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#this is one of the funniest asks i’ve ever gotten
edsbacktattoo · 2 years
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Oh no! Your crush just told you that they’re getting restless and are planning on leaving. But you haven’t confessed to them yet so what do you do? Attach yourself to them/go with them towards the unknown (but maybe you’ll just join their old sad routine) or do you plan an incredible adventure to prove how interesting and fun staying with you is?
Or perhaps you do something completely different to captivate your crush?
first of all i’m irresistible and my crush would simply not become restless, so jot that down
but if they grew desperate i would probably plan something elaborate. maybe a treasure hunt. maybe i would sit with them and eat some tenderised snake. maybe flirt with them a little bit (unknowingly! cause i’m stupid and repressed) and then bam!!!! they fall irrevocably in love with me
game, set, match anon
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housewifebuck · 5 months
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Eddie does not have the right to literally be having a breakdown and crying and still be one of the hottest men I've ever seen
Like fuck me those eyes in the breakdown scene
Like damn bitch did you have an eye transplant with a fucking cow?
DAMN BITCH DID YOU HAVE AN EYE TRANSPLANT WITH A FUCKING COW
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zoeywades-spouse · 11 months
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Imagine that at the end of tna spinoff it's revealed that the whole thing was a fever dream the Bloodbound MC had when they decided it was a good idea to binge watch soaps until they fall asleep that'd be so fucking funny
OMGGGGGG ANON THIS IS GOLD
Plsssss this better be the truth because everyone except my girl Sofia and M&M are all awful
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medusanova · 1 year
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hellooooo 🥰😏 you mean you wanna write? How about Fate: The Mean Girls Edition with Andreas, Ben, Farah and Saul
“Did you see the newest recruit?” Farah asked her companions.
Andreas and Ben flanked her on each side, her heavily muscled entourage — used to preventing all manner of defiance, insubordination, and general funny business in Rosalind’s troupe (or as Farah preferred to think of it, her troupe).
“Aye. Almost planted me a bloody facer when I tried to sink him into the ground earlier,” grumbled Ben, rubbing his temple absentmindedly. “Consider his mettle sufficiently tested.”
“Hm.” Farah crossed her arms, considering the dark-haired man across their camp. He sat quietly by a fire, occasionally nodding as he listened to another Specialist tell an animated tale next to him. “No I don’t think it has been quite yet. You know what that means, boys?”
There was a chuckle to her left that couldn’t quite mute the cracking sound of knuckles.
“Have at him, Andreas,” she called softly, a satisfied smirk crawling up her cheek.
“Oh I’ll have him alright,” growled Andreas over his shoulder, making way toward the unsuspecting Silva.
And only when Andreas turned back around did Farah glance in confusion between the empty sheath at his side and the lonely Sword of Eraklyon on the ground next to her.
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m0rbs · 1 year
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Your character Rudy has the same name as my grandfather and also. Kinda looks like him when he was younger
Don’t worry his name’s short for Gertrude
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dumbassacademia · 2 years
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I can’t decide if it’s funnier if these are all from separate people or the same person getting increasingly agitated for no reason
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ziracona · 1 year
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Sometimes actors are wrong
Also fuck you with that ts shit that’s just straight up 2016 misogyny
Literally what are you fucking talking about 🤣🤣🤣
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frenzyarts · 4 months
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I'm not going to buy your art if you're going to reblog cringe.
This is one of the funniest asks I’ve ever gotten I don’t even know how to respond
You’re ON the cringe website. Do you also get mad when you open a book and words are inside
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qiyana-thighs · 1 year
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putting steven universe next to bluey is like serving shit next to a Michelin star meal lmfao also I didn’t realize watching cartoons made you a freak enjoy greys anatomy tho I guess
The fact that you think that any of those shows would be equivalent to a Michelin restaurant dish already tells me everything I need to know about your level of media literacy. It’s more like a pile of shit next to a Happy Meal, really
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ethereal-bumble-bee · 3 months
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Making a fanfiction author ask game!
(Basically bc I’ve seen fanfiction ask games but I’m too lazy to find one with some of these specific questions, so here ya go!)
What is your favorite trope to write?
What is your least favorite trope to write?
What is the main program you use for writing (google docs, the ao3 writing text box, etc.)
What is the main site you publish/write on?
The fic you’re most proud of writing?
The fic you’re least proud of writing?
Favorite ship to write?
Least favorite ship to write?
Biggest pet peeve while writing?
Best/funniest comment you’ve ever gotten on a fic?
Do you prefer writing angst, crack, or fluff?
First ever fic written?
Latest fic written/latest WIP?
First fandom you ever wrote fanfiction for?
Fandom you wrote the most fanfiction for?
Do you prefer co-writing something or just working on it by yourself?
Favorite AU to write?
Most words/chapters ever written for one fic or oneshot?
Have you ever created an OC for a fic?
Hardest character to write/get the characterization correct for?
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Actor Levi doing the wired interview with the fiancé reader? How would that go? Would he be as affectionate on screen?Headcannons pleasê
A/N: I’m living for the Actor AU now that thw show is over 😪 🫶
Warnings: none!
Navigation!! // Masterlist!!
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The two of you were asked to a wired interview together, after recently announcing your engagement
with the end of Attack on Titan, it now gave you both more time to spend with each other and to take a break from work
it was an early friday morning when the two of you got to the studio where you were supposed to record the interview
“Hello, this is Y/N L/N,” You said, looking over to Levi who just smiled at you.
“and this is Levi Ackerman, and this is the Wired autocomplete interview.”
They decide to start off with Levi, his board being the funniest out of the two of you. He’s handed the board and peels off the tape when the camera begins to record.
“Has Levi Ackerman ever jumped out of a plane?” He reads.
“That’s an odd one.” You say chuckling. Levi just smiles awkwardly and shakes his head.
“I don’t recall ever jumping out of a plane…” He said, looking to the side of the screen. “If you were looking for spoilers don’t come to me.” He whispered to the camera. You laugh and lightly hit his shoulder.
“When did Levi Ackerman start acting?” He reads. He sits back in his chair for a moment before looking at you.
“When did you start acting?” You ask. He shrugs.
“Honestly, I think Attack on Titan is like the biggest acting role I’ve ever gotten.” He said, before you nodded.
“But did you work as an actor before that?” You ask, and he thinks for a moment.
“I was on law and order once, and it was like a jury scene as an extra.” He said with a laugh. Your eyes widened.
“Law and order?” You asked and he nodded.
“ Yeah, my agent was like just take it and I did. I think modeling was what helped the most though.” He said.
“Well you do have a great face.” You reply. He rolls his eyes before he moves to take off the next piece of tape.
“Where does Levi Ackerman live?” He reads. There’s a long pause before he looks at you and then back at the camera.
“Y/n where do we live?” He asks
“Last time I checked we lived in Washington.” You respond sarcastically. He nods, tapping his chin in fake thought
“Right right, that big white house. Mortgage was expensive.” He says raising his brows. The two of you laugh, and he just takes the next piece of tape off.
“Is Levi Ackerman married?” He reads. “Uh no not yet, soon though.” He says, flashing his ring finger. You do the same and the two of you give each other a cheeky look.
“Okay I guess it’s my turn.” You say as they hand you a board. You peel the first tape off. “Is Y/N single?” You read off.
“Yes she is. A date is $6,000, a kiss is an extra $2,000. Overnights are for VIP users.” Levi says. You roll your eyes before you give him a look.
“What if someone says they’re a VIP user?” You ask, he scoffs.
“They can’t be a VIP user, I’m the only VIP user.” Levi says sarcastically.
“Well that solves it.” You say. The next piece of tape comes off. “Can Y/n dance?” You read off.
“No.” You reply. Levi rolls his eyes.
“Yes she can. She chooses not too. But she’s not bad at it.” Levi says with a shrug. You roll your eyes with a chuckle before peeling off the next piece of tape.
“ Is Y/n going to cochella? I actually don’t know yet.” You say ‘as a matter of factly’
“Who’s preforming this year?” Levi asked
“I’m not actually sure. I don’t even know if the line up came out yet.” You say before pulling off the last piece of tape.
“Are Y/n and Levi Ackerman dating?” You read out. You both laugh. “No we’re just good friends.” You say, and he nods.
“Yeah, we just have matching rings but we’re just friends.” Levi said, “We also live together as friends.”
“Yeah, I’m actually dating Zeke.” You say. At that Levi gives you the side eye and shakes his head.
“We’re joking guys she’s not dating Zeke.” Levi said sitting up, staring at the camera. “We were joking.”
You laugh, leaning over your seat to press a kiss to his cheek. He just huffs leaning back with a roll of his eyes when you pull away.
The scene cuts again, this time the two of you without boards and just casually sitting in your chairs. Levi is still in a mood from your comment but it’s all in good spirits.
“Now that, that’s all cleared,” You say with a sigh, looking over to Levi who’s still in his feelings. “I’m glad we could clear the air on some things.” You say, and he nods.
“Thanks for watching, it better be worth it.” Levi said with fake anger. You laugh, the cameraman giving you both the signal that the camera had stopped rolling. Levi sighed stretching a bit into his chair.
“You know I love you right?” You ask, hoping to ease his ‘pain’
“Of course you do, who wouldn’t?” He replies with a smirk.
“Guess you aren’t so in your feelings after all.”
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thelifeofsharks · 9 months
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I’ve been thinking about writing this for a couple of days now, debating as to whether I should say anything publicly but I feel I should as nobody seems to talk about this.
Firstly, can I just say how much we (Sophie and I) love you guys. We wouldn’t be making these comics if we didn’t have an audience and we appreciate you enormously. Thank you.
A few days ago someone posted one of our comics to a Facebook group with about a million followers. The credits had been cropped out and we weren’t credited by the poster. In fact, they blocked us so nobody could tag us. One of our followers took a screen shot of it and sent it to us and by then it had gotten over 100k likes and tens of thousands of shares. Far more than ANY of our comics have ever received on our own page. It’s very disheartening and frustrating to see that people like our work but just not when we have our name on it or post it on our own account.
We had the comic taken down (it took 7 attempts with Facebook) and had some other ones taken down on similar pages and groups. After that we had a barrage of angry and abusive messages, comments and emails from the owners of these pages. One of their arguments was, “Don’t you want people to share your comics?”. The answer is yes…and no.
We love when our followers share our content. LOVE IT. It’s brilliant. There’s a share button at the bottom of every post of ours. Please smash that button for all you are worth. It helps us out enormously.
BUT there are a great number of Facebook pages and Instagram accounts that just steal our stuff (and other comics) and post them without permission or credit and then monetise it. You’ve all seen them. They have names like “Daily Funny Comic” or “The Funniest Cat Videos”. Their whole reason for being is stealing other people’s content and then selling stuff in the link at the top of their account. There are groups of people making huge amounts of money doing this.
I’ve had a load of abusive messages from people who run these accounts, accusing me of stopping them from making a living because their page is now under review. A living made solely on the back of exploiting other people’s work. I’d ask you not to follow or subscribe to these pages. It’s a whole industry now, built on monetising other people’s work with nothing paid to the original artists. And before anyone comments saying it’s great exposure, it’s not about exposure. It’s the principle of people’s work being exploited for financial gain with the artist getting nothing.
So for those people running those accounts, I will report it to Facebook. I don’t owe you a living. Everyone else, please feel free to share our comics. We thank you so much for doing so.
Also we have a shop if you’d like a t-shirt or a book. We make everything ourselves. Baby needs shoes.
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dorotheataylor · 7 months
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Begin Again
Pairing- Fred Weasley x Fem!Reader
Summary- Based on Begin Again (Taylor’s Version) by Taylor Swift <3
Warnings- Slight angst, kissing, a lot of Fluff and as always my poor english :)
Word count- 1.6k
A/N- Long time no see people. So here I am with a Fred Weasley fic coz I love this dork sm. Also this happens after the war and yes Fred is alive coz he never died (im delusional)
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It was Wednesday, probably your least favourite day of the week. You were getting ready for work, deciding to wear heels for today.
“Don’t wear them, they don’t look good on you.” Your ex-boyfriend would have said if he were here. You sighed and looked into the mirror.
“But I look good in them.” You smiled at yourself before leaving. You decided to walk to the ministry for today rather than apparating, stopping by a cafe to grab a quick morning coffee for a head start for the day. Your headphones played a song you loved.
“I don’t get this song.” Your ex-boyfriend would’ve commented if he were here. You shook your head and smiled through the song.
“But I do.”
As you walked towards the cafe, you suddenly bumped into someone who was much taller than you. The things they were carrying dropped on the floor as you quickly bent down to pick them up, removing your headphones from ears to your neck, apologies never stopping to leave from your mouth.
“I’m really sorry for not paying attention, hope I didn’t break anything.” You said, finally looking at the stranger’s face as you gave them the last thing you picked.
It was a man. A really good looking and tall man. He had red hair, which were perfectly messed up, his smile looking genuine as he smiled at you.
“It’s alright.” The handsome stranger said, “I hadn’t been paying attention as well. Reckon its partly my fault too.”
Damn, you could listen to his voice forever if you could. It was as clear as crystal water, as smooth as silk.
If it had been your ex-boyfriend, he would’ve gotten mad. Mad that because of you he dropped his things. He would’ve cursed at you, maybe even yell. You shook your head and quickly came out of your thoughts.
“Guess we’re both sorry then.” You said, trying not get awkward. He chuckled and extended his free hand.
“I’m Fred, Fred Weasley.”
-
Three weeks later on a Wednesday, you walked inside the same cafe, half expecting that Fred wouldn’t arrive. But you were immediately proven wrong when you saw him, already standing near a table, waiting for you.
He waved at you when he saw you and gestured for you to sit across from him. You walked towards him, sitting down as he pulled out the chair for you. He didn’t know how nice this gesture was but you did.
You small talked about everything. You attempted to make jokes about things to which he responded with throwing his head back laughing like a little kid. “That was the funniest thing someone has ever said to me.” He said.
You were surprised at his response. “It wasn’t even funny, why do you even try to be funny when you’re not?” Your ex-boyfriend would’ve said if it were him instead of Fred.
As your conversation went on, you thought that maybe not all relationships are the way your previous ones were. Maybe some included this. Happiness. Because today, on Wednesday, in this cafe, you watched your feelings begin again.
-
“I’ve never met someone who has the collection of all the chocolate frog cards.” He had said laughing a little when you showed him your card collection. “Well except my brother Ron of course. This is impressive.”
You had smiled and responded, “thanks. I’ve liked chocolate frogs since I first ate them on my way to Hogwarts, back in first year.”
“I kind of figured, it’s cute if you ask me.” He had smiled, making you blush.
He had been telling you about himself and his family. You had been listening intently and laughing every time he told you about the pranks he had played on other students along with his brother George, back when he was in Hogwarts.
You told him about yourself, getting shy occasionally which he couldn’t comprehend why, but you did. He was the sweetest man you had ever talked to.
He eventually took you to meet his family. You were a nervous wreck, to which he had assured you that there was nothing to worry about and his family especially his mother were going to love you.
And he was right. His mother, Molly Weasley who was also a redhead welcomed you as if you were her own. His father, Arthur Weasley was also genuinely interested in knowing about your work. He had asked you many questions related to your work field, making you smile a little as you didn’t really have anyone who was interested in what you did.
His siblings were all friendly towards you. You had immediately gotten along with George, which made Fred smile to himself. You had even given some advices on how they can improve their shop works. Ron showed you his chocolate frog card collection and told you how he still had some missing. You offered yours to him to which he smiled and agreed happily. Ginny treated you as her sister, very much interested in getting to know you more.
You liked the Weasleys, and the fact they accepted you made both you and Fred happy. He had kissed your forehead once you reached your doorstep, after he had insisted on walking you home. That night neither you nor Fred slept, replaying the moment you spent together.
-
Christmas was around the corner and snow had started to gather everywhere. Everyone you could see were busy shopping for holidays.
You were in a shop, buying gifts for Fred and his family. You smiled when you saw the things that Fred had talked about many times and how much he would love it if got it. You made your way to pay, the cashier surprised to see you buying gifts.
“You’re buying gifts for yourself?” he asked. You and the cashier had been friends for many years as you were a frequent customer in his store.
“No, they’re for my- friend and his family.” you had hesitated because you two hadn’t made anything official. Hell was there anything even to make it official? You thought.
The cashier smiled, “explains why you look better than before since last few weeks. Finally got someone right?”
You smiled and nodded back at him and said, “I’m giving love a chance to begin again.”
-
You and Fred were walking back to your house, hand in hand as he small talked about everything. You hadn’t been paying attention, your mind going back to your ex-boyfriend.
You didn’t remember anytime when you and him were like this, peaceful and most of all- happy.
You decided to tell Fred about him so you said, “I wanted to-”
“I wanted to-” he said at same time as you, making both of you laugh.
“You first.” You said.
“I wanted to tell you that my mother wants me to invite you home for the Christmas dinner.” He said sheepishly rubbing his neck.
“I don’t know, Fred. Christmas dinner is for families and-”
He interrupted, “But you’re a part of the family now. Please come, Y/N. I’ll feel better if you did. Plus we’ll get a jumper knitted by my mother herself with our initials on it. It's a family tradition for every Christmas."
"Okay, I'll be there." You said with a smile. Fred grinned widely and kissed your cheek in excitement making you a flustered mess and you thanked Merlin for the cold.
You forgot all about your ex-boyfriend as Fred went on to tell you stories of pranks he played on Ron with George. You had a small smile on your face as you listened to him, and for the first time you thought 'what happened in the past stays in the past'.
-
It was New Year's Eve and you and Fred were decorating your house for the party later tonight. He watched you as you were focused on shaping the cookie dough to bake. Your tongue was grazing your upper lip, ounces of flour around your forehead.
He blushed and looked away when you caught him staring and resumed his work, smiling to himself.
Night came on and the party was in full swing. Fred and George were entertaining the guests with the products from their joke shop. Ginny and Hermione helped you serve the drinks as Ron and Harry small talked, drinks in their hands.
And the time came for which everyone was waiting. The new year countdown. Everyone gathered around near the clock as it ticked. Suddenly, Fred took you by your hand and led you to the balcony.
People started counting backwards as Fred took your hands in his. He looked nervous and your heart couldn't help but pick up its pace.
"10!"
"Y/N, I've known you for almost an year now and I don't think I can deny it any longer."
"7"
"You have always been so kind to others but never to yourself. So I want to be the one to take care of you. You have showed me many times what I'm worth of. You showed me a new way to view life."
"5!"
"Fred, what are you saying?" You asked, quietly.
"3!
"I'm saying that I love you, Y/N. All of you. And I'll never get tired of admitting it. Be my girlfriend, Y/N."
"1!"
You didn't say anything as tears fell down your cheeks. You grabbed him by his collars and attached your lips with his. He immediately wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you closer when you heard everyone screaming.
"Happy New Year!"
Fred and you smiled into the kiss as he sealed the promise of never hurting you by deepening the kiss. Surely you have had some bad relationships but it was all worth it if it had brought you to Fred Weasley, the redhead which made your belief in love begin again.
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Ah I loved writing this. Thank you for reading!
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gffa · 1 year
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I AM IN REAL FUCKING TEARS ABOUT THIS COMIC I KNEW IT WAS GOING TO BE GOOD BECAUSE DARTH VADER’S DIARY IS ALREADY A HELL OF A PREMISE NOTHING MAKES ME HAPPIER THAN MAKING FUN OF THE TERRIBLE PERSON THAT DARTH VADER IS AND WHEN IT STARTS OUT WITH “I was summoned to his quarters earlier to remove a corpse and found it under, y’know, some ‘magazines’.” I KNEW I WAS IN FOR A RIDE. AND BOY WAS I. “He’ll never know.  His place is such a mess, he’ll think he just misplaced it or something.” I’M CRYING, ANAKIN STILL HAS THE JUNKIEST ROOM NO MATTER IF HE’S LIVING IN THE JEDI TEMPLE OR ON THE DEATH STAR, PERFECT CHARACTERIZATION
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“Got a new helmet today!  A better fit than the last, and I don’t get so hot and sweaty.” IF YOU ASKED ME TO WRITE ANAKIN SKYWALKER’S DIARY AS DARTH VADER I COULD NOT HAVE WRITTEN A FUNNIER LINE THAN JONATHAN ADAMS HAS WRITTEN “HE MISSPELLED NIGHTMARE” PLEASE, HAVE MERCY ON ME, I’M ACTUALLY CRYING RIGHT NOW AND THEN THE SWERVING BETWEEN INSIGHTFUL COMMENTARY ABOUT LUKE BUT THEN ALSO “HOW DO I TELL HIM I’M HIS FATHER?  ‘HEY, YOUR MOM AND I USED TO DATE.”?” ANAKIN.  ANAKIN, PLEASE.
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“GROWING UP WITHOUT A FATHER OF MY OWN, I CAN’T BE EXPECTED TO KNOW HOW ONE WOULD ACT.  I’M NOT THAT WORRIED; I TURNED OUT FINE.” ANAKIN. “IF HE REJECTS ME, I DON’T KNOW.  I’M NOT GOOD WITH REJECTION, I MAY HAVE TO KILL HIM.” WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS, ANAKIN. I MEAN, I KNOW WHY, BUT.  WHY. “MY TENDENCIES ARE ALWAYS TOWARDS PESSIMISM.  IT’S AMAZING I’VE GOTTEN SO FAR IN LIFE.” HELP, THAT IS 100000% AN ANAKIN SKYWALKER THING TO SAY. AND THEN THE DRAWINGS IN HIS DIARY, CASUAL REMINDER ANAKIN SKYWALKER TOTALLY WAS AN ARTIST I’LL DIE ON THAT HILL, AND OF COURSE VADER’S DOODLES ARE... THAT. “SURE, THEY DIDN’T HAVE A PARTY FOR ME LAST YEAR, OR THE YEAR BEFORE.  BUT THEN ALL OF THOSE STORMTROOPERS ARE DEAD NOW, SO EACH YEAR BRINGS NEW HOPE.” IF ANYONE TRIES TO SAY ANAKIN SKYWALKER IS NOT THE FUNNIEST PERSON YOU’VE EVER MET, YOU ARE WRONG
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VADER WALKING THROUGH THE HALLS BEING MAD NOBODY GAVE HIM A BIRTHDAY PARTY JUST STARING AT THEM AND THEN CREEPILY WALKING AWAY TO GO SULK IN HIS BEDROOM “I’M SO DEPRESSED, I JUST WANT TO SLEEP FOREVER.  WELL, MAYBE IT’S A LITTLE THAT I HAVEN’T SLEPT THE PAST THREE DAYS.  JUST A LITTLE.” ANAKIN SKYWALKER, ANAKIN SKYWALKER, ANAKIN SKYWALKER
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FACE DOWN ON THE FLOOR VADER YOU CAN PUT HIM ON ROBO STILTS AND YOU CAN PUT A DEATH’S HEAD MASK ON HIM AND YOU CAN CHANGE HIS VOICE AND YOU CAN DEEP FRY HIM IN THE DARK SIDE BUT THAT IS STILL ANAKIN FUCKING SKYWALKER RIGHT THERE HE HASN’T EATEN ANYTHING OTHER THAN CHEESE CURLS IN THE LAST 18 HOURS NOW YOU KNOW OBI-WAN’S PAIN AT TRYING TO GET THIS NERD TO EAT ANYTHING EVEN RESEMBLING A VEGETABLE AND I 100% BELIEVE ANAKIN WOULD FIND A WAY TO STILL EAT NOTHING BUT CHEESE CURLS EVEN WITH THE SUIT HE’S A MECHANICAL GENIUS AND HE’S THE MOST DETERMINED IDIOT YOU’LL EVER KNOW HE WOULD FIND A WAY AND THEN EAT NOTHING BUT CHEETOS, I BELIEVE IN HIM
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THE ABSOLUTE CONFUSION ON HIS FACE WHEN SOMEONE SAYS HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO HIM IT IS RAINING ON MY FACE BECAUSE I LAUGHED SO HARD I CRIED GOD I LOVE THIS WEIRD NERD ASSHOLE HE IS THE BEST AND IF HE WOULDN’T KILL ME FOR KNOWING ABOUT IT I WOULD TOTALLY JOIN HIM ON THE CHEESE CURL COVERED FLOOR WHEN HE’S FEELING DOWN
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crevicedwelling · 1 year
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Ah HA. I am no longer fooled. These Leatherleaf Slugs are REAL LIVE CREATURES.
Well. No, I'm like....75% not fooled anymore. I'm.....still a tiny bit on the fence because I was not prepared for them to have facial expressions.
I've spent a solid week staring at your Smiling Flat Friends with their happy little eyes and animated faces, TRYING to figure out if they were real creatures or just a very clever art project.
I am informed, however, that these exist. Out in the wild. And not on, say, Etsy.
Strong work. 10/10 in the Flat Guys category and another 10/10 for Subtle Etsy-an Camouflage. Excellent emoting with their little eyes. Would highly recommend, particularly if one has an excess of zucchini or cucumber.
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this is the funniest ask I’ve ever gotten
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frizzle-mcshizzle · 2 months
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[crawling towards you, I am translucent pale and my lips are cracked. You feel pity. It’s as though I’ve crawled through the desert just to find you. I reach out]
Dex Dizznee… I need headcanons… [coUGh]… please
this literally the funniest ask ive ever gotten this was amazing to wake up to
you also have amazing timing i have been brain rotting about Stinex (or as im calling it now Copper Mares) for the past two days so hes very much on my mind rn
he's self taught ambidextrous, and intentionally uses it as a pun with his name
he has curly hair and a ton of freckles
while his dad has five older siblings he only has three cousins that are around his age on that side and his family doesn't have a good relationship with his uncle so he doesn't see two of them at all
he has been helping Kesler in Slurps and burps since he was 8, and when he was a baby the first thing that made him laugh was the burping doors
the Dizzee's and Ruewens have weekly movie nights where they will all (including the adults and bodyguards) take turns choosing the movie
he has a collection of human technology that his mom got him that he consistently uses to make better weapons or things that can help around the house
his entire family has panic-switches and he has a master panic switch ring that will let him now whos in trouble where they are located with the projectable screen
he ends up telling Rex he will be talantless after talking to his parents about it, instead of that putting strain on their relationship it made Rex and Dex closer as he did everything he could to make things that would give talentless some kind of ability
he made Livvy a light projection tool so she doesn't have to hold Candles while doing her job
Dex and Stina were friends when they where very little but when the Heks realized that distancing themselves from the Dizznee's would increase their social status they quickly cut them off
when he was growing up he only saw Edaline and Grady during their quarterly exiler refills at slurps and burps, Juline invited them over for dinner more than once but they couldn't handle being around children for that long so they never came.
after he was hit by the melder he couldn't go home for two weeks he was constantly having full body spasms and had constant migraines, the triplets where so worried about him that they took turns visiting and being unnaturally quiet so they could see him
he's terrified of fire but tries not to show it, but when she's around it he can't help but stare at it like it's going to jump out and attack him. hes afraid of Marella after she maifested but doesn't want to be because he know she's wont hurt him. but when he sees her control fire all he can think about is getting burned by brant
when they where kiddnapped he wasn't constantly sedated like Sophie was and remembers much more than she does, he remembers her screams and them forcing sedatives down her throat, he rarely talks about it because no one asks and if he mentions it in front of his parents they get these galzed over looks on their faces and Juline's hands start to ice over, so he stops because hes already put then through enough
he has nightmares that make him wake up screaming, sometimes Lovise will the only one to hear him because he stops before the rest of his family wakes up. she will sit with him and teach him calming techniques that Goblins soliders use, other times his parents would wake up and sit with him for minutes yo hours, sometimes in silence sometimes he would cry, it happens at least once a week, sometimes more.
he has a stuffed griffon Ewlin got him while he was recovering called called feathersworth, he keeps it under his pillow whenever he's sleeping and
sometimes he will stay up into the odd hours of the morning just to avoid going to sleep because he doesn't want to have nightmares, Lovise will have to physically pull him to his bedroom because hes been awake for more than 24 hours and is still fighting sleep
he missed his mom and dad more than anything while he was with the black swan desperately wanting to talk to them. when he found out that Juline was squall it took him forever to forgive her, it put a lot of strain on their relationship and while Juline did her best to make it up to him it, it was just something he had to forgive her for because nothing can make up for that.
he is one of the only people that Tinker will have actual conversations with, and he knows almost as much about her as wraith does, he likes working with her more than lady Iskra because she actually lets him use his unorthodox methods of making things instead of forcing him to make things the traditional way
his extended family has get togethers once a year, not all of Kesler's siblings attend every year but he knows his grandparents very well and spends a lot of time with them
less a headcannon but i think he should lose his arm, his names means righthanded and i think it would be funny if he just didn't have a right hand anymore also because angst
is that enough headcannons, are you alive now, this made me want to write dex's pov when he was kidnapped so...
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