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#tags her like she’s a real character. as if she doesn’t have a total of one name drop and a portrait

lume-nosity · 1 year

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an: this is a reupload!! (copy and paste pain) because for some reason my original post wasn’t showing up on the tags?? even my own??? if this doesn’t show up again i’m just gonna leave it as is. also the og’s who saw the post before i took it down are the real ones <3 anyways, requests are closed but i took this as a suggestion because i wanted to do it. when i saw this in my inbox i felt productive/determined to fulfill this ask so you're welcome /Ih and holy shit 2k+ notes on part one you guys are crazy thank you so much i'm so glad you liked it!! you take care of yourself as well dear anon <3

‘i've got my eye on you.’ (pt. 2)

prompt: what would they do if they saw their s/o in an uncomfortable situation

characters: itto, diluc, zhongli, ayato, tartaglia, thoma, kaeya

style: fluff, much fluff

notes: not proofread, lowercase intended, possibly ooc because i used character demos/teasers/ a few voicelines as references, gender neutral reader, the smaller text is whispering, no dialogue/use for [name], kuki shinobu mention in itto's part, how tf do you write zhongli and kaeya, petnames: beloved, treasure, love, swearing, blood mention in tartaglia's part, tartaglia getting a little violent, got lazy while writing the last few portions

reblogs are appreciated!

itto

"HEYYYY THERE YOU ARE!! so uh, are these guys bothering you?"

"huh, so they are. hey! hey, no worries! ill getcha outta here. i'm THE arataki numero uno they’re dealing with."

"hey, so, you're making my lovely super amazing wonderful partner uncomfortable and i would absolutely LOVE it if you leave em alone."

"oh wait, they're already gone. OHHHH did i scare them?? HAHAHAAA, man, that was great. totally worth the scare. anyways! want to have an onikabuto battle? yeah? OKAY! come on, come on, come on!!! i know the best spot to find them. but just so you know, i will beat you this time!"

let me tell you itto's was a lot of fun to write. i don't have to write too seriously!!!

he was looking for you actually, to have a little onikabuto battle since he's determined to win. (despite the many losses he has under his belt)

but seeing you look so uneasy from afar, yeah no he's not having it. ran towards you at mach 20.

one simple glance at him, those creeps are running to their mothers. the best part was that itto was confused as to why they've run off but he assumed it was because of him.

well, he's half right, because what really scared them off was kuki shinobu's shadow quite literally appeared out of nowhere next to you and itto. mvp! you guys weren't aware of her presence, because after they ran off, she just walked away. stealthy. like a boss.

i find it canon that if itto has a s/o shinobu would do anything in her power to keep those two away from trouble/danger. it's her job as deputy leader of the arataki gang, right?

diluc

"look, i'm not interested in small talk, but i'll get straight to the point. if you wish to make things simple for the both of us, see yourselves out. i won't ask again."

"what am i going to do about it? well, wouldn't you like to know." (casually readies his claymore)

"what a bunch of imbeciles. *sigh* i apologize for not arriving here sooner, i'll escort you home."

"you. want to stay with me? alright, i'll arrange a room for you at the winery right away. no? ah. i see. then i suppose my bed would big enough for the two of us to sleep on. are you satisfied with that? good. now let's go."

he isn't the darknight hero for nothing

like the gentleman he is, he was going to accompany you until you get home safely and then exchange goodbyes.

but no, you wanted to stay with him for the night. he has many rooms for the guests to use, but when you in particular suggested to sleep with him in his room, he of course doesn't mind since it's you.

should it be anyone else, it'll be an immediate no. so be glad you get to have this privilege from the guy because he loves you and is willing to do anything for you

zhongli

"pardon the intrusion, but i believe now's the time for the both of us to take our leave. please excuse us."

"it'd be wise for you to not place your indelicate hands onto my beloved. lest you'll see a rather.. grotesque, outcome."

"my dear, are you alright? ... how did i find you, you may ask? oh, please do not underestimate me. i'm far more than what meets the eye."

"we are sharing a contract, after all. to live and cherish life with one another until the end of time, to be safe, filled with tenderness and warmth within our hearts, and to not have anyone interfere that great deal of a bond. for you are my greatest treasure."

rip my brain for having to push zhongli's portion out because it clearly cannot comprehend this man's vocabulary.

you and him are to follow a contract, yes. but it's similar to a confession, if that makes sense?

basically zhongli was the one to confess to you first with his built-in thesaurus (to which you accepted of course if you like him too) and then have you and him sign' this sort of contract as a promise to stick with one another for as long as life can allow it. and by sign...

it's a kiss. to seal the contract :)

ayato

"a pity. hm? yes, i am 'the head of the kamisato clan. but your concerns about my reputation is irrelevant."

"you're harassing my lover, and if i catch you doing this unsightly act once again, then i'm afraid i'll have to resort to something that'll make you wish you've never been born."

"ah, my words were too harsh? nonsense, it was vitally necessary. at least it'd driven them away. well, i guess there are benefits for someone of high status."

"come now, i'll have my staff cook you something to your liking. you are my lover, so they'll be sure to suit your needs. you needn't worry."

fun fact: i've never finished ayato's story quest so i was writing this blind (with the help of some voicelines/demos/teasers, this goes along with the rest of the men on this list)

originally, you two were going on a nightly stroll since he was free but were stopped by a group of creeps. however, ayato handled the matter in his way.

in his head, those creeps are a waste of time and mere bugs because, well, they are. and pathetic, because they immediately recognize him for his high status and they all shrank in his presence. which made things easier for ayato. he made a small threat, and then they zoomed.

afterwards, he wanted to bring you home for dinner instead. continuing to stay out after that ordeal was not an option in his book.

what a good man

tartaglia

"wow, you all are quite bold. daring to do that while i'm here? hah, how risky. i'm actually impressed, by how wrong of a move you've just played."

"say, wouldn't you guys be interested for a sparring session? i'll be delighted to fight you all at the same time to enhance my combative capabilities. no? are you sure? okay, the offer's still on the table you know. and don't think i'm letting you all off so easily."

"love, are you alright? did they hurt you? if they did then i'll be sure to give them the same pain as they did to you. but worse. hm? no? okay, if you insist."

"moving on, let's go home shall we? the more i think about those creeps, the more i'm itching to grab my blades and hunt them down. oh! no, it's nothing. let's move, wouldn't want to stay out for too long."

we all know that he'll definitely end them

the thing is, he was right next to you when it happened and it's almost as if those asshats were blind!!!

blinded by his beauty ig

well, those assholes should sleep with one eye open every night now that tartaglia has seen them.

thoma

"excuse me, my partner and i are in a hurry. we have important business to attend to and we wouldn't want to be late."

"we won't take up the rest of your time, so please, if you'll excuse us."

"phew, that was rough. i didn't like how they were treating you, so i wanted to help you out. oh nonono, there's no need to thank me! as your boyfriend, it's my job to make sure that you're safe and happy at all times!"

"to get your mind off of what happened, i'll cook dinner for you tonight. any preferences? favorites? recipes? ill be sure to write them down!"

thoma based

instead of staying and insulting them, he just makes up an excuse to leave! it saves less time!!

..which shunned the creeps to bits. because you see, to me, people who are as kindhearted as thoma are equivalent to sunshine. and by sunshine i mean blindingly bright.

too nice and polite to the point the creeps are blind and deaf, you get what i mean?

kaeya

"well, well, well, how amusing of you all to act in such a way while i'm here. clearly you weren't cautious about your surroundings nor able to understand the differences between common courtesy and disrespect."

"how do i think so? from what you were displaying a few seconds ago, there's an obvious answer to that. it's allill written in your face. uneasiness. just like my partner."

"run along now, before your feet will run cold."

"ah, please, spare me the thanks. i only did what i had to do. as long as you're safe, that's all that matters to me. now then, allow me to treat you to dinner. it's all on me~"

honestly i got very lost in writing kaya's portion despite listening to his voicelines for like 2-3 times :,)

but, what i can conclude from this is that he'll be the sly bro he usually is with people

except in here, it's a bit different. his words are like that of a snake, wrapping around its prey.

makes sense, because kaeya doesn't stand people who make his s/o uncomfortable. if he scares them off or anything, then so be it. anything to keep you safe.

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co-sharkie · 1 month

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Grayson Waller and the friends to lovers trope

Everyone automatically assumes you two are a couple when they first see you together.

You two stand so close you might as well just hug everywhere you go.

The entire roster is convinced you’re secretly dating and just not saying anything because you don’t want the public to freak out.

Surprise! You two are not dating but in fact just crushing hard on each other but you’re both bad at your feelings and would never admit it even in a life and death situation because you’re both convinced the other doesn’t feel the same.

But seriously, it’s so obvious…

It’s not like Grayson grabs you food from catering so you can eat after a match.

It’s not like you two always sit extremely close during podcasts or interviews.

It’s not like you guys always get plane tickets together so you can sit next to each other on flights.

It’s not like you guys cuddle and watch movies in hotel rooms while in another city for shows.

It’s not like he didn’t break character and run out to check on you when you might have gotten injured.

It’s not like you don’t buy matching floral button downs.

It’s not like he doesn’t post pictures of you two together on trips and tag you as his ‘beautiful partner’.

Totally not like you guys aren’t already together or anything…

It takes the entire female roster to convince you that he likes you too.

Charlotte tells you about how she always sees him staring at you with what she describes as “literal heart eyes”.

Naomi tells you about how he’s always turning his head when he hears your name.

Michin says she hears him talking so highly about you to the other guys.

Liv admits that she heard from a friend of a friend that he thinks you’re on a date every time you go to a restaurant together.

Samantha says he tells her to say your name extra loud because he knows you deserve it.

Finally, you said you’d say something to him…

—

You had just finished packing your gear and were supposed to find Grayson. He said you could go to the hotel together and told you to meet him near catering.

You didn’t find him, but you did find Austin.

“Hey Austin! Have you seen Grayson?”

“Oh, yeah—your boyfriend? He’s at the vending machine down the hall.”

“Thanks~!” Austin walked away with a smile on his face. You never corrected him when he called Grayson your boyfriend.

You saw Grayson at the vending machine just as Austin had said. His back was turned to you as he was picking out snacks. His bag was on his back and you could still see the charm you bough him a few years ago during a trip in Florida.

It was a hammerhead shark holding a pineapple in its little fins. You had a matching charm of a great white shark holding a strawberry. The charms were one of those best friend ones that would magnetize together when close and form a heart.

You jogged up to Grayson, throwing an arm over his broad shoulders. “What are you getting?”

“I was getting you some of those cookies you like.” He bent down to grab the baggie of cookies from the opening of the vending machine. When he came back up, he handed you the bag. “About ready to go?”

“Yeah, but I wanted to talk before we left…” You stared at the cookies now occupying your hands. No matter how many times you rehearsed this confession, you could’ve never prepare yourself for the real deal.

Grayson raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, what’s up?” He sensed your hesitation. “Everything ok? You know you can tell me anything.”

You looked up to finally meet his eyes. “I know, I’m just nervous.”

“What’s there to be nervous about? It’s just me.”

“That’s the point, Gray.”

He frowned, confusion written all over his face. He was super expressive, which made it easy to read him. But he sometimes had a hard time reading you, like now. “What–”

“It’s always been you, Grayson. You’ve always made me so nervous which makes this so hard.” You sighed and looked away from him.

“I don’t understand, (Y/N). Why do I make you so nervous? What’s so hard?” All he wanted to do was give you a hug to calm you, but your words startled him. He thought this might be the end of your friendship.

You took a deep breath and decided to just voice all of your thoughts. “I’m scared to tell you this because I feel we won’t be the same after. But everyone has been telling me I just need to do it.”

You took one of his hands in yours, and he squeezed it for reassurance. He stayed silent, waiting for you to speak your mind. “Grayson, we’ve been friends for so long and I don’t want to lose you but I also don’t want to keep living like I’m hiding something from you.”

“I can’t pinpoint exactly when I started feeling like this. Maybe it was when you gave me your jacket at the movies, or maybe it was when you held me all night while I cried over a break up.”

“But you’ve been there forever for me, and I need to tell you that I love you.”

He could’ve fainted right there. He listened to your entire confession. His mouth slightly agape and his eyes wide in surprise.

“I understand if this makes our relationship uncomfortable for you, I just wanted to–”

Grayson put a finger to your lips, effectively shushing you. “How have you never caught on that I feel the same?” He asked.

It was his turn to talk and you let him say everything he wanted. “I guess I can blame myself, too, since I never really caught on either…”

You laughed. “Are you serious?” You asked in astonishment. You were over the moon that Grayson was saying he feels the same connection.

“Yeah, I’m serious! Why do you think Austin calls me your boyfriend? Because I won’t shut up about you!”

“You’re so beautiful, and amazing, and I thought I’ve been dropping hints for a while but I guess they weren’t too good.”

Grayson laced his fingers with yours. The warmth of him bringing comfort to you.

“Gray, how would I ever catch onto your ‘hints’. You flirt with everyone.”

He rolled his eyes. “Have I ever talked to anyone the way I talk to you? Do you even look at my Instagram posts? I don’t think I’ve posted anyone but you in the last four years.”

“Ok, so maybe they were obvious…” you smiled sheepishly. “But I’m dense, so cut me some slack.”

Grayson laughed. “Yeah, you’re dense. But I love it. I love everything about you. Everything you think is a flaw is just another reason I’m in love with you.”

“How long have you felt like this?” You almost whispered.

“Practically since we met…”

“You’ve felt like this for almost fourteen years, Grayson?!”

“Don’t get mad at me! You didn’t say anything until now either!”

You tugged him into a hug that he happily returned. You both giggled. “You’re such a pain.”

Grayson laid his head on top of yours. “You say that like you didn’t just confess your undying love to me.”

#wwe x reader #grayson waller x reader #wwe fanfiction

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meremothh · 9 months

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not trying to be a hater bc i think that’s dumb and i don’t think zepotha is worse than goncharov because it’s a marketing stunt. i’m pretty sure the girl marketing her song is like. a teenager, and she’s just trying to come up with something that will get her song noticed and good for her. here’s why i actually think zepotha doesn’t work: no one is committing enough to the bit. i have seen equal amounts of people Explaining the joke of zepotha and discussing the logistics of making up this movie as i have seen people actually playing along. goncharov did not have that problem even a little bit. NO ONE broke character. any discussion of goncharov was completely and totally playing along with the idea that it was totally real. anything that was out of character was like, vague posts about how funny it was with goncharov merely tagged. zepotha can’t be goncharov because no one committed enough, they were too proud of the idea.

#zepotha #goncharov #like yes sure tiktok can’t do what tumblr already did best yadda yadda yadda #but tbh i wish zepotha worked better bc it’s such a good idea #would have loved for the next fake movie to have been an 80s horror cult classic????#there’s a billion of those it would have been perfect #too bad #the song is honestly pretty good too

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pureforestspirits · 10 months

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➛ IF THE ATWOW CHARACTERS HAD TUMBLR

featuring! tsireya, lo’ak, neteyam, kiri, ao’nung, rotxo!

just for fun. i couldn’t decide if i wanted to make this a human au, or keep them na’vi… so it’s a mix of both!

TSIREYA - @reefprincessreya 𓇼

she has the most beautiful, aesthetically-pleasing layout you’ll ever see.

username: “reef” because she loves the sea (duh), and “princess” because it’s really pretty + feminine, and she literally is a reef princess after all. finally, her cute nickname “reya”, where the alliteration makes her url extra catchy !

her bio would totally have some beautiful quote.. like, “the way of water has no beginning and no end.” ;)

tsireya does it alllllll. she has her personal tags that she puts on every post to keep organized, and she’ll spend hours on her new themes.

╭ @reefprincessreya

┆sooo happy! our brothers and sisters have

┆returned today, and i finally saw my spirit sister

┆again! she is healthy and well <3

╰ #reya’s life ˚୨୧⋆｡

unlike the rest, who prefer the more private feel of their blog, tsireya shared hers with all her friends who all consistently use tumblr together!

LO'AK - @yooooitsloak

username: he just typed in the first thing that came to mind.

lo’ak literally made a tumblr account just because of tsireya.

it’s almost a ghost blog, but he at least took the time to add a pfp (which is a photo of his fav pair of sneakers).

lo’ak likes every single one of tsireya’s posts. even if there’s only 1 note; it’s lo’ak.

(we love a supportive boyfriend)

NETEYAM - @burntouteclipse ✰

neteyam is the ultimate aesthetic, educated and sophisticated king for liking tumblr by himself ✊🏻 (no shade to lolo though). like ‘reya, he also has a clean, aesthetically-pleasing layout, but it’s more masculine.

username: just sounds cool, y’know? he also works his ass off and is “burnt out” after all (perfection and golden-childism ain’t easy), and eclipse is just a time of day neteyam really enjoys where he gets to relax and spend time for himself.

neteyam doesn’t complain much in real life, or let out a lot of his feelings. tumblr is like his peaceful, personal, private corner where he can speak his mind, which he really appreciates.

i can see him reblogging and following fashion accounts that he likes, as well as occasionally posting a little ramble. ‘teyam’s page is scattered with some little thoughts and feelings here and there between reblogs of cool streetwear clothing and artistic photos/photography (for human neteyam).

you’ll see him and tsireya interact with each other on occasion!

╭ @burntouteclipse

┆ accidentally hit my knee earlier today,

╰ and now i can barely run properly. shit

⠀ ╭ @reefprincessreya

⠀ ┆ oh no! i’m sorry to hear. hope you

⠀ ╰ ➤ will feel better soon, ma ‘eylan! ♥︎

⠀ ╭ @burntouteclipse ☆ Original Poster

⠀ ╰ ➤ thank you tsireya

if there’s a girl he likes, neteyam’ll try and see if she has a tumblr. he’ll eventually find it, and enjoys scrolling through her posts + loves reading her little rambles. but he does it from a distance, and doesn’t interact (you’d never know. he’s the epitome of secret admirer). . .

KIRI - @atokirina333 ❀

username: kiri’s a spiritual gal, what can i say? not to mention, she was named after the atokirina, so it’s perfect. there’s also angel numbers!! ofc!!! ps: this url was taken at first, but she tracked down the person and convinced them to give it to her. somehow.

unlike neteyam who writes ‘n posts small things sometimes… kiri can rant here. don’t get me wrong, she’s not posting paragraphs, but she definitely lets loose when she wants to.

human kiri posts her plants, her crystals, her music vinyls, the desserts she likes baking, her books and posters, literally anything and everything you’d find in her room because it’s all pretty.

what else would you see on her page? poetry. reblogs of quotes and aesthetic photos, and especially pretty photos of nature (kiri and ‘reya’s tumblrs are similar in this sense)!

she and tsireya reblog each other very often!

AO'NUNG

"what's tumblr?"

ROTXO - @justrotxo

username: he’s just rotxo! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ though when he first joined, his @ was originally “reefboyrotxo”, but he (jokingly) got called out for copying tsireya, so he changed it.

hm, tbh, i don’t really see him as an avid tumblr user!

i have a headcanon that human rotxo'd be a surfer though, so i feel like he’d probably have 1-2 posts of a beautiful sunset + his surfboard, and like one post of a random thought he had. that’s it. his theme would also be blue/teal.

i feel like he would’ve gotten tumblr because of his friends, and goes on just to see all of their posts.

he interacts with/likes the posts of everyone in his circle! :)

. . .

AO'NUNG (continued)

“what’s tumblr?”

it’s a social media app. your sister likes using it.

“oh, ok. whatever.”

neteyam sully uses it too. oh, and his brother lo’ak.

ao’nung is already intrigued at neteyam, but when he hears lo’ak is on there? oh boy.

he immediately signs up, and then gets all of his friends to as well.

soon, lo’ak is flabbergasted at the sudden flood of random anonymous troll asks he receives on his empty blog.

ao’nung was going to anonymously send something to ‘teyam as well (obviously not to lo’ak’s extent), but after finding and looking through it… he actually secretly likes neteyam’s blog.

after everyone find out it’s him, he still eventually just keeps his tumblr to continue messing with the sullys, and his sister. popping in with a “DELETE THIS 🔥🔥🔥” to show he’s indeed still there, once every few eclipses.

╭ @reefprincessreya

╰ ➤ ao’nung. rä’ä.

the end!

╭ @pureforestspirits

┆heyy! thanks so much for reading <3

┆fun fact: i started writing this in my notes

┆app one day at like 4am. the sleep

┆deprivation was worth it, i think.

┆it was really fun to make LMAO

┆

┆all interactions are muuuch appreciated,

┆since i’m still pretty new to posting. thank u!

╰#✺ ࿐ ۫

6 notes wink wink

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venusin-aries · 7 months

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Anti’s coming into the Gwyneth Berdara tag and accusing Gwynriel’s of the mischaracterization of Gwyn or only liking Gwyn because of Gwynriel is fucking LAUGHABLE.

All I've seen are posts singing praises about Gwyn (just Gwyn!) and I have NOT ONCE seen a Gwynriel shipper characterize Gwyn wrongly.

What are we mischaracterizing her for?

Being brave as fuck for choosing to train to be a Valkyrie? Nesta’s admiration and fondness of her? For saying she’s resilient for being able to enjoy herself and laugh with her friends after experiencing some fucked up shit? THAT SHE'S LIKABLE?? Being strategic and patient FOR DAYS and spying on the Illaryian males before sending the beasts after them ruthlessly? Being smart and witty? Her interests in sex and smut and stating she doesn’t want to be coddled? Her willingness to sacrifice herself on the bridge? Her determination to finish the blood rite even though she was injured as fuck? Her unwavering loyalty toward Nesta and Emerie? That Nesta thinks her beauty is comparable to Mor and Merrill?

The fact that she’s not judgemental and she immediately accepted Nesta when they were sharing their stories? Her own struggle with guilt and self hate? Her immediately witnessing what Azriel is capable of when they first met? Azriel’s shadows reacting POSITIVELY towards her and yeah, the thought of her joy glowing in his chest? That she teases him and challenges him? That she hasn't seen him torture someone yet but she's seen worse shit soooo why would she be fazed??

She's canonly more suitable for Azriel than anybody else in the series and THAT'S why people dislike her as a character even though on her own she's a great character.

Those are only SOME of her positives we got in ONE book. Notice, some of those positives include Azriel, but most don’t 🤷🏻‍♀️.

Allllllll of those points have textual evidence to support them. And these are allllllll the points Gwynriel shippers love to make about her.

The only charactization of her anti’s will accept is if she goes back to the library, stays there and is never seen or heard of in canon again. Or if she’s evil which she’s likely not going to be. Stop being so petty. If anything SJM has her set up for a HEALING journey.

However some people obviously like to see a female character STAY broken and let her trauma define her.

Getting mad when she's so obviously such a fun character? She has fun and laughs and teases her friends and Cassian and Azriel and enjoys herself but there's something wrong with that and you think its annoying????

Fanon Gwyn and Canon Gwyn are basically the same. If you don’t like fanon Gwyn, you probably don’t like canon Gwyn and that’s fine, whatever, I think you have totally shit taste but whatever just STAY OUT OF THE GWYNETH BERDARA TAG.

I see the shit ya'll tag and then delete.

I’m a Gwyn stan first and foremost but I have not seen one single other Gwynriel shipper mischaracterize her.

Fanon is fun until it melts your brain and you start believing ONLY fanon and wrongly remembering canon and then attacking others for using canon to support their points.

It’s crazy to me that anti’s can dislike a fictional character so much that the idea of potentially seeing more of said character in the canon universe and getting more fandom love honestly upsets them.

Like holy shit, I don’t like E/riel, but I have enough tact not to take that out on either Elain OR Azriel. And I don’t go looking to start shit with shippers because I'm not pathetic. Too bad some people can’t extend that same class to Gwyn.

Also, I feel like some people forget about this fucking scene.

Gwyn studied Ramiel's craggy, unforgiving slope. Not much snow graced its sides. Like the wind had whipped it all away. Or the storms had avoided its peak entirely. “Is it living, though? To take the safe road?”

“You’re the one who's been living in a library for two years,” Emerie said.

Gwyn didn't flinch. “I have. And I am tired of it.” She surveyed the blood-soaked leather along her thigh. “I don't want to take the safe road.” She pointed to the mountain, to the slender path upward. “I want to take that road.” Her voice thickened. “I want to take the road that no one dares travel, and I want to travel it with you two. No matter what may befall us. Not as Illyrians, not for their titles, but as something new. To prove to them, to everyone, that something new and different might triumph over their rules and restrictions.”

A cold wind blew off Ramiel's sides.

Whispering, murmuring.

“They call this climb the Breaking for a reason,”Emerie countered gravely.

Nesta added, “Wehaven't eaten in days. We're down to the last of our water. To climb that mountain-“

“I have been broken once before,” Gwyn said, her voice clear. “I survived it. And I will not be broken again- not even by this mountain.”

Look at me and tell me this is a character we’ll never hear from again. Go right a fucking head.

You can't come into the Gwyneth Berdara tag claiming we mischaracterize her. We take her as is. No need to pick her apart or give her little unnecessary traits to fit her better with any one.

It's not possible to make her out to be something she's not when every little thing we love about her is canon.

You can be salty over us comparing Bryce/Hunt and Azriel/Gwyn but oh wait! SJM uses similar language to describe them ON PURPOSE in canon as fucking well!!!

On purpose.

In fucking canon.

But we’re reaching.

Do not come into the Gwyneth Berdara tag and say Gwynriel’s make it hard to like her but oh, you do like her you do! And then go on to say she’s nothing more special than a Valkyrie or Nesta’s friend. Yeah, I fucking saw that shit.

People are weirdly jealous over a ship/inspiring character a lot of people relate to.

Gwyn is not stealing Azriel from any one because there’s NO ONE to steal him from.

These character's are fake but the hate and vitriol ya'll are spewing at people who like her are very real.

Just stay out of the Gwyneth Berdara tag if you don't like her.

#gwyneth berdara #gwyn berdara #gwynriel #pro gwynriel #azriel x gwyn #gwyn x azriel #pro gwyneth berdara #acotar #acosf #I probably have more to add but I'm blanking #Oh its a long boy #but coming into the Gwyneth Berdara tag and being a dumb bitch is a choice #also this is probably a mess but oh well

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sgt-morgan · 1 year

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Angst related to season 2 with elektra coming back and current gf struggling with insecurities regarding her relationship with Matt

Deserving ❤️‍🩹

Summary: You and Matt are in a situationship, and Elektra seems to spell trouble for your budding romance.

Warnings:AFAB & Female identifying reader, angsty, hurt comfort. I am not super versed in the art of angst, and I don’t know what to tag. If you want a warning here it is.

A/N: I hope this satisfied your ask, I want more of them! I hope this is what you wanted!

Daredevil Masterlist

Jesus sweet Christ. She was back. Long black hair, Hot as the ninth level of hell, knows how to kick ass, clever, rich. Not a lot to compete with there, you supposed, she’s just… hotter? It just… didn’t make sense to you, if Matt had access to all… that. Why in the name of all hell was he choosing to date an obnoxious, mouthy, poor, accident prone lawyer with no notable features to mention. It made exactly no sense. You weren’t that serious you supposed, you sort of dated, three real dates, patching a lot of bruises, snuggles on couches, you supposed that you were considered his girlfriend. Maybe not though, I mean Jesus, she is both named and dressed like a mortal combat character. On a good day all you could compare yourself to was someone from street fighter two. How were you to compete? Someone was clearly winning here, and you didn’t feel like it was you.

They had totally fucked too. The body language, the smiles, the communication? They knew each others bodies. No denying chemistry. You were confused about all your feelings too. Was this jealousy? No, it felt more like… resignation? Like okay, hot boyfriend has a super, SUPER hot ex, there’s very obviously some unrequited feeling, you are a worm and they’re bald eagles. Eagles don’t date worms, they consume them then fly off to their hotter eagle-y girlfriends and sometimes maybe reminisce about how good the worm was, before remembering how much cooler their girlfriend was. God, this sucked. But, then again, you remembered them dating in college, and she made Matt miserable for a time. You remembered stories from college, you remembered how long putting Matt back together took for you and Foggy. You remembered how hard he fought being loved. Remembered his belief that he was a terrible person. Remembered the long road back to happiness. Surely, you thought, surely there was no love lost there. She just needed his help, Daredevil’s help. They didn’t want each other. They were like oil and water. It would be fine. You decided to give Matt the benefit of the doubt.

You two worked and acted as if nothing was wrong. However, while for you it was an act, for Matt, he saw it as a sign that he could lean in on what he was trying to accomplish with Elektra. It was taking its toll, but Matt was yet to notice. It was horrible, you felt miserable, and you had no other choice but to simply wait it out. You knew he would make the right choice eventually, but when?

Sometime in the middle of this you’re approached by Jeri Hogarth. It’s a good offer, smart, pays good, right in your wheelhouse, and with a shining endorsement from Jessica Jones. (Or as shining anything Jessica says can get.) It seems tempting, but you don’t accept. You can’t, not when you Foggy, and Matt have built so much. Then he doesn’t show to court.

“Mathew! You can’t just bail on this case! There’s no way we can do it if you’re not-“

“We’re sorry, you’ve run out of time.”

“Damn it!” You slammed your phone down and continued to pace, waiting for Matt but he never showed. You knew about the Roxxon Gala, but with him putting all of your necks on the line for Frank fucking castle, you expected him to show. Not only that, but he’s bailed on dates, she’s staying in his apartment, she looks at you like you’re garbage and Matt just… lets her. Jeri’s offer weighs. It gets more attractive by the hour.

“I’m here!” He cries, finally bursting through the first set of doors, you usher him in, and witness the whispered argument between him and Foggy and don’t really think much of it. One time mistake, he will do better, besides, we’re saving the world here.

Things keep spiraling though, and you’re having to do friendship triage. You have to take the brunt of his and Foggy’s headbutting. It’s obnoxious, when you built this practice, you did it to make your lives better, not ruin your friendships. It’s weighing on you. Matt can tell, and the guilt he feels is unmatched. He just can’t stop. This feels too big too… important. Then one ninja battle too far puts you over the edge.

“Matt! Are you here? We need your he-“ there she is. In his bed. In your clothing. “Oh.” Your voice comes out strained and small. Matt has never heard it that quiet. That defeated.

“Honey it’s not-“ but he doesn’t get that far. Your whole body just… deflates. He can hear the silent tears, feels the shuddering. You’re done. This was the last straw. He can tangibly feel you slipping through his fingers, hears the shatter of your heart and that’s when he knows he’s been a fool. “Oh. Oh my love.” He coos, reached for you, desperate to put back all that he’s broken, trying to stop the sand spilling out the hour glass. You flinch away. His whole heart shatters. Breaks to a million pieces and falls there at your feet.

“Matt I-“ you shrug, a mirthless laugh shudders through your tears. “I don’t even know what to say here.” He drops his head and nodded, properly scolded.

“No. I- I don’t blame you.” He nods, gesturing towards the bedroom. “She was stabbed, it was poison- I… It’s not about that though. I know.”

“Do you?” You sniffle. “I don’t think you do. Matt I-“ You sighed and gathered your things. “I had to help put you back together with my own two hands Matthew, she ruined you, and you’re letting her do it again. I don’t even recognize you anymore. That’s sad Matt, because I was just starting to love you. I’m… I’m done.”

Then, you were gone. Your letter of resignation was on their desks promptly by 7 am, you accepted the job with Jeri Hogarth, and that was it. Matt fucked it all up. He kept fighting, but there, all day every day was this immense pain. He has lost You. You, the woman who every day smiled at him, and made him a coffee, and joked about his night life, you who never once required him to give up a part of himself to save your friendship, you, who had loved him. Loved him completely. He’d lost it all. Then, he lost some more. Frank castle had disappeared, and they had lost the case. Foggy and Karen left, Elektra died. He was all alone.

Then like the warm sun after a long winter, you came. It was the day of Elektra’s funeral.

“You’ve gotta let ‘em all go Matty. It’s time. I’ve told you, over and over, going have to let go of your emotional ties. You’re weak with them.” Stick shrugged, “without them, you could accomplish so much more.”

Matt chuckled bitterly, “No. You’ve taken too much from me already, but you won’t take my heart. Elektra is dead, we defeated the hand for now, but I never would have even thought it was worth it if it weren’t for them. For Elektra, Karen, Foggy. They are worth it. My love for them is worth it.” He shook his head, and tears welled in his eyes. “Y/N was worth it too, and you took that from me, you and Elektra and your little games. You took it from me, and Y/N may hate me. God! I hope she does hate me! She was the one good thing I had Stick, she put back together all those little shattered bits, and built me back into the man I am today. Then, I repay her with this.” He gestures to Elektra’s grave, to the city at large, to himself. “She was beautiful, and kind, and perfect. She made me happy. She made me want to keep fighting for this stupid city, and now Elektra is dead, you’re still here ruining my life, and Y/N hates me. Even with all that, it was worth it. Because if for one second, she is safer than she was before I made this sacrifice. Then fighting to the death, for this city, for her, is worth it. I love her Stick, that’s the only thing that keeps me going. I love her, and now she’s safe. Safe from the hand, safe from Frank Castle, and she’s safe from me. Knowing that Y/N has a chance to flourish and grow, that’s what makes all this fighting, this pain, the devil. It makes it all worth while. If I give that up, what is it all for?” Then he sat in silence, and stick went away.

At first, sitting there at Elektra’s grave, he thought the smell of your perfume was a hallucination. Another stray temptation, another ghost of a memory come to haunt him. He treasured it though, even the idea of you was a beautiful thing. He embraced the memory, though it was painful. Then he was enveloped on it, the smell surrounded h, then he realized he was no longer alone. He froze. Then his senses started to catch up to his reeling mind. The smell, the faint taste of the sweat of your brow in the breeze, the sound of your breath. You were there. You were there, sitting and staring at Elektra’s grave, holding flowers. Then you reached out a hand, and stroked his cheek. He pushed his face into your palm, starving for your touch. He whimpered, the tears he was holding finally let loose. Then you were speaking.

“I don’t hate you Matt. I couldn’t if I tried.” You sighed and bundled him to you. Placing the flowers on the bench and holding him as he cried. You had heard everything.

“I never got the chance to tell you.” He cried, “you were gone- I let you go. But I never told you.” His sobs wracked his body, and you ached with their severity.

“Tell me what Matty?” You shushed, drying tears and attempting to coax him to an answer.

“I never told you I loved you.” He sighed and clutched your face in his hands. “It’s you, it’s always gonna be you. I love you, I love your humor, your laugh, your smell, the touch of your hands can cure my every wound. It’s always been you. I was just too stupid to see you slipping away. I never wanted to loose you. You’re my everything, I just never said anything because- because you deserve so much better than me. I’m so sorry.”

“Oh Matthew,” you began to cry as well, “My sweet, imbecilic devil man. You always deserved me, every day you throw your life on the line for us, for this city. I always thought you deserved me, and I deserve you. I didn’t see that at first, and I should have fought for it. I left you when you needed me, and I’ll never forgive myself”

“No!” He cried, pressing your foreheads together frantically. “You will never take the blame for this. I was wrong you deserved the best of me, and I didn’t give it. I gave up? I was a fool.”

You laughed and nuzzled your noses closer. “Then let’s call it a draw and say we were both foolish. We can be fools together. We deserve each other.”

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procrastinatingsoicanreadfanfics · 10 months

Text

Vikings and their eras

Summary: what era would vikigns be in if they weren't in their own

Notes: I did a lot of text for this one, bc I loved thinking about this!! There are some pretty popular characters missing (Ragnar, Sigurd, Athelstan) where I just couldn’t imagine a certain era for them. Thank you so much for your request :)))))) Some of these eras aren’t wonderful or filled with positivity but that doesn’t mean these characters wouldn’t thrive.

tagged: @majesticwren @obsessiveformiyatwins @leithdragon @demon-of-the-ancient-world @alicedopey, @ivarlover @levithestripper @batmandallyboy @akayxo09 @vrtualfairy (hmu to be added!)

based on this request | masterlist | requests are OPEN!

Lagertha

Lagertha would thrive well in times of crises and war (lmao). The black death, WW1 or 2, or long periods of war/famine/sickness is where Lagertha does well. Think about her what you will, but she brings people together, manages them, and takes care of them. She’s a natural leader, and a fighter, so she’s able to protect her community.

We’ve seen examples of this in the series, think during the sickness in Kattegat, or when she takes over and completely builds up Hedeby. People tend to trust her, and especially women look up to/feel safe around her. When disaster strikes, she would be able to save/take care of them.

Aslaug

I had to think about this for a really long time because I think that Aslaug fits so well into the era the show is set in, however, I finally decided on the 1920s. Even as a feminine woman in Viking Scandinavia, she had a lot of authority over herself and knew how to grow a business (Kattegat) when Hirst wasn’t feeling sexist.

In the 1920s, she’d live in a big city, maybe Berlin or New York, and she’d own some sort of speakeasy. I’d love to think that her speakeasy would be a place for the very few pagans of the city to meet up in secret, and she herself would still be a norse pagan, völva, etc. Also, she’d dip her toes into wild jewellery design (think Schiaparelli). Definitely someone who attracts artists and would be considered a muse.

Rollo

Middle Medieval Ages for sure. He thrives being a knight because he’s a manipulative little hoe that I can’t stand. Gets to do his performative heroism during tourneys and woo women only to leave them all alone.

Rollo is not a good person, esp. towards women. He constantly gets into trouble with the church and with fathers whose daughters he ‘dishonors’. Definitely needs a wife like Gisla to slap some sense into him. I think that eventually (mid forties) he’d start to mature. Also, having children would help him become a better person (I think they should have put that into a show).

Bjorn

Bjorn thrives well in the late 2000s to early 2010s, when travel blogs were on the rise. He’s one of the early influencers, and travels the world together with Halfdan. This only works bc cancel culture isn’t real yet. Bjorn would say some stupid shit and get hounded for it let’s be real. Nonetheless, there is always some rumour about him and Halfdan being a thing (they would be if they both didn’t constantly say ‘that’s gay’).

Alternatively, Bjorn might make a good colonizer (can I say that?), but it’s not like he isn’t that already.

Ubbe

Ubbe would thrive during the late medieval ages (defo not the Renaissance though). He’s the type of man who would enjoy the idea of the charming knight. I think Ubbe would definitely enjoy the idea of quests/saving damsels in distress/having the arranged-marriage-turned-lovestory (he’s a booktok girly tbh).

This doesn’t mean that all of this is totally pure. Ubbe gets some shit twisted in canon as well (ESPECIALLY concerning Margrethe). Maybe his first war was something crusade-like, and he went into it thinking of heroic acts and blabla and then got fucked up by battle and gore. Also has a religion and Madonna/whore complex problem.

Hvitserk

In the show, Hvitserk was always seeking sense/purpose while also struggling with balance, which is why I think he would thrive in the 1970s. This is THE era for protests and social change. Climate change, feminism and sexuality all became important topics. Going to protests would be able to give him a sense of change, and I think it would be liberating for him as well, to be able to free himself of his restraints by changing something.

I’ll go into communes a little more for Helga, but I think Hvitserk would thrive in an early commune a lot. He needs to have people around him taking care of his mental health, and this would be great for his mental health. Yes, therapy helps a lot of people, but I think if Hvitserk lived in our time, he would think that talk therapy is stupid, and completely close himself off to it. This guy just needs a lot of love, okay?

Also, he needs to smoke some 70s weed every once in a while.

Ivar

Just like Hvitserk, Ivar would thrive during the 1970s. However, this is for completely different reasons and also means that no one else gets to thrive. I chose the 1970s because it’s THE serial killer decade.

That honestly sounds terrible but we all know it’s true.

Ivar would be bitter about being discriminated/not being able to fully take part in society/not getting any women and that would turn him homicidal. He definitely overcomplicated his killings and does shitty bloodeagles to get some cool name but all he gets is like “the Viking killer” or something and he’s so mad about that he reveals himself on his deathbed to change his title. It doesn’t work.

Floki

Floki just wants to be where Helga is, but he would not thrive in the 2020s. I think he’d get in arguments with Helga about vaccinations. However, I want Floki to be in the 2010s/2020s with Helga. He definitely has some kind of hallucination-related mental illness at the least. I think that especially the season where he acted out against Helga (season 4?) shows that his mental health was making him harmful towards others and probably towards himself.

I can’t diagnose Floki, but I think we can all see that he might have some kind of bipolar disorder/mania disorder on top of a schizophrenia. He needs some kind of meds, and he needs someone to help him taking them.

Helga

This is very specific, but Helga would do AMAZING during the early era of Covid (like March 2020). Yes, she’s a very social person, but I do believe that Helga would be part of a quite isolated commune if she lived during modern times, and even during that time be isolated with Floki.

I would like to think that the commune could be self-sufficient and Helga just gets to go ham making banana bread and care packages. She thrives in this time where she doesn’t really have to go to work (even though she loves being a kindergartener too) and gets to take care of the people in her commune, and even further than that from the comfort of her own home.

Astrid

This woman thrives where no one else does, and that is toxic 2020s twitter. All she does is tweet, get cancelled, tweet, get popular, repeat. She’s so so annoying and bullies a bunch of people who don’t deserve to be bullied. Is most definitely blocked by trump, hailey Bieber and the Kardashians at least.

Makes a living by selling feetpics.

Ecbert

Ecbert thrives in the 1980s. Now. Hear me out. Ecbert in neon Zumba clothes. There, that’s my reason.

I’m just kidding, there’s more. I’m not old enough to fully understand most of the decades I’m talking about in here but the 1980s, it seems, were this extremely colorful and wild decade. Literally everywhere, color just kind of seemed to explode, and I think Ecbert would thrive in this kind of chaotic atmosphere.

(are there people in their forties or older on this post that can verify?)

Aelswith

I’m really sad that we didn’t go into Aelswith more in the show, but I firmly believe that Aelswith would make an amazing Sufragette. Thinking back to her time on the show, she was always very firm in standing her ground, more so than Judith or even Lagertha in some ways (especially in the sense that she was SO YOUNG). She directed and strengthened Alfred, and I think during season 6, she used a beartrap to defend her baby?

Anyway, I imagine her as a rich/aristocratic lady in London who definitely steers the household while Alfred brings the money in (he likes art) and she decides that, if she puts in the work in the house, she should be able to decide over the country that house is in as well.

#history vikings #request #vikings #ivar #hvitserk #ivar x reader #ivar the boneless #ubbe #lagertha x reader #ubbe x reader #hvitserk x reader #aelswith #rollo #aslaug #floki #vikings ivar #ivar ragnarsson x reader #rollo x reader

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writing-for-life · 5 days

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Dearest,

I wonder, how much affects Dream the DAY dreaming of humans and what’s the amount of influence Desire has on it?!

Thank you in advance for answering my question.

Hello friend 👋🏻

Daydreaming is totally under his purview, like everything that is tied to imagination, hopes (!) and wishes.

I guess there is a shred of overlap between Desire(s) and Dream(s), but dreaming is the unreal. It can maybe be the seed of desire though: the impulse to wish for and then want something so badly you go after it to make it real. Desire has a much more physical, real component to it—perhaps it’s best called “striving”?

But I guess that’s why we have Overture, which really goes into that relationship quite deeply. Because only Hope, Dream and Desire together could save the universe. None of them could have done it alone. To me, there was always something in there about Desire taking care of self-preservation (the survival instinct, if you will) and Dream, who usually keeps the boundaries between unreality and reality in check, pulling the ship into reality (making the dream real, if you will, which he usually doesn’t because he is unreality—that’s why it tires him so and nearly destroys him, that’s why he is weak enough to be captured). But Desire basically kicked his arse into gear. And actually saved his arse, too, because this is the third attempt—he didn’t make it in the other two (put them in that get-along-shirt is what I’m saying, and I will not tire of saying it).

But it was Hope who inspired the dreamers. She is the most important puzzle piece (and Dream *knows* it, and so does Desire, and we have many, many panels to support that). And ignored by parts of the fandom to a fault, both as a character and a concept. The girl didn’t even have a tag on Ao3 until I created it 😤

I have a whole meta about her (or rather H/hope in the Sandman) in the making. Because she’s important, she doesn’t stop existing after the reset because her spirit prevails, right into Exiles.

I said what I said 😉

So to bring this to a conclusion: Those two idiots could actually be a dream team if they’d get over themselves. They go hand in hand, but they’re also distinct. And the same could be said for (day)dreams and desires. They’re distinct, but they can also bleed into each other.

@klarahimmeltheendless ask answered

#the sandman #sandman #dream of the endless #morpheus #desire of the endless #hope beautiful lost nebula #sandman meta #sandman overture #overture sandman #ask answered #send me asks #sandman spoilers #sandman overture spoilers #sandman bookclub

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dandelionterminal · 1 year

Text

when they have a plus size s/o part 1/?

in which Kaeya falls for a plus-sized person and Zhongli has loved you in all your bodies

tags: plus size, fluff, hurt/comfort, insecure reader, reincarnation w/ Zhongli, persistent flirting w/ Kaeya, not beta read

pronouns: none, 3rd person perspective (you); two madam/sir in zhongli's

characters: Kaeya, Zhongli (separate)

begins below cut

~Mondstadt welcomes you~

Kaeya: where you join the Knights of Favonious and draw his attention. You take his flirting as a joke until he convinces you to date him for a week.

Total words: 767

Would not care about your physical appearance

He’s a flirt, so no one is shocked when he flirts with you

But when he persists, even when you turn him down, everyone is a bit surprised

Once you start dating, he is all touchy-feely

He dotes on you and loves buying you gifts

He loves to kiss your ear and squeeze your hips

If anyone ever makes fun of you, he will defend you with his honor

When you first joined the knights, you expected to be met with hesitancy. Most were hesitant. However, the cavalry captain met you with open arms. He strutted up to you on your first day and grinned at you.

“And who might you be?” he asked in that suave voice of his. You introduce yourself and went about your work. However, he persisted to follow you around, attempting to strike up a conversation and flirt with you. He mixed pleasantries with compliments about your feistiness and bravery. You continue to shoot him down, eventually losing him when Jean calls him away.

You begin to work in close relation with Lisa. She takes you under her wing and gives you plenty of work and tea to keep you busy. This went on for several months, and the whole time Kaeya watched from a distance. He admired how you held your head up with pride. You carried yourself with such dignity, while still being a kind soul who helped others. He saw you on your missions and how you cared for the people you encountered. Each day he would find you, follow you and tell you how beautiful you were, and then go about his day.

After a particularly stressful day, you venture to Angel’s Share. You had never been one to drink but you felt that itch today. When you went inside you ran into Kaeya, who grinned at you with a smirk.

“Oh look who it is. I never expected to see you here,” he says with a teasing tone.

You scoff and sit a few stools away and order your drink. You continued to ignore him, hoping he’d give up and leave you to your drink. But of course, like always, he persisted.

“So for how long do you plan to ignore me? I am not going away,” he said, moving to sit next to you.

You took a swig of your drink and sighed. “How long do you plan to keep up the game? Can’t you see you're not getting a reaction from me?” you answered.

“Ah, there’s that voice I like. What game are you talking about, y/n?”

“The game where you pretend to actually like me and when I reciprocate you get a huge laugh,” you answer, taking another drink from your glass.

“What are you talking about, y/n? I have always been serious,” he said. That earned a chuckle from you.

“You seriously think I believe that? When you look like you do and I look how I do? That doesn’t happen in real life” you say.

He furrowed his brow at you. His visible eye showed a tinge of hurt. “Y/n, I like you not because of how you look, but for what you have in your soul. Your heart is good, that is why I like you.”

You glared at him “and why would I believe that?” you asked.

He grinned “give me a chance to prove myself. Let me date you for a week and if you still don’t believe me I won’t ever bother you again.”

You sighed but thought about it. After a while of thinking you said “deal.”

That week was full of blissful dates, gentlemanly gestures, and over-the-top gifts. He walked you through town with his arm around your waist, took you on grand picnics, and kissed your hand at the end of each night. He would pick you up from your home each evening, tell you how gorgeous you looked, and then take you on some wonderful experiences. Then he would drop you off at your home, kiss the back of your hand, and pick you up for work in the morning.

On the last day of the week, he dropped you off on your front steps again, holding your hands in his.

“This has been a wonderful week, y/n, thank you,” he kissed your palm this time. “Do you believe me yet?”

You paused, and looked at your feet. “I… I don’t know,” you say. “I just can’t believe someone as gorgeous as you would find me attractive.”

He chuckled. “Oh but I do. The way you smiled tonight, lit by the lamp grass in the forest, it was enchanting,” he said.

You blushed. “Then kiss me. On the lips this time,” you said, voice barely a whisper as you looked at your feet.

You could feel his grin on the top of your head. You lifted your chin “well you have to look at me to do that,” he said before leaning forward and kissing you, deep and sweetly.

~through the stone gate, Liyue awaits~

Zhongli: where he has loved you in all your forms, and this one is no different. You arrive in Liyue as a traveling adventurer and he recognizes your soul as one he has loved before

Total words: 995

Zhongli is a gentleman, but he fell in love with you at first sight

Not much can catch him off guard, but your appearance in Liyue sure did

He instantly felt all the love and sorrow he had felt for your soul upon seeing you

He approached slowly though, after choking on his tea

Once you start “courting” as he insisted on calling it, he treats you like an Archon

gifts (on director Hu’s dime), lavish meals, the whole nine yards

He loves to link arms with you and take you on tours of Liyue

It was a normal day for the Wangsheng funeral parlor’s best and only consultant. He was listening to a grand tale of Rex Lapis at Third-Round Knockout when he felt an unfamiliar but also incredibly familiar presence enter the harbor. He is sipping tea, oolong on this particular occasion, as the sun sinks below the sea when he feels your presence step across the bridge. He hears the rattle of an overfilled backpack and the heavy steps you take as you step up to rest at one of the empty tables. He briefly chokes on his tea upon recognizing you, feeling a wash of feelings rushing over him.

You sigh as you sink into the seat, finally resting your feet after a long journey. You hear the man choking at the table next to him and look over, concerned. “Sir, are you alright?” you ask. That just seems to make the choking worse. Deep inside, he was memorizing your voice. Oh, how it sounded so uniquely familiar.

He composed himself, clearing his throat, and looked at you. “Yes, sorry about that, madam/sir. I was just caught off guard by something,” he smiled. “Would you like some tea? I have a cup and more in the pot.”

You pause and consider it, before shrugging and accepting the offer. The two of you share tea, listening to the tales being told by Iron Tongue Tian. You became so engrossed you didn’t notice him memorizing your figure. From the length and color of your hair to the plushness of your body. He noticed each detail, down to the scars you carried from adventuring. When you did notice his gaze you gave a curious head tilt and he looked away. Once the sun was set and the stories were over you stood up and yawned with a large stretch.

“So, mister with the tea, do you know an inn I could rest at around these parts?” you asked Zhongli. He peered up at you, his golden eyes shining in the light of the lanterns.

“Ah, I’m sorry, but the nearest inn is a long trek away. I’m afraid there are none nearby unless you want to traverse a great distance in the dark,” he replied.

“Oh I see. That’s a bummer,” you sighed. “Well, thanks for the tea,” you say with a wave, grabbing your pack and ready to start the long journey. He stops you though.

“You can call me Zhongli, madam/sir,” he said “and if you would like you may stay in my abode for the night… I apologize, I did not get your name.”

“O-oh,” you stumble over your words, “It’s y/n. I’m a traveler from [region]. And if it would not be trouble…”

“No trouble at all,” he replied. He offered you his arm. “I can not let such a wonderful listener spend a night in the cold.”

After spending a night with Zhongli, you never truly left. You basically became a permanent resident of Liyue Harbor, doing commissions and building a strong reputation within the Harbor. As time passed and your reputation grew, so did the bond between you and Zhongli. The two of you developed a healthy rapport and friendship. Before you knew it, it was Lantern Rite. Zhongli had asked you to go somewhere special with him for the occasion. He led you up into the mountains of Minlin, where the adepti roam. You were fascinated with the sights around you. The mountains were awash with yellows and golden oranges. Stepping into Cloud Retainer’s realm you were stunned into silence.

“Zhongli, where are we?” you asked. “I don’t belong here.” You could feel the divine energy around you, it prickled your skin and made you feel anxious.

“It is alright, my friend. I am with you,” he said, nonchalant. “I wanted to speak with you where I know there would be no prying ears.”

“And it had to be all the way up here?” You asked, earning a chuckle from him.

“Where better than a place only the immortals roam?” you looked around anxiously at that.

“Okay well get on with it. This place feels… too divine.”

He smiled, “but of course.” He looked you in your eyes, his golden eyes shining in the light. “Many centuries ago, I met a person. Someone lovely and kind, and full of wit. And each time they passed on, they came back in a new form. I would love them again and again.”

“That sounds… lonely but very sweet. How exactly have you been alive for centuries? Are you an adeptus?” you said.

“Oh no not quite,” he said, nostalgia lacing his tone. “I used to go by the name Rex Lapis long ago.”

You gaped “You’re kidding me right? Rex Lapis is dead.”

“Oh no I’m not dead, just choosing to live as a mortal.”

“Prove it.” you said.

He chuckles, “Alright,” he said. He shucked off his jacket, pulled off his gloves, and rolled up his sleeves to reveal the dark, inky skin beneath. Golden veins popped from the skin, shimmering in the sunlight. You stared and slowly reached out to touch the skin.

“It’s… beautiful,” you looked up at him. “But why tell me all this?”

He smiled softly at you. “You, my dear, are the next life of my love.” You stepped backwards at that.

“O-oh… I think you’re mistaken. There’s no way an Archon could be in love with me.”

His brow furrowed at that. “Why do you say that? I find you quite charming.”

You blushed, “Mr. Zh- Rex Lapis… Morax-” he cut you off.

“Call me Zhongli, save the titles for another occasion,” he said.

“R-right, Zhongli… I’m not exactly… the definition of beauty,” you replied.

“Says who?” he said. “You’re beautiful to me.” He stepped closer to you, holding your chin in his hand. “And I will love you no matter what form you are in.” he sealed the contract with a kiss.

#zhongli #kaeya #genshin #genshin x reader #plus size #kaeya x reader #chubby #x reader #zhongli x reader #genshin impact

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malarkgirlypop · 6 months

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MEDIC Part 16 (Donald Malarkey x Fem!OC)

Hey guys, listen it's gonna get happy soon, hehe, maybe. Oh god I just keep writing sad stuff. I swear I am so happy and funny in real life! I just like to dump all of my feelings and sadness onto Emily, cause then it isn't my problem but hers and she's not real so... my problems aren't real. OK! ahahah. Also I am so so so so sorry for this is the slowest slow burn of all time, if you are here for romance I am totally sorry. I just want them to kiss, but then it isn't the right time, like idk if I make them get together while she is just going through it. Plus I feel so mean for Don he always helps her and he's just fine. IDK ahhh a lot going on up in my brain. Based on the HBO show and the actors who portray the characters, no hate to anyone involved.

Tag list: @next-autopsy, @xxluckystrike (let me know if anyone else wants to be on the tag list 🥰, totally understand if you don't, this is the most depressing story and if you're having a good day I'm sure it will ruin it.)

Emily stands from her crouched position, striding over to the Nazi soldier. She stands over his body, tilting her head to analyse the dead man. But she doesn’t see a man nor a human. She sees filth. Pig scum who was a waste of space and air. She kicks his leg hard, but he stares up at the sky. Emily bends down picking up the gun slung across his body, she yanks it free. She checks the ammo, seeing the gun is still full, she scavenges over the body taking his magazine. She stands tall walking to where the assault happens, she strolls past her own men who yell at her to take cover. They look at each other confused, wondering why the medic is holding a German gun and walking straight into fire. She spots a group of German soldiers who take cover behind a hay bale. Her finger squeezes the trigger spraying the men in fire. She watches as they fall like dominos. She moves to where they were, firing more shots into the bodies to ensure they are dead. A round fires near her all missing, she scoffs, turning her attention to where the shots came from. Emily picks up her gun, shooting the men down one by one. She marches over to where they were stationed. One man that she had missed scrambles back from her, she notes he looks young, like the boy who’s blood covered her face and chest. She pins the boy to the floor, getting in his face.

“This is for them!” She snarls as she pulls the pistol from her pocket.

She gets up from the now lifeless body picking up her discarded semi-automatic weapon, continuing on her warpath. She walks back out into the opening as if taunting the men to shoot. She stands with dead eyes, her hair loose from the vigorous movement, blowing across her face. Her men stampede either side of her, taking the advantage she just created for them. She tosses her now empty gun to the side but still grips her pistol tightly. A firm grip lands on her shoulder. She doesn’t hesitate, whipping around, she aims the gun right at the man's head. Familiar eyes locking onto hers.

I hold the pistol right between Malarkey’s eyes, the tang of blood on my tongue and the stench of copper on my clothes. I exhale shakily, eyes frantically darting around.

“Em, you’re ok!” Malarkey grips the barrel moving it down from his face.

I step back, dropping the gun to the ground. I take in my hands tacky with blood, I go to wipe them on my front but the green uniform is stained red. Tears spring to my eyes, my heart pounds in my ears. What happened? I look again at my hands, they shake as I recollect the scene that just unfolded. I killed those men. I killed a young boy. I caused the life to leave from his eyes. I shake my head, frantically trying to wipe the blood from my hands, it won’t leave my skin. I drop to my knees tearing at my clothes trying to find my canteen. I pull it from my belt pouring the water over my hands, I desperately rub them together to wash away the stains. I grab at my button’s needing to get the smell that permeates in my nose off my body. I shake violently, unable to unfasten the buttons. “Help me!” I beg Malarkey who watches me with a sympathetic look on his face. He kneels in front of me, undoing my shirt, he helps me to pull it off. I touch my fingers to my face, finding more blood. I pour water from my canteen onto my hand rubbing the liquid into my face. I sob as I wash. Snot mixing in with the blood and tears. I tear at my skin not feeling clean enough. My wrists are grasped.

“Em, please stop, you’re hurting yourself!” Malakey begs me. I gasp for air in between sobs.

“What did I do?” I choke out. Malarkey and I kneel in the open field as he holds my wrists. The sound of gunshots slowly dissipating. He shakes his head, unable to find the words to tell me, not knowing how to put what he saw.

“I killed those men?” I ask, not believing my blurry memories.

“Em you weren’t yourself.” Malarkey tries to explain. I wasn’t there, felt like I was pushed back into my mind and I lost all control. Like falling asleep.

“I murdered those people, Don. This is their blood. I… killed them.” I hyperventilate, shaking my head. Trying to rid my mind of the images that flash behind my eyelids. I gag, retching the contents of my stomach onto the ground. Don watches, sitting helplessly in front of me. “I can’t, I can’t.” I muffle my screams behind my hand. I curl over myself. Pressing my head to the ground. I grip at the grass underneath, hoping that something will help my world stop spinning. I dig my nails into the ground tearing at the earth. I sob uncontrollably, choking on my own breaths. I have never felt this pain in my life. Like my soul is being torn from me. Like everything is being ripped from my body. Unbearable. I wail. Unconsolable.

“EM!” Don pleads with me. He moves to my side, raising me from my hunched position on the ground. He presses me into him, my chest against his. His hands in my hair, pressing my face into his neck. I sob still. His hands rub circles on my back, soothing my hair down. Don rocks us.

“Em this is not your fault. Shhh you’re alright.” He coos in my ear. I hiccup, the cries easing from my throat. I feel the tears still sliding down my face, pooling on his shirt. I grip at him, Don stops my world spinning. I hold on for dear life, worried he could slip away if I loosen my grip.

“I’m so sorry.” I whisper, into the air. I send it out into the universe.

“I’m so sorry.” I see the men's faces, cold and still. Young men, lives ahead of them, I took it. Their chance to live. I took their opportunities. I took a mother’s son, a sibling, a friend. I can’t justify my actions, there was no rationale, no means. I took advantage of the hatred I held and turned it against them. They were following orders, just like our men, just like me. I was the one out of line, I did not follow my orders. I look up at Don, his eyes meet mine. No disappointment in his face, just sorrow. The other men come back, the assault is over. We need to keep moving to Noville. If we sit out in the open we make ourselves more vulnerable. I hear crunching footsteps approach us.

“Let’s get moving.” Lip says to Don. I move to get up but Don holds me close. I look up at him, I nod my head, showing him I’m fine. He lets me go, I move to stand. I shudder looking at my clothes. I lift my head trying to distract myself. I still feel the blood coating my skin. I just want to get somewhere I can change. We walk in silence, Don close to my side. We hang back from the rest of the men. I’m ashamed, I don’t want them to see me like this, covered in blood. That is a normal state for me but this feels different, this blood was not shed from a wound I was trying to fix. It was shed from maleficence, my malice, my hatred. Lip walks in front of us, casting his glance back every so often to make sure I’m still there. I can’t read his expression, but I know he is disappointed, all of the men will be.

We set up camp in one of the houses on the outskirts of town. By the time we reach it night has fallen. I wait outside by myself asking Don to go and get me a new uniform, I don’t want to be paraded through the house in my blood soaked clothes and skin.

He re-emerges out of the house holding clean clothes for me.

“There is a stream not too far away, would you want to go wash there?” Don asks, I nod. There were no showers or places for me to wash here. I would take a cold stream over anything else. I followed behind him, he still held my clothes for me. We used a small torch to light our way. We didn’t talk on our journey, but it was short, we arrived at the stream soon enough. Snow covered the ground but thankfully the stream hadn’t frozen over due to the running water through it. He placed my clothes on a rock.

“I will wait for you up on the bank.” He said and left. I stripped down to my underwear, untying my hair from its bun. I took off my shoes and socks last. My feet burning from the cold underneath my soles. I stepped tentatively into the stream, gasping at the coldness. I walked further in the water coming to my waist. It was freezing, my breathing quickened due to how cold it was. I took a deep breath and sank beneath the water. I didn’t stay under long, my urge to gasp from the cold forcing me to resurface again. My teeth chattered but I persisted. I scrubbed my skin from the dried blood. I washed my face, my hair, and my hands. Washing away all of the bloodshed I'd caused. I didn’t realise it but I was sobbing as I washed. I slipped under the water again, my body now more used to the cold. It was quiet under the surface, muffled and muted from the outside world. My heavy bones felt light floating in the water. But I couldn’t hold my breath forever, I needed to surface at some point and face the world again. That felt all too real. I broke the surface, gulping in air. My body was numb by this point from the cold. I needed to get changed before I got too cold. I stood moving back to the edge, walking out, I dried myself with the towel that Don had brought for me. He was always so thoughtful, and I had pushed him away. Guess I didn’t learn my lesson last time. Luckily I couldn’t push him away so easily, we were in the same company, I had to see him everyday. I got dressed quickly, making my way back up to where Don waited for me. A soft smile formed on his lips seeing me clean again. He opened his mouth to say something but I walked into his chest, wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling him into me. He stayed quiet but wrapped his arms around my back squeezing me.

“I’m so sorry, Don.” I whispered into his neck, “I was being selfish. I pushed you away. But I don’t want to be apart from you.” Tears ran down my cheeks as we held each other still. “I want to remember them with you. I don’t want to forget them.” His hand rubbed up and down my back.

“We will remember them, Em. Those guys will be with us forever.” He said softly into my hair. He knew exactly how to comfort me. I pulled back to smile at him, his thumb brushing away the tears on my cheeks.

“As long as you have me, we won’t forget. And you can’t get rid of me that easily.” He grinned at me, making me laugh tearily.

“I don’t want to get rid of you.” I shook my head. “I’ve decided to keep you, for as long as I can.” He grinned at me nodding his head.

We made our way back to the house. The building was warm due to all the bodies packed into it. I was ready to crash, I had been running on fumes for days. The quiet chatter died when we walked back into the house, I was very aware of all of the eyes watching me. I walked closer to Don trying to hide behind him, but it was no use. I looked down at my feet as we walked, finally making it to where Don had saved a spot for us on the floor. What were they thinking? They had all seen it happen, so surely they all knew about it. Did they hate me now? See me as a monster? I bit my lip nervously, thoughts swirling in my head. Don’s warm hand landed on top of mine, he gave me a reassuring smile. I nodded not needing to speak, we both knew what we were saying without words.

“Do you mind?” Malarkey said loudly turning to the group of men, they all looked away from us, their chatter resuming. I laid down, resting my head on my bag, he pulled the blanket over the both of us, resting beside me.

“Tomorrow will be easier.” He squeezed my hand before rolling over away from me. I fell asleep not long after. Tomorrow will be easier.

#yikes what a chapter #she maybe commit some wr crimes but we will let it slide #maybe she will be the new Speirs of Easy Company #What do we think everyone else is thinking #are they mad at her?#proud?#scared?#band of brothers #band of brothers fanfic #donald malarkey #hbo war #Emarkey #their ship name #thanks to Bucky ❤️

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kaybreezy3000 · 4 months

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Bad Things (Five Hargreeves/Reader)

~Psychopathy is a neuropsychiatric disorder marked by deficient emotional responses, lack of empathy, the inability to distinguish between right and wrong, poor behavioral controls, and behaviors that contradict social norms which then commonly result in persistent antisocial deviance and criminal behavior.

Enter, Five Hargreeves, everyone's favorite little psycho.

(Chapter One and Chapter Two Post)

Summary:

Having been left in a new world with nothing, his mental state growing more and more dangerous, Five Hargreeves finds something he feels will keep him from going off the deep end, but just like in so many things he thinks that are wrong, the fact that he thinks this already proves he has.

Note~The female character is written so that she's part OC but easily filled in as you or reader insert. When we are in Five's side of things, the OC/Reader/You will be referred to as 'her/she/the girl.'

Characters: Number Five, Dolores, unnamed Female OC/Reader insert, Klaus, and Diego

Warnings and tags: Mental disintegration, psychological trauma, effects of isolation, masturbation, non-consensual voyeurism, explicit sexual content, bondage, POV altering, touch starved, obsessive behavior, inanimate object love, and many other sexually deviant themes all mixed with a lovely twist that you will hopefully enjoy...

-comment if you want to be added to tag list (New chapters will be added weekly and this one is 7 chapters total with a Word Count of just under 50K) 😉

Chapter One: Dark Side

Taking the stairs since the elevator is broken and he can no longer teleport at will, Five ambles, step by step, up to his apartment on the seventh floor. For a young man, Five feels so old and not just mentally like he actually is at the cognitive age of sixty.

With no end of world event in the foreseeable future, as incredible as that is, living in Reginald Hargreeves’s ideal version of the world has left Five with next to nothing.

As far as the world’s concerned, Number Five Hargreeves is dead. Normally, that wouldn’t be such a bad thing because Five doesn’t want people to know about him being back, but it is a problem if you’re not dead and you need to find work to feed yourself.

If not for Klaus’s help getting him fake ids and a shitty job doing data entry in the basement of a huge office building, Five wouldn’t even have a roof over his head.

Five’s polished black dress shoes sidestep around piles of trash as he listens to voices of people screaming and yelling at each other behind the worn and dented doors he passes on the way to his own.

He does not live in a nice building or a nice area of the city. His low-income housing is a far cry from the life he’d once lived behind the secretive walls of The Umbrella Academy. His childhood home still exists, though neither he nor any of his siblings are welcome there.

In the new world of Sir Reginald Hargreeves, the status quo remains as it was before, with most having very little, while a very few have a lot. This time Reggie himself has a lot more.

Nearly half the buildings in the city’s skyline bare Five’s adoptive father’s name, but it would do him no good to go to him for help. Luther did, and not even getting allowed to see their dad face to face, he got thrown out on the street by security guards in front of the glamours monstrosity known as The Hargreeves Internation building, which is Reginal's current residence and seat of power.

In this world, the relationship between the world-renowned inventor and his remaining adoptive children was severed years ago, just as it was in their real timeline.

Most of Five’s siblings had places to go though, and that was in part how it was so easy for them to walk away. They still had their various places they crashed at or rented.

For all Five knew, it sounded like Allison still had her life, including her daughter back, but besides that, he knew nothing about her. After turning on them, she didn’t look back. Like with her and most the rest of his family, it had been radio silence when it comes to communication with him since the day that they walked away to move on with their life.

As much as Five needed it in that first year, after everything their father did to them, he vowed he’d never go to him for help again, so he remained dead.

After carefully traversing the disgusting hallway that is the only way to the place that he calls home, entering the one room flat, Five is greeted with the polluted smell of city air blowing in from the window he left open.

He sees Dolores waiting for him. She is still tucked in under the blanket on his bed, just where he left her.

‘I am so glad you're home! ’ she brightly chirps.

Other than her and the sense of love and radiating warmth that Five creates out of her, there is nothing here for him. Five has no one.

There is nothing of color, or personal flair or tasteful decor inside his residence. The furnishings weren’t even picked by him. They were discarded here. They are faded, old, and beaten and used, just like him.

Five feels ancient and worn, but physically he is not. His costly tailored suits are fitted to perfection, and they only make him stand out even more in stark contradiction to everything else within his personal space.

“Hello, Dolores.”

His reply is flat and lifeless, but he can’t help it.

Terribly thirsty, Five crosses the room, moving to his kitchen. He reaches up, taking a milky looking etched glass out of the cabinet, then he places it under the facet at his sink.

Five took the subway most of the way home like he always does, but he still had to walk six long blocks after that. He tips back the entire glass of water he just poured, chugging it in a matter of seconds. He can’t help the bitter taste it leaves in his mouth when he thinks about what he did for his family and the heavy cost he’s paid for it. No matter the amount of time that passes, it never seems to make his resentment fade.

Since being abandoned by his siblings in Oblivion Park the night their lives were given back to them by Allison and Reginald’s collaborative effort to fuck them over, Five has been dealing with the repercussions of his many mistakes and doing it alone. It has taken less than two years for Five to age from a scrawny pubescent thirteen-year-old, to a man in his very early twenties. In this utopian world, The Commission is no more, and the treatments they gave him back when he was theirs have completely run their course and are no longer unnaturally crawling through his body keeping him from aging.

After being plucked from the apocalypse, The Handler wasted no time adding to her strict requirement that he worked exclusively for her despite the fact that his contract didn't say that. She informed Five that since she was the only reason he was saved, not only was he hers, and not just in an advisory capacity, unless he’d prefer to die alone, he’d be undergoing various improvements. Not thinking what that meant, being all that mattered was that he saves himself first so he could save everyone else, he agreed.

The very day he got picked up, after that conversation and being treated to his first real shower in forty years and a real meal that he embarrassingly devoured like the starving man he was, he foolishly started to think things were actually going to be okay for once. Then, with that silly notion still tickling at his brilliant yet still somewhat childlike mind, things changed very quickly.

The Handler informed Five that he was scheduled for operations starting immediately. When he nervously declined, saying he didn’t want them, she tartly replied that she’d be happy to take him back to his wasteland and cockroaches, and that’s when Five realized he held absolutely zero power in the hasty agreement he’d made.

Through her perfectly fluid, red lipped charm, The Handler laced every word she ever had for him with contempt and malicious intent as she continuously threatened him with thinly veiled cruelty. Terrified as if he were a helpless child, though schooling his wrinkled features not to show it, Five followed her like a lost puppy, sickness from the amount of food he’d just eaten adding to his terror as they stripped him naked, then strapped him down to an operating table.

With little explanation other than adjustments were often made, especially to older recruits, Five fought every instinct not to blink himself to safety as he impotently watched the room fade away from the sedative being injected in his arm.

Even if he had blinked or could have at that point, there was nowhere safe for him to go.

Waking in recovery, at first, Five didn’t feel any different. He was extremely sore and bruised, but not different. Not till later was he told he wouldn’t age, being that he’d been given a treatment that would prevent it for many years to come. When it started to wear off, and that would be based on factors they didn’t make known to him, he’d be given more, thus allowing him to continue his service for them indefinitely even though he’d only agreed to a five-year contract.

Five realized that now that they had him, they weren't going to just let him walk away, but still he held on to the hope that he'd figure out how to get back. Defiantly he marched on thinking he'd get the better of them.

Their special therapies made him stronger, more resilient, and he even healed quicker because his metabolism was working much faster than it was before. It all seemed like a good thing.

Five wanted to live.

He had to figure out how to get back to his family and save them and everyone else. He needed time, just a little more time and he’d have it. He was finally strong, not sick, not starving or fighting everyday just to make it to the next.

This was good.

Only it wasn’t.

There was more they did to him that day, only he didn’t know about it till later.

When asked if he could perform the tasks required to work for them, Five had confidently said yes. He told his recruiter that he had killed before.

Through their missions as children, the idea of killing was something that never made him think twice because it was all in the name of good. They were the heroes. Dad had told them they were born extraordinary for a reason. They had a purpose.

Five always thought that the purpose was to help people. Later he realized that was very naïve of him to think because Reginald only had them on missions that benefited him in some way. They did not go around saving the world from the everyday tragedies that were always waiting around every corner.

Not till they ended up in the Sparrow's world and after Reginald drained them to nearly the point of death did Five realize the purpose of them being born the way was so they could be used like extraterrestrial batteries to fuel the reset of the universe.

Just like with The Commission, everything with Sir Reginald Hargreeves was done for a reason and those reasons held many gray areas.

As months passed and his training with his new employer completed, Five found out just what it meant to work in corrections for a time preservation organization whose goal was to maintain what they felt was the generally accepted timeline. Human life meant little to nothing to them on a one-to-one scale. That meant more death. Lots more death.

Each time that Five pulled the trigger or had to take someone’s life, watching the color fade from their purple oxygen-deprived flesh when he squeezed the life out of them, he told himself it was all to get back. When he got back, he’d figure this all out. It would be okay.

It wasn’t okay.

Neither was Five.

Along with their other thoughtful enhancements, The Commission gave him something that would never wear off. By the time he finally was ready to make the enormous jump through time and space to go back to his family, Five was not the same person. He hadn’t been since he woke up on that operating table over four years before. That was because while he was out, they blended his DNA with that of several well-known notoriously brutal serial killers, and it was all in the name of making him a better assassin.

Five had become mercilessly cold, and not the way he was as an arrogant child who thought he was better than everyone. No, this near emotional opposite of snobbery and having any sort of compassion for his fellow man was different.

In four years, he’d killed so many times he’d stopped counting. In the beginning Five still felt it, the remorse, and the nausea when he thought of what he’d done. He’d break down in fits of tears and shuddering sobs when he was alone in his tiny Commission assigned apartment, nearly suffocating from the weight of his shame.

They were killing innocent people and he let them turn him in to the deadly weapon they were using to do it.

By the time Five was done, his mind had altered how he processed things. It happened in part because of the alterations they made to his DNA, but it was also his own survival method, allowing him to continue; to keep waking up and to keep fighting for what he had to see through to the end.

When The Handler gave him a job as she ran her finger condescendingly across his cheek in that wicked way of hers, it let him know that he was nothing more than her pet and her vicious executioner. Five accepted it. He even relished in the peaceful quiet of death and the simplicity of delivering it so efficiently.

The Handler was extremely pleased at how she’d manipulated him so easily. Five knew that, but even knowing he was being used, Five was proud of himself. He savored her praise like the lost child he still was inside. Even old and gray, Five was still the boy who longed to be noticed and loved.

When Five took out the board of directors, he’d done it for her, but he’d also done it for himself. In that moment, his mind was on another level of depraved, finding joy in the sick pleasure he felt as the blade of his ax sliced through their flesh and the spray of the warm blood spattered his face.

Even before that happened, Five had lied to Luther when he told him he didn’t enjoy it and that’s because he was trying to pretend that he was the person he wished he still was.

Even as he lied, Five's words came out lack of any emotion, dead and toneless. Luther didn’t seem to notice. Like the rest of his family, they didn’t know him anymore. They had no idea how different their dad's Number Five had become, and they didn’t seem to care to know him, though all Five had ever wanted was to get them back.

Five was aware that killing was one of the only things that made him feel alive, but he was too focused on trying to save the world to dwell on it. Everything kept falling apart and with more important things on his mind, he simply didn't have time to think about it.

Now there was time.

Turning from his sink, Five walks back to the sole armchair in the middle of the space that serves as his living room. He slips off his black suit jacket, draping it over the back.

‘I missed you,’ Dolores says, her voice in his mind so hopeful. Five glances her way but can’t keep her eye.

His reply comes almost too quietly to hear. “I missed you too.”

Purposefully avoiding her, Five wanders over to his small kitchen table. He didn’t even bother to turn on the light when he entered his apartment. This entire time it’s been dark, save for the dim light filtering in from his two small windows.

Pulling out the single chair, he sits down on the cracked vinyl cushion, dropping his head in his hands as he thinks about what he is doing.

Looking up after a minute of trying to get his head straight but failing, Five’s eyes train on the widow in front of him. His nicotine yellowed curtains wave gently from the air moving in. Beyond his window, across the alley, the occupant of the adjacent apartment is home. Five knew she would be, that’s why he left the lights off. It’s also why he left his window open.

He can hear her voice. It’s faint as she talks on her phone, but Five can hear it and make out parts of what she’s saying.

She’s talking about work like she often is.

The girl comes to the window dressed in her uniform from the job she works at during the day. She dumps the water from her watering can in the flower box attached to the sill.

Five knows that she can’t see him, but he doesn’t move a muscle anyway. He holds his breath.

She’s so close.

He could almost touch her.

Five can see her hair flutter in the wind before she laughs at something the person on the line must have said, then she leans back inside after plucking off a few dead buds, flicking them to the ground below.

The girl is young, similar in that she’s not much younger or older than Five's physical age. At his mental age, she is not someone he should be interested in. She is not someone Five should be watching like this, not that he should be watching anyone, but like so many things about himself that can’t control, he is interested in her.

Everything about her is animated and full of life.

She’s the opposite of him.

Five is almost completely empty and deeply numb inside.

His fascination with her is in part because of that. He’s aware of this on some level, but he also realizes it’s for other reasons.

Bad reasons.

The immorality of doing this is almost no more than a ghost in his mind at this point. The more it happens, the less Five cares that it’s wrong.

Everything about him is wrong so why torture himself about one more thing?

With a dull, lifeless expression washing over his features, Five continues staring out, analyzing her every move as she moves about her small apartment.

‘You can’t keep doing this. You need help,’ Dolores warns sharply, the same way she’s been saying it since he started this, the same way she says it every night.

“I don’t need help, Dolores. I appreciate your concern, but I am fine,” Five grumbles back, not bothering to turn towards her, or finishing by lying to her again, telling her that it’s just a diversion, and it’s nothing more.

Normally, when he comes home, Five would feel something when he sees the long-time love of his life. He still does, but the more he watches this girl, the less he’s been able to pretend with Dolores like he always has. It disturbs him but he can’t stop.

‘You aren’t eating enough, and you didn’t sleep again last night. I am so worried about you. I love you,’ she adds with that sound of unsuppressed fear in her voice that’s been getting worse and worse when Five comes in late, zombie-like after being gone at work all day and then wakes up acting almost exactly the same way.

Though it hurts him to do it, Five ignores her, pretending he didn't hear. Brushing the curtains aside even more, he lets himself become fully engrossed in the life across the alley.

Not long after being left by his family, Five had gone to Dolores, finding her standing tall on her pedestal in the used clothing store. As much as he wanted to, he didn’t take her then, that didn’t happen till later. He tried so hard to be normal and he knew that having her with him wouldn’t help in that endeavor.

After months of hardly hanging on, sleeping at Viktor’s some nights, on the streets others, then finally scratching enough pennies to get by, Five finally got his own place. Here in this hell hole, Five found that his new chance at living a real life was not at all what he’d thought it would be.

This time the idea of retirement and hitting the road to find his next big ball of twine left Five unbearably uneasy. He couldn’t let himself give into the childlike notions he had before.

Five had nothing. He couldn’t retire. Even if Klaus had wanted to drag him along to find their birth parents or something else pointless again, Five wouldn’t have let himself be tricked into it this time.

Last time that happened, he’d had this strange glimmer of hope light up his heart. He hadn’t felt that in so long. It was like getting to see the light at the end of the tunnel, but it was viciously stripped from him again by impending death taking everything and sucking it into the mother fucker of black holes.

Five was left in the dark again.

Now Five found himself feeling as alone in a world filled with people as he did in a world alone. He couldn’t figure out how to fit into society and that humiliating failure had him withdrawing inside himself even more.

He tried to hold on to his usual anger, pretending it wasn’t his fault but even that failed him because he knew on every level that it was his fault.

The isolation finally became too much for him, he snuck into the back room of that department store where Dolores lived. Not till the shop closed did he come out of hiding and steal her out of there, long legs and all.

She’s been with him again ever since, providing the love and comfort she always has. Only until one night, when Five saw the girl next door, Dolores had been enough to keep him satisfied and not feeling so alone. Since discovering this girl, a dangerous and obsessive pattern has developed.

Every night when Five comes home, well after dinnertime, he leaves the light off so he can go to the table and watch the female occupant of the next building. She rarely shuts her blinds, and when she does, it’s not all the way. She may think nobody lives across from her because Five is gone all day and at night, even when he’s there, it looks like he’s not.

She may not care if someone is watching her, and that idea alone helps Five justify what he’s doing. That flawed perception of things is also making it easier for other thoughts to invade his already very fractured mind.

It started innocently enough. Curiosity mostly. She was pretty. Five told himself that it was normal to be drawn to beautiful things. She held odd hours, but she was almost always home for a few hours before bed when Five had nothing and no one else other than Dolores. To him, it felt like it was on purpose.

She’d either be home already or he’d get to watch her come in from one job, change for another, eat, shower, and go again. She’d water her flowers that hung in a box outside her window and then Five would get to be even closer to her. She’d even leave her windows open most nights, and Five would do the same, furthering the connection he feels is growing stronger with her.

Five believes that he knows this girl on an intimate level. He knows her name and where she works, and many other things about her.

This relationship is becoming real to him; as real as it is with Dolores.

Stepping out of what Five has determined is her bathroom, the girl bends down to pick up the towel that just slipped off her head. In doing so, Five gets a much better few of her ass that’s only covered by her very small underwear. If she’d just turn around, he’d see her breasts.

“Fuck,” he whispers, “please turn around, for me.”

She doesn’t, but Five’s right hand moves between his legs anyway. It always goes something like this. It starts as simple, silent watching, then as he justifies his actions with things that are entirely imagined, Five’s already defunct rationale dissolves completely.

Five rubs his palm over the tip of his partial erection as it sits in a raised silhouette covered by the thin wool material covering his lap. Reacting to the pleasure of his own hand, Five spreads his legs wider, his fingers better working the hardening length as his lips slowly part to better accommodate his heavier breathing.

Five knows he could simply watch porn to take care of this perplexing and intensifying desire to be with someone real. It’s not like he’s opposed to it, it's just that this private show is for him and only him. This is special.

In his mind, the more he watches, the more he feels like this girl is part of his life, and that is the thing that he needs the most even though he can’t see the truth of it anymore. Intense denial and the refusal to see that he needs help, all comes from years of using this pattern to survive. It was even this way when Five was a child. Now it’s much worse and it’s fueling this fantasy, making him blind to the reality of what he is doing.

Five spends most of his days in a blur without sensation, existing but not living. But, deep down in a place he can’t open again, Five longs for something that he's only ever allowed himself to dream of.

Now, after everything that’s happened to him, Five is so broken he doesn’t know how to be with someone real which is making that dream feel impossible. He tells himself that it never really was possible; he's always been broken. This is all there ever will be. Just the idea of trying to open himself means letting someone inside and risking them seeing what he really is, and he can’t let that happen.

Five believes that he is nothing more now than a cold-blooded psychotic killer, living a meaningless life.

He can’t escape what he is, and he can’t go back to change it.

There is no one that can help him, and no one that would want to help him if they knew the truth about him.

This, what he is doing with this girl, is easier. It’s his only option. Five thinks he’s in control of it, just like with Dolores. Watching and touching himself like this, it’s enough. He won’t do more.

Five craves control and with this, he has it.

Now that he has her, Five is not alone. She is real, living and breathing. Five can even imagine the soft feel of her skin as he runs his hands up and down her smooth looking legs. He can feel her warmth on him, rubbing against his cock as he comes up behind her, wrapping his arms around her in a dominant yet affectionate embrace.

Wanting to tease her, Five smiles a little and says, “I bet you just couldn’t wait for me to get home. You love me, and you love it when I do this to you, don’t you…”

In Five’s head, she giggles a yes.

The girl flips her head down, blow-drying her locks. Again, the view isn’t bad. She dropped the towel around her and put her bra on while inside the bathroom where Five couldn’t see it. He didn’t get the full show he’d been hoping for, but she’s still a sight in her matching set of very feminine undergarments. Five can feel his hands roaming over her, the delicate filigree stitch of the lace fabric the only thing keeping him from having all of her.

Teeth studding into his lower lip, Five unzips himself, pulling the heat between his legs free so he can grip the girth tight. Heels digging into his linoleum floor, his lips twist with a dark delight as his eyes narrow.

She is all his.

The girl flips her head back up, straightening herself as she shuts off the hair dryer and starts putting on her makeup. Five imagines himself shoving her up against the small, cluttered counter in front of her.

She drops her head back against him, moaning his name the moment she feels his bare flesh pressing against her in that way that means he's seeking more than just to rub himself on her.

She likes that too, but Five knows that she wants all of him tonight.

Licking his lips, his eyes trained on her body, Five’s voice comes out sweetly menacing. “I am going to fuck to till you scream.”

She arches into him again.

Five’s hand works his cock, spreading his pre-cum under his fingers, but it’s not enough to let his hand slip and slide and he doesn’t care. He likes to jerk himself hard and with no regard for being gentle about it. Pain and pleasure are the only things that make Five feel these days and this will give him both fixes.

Five desperately wants to feel.

“I love your perfect tits,” he grates out through clenched teeth. Then, in his head, he leans over, biting into the soft flesh of her shoulder as he suddenly fucks up into her from behind. He’s railing her hard and fast, and in his mind, she loves it as much as he does.

Or maybe she doesn’t and that’s exciting too even though Five knows that is wrong. It really doesn’t matter, because it’s up to him to decide, just like it always is with Dolores. With his cock in hand as the muscles in his calves flex and burn while his heels squeak across his floor, it’s all up to him and him alone how he finds his pleasure.

Five is mentally and physically free to be the vile creature he is with no judgment and no fear of rejection.

A thin sheen of sweat on his brow, Five grunts as he aggressively pumps his cock. His ass cheeks squeeze and contract as his hips jut upwards into his own hand.

When the sound of the girl’s ringtone plays out, sending an upbeat song blaring, she drops her mascara on the counter and picks it up. Whatever the caller tells her, abruptly causes her to alter her usual nightly routine. Normally she’d be home for another hour getting ready, but instead, she hangs up, comes out in her bedroom area and haphazardly throws on her clothes and rushes out the door, leaving Five literally hanging.

Hanging on to himself that is, with no more eye candy to get off on.

The moment she’s gone, the reality of what he’s doing threatens to swallow him whole. Just the idea of having to face it has Five’s hand slowing and his heart clenching in the start of a panic attack.

No, no, no, no…

“I am not-" Five’s words stick as his mouth fills with the thickness of his mortifying disgrace trying to choke him.

His hands both come up, yanking at his tie as if it’s the thing stripping him of his ability to breathe.

Five feels like he is drowning. His once revered mind feels like it's breaking in two as it's being flooded with shame and hate.

He does not want to be this person.

‘Five, it’s okay.’ Dolores calls out to him, trying to help bring him back from the dark surrounding him. ‘I am here. We will figure this out! Please, sweetheart, just come to me. It will be okay. We can make it okay again.’

Dragging himself out of his chair, Five goes to Dolores. Once next to his bed, with blurry eyes looking down at her, he kicks off his pants and underwear, then rolls himself over on his side, burying his face against the cool hard skin at her neck.

“I am so sorry, darling. You are the only one that has ever loved me… I am so sorry I am doing this to you. I hate this,” he cries, the air heaving out of him as he reaches down under the blankets, taking himself in hand again.

With more wet gasps, his free hand runs soft and tenderly up and down under Dolores’s blouse, trying to show how much he loves her in the way he handles her painted flesh. Five whispers apologies and words of love as he finishes himself, part thrusting and part still using his hand, while moving himself up against her solid and unforgiving leg.

Five may be laying with the mannequin that is the loyal love of his life, pouring his love out to her, but in his mind, images of the girl across the alley play over and over again.

Chapter Two: I feel So Close

Like usual, the next morning, Five finds himself awake way too early. He hardly slept again. It’s hours before his alarm goes off for work. He is bare assed with only his dress shirt on, laying with his face settled on top of the unforgiving shape of Dolores’s hard chest.

Drowsily stretching his legs under the blankets, he cuddles in tighter, unwilling to open his eyes but also unable to turn his overactive brain off. Then, as sleep further evades him, he begins to remember what happened the night before.

Five’s hand glides up Dolores’s arm, coming up to her face so he can gently run his fingers across her cheek the way she likes.

‘Good morning, Five ,’ she coos back to his tender show of affection.

Peeking at her from under the fringe of his ruffled hair, Five does his best to smile when their eyes meet, but it comes off uncertain because he feels so bad for what he did.

Five never wanted to be a cheater, but Dolores has told him time and time again that she wants him to find someone who can be there for him in ways that she can't, and if he did, it wouldn't be cheating. The problem is this is not what she meant. It’s throwing his dysfunction and failure in her face when all she has done for the last forty-one years is support him. Then, after making her watch another one of his many falls from grace, he’s got the balls to come to her as a whimpering mess, going even more dysfunctional when he sets about selfishly dirtying her thighs and her pretty new skirt with his traitorous seed.

“I am so sorry,” Five quietly breathes, sounding so discouraged.

Already his free hand is inspecting the damage under the blankets. It's not like he hasn't done these kinds of sexual things with Dolores before, it's just last night was wrong on too many levels. Dolores can do nothing for herself, and his intense shame over the way he used her and his innate need to take care of her has Five quickly untangling himself from her body.

‘It’s okay.’

“It’s not,” he replies on the way to the bathroom to get soapy washcloths.

Once inside, Five accidentally catches a glimpse of himself in the mirror and just that makes his chest hurt.

“You fucking, pathetic bastard,” he mumbles, cursing himself as he goes about getting the supplies he needs to help bring some dignity back to his helpless partner.

Coming back to bed, he sets his things down on the nightstand and then picks up his own rumpled dress pants off the floor. He zips himself in, trying not to think about when he unzipped last night, but it’s impossible not to.

Eyes on Dolores, he rolls the comforter back and starts cleaning her. Once he has her legs shiny and cleansed, Five glances across the room to the nearest window. Behind the fluttering curtain, he knows the girl is still laying in her bed. With even more remorse threatening to pull him under, he looks down at Dolores.

“I’ll change you into some fresh clothes, strip the bedding, and then you and I can make breakfast together, and I’ll read to you till I have to go?” Five says it as a question, sounding so hopeful she won’t reject his attempt to try to be the man he used to be for her.

‘That would be perfect, sweetheart. I would love that.’ As soon as her reply processes in his mind, it instantly makes him feel better.

Five makes good on his offer, other than his own shower, he spends the quiet pre-dawn hours at her side. He’s sure to right the rest of the wrongs from the night before by dressing her in the next best thing he has for her, then he remakes their bed with fresh linens and blankets, and carefully tucks Dolores in so she’s comfortable as she waits for his return.

After leaning in and kissing her on her cool rosy cheek, Five leaves for the day, dressed in his usual all black three-piece suit paired with a fitted white dress shirt and black tie.

Feeling a little more like himself and that he can make it through another day, Five’s smile before walking out the door is real and full of so much love. “Thank you for loving me. You are all I need,” he says in his head, doing his best to will it true, but it’s sadly not.

Like so many times he’s lied to himself, Five tries very hard to change this new pattern of giving into his darker urges, but as the week progresses, he can’t help but fall victim again to his inappropriate indulgence.

The rest of the week, he manages to achieve his nightly end goal of blissful release without falling into another dark hole of mortification like he did after peeping on the girl on Monday night. Five’s success not wallowing in utter misery is not good in that it only further ingrains his deviant behavior and his fantasy that there’s something building between him and the stranger across the alley.

--------------------------

Friday after work, Five is sitting in his armchair, disdainfully eyeing his brother as he goes about, snooping around his small apartment. Five lets out a sharp sigh, then tipping his head back, he takes a drink of the extremely delicious coffee that Klaus used as an excuse to drop by.

"I know you haven't talked to Diego in a while, but I saw him last week and he told me that he's still been keeping an eye on our dear old alien dad."

Every time Klaus pays him a visit this topic comes up and every time Five refuses to take the bait. "Diego should stop trying to play superhero. He should just let it rest. Dad got what he wanted. He's got the world by the balls and even though we mean nothing to him, he let us live. Story over."

"I don't know, man. Diego said that Lila has been looking into things with him lately and there's something weird going on of there at the Hargreeves International building. Like more than an alien overlord hanging out in his penthouse basking in how small all of us insignificant humans look down here on the ground."

Five couldn't look more like he doesn't give a shit, so Klaus moves on to other things on his agenda. “So, work is good, things are going well then?” Klaus asks, leaning over Five's bed to give a tress hanging from Dolores’s wig a twirl.

Loathing the way Klaus is touching her, Five’s face melts into a purely sinister looking leer, but his brother doesn’t seem to get the hint and keeps on with it, twirling away.

“You could care less about my work or if I enjoy it. And it’s not that I don’t appreciate good coffee, but you don’t need to stop by and check on me. You haven’t felt the need to pay me regular visits up until recently and nobody else in our family of idiot misfit toys gives a damn, so you are welcome to join them in that if you are simply coming by to try and piss me off, which you are.”

Five defiantly cocks his chin the same time one of his shoulders rises in that uncontrollable mad tick of his as he gears up for the rest of his dismissal.

“In case you forgot, I am a grown man and I have been taking care of myself almost my entire life. I don’t need a fucking babysitter,” he bites out, teeth bared.

Klaus nods, his lips pursing as he thinks for a second. “Yeah, all true. But you are pretty damn young to be living all alone like this.” He smirks. “Well, sort of.”

“I know your miniscule brain can't comprehend this, but I am not a child, and I am not alone!” Five defends much too loudly and quickly, his sneer transforming into a deep frown instead.

After that excessive outburst, both Klaus and Five look at Dolores. Klaus dips closer to her and whispers something. Five can’t help but internally curse himself as he watches his brother openly taunting him. He knows it’s pointless to let Klaus rattle him, but he can’t help it. Everything is setting him off lately. One of the reasons he prefers to be alone is to avoid things like this.

Five’s already very small world is closing in around him more and more each day and the worst part is that he is accepting it.

Shifting in his chair, Five’s clammy hand comes up to his silk tie, fidgeting with it. Just having Klaus in his apartment is making it feel harder for him to breathe and he knows that’s irrational but it’s true all the same.

In Five’s mind, Dolores is looking back at him with her customary expression of agitation that she saves for when he’s doing something she’s not okay with, yet the reality is, her face always remains that of pleasant neutrality.

Lately, Five hasn’t been able to connect to her on the same intimate level he has been for most his life, but his troubled mind hasn’t given up on using Dolores as an outlet to try to get through to him. Though she is not real, Dolores is still where Five keeps what’s left of his heart, and she is his lifeline just like she always has been.

I want him to go, Five tells her in their way that needs no words.

‘You know that your brother was not in the best shape when he first got here. It’s not Klaus’s fault he wasn’t able to be around more. He had things to figure out too. Relax, sweetheart. Just take your deep breaths like we talked about. He’s just trying to be nice,’ she gently offers, trying to calm Five down.

Since Klaus is back to messing with Dolores’s hair, he doesn’t notice the look of fear in Five’s eyes as he stares at her, or that he’s desperately trying to do as she said and take long deep breaths to reign in this feeling of impending doom that’s looming over him.

“It’s not that I don’t believe that you are fine,” Klaus goes on, “it’s just I can’t help but feel like you need to get out, you know… Like join the world of the living a little more now that you can.”

Five’s fingers clench on the arm of his chair but he manages to keep his voice level and his expression blank by the time Klaus looks his way again. “I do get out,” he flatly replies.

Klaus laughs. “I don’t mean going to work or picking up takeout.”

Unable to maintain his façade of cool, nervously bending forward, Five’s free hand grips tightly at his knee. “Look, Klaus, these little interrogation visits of yours are a blast and all but if there is nothing else that you’d like to talk about, then you can kindly see yourself to the door because I have more important things to do.”

“Like what?”

Five doesn’t respond and that’s because he doesn’t have anything to do. Well, not anything that he is going to admit to Klaus anyway. Speaking of which, Five raises his arm, anxiously drawing his cuff up enough to see his watch.

The girl should be home by now.

She is waiting for him. He heard her telling someone on the phone this week that she has this entire weekend off. Five has been looking forward to this rare break in her busy work schedule ever since because now he won’t be alone the next two days.

It takes everything Five has not to get up and go check on her, but he refuses to even look over at his window while Klaus is there.

An ache like need to get his brother out as soon as possible has Five’s jaw tensing as he tries to think of how best to do it. Just thinking about missing his chance to spend time with the girl has Five fighting to keep his knees from bouncing. He's about to come flying up out of his chair and physically throw Klaus out on his ass.

'Just breathe,' Dolores reminds him.

Trying to listen and just relax but with his nerves still getting the best of him, Five looks extremely bothered when he finally comes up with his lame answer, but at least he is not going postal on the one remaining family member that actually remembers he exists.

“I am trying to finish a book due back at the library, and I’d like to do it before bed, so…” he reports with a jittery looking rolling of his hand, implying it's time for Klaus to move on.

To that, Klaus flamboyantly flaps his arms up, beaming ear to ear like he’s got the best idea ever.

“Hey, you can finish your boring book later this weekend. It’s Friday, why don’t you come with me, and we go out for a night on the town! Let your super cool big brother show you a good time, I’ll even pay, and I know all the best places. There’s this one club that has these naughty cage dancers and I know from what Luther told me from our Dallas stint that you like to watch the sexy lad-”

“You are not my big brother!” Five snaps, interrupting him. “I am older than you by nearly thirty years and something tells me that your idea of a good time is not even close to mine, so no thank you. I am fine, so stop acting like I am some kind of freak of the family that you need to check in on every few weeks so you don’t find me hanging from a rope in my closet!”

Instead of getting the picture that he is only making Five feel even more uncomfortable about his disastrous life, Klaus flops down on the bed, making himself more at home.

Wishing he could spatial jump, and even worse still having the instinctual reaction to try to but coming up empty handed, Five grates his teeth in extreme frustration, then abruptly stands up, violently crushing his empty coffee cup before he chucks it over in the kitchen sink.

Klaus can clearly see the very irate, no longer boney thirteen-year-old, ex-teleporting assassin, yet still very much a ball of rage version of Number Five Hargreeves coming for him. Even though he himself can die permanently just like everyone else, he obviously isn’t frightened by his brother because he continues snuggling in and fussing over Dolores, trying to style her glued on hair in a more tousled look.

Standing over him at the side of the bed, Five swats Klaus’s hand off his beloved mannequin’s shoulder.

“Stop touching her!”

Klaus holds his hand as if Five actually hurt him, even doing an overdone pout to add to his show of disappointment. “Five, this is exactly why you need to get out more. Dolores is great and all and I know you love her, but everyone needs someone a little more… Aah-uhm, you know.”

“REAL!”

Five’s voice is too loud, his heart is hammering, and his nerves are shot. He needs Klaus to leave. More and more when his brother stops by, it’s things like this. It feels like everything said is to remind him how fucked-up he is and how his life isn’t even a life.

“Five,” Klaus sighs his name, not at all fazed by him yelling, “ever since we got here, I am scared you’re becoming a very lost soul and that’s getting worse as the days go by. Now that you are free and you don’t have a world to save or an evil taskmaster from The Commission to tell you what to do, you’ve been hiding deeper and deeper inside yourself. I know this kind of thing, man. I have seen it and I’ve lived through some pretty fucked up episodes of depression. I can help you, and as a spiritual leader, you should know that I helped a lot of lost people find inner peace. The way we grew up, and then being a hitman and living a lifetime alone the way you did, it would mess anyone up. I just want to help is all.”

“Do you want me to feel worse about this? Is that what this is!” Five throws a shaking hand back over his dark hair, yanking it out of his eyes. With his hand landing on the back of his neck, nails digging in, he begins to pace.

Klaus sits up, his smile gone the moment he realizes that his brother is actually getting really upset compared to his normal kind of upset.

“Five, that is not at all what I am trying to do. I just want you to be happy. You are so alone, man. It can't be good.”

Five stops, spinning on his heel as he shoots death daggers back at Klaus. “I may be a freak as far as the world’s concerned, but the world can fuck off. Just stay out of it. I am not alone, and I AM FINE!”

Raising his hands in a placating gesture, Klaus tries to lighten the mood again. “I am so happy you are good and all that.”

Klaus gently shrugs, biting his lip, giving away that he is aware what he’s going to say next probably isn’t going to get the reaction he’s hoping for, but he says it anyway.

“Maybe you need just a little something else to add to all your good, is all I am saying. It doesn’t have to be going out and trying to make friends or getting thick into the enigmatic world of dating. I get that one is a complicated cookie being you are twenty-ish going on sixty or whatever, but what the chicks or guys don’t know about you won’t hurt them. Just don’t talk about all that.” Klaus grins and winks. “Unless you do go for the hurting thing, you dirty old bastard. There are clubs we can go to for that too.” Looking at Dolores he adds, “I bet Fivey loves to spank that sweet ass now that you’ve got one.”

“Fuck you,” Five growls.

Klaus keeps smiling at Dolores. “I guess that means no cute Fivey daddy kink for you, gorgeous. Too bad.”

“Stop talking to her!”

Klaus looks totally thrown. “Why, you talk to her?”

“Because she’s mine, you shithead!” Five barks back, not sure what else to say about his extreme distress over this simple visit and he’s already regretting saying that because it only makes him sound even more nuts.

“Come on Five… Just chill out. I am just joking around. You need more of that. I also think you could use a little spice in your love life, even if that means just right here at home in your own little safe world of just you, your hand and this lovely lady and any other lady or guys that you’re secretly pining over in that genius but gloriously debauched mind of yours.”

Stunned at his brother’s latest comment that is hitting too close to home, Five can’t help turning his body just enough so he can look over at the girl’s apartment.

“Not out in the scary world of real people, I mean,” Klaus tries to correct, not realizing that Five is misconstruing what he just said, thinking he was talking about the girl next door and what he’s already doing with her.

Biting back another curse, Five narrows his eyes at Klaus, part in fury and part in embarrassed confusion because the girl’s lights are on, meaning she is home, and he feels like his brother is seeing right through him.

“How about instead of spending all your money on all these sexy suits that you have more than enough of already, you spend some money on a really nice blow-up doll. Or even just something that vibrates or something else exciting that has a little more give and play to it.”

As Klaus spits out his brilliant idea, his smile expands, and it matches Five’s wide eyes.

“Get a flesh-light,” he cheerfully suggests, “or you can adjust things with your new and improved big boobs love hole inflatable and add some Velcro to her hands or something else creative so she can give you a little affection back in the way of loving plastic arms wrapped around you while you hump the fuck out of her. We all need a hug, buddy.”

With that, Klaus stands and puts his hands out acting like he’s going to hug Five, but just as fast, Five steps back out of his reach, looking utterly appalled.

Again, not getting it, his brother offers a silly smile as he shakes a finger at him. “Settle down over there, old-man kiddo. You know what I mean… I am just talking about something a little more stimulating. You must be so horny and bored in here that you are going insane.” Klaus’s smile falters as he takes in Five’s tiny home and lack of anything in it in the way of character or signs of life. “You deserve more, buddy,” he finishes, the sadness he feels for Five seeping into his tone even though he’s trying to smile still.

“The last thing I want, or need, is for you or anyone to feel sorry for me,” Five seethes while jamming his hands in his pockets. His eyes move to the floor as he battles within himself to control the surge of desire to lash out both verbally and physically. Keeping his brother safe from either of those things, Five swiftly motions for Klaus to go. “Just go,” he nearly whispers because he's trying so hard to hide the quiver in his voice.

“Five?” Klaus tries.

“NO! I am done! I have done enough for you and everyone. Just leave me alone!”

Five yells it so loud, Klaus flinches. “I am sorry, I wasn’t trying to upset you. I am sorry about everything. I am just worried.”

“Don’t be. I am happy,” Five lies. He looks up a few seconds after saying that, his face again the usual mask of indifference, but Klaus can see right through it and wishes so badly he had seen it sooner.

Not knowing what else to do that won’t anger Five more, Klaus moves to the door. “Fine… I get it. I am a dumbass, and you don’t need anyone, but I am here for you, man. I am sorry I haven’t always been there to listen, but I am now.”

“Sure,” Five says, before shutting the door on Klaus.

-----------------------------

Five slaps down the deadbolt, then flips the lights off.

“That fucking, fucker !” he mumbles as he swiftly moves across the small space to the kitchen window.

With a huge sigh of relief, he sees the girl must have just got out of the shower. He didn’t miss it. The anticipation of that addictive rapture she provides is already settling Five down and also revving him up as he lowers his body into his favorite viewing chair.

Just as Five is thinking that he can escape into his perfect place, with her towel wrapped around her and wet hair dangling down her back, he watches as she suddenly spins around from her bathroom sink and then rushes out into her bedroom area. It appears that she is frantically looking for something. Her head pops up several times looking towards her front door, then as if giving up, she slowly walks over to it.

When she opens it, Five is greeted with an unwelcome sight.

“Who the fuck is that?”

Not able to understand at first, and obviously not getting an answer to his question, Five leans over his table for a better look. His girl just let some guy in her apartment. And she did it while in nothing more than her bath towel!

“No,” Five whimpers when he sees her smile at this asshole in the beaming way that he believes is something she only deploys for their interactions. She smiles like that when she’s laughing about something or dancing around her apartment loudly singing while she cleans, and none of these things have anything to do with him, but Five is too gone to see that.

Watching her sauntering off to her bathroom as the other guy is also hungrily watching it, has Five gritting his teeth. His fingernails dig into the palms of his hands. Though he doesn’t want to believe it, now that this other guy is there, Five is piecing together that she is not prancing like that for him.

"It never was for you," a seductively cruel version of her voice tickles through his mind.

"Yes it was!" he growls back, unwilling to give up on his dream.

There’s even more burning pain as his neatly clipped nails carve half-moons into his flesh. His hands start to violently shake at his sides.

The girl says something to the guy then she shuts the bathroom door, blocking both Five and this new guy out.

As soon as she’s gone, her visitor starts meandering around her tiny place like he owns it, but Five is certain that he’s never been there before. He’s going about it not at all unlike what Klaus just did to Five, only the girl is entirely unaware of it.

The creep digs through her things, including her underwear drawer, taking a pair, and hiding them in his inner jacket pocket. Then he opens another drawer, pulling out a small jar that Five has seen handled by the girl many times. He greedily digs in, helping himself to the girl’s hard earned tip money that she saves all week to pay for her groceries.

Five’s entire body is vibrating he is so mad.

“I am going to fucking kill you, you piece of shit!” he hisses, eyes locked on the guy as he carefully studies his every move, learning any of his potential weaknesses.

Five easily determines this guy is an easy hit, no weapon other than his hands will be needed to end him. Five can already feel himself snapping this guy’s fat neck. There is no way he is going to let him get away with stealing from his girl. Coming over to take her out is one thing, and that’s bad enough, but taking her underwear without her permission! That means death and Five is going to happily deliver it.

During Five’s near manic episode of having mental and verbal conversations with himself, and also justifying reasons for killing this guy, he is conveniently forgetting the fact that he’s been watching her without permission and taking sexual liberties for himself from her body without her knowledge. With the way his mind has been working lately, it’s not at all the same thing. This guy has her trust and he’s in her home. Five would never violate her like the way this guy just did. He’d never even touch her let alone her things.

Focusing on the kill, a rush of adrenaline-fueled hatred brings that calm before the storm feeling that settles like an old familiar friend into Five’s mind and limps. His trembling fingers steady.

When his girl comes out of the bathroom she’s dressed in a flowy little skirt and a tight fit top with a unbuttoned cropped sweater over it. She goes straight to the guy with that adorably beautiful and innocent look on her face, and that manages to crack Five’s newly composed homicidal state of poise. He’s never seen her in anything that nice. Why doesn't she wear that stuff for him?

She lets the guy take her hand, leading the way as they disappear out the door.

It takes everything Five has not to spring into action and race out the door to follow them. He knows that doing that will only result in one thing, and that one thing is going to be bloody and brutal, but it would feel so good to see her date bleed.

To do that, Five would have to trail them, waiting for just the right moment. The idea of doing that brings back so many memories of his time with The Commission. It’s both sickening and sweet. He knows he could do it without anyone seeing. The girl wouldn’t even have to know. It would be perfect. But…

Fuck.

Even though this is what he was made to do, something feels wrong.

He’s never gone so far as to take this obsession with the girl outside of his apartment and hers. This is their special place, their own private world. But out there…

“It’s not real! She’s not yours!” his mind screams at him.

Five is all at once beside himself with how to process this unwanted mental intrusion.

That’s not true. She is real. What they have is real, his mind corrects. Him being a coldhearted killer is sadly real, but he hasn’t hurt anyone since he’s been in this timeline. He promised himself that he wouldn’t. He doesn’t need to anymore.

Five wants it to be real with this girl so badly and he wants to kill this guy just as much.

But none of it is real.

Deep down, Five knows that he has no right to feel this way.

“FUCK!” he screams in pure anguish, his hands coming up to his face, fingers digging in as his eyes slam shut. “Why are you doing this!”

The question comes out of his mouth, but it’s just as much for him as it is for her. Five can’t reason what’s happening to him or why she’d be with a guy like that over staying here with him. He’s not a good person, but he’d never…

Five’s voice comes out broken and quiet. “God, damn it.”

Yes, Five is a highly skilled executioner and absolutely thrumming with excitement over the idea of murdering this guy, but then the reality of what he himself has done to this girl is being thrown up in his face. Five’s insides are revolting against him and that’s because he has abused the girl too. He didn’t steal from her, but yet, he did.

Five may be experiencing an extremely dangerous dissociation from reality and doing so more and more as the days go by, but what happened with Klaus earlier and this mental battle with himself now proves that he’s still aware on some level of what he’s doing.

He knows it’s wrong.

He is wrong.

Again, that overwhelming hatred threatens to take his breath away. Five’s vision starts to flood with murky blackness coming at him from all sides. It’s hitting him hard and fast this time. He blindly reaches for the chair in front of him just in time to prevent himself from tumbling all the way down to the floor.

In a heap, eyes misting from terrified tears, Five folds in on himself, wrapping his arms around his legs. His heart feels like it could burst right out of his chest.

“No, no, no,” he whispers in his downward spiraling mantra as he rocks back and forth. This time as Five slips away inside his own personal hell, not even Dolores is able to pull him back.

He can no longer hear her. It’s nothing but ash, blood, and regret.

-------------------------------------

Hours later, sitting at his table in the dark, Five brings his glass to his lips. The caramel-colored liquid isn't even giving him that delightful burn anymore as it glides down his throat. As if in slow motion, his blurred eyes drop to his hands.

They don’t feel like they are his.

They are, but they aren’t.

No matter how long he is in this new, younger version of himself, Five’s mind can’t weave together the new face in the mirror with the person he sees in his mind. When he was this age, he was not in good shape, but he was not this demon going around masquerading as a human.

Seeing that his glass is empty again, Five reaches for his bottle of cheap whiskey with the intention of pouring himself more, but he’s denied for a second time tonight in his only remaining vice and that’s because there isn’t any left. It doesn’t really matter because Five already feels completely dead inside and it’s not the bad liquor making him numb.

When the girl and guy come bursting into her apartment not long later, Five is still sitting there in the dark extremely inebriated.

It appears from Five’s point of view that the creep’s mouth and hands are all over her in a very heated embrace. Five sits silent and still, watching as the girl stumbles backwards, her hand flailing out as if she’s surprised by her date's display of reckless desire for her. Then the guy forcefully kicks her door closed behind them, he swiftly scoops her up and he throws her down on the couch.

Five can’t even feel the rage, or the hate, or even the shame that he had before. He wishes so badly that he could, but it’s gone like the rest of him.

It appears to Five that the girl’s shithead boyfriend just manhandled her, but as far as he can tell, it looks like she’s totally into it.

The guy is on top of her in a flash, blocking Five from seeing her face as he pins her legs under his and he shoves her shirt up.

Five’s eyes fall on her beautiful bare skin, mesmerized with the quick rise and fall of her chest.

Her lover has one hand at her throat and the other around her wrists as he appears to smother her breasts in passionate kisses.

The windows haven't been open tonight but in his head Five can hear her cries of pleasure as her date forcefully shoves her knees apart with one of his own, then grinds down on her.

Five knows enough to know that doing that to her would feel so fucking good. Holding her under him... Directing everything...

It's too much for him to handle.

"Fu-uuck," he slowly breathes.

Being in control of everything is all Five knows when it comes to these things, so he easily lets the image before him become him. He is this guy. The only thing he would do differently is let his girl’s hands go free. He wants to let her feverously scratch and dig at his back as he presses his length between her legs. Five is so into this that in his mind, he can feel the pain of it.

He clings to that sensation, wanting to feel something. Seeing her body being treated in this way helps to pull Five back from the darkness in his mind, but it’s not the same as all the other times that he has been with her alone in their own unique way. This time she is a participant in the sexual act being played out before his eyes and Five isn’t sure if that’s why it feels different or not.

Five realized the moment she walked out the door that this is not for him and everything about that feels horrible. Yet still he is still getting sexual stimulated by this, which is all the more fucked up and he knows it.

As silly as it is, the thought that she is doing this to hurt him seems all too real. Of course, she’d want to do that. Nobody can ever really love him.

Five lets out an absolutely maniacal laugh that fills his small apartment in the most horrifyingly unhappy way before he slurs, “Well played, honey. I deserve this and then some, but nobody is as good at hurting me as I am. It absolutely destroys me that you chose this loser, but I am not looking away. I know how to take a punishment; I have been doing it my whole life.”

His hand slides down to his lap, the heavy feel of pleasure hitting him the moment the heat of his dick rubs against his equally hot palm. The full filling in his gut and the growing weight against his leg are all his usual physical reactions to seeing her in private like this, but this, her half naked under this other man as he aggressively dominates her, it’s bringing all sorts of disordered and confusing thoughts into Five’s mind. Something feels wrong, but he assumes it's him, so he begins to stroke himself anyway.

“Fuck me over as you fuck him. I don’t care anymore, I can take it, baby,” Five grates out, his words running together as his hips begin moving up into his hand in their very practiced way.

Taking it further even than the couple across the alleyway have, Five hastily unfastens his suit pants and takes the end of his dick in hand, impatiently working it faster even though he’s not fully erect yet. In his semi-flaccid state, he tries to focus his efforts on the most sensitive area that's just under the tip, but his fingers won't cooperate because he is too shitfaced.

Unbeknownst to him, there is a disconnect happening between the alcohol and his hate for himself, his hate for this guy, and his new anger at the girl that he had tricked himself into believing loved him.

To his dismay, it’s all manifesting in his inability to get rock hard like he’d normally be at this point. It’s just another thing he’s being denied, and Five is determined not to let go of one of the last things that makes him feel anything.

"Come on," Five urges both himself and them, his eyes trained on the other man who is also clearly fumbling as he tries to get his dick out of his jeans.

If she wants to punish him, so be it. But he’s going to be the one to do the beating. Just like their relationship, it’s always been one sided, he only fooled himself that it wasn’t.

He knows that he’ll hate himself even more for this, but in his screwed-up head, that’s exactly what he deserves. He wants to give in and just be nothing but the monster because it would be easier in so many ways.

After a minute or so of relentlessly jerking himself and finally getting hard enough that the head of is cock is pleasantly swollen and he's reaching close to his usual boner potential, the girl starts kicking her legs free. Five doesn’t grasp what’s happening, and that’s because he’s more focused on himself at the moment, rubbing the pearl of cum that's leaking out of him around and around as he pushes his thighs to lift and lower to the motion of how he envisions he's fucking her.

It feels so good, Five's eyes are hardly able to stay open as his head drops back and his mouth gapes and then closes and gapes again. He is making throaty grunting noises to the rhythm of his hand tightly jerking the base of his cock and the old chair he is on is creaking right along to his shameless song.

"Oh Fuck. That's it, suck it you dirty little slut," he groans.

In his mind, he just decided to pull out of her and then push himself straight in her mouth instead. The corners of his mouth pull back as a smile lights up his flushed face and that's because he just pretended to see that naughty twinkle in her eye that he can't get enough of. At this point Five has made up the idea that his girl is loving this and it's all a part of one of their normal little games which has him feeling much better about things. To Five, they just made up and it's going to be okay again.

"You are so perfect. Take me as deep as you can, baby," Five encourages her, his own hands working to give him that feeling of love that he so desperately craves.

When all at once, across the alley, his girl's actual man topples off her, falling onto the floor, Five can actually see the face he's been envisioning, and it doesn’t look happy at all and he doesn’t understand why.

It looks like she is yelling as she pushes the guy off of her a second time. Her face contorts even more in the unmistakable look of pure rage. Even seeing this, Five still frantically searches for his release. All he needs is just a little more and he’ll be there in that addictive place where he can forget everything for just a few glorious seconds.

But then to his shock, the girl chucks the glass vase from her end table, missing her date by only a few inches. It smashes against the wall by the door and using the guy’s small moment of pause over that, the much smaller girl goes for another heavy glass object sitting among her other pretty things. This time she hits him with it in the crotch, and taking the hint, he bolts for her door. She’s right behind him, closing the door before flinging a chain lock across its bracket to keep him out. Even though Five can’t hear it, the visual slamming of her door feels like it sent a shockwave through him.

He actually startles from it, his fuzzy mind coming back to him a little.

Five’s cramping hand on his shaft breaks its ruthless pace as he watches the girl slump her back against the door, her bottom sliding to the floor. She’s wiping her eyes.

Only now does Five know what he was missing in all this.

Watching her clean her own tears from her cheeks has Five suddenly realizing that she did not want what had just happened to her from the start, and that alarming fact hits Five like a ton of bricks. Following that drunken epiphany, an immediate explosion of hysteria hits him.

At the same time the girl gets up, crossing the room to pick something from beside her bed, Five hastily begins tucking himself back in his pants.

Five can hardly think, but one thing he knows is that this time he is going to kill that fucker.

As he races on unsteady feet for his own door, he looks back and sees the girl is no longer sitting there. He can’t see her anywhere inside her apartment but there’s no time to stand there and wait to see where she went. He assumes she went in her bathroom.

Five rips out of his apartment past the corroded elevator doors. He can hear the thing moving for once but since the lights still don’t work, he has no idea what floor it’s on. Crashing into a wall because he clumsily trips on some trash, Five curses himself for getting so messed-up, then takes off again, running as fast as he can to the stairway.

He bolts down the flights, his feet hardly making contact with more than a few steps on each one. When he hits the cement platform at the bottom and throws open the doors to the parking area behind their buildings, he comes out just in time to see his girl taking a swing at a flashy looking sports car pulling through the lot.

She manages to clip off one of the side mirrors with her baseball bat and her date must be scared shitless because he doesn’t stop to have another go with her. Instead, he tears out on to the street, engine roaring and tires screeching.

Hardly believing what he just saw and with his alcohol marinated brain not working even remotely right, Five comes her way.

“Holy shit,” he huffs as he tries to catch his breath.

The girl sees him coming, the look in her eyes so upset.

All Five wants to do is tell her he’s sorry. He wants to beg her forgiveness for being so fucked-up and angry with her that he didn’t see what was happening. He can’t believe that he just sat there, fucking himself while she was being sexually assaulted.

Her eyes grow wide as Five comes right up to her, but other than that, she merely stands there as if in a daze.

When Five makes the terrible mistake of calling her by name and then saying something about that asshole throwing himself on her like that, the girl no longer looks as unworried about the smartly dressed stranger approaching her in what she thought was concern.

“I don’t know you…” she says back, her confusion evident in her face and her tone. “There’s no way you saw…” She pauses but doesn’t take her eyes off the very unstable looking man in front of her. “How do you know that he did that?” she asks, terror washing over her face as she raises her bat.

Her eyes very quickly flit up then back down to the door Five just ran out of. As frustratingly slow as Five’s mind is moving, even he can tell that she is piecing together that he just came out of the adjacent building, and that since he just stupidly admitted to witnessing her date’s repulsive behavior, she knows that he was watching her somehow.

“Wait, I can explain. I care about you. It’s not like that-" He doesn’t know what to say, stumbling over his words horribly. “Please don’t be scared of me,” Five says, trying to correct his first verbal blunder, but it’s too late, and saying that only makes it much, much worse. She’s already backing away from him. He can’t help but panic, and in his current state of mind, he does one further in the wrong when he tries to reach for her. “Plea- OH FUCK!”

She swings at him. Five’s hand comes up stopping the bat just before it slams into the side of his skull.

“No! Just wait! I am sorr-” he tries and fails again to say anything helpful as he spins her around with it, maneuvering her body back up against him so he can detain her arms.

Undeterred by how easily Five turned the tables on her, the girl thrashes, throwing her head back to try and head butt him. He’s much more experienced in hand-to-hand combat than her and taller by just enough that he moves just in time and she misses her mark, her head flinging into his shoulder instead. Ripping the bat out of her hand even as she is stomping at his feet, Five binds one arm around her waist lifting her off the ground as he yanks her backwards with him.

“Please, stop!” he cries again but she’s not having it. Just as she lets out a scream, Five covers her mouth.

The girl bites Five’s fingers. Filled with violent pain from receiving multiple puncture wounds at once, he drops her back on her feet. Five lets out a ferocious roar as both his arms instinctually come up, squeezing around her throat.

Now that her hands are free, she tries to claw at him but Five lifts a knee into her lower back, pushing in as he buries his face against her shoulder blades so she can’t dig his eyeballs out of their sockets. As the girl’s oxygen supply quickly disappears, Five knows it’s a matter of seconds before she will stop fighting him.

He bares down on her with a chokehold and his skill at taking someone down this way has the girl’s weight falling limply back against his body after less than ten seconds. As her head lolls to the side, he knows that she is completely out, but Five knows it’s not going to be for long unless he tightens his hold and keeps it there.

If he does that, then it would be over for her.

Five does not want that. He didn’t want to see her hurt or be the one to hurt her. He didn’t want any of this.

He lets up the pressure, making sure she can breathe, but he doesn’t let her go.

Looking around the dimly lit parking lot, all he hears are the echoes of sirens in the distance and the usual humming noise from the traffic on the freeway a few miles away.

To Five’s surprise, it looks like nobody witnessed any of that, not the date who sped off and not this. It’s the middle of the night and there’s nobody around. Even in the window above with lights on still, Five can’t see any signs that someone saw them fighting. This is not the best neighborhood so even if someone did hear a disturbance outside, it would be nothing noteworthy.

But what now?

After what he just accidentally blurted, telling her that he has been essentially going full creep and stalking her, and then what he just did, Five can’t let her go.

If he does, then it would be over for him.

-------------------------

Thanks for reading if you got here.

(Chapter three coming soon...)

Updated link to chapter three below.

Link to Chapter 3

If you are hungry for more faster than I post it here, find this and my other Five stories at or check out my other Tumblr posts:

Master Post List to all my Five Centric Stories and Art

KayBreezy on A03

KayBreezy on Tumblr

Link to Bad_Kitty who created two of the pics for this fic and is an author who also loves to write Five Fics

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hyewka · 10 months

Note

List your favourite writers + why: Gooo!!! 💌

Been around since when you first started this blog and I can confidently say that every single writing you have put out is a piece from heaven. I really love your style of writing and choice of words. The way you write and plots always have me on the edge and thirsty for more. Thank you for always keeping me entertained! Been too shy to say anything before but you really deserve the love. ❤️❤️

Also can’t wait for the beomgyu series you’re coming out with.❣️

I’m sooooo genuinely flattered aww 😭😭 I’m happy you got to tell me eventually because I’m currently like…flying over clouds out of just pure appreciation, thank you baby for sticking around ❤️

When it comes to my favorite writers, I definitely like to look around here and there hehe I feel like I’m always reading something, and there’s always new writers popping up lol so it keeps it fresh. I’ll limit it to TXT smut writers to make it easier. I feel like this list will consist of me hyping up my mutuals and the people I follow so🥲

- @fairyofshampgyu

among my favorite writers because i was sooo into their fuck you series, and their writing in general is easy to follow and digest but its still not too simple to the point it detoriates the quality of their work, its a perfect balance of being complex and not being too confusing for me to follow after a long 12-hour shift. another point—characterization i feel is such a big part of fanfic and its always believable for me in nini’s fics! it makes it 10x more enjoyable.

- @koqabear

i looove long fics, and i’m always looking forward to whatever sol posts next. what i’m jealous most of her fics is just how the setting is built, its so immersive and insanely detailed. it makes the long read interactive and again, enjoyable making her easily one of my favorite writers. and the diversity of her masterlist? chefs kiss, they have a lot of range and its admirable because it shows skill.

- @itgirlhub / @itgirlgyu

i can practically feel anything qiwi writes sometimes it feels like i’m in a movie. i feel as readers, everyone loves that. her advanced vocabulary is also a favorite of mine, it feels like im learning a new word every now and then, which i deeply thank her for 🥲 but also her writing feels real, other than the topics she chooses to write about, i feel like whenever i sit down and just digest every word, i feel like im reading about real characters, and it gets me so incredibly invested. that is why i’ll be on the sidelines awaiting the day she writes a big FAT oneshot, i’d eat it up like an insane ravenous bitch.

- @wildernessuntothemselves

i love morts blog to the core, just a week ago i went through her entire masterlist and honestly, i’d recommend each and every one. an insane writer with plots that totally hook in everybody. i was not a fan of hybrid smut until i caved and read one of theirs and god, now look at me. she also has so much range in her writing, its fun to read. though i feel almost all of her fics have messed up or sad endings 😂 they’re always fitting though so i don’t mind as a ride or die happy ending whore lol

- @beomsight / @gyuthmics

common theme here is that i love range even if some of it doesn’t appeal to my tastes, i just think it’s so cool when writers tackle random ideas they get in their head and go through with posting even if it might be peculiar for massive consumption. i don’t think what mj writes is ever not my taste. that’s how good i find their writing. even just a small thought, and i’m pumped, giddy, everything lol. and as a perv txt enthusiast, their blog is heaven sent. everyone say thank you for writing mj!

- @tyunkus

if i’m ever in a really terrible, downright nasty taehyun mood (i am a very big advocate for rough dominant taehyun) i go to their blog and search up the taehyun tag. but also other than providing some of the best taehyun writings to ever grace this site, they’re just a generally really good writer. their biggest strength i feel is imagery/description and of course dialogue. amazon wishlist was such a strong piece of writing because undeniably the smut lol but also the dialogue. it’s so real, and makes the characters that much more enjoyable to read. i love love dialogue, and tyunkus absolutely uses it to elevate their writing to untouchable levels. insanely good writer, i'm always psyched for anything new :)

- @pink-tea

its as simple as i love sub txt with all my heart and i love anybody who writes for them 😭 op is a master at it, especially their headcanons. i always end up discovering a new kink just because i havent been deep into the femdom black hole yet unfortunately 😂 their sub!hueningkai stuff is some of my favorite of all times as well.

I have a lot of writers I consider to have consistent hits with what they release (if the question was which writers i enjoy...this list would be very very long 😭) hence I thought of doing an honorable mentions section but keeping it short and simple I think is good. Sort of as to say that these are really my top favorites, like people who I just enjoy everything from no matter the said content even when I am normally a selective person. Hehe this was fun, again I really appreciate your support, it reaches me during a stale not so fun time lol

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teecupangel · 11 months

Note

Ok but.... Pokemon. What if pokemons were real and everyone would have they own team (maybe not 6, but 2/3). I MEAN GHOST TYPE WOULD BE SO GOOD. Also i cannot unsee at least one assassin having Nickit! It's pokedex entry has written that they are very silent and It erases they own tracks with swipes of its tail. THAT IS STEALTH. Also thievul can marks they targets with scent that help them stalks it. Like the bird in newer games. (Sorry for my english!)

(Your English is perfectly understandable :))

I am totally unqualified to make Pokemon teams for AC characters as I have only finished one Pokemon game: Red. I am soooo unfamiliar with all the Pokemons (hell, I don’t even know what gen we are now???). I mean, I played Black, X, and Let’s Go Eevee but I never finished them. XD

So all I can offer you is this:

Desmond gets booted into Detective Pikachu AU idea

And these unorganized notes:

Whatever Pokemons Desmond gets, he must have an Eevee that does not evolve at all. This is to represent his endless possibility. The only possible Eevee evolution I think we should allow is Sylveon because we all know he’s going to spoil that Eevee. Two other possible Pokemons he could have are a CastForm that forever stays sunny whenever near Desmond (and is really more like a pet and doesn’t go to battle) or a Solgaleo. Just… give him a sun-themed Pokemon for the irony.

Going with the Eevee idea, his ancestors all have one specific Eevee evolution. Edward would have a Vaporeon, of course. Altaïr would either have Espeon (a reference to the psychic-like powers of the Apple) or a Jolteon (pokemon.com has Jolteon as the fatest of the Eevee evolutions). Ratonhnhaké:ton would have Leafeon or Jolteon if Altaïr has Espeon. Ezio would have Flareon (because I am mean and making this a Cappadocia reference, sorry Ezio). Haytham would have a Glaceon or an Umbreon. (Or, if we’re killing off Edward anyway, give Haytham Edward’s Vaporeon)

Altaïr would definitely be the cover-all basis type of trainer so, yeah, he’d have 6 Pokemons of various types (some even dual types).

Considering Nickit’s habit of stealing, I can see Edward or Ezio having a Nickit.

Honestly, all of them having a Thievul might make sense. Like they’re an unknown shadowy organization that’s known for (1) wearing hoods, (2) having Thievul and some kind of (3) Ghost-type Pokemon on their team.

I think Mary should have a Gardevoir and that Gardevoir stays with Edward after her death (I mean, if Mary dies in this one. I’m not saying we should kill Mary, just saying…)

Evie and Jacob having Nidoqueen and Nidoking would be funny. Like… their father gave them the Nidorans as their starter Pokemons. Even funnier is if Evie has the Nidoking while Jacob has the Nidoqueen. Or, if you want them to have newer Pokemons, they both received a Charcadet when they were young and Jacob’s evolved to Armarouge while Evie’s evolved to Ceruledge. Just, they should have one Pokemon that’s like different evolutions of the same Pokemon (or opposite of the other’s Pokemon).

I think Shay should have a Froslass as a reference to how Rogue lets you travel to icy parts and how the last parts are set in an icy location (not counting France).

I can’t explain why but I think Arno should have a Greninja and they’d be a tag-team.

Of course, Eivor gets a Corviknight.

I honestly like the idea that Desmond, Altaïr, Ezio, and Ratonhnhaké:ton all have an Alcremie because someone got them to twirl around and strike a pose to evolve their Milcery… who records the entire thing. (I’m betting it’s Edward. It has to be Edward)

Minerva appears as a Gothitelle. Hell, she could be pretending to be Desmond’s Gothitelle. Idk, Gothitelle can predict the future (or just the lifespan of the trainer?), it sounds right that Minerva is Gothitelle or something.

I have this conundrum. I kinda like the idea of Altaïr, Ezio, and Ratonhnhaké:ton having distinct Pokemons related to one another. Now, my first thought would be they would each have Kanto starter Pokemons to show how they’re the first main characters of Assassin’s Creed. Or, you know, they would have the legendary birds of Gen 1 instead to show their legendary status. But, at that point, I thought, why not just give them the Raikou, Entei, and Suicune setup from the Detective Pikachu AU? At some point, my brain goes why don’t they just have a Deoxys each with Desmond having a normal form, Altaïr getting the speed form, Ezio getting the defense form and Ratonhnhaké:ton getting the attack form?

And that’s when my brain gave up and went “Fuck it, give Desmond Arceus. Lol.”

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epithet-beloved · 8 months

Note

what about Naven comforting a trans reader through a rough dysphoria day?? it can be platonic or romantic, or whatever you think best fits the story you want to tell :))

Naven + Reader with Gender Dysphoria

synopsis… Headcanons on how Naven helps out a reader with gender dysphoria!

ft. Naven Nuknuk

tags… epithet erased spoilers, but only if you squint, platonic, slight hurt/comfort, gender dysphoria, reader identity kept vague, headcanon content

word count… 661

a/n… Naven is so trans to me. Trans masc? Trans fem? No one knows. (I’m personally a genderfluid Naven truther). ((Nyoom/Zapped Apples is actually sapphic if you pretend real hard)). Comfort character writing to ward off the malaise lesgo!! ✧ 🦝

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 Epithet God bless this guy i mean it

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 He feels so deeply for you. If he could, he’d wipe away any indication in your mind that you had to transition, that you simply are how you identify.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 But, alas, he cannot, even if he really really desired it. That’s not how life works, he so begrudgingly knows.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 But… that doesn’t mean he can’t try.

“Oh, I love that outfit on you!” Naven would compliment you as you pass him one day, wearing something you feel particularly brave about for once. His bright grin is infectious, and you can’t help but feel flattered when he says, “it suits you very well.”

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 I personally headcanon that Naven had a great fascination with the rise of the punk scene and ideology, especially when he was a teenager. Thus, he always sort of had a loose relationship with his gender, preferring to present himself exactly how he wishes. As he grew older, he felt it would be more professional to be a bit less brazen, but he still wouldn’t care if you refer to him with she/her or something.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 His experience of transness is a little bit outdated compared to young trans people today, but Naven hopes he can validate you in any way that he can, from the subtler things to the widespread action.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 If you frequent STEM, he’ll push for gender neutral bathrooms, for example. Actually, considering certain people he’s worked with, I don’t doubt that he already has some in the building! He does all he can to make things as welcoming as possible.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 On a more personal level, Naven checks in on people face-to-face quite frequently. If you bring up your gender dysphoria to him, he smiles sadly and tells you that he understands, and sort of guessed, based on your tells.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 He offers you to tell him if there’s literally anything he can do to help. Your comfort is his priority, after all!!

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 He’s a secret sucker for clothes shopping for others. If you’re close enough, he’s totally here for shopping with you and buying aaaaannnyything you want (cause let’s be real he’s probably loaded). He doesn’t care if it’s expensive, he’ll get you that gender euphoria!

“How about this?” Nave points at a certain belt from your selection of clothes on the fitting room door. From where he’s seated, he makes a great judge of your new outfits, and he’s always clapping and chittering gladly about how something looks on you. He stands up to pick up the belt and compares it with what you are wearing. “Yes, this would go great with your style! Let’s give it a shot, hm?” You can’t deny his eagerness to see what the belt looks like, as you turn and go back into the changing room.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 If you’re transfem, Naven actually likes to help you with vocal training! His voice is rather effeminate himself, so he has some tips on how he gets his voice sounding more like a woman’s. (How does he have this knowledge? You always forget to ask.)

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 If you’re transmasc, Naven likes giving you jobs that kind of makes you feel more ‘manly,’ as it were. He’s the teacher that asks “are there any Strong Boys who like to carry these chairs? :)” except he picks out the girls (or repressed trans mascs) to help instead. He really well and truly is a teacher.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 If anyone, anyone, were to question whether you “really are” a certain identity… Oh, you should see the glare Naven gives them. Despite his squinted eyes, his furrowed brow and tight frown really makes your blood run cold. Trust that person will get a stern talking to later… Maybe a little more. ^^

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 Also entirely separate note if there are any artists out there PLEASE give Naven a cute long skirt i’m on my knees he deserves to be pretty PLEASEEE 🙏🧎

#🦝's writings #𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 request !#epithet erased #epithet erased imagines #epithet erased x reader #naven nuknuk #naven nuknuk x reader #naven nuknuk imagines

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ao3feed-irondadspiderson · 3 months

Text

Everythings Coming Up Potatoes

https://archiveofourown.org/works/53175532 by peterparkersbff “You have Ned and that scary girl that doesn’t like me,” Tony says. “And Karen doesn’t count.” “Karen totally counts!” Peter argues. “I talk to her, like, every day! She gives me directions to the nearest dog when I’m sad!” “Karen isn’t real." Words: 1891, Chapters: 1/2, Language: English Series: Part 3 of All’s Fair in Love and Potatoes Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: M/M Characters: Peter Parker, Tony Stark, Harley Keener Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark, Harley Keener/Peter Parker Additional Tags: Tony Stark is So Done, Gay Harley Keener, Bisexual Peter Parker, parkner, Attempt at Humor, Harley Keener is a little shit, Fluff and Humor, Potatoes (Mentioned), Ambiguous Slash, Not Canon Compliant, Harley Keener & Peter Parker Friendship, this continues to be my dumbest series, Identity Reveal, Secret Identity, Not Beta Read, Peter Parker is a Little Shit read it on AO3 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/53175532

#IFTTT #ao3feed #fanfic #iron dad and spider son #spider son #iron dad #peter parker #tony stark

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