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upheavalofmemory · 1 year

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pick a pile || future spouse/lover letter!

I am someone personally who tends to find comfort in these types of readings, so I hope someone here can find the same comfort.

Keep in mind that I am still a beginner, not even quite sure if I have abilities, so I will say that this is mostly for entertainment only, but if it resonates with you, it resonates.

I will be using tarot as a guide and leave the rest for whatever is told to me. Keep in mind I won't be editing the written portions, just the portions that I write myself from my intuition and the cards, everything else is raw and unedited.

pick a pile! webkinz dog inspired <3

masterlist

Pile 1

Wow, they have a lot to say I think.

"Hello, dear (a faint chuckling in the background),

my sweetheart, my beloved. My beloved, I can see you, you are not too far away. Do you miss me? I hope you do, I miss you, I miss you the most. How are you? fine? I'm glad of it. You are stronger than you think, you know, that is why i love and adore you. five years ago, I never thought I would meet someone like you, and here we are today. finally you are here, with me, in my arms, something i never expected to be saying. finally finally finally. there's something about you- there's so much about you that i adore. i cant approach you yet. look at you in your elegance, absolutely a marvel and me? i am just a peasant boy, waking and quaking in your presence. will you do me a favor? don't let someone else sweep you off your feet just yet, i promise that when i get my confidence up and my ducks in a row, marbles in a bunch. it will be soon! I promise. i promise i promise i promise, for your sake and mine we need to meet soon! maybe i hope so, I'm not sure.

anyways i do love you, see you soon.

yours forever. "

I believe that this is from their future self. They are fiery and loving and they love you so much. They may be very nervous in your presence but they want you to know that YOU and only you cause that nervousness, it's like they are a shipwreck when they are around you. You give them anxiety and butterflies! They give off very anxious energy, they just want to keep repeating how much they love you. They'll shake your whole body and shout it from the rooftops and the tops of mountains, only you do this to them. They love you they love you they love you, they really do. I have a feeling that they don't express this verbally but they think it so much and they don't want you to doubt their appreciation.

pile 2

I had to do pile 3 before this one.

"Hi baby <3

My adoration, a mirage of all things beautiful and concrete. Except you're real of course! My beloved baby, how are you? Dazzling, as always. A fortress that cannot be torn down, stopped, or blocked, an absolute unit! (laughter here) I love you, you know? You're funny as hell and I'm glad to be with you. My every wish was granted, would you look at that? I guess the universe really is some unstoppable force, except when it comes to you, it bends for you I guess, like you've got some magic powers? But nothing will stop how I feel for you. You are mine. Alllll mine (hearing Stingy saying "mine mine mine"). Sorry I'm clingy, you know I am though and sometimes you tell me that I need to let go a little bit, which is okay, I can give you a little space sometimes, but I'm still stuck to you like a leech, head over heels! My final resting place will be just in your arms, perfect just how I wanted. God, this is like a school essay. Sorry, this is supposed to be romantic, but maybe it can be funny too? I don't know, sorry, I'm being stupid & silly with you but I think you don't care so it doesn't matter anyway. We are so different but we are so good together yk? Two peas of a pod...except maybe we are two different peas, maybe I'm spike-y, lol! Or no, you're probably the spike-y one, okay I'll stop. But my lovely, I'm glad to talk to you. You're such a good friend to me, how do you put up with me? I'll never know, I can barely put up with myself. Have you ever heard that humans think they're ugly because they get used to themselves and their faces? Maybe that is me, maybe I'm just insecure and you see something magical in me, just like I see it in you. Maybe you feel the same way about yourself and you don't tell me, which makes me sad, but you know you can tell me and I wont push it. I love you ok? stay hydrated and things, do the work, have fun, live your life, whatever bye.

okay i'll give you a proper goodbye, a hug and a kiss on the cheek, a proper smooch maybe? no? okay fine. bye my love, see you in the afterlife... JK!!!! I'm not dead hehe>>, okay sorry bye. nonon wait, okay never mind yeah I'm done now, bye." *phone click*

They have a hard time saying goodbye to you, they never want to stop talking to you. I remember another reading on here (sorry I cannot remember which one or who) describing someone as a "down bad loverboy/girl" and that's what I'm getting for you (if someone knows which reading I'm talking about, please send it to me so I can link it here !!). they are cute. you guys might be long distance in the beginning, which is why i got the phone click. but whatever it is, they love uuuuuuu ok? "to the moon and back."

pile 3

"Hello. (I hear a very deep masculine voice here, very prominent) If I've ever seen such a beautiful soul, no soul could be no more beautiful than yours. No sun could shine brighter than the way your eyes light up, nothing can take that away from me- that appreciation I have for you and your beauty. You radiate, you know? I love that. You radiate like the sun, shining brightly and me being the humble man I am, simply adoring you from below. They say that if you look into the sun, you will go blind, but I would gladly go blind for you my love, because you are blinding and I would rather have you seared into the back of my eyeballs and in my mind as the last thing I've ever seen than to never see you again. Everything is for you, always for you, just for you. Why did you go so soon? We barely had begun our journey and you were off again on your great quest for such knowledge I can never give you. I wish I could give you everything but I cannot, only you can do that for yourself and I will let you- I mean, I don't control you. You're free to do whatever you want, I support you, I just miss you..a lot. more than I admit it. Come home safely, bring me a souvenir? The pretty kind, the beautiful kind, but none will be as beautiful as you are; they're only beautiful because they've been touched by the hands of the angel on earth.

hands I am glad to hold one day, hands I will gladly hold forever.

yours,

fs."

Once again, I got very masculine energy from the beginning. They may be very masculine, I'm seeing mostly a male here. It can be the other way around, or really any gender, but that's what I'm seeing here. They're very....formal? Cut edge, straight to the point. They're good with words, they like using them (I just heard "In more ways than one" :I, that was meant to be sexual but I don't do 18+ readings so they can shut it, haha!). They like you a lot, they think you're amazing and personally lovable (lovable just for them and only them, perfect match, a match made in heaven). They encourage your adventures and your thirst for knowledge, the need to explore, although they may not be able to come with you. They root for you on the sidelines though and may provide financial assistance for you to accomplish your dreams. I'm getting older businessman vibes from this, specifically getting a white older 'gentleman' with brown hair and a very thick beard? that might be someone's person, their name might be Micheal with their last name beginning with an R, very specific.

pile 4

TRIGGER WARNING; d3ath, self-loathing, overall a very depressing & heavy energy.

If you aren't comfortable with these things, here is a quick overview minus the heavier topics.

Your future spouse is going through a lot right now. They may be in a depressed and detached state, they might be a player but it isn't something they enjoy. They need time, they don't believe you exist at this moment. Their energy is very sad and dark, although if they don't change, someone else will take their place as your future lover. The lessons they need to learn are important and you should also take your own lessons seriously.

"introducing... you, my beloved lover!

one of three, hehe. or maybe not, maybe you are the one. i don't know why you would think i am the one, did i make you think that? I'm not that good of a person, you know? people toss me to the side and use me like a puppet, toy on a string. i want you so badly...no, i just want someone. have you ever seen those cute movies with cute couples doing cute things? i would love that to be me and someone, someone out there maybe. but maybe I'm not meant for that, I'm not sure. maybe I'm meant to be a plaything and a lesson and eventually end up in a dumpster somewhere (wow wtf?), not from dying though, just being trash i guess. i'd rather not die. i mean, i don't know anymore. if you're real, can you come get me? pick me up? carry me away, safe in your arms? but there's no guarantees though, I'll probably kick and thrash and be toxic and make you feel lonely for a while and I'm sorry. but i promise I'll be yours one day, let me just get it out of my system. or maybe you don't care? i don't know. I'm tired of people pretending to care, if you don't actually care, maybe it's your actual emotions about me. maybe I'm projecting, I'm sorry. i love you. but this is empty. empty love, no cup to pour from. maybe there's someone else for you out there, maybe i need to find myself first.

-someone new."

oh, this got sad and dark :(? sensing that this is current energy, they're in a bad place. sorry for the sad reading pile 4,if you were expecting something happier & lighter-hearted. i hope you can love your fs in the future for all of the shit they have to go through. they'll be better when they get to you, the universe will make sure of it and if they aren't then someone new will come and take their place for them, they're willing to let the spot go because they know you deserve the best.

they do want you to know that lessons are important.

#pick a card #tarot reading #oracle reading #pac #pac tarot #pick a picture #pac reading #tarot pac #pick a pile reading #love tarot free #love reading #fs reading #future spouse tarot #future spouse pac #future spouse pick a card #upheavalofmemory #uomTAROT

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takeme-totheworld · 5 months

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Aziraphale and Forgiveness, Pt. 4: Do Unto Others

This is the last part of this series of posts! Thank you all for coming on this ride with me.

Part 1 here. Part 2 here. Part 3 here.

If you’re just tuning in: everything I write in these is me pulling from a combination of stuff in the show and my own past with the evangelical church/some of its particularly toxic ways, to talk about why I think Aziraphale is the way he is.

Now that I’ve written many many words about what I think Aziraphale’s general damage is around forgiveness, I’m going to look at some more specific examples of his behavior and attempt to answer the question, "What is going through his mind when he does that?"

In Aziraphale’s world, God (speaking through Heaven/the Metatron) holds all the cards. She casts angels and humans alike down into Hell for eternity for various transgressions, and forgiveness is the only way out. How any part of this system works is totally unclear to everyone but God. Despite all of this, Aziraphale is strongly attached to the idea of God and Heaven being The Good Guys and himself as someone who is on the side of good.

So, what does he do?

He seldom admits wrongdoing and never asks to be forgiven.

This may seem like a weird place to start, but stick with me for a minute: Aziraphale behaves like someone who does not trust that his own mistakes will be forgiven. Which makes total sense. Not everyone's sins get forgiven, and the consequences of that are horrific. Given that, how could he possibly feel safe enough to own up to any wrongdoing, ever? So he lies to God about giving the flaming sword away, and he lies to the archangels constantly to cover his ass whenever he messes up. (This part is not just Aziraphale, by the way. Look at the constant lying and backbiting among the archangels.)

In situations not directly involving Heaven, his response to seeing his own screw-ups is generally to rush to fix them. The Edinburgh minisode provides the best examples of this, I think: he fucks up a lot in this episode but he is eager to try to rectify his mistakes as soon as he becomes aware of them. He has his view changed on bodysnatching, and he immediately goes to Elspeth and offers to help her dig up a new body. He realizes his culpability in Wee Morag getting shot, and in the next breath declares his intention to go against Heaven's rules to heal her. He wants to fix his mistakes. But what he doesn't do at any point in the minisode is apologize to the people he's harmed or ask for their forgiveness. And when Wee Morag dies before he can save her, he basically freezes up until Crowley pulls the laudanum stunt. He's screwed something up that he can't fix, and he doesn’t know what to do with that.

Rationally, this makes no sense. Elspeth does not have the power to cast him into hell, she only has the power to be angry at him. But emotionally it makes all the sense in the world. Asking for forgiveness is a vulnerable position. The other party is under no obligation to grant it. That's normal and healthy and as it should be in the real world, but when your baseline concept of forgiveness is as a divine pardon that saves you from being cast out forever, the terror of having it withheld is bound to bleed over into other situations whether it’s rational or not.

He extends unasked-for forgiveness to others, often to his own detriment, theirs, or both.

He forgives Crowley for calling him stupid in season one. He forgives Maggie her rent at the beginning of season two. He forgives Crowley for…calling him an idiot? for the argument in general? (that question is a whole post on its own, obviously) in the final fifteen. In none of these instances did the other person ask to be forgiven. It’s easy to see a lot of this as rather condescending at best. But to Aziraphale, withholding forgiveness has implications far more dire than simply harboring a grudge. I see these unasked for statements of forgiveness more like a promise—I am not going to hold this against you. “This” could be money he is owed or harsh words or anything, really, because it’s not about the specifics. And it’s also not about his personal feelings, which is why he can still muster up the words even when he’s visibly radiating anger and hurt. Forgiveness means freedom from punishment, and he’s saying whatever may have happened between us, I’m not going to punish you for it. (Obviously this is not at all how it lands with Crowley, but that’s a different topic altogether.)

This also extends into his actions, which consistently show willingness to extend grace even to those who have seriously harmed him, or committed other deeply immoral acts. Aziraphale’s tendency to quickly soften when someone appears to show a kinder or more vulnerable side has a lot of possible interpretations, but here’s mine: I think he is deeply committed, for better and for worse (and we see plenty of both!) to the idea that people should always be extended forgiveness and an opportunity to change and redeem themselves. He can’t help it. The association of forgiveness with safety and freedom from punishment is so embedded in his psyche that withholding forgiveness feels unreasonably cruel.

He doesn’t actually have the power to send anyone to hell, of course, but again, this behavior is emotional, not rational. He takes in Jimbriel and protects him despite the clear danger to both himself and Crowley. He willingly paves the way for Gabriel and Beelzebub to go off and be happy together. He’s well aware of their previous harms, but his rigid personal code around this will not let him deny someone else the possibility of positive change and redemption, because he would never want to be denied that same possibility for himself. Or to put it another way, he's doing unto others as he would want them to do unto him.

Almost-definitely-controversial opinion time: I think this exact same compulsion is at work in Aziraphale when the Metatron shows up. The job was not the draw here, Aziraphale doesn’t even want it. But the Metatron shows up and does two extremely significant things: he saves Aziraphale from punishment by telling off the other archangels and sending them away, and he offers to release Crowley from his punishment of being fallen. (I’ll come back to this in a second, I promise.) Aziraphale has so many extremely good reasons not to trust the Metatron, but the Metatron knew exactly what emotional buttons to push around punishment and forgiveness to get him thinking, "Maybe he's better than I thought. Maybe he's changed. Maybe I should give him another chance."

What were the very first words he said to Crowley when he was trying to explain the offer? "I don't think he's as bad a fellow—well, I think I might have misjudged him." His forgiveness compulsion has kicked in, hard, and suddenly he's extending grace to someone who does not deserve it at all, to everyone's extreme misfortune.

He wishes (prays?) for God to forgive Crowley.

"May you be forgiven" at the bandstand and "Then God forgive you" during the Job minisode fall under this category. He's not expressing his own forgiveness at these moments, he's wishing for God's forgiveness for Crowley.

Falling is a punishment for angels. I talked about that in part 2, but I just want to reiterate it here. However any particular demon may eventually come to feel about their demon status, it starts out as a punishment and it inflicts a lot of suffering. Fallen angels don't choose to leave Heaven, they are forcibly kicked out. It's physically painful. They are banished to Hell, a place that is ostensibly a place of punishment for humans but is obviously pretty miserable for demons, too. And reading between the lines of a number of things said in the show, it's pretty clear that the punishment of falling is understood to be permanent.

So, from Aziraphale's point of view, his best friend, the being he loves more than anything, is serving an eternal punishment with no possibility of release. I think he knows deep down that being cast out forever to a place of constant suffering is an obscenely disproportionate punishment to any offense Crowley might have committed. He clearly knows that Crowley is a good person inside. He knows that God's ineffable plan sometimes includes forgiveness, at least for the souls of some humans. And I think he's been hoping against hope for a long time that God will one day forgive Crowley.

For people who have a totally different emotional context around forgiveness, the immediate (and understandable) reaction is no doubt to bristle at this. Forgive him for what? What did he even do? Even if he did actually do something, falling is an outrageously cruel punishment. Heaven should be the ones begging for Crowley's forgiveness for doing this to him.

And all of that is absolutely true. But it's not the context Aziraphale is operating from. When he hopes God will forgive Crowley, what he's hoping for is that Crowley will finally be released from punishment. So when Crowley says something that he finds morally abhorrent ("I long to destroy the blameless children of blameless Job") or something that stirs up his anxiety that God is watching and taking offense ("great pustulent mangled bollocks to the great blasted plan!"), he counters by once again wishing for forgiveness for Crowley. It's his way of expressing some confused and anxious combination of "I know you're better than this" and "I don't want to see even more punishment heaped on you" and "I want you to be free of this life sentence one day." It comes from a place of wanting to help and protect, however misguided.

Which sums up a lot about Aziraphale's attitude around this, really. Most of Aziraphale's ideas about forgiveness, and the actions that stem from them, come from a combination of longstanding fear and trauma, plus a severely distorted worldview that he's been indoctrinated into his whole life. There's a lot he doesn't understand, and there are definitely some areas of his life where he needs to learn better and make amends. But I think there's also a big case of different exactlys going on, when it comes to what Aziraphale actually means when he says certain things about forgiveness, and what Crowley (and much of the fandom) thinks he means.

These are all just my thoughts, as someone who spent the first twenty-ish years of my life being personally victimized by certain toxic and fucked up views of Christian forgiveness, and who sees a lot of my younger self in Aziraphale's words and actions around this topic. If you've read all this (1) you deserve a gold star, and (2) I would love to hear your thoughts as well!

#good omens #good omens meta #good omens 2 spoilers #character analysis #religious indoctrination #aziraphale #religious trauma #forgiveness #i forgive you

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raven-at-the-writing-desk · 11 months

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I just read through the Wish Upon A Star event for the first time and it's a nice heartfelt story! But hoo BOY do some things about this event feel unexpectedly heavier now with the context of Book 6 and what's currently out for Book 7, particularly with the Diasomnia boys ...

Wish Upon a Star was really nice for the Shroud brothers' story in hindsight! I wouldn't say the event has anything "essential" (you can still understand book 6 without seeing any of Wish Upon a Star), but it definitely adds extra context (like sprinkles on top of an ice-cream sundae!) and some vague foreshadowing to the upcoming main story happenings. (It helped a lot that both brothers were featured cards for this event; they could share the spotlight!) We learn some new information that is fundamentally rooted in what we already know of the Shroud brothers (ie Idia is into video games, Ortho is supportive of his brother) and how it all plays together in a grander narrative. Star Rogue was actually first introduced in this event as something important to Idia and Ortho's childhoods, which later becomes a recurring motif in book 6. The book even closes on Idia playing it with all of his new NRC friends (?). The legend of the Starsending itself, of course, refers to the story of Pinocchio, where a puppet turned into a real boy--a theme which eventually carries over to Ortho, the robot that gains humanity. Additionally, we get a more in-depth exploration of Ortho and Idia's relationship in Wish Upon a Star. We see that Ortho, despite being a robot who would easily be able to look up anything he doesn't understand, still has a child-like wonder about wishes coming true and even dedicates his own wish to hoping that his older brother's wish comes true. It's Idia who expresses a deep cynicism for the Starsending and acts like a buzzkill (pointing out that the stars most likely react to people's body temperature rather than light up in response to being whispered a wish). This reflects their behavior in book 6 too: Idia is the one who has given up hope, and Ortho is the one who seeks to help his brother's dreams come true.

I guess something similar applies for the Diasomnia boys? 🤔 Although to be fair, this event came out in summer of 2020 (when the game itself first launched in March 2020), so we didn't know a ton about the Diasomnia boys back then. A lot of what they said for their wishes would have easily been dismissed as just normal characterization, but it definitely comes off as more ominous knowing what we now know of book 7:

Sebek’s wish: “I wish for the whole world to kneel before our king.” WELL. You definitely got that wish granted, Sebek 😭 cuz all of Twisted Wonderland is about to kneel over in a deep sleep once Malleus’s UM spreads far enough… Sebek is pretty much always going on about how powerful Malleus is, but in book 7 it’s not so fun having to deal with that magic now turned against us and set on consuming the world.

Silver’s wish: “I wish… for my father to have a long life.” When we first heard of this, the assumption was that Lilia would outlive Silver?? Especially with how spry Lilia is portrayed to be… BUT THEN IT TURNS OUT 700 YEAR OLD LILIA’S MAGIC IS ON THE DECLINE AND HE WANTS TO GO DIE ALONE IN A FOREIGN LAND 😩 Silver also mentions during his wish segment that he owes a lot to his father and isn’t close to repaying him for everything he has done. This is a sentiment Silver shares again in book 7… in which he then proceeds to break down and cry in front of Malleus about those insecurities 😭

Lilia’s wish: “My wish is… for humans, fae, and all other species to live in harmony.” This one hits super different because right now we’re witnessing Lilia’s past self as a general actively fighting against humans and being suspicious of them. His present self is much more peace and harmony loving, even instilling in Silver a respect for all creatures and lecturing Malleus and Sebek for their sometimes ignorant behavior towards other races. He acknowledges the challenges that come with bringing together those from all walks of life, but he’s also the first to preach about how the importance of it. People may be weak alone, but they can come together like the threads on a spindle to become something stronger together. This is a testament to how much Lilia’s feelings and him as an individual have evolved over time. What’s even sadder is that when you read Lilia’s words, it definitely sounds like he’s reflecting on his unsavory past, and wishing for a better world for the future: “You've learned about […] all the countless tales of our failure to compromise, and the resulting conflicts? I have no desire to see such history repeated.” So he makes the same wish every year…

Malleus’s wish: “I wish for Roaring Drago (Gao-Gao Dragon-kun) to make a friend.” Gao-Gao makes his first appearance in Malleus’s Labwear vignettes, but becomes a more integral part of Malleus’s story in other materials, then culminates as a motif in book 7. The importance of this virtual pet cannot be understated in regards to its connection with Malleus’s understanding of human lives and change. Prior to book 7, we see Gao-Gao as something “like Malleus”—it’s alone, a dragon hatched from an egg. (One can say that wishing for Gao-Gao to have friends is a metaphor for how Malleus himself wants friends.) During book 7, the perception of Gao-Gao changes; now it is likened to Malleus’s loved ones. He fears them leaving, just like Gao-Gao does when he’s all grown up—and so Malleus justifies his extreme actions with the excuse of, “I want them to live a happy fantasy forever and ever, just as though Gao-Gao were with me for all of time”. It’s how Malleus rationalizes his actions and comes to understand others. What makes Gao-Gao and even more prominent symbol in book 7 is its ties with Lilia; as Malleus notes in his Starsending segment, Gao-Gao was a gift from Lilia’s travels… and Gao-Gao set to leave once it has fully matured, so, too, comes the painful reminder that Lilia set to leave soon. It puts more pressure on Malleus to act, to come up with some kind of solution for a “happily ever after”. It’s his way of keeping his friends with him… whether they want it or not.

#twst #twisted wonderland #Diasomnia #Malleus Draconia #Lilia Vanrouge #Sebek Zigvolt #Silver #disney twisted wonderland #spoilers #notes from the writing raven #Idia Shroud #Ortho Shroud #Ignihyde #Pinocchio

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layce2015 · 11 months

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Supernatural (Dean Winchester x Female!Reader

What Is And What Should Never Be

Masterlist

*3rd Person POV*

Dean was driving down the road when his cell phone rings. "Yeah?" He said once he answers his phone. "There's a cop car outside." (Y/n) replied as her and Sam look out the window of the motel room to see a cop car outside.

"You think it's for us?" Dean asked her. "I don't know." She said, a bit nervous "I don't see how. I mean we ditched the plates, the credit cards." Dean said just as the cop car drives away. "They're leaving. False alarm." (Y/n) said, relieved. "Well, see. Nothing to worry about." Dean said.

"Yeah, being fugitives? Frigging dance party." She said with sarcasm and he chuckles a bit as (y/n) and Sam stand in front of a table, covered in books about a specific demon called Djinn, and on top of them is John's journal, open on the same subject.

"So you got anything yet?" She asked Dean. "Are you kidding me? How could I? You and Sam got me sifting through like 50 square miles of real estate here." Dean said. "Well, that's where all the victims disappeared." She replied.

"Yeah well, I got diddly-squat. What about you guys?" Dean asked. "Just one thing. We're pretty sure of it now." (Y/n) said as she pulls one book closer. "We're hunting a Djinn." She said. "A freaking genie?" Dean asked, shocked. "Yeah." She said.

"What? You guys think these suckers can really grant wishes?" Dean asked. "I don't know. I guess they're powerful enough. But not exactly like Barbara Eden in harem pants. I mean, Djinn have been feeding off people for centuries. They're all over the Koran." she said. "My God. Barbara Eden was hot, wasn't she? Way hotter than that Bewitched chick." Dean said and (y/n) sighs, exasperated.

"Are you even listening to me?" She asked, annoyed, then he clears his throat. "Yeah. So uh, where do the Djinns lair up?" He asked. "Ruins usually. Uh. Bigger the better – more places to hide." She replied. "You know, I think I saw a place a couple miles back. I'm gonna go check it out." Dean said. "Wait – no, no, no, no, no. Come pick us up first." (Y/n) said.

"Naw, I'm sure it's nothing. I just wanna take a look around." Dean said and he hangs up the phone. (Y/n) lowers her hand with the phone in it and sighs while Sam gives her a concerned look.

The Impala pulls up and almost comes to a stop in front of an old factory. Dean gets out then enters the factory, with a flashlight, swinging open a creaky door. He walks through what appears to be an abandoned office, with typewriter, file cabinets, etc. There's a dripping water sound, but otherwise it appears empty to him.

He looks back and forth in it a few times, and then starts walking back the same direction he came from but this time in the hall. On his right, among all the old things but what Dean doesn't know is that a figure, nearby, is watching him. He doesn't see it and walks on.

Suddenly, it attacks him, pinning him against the window wall. Dean drops the flashlight and the Djinn slams Dean's right hand up against a wall, forcing him to drop his knife.

The Djimm opens its left hand, which begins to glow blue, at the same time that the its eyes begin glowing. The Djimm puts its glowing hand on Dean's forehead and Dean's eyes roll up, and take on a faint blue hue.

Dean wakes up, bare-chested, and wearing a necklace that is not the amulet. He looks around to see a tv was on, playing some old movie. Then he looks to his left to see a nude woman lying next to him, but she had her back to him. He leans over to get a look at her, only to be shocked when he sees that the woman was (y/n).

He gets up, quickly, then looks around for a moment before he goes to get dressed and begin to walk around the apartment.

Sam, in another location, gets a phone call on his cell. He sees it's Dean and looks a little worried. "Dean?" Sam answered. "Sam?" Dean said, worried. "What's going on?" Sam asked. "I don't know. I don't know where I am." Dean said.

"What? What happened?" Sam asked, concerned. "Well, the uh, the Djinn. It attacked me." Dean replied. "The gin? You're...drinking gin?" Sam asked, confused. "No, asshat. The Djinn. The...scary creature. Remember? It put its hand on me and then I woke up...next to (y/n), who was with you..." Dean said and Sam furrows his brow in confusion.

"Why would (y/n) be with me?" Sam asked, confused. "Because you guys were doing research on the Djinn!" Dean exclaims and Sam laughs alittle. "Dean, you're drunk. You're drunk-dialing me." He said. "I am not drunk. Quit screwing around!" Dean growls at him.

"Look, it's late. All right, just get some sleep and, um, I'll...see you tomorrow. OK?" Sam said. "Wait, Sam! Sam!" Dean pleads but Sam hangs up, and flips his phone down, laughing a little. He sighs and slams shut a book he was reading.

Dean puts his phone back in his pocket, frustrated, and looks around. He sees an envelope, and picking it up, sees that it is addressed to:

(Y/n) (l/n)

53 BARKER AVE

LAWRENCE, KS 66044

"Lawrence?" He said, confused, then he looks at two more envelopes, which were addressed to him with the same address as (y/n)'s. "What the hell?" He mutters, confused.

"Dean?" A voice asked and Dean spins around to see (y/n) standing by the bedroom doorway, wearing a bathrobe. "What are you doing?" She asked as she starts to walk over to him. "Hey, (y/n), uh, I just uh..." he stammers and she smirks a bit at this.

"Does this mean I win?" She asked, smiling, and Dean looks at her confused. "Oh, now don't pull that crap on me, Winchester. We had a bet, remember? You made me watch that horror movie and said if one of us wakes up in the middle of the night first, the other gets to pick date night." She said and Dean gives a slight shake of his head.

"Yeah, yeah....sorry, it's just the dream I had was...pretty bad...couldn't go back to sleep." he said as he laughs, nervously. "Aww, my poor big, strong man." She said in a teasing tone as she walks up to him and places her hand on his chest. "Well, why don't you come back to bed and let's see if I can do anything to help." She said, in a seductive tone, which really made Dean go weak at the knees a bit. You have no idea how long I've wanted you to say something like that. He thought.

"Sure. Yeah. In a minute. You - you, you go ahead." He said and she smiles. "OK. Don't stay up too long." She said to him. "No." Dean said and (y/n) leans up and kisses him, warmly. As Dean kisses her back, he felt his heart leaping in his chest as this was something he had been waiting for for a long time. But something in the back of his mind was telling him that this isn't right.

They break the kiss and she walks back to the bedroom. Dean, meanwhile, goes to a bookshelf and sees a photo of (y/n), and another of him and (y/n) embracing. Then a picture, which made Dean's eyes widen, of the couple with (y/n)'s parents. He turns and sees something else shocking, he picks up another photo, and drops it, the glass shattering as it breaks. Dean turns on his heel and leaves the room.

He drives up in the Impala across the street. He shuts off the engine and goes over to his old house from his childhood. Dean begins banging on the door then rings the bell two times as well. The porch light turns on and the door opens. "Dean." Mary said, concerned. Dean just stares at her a few seconds, not believing his eyes. "Mom?" He said, his voice breaks almost like he's on the verge of crying.

"What are you doing here? Are you all right?" Mary asked, concerned. "I don't know." Dean said. "Well...come inside." She said and she steps aside and let's him in. "(Y/n) just called and said you just...took off all of a sudden." Mary said as she closes the door but Dean can't take his eyes off of her.

"(Y/n)? Right....Let me ask you a question. When I was a kid, what did you always tell me when you put me to bed?" He asked her. "Dean, I don't understand -" Mary said, confused. "Just answer the question." Dean said, with a hard tone. "I told you angels were watching over you." She replie and Dsan stares at her. "I don't believe it." He said and he walks over and hugs her tightly.

"Honey, you're scaring me." Mary said and Dean backs off. "Now just tell me what's going on." She said, worried. "You don't think that wishes can, can really..." Dean mutters. "What?" Mary asked. "Forget it." Dean said and he hugs her again. "Forget it. I'm just uh...I'm happy to see you, that's all." He said as he almost starts crying but pulls it together and releases the hug, looking down on Mary.

"You're beautiful." He said and he laughs a little. "What?" She asked, laughing. "Hey, when I was uh...When I was young was there ever a fire here?" He asked as he walks towards the wall, looking at the books and pictures. "No. Never." She replied.

"I thought there was." Dean said, slightly confused, then he sees a picture of John and Mary smiling with Dean and Sam as little kids in front of them. "I guess I was wrong." He mutters as he sees a picture of him, as a kid, in a cap, looking cool into the camera. Another picture of Dean and his prom date, clearly taken at prom.

Another of Sam as a graduate then another of picture Dean, Sam and (y/n) as teenagers. Dean picks up another picture, which is a black and white photo of John, dressed in baseball clothes with a cap and a baseball bat in his hand, ready to swing, smiling at the camera.

"Dad's on a softball team." Dean mutters to himself then he turns around, to see Mary looking at him, seriously. "Dad's...Dad's softball team. It's...That's funny to me." Dean said and Mary smiles, fondly. "He loved that stupid team." She said and Dean took notice of that. "Dad's dead? And the thing that killed him was a..." Dean said.

"A stroke. He died in his sleep. You know that." Mary finished for him. "That's great." Dean said. "Excuse me?" Mary asked, confused. "That - that's great. That he went peacefully, I mean. It sure beats the alternative." Dean said as he sets the photo back.

"You've been drinking." Mary said and Dean shakes his head. "No, I haven't. Mom." He said and she shakes her head. "I'm just gonna call (y/n) and have her come pick you up, OK?" She said as she goes to the phone.

"Wait. No, no!" Dean said as he puts his hand over Mary's, which is over the phone about to pick it up. "Don't - don't do that. Don't do that. I wanna stay here." He said. "Why?" Mary asked. "Because I-I miss the place. It's okay, you - you go to bed. Okay?" He said and he goes over to the couch, sits down, and looks around a bit.

Mary walks up to him, and strokes his face tenderly. "Are you sure you're all right?" She asked him. "I think so." Dean said, nodding. "Okay." She said and she bends down and kisses his forehead, like all mothers do. She starts out the room then stops by the door. "Get some rest. I love you." She said to him. "Me too." He said. She smiles and then goes to bed. Dean stays on the couch, looking perplexed.

The next morning, Dean wakes up on the couch to the sound of birds singing outside. When his eyes focus, he sees a picture of the whole family, including (y/n)'s family, the boys and (y/n) as kids and John is wearing a Santa hat, looking very happy. Dean opens his eyes completely, sitting up, confused. Then he dials his phone.

"Hey, it's me. I can't come to the pho-" Sam's voicemail said and Dean hangs up.

"Well I don't think I've seen you in my class before." The professor said as he stares at Dean. "You kiddin' me? I love your lectures. You...You make learning fun." Dean said and they laugh.

"So. What can I do for you?" The professor aske . "What can you tell me about Djinns?" Dean asked him.

Later, the two stand over a bunch of books, looking through them. "Well, a lot of Muslims believed the Djinn are very real. And they're mentioned in the Koran—" the professor started to explain until Dean interrupts him. "Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. Get to the wish part." He said, quickly.

"What about it?" The professor asked him. CDo you think they could really do it?" Dean asked. "Um...Uh, no. No, I don't think they can really do it. You understand these are mythic creatures?" The professor said and Dean nods. "Yeah, I know. I-I-I know. I know. But uh...I mean in the stories. You know, say you had a wish, uh. But you never even said it out loud. Like that, uh...that a loved one never died. Or that, uh, something awful never happened." Dean said.

"Supposedly, yes. I mean they have godlike power. They can alter reality however they want. Past. Present. Future." The professor said. "Why would the Djinn do it? What, self-defense? Or maybe it's not really evil." Dean said, questioning.

"Son? You been drinking?" The professor asked and Dean chuckles a bit. "Everybody keeps asking me that. But uh...No." he said.

Later, Dean opens the trunk to the Impala and sees only old magazines and paper cups and a rag in there, no guns or other weapons. "Well, who'd'a thought, baby. We're civilians." Dean laughs as he closes the trunk, and looks over at the building. A girl is standing in a white shirt, skirt and shoes, staring at him. Dean's smile fades as he senses something. He looks at her for a little while and then starts to cross the street, walking towards her.

Suddenly a car screeches to a halt as it avoids running into Dean. The driver hits the horn and Dean holds out his hand as he looks at the car. When he turns back towards the girl, she's gone. He looks puzzled for a moment, then turns back to the Impala.

Back at the Winchester house, Dean takes a bite out of a big sandwich, grunting 'cause of the goodness. "Mmm. Mmm. Mmm! This is the best sandwich, ever!" Dean said, calling out to Mary. "Thank you." She said from another room

"I tried to get hold of Sam earlier. Where - where - where is he?" Dean asked her. "Oh, he'll be here soon." Mary said. "Good. Dying to see him." He said. "Sweetie, I–I...Don't get me wrong. I am thrilled you are...hanging out here...all of a sudden." She said as she quickly strokes Dean's chin. "But uh...shouldn't you be at work?" She asked.

"Work?" Dean said, confused. "At the garage?" She said. "Right. The garage. It's where I work, yeah. No, I-I–I've got the day off." Dean snickers. "Heh. Good thing." He said as he takes another bite, again with the grunting of goodness.

Then he looks to the window. "That lawn looks like it could use some mowing." He points out. "You want to mow the lawn?" Mary asked. "You kidding me? I'd love to mow the law." He said. "Knock yourself out. You'd think you'd never mowed a lawn in your life." Mary said. Dean shrugs, thinking that no, he never has mowed a lawn. He looks all kinds of happy about the prospect of doing so.

Dean starts the lawnmower then begins to mow the lawn, looking really happy, enjoying it. He's not very adept at it. He sees the neighbor across the street putting out the garbage. He waves to him like a regular guy does in this regular world. The neighbor waves back, telegraphing surprise with his wave, and then Dean continues the mowing.

After he finishes, Dean was sitting on the steps to the front porch, drinking a beer, feeling happy when a car drives up and parks at the curb. "I don't believe it." Dean mutters.

He gets up to go greet Sam and Jessica, who are getting out of the car. Dean attacks Jessica with a hug while Sam takes out the luggage from the trunk. "Jessica." Dean said, happily, as he hugs her, tightly. "Agh! You're, uh...Good to see you too Dean." She said as Dean laughs. "Can't breathe, okay." She tells him and he lets go.

"Sammy." Dean said to him.

"Hey." Sam greets as Dean smiles. "Look at you. You're with Jessica, it's - I don't believe it." He laughs. "Yeah." Sam said, uncertain. "Where'd you guys come from?" Dean asked him. "We just flew in from...Califor–"

"California! Stanford. Huh? Law school, I bet." Dean said, interrupting Sam. Sam chuckles, somewhat disapprovingly, then motions to the beer in Dean's hand. "I see you started off Mom's birthday with a bang, as usual." He said and Dean stops and stares. "Wait. Mom's birthday, that's, that's today?" He asked. "Yeah. Yeah, Dean. That's today. That's why we're here. Don't tell me you forgot." Sam said and Dean looks a bit dumbfounded.

Suddenly, there was another car horn and they look over to see a new car pulling up. "Oh, looks like (father's name) and (mother's name) are here." Sam said and Dean stares as (y/n)'s parents get out of their car and Mary comes out of the house.

"(Mother's name)! (Father's name)!" Mary said, happily, and the two women go and hug each other then Mary hugs (father's name). "You made it!" Mary said to them. "Well, of course! You didn't think we would miss your birthday!" (Mother's name) said as they chuckle and Dean, Sam and Jessica walk up to them.

"Dean! What a surprise!" (Mother's name) said as she goes to hug him. "Hey, (mother's name)." Dean said, smiling, as he hugs her back. Then Dean looks over at (father's name), who was giving him a stern look. "Hey, (father's name)." Dean greets. "Dean." (Father's name) greets in a stern tone.

"Oh, (father's name), stop it." (Mother's name) said as he glances over at his wife for a moment then turns to face Sam. "Samuel! How are you?" He greets in a much friendlier tone than he did with Dean, which makes Dean look at this confused as Sam talks to (father's name).

That night at a restaurant, they're all sitting at a round table as Dean gets served a plate with asparagus spears bound into an upright sheaf. "Wow, that... looks awesome." Dean said as everyone chuckles. "All right. To Mom." Sam said as he raises a glass. "Happy birthday." He said as everyone raises their glass too.

"Happy birthday." Jessica, (father's name), (mother's name) and (y/n) said in unison. "Thank you." Mary said and they all clink their glasses in a cheer. "To mom." Dean said and he watches as Sam and Jessica kiss and smiles at them. (Y/n) then leans towards Dean, a look of worry on her face.

"I was really worried about you last night." She whispered to him. "Oh I'm...I'm good. I'm really good." He replied to her. "Okay. What do you say, later we get you a cheeseburger?" (Y/n) asked and Dean smiles. "Oh God, yes." He said and she smiles. "How did I end up with such a wonderful woman?" He asked her. "Years of wearing you down until you finally asked me out." She teased and Dean laughs then kisses her.

"All right. Jess and I actually have another surprise for Mom's birthday." Sam said then he turns to Jess. "Ah...You wanna tell 'em?" He asked her. "They're your family." Jess said, smiling. "All right." Sam said and Mary looks between them, smiling in anticipation.

"What? Tell me what?" She asked. Sam holds up Jessica's left hand, showing of an engagement ring on her finger. Mary laughs happily and (y/n)'s parents applaud and smile. "Oh my God! That's so wonderful." Mary exclaims, happily, and she gets up and hugs Jessica, who's also gotten up. Sam, (y/n) and her parents get up as well, while Dean still sits.

"Congratulations." (Y/n) said as she hugs Jess. "Thank you." Jess said then (y/n) turns to Sam. "Congratulations, Sammy." She said. "Thank you." Sam said as Mary goes and hugs him then (father's name) shakes his hand and (mother's name) hugs him.

"I just wish your dad was here." Mary said to Sam. "Yeah. Me too." Sam said, sadly. "Jessica, let me see that ring." Mary said to Jess and the women all gather around Jess as Dean goes up to Sam. "Congratulations Sammy." He said. "Thanks." Sam said.

"I'm really glad you're happy." Dean said to and Sam looks a little puzzled at Dean's intensity. Dean looks over his shoulder and sees the same girl he saw on campus. She looks much filthier this time. Dean brushes past Sam and walks over. Sam turns around when Dean hits his shoulder while passing by.

Dean passes a lot of people and when he passes the last one, the girl is gone. He turns around and looks at his family, as they stand looking at him, wondering what's up.

"So, Dean, what was uh...what was all that back at the restaurant?" Sam asked Dean as they enter Mary's house. "Ah... I-I thought I saw someone. I'm sure it's nothing." Dean said. "Well, I had a lovely birthday. Thank you. Good night." Mary said. "Good night." Jess and (y/n) said. "Good night." Dean said. "Night, Mom." Sam said then he turns to the others. "Yeah, well I'm beat." He said then he turns to Jessica.

"Ready to turn in?" He asked. "Sure." Jess said. "All right. Good night guys." Sam said. "Wait a second. Wait a second. Come on, it's not even nine o'clock yet. Let's uh...Let's go have a drink or something." Dean said and Sam gives him a weary look. "Yeah, maybe another time." Sam said.

"Come on, man. Look at us. Huh? We both have beautiful women on our arms. You're engaged. Let’s go celebrate." Dean said to him but there was an awkward silence after thar. Then Sam turns to the girls. "Guys, can you excuse us? I just want to talk to my brother for a sec." He said.

"Sure." Jess said while (y/n) gives a worried look to the boys. "Sam, please don't start." She said. "It'll be fine, (y/n)." Sam said and (y/n) sighs at this and she and Jess leave the room

"Come here." Sam said, onc she turns to Dean, as he walks to the other side of the living room. "What?" Dean asked as he follows. "Okay. What's gotten into you?" Sam asked.

"What do you mean?" Dean asked, confused. "I mean this whole warm, fuzzy ecstasy-trip thing." Sam said. "I'm just happy for you, Sammy." Dean replied. "Yeah, right. That's another thing. Since when do you call me Sammy?" Sam asked as Dean stares at him.

"Dean, come on. We don't talk outside of holidays. God, knows (y/n) has tried her hardest to get us to talk." Sam said. "We don't? Well, we should. I mean, you're my brother." Dean said and Sam scoffs. "You're my brother?" He said, repeating Dean's words. "Yeah." Dean said, laughing.

"You know, that's what you said when you snaked my ATM card, or when you bailed on my graduation, or when you hooked up with Rachel Nave." Sam said. "Who?" Dean asked. "Uh, my prom date. On prom night." Sam said. "Yeah, that does kinda sound like me." Dean mutters before he speaks up. "Well, hey man, I'm sorry about all that." He said and he walks towards Sam, who backs away.

"No that, look, that's all right man, I-I just...You know I'm not asking you to change. I-I just, uh, ...I don't know, I...guess we just don't really have anything in common. You know?" Sam said and Dean blinks before Sam starts to walk away.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Yes we do. Yes we do." Dean said before he laughs. "What?" Sam asked. "Hunting." Dean replies, like it was obvious. "Hunting? I've never been hunting in my life, Dean." Sam said to him. "Yeah, well, then we should go it sometime. I...I think you'd be great at it." Dean said and Sam starts to walk away again.

"Get some rest." Sam tells him and he walks away, leaving Dean in the living room.

Back at his home, Dean was sitting on the sofa, thinking, his brow furrowed when (y/n) offers him a beer. "My favorite. I guess you know me pretty well." He said and she laughs. "Perks of knowing you since I was about twelve years old."

Dean chuckles, softly, beforeshe looks down again and she frowns at this. "You all right?" She asked him. "Sammy and I...We don't get along." Dean mutters and (y/n) sighs at this. "Yeah, you two have had a rocky relationship." She remarked.

"Sam said that you've been trying to get us to talk." Dean said and she nods, slightly. "Well, yeah...you two are brothers and I hate to see you two this broken. But I think Sam's given up on trying to work it out as you have broken his trust one too many times." She said.

"And your dad doesn't seem to like me." Dean said and she waves a hand, vaguely, at this and said. "You know him, he's just being this overprotective dad. He's slowly getting over it, mainly is cause I think mom is wearing him down. She adores you." She said to him as he thinks for a moment.

"I can fix things with Sam. I can make it up to him. To everyone." Dean said and (y/n) smiles. "Okay. What's gotten into you lately?" She asked as she raises an eyebrow at him. "This isn't gonna make a lick of sense to you. But I kind of feel like I've been given a second chance. And I don't wanna waste it." He said. "You're right, that doesn't make any sense—" (y/n) said, chuckling.

Dean then leans in and kisses her. "You know, I get it." He said. "Get what?" (Y/n) asked. "Why you're the one." He said and she smiles. "Well?" She said as he kisses her again. "Whatever's gotten into you...I like it." She said and they begin to kiss, passionately.

"Ohhh...come on! Don't do this to me now. I've gotta get ready for work." She groans and she gets off the couch, leaving Dean sitting with his hands as if she was still between them. "You got to work now?" He asked. "I told you. I've got the night shifts on Thursday." (Y/n) said to him and he starts to get up.

"You work nights at the, uh..." he said and he goes to their shared bedroom to see (y/n) standing by the closet, taking out scrubs. Dean stands in the doorway. "…hospital." He said. "I'm dating a nurse. That is so...respectable." he said and she smiles and giggles at his words.

Later that evening, after (y/n) left, Dean was on the couch, putting his feet on the table, drinking beer and watching TV. He changed the channel to the stock market, cartoon, and then the news. He sees a land plane and hear a reporter. "And today marks the anniversary of the crash of United Britannia Flight 424." The reporter said and this gets Dean's attention and he leans forward as he continues to watch.

"Indianapolis residents held a candlelight vigil in memory of the hundred and eight people who lost their lives..." the reporter said and Dean shakes his head. "No, no. I stopped that crash." He mutters.

Then he goes to his laptop reading headlines that relate to cases he has solved.

Indianapolis Sun, December 5TH, 2005 - FLIGHT 424 CRASHES, 108 DEAD; Tragedy shocks the nation, as emergency crews continue to search rubble...

Nine Children Comatose; ... Mystery illness baffles doctors at Dane County Hospital

Parents mutilated in bed..; …Brutal double homicide in quiet residential area causes shock

GIRL DROWNS IN HOTEL POOL; Mother devastated after discovering daughter drowned

He catches a glimpse of a passing figure, a woman in white; maybe the same woman he has seen twice now. He gets up to see what it is. He opens his bedroom closet door and sees several female corpses, hanging. He hears a sound and turns around to see another woman, with a wound in her head, flickering in front of him.

He pants, shocked, and turns back around to the closet – to see nothing out of the ordinary.

Later, Dean was standing by John's grave, staring at it in sadness. "All of them. Everyone that you saved, everyone Sammy, (y/n) and I saved. They're all dead. And there's this woman, that's haunting me. I don't know why. I don't know what the connection is, not yet anyway. It's like my old life is, is coming after me or something. Like it like it doesn't want me to be happy." He said. "Course I know what you'd say. Well, not the you that played softball but...So go hunt the Djinn. He put you here, it can put you back. Your happiness for all those people's lives, no contest. Right?" He said then he becomes angry.

"But why? Why is it my job to save these people? Why do I have to be some kind of hero?" He asked and he begins to cry while talking. "What about us, huh? What, Mom's not supposed to live her life, Sammy's not supposed to get married? (Y/n) and I can't have a normal life together? Why do we have to sacrifice everything, Dad? It's..." Dean said then his lips tremble. Then he hears the sky rumbling and tears begins to falls on his cheek.

"Yeah..." he mutters and he wipes the tears on his cheeks. Then he turns around and walks away.

Back at the Winchester house, Sam was fast asleep when, suddenly, he hears a noise downstairs and he wakes up. He comes down the stairs, quietly, with a bat in his hand then he stops in the doorway, leaning looking into the living room.

He sees the window open and under it, someone is in one of the cabinets. Sam goes in, swinging, but the person gets up and counterattacks, throwing him on the floor. "That was so easy, I'm embarrassed for you." A voice said and Sam looks to see that it was Dean.

"Dean? What the hell are you doing here?" Sam asked him as Dean gets up, letting Sam get up off the floor. "I was looking for a beer." Dean replied. "In the china cabinet?" Sam asked as he goes to turn on the light and sees the box with their parents' silverware on the floor, open.

"That's Mom's silver." Sam said as he looks at Dean, upset. "Sam." Dean mutters and Sam becomes angry. "What, you...you broke into the house...to steal Mom's silver?" He asked, angrily. "It's not what it looks like. OK, I didn't have a choice." Dean said to him. "Oh really? Why? What's so damn important you gotta steal from your own mother?" Sam asked.

"You want the truth?" Dean asked. "Yeah, yeah I do." Sam said and Dean shrugs. "I owe somebody money." He replied. "Who?" Sam asked. "A bookie. I lost big on a game, I gotta bring him the cash tonight." Dean said.

"I can't believe we're even related." Sam grumbles. "Sam, I'm sorry." Dean said. "Yeah." Sam mutters, quietly. "I'm sorry that we don't get along. And I wish to hell I could stay and fix it. But I gotta do this. People’s lives depend on it." Dean said to him. He turns around and take a knife from the box.

"What are you talking about, Dean?" Sam asked him. "Nothing. Forget it. Just uh...hey, tell Mom I love her." Dean said. Sam frowns, seeing that something is up, as Dean goes for the door. "Dean." Sam said, worried, and Dean turns around. "I'll see you, Sammy." Dean said and he walks out the door, taking one last look at the house and Sam.

Sam stands in the living room where Dean left him, confused, then he hear the Impala's engine start.

Dean was sitting in the car, engine going, thinking, when, suddenly, the passenger door opens and Sam gets in the car. "Get out of the car." Dean tells him. "I'm going with you." Sam said. "You're just gonna slow me down." Dean tells him. "Tough." Sam said, firmly.

"This is dangerous and you could get hurt." Dean said to him. "Yeah, and so could you, Dean." Sam said.

"Sam—"

"Look, whatever stupid thing you're about to do, you're not doing it alone. And that's that." Sam said to Dean, firmly. "I don't understand. Why you doing this?" Dean asked him and Sam sighs. "Because you're still my brother." Sam said and Dean stares at him for a moment.

"Bitch." Dean mutters and Sam gives him a confused look. "W–hat are you calling me a bitch for?" He asked, offended. "You're supposed to say jerk." Dean said to him. "What?" Sam asked and Dean shakes his head. "Never mind." He mutters and he puts the Impala in gear and they drive off.

As they drive down the road, Sam looks down on a bag on the seat between them. "What's in the bag?" He asked, sighing. "Nothin'." Dean replied. "Nothin'?" Sam asked. "Yeah, nothin'." Dean said. "Fine." Sam said and he grabs the bag and begins to open it.

"You don't wanna do that." Dean said. "Oh really?" Sam asked. And he takes out what was in the bag. It's a container of blood. "What the hell is this?" Sam asked, staring at the container. "Blood." Dean replied, flatly. "Yeah, I can see that it's blood, Dean! What the hell is it doing in here?" Sam asked, upset. "You don't really wanna know." Dean said.

"No I-I do really wanna know. I really, really, do." Sam said. "Yeah, well you're gonna find out sooner or later. I needed a silver knife dipped in lamb's blood." Dean replied. "You needed a silver knife dipped in lamb's blood, why?" Sam asked. "Because there's this creature. A Djinn. And I have to hunt it." Dean said.

"Okay, um...stop the car." Sam said. "I know how it sounds." Dean said. "Great. Just...stop the car." Sam said, again. "It's the truth, Sam. All right, there are things out there in the dark. There – there – there are bad things. There are nightmare things. And people have to be saved and if we don't save them, then nobody will." Dean tells him.

"Look, I wanna help you, all right. I-I really, really do, but you're having some kind of psychotic breakdown, so, I...just –" Sam said. "I wish." Dean mutters and Sam picks up his phone and starts dialing a number. Dean rolls down his window, grabs Sam's phone, throws it out, and then rolls up the window again.

"What the hell was that, Dean? That was my phone!" Sam yells. "I'm not going to a rubber room, Sammy. And we got work to do." Dean said to him. "What? I was just trying to help you out, Dean. I don't, I don't want you to get yourself hurt." Sam said.

"What? You protect me?" Dean asked him. "Yeah!" Sam exclaims and Dean laughs. "Oh, that's hilarious. Why don't you just sit tight and try not to get us both killed." Dean tells him and be starts the radio and the music blares out.

The Impala drives up between the factory and stops in between two buildings. Dean looks over at Sam, who is asleep. DeN picks up his flashlight and shines it on his face. Sam wakes with a start. "Where are we?" Sam asked. "Well, we're not in Kansas anymore." Dean said as he chuckles at Sam. When there's no reaction, the smile dies.

"Illinois." Dean said. "And you think something's in there?" Sam asked. "I know it is." Dean said and they get out if the car and head towards the building.

"See? There's nothing here, Dean." Sam said as the boys walk along the the building, Dean holding his flashlight. "Look, (y/n)'s gotta be worried sick about you, Dean. Come on, let- let's just go." Sam said after walking for a few minutes until they hear a sound. "Shh!" Dean said to him

"What the hell is that?" Sam asked him. "Stay behind me and keep your mouth shut." Dean said and they head into a large room. There they see bodies hanging from the ceiling appearing before them. It's the same bodies Dean saw in his closet earlier. There was a drained blood bag hanging next to one of the bodies.

"What the hell?" Sam asked as Dean looks further to the right, and the woman Dean has been seeing was hanging like the bodies. They approach her and see another blood bag next to her, filled with blood. Her eyes are open, but she looks close to dead.

"It's her." Dean mutters and Sam looks at the bag and at her wrists that are tied, just like the others. She begins to moan and whimper. "Dean, what's going on?" Sam asked then Dean grabs him. "Shh!" He said as he sees the Djinn is coming out.

When it comes out from behind a wall and walks up behind the woman, the guys are gone. "Where's my dad?" The woman crys. "I won't tell..." she sobs as she looks at the Djinn. "Don't." She moves her feet away from the Djinn. "Where's my dad." She cries as Sam and Dean, who were behind a shelf, watches.

The Djinn touches her face. "Sleep." He whispers as some blue flares go over her cheek while he strokes her. The Djinn's eyes glow bright blue. "Sleep...Sleep." he continues and her head falls forward, eyes still open and her feet relaxes, falling forward again.

The Djinn rests his face against her arms, touching her right arm and breathing heavily, eyes closed. He then goes for the blood bag, pulls out one straw and puts it to his mouth, drinking her blood. Sam sees this and gags in disgust.

The Djinn hears this, and turns around right away; its eyes flash blue and he begins to move towards their hiding place. When he gets there, the guys are gone. The Djinn walks up some creaky steps while the boys were standing below them, looking up, following his steps.

When a door closes, Sam begins to breathe loudly. "This is real? You're not crazy?" Sam asked while Dean stares at the woman. "She didn't know where she was. She thought she was with her father." Dean said, thinking aloud.

Then the boys walk up to the woman again. "What if that's what the Djinn does? It doesn't grant you a wish, it just makes you think it has." He mutters. "Look man. That thing could come back, all right?" Sam said, worried, but Dean walks past Sam in the opposite direction of the woman.

He looks up at a light bulb and it starts to flicker in brighter light. "Dean, please." Sam pleads and Dean starts to breath, heavily. "What if I'm like her? What if I'm tied up in here some place? What if all this is in my head?" Dean asked then he walks up to the woman. "I mean it could, you know, maybe it gives us some kind of supernatural acid, and then just feeds on us slow." Dean said.

"No. Dean, that doesn't make sense. OK?" Sam said. "What if that's why she keeps appearing to me? She's not a spirit. It's - it's like more and more like I'm catching flashes of reality. You know, like I'm in here somewhere, and I'm - I'm catatonic, and I'm taking all this stuff in but I, but I can't snap out of it." Dean said.

"Yeah, OK, look. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're right. I was wrong. You're not crazy but we – we – we need to get out of here. Fast." Sam said and hs starts to pull Dean with him. Dean pulls his arm loose from Sam, who looks at him and throws his arms out like what?

"I don't think you're real." Dean said. Sam, agitated, sucks in a breath. "Dude, you feel that?" H asked as he grabs Dean by the arms. "You feel this? I'm real. This is not an acid trip. I'm real, and that thing is gonna come down here and kill us for real. Now, please—" Sam said.

"There's one way to be sure." Dean said and he pulls out the silver knife. "Whoa, whoa, whoa. What are you doing?" Sam asked, backing away. "It's an old wives' tale. If you're about to die in a dream, you wake up." Dean said and Sam shakes his head. "No, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's crazy. All right?" Sam said.

"Maybe." Dean said with a determined look. "You're gonna kill yourself—" Sam said as he walks up to Dean but Dean holds out the knife and his other hand to stop him. "OK." Sam said.

"Or I'm gonna wake up. One or the other." Dean said. "OK. This isn't a dream, all right. I'm here, with you, now. And you're about to kill yourself, Dean." Sam said. "No, I'm pretty sure. Like, 90% sure. But I'm sure enough." Sam said and he turns the knife on himself, takes both his hands to the handle, ready to thrust it into himself.

"WAIT!" Sam shouts and Dean stops. Suddenly, Mary walks up next to Dean, in the same nightgown that she died in. Behind Sam, (y/n) appears. "Why'd you have to keep digging?" Sam asked him as Dean looks back at Mary as Jess appears on his right side.

"Why couldn't you have left well enough alone?" Sam asked as Dean looks around. "You were happy." said Sam and Mary comes up in front of Dean. "Put the knife down, honey." Mary said and tears form into Dean's eyes.

"You're not real. None of it is." He said. "It doesn't matter. It's still better than anything you had." Mary said. "What?" Dean asked. "It's everything you want. We're a family again. Let’s go home." She said and Dean shakes his head. "I'll die. The Djinn'll...drain the life out of me in a couple of days." Dean said, his voice breaking.

"But in here, with us, it'll feel like years. Like a lifetime." Mary said and Dean looks over at Sam, who half-smiles and nods to him. "I promise." Mary said as she takes his chin in her hand, and he looks down on her. "No more pain." She said as she strokes his cheek. "Or fear. Just love and comfort. And safety. Dean, stay with us." Shd said and she strokes his other cheek and he leans into her hand, closing his eyes "Get some rest." She said.

"You don't have to worry about Sam anymore." Jess said and Dean looks over at her. "You get to watch him live a full life." She said and Mary steps away, and (y/n) walks up to him, taking his face in her hands then kissed him. "We can have a future together. Have our own family. I love you, Dean. Please." She pleads, softly, and Sam walks up to him.

"Why is it our job to save everyone? Haven't we done enough?" Sam asked, echoing what Dean said earlier. "I'm begging you. Give me the knife." Sam said and Dean looks at (y/n), Sam and Mary with tears in his eyes. Then he backs away looking at the floor. He raises his head, looking at Sam and (y/n).

"I'm sorry." He whispers and he thrusts the knife into himself, and blood immediately comes out of his mouth.

*(y/n)'s POV*

"DEAN! DEAN! Dean." Sam and I shouted as we walk up to Dean, who was hanging from the ceiling, a blood bag hangs next to him. "Oh God. Come on." Sam whispered as we shake him. "Hey. Wake up. Wake up, damn it!" I said, panicked, and Dean grunts a little. His eyes begin to focus on us.

"Hey. Hey." Sam said as we shake him awake. "Ahh...Auntie Em. There's no place like home." Dean mutters and I let out a sigh of relief. "Thank God. I thought I lost you for a second." I whispered as Sam pulls out the tube in Dean's throat. "You almost did." Dean whispers and I smiled at him.

"Oh God." Sam said as he breathes, heavily. "Let's get you down." He said and Sam reaches up and starts to cut through the rope as Dean winces over the pain and grunts a little. "(Y/n)! SAM!" Dean yells and I turn around, see the Djinn then I go to the Djinn with the knife.

The Djinn knocks me down then goes after Sam for a moment, gets him to drop the knife. I shake my head and see that the Djinn had got the upper hand on Sam, and is holding him by the throat. The Djinn's hand was glowing blue, and he is moving it toward Sam's forehead, but Sam was struggling, pushing against his wrist and trying to stop him.

I grabbed my knife and thrust the knife into the back of the Djinn. Then I pull the knife out and it falls to the ground dead. Sam breathes heavily from being strangled and I help him up and go over to help Dean down, who doesn't look too good as he was pale and with red-rimmed eyes.

Once we get him down, we walk up to the girl. He puts his hand to her neck, feeling for a pulse. A tear rolls down one of her cheeks. "She's still alive!" Dean said and he pulls out the tube in her neck as I cut her rope. Dean and Sam catch her as she goes down.

"We gotcha. We gotcha. We're gonna get you out of here, OK? We gotcha." Dean said as the girl makes small wheezing sounds while I watch Dean and Sam help her down. "We got you." He said.

"OK, uh, thank you so much for the update. OK, bye." Sam said into his phone as Dean and I were sitting on the edge of a hotel bed. Dean was looking down and I placed a hand on his shoulder. He looks at me and I give a reassuring smile then he smirks back and takes my hand in his.

"That was the hospital. Girl's been stabilized. Good chance she's gonna pull through." Sam said once he hangs up his phone and comes up to us. "That's good." Dean said and Sam nods.

"How 'bout you? You all right?" I asked Dean and he clears his throat. "Yeah, I'm all right. You should have seen it, guys. Our lives. You were such a wussy, Sam." Dean said, chuckling.

"So we didn't get along then, huh?" Sam asked. "Nah." Dean said. "I thought it was supposed to, to be this perfect fantasy." I said, questioning. "It wasn't. It was just a wish. I wished for Mom to live. That Mom never died, we never went hunting and all of us just never uh...you know." Dean said.

"Yeah. Well, I'm glad we do. And I'm glad you dug yourself out, Dean." Sam said and I nodded. "Yeah, me too. Most people wouldn't've had the strength, would have just stayed." I said. "Yeah...Lucky me. I gotta tell you though, guys. You know, you had Jess, Sam. Mom was gonna have grandkids...(y/n), your parents were alive." He said.

"Yeah, but...Dean...it wasn't real." Sam said. "I know. But I wanted to stay." Dean said as he looks sad and lost. "I wanted to stay so bad. I mean, ever since Dad...all I c– all I can think about is how much this job's cost us. We've lost so much. We've...sacrificed so much." Dean said and I go and remove my hand out of his and wrap it around his shoulder.

"But people are alive because of you." I said and Dean scoffs. "She's right. It's worth it, Dean. It is. It's not fair, and...you know, it hurts like hell, but...it's worth it." Sam said and Dean looks at us then down again, sadly and pensively.

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deliciouskeys · 11 months

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Preface: I’m a card carrying member of the Homelander Is So Cute UwU club, and a lot of the fic I consume is various ways to get a redemption wish fulfillment.

And even with this level of HL bs tolerance, I periodically come across a sentiment in this fandom that, frankly, gives me bad vibes: “HL is not written as a rapist in the TV show and Becca would have been the one outlier event, so it probably didn’t happen that way.”

Are we watching the same show? The creepy way he talks over Maeve at the race in S1E3, the way he strongarms his way into a fake relationship with Starlight in S3, the threat of harvesting Maeve’s eggs right after assuring he’d never do something as gross as force himself on her…. Are all pretty rapey.

It’s a particular flavor of rapey, and quite different from the one in the Garth Ennis comics, granted. At the risk of being reductive, I’ll reference the Groth rapist subtyping (proven problematic when used to categorize real people but good enough for this):

HL in the comics is presented a sadistic rapist: The type that gets off on their victim’s suffering, that likes to emphasize their victim’s helplessness, and the power differential between them. This goes for Starlight’s initiation, Becca’s rape, and even colors the Soldier Boy herogasm scene which is allegedly consensual but definitely not in the #metoo era.

HL in the show is presented as a power rapist: the type that actually plays down any power differential, and wants to delude themselves into thinking that the victim was willing all along or (perhaps even better!) came around because of the rapist’s sheer sexual prowess. The force used is often soft— words over physicality— and sometimes oblique (I.e. ‘the implication’ in It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia). The usual MO of the daterapist.

Homelander being nervous and subby with Madelyn doesn’t negate those scenes— she has a very particular role in his life to have that dynamic with him. The possibility of him being ‘groomed’ by her at an early age doesn’t negate that either. If anything, people who are sexually abused are more likely to become abusers themselves.

All that said, can you hc that he isn’t a rapist? Can you write fic set in a universe where these scenes didn’t happen? Of course.

Am I saying Kripke and team did an impeccable, nuanced job with this subject matter? No.

But I cringe every time I see the “HL could never rape anyone ever, he lasers people but he’s a sub and we all know subs can’t rape anyone, and that’s canon!” discourse on tumblr, and its close cousin on Reddit of “HL is so awesome, why would he need to rape anyone / who would ever refuse him.”

………… and now you can argue with me if you want lol, the floor is yours.

#canon vs fanon #sorry gang but I had to say this #tw rape #tw that tired old rape discourse about HL #homelander #homelander meta #the boys #the boys tv

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writeyouin · 5 months

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Hello!! Omg I love your writing SOOOO much!!! If holiday requests are open, I was wondering if you might gift us with a V for vendetta Christmas fic? Like, something fluffy where reader is stuck in the shadow gallery and is having a real blue Christmas UNTIL... V surprises them with something unexpectedly festive? *cough* mistletoe *cough* ❤️❤️❤️

V X Reader – Christmas Blues Part 1 of 2

A/N – Okay, so I got two very similar xmas requests for V for Vendetta, so I’m doing this as a 2 parter. Part one is this, part 2 will be smut. You can read part one without part two.

Warnings – None.

Rating – T

V stared at you, certain you must find his expression mocking behind the jeering grin of his mask. He had never intended to hurt your feelings, only to let you down gently as it were. He knew he didn’t do enough for you. There was never enough time, and his work was important… But weren’t you also important?

No, nothing could compromise his mission. If all went according to plan, he would be ready to blow up the Old Bailey in another two years, thus starting his revolution. Yet, doing such things took time, and there was so much that V had to learn and prepare. He didn’t have time to rest – not even on Christmas Eve. However, in telling you so and seeing your disappointment – Well, it was just another way in which he was a monster.

The worst part was that you were taking it in your stride. Granted, V could see how upset you were as your eyes became glassy with tears you refused to shed, but you didn’t complain; it seemed that you knew just how much his work meant to him.

And so, V left you, stating a humble apology as he passed you and made his way to the roof. He had to hurry. There was a train to catch – a train straight to the Chancellor that was jam-packed with priceless intel.

Even when V left you, you still refused to cry. A small part of you had known this would happen. It was quite likely that V didn’t celebrate Christmas anyway. How many times had he told you that the holiday was stolen from its pagan roots? Or that the name was changed to suit its Christian hosts? And now that the UK was stuck in a dictatorship, the Holiday was only used to control people – it was like a gift the Chancellor could give or take away at will.

If the population was good, they would get their later curfews and sparkly light shows, but if they ever needed further subjugation, then a false threat would be created by Suttler’s goons, and harsher lockdowns would be put in place. Then, said imaginary threat would then be taken care of just in time for New Year’s Day so the people would have a chance for revelry, all while feeling a false sense of security under their great and powerful leader.

So, that left you all alone, as usual, but you knew you couldn’t blame V. To act as he had was simply his nature. You could no more ask him to change than you could ask birds to stop flying or fish to cease swimming. You simply had to pull up your bootstraps, pick some traditions, and enjoy the Holiday spirit.

That was easier said than done since there was nobody to lift your spirits and hype you up as you did all the things you were supposed to do. After eating dinner alone, listening to Christmas music, and hosting a lone trivia card game, you were quite thoroughly depressed.

In the end, you put on a film from V’s collection. In your current mood, It’s a Wonderful Life seemed to be the right choice; besides, you liked picking a film from Suttler’s blacklist, and It’s a Wonderful Life had been banned at the start of his reign for its socialist views.

Partway through the film, you spotted V’s sparring partner – the suit of armour he tormented during his favourite movies whenever he thought he was alone. Well, if he could be V’s movie frenemy, then he could also act as your film friend.

Slowly, you started talking to him, giving your opinions on the film, and of its characters. At some point, you began acting out scenes, much as you had seen V do, though where he chose violence, you chose love. The suit was your James Stewart, and you, Donna Reed, though sometimes, you would switch roles if you thought it was a particularly good Stewart scene. You lassoed the moon for your metal friend, then you switched roles and offered it a broken mansion for its honeymoon.

Although there was no mistletoe kiss in the film, you stole some you had decorated the fireplace with anyway, placing it over the armour’s helm. It was almost as if you would have felt silly kissing it without the mistletoe, even though it was ridiculous to peck the metal beak either way. You turned away from the unmoving man so that when you did kiss him, you would be able to swing around dramatically and give him that world-ending, 1940’s bombshell of a kiss.

The film played alongside in the background as George Baily returned home safe – he was loved and cared for, and then, it was the perfect moment to swing around, throw your arms over the broad shoulders and kiss –

V?!

Your momentum carried you forward as your lips pressed against the cool metal of his mask.

You tried to scramble back, hurrying out apologies but V held you steady.

“Don’t.” He told you. “Don’t apologise.”

“V, I- I thought you were-”

“I came back,” He said as if it were the only thing that mattered. In truth, he had rushed through his mission, stolen the required intel on a USB and hurried back without even so much as looking at the data. Leaving you the way he had didn’t sit right with him. You were an amazing person, always forced to put yourself second since you did everything you could to please V. He didn’t want things to be that way. He wanted you to have more.

Granted, the two of you weren’t yet in a relationship, but you had just kissed him, albeit inadvertently, and V was no fool; he knew the feelings you harboured for him.

“(Y/N),” He whispered your name, placing a gloved hand on your cheek. “You have given me more than I could have ever hoped for. You are a virtuoso of my heart, vibrant and vivacious as you pass through the veneer of villainy that masquerades so violently in the vales above. Of all that resides here in the Shadow Gallery, you are the most valuable to me. Although it is entirely selfish of me to ask such a thing of you, I hope that you will stay with me… always.”

You trembled against V, entirely terrified to open your mouth in case no sound came out. He waxed poetry so eloquently, and you often failed to make yourself say all the things you thought without tripping over your words.

Still, you couldn’t stay silent at such an important time in your life. V was – He was everything and to have him by your side would be like capturing the stars themselves, cosmic and inexplicable as they illuminated your heart and mind, burning any darkness or fear away.

You couldn’t look away from V, knowing his gaze must be expectant beneath the mask. Realisation dawned upon you, you didn’t need fancy words, or masses of poetry to complete the moment. All you needed was what V valued most; the truth.

“I don’t want to spend a day without you. I love you, V.”

“Then, by all means, let us abandon our fat metal friend,” V spared the suit of armour a backward glance, thinking how you could have kissed it instead of him, “and retire elsewhere. I myself do not celebrate this holiday, but I would love to partake in some of your more beloved traditions.”

#fanfiction #fanfic #reader insert #reader #v #v x reader #v fore vendetta #v for vendetta x reader #christmas blues #part 1 #part one

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redux-iterum · 6 months

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Dullard Participates in the Book Club and Actually Intends to Continue? Impossible.

So, first book of Wings of Fire read.

Honestly?

Didn’t hate it. Rather liked it, actually.

I’m just gunna go over what stuck out to me the most, because there is a good deal to talk about with this book and I don’t want to go on a ramble about timelines and worldbuilding and all that. I’ll leave that to Lynx, the fucking nerd that she is.

The dialog is my favorite part, which should surprise nobody who knows about my love of banter. It feels very different from other HC book series like Warriors or Survivors – it’s comedic and witty, more casually spoken than attempting to sound cool. There’s very little in the way of contrived conversation, if you get what I mean; characters interact authentically instead of to move the story forward or backward. Dialog spoken by villains and general antagonists can be pretty cliché, but those characters are pretty cliché in general, so it still feels about right for them.

The worst part, for me, are those aforementioned villains and antagonists. I get that this is a kid’s series, so you have to make who the bad guy is more obvious for the sake of ease of understanding. I just found them cartoony compared to the more organic-feeling protagonists. Granted, the protagonists are also a little tropey, but I would argue their tropes work together very well to create a natural, nuanced character, with the side benefit of mixing beautifully with the other protagonists’ personalities. Clay is the Big Guy, but he’s also sweet-natured and meek, having had his true power emotionally beaten out of him, which gave him a lot of self-worth issues and doubts as to his competence that left him unable to really fulfill the Big Guy role. All of the heroes are like this (Tsunami is fucking amazing, by the way), and the characters we’re supposed to like have similar thought put into them.

Perhaps that’s not the right way to put it. The villains do have thought put into them as well. It’s just that the thoughts all centered around finding the clearest ways to make someone evil. There’s no real nuance to them; if they have multiple traits, it’s to further vilify them. Scarlet is the worst of the bunch, which sucks, because she’s the main villain of this book. I can enjoy a solely-evil, card-carrying villain, but she was just cliché as hell and I didn’t like it. She could have been more interesting, is all.

Slightly related, the names are not the best. Again, kid’s series, so the names are bound to be simpler, but man. Scarlet for an orange dragon? There’s not a lot of cohesion in them either – which, to be fair, illustrates the difference between the tribes of dragons (earthy names for MudWings, for example, and it seems like NightWings like to do two-part names like Morrowseer and Starflight). I don’t think the names overall work, though, either in differences or in cohesion. The main heroes’ names could afford to sound better together, is what I’m saying.

Final thought to close this on: god DAMN are these books violent. Like, I know Warriors is violent, but this book has beheadings and melting faces and burning people to death just mentioned as an aside! I wouldn't go so far as to call this book dark, because this aspect of the story is part of the action and excitement, not there to just pound on how bleak and depressing everything is. It just shocked the hell out of me that this shit got past the editors and higher-ups. They had a lot of faith in this series if they allowed this level of violence.

That’s about all my main takeaways from this first book. I do plan to read the second book, since this one was quite promising. I hope I’ll have more to talk about when the end of December comes and the second book is over.

#book club #wof #wings of fire #the dragonet prophecy #i speak #readmore

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theresattrpgforthat · 1 year

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I love tragic roleplaying games, like Ten Candles, Icarus, Dread, Alice is Missing. I wondered if you had any recommendations for others? Not looking for solo games at the moment (although I know there's plenty tragic ones!) and I like a bit of crunch, or at least a strong core mechanic like those mentioned above. Thanks!

THEME: Tragic Games

Hello friend. I have some games here for you to look through! I had a hard time finding specifically crunchy games. In fact, I noticed that quite a few of the games I found happened to be Belonging Outside Belonging games - games that are designed to talk about existing on the margins of society, and games that work really well when it comes to GM-less play. This kind of play allows players to step forward into tragic and dangerous situations on their own terms, and rewards them by granting them a token, which can be used to enact a much more powerful move down the road.

Our Love Will Destroy Us, by RJKGames.

You did it, exactly what the old fools of the Hunters’ Guild warned you against. Fell in love with your target, the both of you. One of you was barely trained, untested, didn’t know any better; the Guild might forgive you, but the other? You were meant to know better.

And the funniest thing? They love you back. Or they did, before Hunger consumed them. So arm yourself, with stake and cross and sweet words you never had the courage to say aloud, and clean up the mess you’ve made.

Our Love Will Destroy Us is about a duet game about a Vampire and a Vampire Hunter, who must either kill the one they love or entreat them to overcome their Hunger before sunset. The game is played using a deck of tarot cards, which will be used to resolve the Hunter’s attempts to entreat with the Vampire. Each Entreaty uses a description of an Anchor and elements called Mementos, which will help the two players fill out the story of their loved ones, including what the Vampire fears, the reason the Hunter kills, and the victories and tragedies that led up to this very moment.

If you are looking for a close personal game of heartbreak and loss, I recommend One Love Will Destroy Us.

In the Face of Our Despair, by Rae Nedjadi.

IN THE FACE OF DESPAIR is a collaborative storytelling game about a group of fae guardians fighting a doomed war in a forest that falls to vampiric corruption.

This game tells the story of the physical and magical corruption of the fae guardians as they lose more of their territory to the vampire lords. Their battle will ultimately bring them to the heart of their home, where the Lord of the Forest resides. Should they survive this long, this is where they will make their last stand against the vampires and their twisted servants.

This is not a hopeful story of magical beings successfully fighting off the invaders and saving their home. All they are doing is trying to buy enough time for survivors to leave behind the forest, to preserve what little magic they can. In hopes that one day, generations from now, others will rise against these vampire lords and destroy them.

This game is related to Brinkwood: Blood of Tyrants, and while it can act as a prequel to Brinkwood, it can also work as a stand-alone game.Unlike Brinkwood, this game uses the same rules as Trophy Dark. Right not the first two incursions (adventures for Trophy) are available, with at least 5 more on the way.

Downfall, by lessthanthreegamess.

In Downfall, you choose a Flaw you want to explore and build a unique and irredeemably broken world around it. See how Greed destroys a city, how Loyalty corrupts a kingdom, or how Curiosity betrays a galactic empire. You'll craft traditions that bring your society to life, then see how it all comes tumbling down.

The game works in any kind of setting, from mythical fantasy to the real world to high-flying science fiction. It's made to tell a whole story in a single 2-4 hour session and doesn't require preparation, dice, or a GM.

You build your setting together, creating a rich physical and cultural landscape to destroy during play. If you enjoy world-building, you'll love making a society in Downfall.

This game is specifically designed for three players, and explores tragedy on a broad scale. You may be playing individual characters, but the tragedy that occurs will have consequences on the entire world around them; it is too big for any one person to fix. If you liked Icarus, you might want to try out this game.

Heaven in the Dust, by Luke Jordan.

Heaven in the Dust gives us lonely roads and crowded factories, empty bellies and heavy hearts, old grudges and swift infatuations, and always The Fates singing in the back of your head, asking "what are you gonna do now?"

Heaven in the Dust is a tragic GM-less roleplaying game about flawed Greek gods struggling with scarcity and mortality down in the dust and dirt of a hostile world.

It charts the gods' messy relationships, their tangled feuds, their old flames and new loves, and their decisions as they attempt to build community and find happiness on a foundation of shifting sand.

It is a game of belonging outside belonging using the "No Dice, No Masters" engine for 3-6 players, and should take between 3 and 4 hours per session. No Dice, No Masters, also referred to as Belonging Outside Belonging, sets up a table where everyone around the table has the same power and opportunity to contribute to the story. These games usually have playbooks to represent characters, but will also contain setting elements that players can pick up and take turns using to figure out what the world around you is doing.

If you like re-imagining mythic stories in new settings, and if you like the idea of playing setting elements as well as characters, you might want to check this one out.

Tomb Candles, by deecity.

Tomb Candles is a module for Ten Candles set in the Locked Tomb universe (Gideon the Ninth and its sequels). Take the role of a necromancer adept, a cavalier, a Cohort soldier, or even a Blood of Eden rebel as you try to survive on a world that's swiftly dying.

Tomb Candles includes brief setting materials, to help you and your players capture that good lesbian space necromancy magic. Refresh yourself on the lingo, and help players unfamiliar with the lore get a running start.

If you’re not familiar with The Locked Tomb, there is basically a primer to help you run Ten Candles in the Locked Tomb setting, providing you with an initial situation that you can use to run the game in. If you’re already familiar with Ten Candles and you’re interested in exploring a new (and fascinating) setting, this free module is totally worth checking out.

After the Rain, by desksanddorks.

What do you want most? What would you lose to get it?

Those are the questions you will have to answer while playing After the Rain, a one shot roleplaying game for 3-6 players. After the Rain casts you and your friends as desperate individuals bound together in pursuit of a shared goal. Standing in your way is The Rain.

The longer you are exposed to The Rain the more you will lose your memories, experiences, and the things that make you who you are. As the game progresses, you’ll be forced to change. Will you crumble without your past experiences or adapt to the loss of your memories and embrace the new person you must become?

You start this game building characters and the pieces of them that make up who they are. These Facets could be professions, addictions, traumatic pasts, personal causes, and more. The game happens over a series of acts in which the characters will endeavour to accomplish a goal, while losing pieces of themselves in the process. Accomplishing the goal isn’t necessarily the point of the game - your characters have a very good chance of failing and the fallout might end up a better story than if you had succeeded.

Crisis, by Mitch Schiwal.

CRISIS is a superhero RPG about saving the world and how it breaks them. You play a group of heroes teaming up to stop what is coming for your homes. All the while you must grapple with what doing this job has cost you and how long you can keep this going.

The game is meant to grapple with the duality of being a hero. The struggle between civilian and heroic identities and what success in one has cost the other. When the clock strikes midnight and the crisis arrives, what are the things truly worth saving?

Unlike traditional superhero games that encourage players to engage with a power fantasy or a hopeful story of self-discovery, Crisis asks you to consider the loneliness that can come with falling outside what is considered normal.The hard moves that your hero will do are usually physically or emotionally difficult - and thus require a token to spend. The game also uses something called a Crisis Deck, a deck of cards that will provide prompts that will help you determine what kinds of new obstacles stand in your heroes’ way.

Follow Me Down, by Joie Martin.

Follow Me Down is a tabletop roleplaying game for two players, inspired by the legend of Orpheus and Eurydice, and the mythology of the Greek Underworld. It is a story of love and loss that has been told many times and in many different ways. To countless generations, the characters of Orpheus and Eurydice represent the distance we are willing to go for love and the reminder that, no matter how devoted we are, love can only carry us so far.

Follow Me Down uses the Powered by the Apocalypse rules engine and is divided into sections, called Books of the Dead, where the characters journey through different parts of the Underworld in search of one another. It is designed to be GM-less, with each player portraying two roles during the course of the game.

As a duet game, the players will take turns embodying their character, while their counterpart picks up the role of the Fates, who lead the story towards its inevitable Denouement. At the end of the game, the players will reflect on the journey that both of their characters have travelled down, and ask themselves if they are the same people who started this journey. Will you win your loved one back, or has death left them irrevocably changed?

His Red Hand, by Carrie Imago.

HIS RED HAND is a 3-player tragedy about fallen angels, built on Jay Dragon's Nameless Engine.

Where do we go from here? How long can we live with the pain?

This game is a tragedy built for a cast of three. You play as fallen angels, condemned for daring to rebel against the almighty will of their Creator, as they struggle to survive and care for each other in the face of overwhelming odds. In addition to these Characters, you will portray one of the Threats currently making their lives a living hell. All players can step in to play bit roles and add color to the world whenever it feels right to do so. The story will end when all of the Characters are dead or broken, or when you get tired of watching them suffer.

This game system has a lot of similarities to Belonging outside Belonging, in that players will exchange tokens in order to pick up certain moves in the story. Unlike traditional Belonging Outside Belonging games, this system contains an option called “Cruel Moves”, which allow your character to take a token from someone else by doing things such as lying to another person, reminding them of things they are insecure about, or refusing to care for someone. If you are going to play this game, you definitely need to have a conversation about safety tools, and what your players are comfortable with before you start play.

Games I’ve recommended in the past.

Red Giant, by Rookie Jet Studio.

Bluebeard’s Bride, by Magpie Games.

#game recommendations #dnd #tabletop games #tragic games #indie ttrpgs #asks

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p5x-theories · 5 months

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Bit of a longer one, but something has always felt off to me about the palaces in P5X and I think I figured out why…

These aren’t palaces and while they share the terminology, they function differently.

The method of access is changed to be based on travel in Mementos rather than keywords.

Kiuchi’s palace is based on his past lust and glory days as a baseball player rather than his vengeance quest against Motoha, when that’s arguably his greatest desire as of now.

Miyazawa’s palace is a film set disguised as a temple, with his shadow as the lead actor rather than an actual position of power like either a director or a Shinkansen. Bonus points that neither of his palaces themes refer to food at all, despite that being an integral part of Miyazawa’s day job.

Finally calling cards are excised from the heart changing process, and although we only see Kiuchi’s treasure, to my knowledge it doesn’t tie in at all to his desires outside of being a baseball (I don’t think it’s said if it’s the ball Arai struck him out with)

So what am I getting at?

The palaces of phantom x, while made of desires like the ones in 5, they are made of desires for “greatness” that is filtered through their distortions and corruptions.

Perhaps the “X Yaldabaoth” is a well intentioned (albeit seriously misguided) being seeking to grant humanity’s greatest desires on an individual level, more like Maruki in a way, and whomever is orchestrating these “phantom attacks” is seeking to prevent these palaces from forming.

(This game is so fun to speculate about, I can’t wait for demo 3!)

Ooo, that IS a fun theory! That's such a good catch, that these Palaces seem to be less of a distortion based on their desire, and more of a desire for something (greatness, as you put it).

I was going to point out that Palaces even in P5 do tend to have a bit of that- arguably Kamoshida, Madarame, and Shido's Palaces are also kind of a monument to their own perception of their greatness- but thinking about it, even then, the real focus of the Palaces isn't that in and of itself. Kamoshida's is what he does with that power (the volleyball team members being tortured, the cognitive Ann, Shiho, and Mishima, how he "rules over" it all) as he chases a past glory (his Olympic medal), Madarame's is about how he keeps his power going (his students as paintings, the whole museum showcasing "his" work) and the first time he stole art to such a direct extent (the Sayuri), and Shido's is... well, it's a lot of things, haha. It's how he reinforces his power, it's his end goal, it's how he protects himself, and it's all based on his political career (his legislator's pin).

That is to say, you're absolutely right- at least so far, even though Miyazawa does have some power over others in the real world, even his Palace seems like it might be more about where he wants to be than where he is. I will say, I'm pretty sure his Palace is a film set modeled to look like a Japanese castle, not a temple? But either way, I think the theory stands. I like your idea for how the "X Yaldabaoth" and phantoms might fit into this, too!

Now that you've got me thinking about it, maybe that's why the phantom thieves of P5X don't need calling cards? It's not something the Palace ruler has that's being stolen, it's something they want. Certainly still a theft of desires, but thinking about it, definitely not the same kind of "desire" as in P5, which probably fits with P5X's general lack of desires.

This is a really good catch, thanks for sending it in!

#complete-idiot-inc #theories #takeyuki kiuchi #hiromu miyazawa

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neonacity · 1 year

Text

ARCANE : INIZIO | CH.6 | NCT DREAM X READER

Summary: When human deviants granted with the abilities of the legendary Arcana cards find themselves racing against devious forces, they are left to make a choice that might change the fate of the world itself: be the victims of the game, or become the masters of it themselves.

But will this war end with a crowned hero?

Or will it just create another mad villain?

*****

Note: This is the second book of Arcane. The happenings in this story is a prequel to the first installment which you can check in my Masterlist. Since the lore is highly dependent on the first book, I highly suggest you check it out first—otherwise, new readers might have a hard time understanding what is happening here. Expect lots of time jumps and flashbacks throughout the chapters.

Pairings: Dream 00’ Line + Mark x Reader

Trigger Warnings/Themes: romance, violence, torture, trauma, poly dynamics, suggestive themes, language, psychological, mystery, sci-fi. The concept of the tarot or Arcana cards will be loosely used throughout the series. Note that I am not a trained doctor so there may be some slips here and there about medical things. Again, this is a work of fiction and I am not implying any likeness between the characterization here of the boys to their real life counterparts. I also reserve the rights to all my work—I do not post anywhere else other than tumblr. Minors DNI. Please do not repost. I only publish my works in Tumblr.

Previously > CH. 1 | CH.2 | CH.3 | CH.4 | CH.5

In the beginning, there was everything and nothing.

Quod est superius est sicut quod inferius, et quod inferius est sicut quod est superius.

That which is above is like to that which is below, and that which is below is like to that which is above.

Harmony and equilibrium is the great thread that runs through the universe, and the very same law that keeps the aether, the nether, and the mundane world coexist peacefully with each other. For billions of years since the dawn of existence, humanity prospered in between the world above and the underworld, supported by opposing life forces necessary to keep the universe from tipping over. For centuries, there was peace, until a great shift started unraveling the fabric of the three worlds.

Greed. Pride. Lust. Gluttony. Envy. Sloth. Wrath.

As human consciousness grew, so did their desire for more festered. Kingdoms were created at the expense of tearing apart lands, wars were waged for vainglory, and lives were traded in exchange for earthly pleasures. As darkness threatened to tip the great balance of the three worlds, heavenly and nether forces were forced to work together to keep the universe from losing its equilibrium. Where the three dimensions once co-existed separately before, the greater powers threaded in the greater cosmos lent parts of their forces to the mundane world to try and keep its balance.

And thus, the twenty-two Arcana powers were born.

Each heavenly and infernal force chose its human stewards, vessels who can wield the energies of aether and nether in the mortal realm. The powers were neither good nor bad, but the first Grandmasters—and their succeeding bloodline—were given a task that they will have to carry along for as long as humanity exists: keep the equilibrium in the mundane world and protect it with their lives.

The powers are divided into three classes, the same way the universe is with its three dimensions.

The First Class: The Knights. Arcana masters whose abilities can bend matter and elements to affect the physical realm.

The Second Class: The Oracles. Arcana masters who have control over the subconscious, the psychic, and the ethereal.

The Third Class: The Triad. The holders of the last three pillars of the Arcana. Alone and separated from the bloodline, they are powerless, but together with the great system, they are the only ones who can tap into the abilities of the other masters.

For decades, the bloodline grew and prospered as new masters were born every generation. While the Family's existence is kept a secret from the greater mundane world, its members prospered and made their marks known in society as its secret vanguards. Kings, Queens, Inventors, and Great Artists, the force of the secret brotherhood was threaded and felt throughout the course of humanity. Wars were won and some battles were lost, but one thing remained the same. Regardless of the battle, the Grandmasters are here to protect the balance of the universe.

And so it begins, once again.

******* "Make one wrong move and you lose your head."

You turned around, not in fear of the words that managed to break through the mundane talk over at your breakfast table, but because of the familiar voice that said it. Beside you, Renjun, Haechan, Jisung, Chenle, and Jaemin also did the same, their expressions changing as their eyes landed on the group now smiling at your lot. You gasped the same time the boys made their own expressions of surprise, some even jumping from their seats.

"Johnny-hyung!"

"Woah, Jaehyun-hyung and Yuta-hyung—"

"Taeil-oppa?”

"Hey, kids. What's up?"

The tallest of the group, a man with black hair that fell over to his eyes, gave your table a wink before reaching over to ruffle Haechan's hair. Everyone was still pretty much stunned by what was happening that Ten's amused laughter had to pierce through the ruckus to bring you all back to focus.

"I told them they can all see you later after classes but these losers had to force their way in here to make a scene. I guess the cat's out of the bag then. We have visitors."

"You're talking as if we didn't just graduate here a couple of years ago," a guy standing by his side with a playful smile nodded over to him, his eyes sparkling. "Is that what being a teacher does? You used to run around with us and do—"

"Shut the fuck up, Yuta. And I'm not a teacher here, I'm the Academy's doctor. Kun is the one who ended up with the boring job."

"I'd love to call it boring, but I think it's actually pretty cool. You saw their breakfast buffet? Do teachers also get that now?" A shorter guy with close-cropped hair motioned towards the half-finished plates on your table. Taeil gave you all a small smile seeing the still stunned look on your faces.

"You all look like you're seeing ghosts," Johnny teased as he plopped on the vacant seat next to you. With a big grin, he draped an arm over you and pulled you into a half hug that almost cut off your air supply.

"Hi, Princess. You've grown up, haven't you? You still single?"

You couldn't see anything while being smothered by the bear of a man, but you heard Haechan clearly from somewhere across the table.

"Yah, hyung!"

"Uh-huh, I think she is still single."

“Yep. Definitely still single.”

Another voice chimed in, sounding extremely amused. You were on the verge of protesting when Johnny finally let you go with a laugh. You pulled away, a little disgruntled, and came face to face with a chuckling Jaehyun across from you.

"What are you all doing here?" You finally managed to ask, your tone a little disgruntled as you tried to straighten your hair that Johnny managed to mess up. A few of the other students still lingering for breakfast threw you looks from the other tables, gawking at the newcomers. Not that you can blame them. For the general student body, this group had a reputation as the ringleaders of the Academy in their heyday.

For you and the rest though... It’s a little bit more complicated.

After all, there is just no way it is plain coincidence to have the strongest Arcana Masters back in Rosewood.

In terms of control and maturity of abilities—and unlike the current masters enrolled as students—the earlier batch of Arcana masters are at the apex of the current generation of ability holders. Their powers have matured enough to be at their full potential after years of training and practice. If this were a battle, they would be considered the war generals—and seeing who is at Rosewood at this very moment can in no way be lacking of any significant meaning.

Johnny, Master of the Justice. Arcana Number: 08. One of the most physically strong in the family, his position is at the forefront of battle, not because of his sheer prowess in fighting alone, but due to the nature of his power. Ability: Karmic Manipulation. Whatever's done to him, he can cast tenfold of it back to its wielder by mere compulsion alone.

Jaehyun, Master of the Tower. Arcana Number: 16. He stands next to Johnny in the line of fire, being the human embodiment of carnage itself. Ability: Destruction Magic. Jaehyun has the power to shift energies to destroy everything on his path, including their life force so that they are totally erased from the cycle of the universe, never to be reincarnated again.

Yuta, Master of the Hanged Man. Arcana Number: 12. Another ace of the family, Yuta is one of the few members whose power can be projected to the outside world and to himself. Ability: Gravitational Manipulation. He can control the physical laws of gravity to his advantage, allowing him to also be the only member to have the ability of flight.

Taeil, Master of the Hermit. Arcana Number: 9. Though not a physical caster, his powers are probably one of the most terrifying among the Oracle class. Ability: Nightmare Inducement. He can get in anyone's head to know their greatest fears and project them to the physical world.

Ten, Master of the Chariot. Arcana Number: 7. He rarely uses his powers because they can affect the fabric of destiny alone. Ability: Space-Time Manipulation. The lord of time himself, he can jump through different dimensions and locations at will.

"Can't an alumni visit their home school?" Johnny asked back, his tone light. You exchanged a quick glance with Jaemin and Renjun beside you.

"Aren't you supposed to get married next month, hyung?" Chenle asked politely but pointedly. It was brief, but Johnny's friendly smile slipped ever so slightly before he caught himself again. For once, he actually seemed like he didn't have any answer to shoot back.

"Masters just can't go back any time they want to… We are all meant to go somewhere to watch over things after leaving Rosewood. Aren't you working for the Korean Central Intelligence Agency, Jaehyun-hyung?" Renjun said next.

"I'm pretty sure you don't get a lot of vacations there to spend for a quick school visit," Jaemin trailed off to drive the point across.

If the group wasn't obvious earlier at least for the clueless, they certainly are now with the way they exchanged looks. Ten looks like he was on the verge of breaking when another trio caught all of your attention as they strolled towards you. Your eyes rounded in surprise when you recognized their faces.

"Taeyong-hyung," Jisung voiced out the man's name who was currently flanked by Kun and another girl whose face you know so well. What on earth has your father done this time?

"I thought we agreed to talk to all of them together?" Kun frowned at Ten who gave him an exasperated shrug.

"They never listened to rules as students, do you really think that has improved now?"

"Sorry for barging in. Are these guys bothering you?" Taeyong asked, his eyes kind as usual as he regarded all of you. It's been a couple of years since you've last seen him since he graduated, but you realized that the former Head Boy and well-known Legacy in the family has retained his kindness until now. Taeyong, like Kun, is a member of the bloodline but lacked any powers, but that hasn't stopped him from playing a pivotal role in the clan. While Kun stayed at Rosewood to defend it should something happen, Taeyong was sent to fight for it and protect it from a distance. The duty given to them is what earned the pair the title of this generation's Ace of Shield and Ace of Sword.

"Taeyong-oppa… You're also here," you trailed off before your gaze unwittingly slipped towards the girl standing by his side. She looked like she didn't want to impose her presence, but you couldn't stop yourself, not when you know her face all too well.

"And you… Mijeong?"

Her head jerked and she looked at you wide-eyed as you called out her name. Despite the strangeness of the situation, your lips slightly twitched into a knowing smile.

"You remember my name?"

"We were classmates at Advanced Psychology. And you've also been watching over me since I joined the University. I hope my father didn't force you to do it."

If she looked surprised earlier, then Mijeong definitely seemed shell-shocked now. Beside her, Taeyong raised his brow curiously before glancing at Kun who looked like he was trying his best not to smile.

"You, you've always known that I—"

"Was tasked to guard me? Yes. I wouldn't think too much about it though. You're really good, but I've also spent my whole life living with my father's schemes."

"I guess she wouldn't need too much introduction then if that is the case. Kim Mijeong, she's the master of The Strength and—" Taeyong started before he was cut off by a flash of silver darting from out of nowhere past him. The movement was too quick for all of you to notice, but the next thing you saw was the butter knife safely tucked between Mijeong's middle and forefinger. The girl raised her eyebrow before twirling the blade casually in her hand.

"Yuta… Can you please not do that?" Taeyong asked with a sigh. The boy in question smirked, his eyes set on the other Master.

"When they said La Fuerza is from the Kim clan, I didn't expect it to be the little sister. I had to check if she’s good since that family thinks they're too good for Rosewood," Yuta said, his eyes dancing. Mijeong returned the snark by staring him down.

"We have a different training as the working guards of the family. I don't think it's such a bad idea to skip the Academy too if it means we get spared from mingling with douchebags like you," she snapped back smoothly before making a show of making one last twirl of the blade in her palm before closing her fist around it. The lot of you watched, jaw slacked, as she easily folded and bent the metal in her hand like it was a piece of paper. The next second, she was flinging it back to Yuta's direction with a flick of her wrist. The now crumpled clump of metal stopped just a few inches from hitting the other in the face as he stopped it with gravity.

Chenle gave a low whistle, impressed by the show. Kun, however, looks like he was done with the exchange.

"Okay, can we just stop throwing blades at each other for a moment? It's 9AM."

"Yes, which makes it the perfect time for you guys to answer our question. I'm afraid even this isn't enough to distract us," you added before giving the newcomers a pointed look. Taeyong gave you a slightly guilty smile before touching the back of his head.

"Your father invited us for a little bit of help. We don't think we will be here for a long time though, don't worry. I think he just has a few things he wants to try."

The way you and Haechan looked at each other at the same time told you one thing. He’s not lying, but he’s definitely not telling the whole truth either. If there's one thing you all know about Taeyong, it's his talent to make the worst of things sound like a frolic in the garden.

"When you say a few things he wants to try…" Haechan asked, prodding for more.

"A few… classes specifically. And drills," Kun was the one who answered this time. Silence dropped on your table, thick and loaded with meaning. The next one who broke it was the most unexpected of all.

"Is something happening? If there is, I think we have a right to know about it," Jisung said, his voice still polite but steady. Several pairs of eyes swiveled towards him, surprised by the youngest’s comment. You could almost physically touch the lingering guilt from his older brothers before Taeyong finally sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"We want to tell you, but the Headmaster hasn't given us a lot of information either. He called us back to protect Rosewood against attacks—from who, I doubt he knows himself—and to prepare everyone. Especially you kids."

"What does that mean?" Chenle asked, confused. "All of us got calls from our families yesterday. They said we might leave the Academy temporarily."

"Not until you finish your training," Jaehyun said as he crossed his arms over his chest.

"Training? With who?" Jaemin replied.

"With us." Johnny answered as he finally picked himself up from his seat. You and the others froze, not expecting his answer. Nobody needed to say anything for all of you to piece together what’s happening.

The seniors are not only here to protect the Academy, but to prepare all of you for a bigger war.

"We're officially making an announcement later but since you're all here…" Kun started, looking at each of you. "The rest of the student body will be sent back to their homes today. Regular classes are indefinitely postponed to make way for drills which will start tomorrow."

"All Knights class will be divided into groups and will be trained under Johnny, Jaehyun, Yuta, and Mijeong. The Oracles will be assigned to Taeil and Ten. Taeyong and I will be moderating everything."

"And the Triads?" You asked, causing Kun to stop. He looked unsure of what to tell you, but you didn't waver, keeping your eyes steady on him for an answer.

"I think you need to talk to your father first..."

Your hands balled into fists under the table. You haven't talked to the man again again since your confrontation at his office, but the fact that he didn't include you in any of his plans does not mean anything good. You kept silent now, however, knowing that you should be more careful of your actions.

"You can all go back to the dormitories now. We'll just call you again once everything is ready. I suggest you just… relax today," Taeyong said before looking at the other newcomers to signal them to leave. You all watched quietly as the group picked themselves up and bid you their goodbyes.

Renjun was the first one to talk once everyone was out of the door.

"What's going to happen now…?" He asked quietly. Haechan dropped again to his seat, looking as worried as the rest of you.

"Training under those beasts? We're going to die. That's what's going to happen. We're going to fucking die."

******* "Get up. We need to go."

Jaemin opened his eyes and gave you an unbothered glance the moment you locked the door behind you. He looked unsurprised by your sudden barging in, a look of mild curiosity tracing his features as you started pacing in his room. He remained unmoving from his spot on the bed even as you finally turned to him, gnawing at nail on your thumb.

"What exactly are we up to today?" He asked mildly, raising his brows at you in question. You paused, not knowing how to best phrase the answer.

"We're ransacking my father's office."

The silence that followed was almost painful. You winced, expecting the worst reaction.

"You've absolutely gone mad, noona."

Your shoulders slumped at his reply. He is right. You've reached the point of being batshit crazy this time, but you're also desperate, and time is not necessarily on your side.

"Look, I need to do something. There is no way Papa will tell us anything so we need to find our own answers. This is the only time that we have. I checked. He left the Academy again so his office is free," you paused before finally staring at him. "Will you help me?"

It took him a bit to answer. The truth is, when it comes to things like this, he is the only other person you could trust to have your back. Mark is too straight-laced to try and do something like this—that and the fact that he still refuses to talk to you—and Jeno... Jeno would be another good option too if only he hasn’t been avoiding you as well. The rest, you didn’t want to drag into trouble in case you get busted. You didn't realize that you've been holding your breath until Jaemin finally sighed and started picking himself up from his bed.

"They say I'm the devil, but you're actually more dangerous. Don’t play innocent, you already know my answer when it comes to you," he said as he straightened his clothes. You tried your best to hold back your grin from showing.

"You can say no, you know," you quipped as you both headed to the door. He easily opened it and motioned for you to lead the way.

"When I can ask for a payment for this favor? I don't think so. Lead the way, love. We have some sleuthing to do."

******* "So, what exactly are we looking for?" Jaemin asked as he went through the stacks of books in your father's shelves. The room was dim with only one small fluorescent lamp that you decided to open and you squinted in the dark as you flipped through the folders on his desk.

"I don't know… Anything that can give us a clue. He told me that the Kims alerted him about people trying to pass through the barriers of Rosewood a couple of months ago. I don't believe he hasn’t been working on getting any leads since he found out about it."

At your words, Jaemin froze on his spot and slowly turned to look at you. You returned his gaze knowingly as you closed another folder and placed it back to its pile.

"People? You mean—"

"Humans… Mundanes who aren't part of the bloodline," you muttered grimly. This is the first time you've shared the information to any of them since your talk with your father. You figured this is the best time to give him an idea, given everything that has happened in just a span of a few days.

"But how—" he paused, his face strained. "Is this what this is all about then? Whatever it is that we are preparing for, it's against the humans?"

"Not just any group of humans, I guess. Someone powerful, or else they wouldn't have much influence to pull something as big as this. That's what we need to find out. Whoever wants to steal the Arcana powers."

"So this isn't really a fight but a hunt. That's why our parents are asking us to leave and why Jaehyun-hyung and the others are going to be training us. We're running away and being taught to defend ourselves."

You didn't immediately answer, though the look on your face was enough of a confirmation for him. The truth is, you still do not want to follow the path your father is drawing up for everyone. Escaping is the most logical course of action, but it can also start a cycle that none of you might be able to break. If you run now, you'll be looking at your backs and living in fear forever.

"Is that why he is also marrying you off to Mark-hyung?"

His question was not surprising, but it still definitely made you pause. Ever since your father told you about the arrangement, you haven't really talked to anyone about it, Mark included. After your talk, you are convinced he was trying to stay away from you as much as he can—and for that, you couldn't really blame him.

"It was a discussion between him and Mark's father. None of us said yes to it," you said, shifting your eyes away from him and continuing to sift through the other files on your father's desk. Jaemin was quiet, but you could feel his stare heavily on your skin.

"I think you know what his answer will be given the choice. The question is, do you want to marry him?"

This time, you felt your heart clench.

"I don't want to marry anyone for convenience."

Jaemin's loaded pause was so palpable you almost wanted to escape him.

"You love him. You can fool anyone, but not me. You've always loved him."

"If you're so good about reading me, then you should also know the reason why I can't be with him," you said as you finally met his gaze steadily. The light from the lamp threw shadows over the curves of his face from where he stood, but it was the look in his eyes that spoke the words none of you wanted to speak out.

You didn't know when it happened, but as you grew up, both Jaemin and you somehow came upon a silent agreement never to talk about things like this. It wasn't needed, because you both know where you stand in each other's lives. It was a silent dance, one that both of you were content in doing for as long as it could work. He never rocked that boat, but as you looked at him now, you were also gripped by the sudden fear of that world slowly being tipped over.

"It is the right choice…" he said slowly, almost as if he was forcing the words out of his lips. "If the humans are after us, that means there is a traitor in the family. The Masters will be vulnerable, especially you and your father. Mark-hyung's family… You can either be a part of them, or have them as your number one enemy."

"Do you want me to marry him, Jaemin?"

This time it was him who stopped. His expression didn't falter, though you noticed the way his jaw slightly ticked as if he was trying to control himself.

"If my family can give you the same protection that his can, then believe me, I would have whisked you away by now and married you on the spot."

You took a slow breath in at his answer.

"You can’t say that. You know that I— "

"Love me just as much as you do him, Jeno, Renjun, and Haechan? I've personally never had any problem with that. I think you know that by now. I want you. I don't care whatever else comes with that."

To say that you weren't ready for this conversation was understating it. Jaemin had always been safe, that one person you knew would always have your back without really losing sight of what should and shouldn't be done. Right now though, he is making you look at things that you aren’t ready for yet.

You were so lost in your thoughts that you didn't notice him crossing the distance to where you were seated. The next thing you felt was warmth touching your cold cheeks as he ever so gently tipped your face to look at him. The way he held you and the look in his eyes almost made you want to fold into yourself.

"Tell me what's on your mind… You're hurting…" he whispered as he started gently running his hand over the corner of your eye.

"I wish you didn't know me so much."

He smiled.

"IL Matto or not, you can't run away from me when it comes to that, love."

It took you a moment to answer again. After a few more heartbeats, you finally stood up and walked towards the center of the room, as if putting distance between the two of you would somehow lessen the impact of your words.

"I don't think I will be living long enough to marry anyone, Jaemin," you started, voice low enough only for him to hear. His eyes slowly widened and you avoided his gaze to not see the realization there.

"It hasn't been part of my plan. Ever. I don’t want to stay here for a long time. How can you live in fear knowing that you can turn mad one day and just lose everything? It's terrifying."

"You're not going to—"

"I will. In time," you cut him off before he could even finish. "Papa knows it and I know you do, too. I can feel it. It will happen one way or another. It’s the curse of IL Matto."

He was quiet. For the first time, he actually let his emotions run free as he stared at you. You could see the gears working in his head and you gave him a small smile as you watched him piece things together.

"You want to fight," he said lowly. “You’re going to go against your father’s plans.”

"Yes. Somebody had to stand up to him. I don’t want to run. I want to try to fix things while I still can.”

He was about to say something again when a sudden beeping rang through the room. You both turned to the phone on your father's desk, it's red light beeping from the incoming call. You were still both frozen on your spots when the ringing finally stopped and the system switched to voice mail.

"Sir, we're done trying to process the specimen that we got from the night you were attacked. The men were using unknown technology that was unlabeled but we traced some of the scraps we got from the site and made a successful match. We have a name now."

Both you and Jaemin stared at each other, faces pale. Your heart was beating so loud against your chest that you thought you wouldn't hear the unknown man's next words.

"It's Cypher Institute."

******* "I'm surprised that you're actually the one who showed up today. I thought you were making sure to keep things under the radar."

The lilting, almost amused voice of the woman felt like thin ice needles slowly sinking into his skin. The private room's lighting was dim, but even the lack of proper illumination didn't tarnish the deep red lips that now tilted into a mirthless smile across from him. Everything about her looked cold, almost to the point of artificial perfection, and that's coming from a man who is also known for icyness himself.

"A show of faith to this unlikely partnership, if I must say. I didn't want you to think I might stab you on the back," he answered back just as smoothly, his expression never-changing. The woman's smile widened, showing perfect white teeth.

"Now, now. I think you don’t have too much faith on us. Why would I think that, after all that you've done for us…?"

"Junho Lee."

The mention of his name almost made him flinch. As one of the most prominent members of the Arcana bloodline, he does have an ability of sensing energies of others. This woman might be powerless—a regular human—but what she has is something more sinister than any of the ancient powers above and below.

Unadulterated greed.

And madness.

"I want to personally have your word about our arrangement," he said stiffly, his cold gaze unwavering on her. She merely turned her head a little to the side in mild interest.

"Mm… Is this the one about your son? Feel free to be specific. The consequences of your betrayal run deep after all."

Her use of words finally shook his facade. His fists closed in response, an action she did not miss from the way her eyes lit up with amusement. When Junho Lee signed up to this agreement, he knew he was permanently damaging his sacred ties to the Family. Playing with fire was part of the game, but he did not expect to be against the Devil herself.

"I need your word that my son will be unharmed once all of this is over and done. I don't care whatever else you do, but Mark stays safe."

"Of course. Is that all?"

He paused. The woman’s expression didn’t change but something about the way she looked at him told him that she was probing for... more. Junho knew this time will come when he will be asked to make a choice, but that didn’t make the process any easier now that he is finally at the crossroads.

When he decided to sell his soul to Cypher, he only had one goal. To make the man who was behind the death of his wife suffer. An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. IL Giudizio allowed his own wife to go mad and wreak havoc on others, resulting on the death of a whole generation of Masters. He was the reason why his family was ruined and why Mark's mother was ripped away from him. The man deserves to suffer, his family included, and yet… he couldn't bring himself to betray his daughter to the Institute. While he has no trace of care for the current IL Matto, he knew—from the way his son looks at her—that she is one he is willing to burn the world for; the same way he is doing now for his own lost love.

Mark already lost his mother. He can't bear to rip the last woman he loves from him too. For that, he is willing to spare some souls.

"Yes. Just him. You can do whatever it is that you want with the other Masters."

"Ah… how cruel. To think that your family used to be the number one trusted clan of the whole bloodline itself. Who would have thought that you would be the one to send them to the slaughterhouse yourself."

"I am loyal to no one and nothing but power."

The woman paused, her smile frozen in her lips. Her vision was one of the most terrifyingly beautiful things he's ever seen, her eyes piercing… still probing.

"One last question then," she said slowly, deliberately. His facade never changed despite the cold starting to gnaw at him from the insides.

"Who is IL Matto?"

"I do not know. IL Giudizio considers me as his closest confidante and trusted ally, but not enough for him to betray the last member of the Triad even to me. If you want to look for the last Master, you'll have to torture it out of his own lips."

He delivered his answer so smoothly and so effortlessly that he could have fooled anyone with his lie. But this woman is evil incarnate herself, and for that he had to work harder. It felt like having a stare off with a beast waiting for its prey to blink and show any weakness. He didn't waver though until finally, she smiled at him once more.

"I see. If that's the case, then you have our promise. Your son will be spared. But only if you deliver your end of the bargain. Time is running out and I am growing bored."

"Bring IL Giudizio to Cypher."

Junho took that as a cue for him to finally stand up and leave. Straightening his coat, he gave her a look that could rival her ice.

"One of my men will give you a call once everything is ready. Tell IL Mondo... I send my regards."

Miyoung’s smile sharpened at the edges as she followed the man's retreating back until it disappeared out of the room. Her soft voice lingered in the air, an echo of the closing of the door.

"Let the games begin."

CHAPTER 7

*******

A/N: So... It’s been two months. Are there people who even still remember this story? Lol. Anyway, I’m just dropping this here real quick before I semi-disappear again. This feels rushed and and is shorter than usual, but I’m glad I was still able to finish a chapter. Enjoy!

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