#two of us in the server got nothing new it's full of 2☆s and a 3☆ dupe

[sylhea-raemi]

someone's flexing their many 4☆ that they got today i- WE are not okay

#OUR LUCK WENT TO THIS ONE PERSON LMAO #and so like enseka gave us free rols right #two of us in the server got nothing new it's full of 2☆s and a 3☆ dupe #LIKE HOW WHAT IS THIS LMAO #raemi talks proseka #this is so unfair lol #it's 1 vs everyone of us now

[pattywagon2go]

Valve, Team Fortress 2, and My Frustrations

DISCLAIMER: Do not, and I repeat, do not, harass anyone at Valve. This helps nothing. This post is purely my own opinion and I do not represent the TF2 Community in any way. Feel free to disagree with anything I say here.

I normally don’t comment on these types of things, but with how much of a nerve this struck with me, I figured I couldn’t remain silent on it anymore. In light of the recent takedown of Team Fortress: Source 2 and (to a lesser extent) Portal 64 shuttering its doors, I want to talk about Valve and its mistreatment of Team Fortress 2, from letting the game rot with cheating bots and cheaters roaming servers to making false promises to the community so desperate for any kind of fix from the only people who can fix TF2.

Before I get into that, I want to address the takedown stuff regarding Team Fortress: Source 2 and Portal 64, as there's been a lot of misinformation regarding both of these fan projects.

So to get everyone up to speed, one day ago (at the time the script of this post is being written), Team Fortress: Source 2, a port of TF2 to Source 2 using S&Box (the spiritual successor to Garry’s Mod), and Portal 64, a demake of Portal 1 to run on the Nintendo 64, both had their plug pulled after Valve filed a DMCA Copyright Takedown to TF: Source 2's Github repository, and after the dev for Portal 64 got a message from Valve warning them not to continue. The reasoning for TF:Source 2's takedown appears to be because the game used assets ripped from TF2, which is very much not allowed by Valve, while Portal 64 shut its doors not because Valve filed a DMCA takedown, but because the dev got a message from Valve saying that they shouldn't continue since the project relies on Nintendo code libraries.

If you want more information, there's a great video explaining it here, but either way you chop it, Valve shouldn't be called out as having changed their stance on mods, because they haven't. A mod, by its definition, is a modification to an existing game. The first Team Fortress was a mod of Quake I, not a full remake of it in a different engine. Something like Portal: Revolution, a mod for Portal 2 which adds in a brand new campaign, and TF:Source 2 are NOT comparable at all simply because one is adding to a preexisting game, while the other is basically a carbon copy of said game but in a different engine. And low and behold, Valve was fine with Portal: Revolution, while Valve wasn't fine with TF:Source 2. You cannot say that Valve's stance on modding has changed when looking at TF:Source 2 simply because TF:Source 2 isn't a mod to begin with. And in the case of Portal 64, first of all the rhetoric that Valve filed a DMCA takedown isn't true at all. If so, you would have seen the list of DMCA takedowns on Github increase by two. Valve just messaged the dev creating Portal 64 with a warning that they shouldn't continue due to it using proprietary Nintendo libraries. And if you don't know already, Nintendo is infamous for how hard they are on anyone who uses their properties without their permission. If anything, Valve should be getting praise for this for stepping in and preventing a powder keg from exploding in front of this dev's face. And even if Valve did say nothing about it, Nintendo would have said something about it eventually, and we all know how that could have turned out. Frankly, the simple warning from Valve is infinitely preferable from the ways Nintendo could have easily ruined the person who was making Portal 64's life forever.

So now that that's out of the way, time for the actual meat of the post. Time to discuss Valve's treatment of Team Fortress 2 and the community at large.

First off, how did we get here to begin with?

To make a long story short, TF2 had an issue of cheaters roaming servers as far back as 2019, but it kicked into high gear in 2020, when cheating bots were swarming Casual servers left and right, making the game unplayable for many. And this continues to this very day in 2024, 4 entire years after this whole mess began.

This isn’t even hard to prove, all you have to do is queue for Casual and you’ll find a bot immediately (all names censored to not give the people who run these things attention).

For 4 years straight, TF2 has been ravaged by cheaters and bots hellbent on ruining the game. And what has Valve done about it? Mute and gag free-to-play players, make some changes to how votekicking works, etc. Except all of these were just stop-gap solutions, not actual solutions which could fix the issue long-term. For four years straight, Valve hasn’t even made an attempt at fixing the larger issue whatsoever, while the bots just became worse and worse as the years went by. Now, it’s almost guaranteed any lobby you join will have bots in it. There’s basically nowhere in Casual that isn’t safe anymore.

"But what about savetf2?"

Good point. Let's talk about that.

This is the one I’m most salty about, as this was the very FIRST instance Valve actually acknowledged the state the game was in, and they promised to do anything about it.

For anyone out of the loop, in 2022, a bunch of people within the TF2 Community banded together to get a hashtag on Twitter trending called #savetf2, as a way to get Valve’s attention to the state of the game, due to the bot crisis having gone unresolved for (then) two years. What shocked the community was Valve using the official Team Fortress 2 Twitter account to acknowledge the hashtag, saying “TF2 community, we hear you! We love this game and know you do, too. We see how large this issue has become and are working to improve things.” 

You can still find the tweet here:

At the time, this was huge. Valve, a company infamous for their lack of transparency, had finally responded to the community, promising to fix things. Flash forward two years later, did anything substantial come from this?

I wish.

Valve did their thing and went radio silent once more. No follow-up tweet, no blog post, absolutely nothing. And especially no bot fix update.

And now (at the time of me writing the script for this) #savetf2 is trending once more to bring back Valve’s attention to the issue.

Personally, I can't help but just not expect anything from Valve at this point, because why should I? Why should I expect Valve to do anything when the last time this happened Valve blatantly lied to everyone by saying they were going to do something to fix the issue, yet they didn’t (and so far) still haven’t?

The community, as a whole, have done everything we can to get Valve to do anything.

We bought the new cases and keys.

We bought Tour of Duty tickets for Mann vs. Machine.

We even broke the record for the most players online at a given time.

Valve, thanks to our support, is still actively making money off of this game. And lots of it, at that.

We gave you (and continue to give you) everything, Valve. You gave us (and continue to give us) nothing we want in return.

And this isn't even an isolated example of Valve not being open with the community. Remember the 2023 Summer Update? It was a fairly decent update, which added in a lot of cool community created content, but the leadup to the update was yet another example of Valve not being honest with the community.

Originally, Valve advertised the update as an “Update-sized update”, meaning something bigger than the usual holiday stuff like Smissmass and Scream Fortress. And when people saw that, everyone went crazy. It was a dream come true. Valve would return with the milk at last. Everything would be so great and awesome aaaaaaaaaannnd it was changed sometime later to say “Holiday-sized update”. And everyone was disappointed again.

(Evidence)

Now whether you think this was an accidental miscommunication or a malicious rugpull is up to you. Which one is actually correct we will never know because Valve hasn't (and still hasn't) told us yet! And knowing Valve, this is something I expect they will take to their graves instead of telling the community exactly what happened!

This lack of transparency is exactly the problem I have with Valve.

Valve isn’t being open and honest with the community at all, and this results in false expectations and promises being broken.

Alright, time to preemptively address some of the inevitable criticism I’m going to get with this post.

“Oh what about the new cosmetics, taunts, maps, etc., Valve still cares, you're being too harsh.”

With regards to cosmetics, taunts, maps, etc., first of all, those are all created by the community. Valve had nothing to do with those. Second of all, that’s doing the bare minimum. It doesn’t take a genius to go on the Workshop and approve a certain amount of cosmetics and maps to package into a seasonal update like Scream Fortress and Smissmass. Valve is only feeding us the bare scraps in terms of keeping players engaged. Yes, it’s keeping us alive, but only barely. That isn’t something someone who actually cares would do.

And here's the thing: Don't get the people who work at Valve and Valve as a corporation confused. Valve has some awesome people under its belt, yes, but the people do not represent the company. Valve, as a corporation, only cares about making money. They do not care about you in the slightest. All they see you as is a walking wallet. Valve is very much making a lot of money off of Team Fortress 2, from literally anything that is being sold off the Mann Co. Store. As far as Valve as a corporation is concerned, if the money continues to roll in, why bother doing anything more than the bare minimum?

“If Casual sucks so much just go play on community servers”

Community servers are a fucking mess to begin with. Ads, weird plugins, unwelcoming communities, along with it being more of a “Hang around” experience vs the pick up and play experience Casual offers makes them unappealing for most, if just not an option at all. Community servers only make sense if you are familiar with the community of said server. If you aren’t, then you’re more than likely going to be scared away because of how overwhelming it can be. Casual’s pick up and play nature is much more appealing, especially for new players. Think of it like a new kid who joins your class at school midway through a semester. Everyone knows each other already, so everyone else is fine with being together, but for the new kid, they may stick out like a sore thumb. It may become overwhelming for them. Casual doesn’t have this issue at all, since you are thrown around with different people each time. Community and Casual servers are two completely different camps, so saying Community servers should be the solution just won’t work on a fundamental level.

"The bot problem is complicated, it must be hard for Valve"

Oh most definitely, but even then, what exactly is stopping Valve from simply communicating this with us? Valve's lack of communication with the community is what's causing people to run wild with speculation as to whether a fix is happening or not, and this only results in false promises being made and expectations not being met. If Valve was open about how hard the bot problem is to fix, then I wouldn't be making this post. But that's not the case, and look where it got us. Rock fucking bottom.

“Valve isn’t structured like other companies, people don’t want to work on TF2”

The first part of this is definitely true, Valve is indeed different. Valve employees are free to work on what they want instead of being forced by upper management to work on stuff. But the thing is, if Valve, a company valued at $7.7 billion, can’t find people to help work on TF2, then what the hell is stopping them from asking others to give it a shot instead? There’s plenty of absolutely talented devs who have been working with TF2 for literal YEARS at this point who Valve could absolutely send out a job offer to. Why not them?

“Major updates are hard to do”

This one kinda ties into the one above, in that Valve could hire people to make content for TF2, but I wanted to address this one in a more personal way.

Here’s a controversial take: I don’t want a major content update.

What I want is Valve to finally be honest with us.

Valve’s inaction and radio silence has driven the community up the wall for 4 years straight in the hopes that something was coming to remedy the bot issue. Yet nothing has materialized so far. And the thing is, if Valve absolutely doesn’t want to work on TF2 anymore, why won’t Valve just tell us this? Why do they continue to keep the door open to a possible solution despite the current situation showing nothing is coming from Valve? Why do they continue to leave the community on a cliffhanger as to whether they will help us eventually or we’re going to be on our own for good? It’s this dishonesty from Valve that absolutely boils my blood and leaves me with zero faith in whether anything is coming for TF2 at all. At best, Valve has just said nothing. At worst, Valve made promises to the community about things getting better yet they would either do nothing or change the story last-minute with no explanation whatsoever.

If you made it all the way through this rambly post, you must really care about Team Fortress 2 as much as I do. I love this game and seeing its current state makes me sad. But what makes me angry is the lack of any actual work from Valve whatsoever. Valve had four entire years to fix things, yet didn’t. When Valve finally acknowledged TF2, they only gave Band-Aid fixes to the issue. And when the community asked for more, Valve gave us empty promises that they never acted on. 

I didn't make this post to dunk on Valve for the sake of it or to cause people to boycott Valve. I made this post to show that Valve has a history of dishonesty with TF2, and any and all things that Valve says or promises that are beyond the usual stuff we should expect from Valve at this rate should be met with intense amounts of scrutiny, because Valve is very likely going to break any kind of promise they make to us beyond the stuff that is to be expected from them.

Valve is not honest to the Team Fortress 2 Community. 

Valve is not transparent to the people who continue to hold up their aging team-based first person shooter game from 2007.

Valve does not care about people like you and me.

#savetf2 #valve #team fortress 2

[griffintail]

The Start of Something

Summary: It’s the start of a beautiful story on the Dream SMP.

Pairing: Wilbur Soot x F! Reader

Previous | Next

Warnings: Swearing

A/N: So the reader will have a set hair and eye color but I hardly ever mention those facts so it’s not going to be that big a deal. It’s just a point of the plot.

Oh and (Y/U/N) means YOUR USERNAME.

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(Y/N)’s POV

---------------------

         I spun in my chair, adjusting my beanie as I waited for the exact moment my stream was to start. I hadn’t exactly talked to anyone on the SMP but it was still fun to stream on there. Soon, my timer went off and I fired up the stream.

         “Hello magical people! Welcome back to another wonderful day on the SMP! I have levels today so hopefully we won’t need to bother Mr. Soot. We’re going to actually try and talk to people today if we’re able so, let’s see who’s on!”

         I logged onto the server, hitting tab to see who was on.

         “A new name! Purpled. Something tells me I want to give him the Lilac.”

<(Y/U/N)> Hello good fellows! \o

<Tubbo_> Hello! \o

<WilburSoot> Hello Ms (Y/U/N)

         I smiled at the responses as I went down to my flower chest taking out a lilac as I glanced at chat.

         “Two new names? Oh! Yeah, sorry guys, I already met the Dream team. They gave me a tour offline. I’m sorry. I’ll pop by and maybe say hello to Mr. Sapnap.”

         I asked for Purpled’s coordinates, meeting up with him to give him his flower before going back towards my house.

         “Wait, why is everyone telling me to hide my brewing stands?” I raised an eyebrow as I looked at chat. “I mean, I guess? I’m just confused.”

         I kept my eye on chat trying to figure out was going on as I went home when I saw in-game chat.

<WilburSoot> general 1

         “Is something going on with the gentlemen? Is that why you’re telling me? I’m not going to hop on the discord just yet because they weren’t talking to me.”

         I was very curious though. I came towards Tubbo’s house seeing several of them outside his house. Tubbo threw his brewing stands at Tommy and then they all dashed into his house.

         “Some shady deals going on there don’t you think? Should I check on the children like the good mother that I am?” I asked chat as I hesitated outside the gate.

         There was a resounding yes in the chat and I chuckled as I adjusted my headset, the boys leaving the house.

         “Ok, let’s give them a ring.” I pulled up discord taking a deep breath as I looked at their call before going in as I went back to the game. “Gentlemen?”

         The first thing I heard was one of them scream and laughed as I followed them on the path.

         “WOMAN! You must leave im--" Who I could assume was Tommy start before Wilbur cut in as they stopped in-game.

         “No wait Tommy, remember we need to make sure everyone knows.”

         I raised an eyebrow. “Know what?”

         “Do you have any brewing stands or blaze rods Ms. (Y/U/N)?” Wilbur asked as though it was the most urgent matter.

         “I mean yeah at my house and enderchest…”

         “No, no, that’s not good as soon as we help Tubbo we need to collect yours as well.” Tommy declared and I smiled slightly at his dramatics.

         “And may I ask why gentlemen?” I questioned as we started to walk again.

         “Their code is all wrong! It’s all broken and if you have any you’ll just explosively shit!” Tommy exclaimed and I snorted putting a hand over my mouth.

         “You should probably watch your language Mr. Innit but this is of the upmost concern then! We must help everyone! But what are you gentlemen doing to protect yourself?”

         “We have a disposable sight elsewhere, as soon as we gather everything, we’ll get rid of it!” Wilbur declared.

         “Well then let’s get to the nearest ender chest now!” I nodded in-game before sprinting towards Tommy’s house. “How long until it comes into effect Mr. Soot and Mr. Innit?”

         “Soon, it’s of the upmost urgency that we dispose of them as quickly as possible.” Wilbur said.

         “Actually, I know, I know how I can get there quicker.” Tubbo commented seeing him drinking a potion. “I have a speed pot.”

         “Oh thank, oh thank god! Run, run.” Tommy commanded.

         “That’s good, potions are really, really good. You should always use potions as often as often as possible where ever you can buy them.”

         Now I see where this is going, shaking my head, I still followed all of them towards Tommy’s; Sapnap, Tubbo, and Tommy in front of Wilbur and I as Tubbo let out a confused sputtering.

         “Don’t worry, I’m sure, I’m sure something will come up.” Wilbur brushed it off.

         “I can hear starting to come up we need to get the blazes rods out! Get it out!” Tommy shouted, causing Tubbo to shout, making confused shouting to happen as I walked through the gates of Tommy’s area.

         “Ok! Ok! Ok! I’ve got ‘em! I’ve got ‘em!” Tubbo announced.

         “Ok! Hand them to me! Now! Now!” Tommy demanded.

         “Take it! Take it! Take it!” Tubbo chanted as he threw them but as Wilbur and I stopped in front of them, Sapnap punched Tommy away and took all the blaze rods.

         The shouting quieted as we watched Sapnap in surprise.

         “He’s gonna, he’s gonna shit. Just watch him.” Wilbur told us.

         “Oh boy.” I muttered, crouching as I backed up with the rest of them.

         It became a jumble of words as the boys backed up to what Tommy called the Power Tower but I broke from them, deciding to go around the other building he had called the Cuck Shed, dashing for the ender chest. Sapnap was too focused on them as I went in to see my own gear.

         Grabbing the stack of blaze rods, I hesitated as I hovered over my full netherite set, smirking to myself as I already knew the chat’s answer. I muted on Discord looking at my Twitch chat.

         “Should I be ready to become the goddess chat? I mean, as far as I can tell, Tommy and Wilbur have nothing and Tubbo has iron but Sapnap now has all the cards with enchanted diamond sooooo…”

         Before I had even finished my sentence, the chat spammed yes with the emote of me holding a shield, with a face that meant I was ready for war.

         That’s my chat.

         I grabbed my armor, axe, and sword but didn’t put it on as I sprint to catch up with everyone retreating towards the woods as I unmuted.

         “You tell them why they’re breaking the law Wilbur. Tell them why.” Tommy said as I stood behind Sap and Tubbo.

         “They have the, they have the brewing stands. Aren’t they gonna like shit themselves if they have them?” Sap questioned.

         “Yeah.” Tubbo realized.

         “No, no, no, no, no.” Tommy protested. “We’ve got equipment.”

         Everyone stopped as they started talking over one another.

         “You really can’t follow us.” Wilbur said once it quieted down.

         “What is the disposal system? Can we see it?”

         There was a brief silence before Wilbur spoke.

         “Yes, yes. Come with me.” He sounded hesitant but still lead us further into the woods. “If you come with me, we’ve, uh, got a mobile disposal unit out here. That we’re using to, dispose of it.”

         Over the hill, I could see it and I muted my discord as I snorted once more, a hand over my mouth muffling it. It was an RV, a van.

         “This is all about drugs isn’t it?”

         I unmuted as I listened.

         “I’m going to ask that you don’t come inside.” Wilbur instructed.

         “Yeah, you have to stay on the other side of the river please.” Tommy agreed.

         “It’s dangerous. It’s dangerous.”

         I watched Sap get closer, carefully following behind him as they protested. If anyone was going to fight the, “operation”, going on here, it was him.

         My assumption led to be correct as Sapnap spoke.

         “Wait, Tubbo, (Y/U/N), I don’t think it’s a disposal system.”

         “Wait, it looks like a drug lab or something.” Tubbo went.

         Wilbur started muttering to Tommy as Sapnap sprinted towards the van.

         “Are you guys…? I need to look for myself.” Sap said before going into the van, I quickly following having tried to block him but got pushed in.

         He went into the back room with Tubbo, I being able to see in and see the line of brewing stands.

         “These guys are…”

         “You guys are drug dealers!” Tubbo exclaimed, pulling a sword.

         I looked at Tommy and Wilbur before stepping forward, showing my netherite one, making Tubbo step back.

         “And so, what if they are? What are you going to do about it?” I asked.

         “We have a court house for things like this!” Tubbo reminded us.

         “Who says they’re going to court? You aren’t the law.”

         “Are you with them (Y/U/N)? Have they’ve gotten you addicted to, to this?” Sap questioned.

         “No, I’m not an addict to anything.” I huffed as I typed to Wilbur. “So, I suggest you just hand over those blaze rods.”

You whisper to WilburSoot: Distract him to face away from me.

         “No, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

         “Tommy, I think, I think we should go.” Wilbur said moving for the door out.

         “Where are you going?” Sap quickly asked following them so they didn’t get away, turning his back to me.

         I smirked as I glanced at the chat seeing the spam of emojis as I equipped my gear, Tubbo retreating further back into the van, terrified of my armor. I shook my head at him in-game before putting a shield on, stepping out.

         “All of you are going to court.” Sapnap declared on the other side of the river.

         I leaned into my mic, putting on my crazy sing song voice. “Think again~!”

         I crit him with my sword, setting him on fire, causing him to scream as he dove for the water. He blocked with his shield but I dove in with no mercy and hit him with my axe before using my punch bow to push him out of the water. He started sprinting away as I ran after him.

         “What are you doing?!” He shouted.

         “Taking back what isn’t yours!” I grinned before critting him three more times before the text appeared in chat.

Sapnap was slain by (Y/U/N) using [The Goddess’s Sword]

         “Mr. Soot. I suggest picking this up.” I said as I leaned back in my chair, everyone silent except for Sapnap protesting.

         “How could you do that?! You’re going to team up with drug dealers?! This isn’t allowed!”

         “Oh yeah? I think the text says it all. You got KOed by the Goddess bitch.” I smirked as the chat shouted out pogs and cheered. “General 2 men!”

         I switched Discord rooms as Wilbur came over picking up Sapnap’s gear getting the respective achievements for the blaze rods and diamond gear. Two pings went off in Discord, I laughing as the silence was filled.

         “Holy shit! That was insane! Holy shit!” Tommy kept shouting. “Sorry mum!”

         My laughs died to giggles as I looked at Wilbur.

         “Soooo, you guys need a little hired help?” I asked. “Because, that was my application Mr. Soot.”

         There was a moment of silence.

         “Fair enough. What’s the price for your services Ms. (Y/U/N)?” Wilbur questioned.

         “Wait Wilbur, a WOMAN helping us?” Tommy questioned now.

         I chuckled as I came towards Tommy, who backed up quickly, leaning into the mic again. “You want to question me?”

         “No! No ma’am! I’m sorry ma’am!” Tommy quickly sputtered.

         “I didn’t think you’d be quite so…intimidating Ms. (Y/U/N). You seemed quite nice after all.” Wilbur spoke up.

         I leaned back again as I noticed Tubbo’s name tag no longer in the van. “It’s all about appearances Mr. Soot! Take a look at your lovely van! Seemingly innocent on the outside but all the excitement in the back. All good business men and women know that you need to have the good exterior but when the time comes, you need to stab a bitch. And I don’t need any payment, just a place in your business and the supply when I need it.”

         He chuckled. “Alright, well welcome to the team Ms. (Y/U/N).”

         “Excellent! Let’s get to work.” I clapped my hands before going into the van with the two of them.

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Third Person POV

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         Wilbur had been trying to desperately take the bit back on track. He hadn’t planned for someone to just derail it as such but then (Y/U/N)…She stepped in from nowhere with stacked gear. The psychotic but beautiful sing song voice had given him a shiver as he watched in shock as she slayed Sapnap with ease. As he was stuck in his shocked, silent state and grabbed the gear, he noticed his chat spamming the words, The Goddess.

         Was that another name for her? Was she an expert at PVP the same as Dream and Technoblade? It would explain how Dream might know her. Another highly praised PVPer? He would have talked to her.

         He just hadn’t expected such intimidation from the lady that had brought flowers to every new player on every server she had been on; the same lady that called people Mr. and Ms. and gentlemen. It was quite interesting, Wilbur wondered if she was like that in public, polite and kind until the situation called for another girl.

         Maybe he should get to know the woman himself.

#wilbur soot x reader #mcyt x reader #mcyt imagine #dreamsmp x reader #mcyt fanfiction

[lightns881]

DTeam Tumblr Demographics Survey Results (Part 1):

The Gifted Child Syndrome is Real with this One...

*Rubs hands together in preparation for some juicy data and in-depth analysis of the typical member of the DTeam Tumblr community*

Ooooooooh boy! Here we go!

I want to start of by thanking you guys for over 400 responses to the demographics survey! Y’all have no idea how much I appreciate it! We have so much to cover, so I’m going to divide up different sections of the survey into several posts to make it more digestable and do justice to each topic explored in the form! We’re going to start of with, you guessed it, personality types!

Strap yourself in because we’re about to thoroughly dissect your sub-conscious innerworkings and find out how the typical DTeam Tumblr Fan thinks! (And judging by the majority personality types, you guys will probably enjoy it)

The Delicious Data

From the 449 responses we received, this is a pie chart displaying the personality types of all respondents.

Image Description: INFP (40.5%), INTP (15.1%), INFJ (8.9%), INTJ (8.9%), ISFP (6.9%), ENFP (4.2%), ISTP (4.0%), ENTP (3.8%), ESFP (1.6%), ISFJ (1.6%), ENTJ (1.3%), ENFJ (1.3%), ISTJ (1.1%), ESTP (0.4%), ESFJ (0.2%), ESTJ (0%)

In comparison, this is a pie chart displaying the personality type percentages of the population as a whole according to the MBTI website.

Image Description: ISTP (14%), ESFJ (12%), ISTJ (12%), ISFP (9%), ESTJ (9%), ESFP (8%) ENFP (8%), ISTP (5%), INFP (4%), ESTP (4%), INTP (3%), ENTP (3%), ENFJ (2%), INTJ (2%), ENTJ (2%), INFJ (1%)

I don’t know about you guys, but I’m sensing a tiny difference here... Oh, right!

INxx’s on the Loose!

It’s funny. When I first found one of the 18+ DTeam fan servers through Tumblr, I asked everyone what their personality type was. I was pleasantly surprised when a lot of them told me they were INFPs like me!

It actually reminded me of MatPat’s (Game Theory) survey for one of his Life Is Strange theories that found the majority personality there was also INFP...

Funny enough, can you guess what the second leading personality on that survey was? The third? The fourth?

You probably guessed it right. MatPat found that out of the fans who responded, the leading majority was INFP while INTPs came in second, INFJs came in third, and INTJs came in fourth. The exact order for the personality types in DTeam Tumblr.

But why is it that some of the rarer personalities of the world are dominating DTeam Tumblr or Game Theory’s fanbase? What is it about these communities that attract the rare introverted Intuitive Perceivers (INxP) and Intuitive Judgers (INxJ) of the world like magnets?

The Gifted Kid Syndrome

To answer this question, first we have to examine our leading personalities. As we can see from the data, INFPs and INTPs make up 55.6% and INFJs and INTJs make up 17.8% of the total respondents. That’s nearly 3/4′s of the DTeam Tumblr population made up of INxx types!

Now, here’s me calling y’all out.

A lot of you probably relate to the quiet kid sitting at the back of the classroom who’s put into some type of TAG, gifted program, or some authority figure has probably called you smart and/or “gifted” at some point in your life. Academics probably came easy to you at one point, maybe they still do.

You’ve probably felt your chest swell up at the shower of compliments about your intelligence and at another... you’ve probably felt like people put you in a pedestal and overrate you so you’re stuck with this inherent fear of failure, and it causes you to completely shut down when the things that came easy to you at one point no longer do so. 

It’s gifted kid syndrome hitting you like a brick to the face. And if it hasn’t yet, oh you’re in for a surprise, honey.

And I’m sure many of you have come across funny, relatable posts like this:

And you want to know why most of you relate?

Image Description: INTP, INTJ, INFP, anf INFJ’s rate the highest in a giftedness per MBTI Type chart

No. You’re not hallucinating. It’s not even a joke at this point. It feels true because it probably is true.

(Granted, the study that captured similar results to this graph is long lost to the internet, but the best source I found with it was a reddit post I will be citing in the reblog.)

Now, my next point is where we find a split.

INFPs and INTPs and their Need to Question Everything (even if it’s about one sentence [insert creator here] said that one time during a 4-hour long stream)

The strongest connection I found between the two leading personalities of DTeam Tumblr is they share Extraverted Intuiting (Ne) as their auxiliary cognitive function.

I’ll use a quote that explains Ne better than I could ever explain it in my own words:

“Extraverted intuition or Ne is very much focused on patterns and making connections from information they gather... Ne dominant users enjoy being able to explore things in a much more open manner, not wanting to feel closed off to the possibilities around them... They are also highly imaginative people, who enjoy being able to come up with unique hobbies and experiences... They are not afraid of imagining things which seem almost impossible to others... [For INFPs,] Ne is what creates this detailed and incredible thoughts process which keeps them busy for long periods of time.”

And another:

“Auxiliary Ne manifests in people constantly questioning the world around them, but unlike ENxPs, they can be more pick and choose about this. But generally, they don’t take people, things and events at face value.“

Now, think about the community you’re in right now. Think about the post you’re reading at the moment.

DTeam Tumblr is full of over-analysis posts, whether about Dream and George’s secret love for each other or about the inherent problems with Dream’s shipbait and gay jokes or theories about what’s going to happen next in the dream SMP lore and the dramatic betrayals and creator’s descend into madness and more theories about sexuality and charts depicting creator’s personalities and what they’d be likely to do in different scenarios and... ooof, I’m out of breath here. You get my point.

DTeam Tumblr is literally a group of ex-gifted or gifted introverted people who love to read or write analysis, theory, and discussion posts about sweaty Minecraft Youtubers because they’re probably too overwhelmed by real life and find joy in obsessing over “dumb” things.

That’s it. That’s literally the post. I might as well end there.

But I won’t. 

Because obsessions is exactly what I want to focus on next.

The Inherent Nature of the INFP and their “Micro-Obsessions”

This is me having a one-to-one conversation with all my INFPs reading this.

Do you sometimes just set your mind on a goal--like, let’s say, writing a book--and you spend so much time obsessing over it to the point where you burn out and suddenly it never sees the light of day because you move onto your next goal or obsession because now you’re getting ready to launch your freelance website so you can start a business on [insert new hobby here]?

Or do you just suddenly find a fandom or a show or a channel you really enjoy and you spend the next few months doing nothing but engaging with it and reading fanfiction and drawing fan art or making dumb analysis posts on your main Tumblr account where suddenly you get an influx of followers from that community and now people are expecting you to just post about MCYT!?

Oh, sorry, I got a little carried away at the end there...

Anyhow, my point is, do you ever develop an obsession over something all the sudden only for it to just disappear when you find something new or just fall into the deep crevices of your mind only for it to maybe reemerge a few years later after you get a deep sense of nostalgia remembering it?

I call them micro-obsessions. And I recently found out, I’m not the only one who does this!

Here’s another quote for you: 

“According to Carl Jung’s theory of cognitive functions, when an INFP makes a decision, Ne comes in second to another process known as Introverted Feeling (Fi). Fi does not use logic to make a decision. It uses how we feel about the decision according to our values. In other words, it asks, “Which choice feels right for me?”

Ne, on the other hand, craves new ideas and experiences to explore, which causes INFPs to always be on the lookout for something novel.

Unfortunately, INFPs can get stuck in a loop, going back and forth between their Ne and Fi. They search to understand their values by constantly trying new things. They ask themselves, “Does this feel right?” then throw it over their shoulder as they move on to something else.”

So, you’re probably asking right about now, Light, how the heck does any of this have anything to do with the Dream Team and MCYT!?

Well, my friend, it has EVERYTHING to do with the Dream Team and MCYT and DTeam Tumblr as a whole.

Because INxx’s are predisposed to end up in places like this--fandoms on Tumblr, channels that speculate whether Mario is evil, watching dramatic Minecraft smp wars and elections as opposed to looking at the news that depicts Murphy’s Law as 2020′s new favorite epigram. 

The introvert in them causes them to prefer socializing in small communities online where they’re not forced to engage in conversations if they don’t want to or put into uncomfortable situations where they have to talk to that one friend of their friend who wants to make meaningless small chat.

Their Intuition causes them to wonder into places like Tumblr where they can engage in deep discussions about their newest obsessions, and they won’t be judged for writing a 500+ word post about why Dream’s shipbait tactics are a genius algorithm strat or simping over sweaty Minecraft boys.

DTeam Tumblr is a safe haven for INFPs and INTPs who might be placed in the “other” category or marked as weird for being interested in “childish” entertainment or being different from the general population overall, whether that’d be sexuality, point of view, age, gender, etc. A place where you can fully be yourself and not have to worry about disappointing people.

INFPs are predisposed for drowning themselves in their micro-obsessions to avoid all of the madness in the world--even if that means giggling like a little girl while reading memes about your favorite Minecraft YouTube creators.

That is a deep-dive into the mind of a typical DTeam Tumblr user. What do you think? Is it accurate at all? Is it completely off? Let me know in the comments!

And with that, I digress. I’m not sure whether I’ll be covering general demographics next week or diving into the topic of ships (could be a mix of both), but I will be posting about it eventually, so make sure to hit the follow if you got to the end of this post and enjoyed it or learned something new from it!

Friendly reminder that this survey and post is in no way supposed to be taken 100% seriously. These are just the ramblings of a math major INFP with too much time on her hands and way too big of an obsession for MCYT. My asks are always open for literally anything, whether if you want to ask me about this or any DNF related subject, my own opinions, or just criticize the whole of this post and tell me it’s complete trash! I’ll answer as long as it’s appropriate!

And, again, thank you everyone who filled out the survey. Without y’all, this post wouldn’t be possible. I really enjoyed writing it! Adios!

#dteam #dteamblr #dttblr #mcyt #dreamwastaken #georgenotfound #sapnap #dreamnotfound #dnf #dream team #dream smp #dteamblr demographics survey #analysis

[crash-c2]

2 Years Ago from the RollerCoaster...Follow the Facts... Read Between The Intentional MSM Distortion Tactics... They Don’t Want You to Understand. Comprehension once absorbed leads to an Awakening and Informed Resistance and if We Did Not Have Trump, The Patriots Behind Him and a very sophisticated well planned tactical dissemination ... We would be in Full Revolt...🏴‍☠️

We know German bank records prove the fake Russian dossier was paid for by funding from the DNC and Hillary campaign. The funding went through the law firm of Perkins-Coie and managing partner Marc Elias to Fusion GPS and on to Christopher Steele. Russian and British Intelligence were feeding Steele disinformation. There were reporters on the DNC and Hillary campaign payroll who was revealed in the recent FISA application.

We know that the Senate Intelligence Committee (filled with corruption) leaked classified information to the media. We know the top security person on the Committee was having an affair with a New York Times reporter.

We know John McCain was a bag man for distributing the phony dossier.

We know that the dossier and Yahoo News story plus a letter from Harry Reid that originated from the dossier were the basis of all the FISA warrant applications.

We know the FBI paid Steele directly also, in addition to what he got from Fusion.

We know FBI guy Strzok told his girlfriend he would stop Trump. We know that Strzok's father was an Iranian sympathizer and Strzok was raised in Iran and trained by the CIA.

We know the dossier was unverified, not obtained through U.S. intelligence activities, and paid for by the DNC and Hillary campaign. We know neither fact was disclosed to the Court or to Trump as a candidate, as President-elect, or as President. The release of the FISA application proves the FISA Judge was not told this before he approved the warrant to spy on Trump and his associates based on the phony dossier.

We know that the Michael Isikoff story on Yahoo News which was used as partial justification for the warrants was leaked to Isikoff by Chris Steele directly.

We know that Strzok and Page spoke of an insurance policy in case Trump was elected, and they spoke of it in Andrew McCabe's office. Many believe the insurance policy was the Mueller investigation.

We know that James Clapper testified that Obama personally called for a counter-intelligence investigation into Trump.

We know the warrants also named George Papadopoulos and the Trump Campaign in addition to Carter Page. We know that when Trump said that Obama was surveilling him at Trump Tower and the media laughed, that he was being surveilled.

We know that Susan Rice and Samantha Power unmasked over a hundred people recorded in the surveillance.

We know that Lisa Page texted to Peter Strzok that "POTUS wants to know everything we're doing."

We know Obama knew all about Russian meddling, Trump had no idea, and Team Obama did nothing to stop it or tell anyone.

We know Comey pre-exonerated Hillary and granted immunity to five senior advisers and two IT staff who wiped her server.

We know Obama wrote to Hillary on her private server using an alias even though he claimed not to know about it.

We know the DNC via Bob Creamer staged every act of violence at Trump rallies.

We know the DNC rigged and stole the primary from Bernie for Hillary.

We know there was a shredding party at Obama's State Department one weekend.

We know Comey leaked his classified notes to the New York Times.

We know that Comey did not tell Trump the truth about the dossier.

We know that the warrants were renewed multiple times without any updated information (i.e. surveillance yielded nothing).

We know McCabe leaked and lied about it and that he was compromised by the large donation from Hillary bagman Terry McAuliffe to his wife's Democratic Virginia Senate campaign.

We know that Carter Page is not a spy as he was never charged and the surveillance ended.

We know Lynch and Bill Clinton met inappropriately in Phoenix two days before Comey exonerated Hillary. We know Lynch was lying when she said she did not know what Comey was going to say before he said it.

We know Lynch personally issued an extraordinary visa waiver to Putin Stoogette Natalia Veselnitskaya after she was denied a visa in Moscow so she could get in to attend the staged meeting at Trump Tower with the President's son and son-in-law. And that shortly thereafter she was a front-row guest at a Congressional hearing, sitting next to Obama's Ambassador to Russia.

We know piles of cash flowed to the Clintons after the sale of Uranium One. We know Bob Mueller had uncovered massive Russian corruption with regard to U. S. uranium BEFORE the sale, that Eric Holder knew about it and signed off anyway, and that the Maryland prosecutor who sat on the charges until the sale was complete was Rod Rosenstein.

We know that President Trump asked Rod Rosenstein to be Deputy AG. We know Robert Mueller met with President Trump after he fired Comey. After Sessions recused himself, Rosenstein was in charge of the Mueller investigation.

We know that George Papadopoulos was baited and hooked by Alexander Downer, and invited to London to allow Downer to get him drunk and report it to the FBI, which is why Papadopoulos was named in the warrants, and that Downer had just overseen the Australian $11M donation to the Clinton Foundation.

We know Peter Strzok was personal friends with Judge Rudy Contreras, a FISA judge and the one who accepted the Flynn plea before he was recused without explanation. We know Lisa Page planned a fake dinner party so Peter and Rudy could talk without arousing suspicion.

We know Brennan and Clapper were part and parcel of the whole thing. Clapper's starting to blame Obama now and calls him the kingpin behind the investigation.

We know that a former CIA pit bull who worked for HW Bush and went to school with Bill Clinton was an FBI informant, hired by Obama, to spy on the Trump campaign.

We know that Stzok's wife got a promotion at the SEC.

We know Rod Rosenstein's wife is a Clinton attorney.

We know dozens of wealthy Silicon Valley and Never Trumpers like Ryan, McConnell, and Graham met at Sea Island in March 2016 to stop Trump. They failed.

[theladyoflove]

The Athenian Calendar 🏛️🌿📅

There was no standard calendar in ancient greece, however the most written about and commonly used one by modern reconstructionists is the Athenian Calendar! This calendar can be easily incorporated into the Gregorian Calendar as well (in my opinion)

I would like to thank @hermesmystic for creating a beautiful lesson on our Hellenismos Online Temple discord server! It helped a lot with this post ♥

It’s a long one so brace yourself!

D A Y S 🌇 The days in the Athenian Calendar begin at sunset. This was important for being able to observe festivals or holy days, if they were to begin at midnight like it does for us, the Greeks would have had a much harder time practicing their religion.

The main Olympians have sacred days of the week which can be used if you would like to make small daily offerings. Weekdays have two gods and weekends have three. A week in review would be: Monday: Artemis and Demeter 🏹🌾 Tuesday: Ares and Athena ⚔️📜 Wednesday: Hermes and Hephaestus 📬🛠️ Thursday: Zeus and Hera 🌩️💍 Friday: Dionysus and Aphrodite 🍇🕊️ Saturday: Hestia, Hades and Persephone 🕯️💀 Sunday: Apollo, Posedion and Amphitrite ☀️🌊

Obviously you don’t need to change your clock and begin living your life around this BUT it is useful to remember.

M O N T H S 🌑 The months are where it gets a little complicated! So we’ll begin with the way the months began and ended and that is with the new moon.

Most Athenian months will fall between two Gregorian months, and sometimes a Gregorian month can have two full moons. A rule of thumb to remember with this is an Athenian month begins on the last (or only) new moon of a Gregorian month and ends on the first (or only) new moon in the next Gregorian month.

The Athenian Calendar also has seasons like the Gregorian calender, and these seasons have three months within them.

S u m m e r: 🌻🏄 Season Theme: Setting foundations and goals Hekatombion (holy month of Zeus 🌩️) - Falls between July/August. Theme: Planning and getting your life sorted Festivals for this month are the: Aphrodisia (6th), Kronia (12th), Synoikia (15-16th) and Panathenaia (28th)

Metageitnion (holy month of Demeter 🌾) - Falls between August/September Theme: Securing foundations from the previous month This month doesn’t have confirmed festivals but these are believed to fall under this month: Metageitnios (Unknown), Herakles Emera (Unknown)

Voedromion (holy month of Hestia 🕯️) - Falls between September/October Theme: Focus on spiritual/religious comfort Festivals for this month are the: Genesia (5th), Kharisteria (6th), Boidromia (7th), Eleusinian Mysteries (15th-21st)

The Eleusinian Mysteries was the most important festival in the Athenian year held in honour of Demeter and Persephone. What happened during this festival isn’t well known so it’s challenging for a modern Hellenic Polytheist but for the ancient Greeks acknowledging the festival was important, acknowledging meant to observe the festival, in the modern sense this can be doing a personal ritual.

A u t u m n / F a l l: 🍂🥧 Season Theme: Tackling hardships, the gods challenge Pyanepsion (holy month of Ares ⚔️) - Falls between October/November Theme: Time for tackling hardships Festivals for this month are the: Proerosia (5th), Puanepsia (6th), Oskhophoria (7th), Theseia (8th), Stenia (9th), Thesmophoria (11-13th), Khalkeia (30th)

Maimakterion (holy month of Artemis 🏹) - Falls between November/December Theme: Time for taking care of yourself through hardship Festivals for this month are the: Maimakeria (unknown), Pompaia (20-end)

Poseideon (holy month of Poseidon 🌊) - Falls between December/January Theme: A time to prove work ethic (or arete) to the gods Festivals for this month are the: Poseidea (8th), Rural Dionysia (last two weeks of the month), Haloa (26th)

W i n t e r: ❄️☃️ Season Theme: A time to recover and revise goals Gamelion (holy month of Hera 💍) - Falls between January/February Theme: Time to reconnect with the gods Festivals for this month are the: Lenaia (12-15), Gamelia (26)

Anthesterion (holy month of Haephestus 🛠️) - Falls between February/March Theme: Time for ingenuity/finding creative solutions Festivals for this month are the: Anthesteria (11-13th), Diasia (23**/28th)*, Lesser Mysteries (unknown)

Elafevolion (holy month of Athena 📜) - Falls between March/April Theme: Reflecting on potential weaknesses and improving Festivals for this month are the: Elapheblia (6th), Asklepieia (8**/9th)*, Greater Dionysia (9-13th), Pandia (14/17th**)*

S p r i n g: 🌷🐣 Season Theme: Strength and Hope! Mounikhion (holy month of Aphrodite 🕊️) - Falls between April/May Theme: Celebrate the progress you’ve made! Festivals for this month are the: Feast of Eros (4th), Mounikhia (6/16th**)*, Olympieia (19th)

Thargelion (holy month of Apollo ☀️) - Falls between May/June Theme: Faith and Divination, working hard Festivals for this month are the: Thargelia (6-7th), Plunteria (Last week with the peak on 25th)

Skiroforion (holy month of Hermes 📬) - Falls between June/July Theme: Making goals for the new year, devotion Festivals for this month are the: Arrhephoria (3rd), Skirophoria (12th), Dipolieia (14th) 

[* means it can be observed on either day] [** means that is the prefered date to observe it]

Each month has an 11 day transitionary period from one to the next called the Neos Minas, each day (except one) has an event that help to fully transition spiritually from the theme of one month to the next.

Day 1: Chthonia 1 - the 3rd day before the end of the old month 🧹 Day 2: Chthonia 2 - the 2nd day before the end of the old month 🧹 Day 3: Hekate’s Deipnon - last day of the old month 👻 Day 4: Noumenia - First day of the new month ✨ Day 5: Agathos Daimon - 2nd day of the new month 🎉 Day 6: Tritomenis - 3rd day of the new month / Athena’s birthday 📜 Day 7: Tetras - 4th day of the new month 💖 Day 8: Rest Day - 5th day of the new month 🥱 Day 9: Birth of Artemis - 6th day of the new month 🏹 Day 10: Birth of Apollo - 7th day of the new month ☀️ Day 11: Poseidonas - 8th day of the new month 😤

M o n t h   1 3 ? Occasionally there will be two new moons in a Gregorian month, this was a dillema for the ancient Greeks as well and their solution was to add a 13th month! Mounikhion has to begin and Elafevolion has to end on the same day but there are two new moons... what do we do? Who do we honour?!

DIONYSUS TIME BAYBEEE 🍇🍇🍇🍇

Dionysus would be given a month whenever this issue would arise and it fit his theme perfectly, to come in and cause chaos! This month never had any festivals as it was so sparadic in length or time of year, routine went out the window! In even more Dionysus fashion this month isn’t named after him! It’s called Duo Poseideon and has nothing to do with Poseidon’s month!

Y E A R S 🎉 Years in the Athenian calendar begins in the summer, giving the Greeks plenty of energy to honour and celebrate. The final day of the year was always to honour Athena and Zeus for blessings in the new year

To keep with the theme of four seasons, the years were also grouped into fours called Olympiads 4 years = 1 Olympiad. The way to write the year would go as such: “Year 4 of the 704th Olympiad” Once the year is complete this summer it will become “Year 1 of the 705th Olympiad”

The years also come with their themes, they follow that of the seasons.

I hope this post was helpful! Sorry if I got anything wrong but I hope you can add some of this information to your worship and have fun with it! Don’t worry about trying to follow the calendar perfectly.

Gods bless xx ♥

#hellenic polytheism #hellenic pagan #hellenic polythiest #hellenism #Hellenismos #hellenic community #hellenic pantheon #zeus #hera #poseidon #hades #persephone #apollo #hermes #aphrodite #hephaestus #ares #athena #artemis #dionysus #long post

[tiramisiyu]

【未定事件簿】Tears of Themis: Lunar New Year - NXX Group Chat

Or as I see it, MC being wholesome while the men act out a comedy.

See under cut!

--

Lu Jinghe: What do you all plan to do after eating Lunar New Year’s Eve dinner?

Xia Yan: Why’d you ask this all of a sudden?

Lu Jinghe: Casually chatting, don’t be on such high alert.

Zuo Ran: Is that so? I feel like your intent doesn’t seem to be very pure.

Mo Yi: Stop beating around the bush.

Mo Yi: Let me ask instead, do you have any other plans later? @MC

MC (Selection 1, Choice 1): A lot of relatives came to my house. I have to chat with them for a while.

Xia Yan: At the end of the chats, they probably won’t leave out the annual routine interrogation…

Xia Yan: If they ask weird questions again, then just use me as a shield.

Mo Yi: Interrogation?

Lu Jinghe: ???

Mo Yi: I’m just somewhat curious about such a situation.

Zuo Ran: A lot of relatives also come to my house every year.

Zuo Ran: Feels just like a trial where you have no way of saying anything in defense, and you’re standing at the defendant’s place.

Lu Jinghe: Thanks, I get it.

Mo Yi: Hearing you all say this, I am indeed able to imagine it.

Zuo Ran: … It’s about time - if there’s nothing going on, you can see the Lunar New Year’s TV special in a while.

MC (Selection 1, Choice 2): Lazing around is boring anyways. I was just planning to search for friends to team up and play games.

Lu Jinghe: No need to search anymore. I’ll play with you!

Mo Yi: It’s rare enough for everyone to all be available, so let’s go together.

Zuo Ran: Mm. Though I don’t usually play games, I can try.

Xia Yan: Looking at our battle lineup right now, I feel like the chances of us messing up are really high…

Mo Yi: Oh?

Zuo Ran: …

Lu Jinghe: Didn’t you say before that you could dominate the entire server? See it as a challenge.

Xia Yan: I’ll leave that blessing to you. I’ll just team up with her.

Lu Jinghe: Hah?

Lu Jinghe: Forget it, then. The headcount won’t be even like this.

Zuo Ran: … It’s about time - if there’s nothing going on, you can see the Lunar New Year’s TV special in a while.

MC (Selection 1, Choice 3): None, I was just preparing to randomly pass the time on my own…

Zuo Ran: On your own? Then I’ll accompany you.

Mo Yi: It just happens to work out – I’m also celebrating the New Year own my own this time.

Mo Yi: If it’s convenient, how about we walk around the Commerce Street together?

Lu Jinghe: Based on convention, what you’re celebrating probably isn’t the New Year…

Xia Yan: I’m also here this year. I’ll find you in a moment.

Lu Jinghe: …

Lu Jinghe: Stop, if we keep going on like this, we’re going to end up agreeing to celebrate the New Year at the base in a moment.

Xia Yan: That’s not necessarily needed.

Mo Yi: I feel the same. Forget it, change the topic.

Zuo Ran: … It’s about time. If there’s nothing going on, you can see the Lunar New Year’s TV special in a while.

 MC (Selection 2, Choice 1): I feel like it’s more interesting to chat with everyone than it is to watch the TV special!

Lu Jinghe: Hehe, then chat a little while longer with me. I’ve got time anyways.

Mo Yi: I heard your professor say that you got a lot of homework for winter break. Have you finished them all?

Zuo Ran: Better to not chat. Since you’re a student, you should focus on your academics.

Lu Jinghe: ???

Lu Jinghe: When celebrating the New Year, my most important homework is having fun.

Zuo Ran: Then if you don’t finish it when time comes, you can bring it into the base.

Mo Yi: What, you all are prepared to help?

Xia Yan: Does helping supervise count? I feel like it would be pretty interesting.

Mo Yi: Mm, it’s auspicious do some things to make people happy when celebrating the new year.

Lu Jinghe: You all really don’t make any sense right now.

Xia Yan: I don’t know why, but I keep feeling like we’re doing a comedic dialogue…

Xia Yan: It would be good if you laughed a little more because of this – then this group chat can be considered to have a purpose. @ MC 

MC (Selection 2, Choice 2): Sure, I feel like it’ll be pretty lively if we commentate while we watch!

Xia Yan: I guess that’s true. Sometimes commentating might be even more interesting than the show itself.

Mo Yi: Based on my experience, if we don’t watch, I estimate that we won’t be able to keep up with online topics for all of the beginning of the year.

Lu Jinghe: Indeed.

Lu Jinghe: Right, Zuo Ran, you probably don’t pay much attention to those topics that get popular online, right?

Lu Jinghe: When we were in the base, I seem to often see you swiping on your phone with a face full of confusion…

Xia Yan: So you saw it too.

Zuo Ran: That wasn’t being confused, I was just thinking.

Mo Yi: Look, the LNY TV special hasn’t even started, yet it’s already sufficiently lively.

Xia Yan: It would be good if you laughed a little more because of this – then this group chat can be considered to have a purpose. @ MC 

MC (Selection 3, Choice 1): I hope that everyone can live every day happily in the coming year!

Xia Yan: Mm! Let’s spend next year together happily!

Zuo Ran: Thank you. I hope you can also stay far away from all troubles and always be happy in the new year.

Mo Yi: Then come visit me often.

Mo Yi: This way, I will definitely spend every day happily.

Zuo Ran: …

Zuo Ran: I remember that a psychology scholar shouldn’t bring up methods that advocate for overdependency.

Xia Yan: …

Lu Jinghe: …

Mo Yi: Seems like the two of you also have something to say?

Xia Yan: Nothing, I just thought of something happy.

Lu Jinghe: I just randomly followed the crowd.

Lu Jinghe: Though that old guy who helps the Board of Directors suddenly sent me a ton of messages, as if he set it up before.

Lu Jinghe: Managed to get jiejie’s rare blessings, but now my good mood has been destroyed with this…

Mo Yi: I suppose that he’s reminding you that you should send some New Year’s red envelopes.

Zuo Ran: Right, leave the New Year’s blessings to the clients to me. You can relax well, and you don’t have to worry too much. @ MC

MC (Selection 3, Choice 2): Good thing that you guys are here. I feel like this year will be a lot happier than past years!

Mo Yi: Thank you. To me, this is the best evaluation.

Mo Yi: As long as you hope for it, regardless of if for next year or the one after, I will continue to stay by your side.

Lu Jinghe: Whoa… it’s rare for your typing speed to be this fast.

Lu Jinghe: I also think this – good thing you’re here.

Lu Jinghe: I’m talking about you, jiejie~

Xia Yan: Seeing that you can be this happy, I’m also gradually liking this kind of New Year’s atmosphere.

Zuo Ran: This year will indeed be livelier than the past.

Zuo Ran: All in all, everyone has worked hard in the past year. Make sure to relax in this rare holiday.

Xia Yan: Seconded. Although, even though it’s a holiday, don’t stay up too late.

Xia Yan: Especially you, you better not get caught by me. @ MC

#tears of themis #tears of themis translations #weiding shijian bu #xia yan #zuo ran #mo yi #lu jinghe #未定事件簿 #tot translation #tot other #im here for the subtle roasts at each other #the four men together have such chaotic energy

[yessoupy]

i think i have to unstan harry styles.

best weekend of my life (so far)

it's been a week [a fucking year] and I still haven't posted my review. at this point y'all know the show was awesome. hannah is posting her pics after a week straight of actually working (let's take up a collection to hire hannah to go to harry shows and produce exclusive content for us, what do you say?). after a week [a YEAR] away from the harrie commune all I can say is.... I don't know if I can continue on this way without it. i might have to stop altogether. [somehow, i’ve made due.]

after the last show of the 2018 tour I had such a fierce feeling that I'd missed out on something I would have really loved. there was nothing to do for it, since it was my sister's wedding day, so I moved on pretty quickly. but I also made the decision that for harry's next tour, I was going to go all out.

my dudes, what a way to ring in the new era. [and present me needs to interject here that i think i knew that something was going to go horribly wrong in 2020. even with tickets in hand to such faraway shows as phoenix, denver, and raleigh, i could NOT book flights or hotels as late as february. i knew about coronavirus in late december because i was traveling abroad and acutely aware of travel warnings about wuhan province. and in early february we had our mardi gras party and franny showed up kind of sick and i hugged her but cautiously, mentally cataloguing her symptoms. so when it finally happened i think i was just ... resigned. and that’s why i wasn’t as upset as i would have been if nothing had changed from the time i started writing this review.]

this kind of show always seemed like something that happened to other people. getting the actual tickets was rather stressful (though not as stressful an experience as others had...) but once everything shook itself out i couldn’t even think about the weekend or else I’d implode. thank god for @chasm2018‘s organizational abilities. 

we missed a measles exposure at LAX by 2 days (bless). my first harrie commune™ experience of the weekend was riding the connections shuttle to pick up @papiermachecat at terminal 6 like she was a conquering hero (she is). we rode the connections shuttle to pick up @stylesinthewild and found a little table at starbucks in the baggage claim to wait for the bay area harries to arrive in their rented minivan full of goodies.

we piled in and hannah got us to our two hotel rooms, one with three queen beds, and somehow we got to the forum twice, once to buy pre-show merch and then the final time for the fine line show. we all dressed up and then took just ONE picture. one.

you know how the show went. i’m trying to cover ground that the squad hasn’t already posted [a YEAR AGO]

here is the note I DM'd to harry the next morning, which i think sums everything up nicely:

thank you for the show last night at the forum. I flew in from Houston and met up with friends from all over, only one of whom I'd gotten to hug in real life prior to yesterday. today we're sharing beds and toothpaste and fond memories. thank you for being you and bringing us all together. 💜

i don’t remember WHEN i sent it, maybe 3am, but later that day i took an uber to a vegan tattoo artist’s backyard studio to get a planned tattoo that @papiermachecat had sketched for me and my impulse tattoo of a fine line around my left wrist. while i was doing that, the squad finished up eating breakfast with other harries and then went to stand in the pop-up shop line.

you’ve heard the line stories. i fucking LOVE standing in a line for something because of the people you meet. in front of us we had a personal DJ who’d play what people wanted to hear and airdropped a picture of harry’s dick from WMYB. we’d break off in pairs to go to CVS or visit other people we knew in line. and this hasn’t been written about before, but one of those times hannah and i were walking around the block we saw some men standing by some cars near the entrance and we kind of stopped.... and i think at the same time realized who we were looking at ... and after looking around and realizing that no one else in the fucking line recognized jeff azoff hannah went in for the kill. we thanked him for taking such good care of harry, answered questions he had for us, thanked him again, i had the presence of mind at the end to tell him our names, and we took the pop-up shop merch menus that hadn’t been passed out to anyone yet, and then walked back to our spot in line silently, processing that moment. sometimes i’ll think about that conversation and get all warm and fuzzy thinking about that show and how well it went and how much LOVE there was for everything and harry and between all of us and it sustains me through a shitty, shitty pandemic day at work.

eventually we got through the line and got our merch and looked at all the things they had set up and after moving our reservation back we got to cafe habana to sit at a very familiar table and i took off my bandages to show my tattoos to everyone (to this day i regret not having the presence of mind to show jeff my brand new fine line tattoo, he would have loved it) and we ate and laughed and had the server take our picture and that’s probably what i miss most about the weekend, being in that place imbued with such silly meaning to us and all FEELING that gravity of where we were and being able to recognize it in each others’ eyes and smiles. perfect weather, amazing food, the best company.

the early morning saw our three queen room breaking up, and @papiermachecat left a single zyrtec in the middle of the room on the floor, bringing me to tears laughing even without her physical presence. @chasm2018 and i went to randy’s donuts (where we met up with @treatpeoplewithnice again) and GOD i want to eat donuts that good again. 

it was sad to leave LA that afternoon, wearing my new tpwk oversized hoodie. it wasn’t the last time i was around a big crowd of people, wasn’t even the last concert i attended before all of this happened (that was in vienna on december 30), but it was the last time i was going to be full of unbridled joy. that weekend was the real ode to joy.

we’ll get back to it, it’s just going to take some time.

@stylesinthewild, @papiermachecat, @greeneyesharry & emily, @treatpeoplewithnice, @aggresivelyfriendly, and @chasm2018: fine line forum squad forever in my heart. that weekend will always be so special to me for so many reasons and it wouldn’t have been the same without each and every one of you.

@accidentalharrie and @styloff - ONE of these times we’ll be in the same place for long enough to do more than hug and grin at each other.

@ferryboatpeak and @ticklefighthockey - it was great to meet you! and la who would have thought then our next meeting would be in the backyard of an airbnb sitting six feet apart because we don’t want to spread a disease?

to harry, who isn’t reading this but i need all of you who ARE to know my heart ... thank you for bringing these people into my life. this experience of being your fan has changed me in such profound ways that there’s really no way to express it. it’s less about you and more about those who love you like i do, and i love them. and you.

to jeff, thank you for taking such good care of harry and having his best interests at heart. 

to anne, thank you for raising such a good person and giving him to the world.

to camille, thank you for fine line. without you, that weekend doesn’t happen the way it did and i love that weekend. 

#fine line live #one night only #my 'review' a year later

[benbeckmans-blog]

How One Piece Of Hardware Took Down A 6 Trillion Stock Market

How One Piece Of Hardware Took Down A $6 Trillion Stock Market (Bloomberg) -- At 7:04 a.m. on an autumn Thursday in Tokyo, the stewards of the world’s third-largest equity market realized they had a problem.

A data device critical to the Tokyo Stock Exchange’s trading system had malfunctioned, and the automatic backup had failed to kick in. It was less than an hour before the system, called Arrowhead, was due to start processing orders in the $6 trillion equity market. Exchange officials could see no solution.

The full-day shutdown that ensued was the longest since the exchange switched to a fully electronic trading system in 1999. It drew criticism from market participants and authorities and shone a spotlight on a lesser-discussed vulnerability in the world’s financial plumbing -- not software or security risks but the danger when one of hundreds of pieces of hardware that make up a trading system decides to give up the ghost.

“Exchanges are a crucial part of market infrastructure and it’s unacceptable that trading opportunities were denied,” Finance Minister Taro Aso told reporters in Tokyo. “You’re dealing with machines so it’s always possible they will break. They need to create the infrastructure with that possibility of a breakdown in mind.”

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https://eustascaptainkids.wordpress.com/2021/05/15/elon-musk-the-innovative-man/

 The TSE’s Arrowhead system launched to much fanfare in 2010, billed as a modern-day solution after a series of outages on an older system embarrassed the exchange in the 2000s. The “arrow” symbolizes speed of order processing, while the “head” suggests robustness and reliability, according to the exchange. The system of roughly 350 servers that process buy and sell orders had had a few hiccups but no major outages in its first decade.

Read: Tokyo Stock Exchange to Resume Trading Friday After Outage

That all changed on Thursday, when a piece of hardware called the No. 1 shared disk device, one of two square-shaped data-storage boxes, detected a memory error. These devices store management data used across the servers, and distribute information such as commands and ID and password combinations for terminals that monitor trades.

When the error happened, the system should have carried out what’s called a failover -- an automatic switching to the No. 2 device. But for reasons the exchange’s executives couldn’t explain, that process also failed. That had a knock-on effect on servers called information distribution gateways that are meant to send market information to traders.

Disappearing Data

At 8 a.m., traders preparing at their desks for the market open an hour later should have been seeing indicative prices on their terminals as orders were processed. But many saw nothing, while others reported seeing data appearing and disappearing. They had no idea if the information was accurate.

A minute later, the bourse made its first communication, informing systems administrators at securities firms that there had been an issue. At some brokerages, that didn’t immediately filter down to befuddled trading desks.

At about 8:05 a.m., Twitter -- often used by traders to communicate outside of more official communication channels monitored by compliance -- began to buzz with rumors of an issue. Traders described a growing sense of confusion as few answers came from the bourse.

“We didn’t know if it was our system or the exchange,” said Masaya Akiba, a broker at Marusan Securities Co.’s stock-trading department. “We only confirmed it when the exchange put out a release.”

At 8:36 a.m., the bourse finally informed securities firms that trading would be halted. Three minutes later, it issued a press release on its public website -- although only in Japanese. A confusingly translated English release wouldn’t follow for more than 90 minutes.

It was the first time in almost fifteen years that the exchange had suffered a complete trading outage. The Tokyo bourse has a policy of not shutting even during natural disasters, so for many on trading floors in the capital, this experience was a first.

Historic Decision

Some market participants fumed at the closure. Others, with nothing to do, occupied their time by reading research notes or trading commodities.

“I didn’t think much of it at first,” said Kiyoshi Ishigane, the chief fund manager at Mitsubishi UFJ Kokusai Asset Management Co. in Tokyo. “Previous outages were quickly resolved so I assumed orders would just be delayed.”

In 2012, after the switchover to Arrowhead, the exchange had quickly resolved limited issues. Many expected the bourse to do the same this time, too.

But as the hours passed, Hajime Sakai, the chief fund manager at Mito Securities Co., grew increasingly uneasy.

“I really couldn’t pay attention to much else,” he said. “I wasn’t like, ‘Open the market!’ It was more like, ‘whichever it is, make your call on it, fast.’”

The call was a daunting one. After the failed switch to the backup, the exchange had manually forced a switchover to the No. 2 shared disk device. At this point, the administrators had a choice: they could seek to restart trading, but this would have entailed a full reset of the system -- shutting down the power and rebooting.

Data for orders already received from securities firms would have been lost, without having been canceled. That would have led to anarchy, securities firms told the exchange. After speaking with market participants, the exchange made its decision: trading would be called off for the entire day.

Many in the market say they were relieved. A call to resume trading would have been chaotic, said one worker at a Tokyo-based brokerage, with no way to tell which existing client orders remained active, while also trying to process new asks and bids.

Technical Discussion

At 4:30 p.m. local time, four TSE executives, including Chief Executive Officer Koichiro Miyahara and Chief Information Officer Ryusuke Yokoyama, faced journalists at the exchange to explain the outage. In a briefing that lasted about 100 minutes, they bowed in apology in front of the crowded room before going into a detailed technical discussion of the breakdown.

If the bourse was criticized for its communications earlier in the day, it won praise for how it handled the press conference. The executives answered questions from the media with relative ease, discussing areas such as systems architecture in highly technical terms. They also squarely accepted responsibility for the incident, rather than trying to deflect blame onto the system vendor Fujitsu Ltd. It bore little resemblance to gaffe-filled briefings by other Japanese firms in the past. On Twitter, the Japanese public voiced its approval.

“Management explained very clearly during the briefing last night,” said Megumi Takarada, a senior analyst at Toyo Securities Co. in Tokyo. “The briefing provided some reassurance that management clearly understands the issue.”

Later in the evening, the announcement came that the bourse would restart trading Friday. While that passed without issue, many questions remain unanswered. The Financial Services Agency has ordered the exchange to issue a report on the outage, according to local media, which may give further insight on some of the issues.

But one of the biggest is whether the same kind of hardware-driven failure could happen in other stock markets. For one strategist, it almost certainly could -- but that’s not something to worry too much about.

“There’s nothing uniquely Japanese about this,” said Nicholas Smith of CLSA Ltd. in Tokyo. “I think we’ve just got to put that in the box of ‘stuff happens.’ These things happen. They shouldn’t, but they do.”

(Updates with FSA ordering report on the outage in 25th paragraph)

For more articles like this, please visit us at bloomberg.com

Subscribe now to stay ahead with the most trusted business news source.

©2020 Bloomberg L.P.

#anime #one piece #akagami no shanks #ben beckman #kurohige #straw hat luffy

[otonymous]

Lucien and The Lure of Forbidden Fruit (MLQC Character Analysis)

Hello dear readers!

I’m sure that everyone knows by now that Lucien is my favourite MLQC boy (even after the events of chapter 13), and I’d like to take this opportunity to explain why.  Needless to say, this analysis will be lengthy and include lots of spoilers (for certain Lucien-related dates and the main story, up to and including chapter 14), so the rest will be posted after the break!  

Please keep in mind that I know next to nothing about what’s happened in the story beyond the new chapters released in the English server, so apologies if my theories prove incorrect to those who know better 😆

In response to the lovely Anon, on a superficial level, Lucien is exactly my type: tall, dark and handsome, and a genius to boot.  I love my men intelligent with a side of suave, someone who isn’t afraid of wearing his feelings on his sleeve — and this sexy professor delivers.  But I swear my reasons for loving Lucien extend beyond this paragraph 😂 Please do me the favour of reading on!

@blueanimewriting, I see Lucien’s character as being quite complex, and labels such as “yandere” alone are not enough to encapsulate him as a whole.  Let us consider what we know of Lucien (in the English server) so far.

Lucien, aka Ares, is a high-ranking agent of the Black Swan Collective (BSC) — a super shady secret society with equally shady ambitions for the world, whose plans seem to hinge on MC’s cooperation.  In Chapter 13, it is revealed that Lucien’s kindness and attentiveness to the MC was all part of his plan to lure her into a trap on behalf of the BSC.  On the surface, everything about this screams betrayal.  But is it really?  More on this later.

Going back to @blueanimewriting’s question, a yandere is typically seen as a character with a sweet exterior who is capable of engaging in extremely violent and deranged behaviour when it comes to anything/anyone who challenges their relationship with the love interest.  In my understanding of this archetype, the aggressive behaviour typically doesn’t reveal itself until love has been established, in that either the yandere realizes they are in love or are already in a relationship. 

As we’ve seen in Chapter 13, Lucien is already highly respected and feared within the BSC, where he is known especially for his ruthlessness. The man won’t hesitate to dispatch Black Swan minions with little more than a flick of his hand, teleporting them to god knows where (we just know that the thought alone is enough to make them shake — remember Josie after her little illusory arson trick in Chap 13-1?). The man even smiled when his eye got split open as punishment for dragging his feet on his mission and not capturing MC.  There is little doubt that Lucien is no stranger to violence, whether he’s the source of it, or at its mercy - a fact that most definitely precedes his relationship with MC.

The professor’s villainous behaviour does not come as a result of him falling in love, as is typical with a yandere.  He is a man tasked with a goal, and his actions must be interpreted through that lens.  Did he stalk MC by moving in right next door?  Absolutely.  Was it out of love?  Probably not from the outset; he likely needed to monitor her as part of his mission.  Did Lucien ever direct violent behaviour towards other potential suitors for MC’s affections?  I don’t recall him ever behaving aggressively towards Victor, Gavin, or Kiro.  Lucien’s deception and manipulation seems to stem solely from his mission, not from love.

Is Lucien innately evil, simply “born to be bad” so to speak?  It’s hard to be certain at this point with the information we have.  What we DO know is that the boy grew up without both parents at a young age, and may have been deprived of the opportunity to learn about proper human interaction — love, in particular.  Hence, Lucien learns about affection by watching old Hollywood films in the cinema until the early morning hours, and reads books on how to be a good boyfriend.  He asks MC to teach him how to love in his New Light Date.  Perhaps it was just a bit of shameless flirting.  Or perhaps, he was being completely sincere.

Of the sincerity of his affection for MC, however, there can be no doubt.  Scattered throughout various dates and the story itself, we find instances of Lucien fighting his growing feelings for her.  In his Aquarium Date, he admits that he has become too involved with the girl, despite knowing he should have kept his distance.  In his Midnight Date, we witness Lucien ordering himself not to think of MC whilst clutching his chest in pain, the moment clearly illustrating that love had “taken root in his heart.”  We also catch a glimpse of the professor’s true feelings in his aptly named True Love Date, in which Lucien tries his hardest to avoid MC (likely to prevent himself from falling even more in love with her), and fails spectacularly, displaying some extremely jealous behaviour when he mistakenly thinks she has feelings for someone else.

And while I could be wrong (depending on Ares’ ultimate agenda), the strongest evidence of Lucien’s love for MC would be the fact that he dragged his feet for so long on his mission, and still let her go in the end.  If he was a total villain through and through, would it have been likely that MC would’ve escaped simply by saying that Lucien owed her a thank-you gift?  I think not.  Her ass would’ve been teleported back to BSC headquarters so fast.

So, we get to the crux of the matter, the reason why MC’s romance with Lucien/Ares will prove to be one of, if not the most, heart-wrenching ones in the game.  Their relationship is star-crossed: Romeo and Juliet, Evolver-style.  Lucien knows full well he was not to fall in love with her but couldn’t help himself and did it anyway.  MC obviously had feelings for Lucien, and even in the face of his betrayal, still initially refused to accept it (“...you are not Lucien.  He would never harm me.  Ares and Lucien have nothing to do with each other!”).  

The very image of the blood-red Lycoris blooming in MC’s dream at the beginning of Chapter 9 can be interpreted as referencing this ill-fated romance: when the flower blooms, the leaves have already fallen, and when the leaves grow, the flower has already wilted — the two can never be together.  In the same vein, Lucien and MC are desperately in love with each other, but are standing on very different sides of a war that is gradually brewing.  This is the stuff of angst-filled romantic dreams, for everyone knows forbidden fruit is the sweetest.  It is also one of my favourite romantic tropes.

Yes, Lucien manipulated MC’s feelings in order to advance his own goals.  But the professor never anticipated that he would fall victim to his own feelings for her.  And that was the moment when his world was no longer black and white, cut and dried.  He let his emotions get in the way of his mission, and was sorely punished for it.  But perhaps his greatest punishment came when he had to watch his own confession of betrayal crush MC’s heart (let us not forget that look of sorrow that flashed in his eyes during Chapter 13’s showdown).

Yes, Lucien hurt us.  But in doing so, he also hurt himself.

If you’re still reading at this point, 1) thank you for sticking around as I prance atop my soapbox, and 2) if you’re still not convinced, consider this: would Elex really make you fall in love with a main character only to make you hate him to pieces?  Who in their right minds would blow tons of cold, hard cash on those gorgeous Lucien karmas, such as…

…if he didn’t have a way of ultimately redeeming himself in the end, however far away that is?  I am a firm believer that Lucien/Ares will have a redemption arc, and that it will be absolutely fantastic when it happens. 💕

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thanks for reading!  Check out more of my work here! 📚

#q&a #anonymous #ihavenotfallenyet #blueanimewriting #mlqc lucien #my writing #mlqc character analysis #lucien character analysis #mlqc #mr love queen's choice #love and producer

[psychopersonified]

Quartermaster Origin - Series 2 (Ep 3 finale)

An imaginary Q-centric Netflix series

Series 2 Episode 1 & 2 here. Might want to read the first 2 episode first for everything to make more sense.

Series 1 Pilot here. 

In this second series, we see Q’s double life and how he juggles them. One as a civilian and the other in service with MI6 -  his growth his setbacks; the dramas that follow and which of the two will have to give way. 

To make Q’s backstory come to life and the events that happen to and around him seem more realistic, I’ve tried to include as much relevant details including the bureaucracy, politics and technology in MI6 (with a lot of artistic licence). The details all play a role in growing plot and telling of the narrative, I promise. 

This is meant to be a plot summary, not a full blown fic. Feel free to furnish with your own details. 

------

Episode 3

Clock is ticking! ⏳

Q enlists his unofficial minions - interrupting cyberwar night. Together they form a plan to gather evidence. They confirm the findings when they retest some of the components in storage that were marked as released and find that an unusually high percentage do not meet specification. They trace the manufacturers but they have nothing in common on the surface other than being long time component suppliers to MI6. Q wants to dig further by hacking the company databases but is stopped by R who warns him that he doesn’t have M’s approval. The board only approved an internal investigation, hacking a private company without authorisation would put his career at further risk than it already is. 

By morning of the third day the team have what they need regarding the inventory system hack and the extent of it. Evidence suggests someone familiar with their procedures and systems. The hack itself not incredibly sophisticated by anyone’s standards - it didn’t need to be, the low level system was virtually unprotected. It’s effectiveness lay in how and where it was used tactically, break the weakest link and the whole system is undermined. 

They manage to determine the extent of the breach. About FOUR months. The good news is that it means limited recall of field equipment. Bad news is, the hacker has had four months of skipping around in their system unchallenged. It’s like having an intruder come and go from your house rummaging through your drawers and cupboards for months without you knowing. God knows what they might have left behind - it makes Q feel nauseous and violated. However an idea begins to form in his head....

Timeline check: Note the timeline is now somewhere at the end of Casino Royale, 007 has just infamously resigned with a one sentence email to M.

Q presents all their findings to M and the board. M sends teams to the manufacturers under the guise of a routine audit so as to not tip them off. In one of them, they find a shipment of components intended for MI6. Documents indicate that they passed inspection, but when they are tested, it’s found that they are mostly duds. The CEO denies any wrong doing and cooperates with the investigation, handing over data and recordings. Q runs the employee list through MI6 database and facial recognition, the results come back that the COO has been seen in the company of a certain Mr White (Quantum). With M’s permission, he traces the COO’s financial activities and hacks his secure accounts. He’s been receiving large sums over the course of a few months coinciding with the shipments to MI6. 

That’s one piece of the puzzle slotting into place; M now has more evidence on Mr White than a phone number Vesper left for 007 - and that allows her to sanction 007 to retrieve him for questioning. 

Meanwhile, Q acts on the idea he had and plans a trap for the hacker. The Q-Minions scramble to move all remaining systems regardless of security level behind secure firewalls; the process isn’t neat or clean and it breaks more than a few WIFI enabled printers and IOT devices, including the fancy video conferencing setup M has in her home; but its a small price to pay to remove easy entry points. Hayden can chew him out for causing the Great Print-pocalyspe later. Now for the trap - a mirror system is left in place, fed with filtered data from the master system now behind the firewall, this is so that it appears that they are still in use. Then they wait…..

Meantime, it’s been over a week since Q had last seen Adam. A quiet moment lets Q slip away to deal with his civilian life that he’s put on hold. He calls Adam who is relieved that Q is OK. Adam is in tears when he tells Q that he realises that he doesn’t even know where Q’s flat is and has gone to the extent of calling hospitals in the city to check if something has happened to him - he was close to reporting Q as a missing person to the Met. Q assures Adam the best he can and they agree to talk in a few days when whatever emergency he’s dealing with is over. 

They end the call with Q feeling like a right piece of work. He hadn’t meant to make Adam worry so much, he had meant to check in earlier, text even. So why hadn’t he? Q has a uncomfortable realisation - as wonderfully stable and predictable as Adam is, he lacks the excitement and intellectual stimulation that MI6 provides. His life in MI6 draws him like a moth to a flame, even if it might burn him one day. 

Geeky action time! after the break below. 

At Q-Branch, the shipment arrives and is put through the normal procedures of logging in new inventory and testing. Not 24 hours later the hacker strikes. This time Q and his minions are ready. As the hacker’s code rips through the mirror system, it changes data and pings its trojans within the system for updates. Q’s team record all the activity but leave the hacker unchallenged. 

Instead they chase hacker on two fronts even as the signal is bounced all over the world - the source of the hack as well as the destination of the data packets its downloaded from the mirror system to see if they overlap, hoping to find a point of origin. Both trails end up somewhere between IndoChina-Hong Kong. The source of the hack is harder to pinpoint but the data packets are ending up somewhere in Laos. It’s a poorly secured telecommunications server belonging to Lao Telecom. It’s likely the owners don’t even know they are being used as a data cache to be retrieved later by the hacker. 

Time to pull the plug. But before that Q acts on a hunch, he takes over the system locking everyone else out and executes a data grab first - pulling data off the server in Laos and dumping it into a proxy of his own in Philippines. That’s when he realises that it’s not a passive hack using automated code. There is someone on the other end actively watching... 

Now alerted to Q’s presence, the hacker fights back. Simultaneously trying to regain control of the server and chasing Q’s data grab. After several failed attempts by the hacker to regain control and protect the data - whoever they were decides to cut their losses. The hacker sends a DDOS attack to the server, overwhelming it and taking with it telecom service in the surrounding region - Q looses connection. Not the most elegant counter by the hacker, but effective. No matter, Q had already managed to grab a sizeable chunk which he’ll examine later. The other trail also ends abruptly.

Q isn’t innocent either, he’s had to initiate lockout protocols to protect the data he’s dumped in the Philippines, so even the owners of the server in the Department of Transportation can’t get in temporarily. If the traffic lights in Pasig city goes on the blink for half a day and causes mayhem…. well Q better hide their tracks.

It’s OVER. There is dead silence in Q-Branch, jarring after close to an hour of frantic activity. It’s as if no one dares to breathe. Q wills himself to calm, his fingers coming up to cover his eyes under his glasses, he finally lets out a long breath he had not realised he was holding. With that, it’s as if a tightly wound string had been cut. His minions take their cue and break into their own sighs and groans of relief. A minion (future R) is retching into the nearest bin, that was how much anxiety and stress was in the room. 

All the adrenaline and tension of the last few weeks bleeds out of him and Q feels like he can’t hold himself upright any longer. He braces himself on his work station and slowly slips onto the floor back against the workstation desk. The reality of the situation hits him then - today, halfway around the world, two servers in two unsuspecting nations just became the latest cyberwar battleground and victims of collateral mayhem. Q is treading on eggshells - an attack like this even if indirect could be construed as an act of war on sovereign nations if they ever found out (yes, Q kinda, technically, maybe caused England to declare war on two nations today).

He doesn’t know it yet, but this was their first of a series of live encounters with Raoul Silva. Q hadn’t planned on Silva being on the other end, so the timing of their counter offensive is a huge clue to Silva as to who they were. 

*A throat clearing* M and Tanner make themselves known. They were alerted when the hack started but M chose to stand back and let Q and his team handle it while she watched. Q stiffly picks himself off the floor to face M and Tanner. His minions are also rousing from their various states of collapse - future R is still clutching the bin. 

Q confirms they got what they needed. Q and his minions can now use the records of the hacker’s activity in the mirror system and compare it with the unaltered data in the master system and locate the areas that were tampered with as well as where the trojans were located. Like comparing two photographs to see what was changed. This will help them weed out the trojans and patch the system quickly, while also allowing them to study the hackers patterns and choice of tools - both as a ‘fingerprint’ identification as well as adapting MI6’s own cybersecurity response.

As for the data Q stole from the server in Laos, by the time the dust settles in Quantum of Solace, they will find that it was not just MI6s’ inventory system that was targeted. Mr White working for Quantum had been paying off employees in a number of defence companies to ship dud components and equipment to law enforcement and military around the world, while Silva uses the same hack to launder the records of faulty equipment. Once the reputation and faith in these companies have been shaken, Quantum would sweep in with their own and monopolise the industry; controlling the supply of a multi-billion dollar market and aligning it to their own agenda. 

Weeks later, 007 has removed Dominic Greene and exposed his plans in Bolivia, but its Q’s investigation and stolen data that allows MI6 to get ahead of Quantum’s plan globally. Unknown to him, Q has already thwarted SPECTRE twice before he’s even in full-time service of MI6 (once in the pilot and now). We can imagine the interest that generates within the organisation to find out who is behind it. 

(This is also my take on the personalised “Not such a clever boy” message in Skyfall. Silva knew who Q was long before 007 brought him in. And if Silva knew who Q was, so will SPECTRE. Delicious future setup! *rubs hands*)

Q meets Adam for their ‘talk’ in a local animal shelter Adam is volunteering at. Adam is much calmer, resigned even. As they feed and play with the animals, he tells Q that he’s given a lot of thought to their relationship and realises that he barely knows Q. Q has never invited him over to his place, or introduced him to his family or friends, doesn’t know what he does outside of university other than the excuses he gives. Who is he?? Q listens without saying anything. 

Q leans against against a wall of cages and watches Adam thoughtfully as he goes about his work around the shelter. Adam who is kind, thoughtful, who likes long walks and conversations, who picks up strays and nurses them back to health. Adam with his strong nurturing instinct and perfect abs, who gives everything to help those in need. Q commits possible acts of war on behalf of a nation, heedless to the damage it causes. The end justify the means and all that... a life that demands secrecy and subterfuge. Adam could never understand that. It is no one’s fault. They don’t deserve one another. They break-up amicably. 

Q helps Adam finish his shift at the shelter. As he tries to put the big adult orange tabby he’s been petting all afternoon back in its cage, the moggie refuses to let go. It meows grumpily and clings to his jumper like velcro. He’s a heavy one, rounded head with impressive jowls, ears notched in a few places and some superficial facial scarring. A street brawler before he was brought in for sure, but now a needy cuddle monster shredding Q’s jumper. Perhaps he’s feeling a little melancholy and a bit lonely now that the breakup is formal, he finds the low pitched yowling  heartbreaking. 

He finally gets the cat to let go by sacrificing his jumper, leaving the clothing inside the cage for it to snuggle in. Q goes to leave, the cat’s continued piteous calls tugs at his heartstrings. He makes it as far as the door before turning back and grabbing the cat’s papers hanging by the cage. Guess he’s not going home alone after all. 

The last scene of the finale is M in her office. She’s reviewing all the gathered intel and drawing connections. She recognises that she’s being herded into a corner. Unknown entity (Silva) trying to pull the rug out from under her by undermining MI6 through Q-Branch, while Quantum attacks directly from the inside with an assassination attempt by her bodyguard. This is only the start. 

------

Notes: I like the idea that Q is more than just a future quartermaster doling out equipment and supplies. He’s also an ‘agent’ in his own right - it makes the conversation when he meets 007 in Skyfall hold more weight. It’s not just hubris, he’s proven himself.

Next on Q... let me know what you’d like to see. 

#00q #quartermaster #Q #james bond #00q fanfiction #Q spin-off #would you watch this?

[chipotle]

Panic's Nova text editor (a review)

Review: Panic’s Nova text editor

Panic, the long-established makers of Mac utility software, seems fully aware that introducing a new, commercial code editor in 2020 is a quixotic proposition. Is there enough of an advantage to a native editor over both old school cross-platform editors like Emacs and explosively popular new editors like Visual Studio Code to persuade people to switch?

I’m an unusual case as far as text editor users go: my primary job is technical writing, and the last three jobs that I’ve worked at have a “docs as code” approach, where we write documentation in Markdown and manage it under version control just like source code. The editor that works best for me in tech writing is the venerable BBEdit. When it comes to editing code, though, BBEdit lags behind. My suspicion is that BBEdit’s lack of an integrated package manager has hurt it here. Also, BBEdit’s language modules don’t support extending one another, making it effectively impossible to do full highlighting for a templating language like JSX or Jinja.

When I was a web programmer, I was one of many who moved to TextMate, and used it for everything for a while. When the Godot-like wait for TextMate 2.0 became unbearable, I wandered the text editing wilderness, eventually splitting my loyalties between BBEdit, Sublime Text, and more recently VS Code. At this point, I suspect nothing will pull me away from BBEdit for technical writing, but for programming I’m open to persuasion.

So: meet Nova.

I’ve been using Nova off and on in beta for months. I’ve reported some bugs, although I may mention a couple here that I didn’t catch until after 1.0’s release. And, I’m going to compare it to the GUI editors that I’ve been using recently: BBEdit, Sublime Text, and VS Code.

Nova is a pretty editor, as far as such things go, and with files of relatively reasonable size it’s fast. With stupid huge files its performance drops noticeably, though. This isn’t just the ridiculous 109MB, nearly 450,000-line SQL file I threw at it once, it’s also with a merely 2MB, 50,000-line SQL file, and Nova’s offer to turn off syntax highlighting in both files didn’t help it much. This may sound like a silly test, but in my day job I’m occasionally stuck editing an 80,000-line JSON file by hand (don’t ask). This is something BBEdit and VS Code can do without complaint. Panic wrote their own text editing engine for Nova, which is brave, but it needs more tuning for pathological cases like these. They may not come up often, but almost every programmer has one stupid huge file to deal with.

Nova has an integrated terminal and an integrated SSH client, and even an integrated file transfer system based on Panic’s Transmit. In fact, if you have Transmit and use Panic Sync, it knows all of those servers out of the box. Nova has a task workflow system for automating building and running. You can associated servers, tasks, and more with individual projects; Nova’s project settings are considerably more comprehensive than I’ve seen in other editors. You can even set up remote tasks. Nova has a serviceable Git client built in, too. Like VS Code, Nova uses JavaScript for its extension API, and it has built-in Language Server Protocol support—it’s a superbly solid foundation.

Beyond that, some smaller features have become table stakes for modern GUI editors, and Nova handles them with aplomb. “Open Quickly” can jump to any file in the open project, as well as search by symbols or just symbols in currently open files; it has a command palette; you can comprehensively edit keybindings. It has multiple cursor support for those of us who like that, and a “mini map” view for those of you who like that, although know that you are wrong. Nova’s selection features include “Select all in scope” and “Select all between brackets,” a command I often use in BBEdit and miss dearly in Code. (Both Nova and BBEdit select between brackets and braces, although BBEdit also selects between parentheses.) This effectively becomes “Select between tags” in HTML, a nice touch. There are a few other commands like “Select all in function” and “Select all in scope” that I didn’t have any luck in making work at all; a little more documentation would be nice.

That’s worth an aside. Panic has created a “library” of tech note-style articles about Nova sorted by publication date rather than an actual manual, and it’s not always easy to find the information you want in it. I know this is just what a technical writer would say, but I’d dearly like to see a human-organized table of contents starting with the editor basics and moving to advanced topics like version control, server publishing and extension authoring.

The Zen of Language Servers

A lot of Visual Studio Code’s smarts depend on the implementation of a “language server” behind the scenes: language servers offer almost spookily intelligent completion. For instance, take this PHP snippet:

if ($allowed) { $response = new Response(405); $response->

If you have the Intelephense PHP language server plugin, Code understands that $response is an instance of Response and, after you type the > above, offers completions of method names from the Response class.

Right now, Nova’s mostly limited to the language servers Panic provides, and they’re… not always so smart. In that snippet above, Nova starts by offering completions of, apparently, everything in the open project, starting with the variables. If I type “s,” it narrows things down to methods that begin with “s,” but it’s all methods that start with “s” rather than just the methods from Response. The “Jump to Definition” command shows a similar lack of context; if I highlight a method name that’s defined in multiple places, Nova shows me a popup menu and prompts me to choose which one to jump to, rather than introspecting the code to make that decision itself.

But, this is a solvable problem: there’s (I think) no reason someone couldn’t write an Inteliphense plugin for Nova. If Nova’s ecosystem takes off, it could be pretty formidable pretty quickly.

Walk like a Mac

Even so, LSP support isn’t Panic’s biggest selling point. Unlike Sublime Text or VS Code, Nova isn’t cross-platform: it’s a Mac-only program written to core platform APIs. Is that still a huge draw in 2020? (Is it instead a drawback?)

You can definitely see a difference between Nova and BBEdit on one side and Sublime and Code on the other in terms of resource usage. With the two Ruby files shown in the screenshot above loaded, I get:

VS Code: 355 MB, 6 processes

Sublime Text: 338 MB, 2 processes

Nova: 101 MB, 2 processes

BBEdit: 97 MB, 1 process

Code is an Electron-based program, although Microsoft famously puts a lot of effort into making it not feel like the black hole a lot of Electron-based apps are. Sublime uses its own proprietary cross-platform framework. In fairness, while us nerds like to harp on research usage a lot, if your computer’s got 16G or more of RAM in it, this probably isn’t a big deal.

You notice Nova’s essential Mac-ness in other ways. Its preference pane is, like BBEdit’s, an actual preference pane, instead of opening in another tab like Code or just opening a JSON file in a new tab (!) like Sublime. And while all editors better have first-class keyboard support—and Nova does—a good Mac editor should have first-class mouse support, too, and it does. You notice that in the drag-and-drop support for creating new tabs and splits. Nova’s sidebar is also highly customizable, possibly more so than any editor I’ve regularly used. (Yes, Emacs fans, I know you can write all of Nova in Lisp if you want. When one of you does that, please get back to me.)

Unlike BBEdit, though, Nova doesn’t have a Mac-like title bar, or a Mac-like outline view of the project files, or Mac-like tabs. (Well, BBEdit doesn’t have tabs at all, which turns out to be a great UI decision once you have a dozen or more files open, but never mind.) This isn’t necessarily bad; people often say BBEdit “looks old,” and it’s hard not to suspect that what people mean by that—whether or not they know it—is that it looks like the long-established Mac program it is. Nova is relying less on “we have a Mac UI and the other guys don’t” than on “we have Panic’s designers and the other guys don’t.” Make no mistake, having Panic’s designers counts for a lot.

What may be more disappointing to old school Mac nerds is AppleScript support: none whatsoever. It doesn’t even have a vestigial script dictionary. Again, this may not be something most people care much about; personally, I hate having to write AppleScript. But I love being able to write AppleScript. BBEdit’s extensive scriptability is one of its hidden strengths. Nova’s Node-based JavaScript engine is probably more powerful for its own extensions and certainly more accessible to anyone under the age of 50, but it may be hard to call it from external programs.

So is it worth it?

That probably depends on where you’re coming from.

If you loved—or still use—Panic’s older editor, Coda, this is a no-brainer upgrade. If you used Espresso, a Coda-ish editor that always seemed to be on the verge of greatness without ever reaching it, Nova may also be a no-brainer for you.

If you’re a fan of Sublime Text, BBEdit, TextMate, or another editor that doesn’t have native Language Server Protocol support, you should definitely try Nova. Sublime and TextMate have more plugins (especially Sublime), but many extensions seem to be languishing (especially TextMate). BBEdit never had a great extension ecosystem to start with. All of these editors have strengths Nova doesn’t, but the reverse is also true, and Nova may catch up.

If you’re an Emacs or Vim power user, we both know you’re just reading this out of academic interest and you’re not going to switch. C’mon.

If you use Visual Studio Code, though, it’s way tougher to make the case for Nova. Code has a vastly larger extension library. It has the best support for LSP of any editor out there (LSP was developed for Code). Despite being Electron-based, it’s pretty high-performance. Code doesn’t have an integrated SSH or FTP client, but it does have an integrated terminal and task runner and Git client. If you don’t object to using an editor that isn’t a “perfect fit” with the Mac UI, Code is very, very good… and it’s free.

I don’t object to Nova’s pricing model—$99 up front including a year of updates, $49 for future years of updates—but I can’t help but wonder if Panic should have gone with super aggressive introductory pricing. Also, I saw more than a few suggestions on Hacker News about how there should be a Code-to-Nova extension translator; I’m not sure automatic conversion would be practical, but a guide on manual conversion seems like an excellent idea.

For my day job of technical writing, I’m going to stick to BBEdit. (One day I’ll write up an article about why I think it’s the best “documentation as code” editor on the market.) For programming and web editing, when I was working on both a Ruby and a PHP project—the former a Rails learning exercise, the latter an obstinate “I am going to write a modern PHP app without using a framework” exercise—I kept trying Nova’s betas and then switching back to Code for Inteliphense and, I swear to God, MacVim for Tim Pope’s amazing rails.vim plugin. I suspect Nova could duplicate both of those, but I’m not sure I want to be the one to do it. (Also, while Panic has decent reference documentation for writing extensions, I’d like to see a few simple end-to-end walkthroughs for those of us who look at a huge list of reference topics and don’t know where to start.)

But Nova isn’t just pretty, it’s powerful, and has a lot of promise. The editors I’ve been comparing it to have been around since 2015 for VS Code, 2008 for Sublime Text, and 1992 (!) for BBEdit; it’s not reasonable to expect Nova to blow past them in every respect right out of the starting gate. Even so, they are Nova’s competition. Catching up fast is an essential requirement.

So: yes, I’ve bought Nova, and I’m rooting for Panic here. I’ll come back in a year and report if I’m willing to stay on the update train.

[nona-gay-simus-main]

How To Collect and Organize Beta Reader Feedback

As some of you might know, I previously wrote a full draft of my currently untitled m/m romance novel and got through an almost full round of beta readers before I decided to scrap it and start again, nearly from scratch and with a different premise (It went from two timelines - first love/second chance to a single timeline - enemies to lovers).

Out of nowhere, I decided to start rereading and reorganizing my feedback in hopes to find something that would be useful to me in my current draft. Originally, I just planned to delete everything that wasn’t relevant, but a lot of it was really cute and funny, and I mean, I did write a full book - even if it wasn’t all that good - I at least deserve to keep my feedback from it.

Before I went on this endeavor, I foolishly believed that there’s no wrong way to collect beta feedback and boy, oh boy was I wrong! So I’m here to tell you the wrong ways and the right way. But first, let’s revise our terms:

What is a Beta Reader?

Beta readers are readers, who would be interested in picking your book off the shelf if it were already published. That means you should already have a pretty good idea of what is your genre and age category is. There’s no such thing as a ‘fiction book for everyone’. While certain books might have broader appeal, all books have a target audience. So figure out yours. 

The reason to know this from the start is two-fold. First, obviously to know how and where to market your book. Second, different genres come with different expectations and you really don’t want to piss off your core readership. You’re not going to be able to please everyone, and if you try, you’re likely to end up pleasing no one. So while it’s definitely a good idea to look for diversity in your beta readers, you should probably not be looking for genre diversity. 

I’m gonna let you in a little secret: for the longest time, I had no idea I was writing a romance novel. Part of it was that I really just hadn’t read a contemporary queer romance, so subconsciously thought that (contemporary) romance was for the straights only. But the bigger part was that my story just wasn’t well structured so I had no idea what the main conflict was supposed to be. And let’s just say... that didn’t exactly do me any favors when I was trying to get people interested in reading it. You can’t really amp others up about a project if you don’t know what the project is about.

Not only that, but I had a cp/beta reader who while wonderful, wasn’t a romance fan, so there were several points where I felt frustrated with their critique because I felt they simply didn’t like certain conventions of the genre. And that’s not their fault - we were just not a great match. Still appreciate working with them, but I know better now.

Where to find Beta readers?

You can find them anywhere. Tumblr, Twitter, Facebook groups, Discord servers and so on. Just look around. I assume you’re writing your story because you want to read something like it, and if you want to read it, someone else probably wants to read it too.

How to collect Beta feedback?

I normally use Google Docs or sometimes Word. Chapter by chapter is definitely best. It’s much less overwhelming to try to read 10 pages than 210.  Copy/Paste the chapter in a new document and send it to the beta, after warning them for any triggers or squicks that might apply. 

If you’re using Word, send the document over email. If you’re using Google Docs, share it with their email. Make sure to share it through email and not create links (like me), because it’s much safer that way. If you share it, only the person with the access to the email can see it, if you make a link, anyone with the link can see it. Again chances of plagiarism are minuscule, but still.

On Google Docs you want to give them Comment permission. That way they can make comments in the margins and any edits they make will show up like Track Changes on Word. If they are using Word and making edits, simply encourage them to turn on Track Changes. 

Encourage betas to make comments while reading, on everything that they liked, disliked, found confusing, or anything that made any impression at all. Even if’s just ‘lol’ or a keyboard smash. Sometimes those are the best comments to read!

But also keep in mind that not everyone will do that. That’s why I always have a questionnaire or do an interview with the beta. Questions tend to prompt people into organizing their thoughts a bit. Because I’m nice, I’ll share my questionnaire with you, (it is actually an adjusted version of @jennamoreci​‘s questionnaire from her beta readers video here:

1. What is your overall opinion of the chapter? 

2. What do you think of x character ? 

3. What is your favorite scene/part/line and why? (You can pick more than one.)

4. What is your least favorite scene/part/line and why? (You can pick more than one.) 

5. Are any parts confusing or unclear? 

6. Do you think there’s anything specific I need to improve or fix in the chapter, whether it’s the writing, the charters, plot, setting, etc.? 

7. On a scale of 1 to 10, how much did you enjoy the chapter? 

8. On a scale of 1 to 10, how eager are you to read the next chapter? 

9. On a scale of 1 to 10, how much are you enjoying the book so far (not applicable to chapter 1)?

10. Do you have any predictions? 

12. Do you have any other comments, thoughts, suggestions, or advice?

You can also add questions specific to the chapter, especially if you are already worried about a particular aspect of it. You should also ask their opinion on every character who shows up in the chapter.

I prefer to put this questionnaire at the end of the document I send to my beta reader, that way I’m sure they won’t be accidentally spoiling something with my questions and they can go over it right after reading instead of waiting for our schedules to match so we can have an interview. It’s a bit of a copy-pasting game, sure, but ultimately it takes no more than a couple of minutes. I would discourage you from having the questionnaire in the same document you are writing because it might end up messing with your word count, and lie to you that you’ve written more words than you actually have.

Afterward, if you need any clarifications on their answers, message the beta on their preferred platform - for me, that’s usually Discord, sometimes Twitter or Tumblr - to ask for clarifications. Sometimes you can also explain what you were going for, especially if the beta had a question, but don’t overdo it. You don’t want to seem argumentative. 

Oh, and be sure to thank your beta readers. Don’t forget they are giving up their time to help you for free. Nothing annoys me more from a beta reader perspective, then to not receive even a form thank you. 

How to Organize Beta Feedback?

So this is the big one. After you receive your beta feedback, address all the small things you can like typos and grammar right away (unless you’re already pretty sure you’ll be deleting/rewriting the scene) and mark stuff, that they’ve pointed out is badly phrased, etc. for later. Then delete irrelevant feedback, like one-word answers or ‘no opinion’. The feedback you disagree with might be unpleasant to read, but that doesn’t make it irrelevant. And if something makes you really mad, chances are it’s something you probably need to work on.

Then copy all the feedback - every comment and every answer, even if you disagree with them - into a separate document organized BY CHAPTER, not by beta name. This was the mistake I made. You’ll need this feedback when you move on to revision and you really don’t want to have a million tabs or documents open. Аlso it’s much easier to spot patterns if everything is in the same place. And if several people are saying the same thing, that’s probably something to pay attention to. 

Oh, don’t play around with fonts too much. I make everything the same font, but at first, I tried to make it really distinguished between what quote from the manuscript the beta was responding to and the beta’s own words, and honestly, you wrote your book, you know it pretty well. 99.9% of the time you can easily tell what they were responding to and what’s a quote from the book and what is the beta’s own words.

Good luck on your beta journey!

#beta reader #beta readers #beta feedback #feedback #writer #wrting #writeblr #writing tips #writer life #writer advice #writing advice #mine

[coolgreatwebsite]

Cool Games I Finished In 2019 (In No Real Order)

We’re here. The end of the decade. 2019 was a weird, turbulent year for me. Despite my cross-country move already being a year behind me somehow, nothing’s really settled yet. Living situation is still weird, still separated from most of my belongings, I left my full-time QA job for a contractor position at a mobile game advertising company that may or may not convert into a full-time position... everything about what’s going on with me still just feels like I’m completely winging it, and while that’s not a position I’m really comfortable being in for such an extended amount of time, everything seems to be working out okay enough despite it. All this is probably why I spent most of my time playing the shit out of a handful of games rather than playing a bunch of different games this year! Needed some sort of stability. Also when I did manage to pull myself away from the timesink games and play something else, a lot of them ranged from “okay” to “real bad”. But I still managed to play just enough stuff that I liked to where I can put out yet another one of these.  Here’s a bunch of cool games I experienced for the first time in 2019.

Phantasy Star Online: Blue Burst (PC, 2005)

I haven’t bothered to do two thirds of the story quests yet and have barely touched any Episode 4 content so this game technically doesn’t count for this list, but if I left it off I would be neglecting to mention an extremely large portion of my video game playing time this year. I fell back into PSO preeeettty hard this year after the surprise announcement of Phantasy Star Online 2 finally coming to the US. Guess what: game still rules. It feels stiff to play and it’s obviously far less expansive than it seemed back in 2000, but the core of Phantasy Star Online is still as fun as it ever was and the aesthetics are still entirely my shit. I love everything about the way this game looks and sounds, I love stumbling on a weird new weapon, I love participating in the custom seasonal events the server I’m on runs, and I love how oddly relaxing the experience of playing this game and taking it all in is. I will probably continue to play Phantasy Star Online into 2020. I will probably still dip back into it after PSO2 US servers finally launch. If I know you and you want to join my Discord server for PSO get at me. PSO forever.

Cookie’s Bustle (PC, 1999)

You ever play a game that just speaks to you? Even through a language barrier? A game so incredibly out there and bizarre in the exact way you love that you can’t help but adore it despite barely understanding it? Holy moly did I ever find that game. I learned about Cookie’s Bustle through a news story last year about some rare games leaking from a Japanese collector’s stash. Didn’t manage to get it to run back then, but my off and on attempts to get it working finally paid off in March of this year and I’m so glad I kept trying. I knew nothing of this game other than it had a weird name and was about a bear doing sports, and it turned out to be a fully voice-acted and mostly unsubtitled adventure game starring Cookie Blair, a 5 year old girl from New Jersey who sees herself as a teddy bear and has traveled to Bombo World, an island nation once visited by aliens and currently in the middle of a civil war, to participate in the Bombo Sports Tournament. Dead level, I probably shouldn’t have been able to genuinely love Cookie’s Bustle as much as I did. The only context I had for what was happening and what I was supposed to do was provided by a 20-year-old Google translated walkthrough with broken images, the game’s slightly higher than usual reliance on English loan words, and 30-ish years of video games and anime allowing me to halfway pick up on a handful of Japanese words. However, Cookie’s Bustle is dripping with an undeniable and off-beat charm that genuinely transcends language. Even if you can’t understand the words and specifics, you can understand the basic plot, characterizations, and emotions they’re going for. Cookie’s Bustle manages to both be completely off-the-wall bizarre and feel totally genuine and heartfelt at the same time, a balance very few games manage to successfully hit but many of my favorites do. One could say that’s why it seems to have resonated with a decent amount of other people this year, too. Games rarely make me feel sad that they’re over. but when they do that’s how I know they’re one of the good ones. Seriously, go look up a longplay or stream of Cookie’s Bustle if you (understandably) don’t want to go through the hassle of setting it up and figuring out how to play it, it’s impossible not to love.

Devil May Cry 5 (PlayStation 4, 2019)

Here’s something crazy to think about: Devil May Cry 4 came out 11 years ago. Aside from being a potent reminder that time is moving too fast and we’re all going to die soon, that means that there hasn’t been a DMC for over a decade. Devil May Cry 5 does not bare this fact even a little bit. Not only did they pick up right where they left off and manage to make another Devil May Cry game without missing a beat, they made arguably the best Devil May Cry game. I mean I still like the story and single-character focus of DMC3 the best, but DMC5 is the best playing game in the series without a doubt. Nero finally feels like he has a complete and complex toolset, Dante is the most mechanically dense and fun to play he’s ever been, and they even added a new guy that’s... neat to play as, until you start trying to S-rank the harder difficulties. Then he’s kind of annoying to play as. But it’s still cool that they tried something totally different and mostly got it to work! They also did something very stupid that I love and used this game as an excuse to make literally every single piece of Devil May Cry media canon. Like, characters exclusively from the anime and the books show up and act like they’re someone you already know and love? And they go out of their way to explain the most esoteric lore shit possible?? And despite it all they still intentionally give DMC2 as short a shrift as they can??? It’s so dumb, it rules. It’s just one of the many things about the game that show that even with so long of a gap between entries, no love for the series was lost by the people that make it. I don’t think the suits at Capcom expected this game to hit as hard as it did though, because despite there being clear areas where the game could be expanded on with DLC there still hasn’t been anything announced. I hope they’re maybe saving it for some sort of DMC3-esque special edition, or maybe just already working on DMC6, because even after getting all S-ranks I still wanted to play more. The game’s just that damn good.

Hypnospace Outlaw (PC, 2019)

I expected very little from Hypnospace Outlaw. I backed the game on Kickstarter solely because it looked cool and I thought a game about fake GeoCities was neat, and then I immediately forgot about it until it released. Admittedly my lack of expectations stemmed mostly from the fact that it’s kind of hard to set expectations for a game you never really thought too hard about, but even in the brief period of time where I considered it enough to give it money, I never expected it to be much more than a pretty-looking 101 Great GeoCities Jokez delivery vehicle. Boy was I wrong. I mean, it is incredibly good at that, but Hypnospace Outlaw is so much more than a funny period piece. The basic premise is that you’re in alternate universe 1999 and have just become a community moderator for an Internet service provider that allows people to connect to the Internet while they sleep. You’re tasked with browsing the game’s weird fake Internet and issuing demerits to users who violate the five basic Hypnospace rules, but it quickly evolves into something way bigger. Hypnospace Outlaw’s greatest strength is its exceptional ability at weaving together subtle world building, small and engaging character arcs, esoteric microjokes, and a genuine sense of mystery and discovery into an incredibly cohesive and engaging package. It’s as much a game about the people that use and run its weird fake Internet as it is about that weird fake Internet itself. And a lot of the problems both face echo the problems we face with our real world Internet today. When I was mapping out writing this article like a month or two ago I was prepared to go on about how at its core, Hypnospace Outlaw is an incredibly poignant story about how uncaring tech corporations actively harm their users and always have, but then a couple of days ago I read Colin Spacetwinks’ game of the year list and his #1 entry put most everything I would have said about that topic down in a way more eloquent and well-written way than I ever could have. And then I remembered that Friend Of The Site Heidi Kemps covered some of the same angle but from the perspective of the early Internet in an article earlier this year, again way better than I could have. So I highly recommend you read those when you’re done here. What I wanna bring up instead is just how effortlessly surprising and interconnected a lot of stuff in Hypnospace feels, using a mildly spoiler-ish late game example. Two of the first “zones” you’re allowed to moderate when you start Hypnospace Outlaw are Teentopia and Goodtime Valley, which are essentially alternate universe Yahooligans and a little slice of Hypnospace just for Boomers respectively. On Teentopia you’ll see a bunch of kids that are wild for Squisherz, Hypnospace’s alternate universe version of Pokémon, and over in Goodtime Valley you’ll see (much like there was back in real world 1999) a few pages made by religious fundamentalists convinced that everything the kids like these days is the work of Satan. This of course includes Squisherz, and you can find a page by one organization full of crackpot conspiracy theories with flimsy evidence that TOTALLY DEFINITELY backs up their claim. Squisherz contains a wolf, which the Bible warns about many times! This giraffe monster CLEARLY has a pentagram in its design!! And the eye of this snake-like Squisherz is the eye of Horus, an Egyptian occult symbol and NEED I REMIND YOU that Lucifer took the form of a snake in the Garden of Eden!!! It is very clear what this page is goofing on and throughout the course of the game it doesn’t get updated at all, so it’s very easy to laugh at it and forget about it. Very late into the game, you get an optional sidequest. Adrian Merchant, one of the CEOs of Merchantsoft, the company that created Hypnospace, was found out to have logged traffic indicating he was a frequent visitor of a website called Children of HORUS, and a call is put out to investigate what that even is. You can easily find the website, but it asks you for a password if you click the Enter button. Adrian Merchant is consistently portrayed throughout the game as a complete idiot, and the solution to this puzzle has you capitalize on that. Another early game objective ended up with you finding a list of cracked passwords, and one of those passwords happens to be for the instant messenger account of Adrian Merchant. If you can remember that he was even in that text file from forever ago, and then put two and two together that of COURSE that dumbass would use the same password for everything, you just punch in his messenger password and you’re granted access to the Children of HORUS page. It turns out that HORUS is an acronym that stands for Hiding Occult References in Utmost Secrecy, and the page itself is a basic leaderboard with a list of names and two numbered columns reading “Hidden” and “Found”. In that list of names you’ll find A. Merchant, along with the names of various other CEOs and celebrities you might have read about elsewhere in Hypnospace. One of the other names on this list is F. Kazuma, the CEO of Monarch, creators of Squisherz. The funny conspiracy theory website from the beginning of the game that you most likely forgot about was, about this one specific thing, correct. There was an eye of Horus hidden on the snake from Squisherz. Not as any sort of Satanic plot, mind you, but only as part of some weird millionaire dickwaving contest. This dumb tiny revelation is not called out by the game at all and nothing comes of it, it’s just there for you to notice if you’ve been paying enough attention. Hypnospace Outlaw is LITTERED with stuff like this. Weird small interconnected things you wouldn’t expect to be interconnected. Little dumb things you wouldn’t expect to have any sort of payoff but somehow do. And it’s also just as chock full of big things. Having all the pieces fall into place at once to where I was able to access Hypnospace’s equivalent of the dark web was the best sequence in a game this year for me, even beating out the outlandish shit in DMC5. Getting and solving the final case was a rush. Hypnospace Outlaw is full of incredible moments big and small. It’s genuinely engaging and affecting, which is so much more than I was expecting from a game that was pitched to me as “Funny GeoCities Cop”. It almost has no right being so good. But it is. Hell, even the music rules! I didnt even get into that! I don't have enough time or space to get into that now! The music is so goddamn good! I know I started these lists because I had no interest in ranking games, but every year I sort of jokingly-but-not-jokingly say “haha this game sure would be my number one if I did that!” for at least one game. It’s time to fully lean into it. I don’t gotta rank ‘em all, but I can pick a favorite. Hypnospace Outlaw is my favorite game of 2019 with a goddamn bullet.

These games were also cool, I just had less to say about them:

Etrian Odyssey (Nintendo DS, 2007): Man, this series just started out good, huh? I dabbled with the first two games in college when I got a DS flashcart but never really dug in until EO4, and the first game is enjoyable in just about every way the modern ones are. Definitely more barebones and punishing though. Kero Blaster (PlayStation 4, 2017): This is a game by the creator of Cave Story that does not aim to be Cave Story, and that’s fine! A fun little shooter in its own right, though I do think the shooting in Cave Story felt a little better than it does here. Space Invaders Extreme (Nintendo DS, 2008): I played the shit out of this game in college thanks to that flashcart I mentioned before, but I never finished a playthrough in full until this year for some reason. Still way stylish and way fun! I need to get a copy of the second one... CROSSNIQ+ (Nintendo Switch, 2019): Incredibly chill puzzle game that can be as hard or easy as you want it to be. Almost uncanny in how well it emulates the style of late PS1/Dreamcast games. Super Mario Maker 2 (Nintendo Switch, 2019): Mario Maker 2 is kind of weird for me. It’s a solid improvement in a lot of aspects, but a clear regression in a lot of others. Also the online multiplayer is the second least amount of fun I’ve had with a video game this year (Secret of Mana swooped in and stole the number one slot near the end). Still, I had a lot of fun with it and I’ll probably end up going back to it eventually. Katamari Damacy Reroll (Nintendo Switch, 2018): The original Katamari Damacy is still every bit as fun and charming as it was upon its original release. This port is weirdly based on the Japanese version with the English text inserted, which means no English voice acting and Wanda Wanda only plays in the multiplayer mode. The Joycon sticks also aren’t the greatest for doing charge rolls. But none of these faults detract too much from the game. Bring on We Love Katamari Reroll! Earth Defense Force 5 (PlayStation 4, 2018): Sandlot somehow keeps finding ways to make each new EDF bigger and explodier, and EDF5 is the biggest and explodiest yet. I think the mission design in 4.1 was more solid overall, but 5 feels the best to play and has the most fun tools. Also the dialogue is the most absurd its ever been, and the final boss goes for it way harder than the series ever has. Pokémon Shield (Nintendo Switch, 2019): This game is honestly just okay, but leaving it off would again be neglecting a game I put a ton of time into this year. Pokémon Sword is fun in the way most Pokémon games usually are, and extremely half-baked in basically every other aspect. I’m still having a good time putting together teams and finding shinies and doing The Pokémon Thing regardless.

And that’s 2019 (and this decade) in the bag! I don’t know where anything’s going from here, but I’m going to ride it out as best as I can! I hope you do too! As always, thank you so much for getting to the bottom of all these words. I’m hoping to be in a more stable place mid-2020, and then I want to get back to all the things I haven’t had time to do. I want to get back to streaming, I want to write more dumb articles like The Best Babies, I want to do it all! I hope I will be able to do it all. Until then!

#article #year wrapup

[emperor-uncarnate]

My Top 20 Favorite Video Games

(Listed in the order in which I played them)

Pokémon Red Version - Along with my matching red Game Boy Pocket, this was the first video game I owned that was purely mine and not handed down from an older kid. I still go back and replay this every couple of years on that very same Game Boy Pocket or on the 3DS Virtual Console. I know there’s FireRed and a whole series of more modern Pokémon games at my disposal but the original Red Version easily gets the most nostalgia points. Sometimes that’s what it’s all about, no? Banjo-Kazooie - Similarly, the N64 became my first home console that wasn’t a hand-me-down and it came equipped with both bear and bird (complete with “screaming about it on Christmas morning”). After going back and replaying this almost twenty years later I gained new appreciation for how goofy and colorful it is. Treasure Trove Cove is so fucking catchy. Sonic Adventure 2 Battle - From its kickin’ soundtrack to its satisfying controls to its random-ass virtual pet simulator this game has it all. Multiplayer was always pretty exciting too, I remember many an afternoon trying to one-up a friend during a grind race. No 3D Sonic game compares to this if you ask me, although Sonic Heroes and Sonic Unleashed come sort of close in their own ways. What I wouldn’t give for a proper Sonic Adventure 3... Marvel vs. Capcom 2: New Age of Heroes - I remember playing this at my local arcade in my youth before eventually getting a port of it for the Xbox 360. The look of its 2D sprites are phenomenal and - if it will help you understand why I love this game - I’m singing “I Wanna Take You For a Ride” to myself as I type this. Metroid: Zero Mission - This was the first Metroid game I ever actually beat, and it was the game that made me fall in love with the series. I love Metroid Fusion and Metroid: Samus Returns as well but I like Zero Mission’s visual style the most. I was so thrown for a loop when Samus lost her Power Suit towards the end of the game but it only made getting it back that much sweeter.  Metroid Prime 2: Echoes - I started playing this one in 2004 but didn’t officially beat it until way later in 2017. For a while I had a pattern I’d go through every few years of “start playing, enjoy it for a while, get lost, and start over for some reason.” Took me thirteen years to get serious about it but it earned its place as my favorite of the 3D Metroid games. I felt so fulfilled once it was complete, like I was achieving a childhood dream. Kingdom Hearts II - I don’t think I would’ve gotten into this game if not for my friend’s suggestion but I couldn’t thank him enough for it. This is another one of those games you only vaguely understand when you’re a kid only to realize how complex and intuitively designed it is in your adulthood. After the long wait, Kingdom Hearts III proved to be pretty satisfying but I just have too much history with its predecessor for it not to win a spot on this list. Jak 3 - Though my interest in this series burned fast and bright, this game still sticks out to me as one of the best I’ve ever experienced. I played the third installment before Jak and Daxter or Jak 2 but that’s fine because it’s the best goddamn one. Driving around in the desert, swapping out gun modules, and taking flight on some janky wings made of light were definitely the highlights for me. World of Warcraft: Cataclysm - I got into this game during the latter period of Wrath of the Lich King but I didn’t feel like an official WoW player until this fiery, grim expansion. It was the first real online game I’d ever played (if you don’t count Neopets and Adventure Quest) that I started as a Night Elf Warrior in a PVP server and ended as a Worgen Hunter in a non-PVP server. Because fuck the Horde, that’s why. The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim - I got Skyrim on a whim because I literally couldn’t think of anything else I wanted for Christmas in 2011. There was no hype for me, I knew nothing ‘bout no Dragonborns, but I thought “heck it” and dove in anyway. After originally playing it on Xbox 360 and replaying it more recently on PS4 (with a slew of mods) I can say with confidence this game continues to blow me away. I always seem to find something new even though I feel like I know it like the back of my hand. I did get involved in The Elder Scrolls Online later on but Skyrim is still where it’s at. Soul Calibur V - I was first introduced to the tale of souls and swords (eternally retold, of course) through Soul Calibur II and only because you could play as Link on the Gamecube version. Fast-forward to 2012 and I was still on board with its story and cast of characters but its character creation was really what kept me hooked. Soul Calibur VI turned out to be a little disappointing but I definitely got the most out of its fifth installment and I’m guilty of having played for hours and hours on end. Final Fantasy XIV: Heavensward - What began as a free trial because I was bored turned into a years-long interest in yet another MMO. While the base game was okay it really picked up speed with Heavensward and I was hooked from that point onwards. After a certain point I caught myself not skipping cutscenes and discovered - oh hey - the story’s actually really good. Star Wars Battlefront - I loved this game when it came out on PS4 and used it often to get my insatiable Star Wars fix. Aerial combat was my downright favorite part of the game and I loved smoking some TIE Fighters in an X-Wing or in the Millennium Falcon. Its sequel Star Wars Battlefront II could’ve made this list but EA was being a real dirtbag about it and now I find it hard to look back on happy memories of it the same way. The 2015 game is thankfully unsullied by those sour elements, however, so I’d say its gotta be my favorite Star Wars game ever. Overwatch - This game came to me at a time when I only wanted to play games that had character creation. I was hesitant to get to know all the characters and lore but I’m overjoyed I did since they’re so rich in personality and fun details. Once I got the hang of characters like McCree, Soldier, Reinhardt, and Widowmaker I was absolutely sold and I still play it two years later. Sonic Mania - The delightful trailer for this game got me all riled up but I wouldn’t know just how great it was until I was playing it myself. I don’t think I could ever truly enjoy my previous favorite 2D Sonic games (Sonic the Hedgehog 2, Sonic 3 & Knuckles, and Sonic CD) ever again because this game just feels better than all of them combined.  The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild - I didn’t really grow up with the Legend of Zelda, only ever playing A Link to the Past and Twilight Princess, but I immediately knew I was going to enjoy this open world take on the series. Just the sheer freedom of what you could do and where you could go was enough to reel me in and its aesthetic still amazes me with how great of a mood it generates. Final Fantasy VII - I still remember going into a GameStop when I was in high school and naively attempting to buy a used copy of this game for the PS1. It was an “epic fail,” as I would’ve said at the time. But over a decade later I downloaded it on the PS4 and went to town, getting my full FF7 experience at long last and loving every minute of it. Very stoked for the remake; it’s probably my most anticipated game right now. Marvel’s Spider-Man - What a surefire hit this was. From the moment the first gameplay footage was out I knew this was going to be the must-have web-swinging, wall-crawling good time. I love that there are so many ways to play the same character and everyone can really embody their own version of Peter Parker. I’m also from New York City so seeing a digital rendition of Manhattan was a real treat (even though they changed uptown a lot and my old apartment doesn’t exist in the game). Super Smash Bros. Ultimate - Nine of the other nineteen entries in this list feature a character who’s playable in this latest Smash game. I get that people like Melee for reasons and whatever but how can you not like SSBU, the game that has it all? I’m still riding the high of Banjo and Kazooie entering the fray and I absolutely cannot wait to see where things go from here. Never had more fun playing local multiplayer in my life. Red Dead Redemption II - Never cared for Grand Theft Auto and the first Red Dead Redemption was fun but damn, there’s nothing quite like its sequel. I’m still working my way through the story just because I’ve spent so much time out in the wide open world, taking my time and seeing the sights. I might be a city boy but I have a deep appreciation for the American West and if this game ain’t just the prettiest damn thing I ever did see... hoo-WEE! Top shelf.

#video games #pokemon #banjo-kazooie #sonic #metroid #marvel #kingdom hearts #jak and daxter #star wars #soul calibur #final fantasy #skyrim #spider-man #super smash bros #red dead redemption 2 #breath of the wild

[mylifeasaserver]

My Day As It Happened: Mother's Day 2019

9AM: My stupid ass wakes up because my stupid ass volunteered to go in early because my stupid ass wants more money for storm chasing.

9:30AM: My stupid ass finally gets out of bed. I rush through the shower and head to work, making the critical mistake of missing breakfast when I have a long day ahead.

9:45AM: My stupid ass shows up to a packed parking lot with a ton of people out front. I get out of my car and some jackass in the parking lot asks me if I know how long the wait is. I inform him that I don't, I just got here. He tells me to call and find out for him, I decline. He tells me I'm lazy, in return I call him a jackass.

9:50AM: I walk in and I'm informed that I have 5 tables waiting for me - they know I always show up early so they went ahead and sat me. Joke's on them though, I only came in early because I have to poop. The GM is very displeased when I tell him I'm going to the employee bathroom and it won't be safe to enter until the door handle stops glowing.

9:56AM: I have successfully completed one of those dumps that really gives you a boost and improves your mood - deny it if you want, but you know exactly what I'm talking about.

10AM: After a thorough hand washing because I'm an asshole but I'm not disgusting, I find out that the GM went to each of my tables while I was ascending to another plane of existence and informed them I was on my way but would be a few minutes. Since they had a seat, all were comfortable with a couple minute wait.

10:15AM: All 5 tables have drinks and their orders are in. I stacked the tickets and put them all in at once. The GM tells me not to do that, but has no response when I ask him which tables I should've ignored in favor of a slower approach. It's now I'm told about our sales contest.

10:20AM: A server in the next section over asks me to pick up a 2-top she's too weeded to take. I agree. It's my newest friend Jackass, from the parking lot. OH BOY! He asks me if I regret giving him grief earlier since now I'm not getting a tip, and tells me to be honest. The smug look falls off his face when I tell him I don't care, as I'll have more than enough tables today so his non-tip won't even register. I'll still give him passable service though. He orders.

10:55AM: All 6 of my tables have their food, full drinks, and their check. All of them, even Jackass, are happy with the level of service they were given. I know because Jackass was the worst tip at 13%. It was nice that we could reach some level of understanding.

12:15PM: The kitchen comes to a standstill. No orders leave for 15 minutes, and none of the servers know why. I never did find out. I didn't ask either, so there's that.

1:30PM: We're off wait, and sections are adjusted for the night servers. Most of us get a 5 table section. The hostess, the really good one, starts apologizing to me. She double sat me 2-tops and doesn't want me to get mad at her. I laugh because double sat 2-tops is nothing. She's a good kid. I tell her if any server gives her shit about such a ridiculous thing to tell them to go bus themselves.

2PM: I get double sat again - a 5-top and a 10-top, but right next to one another. Company policy is anything over an 8-top requires 2 servers, but company policy can go fuck itself.

2:15PM: The 5 top has ordered, the 10 isn't even all here. I cleverly get drinks for those that are there, because that's less I have to do later. One of the adults spills his water.

2:20PM: The water mess is cleaned up, and the people at both tables have a good laugh as I give the adult a kid's cup. Now having a good time, both tables interact with one another and me. A good tip is all but guaranteed. I have no other tables, so I take the time to fuck around with people in my section.

2:30PM: The rest of the 10-top arrive, and they all order what I recommend. All ten of them - this really bodes well for the sales contest.

3PM: The 5-top is happily chatting with one another after finishing their meal. At this point they can camp all night and I wouldn't care. The 10-top is happily eating the food I recommended. Since the window (where food magically appears in the kitchen for servers to run, for those of you who don't work in a restaurant) is clear and I have no dirty tables, I start walking around the dining rooms looking for dishes to take or refills to get to help coworkers. I find two tables that say they've been waiting 25 minutes for service.

3:15PM: I find out that Duckface showed up, checked in with the hosts, and then promptly got sent home because she wouldn't put her goddamn phone away. Nobody thought to tell the hosts. Now I have tables in 2 dining rooms. Delightful. Their orders are in and I offer both tables a free dessert for the inconvenience.

4PM: Both neglected tables have eaten and enjoyed their free dessert. I tell the GM what I did and he flips his shit - telling me I can't go giving food away. I tell the GM I planned to pay for the desserts myself and show him the slip to prove it, and then tell him I'll buy anything I want for my tables. I get enough off of both tables to buy the desserts 7.5 times over. I know how to handle annoyed people.

5PM: I have no tables anywhere in the dining room, but the hostess who sucks at her job decides to try something new: following rotation. Soon I have 3 tables. All are super chill people.

5:30PM: The GM asks me if I can take a 17-top on my own. I look at my three tables - none of which need a damn thing - and tell him that yes, I can take a 17 on my own. Company policy clearly only applies when it's convenient, so I can conveniently circumvent it when it suits me. I make a mental note to remember this table for when I defy policy in the future.

5:45PM: I only have the 17 people at this point. Their order is in. They have drinks.

6PM: The order for the 17 top comes out of the kitchen. 3 steaks were overcooked, 2 plates had the wrong sides, and 2 of the delivered plates weren't what was supposed to be part of the order. First thought I have? HOW DID I FUCK IT UP SO BAD? Wasn't me. Fortunately, the steaks were mid rare, sides are an easy fix, and the other 2 plates were an easy fix. The people were cool about it. I do not offer free desserts.

7PM: The 17-top is done eating. Prebussing is done. Checks are split and delivered. The hostess asks me if I mind being skipped in rotation so I can help another server who is having a rough time of things. I may have misjudged her, so I'm glad I follow my own advice and don't give the host(esse)s any shit. I don't care if I don't get any other tables at this point of the night since I'm due to be cut soon. The server in need of help has a particularly difficult table that's trying to do their best to be the most pain in the ass group in restaurant history. She has 2 other tables that I more or less take over. I more or less don't take the tips though, because that's not helping. I make a mental note to remember these tables for when I need help in the future...just in case.

7:10PM: The Table of Pain has successfully given their server a mini breakdown, and while she's composing herself the good manager makes a grave mistake and asks me to care for this table. The regret of this decision could weigh on her for quite some time, depending on how this plays out. The table is four bastardly old people who aren't happy with anything and hate everything. They seem to freely hurl insults at me as they did the server who is still out back.

7:15PM: I've decided that I give zero fucks about what these people think. If they want to be pissy assholes I will happily deliver a reason for it. They inform me that every time they come to our restaurant the food is bad, the service is bad, and our prices (which are pretty fucking cheap) are too high. I tell them it's mighty stupid to keep coming back when things are that bad, but that's more on them than on us. Much to my disappointment, they respond favorably to this treatment. They must have assumed I was joking.

7:20PM: I tell the Table of Pain that since they clearly don't know how to order food I'm going to order for them (coincidentally the dinner in the sales contest.) Again, they bewilder me by responding favorably to it. I decide that if they like abuse that I'm here for them. I allow them to order sides and I put the order in.

7:30PM: The Table of Pain officially becomes mine, and the other two that I more or less took over have left. Oh goody. I refill drinks at my sole table, and tell them that I don't care whether they want more to drink or not so they can deal with it. I think I have this figured out.

7:45PM: The food arrives. I put the main course (same for everybody) down on the table, and tell them they can figure out who gets what side, and then I put them down wherever there was room. The good manager hears this and drags me into the office to ask me what the hell I'm thinking.

8PM: I'm cut. I'm also not going to give the Table of Pain a chance to say they were ignored.

8:30PM: The Table of Pain is done eating. I tell them they can figure out splitting the check on their own and they decide to surprise me by using the word "please" in asking me to split it for them. I say "Fine, if you're gonna be nice about it." I split the checks and tell them to leave and not let the door hit them on the way out. They clearly must assume I'm kidding. Again I'm dragged into the office so the good manager can try and figure out what the hell I'm thinking. If they complain I'm being written up. SO SCARY!

8:35PM: The Table of Pain flags down a server and asks for the manager. She goes out. They tell her they actually enjoyed themselves "for once" and their waitress gave them a hard time and they liked it. MOTHERFUCKERS I WAS TRYING TO PISS YOU OFF SO YOU WOULDNT COME BACK! Now I get to clean my section, do my sidework, and roll silverware.

8:45PM: Reap the rewards of a 4% tip from the Table of Pain and discover the hostess that I previously thought sucked at her job had already cleared and wiped my tables for me. Now I'm tipping her out because despite company policy forbidding it, my GM has taught me to ignore policy when it suits me.

9:15PM: My side work is done. My section is cleared. I find out that I won the sales contest - and it wasn't even close - and one of the prizes offered was to skip rolling silverware. **for those wondering, the other choices were to get cut early one night this coming week, choose your section, or a free meal** I gleefully claim my prize of not rolling silverware and run the hell out of the building. All in all, a decent mother's day to work. Decent money too.

Normally I don't use my blog to advertise for anybody or anything, but my friend Jess has started doing art commissions. I enjoy her work and have ordered a painting for myself. Even if you don't want to buy, give her page a visit and say something nice. And if you do want to buy or have questions, talk to her. She's a good friend of mine and she's super nice. -J

theart-ofjess.tumblr.com