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meirimerens · 1 year

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hi, this is a very random ask but it's currently 2:44 in the morning where i'm at and i've been scrolling through your blog and i just...i'm so in awe of your connection to pathologic! hard to explain rly, but the game, the world and the characters of patho mean so much to me but i've had a hard time ~understanding~ or ig? connecting? to it the ways others do, it always feels like everybody else just inherently "gets it" and i do not. despite finishing the first game, and knowing a lot of info!

i'm not really sure where i'm going with this, but do you think this sounds logical? i guess everybody has their own unique connection to the world and the game, and so it's hard to compare...i do feel passionate about it, i really really do, looking through your blog makes me smile and i think your thoughts and renditions of patho stuff might be my favourite from what i've seen so far! especially the herb brides. LOVE the herb brides. i just feel a bit lost in the sauce i think...almost like i'm incapable of forming thoughts as philosophical, eloquent and well-made as others or that i've got it all wrong. have you felt this way, in your Pathologic Journey Of Discovery?

omg same timezone darling... we could be neighbors for all we know... i'm going to try to make sense i have burakhovsky visions-induced headache + also well. is 3AM now innit.

first things first Thank You... so happy to know you Enjoy... i have much joy and much love in making my silly drawings and texts and notes and knowing they're someone's Fave so far.. blushing and kicking my feet boyishly honestly.

now to the meat (lol!) of the question... it sounds perfectly logical. it of course does. pathologic (especially classic hd) is... dense and kinda burly of a narrative, the type which Doesn't Leave You Indifferent regardless if it's in a Good Way or in a Bad Way. it's something different (again, esp. p1) than most videogame narratives and experiences we're used to, especially in this day and age. it's this denseness this burliness which i think make people think They Need to make like... essays and shakespeare plays about this game - and some of us do, and it goes craaazy - but i'll tell you what. i don't think one needs to. and you know what? cos it's a game. the team behind it gave it this shape, this form, specifically, because it's my belief as someone who Makes Shit that they found it to be the best vector of it. the thinking, the thought, the essays, the eloquence, the philosophical questions, they all planted it in the game. they planted it in this big pixel gardens. and by releasing it, they wanted you to see that garden. other people will crouch down and pick apart what kinda flowers those are, and what they mean in x or y language. they'll analyze the composition of the soil. and some people will see the worms in the humus and be like damn that's a healthy soil. to me it comes back to what i had said to someone a whiiile back who sounded like they were quite insecure about not being able to make art or write fics for fandoms: you don't gotta. the devs made a Game, they didn't sent out a questionnaire, or write on a blackboard "WHAT DOES THIS MEAN. you have 4hrs. counts for 70% of the final grade". playin a narrative game is, typically, an alone experience. many people who are Changed by games do not write essays or deep philosophical pamphlets about it. many of us in the fandom do because it called to us it spoke to us it this or that, but there is no One Way to walk the garden the devs have planted. and they planted it so others could smell the flowers.

maybe sharing my personal Journey with patho will like Shine Light on why i'm The Way I Am about it: 1) completely silly, but i found it while i was going through my last exam to earn my bachelor's degree. here's one. not everyone has found this game while gettin their BA. 2) we've had architects in my family. i am attached to architecture as a subject, as an art, as a way to understand the world. i am aware of the way architecture shapes something, for the better and the worse. but most importantly, the connection, more than Intellectual, is very, very personal and like. my feefees-based. 3) my birthtown also has its own legends with A Bull! the game plays on that for me, the fact that It's Just Like Mine FR! i also Me Personally espouse a. goddess-earth centered type of spirituality so the mother boddho/living earth/spiritual conducts that are the Herb Brides it all felt. almost familiar to me. 4) patho, in narrative, speaks of art, and of creation. this speaks directly to me as an artist, a writer, a mfer who Makes Shit. 5) i've always been very. in-my-head right. just me and the thoughts marinating. been like this since as far as i can remember. brewing and boiling thoughts in my skull comes naturally to me, because my neurons are Trained To That. i'm also very much like. 🤓🤓 right. i'm a huge fan of accumulating Knowledge, sometimes even just Base Level, for fun. pulling threads between that Knowledge like that one Pepe Silvia IASIP bit is what my brain has been trained to do. and darling i love it here (mostly). Writing About Shit is what i DO. Drawing About Shit is what i DO. 5.5) i been to art school, and a huge part of the experience here was puking like guts-brewed art but being able to have a reasoned, reasonable Discussion about it, to be able to explain, to dissect, to see the made piece from other angles. i found patho at the end of that art school time, so i had gotten the habit, the want, maybe even the need to do that, to dissect others' art in order to understand mine better (or, alternatively, to cope with the fact that sometimes i Couldn't explain it) 6) the game(s) has/ve Grief as a theme (not the character, the Feefee). it's especially potent in p2. don't want to get too #personal but i have intimate knowledge of grief, and seeing characters dealing through it, and it being anchored in a narrative, is both interesting to me intellectually but also. in-my-feefees-ly. 7) this one is esp. p1 related but that one truly tickles like. Me Bones. not one second of that game have i felt lost, overwhelmed by the text, by the implication of the text (i have felt overwhelmed from Game Mechanics, but not the Dialogue/Lore itself) because as verbose as weird as cryptic as she is she made complete and utter sense to me. i have a <3 funny brain <3 and it's full of. nonsenses, incoherent, racing or twisting thought trains, flights of ideas, faulty/nonsensical connections. a lot of my writing comes from that, which i then polish for reading (as i often cannot. even reread what i wrote when that happens, thankfully with life being slower than it was it happens less). p1 complicated and verbose and slithering and snaking ways of telling you shit of giving you information of describing people and relationships felt like speaking to something that truly, truly understood me.

all of those ^ to say that My Experience of pathologic is mine. no one can have the same. and someone else's experience of pathologic will be Theirs, and i cannot have it. and your experience of pathologic is yours, and no one, neither me or anyone else, can have it the same as you do. we all, as Gamers(tm), come to the game with baggage, with different experiences, with different intellectual abilities, with different narrative comprehensions shaped by our education, our culture, our preferences, with different Desires as to what we feel a game Should Be to us, should make us feel, different desires as to how we want to experience the game.

it may feel like everybody "gets it", but you can't know how much work someone puts into wording their thoughts about the game, how much time they spend tuning their vision of it, how long they might have spent in-game being like What the Fuck. What the Fuck. What the Fuck. What the Fuck. i think patho deserves a time of Digestion. where you take it all in and your body&mind, that has experienced the game as a narrative and a play, breaks into very thin pieces the game(s) and it runs through you. it might take weeks, months. years. you might never be able to feel the game Feed You in the way you feel like it feeds some people, but i don't think that's a... necessary experience for you to enjoy the game, to find it deeply important to you. i've played, or watched other people play, many, many games that i consider important to me. that were there at a time in my life where it was good that they were, or that i thoroughly and deeply enjoyed, but that didn't Change Me like patho did, and as i've said, patho Changed Me because it ticked So Many Boxes for me. and no two people will have the same Boxes for this game to tick.

i repeat it over and over, but pathologic is a game about perspective and interpretations At Its Core. within the narrative. its role-playing experiences mean you can enter this world, but also that you can exit it. are there Objectively Wrong ways to think about things in this game? oh sure. yeah sure. are there interpretations that stem from culture/background/preconceived notions/stereotypes and are out of character, out of narrative, or go against relatively transparent bits of characterization or lore? also yes. most are benign, really. but most of the time... you're just watching another plane of the shape.

yeah, i've used this analogy before: we're all looking at the same polyhedron (in the sense of "a three-dimensional shape with flat polygonal faces, straight edges and sharp corners or vertices"), with its finite-but-huge number of planes, edges and corners. no two people are looking at the exact same planes, edges and corners. we might be looking at some together, but we're never seeing the same colors from the other planes reflect on them, the same light of the sun hitting the edges or the undersides. we're not all crawling in the same crevices, or following the same peaks. but we're all lookin at the same shape.

that was uh. fucking long! goodnight... don't stay up to late... hopefully you get what i mean. godbless

#ring ring (answers)#anonymous

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lovesickfolly · 9 months

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QL Favorites Tag Game

I've wanted to do this one and @shortpplfedup tagged very liberally, so here we are. I tried to give some varied answers and not do all of it from the same show(s). These answers might also change depending on my mood.

Favorite Thai QL: Moonlight Chicken. A grown up queer story with layers, different generations, comments on the queer experience, and amazingly told in a gorgeous setting and with experienced, comfortable actors/pairings.

Favorite pairing: EarthMix and Jaeyoung/Sangwoo & WinTeam Actor-wise: EarthMix. Connected to my first answer, lol. They're comfortable and comforting and know what they're doing. They give strong, believable, mature performances regardless what story they're in. Moonlight Chicken and A Tale of Thousand Stars are two of only about 7 shows I've ever given 10/10 to and they are a big part of that. Character-wise: Jaeyoung/Sangwoo, Semantic Error, & WinTeam, UWMA and Between US. I had to go with two here because I like them for very similar reasons. It's the push and pull of personalities that aren't similar at all, yet the eventual realization that they blend super well and are better together than apart. Jaeyoung and Sangwoo are entertaining and funny and an exploration of what it means to be wrong about someone. (So wrong that you actually fall for the person you loathed initially.) Their story is told expertly. Meanwhile WinTeam is such a comfort to me. I think this is the first sidepairing I ever really got invested in - complete with reading fanfic before I'd even finished UWMA - and watching their story unfold in Between Us was one of the highlights of 2022 for me. They banter and fight and yet find comfort in each other. What started out as meaningless turned out to be oh so important for both their lives.

Favorite main character: Nozue, Old Fashion Cupcake. I almost went with Wen from Moonlight Chicken here, because he's good and relatable and (I am incredibly fond of Mix)... However, if I mention relatable then it has to be Nozue from OFC. I'm giving away my age here by admitting I can see myself in him. (I'm not quite that age yet, but I'm certainly not high school or university BL level...) Watching him discover himself and grow made me so happy.

Favorite side character: Milk from Choco Milk Shake. Initially I thought the premise of this show sounded ridiculous, but it turned out to be glorious and sweet and slightly painful. Just the way i like it! And obviously the cat who fell in love was my favourite one. Other faves: Tiw from My School President, RJ from My Tooth, Your Love, Sky & KaoJao from Secret Crush on You, and Tankhun from KinnPorsche.

Favorite scene in a QL: Bad Buddy. The bedroom scene where Pran finds out Pat (thinks he) has feelings for Ink. Nanon's acting still tugs at my heartstrings to this day. The quiet, pained realization in his eyes and posture. The way he hides it from Pat while tears threaten to escape because of the disappointment. You can perfectly see the hope - maybe Pat won't actually have feelings for Ink, maybe he could like Pran, maybe... - fade and make way for heartache Yeah, that will forever be one of the best.

Favorite line in a QL: Recently, the one that resonated with me the most was 'I thought you felt the same way' from La Pluie. I explained why here.

Most anticipated QL (& why): Love Upon a Time Look, I adore historical BLs - a result of me watching and loving so many cdramas - and since Bed Friend I've been 100% on board with NettJames and their chemistry. And no, not just the steamy bits. They're very good and comfortable together, have a believable tension between them, and they're just stunning people that I can't help but draw constantly. Combine this with a good story, a beautiful setting, and I already can't wait! Similarly, I am also excited about I Feel You Linger in the Air and Man Suang.

Healthiest relationship in a QL: KingUea from Bed Friend. With the exception of one scene, King was a walking green flag throughout this show. He had a lot to deal with and yet he managed incredibly well to be understanding and supportive. Both him and (especially) Uea had a lot of deep, painful issues and a lot of pressure from the outside world, yet he stayed strong and loved Uea the way he deserved to be loved even when Uea wasn't ready to let him yet. And he didn't cross any of Uea's lines! Quick nods of appreciation to WinTeam from UWMA and especially Between Us, and PluemKevin from Ghost Host, Ghost House.

Most toxic relationship in a QL: PrapaiSky, Love in the Air. I could go with TharnType or one of the KinnPorsche pairings, but honestly when I think of toxic I think of PrapaiSky. Yes, they're cute when they're actually together, but the getting there bothered me so much that I actually wrote angry posts about it. And I usually avoid talking in great length about things I dislike about shows I'm watching. It's also because TharnType and VegasPete (or even KinnPorsche and KimChay) are at least acknowledged to have toxic elements to them by their fans, whereas I've seen a lot of attempts at defending PrapaiSky. So, yeah. I could also have gone with both the pairings from Cutie Pie.

Guilty pleasure series: I Will Knock You. Is it the best series out there? No. But is it adorable and cute and something I enjoyed way more than I initially expected? Yes. (Do know that it's a BL that takes a while to actually BL. However when it does you'll adore it.)

Most underrated series: My Only 12% I thought this show was so cute and deep and it had me crying sad and happy tears. It told the story of incredibly close childhood friends who are forced apart by one of them moving abroad. When they're reunited they finally become more than just friends. Basically, 2023's favourite plotline, but done in 2022. It's also a lot deeper than it sounds. Watching one of the main characters realize he is queer and in love with his best friend was a beautiful yet torturous scene. Earth is so good and the setting was so comfortable and soft. (While telling a painful story of feeling left behind and finally recognizing your feelings.) And the pairing is adorable.

#tag game #thai bl #thai bl series #thai bl dramas #korean bl #japanese bl #taiwanese bl

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silent-partner-412 · 2 years

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I HAVE FINISHED ZERO TIME DILEMMA

tbh it’s been a long time coming… me and my friends played 999 last year over the course of a week, and then we took quite literally a year to start and finish VLR. genuinely we started it in June last year, and due to us sucking ass at scheduling we didn’t finish until this month. it wasn’t even an issue with the game, i loved VLR, just that the game is so long and we sucked at committing 😭

anyway i just sped through ZTD in three days by myself and it’s been very interesting. somehow i’ve found a lot to love about the game but also i kinda understand why it has something of a reputation among Zero Escape fans. i have a few thoughts.

first of all, since this is the first ZE game i played by myself, the escape rooms were a fucking treat. i never needed help on any of them but they still were super confusing and puzzling in the best way. i have multiple pages of notes from this game and it was such a joy to go through one of these games without the help of my friends who are way smarter than me. idk if the escape rooms are as good as VLRs but i loved the experience i had regardless.

second of all, the overarching plot was definitely not as good as the last two games, it was kinda convoluted and left a lot about VLR unanswered or unsatisfying. but there was still a lot to love, D team was on the whole fantastic (the fact that this is the only team Uchikoshi wrote himself really shows) and while C team wasn’t as good i thought Carlos was absolutely precious and Junpei and Akane have only continued to grow on me as this series has gone on. honestly, the two endings for D team were just fucking fantastic, i really liked Diana as a protagonist and the amount of lore we got for Sigma and Phi was just wonderful. definitely all my favorite moments of this game were with this team.

but then… there’s Q team. and goddammit if this game has an achilles heel it’s these bitches. these three just do not work as a unit; pretty much all their scenes range from boring to nonsensical to frustrating, and when that started spilling into scenes with the other teams it was immensely frustrating. Q/Sean was fine i guess, he was a little bland but mostly interesting as like the AI type character?? but the other two… my god. Mira was mostly a non presence but when she did do something in the story it kind of fell in the “so bad it’s good” range for me? like her serial killer shit is on the Korekiyo range of ridiculous, but at least it was kinda funny lol. Eric on the other hand i think is fucking terrible all around. pretty much all the worst and least interesting conflict surrounded him; as a villain he was boring and stupid, but then when the game wanted to make him sympathetic he just ended up being pathetic because his entire emotional core is fucking MIRA, a SERIAL KILLER. 9/10 times when i was groaning or yelling at my screen it was because of him, the story would probably still have a lot of issues without him but having him gone would’ve saved me so much headache. definitely the worst Zero Escape character imo.

honestly tho i’m just happy to finally say i’ve completed this series. it’s a shame ZTD was so low budget and didn’t come together how a lot of ppl hoped, but this is still a super awesome VN series that does a lot of interesting things with the idea of timelines and unconventional storytelling, with some super fun gameplay segments to boot. i don’t really expect a ZE4, but i guess i’ll be ok with AITSF2 in the mean time lol.

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jstlikemagic · 4 years

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nsfw alphabet: jeff wittek

hiya everyone! so someone had asked if i could go in-depth on my bdsm breakdown of jeff but i had already gone through the acronym. SO! i remembered that the nsfw alphabet existed and thought it’d be put to great use on this blog. please reblog or like if you enjoyed! :)

a = aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

jeff is definitely very caring after sex. if he knew he pushed you and went a little too rough on you, i could 100% see him getting an ice pack for your welts or putting some cream on them just to make sure you’re okay. i also feel like after sex, he would check in to see if you enjoyed yourself because he believes he has to have a top performance. imagine he went to rough on you and you were having trouble walking, so he picks you up bridal style and carries you to the bathroom to make sure you pee (no uti’s in this bitch) and to make sure you’re cared for. then he’d carry you back to bed and tuck you in:,)

b = body part (their favorite body part of their partner’s)

i believe jeff is an ass guy. some may debate on this BUT even if you don’t have the thiccest of the thiccy, he would love it regardless. with or without the sex, he seems like the type to always have his hands on your ass no matter what. doing dishes? his hands smack your ass. y’all are kissing? his hands are on your ass. if you’re riding him, he would most definitely guide you with his hands on your probably already bright red cheeks. / if you wanna read a little bit more about this, read my bdsm breakdown!

c = cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

he’d def want to finish on your ass or all over your tits. if he’s fucking you doggystyle and is about to come, he’d pull out and release his cum all over your ass. if he was finishing while y’all were in missionary, he’d instruct you to sit up on your knees and push your tits together. you’d put your tongue out just to see if you’d get a little taste of his cum and he’d jack himself off and aim at your tits.

d = dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

sometimes he’d like to pick fights with you because he knew the makeup sex would be BOMB AF. or even if y’all didn’t make up, the angry sex would be so rough and fulfilling. he’d love to have the chance to wrap his hand around your throat or manhandle you but you didn’t mind it at all because it was CONSENSUAL and you knew he wouldn’t push the boundary.

e = experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

i’d say he’s very experienced. he lost his virginity at the age of 12 so he’s had about 18 years of practice. plus his last girlfriend is spicy as hell so i wouldn’t surprised if they fucked all the time or had $picy sex :)

f = favorite position (this goes without saying)

doggy.

g = goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

not really. not to say y’all would never be goofy but i’ve always thought that like if something went wrong during sex, you would laugh it off and he’d get embarrassed. imagine you and the vlog squad are taking a trip in an rv. so you and jeff are trying to get it on in the bunks, i could 100% see him fucking hit his head off the top bunk and you’re just laughing his ass off and he keeps on saying that it isn’t funny and to shut the fuck up lol

h = hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

he is 100% a ken doll down there. he cares a lot about his image so i’m sure he’s well maintained under there.

i = intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

“as far as making love, i can see him as extremely passionate but soft at the same time? like i feel like he would be soft in the way of talking to you. like i can imagine him gassing you up and just calling you beautiful and telling you how much he loves your certain features. like he’d just be a complete softie! his strokes would 100% send it home and he’d probably be gripping the headboard while thrusting into you passionately.“ (taken from one of my blurbs)

j = jack off (masturbation headcanon)

if you went on a business trip or a vacation, he is def relying on his hand. if you’re around, i can’t see him doing it often. maybe you had somewhere to be and he caught a glimpse of you and got horny. so while you’re gone, he decides to masturbate and you realize that you left something. so you walk back to the apartment and nerf comes tapping to you. hearing moans coming from the bedroom, you turn to nerf and say ”hey nerf, what is daddy doing?” you inch closer to the door and the moans become more prominent. slowly opening the door, you’re met with a naked jeff, abs well defined, and his hair sticking to his forehead due to all the sweat. “woah woah woah, y/n, what are ya doin’?” he’d panic. getting all shy, you’d tell him to continue and pretend you’re not even there as you search for the item you left behind lol

k = kink (one or more of their kinks)

“some kinks that i see jeff would have are: double penetration, dirty talk/degradation, and candle wax play. when it comes to double penetration, i don’t mean in the typical way of two people filling both holes. i don’t think jeff would want to share his partner so i envision more of his partner (who has a vagina) wearing a butt plug while he fucks his partner’s vagina. another kink we can explore is dirty talk with degradation. just like david, i can see him saying stuff like ‘can you take daddy’s cock like a good girl?’ (hehe daddy kink) and ‘do you like it when daddy fills your holes like the slut you are?’ dirty stuff like that ya kno?“ (taken from one of my blurbs)

l = location (favorite places to do the do)

it depends. if y’all are at a hotel for example (like the one in miami), it’s the balcony. i could see him fucking you from behind while pulling your hair and nipping at your neck. if it’s a casual day in the life; the bed, the couch, or maybe even the barber chair? when i think about having sex in the chair, i think of his partner first giving him head while he’s sitting in the chair, then transitioning to riding him in the chair, and maybe you’re holding onto the arms of the check and fucks you from the back. :,)

m = motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

what turns jeff on? every part of your being. as corny as it sounds, he seems like you could just make a funny joke and everyone laughing would turn him on????? that maybe sounds weird but he’d be so into you that something as simple as that could get him going. also when he catches you dancing at a party and just exuding confidence all over the place!

n = no (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

probably roleplay and every that’s too taboo. i could see him not enjoying roleplay because he’d think it’s “too cheesy”

o = oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

i believe he prefers to receive other than give. and no one come for my neck for saying that. it doesn’t make him selfish because his stroke games seems a1.

p = pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

it depends. if y’all are making love, it’s slow and sensual. if it’s a hookup or just fucking, y’all are going fast and rough. (here’s a blurb where i talk about both of these)

q = quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

they wouldn’t happen often but if you did it, it was in a public place. i can totally see jeff and his partner hooking up really quick in david’s bathroom during a party because y’all literally couldn’t wait till y’all got home. other than that, i feel like he really wouldn’t like to rushed so quickies didn’t happy as often as with someone like david.

r = risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

i think he’s down to experiment but it depends. i don’t see him as OUTRAGEOUSLY kinky but say one night you’re like “hey wanna try anal?” he might be hesitant at first but try it after you beg him. i feel like if it’s what his partner wants, he’ll do it because he’s a sucker for them.

s = stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

he’s a pretty healthy guy so i’d say three rounds TOPS. and as far as how long does he last? i’d say 30-45 minutes!

t = toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

the only toy i could envision him wanting to try on you is a butt plug. due to the fact i’ve stated that i think he’s an ass guy, i think he would go nuts to see his princess with a pink and glitter butt plug in all its glory. :,)

u = unfair (how much they like to tease)

i don’t think he’s into teasing that much during sex. i think he’s clear, concise and to the point. however, i believe he’d be the biggest tease before sex. like imagine sitting on his lap in david’s tesla after leaving the club. and his hands are just stroking the inner part of thighs and he’d lean into your ear and say something like “can’t wait till we get home mmmm-” and then kiss your neck

v = volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

he’s definitely loud. matt king said he was loud when he masturbates and i believe it. i feel like he has more breathy moans and low moans???? definitely a grunter as well

w = wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

he’s definitely against threesomes with a male partner. he may be willing to share you with a female friend but i could see him still getting jealous over sharing you. if there was a threesome with you and another woman, he would be the one to dictate the situation. like telling you two to kiss and or feel each other’s tits or get the other woman off.

x = x-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

this has been a topic of discussion many of times on my blog but i’ve come to the conclusion; he may not be thick but he’s long.

y = yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

he definitely has a high sex drive. y’all remember that jeff’s barbershop episode when matt said he could hear jeff masturbate a lot? joke or not, i believe it. due to his flirty nature as well, i could see him definitely down to fuck 24/7.

z = zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

i feel like he would knock tf out. this guy gets up early in the morning and powers throughout the day so if y’all have sex late at night, he’s knocked. but if it’s early in the mornings, that’s just one way for him to start the day. he would probably lay in bed for like 30 minutes then take a shower and start his day.

#jeff wittek smut #jeff wittex imagines #jeff wittek blurbs #jeff wittek x reader #vlog squad smut #vlog squad imagines #vlog squad blurbs

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kumoriyami-xiuzhen · 3 years

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Hakuoki Yuugiroku 3 Fall Saito Story

managed to recover my first post of the year which seemed to have disappeared from tumblr via exporting it…

hope everyone had a safe and happy new year… recently hit 500 followers over the holidays so I’d like to say thanks for appreciating the stuff I’ve uploaded and my translations (I kinda feel the need to say this but: I am an adult who occasionally uses crude language so please be aware of that. Also, i don’t run an image-focused blog. i only wanted to post everything that I thought wasn’t available as clean images online so that people would be able to find and access more Hakuoki content… and i do believe i have done that for the most part).

Threw together a list of things that I hope translate this year into in one of my other posts today… here’s hoping that it will be less volatile than 2020… tho im not expecting much given the news yesterday though i can’t say that i didn’t expect it.

Anyway. translation. Story from the 3rd Yuugiroku game.

The CN of the title I have for this translates to the effect of “The fate/return/destination of (a) migratory bird(s),” which I think looks weird and I’m not sure how accurate that tl is, so I’m just going to categorize these stories by season and char lol. not that it’ll be any time soon before I go and translate another one of these since this did feel quite long…. and it’s not like anyone else is translating these (please someone translate these xD there are 2 side stories per route and i am not looking forward to torturing myself with them!).

also, a significant portion of the punctuation and stuff wasn’t used in the tl i found for this, so that will be reflected in this… will fix it later.

Hakuoki Yuugiroku 3 - Fall Saito Story

Translation by KumoriYami

That day I was delivering Hijikata-san’s message and came to Saito-san’s room.

Yukimura Chizuru: Saito-san, are you there?

[I] Called him from outside his door but he didn’t seem to hear me.

Did he go out?

But the other warriors clearly stated that he was in the room.

Using a slightly louder voice, I called again.

Yukimura Chizuru: Ah, Saito-san are you there?

Saito: Yukimura, is there something [you need]?

Yukimura Chizuru: Hijikata-san said that he had something to say to Saito-san so I was asked to get you.

Saito: Vice-commander? I see.

I got it/I understand I will go at once, you’ve worked hard, Yukimura. [I’ll check the game for punctuation later….probably?]

Yukimura: It’s rare, for Saito-san didn’t hear me calling you.

Saito: I was concentrating, [and] I didn’t hear your voice.

Yukimura: Concentrating? Was it on sword maintenance?

Saito: nn, more or less.

Yukimura: ．．．．．．？

It was rare for Saito-san to answer questions in such vague terms.

Saito: Isn’t (the) vice-commander calling me? I’ll hurry up.

Saito: You can go back.

Yukimura: I understand, then I’ll be going now.

I gently lowered my head and prepared to leave Saito-san’s side.

Yukimura:．．．．．．

His unusual mood made me feel a little worried.

Afterwards at dinner, there was a strange/unusual incident.

Saito-san who finished eating earlier than everyone else set down his chopsticks.

Heisuke: What’s wrong are you already full Hajime-kun?/Hajime-kun you’re already full?

Saito ……Nn.

Yukimura: There’s more of Saito-san’s favourite tofu.

Saito: I’ve had enough for now, I’ll be leaving first.

Leaving behind those words, Saito-san bought his plate into the kitchen.

Nagakura: What’s wrong with Saito? It’s simply unfathomable for him to only eat a small portion of tofu.

Harada: It doesn’t look like he’s feeling unwell, so maybe he secretly ate earlier?

Yukimura: What, Saito-san isn’t a person who would do something like that.

Toudou: Hajime-kun’s been acting weird lately. In the morning today, he went back to his room right after practice.

Nagakura: did he have a headache? Sano, did you ask him?

Harada: If he doesn’t want to say anything, then I can’t ask.

Nagakura: If this continues, perhaps something permanent might happen [gave up rewording for now lol].

Yukimura:．．．．．．

What was wrong with Saito-san?

Was something bothering him?

A few days later.

For the sake of mending the warriors’ uniforms, I went to the common room [tl is large main hall].

Chizuru: Ah, you’re here, Saito-san.

Saito: ! Yukimura——

Saito-san hid what he was holding behind him in a panic.

What was it?

It looked like a book.

Saito:……Will you be mending clothes here?

Yukimura: Yes, will this bother you?

Saito: No, it’s no bother.

Yukimura: Then I’ll be mending/sewing here.

I took out my needlework box and began mending the clothes.

Saito-san seemed to be hesitating about if he should stay or leave/ leaving or staying.

Yukimura: Um.

Saito: What?

Saito: Was Saito-san reading something just now?

Saito: Ah, um, nn, more or less.

Yukimura: Don’t mind me and continue reading.

Saito: But.

Yukimura: Am I bothering you?

Saito: No, but……

Saito-san looked very confused, after…

Saito: Yukimura.

Yukimura: What is it?

Saito: I hope you don’t tell anyone else that I was reading this book.

Yukimura: Don’t tell the others?

What was going on?

To actually not want any of the other warriors to know about this book.

Could it be that this book was on something, like assassination techniques, that shouldn’t be passed onto others?

I felt a bit uneasy.

Yukimura: I understand. I will never tell anyone else.

Saito: I believe you.

With a sharp glance at me, Saito-san began to read again.

The cover of the book looked badly worn.

Yukimura: Is that a manual on kenjutsu?

Saito: Yes, I happened to find it a few days ago, and took it to read. As a result, I’ve started reading this without stopping. If I have time, I’ll read. [reword later]

Yukimura: So it was like that.

That’s why Saito-san has been behaving strangely lately.

Yukimura: But why don’t you want to let the other warriors know?

There was no need to hide a swordsmanship manual.

Saito: That, because. The author of this book and I are not from the same school. Reading manuals from other styles is considered unethical.

Yukimura: I see.

I couldn’t help but laugh at such serious reasoning.

But, that truly was Saito-san’s style.

I started sewing again as Saito-san to read again.

We focused on our own things, and while we were in the same room, it however was natural for there to be no dialogue.

Retreating to the tranquility of the autumn night with only the sound of cicadas, [reword later] and the occasional sound of Saito-san turning a page.

Suddenly I was very interested in that sound and was looking in/looked in Saito-san’s direction.

Focused on reading, his entire posture was completely serious.

My heart felt happy just by looking at him, and I unconsciously smiled.

As a result, he noticed my staring, and while his gaze didn’t leave the book, he asked me a question.

Saito: What’s wrong? Is there something on my face?

Yukimura: No, Saito-san’s expression is very earnest/serious.

As a result, Saito-san tilted his head slightly, murmuring quietly.

Saito: So there’s nothing strange. I don’t understand what you’re thinking.

Yukimura: If I’ve upset you, I’m sorry.

Saito: I’m not upset.

Saito-san lightly sighed, adjusting the way he sat slightly.

Yukimura: Saito-san really loves kenjutsu.

Saito: I don’t have any other skills, but I do have some knowledge about kenjutsu/experience.

Yukimura: Ah, a talent/Oh my.

The conversation ended like this, and Saito-san once again began focusing on the manual.

From time to time, there was the sound of pages being turned.

The silence was soothing. I continued sewing the clothes.

A few days later.

I finished washing the clothes, and was about to head back into my room.

Nomura: Spare me, Saito-san. There’s no way we can defeat Saito-san./How could we beat Saito-san!

I saw Saito-san, Souma-kun and Nomura-kun practising with the blunt side of their swords [check jp mtl].

It looked like he was trying to put what he had read in that book a few days ago into practice.

Saito: A little bit more, just a bit more and I’ll have grasped it. One more time.

Souma: But we’re going on patrol next. Regardless of what is said, we can’t neglect our duties as members.

Saito: I’ll finish this as as [you?] obtain a point. There won’t be any problem.

Nomura: To quickly get a single point, what the hell is that! This is terrible.

Souma: But it’s pointless to continue like this…

As of the three of them talked, Nomura noticed me an started speaking with me.

Nomura: Ah, Yukimura-senpai, you’re just in time.

Yukimura: Ah, just in time for what?

Nomura: Why don’t you ask Yukimura-senpai to practise with you, Saito-san?

Saito: Ask Yukimura?

Yukimura: This, that’s not something I can do, there’s no way I can fight Saito-san.

Nomura: That doesn’t matter, we’re about the same [skill] level.

Yukimura: But…

Nomura: We have to go on patrol later, so please help us.

Souma: Nomura, don’t force Yukimura-senpai like this. Yukimura-senpai is also very busy.

Yukimura: ．．．．．．

Fighting against Saito-san will be incredibly difficult.

Yukimura: Saito-san, am I okay [acceptable?]?

Saito: Is that okay? Have you been instructed to do anything?

Yukimura: I’ve already finished with those things. However I don’t know if I’ll be of any use.

Saito: That is more than enough, thank you, Yukimura.

Yukimura: Not at all.

Nomura: The we’ll be going to work, so we’ll leave this to you, Yukimura-senpai!

Souma: Is this really okay, Senpai?

Yukimura: There aren’t a lot of opportunities to learn/This is a good opportunity to learn.

Souma: Then, we’ll be leaving/take our leave.

Yukimura: Okay. See you.

The two of them went directly back into headquarters to prepare for patrol.

Saito: Then, let us begin, Yukimura. Are you ready?

I took a stance a distance away from Saito-san, and held up my kodachi.

Yukimura: Please advise me. [well not sure what the JP equivalent of this is….]

Following the silence, my entire body was filled with a sense of tension [reword later].

After.

At the sound of my foot stepping forward, in a split second, Saito-san was facing me.

Chizuru: !

I hurriedly prepared myself, but he was faster than I was.

Yukimura: Ah!

My kodachi flew in an arc and landed on the ground.

Saito: Ippon.

Yukimura:……

Saito-san’s killing intent left me speechless.

Saito: As expected, knowledge acquired from reading needs to be tested in real combat.

As Saito-san spoke, he picked up my kodachi, which had fallen onto the ground, and handed it back to me.

I received it with trembling hands.

Yukimura: Thank you very much.

Saito-san became stronger again.

Saito: The fact remains that you have also improved, Yukimura.

Yukimura: Is that so……

Saito: Let’s return now. It’s about time to prepare dinner.

Yukimura: Yes!

Afterwards, Saito-san and I helped prepare dinner together.

—-end—

next week’s post is Saito’s 7th Ginsei no Shou chapter!

#hakuoki #hakuouki #hakuoki yuugiroku 3 #hakuoki game translation #Saito Hajime #Yukimura Chizuru #souma kazue #harada sanosuke #Toudou Heisuke #nagakura shinpachi #Nomura Risaburo

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magpieinthemorning · 3 years

Text

Up next for rage blogging a netflix show as I watch it: Next in Fashion

- Omg everybody’s outfits and their personalities!!! <3 <3 <3 It’s really painful that every episode someone gets eliminated because they are all so amazing.

- Really hated Isaac’s attitude, though, and the dynamics that resulted from pairing him with Nasheli. She deserved so much better! She would have done so much better with another partner! It was extremely unfair to her.

- I especially loved Carli and Daniel’s pantsdress in ep 1 - I really wish I could wear it! :O

- Painful watching Hayley and Julian - he was such a character and I would have liked to see more of both of their work, but they just did not fit together. No surprise at all that the teams who know each other well and have worked together a lot already are the most successful.

- In the streetwear competition, on a scale from 1 to 10, how racist was it that both of the teams chosen as the bottom two had the only Black women, and the only Black people left in the competition? In streetwear? Seriously? Bless guest judge Kerby Jean-Raymond. The show is edited and scripted to be extremely emotional (literally people are crying all the time, it’s fantastic), but at that point, when he decided to walk out, I truly felt it so much. Love him. Love Kiki and Farai, who are constantly being judged much harsher than the other contestants. Thankfully here the “nobody gets eliminated” move was used for good, and not to keep in boring old white guys like in Blown Away ... because there are no boring old white guys in this show! Yay! :D

UPDATE 1:

Ep. 5 - I’m not that interested in underwear, but I really enjoyed all the boxer shorts for the women’s looks. And Angel’s men’s look was amazing! I wish they would have shown it without the jacket. There was way too much focus on the made-up bra support issue. Women actually like to feel comfortable, and wasn’t it interesting that both of the all-women teams made bras without wires ... maybe because they know how uncomfortable that shit is?! So yeah ... :-/ To be honest it felt like a setup that the tops MUST have underwire and pushup. (That’s so 90′s though?) The judges didn’t ask Farai and Kiki’s model how she felt in it, like they asked one of the others, they just straight up decided to hate their creation because of the missing underwire. They acted so rude when they were looking closer at their design, the whole “What’s this?!” and pawing right under the model’s boobs. :/ Also I didn’t like Claire’s attitude and being angry that nobody was eliminated last time - so she’d have preferred if her own team was eliminated? And guess what ...

Ep. 6 - Claire and Adolfo were eliminated, so maybe it taught her a lesson to not throw her own people under the bus? Or not ... I don’t know, it was somehow interesting how she stressed her Asian half at the end (in the speech about how she is still to be taken seriously even though she is small and half Asian), as if she wanted to distance herself from her Blackness, and look away from how racist the elimination process was? I may be reading too much into it - I’m also mixed race and really interested in how other mixed race people experience it. Still impressive that Claire and Adolfo got so far without having worked together before, if I’m not mistaken. Btw one of the judges went out of their way to compliment the unfinished edges on one look, while it had been so harshly criticized when Farai and Kiki did unfinished edges on the streetwear challenge. Sigh. All the looks in this challenge were really great, and I guess that says something about my own style ... \m/

I don’t know if I want to keep watching, because the judges are so irritating (sorry Tan :( ) and the elimination part is so stressful ... But I also want to see more amazing clothes and how these amazing people make them in such a short time!

UPDATE 2:

Ep. 7 - Nooo, Angelo ... It was totally fair that he was eliminated for his grave lack of technical skill, I just loved watching him on the show so much. Together with Charles they were unstoppable and complemented each other so well, but apart? ;___; Same with Carli, together with Daniel they were awesome. I could relate a lot to wanting to quit instead of finishing something half-assed. :/ So nice that other contestants were looking out for her. It felt a bit more relaxing to watch now, although the stakes keep getting higher and the contestants fewer, but it seems like they are being judged more fairly now that Anti-Black racism is off the table lmao ... Sigh, I’d really love to watch arts and crafts contests with only Black judges and contestants. + I adore Adidas and wear way too much of it, but cringe at Jo Aberg’s heavy Swedish accent, haha (I used to live in Sweden and way too many of them go around telling foreigners that Swedes don’t have an accent when they speak English *eyeroll*).

Ep. 8 - Daniel seems like such a genuinely nice and caring person, so it’s kind of okay that the white guy stayed in the game over the two Asian guys. Charles on his own was perhaps missing Angelo’s pizzazz ^^ ... I liked Marco and his stuff a lot, and it seemed a bit like a setup here, too, that they criticized his design for being “too costumey” (I kind of hate that word now thanks to this series) and he got thrown off, instead of just doing his thing the way he wanted it, regardless of whether he would be eliminated for it. Kind of “pro wrestling” that Minju was so freaked out by the challenge and then she made the best look hands down. Loved it! Especially with the leather band/harness - I don’t get why they criticized it. Overall I was a bit disappointed in all the other looks, because I like a lot about military style, but very few except Minju used the kind of stuff that I like. I didn’t really like Angel’s look that much - the concept was amazing, but that coat seemed a bit awkward to wear and I’m a bit confused about why everyone liked it so much, but maybe I just don’t get that about fashion. Happy for her though! Many of her other looks have been really great. + Judge Elizabeth’s crooked tie drove me bonkers. WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE FASHION WHEN YOUR TIE DOES NOT COVER YOUR TOP BUTTON. lol

UPDATE 3: SEMIFINALS

I’m happy for Minju and Daniel and can’t wait to see them in the finale! I liked Ashton’s looks so much! I’d love to wear the women’s top (and maybe I will try to sew something similar for myself :-p). Loved the reference to hakama - I thought he made all the right choices of what to adopt from the inspiration. A bit bummed that he got eliminated, especially since he was so community oriented when he talked about what it would mean for him to win. I squealed when I heard Angel’s inspiration, Tibetan horse racing! Here I felt like the looks were a bit far off from the inspiration. But they looked so gorgeous. Maybe if she’d used the bleach lace pattern (on the edges for example) it would have been even more amazing. The women’s look was so great! Though I was a bit concerned about the crotch exposure :D Overall maybe Angel didn’t need the win so I guess it’s fine that she got eliminated. I’m a bit confused about why they were so in awe about Daniel’s looks. Both of the looks were really nice and clean, but I didn’t think they were all that interesting or innovative, and the message was a bit simplistic. And I literally made a similar quilt a few months ago, so I can’t really agree with the “it’s NEVER been done before” sentiments. I’m really looking forward to his stuff in the finale though! For Minju I felt the same, it was great, but I couldn’t really relate to how they thought it was so new and fresh. The men’s pant length would have surely gotten her eliminated if she’d been Black, haha. Can’t wait to see what she makes in the finale - I’ve loved almost everything she did so far.

UPDATE 4: FINALE!!!

OMFG MINJU!!!!! YAY!!!!! Aaaaah, her collection was so beautiful and fun! And all women’s looks! It was so nice! It was so nice that Minju’s sister also realised that she had held Minju back creatively and that it was wrong to do that. I didn’t read spoilers about the ending, and kept nervously thinking that it wouldn’t surprise me if Daniel the white guy won the entire competition, but then Minju won and Daniel was so happy for her! <3 <3 <3 I cried so much!

#next in fashion #next in fashion netflix #next in fashion spoilers

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aetm-malereaderimagines · 4 years

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Hey! How about a male reader scenario where the reader has an intense crush on Sawamura Daichi and finally confesses to him ( after a LOT of struggling) only to find out Daichi was also about to confess to him on the same day. Also i love your effort to make male reader scenarios. It really makes it easy for queer males to also have the same experience as straight female fans. Keep it up!!

Firstof all, thank you for your request! Second of all, duh XD I’m a gayguy myself so ofc I write gay fanfiction! Mymain reason to start this blog was actually my frustration caused bybeing unable to find decent HQ!! reader inserts where the reader islegitimately gender-neutral. Yes, even gender-neutral. There are some nicemale reader inserts out there but they’re few and far between.So I usually end up looking for gender-neutral insterts, headcanons, and scenarios but… Some of them areblatantly meant for female readers. Some of them claim to be gender-neutral but you can clearly see they’re actually not or just employ male and female gender stereotypes I’m definitely not comfortable with. And some ofthem are female reader inserts that are tagged as x male reader… SoI decided to say “fuck it” and create some content myself that myfellow queer readers can actually enjoy! LGBT people are alreadydenied the same experience regarding love and sexuality that straight people get so if I can somehow contribute to making this world ofours a little less fucked up for my fellow queer folks, that’s all I could ever wish for!

Okay, but enough of myinconsistent rambling and let’s get into the actual scenario!Although I probably have a crush on every and each HQ!! character(well, maybe except some of the older guys lol), Daichi is actuallyone of those I’d probably consider the best boyfriend material soI’m really glad you requested a scenario for him! Justfyi, I made the readerKarasuno’s 2ndyear manager so that Ihave something to start from, hopefully you don’t mind. Ireally hope you’ll like it! enjoy!

Also let me apologize that it took me so long to write this but for some reason, I’ve been feeling utterly uninspired lately :/ It took the first episode of S4 and a volleyball match I watched yesterday for me to finally get some inspiration to finish this scenario XD

Pairing: Sawamura Daichi x Male Reader

Word count: 1659

告り告られ — A Double Confession

“Oh come on, just confess tohim!”

“You know I can’t!”

“You can and you will!”Yachi’s eyes bored into you and you turned your gaze away, feelingas though those two goldenorbs were penetrating your very soul. “Why do you have to make itharder than it actually is? You like him, you confess, you gettogether. Simple!”

“Like hell it would go thatsmoothly,” you scoffed. “I don’t even know if he’s gay.”

“Oh come on, have you not seenhow close he is with Sugawara-san?”

“But that’s precisely theproblem!” You looked Yachi in the eye confrontingly. “If he’snot gay, I don’t even have a chance, and even if he is, I stilldon’t have a chance since he’s probably already inlove with Suga-san.”

“…you will confess to himeventually anyways,” Yachi cut the conversation, pouting.

You looked away. You knew she wasright. You were going to confess to him eventually. It’s just… Itwas so fucking hard to work up the courage. You’dhad a crush on Daichi since your first year, since a while afteryou’djoined the volleyball club.

Atfirst, it was all fun and games. Youjoined the club simply because you liked volleyball but getting towatch pretty boys get all worked up and sweaty while playing was anice bonus for you. Once you realized you liked Daichi, it got evenmore fun… for a while. Howmany people could say they get to see their crash shirtless on adaily basis?

But the longer you watched, thecloser you got to him, the more painful it got. Daichicould look scary at first, especially during practice sessions whenhe had to rein in first and second years, but asalways, appearances couldbe deceptive. Youmanaged to befriend him, also getting closer with Suga and Asahi inthe process, but soon yourealized that being just friends was hardly enough for you. Youstill couldn’t forget that one time when Daichi said you were “likea younger brother to him” and how much it hurt.

“All right!”

What snapped you out of yourcontemplation was Daichi’s voice. Whileyou were bickering with Yachi standing on the side of the court, theboys were actually training. Shimizu was in charge of taking notestoday so you and Yachi didn’t have much to do at the moment.

You turnedyour eyes in the direction Daichi’svoice had come from. Andthere he was, looking asgood as always, with that damn smile of his he always had on his faceafter a good receive, just a few feet away from you.

So close yet so far.

It was the day. It was the dayyou were going to confess to Daichi.

It had been a month since yourargument with Yachi. Over the last 30 daysand even more late-night phone calls with Yachi, you decided toconfess your feelings to Daichi. Even if he didn’t like you back,you wanted him to know what you feel. The days were growing longerand Spring High wasgetting closer and closer. Regardless of whether you won or lost, thethird-years were going to quit the club once the tournament was over.And once that happened,you were bound to grow more distant with Daichi, let alone having achance to confess to him. If you were going to do it, you had to doit now.

The morning sun was shininggently upon you as you walked through the schoolyard withyour heart pounding in your chest andyou still had like half a day to go before the actual confession. Youreally hoped your teachers wouldn’t quiz you today. You’dprobably fail it miserably since you couldn’t focus on anythingelse but the dreadful perspective of what was going to happen thisevening.

Yourplan was simple. You were going to take alittle longer cleaningup after practice so that you end up staying alone in the storageroom. Then, Yachi was going to “notice” that you’re missing andask Daichi to go and look for you because she had “somethingimportant to talk to you about.” If everything went smoothly, youwere going to end up alone with Daichi in the storage room. That wasgoing to be your chance.

When you were going overthe plan in your head walking down the hallway, your phone rang. Youpulled your phone out of your bag to find out you had a new text fromYachi.

“I’m sorry m(_ _)m”

You tilted your head. That wasall she wrote.

“What do you mean?” youtexted back as you entered your classroom.

You spent the first periodstressing over Yachi’s message. Whatever she was sorry about, itwas bound to be nothing good.

Turnedout Yachiwas sick.

Accordingto Yachi herself, he had suddenly felt really unwell last night whichhadturned out to beonly the beginning of a long, feverish night. Whenher mom had taken her to the doctor this morning, she’d beendiagnosed with a bad case of influenza. Shewould probably be staying at home for at least a week.

Yourplan was ruined, which of course made you very upset… but somewheredeep in your heart, you also felt kind of relieved that the momentyou were going to confess to Daichi was put off by at least a week,and you hated yourself for it.

Youlet out a deep sigh as you leaned against a mop you held in yourhands. Youended up being the last one left in the gym anyways, no matter yourplan. You’dlied to Shimizu and the guys about needing to clean up the storageroom—you needed some time foryourself.

“Needsome help?”

Youturned your face up to find the source of the voice only to be facesby Daichi leaning against the door frame, looking at you.

You gulped.

You didn’t even need your planto be left alone with Daichi.

If this wasn’t the heavenstelling you it was high time you’d confessed then what was.

“Yeah,actually, I’m really glad you’re here,” you said, lookingstraight at Daichi. “There’s something I need to tell you.” Yougulped. “I like you.”

Youfinally said it.

Daichi stood in front of yousilently, as though processing what you had just said, and you justwaited. You weren’t going anywhere until you got an answer,especially given that Daichi was standing in the doorway, blockingyour way. You had quite a spectacle to watch anyways.

Thefirst few seconds, Daichi’s face just… froze, as he stared at youunblinkingly. Then came a slight blush which gradually turned moreand more red eventually taking on the color of an especially ripebeet. Hecovered hismouth with both of his hands, as though he was in an utter shock.Which he probably was. It took him like half a minute to calm down.Once his blush subsided a little bit, he lowered his hands andfinally let himself blink.

“I… I like you, too,” hesaid quietly, turning his eyes away from you.

“No, I don’t mean it likethat.” You smiled sadly. “I mean it, like, in a romantic way.”

“That’s what I mean, too.”

This time it was you that foundyourself shook to the bone.

“What…wait, what?!”

“I actually came here toconfess to you,” Daichi explained, his blush growing brighteragain. “Shimizu told me you’d said you’d stay in the gym alittle longer and everyone else has already left so I thought it wasmy chance…”

You stared at each otherwordlessly for a few seconds. You were the one to start laughing.

“Whatthe hell is this?! Whathave I even been worried about this past year?!”

“Iknow, right?” Daichi giggled as well. “Wait,you’ve had a crush on me fora yearalready?!”

“Over a year, I’d say,” youresponded. “You?”

“You beat me on that one.”Daichi’s smile was really the most beautiful thing you’d everseen. “I’d say since the previous Spring High? You remember howyou cheered me up after we lost? That’s when I realized.”

“Isee.” You couldn’t stop grinning. “So I guess we’reboyfriends now?”

“I guess so.” Daichi grabbedyour hand and pulled you toward the door. “Let’s go hometogether.

“That’s so amazing!!!!!!I’m so happy for you two!!!!!!!!! And I’m so so sorry I couldn’thelp you today T_T”

You smiled at your phone. Yachiwas really the sweetest.

“If you hadn’t supportedme this whole time, I wouldn’t have confessed to him in the firstplace!”

“Sorry you had to wait.”

You put your phone back into yourpocket as you turned your eyes to Daichi. He had to grab hiss stufffrom the club room and you’d been waiting for him downstairs.

“No problem,” you responded,readjusting the strap of your bag on your shoulder. “Shall we gothen?”

“Let’s.”

You walked down the streetleading up to the school. You were talking and laughing, enjoyingeach other’s presence. It was late and there was nobody around.Daichi grabbed your hand and you squeezed it back.

“Hey,” Daichi started, hisvoice sounding a little anxious. “Don’t you wanna come over? Myparents are at home but I’m sure my mom will be happy to have youover for dinner. We could watch some movies or something.”

“Sure thing,” you respondedwith a smile. “I’d love that.”

Daichi smiled at you again andyou couldn’t hold yourself back any longer. You leaned in placing agentle kiss on his lips.

A clap of distant thunder rumbled throughthe skies. You couldn’t know that yet but it was just the beginningof a thunderstorm that was going to force you to stay the night atDaichi’s house.

Not that you minded.

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rutilation · 4 years

Photo

In honor of the wailing and gnashing of teeth that has occurred in the last few days for fear of potential incoming Joshua discourse, I have decided to get ahead of the curve and start discoursing about him before the anime even airs!

(--because he’s an interesting character who I didn’t really understand until several years after finishing the game.)

So, I got into the game around 2010, and while I comprehended the broad strokes of Joshua’s character, he seemed more like an inscrutable trickster than a person with relatable emotions, and his reasons for setting the plot into motion were as opaque to me as his reasons for backing off at the last second.

In particular, a big sticking point for me was his assessment of Neku. He considered him “the worst person in Shibuya” and chose him as a proxy because of that. And for years I thought that was the most ludicrous aspect of the game. If the very worst person you can find in your bustling metropolis is a grumpy teenager who only has the potential to commit murder when under duress, then how could you possibly think that it’s beyond salvation, you utterly incoherent moron! But, several years afterwards, I realized why he saw Shibuya as unsalvageable, and why he held Neku in such contempt, and the disparate elements of the character started to click into place for me.

For as much as Joshua likes to put on airs, his motivations aren’t rational in the slightest. When Joshua says that Shibuya has grown shallow and static, he’s really talking about himself, and is projecting all the things he hates about himself onto the surrounding environment. He singles out Neku not because this run-of-the-mill moody teen is objectively the worst person in Shibuya, but because he sees Neku as a younger, more naive version of himself, and in a classic example of the narcissistic element of self-hatred, being like him is the most irredeemable sin Joshua can conceive of.

Then, I started thinking about what he actually intended to accomplish with his whole plan, and specifically, the duel at the end. I don’t think Joshua had any intention of presiding over a remade Shibuya. I think he was banking on Neku killing him and taking his place, and all that stuff about hijacking Shibuya from the composer during week two was for the sole purpose of planting that idea in Neku’s head. In life, Joshua was friendless, miserable, and myopic. He had hoped that by entering the world of the reapers’ game, he might find a sense of fulfillment. But in the end, this mere change of scenery didn’t do anything to address his underlying malaise, and life felt just as empty as it did before. Thus, he sets his plan in motion, intending to pass on his awful torch to a fellow awful person.

What he didn’t count on was Neku growing as a person and gaining hope instead of losing it. Joshua wanted to end his own world, but the outcome of all his scheming was that it opened up instead. Instead of validating his grand act of self-destruction as planned, Neku refutes Joshua's worldview in a way he can't ignore or dismiss.

When I first saw the secret ending, my reaction was something along the lines of: “Aww, I guess he’s not totally heartless after all.” But looking back on it, I can’t really see it as anything other than tragic. Joshua can’t lie to himself anymore, can’t continue to protect himself with a shield of apathy and cynicism, but because of the permanence of his past choices, he can’t actually free himself from this isolated and claustrophobic world he’s created either, and that prison is made all the more painful now that he realizes how much he’s missing out on. All he can do in the secret ending is watch forlornly as that younger version of himself grows up, makes connections, and moves on, while he’s still stuck at a dead-end.

(There’s a moment during the credits of KH:3D in which Joshua is perched above the rest of the cast on a giant letter, parodying his fondness for sitting on buildings. The others soon take notice of him, and hassle him into coming down and joining them. When I noticed it, it warmed my heart a bit, and made me hopeful about the trajectory of his character, regardless of whether or not a sequel would actually materialize.)

But all that being said, what I just wrote isn’t what the fine folk in the TWEWY fandom mean when they refer to Joshua discourse. As far as I can tell, the true discursive quandary is thus: “Is Joshua, in fact, Komaeda?” Well I have bad news for you guys because, in my humble opinion, he kind of is?

Now, I realize that knowing enough to write several paragraphs about such a cursed character can be seen as me telling on myself, but in my defense, your honor, I didn’t get into danganronpa until a few years after its popularity peaked. Whatever discourse wars were waged over Komaeda and his zipper-shoes back in 2013, I was not a part of them. With that out of the way...

You know those posts that get passed around here every so often about how the concept of gifted children sucks? How it puts too much pressure on them? How it encourages them to see themselves as instrumentally rather than inherently valuable? How it leaves them anxious, depressed, and bereft of ways to cope? Well, that’s the underlying allegory of SDR2, and underneath all the wacky shenanigans that comprise your average danganronpa title, that’s what the cast is contending with. This is true of it’s protagonist, and especially true of his rival.

in much the same way that Joshua is the worst parts of Neku exaggerated and taken to their logical conclusion, Komaeda plays precisely that role for Hinata. Both characters serve as a cautionary tale for the respective toxic mindsets that these games are denouncing.

Now that I think about it, Komaeda almost seems like an evolution of the concept, because he intuits from a fairly early point in the story that the protagonist’s very essence is a refutation of his worldview. He insists on viewing Hinata as being far above him, but in actuality he realizes Hinata is in a similar situation--see his comment in one of the FTEs that Hinata feels like a miserable outsider like himself. And if someone even a little bit like him is capable of experiencing happiness and connecting with others, what then? The gap between how Komaeda wants to feel and how he actually feels is a subtle but reoccurring thread throughout the story. This, I think, is why he seems to regard Hinata with both attraction and revulsion, treating him as simultaneously an avatar of his repressed will (hence why he attempts to bolster him in the class trials,) and an object of scorn (hence the smattering of passive aggressive jabs before chapter four, and the outright antagonism from that point forward.) While Joshua fools himself until the the end of the game, Komaeda, master of doublethink that he is, seems at times self-aware of the fact that he is a foil in the literary sense, and that awareness partly informs his neurosis. His take on the character type feels a little more post-modern, I suppose?

Anyway, it wouldn’t surprise me if Joshua were an inspiration for Komaeda’s character and role in the story. But even then, I suspect that the question is less, “Is Joshua, in fact, the same sort of character as Komaeda?” and more “Is Joshua, in fact, going to become a contemptible meme like Komeada?” To which I say, probably not. *knock on wood*

For one thing, while TWEWY will certainly experience an uptick in popularity once the anime starts airing, that doesn’t necessarily mean it will capture the nerd zeitgeist enough to turn one of its characters into a meme that transcends the story from whence it came. Furthermore, there’s more to being a tumblr sexy meme man than merely belonging to an archetype. Komaeda’s spiritual successor in DRV3 is kind of popular, but isn’t an inter-fandom joke in the same way he is, and neither are Kaworu from Eva or Ryo from Devilman, for that matter, and those are the grandfathers of the archetype in question. In addition, the other infamous tumblr sexymen that come to mind, Sans and Onceler, aren’t a part of the white-haired-anime-rival-boy archetype, and Sans isn’t even a conventionally attractive twink. I posit that the alchemy determining which characters and media tumblr loses its shit over is more varied and complicated than it appears at first glance. (Not that I actually want to devote much brainpower to that particular field of study, lol.)

Uhhhhh... in conclusion, thank you for reading my words and also the DR3 anime is trash.

#the world ends with you #twewy

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daenerysion · 3 years

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Pokémon Thoughts

Okay so honestly, I’m a bit disappointed with the Diamond/Pearl remakes because of the graphics. Don’t get me wrong, I’m very happy we’re getting them and I’ll still play, and there’s a lot of sentimental value because I started with the original Pearl (even though I never finished lol, I got past the gyms and just never fought the Elite Four apparently).

But because of the sentimental value that Gen 4 has, I wasn’t pleased with seeing the graphics of the remakes because I was really hoping for Sword/Shield/Gen 8 style. I think the open world feel really made those games (along with the very lovable characters) despite the lackluster plot. I think it’s great that other people feel that the 3D chibi style that’s being used feels nostalgic to them, but it’s a letdown to me because I wanted to see Sinnoh in the way we saw Galar. The nostalgia for me comes with a remake that’s faithful to the plot and the Pokemon/physical features specific to Sinnoh, but the graphics would make it feel refreshing and more inviting like the Galar games, which I played multiple times despite the lacking plot. The customization was also a huge plus to me, though of course we don’t know yet how much customization we can do with the chibi style so for now I’ll just cross my fingers!

And then of course there’s the Pokémon Legends game, which I’m intrigued by but also I’m not expecting too much because it feels more like they’re catering (especially with the non-Sinnoh starters) rather than making them out of a genuine interest in Sinnohan history. It feels more like they just said the game is in Sinnoh because of how popular Sinnoh is, rather than because they’re trying to give us an insight to its rich history. I’ll play because I love the graphics but I’m skeptical on how it’ll turn out- I’m really hoping that they don’t use the fact that it’s not set in a modern Sinnoh to cop out of including specific geography and introducing us to the origins of specific towns and cities, because despite my favorite region being Hoenn I think Sinnoh is probably the most beautiful in terms of physical landscape and I want to experience that in the way we got to experience Galar.

But all in all, I’m looking forward to the content! I just wanted to share my thoughts and see if anyone else felt the same! Ultimately we all know I’ll still play! 😂 And these are kids’ games so it’s never that serious, but I think it makes sense for us who grew up with Pokémon and are still interested in it to have our feelings about it- kids will play regardless but we’ve been able to see the evolution of the games over the years. But like, not to a point where we’re screaming about it, that’s just too much.

#pokemon

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themoonstarwarrior · 3 years

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PLAYLIST SHUFFLE TAG!

Okay, so @viterbofangirl tagged me in this and I need to start learning to post my own shit, so what the hell, why not?

Rules: you can usually tell a lot about a person by the type of music they listen to! put your favorite playlist on shuffle and list the first 10 15 songs, then tag 10 people. no skipping!

(I couldn’t stop at 10 so I added 5 more, sue me)

I have very random music taste and I listen to my music on shuffle alot, so I made a playlist of the ones I like the most (that way I don’t hafta skip 150 songs to get to the one I feel like) so I’m gonna use that one.

1) History of Violence - Theory of a Deadman

Hoo boy starting off light huh?.... Yeah so, I was in the drive thru at Sonic when I first heard this on the radio and was immediately like “holy shit”. Instead of like metaphors and poetic subtlety, it’s just straight up like “here’s a poor abused woman who resorted to murdering her shitty boyfriend/husband cuz she couldn’t take it dum dum dum”. Even though the actual situation is not the same, this song is perfect for getting across the internal issues and turmoil of my character Mikey. Its so perfect I’m even planning to animate something for it...... if I ever get around to learning animation that is.....

2) The Vengeful One - Disturbed

Two songs in and I look kinda emo.... But hey this song is soooooo cathartic! I love me a good heavy rock song, and the drums and electric guitar are perfect for my ears to absorb. This song gives off a feeling of overwhelming power mixed with a coldness and disdain for the bad in the world. Obviously, thats not my usual temperment, but its an interesting one to explore! Especially when I’m trying to get into the head of characters that exude that like my OCs Spark or Ryu. Plus its fun to sing in the car X)

3) Enter Sandman - Metallica

Okay this one is just a classic! Same thing with the drums and guitar they both slap SOOOOO GOOD. I don’t really associate this song with any of my characters or fandom favorites, but it DOES give me a super strong urge to learn the drums. EXXXXXXXXIT LIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT! OFF TO NEVER NEVERLAND!!

4) We Are Giants - Lindsey Stirling ft. Dia Frampton

I don’t really to listen to music by band or artist, but I LOVE Lindsey Stirling!!! She’s probably my favorite musician! This is such a good song, especially for someone like me. Its a positive song that talks about feeling alone in a crowd and unimportant to the world, but how you really do matter and shouldn’t be afraid to dream big and shoot for the stars. It really speaks to me and the vocalization is so good (especially for singing), not to mention the official music video is animated and AMAZING!

5) Cetus - Lensko NCS

I dunno if anyone knows this song, but damn its good. Its one of those Royalty-Free songs that people look up for their channels, which is how I found it in the first place, but I loved it immediately. Its a peppy 8-bit electronic bop that turns a little Irish jig at the end and honestly I think if I ever start an animation channel I’m totally gonna use it! (Also go support Lensko he make good beats!)

6) Sanctuary - Utada Hikaru

I did not grow up with Kingdom Hearts, and only played KH2 within the past year n’ a half. But good God, the moment that Cinematic Opening came on and this song started playing I swear I astral projected into a daze of feelings without names. I know that “Simple and Clean” is the quintessential Kingdom Heart song that gives everyone feelings, but IMHO Sanctuary blows it out of the water. As beautiful as the animation was, or how curious the occasional backwards lyrics are, or how weird it is having high-res Goofy and Donald in what is essentially an anime opening, I really can’t be distracted from this song when I play.

7) Chemical Plant Zone (Rock Remix) - Zerobadniks

Chemical Plant Song is like, one of the TOP Sonic songs by popular vote (and we know how awesome the Sonic series is musically so thats saying something!), but I could never quite vibe with the normal 8-bit version. I think I first heard this as someone’s ringtone and was immediately like “THATS PERFECT THATS EXACTLY HOW I NEED IT!”. The rock makes the song soooo much better and honestly gives the song the perfect vibe. Unfortunately, it took FOREVER to find cuz none of the Rock Covers of this song were the right one. In fact, tbh, I’m not even sure whether Zerobadniks is the correct artist..... that’s just who everybody was crediting when I found it.

(imma include the link i found since its a little hard to find: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fqJiZEM6aPI )

8) The Wolf - SIAMES

YOU WANNA TALK ABOUT ANIMATED MUSIC VIDEOS???? THIS IS A GOD-TIER ANIMATED MUSIC VIDEO. I found the video first, and seriously, if you haven’t seen it YOU NEED TO!!! The beat works perfectly with the images on screen and the story being portrayed is really intriguing, with the lyrics adding to atmosphere without necessarily describing the visuals shown. Even without the animation, the song itself is a banger. It bring to mind the feeling of intense motion forward, but unable to decide whether its movement TOWARD something or AWAY from something. I love listening to this on a nighttime drive.

9) Burn the House Down - AJR

If you ask me, the best way to make a pop song better is to add either violins or trumpets. For this song, it was definitely the trumpets that first caught my attention, and the rest of the song kept me listening. I don’t really know how to describe the vibe of this song, and I don’t have a specific character or story in mind when I listen to it, so its a little hard for me to talk about it. I think the best way I can describe this song and what draws me to it is a feeling of nonchalant go-with-the-flow attitude to shenaniganry. Almost an undertone of “We’re hooligans in a situation that we probably should get out of, but hey we’ve got life and each other so why worry?” At least that’s the closest I can get to a verbal description heh...

10) Slim Pickens Does the Right Thing and Rides the Bomb to Hell - The Offspring

DANCE, FUCKER, DANCE, LET THE MOTHERFUCKER BURN!!!

So this also has a KICKASS animated music video, but its technically combined with the song “Dividing by Zero”. Now the video works SO well with both, and the shifting artstyles reflect the differing tones of the songs PERFECTLY. However, I have a preference for both the animation and the song on the Slim Pickens half. Its fun to listen to and sing at the top of your lungs and its SO CATHARTIC. Again I cant really describe what my head does when I hear it, but I think you can probably feel a similar vibe if you watch the music video.

11) No Heaven - DJ Champion

The first time I finished the original Borderlands, I had been playing for days on end, had just finished a long battle with the Destroyer, and sitting back relieved to have beaten it and reflecting on how much I had enjoyed the adventure. Then this song started playing. For what I believe was forty minutes this song looped on my TV while the credits rolled. By the time the credits finished I was pulling up the song to listen to again! What an absolutely PERFECT cherry to add to this experience. This song perfectly encapsulated the chaotic, trigger-happy, morally ambiguous craziness that I had enjoyed and absorbed in this game. Every time I hear it now, I imagine myself in the wastelands of Pandora, driving haphazardly across the sandy dunes as my companions and I shoot and blow up everything in sight. You know, living the dream.......

12) Hit & Run (Wolfgang Lohr Remix) - The Electric Swing Circus

I fucking LOVE electro-swing! The electronic beats and rhythm blend so well with the wild and energetic freedom of swing. A lot of electro-swing gives me a vibe of wild movement, reckless abandon, and freedom from constraint. I think this song melds all of these feelings the best! As the last song might have indicated, despite my general nice and sweet temperament, there is a part of me deep down that is an absolute gremlin secretly enamored with chaos, insanity, and a general disdain for law and authority X). But whereas anything Borderlands related has a more “morality is an illusion blowing shit up is real” air about it, this song is far more peppy. More of a “good-hearted but insane” type of chaos, like an 100mph car chase where you end up sailing over the train tracks JUST as the train passes.

.... I may have gotten a bit off track lol

13) Kickstart my Heart - Motley Crue

I love this song, but I have to be VERY careful when and where I listen to this. I love songs that make me feel like I’m going a million miles per hour, like I’m gotdam Sonic the Hedgehog. Unfortunately, I may or may not have had multiple instances of listening to this song in the car and abruptly realizing that I’m going like 15mph above the speed limit...... So yeah, regardless of absolutely perfect it feels to play this song while speeding down a nearly empty highway, please be careful and drive responsibly!!!

14) I’m Born to Run - American Authors

Imma just up and say it. This song is a Sonic song; like not like actually from the series but a song for the character. This song encapsulates Sonic as a character better than some of his ACTUAL THEMES (and remember Sonic music are bangers!). Its a song about freedom, living life as it comes, and not letting anything slow you down. Frankly I’m surprised they didn’t make this song FOR the Sonic series, or even the movie! Speaking of which, ironically I heard this song right after watching the Sonic movie in theaters, so yeah there’s no way I can associate it with anything else.

15) Opa Opa - Antique

Oh, what a PERFECT way to end this list! This may be one of my absolute favorite songs of all time! I don’t remember exactly how I found this song... I think I had just relistened to Dalar Mehndi’s “Tunak Tunak Tun” and was looking for other catchy non-english songs and BOY HOWDY I found one! I know nothing about the band or what the song’s about (its in greek and i dont speak it), but this song is just a masterpiece of retro, pop, and dance sounds. This song feels like the musical and lyrical manifestation of dance and movement. I really REALLY wish I could dance JUST so I can express how happy and free this song makes me feel! This is the BEST song for me to end this list with!

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JESUS, this got long..... Sorry about that XD. It was fun though, and hopefully somebody was vaguely interested in my ramblings.

Guess I need to tag people now? How about @tharkflark1, @rockmilkshake, @neonbuck, @drawingsdrawingseverywhere, @birthgiverofbirds, @puccafangirl, @kalcat, @biblestudybussybopsbabey, @monstrous-milktea, and @memecage! I think there are a couple of people here I haven’t talked to though soooooo..... hi, I hope you don’t mind the tag X)

Anyway hope you enjoyed and/or want to do this too! This took for-fucking-EVER to type, so imma go fuck off and watch youtube or something now...

#music and remixes #viterbo i was gonna add you to the bottom list and then i was like SHIT SHE TAGGED ME XD so oh well #i may or may not have cheated just a bit but shut up these are the songs i had something to say about #moonstar wont shut up

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danni-dollarsign · 3 years

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A Critical Look at “Pokemon: Sword and Shield” From a Casual’s Perspective...

A/N: Hey! if you’re reading this, then thank you! I don’t know why, but I thought to myself, “Hey, wouldn’t it be cool to write a pointless essay about a Pokemon game?” And then I realized today was the 1YR anniversary of SWSH, so I figured I might as well just do it! So even though I’m late and probably nobody will really care to read all this nonsense, I wrote it! If you’re interested in all the analyses of PKMN SWSH, but aren’t too invested in the technical mumbo-jumbo used by the more hardcore fans, then maybe you’ll enjoy this.

Also, it’s worth mentioning that I’m literally just some rando on the internet saying my opinion. None of this should really be taken SUPER seriously - it’s mainly designed to provoke thought rather than try to argue any specific idea. So if I say something that you don’t agree with, you got two options: 1) Draft a constructive comment or DM to me and we can discuss calmly like adults, 2) shake your idea and ignore this. There’s really no need to get heated up over a video game essay, of all things, so let’s not do that lol.

But other than that, yeah! If you’re interested in more stuff like this from me (in-depth analyses of Pokemon games from the perspective of a low-key casual), lemme know! I’d love to chat with anyone about this awesome series.

So, without any further ado, let’s get into the essay (warning: it’s like ~8k words).

Introduction...

Welcome to the wonderful world of Pokemon! Love it or hate it, Pokemon has had a huge impact on popular culture in countless countries in a number of different ways, sparking memes, dreams, and happiness everywhere! It holds a very special place in my heart - Pokemon was a game that I got to share with my two older siblings, was one of the first fandoms I got into, and was a big reason as to why I grew to love creative writing so much after writing a couple fanfictions for the games. I’ve been playing Pokemon ever since my brother gave me a copy of Pokemon: Ruby and have been a devoted fan ever since. While I may not be super into the strategy and damn near mathematical aspects of gameplay, I’d like to consider myself a relatively knowledgeable fan with enough extra knowledge to give a look at one of these games from a casual, yet analytical view. So what game other than the newest title, Pokemon: Sword and Shield, with its release anniversary being today? In this casual online essay, I hope to describe all my thoughts of Sword and Shield (which I’ll shorten down to just “SWSH”) from the perspective of the everyday Pokemon fan.

General Gameplay...

Many top-title games of Nintendo are best known for their simplicity: in Super Mario Bros, you’re a mustachioed red guy jumping on monsters to try and save some random princess (who may or may not be in this castle); in The Legend of Zelda, you’re a green elf-looking guy slashing wildly at monsters with a sword given to you by some old guy in hopes of defeating some ultimate bad guy; and in Pokemon, you’re a child wandering around the region catching monsters who also accidentally saves the world before becoming the very best (like no-one ever was). And while the games themselves have grown from that initial stylistic simplicity, some have lost that creative in-depthness in favor of being playable for children. This is probably the biggest issue with the newer Pokemon games as of late.

Regardless, let’s look into the playability of SWSH.

It’s played like your regular Pokemon game; you’re a kid who journeys to become the Champion of Pokemon Battling with your friend, catching monsters known as “Pokemon” with pocket-sized balls dubbed “Pokeballs.” But I’m sure you’re all aware of that information, and are instead asking “Well, what’s the deeper plot?” Yeah, no, that’s it. You’re a kid catching Pokemon to become champion - oh, and you also accidentally save the world from a power-hungry businessman - but that’s neither here nor there.

Plot aside, the game is a bit barebones. It’s pretty linear gameplay (literally linear - the map of the Galar region is almost exactly a straight-line waltz from Postwick to Wyndon, which is a bit weird after dealing with the giant, sprawling maps of earlier generations) where you travel from place to place, beating gyms and catching ‘mons, before getting into a couple scuffles and becoming champion. For an RPG-styled game, it comes off as much too simplistic for older fans (I’d even reason that it’s too simplistic for younger players, as well). While I will say, I don’t exactly miss the days of hopelessly wandering around a pixel city, trying desperately to figure out how to move on to the next town because the answer to the puzzle is hidden in this giant area that my little peanut-brain couldn’t figure out at the time. But it is a bit demeaning to get “Hey, do you know where to go?” and “Hey, follow me so you don’t get lost!” and “Oh, yeah, want another tutorial on how to easily catch Pokemon for the fourth time in a row?” every two seconds in a city where there’s only two places to check out.

But we can’t really discuss the gameplay of Pokemon without discussing the highlights of the region. Ever since the transition from 2D to 3D, Pokemon games have begun a trend of gimmicks - which I like to call “battle enhancers” - that they use to add uniqueness to their games. X&Y had Mega Evolution, Sun and Moon (and USUM) had Z-Moves, and now we have Dynamax! As we all know, battle enhancers are the strategy by which the player uses some extraterrestrial/magic stone to physically enhance one pokemon at a time for a certain period of time - in the case of Dynamax, the pokemon either grows in size or changes in form, gaining the ability to use special type-based attacks for a duration of three turns.

Honestly, I think it’s a pretty fun mechanic! Dynamax combines the good components of both Z-Moves and Mega Evolution - new forms, awesome moves, and a ticking clock. It adds a bit more strategy to the battle enhancer, where the player actually has to plan out who and when to Dynamax (though it’s really not that hard - most everyone will save it for their ace or the pokemon with the type advantage at the very end of the battle, because that’s what you do). But it’s fun and creative, making the battle a bit more exciting when you see your beloved ace become gargantuan on a field while the audience chants in excitement. Initially, I was skeptical of the battle enhancer, but once I threw myself into the game and really got into it, I felt it was fun and cool for the region. My feelings were further improved when I learned that Dynamax was inspired by the idea that the Nintendo Switch had the potential to be played on the TV as well as in a hand-held mode. The idea of turning pokemon “big” on a “big-screen” is really just so cute to me, really. Overall, it’s a fitting concept that is paired well to the game when everything is considered.

But when you look beyond the Dynamx experience to find more content in the game… there’s really not much else. Many people (including me) were ecstatic to hear about the free-roam areas in SWSH - the Wild Areas. Here, you can do all the fun grinding stuff that makes Pokemon games a bit more challenging and fun - hatching eggs, shiny-hunting, running around in circles, Dynamax dens, etc. But when looking at other Pokemon games, that’s really it. Let’s examine Pokemon: Sun and Moon, for example. This game really shines not just for its refreshing setting and compelling plot-line, but also for it’s amount of cute and quirky mini-games to be enjoyed for a good while outside of the main story. Pyukumuku Chucking, Mantine Surfing, the Alolan Photo Club, Ultra Warp Ride Travel - a good handful of mini-games that appeal to different kinds of people! All of these mini-games aren’t just tossed in there, either - they have a fitting place in the culture of the world and add to it, rather than just reiterating it. But when you look for mini-games in SWSH, you won’t really find anything aside from just battling. Sure, there’s the Battle Tower, as well, but I’ll personally say that I’ve never been a fan of the concept of post-game NPC battle buildings. For a hardcore player, they might be fun, but as a casual who can’t devote the time to really dig into understanding how IVs and competitive breeding works, they’re really no fun. Not to mention that nothing is really being added or developed with these battle buildings; they don’t add to lore, they don’t add to the culture of the region, you don’t even really gain anything from it - they’re pretty much just places to battle the occasional familiar face and that’s it. While I’m sure plenty of people adore these facilities in the games, I’ve never been too partial to them (I’d even prefer those god-forsaken casinos over another goddamn battle frontier).

But my biggest problem lies with the release of the DLC. While I’m not against the idea of DLC in general, both The Isle of Armour and The Crown Tundra left a bitter taste in my mouth when I started thinking about the issue of playability in SWSH.

I have always been more invested in the storyline of Pokemon games rather than the battling aspects. Usually I’ve always just gotten through the main story, then wandered around to find extra post-game content or mini-games, and then moved on to other games. And that’s not necessarily a bad thing - I just figure that the games have served their purpose for me upon completion, so rather than bore myself wandering around and doing things that don’t interest me, I go find another game that has more story-based content. That being said, I finished SWSH in less time than any other Pokemon game (I’d say somewhere around twenty hours, complete with me running around in circles like an idiot before rushing through content intermittently); as a result, I was no longer actively playing the game by the time the DLC was announced.

I’ll be honest and say that when I learned about all that was being offered in both sets of DLC, I felt a bit betrayed. I’m well-aware that Nintendo is a corporate business, and therefore will always prioritize financial gain over their fans’ lasting enjoyment of their titles - that’s just a fact of life. But I couldn’t help but feel like I paid a bunch of money for the bundled titles, only to play a game that hardly could be considered worthwhile or satisfying without added headcanons or fan-works, and then get told that extra content is available that may or may not add satisfaction to the experience that’s already long since ended for me. It was just a bit disappointing - and I’m not talking about the whole “Dexit” deal (I actually was on-board with the idea of having no real National Dex - I felt it added realism to the games and would force players to get to know the new Pokemon instead of just choosing the same team they always have since Gen 1 or whatever). My gripe is that I paid for a whole game, wasn’t satisfied with the result, only to hear later that the content that I might have been missing is available to pay for? That’s incredibly annoying. Not to mention that I was further disappointed after learning about the contents of the DLC, but we’ll get into that later.

Overall, the playability of SWSH is very basic, but can be enjoyable if you suspend belief and just enjoy it for what it is. When it comes to storyline, it’s not much of a game, and doesn’t sport much post-game content besides battling.

Immersion and Ambience...

Many of my friends can attest that I tend to like silly, fantastical concepts because I personally love to throw myself into the universe being offered to me. Pokemon is really no different - the games have always sported a very immersive experience for me thanks to the combination of interesting regions and evocative music (especially the music).

I think that most every Pokemon fan has a specific region, city, and music theme that sparks a plethora of nostalgic emotions to the point of near tears. For me, that’s always been Pokemon: Platinum, the Twinleaf Town theme - just staring into the rippling reflection of the pond by the player’s home, listening to that beautiful synth clarinet playing that nostalgic melody - it makes my heart beat with so much fervent passion that I hardly have the words to describe it! And I think that sense of nostalgia - regardless of whether or not those memories are old or new - has always been a strong-suit for Pokemon games. They always have the ability to inspire such deep emotions in me and other alike in a variety of ways, further adding to the ability to immerse us into the game’s world. And whether your favorite area is as simple as Twinleaf Town in the Sinnoh region, or as agonizing as Rock Tunnel in Kanto, it’s the spirit of certain cities/towns/routes that further add to the immersion of the world in question. But how well does SWSH hold those values? Spoiler Alert: Not very well.

SWSH, in the end, is still a Pokemon game - so the setting is very vibrant and colorful and everything that can hold my attention for long periods of time. But the problem arises when one begins to progress through the game and continuously forgets what’s where and where’s what. A lot of the map is painfully basic (again, due to the literal linear nature of the Galar region) and the cities themselves kind of lack their own real originality. There was an attempt at unique cities that’s become iconic of the Pokemon franchise, but it doesn’t really stick. I think most people would agree with me that the only real memorable areas in the main game were Slumbering Weald, Ballonlea, and Spikemuth, and each of these areas have their own set of problems that also make them a bit difficult to fully enjoy. At their core, most all Galarian cities have the same basic set-up: basic green plants (if plants are in that area at all), the same brick roads that lead either to the gym or to a route leading in/out of city to another city, and a giant gym/key building in the center of it all. And that’s really about it. No real interesting buildings except for gyms and Rose Tower (and I guess technically the hotels), no extraneous locations that aren’t directly related to the plot or to gimmicks - it’s very bare-bones and really can take you out of the experience.

In a hard contrast, I’ll give the example of Generation 1’s region set up - every city has its own personality that also matches the feel of the region as a whole. Every city is based on colors, and each city is themed after that, respectively (i.e. Vermillion City, the city of sunsets themed around the color orange, is home to the Pokemon Fan Club and the kick-ass electric-type gym that initiates feelings of excitement; Lavender Town, the noble town themed around the color purple, is home to the Pokemon Tower and spooky spirits that inspire feelings of somberness and reticence). Obviously, this isn’t very realistic, but the trick isn’t to replicate reality - it is to inspire reality. The Kanto region is incredibly creative, and therefore is easy to immerse oneself into the world because it’s become a world we are actively interested in. We know that it could never truly be real or plausible, but that hardly matters when we are so enthralled with the colors and set-up and feeling of the towns. We don’t really get much of that in Galar. It probably isn’t such a great idea for your final city - being Wyndon - to feel blank and lifeless when compared to minor cities in the region. And even when we find cities that hold that uniqueness we desire like in Spikemuth or Ballonlea, there’s really no other reason to be there longer than just beating the gym. It’s sad, really. Spikemuth is such a interesting, creative-looking town home to such cool characters, and yet there literally is only one path to get in and out of the town - the town isn’t even given small houses to investigate like literally every other city in the region. It’s a waste of potential! The fact that I can’t investigate such a promising setting that inspires me really takes me out of the world, reminding me that this is just a video game in which you move from Point A to Point B. It’s no longer a fantasy world for me to explore, but instead a line at the DMV to get my Drivers’ License. The only real good thing about this is that fanfiction writers get so much free-reign when it comes to writing about the city - the only thing we really learn about the city is that it’s underfunded and gloomy and that’s literally it. I would have really liked to see more inspired cities around the region where things outside of the main plot can be done, but hopefully this is just a problem we’ll see in this region.

Probably the most important aspect of immersion (in my opinion) is the music. With the potential to make or break a game for me, I hold a lot of expectations on the music found in video games (I’ve been classically trained in music since elementary school, and have always had a fondness for video game music). Pokemon music has always been some of the most inspiring pieces of art in my life - whether it be the kickass battle suite of Champion Cynthia, or the somber piano melody of Emma’s Theme, the music of Pokemon has always been the first thing I notice and analyze whenever playing the latest title. That all being said, I have quite a few notes to make in regards to the soundtrack of SWSH.

I’ll start with the pros, first. Generally, every main title has had its own feel when it comes to the soundtrack - DPP was jazzy and smooth, Sun and Moon was based on popular Hawaiian music meshed together with classic Pokemon synths, RSE was all about the horn section (trombones and french horns all the way!). SWSH, at the end of the day, isn’t much different. The region is inspired by the UK, so it’s no surprise to discover that the soundtrack was inspired by popular British Rock. As a result, a lot of themes went really hard, keeping a hint of individuality even when some battle themes hosted similar instruments. The biggest appeal of the soundtrack, I believe, was found in the little moments, namely the cheers of the gym battle themes. I think it’s safe to say that most people get super hyped when they hear those rhythmical chants coming to life whenever in the final leg of the battle, right when you begin to Dynamax. That’s amazingly exciting, never failing to suck me into that exact moment to gather the power of God and anime to defeat my opponent. While I wasn’t totally rocking out to every single song that came on, I was pretty satisfied with the music of SWSH, overall. It’s not too bad, and hosts a few bops that I still seek out to get my blood pumping.

But, as to be expected, there are plenty of cons when it comes to the soundtrack of SWSH. I could go over this for hours and hours, detailing complex definitions of music theory and basic song comprehension, but I’ll just make this nice and simple: it was really bland.

Note that I said “bland” and not “bad” - the music is fine in my opinion, I just wasn’t feeling the same feelings as I had in previous Pokemon titles. It all felt like Pokemon music, but not much else. It was like remembering hints of a memory long-lost, but you don’t really care about to dig deep into your mind for context. Towns had music, routes had music, pokemon and characters had battle themes, yada yada yada, nothing really to write home about. If I had to pick a song that honestly, truly invoked emotions beyond “Oh it’s battle time, now”, it would have to be the Battle Tower Theme, and that’s most likely because it was written by someone else entirely (Toby Fox, also known as the creator of Undertale and composer of super hard-hitting jams). And the worst part is that I never would have even been able to hear the Battle Tower theme because I hate battle buildings (which is more of a personal problem, I know, but still). Honestly, I would have preferred hearing that theme as compared to Champion Leon’s battle theme - I feel like his champion theme was very bland and lifeless, simply holding all the required elements of a Pokemon battle theme just because that’s what has to happen. It’s uninspired, faceless, and corporate, only to be completely foiled by the unique blast of energy found in the Battle Theme, which just screams “Prove that you’re the best!” over and over to me (also known as a big theme in the Pokemon games, especially in SWSH).

That’s not to say that every other theme in the game was terrible. I much enjoyed Marnie and Piers’ battle themes, but for a different reason. As we know, Piers and Marnie host a more “punk rock” style when compared to literally everyone else in-game, a trademark of Spikemuth citizens. With their occasionally cold and prickly (no pun intended) personalities, their themes go a bit harder into rock-land as compared to characters like Hop or Bede. There’s no conflict of style there - it’s “punk” with “rock”, loads of guitars and bass with a hint of synths to keep that Pokemon flare, and fits a bit better in the setting of the world. Mild conflict arises when we start looking at characters who aren’t rockstars or idols - let’s look at Bede’s theme, for example. While it really isn’t a bad theme (it’s actually, dare I say, a bop), I wouldn’t exactly say that the resulting pieces fit neatly together like they do for the Spikemuth duo. Bede’s theme requires a lot of synths to accentuate his more flamboyant and immature personality, but also holds ties with the rock guitars while also trying so desperately hard to sound like a Pokemon song. Now, I don’t think “Pop Synth Rock” is anything bad, per se; I just feel like the added rock elements didn’t do much to add to the musical representation of our cliche jerk-face “rival”. It feels like the rock elements were an after-thought rather than a planned layer of musicality. I could really say the same thing about Hop’s theme, but then I would have to re-listen to Hop’s theme because I always forget what it sounds like even after listening to it a second before.

A big problem is that not many of these themes hold lastingly memorable motifs/melodies, which is a personal pet-peeve of mine in games where the music is highly esteemed. In pretty much every battle theme (except the generic pokemon encounter theme, which is the same melody in every Pokemon game, only with variations added to fit the music theme of the region) is just an on-going strip of notes that sound nice when playing the game, but if you tried to pick out the specific melody-line of that character, it’s a bit of work to really find anything. Let’s look at a more concrete example: Lusamine’s battle theme from Pokemon: Sun and Moon is up on my list of most memorable battle themes, and will do well without the extra influence of young me’s nostalgia seeping in like it would with earlier generations’ battle themes. Lusamine, as we know, was the elite antagonist of the game, being the leader of this esteemed Pokemon protection group who later is revealed to be using Pokemon for her own demented goals of perfection. Almost immediately, the player hears the signature accents of the harpsichord playing the prime motif before the piece digs into a full orchestration. It doesn’t sacrifice anything for the sake of “sounding like a Pokemon song”, nor does it sacrifice anything for the sake of keeping with the musical inspiration. Instead, it focuses on being exactly what it needs to be - a musical representation of Lusamine, hosting orchestra-based instruments (piano, violas and cellos, horns, violins, light pad synths, etc…). Most anyone can pick out a handful of memorable motifs from her theme (the main horns melody line, the harpsichord melody line, the mid-section cello and piano melody line, etc…), and those remain in our unconscious. So, it’s no surprise that when she becomes the “Mother Beast” later on, when the player hears hints of those signature melody lines becoming distorted in the madness of the new battle theme, it invokes a particular emotion that fits elegantly with the subject matter of the plot right then. In short, it’s musical storytelling done right. In SWSH, we don’t have that extra omph of emotionally-nostalgic motifs; instead, we just get songs that play in the background of this video game, and that’s really it. If you don’t like the song, good news - you’ll probably only hear it once or twice, depending on who the NPC is. If you do, then you’re out of luck for the very same reasons. This game lacks a very basic hint of soul to its soundtrack, which is really such a jarring idea especially when you realize that they paired up with a composer who arguably has mastered the idea of musical motifs (Fox).

This really isn’t just SWSH’s problem, either. I also went through a similar heartbreak in S&M during the final stretch of the main game; after battling Lusamine and saving the region from the threat of Ultra Beasts (more or less, anyway), we the player go to challenge the champion, who is revealed to be Profession Kukui since there really is no true champion for the newly-made league. It’s hard to go from an exciting, powerful battle theme like Lusamine’s to some generic, cardboard-cut-out version of a champion battle theme for Kukui. It’s hard to invoke any sort of emotional appeal when there’s no real inspiration to be felt in the music; with no emotional connection, there is no emotion. It’s, once again, just music that plays in the background of a video game. A similar experience happens in SWSH with the player’s match against Champion Leon; though we have the potential to gain an emotional connection to a Leon Theme motif, we don’t get that. Instead, we just get music that is programmed to be exciting for our championship match that will undoubtedly change our lives forever. Bland, boring, anti-climatic - all for the sake of coloring in the lines. This has been an on-going problem in Pokemon games for years in which the Championship Battle Theme is less interesting than the Evil Team Battle Theme, which probably isn’t a good idea. It’s annoying when your villain has a better theme than the literal strongest trainer in the region - it ruins the chances of likability for the region’s “good guys” and overall is anti-climatic when it is finally time to become champion.

Overall, the ability to immerse someone like me in a game is very important when it comes to retaining players. While SWSH isn’t the worst Pokemon game when it comes to immersion (considering the fact that I actually beat the main game, which I can’t say for other main Pokemon titles…), Game Freak certainly could stand to learn from the game’s shortcomings.

Creature and Character Design...

The monster design is arguably one of the most controversial topics when it comes to any Pokemon game. Some people only care about the designs of Gen 1, others accept everything but Gen 5, and a select few could rant for hours on the stupidity of literally every Pokemon design in the franchise. Regardless, the design of the Pokemon native to the Galar region is an important topic of discussion when analysing the potential for enjoyment of the game. After all, I’m an artist who loves drawing all my favorite characters as well as my favorite Pokemon, so understanding the designs of these beloved figures is vital to understanding the game in general. For sanity’s sake, I’ll only be discussing new Pokemon introduced in this region, and will be ignoring all previous pokemon that aren’t regional variants.

Overall, the designs of the latest Pokemon are satisfactory. Because of my tendency to always suspend belief in fantasy works, I’ve very rarely had much to hate about Pokemon designs (not even in Gen 5, though I don’t particularly like any of them aside from the game cover legendaries). SWSH didn’t really bring much to the table when it comes to brand-new Pokemon, but the ones introduced are fitting and interesting: the Dragapult line, all three starters (even if I did laugh for literal hours at the discovery of Cinderace’s typing), Wooloo and Dubwool, Yamper and Boltund - just to name my top favorites. And I was totally invested in the designs of the game cover legendaries, Zamazenta and Zacian, since they held cultural relations with the region’s inspiration and therefore had actual meaning within the game besides just being cool mythical creatures. Nothing really outright bothered me with the designs or pokemon choices in this game; as I mentioned earlier, I was okay with the idea of no National Dex for this region, and that all the pokemon allowed in this game matched with the region well-enough.

But, of course, it’s not without faults. I found there to be a substantial lack of original legendaries in this game - we only have three real legendaries to catch in the main-game, four if you consider the DLC. We had a similar problem in Pokemon: Sun and Moon, but it was later amended with the introduction of Ultra Beasts (which can technically be regarded as legendary Pokemon, albeit from another dimension and not technically Pokemon). In SWSH, we are only given the option of catching more than two legendaries if we buy the DLC - this is remarkably disappointing for those who are interested in seeing new, unique Pokemon designs. I know many fans are constantly frustrated with Game Freak’s tendency to overuse Gen 1 Pokemon, but the fact that nobody is bothered by the running trend of being able to easily catch a bunch of previous games’ legendaries is beyond me. It’s essentially the same thing, overly relying on the fanbase’s sentimental nostalgia rather than moving forward to create new creature designs. I know for a fact that so many people would have been excited to catch Pokemon with cultural significance (maybe like elf Pokemon that resemble that of Seelie/Unseelie fairies, or more Pokemon that resemble chess pieces, or maybe more Pokemon that follow a theme of medieval artifacts - there are many possibilities), so the fact that they skimped out in favor of making people pay for nostalgia is ridiculous to me. This was a majority of the reason why I rejected buy any of the DLC content - why would I pay for Pokemon I’ve technically caught before? I mean, I guess it can be more for the kids who have never encountered the older legendaries, but then again, wouldn’t it be more beneficial for your game to have Pokemon that actually represent the new region? Instead of just stealing other games’ legendaries for the sake of saying that you have them, they could have just worked a little harder to design maybe three or six more cool legendary designs and centered those guys around the two DLC locations instead of just having Calyrex for The Crown Tundra. At the end of the day, it’s really just a cash-grab; the only reason I could ever see myself understandably buying the DLC for SWSH would be because I wanted to interact more with my favorite NPCs, but then again, I can just look at screenshots on Twitter and feel just as satisfied.

But not all is lost in terms of designs. Now let’s get into my favorite design portion of this segment and discuss the NPCs.

First, we’ll dig into the rivals. Personally, I really enjoyed the rivals of this game; while Pokemon is definitely running on a formula, I still was able to find enough about the three rival characters to genuinely enjoy their presence whenever they came on screen. I suppose we can expect to keep seeing this new Pokemon Trainer Rival Formula: Kind of Annoying but Too Sweet to Hate BFF Rival (Hop), 2 Edgy 5 U Rival (Bede), and Some Pedo’s Waifu Material Rival (Marnie).

Hop is arguably one of my favorite Pokemon rivals of all time (right up there with Gladion from S&M). He’s one of the only Pokemon characters to get a realistic character development over the course of the game’s playable story, which really humanizes him and makes up for his occasionally annoying personality. Over the course of the game, Hop goes from silently residing in his brother’s shadow to learning to stand on his own without needed any outside validation; much to my surprise, it’s not some half-hearted transition. Hop doubts himself during the challenge, as evidenced not just by his dialogue but in the way he actively changes his team to try and be more competitive like everybody else. I remember feeling so heartbroken in realization that Hop stopped using his beloved Wooloo, which is rightfully paired up with the excitable boy. The idea that Hop uses Wooloo, a normal-type cute Pokemon that generally wouldn’t be used in a competitive team, really adds more dimension to his character; when he learns to enjoy himself instead of letting his doubts overtake him, he returns to using Dubwool and his favorite team, demonstrating how he would prefer to have fun as himself than be someone he isn’t. I found that to be a really wholesome theme to his character, one that we haven’t really seen in a Pokemon game yet - it was a pleasant surprise! Hop is sweet and kind, always wanting to motivate the player even when he’s in his own internal turmoil. With all that added with his adorable babyface and goofy/awkward preteen disposition, he really makes for a likeable rival character.

The next rival to be introduced is none other than our classic Mean Boy rival, Bede. He’s a character the fanbase is a bit more accustomed to due to previous titles’ rivals (i.e. Green/Blue/Gary Oak from in R&G/B, Silver from SGC, technically also Gladion from S&M…), so are quite a few expectations placed on his character as a result. Also true to the typical Pokemon Jerk Rival, he has a complicated homelife (he comes from an orphanage, as we later learn) and has a similarly complicated parent-child relationship to the leading antagonist of the game (in this case, Chairman Rose). Bede constantly assumes himself to be better than he is and isn’t afraid to be a total prick about it, choosing to bully Hop upon winning battles against him to boost his own inflated ego (though there’s hints pointing to Bede actually having rather low self-esteem). All things considered, I liked Bede as a character about as much as one can like a mean rival archetype, but I was more than pleased to discover his transition to a more likably mean-spirited character when he later returns to the game to challenge the player after being disqualified from the challenge. While we’ve had a likeable mean rival before (namely Gladion), Bede is something of his own entity with how he actually has an attempt at character development that leads him to a mini-redemption near the end of the game. He’s really the first mean rival to have a transition from total jerk to slightly-peeved tsundere, which was probably a good idea on Game Freak’s part so that we wouldn’t be left with a character we downright hated after the way Bede quite literally destroys Hop’s confidence. It’s nowhere near as impressive as Hop’s character development (which isn’t super impressive to begin with, but let’s ignore that fact for a bit), but it’s still interesting to see in a monster-catching game about being the best you can be.

And then, of course, we get to the cute-girl rival, Marnie, also known as the place where I get a bit mad again. I’d like to say that I absolutely love Marnie; she has an adorable design and interesting personality that captures my attention whenever she has screen time. But she serves one purpose in this game, and one purpose alone - being the main cute girl rival of the game. Marnie has the potential to be a similarly interesting rival (cute design that meshes “punk” with “cute”, has a wholesome and fun dynamic with her gym leader older brother, uses a Pokemon that isn’t considered to be a “competitive” choice as her ace, has a cool/cute personality…), and yet we probably only talk to her about five times over the course of the main game. Little is done with her character - in fact, the only real thing she does in the game other than becoming the next dark-type gym leader is that she helps the player sneak into Spikemuth after the gates have been shut by the remarkably-harmless Team Yell. I don’t think I’m alone in saying that I would have loved to have seen more done with her character. With the boy rivals being more fleshed out than her, it leaves a sour taste in my mouth because the female rival is the one left with a blank personality (and I’m not just saying that because she hardly smiles - that’s really one of the only things we get about her that gives her an actual personality). My frustrations are further exacerbated because this has always been an issue in Pokemon games, in which the girl rivals are so barebones for seemingly the only purpose of serving as some neckbeard’s waifu that they can input a personality they desire despite the fact that she’s canonically a minor. Why put in the time to give dimension to Hop and Bede, but not Marnie? And we know for a fact that Game Freak has to recognize the lack of personality given to Marnie, especially since they had previously come out with Lillie’s wonderfully sweet character arch in S&M and USUM. Personally, I feel that it was because they didn’t feel like having a more punkish girl character who also had traditionally feminine-coded interests (she’s known to have been distracted during the gym challenge by the boutiques) and ultimately decided to just not give her any further personality other than that, perhaps fearing that it would dissuade the gross creeper fanbase from latching onto her. But that’s really just speculation, so don’t take any of my nonsense too seriously. Really, I’d just rather we had a girl rival with more personality to match the other two rivals so it wasn’t so annoyingly unbalanced.

Moving on from the rivals, we get into the designs of the League Staff of the game. In most other Pokemon games, I’d never really been too interested in the gym leaders; they had always been more of minor bosses, just faces that you saw for a couple of seconds before pummeling their ‘mons and moving to the next city. But in this game in particular, there was a sudden transition from simple puzzle master to a full-on celebrity figure. I really enjoyed this! It was so nice to actually have some information on the gym leaders other than what type they sported; suddenly, they have personalities and interests - they become real to the player. Not to mention that there really is a gym leader for everyone to enjoy, thanks to their unique personalities and styles.

I’ll be a bit honest and say that some of their clothing designs are remarkably stupid for even an anime-based RPG game (I mean, I know we joke about Leon’s terrible sense of fashion in the fanbase, but can we just pause and ponder what Piers’ wears? I mean, a leather jacket with spandex? Metal boots and a work-out tank??? What is he wearing?!), but it isn’t exactly distracting. In Western cultures in particular, we can see a trend towards the glamourization of the “athleisure” style, or athletic wear designed more for everyday use rather than just working out. It was kind of fitting to see this be the primary style for the gym leaders, who can basically be described as hierarchical sports stars. Weird? Sure. But in the context of the world, it all fits together, and once again adds to the immersion aspect of the game.

Looking at our main antagonists, they are designed quite well. Chairman Rose is designed to be quite easy and fun to hate (at least for me) - he’s an important-looking businessman who’s very impressed with himself, paired up with a beautiful yet terrifying subordinate woman who does most all the hardwork for him (...actually, they kind of remind me of an antagonistic Cl. Mustang and Lt. Hawkeye from Fullmetal Alchemist…). They also had noteworthy battle themes that popped a bit more than other battle themes in the game.

While they hardly count as antagonists, I’d like to also make a brief mention of Team Yell. They’re more annoying than anything, which is a trend that I’m not too sure how I feel about yet. It was definitely more likable coming from Team Skull, that’s for sure. I would have liked Team Yell doing a bit more damage, having them be a bit more unruly and controversial before evening them out with the whole emotional appeal of them cheering on for Marnie in hopes of saving their ruined town. But they weren’t too terrible in my opinion.

I could talk for hours on the champion of the region, too, Champion Leon. He’s a really fun and charming character overall, less of the supremely wise and powerful champion that we’ve seen in older gens and instead being a more quirky but worthwhile opponent on the path towards the crown. But I definitely preferred him more as a character than as a champion; even though his team changes depending on your starter, it’s not too challenging of a fight if you know what you’re doing, especially when you immediately know what his ace pokemon is (something we don’t really learn in other gens about the champions). While I’m sure the idea of a powerful but transparent champion can be done, Leon doesn’t really stand up as a powerful trainer when compared to other champions in the franchise. But he’s definitely still a fun, interesting character concept that I am grateful for in this particular game.

When it comes to the designs of the primary NPCs and Pokemon, SWSH continues to talk that line just above mediocrity. Not too bad, not all that great, but definitely not something to be forgotten. I’d reason that the primary strength of this generation lies within the characters that are introduced.

Uniqueness vs. Status as a Pokemon Game...

In regards to the uniqueness - how well this game stands on its own as an individual concept rather than just another Pokemon game - I’m a bit divided. On one hand, I’m a bit saddened by the watering down of content and constant reliance on concepts from older games. But I can also see that SWSH introduced a lot of interesting ideas that have inspired so many fans for this generation. And while yes, this gen didn’t have much to offer in terms of new Pokemon, new scenarios, or new lore, I do think that it does hold its own when compared to the other games in the main series. New characters are introduced to the player, all of which having good (and bad) traits that allow for lots of fan-created content with their essence; a new look into a brand-new battle enhancer that requires a different strategy than those of previous battle enhancers; a new culture found within the Galar region that can inspire many more thoughts and theories on the Pokemon world as a whole in a number of ways. We cannot pretend that SWSH isn’t an influential game just because it wasn’t ground-breaking; even with my extreme distaste for the Black and White games, I still admit that they led to important decisions and ideas that led to the creation of games I did enjoy. So, as its own entity, I think that Pokemon: Sword and Shield really has a lot of offer and would probably be an amazing game for a younger player who’s just getting into the Pokemon universe.

But I think that a lot of us long-time fans can agree that this game doesn’t quite match up with the others in terms of giving those real “Pokemon game” feelings. The problem with big-titles like this is that the company tends to lose sight of what really makes a franchise so influential isn’t the stuff found at face-value. It’s not the creatures or NPCs or game mechanics or design or any of that garbage - it’s the feelings we get when all of those things reach that perfect harmony. It’s the rumble in my chest whenever I listen to that famous intro-sequence of my old Pokemon: Ruby game; it’s the fire in my eyes when I went back to challenge Pokemon Trainer Red for the tenth time that night back in my old Pokemon: Heart Gold game; it’s the tears I cried when I watched the only interesting character, N, leave my playable character after his emotional spiel following the defeat of Ghetsis in my long-since abandoned copy of Pokemon: White. At the end of the day, Pokemon is more of an emotion I get rather than a game I play, and I think this is an idea that few people can recognize for themselves. And while I’m aware that I literally just spent several thousand words bagging and praising this game for all those face-value aspects, I also know that when you add that extra little bit of care to your work, go a little further with a character you know someone will adore, or try something new with that new battle theme, there comes a sensation that goes beyond that of love for a silly fantasy game. I’d like to think it’s something akin to inspiration.

Conclusion...

In conclusion, Pokemon: Sword and Shield is far from perfect. With a number of faults and disappointments, I can understand why a lot of fans were less than interested in giving this game the time of day. But I also want to say that this game deserves to be understood and appreciate for what it is, for what it’s done. Who knows what sort of new ideas this game has inspired? Whether it be in the name Pokemon game or someone else’s passion project, I am confident in the potential that this game has to bring someone’s dreams to fruition. It already has inspired so much amazing fan-content from the community; after so many years of being away from the fandom, SWSH was the game that drove me right back, giving me the drive to once again indulge in my middle-school days of sketching out my latest comfort character or writing out a million headcanons in a way-too plot-heavy story. Many fan-creators in this community feel the same as me, I’m sure, so it would be untrue of me to say that this game was anything less than what it was: a fun, simple game that prides itself in its characters and potential rather than complex combat mechanics or some corkboard-plot nightmare. It’s a game meant to be enjoyed, so we must remember to find our enjoyment wherever it can be found. For me, Pokemon can’t really do much wrong, but also is held up to a level of expectations that I can’t quite understand even for myself. This, at the end of the day, is a video game from my all-time favorite franchise; so long as I can find enjoyment there in it, then it’s worth it. In a world filled with nihilism and cynicism, it’s nice to visit a land where you’re wise to try and be the very best like no-one ever was, to be the next best Pokemon Master.

#pokemon #Pokemon Sword and shield #pokemon swsh #swsh #sword and shield #game review #game #analysis #review #post mortem #(does this count as post mortem???)#casual gamer #essay #video game #food for thought

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myhackerbuddy · 4 years

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ANOTHER STORY

RAY’S ROUTE

Ray/Saeran is one hell of a character. For me, he’s one of the most pitiful who deserve more love from us. He might be an antagonist in casual and deep story, but in Another Story he’s just a boy who is lost and manipulated.

You’ve been chosen as a tester for his game where you’ll chat RFA members and act as the party coordinator. Ray will introduced his self as the creator, and offers you to stay in his place as you play his game. He’s a nice and sweet guy who cooks for you and give you flowers as his token of appreciation for testing his game. Though we know that he’a slowly developing feelings for the MC. He will visit your chatroom from time to time, and also pay you a visit in your room. He’ll always remind you that they are AI, and has comments every time you say they are nice and all. He clearly despise all of them that it’s entertaining.

However, his feelings seems to be a threat as the Savior slowly notices Ray being out of focus. She would order her believers to bring twice his elixir intake just so she can twist his mind off. Ray notices but as devoted as he is to the Savior, he drinks it despite his complains.

As you finally enter his route, he will not let you undergo the Cleansing Ceremony because he cares for you. He knows how painful it is and he doesn’t want you to experience that excruciating pain. So he gave you a complete imitation of elixir, telling you to drink it instead of the ‘real elixir’, in case the Savior will give you one.

Ray, as much as how nice and dedicated he is on doing his duty to ‘fight’ his brother from hacking, the Savior still notices the sudden change of Ray’s behavior so she held a sudden ceremony where they would force them to take elixir until the person is finally in a ‘correct’ state of mind.

In Day 8, he appeared to be completely different. He visits you to tease you, and calls you a toy, an airhead and good-for-nothing. In able to wake his other persona, the Savior calls him weak, and attack his imperfections and dark past just so he’ll feel bad and insecure.

Saeran is made from hatred. In able to keep him awake, he trolls and insult the MC, because by doing that he’ll feel stronger. That way he won’t feel someone can ever torment him. He get his strength by being mean and by showering him that he’s strong. The Savior will always remind him that he is strong, completely different when it’s Ray. It all depends if you are going to let him toy you or you’ll remain quiet. However Saeran admitted it to his self and in front of MC that all his words were not meant for her, but to him. All of those were his mother’s words.

This realization was all thanks to V, who tried to talked to him when Saeran’s in hiding and so confuse. Though V failed to fully convinced him, he saw a glimpse of hope when he mentioned being free together with the MC. I want to commend V for this route as he work so hard to fix his faults, regardless of endless claiming that he should be the one to blame. Zen and V’s conversation is really intense. Zen made its way to V’s heart by sharing his own experience about accepting his flaws and by choosing what he want, even by crossing in the hard road. He made sense on how things weren’t always in our grasp. That even if we shower our love to someone, if they won’t accept it, then they will not be able to understand you.

V claims that he failed to give Rika the love she deserve, and insisted to being the fruit of the cause. However, Zen brushed it off, saying he shouldn’t be harsh on his self and stop blaming his self. For once, he should stand up right and do what a true leader should be, and that is to correct his faults and not carry all the burden.

I understand V’s point, that he wanted to protect Rika. He, too, realized that he can’t protect her and RFA at the same time without revealing the truth. So he told in the chatroom about Seven’s identity, with Yoosung on the ears. It’s a shocking news for him, but the truth made Yoosung feel sympathy to him. He didn’t know how much burden V has been carrying. He’s able to get a little trust by Yoosung, but V didn’t really disclosed who’s the one controlling and manipulating Saeran. I still think V wanted to hide it at this point maybe because he wants to hope he still can save her. But we know he can’t. Rika, will remain as she is if she won’t seek for others light. She needs to love herself to be free from darkness. A simple talk would not work. He needed Jumin’s power but he can’t talk to him because Jumin’s being interviewed like Zen.

The last call (outgoing) from Seven was at Day 10, after the chatroom at 1:00 am something. When you call him, he quickly responded saying he is not in his house and you should comeback later when he’s home. It’s obvious that he’s making it up to cover you, hinting that you should delete all your data concerning him because you might get in trouble. You’ll know that he’s been taken and that they wanted him to drop the call. Seven, in the end, saved you from being involved that makes it more frustrating. The other members can’t reach him, even V.

I’m guessing it’s his father, but it can also be their agency since Vanderwood’s also involved. Either way, they are still in danger.

Rika would sneak every chatroom you are in, and you’ll know Saeran is back but very sick. Savior said that he came back and drunk all the elixir, the reason why he’s unconscious. But the elixir is not effective anymore because he finally realize the truth.

I’m so concerned with the twins, but I had a bad feeling about what V could do. He can pull off his sacrifice thing again just so the MC and Saeran can escape. I’ve been getting hints from his text messages and calls, like he’s saying goodbye.

I hated the fact that Seven’s nowhere to be found, and V will soon be in trouble. I know the story is yet to finish, as Saeran’s After Ending is still in the process, but it’s so frustrating if you’ll be left just like that.

At this point Saeran was truly enlightened. I am so happy for this, though Rika is really pitiful. The truth is, she’s trying to create a world where no one can ever step on her. She collected Believers in exchange of having an excuse to make it seems like she’s guiding them in the right path. Rika is the one who’s afraid to go outside. She’s the one who’s dark, coward and is incapable to do anything without someone’s command. That is her inner demon who keeps on blinding her. The Believers and Saeran is her way to shield her to the outside world.

She’s basically becoming like her parents. Different method, but same outcome. She had it bad.

Turns out that V has decided to sacrifice again. He went to Rika and told her he’s ready to love her again, and that he now knows how to love her... This made me so frustrated again.

V is being selfless, but is that the right thing to do? I thought he came to his senses. And his call made me feel like it’s the MC’s fault lol. He said that he finally know what true love is because of you, but he’s commiting the same mistake again. If you will look at it, if V will do everything what Rika ask him, he’ll end up in vain. He’ll suffer. If that’s his way for correcting his faults, then I want to shout at him for being fool.

Can’t we all save them in one route? I truly hope Saeran’s After Ending will help us save V too. Seven is another thing, but V is their second father. I felt his sense of responsibility in this route. As a father who had faults, he tried to protect them, and did everything to save them. Though I hated his way.

I don’t think we should hate V for this, as we know his own issue (that is, if you played his route). Unlike the other, V tried to move straight, even with loads of burden to carry. He’s a man with principle, and that is to protect everyone. However, hiding the truth will only stop him from moving forward.

But let’s give him the credit of researching about the twin’s father, plus he’s been going back and fort in monitoring you in Mint Eye and making sure Seven and the others are okay. He’s not perfect, but he’s one hell of a character too.

Yes the road is still far from reaching the goal. RFA doesn’t have a slightest idea about Rika’s whereabouts, and is still busy tracking Seven and planning about the prime minister. And then they have to save V too.

Normal Ending

The video got blocked so Jumin proceeded to his Plan B. That is to bring Saeran and the MC to his vacation place. That way, he can secure their safety as the prime minister tried to fix the mess. The one who blocked is no other than Seven’s agency. This made me think that the agency is holding Seven and Vanderwood captive. They’ve been hinting that one wrong move and the agency will blow them out. Be it on failing a mission or getting into mess, Seven created a huge violation to the agency. He was accepted because he stated that he doesnt have any relatives left. And by the agency blocking the video that contains the truth, it’s obvious that they didn’t like it. This made me worry about Seven and Vanderwood.

It’s a bittersweet ending for me. Magenta is untraceable, V and Seven is missing. However, Saeran and the MC has been living peacefully and planning for their future, completely ignoring all the problems that they left behind.

Good Ending

It was a success. The prime minister got jailed and the twins were the talked of the town. However, Seven’s still missing. Probably the agency is the one who held them captive, and worst, they’ve been disposed before they know it, after they blew the truth.

Or maybe... Seven escaped and is in hiding from the agency. We’ll know in AE for sure. Also, we don’t know if Seven’s really leaving traces of him so they can find him fast, as Saeran stated when he found the place on the same day by hacking. It’s also because Saeran’s a naturally genius too like Seven. We can’t really tell who’s better in hacking, all I know is they are invincible if they work together.

The RFA didn’t gave up. They went to the old place were they lived and tried to investigate if there are traces of Seven there. Saeran felt suffocated that’s why he went out with MC to talked about his brother.

He may not said it, but I think Saeran already forgive him for leaving. He knew he’s been used and brainwashed. He also knew the reason why he left: V made Seven an informant to protect him.

The MC then gave him his bookmark for Seven, the one V brought and tried to give when they first met.

This made me wonder... Rika and V’s appearance made me wonder what they are planning next. First, they got rid of Magenta and went to the old house to dispose it too. They visited it before they left. Their destination? It remains a mystery.

We don’t really know what Rika is planning. She’s not yet done, that’s for sure. Remember how she wanted to get a hold of the RFA members? Even with V by his side. I can’t help not to connect it to the Secret Ending.

Even if she’ll blind and limp him, she won’t be contented. Unless V find a way to save her. But that’s only possible if he’ll realize his flaws: the obsession and they way he view what love is.

In the end he sacrifice again for the sake of the RFA members. It was a selfless move as a leader, but very selfish for the members to keep the secret and leave the issue in his hand.

The mystery will continue to Saeran’s After Ending. And I suggest to ready your heart as well as your hourglasses.

Farm as many hg as you can, because I feel like it’ll be a big one just like how they created V’s AE. Maybe the reason that it’s taking long to finish is because they are trying to polish it perfectly, so as we wait for it to finish let’s uncover some of the Bad Endings and Rika’s Story first.

#mysticmessenger #mysme #another story #saeran after ending #saeran choi #saeyoung choi #unknown saeran #cheritz #spoilers #vanderwood #v jihyun kim #mysme rfa #saeran #ray route

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starlight-matrix · 5 years

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Nabari no Ou 15th Anniversary!

@nabaridays wrote up some prompts to celebrate the 15th anniversary of NnO and as it’s my favorite manga series of all time, I had to join the fun!

Unfortunately, I wasn’t aware of the prompts’ existence until we were about four or five days in, so instead of starting in the middle of the prompt list, I wrote all mine up in a Google Doc and decided to do a big masterpost in the day of the anniversary. And here it is! Beware for a lot of reading, this shit’s at 4.1k words.

- Catherine Lynne / catielynnelove.tumblr.com Fan of NnO since 2012 -

DAY 01 (Jun. 3rd) - Favorites

My favorite character has always been Miharu, though I do struggle to choose between him and Yoite. I have always been fascinated by his apathetic nature, the way he uses is as a shield while loving the people in his life so incredibly fiercely. He appears neutral and uncaring, but the moment you look beneath the surface, you recognize that he would give his life for those he loves in a heartbeat - and has shown this on multiple occasions.

I also love his development over the series. His apathetic facade slowly falls out of use after he meets Yoite, and he learns that feeling your emotions is important, that letting the people you love know when you’re happy or sad or pissed the fuck off is important.

In the first few chapters we as readers honestly can’t tell a whole heck of a lot from what we’re shown of Miharu. He’s plain, uninteresting, even to us (unless you’re the kind of person who automatically reads between the lines, but let’s face it, not a lot of people are). But by the end of the series, he’s such a vibrant and expressive character that I marvel at Kamatani’s ability to drastically a character’s personality in a way that feels so gradual and natural.

Another reason Miharu is my favorite character is because I tend to see parts of myself in him, as many people do with the characters they like most. I can understand and relate to his apathy in the beginning of the story. His memory of his parents deaths is so deeply traumatic and that the very fibre of his being (objectively, Shinra) locked the memory, and most of his childhood, away for years to come. Because at that time in his life, the pain of it all would’ve broken him.

(E/N: I now remember that Asahi actually erased Miharu’s memories of that event, but I think a good chunk of this will still make sense, and I’m lazy, so I’m not gonna edit it out. Enjoy.)

Emotions, especially ones he didn’t understand - or couldn’t understand, like his feelings toward his childhood that didn’t quite make sense because of his augmented memories - were simply so overwhelming that Miharu pretty much just went “lol don’t wanna deal with those so yEET now they’re gone” and locked them up in a box to be dealt with at a much, much later date. That speaks to me, as a person who has struggled with depression, and the fact that he finds a way to recover from this is very reassuring.

Overall, Miharu is a very complex and realistic character that undergoes more vivid character development than I’ve seen in almost any western media. I love him very much.

DAY 02 (Jun. 4th) - What got you into Nabari no Ou?

This is actually quite a funny story, so buckle up for a wild ride y’all!

When I was 12 years old (God, this sounds like the setup for an angsty villain backstory), my family had a housemate who liked anime. One day I came to beg for him to let me use his video game console to play Little Big Planet and he happened to be watching the second half of the anime - I distinctly remember the second Alya Academy episode being the first one I ever saw. It was my first anime experience outside of a Studio Ghibli film, and to this day remains close to my heart, even though the anime adaptation itself really… just… well, it sucked.

After I finished watching it with him, I went and found the first half of the series on Netflix (back when Netflix did the whole send-a-DVD-to-your-house thing) and watched the whole thing from episode one. And then very quickly became obsessed. I probably watched the anime four times in two months. I had every single one of the English VAs names memorized. I was dedicated.

Eventually I looked up the manga online, and HOO BOI, this is the point where my Nabari no Ou origin story becomes ridiculously hilarious (and stupid).

When I read the manga, I was disturbed by the idea of Kouichi being a villain-type character, as he had been one of my favorites when I watched the anime. And, at the time I was first reading the manga, the apparent “ending” from my perspective was the scene where Kouichi takes the newly-made hijutsu scroll from a bleeding, dying Thobari.

Looking back, I figure the website I was reading it on just didn’t have all the chapters, or perhaps I had happened to start reading while the manga was on hiatus, but at that age I didn’t know of or understand either of those concepts and accepted that sad scene as the end of the manga.

And as such, I wrote the manga off as terrible and ignored it for years.

Flash forward to about 2014, two or three years after writing the manga off as a Fat Mistake, I finally decided to give it another shot. And BY GOD did I cry reading it a second time. Whether it was the two years of maturity, my experiences during those two years, or simply the fact that I read the whole thing that time - I was sobbing in my desk chair over NnO.

It was the most beautiful story I’d ever read. Even now, after five more years of reading beautiful manga, Nabari no Ou remains my absolute favorite, and likely always will.

DAY 03 - What are your favorite scenes?

I’ve always had a soft spot for the Alya Academy arc, even back when all I’d shunned the manga and all I had to go off of was the inaccurate anime adaptation, simply because of how well the character relationships are shown during those sequences (this is one thing the anime did really well in my opinion, actually - Shijima’s verbal reflection on how humans connect to each other and how important those connections are is stunning). Not to mention the displays of how the characters care for one another regardless of what side of the war they’re technically on.

I’ve always loved Subaru as a character, too. I find her motivations to be very realistic and really quite understandable, and I love the little easter eggs in later chapters that imply the Kouga ninja are helping Miharu’s side of the fight even though they’re not visibly involved. The scores from the Alya Academy arc are especially chilling and memorable as well.

Another of my favorites are the chapters following Miharu and Yoite’s escape from the Kairoshuu and their travels afterward. They feel mundane and peaceful, yet blanketed with this layer of grief, like we’re all aware that at any moment their calm could be destroyed and lost forever.

The scenes about Yoite’s gender were very special to me as a teen still learning about the LGBT spectrum and how different people could be, and the scene of Yoite bandaging Miharu’s aching feet? My heart literally swells every single time I think about it! It was so sweet and loving, my fragile fangirl heart does flips when I read over it.

DAY 04 (Jun. 6th) - Photos & Fashion

I like to think that Miharu keeps every photograph he’s taken and has them stored safely away in a box or chest or drawer. In my experience, people who have lost loved ones tend to treasure photographs, more than someone who hasn’t experienced loss might. A lot of times a photo is all someone has of someone they loved outside of a memory, and contrary to popular belief, if you don’t look at someone - physically or in a photo - for a long time, you do forget how they look.

Miharu has lost many people: his parents, Yoite, Kouichi and Shijima, even Shinra, in a way - so I imagine this observation would be doubly true of him. Especially if he has Yukimi as an example to go by - pretty sure that guy has kept every photograph he’s ever taken in his life!

(As far as fashion goes, I honestly think everyone’s fashion in NnO is horrendous, so...)

DAY 05 (Jun. 7th) - Favorite character design in the series?

Gosh, it’s hard to choose, I love so many of them! Gau is fascinating to me because I figure his hair must be difficult to draw, with all those little curls and cowlicks. Shijima’s too, with the way it frames her face and leaves just a tiny little opening for her eyes to peer out at you through.

But, as with most of these character-specific prompts, my answer will have to be Miharu. The idea that Asahi reshaped his face to look more like her own when she used Shinra to save him is very interesting, and the fact that Kamatani manages to draw Miharu in a way that both clearly shows their resemblance to one another and establishes Miharu as his own character with his own unique features and gestures and ways of carrying himself is incredible.

Miharu’s stance are also very telling to me as a reader: he often stands loosely, almost lazily, as if he really couldn’t care less about where he is and what they’re doing, which rings true for a good chunk of the story. It matches well with his (mostly) fake apathy and kind of makes him seem bland and boring as a character. But as the story progresses, he becomes more open, shows affection more easily. He’s quicker to stand up for his beliefs and the people he loves. All of this shows in the way he carries himself throughout later chapters.

DAY 06 (Jun. 8th) - Favorite location in the series?

The Shimizu estate, without a doubt.

The secluded area, the forest in every direction, the house itself - it’s all so beautiful to me. Ot gives me the feeling of rural Japan and more traditional Japanese living. Even after the house has burned away and all that’s left is a field full of Spider Lilies, there’s a kind of sober beauty lying over the place, made even more intense when Shirogamon stands watch over it.

DAY 07 (Jun. 9th) - Positive Influences

The thing that I preach about the most when I talk about NnO to others is the fact that the series has no absolutes. There is no true right or wrong, no clear villains nothing that actually puts our heroes above anyone else. Which, in a way, means that are really are no heroes in the story at all, which is a very rare and interesting way to tell a story.

The entire series deal with a greyscale in morality. There’s no bad vs. good or moral vs. immoral, just your own goals and people whose goals don’t match yours. Opinions and ambitions differ vastly even between people on the same side of the fight - Thobari and Raimei want to seal the Shinrabanshou, Kouichi wants to use it to defeat his immortality, Miharu even changes side on a few occasions - yet they all work together together to achieve their own very different ends.

Even those who can be coded as villain on the surface have something motivating them to do what they do, and more often than not, those motivations are understandable to the reader and actually have you sympathizing with the character. Hattori wanted to rid the world of the need for war. Subaru wanted to save the person she loved most in the world. Yamase wanted to win his family back (I think? It’s been a while).

Even Katarou and Kannuki, two characters who have practically nothing to redeem them, at least have motivations that are pretty damn realistic. Kannuki wanted to capitalize on Kouga’s Forbidden Art and use it to grow Alya Academy’s profit and power through the surface world. A Lot of people are like this in real life, and while you may not sympathize with him over it, it is a motivation that is true of our own world as well as the one in this story.

An Katarou, as far as I understand, is obsessed with Shinra herself, rather than the hijutsu and the power it holds. He manipulated hundreds of people and hundreds of situations to suit his own needs, then literally got himself killed - just to see her one last time. And… yeah, I don’t think anyone really sympathized with him, but hey, I can see what pushed him to do what he did.

To me, Katarou is symbolic of someone with an addiction - their mind is so clouded by a need for some specific thing that all other human aspects of that person just fall away, and they’ll do whatever it takes to get what they want.

I also appreciate how the characters handle their differences throughout the story. Their honesty with each other, the way they support each other even when they’re all heading in opposite direction. The Alya Academy arc (I really love this arc okay) especially shows this, in how the ninja from Banten and Kairoshuu - two very opposing factions - fight together against the Kouga without hesitation, despite the fact that in most other situations, they’d be fighting each other.

It’s a wonderful thing to promote: that even though people might have different opinions or goals, it doesn’t mean they have to hate each other.

DAY 08 (Jun. 10th) - Favorite Extra?

I am IN LOVE with the little between-chapter 4koma pieces, especially the ones from the Alya Academy arc (God, I’ve talked so much about this arc). Subaru fantasizing about Miharu being her little brother and making her birthday cake? Adorable. Miharu and Yoite getting stuck behind a bookshelf and terrifying an opponent by asking for help out? Hilarious.

I love that Kamatani put those in, both as a peek into happier aspects of the world he created, and as a way to add a bit of sun in between the much darker, much sadder chapters.

DAY 09 (Jun. 11th) - Headcanons

I’m not much of a headcanon person, to be honest, and especially not with this series. It feels off to me, to try and add to something that’s already so perfect. However, I do agree with a couple of headcanons I’ve seen - particularly the ones theorizing that Yukimi is aro-ace. It makes a lot of sense to me in how his character is portrayed when nearly every other character in the series has a romantic match, and as an ace person myself, more representation is always welcome.

DAY 10 (Jun. 12th) - Alternate Universe

I once started (and quickly abandoned out of shame) a very cringey, very out-of-character fanfic, in which the Nabari world didn’t exist and all the characters meet through natural means in the surface world. Other than that, however, I’ve not put much thought into Nabari no Ou AUs.

But something I would LOVE to see is a crossover between NnO and Shimanami Tasogare, as the two stores canonically take place in the same location - NnO being in Banten, a fictional town based on the real town of Onomichi, and Shimanami Tasogare being confirmed to take place in plain old Onomichi itself. It’s been a while since I’ve read Shimanami Tasogare, but I remember the leader/owner of the little house the cast gathers in as giving me a distinctly Nabari-world vibe, and I think it would be interesting to see the NnO characters react to a community like the one presented in Shimanami Tasogare.

(And also perhaps have some romantic relationships and sexualities proven canon. Perhaps.)

DAY 11 (Jun. 13th) - Favorite song from the OST?

It’s a firm tie between the opening theme and the second ending theme. I have every song in the OST memorized after years of hearing them day in and day out, but those two themes always give me this tingling nostalgic feeling, like rereading a book from your childhood or finding a toy as an adult that you’d thought was lost forever. The animation and symbolism in those themes are also very telling of the series and the character’s connections to each other (a bit obviously, at times), and the lyrics are special to me in a way I can’t describe. They’re precious to me, and to me experience of NnO as a whole, considering I started with the anime first (a bad idea).

DAY 12 (Jun. 14th) - Are there any songs that make you think of NnO?

“Neopolitan Dreams” by Lisa Mitchell ( X ) ( X )

I once watched a cute Raimei/Kouichi AMV set to this song listened to the lyrics, I understood how the author had put them together. I very much feel like the lyrics echo Raimei’s thoughts on how Kouichi starts to act in later chapters, becoming more and more distant until he almost appears to be an antagonist rather than one of the perceived heroes. The song also makes me think of Raimei’s stubbornness and pride, her unwillingness to accept option besides her own conclusions until she’s had the full story and nothing less.

I can never get their faces out of my head while listening to this song, which I guess means the song reminds me more of Raimei and Kouichi than NnO in general, but it still counts, right?

DAY 13 (Jun. 15th) - Food

I’ve never really thought too hard on it, but now that I am, it’s actually very interesting to note how different characters use food - the Rokujo Okonomiyaki shop, in particular - to their advantage.

Thobari uses his (implied, before the start of the overall plot) regular visits to try and get Miharu to believe him about the Shinrabanshou and the Nabari world. Thobari uses the close proximity to explain his motives to Miharu, who physically cannot leave the situation, lest the food burn to a damn crisp (and I figure Naoko wouldn’t be pleased if that happened every time Thobari came in). He also very clearly uses this to keep tabs on Miharu when outside of a school setting where Miharu has no choice to be in Thobari’s sight, and later, as a way to either catch up on what’s going on in the Nabari world or - as in several cases - simply demand answers from Miharu.

Raimei uses the shop as a way to get closer to Miharu. She charms her way into getting free food (and sometimes, free lodging as well) and I assume her thinking is probably something on the lines of “Free Food + Spend Time With Miharu = Information on Where Raikou Might Be.” Of course, this likely isn’t her motive in later chapters, because, well, character development.

Food is also an important bonding thing for Yoite and Yukimi. In a lot of the scenes where we see Yoite and Yukimi in their home, they’re eating together, and I always took it as a display of their familial relationship - cooking dinner for Yoite the way a dutiful older sibling would for their younger sibling - thoughI doubt either of them would admit they’re like brothers. The significance of lemonade should also be noted for this topic - I could go on for ages about it.

(But I won’t unless people ask me to, because this piece is long enough already!)

I don’t have much memory of this scene being as big a deal in the manga as it was in the anime - but I also haven’t seen either in a while, so I could be wrong - but the birthday cake scene from the latter half of the anime left an impact on me even back when I’d only seen the anime, and it was the first thing that came to mind when I saw the prompt was “food.” Gau’s pride in the cake he made and his determination to get any kind of praise out of Yoite is very touching, especially when you take into account that Yoite literally saved Gau’s life, and that Gau knows this, as well.

The Kairoshuu - particularly Yukimi, Raikou, Gau, and Kazuho - are all shown bonding on more than one occasion at Kazuho and her husband’s sushi shop, and there is significance to those occasions in the rather heavy conversations they have during those visits. And there’s also the time Miharu cooked okonomiyaki for all the main Kairoshuu member after he’d first joined their clan - similar to how a recently hired employee would bring cookies for their new boss.

Food has a lot of significance in Nabari no Ou, no matter where you look.

DAY 14 (Jun. 16th) - Favorite village, and thoughts on the Forbidden Arts?

As far as morals and motivations go, I would have to choose Banten, as their (or at least Thobari’s) main opinion is that the Shinrabanshou shouldn’t be used because it throws off the balance of the universe. I definitely understand this opinion, because a lot of things can go wrong if the wrong kind of person is making wishes to Shinra and having them granted.

Although, I think that if anyone were to use the ability in a way that leaves the balance of the world intact, it would be Miharu, and this is even shown in the series itself. He doesn’t have the kind of greed or anger that would taint a person’s motivations when making their wishes, he just wants to do what is best for others- especially Yoite. Yoite is important to him, and therefore Yoite’s wish is also important to Miharu. And, as we see in later chapters, Miharu puts granting Yoite’s wish above even his own happiness. I feel I would make a similar decision were I in his shoes.

(For aesthetic, though, I’d choose Fuuma. Their village is hidden and surrounded by forest and in that lovely traditional Japanese style, and their uniforms are great. If Saraba were Chief I’d join.)

DAY 15 (Jun. 17th) - Favorite minor/supporting character

Gau! Definitely Gau! Gosh I love him so much. He’s optimistic and tries his best to look for the best in situations and in people, and his smile is so freaking sunshiney, I bet he lights up rooms with it. He’s awkward and quirky and I can relate so hard. But he’s also strong? He stands up to other ninja even though he really doesn’t have the physical ability to defend himself or others. He puts his life in danger to tell Raimei the truth about her family immediately after swearing silence to Raikou, his boss, who could 100% kill him if he found out Gau had broken his promise. And I bet you Gau would’ve told Raikou about him telling Raimei as soon as he’d gone home, if the bullshit at the Shimizu property hadn’t gone down the way it did.

And speaking of that scene- he throws himself in front of Raikou’s katana to save the life of a girl he hadn’t known for more than a day, who had threatened to kill him, who was seeking to kill the person he treasured most in the world. Who does that?! Gau apparently. He literally gives his life for just the possibility that Raikou and Raimei can make up and be happy siblings again. He gives his life so that the person he loves can maybe reconcile with someone else they loved.

He makes a conscious effort to include Yoite in conversations in which he would otherwise be largely ignored, and while I doubt Yoite would care either way, it’s the thought that counts, right? And, at least in the anime (it’s been a while since I read the manga) he puts his life on the line to help Yoite and Miharu even though, as I said before, he can’t really defend himself all that well.

Basically, I’m in love with Gau and want him to be happy. Sweet baby!

DAY 16 (Jun. 18th) - Free Day

I don’t really have anything else to say but I’m posting all of these today (I was late for the original posting by like four days so I figured I’d write them all out and post them together) so I’ll count this as my day 16 entry! Thank you so much if you’ve read this far, I know it was probably daunting to look at this long as fucking post but I’m glad you took the time to read my personal reflection on NnO! This manga means a lot to me and it’s nice to discover other people who love it as much as I do (I’ve literally met two people in my entire life who’ve read it without me suggesting it).

Keep the love going y’all, I hope to see you again! And feel free to hit me up if you’d like to talk about NnO, I’d love to connect with other fans! Seeya owo

#nabari no ou #nno anniversary prompts

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atopearth · 5 years

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Shall we Date? Wizardess Heart Part 19 - Elias Goldstein Sequel

Elias sequel! Trying to do all the sequels available right now before starting the next season XD Nice to see that the heroine and Elias are as cute as always, so sweet when they showed how well they connect together by being able to use their magic together to do a spell. Elias’ father looks cool~ Wonder why the other brother isn’t here for Klaus’ graduation though? Oooh, starting to really see the stark difference in art now though, but I guess I’ll slowly get used to it? Lol, kinda awkward to see previous characters with the current characters since they look so different, like they’re talking to each other from different worlds haha.

But it’s really cool to see everyone cooperating to make this magical appliance(?) alongside Elias. It’s nice to see him want to achieve something his ancestors didn’t have the chance to because technology was lacking, so it’s great that since he’s got the money and the knowledge that he can try his best to continue this research to help non-magic users be able to fly. I thought they finished it so fast lol, not surprised that it exploded and needs improvements. Nice to see Luca helping them out and having more screentime! Sooo cute when they got permission to keep experimenting there and Elias lent the heroine his hand to sleep on since the carpet isn’t soft, he’s so sweet! Can’t blame them for chasing their near perfect prototype into the East Forest since it went berserk, but going to confront the intruder when you’re just students, that’s very dangerous! Not a smart move!

No wonder why Augustus and Scarlett look so familiar! They had romance side/event stories with Amelia! Too bad I missed out and didn’t read them, no wonder they’re so protective over her haha. Anyway they’re lucky that Vincent and the headmaster came to their aid against Drago and thus making him run away, otherwise they really could have died. Okay, they know Drago is dangerous and that Vincent and them are trying to take care of him and they still go after him when they’re just students and Vincent is an experienced knight… That’s totally a great idea… They did well to work together and get whatever that egg was from Drago but they really don’t know what they’re getting themselves into…So…this hatched golem can spread a virus that can destroy the world and it kinda smacked Drago and has gone berserk, that’s cool…

Danggg, it’s the classic wet clothes scenario where they must strip and share the only blanket so they won’t get sick, it’s pretty cute haha. So glad they’re all getting lectured for ignoring warnings to go after Drago and breaking curfew since they stayed out. Not surprised that the golem can regenerate and is still alive after the heroine and Elias supposedly defeated it. I guess the cute thing is that the virus it spreads makes people small and now Elias has a mini heroine to take care of/play with🤣 Omgg, so glad Amelia has casual clothes now! I remember in the past routes, she only had her pajamas and her school uniform so it was awkward sometimes when she’s out somewhere in her PJs/uniform lol. It was so sweet when Elias answered her that if she were to stay this size forever, then he’ll become mini size too and they’ll have a doll castle and live there together forever haha. It’s so nice to see how the heroine (the ball of positivity) has made Elias a much happier person~ Well, he changed her back faster than I thought though.

I’m so happy that Vincent showed them the weakness in their link magic that they’re so proud of and think can beat the golem, when really, it’s a technique that takes too long to do and is easy to dodge. They’re really so…sigh. Maybe I’m just picky, but I honestly fail to see how magic dancing is the way to solve their weakness of just standing there, like regardless, how do they dodge proper attacks when dancing, I just find it rather ridiculous tbh, and they literally only practised dancing for 5 seconds and 3 of those was spent with the heroine stepping on Elias, and now suddenly they can challenge Vincent and even beat him😶 Like, I know the game isn’t very realistic in the first place but this is unrealistic to a new level imo and it’s killing any more feelings I have towards this route. And honestly it’s so ridiculous that only Elias and the heroine are capable in this link magic to defeat this golem that’s going to destroy the world, like uhh seriously? Link magic doesn’t even seem like some ancient forgotten magic, how could no one be capable in it with a partner they can trust? Zzzz🙄

And uhh, why are Yukiya, Luca and Joel okay to come along if Elias and the heroine had to prove themselves with link magic?? I thought they don’t want to involve students in this? Like, I wanna feel sorry for Drago and that he and the headmaster are after all pupil and teacher, so it’s saddening, but it just played out in such a boring way, like they just put it like that to make it seem sad, but because we barely see Drago, barely know what kind of person he was before or even now, know nothing about his motivations etc, it’s hard to feel anything for him. I feel like I’ve seen the golem more than him. Lol, well, anyway, I’m glad the whole Goldstein family approves of Elias with his accomplishments and loll, they even had to hold a meeting to approve of the heroine too! And then Elias proposed to her with a ring!😄

Overall, I’m actually pretty disappointed in this sequel. Initially, it was going okay with the making of the board and Elias and the heroine bonding, showing how much they’ve grown to rely and trust on each other and then boom! This random plot with the golem and Drago was just so…uncreative and shallow, felt nothing for Drago or the golem (lol), and the way they defeated it when it’s supposedly something endangering the world was just so silly. It felt like such a weak way to show that Elias and the heroine’s bonds are so strong that it can save the world or something, and then it’s like yay let’s get married because we defeated something that we endangered our lives and broke the rules for when their recklessness could have killed everyone, it’s like imagine if Drago’s egg was super dangerous and they went in there trying to catch a criminal to boost their credentials when it could have very well ended the world. Anyway, I found it very immature, silly and not very interesting at all, I did not like the sequel, I honestly prefer Elias’ route even though he was a jerk to her most of the route, at least I felt more emotions towards their relationship than in this route😣😴

#wizardess heart

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demyrie · 5 years

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I'm curious but why did you delete JAM? It was one of my favorite JxD fics and I never got to finish reading it.

ahhhh oh dear, yeah, that happened.

So, for everyone arriving, I wrote a fic called Just Another Mission for the Jak and Daxter game series, and Jak/Daxter pairing. Yes, the green haired elf protag with the fuzzy orange thing, which btw used to be a human and was a human in fic. I think I started it when I was maybe 14 (yikes omg) and a few years ago, I deleted it, and I don’t delete fics.

Rant and personal history ahead, but tldr; i deleted this particular fic because:

1) I became more and more uncomfortable with the way I’d treated certain characters without giving them respect or resolution (throwing around things like domestic abuse while being too young to properly understand What I Was Doing or How to Answer Very Triggered Friends Who Had the Misfortune of Reading This I’m So Goddamn Sorry, as well as falling into that Not Like Other Girls slash fan ditch of treating female characters like shit/obstacles to the main pairing WHICH IS JUST ******) as well as personally uncomfortable portrayals of obsession and taking advantage of people that turn my stomach to this day (see reason 4)

2) i got way in over my head with my own writing/style which was so obtuse and self-indulgent that I felt a great amount of shame over it, including the attention it had gotten, and the way it went to my head and turned me into an egotistic little shit. I was an asshole peacock and I regret it. There was a break where I got waylaid before the final confrontation in the fic (see reason 4, also a very bad time to get held up in any narrative) and when I returned to the story, i nearly cried because it was such a mess and I didn’t know what I was saying anymore. Finishing it was a struggle and I even remember one JnD fan friend being like “hey this chapter seemed really curt??? short?? not like you” and I was like YEAH THATS NOT ME ANYMORE god i hope

3) there was a sort of ... anti-JxD surge in my little pool from people I really respected and it made me think i was doing something wrong even just remembering it, so I cut off that memory.

4) it coincided with two ugly relationships in my life that marred it, and I just wanted it gone for my own mental health.

So anon, I’m very sorry that you never got to finish it. I had good intentions in mind and gave them a happy ending where they realized they loved each other, even if the journey there was difficult.

It both touched me and broke a piece of my heart when someone came to me years ago and asked me why I had deleted it, saying the story had given them the courage to come out as gay to their family. In that moment, overwhelmed with how ProblematicTM the whole story was, I was really struck with just ... how subjective our world experience is, and how so many things can mean so many different things to every single soul and how terrifyingly VALID peoples experiences are, no matter how they come by them. We’re all so unique and convoluted, one man’s trash is another man’s treasure -- and one man’s trigger is another man’s key to Becoming. But no matter how inspiring, I couldn’t bring myself to repost it.

Hopefully this will be the only fic i ever delete with relish. Jak and Daxter will always be a good memory for me, regardless. Thanks for the ask, anon.

(even more) personal stuff below the cut. tw for stalking, harassment, manipulation and emotional abuse.

So.

Im a firm believer in stories living beyond their authors (something that JK rowling doesnt seem to understand iykwim). I don’t normally delete past works, because while I wrote them, I also know that they’ve outgrown me as most narratives do: people are absolutely allowed to enjoy what they want to or need to, not just because I think said thing is reflective of my current work or jives with my current stage of life.

However, JAM was a particular Thing that Had to Go.

The timeline is hella fuzzy to me because I’ve blocked a lot of it out, but I was coming out of middle school and struggling with my mental health. On the real life side, I was stuck in a situation with a close friend of mine who was very fixated on us being in a relationship and the pining was loud enough to hear from the other side of the country. Wounded people pleaser that I was, I flipped (exhaustingly) back and forth between “i dont like you like that” and “but I want you to be happy so what if I tried liking you like that?” and there was massive amounts of hidden hurt and resentment and tension and abandonment complex activation and just ... a strangling of anything that made our friendship good for either of us.

Also she was a she. So. Yannoe, gay is difficult.

This definitely burnt me out on the “best friends pining” trope and is probably legit the ONLY reason I’m not equally in the erasermic and erasermight camp haha. That trope feels claustrophobic and draining to me, so I leave it for others to enjoy.

It also coincided with a married 45yo adult man luring me into a “platonic, ecstatic, boundary-breaking, you-are-my-beautiful-young-muse, words cannot express how much I love you” creative type relationship that inevitably turned possessive, domineering and manipulative. Within the bounds of the Renaissance Faire community, I thought he was a safe person and he was not, and his constant reassurance that I wasn’t like other women my age was absolutely hypnotizing to a undeveloped soul who really, really wanted to be special.

We traded poetry and tarot card readings over email. He bought me manga and shared stories about his time overseas and in the service. He made me props to go with my renaissance faire character and showed me where to find cheap leather so I could piece things together myself.

He also stalked me and owned me for the better part of a year and I only realized it once he started harassing a dear friend of mine overseas, whom I was visiting, about a package that he’d sent, which apparently he’d covered in original poetry to let me know how much he loved me But Not In a Hetero or Sexual Way Bro, so of course he didn’t want it to get lost in the postal system. So what is he going to do? Note my friend twice a day asking if its arrived until she inevitably, tearfully spills that this guy is stressing her out and who is he anyway?

My horrible secret was out, which only sounded horrible when I explained it to someone else. I realized this man was trying to follow me wherever i went and I got so fucking angry that he was messing with my friend that I had to stop it.

(He called me a cunt when I broke it off with him on the phone in the dark on the floor of my bedroom in the middle of the night so my parents wouldn’t hear, then sobbed and said he was sorry. I was so dissociated from the rush of anger and helplessness that it took for me to actually MAKE the call that all I could do was wiggle my foot and watch it in the reflection of the mirror on the back of my door, and think maybe I was a cunt but I wasn’t his cunt anymore. So there.

Afterward I slammed my forehead into the mirror a few times to make sure I’d actually done it and it wasn’t a dream.)

During all of this, I was writing this stupid fic. I think. Honestly, I don’t fucking know, but I can’t think of it without thinking of him and how i was devoured.

The stress of hiding this “totally wonderful but NORMAL PEOPLE DONT UNDERSTAND WHAT WE HAVE!!!!” grooming shit from my parents was gutting me alive, and I was so far gone RE: worthiness/autonomy that I didn’t even consider why I BOTHERED diffusing his petulant accusations over notes on deviantArt again and again as he baited me into shit just to explode over how I didn’t love him and I figured out another way to soothe his engorged and tarry ego without explicitly lying that I loved him too.

He made me regret my silver tongue and way with words as I used it to defend myself again and again, and crushed my love of writing. I would pace the neighborhood for almost an hour several times a week, claiming I was ‘exercising’ but really trying to understand why i felt so trapped, or where the lines between love and hate lay, or why I wanted to cry all the time, as i low key tried to get hit by a car just to force something to change in my life and jolt me out of his smothering, needy nightmare of constant texting and emails and notes. I couldn’t fucking flinch without him knowing about it, and asking me if I was okay. For this reason, I react very poorly to people fretting over me at length, and loudly. I get angry and feel violated, or just pinned to the floor by someone Performing their love on me with no real regard for my health.

This whole time, I was escaping into fandom. It probably saved my life, in one way or another, because I found friends who supported me and made me laugh in the JnD sphere. Especially the friend whose distress caused me to snap and realize This Couldn’t Continue.

This terrible man was the first one outside of my friend group that I showed my writing to, the first adult as well. It was on the dark side even then, but he said it was wonderful and amazing. He teased me for being stuck up in my authors notes on JAM (one of the reasons I’m just getting over ... talking ...) but said it inspired him to start writing as well. He used that writing to imagine hokey sprawling stories of him being a hot rod racer and me being his sexy girlfriend, Very Totally in Love. Why Couldn’t We have Just Met in a Different Lifetime??? not that its a relevant question for my young 16yo friend lol just something dreamers wonder lol lol here why don’t you take this traditional irish engagement ring aka claddagh i bought for you, lie to your parents and say I bought one for everyone in our renfaire group, and turn it toward your heart, to imply that you’re in love, so that I can keep your heart safe for you until you find a boyfriend?

FUCKER YOU ABSOLUTE FUCKER ok I’m done. Fuck.

JAM was a project of mine that spanned a year or two and is intrinsically tangled in those very bad relationships and very bad lessons. I deleted it because I needed to, for purely personal reasons beyond the fact that it was generally bombastic, over-long, tone-deaf and dealt with very serious issues poorly. Due to these experiences, you won’t catch me in a hot minute writing either best-friends-pining or heavy jealousy/possessiveness fic, but everyone else? Go crazy just tag your shit.

so. anyway. isn’t subjectivity actually terrifying? You never know what something can mean to someone else. So just ask, maybe.

Damn, son. Some fics you just can’t repost.

#just another mission #jam #demyrie writes #personal #abuse #stalking #emotional manipulation #i would say p/edophilia but this site doesnt know what that means and this isnt it either so how about abuse of a minor #recovery #mental health #suicidal ideation #triggers #Anonymous

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