#this took me approximately ONE THOUSAND YEARS

[chiropteracupola]

dress up nice (and don't get any blood on yourself this time, please)

[collaboration with @dxppercxdxver again. we are still going.]

#em draws stuff #flintlock fortress #team fortress 2 #FINALLY this is done it took me more than five hundred thousand years [editor's note: it took them approximately four days] #this one does show a little that I went to tumblr university instead of art school when it comes to certain design elements. So What. #also I am pretty sure that I used up my Realistic Hands quota for the rest of my life somewhere partway through this drawing #forgive me the couple of fucked-up ones because I also drew four really really super nice hands for a different thing. also a jawbone. #maybe I will also post the jawbone since it does look very good #.....anyway. 'twas about time for a Significant Outfitting Moment in these parts. #proves something about my own sensibilities because I do feel a little bit scandalous for having drawn this. #this is honestly a really silly thing for me personally to get scandalized by (for a variety of reasons that I won't share) #I think it would read better if I reordered the panels but ah I simply do not feel like it. take it as it is. #finishing march strong by not doing so so so many tasks and doing this again. if you need me I'll be in the soup for the next while.

[haggishlyhagging]

It took about two hours for Daina Taimina to find the solution that had eluded mathematicians for over a century. It was 1997, and the Latvian mathematician was participating in a geometry workshop at Cornell University. David Henderson, the professor leading the workshop, was modelling a hyperbolic plane constructed out of thin, circular strips of paper taped together. 'It was disgusting,' laughed Taimina in an interview.

A hyperbolic plane is 'the geometric opposite' of a sphere, explains Henderson in an interview with arts and culture magazine Cabinet. 'On a sphere, the surface curves in on itself and is closed. A hyperbolic plane is a surface in which the space curves away from itself at every point.' It exists in nature in ruffled lettuce leaves, in coral leaf, in sea slugs, in cancer cells. Hyperbolic geometry is used by statisticians when they work with multidimensional data, by Pixar animators when they want to simulate realistic cloth, by auto-industry engineers to design aerodynamic cars, by acoustic engineers to design concert halls. It's the foundation of the theory of relativity, and thus the closest thing we have to an understanding of the shape of the universe. In short, hyperbolic space is a pretty big deal.

But for thousands of years, hyperbolic space didn't exist. At least it didn't according to mathematicians, who believed that there were only two types of space: Euclidean, or flat space, like a table, and spherical space, like a ball. In the nineteenth century, hyperbolic space was discovered - but only in principle. And although mathematicians tried for over a century to find a way to successfully represent this space physically, no one managed it - until Taimina attended that workshop at Cornell. Because as well as being a professor of mathematics, Taimina also liked to crochet.

Taimina learnt to crochet as a schoolgirl. Growing up in Latvia, part of the former Soviet Union, 'you fix your own car, you fix your own faucet - anything', she explains. 'When I was growing up, knitting or any other handiwork meant you could make a dress or a sweater different from everybody else's.' But while she had always seen patterns and algorithms in knitting and crochet, Taimina had never connected this traditional, domestic, feminine skill with her professional work in maths. Until that workshop in 1997. When she saw the battered paper approximation Henderson was using to explain hyperbolic space, she realised: I can make this out of crochet.

And so that's what she did. She spent her summer 'crocheting a classroom set of hyperbolic forms' by the swimming pool. 'People walked by, and they asked me, "What are you doing?" And I answered, "Oh, I'm crocheting the hyperbolic plane."' She has now created hundreds of models and explains that in the process of making them 'you get a very concrete sense of the space expanding exponentially. The first rows take no time but the later rows can take literally hours, they have so many stitches. You get a visceral sense of what "hyperbolic" really means.' Just looking at her models did the same for others: in an interview with the New York Times Taimina recalled a professor who had taught hyperbolic space for years seeing one and saying, 'Oh, so that's how they look.' Now her creations are the standard model for explaining hyperbolic space.

-Caroline Criado Perez, Invisible Women

Photo credit

#caroline criado perez #Daina Taimina #women in stem #women’s history #women in science #crochet #crocheting #female mathematicians #hyperbolic space

[m1d-45]

second chances

summary: baizhu knows he isn’t your favorite, but he still finds himself hoping for the impossible. maybe, with enough prayer, he’ll get it.

word count: ~2k

-> warnings: major spoilers for baizhu story quest + lore + liyue archon quest, based on me and my experience (vaguely disliked baizhu at first due to partial information, immediately changed my mind w his quest and now adores him, doesn’t have kirara)

-> gn reader (you/yours) and unspecified traveller (they/them)

taglist: @samarill || @thenyxsky || @valeriele3 || @shizunxie || @boba-is-a-soup || @yuus3n || @esthelily || @turningfrogsgay || @cupandtea24 || @genshin-impacts-me || @chaoticfivesworld || @raaawwwr

< masterlist >

baizhu knows he isn’t the most favored.

from the first moment the traveller set foot in his office, he knew. he wasn’t met with anything special, no big flair from his god when you first saw him. it was to be expected, with how much time he spent praying—could gods have regulars?

it was simple. a quick ‘oh, the snake talks?’ thrown his way, a comment or two about his choice of outfit or the jade pendant hanging off his vision, and that was that. mostly, you seemed preoccupied with qiqi and the funeral parlor’s consultant, something to be expected. he was a quick stop on your journey, a note in the margins about the doctor you met at the pharmacy. it made sense, of course, that you’d be occupied with the death of rex lapis during the failed rite of descension, and the return of osial and beisht surely took priority over him. he offered little, only a dialogue or two actually shared between him and the traveller when you were present. he’d gathered as much of his energy, saved it for your arrival to make a good impression, so… it made sense you’d fret over qiqi, constantly forgetful as she was.

it made sense. he’d… made his peace. he had more to worry about, surely, what with orders to fulfill and his own condition to manage. maybe not more important—never, not maybe, what was he thinking?—but certainly more.

when your attention on qiqi flared, spurred by some unknown whim, he delighted a bit in being close to her, even if your thoughts on him weren’t entirely positive.

it was fair. you liked qiqi, and were concerned. it made sense you didn’t know every detail of teyvat, and since he’s never had the chance to come to you and spell out his story directly, it made sense you’d make some assumptions.

“i guess that makes sense, but still… qiqi deserves better.”

she probably did, in truth, but hearing it from you…

he’s had his vision for years by this point. he’s hd it for as long as he’d had changsheng, to be exact, and she was always able to remind him of exactly how long that had been.

“ssseven yearsss, four monthsss, thirteen daysss, and counting…”

“ah… thank you, changsheng.”

he knew he wasn’t special. out of the thousands of vision wielders across teyvat, only a handful have started having their constellations appear in the sky. just under a hundred, by his approximation, but he tried not to count. if he sought out the proper numbers, tried to pin down a percentage of those with a vision that had a chance to hold their god’s attention, then he’d start trying to find patterns. he was a doctor, patterns and rhythms were his literal job, but he knew that wouldn’t end well.

(a librarian, an alchemist, a lawyer: did you perhaps favor more studious types? a bartender, an exorcist, a detective: or those with a drive in their lives? a nobody, a traveller, a wandering samurai: or those seeking one out for themselves?)

there wasn’t a pattern. it was random. and part of him hated it.

baizhu had had his vision for seven years, eight months, and thirteen (was it fourteen? the sky was growing dark) days, and had never once seen his stars in the sky.

he had one. he had a constellation, something he knew was rare among vision wielders, but it didn’t guarantee him a spot in the sky any time soon. kirara had hers long before she had her chance in the heavens—they’d spoken about that, both hesitant to show the other their divine gift, but willing to speak of its existence.

and now kirara’s turn had passed. though her vision didn’t shine any brighter, he could see the pride in her smile when she dropped off another delivery at the pharmacy. sign here, check these, make sure this is what you ordered, goodbye have a good day, pretend like yours doesn’t weigh more after seeing hers.

it wasn’t as if he was unremarkable. a perfectly healthy man who had thrown himself into illness to find the cure for all of them? surely that was interesting, wasn’t it? but it wasn’t his time, he was being impatient, slipping back to the same mindset he condemned his patients for.

“patience. medicine doesn’t work in an instant, and you’ll need to be taking this for the next week at minimum.”

“but it’s so bitter!”

“then tell me, what tastes worse: bile, or this pill? if you want to stop being sick, you need to take it.”

patience.

qiqi was blessed with a place in the stars near instantly after she’d gotten her vision, but she was not the norm. perhaps his expectations were weighted, then? or maybe you disliked his work entirely? he didn’t like entertaining what ifs, but when various aches kept him up, there was little else he could do while he waited for his medication to take effect. patience, he tried to remind himself, counting his breaths. be patient. wait, be calm, don’t agitate yourself. count in, count out, are your breaths getting shorter? just stay calm, be patient…

the first time he saw you, he knew you were coming. he’d saved as much energy as he could, doing his best to make a good impression. but now, with changsheng nudging him awake urgently, pushing him into his shoes and putting his glasses on for him, the first thing he’d expected was the millelith, maybe, or perhaps the ministry of civil affairs. maybe he was needed urgently, maybe something had happened to qiqi, maybe he was late for his medication and he’d get terrible headaches if he wasn’t quick- oh, but then why would she bother to coil around his shoulders?

and yet, out of all those possibilities, none were correct.

“hey! who’s talking about me behind my back?”

“changsheng, qiqi meant that as a compliment. there’s no need to be upset.”

it had been so long since he’d felt your light, far longer since he’d been properly healthy. he’d forgotten how it felt to walk without the dull ache in his joints, and yet here he was. standing by gui and a familiar looking child, speaking with your traveller. it was easy to say words he didn’t choose, his throat not getting dry despite the lack of his morning tea.

the quest was long, and by the end he should have been exhausted. between taking on jialiang’s sickness to turning him into a zombie, he should have been out of commission for the next few days. as it was he had a nasty cough, his breath coming shorter than typical… but that was it. he took his regular medication at the dinner with your traveller, the linger of your aura on them still seeming to dull his pains. how curious, that you could cure ailments even he couldn’t name anymore…

“baizhu, are you alright?” idly, he wondered if the traveller noticed the change in their voice when they were speaking for you. it always sounded a bit lighter, a bit of your emotions bleeding through… a pity he’d never know why. “today must have been taxing for you…”

all eyes were on him now, even qiqi’s. “i’m doing fine,” he said simply, taking another sip of his tea. “better than normal, if anything, which i have to owe to our guest.”

paimon still seemed nervous. “but what about when we leave? what if everything hits you all at once? normally you stay at the pharmacy, and using your power so much…”

a fair assessment. while he was no stranger to combat, to be thrown in the middle of a pack of such vicious hilichurls was a shock. still, he had made it through—even if, privately, he doubted it would have been so clean without you there. “i will be fine. even if my condition declines, i am well equipped to handle flare ups.”

it seemed the whole group was hesitant to let him go. changsheng insisted he stay up until three hours had past since the traveller left, when his limbs again felt heavy and his head began to hurt. something odd was stirring in his chest, and he was eager to get to bed before it sparked into anything more. it was reasonable, he knew, but there were only so many prescriptions to prepare before he had nothing left to do. gui had long since went to bed, leaving just him in the lobby of the pharmacy, quietly double checking his stock of herbs.

eventually, he stood from his seat, returning the sweet flowers to their proper place. he held up an hand to let changsheng climb up his arm, closing up the pharmacy. she curled around his shoulders twice, a familiar weight. the night was cool, a slight breeze bumping the chain of his glasses against his cheek. it had been a long few days, and he was happy that everything was settled. he’d done all he could for jialiang, and he and his family hopefully wouldn’t be coming back for quite some time. back to routine…

“…baizhu?”

he checked the lock with a quick tug, “yes? what is it?”

“the ssstarsss… they’re due, aren’t they?”

ah. the cycles of constellations, switching through the sky. if he thought about it.. yes, they were, weren’t they?

“by my memory, they are. why?”

her head was turned, looking off to the part of the sky not obscured by the roof of the pharmacy.

“…changsheng-“

“look.”

“it’s late.” his heart began to pick up, false hopes being raised. patience, he chided himself, but what follower did not wish for acknowledgment from their god? “we should go to sleep before we fall too far out of schedule.”

“baizhu! i know you have better sssenses than that.”

perhaps he did. his vision burned where it was clipped to his side, invisible vines creeping up toward his heart. “don’t be too hasty,” he said quietly, the words tasting as bitter as his pills.

don’t be too hasty. you could still be wrong. don’t get your hopes up. be patient.

one hand went to his hip, undoing the clasp of his vision, the other settling on the railing. a few clouds dotted the sky, but he lifted his vision anyway, searching for any stars tinted green.

everything happened at once. the terrace was replaced with an ocean of skies, the slight mumble of “i do have a guaranteed…” getting lost in the whirlwind around him. he was weightless, trapped in by an invisible box, only dimly aware of the fact that his pain had once again disappeared. he was floating, dressed in the attire he normally saved for formal events—dressed in what he’d put on when you’d first arrived—with no sight of the pharmacy below him. it was just him and changsheng, him and changsheng and the bright light that came from everywhere, lifting him from his unseen prison.

a laugh, a smile, a rush of power flooding through him, and when he next set foot in front of the pharmacy, he did so with a new gleam to his vision. he could hear a door open behind him—qiqi, if he had to guess, as why wouldn’t she be drawn to the power the adepti could only hope to imitate?—but couldn’t turn, breathless.

“welcome home, doc.. it’s good to see you.”

it had taken seven years, four months, and 25 days, but he was here. and it was more than he could have ever asked for.

#genshin #genshin impact #genshin sagau #sagau #self aware genshin #baizhu #sagau baizhu #sagau aether #sagau lumine #sagau paimon #sagau qiqi #i guess? #fluff #sagau fluff #hurt/comfort #genshin hurt/comfort #sure?? god every time this gets harder to do #i feel like one of those authors on ao3 that ‘sorry this chapters late i [insane life events]’ 3 #except much lamer. ‘i was sick’ ‘i was overwhelmed and couldn’t get the brain juice going’ ‘the brain juice did go but in the wrong way’ #genshin self aware au

[sorrowsofsilence]

Burning Out • III

Pairing: Noah Sebastian x Fem!Reader

I was lost, but now I'm found Under the lights and in the sounds So let us sing and sing it loud That we're not perfect, but we're proud of who we are.

Noah Sebastian is lost. His crime-filled lifestyle is anything but perfect; but everything changes once he meets you.

Words: 6.3k

Warnings: Smut 18+ (female!fingering), explicit language, mentions of drinking, mentions of taking pills, mentions of death

Authors note: Chapter Three - A Dreamlike Heathen: this chapter isn’t as long as I hoped but I do hope you enjoy <3 I’m sorry it took so long for me to upload!!! Songs are Dreamlike by Dead By April and Heathens by Aurora! Also I’m sorry for any mistakes I wanted to publish this and it’s not proofread and it’s currently 1am here and I’m so sleepy lol

THIS IS A FANFICTION USING REAL PEOPLE IN A FICTIONAL SITUATION! I AM NOT IMPLYING THESE PEOPLE WOULD DO THE THINGS IN THE STORY OR ACT THE WAY THEY DO IN THE STORY IN REAL LIFE! IT IS FICTION! IT IS JUST FOR FUN! &lt;3

Tags: @crimson-calligraphyx @lma1986 @spicywhenspeaking @sammyjoeee @shilohrosechicken @princessmarshmallowx @laurpartyprogram @cookiesupplier @nojoyontheburn @lacktoesandtoddlerants @veronicaphoenix @er3nslovergirl @melinacchss-blog @cncohshit @thescarlettvvitch @scrumptiousfestivalpost

“Fuck Noah,” She whispered, panting as she threw her head back into the mirror, eyebrows furrowed in pleasure.

“Oh my god don’t stop.” She moaned, and I obliged, giving her everything I could.

“Come Y/N,” I said between sucking, and squeezing her hips, “be a good girl for me.”

Her legs began to vibrate, her mouth open, sound unable to escape as she shook through her orgasm. I didn’t stop until she physically pushed me away, shallow breaths leaving her lips.

I grabbed her chin, pulling her lips to mine, begging her to taste herself from my tongue.

“Life had broken her; just as it had broken him. But when they got together, their pieces became whole. And they started on their journey, together, mended as one.” - Steve Maraboli

+++++

Noah

Twenty fucking thousand dollars. Twenty.

My mind kept racing over two things. The fact I had to somehow come up with all this money myself; and the fact I slept with Y/N last night. I sat on the cot in our motel room the next morning, head in my hands as my leg bounced nervously.

“I-I should go,” Y/N hopped off the counter, wiping my release off of her stomach before readjusting her shorts.

“wait-” I grabbed her wrist, pulling her back toward my drunken state, “can I see you again?”

She gave me a wry smile, “I’d like that.” She tugged from my grasp but I held her tighter, pulling her into my arms.

My body remained swaying, the euphoria and alcohol mixed, “do you regret what just happened?”

I wasn’t sure if this question was for me, or her.

“No,” She said, her fingertips running up the skin of my neck. She fit against my body perfectly, as if she was always meant to be there.

I had left the bar with the boys minutes after fucking Y/N’s brains out, stealing lingering glances at her figure behind the counter before parting. Even though I was drunk, I couldn’t believe it happened… but I needed a release, a bit of euphoria to ride out through dealing with the crushing news D gave us.

Twenty thousand.

I looked at the anklet D put on me, the green dot blinking periodically. I couldn’t believe the fucking bastard was tracking our every move. He’d followed us for years, but this was next level.

I also had no idea how to get that much money by myself. The boys and I alternated job’s each night for our sanity, but the fact I had to keep a journal and record each place I got the money from, and then submit it to one of D’s bitches so he could ensure only I was doing the work, was ridiculous.

Twenty thousand this month would mean I’d need to get approximately 645 dollars a day since there were 31 days this month. Which realistically didn’t seem too bad once broken down; but some days I could bring in thousands, others, absolutely nothing at all. At least my final day of owing will be a fantastic birthday present to me.

I groaned, flopping back into the mattress on the floor, my thoughts overwhelming. Everything has led up to this moment, and I was still completely fucked.

Jolly sat on his bed, strumming away on his old acoustic guitar that was barely holding onto the strings. With his hands dancing along the neck, I closed my eyes to the rhythm he created, fingers tapping along the beat.

I began humming, words spiralling out of my mouth subconsciously, “I’ve seen the devil, more than I’ve seen god.”

Jolly gave me a slight snicker, continuing to strum, “I like that.”

“I see through you, I know what you are.”

I repeated the two phrases over and over, singing lowly as I continued to drum my fingers. Hmm. I checked the time on my phone briefly, realizing it was 4:30 pm.

I sat up, grabbed my bag and swung it over my shoulder.

“Where are you going?” Jolly asked.

“To see Y/N.”

“Why?” Jolly stopped playing, placing the guitar across the bedsheets.

It's been twenty long years I've cried, but not enough tears I've become the sum of all my fears (I feel scared, so scared)

I stared at him blankly, the cogs within my mind turning to find an answer themselves. Why was I going to see her? Why did I care that I made it for when she got off work at the cafe? Something about her was magnetizing, and I couldn’t help but crave more. I wanted to explore her mind and body; to know her in every way possible.

I don’t have time to think of someone like her; I don’t deserve to think of someone like her.

I have a job to do.

But I don’t care.

“I don’t know,” I turned to look at him with my hand on the doorknob.

Jolly’s eyes watched back quizzically, “I think you should leave her out of this. Break it off now.”

I furrowed my brows, “There’s nothing to break off.”

Jolly gave me a curt laugh, “Yea, which is why you fucked in the bathroom yesterday. Nothing to break off.”

My face warmed, unsure of how he knew. I didn’t think it was obvious.

“She seems like a nice girl. You wouldn’t want to get her killed,” Jolly warned. He wasn’t wrong. This line of business wasn’t exactly safe, and I knew I shouldn’t get Y/N involved.

“She already knows too much,” I said, avoiding his eyes as I stared at the floor.

“Det är inte riktigt rätt möblerat på övervåningen hos dig.” Jolly groaned, rubbing his eyes with his palm. Your top floor is not properly furnished (Mind is a mess).

I rolled my eyes, “Oh don’t bring out the Swedish insults you asshat.”

“Well, I suggest you break her heart now before it’s too late.”

I bit my lip as I opened the door, ignoring his burning words.

“Din jävla fubbick,” I heard the swede mutter before I shut the door. You damn moron.

Guilt washed over my body as I took long strides through the motel parking lot, my mind spiralling and my palms sweating. What am I doing?

Jolly was right; Y/N shouldn’t be mixed up in this; but part of me yearned for her. I haven’t had someone willing to listen to my thoughts for years. I’ve never had anyone else to relate to other than my brothers.

I wanted to share everything about me and learn everything about her, and she felt safe to do so. She was also wildly gorgeous; her e/c eyes glimmered with so much hope, something I aspired to have one day. Maybe I could even share with her. Hope.

You gave me a strength unparalleled But nothing compared to how much I've bled (I feel scared, so scared)

+++++

Y/N

He hasn’t shown up for his coffee again today. Did he regret what happened last night?

I swept between the tables and recalled the previous events. I don’t even know what came over me yesterday, but I do know that I didn’t have any regrets.

I knew my face began to warm as I recalled the way Noah’s fingers dug into my hips, gripping onto me as he pounded into me mercilessly; drowning his sorrows through the pleasure of our bodies.

I couldn’t stop thinking about the way he stared into me, aching with fervour and hunger, begging me to give everything to him.

I wanna know what it feels like Is it nothing but dreamlike? I wanna touch you now

It was anything but romantic- having a quick fuck in the bathroom of a bar, but I longed for Noah even more after that.

I feel like I’m going crazy. How could he have such a hold over me, especially after finding out he is a criminal? I should be running; so why can’t I let him go?

Lust? Infatuation? Whatever it is, I crave him.

I pushed away my thoughts, finishing the rest of my closing tasks and clocking out. I waved to Annika as I pulled my hoodie over my head, grabbing my bag and de-tangling my earbuds.

As I walked out the door a hand immediately grabbed my own, pulling me towards them. A light squeal of surprise left my lips as he pulled me into his body, giving me a side hug.

“Noah?” I looked up to see a small smile dancing across the man’s lips as he towered over me. My eyes travelled across his neck tattoo, marvelling at its glory before trailing across his face in awe, my heart hammering once again.

His dancing eyes smiled as he wrapped his other arm around me, embracing me fully. I couldn’t help but grin as my face smushed into his chest, inhaling his scent; instantly comforted.

How can it feel so right? It is nothing but dreamlike I'm gonna touch you now

“You came,” I said, surprising myself. The way Noah’s cage felt immensely protective and serene as he embedded me into his chest, left my pulse pounding with elation.

“I wanted to be here for when you got off work,” He said, squeezing me gently before letting go. “Do you want to do something before your next shift?”

I gave him a cheeky grin, “Something?”

Noah licked his lips before matching my smile, putting his finger through the belt loop of my jeans, and tugging me along beside him as we walked down the sidewalk. I flushed at the gesture as he held me next to him as if claiming me for his own.

“I meant like, dinner,” He hummed, “but I also can’t stop thinking about last night.”

“Come Y/N,” he had said between sucking and squeezing my hips, “be a good girl for me.”

A shudder ran down my spine as my mind wandered, and I peered up at Noah, his cheeks flushing through his confession.

“Me too,” I said softly, “Did you want to come back to my place? We could order takeout… because I need to get my clothes for my next shift.”

“I’d like that,” Noah peered down at me warmly.

We walked together in silence, the only sound the bustle of life that surrounded the sidewalk as we passed various shops, heading towards my neighbourhood. For “level two acquaintances” the silence between the two of us was soothing, something that I think shocked us both.

Noah let go of my belt loop, shoving his hands inside of his pockets. I looked over at him, his expression filled with thought and worry, something eating him alive.

“Did you want to talk about it?” I asked gently, looking ahead as the light breeze slid past my cheeks.

Noah was quiet, eyes darting back and forth, “I trust you so much, and I don’t know why.”

I nodded, agreeing with his concern silently, letting him continue.

“and I don’t know who else to talk to about this with…my brothers are too involved and have enough opinions as it is,” Noah said, following me down the path that led us towards my house.

“Remember how I told you we owe a lot of money to this… guy? Well, this month is supposed to be our last month, and then we are finally free.”

I smiled widely, grabbing Noah’s arm in excitement, shaking him gently, “That’s great news! You’ll be done with it forever!”

Noah chuckled darkly, rolling his head to the side in annoyance, “Yeah, well, there’s a catch.”

My grip on his arm fell, a sullen expression taking over my joy.

“I have to get him twenty thousand, myself. The boys can’t help me.”

“Twenty thousand?” I exclaimed, stopping in my tracks to look at him, “That’s a shit ton of money.”

Noah’s hand ran across his face in frustration, pinching the bridge of his nose, “I know. I am beyond fucked.”

I blinked a few times in disbelief as we approached the steps to my house, the greeting of Juice’s trill on the other side of the door inviting us in. Noah was immediately bombarded with cat love and he gave the furry animal a small smile, bending down to scratch the top of his head before running his fingers down Juice’s back.

Closing the door I kicked off my sneakers, hanging my bag on the coat rack. Noah followed, placing his black vans politely by the front door; which was when I noticed a small anklet blinking beneath the hem of his pants.

I stared at it quizzically, and Noah caught my gaze. He lifted his leg, mouth forming a tight line.

“Like my new accessory?” Anger seethed from his tongue as he gave me a sarcastic smile, before standing in front of me, completely defeated.

I led us upstairs into my bedroom, “What is it?”

“A tracker.”

I stopped at the top, turning around to look at him, “What do you mean a tracker?” I watched his ankle with cautious eyes, flickering between Noah and the device.

He sighed heavily as I turned back around, opening my bedroom door. Noah immediately flopped onto my bed, inviting himself to lay on his back as he spread his limbs out, “The guy’s name is D, the one we owe. He said that to make sure I wasn’t getting the boys’ help with the money, we all need to wear these fucking trackers. I also need to keep a log of where the money comes from so it matches up with my location, and deposit it each week.”

“And this all happened last night?”

He nodded, and I watched as Noah’s eyes squeezed shut in frustration, tears pricking them. I stood next to the bed, watching for a moment as his chest heaved, crumbling before me. I then crawled next to him, sitting up as he rolled over. He placed his head onto my lap, holding himself against my thighs as silent tears cascaded down his cheeks.

“I…I’m barely holding on,” He whispered.

My fingers began running through Noah’s scalp, lacing themselves through his chestnut strands in an attempt to soothe him, showing my support. I hear you.

My heart yearned for him once again, filled with sorrow and pain as he suffered in torment, dealing with the burden of his demons. Noah didn’t deserve this. He was young when he fucked up, and he hasn’t been able to escape. I saw myself within his pain, my past mirroring back at me.

“I just keep hoping that one day I’ll have something else motivating me- something more than fear, more than spite. I wanna feel like I’m living.”

I listened to Noah’s words as they resonated with me. I too, wanted to feel like I was living.

I had never been part of the right crowd, and I was always getting into trouble, due to the influence of my previous relationships. I followed their shenanigans because I had nobody else to model- and I made some poor choices. I chose to follow them.

However, I also chose to leave- to start fresh and to forget about my past. People can change, and people can grow, and Noah deserved the same opportunity. He was being puppeteered by an evil man; and I wanted to help him escape, as much as he wanted his freedom.

I chewed my cheek in contemplation, fingers still stroking his hair, “let me help you, Noah.”

“Help with what?”

“The money. You don’t deserve to do it alone.”

Noah sat up now, watching me intensely from across the bed, “You’ve built yourself a new life Y/N. Don’t fuck it up now.”

He was right. Why was I willing to risk it all?

“I’ve been willing to fuck it up the second I saw you at the cafe,” I traced his face, analyzing his expression before my mind wandered to an idea; one so insane I couldn't even believe I was about to suggest this.

“I’m going to sound crazy, and I can’t believe I’m going to say this,” I hesitated for a moment, sucking in a breath between my teeth, “but why don't you come live with me? You and your brothers?”

Noah’s eyes widened, lips parting slightly in perplexity. He blinked a few times, and I continued my thought.

“You won’t need to pay rent or anything, so you guys can save money to pay this D guy faster. The motel money probably adds up.”

Noah slid off the bed, standing up abruptly, folding his arms over his body in defence, “You cannot be serious,” he laughed with incredulity.

“Listen, Noah,” I scooted to sit on the edge of the bed, looking up at him, “I was stuck for a long time, and I didn’t have a helping hand… but I have enough to offer you. I know what it’s like to struggle.”

Noah’s fingers ran through his hair as he began pacing, shaking his head, “I don’t need your pity Y/N.”

“This isn’t pity, I swear,” I stood up, approaching Noah gently, holding both of his biceps to keep him in place from his anxious wading, “I wished someone had helped me when I needed it.”

He stared down at me in complete disbelief, his eyes scanning mine for any signs of doubt; but I remained confident in my suggestion, staring at him assuringly.

“so let me help you,” I whispered, reaching up to place a gentle hand on his cheek. With a racing heart, I rubbed my thumb across his skin, bewildered at my words.

He closed his eyes in conflict and placed a hand on top of my own, clammy and nervous.

“Why are you helping a monster?” Noah breathed, leaning into my touch, curious eyes observing me.

“Everyone deserves help. You deserve it.”

What are we allowed to do? What are we allowed to be?

“You’re not a monster Noah,” placing a hand on his other cheek, I stood on my tiptoes, pulling him down towards me, kissing the tip of his nose delicately.

I wanna cross the line with you Let's pass the point of no return

Noah watched me with pure awe, matching me by grabbing either side of my face, and placing his forehead on my own, “You are fucking crazy.”

Is this wrong? I don't wanna know A big mistake? I don't wanna know

I chuckled softly, “I completely agree with you, I think I am insane for offering this.”

I wanna know what it feels like Is it nothing but dreamlike? I wanna touch you now

Noah laughed quietly with me, still in complete doubt. His eyes kept trailing between my own and my lips, as if trying not to kiss me, before giving in.

How can it feel so right? It is nothing but dreamlike I'm gonna touch you now

Noah’s lips kissed me tenderly as he held my face, and I melted into his touch. With each greeting of our lips, the kiss became harder and deeper, the emotion transferring from him to me; radiating between us.

We remained standing, holding each other intimately for a few more moments before Noah pulled away. He rested his forehead against mine once again, brushing his thumb across my lips as his eyes peered into mine longingly.

“I’m sorry, not sorry for breaking into your house; because otherwise, we wouldn’t be here,” Noah said.

“I forgive you, clearly,” I laughed, “but you could always try to make it up to me again if you feel like it?”

Noah let out a puff of air, hands running down my neck along my curves, resting at the top of my hips, “I like that idea.”

I grinned at him, my hands resting at the back of his tattooed neck, the apple and snake teasing me.

Noah leaned towards my ear, warm breath tickling my skin, “I’m craving the way you taste- and I’ve only tasted you once.”

I hummed as he kissed me hungrily again, letting out a sigh of relief. Our heads tilted slowly as they switched from left to right, sharing open-mouth kisses, and devouring each other.

Noah rubbed his hips into my own, a soft moan trailing from my throat. As much as I wanted to continue, I knew I had to go to work soon.

I pushed his chest gently, “It’s already 6… I need to leave for work in half an hour.”

Noah gave me a sly smile, “You underestimating my skills?”

I chuckled, “Not at all.”

“I bet I could make you come in two minutes,” His fingers trailed up the sides of my torso, fingers tracing circles across the skin.

I hummed, “what do I get if you can’t?”

Noah leaned towards my ear, fingers squeezing right below my chest, “then I’ll fuck you so hard you won’t be able to walk, and you’ll come again.”

My body shivered from his words, and my stomach began to swirl with excitement as Noah’s hands worshiped my body, whispering lustful promises as he peppered kisses down my neck. Noah peeked over at the clock on my nightstand briefly.

“6:04.”

My eyes fluttered shut as the pace of my breathing picked up, Noah leading us towards the wall. My back hit the surface as he pushed his body against mine, heat radiating off of him.

Noah’s hand gripped my wrists as he lifted them above my head, holding me captive as his other trailed down my waistline toward my desire.

I succumbed to Noah’s touch as his touch slid through me, circling and prodding. Whatever he was doing left me completely giving in to his caress; the fact both of us were still completely clothed made this moment that much more invigorating.

Noah’s teeth hooked on my bottom lip as he ravaged my mouth. I moaned earnestly as his fingers sank through my slick, curling towards my need. His palm pushed against me, rubbing and maintaining a repetitive pattern, and my legs began to give out. How he could make me surrender with his hand alone had me flustered.

(I'm in a) (I'm in a) (I'm in a) I'm in a, I'm in a dreamlike state

I rutted my hips towards his touch and Noah smiled into my lips, “so needy,” he mumbled.

I sighed eagerly as he continued his method, my body trembling in response, close to my release.

“C’mon princess, you can do it,” Noah muttered, trailing his lips down my neck towards my collarbone, before snagging his teeth on a sensitive spot. He sucked and nibbled at my skin, branding me.

I didn’t even care, exhilaration taking over.

Noah slipped his fingers out, sliding them up until he reached the top, pressing the pad of his fingers and circling them quickly. I shuddered, my body crumbling as I cried out his name.

Can it feel so right? It is nothing but dreamlike I'm gonna touch you now

Noah smiled into me again as his head lay pressed against my neck, satisfied and prideful of his actions.

My chest heaved as I came down from the high, folding off of the wall into his arms. I clutched onto his sweater for support, turning my head to the clock. 6:08

“That was four minutes,” I panted.

“Looks like I owe you,” Noah’s smug smile said it all.

I chuckled, looking up at him, eyes dilated with satisfaction “Oh, what a shame.”

Noah grinned, the whites of his teeth making my heart flutter. He sat on my bed, adjusting himself in his pants before watching me pace around my room, picking out my work clothes.

I opted for leggings and a tight square-cut long sleeve. I took the clothes out of my closet, holding them to my chest before turning around.

“Uh…” I looked at the brunette, his hair cascading down his face perfectly, “Do you uhm, can you turn around?”

Noah choked out a laugh, “huh? you do realize that I’ve seen you like, partially naked? And literally just touched you?”

My face flushed, “Yeah… but still.”

Noah chuckled, obliging as he turned around on the bed to face the wall. I began stripping, pulling my leggings up before changing my shirt. I peered at Noah, noticing his head whip back around.

“Hey!” I laughed, “No peaking!”

Noah turned around once I was dressed, sticking his tongue out playfully, “Whatever do you mean?”

I rolled my eyes as Noah stood up, scratching the back of his neck, “I’d say we’ve at least levelled up to buddies.”

Yea, fuck buddies.

I hummed, “I agree, definitely more than level-two acquaintances.”

Noah nodded at me with a lighthearted glare, “Friends would be going too far right now though.”

“Definitely,” I mimicked his expression before leading us down the stairs. I peered in the mirror that was hung on the wall next to the door, eyes glancing at the hickey forming on the side of my neck. Fuck. Nothing I can do about that now.

“I’m sorry we didn’t get to eat,” I said, “but if you want, you could come to the bar?”

“I’d like that,” Noah bent down to slip on his vans as I put on my black Converse.

I chewed my lip, “Did you want to invite your friends? Maybe talk about the offer?”

Noah stood up, frowning, “Y/N- I couldn’t do that to you.”

“Well, at least ask them, see what they say,” I looked at him with a serious expression, “I wasn’t kidding with the offer. I have the basement finished but unfurnished; and a spare bedroom upstairs. You guys would have your own space.”

Noah stared at the floor, kicking up the side of the carpet nervously, “I mean I’ll talk to them.”

I couldn’t help but smile widely, “Please do. Now lets go or I’ll be late.”

+++++

NOAH

Ruffilo, Jolly, Folio and I sat in a booth at Sammy’s, the three of them watching me curiously as I explained the situation.

“She offered us a place to stay for free,” I peeked over at Y/N, stealing a glance as she catered to a few customers. Her H/C hair fell so delicately around her eyes, and my heart fluttered at how genuine and beautiful her smile was as she poured the drink for the woman in front of her. She lit up the room around her, her energy charismatic and incandescent.

“No fucking way we are doing that,” Jolly said, glancing at Y/N briefly before folding his arms, sinking into the leather of the booth.

“I mean,” Nick began, looking between us, “This would help us out a lot Jolly.”

“-and Noah,” Nicholas said, “Like we pay roughly 130 bucks a night. That’s $3,900 we’d save him right there.”

All of us peered over at Y/N, and she lifted her head, giving us all a smile.

“Why would she do that for you? For us? What’s in it for her?” Jolly said, skeptical.

I had no fucking idea why she would, but I was desperate for any amount of help I could get.

I shrugged, “I don’t know.”

She was selfless, enigmatic, and completely sublime.

“How long have you known her?” Nick raised a brow, plucking a fry from the plate in the middle of us.

I winced, “Er, two days?”

Folio’s eyes bulged out of his head as he leaned forward, chest pressed into the table, “Ain’t no fucking way this is real. She has to be getting something out of it.”

Jolly snorted, “yea, his dick.”

I scoffed, rolling my head back dramatically, “Oh fuck off !”

“That giant ass hickey proves it-”

“Oh, can it Jolly, have any of you ever thought that maybe Y/N is just a nice person?” Nicholas defended.

I grabbed a fry, dipping it in some ketchup before taking a bite, “people like us don’t deserve nice people.”

Ruffilo looked at me disappointedly, “Don’t say that. We’ve done some fucked up shit, but how else have we been able to get by?”

“Plus, we can’t help with the money. D doesn’t know Y/N exists, so he wouldn’t suspect the help.” Nick said, and Nicholas nodded in agreement.

I watched the three of them as they gave me a sullen smile, “I’m worried D will be suspicious that our locations will move though; and that it will put her in danger.”

“She must know there’s a risk, considering you filled her in on everything,” Nick took a sip of his beer.

“Why she’s willing to risk everything she’s worked towards beats me,” I said, sighing heavily.

“Worked towards?” Nicholas asked.

The boys waited for me to answer.

She bargains with the world So everything she wants will come to her With no greed inside her mind She knows what she deserves

“She’s been through some fucked up shit I guess, but she saved a bunch of money and moved here to start over her life. She works two jobs almost every day to afford everything,” I looked back at Y/N for a prolonged period, my heart beating quickly, “She just kept telling me she knows what it’s like, and she wished people helped her.”

“So pity?” Jolly gave me a sarcastic smile, nodding rapidly.

“No,” I defended, “she’s just a generous person.”

We remained silent, chewing our food quietly before Jolly spoke.

“Well, I suppose it’s worth a shot,” He said, eying the fries before staring at me, “for Noah.”

“Yeah, but also you guys. She offered it to all of us,” I said.

Nicholas looked over at her warmly, “That’s kind of her. Really kind.”

We fell from sky with grace And landed in her soft and warm embrace She gave her love, her gift of life So we could live with her

I stood up, walking towards the bar, sitting on a stool in front of her. She nodded to another customer before smiling at me, waltzing over.

“So?” She bit her lip, almost looking hopeful.

I picked at the resin counter, my nail grinding within a divot in the material as I distracted myself from her, “How early can we move in?”

“Tonight if you want.”

Y/N and I shared a look before I nodded, giving a gentle laugh, “Okay. Want to meet your new roommates? Considering you haven’t even met the guys you offered your entire life to.”

Y/N laughed, “yea. I’m realizing how crazy I sound the more realistic this becomes.”

I motioned for the boys to come over and they did, each with a beer in their hand, sitting on either side of me along the counter.

Y/N gave them a sunny grin, introducing herself.

“It’s nice to see you again,” Nicholas said politely.

“You as well,” she nodded, before looking at Folio.

“I’m Nick, Nick folio,” He held out his hand, wrapping around her own and shaking.

She then moved to Jolly, who gave her a curt smile. Although he was stand-off-ish, she greeted him warmly.

“Joakim, but call me Jolly,”

“So, tonight?” I eyed everyone, who all turned to look at Y/N.

She shrugged, “I’m off at midnight. I can help take stuff over.”

“Well, we don’t exactly have a lot. We can probably take everything in two trips,” Nick said.

“I can help, I’ll meet you guys at the motel.”

+++++

We packed everything into our backpacks and suitcases, and my chest tightened at the realization we would be leaving our ‘home’ of the last few years.

“This is crazy,” Nick shook his head as he played Tetris with our belongings, organizing them within our van.

“You gotta admit,” Nicholas began as he carried out the old guitars with Jolly, “It will be nice to be in an actual house for a while.”

“Good point,” Jolly mumbled, “But I’m still suspicious.”

That is why we live like heathens Stealing from the trees of Eden

Y/N made it over around 12:30, and we packed her car full as well; not that there was much room considering how small it is.

All of us stood outside the motel, part of us grieving for departing what we’ve always known; the other relishing in gratitude for this new opportunity.

Y/N placed a hand on my shoulder as I stared at the motel door plaintively.

Living in the arms of freedom And everything we touch is evil That is why we live like heathens

I gave her a sorrowful smile before nodding at my brothers, “Y/N will lead the way.”

I sat in the passenger seat of Y/N’s car, staring out the window as we drove past the buildings towards her neighbourhood; our new home.

I couldn’t believe this was happening. This woman was a complete gift, the strings of fate leaving me confounded yet wonderstruck.

Once we arrived and went inside, Juice greeted the boys, and each of them immediately fell in love with the orange fur ball. Y/N toured everyone around before leading us down to the basement. As Y/N mentioned it was unfurnished, but had a full bathroom. The only items around were a rack of guitars in pristine condition and a few cardboard boxes.

“Holy shit- is that a Martin D-41?” Jolly immediately smiled, walking over to assess the guitars, “and an Ernie Ball Music Man John Petrucci Majesty?”

“Damn, and a Gibson Thunderbird IV Bass?” Ruffilo joined in on the geek-sesh, both of them giddy.

Y/N laughed, “Wow, you must know your stuff. Those were my dads, he was really into music.”

She walked over, grazing her fingers across the strings, “I’ve kept them in his memory, but I have no idea how to play.”

I watched her as she picked up the Martin, handing it to Jolly, “feel free to use them whenever you want; they deserve some love, they were made to be played.”

Jolly’s lips fell open before he smiled warmly, gazing at the guitar, “You’re so fucking cool.”

We all chuckled and I watched Y/N in awe as she interacted with my brothers, taking them in and treating them as if she’d known us all for years.

The stone, the dirt, the dust The unforgiving promise made to us Unworthy of your light, your god, your touch We're guided by the lust

“I only have one blow-up mattress I take camping, but there is a bed in the spare room, and the couch in the living room…” She looked between the four of us until her eyes landed on me.

“Uh,” Her cheeks flushed as she spoke, “we can always share my bed tonight until I can pick up a couple of mattresses…”

We cry the fallen names We cry for those who burned beneath the flame We stand besides the good and brave The broken and enslaved

My face warmed along with her and I coughed, straightening up, “Yeah, no worries.”

The boys watched us, a low chuckle leaving Folio. Y/N grabbed spare blankets, pillows and the blow-up mattress from the closet. She set up the bed, which Jolly dibsed. Nick took the couch, and Nicholas took the spare room down the hall from Y/N’s.

Y/N and I went into her room and she shut the door quietly, turning around, sighing.

“Well,” she blew out a puff of air, giving me a kind smile, “this is interesting.”

I nodded, following her with my eyes as she began getting ready for bed, brushing her H/C hair, and wiping off her makeup for the day. I admired her beauty, staring at her with reverence. She was brilliant.

“I-I can sleep on the floor Y/N. I don’t mind,” I whispered as she slid an oversized t-shirt over her frame, stripping off her work attire.

I licked my lips, swallowing harshly before averting my eyes, reminding myself that now was not the time to get worked up. She had to be at the cafe in a few hours.

Juice purred as he curled into a bed next to her windowsill, eying us from the corner.

Y/N turned off her main light, flicking on a dim lamp that cascaded a soft orange aura across the room before she crawled into bed, opening the covers and patting next to her.

“You can sleep with me, it’s okay.”

I shifted on my feet nervously, tossing my hoodie over my head and placing it neatly over the chair of her vanity, along with my jeans.

Hours ago I was pinning her against the wall, devouring her body in complete confidence. Why was I suddenly so shy? Why did this feel so much more intimate than sex?

Her love is yours But only if you give your heart to her

I walked over to her, sliding myself between her covers as I lay as close to the edge as possible.

“Oh, I almost forgot,” She mumbled, jumping out of bed and leaving to the bathroom, returning shortly with a bottle of pills and a cup of water.

She opened the bottle, turned around and placed one on her tongue before taking a swig of water. I watched as she placed her pills on her desk, before hopping back into bed.

That is why we live like heathens Stealing from the trees of Eden Living in the arms of freedom And everything we touch is evil

She crawled underneath the covers, snuggling into the duvet as she lay on her side, facing me.

We remained silent for a few moments before she asked me a question in a small voice, “Is it ok if the light stays on?”

I preferred the lights off, but I wasn’t going to share my preference; I was already invading her space.

“I have trouble sleeping,” She whispered vulnerably.

“Of course,” I said, pulling the covers over my shoulders.

“Okay,” her eyes fluttered open and closed, fighting against sleep, “goodnight Noah.”

I watched as her lashes touched the tops of her cheeks, her eyebrows releasing tension from the day, lips parted gently as sleep took over.

My eyes danced across her features, completely captivated. Y/N breathed slowly, and my hand subconsciously reached over, tucking a strand of loose hair behind her ear as I endeared over her.

“you’re my saving grace,” I whispered as I stroked her hair, still completely baffled this was all happening.

I watched her for a moment longer before I turned over, facing the door and her desk. My eyes trailed over to the bottle that rested on her desk, the yellow plastic alluring. Zolpidem. 700 dollars right there.

Destruction. Crime. Greed.

That is why we live like heathens That is why we live like heathens That is why we live like heathens

Chapter four

#burning out fanfic #smut #bad omens #bad omens cult #joakim jolly karlsson #joakim karlsson #metal #noah sebastian x reader #Nick folio #nicholas ruffilo #nick ruffilo #Noah Sebastian #Noah Sebastian smut #bad omens smut #noah sebastian davis #noah sebastian fic

[horanghaeluvsinniehae]

PRE-DEBUT SKZ X 9TH GN!MEMBER PT.2 Pairing:stray kids x gn!member

Disclaimer: anxiety, bit of negative thoughts, mention of food(ramen and tteokbokki)(if i missed anything please tell me!)

previous/\next

You stared at the last message you got from Chan…you were so excited but very nervous at the same time to meet them all, meet your group.

You know that it’s going to be a bit harder to get used to the boys because they’re already bonded and know each other…but what eases your overthinking is that you’ll be debuting together and will share those memories with each other.

You put your phone down to go get changed out of your practice clothes. After you were in presentable clothes you washed your face. Looked at your phone and realised you had to get going. The last thing you wanted was for your first impression to be that you’re late… After picking up your backpack and ensuring you don't leave anything behind, you made your way to the elevator.

Stepping into the elevator you took a deep breath and pushed the button to take you down to the lobby. Standing in the lift you start overthinking this whole situation and whether it’ll go well or not. You’re so deep in these thoughts that you don’t realise that the lift stopped and other people got on too.

You bow and greet the group, but you don’t look up at them properly. They greet you too and push the same button as you already had pushed.

“Chan hyung, are you not nervous to meet y/n?” Asked one of the taller ones looking at a boy with dirty blonde hair and a soft smile.

You completely froze after you heard your name. Your brain started to figure out what you should do, but your mouth spoke faster than your brain could think of anything appropriate…

“Hi um, I'm y/n…are you Stray Kids? It’s so nice to meet you guys I'm so excited-“ After you realised what you were doing you stopped talking and looked down very embarrassed while mumbling sorry a couple thousand times.

“Oooh y/n! Gosh so nice to meet you!! And yeah we’re Stray Kids! Im Bang Chan, you were texting with me and I'm the leader, it’s so nice to meet you!” Said Chan excitedly while putting his hand out to shake your hand.

You shyly took his hand and bowed again while still very much embarrassed. Luckily for you, the elevator dinged again indicating that you arrived at your original meeting place. You got out and Chan led you all to the sofas in the lobby.

“Okay so kids this is y/n and they’ll be our new member from now on!” Chan said introducing you to the rest. “Y/nah can you say something about yourself please?” Chan looked at you and you nodded at him nervously.

“Um hi, I’m Choi y/n, 16 years old and I trained at Hybe for a year and a half but then got sent away and started as a trainee at Jype! I have two older brothers and they live in Daejeon with my parents. I’m so excited to be in a group with you guys and I hope you don’t mind me joining like this…” You said and looked at your feet anxiously.

“Of course, we don’t mind! By the way Y/n, do you speak any other languages or just Korean?” Chan asks and a small boy with blondish hair perks up at the mention of English.

“I speak English almost fluently and a bit of Japanese but I understand more than I speak though…” You said and the small boy from earlier looked back at Chan with an enthusiastic smile.

“That’s so awesome! Okay so let me introduce my members!” Chan said and started introducing everyone.

You learnt that Chan is from Australia, and so is Felix, the small boy who earlier was looking at Chan very happily while speaking of English. He’s still learning Korean and can only understand Chan properly, but now that you’re here he can talk to someone else too.

Then there’s Minho, Changbin, Hyunjin, Jisung, Felix, Seungmin and Jeonging who’s now the ex maknae because you’re a year younger. Everyone seems so kind and just a bunch of bubbles of energy. You memorised their names pretty quickly and after the small introduction, you walked to the dorms, which is approximately a fifteen-minute walk from the company building.

While you were walking there you tried to get used to the boys and how they behave. Even though you were exhausted from your earlier practice and were anxious to meet them, they were easy to get along with and one by one your worries slowly started to disappear.

You were just walking and observing your new members and how they banter with each other with an amused smile when someone tapped your shoulder.

“Hey, Y/n! I hope you will be able to feel at home in the dorms and with us too!” Said Felix and smiled at you brightly.

You smiled back at him and thanked him for being kind. Couple minutes went by and you arrived at the dorms. It wasn’t anything big, but just enough for the nine of you.

It has four decent sized bedrooms so that means two people per room. Had two bathrooms which is a bit rough as you heard from the boys but it is what it is. Also a big living room and an open kitchen. It looked cozy and you liked it a lot!!

After the dorm tour Minho went into the kitchen to prepare some ramen with tteokboki for lunch for everyone . Jisung went after him to help and the rest of you guys got comfortable on the couch.

“Y/n do you know what position they’re gonna put you as?” Asked Jeongin while looking at you.

“Um if I know right I’ll be lead dancer.” You told him.

“Woaah then get ready because Minho hyung will be strict with you! He’s our main dancer.” Said Felix and giggled next to Jeongin. You smiled too, getting excited at the thought of being a full member now and having the same schedules.

You feel so happy that they’re asking you questions and not pushing you away. They’re very kind and accepting and you already love that.

A/N: hi guys! I hope this satisfied your expectations!! Please tell me your thoughts on it!! Take care of yourselves and be safe please!!

#ot8 skz #ot8 x reader #skz #stray kids #skz jeongin #skz seungmin #skz han #skz changbin #skz felix #skz hyunjin #skz bang chan #skz lee know #skz fluff #skz imagines #skz x reader #stray kids fluff #stray kids x reader #stray kids imagines #straykids

[sgiandubh]

Hitting a nerve, again

Dear @outlanderfandomfollies,

You took an extraordinary amount of time to lecture me on your blog with regard to one of my comments about the (in)famous funeral pictures. This deserves a reply and I hope you will understand it is done in good faith, although I cannot guarantee you that my answer will be devoid of irony. I am who I am, even if my opinions clearly vex you: I am sorry, but there is little I can do to accommodate you in that respect.

Fair enough, then. I took a stroll on your two blogs yesterday and I have to say I am underwhelmed. The thousands of words, the hundreds of pages, all that Taj Mahal of wisdom so liberally, relentlessly bestowed upon us, ignoramuses, was not enough to shake my beliefs. And pardon me the approximation: trying to make sense of what you wrote left such a strange aftertaste, that I did not pay enough attention to such details. Stupid me.

I have to say I was just starting to enjoy your very interesting interpretation of Jungian archetypes as applied to JAMMF. It did also remind me of Richard Campbell's Hero With A Thousand Faces, to be completely honest. I wanted more of that: a non-biased and personal interpretation of a beloved literary character. So, I am asking you in all honesty: why do your approach and your tone change, from professional to patronizing, when you deal with this side of the fandom, including me?

You present yourself as an independent blogger within the OL fandom. That, in my humble opinion, is a bias and a lie. There can be no independence in the current context of cold war, with the "truthers"' side bucketing out insults on a daily basis, with no prompting and no provocation from the shippers. You probably know as well as I do how the spiel works, via multiple spy sock accounts, anonymous submissions often sent to oneself and yes, rivers of "stupid shippers, idiot shippers". You also know and yet keep complete silence about it, that sensitive information is always exchanged in DMs and private groups, primarily out of respect for the people concerned (and also because that is none of your business, Antis).

Your very peculiar orientation is also something that ethically nags me. Independent, yet aligned. I find this fascinating, truly: it reminds me of an Eastern European tyrant's game of promoting himself for years to the West as aligned with the Soviets, yet independent from them. True story.

In the side note at the end of your long (loooooong) intervention about a mere comment expressing an opinion, you write:

I am asking you and I would appreciate a serious, well-researched answer (a girl can dream): exactly which boundaries did I (and I really mean I, Sgiandubh, not "shippers": that is very cheap rhetoric and I expected better from you) cross by simply expressing an opinion that disagreed with your POV?

For comparison purposes, an example of a very recent, supremely suave comment on one of the major Anti players' blogs. We never read any well-articulated protestations from you on those, ever: it is as if they do not exist. Heh. Talking about bias, when it's all about hiding the Antis' garbage under a skillfully woven carpet of scientific jargon:

And since you love side notes and caveats and all the critical apparatus paraphernalia, let me be very clear: I blurred the blogger's name on purpose, and not by cowardice. I blurred it because it is perfectly irrelevant, in this context and at the same time, very representative of a certain dominating vibe, in your camp, about OL's male lead. Something I believe you, as an independent (let's not forget aligned) blogger, should have no trouble taking a strong stance about.

Oh, the stench of intolerance, from the same person who wrote this, in 2016, on her blog:

Yes, yes. I know you also wrote your opinions changed with time and adventures along this long-winding, twisted road. Yet, I cannot help but thinking that a walk down this particular memory lane could bring more serenity and more clarity to your fandom endeavors.

I have no wish to attack you and I am not the insulting type, unlike some of your fellows. But I also do not need a laissez-passer sealed, stamped and delivered by you (with which authority?), in order to continue my journey. I would be very happy to settle on a non-aggression 'we agree to disagree' , keep calm and carry on common ground. At the very worst, I will simply ignore you and would be very grateful if you did the same. I simply feel I owe you absolutely nothing, including my time and attention.

Cordially yours,

Sgian-dubh, stupid shipper

#fandom

[technicalknockout]

HEY! I FOUND OK KO CRUMBS!!

I was gonna make a post about it but I cba but still wanted to share it!

So I found Iggy Craig's (one of the storyboard artists for the show) portfolio website, can't really remember how, I go on weird tangents with Google searches sometimes, and it has loads of storyboards and design work of theirs on there. It's really cool early pre-production stuff really appeals to me.

There's a lot of this stuff for the Fionna and Cake episodes and Distant Lands, and OK KO! A lot of the storyboards to look through.

I've seen some animatics for episodes before but the boards here are the much earlier versions of the episodes, and some bits are different and it's really interesting and cool. Especially since I've got lines of the episodes memorised so it's cool to spot the differences.

I haven't looked at everything yet, I don't have the time haha but I looked at the boards for Let's Fight To The End, and there's quite a big difference!

The storyboards detail a longer scene of K.O. being stuck in the subconscious at the start of the episode. I took a couple screenshots.

I really like it. I'm guessing the main reason it was cut was for time. How it was handled in the episode was just a quick version of this.

Also here's a link to the boards Tumblr says the link isn't "complete" so sorry if it doesn't work or doesn't show up just search up Iggy Craig and find their page.

There's also this site called Slideshare.Net which I think all of these boards are being uploaded from, and on that site there's also boards from Ryann Shannon and Danny Ducker. There's the boards from LFTTE where TKO disempowers everyone and they disintegrate instead of lay on the ground. (As well as other episode stuff too)

I don't know how interesting all this really is to people and if it isn't I apologize haha. I just have a fascination with storyboards and animatics for cartoons and paired with OK KO I love it even more.

OH MY GOD THANK YOUUUUU I love these kinds of stuff so much you have no idea how hard im screaming rn.. new ok ko boards auhgjfkgnfjfksnd

Theres something so appealing about storyboards.. I like animated stuff but storyboards!! They're a whole thing!! It's like im looking at the building blocks of an episode!!! Cut storyboards feel like another universe's version of it where different writing decisions were made (imagining lftte as a 40 minute special rn) and spotting lines or scenes that didn't make it into the final product is really interesting. Plus looking at storyboards makes me feel like im a little gremlin digging thru someone's treasure pile and indeed i do giggle annoyingly when i find them

Anyways thanks again for sending me these !!!! youve extended my lifespan by approximately a thousand years

+ no joke i have literally been looking EVERYWHERE for the tko actually murders everyone boards since they mentioned it in the twitter ama. I am eternally in your debt

#time to freak out in the tags #STORYBOARDS!!2!2!! AUJSBDKDNNFKSK #the lines are. the lines are too crunchy. theyre too perfect for this world #someone get me my chair i need to faint #wow i was NOT expecting this right after school #see this is what life is for everyone #new ok ko boards!!! #with tko in it !!!!!!! #<<<<<<<<< #gdnnfndkdknfkksndkdk #best day of 2023 period #oh my god i need to check that website right now #im not sleeping tonight #asks #save tag #storyboard ko is so SMOL AAAAAAAHHGHBHBJJM

[exitwound]

hi I saw your tags on the pain pill and I just wanted to drop in and say that I once worked in an arachnid lab with over a thousand tarantulas in it annd the Scolopendra subspinipes is the only thing I was ever scared of. Including the Orange Bitey Things and the occasional black widow and that one adult tarantula that got loose while no one was there and we had to track her down. I think I had a point when I started typing but I've lost it. Happy Tuesday?

you are so right to be scared they’re terrifying my uncle had to saw it in half with a knife to get it to die. the way i was bit is i slept on a mattress on the floor of a clean and well-swept shed that had been infested with them two days prior but everyone thought they had all been killed by the pest guy. i dreamed i was putting my finger into a very spiky flower and then the flower bit me and crawled under my shirt and bit me on my side again and slithered away and i spent the entire night twitching and thinking my hand was going to fall off it it took like four days for it to stop hurting completely but i was obsessed with it i felt truly honored also terrified i couldn’t walk in the grass around the shed barefoot after that i kept getting an adrenaline rush from just empty leaves brushing against me it was incredible i did not experience any necrosis i was very lucky and Im sorry that it died . that was over a year ago and it was such a beautiful experience. a lot of other kinds and sources of pain hurt much less, but we suffer in it more i think, its less about the intensity nerve sensation and more how it is related to us in a context of what it means to be injured or to feel incapacitated or broken in that way. the centipede didn’t really attack my sense of self in my experience. i also knew exactly how i was bit, what bit me, approximately how long it would hurt, and that i would probably be fine and experience complete recovery in the next few days and i did. but then again it’s been a year maybe i forgot how it was i had a very strong narrative of being enchanted by them at the same time. anyway i don’t know what my point was either💌 i think im more scared of spiders! 🕷️happy tuesday

[spectralstitions]

THERE'S A MAP FINALLY LOL (EXPLODES)

Hey, it's Cas! In my last post about mapmaking, I wrote that the next time I posted about it, I hoped it'd be because my map was finished. Well, guess what? I FINISHED IT! It only took me, like... uh... half a year to get around to it. Well, here it is! Two versions: one plain, one labeled.

It's such a relief to have this finished. Finally, after a thousand years of just thinking about it, I have something resembling a visual resource! Yay! That said, it's not perfect, and definitely more of an approximation than anything. There are touch-ups to be made, many touch-ups, but I might just save that for an end-of-year progress check. For now, it's good enough!

The lack of labels has nothing to do with minimalism and everything to do with the fact that I really hate naming things. V-shaped icons point to major settlements. Dot icons mark settlements that are smaller, but subject to show up often for whatever reason. Those ones in particular I'm sure will get edited or shifted around over time.

Now, to meticulously explore each and every region!

I'll work from top to bottom!

Surprise, I'm starting with the name! I find myself drawn to names that sound simple but have lots of interesting connotations. In this case, I'd been searching for a name that captured the feeling of a far off, enigmatic place, something vast and always just beyond reach. Then, while I was searching, and in a manner not unlike that one Overwatch meme, the word "Hinterlands" played in the Lord Huron song I was listening to and I had my HOLY SHIT moment. There's no way a name this whimsical hasn't already been snagged by some cartoon or something, but I can live with that.

As an aside, if I were to pick just one piece of media that encapsulated what I'm going for with this project, it'd be the album Strange Trails by Lord Huron. Of all my many inspirations, it's the one that's had the most profound impact. So the name also works as a homage!

Starting off spooky with our first region, the Old Waythrough. It's a place most people don't like to talk or even think about, but it's always there, looming just under the surface. It has remarkably little presence even in local folklore, and what little there is has been cut into pieces and scattered about through generations of oral storytelling. That said, there are a couple surviving records of Parthans attempting flyovers, eager to prove their courage. None of them get very far, but interestingly, even across the centuries, their recounts have all been similar, describing endless, desolate lands that are empty save for random objects and footprints in the snow.

One famous story, and the tale behind the region's common name, recounts the miraculous journey of the first partha who made contact with the mainland using the Waythrough as a guide. If true, this partha is the only known creature to have crossed the Waythrough in its entirety—and in doing so, gave the fasa who saw them quite a scare!

Our next region is Parthesa, or the parthan homelands! Yeah, get ready for some confusing naming conventions. I'll try to break it down:

The species itself, singular and plural, is known as "partha". Its descriptive form is "parthan".

Partha born on Parthesa, as well as any outsider accepted into their flocks, are known as "Parthans" with a capital P.

All partha born on Parthesa are also called skyborn, while their mainland cousins are called wildborn.

It's a bit much, but I promise, so are they. Parthesa itself is frequently described as a paradise, mostly for the fact that there seems to be a strange lack of spirit activity on the islands themselves. Is that the full story, though? Who knows — Parthans aren't exactly scrambling to brag about how UNbetter-than-everyone-else they and their homeland are. On that note, did Parthans name themselves after their homeland, or did they name their homelands after themselves? Mysteries upon mysteries...

Famously, the islands are beautiful — flower fields, waterfalls, seaside cliffs, mountains and valleys to dip and dive through, and that wonderful ocean breeze! Plus, as long as you've got parthan feather insulation and love storms, the weather's great! Infamously, getting to Parthesa is incredibly dangerous without a Parthan guide, something that's hard to come by. Without one, travelers don't have a great track record of being seen again.

On the opposite side of the Waythrough, we've got the fasan homelands! This dashing, idyllic little landscape is defined by mountains, rivers, lakes, colorful flower fields, and forests of towering boreal trees. Also, ignore that green mountain I forgot to recolor.

Fasa like to incorporate waterways into their architecture in interesting ways, building settlements that trace the length of rivers. Despite their homeland's cutesy appearance, their deep forests harbor all sorts of dangers. Uniquely, this danger doesn't just concern spirits, but entire swathes of dangerous, predatory animals. Still, as long as you take the proper safety precautions, it's a lovely place to live. Their main city can be found by following the paths of the rivers into the mountains. Their harbor town is much newer but has quickly become prosperous!

Okay, you see this gigantic piece of land with almost zero markers in it? This one's my sandbox. Why does nobody seem to want to live here? Well, they tried. They really tried, judging by all the bizarre artifacts poking out of the ground everywhere. The place is a mass graveyard, with evidence of ancient raswa, fasa, and who knows what else engaged in constant territory spats going back centuries. However, these battles seemed to have stopped very suddenly. It's assumed that the appearance of spirits was the last straw that pushed people back into their homelands, finally convincing them the place was just not worth it, something that countless deaths couldn't accomplish. But it's been thousands of years, and people are making tentative attempts to settle again, this time in unity—and hey, so far so good! The few settlements that exist here are characterized by the diversity of their people.

If you follow the trails, you're sure to come across fellow travelers, traders, and the like, but the vast majority of the land is void of people. You could walk for weeks or longer and not come across a single soul! There's a lot to discover, but it's a bit lonely...

Down south, you'll find the Underbelly! The Underbelly is the common name given to this region of wetland and swamp. It's one of the deadliest—and in many people's opinions, the grossest—places in the Hinterlands. Miraculously, there are a hardy people who've managed to make a living in the deep swamp, their treehouse cities literal lights in the darkness. They trade with and have close relations to raswa!

Nearly done! Now we've come to the raswan homelands. Not to be an edgelord, but this region is one defined by utter darkness. Well, okay, it's supposed to be a little edgy, but that part of it comes second. On the left half sleeps an incredibly dense roofed forest, such that light rarely grazes the forest floor. Mushrooms spawn like wildfire, and only those with the grace of raswa are going to have much luck navigating it. On the other side of the mountains lies the raswan desert, a place where sandblood raswans lead nomadic lifestyles. It's also a place many go to get in touch with their spirituality. Sandblood raswa wander the depths of the desert, traveling by night, when sand in the air lights up like stars. With their unique skin colors and plain dark clothes, raswa disguise themselves as part of the night sky to avoid deadly desert spirits. The spirits are a pain in the forests, too—raswa have devised safe pathways for travelers, but all they can really do is hand you a charm and beg you not to stray. Due to the regions' conditions, the settlements here remain mostly raswa, save for their newer harbor town.

We're onto the last area! This island is in a weird spot, and it's kind of just weird in general, so I saved it for last. It's even weird in the formatting of this blog post! What is wrong with you, fae homelands? This island was created very recently by one of the gods, although they are all credited for it. "Homelands" is a strange word for fae to use, though, because most fae do not come from this land at all. In fact, there are barely any trees here! In any case, This island is what connects all people, encouraging unity in times of despair. From edge to edge, the place is a gigantic market space, full to bursting with different kinds of people, vivid colors, and overwhelming sounds and smells.

And that's that! I'll be real, I had way more fun just writing all that than I did even making the map, so I hope that even 1 person skimmed it and got something out of it. But if not, this'll be a good resource for me, too, so, I guess it's win-win.

I'm not really sure what's next for me! I kinda want to work on more visual development for the fauna, spirits, and gods, but the other, realer, and more boring side of me thinks I should probably figure out the extremely basic information like fasan & raswan government styles first. Cause, you know, the fundamental structure of their society is kind of important...

I've made progress in other areas as well, so I may make a separate post for that! But for now I need a short break. Hope you enjoyed. Yay!

#worldbuilding #fantasy #fantasy map #fantasy worldbuilding #my ocs #dear drifter #lore

[knightofsuperior]

Wherever You Soar Away, Remember That It's Always a Blessing to Be Here with You

Fandom: Fire Emblem Three Houses, Mobile Suit Gundam: The Witch from Mercury

Summary:

Suletta Mercury is shattered. Her dreams are but a folly, her life's philosophy turned out less than ideal, and her love has been torn to shreds before her eyes. It's a blessing, then, that she's just where she needs to be to rebuild herself. Or: After episode 12, Suletta Mercury becomes a Deer, Fodlan discovers it has neighbors beyond the skies, and Miorine tries to rectify a mistake.

Read the fic here, and check out an excerpt/my thoughts below!

Excerpt:

Byleth gasped in shock as a wave of heat rushed over her; it was nowhere near as searing as the earlier one, but it was still far from pleasant. Forcing herself up to her feet, she took in the sight before her. Encompassing the whole of the opposite end of the path (or, rather, crater) was a massive, smoking figure. Its body was made of pure steel, shaded with varying hues, but not left unharmed by its approach. Scorch marks and melted iron dripped from various spots on its arms, though its chest area appeared relatively unscathed. The creature’s face (or what she approximated as its face) had the most damage, with cracked glass and torn metallics throughout. What in the world is this? I wish I knew… Byleth intended to return to the others, to call upon the Church to investigate, as further engaging with this… thing was far past what she had been ordered to do. However, this was before the creature turned its head to look directly at her. It’s alive?! Sothis screeched, horror in her every breath, How is something like that sentient, let alone alive after falling from the sky in flames?! …sU…Le…tTa… If Byleth had much of a heart, it likely would have stopped. “You… can talk?” Sa…ve… Su…lE…ttA… The creature’s chest opened, steam billowing from its sides.  It held within its casing a girl with bright red hair.

Author's Note: Somehow, out of all the things I've written on AO3 over the years, this is my most-viewed story with almost ten thousand hits and over 300 kudos. I'm sincerely blown away by that, because I just wanted to write what I thought would be a fun AU that'd last a few chapters at best. I love writing these characters, and exploring new facets of their personalities as they interact with someone so far out of their norm (and vice versa for poor Suletta), and it's given me a great challenge in writing drama and intrigue.

This specific story is barreling toward its climax, but I've got plans for what's beyond--so whether you're an old reader or a new one, I sincerely hope you enjoy it!

#mobile suit gundam #g witch #suletta mercury #miorine rembran #byleth eisner #byleth fire emblem #fire emblem three houses #ao3 #fanfic #ao3 fanfic #fan fiction #witch from mercury spoilers #g witch spoilers #I promise I don't hate Miorine but I have plans and schemes and plots

[ezrisdax-archive]

Beauty and the Borg – A B7 Shipper’s Manifesto

So. We’ve come here in my life where I just need to talk about ships I love and everyone has to see this. Only not but whatever. I’m gonna try to break this down old school in how I remember shippers manifestos in livejournal days, complete with images. And thus to begin:

What is Star Trek: Voyager?

Unless you live under a rock you’ve probably just heard of Star Trek, maybe not watched it but heard of it. Starting in 1966 the Original Series was released, ran for three years, was canceled due to an infamous error in Neilson ratings and established the franchise. There was an animated series people often forget about, six movies for the Original series, and then in 1987 they brought it back as a live action show called Star Trek: The Next Generation. It did so well and engrained itself in the conscious of many people that they often refer to it as the best Trek but believe me that’s a debate on it’s own. And thus had it’s own spin off, Deep Space Nine in 1993. While not as popular as TNG it’s grouped into what people call the 90s Trek. With the last one being the last spin off in 1995: Star Trek: Voyager.

Where DS9 introduced the first black captain (though it took three years for him to get that promotion, boo), VOY introduced the first female captain lead of a Star Trek series. The premise of the show was that on a hunt for some resistance fighters both ships are pulled through the Alpha Quadrant to the Delta Quadrant. Approximately seventy-thousand light years from home. Due to the choice made by the captain, Kathryn Janeway, they are then stranded there and the crews of the ships band together on Voyager to make their way back to the Alpha Quadrant and get home.

That’s an extreme simplification but basically Lost in Space for Star Trek.

And that leads us to the characters of this essay:

B’Elanna Torres - The Engineer Who Built This Society

A half-human, half-klingon Maquis born to John Torres (human) and Miral (Klingon). She and her mother were the only Klingons on the colony where they lived and as such B’Elanna was teased and made fun of at school. Her father eventually couldn’t take being married to a Klingon and left her and her mother, an incident which left B’Elanna worrying was her fault being half Klingon.. She was then raised on the Klingon homeworld until she left to join Starfleet Academy…

And quit it.

Basically she couldn’t find herself fitting in yet again and left to once again find her place which brought her to the Maquis.

The Maquis were a group of resistance fighters, depending who you ask of course, that fought for the freedom of species, mostly Bajor, from Cardassian rule. They were considered to be a threat by the Federation and hunted down by both Cardassians and the Federation. B’Elanna was only in the group roughly for a year before the incident that stranded them in the Delta Quadrant occurred. She did think of that group as her family though and felt both indebted to them and loved them.

While on Voyager she became Chief Engineer and was damn fucking good at it but let’s get into the heart of her character here. B’Elanna suffers from depression over the course of the series and self doubt when it comes to herself while not at the job. She pushes people away while simultaneously hoping they’ll stay anyway.

She pushes herself to her limits, trying to see if she’s enough and never really finding that answer. She also struggles with a connection to both her parents and her cultures; coming more to terms with the Klingon culture as time goes on and also striking up conversation with her father again. She’s also a big romantic who reads romance novels.

Tragically that kicks off her romance with Tom Paris and they eventually get married and have a kid together and even then B’Elanna worries for her child who will still look Klingon. She doesn’t want her kid to have to go through what she did and suffer for it. In the end she chooses to accept her child will look like her as a Klingon but it’s clear the thought will linger on for her regardless.

She’s blunt and sarcastic and brash, takes no shit, and loves her friends very very deeply.

 Seven of Nine - What I Want is to be Useful

Seven of Nine didn’t come in until season 4 of Voyager. Basically here because of sexism and the writers wanting that sweet sweet sex appeal. She was a human, once called Annika Hansen born to Magnus and Erin Hansen. Her parents were scientists who were studying the Borg and took their daughter along with them for…reasons. Look it wasn’t very smart. 

Lo and behold the Borg caught on to the fact they were being watched and assimilated Seven and her family. At the time she was only six and thus spent most of her life in a borg cube, as such she has a…unique take on cultures.

She ended up on Voyager because Voyager made a deal with the Borg to get through their area of space. Then Janeway cut her connection to the Borg and Seven was left floundering and suddenly alone. The Borg are a hive mind type species and she’d had that for over twenty years of her life. The shock left her reeling though she’d hardly admit it.

Seven is a complicated character in a lot of aspects, the series generally tries to explore her gaining her independence and learning about herself and where she fits in. It’s not perfect and often clumsily written, especially when it comes to the Doctor teaching her. They do push a lot of gender ideas as well which haven’t aged well. And leave her in those terrible catsuits. She also, due to her stubbornness, butts heads with a lot of the characters as she’s trying to figure this out.

(Seven also shows up later in the Picard series but I am only talking about her as she pertains to Voyager in this essay.) 

Unlike B’Elanna she’s not really a romantic though the show does give her romance options including setting her up with Chakotay right at the end for…also reasons. And where B’Elanna only takes the mother position towards the end of the show Seven actually has a character who is like her son, another ex-Borg named Icheb introduced in season 6. As well as looking after Naomi Wildman (first baby on Voyager, we all love her) who she admits is family.

For all the imperfect writing they have about her I’ll give them that.

Seven is logical and cold, sure in her abilities and has a drive for perfection.

A Collective of Two - B7

To say these two don’t get along at first is an understatement. B’Elanna is mistrusting of Seven and Seven looks down on B’Elanna. They both see each other as stubborn and rude and want the other out of the way while they work (See Scientific Measure in which they argue in a Jefferies Tube and Message in a Bottle where B’Elanna does a full call out on Seven). At one point (Day of Honor) B’Elanna even asks Seven if she regrets everything she did as Borg, assimilating other cultures, and Seven says no. Granted if she asked that again to season seven Seven (har har) the answer would be far more complicated. 

Seven comes to value her independence and individuality across the series. She comes to see the Voyager crew as her collective. In one episode (called One, I’m on a roll here, let me have this.) Seven is left alone while the rest of the crew is in stasis. The EMH is around but even he gets disrupted and Seven is by herself on the ship with only her hallucinations and herself to talk to. It’s the end of the episode that stands out here.

In the beginning of the episode she approaches B’Elanna and Harry and well, annoys them. She doesn’t see an issue with this and is not here for friendship. The end of the episode she approaches them again, and I guess Tom is there too, whatever, and asks to sit with them. When they say yes she sits down next to B’Elanna and admits she felt the need for companionship. It’s a huge step with Seven seeking others out. 

On the other side is B’Elanna the episode right before that, Demon. She isn’t allowed to go down to a planet to look for her friends because Chakotay is worried she isn’t a ‘cool head’ that’s needed for this assignment. After a bit of a fight it’s then that B’Elanna requests Seven go then in her place, after all “Nobody’s head is cooler than hers”. An insult and a compliment in one, B’Elanna and Seven’s relationship in a nutshell. But the point here is that B’Elanna has come to trust Seven. Towards the end of season four there’s a measure of respect between them and acknowledgement of each other’s skills.

(Also see Message in a Bottle, when B’Elanna first approves of a plan Seven sets forth. And waits till no one is in the room to see her do it.)

Which brings us to the end of season four. Voyager has potentially found a way home (spoiler alert: there’s three more seasons. They have not.) and at one point B’Elanna and Seven are working together on the other ship which prompts a conversation about Earth. Seven during the conversation points out that B’Elanna seems eager to return, which B’Elanna denies. Then as Seven says it “You were a member of the Maquis. Starfleet Command will no doubt hold you responsible for a multitude of crimes. You will find nothing on Earth but adversity.” And we get the following scene:

Of course then B’Elanna plays it off as a joke later but the line still stands out to me. It truly does show how the two of them view themselves. B’Elanna isn’t accepted because she’s half-Klingon or because she’s a Maquis. Seven isn’t accepted because she’s ex-Borg or, in the words of B’Elanna, she’s rude. While they’ve carved out an area of acceptance on Voyager that doesn’t mean it extends beyond that. 

Earth is an unknown for the both of them at this time. They’re more alike and are starting to see that even if they won’t admit it. Yet.

Of course, they’re also still not about to admit it in season five.

Season five has a…bad episode in it called Infinite Regress that regrettably I have to talk about. In it Seven is taking on other personalities from people who she assimilated over the years. At one point she takes on a male Klingon and, well. Tries to mate with B’Elanna which includes biting her on her cheek. The only saving factor of that episode is that it starts the Seven and Naomi friendship and also this line:

That’s it.

Honestly season five isn’t the best for B7 stuff, there’s a few scenes like in Extreme Risk when B’Elanna is going through some major depression and Seven comes to her to discuss a project or even in the Course: Oblivion episode though sadly that’s not actually them but clone selves. And I say that with an absolute straight face even as a snicker about it. Turns out you can forget you’re a clone but can’t forget you’ve got chemistry with each other.

Sure girl. Tell her that after she just got married, just say you wanna open her relationship to include you already. 

There is however one fun and stand out scene towards the end of season five, see it turns out Seven has been stalking B’Elanna (and Tom) to study mating rituals. Honestly, worst choice there, Seven. Needless to say, B’Elanna notices and doesn’t take this “study” well.

It’s nice to see not all the antagonism is gone. But they still have time to reach an understanding! Sorta. Also that episode is Someone to Watch Over Me. Don’t watch it, that’s the only good scene.

I gotta add one scene however from Relativity even if B’Elanna isn’t in the scene herself. Tom approaches Seven to team up for a ping pong match and of course Seven isn’t interested. Until B’Elanna is brought up.

Like Seven. Babe just say you wanna impress B’Elanna.

And thus we go to season six.

Okay I’ll be honest, this season doesn’t have a lot for them either. Season four and seven are standouts in their interactions imo. And since this is my essay it’s all my opinion. I blame the het ships they were both forced in. 

But in Survival Instinct they do get a nice scene together. In the episode Seven is suffering having come into contact with her old unimatrix and remembering something she did. She can’t fully piece it all together and it’s shaken her up. At one point B’Elanna tries to comfort her while they’re going over data and Seven snaps back that she has no feelings about the past. And then clearly regrets it, something season four Seven absolutely wouldn’t care about.

It’s a show of how far they’ve both come. B’Elanna offering comfort to Seven and Seven acknowledging that her words hurt B’Elanna. It’s a small subtle scene that makes me really happy.

There’s a few other scenes here and there too, in The Voyager Conspiracy Seven once comms B’Elanna right as she wakes up and I just find that funny. Like sure, don’t wait till you’re on shift. A moment in Tsunkatse where B’Elanna jokes about Borgs and fun to Seven. And then in Fury when Kes gets to engineering there’s a blink and you’ll miss it scene where B’Elanna reaches back to pass Seven a phaser and they’re both just very in sync in the scene. And then B’Elanna dies and Seven sees it :( at least it’s all undone in the end. She’s fine. Death in Star Trek: Voyager is a punch card honestly; punch it ten times and get a free replacement from another reality. (Sorry Harry)

That ties up that season in a tragically low point for them but that’s okay because it’s season seven.

Season seven was the last one Voyager had. B’Elanna marries Tom and gets pregnant, Seven gets into a bit of a rushed relationship with Chakotay right at the end. Voyager finally gets home but these two are gay between them and the joke’s on the Voyager writers. Unlike them I can pretend Tom/B’Elanna never happened at all.

Right at the start is the episode Imperfection where a Borg implant Seven has is failing and she must face the fact she might die. In response she chooses to work, as she says “What I want is to be useful.” And for that she chooses not to go to her usual post in Astrometrics but to hide out in Engineering. So I could infer that Engineering, and thus B’Elanna who is in charge of it, is a safe space for her. That’s made even more clear when B’Elanna finds her and they have a talk about life and legacy.

It’s an incredibly soft and meaningful scene, where B’Elanna expresses that Seven has made an impact on everyone (herself quietly included). It’s interrupted by the Doctor finding them but that leads to B’Elanna coming to Seven’s defense and saying she can stay in Engineering. B’Elanna will keep an eye on her.

Unlike at the end of season four where B’Elanna lumps them together as outcasts and then jokes about it, this time she is completely serious. She has Seven’s back, they are “[the] difficult patients” who are in this together after all. Sadly that’s the last they interact this episode however brief it was it really goes to show how they’ve come together as a unit and a friendship. 

There’s a few more scattered moments in season seven episodes, in Drive Seven is the one who convinces B’Elanna to accept Tom’s hobbies. Like she needs to. Look I’m not bitter (lies). In Lineage when B’Elanna finds out she’s pregnant and stumbles Seven is the one to reach out to steady her and deliver that news to her. It’s almost funny that Icheb is also there and once had a crush on B’Elanna, like wrong ex-Borg Voyager writers.

This does lead us to Human Error though, which has quite a few more moments with them but also sadly the last time they really interact. 

In the episode Seven has been taking advantage of the holodeck to imagine different moments, including herself without Borg implants. One of the moments is B’Elanna’s baby shower though they don’t interact there. Instead Seven misses the real baby shower and awkwardly arrives at engineering with a belated gift for B’Elanna.

It’s cute, Seven’s really trying to connect here. And then keeps trying to connect.

Girl…I don’t have time (okay I do) to explain how gay this is. Seven could have chosen anyone on the ship and choses to try to connect with B’Elanna here. Including noting her appearance and asking about it. Of course the funniest thing is B’Elanna’s side eye after the fact.

Of course the scene is meant to be humorous, look how Seven once again struggles to connect to people but I chose to take it at face value here. Every other time it’s been B’Elanna reaching out to connect with Seven and this time it’s Seven reaching out to connect with her. They’re both trying in their own weird way. 

The episode ends without further interaction but there is one moment at the end:

Like the Tom moment above I just think it’s funny that people are out here like ‘no Seven you should come. B’Elanna is there :)’ 

And that’s it. That’s the B7 in canon moments broken down. So let’s talk more about them because I can’t shut up.

Okay so like…why? 

For the past oh…seven years I’ve been talking about B7 on my blog probably too much. I just think they’re neat! But now comes the time to explain that and I’m not the best at words but I’ll try.

For me it’s about the mirror they are to each other. Both are characters struggling with identity and where they fit in in a world that doesn’t want to fit them in. They’re extremely capable and smart but flawed. Whether the show writers realized it or not they made these two characters so similar and set up exploration of that and then just…never delivered.

I want the exploration there, I want to dive into what it means to see someone as a reflection of yourself but then acknowledge the good parts they have like when B’Elanna encourages Seven about her legacy and what an impact she has. Does she know that she has that same legacy? Does she even know she has those same doubts?

For two characters who are vastly different in personality there’s just so much they share and can share. They’re both disillusioned with Starfleet and people and yet trying. They’re put into boxes by society and just can’t fit. They’re done bad by the writers in pretty fucking horrible effect. 

There’s a trilogy of books called Voyager String Theory, really only the first two are important in the context of B7 though. In the first book they crash land on a planet and at one point Seven has to give B’Elanna some borg nanoprobes to help her heal.

“We would be the collective- a collective of two.” Seven tells her. That alone struck me as how the two of them could be. Outcasts together. Difficult Patients. A Collective of Two. 

(Also that book has a lot more gay points in it, please read it:

Like, c’mon.)

It shows the potential of them and while Picard really killed, hm, a lot of things, I always wanted to imagine a future where they got back to Earth and were that Collective. Dealing with this new area together. Oh sure they’d get on each other’s nerves, part of the fun for me is that I don’t think they’d ever really lose that antagonism, but after everything they’ve been through you can see how they’ve come to respect and count on each other. 

TL;DR…90s trek writers accidentally made it gay again.

Supplemental

I’ll be honest, I have a tendency not to read fics of pairing I myself write because I’m terrified I might subconsciously take something from another writer without even realizing it in that same area of fanfic. So instead I’ll rely on two others fic rec lists:

https://trillscienceofficer.tumblr.com/post/706359122066636800/trillscienceofficers-belannaseven-fic-rec-list

https://punkbxt.tumblr.com/post/622585834575626240/b7-fics-that-i-read-over-and-over-again-without

I am in fact on there twice (favourites and you’ve got my number are mine) sooo feel free to ignore those if you’ve had enough of my writing at this point.

For other things I’d suggest punkbxt on tumblr for their amazing b7 art and comics. Again please read Voyager: String Theory at least the first book. It is gay. 

There are also far far better people at putting things into words then me on good old hellsite dot com so honestly just go through the b7 tag. I wouldn’t recommend the character tags themselves though. Trust me.

If you made it this far then thank you for reading and I hope I could nudge you a little bit in the B7 direction (and thanks to @trillscienceofficer​ for all the help on this). Live fast and prosper~

#b'elanna torres #seven of nine #b7 #beej talks star trek #like a whole fucking lot #trek femslash #I'm not even joking I stayed up till 2am working on this

[batrachised]

Adventures in Maud's Recipes

Swiss Potato Soup

The Recipe

After starting off strong with something sweet, I decided to steer this venture to something savory! I live in a corner of the world where the 100 degree days are just coming to an end (an 80 degree day here is thought as "having a chill in the air") and so I landed on soup, which to me is the perfect fall recipe as the weather turns. And hoo boy, soup did I get. Maud's Swiss potato soup has (you guessed it) potatoes, a turnip (I have literally never cooked with a turnip and so was bravely venturing into unknown lands), onions, milk, flour, butter, salt and pepper! Basically, a smooth creamy soup that you would likely find topped with cheese and bacon bits at a restaurant. There were some vague(ish) ingredients I had to stumble through as an amateur cook (computer: what is considered a medium potato?), but by far the most difficult part was the potatoes and the number of pots/things required. I had a saucepan for milk; I had a saucepan for vegetables and water; I had a saucepan for MORE water; I had a sieve for straining; I had a blender for blending; and all of the ingredients had to be hopped from one pot to the next in a feverish switch. I paled at the prospect of fitting what seemed to be gallons of hot soup in my poor cheap plastic blender, but nothing exploded (or worse, melted), although I did waste some brain cells coaxing my blender as if it were a jittery animal.

The Results

I should have guessed because in my experience this happens with all soups, but I'll be eating potato soup for approximately the next 50 years. This made a reasonable-yet-somehow-still-ENORMOUS-for-one-person amount of soup. Behold, a very ugly photo of the soup that looks somewhat like a gigantic milk tea:

The Reviews

It tasted good and creamy! At first it was frightening because I took a sip and it tasted exactly like a spoonful of milk that had a vague potato flavor, almost like la croix potato soup, but then it thickened (whew! much like Barney's character arc). It definitely is the perfect fall recipe and I think it could go with virtually anything, much like potatoes themselves. Clifford Roommate was unavailable for comment on this one unfortunately, so ya'll will have to take my word for it.

Would I make it again? Thousand yard stare- the amount of time this took...the potato peeling...the turnip preparing...the chopping...the boiling...the sieving...the blending...drums, drums, in the deep...they are coming...okay, no I wouldn't. Too time consuming. I could see myself doing it once a year, but unless you really love cooking, this recipe does take a few hours and you have to be THERE the entire time hovering and stirring things feverishly (however, if you were a more experienced cook it probably would go more smoothly). How would I rate it? Well, if a zero is one of Davy's never-ending rambling stories, and a ten is Miss Cornelia's single-sentence-that-contains-worlds on marrying fascinating and wicked men, I'd give this one of Emily's evenings with Andrew.

#batrachised bakes #aunt maud's recipe book #(it comes to an end - eventually)

[mccnstruck]

characters - kazuha x gn!reader

warnings - none

a/n - this is my first time writing after two years, so please ignore if this is rusty! i didn’t proofread this because i was actually happy that i got something DONE so like yea, but otherwise enjoy!

streamer!kazuha when both of you are first introduced to each other during a multiplayer game. while the others were trying to find a solution to winning, you and kazuha both took your time with getting to know each other. you ignored the chat as they screamed a new ship name between both of you, and you certainly didn’t see kazuha’s stream to notice his awestruck eyes.

streamer!kazuha who first dm’ed you on instagram, and you both instantly hit it off. soon, both of you were cracking inside jokes between games, sharing new content ideas, and talking about kazuha's love for poetry. you didn’t know the way you both allowed the other’s notifications even when do not disturb was turned on, and how both of your faces lit up at the sight of a instagram dm.

streamer!kazuha who got excited when you suggested a collab stream. both of you would casually play some games on roblox, and chill with both of your streams. casual was the last thing in mind as both of you were screaming and laughing when you brutally obliterated some (approximately) 12 year old on some random superpower tycoon. at one point, you couldn’t help but laugh so hard you went silent, letting a few tears slip by. ever since then, your chat suddenly started squealing when kazuha came on stream. but what you never found out was how kazuha opened your stream when you were laughing and softly smiled, deciding that angering 12 year olds was more enjoyable with you.

streamer!kazuha who first came up with a irl vlog to explore your city. you quickly agreed, and soon your chats were filled with different hotels you could stay at, foods to try, places to visit etc. when the day finally arrived, you stood in the airport, shifting your weight from left to right in excitement and in nervousness. it’s been a few months, but this is the first time you’ve met him in person. uneasiness started to settle in your mind. do i look alright? i have all my things, right? what if he feels uncomfortable in this city?..

would he even like me? i’ve been hiding under a online personality this whole time. and what if-

you felt two taps on your shoulder and turn around to see the only and only kazuha smiling at you.

"i was wondering where were you for so long."

he giggled and your mind immediately got rid of all the intrusive thoughts before. so far he looked like he's been enjoying himself, even though he got out of a 6 hour flight. when he drags you trying to find the exit, you realize you didn't have to worry about being flawless in front of him, and you let out the first sigh of relief in a long time.

streamer!kazuha who ate the cotton candy in joy as you responded to donations and questions. it was a windy day in the city, but you or kazuha didn't mind, in fact enjoying the strong breeze. after running around and trying new places, it was a nice place to relax-

"when are you and kazuha going to confess??? literally everyone sees the heart eyes you make at each other except for YOU TWO??"

ah, it wasnt as peaceful as you thought.

the question made way for another episode of chat freaking out again, and both you and kazuha's faces to go red. you look at each other and back to the camera, too shocked and embarrassed on what to say.

"well um, that was sudden. uh,,,"

you look over back to kazuha, and judging on his eyes you knew he was about to do something mischevious. what you didnt expect...

was a confession.

"maybe i might confess today after stream. who knows?"

you turn around in shock and see kazuha grinning at you.

"..what?"

he looks back at you and silently whispers," after stream," before walking away, leaving you in shock in front of thousands of people.

streamer!kazuha who patiently waits for you on his hotel bed as you read the final donations and wave goodbye to the stream. when you made sure the stream was over, you look over to see him already looking at you.

"kazuha..."

"i think you want me to explain what i said at the cotton candy store, did you?"

you hesitantly nodded, sitting on the other side of the bed. kazuha sighed before he spoke.

"i think it's pretty self-explanatory, uh," scratching his neck before continuing, "i like you. and according to both of our chats you like me as well."

when he turns to look at you, you look at him as if he were the answer to the meaning of life. a tint of pink appears on his cheek, and he keeps himself from looking away.

“what…what are you staring at?”

a pause. “say it again.”

he tilts his head in confusion. “say what again?”

“what you just said right now.”

“i like you and you like me back.”

“the first part of the sentence.”

“i like you.”

you face visibly brightens. “say that again.”

kazuha laughed, and you swear if he was your alarm, you’d wake up 10 minutes before just to hear it in the morning.

kazuha leaned back on the bed. “im pretty sure you’re forgetting the part where you liked me back, didn’t you?”

“that can wait, you said you liked me?” you reply with a grin.

he sits back up, and faced towards you, giving you the same grin. “isn’t this supposed to be a mutual confession?”

but before you could think of a cheeky response, he lifted his hand and gently cupped your jaw. all thoughts in your head were now non-existent, and you could only think about how close you both were and how his lips were so close to yours. the atmosphere in the room had changed, and whatever was about to be said before was completely out of mind now.

kazuha thumb moved closer and closer to your lips, and he softly spoke. “you would be ok with this..right?”

you would’ve responded, but the way he asked beforehand and the sudden closeness of his lips had you lean in. his arms held onto you yours, and somehow pulled you in closer than you were before. you felt like liquid, melting under his touch, and his lips on yours and his hands in your hair made you shiver. you felt his smile, and as soon as it started he broke the kiss. the air was hot but you both could only stare each other as you tried to gain your breath.

“are..are you alright?”

you softly laughed. “i’m fine. just…need to catch my breath.”

he pressed his forehead onto yours, his arms intertwined into yours. as the sun made way for the moon and you both watched the window in peace, you’ve never felt more thankful to be introduced to him.

reposting or plagiarizing of my works is not allowed under any circumstances.

#📝 —writing #kazuha *heart eyes* #genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #kazuha #kazuha x reader #kazuha x you

[the-travelling-witch]

HOLLY HATES GRANDPAS (zhongli) CONFIRMED/j

I actually really like the thought of Xiao and his relationship being a bit darker I mean didn’t Xiao kill thousands of “people” and creatures for him? I’m not educated on his lore but I know Xiao was some type of warrior to Morax when he was a god? Archon?

Holly I would love to hear your thoughts on it

okay where do i start with this… no seriously where do i start

You said you don’t know much about Xiao, so let’s start there (coming from someone who might know a little too much about him jshsh).

Basically, yes, you are correct that Xiao was fighting for Morax alongside the other Yaksha and Adepti during the Archon War after Morax saved him from his enslavement to an ancient god and gave him the name “Xiao”. Because of his gratitude to Morax, Xiao took on the duty to protect Liyue, something he still does to this day.

Now, what I think is important to mention here is that Xiao is still referred to as a “young adeptus” even in present times, so during the Archon War approximately 2700 years ago, he was much younger still, meaning he was enslaved from a very very young age. (My personal headcanon is that he had golden wings originally and that they have been cut off/ clipped/ ripped out by the ancient god when he was first enslaved.)

But Xiao was not alone in protecting Liyue. He had four fellow guardian yaksha, who were all very dear to him, but who tragically passed after succumbing to what is known as “karmic debt”. Karmic debt is the residual wrath of slain gods, whose hatred and power remain after being defeated due to them being immortal. It causes a physical and mental toll on those who are subjected to it, especially continuously over long periods of time, like the yaksha.

(There were more than these five yaksha, of course, like Pervases, but I’m talking mostly about the five guardian yaksha.)

In the perilous trail quest line we learn more in depth about what happened to the four other yaksha; Indarias succumbed to madness and fear, Bonanus and Menogias killed each other in battle and Bosacius fought in the Chasm during the cataclysm after even forgetting his own name.

Xiao wasn’t unaffected either. Had he not heard Venti play the flute, he would have lost himself to his karmic debt too, which is not unsurprising considering he has been fighting the remnants of gods from the Archon War all this time.

(I feel we are now leaving hoyo’s plane of storytelling and entering my plane of angst, so everything from here on out is interpreted through the messenger that is me… but you guys love my angst right)

And Zhongli isn’t the harmless, senile grandpa who forgets his wallet all the time (which he totally does on purpose) as he makes himself out to be. When Xiao first met him he was the Warrior God, Morax.

Surely, during a war, for someone like him, the first thought on his mind wasn’t how the people around him felt but how he could best utilise the weapons at his disposal to ensure victory.

And Xiao happened to be one of those weapons.

If you look at what Xiao did during and after his enslavement, it’s not much different, is it? He still, as you said, slaughtered and slayed countlessly, just under a different leader.

And sure, the difference here is that Xiao accepted it willingly this time around, yet, as I explained earlier, I think that he was still very much within his formative years (decades? centuries?) back then, where he, for one, learnt that apparently killing is what he was good for. But also, of course, he would perceive Morax as this “good” person who freed him and who he wants to support; and at first glance, there’s nothing wrong with that.

We also see, however, that Xiao holds Zhongli in a higher regard than pretty much anyone else. Even nowadays he still refers to him as Rex Lapis and dares anyone to speak ill about him (or Morax for that matter) though Zhongli has retired both of those names already. Yet Xiao of all people clings to it.

Also what kind of (good) father would let his son literally work away to the brink of insanity?

Yes, I’m aware that Zhongli inquires about how Xiao is doing and that he has medicine made for him (which he doesn’t deliver himself), which is fine and all but also… too little too late huh? It also means that Zhongli is aware of the state Xiao is in and he never bothers to walk his old ass over to Wangshuu Inn and tell the guy to stop? We went over how loyal Xiao is to Zhongli; you’d think he’d listen if he earnestly told him to rest, the old geezer is the reason Xiao does all this protecting in the first place.

And don’t think I forgot about the chasm quest, oh no. I know Zhongli saved Xiao just in the nick of time and we all cried at the cutscene, and I cried so much but also… why does this retired grandpa have to show up so late? He couldn’t have stopped looking at silk flowers two minutes earlier, before Xiao took on the physical and mental toll of sacrificing himself? Sure… if you say so…

(Though probably not his intention, you could read it as another sign of “You are still here because of me” or Xiao could be encouraged in feeling like he once again owes his life to Morax.)

But, what is even more heartbreaking, is how Xiao had been ready to make the ultimate sacrifice this entire time (shown by how he asked Yanfei about what a will is and if anyone could make one). Where do you think that mindset came from?

(Okay, Holly, calm down. Don’t throw hands with the geo grandpa… leave some for Neuvillette.)

And I’m not saying that Zhongli would still make the same decisions today that he made back then or that he is proud of what he has done. Actually, I think he’d feel quite guilty now that peaceful times have been established and he is in the position to take a step back and reevaluate, which is probably where his attempts at healing come from. I’m not saying he is a fundamentally bad person.

(Zhongli: “We did not measure right and wrong during the days of the Archon War in the same manner as we do today.”)

I’m saying that the circumstances of their first meeting lastingly formed the base and nature of their relationship.

I don’t think Zhongli has bad intentions, yet he also doesn’t address their past dynamic either and after what we established, we can assume Xiao wouldn’t either, which is probably why Zhongli reckons it is okay to let the topic rest.

(comment by @watatsumiis: “i feel like xiao literally isnt equipped to bring up these sorts of conversations. he just thinks how hes living is totally normal. like if you were to really twist it, YEAH their relationship could be like a father and son dynamic but in the way that like.. zhongli is a more mature and well rounded person than xiao is and because of his emotional experience he should be the one taking the lead and helping to guide xiao in these situations, even if that means starting the hard conversations.” Thank you for putting into words what my 1am brain couldn’t <3)

When he tells Xiao to go and make and meet friends he probably has very good intentions and there is care there. But we also know making connections is something Xiao is very afraid of, no matter how much he craves having a connection to someone, because he is scared to taint them with his karmic debt.

I also want to reiterate that the god who helped Xiao most with fighting against his karmic debt was Venti, who Zhongli labels as a useless drunk… just saying.

You could say that Zhongli tries to move their relationship from master and weapon to something more familial but his attempts are a little clumsy, probably because their history just runs very deep and old roles are hard to let go of.

To me, Xiao is a character with childlike curiosity but also the resoluteness and stoicism of someone who was forced to grow up too fast. And in a happier ending, someone close and dear to him (me, it’s me) can help him reevaluate his purpose and bring more nuance into a pretty black and white view on things.

However, @/watataumiis and I have been moving into a completely different direction ofc and I won’t spoil what it is here but I’ve been thinking about it a lot since then (and naturally I immediately started self shipping shenanigans bc I can’t not insert myself when Xiao is involved :])

And with that I conclude my crazed ramblings <3

(Again, not saying Zhongli is a bad person or anything, and this also not necessarily the basis on which I write him in x reader fics; you know me, I just like exploring avenues like this. Also I feel like I’m forgetting half of what I wanted to say, but that’s kinda typical; just know that I feel like there are more angsty thoughts under the smooth surface of my late night brain.

And while it’s not my cup of tea, I’m not trying to put down anyone who does see them as a functional father/son dynamic; there is nothing wrong with wanting that fluffy found family comfort ^^)

#┊✩彡 divine correspondence ♡ #┊✩彡 unsigned letter ♡ #i have a draft somewhere where this is somewhat topical #but i scraped it lol / didn’t finish the other characters #anyway #an ask where i get to be angsty and a hater? sign me up #also didn’t really proofread this #don’t @ me #/lh #genshin impact #genshin xiao #genshin zhongli #zhongli #xiao

[autisticlancemcclain]

Eighteen (Crazy) Chapter 8

“Okay,” Shiro says, assuming his Dad Posture. 

(He denies that he has a Dad Posture, but he really does. He holds his hands in front of him, clasped together, expression on his face like he already knows they’re going to whine at him and he’s ready to guide them in the right direction.) 

“...and then we’ll meet back here, okay? Repeat my instructions back to me.”

And the Dad behaviour continues. Shiro would make an excellent kindergarten teacher, Lance thinks. Maybe that’s his retirement plan. 

“Go to our rooms, shower in case the lake water had weird stuff in it, get dressed in warm clothes, grab leftovers from the kitchen, and meet you in the common room in thirty minutes,” everyone recites dutifully, which is wonderful for Lance because he wasn’t listening. 

Lance hides a smile in his hand. Having a dad is so cool. 

Since Lance know he has spent the day being particularly stressful (he’ll admit that the pod racing was unkind to Shiro’s poor heart), he chooses not to complain, instead pressing a kiss to Shiro’s cheek with a loud ‘mwah’ sound and an overly-enthusiastic “sure thing, Pops! Love ya!”

“You are nine years younger than me,” Shiro grumbles. He tries for approximately three seconds to look grouchy, but then he sighs. “Love you too, menace boy. Go. Shower off the lake filth.”

Lance rushes to his room, chucking off his flight suit and turning to water to cold. He’s going to regret that, probably a lot, but if he lets the water stay warm there’s a thousand percent chance he’s going to get distracted, and his shower alone will take him forty-five minutes. And, yeah, Lance is not the most punctual person around, and the team is well used to his shit, and he’s the birthday boy so he won’t get in any real trouble, but –

Lance wants presents, okay? He’s excited. Sue him. By the time he’s cleaned and has rushed through his skincare routine, it’s only been 17 minutes. 

Hell yeah. 

He sprints down the halls – too much energy to walk – careening through the doorway of the common room and skidding to a stop when he sees he’s not there alone.

“Hey, Lance,” Keith greets, tilting his head back so he can see Lance from his position on the floor, grinning brightly. “You’re early.”

“I’m on time,” Lance says huffily. He looks at his watch to double check. “Yeah! Shiro said be here in a half hour, and I only took eighteen minutes!”

“You have never been on time even once in your life, dude, so on time for you is early. With the exception of missions, Hunk calls you fifteen minutes early for training every day and somehow you’re still late. Honestly, it’s a little impressive.”

“You are mean to me,” Lance whines, throwing himself with as much drama as he can manage on the couch, arm over his eyes and everything. “Horrible, rude, unfair. A bully, even –”

Keith makes a loud groaning noise, flopping his head back on the couch and going cross-eyed in his attempt to give Lance a Look.

“I will do anything in the world to get you to stop,” he says. Lance kicks him in the shoulder as punishment, only Keith’s reflexes are faster than Lance’s, so he manages to grab Lance’s leg and yank on it, pulling Lance forward with a yelp. He barely manages to catch himself on time, ending up with his legs on either side of Keith’s torso and his hands in his hair.

Lance grins wickedly.

“I have decided on the anything in question,” he announces. He slides his hands through Keith’s hair and tugs.

Keith groans. “No.”

“You said anything! That includes braiding your hair!”

Lances starts to brush his hands through Keith’s hair, scratching his nails over his scalp in the way he knows makes Keith all melty. 

Keith sighs. “Fine –”

Lance cheers, immediately sectioning Keith’s hair and tying one half to the side.

“–but you cannot do pigtails.”

“Aw, hey,” Lance pouts. “But pigtails are so cute and fun!”

“Case in point.”

“Please please please please please please –”

“You think that’s going to work on me, Lance, but you’re wrong. I pulled that shit on Shiro all the time. I’m immune.”

Ha, that’s what he thinks. Keith may also be an annoying younger brother by trade, but Shiro is a softie like none other. He has the biggest bleeding heart than anyone Lance has ever met. You ask him anything and you’re almost guaranteed it if you pout well enough. But Lance grew up with Veronica. With Marco. 

With Hunk.

He could out-annoy Keith braindead and with duct-tape over his mouth. 

“– please please please please please –”

“Alright fine!” Keith shouts. “Jesus. I thought I was good at that.”

“I am the queen,” Lance says primly. He goes right back to weaving strands of Keith’s thick hair together, humming a song that he hopes conveys a mix of smug and happy. It doesn’t take him long to finish the hair, poking Keith in the side with his foot when he needs one of the many hairbands on Keith’s wrist. “All done! You look adorable.”

“I am supposed to look cool,” Keith grumbles. He reaches back and pats his head, tracing his fingers over the woven strands. “But I suppose I will indulge you.”

“You do that a lot.”

Lance means it to be teasing, to make Keith roll his eyes in exasperation and maybe smack Lance with a pillow. That’s what he’d usually do. 

But that doesn’t happen. Instead Keith leans back onto Lance’s legs, reaching up to grab one of Lance’s hands, and squeezes once, twice, three times in quick succession. 

“Yeah,” he says, voice soft and eyes warm and sparkling. “I do.”

Lance flushes, pushing down the giggles bubbling up his throat. “We had a deal, you scoundrel. Not on my birthday. You are making this very hard.”

Keith turns around to face Lance and grins teasingly. “That’s my goal, Blue.” He crawls up onto the couch, leaning right into Lance’s space, so close their breathing mingles together. “I’m good at the long con, Leandro. And I’ve only got to wait ‘till midnight.”

“So actually wait until midnight then, Romeo,” Lance teases, but his voice is breathy. “Weren’t you calling me the impatient one, earlier?”

“Mhm, sure, and –”

“Oh, Lance, I want braids too! Dibs on being next!” 

At the sound of Allura’s voice, Lance shoves Keith off him on reflex, who tumbles to the floor with a yelp. “Sorry,” Lance says with a wince, glancing down at Keith’s sprawled form. 

“Really feeling the love,” he says drily. Lance rolls his eyes and turns back to Allura. 

“Come sit, ‘Llura. I’ll braid while we wait for everyone else. We can talk shit about Keith while we do it. He’s been very dramatic, lately, have you noticed?”

He braids Allura’s hair, and then Pidge’s, to the backdrop of Keith whining about not getting enough attention (he’d rather die than admit it, but Keith is like one of those cats who hisses when you touch it but then sits on your laptop and refuses to move, even when you have gigantic essay that you left until last minute and only have twenty minutes to finish). Shiro comes in at some point and narrows in immediately on Keith’s sprawled form, deciding to pull a Lilo & Stitch and flop over Keith to drive him insane. 

It’s hilarious. 

“Where’s Hunk and Coran?” Lance asks once he ties a pink bow to the end of Pidge’s braids. He tries to keep the impatience out of his voice, but it doesn’t work too well, judging on the knowing grins on his friends’ faces. 

“Getting your presents,” Allura says, unable to stay calm any longer. “All of them!”

“Well, I’m trying to, but this damn thing is heavier than you are and fourteen times more dangerous, Lance. Well, unless you’re armed.”

Lance whips towards the door, where Hunk is painstakingly trying to lug a truly magnificently sized potted plant into the room, Coran skipping into the room with a massive armful of gifts right after him. 

Lance gasps. He rolls right off the couch, barely missing elbowing Shiro in the face, slamming on the floor first before somersaulting to his feet and rushing over to Hunk. 

“Did you bring me a friend?”

“It’s a Dilofius surtus, or essentially a space venus flytrap,” Hunk explains, both to Lance – who is paying about 3% attention to Hunk and 97% attention to the most gorgeous, toothy, sharp, slimy, wonderful new friend in the universe – and their very amused friends. “I know you miss your danger plants back home. This one spits venom, so I figured you’d be particularly fond of it.”

“Oh, look at this darling girl!” Lance coos. He runs a finger over the curve of one of the biting heads, laughing delightedly when it snaps at him. “She’s so playful! I love her so much. Hunk, you have been replaced as my best friend. Yes, Clarita, you are! You are my new best friend, beautiful girl!”

“Why do you think he’s like this?” Pidge asks the room. 

Hunk presses a kiss to Lance’s hair, whispering a “happy birthday, you dorkus,” and then walks over to the couches. “He has a thing for strays. When we had car rides that drove past any kind of alley, someone had to be tasked with keeping him distracted so he wouldn’t look out the window and catch sight of a homeless dog, or whatever. Going on walks after the rain was impossible because he would stop to pick up every worm.”

“– oh you sweet thing, look at your teeth!”

“Lance, dear,” Coran calls. He pats the seat next to him. “Come open the rest of your gifts. You can play with the death plant later.”

“‘Kay,” Lance says, pressing a kiss to one of the heads and skipping over to the seat Coran patted. He throws his feet in Hunk’s lap, beaming at him brightly. “Hunk, I love you. You know me so well. I love you double. You are the bestest. You are –”

He’s cut off by a small box sailing through the air and nailing him in the face. 

“Write Hunk a letter about how great he is later,” Pidge snarks. “If we let you wax poetic all you want then we’ll be here all night, and I have a project.”

“Aw, Pidgey,” Lance says. “Is that emotions allergy acting up?”

She gets up immediately, reaching for the present. “Alrighty, I’ll be taking that right back –”

“Kidding! Kidding! Don’t take my present! Hiss!”

“Open it then, you goober.”

At her permission, Lance does, tearing through the wrapping paper and opening a metal box. Inside is a beautifully intricate bracelet, shiny silver, a stone pendant with several moons and stars carved carefully in the metal. Lance traces the delicate designs with his fingers, mouth open in shock. 

“Did you…make this?”

“Press your pinky to the back of the pendant,” Pidge suggests. Lance does, and his jaw drops when it sends a projection of dozens of photos in the air in front of him; photos of the whole team after the dorky food fight, photos of him and his family, photos of all of their fun and silly and careful moments. 

A selfie of him and Pidge, cheeks pressed together, grinning so wide their eyes are nearly squeezed shut, ecstatic after finally getting one of Pidge’s projects to work.

“Pidge…” Lance says, chin trembling.

“Do not cry,” she demands, eyes already wet, “because if you cry, I’ll cry, and then we’ll both look dumb and my eyeliner will run –”

“C’mere!” Lance wails, pulling her close and hugging her tightly. Pidge squeezes his ribs just as tightly, burying her wet face into his shoulder. 

“I know I don’t always say it, but I love you,” she whispers. “You’re my best friend and my brother. I’m glad you’re up here with me.”

“Me, too,” he says, pressing a kiss to her hair. 

She sniffs, pulling away and decking him lightly in the arm to offset the mush. “It’s powered by a thin crystal wire that runs through the metal, so it’ll never die or need charging or anything. If you want more pictures, ask me, I’ll add ‘em for you.”

Lance grins. “Thank you, Pidge.”

“Me next!” Allura calls. She crawls over the couch (and several people, including poor Shiro and Hunk, who both make faces of choked back pain when Allura’s wayward elbows dig into their flesh), grabbing a sparkly pink box and thrusting it forward. “Happy Birthday!”

Lance beams at her, ripping open the sparkly paper – getting sparkles all over Coran and Hunk as well as himself – and takes the lid off a cardboard box.

“Are these – Earth movies?”

“Yes!” Allura cheers. “You’ve talked so much about how much you love movies, so I’ve stopped by the Earth store every movement and gathered up whatever’s available!”

It’s the most random assortment of movies Lance has ever seen. A couple animated classes, several black-and-white old Hollywoods, more foreign – can he still call them foreign in space? – films than he can count. 

“Allura, you are the queen of my heart. I adore you.”

She laughs, leaning over to press a kiss to his cheek. “We will watch them all together, and you can tell me all about the strange history!”

“I can’t wait, ‘Llura. Oh, you’re gonna absolutely love Anastasia. It’s magical.”

Next is Coran, who wrapped his present so complexly that he has to put on his reading glasses to help Lance unravel it. 

“You got him…rocks?” Shiro asks, tilting his head in confusion. Lance squeals, flapping his hands rapidly. 

“A rock shelf! With fancy shmancy labels! Oh, Coran, you’re the best!” He leans over – bent nearly in half – to carefully inspect every single rock, face going serious as takes in every detail. 

“One more thing, dear,” Coran says. He hands Lance a leather necklace with a small, smooth pink stone on it. Lance takes it and puts it over his head immediately. 

“What is it?” he asks, looking at it curiously. 

“It’s calcified quintessence,” Coran explains. “A rock nearly as old as the universe itself. It lines up with your energy. It will absorb your energy, reflecting back your highest energy when you need it.”

“Cool! A space mood ring!” Lance slips it under his shirt, over his heart. He leans into Coran’s gentle pat on the head, and then Shiro clears his throat. 

“It’s nothing fancy,” he says, passing Lance a bag. He looks shy, embarrassed. “I did my best, but it’s kind of goofy-looking.”

Lance shoots him a smile, then yanks the tissue paper out of the bag, tossing it at Pidge to hear her grumble at him. When he reaches in the bag, he touches something soft, and then he’s pulling out what can only be described as the ugliest stuffed shark he’s ever seen. It’s grey in some places, patched in others, with misplaced fins and wonky eyes. The stitching is sloppy and wide, stuffing spilling out in some places.

Lance bursts into tears. 

Again.

Shiro startles. “Oh, Lance, I know it’s ugly, I’m sorry –”

“I love him so much,” he sobs. He hugs the shark to his chest, squeezing as tightly as he can and rocking back and forth. He tries to find the words to reassure Shiro that he has nothing to worry about, and Lance loves it, but the words are caught in his throat. He looks at Shiro with wet eyes, trying to convey his gratitude, trying to express how happy he is to finally have something soft to sleep with again, how it would fit right at home with all his other stuffies; the rejects he couldn’t bear to leave behind. 

“Aw, kiddo, c’mere.” 

Lance does, bawling, crawling into Shiro’s arms and letting the man smooth back his bangs and press a kiss to his forehead. 

“You – you listened, when I told you about the –”

“Of course I listened, dork. That’s the whole point of this family thing. You look sad about not having a myriad of stuffed animals, I make you one, although my sewing skills leave something to be desired.”

Lance sniffles. “I like it better ugly.”

“Because no one else will love it?” Shiro asks, grinning wryly.

“Mhm.” 

Lance stays safe in Shiro’s arms for a while, collecting himself and taking a quick breather from all the excitement. His day has been wonderful, there’s no mistaking it, but it’s been long and there’s been a lot of it.

“You good now?” Shiro whispers. Lance nods, pulling away.

Time for one more. 

He turns to Keith, who’s grinning softly at him, holding a long, thin box.

“Happy birthday, Blue.”

Lance takes the box, wiping his eyes and smiling. 

“Thanks, Red.”

He carefully pries open the box, having to wiggle it a bit when the corner gets stuck. 

What’s inside takes his breath away. 

“A knife?” Lance asks quietly. 

“I know you’re a gun guy,” Keith says. “But – I’ve been using Hunk’s scrap metal for the past few months to make it, so I made sure it’s balanced and everything, and this way if you ever get cornered you’ll have another line of defense. And I figured you and me could train with it –”

“Keith,” Lance says breathlessly, “shut up.” He surges forward and practically tackles Keith in a hug, squeezing him tightly and trying so hard not to cry again. “You made me a knife. You nerd.”

Lance doesn’t need to see him to know he’s rolling his eyes. 

“Nerd who wants to make sure you can protect yourself, maybe.”

Eventually Hunk pulls Lance off, depositing him on the couch and throwing a blanket over his shoulders. Hunk squishes him from one side, Keith on the other, everyone else squeezing themselves around him somehow. They watch the movies Allura got him, joking and teasing, laughing with each other and teasing anyone at any given time. One by one, everyone drops off to sleep – starting with Coran, who dropped off somewhere around movie number one – until the only ones left art the eternal insomniacs themselves: Keith and Lance.

“Hey, Lance,” Keith whispers, readjusting the arm he has over the back of the couch. “Guess what.”

“What?”

“It’s five past midnight.”

“Hm? Yeah, I guess it is.”

“Lance. Hey. Look at me.”

Lance does, turning his head to face Keith, resting on Keith’s extended arm. Keith is grinning, widely, brightly, sparkling. 

“It’s not your birthday anymore, sweetheart.”

It takes Lance a moment to get it – look, he’s been awake for so long his neurons are barely firing – but when he does, his smile matches, just as excited. Butterflies flutter in his stomach. 

“No, it’s not,” he agrees. 

Keith’s hand comes down to cup Lance’s face. “Is five minutes past midnight long enough to satisfy your specialness requirements, your highness?”

Lance leans into the hand, tangling his fingers in Keith’s shirt and pulling him closer. 

“It is,” he whispers. 

“Good,” Keith whispers back, and their lips finally touch. 

It’s the best present of them all. 

#AND FINALLY IT IS FINISHED #vld #voltron #lance #lance mcclain #keith #keith kogane #klance #lance & allura #lance & shiro #lance & hunk #lance & coran #lance & pidge #team as family #happy birthday lance #fluff #humour #autistic lance #lance has adhd #getting together #fluff and humour #SPACE DAD SHIRO #my writing #fic #longpost #eighteen (crazy)

[rotzaprachim]

This article is from August 2023 and was written by Mohammed R. Mhawish, a Gaza-based journalist writing for the local +972/Local Call publication. I think it covers a LOT of the current talking points with a lot more knowledge and nuance than many of the takes.

"Last week, the southern governorate of Khan Younis and other areas in the center of the Gaza Strip witnessed tense scenes as several thousand Palestinians took to the streets to protest frequent power outages, food shortages, and overall harsh living conditions. Marching under the banner of “Bidna N’eesh” (“We Want to Live”), the mass protests mark a significant expression of public resentment that has accumulated among the blockaded population for years. 

In response, demonstrations in support of Hamas, the Islamist party ruling the strip, paraded down the streets cheering for the government and confronting those who were not voicing support for the movement. The police intervened shortly afterward, reportedly confiscating cell phones and making multiple arrests.

The protests followed days of intense frustration and dispute with the Hamas government, which began after a Khan Younis resident was killed when one of the walls of his house fell on top of him as local authorities attempted to demolish it, claiming it was initially built on a public road. The authorities alleged the man’s death was a tragic accident, firing the mayor of the responsible municipality.

Characterized by their mobility, brevity, and direct impact, the marches appear to be coordinated by grassroots movements through online platforms and social media. Several Palestinians who were among the crowds told me that their demonstrations stem from a fundamental demand for their basic human rights, which include necessities like public services, employment, freedom to travel, and the ability to engage in outside commerce. At the time of writing, the Hamas government has not shared with the public any foreseeable solution to any of these grievances, or how it will address people’s anger.

Electricity has been at the center of the protesters’ demands. While Gaza’s energy crisis predates the current protests, the scorching heat waves enveloping the region this summer have driven temperatures to soar above 38 degrees Celsius (over 100 degrees Fahrenheit) in the strip. The heat has only added to the growing discontent among the territory’s 2.3 million Palestinian residents, who are confined to a stretch of land of around 360 square kilometers that has, since 2007, been cut off by an Israeli blockade that affects every facet of daily life.

This collective frustration has been building over a considerable period of time, as Gaza’s population has to subsist on a daily ration of only four-to-six hours of electricity. Certain residences and businesses resort to private generators or solar panels in order to cope with the prolonged power outages. For others unable to afford such costly equipment, modest battery-powered LED lights provide makeshift illumination, while others fan themselves with plastic trays to try and beat the heat.

According to local energy bodies, Gaza requires approximately 500 megawatts of power per day during the summer season. However, it currently receives a mere 120 megawatts from Israel, with the enclave’s solitary power plant — repeatedly damaged by Israeli military assaults and weakened by restrictions on materials — contributing an additional 60 megawatts. Lately, social media footage has shown Gaza shrouded in darkness at night, with few lights emanating from its cities. 

While the public and the Fatah-led Palestinian Authority in the West Bank predominantly attribute Gaza’s challenges to Israel’s occupation, many people believe that Hamas still has some capacity, and the obligation, to initiate helpful measures, including by increasing the power plant’s production and operating it at maximum capacity, especially during the summer.

Bearing the toll

Over the past 16 years, Gaza has become a crucible for enduring humanitarian, economic, and political hardship. The enclave has experienced several rounds of deadly wars with Israel, most devastatingly in the summer of 2014. The closure imposed on all of Gaza’s entry points has plunged the economy into decay, leading to a sharp rise in unemployment and resulting in severe scarcity of essential supplies and other resources.

Palestinians have had to navigate significant divisions within their political leadership, the most apparent of which were the armed clashes between Fatah and Hamas in 2007. Hamas had secured victory in the 2006 parliamentary elections from other factions, controlling the legislature and prime minister’s post while Fatah leader Mahmoud Abbas was elected to the presidency. 

The Palestinian government was immediately met with sanctions by Israel, the United States, and European countries, exacerbating the factional rivalry that led to Hamas taking over Gaza. Since then, the territory has sunk under the weight of Israel’s crippling siege. 

However, the present demonstrations in Gaza stand out due to the heightened level of public engagement and the number of protesters involved. The gravity of the situation is manifold, and the population’s living conditions are only becoming more challenging. 

Palestinians have long called for new, inclusive elections, reflecting an exhilarating demand for change. Yet public support for Hamas in Gaza persists, and there is rising concern that the voices of those who seek some form of change and restoration of their rights will be stifled — both by Israeli and Palestinian authorities.

There are several aspects to the evolving complexities among Palestinian political actors. Fatah and Hamas are involved in an ongoing mutual blame game, each attributing Gaza’s troubles to the other party. The PA urges Hamas to take action even as it primarily holds Israel responsible as the occupying power (one which the PA cooperates with under the Oslo Accords). All the while, it is the people who bear the toll and face ominous consequences while the feeble pursuit of reconciliation continues.

Members of Izz al-Din al-Qassam Brigades, the military wing of Hamas, guard the street in Rafah, southern Gaza Strip, December 14, 2022. (Abed Rahim Khatib/Flash90)

Last but not least, Islamic Jihad, once a marginal movement, has recently emerged as a significant player in the Palestinian geopolitical landscape. During Israel’s latest two wars on Gaza in August 2022 and May 2023, Islamic Jihad displayed relatively independent and effective decision-making power on the military front, although it still seeks the political and military endorsement of Hamas as the ruling authority.

Beyond the social fragmentation in Gaza and the West Bank, one winner is currently taking all: the Israeli far right, which is relentlessly targeting the foundations of the Palestinian struggle and advancing its vision of permanently scattering the Palestinian population into disparate territorial and political enclaves.

Under the leadership of Benjamin Netanyahu, the current government is seizing every opportunity to solidify its presence in the West Bank. This includes the construction of illegal settlements, the annihilation of any attempt at armed or popular resistance, and the annexation of Palestinian land and resources — further weakening the basis of any Palestinian political process. 

A united front for liberation

The current protests in Gaza undoubtedly echo the legitimate demands of the Palestinian people, who are deserving and capable of forging a new, united front toward freedom and dignity. But the biggest question remains: do the Palestinian leaders possess the willingness to heed these calls, and to take effective measures toward fulfilling them?

Both external and internal observers often attribute the divisions among Palestinian factions to contrasting political and ideological interests. Yet such differences should, if anything, lay the foundation and impetus for a broad political coalition that can align communal needs with the pursuit of liberation. While some argue that the Palestinian factions are gradually realigning against Israel and not each other, many still hold a sense of despair over whether they will ever see a unified leadership that spans the spectrum of war and peace, resistance and governance, and that brings Palestinians together under one common rule.

Hamas leaders in the Gaza Strip Ismail Haniyeh (center left) and Yahya Sinwar (center right) march during a protest against US President Donald Trump’s “Deal of the Century” and the “Peace to Prosperity” conference in Bahrain, in Gaza City, June 26, 2019. (Hassan Jedi/Flash90)

In Gaza, there is a notable sentiment that having an armed presence that safeguards Palestinians’ right to self-defense against Israeli military aggression should not overshadow people’s aspiration to live with as much independence and prosperity as they can muster under occupation. The goal of breaking the Israeli blockade, once the primary beacon of hope for freedom in Gaza, is intertwined with the pursuit of meeting basic needs within Gaza’s borders, like two more hours of access to clean drinking water or electricity a day.

This is accompanied by a widespread view that Hamas, like other Palestinian factions, is trying to control and silence grassroots activism and dissent, eliciting further irritation from the public. The Palestinian leaders’ verbal acceptance of the idea of change should not only mean blending their varying perspectives together, but has to also mean a stop to sweeping the people’s collective calls under the carpet for a better future. 

Indeed, the intensification of Israeli attacks on all Palestinians across the land, and the aim to disperse the public sphere in Gaza, make these protests an ideal time to reassert the need for a unified Palestinian leadership that can thrive — one that prioritizes upholding human values and the basic needs of life under occupation, and that does not stumble amid the rapidly changing shifts in the regional and international landscape, which have marginalized the Palestinians’ demands for freedom and for decent living conditions too.

More importantly, the current leaderships — both in Gaza and the West Bank — should refrain from governing by diktat, and should instead respect the will of the majority and adhere to the country’s legal frameworks and vision for liberation. Attempting to force change through open conflict with a discontented public is unlikely to succeed. It has never been a successful or just method to achieve self-determination, especially when led by scattered minority factions, each chanting a different slogan and seemingly unconcerned with democratic representation. Each leader ends up clinging to power with no real intention of improving and safeguarding the lives of their constituents.

To overcome these challenges, Palestinians must be able to convey criticisms in a way that resonates with the supporters of each party, rather than simply proving their leaders wrong — thereby demonstrating the possibility of unity. The current Gaza protests, and the Unity Intifada that erupted across all of Palestine two years ago, indicate the necessity of such a united path. Once it has been truly achieved, no external influence will be able to hinder, disregard, or fragment the substantial majority of the people from breaking free from their cycle of exclusion.

Until then, the Palestinian people deserve the chance to address the very valid debate over a much-needed policy roadmap that would determine the fate of their struggle. By setting aside divergent realpolitik on the internal battleground, and doing what can be done for the people with the tools they have, only then can they remain steadfast and hopeful in the face of an occupying force."

#news #palestine