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jokeroutsubs · 2 months

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[ENG sub/translation] Bojan Cvjetićanin on WDR.de COSMO podcast, 8.3.2024

On 8.3.2024, Bojan was a guest on the 'Tvoj Korzo petkom' ('Your Friday promenade') episode of the German broadcaster WDR's COSMO podcast in Bosnian/Croatian/Serbian language. It's hosted by Boris Rabrenović. You can find the original podcast here. Transcript by @moonlvster, translation by a member of Joker Out Subs, proofread by IG GBoleyn123, subtitles by TWT pastellibianchi.

Bojan talked about the current tour, audience response, the band's history, this year's Eurovision songs, as well as the making of Everybody's Waiting and what kind of an effect the song has on him now.

The podcast is audio only; you can find it with subtitles on our YouTube channel here:

youtube

or read the full translated transcript under the cut:

Joker Out in Germany - Your Friday promenade

Host: Coming up, we're hanging out with Bojan Cvjetićanin, the singer of the Slovenian rock band Joker Out, who are currently on a big European tour, in which they will have several concerts in Germany this month, in Berlin, Leipzig, Hamburg, Cologne and Munich.

The band is well known to Eurovision fans because they represented Slovenia in Liverpool last year. Since then, they have numerous fans all over the world, sold out concerts, and they also collaborated with the famous Elvis Costello. Singer Bojan Cvjetićanin will tell us more about all this. Hello, Bojan, welcome to our musical promenade walk.

Bojan: Hello, hello. It's my pleasure.

Host: After Finland, Estonia, Latvia, Lithuania and Poland, you will have the first of five concerts in Germany on the 12th of March in Berlin. What are your impressions from the tour so far?

Bojan: Well, I have to say that... this is by far the biggest tour so far for us. So far, it has been really spectacular both emotionally and physically. We are very happy, we are very satisfied, the audience is wonderful, we play well, we feel good on stage, we're full of energy, and we also can't wait to put that into a musical form when we go to the studio.

Host: You sing in Slovenian, English, Serbo-Croatian. How does the audience manage the lyrics in all these languages?

Bojan: Well, I have to admit that so far, we've already done a good number of concerts abroad, and most of our audience is actually from the countries in which we play. So it's not like I could say that much of our audience comes from the Balkan diaspora or from Slovenia. Of course, we would like to see as many people from our diaspora as possible, but it's strange, it's strange to see people singing in Slovenian and Serbian, who otherwise don't even know a word of those languages, so we're not used to that yet.

Host: Last year, you represented Slovenia at Eurovision in Liverpool with the song Carpe Diem. Could you have predicted everything that would happen after that?

Bojan: Honestly, I have to say that what is happening now was our ultimate wish, a goal we believed in, but whenever you believe in a dream, there is a 99.9 percent chance that it won't happen. But truly, what is happening now is like, the best possible result for us.

Host: And tell us a little about the time before Eurovision, how long has the band existed and did you perform in countries in the region¹ even before Eurovision?

Bojan: The band has existed since 2016 and we mostly played in Slovenia. We had a concert or two in the region and both concerts were for a Slovenian audience on, like, those student trips and so on, so we only encountered audiences from the region after Eurovision.

Host: And did you manage to listen to this year's representatives at Eurovision? Do you have any favourites?

Bojan: For this year, I told myself that I would like to hear the songs for the first time when I watch Eurovision, that is, in the first semi-final. Of course there was no way I could avoid listening to some of the songs, since my social media has been flooded with Eurovision content since last year, so I have heard some things. I heard the Serbian song, I heard the Croatian song. Of course, the Slovenian song, which I worked on. I have to say that I really like all three songs, Serbian, Slovenian and Croatian, this year. They're interesting, they're different, so it's going to be an interesting year.

Host: Last year, you released the English version of the song 'Novi val' with the famous British musician Elvis Costello, so tell us briefly how that collaboration came about.

Bojan: Well, that collaboration is... a pretty surreal moment in our life. Completely by coincidence, our former bassist's godfather is good friends with Elvis, and he gave Elvis our first album to listen to and he really liked it. Later, when we released the second album, Elvis listened to it on his own accord, and he liked the song 'Novi val' so much that he offered to write the English version of the lyrics. After two weeks, when we confirmed it, after two weeks, we received an email saying that if we wanted, we could do a collaboration, which of course we said yes to.

Host: What a beautiful story. Coming up, we will hear your new single 'Everybody's Waiting', which was released a few days ago. Tell us a few words about this song, which some rate as your best song so far.

Bojan: Well... 'Everybody's Waiting' is like, I would say, an experiment by our band, a song which, as far as the lyrics go, is actually the result of certain anxiety attacks and panic that I started experiencing at concerts after an unpleasant experience on stage. So it has all been very very stressful for me, honestly, and for these last couple of months, the stage has no longer been the safest place that it used to be for me, so I had to get those feelings out somehow, and I poured them into the song. The guys from the band felt it too, and the producer also felt it, so it showed in the actual arrangement of the song as well, that it's not just a song, but rather we all understood it as a story.

So absolutely, I would also say that as a song, it is the most varied, the most interesting so far, it has a special sound, a little different from what we have done so far. The song is in English, I think it was actually the first time that an English song worked out for me that way, that it sounds good and sounds original, and that it truly poured out of me. So there you go, I'm very proud of this song, and these concerts showed that people love it a lot, they sing it, so yeah.

Host: How much has it helped you in solving the problem with anxiety?

Bojan: Well, I would say that it absolutely helps in some way. On this tour, I also had a moment of panic, anxiety on stage, and it actually ended somewhere in the middle of the song 'Everybody's Waiting', so maybe it kind of works to calm me down, so it has an effect.

Host: Then perhaps it should be the first on the setlists.

Bojan: Yes, the first, second, third, fourth, fifth, and last.

Host: Bojan, thank you very much for being our guest. I wish you a lot of success in your future work, and a successful tour. And see you in Cologne on the 24th of March.

Bojan: Thank you, see you in Cologne.

Host: That was Bojan Cvjetićanin, the singer of the Slovenian rock band Joker Out, who are currently on a big European tour, during which they will have five concerts in Germany, on the 12th of March in Berlin, on the 13th in Leipzig, on the 19th in Hamburg, on the 24th in Cologne, and on the 16th of March in Munich. By the way, on the cosmoradio.de website, you can find our concert calendar for 2024 in Germany, with neatly arranged dates of all the performances by musicians from the countries in the (Balkan) region in Germany.

¹By "countries in the region" the host is referring to the former Yugoslavian countries.

#joker out #bojan cvjetićanin #bojan cvjeticanin #Youtube

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shinehyuk · 1 year

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ENHYPEN reaction to S/O fainting because of "training"

‣ Genre : yandere, requested

tw/cw : abuse, violence, obsession, extremely toxic relationships, very heavy themes, sadistic tendencies etc., please do not read if sensitive/uncomfortable! i do NOT support the behavior shown in this work!

Jungwon :

— He'll feel really bad for pushing you way past your limits, which only resulted in you blacking out; sure, you had to get a reminder of your place, but seeing your passed out, weak body only fills him with a sense of guilt

— All the anger that built up inside him before disappeared like a puff of smoke, the male only now caring about making you rest up and be as comfortable as you can possibly be. However, don't think that you'll be treated like a royalty when you wake up; it'll take some time to earn his forgiveness after your little disobedience from before

— “I'm only letting you off this once, so be grateful. Don't get used to it, love.”

Heeseung :

— He'll be annoyed at first, waiting until you woke up to continue the training. Did you really think that you can fool him with your little blacking out? He's almost sure that you did it only to try to get out of the punishment

— Depending on his mood and how severe your actions were for you to need a "training", he'll either have pity on you and let you go or he'll "train" you until he feels like it's enough to get through your thick head.

— “Oh, you're tired, now? Should've thought about that before trying to leave me, darling. Those are only the consequences of your own actions.”

Jay :

— If you think that little silly act of yours is enough to make him forgive and forget all about your punishment, you're dead wrong, and he's more than happy to prove it to you

— He'll only wait for you to stop your stupid act to continue the punishment; the only way that he can ensure that you will never disobey him again is tough, intense "training", whether you like it or not. As for him, seeing you face the consequences of your behavior is quite satisfying

— “Did you really fucking expect to fool me with that idiotic play? Dream on, love; I know too much about you to actually believe that kind of bullshit.”

Jake :

— He'll instantly stop whatever he was doing to take care of you; right now, instead of your unfinished training, you're his top priority. The punishment can wait a little while

— The male will handle you with care, blaming himself for overexerting you. The original plan was quite simple; he was only supposed to only remind you of the established rules and your place right by his side, but he got too carried away by his emotions and ended up hurting you

— “I'm sorry, love.. But this is exactly why you can't disobey me, okay? The next time, I won't be so kind to you.”

Sunghoon :

— He'll scoff, more than slightly irritated that your little training session was forced to come to an end so abruptly; however, if he feels like it, he'll take care of you out of pity

— Once you wake up, he expects you to be grateful, thanking him from his mercy. But the next time, don't think that he'll be so very sweet to let you rest up again. No, the training will be twice worse than before; and he won't let you go so easily

— “Thank you? Is that all you have to say? Tsk, you're even more ungrateful than I thought.”

Sunoo :

— He'll be terrified, tears sliding down his face as he realizes just how much he has overexerted you; will you ever be able to forgive him for what he has done? He'll be filled with immense guilt, blaming himself until you wake up

— He'll be scared to even touch you or be in the same room as you, scared that by doing that he'll only somehow manage to hurt you again. He'll be skittish around you for a long time until he can fully trust himself again

— “I-I'm so sorry, my love! I really didn't mean to hurt you.. Please, don't hate me, I love you so much..”

Ni-Ki :

— All the anger that he was feeling before completely left his body after he saw you fall, the male's hands shaking as he gently picks you up, cursing at himself for overworking you so much

— He'll sit by your bed and wait until you wake up, giving you a glass of water and some food to regain your energy when you awaken, pretending to be irritated as to hide his care for you

— “..Are you really this stupid? You should've asked for a break if you were feeling this bad.. Sigh.. You're really impossible, stupid.”

thank you for requesting! i hope you liked it <3

‣ Taglist : @annoyingbitch83 @atiny-chocolate-chip @lmaoskz @sunoo-bby @heemingyu @nikipedia07 @effulgentfireflies

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bemysinphony · 1 year

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Are you feeling this too?

pairing: txt taehyun x f!reader

genre: os, au, fluff, smut

summary: when your attraction to him becomes unbearable and you fail to hide it, he has a surprise in store for you...

warnings under the cut!

warnings: beomgyu makes an appearance (but he's not part of the smut), friends-to-lovers, irony, tae is a bit of a know-it-all, they both have a thing for hands (quirofilia), they are veeeeery much down bad for eachother, cursing, mutual masturbation, handjob, thigh-riding, fingering, praising.

word count: 3,3k

notes: in case you haven't already noticed, I'm a big fan of friends-to-lovers 😋 this has been in my drafts for wayyy too long, I can't believe it's finally seeing the light! I kept editing it so many times because I was never satisfied enough (damn perfectionism), so I hope the final result is decent 😭 enjoy <;3

You two knew eachother for some years now and were the most comfortable with one another. You shared almost anything with no worries or embarrassment, as well as feeling a special kind of excitement everytime you had something you needed to talk about and knew the other was going to be there to listen without judgement.

Taehyun was a bit of a know-it-all sometimes and he loved to use that side of his personality especially to tease you, but that didn't stop him from validating your thoughts and feelings, however unrational they might be. And he found relief in you, who helped him to not think too rationally like he did most of the time. You balanced each other quite well, that's why you worked like a match made in heaven.

Same could have been said about your clingyness: you both needed your own space and individuality, but, when you felt like it, you were ready to cuddle the other until satisfied.

Neither of you could have predicted that this level of comfort would have extended even to sleeping together in the same bed though.

Lately, whenever you two hang out at night with your shared group of friends and you were too tired or drunk to go back to your apartment, as he was to accompany you, he started offering you to stay at his place, which was closer to the centre of the city. Not giving it much thought, you simply turned collapsing onto his mattress into an habit.

Last night was one of those nights: you checked out a new bar with your friends, the dishes were delicious, as well as the drinks, reason why it was easy to drink a bit more than usual.

"Looks like you'll come with me tonight as well" Taehyun stated, holding your waist to help you stand up. It was so unfair that he held his liquor so well and better than you.

As usual, Beomgyu teased you both about the situation: "At this point, I'm so sure they've been doing a lot more than just sleeping... when are you guys going to confess the truth to us, uh?"

"Shut up, Gyu" you mumbled annoyed.

"Let's go, he's just envious" Tae retorted, nodding to the group to greet them.

"I'm not envious! I'm not!" Beomgyu's shouted at your back, accompanied by the laughs of the others.

The last thing you remembered was slipping into the warm covers of Taehyun's bed, all clean up and ready to collapse and sleep for hours.

"Are you comfortable?" he made sure, pushing a strand of hair out of your face.

You groaned in affirmation, deeply inhaling his perfume that permeated the sheets, something that never failed to relax you.

"Goodnight then" he wished you.

"You too Tae" you grumbled before falling asleep, too tired to give any importance to the feeling of being stared at.

When you open your eyes on the half light of the bedroom the morning after, you rise your head to look at his soft sleeping face, following his features as if you were tracing them with your fingers. Honestly, it was also very much unfair how pretty he was and that you only got to look at him like that when he wasn't aware of it. You sigh softly and your gaze lands on his slightly parted lips.

The faint memory of the dream you had falls upon you all at once, making your cheeks flush. Did you really dreamed about fucking him? Again? And this time while you were sleeping in his bed, with him in it ? This was getting out of hand. How were you supposed to keep a straight face while looking at him now?

At first you kept telling yourself that having these type of thoughts about him was just caused by the curiosity that your friends' comments sparkled... but when you started to linger your gaze on him, feeling attracted to his body and the way he moved, until you fantasized of kissing and touching him, you understood that, no, it definitely wasn't just that at all.

You were terrified by the idea of ruining your precious friendship, of losing your best friend, just because of lust. Just the thought itself felt like losing oxygen. And yet you couldn't help your feelings that only kept on growing. What a cliché.

You try to get up without waking him up, moving slowly outside the covers, but the mattress betrays you, squeaking as you shift your weight. He stretches and blinks to adjust to the light, serene and unaware, while you freeze on the spot, still sitting on the mattress, blushing even more if possible.

When he looks at you he immediately notices: "Hey, are you okay? Do you have a fever?" He gets up quickly, worried. His raspy morning voice definitely wasn't of help.

"N-no, no, i'm fine" you manage to say.

To make sure he reaches out to touch your forehead anyway, causing a rush of chills running down your back. "Okay, you don't" he sights in relief.

"That's what I told you!"

"Why are you blushing this hard then?"

"It's nothing, it's just hot, I need a shower..." you want to get up and find refuge in the bathroom, but you can’t bring yourself to move. You feel your panties getting wet and instinctively push your legs closer together.

Shit.

He glances down at your sudden movement, understanding what was going on: "Oh, I see... you're horny" he smiles amused, "so, your plan was to get off in my shower?"

"I was just gonna take a cold shower!" Your heartbeat quickes at the thought of him imagining you touching yourself. You wonder if he has ever done it, but you immediately chase the thought away.

"Yeah, sure..." he mocks you, a playful smirk on his lips. "I am too right now, so... nothing to be embarrassed about"

"Wait- right now? Are you...?"

"Uhm, yeah, I'm hard right now" he frowns, confused by your surprise, "I was going to, you know, take care of it... while you're in the shower."

"W-well, now we can't do that."

"Why is that?"

Your eyes widened. Was he for real? Was he trying to act bold, pushing your buttons to see how you'd react?

"Do you seriously want to get off at the same time, in different rooms, while being aware of it?" You point out the obvious.

"Would you rather get off here? Together ?"

Was he joking or was he provoking you? And if the latter was true, why? Was he attracted to you as well? And if so, was he trying to find out how you felt about it? No, that couldn't be... those were just your delusional fantasies... right? You look away and blush even more if possible.

He registers your reaction and this time he fully blushes as well, thinking it's an affermative answer to his question: "Wait- seriously? Would you like that?"

This wasn't what you meant, but it wasn't wrong either: you do want that, him, with every fiber of your body.

You don't understand how he feels about it, what's behind his embarrassment and surprise, so maybe this is the time to address the elephant in the room once and for all and find out. You feel the panic growing quickly inside your chest as you say, "What if... what if I did?"

He looks you dead in the eyes and swallows.

Surely he's searching for the right words to reject you, to tell you that he wouldn't, that you are just a friend for him and that the way he's been staring at you is because of the affection he-

"I'd like that too" he admits. The cool and chill facade is crumbling before your eyes, piece by piece. "I... I fantasised about it. About you."

You can't believe what your ears have just heard. Is this happening for real or it's just a very vivid dream?

"You did?"

"Yeah... of course" he shakes his head, "I mean, I don't know, these days I feel very attracted to you so it just came naturally to imagine how it would feel... to do it with you" he looks down, the fiery red tips of his ears sticking out. Now that he's letting his vulnerability take over he's so cute. It's a pity that you don't get to see this side of him as often as you'd want to. You want to kiss him so bad.

"Has this happened to you?" He finally asks.

"Yeah..." you bite your lip out of anxiety "I am very attracted to you Tae... I've been for a while now and... recently it's been difficult to not mind it at all. Like, very difficult..."

"Fuck..." he lets out inadvertently.

"Yeah, exactly" you let out a nervous giggle and his eyes widens.

"Should we...?"

"Would you like that?"

"Damn if I'd like that. You? Would you?"

"Definitely, yes" you confirm.

Still a little uncertain and awkwardly, you both move closer to eachother, looking forward to the touch you've been craving all this time.

Your first kiss begins sweet and tender: your fingers run through his soft hair that you have always loved very much, while he's smiling on your lips and caressing your cheek.

When you give his tongue access to your mouth things get heated. He instinctively moves his hands to your waist to bring you closer, his fingers starts lingering over the bare skin of your back, just above the elastic of the sweatpants. When you release a soft moan and tug his hair, that drives him completely nuts: he's been dying to know what kind of sounds you make.

"Fuck, that was pretty. Do it again please."

"I need you closer... can I?" He nods eagerly while getting rid of the covers, you waste no time and sit on his lap. Feeling his hardening pushing against your core despite the fabric is heavenly, the string of moans escaping your lips prove it.

"You're music for the ears... whatever I've listened to until now can't even compare"

Your heart beats even faster at the compliment, threatening to burst out of your ribcage. How are you going to survive this? You're just getting started and you're both a mess already.

Your fingers run to the hem of his shirt, removing it to reveal his beautiful toned body for you to explore like you've been craving to do. You trace the muscles of his shoulders and arms he's so proud of have been enhancing, and leave sloppy kisses all over his chest.

"Are we really doing this?" His breathing is hard and irregular.

"Do you want to stop? Cause we can, anytime" you raise up to look into his eyes in search of any proof of doubt.

"No, I just can't believe it's happening" His soft smile contrasts with his lust-filled gaze. "Do you?"

"Not at all."

You start moving your hips slowly against his, making him let out a groan of pleasure. When you fasten your movements he throws his head back. "God, y/n..."

"Tell me what you imagined me doing to you"

"No, but-"

"What? Did I do something wrong?" You stop in your tracks.

"No, fuck no, this is great" he reassures you, "it's just that- I should take care of you first, you're the one that-"

"But you are going to, silly. Now answer my question."

"I..." he looks down where your bodies are closer, then reaches for your hand and kisses each knuckle tenderly. You hold your breath as butterflies invade your stomach. "I thought about your pretty hands around me"

You move to stroke the bulge covered by his underwear a couple times and watch him struggle to hold back his own moans, before getting rid of it. You stop for a moment to take in what your eyes are seeing: he has a nice shape and length, you can't wait to discover how he feels.

Meanwhile, he begins to worry about you being disappointed or regretting your decision: "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, I just never saw you like this and wanted to take a proper look at you... you're pretty, you know?"

Surprised and pleased, he lets out an "oh" that turns into a loud moan when you start palming him.

"Does it feel good?" Your chest is filling with pride.

He's already humming approvingly and instinctively bucks his hips into your hand. "You're so good..."

"As good as you imagined?" You tease him.

"Not even close... so much better"

You really need some contact as well and you squirm over him.

"Use my thigh" he proposes, gripping your hips. Loving the idea, you shift to have his left thigh between your legs and start rubbing your pelvis. His muscles flexe beneath you and the fabric creates an amazing friction.

You stroke his skin faster, circling the tip with your thumb, resulting in him bringing an hand over his face: "Shit, I'm close already..." he mumbles.

"It's okay, come for me" your voice sweet like honey, "I want to see your lovely face though..." and you gently take his hand away, locking eyes with him just in time before thick, white ropes start covering his stomach. His face contorts in pleasure and only groans leave his lips, that are eager and desperate when they take yours in a rough kiss.

"That was... way too good" he sighs, "I'm sorry I didn't last long..."

"Don't say that", you reach for the tissue box on his nightstand, "you were so excited of having my hands all over you, it was so hot." You lick your lips, passing him the tissues to clean himself up.

"It's your turn now" he moves closer to your ear and starts leaving a trail of pecks down your jaw. "What did you imagine?"

"I- uhm... well... I'm actually in this state because I- I did have a wet dream tonight..." You look away, your cheeks are burning again.

"Oh, you did?" You recognise from his tone that a smug smile is certainly tracing his lips, "Was I involved?"

You nod, finally revealing where this all thing started. "You were playing with my boobs..."

"Was I?" He starts rubbing your nipples through the thin fabric of the shirt, making you whimper.

"God, I love the sounds you make too much." He frees you from it and admires your body like you did before with him. "You... your shapes..." he starts kissing and massaging your breasts, "...are so gorgeous..."

You look at him working your skin and intertwine your fingers with his locks once again, pulling a little everytime he licks the right place the right way.

"And then you went down..." you continue to guide him.

"Of course" he starts kissing your stomach, slowly descending.

It was taking too long and you couldn't take it anymore. "I seriously need you between my legs. Right now." You rush him.

"How exactly do you need me?" He looks up at you and that's so hot of him, you swear you could pass out.

"Your fingers..."

"Seems like we both have a thing for hands, uh?" He lets out a giggle detaching his lips from your skin. He guides you to lay down before removing your thin sweatpants. The darkened spot in your panties is so wide now, his fingers linger over the damp cotton.

"Stop teasing..." you complain.

"You're right, you had to wait this long to take care of me..." he finally gets rid of the only piece of clothing left and takes a look at you, mesmerised. His fingers runs through your folds, his digits circle your opening. "How are you so pretty?"

The first finger enters you easily, shortly followed by the second one. You gasp for air when he curls them, the sensation of finally having him inside of you burning in your chest, waves of pleasure crossing your body. As soon as he starts pounding, you buck your hips to get him as deep as possible.

"Look at you... this is so much better than anything I could ever imagine." Feeling how warm and tight you were around him was simply delicious.

"Faster, please..." you ask gripping the sheets and he immediately begins to thrust with more vigour, his other hand on your knee to keep your legs open.

You start clenching around him and feel your clit pumping looking for some attention as well, thus you reach for it, rubbing your digits in a circular motion.

"God, you're so hot like this" he grunts while your juices drip into his palm, "I can't believe I'm watching you touching yourself for real."

You slightly lean forward to get a better view of his veiny hand and your mouth goes agape. You've always been enamored with his hands, seizing the opportunity everytime you two felt cuddly to caress and play with them, but this... this was a whole another level.

"Tae, fuck, I'm almost there, keep going"

"Whenever you want baby, let yourself go" he breathes out, making a last effort to keep his pace steady.

You feel your orgasm exploding in your chest and spreading all over your body, leaving behind a prolonged moan to delight him.

He's out of breath, his fingers slowly slip out of you and he waits for you to look at him again.

You're panting but you get up and smile at him: "Okay, now explain how are you so great? You definitely rank number one for fingering."

"Thanks for confirming the suspicions I had about my abilities." He says gaining a roll of eyes from you.

His digits still shine with your juices so you lean close enough to lick them clean, surprising him.

"I'm going to grow a boner again at this rate"

"I wouldn't mind it" you run your fingers on his chest and bring him closer to you.

He tucks some tufts of hair behind your ears and scans your face, focusing on every little detail. In this moment you are both asking yourself the same question: is it just lust or there's something else you're both feeling for eachother?

When you indulged in imagining the two of you confessing, you definitely didn't picture this situation as one of the possible scenarios. Yet, here you are. "What do we do now?" you break the silence.

"I think the most logical thing to do is to not panic and see where this takes us."

"That's such a 'you' response" you wrinkle your nose, and the word 'cute' invades his mind.

"Am I wrong though?"

"Ah, you're so annoying" you snort, not wanting to give him the pleasure of agreeing with him, and lay down.

"I know you know I am" he lays on top of you, crossing his arms over your stomach and resting his chin there. "What do you suggest?"

"We've been friends for years now, right?" you start playing with his hair, "many of our friends have been teasing us about how similar to a couple we look, considering how comfortable we are with eachother..."

"The affection was already there"

"Exactly" you nod, "and now attraction joined..."

"In conclusion, you think we are in love already, even if we don't think so yet"

You're taken aback by his response, especially because of the use of the words "in love", but yes, that was what you were aiming for. "Maybe? We should find out."

He giggles, "you just explained what I meant earlier."

"God, I hate you" You let out frustrated, covering your face with your hands to hide the big smile that's actually painting it.

"No, you don't" he gets closer and removes them.

"I truly don't" you admit, moving your eyes to his lips and viceversa.

"Good, because me neither." He's still holding your hands when he kisses you slowly and softly, in a way too romantic manner for you to still be "just friends".

"When he will find out, Beomgyu is never going to let this down."

"Shhh don't make me think about it yet!" You frown, before joining his laugh.

#txt smut #taehyun smut #tomorrow x together smut #txt fanfic #taehyun x reader #txt fluff #taehyun fluff #tomorrow x together fluff #kang taehyun smut #kang taehyun fluff #txt x reader #one shot #bunnywrites!!

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frenchtantan · 8 months

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I'm not done talking about q!Baghera. Today I wanna touch on something her mind seems to tune out for her own protection: the Federation's cruelty. Now buckle up folks, given how dark her story is, this is gonna get heavy.

When she first discovered her old room, in her little diary, her past self had written the following: "they made me do things, and I couldn't stop until they were satisfied. They are never satisfied. They just want to make me miserable. They keep plucking my feathers for... a dumb reason."

This is cruel. This is child abuse, and this is torture The entire Federation would deserve to be burnt to the ground ten times over if they did this once. They did this to her every single day.

However, here's the thing: the way child q!Baghera phrases it, it almost looked like the torture was in response to her not behaving like they wanted her to. As if this unjustified abuse was somehow a punishment, something that could be somewhat avoided by her doing things differently.

We may now have an inkling that was not the case. In the "RESULTS: BAGHERA" book that she burned yesterday, we could read the following: "PREVIOUS BEHAVIORAL REPORTS DESCRIBED BAGHERA ENTERING SIMILAR UNRESPONSIVE STATES WHEN EXPOSED TO INTENSE STRESS OR HIGHLY UNPLEASANT STIMULI. HOWEVER DEPENDING ON THE CAUSE OF SAID STRESS IT MAY HAVE BEEN PRECEDED BY ATTEMPTS OF BITING HER CARETAKERS AND OTHER FEDERATION STAFF, WITH OTHER HELPLESS ATTEMPTS AT ESCAPE"

Now I don't know about you, but the way I read this, it means the torture was never a punishment. It was the experiment itself. They were deliberately, or at least knowingly, putting her in situations that could trigger her unresponsive state. How messed up is that?

This is the extend of their cruelty: they created a sentient child, but they never raised her, they never cared for her, they never tried to make her better. She was just an experiment among possibly hundreds of others. An object to poke and prod at to see how it would react. Even knowing this is roleplay, I can't think about this without getting sick to my stomach.

This is where she now knows she comes from. Where any normal child had a family's love and care, she had only the Federation's cruelty. Is it any wonder then that q!Baghera refuses to even acknowledge the torture? That her mind put walls around walls around walls to protect her from that horrific reality? That yesterday she was grasping at straws, hoping that the Federation was not as bad as she thought, in denial about what she suffered at their hands?

I am conflicted about what her burning the book meant, because she also burned all the photos. At first I thought this was just another wall, but I'm not so sure. Her room was not a bad memory, it contained everything she liked. She also didn't burn her diary. Also, she didn't look distressed, she looked angry. Her first thought went to Pomme, her daughter and therefore her family, and then came her ironic realization about the islanders building their own little prisons while trying to escape.

I believe right now she is very hopeless, and she has a lot of trauma to face in the coming days. However, the more I think of it, the more it seems yesterday's ending was not her giving up, but a spark awakening, however small. And maybe, just maybe, that spark is enough to start chipping at the walls. Time will tell.

#or maybe I'm delulu #and this is her breaking apart #slowly and slowly #maybe her story doesn't have a happy ending #and I'm the one grasping at straws #qsmp #qsmp baghera #qsmp lore #qsmp federation #tw child abuse

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pascaloverx · 4 months

Text

Rewrite The Stars

Chapter Five

Summary: One photo changes your whole life, when you accidentally bump into a celebrity and the world starts to believe that you are a couple.

chapter four chapter six

"I'll have the chocolate truffle pie with whipped cream." You respond to the waiter who is taking your dessert order.

"I'll have the same as her, but without the cream." Pedro responds by closing the menu and handing it to the waiter.

"I think we have to take pictures of each other. Most of of couples do this and I can set it as my cell phone wallpaper. " You comment while taking a sip of the wine Pedro ordered.

"Any pose for a photo you want to suggest?" Pedro asks, seeming to agree with your idea.

"Just look at me, like you think I'm one of the most beautiful women you've ever seen." You suggest taking your cell phone and watching from the corner of your eye, Pedro takes his cell phone out of his pocket.

"I truly think you are one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen." He speaks subtly as if this sentence won't make an impact on you.

"That's what I call getting into character, Mr. Pascal." You say getting ready to take photos of your fake boyfriend. Unfortunately, you can't help but feel embarrassed because you think this is the level of flirting you're going to hear.

"Thanks for the compliment but it wasn't a character line. That was my honest opinion." And then you look at him, like someone who doesn't believe what he's saying but doesn't know how to react even if he be sincere. He then takes your photo while you look at him.

"The photo was supposed to be cute, now I'm going to look like a mess on your screen." You say, taking a careless photo of Pedro in return for him taking one of you.

"I see you're the vindictive type, should I be worried?" He asks softly, seeming to make fun of the situation. You look at him smiling, trying to show that you are satisfied with your action.

"If you don't get up to anything, you don't have to fear anything. In fact the photo turned out better than I thought." You say showing the result of the photo you took of Pedro. It was very natural beautiful. It almost looks like a real boyfriend with the handsome appearance.

"I would like you to explain in detail how you imagined this photo would turn out. Remember that's your boyfriend's face you're talking about." After hearing Pedro saying this, you immediately laugh. Before you react, the waiter brings the desserts. You and Pedro then begin to delicately eat your respective desserts.

"I used to ask the head chef here to make this dessert for me on my birthdays. In total I spent about four birthdays working here. It always seemed magical when I ate it this dessert. I guess I'll have to find another birthday tradition now." You say as you enjoy every piece of your chocolate pie.

"You seem to really like that pie. There's some cream in your mouth. Let me take it out." He says, passing his fingers under my lips and in reflex, I end up licking his fingers. I mean almost licking his fingers.

"I'm so sorry, that was reflexes being quicker than reasoning. I swear I didn't mean to..." You say, apologizing for the light lick. How embarrassing.

"Don't apologize. But it's interesting the types of reflexes you have. Hopefully this will give a sexier tone to our date." He says laughing at your face. He's barely started dating you and he no longer takes you seriously.

"I'm glad you're having fun. But after this I'm ready to go home. If you don't object." You don't know how to continue this dinner after what you did.

"Dear, if you want to go. We will. But there's no need to be embarrassed." Pedro kisses his cheek as he gets up to pull out your chair. He then surprises you by placing a light kiss on your neck just in time for a paparazzi to take a photo of the moment.

"How did you know the paparazzi was going to take this photo?" You ask quietly, avoiding that anyone except for Pedro could hear you.

"I didn't know. Now come on, I have to take you home." He speaks naturally, giving you a peck on your lips. Without any reaction, you spend a few seconds standing still, contemplating the man you are pretending to date. Your heart races as you realize that your fake boyfriend has unimaginable effects on you.

tag: @wanniiieeee , @hungrhay and @leilanixx

#pedro pascal x y/n #pedro pascal masterlist #pedro pascal x you #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal #fake dating #unrequited love #reader insert

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riddles-n-games · 4 months

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Why do you think avery and Jameson’s characters/Jameson’s story felt off? It feels off for me, too, but I can't put my finger on it.

Hoo boy, where to start? This feels like peeling wet paper from wet paper. Also, sorry this took so long to make. I was constantly putting it off because I felt like I kept not knowing how to continue this review at times so I really hope this doesn't disappoint.

Spoiler Warning: The Brothers Hawthorne Discussion

Plot-wise, first off, it felt like we spent a lot of time with the set up to get to the Game and usually JLB spends a very minimal amount on that before we jump into the riddles, puzzle-solving, clue finding portion of the story as shown in the last three books. Then when we get to the actual portion of the plot which is dedicated to the Game itself, the running around Vantage feels like it was all so quick and you don't even get to take it in because we're already at another part with a new clue that by the time you feel settled in, the Game is done and Jameson is the winner. So, I think the concern with the story on that front is the fact that she wanted us to have an element from the old books that we're comfortable with so we can continue experiencing that thrill we're used to, just from Jameson's perspective because this suits him to a T. And she's right. This is the Hawthorne brother we've come to associate with all these high risks, high stakes, riddles, puzzles, complex games, etc., etc. It's just her approach didn't feel right; she spent more time on one thing than the other, the set up vs the climax as a result of said set up were disproportionate and this would probably be as a result of the dual pov. We never had a dual pov before in the series so where one story feels completed, the other didn't. Had Jamie's story been one whole book on its own, she likely could have made everything in the plot more evened out, especially the part we're anticipating most: the Game.

Also, from what I can see, Grayson's plotline does serve as the typical storyline we see in TIG, THL, and TFG in terms of set up and execution of actions after the build up. But it also must have been thought out better because there was pressure from the fans to redeem Grayson after the events of the last book. To be fair, JLB may have also planned it out that way in the first place. It's just disappointing to read through a book with the one brother I wanted to see in his best element because he fit this script the most having his storyline cut off seemingly abruptly. I know it's easier for her to come up with stuff for Grayson because he's still underdeveloped but she should have taken more care of Jameson since he is already developed. It causes inconsistency and on her part, looks like lazy writing and that she didn't even want to write his story. Most complex story she's written, my ass. If she wanted to just write Grayson's story then she could have done that, it would be believable enough that she just wanted to leave Jameson untouched because of the work she put into him rather than taking back all the good stuff we've seen come out of him by the end of TFG.

Now, with Jameson's character development, I think that the problem was the dilemma he was facing with his mind being "ordinary" compared to that of his brothers. I don't think I minded that part that much but when I review how he acted in the original trilogy versus how he was in this one, this problem kind of abruptly seems to show up, even with the flashbacks where this was demonstrated to be a topic of interest. Maybe JLB should have created some kind of set up for his character having this problem in the first books like she did with his lack of father figures issue which clearly makes him sensitive and his desperate need to win. These were things that had an origin and were portrayed appropriately in the book with a somewhat satisfying conclusion. This one just felt like it was there and the issue was quite quickly resolved so it kind of just makes itself appear as something that could have been easily ignored. He also falls short on sounding like a human being because she has made his mentality and personality so one dimensional and basic that a robot has more complexity than him. We get it, he's hungry for more almost all the time! But that's not all there is to him. And as a Jameson girlie, I feel like she made it so much harder for us fans of him as a character and the chosen love interest for Avery to give reasons as to why we liked him. I mean, back in 2022 and throughout 2023, I don't know how many little analyses and rants I came across that projected the goodness of his character. Now what am I supposed to justify? I was hoping we'd get that deserved deep dive to see what else drove him besides the obvious and what did we get? Just an endless loop of what we already know and have seen.

On the topic of Avery and Jameson as a couple in this book, uh, I think that JLB could have done a better representation of it from Jamie's perspective than the way she did in TBH. They had some pretty great moments like their problem-solving sequences, the getting ready scene before the opera, the little stuff like their hand symbols to signal to each other, Avery comforting Jameson, and Jameson confiding in her the secret of what happened in Prague. However, I found the way that JLB described Jameson's thoughts towards Avery a little too out of character. I get it, there's nothing wrong with him being physically attracted to his own girlfriend, that's definitely part of it but it felt too lusty and not the way he seemed to view her from what we saw in the last three books. I mean, even Avery wasn't quite so lusty towards him. The flirtatious components weren't what I was hoping to see especially after his many swoon-worthy moments from THL and TFG. Honestly, regarding my opinion on this, there's a recent post by @elif-in-wonderland that summarizes my thoughts for me perfectly.

There, that concludes my current thoughts on the book regarding Jameson's side. If I do end up having more opinions to share, I will be sure to make a continuation to this in a follow up post. Thanks for the ask!

#jameson winchester hawthorne #jameson hawthorne #avery kylie grambs #avery grambs #averyjameson #the brothers hawthorne review #tbh spoilers #the inheritance games rant #the inheritance games #the hawthorne legacy #the final gambit #the brothers hawthorne #tig #thl #tfg #tbh #thank you for coming to my ted talk

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jessiarts · 2 years

Text

I don't know who needs to hear this, but no one ever learns from being yelled at.

I've watched from the sidelines of many discourses/"cancellings"/what-have-youse that've happened around the internet and one thing I've noticed is none of the "Internet Public Enemies" ever learned from their mistakes or changed their minds by being bullied, receiving death threats, or threats of cancelling.

At best I've seen rejected public apologies. At worst I've seen people have genuine mental breakdowns and develop intense fear of ever speaking up again in case they accidentally say the wrong thing or their thoughts are misconstrued. Because the human mind is simply not equipped to deal with the very real effect of hundreds of thousands of people very loudly saying how much they hate you and that thing you said.

You know what I have seen change people's minds, though? Kindness.

I know, it sounds corny and not nearly as satisfying for some, but I've genuinely seen more people change their ways of thinking when someone has taken time to have a calm conversation with them instead of screaming back.

I think we need to try more love with these interactions. The goal should be to get the other person to grow as a person, not to "win" because you made the "bad person" leave the internet. Most people genuinely don't want to be hurtful, they just aren't informed.

The best way I can put it is to think about it like raising a child.

When a child says or does something bad, and they get screamed at and/or smacked, they don't "learn their lesson." The person who yelled at and/or hit them only took out their own frustration on that child, they didn't teach them anything. The child doesn't learn why what they said or did was hurtful or why they shouldn't do it again, they only become afraid of the punishment and usually try to find ways not to get caught the next time. They also just become resentful of the person who screamed at/hit them.

However, when a child says or does something bad and instead they are sat down and talked to like a person about why what they said/did was harmful, they're more likely to learn from that mistake and not do it again. Yes, they may mess up a few more times now and again as they're still learning and not perfect, but as long as you keep coming back to them and calmly explaining to them that what they did wasn't very nice and why, they'll grow as a person and learn they can trust the person who helped them through it.

The same is very much true of adults. I know it can be frustrating when someone who we believe should know better about something doesn't, but we also can't go after everyone like they are a Big Bad Evil for making a mistake either. (Save that energy for corporations.)

Will there be some people who just won't listen no matter how much it's explained why their behavior is hurtful? Of course, but they likely won't be the norm. And it's perfectly ok not to consume the content of someone who makes you uncomfortable. It's ok to state your disappointment and leave them to slip into irrelevance. But I've rarely seen a big flashy announcement for a boycott of a person result in that person believing anything other than they were being persecuted and then doubling down on why their behavior wasn't bad.

It's honestly a very Terminally Online thing to do, assuming everyone is meaning to be a bad person for supporting or saying the wrong things, and propagating the idea that if you mess up you must grovel for forgiveness that will never come because mistakes mean you are inherently bad forever and can never change.

Honestly I believe that's why so many people double down when confronted anymore. The internet has cultivated a culture with no forgiveness. Admitting you were wrong has become weakness in the internet's eyes- Better to double down and show everyone how Right™ you are and really how Wrong™ those bullies who disagree actually are. And if someone does come to change their mind, they're met with jeers for not getting there sooner or for believing the wrong thing in the first place. It's toxic.

We need to allow apologies and encourage growth and guidance. We need to let people know that if people make a mistake they'll still be welcome when they change that behavior. And also that they won't be met with some variation of "See, was that so hard?!" or "FINALLY!" That's important too.

We can't punish the behavior we want to see, and punishment isn't going to help us see that behavior.

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jacevelaryonswife · 1 year

Text

A gift for you | HOTD Modern 「AU」

You loved Secret Santa, but you were unlucky enough to receive dubious and average gifts.

pairing: Jacaerys | Aegon | Aemond | Lucerys and Helaena x Fem!Reader

a/n: Merry Christmas sweeties, here in Brazil is the 25th, in other places to the east is probably the 26th. I hope you have a great day and holiday ❤️

You loved Secret Santa but were unlucky enough to receive dubious and average gifts. Even so, it was always a pleasure to join in the fun with your friends, family, and strangers — a story for another time. For the friend Secret Santa you had taken Helaena, loving the result of the draw because a little while ago she had mentioned a reputable book on entomology. Of course you bought the book — hoping she hadn't bought one too — and boxed it up with a cute picture of you at the beach last year.

When the night of delivering the gifts arrived you were very excited, but you hoped that Aegon didn't take you away again. He was HORRIBLE at choosing gifts. You also didn't want Luke to have taken you because he probably wouldn't know what to buy and would end up turning to Jace, telling him who took it. Soon, only Aemond, Jace, and Helaena were left as decent gift givers.

By drawing lots to determine the first to reveal, you have started the most anticipated event of the year.

“So, my Secret Santa. is someone very special to me and-“

“Awn, honey, you are also very special to me too,” Aegon interrupted, earning a glare that was a little irritated from the others and a little amused by your own.

“I know, Aeg. Moving on, the person I took is very sweet, kind, and quirky. It’s an extraordinary person who I have a lot of admiration for.”

“Then it’s not Aegon,” Luke teased with a shitty grin that made him curiously cuter, making everyone but the eldest Targaryen laugh.

“Fuck off,” he let out a huff, but surrendered to the mood of the moment. "Not Aemond either, he's not sweet.”

Before Aegon noticed his brother's slashing gaze, you countered: “He is very sweet!”

"Thanks love,” Aemond's expression softened at the praise, drawing his brother's attention to you.

Going back to the presentation, you added:

“This person recently expressed interest in a specific gift that I hope they didn't buy. My Secret Santa is Helaena!”

The two of you shared a big smile before/during the hug.

“I can't believe you bought the book! I loved!!!! Thank you so much sweetie, I love you.”

“Love you too Hel.”

She took her turn, picking up the red bow wrapper. Fun fact about Helaena: even though she is an excellent gift giver, she is horrible at mysteriously revealing her Secret Santa, nothing subtle, although she tried.

“My secret friend is someone very kind and sweet-“

“Not Aegon again,” Jace interrupted this time, earning a satisfied smile from Aemond. “Sorry.” He told Helaena.

“You guys really love me,” the eldest grumbled.

“And I'm so happy to take you out again! It's you Jace!" She grinned at the Velaryon.

Okay, you think her spontaneity was cute, but rather anticlimactic. Last year she had given him a sweet dog named Vermax (it was quite difficult to get him to the place without him noticing). This year she handed him a football autographed by Joe Montana, making him nearly choke in disbelief.

“Oh my god, how did you get that? This is the best gift ever! After Vermax of course, but oh my god oh my god.” He freaked out, grinning as he caught the ball as gently as a newborn baby. It wouldn't be surprising if he kissed the object made of leather.

“You wouldn't believe me if I told you.” She smiled after hugging him, returning to her seat beside you on the comfortable rug in Targaryen mansion.

“That was impressive.” Aemond pointed out, fully aware that no other gift would top this one.

His sister confirmed in self-knowledge, earning a sideways look from the youngest. Next up was Jace, who had an adorable decorated box and a cute smile on his face. Important fact about Jace: the first person you look at during the speech will be his Secret Santa. Everyone knew but no one warned him, it was fun to watch him do it every year.

But apparently, he had noticed such a habit and decided to keep his eyes on the present tense as he spoke:

“So, my Secret Santa is a really, really special person. This person is smart and kind, has one of the biggest hearts I know, and is one of my best friends. She always complains about receiving bad gifts, like a picture frame, soap kit and a set of three aluminum pans last year-“ Oh! Okay that was surprising. He took you!!!!!

Your smile was so wide and happy as he revealed it, heart warming immediately.

“In my defense, you always liked to cook.” Aegon cut him off at the hint. Yes, he had given you three aluminum pans that would stick to ALL the sauces and food you cooked. Maybe if they were good pots you would have appreciated them.

“You like to fuck and that’s why I should give you condoms?” You asked. “Also, the quality of the pans were horrible.”

“Oh common.” The blonde grumbled, pouting cutely.

“Okay, so even though I've known you for years it was quite difficult to find a really, really good gift. For a moment I almost bought a set of pants and t-shirts at forever 21, but who gives someone clothes for Christmas? So, since you're a bit of a nerd and quite conceited, I thought I'd buy something to tie that together.”

You hugged him before opening the present, resting your head on his shoulder. “If you had bought a set of clothes I would have killed you. Love you, Jace.” Your voice was low on the last part, almost confiding.

“Love you too.” He kissed your temple, handing you the box.

Your eyes widened to the gold necklace with your favorite heroine's symbol carved into the pendant with small stones the color of her uniform. Below was the hardcover novel of your favorite saga, which was also hers. There was a note inside, and a small box of jewelry.

"I loved Jace, I can't believe it, it's perfect, I love you so much!!"

You touched the note with a knowing eye, saving it to read later. He noticed this, smiling sweetly at your act. He returned to sit across from your, keeping a sweet gaze in your direction.

“I'm next.” Aemond announced, rising elegantly. Fun fact about him in Secret Santa: he's incredibly methodical and direct, there's no much suspense, but he's really good at describing. “My Secret Santa is a brat, and he can be a real brat sometimes, but he has a big heart and knows how to be… adorable. I didn't really know what to buy initially, but when you said you wanted a good zombie game for Xbox I thought it would be a good opportunity.”

Another interesting fact is that Aemond sometimes purposefully confuses the audience in his description, and he's really good at it.

"For a moment I thought it was Aegon." Helaena said in confusion. You agreed with her, seeing the smile curl the youngest Targaryen's lips.

“It was intentional.” He looked at Luke with a small smile as the youngest ran towards the present, hugging him. “Left 4 Dead is a classic, I hope you like it.”

“Did you buy both? Thank you Aemond, this is so cool.” Lucerys's big blue eyes were excitedly over the gift.

The blonde smiled proudly in satisfaction. “Glad you like it.” As I said, he is very methodical and doesn't usually disappoint.

"Okay Jace, which gift did you pick for me or Aemond?" Aegon teased him with an unimpressed and aware look as Luke took the relatively large box in his hands.

“This one is mine, actually. I had bought a better present for my Secret Santa, but since he embarrassed me in front of Baela and Rhaena last week and didn't apologize I decided to buy something he will probably put to better use.” Luke quickly blurted out that Aegon was his Secret Santa, leaving him intrigued by his new gift.

“I didn't embarrass you entirely. Entirely." The blonde took the box curiously, opening it to find a crate of Heineken and a Marlboro wallet. “I don’t even like Heineken!”

"I know." The younger Velaryon retorted with a proud smile.

“How did you buy a case of beer and a pack of cigarettes? You’te underage.” Aegon complained. "This was worse than anything I've ever given you."

“Thanks Luke.” You thanked him in amusement, watching Aegon pick up Marlboro Watermelon's wallet with a slight frown. “You like to smoke, I think it was a valid gift.” The elder's gaze was incredulous and accusing towards you, making you jump to answer. "And no, I didn't buy it."

When Luke confessed that it was Daemon, Aegon's gaze narrowed. Turning now to him, the last to deliver the gift, the terror of all participants in the competition. Aemond heaved a sigh as his brother walked to the front of you, not sparing a grumpy grunt.

"Oh Jesus."

“I'm sorry, dude.” Jace comforted him with a hand on his shoulder, making Aegon roll his eyes before starting.

“Every year you complain that my presents are awful. This time I made sure not to make the same mistake as it may not look like it, but I love you guys and especially my little brother here. It was fucking hard to find something good, since you don't like anything-"

"I like a lot of things." Aemond cut him off sharply, holding back from rubbing his eyes in realization.

“Anything fun. So I hope you like this one, it's pretty nerdy.”

“Is it a teacher-student porn?” Jace asked in mock serious tones, eyebrows raised and eyes cynical.

You chuckled before raising your hand towards him for a high five, but then, Aemond unwrapped the gift to reveal a rather fancy book on the history of the Persian Empire. Okay, it was a really good gift.

"Are you okay?" Helaena asked the elder in mock concern. “That sounds like a decent gift.”

“It is, thanks brother.” Aemond rose to embrace him, trully satisfied with the new addition to their collection. Knowledge is never too much.

“Glad you liked it, that was pretty expensive.” He stressed. “And now, what shall we do?”

“Let's take a picture with our gifts.” You suggested, turning on the phone to put on the camera.

“No please.” Aemond complained again, earning a bored look from him. The man was a hiding machine.

“Yes please!” Finding the perfect position that featured all of you and those in the selfie, you instructed, “Say fuck Aegon.”

It didn't take much prodding from the other four.

“FUCK AEGON!”

“Oh common.”

For my lovelies: @madame-fear @damatheirin @faces-ofvenus 💓

#aegon targaryen x reader #jacaerys velaryon #jacaerys velaryon x reader #helaena targaryen #helaena targaryen x reader #lucerys velaryon #lucerys velaryon x reader #aemond targaryen #modern aegon #modern aemond #modern jacaerys #modern lucerys #modern helaena #modern hotd

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cyborgpulsebooks · 6 months

Text

Pulse of Life Press 1st Anniversary - and an experiment!

It's been a whole year since I started this crazy artform! I can't believe it myself. The amount of books I've made in the past year has long since hit the double digits, and each and every one of them is incredibly important to me, flaws and all.

However, there was one book - my first book - that had more issues than the others, some that outright interfered with reading. Luckily I've been learning book repair at the same time as binding, but when I tried to fix some of the problems for Bernhardiner, it went...well... about as badly as it could.

What to do, then, with a ruined book? I didn't have enough decorative paper to completely redo the cover, with all the little dogs. But then I thought - why not leave the cover? I know how books work - I could pretty easily detach the whole case from the ruined textblock, make a new textblock, and just reuse the old case. It seemed like a sound experiment. Now, for the press's first anniversary, I have compiled most of the process under the cut, complete with pictures.

Please come along with me on this journey!

This was the beginning of the process, after having slooowly and carefully detached the endpapers of the textblock (right) from the case itself (left). You might remember this from my recent shitpost! To loosen the adhesive and separate the two parts without ruining either one, I initially slid a bonefolder into the hinge area of the case, and then switched to a thin little boi called a microspatula to slip through the glue not unlike a letter opener.

This did lead to some wear and tear on the boards of course, but it could have gone a lot worse. Most binders that I've learned from use a homemade wheat paste to attach case to textblock, but so far I have not been able to make it without the ingredients turning into an Oobleck-esque gelatin. Thus I use PVA glue, which is far stronger, and can lead to things like this. Still, not too bad. The case was successfully salvaged!

Before I describe and show off the redux, I just wanna share a couple of the errors and mistakes I made on the first textblock here, as I usually try and photograph my books with the least amount of flaws visible. Here we can see, firstly, that the glue job on the spine was shoddy at best; none of it really got quite between the individual signatures of the book, leading to weird gaps like that which compromise the stability of the book and show off the spine liner/mull, to my dismay.

In the other two pics you can see page numbers where they're definitely not supposed to be. Ah, MS Word, you son of a bitch and your terrible, terrible pagination settings. Took me months and months to learn how to paginate my books correctly, up until about my FINAGLC bind.

Not enough glue here on the pre-made endbands, either. It would sometimes fold under while reading, which wasn't super fun to see.

Finally, the botched repair that started this whole journey - I had attempted to fix one of the gaps between signatures (seen earlier) with some Japanese repair tissue, but ended up sticking these pages awkwardly together and fucked up that little top part there. A nightmare!

For all the above reasons, I actually decided to go back to my original typeset and revamp it. I've gotten some... teasing in my binding groups for the fact that my first few books were set in Times New Roman (which I actually find satisfying to read, thank you very much), which apparently gives off a sort of amateurish vibe. I've been experimenting with body fonts since, and the two I reliably use at the moment are usually Sylfaen (for shorter, smaller books) and Baskerville Old Face (for longer books). I switched it to Sylfaen here, and you can compare and contrast the results far down below.

Now, I'm not going to detail the entire bookmaking process here - just the interesting bits. If you want to learn how to make books, I highly suggest checking out @renegadepublishing's resources, as they're how I learned. But here we can see all the new signatures of the new edition nice and crisp and printed. In the second photo they've even been punched for sewing already!

At the co-op where I print and sew my textblocks, I often get to use real nipping presses like this bad boy right here. It's entirely metal (iron?) and way too heavy to lift. Between the two scrap papers peeking out is the new Bernhardiner!

But at home, this is my current set up:

Everyone, meet the eponymous Pulse of Life Press. POL Press, meet everyone.

A family member of mine made the wood part (obviously, a separate piece from the HS books) for me last Christmas, with no real knowledge of what a book press should look like at all. It's sort of a cross between what's known as a lying/finishing press and just some sort of regular old clamp. I line it with wax paper, stick the spine of the book in the center, tighten, and then cover the rest of the textblock with my trusty viz Homestuck books. It's a little MacGyver-y, but it's served me well.

This is the part where you glue the spine, attach the endpapers, and so forth.

For this redux, I decided to continue practicing making my own endbands instead of using the same pre-made ones I had for the first copy. These ones actually came out pretty darn well, if I do say so myself! They're the absolute neatest I've made them so far, and that's a relief. Obviously I still need work, but it's so lovely making them. <3

After this, I actually don't have a lot of pictures! It's basically just press, attach the spine liner and glue again, press again, casing in, and then...

Et voila!

Lookin' pretty good, if I do say so myself.

I didn't get exact duplicate photos of the original textblock's mistakes for a before/after, but you can probably just tell from these just how cleaned up the new one is. Rest assured those pesky out-of-place page numbers are long gone, and my spine gluing has gotten a lot better. I'm honestly just glad that it cased in so well - I was worried about that flaky board for a minute there!

And that's all. Thank you for coming with me on this little peek behind the scenes! Here's to many more books in the coming year - more to read, more to make, and more to write.

Cheers!

#cyborg rambles #POL press #bookbinding #fanbinding #book repair #it's also my birthday month so! double the warm and fuzzies #long post

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hail-brod · 4 months

Text

A Chance and Beyond (3)

Previous chapter: (Chapter 2)

Next chapter: (Chapter 4)

Masterlist

Series Masterlist

Loki x FReader

A/N: Note that I'm not really versed on the concept of time flow in the MCU so things that I will be explaining in this chapter may not be accurate but hej, this is fanfiction. Did try my best to understand Ancient One's explanation with the stones affecting the proper flow of time to integrate here so go easy on me <(＿　＿)>

Might just be making up some things along the way for things to fit!

This is a long one. Hopefully this would make up for the amount of time that took me this long to update.

Warning/s: Tony Stark, cursing, bit of angst.

WC: 5.7k

Doctor Strange confronts you about TVA and you get a nickname from Tony Stark himself. Really, you've had a long day. What else can you possibly expect?

"Time Variance Authority."

"Yes."

"Which is entirely non-existent nowhere within....?"

"The Sacred Timeline." you say. "It is outside the Sacred Timeline."

"Yeah, that." your new found sorcerer friend confirms as Strange's brows crease in thought. "And somehow it's somewhere? A secret organization filled with people who they took from the... Sacred Timeline and then do the dirty work of... pruning other branches of realities. Is that it?"

"Yes." you reply, steady in your seat. Taking in the way he tries to process this new knowledge.

"Now, what exactly is pruning?" he asks, every question he wants to ask mirrored in that look of him. Though, even if uncertainty was still present on his expression, you didn't miss the tinge of fascination dancing around his eyes.

You've been going on with this interrogation for almost twenty minutes now and it's quite straightforward—save for the little questions he add that he strikes as interesting to satisfy his curiosity. Nonetheless, it's nothing but... pleasant.

At most.

Not as stingy as before he is, and you'd wager because of this session giving him the massive information about what's out there, beyond the timeline, beyond the vast universes and you can't help but pride yourself in seeing him so eager yet so stoic in hearing what you have been saying. It's amazing that he manages to look so focused and intent on prying more and yet bits of astonishment seeps through his authoritative nature. That at least confirms that he seems to be believing your words.

But when he starts to explain to you about what he generally knows about timelines and it's flow, you realized that's why.

"The branches that you've mentioned," he inquires. "...you're saying that currently it's overloading because the Sacred Timeline is unkept and unmonitored?"

"Yes..." you confirm. "Yes. It's complicated and.... its hard to manage with so much branches. So everything... everywhere... there are a lot of possibilities growing outside of the proper flow of time."

You hope you understood Ouroboros well. Everything he had explained about the loom and the collapse of all as a result because of the murder of a certain time lord or whatever it is they call him and the possibility of a Multiversal war—as they would call it—was very much ingrained in your mind.

Which is rather a big matter than the world ending.

Because this is about everything ending.

"I'd ask what made that happen," he says. "but one branch of reality splitting outside of the proper flow of time means being overrun. A lot of suffering if I may add." his frown deepens.

You look at him, quite confused. "Well, you mean..."

Wait.

You've realized recently that concepts about time when it comes to sorcery can be quite different compared to the TVA but there's similarities. With what you know, there are the Fates—the Norns consisting of past, present, and future—the ones who weave the people's destiny. But with Strange's field of sorcery, it circles around the Infinity stones; as you've learned from him in your timeline. Plucking one stone out of the flow could result in millions to suffer which then creates the branch.

But in your case, the TVA, it's about the newborn realities that were... apparently unwanted. The dictation of how things should flow is always followed.

Although now, that's the system you and you're friends are trying to break. To renew. Just because of the absurdity of it all. One stray step from the paved path and it's all erased, letting everyone disappear from existence. And you have to thank your TVA friends for stopping that rule.

"Not necessarily..." you trail, downcasted.

"What do you mean not necessarily?" Strange looks at you pointedly, arms crossed. A disapproving sentience directed at you. "You say that's it's overloaded of branches. How is that not aligned to it being terribly diabolical?"

"TVA is different." you answer, holding his stare with certainty. "It's not a causality tied to just the stones, Doctor Strange. It's the causality of every living being."

"Just the stones?" he retorts. "This is about the Infinity stones. Capable of wiping a whole universe."

"I know. Hear me out, will you?" you stop yourself from letting out a frustrated sigh. Though, you almost miss the way he tensed up at how you addressed the most powerful might in the whole universe. You notice there's dread welling in him but he keeps it to himself with a determined look. "TVA wasn't exactly the best when it comes to 'protecting' the timelines. A fuse within the place caused some things to be questioned. The way of things were questioned. Then chaos ensued and the people that I know... who are there—right in this moment—are trying to save the timelines.

You glued your eyes unto him. "The branches aren't suffering, Doctor. They're new realities with living people, writing their own stories." you trail off the last lines.

Your words hung in the air. Silence has never been this loud before but you let him take the time to decide his next words. If you didn't pay much close attention, you could've missed the shift of his stern demeanor to a faint gentleness.

"Are you a variant?" he asks. "Before all of... the messed up timelines?"

For a moment, you froze. You could distinctively feel your chest tighten but you soon shrugged it off in a blink of an eye. "I am. Everyone in TVA is."

"But did you work for the TVA?"

"No." you plainly answered. "It's a very long story."

Something in his stare felt comforting yet enigmatic. At one glance, you'd see someone who's merely doing the job for their own benefit but you've long since started this conversation far enough to grasp what's likely and unlikely. You feel like there's no use hiding your troubles when he seems like he had already seen through you.

"It always is." he says.

You almost sink down on your sit, arms crossed as you avoided his calculating eyes.

"And it must be hard." he continued.

As much as it kept pinching your heart hearing it, you ignore his comments. Whatever it takes.

You sat there, withdrawn compared to before. The refusal that you were showing using silence made you look like a child, having a conversation with their parent for being caught in an unacceptable act. And nor should you want to reveal anything beyond what's he's headed unto. That is your lone past, your burden to carry, to remember. Now, what you aim is to create a new future entangled with the people you've met. That's all that matters.

You keep telling yourself that. Like you're trying to forget every bit that came before you knew about TVA.

The less you remember, the less it can hurt you.

Strange waits in silence but you see him turn away, inhaling. Oddly, he bats an eye on a specific corner in the room but before you could imitate his actions, he continues once again. "If you say that the branches aren't suffering, what exactly is the problem?"

Quite thankful for the shift of questions, you answer. "The proper flow of time." you start. "The massive amount of timelines branching out of the Sacred Timeline leads to chaos. I could say there's a war coming but crucially? There won't even be a war when all of existence is currently set to fade away."

You feel his pointed glance on you and as you look up to him, you see the frown etching up his face. Maybe, you've also spotted a hint of horridness in his eyes.

You know you said it was not a good idea raining these information down to them but this is only Strange. One out of too many. And you trust him to be able to handle such truth.

But you also know he's still a person.

"It's..." you try to say. "I... but I still believe there's a way to save both ways. I just need to get back to the TVA."

His frown did not dissipate, but you see his shoulders slightly drop. "And by trying to use the Time stone, you hope that you might be able to work it out. Correct?"

"Yeah..." you trailed off. "I hope."

I'll take any chances. You think. Even if it's unlikely possible.

"If this doesn't succeed," you continue. "we might have to turn our plans towards technology. I believe Stark and Banner would be very helpful on that, don't you think?"

"You put too much faith on them when you're just a stranger in their eyes." he says, eyes drifting away before back at you. He still wants answers. "I believe you mentioned you fought with heroes. Can I assume the Avengers has something to do with that?"

"You can." you reply, lifting a briefly tight smile. "Your alternate selves aren't that different from the ones that I know of."

He cocks his head up at the information with a plain expression but you see a slight wonder eliciting in his eyes. You sense that he wanted to ask something more as he opened his mouth but he soon diverged on a different one. "How can our technology even reach the heights of what you require to achieve?"

You hesitatingly shrug. "I don't know much but I do know TVA is also managed through... some kind of technology. Maybe it's impossible and unheard of.... but it wouldn't hurt to try."

"A tech outside of time?" he raised a brow quizzically. You only shrugged again which only made him look quite confused. "That's going to be really complex."

"What can a sorcerer say?" you say as you earned a pointed look from him. Oh, he did not like that.

"I was once a man of science and I still am." he sternly says as he tries to hide his irritation. "You have no right to question my profession."

You were quite take aback as you blinked at the small outburst. You contained a laugh. "I meant myself, Doctor."

"Oh."

You gave him a faint lopsided grin but made no further step in rousing his mistake. He eyed you down as his irritation slowly dissipates into a softer glare. As if saying that you should shut your mouth.

No matter what universe he is in, he's still devilishly good at intimidation....not that he has intimidated me before tremendously...

You tell yourself.

You almost feel like somewhere out there, someone is laughing at your interrogation session.

"Right..." he slowly says then breathes. "I'm going to take your word for everything that you've told me. But if you want to use the sto-"

You we're already most intent on listening to what he has to say but oh, it seems like you've almost forgotten about one of your bodily and existentially issues once you felt the odd feeling of tight gripping within your guts. The nerves you felt while hearing his response catches up to you but in this manner, it twists your whole form.

You warped and deformed. Maybe some part of rousing your nervousness can be the trigger to time-slipping.

Though, you can certainly say you didn't miss this.

Once your body steadied, you opened your eyes.

And you met the luminescent light of green, blinding you for a few seconds before you registered the culprit of it all.

Strange stands back a few inches away from you compared to the last time he stood moments ago and what's also entirely new is the opened eye dangling upfront his chest.

The Eye of Agamotto.

Soon, you did notice the green rays of light was extending to your own form, hugging you with it's cool yet warm sensation. You think at first that the magic engulfing you felt so foreign because this is the first time you've interacted with a Time stone—but at the same time... it's not.

It wasn't foreign. No. It's just somehow.... bigger and... overpowering than how it usually feels.

How it usually feels...That can't be right.

But your eyes catch sight of Strange's face as your view gradually cleared. His hands stuck out with the same circular engravings you've always associated him with, but instead of a fiery orange hue, it was now gleaming in green.

"You okay?" he tries to assure, brows creasing.

You let the feeling sink in, exhaling. "I... I think so. What did you do?"

"I used the Time stone. As what you have wanted and what I was about to say." he answers, slowly lowering his hands. You see remnants of franticness on him. "But I actually have no idea what I did. Just casted it's powers on you."

You frown at him. "That's not very reassuring."

"Well, you asked for it." he jested, but his expression lightly softens. "You don't feel any different, do you?"

"I believe not..." you say, stretching your fingers, cranking your neck and checking for any anomalies that may have occurred to your physique. "I am... fine."

"Let's hope that does the magic. I don't particularly know how the TVA works or anything out there when confronted with magic but..." he explains, giving you a knowing look. "..it wouldn't hurt to try. At least it didn't hurt, did it?"

You eye him gently as you shake your head and you catch the distinct break of his gaze to a calmer one.

You feel anew.

You don't look different but you certainly feel lighter as the magic of the stone courses through you. It doesn't affect you in a way how the Time stone manipulates time, but in a way that just...holds you together. But for how long? This could only be temporary and you have no qualms with that, but the fact that this very stone can be effective and useful for the TVA, brings a sense of hope to you. Magic may be nullified in that place but exterior to that, the Time stone could be boundless when used to get there.

You really hate magic nullification.

But that's just speculation. Only actions can prove it.

"What we're you going to say again?" you asked him, quite disoriented.

Strange blinks. He then recalls to his previous sentence, shaking his mind off to focus back on his point. "As I was saying, I will be the only one using the Time stone. And well, that's been done. But the next attempt at using it, you tell me and I'll help." he was back yet again at his stern mannerisms but this time, he seems more...friendly? "Understood?"

You almost mindlessly nod but you tethered yourself up to a clear nod. Before you could say something else, he speaks up, slowly looming before you.

"And I haven't fully given my trust to you. I don't wanna keep threatening you for that but....betray us and you have the whole Avengers' team for an enemy." he stands back with a content expression, almost giddy-like. "Hope that's about clear."

Believe me, you say to yourself. I wouldn't dare.

One thing for sure, you're just glad that he agreed to help you.

After you gave Strange your thanks, a genuine one at that, he replies it with an equally genuine nod...

Then sends you back in your blinding cell.

Thankfully, this time he didn't opened a portal below you to fall in but heeded your previous word of preference. Though, you admit that it's still uncomfortable on your part to experience the shifting of environment once again.

At this point, you'd think that you may have earned the right to be free, out and about from your irritatingly bright cell, but it seems like the Avengers are tough to convince when they suspect you as some kind of an enemy. To give it thought, that is understandable. Yet, it cannot be help to feel some sort of annoyance towards it.

The vast space of the cell seems to mock you of out of the comfort that you once knew. You honestly preferred the brightly lit orange office that the TVA emanates. Even the bustling time analysts rushing in different directions across the place breathes you a little bit of life.

There's the kindness and assurances of Mobius.

O.B.'s chirpy smile after saying something absurd.

B-15's gentle heart whenever she explains the worth of those branches.

Some sort of joke Casey doesn't seem to be able to comprehend.

The look Sylvie gave you when you told your tale of escape from the past TVA. And as your disbelief hindered you speechless after knowing who she really is.

And Loki.

How one look of him for the first time after you we're captured, broke your heart into a bittersweet mourning.

Not that he died in your timeline. Well, at least you almost thought he did.

But to be ripped out of that reality and then wipe it off of existence is like losing everything you have ever loved. As if a world just died with no remnants nor echo to prove the wonders of that life. Which is, unfortunately, the case.

Except, only for you alone to witness it.

It's no different when compared to death. B-15 knew that.

The Loki that you met in the TVA may not be the one that you knew, but it was still quite hopeful for you to see that maybe not everything was lost. Maybe you can still belong somewhere. Or see your old friends and family again. Even if at some point, it's bound to hurt you, to know that you're an anomaly, a displacement in every single universe that you'll end up in.

To feel like an imposter.

But the cast of friends you made with Mobius and the others gratified you somehow. And you're not ready to let that go. You want to help fix the TVA then after that....perhaps you can decide your next steps.

Breathing in, your thoughts speak. Look ahead, fool. You'll fare well without those memories. Starting all over again can't be that awful...

You berate yourself albeit hesitantly.

Though, is it really worth forgetting everything you've come to cherish? There's a feeling that tells you, yes, your inner turmoil would not exist no more if you'll just forget those moments in your timeline. But you know that's not what you want. And you also know the aching pain of loss is truly unwanted for anyone, yet you feel inhumane to choose not to feel that.

What does it matter?

You can't help but drift your eyes in a moment of daze as you unconsciously fly your fingers to your other hand, caressing the ring that sits there. You then bring your eyes down to it.

It looked simple yet...enriched. Just like how Asgardians do very much love their golden treasures and land, your ring was no different. Though what makes it special is it's carved runes rounding the accessory to which it bestows it's means of definition to bind.

They call it the Asgardian Betrothal ring.

The name says it all. But besides that, another memory catches up to you when you're brought to look upon your halved severed finger to where your ring lays. Unusual it is, but you've grown used to it's sight and the remembrance it leaves on your heart is clear as the day. You thought at first you could not bear the bizarre feeling of a missing finger, but time proves you lesser so.

Because it does look quite cool, as what Midgardians would say.

Nonetheless, the might to have experience the cause of it stems deeply in your mind.

The Dark Elves did truly ensure that.

As you trace your fingers against the ring, you can't help but think how good of a combination a severed finger and a ring could be together. It sounds absurd, you admit. Especially when it kind of metaphorically shows how your supposed marriage have been cut short—like your finger.

An omen you don't want to think too much even as though your situation have gotten worse, more or so than it predicted.

My Norns, you think. do you even exist? Or is this just punishment?

Your face fell into a deep pained frown.

Loki was your fiancé.

Your Loki that withered away because of the TVA.

Your marriage with him had pended for a long while for various reasons. You can't say royal courts have no squabbles at all because that would be unreal. And as a daughter in court, you've learned your fair share of duty that comes with it. But when you say royal court, that mainly involves the royal family.

And Loki's folks doesn't have the simplest of all families, but contrary to that.

It didn't bother you both much for your betrothal was never stemmed from your hearts. It was only a matter of arrangement on the All-father's part. He only asked of you to perform a duty for the realm and for Loki to be the second prince that he is.

Or so you thought.

Though, people know it themselves of each and everyone's reputation in the royal palace, they see Loki as an outcast among them but that didn't deter you to form a some sort of....acquaintanceship with him.

And there's no possible in Hel you would admit to yourself that he didn't became dear to you.

It has come far more than that.

Which then spelt your doom.

Luckily, no more time-slipping for you.

At least in the last few hour or so. It seems like the Time stone proved you well of it's abilities—for the most part.

You just don't want to assume.

As you busied yourself conjuring a dozen projection of tiny floating petals by your palm, dancing along the illusion of a wind, a few heavy steps interrupt you. You crane your neck to see the three men that entered the area, standing just right behind your cell barrier. You see Doctor Strange, Bruce and Tony.

You lightly frown.

They look like they have so much to say. Am I in trouble?

Bruce opens his mouth to speak but Tony butts in. "Hey, congrats, you're free." he then smiles at you and slides it down quickly to an unamused look. "Mister wizard here says you're worth the shot to help, though I disagree since, well- everything you we're saying sounded like a lot of bullshit-"

"Tony, hey." Bruce cuts in, giving him a disappointed sigh. "We talked about this."

You raised a brow. 'you we're saying'?

"I know, I know." he surprisingly says as he waved his hand off to Bruce to let him talk. "Let me finish this. Like I said—bullshit. But," he paused for awhile, eyeing you in seriousness. You don't miss the hesitation lingering in his expression. "the dangers you claim sounds a lot of a big deal than whatever we've known so far and I don't take lightly in trusting some....Time Pasta from out of nowhere. But it seems like you've got admirers in the team and they outnumber me. Which is dumb by the way."

You see Strange roll his eyes beside him. Though, you somewhat feel relieved to hear that the majority of the Avengers favor you well enough to help. You don't really mind the small distrust for now but at least—like Strange apparently said—you're worth the shot to help.

"So you're..." Tony continues as he taps a few times on his...bracelet? And then looks up to you with a swipe of his finger towards your barrier. In less than a second, it completely dissipates in little pixels, the whole wall gone right before you. "a free woman. And yes, don't try anything fishy or....'you have the whole Avengers' team for an enemy.'"

"Okay, that's it." Strange gives Tony a stern look.

But Tony stays his eyes on you. "You're lucky Bleecker Street Magician vouched for you."

"Hold on." you halt them, frown deepening. "You we're watching our interrogation?"

Strange turns to you. "Trust me, they insisted."

"You could've at least told me." you retorted. You we're quite upset but you guess it's better they see the whole clear picture of your story rather than just planting suspicions on your motives and existence.

The sorcerer gives you an apologetic look.

"Oh, how can we not pry? You we're the suspicious one who came out of literal nowhere." Tony gives you a satire grin.

Fair point. At this point, would it be bad if they knew? Probably. You don't learn these things in your daily life even if you're a superhuman who can do magic or a genius in an iron clad suit. But then, they seem to be taking it quite well.

You think.

You exasperatedly sigh "Fine. I get it."

"Good." he replies then eyes you intently while he pulls something out of his blazer. You wait to see what it is and you see a tiny speck of something red between his fingers as he stretches it out to you. "Gummy bear?" you stilled and only eyed it suspiciously but you quirk up an amused brow. "No? Yeah, well, have it your way." and he eats it himself.

Of course he offers snacks whenever you least expect it. your mind speaks. A feature of every Tony Stark, I suppose.

Maybe it's also a good sign he's offering you so.

You glance amongst them for a few seconds before you can step out and down from your acquainted cell that you will never miss. Any left cautiousness you saw from them when you first appeared have leveled down just a bit. That heightens you down to an ease. You want them to know that you can be truly trusted so you walk patiently as you observed them.

Now that you've crossed out, Strange speaks up. "How's your time-slipping? I doubt people wouldn't get scared of you if every passing second your body's ripping apart."

"Yeah that," Bruce joins in with a concerning glance. "it really- it looks horrible. You're like...a walking horror movie."

You don't know if you should be offended or be guilty to have made people feel that way but you blink away. Whatever a 'horror movie' is. You just let out an 'Oh' as you turn to answer Strange's question. "But yes, I think it's working."

The said man sags his shoulders down in relief. "That settles that for now then. In the meantime, I need to go back." Strange turns around and opens a portal to somewhere you can't quite recognize.

"Where are you going?" you crease your brows at his leaving figure. "What about our deal and plan?"

He stops and looks back to you, exhaling. "We can start tomorrow. Surely, you've had a very long day."

You softened your gaze. He's right. Was it even day or night? You've been everywhere and moving from place to place before you came. Then, questions thrown for you to answer. Maybe a rest should do you good.

Strange sees your ease and receives the message, giving you a single comforting nod. He then finally enters the portal as it closes to a speck of dot.

You're glad that he's warming up to you even if just a bit.

You're now left with the two genius scientists with Tony picking up the lead to say something. "And that's also my queue to leave." he looks at you. "Also, Bruce is right. You're not just a walking 'horror movie'—you're a walking 'Horror Time Pasta Movie' so you won't be going anywhere without supervision. Who knows what else is happening to you."

You have no idea what you're hearing. But you make it a point to tell him that you have a name.

"Yeah, you-who-whatsoever. You're still Time Pasta for me." he says with a fake smile then turns around to head for the door. "Remember, you're being watched around here!"

You don't doubt you are. A 'free woman' he says. Now my whole prison is just the entirety of this building.

You could always magic your way out but where would you go? And it isn't worth the risk when their trust relies on that terrible decision. You just need to find a way back to the time organization that you realize you've been quite obsessing over now.

You shrug it off. You need to lay down and rest.

That's also when Bruce speaks up. "Don't mind Tony. He's always like that and he still has a good heart." your eyes snap to him as he walks towards the door. He gestures for you to follow as you complied. There's a hesitation in his tone as he continued. "I did hear that you we're allies with us in your timeline, so you probably know how he is. Unless, maybe, he's more of a jerk there..." he turns to you with an apologetic look.

You chuckled. "Well, nothing's particularly changed I supposed. We're usually more on good terms." you eyed him kindly.

He huffed. "Wait, really?" you nodded.

He started to ask questions about multiverses. He gets so expressive with his reactions when he hears something so different and unexpected. But he also mentions a bit about Thor and Loki.

"Thor warmed up to you so easily." he says. "I mean, he could be biased because you're one of his people but I guess that works well for you. He really tried talking it out to them on your behalf."

Your heart softens at that. And you don't know what to think. There's that lightheartedness washing through you and you miss the feeling.

He then continues. "Even Loki acted different."

You dart up to him. "What do you mean?"

"Oh, like," he starts. "he's actually willing to side with you—which he doesn't usually does with anyone. Especially when you just came here this morning."

Oh, you echo in your head. it's only been that long?

But you go back to his words. "Loki is?"

"Yeah," he looks to you. "you're close with him? With his- what do you call it again? Va- Variant?"

You inhale. "Variant, yes. But no, you call them Variants if-" you pause, not wanting to ramble more about the TVA and anything about it. You've said enough relating to that topic and you don't think you can handle more mentions of its complexity.

Seriously, it's tiring.

"Nevermind." you defeatedly sigh as you gave him an apologetic look. "Yes, I know...Loki."

He seems to notice your tiredness and hesitation. You try your best to bring up a smile but it just became strained.

If Bruce ever saw your sadness, he didn't mention it.

You skim back to what he said about Loki. You can't deny that it's odd that he would side with you in this circumstances considering that your interactions so far where not quite good. But at the same time, it gives you a sense of warmth to know that he would.

Though, you don't want to delude yourself further if this escalates differently.

As you tagged behind him, which soon changed with you walking side by side, you take a moment to survey the halls you we're passing by. It was increasingly different than you expected. But as you walked further, the scene shifts to a few turns, then stairs as you go up and finally catch sight of the glass paned walls that lets you see the vast fields outside of the compound. Though, only a few specks of lights we're radiating the field so you don't see much because it is night time.

You hear the faint voices and steps of Tony right ahead but you don't see him. It gets closer and closer as the echo surrounds the place as you lastly hear cusses like 'shit' or 'dammit' that slowly fades away into silence.

It seems like he already left.

You realized you actually don't know where Bruce is leading you, so you ask. "Where are we going exactly?"

"Oh yeah, my bad." he replies apologetically. "Tony wanted me to show you to your room. And don't worry, this time it isn't a prison."

You somewhat light up at that.

You then stare at Bruce whose slightly ahead of you now. You think that maybe you should thank him for...well, almost and kind of, for siding with you during the previous arguments. He's always been such a kindhearted soul to everyone including you, and you guess he always will be.

"Thank you," you suddenly say. He shifts his attention to you in wonder. "for putting up with me."

His brows lift up and he softly smiles. "Don't mention it."

After you had bid your farewells with Bruce and with you being able to settle in your new room, you take everything in.

He was right. Not a prison.

Everything looks normal and comfortable but also too sophisticated than you preferred. But nonetheless, you'll do away with it because you can't afford to be fussy over little things.

The bed was made up with white blankets and pillows. A few Midgardian necessities on a vanity just across the bed. Then a door that probably leads to the bathing quarters along with a massive wardrobe that you will unlikely need and a seating area just right where you entered. It's fairly big but it honestly cannot contend compared to Asgard's chambers.

"Then again," you mutter to yourself. "this isn't a royal palace."

As you surveyed more for awhile, your sight catches the wide windows that behold the scene outside. This time, you see everything clearly as the moon rays illuminates the night and you stand there for a moment basking in the serene view.

It's calm, you thought. yet there's a storm coming.

You just revel for awhile in the moment as your previous tiredness sinks in. You've ran enough. It's time for you to settle, even just this once.

But before you could turn around to head in bed, you hear someone mutter your name with frantic breaths just a few feet from behind. And as you panicked to hear someone else in your room, you look back to see...nothing.

No one.

Have I gone mad? you frantically think.

But you heard it clear as day.

You heard Loki call for you.

Previous chapter: (Chapter 2)

Next chapter: (Chapter 4)

Masterlist

Series Masterlist

'A Chance and Beyond' taglist:

@oscarissac2099

Ko-fi?

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shiny-jr · 4 days

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Okay I've just been my lurker self the whole time so now I'm extremely late to the party but I just have to say sth bc personally contrary to my expectations rather than Pomfiore I really loved the Scarabia result a lot. Well I guess the ending messed with it a bit for me personally bc I just can't imagine it ending in a satisfying way no matter what, but anything up until then? JUICY you literally had me at the edge of my seat the whole time the tension between everyone was SOO good it felt like really. Exciting? Reading it honestly

I'm not good with wording things like this so I wish I could just beam by feelings and experiences into your brain so you can Understand but like. It was an absolutely amazing read and I can't believe so many people have and continue to brush past it

Like yeah I didn't expect it esp bc so far I don't think I ever came across anything centered around the Scarabia guys that didn't just make me feel extremely neutral but it might just be my fav so far. Rotating in my brain regularly.

(also on that note PLEASE post the results here too unless I somehow missed that!!! I need them in my Tumblr collection to re-read)

Okay passionate 4am rant over thank you for your time. Also yeah I'm extremely tired so I just wanted to add that i hope this doesn't come across as me not liking the other stuff or sth bc I absolutely LOVE it. Your writing in general but esp damnation it's so so good okay byeee back to my hermit existence I go

Seriously? Well, I'm glad people are still enjoying Scarabia. As I mentioned before, Scarabia along with Octavinelle are the two results I am not particularly proud of. But they're there. They're a thing. They exist. Out of all the results thus far, Scarabia gave me the most trouble with by far. There were just a lot of obstacles and pauses when writing that particular result, as it was actually the only result thus far that I had to rewrite.

Unfortunately, the Scarabia duo always get bypassed for other dorms, which is really unfortunate because their relationship and chemistry is very intriguing. I don't think I portrayed that all too well to be honest.

Anyways, all the results thus far on already on Tumblr. The only ones that are missing are Ignihyde and Diasomnia, because they are currently still in the works. But the progress with those two seem to be going pretty steady, actually, faster than anticipated. At this rate if it continues like this, I'll have both results ready in time for the next milestone. But that's far ahead in the future, so I'm currently not too worried about that at the moment.

Thank you very much for your words, anon! I really appreciate it. I hope you did end up finding the results on Tumblr alright, but just know that they're there already. Check the masterlist if you are having trouble finding them, or just send me a dm and I'll be glad to send a link.

#shiny speaks #damnation twst au

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cursedvibes · 1 month

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Just read your answer, and can't say I disagree with what you said about sukuna but i believe that gege was trying to indicate that yuuji's birth has dark origins through sukuna. Though you were spot on about people measuring up yuuji as per sukuna's perspective. Please also share your view on the cursed spirit that impregnated the girl because I don't think cursed spirits can reproduce and choso and sukuna sharing the same nose mark/tattoo. Thank you

Yeah, Yuuji's birth absolutely has dark origins, that much was clear ever since we found out that Kenjaku is his mother. I just don't think whatever Kenjaku did to create him is much worse or on a whole other level than their other crimes like infanticide or forced pregnancy & abortion.

There isn't really that much to say about the cursed spirits that were used for the Death Painting experiment. We know cursed spirits usually can't reproduce, so Kenjaku must've tinkered with them in some way (and Gege pretty much says that in the fanbook as well), but it's hard to say how. With how little focus the experiment has gotten, I also doubt we will ever get a clear answer. Maybe when we get into Yuuji eating the Death Paintings and what effect that had on him, but I'm not super optimistic.

However, I think you can say that whatever happened couldn't have been overtly sexual or similar to penetrative sex because for one, curses don't have reproductive organs (exception being Mahito, but he's a shapeshifter) and also, when the mother first got pregnant and got discarded by her family, it seemed to have happened very suddenly without her knowing the cause for it. There would have been no "mystery", she would've known that she experienced some form of a sexual act and then she got pregnant from it. So it must've been a process more complex or less noticeable. It also seemed to have happened accidentally, maybe even without the curse's knowledge. How would they even know about her special uterus. It didn't seem obvious to anyone else before she suddenly got pregnant. Kenjaku was then the one who brought more structure into it and also I assume vetted the cursed spirits they used beforehand to get better results. Couldn't have been very special curses though or maybe curses aren't able to pass on most of their characteristics because aside from appearance and toxicity, the extraordinary abilities of the Death Paintings come entirely from the relation to the Kamo Clan. Even with the mother's special body, curse-human hybrids don't seem to be viable if they are born the regular way, probably why Kenjaku aborted them so early and kept them in their cursed womb stage. Besides not being satisfied with how they were developing obviously.

The stripe on Choso's nose and Sukuna's tattoos are just coincidental similarities I think. The shape if them looks different and it's not an original tattoo of Sukuna's either (like the dots on his shoulders or lines on his back for example). Might just be there because his real nose is broader than Yuuji's or Megumi's and connects to the mask-like thing on the right side of his face. That's the only difference I see and it has a very different function compared to Choso's nose stripe. Besides aesthetics both stripes don't seem to have a deeper use. Like sure, it makes a pattern on Choso's face when he uses Blood Manipulation, but it's not like he necessarily needs that. If it wasn't there his blood pattern would just look slightly different like in Noritoshi's case.

#asks

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thelostgirl21 · 10 months

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You know, one very pervert effects of queer baiting, I'm discovering, is that the queer community has been so used to look for any hint at maybe romance they can find, to satisfy their own 100% healthy need to connect with romantic partnerships in fiction, that when two same gender characters share profound bonds of love, emotional and physical intimacy (perhaps even have the occasional sex together), seek companionship, enjoy going on adventures together, would probably be willing to freaking die for each other, etc.

Well, when the show or people on the show attempt to say "no, this is a friendship", the reaction is to go "who are you trying to fool? This is obviously romance! No people that are 'just friends' would behave in such a way!"

Meanwhile, demisexual me, that can't sexually desire anyone unless I share deep bonds of trust and emotional intimacy with them (but not necessarily have any romantic desires for them), and thus has had a habit of more often seeking sexual intimacy with people I wasn't romantically attracted to (because it can sometime take a while for me to develop the kind of emotional connection I need with a romantic interest to find them sexually desirable as well)...

AND who has a very easy time "turning herself off" someone (in terms of sexual desires) when that sexual attraction isn't reciprocated...

Knows that romance and friendships aren't as clear cut, or black and white, as people often appear to believe them to be.

Society will teach you stuff like "sexual/physical desires occur as a result of 'falling in love' or 'finding someone sexually appealing'..."

They don't teach you "you can have no romantic desires for someone, yet feel so emotionally close to them you'll have a seemingly irresistible need to fuck them!"

They don't say "you can yearn for romantic love with a person, yet experience no need to sexually connect with them until you can trust them as much as you do your friends".

They don't tell you "you will meet friends, in your life, that may of may not return your sexual desires (should you have them), that you'll have absolutely no remote interest to have them as boyfriend/girlfriend, that you'll nevertheless want to share a part of your soul with, make a lifelong connection, be fiercely loyal and devoted to each other, perhaps even move in together for a time at some point, consider them your found family, share specific interests in common that will feel like something that exclusively belongs to you two, and whose rejection would make you feel like they were tearing your very soul apart and near kill you!"

If you want one absolutely gorgeous example of a strong platonic emotional connection (that used to involve a one-sided potentially non-platonic attraction), Jace and Alec, from Shadowhunters, are a gorgeous example of that.

My friendships are typically fierce, deep, epic, heart-shattering and world-ending!

I've been known to endlessly agonize (my boyfriend was getting worried, because I could barely sleep, had little to no appetite, and often look like I was physically in pain) over a best friend that I'd always been extremely close to (but never felt sexually attracted to), who had started to emotionally distance herself from me, and treat some of the personally traits she'd always claimed to find "charming" and "refreshing" about me as suddenly "annoying", after she met her girlfriend (that would eventually become her wife).

*Spoilers alert* We eventually talked things through, and reconciled, although the exact nature of our relationship did indeed need to evolve and change a bit to adapt...

And Jaskier is talking about the fact that he loves Geralt platonically *NOW*.

According to Joey Batey, Jaskier is sapioromantic. Technically this would mean that he would be a gray-romantic, and seldom experience any desire to form a romantic connection with people.

He can desire them sexually, can immediately "fall in love with them" and start following them around like an adoring, excited puppy dog (I think that's definitely what happened with Geralt).

He might want to share his mind, his thoughts, and strongly emotionally bond with them.

He might year for human connections that bring him a sense of thrill and adventure, that inspire his creativity, and might entice him to enter a form of companionship with them.

But not necessarily share a romance with them.

And sadly, while I believe that Geralt's own affections for Jaskier were genuine, the way he experienced them appeared a bit different (and hindered by his own trauma) - possibly because of his awareness that having Jaskier following him around put him at risk.

But then, the moment Jaskier started singing about Geralt, people took notice and started targeting Jaskier to get to him.

After what happened with Rience, I think Geralt realized that there was no going back for them.

The best way to protect Jaskier is to fully let him in, and treat the bond they share together with value and respect - keep him close to himself and his family.

I'm pretty sure that whenever Jaskier is being asked to watch over Ciri, both Geralt and Yennefer are doing so because they feel better knowing that Ciri is there to keep him safe, too.

At least when Jaskier is with Ciri, then he's not running off to who knows where getting himself into trouble!

And if trouble does come to find them, then they'll have each other.

As Ciri's uncle, Jaskier can troll Ciri's parental figures (Yennefer and Geralt) with her, playfully mock their flaws, side with her against them on certain issues, and openly tease them (how are Geralt's smiling lessons going?).

At times, he can also argue her parents' side with her (ex: when the daughter is frustrated of being kept out of certain situations, or told she's not ready for something yet).

And she's more likely to listen to him. Because those aren't his rules, he often takes her side, and he may openly acknowledge that he finds those rules extremely frustrating, too!

Therefore, she can listen to him without feeling like she's got to assert her own independence from them.

Jaskier has the advantage of being able to support Geralt and Yennefer's decisions, while looking like he's doing so entirely on the belief they they are sound, based on his own external assessment of a situation.

Not because Geralt or Yennefer have any authority over him, and he's forced to agree.

Jaskier may not be able to fight and physically protect Ciri (hence, the forcefield).

But he can offer significant protection by reducing the risks of Ciri doing something brash and impulsive, now and in the future, by simply being there with her and for her.

And Ciri's own needs - as a highly trained warrior - to make sure that Jaskier is safe, will make it easier for her to accept that she's got to stay put with him, at times she'd rather follow Geralt and Yennefer into action, too.

Geralt own encouragement of Jaskier and Ciri developing their own familial bond together would not be happening if Geralt didn't consider Jaskier family, and wasn't deeply attached to him.

Platonic or not, that level of attachment, love, and trust matters, and becomes a part of yourself.

Jaskier didn't let Prince Radovid inside the cottage - where Ciri slept - and he didn't tell him why he couldn't let him in, either.

His romantic interest in Radovid is new. It is a growing attraction and affection that is still in its infancy, and he's still unsure of just how far Radovid is to be trusted.

That relationship is not meant to replace, nor take away anything, from what he and Geralt share and have shared.

And if Radovid is, indeed, to love him, then he'll need to accept that Jaskier doesn't exist in a vacuum and that his heart is big enough for a group of people.

Like Radovid said, Jaskier doesn't just see people, he sees the best in them...

And he falls in love with what he sees in them...

Jaskier loves a lot!

Some people, upon becoming romantically interested in someone, will suddenly shift their focus towards them, and seek to isolate themselves with their prospective romantic mate for a while (like what happened with my friend when she got her girlfriend, and what was happening with Geralt each time Yennefer showed up)!

Whereas when I become romantically involved with someone, my instinct is not to put the emotionally intimate friendships I have aside in favor of romance.

My instinct is to share that romance with my friends, try to include my romantic partner within that tight knit group of people, and give everyone a chance to get to know each other.

I don't put friendships aside for romance. That's not how my heart works. What I share with each friend is unique, can't be replaced, and each loss is experienced as viscerally as that of a romantic partner.

Am I saying those things to you because I believe that those of you that are adamant that Geraskier was played out on screen as a romance are wrong?

ABSOLUTELY NOT.

Quite the opposite.

What I'm saying, is that what queer baiting has viciously stolen from us the ability to fully enjoy and explore the full range and complexities of human friendships.

I'm decrying and condemning a practice, that has literally conditioned us to see non-romantic sexual attraction, platonic love and companionship (that yes, can 100% transcend romance), and all their nuances, specificall as "romance"; given that's usually the only "romance" we'll be allowed to get!

Because the type of friendship I'm describing has been over-represented in literature, TV, movies, musicals, and video games between same gender characters.

In a world where same gender romances are viewed negatively, we've been forced to accept "deeply intimate platonic relationships" as the only substitute being offered to us to open the joy of watching an openly acknowledged queer romance on screen (that doesn't end in tragedy)

We've been forced to learn to "read between the lines" to identify the signs that there may be "something more", and make those romances real in our imagination.

Each time I see people go "making that relationship queer would send the horrible, negative, and terrible message that all close friends of the same gender are romantically attracted to each other! That men being close friends is gay!"

I don't know whether to laugh or to cry!

It's the complete opposite!

If, the only way you are allowed to communicate gay intent with a queer audience, is by showing two "close friends" sharing together an emotionally and physically intimate connection of "non specified nature" to replace romance, then EVERY CLOSE, INTIMATE FRIENDSHIP AUTOMATICALLY BECOMES GAY!!!

How are we supposed to tell the difference between "strong platonic love and companionship" and "strong romantic love and companionship" when you refuse to give an answer, or you give us an answers, while continuing to crank up on the romantically intimate elements while HOPING to keep us hooked on the POSSIBILITY of the romance, to avoid losing viewers?!

Canonically, same gender friendships on TV go from being casual friends, to friends that regularly eye fuck each other, share their most intimate thoughts and feelings together, couldn't live without each other, and rub chamomile onto their best friend's lovely bottom while helping them bathe naked.

Whereas canonical friendships between men an women on TV go from casual friends, to deeply emotionally and physically intimate bonds if the friendship is between a woman and a gay man (to remove any chance of them developing romantic and/or sexual feelings towards each other, that would "muddy" the friendship and "ruin its chances of success"), to possibly a brotherly/sisterly bond at times, when one of them has found themselves a romantic partner and, thus, isn't available as a love interest.

Most of the time, though, one of them might be secretly "pinning" and "in love" with their best friend, and "secretly suffering" that the other person is comfortable with them being so emotionally close together without being "in love" with them, too!

Straight relationship drama will teach us that sneezing in your best friend's direction means you are romantically/sexually attracted to them, for frak's sake!!!

Let us try an exercise, just for fun.

Let us replace Jaskier with Yennefer.

Imagine that the first time she met him, she was immediately smitten at the sight of him, and offered to follow Geralt to the end of the world on his adventures!

Imagine that despite his efforts to tell her off - even after he punched her in the guts - she kept insisting, and Geralt started really warming up to her.

Imagine that she decided that she wanted him to accompany him to a ball for protection, because highborn wives were upset that she kept sleeping with their own husbands, brothers, and sons.

Imagine that, when she spoke about her being Geralt's best friend in the whole wide world, Geralt answered "We're not friends", and Yennefer answered "Oh, really? You usually just let strangers rub chamomile onto your lovely bottom?".

Imagine that Geralt's response to that was simply to ask "How many of these ladies want to kill you?", thus acknowledging he'd been busted.

How many straight people out there, do you think, would find themselves reading their deep, canonical, platonic connection and comfort with being so physically intimate with each other as a "friendship without any romantic element", do you think?

How many would openly argue that we just want to make everything about romance, and send the message that best male and female friends can't just rub chamomile onto each other's butts without any intent or attraction!

Oh, they can, I'll tell you that!

I've been blessed with becoming friends with wonderful non-toxic 100% straight male specimen that I would gladly trust to shoot artistic nudes of my body without feeling objectified by them, that I feel absolutely comfortable snuggling up to on a couch while watching a movie, and that are extremely good at respecting my personal boundaries and the friendship I have to offer them.

As someone who is pan, I have never treated any of my friendships with men, women, or any other gender identities differently.

I've never had that sense of "I feel safer being more intimate with my women friends than I do my men friends, because they don't risk misinterpreting my desires to be physically and emotionally close to them as a romantic or sexual interest instead."

However, have men ever tried to convinced me that I "couldn't possibly just want them as friends" when I was so comfortable being emotionally and physically (hugs, holding hands, playing in one's hair, caressing one's arms, leaning your head on one's shoulder while watching TV, etc.) close with them?

Absolutely!

For some, those were clear signs, or ways to express, romantic/sexual attraction, and there were no other ways to read them.

Needless to say, I did not keep those men as friends.

Well, I kept those that found it a bit "weird" and unusual, sure, but were nevertheless able to believe me, respect my boundaries, and adapt to the fact that this is who I am.

I'm unable to conceive why relationships dynamics should change depending on the gender we're with.

I also kept around any man that admitted that they had a bit of a crush on me, and that any physically intimate contact between us would just reinforce their romantic desires.

I have wonderful friends that are touch adverse, too, and our relationship is based on emotional and intellectual intimacy without any hugs or physical contact.

They are extremely dear to me, and just as valuable to my eyes as any other friendships I have, too.

But that's the whole point. There are no actual strict rules regarding the actual boundaries of all the different types of love you might experience for others people

The only thing that matters is the ability for all adults involved to offer consent, and being dedicated to your platonic, romantic, and/or sexual partner(s) emotional and physical well-being and safety as well.

If you can't separate romance from sex, or even physical intimacy, that's okay.

We'll find the right balance between our respective needs and what we can offer each other.

But society tends to present stereotyped models of men and women friendships, where as soon as they reach a certain level of emotional and physical intimacy together, then they automatically realize that "OMG!!! We were romantically in love all along without realizing it!!!" Even worse, when they are "friends with benefits!"

In fiction, "friends with benefits" relationships are usually nothing but a romantic relationship between two people unable to acknowledge their true romantic desires for each other.

They will inevitably become jealous the moment that their friend with benefits finds themselves a romantic partner (that is often totally wrong for them! Allowing the "friend with benefits" to "swoop in to save the day and show that they are perfect for each other!"), and there's this looming threat of them no longer continuing to be able to sleep together on the horizon.

Of course, there's a risk that a friend you're sleeping with might become jealous when you enter a romantic relationship!

If the whole physically intimate dimension of your friendship has been built on your sexual activities, and you haven't taken the time to invest in other platonic forms of physical contact, to make sure that the "loss of sex" won't feel like you are removing anything important from the emotional bond you two share, of course your friend will struggle! DUH!

And if you used to see each other twice a week, and now keep on cancelling your plans you'd normally make with them, to go on dates with your "new and shiny romantic interest" - acting as if the time you were devoting to them was just a "poor substitute" for a romance - of course you'll make them suffer!

If you are having sex with a friend that you love with all your heart and soul, and wish to remain bonded to them in a platonic manner after you've found someone that you're romantically attracted to, make sure that you're able to fully commit to that friendship...

Because being friends with benefits is indeed complex, requires very high levels of communication, compersion, honesty, emotional support, flexibility, and above all trust.

I've been friends with benefits with people I loved in a non-romantic way not because I was afraid of commitment, but because I'm able to fully commit to my friendships and treat them with the same care, respect, and consideration as I would a romantic partners.

And those relationships do work.

Hence why I'm hoping that, should Jaskier become romantically involved with Radovid, and discover that he loses any interest for being sexually active with other people while romantically attached to someone, he and Vespula will still be occasoinally seen spending time being emotionally and physically close with each other (or that they'll at least mention something hinting that they do).

That she'll remain a close friend. That he'll still go knock on her door in the evening while in town just to lounge around, play her songs, and share thoughts.

It's been made rather clear that she does "mean something to him".

He may not be romantically attracted to her, but it's been made rather clear that he cares about her enough to regularly return to her (and perhaps even live with her for certain periods of time).

She spoke about having had some "fun on the side", too, implying that they might be each other's "main sexual pairing", at the very least.

The idea of Jaskier being dishonest with her - of him trying to manipulate her into believing that she means more to him that the other people he's slept with while he was traveling away from her - really doesn't sit well with me, at all.

I don't think Jaskier is someone that likes to play with people's feelings.

And he wouldn't have been discussing Radovid with her if he didn't value her input, either...

He might have been in denial regarding him having a "crush" on Radovid, in part because romantic desire doesn't come to him easy and his own fears of what him being attracted to him might mean...

But he was trusting her to listen and give him some feedback on his thoughts...

Jealously comes from fearing loss...

If Jaskier abandons Vespula because he's found Radovid, then her fears of being replaced will have turned out to be entirely justified...

So, whatever happens, I hope he does right by her.

Another aspect that I find interesting about the aspect of Jaskier's sapioromantism (i.e. of him only being capable of experiencing a need for sharing a romantic connection with people whose intellect he's attracted to), is that there are different types of intelligence.

I've a feeling that Jaskier's own "brain type" is people that are displaying high levels of emotional and relational intelligence, most of all!

Because Radovid oozes emotional and relational insightfulness...

Whereas Geralt is brilliant... But he is a bit of emotionally stunted goat.

So, he may not be romantically appealing to Jaskier; but I bet his bloated biceps that, in term of "love and devotion", he's likely one of the, if not the, most important person in Jaskier's life.

So I'm sincerely not explaining all of this to you to tell you that you are delusional about Jaskier loving Geralt romantically, and that everything you've read and interpreted as being romantic between them since the beginning is incorrect, far from it!

But I'm heartbroken, and somewhat angry, that queer baiting - combined with a lack of appropriate representation of deep, platonic, physically intimate friendships between two sexually compatible men and women - has created such a reality where Geraskier not being canon will make some of the fans of that ship feel like we are sending them the message that they've been reading those signals wrong yet again.

That there's something wrong with them for being unable to read those signals as being platonic between two men anymore.

No. We carefully taught you and continuously trained you to read those signals as being romantic, to maintain you as a captivated audience on various TV shows, while making sure to avoid angering people that see the world of romance and friendship as a rigid heterosexual black and white structure.

Can Geraskier be read as platonic?

My own personal interpretation made with my own set of biases and filters?

In the context of someone that Joey Batey mentioned experiences sapioromantic panromantic attraction, and pansexual attraction?

I would be inclined to think that Jaskier fell in love (without romantic desires), and was possibly sexually attracted to him the very second his eyes fell on Geralt.

He felt a strong emotional pull that made him want to get to know him more in depth emotionally and intellectually, share his adventures, and become involved in his life.

He saw the person Geralt truly was behind all of his own pain, abandonment/attachment issues, and trauma, and genuinely felt a deep empathetic connection towards him.

He loved that wounded Witcher so much, and his own unhappiness touched him so deeply, that he tried to change the way that the world saw him.

He sang songs that painted him as a hero rather than a butcher. He provided him with opportunities to be loved and admired by people, and well compensated for his services.

He felt Geralt's need to be loved and wanted ("Maybe someone out there will want you"), and tried to help him heal his own broken heart.

But Jaskier partially* put aside his own needs in doing so, pushed and tried too hard, kept waiting for Geralt to finally recognize that denying himself from what he truly wanted and needed in his life - companionship, a family, people that wanted him - was only slowly eating away at his humanity...

...and he got badly burned for his efforts. *Im saying "partially", because when we met Jaskier, he was being booed and thrown food at... So, I think he was also rather familiar with the feeling of being unwanted and rejected by people, and they were two misplaced souls that didn't really fit anywhere that found each other...

It's the "Butcher" - the uncaring, unfeeling, emotionally disconnected false persona that Geralt has been so set on holding onto - that Jaskier wished Geralt would have finally been able to let go of, and burn to the ground!

I tend to hear "Burn Butcher Burn" not as a "scorned lover song", per say but as a last desperate loving cry for Geralt to let "the Butcher" in him burn!

I think that any sexual attraction that Jaskier might have felt towards Geralt upon meeting him would have eventually fizzled away when he realized that Geralt himself wasn't in a good enough emotional and physical place to be interested in being sexually intimate with him (and/or was possibly straight).

But I doubt it would have changed a lot to his feelings or level of attachment towards him, because Jaskier's always loved Geralt, and sought to emotionally connect with him, way more than he ever sexually wanted him.

And I believe that, while he was able to forgive him for his harsh worlds ("I forgive you for your foolish words and deeds. Your lack of faith and hope. Your obstinacy. Doggedness. For your sulking and posing, which are unworthy of a man."), in order for Jaskier to be romantically attracted to him, Geralt would need to demonstrate a heavier dose of emotional intelligence and insightfulness than he's been able to openly demonstrate him thus far.

And, in order to be sexually attracted to him, Jaskier would need Geralt to be the one showing him some interest first.

The love, loyalty, and attachment is still there, though, bright as ever, and filled with more hope for Geralt than Jaskier used to have for him, I think.

And I think that Jaskier has very strong levels of compersion for Geralt and Yennefer, and is finding genuine happiness in seeing them share a healthy romantic and sexual relationship together, too.

But, I'm basing that analysis on what's been revealed about Jaskier now, not what we knew about the character back then.

You can make it work, and interpret what we've been shown thus far of Geraskier with little efforts, when your own way of of experiencing friendships and romance doesn't really fit the usual social models, but you really shouldn't have to do that.

It's easy for me to move forward, embracing Radskier as my main romantic ship for Jaskier, and Geraskier as my favorite platonic now more "brotherly" (but still occasionally romantic) one for him, but I fully expect some Geraskier fans to mourn, feel like they've been tricked and invalidated by the narrative, and have a hard time accepting that "two men showing so much love and physical intimacy together were meant to be platonic".

In real life? Yes. Two men showing so much love and physical intimacy together can be 100% platonic.

In fiction? We may not quite have reached the point where it isn't problematic yet.

Because when we look on the side of tradition men/women pairings?

Dana Scully and Fox Mulder (X-Files) became canon once fans became so invested in them they weren't willing to accept "anything less".

Buffy Summers and Spike, of all people, eventually got together, when he's a character that should have been killed off after two appearance,s because people like the character so much, and fans shipped the pairing so hard (just to be clear, I have nothing against the pairing)!

And then, there's Stiles and Lydia...

Where's the outcry saying that it "lessens" platonic men/women relationships, by suggesting that two emotionally close people can't just remain friends?

People just had to shout "Stydia is endgame! Stydia is endgame! Stydia is endgame! OMG! They are SO in love!!!", and TADAH! They got together before the end of the last Season!

Hetero ships that people get highly invested in do tend to become canon.

Gay ships?! *GASP! You know, two men or women together can be FRIENDS! They don't have to be GAY!"

No shit, Sherlock!

So why can't a boy and a girl, that have an insane amount of chemistry, and share tons of emotional intimacy together, avoid any romantic attraction?!

And I don't ever recall Stiles having ever bathed Lydia, nor rubbed chamomile onto her lovely bottom, alright?!

Why do they need to become a couple, and send the message that the deep love they share couldn't be strong enough if they'd remained platonic?

(I'm not telling Stydia fans that their ship is wrong or that they shouldn't bask in the happiness that the ship becoming canon brought them. Just pointing out how hetero and gay ships tend to be argued differently.)

But gay ships?!

Nah! No homo, bro/sis! Must have close same gender friendships representation!

So yeah, it's not that it's unrealistic for Geraskier to be platonic that frustrates me, but that sense of how we teach heterosexuals and queer fans to read scenes and relation dynamics differently.

Yes, I will enjoy that absolute gift of a queer romance that Joey Batey worked so hard for us to get with Radskier!

But, I still felt the need to speak out, and tell Geraskier fans that might still be feeling betrayed, or in disbelief that they called Geralt and Jaskier "platonic" that "I get it". That their feelings, disappointment, sense of betrayal, and hurt are valid, and that they have the right to mourn and struggle with accepting what was offered them (Radskier) instead.

You weren't reading romantic elements where there was none.

Had Geraskier been a romantically/sexually compatible man/woman "platonic friendship", they'd been "endgame". I'm pretty sure of it.

They'd even have been allowed to use "videogame logic" that says that Geralt can also end up with Triss, or any other partner besides Yennefer. They'd made it work!

#Jaskier #Geralt of Rivia #Geraskier #The Witcher #Radskier #Radovid #Queer baiting #issues #My posts #My thoughts #Personal #Sapioromantic Jaskier #Pan Jaskier #Panromantic Jaskier #Pansexual Jaskier

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