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leviathanswingman · 3 years

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love is a losing game, chapter 6: overruled pride

Lucifer was standing in front of the mirror, smoothing over every last wrinkle in his clothes. Today, he had made a conscious attempt at altering his appearance. Rather reluctantly, he had opted for a skintight, wine red turtleneck instead of one of his stiff dress shirt.

It was the easiest solution to his problem, considering the sigil that was becoming ever more noticeable by the minute sat right in the middle of his neck. His other options would have been to either us concealer, which seemed like too much of a hassle, or wear bandages around his neck the entire day. And that, he was not willing to put up with.

Additionally, it would be far too obvious that something was up if all of a sudden, Lucifer started to wear medical grade bandages when out in the open when nothing was supposed to be wrong with him. Most certainly, that was not a fashion statement he would ever make with a clear mind. Perhaps Mammon would be foolish enough to think a simple bandage would be enough to cover up the physical representation of one of the bigger failures of his life, but Lucifer was smarter than that.

The bright orange pill bottle was sitting on his dresser, staring Lucifer down mockingly as if to say: See? This is what you get for letting loose, this is what you get for stepping out of your comfort zone. Lucifer refused the sudden urge to grab it and throw it against the wall, taking satisfaction in the way the plastic container chipped into pieces and the suppressants spilled all over the floor. Before he could follow his silent threat with actions, there was a sudden sharp knock on his door. Just so the unexpected guest could have even the slightest of chances of walking in on Lucifer having a stare down with a pill bottle with his own damn name on it, he crammed it into the upper drawer of his dresser and slammed it shut.

„Yes, come in,“ he said loud enough for the guest to hear as soon as he was done.

The door opened and Barbatos entered the room with fierce yet quiet steps, the heels of his shoes clacking softly on the marbled floor. „Thank you, Lucifer.“

Although Lucifer hadn't expected to meet Barbatos today, he found himself fundamentally unsurprised. Sooner or later he would have expected him to come see him anyway. Admittedly, he would have preferred to have a face to face with Barbatos rather later than sooner, but there was nothing for him to do about that now. All he could do was get this approaching awkward conversation over with.

Without waiting for Barbatos to to state his business, Lucifer dropped all pretence as he faced Diavolo's trusted butler. „I assume my doctor has contacted you about the medication?“ he asked, though in all honesty it was more of a statement than an inquiry.

In certain cases it was policy for doctors to relay any changes in medication to the patient's superior. This whole system had been set in place to reduce certain accidents happening due to some medication's side effects and the effect they could possibly have on other demons. Suppressants belonged right in that category since - how many other magic infused medications - they were known to sometimes trigger bad reactions in other demons. All in all, Lucifer had known what to expect.

Barbatos nodded his head. „She has.“

„Am I right in assuming that you were already aware of it?“

„You are correct in that assumption, indeed.“

Lucifer sighed as he walked over to his dresser and took the pill bottle out of the drawer, putting it down on the desk in front of Barbatos without saying anything.

Barbatos picked up the pill bottle and inspected it closer. His lips moved in silence as he scanned the list of ingredients, mouthing the words without saying them as he was reading. After he was done he handed the pill bottle over to Lucifer again. „I do not think these are going to cause any irreversible problems. You have started taking them already, I presume.“

Lucifer took the pill bottle and turned it over in his hand. „ Yes, I already took one,“ he replied and screwed the lid open. He took out another one of the tiny little pills and swallowed it dry. „As you can see I am indeed taking them. There is no need to watch me like a hawk.“

Barbatos mustered Lucifer with that all-knowing yet unreadable gaze of his. „I don't doubt that. Still, that leaves one quandary.“ Taking one step closer towards Lucifer, Barbatos considered his colleague and friend for a second. „When will you tell Lord Diavolo?“

This was the exact question Lucifer had dreaded the most. Even after hours of staring at the ceiling as he was lying on his bed, Lucifer had not managed to come up with an answer to that one question he knew would inevitably come up. After all, he had no intentions whatsoever of telling Diavolo about what had happened that night.

Having to pass Diavolo in the hallway and feeling the tense energy between them was bad enough. It was uncomfortable, but Lucifer could handle it. However having to confess to Diavolo, his superior, one of his oldest friends, that he had formed a mating bond with him during a one night stand, of all things, was right out of the question.

Lucifer knew his feelings were out of place, so he refused to verbalize them. If he did, that would make them undeniably real.

Barbatos noted the silence and interpreted it accordingly. He wished he could show Lucifer all of the possible futures he had seen based on him confessing his truth. Alas, he could not do that.

Also, wouldn't that take the fun out of all of this?

Barbatos highly disliked seeing both of his friends, Diavolo and Lucifer, in such turmoil caused by both of their stubbornness, yet he also knew it was not his place to intrude. They had to figure it out themselves. All he could do was push their limits bit by bit and rely on the fact that even though both of them were quite difficult in their own ways, fated lovers generally found themselves one way or another.

He took note of Lucifer's attire and smiled a little. For someone like him, who recognized most changes in patterns as ways of distraction, no matter if to deflect or strengthen truths, it was quite clear Lucifer was attempting to hide a certain fact that he didn't feel quite comfortable with. So, Barbatos concluded, the change in fashion was definitely related to Lucifer's newborn bond to Lord Diavolo.

„Your sigil?“

As predicted, Lucifer pulled down the collar of his turtleneck and right there, at the base of Lucifer's neck, now exposed, was the sigil, that undeniable proof of their bond, made up of broad strokes and timid lines, still infantile in its newborn nature.

„It is quite breathtaking,“ Barbatos mentioned and Lucifer quickly pulled the collar up again.

„A nuisance is what it is. It shouldn't even be there in the first place,“ Lucifer spat out, the conflicted tone to his voice far too apparent.

„I am certain Doctor Naamah has explained to you that you are not allowed to take these medications for longer than a month, yes? So I would be enlightened to hear your plan of action.“

Although talking about his on-sided mating bond was about the last thing Lucifer wanted to do, he found a certain calamity in knowing the one person to bring it up was Barbatos. Although the demon loved to push Lucifer's boundaries in his own certain way, Lucifer could be sure that Barbatos would keep quiet about it unless he absolutely had to talk about it.

„I will use this month to figure out what to do about this. As you probably have figured out already, I would rather not tell Diavolo. We need him to focus on his duties. Knowing that he is the reason for my,“ Lucifer cleared his throat and averted his gaze for a moment. „Ailment, as one would call it, would prove to be counter productive. I shall find a way to get rid of all of this before it turns into a problem for him,“ Lucifer stated ever so profusely.

Barbatos struggled with the urge to interfere and simply resigned himself to nod with an unreadable expression on his face. Diavolo is not the only demon we should be worried about, he wanted to say, but bit his tongue instead.

He could tell Lucifer was ready to carry this burden all by himself, especially because he had gotten affirmation from Doctor Naamah that in the end, he was going to be the sole demon negatively impacted by the sigil.

Even though Barbatos felt the unmistakable need to interfere, he was too aware of the fact that in the end, there was no demon except for him who was aware of how important it was to hold back when it was needed, even if the people most affected by it were two of his closest friends.

“I am going to be frank with you, Lucifer,” Barbatos started. “Although you are akin to a brother for me, I struggle to believe in your words. I am not calling you a liar, I am attempting to tell you that you are trying to deceive yourself. What would be the worst outcome if you told Lord Diavolo about what had happened? I believe you are aware of the fact that he is quite enamoured with you.”

Lucifer turned the pill bottle over and over in his hand, focusing on the way his name on the label disappeared and reappeared as he turned the bottle over and over before finally setting it down on his mahogany desk again.

“The worst outcome is him knowing that in the end, I have failed my duties. As you know, I promised him my loyalty when he showed mercy and saved Lilith. I have promised to be his loyal right-hand man ever since. Now, I find myself conflicted in-between my duties and my desires.”

When have I become so daring that I thought I could deserve Diavolo's benevolence, although I am not much more than his devoted servant?

When had Lucifer become weak enough, unable to resist lingering glances and warm touches? He was supposed to be above all that. He was supposed to be able to restrain himself and act as Diavolo's diligent right-hand man, immune to all the allures the world had to offer, but apparently, when it was about Diavolo Lucifer had no choice but to give in. He found himself a slave to Diavolo's advances, no matter how much they would hurt them in the end. There was no saying no to those mesmerizing golden eyes.

Barbatos cleared his throat and snapped Lucifer out of his thoughts by doing so. “Duties and desires do not necessarily have to end up in conflict, Lucifer. As much as I am Lord Diavolo's servant I am also your friend. I refuse to see neither of you in pain, no matter how hard you refuse to see the truth.”

A slight pained smile ghosted over Lucifer's face. “I appreciate the concern, but not even your words won't redirect my thoughts. Diavolo's actions have shown me the truth within his intentions without much needed words. This is the way it happened to be, and I refuse to complain about it. I am neither a victim nor a survivor, I have been dismissed after having revealed too much when I should have kept quiet instead. Diavolo did nothing wrong. I was the one who allowed things to go too far.”

Barbatos looked at Lucifer with the slightest bit of pity in his eyes. There was nothing left for him to do here.

He gestured towards the pill bottle one last time. “As your friend, I am asking you to stick to the one month period, Lucifer. The both of us are quite aware of the consequences that shall ensue if you do not intend on sticking to the time frame.”

Lucifer mustered Barbatos one last time. Although he had no intentions of telling Diavolo what had happened, Lucifer also had no intentions of lying to Barbatos. After all, through the years the butler had become a strange, yet good friend.

He shook hands with Barbatos. “Thank you for your concern,” he said with a firm tone of voice. But I simply cannot explain to Diavolo what has occurred that night. He does not deserve the burden of having to carry another's unrequited love when he is destined for means bigger than the both of us . For his good, I shall stay quiet and still. My silence on this specific topic is the one thing that shall never disgrace him.

So Lucifer bid farewell to Barbatos and stayed quiet and still until he heard the door fall shut.

After all, he was a soldier who had sworn to dedicate his life to this war. As long as he ended up serving his purpose, he would be alright in the end. Even if “alright” meant an undeniable death. Whether it would be caused by war or love, he couldn't tell, but Lucifer knew that either way, he had the chance to die in an honourable way.

In the end, all he wanted was to fulfil his duty and allow his brothers to live a life far better than his own. It didn't matter if Lucifer got wounded in the process. He was their oldest brother and no matter what, he would gift them the ability to live a life more carefree than his.

He was Lucifer the Morning Star, the oldest brother of seven who could not allow himself to take what he wanted, because for once, his pride was overruled by his sense of loyalty. If he had to remain quiet and suffer in deafening silence for his brothers, his friends and Diavolo, then he would happily do so.

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5 , Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10

#fanfiction #obey me #shall we date? obey me #hurt #dialuci #slow burn #misunderstandings #angst #lucifer x diavolo #diavolo x lucifer #obey me lucifer #lucifer #barbatos #this is the always present barbatos chapteer that i always have to include yes #my writing

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utterlyhopeful-fics · 5 years

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The Bet~ Part II

@kscarlett1 was 100% my motivation for this chapter! I think there might be more to this story and an SOA crossover and I’m geekin y’all. Enjoy!

The Bet~ Part I

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Me llamo Obispo. Yo soy el presidente. Welcome amiga nuevo: My name is Bishop. I’m the president. Welcome new friend.

Me nombre es Y/N. Mucho gusto: My name is Y/N. Nice to meet you.

Igualmente: Likewise

Days idled in to two aching weeks of radio silence and it was quickly beginning to chip away at Bishop leaving him restless, jumpy, and downright miserable. The checkered tile felt cool beneath his bare feet as sat by his lonesome in their kitchen twisting the label off the presently empty beer bottle.

His sigh echoed deafeningly noisy almost like all the peacefulness had left when Y/N did. All of her belongings still remained in their rightful home as he wondered just how long this charade could last.

Bishop sluggishly walked to the fridge, grabbing another beer before reaching for the half empty tequila bottle, he kept stashed underneath the sink. Emergency purposes only, how properly fitting. He staggered back to his chair before collapsing into his original spot, the spot he intended to waste the day in while hopefully drowning his many sorrows.

His lids closed as his brain traveled back to the fateful day that would eventually fuck up everything.

*Flashback- One Year Ago*

Riz dealt another hand of Poker as Coco, Angel, and Bishop rallied up to the table all intent on winning. After the not so pleasant meeting with Miguel earlier in the afternoon, all members were tittering on the edge, silenced into submission after their latest threat. Miguel fucking Galindo would guarantee the death of their club, but most certainly to their integrity or at least what was left of it.

Everyone glanced at the cards displayed to its designated owner before Angel spoke up; “This only applies to one moron at this table, and yes, I’m talkin bout you Coco; no fucking card counting you prick.”

Coco counter smirked unwilling to confirm nor deny his brother’s suspicions.

“Whatever you say, amigo.”

The game continued smoothly for the next hour before Riz finally braved the sentence no one was willing to speak.

“How the fuck we gonna get out of this one, Pres?”

Bishop exhaled; unsure of how to comfort his brothers and pep their spirits, but the words never found him.

“No more talk of work for the rest of the evening. Got it?”

All nodded in agreement going forth with the festivities surrounding them. Bishop skimmed the crowded room. The bass of the music pulsated around him, the sound of women’s laughter filled the air as the party started to get into full swing.

Until he noticed the stunning figure sitting by her lonesome at the disheveled bar; her body swaying to the current beat, her emerald eyes closed with a blissful smile painted upon her lips. She looked like heaven; beautiful to admire and way out of his league, but he loved a challenge.

“Say boys…does anybody know the broad sitting at the bar?”

All eyes guided towards the stranger’s direction admiring the beauty thankfully clueless to their gawking. Suddenly Coco’s cleared his voice, his attention focused on the current cards in his hand; “Her name’s Y/N. She used to be an Old Lady for the Sons.”

“That doesn’t explain why she’s here tonight in Mayans territory now does it?” Bishop’s tolerance began to flounder, his impatience clearly nearing the finish line.

“She’s works at Santo Padre Hospital as the newest Chief of Cardio…or so I’ve heard.”

Angel’s eyebrow raised slightly staring at Coco quizzically; “How the fuck do you know all this shit? You stalking this girl, bro?”

Coco leaned closer lowering his tone trapping the curious men beside him.

“Get this. She just so happens to be Vicki’s niece hence why she is here tonight.”

“Jesus, she’s one fine piece of ass.”

Bishop coldly stared at Angel’s now frightened expression; “If I’ve taught you one thing in all the years of being graced with my company, it is always to treat a lady with respect. Chicks dig the gentlemen, I’m tellin you.”

Angel was alit with drunken charm as the next sentence tumbled from his lips; “Said the man who got laid last when…?”

“I’d be real careful if I were your squirt. Tonight, is not the night to be checky with me, do I make myself clear?”

Luckily Angel had the brain power to know when to halt his shenanigans and silently complied with his president’s request.

Enough with this shit. Bishop threw his remaining cards down overwhelmed and abruptly out of breath.

“I’m going outside for some fresh air. Deal me out, I’m done boys.”

As Bishop made his way towards the exit, he braved a glance over his shoulder towards Y/N surprisingly locking eyes before she looked back at the woman now occupying the empty seat beside her.

Bishop reached the porch in no time, scurrying for his pack of lights only to be disappointed to find empty pockets and quarters. His head tilted back, eyes rolled to the back of his head, and he tiredly groaned, rubbing his hands over his face in defeat.

Before his pity became all-consuming, Bishop’s neck hair stood on edge alerting him of someone else’s presence as he heard a quiet ‘Hey’. He turned to follow the melodic voice, she was even more gorgeous up close.

“I think I can be of assistance.” Y/N combed her blonde hair behind her ears revealing a cigarette tucked away and handed it to the handsome man sitting alone.

“You don’t strike me as a smoker but today has definitely not been my day.”

“I’m not. It was kinda forced upon her, hence the hiding spot.” She chuckled at her own joke accidentally releasing a snort. She reached to cover her mouth embarrassed at the sound her body created, but Bishop Losa lit up like a kid on Christmas morning.

“Me llamo Obispo. Yo soy el presidente. Welcome amiga nuevo.”

“Me nombre es Y/N. Mucho gusto.”

“Igualmente. What brings you to this part of town, bonita?”

“Ah, already with the names. I thought you would be different…less unpredictable.”

“Lo siento mucho. I must admit it was even a little sleazy for me too. I guarantee you it won’t happen again, maybe.”

“All is forgiven. Um, long story short. My marriage was in shambles, my home didn’t feel like home any longer, and this was a badass job opportunity. I’m a doctor, heart doctor to be exact.”

“How did I get so lucky to be in the company of a genius, especially one as interesting as yourself.”

“Some people are just blessed, ya know?” He had never seen a smile as lovely as Y/N’s but he knew it could make a rainy day entertaining.

Bishop took a long drag of his almost finished cigarette embracing the finality of the ticklish burn in his throat. Y/N was too busy gazing at the stars momentarily distracting her. Bishop decided to break their bubble of peace; “I better be heading back inside. Gotta keep these guys in line.”

“You have a rowdy crew on your hands but a loyal bunch. Lucky you.”

“It was really nice meeting you. Hopefully, I’ll see you around?”

“Who knows what the future has in store? The odds might be switching in your favor.”

She extended her hand to shake his just as lightening simmered between them slowly before becoming electrifying. Simultaneously, they both pulled away finding each other’s eyes. Bishop broke eye contact first and began the minor trek back inside, his nerves tingling as he shook his fingers. What the hell just happened?

“Hasta luego.”

“Ciao.”

He dragged his feet back to his chair greeting the guys once more. Smoke engulfed the room as the alcohol resumed to flow.

Riz pipped up; “Change of heart, boss?”

“Shut the hell up and deal the damn cards.”

Coco interjected, snickering; “Someone’s feathers seem to be ruffled.”

“How bout we make things a little more stimulating.”

Bishop gave into his whims, “What did you have in mind, ya idiot?”

“While you were absent, we were discussing and came up with a great idea. A bet.”

“I’ll give in. Explain.”

Angel perked up resting his elbows on the table reveling in temporary power. “Well you did say to get our minds off of work and what better way than to initiate the new girl.”

Riz butted his way into the conversation; “Since you my dear friend seems the most in need of female interaction, your name easily came up. Seduce Y/N, reel her in. Hook, line, and sinker.”

She seemed like a sweet enough girl and he was obviously lacking female companionship at the moment, so he blindly accepted.

“Easy, what’s my timeline?”

“Three months max.” All men shook their heads in agreement.

“Winner gets forty-eight hours of uninterrupted ‘vacation’.”

Any time away from the club was always a blessing in disguise and he was in dire need of a break from his twisted reality.

“You assholes are going down.”

Bish dared one more glimpse at the mysterious woman who enraptured his attention. Concocting his plan would take time since she wasn’t like one of the usual girls that hung around. She was a goddamn surgeon! Y/N felt a pair of eyes watching her as she glanced at her newly found friend, a faint smirk alighting her features.

Her belly tightened with renewed butterflies as she looked away from Mr. President himself not quite ready to admit the blush tinging her cheeks was all due to the inexplicably fascinating man, she had the pleasure of stumbling upon. Y/N exhaled; finally, optimistic of her new journey in Santo Padre and away from her past life.

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Requests open!

#mayans mc #mayans #mayans mc x reader #my writing #the bet #bishop x reader #bishop losa x reader #mayans mc imagine #mayans mc fx

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overly-b · 6 years

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Periods - Tom Holland

Because that time of the month is the time where you find yourself wanting Tom Holland a little more than you already do during the rest of the month.

Warnings: Blood and typical period things, swearing

Word count: 2.3k

Waking up to a pool of sticky scarlet soaking through your pajama pants and white sheets was not ideal. Yet on this very unfortunate morning, that is exactly what had gotten you out of bed. You groan as you realize what had happened overnight.

“Shit” You crawl out of your bed, careful to avoid the stains and cautious not to create any more mess. You whisper a small ‘thank god’ under your breath as you realize that Tom had already left to go on set for the day. Meaning you could get everything taken care up before he and Harrison get home.

You shiver as you undress, the Montreal weather still taking some getting used to. You clean yourself up, soaking your sweatpants and underwear in cold water and hydrogen peroxide. You then strip your shared bed of its blankets and sheet and soak the blood worn patches in the same solution.

Throwing your clothes and bedding into the washing machine, you close the lid and it starts with a satisfying hum. Leaning over the now running machine, you stifle a groan as a wave of pain rumbles through your lower stomach.

“Fuck” You mumble. You really did not want to have to deal with your period right now. You were not expecting to have to, as you seemed to be early by a few days. Normally, you were the type of girl who could do almost everything when on her period that she would normally. But normally, you were prepared for your time of the month, and today, being as surprised as you had been, you felt no motivation for anything at all. Also seeing as you had just moved house, to live with Sam and Harry as well as Tom and Harrison.

You were just thankful that none of them were home at the moment.

You purse your lips together as your cramps get worse. You had never gotten cramps this bad before. You threw your hair up in a bun and made your way to the kitchen. Grabbing a whole tub of ice cream and a spoon, you search for Advil but find none.

“Stupid new house” you sputter. You wander into your living room where you cozied into the corner of your couch and flipped through a few channels before finding something decent to watch.

You soon fell into a light sleep, your tensing muscles keeping you from a deep slumber. After not being able to find comfort, you begin to search the quaint house for anything you could use as a heating pad, wanting anything to ease your stomach. But you knew very well that you did not have a legitimate heating pad, nor one of those large rubber water bottles.

So, you opted for a plastic one. Taking it from the fridge, you drank as much as you could before pouring the rest down the sink. Turning the spout to the hottest it could go, you wait for the tap to heat up. In a few moments, steam rises from the faucet and you fil the thin plastic with the burning hot liquid.

Screwing the cap on tight, you peel the paper label off the bottle and place it on your lower stomach, finding a small comfort in that.

Drifting once more, you are startled by the sound of the door opening. Your eyes fluttered for a moment but closed again because of your drowsiness.

“Awe” You vaguely hear your boyfriends voice, but given that you were halfway to sleep, it sounded miles away, much like a dream. As Tom walked near the couch, he noticed you were sleeping. He also noticed a somewhat distressed look on your face. Not quick sickly, but he knew something was going on. He squatted down on the edge of the couch, brushing a strand of hair from your sleeping face, studying it.

Having dated for nearly two years now, it didn’t take the young man long to figure out what time of the month it was. Because being the amazing boy he was, he knew your cycle.

“A bit early huh,” He said under his breath, remembering to last month on the day your period started. He also remembers all of the supplies that you have at home. Things that he knew that the five of you living in the new house did not have quite yet. “Shit” He knew how bad your cramps get when you don’t have the proper medicine and how cranky you can become when there is no food.

He gets up from his position, tucking you in tightly, careful not to wake you. Tom grabs his coat and boots from where he had taken them off just moments before.

“Harrison” He quietly calls up the stairs where he knows his friend is. Harrisons bedroom door opens.

“Yeah?”

“I’m going to the shops, Y/N is feeling poorly. Don’t wake her up please.”

Harrison nods, asking Tom to grab a few things for him as well.

As Tom enters the small grocery store, he grabs what he knows you love. Things like hot chocolate, a tube of cookie dough paired with a carton of milk. Tom grabs three tubs of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream, one for each of your favorite flavors. He makes his way to the bakery where he takes a single slice of red velvet cake from a display. He shuffles around the food isles for a few more minutes, picking up some more sweets and things for himself and Harrison.

He then searches for two bottles of medicine. One of Advil, and one of a period medicine he has seen in you cupboards many times before. He finds a large electric heating pad as well.

Tom takes small steps when entering the feminine hygiene section of the store. Hoping that he doesn’t look too awkward and out of place, he looks for the all too familiar pink box. He had never boughten them for you before, but he had seen them in your bathroom and had been shopping with you when you have picked them up. He finds what he thinks to be the right box when he realizes that there were many selections and different types of tampons all within the same brand. The boxes looked the same, but many said different things.

Tom chases after the few images of the box that he had in his brain. He couldn’t remember the specific details, so he took two boxes of what he thought to be the right ones off of the shelf and tossed them into his cart.

He noticed a few looks coming from different people around the store, but he no longer mined with the thought of you at home, in a house with four boys, on her period.

As he made his way to the checkout counter, the friendly young girl smiled sweetly at him and his choices.

“Sister, mom, or girlfriend?” She asked as she began scanning the food. “Because whoever the girl is, she’s lucky” She chuckled, as did Tom.

“Girlfriend, actually” He stated. “She lives with my brothers and me, this is the least I could do” Tom explains.

“Well, she is very lucky” She bags his items, telling him his total.

“If I’m being honest, I’m the lucky one.” He loved gloating about you. To this, the girl grinned in awe.

“Well, I assume that she’s waiting for this” She hands him his bags. “You have a great rest of your day”

“Cheers love, you too”

Tom drives swiftly back to the house where he finds that his younger brothers have returned home as well. He hoped that they had not disturbed you. When he finds that the house is quiet as he walks in, he takes that as a good sign. The sets the handful of bags on the counter in the kitchen and makes his way to the living room where he finds you still asleep. He watches and your face contorts and you shift in obvious pain, showing through even as you sleep.

He wakes you by rubbing your back and shoulders, kissing your cheeks and forehead.

“Darling?” He asks are you stir.

“Hi, Tommy” Sleep slurs your voice.

“I’m sorry to wake you but I got you some things.” He tells you.

“What?” You question, sitting up slowly. “What kinda things?”

You rub your eyes as Tom rushes to the kitchen, returning with a multitude of plastic bags. The first thing you notice is the neon pink box of tampons.

“Tom” You gush. “How did you know-”

“Because I know” He mumbles softly.

“Well, you didn’t have to get all of this stuff babe that’s too much trouble. I have stuff I was fine” You rub his cheek.

“No, you don’t.You don’t have your heating pad here, you don’t have your medicine, you don’t have your favorite sweets, and, you’re living with four boys. I was the one who wanted you to come with me and it is my job, to make sure that you have all of your stuff. I felt awful when I realized you didn’t have anything”

Your eyes began to water.

“Goddammit” You rub your eyes harshly. Tom chuckles. “okay okay, show me what you bought,” You said excitedly. You could tell that he was proud of himself for making you happy.

He watched as your eyes lit up at all of the chocolates and sweets that he had boughten you. Tom takes out the two bottles of pills, handing them to you. You smile as these are the exact same kind you have at home and that he somehow remembers the name and exact brand. You dry swallow a single Midol pill and set the bottle aside along with the Advil. Just as your stomach started the ache again, Tom pulls a large heating pad from the final bag.

“Oh my god I literally love you” You wrap your arms around his neck. You take it from his hands and begin to get it settled on your stomach. You lay back on the arms rest of the couch, pulling your feet up and excitedly tapping them on the cushions. “Plug it in plug it in plug it in”

Tom grins at the happiness in your voice and on your face. He hurridly unravels the cord and reaches to an outlet just the side of the couch. You push the notch all the way up, waiting for the heat to radiate your pain away. You pucker your lips as a signal for him to kiss you. He leans over the couch, placing a peck on your chapped lips.

“Thank you,” You kiss him again. “I love you”

“Anytime love. You should choose a movie, I’ll go put the stuff away and I’ll come give you cuddles, ” His voice changes to one that is utterly adorable and makes you wanna squeeze his cheeks. “What do you want to eat first?”

“Cake!” You call after him. He returns a few moments later with the rather large piece of your favorite cake and a fork. You use your arms to push your self up as he hands the dessert to you, climbing to your side.

“Did you find anything good?” He asks, looking at the large TV. You smirk as he begins to recognize the movie. One of his firsts.

“No” He drags.

“Hush, it’s one of my favorites,” You tell him off, mouth full of bright red cake. Tom huffs, trying not to smile at you. Occasionally, you would give a forkful of the sweet cake to Tom. As you watch the movie, Tom opted on watching you. You watch the tsunami hits the resort that holds baby Tom and his family. He notices you wincing as him and Naomi Watts are hurdled through the water.

After you finish your cake, you snuggle further into the blankets and Tom. His back is pressed against the back of the couch while you rest on your side in front of him. He rubs your stomach under the hot pad. Spooning, Tom drifts slightly and is woken by your soft tears. His eyes find you sitting up in front of him. He slides up from his place ending up by your side, wondering what was the matter, what he needed to fix.

Your eyes fixated on the screen, water pours down your cheeks as the three brothers find each other after the tragic events that had split them apart. A soft chuckle rumbles through Tom’s body.

“Every time” He mumbles. You gently smack him.

“I love this scene you know that” You sniffle, leaning into him. A small sob escapes your lips as their father enters the screen. Tom’s arm that was wrapped around your shoulders squeezed you into him more.

Your tears dry as the movie comes to a close.

“You ready for bed love?”

“Yeah about that, there are no sheets on the bed, there was a bit of an incident this morning” You hide your face in embarrassment.

“I’ll take care of it, love, you go get ready for bed” He helps you off of the couch, running to collect the sheets and blankets. You unplug your phone charger and heating pad and make your way upstairs. You plug the two back in again near your naked bed and wander into the bathroom where you freshen up.

You re-enter your bedroom to find Tom struggling to make the bed. He knows that there is a very specific way that you opt to do it, but that is the reason that he always lets you make the bed.

“Here let me help you” You giggle. Together, you make the bed and snuggle in together.

“I hope you’re feeling better love” He kisses you. “goodnight” To this you grin.

“Much better, thanks, Tom. Night” Tom continues to rub your stomach until he falls asleep, and by then, you had already passed out.

#tom #holland #tom holland #tom holland imagines #tom holland imagine #tom holland oneshot #tom holland x reader #tom holland x you

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avaalons · 7 years

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Chris Evans Fic: Since Then

If they are still open can I request Chris and y/n and they had a friends with benefits deal that resulted in a kid and now they are raising their kid together but not together if you know what I mean. But everyone around them can see how in love they are and they play it off. Happy ending all round please. Sorry if they are closed.

***

The day your daughter had been born, Chris had only just made it in time. She was three weeks early and Chris had been at the end of filming stint, planning on returning to Boston four days later so that he’d be around in those final weeks of your pregnancy and ready to go when you popped. But his baby girl had had other ideas, deciding she was more than ready to see the world and wanted out, like now. So your sister had called him, screaming more than was probably necessary and told him to get his ass on the next flight out if he had any hopes of witnessing the birth of his first child.

You were determined, this baby wasn’t coming until Chris was by your side, not because you needed him there as such, but because you didn’t want him to miss this incredible, life changing moment. You didn’t care how many nurses told you that birth didn’t work that way, that baby was staying in until her father could be there to welcome her into the world.

As luck would have it, your labour was long and horrendous. A head in the wrong position and a heavy dose of oxytocin were doing nothing for your comfort levels and by the time Chris arrived, you were a weeping, screaming, terrified mess, but he was a rock. He was ready with a cool washcloth on your forehead and the back of your neck; he had soothing things relentlessly spilling from his lips, even as you cursed him and shoved at him and told him this was all his fault; he let you near break his hand and didn’t even bat an eyelid; and when she was actually delivered, he cried with you, declared you a family now and that he’d be there for every ballet recital, ball game, science project, chess tournament, or swim competition. He didn’t care, whatever it was she wanted to do, he’d be there.

And you knew then at the back of your mind that it couldn’t possibly be true, his life just wouldn’t allow it, and you weren’t together together so the family part was a bit misleading, but in that moment, you didn’t care. You were floating on elation and nothing but nothing could pull you down from your cloud.

‘She looks like an Abbie I think,’ he whispered, referencing one of the girls names you’d both shortlisted via text while he’d been away.

And so there she was, Abigail Christina Evans, the middle name after your mother primarily but also a happy nod to her father, the light of your life and the delicate thread that held you and Chris together.

***

‘Mooommmm?! Mom?!’

You all but threw the iron into its holder attached to the ironing board and flung open the door to the hallway and stairs.

'Would it really kill you to take it upon yourself to descend this magnificent staircase once in a while instead of just summoning me like a servant?’

The sandy coloured hair of your now not-so-little girl hung down in a sheet as she leaned over the bannister from the landing.

'Sorry mom, I swear. But have you seen my Ariana Grande tshirt? You know, the one I got from LA when-’

'When your dad took you to her show,’ you finished for her in a mock-weary voice, a joke you both had about just how many times she mentioned going to see Ariana Grande live in one day, 'Yes, I know the one. It’s literally in this pile of ironing I’m doing. I’ll do it next. Is there anything else you need? Your dad is due any second.’

'No, I’m good apart from that tshirt. Thanks mom, you’re the best.’

You smiled up at her and she blew you a kiss. Sometimes you couldn’t believe just how grown up she was now. She was only ten but seemed such a little lady, and she was beautiful inside and out.

You finished her tshirt, folding it gently and just as you lay it on the pile of her other things, there was the sound of a key in the door.

'Sweetheart! Your dad’s here!’ you shouted as he stepped over the threshold with a smile and a wave to you. He barely had time to get out his hello before he was ambushed by his own child. She launched herself at him in excitement, clinging to him koala style and burying her face in his neck. His arms immediately wrapped around her as he hugged her to him tightly. You smiled to yourself, busying yourself with your chores and letting them have their moment.

'Oh princess, I can’t even tell you how happy I am to see you,’ he told her sincerely.

'Me too dad. Oh my god, I’ve got so much to tell you,’ and with that she wriggled from his grasp, the moment over as she launched into a fast and detailed explanation of all the friend dramas she sustained everyday with barely a breath, ’… so then Kaitlyn was like 'well I don’t want to be Abbie’s understudy,’ but Miss Clary told her straight up that she’d end up with no part at all if she carried on. I can’t help it if I’m a triple threat, can I Dad? Anyway, I need to grab my stuff from upstairs and then I can tell you what happened at soccer practise - oh my god! Mom told me you can come to my next game! I’m so excited! - but anyway, honestly, I can’t even - Jenna 'accidentally’ tripped up Chloe last week and - oh just wait a second while I get my bag.’

And like a sudden whirlwind, she was gone as quickly as she had arrived and you looked over at Chris with a knowing grin. He was stood with his eyes wide, apparently lost for words.

'I blame you. That must all be you because I was definitely not that talkative when I was her age,’ you told him.

He paused for a moment, shaking his head in disbelief before laughing, 'Triple threat?! Did she actually just say that?’

'Again, I blame you.’

He shook his head quickly, as if to shake off the verbal battering ram he’d just received, before clearing the room to approach you and pull you into a light hug.

'Anyway. Hello, hi, it’s good to see you.’

You laughed into his chest, giving him a quick squeeze, 'Nice to see you too. You’re looking well. Work going okay? Got to keep the beard this time I see.’

'Oh my god, I know!’ he replied quickly in excitement, unknowingly almost an exact replica of his daughter just moments earlier, as he scrubbed a hand over his facial hair, 'Cap with a beard, who knew?! What’s been going on here? Give me a run down.’

You walked through to the kitchen as you talked, Chris following you instinctively.

'Not a lot really. She’s doing well in school although could probably do with a tiny bit more focus on the academic side of things, but as long as she keeps the balance with her extra curriculars, she’ll be okay. Did you see I added the next parent-teacher conference evening to the calendar?’ You pulled open the fridge door and handed him a water before grabbing one for yourself. You’d worked out over the years that to keep Chris in the loop with everything going on in Abbie’s life, a synced digital calendar worked wonders.

He nodded, 'Yeah, I can be here. In fact…’

He was suddenly pensive and your curiosity piqued.

'Yes?’

'After I’m done with Cap, I think I’m going to take some time off Hollywood and spend more time in Boston. Move back for a while. Full time.’

You raised your eyebrows, a little surprised, 'Yeah? And what’s brought that on? Abbie will be thrilled, of course, but… is everything okay?’

He perched himself on one of your breakfast island stools, suddenly very interested in picking at the label of his water bottle, 'It’s just been a rough year with the whole Jenny thing. I need to refocus, get back to me. Spend some real quality time with my family instead of flitting in for a week every month. You shouldn’t have to put a question mark in every calendar entry. I should just be here.’

An edge of frustration creeped into his voice at the end and your heart went out to him. Balancing being an actor in Hollywood and a dad in Boston hadn’t always been the easiest of situations.

'Hey, we’ve both done our absolute best for her. You’ve supported her far more than some of her friends’ fathers who live in the same house as them, I can tell you that for certain! There’s no need to beat yourself up, she knows you worship the ground she walks on, just like she does for you.’

It wasn’t just words, it was the truth. Chris had worked hard to make sure Abbie felt like he was a consistent presence in her life. He knew it took far more than simply throwing gifts and money at her. Her parents might not have been together, but they were united and she knew full well how much they both loved her.

Chris looked up at you then, a half smile ghosting his features at your words before turning serious again.

'I just don’t want her to get to eighteen and I suddenly regret not being here more. Remember when she was born? I said I’d be there for everything.’

'You’ve been here enough to make her happy Chris, I promise,’ you placed a comforting hand on his arm.

'She’s my world, and she deserves to have me around more.’

'Listen, I’m not going to stand here and say I don’t think this is a good idea. She’s going to be beside herself when she finds out. I think it’s great! Just don’t be so harsh to yourself. You’re a great dad and she’s lucky to have you.’

'I’m lucky to have her,’ he did smile then, properly, 'And you.’

'Yeah, we make a pretty good team,’ you returned his smile.

'Do you think we work so well because we’re not in a relationship?’ The mood in the kitchen was back to being light and you moved to the counter to grab the tin of cookies you’d made earlier.

'I think I can say, without a doubt in my mind, unequivocally yes.’

He laughed at your comment and you slid the tin across to him, 'For you and Abbie and your inevitable movie night later.’

He prised the lid open and leaned forward to smell the baked goods, groaning as the scent of sugar and chocolate hit him.

'Oh my god, my trainer is literally going to beat me next week. Remind me again why I never married you?’

A peal of laughter broke from you, 'Because we were just friends with benefits until you knocked me up, dumb ass.’

***

Having Chris back in Boston did turn out to be a really great thing for Abbie. She saw him so much more and with him came his family, her grandparents and aunties and uncle and cousins. She always had them in her life, of course, but having Chris just made that link and bond even stronger.

This was exactly why you were dreading Christmas.

Christmas had always been a day for the two of you primarily. Chris was generally at his mom’s on Christmas Day, with the rest of his siblings and their children, so Abbie usually spent Christmas Eve at her grandmother’s and woke up there with her cousins for presents, but by midday, Chris would have dropped her off back at home and the rest of the day would be yours to spend together, opening more presents, watching DVDs and eating far too much turkey and playing with all the toys and games she had received.

But now, things were different. Chris was a much more permanent fixture in your lives and your instincts told you that he was going to ask if Abbie could spend Christmas with him and all his family. You couldn’t begrudge her it either: who wouldn’t want to spend Christmas Day surrounded by their family. Their household was large and chaotic and noisy, but it was also a lot of fun and full of traditions. Abbie would have a great time, but you’d miss her so much. You could go to your own parents, of course, or spend the day with your sister and her family. It’s not like you had nowhere to go. But you would miss your own little traditions that you’d created with your daughter over the years. She was growing up, however, and she could make her own decision about it.

It still didn’t stop the empty feeling in the pit of your stomach when Chris mentioned Christmas as he sat at your kitchen one evening with you and Abbie. He’d been with the two of you to see her play a soccer game and had stopped by for take out afterwards on Abbie’s insistence.

'So, I was talking to my mom and we were wondering about Christmas this year…’

'Hmm?’ you indicated you were listening at least even though you hoped the actual words wouldn’t be spoken.

’… it could be nice if we spend Christmas together, you know, instead of shuttling Abbie back before lunch. Don’t worry if it’s a problem, it was just an idea,’ he spoke the last part quickly, as if he’d expected you to make some excuse as soon as he got the words out.

'Yes! Oh my god, please can I go to grandma’s?!’ Abbie immediately responded.

'Abs, It’s up to your mom, don’t forget,’ Chris warned her.

'I think… I think that’s really great idea. I’m sure you’ll all have an amazing time!’ Your voice was weirdly high pitched as you struggled to try and not betray your disappointment.

You heard a snicker coming from Chris’ direction and when you looked at him, shooting daggers, your first thought was to be affronted. How could he possibly find leaving you without your daughter on Christmas Day funny?! But before you could make some pithy remark, he spoke again.

'You’ll be there too, of course.’

'Yeah mom, you’ll be there too, right?’

They both looked at you expectantly from across the table, identical expressions on their faces, and your heart soared.

’…of course I will, baby girl!’

As soon as Abbie went back to eating, you mouthed a thank you at Chris but he just furrowed his brow slightly and shook his head quickly as he plucked at his noodles with chopsticks, as if to say 'you’ve got nothing to thank me for.’

***

It was only six weeks until Christmas when your phone rang one Saturday morning. Glancing down at the screen you saw 'Baby Daddy’ and smiled as your rolled your eyes. Someone had managed to get hold of your phone. Again. You swiped to answer and immediately held the handset to your ear.

'I better be in your contacts as 'Baby Mama’ and I hope that whenever I call, you’ve got a girl with you.’

You heard him chuckle down the line, 'Only just seen that, huh?’

'Yes! Imagine if I was on a date and the guy saw! How am I supposed to explain that one away?’

’…are you on a date?’

'No, but that’s-’

'Listen, if a guy is getting sneaky looks at your phone on the first date, then he’s probably not for you.’

'Well, we can’t all be that choosy, can we?’

'You certainly can,’ was his immediate response, 'Don’t settle for anything less than perfection.’

'Oh great, I’ll just resign myself to being alone for the rest of my life then,’ you tried for a small laugh but it sounded hollow even to you. This conversation was getting deep fast.

'You’re not alone. You’ve got Abbie,’ he offered, and then added in a quiet voice, 'And me.’

It’s not the same though, you wanted to tell him but you also wanted to end this line of thinking and change the conversation immediately.

'Did you call for something?’

'Oh… yeah,’ he seemed to remember himself, 'I was wondering if we could go Christmas present shopping for Abbie.’

'We?’

'Yeah, she’s got Christmas show rehearsals all day, right? I was hoping you could help me out.’

'You don’t need my help, you always get her great presents!’

'It feels different somehow this year. I don’t know, more… moving back has made such a difference, I feel like I’m really truly cemented in her life now.’

'Chris,’ your voice was soft, 'It’s always been that way.’

'I know, I know, but I just love that I don’t have to be a visiting dad or a Skype dad anymore. I’m here, in the flesh, for her whenever she needs me and I want to get her something to reflect that.’

Your heart warmed for him. You knew the change in circumstances had been a happy transition for Abbie, but you didn’t think about how much it had affected Chris too.

'Okay, I’ll get my thinking cap on. What time shall we meet?’

'I’ll come pick you up in… an hour, say? Then we can go and collect Abbie afterwards. I feel like taking my girls out for burgers.’

You wondered idly if he realised how he sounded when he said 'my girls.’ A butterfly-like feeling rose in your belly and you quickly squashed it down. It did no good to think on the past. What you had now was good, it worked, and you intended to keep it that way, for Abbie’s sake. You and Chris had never been destined to be together, not properly. There was only ever one thing keeping you connected and it was your daughter. Without her, you would have parted ways a long time ago, probably never to see each other again. So when Chris said things like 'my girls,’ you needed to remember he didn’t mean it like you belonged to him or with him, just that you were a girl in his life, who happened to be the mother of his only child.

'Okay, I’ll be ready. Burgers are on you though. And I’m ordering sides. And dessert.’

He laughed, 'Whatever you want. See you in an hour.’

***

'Ten’s a weird age,’ Chris mused as you wandered the mall together, 'Especially for her. She seems so grown up sometimes.’

'I know. She seems too old for toys but too young to not have them. What about crafty things? She likes art and making stuff.’

'Anyone could get her that though. What can I get her that’s special?’

’…I might have an idea. Come with me.’

'Lead the way, oh wise one.’

He followed you dutifully through the mall until you came to a jewellery store.

'Isn’t she a little young for jewellery as a gift? Shouldn’t jewellery be from, like, Tiffany’s or Cartier or somewhere?’

You looked at him, baffled, 'You do realise those two questions completely contradict each other right? She’s ten, she won’t know the difference, and she definitely won’t care if it’s from Tiffany’s. But she also looks after her things now, she quite precious about it so I think jewellery would be nice. Plus, check these out,’ you pointed to some delicate necklaces on display with pendants in various shapes, 'You can get them personalised with an engraving on the back and have pictures put inside.’

'A locket?’ You could tell he was starting to see the appeal.

'Yeah, you could have a picture of the two of you inside, and then she’s always got you with her, even when you’re away for work or whatever.’

'You are a genius,’ Chris declared, making his way inside. 'Turns out you’re not just a pretty face.’

You gave him an affronted shove to the shoulder but he hooked his hand around your arm, pulling you into the shop with him.

The clerk was immediately by your side, asking if you needed help.

'We’re looking for a keepsake gift for our daughter…’

You left Chris to it and wandered off to look at all the beautiful pieces on display. It had been so long since someone had bought you jewellery. You’d had a few boyfriends over the years but just one that lasted longer than six months. It had been nigh on impossible when Abbie was a baby and as she got older, and dating should have become easier, you found that explaining the situation was difficult. Given Chris’ job, you had to work hard to protect the privacy of both your daughter and her father, and more often than not, you found your own wants and needs played second fiddle.

Chris’ relationships had been well publicised, of course, but he kept Abbie out of it all for the most part. Jenny had been the exception. She was a Boston girl too and was less 'Hollywoodised’ than some of his previous choices. She’d gone on the family Disney trip that year and by all accounts, had been perfectly lovely to Abbie. She’d been disappointed when her dad and Jenny broke up shortly after but Chris made sure Abbie knew it was nothing to do with her, that Jenny adored her but sometimes adults just couldn’t work it out.

As Abbie had gotten older, Chris had taken her to a few premieres as his 'date’, only ever to events that were controlled where there was plenty of other stuff going on so that they wouldn’t be the sole focus of the attention. He figured the interest in his life and with his daughter was inevitable and not going anywhere so he’d give enough to satisfy the need for pictures and information, and hoped that that was enough to keep them off her back when she was just at home, being a kid and growing up.

She did have a weird sort of 'in between’ life, but you supposed she had the best of both worlds. She could enjoy the nice bits that came with her dad’s fame, but she still had privacy and a safe place at home where she could grow up relatively normally and stay grounded. You and Chris had both sworn when she was born you wouldn’t let her be negatively impacted by his fame, and you thought you’d done an okay job so far.

'What do you think of this one?’ Chris’ voice and appearance at your side shook you from your reverie.

He held a velvet cushion in his palm with a delicate, heart-shaped locket. It was rounded at the edges and the join was almost invisible. It was smooth, bright gold and didn’t have all the fancy decoration you’d seen on some of them. It was perfect, simple and charming and, importantly, wearable. Not too flashy or too old. Just right for a little girl’s first piece of jewellery from her father.

'She’ll love it, without a doubt,’ you beamed up at him, 'Do you know what picture you’re going get?’

'Yep, I decided that first. I’ve already emailed it across. This one will have a picture in one side and an engraving on the other.’

'Perfect. Good choice!’

'Just wanted your approval before I paid. I’ll go get settled up.’

You watched him walk back to the counter, wondering how you and Abbie ended up so lucky. The situation you found yourself in ten years ago could have gone so wrong, but somehow, somehow, you became an unconventional, sometimes dysfunctional, but generally happy family.

***

Christmas Eve rolled around so quickly. You and Chris, along with all the other family members that would be at Lisa’s on Christmas Eve and staying over, had subtly squirrelled away the kids presents in various hiding places in her house so that by the time Christmas morning rolled around, the kids would be none the wiser. You’d driven carefully through snow in the afternoon, trunk loaded with your overnight bags and Abbie in the passenger seat, more excited than she could bear.

'I’m so happy you’re coming today as well mom, and I’m so excited to spend the day at Grandma’s tomorrow,’ she was practically bouncing in her seat.

'You could have stayed all the other times baby, if you wanted. You should have said.’

'Yeah, but you wouldn’t have wanted to stay overnight at Grandma’s and I wanted to spend time with you on Christmas too,’ Abbie reasoned.

'I’m staying over this time,’ you said in question to her idea that you wouldn’t.

'Yeah, but it’s different now dad’s home, isn’t it? You two are closer and we all spend more time together. And he hasn’t got a girlfriend,’ she shrugged nonchalantly as you blinked in surprise.

When did your little girl get so astute?

'Abs, your dad having or not having a girlfriend has nothing to do with anything. Your dad and I are friends and we care about each other and you, but that’s as far as it goes. We’ll always do what is best for you and that means us getting along and working together.’

'Oh mom,’ she sounded far too old for her years and you almost laughed, 'You’re so silly. You must have liked each other at some time or you wouldn’t have me at all, would you? Only married people or boyfriends and girlfriends have babies.’

Jesus Christ. You didn’t even know what to do with this conversation. Thank god you were turning into Lisa’s street and you were almost at your destination.

'I can see grandma’s house!’

And just like that, she was distracted, leaving you to your own confusing thoughts.

***

The house was manic. It was a sea of decorations and sweaters and food and drinks, all soundtracked by classic Christmas songs. Dodger was tap dancing with excitement around Abbie’s feet and he had been dutifully following the kids around as they ran and played, the excitement of what was to come tomorrow getting them all worked up. There was loud conversation and laughter from everywhere.

You caught up with Carly, Chris’ sister, in the kitchen, telling her about the surprising and hilarious conversation with your daughter and Carly laughed along with you, knowing all too well how awkward child-led conversations can get. But then her questioning turned more serious.

'Do you really never wonder what it would be like though?’ She spoke quietly next to you, your heads close together, each clutching a glass of wine.

'Wonder about what?’

'About you and Chris. What it would have been like?’

You shook your head vigorously, 'No, what’s the point? We would never have worked out. I’d probably have never seen him again if it weren’t for Abbie.’

'You did have Abbie and you did see him again. Is there really nothing there?’

You glanced over through the doorway into the living room. Chris was helping the kids put the decorations back on the tree after one of them had wound Dodger up too much getting him to jump for a toy and he’d stumbled backwards into the tree and knocking a whole host of ornaments off. Some of them were old and had been on the tree for decades, and Chris had a story connected to each one. The kids were rapt with attention and you watched as he scooped Abbie up so she could place a heavy Beauty and the Beast ornament on a thicker branch so it wouldn’t fall again.

'Carly, I… he’s the father of my little girl. I love him deeply, I do, but I can’t be in love with him. He’s an amazing dad to Abbie, and that’s all I need from him. He moved back here to spend more time with her and they have a great relationship. Nothing should get in the way of that.’

'Funny, he told me that too, but the more I see, the more I think it wasn’t just Abbie he came back for,’ she spoke cryptically and you whipped your head to look at her, shocked, but her attention had been caught by one of her sons and she was gone, dragged away to go and look at something he’d done and was obviously very proud of.

You were frozen. What did she mean? What else would Chris come back for? She couldn’t mean you, could she? You looked back at Chris, still holding Abbie, only to find your gaze caught by his own. He smiled warmly and whispered something in Abbie’s ear before setting her down. She ran over to you, grabbing your hand in hers.

'Mom, come and look at the baubles dad’s been telling me about. Do you know grandma got some of them for his first Christmas?! They’re soooooooo old…’ she trailed off as she pulled you into the living room.

'Hey! Less of the old, thank you very much! Go and look after your cousins before you wound my pride anymore!’ He spoke dramatically to make her laugh as she skipped away before turning to you, 'You okay? You seem quiet.’

'Yeah, I’m fine,’ you replied with what you hoped seemed like confidence as you resolved to pack away any of those strange thoughts Carly had conjured up, 'It’s just… you know… a lot different to my usual Christmas Eves!’

His face turned serious, 'I should have invited you before now. I don’t know why I didn’t, seems obvious now.’

'Chris, don’t worry about it. You’ve got your own life with Abbie and you deserved that time together.’

'You know me and Abbie aren’t separate from you and Abbie, right? We’re a unit, a family.’

'I know that,’ you nodded, probably sounding just as unsure as you felt.

'You’re so important to me, so important,’ he took your hand that wasn’t holding a wine glass and squeezed it tightly.

You could feel your face burning up and between Abbie’s conversation in the car, Carly’s in the kitchen and now this, you didn’t know what or how to feel anymore. You were so confused and the noise and the wine and the warmth in the house wasn’t helping. It was making you feel like you had a place here, and you didn’t. You were a guest, that was all.

You tried to make your voice light and joking, 'I know, dumb ass. I should hope so, being your baby mama and all.’

It didn’t draw a smile from him however and he immediately began to try and contradict you, eyes intent on yours, his thumb running over your knuckles, 'No, not just-’

'Chris! Can you run to the store?’ Lisa’s panicked voice could be heard from the pantry and Chris went immediately to see what was wrong.

You breathed a sigh of relief, nervous nausea dissipating immediately. These serious conversations were getting to be way too much.

'Has anyone seen my keys?’ He spoke loudly as he entered the room again. You began to look around, grateful for something to do and spotted them on the mantel over the fireplace. You plucked them up and placed them in his hand.

He did smile then, chucking a thumb over his shoulder in the direction of where his mom had been, but he spoke to the room rather than just to you, 'She’s forgotten the bacon for the pigs in blankets for tomorrow. I’ll be back in a little while.’

***

You had used the reprieve to compose yourself, sneaking off to the bathroom to splash some cool water on your face and take a few deep breaths. All kinds of things had been stirred up, feelings you thought had been long since buried and forgotten.

It was just Christmas sentimentality, you told yourself. You needed to get through the holidays and then just get back to how the way things had been. Maybe you needed to pull away from Chris for a little while, encourage him to do more with Abbie by herself. Maybe you could get a dating app and see what was out there. Just get through the holidays.

When you emerged, everything was as it had been. No one had noticed your absence, or your flustered state, and you were glad. You went through to the kitchen to see if Lisa needed any help and she set you to work filling a chocolate Swiss roll with frosting. You weren’t really sure who the Swiss roll was for, or when it was supposed to be eaten, because there seemed to be a million cakes and desserts around the place, but you did as you were told.

'Oh hell, there’s no herbs for the stuffing! Where has my head been this year? Could you be a sweetheart and give Chris a call? Tell him to pick up some fresh herbs while he’s at the store. I don’t know where my phone is, it’s around this place somewhere…’

'Sure,’ you agreed, wiping your hands on a tea towel before pulling your phone from the back pocket of your jeans. You pressed 'Baby Daddy’ on the recent contacts and held it to your ear, only to hear a phone ringing somewhere in your vicinity. You walked towards the sound, and on seeing the glowing screen, realised that Chris had stupidly left his phone on the kitchen counter.

'What an idi-’ but you were cut off when you saw the text on the screen.

'What’s he done?’ Lisa called from behind you but you barely noticed, disbelieving gaze glued to the illuminated screen of Chris’ phone as you let it ring out.

There, in glowing white letters against black as you called him, was the contact name he had given you.

Resolution 2018: Marry her.

***

You heard the front door slam shut and knew that Chris must have arrived back. You were sat in dim lamplight in the room Lisa had given you for the night, thoughts swirling and colliding. You didn’t know how to feel and upon seeing the name you’d been given, ran immediately from the room, fleeing upstairs where the noise of the family was muffled and the air was cooler.

Lisa had followed you up quietly, having seen the glowing screen over your shoulder and knowing instantly what was wrong. She paused at the door, purposefully not being intrusive.

'Is it a joke!?’ You asked her, unable to come up with any other explanation.

'No, sweetheart. He would never… he loves you far too much.’

A sob shuddered from your body then, all the emotions crashing at once, and Lisa rushed to your side, sitting down on the mattress with you and winding an arm around your shoulders.

'Hey now, there’s no need to cry. You’ve got some talking to do but I’m sure it will all work out,’ her hand smoothed comforting motions against your arm as she tucked your head under her chin, cradling you like you were a child, 'You love him too, right?’

You nodded against her, unable to get your words out.

'You two have been so wrapped up in Abbie that for the longest time, I don’t think either of you even considered that you could make each other happy too.’

That just made you cry harder. So much wasted time.

'You stay here where it’s quiet. I’m sure he’ll find you soon enough.’

Lisa had left you to your solitude and incredibly, within the twenty or so minutes between Lisa leaving and Chris arriving back home, you’d manage to go from being sad and helpless to angry. You were really angry. How could he keep this from you? Why would he make jokes about you working because you weren’t in a relationship? Why would he change his name in your phone to Baby Daddy? Why would he cheapen your feelings by implying he’d marry you for your baking, for God's sake?

So when you heard his footsteps clearing the stairs two at a time, you were ready for a fight. You deserved an explanation. But then he appeared at the door, his figure taking up the majority of the space.

You didn’t say anything. Just sat there, staring steadily at the floor, not trusting yourself to look up.

He cleared his throat in the silence and tried to break the ice, 'So, I left my phone behind, as it turns out.’

You looked up sharply then. Did he expect you to laugh? But you saw his eyes, worried and nervous, and you realised he’d been testing the water with all of those stupid comments. He was just as scared as you were about these feelings and what they meant.

'How long?’ You wanted to know, 'How long have I been alone when we could have been together?’

Your voice broke at the end as another wave of tears started up and he lurched forwards, crouching down in front of you, taking your hands in his and looking up at you.

'I didn’t realise, I swear to you. I was too stupid, too young, too dumb and too far away to see what I had. I wasn’t what you needed back then. I could just about get myself together enough to be a half decent human being for Abbie.’

'Did you move here just for her, like you told me?’

'I want us to be a family. A real family. Where we all live in the same house and eat all our meals together, and have movies nights snuggled under a blanket. I want to delete that stupid digital calendar and put a paper one on the fridge because we’ll all see it there. I want all of that, but I also want you, more than I ever thought possible. I want to kiss you and fall asleep with you and wake up with you and make love to you and have a billion more babies with you. I want to argue and then make up, I want you to tell me off for not doing the laundry right or for skipping my turn doing the dishes.’

You couldn't help the laugh that bubbled from you, even as the tears slid down your cheeks. He reached up from his crouched position to tuck your hair behind your ears, removing the curtain that protected you from him.

'Look at me,’ he whispered and you tentatively shifted your gaze to his.

'I love you, and I’ve come to realise that I think I always have. I just didn’t have anything to offer you. I’m not really sure I have much more now, but I can promise you that I will take care of you, be true to you, I will worship the ground upon which you walk, if you’ll let me.’

'Chris… there’s so much at stake here. What if we don’t work out? What’s that going to do to Abbie?’ you whispered to him, not wanting to break to spell with reality but needing to, for Abbie’s sake and for yours.

'I’ve been thinking about this. And everything happens for a reason, right? If we’d never had Abbie, we probably would have parted ways eventually, and we’d have moved on. I think the universe sent Abbie to us, to make sure we had a reason to stay connected until I could get my shit together to be good enough for you.’

You barked a sniffly laugh again. That was so like Chris. Of course it was the universe.

'And have you got your shit together now?’ You asked.

'Baby, my world revolves around you and our daughter. I’m not the same guy I was ten years ago, I know that for certain. It’s you, me and Abbie, together, from now, if you’ll agree.’

You sighed, feeling fresh sobs creeping through your chest, but sobs of happiness this time you thought. It had been such a long time.

It only took the briefest of nods to make Chris tug you down to the floor with him, crashing his mouth against yours. It was the same, but different as you explored each other. He was so familiar to you, but entirely new at the same time and you poured every bit of emotion you had into it, wrapping your hands tightly around his jaw, holding him fast. He held your body to his, unable to get close enough and eventually he pulled back to look you in the face, swiping at your remaining tears with his thumbs.

'Mom? Dad?’ A quiet, confused voice sounded from the doorway, 'What’s going on?’

You both snapped your heads towards the sound to see a rather vulnerable looking Abbie standing there.

'Oh baby girl, come here,’ Chris held out his hand towards her with a smile and she ran to you both, throwing herself into your embrace. You both pulled her in, hugging her between you, planting kisses against her hair.

'This is the best Christmas present ever,’ her muffled voice came from somewhere under your arms and you beamed at Chris, leaving over her to kiss him chastely.

'I agree,’ you spoke against his mouth.

***

The next morning, you were tired, there were no two ways about it. The kids had been told absolutely no movement before 7am, and Abbie had helped by setting an alarm before they all settled down to their Christmas Eve sleepover in the bedroom designated the 'Grandkids’ room’.

But of course, at the stroke of 7am precisely, a hoard of excited children could be heard running through the upstairs rooms, waking disgruntled parents and grandparents. Abbie launched herself into your bed and flopped against the pillows.

'Merry Christmas mom! Where’s dad?’

'Merry Christmas sweetheart. I guess he’s in his room.’

’… but why? Aren’t you together now? Boyfriends and girlfriends sleep in the same bed.’

Not again, you thought, how were you going to handle this one? Would a ten year old understand the concept of taking it slow?

You'd stayed up together, talking, long after the rest of the household had gone to sleep. You knew each other so well, but until recently, it had always been within the context of Abbie. Now, however, you had the opportunity to get to know each other as adults, but as happy and as heady as you were, even the two of you knew that sleeping in the same bed for the first time in over a decade in his mom’s house would be a mistake. So in the early hours, he’d slipped off to his own bed to get a few hours of sleep before the onslaught began.

'We need a bit of time to get used to being together first,’ Chris’ deep voice rumbled from the door from where Abbie had left it open. His hair was messy from sleep and he yawned as he padded towards the bed, tucking himself in behind Abbie, sandwiching her between her parents. 'And you probably need a bit of time to get used to it too.’

'Daaaadddd, no I don’t! I think this is amazing. Look, we can have cuddles in bed together. We couldn’t do this before!’

You bit your lip to keep from laughing as Chris’ raised his eyebrow at you over her head.

Thankfully, you were saved by a stampede of Chris’ niece and nephews in the room.

'Come on Abbie! Let’s go and see if he’s been!’

***

A couple of hours later, you were all ensconced in the living room on the floor, passing presents to their intended receivers as the kids opened their gifts. Chris had passed you a steaming cup of coffee early on and you smiled at him gratefully as he sunk down next to you. You pretended to ignore the happy glances of his mom and siblings as you leaned against his arm and he immediately wrapped his arm around you.

The morning was full of excited, grateful yells and whoops as the kids discovered items they’d written on their lists, punctuated by hugs and kisses of thanks. Occasionally, the kids remembered to pass some back for the grown ups too.

You’d had way more than you expected, receiving a gift from everyone in the family and then numerous packages all from Abbie, although you heavily suspected a certain father had taken her on shopping trip for them all. You whispered your thanks to Chris for each one and he pretended to not know a thing about it.

Eventually, Abbie got to a small gift bag that you guessed must have contained her necklace and you were excited to see her open it.

'Oh, there’s a matching bag here, with your name on mom. It’s from dad,’ she glanced at the tag as she passed it to you.

You looked at him in surprise, thinking there couldn’t possibly be more but he just gave you a bashful smile. You delved in and pulled out a flat, square velvet box, just bigger than your palm, and glancing over at Abbie, you saw she had an exact replica.

Confusion flitting across your face, you popped the lid open, you found the same heart shaped locket he’d showed you in the shop. Before you could question it, Abbie’s voice could be heard exclaiming at the side of you.

'Oh my god, I love it! Dad, thank you! It’s so cute. Look mom, it’s got a picture of us inside. And some writing!’

You look over at what she was showing you, seeing the picture was one of the three of you, not just Abbie and Chris as you had expected, taken next to the ice rink in New York when you’d taken Abbie to meet Chris there during a press tour. The inscription read 'My heart is always full when you are near. All my love, Dad’ and you felt tears prick your eyes.

'It’s beautiful, honey,’ you told her sincerely as she hugged Chris.

While they were both distracted, you picked up your own locket, intrigued as to what could be inside. You carefully opened it up and your breath caught in your throat. A hand flew to your chest as an involuntarily sob heaved from you.

The picture was almost the same as ones you’d seen a hundred times before: the three of you, in the hospital when Abbie had just been born. She was nestled against you in her swaddle and her tiny fingers were wrapped around Chris’ little finger. He perched at the side of you, arm around your shoulders and on all the photos you had seen, you both gazed down, joyful and elated, enamoured with the tiny bundle in your arms.

But on this version of the photo, one you had never seen before, you gazed down at a newborn Abbie and Chris, well Chris gazed at you. Still just as joyful, still just as elated.

And the inscription read, in beautiful loopy script:

Since then. All my love, Chris

#chris evans #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans imagine #chris evans x you #chris evans x reader

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agilenano · 3 years

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Agilenano - News: My Favorite Home Gear.

*Heads up: Today (November 12th) only, Boll & Branch is offering 20% off sitewide! Discount is applied at checkout. I mention my beloved sheeting AND bed blanket below — great opportunity to buy for yourself or as a gift.

Like all of you, I have spent far more time at home than I have in my entire life this year, and it has given rise to some intense organization projects as well as a new appreciation for the absolute best gear at home. Below, sharing my favorite items for a comfortable and well-maintained home:

MIELE VACUUM // Trust me when I say this is the place to invest. I had been getting by with a cordless option and with a dog, children, and heavy foot traffic in our tiny apartment, an upgrade to a proper Miele was the absolute best thing I could have done for everyone. It is so powerful, has multiple settings (for rugs, upholstered furniture, hardwood floors), and is brilliantly designed. These are built to last. Absolutely worth every penny. I also remember doing a lot of research to figure out the difference between their various models/lines, which are very confusing and unnecessary in my opinion, and this is the exact model I landed on: the perfect balance between utility/versatility for different floors and price.

SIMPLE HUMAN RECYCLER (ALSO AVAIL ON AMAZON) // A well-designed and sleek-looking divided recycler big enough for all the glassware, plastic, and cardboard we go through in our busy family. I specifically love the plastic “liner” bin that enables me to easily lift that piece out and carry it to the bigger recycling bins in our building. It also opens with the tap of a foot, the lid can be clicked into an upright position when removing the bag/bin, and the brushed stainless steel exterior means that it’s fairly resistant to smudges and fingerprints.

RUG PADS // These extend the life of your rug, protect your floors, add cushioning, and — most importantly — prevent rug slippage/movement. When I finally bought these for all of the rugs in my home, I felt like I’d crossed a new threshold into adulthood. (My favorite rugs here.)

PHILIPS HUE BULBS // We have, over time, as bulbs have died, installed Philips Hue bulbs in most of the lights in our home. These are controlled via our smartphones (and Siri, via our HomePod), where we have them configured to turn on and dim on a schedule that mirrors our lifestyle. It feels like the future to walk into a room and say: “Hey Siri, turn on the lights in the master bedroom,” and suddenly they are on. Or “Hey Siri, dim the dining room lights to 30%” and all of the lights go down to a romantic candlelit effect. You can also change the warmth/color of the lights. Often we like really bright light in the morning, but warm yellow tones in the evening. The starter kit might make a great gift for a new homeowner or a tech-loving friend.

EERO WIFI MESH NETWORK // Has given us the gift of faster, more reliable, and easier-to-monitor Internet. This replaces your old WiFi router and includes an app that enables you to track Internet speed, which has been handy whenever there has been an issue with the provider. (We can just show the discrepancy between the speed they promise and the speed we are getting.). Bonus: it looks good and the beacons double as nightlights.

O-CEDAR SPONGES // These are the best sponges I’ve ever used. They are thick, sturdy, absorbent, non-scratch, and they also bend/give nicely. Can you tell I spend a lot of time washing dishes? (We cook A LOT at home!)

OXO SHOWER CADDY // A strange thing to love, but this is just so well-designed! It never slips/slides around, has shelves at the perfect height (tall enough for most shampoo bottles), a hook for a loofah, and a soap tray.

TOSCA STORAGE BINS // J’adore these (dare I say it?) elegant bins for housing bulkier items in our pantry section.

UNDERBED SHOE STORAGE // Fellow women short on closet space: these have been my saving grace. The thing I love best about them is that they are very shallow in height, and my bed affords the slightest of underbed clearance! This was one of the only models I could find that would actually fit under the bed. I like that they keep all my beloved shoes dust and debris-free!

WHITE UTILITY BINS // Used for countless purposes in every closet I have. Great for organizing spices, holding dog gear, housing “backstock” lightbulbs and batteries, etc. Inexpensive, easy to clean, waterproof. (These are great for under-sink areas for that reason, too.)

MICROFIBER CLEANING TOWELS // I bought these begrudgingly when, after we’d fully moved out of our former apartment, I returned to supervise a crew of housekeepers to conduct a deep clean of the emptied apartment, per our lease. When I arrived, after unpleasantly schlepping a ton of gear and supplies on the Subway, I realized I’d forgotten rags to clean with. I dashed out to the local Bed, Bath, and Beyond, and they only had these. WOW. What a happy accident — these are a fantastic tool to clean with. I love that they dust even delicate surfaces (like porcelain, TV screens, Mr. Magpie’s expensive acoustics equipment) but can also be used with cleaning products on wood, marble, glass, etc. They are also deceptively absorbent without ever becoming sopping wet. I don’t understand where the liquid goes! Anyhow, they are fantastic!

BROTHER LABELMAKER // I use this vigor and joy. So handy for spice jars (label the tops!), drawers of the acrylic cube I use to organize first aid and medicine, and even the white bins above (i.e., LIGHTBULBS, DOG GEAR, etc.). No question about where things belong. (If you’re not a labelmaker kind of gal, these pre-written tags covering many common pantry items might be your ticket.)

DRAWER DIVIDERS AND SHELF DIVIDERS // These empower me to keep clothes super-tidy. This underwear drawer organizer also wins my respect — keeps everything so organized and forces me to properly fold and roll my undies. (My favorite undergarments here.)

ROWENTA IRON // Just the absolute best. I thought I was “bad” at ironing until I bought this iron.

BOLL AND BRANCH SHEETING AND BED BLANKET // I know this feels more “design” than “utility,” but these sheets truly enhanced our sleeping experience. They are cool and ultra-soft, and the blanket is one of my absolute favorite items I’ve bought this year. Ultra-soft and warm and just the perfect weight.

FEATHERED FRIENDS DOWN COMFORTER // Deliciously fluffy with just the right amount of heft. Like sleeping in a cloud.

XTREME COMFORTS MEMORY FOAM PILLOWS // Just try it. It is like heaven! You can remove the fill to your liking, but this pillow never gets hot and always feels like a dream.

STORI PLASTIC ORGANIZERS // Love these in my cabinets and drawers for keeping everything organized/jumble-free.

P.S. My favorite gear for small spaces and little luxuries for even the tiniest of homes.

P.P.S. Recent tabletop and home decor finds for under $100.

P.P.P.S. Thoughts on mom guilt.

The post My Favorite Home Gear. appeared first on The Fashion Magpie.

Agilenano - News from Agilenano from shopsnetwork (4 sites) https://agilenano.com/blogs/news/my-favorite-home-gear

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talesofmundanemagic · 7 years

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Gertie gets her license

Gertie looked up at the entrance to the Skyline stadium. Normally, when she was in the sports arena of the magical city above the clouds, it was to see a game of basketball with virtually no limits on magic, or a gladiator battle (with safety spells implemented and a healer present), or a dragon presentation.

This time, all the bleachers had been pushed back into the walls, and the floor was lined with little sound-proof cubicles. Inside each was a mini kitchen set up via magic, and a proctor waiting for their examinee.

It was the day of the Enchantment Apprenticeship License Exam.

The exam was an international event, spanning across more than seventy locations throughout the twenty countries that recognized the exam as a fitting qualification for an apprenticeship. All over the world, hopefuls were taking the test that Gertie was about to embark on.

Gertie checked herself in for the afternoon test block she had signed up for. It was right after the lunch break in the test schedule - there was no way she was risking the license she’d been working towards for the last two years on a cranky proctor who was daydreaming of macaroni and cheese.

The man at the sign-in table took her cellphone and backpack to be locked away and gave her her assigned cubicle number. Gertie thanked him, took a deep breath, and descended the stairs to find her testing spot.

She had stored plenty of power in her keychain accessories, practiced her planned enchantment hundreds of times, and wore her lucky cloche hat. It wasn’t magical - that wasn’t allowed in exams - but Gertie always did well on tests when she wore it. She was ready, she told herself. She would be fine.

“Miss Mallon?” asked the woman standing in her assigned cubicle with a clipboard.

Gertie nodded.

“I’m going to scan you for magical objects.” She held up a wand to do so.

“I have my keychains, for power, since I’m not a witch,” Gertie said, pulling them out for the proctor to see. She had written this on her application, so it wasn’t a surprise.

“Set them down there.” The proctor nodded to the table where a whole slew of potion ingredients sat.

Gertie did so.

The proctor took her wand and did a quick scan from the floor, over Gertie’s left shoulder, head, right shoulder, and back to the ground.

She then waved the wand over Gertie’s keychains, testing them for any enchantments as well.

“Looks good. Let’s get started.”

Gertie picked up her keychains again and put them back into her pocket.

Her proctor read from a clipboard. “Your self-selected enchantment is the Floating Bag. We have provided you with everything you will need. You have an hour and a half to complete your enchantment. Begin.”

Gertie went straight to the stack of equipment in the corner. She chose a cast iron cauldron that was the same size she’d practiced with in her dorm room. She put it on the stove and cranked the heat to medium.

A bottle of cloud extract was sitting, tall and with a no-drip spout, on the back corner of the table laden with ingredients. Gertie picked it up and coated the bottom of her cauldron with the wispy white gel. Next, she measured out the moonflower pollen, according to the recipe she had memorized, and put it in the extract to sizzle.

While that was going, she started chopping, skinning, and grinding everything she needed. Gertie had found the electric mixer and was whipping up cream from winged cows when disaster struck.

The pollen in the cauldron started popping.

Gertie dropped the bowl of whipped cream onto the table and stared at the pollen that was jumping out of the cauldron. What was going on? She put a splatter screen over the top of the cauldron to keep the pollen from escaping, and picked up the jar she had measured from.

She felt her ears roaring as she stared at it blankly.

Moonflower pollen, aged ten years, the label read. Ten years.

She had been practicing with five.

The pollen popped so high the splatter guard jumped before settling back.

She glanced up. The proctor was taking notes, frowning.

Gertie grit her teeth until her head hurt. She could fix this. She didn’t know much about creating new spells, so she wouldn’t be able to change the actual incantation to suit this new recipe. But maybe she could add something that would counteract the effects of the extra aging.

The test had provided her with more ingredients than she needed, to throw her off in case she hadn’t memorized the right recipe. Maybe something they had given her would actually help.

Gertie glanced over the plethora of ingredients. Snake venom, no. Pie crust, what would that even-? Rice? Yes! Plain old rice! A common ingredient in underwater potions, it normally would do the exact opposite of what Gertie’s enchantment needed.

But normally, she would have used the right pollen.

Carefully, after triple-checking the label, Gertie measured out the proper amount of rice to counteract the aging of the pollen and poured it into the pot.

She turned up the heat and added the rest of the ingredients.

Gertie left her potion to boil and turned to chop up the last item - lavender.

After that was done, there was nothing to do but wait. Well, wait and clean up the space. That was what the provided sink was for, after all.

Once the chopping boards, bowls, knives, and peeler were all clean, the timer rang.

The next step was to soak the bag that she was enchanting in the potion.

But before she did that, Gertie sprinkled the lavender into the mix. The aroma of the herb filled the cubicle, chasing away the odd scent of burnt pollen and silkworm saliva. It wasn’t strictly necessary, but Gertie prefered the smell of her enchantments to not render the objects unusable.

Gertie killed the heat on the stove and dropped her bag in.

She stirred it into the potion with a wooden spoon, drawing power from her keychains as she spoke her spell clearly, since the proctor would grade on pronunciation.

The potion glowed a clear and brilliant green. Perfect.

Gertie used the spoon to fish the bag out of the potion.

There was one last step. Gertie took a deep breath. She used this specific spell every morning when she dried her hair after getting out of the shower. There was nothing to be nervous about, and yet her heart beat so rapidly she thought it would stall.

“Dry,” she commanded in the magical language of Gnaang, flicking the bag and sending the potion flying into the sink, coating it green.

Gertie quickly set the nozzle to rinse the basin, and then held out the dry cloth bag for the proctor to inspect.

The proctor looked at her watch.

“Twenty-six minutes early,” she said, taking note. “But you didn’t wait for it to dry naturally-”

“I’ve tried letting it, like the recipe says,” Gertie quickly said. “I can just barely do it under the time limit. But I had to try using the drying spell, just to see, and it works! The bag still works.”

The proctor looked over her glasses at Gertie. “And why does it work?”

Gertie took a deep breath to keep herself from rambling. “Because the spell imbues the power from the potion into the bag itself, in this case,” Gertie said. “If the potion coating the bag was necessary for peak performance, it would have to be air dried.”

“Correct.” The proctor wrote down some notes. “Now, let’s see if it works. I noticed your mistake with the pollen, but the rice was clever. It should have helped.”

The proctor took the bag and said, “Float,” in Gnaang, releasing the bag in midair. It hung there, as if it had been placed on a table.

The proctor took a step to the left and the bag followed. To the right, the same thing. She started walking away, and the bag floated after her.

The proctor nodded thoughtfully, taking down notes. “You still didn’t follow the recipe, I’m afraid,” she said.

Gertie’s heart fell. Surely her final score would be impacted for not following the exact steps in the approved recipe.

“We both normally get a fifteen minute break before the next part of the test. However, that would be at the end of the hour and a half, which there is still twenty minutes of. Would you like to wait a full thirty minutes or...?”

“I don’t think I can wait that long,” Gertie admitted, anxious to get on with the next part of the test.

The proctor smiled. “Fifteen minutes then.”

Gertie found the bathroom. Her hands shook as she washed them.

One down, one to go.

She returned to her cubicle and sipped water until the proctor returned.

“Alright. Your first enchantment you were able to practice. This one, you have not. We’ve given you all new ingredients.” The proctor gestured to the table. There was no over-aged pollen in sight. “Follow the instructions, use your intuition, and you will hopefully be fine. You have one hour. Good luck.”

She handed Gertie a piece of paper.

Glowing Orchid Encased in Glass, was the recipe title. Sure enough, a beautiful purple orchid sat in a pot in the corner of the mini kitchen’s counter.

Not a very creative recipe name, Gertie thought.

Then she glanced down at the three separate sections of the recipe.

“Balls,” Gertie muttered, and grabbed three separate cauldrons from the corner. All three went on the heat.

She only had an hour and a half to make three different potions? It was madness.

Even more ridiculous was that they didn’t give her the whole recipe. They gave her bits and pieces, and she needed to rely on her potion know-how to complete the recipe.

The first thing under the title was Step 1: Make a coolant, with a list of ingredients and their measurements.

Gertie remembered the word coolant. She had spent a lot of her time watching various potions videos online to try to prepare.

Coolants are the easiest potions in the world! an online potion maker had proclaimed. You just put all your ingredients in the pot, put the lid on, and boil it for thirty minutes until everything’s combined. Then you shove it in the fridge to cool it down and it’s ready!

Gertie measured out all of the coolant’s ingredients and threw them in the cauldron on the back burner of the stove and put the lid on. She set a timer for thirty minutes, and let it do its own thing.

Step 2: Combine the following ingredients to make the clear syrup base for the luminance potion.

This was the potion that would make the orchid glow. Gertie racked her brain - potions that emitted light could be tricky. There were lots of variations, but all needed to be done at a precise temperature to determine what color it would be. Since the recipe specified clear, it meant the lowest of the available temperatures.

Just remember the eight eights, she remembered her potions textbook saying on the subject of potion color. Eighty-eight for black, seventy-eight for purple, sixty-eight for blue, fifty-eight green, forty-eight for for yellow, thirty-eight for orange, twenty-eight for red, eighteen for clear.

Gertie took a deep breath and grinned in relief.

She measured tiny crystals of lightning salt into a cup to pour into the final cauldron and an equal amount of starfruit seeds. She added the required teaspoon of moonshade - a sticky golden syrup - and filled the rest of the cauldron with water.

She stirred it diligently, checking on the nearby coolant with eyes only. She had to keep the glowing potion constantly moving, while checking the temperature on a thermometer and adjusting the stove accordingly to keep it at eighteen degrees.

Finally, the potion for the glow started to thicken and form sparking bubbles.

“Yes!” Gertie fist pumped.

Step 3: When the syrup has begun to bubble, let it boil on the stove for fifteen minutes.

Gertie set a timer for fifteen minutes, and sat down for a moment to catch her breath and read ahead in the recipe.

The fourth step was about adding something to the luminance potion, so Gertie skipped over it.

Step 5: Choose the proper incantation to melt the glass.

Choose the proper…?

Gertie turned the recipe sheet over. On the opposite side was a list of spells. At least they were all in Laux, a language she knew. Of course, this was not a coincidence since she had provided the accredited board with a list of her capabilities when applying to take the test.

Gertie took a deep breath and began translating the spells to the best of her ability. Three she ruled out of being a part of this enchantment altogether - they mentioned eggs and things that weren’t on the ingredients table. One she discovered, upon translating, was for when she had finished brewing the luminance potion. She circled that one for later.

There were three that mentioned glass. One was clearly the end of the enchantment, as it meant the equivalent of “Halt.” The two others were trickier. They were very similar, longer spells, both dealing with the glass. One did have the word for “liquid” in it, so she put a star next to it in the hopes that she was right.

Both timers rang that their potions were ready and Gertie re-read step four.

Step 4: Once the syrup’s bubbles have begun to stack, add one fourth teaspoon of star spider venom and let the potion rest for four minutes.

Gertie stared at the instruction. Venoms were pesky things, very reactive. Usually recipes mentioned not moving the pot, putting on a lid, and using a timer to measure exactly the amount of time it needed to sit.

Gertie checked the clock to see how much time she had left. Twenty minutes. Great.

She returned to the luminance potion. It had boiled so much, it looked like an ambitious bubble bath.

“Bubbles stacking on themselves, check,” Gertie said.

She had no choice but to listen to her intuition, even if it was wrong. She added the final ingredient - the venom of a star spider - and clamped the cauldron’s lid down. She set a timer for four minutes exactly and one for three minutes and fifteen seconds to remind her to come back, and turned her attention to the shards of glass she had been provided with. She needed to magically melt them.

Gertie poured them into the last cauldron she had put to heat on the stove. She spoke the enchantment she had chosen over the glass, and watched as they melted instantly.

“Awesome!” Gertie triumphantly slipped on cauldron mitts, took the mix off the stove and set it next to the provided mold for the final sculpture.

The mold itself was a sphere with a flat bottom, so that the eventual decoration could stand upright. It was made of magically imbued silicone, so it was even more resistant to the heat its contents would bring.

Suddenly the smell of smoke filled the air. Gertie stopped and looked over at the stove.

No, Gertie thought. No no no no no.

The coolant.

She had completely forgotten to take it off the stove and put it in the freezer.

Gertie ran to the stove and looked in the pot. It was crusted black. Nothing was salvageable. She put the entire thing into the sink and ran cold water over it, trying to stop the smoke at the very least.

Gertie stared at the running water, trying to figure a way out. What was she going to do? There was no way she could make a whole new potion. It needed time, not only to combine but to cool. She felt like she had been turned to stone, her heart trying to beat out of her chest.

The three minute and fifteen second timer for the luminance potion rang, and Gertie took a deep breath. She wasn’t going down without a fight.

The proctor made a note, but Gertie didn’t have time to think about her opinion.

Step 6: Remove the luminance potion from the heat and cast the proper incantation that will stabilize it for use.

When the four minute timer rang, Gertie pulled the cauldron off the stove, opened the lid, and spoke the spell she’d circled from the list, the one she hoped would render it stable.

The potion started glowing a solid white color, like she had trapped a star in her cauldron.

Gertie let out a deep breath. That was a very good sign.

She assembled the leftovers of her prepared ingredients that she had made into the first coolant potion. There wasn’t enough to make a whole potion, so a third of the original recipe’s portion would have to do.

She stirred the ingredients together on the stove, trying to force everything to melt as quickly as possible in lieu of it boiling together. When it finally became a thin, watery potion, she took it off the heat and poured it into a metal bowl to suck the heat away. She put the bowl into the freezer, and turned back to deal with the rest of the recipe.

“Five minutes,” the proctor said, checking her timer, a nervous edge to her voice.

Gertie balled her hands into fists, digging her nails into her palms. Fine.

She opened the freezer and put her hands on the bowl. She could still feel the heat emanating from the potion.

“Chill,” she said in Laux, feeling the power drain from her keychains and flow through her hands. The temperature in the bowl went down. But it wasn’t cool enough.

“Chill,” she said again, gritting her teeth as she started to feel dizzy from using magic so quickly twice in a row.

Not enough.

“Chill!” she shouted, and the heat vanished from under her hands, nearly numbing them.

She took the bowl out and placed it next to the luminance potion, trying not to lose her balance. The coolant didn’t even slosh, it had thickened so much from the cold.

Gertie pulled over the terracotta pot that the orchid was in. She snipped its stem so that it was short enough to fit inside the mold and, taking a deep breath, dipped the flower into the luminance potion.

As the instructions read, she immediately pulled it out and shoved it into the coolant, hissing as steam flew out from around her hand. Could that be a good thing?

She had to spin the stem around to coat the flower petals completely. Since she’d made only a third of the proper amount, what was left barely covered the bottom of the bowl.

Gertie lifted the orchid free. It glowed with the pure brilliance of a perfectly brewed luminance potion, shifting between the various purples, whites and yellows of the flower that were picked up by the potion.

The proctor smiled and wrote on her clipboard.

Gertie would have danced in place, but she didn’t have time.

She took the glass mixture, still melted and waiting thanks to the spell, and poured a bit of it into the mold, so the orchid would be floating in the middle. She placed the orchid delicately, and managed to pour the rest of the glass in around it. At the last minute, she remembered the final incantation she had singled out - this one mentioning “not wilting”. The heat from the glass seemed to dissipate, leaving the orchid beautifully fresh.

Gertie put down the heavy cauldron and took a moment to pant.

“And halt,” she said in Laux, completing the enchantment.

The glass hardened instantly.

And the proctor’s timer beeped.

Gertie heart caught in her throat. She hadn’t turned out the sculpture. It wasn’t done. She hadn’t finished.

“Take it out of the mold,” the proctor said.

Gertie looked over at her, dumbfounded.

“I’ll mark you off a point for not finishing it in the time. But turn it out. I’m going to grade it.”

Gertie took the quite heavy mold and turned it over. The glass held steady.

She pulled the mold free, peeling it away from the glass. And there it was. Her little “glowing orchid encased in glass.”

It was quite impressive, she had to say. Beautiful even. A good way to end her exam, even if she had failed.

The proctor took a deep breath, as if to calm herself from the excitement of Gertie’s scramble to finish. She hovered around the table, looking at the sculpture from every angle. She pulled a small camera out of her pocket, took a picture of the top of her clipboard and one of the sculpture.

Gertie waited, shifting awkwardly in place. Her head cleared a bit, despite how she had drained herself by spending so much magic.

The proctor checked over her clipboard, wrote some notes, and finally said, “Very good, Miss Mallon. If you just go back to the area you found the sign-in desk, there will also be a sign-out desk. There, they will take your picture and you will receive your license. Your sculpture will be mailed to your registered address in a week’s time. If you have any other questions or concerns-”

“I passed?” Gertie clarified, not believing her ears.

“Yes,” the proctor said. “Of course.”

Gertie thanked her and walked in a daze to the sign-out table. She managed a smile for the photo, and received a printed license within minutes.

Holding it in her hands, reading the words, Apprentice Enchanter, under her name, suddenly made it real.

She whooped, holding the license triumphantly in the air.

Upon receiving her backpack and cell phone, she immediately dialed Bridget. “I did it!” Gertie shouted. She heard different voices cheering from the other side.

“We’re all in your room,” Bridget said, a laugh in her voice. “We have cake and sodas. Get back down here!”

“Awesome!” Gertie said. “I’m on my way!”

She dialed one more number as she headed out of the stadium.

“Demetrius’ Enchanted Hat Emporium, Demetrius speaking,” came a bored voice from the other end.

“D?” Gertie said excitedly.

He paused. “Gertie, tell me you have good news.”

Gertie grinned so hard her face hurt. “I do.”

To her surprise, Demetrius laughed in relief. “I knew you could do it!” he said.

“Thanks,” Gertie said, flattered, but itching to ask a very important question. “So, when can I start as your apprentice? I’ve been looking up different hat enchantments. I was thinking an expandable hat might be a good place to start. I know that top hats are generally the favored model, but to me that just makes it less incredible that you can fit all that stuff in. My choice would definitely be porkpie, or a-”

“Uh, Gertie, I have a customer.”

“I don’t believe you,” Gertie said.

“Just go celebrate. We can talk about all this during your next shift.”

“My last shift stacking boxes,” Gertie shot back.

“Yeah.” The pride was unmistakable in his voice. Demetrius hung up before he could embarrass himself any further.

As Gertie got in the elevator back down to Wespire, her ID was required. Normally, her magical passport filled this purpose.

Not this time.

Gertie dramatically held out her enchanter’s license to the scanner.

Gertrude Mallon, Apprentice Enchanter.

#gertie and bridget #tales of mundane magic #magic #potions #witch #enchantment #writing #young adult #ya #cauldron #test #fantasy #modern fantasy

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writeyourownlifestory · 5 years

Text

Love Someone (Hardzello)

Can be read from the beginning here

Chapter 2 of 2 can be read below.

And twenty days went by a lot faster than one would expect. A little less than a month. There was still so much he had left to do and yet he found himself making time for other things. Currently, he was all alone. Rami and Lucy were on their honeymoon. Gwilym and Allen were in Europe. All he had was Joe.

It wasn’t a bad thing, to be exact. He liked having Joe around. He liked having Joe to himself. They had an interesting amount of chemistry. Even when they weren’t sneaking away, Ben found himself enjoying his time with Joe.

Apparently, there was still so much Ben had yet to see of California and Joe took it upon himself to show it all to him. He tried not to make it overly touristy. He wanted him to enjoy the finer side of LA without making it seem like they were trying to see all the Hollywood parts.

They went to the boardwalk and beaches. Joe took him to his favorite theaters and Ben took Joe to the only decent English styled restaurant he could find. They didn’t hold hands when they walked, they barely even bumped shoulders, but they were close.

And Joe never kissed him when they were out in public, though Ben couldn’t figure out if he wanted him to or not. There were times when he thought about it. When Joe was telling him some story about his childhood. He was laughing and smiling, looking so beautiful it was almost annoying.

Ben didn’t know why he ever thought Joe was merely average looking. The man was absolutely gorgeous. Whether he was clean shaven or had a bit of scruff. Was dressing up or wearing a band tee shirt. Ben was a model and got paid to look good. Joe did it all on his own and for free.

Ben found himself wanting to kiss Joe. And wanting to hold his hand. To put his arm around his shoulders or waist as they walked down the street, but he never did. Maybe because Joe didn’t do it either.

They didn’t talk about what this was. Ben wasn’t gay. He would look across the way and see all these goddess women and imagine what their bodies would feel like against his own. It was something that interested. He would look to the men along the streets and they were handsome, but they had no effect on him the way women did.

Yet not a single woman could make him flush and smile the way Joe could. Maybe it was deeper than that. Maybe he was bi. Or more. Ben tried not to get into labels. He wanted to be more than that. He wanted to be with him. And he wanted to be with whoever he wanted without having to stick to one specific title.

Joe never brought it up either. They just didn’t talk. Ben didn’t know if that was good or bad. They weren’t hiding anything. They just . . . did what they did. Hiding meant not doing something on the sole purpose of not wanting someone to see. Ben didn’t care if someone saw him. But he wouldn’t force it onto Joe. He waited for him to make the first move, but he never did. Only when they were behind closed doors.

So if that was what Joe wanted, then so be it. Ben wasn’t going to make things weird for them. If Joe was content, then so was he.

They had enough moments to share for him not to worry about losing out on time or whatever. Eventually, he had made his way to Joe’s place, finding it comfortable and spacious. It was a home, unlike his practically empty loft. He brought over the expensive bottles of liquor for them to share. Joe played old movies on his big screen and showed him pictures of his family.

They cuddled together on the couch, drinking and enjoying one another’s company. Twelve days and counting. Neither of them spoke about it. About what would happen when Ben went back to London. Wasn’t like they’d never see one another again. They were still friends. Still in a tight-knit group of pals. For fuck sake, they were in a group chat that spoke every single day.

They could be lying side by side, completely naked after a heavy round of sex that left them both sticky and sweaty, panting heavily. Phones in hand, they would reply to memes that the others had sent. Full on conversations in the chat while they recovered. Once even, while Rami was speaking of something and Joe was going down on him, Ben had taken his phone to rely on Joe’s behalf so he didn’t miss out on the conversation.

It was casual. A good friendship, to say the least.

Ben swore not to buy anything else for his loft since he’d be leaving in two weeks, but he bought lube. Even had Joe go with him. He didn’t know what was a good buy. Flavored or regular. Warming or not. It was an interesting shopping trip, to say the least.

Ben had to get a physical for an upcoming audition and decided to get tested as well. He was completely clean, something he nonchalantly shared with Joe one day over coffee and brunch. Joe was impressed and mentioned how he too had been checked just days before due to his regular checkups.

The next time they had sex, they used warming lube and no condoms. It felt different. And Ben liked different.

They were down to ten days when Ben spent the night over Joe’s for the first time. The loft was being checked out by some potential renters and he didn’t want to be there, so Joe offered up his place. He planned on staying the night but ended up staying the weekend. He put his things in the guest bedroom but never went in there.

They hung out, drank expensive rum, talked about everything they could possibly talk about. There was no pressure. No disappointment. Joe danced along to the stereo, trying to make Ben smile. It didn’t take much. Ben danced as well, showing off some moves that he had learned while playing a male stripper in a soap opera.

Joe was impressed and seemed to like having Ben on his lap but the mood shifted when the song changed to something smoother, something slower. Ben got up and took Joe’s hand, pulling him up so he could stand. It was silly at first, swaying together to the beat of the music. Neither knows who should lead.

Ben had slow danced before. Events and such that called for it. Small rolls where the lead characters were at sock hops and what not. It didn’t take much. Eventually, the silliness ended and Joe wrapped himself up in Ben as the song played out. Ben rest his cheek against Joe’s shoulder, his eyes fluttering closed. The song was for a guy singing to a girl, talking about heartache and such but it didn’t matter. The meaning was still there.

Ben didn’t realize how tight he was holding onto Joe until he saw his knuckles turn white. He flexed his fingers, pulling away just enough to look the other man in the eyes. There was a silent understanding between the two and they didn’t wait for the song to finish before closing the gap once more, their mouths sealed together like they were constructed to fit so properly.

When they went to bed that night, there was no rushing again. They took their time removing their clothing, kissed and touched. It was so gentle, it made Ben want to scream. Only a handful of times had things been rushed and wild. Rough and heated. He loved those moments, but he loved this too.

When he grabbed the lube from the draw, he handed it to Joe. The brunette paused, confused but he never got to question him. Ben kissed him once more, his tongue dancing along Joe’s easily.

Bottoming hadn’t been something Ben thought of often. Joe never asked for a switch or made any movement to change it up. He always took control and decided who did what, but things were different now. It was past midnight now.

Nine days and counting.

Ben didn’t know what he should expect from it. Joe certainly seemed to enjoy it and in the rare instance Ben checked out male on male porn, the stars were having a good time. He never got off to gay porn, but he couldn’t get off to lesbian porn either. Male and female worked every now and then but he had to be there to enjoy it.

He was here now, either Joe, with his finger up his ass, lubing him up and helping him relax. It was new but he didn’t hate it. One finger turned to two. Joe kissed him the whole while, whipping things to him. Some were sweet. Some things literally made him laugh out loud and curse him to hell because really, who the fuck wants to laugh while they’re having sex?

Eventually, it was enough. A good while of just working on him with fingers and Ben was finding himself antsy. Fingers were nothing compared to a cock but he could do this. Joe’s mouth was on his when he entered him and while a groan left his mouth, it wasn’t exactly painful. Nor pleasurable.

A strange mixture of them both, something Ben would have to get used to. The lube was cold but Joe’s cock was warm and as he began to move he found himself remaining still. It was Joe who made the wise choice to jerk him off and that seemed to be key to this. The moment the man’s hand was on his cock he felt himself relax.

He took over for Joe, letting the man focus solely on his hip movements. Joe’s mouth left him and began traveling along his neck and chest. Ben had many marks from Joe and Joe had many marks from Ben. They were equal there.

When he finished, it was unexpected and took him utterly by surprise. His pale cheeks had turned a scarlet red, his colorful eyes hidden behind heavily closed lids. His hand and stomach were covered in his own spunk. He felt tired and dirty and so fucking joyful.

Joe finished inside him, leaving him also feeling wet and open. Joe didn’t care so much about the sheets, choosing to change them later on before they went to bed. He had offered Ben an ice pack sometime later, while they were laying down and relaxing. While he made it seem as though he was teasing, his concern was genuine. Ben declined. He felt sore, but with each passing minute, it got less noticeable.

“Is it always like that?” Ben had asked. They were dressed in their boxers and sleep pants. Ben helped change the sheets, hoping to be useful. “So intense?” He didn’t know if he meant bottoming or being with a male in general.

Joe just shrugged it off, arching forward to get the sheet over the corner of the mattress. “Sometimes.” He answered. “Not all the time. I think it’s more about who your partner is.”

Ben looked up then, finding Joe watching him. He didn’t know if he was supposed to say something. To agree with him. He said nothing but gave him a smile he hoped was enough. Joe didn’t push the conversation further, deciding to instead leap onto the bed once it was made, messing up the neat job they had just completed.

“Oh right. Real mature.” Ben commented, yelping as Joe pulled him down onto the bed with him. They laid there laughing, Ben half on top of Joe. It was playful and silly. Something expected of teenagers with crushes, not two grown men with a sexual relationship.

They fell asleep together, wrapped up in the blanket and each other. When Ben woke up, he got a text from the landlord of the loft. They had someone who was interested and wanted to make sure Ben would still be out when he said he would be.

He sent a quick reply.

Of course.

Spending the entire weekend with Joe had been an experience all in its own. This strange American man who loved sports and video games, dinosaurs and old movies, continued to amaze Ben with every passing moment.

How they had gone from a friend of a friend to being full blown buddies and lovers wowed the man to no end. Joe wasn’t someone Ben expected to be friends with. Not on any level. They were both passionate about their work, which was similar in its own way but yet so different. Ben had shown him the catalog of all the photoshoots Ben had done since he was a teen.

And while he made it seem like it was a whole load of bullocks, Joe was also incredibly impressed with Ben’s outlook. He could very easily make a career out of just standing there and looking pretty but he wanted more. He wanted the juicy, heavy roles that came deep within him and not just someone they can put a bit of makeup on and call it a day.

Ben was also impressed with how Joe was handling himself, his constant writing and determination to bring the stories to life. He had been utterly heartbroken when the studios passed on his script, but he refused to give up. He kept working, kept coming up with amazing ideas.

Ben knew he had talent, knew he could act but Joe was something else. All of them — Rami, Gwilym, Allen —they were all phenomenal actors and would do great in their own fields, but Joe was the real deal. He had something none of them possessed. True, raw talent for bringing things — imaginations — to life.

He wasn’t going to hold the man back, especially when good news seemed to come right around the corner.

Joe called Ben and told him to come over just a few days after he spent the weekend with him. Seven days and counting, Joe told Ben he needed to see him right then and there. Ben had wondered what this was about but came right over. He had been meaning to see him anyway. He picked a place to donate all his stuff to and was hoping to cash in on that promise he had.

When he walked into the place, already fully aware where the man hides the spare key. Joe was pacing back and forth, his hands in his hair and yelling loudly to himself rather sporadically.

“Hey buddy,” He spoke carefully. "Did I come at a bad time?” Ben asked, catching the brunette’s attention.

“No. I’m fine. Everything is fine.” Joe told him harshly. “I got a call from Rami. The guy directing his latest film is looking to do something more low-key and indie after their shoot and wants me to send him something.” He paused, waiting for a response. “A script, Ben! He wants to read one of my scripts!”

“Joe, that’s fantastic.”

“No, Ben! It’s not fantastic. Okay, I have been here before. I get all excited and hopeful, and then they actually read it and they think its garbage and I’m left alone and sad, not knowing if I am even that good, to begin with.”

“Oh come on, Joe. We both know how good of a writer you are.”

“Not good enough obviously!”

Ben made his way over to Joe, pausing his pacing as he placed his hands on the man’s shoulders. He held him there, forcing him to look his way. “You’re nervous. It’s understandable. But this is a good thing, Joe. A chance of a lifetime. And if that moron decides to pass on your script, then it’s on him. You’re a great writer and one day you will have your work up on the big screen.”

“You have to say that, you’re my friend,” Joe muttered, rolling his eyes at Ben’s words.

“Yeah, I am. A friend who cares about you and won’t let you speak badly about yourself.” Ben told him sternly. “You get in there and pick out the best fucking script you’ve ever written and given it to them. Show them what Joseph Mazzello is made of.”

A quiet sigh escaped Joe’s lips and he turned his head to hide a smile that was breaking through. “You’re cute.” He told Ben, breaking away so he could turn towards his office.

“So I’ve been told.” Reaching down, Ben slapped his hand against Joe’s bottom, giving him a boost. “Now go!”

Joe picked out a script. One he had worked on endlessly and shared with Ben in hopes of getting some decent feedback. The story was original and new. Something people could relate to. If the director didn’t fancy a story like that, then he could rightfully fuck off.

As the final days began to wind down, Ben took care of everything else that needed to be done. He and Joe got rid of everything that he was donating and celebrated in Joe’s home. They finished the bottles of expensive rum and bourbon Ben had purchased, downing the final bottle cheerfully.

Rami returned home from his honeymoon and while there was no point in throwing a goodbye party for Ben, he insisted that he come over regardless. Ben brought Joe with him, as expected though even Rami could see they were closer than usual.

Joe was sitting with Lucy, looking over pictures she had taken while on their honeymoon, leaving Ben and Rami to sit by themselves. Ben had given Rami everything he wanted him to have and the things he wanted him to pass onto Gwilym.

He must have been staring or something, because Rami was smirking to him, gesturing between the two as he spoke. “This is new.”

Ben shrugged it off, bringing his drink to his mouth. They didn’t use labels. Didn’t try to define what they had.

“Is he going with you? To London.”

Ben shook his head, surprised by the question. “Why would he?”

Why indeed. What would Joe even have in London other than Ben? Joe had a life here. A career. Friends. London was big and old and magical, sure but that didn’t mean he could just up and leave his life here.

“I don’t know. Just seems sad. Breaking up and such. Will you be long distance?”

Ben shook his head once more, turning away from the view he had currently been watching. “It isn’t like that.”

It was sexual, nothing more. He cared about Joe, but that didn’t mean anything. They were friends. Of course, he cared about him. You couldn’t exactly have a long distance sexual relationship. What, would they suck each other off through their webcams?

It wouldn’t be a breakup. More like a break-off. Breaking off their fun and their intimacy. They weren’t in a relationship. Weren’t in love.

Or maybe they were. Maybe Joe was the best thing in Ben’s close? How was he to know? Sure, his heart fluttered every time he heard Joe speak and he longed to touch him in any way possible. Whether it was just a gentle caress with his fingertips or his legs wrapped around him as they had sex.

Or maybe they were making love. Who fucking knew?

And who knew, maybe Joe felt the same thing. Maybe he’d miss Ben’s smile and laugh and mere existence that he’d want to come to London with him. Make a life there with him. Who knew, right?

Rami dropped the conversation, but that didn’t mean it didn’t linger in Ben’s mind as the night went on. When they left Rami and Lucy’s place, Joe took him right to his own home. Didn’t ask. Didn’t question. They did what felt natural.

There was an old-time typewriter in the back of Joe’s car. It made ben smile, despite the impending doom that was looming over them. They didn’t have sex, but they didn’t need to at this point. Just being together was comfortable enough.

Five days and counting.

Ben’s loft was more or less empty, save for the furniture, his luggage, and a few other pieces. He had been finishing up with his packing when he heard the pounding on the door. He answered it, yelping out as he was ambushed by Joe the moment he could make it through. His mouth was on his, kissing him in earnest.

Ben kissed back but pushed him away eventually to see what the hell was going on.

“He wants it.” He told him. “My script! He loves my script. He wants to work on it!”

Ben felt like the world was spinning around them. Just mere days ago, Joe was down on the dumps, feeling like he wasn’t worth jack shit and here he was, practically walking on cloud nine. “Yes. YES! Fuck yes!’

Ben pulled him back, kissing Joe with every ounce of energy he had coursing through his body. It didn’t take much longer for his practically empty loft to be covered in their clothing. Celebratory sex was certainly one of Ben’s favorites and for a short moment, he hoped it was something they could do constantly.

Joe was talking afterward, about the meetings he’d be going to in order to go over the technicalities. He had done small scale writing and directing, but never like this. It was so fresh and new. He was completely terrified but excited, to say the least.

Ben was happy for him, but he’d be lying if he said his heart wasn’t crushed. While he hadn’t planned on asking Joe to flat out move to London with him, the possibility of coming every now and then for visits was an option. How could he do that now when he had his dream unfolding in front of him?

And just when he thought maybe LA wasn’t a complete waste, that maybe staying for a while longer wouldn’t be such a bad idea, his agent called.

He had been asked to audition for some mini-series for the BBC. They saw his picture from the Dolce and Gabbana shoot and found that he fit the characters description. At first, he wanted to pass, thinking it was just another hot, brainless character. But when his agent sent the script, he found himself intrigued.

He had never been offered a role like this. He hadn’t ever auditioned for one like this. He was typecast always but this was different. He agreed to come in, just one day after he was to arrive back in London though from what his agent spoke about, it seemed all he needed was a chemistry test with the leading actress and he’d be golden.

Staying in the states wasn’t an option anymore. Three days down. And then two.

Finally, he was left with just one. He looked over his empty loft, finding it bittersweet to be going like this. Grabbing his suitcase and the one box he had left to give up, Ben made his way out, letting the door close and lock behind him.

Despite having been expecting him, Joe still looked surprised to see Ben showing up on his doorstep. In his arms was the collection of movie reels he had. He couldn’t think of anybody else he would rather have them. Joe laughed, taking the box and holding it tightly to his chest.

The past few weeks had been like magic to them. They ignored the deadline and just enjoyed themselves, ultimately finding themselves getting too caught up in the fun they had stopped to take a breather. Placing the box in the corner, Joe offered Ben a drink, some toast. Ben wasn’t hungry, but he made no gesture to leave.

He was there to stay. For the night anyway.

They had to talk. They needed to, but they didn’t. Instead, they carried on like it was any other day. They relaxed, enjoyed one another’s company. They kissed and cuddled, made out on the couch like it was an everyday occurrence. They ordered in and had sex.

Later on in the night, when they were supposed to be asleep, Ben found Joe sitting on the edge of the bed, brooding and thinking. He reached out to him, catching his attention. Tears slid down his face and Joe laughed bitterly, wiping them away.

Joe offered a whisper of an apology, turning so he could turn off the light. Ben sat there, staring out into the darkness. He wanted to question the tears, ask him what was wrong, but he knew his words would be pointless.

Ben felt like crying as well, but he didn’t. Instead, he accepted being miserable, accepted the fact that he was a pathetic fool.

He would miss California for the fantastic weather and beautiful people. He’d miss the small jobs he easily grabbed and the half decent food he was able to order in. He’d miss going out and singing along to classic songs, watching the lyrics scroll up on the karaoke machine.

He’d miss doing absolutely nothing and still having the time of his life because he had an amazing guy by his side.

He’s miss Joe’s smile and laugh. How animated he seemed at times. How dramatic and erratic and amusing. The way his eyes light up when he was happy. How he always put his friends' happiness before his own.

Ben wondered if he ever made Joe happy. He wondered if Joe knew how happy he had made Ben.

He would miss Joe in every way possible. And while it should have been easy enough, to just open up his mouth and say the words, he didn’t.

Instead, he pulled Joe into him, wrapping his arms around him as his head nestled against his next and shoulder.

He didn’t expect it to hurt this much. The silence.

He should have said something. He still could, but what was the point? Their days were up. Morning came and Ben had to go. He had a life in London. A job offer. A chance to make his dreams come true. And Joe had all of that right here.

Fate was pulling them apart and it had to be for a reason.

A God awful, shitty fucking reason, but a reason nonetheless.

When the sun came up and the blasting alarm forced them from their slumber, the two men broke apart. They moved around the room like strangers sharing a dorm. They dressed, barely sharing a glance as Ben checked and double checked his luggage. He didn’t have much after all.

Ben planned to take an Uber, but Joe just grabbed his keys, telling him he’d be out in the car. Ben followed reluctantly, tossing his bag into the back seat beside the typewriter and hopped into the front seat beside the man.

The drive to the airport was quiet. Neither had anything to say, causing the silence to be so much more deafening. When they arrive, Joe paid for parking, following him inside. He made sure Ben got to the right gate and waited with him.

He held his hand tightly, out in the open, for the world to see, as they sat together waiting for them to make the boarding call.

When they did, Ben didn’t go. Not right away. He just kept waiting. Just kept holding this man’s — his man’s — hand. Only when the final call came about did Joe finally stand to his feet, pulling Ben along with him.

They stood before one another, both shifting awkwardly on the balls of their feet. Joe was the first to speak, cocking his head so they were staring one another down, eye to eye.

“Show those fuckers at the BBC how it’s done,” Joe told him sternly.

“Save me a seat at the premiere,” Ben replied back.

They both made the first move, closing the gap to bring their lips together. It was their first kiss where the entire world could see them. And maybe it would be their last. Ben hoped it wasn’t. When he pulled away, he could still feel Joe’s thumb tracing along his cheekbone. It was a feeling he never wanted to forget.

He walked away from Joe, reluctantly letting go of his hand so he could board the plane. Only when he was settled in his seat, looking at the background image on his phone (a picture of himself and Joe at some party) did he realize they had never actually said goodbye.

And they wouldn’t. Not in a million years. Because this wasn’t goodbye. He’d see Joe again. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe in ten years from now.

But eventually.

#fanfic #writing #hardzello

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