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i-am-a-bad-influence-writes · 3 years

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Hayloft - Part 1

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Summary: A young girl finds a soldier hiding in the hayloft on her father’s farm. Intrigued, she visits him more and more until her father finds out and puts him to work. As they grow closer, something else grows too.

Pairing: James Buchanan “Bucky” Barnes x OC Jenny Richelle “Ricky” Hill

Warning: Strong language, inaccurate war description

Author’s note: Based on the song Hayloft by Mother Mother and the lovestory of my grandparents. I am Dutch and the war was a bit different here, so I will be basing this on the stories I’ve heard about my grandparents.

Word count: 2624

‘Alpine, what are you playing at,‘ the woman laughs as she sees the cat trying to bury itself with him, ‘come on, I got some scraps left for you.‘ The cat doesn’t list to her. The girl sighs and climbs onto the hayloft, letting herself fall onto the hay just inches from where he’s laying. He feels his heart beating faster and faster.

‘What are you doing,‘ she laughs while he tries to hold his breath and stay motionless. Nerves rush through his body as he realizes there is nowhere else to go. That, or he has to throw this girl off the hayloft. There are a thousand scenarios running in his head, but it’s either the end of him or the end of the girl. He’s going to have to go on the run again. How will he keep her quiet? Can he even keep her quiet? There’s a whole family in the house. Alarm bells go off everywhere in his mind, but he’s frozen in shock. ‘What do you have there?‘ He feels the cat has gotten his shirt in its mouth and it pulling on it. Next he hears is a gasp and a poking at his back. The poking is so gentle. Almost like she’s teasing him. ‘Are you dead or hiding?‘ Her gentle, unbothered voice surprises him. He gets up carefully, wiping the hay off his face. She chuckles at the sight of him and brushes a few strands of hay off his shoulder. ‘Hiding, I’m sorry,‘ he manages to mutter while continuing to study the face of the girl for any signs of fear or anger. But she looks just fine, not even slightly scared of having a strange man in the hayloft. ‘You chose the wrong town to hide,‘ the girl tells him while the cat snuggles up on his lap again, ‘they just hung your picture in the post office today. James Barnes right?‘ He nods. ‘I’m Jenny Hill, nice to meet you James.‘ ‘Are you going to turn me in Jenny,‘ he asks, despair written everywhere where the fear is less visible. He looks like he’s trembling. Jenny looks him up and down. He looks much more rugged than his picture. James has stubble and much longer hair than he has in the clean picture in the post office. She could barely tell it was him if her gaze hadn’t lingered on his picture a little longer than it should have. ‘No,‘ she tells him, ‘but you can’t stay here for nothing. People will get suspicious. I’ll ask my father if we can take in another.‘ She walks back over to the ladder. ‘Another?‘ She looks back at him with a smile and he takes a second to take her in. Bright blue eyes, light-brown waves brushing her shoulders, heart-shaped lips, a button nose, and straight eyebrows. She looks mellow, gentle, but there’s this glimmer in her eyes. There’s something mischievous about her. ‘Yeah, you don’t think you’re the only runner right?‘ The girl leaves him on the hayloft with Alpine while he tries to gather his thoughts. This just might be the best case scenario, if she isn’t just playing it up. ‘Oi, stowaway!‘ A low, male voice startles James. He peeks over the edge of the hayloft and sees an older man standing at the bottom. ‘What’s your deal? Why are you running?‘ ‘I’m my mother’s only son, she asked me to stay out of the army,‘ James explains. ‘Family man,‘ the man grumbles and nods, ‘fine, come down. We got some food left.‘ He climbs down the ladder and gets a pat on the shoulder, as well as a strong handshake from the man. He’s welcomed with open arms by a man he doesn’t know in the most uncertain time. He could be a spy, he could be a soldier, he could rat on them, but they just open up to him. ‘I’m Oliver Hill, you met my daughter Jenny,‘ he gestures at the girl standing in the doorway of the farmhouse while the other children walk in, ‘youngest son is called Nathan, that’s Wesley, and this is Penny. My wife’s name is Juliette, but you will address her as misses Hill.‘ ‘Of course sir,‘ James nods, ‘I’m James Barnes.‘ ‘Let me get you to the shed so you can mee the others,‘ Oliver grumbles, ‘Jenny, set the table for the lads.‘ ‘Yes father,‘ Jenny winks at James with this most enchanting smile on her lips. If there would be something like love at first sight, James had just experienced it but he can’t forget that his feelings might be corrupted because she helped him. These are uncertain times. Feelings can be strange. Oliver opens the shed. Inside James sees two bunk beds that seem to have been hand made, a table in the corner of the room with three chairs, and a crate with books in it. It’s not much, but it’s enough. ‘Boys, this is James Barnes. He’ll be helping us out,‘ Oliver calls into the shed. One of the two guys inside jumps of the top bunk and shakes James’ hand with a big smile. ‘Johnny Meadow, nice to meet you,‘ he says, ‘this is Timothy Leads. He doesn’t talk much.‘ ‘That’s alright,‘ James nods, ‘nice to meet you two.‘ ‘You’ve found the right spot James,‘ Johnny grins, ‘there aren’t many with such a good heart as mister Hill.‘ ‘Flattery will get you nowhere boy,‘ mister hill grumbles, ‘you better watch it or I’ll get the boys to wake you for a week.‘ ‘I was just joking sir,‘ Johnny chuckles, ‘but I don’t think our new lad will be ok if you do. He looks a little jumpy. You ok James?‘ ‘Yeah, yeah, just been through it the past days,‘ James tries to brush it off like it’s nothing, but both boys can tell something’s up with him. There’s something up with all of them. Running away from everything makes everyone jumpy. ‘Oi, stable boys,‘ Jenny calls with a cheeky grin on her face, ‘dinner’s ready.‘ The two almost dash past James and Oliver. Oliver puts his hand on James’ shoulder. ‘Listen boy, you can’t stay here for nothing,‘ he tells him, ‘these boys work for me in exchange for food and shelter. That’s what I expect from you as well. I don’t need you to talk or tell us your whole life story. All I ask is that you keep your head down and hide when I tell you to, alright?‘ ‘Yes sir.‘ ‘James,‘ he looks up at the sound of his voice and sees Jenny waving at him, ‘you better get in here before the others eat it all.‘ Oliver chuckles. ‘You better get in there boy. Oh, if you have anyone you need to contact, Jenny works at the post office. She can sneak some letters past,‘ Oliver grumbles at the boy and walks with him into the house.

James almost jumps out of his skin at the sound of knocking on the door of the shed. He can barely keep himself from falling out the bed. The door opens, letting in the sunlight and the other boys groan. ‘Good morning gents,‘ Jenny says cheerfully and puts half a loaf of bread, half a stick of butter, six slices of cheese, and a bottle of milk on the table along with a knife to slice the bread and a butter-knife to spread the butter. ‘Morning miss Hill, did you sleep well,‘ Timothy asks her while he rubs her eyes. ‘Slept wonderfully, you guys do okay?‘ ‘We did alright,‘ Johnny smiles at her, ‘what’cha got there?‘ ‘Some clothes for James,‘ she hums and puts them down by his feet, ‘drop your dirty clothes in the hamper by the back door. Mother will give them a wash.‘ ‘Thank you so, so much,‘ James lulls, ‘you have been way too kind.‘ ‘Nonsense,‘ Jenny huffs, ‘we should all be a little kinder to each other, especially now. Oh, and I traded some books with my coworker, Michelle. So I got some new things for you to read. No terrible romance novels this time. I’ll drop them off in the afternoon.‘ ‘Thank you so much Jenny,‘ Timothy mumbles, still trying to rub the sleep out of his eyes. ‘Now get up you lazy bastards,‘ she laughs, ‘my father will have you if you’re not ready by six.‘ She pats down the wrinkles in her blouse and makes sure her skirt is on straight while she’s almost making her leave. ‘Gosh, when’d you get so stuck-up,‘ Johnny chuckles and sits up on his bed, ‘you were much nicer in high school.‘ She winks at him as she buttons her waistcoat and leaves, closing the door behind her. James yawns and stretches. ‘You went to school with her,‘ he asks Johnny, ‘how old are you now?‘ ‘21,‘ he sighs, ‘Timothy just turned 18. How about you?‘ He pulls his shirt over his head while he talks. ‘23.‘ James reaches for the shirt Jenny brought him. ‘Did she do this for both of you?‘ Timothy and Johnny share a look. Timothy nods. ’Yeah, they have some clothes for guys around our age,’ he mutters. Johnny rubs his head for a second as he sees James face contort into a question mark. He sighs, knowing he’ll have to explain. ‘Look, we didn’t tell you this but this family already lost people. They know the hurt and they don’t want others to suffer it, so they help wherever they can even if it puts them all in danger,‘ Johnny explains, ‘so no more questions. Just work and keep your head down.’

Jenny walks into work and looks at the cork board. There are two pictures gone. A gasp leaves her mouth. Michelle just comes walking from the back with two cups of coffee. ‘Ah Jenny, good morning doll,‘ she smiles and hands her a cup. ‘Morning Michelle,‘ she forces a smile, ‘say, weren’t there two others on the board?‘ ‘Oh yes, they took off two this morning.‘ ‘What does that mean?‘ ‘From what they told me, it could mean one of three things,‘ Michelle sums up, ‘they could either be found, spotted, or dead.‘ Jenny’s eyes fall on the pictures of Johnny, James, and Timothy. They’re still there. At least that means they haven’t been spotted. Yet. ‘What a shame,‘ she hums and walks behind her desk, ‘all these young men laid to rest.‘ ‘It’s a shame. Builds character though,‘ Michelle shrugs like she doesn’t care at all. But just because she got out of it well, doesn’t mean others want to lose their lovers, their brothers, their sons. ‘Michelle, you can’t say that,‘ Jenny snaps at her, ‘they’re sending those poor boys to die.‘ ‘Not all of them are the same as Casper,‘ she argues, ‘some are trained.‘ ‘Casper was trained.‘ Jenny looks close to rage as Michelle realizes what she just implied. No, it’s not a good look to insult someone’s dead brother. Not a good look indeed. ‘Okay, enough of this, I have your route dotted out in the back. Get to work.‘ Oh if looks could kill.

James, Johnny, and Timothy sit under a tree by the farmhouse in the cool grass, picking at it, sharing a cigarette, and chatting away. The watch Jenny arrive back with a frown on her face. They see how she throws her bike to the side with teary eyes and stomps inside. ‘What’s up with her,‘ James asks the other two. ‘Probably her coworker. From what I’ve heard the bitch can be quite insensitive,‘ Johnny laughs. James can’t really find it in himself to laugh along. Seems to him Jenny has a tough time as well. A few minutes pass and the door opens again. Jenny walks over to them, picking the cigarette from James’ fingers and taking a deep drag while plopping down in the grass with them. She keeps the thing in her mouth and smokes it faster than a dragon. ‘Something tells me you’ve done that before,‘ James laughs as he picks the near finished cigarette from het lips, takes the last drag, and puts it out on an ashtray that mister Hill gave them along with the cigarettes. ‘Fuck you,‘ she mumbles, pulling her knees up to her chest. ‘Oh come on doll, don’t be like that,‘ Johnny chuckles, giving her a new cigarette. She sticks it between her lips and Timothy lights it for her with the zippo she gave him at one point. ‘Call me doll one more time and I will cut your tongue clean out your mouth,‘ she mumbles, chin pressed against her knees as she wraps her arms around them. Occassionally letting one arm loose to take a drag from het cigarette. ‘Bad day,‘ Timothy asks with a nervous smile. ‘Michelle is such a bi-‘ ‘Language,‘ Johnny tells her with a smirk. ‘Suck my dick,‘ she tells him, ‘Michelle was saying the war builds character and implied that Casper died because he wasn’t trained. He was a goddamn sniper for fucks sake!‘ ‘I’m sorry, who’s Casper,‘ James asks, gaining a furious glare from Jenny, ‘if you don’t mind me asking.‘ ‘I do mind,‘ she hums, ‘but he’s my brother. He had just turned twenty when they took him away. Only took a few months before we got the letter.‘ ‘I’m sorry to hear,‘ he lets his head hang a little, trying to see if she’s angry at him from his hunched position. She takes a drag and pushes a small smile on her face. ‘It’s fine. You didn’t know.‘ She passes the cigarette to Timothy, who quickly passes it to Johnny with a disgusted look on his face. ‘Good, well, I left the books in the house. You can take them with you after dinner.‘ ‘You’re not joining us for dinner,‘ Johnny asks. ‘I am, but wouldn’t it be blasphomy to let a poor weak maiden carry all those heavy books herself when there’s three strong men in the house,‘ she puts on theatrics while she says it. James can’t help but smile at her performance. Talking to them clearly cheered her up a bit. ‘No, but I’m going to have to scrub my mouth so dad doesn’t find out I smoked. I’ll see you guys in a minute.‘ She jogs off into the house. James watches her go with stars in his eyes. ‘She always like this?‘ ‘Much, much worse,‘ Johnny laughs, seeing the amazed look on the man’s face, ‘my man, you have it bad.‘ ‘What?‘ Johnny continues to laugh and gets up from his place, patting James on the shoulder before walking back to the shed with the cigarette and the ashtray. ‘Did I do something?‘ James looks at Timothy, but he just shrugs.

After dinner, Jenny sits down in the same spot behind the farmhouse with a book. While the other boys are playing cards, James decided to look for that same spot with a book of his own. He shoots her a recognizing smile and sits down with her in silence. They read for a minute before the need to say anything becomes too much to James. ‘You alright doll?‘ ‘I thought I made it clear I don’t want to be called doll,‘ she remarks, keeping her eyes on her book. ‘I’m sorry, how may I call you miss,‘ he asks properly. ‘Just call me Jenny.‘ ‘What are you reading Jenny?‘ ‘What’s it to you James?‘ ‘Just curious, that’s all.‘ He watches as a smile starts tugging on the corners of her lips. She tries to suppress it, but the sparkle in her eyes is clear as day. ‘Of sons and lovers,‘ she hums, showing him the front, ‘do you know it?‘ ‘Heard of it, haven’t had the chance to read it,‘ he answers, ‘will you read it to me?‘

#bucky #bucky fanfic #bucky fic #bucky fanfiction #marvel #marvel fanfic #marvel fanfiction #james barnes #james barnes fic #james barnes fanfic #james barnes fanfiction

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islareeveswriting · 5 years

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No one knows you like a best friend.

Of course Molly knew that was true, and it was the reason she knew Jimmy was her best friend. Apart from how much they had in common, how well their personalities fitted together, and how much fun they managed to have together even when they didn’t feel like having fun, Jimmy seemed to know Molly like the back of his hand, and vice versa. When there was something Molly wanted to talk to someone about, it was Jimmy she went to no matter what it was. There was nothing to hide behind when it came to Jimmy, nothing to be shy of. Jimmy didn’t judge, ever. Molly hoped Jimmy felt the same about her, and she was fairly certain he did based on the sort of things he’d come to her about in the past, and based on how open and honest he was with her.

It was the reason that once Molly had closed the door behind Harry at two am on a Monday morning, post-date, honest conversation, and cuddle, Molly went straight to Jimmy. It was the reason Molly didn’t knock on Jimmy’s door, just pushed it open slowly, to find him awake, glasses on, sat up in his bed, reading. It was the reason she wasn’t surprised he was up reading at two am on a Monday morning. And it was the reason Jimmy didn’t even have to ask if it was a bad date, he just had to see her to know, all he had to ask was whether or not she wanted to talk about it pre or post hug.

Molly hadn’t asked Harry to stay that night, and Harry didn’t hint that he wanted to. It seemed to be an unspoken agreement that they would both go to their own beds after the night they’d had. Perhaps it would have been better to have crawled into Molly’s bed together and let sleep heal what was left to fix, but that would only have been ignoring how they both liked to be alone with their heads sometimes, and that was something neither of them could run from. They’d talk the next day, they agreed that much, as Harry stepped out into the night and to the taxi waiting to take him home. There was no tension or uneasiness between them when Harry left, nothing particularly unsaid, it felt resolved. But that didn’t mean it felt like the best thing to do was to spend the night together. It felt like the best way to draw a line under the whole thing, was for Harry to go his own home, get in his own bed, and arrange to see each other after a good night’s sleep.

The thing was, Molly knew she was in the wrong. She’d kept what she’d kept from Harry simply because she expected a bad reaction, but the reaction she got was worse than she’d anticipated, and she knew that came down to the fact she’d chosen not tell him. If she’d just explained calmly what had happened, it would have been different, and sure maybe Harry would have been a little annoyed, but they might have ended up in the same bed at the end of the night. Jimmy didn’t need to tell her that, but he did. It wasn’t exactly an excuse for how Harry had acted, but at the same time Molly found she couldn’t blame him. Molly knew she was to blame, and it felt to her they were both as bad as one another, asking for transparency, but each keeping up a frosted window.

Post hug under his sheets Jimmy told Molly to stop getting into her head about things, let it go with the flow, let it happen. It was the same old thing, Molly overthinking and Jimmy coaxing her gently out of her mind and into the moment. Overthinking what had happened with Ryan had led to keeping it from Harry. Overthinking what had happened with Harry surely couldn’t be a good thing either. It was done, and she had to let it pass and stop going back to it, looking over the words and reading between them for things that weren’t there. Jimmy could see her doing it as she nibbled her bottom lip and scratched at the index finger of her left hand with the opposite one. Jimmy tried to keep her from it, the same way she tried to keep him from impulsive decisions that weren’t at all thought through.

Until Jimmy, Molly had always been a girls girl, always finding the company of other women easier. Perhaps it was because she’d spent most of her early life surrounded mostly by girls, her sister, her cousins, most of her friends. There were very few boys in her life until high school, and even then it was thanks to her relationship with Ryan more than anything. It wasn’t necessary purposeful, it was just the way life fell for Molly. But she couldn’t be more thankful her and Jimmy and stumbled into each others life, because she was sure she didn’t know what she’d do without them, despite the friendship she found in Lauren and Natalie a like. They were both good friends, but they weren’t the same as Jimmy, and that was something Molly often felt a little guilty for, especially when Lauren suggested things like girls night so they could chat about Molly’s date, nearly a week after she’d crawled into Jimmy’s bed and chatted for hours with him about it.

“You two have got to go out tonight,” Lauren started, waving her marmite coated knife between Jimmy and Ben who were sat at the dining table, one eating, one working on notes they hadn’t taken in their recent lecture but managed to nab from the girl they sat next to as they left the hall. Ben looked up from the notepad he was bent over with a creased forehead.

“Why?” Jimmy groaned after swallowing the mouthful of cereal he’d stolen from Molly’s cupboard. The bowls in front of them were identical, little hoops covered in honey and drowning in milk. Jimmy was yet to do a food shop and of course Molly couldn’t say no to letting him have some of the branded cereal she’d treated herself to.

“Cause Molly had a date last week, and me and Nat-”

“Nat and I,” Ben chimed in from the notes he’d turned his attention back to, scrawling over the squared paper emphatically.

“Nat and I,” Lauren corrected with an eye roll, “still haven’t heard all about it,” Lauren grinned, turning her eyes to Molly and picking up her small plate of toast, freshly buttered and covered in marmite, and heading for the table with the rest of them.

“There’s really nothing to tell,” Molly tried not to grumble, keeping her voice neutral as she spoke, and quickly shoved another spoon of cereal into her mouth.

“Oh come off it Mol, your first proper date with Harry, there’s gotta be something to tell,” Lauren snickered eyening Natalie who had obviously started to pay some attention from where she was reclined on the sofa, tying her laces ready to leave for her first lecture of the week.

“Not entirely,” Molly did grumble that time, and Lauren seemed to get the hint with that, clearing her throat before starting again.

“Look, we haven’t had a girly night in ages, if there’s nothing to tell fine, but at least let us use it as an excuse to get them out of the house so we can have it to ourselves for a while,” Lauren bartered, her half eaten slice of toast lingering in her hands, one last bite finishing it off, chewing as she waited for Molly’s response.

“Fine,” Molly sighed, dropping her spoon down and falling back against the chair she was in. There was a gleeful smile on Lauren’s face as she finished up her marmite on toast, but Molly wasn’t feeling as excited as she normally might for girls night. It wasn’t necessarily that she didn’t want to tell Lauren and Natalie how the date had gone, she just didn’t see the point of going through it all over again, just for further confirmation that she was fully in the wrong, and Harry had every right to go off at her the way he had. Just to be told all over again to chill out, take her time, let him take his time, if there were things he was keeping back there was surely a reason and he’d tell her in his own time. Molly knew Jimmy’s advice was right, it so often was, and she didn’t want to seem like she felt entitled to every part of Harry if there were parts he didn’t want to give her. But no part of her could describe how in the dark she often felt when they spoke about themselves, and that was only because she found herself doing all the talking while Harry did all the listening.

“If you don’t want to tell them you don’t have to,” Jimmy whispered, leaning closer to Molly. She fell back into the room with a thud, only noticing Lauren had left the table when Jimmy woke her back up from her head. Molly turned her head a little to look at him, and she nodded with a soft smile. She knew that. But she also knew she’d find herself telling them nonetheless.

“There’s footie on in The Crown tonight,” Natalie piped up, grabbing her rucksack from the chair as she stood and slinging it on her shoulders all in one movement. “If you want something to do,” Natalie shrugged, her cheeks pinking a little as three pairs of eyes moved to her, all just slightly narrowed.

“How on earth do you know what The Crown are showing?” Ben asked. The Crown was far from close, and it was a proper locals pub, not the sort of place any uni student made themselves known in, unless of course they were making themselves known to a local. It didn’t take Molly long for it to click, and a knowing smile walked onto her face just as Natalie’s eyes crossed to her.

“Finally text you then?” Molly teased with a wink. Natalie’s cheeks only reddened more and she made a beeline for the door. “Don’t think I’m the only one under the scope tonight now Nat,” Molly called after her with a smirk on her own face.

It had been weeks since Molly had passed Natalie’s number onto Niall. He’d been slightly tipsy at the rugby social and obviously managed to pluck up the courage to ask at last. Molly checked with Natalie that it was ok and within minutes Niall was saving Natalie’s number in his phone. For a while it had seemed like nothing had come of it, Niall seemingly shrinking back to his shy ways and Natalie being left disappointed. Neither Molly nor Natalie bought it up, Natalie would talk about it if she wanted or ask Molly about it, but she never did, so Molly let it slide, assuming Natalie was doing the same. Obviously Molly had been wrong, and perhaps Niall hadn’t been quite as shy as he’d have others believe.

“Who’s text her?” Ben asked quickly once they heard the front door open and close. Molly just tapped the side of her nose and shook her head, collecting up her bowl and heading for the dishwasher. There was a heap of work on her desk to get through before the boys left, possibly for The Crown, more likely for the Wetherspoons that was a little closer to home and much more suited to the sort of budget they had for a few drinks and a couple of games of pool.

Back in her room, Molly glanced around the place. It had been a busy week of finishing up designs, and her room was a mess for it. The toile’s she’d made had all passed, and been approved with rapturous praise from her lecturer, and the final pieces were stitches from being finished. All that had to happen was for Harry to get into them she could double check everything was exactly as she saw it in her head. After that she’d complete the final alterations and they could take the photos so she could put the finishing touches to her portfolio, that, so far, she was proud of. Possibly the most proud she’d been of a project.

There was something about it that she couldn’t quite put her finger on. It felt like she’d worked a lot harder to achieve the results she had, and it showed already, before the pieces were even completed. But simultaneously it felt like the whole thing had come together a lot easier. Normally by the final stage of a project, Molly was feeling tired, ready for it to be over so she could move onto something else, relax for a minute, but with her current project, she found herself not wanting it to end. The clothes she’d fashioned were some of her favourites, and the complete suit might have even been at the top of the pile of all the things she’d ever made. Molly couldn’t wait to see them on the model, on Harry, and that was only a day away.

Admittedly Molly was a little nervous. And not just because it would be the first time Harry would see the finished designs. It would also be the first time they’d actually seen each other since their ‘date’, though that didn’t exactly feel like the right word anymore. It wasn’t intentional by any means. Both of them had been busy, Molly with finishing up her project, Harry with work on a job out of town that included an hour commute morning and evening. They spoke everyday and it felt normal, natural. It actually felt quite nice, and like even though they were both on the verge of pulling their hair out with how much they had to do, they were making time for one another and taking a moment to find the calm they both revelled in, in one another. It wasn’t as if they were pretending their argument had never happened, but by the same token they weren’t letting it drag them down.

Still Molly was nervous, in a similar way to how she felt ahead of their date. An excited anticipation she was taking deep breaths every so often to deal with. If she wasn’t so busy, and her mind so often occupied with other things, she knew she’d be a mess. But as she glanced over the suit jacket hanging on the mannequin in the corner of her room, knowing in twenty four hours Harry would be wearing it, it was hard to ignore the bubbling fizz of nearly anxiety in her tummy.

Instead of dwelling on it, knowing there was no point, no matter how much her mind tried to tug her back to thinking about seeing Harry tomorrow, and showing him her creations, Molly set about tidying up her room a bit. There was half an essay on her laptop that needed finishing before Monday, and she wanted to take some photos of the suit on her mannequin before tomorrow so her portfolio was as up to date as possible. Mentally she made a list of what she wanted to do before her ‘girly night’ later, and focused on that, as she tidied up the papers and piles of fabric around the place, rather than the tickle in her limbs.

In her occupied state, Molly lost track of time, and it didn’t feel like any time at all had passed when Jimmy popped his head around her bedroom door to say goodbye and wish her a nice evening, though looking at the clock, and glancing out the window to the setting sun, Molly realised it was late in the day. She was in the swing of editing a couple of photos for her her portfolio when Lauren waltzed into her room, cosy pyjamas and fluffy socks on, hair pinned back and make up removed, minutes after Molly had heard the front door close behind the boys.

“I’m gonna order the pizzas, gonna get into your best pyjamas and bring your duvet?” Lauren asked gleefully, leaning onto Molly’s desk. Molly was still heavily concentrated on her images, eyes squinted through her glasses at the finer details of the photos.

“Yeah,” Molly croaked, clicking away on the track pad. “Just give me two seconds,” She said distractedly, not even glancing up at Lauren. “Let me print these and I’ll be with you,” Molly bargained and Lauren seemed to accept it, heading out of Molly’s room in the same high spirits she’d come in on.

Once the printer had whirred to life and was busy printing out the images Molly had taken and edited, just slightly, of her pieces, pre-final stitching, Molly got up out of her seat and stretched her limbs. There was a pair of clean pyjamas on the shelf in her wardrobe which she grabbed and threw onto the roughly made bed before beginning to take off the comfy clothes she’d stayed in all day. Honestly she’d have rather showered again before pulling on clean clothes, not that she was exactly dirty, it wasn’t like she’d exactly done a lot since her morning shower, but stepping away from the screen for the first time in hours, Molly felt groggy in a way that only a steaming shower could fix. As it was Molly just sighed and pulled her pyjama top on.

“Mol.” Molly turned to Natalie’s quiet voice, creeping around her door. “Can I ask a favour?” Natalie asked, stepping into the room and quietly closing the door.

“Sure,” Molly smiled, grabbing her pyjama bottoms before taking a seat in the space they’d left, pulling them up her legs and glancing up at Natalie still with a smile on her face. Natalie had her fingers held in one another, toying with them and staring down at them as she stood on the edge of Molly’s room. The way Natalie was holding herself wiped the smile off Molly’s face and made her sit up a little straighter. “What’s up?” Molly asked, a tone of concern swallowing her voice.

“Can you not say anything about Niall?” Natalie started, her words rushing out of her. “I don’t mind you knowing, but I don’t want everyone knowing, well we don’t,” Natalie explained quickly, eyes finding Molly at last.

“Of course, I won’t say anything, it’s fine,” Molly nodded, offering what she hoped was a comforting and reassuring smile.

“We’ve only been on a couple of dates and stuff, and we really like one another, but y’know what it’s like when everyone knows,” Natalie offered stepping closer, and although she didn’t want everyone knowing, Molly felt like maybe there was a part of Natalie that wanted to talk about something.

“Sure, I get it, take it slow,” Molly nodded, pulling her legs up crossed and staring up at Natalie. “But you like him?” Molly asked knowingly.

“A lot,” Natalie laughed.

“That’s cute,” Molly grinned getting to her feet and adjusting her clothes a little. “But I won’t tell a soul, it’s between you, me and the walls,” Molly promised.

“Thanks Mol.” Natalie seemed more relaxed now as Molly found her softest jumper to pull on as well as the pyjamas she was wearing. “Niall mentioned yours and Harry’s date didn’t go exactly as planned though,�� Natalie started up again and there was a shyness back in her tone as she did so, clearly not sure if she was being presumptuous.

“Niall knows?” Molly asked, snapping up, a little stunned.

“I guess Harry spoke to him about it,” Natalie offered with a shrug like it was no big deal. And normally it wouldn’t be. Of course Harry had spoken to his best friend about relationship issues. But this was Harry, and Harry wasn’t the opening up about his problems type. Harry was an enigma, so much so that Molly couldn’t even confidently assume Niall was even who he classed as his closest friend. “I was just gonna say, we know what Lauren’s like, if you don’t want to go into the details don’t feel pressured to,” Natalie offered with a lopsided sort of smile-like twitch.

“Thanks Nat, to be honest, think I could do with the advise at this point though,” Molly mused with a sigh. Molly wasn’t entirely sure what to think. It wasn’t that she had a problem with the idea of Harry opening up to Niall about their argument, Molly had gone to Jimmy about it, and she wasn’t a hypocrite. But their argument had been about the fact Harry didn’t seem to want to open up about how he was feeling about things, and she couldn’t help but feel a little hurt that maybe she was the only he was like that with.

“Are you two coming or what?” Lauren’s loud call snapped Natalie and Molly to attention, and they both just offered each other a soft smile before heading out of Molly’s room, Molly with a thick blanket wrapped around her shoulders like a cape. “That’s not your duvet,” Lauren pointed out from where she was already sat on the floor, sat on her thick downy duvet.

“I changed the covers yesterday Loz, I really don’t want it all over the floor,” Molly told Lauren, draping her blanket out next to her and taking a seat. “Ben was eating chilli sensations in here earlier, and I’m not sure he actually ate all of them.” Lauren grimaced at the floor with that information, but was quickly distracted by Natalie dragging her duvet into the living room to join the others. It was how they’d always done girls night, even before they were living together. Only before they’d cramped into one of their dorm rooms, squeezed onto a single bed and tried to pretend they couldn’t hear all the goings on of the rest of the flat through the thin walls. Nowadays it was a slightly more sophisticated affair, so long as they could get rid of the boys they shared their house with. It was only fair, they gave up the living room weekly for Fifa tournaments and the like.

The three of them made themselves comfortable around one another and the coffee table where there were three glasses of wine and a big bowl of cheesy Doritos - the collective favourite. Chat bubbled up and it began to feel like they were catching up after some time apart. In reality they were just busy working towards deadlines and trying not to get bogged down with too much work. Molly couldn’t remember when she’d had a proper chat that wasn’t fleeting over a tea being made, or a quick dinner being stuffed down at the table for some screen free time. It was the time of year, it was always the same, so it felt nice to completely switch off from university for a little while and have some social time.

The only thing that took them out of their conversations filled with giggles more than anything serious, was the doorbell. Lauren hopped up to fetch it, returning with two large boxes of pizza and a tub of ice cream which she squeezed into their small freezer. They each shuffled closer to their side of the coffee table and began to delve into it. Conversation continued between mouthfuls, none of them missing an opportunity to talk about anything that took their fancy.

“So are you gonna tell us about the date or…?” Lauren asked once she’d finished a mouthful of pizza. It had been lingering around them. Lauren had made it perfectly clear she wanted to ask the question around the breakfast table, and it had been the elephant in the room ever since they’d sat down with their blankets and duvets, and Molly had been nervously waiting for it to come up. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to tell Lauren and Natalie what had happened exactly, and it wasn’t that she’d lied when she’d told Natalie she could do with advice, it was just she didn’t really know what to say, and she knew how what she could say sounded.

“The date was good,” Molly started, taking another bite of her pizza. It wasn’t a lie by any stretch of the imagination, from the moment Harry had picked her up, until she went to the bathroom had been amazing, wonderful, everything a good date should be. It was just after that felt like hell, in the moment, and later whenever Molly remembered how they’d talked to one another and the words they’d let themselves say.

“So what wasn’t?” Lauren asked with a hint of a laugh. One of those awkward, expectant laughs that came with darting eyes around the room.

“We argued,” Molly sighed, dusting her hands free of pizza crumbs and putting the unfinished slice back on the lid of the box they were sharing as a plate. There was no getting away from it, nowhere to run and hide, so Molly decided to just hold her hands up and come clean, pray the advice she got was what she actually needed to hear rather than what she wanted to hear, that it did sound like Harry was keeping something back, rather than that she was being daft, that she should trust her gut instinct, because her heart wasn’t always right. It had failed her before, and it could do the same again.

“Why?” Lauren asked. Molly explained what had happened, how it had happened, how she’d decided not to tell Harry about Ryan coming back, how he’d seen the text from Ryan that Molly had never replied, how she’d broken her promise to get into a taxi. And that’s where she left it. At least for the time being. “So he didn’t take it well then?” Lauren went on with a sigh, sinking a little and pouting her bottom lip.

“No, not at all,” Molly admitted, licking her lips and dropping her gaze. “It’s my fault, I know that I’m not stupid, I should have told him about it all.”

“You’re not wrong,” Lauren laughed, Molly flicking her eyes up to her. “What? I’m not gonna stick up for you just because you’re my friend, I did tell you to tell him, of course he’s pissed off, I’d be pissed off, you’d be pissed off if it was the other way round,” Lauren pointed out, and all Molly could find she could do was nod. She knew it was true, how she’d felt seeing him sat next to another woman after Christmas illustrated that just fine. There was no way Molly could pretend she wouldn’t be upset if she found out Harry had taken his ex home, and particularly if he’d tried to hide it from her. It didn’t exactly look good.

“So I take it you didn’t spend the night together?” Natalie piped up, leaning forward on the table next to Molly and twisting her neck to look at her ginger friend.

“No,” Molly told Natalie quietly, “He came here for a bit, and we talked, but he left,” Molly explained.

“How did the talking go?” Lauren asked. They were all talking softly, not like they were keeping their voices down in case anyone overheard them, more as if they were being gentle, tiptoeing around panels of shattered glass. Molly kind of hated it, she hated feeling like she was being wrapped in cotton wool. People had always done it, taken a look at her pale skin and freckled cheeks, her blue eyes and red hair, her small stature and delicate nature, and treated her like a china doll. It was part of why she liked work so much. There she was just one of the girls, and no one treated her any different, no one told her to be careful, or tried to do things for her, or got in the way of her just doing her job.

“Fine,” Molly shrugged.

“Molly what’s up?” Natalie asked, and Molly could hear the frown in her tone. Molly just shook her head, brushing it off. “Molly, come on, what’s going on?” Natalie asked again, so Molly swallowed and chewed the inside of her lip harder than the silence that pushed through them and chewed at her resilience not to say anything, to keep it inside, between her and her head. But she couldn’t, and she didn’t really want to anyway.

“There is just something, I don’t know what it is, and I don’t know why, but there is something that is telling me there is far more to him than he will ever let on, and there is something he is keeping from me,” Molly admitted, and the words spilled from her like water from a tumbled glass, all at once and too fast for anyone to do anything about it.

“Like what?” Lauren asked.

“I really have no idea, literally, and I don’t even know why I feel like it, cause when I’m with him I’m happy, for the most part,” Molly added, because obviously, clearly, there had been time when neither of them were happy, and Lauren nodded understanding. “He makes me feel good, we have fun, we get on really well, like I can’t figure it out, at all, but my head is telling me to be careful and I don’t know why, it’s driving me mad,” Molly finished with a deep sigh and a little growl of frustration. Part of her had hoped getting it out in the open would make it clearer, but it seemed to make no difference at all.

“Since when do you listen to your head over your heart?” Natalie laughed from beside her.

“Because last time I didn’t listen to my head I ended up feeling guilty for ending a relationship that I knew was already dead,” Molly pointed out. “This is different anyway, this isn’t a head or heart thing, this is just gut instinct,” Molly explained.

“Has it been there since the beginning?” Natalie questioned.

“Not really, I noticed it first when we were at my parents, there was just something I felt like he was avoiding, and then ever since I seem to be noticing it more,” Molly admitted a little downheartedly. “I don’t want to feel like this cause I really like him and enjoy being with him and I know I’m proper falling for him, but what if-”

“No, stop, don’t do that,” Lauren cut in sharply. “There is no point asking what if, because what if what? He’s still this person you really like being with, he’s still Harry, whatever it is, if it even is anything, it’s not going to change that,” Lauren all but promised. “If he makes you happy, if you feel good being with him, that’s all that matters, unless that changes, you don’t need to worry about it.” Molly took a quietly deep breath, taking in Lauren’s words and letting them sink in, letting them get to work on her doubts and fears. “Either that, or you ask him, straight up, what he’s hiding from you,” Lauren told her and Molly felt a fear inside her spark off.

Honestly, there was no part of her that wanted to ask Harry for the truth. She was scared of it, and the rooms around them always continued to fill with conversations they should have been, but never were, having. It wasn’t Harry’s fault. It wasn’t her fault. It wasn’t really anyone’s fault, it was just the way it was. It felt like the more Molly got know Harry, the more she saw the recesses of his mind, heart and soul, the more distanced she felt from him. The more she got to know him, the more she began to realise she was so far from him, the more she had to open up to the fact that he was a boy afraid of who he was, afraid of being a monster, wondering if everyone else was afraid of that too. Constantly looking at Molly and wondering if she had those same capabilities and always realising she didn’t. But of course she did, everyone had that part inside of them, those dark parts they could never fill with light, everyone, somewhere deep down. He was strong, but more than that he was determined to always look strong, adamant he couldn’t, wouldn’t, show weakness. Always holding himself like he was a secret, and the guardian of it all at once.

How she was ever meant to ask someone that wrapped up in themselves, in their own heads, in their own fight to not look weak, for a truth she could see he was scared of owning up to, Molly didn’t know. And so she just nodded at Lauren, and pretended like she really thought it was as simple as that.

The three of them finished the pizza’s and moved onto the ice cream without really even thinking. As Natalie was serving the tub into three bowls, Molly and Lauren perused Netflix for a move to stick on until the boys got home. They’d done their gossiping, chatting and laughing, and they were ready to snuggle into the duvets and blankets with some proper comfort food and lose themselves in an easygoing movie they’d seen a hundred times and didn’t really have to think about.

Normally that would have been a good thing. In Molly’s current mindset though it was terrible. Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging played, and Molly was too lost in her own head to even laugh when Georgia waddled along the seafront dressed as an Olive. Lauren didn’t seem to notice, but every now and again Natalie would give Molly a little nudge and a friendly smile, pulling her back into the room for a few seconds.

Continuously, Molly found herself falling into her mind, tripping and stumbling over the obstacles cluttering it up, keeping her from the film, and the time with her friends. It wasn’t even the fact that she practically new the movie word for word, it wouldn’t matter if she was watching it for the first time. Molly was so entangled in her thoughts, that it was almost a certainty nothing would have been able to keep her away from them. Any concentration available to her was stolen by going over the same thoughts again, and again, as if she might ever come to a different outcome. She never did.

There was no getting away from the fact that the more she let Harry into herself, the more locked out of him she felt. She doubted it was intentional, it didn’t feel like he was purposefully putting up defences. In fact it felt almost subliminal, like he didn’t really know he was doing it until Molly pointed it out to him, like it was built into him, learned the same way as treading water when it got too deep, or being cautious of fire. However, when Molly did point it out, he seemed to run from it harder, like the fire got hotter or the ocean deeper. When she asked for him to come closer, he took a step back, and Molly didn’t know how to get over that, because the only thing she wanted was for him to keep coming closer, and she didn’t know if his retreat was as intrinsic as the initial reaction.

It was a buzz from Molly’s phone that woke her back up to the room, and the movie. They were over half way through, and Molly wasn’t really sure how that had happened, or how she’d managed to get so lost in her head for so long.

“Phone’s are banned from girls night,” Lauren grumbled from beside Molly, but Molly ignored her reaching into the pocket of her hoodie for the phone.

“I’d like to remind you that last girls night, you sat there for the whole of Mean Girls texting your flavour of the week,” Natalie piped up, snarkily. Lauren just huffed, but Molly wasn’t really paying attention to the interaction, more invested in the screen, trying to pick her heart back up from her stomach, and get rid of the lump in her throat that had appeared almost before she’d even got to the end of the message.

Hey you, hope you’re having a good night with the girls? I’m really sorry but somethings come up and I can’t do tomorrow. I’ll call you first thing tomorrow and sort something out. Really sorry x

The little love heart emoji Harry put before the kiss, and the sad face, didn’t make it feel any better. Nothing made it feel any better. Nothing made being let down at the last minute by someone Molly cared about so much, and by someone who she found herself wanting to spend all her free time with, feel ok. It felt shit. It felt like she wanted to cry, and she chewed angrily at her bottom lip to stop it from wobbling. It might have been ok if hadn’t felt like he’d been avoiding her all day. If he hadn’t cut off her call, telling her he was busy and would call back later, if he’d replied to even one of Molly’s texts about plans for the following day, of if she could call him when she was in bed because they were having a girly night. He’d obviously seen them, he’d referenced them, but hadn’t bothered to reply. And consequently it felt like he’d known for a little longer than just under twelve hours before they were meant to see one another. And consequently it felt like he’d just changed his mind about the whole thing. And consequently Molly felt like she’d been put back in the dark corner she’d wondered if she might be beginning to find her way out of.

“What’s up?” Lauren asked, breaking Molly’s vicious circle of thoughts that tended to make her feel like she was drowning. They were overwhelmingly oppressive, and there seemed to be no escape. One thing ran right into the other, and Harry’s text only made that worse. She’d run out of contemplating how to tell him how she was feeling, into wondering how she was meant to get close to someone who appeared to be shutting her out every time she got nearer.

“Harry,” Molly smiled, pressing her phone to life again as the back light ran out of time and the screen went dark, eyes scanning over the words. There was a question mark, does he actually want a reply? Molly wondered. What does he expect me to say? Molly didn’t know what to say, because she didn’t know how to feel. She didn’t know if she was overreacting. But it felt the same as when they’d come back from her parents and he’d cut her out. It felt like getting to the last hurdle, only to find it was a ten metre brick wall and Molly had no way to get over it.

“What’s he saying?” Lauren giggled nudging her elbow, obviously expecting Molly to tell her something sweet, something cute, Harry looking for Molly’s attention after an evening without it. It was immediately clear though that, that was not the case, when Molly huffed an attempt at a laugh, curling her lips too falsely and blinking quickly as she bit her jaw together tightly. “Mol?” Lauren asked again.

“Cancelling our plans for tomorrow,” Molly grumbled locking her phone, and, almost literally, throwing it across the room. It landed just shy of her feet knocking against the floor with the force of her throw.

“Aren’t you meant to be going over your designs tomorrow?” Natalie asked from the other side of Molly, everyone now as distracted from the film as Molly had been before the text came in.

“Meant to be doing the final fitting,” Molly corrected, leaning her head back on the sofa and staring up at the dark ceiling. The film was still playing, but it didn’t do much for the light. The room was dark, and Molly was glad for that, because there were the beginnings of tears pricking her eyes and she’d rather no one saw that.

“That’s not ok,” Natalie pointed out sternly.

“Nat!” Lauren scalded.

“Well it’s not, just cause she’s seeing him doesn’t make it ok to cancel those sort of plans last minute, it’s not like it’s just coffee and cake is it?” Natalie pointed out, and Molly knew she was right, but only because of previous experience she wasn’t sure it made much difference. Harry cancelling any plans seemed to hold a deeper gravity than it might with anyone else. He wasn’t one to cancel, and normally he seemed as eager to spend time with Molly as she was him. He’d offered to pay her wages to keep her home with him rather than her go to work, she knew he liked spending time with her. So when he suddenly cancelled out of the blue and out of character, Molly felt confident in assuming he was having doubts, getting in his head again. And that made her feel sick. But instead of voicing that, she just sighed and shook her head.

“It isn’t fair, but what am I meant to do? He’s said something’s come up and he’ll call tomorrow to sort something out,” Molly informed them, staring at her phone, begging it to go off again, begging another text from Harry to say he’d gotten it wrong, managed to work something out so Molly could still turn up at his flat with the clothes for him, and have him try them on all afternoon before they ordered take out and sat on his couch with a movie and popcorn.

“You should go round there,” Lauren piped up, and Molly’s head spun fast enough to move air.

“What?” Natalie chuckled from behind Molly, clearly a little in disbelief at Lauren’s idea.

“You should go round there, just pay a visit,” Lauren shrugged like it was the most obvious suggestion. Based on the huff that came from Natalie, and the stunned silence from Molly, neither of them agreed. “You can look at me like that all you like, but if something big enough has come up, he won’t just be sat at home will he?”

“I don’t know, he hasn’t said what it is,” Molly pointed out, a little shrilly. “He said he’s going to be busy, so whether that’s at home or elsewhere, it means he can’t do what we were meant to be doing, so that’s it,” Molly told Lauren drawing a line under it with a swipe of her hand.

“Well I’d go round there and see what he’s up to,” Lauren shrugged, turning back to the movie that was in its final throes.

“Good for you, I wouldn’t,” Molly retaliated, staring into the side of Lauren’s face. “He’s told me he’s busy, and he’s told me he’s going to call, no it’s not ideal, but I trust he wouldn’t cancel without good reason,” Molly said, almost trying to convince herself as much as she was Lauren or Natalie.

“Really? Do you?” Lauren smirked, looking to Molly out of the side of her eyes. Molly didn’t say anything just pursed her lips, and stared back at Lauren as she twisted her head to Molly. “I didn’t think so either,” Lauren chuckled darkly.

“You’re being a bitch,” Molly grumbled.

“Sorry, but you’re making excuses for him, again, just like you did when you got back from your parents and he ignored you for like a week,” Lauren pointed out and Molly sat back a little, not quite expecting that to be fired at her, at least not by Lauren, not quite sure how Lauren even knew. “Yes, Jimmy tells me things when he’s worried about you, and he’s worried you’re being walked over again, only this time you’re so blinded by how pretty and nice he is that you won’t admit it,” Lauren snarked. “You would never have let Ryan get away with this, you argued for like an hour with him when he cancelled a week before he was coming down just for a regular visit and a night out, which he ended up coming down for anyway, this guy ghosts you for a week, cancels your final fitting, and yet you still smile sweetly and tell us it’s not a big deal, what’s different?” Lauren quizzed.

“You don’t know anything about him Lauren,” Molly hissed moving to stand up.

“Sounds like you don’t either,” Lauren grumbled sitting further back against the sofa. “Maybe if you just faced up to it, go round there and ask him what the fucks going on, you wouldn’t be sat here on girls night losing your mind about it one second, and then excusing him for it the next,” Lauren told Molly as she got to her feet.

“I’ll tell you what Loz, when you manage to hold onto a guy long enough to know anything apart from his name and and how good he is in bed you can give me advice, until then I’ll pass,” Molly sneered down at Lauren from her new height advantage.

“Mol-”

“No it’s ok,” Lauren interjected with a sickly sweet voice, stopping Natalie from mediating the conversation at all. “If Molly thinks holding down a shoddy four year relationship, and managing to pick up a guy two weeks later who ghosts her every time she gets close to him gives her the upper hand, let her believe it, but she can find someone else to pick up the pieces when it turns to shit again,” Lauren smiled up at Molly sarcastically.

“Sorry to burst your bubble, but taking me out for drinks isn’t picking up the pieces,” Molly hit back as Lauren got to her feet. There was an audible sigh from Natalie as she got to her feet to join them, hands on her hips, standing back a little. “I thought you’d have realised that after how many times we’ve had to do it for you,” Molly continued.

“You’re being out of ord-”

“You’re slagging off a guy you know nothing about,” Molly cut in before Lauren could finish.

“And you’re taking it personally,” Lauren laughed sarcastically.

“Because I care about him Loz, for all his faults and the stupid things he sometimes does, I care about him, and I don’t want to see him hurt,” Molly admitted her voice quieting with each admission. “He’s been through a lot of shit and he doesn’t need me being clingy and unreasonable,” Molly told Lauren.

“It’s not unreasonable to expect someone not to cancel plans the night before, and it’s not unreasonable to ask someone what’s going on when you’ve got feelings like you have, and when he’s saying he feels like he does, and personally I don’t think it’s unreasonable to turn up at his flat tomorrow and see what’s going on, he’s turned up here enough times unannounced,” Lauren told Molly, both of them quieter, Natalie sunk back further, falling into the chair as the both pulled themselves back from the knives they’d been throwing. “Maybe that’s just me, and maybe we’d both hate to admit but we’re more similar than we realise, it’s why we argue so hard,” Lauren smirked, making Molly chuckle. “No one wants to see you hurt Mol, it’s your decision, but you can’t keep making excuses for him out loud when in your head it’s not the same.”

“I’m just terrified,” Molly sighed, realising that perhaps it wasn’t only Lauren she had more in common with than she first anticipated.

I have absolutely no idea how I feel about this one, but hopefully you guys will have an idea so let me know if you do 😂😂😂

I hope you enjoy it nonetheless and can’t wait to hear some of your thoughts and theories. Have a great weekend. Love u <3

#dive #harry styles #harry styles fan fic #1dff #hsfanfic #harry au #harry styles au #harry fluff #harry angst #EUGGGHHH #kinda hate this one #but hope you like it #let me know #thoughts please

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builder051 · 6 years

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Mike and Jason at Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving-time! It’s a little early, but I’ll have another (better?) treat to post a bit closer to the actual day. It’s not the Stucky novella, though, so don’t get your hopes up quite yet.

I’ve combined prompt #15 from the 100 prompts list with a scenario I’ve had in my head for ages. This one features Mike and Jason, who are possibly my fave OCs at the moment.

Huge trigger warning for self-induced vomiting in a situation that is simultaneously ED-related and NOT ED-related. Honestly, you’ll have to read it to understand it, but for me it’s really real and really relatable, and I hope it’s not too overwhelmingly dark and/or stressful.

___

Mike lays curled on her side on the floor of her childhood bedroom, staring up at the blank white walls and lamenting the fate of her old WNBA posters. She’s barely been out of the house two years, and not even permanently at that. She’s still expected to trek back to her parents’ home for holidays and summer vacations. It seems the least they can do is to leave her a tiny bit of herself in this supposedly personal space. But it would be beyond their current care factor.

Dinner had been a disaster, hence Mike’s current posture. Why aren’t you in therapy? had kicked off the conversation over appetizers, the turkey had been carved to threats to cut off the housing allowance, and mashed potatoes doled out along with explicit expectations of exactly how much of each food Mike was to eat.

“Jason didn’t get any green beans,” Mike’d pointed out. Her brother had shot her an ugly face, and their mother’d just turned to pull pies out of the oven. But then he’d made it up to her by snagging Mike’s roll off her plate when no one was looking.

Jason’s high position in Mike’s mind starts to fall, though, when he calls her name over a soft knock on her bedroom door. The knob turns and the door creaks inward, the corner of it clipping Mike’s head and adding to her physical misery. But maybe having a headache is good. It gives her a better reason to be nauseous.

“Ow. Fuck,” Mike complains, not moving from her sprawl.

“Jesus. What’re you doing?” Jason retracts the door a few inches and leans his head inside.

“Nothing. Dying.”

“Well, you better hurry up because Mom wants you to come downstairs and taste-test her cookie dough or something,” Jason says.

“Fuck.” Mike draws her legs further toward her torso, gathering static from the plush carpet. “Why can’t you do that?”

“Because she’s…being a bitch,” Jason whispers, admitting what they both know.

“It’s another fucking test,” Mike mumbles. Eggs and sausage for breakfast, grilled cheese for lunch, then stuffed dates and the whole goddamn dinner spread, cooked with butter and cream and everything rich and calorically expensive…wasn’t that enough? She knows logically the servings were reasonable, but it does nothing to suppress the reflux bubbling in her throat. She takes a deep inhalation and wills the dizzying nausea to dissipate.

“Mike?”

She lets out her breath. “Don’t fucking throw me under the bus with her.”

“What do you want me to do?” Jason asks desperately.

“Make Dad do it. Leave me alone.”

“Dad just asked me if my relationship with Colby is ‘serious,’” Jason says. “I said maybe, and I walked away. I’m not going back down there right now.” He gives an awkward nervous laugh.

Mike swallows her stomach back down to its rightful place. Guilt increases her inner turmoil; she’s currently wearing one of Colby’s festive and slightly frayed blue and green plaid shirts with light-wash skinny jeans. Light wash because they might make her bony thighs look a tad fuller. Not that they’ve done much good fooling her mother, though. “I…I can’t right now,” she says softly. “I just…can’t.”

“Hey, I’m not here to, like, torture you or anything,” Jason says, his voice caught between irritation and genuine concern. “What’s wrong? Besides mom.”

“Nothing,” Mike says. She rolls so her knees are on the ground with her torso draped over them and her forehead on the floor. She breathes down the collar of her shirt and wills the roiling of her stomach to let up.

“Yeah, right,” Jason says. He pushes the door open another few inches and squats in the doorway a foot or so from Mike’s shoulder. “I’m serious. Stop being a jerk and talk to me.”

Mike pauses for a moment. “I don’t feel good,” she whispers to her knees. She can feel the skin of her stretched stomach sitting on her denim-clad legs. Mike experimentally clenches her abdominal muscles, which makes her feel slightly less enormous, but also sends her gulping down rising bile.

“Like, really, or just…I don’t know…in your head?” Jason’s tone makes it clear it isn’t a dig. But it doesn’t do much to keep him from sounding as ill-informed as their father.

“Like I’m gonna fucking puke all over this fucking carpet,” Mike growls, shoving herself to standing and wrapping both arms around her stomach. She fights vertigo on the way up and pauses to steady herself with a shoulder pressed to the wall.

“Hey, breathe for a second, I’m sure you’ll be ok.” Jason jumps to his feet and tries to put a comforting hand on Mike’s back, but she brushes past him and steps down the hall toward the bathroom.

Mike uncoils one hand from her middle to shut the door behind her, but Jason inserts a hand to stop her. “Leave me alone,” she breathes. Disgrace foams up her throat and crumples her face.

“What are you doing?” Jason asks seriously. He locks his dark brown eyes on Mike’s greener set.

“Just…just stop,” Mike whispers.

Jason shakes his head. His arm falls to his side, and Mike presses the door closed. She turns the lock with a satisfying click.

Mike isn’t sure if she’s going to sob or retch, but she knows she needs to settle in front of the toilet. She heaves as soon as she’s down, but all that comes up is spit. Which is ridiculous, because she can feel every ounce of everything she’s eaten since dawn pressing up against the base of her throat.

The nausea makes her hairline damp, the back of her neck sticky. Mike’s hands and feet feel freezing compared to the wet heat rising from her core. She retches again in a disgusting, belchy way and watches clear snotty fluid fall into the toilet water.

“Godfuckingdamnit,” she whispers under her breath. It has to happen. It has to happen now. If Mike sits here wallowing in nausea for another minute, she’s going to die. Have a brain aneurysm and keel over on the bathroom floor because every inch of her is screaming in pain and clammy sweat.

She shoves her right sleeve up to the elbow and looks down at her trembling hand. It’s not about calories or fats or even the size of her bloated stomach. She just wants a second of relief from the horrendous feeling tearing around inside her, and she knows exactly what to do about it.

Mike jams her index finger unceremoniously down her throat. She pulls back as soon as she feels a mush of stomach contents wash over her hand. It’s thick and disgusting and hard to get up, the result of too much food and too little fluid, but she rides the next couple heaves and feels the pressure inside her lessen.

Fresh sweat of relief beads on Mike’s brow as she breaks off coughing for a moment. Then she retches again, all on her own, and the tang of cranberry sauce mixes with the sourness of stomach acid, making her wince and screw up her eyes, which are dripping hot tears down her cheekbones.

Mike tears off a ream of toilet paper and uses it to wipe her face, then to remove the gunk of mucous and vomit from her hand. She tosses it shakily into the toilet and flushes away the mess, then sits back on her heels for a second. The beginnings of dehydration have her head throbbing in time with her heartbeat, and shame ignites a blush in Mike’s ashen cheeks.

It’s not like that, Mike tells herself. She didn’t keep her hand pressed down against the back of her tongue until only yellow bile came up. She let her body do things…normal bodily functions…naturally. For the most part.

“You’re. Fine.” Mike pronounces it with as much force as she can with her hoarse and quivering vocal sound. She shoves roughly to her feet, using the edge of the countertop to hold her up under a little residual vertigo.

Mike brutally scrubs her hands with the sickeningly floral scented hand soap, then splashes cool tap water over her puffy face. Her eyes are red, but not bloodshot. It looks more like she’s just been crying. Which, to be honest, she has been. But just a little.

She breathes into a towel for a second, then unlocks the bathroom door. Mike intends to retreat back to her old bedroom, but she nearly trips over Jason, who’s sitting on the floor of the hall with his knees to his chest.

“What?” Mike snaps at him, her voice shot.

“Mike.” It’s a sad whisper.

“I threw up. So fucking what?”

“I know,” Jason says, staring at Mike’s hand, then into her face.

Mike balls her fists. “No, you don’t.”

“I…It sounds different. You have to know that. You have to know I know that.”

“You’re a fucking perv,” Mike spits. She passes Jason’s crouched form and heads for her room. “You know nothing about me.” She thinks about explaining it to the details, describing the degree of grossness until Jason’s face pales and goes green around the edges, but footsteps are coming up the stairs.

“Stay away from me,” Mike threatens. She swings open her door and slams it shut, turning the lock. She leans her head against the thin wood, feeling her eyes prickle with tears again.

“Where’s your sister?” Mike hears her mother’s voice ask.

“In her room,” Jason answers with what seems to be the verbal equivalent of a shrug. “Said her stomach hurt. Like, cramps or something.”

Mike freezes and lets out her breath in a slow, shaky gust. She hasn’t had a menstrual cycle in 18 months. She doesn’t know whether her brother’s aware of that or not, but, as she listens to her mother’s footsteps retreat back down the stairs, Mike thinks perhaps Jason does know her just the right amount.

#oc fic #ocs #my ocs #mike & co #mike deangeles #jason deangeles #family issues #thanksgiving #sickfic #angst #emeto #emetophilia #eating disoder tw #but also not really?#it's complicated

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gospacegay · 7 years

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LRTIHEW: Part Eight

The title stands for “Longest Rusame Thing I Have Ever Written”.

First Chapter: https://gospacegay.tumblr.com/post/165808913233/lrtihew-part-one

Previous Chapter: https://gospacegay.tumblr.com/post/165963359973/lrtihew-part-seven

There is swearing, fluff, eventual smut, insanity, and lord knows what else.

Visiting was fun. Ivan and Alfred fought constantly, occasionally trying to beat the shit out of each other. It was the only normal interaction they really knew. After getting kicked out of a Mexican restaurant, they decided to visit a planetarium. The evening was polished off with a movie at Alfred's house. The Russian could tell America was extremely stressed with work. The chaos caused by his boss's death was evident, phone calls constantly interrupting their day out.

As Alfred's cell phone went off yet again, he groaned. “You should not ask for my help if you can not handle the side effects, Alfred.” Ivan said knowingly, gradually getting used to human names. Alfred rolled his eyes and answered the device after pausing the action movie. It was apparently a short a conversation, with much yelling. Ivan raised his brow in questioning manner while eating popcorn.

Hanging up, Alfred glared at Ivan. Used to this, the Russian looked back with a deadpan expression. “What did you say to Kozloff? He's asking questions.” the honey blonde demanded. “If a leader does not ask questions, he is a poor choice.” Ivan countered, knowing full well what the short tempered American was talking about. If the man didn't suspect something after seeing Ivan's name listed eighty years ago in records, he was completely retarded.

“Now he's going to bug me and think I'm some magical creature or whatever.” Alfred whined. “Are we not, to humankind? We do not age, and heal in minutes.” Ivan replied, always one for playing devil's advocate. “I guess, but that's not the point –” the tanned nation's spiel was interrupted by loud knocking on the door. The two nations waited to see who would get up first. The knocking picked up again.

“You are so lazy!” Ivan hissed, standing. Answering the door, he opened it up a crack. “What?” he asked rudely, seeing an upset American president with crossed arms. He was flanked by two guards as per usual. “Who is it? Alfred yelled from the couch, too comfortable to move. “It is Mr. Kozloff and his men.” Ivan crooned. The American scrambled to rise to his feet, throwing blankets and pillows off the couch.

“Sir, this is surprise!” Alfred squeaked, aware of how compromising he may appear. His new boss already wanted to yell at him. Ivan felt a twinge of empathy, but was mostly relieved something wasn't his fault for once. Ivan gathered with a blanket, watching the brewing storm. The human leader said nothing for a moment looking around. He took in photos as far back as the American civil war, proudly displayed above the couch. The rest of the home was decorated with old bits of junk that historians would drool over. Ivan's own house was the same way, stuffed with books over a century old.

“What are you?” the president finally asked suspiciously. His two body guards were as nonchalant as ever, used to everything. “I'm your helpful assistant sir.” Alfred replied, not exactly lying. “Tell me the truth.” the man ordered. “Well... I'm the United States of America. Technically I'm a living manifestation of the country. I influence the population as much as they form me, basically.” the honey blonde attempted to explain. It was a bizarre subject to breach.

“So many long words, Alfred. I sincerely hope your tiny brain did not hurt itself.” Ivan noted sarcastically. “Shut up! I know words. Your big dinosaur brain doesn't understand my brilliance.” the American shot back. “I was told you like dinosaurs.” the Russian teased flirtatiously. He mostly didn't mean it, the gesture engineered to get under Alfred's skin.

Looking rather red, Alfred shoved him. “Fuck off. I need to talk to my boss man seriously... 'kay?” he cursed, the statement softening to a question at the end. That was about as civil as it got between them these days. Taking the hint, Ivan shrugged and stood. “I am using your kitchen, filthy American.” he replied, walking off. He ignored any further protests.

For a country with a rich agricultural past, Alfred's kitchen was sparsely stocked. The glossy white kitchen was poorly organized as well. While Ivan started moving things around, he disparaged at the sheer whiteness of the space. It reminded the ancient Russian of icy fields back home. A kitchen was the heart of the home. You needed bright colors, patterns, and fabrics. Even a big red wall mural would do over this blankness. Ivan contemplated painting a Russian eagle on the wall.

“What are you doing in there?” Alfred yelled down the hall. “I am making your kitchen more efficient, comrade.” Ivan hollered back, in a good mood. There was muffled cursing, but no true response. While sorting the half empty cupboards, the ash blonde found basic baking supplies. Humming Korobeiniki, Ivan set to work. Making something himself was the only way he was going to get a good meal.

Mixing butter, baking powder, and oil with water, the slurry was fed flour slowly. Soon it was a pale dough thick enough to knead by hand. Ivan rolled up the sleeves of his sweater and set to work. The end result wouldn't be as delicious as yeast based breads. Ivan didn't have the time or supplies for such an endeavor. Beef strips and mushrooms were fried in a pan at the same.

After roughly forty minutes of work, Ivan slid the pirozhki into the oven. Setting a timer, Ivan dug out some of Alfred's expensive rum. Grabbing several shot glasses, he returned to America's plush couch. “Are you finished explaining the obvious yet?” Ivan asked, setting up shots. He raised a tiny glass to the American president and his goons in silent offering. They all refused. The bodyguards looked at him with thinly veiled distrust.

“I'm trying man. He doesn't believe me.” Alfred complained. “This story is ridiculous, Mr. Jones.” Mr. Kozlov denied, looking frustrated. “You appear to be friends with him. Do you have a better explanation for this... joke?” the man appealed to Ivan. Russia nodded sagely, pulling a knife from under his sweater. The body guard's hands jumped to their guns but didn't draw.

Ivan rolled his eyes, cutting a thin line across his own palm. It stung fiercely despite being a shallow cut. Droplets of blood welled forth from the tiny wound. Wiping the blade clean off on his sweater, Ivan tucked it away. He then showed the palm to the American president. “Please watch Mr. Kozloff. I do not wish to repeat this act.” Ivan said sternly, expression masking pain. The human looked on with a blend of horror and curiosity. The insignificant cut healed in under a minute. Smooth pale flesh was as it always had been.

“Man, that was gross. You didn't have to cut yourself.” Alfred whined. “Would you prefer I stab you for demonstration?” Ivan threatened, taking a swig of rum. He cringed at it's sweetness. “Dude, you don't chug rum, you sip it. I thought you were civilized. Give me that.” Alfred insulted him, taking the bottle away. “If you had vodka or everclear, I wouldn't have to resort to drinking this... brown sugar water.” The older nation argued. “I'm sorry thirty nine percent isn't strong enough. I'm not a professional alcoholic like you.” Alfred retorted.

They paused their bickering to look at the president. He looked rather pale, running a hand through black hair. “You okay boss?” Alfred asked, leaning forward slightly. “You healed.” was all the man had to say. “Yes. I did.” Ivan replied casually. “Who are you?” the leader finally asked. The question Ivan had been waiting for. “I am Ivan Braginsky, formally referred to as the federal republic of Russia. I am pleased to properly introduce myself.”

“Russia is in your house? Why is he in your house? Why are you friends?” Mr. Kozlov rapid fired questions, starting to really freak out. “We aren't friends. He breaks in and uses my stuff.” Alfred protested, pouring himself a shot. “I was invited.” Ivan pointed out, munching on the long forgotten movie popcorn. “You're hiding from your dictator boss, dude.” the honey blonde countered. “Vladimir Putin is a wonderful leader that was elected fairly.” Ivan bristled possessively. “Oh my god, no one is re-elected six times, like ever.” Alfred dismissed, rolling his eyes.

The Russian huffed, but said nothing. The man-child nation before him simply didn't understand, changing leaders so fast no one knew their names. A real leader lasted for the ages, remembered for their wise choices. The American president exited abruptly, just as Ivan's pirozhki finished baking. Ivan looked at the spring world outside, watching the human retreat. “I like him.” he said with finality. “It's the accent right? It's fun. I haven't had a president with an accent in ages.” Alfred agreed, starting the movie again. Ivan chuckled, then joined his oblivious companion.

The death of president James Selkirk was swiftly forgotten in the political storm of confusion that followed. The lethargic American senate struggled to respond as the world swamped replacement president Yuri Kozlov with immense pressure to perform. He was handling the stress admirably, from what little screen time Ivan saw on the television. The ruse was going well, with the man's ex-KGB parents visiting the white house unhindered. Ivan wanted to laugh from how amazing things were going.

#rusame #lrtihew #russia #america #amerus #hetalia #story

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hellohackedtechposts · 4 years

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The 5 Best Weight Watchers Recipes Shared at Meetings The Holy Mess

Disclosure: This page may contain affiliate links. This means at no additional cost to you we may receive a commission if you purchase a product from one of our links. We only recommend products we love. Are you looking for some great Weight Watchers recipes to enjoy yummy food while you lose weight? These 5 best Weight Watchers recipes shared at meetings are guaranteed to be delicious. I got such a kick out of writing this post. As someone who has been using Weight Watchers programs on and off for the last 20 years, I love a good tried-and-true Weight Watchers recipe. WW Recipes Shared at Meetings If you’ve ever attended Weight Watchers meetings, you know how WW meetings work. While there’s some variation, each WW meeting follows the same routine… You start by standing in line to weigh in. The leader and staff are Weight Watchers members who are maintaining Life Time status. The group discusses the topic of the week, such as healthy snacks, emotional eating, and tips for tracking points. And, there’s always a recipe. I’ve attended WW meetings in a number of states (at least 4) and it never fails that there is a recipe of the week written on the paper flip chart. Before cell phones, we all quickly copied the recipe into our little notebooks. These days we all pull out our phones and snap a quick photo instead – easy. Finding Good Weight Watchers Recipes I’ve been pinning these best Weight Watchers recipes from meetings to my Weight Watchers Pinterest Board (click here to follow) because there’s something about these recipes that takes me back to all my years as a WW member. Do you have an old Weight Watchers recipe you love, or one you are trying to find? Please share in the comments below. When it comes to old WW recipes, proceed with caution! Sometimes the points listed are for previous programs and are no longer accurate for today’s program. I recalculated the Smart Points for each recipe below for WW Freestyle smart points as 1/2019, using the WW app.

The 5 Best Weight Watchers Recipes Shared at Meetings

Here are 5 of the best Weight Watchers recipes shared at meetings, plus a few bonus recipes that you will love, too. 1. Weight Watchers PB2 Smoothie/Weight Watchers Butterfinger Shake This Butterfinger shake is a delicious Weight Watchers shake/smoothie recipe. If you’ve been a WW member for long, you know we are a bit obsessed with PB2. Peanut Butter is high in points, but with PB you get the same delicious flavor for a fraction of the points. Stir it into oatmeal, swirl it into yogurt or light cool whip, or make a smoothie. PB2 Powdered Peanut Butter Bundle (2 Chocolate Peanut Butter And 1 Peanut Butter) Keep in mind that with Weight Watchers if you use fruit in a smoothie, you have to count points for blended fruit, so this recipe is nice in that you don’t have to count additional fruit points. This treat really hits the spot when you are craving something sweet. PB2 Smoothie/Weight Watchers Butterfinger Shake Ingredients 1 carton Premier Protein, chocolate 2 T PB2 1 T Sugar free butterscotch jello pudding mix Freestyle Smart Points: 4 points 2. Weight Watchers Hash Brown Potato Soup This Weight Watchers soup recipe has been floating around for years. This soup is popular with members because it’s easy and low in points. I’ve seen a number of variations for this recipe including leaving out the gravy mix and using light cream of chicken soup instead. Feel free to add chopped chicken breast to bump up the protein if you’d like. Weight Watchers Hash Brown Potato Soup Ingredients 4 cans chicken broth 1 package frozen O-Brien potatoes 1 packet country gravy mix Freestyle Smart Points: 2 points each for 8 servings 3. Weight Watchers Caramel Apple Fluff This Weight Watchers Fluff recipe has been around for a-a-ages – at least 20 years and maybe more. I’ve made this a number of times and also a variation that uses pistachio pudding, pineapple, and cool whip (no added fruit). I also make a great WW Pumpkin Fluff recipe while you can get here. All WW Fluff recipe varieties are good, but this Caramel Apple one is probably the most popular. Personally I don’t think it tastes like caramel apples because of the pineapple in it, but it is yummy. Weight Watchers Caramel Apple Fluff Ingredients 4 apples, diced 1 box sugar-free butterscotch pudding mix 1 small can of crushed pineapple 1 regular sized tub of fat free cool whip Directions: Drain pineapple slightly. Mix all ingredients and chill. Freestyle Smart Points – 1 point per cup 4. Weight Watchers Chocolate Donut Cake This recipe brings a newer ingredient to the scene, Kodiak Pancake mix. Kodiak Cakes Power Cakes: Chocolate and Crunchy Peanut Butter Combo Pack, 18 oz. each Kodiak is a high-protein pancake mix that can be used for a wide variety of baked goods like pancakes, cakes, and muffins. The protein makes this mix a bit lower in points that a typical recipe. Weight Watchers Chocolate Donut Cake Ingredients 1 cup Kodiak buttermilk or chocolate pancake mix 1/2 cup sugar free Pillsbury brownie mix 1 T cocoa, unsweetened 1/4 cup applesauce 1 T baking powder 1 cup cold water OPTIONAL frosting: 5 T cool whip free + 1 T sugar free chocolate pudding mix = 1 point Directions: Mix well. Pour into sprayed muffin or doughnut tin. Bake at 375 for 10-12 minutes. Freestyle Smart Points – 1 point per serving, 12 servings (frosting additional points) 5. Weight Watchers Soda Pop Cake Recipe This Weight Watchers soda cake was SUPER popular in the 1990s with members. We made all the varieties like angel food cake with Diet Sprite, Chocolate cake with Diet Coke, and so forth. (Note – Make sure you use DIET soda for the lighter calorie versions.) Another popular variation was 1 box angel food cake mix with 1 can light pie filling. These mixtures resulted in – what was at the time – 2 points for a hearty square of cake or a good sized cupcake. Weight Watchers members were in heaven! Sadly, this also resulted in Weight Watchers members not losing weight, so the WW powers-that-be made some changes to the program and how points are calculated. These delicious mixtures are more points these days with Freestyle, although still a lighter alternative compared to regular cake. Weight Watchers Soda Cake Ingredients 1 box of cake mix (ideally sugar free if you can find it) 1 can diet soda of choice Directions: Mix well and bake according to package instructions for a 9×13 cake or cupcakes. Freestyle Smart points – Regular Cake Mix: 8 points per serving if cut into 12 servings. 5 points per serving if cut into 18 servings Freestyle Smart Points – Sugar -Free Cake Mix: 4 points per serving if cut into 12 servings. 3 points per serving if cut into 18 servings. Weight Watchers Bananabonzo Bread – Proceed with Caution I first discovered this recipe for Bananabonzo (aka Banana Bread + Garbanzo beans) on Pinterest. I really, really wanted to like this recipe. But…I did not like it. At all. I tried this recipe 4 different times with various tweaks of the recipe each time. (As I said, I really wanted to like it.) I ended up throwing away every single loaf, and there is very little I can’t eat. I share the recipe here because it continues to be popular among WW members, so if one of you can explain how to make this tasty, I’m all ears. In the meantime, I recommend this Zero Point Banana Souffle instead, which is also zero points and I promise is quite yummy. Bananabonzo Bread Ingredients 2 cups garbanzo beans (Note: this is NOT the same as 1 can.) Drained and rinsed very well. 3 ripe bananas 4 eggs 1 T baking powder 1 tsp vanilla 1 tsp cinnamon Directions: Process all ingredients in blender or food processor. Pour into sprayed loaf pan. Bake at 400 for 40 minutes. Freestyle Smart Points: Zero Points

MORE of the Best Weight Watchers Recipes from Meetings

Here are some more delicious Weight Watchers recipes I’ve created on The Holy Mess website based on recipes I discovered at meetings: Weight Watchers Pumpkin Fluff – A pumpkin version of the Caramel Apple Fluff above, my family requests this every Thanksgiving. Weight Watchers Crustless Pumpkin Pie – Just 3 points for the whole pie! Zero Point Banana Souffle – A wonderful breakfast, snack, or post-workout reat. Zero Point Turkey Chili – This classic recipe is one I make for my lunches over and over again. Zero Point Vegetable Soup – This old Weight Watchers cabbage soup recipe has stood the test of time. Delicious and very low calorie. 2 Ingredient Dough – This amazing dough can be made into bagels, rolls, pizza crust, and even cinnamon rolls! Pin These Best Weight Watchers Recipes for Later Free Weight Watchers Hacks! Lose weight faster! *Low point snacks & recipes to keep you full and satisfied. *The best foods to eat when you are following the WW program. *Tips & insider tricks to make following the Weight Watchers program easier and more enjoyable. Success! Now check your email to confirm & download your FREE Weight Watchers Life Hacks report. Read the full article

#Food

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onestowatch · 5 years

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Wallows Talks “Overnight” Success, Staying True To Yourself, & Outer Space Aspirations [Q&A]

Photo: Jimmy Fontaine

Wallows is a band that has been a decade in the making. Comprised of Braeden Lemasters, Dylan Minnette, and Cole Preston, the Los Angeles-based trio has been playing in bands together since they were 11, and maybe that begins to explain why Wallows’ sound comes off as remarkably concise and striking only one EP in. It can be heard throughout their succinct debut EP, Spring, which only left us clamoring for the band’s highly-anticipated full-length follow-up. An EP, mind you, that Wallows somehow found time to release and tour with, despite both Lemasters and Minnette being quite busy acting -- the latter you may recognize as the star of Netflix’s 13 Reasons Why.

Following a slew of sold out shows, a remarkable debut EP, an appearance at Tyler the Creator’s Camp Flog Gnaw Carnival, 2019 is looking to be even bigger for Wallows. Don’t believe us? Well, feel free to dispute our claims while we’re busy moshing at the band’s upcoming Coachella set. Ahead of what is bound to be Wallows’ breakout year, we caught up with the band to talk about how they got where they are today, what is to come, and an extreme fear of condiments.

OTW: So the three of you have been friends for awhile, going through band names, sounds, etc -- can you walk us through that?

Braeden: Yes. So we’ve been playing together for almost ten years now, and me and Dylan met through an acting thing.

OTW: How old are you?

Braeden: I’m 22.

OTW: So literally half your life!

Braeden: So, half my life, yeah. I was like 10 when we met and then 12, 13, when we started playing together. Me and Dylan knew each other for awhile and then we met Cole, and then we started a band, and then we did classic rock covers and started writing classic rock originals, and then we just kind of progressed. Then, overnight.... just kidding [laughs]

We started playing under another name, and Wallows formed like a year ago and then overnight... [laughs] So sorry, but yeah, then we started playing and now we’re at Camp Flognaw! We’re stoked.

OTW: Okay, other than the overnight success, to what would you attribute your success?

Dylan: I think when we first dropped “Pleaser” and changed our name on all Instagram accounts -- that was the first, “We’re doing this, we’re doing something.”

Cole: It was a band name that we were actually proud of for once. We had extremely tragic names growing up.

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OTW: Can we go through those?

Cole: Oh yes.

Breaden: Name number one: The Fever.

Dylan: With an ‘A’.

Braedan: F-E-A-V-E-R.

Dylan: Feaver like beaver. Next was the Narwalls, so that’s hilarious. So yeah, then Wallows happened one day.

OTW: How?

Braedan: So, the story behind the name is, I grew up playing Tony’s Hawk’s Underground, and there’s a spot in the game called “Wallows,” and that’s actually a spot in Hawaii, and it’s a skating spot. So, I grew up loving that name, told the guys about it, we wanted to call an album Wallows one day, and then we were talking about band names. And there it was.

OTW: How do each of your individual tastes in music contribute to the sound?

Cole: I feel like since we grew up playing in the band and like sharing music with each other, our tastes kind of just like met somewhere when we were really young, and it’s just kind of the same. You know what I mean? I feel like we all have a very similar taste in music now, but it’s very broad-ranging.

Braeden: I think what really helps, is if one of us comes up with an idea, we all kind of play everything like we can -- drums, guitar, like we can make a song on our own if we wanted too. I think that’s where it comes to the table, like if Cole has an idea or I have an idea, we just go, “Oh can you make this idea how you think it should be?” And then he just made a whole version of it, so I can hear a different perspective on a song that I came up with. So that kind of helps broaden the creative process; there’s not like one main songwriter just doing it. That’s how we help each other because we all bring something different to the table, in terms of what we’ll come up with.

OTW: Name one thing about another band member that no one knows.

Braeden: Oh, I think I had one of these. Cole’s worst nightmare is eating condiments on their own. Like a spoonful of mayo [laughs].

OTW: So you actively think about this?

Cole: Yeah, yeah. It freaks me out. Like I’ll go to In N Out and get the ketchup things. I do enjoy like ketchup and mayo and things like that, but like just the idea that Costco-size condiments exists just makes me.. ugh, it’s so bad! [laughs]

Braeden: I love it!

Cole: You guys could both drink honey mustard.

Dylan: Oh yeah, forsure.

Braeden: I’d say the fun fact about Dylan is... I know so many of them.

**OTW: Name all of them. **

Braeden: He loves Gang Beats, a game on PS4.

Dylan: You love it just as much.

Braeden: I do love it just as much.

Cole: I think we all do.

Braeden: Dylan also loves movies. His favorite movie is Pulp Fiction, I think.

Dylan: One of them. Or The Iron Giant.

Braeden: Pulp Giant.

Dylan: The Iron Pulp [laughs].

Cole: I feel like Braeden is very candid. I don’t know if anyone doesn’t know anything.

Braeden: I’ll say something about myself [laughs]. Every night I go to bed eating Cheerios with a scoop of peanut butter on the spoon, so you eat the Cheerios with the peanut butter on the spoon.

OTW: Oh! Honey Nut or regular?

Braeden: Regular. And then I put almond coconut whipped cream on it, and then I put cinnamon all over it topped with almond milk. Every night for the last two months I’ve been eating that.

OTW: Can we get a picture for the interview?

Cole: That’s our album cover, actually [laughs].

OTW: Great, great. So, let’s talk about music. Spring was your debut, right?

Dylan: Debut EP, yes! But there’s an album that’s coming.

Braeden: It’s going to exist soon. Yes, which is crazy.

OTW: What can we know?

Dylan: It’s a 2019 release.

Cole: It’s technically complete.

Braeden: It was produced by John Congleton, who’s the dude who did the Spring EP.

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OTW: Legend!

Braeden: Yes, St. Vincent, Alvvays, a bunch of amazing artists.

Dylan: Yeah, he’s great, I love John. I don’t know what else to say about it. I don’t want to give away too much.

Braeden: There’s a feature... we won’t say who.

Dylan: There may or may not be a feature.

OTW: Any hints?

Dylan: No, we can’t give any hints. [laughs]

OTW: Okay, so 2019, no date. Is there a name?

Braeden: There is a title, but we can’t say.

Cole: All will be revealed, all will make sense later.

OTW: Fine! So, who are your Ones To Watch?

Dylan: Rex. He’s not really up and coming but Rex Orange County.

Cole: This band called Joy Again, super amazing. Slow Hollows; they’re really amazing. There’s this band called Moma, that I really like. They’re a good band.

All: Guny, The Regrettes, The Marias, uh, Tyler, The Creator. That’s up and coming. [laughs]

Dylan: Kanye.

Braeden: Post Malone [laughs].

OTW: As a band do you have an ultimate idea of success?

Braeden: My main thing -- I would just love to have a stack of albums one day, that I’m just really proud of. Like I could just flip through them and just be like, “I love all of these, and hopefully people did as well.” That’s my personal goal. I think just working with as many artists as we can. Try to collab and make music with other people would be a fun goal. I don’t know, start dressing cooler. [laughs]

Dylan: Honestly, I would love to work with Post Malone. That’d be insane.

Braeden: Beyonce.

Dylan: That would be way too next level.

Braeden: And Frank Ocean.

OTW: Last question -- as a band, is there any message you would send to the youth culture of today?

Braeden: Yeah, my advice as a lot of crazy things are happening with social media in this day and age, is just be yourself and try not to get in your head because so many people can just give you so much information about yourself, and they don’t like you on Instagram. Be yourself and try your best, and just stay positive and have a good time because everyone is so unique. You know what I mean? We’re all so different.

Cole: Yeah, just don’t be afraid to be yourself because what’s the worst that could happen? Surround yourself with people that allow you to be comfortable and that make you feel better about yourself. You know what I mean?

Dylan: Just be happy. If you’re happy, that’s all that matters.

Braeden: And if you’re unhappy, that’s cool too, you can always get happy.

OTW: Anything else you guys want to talk about that’s coming up?

Dylan: There will be a tour. Another big tour, bigger than before. After the album.

Cole: You should come out to the next tour because it will be very different from the last one, for sure.

Braeden: We’re going to be the first band in space.

Cole: First and last band in space.

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#wallows #interview #the regrettes #alternative #indie #slow hollows #camp flog gnaw

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geekprincess26 · 7 years

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Two Hearts: Chapter 1

Written for Day 5 of Jon x Sansa Fanfiction’s 15 Days of Valentine’s challenge.

Also, I should add that this fic is different from @nevercomingdown‘s lovely story “Unintended,” which was posted before mine and written for the same challenge. When I realized we’d independently written stories based on the same concept, I let her know, and she graciously allowed my fic to share the spotlight with her (superior) one. Please make sure to check out “Unintended” if you haven’t already!

Sansa was at the theater with Jeyne Poole when it happened.

One moment, she was watching Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi swing their lightsabers at each other’s heads. The next, her own head was exploding with pain, and explosions of light shattered her vision behind her eyelids.

She was aware that she had buried her head in her elbows and thrown her hands to the back of her neck in a vain attempt to stop the pain and the lights and the overwhelming urge to vomit. She was not aware that she had fallen out of her chair and collapsed on the floor, or that she was covered in the buttered popcorn she’d been holding in her lap, or that Jeyne was frantically shaking her by the shoulders and screaming for somebody to call 911. She could not even feel it when the man from three seats over picked her up and carried her out of the room while the woman next to him wrapped one arm around the shoulders of a shaking Jeyne and used the other to hold her cell phone. All she knew was that the pain had spread to her neck and shoulders, and that her left arm and leg were throbbing as though broken several times over.

The first thing of which she became aware after the waves of pain began to subside was that she was vomiting all over the floor of the lobby. Then she felt someone’s hand on her back and her hair being swept behind her head and Jeyne’s shaky voice calling her name. Sansa reached out and grabbed her friend’s arm with all of her might. She barely registered the other girl’s squeal of pain.

“Robb,” she gasped. “Robb’s in trouble. It’s Robb, not me. Jeyne, call Mom and Dad!”

She grabbed the other girl’s arm, and Jeyne’s face turned as white as Sansa’s. Her hands shook violently as she reached into her purse for her phone. Sansa released the other girl’s arm and flopped onto her back again. She felt the cold metal of one of the lobby benches behind her head and blinked as several strange faces popped into view. Almost as many voices spoke around her. At first she only heard vague undulations, but gradually the higher voices separated from the lower ones, the male voices from the female, the confused from the alarmed. One of them, a deep, booming male voice, rose above the others, and Sansa was able to make out the words, which formed an order to everybody to get back and “let the girl breathe.”

The voices began to recede, and Sansa could hear Jeyne again. The pain in her head receded just enough for her to make out the other girl’s words.

“Mr. Stark’s still checking…? OK… No? … Oh, here they – Mrs. Stark, the EMTs are here now for Sansa… Yes, she’s awake… He’s still trying? It’s still going to voicemail?”

Jeyne’s voice rose higher the longer she spoke, becoming so shrill at the end that the throbbing in Sansa’s head, which had begun to recede, came roaring back, along with the dread that had arisen in the pit of Sansa’s stomach when she had first gotten the headache. Sansa covered her ears and tried to breathe. One in. One out, sounded the familiar mantra in her head, a mantra that had gotten her through several similar attacks throughout her childhood. Two in. Two out. Three in. Three out –

Sansa felt a tap on her arm and bolted upright, dropping her hands from her ears as she did so. She opened her eyes to see the concerned face of a middle-aged woman in a white shirt right in front of her own. She hastily scooted backward along the bench, but her hands, propped up behind her, ran out of room into empty air, and she would have tumbled onto the floor but for a strong pair of arms that stopped her and held her in place.

“Sansa!” Jeyne shrieked, and Sansa slowly turned to see the other girl huddled next to the woman in the white shirt. “Sansa! Can you hear me?”

Sansa blinked and swung her legs off the bench with a moan. A second pair of arms reached out to steady her, and Sansa realized they belonged to the woman.

“Sansa?” The woman’s voice, while concerned, was much calmer than Jeyne’s. “Can you hear me?”

Sansa nodded slowly so as not to bring back the worst of the headache, which was receding again. “I’m fine,” she said. “It’s my brother. He’s hurt – ”

“Her brother, Robb Stark,” explained Jeyne. Both the woman and a young man next to her, who was wearing an identical white shirt and must have owned the pair of arms that had kept Sansa from tumbling off the bench, looked around them as though expecting to see Robb collapsed onto the theater’s floor somewhere.

“No, not here,” Jeyne continued. Her voice had lowered considerably, although it was shaking. “She can feel it when he gets hurt badly, even if it’s miles away. She’s done it before. They’re twins,” she finished by way of explanation. Both strangers – paramedics, Sansa corrected herself – both still looked confused, but after a moment, they snapped into action. The man put a blood pressure cuff on her right arm, and the woman grabbed her left wrist and put a gentle finger to the inside of it.

Sansa sighed through gritted teeth. “I’m fine,” she said, and turned to Jeyne. “Jeyne, did my mom – ”

Jeyne shook her head. “She and your dad are trying to find him now,” she said. “His phone kept going to voicemail when your dad called it, so they’re trying his friends now.” She blinked as though Sansa’s headache had somehow transplanted itself into her own cranium. “Sansa, where this time? Just his head?”

Sansa shook her head. “Neck,” she replied. “Left side. His whole left side – his arm and leg and probably his ribs too.” She blinked, and suddenly a flood of tears crowded behind her eyelids. Two of them hit her cheeks before she could stop them.

“Sansa.” The female paramedic’s voice forced her to open her eyes. “Honey, your blood pressure’s 160 over 123. Your pulse is over 100. You should be seen by a doctor. We’re going to get you a stretcher, OK?”

Sansa stared blankly at her. The woman began to explain everything again, but Sansa shook her head.

“I’ll be fine,” she protested again. “It’s my brother – ”

“We’ll radio dispatch on our way in to see if they’ve got reports of any incidents involving someone matching his description,” she said. “What does he look like, dear?”

A sudden burst of pain tore through Sansa’s left leg. Two more tears leaked from her eyes, and then the dam burst and her face was wet all over.

“Nineteen years old,” she gasped. “Six foot one. Auburn hair. Blue eyes. Freckles – but just on his left cheek, not on his right – ”

Her voice gave out, and the sobs overtook her. After that, everything around her became a blur.

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

Sansa awoke to see her mother’s face, instead of the female paramedic’s, hovering over her own.

“Oh, Sansa,” sighed Catelyn Stark. Her eyes were as red as Sansa’s felt, and her face littered with the marks of barely dried tears. “My Sansa. How are you feeling, my love?”

The sick feeling returned to Sansa’s stomach at once. Her mother only used the endearment “my love” when she was extremely worried. Sansa gritted her teeth to bite back the vomit. It was then that she realized the pain throughout the rest of her body had largely subsided.

“He’s feeling better, Mom,” she said. She reached down to plant her elbows into the bed on which she was lying so she could prop herself up, but her right arm was thwarted by a plastic IV line stuck into the back of her hand.

“They gave you Ativan, honey,” Catelyn told her, but Sansa did not care.

“Robb’s feeling better, Mom,” she repeated. “Did you find him? Did Dad – ”

Catelyn Stark’s face, already lighter than its normal porcelain tone under the glare of the fluorescent bulbs lining the ceiling above Sansa’s head, turned pure white.

“He was in a car accident, sweetie,” she said. Sansa, whom her mother had last called “sweetie” when she had been twelve years old and sick with the chicken pox, felt the ugly dread from before claw back into her gut with full force.

“But he’s not in as much pain – ” she said weakly. The look on her mother’s face stopped her.

“They induced a coma, honey.” Catelyn Stark’s voice barely rose above a whisper. “His brain was swelling too badly. They couldn’t stop it.” She swallowed, and as she opened her mouth to continue, Sansa thought that her mother looked at least twenty years more than her actual age. She clutched instinctively at her chest.

“But his heart’s beating, Mom,” she protested. “His heart’s fine, so – ”

Catelyn Stark shook her head. “The life-support unit is keeping it that way, sweetheart,” she replied, “so that it can – it can be donated. He’s brain dead.” She closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose, but one of the tears she was trying to stave off escaped. It ran down her cheek like a bolt of lightning in the glare of the fluorescent bulbs embedded into the room’s ceiling.

Sansa’s voice returned with her mother’s tears. At first she thought her mother was screaming in anguish, but after several moments she realized that Catelyn Stark’s lips were forming her daughter’s name, not the words no and Robb repeated in shrieks that bounced off of the walls. Then she felt arms and hands all over her, holding her down, and she tried to fight them off, but there were too many of them. The last thing she felt before darkness claimed her again was a stream of cool liquid seeping into her right arm.

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

A smart knock sounded on the door of the hospital room.

“Come in,” called the woman, putting down her battered iPhone 4S. She shook her head at her own absent-mindedness. Whoever had knocked would come in whether or not she liked it.

A middle-aged man wearing a white coat and a kindly face stepped into the room and held out his hand. “Hello, Lyanna,” he said by way of greeting.

She rose from the chair parked at her son’s bedside and held out her right hand to shake his, but her left hand retained its hold on Jon’s.

“Dr. Mormont,” she said, and despite how many times he’d crushed it, the bloom of hope overwhelmed her chest again. This time, though, instead of shaking his head, he smiled and pulled the other chair from the opposite side of Jon’s bed to sit within feet of her own.

“Would you like to sit, please?” he said, and the woman complied. He would not, after all, say anything until she had.

“Please – ” she began. The doctor’s smile expanded.

“A matching heart has been found for Jon,” he said, and Lyanna, although she had spent two horrible years swearing she would not do it, burst into tears.

Sorry I only had time to post the one chapter for the theme day, folks! I’m planning to write and upload the remaining chapters after the end of the challenge. :-)

#jon x sansa #jonxsansaff #jonxsansaff valentines #my writing #multi-chapter fics #fic: two hearts #jon snow #sansa stark #robb stark #sobfest #modern au

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connorrenwick · 5 years

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Binu Binu’s Soaps Combine Korean Bathhouse Culture with Modern Design

The following post is brought to you by Squarespace. Our partners are hand picked by the Design Milk team because they represent the best in design.

In a day and age when looking after one’s mind and body is the ultimate in self care, Binu Binu is a brand of modern soaps inspired by the age old ritual of the Korean public bath. Like the spaces themselves, these soaps are based on the idea of daily ritual, intergenerational bonding, and the infamous Korean scrub treatment “Seshin,” an incredibly vigorous exfoliating treatment found at the baths. “Binu” means soap in Korean, and was chosen for its simplicity as well as the fact that it’s not an immediately recognizable word or associated with anything in the English language.

Binu Binu founder Karen Kim used Squarespace when launching their website to help create a beautiful online presence right from the start. The clean lines of their templates were in line with the brand she was beginning to form, and the other services the all-in-one platform offers would help build her business as it grew. We talked to her about Squarespace, Korean bathhouse culture, and why you might want to pick up one of their Scrub Towels!

Photo by Binu Binu

Up until starting Binu Binu, Kim had been working in New York’s fashion industry with a focus on product development, editorial, and buying. Doing so gave her the opportunity to come to know so many brands and designers with fascinating stories who had created their own creative worlds, and it got her thinking.

“I got to the point where I just felt that it was the right time to create my own products and put them out there, as a way to share my vision with others. I think I always had an obsession with soap. One of my earliest childhood memories is of being scrubbed to the bone by my grandmother, watching what I thought were bruises disappear with just a bar of soap and determination. I thought it was magic.” she said.

Photo by Vera Mishurina

“Later on, on a trip to Korea with my mother and aunts, we would visit the public bathhouses every day and I loved how it was contrary to North American spa culture – which seems focused on the self and the idea of luxury. The Korean bathhouse (“jjimjilbang”) was more about a communal, everyday wellness ritual that was social, intergenerational, and seemed to lack vanity and self-consciousness. I found that to be so refreshing and wanted to bring some of that mood to Binu Binu. To me, a bar of soap represents something universal, ancient, with the simple aim of becoming clean. So Binu Binu was born from the idea of a simplified soap and water routine (the opposite of the complicated 10-step skincare routines popular in K-beauty brands) as well as a celebration of Korean bathhouse culture,” Kim explained.

Photo by Lauren Shooster

Once she decided to follow her passion for soap and culture, Kim dove right into the process of figuring out just what she wanted Binu Binu’s soaps to represent.

“Each soap starts with a story, and the formulation and ingredients flow from there. A lot of the inspiration for the collection comes from strong female role models in Korean culture. For example, the Haenyeo Sea Women are sea divers on Jeju Island who dive tank-free for the catch of the day. Many are in their 60s, 70s, and 80s, and are still out there every day in the icy cold water. Because seafood is such a large part of the economy, Jeju is a matriarchal society led by these incredible women. Our Haenyeo Sea Woman Soap, an homage to these women, has sea salt, seaweed extract, refreshing peppermint essential oil and is a bluish grey color, like the water,” she shared.

Photo by Vera Mishurina

“While doing a deep dive into the history of Korean cleansing and purification rituals, I learned about Shamans in Korea, women who perform purification rituals to cleanse the mind and body prior to conducting ceremonies to heal you of whatever ails you. It’s a practice that persists even today. So we developed a Shaman Black Charcoal Soap, inspired by the use of charcoal in these purification ceremonies. It’s our most popular soap,” Kim said.

Photo by Lloyd Stevie \\\ Styling by Lauren Shooster

Kim makes all of the various soaps by hand in their Toronto studio using the cold press method, which involves combining lye with oils and letting the mixture harden and cure for four to six weeks, to best retain natural oils known to benefit skin. The base of every batch contains “boricha,” the well-known Korean roasted barley tea. Every 100% natural bar is fragrance-free and does not contain palm oils, synthetic detergents, artificial colorants, parabens, sulfates, or animal products. So you know this is a product you can feel good about purchasing and using in a multitude of ways.

Photo by Vera Mishurina

Of course Kim uses her own soaps, and has the other soap-related wares Binu Binu offers in her bathroom. Each product has been thoughtfully designed and put to the test to be both a functional and beautiful addition to your bathing space.

“I like to cycle through various soaps, whatever I’m in the mood for – lately it’s been our new Creamy Clay Complexion Soap. I absolutely love using clay in soap, as I find it adds a really nice richness to the lather as well as adding a beautiful color. The Hibiscus Clay Facial Soap is always a perennial favorite, since my skin can be somewhat dry the extra shea butter makes this really gentle and moisturizing,” she says of her favorites.

Photo by Vera Mishurina

Of her other go-tos, Kim said, “My other must-have is our Seshin Korean Scrub Mitt and Towel. I love to exfoliate and this is just such a satisfying way to do it, where the results are immediate. A Korean scrub at the jjimjilbang is an amazing eye-opening experience. You leave feeling cleaner-than-clean and wondering how you could have ever walked around with so much extra baggage, so to speak. I became obsessed with the little cheap and cheerful neon-colored striped scrub mitts they use, so I designed an elevated, neutral-toned version for the line so you can scrub at home in the bath or shower. The towel version is to reach your back if you don’t always have a friend present to scrub it for you.”

Photo by Lauren Shooster

When Binu Binu’s soaps are paired with their Marble Soap Dishes you can see just how well both complement one another. To create them Kim works closely with artisans who specialize in marble bath wares – everything from sinks to counters to full-on marble free-standing bath tubs. Together they design and develop the dishes, selecting the various stone varieties for each batch as they go.

“I love the combo of our Marble Soap Dishes with our soaps. Working with natural stones is endlessly fascinating, because each piece is truly unique and beautiful. The ones with swirl patterns that speak to me make their way into my own personal collection. I’m partial to the Blue Marble, a glossy teal with white and sepia tones that looks like the Earth from space, and the Green Onyx, which is translucent and almost ethereal – like it glows from within.”

Photo by Vera Mishurina

You can’t help but be struck by each bar’s gorgeous angles and almost monumental aesthetic. It turns out that their sculptural qualities are just what drew Kim specifically to bar soaps in the first place.

She said, “I knew that I wanted to create a shape that was pared down, with clean edges and no extraneous details, but also something archetypal and iconic that wasn’t commonplace. Our bars can stand upright like a column, and can also fit perfectly in the hand. By shifting from a more ubiquitous flat rectangle to a monolithic shape, it turns an everyday object into a little sculptural object for the bathroom.”

Photo by Lloyd Stevie \\\ Styling by Lauren Shooster

We’re crazy about everything Binu Binu creates, so we asked Kim what’s on the horizon for the brand in the foreseeable future and what she’s most excited about.

She answered, “So many new things! One that we are most excited about is our biodegradable soap case for travel. It’s inspired by vintage designer soap cases, but modernized – definitely not something you would find in a drug store aisle. I think being able to simplify a toiletry bag is important. Instead of traveling with a million little bottles, you can pack a beautiful, discreet case (bonus: since the soap is solid, it’s TSA approved). It launches in October, just in time for the busy holiday travel season. Moving forward further into the future, our focus is on gradually building a world of modern bathhouse-inspired products that are also beautiful objects in and of themselves.”

Photo by Lloyd Stevie \\\ Styling by Lauren Shooster

Like many first-time business owners, Kim was less intimidated by Squarespace than other available options, which was a main factor in choosing them for Binu Binu’s website. Their abilities matched well with her burgeoning brand’s needs and left room to grow as a business, even offering tools that might help along the way.

“When I first started my business, I was drawn to Squarespace because it enabled me to effortlessly create an e-commerce site that was simple, yet considered design and functionality. I found that I could customize as I go, which is important to any new business as its needs change. At first we started with the Galapagos template, and now we use the Pedro template. I appreciate the flexibility, ease, and clean design principles that Squarespace keeps in mind.”

Ready to get to work on your own site? Take the first step with a Squarespace website. Use coupon code DESIGNMILK at checkout to get 10% off your first purchase.

via http://design-milk.com/

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randomaccesslegacy-blog · 5 years

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These 4 honey face mask recipes use different added components, based on your skin form. They may be all designed with meals-based ingredients which are probably in your kitchen area today. Uncomplicated and practical! The ideal way to get the demanded nutritional vitamins and nutrients you would like for any radiant complexion is feeding on a healthful, well balanced diet program. (ii) Use grape seed extract topically to take care of your deep facial wrinkles. You should purchase grape seed extract from well being meals store. @haso: Lemon juice is an efficient way to deal with melasma. Its acidic mother nature and vitamin C part improve the discolorations and peel off the outer layer on the skin. Use the juice within the affected locations, frivolously massage to get a handful of seconds, leaving it on for 10 minutes. I may even convey to the difference between Uncooked honey manufacturers I take advantage of for my honey mask. A high quality regional raw honey designed my skin glow in a means I didn’t observe with the other Uncooked honey I tried. You will discover a fantastic source of high quality Uncooked honey Below. By combining bananas with other components crammed with powerful nutrients, we could make face masks that serve many reasons. We're going to take a look at banana face masks that struggle wrinkles, banishing acne, Command oil, lighten skin, and a lot more. Packed with citric acid, lightens dark skin and evens out discoloration. Diminishes dim spots and pimples blemishes. My skin is mixture of each, too much oil often on my forehead. I tired applying medicated soaps ( I utilised med soap acne, salic lac foam and so forth) now I ended employing each one of these. Please counsel some fantastic face packs in order to avoid oil on my forehead and compact acne on my forehead. Hope you all are in the pink of one's wellness and savoring this attractive spring period. Nowadays early morning, I had orange marmalade and orange sandwich…oops veg sandwich in my breakfast. Egg whites assistance tighten skin, generating them a powerful property remedy for minimizing visual appearance of crow’s-feet less than and around eyes. wikiHow is usually a wiki similar to Wikipedia, which implies that lots of of our articles are composed collaboratively. To generate this short article, eighty four folks, some anonymous, worked to edit and make improvements to it after a while. Groups: Egg Face Masks (i) While implementing a organic face mask such as this, help it become sure to stand in excess of your sink or in rest room to prevent slippage on the floor. I washed it off immediately and dint Permit the banana operate its magic. What might be the issue ? Thanks Elizabeth is the founder and inventive director in the Nourished Existence. Her mission is to help people today discover a much more well balanced (less stress filled!) approach to living a happy, balanced daily life. Browse more details on Elizabeth below.

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Add the honey for the egg white and lemon juice, and blend almost everything once more. You will need ½ tablespoon of honey. Make sure that it's the translucent, runny form. Honey is antibacterial and functions as being a purely natural antiseptic. It is also moisturizing and assists replenish the skin.[ https://www.wikihow.com/Take-Care-of-Your-Skin ] You are able to but it really's advisable which you utilize a darkly coloured glass bottle, not plastic, for purity. Undoubtedly use inside a few days because the oil Houses will lessen with time and heat. what an incredible tip, thank you Susan! And thanks Kelly for the recipe, can’t hold out to try it! Just obtained into oil cleaning so nearly anything oil on my face super enthusiast of. Not if done correctly. You shouldn't place a lot of on your face that it drips. Having said that, it is better to help keep a napkin beneath your face in the event that it does. • Get ready an exfoliating face mask in your own home by Mixing an egg white, two tablespoons of non-Excess fat milk powder, a person tablespoon of oatmeal, and 50 % a cup of orange juice. Turmeric not merely helps take care of acne, however it could also take in extra oil out of your skin and lighten discoloration. When making use of the combination, function upwards from your chin to the cheeks after which for your forehead working with a delicate circular movement. Clean your face with a gentle cleanser. Use a gentle cleanser to wash your face with lukewarm water, then pat your face dry having a clear, dry washcloth. Clean face with Mild cleanser and pat dry. Use lukewarm drinking water and gently massage your face when you wash it. You should definitely rinse it perfectly. Be gentle as you pat your face dry so as to not irritate your skin. On this certain face mask, we're going to about to include other wrinkle-busting ingredients too to variety a strong combination. Masks are a well-recognized and vivid factor in several folk and traditional pageants, ceremonies, rituals, and festivals, and are sometimes of an historical origin. The mask is Usually a Section of a costume that adorns the whole system and embodies a custom important to the spiritual and/or social lifetime of the Group as whole or a particular team within the community. Masks are made use of Just about universally and keep their electricity and thriller the two for his or her wearers and their viewers. Clean your face with a mild cleaning soap and pat it dry which has a smooth towel. Applying thoroughly clean fingers, rub the mask into your face. Utilize the mask in a rather thick layer and hold it on for 10 to quarter-hour in order that it could possibly soak in. Utilize a ripe avocado so that it's much easier to mash it right into a lump-cost-free paste. You may also freeze, then thaw it ahead of mashing to generate factors simpler. If you have a blender, use it rather than a fork to immediately and successfully Mix the avocado into a lump-cost-free puree. I must try this. You've got discussed what Just about every on the involved ingredient does And that i am persuaded. Perhaps, I can use lime in place of lemon as there are lots of limes the place we at the moment are.

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Dermatologists appreciate baking soda as it’s equally anti-inflammatory and antibacterial. Blend it with exfoliating lemon juice and calming honey and you've got a mild but successful mask to help protect against acne. This mask really should not be employed on currently dry skins, and it can be a good idea to consult with a health care provider prior to utilizing this mask. Thanks Martha & Of course I totally concur along with you..Sometimes It can be greater to utilize the regular kitchen solutions for skin care than significant-stop skin care products. This support enables you to join or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, to be able to receive cash from ads with your article content. No data is shared Except if you engage with this particular function. (Privateness Plan) Warning: Prolonged utilization of aspirin or major doses need to be averted, as it might leave the skin excessively dry and ensure it is glimpse yellow. Aspirin does not accommodate all skins, which also needs to be carefully thought of When selecting which face mask to make use of. Coffee and cocoa face masks have prolonged been a favorite of splendor aficionados. As a combination, they decrease puffiness while in the face as well as the eye spot, brighten skin and wake up a uninteresting complexion (good day caffeine!). This facial mask recipe operates great it does not matter your skin type. Not surprisingly, there'll be no Uncomfortable side effects however the effort you set in to the making and persistence may well go in fail. So when it is with regard to the Do it yourself face masks you need to be pretty precise of the proportions. Honey face masks can help you fade acne scars and in many cases out skin discolouration, giving your bright and toned skin. I operate with a girl that's in her sixty's. She came in glowing just one early morning just last 7 days, she appeared more youthful and refreshed. She advised me about this. She says it will eventually have a year off of you. So Will not chuckle right until you try it.... This pimple-combating face mask has a few powerhouse components which you can discover in each kitchen area. It’s simple for making and super reasonably priced; you merely can’t manage to overlook the many Rewards! How usually ought to i use this mask, i meant the 1st mask and might i make use of a toner on my face following employing the primary mask. Yogurt can be utilized on any type of skin but Specially on mature skin thanks to its substantial lactic acid content. Other Positive aspects that Yogurt delivers to your complexion involves: This mask is somewhat sticky and is usually a soreness to have off. Only, use lukewarm h2o and Carefully scrub your face until finally it starts easily coming off. Then you can use cold water to wipe off the rest. As portion if my "nighttime regime", I use the Comprised of Earth Sea Kelp Clay Mask - I actually Allow it sit around the skin, after it dries, for approximately 10 minutes then I rinse it off with warm drinking water! And It will come off easily and the outcome are promptly observed. This mask has worked miracles for my skin!

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Avocado has very good dampness in it and it hydrates the skin which makes it supple and gentle. Banana is useful in opposition to inflammation and skin cracks. Take into consideration subsequent up with a few moisturizer. The lemon During this mask could be a tiny drying to your skin. If you discover that the face is somewhat dry, use some moisturizer to your face. In short, you don't need to use brand-new coffee beans. https://steptoremedies.com/benefits-aloe-vera-face-overnight/ is certainly a terrific way to reuse, recycle and also have a far more sustainable coffee routine. eyerid serum is ideal cures for make skin glowing and gentle i am also making use of that very same solution have confidence in me in one particular week i bought awesome consequence. Independent the egg. Crack an egg more than a bowl, and transfer the yolk from shell to shell. Every time you transfer the yolk, a small amount of the egg white ought to movement into the bowl. Retain doing this until eventually the entire egg white is while in the bowl. "My face may be very oily and I have blackheads on my nose and chin. This labored very well, I'll be working with it twice every week To any extent further."..." extra AO Afi Owusu @Anne Harrison: Hello there and welcome! Whey drinking water is not merely excellent for skin, but also for hair! It softens skin and leaves it hunting smoother and much healthier. Whey h2o also is made up of Dwell cultures of helpful microbes which can help equilibrium skin's pH far too. • Just take fifty percent a banana, mash it in a very bowl with the help of the fork or spoon, and mix one particular tablespoon Just about every of orange juice and honey in it. Utilize https://www.wikihow.com/Have-a-Good-Face-Care-Routine made beauty recipe for quarter-hour and then wash it off with lukewarm drinking water. It’s vital that you be Light so you don’t bring about any microscopic tears on the skin’s surface, which could lead to breakouts or simply typically significantly less healthier-hunting skin. i have tiny pours on my cheeks and nose and also acne trouble…. please enable me to eliminate this.. The way it operate: Bananas have antioxidants and vitamin C in them as well as other minerals. They assist to lower wrinkles and fine traces. You should use this mask every single day. Following applying https://www.facebook.com/steptoremedies/posts/2099744330118836 , if you feel your skin remains dry you can use a very good selfmade moisturizer ( ) or almost every other moisturizer of your choice. A little cinnamon oil can be used Together with the coconut oil, but I might only use a fall or two in a small jar of coconut oil–in excess of that could melt away the skin. To complete your registration you should enter the verification code you received in your cellular. When you have not acquired the verification code, be sure to SMS REWARDME to 9223347100

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Oats is a fantastic natural scrub that aids in finding rid on the dead skin cells and reveals a glowing and lighter skin tone. A few images of a similar woman noh mask exhibiting how the expression variations having a tilting of the head. In these photos, the mask was affixed to a wall with continuous lighting, and just the digital camera moved. Masks are an essential A part of lots of theatre forms through planet cultures, and their usage in theatre has often created from, or continues to generally be A part of old, extremely refined, stylized theatrical traditions. Contemporary theatre Warning: Kelp could be allergenic to some resulting from its superior iodine written content. Also, kelp might be full of metallic pollutants like guide and cadmium, due to the fact virtually all industrial sewage and wastes are finally dumped in the seas. Simply just distribute the oil more than your skin after a bath or shower, similar to you'd probably with frequent lotion or entire body butter. Constantly browse the label to make certain that the oil you happen to be having is pure rather than combined in with other oils. Korean masks have a long tradition connected with shamanism and later on in ritual dance. Korean masks had been Employed in war, on the two troopers and their horses; ceremonially, for burial rites in jade and bronze and for shamanistic ceremonies to generate absent evil spirits; to recollect the faces of great historic figures in Loss of life masks; and during the arts, notably in ritual dances, courtly, and theatrical performs. Oats don't just nourishes skin of all kinds and also absorbs extra sebum from inside of your pores as it is actually an absorbent. This acne-fighting mask presents nourishing, exfoliating and cleaning Advantages to skin. You'll find numerous types of masks Employed in Africa. In West Africa, masks are used in masquerades that type Portion of religious ceremonies enacted to talk to spirits and ancestors. Examples would be the masquerades of the Yoruba, Igbo, and Edo cultures, which includes Egungun Masquerades and Northern Edo Masquerades. The masks are often carved with an extraordinary ability and wide variety by artists who will often have gained their instruction as an apprentice to the master carver - routinely it is a tradition that's been handed down inside of a household by way of a lot of generations. There’s one thing about coffee! Its a things that Many individuals are unable to Stay devoid of, I'm able to, but I'm sure quite a few who certainly need their vital dose of cuppa in their life. Furthermore, in beauty business, coffee is raved about its elegance benefits. Scrubs, human body butters, body lotions, face creams proclaiming the goodness of coffee have caught our consideration And that i get coffee-prosperous splendor stuff for its fantastic and loaded aroma Regardless that I'm not a compulsive coffee drinker, I hardly ever have coffee! This sort of masks endure during the alpine regions of Austria and Switzerland, and should be linked with hunting or shamanism, and are generally specially related to the New 12 months and Carnival festivals. Will not pick your pimples. You can make the inflammation worse and you have a method higher hazard of getting a scar even soon after it goes absent. There are a variety of fine solutions for receiving rid of pimples in this post on wikiHow. To start out receiving timely alerts, as proven down below click the Green “lock” icon next to the handle bar Masks may suggest a tradition's excellent of feminine splendor. The masks of Punu of Gabon have remarkably arched eyebrows, Practically almond-formed eyes and also a slim chin. The lifted strip managing from each side in the nose on the ears characterize jewellery. Dim black hairstyle, tops the mask off. The whiteness on the face depict the whiteness and wonder with the spirit environment. one : a mask or protecting covering for the face Large fumes compelled authorities to supply inhabitants inside the fast vicinity from the spill with face masks …— Bill Hewitt and Terry Smith … jersey figures outline the participant in soccer, where helmets and face masks make it more challenging to identify a player's face.

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OEM ODM rorec aloe vera olive pomegranate blueberry honey pure skin mask for face masks skin care I've experimented with coffee honey nd lemon blended face pack nd it is de facto powerful to my skin….u should try out it the moment ?? In the closed glass jar from sunlight and warmth. In that circumstance it's going to final so long as the expiration date over the oil you employed (Ordinarily 1-two many years). Contemplate next up with some moisturizer. The lemon in this mask could be a minor drying for your skin. If you find that the face is a little dry, apply some moisturizer in your face. I use yellow Section of the egg for 30 mins right before inportant event. it takes the lifeless skin away and can make my skin smooth and glowy A fairly easy approach to individual yolk from whites is you crack an egg into a bowl and take an vacant water bottle and squeeze it, ensure you maintain that grip. then place the hole of your bottle earlier mentioned the yolk and let that grip go and it really should suck the yolk into the bottle. Mix perfectly and utilize a uniform coating in excess of your face, Specially within the regions with excessive facial hair. Connected Searches for face mask: Children face mask fishing face mask cartoon face mask professional medical mask monkey face mask beard face mask kevlar face mask nurse face mask breathable face mask watertight face mask antibacterial face mask plague health practitioner mask mouth mask rather face masks 3m n95 mask More... And why to purchase when you can Do it yourself! Of course, property fruit facials are an awesome skin care you are able to incorporate in your schedule. Plus the fruit you can use is banana! Bananas are offered all the year spherical and are quite powerful for that skin. Here are several wonderful homemade banana face mask recipes have a look and take a look at it at your property, Use lukewarm water along with a facial cleanser ideal to your skin type. You could clean your face with clean palms, a washcloth, or even a tender sponge. Stick to up with some toner and moisturizer. "It was super easy and easy to perform. I'll carry on carrying out this facial for any clean and younger seeking skin. Many thanks." RD Rylie Doosendorf Ultimately, whisk the combination together with a fork and utilize it for your face using your fingers or a cotton ball. To find out how to create a nourishing egg facial mask, scroll down! Strategy: Mix them all inside a bowl and apply a thick coat on the face. Permit it do the job its magic for 15 minutes right until it dries out. Then rinse with water and dry your face using a towel. Implement a moisturiser right away to stay away from dry skin. Select one which fits your skin kind and you are with your strategy to identifying lots of great things about honey for your personal skin!

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(Notice: My video taking techniques obviously aren't the top!) Moist your fingers and begin rubbing inside of a circler motion all over your face for around forty five seconds. Start out rinsing! Their 3 most important cults use seventy-eight different types of masks. A lot of the ceremonies with the Dogon culture are key, Even though the antelope dance is shown to non-Dogons. The antelope masks are tough rectangular packing containers with various horns coming out of the very best. The Dogons are pro agriculturists as well as the antelope symbolizes a hard Doing the job farmer.[28] Disclaimer: The information on This great site is generic, informational and adjunctive at ideal, but are not able to serve as a substitution for professional health care tips. All through the environment, masks are made use of for his or her expressive power for a function of masked general performance - equally ritually and in numerous theatre traditions. The ritual and theatrical definitions of mask use regularly overlap and merge but nevertheless supply a helpful basis for categorisation. I’ve been employing an historic Asian masks for a few days now and my skin feels terrific! The recipe for a huge bowl is: one spoon of pure termeric powder (yellow-brownish spice), two spoons of pure honey, two spoons of all pure yogurt ( any will do), 2 spoons of brown rice powder, half of a lemon, and you might incorporate 1 egg white although the egg white isn’t in the initial recipe. You can also prepare a Do-it-yourself face mask to remove facial hair by mixing egg whites with excess-great white sugar and corn starch. The sugar and corn starch transform the whisked egg whites right into a peel-off mask on drying. Just gonna say in this article, you might be missing out by not using the yolk. I defeat a single egg nicely and set it in a small glass jar for storage in my fridge. Just about every early morning I just take it out and generously utilize it all over my face. When applying the mixture, operate upwards out of your chin towards your cheeks after which to your forehead utilizing a gentle circular movement. Turmeric powder and orange juice have powerful skin-lightening Houses and make this mask an unbelievably powerful cure for acne scars and dim places, far too. “Clinical trials have revealed that honey is a successful broad-spectrum antibacterial agent. https://www.wikihow.com/Apply-Face-Masks-Correctly got a lot of oomph that it may even end the ‘superbug’ MRSA from increasing. In https://steptoremedies.com/home-remedies-pimples/ , Schumann's influence combined with the early avant-garde artists to really encourage groups like Moving Picture Mime Show and Welfare Point out (both in britain). These businesses experienced an enormous affect on the next technology of teams Performing in Visible theatre, such as IOU and Horse and Bamboo Theatre, who produce a theatre by which masks are used in addition to puppets, movie and other Visible forms, having an emphasis to the narrative construction.[52] Practical masks A fascinating illustration of a sporting activities mask that confounds the protective perform could be the wrestling mask, a mask most generally used in the Mexican/Latin lucha libre kind of wrestling. Sugar: It is Mild to be a scrub and will not clog pores. Honey: It is a great moisturizer and assists endorse wound healing. Masks are a well-known and vivid component in lots of folk and common pageants, ceremonies, rituals, and festivals, and are frequently of the ancient origin. The mask is Usually a A part of a costume that adorns The entire physique and embodies a tradition important to the spiritual and/or social lifetime of the Local community as complete or a particular group inside the Local community. Masks are used Practically universally and sustain their electric power and thriller both equally for his or her wearers and their audience.

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Refrain from speaking or smiling With all the mask on for the reason that stretching the restricted skin may well bring about wrinkles to appear. Thanks to the egg white mask I am going to try out it... I am desperate to see the outcome in just a few days!!! How much time will I really have to utilize it to begin to see the extraordinary outcomes? Hello! Healthmunsta, I thank you for sharing this short article about egg white face mask. After i was in high school, I'd a Instructor who told me that she takes advantage of egg white and milk combination for her face mask. Short article SummaryX To produce an egg facial mask, begin by cracking an egg and separating the egg white as well as yolk. Then, discard the yolk and include a few teaspoons of lemon juice along with a 50 % teaspoon of honey for the egg white. Decrease your pressure ranges. Worry can don't just wreck havoc in your mind and snooze, but your skin also. It may lead to acne, breakouts, along with other skin challenges. Established practical plans and limits on your own, and leave time every week so as to do things which you appreciate. Put the egg white and orange juice in a little mixing bowl and whisk right until it gets frothy. Incorporate in turmeric powder and blend extensively. Be certain the combination is not also drippy. Utilizing clean fingers, use the combination for your face and therapeutic massage in a very round movement, permitting it to sink deep into your skin. Exactly how much you exfoliate is up for discussion. Some Girls have skin that gets scaly promptly. Other folks seem dewy and clean with small fuss. Dermatologist Dr. many thanks for that idea.I will attempt it out,i under no circumstances understood that banana could possibly be Utilized in so numerous ways.are not able to hold out to implement it.Thanks.' Egg white is perfect for tightening and toning skin. It works wonders for greasy skin by shrinking huge pores within the skin surface, thereby lowering excess sebum. Hello there. I'm a novice in applying DIY wellbeing cures, so I really favored your facial recipes! I have discoloration on my face (which is not too lousy) from the physique allergic reaction. Get seven to nine hrs of rest Each and every night. Not having plenty of slumber may make your skin surface boring and sallow. It can also cause bags or shadows beneath your eyes. Obtaining enough slumber will cut down wrinkles and under-eye puffiness. It will also give you a balanced, glowing complexion.[fifteen] Honey and avocado are the right combo of hydrating ingredients for dry skin. Floor almonds Carefully exfoliate, as well as their good fats go away your skin feeling Tremendous soft. If you'd like to add even more moisturizing Positive aspects, incorporate a tablespoon of oil to the combination. This is employed to gather facts on visitors to articles together with other webpages on our website. Until you happen to be signed in into a HubPages account, all Individually identifiable info is anonymized. Uncomplicated: Individuals salt crystals are way too huge and may possible tear her skin. When selecting an exfoliation method, keep in mind you should deal with your skin Carefully. Micro-tears are usually not superior for that skin. Salt scrubs are in fact well known but opt for little crystals like the ones inside a standard desk salt.

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Guidance: Set all ingredients into a considerable bowl and stir right up until it results in being sticky and thick. Apply the mask on your face for five minutes and wash face comprehensively by using a mild facial soap. There are https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OjUKl_IhthU that you choose to almost can’t go wrong with in DIY skincare. And honey is unquestionably at the top from the listing. This kitchen pantry staple continues to be Employed in food items and drugs Considering that the Stone Age. Here’s why your skin loves it, also. Rich in wholesome Unwanted fat and vitamin E, the nutritious avocado may help feed and lubricate withered skin, offering it a supple look and feel. Only unfold the oil over your skin after a tub or shower, similar to you should with standard lotion or system butter. Usually read through the label to ensure that the oil you happen to be acquiring is pure instead of combined in with other oils. Your just lately considered items and featured recommendations › View or edit your browsing historical past Here are several truly straightforward Do-it-yourself face mask recipes that have become highly regarded between honey lovers. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0O5WCtJnBt8 and substances involved with Every single mask are so easy that you can get ready it in a few minutes. Listed below are recipes for the best a few face masks for acne. Make sure you get rid of all make-up and wash your face comprehensively just before implementing these purely natural face packs. Cleaning your face allows unclog pores and allows the masks to penetrate deep into your skin. Honey incorporates a hefty serving of antioxidants for moisturized and vivid skin. Polyphenols in honey ruin no cost radicals that cause oxidative stress in skin cells, thus slowing down the ageing means of skin. Honey in your skin is largely character’s wonder, and these four Uncooked honey face mask recipes are some of my favorite handmade recipes for nourishing my skin. Time and energy to say goodbye to acne and pimples. Blend orange peel powder with oatmeal and baking soda to make the final word pimple annihilation face mask. > Who doesn’t would like to scent superior all day long extensive? An excellent scent can not simply cause you to scent great, it can boost your self esteem manifold. Honey is of course antibacterial, which assists your skin combat off acne. In addition it has an an amazing antioxidant capacity, and you wish antioxidants all over to fight the absolutely free radicals that injury the skin. In the event the time is up, rinse your face gently until eventually all of the mixture is totally gone. Pat dry which has a towel. When your face is dry just after this mask, utilize a fall of coconut or olive oil for a pure moisturizer. Egg whites don’t just function to tighten and nourish your skin, In addition they are incredibly rich in collagen and will transform your skin’s elasticity. This consequently lessens the appearance of wrinkles and crow’s-ft about your eyes.

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Of course, this will likely sound unbelievable however it’s a fact that banana combined with couple of other ingredients may help in dealing with and blocking the skin from acne. Permit it keep for 20 to thirty minutes. This mask may possibly provide you with a tingly experience but shortly it is going to fade. Don’t fail to remember to change your dresses just before making use of this mask. Spot the ripe banana in a small mixing bowl and mash it by using a fork right up until you've got a lump-totally free paste. Then blend from the honey and lemon juice and Mix all ingredients extensively. This is certainly accustomed to discover distinct browsers or equipment when the access the service, and is also utilized for protection explanations. This solution for balancing the skin’s natural oils might be repeated twice in per week for best final results. i have compact pours on my cheeks and nose and in addition acne dilemma…. make sure you support me to get rid of this.. In case you have an American model coffee machine, utilize the coffee grinds while in the filter; if you have an Italian type device, just unscrew and take away the debris left between the areas of the cafetiere. (ii) Right after making use of a face mask, consider massaging your face with ice cubes wrapped inside a tender towel. This will likely perform to close opened skin pores and prevent Dust and pollution from making their way into your skin pores. Alternatively, it is possible to clean your face with cold water. Thnx quite a bit fr ur quick rply chandni…m much relievd nw…m happy dat i cme on diz web page n meet a frnd like u…thnx fr this sort of helpful n uncomplicated Do it yourself property fce packs undoubtedly as ud skin luks so obvious gorgeous n youthful wil test dem as i hve dry skin…can u suggest a fairly easy remedy fr less than eye dark circles thnx in advnce "How often to employ this face mask? Tend not to use everyday, as more than exfoliation of skin is not really essential. Use it at any time different day or 3 situations per week." Clean your face initial and your arms too because you don’t to use a face mask on soiled face. So just after this utilize a thick layer of this mask with your face. Should the orange peel powder and oatmeal utilised with each other feels just a little rough with your skin, incorporate extra olive oil but don’t make it much too runny as it is going to make a drippy mess. I had been doing some analysis on utilizing honey for acne, And that i found this text. Below’s a fascinating quotation: Here's most effective 6 DIY egg white face masks that are easy to get ready and might help solve a wide range of skin problems to provide you with toned and gorgeous skin. If wanted, you could discover various hacks to independent the egg’s yolk and whites.

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Great Hub! Head examining mines out? Incidentally if any one want to adhere to me I'll follow you right back! I want to create a network of followers, the greater the merrier, you scratch my again I scratch yours! Do it once a week, preferably when you have your 'spa day at your house'. Should you have enough time, do it each other working day. Be sure to examination to make certain your skin will not be delicate to lemon. Test diluting the lemon juice with drinking water to lower discomfort. Hope this will help. Pursuing the rules listed here and generally using very good care of yourself (having well, having plenty of rest, exercising, taking care of tension effectively - you'll find articles or blog posts on every one of these topics right here if you need them) can assist. Observe excellent hygiene, avoid touching your face, clean your outfits and pillowcases/sheets often, use a purely natural laundry detergent If you're able to, and prevent applying dryer sheets or material softener (they will aggravate acne for a number of people). As a consequence of they both seriously good to scale back significant pores, also tighten them. As oranges are filled with vitamin C which Obviously exfoliates your skin. It provides you with an acne no cost skin it also helps make your skin brighter that previous ever. It gives you the glow that you simply’ve normally wanted. Your superior skin care product or service s that are available as acne creams, or cleanses, or oil harmony goods will have to contain this component. That is accustomed to identify specific browsers or equipment in the event the obtain the service, and is also used for protection causes. I’m confident you listened to countless health advantages of pomegranate but Do you realize it does miracles for skin too? Yes, it’s legitimate as it's thrice a lot more antioxidant than purple wine or eco-friendly tea. Smoking cigarettes will make your skin appear older and contributes to wrinkles. Cigarette smoking narrows the small blood vessels while in the outermost levels of skin, which decreases blood stream and makes skin paler. This also depletes the skin of oxygen and nutrients that are important to skin wellbeing. As we are aware that acne hurt any one at any time. so these banana face masks are your ultimate solution. As acne doesn’t only have an impact on physically but emotionally also it helps make our self-self esteem reduced. Hi, many thanks for The good short article! I have already been employing egg-white now for some several years, but it had been instinctive instead of acquiring read about it online. @vishnum969: Without a doubt, egg white is extremely productive For most skin disorders which includes acne susceptible skin and getting old skin. Inside of a clear mixing bowl, whisk together the egg white and lemon juice till the mixture gets frothy. The lemon juice masks the odour from the egg white. Add ½ teaspoon of honey and stir very well. Egg whites are high in collagen and vitamin A (which is important in the event of products that have the ability to address scars or burns). Keep the eyes distinct although making use of these banana face mask, Include your eyes with freshly Lower cucumber slices. This also enable to cut back the appearance of darkish circle underneath your eyes.

Rumored Buzz on skin care

I realized the honey and lemon were being fantastic on your skin but not the egg whites. That's the next factor I wish to test. Position the egg white and orange juice in a little mixing bowl and whisk right up until it gets to be frothy. Include in turmeric powder and blend thoroughly. Ensure that the mixture is just not much too drippy. Applying clear hands, use the combination to the face and massage in a very round movement, enabling it to sink deep into your skin. Hello am Ruckshana now i have a difficulty that is definitely skin transform and a lot more pimples and likewise my skin has become pretty rough and also dark circles also so please propose any face mask make sure you and i manufactured a solution of making tamotos each day but its not Performing yha and also no soaps is additionally Operating i detest of all this so be sure to i humbly requste you to supply me a great Alternative right now i’ll check out of with banana You should use this mask every day. Following applying this mask, if you're feeling your skin is still dry you can apply a very good handmade moisturizer ( ) or another moisturizer within your preference. When you say Egg White, will it truly need to be an true egg white or am i able to use egg white from a carton? I have an Egg white Carton And that i choose to request whether it is similar to making use of an Actual Egg white Egg. Is anyone having this? LOL! Hello chandni…plz aid me am i able to maintain milk right away on my face wil it have ny sideeffcts i implement milk with cotton n preserve it overnight n sumtimes i evn rub a Computer system of banana in excess of it n wash it in d morng…plzz lemme knw wil it hve ny sideefcts…wtng fr ur response Software: Utilize a layer with the apple honey mask with your whole face. Wait for ten to fifteen minutes and let the mask dry up a little. After that, clean the mask off While using the lukewarm h2o and anticipate the outcome! Info: Kelp is a organic detoxifier and is a superb moisturizer for skin. The minerals existing On this seaweed help to tone skin and the coarse grains of dried kelp powder, because it is mostly sold, are Great at exfoliating useless skin. Exfoliate, don sunscreen, and use light-weight lotions often, and also you’ll by no means again have to manage milia seeds. If you already have them, don’t make an effort to do anything by yourself. Talk to a dermatologist in its place. It’s superior being Protected than sorry! Exterminates micro organism, averts acne and pimples that may normally induce dim places. Has skin lightening properties. I have an incredibly bad face tan and my skin is quite sensitive.. What must I do for it? And how much time will it take for that tan to go? "My face is extremely oily and I have blackheads on my nose and chin. This labored rather well, I will be using it two times every week from now on."..." much more AO Afi Owusu After i was all-around fourteen, my hair bought a little oily from my functions. To keep my hair fresh new for a longer period following I washed it, I'd use whipped egg white on it. I set it in my damp hair, and Enable it dry, then brushed it out. My hair had additional quantity much too. In a cleanse mixing bowl, whisk alongside one another the egg white and lemon juice right until the combination turns into frothy. The lemon juice masks the odour with the egg white. Increase ½ teaspoon of honey and stir nicely.

face mask No Further a Mystery

Consider an egg as an alternative to dairy if you are an egg mask lover, or substitute oils, for example olive oil, extra virgin coconut oil, or sweet almond oil Should you have dehydrated skin. If using oils, halve the amount or It's going to be much too runny. Thanx. I am a black/african lady 0f forty one. I'm mild in complection, but my face seems to be so dull and grey. I have tried evri item but my skin retaliates skin care regimen. You may not see the results you would like without delay. Try out a mask for around one thirty day period ahead of analyzing whether you'll continue on making use of it. Warning: Many people are allergic to cinnamon and it may possibly sometimes generate irritation in those with an unusually delicate skin. For that reason, this mask really should be made use of soon after screening somewhere in addition to to the face. It could be if you utilize the ice directly to your skin. It's best in case you wrap the ice within a washcloth, then apply it to the face for one minute. Cut down your tension amounts. Strain can not just wreck havoc on your own thoughts and snooze, but your skin likewise. It may lead to acne, breakouts, and other skin issues. Set real looking targets and boundaries on your own, and go away time every week to be able to do things that you appreciate. Tdas Face mask for dust air pollution for guys Girls Young ones bike bikers air anti pollution dustproof mask washable reusable (Navy Blue) Graphic: Karen Cox/SheKnows For those who don’t have enough time to whip up an entire Do-it-yourself banana mask, a fresh banana in opposition to inflamed skin may well do the trick. Incorporate the honey towards the egg white and lemon juice, and blend anything yet again. You may need ½ tablespoon of honey. Make sure that it's the translucent, runny sort. Honey is antibacterial and acts like a purely natural antiseptic. It is also moisturizing and aids replenish the skin.[three] However, before you start Checking out the remedy choices, you'll want to fully recognize what results in acne and afterwards attempt to logically deduce how honey masks is usually helpful in its cure. Turn into a member of Reward Me and obtain unique delivers! Become a member Mixing honey, orange peel powder and yogurt makes a mask that will help you reduce acne scars and blemishes. Wash your pillowcase generally and prevent carrying hair merchandise to mattress. This may aid reduce breakouts. I believe I’ll in fact combine three and 4 mainly because I have dry and inflamed skin. Among the benefits of making use of these kinds of ingredients is they gained’t respond badly collectively like atore bought ones may possibly! Now crush and powder your peels into a wonderful powder using a foodstuff processor or blender, without having introducing any h2o.

The 2-Minute Rule for strawberry face mask

Orange peel powder Obviously has a lot of Qualities which will recover, guard and sustain gorgeous facial skin. Here are a few of the most crucial properties: In an affordable and straightforward natural beauty remedy that may be also adequate to consume, a Do it yourself banana face mask may help to quiet and cleanse skin with the transform in the seasons. The egg white helps decrease excess sebum with your skin by shrinking the scale of your respective pores. It will likely give your skin a firmer plus much more even glance by significantly lowering much larger pores. Terms & Disorders The photographs characterize precise solution however shade in the graphic and products might somewhat differ. Exactly how much you exfoliate is up for debate. Some Gals have skin that gets scaly promptly. Other folks look dewy and clean with minimum fuss. Dermatologist Dr. 4. Rice flour is really a ponder ingredient when it comes to tan removing. Applying rice flour about the skin will allow you to in having rid of stubborn age spots and tan and In addition it lightens complexion with standard use. In order to get the cucumber juice You must grate it after which squeeze the juice out of it (grate plenty of cucumber to acquire the quantity of juice you need). Everyone knows that oranges are great for wellness, ideal? But as with https://www.wikihow.com/Establish-an-Effective-Skincare-Routine , the peel truly incorporates a Significantly better focus of vitamins, minerals and nutrients as opposed to fruit itself! one. Cut or crack a banana into smaller parts, and place into a mixing bowl. Mash up the banana which has a steel spoon. A face mask geared up from orange peels may possibly sound odd in the beginning but can perform miracles for your personal skin. In case you’re possessing a challenging time believing in the merits of the ingredient, give this mask a try and you'll have a hard time believing your eyes too. This is a great mask If the skin is a bit irritated or blotchy. It really works by combining the egg white with honey and yoghurt. Egg whites tighten the skin and shrink your pores even though the yogurt nourishes your complexion. It’s like acquiring a Botox procedure! Somewhat heat the honey and incorporate it to the egg white combined with the yogurt (be certain it’s fresh). Private label hydrating firming anti-growing old new components superfine fiber mask sheet peeling face mask

Details, Fiction and coffee face mask

Combine the leftover floor coffee beans with h2o. Remember that there have to be a lot more coffee than water, since the final result must be a instead shut texture to your cream or perhaps a paste than a liquid. Some recipes alter the water for milk For additional hydration. Clean your face. Use a mild cleanser to clean your face with lukewarm drinking water, then pat your face dry with a clean up, dry washcloth. Shigong dance masks had been Employed in shamanic rituals to thank the gods, although nuo dance masks shielded from terrible spirits. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KPFg-ea8EVQ ended up utilized to pray once and for all luck and an enduring marriage, and "Swallowing Animal" masks were associated with guarding the home and symbolised the "swallowing" of disaster. There are numerous days that appear to fly by, and then there are actually the ones that seem to just take permanently. This was among the latter. I manufactured some pastry cream and cookies and wound up with 7 egg whites. I failed to These an artist holds a revered position in tribal Modern society as a result of work that he / she results in, embodying not merely elaborate craft tactics but will also spiritual/social and symbolic know-how.[27] African masks can also be used in the Mas or Masquerade on the Caribbean Carnival. Right here you are able to find out more about the many benefits of oats for that skin and the way to make oatmeal scrubs in your face. Thanks so a great deal!! https://twitter.com/steptoremedies/status/1087123555727405058 of my lifeI hhave been scuffling with acne. Experimented with anything on the market and very little will work. I'm definitely gonna try these! Thank you so a great deal for these normal treatments Thank you for producing your account on EverydayMe. This informative article or product has been added in your favorites. When you've got an American design and style coffee device, use the coffee grinds within the filter; When you've got an Italian fashion equipment, just unscrew and take away the debris remaining involving the parts of the cafetiere. The appliance of an egg white mask can clog the pores and increase the opportunity of breakouts for individuals who have acne susceptible skin. Other Negative effects incorporate the unfold of microorganisms over the skin, as raw egg whites comprise salmonella, a bacterium that can cause foods poisoning. Apply the mixture in your face. Use your fingers to Carefully therapeutic massage the combination into your face. It’s important to be Mild otherwise you might trigger the skin of your face to become irritated, which could lead on to breakouts. Combine the elements with each other in a blender or by using a fork and spoon. Apply to face, rinse off soon after 10 minutes. Bought quite oily and acne-vulnerable skin? Get worried no far more with this straightforward and cleaning orange peel face mask, that may depart your skin oil-free and moisturized at the same time! Realize that incorporating produce for your combination will lessen its shelf everyday living. Basically, Really don't make a big batch, otherwise it could go poor ahead of You should utilize it all. On top of that, if you include fruits or veggies to the facial remedy, make sure you refrigerate it.[19]

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timhowe-blog1 · 6 years

Text

~ Being British in Bavaria ~

Prologue

‘So, let's just get this straight,’ begins Frau Gürtelmann, removing her spectacles and fixing me slap bang in the eyes with a studied, concentrated gaze.

‘In your application you said that you are PC literate, but it turns out you can't touch-type, you can't tell the difference between pdf and power point, and Frau Bichlbächer had to show you how to send her an email’.

That much is true. I had needed to ask her secretary how to send an email. It seems incredible that a means of communication which we take for granted nowadays was by no means bread-and-butter business back in 1998.

‘All you're able to do,’ continues Gürtelmann, ‘is open Word’.Looking for confirmation, lest she might have misidentified my true colours, she cocks her head: ‘Right so?’

I’d been tickled pink when, having just graduated the previous autumn, Deutsche Telekom instantly offered me a full-time position in its translating department. My first day on the job looked promising. I’d always considered myself to be a natural talent at journalism, and was delighted to be asked to translate press releases for the company’s English-language website. The first assignment involved a dispatch advertising a wake-up call service from glamour girl Verona Feldbusch. That’s roughly the German equivalent of Katie Price. As I handed my polished text to the department secretary I remarked ‘Gosh, and there are people prepared to pay good money for something like that’.

This off-hand remark must have found its way back to the boss, because the following morning I was removed from press translation and relegated to manning ‘the clippings cubicle’. This, I soon discovered, was the least popular duty in the whole department – one normally assigned to school pupils on work week. My instructions were to ‘fillet’ the daily Fachpresse, or specialist press, cut out everything to do with telecommunications and glue it into a scrapbook. I’d heard from former novices that new full-time entrants were also occasionally put to work on this peripheral assignment. But for just a day or two, before being moved on to more key, translation-based tasks. Apart from being released to translate the odd text whenever a colleague went sick, I remained in the newspaper clippings cubicle a whole month.

I should have taken the hint. Especially when the colleague responsible for keeping an eye on my efforts quietly handed me the Stellenangebote – situations vacant – from the Süddeutsche Zeitung and suggested I might start applying for other jobs. Things hadn't quite panned out as planned, it seemed. I was now being called into the boss's office for my first and, as it soon transpired, only progress report. And we weren’t even a third of the way into probationary period.

Frau Gürtelmann's damning appraisal of my practically non-existent PC skills is, alas, spot on. Humiliated and unable to return her gaze, I lower my eyes, bringing them to rest on a stain on the lacquered wood floorboards. Then, as if attempting to mitigate charges being brought against me, I look up and whimper ‘Yes, but I also copy and paste’.

On reflection, I'd possibly taken ‘PC literate’, buzzword of the time, rather too literally. I was, after all, literate and able to turn on a PC. Surely that sufficed, did it not? A simplistic but nonetheless reasonable line of thought in the days when social networking meant little more than writing out a cheque each year for Friends Reunited and mobile phones came bricklike, glued to a 12-inch antenna. As for connectivity and the Internet of Things, back in 1998 these were foreign words to me.

In my defence, I ought to explain that my ignorance of all things IT was not totally mea culpa. I am one of the so-called ‘lost generation’. The very year after I left school, Information Technology was introduced to the National Curriculum. The idea of ‘catching up’ on this essential life-skills subject was never mooted, however. Right through university and well into my first full-time teaching job in Britain it was not once suggested that a basic grasp of PC knowhow might possibly enhance my career prospects. Not even when I took my Diploma of Translating shortly before the Millennium was there any talk of computer literacy being de rigueur for those wishing to progress in this IT-driven profession. As a mature student, I was easily ten years older than most of my fellow peers – every single one of them PC literate, naturally.

Following the dressing down in Frau Gürtelmann’s office, I knuckle down at my laptop and endeavour to fix my shortcomings in the IT department. For starters, I take an Introduction to Word course at the local VHS, part of Germany’s excellent adult education network. I even buy an old typewriter for ten marks and teach myself touch-typing. Still, having made a dog’s dinner of my first job in Germany, probably the most sensible thing to do would right now would be to cut my losses and return to England. Although my first attempt at teaching in Britain hadn’t exactly been a crowning achievement, I probably should consider giving it another go. They’re desperately short of foreign language teachers in Britain, I speak French and German fluently and am appropriately qualified. I feel sure I could make a much better job of it second time round.

So why am I reluctant to return to Britain? More to the point, why am I so gung-ho on staying on here and making Germany my home? Twenty years later, and this is still one of the most frequent questions which Germans ask me. ‘Wie kommst Du hierher?’ They want to know what brought me here. This has always struck me as something of a strange question. I mean, why not ‘Lust auf Lovely Germany?’ That’s the title of a recent Spiegel magazine report on intra-EU migrants. It’s no accident that some 96,000 Brits currently live in Germany. The country enjoys a healthy economy, plenty jobs, a generous health and social care system and generally a much better climate than Britain. They brew a damn good beer here too, of course. These are typical reasons I give whenever Germans ask me how I ended up here. And they’re all part of the reason why I’m so happy to make this country my adopted home. What originally attracted me over here all those years ago, however, takes a little more explaining. Truth told, I fell in love with Germany quite by accident. And it was all thanks to a teenage magazine called Bravo.

Flashback to the early eighties. Growing up in the genteel Georgian city of Bath in Northeast Somerset, it’s unlikely that I would ever have become quite so fixated with Germany and the Germans, had it not been for Bravo. I discovered this popular youth magazine on an exchange trip to our partner town of Brunswick in 1982. It was the year that Deutsche Welle rocked not only the German charts. Splashed over the mag’s front page almost every week were names like Spider Murphy Gang, Hubert Kah and Trio. The latter even made it onto Top of the Pops in Britain.

Emailing, text messaging, WotsApping – none of all that had been invented back then. I don’t think we even had fax. Which is why letter writing, just shortly behind the telephone, was probably the most common form of communication between young people. And Bravo, like most youth magazines of the time, played a pivotal role in this process. I decided to write off to its pen pal page. Scribbled on the back of a blank postcard and accompanied by a simple black-and-white passport photo, my text read Engländer (18) sucht nette deutsche Brieffreunde/innen (Englishman seeks nice German penfriends, male or female).

I didn’t give the request a moment’s more thought until several weeks later when the postman rang our doorbell excitedly waving a fistful of letters from Germany and Austria. The senders were all female, aged 15 to 17 – a rather narrow target audience for any type of magazine. Not that this really mattered much to me at the time, of course. I was too busy sniffing scented envelopes, deliberating which one to open first. Up to 900 further letters flooded in over the course of the ensuing months, and for a brief period I even possessed my own sorting bag at the local town post office. I did my uttermost to reply to as many as I could. My sole precondition – acceptance criteria, so to speak – was that they enclose a pretty photo. Or at least promise to send one by return of post. Scented notepaper earned bonus points, sending me onto overdrive, as I fired off responses machine-gun style. If ever there was a schoolboy trailblazer to online dating I can proudly say I helped pioneer the project. And if letter writing was ‘in’ then I was right there at the cutting edge.

It soon transpired that this was a perhaps less than ideal way to be spending almost every moment of my freetime in my final year of school. And scribbling away in chaotic Denglish was possibly not the best preparation for my German exams either. Miraculously, I scraped through final examinations with a ‘B’ (History) and two ‘C’ grades (French and German). The latter, interestingly, was a very hard school subject in those days, and remains equally so. This might explain my rather disappointing grade in my most favourite subject. Only around 9% of British pupils actually learn German – and most happily abandon the subject by the age of 16. No wonder Brits refer to it as ‘niche’ subject. Whatever educational value I felt might be derived from corresponding with a substantial proportion of the female teenage population in Germany obviously failed to manifest itself in my exam results.

Having written as many letters as I could physically manage each night I would crawl into bed, collapsing alongside my plastic-clad transistor radio. I habitually sent myself to sleep with Berichte von heute, North German Radio's roundup of the day's news. How much I was able to follow invariably depended on the strength of the crackly short-wave signal. Each morning I would awaken to dulcet tones of Radio Luxemburg's Fröhlicher Wecker, aka Axel Fitzke. This slightly less cocky German version of the BBC's Chris Evans invited his Germany-based listeners, and probably his sole follower in the UK, to wallow in a grand pêle-mêle of Deutsche Schlager and Euro pop. The latter – smash hits from Brittany to Bucharest – despite being sung in relatively comprehensible, albeit rather nonsensical English, never seemed to chart in Britain, strangely enough. The line-up included stars with dubious-sounding names such as Gazebo, Secret Service and Joy. Not to be confused, of course, with the somewhat more sophisticated Police and Joy Division, which most of my peers were into back then. But if Germans were unashamed fans of banal euro pop then it was good enough for me too.

In my last year of school I was, needless to say, obsessed with all things German. When classmates were kicking a ball around the playground or, more likely, slouched on sofas in the sixth form centre, my ears would be glued to headphones in the language lab, fervently following the latest episode of BBC Schools' Deutsch für die Oberstufe, which Herr Lawson kindly recorded each week just for me – I seemed to be the only one interested.

Hence I spent my final school year specialising in the subjects I loved – foreign languages and history. The school careers advice centre, sadly, wasn’t the greatest of help in guiding me on what exactly to do with these subjects after school. Looking back, I should really have gone in for something more career-oriented, such as journalism or tourism management. Unsure what to do next, I was talked into doing a bone-dry, text-bookish Language and Linguistics degree course. I chose the University of Essex for one sole reason – the port of Harwich was just down the road, providing a convenient escape route to Germany. It was a few more years until no-frills airlines were to revolutionise the way we travelled abroad. For the time being it was the ferry for me.

Had you asked me, in those halcyon, pre-Brexit days, if I'd rather be German than British the answer would have been a resounding ‘Jaaaa!

This, then, is the story of my journey from Bath to deepest Lower Bavaria. And in this post-Brexit climate, an attempt to answer perhaps one of the toughest Anglo-German issues:

Can you really transform a Brit into a Bavarian?

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roxiesdiary-blog · 7 years

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Dawn of Change, Chapt 5

Hi, everyone! Welcome to my fifth diary posting! I hope that you enjoy reading about my adventures in Magnolia, Fiore! If you want to read further than this chapter, there are 2 more after this, all posted on the following websites with 2 more in progress. Just follow the link you want to follow! Also, please don’t forget to favorite/follow/bookmark and comment.

AO3: http://archiveofourown.org/works/6555616

FF.Net: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11262127/1/Fairy-Tail-Dawn-of-Change

In this episode: I finally discover my magic and I choose my mentor!

One week after Roxanne first began her training with Makarov, she looked back in her journal while she waited for her breakfast. Reading each entry let her relive what she had learned and gone through that day, and it let Roxanne estimate how much she had grown.

In the seven days she had been training with Makarov, her body had changed slightly. She was eating more as a result of how much more active she was, and her metabolism had sped up as a result of the food she was eating and the strict workout regime. What little fat she'd had on her body was swiftly disappearing, and she could already see that her muscles were becoming more defined. Her body had begun adapting to the workouts too, so she could go through the day's activities without too much pain afterward as long as she followed it up quickly with a long soak in the bath.

She slept much better now, and although she was still plagued occasionally by nightmares of her brother and friends, they were becoming less frequent. As a result of the better sleep, she had more energy during the day. Granted, that extra energy didn't last very long, but at least she had it for her morning meditation and the following self-defense training.

She also saw improvements in the lessons themselves. Where she had struggled on the first day, now she was capable of falling safely from the standard positions. She had better motor control, more physical strength and endurance, and she could judge distances much better now. Makarov had even started her on the basics of punching and kicking without losing her balance—only one type of punch, and one type of kick, but he'd been very clear that simplicity was her best friend right now, and mastery through repetition was more important than finesse or complexity. To her surprise, Romeo also knew the basics up to that point and a little bit beyond, though his physical strength and endurance were still lower than hers due to his younger age and smaller body.

As to the meditation, she'd improved in leaps and bounds, and Makarov had been both surprised and pleased by her progress. He'd exclaimed that she must be a naturally meditative and introspective person, and by the end of the second day, had expanded her training to include sorting out her emotions and contemplating her motives and reasons. Then, two days later, he had added in the last skill, searching for her soul. Today would be her third day working on this lesson, her seventh hour practicing this skill. Unlike the previous steps, searching for her soul didn't come naturally to Roxanne. She hadn't been able to identify what she was actually looking for or where she should be looking until last night, let alone actually find it.

Closing the journal as the food arrived, Roxanne set it to one side as Mira handed her her breakfast. In the past week, her pre-ordered meals hadn't changed. Breakfast was comprised of two eggs on toast, three slices of bacon, a tall glass of orange juice, and a matching glass of milk. Lunch was a little stranger—water to drink was normal enough, but the food itself was Earthland's equivalent of avocadoes, mixed nuts and dried fruits, and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. She'd been mildly surprised to see how similar Eathland's sandwiches were to the ones back home at first, but now she relished their familiarity and always saved them for last.

Dinner was a leafy dark green salad with cucumber slices and tomatoes in it for flavor, rich multi-grain bread with butter, and some kind of very abundant meat dish. Snacks were limited to fruits, usually apples, oranges, and bananas because they were easy to transport and digest. There was a bowl of them in her room, and she usually took one or two with her during training, to be eaten during breaks.

Roxanne had, of course, wondered why Makarov had come up with such a specific menu for her. Eventually, she'd realized it was because she needed it—not only was she still growing, but she was much more active than she'd ever been before. And as much time as he was already spending on her, he didn't have any left to spend on designing a new meal each day for her, especially not one that fulfilled her dietary requirements, so a limited menu it was. Plus, it was less stressful for Mira if she always knew in advance what to make Roxanne.

Roxanne sighed, drinking the last of her juice. Glancing up from her plate, she checked the time and found that she still had a little while before Makarov was supposed to arrive. Retrieving her journal, she skedaddled upstairs. Once in her apartment, she put it away in the end-table by her bed and ran back downstairs. Glancing at the clock again, she went over to Lucy, who'd moved out just the day before.

As Roxanne had expected, she had chosen the waterfront apartment and Roxanne had helped Lucy with the move as much as she could. Which wasn't much, considering how full her days were now. Luckily, since Lucy had so few possessions at this point, it was an easy move. But Roxanne had wanted to help, so Lucy had let her wheel the suitcase and hold a few bags while Lucy had taken care of the paperwork.

Roxanne talked with Lucy until Makarov opened the doors. Seeing the guild master's silhouette in the morning light, she waved goodbye to her friend and raced to her mentor, then the pair set off for their usual training spot.

Once at the park, the two sat down in their places under the tree. There was silence between them. Roxanne had long since learned what was expected of her, and she didn't need to be told what to do anymore. She relaxed into her favorite resting position and closed her eyes, focusing her mind first on slowing her heartbeat and evening out her breathing as she banished thoughts from her mind. Then she began to search for her soul.

Roxanne couldn't explain what she was doing. Words were difficult to fit into such a process. But if words were necessary, then "exploring her mind" fit best. With her eyes closed and her mind quiet, she could focus on searching her mind and her body for her soul. On finding that lump of self that defined who and what she was. She'd thought she'd found it while dreaming last night, somewhere in the center of her body, near what Master Makarov had called her solar plexus, but before she could analyze it the alarm lacrima had given the command to wake up. Today, however, she knew where it was and what to search for.

She found it quickly, lodged just below her ribs between heart and stomach. Now that she had time, she could examine it more closely. To her surprise, it reminded her of the souls in the anime Soul Eater. A fist-sized orb hovering in the center of her being. But her soul glowed much brighter than the clear, soft pulse of light and life she remembered from that show. It was a turquoise/cyan color and the edges were a sharp white. It moved slowly, languidly, but it didn't really change shape or position. It kind of reminded her of water in a glass container. Like a fishbowl. She reached out to it, wanting to dive into it to learn more, hoping she'd learn more about her own personality.

The instant she touched her soul she was ripped from her trance. She opened her eyes with a gasp, feeling her heart race with the force of the sudden awakening. It took her a second to figure out why she'd awakened like that, but then she saw that her hands were submerged in a puddle of frozen water. Ice, though it seemed a bit slushy rather than perfectly hard and solid. Her eyes widened, but no sooner had she opened her mouth to call for Makarov than the ice begin to evaporate around the edges. Not melt, as it should have. It began to evaporate, starting at the edges and working its way inward.

"Master!" she squeaked in dismay, not wanting it to vanish before he could see. “Master, look!"

The old man beside her woke up just soon enough to see the last bit of ice begin to turn to vapor.

"You did it, Roxanne!" he cried, grinning in proud surprise and causing her to blush with pleasure at the praise. "You found your magic. Ice magic. Well done!"

"Ice magic? Really?" Roxanne murmured, staring at her hands in awe. "Ice magic. That means… Gray could be my mentor, couldn't he? Oh my gosh!" She squealed, leaping to her feet in excitement. "Gray should be my mentor!" She squealed again as she hopped around in a circle excitedly. "Gray Fullbuster! Yes!"

"Now, now," Makarov chuckled. "There's more than one type of ice-based magic in the world, you know. Admittedly, Gray's skill with static Ice Make is admirable, but you don't have to limit yourself to that. Mm. Though, since he is available, we might as well have him teach you at least the basics. Heh." A cheeky grin, as he stood up. "Teaching someone else might do that young man some good. He's not the hothead Natsu is, but he can be a bit impulsive at times. A student might steady him a bit."

"Really?!" Roxanne stared at Makarov, full to bursting with excitement. She'd never thought that this would actually happen. Gray had always been her favorite character, and now he was going to be her teacher!

"Really." Makarov patted her shoulder, and Roxanne giggled at the fact that he had to reach up to do so. She wasn't even a big girl for her age! "You've found your magic, so it's time for you to receive your guild stamp and ask Gray to train you. Now, you won't be starting on missions any time soon—"

Roxanne stared at him, confused. "But what about you, Master?" They'd barely been training together for a week.

"Ah, well, I'm afraid my time to teach you personally is at an end," Makarov said gently, guiding her back towards the guild hall. "As much as I've enjoyed teaching someone myself again, you've found your magic and it's time to get you a tutor better suited to your specific needs. However, don't think that you're all done!" He waggled a finger at her. "I taught you the basics of basics—there's a whole lot more to learn, and don't you dare start slacking off just because your teacher changes!"

"No, sir!" Roxanne agreed sharply, shoulders straightening. To be honest, she felt a little sad, knowing their training together was going to end. As hard and exhausting as it had been, she'd seen how pushing herself like that had resulted in great progress, and she'd enjoyed this last week with the guild master. She sort of didn't want that to end. "Master? Will—will I still be able to meditate with you, sometimes?" she asked as they turned onto the guildhall's street.

"Oh, possibly," Makarov said, patting her on the shoulder. "If I have time to spare, I'd like to run through a few of your lessons with you again. But I'll make no promises.

Roxanne smiled. "Thank you, Master." That was all she could hope for.

It was hard to walk at a steady pace. She wanted to bolt ahead, run headlong to the guild and throw open the doors, start gushing to Lucy and Mira about her new magic. But she didn't want to just run off and leave the guild master behind.

When they reached the guild, however, she couldn't contain her excitement anymore. "I did it!" she yelled, shoving the doors open and almost stumbling inside in her haste to tell everyone. "I found my magic!"

The guild erupted into cheers and applause. Roxanne stood there for a moment, smiling and bowing before she made a beeline for Lucy, who had been joined by Natsu, Happy, and Gray since she left.

"Congratulations, Roxanne!" Lucy smiled, patting the child's shoulder. "I knew you could it. I'm so happy for you!"

"Nice going!" Natsu grinned.

"Aye, miss!" Happy chimed in immediately after.

"Thank you!" Roxanne beamed. She turned to look at Gray, feeling suddenly shy. He was also smiling, but in an 'I'm happy for you but playing it cool' kind of way. "It's ice magic, so, um—" She took a deep breath, and grabbed his hands. "Would you please teach me Ice Make? Please? I promise I'll work hard and do everything you say!"

Gray blinked at her, stunned into silence, eyes wide.

Natsu whooped and clapped Roxanne around her shoulders. She accepted another round of 'well done!' from him and Lucy, but her eyes were locked on Gray, her breath held hopefully.

He recovered from his shock quickly, but a myriad of subtle expressions flickered over his face. Surprise was still there, and doubt and worry too. She almost thought she saw a hint of a flattered expression, but it was gone into a kind of not-quite-a-smirk too fast for her to be sure. "I guess I'm the best you've got, huh?" he said, grinning crookedly at her.

Roxanne didn't just beam at the acceptance. She glowed. "Thank you!" she squealed, throwing her arms around his neck as Natsu laughed and Lucy smiled and Happy commented cheerfully on Gray's stunned-again expression.

Once Gray disentangled himself, Lucy handed Roxanne a compact from her purse so she'd have a mirror while Mirajane placed her guild stamp. Roxanne watched as Mira set the stamp over her neck and pressed gently. When she lifted it away, the area glowed for a second before the shape became visible. What set it apart from the other stamps was the color. It matched the color of Roxanne's soul, a beautifully brilliant shade of cyan, with just a hint of turquoise to deepen the color.

She smiled as she examined the mark, getting used to its presence, letting the symbol seep into every corner of her mind. The stamp was hers, and she was a mage, a Fairy Tail mage! Her dream had come true!

Unbidden, tears filled her eyes and she had to put down the mirror to wipe them away. She felt someone hug her and she hugged them back as she cried harder. Even back on Earth, she'd always dreamed of being a Fairy Tail mage. It hadn't been even remotely possible, just a silly fantasy, a game of make-believe that her friends and Jacob had played along with. She'd admired Lucy's will to leave the home that trapped her, had gasped in awe at the glory and wonder of magic, had giggled with her friends over the guild's silly antics, had begged Jacob to let her stay up just a little longer, please, just one more episode—

Even when she'd arrived here, becoming a Fairy Tail mage had seemed a distant dream. Something she could work towards, but still not real. The way thin black outlines weren't real, and flawless skin wasn't real, and flying blue talking cat-people weren't real, and magic wasn't real. It still felt like a dream, and whenever she woke up she was surprised again that it wasn't.

She never would have left her friends and family behind for this, and the week of hard work and self-discovery had been utterly exhausting, but…

This was real. It was really, truly really, the proof of it dyed into her skin.

What else could she do but cry?

Behind her, Natsu hung his head, groaning softly. "Again with the crying," he muttered, too low for Roxanne to hear.

Gray looked at him, one brow raised. This was the first time he'd seen Roxanne cry, and he couldn't tell if these were good tears or bad tears so he let Lucy and Mirajane handle her.

The girls glared at Natsu and rubbed Roxanne's back while everyone else watched.

Makarov remained by the door, watching everything. He was happy for the girl. He'd hoped for—expected—another week or two with her as his apprentice, but he wasn't upset that it had been cut short. Roxanne was a fast learner, and she was dedicated to everything she did, so it had only been a matter of time before she became a mage. To be honest, he was almost unreasonably proud of what the child had accomplished in such a short time. Oh, physically she was learning no faster than any other child of exceptional dedication, but spiritually? Her progress had been astounding, and it had taken quite a bit of willpower not to swell her head with praise, or gush about her progress while he was deep in his cups. The vast majority of his children came to him already knowing their magic in some way. Other than Laxus, he hadn't trained too many into discovering their talents himself, and it had been a very fulfilling experience. He felt a little bit of regret that he couldn't continue her education personally, but this really was the best solution.

After a few minutes, Roxanne seemed to pull herself together. She pulled away from Lucy, wiped her eyes, and flung her arms around Gray's waist, much to his surprise. He stiffened and she didn't have to look up to know that he was probably freaking out a little, not sure how to react. "Thank you," she whispered, and almost immediately felt him relax. She couldn't see his face, but he patted her head a little hesitantly, and she imagined he was smiling.

After a moment, Roxanne broke away from the hug, smiling like crazy. "What's the plan, Master?" she asked, and squealed again just a bit. She had just called Gray her Master, and her fangirl mode was in full swing.

Gray flinched a little. "First off, don't call me that. Gray's fine, okay?" He looked to Makarov, who nodded encouragingly. "Finish today's training with Gramps. Tomorrow I'll have a better answer for you."

"Yes, sir!" she replied eagerly, bouncing in place with a grin before racing off to Makarov, still smiling. He clapped her on the shoulder and led her back out of the guild, talking to her about celebratory ice cream after their exercises.

As soon as they were gone, practically the whole guild swamped Gray.

"Way to step up and be a man!" Elfman said in stout approval.

"How's it feel, having a cute girl apprentice?" That was Wakaba, already rosy-cheeked from drinking.

"Looks like you've got a fan!" Lucy smiled. "I thought she was going to explode for a minute there."

"Don't forget to keep your pants on, Gray!" Mirajane reminded him.

"What's the plan, 'Maaaster'?" Happy teased.

Gray flushed at the attention. "Shut up!" Mastering himself, he stood. "I don't know what I'm going to do yet, so I'm going to go figure it out. If you want to know tomorrow, ask me then," he said firmly and walked off, leaving the guild hall in favor of the silence of the city library.

As for Roxanne, her training continued as usual, mostly. She was too excited to meditate anymore, so they skipped right into the physical aspect of the training, and as Makarov had promised, during their lunch break he bought her ice cream as well. Time flew, and before Roxanne knew it the day was done and Makarov was taking her back to the guild.

When she entered the guild hall, she looked around for Gray and was rather disappointed to not see him. For that matter, she didn't see Happy, Natsu, or Lucy either. Frowning a little, she went to the bar and took a seat. "Hi, Mira." She greeted the older Strauss sibling.

"Hi, Roxanne!"

"Have you seen Natsu, Lucy, Happy, or Gray?"

"Gray left just after you did. He said he was going to make a plan regarding your training."

"Oh. Yeah, that makes sense." And now she felt kind of stupid. Of course that was what he was doing!

"Natsu and Lucy left a few hours ago," Mirajane continued. "Romeo was very worried, because Macao hasn't returned yet, so they left to find him, and rescue him if need be."

"Macao's missing?!" Roxanne exclaimed, not needing to fake her shock. She'd gotten so caught up in her training and finding her magic that she hadn't really thought about the fact that she hadn't seen Macao since that first day. "Oh no! Are they alright?" The Macao Arc had begun, and while she knew the outcome already, that didn't mean she wasn't a little worried.

"I'm sure they're fine," Mirajane assured her. "Natsu and Macao are both strong mages, and I'm sure Lucy is safe with Natsu and Happy."

"Yeah." Roxanne smiled brightly at Mirajane, feeling better. "After all, Natsu is a Dragon Slayer. There's nothing that can take him down when someone he cares about needs him!"

"That's so true," Mirajane laughed, handing Rox her plate. "Now eat up. You've got a big day tomorrow!"

"Yep!" Roxanne beamed at her and bounced in place, trying not to fall off of the tall stool in pure fangirl squee.

Just as she was finishing her food, Romeo entered the guild hall. Roxanne smiled and hopped down from her seat, racing over to the little boy. After a few minutes of mutually reassuring each other that Macao would be fine, since Natsu (and Lucy) were going to rescue him, they started a vigorous game of hide-and-seek. Two hours later, after somehow managing to convince Elfman to play the 'ogre' in their game, they were giggling and hiding under one of the big tables when Wakaba called Romeo to go home. The younger boy pouted a little—or was it sulking when boys did it?—but went along willingly enough, noting that he had homework to finish. Roxanne had been surprised by how dutiful Romeo was when it came to homework.

At that point, Roxanne decided that sleep might be the best idea. She wanted to study Fiorean runes some more—she still couldn't read well, though she at least recognized most of the symbols—but she was just so tired that she didn't think she'd be able to keep her eyes open long enough.

Once she was upstairs, she bathed quickly and changed into her pajamas. She stood between her bed and her desk, debating on skipping a journal entry for that night. In the end, she sat down at the desk. How could she possibly not record today's events?

July 11, x784

What a day it's been! This morning, during meditation with the Master, I found my soul. It was so pretty! It looked like water trapped in a glass ball, but the glass was actually ice! So when I reached out to touch it, I discovered my magic. Ice magic! Gray has agreed to be my mentor and I'm so excited! I don't think I could be happier. After all, I'm Gray Fullbuster's apprentice! We start training tomorrow. What will I be doing? Practicing ice magic for sure, but anything else? Will he make me keep doing my meditations? I found my magic—what else do I need it for? Will I learn how to really fight, not just fall, or punch air? I wonder what will change tomorrow. I have to say, though, I'm kind of sad to not be training with Master Makarov anymore. It was actually kind of fun, even if it was tiring. He had me doing all kinds of stuff so it was always a challenge, but nothing ever really changed too much so I got better and better every day. I wonder what Gray will have me do?

Oh, also, the Macao Arc began today. I wonder how much longer it will be until the Galuna Island arc? I hope not too soon. I shudder just thinking about the pain that is in store for Gray. And Lucy, and all of my friends when their arcs come! But Edolas is gonna be great! That's when Lisanna comes back! Natsu and Happy are gonna be so happy, and so will Elfman and Mirajane. Oh, I hope I'm not pulled out of the lacrima along with Gray. I'm not a very fast runner, so I'd have a hard time avoiding the Edolas soldiers. And I don't know if I'll even know how to fight properly by then. Oh no! What am I going to do during the Tenrou Island Arc?! That's seven years without Gray, Lucy, Natsu, Happy, and Mira and Makarov! How will I train if I'm by myself? I'm too tired to think about it too much tonight, so it'll have to be later. I'm really tired! But I'm not sure how well I'll sleep. I mean, I'm bone-tired, but I'm also so excited and hyper! Fangirl mode is in full swing and I'm not sure I'll be able to turn it off. Gray is my master! Squee! Well, I might as well try to sleep, I guess. Maybe I'll meditate in bed. Maybe I'll end up falling asleep as I stare at my soul. Okay, that sounds kinda creepy. Hee!

#Fairy Tail #Dawn of Change #Roxanne Simmons #Makarov Dreyar

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