#thinking about how I discovered so many things about myself as an autistic person because of this whacky woman

[angeltannis]

Thinking about how Tannis says she sees most people as just a jumble of colors and shapes. Faceblind icon

#thinking about how I discovered so many things about myself as an autistic person because of this whacky woman #borderlands #Tannis #was thinking about this bc I just got stopped for a friendly conversation with a guy at work I’d never seen in my life LOL

[kayas-kosmos]

Autism Symbol Dragon.

This is the autism symbol as a dragon. I did this to represent the influence my autism has on my art. This is a public domain drawing and anyone can use it for any reason.

I really like the infinity autism symbol over all others, especially the Godawful puzzle piece. It really encapsulates the diversity of our community and how unique every autistic individual is. But I wanted to do a little spin on it by turning it into a dragon to add some extra meaning. A dragon to me is the symbol of the imagination itself, since dragons are so diverse in of themselves and can look like or represent anything. But as well as imagination, I think the dragon also represent resilience and a ferocious passion.

My webcomic is absolutely full of different types of dragon. Here are just a few examples:

(Can you tell dragons are one of my special interests?)

I was diagnosed at about 3 and I've had a very mixed relationship with being autistic until recently. There was a time when I really hated having to bear the label of “autistic” and tried for years to erase that part of me because of the stigma. Being an artist allowed me to get away with being a bit weird because I could chalk it up to just being "an eccentric artist," but there was also the side of me that needed extra accommodations and help, the less glamorous side. I would often push myself to be as neurotypical as I could in these areas and I developed a debilitating fear of becoming a burden on others, to the point where it started damaging my mental health. Eventually, I developed panic attacks due to overworking myself (and struggles with accepting myself as queer), autistic shutdowns became more frequent and this lead to further humiliation and a further disgust towards my autism.

It wasn't until I became a freelancer a few years ago that I realised how much damage trying to hold myself to neurotypical standards was having on me. While being able to work remotely was a dream since it meant not having to deal with the sensory nightmare that is using the local bus service, it also meant I experienced autistic burnout more frequently. Then I came across the autistic community on Twitter, where I started to discover so much about myself and how my brain works.

I also made a lot of incredible friends through this and even had the courage to publicly come out as queer. Now I fully embrace being autistic, even the parts that society deems “unacceptable” like stimming and not making eye contact. I am happy in who I am and no longer see myself as a burden.

Sadly, there is often a discussion about whether autism should be cured or not, a discussion that should absolutely not be happening because autism is not a disease. If you "cured" my autism, you would also remove my art. My art and my autism are inseparable and one does not exist without the other. Autism has given me the ability to think outside the box and traits like my monotropism allow me to hyperfocus on a project until its completion. Having spoken to many autistic creatives throughout my life, a good chunk of our struggles do not come from being autistic itself, rather society’s refusal to accept or accommodate us. Many of us could achieve great things and truly innovate society, but there are too many systemic barriers in the way preventing us from doing so, and no amount of “hard work” or “conquering our disability” (fuck inspiration porn, seriously) can change that because individualistic solutions do not fix systemic problems. Simple solutions such as disability benefits that actually properly cover our living costs, a higher wage for carers of disabled people and proper work accommodations (including the option for remote work) would mean the world of difference for us.

Now personally, I am a bit more radical in my thinking and I believe the current system of Neoliberal Capitalism needs to be done away with entirely because ableism is built into Capitalism itself. This is what has drawn me to ideas such as anarchism and the Solarpunk movement. In particular, I try to live by the "12 principles of Permaculture" to the best of my ability. I think "Embrace Diversity" and "Produce No Waste" can be applied to living as a disabled person, since disabled people are often seen as a waste product under this system and embracing our differences means we are not wasted.

For those of you who have followed me for a while, you may have noticed that my art, like me, is weird. I love to embrace the weird and the quirky. My creatures are whimsical and bizarre. My characters all tend to be quirky outsiders. I have always been drawn to surrealism and absurdism, the work of Salvador Dali in particular really caught my attention.

Art has always been a safe way for me to explore the unusual and alien, and it has been a voice for me when speaking words fail. I use it to explore the things that frighten me and to help process a chaotic world. As weird as my art is, I think the weirdness and absurdity is a reflection of how weird and absurd our modern world is and how little sense it makes to me anymore.

There are often themes of environmentalism and the profound beauty of nature, influenced heavily by growing up in an area of natural beauty. Furthermore, the theme of "empathy for monsters" is a personal favourite. Maybe the reason why there are so many weird, twisted and grotesque monsters and creatures with tragic backstories in my webcomic universe is because I see myself in them - just weird little off-putting things that want compassion and to be understood.

As I have grown as a person, so has my art. The more I learn about my autism, the more I can open up and the better I can express myself.

On a final note, if you would like to support me and the work I do, please consider donating a Ko-Fi. It would really help me push towards my goal of finally launching my webcomic, plus it would also allow me to talk more about important topics surrounding disability, sustainable living and art/creature stuff.

Happy new year, everyone! And especially to all of my autistic and neurodivergent comrades out there.

#autism #actually autistic #neurodivergent #queer autistic #autistic artist #fantasy artist #digital artist #fantasy illustration #autism symbol #infinity symbol #creature design #dragon art #dragon artist #autistic art #autism art #permaculture #solarpunk

[velvet-vox]

The paradoxical nature of Qilby: part 2

Going back to the end of the previous part where I declared Qilby an autism icon, it came to me the realisation that autism is really the only way to justify some of Qilby's actions and odd behaviour; as a big brother and autistic person myself I also would force the people I care about to engage in my interests, I understand on a subconscious level that what I am doing is wrong, but I just care about it so much that I need to share it with them at all costs.

(Even though I would never go as far as starting a war with another species just to force my race to go on a family trip with me).

And like, no offence to Yugo or the Elatrope council but it is my theory that all the Yugo haters have begun popping up due to some people head cannon that him and his family is inadvertently ableist, which (although I might agree considering their dynamic and who their mother is) I don't think it's completely warranted; as someone else pointed out if mental health and psycho analysis existed in the Krosmoz then Nox would have never come to be; if somebody explained what autism is to Yugo then maybe he would be more lenient on Qilby (or maybe not, after all he is his brother), Nora also doesn't know about autism but she is more accepting of Qilby's oddities even if she doesn't like them, and Qilby SURE AS HECK DOESN'T KNOW WHAT AUTISM IS.

Side note: Shinonome is not necessarily autistic, since my sister understands me perfectly and she isn't on the autism spectrum herself, but she clearly has inherited her more passive personality from her mother while Qilby has probably taken more from his father meaning that even if she was she probably wouldn't go about it in the boisterous manner of his twin.

However all of this is just a head canon and not the focus of this post. What I instead want to point out and analyse is the list-like approach of Qilby to anything and how that reflects the way many autistic people approach mostly every conflict in their life. Let me explain:

The way this list-like methodology works is entirely centered around a priority system, so basically Qilby schematizes in his head what he needs to do and say in which order and he has to follow it religiously in order to get anything done, so like on his to do list there is:

First: Confront Adamai and Grougal. Second: Get Rushu's army and alliance. Third: Confront Yugo and Phaeris and take them out. Fourth (interchangeable with third): Get the Dofus. Fifth: Go the Emrumb to get the children. And Sixth: Leave the planet.

And he has to do them in this order because this is the way that he has envisioned them.

This is also reflected in the way that he goes about science and space travel: he reaches a planet, discovers his species, analyses them, classifies them, compartmentalizes them, collects some, rinse and repeat in the next world.

And finally, I want to bring up his two most famous sentences of season 4 to showcase how this priority based thought process carries on to his speech pattern and family view.

"My dear Yugo, we are brothers, before being enemies"

See?

Qilby realises on his relationship list that Yugo is its enemy, but that before that he is its brother, that's what has the biggest priority for him in this moment and in general. But that's not even the most interesting part:

"Farewell Yugo. My brother, my king."

This phrase of course has been plastered all over the fanbase, but like.... did anybody ever think about how weird this sentence is? You would expect Qilby to say brother as his last word, as a final acceptance nod to the fact that deep down he does care about Yugo. But no. Instead he says:

"Good luck"(the situation's dramatic, so he's giving Yugo an encouragement as the first thing)

"My brother,"(Yugo is his demigod brother born from another Dofus)

"My king."(lastly, Yugo is also his king, as sentenced by Chibi in a previous life)

Qilby could have just called Yugo brother as his last word to show that he cares, but instead he decides to call him king, a title that means very little to him on their relationship chart, to show that he values him so much that he is going to use a term that means very little to him just to let Yugo know that he is willing to acknowledge the part of their brotherhood that he doesn't care about as a substitute acceptance nod to the aspect of their dynamic that he values the most.

<<<<Previous part

#wakfu yugo #wakfu season 2 #wakfu qilby #wakfu season 4 #wakfu adamai #wakfu grougaloragran #wakfu phaeris #wakfu shinonome #krosmoz #ankama #autism #autistic traits #autistic trauma #wakfu nora #wakfu nox #wakfu eliatrope #wakfu chibi #wakfu

[swoosbadfuture]

ian mckinley (FD3) is autistic here's why

i orginally wrote this for twitter for autism awareness day but my friend said to post it on tumblr so . throws this to the masses no particular order im kinda just rambling . i have autism myself a lot of this will be relating to My personal exprience being autistic and why Ian sticks out to me and is a character I feel seen by :) -- Ian seems to have low empathy for others. Not that he doesn't care - he very much does and I will get to that too - but rather he struggles to relate to people on an emotional level prefering to use logic instead of emotion. Hell his first line in the movie is he alongside Erin trying to reassure Wendy that she'll be fine on the rollercoaster.

Though unlike Jason, their approach is more logic and reason based. Using facts and logic to communicate their point > saying something like "hey, it's okay to feel scared, but you'll be fine". And like many autistic people including myself who do this it's kinda regarded as him being rude/a smartass by those around him. When his intentions were entirely the opposite and he was actually just trying to be helpful.

Something personally I relate to a lot. I've been told countless times that I "don't need to be a smartass" when just trying to use logic to deflate a problem because, to me, it makes more sense than being emotional about it.

Ian trying to find logic in things is shown again in the scene where Wendy and Kevin come to warn he and Erin about death's design. Ian is completely opposed to the idea that death could possibly be a thinking or feeling entity. Again he isn't trying to be a smartass or be sassy about it, just trying to work out what the fuck Wendy and Kevin are on about because to him? It makes no logical sense.

He's very rooted in his beliefs and even when he choses to humour Wendy and Kevin he still takes a logical approach and tries to make sense of it in a way that makes sense to him. Even coming up with a solution that would seem most logical.

And yet again, he's treated like a bit of an asshole for it. It's not like he grabbed Wendy and shook her and told her to die no he just accepts this. He might have low empathy but he's still understanding.

Ian actually seems to care a lot about people. Especially Erin, who he's closest to in the movie, but this care extends even to Ashley and Ashlyn. Who he very likely wasn't friends with judging by how he and Erin laugh at them when they try to invite Wendy to the tanning salon.

But he cares, still, and has a very strong sense of justice. His interruption at the funeral is a prime example of this. You can see him dwelling on it for a moment before he speaks. He's not speaking up because he wants the attention, he's not trying to cause drama, he's just upset. Because to him, even as people who he wasn't close with, Ashley and Ashlyn's deaths were unfair and the fact that someone is trying to suggest otherwise just set him off.

If he was doing it for attention or to cause drama he would've put up more of a fight when Kevin and Lewis got him to leave. But he doesn't. He's probably pretty aware that what he did was wrong but the need to speak up outweighed that in the moment. Something again that I can relate to heavily. If something is unfair you will know about it. And people with autism often have strong senses of justice.

Ian also has very few people he's close with. Erin being his closest friend possibly even Only. Hence why her death impacted him as much as he did. He may not have been Wendy's best friend or anything but he did trust her and get along with her. So when Erin dies - a death that only occurs because Wendy interrupted his death causing it to skip to Erin - it feels like a betrayal. An injustice against someone he cared deeply about.

And that feeling of betrayal coupled with the fact Erin died so awfully is what drives him to act so irrationally.

His whole thing at the tricentennial was almost like a meltdown or at the very least an all-reason-out-the-window moment and god as someone who's autistic and frequently misunderstood by people / misunderstanding people leading to moments of severe anger and lashing out... i get it man i get you Ian.

Think. Erin died horribly less than 24 hours ago. It's fresh in his mind. He's focused so so heavily on Wendy being there, thinking about how unfair it is. Wondering "Why could Wendy save me but not Erin?". He's acting irrationally, he isn't thinking. Hell he sounds like he's on the verge of crying. And again I get it I GET that. When I feel something wrong has been done to me / someone I love I tend to fixate on that person and place blame onto them and act very irrationally about it.

Lastly I'm also 99% sure Ian never makes direct eye contact with anyone in this movie for longer than 5 seconds. So.

He's just a bit silly and him being autistic means a lot 2 me. end of thread . god hes just like me for real.

#autism awareness day #final destination #final destination 3 #ian mckinley #ian final destination #literally THE autistic character #the autistic rep I needed #hes so silly #horror movies

[seraphinesupremacy]

🫧Hi🫧

Name: call me Dia💎

Age: I was born in 2002 and I'm too lazy to update my age every year💅

Nationality: Italian (English is not my first language so I might make some grammatical errors)

🏳️‍🌈: I'm a pansexual and demisexual/demiromantic girl (I use she/they pronouns)

MBTI: ENTJ (Don't stereotype me. I'm just really into doing things right and I like to have a plan for everything. I always try to find a solution to people's problems)

Something about me: I'm autistic 🪐 and I'm very extroverted, I like to socialize and meet new people. So if we have any interests in common, feel free to write to me🌌 (Read the continuation to find out more about me and what I post, it's important. Thank you)

(I made this edit using picsart stickers that represent my interests and something about me)

🎮Favorite video games:

•League of Legends (I play on the European server)

•Wildrift

•Valorant (I don't play it that much because I'm not very good)

•Overwatch

•Team Fortress 2

•Life is strange (this game made me realize I'm not straight)

•Detroit Become Human

•Danganronpa (I discovered this thanks to tik tok during the pandemic. It was very trendy at the time)

•The last of us

•The Sims 3/4 (I never had the chance to play the previous ones)

🍿My favorite TV series are:

•Shameless

•Love, Death & Robots

•Bojack Horseman

•Arcane

•She-Ra and the Princesses of Power

•Hazbin Hotel

•Helluva Boss (I know it's a series that can be found on YouTube but I didn't want to make a separate category)

•South Park

🎼Singers I like:

•Melanie Martinez (my queen)

•Mitski

•Ariana Grande

•Ashnikko

•Kali Uchis

•Madison Beer

•Girl in Red

•Marina and the diamonds

•KDA ("Akali that girl, 'kali go grr 'Kali don't stop, 'kali don't skrt 'Kali got a job, 'kali go to work 뜨거워 언제나 don't get burnt" 🗣🗣🗣)

•Gorillaz

•Queen

•Molchat Doma

•Arctic Monkeys

•Mother Mother

•Jack Stauber

•Cavetown

•TV girl

•Bo Burnham

I actually listen to a lot of artists but I don't remember them all c:

🫧Things I like:

•Lost media

•Liminal space

•Dreamcore

•Nostalgiacore

•History of cinema (especially animated films)

•Psychology (and all other branches of this science. I also love anthropology and sociology)

•Travel and discover new places

•Everything that has to do with creativity (Drawing, writing stories and fanfiction, creating things like accessories for your clothes and such very cute things. I really admire people who can repaint dolls)

•Having fun (going out with my friends, watching films - if they're trashy films it's even better -, sending each other memes and tik tok videos and things like that)

🪷Hobby:

•Cosplay (Especially cosplaying my comfort characters)

•Drawing (I haven't drawn seriously since 2020. I'm waiting for inspiration)

•Collecting dolls (I love Monster High, Ever After High, Rainbow High and L.O.L O.M.G. I also collect Funko pops and figures from other brands. I also have many books and comics -which I have to finish reading because there are too many-)🧸

•Roleplay (Doing roleplay with me means that I have already organized the whole plot. But I also listen to the other person's ideas)

•Find out about the topics that interest me (Most of the time they have to do with culture. I'm a very curious person and I love to inform myself)

💿What I post on Tumblr:

•Things about my fandoms (Mostly I repost cute icons and wallpapers. Sometimes I make some wallpapers. Maybe start writing some headcanons)

•Positivity (Especially mental health or pride posts about being a member of the LGBT community. Be yourself🌈Be unique)

•Random things (I don't know how to explain this category. I could write something like "I'm looking for people who like this song, does anyone remember this movie? etc" or I answer some questions. Sometimes I also reposted something related to when I feel down, but they are old things and I don't think of posting them again because I prefer to think about good things and find the positive side)

•Aesthetics (If I see some nice photo of a sunset or the sky, I immediately repost it because I feel like it. I also post a lot of things related to nostalgia because as I said before I like the "nostalgiacore" aesthetic. And I'm very nostalgic, they were beautiful times when the only worry was "which Winx character am I?")

•My posts are tagged "Dia's post"

🔞If you are a minor, do not interact. I'm a girl from 2002 so I have young adult maturity‼️ For adults (because I know we are not all the same and not everyone likes some things) I would like to point out some things that I could reblog: I might reblog paintings or sculptures with naked people BUT also drawings with people semi-naked or shown in a sexy way. The artists I refer to are: Fumetti Brutti by Josephine Yole Signorelli and EvviArt. They are the only ones I follow but it is to make you understand what type of art I like. I could reblog posts where sexual topics are written: from the classic "use protection when having s3x" or raise awareness about some topics related to this theme. I want people to be informed about some aspects of this topic (I'm not talking about p0rnographic things ) such as the importance of using protection and above all how important consent is. I don't reblog kink-related stuff or explicit porn because it's not a topic of interest to me. And I don't even have kink because s3x isn't a topic that interests me. It doesn't shock me to hear about NSFW things (it disgusts me if disturbing topics are included in this topic). Many of my interests (TV series or video games and things like that) involve adult themes.🔞

🧜‍♀️Comfort characters:

•Jinx (League of legends/Arcane. She is my main and for certain things I see myself in her)

•Seraphine (League of Legends. didn't like her at first but I love her gameplay. And I think she has the best skins -along with Jinx, of course-)

•Evelynn (League of Legends. She's a Goddess)

•Chloe Price (Life is strange. She made me understand that I like women too. I love this punk)

•Sunset Shimmer (Equestria Girls. She is one of the few ENTJs to be a positive character. I really like how her character has evolved)

•Reagan Ridley (Inside Job. We are very similar in certain things)

•Entrapta (She ra. I love this chaotic neutral autistic scientist princess. Again, I see myself in her)

•Kotori Minami (Love Live! When I was in middle school this was my favorite anime)

•Dia Kurosawa (Love Live! Sunshine. Love Live is an anime that accompanied me as I grew up. I'm very fond of it)

❕️I'm looking for young adult people like me (young adult means being over 18 and under 30). I have no problem with NSFW (I prefer artistic nudity) and I have no problem with swearing. I have a certain maturity so I want to interact with people like that.❕️

‼️ This is my safe space🗣 SO DO NOT INTERACT WITH ME IF YOU ARE: racist, homophobic, transphobic and against the LGBT community, do not interact if you are a pedophile and if you harm animals. Don't interact if you are against feminism (which I remind you, means gender equality), don't interact if you are people with ideas of hatred and discrimination. No ignorant people about mental health or what is happening in the world, because we are in 2024 and we need to have a minimum of culture. If you think abortion is murder, I would say you can also go elsewhere because I support women's rights and human rights in general. In general, don't interact if you are a person with bad ideas (that kind of bad ideas. Go away)‼️

🌟Talk to me if you are a normal person (and if you're nice and send funny memes. Or if you want to talk about some fandom in common or something. We can also play some video games together or talk about philosophical things like "what's the point of life?" or things like "do aliens exist?")🌟

#about myself #mutuals #get to know me #gamergirl #gorillaz #team fortress 2 #love yourself #idk what im doing #actually autistic #monster high #doll collector #i love fictional men #i like girls too #multi fandom blog #intro post #blog intro #league of legends

[theultimatenonbinarynerd]

Death In Paradise And How The Show or Shows Have Unknowingly Made Beautiful Autism Representation An Eassay By An Autistic Person

Introduction

I never get this personal or sappe but hi I'm Mel and just recently I got my Autism diagnosis. Recently I've been trying to discover who I am and what parts were just lies after realising i have been making and trying to imitate and please people my entire life.

I started watching Death In Paradise at the end of Season 10 my Mum had it on the tv and I thought it was interesting so I started watching. I then watched the first Christmas special and fell in love even more before giving season 11 a watch. Really loved all the characters and especially loved the characters, the visuals and the mystery aspect. Infact it made murder mysteries/who dunnits become one of my special interests. Started watching Beyond Paradise and some of the earlier seasons with Richard Poole.

Two things have made me realise why I probably love Death In Paradise since I have gotten my Autism diagnosis.

1: I was discussing the series finale with a fan who has sadly but understandably deleted their twitter account about how all the DI'S especially Neville when he was flashing back to the scene he was arrested found myself relatable as I replay my memories like that.

2: Martha's breakup monologue as heartbreaking as it was to Humphrey because she's absolutely out of line since they could adopt but her gut reaction is absolutely right. She has treated Humphrey appallingly not communicating with him about his feelings till that moment and not being honest with Humphrey resulting in him being dishonest in return. I am a people pleaser and will often think about others happiness before my own and Humphrey impulsively agreeing to move to Shipton Abbott is a good example as he really struggled setting in. Martha is right Humphrey is awkwardly nice to everyone even the police commissioner who I would have no patience with.

Now I realise that I am invested in these shows not just for the mysteries and the who dunnit element but to see Autistic people like me have human struggles in a very stressful job.

Even though I'm on a very different career path to all the DI'S as an Autistic person I think all the DI's are Autistic and show their own unique struggles. This is why I fell in love with the character of the Doctor to. If the DI'S aren't cannon Autistic they're definitely Autistic coded and it's my headcannon and I'm over riding the bbc on this one because when we see the way Autism is represented on screen within other white male characters I can see that Neville, Jack, Humphrey and Richard ain't no Rainman or Sheldon Cooper or Good Doctor which is why I feel so represented through these characters.

So with from what I've seen I would like to break down each DI that has been on the show and essentially justify why I have head cannoned all of the DI'S as Autistic.

1: DI Richard Poole

There are so many things that make me think he's Autistic I'm up to S2 Episode 7 of Death In Paradise as I'm wanting to catch up and as soon as this man came on screen I knew that there was no way in heck that Richard Poole is just neurodivergent grumpy english man as Camille would put it. One of the episodes I related to was Season 2 Episode 5 because if there's one thing I struggle with as an Autistic person its giving people the correct comfort they need.

Which links perfectly to my first point.

1: Richard And Emotion

Constantly throughout the first two seasons we see Richard struggle to communicate his emotions and hide how he's feeling. When sad things come up in s2 ep 5 and when he's asked to hold baby Rosie for the first time he struggles to display how he's truly feeling and how best to react. It shines especially when he asks Dwayne how he comforted Camille. I think Season 2 Episode 6 and Episode 5 was the first time we'd properly seen Richard sort of embrace the sand and open up emotionally.

2: Sensory Needs

Similar to Neville he makes it very clear that he does not enjoy the loud festivals on the island. He seems most comfortable up in his shack secluded reading a good book and chilling out.

He also seems to wear no summer clothes on the island as despite the heat he only seems comfortable with suits. Personally I struggle with being in bare t shirts and shorts so I can definitely relate to the fact. Richard seems definitely like one of those people who doesn't climatise for the summer and will not wear coats in the winter.

Overall an absolutely amazing relatable character.

2: DI Humphrey Goodman

I haven't gotten to S3 with Humphrey yet but I can also see relatable Autistic Representation in him. This is all based on from what I've seen in Beyond Paradise Humphrey wants to please and get on with everyone so he often hides his own emotions and puts others first. I can also see that he stims, forgets stuff if there's a change in routine and burnout hits him hard. I think he was partly burnout as the falling out with Martha must have been quite exhausting.

Masking is a huge thing with Humphrey so in my head cannon I think people including Humphrey have dismissed him being Autistic as just him being quirky. In my opinion the beyond paradise finale and episode five showed just how much Humphrey represses his emotions and then when it comes to burst it's bad.

1: Masking and Socializing

Humphrey throughout the beyond paradise series constantly tries to hide his uncomfortableness with Archie being around and his feelings about Martha stopping IVF. I know he came around and was sincere in the finale but I honestly think he wanted to pretend he felt ok with it so he wouldn't lose Martha.

Social wise he is also very awkward with people and struggles to communicate what he wants them to feel. Fights and conflicts seem to also exhaust Humphrey. Talking to Esther in Episode Five he admits he doesn't know how to feel about Martha not wanting kids and can't stop thinking about it. Infact he's so distracted by his fight with Martha that he can barely help Esther with the case. I'm often overwhelmed with socialising and go away to relax and think things through is definitely a coping mechanism I use.

2: Stiming And Info-Dumping

A form of stiming I picked up from Doctor Who was flapping my hands about when I'm talking and rambling. Humphrey out of all of the detective's seems to do this the most even when not talking about the solutions to a case.

He also is very passionate when talking about his special interests. I also think the way in the beyond paradise series he pictures the crime in his head and relives it whilst explaining it to Esther is very not neurotypical I view memories and emotions in my head like that sometimes.

Overall a very relatable character regarding his social skills and his need to people please.

3: DI Jack Mooney

This is going to be very short as I haven't seen much of Jack Mooney due to the fact I'm on S2 of my Death In Paradise rewatch but even the three episodes I watched whilst it was rerunning alongside Beyond Paradise I got very not neurotypical vibes from him.

The episode where he's rooming with Dwayne shows his struggle to interrupt other people's emotions, read social cues and understand the right moment to intrude on a conversation. It's absolutely hilarious when he just walks in on Darlene and Dwaynes date without considering that it's not an appropriate time. Not to mention when he interrupted Dwayne from his shower.

Through all three episodes I saw I can tell that he really struggles with grief so Florence is a good friend that he can consol. She helps him realise what stuff might make the shack feel more comfortable and friendly, like having a record player etc.

If any Autistic DIP fans want to reblog this and share their own thoughts about why they headcannon Jack as Autistic.

4: DI Neville Parker

Ah Neville Parker a character that I can definitely see myself in especially after season 12. Although I started watching from half of season 10 I still have enough reasoning to justify my headcannon. The way Neville organisises his meds and takes rejection from other people shows. Although you don't have to be Autistic to experience and anxiety Neville from what I've seen definitely overlaps with both.

Similar to Richard he seems to really struggle with the environment but at least have the sense to not where his blazer all the time and change into island built clothes off shift. Season 12 shows that Neville has adapted so well to the island that if he was put anywhere else like a prison cell its nerve racking and difficult for him. Not to mention from my own experience I've switched off when I'm sad or when something too difficult to process has happened and Neville does just that at the end of S12 through the Sophie or should I say Rebecca situation.

1: Lack Of Red Flags + Social Cues

Season 12 showed that because of Nevilles desire to have a relationship with someone and get over Florence he was unable to ignore the red flags about Sophie until he was in jail for her murder. Ok I'm pretty sure not all of the neurotypical Death In Paradise fans didn't fall for Sophies scheme but like Neville I truly felt no bad vibes from her until the very end. I haven't seen the red flags till to late and its costs me my mental health.

Neville seems to really struggle how to communicate his feelings as also seen by his crush on Florence.

2: Stimming + Special Interests

Throughout the show Neville is very rigid he fidgets and waves his arms about enthusiastically when he has found out who the killer is.

Throughout the show we can also see that Neville is a passionate reader and loves Star gazing. He was absolutely thrilled to info dump about the famous star gazer that has been unalived. We see he struggles with stuff outside of his limits and will glady lovingly share fun fact with his team.

3: Emotions/Shutdown

As mentioned Neville tends to become quiet when he's upset and shutdown. We can see throughout the case in episode 8 he's not entirely there till he confronts Sophie for the final time.

Neville insanely loses his enthusiasm and energy after he's arrested. If you look back he does not instigate any of the conversations whilst he's in the cell unless it's Sophie. Most people would react screaming and yelling when arrested but Neville is just too shocked to move. As an Autistic person I've had a shutdown only once but I definitely relate that if I was arrested I would just be frozen in panic not wanting to upset anyone.

Being quiet seems to be one of Nevilles best coping skills when something immensely stressful has happened.

Again when he had that freeze frame recalling when he was arrested and who could have switched the keys it seemed very relatable and not neurotypical. Not to mention a lot of Autistic people have a high sense of justice which could explain Neds fearless anger and frustration at the end of Ep 7.

Conclusion

I think even if coded having Autistic representation that's not cis white man super intelligent with no struggles is impactful its also why I want a black or biracial DI on the show as it would be even more impactful.

Honestly all the DIS being Autistic or on the neurodiverse spectrum as a whole adds to alot of the fish out of water element of the show.

I highly encourage reblogs as i assume I'm not the only autistic or neurodivergent fan of the show.

-Melody-

They/Them

#beyond paradise #death in paradise #humphrey goodman #neville parker #richard poole #jack mooney #beyond paradise spoilers #actually autistic #neurodivergent

[thalyagame2006]

Man, 2023 wasn't a good year for me at all, I dare say it was one of the worst, I think it even surpassed 2022 because they were both difficult. 2023 was one of the most stressful years I've ever had with the history of so many problems that I had and overwhelmed myself this year, such as complicated friendships, meeting very difficult and dramatic new people, overworked work on drawings, school stress, low self-esteem with the my school performance, stress with family and plans that I never had the opportunity to carry out this year (I only managed to carry out 50% of my plans, but the other 50% were the ones I most wanted to work on before the end of the year), So yeah... I can say that this year was a nightmare for me...

But still, there were good things this year, even though 2023 was terrible, I still managed to enjoy good moments, like reconciliation with some people, meeting new people, new friendships that luckily had a group of people who were very good people and healthy, I joined a new small Fandom that I was very well accepted, I learned a new second style of relaxing and fun art, I went to the psychologist for the first time and it helped me a lot (I was able to vent about my life and at the same time study about my psychology and my way of being) and it also made me discover myself as level 1 autistic (of course I had low self-esteem about this for a while, but later I understood my way of being human better) and I was able finally starting to put myself first lately for my psychological sake!♡

I don't wish anyone, anyone at all, to go through the horrible and complicated things that I had to deal with in 2023, I'm not 100% strong enough to say that I know how to get by on my own, but I can already say that I started to get along more value and respecting myself and my limits! And also this 2023 was the year in which I had an existential crisis because it seemed like it passed quickly and at the same time it seemed like it took about 2 years to reach its end lol

But anyway, I wish you all a Happy New Year, may you have a year of peace, tranquility, comfort, calm and lots of love with yourselves and those you love to be with!!! May God guide you in this 2024 and may he take good care of you, I want this new year to be the least traumatic and the least stressful, and I'm already preparing myself for whatever happens hahaha

And well, unfortunately I celebrate late compared to you because of my time difference, and I wish you all a wonderful new year, may 2024 be the most pleasant and least difficult year for all of us to shine and achieve our goals !!! May God guide and illuminate each of your lives and help you on your path!! And even though some may be atheists, I won't judge, I still wish everyone lots of love and luck in this new year with lots of love and affection, peace, prosperity, evolution in character and personal hobbies and much more...

...Happy 2024 and happy holidays guys~ 🥳🎉✨️🎊🎆

#happy new year #happy new year 2024 #2024 #my art #artists on tumblr #digital art #new art style #drawing #draw #my draw #my drawing #art #my artwork #oc #original character #my oc #my original character

[the-casbah-way]

the popular conventionally attractive girl to gay transmasc pipeline is wild. i literally have recurring dreams about the times popular guys would hit on me and they’d put on that false facade of kindness that only really goes knee deep and of me feeling that really specific form of validation and safety that came with it that most definitely boils down to severe daddy issues. that feeling you’d get KNOWING that some dude your friends thought was hot was into you was like a drug to me and the only thing i have discovered that is far more powerful and important and meaningful is trans joy and gender euphoria and diy’ing your body into something none of your abusers have touched or known and learning for the first time that you can do whatever you want to yourself because of what YOU think is beautiful and not what random cis men that you don’t even like would want to see instead. i don’t know how to explain it but it’s so weird to have experienced both ends of this spectrum. i still find it hard to cope when i remember that the majority of people find me ugly and i get rude homophobic things yelled at me in the street because even though i’ve changed in so many ways my actual personality is still the same as it was back when i was a popular girl. i never fit in with the main girl clique that i kept getting invited into and i preferred to stick with my own group instead because i was this weird autistic faggot who liked drawing warrior cats fanart and singing undertale fan songs out loud unironically in the locker room before gym but because of how i looked people just didn’t care. like i was allowed to be one of them anyway purely because of insanely stupid things like the fact i had really long blonde hair or the fact that the token rugby boy at school had a crush on me. it’s so weird that i’m the same person as i was back then but now those very same cis people who loved me hate me because of how i look and how i want to live and shit like that. i’m really glad i freed myself from that obsession with being desired as a friend and as a sexual object but i sometimes forget that the way i’m perceived has changed so much because i feel so much more familiar with and at home in my body now that i can’t even remember that i looked different before

#and obviously like i know i was still privileged even if i was closeted and autistic #and i know that even now i’m still white and skinny and stuff like that so i’m STILL privileged #i just don’t see many people with my experience and it’s weird adjusting to the change in the way you’re perceived overall #it’s weird because i’m the closest i’ve ever been to something that i could possibly find attractive #and when i first came out i felt so attractive #so it was weird when everyone switched up on me and was like “ew”

[fierceawakening]

Reality check time: Is it okay, given that I'm Christian (basically, weirdly--I don't think gods exist but I think the religious traditions I grew up with are personally useful to me so I follow most of them), to feel REALLY UNCOMFORTABLE when posts go around Jumblr that are all about how ex-Christian atheists only exist because of a particular feature of Christian-dominated culture? Because I just read a post that said "you're all supercessionists" and I feel so uneasy.

I can only speak for myself and my own becoming an atheist (and later deciding religious practice is good for me even though I'm pretty sure God is something we made up, and therefore it's random and unimportant which one anyone worships if at all.)

But for me, it wasn't so much "I don't like this religion because it tells me not to be gay and kinky. Therefore I dislike all religion."

It was

"I'm already not sure there's a god, and therefore uneasy anyway, but WHY does god tell me not to be gay and kinky?"

"Tradition."

"What's the value of tradition?"

"...what kind of a question is that?"

"Oh, I'm doing that neurodivergent thing where you say a concept-word and I don't understand it and we can't even talk because you assume I do. 'Tradition' is weird meaningless neurotypical for 'There is a script. I don't care how it got here. It is my script.'"

"Yes?"

"Then fuck 'tradition.' Scripts should not be arbitrary."

"Whoa, you're scary and spiteful.... Say, what do you think of other religions?"

"Do they use 'tradition?'"

"That's pretty much all they are, if you don't think gods are real."

"Then I do not like them."

While it's true that for some reason, queer Jews don't seem to do the "Why is this rule here?" "Tradition." "Then tradition is bad." thing, I... feel like the queer Jews who DO find value in tradition come up with all these weird explanations for what the rest of us are doing to avoid "I'm neurodivergent, and no one explained what 'a tradition' is in a way that isn't hurtful. So I decided 'traditions' are bad, unless people can prove they are useful. Like having three meals a day--it's not necessary, but it works well for many humans, so it ended up just worthwhile to tell all the humans to do things that way, so now you know what it means that 'she's at lunch.'"

If I didn't know for a fact that MANY of the people saying this stuff on Jumblr are themselves autistic, I'd say it's that thing where neurotypical people keep using a word, and they think you must understand that word because you've heard it in context enough times that you can use it, but really you don't know what people are actually getting at and you're pantomiming, and the people Discoursing don't know that and are just hostile to neurodivergence and coming up with all sorts of weird "why they're like that" that are anything but "they don't know what this means."

I returned to religious practice, but even that's in line with this--I discovered in a tough time in my life that religious messaging about being loved unconditionally helped me to feel better when other things didn't, so I decided I wanted to hear it more often. It also helped to remind me to be kind and helpful to other humans.

Thus, for me, Christianity turned out to be a useful tradition. I didn't get the Unconditional Love from real people I knew, so I made up a guy and decided he feels that way. About me and also about other people who are struggling who I want to help but can't unconditionally love because, uh, I have a personality.

I'm less judgy of other religions now because even if they don't sound like useful traditions to ME, I can see why they'd be useful to others maybe. (I personally don't get the idea of religious law; life has enough rules without me taking on more of them, especially if some of them are "don't have gay sex" or "ritually cleanse yourself after gay sex as it makes you unclean." I get that other people can ignore that one, but if I agree to a set of rules I agree to all of them, and I want to have gay sex. The only cleansing I want to do is pee afterward. But I gather this doesn't work the same way for a lot of people who happily follow religious law, so.)

But I do not think I'm any closer to understanding why some people accept traditions without having personal reasons to do so. I just think that's part of my neurodivergence, honestly, and that many if not most "Reddit atheists" are neurodivergent in a similar way, which is why until I started noticing them being dicks and going redpill (just another tradition! Why are you gendertrads?!) I felt I'd found My People.

And I certainly don't think I'm secretly supersessionist. I think a religious tradition that puts less stress on Laws and Proper Tradition Following is better for ME, because of MY BRAIN (and also probably just that I grew up with it so I get it.)

It's not superior to any other piece of fiction with a big fandom that people use to improve their lives (by which I mean "any other religion").

[bpdohwhatajoy]

Realizing I was autistic saved my life.

Yes at points it’s made me feel bad for being different and having to come to terms that I would never be normal even though that’s all I ever wanted sucked bad. Yes at points I’ve felt so behind where everyone else is in life (because I’m autistic) and was mad at that fact. Yes I’m mad I didn’t know I was autistic until my early twenties. All this aside, it did genuinely save my life. If I had to exist through this life while not knowing I was autistic like I didn’t know for the first set of years, I would’ve been so fucking miserable. I would’ve continued to compare myself to neurotypicals and feel immense disappointment when I didn’t live up to a NT standard of life. I would’ve wondered why the fuck I felt so fundamentally broken. I would’ve wondered what the hell was wrong with me that no other label seemed to capture. I would’ve been miserable like I was for two fucking decades and then some years because I didn’t know why I was so different from everyone. I could sense it and they could too but there wasn’t a name.

Knowing I’m autistic has led to so much good. I know more about myself than I did before. I can adjust my life and live according to what’s comfortable for me when my entire life I’ve been taught to stomach discomfort and deal with it. I don’t have to anymore. I can set my own boundaries. I know that no longer I’m not being unreasonable and that everyone who tried to make me think that was an allistic dumbass who literally can’t comprehend what being inside my brain is like. I can mold a life that suits me, not the other way around. I can find ways to cope with autistic struggles now that I have a name for what they are. I can engage and connect with others through special interests that I grew up isolated in engaging in. If I hadn’t realized I was autistic, I would’ve never stopped masking and I never would’ve put myself out there online and connected over my special interests which is one of the most rewarding experiences. Learning I am autistic ultimately allowed me to embrace things I’ve suppressed my entire life and allowed me to live a more authentic life. Yes I’m expressive and emotional when it comes to my interests. Sure I like some things that others consider childish. Yes I take things seriously. But that’s me and there’s nothing wrong with it. There’s nothing wrong with me just because I don’t match the neurotypical idea of right. I don’t feel nearly as wrong as I used to feel because I see that there are so many other people like me.

I’ve spent so much of my life being ashamed for autistic traits while not knowing they were autistic traits. Fuck that. I love how attuned to patterns I am. I love how good at analysis I am. I love getting excited over my special interests. I love how honest I am. I love how passionate I am about things. I love the effort I put into things. I love how much I care about things. I love that my intentions are pure. I love that I’m reliable and helpful and try to find solutions always and don’t give up until I fix the issue. I love that I’m brave enough to put myself out there as an autistic person when it’s really easy for people like me to get mocked. I love that no matter how much life has beat me down, I’m not just hardly surviving anymore while thinking I was an nt with something wrong with me. Now, I’m thriving as an autistic person. So yeah. Discovering I was autistic did save my life.

#ryan.txt #autism #actually autistic #autistic #autism positivity

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

I saw your tags on a post about becoming the mc in one of your novels. Gothic, where the character is more monster than damsel and i am 👀

Would you be willing to talk about it? The story, the character, anything?

(for those of you who did not see my tags on the post anon is referencing, the post prompt was basically 'you are now the main character of your most recent WIP' and my tags were: #technically I think this would put me as the MC of my novel#in a gothic mansion that houses a monstrous lord said to steal people’s souls#in a village the inhabitants view as a cage#after faking my death to escape an abusive arranged marriage#discovering that I am more monster than damsel)

so i talked about it briefly when i ran this poll a while ago asking which one of these two novels you'd all like to see first. it is the one that won, the gothic found family: Of Beasts and Wretched Things (working title). feel free to click through to the poll if you want to see what the results were, what the other option was, and what people's initial reactions were!

Of Beasts and Wretched Things is an inverted 'Beauty and the Beast' coming of age story that wrestles with the monstrosities of girlhood and the inherent horror of self-creation.

When the Lord of Crosswell Estate plans to wed his niece to a brutish lord to save his wealth, she runs away and stumbles upon Illthern, a forgotten trading village under the control of the monstrous Theodoric Gaut, whom she deceives in order to gain his protection from her wrathful uncle; but when she finds herself face to face with Lord Gaut, who is not what the stories would have her believe, she must wrestle with the monstrosity of her own making before he discovers that his supposed long-lost relative is not what she claims to be.

(More under the cut bc wow I...got a bit carried away.)

working on this project has helped me work through some of the trauma i have around my own relationship to femininity and womanhood. the MC struggles with the legacy of abuse inflicted by her blood relatives and what it means to be the person they tried to make her into. the inherent fear of things labeled 'monster' and the consequential fear of being monstrous is a predominant theme, as well as questions of how many of the monsters are things we make ourselves.

what really drew me to the gothic genre was the emotional weight i wanted to give these characters and this world; so often in gothic works it is the characters' own emotional turmoil that drives the plot and shapes the setting, you are the ghost haunting the house even though you still draw breath, etc. even in this real world, there are these weights of what society things a woman should be, the pressures of girlhood especially during adolescence, and these weird half-mourning periods of killing the person you used to be. i think because i wanted these characters to be steeped in the emotions they have about their situations in life and themselves, i found myself drawn to gothic conventions just because it fit so well with what i wanted to explore

with regards to the characters themselves, and particularly the MC, i really wanted them to feel like they were driving the story. the MC has the brilliant and terrible certainty that I know at least I had when I was a teenager. Theodoric is very similar to most characters you'd expect to see in a gothic setting: ominous, more than a bit sinister or mysterious, yet I wanted it to feel like he was always hiding a bleeding heart just under his coat. did i mean to make him autistic? no, but when I was proofreading i was like whoa yeah this man has the spicy brain. i'm a sucker for monstrous things that treat others with tenderness first, what can i say. i don't want to talk too much about any other characters just yet, I don't want to spoil anything :)

WIP-wise, I'm in the midst of getting the manuscript ready to submit to agencies and publishing houses. it's funny, as i'm doing the research to see what that entails, the other story seems to be way easier to market. who knows, maybe i'll self publish OB&WT the way I did Tales from Thicketdown Forest and then go the traditional route for the other one. we'll find out, i guess.

i did sort of know this was going to get long but jfc i went way harder with my prose here than i thought i was going to. uh, hope this answers your question????

Tl:dr; gothic found family h/c, heavy on the comfort, with tender monsters and monstrous girls :)

#dragonbabbles #i do have opinions on the matter #original work #my work #my writing #gothic #found family

[agbob-dollpants]

~The Secret!?~

How many people have you met that have over 100 AG dolls? For me, personally, I think I could probably name about ten other collectors that have such an extensive collection. In this post, you will find out why I’ve reached such a high point in my collection, and why all of my dolls have reached me in such a consistent manner.

Random doll pic!!

Happy April! The fourth month of 2023… wow! This year has flown by really quickly so far. As many people know, April is autism acceptance and awareness month, so I thought I’d like to make a post regarding that! Today (April 2nd) is also Autism Acceptance Day!✨

And that is exactly what my secret is. Something I’ve been wanting to share on AGIG for years. Something that I didn’t even know until I was 12 years old but had been effecting me for me entire life. Something that was hidden from me that I no longer want to hide from other people. I am autistic.

I’m not super familiar with the AG/doll community on tumblr, but because of that, I thought it would be a good way to introduce myself early on. Apparently, I got the diagnosis when I was 4 years old, but my mom told me randomly one day when I was almost 13. I was kind of shocked at the time, but once I thought about it for a second, everything began to make sense. “Oh, so THAT’S why I did *insert random thing* when I was little!”

I honestly feel a lot better about myself now that I know this information, but I’ve been wary about sharing it with others because my mom was hesitant to even tell me, let alone have me tell anyone else, about it. This month, remember to NOT support Autism $peaks or “light it up blue,” default to identity-first language, and LISTEN to actually autistic voices! Red instead!❤️

Now for the fun part. 🤭 I get to talk about my dolls! I got my first 2 dolls in 2012, but I started to become really passionate about AG and the brand after my friend and I had discovered AGTube in 2014. The first AGTube video I ever saw was an AGSM called “Sandy Gets Her Ears Pierced.” I was BEWILDERED by the dolls moving by themselves and then I got sucked into the hole of AGTube, as I started to learn just about anything I could about these dolls. ✨

Basically, that’s how American Girl became a special interest of mine! A special interest is an intense, focused interest that an person has on a specific topic for a long period of time. At that time, I had 10 dolls, and now I have 144 almost 9 years later! My younger self would POUR over my current doll collection and would do anything to have even half of the dolls that I do today! She’d flip out seeing her dream dolls like Sonali, Kanani, Mia, and McKenna in my current collection, and it makes me really happy to be living out a big dream of mine from when I was younger! :)

Thanks for reading, dollblr! Have a wonderful day!

#american girl #dollblr

[fishedeyelenz]

*inhales deeply* haaah….okay. Okay, this might be…rather lengthy, but please bear with me Ms. Fishy! I usually try not to leave comments on things, just cause I’m, nervous about how much I want to say lol, and then I sometimes (most of the time) come off too intense and strongly and I unfortunately have more than once maybe freaked or creeped poor innocent souls out accidentally lol. But! This is about our poor freaky attic boy! So maybe it’ll be fine lol.

Oh my goodness, so. I have, in recent times, discovered Billy….and immediately I just feel in love with him! First cause he looked so silly and cute and goofy! And because I only vaguely saw one or two things about some guy in a sweater who was either really sweaty or just intense. So I needed to know more about this little man! I mean…obviously. And the more I read about him, both on actual research trips in google, and my roaming and happy lurking or tumblr, welp I just, fell more in love with him!! Little freak boi.

But what really just….sealed my brain to him, was when I started finding fanfiction on here and ao3, that really took a step into his brain, and his very scattered and unstable thinking process, and all his behaviors, in conjunction to me hunting down and watching the actual black Christmas movie and I just…..there was one specific little fanfiction I read…I don’t remember the name or the author…but it just, broke my heart so much. It made me cry SO much, because they made him sound so much like me! In all the worst ways he was written in a way that is so familiar to me.

And so now I’m hunting for good Billy stories on ao3, and that’s where I find you! The first story I read by you was the…the snow day one if I’m naming it correctly, and oh…me hart…but then! I found Mousie!! I freaking cried. Again! Because it’s so intense reading about Billy…behaving so…SIMILAR to me….it just makes my chest and my heart fill up so tightly, and I feel my heart break for Billy, because, in my brain, I would go, “he’s like me! He’s just like me, I’m just like him…..I bet…he would like that. We wouldn’t freak each other out! If I could just hold him! If I could just hold him tight and cry with him cause I know! I know Billy! But it’s okay I promise, we’re both gonna be okay please just listen to my heart beat!” And so I, in my many many day dream stories, would day dream about all kinds of ways I would meet Billy, who would lose their marbles first, and how I would show Billy how similar we are, and how…NICE it would be to actually understand each other. To just, not feel so alone and ODD.

And this is all well and good, and I keep in my heart close to me…but! Your most recent ask! About, Billy and dilf Billy with an S/O with all kinds of ticks and stims and sensory issues….and when normal Billy is happy and goes, “your just like me..!” I freaking lost it aaaah!! My eyeballs MAY have gotten watery again lol. I’m so sorry if this is all just so silly sounding….but oh my goodness…I just…love the way you write Billy. I do it all….the hair pulling, the skin picking, the finger and skin biting…the rocking, the stuttering, the voice and word mimicking, the fear of being seen, the thoughts, the horrible loud thoughts, the URGES, the emotions that explode and make my brain either break and I have breakdowns and I’m sobbing screaming hurting myself, scared of hurting others, or I just check out, I’m out yo I’m gone babe, I just ain’t here at that moment. The fear, the slight delusions when I get bad…the shame and disgust and guilt, ugh horrible loud noises, bright lights, strong smells, bad textures, bad words, so much BAD! (Yes I’m autistic lol) but, yes believe it or not lol, I’m actually a very happy person (besides the horrors) and I’m very giggly, (overly giggly actually it a problem at times) very smiley, and I make all these little noises (though I try to contain it to when I’m alone) like I chitter and I click my throat when I’m happy and I wriggle and squirm and squeal cause there’s just so much happy pressure in me and I just shake and wiggle my hands by my side and, geez that’s all me, that’s all me and I know it’s a lot and I’m reading and seeing it all in Billy and it’s…gee it’s so overwhelmingly sweet to me! Reading about his bad times, and someone being sweet to him, how I wish I could be sweet to him cause heaven knows I understand, and just maybe him be sweet to me! I just….mmh! Dang. I just think we’d be friends me and him. And the way you write just fills my heart, it’s so very lovely, thank you so much for all the wonderful Billy stories.

(I know that was a lot please forgive me you straight up don’t have to respond, I just wanted you to know how lovely it all is and how I appreciate your Billy writing lol)

(But like fr I wanna freaking chew on him and shake him while growling like a freak rrrRRRGH I’ll bloody tackle him I’ll snarl at him do not TEST me Billy *deep affection*)

Oh... oh my god. You just made my day. This made me so happy you cannot believe. Thank you for taking your time to write this this ask, it first shocked me (in a good way lol) and then i started grinning and crying. It makes me so so so happy to see my goofy stories resonate with people and when you guys come and compliment me I go AAAAAAAHH- <3333

I never would have thought my fics would resonate so much. I started writing them in desperation from a lack of content after I read every fic that I possibly could, and I thought I could write my own. I remember posting my first few fics and waiting for my first comment <3 I never would have thought my work would become so well liked!!!

I'm glad Billy is relatable. I'm glad he is a good depiction of various things you and many others go through. One of my biggest fears was that I would miss the mark, that he would come off as a caricature, or shallow or offensive or or.... but the most frequent positive comment I get consistently is that my characterization is spot on. So much of myself I put into my depiction of him, so so much. And I'm glad you feel that way. I'm glad you wasn't to reach out and hold him, and tell him that it's okay and there are people there who get you. Everybody needs that, even if you can only express that to a freaky fictional attic killer, as strange as it sounds lol <3

I'm just... I'm glad that you like my work. I'm so glad and I know I'm rambling but I don't know how to otherwise express my gratitude. I have been going through a minor crisis in art, cause I know the things I do on here or on ao3 aren't something that would be highly appreciated by my irls, and they would think it was a waste of time, and a crisis about when I will start making art as a full time job and will I make it. You gave me reassurance that I am not wasting my time, that even if the art would be seen as "lower" by some people the resonance and importance of it can be boundless to others. And you also gave me hope that I'll make it one day. Thank you so much. Billy would be your friend. Take care.

#asks #my art #my writing #long post #billy lenz

[kierancampire]

If there's one thing that makes me incredibly mad about J.K. Rowling.

She made a story of a young person who is different to everyone around them, people hate them, no one likes them, they only make friends with animals and other rejects, their family mistreats and neglects them. But then one day someone comes along and shows them what makes them different is good, they then find friends, discover more about who they really are and go ob that journey of accepting their true selves, see that they are not alone, that people love and care for them, they discover a family who make them their own. They then later encounter the person who tried to destroy their life and took almost everything from them, and they are able to stand up to them, they say that they no longer hold power over them and cannot hurt them any more and they fight back. When they lose someone who meant a lot to them and who was a pillar in their life, multiple people like that in fact, they show it hurts but you can still fight and go on without them. It shows that even if you feel like you are losing and the bad is taking over, if enough small people get together, even the people society deemed worthless, they can get what they want as they have power together. It shows that even if you come from an exceptionally dark past where you have nothing and are treated awfully because you are different, you can still find happiness, love, strength, acceptance, and success. It shows you that you can be so much more capable of things than anyone has ever said you will, that you can be happy, you deserve to be happy and you can take care of yourself.

Being a young gay guy who grew up abused, bullied, and is most likely autistic, as well as always being told i was stupid, incapable, and never trusted with anything. Besides growing up with Harry Potter and it being some of my earlier book/movie memories, it has always been so significant to me. And the thing is, i think it could and should be significant to so many others and relate to so many peoples journeys, but because of the things Rowling has said and where she drew insperations from, it's destroyed that for many. And the thing is, i won't financially support her because i care too much for the trans community and do not support her. But besides all the actors, which are aguably more famous, recognisable, and the faces of the characters have said she is wrong and support trans rights. I do hate that i have been made to feel a bad person because i cannot unlove something i loved all my life, and something that held such significance to me given my past and what i come from, but i also feel i shouldn't be made to feel bad about the what i went through as a child/teen, and the fact that those books/movies helped me due to how i related to them.

I personally just cannot detach myself from all of that and how involved that was for a lot of my life so far, and i respect if people just see HP and see transphobia and anti-semitism, but what i said is how i see it. But it just makes me mad that Rowling made this story/world that she did, that so many of us could relate to, that could so heavily link to being trans, but said no that will never be it. But then yes, i also hate being expected to suddenly let go of/to forget all of that, and being a bad person and not really supporting my trans friends if i don't/can't let go, even though I'd never support her financially again.

Edit: I literally said that others see "anti-semitism", that is LITERALLY the only thing i said on it, that one thing, once. Yet that one thing is the thing people are focusing on like it is a huge part of my post, the bulk of what i mentioned, and the point of this post? It was just a brief passing single technical one word? What about literally the entire post, how i said i think and feel, why i made this post, or literally anything else? Also, it's already been mentioned, twice, and i have already responded, twice. If you see this and just are gonna comment on that. Do not bother. It is technically one word that i mentiomed once, i said no more than that, i didn't delve into reasons or why, just mentioned the word once. I also never said it was my views, i said others view it that way. Also, yes, it is such an incredibly, exceptionally tiny part of a much larger post, and not the purpose of my post at all. Can't believe i even need to add this edit.

#personal #Harry Potter #JK Rowling #J.K. Rowling #Rowling #Joanne Rowling #LGBT+ #lgbtq #LGBT #Trans #Abuse #Childhood abuse

[chaotic-queer-disaster]

Hi, I'm a teen who's been diagnosed with ADHD for around 4 years now, and I'm starting to realize that I happen to have a lot of typically autistic traits and habits, and I was wondering if you have any good recommendations on places to do more research? I would like to know more about it, but I'm not sure where to start. Thanks!!

other, separate anon:

Hiya! i read your pinned so im not going to ask about anything professional, but I will ask if you know any trustworthy sources to look for more info? i cant get diagnosed for family reasons but despite that my parents *still* bring up the fact that they think im on the spectrum.

yet another anon:

hi hi! i just discovered ur blog and i rly love how so much of ur values align w mine. i feel safe here. im sorry if u've answered this before, but ive been questioning whether im autistic (or maybe have adhd) for a while now. and ik u're pro-educated self dx, so i was wondering what are ways i could do more research? idk if that makes sense. but i feel like what ive learned is not enough. i also realize i mask a lot of my traits and recently, my special interest involve people who are neurodivergent and they've made me embrace these traits more so i feel like im better at understanding myself. thank you for your time :)

~

I'm answering these together since they're all anon anyway and mostly asking the same thing. Some resources for figuring out if you're autistic include:

Resource Library - Autistic Women & Nonbinary Network (i have a personal vendetta against the phrase "women and nonbinary people", as a nonbinary person, but that aside the resources themselves seem good.)

Resource Library - ASAN (autisticadvocacy.org) (plus ASAN in general)

Diagnostic Criteria | Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) | NCBDDD | CDC -- this is the actual criteria, examining it and how it lines up to your feelings & experiences is a good place to start

Welcome to the Autistic Community (autismacceptance.com)

The #actuallyautistic tag on many social media platforms is also a space where you can see autistic people talk about our experiences and how you may relate, as well as autism-focused blogs like @.autism-resources, @.autistic-af, myself, and the now-inactive but still readable @.autism-asks, and but I caution you to not use that as your only or main resource.

You can also look for autism-friendly therapists that may help, talk to your doctor about your suspicions and have them help you, or reach out to your local autistic advocacy group (not all places have them, but some do). Preferably find one run by autistic people. I want to stress this part, because imo the best way to try and figure out if you're autistic is to talk to a lot of autistic people or autistic-friendly people who are willing to help you.

And a final note: do NOT look for answers from Autism Speaks. They won't help you, and they're inaccurate and ableist.

I wish you all good luck in figuring yourselves out!

#asks #anon #self diagnosis #autism research

[pinkytears]

I'm just come home from my first and i hope last fucking appointment with a psychiatrist. I'm a self diagnosed autistic, right?

I made fucking research for like 4 years and etc, and I'm learning new things about me in this journey of discovering myself again, and I'm always thinking that maybe I'm not autistic bc the impostor syndrome even I know I'm, and many people know and has said to me that a I'm or can be autistic. Fuck, it's something I'm not say aloud bc i don't have the diagnosis, and I'm scare people don't take me seriously when I'm taking about me being autistic bc of it.

My English is fucking shit rn.

BUT THIS FUCKING PSYCHIATRIST when I tell him how can I being to looking for a diagnosis of autism, very fucking shy and with fear of not being taken seriously, like always. THIS SHIT SAYS TO ME "But, you know you have autism or you say you know that, so you can't have autism"

THIS FUCKING MAN SAY TO ME THAT I CAN'T BE AUTISTIC BC I KNOW I'M AUTISTIC(? WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

I'm come to know I may be autistic in my early twenties by accident bc I was investigating to write a autistic character and when the idea about me being autistic cross my mind I was like, no, I'm not, but for four fucking years I learned a lot and enough for me to know that in fact I'm autistic, I know myself forever and I'm only six months ago I said my family that I'm autistic bc the shame I feel for not having a real diagnosis. I just read and investigate, and do my research about everything that has to do with autism and being autistic (because it become my hiperfixation for a long time) just for a Mr.Dr say to me that bc I know that I'm autistic I can't in fact be autistic.

The best part? He told me that I can change the things I believe make me autistic???? Are u fucking dumb?

You have autistic traits? Oh, don't worry JUST DON'T HAVE IT, CHANGE IT, CHANGE U FUCKING SELF, ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?

Thanks to read about my horrible day, and about my life without having a diagnosis bc I'm not going to tell another professional about me never again. I know how they are and how they never believe the patient bc they are the ones with a title and a degree and etc, but I was hopeful for a moment and the only thing a wanted was to know how I can have a diagnosis, easy it seems, bc if I'm not autistic they just have to say no, u are not, after evaluating everything but nop, I'm very self aware about my "autism" to be autistic.

I'm going to be pissed all day about it so I'm hoping that every other autistic person have a great day and can do something that makes them smile today.

My english is bad so I'm sorry if it was difficult for u to read this. BUT I'M MAD AND SAD AND I'M DUMBER THIS WAY.

Be kind.

#autism culture #autistic adult #self diagnosed autism #diagnosed autism #autism spectrum disorder #asd diagnosis #actually autistic #self diagnosis #how can I poor person have an diagnosis in this world #I'm going to die without a diagnosis bc I know myself #autistic awareness #neurodivergent #actually neurodivergent #I'm mad