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metalheadsforblacklivesmatter · 10 months

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Hey, love the post you make about obscure disabilities. Could you make/ have you made about dysgraphia?

Sure. This will be my post for disability pride month tomorrow. Which I'm posting now because I don't have the spoons to schedule it for tomorrow.

I hope you don't mind I turn this into a combo one because I have a hard time mentally processing one of these conditions without understanding all three.

(Obligatory I do not have any of these conditions. This is not meant to be a diagnostic tool. Please do your own research. I'm only answering a question that was asked of me and it's really hard for me to explain one of these without explaining all of the similar conditions to differentiate them.)

And I hope that you don't mind my poorer language skills right now I'm recovering from a server sinus headache I've had all day.

Dyslexia vs Dyscalculia vs Dysgraphia (bonus round Dyspraxia)

These issues have like, a 30% comorbidity rate. So if you have one there's a 30% chance you'll have either of the others. People with conditions may be perceived as "slow" but they are not intellectual disabilities (Not that there's nothing wrong with intellectual disabilities. I'm just pointing it out because people will say "you can't have dyslexia. You're so smart.")

But the fact that they're comorbid and often comorbid with autism and adhd causes some misunderstandings around the conditions because people think they have one condition and attribute all of their issues to the one condition with no knowledge that its not just one condition they're expressing.

Dyslexia

Dyslexia is characterized by the limited processing and comprehension of graphic symbols, particularly those regarding language. People with it have poor reading skills, flipping letter sequences and words, and poor handwriting. Although it is a learning disability, it's important to note that dyslexia does not impact a person's intelligence, although they may seem slower due to poor language processing skills. (There's nothing wrong with disabilities that impact intelligence, I just don't want people saying "he can't be dyslexic because he's so smart".)

Many representations of dyslexia often exhibit letters tap dancing across the page, shape shifting, and doing backflips. It's important to note that these are incorrect representations, because it's really hard to give a visual representation of what people with dyslexia experience. However, it's really harmful to express dyslexia in this fashion as it leads to people thinking that they don't have dyslexia when they actually do.

As I understand it, dyslexia is the eyes/ brain being able to flow seamlessly when reading large blocks of text. Ways to combat this is cut out a strip to block off lines when you read them. Use a highlighted strip of paper to highlight lines as you read them.

Fun fact, there's a few fonts that space the letters well enough and differentiate similar letters enough that make it easier to read. Comic Sans font is the most widely accessible accessibility tool for dyslexic people as it's one of the easy to read fonts that on every machine. (These accessibility tools have proven to make everyone read faster, dyslexia or no. But people with dyslexia have found them instrumentalin functioning. )

Another fun fact. Rick Riordan wrote Lightning Thief so that his dyslexic son could have representation in a character that had the same disability as him.

Dyscalculia

Dyscalculia is often called "math dyslexia". People with Dyscalculia have issues with numbers. They have poor math skills, issues interpreting graphs, issues doing basic arithmetic, issues understanding things like place value, issues understanding time especially when it comes to reading an analog clock, and issues seeing patterns. This often causes a high level of anxiety around math. Some reports say these people have issues with directions, remembering locations, and reading maps (though research is inconsistent on that one).

Dysgraphia

Dysgraphia is easy to mix up with dyslexia, which is why I needed to write all these out. Where dyslexia is difficulty reading. Dysgraphia is difficulty writing. Symptoms include difficulty writing words, expressing thoughts in written form, and organizing and processing your thoughts. This can cause issues with social communication for obvious reasons.

These people also may have fine motor perception issues, writing in a straight line, spacing their letters correctly, etc. Especially fine motor skills around writing. They may also have issues with grammar, punctuation, and capitalization.

Bonus Round:

Dyspraxia

This one gets mixed with dyslexia two. Dyspraxia is issues with spacial awareness. They often say they can't tell where their limbs are in space. They may have issues with coordination, walking in a straight line, and balance. It's very hard for me to conceptualize, but people that have it may say that they bang their limbs against things due to poor spacial awareness. Which honestly, relatable. I've slammed me calf into a door before. And my shoulder blade. How? Good question.

These people have issues in social situations because their entire focus will be on their coordination, not making a mess, and not making a fool of themselves, etc. Their issues actually get better when they drink because the stress of sucked situations makes it worse and alcohol loosens them up. (I'm not advocating for drinking, but saying that the issues resolving when your drink validates your dyspraxia, not invalidates it.)

I think a lot of people that know of the condition may think people with low depth perception have dyspraxia. A lot of people have told me they think I have dyspraxia because my lack of depth perception negatively impacts my spacial awareness.

-fae

#disability #disability pride month #disabilties #disability awareness #disability pride #disability awareness month #dyslexia #dyspraxia #dysgraphia #dyscalculia #adhd autism

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autismcats · 1 year

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what is the real hidden message of frozen 2′s “show yourself”?

so i got the inspiration earlier to finally rewatch that frozen 2 “show yourself” music video on youtube, and i had some thoughts in the middle of doing so.

as a disclaimer, i just want to say that i’m absolutely queer myself. this is not to discredit others’ interpretations of the song, and this is just my own take regarding my life experiences. i’m not claiming to speak for everyone in this post. in fact, i do still believe queerness has a lot to do with the subtext inside of the lyrics.

but anyway, i remember when the movie was in theaters at the end of 2019 and there were plenty of articles written about how “show yourself” has a hidden meaning about accepting the idea of being queer. there are lots of people my age who were new to identifying as lesbian, gay, bi, and/or trans at the time and i thought it made a lot of sense, especially because the headcanon and theory that elsa is a closeted lesbian was so popular at the time. it paved the way to shipping elsa + honeymaren (elsamaren) and made it easy to read frozen 2′s ending with them dating.

and that’s definitely notable ─ i’m not disagreeing!

but something always felt off about how i related to the lyrics personally and i was never sure why.

until i stumbled upon it again today.

in my opinion, i think the song is better heard with autism (or otherwise neurodivergency) in mind. it tells my story of finding the missing piece much better than it does of my realizing that i’m bi + trans, as well as my coming out.

again, i don’t think the LGBTQ+ reading is wrong! honestly i believe it comes down to a mix of both that and the autistic reading. but i see the latter outweighing the former here.

to me, i looked up these lyrics on google and my mind went straight to getting a diagnosis, an answer as to why my social life has always been so wrong:

i've never felt so certain all my life i've been torn but i'm here for a reason could it be the reason i was born? i have always been so different normal rules did not apply is this the day? are you the way i finally find out why?

everyone has something different to say about what part of their identity has impacted their experiences the most growing up. for me, it’s being neurodivergent. my sexuality, probably like most people (but of course not for many others), didn’t show up until my teenage years; same with my internal gender and outer presentation. my autism, however, has been present and influenced who i am for my whole life. i felt elsa’s longing and determination to find answers to her lifelong questions about not just who, but how & why she is in her musical journey throughout the ice caves.

i feel like we can all say confidently that who we are, regarding being queer, is something we can answer with the factual statement that we are queer and that’s just that, unless of course we get into the old debate regarding if it exists as nature vs. nurture. regardless, it’s always innate to some degree, and doesn’t inherently determine our personalities, behaviors, or understandings. autism & ADHD both do; it’s literally what defines autism as we know it.

that’s my argument. as i said, i’m not looking to “prove” anything or present my subjective opinion as objective fact. my take isn’t that the neurodivergent interpretation is more important or valid than the queer interpretation, just that i prefer the second option over the first.

either way, elsa is, without a doubt, an autistic sapphic! this is (part of) what makes her a valuable, relatable character to a lot of young people and we should always celebrate that. ♡

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sleeplessvalley · 3 years

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good

impostor’s in the shower

i can have a breakdown in peace for once

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lol-q · 3 years

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There’s so many things I love about the show that I haven’t seen people give enough credit for and I want to go on a little ramble because people are focusing so much on what they don’t like vs. what they do. So here’s my list. Sorry for the grammatical errors 😬

I love that the lesbian main character is this sweet, innocent, big hearted young woman and not portrayed as a overly sexual fuckboi that hits on every woman. I love that Fatou is soft and gentle. More lesbian rep like that please

I love the soundtrack. It’s exactly the type of stuff I imagine Fatou would listen to and it’s not just the top 100 hit songs.

I love that they use the soundtrack as a way to connect to the plot line, like the lyrics to the song Fatou was listening to when she was on the rooftop said “And I hate to leave you feeling all alone.But your story cannot start until you've grown. You can find how to be OK on your own. I just can't be the one that makes you feel at home” which was a hint as to where the plot was going

^^ also the song playing during Kieu My and Fatou’s museum date

I love the little mannerisms Nhungi chooses to show as Kieu My. The happy little bounce she did in ep 1 when she called out Fatou’s name and when she subtly checked Fatou out by looking her up and down.

I love how their rooms show their individual personality so well. Like Fatou’s room in the beginning of the season was normal and then it became increasingly messy as the episodes moved forward, showing her stress and chaos in her life

I love the height difference between Fatou and her brother lol

I love when her brother and her were thinking of what to get their parents so they split the bill on a gift - a very subtle way of showing siblings interacting

I love when Fatou and Ismail interact cuz it’s so funny

I love the physics teachers speaking voice, he sounds like kermit the frog

I love fatou’s eyebrows. Idk it’s just so perfect. Give me tips plz

I love that the characters rewear clothing. And it’s not a show where every episode is a new outfit with new clothes. Very realistic and it always bothered me when teens on highschool on tv have new clothes every episode

I love that Fatou’s original bio on tinder was “wanna cuddle?”. I feel like that girl would rather cuddle with someone than win the lottery. She’s so soft (also why did it say she was 24 in ep 2 when she was on tinder lol)

I love that the show showed the struggles of coming from a bilingual family and being the only one that struggles to speak it. When fatou was talking to her grandparents with her brother and her brother had to translate for her and it was awkward af, I felt that. I’m the youngest in my family and I struggle to speak Tagalog so people have to translate for me sometimes and it sucks.

^^ I relate to fatou so much in that scene cuz the dynamic in my family is the same as Fatou’s. My parents lay off and let me and my brother do our thing unless there’s an indication we need their help. The only time I ever spoke about school with my family was when report cards would come and they would see my grades weren’t that good. I remember my mom seeing I had a D in middle school and automatically jumping to conclusiosn without letting me speak. My brother is academically successful and he would also try and get me to do more school stuff when I was younger. Like he would make me do math problems to help with my grades. So it’s all very relatable for me

I love when Fatou sings, her voice is so soft and smooth.

I love whenever Kieu My and fatou are flirting both so blatantly and yet so subtly. Like the tension is there but it’s still awkward despite how smooth they both try to be it’s so adorable

I love how Fatou and Kieu My are so confident flirting and talking to eachother through texting but when it’s irl it’s still awkward and new. It shows the reality of an actual relationship in the making. It’s not just a full head dive into “I love you”.

I love when they were at the table tennis bar place and Fatou was hyping up Ava when there were dudes looking at them and Ava did a fancy ass turn and smile. She’s so pretty

I love that Fatou’s problems were shown in subtle ways in the beginning with money. Counting money at her job and when she wa trying to pay for the drink at the bar. It was a small interaction but in real life it would cause a lot of stress and anxiety if money counting problems kept happening over and over again

I love Yara and Josh’s friendship. More platonic friendship between a male and a female please. Also more Yara in general please.

I love that Zoe owned up to her actions last year to the entire group (minus Ismail Constantine and Kieu my) on New Years. I see her owning up to the role as Nora’s big sister.

I love when Josh was drinking a lot during New Years and Fatou was trying to get him to slow down. It shows how big her heart is for her friends. Also I think Josh and Fatou could be great friends

I love that Kieu My looks at Fatou like she hung the stars. When Fatou mentioned she knew Kieu My was a Scorpio, it’s the first time I’ve ever seen that girl smiled so big (before episode 5 of course)

I love that whenever they kiss Kieu my is smiling.

I love Sira’s side profile. There I said it. Girl has the jawline of a Greek goddess.

I love that they change Fatou’s hair. She looks good in every hair style but it’s always nice to see her in different styles.

I love that they showed the struggles of being a passive and gentle person. Because we’re not assertive in regular everyday life we are easily looked over. And it’s hard for us to muster the gusto to be assertive and take what we need because we prefer shying away from conflict and just letting things flow. I relate to fatou’s character so much in that sense. I lowkey think this is the universe’s way of telling me to stop being so passive about life and to take charge idk.

I love that the topic of white savior and performative activism was touched on. And I love that it was between two friends because it’s very realistic to how dynamics work between young people these days. The way they handle it differs in opinion but the fact that they even spoke about it was great.

I love that moment when Kieu My wrapped the vietnamese pancake in the lettuce snd handed it to Fatou. Its so sweet. If I was Fatou I would have forgiven her right then and there lol

I LOVE THE HEIGHT DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE TWo. YES MORE HEIGHT DIFFERENCE.

Episode 6. Just all of it. Even the angsty part. I want more of that. Episode 6 yes. I’ll marry episode 6

Kieu My wearing Fatou’s cardigan. 💕💕💕💕💕💕✨✨✨✨✨😫😫💕✨✨🥺

^^ but also as a person that tried bangs before, you can’t tell me that girl woke up with her bangs perfectly in place lol. This girl probably bought a mini straightener or something too

Fatou telling Kieu My it doesn’t matter if she wears make up or not rather than going off on how she looks prettier without it. She’s just like “it doesn’t matter. You’re pretty no matter what, my little space nerd”

Pissed off fatou is a hot fatou. Js

I love Sira’s acting in general. But the way she shows Fatou’s sadness is great. It’s not just tears and that’s it. When she got fired it was a build up of tears but she wasn’t sobbing, same thing with the cashqueens argument. But she broke when her and Kieu My got in a fight.

Finn being socially awkward. It’s so funny cuz Zoe is this bubbly party girl and her boyfriend is so awkward. Nice balance.

^^also his hair makes me laugh idk why

Ismail opening up to Fatou shows how so many people feel at ease with her. Girl has a calming presence for everybody, she doesn’t even realize how much she’s helped others.

I love that Constantine wears the same jacket over and over again. Idk it seems to fit his character.

^^also kudos to the actor who plays him, he’s doing an amazing job

Love Fatou. Love her dimples and her soft voice. She gets all high pitched when she’s normally speaking but when she was fighting with Kieu My her voice became lower. Just love the way Sira’s voice sounds. Also Nhungi’s speaking voice.

Love the shaky camera movements. The fast pans and the slow motion dance scenes.

Love the aesthetic of Kieu My smoking but PLEASE DONT SMOKE, CHILDREN. ITS BAD FOR YOU.

Love the different aesthetics of the cashqueens

Love maike. Great actress. Give this turtle an Oscar.

Love Kieu My climbing the roof to help her Fatou. Softie to her girlfriend but an ice queen to the world lol.

Love the actors. Love the characters. It just makes me so happy.

This is so well written, i might actually cry no but really it was really nice to read your positive and cuteee facts after the tag check :/ and it really helped because i get mad and sad when i see bad takes. Everything you said was so true and i think im fangirling over this essay. And it made me emotional 👉👈. Represantation does really matter.

This season is so important for so many people and i don’t think some people realize that when they’re ‘’criticizing’’ some things. Not only we have a lesbian main, we have a black lesbian main who is the softest person in the world and she has LD and/or ADHD. I sometimes can’t believe we got to the point of skamverse where we get rep instead of hurtful,problematic seasons and plots, some might interpret that as shade but it really isn’t, careless storylines really does hurt ppl and why would you want to hurt people when you can give 8 min of sapphic museum date instead 👭🌌 :)

i love this season, i love this gen and i love this essay

#no but i could go one by one and talk about everything you numbered #but im not gonna for the sake of other ppl #because everyone hates long post #people were really so cute in my asks today instead of defending constantin so that was nice👍#i do the others later #but this was so cute stopppp #shut up about my grammer!!#do not talk about my grammer #druck #ask

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kirksfattitties · 3 years

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asks you can smell the privilege and internalized ableism radiate from

(tw for ableism and other bigoted implications)

i’m bad at reading tone but even i understand that this is 100% you being condescending and trying to cover it up with smiley faces and false sincerity. and i don’t appreciate that.

before i get into deconstructing your shitty ableist argument, i want to explain the reasons i believe in self diagnosis (self-dx):

even professional diagnosis doesn’t start with a doctor diagnosing you. there has to be a reason for seeing the doctor. some people see a doctor in their adult life because they’re struggling, some people are taken by their parents, some people are referred or suggested that they see a specialist. whatever it is, you don’t just see a doctor and they magically give you a neurodivergency. people have neurodivergencies before they see doctors and even if they NEVER see a doctor.

the psychiatry system is flawed in MANY ways and to say that it isn’t means you’re denying the experiences of people with less privledge than yourself. also like psychiatry isn’t gonna suck your dick. you don’t have to be a bootlicker lol

in many places (hi hello i’m from america where our government tries to indirectly kill us by not providing us with adequate healthcare! i and many other people have many issues we can’t get fixed because simply our government cares more about the economy than us), seeing a psychiatrist or a therapist or going to a mental hospital or WHATEVER is INCREDIBLY expensive. and to assume that everyone has access and enough time/money/energy/transportation/whatever to do all of that is classist and elitist.

ANYTHING medical (including mental health) is biased towards white cis men. most studies are done on white cis men/boys. because of this, people who aren’t white cis men (or people who aren’t perceived as white cis men) are often not diagnosed. the system is racist. the system is sexist. the system is transphobic. people don’t know how to diagnose autism or adhd or personality disorders or other neurodivergencies or even mental illnesses in black people and other people of color, in women, in trans people, etc. and GOD FORBID someone be in multiple (or all) of those categories. saying “just go get diagnosed :)” is a privileged statement to make.

shocker! the psychiatry system is also ableist. if you’re already diasabled (whether it be mental or physical) and you see a doctor about ANOTHER disability? the doctor is most likely going to shoot you down. or at least be weary about someone having mutliple disabilities.

also most people who diagnose are neurotypical. they have never and will probably never experience neurodivergency so they can never fully understand it. they operate off of stereotypes of neurodivergent people and usually only stereotypical behavior of neurodivergent white cis men (which, as i mentioned before, is problematic for anyone who isn’t a white cis man). neurotypical diagnosers don’t know the neurodivergent culture and aren’t trained to recognize very common things (like masking for example).

a professional diagnosis can also be weaponized. not everyone can get a professional diagnosis because there are some neurodivergencies (such as autism and personality disorders) and mental illnesses (like depression) that can have legal and medical respercussions to have in your record. trans people can be denied medical and legal transition for being professionally diagnosed. people can lose custody battles for being professionally diagnosed. a professional diagnosis can be used as justification for taking away someone’s body autonomy (especially if that person is also physically disabled).

a LOT of neurodivergencies also have some type of symptom (or symptoms) that make it difficult to interact with people. troubles recognizing facial expressions, troubles understanding certain phrases and types of speech, paranoid about people, audio processing issues, being nonverbal in an environment that doesn’t accommodate for it, overstimulation, extreme social anxiety, discomfort in new situations, problems with eye contact, and a lot more. because like. for many nd people, interacting with people is very difficult and stressful. and hey. if you want to get a professional diagnosis? take a WILD guess what you have to do? FUCKING INTERACT with people! LIKE?? JEHDJJDKEKKDKDKDS. do you know how many professionally diagnosed nd people i know who made their appointment COMPLETELY on their own without help from a parent or family member or friend? LITERALLY ZERO! and i know A FEW nd people who have professional diagnoses! so if someone has social issues that prevent them from doing tasks like calling and making an appointment, showing up for an appointment, talking during the appointment, etc and ALSO doesn’t have familial or friend support (because newsflash! people who are friends/family of disabled people can still be ableist)? almost impossible to get a diagnosis! plus, the diagnosis process is TIME CONSUMING. not everyone can focus on a task for that long and not everyone can miss work/school for that long.

so those are the reasons i support self-dx. (although there’s probably more that i’m forgetting but i have adhd and it’s hard for me to remember things!)

so hopefully you now understand my reasons for believing in self-dx, and perhaps even you’re pro-self-dx now because before you were just uneducated on these issues and how they impact people who aren’t you.

but in case you’re still anti-self-dx and probably hate already-marginalized neurodivergent people, let’s talk about this horrendous ask (series of asks, actually) that i got sent. i feel like i can feel the self hatred and internalized ableism OOZING from this ask and into my inbox, so thanks for that i guess /s

“Sometimes people who self diagnose can take away from those who are actually nd, even sometimes from themselves.”

starting out strong with the ableism on this one by separating people into “self diagnosed” and “actually nd” people. self diagnosed people ARE actually nd

there’s not a limited number of nd resources. this isn’t a math equation of only x amount of people can be nd because there’s only y amount of resources. more people realizing they’re nd will actually MAKE more resources for nd people and will bring more awareness to being nd

even IF someone self diagnosed, and they go back on it later, what harm was done? they learned some coping mechanisms? they made some nd friends? neither of those are problematic and i think they’re both actually very helpful. i think nt people SHOULD learn more about nd people and stuff because i think that will lead to WAYYY less misunderstandings and WAYYYY less ableism

“There are many people who fake nds for attention,”

hey anon, what fucking world do you live in that nd’s are cool enough to fake having? because i would LOVE to live there. like, i literally had a post about my personality disorder (which i will not be specifying) i had to delete because people were sending my anons about how i was “scary” and “threatening” now that they knew i had the personality disorder i have. last year i left a discord server because the ableism i was recieving from not only the members of the server, but the mods as well. there are very few people i know irl who i tell about my personality disorder, but when i tell people about my adhd, they start treating me different. they infantalize me and make fun of me and use “jokes” about stereotypical adhd behaviors to alienate me and they even TELL OTHER PEOPLE without my permission. i was SEVERELY bullied throughout elementary and middle school for being nd. i have been refused job and educational opportunities as well as literal medical attention for being nd. people aren’t “faking” being nd, and if they were they probably wouldn’t be doing it for long because it’s not something that’s EASY to deal with.

kinda ironic that you’re saying people can’t diagnose themselves but that YOU can tell when someone is faking their diagnosis. that’s both hypocritical and a double standard.

masking exists. if you think someone isn’t “acting nd enough” they’re probably masking because they’ve been fucking bullied and harrassed. also you’re probably basing whatever you think nd is on stereotypes. not every nd person is sheldon cooper lol.

this is a side note but can we talk about how you’re literally just taking transmed rhetoric and molding it to fit nd people? like. you really come onto MY NONBINARY NEURODIVERGENT blog and expect me to validate your recycled “but what about the REAL [insert group] people?” ??? like grow up, elitist. you’re not better than anyone else just because you lick some boots 🥾 👅

“and claiming that self diagnosis (and this is just what I interpreted) is just as valid as professional diagnosis”

it is 😌

the only difference between self diagnosis and professional diagnosis is that a professional diagnosis can also get you medicine. not every neurodivergency needs meds and not every neurodivergency can be treated (at this time or even ever). for example, my pd (self diagnosed) doesn’t have a specific treatment but multiple symptoms of the pd (all professionally diagnosed) have specific treatments and medicines that work, so patients are given/diagnosed with/prescribed those instead. also, medicine doesn’t work for everyone! and sometimes people are allergic to or take medicines that will conflict with any new medicine.

“can really devalue the account of someone who actually has a disorder”

here we go again with that “self diagnosed” vs “actually nd” bullshit. literally just say you hate poor people n minorities and leave lol

someone having a different experience than you isn’t devaluing you, but if you’re the one who always has the spotlight maybe you should use your privledge uplift other marginalized people instead of feeling angry when everything isn’t all about you 100% of the time

“I have a second ask”

i don’t want it

“Plus it can be damaging for a person if they self diagnose wrong.”

how? what if they learn information that they wouldn’t’ve otherwise known like coping mechanisms that help them with their own neurodivergencies? that’s definitely not a bad thing

i think it’s funny that you bring up that people can self diagnose wrong and don’t even MENTION that doctors can diagnose wrong. like. you know. the people who GIVE OUT MEDICINE to people. i think it’s MUCH more dangerous when a PROFESSIONAL diagnosis is wrong. what are self-dx people with wrong diagnoses gonna do? read up on nd tips? maybe smoke some weed? drink some coffee? that’s about all they can do with a self-dx. but if a MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL gives you an INCORRECT diagnosis, they can ACTUALLY fuck you up.

“I was recently diagnosed with PTSD, a disorder which I would have never considered I’d have.”

that’s great about your professional diagnosis! i don’t know you but i’m glad you’re finding out about yourself and getting the help you want and/or need /srs

sorry if this sounds blunt, but honestly i’m not surprised you never considered you could have PTSD. based on your asks, you sound like you have a lot of internalized ableism you need to work through and a lot more research about neurodiversity you need to do. being anti-self diagnosis is a common belief among a lot of people with internalized ableism and a lot of these same people are the ones who have no issue with and even SUPPORT auti$m $peaks. many nd organizations that are run BY nd people (like asan) actually support self-dx.

“If I had of diagnosed my own symptoms and then started treating myself or taking precautions based on my self diagnosed "condition", it could of really hurt me.”

how? taking precautions to preserve your mental health is NEVER a bad idea. i’m not ptsd, but someone i care deeply about DOES have ptsd and has shared a lot of the precautions and coping mechanisms for ptsd with me and honestly they’ve been incredibly helpful. it’s almost as if different neurodivergencies and/or mental illnesses have overlap and that’s why there’s a whole community for us to be able to share these resources and information with each other!

the same person was rejected a formal autism diagnosis because of their ptsd, plus the fact that they’re transgender and the fact they have symptoms of adhd. it’s not really my place to talk about their experience with professional diagnosis, but i’ll send this post to them and allow them to add on their experience in a rb if they’re comfortable with that. but it’s almost as if their experience with the professional diagnosis process was unhelpful, harmful, ableist, and transphobic 🧐 and unfortunately this is a pretty common experience

“Also, by self diagnosing, I devalue the account of a person with the disorder l assumed I had.”

how? if someone thinks they’re nd, they have a legitimate reason for thinking so. either they have another neurodivergency than the one they thought they had, or they’re neurotypical and need to figure themself out and have a need for support. either way, they learned more about the specific neurodivergency, more about the nd community, and more about themself. i don’t see how that’s a bad thing.

if you think self-diagnosed people’s experiences inherently have less value, that is straight up ableism. especially considering that other marginalized identities and minorities have trouble getting professional diagnoses, you might also be bigoted in some other way. or at the very least, refusing to acknowledge your privilege.

“only one more I promise”

i don’t want it

“I understand that doctors are expensive and professionals can get it wrong,”

okay. if you understand this, then dm me your information so i can bill you for the cost of my professional diagnoses, the cost for my therapy sessions, the cost for my medicine, and the cost for transportation to and from all these places. PLUS the cost of the work and school i’ll be missing for these sessions. 🤲

“but self diagnosis can be really harmful to yourself or others.”

nah, you’re just ableist and a gatekeeper lol

“If you feel like you have a disorder, go see a psychiatrist, you may have it.”

[remembers when i went to a psychiatrist who diagnosed me with two major symptoms of a personality disorder and said i had other symptoms of the pd as well but refused to diagnose me with the actual personality disorder because i was a minor at the time and he told me “kids don’t have personalities so they can’t have personality disorders”. i understand being weary about diagnosing children with personality disorders because they aren’t fully developed but this dude straight up told me that i didn’t have a personality. this man literally only worked with children so that means he literally never diagnosed personality disorders. this man was literally just lazy and didn’t care about his patients. this man also refused to believe me when i told him the medicine he prescribed me made my symptoms worse and even made me hallucinate. he ignored me and refused to change my medicine so eventually i just changed psychiatrists and they put me on a new medicine that DIDNT make my symptoms worse and DIDNT make me hallucinate. also i looked it up after our session and apparently ONLY people with my pd and related ones experience hallucinations on that certain medication. it’s almost like his refusal to diagnose me and ignoring my symptoms/concerns harmed me. this man also constantly misgendered me and told me that homosexuality and transgenderism should’ve still been in the dsm. like golly, it’s almost as if being queer and neurodivergent in an extremely conservative state is harmful and dangerous. and that psychiatrists aren’t immune from being homophobic and transphobic and ableist.] but yes :) perhaps i should see another psychiatrist in this conservative state :)

“I don't want to undermine anyone's actual experiences, but it can be dangerous.”

then stop undermining people’s actual experiences :)

no ❤️

“If you feel like something's wrong, go see a professional.”

the whole point of the neurodiversity movement is that there IS no such thing as a “normal” brain, so saying that neurodivergent people have something “wrong” with them is ableist.

💰 🤲 hand it over

“I don't want to offend, I just don't want anyone to get mislead or hurt. :)”

you absolutely meant to offend. you literally said that self-diagnosed people’s experiences aren’t valid and have less value than people who have professional diagnoses

i know more people who have been (and personally have been) mislead and hurt by professionals than by simply existing as a self-diagnosed person

also i want to say that being pro-self dx is NOT being anti-professional/formal diagnosis. i think that people should absolutely get a professional diagnosis (if they are able to without negative repercussions)! being pro-self dx is more inclusive of marginalized people (like people of color, women, lgbtq+ people, people with multiple disabilities, etc). pro-self dx is simply just saying that professional diagnosis isn’t the only option

(neurotypical people and anti-self dx people don’t add anything; pro-self dx neurodivergent people are allowed to add with their experiences if they want)

#asks #long post #nd adventures #ableism tw #sexism tw #racism tw #transphobia tw #misgendering mention #medical abuse mention #not star trek #homophobia tw

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adhdtogether · 3 years

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hi! i noticed you have inattentive adhd, so do i, but i dont hyperfixate (or i havent in a very long time, im not sure) im just wondering if thats because i have inattentive type or something? or if maybe i was misdiagnosed? idk if you answer questions or not tho so you can ignore this if you want :)

Hello! Yes, I do answer asks, though I don’t get very many.

I did some quick Googling to see if I could find anything more authoritative than my own experiences. I found this study published just last month that says it found no meaningful difference in the frequency, duration, or pervasiveness of hyperfocus between people with ADHD and people without. (This study has some really interesting charts and stuff--I recommend taking a look!)

The study also broke out Inattentive vs. Hyperactive types of ADHD (see Table 3 at the above link) and it looks like, based on their findings, that hyperactive types experience hyperfocus more often and more pervasively. (Someone please correct me if I’m wrong--I took one social research class in college and I’m doing my best to remember how to interpret these kinds of tables!)

However, this study points to previous other studies that have shown the opposite. That first study also noted that hyperfocus “is a known symptom in clinical practice, [but] it is not included in diagnostic manuals as an official symptom of ADHD.” So I can’t say whether you were misdiagnosed, but hyperfocus is not required to receive a diagnosis!

So... it sounds to me like, clinically and research...ly speaking, it’s inconclusive??

Switching to my own experiences, I do experience hyperfocus/hyperfixation, to varying degrees. Here are a few of the ways I’ve experienced what I consider to be hyperfocus:

Spending 15 hours straight playing Stardew Valley, barely stopping to pee and eat.

Getting a crush on someone and thinking about them ALL. THE. TIME.

Becoming so focused on my work that I don’t notice when someone is trying to talk to me.

Reading books in one sitting for 10+ hours straight.

Glancing at tumblr in the morning and then realizing I’ve been scrolling for over an hour and now I’m late for work.

Glancing at tumblr before bed and then realizing that I’ve been scrolling for over an hour and I’ve lost out on precious sleep time.

Getting into a new show or fandom and trying to absorb everything about it (I do this less now, but you should have seen me in college learning everything there is to know about David Cook from American Idol season 7 and memorizing entire sections of The HP Lexicon.)

So, I guess, I think it’s different for everyone. And I don’t think these are the only ways to experience hyperfocus. Hyperfocus can look like laziness. It can look like nerdiness or fan culture. It can look like “selective hearing” or other forms of inattention.

It’s not one size fits all.

And, personally, I don’t think a lack of hyperfocus means you don’t have ADHD. This article from ADDitude Magazine says that “hyperfocus is thought to result from abnormally low levels of dopamine... This dopamine deficiency makes it hard to “shift gears” to take up boring-but-necessary tasks.” If you don’t hyperfocus, your brain probably has other coping mechanisms it prefers to make up for your lower levels of dopamine.

I hope this was helpful!

#adhd #actually adhd #adult adhd #women with adhd #adhd inattentive #hyperfocus #hyperfixation #ask #answered #carbonated-table-spices #adhd studies

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cadykeus-clay · 3 years

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Would you mind sharing your thoughts about vex and Beau being cross campaign foils?

so!!!! first things first: apologies for taking weeks to answer this, finals + having adhd sometimes makes my brain turn to mush and forget every ask ive ever recieved. second of all, i’m assuming you sent me this bc of what i said in my vm vs. m9 how they view the world meta. and i’ll be real with you. i have exactly 0 memory of what was going through my head when i wrote that line, so i am simply going to type out a bunch of thoughts that i have on the similarities and differences between beau and vex and i hope that lives up to what you were expecting jsdflksjdksld

I'll detail some specifics in a moment, but overall, I think beau and vex share a very similar kind of trauma of exclusion in their formative years, that's caused them to have a lot of similar traits that manifest in different ways - for vex, she maintains control through her material posessions and beau finds an emotional control in her asshole-ness. I've broken this down into 5 points on which I think comparing the two really emphasizes that claim:

1. daddy issues: both beau and vex have awful no good terrible very bad dads. both syldor and thoreau can suck my ass. they both raised their kids with little love and impossible-to-meet expectations, alientating them and leaving them with lifelong feelings of inferiority and unbelonging. If beau and vex were to meet, i think they would have a very friendly toast to shitty dads, and then have a good drunk vent about it an hour later.

but, at the same time, the actual minutae of their trauma and the ways it manifests are nearly polar opposites. syldor wanted nothing to do with vex, or else wanted her to somehow become a full elf. her issue was that she would never be able to belong, despite her desire to, and as she grew up it lead to her being overly protective and even possessive of the people she found who DID accept her as she was.

With beau, rather than exclusion, her father created an environment of toxic inclusion. He created a role for beau to belong in, disregarding her distate for actually fulfilling it. And, as such, she ended up making herself into someone who could have no expectations and pushed away anyone who tried to set them up for her. In the end, they both came to love themselves by abandoning the woman their father wanted them to be but for vex it was the laying down of an impossible dream and for beau it was the picking up of a mantle she had feared to wear.

2. brothers: now, on the topic of family, I also think its really interesting how their interactions with their brothers play out. We've got vex and vax, tied at the hip til the very end and then some; and then we've got beau and TJ - decades apart and with beau barely acknolwedging TJ's existence. But, even that distance between beau and TJ didn't stop her caring for him when they actually met. She gave him lucky Jade, and she entertained the idea of kidnapping him to get him away from her stinko dad.

And I'd espeically like to talk about what she said outside the hag's hut - "I think Luc and TJ could be best friends", in comparison to the way Vex reacted when Vax told her was going to Zephrah with Keyleth for the year break. There's an aspect to the way they interact with their brothers that lets them slip back into those bad habits they formed growing up (NOT that i'm claiming vex and vax were like toxic for each other. but even good relationships can have unhealthy moments).

With Beau, when she offers to give her happiness so TJ can grow up safe, she's trying to take on the role she's ""supposed"" to fill - the big sister, the protector - because she failed to fill the one her father set out. And with Vex, when she grows jealous of Vax, it's because she's afraid that his leaving with keyleth is a sign that she no longer belongs in his inner circle, and she falls back on that childish, desperate desire to do anything to be accepted unconditionally.

3. romance: spoilers for 5 or so most recent m9 eps (115-120) if you haven't watched them ahead!!!! at this point, both vex and beau have an endgame romance - percy and yasha respectively. Obviously as the m9's campaign is still playing out, that could change, but like. yasha wrote her a love letter and they're officially going on a date so i'm counting that as at least endgame-track rather than just random flirting. What's interesting to me is that they both seem to flip between the SAME roles between their (in-game) general perception and their actual pursual of romance.

Vex gets characterized as a pretty big flirt, right? She's got the winks, the casual "darling". She's flashed grog her boobs on multiple instances with little prompting. Beau, similarly, has easily the most game out of anyone in the m9. She's slept with two guest characters and at least one more npc in the events of the game. Caleb made her a fuck mirror in her room in the mansion. And yet, in both of their actual romantic endeavors, they became the shy, uncertain type.

Vex only confessed her feelings when Percy was laying dead before her, and not an hour of game play before percy kissed her in the woods, she had a talk with vax about how she was pretty sure he didn't like her that way and she didn't want to pursue it. Beau, similarly, spent a very long time convinced that yasha wasn't looking for love after zuala, especially not in anyone like her, asked everyone in the party if they thought yasha ACTUALLY liked her, just to be safe, and then still terrified to ask her out after recieving a literal love letter. I'd argue this shift comes from that same sense of unbelonging - they're very good at pretending they fit a role but doubt their actual right to take it when the opportunity is presented. This time, the role is the lover rather than the daughter.

4. authority: Both vex and beau grew up shunned by the upper crust of society, and grew to mistrust those kinds of people. And yet, both of their arcs result in them assuming such a position. Vex, thrown out of high society gets her place as a baronness, and Beau, running from leadership of her father's business ends up a top member of the Cobalt Soul. There's not a lot here, but I find it interesting how both of their stories involve them shedding their baggage regarding authority and power and assuming it in a way that they feel comfortable in - invitation by someone she trusts for vex, and a promise of freedom of will and control for beau.

5. their deadliest sins: this is the point at which their similarities culminate and transform to a fundamental difference. despite everything they share - shitty childhoods, the small piece of family that's still good, flirtiness masking shy love, and a mistrust of those in power - vex and beau are such different characters because of their biggest vices. Vex, both in game and out, is "the greedy one". She's stingy with money, she haggles for everything, she mourns the loss of physical objects. Beau is "the mean one". She cares little for people's feelings if they're not in her immediate circle, she focuses on her tough guy image, she laughs at things she knows she shouldn't.

And, over the course of the campaign, as they find unconditional acceptance, they grow away from these traits (I won't say they grow out of them) because they heal from the things causing these vices to begin with. I've always been vocal about vex's greed being a manifestation of her class insecurity, and beau's asshole-ness stemming from her fear of being forced back into another position of complacency. And I stand by that now - all the similarities in their backstories are what tally up to these different women.

Despite her careful tally of party funds and her reflexive bargaining, vex is not cruel. she is not angry on her own behalf. She saves two boys from the market in the city of brass at great personal cost, she relinquishes an entire dragon's hoard to the devastated city of Westruun, she took the time to save a baby bear from a cage when she could have just cut and run after escaping her own. She's the first one most people go to when they need a shoulder to cry on, and she's devastated when they don't (thinkin about when Scanlan left). She carved "forgiveness" into the bow she stole from a man after killing him by proclaiming how much she loved someone, because she knew anger had no place in her heart.

And Beau, Beau is a bitch and she's harsh, but she doesn't hoard or protect like vex did. she spends her money without much of a second thought. She pitches in to help her friends buy a ton of glowsticks, and she loves to indulge in material desires like drink and good food and the nicer inn room. She's a member of an organization that's about making knowledge public rather than guarding it. And, though this may be controversial, I think her position with bowlgate of "its not our problem what cali wants to do with it", her long-standing mistrust of their alliance with the bright queen and and more recently with the tomb takers of "i want to go in and talk, rather than assuming they're antagonistic, even if it puts us at a disadvantage" are both examples of this non-possessiveness too - she has no need or desire to get involved in controlling what other people are doing.

so, i guess the general conclusion here is: vex struggles to let go of things, of money, of people. beau struggles to let herself be known in case she gets wrongly interpreted again. they both fight feelings of inadequacy, they both fight the feelings of not belonging, of 'doing it wrong', they fight the perception of them as shitty people because of the shells they hide in despite their absolute hearts of gold. but at the end of the day, vex's story is one of having to lay down what could never be hers so she can carry what is, and beau's story is one of allowing herself to be known so a place can be made for her.

#hope this is what you and that other anon were looking for jdsflkdsajfsaldfsa #critical role #vexahlia #beauregard #long post

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lesbeet · 3 years

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Have you seen the latest discourse about if ADHD would exist under communism? I know you've talked about it before and I'm curious what your take is!

oy dfjlksjdf yes i’ve seen it, and as usual i think it’s a matter of people talking past each other more than anything else (at least from the posts i’ve seen)

i could be wrong, but my interpretation of the conversation is basically that the Communists (idk if this is even an accurate distinction bc i don’t necessarily think the “other side” is anticommunist? but ykwim) are trying to discuss the nature of “disorders”/disability in general, and how it’s a societal structure that designates people as either Able To Be Exploited By Capitalism or Unable To Be Exploited By Capitalism—in other words, if we took capitalism out of the equation and really examined what’s considered a disability vs what isn’t, it would seem like a pretty arbitrary line to draw. not because the underlying physical/neurological conditions would cease to exist, but because much of what is considered “abnormal” or “disordered” etc would not cause distress bc of a struggle to operate within the narrow and rigid confines of being “Normal” as determined by capitalism

the opposition, from what i’ve seen, seems to be, yes, less familiar with these ideas/maybe not as well-read on the topic, and are basically saying “okay, but even if a lot of my ‘symptoms’ wouldn’t cause me distress under capitalism, there are others that will—i’ll probably still struggle to feed myself, whether that’s bc i forget to eat, or i have trouble preparing food for myself, etc”

and then rather than trying to explain themselves further most of the Communists are like “under communism someone else can feed you <3 read a book <3″ which is....not at all helpful lmfao

like first off i think that’s such a bad-faith response to a bad-faith reading of these people’s concerns, and second, while nobody is obligated to educate other people etc etc, at a certain point i think that if you’re gonna make posts about stuff like this you’re kind of inviting a conversation, right? and it’s not really a conversation if the only people you’ll engage with in good faith are the ones who already agree with you.

i think the other side came across as defensive, certainly, but it’s not difficult to see where that comes from—people w adhd (among many many other things obviously, but this conversation seemed to be primarily about adhd) are used to being ignored or patronized or treated as if we don’t understand our own experiences, we’re told that our struggles don’t exist, etc. and it looked like a lot of the Communists have experienced/do experience the same thing in their real lives or whatever, so i’m not really sure why there’s such a lack of understanding and compassion on their part

so basically they’re talking about two different things. one side is saying that “people with adhd” (or, more broadly, “people with disabilities”) as a distinct category of people would not exist under communism, and the other side is saying “sure, but that doesn’t mean all of my adhd symptoms will magically disappear” and the first side is saying “but none of it will matter, dummies! you don’t understand communism!” which again, is not helpful!

and because they’re really talking about two different issues, i kind of agree and disagree with both sides. i’m fully on board with the idea that disability a distinction/class/etc would not exist under communism (ideally we’d have individualized medicine/care anyway imo), that adhd as a diagnosis wouldn’t be useful, and also that many adhd symptoms that can be completely debilitating in our current society would cause us significantly less distress, especially in our external lives

that being said....there is a neurological component to adhd which would still exist under communism. i’ll still probably struggle to have conversations without spacing out and/or taking over and not being able to get myself to shut up, which would still cause problems in my personal relationships with people. i would still probably struggle with organization and getting myself to do tasks which don’t interest me, etc. and even though i trust that the Communist Side is well aware of this, "someone else will do it!” seems like a ridiculous answer to me bc like...i have to assume that some level of personal responsibility will still exist lol

and i saw someone say "nobody's saying your individual symptoms wouldn't exist at all under communism" -- except i literally HAVE seen people say exactly that lmao

but anyways it's tough bc first of all, we were all raised in the same capitalist hellscape that made it purposely ultra difficult to imagine our lives without it, and second of all, despite knowing that there's not really a material basis for adhd as a distinct Disorder™, for a lot of people (myself included) even having the label makes a difference. like my life genuinely changed when i started looking into adhd and when i got the diagnosis and started taking meds etc, but mostly it was the sheer relief that there wasn't just something fundamentally and irreparably Wrong with me that meant i would have to slog through the rest of my life, struggling and unsatisfied with no recourse yknow?

and that can be dangerous because a lot of people don't exercise critical thinking like.... ever. but i feel like i understand myself well enough and know enough about adhd (at least based on the research currently out there) to be able to think through like, how my different symptoms manifest, how similar symptoms from other disorders i have manifest, how adhd in general affects the way i function, etc, which means it's slightly easier for me to parse like...what would still be a problem without capitalism and what wouldn't

so yeah like. without capitalism, adhd wouldn't exist, and while the biological basis for adhd WOULD still exist, there would (hopefully) be structures in place to manage or alleviate much of the distress that comes with those symptoms, which wouldn't be viewed as symptoms at all because they wouldn't be considered Disordered, yknow?

so like ultimately i agree w the Communist Side in this particular discussion (not shocking since i'm a communist lol) but i think the way the whole conversation has been approached is counterproductive and doesn't actually help people to understand what they're missing lol

#anonymous #answered

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astyle-alex · 3 years

Text

Common Sense Meets the Autism Spectrum:

| a Parental Aide for ALL |

Last month was Autism Awareness Month, and in honor of that I've whipped up a little Parental Aide to help all grown-ups understand neuro-divergence a tiny bit better. I meant to post it here during the last week of April, but I forgot because of the craziness with Finals... But since Autism and neurodivergence doesn’t just magically go away at the end of April, here’s a little skim of it now:

I've recently been chatting with a new consultation client / parent whose child has been recently diagnosed with Autism, and it got me thinking about the unfortunate nonsense surrounding the entire societal black hole of neuro-atypical / neuro-divergent presentations, especially in 'unusual' cases.

The first thing that needs to be said is IT'S A SPECTRUM, and it's honestly a comprehensive population spectrum, which means that EVERYONE IS ON IT.

Yes, say it with me: Everyone is on the Autism Spectrum.

From being perfectly, generically neuro-typical humans to rage-murder psychopaths to non-verbal, high-physical autistic kids to sociopathic con-artists. It's a SPECTRUM.

Accepting that is the first part of understanding it. And it's sometimes helpful to know in order for parents still in diagnosis shock to have something that reconnects them to their child. If you've recently received a diagnosis and you've dissociated at all, or know someone who is in that situation, knowing that the parents and the child involved are both still on the same spectrum, can help.

(It's a sense of cohesion and sameness that parents dream up for offspring, and can be problematic if over-done, which is why parents sometimes force their hobbies / goals onto children or react poorly to LGBTQ+ explorations / self-discoveries, both of which are fodder for plenty of other posts).

Once the spectrum is accepted, we can move on to understanding it better, and to diagnosing attributes of it that are affecting our lives. Knowing these attributes can help us navigate them, even in a capacity where the effect of them is not so severe that we call it a neurodivergence.

There's a stigma with mental illness, and autism is a trigger word regarding that, but it shouldn't be. We don't (as much, any more, at least) shame people who don't have clinical anxiety, but still exhibit crowd skittishness or phone distress or choice paralysis. And, honestly, mild autism frequently presents as anxiety, in our current popular understanding, as it's often limited to one or two aspects of life that provoke dramatic aversion responses where as actual, general anxiety is usually a more evenly distributed with lower-key hesitance / avoidance. Mild autism also presents as ADD / ADHD (and in my opinion the ADD / ADHD diagnosis tools are essentially boiling things down to 'not a psychopath but probably autistic, but not like the autism in in the popular imagination').

We accommodate the small symptoms of both autism and anxiety, adjust what we can and power through what we can't.

That adjustment is a lot easier when we know the triggers for the distress.

Now, the scaling systems I'm about to share are not professional, not part of the DSM, and not a tool of formal diagnosis. Consult a licensed professional before taking any big steps, but take a look at these scaling systems to help start a conversation (even if it's only with yourself). I might have another post on adjustment strategies, because these don't really address the links between presents-as-anxiety and autism, but for now, we're just gonna look at how to start asking questions and how to wrap your brain around the biggest bit of the autism concept.

Again, none of this is a diagnosis or a practical guide on how to cope, but it is helpful to be generally informed enough to start recognizing issues / asking questions about what else might be affected by a given place on a scale.

So, Autism is a spectrum, right?

Well, technically, it's multiple spectrums.

There are several sub-spectrums that layer over each other.

The crux of it, the most basic version specific to autism, is this:

Understands Emotion -- vs -- Does NOT Understand Emotion.

Now there are varied layers of that, such as 'displayed' emotion (like in facial expressions), or 'tonal' emotion (like voice tones), or even 'conceptual' emotion (as in the basic cause / nature of emotionality).

Plenty of kids understand Tonal Emotion (hearing and recognizing the difference between Mum is angry and Mum is happy), but not Conceptual (this is called being young, and usually gets grown out of as kids actually experience {and label} more emotions, the process starts at age 3 or 4, but honestly continues for most of life). Or kids may be able to hear tonal changes and interpret them accurately, but they don't read faces well (this is either a significant indicator of some sort of disconnect or, can indicate that the facial expressions they have seen shift do not shift in a way that is consistent with tonal changes {like if a parent is angry and tries to hide it with a smile}.). Some kids can track the changes in tone and expression but can connect them to a concept (such as 'fear' which doesn't develop as a concept to children until about age 5~7, even in horror-story situations, like children in warzones, only get a really nuanced concept fear a year or two earlier).

The second BIG scale to assess things on is intro- or outro-spective, and it's a 2-for1:

- misunderstand -- VS -- understands OWN emotions

-- vs --

- misunderstand -- VS -- understands OTHERS' emotions

AND misunderstands or understands the CAUSES of emotions in self / others, and why those causes and interpretations may be different for various individuals (which requires understanding the concept of there even being varied individuals, a process that ).

This is the line between "I like it, so others DO" vs "I like it, so others MIGHT", that is difficult for young children. Having a distinct sense of a separate self is actually a complicated psychology process, and it takes over a year for most infants to even recognize that they have a reflection. If understanding the self/others division stays extremely difficult passed age 7-ish, we maybe should look more closely. But at the same time, it's rarely before that 5~7 range when kids begin to understand that shopping for a birthday present for a friend involves thinking about what the friend would like, and not what the kid themselves like.

And there's still gonna be moments of grown-up fan-rage at why don't people ship my ship?, but all we might wanna do is limit time on Reddit or Tumblr when in anxiety mode.

The final BIG spectrum used in understanding these autism specific neuro-disconnects is one that revolves around concern for the disconnect:

Does not fully understand all aspects of Emotion and CARES that they don't.

-- vs --

Does not understand and does NOT CARE.

This disconnect leads to Performative Emotion, which means acting the part of emotional responses without a full understanding of all aspects of them. Sometimes this is good, as in exhibiting quiet displeasure even though I think this warrants screaming because, I don't wholly understand what I or others feel, but I do understand the appropriate / expected response. It can also be very bad, as in someone who understands the emotional response to pretend to have when a pet dies and is aware that doing so can cover that the pet was killed intentionally by said someone.

The last relevant spectrum isn't one that most people find critical, but I think it's important to delineate this one from the caring aspect. The previous note is specifically about caring in regards to the subjects understanding of emotion--and exclusively their understanding of emotion.

It is not a measure of concern for other respects of life, that spectrum is:

Sympathy -- vs -- Empathy

Now, defining terms is important here.

- Sympathy = care for how others feel

- Empathy = understanding / comprehension of how others feel

Someone who self-refers as an 'Empath' is actually expressing a high sympathy response, as in, I understand your pain so well, I feel it myself. What they mean to say, is that they understand the feeling and its causes well, and they care so much that they cause themselves to experience it.

This is also the line between Sociopaths and Psychopaths, as most people know it. The truth is a lot more nuanced, but basically, a Sociopath often lacks Sympathy, but has Empathy, where a Psychopath most often lacks both.

A Sociopath understands that they have a disconnect, cares that they do, and hides it by performing the emotive responses they are aware are appropriate (for the most part, occasionally making some exceptions due to exhaustion with the performance, or a lack of genuine care allowing for selective exploitation--making them great sales people / CEO's / business people / lawyers / writers / con-artists / Sherlockian private detectives etc).

A Psychopath either doesn't understand they have a disconnect, doesn't care that they do, or both. They rarely perform emotions and therefore often draw people in who feel trapped and in need of counter culture. They make great cult leaders, but not much else (occasionally business people, but some of them are cult leaders by a pseudonym). They truly CANNOT conform, and that can be seductive / freeing to others, but they also cannot conceive of anyone who decides to follow them ever changing their mind or not experiencing exactly the same emotions / emotive responses to stimuli as they do.

BOTH are considered extreme presentations of their respective trait.

People with both very high and very low sympathy get exhausted around others.

Because experience other's emotions or pretending to care about others' emotions is HARD. It's work and it's exhausting on both ends.

People with both very high and very low empathy get anxious in not being around others for prolonged periods.

High-Em usually worries over current states (ie, what if something happened to them or what if they hate me now), whereas Low-Em usually worries over reunions (did I forget something someone else would've remembered, birthday, holiday, or that I was gonna bring you something we discussed).

And, as always, Presentations vary. HUGELY.

But sometimes, being told you're looking at an abstract a picture of a dog, helps you spot the dog in the ink squiggles.

'Normal' isn't a fixed point, it's a range within every single subject presenting mild deviations that come together to form an average in a single person, and are then averaged again across populations.

Such data can always be understood better. And better understandings allow better accommodations to be made.

Therefore, a given person's place on any part of any one of these spectrums needs to be assessed and reassessed constantly.

Also, if you're interested in learning more / supporting Autism Advocacy, check out a few more resources, but for the love of god DO NOT give money to Autism Speaks. Take a looks at THIS and do some research of your own! ^_^

Again, this is just a vague baseline, and it doesn't address symptoms like Face Blindness (in ability to recognize people by faces) or stimming (self-stimulation or emotive overwhelm release) or even environmental sensitivity (extreme dislike / like of certain noises, colors, light levels / sources, tactile sensations). Even so, it might be informative enough to start getting a conversation started and it'll be helpful for me to refer back to this one while making other Spectrum related posts.

^_~

For more on what I’m getting up to (and for more timely updates), check me out on Patreon!

#autism #autistic spectrum #neurodivergencies #spectrum #adhd #adhd problems #adhd culture

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shockpop · 4 years

Text

important changes to canon !

after some heavy consideration , i’ve decided that the only family denki has from this point on is his MOM , KAMINARI NARIKO . the rest of canon will be the same in that nariko adopted denki from her older brother at a young age , works as a nurse at hosu hospital , and is very close to her son .

the decision to cut out the other 2 family members mostly comes from me thinking long and hard about what’s been shown of denki in canon , from manga to anime to the first movie and light novels --- and honestly , i think that being the child of a single parent reflects in a lot of his characteristics !

not so much the assumed maturity aspect of it , but like , the role he plays as someone who evens out his class / brings people together / instigates social interaction can be interpreted as a way of taking initiative when he sees a job that he thinks needs to be completed , i . e . bringing up the general morale or making sure everyone’s emotional needs are accounted for ( as we’ve seen from his extreme concern / empathy for others and how his strong intuition can’t be quelled until he gets to the bottom of something ) .

other examples of some typical single - parent - raised characteristics that denki exemplifies in interactions with his friends : a. showing an immediate concern for their well - being ( worrying about kirishima’s grades during the red riot arc , about jirou when she initially rejected the attention given to her about her talent and when she was feeling self - conscious around yaoyorozu’s mom , and about bakugou and kirishima when they diverged from the class at the license exams )

b. feeling the need to validate them , at times without cause ( reassuring shinsou that his efforts to become a hero weren’t being made in vain , compliment yaoyorozu on her creative decision - making abilities ; tsuyu for the same reason , and praising bakugou for his multiple talents , even over something as simple as winning an arcade game )

c. encouraging honesty / communication / overall togetherness ( implied offscreen time between him and bakugou shows that bakugou has educated denki on the functionality of his grenades and the fact that his parents forced him to take music classes as a kid , which means denki bugged him enough to do so but with the intent of building upon their friendship / getting bakugou to open up a little more )

denki is also someone who seems to have no problem involving himself in a lot of decision - making scenarios amongst the class , eagerly giving his opinions as he might be used to doing so in a single - parent environment ( having a say in household issues ) .

also , in the few times they’ve been paired off into groups for mission training , denki is usually the one assuming responsibility for the group’s actions , or being the one to at least cook up some sort of plan moving forward --- perhaps only neglecting to do so in the most recent event of class a vs . class b because he’s realized that his plans tend to not be the most thought out . still , the natural mindset to take on some role of leadership could be derived from being entrusted by the parent to take on difficult tasks / be expected to pull his weight from a young age .

his fluidity with his social circles and readiness to hang out at any point could also come from being used to having a lot of time in his schedule due to the absence of the working parent , even if his current schedule isn’t actually all that clear ( he’s not doing his schoolwork / studying properly , so he could be avoiding it to resume a life of no real responsibilities , especially if he feels the need to refamiliarize himself with the lifestyle to feel like he’s still a kid in the current climate of his hero career ) .

in the same breath , though , you could draw two other reasons for that : that the reason he struggles so much with laziness / a lack of time management to begin with ( besides just being a common symptom of adhd ) stems from the absence of one - on - one time with the parent who worked a lot , resulting in the lack discipline ; there might not have been someone there to encourage him to stay focused and make sure he stays on top of his studies instead of goofing around when he came home after school .

or , similar to the first reason in that it’s more of a personal choice , consider that denki is a generally well - behaved person . outside of his exclamations and the occasional bad habits ( falling asleep in class ) , he follows the rules / what’s been asked of him and keeps himself in line , almost to a fault . if raised by a single parent , denki might’ve been given a lot of rules to mind when his mom was out , or chores to do to , again , help out around the house and whatnot . his mom was far from strict , but being the only parent puts her in the role of being both the “fun parent” and the “disciplinarian” ; denki may have started slacking off on schoolwork , the thing she was the least on top of in their daily lives , to feel like he had some semblance of control over something from a young age , similar to the entire concept of treat yo self or getting a new piercing / tattoo when things in your life seem like they’re getting too out of hand ( which he also ends up doing as an adult , coincidentally ) .

lastly , on the less fun side of things , denki also exhibits some poor behavior ( being something of a perv , disrespect for personal boundaries , mild sexism ) that could also all stem from not getting in enough of that one - on - one time in the more crucial years of his development to understand why it’s not appropriate . these behaviors are possibly learned from other friends in middle school , who he’d spent a lot of time with in reiterating the fact that he could have had a very open schedule and tons of freetime to fill with friends if his mom wasn’t around much .

( and he’s not beyond saving , of course ; these are just traits of his that i’d rather someone actually teach him about , explaining to him why they’re wrong , rather than just , like , write those traits out completely and let him get away scotch free . )

OVERALL , there’re some other things too that play more off of my personal portrayal of him ---- like a disregard of gender roles , and that kind of thing ---- but that’s kind of a conversation for another day . my main point of this whole thing is that , while denki not be the most transparent candidate for being raised by a single mother , it’s definitely a conclusion that can be drawn upon from all that we know of him thus far ! so i’ll be taking that route and playing his canon out according to all of this from this point on .

the story will remain that his mom is a single woman who still works a ton at the hospital ( the canon one where all the kids are usually admitted to , in fact ! which could bring up some good plot points ) and that denki visits her when he can on days off . they’re still really close , but he may feel the need to keep some updates from her that might worry her , or things that he’s kind of ashamed of , as he’s grown to doubt himself a little more without her being around .

#out .#so yeah. no more dad and no more little sister

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daturanerium · 4 years

Text

i’m finally all caught up with @thepenumbrapodcast ‘s juno steel stories! here are my discordant thoughts on the story and the characters.

(i did this with the magnus archives season one, too! check it out here.)

SPOILERS FOR JUNO STEEL from s1e1 to s3ep2

general plot stuff:

this show. THIS SHOW. is written so well. the characterization is top-notch. the characters are fleshed out and interesting and engaging and they all grow and change and are affected by people and environments and time and events. they’re not static in the slightest.

i haven’t come across a story that deals with depression and suicidal idealization so well. i’m thoroughly impressed with how the writers both portrayed them and how well they have (so far) portrayed the healing process. wowowow.

THE LGBT REPRESENTATION IS OFF THE CHARTS. QUEERS LISTEN TO THIS SHOW. they have a nonbinary politician?? mlm romance and kiss in the first episode???? main character is nb with he/him pronouns??? SO MANY BADASS SAPPHIC SPY/MAFIA COUPLES.....IT TUGS AT MY HEART. the big strong guy is asexual??? i could go on for days but spoilers! just know that genuinely, you will not be disappointed.

this show has two main focuses/themes: trust and the future. it’s been so fantastic to see how juno and the other characters view both themes and how they changed themselves and/or others while encountering those themes in their everyday life.

ramses o’flaherty and the entire plotline that came with him was absolutely top-notch. it blew me away. ramses is a true complicated character, a grey area that makes you question everything you believe in. the storyline tackles politics, morals, and values while keeping it exciting and entertaining. it’s definitely one of my favorite storylines ever.

the writers are truly incredible. i’m really in awe. they inspire me! i wish i had the energy right now to give them the praise essay that they deserve but i’m really tired and i want to get this posted. someday!

the worldbuilding is the perfect balance between two extremes that a lot of scifi authors really struggle with. juno explains how a (sort of) functioning mars city works in a way that feels natural and easy to understand, and the world he describes is both familiar and fascinating. although the environment is different, the audience is all too familiar with corruption and capitalism and classism. they keep the world relatable while giving it some really new and funky details (do i want a cat with six eyes and a stinger? of course! do i want to step outside for more than five hours and get radiation poisoning? that’s up for interpretation). they also chose a great route in making this story take place in the aftermath of (what seems to be) a galactic war instead of taking the traditional Save The World, End The War scifi route. it’s refreshing, and again, relatable (especially to me: i was born after 9/11 and have lived through the entirety of the war in afghanistan so the underlining feeling that hyperion city has that Something is Going To Go Wrong....i feel that).

there is so much more i want to say but this has been sitting in my drafts for weeks and i want to get it posted!

tl;dr: juno steel is really a fantastic work of art. it’s engaging and relatable and teaches valuable lessons about healing, trusting, and moving on in ways i have never seen another piece of media do so successfully. please give it a listen if you have a chance!

some character/character arc thoughts under the cut :)

juno:

god so dumb. just so fucking stupid. i love him.

i’m going to be honest. s1 and the beginning of s2 Juno was really hard for me to listen to. the way he treated others obviously was, to put it lightly, not the best (the monitor incident with rita comes to mind; i really hated that). it almost got repetitive, and since i’m already not a big fan of the depressed-asshole trope i was kind of hanging by a thread by the time ramses came around.

god am i glad i stuck around. his character growth and maturity within the second half of season two and the beginning of season three has been so satisfying! it hasn’t been perfect, but that’s part of the reason why it’s so good--it’s realistic and believable. he’s realized where his faults lie and is making a physical and mental effort to better himself. he’s even doing it verbally, explaining to people he trusts (rita) that he’s trying to be better and then actually acting on it. too often we see the depressed-asshole say the “i’m trying to be better!” line but don’t see any actions following it that signify that effort--that was my fear going into this. but that’s really, truly not the case here, and it’s such a breath of fresh air. plus, in-canon-wise, i’m so happy for juno he’s come so far!

okay nonbinary king i see you

GET THIS LADY A CAT PLEASE.

that moment during the end of s2 when he found that baby rabbit in the sewers.....god.

juno appreciate rita challenge (accepted!)

his voice......is so soothing. except when he yells but he’s better now we’ve established that

i LOVE how as soon as he figures out that he likes you he sticks to you like glue. that’s super funny and cute and also fits him perfectly

miss dahlia rose if you’re out there.....

his complicated relationship with ramses was so fascinating and important. i loved listening to that storyline.

juno: “there’s no way in hell i’m doing this, fuck off” juno, five minutes later: [is doing it]

that’s pretty much the beginning plot of every episode lol ur so valid juno we love u

he’s ability to make the dumbest decisions continues to astound me. he likes to talk about how mick is always getting himself in trouble but god juno you’re really not one to talk

the fact that, in a world that literally runs on tech, he has no idea how a coms works. that’s so fucking funny. if you ignore the backstory that comes behind it.

did juno ever tell alessandra that he made it out of the desert alive or is she just out there in hyperion city somewhere mourning him with her wife?

i already sort of wrote on juno’s backstory but it’s so good. so good.

he’s so fucking soft. he loves so much!!!! and that scares him!!!! but he’s working on it!!!!!

rita:

is she the love of my life or do i just relate heavily to her? who knows

actually no we’re gonna talk about this

rita penumbrapodcast, queen of adhd. queen of oversharing. queen of tangents. queen of love. queen of excitement. queen of caring for her friends more than herself. queen of incredible intelligence shown in an unconventional way. queen of being underappreciated.

s1 and the beginning of s2 really stung me because i’ve been in rita’s positon--used as a punching bag by someone i care deeply about because it’s better me than someone else, because i’m willing to sacrifice my own health and safety for the sake of giving them an outlet. we put it under the guise of “helping”, but we don’t realize until later that it’s really not; we’re just letting them get away with hurting themselves and hurting us. the monitor incident comes to mind again. i actually had to pause and take a step away after hearing juno yell and the glass break--although my abusive friendships thankfully never got violent, that kind of unbridled anger was all too familiar and i was begging out loud for her to leave. she handles it like a champ, and i honestly can’t say whether or not that’s a good or bad thing: good because she knows he doesn’t mean it or bad because she’s used to it? because it’s later revealed that juno’s treated her poorly from the first day they met. i was really worried that their relationship was going to end up being static, “depressed-asshole bullies quirky female sidekick and she never fights back because she loves him” trope. but, thankfully, they’re not!

towards the end of s2 and the beginning of s3 we didn’t just see growth in juno, we saw growth in rita. she confronts juno through a thetabot down in the sewers, calling him out on his self-destructive tendencies and his habit of doing important things without anyone else’s help (in this case, disappearing for weeks without telling her where he was). she points out that maybe the only way for him to appreciate her is for her to do the same thing--disappear for weeks, forcing him to realize just how much he needs her. thankfully, this is after juno’s Big Realization, and he sincerely apologizes for his treatment of her and assures her that he’s trying to be better. (and, side note, but that apology was a good one. a really good one. he verbally acknowledges his many mistakes, including the one rita specifically mentioned, acknowledges that he does not deserve her forgiveness, tells her what he’s trying to do to be better, and then apologizes and asks for her help. that’s good. take notes, people.) later that season, she takes initiative for what seems to be the first time, coming up with a solid, well-thought-out plan, enacting it on her own, and saving both an entire city and her boss. you could probably hear my cheers from wherever you are on earth, because they were there and they were loud! rita saving the day mixed with juno breaking through the mind control with his overwhelming love and appreciation for her.....god. good stuff.

rita buying juno’s office as a surprise for him.......i Will cry

literally she’s just so wonderful i love her so much

every time she talks i’m like [one billion heart emojis mixed with like forty crying emojis]

RITA SPINOFF WHEN. i come from the critical role community so yall know for a fact i’ll back it on kickstarter

once her and juno’s relationship reaches a healthy balance (and they’re already well on their way which i’m so happy about!) they’re going to be so good together. so powerful. the Ultimate cheery vs broody relationship (although juno is less broody at this point and more....gentle asshole. we love growth). they were unstoppable before, but now? god help the galaxy lol

the fact that rita can just casually hack into literally any system in the galaxy is so.......impressive? hot? yeah.

please get this woman a girlfriend and a cat

rita x franny xoxo

RITA BACKSTORY WHEN. PLEASE KEVIN AND SOPHIE PLEASE AS A RITA STAN I AM POLITELY BEGGING YOU.

rita is now in space, which is an interesting development. i just.....”rita in space” is not something i would have ever guessed at a week ago

wait oh my god.

i was sitting here thinking rita has some sort of trust fund/is secretly rich and that’s how she bought juno’s office and kept it afloat, but with the most recent episode’s developments it’s probably equally if not more likely that she either hacked into the nearest bank to give herself the creds needed or hacked the person she was buying it from to make it seem like she had made the payments. i literally adore her whoops

the little rita episodes make me so happy and i hope we get more of them!

tldr: i love her and she deserves the world and more, i’m glad her relationship with juno has changed into something a lot healthier with juno’s Realization mid-season-two, i hope she realizes the hero she already is in season three

peter:

.........oh how the turntables.

peter, season one: juno come with me so we can be together forever and travel the galaxy! i think i love you! juno: aw babe i wish i could but i’m sad and the city needs me :( peter, season three, when handed the opportunity to travel with a healing juno through the galaxy on a silver platter: actually fuck this lol i have One Job and it is to Only Think About My Current Assignment. this is smart and healthy.

this man.....this man right here officer. stole my fucking heart.

i don’t really have an essay for him because we haven’t seen enough of him to really gauge his character development beyond an obsession with debts and his aging. i’m guessing that will change this season though

the debts....what are they

can rita hack in and pay them off

god wouldn’t that be so funny. he spends his entire life trying to pay off these impossible debts and it’s stressing him out to the point where he feels he can’t focus on anything else. and one day he comes to the fam and explains everything and rita’s like “oh shit that’s easy i’ll take care of that right now!!! why didn’t you say something sooner” and hes like “what” and she’s like “yeah!” and he’s like “holy shit” and then he gets married to juno and they live happily ever after the end.

no but real talk

these debts. there’s a lot about them and the way he talks about them that really worries me. i feel like having them be simple money debt would be too easy, so maybe it’s something medical? that would explain both his obsession with his aging and his uncharacteristically excited reaction to the healing mother prime (i think that’s what it was whoops).

he also mentioned someone else before juno, someone that had some pretty strong romantic undertones. maybe they’re sick? but peter doesn’t seem like the type to throw away a relationship like that so quickly, so it doesn’t really match up that he would have someone sick and waiting for him but he’d still go after juno in season one. hmmm.

this one’s a real mystery lads. you think you have something figured out about peter nureyev but it just gives you more questions.

peter is the one mystery juno can’t solve. god, that’s good.

his voice is so good. i don’t remember who his voice actor is but they’re doing a fantastic job thank you!!!!

i actually don’t picture peter like how he’s portrayed in the official art and fanart? i wish i was an artist so i could draw him the way i see him but alas. (i still really like his official design tho!)

listen. you give me a mysterious thief that doesn’t exist and i am Forced to love him. i have a type.

thankfully peter seemed to come around during the most recent episode (s3e2 the man in glass) so i don’t think we’re going to get a repeat of season one. these debts, whatever they are, are definitely going to cause problems. i can’t wait to see what the writers do with this.

(my only fear is that it will end up fitting the “gay character has a sickness parallel to aids and it is incurable” trope. although the writers have so far done a fantastic job of writing queer characters and worlds as well as turning tropes on their heads, so even if it may seem like that’s the case in the beginning, i’ll most likely stick through it to see where they take it. i trust them).

peter i know you’ve never had a family in your life but. im gonna tell you a secret here. found family is cool and good and you’ll like it if you give it a chance.

i love him and as soon as i cut my hair short i’m gonna cosplay him. fashion king

peter nureyev makes me want to fall in love

watching (listening) to juno grow and mature was already fantastic, but to see it through the eyes of someone who respects him, cares for him, and loves him deeply? good lord.

the way peter talks about juno.....yeah.

and peter as an individual....WOW. master thief, yes wow impressive! but his growth is already focusing so much on trust and it’s been written so well. i can’t wait to see how much he continues to grow and learn to trust this season!!!

i would love to see him continue to narrate s3. i think it’s a really strong change of pace and it also puts some extra emphasis on juno’s growth while focusing on peter’s motivations and inner thoughts. i’m genuinely fine either way tho!

tl;dr: i love u emo boy i love u i love u

#the penumbra podcast #penumbra spoilers #juno steel #peter nureyev #rita penumbra #ramses o'flaherty #god i genuinely love this show so much and i can't wait for the new episodes to come out

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ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is · 7 years

Text

“What should I look at when trying to type someone?”

I get this question or variations thereof a lot so I decided I’d put together a non-comprehensive guide.

Including this information doesn’t guarantee you can be typed from it (typing anyone over the internet is difficult and unreliable) but it will help.

Before we start:

Mental illness or cognitive conditions can affect how you behave. There’s no getting around it. I can’t tell you what’s the mental illness (or ADHD, or whatever) and what’s “you”; honestly that’s a pretty deep philosophical debate with answers that vary from person to person. And as always I am not a mental health professional.

Also: I find it is more helpful to type yourself assuming standard cognition and figure out loops or grips as needed rather than assuming you’re looping or gripping. Honestly I don’t even know how you decided you’re looping or gripping without some idea of your type to start.

Behavior over time

That’s the main thing. What behaviors do you have that are consistent and sustained? Those are more likely to indicate your personality than the exceptions; for example, do you always procrastinate? Then the one time you finished a project on time isn’t the example you should be giving me.

Age

If you’re okay with giving an age range that is helpful as it will let me know roughly where you probably are in development. For reference: prior to late teens, your tert and inf are pretty weak. Your tertiary function development really gets underway during your late teens to mid-20s, depending; inferior function development really gets underway in your late 20s and beyond. That doesn’t mean you can’t use those functions before hand, or even use them in a healthy way, but it does mean they probably won’t be the first tool you reach for. If someone is using their inferior in a really mature and thoughtful way and letting it take the lead, they’re probably in their 40s or above. Think of it this way: the 20-30 something IxTPs I know can be very warm and empathetic, but they still have a much more rigid view of personal interaction than a Fe-dom of the same age or an IxTP in their 50s.

Age also helps because a lot of people in their late teens/early 20s are swamped with tertiary function development and lean on it pretty hard but in a somewhat one-dimensional way. So they might relate a lot to descriptions of that function, which can also be rather one-dimensional.

Why you like what you like

Hobbies and likes on their own aren’t helpful but understanding why you like them is. For example: ISTP dad finds running meditative to the point of not using headphones. It also is a way he feels more in control over aging (tert Ni future concerns) and satisfies some Se competition urges. I have an INTJ friend who loves running, because she’s competing against herself (Ni self-improvement/Fi identity) and feels accomplished by doing so (Te). I’m sure there are other reasons coming from other functions for both of them. So: knowing someone likes running doesn’t help, but knowing what they like about running does.

Related: why you do what you do

A lot of lazy descriptions say INxJs overindulge in Se via drinking, overeating, etc. when stressed (Se grip) but it’s important to note that the reason for this is unhealthy Se desiring stimulation with no thought put into what that stimulation is. A lot of people eat or drink when stressed or upset and it could be for emotional numbing (inferior Fe or Fi*) or to forget about feelings of anxiety/despair (inferior Ne or Ni). Or as another example, I know I’ve procrastinated not because of distraction but out of perfectionist tendencies or fear of the unknown. Behaviors are good at eliminating types or narrowing things down but to really figure it out, we need to know the cognitive process that caused the behavior.

How you think

This can be hard to step back and observe in others and also in yourself- there’s a lot of room for confirmation bias here. But if you can consider how you think, that’s useful. Do you think of lots of things as a checklist, even if they’re not set obligations (often a Te thing)? Do you prefer conceptual learning, or hands on (often points to intuition vs. sensing)? And so on.

If you think you’re a certain type and why

I know this might seem like it would bias me one way or another and maybe it will but I find it so much easier to try to prove someone wrong (or right) than come up with an argument from whole cloth.

Why you’re asking about type

I’ve mentioned this before. This doesn’t necessarily help me type you but it might help me answer your question. As always: if someone is a complete asshole to you, your observations are probably not objective, but also genuinely why do you care? Just get them out of your life if you can or limit your time if not. I mean, it’s helpful to understand them a little, especially if you’re stuck with them, but there are a lot of reasons outside of MBTI why they might behave the way they do and focusing on MBTI probably won’t give you as good a picture as understanding where they’re coming from.

Similarly and kind of tying back to the first point, if you’re unhappy, knowing your MBTI type is not a guaranteed way to fix it or provide direction. There have definitely been times when my unhappiness was tied to my type (difficulty adjusting in new situations due to low Ne) but others where it really wasn’t and it was just a situation I didn’t like. Just as the line between mental illness and identity is a complicated one with a lot of interpretations, so is the one between identity and MBTI. The most biased and inaccurate people tend to be those who have banked everything they are on their MBTI type (and other personality systems), and the people I find most knowledgeable and well-adjusted are those who acknowledge that their type is only one piece of the puzzle.

*yes, yes, Fe and Fi aren’t necessarily feeling. But I’ve found that they almost always lead to emotional distress in loop/grip situations through frustration with self and/or others.

#mbti #reference #long post

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julystorms · 7 years

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HEKTOR

send me a character & i’ll tell you the top 3 to 5 concepts i keep in mind while writing them. [meme]

It’s been an age since I wrote this punk but let’s see!

BRASH TRASH LORD. Seriously though, this kid acts without thinking and speaks without thinking. He’s definitely one of those ‘lmao question it later’ kinds of people. Also, sitting around waiting to take action makes him antsy af.

Have you ever tried to smash your emotions with a frying pan? I’m pretty sure he does this every morning as part of his exercise routine. This is where nature vs. nurture gets interesting but I think it’s mostly a nurture thing (his history and position/title considered). Unfortunately for Hector he tends to still act on emotions a lot.

He needs to feel needed. I feel like this is a more personal interpretation of his character and not one I can readily explain to people since it’s been there for years, now, but he comes across to me as the type of person who feels he belongs and is worth something if he can do things for other people/be of use to other people. See also: how upset he is when Farina doesn’t trust him. Despite his blustery personality he likes to be liked and lives to be useful/needed. (That’s not to say he doesn’t find fun in other things but IMO this is a core personality trait.)

Surprisingly attuned to the emotional needs of others. You’d think he was a giant oaf and okay, that’s fair (he is), but while he’s sometimes really clumsy in expressing himself (see his A support with Lyn), other times he’s really, really aware of what people need from him. Here we go back to the above point: he communicates so much better with people who need something from him. Lyn doesn’t need him and she never will, hence his awkward admission that goes over her head (which he ought to have known would happen but didn’t). Meanwhile he learns how to communicate with Pegasus Knight “Trustno1″ Farina and is very gentle and understanding in his supports with Serra. He might be a thoughtless lump of flesh sometimes, but in specific circumstances he goes out of his way to better understand and adjust himself to communicate with people like Serra (whom he finds somewhat annoying) and Farina (the hired help whose opinion shouldn’t matter but does).

Hard worker. I wasn’t gonna add another point on here but I think people mistake Hector’s poor marks in math in the canon as a sign of him being lazy. I always felt that he might have had a learning disability or ADHD (or something) because when it’s something that matters to him he applies himself hard. See also: how he jumps to responsibility when Uther dies. Hector’s young and sometimes kind of dumb about things, but there’s no way he’s lazy.

#meme responses #hector #fire emblem #fire emblem meta #is this even meta????? idk #arthoure

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nyxelestia · 7 years

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1 My interpretation/headcanon on 6x1 if you are interested (sorry for my english). First, they're in the parking lot bc of the boy who said strange things and boy's memory, and we can see Scott is worried what going on as well after he see it. Nothing says they're here bc Stiles asked them to come. Malia and Lydia used their senses and not interested enough to look for more,but Stiles' intuition tells him boy's story is too weird so he stays longer, and he and Scott see smth strange in the end.

2 Next day Stiles is ready to go solve a new mystery and Scott would have gone to an abandoned house with Stiles after school even without him showing a blue glass bc why not, he is curious too, just worried about school. So nothing in this particular case in 6x1 tells me that Stiles is paranoid and his friends are patiently listening to his worries, it's just Stiles' intuition and his enthusiasm, and Scott and Stiles are being normal friends like it always was.

3 Now, about what Lydia said. I'm not sure what she meant by dragging out of bed, maybe Stiles calls her in the morning before school and asks if she's feeling someone's death, but likely Stiles asks her to go at the crime scenes with him since he knows about all accidents (he chooses most suspicious and ignores boring ones). So I think Stiles is not right or wrong these times 3 months simply bc he didn't really thought these were all supernatural threats in the first place,

4he just wants to check IF they are (as if he made it his job) with Lydia's help, like she's "supernatural metal detector".And Lydia agrees bс she can help and she loves solve cases just like Stiles and she likes spend time with him,just 3 months maybe a bit too much bc nothing happens and she seem like doesn't want supernatural anyway(unlike Stiles).And Stiles wants to check it bс his father "can't help if it's supernatural"(Stiles wants to tell him it's not his department right from the start)

5 and he wants to help the police and he likes to solve cases and it not bc he sees threats everywhere,more like he wants to know if threat is spn so they can solve it. And also possible the sheriff asks him to check crime scene/evidence, as we see that he calls Stiles once smth strange happens, and Stiles' reaction to his call "They need us" like he knows what is about. And we know by the end of S5 their relationship has grown and the sheriff welcomed him in law enforcement. Sorry this is long)

Hey, nonnie - no worries! I love long meta. ^_^ Sorry for taking so long to respond, I hope you still see this!

Anyway, in all this discussion about the first episode of Season 6A, I think a lot of people forget what happens in the last episode - Scott and Stiles realizing that this town will always need protecting, even if it's not from them.

This goes all the way back to 3B, when Derek told Scott that Beacon Hills had always had someone around to protect it - that it used to be his mother, but now it was on them. Derek was passing on the metaphorical baseball bat torch to Scott - which in turn he shared with Liam, who had his own pseudo-alpha narrative in 6A. Liam also learned to step up, take initiative, and make/accept sacrifices to become a protector and leader in his own right - which is why Stiles passed on the literal baseball bat to him and Mason.

Lydia accuses Stiles of wanting something supernatural to be happening, because then that's something he can deal with. I don't think it's fair to say that it's that something, that Stiles just wants to be needed by the down and wants it to be a supernatural problem so that he is needed. But she does have a point about him seeing supernatural problems anywhere and everywhere.

Stiles' arc is being fed into by three factors:

1.) Paranoia - he's always been an at least slightly anxious, and always been suspicious of everyone. Seasons 5 and 6 basically turn this up to eleven, largely because of...

2.) Trauma - all these kids have been through hell and back (that was literally the tagline of Season 5B). They are all traumatized, but that trauma manifests in different ways, and in Stiles, that way is paranoia, anxiety, and universal suspicion. This is in large part because of...

3.) Law Enforcement Background - Stiles is a cop's kid, and getting ready to become a cop, himself. It's in Stiles' nature to get his interest piqued by something, and then go careening down that path to learn more. In the early seasons, we saw this parlayed with humor surrounding his ADHD - i.e. writing an essay on the history of circumcision instead of answering his econ test, or his research binges. It's this same process that drives his paranoia in Seasons 5 and 6 - he sees something, and he follows it. But now, instead of seeing an interest and following it by research, he's seeing something suspicious and follows it to look for something wrong.

A lot of fandom has fallen into this dichotomy that either Stiles is always right, or always wrong. The thing is, he is neither of them, and neither is anyone else.

Statistically speaking, it's stated that Stiles is wrong about these more often than he is right - there are several months in between supernatural problems, months during which Stiles is still paranoid, anxious, and suspicious, yet nothing happens. However, we only ever see him, as the audience, when he's right about something.

Let's reverse the argument, though. Statistically speaking, more of the times than not when something doesn't look right, it turns out to not be a supernatural problem. Imagine, though, how ridiculous the argument would be if someone posited that this means Scott is right, always right, and no one should ever be suspicious or anyone or anything because of it?

It's about as stupid as assuming Stiles is always right, so his friends should always be suspicious of everyone and everything, and should be happy about getting dragged out of bed every week to investigate his latest suspicions.

Reality is a bit of both.

Supernatural problems happen often enough, and severely enough, that despite all the times Stiles has been wrong before (several months of being wrong, over a dozen instances of being wrong vs a handful of times being right), they still come check out whatever it is that he's suspicious of. But, they are also right to not pursue his suspicions of they don't see any evidence.

This, by the way, is how policework, well, works. Cops get suspicious of all sorts of things, all the time. But they're only supposed to pursue or investigate it if there is a reason for it. Most issues with police brutality and police abuse of authority trace back to cops crossing this line too far or one too many times, and being suspicious even when there is no need to be (and then acting on that suspicion even when there is no evidence or reason for it).

Stiles knows this, so he investigates, and Scott tries to keep him from going too far or getting too caught up in his paranoia...but also listens to Stiles, and pays attention, and when there is evidence of something weird, he joins Stiles in trying to figure it out. He's the one who first realized that there was something weird about the attacked car and the broken windshield. He's the one who took a piece of glass to an expert (chemistry teacher) to ask what they can tell him about it, to try and gather more information.

And something else to remember is that all of this is coming on the heels of one of the boys' attempts to help ultimately doing more harm than good (re: the guy trying to steal all those helium tanks). They have very good reason to want to be careful about how much they "do" - but despite this, they still investigate what might very well be a supernatural problem.

After all, this town needs protection - and it always will, whether it's them, their next generation of werewolves, or someone else altogether.

This is how police work, too - they're around to protect a town, even when it's not in danger.

tl;dr - Stiles has been both right and wrong before. He's right to investigate things that cause him suspicion, but his friends are also right in not wanting to go further unless there is evidence for it. It's a system, and it was working.

#stiles stilinski #scott mccall #teen wolf meta #teen wolf #nyxie answers #Anonymous

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bootisimo · 7 years

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ok so i dont care if im spamming my personal shit bc this is fucking tumblr & i need to just talk abt things

so im going to talk abt my best friend audrey. i havent had a best friend since around 7th grade (I’m a graduating senior this year) & my overall friend group has been really unstable & changes a lot, so I didn’t realize it at the time, but I haven’t made any deep connections in high school and it’s kinda sucked. Pair that up with me being super insecure because everybody talked about me behind my back in middle school and literally nobody outside of my group of 5 friends could stand to be near me (which I only learned around 2 months ago & it’s fucked me up so much, especiallyl because i was so oblivious & for all i know the same thing could still be happening), so I’ve felt very isolated and alone without realizing it for basically all of my scary developmental years. & then this new girl comes to school, and I meet her a the beginning of senior year! & she’s so wonderful and we click so well and after knowing each other for barely any time i felt so close to her and I was essentially drunk off of finally being close to someone again and she was all i ever thought abt bc i loved spending time with her so much! ((that sounds weird and obsessive but i promise im exaggerating i just kinda accidentally started idolizing her and absorbing her mannerisms bc thats what i always do)) & following my stupid fucked up pattern for people im clsoe to, i was all over her for a few months then i started doing that isolating thing and i convinced myself that her & the rest of my friends barely tolerate me (it didn’t help that this is senior year & shit actually did happen w two of my other close friends so my friend group is shrinking rapidlyl and i dont want to put effort into roping it back together), so I became really unhappy without realizing it bc i repress everything and i literally have so much trouble processing and actually feeling what’s going on around me . thats where my problems with derealization come from, because it crosses the line into literally not being able to say if im awake or in a dream, or if i exist or not, so how the fuck would i be able to know if i was happy or unhappy? im realizing tonight that ive been actually, truly depressed for an indeterminant amount of time, and that really scares me with the whole bipolar issue bc ive figured out that i cant live life without control. i need independence and control over my entire sense of self or i can’t cope, and its super unhealthy but its the only way i know how. and if im bipolar like im starting to believe i might be and like my therapist thinks is a definite possibility, then kind of by definition that means that i don’t have control, over my actions or my moods or my life, especially if it’s bad enought that i need medication. and judging by just how bad things have been recently, right when i start being able to feel my emotions without automatically shutting them down (so I’m feeling them to the full extent that i shielded myself from, in other words), i don’t think i can succeed, or even survive, on my own if this is what my daily life becomes. I’m losing my control right before I’m really going to need it, right before i turn 18 and go to college and actually need to take care of myself, and I’m so anxious about it that I constantly feel like I’m going to vomit, and like there’s a dumbbell sitting both on my chest and at the bottom of my stomach. when I repressed everything, i was always relaxed. i literally could not make myself stress or feel bad about anything, which is super unhealthy, but now it’s like i can’t make myself not be stressed, and i can’t reverse it!! I’ll try to feel like I used to because not feeling is so so so much easier than feeling, but it’s like I’ve forgotten how!!

anyway part of the reason my relationship with audrey is so good and so bad is bc it’s super hard for me to actually talk to her, because I always struggle with guilt because of how easy my life is compared to my friends. feeling like i have things better than anyone makes me feel so guilty that i want to die, which is probably a part of the depressive episodes, so I’ll go through periods where I’ll talked to audrey but i literally wont’ say anything to her bc i feel so guilty about how much she has to deal with, and then it’s like we aren’t even friends anymore and its 100% my fault because I consciously pull away and just think about dying for a week or two and convince myself that i dont need or deserve any friends or anyone to talk about the issues im having with. when i actually do share things with audrey, i lover her even more, because she never makes me feel guilty for having things she doesnt, and she always reminds me to that im trying to be conscious of the differences in our lives, and she always makes me feel so good about myself because that’s the kind of person she is. she’s been through so much more than most people, and I don’t even know a lot of the details about her life. its amazing though not just because she went through it--it always pisses me off as a trans person when people tell me i’m “brave” just for living and transitioning, and i know she would feel the same if i thought she was amazing just bc she’s survived so much. but she’s amazing for how she deals with it, mostly. you can tell she has a lot of problems coping but she still always makes an effort to make people feel included, and to better herself, and to be fucking kind. I’m always so amazed by how kind she is and how little she deserves all the shit that life throws at her, and I dont say that to her bc it’s always uncomfortable when people tell you that, but I’m really starstruck by her. i very often just start thinking about what a genuinely caring, selfless person she is--not like me, who does everything because of the reaction that I anticipate from other people. when she’s kind, you can just tell that it’s because she wants to be kind and doesnt care about the consequences. she is a good person far deeper down than I am and its amazing to see that at work. I’ve actually been standing up for my beliefs and saying something when I think someone’s in the wrong just because I’ve been around her and I’ve seen her do that

but the worst thing is that we met so close to the end of graduation. we just found out we’re all staying in the area next year but with my habit of suddenly dropping people for no reason, I can’t guarantee we’ll stay close, and that makes me so so sad because I genuinely think the more time I spend with audrey, the better a person I become. it’s hard to balance because I also make all my bad decisions with audrey because we fuel each other because w’ere so similar, so that makes it hard to. (haha we’re both geminis after all, and i dont believe in astrology but the idea that two geminis always have short, intense bursts of relationships, so they’re hard to make last, seems super accurate for us, and I’m afraid that tha’ts whats going to happen)

anyway I’m just typing a lot because dear audrey gave me an adderall to take so i could last the night & not die, and it’s more than I normally take, so my focus on this post is so intense, and adderall makes you rambly anyway. it’s good to take a lot every once and a while though because just thinking things through in this focused, controlled but optimistic and basically unbiased outlook that adderall gives you can be super helpful--typing this out has actually been pretty similar to my therapy sessions, except nobody has to ask me questions and prod at what I say to interpret my thoughts. damn i hope i can get a prescription because i feel like this is exactly how people who can actually ge their work done and not drift off constantly feel like, and I feel like now that I know how adderall feels and how homework is actually feasible when I take even a small dose, like half of a 30mg pill, I can’t expect myself to keep fumbling through my academic life once it costs 20k per year, and when I’m not on adderall, I’m always, always fumbling and confused, no matter what I’m doing. I feel like I’m just realizing how much I need it, and the people around me aren’t as surprised because they’ve always seen it, because it’s literally always been there, but they just assumed I was disorganized and spacey, and when I say “I think I have ADHD,” theyre’re jsut like “oh, I never thought of that but now that you’ve said it I absolutely believe that, I can’t believe I didn’t see it before.” It’s inhibited me enough in my life, especially in school, that in my freshman year all of my teachers called my parents in and told them to test me & my sister for ADHD, and the only reason it never happened is because there was a miscommunication and my mom thought the school had screend us for free, when me & emma have never ever seen a doctor about it

things are jsut bad rn bc it’s like i stand on both edges of a really small planet. on one side is the adhd stuff, and the realization that if I get treatment, life could be a lot more possible for me than I ever knew it was possible to me. on the other side is the emotions that I’m not able to repress anymore (maybe it’s the bipolar vs the adhd, maybe not--again, not diagnosed, and definitely not self diagnosing). these emotins that I’m actually starting to be able to process are a lot worse than I ever realized they were, and it’s promising the opposite of the adhd side--that things could get much worse than I ever knew they could get, and that they’re already headed that way.

sorry for making you all scroll past this thing, but it’s been really helpfulto be able to sort my thoughts out like this. I definitely feel like i just prepared myself to make progress in my therapy session on friday, at the very least. maybe things can actually be ok after all

#personal #really fucking personal #also very voluminous personal jfc #i just spent 40min typing this instead of doing math homework #nice

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johannacantsing · 5 years

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“as with all of his books, this is also outrageously fun and completely hilarious- i would expect nothing less”

a review of the hammer of thor by uncle rick (rick riordan)

It annoyed me that Magnus kept thinking of Loki as the god of evil, since that interpretation is going to lead to the wrong conclusions because evilness is not and never was Loki's motivation. I'm nervous that's going to come back to him.

I really admire Riordan's absolute commitment to representing people who he knows and does not see represented in other books, starting of course with his son having ADHD and dyslexia and making Percy as someone he can look to and see himself. I love that he understands the necessity and is continually working to make a positive change for children, starting with often overlooked mental illnesses to very marginalized groups.

Riordan makes a point to have Alex mention (twice I believe) that she doesn't- and cannot- speak on behalf of every genderfluid person, which I think is really important in both humanizing Alex as a character, as well as representing a genderfluid person with respect, integrity, and compassion. I love how he dealt with Alex as a character! From the beginning, her hallmates understood that she was genderfluid because of the clothes in the closet and didn't judge her for that- just being the child of Loki, but she proved herself so they didn't care about that one either. When she said she was a girl, everyone respected that; when he said he was a boy, everyone respected that as well. Riordan made sure to have her rebuke ignorance and prejudice quickly, with self-respect and self-love, which is so important for younger readers (since this is a middle grade book). When she corrects Thor, he clearly doesn't really get it but Magnus says that at least he was trying and had learned a little bit more. Riordan also makes a point to show the struggles particular to non cisgender individuals, such as Alex, when Magnus recognized her from a shelter. Alex has such a huge personality, while still being completely different from the other characters, such as Sam who shares Loki as a parent, and I think she's a very important character for young readers who may see themselves in him or her.

I absolutely love how Riordan worked with Sam. Having a strictly Muslim character is bold, and we can tell that he really put a lot of integrity into representing her correctly. All the characters absolutely respect her faith, e.g. how she needs a chaperone when she's out with Amir, her daily prayers, her hijab, etc. He tackles the question of religion in ways he hasn't before this series about how someone who truly believes in their faith would understand the world after being pulled into the world of Old Gods and modern demigods, as well as when Amir's eyes are opened. I love how passionate she is and how human, especially in a time very much in want of compassionate and loving views of a Muslim character for children. Samira is strong, smart, loyal, driven, and extremely honorable- Riordan was very careful in making her and it's exquisite. I also liked how Riordan portrayed Sam's relationship to Loki. She really pushes back against his power, and by allowing her a way to grow to accept those parts of herself from him as herself, through Alex, seems like it will be really healing for her.

Obviously I love Magnus. I love how, while both very sassy, he's different from Percy because Magnus is so gentle. I love that Riordan wrote a main character as a boy who is gentle and kind and compassionate, who loves his friends and they love him because of those qualities that are rarely given to boys in any media, especially main characters. At the end of the book, Alex even says to Magnus that he isn't a fighter. Again- I think that this is incredibly important for young readers, for the boys who don't want to fight and never can see boys like them in anything. Riordan really cares about his readers and making a place for them to be represented. I also really like how Riordan continually reminds the reader that Magnus was homeless and living on the streets specifically by having him remember his experiences- usually in an almost throwaway style- and followed either by Magnus showing empathy and compassion because that was actually his life or by having some comic relief because frankly homelessness is a really big issue, especially if you're a young reader. I love how Riordan portrays homelessness; this isn't a story about the terrifying, titillating details of homelessness. Riordan isn't trying to claim someone else's story and write that. It's a part of Magnus without being the entire story. And Riordan uses this part of Magnus' history to show young readers that homeless people are still people who deserve respect, compassion, and maybe a delicious pastry like Magnus gave the guys he saw. By making not only the main character, but also Blitz and Hearth (who are arguably Magnus' family), Riordan shows a version of the complexity of homelessness in a way that young readers can understand. His inclusion of Alex and Magnus' immediate acknowledgement of how hard life is on genderqueer kids and teens, as well as gently showing the challenges that they face, really forces the reader into a place of empathy or complete isolation from the main character since Magnus is so strongly empathetic towards homeless people and especially understands how difficult life can be for people like Alex; allowing young readers to feel this empathy, as well as showing them that there are significant obstacles for marginalized people in a way that is respectful and not too harsh for children is completely masterful.

Blitz's repeated ability to save the day (or at least help to) by creating fashion and therefore being true to himself is so important, especially since he's a male role model for Magnus. Riordan shows that value comes from being oneself and that men (and the young boys reading this!) should follow their passions because those endeavours are going to be much more productive than if one tries to do what they think society thinks they should do, e.g. Blitz making functional fashion vs Blitz trying to make weapons in a more traditional dwarven sense. Also showing Blitz (and Hearth) having handicaps that have to be worked with but in no way at all diminish either their extreme value or Magnus' love is so important for young readers. Magnus saves Blitz by turning him to stone, which normally would be very bad but this time his weakness was the thing that saved him.

Hearth goes through so much in this book. We learned in the last book that Hearth had to leave his house because his father was abusive because he was deaf, which disgusted Magnus, therefore showing young readers that being deaf or having other disabilities that good people will treat other with respect and love you no differently just because you have a disability. We saw how traumatic it was for Hearth to go back and how important it is to get out of abusive situations. I really liked how Sif told Hearth that he needed to reclaim his brother's rune, eventually because that would signify his healing, which he obviously really needs.

#book review #mine

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