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mindibindi · 9 months

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hey! sorry for bothering you, but i as a fellow x-phile i would like to ask how credible it is that gillian anderson and david duchovny hated each other back in the day? there are probably quotes or something but i can't really judge anything this late after the fact. i did watch the show when it aired but i was too young to get into internet culture. anyway, i'm hoping for some wisdom from fans who remember this. :) thank you!

Hey Anon,

It’s no bother and thanks for the ask. And actually, after the fact is a good position from which to view this matter since, as we all now know, Gillovny’s story has a happy ending. I was around for the original run too but internet culture was very different then. Not everyone was constantly online, I certainly wasn’t. The internet was expensive and hard to access so I got a couple of hours per week tops, which I mostly used to read fanfic. (Fanfic for this show/ship was basically my fanfic writer origin story: I was like WHAT OTHER PEOPLE DO THIS TOO???!!! And btw: readers complain these days about the pressure to respond to fanfic. Back in the day, you had to compose a whole fricking email if you wanted to badger your fave author for more. And there was certainly no easy kudos button option to make you feel like you’d done your bit to encourage community. Anyway.)

There were fan sites, message boards and lots of different fanfic archives. And sure, there was some gossip but it still mostly came via old print media. Pre-social-media, there wasn’t a direct line to celebrities or any great expectation placed on them interact with fans in regular, intimate ways. The advent of social media has created these parasocial relationships in which (some) fans think they know or have a right to far more than they do. Back in the day, and istg this is true, I posted a picture of DD with Blue in the surf on some now defunct message board. The moderators removed it and v kindly said: nope, against our guidelines, no images of private moments taken without the person’s consent. I mean…. talk about boundaries! My baby fangirl ass was properly chastised and learnt a valuable lesson. I think we can learn a thing or two from early internet culture and original fans, some of which are still knocking about this site.

Anyway, all of this is to say, I don’t have any special insight here. The only people who know in any great detail what truly went on in DD and GA’s relationship is them, and maybe a few people in their immediate vicinity. But XF fans are lucky enough to stan two very honest, emotionally thoughtful people who have shared with us some of the challenges they faced during the show’s original run. And, for better or worse, when people tell you who they are, I tend to believe them. Yes, there are other fans that can probably provide you with quotes and timelines and (wild) speculation, but I think I know enough to give a fairly objective opinion on what I think actually occurred. For me, the most pertinent quote here is Gillian’s characterisation of their relationship as being like “a forced marriage”. I take this to mean that, like any marriage, there was great intimacy, respect, cooperation and commitment. Maybe even love. But there was also a lack of choice that caused tension, despite multiple positive relational elements.

“Tension” is a word that has also been applied to their late-90s relationship and I think it’s probably more accurate. I don’t think they HATE hated each other. But I think they probably had fleeting moments of feeling: OMG this person is getting on my last sane nerve, I cannot stand to be around them another fricking second. I think the protracted and concentrated intimacy of their circumstances gave rise to SOME super understandable negative feelings that ultimately, did not define the true nature of their relationship, either then or now. I don’t think those feelings were all there was, even back then. I don’t think these two were epic lovers any more than they were bitter enemies. I think they were just two human beings attempting to function under super intense scrutiny and an extremely gruelling work schedule. And that at times resulted in tension or irritation which they found ways around. Talking to each other only as Mulder and Scully may sound terrible to some but I think it’s a rather ingenious way to conserve their energy for their jobs. It shows an incredible commitment to their characters, to the show and to the contribution the other was bringing to that celebrated dynamic. They knew it was important so that's where they focused.

We have all had times in relationships where we’ve needed some space, even from someone we like, love, respect and value. If anyone was struggling to understand this dynamic between DD and GA then recent experiences of lockdown should have provided some insight into this kind of intense forced intimacy. Now, I have never been married but I’ve lived with people and that experience will make you loathe how a person walks, breathes, sleeps, eats, does the smallest, most insignificant things. It’s not the permanent state of your relationship. It’s just a passing reaction. It does not matter how much you might like or appreciate this person. In one bright flash, they become the most infuriating person to ever walk the planet. Then you go into another room or go to work and the feeling fades. But what happens when you can’t get away, you actually can’t get the sort of space a healthy relationship needs? We all saw how lockdown increased the pressure on all relationships, especially partnerships and marriages. There was pressure within and without and people reacted naturally to profoundly unnatural circumstances. That’s all that happened here.

Now, it must be pointed out that even during periods of the original run when their relationship was supposedly suffering, there is footage of them having fun on-set and ruining takes by making out. This supports the idea that any “hate” was an understandable but impermanent reaction for both. Actually, I think it is highly admirable that they were able to collaborate together and remain individually sane while experiencing such relational tension. It shows incredible personal fortitude and professional commitment. They stayed focused and pragmatic and, to me, there is never any indication that their personal struggles impacted the final product. In fact, I believe they actually enhanced Mulder and Scully’s relationship in those middle years of the original run when they too were experiencing some growing pains in their relationship. I’m thinking of the raw emotion in that end scene of “Elegy” and the palpable impatience and antagonism in “Gethsemane”. I’m thinking of the division and sadness in the hospital scene in “The Red and the Black” and throughout “The End”. Like Mulder and Scully, David and Gillian have some fundamental similarities and some very distinct differences. For the first few years of the series they were living very different lives. It took them time to attune to each other, just as it took Mulder and Scully time to fully absorb the many intricate dimensions of their relationship. As DD and GA grew older, their lives became more similar and their understanding of each other likewise grew. And honestly, I think it’s somewhat hypocritical and inhuman to appreciate the many complex beats of the M/S relationship as it plays out on-screen, but then judge their real-life counterparts as they tread an equally complex path towards true understanding, appreciation and love.

I haven’t watched TXF in years and in my recent rewatch, I was surprised actually at just how combative this relationship could be. I had only remembered all the sweet, shippy bits! But (and I should not really have to point this out) that's also what is so compelling to watch. The conflict. The contrast. The difference (not just in height, although their physical difference does act as a powerful symbol of their mismatched but ultimately complementary dynamic). The difference and yes, even at times tension, between David and Gillian only adds to a dynamic that so many have tried and failed to emulate (RIP to any reboot of this show. This show IS DD and GA’s chemistry. End of.). I can’t be mad or disappointed about Gillovny’s 90s tension, so carefully navigated by both actors, because fuck me does it work for the MSR angst! D’you think we’d have so many delicious angsty fanfics if these two had been sunshine-y, tension-less best buds every step of the way?? Not only is some tension an understandable human reaction that I believe they have every right to, it adds dimension to an epically URSTy relationship that could have gotten boring (and kinda did towards the end, let's be real). There is an added, honest, brave truth to the moments of impatience, frustration, disagreement and division in the M/S relationship because DD and GA experienced these things themselves in the context of their equally intense working relationship. I think the actors continued to mine their own tension and express it through Mulder and Scully, which again is a super creative and healthy way to protect their working relationship and serve the M/S relationship. A relationship in which they were invested, but also a relationship that was central to the show and important to so many fans.

In time, the more intense M/S moments lost their bite. The relationship became softer, less combative, more appreciative. The LA move decreased the actor’s isolation and gave the show a new tone. Gillian is on record saying how strange it was for her when David disappeared in later seasons. And we all know the story of the 10 min post-"Existence" embrace (if you don’t let me know). So this story has a neat and satisfying ending even if Mulder and Scully never really got theirs. As evidenced by the second movie and reboot, nothing was destroyed. The chemistry remains (even if it’s not served by quality plot, development, context and characterisation). These human beings and artists did their best under difficult circumstances. They protected the work, the characters and their relationship. In fact, I would venture to suggest that the wild appreciation they show for each other now, the enduring chemistry we see on-screen and the palpable enjoyment they feel at the other’s presence any time they get the opportunity to reunite is in part due to how they navigated their early years as mismatched colleagues thrown together and expected to work closely under immense pressure. Thanks to David and Gillian, hate never took root. And now, in DD’s words, all that’s left is the heart.

#txf #the x files #msr #mulder x scully #fox mulder #dana scully #gillian anderson #david duchovny #gillovny #90s tension #ask #ask a question of me and you will get an essay #any aunty fangirls with further info or thoughts are free to chime in #but hate will be blocked

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spider-xan · 3 months

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Decided to do a deep dive into the racism of PJO amidst all the praise about how progressive it is and the stupid YA fantasy stan wars and RR is not seeing heaven for that horrible essay he wrote trying to justify all the racist shit he did with that Cherokee character, like, this is the classic white person 'I am very intellectual, unlike you heathens' thing and while he did do a lot of research (a 19th century white man's ethnography as the main source though, as if the Cherokee are not a living nation and are right there telling you why this shit is racist?), how did he take such wrong lessons from what he read, actually, I think his problem is that he projected his own white hyper-individual egoism onto a collective community-based culture bc even I know that things like feathers are bestowed onto someone and not something you choose for yourself as self identity, but he really went with the character choosing to wear feathers as a fuck yeah, self identity!! thing when it would not have been hard to write her as actually re-connecting with her people if she was interested in finding her lost cultural identity, like, it just feels so obvious he was writing from a white personal lens and didn't stop to think that just reading a lot of books alone for academic knowledge is not good enough.

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zot3-flopped · 7 months

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what is sad to me is that you can actually learn so much from the people you stan. i know a lot of harries have learned new artists and music through him for example, or have been inspired to learn a new language because he did. as an army myself, i've learned about a new culture, new food, new language through BTS as well as the messages of self-love they always send. but when it comes to louis, what is there to learn? he is not cultured and he does not take care of himself. so taking lessons from him would not be of benefit to fans at all, quite the contrary. and i wonder, what are they here for? not the music, cause it's basic. not the lessons you can learn or good feelings, those are nowhere to be found. not his personality i'm assuming. so why stick around for someone who has nothing to offer?

Louies stick around mainly because they think he's gay. They rarely mention the music and only genuinely like the songs which they mistakenly think are queer coded, like Only the Brave and All This Time.

#louies #agree he is a dire role model and not inspirational in the slightest

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artsybookworms · 2 years

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A pointless thread in which I rate the PJO books:

10/10: A classic. One of the things I love about these books is Percy’s narration. He’s so endearing and witty and I immediately wanted to root for him. Also, this was a very good introduction to new characters. Even the minor ones feel like real people who you can love and cheer on. The plot is fun and well-paced while being surprisingly heart-warming.

9/10: Tyson appears!! I honestly love the internal conflict in this book. I wrote a whole post about this, but in a nutshell, the main characters (who in YA typically have “forgivable flaws” like being too nice or some bs like that) struggle with real issues like prejudices against another character. These flaws aren’t pretty, and in fact, make Percy and Annabeth kind of unlikeable. But they learn through their time with Tyson that he’s not so different than they are, and they form a love and friendship for one another. This is such an important lesson to be teaching young kids who are entering schools where they’ll be faced with a variety of people and cultures. The plot itself is enjoyable and I love young, awkward Percabeth, although I still prefer TLT.

9/10: First of all, I love that Percy gives no shits about the prophecy or the gods. His best friend is in trouble and gods be damned he’s going to help her. (Budding Percabeth ahhhh). The plot is exciting and I love the introduction of Rachel! One of my favorite characters tbh. This is probably controversial, but I never really got attached to Bianca, so her death wasn’t that sad to me. I was honestly just worried about Nico’s well-being and how it would affect his relationship with Percy. Overall, it’s a solid book, and the character development is *chef’s kiss*. Also, this is literally so minor but Percy and Thalia’s fight where he lifts all the water out of the lake and is about to like,, launch it at her?? That scene ruined me as a kid plss it was so hot

9/10: Alright I know some people don’t like that Rick pit two girls against each other in this book, but I’m gonna be honest, I don’t think it’s that big of a deal. Like,, they’re 14 year olds? I think it’s normal to have petty fights about a boy they like, especially when they’re forced to spend hours of time together on a quest. It’s not like Percy isn’t jealous either—remember how he reacts when he thinks Annabeth’s joining the Hunters or notices that she has a crush on Luke? Also, Annabeth is written as a well-rounded character; I don’t think it’s fair to say it’s sexist to have a scene where she’s jealous of another girl. Jealousy is a normal flaw to have, and people are more than their flaws. If you want to pick out flaws in the Riordanverse books, there are plenty to choose from. This ain’t it💀 Idk maybe I need to reread it, but Percy, Annabeth, and Rachel are some of my favorite characters, and I liked that we got to see them interact with one another. Anyways, I also loved the introduction of Calypso! That whole scene was so soft and honestly heartbreaking. But of course, I have to talk about the Percabeth kiss. What a scene😭 Something I really appreciate about PJO is that the romance is a slow burn. It’s obvious they’re going to get together, but not in the boring way. Their relationship feels natural, well-paced, and so satisfying when they finally act on their feelings for each other. Ugh. I’m so lonely.

10/10: The River Styx scene?? Annabeth’s literally his tether to the real world,, I’m sobbing. Honestly, this whole book is chock full of quality Percabeth moments. There are so many good scenes in TLO tho; I really feel like it was a good conclusion to the series. Beckendorf’s death? Absolutely tragic. Silena’s death? Heartbreaking. Clarisse killing the drakon and dragging its corpse around after? I’m gonna go feral. Percy turning down immortality?? Demanding that the gods take care of their children instead?? This is why he doesn’t suffer from main character syndrome!! We stan!! My standards are unachievably high!!

All in all, PJO is such a good book series. The characters feel real, the conflicts are well-developed, and the payoff is satisfying. It has such a tight plot—there are very few parts that feel pointless or like filler. It has its flaws, but Rick seems genuine about learning and improving his representation and supporting authors who are better qualified to tell their stories. PJO will always be something near and dear to my heart.

#percy jackson #annabeth chase #percabeth #pjo #leo valdez #nico di angelo #hoo #percy jackson headcanon #piper mclean #hazel levesque

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hereforthezutarastuff · 2 years

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hi, daintycabinet here again, not signed in tho cuz i'm lazy <3 thank you for the post, my single favorite moment ever is Katara melting at 'Zuko's' baby picture and I feel like it's not talked about enough so thank you again for that wholesome compilation. i did fumble my wording in the last ask tho, cause I was actually referring to a Top 5 Zuko Moments request OvO'

Ahh! Sorry this took a bit to answer, and thank you for sending! I’m a Katara stan first, so I needed time to collect moments outside of Zuko’s relationships to others (so no lightning catching or standing up to his father today) that really stood out to me. 😭 I had a feeling I misunderstood your original question, but let’s blame the confusing rules of the English language instead lol

1. Zuko is goal-oriented, determined, and a fighter

-This whole sequence gave me chills, and it says a lot about Zuko. He’s smart enough to follow seals into the Northern Water Tribe and dumb enough to yell at them to shut up. This moment is the climax, and we see him fighting odds, determined in the face of adversity, and really only thinking about his goal. Not his safety, not his escape plan, only capturing the avatar. You gotta admire that kind of bullheadedness tbh.

2. Zuko is dry, brave, and honorable

-I know. Out of all the moments from Zuko Alone, I pick this one? But yeah. This one. Zuko had no idea who that kid was but covered for him anyway. Not only that, he did it with a dry sense of humor and no fear of these soldiers that he turned his back to. He has seen worse than them. Though we saw him moments earlier close to collapsing from hunger and exhaustion, he took the brunt of their ire because he knew the kid didn’t deserve it.

3. Zuko is hotheaded, dramatic, and emotionally deep

-I love that post that’s like “Zuko does One Good Thing and falls into a coma.” I also love the analysis of this episode that delves into the cultural significance of Zuko’s illness. Really though, he didn’t need to throw that ladle or chuck the bucket, but he did. Because he has a temper. Aaand because he feels A Lot, likely as a result of trying to compartmentalize for so long. He has such a deep capacity to care about his own morals, ideology, and the world that it renders him catatonic.

4. Zuko is honest, proud, and dynamic

-You know that temper I just talked about? Yeah, it’s still there but curbed after his life lessons trip. We see him almost flare up when his pride takes a hit after being teased, but he controls himself because he doesn’t want rage to be a motivator anymore. Anger is a protector—and I think anger would always play a role in his life as an indication of what is just—but Zuko is dynamic in that he changed how he would use his anger. His character arc is legendary, and here’s a small moment where we see the fruits of his labor. Side note, he cannot lie. In situations where lies are necessary or preferred, he often responds with a question. Anytime he tries to lie in a convincing way, Zuko fails miserably. I feel like he’s accepted that about himself as he admits he’s dancing with Aang.

5. Zuko is dutiful, loyal, and an idealist

-Iroh said it best. “An idealist with a pure heart and unquestionable honor.”

#Zuko #atla #daintycabinet #gifset #asks #thank you again for the ask!

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captnjacksparrow · 2 years

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Although I don't agree in some parts, I enjoyed your post about Sasuke's PTSD that are based from your discussion with your friend @melody-of-lost-souls who studied Psychology. I wonder, what about other characters? Do you guys discuss about mental health for character slike Tsunade who clearly has PTSD that resulted in her phobia of blood (I don't like how it was treated in canon, it's too easily cured and brushed aside), or Kakashi who get his own PTSD arc (I know that it's filler, but you once said that those filler block has no single OOC scene so it's possible that those things are happened in canon). His stans often excuse his inability to teach Team 7 properly because of his trauma, do you and your friend think the same?

Regarding this Post

LOL. We were specifically talking about Sasuke's PTSD alone because he was the most UwUwU trauma baby here in Tumblr. And I never believed those claims even when I was a newcomer to this fandom and I just wanted to verify If I am right and as it happens my friend confirmed it with Symptoms and all that. Because just like you said, Tsunade had her PTSD and it was clearly shown for 2 or 3 chapters and how it impacted her Character journey. But Sasuke was never drawn to show such symptoms....

My Whole point was, I am not discrediting the fact that Sasuke never had any PTSD... It's just that he got over it pretty quickly just like many other characters. Using PTSD/Trauma as the reason to excuse his wrong-doings or justify a Ship moment.... JUST DOESN'T CUT IT.

As for Kakashi's PTSD....

I agree that Filler Arc has no OOC and it gels up with Canon in many different ways. But it's still not canon... So, Kakashi having PTSD in canon is just like what I've written for Sasuke as well... He might have suffered from those Trauma but got over it by the beginning of Chapter 1.

His stans often excuse his inability to teach Team 7 properly because of his trauma...

A General Thumb of Rule... I follow in any fandom is... Anyone who is using Age Card, Gender Card, Culture Card and Trauma card to excuse a 'Said' Characters' shitty behaviour is just a Blind Apologist and a Self-Projector.

I am not saying, no one should pull these cards... But only under the right context.

For Example, If someone wants to pull this Trauma card... A Right Context should be.... In a World, where a bunch of 15 year old boys were going to school, have fun and playing around... But specifically there is this another 15 year old boy underwent something horrible (insert any traumatic situation here) which renders him incapable of being sociable and hence he does some Crime out of self-defense or Trauma....

So, this means... This is a World where a regular 15 year old boys can have fun in their life except for that one particular boy... He is different because of those bitter experiences that’s not very common.

If someone cites Trauma in this particular situation, then that’s totally understandable and valid because the Narrative supports it. But in Narutoverse, everyone in their 12-15 age, underwent something bitter in one way or another way. Haku, Nagato, Kabuto, Naruto (????). How is it that when it comes to Sasuke and Kakashi.... it’s always just because of Trauma and PTSD.?? I just don’t get it. I hate to play this Pain/Trauma Olympics, honestly.

As for Kakashi being a Bad Sensei for Team 7...

My take is... Even if you make an Adult Sasuke or Naruto to time travel and put them as a Sensei for Team 7 when they were their younger self.... Still, they would end up being the Bad sensei... Because, the Conflict between Naruto and Sasuke can be solved only by those two. That’s all this entire story is all about... Kakashi simply has no place in it.

He taught the most important lesson for Team 7... That is Team Work. Which is very evident from the way Naruto and Sasuke fought Zabuza/Haku in the Land of the Waves Arc itself. I clearly don’t understand what the fandom wants Kakashi to teach Team 7 further???

Kakashi taught Sasuke his predominant Jutsu, Chidori... He would’ve taught many things had Sasuke stayed in the Village... Because Jiraiya asked him to take care of Sasuke because of the Sharingan.

Kakashi helped Naruto to develop Rasen Shuriken, Basics of Kage Bunshins and all that.

Kakashi, though he didn’t teach anything for Sakura... Because she didn’t qualify further in her Chunin Exams... Still he put forth Sakura’s name to Tsunade and that prompted her to take Sakura as her student.

And I know, people point out how Kakashi ignored Naruto during Chunin Exams. He didn’t teach him because Jiraiya told him to focus on Sasuke and that J will take Naruto under his wings. And as decided, Jiraiya taught N Kuchiyose... Kakashi taught Chidori to S.... So, Case Closed.

And also, to be honest... Every Sensei in this Story is kind of a Failure. Hiruzen failed to get a good Hold on his Student, Orochimaru... Minato couldn’t identify it was Obito on the day Kyuubi Incident happened, although he couldn’t have done anything about it either... Kakashi... well, you know what happened.

The only Sensei who looked successful in Narutoverse is Sarutobi Asuma. But Hey, it was all because Shikamaru, Ino and Chouji never acted as an individuals but always as a Team. And also, Ino-Shika-Cho trio was some Family thing. That tradition was followed for many generations and hence Asuma’s life as a Sensei was much more easier.

So, Is Kakashi a Bad Sensei???

Personally, I don’t care. He appeals to me more as an Individual Character than Babysitting this Team full of Gremlins. (Please know that I am an Anti Team 7).

But Does it matters??? Was this story about Kakashi acting as an emotional compass for either Naruto or Sasuke to have an influence on his Students??

No.. Right?

But Kakashi himself openly admitted that he was never a Good Sensei... So, I’m just going to partially accept as to how he feels about himself despite he has this tendency to self-deprecates himself many times...

“As the Leader of Team 7, I blame my personal shortcomings for the Team Failing, I apologize.... I’ve been a terrible Sensei to you all...”

The reason, I partially agree with this comment is because of all these following moments....

Kakashi indeed agreed to Naruto’s wishes to chase Sasuke.

He indeed understood where Sai’s loyalty is.... Without Sai spelling it outloud...

When Sakura was marching towards her death, Naruto actually ignored that and went onto Angst over Sasuke and it was Kakashi who bothered to chase Sakura.

He indeed went to look up for Naruto and gave his shoulder for his Student and gave him that much needed Piggy Back Ride.... Which reminds me of this scene from Chunin Exams...

We can’t be discrediting all these scenes and blatantly pin Kakashi as a Piss Poor Sensei...

It’s also a common sense that this is a media where Child Heroes do stuffs which Adult couldn’t... Meaning, ‘Adults are Useless’ trope is much more common in this type of Genre. Naruto changed Zabuza’s heart which Kakashi couldn’t, Naruto found an Answer for Nagato’s question which Minato couldn’t... Naruto and Sasuke broke the Curse which Hashi & Madara couldn’t.... And many more.... Which means Kakashi was bound to be shown as a Failure just like many Adult Characters in this series...

But Atleast in Narutoverse, Not every Adults were shown to be totally useless like they show in other child medias... The Author has paid very mindful thought about each and every characters with their own Flaws and Positives... And that’s exactly why you have Fans/Stans for even a side character like Kabuto, Deidara who are not known for their Greek God like Handsome appearance...

I don’t know why Kakashi stans are resorting to Trauma Card to justify him for being a Bad Sensei when in Canon he himself had agreed otherwise... Accepting the fact the Kakashi failed in something as a Sensei is actually a part of his Character... Trying to bury that fact under the Trauma Rug is a huge disservice to his Character.

#sasuke #kakashi #hatake kakashi #naruto #sai

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princeescaluswords · 3 years

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All this is just further proof that fandom is DEEP in their own, self indulgent crafted narrative/au that they assert as "canon". They actually HATE the show for subverting common tropes. No, the broody and attractive white man from a distinguished lineage isn't the hero. Nor is the snarky white sidekick. Fanfiction would have you believe Derek was kindly offering lessons to Scott, who rudely snubbed him. Stans whine about the "lost potential" of exploring the Hale Family, but it WAS NEVER ABOUT THEM!!!!

Your question struck me because it's so completely true. They claim to be looking at canon, but they really aren't.

One story I read this morning had Stiles joining the Hale Pack and ending his friendship with Scott because Scott 'neglected' him after Gerard kidnapped him in Master Plan (2x12), because the fact that Scott 'left with Allison and Chris' shows that Scott didn't care about Stiles at all.

Except that we don't see Scott leave with Allison and Chris. The next scene we see is Allison breaking up with Scott and we know it's the same night. But there's no indication that Scott didn't talk to Stiles after Jackson's resurrection. And it certainly seems that Stiles and Scott are in a pretty good situation with each other at the end of the season. Why would their minds go to "Scott didn't care that Stiles was kidnapped and hurt!?!?!"

Especially when their minds don't go there after Raving (2x08). It took you a moment to figure out what I was talking about, didn't you?

When Victoria is using poison gas to kill Scott, Derek, who is standing next to Stiles and his mountain ash line, has to shout at Stiles to break the line because he's sensed Scott is in trouble. And Stiles huffs and breaks the line. But we don't see Stiles ask Scott if he's okay. We don't see Stiles help find Scott. We don't see Stiles at the Animal Clinic while Deaton is taking care of Scott. Derek's there and waiting, but Stiles isn't.

Why don't their minds go to "Stiles is selfishly focused on his own needs and is neglecting Scott!?!?" Because it would be a ludicrous conclusion to draw; Stiles has demonstrated his care and feelings for Scott in the past just as Scott has demonstrated his care and feelings for Stiles in the past.

Now, this is a double standard, one of many, many, many double standards in a fandom that seems to relish them. And one could make the argument that it's a deliberate and conscious choice to ignore one scene in order to support their desired conclusions in another, but after reading enough well-meaning author's notes which talk about how they think that "Scott was a better friend than canon portrays," I think it might be something more troubling:

The fandom has been indoctrinated so deeply by the culture to see non-white characters as inherently not as good or as interesting as white characters that they can't really judge fairly.

I know that there are a lot of minority readers out there looking at each other and going 'duh, stupid white man is just figuring this out now!?!?!', so let me elaborate. I've always assigned a certain level of malicious self-interest to this before, that they chose to ignore scenes that run counter to their desired end -- they wanted the show to be about the Hales and Stiles, but, as you put it, it wasn't, so they were going to get back at the production.

But I'm beginning to suspect that white supremacy is so fully ingrained in the culture that it's become like an optical illusion. They literally cannot see the scenes that establish the idea that this is Scott's story and he's the lead protagonist.

As an immediate aside, no one should possibly interpret this as me arguing that white viewers have no obligation to overcome this narrative illusion or that minority viewers must teach them otherwise if they want to be able to participate fully in fandom. Individuals are responsible for their own behavior, regardless of cultural influences!

But it explains how often well-meaning people can come up with interpretations so essentially disproved by the narrative, again and again. People can say that they like Scott but believe that Scott somehow had less virtue, less talent or less claim to the focus within the story.

It's why they can argue that Scott had 'shit control' because he didn't follow Derek, when Scott literally surprised Derek with his control in Heart Monitor (1x06).

It's why they can argue that Scott was a poor student or can't keep a secret or can't bake or can't do any number of things it is assumed that white characters can do without question, how he is a lovable idiot without any positive qualities that weren't given to him by the Hales or Stiles.

It's why they can scold Scott for not being able to tell that Theo was a chimera infiltrator but forget that Derek couldn't tell that Deaton wasn't an alpha and couldn't tell that Jennifer was the Darach.

It's why they hate Deaton for insulting Derek once and not 'helping enough' but think Peter was the Sassiest Happy Fun Uncle who cared for his family so much.

It's why Kira is a placeholder and annoying, but Cora somehow wasn't.

It's why Monroe being slashed up by the Beast, forced to cover herself with her friend's body, and then having to wait there for the sheriff to find her is a 'stupid reason' to start hunting supernaturals, but Scott telling Stiles to go talk to his father about the person he killed and then decided to hide it is grounds for the end of the friendship if not outright revenge murder.

It's why Stiles could never ever trust Morrell because she worked with the Alpha Pack and promised to euthanize him to protect others, but he would love, love, love, love, and have Derek Hale's babies when Derek worked with Peter and spent an entire season trying to murder Lydia.

It's why they so strongly believed that the show should have ended with Alpha Derek and the Hale Family reclaiming their family's legacy, with all the little betas following them around.

It's why the subversive nature of having the hero be the earnest Latino and not the broody white antihero flies over their heads. It's why they conjure up elaborate and self-contradictory fantasies of unreliable narrators.

They just can't believe that this is Scott's story.

I'm finding it harder to believe that every one of these people is a malicious asshole who chooses to ignore canon so they can get their white power fantasy fix. It's exactly how it's been described.

#scott mccall #stiles stilinski #derek hale #scott mccall defense squad #fandom racism

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silverwhiteraven · 4 years

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Beauty and Self-Expression in Wing Culture

So it's like 3am as I start to write this, and instead of sleeping at 2am I was thinking about the Wing AU I've been seeing for Miraculous Ladybug, courtesy of these three lovelies: @justaferal-bastard @thechatsmeow @tizzymcwizzy

[Warning: I got carried away and this goes from analysis, to idea, and then into a short fic-snippet.]

Actual Warning: It gets kinda, like, minor-angst about how the idea works?? More of a potential hurt/comfort at the end, IDK? But it has character growth! We stan Adrien rebellion against Gabriel! And healthy use of beauty products!

Anyways!!!

I love AUs like this that are saying 'What if Idea! What if apply Idea to World!' And then there's me, who likes to say 'Yes, yes! Now lets take World, and apply it to Idea.' And this is what happens.

So I was having some thoughts and things about Adrien and his wings, ya know? The wings are always tucked in close to back, always straight up, always prim and proper and stoic, as his Father and social economic class dictates. It puts people off at first because wings are one of the first things you see, one of the first things you subconsciously assess and judge and take into account. But to anyone who actually looks at the rest of him and stays around him and pays attention to him notice, there's a clear disconnect between how he holds his wings and how his actual personality is. It becomes obvious that his wings are like that from years of following a rule of conduct given to him, and a lot of birdie-see-birdie-do behavior of being around his own family and the Bourgeois.

Basically, wings, too, are subjected to self-images and self-expression. People of higher classes use their wings to show their class, power, and wealth; 'I don't fly' is basically 'I don't have to work for what I want'. Lower classes do that sort of thing less and less, and their wings are used more freely to express the self; not just free in actual movement, but with decorations as well, with things like feather-dyes, jewelry, and fake/decorative feathers and down to make themselves more unique and more like themselves.

Then I thought, well, what else? What about cultural beauty standards?

Well wing-types likely will be subjected to this, much like body-types. Already certain wings already have inherent uses. Falcon-like wings for speed, goose wings capable of long distances, hummingbird's for agility; all these physical traits that may or may not even match up with the main body that on its own also gets told has types meant for certain activities (tall people and basketball anybody?). Imagine all those wings that are colored and shaped like those of Birds of Paradise, though, swoon. But those weren't the thoughts I had.

My thought was the techniques in which beauty standards are met and maintained. Physical things that alter the looks. For the normal body, we have things like paddings, corsets, binders, and lifestyles, too, like dieting and working out. Extremes can even go to surgery.

So here was the specific thought I had about Adrien:

Wing-Binding.

Using unseen binds like netting, straps, or even cords, hidden underneath the feathers and down, to hold the wings in place and in whatever form is wanting to be presented.

Everyone should know that long-term and over-use of anything that restricts the body is unhealthy and can cause damage, even permanently. And I imagine Adrien has been modelling since he was small, too, so he would have been subjectes to it since before he even knew what it was, what it could do. Before he could comprehend what was happening and give consent to it.

Shealtered and with all his social and media intake controlled, he would have no clue that these are things he should be allowed to not do. And, sorry to anyone who liked the picture-perfect Mother Image Adrien paints of Emilie, but just like with him not being allowed to go to school or socialize outside of Chloé, or having to work a job and take unwanted extracurricular lessons and activities, Mama Agreste, at the very least, enabled Gabriel to doing something such as Wing-Binding to their unconsenting amd still-growing child.

Given! It isn't absolute in how bad it is, he can remove them for physical activities like P.E. and Fencing, or when photo shoots are doing Wing-Fashion, and when he's at home, too, but still, all that time in public having to use them because his Father says so sucks, a lot.

And again, the damage it could cause, both to his wings as they grow, not being allowed to stretch and strengthen, but also to the feathers, having to grow past and rub and push against what's holding them or sitting below.

It's kinda heartbreaking thinking how lovely he looks but just how much getting to that pleasing image might have just crippled him.

And then I thought about Chat Noir.

Chat, with wings free to move as he pleases, free to droop and drag, free to stretch and feel the wind, free to puff up and shield another.

And when he stretches those wings, be they magically dyed a new color or made bigger, they now have an emphasis on the burden they bear outside of the magic.

The feathers once unseen when tucked are now out and bare, spread out as he makes himself look bigger while he hisses and intimidates an Akuma. Everyone can see how the edges of his feathers are jagged and don't smooth out, some of the shafts are crooked or even broke, and as he beats his wings, they swear some will simply come out, from the quil and all, and disintegrate before they even touch the ground.

Ladybug asks him about it, and he grins and shrugs, "Probably a stylistic choice on my Kwami's part; they aren't actually that bad when I'm out of the suit."

"Mon gryffon," she calls his attention to her with one of her nicknames, a serious and sad look in her eyes. "Not that bad is still bad. Why are they like that?"

"Bindings kinda chaff sometimes, I think the suit just makes it look really bad," he answers, but he doesn't understand, why is she looking at him like that? A little bit of it clicks. "I thought most did it?"

She shakes her head, spreading her own, beautiful wings to him, and he can't help but reach out and run his claws gently through them. Her's don't show the signs of the Wing-Bindings his do. His head snaps to look down to the Parisians on the streets and those above them in the air, looking for signs of his own condition in the open wings. His heart beats hard and it almost hurts as another piece clicks.

"No, Chat Noir," Ladybug answers softly, "that isn't normal... Whoever makes you use those, they shouldn't have. No one still growing their wings should ever use those, ever."

He nods in understanding. His grin, long gone, comes back as he whipes away the tears that has built and he holds out a hand to his partner. "Care for one last fly before we part ways? I think I still need the practice." Especially since I've never flown outside of the suit, and I don't think I'll get a chance to yet, either, goes left unsaid.

But sometimes realizations like this are a part of the recovery. Chat Noir flies with his Lady, and thinks about how Adrien is going to tell his Father he won't wear the Wing-Bindings again, or at least about how to hide the future fact that he got rid of them all so that he can't anyways. He thinks about how he's going to practice flying, maybe ask Marinette for tips.

Chat Noir, the Gryffon of Paris, adds a new determination for the future, alongside winning Ladybug's heart and defeating Hawkmoth: Let his wings be free, and heal, because he'll be damned if he lets Chat Noir be the only time he ever flies, and, once his role as the Black Cat is over, with no suit to aid him, he will simply burn his Father's company to the ground if he never gets to fly again because of what Gabriel had done.

Anyways!! That was the thoughts I was having, it's 4:30am and I hope y'all really like, uh, whatever this is!!!!

#ml wing au #wing au #miraculous ladybug #adrien agreste #chat noir #willowbendt

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bao3bei4 · 3 years

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kpop music videos that gave their fans sexual brainworms

OR accidental fetish pop and its fringe fanbase: meditations on gendered desire

large warning here: i am someone who has been into kpop for the past 10 years. however, i have always been an extremely casual fan. i do write fic, but not rpf. if any of that makes you not want to hear me talk about kpop rpf (or you don’t want to hear about it in general), please keep moving.

anyway, obviously pop is corporate, soulless, and manufactured. but sometimes some truly bizarre shit gets past the committees and destroys a generation. these are their stories.

the video that started this is all is got7’s just right, released july 10th, 2015.

yes that’s all 7 members of got7 (one is out of frame) shrunken down for your viewing pleasure. they live in your room and tell you you’re just right.

this sheer fetish power of this video is nerfed only by how utterly sexless it is.

they’re styled like and dance like this. it’s a totally unironic sendup of the seminal work that preceded it by four years, “what makes you beautiful” by the white kpop group “one direction.” the chaste energy of the whole thing makes you legitimately wonder if the good people at jyp have just never heard of microphilia. (during a dramatic reading of this piece, here a friend interjected seriously, “i think it’s korean culture not to talk about things like this, fetishes in the workplace.”)

it’s for the best, honestly, though because the actress in the music video is lee ja in, who was 11 when the video was shot. considering that the members themselves ranged in age from 18-23 at the time, i think it’s actually very impressive that we only have to cancel one.

you receive absolutely no prizes for guessing that it’s jackson wang we’re sending to social justice prison. why’d he do this? no one asked.

at any rate, got7 fans, or “gans” (they actually call themselves igot7s which is too twee for me), have much to think about here: all 7 very small members of got7 sneaking into their room, possibly weird age play, and jackson wang eating a very large cake.

let’s see what they actually did.

twitter was actually very tame. the most charged thing i found was (unsurprisingly) from a bts fan (“ban”). i don’t actually know what it means, but i think it means something.

so, of course, i turned to the internet’s last bastion of free speech, where you can say whatever the fuck you want and receive cheers, or as the kids say, “kudos.” that is, i read fanfiction.

for those of you who don’t know your herstory, i started my journey at Asianfanfics.com, where, at the time of writing, there were 12,067 got7 stories. i want to start this by saying that i think feminism won, because someone was paying real human dollars to advertise their irene/wendy fanfiction on a banner ad, which is quite possibly a win for women for everywhere.

anyway, Asianfanfics.com’s search engine sucks ass (i kept on finding stories about different combinations of bts members worrying about their weight and being reassured by another member that were entitled “just right”), so i decided to look through all got7 stories written between july 2015 and december 2015.

but, alas, not a single got7 microphilia fic to be found.

also, some genre commentary while i’m here: i think the stories i respect the most are the “[y/n] is a ordinary girl who’s assigned to be got7’s manager! can she make them into superstars? as sparks begin to fly, can she keep it professional?” like fuck yeah that sounds like a kickass dating sim. it almost definitely already is one. i salute all the teens around the world for buying into the fantasy of dating a boy band member that they themselves sell you.

however, i don’t think i respect the “[member a] and [member b] are mafia/jocks and nerds/college students/high schoolers” concepts. in my opinion, the whole fantasy of boy band member is their personas, their hidden real personalities, their celebrity, and the show business setting. find a different intellectual property if you wanna write about school. i even respect the “yugyeom drank girl juice [not estrogen] and turned into a sexy girl” story more, because at least it knows exactly what it wants, and also because they’re all still boy band members. well, band members. shout out to yugyeom.

so, anyway, i looked elsewhere. at the time of writing, archive of our own only had 11,645 got7 stories, but it does have a better search, so it effectively has more. as an aside, i think it’s so funny, and mildly disorienting at first, that archive of our own separates the “music & bands” section from the “celebrities & real people” section. boy band members aren’t real people.

the first problem i encountered is that only 20 or so stories were written within a year of just right’s release. absolute cringe gans. don’t you care about your boys? there were zero stories tagged “vore” or “microphilia” either. stories containing the word “tiny” that were rated either “explicit” or “mature” were all normal (“normal”) size fetishization rather than, you know, just right.

however, i learned my lesson from twitter. i realized that what had happened was that watching this video had created sleeper agents, just waiting for their activation phrase. that activation phrase? bangtan boys. and yeah, lo and behold, there was one! unfortunately (fortunately?) it had nothing to do with got7, let alone just right, so i’m not going to talk about it.

basically what i learned is that this video may have actually been very normal, and my brain has just been destroyed by being too online at a young age.

however, there are plenty more videos in this genre. i present to you exo wolf, a banger from may 30th, 2013. i say banger, because in a comedic inversion, it’s actually fucking terrible.

this video is pretty self-explanatory in terms of why it might induce certain responses.

let’s get the formalities out of the way. this video, the member who’s getting cancelled is kai. he has braids in this video :/

also skating on thin ice: xiumin and chen. guys what was up with the whole exo-m thing? like, we’re gonna have a cpop subgroup, but it’s going to be part chinese members and part korean members that we’ll give a chinese name? unsurprisingly, the three exo members who have departed from the group are all chinese. they weren’t able to stand the microaggressions probably. but xiumin and chen remain uncancelled as an official chinese apology for five thousand of years of on-and-off invasions of korea. sorry guys that was kinda fucked up. our bad!

anyway, there are basically three avenues for exo fans to take: 1) humans with wolfish characters (usually wolf pack dynamics, which even wolves themselves don’t fucking use so i think all of you should shut up. the real omega here is your brain), 2) werewolves (duh), and 3) wolves with human characteristics (i.e. standard furry fare).

exo themselves let all these possibilities exist at the same time, superimposing them over each other, which is very woke and egalitarian of them. let’s see what the people decided. awoo.

Asianfanfics dot com had many stories in this vein. i feel very validated that this time i was able to correctly predict a fetish. that said, briefly returning to my earlier comment regarding alternate universes: it’s intense psychic whiplash reading about these vampires and werewolves, and going okay okay luhan is a vampire this that whatever, and then seeing the actual real performance photos the author attaches at the bottom of each chapter. bro i forgot these were actual people.... it breaks immersion so bad... i’m sorry, i just can’t believe that any of these dancing boys are having weird vampire sex with wings or whatever.

archive of our own also had many stories in this vein. and i think there are some important difference between the two sites worth talking about.

first of all, i think the higher engagement rate of archive of our own really enables some of the authors to get super bold. it makes Asianfanfics.com seem a little quaint, actually. like the wordcounts are waaay longer, for one. it’s uncommon for a story hosted on Asianfanfics.com to be more than a few thousand words long (most of them could easily be published in the new yorker), whereas some of these archive of our own people have written full length novels about if the members of exo were werewolves. i guess it’s just intensely demoralizing for the aff.com crew to get, like, three comments per story.

the second big difference is that i’m noticing more common themes between the ao3 crew’s writing. like stan intertextuality, or plagiarism, or whatever, but they seem to be implicitly engaging with each other’s characterizations, storylines, and tropes. i think it is because they probably all follow each other on twitter. (i have been active on twitter for three weeks now so i am an expert on fanfiction twitter.)

anyway, like not that i am a particularly big gan (cannot even list all the members), but these people seem to have reached a very specific consensus on how jackson wang, for instance, would react in a variety of situations that really surprises me? if i were to sit down and write a got7 story, i think the fuckboitude, the douchebaggery is a big part of his charm. not to be nationalist or anything, but for god’s sake, he’s from hong kong. but these people have him as very sensitive, lots of protective instincts. not that i understood what anyone on aff.com was doing with his character either, but they did all seem to be doing different things. “kudos” to that, i guess.

but: exo. wolf. i searched the “wolves” tag. this filtered the list down from 33459 stories to 52 stories. and the “wolves” tag was very different from the aff.com “wolf” tag. for the most part, aff.com liked stories where a member was a wolf (usually shapeshifting), feral boy, lots of y/n, lots of y/n dating a feral boy who is secretly a wolf.

ao3 really, really, really likes alpha/beta/omega stories. sorting by the most popular stories, only five on the first page weren’t a/b/o. and one of them was a cis f!baekhyun story, so i think the intended effect was communicated. anyway, let’s talk about some of the themes.

first of all, i’m disappointed. today’s bonus cancellation is of ao3 “wolves” writers. why the fuck are you drawing so heavily from european wolves?? there are wolves in asia!! you don’t need to keep giving their packs and ranks weird latin names. i will kill you. i hate italy. korea literally has a native wolf. i hate all of you!!! if you want to write caucasian wolves go watch that dumbass cw show!!!! my god.

the second theme (the first one was white supremacy) is that no one wants to be a wolf who fucks. i think that we need a sex positivity movement, or something, for omega rights. like, are all of you doing okay? you’re queering misogyny by inventing new genders to oppress. another level to “no one wants to be a wolf...” is the “who fucks” part. there are so many consent issues. and not even in like, a sexy intentional way? in a “i genuinely do not think this author understands how their writing comes off” way. unfortunately i am sensitive to untagged sexual coercion, and there was a lot of that.

at any rate, the aff.com wolves were at peace with being wolves, very self-actualized. the ao3 wolves know that every minute they spend alive on this bitch of an earth is suffering, and also sex.

the third theme is the evolution of y/n. y/n, who, in a startlingly woke move for aff.com, is almost always korean, is a girl main character stumbling into love, boy bands, and wolves (i think it’s because aff.com is oldschool kpop fandom, so therefore heavily asian itself in userbase). but y/n is not the main character in ao3 stories. she is the straight best friend. in what i think is a hilarious move, ao3 authors invert the gay best friend paradigm to give the gay main character a straight girl as best friend. she usually calls him “a gay,” she has lots of thoughts on boys, and she knows his sexuality better than he does and before he does. (sidebar: if all the men are gay, and all the women are straight...)

there’s a really fun twist to this, though, because the main character is always a self-insert in fanfiction. but where older fanfiction like aff.com was at peace with this and literalize it via y/n shenanigans, modern fic writers who haven’t finished distangling their complicated relationship with wanting to be a man who loves other men instead simply imbue their main character with their essence. a little voodoo doll sehun, with a lock of y/n hair.

this creates a deeply ambivalent relationship with gender in these stories. the main character is usually an omega, but one who resents being an omega. their body and its parts is usually described, if at all, as ostensibly intersex (except more offensively), but in practice, these discourses inscribe a trans body. (nb: i think cis writers approach this in a really fucked up fetishizing way, but i hope by this point we know that that goes without saying) it’s incredibly straightforward to read this, and see the underlying desires and fears in a heady cocktail of unfiltered writing that’s deeply confessional. you know when freud had people say whatever the fuck they wanted and figured they’d eventually free associate into releasing their subconscious into reality? yeah.

okay, and while we’re on the topic, let’s talk f(x) nu abo, released on may 4th, 2010.

this is a blitzy, maximalist, amped up dance hit that even has its own applause and cheers built in. it’s so fucking annoying, and i love it.

this song is on here because the second most popular kpop a/b/o story on ao3 is called “nu abo” except it’s about bts. that’s offensive enough in its own right. write something about f(x) (702 works). when will women win the right to have their own self-lubricating holes.

anyway, even though f(x) is probably innocent in all of this, i’m still cancelling amber liu.

for queerbaiting. who told her to look like ruby rose but hot? and for what? i’m also cancelling her for racism, but that wasn’t in this video.

moving on to a double feature: vixx voodoo doll and vixx chained up, released november 19, 2013 and november 9, 2015 respectively. this is because while voodoo doll is more formative, i think the fans who write fanfiction today got into kpop more recently, so we are casting a wide net.

anyway, voodoo doll is jam packed with weird pseudo-medical imagery, blood, vivisection, bondage, puppet shit, femdom, sharps, piercings, asphyxiation, dollification, stabbing/penetration metaphors, and a really sick and catchy dance. god that looks like the list of tags on the a/b/o wolf stories.

for this song, we’re cancelling you, for being way too into this song when you were 13.

vixx voodoo doll made me goth i guess! insert that pic of the your music saved me sign, except it saved me from getting into emo or pop punk probably.

chained up, comparatively, is much more tame. the only thing of note about it is that there are around 10 completely different chokers and choker looks the members wear in this music video. also they’re singing about being chained up, but that seemed a bit obvious.

we could argue that voodoo doll is gay while chained up is gay (derogatory); that voodoo doll is queer while chained up is gay; that chained up is a sensitive masterpiece of omega4omega sexuality. but we’re not going to.

we’re going to talk about what voodoo doll fanfiction was and was not. first, Aff.com had plenty of it. however, i was extremely disappointed to see that much of it did not hew to the spirit of vixx voodoo doll. my god, the voodoo doll becoming the one preying upon you disgusts me. the fantasy of the voodoo doll is that of absolute power. the idea that the doll itself has agency? instantly breaks the fantasy. i’m even not into voodoo dolls and i’m offended.

i also don’t think it’s part of the voodoo doll fantasy to release the doll. the only story on there that involved Y/N kidnapping vixx members like in the music video was unavailable because the author deactivated their account. come back qxeen what did you see.

i think this got off track, actually, in that i was mostly wondering why these people imprinted differently onto vixx voodoo doll than i did. like i don’t think you’re supposed to actually like straightforwardly absorb the morals and aesthetics of music videos like it’s propaganda. however, it’s more entertaining if you do. i hope ao3 doesn’t let me down.

out of the then 5932 works in the vixx fandom (the least out of every group so far, excluding f(x) because they’re women), 59 of them included the word “voodoo” somewhere. that’s 1%. i legitimately can’t tell if that’s high or not.

after some more cursory reading through the first page of popular results, my big takeaway is that people watched that video and wanted to be tortured and enslaved? but not, like, in a sexy way where the torturing is the point, the way where the point is to suffer bravely and beautifully, to endure the world’s harms like jesus on the cross, and then to fall into the arms of a beautiful boy who may or may not be the one hurting you in the first place.

there’s a certain predictability to these fantasies. like it’s not even masochism, which would be fun at least, it’s literally just like the desire to be beautiful, even as you suffer. and i do find that a little boring. (but, i mean, you can’t help being a woman!)

sidebar: on chained up. what’s interesting about chained up, is that most of the then 38 “chained up” works (likely because the video has no storyline) are about the members fucking during chained up promotions. no one’s ever actually chained up, but whatever. it’s fine. it’s fine!

anyway, here, more than ever, the nature of desire is stripped bare. i’ve written before [elsewhere in the unreleased tshirt cinematic universe] on how kpop boys are, through fandom, re-formed as white, or more strongly, i guess, blank slates. it’s really interesting to me how so much of this dynamic of projection is enabled by the fact that they’re asian men. they’re infantilized, feminized vessels; they’re seductive, but childlike, oblivious to their own charms, so nonthreatening; they have uncontrollable desires for sex, they’re scared of sex. and above all else, white women submit themselves to them, insert themselves into them. basically kpop fans tend to rework old school yellow peril and emasculation fantasies to reenact their own desires, often white, often cishet on them.

what i am saying is that there’s another thesis about forced feminization and its racialized subtext in here. obviously gender is a racialized construct to begin with, but like it’s fascinating to argue that when white women remake asian men according to their own desires, that is, into themselves, they (hopefully) unintentionally echo these old fears about the sexual order.

it illuminates, it seems, the underlying dynamic in the denigration of asian men, which is of course the fear of miscegenation. now, my breathtaking ability to make everything about me aside, miscegenation is interesting because it presents a racial synthesis, beginning to collapse and trouble the artificial designations of purity. so we make asian men into white women, and end up with an unsettling hybrid. i’m sure this has deep implications for me personally.

but i think we already knew that quite a few of these people had yellow fever, so let’s talk about the gender dialectic at play. basically, the above dynamic, of making men into women (whether literally, in body; or subjectively, in mind; or even relationally, as they are objectified into passive vessels for your desire) coexists with the ostensibly converse dynamic, in which the straight women desires to be a gay man. these aren’t necessarily in conflict: it could easily be that these are different writers writing different stories, that both are ways of expressing discontent with existing in a raced, gendered body, or even that the end product of both is the same.

it’s been a while without a picture. all of you now have the legal right to hunt and kill me for making a d&g joke.

anyway, what i want to talk about is how these two fantasies can coexist. that by making a man into yourself, you can speak on your own desire in a passive way. my normal interest is analyzing forced masc fantasies (albeit in chinese opera lol), and they bear little to no resemblance to this kind of fantasy. this kind offers plausible deniability, of course, because wanting things is embarrassing. but also the fantasy isn’t about wanting to be a man, it’s about having no choice but to be a failed one. the gender pessimism running through these stories is palpable. basically andrea long chu wants what wolf fanfiction writers know: everyone is an omega, and everyone hates it.

at any rate, this racialized dynamic is one that i wasn’t sure how to bring up throughout this piece, mainly because there is no definitive way for me to tell the race of any individual writer, beyond just like the clear and present vibes that i receive. but i think it structures a lot of the fantasies contained in this essay. (i felt more comfortable bringing up the gendered dynamic, because it was fairly trivial to find out the current gender of the person writing each story i was reading.)

obviously we should return to the specter haunting this conversation: the very much alive david eng. i think this sort of argument is familiar to readers of racial castration, especially his chapter on m. butterfly. btw sorry for mentioning that play 2 out of 3 posts on this blog. i have problems.

let’s talk about the parallel imagery between the depiction of gallimard’s final speech and the fanfiction i’ve described above. in it, gallimard makes himself into his own dream woman, dressing in yellowface and robes, the costume of puccini’s original madame butterfly. and he laments his lost love:

there is a vision of the orient that i have. of slender women in chong sams and kimonos who die for the love of unworthy foreign devils. who are born and raised to be the perfect women. who take whatever punishment we give them, and bounce back, strengthened by love, unconditionally.

in that, i see the self insert, and i see the sufferer of vixx voodoo fic. the fantasy that gallimard has about asian women is repeated, this time about asian men and a helpless identification with them. and on some level, gallimard’s women do have something very compelling to identify with: they suggest that there’s a way to endure white male violence without sacrifice, and even more potently, to enjoy it on some level.

but onward to the titular racial castration. eng argues that gallimard’s wilful ignorance of song’s true gender is a psychic castration -- song’s masculinity is diminished so that his own can be enhanced within their relationship. this, eng believes, acts out “richard fung’s contention that in western imaginary ‘asian and anus are conflated.’” this process stabilizes the relationship between the asian man and the white woman: they occupy the same place within the sexual dyad.

this is, i think, why some people are addicted to writing from the bottom’s perspective. again -- not implying that irl bottoms don’t exist or that bottoms are psychically castrated lol -- but rather that you can fantasize about this ideal asian man that you can come to embody. in kpop rpf, rather than it being between a white man and an asian man (unless someone’s started writing chad future fic), it’s between two asian men. so this transformation is performed. whiteness is always intruding and so i think eng is helpful here to making it visible again.

this essay isn’t a callout or actual cancellation or anything like that, i do wanna be clear. i guess i just like talking about fantasies, even the embarrassing ones, and where they come from. i think oftentimes in fandom spaces, we write a lot of stories off as idfic, and i think virtually every single one of the stories i referenced to write this fairly uncontroversially fall into that category. but i think calling something an “id” something or the other naturalizes the satisfaction it gives as purely instinctual and unconscious, when i do think there are deeper narratives at play. while i didn’t ever actually reference the base here (sorry), i do think it’s worth talking about how real world power shapes & maintains the superstructure, and thereby our fantasies.

anyway in conclusion, maybe i was the one with sexual brainworms the whole time.

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finnicks · 3 years

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fandom/shipping prompt: bellamy & clarke

This is no doubt going to be a very unpopular opinion.

I used to really, really, really like Bellamy and Clarke circa seasons 1 and 2. I felt that they had great, sizzling chemistry; they worked so well together when they were sharing scenes and plots. Clarke encouraged Bellamy to calm down and slow down and trust other people while Bellamy encouraged Clarke to be brave and make harder decisions.

I used to like it as a romantic ship, but then season 2 happened where Clarke disregarded the importance of Bellamy’s life (a boy who had already shown signs of being someone who wore death very heavily upon himself) and lied to him about Octavia (and never seemed to apologise for it; while the show never delved into it, technically Octavia and Bellamy shouldn’t know how siblings function as they never had an example of it, so their co-dependency is one that’s borderline toxic and they got their identity from being related to one another), she took a step above Bellamy. The moment she let Lexa wiggle into her ear with opinions about leadership, Clarke and Bellamy stopped being on an even playing field.

(A side note: It would have been very interesting if we saw Lexa's leadership clash with Clarke's more than it did so. I find Grounder culture, while it has heavy racist undertones, very interesting and it deserved to be fleshed out even further. I know we sort of got this between Lexa and Clarke, but I wish that we had seen more discussions, more political debates. I wish we didn't see White people bring guns to the table and wave them around and close their earholes to the (technically) POC political group who was trying to express to them that this was their way of living. Do I think Clarke ever understood why a little girl back in season 1 had tattoos to indicate her kills? No.)

This would have been interesting if the narrative actually acknowledged Bellamy as a leader himself. It did in the beginning, but he lost his footing and the narrative pushed Bellamy to stand on a step lower to its Queen Clarke. No one will ever be able to convince me that Bellamy was ever considered on the same footing as her post-season 2 given how his season 3 storyline developed and how he lost quite a lot of his own spark and guts as the story developed.

I personally felt like their chemistry was damaged significantly by Clarke’s decisions and the way the narrative framed other characters expressing their frustration with Clarke (whose decisions were sometimes very off-base and incredibly dangerous) as wrong when they were right. While Bellamy did get to express his resentment towards Clarke, Clarke continues to drag Bellamy along and use him.

I feel like what was once a previously great relationship turned incredibly toxic. Bellamy became a foot soldier. The narrative itself demoted Bellamy from “king” to “knight”. Bellamy lost his development for the sake of Clarke. She never learns from her mistakes; the entire show is basically a love note to Clarke’s horrible decisions. And while that’s realistic—our heroine can make bad decisions—she never changes from it.

I also feel like it’s a big problem when your leading man who was originally framed as being an emotional human being (and the story actually honoured those emotions) can no longer express his feelings. Bellamy, who started out in season 1 as Clarke’s opposite, someone who was passionate and incredibly outspoken and someone who was never afraid to call Clarke out, becomes a lap dog for no other purpose than to stand up for Clarke when all the other characters are against her. No one can convince me that Bellamy’s arc soured in the later seasons; his character, the person he was, the person that I liked so much had died in the season 2 finale. He lost his spark.

Bellamy was my favourite character for years. And I no longer recognise him when I see later season stuff. That’s a problem. (Clarke I can recognise because she’s still making decisions on behalf of everyone without actually talking to those people. Clarke is a self-imposed martyr; no one asked her to make decisions for them, but she takes it upon herself and never learns her goddamn lesson. It started to become a problem for me in season 3 and beyond because of how her decisions and lack of care often saw Raven, who has a disability, consistently used and put in danger. Raven was often framed as being mean to Clarke for calling out her bullshit. I am a Raven stan, and even I can tell you Raven was cruel sometimes. But nothing will ever compare to Clarke's cruelty. It's not kind nor is it heroic to consistently make decisions for others and then bail because "It's my burden to bear". Clarke continuously martyrises herself and expects Bellamy to also support that self-imposed narrative.)

While some of the Bellarke fandom is super sweet (the people who read my fics in the past and continue to read them now made me feel very welcome when I dipped my toes in this side of the fandom), the louder pockets of this fandom are incredibly toxic. (Sending death threats to an actress because she is playing a romantic storyline out with the character of Bellamy Blake is not okay. Becho made more sense as a canon ship at the time than Bellarke ever did. No amount of story plot point meta justifying will ever convince me of this because of fandom's actions towards an actress speaks a lot louder than meta.) The way canon developed (season 3 onward was atrocious) and the way fandom carried on about things was a little too hard for me to ignore, which is why I even struggle to watch this show and write from the early seasons. The Bellamy and Clarke I love are in seasons 1-2. I don’t recognise who these people are beyond that.

Send me a ship and I’ll give you my (brutally) honest opinion on it

#my opinions #anti bellarke #anti clarke griffin #the 100 #sorry anon; I USED TO REALLY LOVE THEM #Anonymous #my meta #HERE IS MY 100 RANT THAT I'VE BEEN HOLDING IN FOR YEARS

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sokkastyles · 3 years

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firelxdykatara

Part of what is so incredibly frustrating about Aang’s arc in book 3 (or lack thereof) is the fact that his culture--despite being ostensibly wiped from the face of the planet, and we’ll set aside for the moment how little sense that makes in general, nevermind from a narrative standpoint--has hints of depth that are never explored. @inkmyname touched on it when pointing out that Aang is very selective about which parts of his own culture he interacts with and attempts to preserve

(which he cherrypicks several times over the course of the series, by the way…)

Because while it is absolutely true that AN culture is horrifically underdeveloped, part of that is because the single solitary living Air Nomad is never allowed to actually engage with, question, learn about, and understand his own culture. This is where Guru Pathik never appearing again after Aang leaves in book 2 (to ignore his own culture’s teachings and attempt to hold on to a selfish attachment he was told he would need to willingly give up in order to achieve true enlightenment and master the Avatar State, I might add) becomes a serious issue--because here was an actual, living, breathing adult with an adult’s understanding of an extinct culture, and he just... vanished from the narrative completely, the moment Aang decided that his feelings for Katara were more important than the adhering to the teachings of his people.

Which means that, yet again, what we were left with was a child’s very basic understanding of his own people. He could parrot aphorisms and wise proverbs he was taught by the monks, but he could exhibit no true understanding of them. He could maintain a vegetarian diet (at great strain to Katara, who had to make sure to cook things Aang would be willing to eat, despite having grown up in a climate where not eating meat would mean starving to death) and profess that he cherished all living creatures, but he could not examine when pacifism may not be the right choice--he could not acknowledge that even his precious monks would take lives if they had to. If other lives were on the line. (See: the fact that he never once seems to realize that Monk Gyatso’s corpse being surrounded by a bunch of skeletons in Fire Nation armor means that Monk Gyatso killed living breathing human beings in an attempt to defend his own people. I do not think he would have hesitated if an entire city-state were directly in the line of fire, no pun intended.)

If you took any twelve-year-old and froze them in a time capsule and woke them up a century later, they may be able to remember some proverbs, a verse or two from some religious text, a few general rules governing social behavior... but they would not be able to reconstruct their entire culture based only on their fallible childhood memories and a few recovered artifacts.

And it is explicit, in the text of the show, that Aang is perfectly willing to discard the teachings of his people when they conflict with something he wants. His people’s teachings say that he should release his attachment to the girl he likes--he evidently misinterprets this to mean he must forgo all connection to her (which is never so much as implied, and if the tenets of Buddhism were to actually be adhered to, giving up his attachment to her wouldn’t even mean that he couldn’t still love her and that a relationship would be out of the question if she loved him in return--merely that his selfish attachment to her needed to go, because he was not entitled to her feelings. this was a lesson he desperately needed to learn, rather than being rewarded for his selfish behavior by having Katara realize at the literal last second that oh, yeah, she really DID have feelings for him), and refuses on the grounds that... he wanted to date this girl who had never once shown romantic interest in him. Because that’s certainly worth throwing his own people’s teachings about spirituality and enlightenment right in the trash.

So the argument that killing Ozai would have killed the last remnants of his culture, and so he needed to find a pacifistic solution in order to preserve them, already doesn’t hold water--because Aang showed very little concern for preserving his people’s beliefs, or anyone else’s (he’s actually... pretty disrespectful of other cultural practices at numerous points in the show and is never really taken to task for it, by the narrative or any of the characters), at any other point in the show. And something that this particular segment of the fandom always loves to claim is that in saying that I’m saying that I wanted a kid to murk a dude on screen in a Y7 show--but that isn’t it at all. None of this is to say that Aang should have killed Ozai (although whether he was allowed to remain alive should have been up to a tribunal of EK and WT citizens, not just the Avatar, but that’s another discussion entirely)--but it is to say that Aang being able to take a third option was not handled well, either from a story perspective or a character one.

What we should have gotten--and what Book 3 seemed to be primed for--is a season long arc of Aang finally mastering the Avatar State and completing his character arc. The foundation was there, the potential beats were lined up, the earlier hints (such as an entire episode dedicated to showing both Aang and the audience that sometimes the object of your affections doesn’t like you back, and that’s ok, because if you love them you should want them to be happy, and if we just ignore the last twenty seconds that completely undermines the entire message [particularly in light of the epilogue] then we’re golden) there to provide some structure for the remainder of his arc.

Instead, what we wound up with were a bunch of useless filler episodes leading up to the failed invasion (which had some gems, like The Puppetmaster and Sokka’s Master, but when weighed against episodes like The Headband and Nightmares and Daydreams, it’s hard to say if they were worth the cost), and then Zuko’s journey into the gaang’s good graces crammed into the last few episodes before the finale. It isn’t until the episode before the finale that Aang even admits to anyone that he can’t enter the Avatar State, and it isn’t until the finale that this is actually ‘resolved’--by a pointy rock showing up at the exact right place to, i guess, jar his chakras loose. Because that’s how it works.

The result is a season that has some of the best single episodes in the series, while having the most disjointed plot, the worst pacing, and the least satisfying finale out of all three seasons. In HP fandom vernacular with which I remain intimately familiar, AtLA may have won the game, but season three absolutely did not catch the snitch. And I haven’t even gotten into the fact that Aang’s moral dilemma over needing to kill Ozai should have come up much earlier in the narrative--prior to the eclipse invasion at least, if not even sooner than that, but I still cannot fathom what Aang planned to do to the man if he actually got to him before the eclipse ended and he was powerless--because this post is already long enough.

The upshot of it all is, though, that Aang’s arc is deeply unsatisfying for a lot of people because it relies on contrivances in order for him to even survive the battle he was supposedly training the entire series for. And he was handed every victory he actually achieved, particularly in that final battle, rather than earning them via his own choices.

He didn’t choose to seek out the lionturtle--it kidnapped him. He didn’t choose to regain the Avatar State--he was thrown against a well-placed rock and it was reactivated automatically. (I know I frequently engage in percussive maintenance myself, but come on.) He did choose to ignore Katara’s words and body language and kiss her anyway--and he was then rewarded with a relationship without so much as apologizing to her for his actions. (And, notably, Katara was given no space on screen to work through her own feelings--it was just assumed that they were there, and she had them for Aang, and it was just a matter of him being persistent enough that she realized it. Which is very much not the message we should be sending the children to whom this show was aimed and marketed.)

I really can’t find anything in Aang’s arc, as presented in the show (rather than the idealized version a lot of Aang stans seem to have constructed for themselves), that is meant to be some sort of ‘ideal’, either from an irl perspective or from a story one. And it remains a constant source of frustration, because all the tools were there, all the potential was there--it’s just that none of it was ever realized by the narrative.

@firelxdykatara I want to reply to this in a different post because I don’t want to continue arguing on OP’s post anymore. The thing is that it does seem like there was an attempt made to build this conflict up, but it was just...forgotten. Which is especially weird when we talk about the parallels between Aang and Zuko, because there are several places where Aang’s internal struggle is paralleled with Zuko’s. And this is part of what makes Aang’s arc not hold up to Zuko’s, unfortunately.

One of the things that should have been explored about the Air Nomads is the fact that they actually did Aang quite badly by telling him that he was the Avatar too early, and that seemed like it was an important plot point and part of Aang’s internal struggle...until it wasn’t. A lot of people say that Aang’s desire to avoid conflict and be a kid is an Air Nomad trait, and it kinda is, but from what we saw in the flashback, we know that not all Air Nomads were like this, and Aang’s relationship with Gyatso - which I REALLY wanted to be explored more - was actually contrasted with the rigid ways of the other monks. We saw this in Aang and Gyatso playing pranks and in how Gyatso tried to shelter Aang and let him be a kid a little longer, which he should have been able to do. Aang ran away because the Air Nomads were trying to take him away from Gyatso! This is a pretty standard coming of age plot, growing up and realizing that not every adult is good and right all the time and has your best interests in mind (Zuko also learns this in his flashback, in much more violent way). And Aang was so angry and hurt and betrayed when he recounted it in “The Storm,” and it’s a direct parallel to the way Zuko’s father betrayed him. What happened to that? What happened to that anger? What happened to “how could they do that to me?!”

But there’s no follow up to this. I think they could have done more with the Guru Pathik character possibly in order to fix this, like maybe showing Aang being resistant to learning from him because of those lingering negative feelings. But then, Pathik himself is one of the weakest parts of the story, and is little more than a racist caricature. That’s part of the problem.

Similarly Aang trying to reconcile his unhealthy attachment to Katara and his love for Katara was part of his internal struggle...until it wasn’t. And once again it’s paralleled with Zuko’s arc. Like, the episode where that conflict is introduced, “The Avatar State,” is the same episode where Zuko chooses to go with Azula back to the Fire Nation and chooses his unhealthy attachment to his father instead of Iroh. This conflict runs through that season (again paralleling Zuko’s arc) and is brought up again in the finale for book 2, and the resolution is even hinted at:

Aang: Well, I met with this guru who was supposed to help me master the Avatar State and control this great power, but to do it, I had to let go of someone I love. And I just couldn't.

Iroh: Perfection and power are overrated. I think you were very wise to choose happiness and love.

Aang: What happens if we can't save anyone and beat Azula? Without the Avatar State, what if I'm not powerful enough?

Iroh: I don't know the answer. Sometimes, life is like this dark tunnel. You can't always see the light at the end of the tunnel, but if you just keep moving, you will come to a better place.

There we have it! Aang didn’t need to give up his love for Katara, nor did he need to exchange her for power. It’s a false dichotomy. The show is really good at setting up false dichotomies only to break them down in other places, but with the Avatar state arc they just...don’t quite manage it. It seems like they were trying to set it up, too, by paralleling Aang’s fall at Ba Sing Se with Zuko making the wrong choice, but there’s no follow-through.

Instead of Aang experiencing a conflict with his cultural identity, suddenly the Air Nomads become these idealized figures who are always right in book 3, primarily so he can lecture Katara and Zuko on the evils of revenge. If this is Aang trying to hold on to the last vestiges of his culture and not wanting to acknowledge how his last interaction with the monks was a negative one, the story needs to show that! THAT would be an interesting character conflict! But instead they drop that story entirely and make it about whether Aang is going to kill Ozai, because Aang is so good and wise and everybody else suddenly wants him to kill for some reason. Which of course he isn’t going to do, because it’s a nickelodeon show. It’s not just that the lionturtle is a deus ex machina, it’s that it’s a solution to a problem that never felt like a real problem and was put in place of actual real character conflict.

And although I’m not a huge fan of Kataang, this absolutely could have been done WITHOUT sacrificing Kataang. When the narrative suggested that he needed to give up Katara to become the Avatar, when Aang went into the Avatar state and said “I’m sorry, Katara,” I actually shouted NO at my screen. Because Aang should NOT have to give up love in order to become a hero, and that’s not what the Buddhist idea of getting rid of earthly attachments means, anyway. It means getting rid of unhealthy attachments, and as you said, that was shown in Aang’s behavior towards Katara. And it seemed like the writers were working towards Aang having a realization that his behavior towards Katara was unhealthy, that if he loved her he needed to actually have a real conversation with her about her feelings and give her space to say no (even if she says yes in the end), and that never happened.

There’s also a reason Iroh has this conversation with Aang in book 2. If we want an example of someone who has achieved a spiritual balance in their life, and given up earthly attachments in favor of living simply, Iroh is that character, and he’s a much better example than a westernized Guru caricature or a twelve year old spouting pithy aphorisms about revenge, because Iroh’s wisdom comes from experience. And Iroh’s advice is that sometimes life is like a dark tunnel, and that you need to go through the dark to get to the light. Iroh also admits that he doesn’t know the answer, because like all truly wise people, he is wise enough to know that he knows nothing. That’s why Aang having spiritual knowledge handed to him so that he can avoid having to make a decision feels like a cop-out. The show didn’t even tell us until the last second that what the knowledge was was energybending, because the writers KNEW it was a cop-out.

And the choice between power and love? Is not even made. Aang still gets to have a super special power bestowed upon him and beats Ozai because he learns how to bend energy, the most powerful and special form of bending of them all, guys. It’s actually super frustrating because the writers CAN resolve this in a meaningful way. They do it with Zuko, who also has super special powers bestowed upon him in the climax of the story, but in the end it’s not power, it’s his frienship with Katara and his willingness to sacrifice for her that saves him. Wasn’t Aang supposed to be making a similar choice about Katara? Hmmmmmmmm.

#not tagging because i don't want to keep arguing about this

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beacon-lamp · 3 years

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Thoughts on dreams response?

so i read the 19 page paper and then watched dream’s response video. don’t really know what the discourse surrounding his response is bc ✨i don’t care enough to go purposefully looking for it ✨

my overall thoughts on the Entire Situation under the cut because i talk A Lot:

first and foremost, the math in the paper is Incredibly Thorough. dream gave the Abridged Version in his video bc i doubt most people read the entire thing. but if you read the paper, you’ll see the author point out what calculations the mods did wrong and, more importantly, why they were wrong and how they fixed it. you’ll also notice that they mentioned several times that the results the author calculated did match some of that of the mods’ calculations. we love reproducibility.

questioning the credibility of the author is a waste of time and energy. they’re Anonymous for a reason. imagine getting a fucking doctorate in statistics (an additional 4-8 years of study after college in the US) and your biggest paycheck of the year comes from some dude in florida who plays minecraft for a living. jokes aside, you can argue in circles about “oh dream bribed the expert” but the intentions of the author and purpose of the paper are clearly stated in the first couple pages. before all the math stuff. people were so quick to believe the stuff in the paper the volunteer mods put out. why not believe the expert too?

there is a greater lesson here to be learned about bias. both for and against dream. it was Incredibly Concerning to see So Many People immediately jump to “dream cheated 100%” or “dream would never cheat he’s the best” before understanding all of the facts. i’ll admit, even i fell into this trap before i took a step back from the situation to look at the big picture. we all have biases, many of which we aren’t even aware of. but it’s always important to recognize those biases and account for them as much as possible before drawing conclusions, especially those that have real world implications. it’s also important to listen to Experts and those who Know More Than You. sometimes you just have to shut up and listen. you’re not going to know everything and that is Fine as long as you are open to Learning from those with credibility and knowledge. you’re going to make mistakes and have opinions you’ll later look back on and *cringe* and all of that is fine because we are all Growing and Learning.

aight let’s talk about the mods. i’ve already like vented in the tags of a post from like 2 week ago and my point still stands. statistics is Very Difficult to Do and unfortunately is an Incredibly Powerful Tool. there is No Right Way to do stats. the data is unbiased but the analysis and interpretation of that data can be. once again, that’s why it’s important to account for your biases. the mods tried. i’ll give them credit, i really do believe they Tried. but unfortunately trying sometimes just isn’t Good Enough. statistics can be weaponized to push forward an agenda, whether or not the author intended it. i know that this is “just minecraft” and it only affects “one person” but inaccurate publications or misrepresentations of data have Real Life Consequences. one Disproven and publicly denounced paper had people Believing that vaccines cause autism, contributing to the antivax movement that is Once Again having an impact during coronatime. the point is, the mods should’ve consulted a professional. someone with credentials about their math. there is no doubt in my mind that they knew the fallout that was to come. the drama this would stir up. there was Obvious, Documented bias against dream from the beginning. i’m sure there were people who wanted to take him down at least a peg or two. but once again, that’s no excuse to publish this without consulting a Credible Expert. i’m going in circles now you get the point, academic integrity is Very Important. also News Outlets have reported on this, overall shedding a pretty negative light on the minecraft speedrunning community as a whole, which also harms the mods too in my opinion.

finally, let’s talk about dream. if you don’t like him, that’s fine. it’s Okay to Not Like Someone. to Stop Watching their content. to Stop Supporting Them. dream responded incredibly immaturely to this entire situation, as we have seen him do Multiple Times before. personally, i don’t believe the excuse “i acted without thinking and i’m sorry” cuts it anymore, given his 14M subscriber count and 1M+ twitter followers. he is a grown adult and should learn to conduct himself better publicly. i have friends his age and this behavior in a professional setting, which for him twitter is because social media/ content creator is quite literally his job, would be Completely Unacceptable. it’s perfectly valid to be angry and yell about it to his friends, hell i’d be Furious. but he should know better than to tweet impulsively. feel free to draw your own conclusions on him as a CC and public figure. please do. i know “cancel culture” has deviated from it’s Original Meaning (much like the term “stan” has too) but hold content creators accountable for their actions. do not blindly defend him. at the same time, acknowledge that he is a young adult who is still growing and learning. these two ideas can and should coexist. however, ***do not accept apologies that are not yours to accept***. shut up and listen to others who know more than you about a particular thing. think for yourselves. draw your own conclusions but always be willing to Grow if/when you Learn New Information.

the world is Complicated. i’m sorry. i wish it were easier too.

in conclusion, i can’t believe *this* is the first time i’ve used statistics knowledge outside of an academic setting and in the Real World. 2020 is fucking wack. if you’ve made it this far, thank you for coming to my incoherent ted talk. no one is going to read this whole thing and i’ve accepted that.

#anon #so apparently i had a lot to say #in classic Beacon Lamp Fashion it's rambly and kinda coherent but also probably repetitive bc im not good at writing #also no one is going to read this and thats ok #discourse #discourse tw #Anonymous #also didn't proofread it before publishing so

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