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jynxpsiche · 9 months

Note

Not Tangerine already planning on fathering reader's baby as his won, cause hey, the baby also has blue eyes so he can totally pass of as their son.

Also imagine if the real dad ever shows up and tries come back into the baby's life and Tangerine is all conflicted cause he loves the kid as if it's his own son :/

OH MY GOD THANK U SO MUCH ANON FOR REQUESTING THIS! LITERALLY CHEF KISS! We love a jealous Tangerine <3

Unwanted texts

💌. Summary: unanswered texts from her, lead Tangerine to meet someone he already despised…

…Tangerine meets the baby’s biological father for the first time.

💌. Warning: SWEARING. LIKE A LOT! Jealous Tangerine, female reader, canon gore. English is not my first language! I don’t know many British slangs!

c’mon babe

I just wanna meet the baby

be there for them, y’know?

pls answer me

It’s been already a couple of days and sometimes, during different hours of the day and night, your phone would ding with notifications…from him.

Your ex boyfriend.

The biological father of your precious baby.

The whole situation pissed you off. Firstly, when he found out about your pregnancy, he decided to leave without an explanation and leave you alone. Then he had the nerve to message you after god knows how many years.

It was ridiculous. He was ridiculous.

But obviously you couldn’t ask for any type of help from Tangerine.

He was quite the protective type, especially if the main cause was a shitty ex-boyfriend.

Surely he would have gone feral if he found out about your ex’s sudden texts. That’s why you decided to keep the thing for yourself and just…ghost him.

But who would have known that you would end up calming down a rather irate Tangerine?

However, it’s important to start from the beginning.

It was a day off for Tan, which meant that he would have spent the entire day with you and his little one. But since it was still too early to get up, for now he simply drank in your warmth and cuddled your body closer to his, without waking you up.

The curly man was affectionate only with his girl and his baby, neither to his brother he showed this side of his. He wasn’t ashamed of it, he just had a reputation to defend.

His chin was placed on your head while you were all nuzzled in the crook of his neck. His strong and bulky arms were tightly wrapped around your waist, not allowing you to leave. Not that you wanted to.

Only your soft breaths echoed through the room. But the peaceful atmosphere was interrupted by the ping of a notification. The sound made him grimace, but not waking up from his slumber.

Then another ping, closely followed by another and another one.

Now Tangerine was fully awake, his half-closed eyes glaring at the device on your nightstand. When he noticed no more ding’s came from your phone, he softly pecked your forehead before trying to fall asleep again.

But then again. A new message.

Groaning softly, Tan lifted himself from the bed, before pecking your forehead again and assured that you didn’t wake up.

He was not standing on your side of the bed, the device on your nightstand calling for him to check what had interrupted his sleep.

With a furrowed and irritated expression, Tangerine unlocked your phone, noticing new messages unopened. They had been sent just a couple of minutes ago.

He quickly glanced at your sleeping figure, a strange feeling bubbling in his chest. His expression furrowed more when he saw the contact’s name. X.

Who the fuck was that?

But he surely was took by anger when he read the multiple messages he sent you.

He wasn’t only a dickhead, but he was also the biological father of his son.

His bloodshot eyes read every line and every word of every message he dared to sent you. His fingers gradually tightening their grip around the device.

The another ding. Another message.

I know ur reading the texts

ur online

u finally have the courage to read what I’ve been sending you

u stopped ghosting me huh?

God you’re such a bitch sometimes…

His vision darkened at the last text he sent, nostrils fuming with rage.

I want to see the kid

Meet me here

Xx xx xx, xx

“Tan? You good?” Your sleepy and raspy voice reached his ears and immediately he turned towards you, his furious expression never leaving his face.

You noticed, of course. Slowly you rose from your spot on the comfy bed and lazily dragged herself up to his tense figure, wrapping her delicate arms around his waist.

A soft kiss on his back.

“What is making you so tense?” You whispered against his skin, your hands gently rubbing his sides. Tan slightly crocked his head in your direction, his brows still furrowed. A sigh left his lips.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He instead asked with a low tone laced with rage. “Why did you hide it from me?” His tone showed how he strongly demanded an answer.

“I could have handle it. I simply didn’t answer his texts to show him how an insignificant being like him should be six feet under. To show him how he was a nobody to me anymore.” Your tone was flat, laced with venom, finally expressing all your suppressed rage.

His expression immediately softened at your words, his brows relaxing and the wrinkles on his forehead disappearing. The tails of his mouth slightly raised in an almost visible smile.

But you noticed it.

When he turned in your direction, his hands on your waist, his lips left a soft peck on your forehead. His face was calm and so close to yours.

“I’m goin’ to take care of him. Don’ worry.” He whispered, his soothing voice sending you in a sleepy mood. A light yawn left your mouth. He chuckled at your reaction.

“Now go to sleep love.”

After you fell into another peaceful but deep slumber, Tangerine got to work.

With Lem’s help (after calling him for twenty minuets straight, the poor man was sleeping) he managed to find the phone location and so the location of the fucker.

It was now 3:45 am and Tan was alone in a desert neighbourhood. Silence was his only company at the moment.

He stood still in front of an apartment complex, his eyes fixed on a specific window while the cigarette in his hand slowly burnt.

With a flick he tossed the small nicotine stick and put it out with a stomp of his foot. His lips were curled into an annoyed curl.

Silently, he climbed the fire escape with big steps and in a blink of an eye his shadow was printed in front of the covered window, blinds hiding the inside.

But a faint light from behind them immediately caught his attention, a sadistic grin creeping on his moustache.

His hand grabbed the gun from his pocket and he shot the window’s lock, allowing him to access to the apartment.

Frantic, disconnected noises echoed from inside. Tangerine knew the fucker heard him.

Only when he entered he was met with a younger, dull man, his face pale and his eyes wide from fear. “Who…who the fuck are you?!” He half shouted, his voice cracking a bit.

The man wanted to show his composure so bad, show him how collected and tough he was. But in reality, he was shitting in his pants.

With great strides, Tangerine approached the trembling man, his pistol clearly visible. “‘s not important, is it? Wha’ is important is why you fuckin’ harassing my love with your insipid messages.” He spat out in a hard tone, his rigid stare piercing the man’s soul.

The man’s eyes frantically wandered around, he is searching something to defend himself thought Tan. Quick pants from the man often broke the silence in the room.

He took a step back, his hands shaking uncontrollably. His body language was visibly betraying him. “Just…the fuck you want from me?!” He continued in a fake authoritative voice.

Tangerine held his face high, communicating how he was in control. Slowly his arm raised and he pointed the gun in the man’s forehead.

“I want you to delete her number, to forget about her and the baby and to never contact her again.” He stated with calm rage. His tone extremely sharp.

When the man was the pistol pointed at his head, his confident mask fell, his eyes filled with tears and his still standing posture crouched on himself. Shamelessly he nodded his head at every request, his voice dead in the back of his throat.

Suddenly, Tangerine shot the man in the leg and he stumbled back. A cry came out from his mouth.

“This’s your last warnin’.”

#bullet train 2022 #tangerine #aaron taylor johnson #lemon bullet train #bullet train #lemon x reader #tangerine bullet train #tangerine x reader #aaron taylor johnson x reader #dadtangerine

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liulith · 2 months

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Sir Pentious & Alastor: an underrated dynamic

"Show yourself, Alastor! Come and face--! Oh, there you are. FACE MY WRATH!"

Sir Pentious has been in Hell for much longer than Alastor. That means he was there when the Radio Demon appeared, and he's been trying to overthrow Alastor for decades! We know what Alastor is capable of, and what he could do if he truly wanted Sir Pentious to stop. He obviously doesn't register Sir Pentious as a threat, but that doesn't mean he's not annoying (like when he interrupts his song in the pilot and destroys a wall in ep2). Yet in all those decades, Alastor always let him go with the equivalent of a slap on the wrist, considering what he's done to other sinners in his broadcasts.

And why is that? Why, he must find Sir Pentious very entertaining, of course! Even though he calls Sir Pentious forgettable (to rile him up), there's no way a narcissist like him doesn't LOVE being the main focus of Pentious' "evil plans", as pathetic as they are. Not only does he give him the attention he deserves (like Vox), he's a true "architect of evil" who constantly reinvents himself to try and get the upper hand on Alastor. To Alastor, Pentious is like a sillier, weaker, more immature version of Vox with close to ZERO survival instincts but twice the creativity. Even Vox, who made a whole diss track about Al, wouldn't dare speak to him the way Sir Pentious does if they were face to face.

"SILENCE! Now cower! For when I've ssslain you, the almighty Vees will finally acknowledge me as their equal."

He does have some "oh shit" moments when he sees he crossed a line/is about to get Team Rocket-ed, but he still gets back up and attacks him again with all the unearned confidence of a man who has no idea how easy Alastor goes on him.

Just like Alastor, Pentious is attached to the aesthetics and technology of the time period he knew when he was alive, and still manages to innovate with those limitations. I think Alastor could respect that.

"You whores have no class! In war, the side remembered is the side with the most style!"

It's also funny that to Pentious, Alastor is the young, modern one. Some phrases Alastor uses are "young people slang" to him!

Pentious asking Alastor questions on his "modern" radio technology...

Alastor is one sarcastic bastard, and Sir Pent is one of the most naive characters in the show. He takes a lot of things way too literally (#autism?). That's just PERFECT for comedic misunderstandings between these two!

Before s1 was released there were quite a lot of ace!Pentious headcanons. I think we could still make a case for closeted ace-adjacent!Pentious in canon! Possibility even aroace!Pentious, if we interpret his crush on Cherri as compulsive heteronormativity (he loves her creative genius and is fascinated by her explosive contraptions; surely that means she's the one, right?)

Ace4Ace Alastor & Pentious would be a fun duo in my opinion. They could bond over their shared experience

On the topic of bonding... ("I have feelings for you" (Narrator voice: the feeling was friendship, but he had ever experienced it before)

Seriously, imagine Sir Pentious spending more and more time around Alastor because of the hotel, taking his sarcastic and mocking remarks literally and thinking they're becoming closer... And then being like. WAIT. Do I have feelings for him?? and trying to seduce him like he does with Cherri Bomb. The absolute shenanigans... Rizzlord Pentious strikes again.

Accidental fake dating scenario that only exists in Vox's head, where Vox, being the stalker that he is, spies in the two of them bonding and reaches all the wrong conclusions

Once Sir Pentious dies for the second time and ascends to Heaven, he could meet Alastor's mom 👀

EDIT: OH and How could I forget the Egg Boiz?? Egg Boiz babysitter!Alastor is canon and he definitely babysat them multiple times in the few months Sir Pentious spent at the hotel. Joint custody :3

AND let's not forget the important information that Frank the Egg Boy reported to Sir Pentious lol. The one Charlie made a deal with Alastor for. I can imagine Alastor considering killing the Egg Boiz/ Sir Pentious after learning Frank didn't keep quiet (Imagine Sir Pentious trying to engage in a conversation w/ Alastor and telling him what Frank told him as a joke akfkkd), spending a whole afternoon trailing after them and making plans, only to realise that the Egg Boiz say insane shit all the time and Sir Pentious was in fact NOT playing 4D chess by telling him he knew (and probably already forgot all about it)

#hazbin hotel alastor #sir pentious #radiosnake #platonic radiosnake #egg boiz #hazbin hotel thoughts

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xpao-bearx · 1 year

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"Like A Virgin"

Steven Grant x Fem!Reader/Jake Lockley x Fem!Reader/Marc Spector x Fem!Reader

Read Part 1 HERE

Read Part 2 HERE

Read Part 3 HERE

NOTES: I literally put my whole heart and pussy into the previous part and it's just so THRILLING to see all the immense love and support!! 🥺❤️❤️❤️

I'm reeeally hoping y'all will like this part, too! Steven has an extremely special place in my heart, but this time we're shifting focus and giving our lovably murderous Moon Boy JAKE his time to shine!! \(^o^)/

Now as we all know, Jake unfortunately hasn't had a lot of screen time yet. I also watched Moon Knight for the third time and besides his confirmed appearance in the post-credits, there are some other more subtle scenes that I'm PRETTY sure Jake was in and it was a lot of fun for me to think so and obsess over!

But I digress! Anywhore, as I was saying, since Jake hasn't been on a lot the way I write him is PURELY made up. Of course, I try my best to capture the vibes I personally get from him, but until Season 2 drops (because I am NOT giving up on that) we don't know for certain what his personality's actually like (and I haven't read the comics please don't shoot me). It was a little challenging, but I really enjoyed getting to explore Jake and his perspective quite a bit! Though he ended up being a bit sadder than I intended CUZ THIS BOI JUST NEEDS AND DESERVES A WHOLE LOTTA LOVIN'❣️

Furthermore, I am not a Spanish speaker. Jake obviously is and I wanna stay as true as possible to the character by having him speak some (*cough* S E X Y *cough*) Spanish throughout, but if I made any mistakes at all then please kindly correct me as I mainly just use Google Translate and/or search up Spanish terms! For example, I was made aware that "ese" means "that" in Spanish. However, it's also Spanish slang for "dude", "man", etc. and I just find it fitting for Jake to call the boys that 😅

Also, Jake is...rough 😳 Don't worry, he loves and cares about you a LOT, but this is a fair WARNING in case you're not into that! And this part got pretty long, IDK I probs blacked out somewhere in the middle and this is le horny result~

Additionally, do y'all think the relationship between reader x Steven/the boys is going too fast? I really try to make it as natural as possible, but hey this is only fiction after all and I think Steven, for one, falls in love FAST since in the show he was already simping for Layla the first time they met 😂 But I can't judge Steven cuz I'd be the same if I ever met Oscar Isaac I mean, I'm already simping now but YOU GET IT

And a lil funny coincidoink, Like A Virgin came on the radio which I guess was your guys' universal push for me to continue this ASAP!

I truly am sorry for the wait!! Life is hard but I simp harder xD

TAGS: @autismsupermusicalassassin @ungracefularchimedes @pimosworld @ababynova @sweatyroadcowboyjudge @anapnovo-blog @am-3-thyst @harrys-tittie @zukoisbabee @wiltedwonderland @the-ginger-draws @bitchyglitterfox @readingfan @spidey-3 @minigirl87 @wandasupremacy @simba-will-live-on @wavychelle @thepowerthismanhasoverme @blackholegladiator @kittytiddywinks @literalfkinsimp @valen-yamyam16 @shaunalouie @howellatme @aleat0ri0 @bean-is-reading @indigxjunipxr

Part 4: Gonna give you all my love, boy

Your chest rose and fell with each soft, blissful snore. Your face void of any burden, open and peaceful; plump lips parted slightly, looking so kissable. And that's exactly what Steven did, lonely lips descending to meet yours--his slumbering goddess.

An insatiable part of him longed for you to awaken, to spend more time fumbling around in the sheets until sunrise. But he knew, more than anyone else, that sleep was important. And he had no doubt that after all the...unique events that progressed your relationship, you deserved all the rest you can get.

Like the proper gentleman he was, he had cleaned you up before snuggling in bed together until dreams inevitably consumed you. And now here you were, using one of his arms that he can't feel anymore as your pillow and your bodies exchanging heat.

Then his mouth lowered, down your chin, to your throat, and to the delicate dip between your neck and shoulder. Planting butterfly kisses on your skin, lips tracing and eyes memorizing every perfect imperfection that dotted your body like constellations.

He noticed your breathing slowly growing uneven, your nipples salaciously peaking through your tank top. He knew he had to stop. He had to, but...

He lifted his free hand, inching towards your breasts before freezing, clenching into a tight fist that had his nails digging into his palm.

His cheeks bloomed red, pulling away and laying on his back as he stared up blankly at the ceiling. What the fuck was he doing?

"Jake, mate... I know you're there, might as well say something, yeah?" Steven whispered.

'Your senses are improving, ese.' Jake snickered. 'Is that why you stopped? No need to be shy, it's just the same as watching porn.'

Steven turned redder, clearing his throat. "Jake, you know you can meet Y/N too, right?"

Silence greeted him. Steven waited patiently, giving his alter all the time he needed. As rough around the edges as they may be, the boys all cared about each other and Steven knew that all Jake needed--deserved--was time. Hell, he and Marc didn't even know Jake existed for a while until he finally felt comfortable enough to reveal himself.

'Nah, ese.' Jake snorted, though his voice held a certain heaviness to it. 'She's all yours. You deserve her, Steven.'

"You're a part of me, Jake. You deserve her, too."

'Don't think your little cariño would appreciate it so much that you're wanting to hand her off to some other asshole.' Jake scoffed.

"I'm not 'handing her off', you git. I wanna...share." Steven mumbled the latter, gulping thickly.

'Steven...' Jake sighed, but Steven sensed intrigue in his tone. 'I don't know what the fuck you expect from this talk, ese. We only share the same body, that's it.'

"You're lying and you know it. Two months working with Y/N, I never said anything, but I knew you were always there. This damn body isn't the only thing we share, 'cause I know your feelings are just the same as mine."

It was then that you mewled softly, shifting and wrapping an arm around Steven's waist and cuddling close to his side with a content little smile on your lips as you slept.

Steven melted and he felt Jake do so, too.

"I'm not giving you an out, mate." Steven chuckled, pressing a tender kiss to the top of your head. "I'm absolutely buggered and so are you."

♡•••🌙•••♡

Steven, that absolute fucking puta.

As soon as Jake opened his eyes, dread filled him. Slowly turning his head and seeing your back to him, he knew Steven gave up control at some point and forced Jake to come out from the shadows.

He's tried multiple times to drag that pendejo back out, but Steven has obviously put up a block between them. Jake sighed frustratedly, his gaze lingering on you once more.

His heart ached. And fuck it hurts.

He wasn't Steven.

He did not deserve you.

He was dirty--rotten. He was only good for causing pain; even the ways in which he protected the boys were brutal, inhumane.

And he loved the chaos. Thrived in it.

When Steven met you for the first time, two months ago, that was what Jake intended to cause as well. Pain. Heartbreak.

Nothing more than another pretty notch to add to his belt.

But you...surprised him. You actually cared about Steven, gave him basic human respect and the time of day when no one else did and just fucking listened. Accepted him with open arms and such a kind, blinding smile. And pretty soon, Jake yearned for that, too. From you. Just you.

You didn't even know he existed--you didn't fucking care about him--and yet you smashed his glass heart into a thousand pieces, leaving him to find the sharpest shard and continuously stab himself as punishment.

That's what he deserved. Not you.

But oh... You looked so cold. Why were you so far away? What the hell were you thinking, pulling away from him?

Like a lion stalking its prey, Jake crawled towards you until he was on top of you. His dark eyes trailed down your sleeping form, so beautiful, so vulnerable. He didn't realize his hand was shaking slightly as it reached up to caress your face, breath hitching as his thumb glided across your bottom lip before slowly slipping it inside your mouth.

He watched, completely entranced, as your saliva coated his thumb and the way in which you squirmed so that you were now laying on your back, facing him. You were still asleep, though your brows creased together and your breathing grew shallow.

What were you dreaming about, Jake wondered? Were you dreaming about last night? Steven didn't feel him then, but Jake was there and it was the best torture he's ever endured.

He can make you feel good--better. And if there was any room in your heart (and legs) for him, he'd more than happily prove it to you.

But you were so kind, so sweet... Surely you'd accept him, too, right?

Surely you'd relieve him of his huge fucking hard-on, right?

He found himself lowering, lowering, lowering--then stopped just as his lips were about to meet yours.

No...

You didn't deserve this. You didn't deserve him.

As if he was just burnt, he sprang away from you and sat at the foot of the bed, keeping as much distance as possible. His head hung low, hands scrubbing his face in frustration before turning into self-loathing slaps.

He quickly got a hold of himself, lest you have a cruel awakening to him. Not Steven.

He looked over his shoulder. You really did look cold. He unchained the ankle restraint then stood up, walking over to your side and tucking the blanket over your unfairly scantily clad body.

God... How he wished he was the one keeping you warm.

He then shook his head, glancing towards the wall clock. 5:40 a.m.

He can sneak out and do some business for Khonshu. And by the time he returns, hopefully Steven does, too.

He has to.

♡•••🌙•••♡

You rolled over in bed, expecting to cuddle up next to something much more solid than a pillow. Your brows furrowed, a hand flying out to pat the bed and not finding what--who--it was seeking.

Your eyes snapped open and you bolted upright. You looked around in a frenzy, eyes still bleary with sleep and finding the apartment completely empty.

You then noticed the time on the wall clock. 7:20 a.m.

You were off work today, but you weren't sure if Steven had a shift. But even if he did, it was still too early for the museum to open.

So...

Where the hell was Steven?

He couldn't have ditched you...could he? No, that wasn't possible, this was his flat.

But wait... What if this was his subtle way of telling you to get lost? That he didn't want to see you still here when he comes back from wherever the fuck he went to?

You overstayed your welcome, didn't you? This was what it was about, isn't it? This was all your fault, right?

You were on the verge of hyperventilating when, at the corner of your eye, you spotted a bright yellow sticky note on top of the books on the bedside table. You quickly ripped it off, reading the messy, rushed handwriting.

Don't know when I'll be back. Just relax. Food for you is in the kitchen, amor.

You blinked away tears you didn't realize were forming once, twice, then bursted into laughter.

"Fuck, seriously, what is wrong with me?" You berated yourself, still laughing.

This was Steven. Of course he would never abandon you, and you would never abandon him.

He proved it to you, after all. The memories of last night terrorizing your brain once more, making you blush like a virgin (which you were--for now).

You wanted to prove yourself to him, too. And you're sure you'll think of something, but at the moment you became distracted as your eyes landed on Steven's black sweatshirt sprawled carelessly across the floor.

You put on your glasses then hopped off of the bed and picked up the sweatshirt, tugging it on and letting out a giggle as it drooped over your thighs, turning the sleeves into little hand mittens and your body and heart just feeling so warm.

You ambled over to the kitchen, seeing a plate of slightly burnt toast and scrambled eggs clumsily covered in plastic wrap on the small dining table. You chuckled softly, taking the plastic off before sitting down and having breakfast.

As you chewed, once again your brain couldn't help but wander off.

It was only a little thing. Such a stupid thing, really. But still, it just would not stop nagging you.

Amor. It was French for 'love'.

But... Steven didn't spell it with a U. It was supposed to be amour.

Amor, no U, was the Spanish spelling. And Steven, who seemed fluent in French, should know that.

But people make mistakes, and who were you to judge such a minuscule, silly mistake?

Before you could entertain yourself by ruminating over such nonsense some more, your ears perked up when you heard the lock click and the door opening and shutting close. You kept quiet, watching as Steven slowly trudged in.

He was wearing a flat cap and a trench coat, and from your spot in the kitchen he hasn't noticed you yet. But he looked...different.

You couldn't quite explain it, but he seemed...tense. On edge. An air of agitation surrounding him, stiff in his movements yet carrying a sense of confidence at the same time.

Wild.

You then swallowed, standing up from your chair and silently making your way over to Steven with his back turned to you as he busied himself with stripping off his coat and hanging it on the coat rack.

You wrapped your arms around his waist, feeling him jolt. But before he could react, you spoke up.

"I missed you..." You murmured, embracing him more tightly as you pressed your cheek to his back. "Don't do that again, please. At least wake me up if you're leaving."

Steven didn't say anything, completely rigid and gloved hands balled into tight fists.

Then it clicked.

"You're not Steven...are you?"

His shoulders jerked, and you pulled your face away to look up at him. But you never removed your arms, keeping them in place around his waist.

Then his shoulders drooped, hearing him take a sharp intake of breath before ever so slowly turning his head over his shoulder.

"Caught red-handed." His lips curled up into a smirk, dark eyes gleaming down at you. "You're much more observant than I thought, princesa."

Your breath hitched, mouth agape and eyes blown wide as you gawked at him. You didn't know what to feel. Well, there was definitely excitement, but you weren't sure if it was appropriate for you to feel such a way.

Regardless, you were glad Steven was open and honest with you from the get-go. You knew, at some point, it was inevitable that you'd meet the two other men he's mentioned. So, you weren't too taken aback to be experiencing this right now.

"Judging from your accent and what you called me just now... You must be Jake?" You queried, cocking your head to the side as you stared up at him. Funny, he shared the exact same body as Steven, but he was still...different. The way he held himself, the little quirk to his lips, the look in his eyes--it was all very distinct.

"Don't see why you gotta keep asking me questions, princesa. Seems like ya got it all figured out." Jake scoffed, amusement in his tone.

"Well... You certainly made an...impression when you asked me out." You spoke slowly, carefully, as if not daring to spook some wild animal. You wanted Jake to feel safe, welcomed; because it felt like Jake hasn't at all expected to be here right now, but you wanted to let him know that you didn't mind him. You were happy to be meeting him.

But Jake took it the wrong way. He read your body language as aloof, like you were just trying to be polite. And why wouldn't you be? You were naturally kind, but he knew better.

He was absolutely not supposed to be here. He was never supposed to meet you, never planned to. After all, you preferred Steven.

...Didn't you?

His jaw ticked, his hands untangling your arms around his waist before he spun on his heel to fully face you. You gasped as he did, paling at the sight of blood on his shirt.

"What happened?!" You panicked, your hands immediately touching his body, eyes frantically searching for any injuries. "Did someone hurt you?! Oh my god, who did this to you?!"

"It's not my blood."

You froze, a chill coursing through your veins. Slowly, your head tilted up, meeting his gaze. It was much darker than before, flecks of savagery brewing within. And yet, you also saw...loneliness.

Longing.

"Are you scared, Y/N?"

You held your breath, his voice cracking as he uttered your name for the first time. It was a simple question that had a painfully simple answer.

"I am."

Jake shut his eyes, inhaling deeply and letting it out in a wavering breath.

He fucking knew it.

"Jake..." His eyes snapped open at your voice, so soft, so unexpectedly calm. "Will you...hurt me?"

"I would never." He whispered--promised--holding your gaze sincerely. "I couldn't."

"I'm scared of the...things you can do, Jake." You admitted, noticing his Adam's apple bob as he gulped. His gaze fell to the floor, but you reached up, gently cupping the side of his face. "But...I'm not scared of you."

Jake met your eyes once more, his hardened expression softening as he sighed, nuzzling into your comforting hand. For the first time in a long time, he felt...safe. He was not one of Khonshu's pawns, he was not Steven or Marc's ruthless protector, he was simply...

Jake Lockley.

"I'm sorry..." He murmured, trembling hand reaching out and caressing your cheek; tenderly, fondly, lovingly. "I...was never supposed to meet you. I was fine watching you quietly. But last night, Steven said he wanted us to meet. For me to be a...part of what you have with him."

A deafening silence rang in your ears. Jake watched you with those intense, soulful eyes, brows furrowed and jaw clenched as he waited with bated breath for your reaction. Any reaction.

"Jake..." You have no idea how you even managed to speak, your volatile heartbeat replacing the silence. "Take a shower first, we'll talk after."

♡•••🌙•••♡

Water dripped from Jake's hair, his hands pressed against the wall with his head tilted down as he watched the pristine white tiles of the shower's floor stain red.

This was an all too familiar situation for him. Washing off blood that didn't belong to him, his body getting cleaned though never his damned soul. But it never bothered him before...until now.

He knew there was a chance you'd be awake when he returned, but he figured that he can just pretend to be Steven at least until that idiot takes control of the body again. Jake's done it convincingly enough a few times before back when Steven and Marc were still unaware of his existence, acting as one of them whenever something triggered them and he suddenly had to front.

But when you hugged him, he just...froze. It felt as if he was struck by lightning because this was real--you were real. Your heart-wrenching kindness and beauty were all directed towards him, and he was no longer just a pathetic fly on the wall through Steven's eyes.

But how could he be so fucking dumb? He never should've shown himself, he should've stayed away from the apartment even if it took all day and just let Steven deal with the consequences. And yet...he came back.

Because, the absolute truth is, he wanted to meet you. At his very core, he was a selfish bastard who wanted to be with you, no matter the punishment inflicted on him--he inflicts on himself.

But was he really being selfish?

As drastically different as they were, Steven and Marc managed to control their own separate lives. Steven had his job that he despised, but also the comfort of regularly getting a paycheck that provided for his daily needs. Marc was Khonshu's (main) Avatar and as draining as it was, he could still unwind after a long day with a pack of beer and a Chicago Cubs game playing on TV.

And then, of course, there were Moon Knight and Mr. Knight that ultimately tied them together.

But what about Jake? Was he nothing more than a punching bag for Marc and Steven, only seizing command and handling whatever shitshow they got themselves into that they were too weak to finish?

Jake knew that was his job--his purpose. And honestly, it was okay. He cared about the boys, and keeping them safe meant the same for him as well.

...Until you came along. And for the first fucking time, he actually wanted something. Yearned for someone. Just for himself, and not because of anyone else's expectations or demands of him.

He didn't realize it until you came crashing into Steven's--and his--life like some fucking meteorite, but he was empty. And on the extremely rare occasions that Jake was entitled to the body all for himself, he grew tired of being tired from aimlessly hopping bar to bar. Nearly wiping all his fucking memories out with heavy drinks and the need--the desperation--to forget about the problems he deliberately ignores, hides, even for one single measly night through fucking some random stranger he didn't and won't ever care about.

But you weren't a stranger, that was perfectly clear. Days bled into weeks, and weeks into months; and here you were now, looking all cute--tempting--wearing Steven's sweatshirt, eating breakfast in his home, as his girlfriend.

Steven's girlfriend. Not Jake's girlfriend.

"Jake, you know you can meet Y/N too, right?"

Steven's words from last night echoed in Jake's head, taunting him. And the ridiculous proposition that followed afterwards, of the two of them sharing you.

"You're a part of me, Jake. You deserve her, too."

And maybe, just maybe...Steven's right.

Maybe Jake did deserve you.

But did you deserve him?

"What's got you looking all emo?" Jake's head abruptly whipped around, seeing you with one hand holding the shower curtain open while the other clutched onto a towel covering your body.

Your naked body.

Jake's mouth went dry, completely paralyzed. All he could do was let his eyes scan you from head to toe, undressing you in his mind. He's already seen you last night and he thought he'd be fine just basking you in from Steven's point of view, but oh...he thought dead wrong.

Because now he really wanted to touch you. Feel you. Make you come undone, all because of him. All for him.

"What the hell are you doing here?" His question came out sharper than he intended it to, eyes narrowing as he watched your gaze drop, shifting on your feet uncertainly along with the tantalizing way you bit your lip.

You seemed to be engaging in a silent war with yourself before you shook your head, straightening up as you dared to meet his eyes and slowly dropped the towel to the floor.

"I told Steven this before, but I prefer to get things over with." You smiled a bit sheepishly, stepping into the shower; the warm drizzle of water helped to thaw the ice cold sensation anxiety gripped you with. "I'm a very impatient woman, Mr. Lockley."

"And you think jumping into the shower completely naked with a man you barely know is the answer to your impatience, señorita?" Jake arched a brow, an amused smirk playing on his lips.

"Well, it's not like I can get into the shower with clothes on, right? That's just fucking stupid." You scoffed, playfully rolling your eyes. "Besides... It's because I want to get to know you that I'm here."

"This is a dangerous game you're playing, princesa." Jake murmured, his smirk instantly vanishing; that furrowed brows, clenched jaw sternness once more overtaking his striking features as he regarded you. "I'm not your sweet, sensitive little boyfriend. I'm not Steven." He practically hissed out the name, though there was more sadness to it than venom.

"This isn't a game to me, Jake." You stated firmly, standing your ground as you held your chin high and levelled your gaze with his. "None of this is. I take Steven very seriously--I take our relationship very seriously." You paused, taking a deep, shaky breath. "And I know, maybe I'm moving too fast, and I totally understand your doubts about this--about me. But I'm not a fucking dumbass. I know you're not Steven and I like you, anyway."

Jake was rarely speechless, but even as his mouth parted to say something--anything--nothing came out. He felt something fall down his cheek, and he wasn't too sure if it was water or the strange liquid that suddenly made his vision all blurry.

But he didn't have much time to ponder on it when your hand gently pressed against his cheek, your eyes kind and full of adoration, the same adoration you always bless Steven with and something Jake believed was only a far-off miracle for him.

"Y/N..." He choked out, glossy dark eyes intently set on you. "I'm a monster."

"You're not a monster, Jake." You were quick to counter, taking a step closer, now being chest to chest with Jake. "You're a part of Steven, and anything--anyone--that's a part of him is beautiful. And you sure as hell deserve to live your own life, too. And, well, if you'll have me..." You blushed, looking down. "...I would really, really like to get to know you better, Jake Lockley."

Silence smothered you, wrapping its invisible claws around your neck, and you now fully understood what people meant when they say something takes forever. You thought it would be easier and much less frightening if the ground actually opened up and swallowed you whole, but Jake finally put you out of your misery, his hand turning off the shower and a low chuckle bubbling out of him.

"Well... Damn." He smirked, cocking his head down at you, though his smug demeanour couldn't mask the rosiness that dusted his cheeks. "You really do like me and Steven, huh, querida? Or maybe it's just your boobs up against me that's convincing me."

"Well, if it's helping you to believe me, then I'm not complaining." You giggled, wrapping your arms around his neck, pushing your breasts against him. Both of your breaths stuttered at the close, intimate contact, and you whimpered as his hands landed on your hips, callused fingers squeezing your soft flesh.

"Dios mío..." He growled lowly, his hands slowly, reverently travelling up the curves of your body, leaving a burning wake, before dipping once more and giving your ass a hard smack.

"Ah..!" You gasped, lurching forward, your face bumping against his solid chest. You felt his chest vibrate as a deep laugh rumbled out of him, one hand fisting your hair and pulling your head back.

"I ain't lying when I said I'm not your sweet, sensitive boyfriend." There was mania in his eyes, baring shiny white teeth as he grinned widely at you; like a shark who's smelled blood--your blood--from a mile away, he's set his target and can't be satisfied by anything, anyone else. "Then again, if you could see Steven's thoughts like I can, 'sweet and sensitive' aren't completely accurate for him."

You gulped, but not from fear. You squeezed your thighs together, pupils dilating as you stared up at Jake. "I-I don't mind if you or Steven aren't sweet and sensitive. I wanna be treated nice, but there are plenty of ways 'nice' can be translated to..." You placed a hand on his abs, lips parting as you traced along his taut muscles, looking like some fucking Greek sculpture--a god--with the way his wet body shimmered a divine bronze. "Don't you think so...Papi?"

With no warning, you felt the air get knocked out of you as his lips collided with yours, attacking you; tongues intertwining with a clash of teeth, the moist smack of your lips harmonizing with the vulgar moans Jake drew out of you.

You felt Jake's neediness, the desperation underlying his roughness--as if this was not just the first, but the only time he'd get to kiss you and have you for himself.

As if you'd ever allow for this to be the only time.

Your hands fell to his shoulders, nails breaking his skin and marking him with crescent indents. He groaned as you did, kissing you with even more fervour, fiery passion never ceasing as you both chased after that hellish ecstasy; seizing, bruising, suffocating you.

More, more, more. Giving and taking, taking, taking.

You just could never have enough, clueless as to where you started and Jake ended, Jake's tongue practically down your throat now. You know you needed air, your eyes rolling to the back of your head, but your body refused.

If this was how you died, then you'd die an elated woman.

But Jake suddenly pulled away from you, making you whine loudly. Your hands pawed at his chest, tears springing to your eyes and your ears couldn't even register the pitiful pleas that tumbled out of your mouth for more, more, more.

"You're such a fucking slut, aren't you, mi amor?" Jake snickered, one hand wrapping around your neck, thumb stroking the column of your throat, squeezing just enough to feel as if your head was floating. "Steven always saw you as this pure, innocent angel. But you're not, aren't you? You wanna be corrupted, don't you? You wanna be my pretty little devil, slut?"

"I'll be anything for you, Papi." You replied breathlessly, tears staining your scarlet cheeks. "Just be my everything."

"I'll be whatever--do whatever--for you, mi vida." His voice was low, barely above a whisper, but you heard him loud and clear, his earnesty and sweetness cloying. His other hand caressed your face before he leaned down, his tongue licking away your salty tears, a reprieve from the rapturous flames that engulfed him. "Now... What do you want Papi to do?" He purred, smirking wolfishly down at you. "You want me to fuck you? Spread your little virgin pussy, fill you up with my cock? Wanna see how much you can take, cariño. Take all my cum, don't waste a single fucking drop."

As tempting as his filthy words were, as much as you wanted to, you remembered how Steven refused to have sex with you last night. Of his promise that he'll make love to you another time, when he was better prepared with condoms. And fuck, you wanted him--them--so badly. Steven and Jake. But you respected Steven and his decision, and you did also want for your lovemaking to be special.

"Can I taste your cock, Papi?" You asked, biting your lip as you met Jake's gaze shyly. You felt like a mouse and he was the lion, yet you held the power in whatever was going to happen. "I-I promise I'll take it all... Take all your cum, like a good girl."

Jake knew that you chose not to have sex with him out of respect for Steven, and that only made him love you more. He felt a pang in his heart and a smile tugged up the corners of his lips, eyes locking with yours, full of tenderness and affection.

Right then and there, he knew that you were "the one". For him and Steven.

"Get on your knees like a good fucking girl, then." He breathed, and you didn't hesitate as you instantly dropped to your knees, breasts jiggling slightly as you did. Your eyes widened as his cock stood proudly, mere inches away from your face.

"I...I'm sorry if I'm...bad." Your voice came out as a squeak, mentally slapping yourself before clearing your throat. "I-I've never done this before!"

"You better have not or else I'll hunt down and kill all the fuckers you've ever been with." He barked out a laugh, but his eyes were dark and serious.

Murder was not something Jake Lockley ever joked about, after all.

Strangely enough, you found his possessiveness...sexy. Which only meant that Jake was already corrupting you.

But was that really such a bad thing?

You shook your head, focusing on the cock--erm, task--at hand. Your hand wrapped around his shaft, hearing Jake breathe sharply through his nose as you did. You licked your lips as you watched the pre-cum drip out of the tip, so curious, so transfixed like a moth to a flame.

Your tongue then darted out, experimentally licking the milky fluid. Jake threw his head back with a guttural groan; you've barely even started, and it made you fucking giddy that he reacted like this.

"Jake..." You murmured, giggling softly. You peered up at him through your long lashes, flashing him a dazzling smile. "You're so beautiful, Jake."

"That ain't something you should call a man, mi vida." Jake scoffed, but the crimson tint on his cheeks have spread like wildfire to the tips of his ears and neck. "Especially not when you're the beautiful one."

"Going soft on me now, Jakey?" You teased lightheartedly, slowly beginning to stroke his length.

Jake's breath hitched, brows furrowing as he watched you intently, attentively. "You really are a little devil, Y/N." He chuckled deeply, and you knew that meant trouble. "You think I'm going soft? Looks like you really have a lot you need to know about me."

Like before, his hand fisted your hair, pulling your head back and making you look up at him. "Open up, slut." And you did, opening your mouth and sticking your tongue out. You flinched slightly as his cock hit your tongue, his other hand grabbing his member and moving it around on your tongue, painting it white.

"Now you're gonna be a good cocksucker, got it?" He grinned down devilishly at you, eyes twinkling with sheer, wicked glee. "You're gonna make Papi cum, like the good whore that you are."

You nodded hastily, eagerly. And you just couldn't fucking take it anymore, jostling forward and burying his cock in your wet, hot mouth.

"That's. Fucking. It." Jake hissed, his grip on your hair tightening ever so slightly. Slowly, you began to bob your head, your mouth accommodating his size. You briefly wondered how anyone could ever even compare this to a banana or a popsicle stick; it was much bigger and your jaw started to hurt, which Jake quickly noticed as you tensed.

"Hey, relax." He cooed, reaching down to tenderly wipe away the tears you didn't realize were flowing down your cheeks. "Easy, Y/N. Relax your mouth, loosen up your throat... Fuck, yeah, that's it. Keep going, hermosa."

With newfound confidence and assurance, you gradually increased your pace. You hollowed your cheeks, your tongue sliding along the underside of his cock with each rhythmic bop of your head. Up, down, up, down--Jake's sinful groans bouncing off the walls of the bathroom, never breaking eye contact as you burned all of him into memory.

Then your surprised gasp was muffled as his foot pressed against your clit, only offering you a cocky smirk in return.

He began to move his foot, his toes budging your clit and stroking along your pussy. You moaned around his cock, grinding against his foot for more friction. Then his other hand grabbed onto your hair, both of his hands now pushing and pulling your head up, down, up, down--drool spilling down the sides of your mouth, resisting the urge to gag as the tip of Jake's cock pounded your throat, your hands floundering to his thighs as you clung on for dear life.

"Fuck, look at you... Una putita tan bonita solo para mí." He laughed, the thrusts of his hips growing fiercer, more rabid as he mercilessly fucked your throat. "Wanna taste me, mi vida? Think you've earned it?"

All you could do was nod, nod, nod--looking up at him pleadingly as you continued to desperately grind yourself against his foot, your own orgasm fast approaching.

Jake's jeering laughter soon stuttered into a heavy, gasping moan; his eyes squeezing shut as his head fell back, hitting the wall. You felt his cock twitch, releasing his seed, shooting down your throat and his balls slamming against your chin.

Your own release coated Jake's foot, your entire body shuddering from the intensity of it all and coughing as Jake finally withdrew his cock out of your mouth. But you didn't have time to revel in the afterglow as Jake's hand wrapped around your neck once more, dragging you up and crashing his lips with yours. You swapped spit and cum, but neither of you cared; the two of you groping, squeezing, clinging onto each other any which way your needy hands could fumble.

You didn't keep track anymore of who pulled away first, laughter ringing in your ears as you both grinned at each other; spent, happy.

The dawn of something new, exciting, promising shining between the two of you.

Wordlessly, Jake turned on the shower again. Then he grabbed the soap, his hands gliding along your smooth skin, his lips attaching to the crook of your neck where he could see the faint pinpricks of his handprint slowly materializing.

"Did I hurt you, mi vida?" As rough of a lover as Jake was, none of his pleasure mattered if you didn't enjoy yourself.

"A little bit." You admitted, wrapping your arms around his neck and kissing the top of his head. "But it's okay. I...liked it." You blushed furiously.

"Fuck..." He grumbled, pulling away and looking very much like a kicked puppy, something that you thought only Steven was a pro at. "As cute as you are blushing like that, princesa, I'm so fucking sorry. I know I should know when to stop, when to be gentle...but those are not really what I'm good at." His eyes drifted down, and you can tell that he had a lot more to say. A lot more to regret. "I'm sorry, Y/N."

"I forgive you, Jake. Now please... Stop beating yourself up, okay?" You cupped his face, pecking his nose and meeting his gaze. "I'm not lying when I said I liked it, but don't blame yourself too much. I also should've done something, spoken up if it was too painful for me." Your fingers ran through his hair, smiling softly, lovingly at him. "All of this is new for me--for us. But it's okay, 'cause we can learn together, yeah? And if you'd like, we can come up with a safe word if things get too rough."

Jake hesitated, wondering if you were really telling the truth and not just trying to comfort him. But one look at your sweet, loving smile was more than enough for his worries and doubts to fade away, his own smile gracing his lips and his hands holding your own that were so gently, kindly cupping his face.

"I think that would be great. Any idea what the safe word should be?"

"I was thinking 'Khonshu'." Your answer made Jake snort before he bursted into laughter, you joining shortly after.

"Mi vida, if you say that bastardo's name while we're fucking, you really are gonna make me go soft." He chuckled, pinching your cheek and kissing your forehead.

"Fine, fine! Clearly coming up with a safe word is what I'm not good at. Let's figure it out together." You playfully rolled your eyes, giggling and kissing his cheek. "Anyway, I'll head out first. But don't take too long or else I'll jump in the shower with you again and for the sake of Steven's water expenses, you do not want that happening."

"On one condition, señorita. You have to wear my clothes when you get out, not Steven's." He hummed to which you laughed and nodded, but just as you were about to step out of the shower, Jake suddenly grabbed your wrist and pulled you back to his chest.

He leaned down to your ear, voice a low purr as he spoke; like it was a secret, a sacred oath between only the two of you.

"El amor de mi vida, mi salvavidas... Nunca te dejaré ir."

Your lips curled up into a smile, your heart swelling achingly within your chest. You turned around and leaned up on your tiptoes, your lips melting perfectly together with Jake's, becoming one.

"I love you, Jake Lockley." You whispered, sealing your oath. "Now... Don't keep me waiting. You know I'm an impatient woman."

Jake watched with a dumb, lovestruck grin as you pulled away giggling, finally stepping out of the shower and closing the bathroom door behind you. And as soon as you were gone, Jake piped up to the other occupant in the bathroom.

"Steven, ese... I know you're there, might as well say something, huh?"

'Bloody HELL, mate...' Steven's words stumbled out in a rushed, breathless breath. 'That was MENTAL.'

"You're welcome for the free show, ese." Jake chuckled, standing under the spray of the shower as he washed himself off.

Although Jake couldn't see Steven, he knew that the poor, flustered English man was having a damn heart attack at this very moment.

'That was...that was...' Steven was completely at a loss for words, making Jake smirk.

"The hottest fucking thing you've ever seen? Yeah, I know. Y/N's our sexy girlfriend, after all." Jake turned off the shower, hopping out and drying himself off with a towel. "You're right, by the way. We're both absolutely fucked."

'I'm just glad it all worked out, mate.' Steven replied, relief and happiness flooding his voice. 'You deserve her. WE deserve her. It's just...' He trailed off, sighing deeply. 'Now that I think about it, I'm worried about Marc.'

"Fuck Marc." Jake snapped, his eyes settling on the mirror, Steven's reflection staring back at him with an anxious crease between his brows and lips downturned. "We deserve to live our own lives, too, Steven. That cabrón's just gonna have to deal with it."

And deal with it, Marc will. But...

You'll have to deal with Marc, too.

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gilverrwrites · 4 months

Text

Castiel NSFW Headcanons

Pairing: Castiel / GN!Reader

Rating: M/18+

Please remember: to give yourself time to rest.

Warning: Very brief mention of non/dub-con. Cas is kinda pervy and I love that for him.

Wants to and will deliver the most excellent and diligent aftercare, but you have to be vocal and specific about it. Communication is good, tell him what you need, and he will do it, everytime.

Actually prefers receiving oral over giving. Don’t get it twisted, he thoroughly enjoys the effect it has on you, and will do it over and over for you, but it’s a sensory thing. There’s just so many particles, and molecules on his tongue, it can be overwhelming.

Incidentally like A++ when it comes to dirty talk. He doesn’t really have a filter so he will have no problem telling you what he likes, how he’s feeling. Will check on you aften.

Does that feel good? Do you enjoy when I touch you like this? You look so beautiful when you cum for me. I love the way you feel around me.

However, until/unless you teach him the slang terms and how to use them, he will refer to most body parts by their anatomical names.

Is a top, but is very open to experimentation. Is happy to and enjoys bottoming/being pegged.

A switch, with predominately dom tendances.

Taking charge comes easily to him, and he can be very impatient/intolerant of having his orders disobeyed. Bratty behavior can be fun for him, if you’re into that sort of thing, but prefers service subs who will do as told and do it well. But does not like to be the boss all the time. He likes it when you top him, especially for slow, sensual sex. If you’re more experienced than him and can show him new positions or foreplay.

On the subject of positions, top 3: Face-off, cowgirl, and seashell.

Art by Emily Schiff-Slater

Will ask/scold you to keep your eyes open and look at him frequently. Really enjoys watching your expressions/reactions, particularly your eyes.

Doesn’t like to restrain you with ropes and the likes, but does like using his body and/or his grace to pin you down and have his way with you.

Let him hold you down, get nice and deep inside, then look up at him with glazed eyes and let out a whimper; he may just cum on the spot.

Can and will go for hours if you let him, stamina is not an issue for him.

Especially for cock-warming. On the rare occasion he has downtime, he will happily spend all day with you on his lap, cock inside you just idly chatting, examining and teasing you as you gradually get more wound up and needy for him.

His wings and the space around their base (in between the shoulder blades) are highly sensitive. Just the brush of your finger is enough to get him riled up.

You have to inform him that it’s found upon to discuss your sex life unprompted with other people. Unless that doesn’t bother you.

Dean: Where the hell were you man?!? We’ve been prayin’! Cas: I heard you. I was busy engaging in coitus with [name]. ____ Sam: Cas I’m trying to explain something here, what is so important on your phone? Cas: [name] has sent me a photograph of their [redacted], I am uncertain of the best way to respond.

Does not particularly like sexting, as he finds it hard to concisely convey his thoughts through text. BUT he does get a thrill out of seeing and having your nudes be so easily accessible and for his eyes only.

Seldom masturbates but does watch a lot of porn. It’s for “research” in “understanding humans”. Totally not for inspiration.

If you suggest making your own DIY porn, he will jump on it. There may be some technical teething issues, but he is determined not to let that stop you. Would film it from the nightstand of something, not POV as he still wants to get lost in the moment and not have to worry about filming you from just the right angle.

Secretly a voyeur. Prior to any sexual/romantic relationship he may have ‘accidentally’ popped up and caught a glimpse (or more) of you, or his other human acquaintances getting their rocks of (be they alone, or with other people). During any relationship he likes watching you touch yourself, sometimes he’ll ask you to let loose and do it however you like, sometimes he prefers a more guided approach. So, telling you, where to touch, how much pressure, if and when you can reach your climax.

And of course, frottage/thigh riding. Watching you grind on him, per instruction, until you cum makes him giddy.

Very much enjoys a good cream pie. Typically, he’s not really into (his own) cum, it’s sticky and messy. But he cannot deny the rush of pride he feels when he see’s his own cum seeping out of you.

Is often commando, it just feels more freeing, and allows for easer access. Yes he could just use his angel mojo, but there’s something more fun and a little sordid about doing it himself, or better yet, having undress him.

Same goes for you. He prefers stripping you by hand. It allows him more time to touch you, to feel your soft skin under his, to tease all the points of you that he knows makes you squirm.

#supernatural imagine #supernatural reader insert #supernatural headcanons #spn headcanon #castiel #castiel x reader #castiel smut #gilverrwrites

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mysterious-ocarina · 5 months

Text

No Control

marauder!Sirius Black x fem!reader

(A/N 1, im american so i’ll prolly get alot of british slang wrong, or just call stuff by what americans say) ( A/N 2, this is kinda an au where Sirius doesn't move in with James and is stuck with the Black family. I had a lot of trouble figuring out what family to put the reader in that would fit my plot and I just ended up putting you in the nott family. I guess if you really wanna think about it (pls don't think too hard about it), your brother is the father of theo nott?) (A/N 3, check this out if anyone wants an explanation of why i've been gone from tumblr for so long)

Warnings: definitely angsty but with some sprinkles of fluff, lots of mentions of abuse (nothing graphic is shown, it's just described to have happened a lot in the past), this is an arranged marriage trope but not enemies to lovers trope, lots of misogyny (lately i've been feeling angry at the world and it's views of women so here is me trying to comfort myself. Sirius black is a woman lover fr). let me know if there is anything else i need to tag cuz this is my most serious fic yet

Main Masterlist HP Masterlist Requests AO3

(5.6k words)

Sirius Black. A name that's known by the majority of the Hogwarts population. And a face that is known (maybe a little too personally) by many wizards and witches at Hogwarts. But not to you.

You've only ever heard about the notorious Sirius black and the gang of hooligans called the Marauders. You've never got to meet any of them personally. You occasionally would see some of them around, but never Sirius. As a Slytherin, you often ran into his brother, Regulus, but you've never really talked to him either, only ever exchanging pleasantries.

It was actually kind of surprising that you've never talked to the Blacks before. You both came from pure blood, supremacist families and both you and Sirius were known to be a bit rebellious against your families (or just rebellious in general).

But none of that matters, when your parents force you to come home for the holidays and basically shatter your resolve.

At Hogwarts, away from the prying eyes of your family, you were most like yourself. Rebellious, outgoing, funny, and even kind. But under the roof of your family's expensive manor, you were nothing more than a quiet, obedient little girl, who's value was determined by whichever man was in charge of her. The perfect, pureblood daughter.

Just as your mother was and is, you are basically a slave to your own blood, specifically your brother and father. And as soon as you're married (arranged to a pure blood. no doubt, without your consent) you'll have to be an obedient little wife for your husband.

The perfect, doting, obedient, docile, pureblood wife. It was all a load of rubbish, you thought, but you would keep the facade up in order to keep the abuse at bay. You learned pretty early on that speaking up for yourself and speaking out of turn was not going to be tolerated.

You were silently eating dinner with your family. Your father and brother were quietly speaking about matters that even if you and your mother cared, neither of you would be allowed an opinion on.

“Honey, we’ll be having important guests for tomorrow's dinner. So make sure you look your absolute best,” your mother spoke to you. She gave you a sympathetic smile knowing the “show” you both would have to put on in front of guests.

“Okay. Am I allowed to know who these guests are?” you swallowed down your food. You were filled with nerves, thinking about what kind of important guests you were going to have.

Your mother bent down closer to your ear, “I’m not supposed to be telling you this-” she shot a quick look to your father to make sure he wasn’t listening, “but it’s the Black family. I’m not sure why they are coming. All I know is that it’s important business with one of their sons.”

You put your fork down on your plate, placing your hands down on your lap in front of you. You let your thoughts wander and only grew more worried. What kind of important business did one of the Black brothers have with your family? To help a little with your nerves, your mother placed a comforting hand on yours before going back to her meal.

The rest of your night was uneventful after that, until you went to bed. You stayed awake for longer than you should have, your mind way too loud to allow you to sleep. You ran through a list in your mind about the millions of different “important business” that the Black family could have with yours. But none of it made sense why they would eat dinner with us. Usually important business was settled in your father’s study, as it was improper for the ladies to be present.

Eventually, you were able to fall asleep and then the next day would start. You woke up late, which was extremely unappreciated by your brother, who was expecting his morning coffee like usual. You were promptly punished, not only by being woken up by him screaming at you, but also with a beating.

You spent the rest of the day trying to find an appropriate outfit for the dinner that would cover the red marks and newly forming bruises on your arms. Your mother lessened the pain of the marks a little during the day but there wasn’t much else that you could do.

Sometimes when you both sat and drank tea, you would often dream together about running away from all of this. The blood supremacy, controlling men, and just downright evil families. But those thoughts and dreams were quickly quelled when the sound of the men's voices could be heard, calling for the maids- I mean women.

Both you and your mom knew, these were only dreams. It was impossible for purebloods to leave the life that they were born into.

You and your mother waited in the foyer, waiting for the guests to arrive. Your dress was rubbing against the lashes on your skin, making you scratch your arms in irritation but soon stopped when your mothers hand landed on yours.

“You’ll only make it hurt worse. Plus, you know you can show any discomfort in front of the guests,” she said softly. She was trying her best to sound comforting but it only served to remind you of the show you both are forced to put on and the lives you’re stuck living.

A knock was heard and muscle memory forced wide, fake smiles onto both of your faces. Your mother opened the door and welcomed the Black family, “Good evening Mr. and Mrs. Black. I hope you had safe travels here.”

As soon as they crossed the threshold, you were in front of them offering to take their coats. They handed them to you as Mrs. Black spoke, “Thank you for having us, Mrs. Nott.”

“My daughter will show you to the dining room while I finish up making dinner,” your mother informed before quickly making her way towards the kitchen.

After you finished hanging up Mr. and Mrs. Black’s coats, you finally had the chance to look at the two Black brothers. Being in his house, you immediately recognized Regulus, who gave you a tight smile. You then looked over to who you assumed was Sirius.

He certainly was as attractive as the girls at Hogwarts always seemed to make him seem. But he wouldn’t make eye contact with you. He was looking toward the ground, still keeping his posture ramrod straight. He had the same look and body language as someone who had just been beaten for disobedience. A look you were familiar with.

Before anyone could get angry with you, you spoke up, respectfully, “If you would follow me, please.”

With your head down, you brought the family to the dining room. Your father and brother both stood up to shake hands with the Blacks. You stood behind your seat, waiting for the men to sit down first. Your father and Mr. Black sat down and engaged in conversation. You watched Regulus take the chair next to his father and looked to see where Sirius was. You were surprised to find him right next to you.

You backed up, unsure why he was standing there. Of course, you would give up your seat if he asked you to. But all he did was pull the chair out and motion for you to sit down. You sat down and thanked him as he pushed the chair in, “Thank you, young master Black.”

In the corner of your eye, you saw your father give a nod at your use of the title. Salazar, you sounded like a damned house elf. But that was the proper way you were to address him.

Sirius scrunched his nose at the title but gave you an understanding smile, “You’re welcome.”

He surprised you once more by taking the seat directly next to yours. You kept your mouth shut, knowing it was best to keep your curious thoughts to yourself, but you did shoot him a kind smile.

Dinner started without a hitch, conversation mostly being between Mr. Black and your father, your mother and Mrs. Black conversing a little bit with each other too. You, your brother, and both Black brothers mostly stayed silent and ate the meal.

Throughout the entire dinner, when nobody was looking, you had been rubbing at your irritated arm in discomfort. You don’t know how long Sirius had noticed but he grabbed your hand under the table just as you were going to bring it back up again. He continued to eat his meal with his other hand, looking like he wasn’t holding your hand under the table at the moment.

At your confused glance, he leaned closer to your ear, whispering, “I know what you’re doing. It’s just going to make it hurt more, the more you keep messing with it. Just squeeze my hand instead.”

He went back to eating, glancing around to find that no one noticed him whispering to you. You squeezed his hand a bit hard as you went back to eating too. Instead of wincing or doing anything to show discomfort, all he did was rub his thumb soothingly on yours.

The butterflies Sirius stirred up in you was enough to distract you from your irritating arm for the rest of the dinner.

“Now,” your father started, rubbing his napkin on his mouth and setting it down on the table, (the universal sign for “stop eating and listen to me”). “Mr. Black and I have recently come to an agreement.”

Sirius squeezed your hand in comfort as his father spoke up, “Seeing as Ms. Nott is the same age as my Sirius, we have arranged for the two of you to be married. It will be after the both of you graduate from Hogwarts.”

Those words echoed in your head as you looked up to the two fathers in shock. Your silverware clattered as it fell from your hand onto your plate. You must have been breaking the bones in Sirius’ hand, holding it as tight as you were.

Despite the fact that you knew it was a bad idea, your adrenaline forced you to speak up, “You can’t do that, father. You can’t just force me to marry someone that I just met.”

The tears in your eyes didn’t fall, years of “training” keeping them from falling.

Your brother gave you a harsh glare at your disrespect. Suddenly your father stood up, slamming his hands on the table. Staring straight at you, his commanding voice not loud but still thundering all the same, “I can, and I will. Do not forget your place in this family and this world. You will do as I say until you are married. Then you will be your husband’s to command.”

In a haste, you let go of Sirius’ hand, placing your hands on the table to stand up. Sirius, thinking quickly, kept you from getting up by grabbing your legs under the table. That didn’t stop your mouth from speaking harshly, “I am nobody’s to command or control.”

Before you could say anything more, your father reached across the table and slapped you across the face. You held your cheek in shock. He’s hit you before but never in front of guests. The entire table sat in shocked silence.

You looked down at your lap, willing your tears not to fall. You noticed Sirius’ hands clenched in his lap, he looked like he was shaking in anger, but his face had a practiced neutral expression. Regulus’ eyes were wide as he looked at you but had no other reaction at the scene that just transpired. The both of them knew not to speak up.

Your brother had a satisfied smirk on his face. You could just hear the thoughts in his head right now. Thank Salazar, someone put her in her place, his face screamed.

Your father sat down and looked towards Mr. Black, “I’m sorry for my daughter’s behavior. I hope you can forgive me for her impudence.”

Mr. Black simply waved his hand in dismissal, “It’s alright. I understand how women are.”

Picking up his whiskey glass, your father sighed, “It’s a shame we can’t put off the marriage to fix her. Maybe your son will be able to crack her.”

Mr. Black took a swig of his whiskey too, “We can only hope. If not, I can think of a curse that surely helped to fix up my Sirius.”

Sirius tensed up next to you. Your father had never used the Cruciatus Curse on you, but it was clear what Mr. Black was referring to and your father seemed to quite enjoy the idea. The two men simply laughed as if that curse wasn’t named an Unforgivable Curse. They laughed, as if your pain was nothing more than entertainment to them.

The dinner went back to normal for the two men and your brother, not noticing the tension felt between the rest of the group. This time, you grabbed Sirius’ hand under the table and rubbed it soothingly. He let out a shaky breath and squeezed your hand.

Losing your appetite, you spent the rest of the meal sitting in silence, holding hands with Sirius. Your thoughts ran completely wild. You were going to be married to him, for the rest of your life, and you had only spoken once. You didn’t even speak. He whispered to you and you listened. Thinking more about it, there are worse boys that you could have been forced to marry.

At Hogwarts, Sirius was known for being rebellious and against his family's traits and values. Salazar, the boy was sorted into Gryffindor, the opposite of his entire family. But what if that was just in the public eye. You didn’t know anything about Sirius except for what you’ve heard from others. For all you knew, the moment you and he were alone, he would revert back to his family’s pureblood values and abuse you just as most pureblood husbands did to their wives.

No, you quickly thought, stop it. You tried to think about the entire situation with a rational head. Throughout the entire dinner, he did nothing harsh towards you. He offered comfort when your arm was bothering you. He kept you from standing when you argued with your father (who knows how much worse the situation could have escalated if you actually, physically stood up to him). He did his best to offer you comfort without your families knowing it.

He’s not an abuser, you rationalized with yourself. You felt the way he tensed up at the mention of the Cruciatus Curse. He would not be like your father or your brother.

After dinner, you were sent straight up to your room. Before you were separated, Sirius softly spoke to you, “Don’t worry, darling.”

His smile reassured you by a fraction, as you got ready for bed. Maybe all of it won’t be so bad.

You didn’t see Sirius, or his family, at all the rest of the holidays. The next time you did see him was on the train back to Hogwarts. You were simply looking for an empty carriage to settle in, when you noticed Sirius coming towards you.

He grabbed your suitcase and brought it to what you presumed was the carriage he was going to be in. You simply followed him, shrinking under the glare that some of his fangirls were throwing your way.

Once the door was shut and you were alone, he finally spoke up, “So, how are you?”

You sat in the seat opposite of him. You were unsure how to proceed, so you took the safe option and responded, “I’m fine, master Black.”

He opened his mouth in shock, before quickly wiping the look from his face, he basically pleaded, “Please don’t call me that.”

“But-” you went to protest, but he cut you off.

“At least, don’t call me that when we aren’t near our families,” he dismissed what you were going to say. All you could do was stare at him. It really did seem he wasn’t like his family.

Growing embarrassed under your stare, he shyly spoke back up, “I hope you know that you can act like you normally do when you’re around me.”

You looked away from him, face flushing, “This is how I normally act.”

He leveled you with a look, “We both know that’s not true. I don’t know you well but I’m sure you have a number of choice words to call me.”

Seeing the amused smirk on his face, your facade broke. You slightly smirked right back at him, “I don’t have any words to call you… Our fathers on the other hand…”

Sirius’ smirk turned into an almost awestruck smile. Before he could say anything back at you, a gaggle of boys had burst into the carriage.

“Pads, you’ll never guess who sent me a letter during break,” James Potter excitedly said. He went to sit across from his friend only to just now notice you. You gave him a sweet smile.

“Who’s this?” James asked, sitting next to Sirius and throwing his arm around him.

Peter Pettigrew and Remus Lupin followed James into the carriage, taking their seats. Everyone gave you curious but welcoming looks.

Sirius gave you a look, which you nodded to.

“Put up a silencing charm. I’ve got a story to tell you,” Sirius replied, causing the boys to perk up.

The next hour or so was spent with Sirius explaining your arranged marriage to his group of friends. You were relatively silent, not yet comfortable talking to his friends. He left out the parts where you were abused and berated but didn’t spare the details of his own abuse. It seemed he was comfortable sharing what he goes through to his friends. And evidently you too, since you were there listening too.

This was how you found out that he knew about the betrothal before you did. Apparently, he found out just moments before going to the dinner. He tried to refuse his father (the same way you had, you noticed) and received a beating for his insubordination. That would explain the look he had when you first saw him.

You cringed a little, hearing that he was hit but he gave you a reassuring smile. His friends were also really kind and sympathetic to the entire situation. No wonder he seemed comfortable sharing his familial trauma with them, they were extremely supportive.

“Can they really do that?” James questioned, from next to Sirius.

You sighed and crossed your arms, “Unfortunately, yes. There isn’t anything that we can do to avoid it.”

Remus looked up thoughtfully, “Is it possible for you guys to run away from your families?”

You thought about it, “Hypothetically, we could run away from our families and the blood supremacy world, but it would be extremely difficult.”

Sirius spoke up, “Trust me, I’ve debated it my entire life. If we ran away from our families, no doubt we would be financially cut off from them.”

You added, “Not only would we have to somehow have enough money for a place to live, but we would also need to find a job, to keep the place to live. And trust me, families like ours have a lot of power in the wizard world. One word from them, and no one would want or be able to hire us.”

Peter muttered, “That’s horrible.”

Sirius sighed and slouched in his seat, “You’re telling me.”

“Thinking about it, Sirius, you need to put your womanizing ways away. A married man shouldn’t be parading around with any woman that gives him attention,” you added with a teasing smirk.

“You make me sound like a cheap whore,” Sirius replied with a pout.

“You’re not?” James was quick to rebuttal, causing you to laugh at the offended face Sirius gave the both of you. It didn’t take long for the entire group of you to dissolve into laughs and giggles.

Sirius smiled at you, teasingly, “Well how about you? I’m sure your long line of lovesick fools will end up sobbing at the news.”

You glared playfully at him, “I don’t know any lovesick fools. I actually swore off dating a long time ago so this doesn’t affect my love life at all.”

Remus looked at you in bewilderment, “Went from swearing off dating straight to marriage.”

“Quite the jump,” you simply offered in reply. “At least I’m stuck with Sirius and not some blood supremacist twat like my brother.”

“That is true,” Remus reasoned. “You could have been forced with someone who actually believes the rubbish their parents feed them.”

You felt comforted by Remus' words, confirming that Sirius wasn’t like both of your families.

The rest of the train ride was spent getting to know each other. It wasn’t hard to become friends with Sirius and his buddies. The longer you spent with them, the more comfortable you became with the idea of becoming Sirius’ wife. Don’t get me wrong. You still didn’t want to be forced to marry someone that you didn’t know or love, but you were comfortable knowing that he felt the exact same way.

Who knows? Maybe you could fall in love with Sirius the same way a plethora of other girls had.

The rest of your seventh year at Hogwarts went alright. It didn’t take long for rumors to spread that you and Sirius were to be married but for the most part, the gossip didn’t bother either of you that much. It’s not like the rumors were false, so what was the point in denying anything.

The only downside was the threats that a multitude of Sirius fangirls made in your direction. Nothing too serious has happened to you yet, but you knew soon enough that it would be too much for the wrong girl. Turns out, that time would come soon enough.

You were eating breakfast in the Great Hall, Regulus sitting across from you. Since he was to be your brother-in-law, the both of you became friends. You would also find out that he wasn’t like his parents either. He just wasn’t as outward of this fact as Sirius was. Watching what Sirius has put up with, he knew that he wasn’t brave enough to rebel and deal with the consequences.

Earlier in the week, a parcel came by owl for you. In it was a Black family heirloom, a wedding ring. You were told that you had to wear it from now on, even though you guys were still only engaged and not married. Of course, you didn’t argue, though.

You sat staring at the ring. On one hand, you hate what it symbolized. It was your own sick image of slave shackles that tied you down. On the other hand, “It really is quite pretty. If I didn’t know any better, I would have thought Sirius picked it out just for me.”

Regulus looked up at you as you spoke. He was confused for a moment until he noticed you glancing at the ring on your ring finger. He swallowed his toast and took a sip of his black coffee, “Well… I mean, it is charmed.”

You gave him a confused look, which only made him look back at you even more confused. His eyebrows raised, “You don’t know?”

“Know what?” you questioned. You looked at the ring and tried to think of what kind of charm it could have been.

Regulus smirked back at you, “Well, Mrs. Black-” you glared at him, only making him smile harder at you, “-When the ring was first made for our grandmother's grandmother, or some other old bat, it was put under some kind of spell.

“It was always meant to be an heirloom and it was charmed to always look the way that the husband, the male with Black blood, wanted it to look. Hypothetically, it was supposed to be a symbol of great love because the husband should know what kind of ring their wife would like to wear. But with our family being the kind of family it is, it was mostly only ever worn as a symbol of possession.

“Rarely, did the husbands care enough about their wives to know what kind of ring they would like to wear,” Regulus finished his story. He was giving you an unreadable smile.

You stared back at him, your expression almost as unreadable as his, scoffing at him, “Well most jewelry is going to be pretty.”

“Yeah, but doesn’t that look like the perfect ring for you,” he smoothly replied.

You simply ignored him, finishing your breakfast. You did your best to ignore the fluttering feeling in your chest at the thought that Sirius knew what your perfect ring would look like.

The ring on your finger only served as a reminder to all the girls at Hogwarts that you were to be Sirius’ wife, a fact that was not very well received by the female population. Before you had the ring, the most that would be thrown your way was dirty looks and glares, something you could easily handle. But as more and more people noticed the ring on your finger over the next week, the more serious it became.

You started to receive so much hate mail, that you started to only ever open up letters if they had the official Nott or Black seal. Most of the letters only said foul things to you. Not many people were aware of the arranged part of the marriage, mostly only pureblood Slytherins and Black’s friends knew about that, so a lot of the letters consisted of them berating you and wondering how you got the notorious Sirius Black to fall in love with you (A love potion being the most common guess. Because why would the perfect Sirius Black want to be with a nobody girl like you).

People really are dense these days. How could people possibly jump to any sort of conclusions when no one has ever seen you guys kiss… or even hold hands for that matter. The both of you were friends by now, of course. But that’s it. You guys didn’t just magically fall in love now that you are betrothed.

Well… one of you wasn’t in love. Over the course of getting to know Sirius more for the past few months, feelings did start to stir within you. But you always tried to squash them down as soon as you felt them. Which only made you hurt more.

You were going to get married… without your consent… to a guy that you’ve started to truly care for… despite the fact that he could never care for you the same way. It was all kind of sad, when you really thought about it.

You thought about how you were probably, inadvertently, just a symbol of his slavery to his family and their beliefs. Just as he was inadvertently a symbol of your slavery to your family and their beliefs.

But you were able to look past that. So maybe he would be able to look past it too and see the silver-lining to this whole thing.

Breaking out of your thoughts, you muttered a quicked Incendio at the pile of hate mail in front of you, burning it to ash. Slipping your wand back into your robes, you continued to eat your dinner in relative peace.

If only it could’ve stayed in peace. Two girls, a Ravenclaw and a Hufflepuff that you didn’t even recognize, sat down on both of your sides. Your confusion was apparent, only widening the smirk on the two girls' faces.

Understanding what was going on, you rolled your eyes, “Do you guys need something?”

“What’s your secret?” the Ravenclaw girl inquired.

You simply continued to eat your food, unaffected by their intimidation. Dryly, you responded, “Whatever could you mean?”

The girls looked at you in disgust, before the Hufflepuff spoke up, “We want to know how you got someone as amazing as Sirius Black to fall for you. I can’t think of anything good about you.”

With another roll of your eyes (if you had a galleon for everytime you rolled your eyes because of these kinds of girls, you would be rich) you cooly replied, “Have you tried, having a personality? I’ve heard it does wonders in making people like you.”

Both girls huffed at your attitude before standing up. The Ravenclaw haughtily informed you, “You better watch your back, Nott. Wouldn’t want anyone to damage Sirius’ goods.”

Using her wand, the Hufflepuff spilled sticky juice all over you, leaving you floundering in shock. You sat for a second seething in anger, only growing more furious as the gross liquid seeped more into your clothes.

By now, most of the great hall was already watching what had happened but at the glare you threw at everyone, people were quick to go back to minding their business.

You got up quickly, making your way out of the Great Hall. You heard footsteps behind you and someone calling your name but you were too blind with rage to bother turning around to find out what they wanted. You had had enough of the girls in this school looking down at you for something that wasn’t any of their business.

You were almost to the girls washroom, when Sirius grabbed ahold of your arm. You quickly whipped around, seething, “What the hell do you want, Black?”

He faltered, unsure how to handle what was happening, “I saw what happened. Are you okay?”

You glared harshly at him, “Do I look okay to you?”

Gobsmacked, he hesitantly replied, “Well, what can I do?”

“Oh gee, Black,” you spit at him. “Maybe you could fix your fanclub who seems to think that I’m Satan incarnate herself.”

Your anger in the moment kept you from thinking rationally, you mocked, “Oh perfect Sirius Black. He’s so hot and amazing. How could a slag like you end up with a man like him?”

Sirius stood, shocked at your outburst but kept silent and let you continue to tear at him, “I’ve heard it all, Black. Your little group of fangirls are so deep into their delusions that they can’t even see that we aren’t in love. The only thing that they are capable of seeing is that I’ll be your wife, consensual or not.

“Those girls don’t even realize the pain it brings me that I’m forced to do this. Those girls don’t see the pain my family has put me in, time and time again. Those girls don’t see the pain they cause me with their vitriolic jealousy,” You finished your rant off, poking at his chest with each sentence. Breathing deeply after explaining how this all made you feel, you watched as he processed everything you said.

He seemed unsure of how to continue, until anger and what looked like insecurity started to cover his face. He moved your hand away (very lightly, you noticed) and started to step towards you as he raised his voice back at you, “Well what do you expect me to do about literally anything about this situation. I’m sorry that having to marry me is the worst thing that ever happened to you.”

“Sirius,” you sighed, regretfully.

But he was quick to continue before you could, “No, you got to tear me out, so now it’s my turn. Trust me, this hurts me too. I know how horrible our families and their rubbish traditions are. You are just as familiar with the abuse as I am, meaning that you know just as well as I do, that there isn’t anything that either of us can do against this.”

He took a step back and a deep, calming breath. He looked at you with an expression that was unreadable, “I wish there was something, anything, that I could do to help us feel less trapped but there’s nothing to do.”

You took a step closer to him, “Nothing about you, is the worst thing to ever happen to me. Really, if anything, you’re the best thing to happen to me. It’s because of you, that I feel less alone.”

At your admission, Sirius let out a breath of relief, as if you just lifted the world off of his shoulders. Was he really that worried about being a burden to you? You spoke up again, “I’m sorry for yelling at you. None of this is your fault and I shouldn’t have let my anger out on you.”

Sirius sighed, muttering the scourgify charm. The sticky juice was instantly cleaned off you and you already felt a little bit better.

Sirius grabbed your hand, holding it in both of his, “It’s alright. I understand what you’re going through. But we can get through this together.”

“You’re right,” you responded with a soft cry. You fell into his chest and softly cried out your frustrations. Sirius stood there, soothing you as best as he could, unwilling to let you out of his embrace.

“How about tonight, you meet me in the astronomy tower? We can do whatever, it doesn’t matter what. We can just hang out and forget about our families for once,” Sirius offered. He still had his arms around you in comfort.

Once your sniffles subsided, you hugged him just a little bit tighter, “That sounds amazing, Sirius.”

(A/N, I was thinking of doing a part 2 if you guys are interested. I was thinking it would be after the marriage but you guys still dance around the feelings you have for eachother. maybe you guys find a way to run away together too. i dont really know, yall let me know what you think)

#sirius black #marauders #marauders era #sirius black x you #sirius black one shot #sirius black fluff #sirius black fanfiction #sirius black x reader #female reader #fluff #fanfiction #arranged marriage #angst

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vintagemulti · 1 year

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a psa for those writing for johnny “soap” mctavish

as much as a love the works you’re all writing, a lot of people really don’t know how to write a scottish character (and that’s ok !!!! we get like no rep so) so as a scottish writer, i figured i should help you guys out a little bit.

dialogue

johnny has a VERYYY strong accent as i’m sure anyone can work out

however this doesn’t mean he’s suddenly speaking a different language

yes, a lot of slang is used and for a basic definition of scottish slang and how they should be used; use this ! if you have no idea of slang i’d recommend reading through every word

although we like to use slang, i can promise you that if we’re with someone that wouldn’t understand a word of it / someone who’s first language isn’t english, we wouldn’t speak fully scot (for example if johnny was speaking to alejandro or rudy)

there’s absolutely nothing to suggest he can speak gaelic. yeah i know this is an obvious one but i have seen a few people slip gaelic into his dialogue and that’s super duper inaccurate

barely anyone in scotland speaks gaelic (unless you’re up very high north or maybe in the isles). it’s actually almost an extinct language because the english pretty much wiped it out when we got colonised.

something i love to see is when he mumbles little scottish things under his breath. accurate af.

we say shite more than shit. and never ever will a scottish person say ass. it’s arse all the way.

we don’t call people (especially if you’re sleeping with someone !!!!) lass. or lassie. we call kids that.

pet names are normally along the lines of love, hen (my personal fave), sweetheart, little lady, bonnie (sometimes)

also, shagging is sex. shag, shagged, shagger. yeah.

mum not mom. maw, more commonly.

all that being said he does use a loottttt of slang so honestly go ham i love seeing scots language get used because it’s not been used in fanfic like ever before

culture

seen a few people write soap going mad for st andrews day

yeah no we don’t to that lol i barely every remember that it’s actually st andrews day

also, we aren’t all completely versed on celtic mythology. i could barely tell you the first thing about it.

in scotland we’re all kind of touchy, like we’ll greet people with a hug and stand weirdly close to each other so if that’s something you’re writing about it’s important to note that our personal space is really small

not sure where people get this idea from but scotland isn’t all sheep and highlands and fairies and like little huts

yes we have that but we’re a really modern nation and wayyy to many people have a weird perception of scotland

my man is literally from like glasgow (his accent sounds glasgow but don’t quote me on that) he’s not a farmer or anything

we swear. a lot.

KILTS. not skirts, very common to wear in scotland to events like weddings, christenings, anything formal really.

cunt isn’t a horrible word i literally everyone a cunt, sometimes it’s used affectionately

misc.

if you’re gonna write about scottish politics i beg you research it. johnnys probably pro independence and an SNP voter. google it for context

we’re really loud. and we talk really fast. yes, other characters are gonna be confused af

irn bru !!!!!!!!! it’s a scottish drink and ive seen one person mention it and i just about cried i loved it

in scotland you can vote at 16 and join the army at 16 if that’s relevant to you

if you’re going to write about something you don’t know anything about, either do research or ask someone scottish (im more than happy to help!!)

please don’t take these as complaints or anything !! it’s just very very off putting to see people make massive misconceptions and conclusions about scotland! i love that we’re finally getting some hype. anyways ask about anything!! <3

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cinnamon-bunni · 5 days

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💙💛🧡123 Headcanons🧡💛💙

bc I love them so much........they are everything to me your honor dhushadhhsjajdhsjai am so normal about these three

These three have the best dynamic to ever your honor

we have the Tired Mom, the (not) Cool Older Brother, and the Loser Older Brother (that you forget is technically an older brother). what else would you ever want?

like??? Lucifer needs to put the two on a leash whenever they go out shopping. i mean he has to do that for all of his brothers but its upsetting that he needs to do it for these two as they should be the most well-behaved

but Levi is on the verge of summoning lotan because he didnt get a limited time figurine of a sanrio x ruri-chan crossover and mammon is currently trying to start up what appeared to be a pyramid scheme, so no these two were not to be trusted alone

But most days are good days though! Mammon behaves sometimes because Lucifer says if he's good then he can get a special treat; and Levi behaves majority of the time outside, but that's often because Lucifer handed him a tablet before leaving the car and he's been on it and not paying attention for the whole trip, just trailing behind Lucifer

In a similar vein, I think while Lucifer is trying to catch Levi up on the details of an important student council meeting he missed, the second he sees Levi's eyes start to wander he's quick to pull out with a subway surfers video or smth to keep his attention to the matter at hand (he also keeps a small bag with grimm in it to jingle in front of Mammon; it has the same affect)

Lucifer often looks at his brothers and is like "i expect more out of you two," and Mammon is like "¯\_(ツ)_/¯" and Levi responds by insulting Lucifer with so many internet slang words that Lucifer only knows half of at most but he knows he should be offended

You know how most people know a trend/meme is dead when the older generations get their hands on it? yeah that's Lucifer. Mammon cringes so hard whenever any internet term leaves his older brother's mouth. Levi cried once when Lucifer used the word "poggers"

(Lucifer, of course, is very much aware of this, and uses this to his advantage. He does his best to pay attention to the types of terms Levi uses, but they change like everyday and Lucifer is still always somehow a few years behind

Speaking of embarrassing older brothers: Mammon is such a col older brother and brags and boasts about this fact all the time and Levi is soooooo embarrassed by him its unreal. Like how the hell is this scumbag, who isn't even a tenth as cool as Lucifer is, his older brother. how did this happen

Obviously the label of "older brother" is used less the younger they get--Lucifer is The big brother; Mammon is an older brother but often isn't viewed as one (despite desperately wanting to be seen as one bc he loves his brothers soooo much he wants to protect them so badly I could go on for forever about it tbh); and Levi is more of "oh right i'm older" sort of older brother. he's like a babysitter than anything else

These three definitely get together in Lucifer's study to get drunk and talk tho you know they do. They all have to deal with so much shit from the younger four (most don't respect them as older brothers, don't listen to them, don't heed warnings about cursed objects (that necklace is cursed Asmo don't put it on stop putting it on-)), and so the three just get together and complain <33

They also coo a lot abt their younger brothers! Either when they get together and drink, or in their group chat. i mean, this is a bit canon already as the three talk about their brothers in their groupchat, but thinking about how they talk abt their brothers behind their backs (in a positive way) is sooo cute <3

also thinking abt how the three work very well together when needed! need to work on a larger chore together (grocery run, errands that need to get done either for their own reasons, for Diavolo, or for RAD)? usually lucifer and levi get the most work done when paired together! lucifer is often good at making sure levi stays on task, and is able to deal with his possible whining without making it worse

if mammon and levi usually leave with an 80% of either getting off track, or not getting anything done to begin with. on a good day they'll take an hour longer than needed

lucifer and mammon can get a lot of work done as well together! lucifer just has to keep a tight leash on mammon <3 but mammon, despite how much he gets on lucifer's nerves, steps up a lot when it's just him and lucifer

like, lucifer can trust mammon with just about anything...like yeah, hes annoying to all hell and back, but he's loyal and trustworthy. he's his brother, who lucifer can trust to keep him in check and go along with his plans when things go awry. they trust each other so much even when everything has gone to shit <33

and you know that even tho levi is big brother himself, lucifer and mammon still tease him bc he's still a little brother in their eyes <3 and the both are always just so incredibly proud of him when he learns and grows and gets out of his shell after they all fell

lucifer cares so much for all of them, and hes so proud of mammon and levi of what they've become. theyre responsible and caring and so full of love for the rest of their brothers and the people in their lives?? like. even after everything he's put them through, the pain he cause, the two still held up their heads and helped their younger brothers when they needed it. lucifer couldnt ask for better brothers

and levi and mammon?? following lucifer to the ends of the earth. hes done so much for this family and yeah, hes such a pain in the ass sometimes that it gets on their nerves, but they know how much he cares. how his heart bleeds for his family. he would do just about everything for this family, and mammon and levi would be right behind him with it

the three clash and get on each others' nerves often but like. those three? their bond is stronger than anything in the Three Realms. they all have each other's backs and would all just do everything in their power to protect their family and have them all safe <3 and really thats all the three of them could ask for

#idk where i was even going with this. i worked on this for literal months who knows what i put in this thing lmao #obey me #omswd #obey me shall we date #obey me swd #obey me nb #obey me nightbringer #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me levi #obey me leviathan #lucifer #obey me headcanons #does anyone understand my babbles and rants? i hope so lmao #these three........they are everything to me your honor

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gooppoo · 1 year

Note

hello! can i please request a jake x reader oneshot where they’re not together yet, so he uses english petnames (love, darling, etc) with her to express his feelings in some way and she’s always confused by it, not knowing what they mean. i hope this made sense and ty. <3

my baby, my baby

Requests Open!

warnings: none, a tad of angst

A/N: my first request yipee!!

Jake knew your English was rocky. Particularly slang.

So while he learned Na'vi, you learned English in exchange. Unfortunately for you, Jake was picky with what he taught you. So if you were to teach him the name of a certain plant you crossed that piqued his interest, he'd reciprocate with the English term (if there were one), but Jake would always have something extra to say.

"Yeah, an elephant ear - that's what it looks like at least."

"Eleephant ear." You tried, frustrated your tongue and lips couldn't annunciate with ease like Jake.

"Elephant ear, that's right baby."

You smacked his arm and scowled at him, "What is this 'baby' stuff you keep saying?! Tell me what you mean."

His ears would tug back, "Just keep going, quit asking questions you don't want to know the answer to." Though his body was guilty, his voice was stern.

You tsked him and purposefully scurried deeper into the forest, fast enough so he was barely on your tail. The chase was thrilling for you; swirling around trees and crouching through tall patches of growth, even splashing through creeks.

"Y/n-?"

Jake panted, hands on his knees and searching his surroundings tiredly. From your spot, perched in a tree, you held your hand over your giggling lips, but your laughter still tickled his extraordinary ears. His head snapped up to where you nearly camouflaged with the tree and his pupils bounced with primal excitement.

"Hey!" He protested, urging you to come down.

"If you say so, Jake." Giddily, you scampered silently down the tree and off to blend in with your surroundings.

You were careful to be quiet, sometimes double backing to cover your tracks, and teasing Jake with your mewls. But something was off. Soon, only your footsteps were heard, your panting and laughter. Cautiously, your vision wrapped around the thick trunk of a tree to spy on your environment in search for Jake, but the athletic Na'vi was missing.

"Hey darling."

You yelped and spun against the tree, digging your nails in terror into its thick bark. Like a powerful hammer, your heart pounded against your ribs. Once you registered Jake's annoyingly smug grin, you smacked his chest and jutted out your bottom lip.

"Don't frighten me! And tell me what is 'darling'!"

Jake rolled his eyes, "It's irrelevant,"

"And what does that mean?"

He kissed his teeth impatiently, "Like - not important, you don't need to worry."

You groaned, "You always say I don't need to worry, like you are holding a secret. What are you hiding?"

Jake chewed his lip at your confrontation, scheming a way to deflect the topic and take your mind elsewhere. He noticed by the dip of your brows you grew irritated, so he acted impulsively.

With agility, he leapt from the ground and grasped the sturdy branch above him, strongly pulling himself up.

"Keep up sugar and I'll tell ya." He taunted, reaching for his next climbing point.

Accepting the challenge, you remarked, "You are mean!"

With each passing branch, you fell just enough behind you could grab for him, but each time his skin barely scraped by your nails. The frustration made you groan and climb more persistently, only to be just out of reach again.

"Jake!" You whined, "Please, this isn't fair."

His laughter fondled the leaves and vines surrounding you, his smile out of view, "I know it is love, doesn't feel good, does it?"

You'd officially run thin on patience, motivation too. All your brewing resentment bubbled over into a defeated grown. Tiredly, you let your legs dangle over each side of a legendary branch, your back to the main column of the tree.

It was Jake's turn to recognize the lack of your grasping hands at his tail. He called your name, but you kept your lips in a fine line.

You heard his faint scoff, "Are you giving up that easy babe?"

"Yes!" You shouted back at him, childishly crossing your arms and pouting.

Lucky for Jake, your rebuttal was enough to locate and rejoin you, swinging nimbly to your branch and mocking your sitting stature - one leg on either side of the bark.

Jake's presence was normally joyful for you, but right now you wanted to scream until he retreated so you could sulk. Even holding his like of sight made your jaw tense.

"Y/n, honey," his abnormal hand reached for your thigh, "Is this really upsetting you?"

Your eyes snapped in his direction, narrowing lethally.

He nodded in understanding, biting back his amusement and inching closer, even his expansive palm venturing further up your muscle, "Look, it's..." he sighed.

Two options were in a ferocious battle of tug of war in his mind. Exposing the true reason for his pet names would unfold many more conversations he wasn't prepared to have. Yet, he had teased you long enough with this concept, and if he carried on any longer it could really take a toll on your dynamic. He decided on:

"I know I should've just told you, it was dumb to keep beating around the bush. It's just my way of teasing you, I say those things instead of saying your name."

Cleverly, you noticed his vagueness, "And why not say my name?"

Jake ran through his dilemma once more. Before he could make a final decision, words began spilling from his lips.

"They're supposed to be endearing - caring. You use them when you're talking to someone you care about...more than in a friendly way."

As the realization dawned on him, his heart rate grew rapidly. Even his breathing was uneven and shallow. Some ease was blanketed on his tension when your brows lowered their defenses.

"Jake..." you began, "you care about me?"

His eyes darted from his lap to your expression, scared to register your emotion, but once he got over his uneasiness and saw your smile, he became adorably bashful.

"Oh don't be an asshole!" He scoffed, squeezing your leg.

Laughter erupted from you and left you reaching for him to soothe his difficult feelings.

"I care for you too...baby."

Through the stoicism, a grin curled the corner of his lips upward.

#avatar #avatar x reader #jake sully #jake sully x reader #jake sully x y/n #jake sully x you

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the-falconer · 13 days

Text

So because language learning is an eternal struggle, here's some of my progress from this month and the things I've learned during the past 8 months

1. 70% listening, 30% vocab/grammar/writing

Studying a language is 70% listening practice and the other 30% is memorization. I picked up my Japanese studies this year after having watched anime for years, and I noticed that it's so much easier to make progress. I've internalized around 500-1 000 words and some basic grammar, so getting through N5/N4 was a breeze - in 2 weeks I achieved the same level that took me 3 months in Chinese. I can watch anime without subtitles and easily understand what they're saying (when did this happen? No idea!) because I understand the expressions and slang, all which would not be possible if I hadn't spent so much time with media.

I often have a hard time focusing on watching shows etc. because of how much of a critic I am, but it's the most important thing. Immerse yourself.

2. Reset your learning schedule if it gets too overwhelming

This is something I only learned this week, as I'd been stubbornly holding onto those 900+ word reviews waiting for me back in Ninchanese.

I've been at a standstill for the past 2-3 months after studying the radicals because of some personal responsibilities, and I never got around to learning any new vocab, I was just too busy trying to keep up with what I had learned previously.

But now I've reset my schedule, and I FINALLY feel like I'm making progress again. Sure, my memory might be hazy for the latter parts of HSK 4, but you know what to do about that? You immerse yourself with listening practice so that they will stick with you when you hear them be used IRL :)

#language #language stuff #language learning #chinese language #chinese langblr #japanese #langblr #study tips

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caramel1mochi · 1 month

Text

One Hazy Winter [Iso x F! Reader] [5]

[ Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 ]

Genre: Angst, fluff ‎

TW: Heavy depression ‎ ‎

Words: 4k ‎

Synopsis: One winter before his disappearance, you told your boyfriend Yu about a question you’ve had for so long; one even he could hardly respond to. It took many more hopeless winters for you to finally have your answer.‎

Note: Please don't copy or steal my work and pass it off as your own! If you'd like to use one of my headcanons or something, I'd love it if you tagged or asked. SIDENOTE did anyone see how Clove speaks? Who would've thought vehemently studying Irish slang 8 months ago would come back to help me like this??? Writing them is gonna be such a breeze fr hint wink wink nudge nudge nudge

‎

。+❤ฺ·。❤ฺ·。+❤ฺ· +❤·。❤ฺ·。+❤ฺ·

Winter, present day

‎ ‎

You wanted to call yourself stupid for not catching on. How wasn’t it obvious?

There was a gun in his bedroom and a medallion with a symbol that you've never seen before, even after relentlessly googling around. Purple eyes, mysterious disappearances, owning a house with undisclosed memories that he was just willing to abandon for your apartment, and… other than his grandma? Yeah, no family.

You sighed and pushed open the wooden doors to the café, allowing the bell above to announce your arrival on this boring and slow Monday. Yesterday was spent entirely at Yu’s house. Not only to tend to the trees you planted a winter ago, but to also keep searching for that gun. And, alas, there was nothing. Maybe he took it before he disappeared. Maybe he…

Ugh.

‎ ‎

You stepped behind the counter and pocketed your headphones. Only now did you hear Ying’s muffled voice way behind you inside her room, drowned out by the music. You were sure that she was speaking to someone on the phone, considering your co-worker called out at the last minute. Who, however, would remain a mystery. Not that you cared.

Then, the door swung open, and you heard the clicks of her shoes as she walked down the corridor, phone in hand.

‎ ‎

“I made sure to check it before I left.” She explained. “Around March, last I heard. That’s the only day– Y/N!”

‎ ‎

Ying’s previously quiet voice shot up a few decibels upon noticing you. But before you even realised it, your mind had prepared itself for the sudden incoming hug it really didn’t want.

‎ ‎

“Oh my God, I was so worried!”

‎ ‎

Her arms found their place tightly wrapped around you, completely ignoring the seemingly important call, as she had tossed her phone on the counter behind her in favour of this embrace. You placed one hand on her back in a weak attempt to reciprocate it. However, all you could notice was how cold her silky black ponytail was as it fell on her back. ‎ ‎

“I missed one day, Ying.”

‎ ‎

“I thought something happened to you!” She pulled away, her hands still on your shoulders. “You should’ve told me– where were you?”

‎ ‎

“At Yu’s.”

‎ ‎

Her posture immediately relaxed with that answer, and a wide grin painted her features.

‎ ‎

“Ah, is that so? And how are the lemons? I trust they’re in excellent condition.”

‎ ‎

You would’ve groaned at how she referred to a bunch of seeds underground as if they were babies being taken care of. But after that tangent, maybe that comparison was… Well, apt wasn’t the word, but, you know. Something like that.

‎ ‎

“Still acclimating. They require less maintenance in the winter, but…”

‎ ‎

Your words were lodged in your throat, and you were rendered unable to tell her exactly what you were thinking. But Ying somehow didn’t notice. Instead, she began taking a few steps back to close the call she’d abandoned, another idea popping up in her mind.

‎ ‎

“How large was his backyard again? Why don’t you plant more seeds there? Something that can withstand this weather?”

‎ ‎

“When’s the last time you’ve been to his house, Ying?”

‎ ‎

She placed one hand on her hip.

‎ ‎

“I visited Iso’s house a few times before, Y/N. I even recall mentioning the absurd size of his backyard. Ah, I think I used the word ridiculous, too… That might’ve offended him.”

‎ ‎

Ying explained thoughtfully with a finger on her chin. And from her dreamy tone, it was easy for you to infer that she was just about to go off on another tangent should you let her keep talking.

She promptly moved towards the register with this memory in mind. But before she could say anything, you interrupted her.

‎ ‎

“Who’s Iso?”

‎ ‎

…

‎ ‎

“Iso?”

‎ ‎

Ying stayed silent for a moment.

Then, she tittered,

‎ ‎

“I– I must’ve misspoken; I meant to say Yu.”

‎ ‎

You crossed your arms.

‎ ‎

“Who’s Iso, Ying?”

‎ ‎

“Ah, it– it’s just a character from a book I’m currently reading. It’s not anything important.” Ying fanned herself with her hand as she spoke, presumably from a bout of anxiety. “Anywho, as I was saying– would you like me to come along with you? We’ll find new spots for you to plant in!”

‎ ‎

…

You ran your fingers through your hair, leaning on the counter behind you.

Ying only had two Meyer lemons that day, and you managed to scoop out a combined amount of nine seeds. A lot, but compared to a normal lemon that had at least ten–fifteen seeds in one fruit, it was nothing. And what worried you was the prospect of you failing or only managing to get a few trees out of those.

It couldn’t hurt to have a few… backup fruits, right? If the lemons failed, you’d maybe have… something else. Besides, the cashier from that one shop seemed fond of you when you bought the garden ready passion fruit. You could purchase another orange and strike up a conversation with her. Besides, you needed to work on mentally desensitising yourself to being in his house.

‎ ‎

“I'll take care of it myself, I could use some alone time.”

‎ ‎

Even though every second of your life was composed of ‘alone time’ to the point that it was concerning. But Ying didn’t really want to mention that. Not when your mood seemed to be substantially improving with it.

She flashed you her familiar grin in response.

‎ ‎

“Well, if you’d like any help, I’m one–”

‎ ‎

“One text away, got it. Weren’t you talking to someone?”

‎ ‎

You gestured at the phone she set on the counter a while ago, referencing the call she’d abandoned in favour of this conversation. And you swore you could see buffering in her eyes before she caught on.

‎ ‎

“Oh! Right, thank you, I’d almost forgotten about her.”

‎ ‎

She quickly grabbed the phone and waved goodbye before disappearing into her office for the day. And by then, you had already known that customers made their way inside. You didn’t even need to look back to know. Not when that repetitive jingle gave it away, and the sounds of them snickering and gossiping to each other.

You sighed and ran your fingers through your hair, preparing to serve the group.

‎ ‎

❤ฺ·。

‎ ‎

You were still thinking about that gun even after it’d been a whole year since you visited his house. However, when you passed by his bedroom, the thoughts took over your mind like a virus. The urge to peer through his drawers once more grew unbearable, even after you’d done it a few dozen times. And each time, it wouldn’t change; there was simply no gun anymore. This weapon only raised more questions in your mind. None of them were new, except for one:

Was Yu dead?

Was that the reason for his disappearance? Maybe the hourglass medallion was related to it. Maybe they were a… an organisation? A group, something like that. Maybe he’d gotten into a fight with these people, or maybe they sent someone out to kill him. But why?

You thought of at least a hundred possibilities as to how he would’ve died, but none of it made sense because of one thing, how did someone like Yu get involved with people like this? The only reason you entertained it was because of his eyes, his nonexistent parents, and the bloody house you were in. There’s no way a barista with the same salary as you would be able to buy all of this.

But you never doubted him; you trusted him. You trusted his decision to keep it all vague. You trusted that, one day, he would tell you.

Maybe that was a mistake.

‎ ‎

Oh, screw it, you thought as you pushed the doors to his backyard open. Ignoring the familiar cold sensation that wrapped itself around your exposed face and neck was an easy task, especially when you were finally taking in the sight before you.

Six trees. But you already saw that before. What grabbed your attention were the white flowers scattered around the deep green leaves, like fairies that had sprinkled dust during the night. Once you’d reached it, you meticulously cupped one flower in your gloved hands and observed the shape, but all of it was healthy. All it needed was one more year to finally bear fruit.

The pearly white tint of the flower beautifully stood out against your black gloves; its thin petals curving in a manner so purposeful, you swore it was sculpted by the gods. They also needed pruning, you mused before going back to grab a tool you left behind. But you’d get to it after you watered them.

Incidentally, it was February; Winter was finally coming to an end. And this meant that the snow that coated the ground was starting to melt off, patches of dull grass sneaking through any opening they could in an effort to get some air. This made the shovel you were about to use somewhat redundant when it came to shovelling the snow.

Nevertheless, once you’d picked an empty spot in his spacious backyard, you slid the blade of your shovel under the thin mound of melting snow. Then, once you scooped up most of it, you tossed it aside and cleared the area.

‎ ‎

‘Why do you plant things in the winter? Why not summer?’

‎ ‎

Yu suddenly questioned from behind as he rested on the staircase after he’d done shovelling all of the snow. Since he’d volunteered and successfully done most of the gruelling work for you, you had enough space to finally plant the germinated lemon seeds once you were done spacing them out.

And to him, his inquiry made sense. Winter was the season of death, and even his optimism wouldn’t stop him from admitting that. So why would you pursue a hobby that sprouted life at that time?

You continued shovelling the snow out of the way as you remembered what you told him that dreadful day. And this time, you didn’t block your brain from pulling these annoying conversations from the depths of your mind – not when you wanted to remember the answer.

‎ ‎

‘Planting things in the winter helps them bear fruit faster. Moreover, the seeds I'm planting are winter fruit.’

‎ ‎

Despite sitting behind you, you could easily tell that Yu immediately perked up at the foreign term.

‎ ‎

‘Winter fruit?’

‎ ‎

‘Yes. It's exactly what it sounds like.’

‎ ‎

Whenever he learned something new from you, he would just have the cutest look on his face. If only you could see it now, you mulled. But that privilege was revoked years ago, and you weren’t in the mood to mourn right now. Not after all of your impressive progress so far.

‎ ‎

‘Lemons are a winter fruit?’

‎ ‎

You nodded.

‎ ‎

‘...What about oranges?’

‎ ‎

He noted the abundance of oranges you had at the time, and your silent plans to have them planted, if only it didn’t take years for the blasted trees to bear fruit. This question, however, made you pause at the time.

‎ ‎

‘They... are.’

‎ ‎

‘I see. And why oranges specifically?’

‎ ‎

Seemingly oblivious to the pause in your answer, Yu continued pressing on, unaware of the consequences of asking such a question.

Once the snow was out of the way and you’d cleared the grass, you moved back towards the doors and grabbed the nearby rake, ready to make space for your orange trees.

‎ ‎

‘They were my dad's favourite.’

‎ ‎

The answer came solemnly; the shift in topic immediately souring both his and your mood. And Yu quickly caught on to his mistake since he immediately rushed to apologise,

‎ ‎

‘Oh, I'm- I'm sorry. I didn't mean to…’

‎ ‎

You pushed a plentiful amount of dirt out of the way with only a few repetitive movements. And though they were few, you still felt the sweat form. The thick jacket you wore started to weigh heavily on you. That, and just about everything else, but were you really going to work in a tank top out here?

‎ ‎

‘No, it's okay.’

‎ ‎

Yu watched you stand up once you were done, dusting off your hands. Yet he noted how weak your movements were. How much hesitance was involved in just getting the dirt off of your fingers, or even holding yourself up.

How easily upset you were at the mention of your deceased parents.

At the time.

‎ ‎

‘Can we leave? I'll... I'll check on the trees afterwards.’

‎ ‎

He immediately stood up and took off his glove to pull you closer to him.

‎ ‎

‘Of course. You deserve a break, after all. Where would you like to go?’

‎ ‎

‘Do you remember the bridge I told you about? I heard it looks better in the spring; but we should go tomorrow.’

‎ ‎

Yu beamed at this, his fingers interlocking with yours, and his thumb had already begun outlining the lines on your palm. It sounded like an innocent suggestion.

‎ ‎

‘Tomorrow? Okay, but you'll have to send me the location in advance.’

‎ ‎

You remembered both of you leaving for the bridge that day and what came afterwards. You remembered the dread that followed you throughout the entire trip. Not to mention the gloom, all because you remembered your father. And it’s not like any of it was to be missed. You didn’t miss having your whole day ruined at the mention of one person.

You stood back and stared at the hole you’d dug with the shovel, measuring its width compared to the tree you were about to put in its place.

Perfect, you thought. It was all perfect.

‎ ‎

❤ฺ·。

‎ ‎

Summer passed by like a breeze, and Ying was beyond delighted at the harvest you brought back and immediately got to work with the others to turn them into delicious treats to sell. Luckily for you (or her), they sold like hotcakes, and today, once winter finally arrived, the moment you walked through the doors and heard the jingle from above, you already saw the results of your hard work.

Ying stood deep within the dining area in front of the wall that used to be empty for so long; now, however, it carried the large, expensive painting she had yearned for the past few years. And just like she predicted, it looked absolutely stunning. The colours perfectly complemented the warm colour palette of the general area, and the ladies and their surroundings bounced off of the previously dull flora she’d decorated the area with. That, and, you know, it was just a pretty painting to look at.

You approached and pocketed your headphones, but Ying needn’t look back to know you were there. The crunch of the ice under your boots was loud enough. All thanks to the strong snowfall outside.

‎ ‎

“Isn’t this amazing? It feels like I renovated the whole area, Y/N!”

‎ ‎

She said excitedly as she clasped her hands together, meeting your gaze. Did you even want to ask how long she spent staring at the painting? Not that it was a bad thing.

‎ ‎

“I admit. It does look impressive.”

‎ ‎

“And I couldn’t have done it without you! Speaking of which, you look happy today. Did something happen?”

‎ ‎

Ying asked with a tilt of her head, and your smile only widened at this despite your futile attempts to keep a straight face.

‎ ‎

“The lady at the nursery suggested I sell some of my plants there with her. I’m still considering it.”

‎ ‎

She didn’t know who she was, so you didn’t really bother telling Ying the name of this new friend you made. But her face still beamed at this.

‎ ‎

“Why not? You mentioned your apartment being cramped a while ago. Is that still the case?”

‎ ‎

“It is.”

‎ ‎

Of course she’d remember an off-handed comment from months ago. Besides, all anyone needed to know something like this was to simply glance at any of your windows, and they’d see the potted trees pressed up against them.

‎ ‎

“I’ll still have to wait until the weather clears up.”

‎ ‎

“I see. Good call.”

‎ ‎

She didn’t need to look out the windows to see the thick fog outside. The way to work was difficult enough for her since she had to avoid the black ice and check the weather for any potential storms. Nevertheless, despite how subtle it was, Ying immediately picked up on the wistfulness that bled into your previously content tone.

‎ ‎

“Is… something wrong?”

‎ ‎

Your smile slowly fell as you carefully leaned on the table behind you.

Don’t quote me on this comparison, I hate Chemistry. But despite solitude being bound to you like protons to a nucleus at this point, and vice versa, you’d been keeping this question to yourself, and it felt like it was driving you mad. For once, you needed to ask someone, and who better than Ying? And you weren’t in the mood to be subtle or to ease her into it.

Might as well lay it all out.

‎ ‎

“Is Yu dead?”

‎ ‎

She seemed incredibly caught off guard by the question.

‎ ‎

“Dead? That– that’s a… ah, a bold assumption… Why would you ever say that?”

‎ ‎

Should you even tell her about the gun and the hourglass medallion? Even though you were still pissed at Yu for keeping so many things hidden from you, you still felt it disrespectful to air out his laundry behind his back. Well, if he was alive, that is.

Besides, it’s not like she was innocent either. She had a mysteriously large sum of money herself, despite being a humble café owner. Speaking of… why didn’t she just buy the painting with that instead of waiting for your harvest? Maybe you shouldn’t ask everything.

You sighed and ran your fingers through your hair.

‎ ‎

“Just a thought.”

‎ ‎

“No, don’t say that. You’re doing so well, Y/N; don’t let the pessimism get to you!”

‎ ‎

You smiled in amusement at her words. Was the change in your appearance and attitude that drastic? You could’ve sworn one of the positive things about your genes was the lack of dark circles under your eyes. Ying, however, only kept going.

‎ ‎

“How about we visit his grandmother? I know both of you used to do that a lot. Are those lemons done growing?”

‎ ‎

“They are. I should be able to harvest them on Sunday if the weather gets better.”

‎ ‎

It’s been a while since you visited her. And honestly, you may or may not have missed her delighted smile and hug whenever she’d see you come in with freshly baked goods for her to enjoy. Shame this all stopped when Yu disappeared. If you took it this horribly, you couldn’t even imagine what she was going through.

‎ ‎

“Sunday? That’s great! Would you like me to come with you? I’ll bring the baskets!”

‎ ‎

For once, the offer sounded enticing. Hauling baskets around in a bus also sounded like a terrible idea. So…

You nodded.

‎ ‎

“I don’t mind.”

‎ ‎

“Wonderful! So, what do you always bring her? Was it lemon bars, or…”

‎ ‎

Ying started spitballing ideas as she walked you to the counter, attempting to come up with a list of lemon desserts for you both to bring. Sweets and baking weren’t her forte, but it was really fun to watch her ramble on about something she really enjoyed. It wasn’t that hard to tell that she never got to have a casual conversation with someone outside of work, anyway.

And so you let her talk, instead opting to listen to her in silence and only chiming in when she was out of words.

‎ ‎

❤ฺ·。

‎ ‎

Both of you settled on lemon pie. It was a nice change compared to the usual pound cakes you’d always bring her. And besides, you needed to bring something special after not visiting her for years, or however long it’s been. Not like you were one to keep track of time.

Nevertheless, a week had passed since that conversation, and things only continued to improve. Mentally, that is.

You were way too exhausted from tending to what felt like a few hundred trees all day. The work felt like it was never ending. It’s not like you were able to go outside anyway; the fog never let up since then. Even the buses were starting to reroute, and your path to work was getting more and more hazy.

Thankfully for you, it was Saturday; you’ve been up since the crack of dawn, and you’ve just finished your housework at two in the afternoon. Pruning, fertilising, watering and fending off fungal infections and diseases. Even though it was winter, an abundance of dormant plants still equaled a considerable amount of work. Sure, as Ying said, the air was fresher in here, but you needed to sell all of these plants. It was quite literally a forest at this point. That wasn’t to mention the ones at Yu’s house that you still haven’t tended to, the ones you were going to harvest tomorrow had the weather improved.

Once you set down your shears and gave your fingers the relief of rest after spending the past hour pruning your kiwi tree, it felt like they were just one wrong move away from falling off your body. And maybe that was the time for you to actually stop working.

‎ ‎

You walked back inside to your hotter bedroom and slammed the door to the balcony shut, taking a deep breath of the fresh air to isolate a specific scent. And it didn’t take long for you to spot it – the scent of hot chocolate. You’d just made it for breakfast and had completely forgotten about it whilst waiting for it to cool off.

Huh. Instead of drinking it in bed, maybe you should try something Ying would probably do.

You ran your stiff fingers through your hair and moved towards the kitchen, grabbed the lukewarm cup and headed for the living room. Once you sat down on the couch, the remote immediately made its way into your hand and the television was turned on. Yu’s blankets were still there. You washed and tossed them back there, since there was no reason for you to move them. Not like you felt ill when you looked at them. They were pretty warm.

Besides, you were more concerned with the television and whether or not it would work after being unused for so long.

And… Yeah. It was kind of boring. Scratch that; it was very boring. Ying was probably just way too old-fashioned for you.

You surfed through the channels for a few more minutes. And with every channel you passed, you were only further reminded as to why this blasted thing was never used. You surfed and surfed and surfed, eventually landing on whatever channel it was once you’d gotten bored enough and instead picked up the phone to scroll through social media. Maybe you really should hit up your landlord and stop funding this useless thing mounted on your wall, you mused.

Your train of thought, however, was immediately derailed once your ringtone blasted in your ears. Ying had suddenly called you. And despite your annoyance, you accepted it without thought, holding the phone up to your ear.

‎ ‎

“Y/N! Good afternoon, how are you?”

‎ ‎

“Hi. Do you need something?”

‎ ‎

She tittered, and you could feel her anxiously fan herself from the other side of the phone.

‎ ‎

“What if I just wanted to check in on my friend?”

‎ ‎

“So you… don’t need anything.”

‎ ‎

“No, I do. Are you free this March?”

‎ ‎

You sighed and instead looked out the window, your eyes locking on the rapid snowfall that only helped further coat the ground in tonnes of snow. Sidewalks, houses, dead trees, balconies… Well, the uncovered ones, of course. Your balcony was safe.

‎ ‎

“Possibly. Why?”

‎ ‎

This question was weird to ask, to say the least. Especially to someone who lived their life with no planning and went with the flow. But you did understand why she’d ask since she planned months and months ahead.

‎ ‎

“There’s something I must do, but it’s highly likely that I’d end up needing your assistance with it. Do you recall a few years ago, when you…”

‎ ‎

Then, the word ‘storm’ caught your attention, your eyes immediately darted back to the television as your brain tuned out Ying’s words. Turns out that the channel you’d stopped at was the weather forecast, and the woman was explaining an incoming catastrophic storm headed towards…

Crap.

‎ ‎

“I– I have to go; I need to leave.”

‎ ‎

“Where? What’s happening?”

‎ ‎

Without thought, you stood up and rushed towards the thick jacket you had hung up on the coat rack right next to the door.

‎ ‎

“Ying, there’s a blizzard. It’s headed right around the neighbourhood where Yu’s house is!”

‎ ‎

You slipped on your boots and grabbed your keys, stuffing whatever remaining essentials there were in your pocket.

‎ ‎

“What?! Y/N, wait, don’t tell me you’re–”

‎ ‎

“I’m going, Ying!”

‎ ‎

“Don’t! Don’t, just wait for me, I–”

‎ ‎

You slammed the door shut, haphazardly holding the scarf over your nose, and rushed down the flight of stairs.

‎ ‎

Ying failed to convince you not to go before you closed the phone and shifted all of your focus back on your path, and she especially failed to get you to understand what was truly happening through your skull. To her, you either didn’t notice the magnitude of the situation, or you just outright didn’t care. Rushing into a blizzard just to keep a few trees safe was something no sane person would do, even with how much those trees meant to you.

And despite the thick haze that blocked you from seeing only a few feet in front of you, the people rushing to get home as soon as possible, and the rapid snowfall, none of it mattered. You clutched the ice-cold pole inside the bus and leaned your head against it, its temperature seeping through your thick black gloves and stinging your skin.

Your eyes locked on the windows as you watched the driver struggle to make his way through the fog, and your heart raced fast enough that it nearly constituted a heart attack. People around you were scared. The children huddled with their parents like scared birds, and you swore you could hear a few of them reassure their kids that they were going to make it home just fine. But you tuned it all out in favour of what was important to you.

All you needed to do was get to his house. Get to his house at the very least, and it’ll all be okay.

Those trees will be okay. You’ll make sure of it.

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