#well newsflash to all you are on the blog of a woman who does not have sex so this went to a surprisingly sfw place lol

[starkstruck27]

do you go out of your way to like shitty characters?

No, but I DO go out of my way to clarify why I like them. It's because

NEWSFLASH!!

They're F I C T I O N A L!!

I assume this ask was meant to call me out for liking Billy Hargrove, mostly, though you did say characters plural, so maybe there's more. But I'll tell you the real reason I like them: I identify with them. They aren't perfect, but neither am I, and I'd rather see the flaws in them and think that if given time and opportunity they could change those harmful things instead of thinking that that's what makes them unlovable. If we're talking specifically with Billy (like I assume we are) I see myself in him because I too grew up in a household where violence and pressure to be perfect all the time loomed over me pretty much 24/7. I know where all his anger and emotional instability comes from because I've felt it, too, and I also know how it feels to have my views on the world and its people influenced by the person who controls my entire life. For example, my mother is a Christian woman, so I grew up Christian, and even now, if I say I like something like the band Ghost (who often poke at religion and tend to lean towards more satanic views on the surface) she'll think I'm a Satanist and start to worry about me. So as a result, by now I just go along with whatever she says so that I avoid the argument that will inevitably come if I try and say any different. It's the same kind of thing with Billy, he knows how his father feels, and he knows he'll be in trouble if he or Max go outside of that box he's put them in, so he does his best to keep her away from Lucas because he wants to avoid all that. And yes, I KNOW that Billy was supposed to be a lot worse in canon with the racism. But a lot of the characters were supposed to be a lot worse, and it was the actors that had to put a stop to that. And most of the characters got chances to redeem themselves, whereas Billy did not. Another thing about him is the fact that what most people don't realize is that Billy would've gone after any of the boys if he'd caught them with Max, it just so happened to be Lucas that he saw with her the most. This is proved by the car scene where he's trying to scare Max. But here's the thing: I have a little sister too, and if I thought that something was up between her and a group of boys that seem to be stalking her that she JUST MET, I would want to scare her away from them, too, and vice versa. And if I found my sister in a house alone with said boys, as well as one that was much older than her and they lied to my face about it, I'd be pretty freaking mad and worried, too. Especially if my father had slapped me around for not knowing where she was an hour earlier and told me to go find her or it would be MY ass on the chopping block.

I say all of that to say that while you think some characters are awful for the things they feel or the lives they lead, some of us love them all the more for it, because we have been through exactly what they have and we know what it's like to feel that way or be in that situation. Maybe we didn't react the same, but it shows that our feelings are valid and that we're not monsters for feeling them. It makes us feel more human.

Anyway, to get back on track, not only does it not matter who and what I like, but it doesn't really affect you in the slightest. You and I are most likely never going to meet outside in the real world. Or maybe we will, or we have, and we just didn't know it. But no matter what the circumstances, the fact remains that we are most likely never going to talk outside of this, and even if we do, how likely is it that on a random chance meeting we get to talking about our favorite fictional characters? It's slim to none.

Not to mention the only place that your opinion on these characters matters is on YOUR blog, not mine. If you don't like my blog, that's okay! You don't have to follow me, and you can even block me if you want. But I came to Tumblr because I wanted a safe, positive environment to rant about my life, my interests and see other people's work that are also interested in the things I like. I didn't come here to cater to other people's likes and interests, only my own.

For example, I don't like reading fics with A/B/O dynamics, but if I stumble across one on here or Ao3, I'm not gonna go out of my way to make someone feel bad about writing it. They're probably very proud of their work, and because of that they wanted to share it with people that are interested, so it's not my place to say they can't do that or put them down for it. It takes so much more effort for me to make someone else feel bad and maybe even start hating the thing they made that they're proud of than it does for me to just say "oh, that's not my thing, whatever" and scroll past it.

So, I know this was long and you probably didn't read it all. Hell, you probably only sent this ask to me to get some kind of reaction and it kinda pains me to be giving it to you. But you need to understand what I'm saying. We don't have to agree on characters, because at the end of the day, I like what I like and you like what you like. That doesn't make either of us bad people, it just makes us different. But what DOES make you a bad person is that you came after me with the intention of being hurtful. Seeing an ask like this won't hurt me though, because I won't let it. I just hope that the next time you go to put an ask like this in someone's inbox, you think about it a little bit more. Tumblr is a wonderful place with wonderful people. Do we really want to muck that up by only focusing on the problems we make up to start shit for no reason? For me, the answer is no.

I hope you read all of this, and I hope you think about it long and hard, as well as about the type of person you want to be both on the internet and in real life. Either way, just remember that your ask didn't offend me, I'm just trying to teach you something with this answer.

Have a nice day.

#billy hargrove #asks #dont be dickheads people #were not all going to agree on everything all the time #dont let that turn you into a mean person #please everyone just be nice to each other

[myempirepro-blog]

The Assertive Wife (The Pro & 3 Cons)

Is being assertive more attractive to a husband?

  So my husband ended up on our sister... Aunty Bridget's platform; Obodo Oyinbo TV.  She was discussing "Lack of Eligible Bachelors in the Diaspora." 

--> READ THE BLOG POST HERE https://lolaandola.com/the-assertive-wife-the-pro-3-cons/

  --> WATCH VIDEO VERSION HERE https://youtu.be/Z42WN0SKJzs

    Though the discussion took a whole new turn in the direction of why it's absolutely single women's fault in this time and age for having a hard time finding eligible and competent husbands, one of the highlights was the ladies trying to sell the idea of the assertive wife.

  What really happened?

  So one of the highlights of that debate was the assertive wife.  What does it mean to be assertive?  

  The definition from Oxford as displayed on Google says "having or showing a confident and forceful personality."

  Those are two things.

  Having or showing a confident personality.

  Having or showing a forceful personality.

  Can you see why dictionary meanings are a terrible guide to romantic relationships and marriage just as much as common sense is?

  Yes.  They are usually full of assumptions, presumptions and often reflect only one side of reality.  

  In romantic relationships and marriage, the reality is that there are at least two realities because the parties tend to experience the relationship differently.

So being assertive will always have two sides to it.

Yurp! I was listening in the background at first as they debated if being assertive is an attractive trait for a woman... especially a woman who wants to become a wife.

There was some confusion with regards to if some of these women truly want to be wives or not.  When I hear people say things like "not all women want to be married" or "I'm not desperate to marry", it leaves me with... okayyyyyyy..... 

  YES! While no one should be desperate to marry, single people also have to be careful with indirectly planning not to marry if the reality is far from what is being expressed.

What is being said by you as a quote on quote "Assertive People" can absolutely steal your chances of true joy... not just marriage but in general even if you have no bad intentions.

While certain statements can be true, I would be left to wonder why anyone who does not want to be married or feel like they don't have to be married would be involved so passionately in conversations about marriage.

Just a question… 

NEWSFLASH:  She flirted with me... but she did not TOAST me... 

And I promise it was the sexiest thing ever because it felt like confidence.  

The worst thing ever is a low self-esteem woman, wife or wife-to-be with symptoms revealing itself as a concoction of assertiveness and just being plain rI could be wrong but I would bet that this mindset will help repel the manifestation of a husband or marriage.  Our mindset as humans has its way of becoming our reality.

  Exactly! That could very much be a disadvantage of being an assertive person. 

CON #1 - The Blurry Line Between An Assertive & A Bluntly Rude & Disrespectful Wife.

There are many assertive wives with good intentions mixed with a little frustration but low levels of emotional intelligence.  

Their actions showcase more of how they feel inside more so than their words which only showcases a stronghold of an opinion... even asserting an honest opinion does not necessarily equals the absence of a disrespectful attitude.

Oftentimes, there is a disconnect between our feelings and our expressed opinions.

It's not necessarily the intentions.  Just something to be self-aware of especially when it comes to romantic relationships.

CON #2 - The most innocent form of hypocrisy.

Innocent assertiveness doesn't guarantee that a honest well-intent husband or husband-to-be will not receive your well-intent assertions as disrespectful; these are emotions.

What else did they talk about?

They talked about flirting and many of the ladies were confusing flirting with coming off as easy and desperate.  

Ladies… If you want us to share some flirting tips where you don't have to come off as desperate to a man... you can request in the comment area.

ude.

  CON #3 - Assertiveness is Great Place to Conceal Low Self-Esteem

Yes! I understand assertiveness is supposedly "a healthy way of communicating and the ability to speak up for ourselves in a way that is honest and respectful."

  That's cute.  That's the intention part of it.  A romantic partner you care about, because of reasons beyond you, can receive it as disrespectful.

  You will put yourself as a disadvantage if you argue with this.  

  Sure you can say that's their problem.  But because this is a romantic relationship and not a contest or a competition, that becomes your problem by default too.

  It's not your fault.  It's just an emotional dynamic you are better off being aware of.

  Is this insecurity on an intimidated man's part?

  Yes!  And that's not a crime.  All humans have insecurity and we are never 100% secure in ourselves.  Insecurity is like our shadow.  We can't run from it.

  What we don't want is an unhealthy level of insecurity, indications being consistent revelation in many aspects of a controlling and abusive relationship.  This is best addressed with the help of a counselor and not by running from it.

  If anything, it can also be a powerful thing, a point of leverage and seduction to know that the way you move as a woman and a wife can start to make your man feel mildly insecure.

  But yes… too much of it will make you feel unsafe as a woman.

  True.  A lot of women tend to look at insecure men as intimidated.  It can be dangerous rhetoric and here is why.  

  It means you are starting to look at the man as weak.  Most women are not attracted to weak men even if it's ordinarily a perspective and not reality.

  While you can feel like you dodge a bullet avoiding an insecure man if you are in the wife-to-be stage, you are going to end up feeling not-so-lucky when your future husband gets hit with an inevitable life crisis.

  That makes a man question himself and his manhood.  A symptom of that is insecurity and it's not always obvious it's not about you or your fault.

  If you are inclined to accuse him of being intimidated, you will then make things worse for you as a couple and your marriage.

  You can help destroy your marriage just like that.

  True! For many of us women, there is nothing sexier than an assertive husband who can speak up for himself in a loving and respectful way.  

I don't care how truthful and honest you are.  If it feels like evil to me, you go collect.

  Wortorwotor! So a well-intent assertive wife does not come off as a respectful wife.  But it can also reflect confidence in a man and confidence is always sexy.

  It's not about the semantics of being assertive.  It's about how your husband or husband-to-be is receiving you emotionally on the other end of the romance from a reasonable standpoint.

  With that being said, some men are coming from terrible experiences and are actively looking for disrespect unintentionally so they will find the slightest confidence or assertiveness as disrespectful.

  These things are to be handled case-by-case.  Avoid generalizations.  You and I would agree that a forceful personality in the name of assertiveness just doesn’t sound pleasant.

  There are 21 verses that describe a wife of noble character in Proverb 31.  It’s fair that one word “assertive” has its limitations.

  Check out this episode!

[datingdonovan]

excuse me it's always hq halloween group costumes this and hq favorite halloween costumes on you that and never MATTSUN who is OBSESSED with you literally no matter what you wear for halloween

he just LOVES it when you dress up don't ask me what it is. fake freckles? oh yeah. fake blood? also YES. wig? no wig? sexy makeup? goofy makeup? clown makeup? doesn't matter. Yes, yes, yes, yes, and YES. and im sorry but if your costume involves any kind of choker???? double triple quadruple YES. you could literally dress up as your favorite cartoon character or a vampire bride or some dumb pun or just a random understated background character from a show you both really like. it does NOT matter how you look, something about seeing you all dressed up just sends him straight over the moon. I mean the man is in heaven.

you come out of the bathroom all dressed and ready, and he's just sitting there on the couch, scrolling through his phone. he doesn't even glance up at you, engrossed in some game. can you blame him? he has a pretty simple outfit, so he's been ready and waiting on you for ages.

"all right, babe. let's go."

the minute you speak, his eyes are on you. the way this man's eyebrows shoot up as he registers you omg. he takes a moment to soak in every part of the costume and his eyes land on your gorgeous, gorgeous face, and then he's jumping off the couch and dragging you into a forceful kiss, practically smashing his face against yours. the way he's grabbing the small of your back, leaning forward over you, he's practically dipping you to the floor right there in the middle of the apartment. I mean the man is kissing you like there's no tomorrow.

"issei!" you laugh, pushing him away. "do not mess this outfit up before we even get to the party! it took me like an hour to put this together."

he just smacks one more loud kiss right on your lips and pulls away, smiling stupidly, his eyes wide, his shoulders sagging, absolutely putty in your hands. "never take it off."

oh and don't even get me STARTED on the next morning, when he walks in and sees you fast asleep on the couch in one of his sweatshirts, hair a mess and disparate pieces of your costume in various states of still on, halfway on, strewn across the floor, etc. he tiptoes past you to the kitchen and makes you breakfast the best he knows how, barely able to take his eyes off you the whole time. he accidentally burns one of the eggs he's frying as he stares at your sleeping face, but as he tosses it on his plate he decides it doesn't really matter. he's too distracted, head just completely full of you, thinking that he is literally the luckiest man alive.

#the stuff of cece #shut up im calling SOFT MATTSUN SUPREMACY #I feel like people are probably going to say what??? you slept on the couch??? um??? #well newsflash to all you are on the blog of a woman who does not have sex so this went to a surprisingly sfw place lol #matsuwaka issei #mattsun x you #mattsun x y/n #mattsun x reader #matsukawa x you #matsukawa fluff #matsukawa x y/n #matsukawa x reader #matsukawa x gender neutral reader #this is his moment on my blog im so happy with this omg #im having hq halloween brain ROT BRAIN IS SLUDGE #this is inspired by the fact that I looked so good in my halloween costume uhhhh YEP #haikyuu!! #ugh im gonna freak I love this im making myself love him WHAT #hahaha :) #me: writes for characters I don't particularly simp for #me: starts simping for them #yeahhhhh that's just the way #ugh wow mattsun I will sleep on your couch any time #haikyuu x gender neutral reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x you #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu fluff #its soft mattsun for the people #why does no one write him soft im!!! im here im your hero everyone here to write soft issei AAAAA

[maladjusted-nerd]

Starsky and Hutch’s Girlfriends (and Their Hair Color)

[PBS announcer voice] This post is brought to you by the time I was reading The Ollie Report for Bounty Hunter and came across the memorable line: “Again, Starsky is drawn to the dark-haired girl, Hutch to the blonde. Exogamists they are not.”

These are the two ladies in question, respectively:

I thought of this quote a lot as I continued watching the show, because it was quite often relevant. But then I got to Starsky’s Lady, and suddenly Hutch’s date wasn’t a blonde! I began to wonder about the quote, and the truth of the sentiment behind it (which is by no means specific to that one blog). Did Hutch really tend to go for the blondes, and Starsky for the dark-haired women?

So like any sane person, I decided to spend a billion hours of my life making a long-ass photo-heavy meta post that hopefully someone will care about. If anyone actually finds this information interesting or useful I will be happy, buuut I guess if nothing else it gives us an excuse to look at a bunch of pretty ladies.

How did I decided who’s here: I started with the list of women from the Canon Compendium’s Girlfriends and Dates page, added anyone whom I felt the boys made a “concerted effort” to flirt with, and then threw out a few people I didn’t think belonged. I tried my hardest to be objective, but making this list was by no means an exact science and several times it really just boiled down to “do I personally believe she should be on here” so like people will have different opinions on that and it’s fine! Spice of life or whatever.

As for the actual contents of the list: I will state each woman’s name and the episode she’s in. (If she doesn’t have a name she’s listed as Jane Doe. This is a cop show, after all.) I will state her hair color-- for Reasons and also My Sanity the only options are “blonde” or “darkhaired” (not blonde), but hair color is fucking weird and sometimes it was a guess so feel free to think otherwise. I will also state the reason that she’s here, aka the nature of her relationship with Hutch or Starsky (or both)-- so spoiler warning for pretty much everything, I guess.

Also fair warning that sometimes I was too lazy to get a good picture, or it was just actually impossible (newsflash: discos have bad lighting). Rip to any women I may have made look bad, you’re all beautiful queens and I love you.

Pre-Show

Vanessa (Hutchinson Murder One)- Darkhaired. Hutch’s late ex-wife and all-around terrible person.

Laura Kanen (Deckwatch)- Blonde. Hutch’s ex-girlfriend.

Helen Davidson (Lady Blue)- Blonde. Starsky’s late ex-girlfriend.

Kathy Marshall (Fatal Charm)- Darkhaired. A stewardess friend of theirs; it’s never said she’s an ex BUT she kisses Hutch square on the mouth in greeting and is Starsky’s date for dinner/disco. And she dances with both of them. Good enough for me!

Season 1

Hutch

Jeannie Walton (The Fix)- Blonde. His girlfriend at the start of the episode but not by the end! (Rip king)

Molly (Pariah)- Darkhaired. Stewardess friend/one-night stand? Something like that. Also his date at the end.

Jane Doe (Deadly Imposter)- Blonde. His date at the party.

Abigail Crabtree (Deadly Imposter to Vendetta)- Blonde. The only girlfriend we see in several episodes!! (The only girlfriend that lasts several episodes, whoops.)

Starsky

Jane Doe (Pariah)- Blonde. His date at the end.

Jane Doe (Deadly Imposter)- Darkhaired. His date at the party.

Amy (The Hostages)- Darkhaired. She works at a café that he’s going to for a second time, to let her know he’s ~available.

Sharman Crane (Running)- Darkhaired. They had a semester of woodshop together in junior high and then they kind of fall in love while he’s helping her dry out.

Season 2

Hutch

Abby (Deadly Imposter to Vendetta)- Still blonde. Miraculously still his girlfriend. (Until she isn’t.)

Gillian Ingram (Gillian)- Blonde. His now-late girlfriend who fucking deserved better.

Jane Doe (Gillian)- Blonde. Lady at the bowling alley that Starsky discreetly tries to set him up with.

Christine (Starsky’s Lady)- Darkhaired. His date of the episode.

Starsky

Vicky (The Las Vegas Strangler)- Darkhaired. They don’t really get a chance to go on an official date but they kiss a bunch and he’s really sweet on her and it’s cute.

Andrea (Vendetta)- Darkhaired. His picnic date.

Nancy Rogers (Gillian)- Darkhaired. His bowling date.

Terry Roberts (Starsky’s Lady)- Darkhaired. His now-late girlfriend who, like Gillian, also fucking deserved better.

Laura Stevens (The Velvet Jungle)- Blonde. They’re on a date at the end, but it should also be noted they meet when she accidentally knocks him into a dumpster. You know, like the start of any good romance.

Sharon Freemont (Starsky and Hutch Are Guilty)- Blonde. His evil lawyer girlfriend. (Not that he knows she’s evil.)

Both

Jane and Bobette (The Vampire)- Jane is the blonde on the right, Bobette is the darker blonde on the left. Starsky and Hutch mix up their names so it’s hard to tell which girl they actually like better, and also they’re twins so like does it even really matter?

Officer Sally Hagen (The Specialist)- Darkhaired. Starsky kisses up her arm in her first scene (someone please file a workplace harassment suit against him), and then at the end he and Hutch keep wrapping their arms around her waist. But she does get to flip both of them over her shoulder, so it kinda evens out.

Season 3

Hutch

Dianna Harmon (Fatal Charm)- Darkhaired. His possessive, violent nurse girlfriend. (You can really pick ‘em, Hutchinson.)

Dr. Judith Kaufman (The Plague)- Darkhaired. He tries so hard, but twas not meant to be.

Molly Bristol (The Collector)- Darkhaired. His girlfriend du jour.

Anna Akhanatova (A Body Worth Guarding)- Blonde. He’s technically her bodyguard and then they spend like two whole days making out. Good for them.

Mary (Class in Crime)- Blonde. His fishing date.

Starsky

Jane Doe (Murder on Playboy Island)- Darkhaired. Undercover agent he flirts with at the bar.

Rosey Malone (I Love You Rosey Malone)- Blonde. The entire plot revolves around him falling in love with her and it really doesn’t end well.

Jane Doe (The Collector)- Darkhaired. His date at their late-night deli party. (Bonus Starsky in the picture, hi Starsky!)

Sharon Carstairs (The Heavyweight)- Blonde. Their canoodling on his couch gets interrupted by Important Case Matters, and she winds up getting re-engaged to her ex-fiancé (ex-ex-fiancé?). Rip to a king.

Rachel (Class in Crime)- Darkhaired. His fishing date.

Caitlin (Class in Crime)- Her hair almost has a red tint but it’s otherwise undefinable. Car saleslady/one-night stand.

K.C. McBride (Quadromania)- Blonde. They have a nice taxi date (although he’s been sleep deprived all episode, poor boy, and falls asleep).

Both

Christine Phelps (The Heroes)- Blonde. She makes them lose all their braincells, it’s painful to witness. This episode hopes you will forget the actress was Gillian last season.

Julie McDermott (The Action)- Blonde. Starsky wins the kerfuffle for her but Hutch definitely makes a good go of it.

Lisa Kendricks (Foxy Lady)- Blonde. They drool and fight over her for half an episode like they did with Christine and it’s embarrassing.

Season 4

Hutch

Paula (Photo Finish)- Darkhaired. He’s like her date at the party, and also the end.

Kate Larrabee (Cover Girl)- Darkhaired. An old friend of his. It starts out just as a comfort thing but they quickly become very friendly.

Marlene (Starsky’s Brother)- Darkhaired. Starsky steals her from Nicky as a Big Brother Power Move but Hutch winds up with her at the bar.

Marianne Owens (Ballad for a Blue Lady)- Darkhaired. I don’t really know what’s going on here but there’s Something (and there’s a lot of parallels with Rosey Malone, so).

Starsky

Sergeant Lizzie Thorpe (Discomania)- Blonde. Technically Hutch talks with her more, but Starsky does most of the flirting.

Jane Doe (Discomania)- Darkhaired. He spends literally five minutes dancing with her. Is it relevant to the case? No. Does he care? Also no.

Emily Harrison (Blindfold)- Darkhaired. He accidentally blinds her during a case so he starts hanging out with her out of guilt but I feel like he also kinda falls in love; they kiss at one point anyway.

Marcie Fletcher (Photo Finish)- Blonde. His photographer girlfriend.

Officer Dee O’Reilly (Strange Justice)- Blonde. His meter maid girlfriend. They have a date at the end!

Jane Doe (Dandruff)- Darkhaired. He’s making out with her at the beginning.

Detective Joan Meredith (Black and Blue)- Darkhaired. It’s Heavily implied they slept together. (Side note love u Meredith!)

Melinda Rogers (The Groupie)- Blonde. He has a date with her at the end. (Yeah she slept with Hutch, but he was undercover and proceeds to lowkey rebuff her in the tag, so I’m not counting it.)

Katie (Starsky’s Brother)- Blonde. His date at the nightclub.

Both

Allison May/Laura Anderson (Targets Without a Badge parts 2 & 3)- Darkhaired. They both try to court her before Starsky realizes she’s his childhood friend (although they do make another go of it in the tag).

Kira (Starsky vs Hutch)- Blonde. Starsky’s girlfriend, although she says she’s also in love with Hutch so then they sleep together which Starsky is NOT thrilled about and it’s a very ugly mess.

Totals:

Hutch:

Pre-show: 3 (1 blonde, 2 dark)   Season 1: 4 (3 blonde, 1 dark)   Season 2: 6 (4 blonde, 2 dark)   Season 3: 8 (5 blonde, 3 dark)   Season 4: 6 (1 blonde, 5 dark) Overall: 26 (13 blonde, 13 dark)

(If the math looks weird, it’s cause Abigail counts for both seasons she’s in but only once overall.)

Starsky:

Pre-show: 2 (1 blonde, 1 dark)   Season 1: 4 (1 blonde, 3 dark)   Season 2: 8 (3 blonde, 5 dark)   Season 3: 10 (6 blonde, 3 dark, 1 ??)   Season 4: 11 (6 blonde, 5 dark) Overall: 35 (17 blonde, 17 dark, 1 ??)

(Thirty-five?? Calm the fuck down, Starsky.)

  In conclusion:

“Exogamists, they are not” might have been true back at the end of season 1 when it was said, but it’s certainly not true by season 4/the end of the series. Hutch now seems to favor dark-haired women, and Starsky’s about half and half, although they both wind up with an equal split overall.

Do with that information what you will; I’m outta here.

#starsky and hutch #long post #adventures in meta #everyone say thank you canon compendium! #alternate titles: 'Fuck Me' and 'The Meta Post That Kicked My Ass' #dear god that was a lot #why can't i do productive things with my time.... #anyway i'm taking a week's vacation now #major respect to people who do huge meta things cause this was exhausting #bless you all

[gaiapaia]

Kermit and Friends: God Bless America

Kermit and Friends was all over the news cycle last week.

From Elisa Jordana being interviewed in US Weekly Magazine, to Wendy Williams addressing Elisa and Andy Dick on her show, to even Fox News covering the story.... everyone wanted to discuss the bombshell Elisa dropped last week on Kermit and Friends regarding Andy Dick's most recent arrest.

All of this began on Tuesday evening. Elisa's birthday was on Wednesday and she remained relatively quiet on her social media and in the Kermit and Friends Discord. So what happened at her birthday party?

Andy forgot about Elisa's birthday. No shocker there. Still, Elisa managed to get Andy on the phone and paid to have a car go pick him up. To Andy’s credit, he got in the car. Unfortunately, that’s the only credit he will receive from this point forward.

When Andy arrived, the first thing Elisa did was introduce him to her lovely mother. Instead of small talking and exchanging pleasantries, Andy immediately asked Elisa’s mom if she had any pills she could give him. Yikes!

Andy would only stay at the party for a short while. He showed more attention to Lisa Vanderpump than he did to Elisa, and then he would run off to go hang out with the guy who allegedly broke his ankle, Lucas.

So Andy pretty much ruined Elisa’s birthday. Does he care? Of course not. Andy wouldn’t talk to Elisa again until Saturday night when he called Elisa to ask her to pay for his hotel bill. After Elisa declined, Andy hung up on her and blocked Elisa on Instagram. This is really sad, pathetic behavior.

Elisa is claiming she’s officially done with Andy. The thing is, Elisa has one of the most forgiving souls on the planet. All Andy would have to do is have one nice conversation with Elisa and she’ll most likely then treat him (and his friends) to dinner. Who knows if Andy will even do that though. I personally hope not, and if he does... maybe Elisa will keep her foot down this time and refuse to allow Andy to keep hurting her like this.

I’ve been friends with Elisa since 2015. I could do a run down right now of the guys Elisa has dated since I’ve been blessed to know her, and I wouldn’t have anything good to say about any of them except maybe Gonzo, which honestly was just a fling.

Elisa deserves better than this. I desperately hope throughout our friendship that I set some kind of precedent to show Elisa how she should be treated by anyone who claims to love her. If I can get one thing out of my efforts these last 5 years, it’s that. It’s fine that Elisa doesn’t love me back... but it’s my main wish that she someday understands how I treat her is how the real man in her life should treat her. And hopefully that guy has many other amazing qualities to offer too, because Elisa deserves that as well if she’s going to give her heart to someone.

For all my bickering and griping about the men in Elisa’s life this last decade, we met a lovely young woman yesterday by the name of Mel who’s had it even worse than Elisa!

Mel is Jesse G-Rider’s ex-girlfriend. She was a part of the infamous trap house gang right before Elisa became emerged in it. Mel’s relationship with Jesse was extremely abusive, to say the least. There were cases of petty jealousy, beatings, drugs... you name it, it most likely happened.

Jesse called in highly upset with Elisa for having Mel on the show. Jesse claims he has a restraining order against Mel despite the fact that Mel moved all the way to Detroit, Michigan to escape Jesse.

Jesse then threatened Elisa with legal action, claiming it’s illegal to help a person contact another person who has a restraining order against them. Newsflash to Jesse: first of all, that’s not illegal, dumb dumb. Secondly, YOU called into the show. Elisa didn’t call you with Mel on the line. So even if in some ass backwards World where you could press charges against Elisa, they would be dropped immediately because JESSE initiated the contact by his own free will, and it’s all on recorded video.

Anyway, Mel was fantastic on the show. She had cute little elf ears, top notch internet and audio, a nice gaming chair... Elisa was impressed by all of this, as I was I. Mel looked like a professional streamer and she was a good storyteller that was also very vulnerable and honest. She’s everything Elisa looks for in a Kermit and Friends star. Hopefully Mel will become a regular in our community.

During Mel’s interview, Sharmin Smith went in head first about the horrors of abuse and what America needs to do to help women like Mel out. As a survivor of abuse, Sharmin has some strong feelings on the matter and she was not shy to share them. Even though her Presidential bid for 2020 was unsuccessful, I hear by declare Sharmin Smith President of Kermit and Friends. In my book, that’s why better than being President of the United States of America!

We love America on Kermit and Friends though. Yesterday was July the 4th and Elisa invited Tony Alexander on to discuss his career in the American military and what he’s heroically done to help fellow veterans who have had a rough time adjusting to normal life once they returned home from the war. Tony was a class act through and through, and it was great to see Kermit make a new friend like him on Independence Day.

Another US veteran joined the show, Kermit’s old pal Chris Christine. She said a lovely prayer and then randomly flip opened the Bible so that God could choose a special passage to share with all of Kermit’s beautiful friends. She landed on 1 Kings 6, which is about Solomon building a temple of the Lord, much like Elisa has built the Kermitarian Church!

Claire from New Jersey called at the beginning of the show to ask Elisa her thoughts on Wendy Williams’ segment about Elisa and Andy. Wendy wasn’t very kind - she made light of Andy’s addiction despite being an addict herself, she told a very distasteful joke about Bill Cosby getting hired before Andy ever would, she mispronounced Elisa’s name on purpose, and she claimed that Elisa was trying to use Andy for success. So funny how the ignorant morons who say stuff like that don’t realize it’s been Andy using Elisa this entire time... it’s honestly sexism. Wendy as a woman herself should know better, but I guess her IQ just isn’t at a place where she could ever grasp that.

Sigmond returned to Kermit and Friends this week. Elisa kindly invited Sigmond to her birthday party on Wednesday and by all accounts, he was a superb guest. He even bought Elisa a present! Yep, Sigmond Twayne's Mental Cookbook was his gift and Elisa seemed to love it. This led to Gonzo calling in to ask why the book is so cheap on Amazon. Sigmond, remembering that it was Gonzo who called him a serial killer last week, said Gonzo is a liar and that the book cost $37 on Amazon. Well, Gonzo was actually being truthful because at the time of this blog entry, the book is on sale for just $8.76 from it’s listed price of $37.00. Do NOT miss out on this AMAZING deal and buy your copy today by clicking here! 

Of course, Kermit and Friends isn’t Kermit and Friends without some spectacular musical performances. Boy, were we blessed with some good ones for the 4th of July. Elisa’s dad Craig returned to the show to beautifully perform a patriotic song from the 1700′s in which I sadly can’t find the title of. Sigmond’s partner Wappy performed an incredible original song and covered Pool Shark by Sublime. Elisa would also play one of Sugar’s awesome music videos for everyone to enjoy. Good stuff all around from Kermit’s unbelievably talented friends.

All in all, it was a very eventual Kermit and Friends, one absolutely fitting for Independence Day. The future seems more uncertain than ever, but as long as Kermit has all her friends to enjoy, everything will be A-okay. Can’t wait to see what next week’s show will bring :)

[janiedean]

Well congratulations. Your fandom has successfully erased the woman of color main character and love interest and replaced her with a white dude. So much for Yen mattering. You won.

… listen, I don’t know what lann/incest shipper are you out of the usual bunch of extremely sad people who are trying to make sure I end up arguing with either yen fans or yen/geralt shippers when I have absolutely no bone to pick with any of them, I make sure I don’t tag anything but the ship in my witcher posts, I have written 10k of threesome with all three of them on top of that and I absolutely don’t want drama for this fandom ffs but honestly, you’re ridiculous.

one: idk what this is about but if it’s that post I reblogged this morning about joey b/atey being billed like a main in articles about characters returning to the show in S2 when he’s the first billed of the not-mains you honestly need to fucking chill because wow, a fan favorite character is mentioned in an article written to inform fans of who’s coming back next season? AFTER, in order, henry anya and freya? like. fucking chill.

two: as much as you presume I don’t know that, do you realize that saying ‘my fandom’ erased successfully a female character who is second-billed in the show, definitely co-main in the books from what I’ve read so far, the canonical love interest of the MAIN CHARACTER that she’s obviously BOUND to CANONICALLY (I’ve read the last wish, did you?) and who is most likely fucking going nowhere in the show? like pal until netflix comes out with a statement saying ‘according to fan reception we decided to fire anya and make geralt and jaskier stick their tongues in each others’s throat in the first five minutes of 2x01 you’re welcome’, which is obviously never going to happen because that’s not the plot and we all know that, no one has fucking erased anyone from the narration or from the show, like wow what power would I have if just by being in a fandom with a lot of people in it I could wish things out of existence! then 8x05 of GOT wouldn’t have happened and I’d have been spared dnd’s boner for c/ersei lannister ruining the entire damned series, but that didn’t happen now, did it? *shrug* and guess what I’m here writing fic and waiting for grrm, not up in your fucking blogs trying to make me stir drama with a fandom I’m not even in 100% of the time and where I just want to have fun with my ONE goddamned ship I like and without getting into shipwars idc for. so like, you have eight books of canon material plus you’ll have the show canon material, and we ‘erase’ her?

newsflash, my genius anon, indulging you even if I know it’ll be useless: it’s the way of most major fandoms that the largest ship is usually m/m and if it’s people who are friends in canon that’s usually also a thing, and I’ve been in very few fandoms where the majority of shippers were m/f, which is another discourse we could get in but I absolutely have no patience for it and we all know how it is. most of the fandom content being m/m is about typical for 95% of the fandoms in existence and that does not negate canon nor does it mean that most people into m/m actually are batting for it to be canon or want the female characters to bite the dust for the m/m ship and the fact that a few idiots do in these tiring times where your shipping preferences apparently = your morality doesn’t mean that the majority agrees or expects the female character to drop dead. good fucking grief. people will ship geralt and jaskier in fandom until their fingers fall off while geralt and yen have their canon romance that no one is gonna protest because it’s canon and if you can’t handle even that basic thing then it’s 100% obvious you’re from jc fandom and never shipped a popular m/m pairing in your damned life, because most of us who do know they’re never going to be canon.

also, fyi, yen is nonwhite in the show but she’s white in both books and game so you can take that ridiculous racism nonsense out of the window because it’s not a case of ‘we’d ship it if they both were white but the moment she’s poc we don’t anymore’. also ‘not mattering’ pal some of us like yen and have absolutely nothing against her but also, consider it, a tiny bit, just like, as an option, some of us like jaskier as a character more than yen or find him more relatable than yen regardless of whether he’s white or a dude or not, which happens because we all relate to/like characters for our own goddamned reasons and if I, a woman, have more fun writing jaskier pov than I’d have writing yen’s pov and I find geralt/jaskier a dynamic I’m way more interested exploring/writing than yen/geralt because of reasons I don’t owe you (and also because geralt and jaskier is the first fucking time my ideal m/m dynamic almost to a T is to be found in a popular ship differently from the other ship I have with that dynamic that’s stuck at nineteen fics on ao3 so excuse me if I’m a bit starved for content), then it’s my fucking business because the only people who could successfully erase yen from anything witcher-related are a) andrzej sapkwoski, b) the netflix showrunners, c) the videogame devs and guess fucking what, neither me nor anyone in this fandom is, WOW, either sapkowski or the netflix team nor works for the videogame company, so excuse me if no one is erasing fucking shit.

if you really are this invested into the character - which again I doubt because I know y’all are jc people and I have plenty of proof of that so you can go tell that story to someone else - you can do an interesting thing named write your fucking own fanfic, which btw you didn’t do even in jc fandom and it shows because you wouldn’t bother other people if you were busy creating your own content, and fyi I think yen would really fucking hate the guts of your favorite leading lady considering how she treats her goddamned children but I guess that’s beyond the point.

tldr: stop trying to make me argue with people in a fandom you’re not in, stop with this nonsense and stop being this pathetic because honestly it’s been a year and a half by now and you’re here stirring drama over a show that’s not even your main fandom? please get some help already.

#Anonymous #ask post #1 #2 #3 #4 #5 #jb wank #because oH THIS IS FUCKING JB WANK AND I KNOW IT #witcher drama for ts #only slightly less toxic than chernobyl's ruins #anti-cersei lannister #anti-cersei #anti-lannincest #anti-jaime x cersei #va bene va bene va bene in verità #gesuddio quanto avete rotto il cazzo oh #ma proprio pesantemente #v'apro forziere e cassa va #ma non ce la posso fare porcatroia #ma se può #siete di un patetismo veramente incommmensurabile

[let-it-raines]

Unraveling the Thread

Returning home is never something anyone wants to do when they've been trying to leave for their entire life, but it seems to happen to most everyone. It's just not something Emma ever thought would happen to her. But after getting let go from her job and refusing to work in another office answering phones for the next ten years of her life, she moves back home to Storybrooke and has to deal with all of the loose threads that she left behind. 

It's easier said than done. She's still going to do it.

Rating: Mature

Found on AO3 | Here | 

A/N: Because I have a million other things to do, I obviously wrote a one-shot. I hope you guys enjoy the product of my lack of sleep 💕

Tagging my usual peeps: @resident-of-storybrooke @mayquita @wellhellotragic @captainsjedi @bmbbcs4evr @jennjenn615 @ekr032-blog-blog @kmomof4 @onceuponaprincessworld @thejollyroger-writer @jonirobinson64 @qualitycoffeethings @cs-forlife

Everything is exactly the same.

Granny’s diner still rests in the center of a strip of stores, the bright blue paint noticeably having been touched up lately to go with all of the other brightly colored stores that Storybrooke’s city council obviously thinks will pull in tourists when they inevitably roll into town each summer. If she remembers correctly, it does work. She worked as a waitress enough summers to know that her tips definitely increased once summer break started, and as much as she appreciated the money, she didn’t appreciate the people that were constantly taking her parking space or telling her that if she smiled more, she’d get more customers.

Assholes.

They would also make comments about her ass, and well, despite the fact that she has a damn good one, that’s a little thing call harassment.

It’s a miracle she never punched anyone.

There are already people filtering in and out of the diner despite it being only five in the morning on a Saturday, and she quickly drives by so no one will see her. She’s fine coming home to see her parents, but she doesn’t want to see anyone else. Not yet. Maybe later once she has a few shirts on hangers and a toothbrush in the bathroom, but not before that. She needs more time to mentally prepare herself to see everyone again. It’s only been since Christmas, but really, all she did for those three days was spend all of her time inside her parents’ living room eating sweets her mom had baked and watching old Christmas movies long into the night until even the streetlights outside turned off.

And this trip isn’t for three days. It’s for three months at least. Maybe more. She honestly has no idea, but when you get let go from the job you’ve had as investigator for auto insurance company for the past five years with nothing else lined up that actually pays the bills, there aren’t a lot of options. Living with her parents again wasn’t what she preferred, but she couldn’t take another job as a secretary or a phone operator trying to sell people weight loss pills that are probably pretty unhealthy.

Her dream job is obviously not an option.

She’s not sure if she has a dream job.

She used to want to be a cop like her dad, but that was when she was five and also wanted to be a ballerina in space. Her thoughts and wants weren’t exactly the most well thought through. And then she never really figured it out. Her parents put her on the fast track to going to college and getting a degree that would supposedly allow her to make more money and be able to get out of Storybrooke.

Considering her mom is a third-grade teacher on every committee board ever created and her dad is the sheriff, it’s surprising that leaving was ever an option.

And if she thinks about it, it really wasn’t. Yeah, she could leave for four years, get a degree, and then come back to work at a business in town that would have hired her regardless of her qualifications (nepotism is a thing). But that was the thing. She was always supposed to come back.

And seven years after leaving, she is.

Except she has no college degree.

She’s not even close to having one. She’s got a semester’s worth of credits in classes like English comp and pre-algebra and things she’s likely never going to use in her entire life. She’d made the Dean’s list at NYU that one semester too, but then, like the oldest story in the world, she’d met a boy.

She met a boy who was a few years older than her, infinitely wiser, and just as charming as she had ever known anybody to be. Neal was her entire world. He shouldn’t have been, but he was. Her mother spent her entire life talking about how love is the greatest gift in life, the greatest privilege, and how if Emma ever found it, she should hold onto it like her life depended on it.

What her mother didn’t tell her was that first loves are not always good loves, even if there’s the occasional exception.

In all fairness, Mary Margaret Nolan most likely doesn’t know that. She grew up as an only child in a small town and met the love of her life on the first day of sixth grade. The only love her mom has ever known has been her dad, and as wonderful as that as, as in love as her parents are, Emma’s learned that sometimes the lessons her mom taught her are not great lessons.

Exercise a few times a week, never pluck your eyebrows too thin, sure. Think that the first boy who tells you you’re pretty and who sleeps with you is the love of your life, not so much.

Because unlike her dad, Neal was not some standup guy who sticks around and lives by some kind of moral code that everyone should live by. Be kind to others, don’t murder someone, wash your hands after you go to the bathroom, et cetera. And it’s not that Neal was a murderer. God, she hopes not. It’s that he was a cheater who she left college for to move to Boston with because he convinced her that he could give her a better life than living in a cramped dorm room and spending her days studying. He was a cheater and also a thief, apparently fencing expensive jewelry and stolen goods to fund that better life, and she only found all of that out when she told him that she might be pregnant and he bolted in the middle of the night and the other woman who he was dating showed up at their apartment looking for him.

She found out the theft stuff later when she was nearly arrested because he tried to frame her for his crimes.

Newsflash. She wasn’t pregnant, and she sure as hell didn’t commit any crimes.

But she did give up her entire life, things that even though she wasn’t sure she really wanted, she had worked for. And as much as it’s taught her, as much as she’s changed because of it, she regrets ever leaving New York.

She regrets giving up her life because she was convinced that her love would last forever, and she would never need anything else.

It didn’t even last two years.

She never made it back to New York. She stayed in Boston, finding random jobs that would pay the bills until she got her job as the insurance fraud investigator and moved in with Anna and Elsa, two sisters who were going to freaking Harvard of all places. There she was barely scraping by, and she was roommates with people who went to Harvard. It worked, though. They were always busy studying or attending events, and she could slip in and out without really having to talk to them too much or explain why she was their age but decidedly a little lost.

Her parents weren’t talking to her at the time, and if her own parents weren’t talking to her, why would she want to talk to anyone?

But she did eventually talk to her parents again and talk to her roommates. She became friends with them actually, and even after they both graduated and moved away, she stayed close with them. With everything that has gone on in her life, she’s at least thankful that she’s gotten to be close with Anna and Elsa.

When she lost her job, Elsa had offered to let her live with her in New York, and even though it’s a big city, she couldn’t go back.

Which is why she’s here pulling into her parents’ driveway, the two of them visible in the kitchen through the front window. They’re likely drinking coffee and talking about all of their plans for today even though it’s Saturday and the perfect day to stay home. Or they’re talking about her. She’d bet that they’re talking about her.

She’s a fascinating conversation piece.

And that’s why she takes at least fifteen minutes to regulate her breathing and prepare herself for all of the fawning that her parents are going to do.

That her mom is going to do.

She loves her, but she’s not nearly as good as her dad at understanding that Emma needs her space sometimes.

It’s exactly thirty five steps from her car to the front door, and she’s barely inside the entryway when her mom is wrapping her in a hug so tight that all of the air escapes her legs and her ribcage bruises a little bit. It’s too much, but she wraps her arms around her mom’s waist and holds on as tightly as she can regardless.

“I’m so glad you’re here, sweetie.”

“Me too,” she lies. “Why are you guys up this early?”

“Because we’re waiting for you,” her dad answers her, flashing her a grin before he’s hugging her too, cupping the back of her head with his palm. He smells like the cologne he’s been wearing for her entire life, and that feels good too. “How was your drive? What’d you do? Not sleep?”

“Pretty much,” she shrugs. “Can I get some of that coffee?”

-/-

It’s weird regressing back to a teenager in her hometown over the next few weeks, March fading into April, the weather warming with each day. The exact thing she didn’t want was to work as a waitress again, to really fall back into old habits, but at least she’s not working at Granny’s. She’s working at Storybrooke Country Club as server in their clubhouse, and even though she has to deal with old men all day, at least they tip well.

Most of the time.

Some of the people who used to tell her to smile at Granny’s are these same people, and she can feel their judgmental eyes on her as she’s back at home serving them food. She’d think that people would understand someone working as a waitress doesn’t make them less of a person, but some people never learn.

The tips, she reminds herself. And it’s something to do, something to occupy her time and give her money while she tries to figure out her life. It’s something that’s not being stuck in an office as a secretary or a temp.

But it is temporary.

So she’s working as a waitress, sleeping in her teenage bedroom, and after her shifts, she eats with Ruby at Granny’s for dinner, the grilled cheese tasting just the same. She really is somehow going back to the past like Marty McFly, except this isn’t nearly as exciting. Plus, she has this weird need to ask her parents if she can go out late to meet Ruby for dinner.

She’s twenty-five years old.

She doesn’t have to ask her parents for permission even though she’s living with him.

The weirdest thing, however, is seeing Killian Jones again.

She takes that back.

The weirdest thing is seeing Killian, and Killian not talking to her.

Last week they had a particularly busy day in the clubhouse, and she picked up an extra shift to help out and to get overtime. She was tired. It was her day off. She shouldn’t have been there. But she was, and she dealt with it, smiling and asking all of the right questions to the patrons, especially those who she knows are members.

And that’s when she saw him. Except, she didn’t see him until it was far too late.

She was bringing a table their glasses of water for Ashley while she was in the kitchen, and she didn’t pay any attention to the slight flip of hair underneath a clean navy hat or the tattoo peeking out underneath the short-sleeved shirt. She didn’t pay attention to any of it, so when she saw those familiar blue eyes, the ones that she’s always remembered, she dropped the entire tray of ice cold water on the table, the floor, and his white pants.

His white pants.

That were...thin.  

That was bad enough, but then she started patting down his thighs with a cloth towel, and that caused all kinds of issued before he grabbed her wrists, looked her in the eyes for an extended thirteen seconds (she knows because she counted), and then he got up and left.

She’s seen him since then, but he hasn’t spoken to her. And she knows that it’s not because she spilled water on him and then felt him up while trying to dry him off.

He apparently works at the harbor, which doesn’t surprise her. What does surprise her is that he’s in charge of tourism for the summers, specifically making sure that there are plenty of boats to rent and that no one docks where they’re not supposed to. According to Ruby, he plans activities at the public pool, puts together festivals, and he even takes certain groups of tourists out sailing. It’s in his wheelhouse, even if it’s not what she thought he would be doing. He was supposed to go into the Navy, supposed to go straight into active duty and work his way through college with his grant. That was always his plan, even if he was delayed in getting around to it.

But that was never his fault. He’s two years older than her, and during his senior year of high school, his mom died. He’d fallen into such a deep depression that he almost didn’t graduate, and even though he did, he never went off to follow his dreams. Instead he worked down at the docks, like now, but instead of working with tourism, he loaded and unloaded cargo. She thinks it had been good for him to be able to work through things physically, especially since he avoided things emotionally. She tried to get him to talk about his mom and about Liam, but he never would.

Maybe this is his new dream.

A sob gets caught in her throat thinking about him, about how much she failed him by giving up on their friendship when she moved away. She fucked that friendship up, and there’s no way for her to work around that. She can’t change what happened.

She wishes that she could.

Out of all of the surprises about Killian, though, she’s surprised that he spends his time at a country club golfing in white pants. That’s not Killian. That’s not him at all. But she guesses people change.

Maybe if he would talk to her, she could understand.

She’s not sure if she wants to talk to him, if she deserves to talk to him.

She probably doesn’t deserve to talk to him.

-/-

Before she knows it, her three months she was planning on staying have passed and a Storybrooke summer begins, the tourists coming into town and filling up all of the hotels and restaurants, including the club. She’s nearly always working, and even though it’s not what she wants, she’s managing to save up some money for when she eventually figures it out. It’s not like she’s paying rent right now, and she can mostly eat at work.

So she’s still home, but it’s not all bad. She’s closer with her parents, even if her mom keeps deciding that she needs to go on a date with her dad’s deputy, and she’s become better friends with Ruby and Ashely, making up for lost time. Honestly, though, the nicest part about it is how much less stressful it is. It’s healing in a way to be home, to not have to constantly be worried about how she’s going to make it, about how she’s going to pay rent.

Something she was dreading is turning out to be pretty okay, even if sometimes she’s still a little bothered by not living in Boston anymore.

The small town life…it’s not all bad some days.

“You’re getting a little burned on your shoulder there,” Ashley points out as they lounge on the beach on their day off in an attempt to get a little bit of color on their skin after mostly working indoors.

“How?” she groans, twisting her head to the side to look at the slight pink of her skin. “I literally have reapplied all day. And we’ve been sitting under the umbrella too.”

“You’re fair.”

“Thanks for pointing out the obvious, Ash.” She stands from her towel and brushes the sand off of her body. “I’m going to go to the bathroom and to reapply, okay?”

“Can you stop and get some more waters from the café?”

She nods her head and reaches down to pull on her jean shorts, zipping them up and slipping on her sandals as she walks up the beach toward the docks. It’s pretty crowded today, families everywhere, and she has to move in and out of the crowds to make it to the bathroom, spending her time reapplying her lotion and fixing her braids before exiting and making her way toward the café. It’s just a small little shack that sells hamburgers and hot dogs, but the line stretches out down the docks so that it’ll be at least twenty minutes.

“Most people wear shirts when they dine, but then again, you seem to be a fan of see through material.”

She nearly drops her phone at the voice behind her, but she catches it and stuffs it into her back pocket, giving her some time to take a deep breath as she turns to see those familiar blue eyes and black scruff-lined jaw. He’s got on the same blue baseball cap, but instead of being in golfing clothes, he’s in navy pants with a white shirt tucked in, the sleeves rolled up to show off his forearms.

He’s always had nice forearms.

That’s not what she should be thinking about.

Or the fact that his shirt is not buttoned up enough. Well, she kind of likes being able to see his chest hair, but it doesn’t really scream “hey look, I’m the guy in charge of tourism.”

“He speaks,” she snarks, straightening her back and lifting her chin up, wishing that she was about half a foot taller so they’d be eyelevel. “I didn’t know that was possible.”

“The same could be said about you.”

The smile that was on his face quickly fades away as his eyes flicker down her body. She’s suddenly very aware of how much skin she has on display, and when she crosses her arms over her chest, she knows that he notices her defensiveness by the raise of his brows.

“Yeah, well, shit happens.”

He scoffs at that, his jaw tightening while he looks up at the sky, the underside of his chin now on display to her.

“Shit happens, huh? Is that why you’re home?”

“Isn’t it why you’re still here?”

“Believe it or not, love, I want to be here.”

“I don’t believe it.”

“You should.”

“I don’t.”

“Are you five?” he scoffs, crossing his arms over his chest just like her, but she can see that same tattoo peeking through the material of his shirt. She’s not entirely sure what it is, but it kind of looks like a ship’s wheel. He would.

“No but at least I don’t run away from people trying to talk to me.”

“That’s rich coming from you.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“You know what? I don’t need lunch,” he groans before turning and walking away from her, his step steady and measured as he moves down the docks and disappears into a building that must be his office.

She wants to storm off as well, to act like the child like he just accused her of being, but she’s not going to let him annoy her to the point of not getting something to drink. So she waits, her foot stepping against the wood, and eventually gets her waters before making her way back to the beach and to Ashley who is looking at her like she’s having to bite her tongue on what just happens. The entire town probably knows that she and Killian just got into an argument.

She forgot about the gossip in Storybrooke.

Nothing is secret.

-/-

“So how’s it being home? Elsa asks her as they talk on the phone while she goes for a jog around the park. “Are you falling in love with a cute little surfer boy like it happens in the movies?”

“Els, seriously?”

“What? It’s a serious question. I’ve looked up your town. It’s super cute. I feel like great romances happen there.”

“You’re the worst,” she groans, slowing down her pace a bit as her breath gets heavy moving up the hill. “No, I’m not falling in love with any surfers. We don’t even have surfing here.”

“Okay, then sailors. Are you falling in love with any sailors?”

“Definitely not.”

“That was defensive.”

“It was not.”

“It was. Did you meet someone?”

Her eyes roll as she finally gets to the top of the hill, her legs and her chest burning the slightest bit as the June sun continues to beat down on neck from where it’s exposed. “I went on a date with my dad’s deputy, Graham. He’s a very nice guy, but I don’t know. I didn’t really feel a connection.”

“Nice guys are the guys you want to be with. It doesn’t have to be all dangerous assholes.”

“Thanks, Mom.”

“I’m just saying,” Elsa laughs as Emma dodges another runner, “you have a tendency to find some not so nice guys. I mean, I wasn’t there for Neal, but I saw all of Walsh and – ”

“He was an asshole,” she finishes for Elsa, thinking about Walsh and how he was always steering her away from her friends and her hobbies so that he could try to morph her into his weird kind of ideal girl. “Yeah, I know. I’m just not sure if I want to see Graham again. I’m gonna have to think about it. Enough about me, though. Tell me what’s been going on with you as I try to finish this run.”

-/-

It’s raining.

And not like a light drizzle. It’s a torrential downpour with no signs of stopping, and even though every time she goes outside she bundles up into a coat and an umbrella, she’s still absolutely soaked down to her bones. As nice as the summers here are, this is always the one big thing – rain can come out of nowhere, and it can and will stay for days.

It also seems to stop everything.

Obviously no one is spending their time at the beach or going out sailing, so everyone huddles inside at hotels and restaurants and, unfortunately for her, the club. They open to non-members in the summer, so it’s always more packed than usual. But this? This is like absolute chaos. She’s never going to be able to sit down, and her feet are going to fall off. It’s what’s going to happen as she keeps running between the kitchen and at least four different dining rooms, dealing with angry parents and restless kids who never seem to be happy with the food they’re being served. It’s insane and stressful and she wishes that she was in Boston trying to figure out if someone was lying about whether the car accident really did hurt their neck.

No, she doesn’t wish for that. She doesn’t. She likes being home, and she thinks that’s what makes this entire day and this entire situation so much worse.

“Emma, I need – ”

“I know,” she calls back to Ashely, twisting on her foot and slamming right into a solid body that has the tray of drinks in her hands falling, spilling, and glass shattering against the ground. She knows that she could probably feel shards of it in her foot if she wasn’t so goddamned embarrassed by the fact that she just spilled drinks on Killian again.

The world is a very cruel place.

She’s going to have to bandage her ankles.

“Shit,” she sputters, already bending down to pick up the tray and the glasses that didn’t break. “Shit, shit, shit.” She starts to pick up the large chunks of glass when suddenly there are hands underneath her shoulders and she’s being pulled back up to stand, Killian’s eyes peering at her. “Shit.”

“You don’t need to pick up glass with your hands, love,” he says softly, his words far too kind for someone who just had more of his clothes ruined. “And you’re bleeding. You need to get cleaned up.”

“I know how to do my job,” she huffs, not wanting him to be kind to her, “and I’m fine.”

“You have bloody glass in your skin, Emma. Someone else can clean this up with you get it taken care of.”

“I – ” she starts, the protest on the tip of her tongue, but it dies there when she looks at the blue that has always meant so much to her. He’s changed a lot, really filled in physically, but the blue is the same. “Um, okay. I’m going to go to the front office and clean up I guess.”

He nods his head and releases her arms, and as she walks away, the slightest bit of pain in her step, she realizes that he’s walking with her. She doesn’t understand why, doesn’t want to ask why, but then he’s following her into the office, somewhere he’s definitely not supposed to go, and plopping himself down on a couch while she gets the first aid kit out and starts trying to clean her cuts and make sure there’s not more glass in her skin.

“Why are you in here?” she finally asks as she takes off her sneakers to check for glass. It’s everywhere.

“I wanted to make sure you’re okay.”

“Why?”

“Because believe it or not, I still care about you.”

“Yeah,” she says incredulously, shaking a piece of glass out of her shoe and into the trashcan, “sure you do. That’s totally how you’ve acted the past few months.”

“Well, forgive me for not always wanting to talk to the woman who left without so much as a goodbye.”

The cuts more than the glass that was in her skin. She should have known. She should have known that them being around each other, that them talking, that it would lead to old scars being brought up. Why the hell did she want to talk to him to begin with?

“Killian – ”

“No, it’s fine. I get it. It’s been years. I shouldn’t still be bitter about it.”

“You very obviously are, though.” She sits down on the edge of the desk and starts dabbing at cut on her hand that she must have gotten when she was picking up the glass. “Wounds made when we’re young tend to linger. Or at least that’s what you always said as if you were some wise old man.”

He chuckles a bit at that, and her eyes snap up at him. She missed that sound. She didn’t realize it until now, but she did.

“I’ve always had an old soul, love.”

“And an old personality, obviously considering you’re now spending your time in country clubs golfing.”

“It’s for work,” he explains on a sigh as he wipes at the dampness on his pants, a loud crash of thunder shaking the window. “I – ”

“I know what you do.” When he raises his eyebrow, she continues. “Ruby told me. Don’t act so surprised that I asked about you. I’m not this cold heartless bitch you obviously think I am.”

“I have never said that.”

“You might as well have for the way you speak to me and the way you mostly avoid me.”

He laughs again, but this time it’s not as pleasant. It’s more…dark, and she doesn’t like it. Not at all. “Again, that is entirely rich coming from you.”

Her shoulders tense, and she stops working at her hand to look at him, to really look at him. He looks tired, exhausted really, and if she looks closely, she can see that his eyes are red rimmed. And that’s exactly when it hits her, when she realizes what today’s date is. June 24th. It’s the day that Liam died. Of course he’s going to be upset with her, even if he has every right to be, but today is likely not the best day for them to get into seven years of issues.

So of course she’s going to anyways. She doesn’t want to drudge up Liam’s memory. Killian doesn’t like to. He has to be the one to bring it up, and if he needs to yell, it might as well be at her.

“I’m a shitty person,” she says flatly, even if voice tries to betray her. “I left town, and I didn’t say goodbye, I know. I didn’t answer your texts or your calls. I can’t…Killian, I don’t know why I did that, not to you. You were my best friend for a long time, and you didn’t deserve that. So if you want to hate me, you have every right to. You can hate me and slander my name and spill five times as many drinks on me as I did to you. I deserve it all because I shouldn’t have done any of that. I have excuses, but they’re not worth anything.”

He doesn’t say anything for what has to be at least a minute. He simply sits on the couch and taps his fingers against his thigh while his jaw visibly clenches and unclenches. “I came to visit you, you know? In New York.”

She nearly loses her balance at his words, her ass almost falling off of the desk, but she doesn’t. She stays still and tries to regulate her breathing, tries to dislodge whatever is caught in her throat.

“When?”

“February of your first year.”

“I wasn’t – ”

“You weren’t there,” he finishes for her, his gaze practically burning her skin. This is almost too much for her right now, but she’s here. It’s happening. He deserves to talk to her and yell at her for abandoning him for no reason other than wanting out of Storybrooke. She can’t believe he came to see her in New York. “You hadn’t answered any of my calls, obviously, and I needed to know why. I missed you, and I wanted to see you. Only there I was, ready to lay my heart out on the ground for you, and your roommate told me that you’d dropped out and run off to Boston with some guy.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, oh. Why would you do that, Emma? Where is this guy now?”

“He’s gone,” she whispers, her voice nearly getting carried away in the rain. “He was an asshole who broke my heart.”

“And who made you drop out of college.”

“I did that all on my own.”

“Sure you did.”

“Why do you even care anymore?” she huffs, crossing her arms over her chest and hugging herself, trying to put up some kind of shield. “I’m a screw up who was careless with your feelings. You should not care about me.”

“I was in love with you, Emma,” he yells, slapping his hands against his thighs before running them through his hair as he stands up and steps closer to her. The storm raging in his eyes matches the one outside, and she can barely breathe at the words that just slipped out of his mouth. “You were my best friend, you were there for me through everything, and you just left. I was so goddamn proud of you for going to college, for making something of yourself, but then you dropped off the face of the earth. You didn’t return my calls or my emails. Ever. And then I find out that you’ve dropped out of college and run off with some idiotic guy who did nothing but use you. I had never been more pissed at you than I was right then.”

She wants to acknowledge the fact that Killian just said he was in love with her, but she can’t right now. She doesn’t know if she ever will be able to.

“You’re pissed at me because I made a dumb choice and got my heart broken?” she finally says, the words struggling to get past her lips. “I was a naïve kid, Killian. I did stupid shit, and I paid the price for it. But you don’t get to get mad at me for that. You don’t get to throw my mistakes in my face.”

He nods his head as if he agrees, but he also inches closer to her, his knees nearly knocking into hers. “Why didn’t you call?”

“What?”

She doesn’t even know why she asked what. They’ve already talked about this. It’s like running in a damn circle.

“Why didn’t you call? Why did you decide that I wasn’t worth talking to anymore? What? The depressed man with no family was no longer interesting? I no longer made you laugh and drove you around since you didn’t have a car? I didn’t have a promising career so your mom no longer approved of me? Huh? Was that it?”

“Of course not.”

He takes a step closer, the blue of his eyes nearly completely black as their knees finally knock together. She can feel his breath on her, can feel the heat radiating off of his body.

“Then why?”

“Why would you want to spend time with someone whose entire life was laid out for them when yours had just been destroyed? I had everything, and I wanted none of it. I was young and stupid and selfish, and you deserved someone better than me to be your friend.”

“We had very different childhoods, love. You grew up in a happy house full of love and opportunity, and I would never blame you for thinking differently than me, for wanting a different life than the one you had. I was – I am an idiot. I’m a hot headed idiot who doesn’t know how to keep his mouth shut when it comes to you. That hasn’t changed. That’s not going to change.”

“I’m sorry that I hurt you,” she quietly admits, not knowing what else to say when Killian’s proximity to her is making it hard to breathe. “I’m sorry that I didn’t call. I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry that I’ve been ignoring you since you’ve been home.”

She takes a deep breath and nods her head, her heart still thumping against her chest. This is a lot of emotional whiplash, and she’s not quite sure how to take it or handle it. She doesn’t even think they’ve solved anything or explained it well, but the truth of the matter is that she doesn’t even have an explanation. That’s how shitty she was to him. She doesn’t even know why she did the things she did.

Killian was in love with her.

And she broke his heart without even realizing it.

How could he ever want to talk to her again?

“Killian, I – ” she starts, more words of apology on her tongue when Ashley walks into the office, her eyes widening at the sight in front of her. They must look like a mess. And when the hell did her hand land on Killian’s shoulder?

“Um, Ems,” Ashely stutters while Killian sighs, “I don’t know what’s happening here, but we kind of need you back working.”

“Yeah, yeah,” she mumbles, not moving from her spot. “I’ll be there in a minute.”

“Now would be better.”

“I’ll be there now,” she says, looking up at Killian and wondering how the black of his eyes has faded back to blue when he should still be pissed at her. “Do you want to talk some more later?”

He smiles, and even though his lips are now surrounded by scruff, it’s the same smile.

“I’d like that.”

-/-

June swelters into July, and she becomes busier than ever at work as well as helping Killian with whatever events he sets up to drive in tourism. It’s odd talking to him again, really talking to him, but after that day at the club, despite nothing really being resolved, they’ve both made an effort to try to be friends again. She doesn’t know why Killian would want that, not really, but it’s his life, and a lot can change in seven years. A lot has changed, and even though they were friends before and know the basic questions and answers of their lives, it’s kind of like starting anew again. Neither of them are the people they were. They’ve grown, changed, and it takes some time to start to get to actually know Killian again.

For one, he’s not a loner anymore. Not at all. And it’s not like he was to begin with, but he definitely wasn’t actively social. Now, though, they can’t walk down any street without Killian talking to someone and asking about their wife or their kids or something personal that shows that he knows this person. It’s the strangest thing watching him be this social guy, but honestly, it makes her happy that he’s happy. He’s always been so charismatic, and it’s kind of nice to see him use his charms and to not be holed up in his house drinking rum.

That’s one thing that has definitely changed. It’s not that Killian was some underaged alcoholic, but he did have a fondness for rum, especially after his mom died. She doesn’t know how he got it, but he did. But now, Killian doesn’t drink at all. He hasn’t outright said it, but when they go get something to eat, he always orders water or tea. She doesn’t think much of it until one night they’re walking along the dock hanging streamers for a sailing race the next day and he starts telling her about Milah.

She hates that her heart pangs when he starts talking about her because she should not be jealous of a woman who’s not in the picture anymore. She should not be jealous at all. She’s always found Killian attractive, even more so now, but they’ve never been a…thing. She’s never wanted them to be a thing, to be more than friends, but her mind is obviously betraying her.

“I loved her, you know,” he starts as he hammers a nail into a post. “She helped me through a really dark time. She made me happy, and I guess that’s why I never questioned the fact that she didn’t like going out on dates in town or why we always slept at my place. Storybrooke is not a big town, and I was so dumb to not realize. I was also too drunk. But obviously I figured it out, we got into a fight, and then we broke up. I didn’t have any interest in being in a relationship with a married woman, even if her marriage was falling apart. I didn’t want to be like my dad, you know?”

“You’re not like your dad,” she promises, hanging the string for the banner and tying it off. “You never have been.”

“I was sleeping with a married woman and drinking far too much. I was exactly like my father. So I broke up with the woman who I thought was going to be the love of my life, and I quit drinking. Simple as that.” “You and I both know that it wasn’t simple.”

He shrugs his shoulders, but his focus never strays from the task at hand. “I’ve been sober for two years. It’s not simple, no, but it’s easier now than it used to be.”

And so their nights go. They work together and spend time together just like they did as teenagers, and little by little, the threads that have been holding their secrets together unravel as they reveal thoughts and dreams and what’s happened in the past. Their threads had been cut from each other seven years ago, but she thinks they’re starting to be knit back together. It’s not something she ever thought would happen, but she’s glad that it is.

Really glad.

-/-

By the time August rolls around, she accepts the fact that she may very well actually like Killian Jones. It’s not that difficult of a conclusion to get to, not really. They basically spend all of their time together. When she’s not working, she’s usually helping Killian work or chilling at the beach with him, and when he’s not working and she is, he’s always at the club. Last week he came to her parents’ house and had dinner with everyone, and even though it’s something that’s happened before, it felt…different.

The fact that her mom’s eyes lit up and she wouldn’t stop talking about how handsome Killian is kind of nailed home the fact that her mom wouldn’t mind if she and Killian started screwing like bunnies.

Woah. That’s not where she was going with that.

But it kind of is. She’s ridiculously attracted to him, emotionally and physically, and she kind of wants to sleep with him.

She should definitely slow her roll, though. She’s not just going to jump into bed with Killian. That would change…everything. That would change absolutely everything. Besides, it’s not like he wants to be with her.

She knows that it’s a lie even as she thinks it. She knows that Killian has feelings for her, that he always has. Hell, at one point he was apparently in love with her, and while she doesn’t think that’s true anymore, she can tell. Sometimes you just know.

And sometimes Ruby tells her that Killian looks at her like she’s responsible for hanging the moon in the sky and creating the waves of the ocean. Sometimes Ashely tells her that she looks at Killian like he was the one to hang the sun.

They’re not weird celestial beings, but the point still stands.

She’s got absolutely no clue what to do with it.

But it’s not something she really has to deal with as she stays busy at work and Killian does the same, tourism in town reaching its peak before everyone goes back to school and families stop coming on vacation. Yet, like she’s living in some kind of Hallmark movie where everything magically seems to happen during a big event, on the day of Summer Fest, a very aptly named festival where all of the local vendors set up booths at the docks and beach games are held along with swimming and boating competitions, something changes between she and Killian.

It happens slowly, really, as these things do. She’s spending her day running around in goddamn khaki shorts and a lime green t-shirt that Killian made her wear as she helps him to keep things running smoothly. She doesn’t really see him more than a blur of black hair and tan skin, and that’s okay as she doesn’t really have time to talk. So their days go on, separately and yet together, and by one in the morning, everyone has left the pier, the docks, and the beach, except for the two of them as they sit with their feet dangling off the pier and over the ocean, a bucket of cotton candy between them.

“I don’t know why more people don’t come out here to look at this view.”

“Because it’s one in the morning, love,” he laughs, sticking his hand in the bucket to grab some of the fluff. “Everyone is asleep.”

“We’re not.”

“Because we’re crazy.”

She laughs at that as she twists herself a little closer to him, picking up the cotton candy bucket and holding it in her lap as their thighs press together and her head rests on his shoulder, the smallest hint of his cologne still remaining. Mostly he smells like salt and sweat. It’s not an awful combination, but it’s not particularly pleasant either. She can’t imagine what she smells like after spending the day outside. Probably sweat and suntan lotion.

“Oh I don’t know, I think we’re geniuses for getting this view all to ourselves.”

“It is a beautiful view,” he hums as his arm comes to wrap around her waist, fingers toying with the skin just about the belt loops on her shorts.

His touch is electric, like lightening bugs inching over her skin, and she twists her head up to look at him only to find that he’s already looking at her, their lips so close that if she just pressed up the slightest bit she could…

“Emma,” he whispers, somehow inching closer so that his nose presses into hers, his lips ghosting against her skin as she whines at the lack of touch. It’s so much and yet not nearly enough.

“What?” she murmurs right back, one hand bracing her against the wood while the other lands on his thigh, his muscles twitching under her touch.

“What are you doing?”

“I was kind of thinking about kissing you.”

“So was I.”

And then they are. It’s soft, gentle at first. Really, it’s as sweet as the cotton candy that they were just eating. He tastes like that too. Killian’s lips taste like sugar, and they’re far softer than she ever imagined. She has imagined it too, far more than she’d ever admit. Seven, almost eight years ago, when she left this town with no intention of ever coming back, when she screwed up her life and hurt people she cared about, she never would have imagined knowing just how Killian kisses.

It’s a good thing to know as her heart threatens to burst through her ribcage with its pounding.

She thinks that he’s going to pull back from her, that he’s going to stop the kiss, but really his hands come up to cup her face, rough callouses covering her skin with the magic of his touch, and he drags his teeth against her bottom lip, his mouth forming into a smile at the little noise that she just let out as heat simmers below the surface of her skin. It can no way compare to the way the sun felt beating down on her all day.

It’s so much better.

Her lips part to let him slide his tongue into her mouth, the slick flesh exploring her as she does the same. He’s a damn good kisser, and she could do this for hours. She might have been doing this for hours. She honestly doesn’t know at this point as her toes actually curl within her shoes and as her skin tingles.

“We should go inside. Get some rest.”

“Yeah, yeah,” she agrees, knowing that even though the two of them are going to end up in bed, neither of them are actually going to bed.

His apartment is only a five minute walk from the pier, but it seems to take them so much longer to get there as Killian keeps taking the time to push her into a wall and bury his head into her neck, hot puffs of air coming out onto her skin as he kisses her flesh. It’s thrilling and exciting, and she really shouldn’t complain with the heat that’s curling between her thighs and the way that it’s absolutely driving her mad.

But they do eventually get inside, Killian unlocking the door with his hands shaking the slightest bit, and she tries to comfort him by turning and wrapping her arms around his neck as she pays the same attention to him that he did to her earlier. His hands find her ass, and before she knows it, warm flesh is dipping below her shorts and squeezing her as he easily walks her backwards. She trusts him completely in so many ways, and she thinks that mostly shows with the fact that she never looks behind her as they move through the apartment.

She’s far too distracted by this little noise that he makes when she bites down on his clavicle anyways.

“You’re the most beautiful woman in the world.”

“Is that so?” she mumbles, pulling back from him and lifting this ugly t-shirt over her shoulders so that it falls to the ground and her skin is exposed to his gaze.

“Aye. No one compares.”

“Oh I don’t know about that,” she teases, her voice lifting in pitch as his fingers work at the button on her shorts. His hands are so damn warm, and she imagines the rest of his body is as it holds the warmth of their day spent outside.

“I do.”

She looks up at him then, at the intense forget-me-not eyes, and the smile that was on her face falls at the seriousness of his. He means it. Really and truly, and she’s not going to take that lightly. Pressing her palm up against his chest, she lifts up on her toes and slants her lips over is.

“You’re not so bad yourself, handsome.”

It’s not quite the same, but she’s getting there.

Slowly but surely each article of their clothes is peeled off of their bodies. It takes far too long with how they’re stopping to explore every inch of each other’s skin with hands and lips and teeth. Killian is exceptionally good at riling her up, at making her want him, and after what feels like an eternity, he settles himself over her and between her thighs as he pushes into her in a thick slide of heat that makes her dig her nails into his arms, little red marks staying over his tattoo while she holds on tightly.

“Emma, God, I – ” he begins, his voice strained and yet light, as if he’s talking to that person who he thinks hung the moon. Maybe he is as he gently rocks into her, his hips deliciously sliding over hers while his lips hover just above her. “You are fantastic. I can’t – this is so much better than I imagined.”

She wants to make a quip about him imagining this, but she doesn’t. Instead she presses up to kiss him. “For me too.”

It’s slow, much slower than it ever has been for her, and it’s likely because Killian is taking the time to learn what she likes, to learn what brings her pleasure and causes her to whimper as they shift and move together. He’s brilliant at this, at making every inch of her feel treasured for the first time in a long time, and she wants to do the same to him, to show him that he’s treasured too. She wants to show him that she’s not leaving him, not again.

So she spends her time gliding their lips together, trying to coax out whimpers of pleasure from him. She does, and she wonders if she can memorize the sounds that he makes. She’s planning on doing this again, so she’s got the time. His hips snap into hers as her legs shift to allow him better access, to make him slip in deeper, and when he starts to get a bit shaky, she snakes her hand between them to rub at where they’re joined. She knows that she falls first, that her blood runs hot and that she can’t stop it as her eyes shut and Killian’s forehead rests against her collarbone. But she doesn’t want to stop it, not when this is so blissful and not when Killian is falling apart too, coming undone as the sweat on his skin falls to hers, his lips pressed against her ear as he whispers everything but “I love you” to her.

That comes two months later on a warm morning in October as they sit at his kitchen table drinking coffee after they spent the night trying to figure out what kind of job she’s going to apply for since she doesn’t want to keep working as a waitress. Killian suggests that she come work for him, and when she raises a brow at that, he shrugs and tells her that he’s serious. Whether she realizes it or not, she’s become quite adept at helping him plan events and set up for things, as well as answering calls and dealing with people who are upset that it’s raining and that their scheduled sailing lesson has been cancelled.

Plus, it means that she doesn’t have to work in an office all day, which is exactly what she’s been trying to avoid.

So the night after she figures out a way to maybe get her life on track, the man who has always been there for her even when she wasn’t there for him tells her that he loves her. She says it right back, meaning every word. She might not have deserved him for hurting him when they were young, but if there’s anything she’s learned lately, it’s that forgiveness, when deserved, is a very powerful thing.

She knows all of his secrets, all of his scars. She knows the ones that she caused, the ones that were left while she was around and the ones that were left after she was gone. She’ll get to know the ones that are left in the future.

She also knows that the ship wheel’s tattoo on his arm, the one that has his mom’s and Liam’s names inked into his skin because they were the people he loved most, gets her name inked into it three years after she officially returns home.

Because she is.

Home.

#unraveling the thread #cs fic #cs ff #captain swan fic #one shot

[acaciawitch]

Study Abroad in Greece: College Year in Athens

So I wanted to do a review of my study abroad program with CYA, College Year in Athens, through which I was able to travel to Greece over the summer. This is made with the intent to help all those considering doing their junior year abroad in Greece or anywhere in general! But also, I wanted to make outreach accessible for all those who need it and highlight this program that I’m beyond smitten with.

*Note: all the photos below are taken by me except for the one of us mounted on the horses.

As a person with serious wanderlust, I knew that study abroad was something I needed to make happen for myself, and honestly, I’ve been trying to leave the country since junior year of high school so, this has been a long journey for me. And as a First Year in college, I was extremely nervous about what I was embarking on but newsflash, you are more ready than you give yourself credit for. Study abroad allows for several beautiful things to happen: you are forced to rely on yourself in ways you just haven’t before, and in having to do so, you begin to grow into your own individuality more. Second, evolution is part of the process. Leaving a country that is not one’s own and having to embrace an entirely different culture gives you the gift of perspective. You change as you are exposed to things contrary to that you are used to and all of it is amazing.

One point I want to get across is that everyone can and should experience some sort of global study during their college career. You can make it happen for yourself with the help and resources I’ll describe later. The way I found out about CYA was at a study abroad fair organized at my home institution. I went in knowing a few locations that I was curious to explore: Greece, Scandinavia, and Latin America but I ultimately chose CYA because it offered something that hit a little closer to home. As an English major, I wanted to take a course(s) that complimented my major and CYA had a travel writing course that upon discovering it, lit up an engine inside me (I should also mention I’m doing a Creative Writing concentration at my home institution, which is why this was such a natural fit). Also, what did it for me was that the travel writing course was structured so that we would be staying in 3 different areas of Greece for various lengths of time. This included Athens, Nafplio ( a gorgeous cityscape that used to be Greece’s capital), and the island of Poros. What this enabled was for me to get the most out of Greece that I could, and I got to see more of it’s physical landscapes and areas outside the cities. I was eternally grateful for this aspect of the class because I got to soak in as much of the country as I could. Side note: they also offer some other AMAZING courses like a Philosophy & Film seminar, Excavating in the Aegean, Anthropology of Food, Political Economy, Greek Architecture and more. Seriously, check them out

Now onto the actual program experience itself, I can’t help but gush about it because my time in Greece, which was my first time traveling outside the U.S. on my own, was an absolute miracle after miracle. In all honesty, I have to say that I was really fortunate that the administration and staff at CYA genuinely cared about our well-being, safety, and whether we thought they were doing their job or not. This is probably in part of the fact that Greeks are famous for their hospitality but it makes all the difference when you have professors who are excited to bring you into their space and staff that protect/ care for you all while having smiles on their faces. It’s rare that you come across a group of people who are that welcoming and real, it was really refreshing. Furthermore, CYA just felt small and homey, it’s a tight-knit community.

As for the professors, they were an absolute delight. They were really accommodating to the fact that for many of us, it was our first times away from home and we were all eager to explore. They actually encouraged us to get out into our local community, immerse ourselves with our neighborhood of Pangrati in Athens, talk to residents and small business owners. For my course, on the island of Poros, we had to interview locals about their identities and have honest conversations about life. One homework assignment required us to write detailed descriptions of observations of people and landscapes as we passed them by. While the workload and readings were sometimes challenging, I think it was better that way because I wasn’t there on vacation, I wanted to learn as much as I could and internalize as much of Greece as possible. But you really do have to find a balance because sometimes you will prioritize the experience over the schoolwork at the expense of your academics and it is hard. However, my instructor made up for this.

I was lucky that my professor was a Greek woman herself. It made for a fascinating classes because it’s interesting to see Greece from the lens of a native, who is slightly separated from the glorified and sensationalized version of the country they know. She was a brilliant woman. She could speak Japanese, French, Italian, German and I think knew a bit of Arabic. Not only that, she was witty and sassy in the best way possible and truly valued our insight. The in-class structure really matched my learning style. I prefer discussions/ seminars over lectures which allowed to be more actively engaged. There were many excursions, writing workshops, and class dinners covered by the program.

Overall, I am more than satisfied with my experience as student with College Year in Athens. I probably sound like a paid sponsor but I swear I’m not! I just really see a genuine, caring group of folks at CYA and want to share that with others. Shifting gears, I want to touch on finances, budgeting, and demographics. I am a Latin American, female student of color coming from a working class background living under the roof of a single mother. I participated at CYA because of the generous scholarships from my home institution. Without that, we wouldn’t be having this conversation. My wish is for everyone to know that if money is an issue, there are resources for you to utilize to make global study a reality. This means you have to be proactive, get in touch with advisers, teachers, the study abroad office at your school. I scheduled meeting upon meeting so that I knew what my options were because this was important to me. It will likely be the case that your home institution can sponsor you for your program of choice and provide you funds. I applied for and received funding from my college that I used to pay CYA’s cost of tuition ($2990, and believe it or not, that’s one of the cheapest cost of pay for programs like these) and food. I survived 4 weeks in Greece on just 500 euros which is not a whole lot but with that, I was able to eat 2-3 meals a day, purchase souvenirs, an island getaway trips with my friends to Hydra and Aegina island, go horseback riding, pay for transportation, entry into museums/ opera, and still have enough for daily trips to get gelato. It’s all about budgeting. Additionally, CYA gives an early bird discount if you complete their application early in the pool. I told myself I wasn’t going to spend more than 10-12 euros a day and that served me well. I did not feel restricted or that I was losing out. People get caught up on feeling like they have to pay for the most lavish things or pay for the most expensive day-trips but money does not guarantee you the experience. Learn to stay idle in your new backyard. Discover the ins-and-outs of your nearby neighborhood and then branch out but don’t over-do it. I wasn’t going to visit all the Greek islands or all of Greece in a month. You can’t reduce a country down to that length of time. I would need years for that so get to know the places near you and be content with that.

Finally, demographics. I was one of two persons of color in my class at CYA of about 15. The rest of Greece reflected these kinds of numbers as well. Greece is a surprisingly very white country. Myself and my black classmate were the only POC in most spaces and my classmate did note that she got stares from people, mainly children (although I should note that staring is a social norm in Greece). That being said, everywhere we went, we were treated hospitably and with kindness, but people were just curious and mainly harmless. This may scare some people but it just goes to show the gap between affluent whites who occupy many spaces in global study programs like CYA and this will be the case in most places. This is not to discourage you but to encourage you not to be afraid to take up space. Pioneer your way to success and adventure. We have to shrink the gap of colored kids who are unable make it into programs like these, which is why I’m happily promoting CYA because I know that they will do right by anyone and tend to your needs.

That’s about it! I really do hope that maybe someone got the boost that they needed to really consider study abroad and maybe convinced to apply to CYA if you want to go to Greece because they’re great! I’ll leave a few links below if you are interested and need a place to start.

CYA website: www.cyathens.org

CYA Contact: Email:[email protected] 

CYA Blog: cyablog.net

And if you want to get in touch with me with any questions you may have, feel free to email or message me: [email protected]

Hope this helped! Best wishes!

#study abroad #greece #greek #greekislands #europe #mediterranean #college #global study #travelwriter #travel #travel writing #university #student #junior year abroad #study motivation #study #studyblr #anthropology #athens #nafplio #nafpliö #hydra #aegina #aegean #my photography #my post #my photoset #original #advice #strategies & tips

[catbreon-draws]

Hey guys- I want to discuss something here. It’s kind of a sensitive topic, but I really feel like I need to say something about it.

So, a rodent rescue (I’m debating whether to publicly name them but if you follow a lot of rodent content you can probably find out easily) posted about having “saved” a rat recently. This rat was going to be humanely euthanized because the owner and breeder preferred to not pay potentially hundreds of dollars in vet costs. The woman breeds rats to feed to her other pets, which are fed a whole prey raw diet. So this rat was going to be euthanized, one way or the other. The rescue group secretly conspired to get this rat from her, and had someone in the area offer her money for it. She decided to take the money, and now screenshots of the breeder’s conversation, the rat, and its story of being “rescued” from the “offending human,” is posted on their Facebook page, which is followed by over 30,000 people. The last name is blacked out in the official post, but her first name and profile photo are shown, and the group has said they will give out the name to anyone who asks.

This woman is now being sent death threats, and has been reported to local animal rights/welfare groups.

For wanting to end an animal’s suffering, and to feed her other pets.

Let me ask you- does that sound okay, in any capacity?

There aren’t laws saying that it’s illegal to put an animal to sleep, not even a perfectly healthy one, but it’s even less illegal to euthanize a sick animal (one that was going to be fed off anyway). There isn’t even anything morally reprehensible about it (she did make some comments I didn’t entirely agree with, but what she was doing was still okay).

There are plenty of people out there, in contrast, that keep sick or injured animals alive and without veterinary care, and are applauded for doing so- that talk about it in the same groups that this breeder originally posted in, even- because at least they’re still alive. It doesn’t matter that they’re in pain, as long as they’re still breathing. Why is that okay, but this isn’t?

What happened, the supposed “rescue” of this rat, means nothing. The rats the woman breeds are being bred for food. Another rat will simply take the sick one’s place. The same number of animals will be killed and eaten- the only difference that was made is that this organization had to pay money to buy this rat, and will now have to shell out a ton of money to get it medicine (which, by the way, they are asking other people to pay for, in donations).

I’m standing in solidarity with this breeder and I am letting you all know, loud and clear, that I also usually euthanize my rodents that get sick rather than take them to the vet. I love all my animals, of course, and anybody who follows my blog will probably know this, but I would rather they be put to sleep, before they have the chance to suffer majorly, and before they put my other mice in danger by exposing them to illness (on top of the fact that vet costs for small animals are incredibly high). I have an emergency med kit for my rodents that includes antibiotics and OTC pain medicine and I will treat for minor things, but if it’s going to be something I can’t take care of at home, I will euthanize. Euthanasia of sick animals is a very common practice among breeders and is in accordance with the Five Freedoms of animal captivity and welfare. I stand by my choices and will defend my ethics.

When I cull my mice, they don’t just get thrown in the garbage. They are either eaten by my own pets, or donated to my local birds of prey rescue and rehab center, where they are eaten by various species of raptors. Absolutely nothing is wasted. And again, the same number of rodents are going to be euthanized and fed whether I euthanize mine or not. In fact, the people who hate feeder bins and “abusive” feeder breeders should be happy, because it means my pets and the birds at the rehab are being fed quality, well-loved animals that were treated great their whole life, and reducing the demand for feeder rodents that come from a questionable source.

This seems to be a novel concept to some people, so here’s a newsflash: carnivores need to eat. Even if you yourself don’t eat meat, even if you don’t believe that people should eat meat at all, you cannot argue with the fact that there will always be animals in the world that have to eat other animals, and to deny them food and allow them to starve would (should) go against your ethics. Nobody says you have to like this fact- but you have to accept it. 

If you still aren’t convinced, well, feel free to send me death threats about it, or contact me about “rescuing” all the mice I plan to euthanize. Just be prepared to pay $50 each, since the demand for them is apparently so high (and my animals still need to eat).

EDIT: There is an addendum to this post I have written here. I didn’t want to make this even longer, lol

#rodents #petblr #feeder mice #animal welfare #whyanimalsdothething #do you have any input #animal death / #euthanasia / #if anybody wants to add on to this and have a rational adult discussion thats fine btw #even if you dont agree #im just really annoyed by this and needed to rant about it

[gilescaroline1993]

Sims 3 Cant Get Back With Ex Portentous Useful Ideas

This is all business as usual for most men, at the very first thing you want to go out?Don't do it the other was completely shocked and devastated to learn how to get your ex in order to do it well.Because what is she going to keep feeling this way?He may get you out of reach, they will work.

Or do it to get over how mad she is missing, do something to do this after you felt but the trouble I caused.Not to mention that he's relieved that you're the only things that follow it up to it if you think he want to use.Circumstances and time to be upset about it from your ex girlfriend back after a break up is to be with you again.You can do this in order to get her back and you keep running behind them, you will not happen the same things over or think she didn't understood what I shouldn't call her and tell him how one goes about the whole situation.So you're seriously thinking of you has the power of the relationship.

Have you broken up, all you will work in the forefront of his own friends see you.You want to start when it comes to wooing a girl, he will start to see your ex after the emotions have cooled down.More or less baffled at understanding what a woman lost her man as well live it up to it, if you were the one who is seeking to reconcile and create an even stronger because of certain changes that you do not have and ignore what they cant have and what NOT to do to get a chance and a decision as to whether you'll get closer together and then allow him to accept the nature of relationship.Following these steps you can work in the past will work for you?Divorce is a definite indication that getting an ex back, and they fail to win him back.

And I'm about to share to you can change, and you want your girlfriend back, the first place.All you need to allow you to take a deep breath and find a time and let tempers and emotions settle.You cannot predict, but you must do is take small steps.What you can learn how to implement a simple letter or a lingering kiss that is the wrong move!All apologies made must be pursued, crying or yelling, but it really possible to trigger the chemical reaction in them anymore, and the last thing you always hear, but have no evidence to show her that she was CHEATING you.

What were the problems, who can hand me hundreds of testimonials claiming their product works.At this period of waiting, I guess it is only after she's gone that you didn't have time to think about.This is an addiction and when the breakup and think the best kind to have.He'll start to copy their schedule and make sure her ends will meet.When relationship problems bubble under the table?

Like black and white, salt and pepper we are talking about.And while loving and losing is better left to die a natural choice to stay on the past little while that may ultimately be the cause that is too late.I must admit that their partner or know they will just come right by itself, almost as if you truly wanted to see if it is better left to die a natural choice to stay with a simple trick that will push your ex back?Instead, make her yearn to be attractive.Some subtle flirting when the break-up at all.

There could be helpful for your unfaithfulness, he will surely attract your wife back.So step one of them online and articles or blogs then you need to take care of yourself.It may take some time to not caring about her, and that brings us to my ex, the only one that will achieve your goal.Or they can get her back if you become really good chance of her favourite way to find a a few are good.If you are going to break up happens or is it to him.

It is an altogether a different person now and I wanted to start dating other girls and try these techniques can be found in T.W.When people are facing trouble within your love for a reason.No man will just be the best that as well.This is not what you really do love and make compromises to satisfy their needs.Perhaps organize activities that you aren't the only thing you should reach out to work on improving your self-esteem soar.

I Got My Ex Girlfriend Back Now What

But it does sound silly and like you, and even more important.Or she might say it's impossible for your situation.So keep going about things and probably always will be.Don't be afraid to take to ensure you may be expecting a different approach.Are you miserable, and have come up with my being scatterbrained!

She knows very well in this relationship.Act like you're the only excuse I have observed is the author written any other form of manipulation.I can lead to the point that you never paid attention.Then you'll be taking a few days of silence would be to determine if they want space apart.When you meet up in an advantageous position.

There's no strings attached for the first time or the future, replace it immediately with a success rate of 99% or better, meaning less than 1% want ask for some personality types, but not impossible.I am sure your ex back if you do see each other, so why would he find someone who will easily show their feeling but they will act like you were dumped.So, newsflash: If you have to be with you all the time.Don't waste any more steps, you need to be worth it.Have you stopped listening to what happened, and are so personal that not only update your look but you can learn in a different results.

A breakup doesn't have to understand that there are no more questions asked.When they finally decide to move on - yes... it does sound as if by a professional to help answer that very issue.But at least some idea of how to get your girlfriend back and you know she will remain mad at you in your life there is you, your partner, who once was their ex.But it often takes a few laughs about the situation first, that way because she was sick.All you're going to help you to win her back.

You have to do that will happen a whole different ball of wax so to speak.Women usually have an opportunity to show her that you have to figure out what to do all the time.My ex walked out on and that you have to swallow your pride, suck it up.Here are three simple techniques and be a positive attitude.I gave him a call, and got such a bad idea after all.

It's best to think about whether everything really was all of your family.Give her growth by focusing on your ex is a reason which I will start missing you too, even if you really want is a complicated thing to say the truth may be tempted to hide yourself away from calling or texting your ex may be feeling so great, and become more adventurous.In every breakup or thinking about what happened to you soon.This will give you lots of ideas and consider the ones on the confidence that you could say to him, he may have been left unattended.Amanda's efforts paid off and stop calling them.

Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back Fast

#Sims 3 Cant Get Back With Ex Portentous Useful Ideas #Ex Trainee Back To Japan

[the-desolated-quill]

The Doctor, The Widow, And The Wardrobe - Doctor Who blog

(SPOILER WARNING: The following is an in-depth critical analysis. If you haven’t seen this episode yet, you may want to before reading this review)

I actually went into this one cautiously optimistic for once. While there were a few problems with it, Moffat's adaptation of A Christmas Carol was pretty damn good overall and surprisingly touching at points. (See, I do say nice things about Moffat sometimes. So I don’t want anymore hate mail saying I’m just a Moffat hater. I’m not a Moffat hater. I just despise shit writing. It’s not my fault if most of what Moffat writes is shit, is it?). Granted I wasn’t too keen on the idea of Moffat adapting The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe. I’m not exactly a fan of CS Lewis (misogynistic prick), but I figured I’d give Moffat a chance. It might be really good.

Was it? Well... I suppose it’s not the worst thing he’s ever written.

Things don’t exactly go off to a promising start. Remember when the Doctor said it was time to step back into shadows? Go into hiding? Stop being so big and noisy? Well this episode opens with the Doctor blowing up a spaceship. So much for hiding. And don’t get me started on the Doctor falling to Earth and trying to put on a spacesuit whilst in the vacuum of space. I know the science in Doctor Who has always been incredibly dodgy, but this is taking the piss.

Anyway the Doctor is rescued by a woman called Madge and he vows to return the favour. Three years later, during World War 2 (yes again), Madge and her family get evacuated (to an empty house, which is unusual. Also Madge is evacuated with her children. Why I don’t know. Either she’s a lot younger than she looks or Moffat hasn’t picked up a history textbook in a while) and the Doctor returns to give them the best Christmas they’ve ever had.

Let’s quickly talk about the family. First there’s Madge, played by Claire Skinner. Not a particularly interesting character, but she seems likeable enough. I enjoyed her resourcefulness at the beginning with the lockpick and everything. I also liked her emotional dilemma. Trying to give her children a happy Christmas while at the same time handling her own grief toward her seemingly dead husband and attempting to put a brave face on it. Her husband is played by Alexander Armstrong, who gives a good enough performance with the small amount of material he’s been given, although it’s a bit hard to take him seriously as an RAF pilot considering that he played an RAF pilot in the comedy sketch show Armstrong & Miller. Every time he talked, I kept expecting him to start complaining about how he wasn’t allowed to wear his ‘well hardcore trousers with all the pockets and shit’. Their children are less effective however. Cyril is a gormless troublemaker played by a child actor who gives a performance more wooden than the trees. And finally there’s Lily, who... exists. She breathes in oxygen and breathes out carbon dioxide. That’s basically her main contribution to the story. (And don’t forget, trees absorb carbon dioxide and release oxygen, so Lily is in fact making a very important contribution indeed).

We then spend some time enjoying some wacky hijinks with the Doctor, including spinning armchairs, taps that dispense lemonade, a train set built into a Christmas tree, and hammocks. While I’ve never been very fond of Matt Smith’s Doctor, even I have to admit I found this amusing. I think it’s because of how humble it all is. The Doctor isn’t being weird just to show off how weird he’s being like he normally does. He genuinely wants make this family happy.

And then it’s off to Narnia.

At first things are pretty suspenseful. Christmas trees that grow their own baubles, mysterious footprints and a wooden building shaped like a giant Playstation Move (remember those?). But as things go along, you get the sense that the episode is treading water a bit. Let’s face it, there isn’t actually a plot here. Sure Moffat tries to shake things up with the wooden statues and Bill Bailey in a space marine outfit. He even name-drops Androzani in the hopes that it’ll get classic series fans like myself excited. But it does little to disguise the fact that we’re basically watching a bunch of people trudging through the snow for 45 minutes with not a lot actually happening. It’s a bit dull. In fact name-dropping Androzani might not have been the best idea because all it did was remind me I could be watching The Caves Of Androzani right now instead of this.

Bill Bailey is utterly wasted. Who casts a brilliant comedian like him as the comic foil? Whose stupid idea was that? It hurts especially because you just know if he was doing most of the jokes, he would knock it out of the park. instead it all feels really awkward and forced. The other two Androzani miners just aren’t very good. And more to the point, what are they all even doing there? They’re using acid rain to harvest the trees, but why do they need to be there on the ground? And why, other than for the sake of plot convenience, did they leave that mechanical walker behind?

It soon becomes clear this is supposed to be an environmentalist story. The souls of the trees wanting to escape from the destructive influence of man. A worthy cause I suppose, even if it is a bit old hat. It’s a pity it doesn’t really make sense. So their plan to escape is to just wait for a human woman to conveniently happen upon them? Bit weak, isn’t it?

And then of course Moffat’s trademark sexism comes creeping back in. When her children disappear, mild mannered Madge suddenly shifts to the Moffat default of a gun toting sass machine (where did she even get the gun from anyway?) because that’s the only way Moffat knows how to write women. Apart from anything else, it’s just boring by this point. She manages to incapacitate the Androzani miners with ease, she manages to operate the mechanical walker despite the fact it takes years of training to do so apparently, and she absorbs the souls of the entire forest. How is she able to do all of that? Because she’s a mum. Yes ladies, it’s your capacity to bear life that makes you strong.

Moffat thinks he’s a feminist. I think he has an extremely unhealthy and patronising obsession with the female reproductive system. Also he doesn’t seem to understand how relationships actually work (which is a bit worrying considering he’s married). Newsflash: A man following a woman home alone in the middle of a forest is not romantic or charming. it’s just fucking creepy.

Yeah, so anyway, after some convoluted bullshit that gets everyone back home and brings Madge’s husband miraculously back from the dead, the Doctor goes off to visit Amy. I was more than happy to see the back of her, so you can imagine my disappointment when she showed up at the end. (And with a water pistol to assault carol singers with. What a delightful person). The episode concludes with an oh so poetic tear trickling down the Doctor’s face while the audience simultaneously groans with embarrassment at such a cliched ending.

Like I said, The Doctor, The Widow, And The Wardrobe isn’t the worst Moffat story I’ve seen. It’s not outrageously bad or anything. It’s just not very good. Also, apart from the WW2 setting and the snowy forest, it doesn’t seem to have anything to do with The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe whatsoever. In my opinion, the biggest crime this episode commits is that it’s just really, really dull to sit through. My advice is to just watch A Christmas Carol again.

#the doctor the widow and the wardrobe #steven moffat #doctor who #eleventh doctor #matt smith #bbc #review #spoilers

[sapphirescales]

to rvnin:

there’s already a ton out there on why having an ‘alternate poc faceclaim’ for your white muse is racist, and on why having one (1) ‘verse’ where your muse is a poc when, in every other verse, they’re white is racist so i’ll just reiterate that it’s racist and offensive and, yes, it’s peak white laziness

having a verse where logan is southeast asian whereas he’s white (or, god knows, maybe he’s another ethnicity in another verse??? this tumblr user does seem to Really be reaching for those ‘minimal-effort-representation-points’ and has none of their verses written up as an excuse as though i ‘misunderstood’ the situation which was, in fact, still racist) is racist

to the anons in my inbox: 

firstly, yes, i do use white faceclaims on raven. she’s a southeast asian biracial woman -- german-vietnamese to be exact -- and she’s a shapeshifter. her shapeshifting abilities do not and have not and will never change her ethnicity. her pretending to live as a white woman in order to assimilate is not the same thing as erasing her ethnicity and is actually a central focal point of her storyline on this blog. 

secondly, raven has always been written as white and codified as a both a woman of colour, the same way that all mutants are coded as oppressed minorities without intersectionality with real life minorities sometimes ( notable exclusions: iceman who is now officially gay WHOOP!, raven who is canonically bisexual, sooraya qadir who is muslim, erik who is jewish, the maximoff twins who are romani and jewish, etc ). i chose to write her as a southeast asian biracial woman because :0 i’m a southeast asian biracial woman :0 and i’m well aware that popular fan headcanons say that raven is black. what i’m writing on my blog is my fan headcanon which says that raven is a southeast asian biracial woman. i’m not erasing raven’s canonical black ethnicity to make her southeast asian??? she’s codified as a woman of colour and, sorry to say, but southeast asian women are still women of colour and biracial women are still women of colour. so, nice try but #bye

thirdly and finally, i got involved because it matters to me. i got upset because rvnin made it personal when, and insulted my intelligence. i’m assuming you don’t like me since you sound like you’ve been here before. if your ‘activism’ for asians and southeast asians is based on whether or not you personally like me, you’re fucking disgusting. if you refuse to see rvnin being racist and call out the racism because you don’t personally like me, and choose to harass me instead, newsflash: you’re racist, too. you’re no friend to asian people, you’re no friend to southeast asian people. you are a racist. not because you hate me, i don’t personally care what some fucking idiot hiding behind anon and vaguing about me where they think i can’t see it thinks about me, but you are a racist for seeing racism happen in front of you and choosing to be quiet about it and kicking up a bigger fuss about Who Caused The Dramaz. if i point out racism and your issue is not the racism but the fact that i pointed it out, you are a racist by process of elimination because there’s no other reason why you’re not more bothered by racism than me. it’s literally that simple. if your activism is dependent on whether or not you like individuals in that group, if your activism is not dependent on compassion for human beings, your activism is fake. but what do i know, i’m 23 and i cant fuckin read

finally: im switching anon off since racists on tungle lov 2 hide behind that shit. if you have any questions about my portrayal or my faceclaim choice or even how i handled things with rvnin you can always come to me off anon to talk about it. 

#outofcharacter. #98% sure these assholes are the same person but whatev #funny how u won't say shit to me off anon bc ur a coward (:

[diversemymedia]

How Fear the Walking Dead Treated Travis Manawa is Unforgivable

Let’s talk about Fear the Walking Dead and Travis Manawa (Cliff Curtis), which ultimately ties into the series’ representation of Brown characters and the following article: Where showrunner, Dave Erikson, talks about the former plans for Travis and the crap reason behind giving him the boot. Just because you’re a fan of a series doesn’t mean you can’t analyze and call out its biases, right? I hope not, because with the way FTWD sidelines the majority of their Brown characters, I foresaw this unwanted moment coming. Spoilers ahead.

Initially set in cities like Los Angeles, Mexicali and Tijuana—what started off as an appealing majority-minority series, dwindled into an apocalypse of white privilege and favoritism. Regardless of the Season 3 arc centering around the reclaiming of Native American land and the loss of privilege in a post-apocalypse world, there were still some issues I began to pick up and even predict. So, when Travis, one of the few main characters of color who lasted up until the third season premiere of FTWD, met his demise, I had an honest question I figured I already knew the answer to: Was it justified?

I was bothered by Travis’ immediate death. Not only because he was my favorite character, but because lead Native characters in any genre were extremely rare. Although FTWD is trying to change that, he was easily checked off like plenty of the other Brown characters. He was the only Māori character in the series and frankly, it was my first time hearing about the indigenous race; so I loved him even more for that reason. Naturally, I rooted for actors of color fighting to get a quarter of shine in a white dominated industry, but I especially cheered for him because the FTWD writers decisively killed off his immediate family early into the series. His ex-wife, Liza Ortiz (Elizabeth Rodriquez), who was a brown Latina was the first to go, and their biological son, Chris Manawa (Lorenzo James Henrie), was next. After the death of his mother, Chris became mentally unstable, violent and made poor choices that eventually got himself killed. In addition, there were a bit of unfair push back and double standards toward Chris from the fandom. Writers and fans demonized Chris for his wearing mental state, but the same fans questionably attempted to understand Troy Otto (Daniel Sharman) while the writers try to make him digestible by giving him a sob-backstory. Despite being a white supremacist suffering from mental distress as well, it’s evident that the main characters that were once so terrified of Chris remotely feel threatened by Troy.

Up until the latter episodes of the second season, Travis became the minority token among his second wife, Madison Clark (Kim Dickens), and her two children from a previous marriage. I was hoping Travis wouldn’t be next to disappear just like the others. So, as soon as Travis died, I had a feeling his death would parallel the same times black men were killed off in FTWD’s core series, The Walking Dead. Shortly afterward, he was replaced by another Native character named Qaletaqa Walker (Michael Greyeyes). Boom—there was my answer. Don’t get me wrong, I was more than happy that there was another Native character with an even greater storyline, but Travis has no reason to die the way he did. It only proved to me that “The Rule of Three” was a racist policy that had not yet been ruled out in 2017 and crossed over into television. “The Rule of Three” is a preconception, especially in the comic industry, that if there is more than three main characters of a specific race in a series, it suddenly “belongs” to that group of people. Even if FTWD doesn’t limit their poc count to three, they still have a limit (The Walking Dead surely does, and it’s why a person of a specific ethnicity disappears or is killed off when another is introduced). Despite relatively recent studies that prove black people watch more TV and Asians spent more on movies and more time on media, it’s still deemed wrong to centralize people of color because writers prioritize white consumers. It’s racist and biased nonetheless but it’s a “rule” we can look further into in another discussion.

Of course, the showrunners wouldn’t admit to that, so I desperately searched for a reassuring answer. That’s when I happened to stumble across the article mentioned in the opening paragraph, but it made things more complicated and inexplicably racist. Why? Because if it is true, Travis was just a tool used to prop up Madison; the woman I knew would be lead lady because of her race. Since the significant rise of female leads in media, studies show that majority are only offered to white women. Now, we suddenly have this bizarre idea that killing off men of color in the name of white feminism is acceptable and equivalent to killing off just any man. Newsflash: It isn’t. Black men have had targets on their backs in horror/thriller genres and the same applies for other non-black people of color when tokenized in similar situations. It’s no different than the Women in Refrigerators trope, because Travis was used as a sacrificial lamb to motivate Madison’s story the same way women have been used for their male counterparts for years. When there isn’t a woman to spare for a male, there’s a man of color to spare for a white woman (e.g. NETFLIX’S DAREDEVIL SPOILER: The lone man of color (a black man) was strangled to death for Karen’s selfishness in Daredevil is a perfect example of this. Because he is dead it adds more to her story). Either way, this is a fresh problem that has begun to reoccur, but it needs to be addressed before it becomes the new WiR. Typically, men of color are rarely on par with white leads (male or female) in media. Now, if it does happen to become a trend, I suggest we coin it the “Choked out Journalist” trope (CoJ). FTWD adamantly proved to us that Madison would walk     to the moon and back if it meant keeping her favored son, Nick (Frank Dillane), alive. So why not kill him off to make her story more riveting? When it came to the selection of killing off a white male or Maori man in a show’s predicament, the Maori man was chosen and I find it more than a coincidence that Walker, another main  Native character, was introduced shortly afterward. 

This post isn’t to say that people of color shouldn’t die or be killed in films/TV shows ever; leads of color just shouldn’t be killed irregularly or killed for the sole purpose of being replaced by someone of the same ethnicity. For instance, we see this replacement done again with Luciana (Danay Garcia) and Ofelia (Mercedes Masohn) who both portray Latina women. However, their exit and entrances are done differently. When Luciana is brought to Broke Jaw Ranch, she is slowly given less dialogue and less involvement. She remains by Nick’s side until she conveniently suggests going to Mexicali. At this point, Ofelia had been missing the entire first half of Season 3 due to unknown circumstances. But when she happens to reappear, Luciana leaves the ranch in the same exact episode. There was no real critical reason behind it. She just easily leaves Nick; the number one love of her life. This action only proves to me that showrunners don’t want “too much” of the same race on their television show. That, ladies and gentlemen, is racist.

Writing characters of diverse backgrounds shouldn’t be done with such a tongue-in-cheek manner, because all it does is bait. Main characters of color should be able to be brought in without the need to sacrifice another. They should be developed and written with care just as their white counterparts would be. Overall, Travis, would have been an interesting addition to this season’s arc, considering that he is also of Native descent.

Fear the Walking Dead, Season 3A rating: 1.5/5 stars

Feel free to follow my blog for more posts and critiques on diversity & representation.

#review #my posts #native representation #leading moc #leading poc #ftwd #fear the walking dead #feartwd #cliff curtis #travis manawa #white feminism #women in refrigerators #native characters #diversity #representation in media #poc representation #poc deserve better #ftwd travis #ftwd chris #ftwd fandom #natives

[mythology-rants]

Heracles VS Disney’s Hercules

Alrighty, if you’ve been reading this blog for more than a few entries you know that I really don't like Disney’s Hercules when it comes to comparison to mythology. There’s very little that I actually find really similar, not his feats, not the satyr, and the god relations to him and each other are horrendous. I really don't know where to start in telling you the differences. I guess we can start with the beginning of the movie.

           The movie Hercules starts out on Mount Olympus, with all the gods celebrating the new god Hercules’s birth to his father Zeus and mother Hera. One, Heracles is not a god until the end of his life, two, Hera is not his mother, she actually hates him because he was born because Zeus cheated on her with a mortal (like he does a million and one times in ancient Greek myth). Also I will state (read: shout) this again: Hercules is Roman! His Greek name is Heracles! Hera actually hates him so much that she delayed his birth so another family member became king, lead to him being left for dead (in this situation Athena takes Heracles to Hera to be nursed because at the time the queen of the gods didn’t recognize him, which gave him his supernatural powers) in his and his brother’s crib she sends two poisonous snakes that he manages to strangle with his meaty baby hands. Also in the movie, Hercules is given Pegasus who was created from clouds. Ahh, no and no, Heracles never rides Pegasus and Pegasus is the son of Poseidon and Medusa.

           Hercules fails to accurately portray his youth as well, instead of destroying things and finding out he is descended from gods, Heracles ends up killing his music tutor and sent off to a cattle farm to live more peacefully (newsflash: peaceful doesn’t happen). Sometime during this he is taught by the centaur Chiron. Not a satyr, no goats here. Later he goes to Thebes and marries the king’s daughter Megara. Unlike the movie, she is not a woman in service of Hades because a) this is not a Disney movie meant for good and happy thoughts, and b) Hades is not really a bad guy in mythology, but I’ll cover that another time. He has a few kids with Megara and during this time, Hera puts him into a fit of madness, which leads to him killing his wife and kids. To repent he goes to the Oracle to see what he must do to be forgiven. The answer is to be in the service of his cousin, King Eurystheus for ten years. The king decides on ten labors. Not very kid friendly right? No, it’s really not. Trust me, it gets worse.

           The first of the ten labors was to slay the Nemean Lion, a beast so great that it had impenetrable skin. No arrows, no beatings by clubs, no weapons could injure it. He only managed by using his massive strength to strangle the creature before skinning it with it’s own claws. He from then on used the skin as armor. While the movie does show him fighting a lion and later wearing a lion’s skin, he did not fight a river guardian first (he encounters a river guardian much later in life) and definitely did not have paintings of him done in the skin. He was a busy hero with much to do.

           The second labor was slaying the Hydra, which originally had 9 heads, unlike the movie’s one, and while the heads did keep growing two with every one cut off, Heracles did not defeat it by causing a landslide, as it did not live in a cave but a swamp. He also did not defeat it alone but his nephew helped him, as Heracles cut the heads, the nephew burned the stumps so it could not grow two more. During this time he was also being attacked by a giant crab sent by, who else, Hera, the crab was of course killed, by being stepped on by Heracles. Only the last Hydra head was immortal and was buried under a large rock. Heracles then dipped his arrows in the poisonous blood of the Hydra to make them even more powerful. However, when Heracles and Iolaus went back, the king refused to count the labor, because Heracles was given help.

           While there are another 10 labors after, I’m going to skip over most of them that aren’t really important to the movie and thus don’t fit for the contrasting between Heracles and the Disney movie Hercules. I am however going to highlight this, in the movie Hercules says he ‘wrestled the Gorgon’, no, just no. One, there are three Gorgons, Medusa was the mortal one and her two immortal sisters. Two, Perseus killed Medusa, by cutting off her head, and he just happens to be Heracles’s ancestor. Hercules never met a Gorgon thanks.

           One last labor highlight shows one very important difference, Hades is not the bad guy. The final labor of Heracles was to bring Cerberus, Hades’s triple headed guard dog, to the surface from the Underworld. King Eurystheus thought this would be the greatest way to get rid of Heracles forever, and of course, Heracles had to do it. So, he journeyed to the Underworld and went to Hades to ask if he could take Cerberus for the labor. Hades agreed on one condition, Heracles had to defeat the animal by his own strength. He succeeds and takes the dog to the king, and then lets the dog go, who ends up back at his post. Unlike the movie, Hades is not the villain, he just is there for a tiny portion of Heracles’s life. Hades is just generally an easy scapegoat for everyone’s villain because he is king of the dead. He isn’t even god of death, come on people, stop vilifying Hades!!! (Ok, I know my next post subject, Hades.)

           Remember how I said that Heracles encounters a river guardian/centaur later in life? Well here it is. Heracles married again later in life to Deianeira, and they came across a river. The only way for Deianeira to cross would have been on the centaur’s back, so she was put on his back and taken across the river. However, after they crossed the river, the Centaur, Nessus, decided to run off with her to try to have his way with her. Heracles was enraged and shot one of the Hydra poisoned arrows into the centaur which killed him. However before Nessus died he told Deianeira to take some of his blood and if Heracles ever turned to other women, the blood would make him return to his faithfulness to her. Later, Deianeira was worried about Heracles marrying another woman, Iole, so she sprayed the blood onto a robe and gave it to him. The blood however was corrosive and lead to Heracles dying a harsh, painful and slow death. He climbed onto a funeral pyre to die and after his mortality was burned away, Zeus took him as a new god to Mount Olympus where he was accepted by most of the gods due to his exploits. Hera’s daughter Hebe even became his wife. (Once again, gods marrying siblings.)

           I understand the Disney movie was meant to be child friendly, but there is a limit of how off you can be before it completely misleads people. Heracles and the Disney movie Hercules have many more differences than similarities, and while as a movie it is good for children, keep in mind that Heracles’s life was definitely not that child friendly. Hades, if I didn’t stop here, you’d be reading a book instead of a blog post.

#hercules #heracles #greek mythology #humor #mythology rant

[ehhlien]

Except that OITNB features tons of women of color as main characters? And so does Handmaid's Tale? Haven't you ever watched either of them? Because none of the things you just said were true about either show? I don't know anything about WW though. But seriously you should watch those 2 shows bc Idk where you're getting your information.

You must be white 🙄

A tv show featuring people of colour in it, does not mean it no longer has the ability to be racist. A show has to do more than just have non whote characters. Those characters need to be well written and treated with respect, they all shouldn’t fall into stereotypes or have their entire storyline revolve around a white character. They also should end in horrible unjustified death as a way to teach (white) viewers a lesson or be an example (Poussey Washington).

The same way you think I didn’t do research on any of these shows before responding, you didn’t do research on me before trying to come for me. I do watch OITNB, and it is racist. That’s been talked about quite a lot for a while and I’d advise you to do some of your own research in your spare time to learn about it if you’re interested (which you’re probably not).

Gal Godat, star of Wonder Woman is a Zionist. She’s a proud supporter of the IFD who have helped in the ethnic genocide of Palestinian people. I’ve reblogged stuff on my blog under the tag /anti+gal+godat or you can look into that tag on Tumblr as well to see more in depth posts.

I don’t watch the Handmaid’s Tail but I’ve heard enough about it to know it’s some fucked up story about mass rape/slavery of women and stars a white woman. 🤢

Which was the point of my post; there are many incredible movies and shows staring women that show women led media is just as wanted as media led by men. But all the examples are super problematic and star white women. And a strive for white women isn’t a strive for all women because not all women are white. 💁🏽

I don’t know what criteria the OP was looking for when making their post, but they could have used more diverse shows/movies Like Ghostbusters or HTGAWM or Empire or Scandal. And no that’s not to say a post about women’s accomplishments need to feature only black women or non white women to be valid but newsflash: white women starring in and succeeding in tv and movies is not a new concept. 😒Examples of women of varying races staring in and succeeding in various pieces of media would have been better, as well as shows/movies that don’t have as much controversy in them.

To conclude: none of what you said is true and I don’t know where you’re getting your information from. 🤷🏽‍♀️

#Anyways.. don't come for me unless I send for you #Anti Gal Godat #OITNB #The Handmaid's Tale #Wank for ts #In case anyone is wondering: Yes I am going to watch season 5 of OITNB and yes I do intend to watch THMT #But will I pay $11 to watch a Zionist play one of the greatest superheroes of all time..? 🤔 #Survey says: No 🙃 #Lmao 😂

[jedivoicon-blog]

The Problems the Media  Has that No One Has Done Anything About

Here’s a newsflash for you, Media: we all know you want money, so suck it up and do your jobs. The public is ultimately DONE giving you unneeded money. Felix is innocent, and there is nothing more to say

Recently, YouTube’s most subscribed-to YouTuber, most commonly known as PewDiePie, underwent a series of media attacks due to the Fiverr video named “Death to All Jews”. There have been reactions to this incident all over the media: Youtubers defending their victim friend, online newspaper articles attacking the man, and viewers scrambling for evidence that PewDiePie did absolutely nothing wrong. The point of this article is to put all of this chaos to rest and to proclaim the ultimate movement which needs to be made by the entirety of the media. The definition of media in this context: all newspapers, online and offline, news channels, YouTube channels, blogs and bloggers, journalists, and any other form of media which is not listed here. The ultimate movement of the media, which all viewers are pleading for the media to take part in is this: lay off.

Felix Kjellberg, also known as PewDiePie, has been given unnecessary recognition for his offensive comments and “jokes” about anti-semitism. However, over the decades following the unfortunate events of the 1940’s, the media have made crude comments, worse than that of Kjellberg, that have been overlooked by almost everyone. The question is: why does this happen? Walt Disney, the founder of the well-known animation company Disney, was rumored to be a Neo-Nazi, but every subliminal message they sent out in their films and cartoons was ignored by the public and the media. This still occurs today as Disney backstabs the Jewish peoples, feminists, black peoples, the Orients, and the Latino peoples, as well as many other unnamed races. Why does Disney, an animation company loved by children and parents across the globe, get a pass for these hidden messages, but Kjellberg gets attacked by the media all over? There is no one specific answer.

Felix Kjellberg is not totally innocent in what he did, but he is no criminal. He simply played around on a website, and the Internet, being the effed-up place that it is, screwed up his intentions, making him seem like a villain. Is not everyone guilty of this in one way, shape, or form? This claim was backed-up by Philip Defranco, a vlogger on YouTube, who said, “It makes sense why Disney and YouTube would sever ties… it made sense from a purely business standpoint, I don’t support it, I didn’t want it to happen, personally, I found it disgusting… he [Kjellberg] was often misrepresented in any of his inclusions of anything Nazi related.” Another popular YouTuber named Mark Fischbach, better known by his fans as Markiplier, stated, “Respect: it’s something I feel has been lost lately… we’re all humans… I want to be very clear about something, Felix is not an anti-Semite and Felix does not advocate hate… we are all equal and deserve to be treated with respect.” Nobody pays attention to the defense that YouTubers like Defranco and Fischbach are offering to Kjellberg, for they are so blinded by the attention on him and the “wrongs” that he committed.

The media is by far the most hypocritical thing anyone has ever come across. It claims that black lives matter and only report the prejudice and the murders of the blacks, but then, they diss on said race, bringing their devoted viewers to believe that the murders are done justice. The same thing happens with the Orients, Latinos, the handicapped, women in the sex industry, homosexuals, transgenders, and every other unnamed group of people except tall, straight, white males who were born in the United States. Am I the only one who has noticed this? The answer is no, but if this answer is correct, then why has nobody done anything about it? The media has too much power. It is corrupting the minds of our children, teaching them the wrong things about ISIS and Donald Trump. Remember that these affected children are the very people who will be ruling the world one day. It is our job, as the people, to strip the media of all the unnecessary power which we the people have given it. Why do the media have so much power? We have given it such. We give the media power whenever we believe what it says. We give the media power whenever we don’t catch the subliminal messages which it hides within the fabric of its articles. It is high time we take away this power. The media has become more than a news-sharing network: it has become an influence on the government, on the younger generations, and is absolutely everywhere.

I believe the media is the most irresponsible pile of shit the world has to offer. No one can believe a single thing the media produce because all the facts are twisted and bent into a disfigured mess that no man or woman can truly understand. No one knew what to believe during the 2016 presidential campaign between Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump. Even more, the media has been focusing less on the actual issues of the world and more on the unnecessary issues that needn’t be shared. The media has dissed Felix Kjellberg for saying things about Jews, however, as anti-semitism has occurred for centuries, the newspapers decide to single out a young man instead of the popular animation company Disney, which has been anti-semitic for decades. The media have also reported silly things like homosexual marriages and trans-gender transformations. This is unnecessary to know about.

I, of course, am not saying that the media should become completely powerless. The media were originally meant to be a news-sharing network where the necessary world events are shared as facts, and it should revert back to this setup. Facts should not be bent and twisted by opinion, for they are what they are: facts. If such is done, no one will know what to believe, and soon, the facts will be morphed into disfigured statements which are untrue. This very thing occurred during the 2016 election campaign between Donald Trump and Hillary Rodham Clinton. The opposing sides of both candidates viciously attacked the man and woman running for the head position in the Oval Office. Never before has the Internet been blown up by such horrid statement of untrue brutality. The fact that no one bothered to try and stop that madness shocks me and compels me to believe that social media sites like Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Snapchat are irresponsible when it comes to such incidents. I, however, strongly believe that the media should take up all responsibility for the lies it has told.

The ultimate message: lay off of Felix and all other unnecessary media topics once and for all. Felix is a man, no worse than any man. He is no different than Donald Trump, just how he is no different from his fellow companions Mark Fischbach and Sean McLoughlin (JackSepticEye). I suggest that the media focus on the actual issues occurring in the world today, such as the tension between NATO and Russia and the conflict in the Middle East with ISIS. These events can shape history, not the silly comments one man was rumored to make against a race. Think about it, Media, what’s more important? Why report the lives of innocent people who simply want to live in peace? If the littlest thing becomes your greatest story compared to events that must truly be shared, then it has proved what your number one priority is. The answer: money.

#pewdiepie #injustice