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#tw discussions of death
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Does Caleb find comforting that whatever Philip does Philip won't let him die?
I mean, personally I'd be even more freaked out by that. Different people have different views on death and immortality of course, but the inability to escape or be reunited with your loved ones even in death is an imprisonment all its own (and now I feel extra bad about making Caleb live 400 years haha oh no I'm so sorry buddy)
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lesbianlovelanguage · 2 years
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Invest your love, Invest your life
Continuation of my Death!Steve au. Contains discussions of religion and different afterlifes. Also tagging the people who seemed to really like the first one, cause y’all are the ones who got me to continue thinking about this au. Let me know if you’d like me to remove it/not tag you in the next one. @neonponders @mayraven1798 @quantumlocked310 @metalheadcowboy 
On a cool night in the middle of night, two figures laid side by side in a meadow full of wild flowers. To any outsiders, they looked like just two boys, probably getting high and avoiding their parents. They’d be half right, Billy was definitely high and avoiding Neil after the man came home in an absolutely foul mood. 
But there would be no way they could guess that one of the figures was Death himself, especially because the other boy simply called him Steve of all names.
But Death he was. Luckily for them, there were no observers though. No one to witness Steve swing his arms wildly in front of him as he recounted his more ridiculous soul pick-ups. No one to witness Billy’s utterly besotted face as he watched Steve rant about a slumber party turned satanic ritual, and how he really hadn’t wanted to deal with Lucifer that day, the guy’s a total dick with the worst hair. 
“Wait, Lucifer is real?” Billy asked, sitting up and staring at Steve intensely. “Does that mean if... you know, when I... Would I have gone to hell?” His usually harsh voice always softened around Steve, but now it got smaller and smaller until he practically whispered the last word. Steve sat up too, frowning at the serious turn their conversation had suddenly taken. They hadn’t talked about the night they met ever.
“I mean, I don’t think so,” Steve said calmly. “I can’t remember what your file said exactly, but you aren’t Christian are you?” Billy weakly shook his head. Sure he wore his mother’s St. Christopher necklace, but he hadn’t actually believed in God since she left. What kind of God left a kid to deal with Neil alone after all?
“No, I always liked Norse myths better.” He didn’t mention that he always dreamed of his mother being more like Freya, who rode into battle and took half of the most valiant warriors with her to a beautiful field after their death.
“That’s right!” Steve’s pinched expression disappeared as he remembered the brief snatch of Billy’s file, something he had desperately tried to scrub from his mind before then. “It was Folkvangr! Freyja and Odin got in such an awful spat about it.” Steve looked so proud of himself, eyes gleaming like the starlight above them. Billy wasn’t sure what to say.
“You’re lying,” is what ended coming out. “I’m not even a warrior. Plus, if Lucifer is real, how can Freyja and Odin be real?” 
Steve shrugged and looked down at his lap, beginning to pluck at the blades of grass, weaving them together. “It’s not a one or the other, Billy. They all exist. It just depends on what the person believed in.” Billy sensed that the conversation was making the usually jubilant and hyper Steve uncomfortable, though he wasn’t sure why. So, he tucked away the on-coming existential crisis and nudged at Steve’s pale knee with his boot. Steve looked back up, though he wouldn’t make eye contact. 
“So, what’s Jesus like, if Lucifer is such a dick?” Steve made a weak attempt at a smile, but started to explain how different Jesus was from the human expectations and was actually the one who introduced Steve to weed. Eventually, the exuberance came back, Steve’s hands resuming their wild flailing and eyes bright, and Billy relaxed into the soothing cadence of his voice. 
He didn’t move his foot away though, instead moving closer and eventually laying down right next to Steve’s sitting form. He fell asleep on the grass, under the stars, with stories of different gods from various pantheons bickering over the tiniest things. 
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velichorus-k · 4 months
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The second installment of this comic right here. In which the gang hangs out :) pages under the cut!
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celluloidbroomcloset · 4 months
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"The atmosphere on this ship is fucked. Everyone knows why."
"I don't. Enlighten me."
"Your feelings for Stede—"
This scene has been picked over a lot, but this is the first time I noted the speed with which it happens, including how clearly Ed himself knows what Izzy will say, and has from the moment he walks on deck. It's the culmination of an emotional violence that has been there since the start of Season 1 and that focuses on how and where Ed is allowed to express his feelings.
It's Ed who decides to make the discussion public, and Ed who challenges Izzy to say, out loud, in front of the crew, exactly why Izzy thinks the atmosphere is fucked.
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Ed's acting unhinged a moment before, but as soon as Izzy speaks, he's very present—because he's been pushing for this to happen. The tone of voice he uses when he says, "Enlighten me," is similar to the sarcasm in his voice back in "Discomfort," when he says, "Sounds stressful, Izzy." He's not daring Izzy to say it's about his feelings; he's waiting for him to.
Izzy barely even gets Stede's name out before Ed is nodding and pulling the trigger. It's not at all what Izzy later says—"He took my leg because I dared to mention your fucking name." The exact words are "your feelings for Stede."
In Season 1, Izzy has insisted that his words to Ed about Stede be spoken in private. He never discusses it with anyone in the crew. The only time other people are present for those discussions is when Izzy insists that Ed send Stede to "doggy heaven," and then Fang has an emotional breakdown (and for a good bit of Season 1, Izzy treats Ivan and Fang as an extension of himself). The crew know that Ed is in love with Stede, but Izzy does not speak about that in front of them. Izzy's verbal violence about Stede, and his attacks on Ed about Ed's feelings for Stede, are always out of sight and hearing of the crew.
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But he does speak to Stede's enemies about it, and Ed knows it. Izzy has told Calico Jack that Ed is "shacking up" with Stede. Spanish Jackie also knows, and so do the English, because that's how and why Izzy sold Stede out. Ed is aware, from the moment that Jack uses the term "shacking up," that Izzy has been speaking publicly about Ed's relationship with Stede.
Ed himself does not talk about his romantic or sexual relationships. Other people do—Calico Jack, Anne and Mary, Izzy—but Ed is not public with that information, even saying that “our private lives are our private lives” (echoing Stede’s statement to Jack: “Ed’s past is Ed’s business and I respect that.”). The times when Ed makes his feelings toward Stede known, even implicitly, are private—the “fine things” scene, the kiss on the beach, even the stabbing scene, all are between Ed and Stede. No one else is meant to witness those. After Stede has left him, Ed’s grief and the reasons behind it are clear, but he still conceals it with a song “about someone else.”
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Ed keeps his softer emotions hidden and private, or tries to, because he’s been conditioned to believe that they’re dangerous to have. And they are—Jack makes them the subject of derision, and Ed is explicitly threatened when he makes his love for Stede too publicly visible. Izzy invades his private spaces (his cabin, his personal space) to berate and expose his emotions, mockingly calling Stede Ed’s boyfriend. The discussion of emotions that Ed tries to keep private are always initiated by Izzy, and the discussions are always violent and derisive.
The crew themselves do not know what has led to Ed shooting Izzy. They haven’t seen the escalation of violence and violation, going from emotional violence to physical—and the initial toe-cutting scene is very much Ed invading Izzy’s safe space to enact violence on him, just as Izzy did to him. They haven’t been witness to the threats and the danger that Ed has increasingly experienced and that in part led him to putting on Kraken in the first place.
The shift that happens in “Impossible Birds” is Izzy once again invading Ed’s space, where he’s caressing and then concealing the groom figurine, to prompt the discussion of emotions. What Izzy thinks is a result of him speaking Stede's name and ethos is actually a result of him invoking, again, Ed's emotions about Stede as a way of manipulating him. But this time, Ed is going to make him do it in front of the crew.
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It is, in a sense, an expansion of "the love that dare not speak its name.” If “everyone knows why,” then Izzy is going to have to say it. So the moment on deck is Ed forcing Izzy to publicly expose the things that have been concealed: Ed's private emotions that Izzy has broadcast to his enemies but never to his friends, and the violence that has been attached to those emotions. They're going to "talk it through," but Izzy has made talking it through violent and unsafe. Now what had been private violence is going to be public.
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bluebyrd-screaming · 5 months
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I find it fascinating that Venra gave almost everyone a choice in their death, even if they were all doomed from the beginning
She told Perry that it's all better in the moment just before you get everything you want and that he doesn't have to pull the sprinklers. He still makes the choice to turn them on
She told Camille that she doesn't have to go back there, she literally says that she could have killed her in her sleep. She still goes to collect evidence that no one will ever see
She tries to get Leo to buy a different cat, she shows him all of the other options that are suffering and need a home while the black cat already had offers and wasnt for sale to him. He still chose to buy the black cat
She keeps telling Vic that she's worried about the human trials, can she please get confirmation from Ruiz that this experiment is safe, are you sure you want to go through with this. She still chooses to use the mechanical heartbeat
She just keeps telling Tamerlane to get some rest, even after Tammy keeps falling asleep in the middle of conversations and cannot function. She still chooses to go through with Goldbug and attack the voices telling her to rest
She asked Roderick and Madeline if they were sure, from the very beginning asked what they were willing to give up for all of the fame that they could ever want, she gave them the ultimate choice as to their fate. They chose fame and fortune for a short life over a long one with less certainty of money
But she didn't give a choice to everyone
While all of the other children got a choice in how they died, Fredrick didn't. But that's because he had already made his choice. He chose over and over again to be vindictive and hateful, to be drunk on power. He was willing to let his wife suffer just to see what was in her phone and when that didn't work he decided to slowly poison her and finally when he ripped out her teeth, then Venra said "enough". He made his own bed without any input from Venra because she wasn't the one asking him if he was sure, it was Lenore. Lenore asked at every turn if her mom was safe, if she was seeing specialists, if they could go to a fancy facility that could keep her safe. Lenore just wants her mom to be okay, and Frederick decides to rip out Morrie's teeth in anger. So yeah, he made his fucking choice
Lenore didn't. She was the only Usher that was never given a warning about not tempting fate, and that's because she was the only Usher who cared about someone other than their own bottom line. Lenore was sweet, and kind, and wanted to make a difference, so Venra didn't need to ask her if she really wanted to tempt fate. No, she needed to make her comfortable with the inevitability of her end. That her kindness wasn't for nothing. That she didn't go out in a blaze of self destruction like the others. Because Lenore didn't tempt fate, she didn't throw around daddy's money to get everything she could have ever wanted, damn the consequences. No, she died because of a choice that someone else made for her before she was a thought un anyone's mind. She died because someone else didn't care about the consequences of their actions as long as they could be rich and famous in the here and now
Lenore didn't get a choice because neither did any of the victims of the Usher family's rule
They just died as after thoughts, collateral on the way to ultimate power
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vhvrs · 7 months
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...................................so. fusionfall 2008.
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infizero-draws · 3 months
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(daily affirmations) i can be normal about egg memo 17 i can be normal about egg memo 17 i can be normal about
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bamsara · 1 year
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Please stop
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uncanny-tranny · 11 months
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This might be controversial to some, but you cannot "tough love" your way to preventing suicide. You cannot have the attitude that people who complete suicide are selfish or are ungrateful or immature. If your mindset about suicide isn't coming from compassion rather than judgment, it won't help suicidal people. You will never help us with a slap on the wrist and a lecture about how we're awful for even thinking about completing suicide.
Suicide intervention starts with compassion and care.
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bananadramaaa · 2 years
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TW: mention of death
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Back to the regular schedule program of silly doodles✨
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kattidiot · 6 months
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Quillsh Wammy/hardtack stimboard
🇬🇧 | 🇬🇧 | 🇬🇧 | 🇬🇧
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Where I am excited for the Bad and Tubbo lore to come out of the fact they both died
Richas has just about witnessed the deaths of not 1 but 2 people who are usually not affected by death as much as an egg.
That is probably going to have consequences tm
I think of it in terms that I relate to and that I have so warning, "Someone who is supposed to see me die has now died before me." "People who were supposed to see me for longer know what I accomplish, under such reasonable circumstances see me age and grow. Are gone" And that's kind of hard, in my own grief which for me is mostly the second part, that has hurt more then losing the person (granted I hated them)
And where Tubbo has the whole revial thing already planned out, they didn't know for a day
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frownyalfred · 8 hours
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WHAT IF
Jason knows that killing joker means him dying too but he still want to do it
HOWEVER- Bruce jumps in front of the joker at the last second bc he can't lose his son one more time
That's where I was thinking that idea would go too, anon. And so Jason and Bruce's conflict over the Joker gains a new edge, because not only does Bruce not want to take a life -- he doesn't want Jason to die again, like you said! Even if that's what Jason wants.
I could imagine a Jason who came back slightly wrong, who might be suffering from the Lazarus Pit still, who cannot abide by the Joker still being alive, who would be sick with grief, anger, and resentment.
And maybe, to add even more angst, Bruce wanted to kill the Joker too -- when Jason was still dead? And Clark stopped him. Now he can never kill him without losing Jason too. It's kind of like the universe mocking him a little bit, isn't it?
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nelida-alvarez · 2 months
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Tomorrow
@charliemwrites
I debated for some time whether or not I should post this, but in the end, my desire to share stories won.
Cw/Tw : mentions/discussion of losing faith (religious) & mentions/discussion of child death. Take care of yourselves <3
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It was rare for Nélida to be uncomfortable. Sure, there were things that annoyed her, things that stressed her and things that made her afraid. She wasn’t ashamed to admit that- she was human, and it was in Men’s nature to feel, whether the emotions were positive or negative. Things that made her uncomfortable though? Things that made her skin crawl with unease and the desire to be anywhere else than where she was at the moment? Those were rare. Oh, they existed. And they made her soul tense up when mentioned.
“I don’t think that’s right, though…” Nova said, sprawled on the couch with Keegan as they argued. Nikto was sitting in a love seat, doing crosswords almost absentmindedly as he quietly listened to the sergeants talking. Castle was reading a book, not really paying attention. Meanwhile, Nélida was sitting on the ground in front of her Captain, her back leaning against his legs.
“No, I’m quite sure… It's like that thing with Adam and Eve, right? Banned from Paradise for touching the forbidden fruit or something.” Keegan replied.
“Adam and Eve were expelled from Eden to prevent them from eating from the tree of life, which would have made them eternal, not because they ate the forbidden fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil.” Nélida absently corrected, shocking the two sergeants into silence. Noting the absence of talking, she blinked and looked up, meeting the bewildered gazes of her team.
“What?” She asked, a bit confused.
“I didn’t know you knew so much about… Bible-y things.” Nova said, tilting her head in curiosity.
“Oh.. yes, I guess I just… never talked about it.” Nélida tensed slightly, her hands playing idly with Castle’s shoelaces.
“Are you Christian?” Keegan leaned forward, eager to know more about her. A small pregnant pause followed the question, broken by a shuddering breath Nélida took.
“…was.” She whispered. Nikto frowned, shuffling in his seat.
“Oh.. well, what is, or was maybe, your favorite Bible quote?” Nova frowned a little at Keegan’s question, eyes darting between his oblivious self and Nélida’s crisped expression.
Castle had put his book down, lips pursing at the tense atmosphere in the room. He let one of his big paw-like hands slowly come down to rest against Nélida’s nape, the weight reassuring.
Keegan, realizing his mistake, opened his mouth to apologize, before being cut off by the older woman.
“It..” she started, clearing her throat as her voice broke.
Nikto crouched down next to her, presenting his gloved hand, palm up, to her. Nélida took it, taking a deep breath, before starting to speak once more.
“It is… or was, perhaps, Isaiah 41:10." She admitted, clearing her throat once more.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean-" Keegan started, before being cut off by Nélida throwing a small smile his way.
"It's fine, amor, you didn't know."
Silence reigned for a while, before Castle hummed.
"Well now, what do you all say we play a game, hmm? Anyone up for strip poker?"
As Nova got up to go take the cards, Nélida squeezed Nikto's hand in thanks and threw a grateful glance over her shoulder at her Captain.
~~~
Nélida prefered to be the big spoon when cuddling. She just liked that position better. But sometimes, she just wanted to be held, to feel like nothing could hurt her when she was safely cocooned in her lovers' arms.
Castle rumbled quietly, scratching at Nélida's scalp gently.
"What's bothering you so much, mamí?"
"...just.. memories.." The woman mumbled, her voice slightly muffled due to the fact that her face was burried in the older man's pecs.
"Wannna talk about it?" Castle gently asked, like she was a feral animal that was being cornered.
"...Perdí a mi bebé... Mi hijo- mi hijo sólo tenía dos años y- murió..." She erupted in cries, Nélida's body was wracked with sobs, the comforting weight of Castle's hands caressing her back seemingly ineffective.
"I prayed.. I prayed so fucking much-! And my s-son, my son still.. still-!" Nélida gasped breaths in as Castle grounded her, his voice in her ear telling her to breathe helping.
"Doctors said it was CNS tumors..that there was nothing they could do, that- that it was too late.. that I noticed it too late.."
"I just- I- I miss him so much.. I wondered, why God? Why my son?" Her voice broke on the last word, trailing off into whimpers and sniffles.
Castle hummed, pressing a kiss to Nélida's forehead. He didn't quite know what to say, but he knew that what Nélida had said had probably been weighing on her for quite some time.
It took a while for Nélida to calm down, her eyes puffy and red with her anguish.
"Thank you for listening.. I-.. it's probably not fair on you, but I really needed to talk about it.."
Castle smiled sadly, a thumb drying one of his mamí's tears.
"I know this was difficult to talk about, but I'm glad you let it off your chest, love. If you ever want to talk, know that I'm here. If you don't want to talk and just want someone to hold you, I'm also here." He said, gaining himself a wobbly smile.
"Thank you, Castle... I really appreciate it."
Thye both knew she would hide anything was wrong the next morning. That she would burry her feelings deep inside her heart until they rose to the surface again. But for now, they fell asleep. Tomorrow would be different.
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"...Perdí a mi bebé... Mi hijo- mi hijo sólo tenía dos años y- murió..." : “…I lost my baby… My son- my son was only two and he-.. he died…”
~~~
Isaiah 41:10
“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
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a-dorin · 7 months
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motherhood in star wars
this has probably been discussed before, but the theme of motherhood and being a mother in the realm of star wars media has been on my mind lately.
here is my question: why is theme of motherhood in star wars so fucking tragic?
first of all, most (not all) mothers of force-sensitive children have their children taken from them at a young age so they can join the jedi order. and the worst part is that these mothers never really see their children again because the order forbids attachments. it is so heart-breaking to have your child taken from you to join a weird, cult-like order where you will never see them again. there is a sense of loss and suffering in that aspect.
then we have a plethora of characters who are mothers and DIE (leia, padmé, shmi), who lose their mothers or lose someone close to them after becoming a mother.
padmé amidala literally loses her life to complications of childbirth. she did not even get to experience motherhood before her life was ripped away from her. it's so upsetting to me because of her eagerness to raise her children with anakin and live a life of happiness with her new family.
leia is born an orphan who has no mother (yes i know she is adopted by bail and breha) but she literally comes into this world without her biological mother because her mom dies from the complications of childbirth! then, leia loses her son ben to the dark side, only to sacrifice herself in the sequels. which, causes rey distress because she was a mentor and (sort of) a maternal figure towards her!
shmi skywalker literally loses her relationship with her son after he departs with qui-gon and obi-wan. and she literally also dies after reuniting with anakin once more in aotc. she loses the one thing that meant the most to her (ani - her pride and joy!) and does not get to fulfill her role of raising him into adulthood.
while hera does have an adopted family (zeb, ezra, sabine, chopper) she does not get to experience the life with the family she created with kanan because he literally dies. while she received the ability to be a mother to jacen, she lost her spouse.
why does being a mother in the star wars universe only bring you tragedy, loss, and even your life? what do the writers have against womanhood and motherhood? i am aware there are good portrayals of motherhood in star wars, but 75% of the mothers suffer.
it's infuriating to me, and i am sure it's just rambling, but it truly is so upsetting that we do not have many feel-good, healthy, fulfilling portrayals of motherhood in star wars. women deserve to see it. everyone deserves to see it.
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narc abuse truthers will be like "i'm not ableist against people with npd you guysss :( i swear i only use narcissist in a way unrelated to npd!!" and then will reblog posts with these tags
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[image id: #narc abuse #npd is fake #narcissism #anti npd #tw narcissistic abuse #tw narc abuse mention #narc abuse is real #surviving narcissism]
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