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detransdamnation · 10 months

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I'm still really upset about that post [AL] I wrote on educators telling students' parents about their dysphoria or transgender identity because this topic is really only a small part of a greater framework of how "parental rights" harm youth.

If abuse is most likely to be perpetrated by immediate family members, especially parents, that means that, speaking strictly statistically, parents are the least safe people to tell about a child's mental health struggles because they are most likely to use them to abuse them. Factor in that many youth who develop a mental illness in the first place have faced abuse at some point in their lives—and many are subsequently abused, mistreated, or neglected after said mental illness develops—and this becomes even more dire because the root of these teens' mental illness and the unhealthy behaviours which arise from them is significantly likely to have grown from the hands who feed them. "Mental illness is a product and reflection of our environment" is not only what so many of us espouse and incorporate into our belief systems but is also a relative, observable fact.

And yet, in response to teens who are struggling as a result, we operate as if this is completely untrue. And it's not only apparent in this aforementioned debate; it is apparent in this entire culture of conditional confidentiality wherein everything a minor shares with a psychologist or therapist or social worker is "just between us" but as soon as the teenager crosses a line, takes a step too far, expresses symptoms or develops coping mechanisms that are a little too close for comfort (or respectable politics), all of a sudden, it is no longer the professional's job to help and support the teenager but the parents' right to know about the teenager's struggles because it is the parents' job to keep them safe, always assuming but almost never confirming that the parents ever actually cared about what a parent "should" do. There is never consideration that the parents are the reason why the teenager is unwell, why the teenager is unsafe to themselves in the first place, and that telling the parents about the teenager's mental state could do even more harm than whatever harm the teenager is posing to themselves at the time.

And this is something that the most vulnerable are often most painfully aware of. I saw several therapists over the course of my teenhood and none of them had any idea why I was in therapy because I never talked about anything that I actually needed to talk about. I couldn't have. My confessions would have entailed a lawful breach of confidentiality to the very people who had fucked me up in the first place. This implement to supposedly "keep me safe" only ever ensured that I stayed silent. Silence was literally my only safe option—and unhealthy, unsafe communities, for most of my life, the only places I could confide in because the only ones who did not just parrot an empty "Talk to your parents or another adult you trust!" were other abused and mentally ill teens who needed just as much help as I did, yet were failed just as much as I was.

This is why I find it so gobsmacking when "mental health advocates" center openness with parents, or (in this case) when gender-criticals claim they want to protect dysphoric youth whilst also blindly advocating for parental inclusion in every nitty gritty detail of the child's mental health experience, or even when therapists claim to be creating a "safe space" for teenagers at all, period—because how can a space or a person be "safe" when we actively cater to the wishes of potentially unsafe people? When we are legally mandated, some of us, to do so? The message being communicated in this practice and belief system is, "You have the right to discretion until you are too mentally ill"—and if a mentally ill person feels like they have to toe a fine line, walk on eggshells, dumb down their feelings or experiences just so that whistles aren't blown to their abusers, the practice and belief system is set up for the abuser to benefit, whether deliberately or incidentally.

People cannot heal when they cannot even feel, or express what they are feeling, freely. By pushing for the rights of the parent to be considered above all else, we create an environment where youth cannot do any of this. We cannot claim to be supporting (or even caring about) this population at all when we play a direct role in why they are so vulnerable in the first place. Abuse victims—and especially abused youth—are way too often redirected back to their abuse by the very people who are supposed to help them grow from it under this idea that parents have an innate right of disclosure just by virtue of being a parent.

#over the weekend i kept thinking about how i went to a school for 'troubled teens'#and tracking with what is common in teens who are designated 'troubled'#a significant majority (3/4+) of us grew up in disadvantaged or unhealthy or flatout abusive homes #and unsurprisingly many of us also dealt with this through unhealthy channels #such as through truancy or (mild) drug use or self-injurious behaviour and holy fucking identity crises galore #none of which we went through any particular effort in hiding #yet despite all of this our social workers never relayed any of the information that we told them to others #not even to the rest of the staff #and at first this gave me pause even as a teenager #you know the whole 'if you know that we are struggling then why aren't you doing something?'#until one day it clicked:#the only other people these social workers could tell about our situations where 'something' could actually be done were our families #and our families were one of the main reasons WHY we were 'troubled' in the first place #what appeared from an outside perspective and even to myself at the time as 'doing nothing'#turned out to be the MOST that anyone had ever done for me and i'm sure for many of those other kids:#they gave us a space where we could express and feel and BE without worrying that it would somehow get back to our abusers #we could be exactly what we were there for—'troubled'—without being inundated with all of the tone deaf flowery crap #that traditional schools and the whole entire psychology field only ever had to offer us #everyone is all about harm reduction until young people are involved. THEN it becomes an issue of being open with parents.#as if the parents are ALWAYS there to reduce harm when you can get out from underneath your rock and learn even anecdotally #that this is completely untrue. even with many parents who are genuinely good parents.#but anyway again this post does not address every single nuance to the situation nor my beliefs. i'm just venting #just talking to myself #this is the part where i shut up because i'm not even upset from the trans angle anymore and my nihilist bullshit doesn't need to be on her #writing #text #my post

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dirty-bear-rick-sanchez · 7 months

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Episode thoughts under the cut

I loved Morty knowing Rick so well that he just straight up lies about the coffee lmao. Also the way he says 'hey buddy' like he's a dad entering his kid's room when they're in a depressive episode is so funny to me

Rick just literally saying 'family' to address the family

I thought the ghost/unfinished business joke was funny

I also love Rick being so petty (and Summer being petty back about the portal). It's so funny that he just calls the family 'stupids' as well. Devastating insult bro

Interesting that Gearhead was the first person he went to? He definitely needed someone to give him the courage to get the rest of his friends for an intervention (especially BP)

'Told you he wasn't dead' killed me

BIRDDAUGHTER. Funny name, love her being an emo teenage edgelord who just goes round killing Gromflomites. 'This is worse than prison'? Love it

Also I really liked that we got to see this side of BP's character this episode? He's so funny and I love getting to see him be a shit. Him trying to parent his daughter and just drinking wine? We love another alcoholic girldad

I really liked getting to see Rick/BP/Squanchy actually hanging out as well? I feel like it's a good insight into how they probably were back in the Flesh Curtains days

I like the 'birthday, birthday, birthday' gag

Also Rick immediately being like 'fuck this we're getting wrecked'

The honey scene was definitely for the Rickfuckers

Can we talk about the fact that Rick was definitely trying to impress BP by bringing up the fact that he hosted the Oscars? Which is definitely why he wanted that gig in the first place

Once again I love getting to see this side of Birdperson. Definitely makes sense why he and Rick get on so well

I liked the visual gag of Rick being high

Also BP and Squanchy playing the knife game lmao

Rick sits so fucking dramatically

Look at BP's face, he definitely wants to fuck that Predator guy

Son heist

I love that Rick can immediately identify Squanchy's shit based on the smell? Like he knows it's his and no one else's

BIRDPERSON PUTTING HIS HAND OVER RICK'S MOUTH

(You know Rick is gonna be thinking about that forever)

I like the recurring Squanchy tooth thing

'Why is this my thing' lmao

Poor poopy child

WAYNE

Them all just chilling together waiting for their drunk food? love it

I love BP leaving to collect his daughter from attacking a Federation outpost with the exact same energy as a parent collecting their child from school after they got suspended. It's so funny to imagine the GF having the same sort of vibe as they do with Rick and just texting BP like 'yo we got your daughter here' (I know that's not what happened but it's a funny mental image)

Lmao Squanchy

I did like the fading pill bit

Poor Gene

Overall I liked getting to explore this aspect of the dynamic between Rick/BP/Squanchy/Gearhead (+ the others of course but they're the OGs yk?) and also the concept of intervention/alcoholism. I think it's interesting to see that Rick does want to help but his support system is so fucked that this ends up happening and it makes a lot of sense when it comes to his own issues. I really like the way they handle Rick trying to get better and do the right thing but struggling so much to break out of unhealthy behaviours/habits. He's painfully aware of how fucked up he is and how much of a bad influence he is but he doesn't know how to fix the issue/be a positive influence and he definitely views abandonment as a good thing because he's removing himself from the situation. Very interesting way to explore this aspect of his issues, especially since all his friends are also alcoholics with that level of denial/refusal to get better

I had this discussion with @hazelnut-u-out before the episode aired but I do like that they're showing Mr PB directly suffering as a result of Rick's actions in canon? Considering that he started as a joke/meta character it's very interesting to show him actually shifting to more of a serious character who appears in the actual show and experiences real issues, especially since the show becomes less and less sitcom-y as Rick becomes more aware of the reality of how fucked up all of these things are.

#rick and morty #rnm #rick and morty spoilers #rnm spoilers #how poopy got his poop back #rick sanchez #birdperson #birdrick #mr poopybutthole #squanchy #gearhead #gene the neighbour #sorry this is all over the place #i really want to post/engage with fandom about the new eps but my energy levels are very limited and i have bad brain fog #so this is the best i can do 😅#i hope to make a more coherent post about the oscars thing and also mr poopybutthole as a symbol of rick's view of his life as a tv show #but we'll have to wait and see

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autisticlifelessons · 7 months

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Tips from an autistic teacher about communicating with education professionals

So, some context: I taught Primary for 1 year, and had lots of interactions with parents with all kinds of concerns about their kids. I also remember being in high school and college/university and being too nervous to approach my teachers/tutors with any problems I had until the situation was dire.

For those who don't work in education, I can appreciate how needing to speak to your child's teacher about something can be intimidating, especially if your and/or your child are neurodivergent. And if you are a student, it can be equally as scary.

It's true many teachers are overworked and underpaid, but the vast VAST majority would move heaven and earth to help you. However, there are lots of things you can do to help them to help you, so here are my top tips.

Tell them ASAP if there is a problem - alerting the teacher to a problem or concern as soon as it arises gives them the chance to nip it in the bud before it becomes a big deal. If there is a bullying concern or something you don't understand, they would much rather you told them straight away so they can do something about it than have you or your child suffering in silence for weeks or months. We are generally an observant bunch and are looking out for issues, but some things do fly under the radar. Even if it's not something they can do anything about straight away - like if you think your child is showing signs of autism or adhd but they mask heavily at school - they can bear this in mind and pass it onto other relevant members of staff so it is 'flagged' up for the future.

If your issue is complicated, be sure to put it in writing - chances are you have access to a messaging service or at least an email address. Even if you have raised your concern with the teacher face to face, having it in writing is helpful for both parties. It provides a record that the issue has been raised and passed along as appropriate, and it helps remind the teacher about what has been discussed so they don't end up forgetting about it among the million other things they have to do.

Be specific - it may seem obvious, but there is no point in having a casual chat and then throwing in a bombshell at the end. Make sure to give as much relevant detail as you can about what your issue is, and if you want to raise multiple concerns then it is doubly beneficial to put them in writing.

Think about what your desired outcome is and come with a proposed solution - this is a psychological thing, apparently, but people are more likely to be sympathetic to your concerns if you can demonstrate you have thought about how you would like it resolved. If you want your child put forward for an autism assessment, make sure you actually say this. If you know you are going to be late handing in an assignment but can give your teacher an alternative date you will hand it in, tell them this. I can't guarantee they will always be able to fulfil it, but knowing what you would like to change or happen makes it much easier to sort things out rather than just guessing.

IF THERE'S SOMETHING GOING ON OUTSIDE OF SCHOOL THAT'S HAVING A NEGATIVE IMPACT, TELL THEM!!! - I CANNOT stress this enough, especially when it comes to little ones or neurodivergent children who may have limited means of both communication and emotional regulation. Being hungry, tired, stressed etc can have an enormous impact on behaviour/ability to learn. Even a simple message or email giving the heads up your child has had a poor night's sleep because the house flooded or whatever and might be a bit grumpy that day can be a huge help to the teacher, who as a result of having this information will be in a better position to be patient with a child who is struggling. For bigger life changes such as divorce, birth of a new sibling etc, this is even more important so that your child's teacher and the school can, if necessary, put measures in place to support your child through this transition. Communication really is key.

Remember to be kind and considerate - teachers are humans and make mistakes like everyone else. Equally, there are many circumstances they have to deal with that are totally out of their control and frustrate them just as much as they do you. As I said at the beginning, the vast majority want to help you and/or your child in any way they can, and being kind can make what is a very stressful job just that little bit less.

So, there you have it! I hope these tips gave you an idea for how to communicate with teachers effectively.

Oh, here's 1 more bonus tip - if you have anything to ask that is more than just a quick question, be sure to schedule a meeting with the teacher to ensure they can devote enough time to deal with your issue. Catching them at the beginning or end of the school day generally isn't a good idea as they're very chaotic times and they likely have other meetings/appointments/deadlines they will be thinking about.

Your support is much appreciated xx

#autism #actually autistic #college #teacher things #education #neurodivergent #neurodiversity #parenting #children #communication #school #high school #homework #autistic #autistic tips #advice #autism parenting #autistic parent

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lovelykhaleesiii · 5 months

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I have been going back and forth in posting this, but want to have a clean slate and a clear mind going forward.

this fandom if I am being honest (and from experience in many others) has been the most roller coaster ride. it has been wonderful and blossoming, yet also, toxic and disheartening…

my current state right now, I feel as though I have been shunned from the community from all corners. stranded alone, with only a few friends (I could count them on one hand) to talk to and to trust.

I have been incredibly disappointed in this fandom by people I had considered friends, people that I believed to be sincere and kind, but over time showed a very different and ugly side.

I am not going to sugar coat this topic anymore… and be warned, I will call you out if need be, from this point on. I always had hopes that as a community mostly dominated by adults, we would act more like it, but it seems not. then accountability is necessary, because this school yard behaviour is not it.

I work most of the time, I barely even have time for a social life on top of personal things… tumblr is not my priority. but when I log in on here, I do wish and intend for this to be a space where I can relax and enjoy myself, to be creative and write and share my ideas and stories. to interact with people, to bond over characters and stories that I don’t ever get the chance to in real life, because I barely meet people with similar interests.

this is meant to be my safe haven.

recently it has been quite the opposite…

I have been gaslit, bullied & ghosted/neglected. as someone who genuinely struggles to put herself out there, I have made attempts that I am thankful for yet hurt by the experiences. putting myself in discord chats only to leave in the matter of a few days…

I have said this before and I will say it again. If I ever say anything to you directly or indirectly, and it doesn’t sit right with you. I am open to talk privately about it. I am not perfect, in fact far from it. I have flaws as do we all. I can make mistakes, I am human. if the matter can be resolved, amazing, if not: I don’t expect to get along with EVERYONE on this hellsite. the block and unfollow options are there for a reason!!!

regardless, I understand everyone has their own personal lives and issues… believe me, I DO! I am a huge advocate for life > tumblr. you need a break, take the break. you want to go on hiatus, go on hiatus. you do not owe anyone in this fandom shit, as I have reminded myself as of late. In saying that, showing people common courtesy and decency is not by any means a stretch, it should be the bare minimum.

showing support to your fanfic authors/gif makers and creators is valid and ideal.

I have taken multiple breaks because the stress and exhaustion from my work and personal life has been a lot, that I am able to remove myself from a situation, to not allow anyone else to suffer my ordeal. your actions have repercussions, and you will be held accountable.

to wrap it all up, I will continue to write my little, silly stories, I will continue to read fics. However, I have of recent been so turned off by some of the people in this community, that if I’m being honest (which I also strongly advocate for, and believe I owe whoever read this that), I have no energy to interact with people that have crossed me and made me feel less of the person I am at this point in time. my friends who I respect and admire dearly, know who they are, I don’t need to tell them twice.

when I feel comfortable with this fandom, my interactions may change, but for now. I very much enjoy my small number of friends.

thank you to those who read this entire mouthful, I genuinely appreciate the small things and taking the time out of YOUR day to read and listen to little old me, says a lot.

please take care of yourselves, and I hope that we can create a better more wholesome fandom space.

love always, Hel 🤍

#rant #personal #thank you to anyone who reads this entire thing #I hope you have a wonderful fucking day

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aritany · 3 months

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what's the origin story for dgdss? if you don't mind 🥺

oho! well. as it happens, i love telling this story.

if you want to know how my childhood best friend writing a short story about me ended up leading to me getting a big 5 book deal, read on.

tw for reference to self harm and some...... unpleasant commentary (not mine) about it later on, folks.

so.

i was homeschooled until my very last year of high school (yes, like mean girls, except my mean girl dominated the first 15 years of my life and that last year was just blissfully chill) and like many homeschooled children, i was a part of a co-op.

cool, right? it's like School Lite™ where you put a group of feral children in a classroom, except you're all varying ages and grade levels, and also, nobody in the room is an accredited teacher, and nobody seems to have an issue with this.

my mom and her mom were best friends, and we were born around the same time, so naturally, we were best friends too from birth, and we were part of the same co-op all through my elementary and junior high school years.

anyway. i won't air all of the dirty laundry regarding our early friendship, because the whole book deal thing doesn't touch it, and i also think there's no need to be pointing out the behaviour of an Actual Child in retrospect. all you need to know is that we were best friends, our relationship was fraught, and by the time we hit 12-13 it was to the degree that people started telling me, hey man, this is Very Strange Behaviour and You Might Be A Victim, and i had to go do some introspection.

the introspection led to the general conclusion oh shit, but we stayed friends, because obviously. when you're 13, breaking up with a best friend is literally The End of the world, and anyway, there was a lot of good in there too, right?

right?

anyway, things took a turn when we were about 14. i struggled heavily with mental illness and self harm as a closeted religious teenager (who'da thunk?) and i confided in her about a small fraction of what was going on, because she was my best friend. i didn't tell her details, because even then i knew what i was experiencing was heavier than was probably appropriate to burden another kid with (and i stand by it!), but she knew the gist.

several Tense moments resulted, one of which was the day she pointed out self harm scarring in front of other people and asked me what happened, ran away, and refused to talk further about it, so i had to talk to her mom, who told me i should apologize to her, considering my mental health struggle had been so difficult... for her.

yeah, you know the type of people we're dealing with, here.

she was determined to undermine me in front of our mutual friends. anything to make me look worse, in one way or another. anything to step just a little higher. if i was interested in something, here's a public dissertation on why it's a dumb thing to be interested in. if i had a crush, forget keeping it a secret, and forget the notion that it's normal, because it's not, it's stupid, and shallow to have a crush in the first place. if we had a similar interest, here's a dressing down about how all i ever do is steal the things she likes (even if i liked them first).

needless to say, by the time the whole deal with the short story is going down a few short years later, we're on the rocks.

let me set the scene. we hadn't seen each other in several months, due to the On The Rocks of it all, and were meeting up for coffee while our moms were also getting coffee. hashtag classic homeschooled behavior, etc.

we're catching up, and she tells me she needs to apologize for something. i am, as you might imagine, agog, considering the rarity of apologies from this girl. she tells me she wrote a short story and submitted it to her university journal to be published, and that in hindsight she thinks she should have asked for my permission first.

i am, obviously, suspicious. to her credit, she gives it to me to read through and then leaves to go do christmas shopping. it's a muddy-ish faux-deep piece about a narrator who has a best friend struggling with mental illness and self harm.

(oh, you might say. to which i say, yeeeeah.)

in the story, the narrator depicts the struggle of trying to care about somebody who is in pain, referring to the best friend as 'cariad' the whole way through, which is just so weird i'm not even going to touch on it. google it if you'd like. the line that i still remember (and will probably remember until the day i die) is the one where she describes her cariad as feeling the need to use a razor as a microphone.

i honestly don't recall what i said when she eventually came back, but i contained all of the aggression of a piece of pocket lint at the time, so i imagine it was along the lines of oh. yeah, okay. [insert image of the saddest wettest cat you've ever seen]

i never saw her again. we went our separate ways, and that was that. we never talked about it.

(the one upside of it was that my mom, with whom i have a Notoriously Contentious relationship, was outraged on my behalf. that was the first (in many years) and last (ever) time we were on the same side of a battle, so, you know. silver linings.)

but the real indignity of it to me was that my friend never really knew. i never really told her about what was happening in my head. she never knew why i was hurting myself, or how bad it got, because i did everything i could to keep that to myself, and at the end of the day, she thought it was all for attention to the degree she wrote a transparently biographical account of it and chose razor as a microphone as a phrase on purpose.

dead girls started as a way to process the complicated feelings i had about that friendship and then obviously ultimately became a whole different creature in the process. i wanted to write about how it felt to go through that never having had another close friendship to compare it to, and how confusing and nauseating it was to have other people point out shitty behaviour.

it became about healing when you can't get closure. how do you move on when you'll never know why somebody hurt you?

nothing that happens in the book is based on real life events between us, partly because i'm not a hypocrite, and partly because if your work can be traced back to your personal experiences, perhaps you should do what you can to be kind.

'my julia,' as i like to call her (she is not named julia, because, oh my god) is nothing like julia hoskins in appearance or general personality. but the way she made me feel? oh, that's all there. nora feels it the way i felt it.

i wrote dead girls back in 2020, and got agented with it in 3 weeks of sending my first query. we got a book deal for it with a penguin random house imprint 1 year later to the day, and next week it's going to be out in the world, and i'm not going to lie, it feels really damn good.

also, her short story got rejected by her university, because it was bad. so you might lose some, but you win some, too.

#alex talks #storytime with alex #dead girls don't say sorry #dgdss #toxic friendships amiright

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lily-orchard · 3 months

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Courtney claims she kept accusing your father of enjoying hitting you until he stopped using spanking as a punishment. I don't know how true that is, but I'm wondering if there was any similar action taken to stop him spanking her. She claims she only got hit twice.

If Courtney ever stood up for me, she did it when I couldn't see it. My parents themselves make the same claim, that they supposedly argued about several of my suspensions from school. Conveniently, I was never around when this happened.

I only saw it happen once in 5th Grade when I was sent home, was walking home, and the principal was following me in his van demanding I get in (which is actually really fucked up now that I'm thinking about it, no wonder my mother screamed at him).

Other than that, I doubt Courtney's sincerity. The last time I was ever spanked was when I was eleven, because my father was convinced I had purposefully caused a burn in the carpet.

Ironically what kept Courtney from getting spanked was me. I didn't actively get in the way, just that if she did something that would have provoked violence or even screaming, my father usually just assumed I had done it instead.

The truth of the matter is that my father always had a scapegoat. Before it was me, it was my brother. He was ALWAYS getting into these petty power struggles with my brother that often ended in fistfights. My father raised his three children to be like him. So they were rude, they were nasty, they were combative, and reacted very poorly to other people pushing them around. And he was the one pushing them around.

Part of my father's damage is that his father treated his kids like shit on the basis that "It's my house and when you have your house you can call that shots." So he clearly looked forward to being King of the Castle. And when his children routinely responded very negatively to his "Fuck you I do what I want" attitude, in his mind a very personal slight had occurred because some unspoken deal had been broken.

I talked about this in the Turning Red video. Parenting isn't logical, it's ideological (did you like that sentence? I thought it flowed rather well). It's not about whether something works. It SHOULD work, and that's all that matters.

Spanking children SHOULD work, and if it doesn't you just didn't spank them hard enough.

Remember that guy who got so angry that his daughter complained about him on Facebook so he filmed himself shooting her laptop? That's the kind of nutcase we're talking about. Someone who throws a mantrum when a teenage girl bitches about him.

The reality is my parents wheeled me into every single doctor they could find trying to fix my behavioural issues. And it didn't work. Even when I saw huge progress in the inpatient facility, once I got back home I was right back to being rude and disrespectful.

Because the truth is no amount of medication or therapy is going to make you respect someone who has a completely unlikeable personality.

The core fundamental problem in the house is that my parents were complete cunts. And they wanted their kids to just ignore that and respect them anyway. But nobody ever respects someone who behaves the way they did. And no amount of demanding respect is going to warp reality and make you respectable.

You can yammer on about how you own the house and pay the mortgage, but children have no concept of what those are. What they do know is you're mean, so they don't have to be nice to you. Because that is 90% of the lessons we teach children.

But none of this computes to a man whose entire worldview is "He who owns the house is entitled to treat the occupants like shit." In his world, he was entitled to do these things, and you weren't entitled to complain about it. But we don't live in his world.

#lily orchard #courtney peet #courtney orchard #brittany johnson #britts galaxy brain #lily orchard drama #lily orchard discourse #stalking #harassment

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goblintoothfairy · 2 months

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I've just started working with teenagers who come from rough backgrounds, have mental health and behavioural issues, and struggle to stay in school. A couple of the boys can be pretty bigoted - racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic, you name it - but one especially is.

We took a few of them out to do some activities and had a pretty fun day. This kid who didn't know that I'm queer and trans was saying all day about how he liked me. Then he gets back to the centre and out of nowhere starts talking about how he hates gay people, how he beat up his brother for being gay and how it's not natural.

So I sat down with him and we talked about it. I listened to him say a bunch of slurs and spout more homophobic shit before telling him that I'm not straight.

I didn't know how he'd react - a few people thought he might get violent. But he listened, and asked questions. About my identity, about when I 'chose' to be gay, all of that.

We talked for a while, and he concluded that he was OK with lesbians existing but he was still disgusted by gay men. Evidently we've still got some work to do on that. Then he said: "But I hate trannies, though."

I didn't know how to react for a second. I hadn't planned on coming out to him - I didn't think I could do it safely, partly because of his beliefs and partly because of wider attitudes about trans people in the UK at the moment. But I told him: "I'm trans, actually."

He put his head in his hands and seemed embarrassed. Good. His mate looked at him and asked why he decided to say that.

And surprisingly this kid listened to me again, and genuinely seemed to want to have a discussion with me. He told me about his beliefs about trans people and I heard him out, and then challenged them. I talked to him about dysphoria: "how would you feel if you woke up with tits tomorrow?" We discussed my nonbinary identity (predictably, he made an attack helicopter joke). And I told him about how I don't feel safe at night because of being trans - something he could relate to, in a sense, cause these kids deal with a lot of violence.

Sure, he was still saying a bunch of homophobic and transphobic stuff. But he told me that even though he doesn't like queer people, he likes me. And I think that that cognitive dissonance alone could spark a change of attitude in him. It's going to take time, and a lot more conversations. But I have faith in him, I think, and I'm proud of him for sitting down and talking with me.

It's really fucking scary being a trans person in education right now. Hearing about the education guidance targeting trans kids, reading all of the TERF rhetoric in the news and on social media, hearing about all of the shit going on in the US... It's enough to make you want to quit, and I don't blame queer educators for quitting. But even though it can be shit being the unofficial representative of your entire community, I'm honoured that I can be here and hopefully, eventually, change some of these kids' minds.

#trans #transgender #education #queer education #lgbtq #queer #lgbt #tw transphobia #tw transphobes #nonbinary #uk education #schools #teachers #teaching #personal #tw homophobia

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doodlegirl1998 · 11 months

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I don't get the hate all might recieves from this fickle fandom while Aizawa gets praised over the moon.

Yes All might have told izuku to give up first but I don't see anything wrong now or even when I first watched season 1. The man has more experience and has already seen his fair share of cruelty over the years. He knows the difficulty of being a Hero with a quirk and even with all of that power, It took him losing his stomach to beat AFO. All might was being realistic here. He didn't want to be reckless & give false hope or encouragement here. Also he didn't laugh or outright tell him to quit. He told izuku who had no power to try other ways to become a Hero which was being a policeman.

2nd what did izuku do before meeting all might?. Absolutely nothing. On top of being quirkless He didn't have a strong physique to back it up. Sure he wrote analysis on quirks, heroes and villains but that's not gonna help in the longer run. All Might wouldn't know what Izuku would've gone through in life till this point. He doesn't know izuku was suicide baited. I'm not bashing Izuku but trying to see this from AM's side as well. Maybe he could've seen Izuku's behaviour to determine that the kid was abused but then again the man was also in a hurry and probably wasn't in the right frame of mind after displaying his long kept secret to a middle school kid.

Still All Might fckin apologized for his earlier comments and approved Izuku. He helped izuku get in shape, and gave his quirk. Encouraged him time and time again positively.

Wtf did Aizawa do? Ridiculed Midoriya infront of everyone. Never apologized. Never once supported him and always put izuku's abuser on a pedestal. Heck izuku should've been in top 10 in the apprehension test. He had better physical stats than Denki, Jiro, uraraka ( yeah she wasn't OP with her quirk during that time and had a lot of stamina issues), Koji, Mineta, Toru, Ashido to name some. Are we sure Aizawa didn't rig the exam?. Narrative protected that POS. Never once encouraged Izuku, never helped him when he was struggling with his quirk. Never even bothered to train his students in quirkless combat but went out of his way to tutor Shinso. His only good points are being a good hero and a good gaurdian for Eri but that ain't enough for getting this much praise. He knew Iida was going after Stain but didn't do anything.

All Might has flaws being a teacher but he at least tries his best to help Izuku with his problems and always been there for him. He encouraged his students every time. Trains them and has always been there for them unlike a certain someone.

All of All Might's good points outweigh Aizawa's by a higher margin.

End of my rant, i just see this as too unfair how fanfics bash All might for no fuckin reason while it coddles Aizawa. Especially the Dekuverse fics. Heck Hori himself treats All Might like shit in canon. The Izuku solo arc is a good proof.

All Might deserved better both in Canon and in Fanon.

Hi @bakutrash 👋,

I get it in the sense that the fandom follows suit of what the story itself is doing - AM gets critiqued more than Aizawa by the narrative (since Aizawa is Hori's favoured mouthpiece) and the fandom follows suit.

Dadzawa as a trope is also largely wish fulfilment. The wish to see 1A as a family and the wish to see Aizawa as the 'stern mentor/ father figure with a heart of gold' archetype. When Aizawa is not this - especially not to Izuku.

If anything All Might is Izuku's key mentor / father figure in the story. He made his mistakes in regard to Izuku but made up for them and apologised. AM also does his best to learn how to be a teacher and be supportive to Izuku and take care of him. Aizawa never does and Hori parades all of his actions as logical so the fandom (at large) doesn't critique him for them.

All Might is traumatised but Hori rarely focuses on it (unlike Aizawa's trauma), so it gives him less sympathy and exploration from it by the fans.

All Might fought a battle only his power in OFA could win. It was quirkless Izuku acting to save Bakugou that made All Might aware that Izuku had potential and that he shouldn't have been so hasty to judge him. All Might also didn't know Izuku took to analysis and suggested alternatives to heroics he felt more suited to a quirkless person.

Adding to this, All Might also began Quirkless himself so it's unlikely he would actually hold extreme Quirkist views like I've seen in some bashing fics (actually looking at Canon Aizawa displays more quirkest attitudes than All Might*.)

Yet the majority of the fandom focuses on All Might's intial refusal of Izuku's dreams and scapegoat him for Izuku's lack of self worth. - The narrative does this too, disgustingly through Bakugou's mouth, not acknowledging once that Bakugou and poor Teachers to Izuku (like Aizawa) are the cause of it.

Did Aizawa rig the exam? I think (and a lot of others critical of Aizawa) think he did. As you rightly pointed out Izuku should have been higher in the quirk apprehension test than he did (especially since he trained religiously and followed a training plan made by the Number One hero for months!)

Unironically, Aizawa at the beginning of the story seemed to dislike Midoriya, and consistently he has favoured Bakugou over him (more on this point later.)

He also viewed Bakugou's bullying as a "rivalry."

Why is this?

Other than the actual reason - Aizawa is Hori's Mouthpiece and therefore have him be Bkg's biggest simp to try to make us like him - there are two options.

1) Aizawa is either not as observant as he thinks he is (supported by him falling asleep all the time - so obviously by doing this he would miss things.) 2) OR Aizawa is malicious and thinks Midoriya needs to toughen up and deal with his bully like he did.

Neither of these options make Aizawa look particularly good. But 1) has room for growth and 2) does not.

Where is the logic in the Quirk Apprehension test? It favours those quirks that Aizawa claims he dislikes that the entrance exam favours - those flashy and combattive quirks such as the ones that belong to Bakugou, Todoroki and Yaoyorozo.

Additionally, singling out Izuku like that, on the first day would be realistically massively damaging to a student and to the classes morale overall.

Would you be comfortable with a 'third parent' (as these homeroom teachers are meant to be) or a teacher in general who does that to a classmate or to you the second they show they need some help? I wouldn't be...

Where is the logic in favouring Bakugou (who essentially a worse version of Aizawa's bully at U.A - Sensoji) or Shinsou who didn't work for his dream of Heroism and only attempted to skate in on his powerful quirk? These should both be characters that Aizawa (from what we are narratively told about him) dislike. Yet Hori does not allow this to occur as Aizawa is Hori's favoured mouthpiece and Hori wants him to have a mini me in Shinsou.

*- There appears to be a degree of quirkism ironically at play here. Bakugou is favoured because he is confident and has a quirk that is "perfect for heroics".

Whereas Shinsou is favoured because Aizawa sees someone like himself. The other students - Aizawa isn't shown to care all that much (aside from the additional to the story artworks.)

And as for Eri, Aizawa seems to care for her but honestly we don't see her nearly enough to judge whether he's actually a good guardian. There's also the fact of Aizawa seeming to struggle to take care of himself and how he treats his students so realistically, would he be a good guardian to her?

In universe, in spite of all logic, Aizawa has apparently been teaching as 'hardass ExpellZawa' for years without consequence - against himself or UA as an institution .

And Aizawa has never once reflected on the long term damage that all of his trauma response methods would do on all his students - not just the ones he expelled.

Hori never even had Aizawa question himself at any point - because the fact that he's Hori's mouthpiece means Aizawa is never meant to be wrong so he never believes himself to be. That stunts him as a character.

Even the revelation of Kurogiri as KurOboro didn't make him do this.

Aizawa, as he is in canon, is heavily traumatised, too set in his ways and too much of a mouthpiece for Hori. Hori also either doesn't see the point of or the interest in having Aizawa grow from his mistakes and heal from his trauma - which is a shame.

Whereas All Might, as he is in canon, is also heavily traumatised, has been crapped all over by Hori but is shown to do his best in learning and growing from his mistakes - both as a teacher and mentor to Izuku.

Final thoughts:

Sorry I responded with a rant of my own!

Personally, I find Dadzawa fine in a fic, as long as it has DadMight too OR has Aizawa make up for his mistakes to the class and grow as a mentor.

However, as time has gone on and I've got more into MHA, I find it really irritates me to see a fic bash All Might. Especially using Aizawa to do so, when in canon Aizawa has done much worse as a teacher - especially to Izuku and his past classes.

I stand by the opinion that although Canon!Aizawa may care for Class 1A as he currently acts - he should not be a homeroom teacher or have his trauma responses be praised as 'logical teaching.'

#anti bakugou katsuki #anti bakugou #Anti Aizawa Shota #mha critical #Aizawa Shota critical #Bnha critical #Aizawa critical #Shinsou Hitoshi critical #Give expellzawa a therapy and recovery arc #He should not be a teacher as he is #But he deserves to heal from his trauma

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donewiththisshitplsstop · 2 years

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Funny how George running to assist Zhou Guanyu is making you gain respect for him, and Lewis staying quiet after Abu Dhabi made you respect him. But your guy doesn't say ableist slurs for a year and suddenly he's so mature. Funny how George is a Tory and Lando is a gamer boy despite Lando being the rich white boy who probably went to private school. Funny how people hated Valtteri when he was in Mercedes (Not just toxic LH/Merc fans - a whole bunch of F1 fans just did not like him) but then he went to Alfa Romeo and suddenly he's a good one. Funny how Alex complained about an issue with his Redbull and all the commentators thought it was amusing but then when Max says something they go all serious - why won't you listen to the voice of a POC. Funny how Pascal Wehrlein was too high maintenance for F1 and then people had to come out and say they don't know why he has that reputation because he's just a nice person. Funny how Kobayashi's racing was Kamikaze style and just too aggressive but someone gets away with a brake check and running someone off the track. Funny how Yuki screaming into his team radios is aggressive and Kimi doing it is funny and iconic and 'Just Kimi'. Funny how 7-times champion of the world isn't worth his £50 million salary and there were talks of adding a drivers salary cap but then a certain RBR driver is worth the exact same and no one ever thought that a cap was needed. Funny how Zhou Guanyu needed to have a crash for people to sympathise with him because before they were all talking about how we didn't need a driver from China in F1.

So funny.

Edit: Funny how Toto saying RBR influenced the stewards and race directors is disrespectful but Christian saying girls watch F1 for the good looking drivers is true and Helmut and Christian accusing Lewis of purposefully crashing and faking injuries after Monza and accusing him of performance enhancing drugs is peak shithousery.

Edit 2: Funny how people use POC discrimination to defend their racial abuse defending driver and Nelson Piquet. Funny how people decided to see Zhou Guanyu talk about the discrimination he recieved and stayed quiet about it despite attempting to berate us for not saying anything. Funny how they want us to call out shitty behaviour but then when we call out their drivers use of ableist slurs we're the villains. Funny how people bought up POC struggles as some sort of bargaining chip to defend their driver all the while telling us that we're hypocrites. This one because of @holdmyhopeinyourhands and their anon.

Gosh there must be so much other examples of the double standards within F1 and the fandom that I haven't even mentioned. And ain't that disgusting, I have a whole paragraph of lists and there's so much more.

#f1 #george russell #lewis hamilton #zhou guanyu #valtteri bottas #kamui kobayashi #yuki tsunoda #pascal wehrlein #alex albon #christian horner #toto wolff #helmut marko

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pristinekanesays · 1 year

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🦋 Life Is Strange: Mental Health Headcanons

🦋 warnings: heavy topics, mentions of psychical and verbal abuse, mentions of mental illness, kate's suicide attempt, a gif of warren beating the shit out of nathan which is funny to me, mentions of my literal enemy mark jefferson

🎧 A/N: I was feeling a little silly, goofy even. This idea popped into my head as I was writing some relationship headcanons but I decided to write this instead, the relationship headcanons will be out later today though probably or tomorrow. ツ (this took like 9 hours)

🦋 Chloe Price:

💾 An attachment to Rachel who turned out to be just really only leading her on and giving her false hope, a dead father who she keeps seeing in her brutal nightmares, an abusive stepfather who we see hit her after a certain choice and has probably hit her before on several occasions, a mother who rarely takes her side and a best friend that's dipped only to come back and not tell her.

📼Her emotions can change in a split second from 0% to 100% almost immediately, she's seen smoking which she probably uses to drift away from reality and ease the way she feels.

📝I think that from research and playing the game that Chloe has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), from her trust and abandonment issues, being unable to take control of her emotions and the meltdown she had in Chaos Theory.

🍂Kate Marsh:

💾 Kate is so deeply traumatized by what Nathan did to her, drugging her and promising that he'll take her to a hospital (he lied to her, he's an asshole). Only for Victoria to spread a video of her kissing complete strangers for the whole school, town and her extremely religious family to see.

📼Her room is unclean and messy, things are spread across the floor including books and clothes, when she's at her desk she looks noticeably tired with red, puffy eyes from crying. Inside her room, it's dark and her mirror is covered up (afraid to look at herself, i think she's beautiful by the way.) When she's on the roof threatening to jump, she's correct that we don't know her mother but she apparently thinks that Kate is already on her way to hell.

📝I think from how her behaviour is in the game that she has Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) & Depression.

📷 Max Caulfield:

💾 She's gone through hell and back, watching her best friend get shot and finding out that she has literal powers that can rewind time. Then having to rewind and save Kate's life, rewinding to stop Victoria from going to Mark Jefferson and ending up in the dark room, saving Chloe from getting killed by a train and shot by Mark, finding Rachel's dead body and ending up in the dark room herself.

📼Max seems to be pretty socially awkward and just focuses on photography entirely, she probably struggles making friends and communicating with others.

📝I think that Max has Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD), from her tending to avoid certain social decisions and her problems communicating with other people. Also, she could possibly have Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) after the Life Is Strange events take place, from her time in the dark room and constantly having to rewind and save Chloe's life.

🎭Rachel Amber:

💾 Rachel sort of has to have everyone's eyes on her, you know? The popular girl that everyone knows, especially after she goes missing. Finding out that her dad's cheating on her mom, who turns out to actually not be her biological mother, that shit would fuck with anyone's head.

📼She's described as a huge flirt from the way she acts with Frank and Chloe but she's leading them both on at the same time, putting a huge strain on both of their relationships. Chloe's convinced that Frank is a huge creep (a little) especially since he has her bracelet but Chloe refuses to believe that Rachel would have did that to her. (going behind her back, lying to her.)

📝Histrionic Personality Disorder (HPD), it seems to describe her and her behaviour pretty well. Her emotions, her powers , how she started a whole fucking wildfire and her very unhealthy behaviour.

🎬 Victoria Chase:

💾 The Queen Bee! It's obvious that she was born into a wealthy family due to her expensive jewellery, clothes and very expensive camera equipment. (I see why Nathan and Victoria get along, they're both rich people who slightly get on my nerves.)

📼From what she said to Max, it's obvious that she's jealous of her and probably afraid she'll take the spotlight or her place probably. She wants to be liked, the center of attention and if she isn't then she'll have a fucking fit. (I'm gonna have a BF, a bitch fit!) It's also obvious that she's very close with Nathan and aware of his unstable behaviour, their relationship can be seen as romantic or just friends. (i don't ship them, more like brother & sister.)

📝It says on her profile that she could possibly have Histrionic Personality Disorder (HPD), seductive behaviour, self-centeredness and constantly seeking reassurance or approval.

🎮 Warren Graham:

💾 It's my favourite dork! He's literally 16 and in a school specifically for seniors, smart much? It's said that he probably advanced a couple grades on his profile due to him being pretty smart.

📼He's seen a few times fidgeting around, he's literally unable to stay still apart from when he's getting his picture taken. He acts without thinking like how he beat Nathan Prescott's ass (twice) and I get the vibe he'd also struggle focusing on certain tasks.

📝I couldn't find anything on Warren but personally i think he has Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) from what I said earlier, he's unable to stay still, acts without thinking and struggles focusing on certain tasks. (like loving me back)

🧨 Nathan Prescott:

💾 He's a horrible person and I don't defend this man but I do feel bad for him, physically and verbally abused by his own father, used by Mark Jefferson all because he's rich and easy to manipulate. He went down all the dark paths in the world for a fucked up dickhead (i literally despise mark jefferson, i will beat his ass.)

📼It's obvious he's mentally unstable and everyone around him knows, they just don't care except for his therapist. It's heavily implied that he suffers from paranoia, anxiety and psychosis. From his scary ass drawings and a letter from his therapist directed towards his father detailing how Nathan is `disconnected from reality`.

📝Nathan is confirmed to have Bipolar Disorder and Schizophrenia from the medicine (Risperidone, from his profile) that he takes which is used to treat both of those things. And possibly, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) which could have been brought on by the abuse he endures from his father. (i'll beat his ass as well.)

#🤍kane's headcanons #nathan prescott x reader #kate marsh x reader #victoria chase x reader #max caulfield x reader #chloe price x fem!reader #rachel amber x reader #warren graham x reader #lis headcanons #life is strange headcanons

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identitty-dickruption · 1 month

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here for questions as it was invited by your post, and thank you because this topic is important to me i want to focus this on addiction but i want to admit that as a full grown adult who went to collage for psychology, worked in special needs and nursing homes so has seen a wide array of neurodivergencies in very intimate and real ways, AND as someone who has adhd and is partners with someone who was a higher needs autistic in their school days- i feel like i dont fully understand the strict differences between terms like i want to and the grey area really dose make my head spin often but in regards to addiction and how i experience it differently because in a way i feel an almost "immunity" with how my executive dysfunction can translate to "not able to maintain a pattern regardless if it is a constructive habit or addiction" watching my father struggle with alcoholism and it really takeing its always sunny to wake up to the fact that he even was one, i really want to understand what it means to be addicted better is it defined by its sunk cost? emotional emptiness? the damage done outward to others? or is it just the pattern. the way that i experience a hyper fixation with my adhd feels distinctive enough to prove that i can differentiate the two concepts per the entire point of your post, and then there are just paradigm shifts like how the only thing ive been accused of being addicted to has been "the computer" 20 years ago when we still had dial up. but ive been a strong advocate to how web designs especially for cell phones play into addictive tendencies with the biggest being short form content with the slot machine endless scroll feature. so the dangers TRUE addiction poses a unique threat in the attention economy functions today with tec and also how easy it is to get trapped in a social bubble making traditionally understood as addictive substances form even more tight knit communities to enable people and never realize they could be helped. its a problem i want to be vigilant of in myself and always help those i love through where it comes so i hope this message wasnt too long or overbearing i just am glad to see someone who knows firsthand about it who might be willing to talk more about it for education.

okay I finished answering this only for tumblr to reload and lose my progress so sorry if this comes across as overly abrupt. I’m not upset at you but I sure am upset at tumblr!

addiction is a complicated and multi-faceted issue. it’s not just the frequency of substance use and it’s not just the impact to life, it’s a lot of different things all at once. addiction tends to be broken into three parts: physical dependency, emotional dependency, and impact on life

physical dependency is your body becoming reliant on the substance. this looks like physical withdrawal symptoms (e.g. the shakes, dizziness, fatigue, nausea, etc)

emotional dependency is the result of extended use of a substance as a coping mechanism. this means that anything the substance was helping to cope with is going to come up in full force (along with added anxiety and anger from not having access to the substance)

impact to life really depends on the person, but this is all the external influences of addiction. struggling with employment, struggling with relationships, struggling to look after yourself and others, etc

all of these things will look different for different people and different substances. I am always wary of people trying to apply an addiction framework to non-substance use addictions. evidence around behavioural addictions is sketchy at best, and just do not have many of the features of addiction that I’ve struggled with the most

out of everything, the mechanisms of addiction are most similar to OCD, but with the additional challenges of physical dependency. for those who don’t know, the obsessive compulsive cycle is:

trigger

intrusive thought

obsessive thinking

compulsive behaviour

it’s a cycle because the more you do the compulsive behaviour, the harder it becomes to cope with that initial trigger in a healthy way. and that’s kinda how addiction functions, too. it just so happens that the compulsive behaviour is substance use. and that’s just not how other behavioural addictions tend to play out

beyond that, we have to consider the ways the word “addiction” is used politically. addiction is heavily stigmatised. addict is seen as a pejorative term, rather than a descriptive one. so even if you could say that phone use is similar in some way to substance abuse….. calling someone an addict for using their phone a lot comes with a lot of baggage and a lot of implications I am deeply uncomfortable with

the terms “phone addict” or “addictive technology” are not literal phrases, they’re metaphors. technology is being compared to substances, and use of that technology is being compared to addiction. and I think everyone needs to have a deep think about why it is that those comparisons are used. until addiction stops being demonised, it is not useful or helpful to be applying an addiction framework to situations where it doesn’t 100% make sense

I hope that helps and makes sense!

#asks #addiction #sorry for the long post #hope it helps

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vulturesrottencorpse · 11 days

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Is this part of my autism or am I just an asshole

ok so basically, there's this really nice girl in my class, she keeps trying to talk me me (guess she wants to be my friend) but I don't like her. I go to a school that isn't mainstream so we get a lot of people with autism, ADHD, ect. You'd think this would make this easier to make friends, right? No. For some reason I'm a very picky person with who I talk to, I need someone who's smarter than me or gets my humour or something. This girl, she just talks, and talks and doesn't get the hint when I try to politely shoo her away. I'll be drawing, she will comment on it and if I respond even with a thanks, she takes it as an invitation to pull her chair over and sit and draw with me. Constantly asking "should I do this?" "How do I draw this part" " what do you think" every 2 minutes. It annoys me because 1, I don't want to be rude, I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings so I can't just tell her to go away, and 2 , I HATE socialising, even with my friends I find talking hard (irl, at least)

Getting too long but, is this normal? Am I a bad person for not liking this person who wants to be my friend, who's really nice and shares all my interests? Aren't you supposed to like people who are just like you? We are almost exactly the same yet I can't stand her. Maybe this is what it's like for other people who talk to me. I don't know.

Edit: a part I forgot to mention was that she has anger issues and gets annoyed pretty easily. When she's mad she just starts yelling and stuff, if I accidentally offend her by telling her I don't want to be her friend I'd be the centre of attention as the person she'd yelling at, which would probably give me a panic attack.

Since the start of this year I've become a very VERY shy person. If you were to ask anyone in my class or any teachers (from my class only) about me theyed probably shrug and say "who?" Or, "oh. The one that draws all the time" which is super odd because basically my whole life I've been bullied and to combat that I became a very loud and outspoken perdon. I still had social anxiety but with my friends I was pretty much obnoxiously confident. I've gone from being told to "shut up!" And "stop talking to loud" to "speak up" and "talk a bit louder nobody can hear you." So the switch is pretty sudden, and attention, ANY attention, a teacher saying hi to me in class, someone walking past and even glancing at me, sets me into panic.

So I can't tell this girl to simply go away, even if I wasn't scared of being mean.

Also, rereading this post I'd like to clarify that I asked if this was autism because of my extremely low social battery, people pleasing behaviour, ect. And I asked if im an asshole because you're SUPPOSED to get along with people who are the same as you. With people who have similar interests or struggles but I HATE being around those people. I hate being around people who remind me of myself. My whole life I've been friends with the confident, loud and unapologetic people. But the more I think, the more my brain tells me "you just don't like them because they have autism, and that annoys you" (IM LITERALLY AUTISTIC)

This is quickly turning into a long ramble session rather than an explanation. So, feel free to just ignore this wall of text lmao.

#autistic things #autism #actually autistic #pls help #I don't wanna be a bad person #But I can only handle so much #Socialising actually physically hurts #What to you mean I have to talk to people

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chloeseyeliner · 6 months

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(there's ranting. you've been warned.)

um... happy monday to the young royals fandom/edvin's fans in general.

(via edvin's instagram stories)

he is... he is twenty years old. good grief.

(i won't comment on anything regarding his physical appearance on this post, even if everything i'd say would be very, very positive, due to the fact that, although he's never going to come across this, it would still go against his wishes.)

can we just please, please leave people alone? this behaviour... it's not healthy, for anyone involved.

generally speaking, we live in a society where beauty standards are, unfortunately, an inextricable part of some people's lives. these same people believe they can force their own standards, "inspired" by a million different factors surrounding all of us every day (family, school, friends, the environment we grow up in etc etc), to other people, the "trend" (if i can call it such) especially targeting complete strangers, mainly on the internet.

and yes, that includes celebrities, too. famous people, if you prefer this term better. artists. whatever they want to be and are- most of us have been there to not know a day where these people's rights on their personal lives and choices and clothes and pets or whatever a paparazzi or a fan is going to decide does not fit their standards of the day have not been infringed on.

because, believe it or not (and i am NOT refering to the wonderful, respecting, brilliant, supporting majority of fans, at least in this specific fandom), your favourite actor is not your friend. even if the comments on their appearance, for example, like in edvin's case, are written in a playful, sarcastic tone, this cannot be understood through text on a screen- another problem of our society's current state; harmful words you write on a screen, whatever the intention is, do not just stay there, floating around. you aren't trying to communicate with your notes app. a person is reading them, even though you may think they will never reach them, because, for instance, of their huge audience. and it can (excuse me for my language) fuck them up the same way it would fuck someone (e.g. at school or at work) up to say the same harsh words- again, even if you don't correctly estimate the power they can hold- to their face.

so, again, as i have written and reblogged posts in the past regarding similar issues in this specific fandom,, which i love so so dearly, my intention is not to play the part of the "angelic fan" or whichever label might fit the text.

my intention is to maybe, just maybe, reach someone out there who will change their way of thinking; who will have second thoughts when writing a comment about a mustache (for god's sake); who will gain a little grain of empathy towards a fellow global citizen of theirs; who will try to cease some of the "madness"... before a person whose only intention was to make their dreams come true by entering the, in this case, film industry feels obliged to address the issue via a platform on the internet, as if not commenting on his looks etc is not the sensible thing to do... before this attitude turns to bullying for real. if it hasn't already.

that's all i had to say. i am apologising for the length of the post or any mistakes, since english is not my first language and i am quite mad and disappointed, maybe little hurt actually, especially as someone who has been struggling with their physical appearance and comments on it since i was literally a child.

i cannot imagine dealing with that plus being famous and having people judging you all the time. jesus. i really hope edvin has his support system near him and that he will be alright. <3

#seriously okay #at first i was like #maria don't address the issue people are going to say there are more serious stuff going on #but then i was like #yes i acknowledge the very serious stuff surrounding us at the moment and not only in a social media space with only generic posts and such #(like many people OF COURSE)#(and people don't have to know everything we can act on justice withour the internet knowing)#so yeah i did it #because it pissed me off very much #this is not healthy at all tbh #i am not being judgy i thought taylor swift and selena gomez would be my besties when i was like eleven #but parasocial relationships are not good #neither is (technically speaking here) online bullying #some comments appeared on my instagram feed when i liked edvin's post the other day #but i did not want to comment on it if edvin did not say something bc it felt very personal so yeah #this happened #young royals #edvin ryding #cw discussion/(better) mention of physical appearance issues #anyway #i still canot believe that respecting one's boundaries is not taken for granted nowadays

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aslongasimhereyoureinvincible · 10 months

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what are your neurodivergent headcanons for hq characters?

asdfjhgfds sorry this has been in my askbox for a few days ive been busy w/ Life Stuff TM but anyways ND haikyuu headcanons lets gooo

hinata:

ik bc hes Sunshiney and Loud lots of ppl read hinata as adhd, which i can deffo see, but personally i read him as autistic

hes extroverted and good at adopting introverts (kageyama, kenma, yachi, tsukki) but when u stop to think abt it hes also actually kinda bad at social ques and 'normal' behaviour?? i think ppl dont notice bc hes also rlly nice but hinata is actually pretty blunt lmao

his special interest is literally volleyball cmon now

its canon that he dislikes being in classes too long or doing homework bc he finds sitting still for too long difficult, both me and my autistic older brother used to get up and pace around our classrooms when we were younger

even though hes rlly athletic and has insane reflexes obviously, hes also pretty clusmy and especially bad at judging distances which to me looks like dyspraxia which is really commonly comorbid w/ autism

ive also read a few fics where he has tourettes syndrome w/ body tic and i can deffo see why ppl would hc that

idk hes just reads as autistic so well in my mind like idk why its not a more common take

kageyama:

this one is less of a headcanon and moreso just interpreting the text correctly; hes definitely autistic

like its my belief that furudate either knowingly wrote kageyama as autistic or like based his personality off of an irl autistic person they knew or SOMETHING bc its actually insane how well he reads as autistic

the lack of social skills? the anger issues? the deep special interest in volleyball? the just wanting to express your feelings/opinions but coming off as rude but not knowing how to fix that? middle school being a living hell? having that one family member who Got you? the high level of skill in one particular area? hes literally the texboox definition of autism

even the little things like how he files his nails and jokes go over his head and he accidentally insults ppl bc hes calling it how he sees it and how he basically had no friends growing up bc he was too focused on volleyball and how he struggles to smile on command like!!! thats autism babe!!!!!!

oh also hes dyslexic bc im dyslexic and i say so

ushijima:

same as kageyama i bet he was either knowing written as autistic or based off of an irl person who is

blunt as all hell, monotone voice and facial expressions, volleyball as a special interest, bad at social interaction, accidentally rude, the list goes on and on

like his whole thing about how his left handedness makes him different but is also a gift that benefits him in some ways? thats a metaphor for neurodivergency dont @ me

oikawa:

i hc him as having narcisstic personality disorder, not in the ableist reddit-user 'all ppl w/ npd are evil manipulative abusers' way but in the ' i have npd and know what it actually looks like' way

hiding massive insecurities by acting like youre amazing?? that fuckin marina lyric thats like 'i feel like im the worst so i always act like im the best'?? that was abt oikawa tooru and npd

feeling threatened the second someone as good or better than you shows up? fixating on one specific thing that you have to be the best at? those are npd as fuck traits

the way he can basically get along with anyone and adjust his play style to suit them but only has a few close friendships where he can let his true personality rlly shine through

hes literally so npd coded augh <3

bokuto:

i read him as adhd and having cyclothymia

i think he was unmedicated in high school and unknowingly had depressive and hypomanic episodes which affected his play

he also very much reads as having rejection sensitive dysphoria if u ask me

and the way he talks and bounces around and has All That Damn Energy gives me adhd vibes, esp pared w/ his poor volume control ad the way he ignores social cues lol

okay quickfire round bc im getting tired of typing

atsumu is autistic, so is osamu for that matter, theyre just at very different points on the spectrum and rub each other up the wrong way a lot of the time bc of it

kita is also autistic bc no neurodivergent person is that particular about doing things the 'right' way

hoshiumi is autistic and adhd

asahi and yamaguchi read like they struggled w/ anxiety and depression

sakusa has ocpd and ocd (contamination ocd specifically) and mysophobia

kyoutani has aspd, again not in a 'aspd = violent agressive psychopaths' way but in a 'i actually have a cluster b personality disorder' way, and adhd also

kenma is autistic and has social anxiety

yachi has social anxiety too bc cmon now

tsukki reads to me as having chronic depression, i think i could also make a case for him being autistic too ngl

tendou is some flavour of neurodivergent, probally audhd, probably some other stuff, idk but hes definitely not neurotypical

like hinata, lev reads as autistic to me even tho hes got that goodball energy thatd make lots of ppl read him as adhd bc like,, he just fuckin sucks at social interaction like he is accidentally rude all the damn time lmaoo

fukunaga and aone are both autistic w/ selective mutism and/or partial to moderate non-verbalness

obviously its none of my business and i think having headcanons abt irl ppl is Fucking Weird but i wouldnt be surprised if furudate themself was autistic bc truly so many characters in haikyuu can be read that way if u ask me, although maybe im just projecting lol

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu!! headcanons #q and hey hey hey!#tumblr: akiraetzchen #og post //#theres prolly more im missing but these r off the top of my head #obvi theyre just hcs tho ppl are free to have different interpretations #except kageyama being autistic. i KNOW im correct abt that one.#also i promise this blog isnt dead i do still love haikyuu v much im just also super obsessed w/ bluelock rn

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tiffanylamps · 2 years

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Han Joo Won loves a love triangle, Part I

Let's talk about Han Joo Won, his jealousy and his weird attempts at creating love triangles.

[Excuse this post and all its flaws: it was written during a stupid, stupid English heatwave... otherwise known as satan's asscrack. No, this tiny cold island shouldn't be 33C at 9am. ]

Also, I must add that I barely got my English GCSE at school. So, to all those English majors or people with a higher qualification in English Literature (etc), I have no horse in this race. I am not pretending to know what I am talking about... Just indulge me, please.

We all know that Han Joo Won is a silly, silly man. He is pompous and proud, blunt and rude, emotional and caring; he picks fights, gets dissed, and then needs 5-10 business days to think of a comeback.

He also doesn't like close emotional relationships. He believes relationships should be on a transactional (give and take) basis; no emotions, no complication, just favours and debts that get paid off. Han Joo Won has also canonically never had a romantic relationship.

Joo Won clearly has some emotional issues that stem from childhood trauma. He struggles with making genuine, long-lasting connections (mainly because he doesn't want them) and doesn't seem to understand the value of creating bonds. He's a very lonely person, who doesn't know that they're lonely. He reminds me quite a lot of Mr Darcy from Pride and Prejudice. Both share some character traits and act as "misunderstood antagonists" in their own stories, only to become one of the protagonist's greatest allies (and romantic interest). [they're both totally autistic/have asd but whatevs]

[This is written about Mr Darcy. But if someone told me it was a summary of Joo Won, I would totally believe it]

Obviously, the basic plots of Pride and Prejudice and Beyond Evil do differ: one is about the sociopolitical inequalities of regency England's marriage system and how that conflicts with love, and the other is about the importance of found family and love in a corrupt society, overcoming trauma and that no one is above the law. However, they do share similar themes:

Reputation

Class

Family

Preconceived assumptions

Love

Integrity

Han Joo Won and Mr Darcy are (at first) both hard to get along with. Their arrogance and snobby attitudes rub people up the wrong way, and they are often excused for their behaviour because of the family's class and financial status. Where these two characters differ the most is the lens through which they are explored. By this, I mean that Mr Darcy is explored through Elizabeth's pov, and only when her perspective of him changes so does the audience's. Whereas Joo Won has his own pov, he is one of the main narrators of his story. Our perspective of him only chances once he is willing to show his other facets (because Dong Sik forces him to).

[HJW and MD are both misunderstood, socially inept rain-soaked kitty cats, who do use/would use the word ardently when describing their feelings]

[Quick note: Dong Sik is so Elizabeth Bennet. Crazy pretty, comes from a family of "lower" economic class, is from a loving family, charismatic with a sharp tongue, witty, sarcastic, has a love of the ridiculous, stubborn, and has a bit of a temper. Come on, this quote said by Elizabeth could easily have been said by Dong Sik: “There is a stubbornness about me that never can bear to be frightened at the will of others. My courage always rises at every attempt to intimidate me.” Pride and Prejudice, chapter 31]

Another similarity between Han Joo Won and Mr Darcy is that at one point or another, they find themselves in a short-lived love triangle. The biggest difference is that Mr Darcy did not choose to be in a love triangle, Han Joo Won did.

[Joo Won has his own hand flex scene]

When Han Joo Won arrives in Manyang, he is there with a purpose and that purpose is to catch his murder suspect: Lee Dong Sik. There is some stalking history but that's another point for another time. Han Joo Won seems to be taken aback by how much Dong Sik's community love him: he has a large friendship circle and is respected and supported. From very early on, Joo Won seems to be interested in the idea that Dong Sik has a girlfriend. Which could speak on Joo Won's societal beliefs. Perhaps, he's been brought up to believe that a man in his forties should or at the very least, would, have a girlfriend or wife. Perhaps, he believes that Dong Sik would have a wife- maybe it helps Joo Won add more detail to his murder suspect's MO. Or perhaps, it's because Joo Won needs Dong Sik to be interested and involved with women because if he wasn't then... maybe he's interested in men, maybe he'll be interested in Joo Won, maybe he'll find Joo Won attractive, what if Joo Won reciprocated those feelings, what if-

It's easier for Joo Won if Dong Sik is straight.

Beyond Evil uses the rule of three when exploring Joo Won's jealousy. [Definition: "The rule (or power) of three is an age-old writing technique that implies that things that come in threes are inherently more satisfying and effective to readers." - www.andbeyond.com]

So, who's the first person Joo Won believes Dong Sik is interested in? Kang Min Jeong.

I'm not even sure if this suspicion lasts for an entire episode. But Joo Won is so bitchy about it, so princess, that Ji Hoon had to sit him down and say you're being really obvious, calm down, damnnnn she's like his daughter. So, once that "potential love interest/rival" is ruled out, Joo Won moves quickly on. The second rule of the three, the next suspect: Oh Ji Hwa

Now, this is where Joo Won's jealously really shines through. It's text, it's obvious, it's right there for everyone to see. Episode 5 is where this jealously is most prevalent for the audience to see. [quick context filler] At the beginning of the episode, Joo Won wanted to know who Dong Sik is protecting. They have a big UST row over it and Joo Won left with all this information and not context (cause he's too silly to connect the dots). At the police station, the Mayang police gang protect Joo Won against the harassment of the reporter... and he... well... He asks: “Why do you care about me? You barely know anything about me." That's some of the sad shit right there. It just highlights Joo Won's complete lack of understanding of how feelings (like attraction, affection, love) work. He doesn’t understand that they aren’t something earnt, they aren’t given with permission, you cannot control how someone feels about you. It ALSO shows Joo Won's panic of "oh, now I owe these people". The conversation that follows is (I think) one of the most important in the show because it outlines one of the fundamental factors of Dong Sik's and Joo Won’s dynamic. Dong Sik tells Joo Won that “we'' protect our own here, even if we are mad at each other. The people of Manjang band together to eliminate any external threats. And WHAT HAPPENS THROUGHOUT THE STORY??

DS & JW band together to protect a disabled boy against the weather

When bringing Kang Jin Mook to justice

They (reluctantly at first) unite to find out who kills KJM

They start their own task force to investigate who killed the Chief

They band together to find out who killed Lee Yu Yeon

They band together to arrest Joo Won’s father

Whenever there is an outside threat to their community, their safety, their happiness, and their relationship, these two always band together to protect and fight off the threat. No matter the sacrifice, they will protect each other and anyone else who deserves it. That is so beautiful. They are at their best when they are a unit. But anyway, within the context of the scene, Dong Sik is really saying: “I’m still mad at you for the shit you’ve been pulling recently. But don't you see that we are all just normal people? I'm not who you think I am. So, just stop the charade and be a part of our community."

But at this point in the story, episode 5, Joo Won doesn't trust Dong Sik but he is interested in him. What he also doesn't realise is that after the whole "don't be mean to HJW. He's an idiot but he's our idiot" scene, Dong Sik alongside everyone else. He has just protected Joo Won, adding him to the list he recited at the beginning of the episode.

Then... plot happens and they go beat people up together because they're bonding... it's also because Joo Won cares for Dong Sik AND it's because Dong Sik protected him, and Joo Won has paid back the debt.

[from the moment I saw this bit, I thought it was an erection joke and I've got smh at myself sometimes]

But what happens afterwards is what is most telling.

Whilst the officers are processing the charges, Lee Chang Jin makes everyone aware that he and Ji Hwa used to be married. In a thinly-veiled attempt to make others feel sorry that he’s no longer with “his love”, Dong Sik gets angry on her behalf. Ji Hwa is one of Dong Sik’s closest friends, they have always had a platonic relationship, and they love each other dearly. Dong Sik doesn’t like his friend’s shitty ex-husband spurting lies.

So, he kicks the desk.

Joo Won’s reaction? A small amount of confusion mixed with surprise and a sad sigh as he looks away.

What does this look like to Joo Won? He thinks Dong Sik is jealous. He thinks the guy he likes is jealous of (if this were a normal het drama, Dong Sik and Ji Hwa would have been a couple and Joo Won and Jae Yi would have ended up together) Lee Chang Jin’s history with Ji Hwa. Perhaps, his feelings got hurt so he wants to push the “straight” man he likes away, in order to protect himself. Concealing. Concealing. Concealing.

So, what does he actually do?

Gets jealous and pisses Dong Sik off by being a jealous brat.

As we enter the following scene with jwds, the shot we see is of Joo Won sitting up straight with his arms crossed in front of himself. He seems to be annoyed and deep in thought. This could be because of a video of him beating people up is online, it could be because he knows his father knows, it could be because he’s worried he’ll get into trouble. But what is the first thing out of his mouth?

Are you jealous?

What a wonderful example of projecting. Dong Sik isn’t the jealous one. We know he isn’t because there hasn’t been a point in the show (for the 5 episodes, which are roughly an hour long each) that a romantic relationship (past or present) between Dong Sik and Ji Hwa has been mentioned. Instead, we have seen their friendship. The concept of jealousy comes directly from Joo Won and you can see how hurt/tired Dong Sik is once Joo Won accuses him of being jealous of his friend… his female friend’s ex-husband.

We’re at the halfway point of the episode, up until this point Dong Sik has been trying to pull Joo Won in by protecting him and just being nice. He finally thinks they’ve gotten somewhere and the brat says this?

All of this "Dong Sik having feelings for Ji Hwa" nonsense is best summed up Ji Hwa's reaction:

This is probably meant to be a funny line to help diffuse the tension for the audience. A “we know it's getting pretty gay in here but don’t worry, we’ve acknowledged it, it’s not like that, pls don't run away conservative audiences…” But in reality: She directs these two lines to Joo Won. Not her best friend, who is older and should know better than to let little upsets get between himself and his partner. No, she directs it to Joo Won. Almost as if she can see through him, all the way down to his silly jealousy. His reaction is so interesting to me because he immediately gets up and tries to leave; which could be seen as heterosexual disgust (the suggestion that he might “fall” for a man) but it's already been established that he’s the one who is jealous. So, is it disgust or is it concealment? [Also, I know when he gets up, in the world of television, he has to stay facing the camera, so we can see his face as he leaves. But the character of Joo Won always chooses to leave the interrogation room by squeezing behind Dong Sik (getting in his personal space again), instead of just walking to his right. That is rather amusing to me]

In episode 6, Joo Won brings up Ji Hwa one last time to determine Dong Sik's feelings. The reaction he gets is a sigh. By this point, Joo Won has finally gotten his head around the fact that Ji Hwa and Dong Sik aren't romantically interested in one another. Joo Won had ruled Ji Hwa out as a romantic interest/rival. This leads him to his next suspect: Park Jung Je. The last part of the rule of three.

I'm going to leave this there for now. I will write a part II at some point but don't expect it any time soon. This feels a little disorganised but we all know what I'm getting at. Thanks for reading.

Ta ta for now!

#beyond evil #jtbc beyond evil #beyond evil analysis #beyond evil meta commentary #jwds #han juwon #lee dongsik #joo won wants the romcom drama. so he created it himself. i respect that #i bet he read too much romantic literature growing up #he wants side burns and waist coats and VERY tight trousers #he wants to walk across his estate and have a yearly income that will mean he is a handsome suitor #although no one has been handsome enough to tempt him... until...

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