#viewed by other people as non-binary since it’s not really easy for me to make myself not look somewhat feminine to some degree

[angelofbloodlust]

shoutout to my friends that genuinely view me as masculine instead of just calling me more masc/neutral terms purely bc it’s what I said I prefer 🥰

#100% in my feels tonight sorry y’all #gonna use the tags as a little way to get some of my feelings out since I just. wanna get it out #but something I’ve always genuinely struggled with is knowing that people irl always perceive me as a girl no matter how hard I try #and as a non-binary person who likes to dress both masc and fem it does really make me sad that I probably won’t be able to be genuinely #viewed by other people as non-binary since it’s not really easy for me to make myself not look somewhat feminine to some degree #which can REALLY suck #and it absolutely did not help that when my parents’ ex was still around I was CONSTANTLY misgendered and called a girl #to the point it would ruin my mood entirely. and listen I don’t get upset when strangers misgender me bc they usually just can’t tell #but this woman literally knew me for months and was REPEATEDLY told what to call me and even though she claimed she was supportive of it #she literally never once genuinely tried #and luckily my family does do a great job at using my proper pronouns but it’s kinda rough knowing deep down they still see me as a girl #so it really does mean so much to me when my friends make me feel validated <3 more than they could ever know #thank you #not scream stuff #billy rambles

[cowboyjen68]

Hi Jen, I just wanted to hear your thoughts on transmasc butch lesbians? I’m a lesbian and I take testosterone, have top surgery, and use he/him pronouns because it makes me feel more comfortable in my body not to be perceived as a cis woman, and rather somewhere in between instead. I’m definitely not a man but sometimes I question if I’m allowed in butch spaces. Do you know of any older butches like this?

My experience with lesbians who use or decided to use trans masc either interchangeably or in conjunction with butch in real life are younger, under 30 and usually early 20's. On line I have a few "friends" (lesbians who I have formed a connection with only via DM's and messages on tiktok or instagram) who are older, most late 30's to late 40's who are now using trans masc and on some type of transitional path, either T or surgery. The older ones are all sort of newly on the path, perhaps the last 4 years. And all but a scant few use trans masc but do not seem to view it as much different than butch or masc. I can’t say for sure, I don’t ask because I don’t really see it is my business since we aren’t close friends.

No one is my real life older friend circles uses anything but butch but some don't feel an attachment to the word so they don't use it at all. When I ask my older lesbian friends, butch or not, they seem to think trans masc is “butch with intervention or additives”. NOT my words. Several said similar things. 

Younger butch friends seem a bit more able to see the nuance of trans masc vs butch or just masc but many of them come from a space where they used to ID as some flavor of trans or non binary and don’t any more so they have a better grasp.

In my lesbian circles, older, middle or younger, in real life, as in the friends I see, hang out with and have connections to, all are very connected to being a woman and loving the comradarie and friendships that sort of relatibilty affords. Not that they always were always comfortable with womanhood, that is not the case. Many, especially butches, struggled at some point with confiusion between their internal self, public and societal opinions and the perceptions of others. Most of us definitely share stories of lamenting the onset of being seen as a woman by men or even by other women because it felt weird to go from non gendered childhood or tomboy to woman. The segue was not smooth or easy. 

A few of my younger friends share their lives, both romantically or friendshipwise, with trans masc who are either on T or plan to be. None that I know of having had any surgical intervention, but again.. not really something I would ask or be privy to. 

I don’t think many of the  lesbians I know would reject a trans masc lesbian from  a friend circle because of that single thing. Personality, compatibilty, relateablity etc might be a factor but that holds true with any relationship between people. 

I can tell you this. I know a few trans masc lesbians who are comfortable being perceived as a woman and referred to as such in closed circles of trusted women but no so in public or mixed company. 

I can’t speak for all butch spaces. Obviously every group or event is allowed to set their own boundaries and purpose and some will only want those who are firmly women. Others will be quite open.  But my advice is to build one on one trusted relationships with younger AND older lesbians who then form your circle of support. Pretty soon you find you are making your own space and they are there to love you just as you are. 

Butch lesbians, of all ages, will understand you just a tad more than others. Seek that understanding and allow for questions of good intent. Older butches can lead the way to places you will find acceptance even if they aren’t quite sure about “trans masc” and what it means to you. 

My DM’s are open. Always

#lesbian #butch #trans masc

[foxounderscorecube]

Her Majesty's Royal Coven - Juno Dawson

3¼ ⭐

I have a lot of thoughts on this book, but first, my overall opinion on the book is that it's alright. The cute little homage to Good Omens in the character of Annie Device and the repurpose of government acronyms for the secret magic stuff (as in the titular HMRC) are fun, and it seems like Dawson generally had a good time coming up with ways to add a secret magical layer to the real world. I thought the pacing was decent and the style is easy to read - although, having read Cruel Summer and Say Her Name since, I do think Dawson's style suits YA a lot better. At times, it feels a bit juvenile. There's a sequel for this coming out soon, though, so there's nothing to say that she won't be able to improve upon that for the next instalment!

Now, here's the thing, right. I feel like, broadly, there are two contexts which this book can be viewed in. The first is as vent art. Despite the digestible style, this book was, at times, really fucking difficult to read because it made me angry - which is not at all a fault! The premise of this book is to reflect all the weirdness we've had politically that has led to an increase in anti-trans sentiment. It does this pretty accurately, with Helena's doubts about Theo snowballing into single-issue obsession clearly echoing stories of big names like Rowling and Linehan. It's not the most complex metaphor, but it certainly works. Helena receiving the death penalty because she put absolutely everything, including the lives of those she held dear, at risk out of her pure hatred seems to act both as catharsis and as a caution: our main characters don't agree with the harshness of the sentence even if it is in law, and express worry that she will be seen as a martyr to the group of believers she's gathered and even radicalise others.

The second is as a bit of a cry for help; an attempt to let people know what's going on before our noses. In my experience as a non-binary person who's very online and generally tries to keep up with politics to at least some extent, a lot of cis people living their day-to-day lives have, at best, the vaguest idea that some anti-trans laws are being passed in some places. Most people don't really care about trans people - and not as in, "oh, they hate us", but as in, they just have no particular reason to think about them. A lot of people - again, this is all just in my experience - are in the camp of not really "getting" it, but they don't see trans people as a problem because, you know, they're just people living their lives. Which makes sense, really. Trans and non-binary people are affected by it more so we're going to pay more attention.

Where this becomes a problem is when you try to explain some of the shit the weird little anti-trans and TERF bubbles spout to somebody who isn't affected by it or aware of it. It sounds totally ridiculous! A few years ago, I remember trying to talk to my mum about it, and she just could not comprehend why people would bother dedicating their time to hating on trans people, and so was convinced it couldn't be a real problem. The fantasy aspect to this book, I worry, could take the bite out of the point that, I must stress, it makes pretty well to a reader who knows the political context. Like I said, the parallels of Helena's character arc with (previously) well-liked and well-respected people who went waaaay down the transphobia rabbithole are pretty clear, but if you read this as someone who doesn't know much about that (or, let's be fair, how radicalisation can affect people in general), her spiral could seem improbable, I would expect. Dawson also seems to have a little bit of a habit of making her bad guys do real villain monologues, which doesn't help things in this particular example.

I mean, these are just my thoughts on it. The characters are fun; the magical action scenes are a little more sparse than I'd like, but they're enjoyable; and seeing Theo gain confidence in herself as a witch is so heartwarming - she's a great expression of trans joy, and I hope she gets more focus in the sequel because she acts mostly as a plot device in this book.

One other thing I will say as a criticism, though - it seemed a shame to me that the little POC-centred coven run by Leonie gets so little screentime (so to speak). We see enough of it, and hear enough of its reason for being, that it feels like we're left hanging! Aside from it being a little prod at the fact that the UK government is pretty bad at remembering that our population includes non-white people, and being a very obvious indication of Leonie's frustrations with even her own childhood friends' tendency to be white-centric in how they operate, it doesn't add much. There's a bit of an irony to that there, actually, isn't there?

There's a lot of potential with this setting, but I don't think it quite meets it. It is very much worth the read, though - with its digestible style and intrigue, there's a lot to like about it and it was a fairly quick read. I'll definitely be reading the sequel, which I hope will do well to improve upon this!

#read 2023 #reviewed 2023 #books #fiction #fantasy

[its-afucking-mess]

A little guide on ao3 (by an ao3 user and writer)

Friendly reminder for mobile users! Ao3 is a website. It doesn't have (as far as im concerned) an official app for mobile, so better get comfy with using crome on your phone.

Some video links ill leave for people who prefer video and audio:

- navigating the fanfiction sites

- popular fandom terminology part 1 and part 2

- shipping etiquette

i really reccomend coley's videos if you want to get to know more fandoms, or get an inside look to how some stuff works. There also might be more vids about fandom's and fan works, so don't hesitate to look through some of her stuff!

the explaining under the 'read more' ao mutuals wont kill me :)

(also tagging @ethanesimp since they asked for this advice )

So, what is Ao3 really?

Ao3 is a website made by fans for fans. There are no ads, and all content is free on Ao3. Anyone can post (with some age restrictions) and they can post anything.

How can I browse Ao3?

Ao3 does not require an account to view stories. You can easily browse as an anonymous user. You just are not able to view certain works, as creators have the ability to show their works to registered users only. Some cases, commenting is possible while anonymous, but again, it's up to the creator of the work.

If you want to be a creator and share works, you need an account.

An account also gives you the ability to bookmark works, so you can re-visit them, mark works for later, keeps a history of the works you've visited and allows you to favourite tags.

How do I get an Ao3 account?

When you first open the site, it gives you the option to "Get Invited". An invitation will be sent to your email anywhere from 24hrs later to a week later, depending on the amount of people in the automated queue.

After the invitation, you are able to set up your account like any other social media account. Pick a username, pseuds (name), description and bio. You can have a profile picture as well.

How do I navigate the site?

There are few ways to do so efficiently, but there's countless of ways you can experiment with to find which is more comfortable.

1st option: As the website loads, you can go to the 'Fandoms' tag.

Then, after clicking on it, this column appears. Through there, you can pick which media your fandom is from and from there, browse the huge list of different fandoms until you spot your own.

The list is in alphabetical order, so if your fandom begins with an "C", it shouldn't be too far down.

2nd option: At the top right, under your profile, and the options 'Post' and 'Log Out' should be a white oval search bar.

(im using my own account for demonstration)

When searching, there are many ways to work around it.

Personally, I press search as it is. It will lead you to a page where all the fanworks of the site are listed. (i believe its easiest, but always feel free to experiment)

From there, you press the 'Edit Your Search' button, located near the top right.

It will then lead you to a page with multiple fields.

Don't panic when you see all the fields. Only half those are of interest when you want to browse works for a fandom.

The most important ones are those under the Field name 'Work Tags'

Whatever you select under this field will be included in the works the site presents you with.

What are the work tags? What do they do?

Lets go through the options.

Fandom(s): when typing on this option, multiple fandom names will autofill in a list under the white space. If your fandom shows up, you can just click on it.

example:

From there, you can select the fandom you want to see works from. If your fandom doesn't show up, it can mean one of two things:

-there are no works for it

-it isn't popular enough to be picked up by the algorithm

After selecting one fandom, you can select another fandom, or more, to see works that are crossovers over universes.

Ratings: Ratings are selected by author. It defines the level of maturity it has in the work

- General audiences is the tag you want to use when nothing bad happens in the work. No swearing, no sexual activities, no violence or gore. It wont contain scenes that minors are not allowed to see.

- Teen and up audiences is the tag used for most works on the site. It is what would be used when you have mentions of/vague sexual content or violence. Normally, the most extreme stuff on there is excessive swearing, heavy angst and hurt/comfort with no excessive details

- Mature is the tag that is for 18+. It is mostly filled with one of following : Violence, Sexual Content, Ab*se, R@pe, Death and SH.

Reader descretion is advised by looking at the additional tags the author has provided, especially for those with triggers.

- Explicit is like Mature, but contains more graphic content. Works rated explicit mostly fall under the 'Graphic depictions of sexual content', 'Graphic depictions of Violence and Gore' or 'Graphic depictions of Ab*se, R@pe, or Self H*rm

Reader descretion is advised, stronger than mature, since it can be much more triggering. The works are scarily detailed sometimes.

- Not rated: the author has not given this work a rating because none of the other ratings fit the work. Pay special attention to the tags.

Warnings: Also known as Archive warnings by older users. The trigger warnings of Ao3. There are 6 archive warnings:

-Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings: The author didn't use the warnings, either because none of them fit the work's theme and warnings, or to avoid spoiling the story. Pay attention to the tags for any warnings.

-Graphic Depictions Of Violence: It is pretty self explanatory. Can contain any sort of violence, from wars, to simple fights, to ab*se of any kind. Can and often contain death. The type of violence is in the tags.

-Major Character Death: A main character in the story will die in this work. Pay attention to the tags always. The name of the character will be mentioned, as well as the way they die.

-No Archive Warnings Apply: None of the warnings apply. It is most times a perfectly safe work. Check the tags to make sure though!

-R@pe/Non-Con: The work contains non-consensual activities. Ranges from non-consensua sex to non-consensual use and ab*se of substances. Very close attention to the tags!

-Underage: The main character(s) in this work are underage/minors. This is normally tagged along sexual content so be aware and pay close attention to the tags!

Categories: This regards the relationships in the work:

- M/M, or better known as mlm or a relationship between two non-woment (men mostly, can include characters under the non-binary umbrella)

- M/F, a heterosexual relationship (is inclusive of trans characters too!)

- F/F, or wlw, or a relationship between two non-men (women mostly, can include characters under the non-binary umbrella)

- Gen, no sexual or romantic relationships are in this work, or if there are any, they arent of main focus.

- Multi: Polyamorous relationships, or multiple relationships are included in this work (this is also where threesomes+ are tagged in sometimes)

- Other relationships: One of the two people in the relationship is non-human (mostly), or the relationships are platonic/family.

Characters: The characters you want to be included in the story. This works just like the 'Fandom' filter, so the same things apply. You can tag as many characters as desirable.

Relationships: The relationships that you want present in the work. This includes both major and minor relationships. It can also include ended relationships (tagged Past x/y) and implied/referenced relationships. This works just like the Characters and Fandom filter.

Additional Tags: These are things the author has included to give potential readers an insight to the story. 'Angst', 'Fluff' and 'Smut' are additional tags. Works like the Relationships filter, so all same applies.

Is there anything I have to avoid/ I should avoid?

There is this very infamous tag, 'Dead Dove: Do not eat.' This tag is a warining to readers that the things in the work are really messed up, and can include anything illegal in it. PAY VERY CLOSE ATTENTION TO THE REST OF THE TAGS IF YOU STILL ARE INTERESTED.

How else can I filter works?

You can choose how they are:

sorted (Titles, Authors, Hits, Kudos, Comments, Bookmarks, and Best Match)

the word count (from 1 word to millions)

the language (most are on there)

the amount of chapters

if the work is complete of not

when it last updated/when was posted

and if there are crossovers.

These are all options that author has to include, and therefore you can sort freely. Most are bulletin options you can click on.

What if I want to find a specific work?

If you happen to know one of these: Author, Title, Fandom or Rating, you will find it. If you were reccomended one, it's better to ask for the author or the title, to make looking for it easier.

Can I find a specific author/ user?

People search is for finding users on the site

Bookmark search helps you look through other people's public bookmarks. Not really used.

Tag search finds works that include this specific tag you searched. Also not used a lot.

People can see my bookmarks?

When bookmarking a work, you are able to do a lot.

if you do not want your bookmarks to be visible to the public, make sure to check off the Private bookmark box at the bottom left.

Common terms thrown around by Ao3 users:

-tags: the additional tags of the work

-kudos: liking a story

-bookmarks: saving/saved stories. makes it easy to revist. you can see your bookmarks from your profile

-hits: the amount of people that have clicked on a story. Isn't necessary they liked it, but they did click on it.

And those are the basics! If you had to take one thing only, its ALWAYS READ TAGS

I hope this helped the clueless souls even a bit :)

Im open to reply to any other questions, and you can send me them in my asks, messages or comments of this post

#sofi's advice #navigating ao3 #help #advice #ao3

[lightns881]

DTeam Tumblr Demographics Survey Results (Part 2):

What does DTeamblr look like, what does it have to do with MCYT history, and why does it look like a rainbow?

I’ll make an educated guess here and say y'all enjoyed my last post (totally unrelated to the way I gained almost 50 followers overnight). Anyhow, thank you so much for the overwhelming support! I’m so glad a lot of you felt you could relate to my deep-dive into the leading personality type on DTeam Tumblr. It took me so many hours to write and research, and as a math major and honors student, it’s no easy feat, so I’m so grateful for the attention it got!

Today we’re discussing the general demographics of DTeam Tumblr and why they might look the way they do. Number 8 will blow your mind! So make sure to keep reading and hit that little grey heart and arrow at the bottom if you like it, so more people get to see it! Thanks for your support! Now, let’s jump straight into the post!

Your Daily Dose of Data

From the 449 responses we received, these are some pie charts displaying the gender, age, and sexuality of all respondents.

Image Description: Female (52.8%), Non-Binary (37.4%), Male (9.8%)

Image Description: 16-17 (37%), 13-15 (31.4%), 18 and over (29.4%), 12 and under (2.2%)

Image Description: Bisexual/Pansexual (54.1%), Homosexual (16%), Asexual (14.7%), Other (7.8%), Heterosexual (7.3%)

Mmhm, delicious! Y'all ready to dig into these stats? Because I don’t know about you, but they certainly don’t strike me as what the general population looks like!

Welcome to Tumblr, the Only Community Where Straight Men are the Minority

So these statistics certainly didn’t take me by surprise. Mostly because the DNF Shipper Survey I took some time ago revealed a similar trend. Not to mention, Tumblr is probably the QUEEREST internet community on the planet. 

Funny enough, the survey revealed a shocking number of ZERO heterosexual males respondents. I’ll say it louder for the people in the back. ZERO straight males were recorded out of 449 respondents for this survey!

Now, this isn’t surprising for the Tumblr community by itself, but I can say I’m somewhat surprised in terms of the MCYT Tumblr community. (Obviously, the survey specified DTeam Tumblr, but there is a big overlap between both communities, so I will be using them interchengably when it seems relevant.)

Let’s break this down. The survey reveals the largest age population is 16-17, though it’s not by a great margin in comparison to 13-15 and 18 and older, which doesn’t surprise me either. Some of the major critics of the DTeam Fandom and other MCYT Fandoms love to claim the fanbase’s majority age range lies with children and pre-teens. While it’s an undeniable fact children are drawn to Minecraft, it’s also a misconception to paint it as solely a community for younger viewers.

In the MCYT Tumblr and DTeam Tumblr communities, specifically, we see this is not the case. Only 1/3 of the respondents of this survey are under the age of 16 (you could attribute part of it to the fact younger people might be less inclined to participate in this survey, but it is still a notable difference). I can’t say these age ranges are similar in other parts of the community like DTeam Twitter, Tik Tok, or Reddit, but if I had to make a guess, I’d say Tumblr lies toward the older of the bunch, with Reddit being the oldest and Tik Tok being the youngest (I do hope to perform this survey on some of the other communities, so please stay until the end if you want to help with that).

One of the likely explanations to why the ages for DTeam Tumblr look this way is the fact a big chunk of the community has likely been watching MCYT for a long time (even with breaks in between). I, myself, used to watch channels like PopularMMOs, Aphmau, and PrestonPlayz as a kid, and I presume many of you are familiar with them as well. With the resurgence of MCYT in the past year, it likely drew a lot of the older viewers in addition to the new ones.

But enough about age. What I really want to highlight on this post is the attraction of queer individuals to DTeam Tumblr and MCYT as a whole.

Why is the current MCYT Fandom so queer in comparison to the previous generations?

This is a huge open-ended question and considering I can only capture so much of the DTeam and MCYT community, the rest of this post should be taken solely as a theoretical analysis as opposed to fact.

With that out of the way, let’s start by discussing the shift MCYT has undergone over the years (I promise this will circle back to the question of queerness in the MCYT fandom, but we need some background before we can come up with a decent theory).

When Minecraft was first released, it proved to be a monumental change in the gaming industry. This simple little indie game took the world by storm. It was so vastly different from what the general population generally viewed gaming as (first-person shooters, story-driven games, action games, etc.) Not to mention, it didn’t exactly solely appeal to only a small margin of gamers, those being white cis males.

The gaming industry has notoriously been known in the past for its heteronormative community and general prejudice toward minorities. Though it has gone through a significant change over the decades, we certainly can’t say it’s fully gone.

Yet for whatever reason, the recent MCYT has taken the interest of so many queer people in comparison to other gaming YouTube communities. Why? Why are queer people so drawn to this community? And, more precisely, why does it feel so different than the old MCYT? Lastly, how does this relate to the conclusion about the leading personalities of this fandom we made in the last post?

The Niche Communities of MCYT Over the Years

MCYT has always been a huge, over-saturated genre of YouTube with content appealing to a variety of audiences. It’s dominated gaming content for years, and I think we can all safely say it’s never been bigger than it is today.

So why is it that just now it feels like the queerness of the fandom is popping off? Why now as opposed to say five years ago when MCYT was at another one of it’s strongest stages?

It seems like the community has made a tremendous shift in relation to breaking gender norms and LGBTQ+ subjects, not only in the fans but within the creators themselves. Was flirting and calling a pretty-boy streamer pet names as normal in the past as it is today? Were straight gamer guys putting on dresses and a full-face of make-up as supported back then? Were “marriages” and “pregnancies” within Minecraft boys an everyday occurrence like they are now? How is it that MCYT has dominated a Twitch dating show where flirting with the gay host and among straight contestants themselves is just another bit of entertainment? Where is this all coming from?

Recently, I watched a 2 hour documentary depicting all of the stages of Minecraft YouTube and how it has changed over the years. If you haven’t seen it and you have some time to spare, I HIGHLY recommend it! It’s very informative, and it honestly gave me such a strong sense of nostalgia that makes me choke up every time I think about it. I’ll link it below.

The documentary does a great job at exploring the different niche communities that dominated MCYT since it first took off. Some of such communities include the basic Let’s Players, the team-based Let’s Play channels like How2Minecraft, the roleplay story-centric ones like Aphmau and Samgladiator, the tutorial, building and technical side like Mumbo and Grian, the PVP-centric Bedwars or Hypixel channels, the Machinima community, the comedy side like ExplosiveTNT, the parody music videos, and so many more. All of the mentioned communities have dominated Minecraft at one point or another, many of them still having a rippling effect and/or a loyal community today. All of these communities have certain aspects that define them, some of which parallel the current overtaking content in the present.

How can we compare MyStreet to the Dream SMP?

Taking Aphmau as an example, her MyStreet series had a TREMENDOUS success a few years ago, racking in millions of views and bringing in a lot of money that eventually allowed her to hire voice actors and increase the production of mentioned episodes. The roleplay series was so successful it ran for six seasons!

Now, let’s compare that to the Dream SMP. It seems like a big comparison to be making considering they appear so different at first glance. For once, Aphmau is just one channel whose audience caters toward girls and younger people who enjoy romance. The series is set-up in an episodic-format that resembles more of a TV series than actual Minecraft videos.

Meanwhile, the Dream SMP is a collection of content creators with a mix of improvised storylines and the occasional regular video that resembles more of a Let’s Play series than a RP series.

You could say the only true comparisons to draw out of these two are the popularity they had/have and the profit they brought to their respective creators. 

However, there’s two other key similarities that you’ll find not only within these two specific examples, but many other channels and communities as well. Story and characters.

MyStreet’s story aspect is fairly obvious seeing as it’s a episodic series that focuses on a fictional story. The Dream SMP’s story aspect isn’t as clear, but it’s evident there is a story playing out in the foreground and background, whether intentional or unintentional, or improvised or not.

Character is where some of you might start to question me. It’s obvious MyStreet has characters. I mean, it is a fictional story, after all. But the Dream SMP? Light, they’re obviously people!

Well, my answer to that is yes and no--sort of. The Dream SMP’s story heavily relies on roleplay, bits as you might call them. Events that aren’t necessarily planned out as a fictional plot like the typical MyStreet episode is, but they aren’t exactly real. Schlatt is obviously not a villain in real life, he just likes to impersonate as one for the narrative. Wilbur isn’t crazy, but it’s a way to spice up the heroic story surrounding Tommy and him.

It’s video-game improv. Except the actors behind the content just so happen to be real people playing off the personalities and “brands” they have obtained. 

Brands. It all boils down to this. In the entertainment business, without a clear vision of your project and a clear way to brand what your consumer intakes, your project will likely not find a lot of success.

There’s a reason why Tommy plays off his loudness, using an overexaggerated laugh that although may not be completely fake, it is likely not the laugh he uses everyday. Or why BadBoyHalo is this supposed innocent muffin who doesn’t understand the crafting table meme and other references that are fairly easy to google and find the meaning of. Or why Sapnap is this chaotic being who loves starting pet wars and we love to paint as an arsonist in the Dream SMP. While all of these personality traits may be a part of their true selves, they’re played up for the camera--for the story. They act as the personas that define their characters in the narrative.

They have a clear brand and vision that appeals to the audience and makes them tune in on the daily to see how they all come together. It’s like roleplaying a more extreme version of yourself, one that brings home the money.

Story and characters run across every entertainment outlet. They define their brand. Aphmau has her characters and series. Hermitcraft has a set of memorable personalities and episodic videos that formulate its own story that is less like a narrative and more of a history of the server. ExplodingTNT has his recurring cast and comedic sketches. Most of these niche communities have a form of story and character defining them. It’s how they achieve a clear sense of branding and cater to a specific audience.

Queer Theory in MCYT

Having said all that, why does the MCYT of today draw in so many queer viewers?

Let’s think about this. In my last post, I ended by mentioning DTeam Tumblr is a sort of safe haven for INFP and INxx types who might be placed in the “other” category by society. INFPs, specially, are predisposed for escapism--one common form of it being fiction and entertainment. Not to mention, INFPs are feeling types who, as introverts, seek a personable connection. It’s why it’s so easy for them to obsess over book characters or fall in love with content creators.

Now, let’s imagine a whole community of LGBTQ+ INFP and INxx types. Actually, scratch that, we don’t even have to imagine it.

It’s what our community looks like today.

And why are so many so drawn to the DTeam and Dream SMP of all things? It’s a personable storyline that essentially forms a direct tie to the viewer. Unlike pre-recorded fictional TV series you tune into on your device, the Dream SMP is a whole load of chaos that blurs the lines between reality and fiction where fans can directly connect to creators and get to know them as people through a storyline that features sub-textual queer themes and non-conforming behaviors.

The MCYT content creator community of today is more non-conforming than ever before, and knowing this whole fact, knowing that many of them might place themselves in the “other” category or at the very least aren’t afraid to break the norms and be seen in that light, is a comfort in itself for LGBTQ+ INFP types. Once again, it’s a safe space that helps you escape from the troubles of real life, one you relate to.

Okay. So although this does answer why the fans look like they do, what about the creators themselves? Are we really supposed to believe this all came through naturally? That a bunch of straight guys suddenly decided wearing dresses was something they wanted to do?

I don’t mean to sound cynical here, and I’m in no way trying to insinuate creators have solely some sort of corrupt ulterior motive. Things are never as simple as they look. However, the truth is, a part of it lies on the attention it’s gotten.

I’ve talked a lot about DreamNotFound and the way Dream uses it as a marketing ploy. I stand by my point. However, he’s not the only one who does this in the MCYT community. Why did Finn suddenly go from wearing a dress to cross-dressing as a girl for a whole week? Why are so many creators suddenly deciding wearing dresses is fun? Why does every freaking straight MCYT actively want to flirt with George nowadays?

Let’s just let Techno’s favorite word answer this for us: clout.

It gets attention from one of the largest historically underserved minority community in the entertainment business. We might not be able to see gay flirting in every Netflix TV show or guys not minding dresses and getting fake marriages, but you are certainly going to get at least one of those in every Dream SMP stream and video you tune into. It gets attention. It brings home the money. And do I blame them? Not really.

Interestingly enough, there’s a lot of analytical posts on the MCYT Tumblr community that discuss the dangers of these tactics and why gay jokes and the way queer subtext is treated by MCYT creators is harmful. Despite this, it still attracts such a huge community of queers. So why exactly would queer people actively watch something that’s offensive or harmful to us?

I have a lot more to say about this topic and the morality behind Dream’s tactics, but I’m out of breath for today, so I’ll talk about it in my next post. What better way to start the conversation about the DNF and Karlnap questions of the survey than a good ol’ discussion on the morality of queerbaiting and the likes?

If you got this far, I’d appreciate it if you liked and reblogged this post if you enjoyed it and/or learned something new! Also, important news, I would really like to perform a similar study on the DTeam Twitter Community to measure the differences in demographics across platforms. I would REALLY appreciate it if you guys could go like, retweet and share the link I posted on my Twitter about it (tweet will be linked in the reblog below) so it reaches more of the DTeam Twitter community!

However, if you filled out the survey yourself here or you associate more with DTeam Tumblr than DTeam Twitter please DO NOT fill out the survey again! I’m trying to make sure it reaches the audience that mains on Twitter, but I need a little help with that since I don’t have as big of an influence on Twitter than on here for obvious reasons.

Anyhow, thank you so much for all your support! I really appreciate y’all and make sure to hit the follow if you want to lookout for the next demographics post! <3

(Pssst, I’m releasing a MCYT DNF superpower AU longfic next month... You should totally go check out the post on that if you’re interested in it...)

#dteam #dteamblr #dream smp #dttblr #mcyt #dreamwastaken #dnf #mcyttblr #georgenotfound #dreamnotfound #dttwt #dream team #dteamblr demographics survey

[adventuresoutsidethegenderbinary]

I know this is a stupid question but I went to the hairdresser last week (I’m afab non-binary and still miles in the closet) and asked to get my hair cut like Campbell from taking over the asylum. I came out of there looking like I was gonna ask for the manager of the grocery mart (like a Karen) and it made me feel even worse than before. Once I got home, I was able to get at it with a flat iron so it looks a little shorter, but it still makes me feel terribly feminine and not how I want to present. I’m debating whether I should hack at my hair with the kitchen shears, or let it grow back a little so I can have the gender talk with my family and get it properly cut. Basically, I’m wondering if you know any easy way to explain dysphoria to the cis’s and how to doctor up a terrible haircut. Sorry for the long ask.

Thank you for any help, and sending lots of love and karma your way! ❤️

Hey!

As a person who has struggled with their hair a lot, believe me that this is not a stupid question. For a lot of us, hair can be a super big source of euphoria or dysphoria, so having a haircut you vibe with is important.

I may not be the best for advice with hair because a) I’ve never been able to get mine cut above my shoulders ☹ b) I have curly hair that tends to fall differently than other people’s. I’ll try my best to help though! I probably wouldn’t go at it with scissors, since I’ve never heard about that turning out well. I think it would be good to go get it cut shorter (maybe even straight up tell your barber you want to look androgynous if you’re comfortable) again, but if you’re uncomfortable waiting until you can tell your family, I would just use hats. Hats are great. Baseball caps, beanies, bucket hats, the list goes on. Mess around with them to see what works for you and if any of them make you feel more comfortable. 

In terms of explaining dysphoria to cis folks, it obviously varies person to person, but I think the way I explained it to my older brother was rather effective. I told him to imagine that everyone thought he was a girl, and that he had the body of a girl. He could of course be a “tomboy” and still pursue masculine interests, the same as he had in real life, but everyone would still view him as a girl and use she/her pronouns. Plus, he’d still have the body of a girl. He thought that sounded terrible and it really helped him to understand what I was going through.

I hope this helps! Best of luck coming out to your family - know that I will always love and support you!

River

#nonbinary #enby #gender identity #gender #lgbtq+ #asks #answered #ask river

[a-room-of-my-own]

Hi! Did you see the NewStasteman interview with Judith Butler? The way she framed the whole debate about gender is so depressing, I cannot believe it... And that's without going into the Rowling debate, the more I read about it on Twitter and tumblr and the most depressed I get. How can womanhood be reduced to a feeling anyone can claim?

https://www.newstatesman.com/international/2020/09/judith-butler-culture-wars-jk-rowling-and-living-anti-intellectual-times

I had not seen it so thank you for giving me the opportunity to read it. She’s really manipulative and that’s pretty scary honestly. I picked up a few examples to show you 

“I want to first question whether trans-exclusionary feminists are really the same as mainstream feminists. (…) I want to first question whether trans-exclusionary feminists are really the same as mainstream feminists. (…)I think it is actually a fringe movement that is seeking to speak in the name of the mainstream, and that our responsibility is to refuse to let that happen.  

It’s “our” responsibility to act on something she cannot prove? It’s quite easy to observe that trans-activists are an active minority within the feminist movement. On the other hand, it’s much harder to prove than most people support modern trans-activism in all its implications. She doesn’t give any source, proof or figures to support her claim but ask people to fight for it, nevertheless. That’s faith, not fact. 

If we look closely at the example that you characterise as “mainstream” [the problem of men claiming to be trans to access women’s space] we can see that a domain of fantasy is at work, one which reflects more about the feminist who has such a fear than any actually existing situation in trans life. 

Then again, no proof, when many gender critical bloggers have lists of dozens of examples of men using self-ID to access bathrooms, women’s shelters, women’s prisons, some of them sex offenders.  

The feminist who holds such a view presumes that the penis does define the person, and that anyone with a penis would identify as a woman for the purposes of entering such changing rooms and posing a threat to the women inside. It assumes that the penis is the threat, or that any person who has a penis who identifies as a woman is engaging in a base, deceitful, and harmful form of disguise. This is a rich fantasy, and one that comes from powerful fears, but it does not describe a social reality. 

That’s a lot of words to call women who are afraid of men “hysterical”. #sorority 

Trans women are often discriminated against in men’s bathrooms, and their modes of self-identification are ways of describing a lived reality, one that cannot be captured or regulated by the fantasies brought to bear upon them. The fact that such fantasies pass as public argument is itself cause for worry. 

Word salad that could be translated like this: our priority shouldn’t be protecting women from men, it should be accommodating men, because #notallmen are predators, so it would be very unfair to them, uwu. Men’s concerns should always be considered while women who are afraid are irrational. 

I am not aware that terf is used as a slur.  

I’m 99% sure that’s a lie, but okay. 

I wonder what name self-declared feminists who wish to exclude trans women from women's spaces would be called? If they do favour exclusion, why not call them exclusionary? 

Women who want to have spaces without men should be called exclusionary, because we define women based on their relationship with men and how they include them. Suuuuure. 

If they understand themselves as belonging to that strain of radical feminism that opposes gender reassignment, why not call them radical feminists? My only regret is that there was a movement of radical sexual freedom that once travelled under the name of radical feminism, but it has sadly morphed into a campaign to pathologise trans and gender non-conforming peoples. 

We’re not the ones telling you can cure a psychological problem with cross-sex hormones and amputations, but we are the one pathologizing trans and GNC people. That’s hi-la-rious.  

My sense is that we have to renew the feminist commitment to gender equality and gender freedom in order to affirm the complexity of gendered lives as they are currently being lived. 

Meaningless word salad > "women should let men redefine the word woman as they please"

Let us be clear that the debate here [between people who support JKR and others] is not between feminists and trans activists. There are trans-affirmative feminists, and many trans people are also committed feminists. So one clear problem is the framing that acts as if the debate is between feminists and trans people. It is not. One reason to militate against this framing is because trans activism is linked to queer activism and to feminist legacies that remain very alive today. 

TLDR: Real feminist can only be trans-supporters. 

Feminism has always been committed to the proposition that the social meanings of what it is to be a man or a woman are not yet settled. We tell histories about what it meant to be a woman at a certain time and place, and we track the transformation of those categories over time.  

That’s gender for you Judith, not biological sex. Social identities vary, biological sex is a constant. Saying that isn't essentialism.

We depend on gender as a historical category, and that means we do not yet know all the ways it may come to signify, and we are open to new understandings of its social meanings. It would be a disaster for feminism to return either to a strictly biological understanding of gender or to reduce social conduct to a body part or to impose fearful fantasies, their own anxieties, on trans women...  

“Women who are afraid of men are irrational” third instalment.  

Their abiding and very real sense of gender ought to be recognised socially and publicly as a relatively simple matter of according another human dignity. The trans-exclusionary radical feminist position attacks the dignity of trans people.   

Men are whoever they say they are, women are whoever men say they are.  

One does not have to be a woman to be a feminist, and we should not confuse the categories. Men who are feminists, non-binary and trans people who are feminists, are part of the movement if they hold to the basic propositions of freedom and equality that are part of any feminist political struggle.  

Many feminists consider that men can only be feminist allies, so the debate is clearly not settled.  

When laws and social policies represent women, they make tacit decisions about who counts as a woman, and very often make presuppositions about what a woman is. We have seen this in the domain of reproductive rights. So the question I was asking then is: do we need to have a settled idea of women, or of any gender, in order to advance feminist goals?   

Does “woman” need to have a *gasp* definition? Judith is saying it doesn’t. You’ll notice that she doesn’t say that anything about “man” not having a stable definition. She believes it’s possible to fight against misogyny while having no stable definition for what a woman is. Laughable. 

I put the question that way… to remind us that feminists are committed to thinking about the diverse and historically shifting meanings of gender, and to the ideals of gender freedom. By gender freedom, I do not mean we all get to choose our gender. Rather, we get to make a political claim to live freely and without fear of discrimination and violence against the genders that we are. 

Word salad > “we don’t get to choose our gender but we get to choose it I am very smart"

Many people who were assigned “female” at birth never felt at home with that assignment, and those people (including me) tell all of us something important about the constraints of traditional gender norms for many who fall outside its terms.   

Many women have internalized misogyny and homophobia, which in turn had a huge impact on their sense of self and self-esteem, but that doesn’t mean they’re not women Judith. And I don’t think any woman who was forcefully married, who had her vulva mutilated for religious reasons, had to wear a veil since she was a toddler, or was sold as a child into prostitution ever “felt at home” with having been born a girl, you absolute unit.  

Feminists know that women with ambition are called “monstrous” or that women who are not heterosexual are pathologised. We fight those misrepresentations because they are false and because they reflect more about the misogyny of those who make demeaning caricatures than they do about the complex social diversity of women. Women should not engage in the forms of phobic caricature by which they have been traditionally demeaned. And by “women” I mean all those who identify in that way. 

That was going so well until the last sentence 

I think we are living in anti-intellectual times, and that this is evident across the political spectrum. 

JB, darling, just read your own word salad and get some self-awareness. 

The quickness of social media allows for forms of vitriol that do not exactly support thoughtful debate. We need to cherish the longer forms. 

Tell that to your supporters Miss I Wasn't Aware TERF Were A Slur.

I am against online abuse of all kinds. I confess to being perplexed by the fact that you point out the abuse levelled against JK Rowling, but you do not cite the abuse against trans people and their allies that happens online and in person. 

Kindergarten argument, but sure. Also, yet again, no proof. 

I disagree with JK Rowling's view on trans people, but I do not think she should suffer harassment and threats. Let us also remember, though, the threats against trans people in places like Brazil, the harassment of trans people in the streets and on the job in places like Poland and Romania – or indeed right here in the US.  

“Threats against JKR are bad BUT have you seen what’s happening in Brazil?”. I’m sorry what? Also, could trans-activist please stop instrumentalizing Brazilian stats, since they reflect the situation of prostituted homosexual transsexuals ?  

 So if we are going to object to harassment and threats, as we surely should, we should also make sure we have a large picture of where that is happening, who is most profoundly affected, and whether it is tolerated by those who should be opposing it. It won’t do to say that threats against some people are tolerable but against others are intolerable. 

NO ONE, literally NO ONE said that threats against trans people were acceptable. In fact, most, if not pretty much all threats, especially physical threats, don’t come from radical feminists, but from men. Basically, what she’s saying is “who cares about threats against JKR, trans people (men) matter more”.  

If trans-exclusionary radical feminists understood themselves as sharing a world with trans people, in a common struggle for equality, freedom from violence, and for social recognition, there would be no more trans-exclusionary radical feminists.  

♫ Kumbaya my Lord, Kumbaya ♪ 

It is a sad day when some feminists promote the anti-gender ideology position of the most reactionary forces in our society. 

All radical feminists are right wingers, sure. 

Anyway, it's terrible that this kind of article is taken seriously when it could be summed up as "women are irrational and hysterical, men can be women and redefine the word woman if they so wish"...

#Gender critical #Judith Butler #And that's sooo pompous #Way to hide the emptiness of your reasoning ma'am

[versegm]

You know, you expected nothing, and yet you're still let down.

"Aw, come on master, where's your sense of wonder? Of adventure?" Astolfo's hand is firm around your wrist as he guides you forward. "You are on the Moon, master! The Moon! A little enthusiasm, will you?"

It's not that you're against it, per se, it's just that...

well...

"Well, this is where all the lost things lay, after all. Can't help it if it gets a little cluttered!" He slows down to wave at the piles and piles of various items around you. "On my version of the Moon, anyway. I'm sure the real Moon is cleaner than that. But dreams don't have to be accurate. That's what's so great about them!"

Sometimes, people say Things, and you've learned quickly not to ask.

Astolfo, bless him, doesn't elaborate. Instead, he points at what looks like, for all intent and purposes, a pile of chairs. "Here, check it out! It's all the time lost gambling." And then, a little further, urns pierced on the side. "And these are the projects you will never get down. And-"

Astolfo suddenly pauses, in front of a lot of oil lamps. A second passes. He is still. Two seconds pass. He is silent.

"... Astolfo?"

"Oh! Sorry, master. I got distracted." Must be quite the distraction then. Astolfo is always moving, and even more often talking. For him to stop both of these things, it must be important. "It's a history that never was."

A history that never was...? "... Like a singularity?"

"Precisely. This one is Orleans, specifically." He raises the lamp a little higher. In the reflection, you see something like fire. "The memories no one hold. The events that never were. Everything you've ever done or said in Orleans, that history erased with the back of the hand. That's what it represents."

... Oh.

But you thought this would be...

"Lost?" He smiles as he sets the lamp down. "I mean, that's precisely why it's here. When I said where everything lost lays, I meant where everything lost lays." He strokes his chin with a thoughtful look. "Though, I guess, in a way, that means nothing is truly lost? Since I am here and all. Whatever is forgotten or tossed away, I can get it back."

"Isn't it kind of cheating?" The universe makes no sense. You've known that for a long time already, obviously. But every once in a while you still get reminded of it full force. "What even are you doing up there?"

Astolfo blinks. This is the first time you've ever seen them so surprised.

"... Aw, master!" They're back to grinning and- oh, they're hugging you. Alright. You can work with that. "I think you're the first person I've ever met who doesn't think me lost."

Huh. Really? "Chaldea is filled with Berserkers. You're a little wild, but I wouldn't call you insane."

"Most masters don't survive a bond with one Berserkers, let alone as many as you, master." He sticks his tongue out at you. "That's fair, though. My insanity is much closer to yours than theirs."

Uh. 

Come again?

"It's easy! Most berserkers' mad enhancement stem from obsession, you feel? Lancelot and poor Artoria, Darius and Iskandar... okay, some times, it's more of a 'no thought head empty' deal, with Tamamo Cat or Hercules, I guess. But you get my point, right?"

He's dragging you among the piles again. "You and I, it's different. Our insanity isn't due to some deep obsession, or because we can't hold a train of thought. We're perceived as insane because we fail at properly mimicking humans."

... This is an Uncomfortable thought. But you kind of get it? You think? "As in, social cues and all?"

"Yeah!" He squeezes your wrist. "I've heard Nightingale threaten you of amputation, like, three times. And you didn't react. At all. Normal people don't do that. They get scared. If you don't act scared, then that must mean you are not normal. So. Insane."

"And you're 'insane' because you have no impulse control and no shame?"

"Yup! And I'm not interested in having any. I'm quite happy like this." He takes a sharp turn suddenly, and starts scaling up a mountain of- jewels? Treasuries? You wonder what this is supposed to represent. "Though, I don't really have the option not to. Such is the nature of the Moon."

"Didn't you say earlier you could get anything back from here? I thought that included your sanity." Or maybe it's buried somewhere too deep for Astolfo to get it back?

But Astolfo shakes his head. "Of course I could. But that'd be useless. My existence is tied to the Moon, in a fundamental way. Like that dragon and Old Man Siegfriend, you see?"

"Isn't it pronounced Siegfried?"

"He's a Siegfriend to me." He sounds awfully proud of himself. "But yeah. I can't not be like this. Because my nature is of the Moon, and the nature of the Moon is to-"

[reflect]

There's something strange in the way he says that word. It's like it wasn't his voice at all. Like it echoed from beneath your very feet, from every golden coin slipping between your fingers.

"I can only partially act normal, because the Moon only partially reflects the sunlight. Here, let me help you up." Ah, finally, the top of the hill. "That's also why most of my noble phantasms are borrowed. I have to [reflect] someone else's power. Because my nature is of the Moon!"

Your hands ache from climbing through sharp jewelry. But, you have to admit, the view is beautiful from here.

And then, something suddenly strikes you. "You are a man."

"That is correct."

"You are a woman."

"That is also correct!" He grabs your hand. His fingers may look delicate, but his palms feel rough and calloused. "I'm whatever people see me as. Man, woman, non-binary, bigender, demigender. I'm all of them. I'm none of them. Your guess is as good as any! I [reflect] what others see me as."

He runs his thumb on the back of your hand, softly. "Ready to run down there?"

What?! Wait, no, hold-

Astolfo doesn't wait for you, obviously. He rushes down the hill and pulls you in his wake, cackling like a madman. FuckfuckfuckfuckFUCKFUCKFUCK-

"Hey hey hey! Master, master, wasn't it fun?"

It was but please give a warning next time, Astolfo.

He laughs again, and reach out to ruffle your hair. "My bad, my bad. But hey, at least we're here! Wasn't the shortcut totally worth it?"

Here?

He was actually guiding you somewhere?

"Obviously." The next pile he drags you to is of bottles. Some small, some large, all filled with what you can only assume to be liquor. "You know, usually, I don't like getting all philosophical. I'm more of an action person, you feel? But for you, I figured I could make the effort."

He tosses a bottle at you. It's quite large; you're so surprised by the weight that it takes you a second to realize your name is written on it.

"... It's not alcohol, is it?"

"Pft, nah. I wouldn't have dragged you here for some cheap wine." He shakes his head. When he speaks next, his voice is just an octave lower. 

"Master. This is your sanity."

...

Ah.

That's... a lot more than you'd thought.

"Yeah." For a fleeting second, he looks- sad? Pitying? It's gone before you can analyse it further. "If you want it back, you just have to drink. It's that simple."

... Just... to drink...

You stare at the bottle. Then Astolfo. Then the bottle again.

You... just need to drink. Just. Need to drink.

Just.

Faintly, you notice your hands are trembling.

Finally, you hear a sigh, and you realize you have no idea how long you've stood here. It could have been hours. It could have been years. It most likely has been a full minute.

Astolfo reaches out, and takes the bottle off your hands. You don't try to stop him.

"I figured you'd do that. But I thought, I should at least offer you the option to have it back, you know?" He sets the bottle back on the pile. "But you're right. This would only do you a disservice."

He turns to you again. Reaches out. Brush hair off your forehead.

"Had you been a little saner, you wouldn't have been able to handle any of this, would you?"

#fate #fate grand order #fgo #astolfo #ritsuka fujimaru #guda #my writing #technically a repost but I like it and it's my blog so

[mbti-notes]

What do you think is the best way to deal with the fear of things getting even more conservative and harsh? I'm so scared about the future, living in a dystopian society and having all my rights taken as a non binary queer person. Infj.

I suppose you’re referring to US politics? Please be more specific because the majority of my readership isn’t from the US. You’re asking a loaded question that basically requires me to agree with the premise that everything will be doomed. I can’t agree with that, since I purposely don’t approach politics in a reactive way.

When you’re drowning in fear, you’re not thinking straight. One of the reasons political discourse has reached the lows that it has in the US is because of incessant screaming and hyperbole. The political mediascape is a for-profit machine that is designed to work people up, manipulate their emotions, and keep them living in fear of “enemies”. This creates the mindset of being in a constant fight for survival against various abstractions of “evil”, and it’s much easier to separate you from your money when you’re so threatened that you’re willing to pay to feel safe/validated. The more that people get sucked into this war mentality, the less capable they are of making wise political decisions, since every important problem gets made into an oversimplified “wedge” issue to test your loyalty to your team. 

The world is a lot more complex than red vs blue. To make a living, I have to follow news from around the world very closely. Yes, people get heated about politics, but observe the political reporting from other countries and you will see a difference in the tone and quality. In some countries, there are, gasp!, more than two viable political parties, and thus, more ideas and approaches to choose from. The US has commodified political fear and outrage like no one else by purposely pitting people against each other like rival sports teams, in a state of perpetual conflict, and, most importantly, always distracted from the underlying power structures that are making their lives worse.

To be clear, I’m not a conservative, though I’ve been surrounded and preached to by conservatives my whole life - I engage with them continuously. I am certainly angered by people being stripped of their rights and opportunities. I am certainly depressed when I see people abused and oppressed. I am certainly frustrated when my life suffers from the decisions of politicians I did not vote for. However, I staunchly defend freedom and diversity of beliefs and values. I often have to remind people that many countries and cultures around the world are conservative, and they are not abject hellscapes. Do not equate conservatism with dystopia, barbarism, fundamentalism, extremism, terrorism, xenophobia, or lord of the flies - it doesn’t matter who is doing it, hyperbole and stereotypes are dehumanizing, which enables the violence of war mentality. Conservatism, at its best, is actually needed by society to function well. Progressivism, at its best, is actually needed by society to function well. Intelligent political discourse begins with each of us getting our facts and concepts correct, otherwise, there’s no hope of cooler heads prevailing. It’s important to correctly identify the cause of a problem by labeling it properly.

Every system has flaws and every system will eventually fall apart when those flaws are left to fester and worsen. The US is supposed to be a democracy, right? A democracy is only ever as smart as the people participating in it. Can you say, with a straight face, that Americans have a deep understanding of their political system and work hard to be well-informed of all the political, economic, social, and international issues that the country grapples with? Can you say that the majority of people even understand the political terminology they use? 

The US is admired around the world for its individualism. Individuals succeed and fail by their own hand. Individuals are free to pursue their own happiness and well-being. “The Land of Opportunity”, right? Americans have exported this idea, drawing immigrants from all around the world. However, individualism, taken to an extreme, exacts a very steep price. The bonds which hold individuals together to form a well-functioning society gradually weaken over time. This is a huge problem if you hope to make good collective decisions, which is what elected officials are tasked to do.

The language and currency of politics is power. With power, you get to write the rules. Without power, you are subject to someone else’s rules. It’s really that simple and crass. The purpose of there being many different voices in a discussion is to make sure that no 1 agenda/group gets to dominate the discussion and become too extreme. Opportunists, corporations, and media companies figured this out a long time ago, so they do what they can to shut down nuanced debate and discussion. They all have a deep vested interest in hyping up the individualist ethos of American culture, not because they actually care about “culture” in any noble sense, but because they know that individuals have very limited power. One person alone cannot disrupt the status quo, and keeping everyone psychologically isolated means that those with power can keep enriching themselves without disruption.

Currently, almost every major aspect of American society is designed to stop you from realizing and using your power. Media keeps you locked in fear, feeling victimized, demonizing each other. Big corporate interests keep you hyperfocused on your own emotional vulnerabilities, telling you to earn and consume your way to a false sense of power, as they quietly dismantle workplace and social supports that would preserve your actual power. The prevailing social mandate to be ever productive and “successful” keeps you running like a hamster on a wheel, with little energy to spare for anything else. You are expected, at adulthood, to become a self-made person, never having to rely on anyone for anything, thereby eroding your ties to your roots and kin. If you fail, you are shamed and dubbed a loser, and expected to redouble your efforts to chase higher social status. And some people simply choose to drop out completely, thus relinquishing any social power they had.

In US society, those in power abuse the archetype of the “individual” and the virtue of “independence” to siphon more and more power. Individualism, in its most immature form, is really just self-centeredness. Everyone is only out for themselves and grabbing what they can before someone else does. People fight each other for scraps. And the ultimate goal of life is to have more than the people around you, such that you have the power and privilege to shield yourself from the other hungry dogs. There is no bigger picture to aspire to beyond one’s own survival and daily pleasures. If this is the underlying ethos of your society, are you surprised that the political system reflects it? A lot of people around the world look at the US and mostly see a bunch of immature adolescents. 

Transcending social forces isn’t easy. Power is always unevenly distributed, so it is always ripe for abuse, and fighting against abuses of power requires sustained effort. Therefore, it’s important to understand the many ways that power is used to oppress. I’ve spent a lot of time studying historical movements, political philosophy, and power dynamics, so my view of politics is always the long view. I believe that political progress is constant work. I don’t believe in end goals or being free to rest on your laurels. I believe history teaches us that, whatever your political allegiances, the complacent eventually become the victims. I believe that social change is relatively easy to understand by observing the way that power changes hands in society. 

Politics boils down to an endless series of change-and-backlash sequences. Whenever one group takes a significant political step, someone somewhere will lose out on some power and privilege, and they’re not going to take it lying down. Fear and anger drive the changes, and fear and anger drive the backlashes. Rinse and repeat. When the tide turns against you, it only means that it’s your turn to step up again. Fear and anger are not reasons to give up, rather, they are the wake up call that spurs the next round of changes. From conflict comes motivation.

Political power is gained through organization. The fastest way to accumulate power, especially in a democracy, is to stand together and pool your resources. But what is the motivation for organizing? Usually anger. Civil rights are never won by waiting around for the privileged to relinquish their power. No, people get together to claim their rights, DEMAND change, and MAKE the changes that they want to see, refusing to surrender to oppression. They loudly infiltrate social spaces, influence officials, run for office as representatives, and accumulate the political power to rewrite the rules. This is true whatever your political stripe. This is what conservatives have excelled at for the past thirty years in the US. 

However, as soon as you change the status quo, there will always be people that want to reverse it. It is difficult for younger people to grasp, but politics has no end, it is merely an ongoing struggle for power, as power changes hands from the complacent to the aggrieved, and then back again. For example, LGBTQ people view a right-dominated supreme court as a danger to their existence, for good reason, and that should motivate them to fight back even harder to reclaim their right to equality. Conservatives view a right-dominated supreme court as progress, and having achieved that success, they will become complacent, which provides the opening for progressives to regroup and rise again. 

The only escape from this cycle comes in the form of death or transcendence. To transcend means to see the bigger picture of what can be achieved, so that you are able to set aside the petty and work for something greater. Human beings have had their transcendent moments here and there throughout history, so they are certainly capable of it. Progress on civil rights has indeed been made over many decades, but there is always more work to do, as long as there are people that don’t view it as “progress”. For example, the fact that, after decades of tireless activism, the majority of Americans now support same-sex marriage, is something you should be building upon, rather than only focusing on the setbacks.

If you think that I’m singling out the US, I’m not. Oppression happens everywhere. It is a part of human nature to be egotistical, complacent, and short-sighted. But that’s not the only part of humans. For a democracy to work at its best, we have to appeal to the better parts of our human nature, i.e., the parts of us that: understand and care about how we affect each other, appreciate hard-won freedoms and never take them for granted, and envision a better future and plan well for it. The best changes come from passion and inspiration - not fear and anger. If you, as an individual, are not capable of bringing out and offering up your own better nature by transcending the worst parts of yourself, you can’t really expect the sociopolitical system to be capable of it, either. If you, as an individual, always lose sight of the bigger picture that you’re aiming for, then how will you help others see the importance of your cause?

Gandhi said: “We but mirror the world. All the tendencies present in the outer world are to be found in the world of our body. If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him. This is the divine mystery supreme. A wonderful thing it is and the source of our happiness. We need not wait to see what others do.”

IMO, the job of a good citizen involves: 1) caring about the broader impact that your vote has and educating yourself properly so that you make wise voting decisions, 2) exercising your power by actively participating in organizations that advocate for the changes that you want, and 3) having enough self-awareness to avoid being emotionally manipulated into making destructive political judgments. Humans aren’t perfect, but they don’t have to be to create a well-functioning society. Humans make better decisions when the social atmosphere encourages them to open up the mind and heart. We all have a part to play in creating an encouraging social atmosphere for people to deliberate more carefully on their political beliefs.

Are you an unwitting pawn of the media, rewarding the players that only care about getting your eyeballs for ad revenue? Are you only caring about political issues because you read something that incited your outrage? Are you resigned to cynicism, indifference, gloom, or paranoia? Are you all about “owning the enemy”? Are you only concerned about your own prospects in life? Are you waiting helplessly for someone to hand you what you deserve?

OR: Are you joining organizations that create positive change? Are you listening to the experiences of the people around you and understanding how their reality informs their politics? Are you doing the hard work of inspiring the people around you to be their better selves? Do you hope that everyone in your country has a chance to live their best life? Do you stand up to support people in need and work to eliminate injustice? Will you learn the best way to (re)claim what is owed to you from those that deny or oppress you?

You are only one person, so your power is limited. What are you doing to amplify your voice and extend the reach of your power? Are you dying or transcending? A democracy is only ever as strong as the people participating in it.

#politics #lgbtq #history #conflict #power #media #social media #ask

[foroneandall]

Personally i don't believe there is a thing such as "being trans" in the isolated sense like a speciffic inner trait, but view trans as something you become due to the decisions you made to cope with something (usually but not always gender dysohoria). So to me detransitioners and desisters were trans but are not right now, i don't see any actual basis for this PC popular idea of "mistaken for trans as opposed to true trans" when nobody has been able to define "true trans" anyway.

I’ll preface this with the fact that I do not identify as trans, non binary, etc. So I have no grounds to police the community or invalidate anyone’s individual experiences, nor do I want to.

That being said, I listen to a lot of accounts of people’s experience with coming to terms with being trans (not just on Tumblr, mostly podcasts and things, tumblr doesn’t really seem to be representative of the community). Nobody is going to define “true trans” because nobody wants to gatekeep and argue and police the community, but honestly I think it needs to happen at some point since it seems like being trans is more of a fad or a cute *oppressed* label.

I can definitely agree with you to some extent, some people start identifying as trans as a result of trauma, But I think that body dysmorphia is a very real thing that is critical to the experience of being trans. When you have little kids, younger than preteen/too young to really be exposed to the gender rhetoric or seemingly don’t have a real “trauma” yet, talking about or attempting to Kill themselves because they feel that their body is wrong doesn’t sit right with me and tells me that being trans can be something that you just are and isn’t always a trauma response. I also think it’s more than just kids wanting to “fit in” at that point.

That fundamental trait of dysmorphia is what separates my personal experience from someone that is trans. A lot of what I did as a kid might have been read as being a trans child if I were born now a days. For example, young kids will segregate themselves by gender on their own (I took a child psych class at some point but I forgot why that is), and I was a kid who liked sitting at the boys table. I also strongly feel that if I woke up with a penis tomorrow it wouldn’t make any difference to me other than saying “okay I’m a dude now” and move on with my life. Because my experience is different, it would be easy for me to roll my eyes and say “you’re just thinking about it wrong”, but it’s more difficult to listen to people’s experience and acknowledge that just because I don’t experience gender/sex in the same way that trans people are just misinterpreting their feelings. However, I think that forcing the rhetoric on kids that them not fitting into the “masculine/feminine” boxes means that they are trans can be detrimental to their mental health.

I also think that people who argue against trans people forget that dysmorphia isn’t always just in regards to gender and sex, but some people just have a limb that feels completely foreign to them to the point that they go to crazy lengths to get it removed (since hospitals won’t just remove a perfectly fine limb for no reason).

Sorry for being A little rambley here, but in general I think that if you’re doing something for yourself, feeling relief, and not hurting or harassing anyone in the process then you should be free to do it with no judgement and without losing people treating you with common decency.

#thanks for the anon

[philosophicusabicus]

Diaries in the Loony Bin

The Loony Bin is a group of individuals who could be called “friends”, but maybe that’s too suggestive. At any rate, this group has a diverse set of opinions on politics and sports, with voices across the political spectrum and through many sports. The intersection of politics and sports, in contemporary society, is met with disdain; however, the members of the Loony Bin seek to make it an acceptable space of discourse. Every week, when the asylum isn’t particularly chaotic (there can be no promises as to consistency of date), an entry will be posted, documenting the developments of thought and culture within these walls. Where many see lunacy as a vice, it is seen as a virtue here. The diary herein is will capture all of the voices of this group, but it will use only one narrator, striking many different chords and tones. Topics will change with rapidity, so be always on edge. Though, nothing will get too toxic, as most topics will be treated rather lightly, aiming at parody. We’re in the Loony Bin after all.

Entry #1:

Where saner minds prevail in the Loony Bin, there is the same old chatter about Brady; about how the Bucs will repeat; about the prospects of Tampa’s young roster. But, in the deeper corners of the Loony establishment, there are whispers of a new team in town — a team in the same conference which has been biding its time of late. The St. Louis R… Los Angeles Rams. This team has the defense of a Trump supporter pressed about another investigation; and they have Stafford now, who can be a completely average version of himself and still be better than Goff. They made the playoffs last year with the latter under the gun: by trusted and tried Loony bin logic, there is no world where they don’t fare better this year.

Alas, as we approach the eve of the NBA Finals, we would be remiss not to reflect on the curious outcomes of the playoffs we have just witnessed. The Suns are on the cusp of their first finals in 28 years, walking over a series of teams who were hobbled to their bones. 1st round against LAL, practically no AD. 2nd round against Denver, no Murray. 3rd round against LAC, no Kawhi.

Is anyone else seeing a curious trend here?

This is like the string of upsets that led to the election of Biden in 2020 — think Georgia, Michigan, and Arizona, among others. Speaking of Biden, nobody can say they’re overly happy with what he’s accomplished in his term so far, but then again many are still aboard the “anything is better than Trump” bandwagon. So that mass is just easy to please.

I have a story to relate. A guard patrolling the halls on a foggy evening last month overheard in a ward unit a patient on a delirious soliloquy. Ranting and raving was usual for this patient deep into the night, but this rave, this was different. “Trump’s rhetoric.. his mannerisms.. his behavior.. it is unfit for the Presidency. Nothing need be pinned on him from a legal standpoint for it to follow that he does not meet the standards of the Chief Representative of the United States. If you were to quantify the number of immoral exhibits he has demonstrated, however insignificant, they would add up to a hefty sum: a demeaning and vicious personality. A personality unfit for such a high position. If we have to pick political poison, let’s pick the lesser of the poisons.” The guard began to hear an uncorking of caps, a sloshing of potions, and a loud thump of a corpse, crashing to the floor.

There was a rampant disease going around the property, from hall to hall, greensward to greensward. Its many and various symptoms included: involuntary association with Big Tech, amnesia about mortgage loans and student debt; anxiety related to pressures of the labor and financial markets; headache and fever regarding quality of romantic life; and a strong preoccupation with taking selfies.

The Bin was in lockdown and every non-faculty member had to isolate in their respective wards. Hence, if the patients were to communicate to each other, a new way medium had to be contrived: they call it “Loonygram”.

As I understand it, though admittedly I understand it very little, one performs some kind of slippery action to facilitate the correspondence between users. From what I have gathered though, it has little chance of success without being a certified maniac. Many prefer the pleasure they derive from their own babbling monologues.

While a doctor was trying to rationalize his patient one day he got carried away on a sermon of his own: “Why the fuss over kneeling anyway? Just because some action affronts a symbol you respect, doesn’t mean the intention was to disrespect that symbol. Differentiating actions and their outcomes from intentions goes a long way out there. There was no intent to disrespect what that American symbolism; that was just a byproduct of an effort trying to gain respect for another symbol: social equality”

The patient, strapped to their chair looks helplessly up at the doctor and asks “So… that helps me in here how?”.

“Well, I suppose it doesn’t. Look, it aint all rational out there either, if you catch my drift”.

The patient scrunched his eyes circumspectly at the doctor before his attention was drawn to a fly buzzing on the adjacent wall.

These are curious times within these walls. An episode occurred on the Loony grounds one morning in which one patient wandered over to another, unprovoked, and yelled “my team is winning it all this year!”. The other patient, startled, replied “w..who is your team?” “w..what sport is this even?”

“I am at liberty to express myself; I have the first amendment behind me after all!” cried the provocative patient.

“Indeed, you do. But only where it doesn’t infringe on the freedoms of others” observed the second patient.

“And at what point is that?” jeered the first patient.

“Frankly, I’m not altogether sure. But let’s come to this decision mutually before you spam me with your raptures about the Yankees. Your favorite team is the Yankees, ya?

“How could you possibly.. know?”

“I saw you in the cafeteria last October, forking your pork chops like a feral animal; not long after Gleyber struck out for the 5th time that night either; I saw it in your eyes.”

How that altercation ended remains to be seen, since I merely borrowed it from the journal of another author, who has been missing ever since.

In other rumors, it is with great pain and sympathy that I report an exorcism which took place some time ago in the health dormitory on the fifth floor, all dust and eerie. The patient was being consumed by the demons of his loyalty to the Cowboys.

The pastor on hand, tending to his duties as exorcist, was on the verge of performing his most solemn task, when the possessed man said, as he foamed at the mouth “Elliot… Elliot”

“Excuse me? Elliot? What… Elliot’s going to be the most overrated running back in the league? I’m with you there” laughed the pastor, stuffing a hankerchief in the man’s mouth to muffle his screams.

“Dak. Dak. Dak. Back”

“Dak or not, there is a constant with the Cowboys. At the end of every regular season, they’re barely scratching playoffs.” applying the shock therapy he was taught in his vocational school.

“D..depth a..and.. youth.. a..at receiver” coughs the patient as he loses consciousness for the final time.

“Death and youth make a believer? That’s some sound philosophy my man. You’re impressionable when you’re young so that makes sense, and you live with more respect and appreciation for life as you get old and nearer to death. Truly well spoken”

“This one is one of the better cases, Mary” the doctor says as his assistant walks through the doors.

Tensions are up to a fever pitch these days. Just yesterday, two psychiatrists were shoving each other over whether the condition of the patients is binary or not.

“Their conditions are binary!? That is a very limiting way to view things. If the patient does not want to identify their condition as “sick”, and feels like they want to be labeled ‘sort of sick I suppose’, then the more power to them.”

“No, that is infeasible. If we do not have a clear threshold for their condition, then how can we administer their treatments? At what point? It would be arbitrary.”

“There is no essence of “sickness”; you can’t just define it in any terms you want, just so that it aids your goals; besides, they’re not really sick, sort of.” The insane man, lying on the bed for the entire course of the conversation, just looked blankly and confusedly at his doctors, thinking “so the stories you hear on the outside are true, these people really are Loony huh?”

Some disturbance is happening on the floor below me now, so I must close this entry and I will write another day…

#Politics. Sports. Psychology.

[hellomynameisbisexual]

5 Ways That Bi Erasure Hurts More Than Just Bisexual People

December 2, 2014 by Milo Todd

This year, Bisexual Awareness Day/Celebrate Bisexuality Day was on September 23rd.

That same day, the National LGBTQ Task Force thought it’d be a good idea to post an article entitled “Bye Bye Bi, Hello Queer,” in which leadership programs director Evangeline Weiss said “she is ready ‘to say bye bye to the word bisexuality.’

She said it does not describe her sexual orientation, and she encouraged readers to cease using the word as well as she felt it reinforced a binary concept of gender.

Let me drive that home a little more. The National LGBTQ Task Force not only thought it would be a good idea to publish an article insulting, misrepresenting, and forsaking the bisexual letter in their own name, but did so on Celebrate Bisexuality Day.

Rude.

And a fantastic example of the constant, ongoing erasure bisexual people have to deal with. This one just happened to be incredibly blatant.

What happened as a result of that article? People got pissed.

People got so pissed that the Task Force not only removed the article from their website, but posted in its place this non-apology (it keeps being referred to as an apology, but I’m not so easily pleased): “Having listened to a wide array of feedback on the timing and content, we recognize that this blog offended people. For this we sincerely apologize. It has been removed.”

In other words, “Sorry you got pissed off. Hopefully you’ll shut up if we take it down.” Which, as far as I can tell, isn’t much of an apology for a blatant disregard of an entire community of people.

Misunderstanding of the bisexual community has been the crux of biphobia’s history and the ongoing battle to erase bisexuality from the LGBTQIA+ community.

It’s a scary time to be bi, especially when your lesbian, gay, pansexual, and queer siblings and allies are calling for your blood simply because they’ve fallen victim to the mainstream agenda without realizing it. (Say what?! Jump to #5.)

It’s time for a change.

It’s time for all of us to properly understand one another and to — hope of hopes — become allies for our incredibly similar endeavors. To help initiate that friendship, I ask you, dear reader, to go through the following three steps.

Step 1: Look below. If I’ve played my cards right, virtually every reader should find at least one category with which they identify.

Step 2: Approach your designated section(s) with an open mind, an unprejudiced heart, and a desire to further enhance your own community/ies. It’s difficult for people to learn new things and see different views if they automatically approach them with resistance, which is often the case with bisexual topics.

Step 3: See how bi erasure hurts you as a person and, while you’re at it, likely hurts the people you care about. Because it really is happening.

So here are five ways in which bi erasure is hurting people of layered identities.

1. Female-Identified People and Feminists

Bisexuality is one of the only non-monosexual* identities currently recognized in the English-speaking world. If bisexuality is kept underground, it suppresses our limited, precious resources for open discussion about non-monosexuality. This hurts female-identified people and feminists regardless of their sexual orientation.

To this day, female-identified people can’t get a fair shake. Pay is unequal, birth control access is limited, and objectification is a daily thing. Non-monosexual women in particular are often not taken seriously because they’re seen as sluts, greedy, or unable to make up their minds.

Also, the general fetishizing of women is particularly intensified in the bisexual realm by (straight-identified) men, turning the very act of women’s sexual freedom, empowerment, and self-expression into nothing more than something for male gazes. (This is most often seen through the relentless prompts for female-female-male threesomes and masculine catcalls in bars when two femme-appearing women make out.)

By participating in or casually allowing bi erasure to happen, we’re ignoring the specific plights and abuses of bisexual women, thereby contributing to the ongoing problem of female inequality, objectification, and silence.

As feminists, we can’t pick and choose which women to fight for. The complexities of womanhood — and all of its cultural suppressions — are an all-or-none deal.

*Note: Non-monosexuality usually refers to someone who is interested in more than one sex or gender. (In other words, somebody who isn’t gay, lesbian, or straight.) Another way to say “non-monosexuality” would be “polysexuality” to help keep it from sounding negative.

2. Male-Identified People and Male Liberationists*

Just like with female-identified people and feminists, bi erasure hurts male-identified people and male liberationists regardless of their sexual orientation.

Allow me to make this pretty basic: Men continue to be fed the message that being gay is bad. Being gay means you’re not really a man, which means you lose your dude membership and the bulk of your male privilege. And since gayness equals the slightest shred of attraction to or intimacy with another male, all manners of bromance must be squashed.

In short, many guys live in a state of silent terror in this regard.

Bi men are afraid of being banished from the world of lady-loving, gay men are worried about losing all of their connections to hetero land, and nothing is worse for a straight man than being called a fag.

Constant monitoring, constant filtering, constant stress: Is this really the kind of world we guys want to keep living in?

By being able to talk about bisexuality — remember: one of our only non-monosexual identities — male-identified people can begin to break free from the masculine ideal.

Bi talk helps bridge the gap between being a man (straight) and not being a man (gay) and realizing, hey, having some manner of attraction to or intimate interaction with another guy is totally okay, masculinity unscathed.

Gay men can begin to regain their identities as men, bi men can finally start coming out, and “fag” will lose its strength as an insult from one straight man to another.

*Note: Male liberationists are more or less seen as allies to feminists and vice versa. Both will argue that patriarchy is bad, but while feminists talk of how it’s bad for females, male liberationists talk of how it’s bad for males. Examples include the inability to romantically or sexually love another male, the emasculation of men of color, and the physical, verbal, and mental abuse that comes from society’s expectations to be stereotypically masculine.

3. People Who Identify as Trans Sexual, Trans Gender, Genderfluid, Genderqueer, or Gender Non-Conforming

This one’s pretty easy. Some people on the trans spectrum identify as bisexual. But then they’re told they can’t or that it’s an insult to their trans siblings because bisexuality is believed to be trans-exclusive.

The problem with bi erasure is it adds to the ongoing problem of cis people — LGQ or not — telling trans people what to think. Cis people have a bad habit of thinking they need to speak for people on the trans spectrum even when trans people are quite capable of speaking for themselves. This is even more frustrating when it comes from a community supposedly meant to support them.

Despite the personhood for which they’re continuing to fight, trans people can receive backlash from the lesbian, gay, and queer communities as their identities and bodies are turned into political battlegrounds.

Sometimes, they’re used without consent by some cis individuals so that points can be made for non-trans-specific agendas, and sometimes they’re ironically used in the attempts for cis identities to help better the trans worlds.

For instance, automatically dismissing bisexuality as trans-exclusive and guilting any person on the trans spectrum that wants to identity as bisexual, if I may make so fine a point.

As blogger Aud Traher writes, “If you want to support trans people like me, don’t erase me or speak over me or cause me harm out of self-righteous biphobia. Look into yourself and deal with that internalized biphobia and then help others get over theirs. Don’t advocate for the destruction of a community in the name of ‘saving’ it. And, especially, don’t do it in my name.”

4. People Who Identify as Gay, Lesbian, or — Yes — Straight

Quite simply, it makes gays and lesbians (and straight people) look bad, too.

Bisexual people get a bad rap for apparently upholding the gender binary by saying they love only (cis) men or (cis) women, but isn’t that pretty much exactly what gays, lesbians, and straight people are saying when they identify as gay, lesbian, or straight? That they’ll only love either (cis) men or (cis) women?

But where’s their rampant backlash from the rest of the community for upholding the gender binary? I’m just sayin’.

Even when these groups extend their definitions to include trans people and people on the gender non-conforming spectrum, it’s often still as long as those trans people exhibit some manner of gender representation that falls into the lover’s category of desire.

Now, I’m honestly not trying to rag on gays, lesbians, or even straight people. They have as much right to identify how they want as anybody else. And there’s nothing wrong with feeling primarily attracted to only, say, cis or trans men if your brain simply tells you that you only like guys. That’s fine. Go ahead and do that. I’m not saying you can’t.

What I am saying is you can’t be spewing bi hate or letting bi erasure slide because 1) it’s incredibly one-sided and unfair, and 2) in the end, it’s making you look bad, too.

What do you think will happen if bi erasure is a success? You’ll be next, dears.

*cue Jaws theme*

5. People Who Identify as Queer, Pansexual, or Another Fellow Non-Monosexual

In late October, Lizzy the Lezzy — who I quite enjoy, by the way — shared a photo on her Facebook timeline explaining sexuality in terms of guests at a BBQ.

This would be all well and good if it didn’t include a glaring misconception about bisexual people, especially when compared to pansexuals. While bisexual people were defined as getting both hot dogs and hamburgers, pansexuals were defined as getting hot dogs, hamburgers, “and a salad.” Oops. What year is this again?

I’m going to make something very plain to you, dear reader: Bisexual people don’t just love (cis) men or (cis) women. That’s not how the ballpark definition goes. The “bi” in “bisexual” does not indicate a binary. Well, okay, it does indicate a binary, but probably not the one you think.

Instead of “bi” meaning a love for only cis men or cis women or otherwise putting men and women at two opposite ends of a spectrum, “bi” means a love for identities bisexual people identify with themselves and identities that they don’t.

Or, as the popular Robyn Ochs definition goes: “I call myself bisexual because I acknowledge that I have in myself the potential to be attracted – romantically and/or sexually – to people of more than one sex and/or gender, not necessarily at the same time, not necessarily in the same way, and not necessarily to the same degree.”

Look at that very closely. That’s still a binary. That’s still “bi.” And there isn’t a thing wrong with it, no exclusion to be seen.

When compared with the general concepts of pansexuals and queers, our orientations suddenly sound pretty darn similar: We love everyone.

Bisexual people get a bad rap for apparently being transphobic. While we’ve already seen a little bit in #3 as to why we aren’t, I want to further drive the point home here. A large portion of the transphobic accusations toward us come from the queer and pansexual communities, which in turn seem to derive from some serious misinformation and misdirection by the mainstream.

For the record, queers and pansexuals are cool. I like them. But the fact of the matter is that the misconception of the “bi” in “bisexual” as meaning an attraction to only (cis) men or (cis) women — and therefore upholding the gender binary — was created and imposed upon bisexual people by the mainstream. You know, the people that want the gender binary to stick around.

And some queers and pansexuals ate the propaganda they were fed? That’s terrifying. It starts to show just how large and sneaky the mainstream’s gender binary monster truly is.

By defining and erasing bisexuality on the grounds that it upholds the gender binary, pansexuals and queers are not only reinforcing the binary they so sorely wish to dismantle, but they are losing important focus on where the problem actually resides: the mainstream’s insistence to force the gender binary on non-mainstream groups such as bisexual people.

Further, holding bisexual people responsible for the abuse they’ve suffered is simply wrong. All that’s doing is blaming the victim. But, by recognizing and respecting bisexual people as they truly are, bisexual people can not only help dismantle the gender binary and put a new definition on the concept of the spectrum, but finally be allowed to team up with pansexuals and queers to crush mainstream abuse on non-mainstream identities.

Doesn’t that sound nice? I think it sounds nice.

TL;DR

Dear non-bisexual identities, please stop shooting yourselves in the foot and then wondering why you’re missing toes.

We’re here for the same reasons you are: for the right to love whoever we want and for the right for others to do the same.

So let’s finally be friends. We’re never going to get anything done if we keep spending our time putting each other down.

#bisexuality #lgbtq community #bi #lgbtq #support bisexuality #bisexuality is valid #lgbtq pride #pride #bi pride #bi tumblr #bi erasure #bisexual love #bisexual male #bisexual education #bisexual youth #bisexual nation #lgbt+ community #bisexual community #lgbt education #respect bisexuality #support bisexual people

[shanethvarosa]

Music Review: 2020

My blog has been a lot of things over the years, but it did originate as something I used to publicly review music; especially in the Visual Kei scene. Since I began the blog so many years ago, I had actually been hired to review Visual Kei and J-Rock music for an actual website: VKH-Press.com, work I am very, very proud of to this day. However, with not much news to comment on or work to critique, I haven’t been as active. Plus, personal issues always seem to stand in my way. However, I always take the time to discuss my passions at the end of the year. There were so many incredible releases, despite the COVID-19 pandemic, and so I wanted to take the time time to discuss my favorite releases and, maybe, the not-so-favorites as well. Quick shout out to Bastille’s Goosebumps EP and Megan Thee Stallion’s Good News LP as I did not get to listen to them before I wrote up my lists, but were still excellent releases. See my thoughts below! 

Overall, there were about 75 albums or groupings of albums I listened to this year and split them between various tiers. Starting with the bad tier, there were actually only ten albums listed here and mostly just because they were seemingly unnecessary collection albums. For example, another Satsuki collection? Rides in ReVellion releasing two greatest hits LPs after only five years of work? Beyonce releasing The Lion King: The Gift again? None of those felt like necessary releases. There weren’t many albums that really screamed bad to me this year, but I really could not stand Vanessa Carlton’s “Love is an Art” or Justin Bieber’s “Changes.” The only other albums on this tier were just underwhelming compared to what I know the artist is capable of, but the “best bad tier album,” in my view, was The 1975′s “Notes on a Conditional Form.” 

The mid-tier albums had all sorts of reasons for being only mid-tier. They weren’t quite bad or outright unnecessary, but are mostly by artists who put out work that was nowhere near the caliber of their usual work or were re-releases or other collection albums. For example, Tove Lo’s “Sunshine Kitty: Pawprint Edition” or Man With A Mission’s remixes/b-sides/covers albums. Nice to have with good quality music, but I wish we’d just have had brand new EPs or LPs. 

The good-tier albums were all really excellent releases, but didn’t hit home the way anything on the “God-Tier” list did. Here, I’d like to share a quick top ten: 

10. Taeyeon’s “Purpose: Repackage” & Japanese EP, “#GirlsSpkOut” 9. Charli XCX’s “How I’m Feeling Now” 8. Miyavi’s “Holy Nights” & “Holy Nights: 2020 Lockdown” 7. TK’s “Sainou” 6. PVRIS’s “Use Me” 5. Buck-Tick’s “Abracadabra” 4. Katy Perry’s “Smile” 3. Alicia Keys’ “Alicia” 2. Dua Lipa’s “Future Nostalgia” & “Club Future Nostalgia” 1. Ava Max’s “Heaven & Hell

Without furhter ado, though, the God Tier Top 25: 

25. Acme’s We Are Visual Kei: Essentially a collection album of several songs that were b-sides that never made a full-blown album. This LP was loaded with some of Acme’s best work and shows that they are going to be here for a long time, despite Div not quite working out. Recommended tracks: Mononoke Requiem, Gekiyama Celluloid, Houkago no Shiiku 

24. Alanis Morisette’s Such Pretty Forks in the Road: Admittedly, a huge fan in the 90′s and loved her cover of Seal’s Crazy. However, before this album I didn’t really listen to much of her body of work and I can see why today’s youth might not listen to this album. It is very “adult” insofar as it deals with her struggles in marriage, parenting, religion, etc. Her vocal performance is exceptional and her song writing remains some of the best in the business. Recommended tracks: Smiling, Nemesis, Reasons I Drink. 

23. Niall Horan’s Heartbreak Weather: Not my usual cup of tea, but for some reason Niall’s music makes me feel softer than normal. He’s very cute and charming and his words are always so romantic. It feels more genuine than the music made by other members of One Direction and kind-of reminds me of earlier Taylor Swift writing, but from a male perspective. Recommended Tracks: Put A Little Love On Me, Arms of a Stranger, Still. 

22. K/DA’s All Out: I don’t even really understand what this is, but I love it. There’s something to do with League of Legends? Cartoons? International pop stars? Whatever it is, I’m totally obsessed. These songs just completely slap. Recommended Tracks: The Baddest, More, Drum Go Dum. 

21. Darrell’s Brilliant Death: This might even “officially” be a single, but there’s enough content to market it as an album. Darrell is a band formed from the ashes of Deathgaze and Ai’s solo project. Who knows why Ai didn’t just continue after his solo album, Confusion, but he decided to go back to the band-format with confusingly-named Darrell. This album is then, incidentally, mostly Deathgaze covers. It brings the production into the new era and gives you a lot of nostalgic love for old hits. Recommended Tracks: Brilliant Death, Evoke the World, Abyss. 

20. Alice Nine’s Fuyajou Eden & Kuro to Wonderland: Neither album was particularly long, in fact these were glorified EPs that could’ve been merged to one two-sided LP, but in either case... Both albums had something really special to offer and felt like a true comeback after years of name changes and finally going back to their original, kanji-styled name. Recommended Tracks: Kakumei Kaika -Revolutionary Blooming-, Testament, Replica, Glow. 

19. Mucc’s Aku: This album felt very long in the making after a series of weird singles that didn’t feel like they were going anywhere. Ultimately, a lot of those singles did not make the album including my favorite one: Taboo. The resulting album, though, did feel very cohesive and thematic and even featured one of this year’s heavy hitters: Hazuki. Recommended Tracks: Aku -Justice-, Memai, Ameria. 

18. Miley Cyrus’s Plastic Hearts: This person is absolutely one of my favorite people in music. I’m pretty sure they have comeout as genderfluid/non-binary, so I want to stick with safe pronouns, just in case. However, they’ve always been a favorite and as they’ve come out as such a champion for the LGBT, I love them even more. The album though gave me a lot of hype for something very 80′s rock, but didn’t quite give me what I expected. All in all, the music was fantastic, just a little off-beat from expectations. Recommended Tracks: Gimme What I Want, Angels Like You, WTF Do I Know. 

17. Rina Sawayama’s Sawayama: I didn’t expect to fall in love with this girl the way I did. My boyfriend recommended “STFU” to me as kind of a joke because the song discusses a lot of Asian racism that I’m always criticizing people in my life for falling into, but then the song was so bad ass I checked out the album. There were so many different types of music on it and she really did a good job with all of them. Then, with the deluxe edition coming out and the hardcore club banger “Lucid” being involved... Just really brought it all home. Recommended Tracks: Tokyo Love Hotel, Lucid, Fuck This World. 

16. Amber Liu’s X: This was just an EP, but every song on it was great. Amber Liu was from f(x), a K-Pop Icon Group, but she always seemed like the odd one out. She was such a tomboy, so silly and funny all the time, and didn’t really behave like other Korean idols. I mean, really, she isn’t actually even Korean. I believe she’s Chinese American. In either case, the EP really noted some of her own personal strugles in the business and also remaining pretty fun at parts too. I saw her live in Philly before COVID-19 and she was truly excellent. Recommended Tracks: Numb, Stay Calm, Other People. 

15. Blackpink’s The Album: Not much of an album at only 8 tracks, but that’s K-Pop for you. I bet next year I’ll be putting “Blackpink’s The Album: Repackage” on my top 25 list. The quality of the music was pretty dope though, all things considered. It was a very solid debut effort with all of their previous songs being somewhere in the same lane as this one. I still kind of believe they are a reminder of what 2NE1 could have been, but they’re doing well enough on their own. Recommended Tracks: Ice Cream, Lovesick Girls, Pretty Savage. 

14. Hazuki’s Year Over All: Kind of a weird way to word it, but Hazuki basically released two albums this year in different formats. His work with his band, Lynch., was pretty magnificent. I’m not one to usually dwell on a Lynch. album. Their singles or featured tracks are what I usually get into, but the actual album (Ultima) really did a good job of showing how versatile Hazuki can be. His solo album, Souen -Funeral-, was an entirely stripped down, gothic orchestral album of Lynch. covers and other J-Hard Rock artists. Hearing it done like this was almost transcendental. Recommended Tracks: Xero, Idol, Ray, D.A.R.K. 

13. Sam Smith’s Love Goes: They had me scared that their album wasn’t coming this year once they pushed it back, back in May. Then again, at the time, an album called “To Die For” was probably super tone deaf. In any case, literally every single released for this album had me in love. So, when they all got included in the final version, I was thrilled. Sam gave us a bonus song after the album as well, but I can see why that one didn’t get on. In any case, this is a huge step up from “The Thrill of it All,” which I didn’t really care for. Recommended Tracks: Another One, Dance (’Til You Love Someone Else), Forgive Myself. 

12. Troye Sivan’s In A Dream: I love this kid. He’s so gay and so not shy about it and it really makes me smile. The EP comes after his last LP, Bloom, where the title track basically talks about bottoming for the first time and this new EP deals with a few other queer issues over weirdly produced beats that just... make sense. Recommended tracks: Stud, In A Dream, Easy. 

11. Matenrou Opera’s Chronos: Unfortunately, this band just lost their guitarist again. Their original, Anzi, was basically the most consummate guitarist in the visual kei scene that wasn’t Hizaki and he left them. Their sound wasn’t quite right since and they seemed to just get it back with Chronos when Jay left them. I guess we’ll see what they do next, but I think Chronos could be their last great release. Recommended Tracks: Chronos, Silence, Reminiscence. 

10. BoA’s Better: A very recent release that hasn’t had much time for me to digest. This is strange for me to put it so high on my list for that reason, but BoA is one of my all time favorites. She never disappoints me. This album was no different. It wasn’t exactly up to par with “Woman” or “Watashi Kono Mama de Ii no Kana,” but it definitely gave us some new and very iconic Queen BoA bangers. Recommended Tracks: Cut Me Off, Start Over, Temptations. 

9. Kesha’s High Road: A semi-step down from Rainbow, only because a lot of the same melodic elements and, sometimes, even beats were used on this album too. However, her vocal performance was outstanding and she even gave us a new dirty-pop song with some interesting indie-pop tracks to go with it. Plus, who doesn’t love a Big Freedia feature? Recommended Tracks: Resentment, Raising Hell, Tonight. 

8. Lady Gaga’s Chromatica: Anyone who knows me knows I don’t really love Gaga anymore. After all the drama with Madonna and her experimentation with “Joanne” I didn’t think I’d ever like her music again. However, she definitely won back big points for me on Chromatica. It was finally fun, weird, dancey, and then simultaneously emotional and I was really able to get back into it. She’s always had the voice, but on this one it also showed us that she still has what made us love her. Recommended Tracks: Rain On Me, Plastic Doll, Enigma. 

7. Koda Kumi’s My Name Is... Angel + Monster: She is, very likely, my Japanese Pop Queen. She always makes these absolutely outlandish bangers of dance tracks that have such a great attitude and beat and when she released re(CORD)... last year? 2018? Who can remember... I thought she could never outdo herself. Then she released “Lucky Star” and I was floored. I was a bit disappointed when they were only to promote a “My Name Is...” collection album, but then, to my surprise, a full set of new tracks came out just after that just blew me entirely away. Guess the last 6 albums must be pretty great, huh? Recommended tracks: Killer Monster, Work It!, Alarm. 

6. Grimes’ Miss Anthropocene: I’ve never been a big fan of Grimes, but when Violence came out I was really looking forward to whatever album this was going to end up promoting. The song is actual fire, but then the LP ended up being some kind of experimental Gothic Pop with Asian Pop influences I never expected. I doubt I’ll ever find something she does this good ever again, but it was really a musical light in the darkness of this year. Recommended tracks: Darkseid, Delete Forever, Violence. 

5. Kylie Minogue’s Disco: Admittedly, my draw to Kylie has always been that she is like some kind of Australian Madonna. Madonna being one of my all time favorite artists... In fact, number 2 for all women I listen to, Kylie has some big shoes to fill with her sometimes generic pop that she puts out. However, I haven’t really truly loved a Kylie song since “Get Outta My Way” and then this album comes out filled with tracks to love for the rest of time. Recommended Tracks: Miss A Thing, Till You Love Somebody, Magic. 

4. Chanmina’s Notebook/Angel: I don’t have really any way of knowing how popular Chanmina is in Japan or if she is as popular in the Japanese Queer Scene as she should be, but god damn does she know what she’s doing. Her music is raunchy, bitchy, and condescending at it’s highest and deeply personal at it’s most mellow. There is no “lowest.” “Notebook” was a two-sided album and “Angel” a strong follow up EP, but all the recommended tracks are from “Notebook.” If you have not listened to “Picky”.... go do it now, I’ll wait. Recommended tracks: Picky, Baby, Lucy. 

3. The Weeknd’s After Hours: Incidentally, I got into The Weeknd after someone said something shitty about him here on Tumblr! I took their likely-valid criticism and went to check him out for myself and I gotta say, I love his work. The beats are literally always on point and his voice is like silk. This album provided more than a few iconic songs and I always can’t wait to see what he does next. Recommended Tracks: Alone Again, Heartless, Blinding Lights. 

2. Halsey’s Manic: The singles and features she did between Hopeless Fountain Kingdom and Manic gave me such insanely high hopes and I was not disappointed. HFK was a strong album of course, but this was near perfection for me. I think the production of this alt-pop album was the star of the show because it wasn’t all one way, there were heavy-bass songs, interesting piano riffs, striaght up punk rock, all of it. She really made an album quite like it’s namesake. Recommended Tracks: Ashley, Killing Boys, Still Learning. 

1. Dexcore’s Metempsychosis: A newcomer to the visual kei and death metal scene, they’ve been putting out single after single for years in preparation for their extemeley long and multidaceted debut album. With a total of about 33 songs, the entire second disc was rerecorded singles from their early days and some even got new lyrical treatment. The main series of songs were, of course, also totally flooring and all of the recommended tracks are the new ones. If you haven’t checked them out by now, you have to! Recommended tracks: Cibus, Scribble, Period.

#personal #music #2020 #visual kei #k-pop #dexcore #halsey #the weeknd #chanmina #kylie minogue #grimes #koda kumi #lady gaga #kesha #BoA

[mediaeval-muse]

Book Review

The Wolf in the Whale. By Jordanna Max Brodsky. New York: Redhook, 2019.

Rating: 3.5/5 stars

Genre: historical fiction, magical realism

Part of a Series? No

Summary: A sweeping tale of clashing cultures, warring gods, and forbidden love: In 1000 AD, a young Inuit shaman and a Viking warrior become unwilling allies as war breaks out between their peoples and their gods-one that will determine the fate of them all. "There is a very old story, rarely told, of a wolf that runs into the ocean and becomes a whale." Born with the soul of a hunter and the spirit of the Wolf, Omat is destined to follow in her grandfather's footsteps-invoking the spirits of the land, sea, and sky to protect her people. But the gods have stopped listening and Omat's family is starving. Alone at the edge of the world, hope is all they have left. Desperate to save them, Omat journeys across the icy wastes, fighting for survival with every step. When she meets a Viking warrior and his strange new gods, they set in motion a conflict that could shatter her world...or save it.

***Full review under the cut.***

***Mild spoilers in the plot section.***

Content/Trigger Warnings: rape, sexual assault, racism, misogyny, blood, violence, infanticide, slavery

Overview: I’m not an expert on Inuit culture, so if there are any Inuit, Indigenous, or scholarly reviewers out there who can speak more about the representation in this book, I highly recommend listening to them over me. (I am, however, a medievalist, so I can speak to the Norse elements in this book, if desired.)

The Wolf in the Whale is the kind of book that I have wanted for years; one that pushes back against the colonial gaze and gives us a perspective on Vikings from a non-European point of view. Unfortunately, I’m not entirely sure if this book did that for me. Brodsky (from her own research note) is not Inuit herself, though she does detail her research process and seems knowledgeable about some aspects of Inuit culture. Combined with some storytelling elements that she included in her tale (such as rape and misogyny), I feel somewhat conflicted about how to rate this book, even as I appreciate what it was trying to do. I think for me, personally, The Wolf in the Whale didn’t do as much interrogation into gender identity as it could have, nor do I think making Inuit spirituality/religion fit into Norse mythology entirely rejects a colonial point of view. I did, however, appreciate the premise and the writing, so I’m giving this book a 3.5 star rating.

Writing: Brodsky’s prose is very literary in tone, and I thought that Brodsky wrote with an easy balance between telling and showing. She uses neither flowery language nor sparse descriptions, and it was easy to visualize what was going on without feeling like everything was being spoon-fed to me. I also think the sentences flowed well and the pace was generally appropriate, and I found it easy to keep reading, even though this book was around 500 pages long.

This book is, however, written in first person, which I personally don’t care for because first person can make some descriptions seem awkward. Brodsky manages to sidestep a lot of awkwardness by using a more literary style, reigning in some emotion to make it feel as if the POV character is retelling their story from a future, detached kind of mental state. So props to her for that.

Plot: The Wolf in the Whale follows Omat, an Inuit girl who is raised as a boy, as they struggle to ensure their family’s survival. Over the course of the novel, Omat encounters food shortages, divine conflicts, and strangers (including other Inuit, Indigenous peoples, and Norsemen), and the majority of the latter half of the book is spent following Omat as they search for their cousin, Kiasik, who has been kidnapped by Norsemen.

In general, I think the structure of the plot worked well. Brodsky divides her book into sections that reflect different conflicts in Omat’s life, and I think the events unfolded in a logical way. I also really enjoyed the valuation of stories (especially when Omat and Brandr, a Viking, bond over storytelling) and the magical realism that gave Omat a connection to the spirit world. I furthermore appreciated that Omat’s story was one of Inuit contact with Vikings; as a medievalist, I’ve studied sagas that this book is loosely based on, and I appreciate the fact that Brodsky represented the Vikings not as heroic explorers, but colonizers and slavers.

I did not, however, enjoy the fact that so much of this book seemed to revolve around misogyny, and I got a weird sense that even though Omat is our POV character, Norse mythology seemed to take center stage when the Vikings showed up. First, the misogyny: I can’t speak to the accuracy of the Inuit stories about their gods and goddesses, nor can I say for certain if Inuit peoples have strict prohibitions against women doing men’s work and vice versa; thus, I can’t say whether the numerous stories about rape or the taboos that Omat is punished for violating are accurate or exaggerated. However, I think I can say that Omat needed to have a much more defined personal journey that didn’t revolve around her disdaining women’s work or being sexually assaulted. As a girl raised as a boy, Omat is incredibly anxious about being perceived as a hunter and a man - to the point where they express a lot of disgust or shame at being seen wearing women’s clothes or doing women’s work. I think there’s a way to explore Omat’s gender anxiety without denigrating the role women play in Inuit culture, as without women’s work, everyone would die. To be fair, Omat does learn to appreciate women’s roles over time, but I think that process needed to be more gradual and punctuated with plot points where a woman’s skill or knowledge proved to be valuable.

I also do not think there needed to be so much sexual assault (or threat of sexual assault). While I do think Brodsky showed Omat to be affected by her rape, and there’s a nice moment towards the end where Omat addresses all the rape that their goddesses have endured in their stories, I also think the constant threat of sexual assault was a little much. Again, I can’t speak to whether Inuit culture expects women to essentially be sexually available for their husbands at all times and able to be “loaned out” to other men, but I think I can say that as a female reader, I was tired of Omat being threatened to be raped all the time, by Inuit and Viking alike. I would have preferred that Omat come to view their stories in a new light after their assault, and that Omat form bonds with other women who straddle the line between male and female (such as Freydis and Loki, despite their antagonism) in order to grow as a person without a concrete binary gender identity.

Now for the Norse mythology stuff.

***HERE BE SPOILERS.***

While I did like the magical realism that made Omat’s spirituality feel real, I think actually speaking to Norse gods themselves pushed this book from historical fiction to fantasy for me in a way that felt jarring. Also, I think that Brodsky put a little too much value on Norse mythology to the point where it became validated over Inuit spirituality towards the end. To explain: Omat learns in the book that Inuit gods are actually the Frost Giants from Norse culture, and while I get that Brodsky was trying to make all religions fit into one cosmic system, it felt like she wasn’t so much rejecting colonialism as much as she was imposing it. I didn’t like the fact that Inuit gods being Frost Giants meant that Norse myths are real and Inuits have to fit into Norse cosmology, not the other way around. Moreover, Omat is responsible for bringing about Ragnarok, which means that the big mythological battle is between Inuit and Norse gods. While all the gods are reborn, so to speak, after the battle, only the Norse ones speak to Omat, which felt a little unfair.

Characters: Omat, our POV protagonist, is a compelling character in that they have interesting strengths, flaws, and personal challenges. As a girl raised as a boy, Omat struggles to find an accepted identity within their culture, while also getting in trouble for pride (especially when they try to “prove” that they are a man). I liked that Omat was so interested in stories and connected so strongly with the spirit world, and I found their courage to be admirable. I did have some problems with Omat’s utter shame at all things feminine; as mentioned above, I think the acceptance of women’s work and a female body could have been a good character arc, but I think everything was too mired in misogyny to be powerful.

Brandr, a Viking and Omat’s ally-turned-lover, was admirable in that he rejected a lot of the violence of Norse culture and learned to see Omat as a capable, formidable leader. It was a little strange to me, however, that Brandr seemed to offer Omat what their people could not: acceptance of their gender-fluidity. It seemed like almost a critique of Inuit society, though to be fair, Norse people also expressed a lot of misogyny and homophobia in this book. I hated the fact that Brandr was revealed to have raped 3 women prior to meeting Omat, and while it’s good that Brandr realizes how wrong he was to do that (even though his culture told him that it was expected of a Viking), I think he got off far too easy.

Supporting characters were interesting in that they were heavily flawed. Kiasik, Omat’s cousin, struggles with his affection for Omat and his envy of them, leading him to make some decisions that open a rift between the two. Freydis, the legendary leader of the Viking expedition, is determined and harsh, which is fine since she is a major antagonist, but I would have preferred more commentary on gender roles when Omat saw her inhabiting male and female roles. Various Inuit characters were also interesting, such as Omat’s grandfather and adoptive mother, who support Omat in their personal journey. Issuk and his family were hard to like, since Issuk is a braggart and a rapist and his band does little to stick up for Omat.

TL;DR: The Wolf in the Whale has an exciting premise and does well with its magical realism. Moreover, it is well written and clearly has good intentions; however, misogyny and Euro-centric/colonial biases still creep up and detract from the valuation of the main character’s Inuit culture.

#book reviews

[odaatlover]

well my dad kind of defended himself saying “i have a daughter who was an athlete blah blah” which is true bc i was a swimmer for close to 10 years and swam all through high school both on the high school team itself and on another USA team, so literally all year round. he was like “i’m pissed for these other parents as i was a parent of a competitive female athlete” he has also said bullshit about trans individuals using bathrooms and i showed him actual proof and articles etc that that doesn’t happen and he was like nah. but it also confuses me bc i know he would love me and (hopefully) eventually accept me if i was trans and he is accepting of me being queer and has said multiple times he wouldn’t be upset if i brought a non binary/trans friend home. although actions do speak louder than words. i love my dad but sometimes he says shit like this and it just really upsets bc it’s just so wrong and misinformed and very judgmental. like i said i hear about conservative views and agendas all the time since i live at home and that’s literally all i hear especially since my family is all conservative, especially the family i see when i visit my grandfather and i see him often. next time this comes up (and if most definitely will come up again) i’ll be sure to use some of your points that i hadn’t thought of!

I definitely get how frustrating it is to have to constantly listen to conservative views as I too come from a conservative family. I actually had to cut them off because of it — extended family a few years ago and parents about a month ago. But it was necessary for me because I wasn’t being respected and couldn’t continue to be around people like that for the sake of my mental and emotional well-being.

Sounds like your dad has good intentions and wants to be on the right side of things, and he genuinely believes that he is. It’s just ignorance. Like I said, conservatives make compelling arguments that are easy to believe, and I’m sure he doesn’t know any trans people and therefore doesn’t understand it, so why wouldn’t he believe what the conservatives are saying? Based on his experiences — and lack of experience with trans people — what they say about us makes sense to him. But I’m sure if he knew someone who was trans, someone close to him that he genuinely cared for, then he would see that we’re not scary people who want to ruin the world, but rather human beings just like everyone else who want to do things other people get to do. We just want to live happy lives without discrimination, that’s it. Never stop teaching him, because you could be the person to one day open his eyes! I know the conversations can be uncomfortable, but it is incredibly appreciated. It may seem like a small thing to you but having those conversations and speaking up on behalf of the trans community makes a huge difference ❤️

#asks

[butt-lore]

Here’s something that will prolly make you sad.

Paring: PCY x Black non binary/ambiguous OC (I’m telling you that cuz I don’t know if there will be more chapters n it’s first person)

Words: 12905

Warnings: past abuse/abused/trauma mention, semi graphic (one detail). Pcy is NOT the antagonist/perpertrator!!!!

Rating: Loose fluff, loose hurt/comfort, building a relationship, soulmates sorta.

He’s been doing it all day. In between bites of the expensive dinner he insisted on, while sitting idly in traffic, while walking on the street (my hand in his coat pocket of course), everywhere we went his eyes would lazily drag across the ground or table to watch me. Never did he mean malice, I don’t think, as unnerving as it was Chanyeol appeared amused. The longer the night got the more sideshow I felt to the pleasant evening, from the private viewing of a quickly rising artist, to the picnic lunch complimented by an expansive garden, and especially at dinner, a (again) private room that overlooked the Yellow Sea. He claims he enjoys looking at me, I take him at face value. But now…

It’s not a kiss that increases my pulse, but he does kiss me in the middle of me talking. It wasn’t anything grand, just my favorite flower, which he asked for. I was caught off guard, wide-eyed, alarmed to say the least. It’s not a spectacular “soulmates meant to be'' kiss, yet I can’t call it unwelcomed. As slowly as he took his time to motion The Kiss I could have backed away. Soft as Chanyeol gently cupped each check in his large palms offset the chilly January breeze, as gentle as he leaned into my lips rather than pull me closer. Everything about The Kiss was right, the timing odd, but if this were “The One,” wouldn’t the earthquake beneath me or stars shatter from the sky? No rush of blood comes when he backs away, no fireworks form in my throat, I’m left speechless in a secluded cabin on a mountain very very very far from home. Danger doesn’t bang on pots and pans, anxiety refuses to acknowledge my behavior as any type of red flag, my body acts feels quite heavy as my head crumbles into his expectant hands. It’s so quiet in the woods.

Chanyeol’s brown eyes seemed concerned at my response— or rather the non response as an answer. We never break eye contact, even as my lungs impatiently pull air back into my chest. I need to think quickly, tell him whatever wouldn’t discourage his feelings, reassure him I just have no idea how to process the situation. Then he says something dumb— because they always say something dumb.

“It’s just..” the rapper is first to break eye contact, measuring his words with each drum of a finger against respective cheeks. “When we first spoke I thought to myself, ‘this person has the prettiest lips I’ve ever seen,’ I’ve been thinking that.” I’m not immediately offended, it’s not a compliment I’m new to, it just irritated the fuck out of me. “But just now, when you were speaking, the way you said flower was really pretty and I interrupted you, so I’m sorry for that.” I don’t process what he said immediately, so he goes on, still refusing to look me in the eye. “And when I kissed you just now I thought to myself, ‘I can’t date a person who makes me want to kiss them because they said flower’.”

Absurd. Near laughable. I knock his arms to the side to get his attention, head snapping back down towards me. “You bring me millions of miles from home, make me uncomfortable all day, interrupt me while I’m answering your question just because I have pretty lips?” Yes, the whole ordeal is hard to contain, I want to bark into fits of laughter. If it weren’t for the aggravated look he threw at me moments after my abrupt movements… I go the direct path, keeping my tone light and even, I hope I soften my eyes enough that shock has faded, even if I was still unsure what to do now.

“Yes.” I stay silent, perhaps there’s more to the story. Maybe I’m so funny I split his sides when we’re texting, a slight chance I make the best pork katsu he’s ever had, that my company was so enjoyable he took me to a cabin in the middle of the woods where no one can hear my screams no matter how loud they bounce off the walls. The warning bells I didn’t feel before punch me in the gut and I’m attentive to each move he makes now. Tiny ticks in his fingers, the frown, how he backed away.

When his rich baritone goes unspoken, I stay friendly. “Okay.” I look around the cabin unassuming, the fireplace surely has a stick or two, the kitchen isn’t far but his legs are longer than mine. I can’t drive in the snow either. Did I ever tell him that?

Chanyeol sighs, walking away from me entirely to sit on the couch. “I thought you would like it.” He sounded upset. I stay where I am by the dining table close to the entrance of the home. “Would you have preferred the city? Or a city abroad?” I inch a little further away. Small movements. “You said you hated busy places so I figured a cabin would be fun, we could go skiing or something, but I see I should have asked.”

Blinking back the alarm bells, I managed a small giggle. “I like it.” Which is the truth, this is my idea of a nice vacation. But I met Chanyeol a week ago. He’s yet to make me uncomfortable like he has today, however. “I just didn’t expect you to kiss me is all. Or for that to be the only reason you brought me here.”

The way his head jerks causes all the strands he so carefully tied into an incredibly messy bun to fall suspiciously around his face. I’m not frightened, his eyes are wide and lips parting and closing like he can’t believe what he’s hearing. “Just? Just? Well that’s just stupid, Rolo.” I’m not sure where I've offended him but I need to leave. “We just met a week ago. Do you think this is the norm for me? That I throw money around for people I barely even know just because they have pretty lips. I told you I thought that when we met. Would you like to know what I think now?”

I’m almost too afraid to nod, I expect him to yell, throw something, force me into submission. It’s irrational, because I don’t know this man, I’ve never spent an extensive amount of time with him alone, I know what I’ve seen and heard on television, there’s no logical explanation to my fear, but it takes me to my knees figuratively, and I’m almost audibly whimpering. Whatever he wants a soft, comforting voice whispers, you can get out alive if you do whatever he wants. I think he wants me to answer yes, so I answer yes. Dry and my throat is, he hears me.

Rising to his feet and placing his eyes back on me, this time with annoyance, Chanyeol puts his hand out. The gesture means nothing to me, was he calling me over or asking me to come over? Did he want my hand? There are too many wrong answers in these situations. I go to walk over but he puts his hand palm up, stopping me before I start. “I’m asking to approach you.” He does the gesture again, this time it clicks. He is gesturing towards me, asking respectfully without words if he can come over. I nod. He inspects me again before approaching, now holding out his hand for mine. “I have made you uncomfortable. All day?” Chanyeol is away from me, watching from outside his body as it attempts awkward contact with mine. “I was watching because you fascinate me.” I keep my arms rooted at my side, if I could wrap them around my person, comfort myself, or disappear into myself, I would.

As best as a tall and broad man can, Chanyeol shrinks himself before me, kneeling on his left knee before falling to the other. It’s a display, a situation I’ve never seen or been in before. Was he apologizing? “Oh, it’s okay-“

Chanyeol hangs his head gently, a chuckle on his lips. “Ro, hear me when I say my intention was only to learn you. What you like. How you do things. What makes you smile most and what turns your face up in that cute scrunched up almost piggy-like pout. I can’t help it, forgive me. You entrance me.” My head is spinning… maybe the room was spinning— the next thing I know I’m sitting on the bouncy and my date is kneeling by my lap, hands to himself. “May I ask you something before I tell you my answer?”

I know what he’s going to ask. It’s not the first time. I’m so used to these situations I had given up on dating entirely. The pity in their eyes after you tell them about the Trauma, about the pain. I’m no longer an individual but rather something fragile, almost childlike; someone to easily be manipulated. I can’t say I am ‘easy’ but I’m swayed if convinced enough. So eager to please. Even if I was healing, this was exhausting.

“Yes. All the time in fact. So often I had to get a socket reconstructed.” Chanyeol is slow to process my words. I should have waited for the question. “That’s why I’m nervous. I have no reason to be but I am. It’s been a long time since I’ve been alone with a man.”

“Why’d you come?” When I look down, shining brown eyes are looking back, “I never want you uncomfortable.”

“I assumed this is how you kpop stars do.” I can’t help but wonder if he knows just how breathtaking he can be. Even just sitting before me was adorable. Shaggy brown hair touching at his shoulders, a light pink dabbed over rounded cheeks, each beauty mark (but especially the one on the bridge of his nose) are charming me off the ledge. Slowly, unknowingly at first, I’m growing more comfortable. “But you said you don’t do this, so now I would like your answer. I came because I think you’re funny and kind. I wanted to get to know you better whatever the cost, I’m sorry.” I don’t know why I’m apologizing, neither does Chanyeol, who is smiling so softly, pity etched in umber irises. I felt so small even if I had to look down at him. This isn’t what I want. “But earlier—“ big cheeks drop, concern is all he can give me at this moment. I’m too unpredictable. “When you kissed me, I felt nothing.”

That doesn’t shock him, her who is standing to his full height and giggling his way to a cabinet in the kitchen. “Do you like white or red wine?” He knows the answer to this one, only does he ask to make obvious why he would go to the kitchen. He’s not gonna kill me, a simple drink order is all. He’s not mad we are meant to just be friends. What if he hates that idea though? “Here.” Chanyeol insists I open the bottle, another reassuring measure his brain must have cooked up. It’s working. I’m relaxing. Yet he is acting like I hadn’t rejected him, should I make myself more clear and high tail it down the hill and back on a plane? Would he search high and low for whispers on me? Panic is settling all around my ears, alarms blaring, his thin lips move and I can read them, but I can’t hear his voice at all. Curious.

Taking a steadying breath, “so if I tell you right now, I want to go home, home home, and never see you again?” I have to strain my eyes to read his words, a genuine yes, he even takes the wine bottle from my trembling hands and gathers my things. He’s halfway to the door when I hear a suitcase click, and then the ac unit, and some low electronic rumbling. Perhaps I can hear the rustling of birds outside, or some other animal lurking by. “I want to stay. Just. May I use the bathroom?”

“It’s negative twenty out. If you want to leave let me drive you.” It’s stern but not a command, like he’s inviting me to challenge him, like it’s a game for him.

I rise up to the occasion. “What makes you think I don’t have an escape plan?” At first, the joke was even morbid for me, I think it’s too far, this isn’t someone you just casually say to another human. Especially when they think you’re terrified of them.

Chanyeol surprises me again with a shrug. “Not practical enough your phone is in your bag by the door.”

“Lucky for you I just need to pee and recollect my thoughts.”

“I do my best thinking in the bathroom, go.”

The rest of the night isn’t nearly as uncomfortable. When he looks at me I’m not on display, but rather, there’s a look he gives me, one I’m well acquainted with. I hadn’t seen it in so long I had almost missed it. My dad used to look at me like this when I would bring him dinner after a long day at work. My mother would look at me like this after tucking me in at night. This very same look a man who was never this kind gave me. How do you differentiate between love and fiction? How do you know if the love that is there is made up of malicious intent or if you are soulmates?

It’s very late by the time Chanyeol announces there are three rooms in the house and that I can pick from any of them. He never intended we share a bed, something that shocks me yet again. Why bring me all the way to a cabin in the middle of the woods during winter? Is that not the point of cabin vacations? Cozying up to the one you love?

“You want to know what I think of you now?” My head had fallen prey to his strong shoulder, cheek squished on a bicep, a strong bicep. Shapely too. I wonder if he works out daily or just a few times a week. Humming for him to continue I stay in my musings, what a wonderfully sculpted man. “I think you’re weird as hell and you match me exactly.” Shifting so I can look at him incredulously, Chanyeol is carefully putting my face back in his hands. “That first kiss was just because I liked the way your lips moved when you said flower. Nothing more nothing less.” If this was a love confession it’s the cheesiest one I’ve heard. “I will not kiss you again until you let me. I need to hear you say, ‘Chanyeol, I want you to kiss me.’ And I will no hesitation. Because— while you might not feel anything, I feel everything for the both of us right now and it’s overwhelming. Tell me if or when you’re ready, for now I will shoulder the burden.”

“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.” Mimicking his earlier sentence, my teeth poke out from my lips, I’m trying so hard to not laugh. “There’s no way in hell me saying ‘flower’ has any effect on you at all… see I just said it and you’re still there and I’m still here.” Chanyeol just watches, pressing his palms into my cheeks, he licks at his lips while watching mine. “Chanyeol… kiss me.” And he does, immediately pressing his lips to mine.

A star collapsing at seven solar masses doesn’t begin to compare. It’s almost criminal when he does it again to say goodnight. I lay away, heart in my throat, replaying all three kisses in my head like a giddy school aged kid with their first boyfriend. The first one: off guard and alarming. The second: spectacular and dawning. The third: nostalgic and longing.

Holding up my left hand I look at the word embedded on my ring finger; “pretty.” Plain, blockly black text mocks me. A friend of mine in high school had “your eyes- fuck, excuse me I’m sorry, your eyes are stunning, I’m Melo,” appear on my thigh during swim practice at pe junior year. All I get is “pretty”. A tried and true compliment but one I hear so often. One that is almost never accompanied by other nouns. “Pretty”.

Chanyeol called me pretty the moment we met. Out of breath and slightly dazed, his tongue twisted loops just to force out a measly “pretty.” I laughed of course, a famous man told me I was pretty, to which I complimented him back. He asked me on a date that minute and I said yes. He could be the one. The one whose handwriting is scrawled unceremoniously on my marriage hand. God is so funny like that sometimes. Kiss one, kiss two, and kiss three… I wonder if “your smile takes all the air out my lungs,” is neatly scribbled on his tanned skin somewhere, if that’s why we’re in a secluded cabin.

Mom told me not everyone finds the owner of the words, and not everyone ends up in love with the owner of the words. Some stay friends, some become enemies, others simply live life never searching. I remember the day mama’s words left her, she didn’t leave bed for a week. I never met the person, but daddy says she was kind, and the light of my mom's life. A part of me wishes the words would just leave me, but then I remember why words suddenly disappear and feel guilty. Searching for the owner of these words has placed me in vicarious situations, ones I almost never got out of. I should just give up. Who cares if kiss one wasn’t special, the other two still had me reeling. I’m so giddy, I can’t wait to see him in the morning, to speak with him all day, to kiss him goodnight again.

Soulmate or not, one thing is for sure, I am falling for Park Chanyeol.

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