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#welcome to comedy planet
astrogre · 4 months
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What gifts to buy for each Venus sign
Christmas is among us, my favourite season and time of the year. Venus is the planet of love, by nature it can display what we like to receive from others but if you don’t know their Venus or the house it’s in you can try to look at the persons Sun sign instead but Venus is ideal.
A gift based on their:
Sun sign will make them feel seen and like you know them well, it will be a gift they may appreciate
Venus sign is all they’ve ever desired it’s the pinnacle of their ideal gift. Especially as Venus represents how we like to receive and experience love
Aries/ 1H Venus
Gym membership, running shoes, thrill seeking experiences like tickets to bungee jumping, rock climbing, a skydiving event, gym outfit, tickets to their favourite artist, tickets to festival, cool lighter, archery classes, tickets to sports games, a shirt with their teams logo or merch from their favourite artists, scissors set, cooking tools, hair styling products like hairspray, hair dye, Fitbit/apple watch, knives set, sports gear, heavy bass headphones, tickets for those room smashing experiences, take them clay pigeon shooting, family destroying board games like Risk or Catan, diy tattoo kit, diy piercing kit, theme park tickets.
Aries Venus are by nature thrill seekers, Aries is ruled by the head and has 1st house influences, they can certainly appreciate something that ignites passion, they are impulsive and quick by nature to pursue what they desire. They need gifts that match their decisive nature and to let out that pent up energy they have in them, I honestly think experiences are the best for them. Or a box of hair dye for their impulsive moments
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Taurus/ 2H Venus
Hire a chef or take them to a really good restaurant for a 5 course meal that serves orgasmic food and has impeccable visuals/atmosphere OR you can even arrange a 7 course homemade meal with the finest of recipes! , fine jewellery adorned with a gemstone, culinary experiences, cooking classes, kitchenware, go to fragrantica.com and find a high quality perfume to give, premium home decor, art, antique items, antique furniture, comfortable cosy clothing, hot water bottle, gardening tools, plants, selection of seeds for their garden, diffuser, essential oils, desserts like baklava/ferro rocher, luxury goods, wellness retreat subscription, day at the spa, tea set, comfy velvet winter pillows and bed sheets
Oh my Taurus natives, they know how to break a bank for Christmas and if not they can enjoy luxury on a budget! They enjoy the finer things of life of course Venus ruled, they know how to induge in pleasures and satisfaction. Due to the earthy influence they have a green finger and a natural affinity with plants and gardening, they may love flowers or want to grow plants themselves. Taurus venuses are rather easy to gift, if you know them they usually have a vice, it may be sleep, food or pure laziness, get them something according to their vice and they will treasure it.
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Gemini/ 3H Venus
Really cool stationary, Spotify subscription, comedy show tickets, books from their favourite genre, a notebook, Grammarly subscription, cards against humanity board game, Duolingo subscription, multiplayer games, home kit recording studio, language learning stuff, calligraphy classes, kindle, portable car charger, Bluetooth speaker, karaoke machine, suitcase, travel accessories, a musical instrument, sealing wax kit, creative hobby supplies, microphone, podcasting equipment, audio editing software, a car, vr headset, Nintendo online subscription, Netflix/HBO/youtube/crunchyroll subscription
Gemini rules communication, short journeys and social engagement. Blessing these natives with tools to enhance their pleasant hobbies will make them swoon in gratitude, if you want to get them something make it engaging and whimsical. These natives are ruled by mercury and always welcome something that requires the mind.
Cancer/ 4H Venus
A cooking set, baking set, comfort food, commission artwork of the family, family photos, some really nice home decor, a keepsake/musical box adorned with velvets and soft materials that will store sentimental objects, a locket necklace, family recipe book make a recipe book of all their favourite foods and some foods you know they’d like, soft fluffy blanket, the family heirloom, hand crafted quilt, hand painted ceramic mug, animal crossing game, sims 4 game, games relating to the home, bring and fly in family that are far away as a surprise and cook their favourite meal together, household utilities, lush bath products, a personal chef for a day, a personal butler for a day, custom family tree art, ancestry DNA kit (please be careful though once you use them they keep your data and if they get hacked your information is out there), home movie night, comfy slippers and pyjamas, family board games, this christmas make them Christmas dinner this time.
Cancer rules the home and there’s nothing more appreciated by a cancer Venus than things that remind them of this. They are by nature expressive and nurturing, this time let them be pampered!
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Leo/ 5H Venus
Hair care products, gift card for their favorite store, make them an edit no joke like a TikTok edit that makes them look really cool, one of those light up mirrors or a pretty handheld one if they don’t have one already, book them a photoshoot together if they don’t like the camera maybe post them on your social media and show affection for these bold natives, theatre tickets, bold sunglasses, luxury watch, good jewellery, VIP experiences like backstage passes or reservation to exclusive invite only restaurants, designer clothing that is a prestigious brand they love, commission style artwork, make them a playlist of songs that reminds you of them, fine wine, personalised fragrance creation that allows them to create their own signature fragrance, personalised makeup makeover, hire a stylist for them
A perfect gift for Leo’s need to have an element of self expression, luxury and incorporate their personality that garners attention from peers. They need a gift that makes them feel special, something tailored specifically for them that cannot be gifted to anyone else. Personalised gifts do well either this placement too. When I think of these natives I just think of that Meghan Trainor music video “Me Too” watch that and you’ll get their vibe.
Virgo/ 6H Venus
Skincare products, a blender for smoothies, lots of cleaning products, multi purpose aesthetic storage containers, Quora or chat gpt subscription (these guys like to be well informed), give them scientifically researched bath products that have all that vitamin breakdown qualities, make them a notion template to help them plan, quality office supplies like a desk organiser or chair, practical fitness gear like a yoga mat, a fitness tracker, get them a personal nutritionist, tailored meal prep services, bookshelf organiser system, a stylish briefcase, home office makeover (BUT PLEASE GET THEIR PERMISSION FIRST), online course subscription, digital subscription to news feed, you can never go wrong with practical things, an ikea haul, Costco membership, minimalist decor, multi vitamins, a precision watch, set of labelling and sorting tools, a neat tidy chess board, get them a nice little pet, honestly for some reason whenever I think of Virgos I think of matcha. Get them something matcha based.
Virgo Venus natives need gifts that resemble their routine and organisation, they can be rather difficult to purchase for since they have such a specific taste in mind. Gift cards are practical for them but they really need something that allows them to be more prepared. Take them out for comparison price shopping like say if you want to get them a sofa tell them you’ll take them out to Costco, Amazon, ikea, and compare the best ones. They are also very clean and efficient.
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Libra Venus/ 7H Venus
Trending Make up like the fenty hot chocolit heat lip gloss, Korean skincare products, beautiful piece of art, a wedding ring 😏, bouquet of flowers, take them to a beautiful botanical garden, fashionable accessories like a silk scarf, books and courses on design, take them to a couples romantic date, a couples workshop, write them a love letter, museum date, tickets to an art exhibition, fine dining, an astrology synastry reading, if they’re single set up a blind date with someone who you KNOW they would like (make sure they’re handsome/pretty), couples retreat, love coach Patreon subscription, pottery/painting classes, relationship podcast subscription, relationship psychology books, fine fragrance/cologne
Libra is ruled by Venus and 7th house, all things related to love beauty and pleasure align with this native, even if they are single they have a natural gift for delving into relationships. Make sure that whatever gift you give them it is pleasing and sensual
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Scorpio/ 8H Venus
Intimate gifts, a psychological crime documentary playlist like Epstein island documentary or YouTubers who speak of renowned cult leaders, personalised astrology reading, a dark seductive fragrance, dark artwork, dominance and submission guide book, shadow work journal with a lock on it, dark poetry and literature, escape room adventure tickets, monopoly game, dungeons and dragons game equipment, bdsm accessories, personalised erotic art, leather/latex clothing, bonding activities, empowering books like 48 Laws of Power, martial arts training, taxidermy, personal development workshops, intense workout equipment like a punching bag, chess, daggers, locks on their door or for their belongings like installing a lock for their drawers, buy them a ring camera and subscription, wine tasting experience
Give them something sultry and deep, it has to be psychological and empowering. They are not impressed by superficial gifts that mean nothing to them. They really like gifts that allow them to explore their nature and the darker aspects of existence.
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Sagittarius/ 9H Venus
A scratch off map that allows you to scratch off countries you’ve been to, a surprise holiday where you take them abroad, Duolingo subscription, a wanderlust journal for them to document their experiences, passport accessories, an electric guitar, drums, take them to a fireworks display or do one at home for them, a telescope, a drone, binoculars, philosophical books or religious books based on their own beliefs and religion, running shoes, horse riding in the sunset experience, musical instruments, motivational and positive affirmations book or make some for them yourself, a book collection of all their motivational and positive messages they have said, a compass, pay for their tuition for a course they’ve always wanted, traveling stuff like suitcases, pillow for travelling, a portable flask, a disposable camera, a Polaroid camera, a tent, tickets to a cultural festival, hiking gear, skiing gear, camping gear, sketchbook, a donation in their name
Sagittarius Venus and 9H venuses love the concept of exploration whether it be in the mind or physically, the best gift you could give them is one that allows them to take in so much culture, information and experiences.
Capricorn/ 10H Venus
Customisable credit card (CUCU is a good site for this), a nice power suit like business attire, vintage pocket calculator, cufflinks or a tie, formal shoes, pay for their CV to be analysed by professionals in their industry, elegant timeless clothing and jewellery, make them business cards, get them a corporate slave (an assistant will do), pay for business class flights for their next trip abroad, project management courses, tickets to Ted Talk event, take them to and big them up at networking and entrepreneurial opportunities, a sleek desk, submit their work for trophies and awards, quality furniture, Starbucks or their fave coffee place gift cards, a fountain pen, personalised desk name plate, professional photoshoot, designer accessories like a Swiss watch, leather wallet, cheque book, pay for a professional calligrapher to design their signature, time management software
Our sweet cap Venuses and 10Hers need their professional acknowledgment, give them anything timeless and a way for them to better themselves. They love being the best of the best so give them things that support their ambitions.
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Aquarius/ 11H Venus
A 3D printer, high tech phone, a gamer console, smart home device like Alexa, chat gpt subscription, AI art pieces of them, rubix cube, VR headset, bespoke one of a kind art piece, tickets to a science technology conference or musem, networking events, phone case, futuristic home decor, membership to an niche club their interested in, mini indoor garden like a plant terrarium, pay for an astronomy stargazing experience for them, alt clothing, goal setting journal, a camaraderie for their friendships can be a bracelet for an example, tickets to a unique workshop according to their niche interests, video editing software, a unique invention prototype for the industry their interested in say if it were cars then a mini Tesla or something, volunteer together, design software, film festival tickets, social cause merchandise, unique fashion piece, astronomy kit, an AI boyfriend or girlfriend, take them a Ted talk.
Always remember the specific niche interests of these natives they like things that are very niche and so sometimes asking them is actually the best thing to do. But make sure it’s something they’re passionate about not all of these natives live tech but they certainly are innovative.
Pisces/ 12H Venus
Seashell necklace, watercolour paints, fantasy book collection, their favourite mangas, handmade artwork, stained glass window art, dream interpretation book, flowerpedia book, vinyls, yoga mat, contact lenses, tickets to their favourite artist like mitski or the sort, create a playlist for them that’s about fantasy and imagination, they might like Disney consider taking them to Disneyland, windchime, subscription to mindfulness app, astrology book, go to the aquarium together, windchimes, art supplies, a dream journal, sound healing instruments, pay for their spiritual retreat, zen garden decor, a mystical music box, water fountain, take them to a mesmerising body of water, prayer mats, diary, write them a heartfelt letter of how amazing they are, take them to a nature retreat, wearable art
Dreamy imaginative gifts would be perfect for these people, they need gifts that allow them to appreciate their escape world where they have a reality that’s just better than here. Give them things that are as beautiful as their inner world.
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astrobiscuits · 10 months
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Astro observations part 5
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🐝 Saturn in 5th house individuals don’t like parties
🐝 All the Cancer Sun guys i met were either metalheads or femboys, i swear there’s no in-between
🐝 Libra Sun love nature. They're the type to spend weekends hiking, going on picnics with friends & family
🐝 Check out asteroid Armisticia (1464) in synastry. If you’ve got it conjuncting personal planets or angles, it indicates that you and the other person are on the same page when it comes to conflict, making it easier to find a solution to the problem and make peace
🐝 Aquarius on 4th house cusp individuals might have grown in a LGBTQ+ family. They might have got adopted by a gay/lesbian couple
🐝 When Cancer Moons go to college, they usually choose a college close to their hometown and commute to it
🐝 Trines to your Mercury show what type of writer you would be
If Mercury trines Moon - poetry, children's books (0-6 yo)
If Mercury trines Venus - romance novels, art books, chick-lit fiction (ik it's basically dead, but long live the internet)
If Mercury trines Mars - action & adventure novels, war novels
If Mercury trines Jupiter - young adults fiction, comedy books, travel literature, religion/spirituality books
If Mercury trines Saturn - contemporary novels, non-fiction books (memoirs, biographies, academic works, etc.)
If Mercury trines Uranus - sci-fi novels, (combined with Pluto) dystopian novels
If Mercury trines Neptune - fantasy novels, children's books (6-12 yo)
If Mercury trines Pluto - mystery novels, horror novels, thrillers
Hope you enjoyed today's post!❤️
Post ideas are welcomed in the comments!
See you soon! ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ✩‧
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soda-sparkss · 9 months
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HOME-BOUND
Its me again, hi <3 I've made yet another Welcome Home Au called Home- Bound where You're on a Train to Escape Your Mundane Life. Every friendly neighbor has their own cart on the train, with Julie's being the first one you're seated at and Wally's being the conductor car. Make your way through this whimsical little train ride that seems to last for Eternity! Where are you headed? Who knows! Trying to Escape the train once you're on will result in a proper Punishment. If you get off before the train Stops, there will be no moving from the spot that you landed on. Any physical or emotional violence caused to the train will result in consequences varying in severity depending on how much damage you've done. Please do Remember that the train is your Home the train is your Home the train is your Home the train is your Home the train is your H Oh, and one more thing! Don't Forget Your Ticket.
Cars are in order starting from the back. Sleeping/Boarding Car Jullie's Car Poppy's Car Sally's Car Howdy's Car Frank's Car Eddie's Car Barnaby's Car Wally's Car/Conductor Car
First off, We have our Humble Conductor, Wally Darling!
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Being at the front of the Train, Wally has many responsibilities as a Conductor. Once you board the Train, he will come back to the Boarding Car to punch your Ticket. It is Imperative that you have it, lest you be sent right back to the station!
Second up is Barnaby B Beagle! Wally's very very very close "Friend".
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In this lovely dog's car, he can be found cracking so many fun jokes! Heck, he has an entire book full of Comedy skits from passengers who were Fortunate enough to make it up to his car all the way from the Boarding car! Though, if you want to leave, you'll have to give him another skit to add to his book!
Next up is the darling Mailman, Eddie Dear!
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This dearest mailman send out all the letters and Tickets to future Residents of the Home Bound Express. He's quite the workaholic, especially during the nighttime hours! If you happen to make it to his car, be in for a load of sorting letters, snacks, and lovely stories about all of his travels on the Train! Poor guy is a afraid of snails too..
Next up is the trains Librarian, Frank Frankly!
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If you enter his car, you'll be greeted with books up the Wazoo! He will insist you look at any one that interests you. The books are written by him and consist an encyclopedia of facts about every existing bug on the planet. Not one bug left out! Unfortunately, if you want to leave, you'll have to take a quiz. Find a book about a specific bug he tells you about, read through it, and then tell him what you learned. Careful not to let the bookflies(book butterflies!) distract you! After you tell Frank the facts you learned, you have to navigate your way through a maze in the garden behind his library. Don't worry, the bugs will guide you!
Next up is the 'local' Grocer, Howdy Pillar!
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Who can resist a Pillar who advertises his wares so well? He has everything from the little doodads to wild thingamajigs! Careful you don't get lost in the maze of his stock. If you want to leave, however, you must buy something or solve a little riddle of his!
Next up is the ONE AND ONLY!! Sally Starlet!
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This Star is always putting on a Show!(With sleep and snack breaks, of course.) Her seemingly endless act will have you wrapped up in a world completely different from your own! Her whips and twirls will thread a story right before your very eyes! It's Almost Impossible to Look Away!! Also, nighttime shows are provided for people with insomnia, headphones are provided for those with sensory issues, plushies and hand santizer are provided for people with anxieties or obsessive compulsions.
And following right behind her is Poppy Partridge!
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Who doesn't want an absolute sweetheart to take them under her wing and provide a comfortable place to Relax! Treats are baked for anyone who wants one! Beanbag chairs cots, futons, and a plethora of cushions are provided, as well as DvD players and a TV for Entertainment. Careful, too many sweets from this lovely Partridge will send you into a Deep Sleep.
Then we have the lovely Julie Joyful!
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Julie is so playful! If you step foot into her car, you're in for a whole day full of fun games like Tag, Tic Tac Toe, and Hide and Seek! Hide and Seek is her favorite game! Though I can't say the same for her victims Passengers.
And then the Train himself, Home!
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While Home is the train, pictured above is his physical manifestation. If he doesn't have a cup of tea, he'll probably be smoking Candy Cloud, which is their form of tobacco.
And Last but not Least, You!
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That's right, You! YOu reading this right now! Go ahead and put yourself in the au, draw yourself interacting with the neighbors! You can use this base, I'll post a blank version soon enough! A HUGE huge thank you to @mumimoondrops and @severalbonez for helping me with designs and the story! Mumi is a co-owner of the au. Notes and Disclaimers: Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in Welcome Home. They all belong to @partycoffin. And while two people have already made train conductor au's I wanted to make my own story and designs for the cast! Design Inspirations: @chez-cinnamon, @clownsuu Tags: @3amclothesmonster, @dottyorange, @doggwwoggy23, @kennethmoop, @snowshinefivez5, @larzuen, @nyx-mrbones-2360, @vixxproductions, @sedittedice, @mumimoondrops, @ari-jay, @strugglebugglemoth, @wheatlover, @unpleasantbread, @mockhound, @purplefoxy14, and @anonymous-paperbag
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yurimother · 9 months
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The 2023 Yuri Guide - Webtoons/Manhua/Manhwa
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Your ultimate guide to the best Yuri content with over 200 curated titles from every genre and medium.
After the Curtain Call
• Drama • Romance  • Comedy
Soyoung is devastated when her favorite musical actor is swallowed up by the world of TV. Just after she quits supporting him, she discovers charismatic actress Jaeyi in a theater performance of "Macbeth" and becomes a fan at first sight. By meeting Jaeyi after her shows and even doing her a favor, Soyoung goes from a mere fan to her good friend. But when Jaeyi has to work with celebrity actress Hyesun, who she has a troubled past with, it unexpectedly sours their friendship. All Soyoung wanted was to support her favorite actress... so why does this new development bother her so much?
~Created by Assam, Illustrated by JINA~ Read on Tappytoon
Apollonia
• Action • Sci-Fi • Comedy
Molly Holliday is the new blood on the perilous prison planet Purgatoire. While wet behind the ears, her quickdraw skills catch the eye of steel-edged bounty hunter Tess Seguín and her devilish crew of hard-knocks, The Red Horns. Together, they’ll collect bounties, put scum six feet under, and find a way to escape the planet in their trusty space train, The Apollonia.
~Created by ✯War Bunny✯~ Read on Webtoon
Bai Lijin Among Mortals
• Slice of Life • Romance  • Comedy • Slice of Life • Supernatural
Baili jin, a fairy who was living in heaven, eating and drinking without a care, broke her Majesty’s colourful, stained-glass plate at her birthday and got banished to the mortal realm. Now she has to begin her adventures in the mortal realm with all of her spiritual powers gone! In order to survive, the former fairy has to deliver take-out.... An endearingly silly fairy, a gentle restaurant manager, a reserved top student and a hard to resist two-faced girl, let the story of their beautiful friendship and youthful days begin!
~Created by Viva, Illustrated by Julys~ Read on Bilibili Comics
The Barefoot Nina
• School • Romance  • Drama
When shy and timid Eunseo was forced to transfer to the elite Stella Academy of the Arts, she expected lonely school days filled with cutthroat competition. So she's taken by surprise when the free-spirited Ina takes a sudden liking to her. The two girls become closer as they secretly meet on the rooftop after classes, and Eunseo's friendly admiration grows into something more. Luckily, Ina returns her feelings as well... but they seem to border on a dark obsession that grows larger by the day. What will happen when Eunseo discovers the hidden reason behind Ina's mysterious love?
~Created by Cheomji~ Read on Tappytoon
Blooming Out
• Anthology • Multiple Couples
A GL short story collection. Women from different walks of life realize what's missing in their lives through chance encounters or unexpected realization of ties with kindred spirits at crossroads in life, or a period of self reflection.
~Created by Red Peach Studio~ Read on Pocket Comics
Blooming Sequence
• Slice of Life • Romance • Drama • Senpai/Kouhai
Seowoo, president of the film club, is standing outside in the rain, a welcome break from the noisy and chaotic bar behind her, when a girl with orange hair stumbles out the doors and practically into her arms. Then she begins singing “Dancing in the Rain” while... dancing in the rain. It’s a minute encounter, really, but Seowoo has seen the greatest romances bloom from the smallest moments in the movies. So when Hayoung shows up to join the film club, Seowoo – who’s not even sure what she herself is feeling – finds her heart skipping a beat.
~Created by Lee Eul~ Read on Lezhin
Butterfly Love Effect
• School • Drama • Fantasy
Bullied at school and abused at home, Seulbi, a high school senior struggling with her interest in other girls and her dull life, is on the verge of ending it all. That is, until she runs into an odd girl, wandering the streets with no memory of who or where she is. Instantly falling for this mysterious girl who has no memories and doesn't feel any pain or hunger, Seulbi gives her a new name, Gu Seju, meaning "Savior". The only clue of Seju's identity is a mysterious note that appears in her pocket each day. Seulbi sticks with her, determined to help and solve the mystery that is Seju. However, as the mystery unfolds... Seulbi discovers a secret beyond anything she could imagine: Seju is her future girlfriend who has traveled back in time to see her??!!!!
~Created by ZZING~ Read on Pocket Comics
Chasing Lilies
• Comedy • Romance
Hwa-won knows better than to pick things off the street, even if it is just an innocent-looking USB. In an effort to find the owner, Hwa-won discovers that the USB belongs to her favorite GL writer, Kim Yuri, and has unreleased chapters of the latter’s new sequel! As a zealous fan, Hwa-won can hardly resist herself from devouring the chapters in one setting. However, she seems to have forgotten that curiosity is not just hazardous to cats! Because the USB doesn’t just contain the chapters to the sequel. It also contains things that leave Hwa-won upset. Now Hwa-won needs answers and Kim Yuri’s the only one who has them. But Kim Yuri is a staunch recluse who refuses to leave her house! How is Hwa-won to meet her?! Soon, online meets offline, fiction meets reality and as the pages turn, it is no longer Hwa-won doing the chasing!
~Created by baekjoasi, Illustrated by Deepsleep~ Read on Lehzin
Circuits and Veins
• Sci-Fi • Slice of Life • Romance
What do you do when the cutie who moves in next door to you is an android? In a world of automation, artificial intelligence and reliable public transport, two awkward dorks try to work out how to date each other.
~Created by Jem Yoshioka~ Read on Webtoon and Tapas
Crush of the Decade
• Romance • Drama
Yuna has kept a secret for ten whole years: she has a crush on her best friend, Da-hye. It’s a secret she intends to keep for the rest of her life, but the new year brings a lot of surprises: including a strange new woman named Zoey, who just might change everything. Caught between two women, Yuna’s one-sided crush just might die down…or turn into something else entirely. After a whole decade of pining, is it time for Yuna to finally find her happy ending? And if so, who will be the one to ultimately grant it to her?
~Created by Teunteun, Illustrated by CARBONARA~ Read on Lezhin
Dallae
• Romance • Yuri Cohabitation • Friends to Lovers
Bo-eun has recently acquired a furry little roommate named Dallae (Korean for azalea), who she met in an azalea field. Dallae has her own schedule, though, and comes and goes as she pleases. Meanwhile, Bo-eun can’t seem to stop dreaming about a missed friendship in high school – her name is Saeyeon. Oddly enough, it was around the time that Dallae started showing up that Bo-eun started having recurring dreams of Saeyeon...
~Created by Choonae~ Read on Lezhin
For Her, I'd Give It My All
Comedy • Slice of Life
Jiaxia is a new editor for the comic company BliBli. Ever since high school she has admired comic artist Taiji-sensei, who inspired her to pursue a career in the 2D world. Although Taiji-sensei has a bad reputation in the publishing world for being lazy and troublesome, Jiaxia is determined to be her new editor. But will she be able to get Taiji-sensei to finally get motivated to draw a new comic?
~Created byJitai and Lily Club~ Read on Bilibili Comics 
Getting to Know Grace
• Historical • Drama • Romance
Andrew is the only daughter of the famous Grace family. She also has an incurable disease. Due to her family's high status in society, Andrew grew up with no friends save for her maid, Herta, whom she has become intensely infatuated with. Little does she know, her family is responsible for ruining Herta's life. Can Andrew break the hierarchy and be with her? Or will Herta end her suffering first...
~Created by Hilde, Illustrated by Mokma~ Read on Lezhin
Ghosts of Greywoods
• Historical • Drama • Romance • Tragedy • Mystery
Welcome to Greywoods, a beautiful mansion isolated deep in the countryside. Its main inhabitants? The Viscount Rose, his daughter Lady Eileen, the housekeeper, the butler, and... a new maid, Marie. As Lady Eileen and her newest (and only) companion begin to open up to each other, do their hearts follow close behind? Now, don’t mind any lingering ghosts still haunting the grounds, they’re not real! Nor are there any enduring secrets, deep-rooted betrayals, or an air of mystery... just trust me.
~Created by letINK~ Read on Tapas
The Girlfriend Project
• Romance • Drama • Comedy
When Julia’s scholarship is cut, she’s out of options. A surprise rescue comes when her project partner Ryn offers to pay Julia to pretend to be her girlfriend for the holidays. One problem: Ryn is quite possibly the weirdest person Julia knows. On top of that, Ryn’s filthy rich family snubs black sheep like Ryn and working-class people like Julia. As Julia works to win the hearts of Ryn’s family, she realizes it could be more than her pride on the line: Her own heart may be in jeopardy, too.
~Createdby protokrawl, Grace Franzen, Tami Babikian, and Bre Indigo, Illustrated by Sahyu and Kouwarra~ Read on Tapas
The Glass
• Romance • Friends to Lovers • Drama
Lara and Suni are childhood friends who meet again after 10 years. Suni is a member of the world’s most successful idol group, "THE GLASS''. Lara is looking for a job while planning her wedding with her fiancé, Mark. After a small accident, they meet again and - thanks to Suni's help - Lara gets a job as her new manager!
However, Suni has a secret… she’s been in love with Lara since childhood, and now she is determined to keep the promise they made to each other when they were little girls... to marry her. Suni and her teammates (Eva, Dana, and Lia) will fight to achieve their dream of being the first idol group to win a Grammy, but will their love and drama keep it out of reach in the end? Music, dance, fashion, and a lot of passion... "see us, hear us" we are THE GLASS!
~Created by Nuria Sanguino~ Read on Pocket Comics
Her, Who I Yearn For
• Drama • Romance • Yuri Cohabitation
Dream chaser Nuo En accidentally bumped into the queen of fashion Jun Ling one day, and since then accidentally interlocked their fates. Two individuals from completely different backgrounds began living together after that. However, conspiracy after conspiracy slowly unveil themselves over time; will timid Nuo En alone be enough to save Jun Ling's heart from freezing forever?
~Created by CleverCool~ Read on Bilibili Comics
Her Pet
• School • Comedy • Drama • Romance
Based on a Korean folktale, two very different women find themselves making the same wish - to leave this world behind. One is Shim Chong, a young beggar living off the kindness of others to support herself and her blind father. The other is the bride-to-be of old Chancellor Jang, sold off to him for the sake of her family. When Shim Chong rescues this new bride from the river, their relationship triggers both love and hidden intentions. But will these two women be able to find their way forth in a world that favors men?
~Created by Pito~ Read on Lezhin
Her Tale of Shim Chong
• Historical • Drama • Romance
Based on a Korean folktale, two very different women find themselves making the same wish - to leave this world behind. One is Shim Chong, a young beggar living off the kindness of others to support herself and her blind father. The other is the bride-to-be of old Chancellor Jang, sold off to him for the sake of her family. When Shim Chong rescues this new bride from the river, their relationship triggers both love and hidden intentions. But will these two women be able to find their way forth in a world that favors men?
~Created by Seri, Illustrated by Bi-wan~ Read on Pocket Comics
High Class Homos
• Comedy • Fantasy
Princess Sapphia of Mytilene is not into princes. So, when her parents start putting the heat on her to get hitched, she enlists the help of her equally gay best friend, Prince August of Phthia. But will these two royals be able to pull off a convincing sham marriage? More importantly, will Sapphia ever land a date with the castle maids? Follow these high class homos as they navigate life, love, and (occasionally) their actual jobs.
~Created by Momozerii~ Read on Webtoon
The Incapable Married Princess
• Comedy • Fantasy • Love at First Sight
 For the sake of the country, I was going to sacrifice myself and get married off. But the match was also a woman? I thought I was picking her up, but I didn't think I was being picked up by her all the time.
~Created by Mago and Chengdu Rockman Comics~ Read on Bilibili Comics
June and Alice
• Fantasy • Romance • Master/Servant
June, an oriental girl in a foreign country, becomes the queen's dress-up doll to make a living! June wants to escape once she earns enough money, but she gets caught up in a bigger conspiracy struggle for power.
~Created by Chazi~ Read on Webcomics
Kiss it Goodbye
• Romance • Asexual • School
Aruka and Yukimi, childhood friends living in Kyoto, Japan. The two of them, now adults in a long-term relationship, recount the story of how they became distant friends to lovers. As their teen selves grow up and come to terms with their sexuality and their feelings for each other, the budding couple faces external and internal challenges. 
~Created by Ticcy~ Read on Webtoon and Tapas
Lala
• School • Romance • Comedy • Slice of Life
Xia Yuxun, a girl who really likes cute things and has been forced to repeat a year meets what she considers an angel at the start of the school year: the short and cute Xue Shini. In order to force Xue Shini into wearing her cute designs, Xia Yuxun has to attack. Will she get what she wants...? A light and funny schoolyard comedy unfolds here.
~Created by Yy, Illustrated by Lily Club and PIKAPI~ Read on Bilibili Comics
Lilies
• School • Slice of Life • Enemies to Lovers
Ryoka, who is in charge of school discipline at the school committee doesn't like one of her junior, Rima Sasaki. Rima breaks school rules all the time, but she looks like she doesn't care at all. Since Ryoka likes to look after people, she is always troubled by Rima. One day, Rima comes to cafe where Ryoka works part-time dressing like a boy. Rima thinks she is really "Kazu", a cute boy, and seems to have special feelings for him....
~Yuto Komiya~ Read on BookWalker Global
Lily
• School • Slice of Life • Romance • Slow Burn
Prim and proper honors student Fan Yilin and the mysterious and charismatic Lan Ruoxi met through a stroke of fate and a misunderstanding, and only got further involved with each other from that point on. The more they came to know each other, the more something different started blooming between the two. "I like you, only because it's you."
~Created by Yy, Illustrated by Lily Club and PIKAPI~ Read on Bilibili Comics
Lily Love
• Romance • Drama • 18+
When Donut meets Mew, their encounter turns out to be more than just a coincidence, as their closeness slowly turns into something more intimate. Lily Love... is a story between two very different people, who hand and hand, learn to trust each other in order to nurture and protect the love they share regardless of position, distance, or gender. If finding true love already seems next to impossible, how much harder will it be to keep it?
In the sequel, Lily Love 2, Ploy has been avoiding her family and anything that's related to her family's business as long as she could. She is now, however, forced to be part of the business and dreads what her parents have in store for her. Hopefully, there is one thing that could help her bear all of it as a certain student applies for an internship at the hotel Ploy is at.
~Created by Ratana Satis~ Read on Lezhin
Lime Herbal Tea
• School • Romance
Gu Gu, a shy girl, meets Xing Xing, an extroverted basketball girl. Xing Xing is everything Gu Gu wants to be - have lots of friends and live a happy, carefree life with dreams. Gu Gu is organized; she lists out a long to-do list for herself. But how does that help her get closer to Xing Xing? Wait, maybe Xing Xing is trying to get closer to Gu Gu too...
~Created by Ju Wei Wenhua Jixiangwu~ Read on Webcomics
The Love Doctor
• School • Drama • Romance
Jung Erae has no clue about relationships and men to the point where she drives every man away. Desperate, she seeks help and ends up contacting a love doctor, Cha Yoon. Strangely enough, Erae starts developing newfound feelings for this so-called doctor.
~Created by Chamsae, Illustrated by Bansook~ Read on Lezhin
Mage & Demon Queen
• Fantasy • Romance • Comedy • Love at First Sight • Enemies to Lovers
Human adventurers seek to challenge the Demon Tower, and whoever can ascend to the top floor and defeat and kill the Demon Queen Velverosa will gain fame and fortune and a rich reward from the kingdom. A particular thorn in the Demon Queen's side is Malori, a powerful young mage that has repeatedly reached the top, not to kill her, but to win her hand in marriage.
~Created by Color_Les~ Read on Webtoon
Maid in Heaven
• Mystery • Horror • Tragedy • Supernatural • Weak Yuri
An orphan, Sherl Watson, leaves her job in London to work at the Taylor Mansion. Rumorsand a cloud of mystery surrounds the mansion as strange occurences keep popping up. Will Sherl and the other maids be able to get out alive or were they all doomed to begin with?
~Created by Seone~ Read on Pocket Comics
Maison de Maid
• Historical • Comedy • Slice of Life • Master/Servant
The lively yet clumsy new maid June does nothing right except cause trouble and yet, instead of berating June, the young and gracious madam forgives her and shows favoritism among the maids. Both have admiration and affection for one another, but will it turn into something more? 2nd Lezhin Comics World Comic Contest Second Prize Winner.
~Created by Monnyang and Tarang~ Read on Lezhin
Master of the Fox Bead
• Supernatural • Action • Slice of Life • Horror
Human adventurers seek to challenge the Demon Tower, and whoever can ascend to the top floor and defeat and kill the Demon Queen Velverosa will gain fame and fortune and a rich reward from the kingdom. A particular thorn in the Demon Queen's side is Malori, a powerful young mage that has repeatedly reached the top, not to kill her, but to win her hand in marriage.
~Created by Gyaga~ Read on Tapas
Mojito
• Romance • Drama
Cool and quirky runway model Simone and her witty lawyer lover Marissa were spotted KISSING on the street! Not only that, the photo is all over the internet and people will NOT stop talking about it!! Now their families, employers, and even the public are pressuring them to call it quits on their relationship. But despite their struggle to gain acceptance, Simone and Marissa are set on showing everyone that love is like a well-mixed drink; the sweeter the taste, the harder it is to put down.
~Created by noftB~ Read on Tapas
Muted
• Fantasy • Romance • Supernatural • Drama
On the full moon of her 21st year, the young witch, Camille Severin, is expected to perform the traditional ritual to summon forth a winged demon for her families success and prosperity. But when the ritual goes wrong, it reveals the terrifying truths about herself and the secrets that threaten to tear her family apart.
~Created by Miranda Mundt~ Read on Webtoon
My Darling is the Cutest (She is Also Cute Today)
• School • Romance • Drama • Friends to Lovers
As the top freshman at Brilliant Minds High, Sadie Cang is surrounded by students who admire her brilliance, yet she lacks a single real friend. Fellow student Lex Qi has long since accepted her own hopeless, "dead last" title, along with everyone’s aversion to her seemingly contagious tendency to fail. Although they were both prepared to go through high school in these lonely roles, a silly rumor forced them together. Will an imperfect pairing form the perfect bond they never knew they wanted?
~Created by Guo Site~ Read on Tapas, Pocket Comics, Comikey, INKR Comics, and Webcomics
My Food Looks Very Cute
• Romance • Drama • Slice of Life
Twenty-one year old Yuna is tired of having guys hit on her all the time. As popular as she is, she’s been single her whole life. Just when she decided to make herself a boyfriend to fend off guys, she meets a handsome guy who looks good enough to her boyfriend. But wait, that guy is actually a girl! In fact, rumors say that Min is a lesbian. Nonetheless, the two decide to pretned to be in a romantic relationship.
~Created by Radish, Black Box L, and Lily Club, Illustrated by Radish~ Read on Bilibili Comics
My Princess Charming
• Slice of Life • Fantasy
A vampire that has been asleep for almost two hundred years, Maria, has been awakened by a wolf girl passing by, Xing Lan. When the casket was opened, a curse fell upon Xing Lan. Instead of being scared, the naïve Xing Lan instead believes she has found an amazing companion, and the two embark on a journey to the city. The story begins like this.
~Created by Teunteun~ Read on Pocket Comics
The Nightingale and the Rose
• Isekai • Fantasy • Drama
Streamer Bai Xinxin transmigrated into the thriller game “The Nightingale and the Rose” as the prince’s daughter, Bai Yueguang. In this game, everyone wants to kill the female protagonist. Only Lan Sha, the character the player controls, can protect her. To survive in “a world full of bitter yanderes” and “political opponents who want to stop the marriage,” Bai Yueguang has to figure out how to win against her enemies while keeping herself and Lan Sha Alive. However, this “Lan Sha” seems to be a little…?!
~Created by Lily Club, Written by Long You Xiao, Illustrated by Wangyuanlian~ Read on Bilibili Comics
Night Owls & Summer Skies
• Romance • Enemies to Lovers
Despite her tough exterior, seventeen year-old Emma Lane has never been the outdoorsy type. So when her mother unceremoniously dumps her at Camp Mapplewood for the summer, she’s determined to get kicked out fast. However, when she draws the attention of Vivian Black, a mysterious and gorgeous assistant counselor, she discovers that there may be more to this camp than mean girls and mosquitos. There might even be love.
~Created by Rebecca Sullivan, Illustrated by TIKKLIL~ Read on Webtoon
Not So Shoujo Love Story
• School • Comedy • Romance• Slow Burn
Romance-super-fan Rei Chan is ready for her first boyfriend and she knows just who it'll be: the most handsome boy in school, Hansum Ochinchin. But her plans for the perfect love story are derailed when the most popular girl in class declares herself a rival....for Rei's heart?! This is the year her not so shoujo love story begins!
~Created by Curryuku~ Read on Webtoon
Please Bully Me, Miss Villainess
• Isekai • Fantasy • Comedy • Romance
I, Yvonne, reincarnated into an otome game as the evil noble. Based on all other villainesses ever written, a character like me, hated by every reader, should obviously be focusing on bullying the villainess, leading her into the various romance routes. However, something’s wrong with the female protagonist, Elsa! I-I’ve told you that you’re too close to me. Don’t come any further! Elsa: “Yvonne, Yvonne~ How will you bully me today?”
~Created by Chise and  Ci Wei Mao, Magical Deities Studios, and Lustrous Night, Illustrated by Break S~ Read on Bilibili Comics
Pulse
• Shakaijin • Romance • Drama • 18+
Mel, a renowned heart surgeon, lives a carefree life with sex being a tool for joy rather than a show of affection. Then she meets someone that turns her view of love and life upside down. This story is about two people that meet with minimal expectations but soon become enthralled in a relationship that changes everything about themselves. 2nd Lezhin Comics World Comic Contest Winner.
~Created by Ratana Satis~ Read on Lezhin Graphic Novel Published by Seven Seas Entertainment
Re-Blooming
• Drama • Romance
Hell yeah! A major publisher wants Mai Sohn to write a webcomic on relationships. But she’s struck with heartbreak as her girlfriend abruptly dumps her. It’s hard writing about relationships without being in one, so she needs to find the inspiration for love — and find it fast. And what’s up with her possibly homophobic neighbor? Why is she cool with Mai one minute and then so awkward and weird to her the next?! Can’t a girl catch a break?
~Created by letINK~ Read on Tapas
Relationship Guidelines
• Romance • Slice of Life • Friends to Lovers
Hell yeah! A major publisher wants Mai Sohn to write a webcomic on relationships. But she’s struck with heartbreak as her girlfriend abruptly dumps her. It’s hard writing about relationships without being in one, so she needs to find the inspiration for love — and find it fast. And what’s up with her possibly homophobic neighbor? Why is she cool with Mai one minute and then so awkward and weird to her the next?! Can’t a girl catch a break?
~Created by EPUM~ Read on Tapas
Ring my Bell
• Comedy • Romance • Slice of Life
Hell yeah! A major publisher wants Mai Sohn to write a webcomic on relationships. But she’s struck with heartbreak as her girlfriend abruptly dumps her. It’s hard writing about relationships without being in one, so she needs to find the inspiration for love — and find it fast. And what’s up with her possibly homophobic neighbor? Why is she cool with Mai one minute and then so awkward and weird to her the next?! Can’t a girl catch a break?
~Created by Yeongol~ Read on Tapas
Seeing Xinghuo Again
• Supernatural • Romance • Slow Burn • Drama
Through an old camera in the club's storage room, Gu An saw something that should not exist. She was a shooting star from three years ago named "Xinghuo." Why do you stay in the night sky? Why am I the only one who can see you? Gu An, who usually follows the crowd, wants to investigate and take the initiative for the first time in her life. As an observer and "the most important friend," Gu An and Xinghuo set on a journey to find the former club members and fulfill their dreams from three years ago. "It's... been exposed." "But, I'm really happy. Thank you, Gu An."
~Created by Spicy Cat Comics, Written by Wan Dian, Illustrated by Chun Bu Jian~ Read on Bilibili Comics
Seven Days in Silverglen
• Fantasy • Romance
Tess is a professional working gorgon - she's responsible, organised, and keeps her snakes discreetly in place. So she would never act on her feelings for a coworker, no matter how cute she is. But when her crush asks for a favour Tess finds she can't possibly say no, and her carefully constructed life spirals in the worst (best?) way.
~Created by Ari North~ Read on Webtoon
She’s a Keeper
• Drama • Romance • Action
The rate of kidnapping in Phili has been going crazy. Clara del Samson happens to be a daughter of a multi-millionaire businessman. Meanwhile, the Keeper Corp is best known for their “Keepers” who are experts at protecting elites; one of them is Keeper Elle- who was hired to protect Clara.
~Created by Darunni~ Read on Tapas, Webcomic, and Webtoon
Shine on You
• Romance • Drama
Four years ago, Joe came out as a female writer from her pen name Jeffery Collins. Amid many denunciations, an amicable man named Liam approaches her. However, he turned out to be a notorious literary critic. Along with her father's disapproval as a writer, Joe became hostile and unable to trust anyone. That is until Anna Baker, a bright young art student, starts to change her.
~Created by Digby~ Read on Pocket Comics
Slightly Sour Secret
• Comedy • Romance • Friends to Lovers
Have you ever been confused about love? In the end what is "true love" like? Our female lead now is standing at a fork in the road. On one side, her close childhood friend is waiting for her reply. On the other side, there stands her college friend whom she cannot just let go. Where does this love triangle lead to?
~Created by Huang Shi Fan~ Read on Webcomics
Sora & Haena
• Comedy • School • Romance • Slow Burn
Have you ever been confused about love? In the end what is "true love" like? Our female lead now is standing at a fork in the road. On one side, her close childhood friend is waiting for her reply. On the other side, there stands her college friend whom she cannot just let go. Where does this love triangle lead to?
~Created by Jackbull~ Read on Tapas, Lezhin, and Pocket Comics
Soul Drifters
• Sci-fi • Action • 18+
The human race has finally developed beyond natural death. The immortality so many have dreamed of has finally come to fruition. Claire Clayton, employed by the Eternal Life Corporation, spearheads similar projects as a prestigious researcher. Her wife, Sheryl Goss, holds the top position in the very same company. A stable job and a loving partner – the perfect life. Unbeknownst to her, she is an important piece of a puzzle she herself needs to solve; one which will unveil the mystery of life force and memory transference and shed light on the events of her murky past.
~Created by Ratana Satis~ Read on Lezhin
Straight Girl Trap
• Shakaijin • Slice of Life • Romance
The regular office worker Zhan Ying, who is drama-queen at heart, recently encountered a question that made her face flush, heart pound, and become embarrassed at a complete loss. That is, she suddenly wondered if her cold queen boss Zhou Yuanyou, who is always taking care of her, has feelings for her?! Is it heartfelt, or is it just a straight trap? Zhan Ying didn't even have time to really think about it when she found herself already caught in the trap...
~Created by Jelly Without Ice and Lily Club, Illustrated by 42℃ Latte~ Read on Bilibili Comics
Soulmate
• Fantasy • Drama • Romance • Fated Lovers
Qi closed her eyes and fell asleep in the warm embrace of her girlfriend Yuanzi… only to wake up 10 years in the past! Now back in high school, Qi sees this as the chance to save the love of her life from becoming terminally ill. But little does she know that her teenage self is in her adult body, with no clue about the life she's built and the precious time she has left with Yuanzi. Throughout it all, with each other by their side, can their love conquer every obstacle, in any timeline?
~Created by Bing Ke Ran, Illustrated by Wenzhi LIzi~ Read on Tapas
Surprise! You’re Gay!
• Comedy • Romance
Some are born gay, some achieve gayness, and some have gayness thrust upon them.
~Created by laundromat&lawnmower~ Read on Webtoon
What Does the Fox Say?
• Shakaijin • Romance • Drama
As the newest hire of a game dev studio, beautiful Sungji draws all the attention of her coworkers — but it's her bossy and blunt team leader Sumin that intrigues her. Love is a whole new game for Sungji, and with company president Seju breaking (or was it laying?) down the rules, this new girl’s got her work cut out for her if she wants to win. Will she be able to give Sumin what she wants? Both the adult and all ages versions are available on TappyToon
~Created by Team Gaji~ Read on TappyToon
What Should I Do If I've Signed a Marriage Contract with the Elven Princess?
• Fantasy • Comedy • Slice of Life 
As the newest hire of a game dev studio, beautiful Sungji draws all the attention of her coworkers — but it's her bossy and blunt team leader Sumin that intrigues her. Love is a whole new game for Sungji, and with company president Seju breaking (or was it laying?) down the rules, this new girl’s got her work cut out for her if she wants to win. Will she be able to give Sumin what she wants?
~Created by Man Lin and Lily Club~ Read on Bilibili Comics
Would You? Could You?
• Drama • Romance • Slice of Life 
“Why didn't you accept my bouquet?” She asked, years later like it was the simplest thing. Chance brought Juna back into Yunseo's life but things were much more complicated now. They were no longer in college where the only obstacle between them were the truth yet spoken. Juna was married with a child, what could Yunseo do? As Saeha chases after Yunseo, Yunseo discovers even after all these years she'd still love Juna at the drop of a hat. The three women navigate through their feelings for another, each desperate and yearning for a chance to be accepted.
~Created by Manjogyeong, Illustrated by PP~ Read on Pocket Comics
Xian Chan Nu
• Historical • Supernatural • Adventure • Master/Servant
Liu Shiqing is a playful daughter born to a family of armed escorts. One time while sneaking out on another one of her adventures, she finds herself kidnapped by bandits. Moments before it all seemed to be over, Xian Chan Nu suddenly shows up and swoops her off her feet, saving her and stealing her heart. This is a story of humans and demons, masters and slaves; a tale of revenge and a tale of loyalty shall is only beginning to unfold.
~Created by Yy and Lily Club, Illustrated PIKAPI~ Read on Bilibili Comics
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nenchainzz · 2 months
Text
𝒲𝑒𝓁𝓉'𝓈 ℒ𝓊𝓈𝓉𝒻𝓊𝓁 𝒟𝑒𝓈𝒾𝓇𝑒𝓈
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Welt Yang x Fem!Reader
Warnings: cunnilingus, breeding kink, exhibitionism, missionary, cowgirl, masturbation, soft daddy dom!welt, blowjob, teasing, cock description
NSFW Alphabet
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A = Aftercare = Welt is ever the gentleman with you and caters to your every need. He does anything you need for aftercare (it really doesn’t matter what).
B = Body Part = His favorite on himself is probably his hands. He loves that he’s able to make you cum so quickly with them. On you, it’s hard to say, but either your hips or thighs. He loves gripping your hips and loves being between your thighs.
C = Cum = He prefers to cum inside you (not only because of breeding kink but also because he believes it to be cleaner that way).
D = Dirty Secret = Every time you guys go to a new planet, you guys welcome yourselves by fucking lmao. At first, it was an accident, but now it’s a tradition.
E = Experience = He’s got experience, so he knows exactly what to do with you and the quickest ways to make you cum, and the best way to make you scream.
F = Favorite Position = He loves both missionary and cowgirl. Both of these positions show him every part of you, and he loves that so very much.
G = Goofy = He’s not very goofy, I’d say. He might laugh at a joke you make or something related to that, but he wouldn’t initiate any comedy.
H = Hair = He’s pretty well groomed, nothing too special, because he doesn’t find it to be the biggest priority.
I = Intimacy = He is very romantic with you. He loves praising you, holding your hand, and setting up a romantic scene. He lives for it, honestly.
J = Jack Off = He will very rarely do it. It only occurs when he’s feeling pent up, and you’re not around.
K = Kink = Very rare and safe exhibitionism (like he only will do it if he knows you guys won’t actually get caught). He has a breeding kink, for sure. Bit of Daddy Dom energy from him, but more soft dom yk?
L = Location = He prefers nice hotels or the comfort of his room on the Astral Express.
M = Motivation = He really is a sucker for when you act all cutesy and beg for him - like that really gets him going.
N = No = He would never share you with anyone else.
O = Oral = He doesn’t have much of a preference since he enjoys both very much. He loves seeing you try your best to take his cock into your mouth. He also loves gripping your thighs back while kissing and sucking your clit with your fingers laced in his hair, edging him to go harder or faster.
P = Pace = Depends on his mood, but for the most part, he enjoys a rough pace - speed is less important to him.
Q = Quickie = He’s not opposed to them, but they’re occasional. Usually, they are at your request.
R = Risk = I don’t really see him straying too far from the norm you two have created. However, if you so wish (with his approval), he’ll try it.
S = Stamina = His stamina is pretty damn good. He’s probably overstimulating you quite often.
T = Toys = He’ll use the toys on you, but not himself. He enjoys using almost all toys, too, so get ready.
U = Unfair = He doesn’t really tease you unless it’s from a punishment.
V = Volume = He’s not very loud and groans mostly so only you can hear. He finds it a bit embarrassing tbh.
W = Wild Card = One time while you guys were fucking, the Astral Express made a jump to a new solar system. When the jump occurred, Welt came, and you almost fell off him because of the force of the jump. His cum got all over you and him lmao.
X = X-Ray = He’s packing around 8-8.5 inches, I’d say.
Y = Yearning = His sex drive isn’t all too high, and he finds sex a little less important than romance in a relationship lol.
Z = Zzz = He tries to wait for you to fall asleep first, but sometimes, when you hold him so sweetly in your ears, he can’t help but drift off.
★······★······★······★ ★······★······★······★ ★······★······★······★ ★······★······★
© f33blesch0lar 2024, all rights reserved. do not plagiarize, use for ai, copy, translate, or repost my content on any platform. comments, reblogs, and likes are loved
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ratchetsboyfriend · 4 months
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Welcome back to transformers fanfic (I found your blog during your hiatus, and I love your older work). Since requests are open, could you possibly write some soft MTMTE Drift headcannons of him watching a movie with a human reader? I’ve been a bit down recently, so I would really appreciate it.
Drift is willing to watch all of your favorites, even if he doesn't quite see the same appeal in them that you do. Depending on what your comfort movies are, he's gonna react differently. 
He's not sure why a brutal horror movie would be comforting, especially if you spend half of it cringing and hiding behind your hands, but hey if it floats your boat. Comedies aren't a bad choice to watch with him, some jokes don't land as well without the context of having lived on Earth, but some things are universally funny so he enjoys them enough even if some of the humor is… questionable. If you watch some of the more heart wrenching romantic movies he gets fairly invested, but the cheesy one's he'll good-naturedly tease you for liking even if he did enjoy some of them himself. Intense, dramatic movies that feature journeys of self-discovery and have more open endings are a particular favorite of his if you happen to put them on.
To ensure the best possible viewing experience, he sets up a projector in his hab suite so you can enjoy a more private viewing. There are movie nights for the whole crew but they can get pretty rowdy and that's not the kind of evening you two are looking for. More than one movie night has ended in a brawl.
His berth is lined with a plethora of cushions and blankets that have been sourced from various planets you've visited. Drift has plenty of money and he's more than happy to splurge on creature comforts like these and it's nice to go shopping for them together. He's also spared no expense on getting your favorite treats for the night, regardless of how much effort it took to source them. The way you light up when he presents them to you is worth every penny.
Whether you start out the night sitting next to him in a heap of blankets or nestled in his lap surrounded by pillows, you will end up sprawled across his chest by the end of the night. He lays out plenty of your soft cushions and blankets atop himself so that you can maintain maximum comfort while cuddling against his much harder frame. It's hard not to fall asleep like that in the middle of the movie since he'll absent-mindedly start stroking your back.
He doesn't mind talking during movies and will happily discuss the plot as it's happening, but if you're too focused on the story to speak he's just as good with silent viewing. He's particularly fond of when you get excited and point out your favorite scenes, making sure to pay special attention to those parts of the movie.
If you want to make watching movies together a regular occurrence, he'd agree immediately and would be delighted to help you pick what to watch in the future. Rewatching movies you've seen before or finding something new to view are both fine with him, it's spending quality time together that's important.
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snailsagere · 6 months
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Please read my dni in my bio before interacting
I made another sims 4 legacy challenge, this is different from my usual content so feel free to ignore if this isn't your kind of thing! :3
Anyway welcome to the Halloween legacy challenge! In this challenge you will play through different typical halloween 'monsters' and complete the requirements for each generation!
-Making your sims the different occults is optional, if you'd like you can loosely make a sim based off the occult but not actually make them that specific occult type!
-you can choose which requirements you'll do since I did include some alternatives if you're missing any packs however
-try to complete at least 6 requirements per generation (unless I didn't include enough alternatives and you don't own a pack)
The packs commonly used in the challenge are-
Vampires, island living, werewolves, cottage living, cats and dogs, realm of magic, paranormal and get to work
I used other packs too but these are the ones I'd recommend if you want to get the best experience of this challenge!
👻Ghost👻
You don't remember much about your past but now you're a ghost with a love for haunting music... wait can I smell burning?
Traits-
Loner
Music lover
Gloomy or paranoid (strangerville)
Aspiration-
Musical genius
Career-
Entertainer musician branch
Requirements-
👻become a ghost
👻reach level 10 of any music skill
👻live in a haunted house (paranormal stuff)
👻if you don't have paranormal, live with three ghosts which you cannot control
👻finish the crystals collection
👻your partner must die
👻don't have a good relationship with your kids, you're not around much anymore
👻get the needs no one reward trait
🧟Zombie🧟
...
Traits-
Clumsy
Loner or socially awkward (high school years)
Foodie
Aspiration-
Master chef
Career-
Culinary chef branch
Requirements-
🧟never do well in school and drop out as soon a possible
🧟reach level 10 cooking and gourmet cooking skill
🧟complete experimental food photos collection (dine out)
🧟if you don't have dine out, cook one of each meal throughout your life
🧟only introduce yourselves to others with the rude introduction
🧟go running atleast once a week
🧟never increase your logic and handiness skills past 1
🎈Clown🎈
You followed the same path as your parents you dropped out of school and discovered that you have a passion for making others laugh! No stop crying! I'm funny!
Traits-
Erratic
Goofball
Childish
Aspiration-
Joke star
Career-
Entertainer comedian branch
Requirements-
🎈drop out of school as soon as possible
🎈reach level 10 comedy skill
🎈have a job as a teen
🎈move to a different world once per in game week
🎈befriend the tragic clown
🎈always live in small houses never bigger than one bedroom or always live in tiny houses
🐺Werewolf🐺
You ran away from home to start a new life for yourself, you took whatever money you could and decided to live off the land in moonwood mill
Traits-
Hot-headed
Childish or dog lover (cats and dogs)
Loves outdoors
Aspiration-
Freelance botanist or Friend of the animals (cats and dogs) or Werewolf initiate (werewolves)
Career-
None, you must make money by selling plants from your garden
Requirements-
🐺become a werewolf
🐺'run away' from home as a teenager
🐺have triplets (you can cheat for this)
🐺own atleast one pet dog (cats and dogs)
🐺home school you kids (make your sims kids take 2 days off school per week)
🐺reach level 10 gardening
🐺use the simple living lot trait (cottage living)
🐺if you don't have cottage living use the off-the-grid lot trait
👽Alien👽
You're new to this planet and you want to learn all about it and perhaps explore the rest of space too
Traits-
Genius
Perfectionist
Loner or paranoid (strangerville)
Aspiration-
Nerd brain
Career-
Astronaut or Scientist (get to work)
Requirements-
👽become an alien
👽build a space ship
👽go to sixam (get to work)
👽if you don't have get to work, once you build the spaceship go to space once per week
👽go to university and join a club (discover university)
👽if you don't have discover university join a club (get together)
👽complete the aliens collection
👽go on holiday at least twice
👽reach level 10 in the handiness and rocket science skills
🧹Witch🧹
You've gained lots of knowledge over the years from your parents and now wish to fully use it with you trusty feline companion
Traits-
Genius
Bookworm
Perfectionist or cat lover (cats and dogs)
Aspiration-
The curator or Purveyor of potions (realm of magic)
Career-
Business
Requirements-
🧹become a spellcaster
🧹learn and craft all potion recipes (realm of magic)
🧹if you don't have realm of magic, buy all reward trait potions that cost under 500 points
🧹complete frog collection
🧹own atleast one cat (cats and dogs)
🧹reach level 10 charisma
🧹own and use a voodoo doll atleast five times
🧹own a herb garden
🧚Fairy🧚
You love nature and feel connected to plants and animals and wish to live within nature
Traits-
Goofball
Loves outdoors
Vegetarian
Aspiration-
Freelance botanist or Spellcraft and sorcerery (realm of magic)
Career-
Gardener
Requirements-
🧚become a spellcaster
🧚own a large garden
🧚use the simple living lot trait (cottage living)
🧚use the off the grid lot trait
🧚reach level 10 gardening and herbalism
🧚enter the finchwick fair once a week (cottage living)
🧚own atleast one animal
🌊Mermaid🌊
You love nature, the ocean and mischief, you wish to allure other sims to danger while living a peaceful life in the water
Traits-
Music lover
Romantic
Loves outdoors or Child of the ocean (island living)
Aspiration-
Chief of mischief or Beach life (island living)
Career-
Gardener or Teacher (discover university) or Conservationist (island living)
Requirements-
🌊be a mermaid
🌊move somewhere close to water or sulani
🌊only take baths
🌊reach level 10 singing and mischief skill
🌊complete the seashell collection (island living)
🌊befriend a dolphin (island living)
🌊if you don't have island living own five pet fish instead
🌊kill atleast one sim (your choice how)
🦴Skeleton🦴
You're a bit bonely but you want to meet more sims just like you and try to learn new things
Traits-
Gloomy or Squeamish (outdoor retreat)
Lazy
Loner or Socially awkward (high school years)
Aspiration-
Big happy family or Lord/lady of the knits (nifty knitting) or Jungle explorer (jungle adventure)
Career-
Freelance any or Critic (city living)
Requirements-
🦴go on atleast two holidays to selvadorada (jungle adventure)
🦴befriend a skeleton (jungle adventure or paranormal)
🦴own a cow plant, if it dies you must keep the skeleton and get a new one
🦴own a skeleton fish
🦴complete sugar skull collection
🦴unlock the forever full reward trait
🦇Vampire🦇
You are immortal and you want to be the most successful out the whole rest of your family, afterall you do have forever to do so
Traits-
Ambitious
Snob or Proper (snowy escape)
Materialistic or self absorbed (get famous)
Aspiration-
Mansion baron or Master vampire (vampires)
Career-
Secret agent or Law (discover university)
Requirements-
🦇become a vampire
🦇own a plasma fruit orchard (vampires)
🦇if you don't own vampires own and fruit orchard worth around 10,000 simolions (decorations in the orchard do contribute to the 10,000 simolions)
🦇live in a mansion
🦇reach level 10 in piano or pipe organ skill
🦇have at least 100,000 simolions
🦇have at least one enemy
🦇master the vampire lore skill and complete the vampire skill tree (vampires)
🦇if you don't own vampires unlock the never weary and forever full reward traits
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1997thebracket · 6 months
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Round 2B
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Note: this is our threeway matchup to even the numbers going forward! The two highest-voted films will both proceed, and the third will be eliminated.
Space Jam: Come on and slam, and welcome to the jam! What happens when one of the biggest athletes in the world tries his hand at acting-- alongside the Looney Tunes, no less? A confusing but lovable cinematic treasure. In the half-animated comedy Space Jam, basketball legend (oft-cited as the Greatest of All Time) Michael Jordan and the Tune Squad face off against the dastardly Monstars for their intergalactic freedom. Space Jam was the first film produced by Warner Bros Feature Animation, and although it was first released theatrically in the US in November of 1996 it would go on to gross over $250 million during its global run into 1997, making it the highest-grossing basketball movie of all time until 2022. From the slapping soundtrack to the classic jersey designs now coming back into retro-rotation, Bugs and his crew could not feel more firmly planted in the sensibility of the decade. Space Jam also features Wayne Knight of Seinfeld fame flattened in a truly haunting use of crude CGI. Look up 'flat Newman' if you've forgotten.
Austin Powers: Let’s keep this bracket groovy, baby! Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery is a spy spoof film released in 1997, written by and starring Mike Myers and featuring Elizabeth Hurley, as well as known names in the spy movie business Michael York and Robert Wagner. It was the first introduction of the titular icon-to-be Austin Powers, a free-loving secret agent who was cryogenically frozen in the 1960s, returned to us in all his velvet-suited snaggle-toothed glory in the ‘90s to face his nemesis once more. Parodying James Bond and copycat spy films as well as '60s pop culture, the movie would spawn two sequels and novelizations all sharing a similar sense for fashion, gags, and Austin’s recognizable catchphrases. As completely goofy as the film and its legacy is, critics were mostly favorable, with the New York Times writing "The film's greatest asset is its gentle tone: rejecting the smug cynicism of Naked Gun-style parodies, it never loses the earnest naiveté of the psychedelic era." (This is presumably an embarrassing typo: it’s shagadelic, Yorkie baby!)
Men In Black: Fifteen hundred years ago, everybody knew the Earth was the center of the universe. Five hundred years ago, everybody knew the Earth was flat, and fifteen minutes ago, you knew that humans were alone on this planet. Imagine what you'll know tomorrow. Men in Black is a sci-fi comedy, starring Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones, which would go on to spawn a franchise after the success of the 1997 film. It centers around a secret government agency known as the Men in Black, tasked with monitoring and regulating extraterrestrial activity on Earth; these agents, notably our protagonists Agent J and Agent K, protect humanity from aliens living among us and ensure the world remains oblivious to their existence. The franchise was praised by critics and audiences alike for its unique screenplay, action sequences, and the humor and chemistry of the lead actors. Over the years, Men in Black has expanded to include multiple sequels, an animated series and spin-offs, all contributing to its enduring popularity as a cheekier take on the sci-fi genre.
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cindereleanor · 6 months
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Ace Podcast Week Day 4 - Past/Future
It’s time for a ✨poll✨! I tell you some podcasts I have enjoyed in the past, and then please help me pick what I should listen to in the future!
My all-time favourite fiction podcasts are Welcome to Night Vale and The Strange Case of Starship Iris. Another couple I've enjoyed relatively recently are The Pasithea Powder and Second Star to the Left. (Yes, I do love sci-fi, why do you ask?) On a slightly different vein, I'm also a big fan of improv comedy, and enjoy podcasts in that realm too (eg. Hello From the Magic Tavern!)
(I didn't include an 'other' option, but if this makes you go "I can't believe *insert podcast here* isn't on the list", pleaseee recommend it to me!!!)
(Oh and if anyone is about to suggest that Starfall would be right up my alley, the only reason it isn't on the poll is because I've *just* started listening to it!)
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lorenzobane · 1 year
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Happy Evil Author's Day to me :) This one is called "Federation Viewpoint," and I do hope to finish it one day. Basically, this one takes the framing device of the 5 things Garak learned about the Federation prior to his exile.
--
Prologue
“Welcome,” Grentak says, “to A Federation Overview for Non-Federation Specialists. If you were looking for “An Overview of Causeway Nations for Federation Specialists,” that is down the hall.” 
Garak hears a few muffled footsteps and curses as a few other Order agents shuffle out of the room. Internally, he can’t help but think this is a profound waste of time. He specializes in what the Order terms “Causeway Nations.” Or, Non-Federation worlds that, while usually not allies of Cardassia, do tend to share a general antipathy for the tendencies of Starfleet. He’s learned Klingon, Romulan, Tzenkath, and a few others and considers himself an expert on their culture. 
Why he also needs to receive an overview of an empire he never intends to see is beyond him. 
The presenter, Grentak, starts talking again after the shuffle is complete. “I’m sure several of you are wondering about the wisdom of this course. It must seem highly inefficient and hardly furthering the Cardassian empire. However, we have found that this type of broad basis of understanding of overall Alpha Quadrant politics greatly improves the overall efficacy of our agents.”
What follows is a somewhat tedious history lesson that Garak is aware of; the Federation was founded out of a mixture of Vulcan, Andorian, Tellurite, and Earth cultures and represented a “Federation” of planets, not a nation the way the Cardassian Empire might understand it. To Garak it sounds horrendously divided and weak because of it. 
Nonetheless, he pulls out his PADD and begins taking notes. 
—-----------
Chapter 1 
“One of the most striking tendencies of humans, specifically, is an almost unbearable urge to pack bond,” Grentak begins. “Pack bonding, as you may be aware, refers to the tendency of social animals to group together to form strong social bonds that allow for greater problem-solving. A great many cultures are prone to it, Cardassia very much included. However, humans take this tendency to a remarkable extreme. They can form deep, intense, and lasting bonds with creatures of nearly any species.” 
Garak scoffs internally.
“As a result, we often tell our agents if you want information from a human, it makes very little sense to cause pain. It makes them lie. If, however, you are able to gain their trust and convince them that you are one of their ever-expanding pack, then they will give you information without you even having to ask. This technique was used to great effect by–” 
“Well, if you ask me,” Bashir says, gesturing with one hand, “the book was a terrible tragedy.” 
Garak’s eyebrows shoot up. He had given Bashir a reasonably famous comedy from the Cardassian Empire, Sanctions of Destruction. Written in the late Shri-Ep dynasty, the book has many of the staples that would eventually become commonplace in the literature of the state. 
“Tragedy, Doctor? I think you’ll find that you are actually reading one of the most famous comedies of all time.” 
Bashir takes a beat and then laughs. Garak raises an eyebrow ridge. 
“Nothing, it's just… There is a famous human playwright, Shakespeare, and people often say that his tragedies can be as funny as his comedies, and his comedies can be as sad as his tragedies.” 
“What is it that you found so tragic, Doctor?” 
“Well,” Bashir starts before taking a long drag of his tea, “you can’t help but feel bad for poor Mila.” 
Garak withholds the wince. Mila, one of the main characters, marries a man who she strongly dislikes at the urging of her father. The name of the titular character is a coincidence, he assures himself. 
“Of course, but the comedy comes from her resistance. Ultimately, a good Cardassian knows that we all must serve the state first but our family second. Her hesitation and attempts at obfuscation and delay create circumstances that need to be frantically dealt with instead of the calm leisure of discipline and service.” 
“I suppose I thought she would be happy in the end; you told me it was a light-hearted comedy. I agree that our loved ones are important, and their considerations should be valued, but surely you know people can be wrong just as Cardassians can be wrong. Who is to say that this man her father chose for her would be compatible?” 
“He’s from a good family,” Garak counters. “He was raised with good values. Her father likes his parents. These traits indicate that they are likely to share a world view that will eventually lead to a prosperous union and many children.” 
“Fat Cardassian babies,” Bashir says with an amused twinkle in his eye. “In any case, I can’t imagine being happy with something like that.” 
“Of course not, Doctor. You are entirely too self-motivated.”
“Are you calling me selfish?” 
Garak held up a hand peaceably. “Surely no one could accuse such a dedicated doctor of selfishness. And if I understand correctly, humans are allowed to reap the benefits of the empire without contributing to it unless they are personally interested.” 
“First of all,” Bashir laughs, “thank you for the compliment. Second, the Federation isn’t an Empire.” 
“We can get into that particular bit of sophistry later. For now, I am afraid I have to go- Morn has made an appointment for yet another pair of custom lingerie. I certainly appreciate the value of a variable wardrobe, but that man should learn to repurpose.”
“You really ought to hire someone, you know.” 
Garak gave him a customer service smile. “Such excellent advice, Doctor. I’ll be sure to take it under advisement.” 
Julian raised both of his hands in a human gesture for surrender. “Fine, then. Be that way. Don’t work yourself too hard, though; I hate when my friends end up in my sickbay.” 
Garak’s brain spirals for a moment, but Bashir keeps chattering about how he wishes he could impress upon everyone in the station the importance of thinking through the consequences of interspecies mating before they take their pants off. A friend. Was it really so simple for humans? Julian had, only recently, saved him from certain death, but Garak had been under no illusions. The Doctor helped because he was helpful, and the doctor was kind to him because the doctor is kind. But here they are. He had been cruel, difficult, and insulting, and yet– 
Humans will pack bond with anything. A voice haunts his mind. It appears that Garak, of all people, might be considered, by a particularly stunning and accomplished human, to be worth forming a bond with. To be worth knowing and trusting deeply. The Order agent in him crows; how much could he make the good Doctor give him now that they have established trust? Could he get enough information to go back to Cardassia?
Garak shakes his head at his own foolishness. Tain is the only one who can end his exile, and if there were information that Bashir had that Tain wanted, he never would have been let off the planet. 
Which means… Which means… 
Garak has simply… Made a friend. 
As he walks away, he can’t help but remember the warmth, the joy in Bashir’s eyes, the way his mouth twisted along the edge of his dessert spoon, and think that Federation's insidiousness goes much further than he realized. 
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rhysdarbinizedarby · 2 years
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25 years of standout storytelling and stand-up
by Madelaine Empson
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Rhys Darby is one of New Zealand’s most successful comedy exports. It all started with stand-up for the world-famous comedian and actor, who set out on the scene in Christchurch in the 90s. In 2004 after his move to the UK, Darby landed the BBC radio series Flight of the Conchords with Bret McKenzie and Jemaine Clement. He returned to the role of band manager Brian-now-Murray in the 2007 HBO American television series that jumpstarted a phenomenal career in the entertainment industry and helped fulfil his long-standing dream of becoming a comedy actor.
“I guess all my stand-up was building up to that moment of being able to act and thankfully with my friends”, Darby tells me. “We had a good laugh and we created a really, really cool show. Everything else kind of came after that.”
There’s a lot to cover in that “everything else”, including starring alongside Jim Carrey in Yes Man (2008), joining the star-studded cast of Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle (2017) and Jumanji: The Next Level (2018), moving to LA, and scoring something he always wanted: “to be a lead in a comedy series and getting to dress up in historical outfits” in Our Flag Means Death (2022).
Through it all, Darby never strayed far from his stand-up roots. He’s performed his distinctive brand of physical comedy, zany storytelling, and obscure observations all around the world and now returns to New Zealand with a retrospective show featuring the best bits of his five specials almost in order – from early robot and dinosaur impressions right through to material from Mystic Time Bird (2017).
“You’ve seen my stand-up, now see it again!”
Darby invites Wellington fans old and new to The Opera House on the 19th of August to join the 25-Year Celebration Club, which he just came up with on our Zoom call.
“Yes, I’m just starting that now.”  
How does it feel to be celebrating your silver jubilee in stand-up?
It’s really bizarre. My last special Mystic Time Bird was about my mother’s passing. My own therapy was to create that show, to see the lighter side of everything and to think about how we may live again, what our spirits really are, and who we are as beings on this planet. Once I’d done that, I felt like the world had gone in such a transformed and a very positive way, but also a bizarre way whereby I found that I was less relevant – as a comic, as a performer, as just a middle-aged white guy. I felt like, and rightfully so, it’s not about me anymore so I would take a step back. I felt like [Mystic Time Bird] was a good one to end on.
When it comes to stand-up, I only realised this year that it has been 25 years. All these new fans that have watched Our Flag Means Death hadn’t seen my stand-up and started looking at it online. I was just inundated with comments and people retweeting stuff, a lot of TikTok stuff, people discovering me for the first time. It gave me a rebirth in a way, made me feel like my stuff must still be relevant. I looked at it and it really is just pure happiness. There’s nothing offensive to anyone. It’s just about laughter for laughter’s sake, me taking the piss out of myself in awkward situations, me as a human, and me being confident enough, without realising it, over time, to just put my weirdness out there and be proud of it. I think that resonated with a lot of people, especially the LGBTQ-plus community. They really started loving my stuff, and I felt like I was becoming a captain in a way.
So I spoke to my wife – let’s do some gigs. Let’s celebrate 25 years, set something up and just see if people come. This is in the States, where I haven’t done much stand-up because I wasn’t famous enough over there. It was an experiment of sorts. Anyway, experiment goes really well. They all sold out. There was an army of mostly queer, but all absolutely stoked to see me, fans, and with gifts. I was just in tears most of the nights. I felt good that I was sort of championing them, and amazing that they had discovered me and were wanting to see me live.
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Looking back over those 25 years to your very first stand-up gig, were you always putting that weirdness out there?
I’ve always been honest with myself and have performed what I think is funny. I’m definitely quirky. I’m not for everyone, and I understand that, but it does frustrate me because I think it should be for everyone! Some people do want darker stuff or something different. I have always had stuff that is unique in some ways. I’m a massive fan of Monty Python, surreal comedy from Rowan Atkinson and Spike Milligan and those guys from the 70s – alternative comedy that was definitely weird, and there’s probably a bit of that in there. My stuff was original, New Zealand-based, I talked a lot about things in this country that I found really silly and baffling after going overseas and coming back. It’s kind of a celebration of how weird I think we are. I think that’s what made the comedy that me and The Conchords and Taika [Waititi] do become world-famous, because we have a different take on life. It is positive. We don’t belittle anyone. We just like to take the mickey out of who we are, because I think we’re confident that we live in a country that we’re blessed with, because it is a good place.
At the start, did you imagine what might be on the cards for you?
I honestly believed that I was gonna go all the way, because I just had the passion and the drive for it. When I got to the UK, it was the best training ground ever. There are over 300 comedy clubs in London alone. I was working five nights a week, two or three gigs a night. You’ve got to train yourself to be able to repeat things. The UK, they are the most experienced audience in the world, and because they’re British, if they don’t like something they’ll just heckle you straight away. They’re smart and they’re drunk. I had to learn to be quick. And if something didn’t work, you drop it and change it. I had the novelty of being from here, so I had a different voice. But the main thing I had going for me was that my style, my impressions of jet aeroplanes, stories, music, sound effects, bizarre monsters, different characters and things was I think something they hadn’t seen before. What’s this guy doing? He’s not just telling jokes.
I was headlining some clubs, I’d done six, maybe seven Edinburgh Festivals, I’d done This Way to Spaceship, which was my most successful show internationally. But my main goal was to get onto television, onto a sketch show. I wanted desperately to act. The comedy acting side of things didn’t happen for me in the UK. Getting The Conchords radio show with Bret and Jemaine, while we were in Edinburgh, and then turning it into a TV show, and that opening the doors to me coming to America was something I didn’t foresee happening. But it opened up everything and I could be the comedy actor I always thought I’d end up being. I thought it would be England, but they were still like, ‘Who are you, you’re from some colony down the other end of the world?’ The US has been so good to me. They open their arms up to everyone. I’ve never looked back.
You’ve worked with some huge names. Do you get starstruck yourself?
With actors, yeah! I don’t know how it’s happened, but my first movie was with Jim Carrey. I just had to suck it up and meet the guy. The scenes we did together were so special because I got to act alongside my idol and do some pretty zany stuff. Watching his physicality was just something that I was in awe of. He did one scene at this bar where he had a tray of drinks, and he knows exactly where the cameras are and how to manipulate them as an actor. He would come in and he did something where he fell over with the tray of drinks. He fell out of shot and back into shot and fell out and back in again, some sort of weird physical moment, which looked amazing on screen. And then he told me he broke a rib doing that scene like two weeks later. What!
Then it was The Boat That Rocked [2009]. Emma Thompson, Bill Nighy, pretty much anyone in that cast. Philip Seymour Hoffman, that was a big one. Rest in peace. Meeting him and knowing that he was one of the best actors in the world, and he had no idea who I was... I just felt like I had won a competition. ‘Hi I’m the guy that won the competition to be in the movie with you!’ He ended up going and watching Conchords. I think Richard Curtis gave him the DVD and all of a sudden he was like, ‘Oh yeah, I'll act with you!’ It was a rite of passage.
I’m okay with meeting my heroes. But The Rock. I mean, guys, come on, ridiculous. Can I do a movie where there aren’t the most famous people in the world? Dwayne was lovely. Jack Black as well, just very open to having a chat. But I’ve been prepared for meeting those people. I think it’s part of being an actor, when you meet someone you’re absolutely starstruck by, you just pretend you’re not. And then you go home and cry. I went to Monty Python live in 2014, I was very, very lucky. I was just sitting there crying. Oh my god. I felt like those were my dads, you know? I’ve met one or two of those guys briefly, but they would be the ones where I would probably struggle the most to act as though I’m not excited to see them.
‘This is fine, this is absolutely fine.’
I’m fine, I’m absolutely fine! Here, I’ll quickly share a selfie! And then I’ll run away and you won’t see me crying!
What are you most looking forward to about bringing the ‘new-old show’ back to New Zealand, particularly Wellington?
I’m excited to bring it to New Zealand because this is where it all began, where my biggest audiences always were. In this day and age in time, where everyone seems to be down because the world’s imploding on many levels, hopefully they can forget about everything for an hour and a half and just laugh at the silly guy on stage.
The Opera House is, in my opinion, the best room in the country. Welly has a real heart for theatre and a heart for performance. It’s magical to be able to return there and just take it all in.
Photo: Kate Little Photography
Source: Regional News: Eyes on Wellington
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giogio1998 · 10 months
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Ok nerds, hear me the fuck out !!
This is my fancast for the JLI, but before we all lose it I need a quick disclaimer: this fancast is what I think the JLI could look like in a live action movie, this isn’t serious and I think if this movies were to exist it would be a comedy movie bc it’s the JLI, they’re not supposed to be taken seriously by anyone!!!!
With that in mind this is my fancast and I’ll walk you through it, let’s go:
Blue Beetle (Ted Kord):
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Logan Lerman, off to a great start, i know (lol). Based on Logan’s roles throughout his career I think he would be a great Ted Kord bc he can play a nice, wholesome guy and I think he looks like the character as well. Like Ted, you would wanna put him in a jar and protect him from the world. Also he hasn’t been in many movies recently and I miss him, he deserves better.
Booster Gold (Michael J. Carter):
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Lucas Till, just look at him !!! You cannot tell me he doesn’t look exactly like booster, you can’t !!! Besides Lucas has been in many action productions from movies to tv shows BUT he was also the love interest in the Hannah Montana movie THATS RANGE, he can play a the super hero and the goof we all know and love. And again, look at him !!!!
Green lantern (Guy Gardner):
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Dacre Montgomery. Ok, Guy is a hard one to cast bc he is the biggest asshole in the world but we also love him bc he’s part of the JLI, we need someone that can play a jerk but can also have a redeeming plot bc again, we love him. And in my opinion dacre is the guy (get it ? Guy ?) I mean, u saw him as Billy in stranger things, he’s a great actor, he is perfect for this role.
Now comes the exciting part, the gurls.
Ice (tora olafsdotter):
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Sophie Turner. Do I even have to say anything at this point? Look at her she IS Tora. You’ve seen Sophie in GOT you know she can play the baddest bitch on the planet while playing a sweet girly girl and that’s Tora right there. She can carry this role easily and I think she looks just like Tora she’s also very tall wich is great considering she’s playing a Norwegian woman.
Ok, now we need to have a talk about this next one, HEAR ME OUT.
Fire (Beatriz Bonilla da Costa):
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Selena Gomez. I know what you’re gonna say: “she’s not Brazilian”. Yeah I know (I’m Brazilian myself) but let’s be realistic, it’s Hollywood, they don’t care, they don’t even know the difference between Latinos and frankly, so doesn’t the rest of the world. So if we’re gonna have a Latina play Fire it would be great to have one the most loved latinas in the world playing her. I love Selena Gomez, she’s a great actress and she can play a bad bitch and a lovely girl just like Bea. And I even got this photo to help you visualize (you’re welcome btw) and I think she looks amazing, I would add green eye contacts to the mix but I think she would nail it. And also, as a Brazilian myself she has my blessing to play fire U.U
Martian Manhunter (J’onn J’onzz):
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Terry Crews, remember when I said that this movie has to be a comedy?? I always thought that Martian Manhunter would be a great comic relief bc of the breach of expectation considering he’s supposed to be a very serious character and to me Terry Crews would be PERFECT for this role, not only he can play a very intimidating character he is also one of the funniest actors out there, also with Martian’s ability to shape shift I would love to see terry play a range of things martian can turn into. I love him.
Max Lord:
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Zac Efron, here’s what I’m thinking for this one: Max has to be played by someone that we really love so when it’s reveled that he’s the villain we feel even more betrayed and I think Zac is our guy. Bc everybody loves Zac efron, if you don’t you’re dead on the inside, and Zac had shown us that he can play a villain role, the man played Ted B*ndy for fuck sake’s !! He can carry this role easily.
And last but not least
Batman (Bruce Wayne):
I have no idea, this is the only one I can’t think of, bc although I love BatPat I don’t think Robert is a great fit for this particular fictional project lol, this would be a comedy movie and Robert’s version of the Batman is super serious, besides I wanted the main JLI and Batman and Martian to have a bit of an age gap to show how immature the JLI is compared to household name super heroes like the Batman you know ? So if you have a suggestion let me know bc I can’t think of anyone.
That’s it nerds, this is my fancast for the fictional JLI movie. James Gunn if you’re seeing this give me a call, I have some ideas LOL. Let me know what you think in the comments, bye ✌🏻
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cisthoughtcrime · 6 months
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I'm in my pre-Halloween horror binge, just tried the 2019 movie Brightburn (a few plot spoilers but not a review, just dropping a thought)
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esp given how thoroughly superhero-fatigued I am after the last 15yrs of Marvel/DC's advertising campaign inspired by uninterrupted air raid sirens, an unaffiliated subversion of the genre was welcome.
for those who don't know what it's about, it's basically
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I didn't think it was particularly special as a movie and it seems like most reviewers agree, but I'm setting aside stylistic criticism of the movie's execution and getting to the point: none of the commentary I've found so far on the plot latches onto the gendered aspect. that's what I wanted to prompt you (radblr) about.
(Yes, yes, the point is more about "good thing Clark Kent has a moral compass that aligns with humanity's interests cuz wow if he were interested in world domination and apathetic about killing we would be Fucked" and, no, I don't want to get dragged into the comic lore about his parents imparting him with specific values or any discussion about the similarities to the premise of Invincible.)
I was thinking about how heavily the premise is arguably influenced by the maleness of the superpowered alien kid (Clark Kent / Brandon Breyer). We have a male director, male writers, and a male producer coming together to tell the story of a socially alienated (and literally alien) boy mired in his repressed violent urges and his discovered inheritance of a legacy of conquest. While it's clear that we're not exactly supposed to be rooting for him and that he's not a 'hero', my immediate read was that this is the narrative framing found in the manifestos of incels and shooters. The way they built up Brandon's anger and isolation followed a recognisable path: at the cusp of puberty, his temperament changes suddenly and for the worse; he's bullied and begins to view himself as a martyr for it; when a girl is kind and sympathetic towards him, he becomes obsessed with her and stalks her and scares her; when she correctly identifies him as a pervert, he crushes her hand; when his mother tells him the upsetting truth about his origins, he trashes her house and kills his crush's mother who had gotten him in trouble for severely injuring her daughter; when his parents try to stop him, he kills them (with a big emphasis on the mother's love for him). I'm not arguing anything about the intent of the movie, I'm just pointing out the centrality of the 'male manifest destiny' world view we know from copious real life examples, and it's a story we've seen many times before.
all this to lead up to my main question for y'all:
what if she were female? not actual superman and not even necessarily horror, but a reimagining of the premise from the scratch ingredients like this (think of what Ann Kelley's Koh Tabu was to Lord of the Flies, not the unambiguously-still-a-superhero-story execution of Supergirl).
On a non-horror side, I imagine there's potential for a story of suppressed strength, of pretending to be weaker/reliant/lesser while fearing the irrevocable consequences of failing to keep secret her exceptional gifts, until she's freed by her discovery that her power being greater than men's isn't something broken in her. On the horror side, I can see two main angles: one would be horror-tragedy, where she has an almost Princess Kagura life in which, unbeknownst to her, she is a visitor to our planet for just one lifetime, blessed with curiosity and scrappiness and the capacity to improve our world... but her potential both to save and even to experience the earth is stifled by the expectations of her as a woman. The other horror angle would be more like Carrie meets Brightburn but without the incel mentality: the alienation goes hand-in-hand with the constant reinforcement of her 'female inferiority' and she finally fucking snaps (I'm picturing that one similar scene of Yennefer's explosive unleashing of her power).
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The feminist comedy angle on the last one would be following the world's reaction and news coverage each time some male general is confident he can bring her down (I always think of what you see when you read ancient Roman men's writing about formidable contemporary female enemies of the state like Cleopatra or Boudicca; insisting that she's just a woman and not a serious threat, but having to explain how she keeps outsmarting them).
TLDR: I'd be curious to hear radfem thoughts on the basic premise of "overpowered humanoid alien grows up female on Earth"
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jonfucius · 8 months
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Great Star Trek Rewatch - The Original Series S2
Originally posted on Twitter 26 October 2020 - 2 December 2020
Star Trek: The Original Series Season 2 is up next in my Great Star Trek Rewatch. As with ENT, DSC, STX, and TOS Season 1, mini-reviews will document my progress.
Amok Time: After 29 episodes and some contradictory continuity, we finally get the first concrete details on Mr. Spock and the Vulcan species. A classic fight scene rounds out a strong start to Season 2. 8/10
Who Mourns for Adonais?: A decent early Season 2 entry. The giant green space hand is iconic, but the meat of the story rises above. Thanks to this episode, it became tradition that chief engineers on the starships Enterprise can't catch a break in the romance department. 7/10
The Changeling: A dry run of sorts for the superior Star Trek: The Motion Picture. The second time Kirk talks a computer to death, and it's a slow burn to the climax. 6/10
Mirror, Mirror: One of the most enduring concepts across Trek's 50+ year history is the Mirror Universe. This is still one of the best Mirror Universe tales, simply for its originality and focus. 9/10
The Apple: A Prime Directive debate and some red shirt massacres forms the crux of this otherwise forgettable episode. Definitely not one I'd revist on a whim. Not terrible, just mediocre. 5/10
The Doomsday Machine: This one and "Balance of Terror" jockey back and forth for #1 on my list of the best TOS episodes. William Windom's performance is superb, the titular device is scary (I hid behind the sofa when I watched this one as a kid), and the score is iconic. 10/10
Catspaw: Star Trek and Halloween don't go very well together. Even though this has an ostensibly scientific explanation, it still reeks of magic and sorcery. It is goofy, that's why it gets 4/10.
I, Mudd: This one starts slow but turns into a classic comedy by the end. Carmel is back as Mudd, though the portrayal of his wife is problematic at best. 7/10
Metamorphosis: This poignant love story with a solid sci-fi hook just clicks for me. It’s not the best but it just works. 9/10
Journey to Babel: Season 2 is definitely Spock-focused, and those episodes have not disappointed. This is a classic for good reason: action, pathos, humor, world-building. 10/10
Friday’s Child: Tonal problems keep this one from joining the ranks of the true classics. It’s serviceable but dreadfully slow in the middle. The Capellans are a fascinating race, it’s too bad we don’t see them again. 6/10
The Deadly Years: Impressive 60s aging makeup aside, this one doesn’t do much for me. The old age jokes are stereotypes, though the use of elderly actors in the first act is ingenious. And a rare bit of serialization with a callback to “The Corbomjte Maneuver” is welcome. 6/10
Obsession: Kirk gets some backstory and dimension in a tight, tense script. This is a well-paced acting showcase for Shatner. 9/10
Wolf in the Fold: This would have made for an excellent Halloween episode. A gaseous/energy being is easier to believe than the “Catspaw” transmuter, oddly enough. The line about women being easier to scare, and the Kara dance, are typical ugly 60s sexism, unfortunately. 7/10
The Trouble with Tribbles: A fuzzy thing happens on the way to Sherman’s Planet. A classic that thoroughly earns the title, it’s endlessly rewatchable and filled to the brim with classic gags, one-liners, and scenes for the entire cast. 10/10
The Gamesters of Triskelion: Angelique Pettyjohn’s look is iconic, but not much else about this episode is. A huge letdown after the preceding episode. 5/10
A Piece of the Action: An excellent palate cleanser after the preceding dud. Really wish we could follow up on the Iotians some day. I forgot how funny this episode is. 9/10
The Immunity Syndrome: Season 2 giveth, and Season 2 taketh away. The concept of a spaceborne lifeform is compelling, but this is otherwise a dog of a show. 4/10
A Private Little War: when the show tackles the Vietnam allegory, it sings. When it focuses on Nona, it falters under the weight of 60s’ sexism and bigotry. 7/10
Return to Tomorrow: A different take on the non-corporeal beings trope that hangs around TOS like an albatross, this one is more nuanced and subtle than most. Come for Nimoy’s delightful villain performance, stay for the poignant denouement. 8/10
Patterns of Force: An examination of how easy it is for a society to fall in love with fascism misses the mark by claiming power and not racism was the animus of Nazism, much like Confederate apologists claim the Civil War was about rights and not slavery. 0/10
By Any Other Name: The Kelvans’ powers are frightening, but it’s an episode I just can’t get excited about, except for Scotty drinking one under the table. 6/10
The Omega Glory: Gene, your über-patriotism is showing. Another late Season 2 letdown. 3/10
The Ultimate Computer: TOS has a serious distrust of powerful computers/AI that fades somewhat in the later series. Daystrom is a tragic figure, and the horror of the murder of the Excalibur’s crew is effectively conveyed. 8/10
Bread and Circuses: The social commentary is on point, but two parallel Earth stories in three weeks is somewhat tiresome. Still, an entertaining yarn. 7/10
Assignment: Earth: I’m ambivalent on this back door pilot. I like the Gary Seven character, and I normally enjoy time travel stories, but it just doesn’t do a whole lot for me. It’s not excellent, it’s not bad, it just is. 6/10
And with that, Season 2 of TOS comes to an end in my Great Star Trek Rewatch. Final score: 6.77/10. Highest score(s): "The Doomsday Machine," "Journey to Babel," "The Trouble with Tribbles." Lowest score(s): "Patterns of Force"
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lionofchaeronea · 1 year
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All right, I have an incredibly (un)important decision to make, and I welcome the thoughts of the vast Tumblr hive mind.
I have a reading knowledge of a number of languages, but the only modern language I truly feel comfortable speaking (other than English, of course) is German. This being the case, I've made a resolution to achieve fluency in at least one Romance language in 2023. The question, then, is which one: Spanish, French, or Italian. Each has its advantages.
-Spanish is the language with the most obvious and immediate utility, given the very large population of first- or second-language Spanish speakers in the United States. Mastering it would also mean I would have an excuse to visit the Museo del Prado in Madrid, which has been a dream of mine for many, many years.
-French is (at least in my humble opinion) perhaps the most euphonic language on the planet. Mastering it would also mean I would have an excuse to visit Paris, which...come on. It's Paris.
-Italian is the Romance language of which I have the fullest knowledge, having studied it for a summer in Florence some years ago. True fluency would also allow me to read the DIvine Comedy in the original - a definite plus. And finally, there's the fact that I would happily seize upon any pretext to return to Italy.
So, what say you, my friends? Which of the three should I pick?
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mytastessuck · 5 months
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Smosh: Dixon Cider
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Welcome to Clown College.
Another Smosh song for this blog (the other one actually got likes...what the hell is wrong with all of you?) and it's one I feel disproportionately strongly about. It's a song about apple cider, supposedly written to support a failing business and, gonna spoil the joke right now, "Dixon Cider" is a homonym for "dicks inside her", a joke that is the keystone of the song. More typical late 2000s-early 2010s sophomoric humor, right?
No duh. And it's still one of my favorite comedy songs from the era.
Having grown up with sex-obsessed R&B/hip-hop, I have a special place in my heart for songs that take the piss out of it, even if it's by the whitest dudes on the planet. The song is competently sung, the jokes are chuckleworthy and the even the bad rap breakdown isn't distractingly awful. I even have a favorite lyric:
It don't matter who you are White, black, Asian or Hispanic There's no need to panic You know that shit's organic
That's so fucking stupid it's hilarious. But I remember this song for another reason: it's disappointing ending.
Right there, at the end, they just come out and say the whole song is a joke about oral sex. That's not funny, it's lazy. Yes, there are ways to explain the joke outright and still be funny but these guys chose to intentionally faceplant rather than actually think of even a lame joke or even just dropping the cow.
Think I'm being pedantic? There's only one way to solve that. Here's another more obscure video:
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This song has the same concept (Deck sounds like Dick...vaguely. If you're saying it fast/not paying attention) and is more amatuerish in its execution. Nobody's really trained to sing, the production values are minor, people just randomly show up to add onto a lame joke...but its ending blows Dixon Cider's out of the water with an actual joke. The wife complains about Dale using up the water to the point she can't take a shower. Song over, Dale sheepishly walks back in the house...and pops his head out of the dogdoor for the punchline:
"Also, I fuck my wife on the reg."
Boom. That's what this whole song was about. Dale didn't explain the joke, he just dropped the subtlety. Am I detail-obsessed? Yes. Does my point stand? I dunno. You read somebody bitch about a Smosh song for an entire post. A Smosh song. You judge who's weirder.
Song Score (Dixon Cider): 8.5/10
Song Score (Dads Are Getting Their Decks Wet): 7.5/10
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