#to instead work on some nonsense to keep myself busy

[dreamwritesimagines]

Garden of Secrets [20] - Heliotrope

A.N: Thank you so much for your wonderful feedback and support my loves, it made my whole week, you’re amazing!❤ I hope you’ll like this chapter as well, and please don’t forget to tell me what you think, thank you! ❤

Thanks so much to @theskytraveler​ for helping me with the chapter!

Summary: Having too many drinks can lead to honesty.

Warnings: Regency era society and social rules, some gender specific language and terms, mentions of sex, mentions of violence, slow burn.

Word Count: 4300

Series Masterlist

When you went to bed that night, right before falling asleep you decided that this whole feelings nonsense was probably like some sort of fever; you would sleep it off and it would simply go away.

Except that it didn’t.

So the next morning you just figured it would probably take a couple of days to go away, just like any flu. It surely was as annoying as the flu, but you were sure you were going to be able to think straight in a couple of days.

Any day now.

So you had thrown herself into any kind of distraction you could find, but seeing that you no longer had a garden you could work on, it wasn’t as easy. You were nearly restless, your hands itching for the garden but you managed to keep it under control, only helping Bess and your aunt with their plants instead of working on your own plants.

Desiring your husband whom you hadn’t consummated your marriage with was not something you could even get any advice on. The whole ton and everyone close to you thought you were deeply in love and thus, you liked spending time in bed together. You and Benedict were so good at pretending to be in love so it wasn’t as if you could just tell Josie without raising any questions.

You were so lost in your thoughts that you hadn’t even noticed Benedict entering the library. You were seated on the comfortable sofa by the huge window, resting the book on your legs with a warm cup of herbal tea on the coffee table by your side, the sunlight falling over you, making you feel all warm. Your head shot up when Benedict cleared his throat and your heartbeat paced up as soon as your eyes fell on his handsome figure leaning sideways to one of the bookshelves.

“I was wondering where you were,” he said and you smiled at him, then tucked your legs underneath you to make room for him on the other side of the sofa.

“Charlotte is busy with her siblings and Josie had things to do so I left there early,” you said. “You were painting when I got back, so I didn’t want to disturb you.”

“You never disturb me,” he said and motioned at the sofa. “May I?”

“Absolutely.”

He came to sit beside you, his pleasant scent tickling your nostrils and you ran your fingertip over the page of the book absentmindedly, looking at him.

“Did you finish the painting or take a break?”

“I took a break so that I could really absorb myself in self-doubt instead of trying to do that and paint at the same time,” he pointed out, making you let out a laugh.

“Ouch. One of those days?”

“Mm hm.”

“Do you want me to talk badly of your artistic idols? Because I can, very easily.”

He chuckled. “I appreciate it,” he said and ran a hand through his hair. “I don’t know, I guess you know, with the party tonight…”

You frowned for a moment before snapping your fingers.

“Right, the party tonight!” you said. “I forgot about that.”

“Do you still want to go?”

“Of course,” you said. “I want to see that part of the city at night but do you want to go?”

Benedict nodded. “Yeah, absolutely.”

“We can just go some other time if you want?”

“No no,” he said. “It’s not that. It’s just— you know, everyone keeps asking me why I’m applying for the academy next year instead of this year.”

You bit inside your cheek. “But you don’t want to apply this year.”

“I don’t know if I should,” he said. “I feel like I need more practice.”

You shrugged your shoulders. “You don’t owe anyone any explanation. It’s just not in your plans this year.”

“Well yes but Henry and all his friends are convinced that it makes no sense I wait for the next season when I can easily be accepted this season as well.”

You hummed. “Pin it on me.”

“Hm?”

“Tell them I’m—I’m the reason why you’re not applying this year,” you waved a hand in the air. “Marriage responsibilities, distraction, I take up all your time when you should be working on your art, your pick. Isn’t that what artists and writers do? Have bad spouses?”

“I don’t think that’s true.”

“That’s what I read,” you said with a shrug of your shoulders. “No seriously, we’re married now so we can use each other as an excuse for everything.”

He pulled his brows together. “What did you use me as an excuse for?”

“The opportunity hasn’t risen yet but I’m sure it will eventually,” you pointed out. “And when it does, I will not hesitate.”

Benedict chuckled and heaved a sigh, leaning his head back to close his eyes.

“I could say I’m too taken by newlywed bliss to pay attention to my art actually,” he murmured, and the simple term made your heart skip a beat, your dream flashing before your eyes and you cleared your throat.

“There you go.”

He opened an eye to look at you. “So I’ve been thinking.”

“About?”

“You’re free to say no if you don’t want to, but after the season is over, we could go on a trip if you’d like.”

“I thought we were going to your home in the countryside after the season was over, until the next one.”

“Our home and yes,” he pointed at you, making you repress a smile. “But this was supposed to be our honeymoon right? And we didn’t even go anywhere, so let’s do that after the season. A belated honeymoon trip.”

Your heart beat sped up. “Benedict…”

“I use the term honeymoon loosely,” he added in a haste. “I don’t expect anything of course.”

But you did.

You expected something, and you wanted it to be soon.

“Just a friendly trip,” he said and you licked your lips.

“Where?”

“Where do you want?”

You let out a laugh. “I’ve only seen two cities in my life, here and where I was born. I don’t think I can give travel suggestions.”

“There must be somewhere you want to see.”

“It was never much of a possibility for me so I didn’t really think about it,” you confessed and lifted your head. “Wait, Rome has a bunch of art right?”

“That’s one way to put it, yes.”

“Can we go to Rome?”

“Because there’s a bunch of art?” he asked with a smile and you let out a noise of agreement.

“That and other things,” you said. “It could be fun.”

Benedict’s smile widened and he nodded his head.

“As my lady wishes.”

“Good,” you said, mirroring his smile. “Rome it is.”

                                           *

As far as you could tell, tonight was going to be rather chaotic.

Apparently one of Benedict’s friends had rented a whole house just for this party -an inn, you were told- and he had also closed down the entire street for it and moved the party there. Benedict had asked you to stay close to him as soon as the carriage stopped and considering you had never been on this side of the town, you had agreed. He helped you out of the carriage, and you fixed the silky skirts of your dress before turning your head to look at the crowd, your mouth opening slightly. Everyone seemed to be having so much fun, completely drunk already, the music coming from the house reaching outside.

“Wow.”

“Mm hm.”

“What about the officers?” you asked. “I mean this is something else right? The street?”

“Well, this part of the town is barely quiet at night,” Benedict said. “And if they’re paid off well, which I’m guessing they were…”

You let out a whistle and Benedict grinned, obviously pleased with himself.

“Do you mind if I smoke?” he asked and you waved a hand in the air.

“Go ahead.”

He put a cigarette between his lips and lit it, the memory flashing through your head like a lightning, making your heart beat faster. You shifted your weight and averted your eyes, then stood on your tiptoes to see through the crowd. Some of the guests had gathered up in the middle of the cheering crowd to play a game, a tugging war if you weren’t mistaken, and a chuckle escaped from you as one group pulled the other one hard, making them fall down to the ground, all of them still laughing and yelling.

“I was never good at that game,” you muttered to Benedict and he raised his brows.

“You played it?”

“I grew up in the countryside, Benedict,” you reminded him, still grinning. “I certainly didn’t spend my time learning how to play the piano and dance.”

“I heard Daphne say you can play the piano,” he teased you, exhaling the smoke upwards so that you wouldn’t breathe it in. “And we do have a music room—”

“Do not dare,” you pointed at him, making him chuckle.

“I would be the only one to hear it.”

“Not a chance,” you said, a shiver running through you as the cold wind blew over your skin. Benedict noticed it immediately, shrugging off his jacket to drop it over your shoulders.

“Thank you,” you said, your cheeks burning and he smiled at you.

“Of course,” he said. “Want to go inside? It’s probably warmer there.”

You nodded. “Yeah. I also want that drink from the last time.”

A playful glimmer started playing in his blue eyes and he flicked at the cigarette lightly with his thumb so that the ash would fall.

“Lovesick honeymoon couple?”

“Lovesick honeymoon couple,” you said with a giggle and he put the cigarette between his lips, then threw his arm over your shoulder to pull you closer. You inhaled his pleasant scent as discreetly as you could, feeling like your whole face was on fire and you reached out to entwine your fingers with his, then you both started walking to the building, a couple of people greeting you by the door.

The music was even louder inside but it did nothing to drown out the chatter and laughter completely. A footman came to take Benedict’s jacket off of you and Benedict grabbed two glasses from the tray another footman was carrying, and handed one to you.

“There you go,” he said and you clinked it with his, then took a big sip, letting the liquid burn down your throat.

“Are you nervous about tomorrow’s dinner?” you asked and he chuckled.

“Should I be?”

“Nah, I mean…” you trailed off. “Josie does have her moments from time to time and she will certainly question you, but you should be fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah because Bess likes you. Well, she likes everyone but Josie will go easy on you if Bess likes you.”

He pulled his brows together. “They’re that close?”

You tried to keep a straight face. “Uh huh. Very close.”

“I was beginning to think you two wouldn’t show up,” Sir Granville’s voice reached you and you looked over your shoulder to see him with a beautiful woman by his side.

“Sir Granville.”

He waved a hand in the air. “None of that, call me Henry,” he said. “This is Lucy, my wife. Lucy, this is Y/N, the infamous Venus Flytrap who captured our artist.”

You let out a laugh. “Quite the introduction.”

“I’m honored,” Lucy said, “I’ve heard so much about you.”

Benedict rubbed the back of his neck, shifting his weight for some reason.

“How’s the new painting going?” Henry asked Benedict who shrugged.

“There’s something missing, I can’t figure out what yet.”

Henry shook his head slightly. “Y/N, will you please tell this husband of yours that waiting for the next year to apply to Academy is nonsense?”

“Well that would be quite hypocritical of me,” you said airily before Benedict could open his mouth to argue. “Considering how hard I tried to convince him otherwise.”

Benedict’s eyes turned to you, a small smile curling his lips and Henry pulled his brows together.

“Why?”

You tipped your glass in Benedict’s direction slightly. “You didn’t tell them?”

“Tell us what?”

“Well he had mentioned the academy plan before we got engaged but when he proposed, I told him I would only marry him if he promised to spend some time with me on the first year of our marriage,” you said. “Granted I was bluffing, I was going to say yes anyway but it worked.”

Lucy let out a laugh. “Oh my goodness.”

“What, as if the academy wouldn’t take up all your time?” you asked Benedict who nodded fervently. “See? And this is my first season! I wish to enjoy it, the art world can wait until the next season.”

Henry chuckled. “Well I suppose love rules all of us.”

“Let them be,” Lucy said. “She has a point. I sometimes don’t see you for days when you are working on a piece, and they’re still on their honeymoon.”

“Well my only consolation is that artists in love give masterpieces,” Henry said dramatically and Benedict wrapped an arm around your waist to squeeze it, as if saying thank you, then nuzzled at your hair, making your heart skip a beat.

“You’re not the only one who wants to enjoy this season darling,” he said, making your eyes snap up at his and you giggled, resting a hand on his chest as you turned to Henry.

“So no, I’m not going to convince him otherwise,” you said with a smile and he held up his hands.

“I know a lost battle when I see one,” he said. “Fine. But make no mistake Ben, I will drag you out of your marriage bed next season if you don’t apply.”

“I will,” Benedict said with a chuckle as you downed your drink. “I happen to want to get into the Academy, remember?”

“Y/N, I’m just going to grab you before you become a part of this argument,” Lucy said and tugged you by the hand. “Let’s get drinks, you and I.”

Benedict looked between you. “Lucy…”

“I’m not going to steal her, don’t worry,” Lucy joked and linked her arm with yours, and you two walked away from them to the other side of the room where the drinks were being served.

“Have you ever been here before?” you asked Lucy, “This part of the town?”

“More than I could count,” she said with a wave of her hand. “I like parties, and this part of the town is quite scandalous, which means no one will bat an eye no matter what anyone does here or on the street.”

“Is that why the host shut down the whole street?”

Lucy shrugged slightly. “You’ll see once people get drunk enough,” she said and took a glass from the footman, then handed it to you. “You included.”

“Oh I’m not going to drink that much,” you said with a laugh and she tilted her head.

“This is a party,” she reminded you. “The whole point of being here is getting drunk and having fun.”

“I know, I know,” you said. “I’m just not good at letting go of control.”

“Aren’t you on your honeymoon? I’d have thought you were used to letting go of control by now.”

You choked on the drink you were sipping on and Lucy let out a laugh.

“Easy there.”

“Uh…” you cleared your throat. “Yeah but it’s—you know, that’s different.”

She shot you a mischievous look. “They expect women to be the paragon of propriety but as soon as you get married, you’re supposed to turn into an insatiable vixen behind closed doors with the snap of a finger,” she said. “Not to worry. It takes a bit of time even with the one you love, or so I’ve been told.”

“So you’ve been told?” you repeated and she winked at you.

“I was never that good at following rules, before or after marriage.”

You repressed a laugh. “You and I will get along well I think.”

“I’d hope so,” she said and her eyes stopped on someone over your shoulder, making you turn your head but as soon as you did, your heart dropped to your stomach.

Apparently Henry was pulled away by another friend of his because he was talking to another gentleman, and Benedict seemed to be in a deep conversation with a really pretty lady. The bitter taste burned your throat, making you down your drink in hopes of getting rid of it as the lady let out a laugh at something Benedict said, making him chuckle as well. She looked up at him through her lashes, admiration etched in her beautiful features and your jaw clenched as you narrowed your eyes.

Alright, you had to calm down.

There was no reason for you to feel bad. This wasn’t even a real marriage.

“He is quite popular but don’t let that make you jealous.” Lucy said and you turned to her, then let out a scoff.

“I’m not the type to get jealous,” you said, grabbing another drink from the tray before taking a big sip, shaking your head. “I’m not. I’m really not.”

“Say it one more time and I’ll believe you.”

“I’m—” you stopped yourself and took another sip, then stole a look at Benedict before forcing yourself to turn your glances to Lucy. “Uh, what’s that pretty lady’s name?”

“Lady Margery Sutton,” Lucy said. “She was widowed last year when her husband got lost in a ship accident after only three years of marriage.”

“Oh,” you said. “Sounds tragic.”

Lucy shrugged her shoulders. “I doubt she ever liked him much, certainly didn’t mourn him,” she said. “She had so many suitors but she picked Lord Sutton because he had an enormous wealth.”

“Really?”

“Mm hm,” Lucy said. “Even now she has quite a number of suitors. Breaks hearts here and there.”

“Does she now?”

“And she is a lover of art, or at least that’s what Henry claims.”

You bit down on your tongue, raising your brows. “How interesting.”

That sounded exactly like your plan before getting married, and it looked like Lady Sutton was enjoying widowhood well. If it were the start of the season, you would have actually admired her luck but now…

Now you could hardly focus on the conversation from an unreasonable anger burning through you.

“Are you alright?”

You downed your drink, then grabbed another glass again, clearing your throat.

“Yes of course,” you said. “Why would I not be alright?”

“Because you said you didn’t want to get drunk but you are drinking quite fast,” Lucy pointed out. “If this is about their conversation, I wouldn’t be worried. Benedict is completely in love with you, any idiot could see that.”

No, Benedict and you were just pretending and you had no idea why the mere presence of this Lady Sutton was enough to make you want to go over there and pull him into a kiss. You dug your fingernails into your palms and managed to give Lucy a small smile, then shrugged your shoulders.

“I’m not worried,” you said calmly, and Lucy grinned.

“Good,” she said and linked her arm with yours. “Now come with me, I have so many people to introduce you to.”

                                                 *

Alcohol had a way of relaxing you and making you all giggly even though you had been quite tense at the beginning of the night. The sunrise was merely an hour away when you decided to leave the party and unlike you, Benedict had made sure to stay sober throughout the night so that he could take you home safe and sound.

Now to think of it, he had done the same during the last party as well.

Your stomach was doing flips, no doubt the consequence of drinking too much, and you took a deep breath as the carriage stopped in front of your house, by the stone road. Benedict helped you out of the carriage and you looked around, then gasped.

“Benedict, the garden!”

He pulled his brows together. “Hm?”

“Look at the garden! Look how pretty!”

“That’s our garden dearest,” he said with a chuckle. “You see it every day.”

“No but it’s so pretty!” you said and darted to get to the garden, Benedict catching up with you quite easily to press a hand over your waist to stabilize you when you stumbled.

“Easy,” he said, smiling. “Let’s not run around while you’re drunk, hm?”

“I had like…” you tried to count in your head, narrowing your eyes. “Only a couple glasses.”

“I counted eight.”

“You counted wrong,” you said with your nose up in the air and he nodded, biting back a smile.

“Mm hm, of course.”

You looked up at him, admiring how handsome he was under the moonlight before that warmth spread through your lower stomach and you exhaled through your nose, clenching your teeth.

“Unbelievable.”

He frowned. “Hm?”

You motioned at him. “You must do something about this.”

“About what?”

“Your face!” you exclaimed. “And the—the rest of you! Do something!”

“Y/N, what—?”

“Ugh!” you stomped on your foot and wiggled out of his grip to walk away from him to get closer to one of the flower beds and sat down on the ground, your skirts fanning around you. Benedict approached you, then sat beside you.

“Why exactly are you angry at me all of a sudden?”

You pouted your lips, shrugging your shoulders.

“Why do you look so handsome all the time?” the question came out of your lips as an accusation. “What—what’s the need for that?”

He stared at you as if he wasn’t sure how to answer that.

“Uh...?”

“There’s absolutely no need for that,” you cut him off before he could say anything else and he pursed his lips together, trying to keep a straight face.

“Right. Yeah, you’re right.”

“So, you know,” you motioned at him. “Make it stop, alright?”

“I’ll try?”

“Good,” you said. “Much obliged.”

He nodded slowly, resting his fist over his mouth to hide a smile and you turned to look at the flower bed, then grabbed at his arm.

“Do you know what these are?”

“Not at all,” his voice was soft. “What are they?”

“Chrysanthemums!” you said. “They need to be given enough time and space to bloom and there are so many requirements, like you cannot keep them in too hot or too cold climates, but especially too cold. They die otherwise.”

“Really?”

“Mm hm,” you said. “And you can also eat them—well, make tea with them. It’s quite lovely, good for headaches and such.”

“I didn’t know that.”

“I did,” you said, shooting him a proud smile and reached out to touch one of the flowers. “I miss it a lot.”

“Miss what?”

“Gardening,” you murmured, “It’s quite difficult not to. I didn’t even step a foot in the greenhouse ever since I moved here.”

“Why don’t you…?” he trailed off and stole a look at the flowers before turning to you. “Why don’t you do it then?”

“Because I will start to like it.”

“Good?”

“No it’s not,” you shook your head. “Because then it would be sad when you decided to take it away from me.”

He blinked a couple of times. “What?”

You reached out to pull at a small yellow leaf, hooking your fingernail between the leaf and the stem until you nipped it and withdrew your hand to look down at it.

“Y/N I would…I would never,” he said, making you look up from the leaf.

“Hm?”

“I would never take anything away from you,” he rasped out, his eyes locked in yours and you bit inside your cheek, ripping a piece of grass off the ground.

“Maybe not at this second,” you murmured, wrapping the piece of grass around your pointer finger and he shook his head.

“Not ever. I just—” he paused for a moment. “I just want you to be happy. Is that so hard to believe?”

You shrugged your shoulders, still playing with the grass.

“Um…” you trailed off. “Sometimes.”

“Why?”

You shrugged again.

“I don’t know,” you admitted and then raised your glances to look up at him. “But if it makes you feel any better, I didn’t use to believe it at all. But it’s sometimes now.”

A gentle smile curled his lips. “Is that a good sign?”

“It’s a sign I think,” you muttered as you laid on your back to fix your gaze on the glimmering stars. “I don’t know if it’s good or bad yet.”

Benedict’s smile widened and he nodded.

“I’ll take it,” he said, still keeping his eyes on you while you pointed at the sky, closing an eye so that you could see better through the blurriness which was yet another result of you having drunk too much.

“Benedict?”

“Yes my love?”

You were way too distracted to even notice the term of endearment slipping out even if you two were alone now.

“Look, it’s Andromeda!” you said, still pointing at the sky and he looked up, then turned to you.

“You remember that?”

You pulled your brows together, following the stars with your finger.

“I always pay attention to the things you say,” you admitted, dropping your hand to hide your yawn. “Even when you don’t think I do.”

A soft light appeared in his gaze and you heaved a sigh, closing your eyes.

“I’ll just sleep for five minutes here and then we can go back inside,” you murmured, your voice already drowsy and you heard Benedict standing up, then felt yourself being lifted up into his arms.

Even if you wanted to say you could walk, you were too sleepy and his arms were way too comfortable so you buried your face into his hard chest, enjoying his pleasant scent while he carried you inside, a soft sigh leaving your lips.

Then, sleep pulled you into its cozy warmth.

Chapter 21

#benedict bridgerton #benedict bridgerton x reader #bridgerton #bridgerton x reader #regency fic

[glittter-vamp]

22 - Thong Song please and thank you 🙏 😂

Here you all go! I did my best to make it funny yet a bit scandalous lol

Based on the song Thong Song By Sisqo

Warnings: 18+ ONLY.MDNI! Sexual themes. Might or might not count as smut. Joe X Reader.

Word Count:1,829

"What do you think? These or these?" You ask your best friend as you hold up two different thongs. "Um...those aren't that cute." She says looking at your weird. "They're not for me." You say looking at the yellow thong. "Did I miss something and you dumped Joe for a girl?" She asks and you laugh. "These are for him." You say and she freezes. "Come again?" She asks. "He lost a bet." You say and she starts laughing. "On what!?" She asks. "We bet on some basketball game and his team lost." You say grabbing the yellow thong and leaving the red one you had also grabbed. "And what exactly is the punishment other than him having to wear that." she chuckles as you two head to the cashier in this lingerie store. "He has to wear it to a work party we're going to tomorrow night." Your smirk. "Oof, sucks to be him." She laughs. You two leave the mall and go your separate ways. You head over to your home that you shared with Joe, tired from the long shopping day you had with your best friend. 

Getting out of the car and grabbing all the shopping bags you make your way inside where you're instantly met with Joe fighting with someone. He was definitely playing one of his video games again. Deciding to leave him alone you make your way upstairs. You drop the bags on the bench that you had at the end of the bed and started putting stuff away. You bought way more than you had thought. "So you're just gonna come home and not say hello?" You hear Joe say as you hang up a new dress in the closet. "You seemed busy cussing someone out." You chuckle as he wraps his arms around you and gives you a kiss on your shoulder. "Ja'Marr made us lose the game again." He says making you laugh. "Nothing new I see." You say turning around and giving him a kiss. "Did you eat?" He asks. "We had lunch but I'm sure I'll get hungry again later." You say as Joe let's go of you and you walk back to the bags. "I'm surprised to see these many bags, I didn't get any notifications on my account the whole day." Joe says and you sigh. "How many times do I have to tell you that I can pay for things myself." You say grabbing another bag. "and that's cool but you do a lot of things for me, it'd make me feel better if you would treat yourself on my dime." Joe says. "You already pay for everything in this house Joseph, I can buy my own clothing and accessories." You chuckle shaking your head. 

"What's in here?" Joe smirks grabbing the bag from the lingerie boutique you had went earlier. "For you." You smirk. "Oh?" Joe smirks back but little did he know they were actually for him. He pulls out the yellow thong and he looks at them. "Not really your style but I'm sure they're going to look great on you." Joe says and you snort. "Someone I guess forgot about our bet the other day." You cross your arms smirking. Joe looks at you weird and then he freezes. "You were serious about that?" He asks. "Uh, yeah! Tomorrow is the perfect night to wear them too." You wink. "At your work party?! No way, nope." Absolutely not Joe says putting them back in the bag. "Hm... then I guess I can invite Sebastian instead." You shrug walking to put the skincare you had bought away in the bathroom. "Woah, Woah...Who said anything about taking your stupid coworker. Stop talking nonsense." Joe scoffs following you into the bathroom. "Then, keep your side of the bet!" You say and he sighs. "You're not going to let this go are you?" He asks. "Nope!" You smile at him through the mirror. 

*********************************

"Are you ready? We have to go in 5 minutes to get there on time" You say slipping your heels on. It was the evening of the party and you were about ready to go. "I'm actually not feeling too well, kind of have a headache maybe you should go without me." Joe says from the bathroom and you chuckle. "Nice try Burrow, let's go." You say grabbing your clutch. The bathroom door slowly opens and Joe comes out with an uncomfortable face making you smile. "You look nice...turn around." You say and he sighs in defeat turning around and you feast your eyes on his perfect ass in his slacks. "You should of done this a long time ago, you're has has never looked better." You smirk giving his plump cheeks a nice smack. "Do not do that!" Joe say turning around immediately. "Why not? You do it to me all the time. Hope you have an icepack in the freezer because that ass is going to be sore tonight." You wink at him before making your way out the bed room. "What does that even mean? I don't like the sound of that at all." Joe says following you. 

You two make your way to the car and you decide to drive. As you drove Joe kept moving around in his seat and adjusting himself. "Babe, you're kind of distracting me here." You say stopping at a red light. "Well sorry! But my balls are quite literally hanging out and this shit is riding up a little too much in the back." He says making you laugh. "Welcome to my world." You smile. "Can't believe I'm doing this." He says clearly irritated at the situation. "You lost fair and square, you'll be alright." You smirk and you could feel him giving you a dirty look beside you.

***********************

It was later in the night now and you were mingling around talking to some coworkers at this party. It was retirement party for one of our supervisor and you were actually having a good time. Joe on the other hand...not so much. He kept leaving to the bathroom to readjust himself and he now believes that my coworkers assume he has the runs. "I'll be back." You tell your coworkers heading over to Joe who was getting a drink at the bar. "Hey there sweet cheeks."  You say to Joe grabbing a butt cheek which made him jump. "Don't do that, you work with these people." Joe mutters giving you a look. "Chill out grandpa, no one is even around or paying attention." You laugh. "Are you ready to leave yet? Between this bet and your co-workers thinking I have to poop every 10 minutes because of it. I think I did my time" He says as the bartender comes over with a water bottle for him. "Hmm...I think you've suffered enough." You say. You say your goodbyes to everyone and make your way home. This time Joe drove home and as he was driving an idea pops into your head. You had music playing from your phone and decided to queue a certain song. As you two drove in silence and the song you chose started playing, a smile played on your face. Joe quickly looks over to you hearing the familiar violin playing. "Here we go." He rolls his eyes making you laugh.

"He had dumps like a truck, truck, truck. Thighs like, what, what, what. Baby move your butt, butt, butt." You sang. "Can you please not!" Joe says trying not to laugh but you continue to sing anyway. "Let me see that thong, baby! That Th-thong, thong, thong! I like when that beat go, I like when that booty go!" You sing as if your life depended on it. "That's enough!" A very red Joe says turning off the radio. "You're such a party pooper! Boooo!" You say rolling your eyes. "I'm never ever doing this again." Joe shakes his head as he pulls into your neighborhood. "Never say never Joseph." You chuckle. He pulls up to the house and parks in the garage and he makes a straight bee line the bedroom and you follow him. Joe makes an abrupt stop right before entering the room which causes you to bump into his hard back. "Where do you think you're going?" He asks and you laugh. "You think you're going to wear a thong and I'm not going to at least see it on you?" You scoff. "That wasn't part of the bet, so...that's exactly what's going to happen" He says turning around and going into the room. "Okay, that's fine." You say and he eyes you suspiciously as you start to take your jewelry off and change. "What's your game here?" Joe asks not convinced that you would just let it go like that. "No game but now that I think of it it's been how long since we've had sex due to our schedules?" You ask Joe and he looks at you with an unamused face. "3 weeks." He mutters. "I was reading that for athletes it does them pretty good to refrain from sex when partaking in their sport...the season is coming up maybe it will do some good if you just only focused on football until February." You shrug. 

"You're threatening no sex because I won't let you see me in this stupid thing?" Joe asks. "I'm doing no such thing, I'm just thinking of you and ways to help you this season." You say grabbing your pajamas and going to the bathroom to wash your face and change. As you changed the bathroom door opens and Joe enters. "Some privacy please?" You say but he ignores you and walks on over to you. "If...I let you see me in this stupid thing. Promise me you won't go to your friends about it." Joe says and you smile. "Promise." You bite your lip. Joe gives you a nervous look before he undoes his pants an drops them. He couldn't even look you in the eye. You smile seeing the yellow thin piece of fabric fail miserably at covering his bits. "Now turn..." You smirk and he sighs before turning around and seeing just how his two perfect round cheeks just swallow the thong. "This is the best day of my life." You giggle and Joe turns his head gives you an annoyed look. "Okay, that's eno- woah woah...the night is just getting started. Give me a minute and I'll meet you on the bed." You smirk inching closer to him. "There's no way this is turning you on right now." Joe says and your hand slowly makes its way to one of his cheeks making him turn red. "Just do what I say Burrow." You say giving him a sweet kiss before snapping the thong on his ass cheek like he's done to you plenty of times, which made him flinch and whimper. This was going to be so fun, you thought to yourself.

#joe burrow fanfiction #joe burrow fic #joe burrow smut #song prompt #joe burrow x reader #joe burrow imagine

[storiesbyjes2g]

3.40 Chin up

The next day had to be the most confusing and upsetting day I ever experienced. It started out nicely with a good breakfast and conversation with Dad. I told him about my impromptu date the night before, and of course he wanted to know how I felt about it. I enjoyed being able to talk to someone about these things without judgment or pushing their agenda on me. Every day, Dad became more and more like my best friend. After breakfast, I got ready for work and gave myself an extra positive pep talk. Little did I know how much I'd need it.

When I arrived at the spa to start my class, one was already in session. And guess who was the instructor. The rude girl from the other day!

I stood in the doorway, watching for a few minutes, shocked and confused about what I had witnessed. The old geezer finally retired, and I should have been next in line. Were they just gassing me up? If I wasn't up to their standards, they could have just told me! I knew I wasn't the best and had room for improvement. I didn't go to school and study wellness. Everything I did, I copied from SimTube and tried to put my spin on it. Why not just give me pointers or tell me I wasn't what they were looking for instead of hiring someone behind my back? And to find out this way? They could have given me a heads up or something. I felt like a failure, even though part of me knew it wasn't really my fault. I was the best I could be at the moment and gave it my all. There wasn't much else I could have done differently. This craft was a journey with no destination, and there was no "best" to ascribe to. We ascribed to be better than we were yesterday. The spa was just not managed well, and I got caught up in their mess. I knew that, but it still hurt.

At least I still had guided meditations: the thing no one seemed to want to own. There was less money and interest in it, though I usually had better turn outs than my yoga classes. But it was still a paying gig I could do until I figured out how to host my own classes in the evenings. Speaking of, the forecast was finally in my favor, and I had a class advertised for that evening at the rec center.

As if I needed someone else to kick me while I was down, I only had one participant that day, and he outright told me I had no business teaching that class. I already knew that, but I didn't need someone confirming it. Not that day. To add insult to injury, I received an intriguing yet confusing offer from Yasmine.

She called just as my hater left, and I answered, hoping she'd cheer me up. I suppose I should have been flattered, but that was not my first feeling. She wanted to follow up on our conversation about non-exclusive relationships and asked if that's something I'd like to explore with her. I don't know how long I left dead air on the phone, but at some point I realized she was saying hello and calling my name over and over.

"I'm here," I said.

Everything inside warned me to say no to this. A relationship of that type was the complete opposite of what I wanted, and I didn't want to be in a formal relationship at the moment, anyway. Still, I had to understand exactly what she asked of me.

"What would that mean? I mean...what does a non-exclusive relationship look like?"

A huge sigh assaulted my ears. She came to me with that nonsense, but she was annoyed?

"It means we'll be official, but we can keep dating other people. No strings, no jealousy."

She wanted me to be okay with my girlfriend flirting with other men and Watcher knows what else? I felt like someone played a sick joke on me. There was no way I'd agree to anything like that.

"If I decline, what does that mean for us? You won't want to hang with me anymore?"

"We can still kick it."

"If I accept, will there ever be a point where you'd agree to be exclusive?"

There was that sigh again.

"I mean...I don't know. Maybe. I guess it would depend on how I feel about you at the time."

I couldn't help but shake my head at the phone.

"I'm sorry, Yasmine. This isn't at all what I want. No disrespect to you, but I'm gonna have to decline."

"Alright."

"I have another class to get ready for. I'll talk to you soon, okay?"

"Later."

That was a half-truth. My class didn't start for another few hours, and my head was spinning. The spa had a hot spring in the basement, so I went down there to mellow and sort out my feelings.

I couldn't get Yasmine's offer out of my head. It was utterly ridiculous, and I would never put myself in a situation to be cheated on repeatedly, even though it wouldn't technically be cheating. But there was a small part of me that wouldn't completely reject the idea. That was probably the same part of me that was horny all the time, if I was honest. That day she sashayed into class in that super tight outfit and claimed the yoga mat in front of me, a hunger unleashed in me I'd never experienced. I kept it together most days, but at night, salacious dreams tormented me. Dreams about all of them. I was reaching the point where I might crack, and who knew how reckless I'd be trying to feed the beast. Maybe this ridiculousness with Yasmine could be the answer. But why did it have to be a relationship? Couldn't we just be friends who woohoo? She'd probably be down for that. A relationship was far too serious for us. I wanted to enter an official relationship with someone I could see myself marrying one day. Like Sophia! And maybe even Maira. If I'm honest, I didn't really see that with Yasmine. But it could also be because I didn't know her well enough yet. I shouldn't write her off completely for that. Everyone deserved a fair chance, and I wanted to give them that, so when I felt like it was time to choose, I'd be confident in my decision. But there was something to be said about gut feelings, and my gut said this was not it.

#ISBI challenge #sims 4 story #sims 4 gameplay #adolting #adolting gen 3 #luca winston murillo

[cheiyunn]

Kimisute main story [０部 ] Part 4

Side:EpsilonΦ

Tadaomi: (Sometimes it's best to reread my observation diary. There may be new discoveries at bay)

Tadaomi: (Starting first with… EpsilonΦ)

Tadaomi: (EpsilonΦ’s vocalist, Ujigawa Shu. 2nd year of middle school.)

Tadaomi: (Because he keeps thinking about his father, Shu-kun must really love him)

Tadaomi: (Thanks to his help, I’ve been able to see many different facets of emotions in others. I look forward to the future)

Tadaomi: (EpsilonΦ’s drummer, Karasuma Reiji. He’s the same as me, a 1st year in university)

Tadaomi: (Originally known as Fushimi Reiji-kun, because of his family business going bankrupt, he was adopted by a distant relative of his)

Tadaomi: (The perpetrator, Duck River’s president… In order to get his revenge on Shu-kun father, he stays by his side)

Tadaomi: (Well, it was me who told him the reason for bankruptcy. But in order to fulfill his goal, I wonder what emotions he’ll show me…)

Tadaomi: (But recently, his sentiment towards Shu-kun has slightly changed… I wonder what happened between the two)

Tadaomi: (EpsilonΦ’s guitar and vocal, Nijo Haruka. And the bass, Haruka’s younger twin brother, Nijo Kanata. )

Tadaomi: (These two are just so very interesting)

Tadaomi: (Whenever Haruka-kun is pestered by his younger brother Kanata-kun, he always displays an array of wonderful expressions)

Tadaomi: (It's the kind of expression normal people make when they feel distaste towards something. I believe they call this a ‘bitter expression’)

Tadaomi: (Whenever Haruka-kun makes that expression, Kanata-kun smiles with glee)

Tadaomi: (If I recall correctly, Shu-kun said 「Whenever you’re treated like a wicked curse by Haruka, you laugh wholehearted huh~」)

Tadaomi: (And Kanata-kun replied 「Being treated like a wicked curse by him makes me so~ happy」. Fufu, they get along so well)

Tadaomi: (Its so fun to observe the relationship between these twins. From now and so forth I do hope they show me even more expressions~)

Tadaomi: (Shu-kun, Reiji-kun, Haruka-kun, Kanata-kun… and also the other bands’ members who appeared in the LRfes…)

Tadaomi: (Do show me more of your many emotions)

.

[Sharehouse]

Reiji: …oh, there’s only Tadaomi here?

Tadaomi: Reiji-kun welcome back. Is Shu-kun not with you?

Reiji: No, I came back immediately 

Tadaomi: Is that so. Good work then

.

[Door opens]

Shu: I’m back. What's this, there’s only Tadaomi here?

Tadaomi: Haruka-kun went out to eat ramen. Kanata-kun chased after him

Tadaomi: I think the should be coming back soon?

Shu: Oh dear me, as always they get along perfectly

Shu: What were you doing alone in the living room?

Tadaomi: I was collecting all my thoughts into my notes. So when you ask me something in regards to lyrics I’m able to respond

Shu: Hm~ You’re all diligent huh~

Shu: I was just thinking about asking for your lyrics again, so perfect timing if I say so

Tadaomi: So that means, a new song?

Reiji: We haven’t set it in stone but we’ve been discussing starting production our next single

Tadaomi: Is that so. If I can help, then I’d like to

Reiji: …that wasn’t expected. I didn’t think you’d ever suggest that

Tadaomi: When I had tried it myself, I felt like I could feel Shu-kun’s emotions being conveyed through the lyrics he wrote

Shu: What nonsense are you spouting

Tadaomi: I had thought that you were ‘really amazing~’ and I learned alot from your example. So if I ever got the chance I would

Shu: Is that so? Well if I feel like it I’ll come around to you then

Tadaomi: Then it's a pleasure

.

[Door opens]

Haruka: Cut it out you little shit!

Kanata: Eh~ I don’t think it was that bad though~

Reiji: Can you two… ever quietly come in or not

Kanata: I’m normal as always right~? Go ask that question to my brother instead–

Haruka: Well if you weren’t always instigating some shit with me, I wouldn’t be raising my voice either!

Shu: Ha…. could you not show off your brotherly closeness so much here?

Shu: Or maybe… did you practice so much your ears went kaput?

Shu: If thats the case, It seems like our next meeting will be fun. I’m looking forward to it okay~? Haruka, and Kanata.

Haruka: …tch!

Kanata: If he’s retreating to his room then I’m retreating to~

Reiji: Kanata, don’t forget that you’re on trash bag collection duty. Even if we have a housekeeper over, at the very least do that.

Kanata: I know–.  I should get bro to help me out with that then~

.

--[Kanata goes to his room]--

--[Reiji’s phone rings]--

.

Reiji: …hm? A call… Shu, pardon me for a moment

.

--[Reiji walks away]--

Tadaomi: Are you not returning to your room?

Shu: If you’re saying that then touche

Tadaomi: For me, I like staying here if it means watching everyone

Tadaomi: (And if I stay in my room, I’ll end up missing out on everyone’s statuses…)

Tadaomi: (In order to see everyone’s intense emotions swerve violently, I do hope that something wonderful will occur)

Tadaomi: (Since recently Shu-kun has been more calm… he’s become just a tad boring)

#fromargonavis #epsilon phi

[incarnateirony]

From the article you posted it’s a relief to know the unions are aware of the smokescreen the studios are putting out right now. While I can see the unions striking the rest of the year do you think the studios can hold out not making a deal for that long?

For those who haven't read the article, they're talking about this part, which... I've been talking about myself or a while before this,

Honestly the last chunk sums up my thoughts. Even with the inside feelers I have with some studios, I can look at the paperwork and numbers. I can tell you what they SHOULD be doing. They have not been doing that, so far, so I'm saying the same thing Wall Street has been. They truly thought they could scrooge out of this and they've scrooged themselves into a corner that's about to cripple them for years and it looks like they're still trying to double down on scrooging. It's truly just fantastically bad business, assuming their inethical model to yield mass profits would work regardless of reality or conditions.

I do know that if by end of August there's no resolution--which I really don't think there will be--Zaslav at least is gonna panic. The others are trying to echo his tactics late so they might be a month or two behind on the panic themselves. This is also why What Aren't You Watching was geared for September. (And please, goddamn muggles everywhere, do not Well Actually be about this shit, your lack of understanding of legal limits on union official action or the back workings are not something I want to go back over with 100 randos making excuse to keep streaming every time I make an offhanded mention.)

Streamers are already bleeding subscriptions, and the subscriptions are one of their main income flows, so if people turned off demand and cancelled their shit their bottom line goes in the hole in the last month of the quarter, and completely derails their growth. It's a fantasy dream to imagine all shows can be supported/ordered through while simultaneously hurting the studios enough to give the community leverage, the only leverage in continued viewing is larger more famous names being able to leverage-out smaller shows and creatives with lower demand in the crunching market, and it's shooting yourselves in the foot to try to keep their bottom lines up for fear of limited budget to order things, when pre-strike they were reducing orders anyway, and the point is to hurt their bottom line, but the internet decides to kick motherfuckin water uphill.

So. Hard to say. the content addict gremlins of tumblr needing to shoot gifs into their veins are a perfect example of what's enabled this behavior by consumerism, much less their aggressive refusal to understand why WGA won't announce streamer boycott officially on main rather than as an individual to avoid the fuckin lawsuit fallout blowing up their entire thing. It would be a suicide bomb decision to try to end it, when WGA-E guy retires and the guy running on the What Arent You Watching election platform takes over, and would turn it into a pile of endless litigation instead. Which is a viable tactic but only at the right time. So.

Zaslav projections to recover are based on a september return to work date. If not only is the strike still going, but people start bulk closing their services, their Q3 is going to go catastrophically in the toilet, almost beyond repair. Things that will take them literal years to recover from. WGA is playing chess here on a legal/business level and fandom is trying to argue about how to play checkers.

But, like myself and wall street say, just because obviously this is a stupid as shit nonsense pattern of behavior doesn't mean they're going to stop making bad decisions.

Honestly let it burn. We'll make our own.

Personally I think Amazon and Apple are kind of filibustering it for everyone else in AMPTP at this point, like some company union making bad decisions in comparison with two heavyweights leading a charge that will benefit them to collapse older studios, and now the older studios are realizing they're getting fucked but their deals have to fly by Apple and Amazon. Pre-strike Zaslav as the first one to admit Apple and Amazon and the tech giants would eat them if they didn't change how a lot of shit works, so I'm thinking he's gonna be one of the first cracking regardless of his Let Them Starve quote before.

[whimsicaldragonette]

ARC Review: We Could Be So Good by Cat Sebastian

Preorder

Add to Goodreads

Publication Date: June 6, 2023

Synopsis:

[I have opted to remove the comps listed on Goodreads because they are nonsense.]

Nick Russo has worked his way from a rough Brooklyn neighborhood to a reporting job at one of the city's biggest newspapers. But the late 1950s are a hostile time for gay men, and Nick knows that he can't let anyone into his life. He just never counted on meeting someone as impossible to say no to as Andy. Andy Fleming's newspaper-tycoon father wants him to take over the family business. Andy, though, has no intention of running the paper. He's barely able to run his life--he's never paid a bill on time, routinely gets lost on the way to work, and would rather gouge out his own eyes than deal with office politics. Andy agrees to work for a year in the newsroom, knowing he'll make an ass of himself and hate every second of it. Except, Nick Russo keeps rescuing Andy: showing him the ropes, tracking down his keys, freeing his tie when it gets stuck in the ancient filing cabinets. Their unlikely friendship soon sharpens into feelings they can't deny. But what feels possible in secret--this fragile, tender thing between them--seems doomed in the light of day. Now Nick and Andy have to decide if, for the first time, they're willing to fight.

My Rating: ★★★★★

A few months ago he told himself that his choices—that any queer person’s choices—were either to hide or brazen it out, and that’s still true. But there’s another possibility: pushing back against the injustices that force people to make impossible choices.

*My Review and Favorite Quotes below the cut.

My Review:

I read this book in one sitting - while I was supposed to be reading an entirely different book. I picked it up meaning to read a chapter or two while I ate lunch -- because it's easier to read on a kindle than a paperback while eating -- and the next thing I knew I was turning the last page. I can't remember the last time I did that. I knew I would love it from the beginning; that was a given - it's a Cat Sebastian book. But I wasn't prepared for how much I would love it, or for how many feelings it gave me. This book is devastating in its quiet queer joy and relentless hope while living in the face of prejudice and hate. It's about a queer couple in the newspaper publishing world of New York City of the 1950s. It's about the slow realization of feelings, and the inevitable and infinitesimal merging of lives, and the way you can breathe easier when you have a community of people like you who understand you and know you. It's about the comfort and happiness to be found in the little things in life. And it's so soft and domestic, even with the uncertainty and the lies and the hiding. Which takes skill. I teared up several times, enough that it made it difficult to keep reading. I *felt* the truth in this story viscerally. Times may have changed (somewhat) but I could still understand the hesitance and the fear and defiant joy that make up a queer existence. In some ways it was starkly different than Cat Sebastian's other books, and yet in other ways it felt familiar. She straddled the line between quiet joy and simmering rage at the realities of queer life. It was intense and healing and beautiful. I didn't want it to end. I was bracing myself for tragedy as the book progressed, and I'm so glad that isn't the sort of story Cat Sebastian is telling here. That instead she is telling a story of people who just want to live their lives, and who find the courage in themselves to do so despite the fear and threats. Like Nick, I was dreading reading about another queer tragedy. The characters were beautifully drawn and felt so real. I came to care about them so much and feel like they were my friends. It was masterfully done. The setting also felt incredibly, painfully real. It was 100% believable. *Thanks to NetGalley and Avon for providing an early copy for review.

Favorite Quotes:

Nick has spent years making sure that when people look at him, they don’t see anything that sticks out like a sore thumb—they don’t see anything at all, they hardly even see a person, just a man in a suit.

---

Andy gives him this flat, disappointed look that Nick recognizes because Nick invented it and now he’s going to have to sue Andy for copyright infringement.

---

“Back in his day they didn’t have Band-Aids,” Nick continues. “They just slapped mud on their wounds and went back to drawing the news on the walls of their caves.” “I can still hear you,” Jorgensen says. “It’s nice when the elderly keep their hearing,” Andy observes.

---

“It’s the creme de menthe,” Nick says, eying the green liquid distastefully. “It’s like drinking toothpaste, if toothpaste got ideas above its station.”

---

“A heart doctor, though,” he says in a tone that suggests that getting jilted in favor of cardiologists is all anyone can expect. That maybe Andy should have considered medical school if he didn’t want to get jilted. That Emily did what she had to do, because who could turn down a heart doctor?

---

“I was going to make minestrone soup,” Nick says. “You like soup.” “I do like soup,” Andy agrees. “I take it that’s an invitation, not you taunting me with soup I don’t get to eat.”

---

He feels as if he’s been turned inside out, as if he just learned that a part of his heart is on the outside of his body, in the possession of somebody else entirely.

---

But somehow, a journalist being hurt because he’s on to a dangerous story seems less traumatic than someone being attacked for living his life.

---

Andy worries that it’s his lot in life to be mocked by elderly Italian women.

---

Andy isn’t expecting an epiphany at eight on a Monday morning when he’s still mostly asleep, when his first cup of coffee is still hot in his hand. Honestly, Andy isn’t expecting an epiphany ever.

---

A couple times a year, Nick finds a tale of gay misery and woe on his desk, because apparently Bailey has taken it upon himself to be Nick’s personal sad gay librarian.

----

“You have shitty taste in books. Would it kill you to read something that isn’t totally dismal?” “I’m paid for my taste in books,” Bailey says easily. “And I don’t mind dismal things. I’m trying to be your friend, aren’t I?”

---

Families might usually be bonded by blood, but maybe sometimes they’re bonded by shared secrets, by a delicate mixture of caution and faith, by the conviction that hiding together is better in every way than hiding alone.

---

That might be what turns the tide and makes Nick enjoy the book, at least a little. These men are finding time and energy to flirt and have queer parties and get jealous and fall in love despite bombs and injuries and death. That feels like the truest thing he’s ever read.

---

“Yes, well. I figured, you see.” He stops, looking suddenly at a loss. “People in New York have hearts, too, don’t they?” And Emily must really love him if she’s susceptible to a line like that.

----

A few months ago he told himself that his choices—that any queer person’s choices—were either to hide or brazen it out, and that’s still true. But there’s another possibility: pushing back against the injustices that force people to make impossible choices.

#cat sebastian #we could be so good #queer romance #queer historical romance #queer books #romance #historical romance #lgbt+ #shilo reads #arc review #netgalley #best books of 2023 #favorites #oh my god they were roommates #friends to lovers #grumpy x sunshine #soft domesticity #disaster bi

[onewomancitadel]

What's interesting is when I discover implicit assumptions that I don't have despite how long I've lurked the R/WBY fandom. I actually never knew, say, about the theory that Jaune was intended as a vessel for Ozma, and that Ozpin let Jaune in on the assumption he could - keep an eye on him? I didn't know that this motivated a lot of upset surrounding Jaune's character as well as similarly Oscar's, because well, once you look at it, Oscar getting both the reincarnation curse and Ruby as a love interest would probably upset that crowd. Of course I also think it's completely nonsensical and it is not something I ever would've remotely considered. There's foreshadowing for Ozma's reincarnation not being Jaune in Beacon era, anyway.

Jaune's a much more interesting because he's not Ozpin's reincarnation vessel. He is like the worst person to be that because he doesn't like Ozpin and he doesn't like Qrow and actually he kind of thinks some of this whole thing might be bullshit. You absolutely do not get the same effect of the cynic without it. The funniest thing is that Ozpin probably let Jaune in on a joke and then that had monumental consequences. But Jaune is also like, right in the middle of an Ozlem conflict of his own that Ozma would only complicated because he would firmly keep it in the 'enemies' territory. It could never heal or progress 'to-lovers'. He would get in the way of the emotional development in a way that he doesn't for Ruby and Oscar - Ruby and Oscar meet because of the reincarnation. Cinder and Ozpin are effectively Cupids. Cinder's even got a bow, hey.

So Jaune/Cinder have to both be in a position where they can work back from enemies in a way where Ozma himself currently couldn't. Because that relationship is effectively the precipitator and blueprint for the final Ozlem resolution, hence its endgame nature if it eventuates. It is also a metaphorical representation of Ozlem that you're meant to look for when there's a literal version of Ozma's reincarnation and Salem's deathlessness.

But to circle back to the point: I didn't know! Relatedly, I tend to forget that a lot of people are focussed on Beacon and that not everybody is going to be 'Pyrrha makes Jaune/Cinder impossible, therefore it can never happen' because a similar resolution might be 'so write it during Beacon instead'. It is interesting! Even when I hate it most of the time.

I'm not always working with the perfect context though, like when I stomped on Pyre theory in Knightfall fandom and then similarly when I had no idea Pyre theory was also popular with Jaune/Pyrrha shippers (as I found out last night) with no Cinder participation involved. Cannot imagine how it squares out that both Jaune/Cinder and Jaune/Pyrrha shippers bought into the theory or apparently still buy into it? That's just sad. I feel like if it were a better theory, one or the other conclusion would be more or less obvious. The set-up with Oscar and Ruby is very clear, because Ozma is supernatural and has his own business with Salem to solve, and also it was completely and naturally flagged and foreshadowed and easy to intuit. It wasn't based on scant speculation and twisting the text.

I guess there's an irony for me - and I might be repeating myself here - that I tend to textual reason which is straightforward and clear. Storytelling is communicative. The symbolism and the tone and the narrative itself should all be working together. The wheel imagery (of saṃsāra) associated with Ozpin was clear reincarnation foreshadowing when read in respect with the rest of his character. It wasn't a leap.

#stirring the pot #anti pyre theory #reverse ozlem

[nehswritesstuffs]

PARAMILITARY SCIENCE - s03e02

Sometimes I have to remind myself that I didn’t attend college for nothing orz

3026 words; not a stellar example of a professional screenplay, but that’s because I’ve purposely left in a lot of direction-based nonsense, making this more like a script written by the director instead of a separate person passing it off to a director; I think the actually-closest thing I can get to describing this is Doctor Who meets Wellington Paranormal meets Parks and Recreation and what a weird cocktail that is; do not expect this to be the only one of these, and that’s a Rock Fact; I’ve put some of my own fanon from The Thick of UNIT into here, but it’s not anything to tie into it nor does it impact much; it says s03e02 because that’s where I just felt this particular piece fit

It can also be found on AO3 with truer-to-style formatting: [here].

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

PARAMILITARY SCIENCE

s03e02

“MASTERS”

SHOOTING SCRIPT - GREEN

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

INT. TEMPORARY MAINFRAME UK – DAY

The camera peeks inside the slightly-opened blinds of THE BRIGADIER’s office from the corridor. He appears highly engrossed in his work, sitting at his desk, on the phone, taking notes, eating biscuits.

THE BRIGADIER (O.S.) Rough work, this. We really don’t get a lot of credit for what we do.

CUT TO: CLOSEUP OF THE BRIGADIER

THE BRIGADIER cont’d We here at UNIT are rather busy cleaning up messes that the world shouldn’t know about. With the leaps and bounds we’re currently making in modern science, it’s only a matter of time before we are the new kids on the intergalactic block.

CUT TO: SCENE – tea arrives. Through the blinds, we see THE BRIGADIER thank the tea lady and drinks some, staring at her behind as she leaves.

THE BRIGADIER (O.S.) cont’d The thing that we do, which is absolutely critical, is make sure that the Earth doesn’t look like it’s settled by a bunch of bumpkins and arse-pickers, which admittedly we are, but that’s why we have our—

CUT TO: CLOSEUP OF THE BRIGADIER

THE BRIGADIER cont’d —headquarters slated for London, which is still a Jewel whether there’s an Empire or not. In the meantime we’re set up in the Home Counties, making do with what we can while more permanent preparations are being made. Just have to keep telling ourselves it could always be worse.

A pause.

THE BRIGADIER cont’d Could have been Leeds.

INT. CORRIDOR – DAY

BENTON and YATES are standing by the watercooler, chatting idly. Jo GRANT walks by with an armful of papers. Upon seeing her, YATES panics, tossing his empty cup and walking quickly to catch up.

YATES Miss Grant? Can I, erm, have a word?

They stop.

GRANT I’m sorry, but I really need to get these papers over to the Doctor. They’re readouts for the experiment he’s doing.

YATES The one with the photons or the one with the amino acid ionization?

GRANT stares at him.

GRANT You make it sound like I can make heads or tails of it.

YATES Well, you are his assistant.

She shrugs, uncomfortable, eyes flicking towards the camera.

CUT TO: CLOSEUP OF GRANT

GRANT It was either sit extra help in A-Levels or attend a three-part workshop on meditative interpretive dance. Guess which one was headed by a shirtless dish?

CUT TO: SCENE

YATES Listen: I just wanted to know if you were doing anything tomorrow night. Thought I’d might ask if you’d accompany me to the pub after work?

GRANT Oh, I’m sorry, but I’ve got to help my mum set up furniture tomorrow. Celebrating my aunt’s birthday.

YATES I can help…

GRANT No!

They both flinch. An out-of-focus BENTON can be seen smacking his forehead in the background.

GRANT cont’d Sorry—I mean, no thank you. I really must be going now. How about coffee later today? During break?

YATES Sure! I’d love…

GRANT scurries away. YATES shakes his head and rubs the back of his neck in frustration and self-pity.

CUT TO: CLOSEUP OF BENTON

BENTON The lad’s bent and the only one who doesn’t know it is him. Well, him and the Brig. Not like it matters, ‘cause I already gave that muppet Hills in Security a good thrashing last month for some less-than-choice words, so now it’s safe for Yates to be himself.

He leans forward. Focus softens slightly.

BENTON cont’d If he’d only get his head out of his bloody arse.

CUT TO: SCENE

BENTON walks up to YATES.

BENTON Come on now—it’s not so bad. You know, that blind date with Nancy’s cousin is still on the table.

YATES I appreciate it, but… (sighs) ...there’s just something about Miss Grant, you know? That maybe if I ask once more, she might go with me?

BENTON Just give it up, man. I don’t think it’s military men she likes.

YATES Yeah, maybe you’re right…

YATES sadly walks off while BENTON, silently mouths the word “BENT” at the camera from behind the safety of his paper water cup.

EXT. TEMPORARY MAINFRAME UK GROUNDS – DAY

Several military men are shoveling out a ditch, having long ago shed their uniform shirts and are now working in vests and bare backs. YATES is overseeing the work; his eyes are continually drawn up from his clipboard and towards the men. He pretends to keep focus as a PRIVATE jogs on up. He, thankfully, is fully-clothed.

PRIVATE (salutes) Sir, Captain Yates, sir!

YATES Yes…?

PRIVATE There’s been a breech in perimeter and you’ve been requested to mediate.

YATES Isn’t that what Security’s for?

The PRIVATE looks nervous.

YATES cont’d Well…?

PRIVATE She claims to be… the Master, sir, and the Doctor’s nowhere to be found.

YATES groans audibly and presses his clipboard into the PRIVATE’s chest.

YATES Take a break, men! We can finish the drainage tomorrow!

The men are visibly relieved. YATES and the PRIVATE begin walking.

YATES cont’d, softer Where’s everyone else?

PRIVATE Engaged, sir.

YATES Let’s get this over with then.

EXT. GUARD GATE – DAY

YATES walks up to where two GUARDS have a WOMAN contained. Well, not so much contained as entirely amused and bored at the same time.

GUARD 1 Ah! There you are, Captain! Can you please tell this bird to fly on back to Glasgow? She’s got no papers, and there’s no admittance without no papers.

YATES Did you really need to call me here for this? If we don’t get that trench dug and covered before the next solid rain, the range will flood again.

GUARD 1 I know, but…

YATES looks at the woman, who is idly popping her chewing gum.

YATES Why do you look like Mary Poppins had a child with Cesare?

WOMAN I’m hurt you’d even think that, Yatesy. I just want a wee peek at the Doctor’s TARDIS. Can’t you let an old friend play mechanic for a bit? He’s been grouchy while stuck here, hasn’t he?

YATES looks at the camera, completely unamused, before looking at the WOMAN, expression flat.

YATES What in God’s name did you do, Master, to get yourself a pair of knockers and a Scots accent?

WOMAN I was overdue for a makeover.

She winks flirtatiously; the men all visibly cringe.

YATES Listen: I suggest you pop off and find the Doctor elsewhere, yeah? I think he’s wandering about in that car of his.

WOMAN That is boring.

YATES His instructions are clear: you aren’t allowed inside the perimeter unless he gives explicit instructions to let you in. And we’ve got none of that. Now pop off. You can bother us later, maybe when you’ve got a beard again.

WOMAN Oh, Yatesy, I am the Beard.

She twirls her closed parasol as she turns and walks back out of the compound. A few steps and she turns, a grin on her face.

WOMAN See you soon, love.

She bends her knees in a jaunty curtsey and dematerializes. The GUARDS look astonished, while YATES is ready to scream.

GUARD 2 Just like on the telly…! Now that’s smarts!

Camera zooms in on YATES’s face. He is still not amused.

INT. GARAGE – DAY

We see various mechanical and scientific projects strewn about, all in some form of half-completion. A pair of legs is sticking out from underneath an antique car on jacks. Closer inspection reveals that it is the DOCTOR, tinkering underneath the chassis in his shirtsleeves.

THE DOCTOR (O.S.) I really do genuinely enjoy this planet, but I have to say, there are things about it that are rather irksome. It’s always…

CUT TO: CLOSEUP OF THE DOCTOR

THE DOCTOR cont’d …“Geneva this” and “Geneva that”, when really all “Geneva” is, is a lake. Granted, it’s a lake with Silurians at the bottom of it, but still. All I’m doing is just waiting until the Brigadier realizes I’m technically here illegally, just so I can see what his mustache does.

CUT TO: SCENE

GRANT walks in carrying the stack of papers and a fully-laden tea tray. She looks exhausted. Putting her things down, she takes a biscuit from the tray and heads over to the car, holding it low to the floor.

GRANT Teatime, Doctor.

THE DOCTOR I’m busy.

She looks at the camera, smug.

GRANT I brought the ones with your favorite marmalade.

A hand snatches the biscuit and GRANT smiles. She returns to sorting the papers and laying out tea.

CUT TO: CLOSEUP OF GRANT

GRANT I know I’m not here because I’m particularly smart, but I am clever. It takes a clever one to rein the Doctor in. The boots are just an added bonus.

She gestures to her legs. The fabric of her boots are longer than some toddlers are tall.

GRANT cont’d He doesn’t stand a chance.

CUT TO: SCENE

THE DOCTOR is now having tea, having put his jacket back on. He and GRANT are talking quietly when THE BRIGADIER walks in.

THE DOCTOR Ah, to what do we owe this surprise?

THE BRIGADIER Doctor, we currently have a… situation with one of your… fellows and we’d like you to put a stop to it.

THE DOCTOR Can’t you see I’m having my tea? It can wait.

THE BRIGADIER I really don’t think now’s the time to be obstinate.

THE DOCTOR lifts an eyebrow. GRANT hides behind her tea.

THE BRIGADIER cont’d It’s the Master.

THE DOCTOR Then get him some tea and let him wait until I’m done with mine.

THE BRIGADIER leans in, serious.

THE BRIGADIER She has refused tea.

THE DOCTOR puts down his cuppa in a panic and bolts it. GRANT and THE BRIGADIER scramble to catch up.

INT. CORRIDOR – CONTINUOUS

All three are running. GRANT nearly goes the wrong way, but is pulled into focus by THE BRIGADIER. THE DOCTOR has all the finesse of a frog in trousers. They scurry about, not pleased.

THE BRIGADIER (O.S.) One of our most important duties as of late has been keeping track of the Time Lord known as “the Master”.

CUT TO: CLOSEUP OF THE BRIGADIER

THE BRIGADIER cont’d We have plenty of help from his school-time associate, the Doctor, but it’s still a full-time job these days.

CUT TO: SCENE

They’re still running. They’re still a disaster.

THE BRIGADIER (O.S.) cont’d Watching over Time Lords is like watching over a toddler and a cat at the same time…

CUT TO: CLOSE UP THE BRIGADIER

THE BRIGADIER cont’d …just when you think you have it, they surprise you by tag-teaming, making you lose all sense of time, place, and self-worth.

He takes a sip from a flask.

THE BRIGADIER cont’d The gender bit’s new. Would you like some? (shakes flask) Not a drop of alcohol; the Doctor calls it “Red Bull”. The future is really something.

INT. HOLDING ROOM – DAY

BENTON is standing next to the doorway, hands over his chest as he watches THE MASTER with a frown. The other three barrel in, shocked to see the woman sitting at the table.

THE DOCTOR Koschei… is that you…?

THE MASTER Don’t act so shocked, Theta, dear. It’s going to happen to you too.

THE BRIGADIER So then: she’s telling the truth.

THE DOCTOR The Master is a consummate liar, but not about this. Our species… we… uh… (gestures at her) …do this on occasion.

THE BRIGADIER …when you change faces…?

THE MASTER Precisely, pet.

BENTON Then how come we’ve never met one of you that’s a woman before?

THE MASTER It’s rare, but sometimes our leadership is all male-presenting in their regenerations due to a variety of factors. It’s nothing to worry about, since the opposite happens too.

THE BRIGADIER What do you mean “male-presenting”…?

THE MASTER ignores him.

THE MASTER Tell me, Doctor, what say you let me take a good look at your TARDIS and see if there’s anything in there I can help you with. My payment is simple: a dropoff at the old home planet with your spare parts. What do you say?

THE DOCTOR How long has it been since you tried that gag on me?

THE MASTER That all depends on how long ago we agree Jaakonmi Canyon was.

THE DOCTOR gapes wordlessly, his colleagues visibly worried.

CUT TO: CLOSEUP OF THE DOCTOR

THE DOCTOR We did not agree.

CUT TO: SCENE

THE DOCTOR Listen, Master—

THE MASTER Mistress. Missy.

THE DOCTOR looks unfazed.

THE DOCTOR Okay, Missy, first, leave me to figure out my own messes, because I will not give you the satisfaction of lording that over me. Afterwards, go and choose a gender-neutral designation for once because you know how that messes with things.

THE MASTER You’re no fun. You used to be fun.

THE DOCTOR You used to be sane, and then you looked into the Schism.

The camera zooms in momentarily on GRANT and BENTON.

GRANT whispers Are you understanding any of this?

BENTON Not a word.

GRANT Thank you for being the only other normal one here.

THE BRIGADIER Come on now, Master. You heard the Doctor. Pop off.

THE MASTER groans exaggeratedly as she stands

THE MASTER Fine, be that way. I will be back after you remember how to play properly.

THE BRIGADIER You shan’t threaten us like that.

THE MASTER (bored) I really don’t understand what he sees in you lot.

She dematerializes again, vanishing.

THE BRIGADIER Well, that was disturbingly easy.

THE DOCTOR It’s never easy with the Master—you know this is a front to set something up for later.

BENTON Uh… if she could always do that, then why was I guarding her?

A MAN walks in from the corridor while casually eating a pot of yogurt. He is dressed in all black, with a Nehru coat and a goatee.

MAN Guarding who?

Everyone looks at him—it’s THE MASTER. Again. Somehow.

THE BRIGADIER For Christ’s sake, I’m going to have a lie-down.

INT. CORRIDOR BY GARAGE – DAY

We see THE DOCTOR and THE MASTER are shouting at one another through the blinds. GRANT and BENTON are peeking in at the scene, crouched down by the window. The row is muffled.

BENTON Yeah, you don’t get to see that every day. Doctor looks ready to pop a gasket.

GRANT They’re talking so fast I don’t think the translation thing is keeping up.

BENTON stares at her, ready for an explanation.

GRANT Whatever the thing is that makes it so we hear them speaking English. The TARDIS does it—I don’t know how it works.

BENTON Scared me there for a second—I can’t be the only one who gets lost when they start talking scientific gobbledygook.

GRANT You survived without me before.

BENTON Barely.

CUT TO: CLOSEUP OF BENTON

BENTON in the thickest Mancunian accent Our kid’s not that posh and I appreciate that. Little aireh, but when ya closest two ‘uman colleagues both went to public school and the closest non-’uman sounds like ‘e did the same on ‘is planet, a bloke can’t get pickeh for allies in the workplace. M’wife wants to adopt ‘er, but that’s a bit much.

CUT TO: SCENE

BENTON his normal accent Christ, you can tell they’re brothers—the fact it’s not come to blows yet proves it.

YATES walks up.

YATES The fact who haven’t come to blows?

GRANT pulls YATES down to crouch on the other side of her and points inside the garage.

GRANT The Doctor and the Master!

YATES Ooooh, I wonder what they’re having a row over?

INT. GARAGE – CONTINUOUS

THE DOCTOR That was my yogurt! It was plainly labeled!

THE MASTER Maybe, if it wasn’t so plain a label, I would have noticed it!

INT. CORRIDOR – CONTINUOUS

GRANT I think it’s safer that we don’t know.

YATES Then why are we spying on them?

GRANT You know nothing about espionage, really!

YATES As though you know…

BENTON leans back so as to be seen around GRANT.

BENTON She’s an escapologist—(he points at YATES)—that’s more.

YATES groans, not entirely believing he’s having this conversation. He opens his mouth to say something when THE MASTER slams open the garage door and storms off into the corridor, making the Humans jump in surprise. All three watch as the Time Lord leaves in hopes that he didn’t see them.

THE MASTER (O.S.) I never…!

BENTON Well, that’s not good.

THE DOCTOR stands in the doorway, watching his colleagues.

YATES It almost has me curious.

THE DOCTOR Curious about what, exactly, my good man?

The three Humans fall over in shock.

GRANT Jeez, Doctor, warn us before you do that!

THE DOCTOR Then where’s the fun in that? Hop to it, Miss Grant—we’ve got to head over to Bucks if we’re going to get those atmospheric readings I need.

He retreats back into the garage. GRANT follows him dejectedly. YATES and BENTON look at one another and shrug.

GRANT (O.S.) Could you please stop calling it that? It sounds so weird coming out of you…

CUT TO: CLOSEUP OF THE MASTER

The camera is attempting to properly pull focus on her. She adjusts her hat and stares suspiciously at a hand holding a lavalier mic towards her, then presumably up at the hand’s owner.

THE MASTER Do I really have to wear that?

We cut sharply to THE MASTER ready for her cutaway interview. She is not wearing the lavalier, but a boom mic is in the shot for a moment before hovering out of frame. Focus is now pulled properly and she’s relaxed with a cuppa.

THE MASTER Why do I muck about as I do? Well, it’s rather simple, really. You see: the Doctor and I are brothers, and brothers irritate one another. Some brothers do things like steal the other’s girl, or put snakes in the bed, or eat yogurt that clearly doesn’t belong to them, or show up at the family dinner with some ridiculous adventure to tell and hog all the attention by having been an excellent and interesting son.

She shrugs, a smirk upon her lips.

THE MASTER cont’d I am an excellent and interesting Time Lord. He is not. Why wouldn’t I use that to my advantage?

She drinks some tea.

CUT TO: BLACK

#Doctor Who #fan fiction #Third Doctor #Brigadier LethbridgeStewart #The Brig #Alistair Gordon Lethbridge Stewart #Mike Yates #John Benton #Jo Grant #The Master #UNIT #script fic #and THAT is why it's not going on FFN lololol #I was there for the Great Script Fic Purge of the Mid Aughts do not speak ill of the dead

[pbandjesse]

Today was a really nice day. My hand continues to feel better. It was way to hot much our ac worked well. And even when I was outside I was able to ignore the heat for most of the day.

I slept alright last night. Waking up at 630 was not fun but it was mostly my own fault because I didn't go to sleep when I should last night, instead just scrolled on my phone for to long. I did eventually sleep and it wasn't bad sleep. Just waking up early was hard.

I also had a pain low in my abdomen for like the first half hour I was awake and I could feel myself being very inward. Like I wasn't communicating or anything. But once the pain stopped I felt better. And was able to be more present with James.

James got me to the museum at 7 and helped me unload the car and get the cart from inside the museum before they went to get me breakfast because they are the best. And it was already hot but it was alright. I was in the shade and that helped a ton.

I was a little stressed. I got my table set up and decided to have musuem brochures out on the cart. And I would hand out stickers for the farmers market to all the little kids. But I was in charge in charge. And that made me nervous!! But everything would work out great. We did have an extra vendor but a few people didn't show up so it was fine in the end. I would check in on every one and chitchat. It was a good day.

And I made a lot of sales to beautiful people. Kids. Adults. Even a dog?? Someone asked if I would be upset and I was like nah! And so the dog stuck his nose in the bears and chose his own. So cute.

I would get a smoothie from the nice Mexican ladies. They tried to give it to me for free so later I snuck $5 in their tip jar. I tried to just be helpful and happy. And I stood almost the entire time which always makes people engage with me more. So that was a good plan even if it hurt my feet to stand so much.

I told some people about my nonsense week and all the stuff that's happened. And chatted with new in town people about things to do, like the jazz concert tomorrow at the museum.

I even sold a bear to a lovely woman who would email me later in the day to tell me how powerful my bears were in bringing joy and that she was gifting it to her adult daughter who has cancer and that it will bring her comfort. And I was just. Blown away. Like all I want is for people to find comfort and joy in my plushies and that she felt like she had to confirm that for me was so powerful in its own way. Thank you for that.

And really it was a great morning. Even if it was very hot. I did my best to keep it together and not think about how got it was.

We would finish up the market at 1 and got packed up pretty fast. Once I was done putting my stuff away, struggling in the heat of the parking lot, I went in the musuem to sit with James for a few minutes. Return their counter to them that I used to count the guests of the market. Which was weirdly hard. We average about 100 people an hour so that's pretty neat. Not as wildly busy as the first week but still.

After I cooled off and everyone was cleared out from the market I would head home.

I was so happy to be back here. I held Sweetp and got all the ACs on and the fans I the specific spaces. I know our electric bill is going to be wild this month but I'd rather be comfortable. I'd rather Sweetp be comfortable.

I had a late lunch. Opened the mail. James got me another little pendant. Because I can never had enough little pendants. And eventually I decided to go lay down until James got home.

I love sleeping in the day time. I fall asleep so easy. And I would wake up when James got home but they would leave soon after to go play DND with some friends. And I slept another half hour.

When I got up for real I decided to try the hair glaze I got. It's called Glaze and I got it in their licorice color And hoenslty my hair looks great after using it. I did not take a picture but it seems like healthy shiney and I am very happy. But the bottle it came in is such a bad design and made it so hard to get the product out that I sent an email to the company. Basically say as an accessibility issue this product is a problem. I will still probably buy again but something to think about.

While my hair was processing I had some cereal. And after my shower I decided I would make a totebag. I had an idea about making a square tote and so I attempted that and had a lot of fun.

I used to make bags when I was all in my feelings. Made a lot in grad school. But I haven't for a while. This wasn't be sure I was sad but I have been dealing with a lot so this was nice and cathartic. I did almost finish the body of the bag before I decided it was wrong and cut it in half. But I am really pleased with the shape. It's just a little goofy being a square. And I made the straps which is something I used to hate doing but I think this strap came out so good?? I still would like to make a liner but I am so thrilled with the bag itself. It was a fun project. Especially since I'm going to be doing sewing with the kids this week, it was nice to jump into this type of sewing.

I would play Stardew valley for a little. And lay on the couch watching videos until James got home. They were so cute when they came in.

And now we are in bed. I am looking forward to resting more.

I hope you all sleep good. Take care of yourself. Try and stay cool!! Goodnight!

[tinamaetales]

You’re on your own, kid

“Life is emotionally abusive“ - Taylor Swift, Snow at the Beach

I am no stranger to adversity; things have never been good to me since I was young and now that I’m an adult, being in chaos seems to be an equivalent to being at home. Chaos is home. And it sucks because life should not be that way.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not trying to say that life should not have any difficulties but what I am trying to point out is life is not fair for everyone. While others get to recover and heal, there are people like me who falls deeper and deeper into rock bottom; it seems like no matter how hard you try, you just can’t win. 

This blog post might end up as trauma dumping but idc. I do not have anyone to tell things....not even family or friends so I decided to just unload my emotions here. 

There was a tiny spark of hope in me when 2023 started. I thought I could make this year my year. My plans for 2023 was actually simple:

1.) Fix my relationship with God.

2.) Work on acknowledging my emotions and expressing them instead of bottling it all up.

3.) Recover financially.

4.) Go back to therapy.

I thought that in 2023 I can start my recovery process but since it’s me that is not possible, at all. Few days into 2023 and my life is already fucked. I cannot believe that until now I still have to suffer the consequences of someone else’s actions. It sucks how my father was given the liberty to fuck around and then made me, my mom and sister suffer the consequences. So now I have all this burden to carry and not have someone to depend on. Not even family. Not even my friends. Not even God. In the end, I only have me. Taylor Swift’s right when she said “You’re on your own, kid. You always have been”

When things get overwhelming, I have this habit of isolating myself from the rest of the world and obsessively find myself something to hold on to. Lately if I’m not watching Miami Heat games, I watch series or rewatch iKON contents. Miami Heat games, iKON music and other related contents, music from Taylor Swift, EXO, 5 Seconds of Summer, series and docus on Netflix are my safe haven; they provided me this kind of safe space that no one else can. Investing myself way too much in them makes me forget my problems. However, you cannot fully shut down the world from yourself right? I still have to leave that space from time to time and good Lord it’s so exhausting facing the real world.

Lately, I have been watching this show that seems to challenge me mentally and emotionally because I can see myself in most of the characters. The show is called BoJack Horseman. It was so difficult for me to get through some of the episode not because it was bad, the show was actually well written, but because it gets so real at times. And, sometimes facing the truth is really difficult. I’m on season 2 now (it has six seasons), and I plan to finish this until the end. I guess there’s a reason why I ended up watching this show; maybe I need to learn how to face the truth as well as I need to learn how to actually work on making myself better. Let’s just see if there will be progress for me.

I have absolutely no intention of opening this account today and even writing something so I guess that explains why this entire blog post looks like a collection of paragraphs that were only put together so I can trauma dump lol. Anyway, I want to end this by sharing some quotes from the show: 

"The universe is a cruel, uncaring void, The key to being happy isn't a search for meaning. It's to just keep yourself busy with unimportant nonsense, and eventually, you'll be dead."

“That’s the thing. I don’t think I believe in deep-down. I kinda think that all you are is just the things that you do.”

x,

TinaMae

#personal #tinamae tales #bojack horseman

[toxicfucksaround]

I posted 4,084 times in 2022

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Longest Tag: 140 characters

#take it back take it back take it back take it back take it back take it back take it back take it back take it back take it back take it ba

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

I swear to god if Twitter users come to me and yell at me for stupid shit

I will virtually pepper spray you

That’s right

I’ll block you!

With no warning!

Back off, twitter users!

14 notes - Posted October 27, 2022

#4

Welcome to my blog!

My name is Max, I’m an oc artist who occasionally dabbles in fanart, oc x canon, and self ship shenanigans. If you don’t like that, that’s fine, just follow someone else instead.

Some general rules, bigotry of any kind will get you banned. Be kind and respectful. If I ever say something offensive please correct me, I’m doing my best but everyone makes mistakes, and I’d like to learn and grow from them. Just please be polite, thank you.

Blog Links

My main blog, you’re here!

My art blog, here

My mature art blog, No Minors, here

And my sims blog, here.

And the official blog for a story im working on called Tails of the Wicked.

Socials

My commissions are here!

Here’s my TikTok.

My YouTube channel.

My DeviantArt.

My Ko-Fi, if you’re able to donate or want a commission, let me know!

Some blog rules/things to keep in mind.

Harassment of any kind is not okay. If I do something wrong, correct me kindly, because I’m an idiot and probably don’t know what I did.

Bigotry of any kind is NOT allowed. I will block you. Any racism, lgbtphobia, all of it is not allowed. YOU ARE NOT WELCOME HERE.

I do not give a fuck about pro shipping/anti pro shipping nonsense. Like I don’t care, as long as it’s properly tagged, and no real people are harmed, leave me alone. Don’t send me asks about it, I don’t care.

I am a strong believer that as long as something is properly tagged and out of reach of children, they’re free to do whatever they want with fiction. As long as no real people are harmed, that is. That includes writing fan fiction about real people, it’s gross, don’t do that.

But like, zadr? Don’t care, like. Fuck off. Are people shipping the undertale bros again? I don’t like it but also I can just, ignore it, and mind my own business. Dead dove don’t eat.

Like

Idk I just feel like, tumblr gives us a good system to block tags, use it.

But yeah no DNI list because I just like, don’t care. If you bug me or upset me I’ll block but like

Anyone can come enjoy my shit, I need all the likes and reblogs I can get anyways lmaoo.

15 notes - Posted January 22, 2022

#3

So, this is something I meant to share my opinion on for awhile, but I was nervous to bring negative attention to myself.

This is in regards to the Your Boyfriend fandom, more specifically, the official game and creator.

Tw now for brief mentions of sexual assault and abuse.

Now, I’m not gonna sit here and complain about how the game ruined the personality I came to Peter for or anything, because frankly, I like yanderes, I don’t really care. Am I kinda bummed he’s not as unique and interesting as before, yeah, but I don’t care about that.

What I do care about, is that Fuboo, the creator of Your Boyfriend, marketed Your Boyfriend Peter as a character that is friendly to survivors of sa and abuse, and to aromantic and asexual people through the blog (which is going to be deleted soon from what I heard). She got everyone attached to his interesting take on yanderes, only to turn around and pull day three on us.

For those unaware, day three of the game involves Peter admitting to sexually assaulting you in your sleep, and then using pointless violence on you in every route.

That on its own is fine, classic yandere stuff. The problem is, that again, Peter was marketed as survivor and Aro and Ace friendly. Specifically exposing survivors of abuse and sa to something that could trigger their trauma.

Yes there’s warnings in the game that it’s not for certain audiences, that warns of certain content, however, there is no warning on the site about sexual assault. None.

Technically sa and abuse survivors fall under the triggered category, however, I believe it’s irresponsible to not advertise that there’s mentions of sa in the game.

I understand that this is just the warnings for day 1, however, you should have the warning before any of these survivors get this game, in my opinion.

That and, well, it’s entirely unfriendly to aro and ace people now. I doubt any ace or aro people wanna see this freak go against their lack of love or sexual arousal like this. The blog specifically stated that he would just want to be your closest and only friend if you were aro or ace, so to see this is upsetting. I’m not aro or ace, but I did feel it was important to mention.

All of this is just to say, I am no longer supporting any of the canon or official YB content. I will stick by certain fan creators, but not Fuboo.

I will still probably make fan content myself in regards of loving my OC Mc too much to give them up but, that being said I’m probably gonna redesign my version of Peter to make him stand out from the original game version more.

If you’ve read this far, thank you, please try to keep things civil in the notes. I’m not looking to argue, or persuade others, just stating my opinion and stance on canon.

I have nothing against those who continue to support canon, I just cannot do it myself.

Thank you, I hope you all have a nice day.

25 notes - Posted April 4, 2022

#2

Shout out to all the demiromantic people out there who never crushed on a celebrity but felt left out so they faked a crush to fit in.

Or to the demiros who always felt weirded out by the thirst of fans for celebrities.

To the demiros who think all these real people x fans fanfics are weird or uncomfy

The demiros who may have not experienced love

To the demiros who experienced love once years ago

The demiros who just experienced love for the first time

To the demiros in love with a best friend

The demiros in queer platonic relationships

To the demiros who only experience attraction to fictional characters

The demiros who don’t know what labels they are yet.

To all the Demiromantic people I have yet to mention

I rarely see anyone talk about being demiromantic

So to those who feel left out, here’s a post for you

I see you, I feel your experiences

You’re valid, you’re welcome in this community

You’re experiences are real, your label is real

You may not experience love the same way, but that’s okay

You’re okay.

Don’t let people tell you you’re too picky, or weird, or anything else people like to say.

In a world filled with an emphasis on romance, know you’re okay with, or without it.

Sometimes the best love, is self love, or platonic love.

Sincerely,

A fellow Demiromantic

46 notes - Posted May 16, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

LMAO LOOK WHAT ME AND MY BRO GOT IN OUR DHMIS HUNGER GAMES

115 notes - Posted October 26, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #Damn you tumblr #my blog is so saddd

[hornyblogofhelen]

I didn't have a very good day yesterday. Just when you thought you adequately broke up with your partner, it turns out you didn't. He didn't understand me the first time and decided to text me after the breakup a week later. He just asked "how are you?" and then added: "lol, I saw your post with the cartoon and I got so many ideas…!" Of course, I didn't really like his tone and didn't say anything to him. Then of course he texted, "stop playing silent over some nonsense…" (for a minute, you violated copyright, although you're a lawyer, and should know that you can't do that, and bumps like that were quite a lot). Of course, he proceeded to chirp in my ears that he "got it all" (no), that I wasn't "meat to fuck" and so on and so forth. I told him again that I didn't want to talk to him anymore, that I didn't see the point in it anymore, I didn't want to drag his problems on me, I didn't want to mess with him anymore. I told him to leave me alone at last, and if he didn't understand this obvious thing, that was his problem. And instead of separating like adults, he wrote me a huge message insulting me. Said that I was mean, that I "didn't think I was a problem" (even though I was actually talking about how I wasn't as perfect as he thought I was - every fucking day), that I had traits of an "inflated ego" (and I never denied it, I openly let him know that), that I was "not working through my traumas" (even though I had talked to psychologists and a therapist and I was doing everything to make me feel better, I was really working on myself), that I was "just like his ex" (who we were both in love with and she dumped us both, yeah). .. I could quote a lot from what he said, but most of what he voiced were accusations of all the deadly sins, that he was all Jesus and I was Judas the traitor. And of course he said, "Since I'm like that, he doesn't want me, he doesn't want to know me anymore, he's radically disappointed in me, and he won't exchange words with me again." And that would have been the end of it, but his last phrase left a rather huge wound in me: "I've got a snake on my chest. Go on living in the world of your fantasies and ideals, it's a pity that anyone who encounters you for real won't want to do business with you." It was very painful to hear myself say that. I had to drink a shot of valerian and a shot of liquor to make me feel better. After all, I knew he was going to hate me at some point, and I warned him about that, I warned him that I could be a very angry person. And of course he hated me. I don't regret ending the relationship with him one bit. Not only was he an abuser, shifting his problems onto me, but he acted like a little kid. He needs to see a psychologist too. His ideal is a woman who will be a second mommy to him, who will take care of him and drag him around her neck.

How funny that the fact that everyone, including women, has their own problems, and everyone has the right to keep some of it a secret, and no one is perfect, has come to him after two years. A standing ovation.

#[horny prison] dirty thoughts

[dramionediscussion]

Hey, I’m the anon who’s vented here a couple of times about the Ron loving/ Draco bashing author who also keeps changing the date on their fics to appear on the first page on ao3.

I’m here to vent again lol. They’ve got a new fic and I skimmed it to see if it was the same nonsense. It was lol. Draco comes up with the idea to let his wife, Hermione get a boyfriend because he’s to tired to have sex with her after work. It’s Blaise instead of Ron this time. Since I only skimmed it I’m not sure but I think Draco also gets off on Hermione dominating him and there’s some embarrassing/painful stuff he gets done to him. Anyway I confronted then because the reviews are moderates so I knew they wouldn’t post it for other people to see. I’ve never left a negative review and I didn’t want to do it but this author is so annoying that I just had to. It wasn’t about the fic specifically but all of them featuring Draco or dramione. It’s always the same theme. Plus I mentioned the whole changing the date thing too. They replied to my review through email so I’ll post both my review and their answer here because I want you to have the full picture.

You wrote:

Look , I’m not trying to be a hater but this and some of your other fics have no business being in the dramione tag, especially as the main pairing. You clearly have a dislike for dramione and Draco especially so I don’t see why you’re writing about something you don’t like when you can focus on writing for the ships you actually like. Obviously I can’t tell you what to write but you need to tag properly. Especially include a Draco bashing tag. Dramione fans don’t want to see Hermione continuously cheating on Draco and degrading him ( making it his idea doesn’t make it any better either) Or one or both of them just being a shitty person but that’s all you write and then we have to see it in our tag. I’ve seen other fics with similar premise where they invite a third person into their marriage but it’s always done respectively and dramione don’t hurt each other so if someone opens your fic to read and expect that they get blindsided by your content. I know you’re a Ron fan so even in fics where Hermione is married to Ron and they invited draco in, no matter whose idea it was ( mostly Ron) I don’t recall them being cruel to Ron. Most of the fics just have them divorce or come to an understanding. Plus ronmione would be tagged as a minor pairing even though they are married because the story focuses on dramione more so Ronmione fans can see that and avoid the fic if they want because they know going in what to expect. You also keep reposting your fics all the time so they appear on the first page and that’s not fair to the new fics you push down on the second page by doing that. I’m sure this won’t change your mind because I’m sure it’s not the first comment like this you’ve received because you obviously have comments moderated or turned off from your fics for a reason. I just wanted to get my feelings out in a respectful way

responded:

Hey buddy I too want to respond respectively to you. So here it goes, I placed the tags accurately there is no Draco bashing (first understand what bashing is) and Draco and Hermione are married in this. I also placed married Draco/hermione tag also cuckolding, you should have seen by that and contrary to your believes there are many people who love to see Draco getting cucked or humiliated. They request me in my discord with a story and the pairing and if I liked it too, i write it for them. Here Draco wanted to get cucked so Hermione granted his wish. Simple. And for your information (and for the 100th time) I'm not a ron fan, i just write some stories to support the pairing in between these ronmione bashing authors. I also don't hate or love draco/dramione, hell i don't even respect it as a pairing. So keep your thoughts to yourself. Bye

Maybe I was rude or didn’t explain myself properly because I meant all the fics they wrote about dramione and not just this one because it was tagged mostly properly. I probably should have said to include a tag that says not for Dramione or Draco fans instead of a Draco bashing tag but I think continuously degrading Draco in fics counts as bashing. Even leaving out dramione, they have one where he is married to Ginny and she’s cheating on him with Lucius. What makes me laugh is that they say they are not a Ron fan ( apparently for the 100th time. Lol I guess others have called them out on it before .) but write stories to support the pairing because of ronmione bashing fics. Sounds like a Ron fan to me. Then they say they dont like or dislike Draco or dramione but don’t respect it as a pairing. If you don’t respect something as a pairing then you don’t like it lol. They also say that they write requested fics if they like the idea so obviously they like the idea of Draco being cheated on. Just admit you’re a hater and go. I noticed they didn’t even address the part about changing the posting date on their fics and honestly that’s the part that is the most annoying and unfair to other authors.

It’s no use arguing with them because I think they know they are somewhat wrong but can’t admit it or don’t care at all. I’ll just ignore them from now on. I wish you could block authors on ao3 because of this one person lol.

Who is this author? I feel like we should know so we can avoid falling for their fics.

And yeah they are anti-dramione. They said it themselves, they don't respect it and they don't respect other readers/authors by purposely not using the tags appropriately and by gaming the system to make their fics always be at the top.

We all need to ignore this person.

- Lisa

[the-artistic-mg]

Confessions From a Merchant #1: Meet Murv

We all like to think we're the hero of our own story. We go on a quest,collect our experiences along the way,and we expect to have a big celebration of our accomplishments after it's all over.

But what about the people who help out those heroes to begin with? What's their story caught in between those epics?

Well,this is where my story begins.

I'm Murv and I'm better known to some as the merchant in the land of Ever Green. Throughout my past travels,I have had many unconventional adventures. Some stories I have are mundane,some are fun,and others were horrifying. I like to refer to them all as myself being young and dumb though.

As I grow older and reflect back on them,I want to put them all in writing. For these reasons,I'm not sure why. Maybe I'm drawn to the idea of getting everything off my chest. Maybe I want young adults who are the age I was in these tales to learn from my experiences. There's no definitive answer I have right now,but one thing is certain that these existed at one point in time and I lived through them as fate aligned them.

I left home long ago to pursue a business adventure that was new and exciting for me.

Leaving was scary. I didn't feel connected to the idea of staying in one place. At least,not to one specific place. I wanted what many young adults desired. I wanted independence.

It took me awhile to get the hang of my traveling business. But once I planned out a strategy for it,I found my footing eventually. My work consisted of walking into the nearest human villages of Ever Green in the hopes of setting up shop temporarily there.

Why humans? Well,they were the most desperate beings with the most to spend. Humans are egotistical creatures. You sell them a magical idea in the form of potions and gems that only they think they can conquer,and you got yourself something to profit off. What I sold to them were never lies though. They were more like elaborate truths.

Take for instance,if I've obtained a potion. If someone drinks it,they are healed but develop a radioactive skin barrier for awhile. I wouldn't want to scare away potential buyers from it. I would instead,say "This potion heals you and will temporarily illuminate your path on your most darkest journey." And to really seal the deal,I would be sure to only present it at night in the darkest desperate hours closest to the woods. When you're a merchant after all,presentations are key to keeping your business afloat.

While it's dangerous to put together such unstable elixirs and manage them through treacherous locations,all of that compares to nothing like customer service,the worse of them all.

I hate it when returning customers reunite with me at the local taverns. I would go there to rest and occasionally partake in fun drinks,but sometimes and if not almost often my sanctuary would turn into lines of people with horrible attitudes.

They would constantly complain about the quality of my merchandise,exclaiming "You said this elixir is berry flavored! It has blueberry,raspberry,and strawberry but why didn't you put cherry?!" or "You said I can have a free sample! Why won't you give me another one?! I needed extra to test it out and see if I like it or not!" the usual loud nonsense like that. But even after I do my best to explain these 'complaints' to them,they threaten to go to the knights nearby the kingdom. That's when I offer them their refunds back so I don't get caught by his royal highness and his henchmen in chrome armor.

It can be almost always a vicious cycle living your life as a merchant. Most I know always end up being corrupted from it. Yes,I admit my faults but until you see for yourself how cruel the others are or were in the business,I am probably seen as a saint in comparison.

While others in my profession have a goal of buying their way into the most fancy gated kingdom here or even above,my motives have always been simple. My whole young adult life,I wanted nothing more than to live up to where the mountains stood.

Pass the green fields,through the woods,and over the rivers,they stand tall. Isolated yet spacious. Cool yet warm,filled with hidden treasures. Some mountains hide trinkets and others hide cozy cabins that have not been claimed. And that's what I dreamed of.

You now have probably wondered,have a ever found what I was searching for? Well,just like the treasures in the mountains,I'll let you see if I can let you find them in these stories forward. For now,this is where we leave our first trinket found.

This is a very short read. Consider this an introduction to a character driven fantasy narrative I have in mind for awhile and I hope to make more future stories relating to this soon. I had a lot of fun getting back into writing after so long. I am now ready to share more stories in the future on DeviantArt,Tumblr,and maybe Commaful too.-M.G.

#Short Writing #short story #fantasy story #character story #my story #creative writing #my short story #My writing #writerscommunity

[inkandpaperqwerty]

List: The Sequel

So, I mentioned this in my weekly post, and I actually managed to get it done this week! Below is a list of stories I haven’t posted yet but am currently working on, which is something I've done before and really enjoyed handing out to people. 

Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Criminal Minds – Through the Gate – Edward has no idea what world he just woke up in, but there was a murderer, and there was blood everywhere, and he got the distinct feeling he wasn’t in Amestris anymore. Meanwhile, the BAU team is trying to figure out who this blonde boy is and how he got such advanced prosthetics. And what is this alchemy he keeps talking about? It’s like nothing they’ve ever heard before. ((This one is at 12,299 words, so it’s not that long, and I’m not entirely sure where I want to take it. Definitely going to try and get some work done on it in the coming weeks, as this is the only story from my previous list that has not been posted yet.))

Supernatural – Untitled – Xal has no idea how long he’s been enduring Heaven’s Persuasion, but it’s been a long time. He has no idea why Heaven is telling him to do what they’re telling him to do, but he knows he doesn’t trust it. He has no idea where the Winchesters are, but he knows he has to get to them. There’s a lot he doesn’t know, but at the same time, there’s a lot he does know, and maybe… if he plays his cards right… he can do a little persuading of his own. ((Part 3 of the Building Bridges series. I’ve started this one, but I haven’t gotten very far.))

Avengers – A Song by Any Other Name – Just a little oneshot set in the Restitution universe wherein Tony gives Steve, Loki, and Thor a list of songs that have some pretty nonsensical lyrics. They listen to them, and immense confusion ensues. (This one I would say is about halfway done, and it will be posted as Chapter 8 of Restitution Bonus Features.))

Supernatural & Criminal Minds – Friendship is Magic – “Now that you’re all awake, it’s time to get down to business.” The BAU team and both Winchester brothers wake up in captivity, but they don’t stay there long. Their captor releases them, gives them some resources, and reveals that the cases they’ve been working are perpetrated by both a normal human and a witch. They’ll have to work together to catch their targets, but… that’s much easier said than done. ((I don’t like this summary, but it gets the point across. I think it might be a while until you see this one because it’s turning into a very complicated, in-depth case.)) 

Supernatural – Untitled – Dean knows that hunter’s markets put monsters down. It happens all the time. He knows this. But when it’s about to happen right in front of him, it doesn’t seem to matter how unruly and violent this angel is. He has to do something to stop it. So he offers half a grand, and suddenly, he owns an angel. Only the angel isn’t grateful. Instead, it wants to kill both him and Sam—desperately—and they have to find some way to change its mind. ((I know I’ve done a lot of Slavery!Supernatural stories, but it’s a favorite of mine, and I can’t help myself. I don’t intend to make this one very long, but honestly, I have no idea where it’s going to go. We’ll have to wait and see!))

So, this is what you can expect to see in the coming days! I would love some feedback letting me know what you’re looking forward to or something you would like to see depicted in these stories I’m working on. Let me know what you think!

Also, please keep in mind that, even though I am working diligently on these stories, I am also working on getting my first book published! Cataclysm is finished and fully edited, and now we've moved on to the formatting phase. There's a lot going on, and it's bound to take away from my fanfiction exploits. Thank you so much for your patience, and thanks for reading this!

#fanfiction #fanfiction.net #ao3 #ao3 fanfic #ao3 fanfiction #ao3 author #ao3 writer #writing #fanfic #story #stories #supernatural #spn #dean #dean winchester #sam #sam winchester #castiel #cas #slavery #torture #dark #oc #demon oc #xal #criminal minds #hotch #hotchner #aaron hotchner #reid

[sleepinglionhearts]

So like, what else would you do with multitudes of weird photos from high school?

#doodles #fire emblem #fe3h #linhardt von hevring #petra macneary #dorothea arnault #ferdinand von aegir #hubert von vestra #felix hugo fraldarius #sylvain jose gautier #edelgard von hresvelg #fe art tag #my art #again look at that starting to use full names in case that's more convenient #so instead of being overly consumed by The Sadness today i've decided #to instead work on some nonsense to keep myself busy #and avoid feeling overwhelmed #and this is what resulted #i took so many pictures of everyone when i was in high school! #none are very good quality bc i mostly took them with the ipod touch i had at the time #i've always liked to just. document things #and so i would document the various things my friends did #i have a lot more i wanna draw over and i may work on that in the next day or two #then again i do have an essay i need to be working on #but will i have the focus? #who knows! #ok anyway here u go take whatever this is