#will cheers myself if i don't delete this in the morning | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

demonpiratehuntress · 5 months

Text

better

Portgas D. Ace x F!Reader

summary - you think you don't do enough for the crew so you work harder and train harder to be better. Ace thinks you do plenty already, but supports your decision regardless.

warnings - none

a/n: i hope the person who requested this sees it, because me being a dumbass at 3am, i accidentally deleted the reply to the request. i also hope i got it right!

You could admit that you were not the most useful crewmember of the Whitebeard pirates. In fact, you felt completely useless, like you couldn't contribute anything meaningful or helpful. But you didn't want to be that way, you didn't want to be just a burden to them, even if Ace would constantly remind you that you're not a burden and you were helpful. To him, at least.

But you wanted to be helpful to the entire crew. In fights, you wanted to be able to hold your own without being told to go hide or go check on the injured. You wanted to be able to fight without having to depend on your boyfriend to come save you if you were faced with an opponent.

"(Name) are you even listening?" A deep chuckle met your ears, snapping you out of your thoughts.

You turned away from the shop window, smiling at Ace sheepishly, "I'm sorry, just...lost in thought." The way you said it and the way your smile didn't quite reach your ears alerted Ace to what you were thinking about.

"Hey," he took both your hands and brought you a little closer, "If it bothers you so much, I can always teach you a few things." He looked at the items you were eyeing from the shop and smirked. "Daggers, huh? Come on." He tugged you into the shop to help you choose a set.

After a very long few hours choosing a pair of pretty yet lethal daggers (Ace was the indecisive one), you both made your way back to the ship. You were staring at the sharp weapons in your hands, marveling at how dangerous they looked and feeling excited to finally learn to be at least a little bit effective.

"Okay let's start with some basic stances," he began, his hand reaching for your hip to position it. "Place one leg like this, and the other like this." He demonstrated his words, showing you how to stand and how to position your arms.

"Ace," you laughed a few minutes later, "I'm pretty sure my butt does not need to be in any specific position."

His beet-red face popped up in front of you, a coy smile on his lips, "Sorry babe, couldn't help myself."

He spent the rest of the afternoon teaching you basic combat moves and acting as your personal hype man, cheering excessively when you got something right just to boost your confidence. It was working, and you were grateful to have such a supportive and helpful boyfriend.

After a few more days of this, you were starting to get the hang of it. Your combat skills had drastically improved, and while you still hadn't managed to beat Ace, there was massive progress and you felt it.

But aside from combat, you also wanted to be more knowledgeable in other fields. Like first aid. In case of emergencies, you wanted to know how to deal with injuries and minor wounds that could be fixed right then and there. You didn't want to be an all-out doctor or medic, but you wanted to have at least a little medical knowledge.

So you took to medical books.

You read everything you could get your hands on, even staying up late at night to study. Sometimes you would even fall asleep at your desk, which is where Ace would find you in the morning. It worried him, but he also didn't want to stop you from learning.

"You should read it to me," he suggested one afternoon, while he was lying in bed with you after having to force you to stop when your eyes started to droop.

"Hmm?" You looked up at him sleepily, "Read what?"

"Those medical books you're reading," his warms hands rested on your stomach, putting you at ease. "You should talk to me about what you learn, it could help you remember."

You smiled when he offered to listen to you, "Are you sure you'll be able to keep up?"

He gasped dramatically, "What do you think I am? Stupid?"

"Yes," you teased.

He feigned offence, playfully scoffing, "I detest that."

"I'm kidding," you laughed, shifting so you could bury your face in his neck. "But thanks for the offer. I might just take you up on that."

And you did. Every time you were reading, Ace was with you whenever he could be. He sat and listened to you explain and discuss the human anatomy, how to dress certain injuries and what steps to take if there wasn't a medic around. He really didn't follow along, and he often fell asleep, but you appreciated the effort he was making to encourage you.

"Aceeeee!" You giggled and flicked his nose gently.

"Wha-?" He jerked awake, eyes flitting around the room before settling on you, and a lovestruck smile formed on his lips. "Oh, hey babe."

"You fell asleep again," you pouted, unable to stop your smile.

"I'm sorryyyyy," he apologised, leaning forward and kissing all over your face. It tickled, and the laughs he pulled from you made him smile. "Carry on, I'm listening now."

"You promise?"

"I promise."

#one piece #op #portgas d ace #ace x reader #ace x you #portgas d ace x reader #portgas d ace x you

295 notes · View notes

smoooothoperator · 9 months

Text

Beautiful Stranger

09: This Love

Driver! Lando Norris x OC (Lily Barton)

Summer love, strangers to friends to lovers, Greece and Greek mythology references

Words: 2.8k

warnings: Lando's pov, handritten is in italics, emails

Masterlist

Official playlist

previous part

a/n: HELLO I hope no one hates me because of what I have done and what will happen :)

He was broken.

The day he broke her heart he wanted to delete it from his mind, act like it never happened. He regrets lying to her, not telling her from the start his real name and who he is. He regrets so many things and there's no way back.

Sitting on the bed, a bed he barely slept in, felt bad, wrong. He knows she is at the other side of the wall, throwing things and breaking them. He can hear her.

Tomorrow he has to leave, but time passes so slow right now without her that it feels like the day he has to leave will be next year.

The shell she made for him is burning on his chest, making him hold it on his fist like his life depended on it. He feels how the hickey she left on his collar burns his skin. Her hair bands he has on his wrist are getting tighter and tighter, he feels how his hands are getting cold with the lack of blood.

But it's all mental. All mental and not real.

Maybe this is a dream. Maybe none of this happened, it's just a nightmare of what could happen if she discovered his real name.

He just has to wake up and then he will find her laying next to him on the bed, with her back on his chest and her hand holding his in front of her chest.

He tried to wake up desperately, slapping himself, pinching his arms. But it hurt, it hurt and what hurt him the most was that everything that happened was real.

"What have I done?" he cried softly, holding the shell with both of his hands and bringing it to his lips.

He really loved her. He loved Lily so much it overwhelmed him. He couldn't believe how much he could love a person in so little time, how his heart could beat for her and how he sighed thinking about her.

For the first time, he felt she was the one. For the first time he felt she was his weakness. For the first time he let his mind wonder about the future and not live only in the present.

He really saw a future with her. He saw himself waking up next to her all mornings and falling asleep next to her every night. He saw himself spending evenings with his friends while holding her hand. He saw himself buying the perfect apartment for them, with a room for her and all her paintings. He saw himself kneeling in front of her with a box in his hands and a shiny ring inside of it. He saw himself walking out of a chapel as newlyweds, holding her hand and hearing their friends cheer for them.

He saw a life with her. But it just faded away the moment she locked her apartment door.

He flinched when he heard the ringtone of his phone, making him run his hand all over his face and then hair, picking up the call.

"Yeah?" he sighed, not looking who was calling

"You finally pick the call!" Zak.

"Zak… I'm not in the mood to talk right now" he sighed, closing his eyes, not wanting to hear his boss.

"Do you have any idea of the trouble you made? Who is that girl?" he asked. "You have a lot of things to explain"

"There's nothing to explain anymore" he said. "Whatever that happened with that girl is done. I'm coming back home tomorrow"

"There are pictures"

"I know there are pictures! Even if I asked at the start of my summer break that I wanted no one to take pictures of me, people wouldn't listen! I don't have the energy to explain things about my private life because it is what it is! Private" he explained.

He's tired. Tired of explaining his behavior, why he says and does things. He's tired of people not liking him because of how he is. He's tired of acting and looking at what he can say or he can do.

"For once in my life I wanted to do something by myself" he said, laying back on the bed and looking at the ceiling. "And it looks that I can't even do that"

"Once you come back from those holidays you have to come to the headquarters" Zak stated. "You have things to do"

"Of course I do" he sighed.

Who was him to believe that he could have the life of a normal person? That he could go somewhere alone and have a calm and quiet break?

He's a celebrity, no matter where he goes there's always going to be someone that will recognize him.

"Fuck" he groaned, leaving the phone on the bed and taking a deep breath.

Now what? What he should do?

Carlos said he should use his brain to fix things. But how? How will he explain himself if the person he wants to talk with is the person he betrayed and hurt?

He sighed, getting up and walking out of the apartment, walking around the town.

He ignored the people asking him for pictures, those who called him by his name like if they knew who he actually is.

He didn't know, but his brain was working alone, taking control of his body and leading him to a store. He saw his hands grabbing a notebook and pens. He saw his feet walking towards the cashier, watching how he paid for what he bought.

He made the way back to the apartment, looking at her door with a sad gaze.

"I do love you" he whispered sadly. "More than you think"

It was incredibly hard to be Lando now. He wanted to be the man she fell in love with. He really wanted to be Logan.

The notebook was open in front of him and the pen was in his right hand. What is his brain planning to do?

Dear Lily:

I know I hurt you. And I'm so sorry for doing that, you have no idea. I know that there's no way you can forgive me for what I did. And I know that I don't deserve your forgiveness.

Yeah. My name is not Logan. So now I will tell you everything about me. And by everything I mean the truth.

I'm Lando Norris. I was born on the 13th of November of 1999. I have siblings: an older brother named Oliver, and two little sisters named Cisca and Flo. My older brother is already married with Savannah and has two beautiful daughters: Mila and Athena (you would have loved them, I know you would have smiled a lot hearing Athena's name). My sister Flo is a professional horse rider, and I bet you would have loved to ride her horse, it would made you giggle like when we went to those ruins riding a horse.

I'm half British and half Belgian. My mom is the Belgian half of me. I really would love to learn her language because that would help me talk with my Belgian family, but I'm so bad with new languages, you know that.

I'm not a DJ. I mean, I do have a DJ set, I try to make some music but that's only a hobby. My work is being a driver. A Formula 1 driver for the team McLaren. This is my fifth year racing with them and I plan on doing it for a long time.

I like to play golf too, and play video games as you saw. I have an eSports team named Quadrant that is going pretty well. I'm so proud of the team and of my own brand, of how much it grew since I created it. Many people follow us and we do a lot of things, we even have clothes. You know that red hoodie you borrowed me? It's from Quadrant. And those violet shorts? From Quadrant too.

I would have loved to introduce you to my friends. I'm sure Carlos would have loved you, all my friends would. They are nice guys.

Sometimes at night I imagine how you would fit in my life. How you would come to my races, cheer for me and walk next to me through the paddock. How much you would have loved to spend time with my family and friends, going together on vacations.

My family would have loved you so much. Mila would love you, asking you to draw with her or make jewelry for her. She would be your number one fan. Savannah and you would be good friends, I'm sure. And I think you would be good friends with the girlfriends of other drivers.

Lily, I do love you. I couldn't tell you who I was because I was so scared of you recognizing me, or people around the town recognizing me. I'm so tired of being in the spotlight, of being in the mouth of other people, talking bad things about me. And I didn't want you to know that, I didn't want you to know the bad side about me.

I fell in love of you so hard, and it kills me hearing you cry and being the cause of your tears. I wish I could be there to hold you close to my chest and brush your hair. I wish none of this happened and I told you the truth from the start.

I'm yours, Lily, only yours. You own my heart and I'll leave this town knowing that I will never have it back.

Always yours,

Lando

He signed the paper with a sad smile. He told her everything, the essential things she has to know. He could tell her more, but he doesn't know how she would react, or if she would read this first letter.

Staying inside that apartment drove him crazy. He needed to be with her, it was as if he couldn't breathe without her touch.

He always asked himself what it was like to be in love, to find true love. When he was little he observed his parents, how much they cared for each other, how they shared their joy and sadness. Then he saw his brother, how he built a connection with his girlfriend.

And now he found that connection, he knows what it feels to be connected with someone, to have the same feelings and caring for someone. He doesn't want to stop feeling that way.

Putting his things on the suitcase was hard. He knows that once he closes it he won't come back here, that he won't see her.

Laying alone on the bed of that apartment was different. He felt cold, even if he had the blankets under his chin. His eyes wouldn't close, the ceiling was too interesting, apparently. He stopped hearing her, and it made him feel anxious. But he can't do anything.

He woke up early, or got up, because he could sleep. It was like a funeral walk, keeping his head low and grabbing his things, grabbing the notebook and ripping off the paper. He folded it and walked out of the apartment with his things and the letter in his hand.

"Lily?" he sighed, knocking on her door and slipping the paper under her door. "Just… take care, okay? Don't let this affect you. I love you, I want the best for you. I hope you forgive me… I love you"

He walked downstairs for the last time, looking back at the apartment complex with a sad smile and tears in his eyes. He went to the restaurant where the owner of the apartment works, taking a deep breath.

"Eh… Nora?" he called, making seconds later a woman walk out of the kitchen. "I came to leave the keys"

"Oh, how was your stay?" she asked with a lovely smile.

"Eh… good" he smiled weakly, sniffling softly. "Can you please keep an eye on Lily?"

"Oh… Lily" she nodded. "Yeah of course"

Lando nodded, smiling weakly. He grabbed his backpack and turned around to walk out of the restaurant, but the woman stopped him.

"I won't say that what you did was right" she sighed. "I know what happened. But, Lando… if you truly loved that girl just give her time, don't give up on her"

"I won't" he smiled sadly.

"Here" she said, writing something on a piece of paper and handing it to him. "It's her email. If you love her, don't stop letting her know"

"I…" he mumbled surprised, looking at the paper. "Thank you… you don't know how much it means to me. Thank you so much"

"Just fix this… make our girl happy"

He nodded and held the paper close to his chest, walking out of the restaurant and waiting for his taxi.

There's a tiny hope for him. Just a tiny light of hope.

From: Lando

To: Lily

Date: 15/08/2023

My lovely Lily,

I arrived home. Things here are a mess… There were some not funny fans that decided to take pictures of us and post it on social media. And now, instead of enjoying the last days of freedom before working again, I have to make sure that everything is out of the internet.

I hope you read the letter.

I miss you so much

I love you

From: Lando

To: Lily

Date: 24/08/2023

My gorgeous Lily,

There's no morning where I miss your hair in my face.

Today I have to go to Zandvoort, it's the first race after the summer break. I'm so excited, actually. The car is amazing and I just hope I can finally win a race.

But sometimes I wish you were here… I wish I never lied to you, Lily. I'm not myself anymore. I can't sleep, Lily. I can't stop thinking about you and how you looked at me the moment you discovered the truth. Sometimes it hunts me in my sleep.

I wish you were here, love…

I miss you

I love you

From: Lando

To: Lily

Date: 27/08/2023

My dear Lily,

The race didn't end well. I scored points, but the one that won was too fast and I couldn't follow his pace, nor stand on the podium next to him.

It's not that the car failed me. I failed the car. I wasn't focused, my mind was flying to Greece.

My boss is not happy with my result, and blames me for the bad performance.

God, you have no idea how bad I need your hugs, Lily. You have no idea how much I need your smile or giggles.

I miss you

I love you

From: Lando

To: Lily

Date: 20/09/2023

My sweet Lily,

Today I saw something in a store in Japan that reminded me of you. It was a little figure of Athena, your favorite Goddess, but from that anime called "Knights of the Zodiac". Did I tell you that my brother's little daughter is named like her? I have an Athena in my life, it sounds amazing, right?

I sent you a hoodie from the new collection of Quadrant. I hope you like it and use it.

I miss you so much

I love you so much

From: Lando

To: Lily

Date: 18/10/2023

My beautiful Lily,

You won't believe this. I'm in Las Vegas.

This place is amazing, but I don't think you would love it. It's too noisy, there are too many lights here. This place is the opposite of everything you like.

Do you miss me? Because I still do so much.

In less than a month will be my birthday. I wish you were there with me to celebrate it.

I love you

From: Lando

To: Lily

Date: 12/11/2023

My precious Lily,

Tomorrow is my birthday. I don't want to celebrate it.

These last weeks and months are not the same without you. I wish I could say that my results at the races are good, but it's far from that. They are miserable. I can't focus. I do score points, I work well with the team. But I feel tired all the time, not well rested.

I just want this season to end. I want to go to Greece and see you, hug you, kiss you.

I'm getting crazy everyday while checking the mail, wanting to read about you, wanting to know how you're doing.

I know I fucked up, but please… I can't anymore, Lily. I don't want to give up, but I don't have energy anymore, baby… please, give me a simple answer. I don't care if it's an "I hate you" or "fuck you". Please let me know you are still alive.

I miss you so much.

And I love you to the moon and back.

From: Lily

To: Lando

Date: 13/11/2023

My dear Logan. Or Lando,

I'm alive.

Happy birthday

taglist

@lestappenloverr @racinggirl @roni-midnights @livster8 @kakorrhaphiphobia @starkeyellow @celestialpierre @ophcelia @msliz @lorarri @ironmaiden1313 @imsorare @mycenterfold @im-an-overthinker @soosheee @karmabyfernando @landoyesrizz @sticksdoesart @beatricemiruna @nonameishere

161 notes · View notes

allycat004 · 10 months

Text

Perfect to Me

Disclaimer: This is fluff with mentions of smut. This fic was based off of and inspired by a Chapter in a book I'm currently reading, Mile High by Liz Tomforde.

Pairings: Steve Harrington x Female reader

Summary: You are had a bad day and on top of that begin to feel self-concious about your body. Steve comes home and finds you crying then comes up with a way to cheer you up.

Word count: 1,452

I woke up this morning hoping today was going to be a good day, but things did not go the way I had hoped. I dropped my coffee on the way to my internship and something I had been working on for weeks was deleted, it was gone. The only thing I really had going for me today, was my date later on with Steve. It was the one thing I had been looking forward to all week.

I ended up getting home earlier than I had anticipated so I decided to take the extra time I had to finish a book while making sure I had time to get ready. After I finished my book, I decided to have a small snack before I got ready. Then when I was done I showered, did my hair, and did my makeup. When that was all done with, I went into my closet to pick out my outfit.

Recently, I was trying to go out of my comfort zone because I was really self-conscious about my body, my curves. Being with Steve and having his support along with his encouragement was really helpful. So, I decided to go with the pleather jeans that I got at the mall a few days ago, a corset top, and my panda dunks. I laid out my outfit on my bed and took a deep breath then started to put it on.

After having to jump to pull my jeans all the way up, I tried to button them and they won’t button. I tried three times and they still wouldn’t button, when I had bought them they fit me perfectly. The thing is, is that my body weight fluctuates all the time or I tend to be super bloated some days rather than others, I guess today was just one of those days where I was more bloated than usual.

“ You’ve got to be kidding me, no, no, no, please don’t do this to me right now. “ I whined and sat on the bed trying to relax myself and not get super worked up. I took a few deep breaths then put my top on, which I had no problems with. So, I decided to wait a little bit before trying to get my pants to button again because I didn’t want to give up on them just yet.

I got up, walked back into the closet, closed the door behind me, and stood in front of the mirror that was hanging behind the door. The moment I looked at myself in the mirror, I knew coming into the closet was a bad idea. One look at myself was all it took for me to become self-conscious and due to that I started to try and take off the jeans, but they got stuck on my thighs.

“ Fuck, son of a bitch ! “ I slightly yelled then I looked back up into the mirror because I couldn’t help it and saw how the jeans looked stuck to my thighs. Which was my breaking point and I just started crying and put my face in my hands.

“ Y/N- baby, what’s wrong? “ Steve asked, which caused me to snap my head up because I didn’t know he was home, I must’ve not heard him come in.

“ I- n- nothing. “ I sniffled.

“ Sweetheart, you’re crying, what’s making you so upset? “ He asked, then came into the closet, stood behind me, wrapped his arms around me, and kissed my shoulder.

“ I- i’m just having a bad day, that’s all. “ I wiped my face and then explained to him what had happened today leading up to now, excluding how I felt about my body at the moment.

“ We all have bad days Y/N, it’s gonna be okay. “ Steve said then he rested his head on my shoulder. “ Now, besides what happened today, what else is causing you trouble, hm? “ He asked and I sighed because I knew I couldn’t lie to him.

“ I- I just… I really don’t like my body. “ I sniffled and looked up into the mirror and made eye contact with him, he was frowning, but quiet.

“ Do you trust me? “ He asked.

“ O- of course I trust you. “ I replied.

“ Okay… here, let’s get you out of these clothes, alright. “ He said, but waited for confirmation that I was okay with this, I hesitated a little before nodding. After I gave him permission, Steve helped me out of my clothes and now I was just standing in front of the mirror in my underwear with him hugging me from behind.

“ Okay, let’s try something… tell me some things that you like about yourself. “ He said.

“ …. Nothing. “ I replied as I looked up into the mirror.

“ Come on Y/N, I know that’s not true. “ Steve said.

I sighed and looked at myself for a little bit before I said anything. “ I like my eyes. “ I said.

“ I love your eyes baby, they’re so pretty… what else? “ He replied as he kissed my cheek, which made me smile a little.

“ uhm… I like my hair, how long and shiny it is. “ I said.

“ I love your hair, now what else? “ Steve said.

“ That’s it… “ I replied as I looked at him in the mirror and he just nodded.

“ Alright… then tell me what you don’t like about yourself. “ He replied while looking back at me in the mirror, making eye contact with me.

“ I don’t like my thighs. “ I whispered, then I watched him place his hands on them.

“ I love your thighs. “ Steve said as he gave them a light squeeze. “ I like them when I rest my head in your lap and I especially like them when they are warming up the sides of my face when I go down on you. “ I laughed a little at his response, which caused him to smile. “ But what I like most about them is when you’re sitting on my lap, facing me with your thighs straddling my legs because I like getting to see your pretty face. “

“ What else is there that you don’t like? “ He asked and I thought about it for a moment and let my eyes wander.

“ I don’t like my stomach, I would like it to be flatter. “ I said as I looked to the side and away from the mirror.

“ I love your stomach. “ He replied and I felt his hands graze over it, which caused me to look back into the mirror. “ I love how soft it is, that I have a little something extra to hold while we’re cuddling… or fucking. “

“ I- Steve ! “ I laughed while shaking my head.

“ Just being honest here Y/N. “ Steve said with a boyish grin.

“ Well… I also don’t like my boobs. “ I said before he could even ask me to name something else and he looked at me like I offended him.

“ You’re kidding, “ he replied “ There is no way that’s true, those are my two favorite things. “

I laughed, “ I don’t like that they aren’t the same size. “ I stated.

“ Which is okay because you’re only human baby, plus I don’t have favorites. It’s impossible for me to pick between them. “ He said as he kissed my head and I chuckled.

“ I don’t really like my stretch marks.” I said and I watched in the mirror as he glided his hands along them then wrapped his arms back around my waist.

“ Well I love them because I think that it’s pretty fucking cool that your body can adapt, I mean don’t you think that’s awesome? “ He said and I smiled.

“ When you put it that way, yeah.. It is pretty fucking awesome. “ I replied while chuckling and he kissed my cheek.

After all of that, I felt better and we decided to stay in for the night. I put on some pajamas and we ordered in and watched our favorite show while cuddling in the living room. Since we were both getting tired, we decided to head into our room and cuddle in. Steve pulled me in close and I rested my head on his chest, he then kissed my head and started playing with my hair.

“ I know that you won’t love your body every single day, but that’s okay because I will love it for the both of us. I will also be there and be your biggest supporter, to help cheer you up like I did today. You are perfect to me Y/N and you always will be. “ He whispered and my eyes teared up a little bit.

“ I love you Steve Harrington. “ I said

“ I love you too baby. “ Steve replied, then he kissed my head and eventually we both drifted off to sleep.

#steve harrington fanfic #steve harrington #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington x fem!reader #stranger things #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington fandom #bodypositivity #self love

55 notes · View notes

bee-a-ts · 3 days

Text

I've not made a secret of having an absolutely awful week. I've tried not to trauma dump unprompted, either, so I've kept it vague, but in addition to the occasional tumblr post I've reached out to irl friends with statements on the theme. Some friends, and statements, repeatedly. Which isn't like me - I'm normally forthcoming with my stress when it's relatively minor. Or I'll say it once and leave it be. But I'm drowning right now and so I keep reaching out.

And no one. Not a single one of these good friends. Has done so much as said, "I'm sorry, I'm here for you," or asked more questions, or checked in, or, hell, sent a silly picture to try and cheer me up. It's like pulling teeth to get a response at all. It's always me reaching out first - how was your birthday, how was your move, how are you feeling, how was so and sos visit? Here, have a meme that made me think of you, here's a song that made me think of you, here's a picture of the sky in Seattle today, and on and on.

Is it unrealistic to expect a base level of reciprocal caring from close friends?? I know I can always be direct - "I need you to talk first, check in, think of me when I'm having a hard time" - but a, it takes the value out of it for me to have the only times I'm cared for be in response to a direct ask; and b, I have done that before. It's clearly not stuck.

I'm just - gods, I'm frustrated and angry and so goddamn sad. This is my life. I live alone. I do not have a partner, and probably never will. I need my friends, because I literally do not have a different support option. And it's been like this all month, sending message after message to the void for all the response I'm liable to get.

All that to say, I forgot to add kale to my Jamba Juice smoothie delivery this morning and had a fucking breakdown about it when I realized, because it was too sweet and without a vegetable I can't justify eating it so the whole thing will go in the trash. Thankfully, I found some spinach in the freezer and salvaged the situation. But it's so clear to me I'm taking out the stress of this month on my body.

Yesterday the only food I ate and kept down was a pastry and some carrots and seaweed during DnD. I had a banana and donut that morning, but I made myself throw it up.

I've been taking too hot showers trying to burn myself, and too cold showers when that doesn't work to try and make myself cry it out. I am constantly thinking about all the destructive habits I've used in the past and trying to redirect them, but a rubber band on the wrist only goes so far.

I'm exhausted and while this week really took the cake in terms of Extra Bullshit, the intense stress has been going on for two months now and it's looking like another two months of this at least. I don't know what I'm going to do. Probably keep hating myself and my body and coping poorly, if I'm honest. It's not like I'm actively suicidal - I'm not going anywhere. I'm just-

Fuck it, I don't know. Who cares anyway. Clearly. I'll be fine eventually, I always am. I'm used to being the only person taking care of myself.

I'll probably delete this later anyway.

#cw disordered eating #this is a giant word dump that really should be in a journal not on the internet #but I've been saying that to myself for four days and haven't found the energy to journal yet and I am shaking apart at the seams so #just putting this here to probably delete later #sorry #personal

5 notes · View notes

hier--soir · 7 months

Note

hi dude. i’m sorry if this is overstepping a boundary or anything, and if you’re not comfortable sharing please absolutely delete this ask, but i just wondered if you had any advice for getting through the old d*pr*ssion. i’m really struggling right now and i’m too fucking anxious to reach out to anyone for help, just wondered if you had any words of wisdom?

your writing fucking blows my mind btw. i am honored to exist at the same time as u to witness how insanely talented you are 🤍 cheers to u

hey legend! [this is long as fuck my bad]

you wanna know something super impressive? that thing you mention that's really hard, that thing that makes us all so anxious sometimes, that sometimes fucked up sometimes painful sometimes shameful thing called reaching out ? you just did it by sending me this, and i'm pretty proud of you dude.

depression is by no means fun and games, and i'm really sorry you're struggling. i know all too well how isolating it can be. how dark it can feel. but these feelings are not forever. and these feelings are not who you are.

first, i hope it's okay that i share something that i think about all of the fucking time, that i resonate with, that i feel deep in the marrow of my bones. it's a talk wentworth miller gave at an Active Minds conference a few years back, about his experience living with and talking about depression.

“Sharing my story is, and has been, life saving for me. And it's scary, still. Because whenever I do it, whenever I write or talk about the things the younger me worked so hard, for so long, to keep quiet, whenever I find the courage to say 'yes, me too'... it's like opening a door and walking alone into a pitch-black room, and it's dark, and I have to feel my way, and it's frightening. And then I find the light switch, and I turn on the light, and I see I am surrounded. I see a room full of people. There are so many of us. In here, and out there."

there are so many of us my friend. you are not alone in this. you just need to turn on the light.

more under the cut x

something i've been doing for the past two years is journalling. i do it everyday, chicken-scrawling the most minute details and thoughts from my day. and in hard times, like the past month, i journal twice a day. i start it off in the morning with a few goals, or ideas, of what i'd like to do that day. super simple stuff. and at the end of the day, i write what i ended up actually doing. and whether or not i did or didn't achieve what i set out to do, i get to look at the beginning and end of my day and acknowledge the quietest and the loudest parts of it. it's sometimes bad and sometimes awful. but sometimes? it's great.

here's a pic of my journal one day like a fortnight ago [mind the handwriting lol]

i look back at this day and i think it was sunny, you felt love, you felt proud. and with everyday that passes after this one, i'm grateful to myself for making these entries. on days where it rains, where i do not feel love, where i do not feel proud - i look back and remember that it is possible. i've felt good things, fantastic wonderful things, and i will feel them again.

things like medication and talk therapy work for me but don't necessarily work for everyone, so i won't say these things are an end all be all. if you have the capacity, even reaching out to a doctor you feel comfortable with can help. it's worth expressing how you've been feeling and how it has been affecting parts of your life. to tell one person can feel like climbing a mountain, i know. but please trust me, the view at the top of that mountain??? fucking incredible.

if reaching out to someone in person still feels too tricky, you could access an anonymous hotline. in australia we have things like Headspace and BeyondBlue, where you can reach out over the phone or online chat and speak anonymously, for free. just get something off your chest, say anything you feel, say whatever is bubbling up with seemingly nowhere to go - to a stranger. i've accessed this kind of support before and found that it took a bit of weight of my shoulders - maybe this is something that could bring some relief to you as well. if people in other countries are aware of and willing to share their home country's version of this in the comments, that would be lovely. if not, that's also fine.

i hope this response has felt meaningful in some way for you, and not just a mess of ramblings..

i guess i’ll end this by saying i may not know you but best believe that i care for you. i believe in you, and i'm thinking about you, wherever you are. you'll get a special mention in my journal tomorrow morning x

#anon #tw mental health #tw depression #personal #very personal actually

11 notes · View notes

risu5waffles · 1 year

Text

youtube

This is such a weird, charming, weird, i think it's broken, but maybe there's a copypasta thing going on that i didn't find the payoff to, charming kinda level. The whole build just oozes good cheer, and there's so much detail work done up-front, i just fell in love wiv it as soon as it started. The tofu(?) blocks wiv their little smiles and blinks and colour changes? Yeah, like, that's the good stuff. Gameplay-wise there's nothing too snazzy or stressful, but there's enough going on that i had a good time wiv it beyond just absorbing the vibe. i liked that LBP2 spin on the common jetpack puzzle we got in LBP1, that was a good time. But then, what was going on wiv that dialogue bit at the beginning? Why does the level just deadstop like it does? i'm sure there's something more that was supposed to be going on, and i can only imagine that the translation to LBP3 borked it somehow (tho', that still doesn't account for the dialogue); it just feels weird that OmgCakes would have decided to end it the way they did. There was that bit on the title page that said they couldn't edit the level any more for DLC reasons, but... did they have most of the build done wiv scoreboard placed, and just hadn't filled out the last section before whatever went sideways did? That wouldn't even be that strange. The archive level i'm working on has the scoreboard set in, but no way to access it yet, because i needed to see what that area would look like to be able to set up the end. i don't know, it's weird. And a little disappointing. And i'd love to hear from the creator what happened. Still, i had a good time, and i really needed a cheery level when i recorded the episode. Still feel a little bad i broke it the way i did when we did the first impressions run, tho'. -------------------------------------------------------------------- i think i'm going to have to just redo the turret ghosts in my level. i was working on it on stream last night, and then this morning before work, and as much as i love them from a character standpoint, they just don't click right when i think of the gameplay experience. i've got a few alternate ideas we'll put some time into on stream tonight. Speaking of, we got our first (i think? my memory gets fuzzy) straight-up bigot in chat last night, i think since i started streaming back in 2018? Like, we've had a couple of kids who were gross drop in and catch bans; and we've had a couple of kids do that lowkey "but you don't sound like a woman" pushback, and also catch bans; but i'm pretty sure this is the first time we've had someone be "I HATE TRANS PEOPLE" all-caps right out the gate. Honestly, if that's the worst we ever get, i guess i'll count myself lucky. Tho', i suppose if it gets to be a recurring thing, i'll have to take the chat overlay off the stream, since deleted messages in Twitch still show up there (for once not a Twitch problem, i think; just the way Sony has in-box streaming set up, 'cause it was the same when i was streaming on YouTube). That would suck a little, but needs must when the devil drives, you know?

#littlebigplanet #little big planet #lbp #lbp2 #lbp3 #Youtube

12 notes · View notes

recurring-polynya · 10 months

Note

*CLAPPING AND CHEERING WHENEVER I SEE BYAKUYA'S SQUAD 6 MEMOS AGAIN* Honestly an early favourite when I was getting into Bleach. Anyways for the deleted scene stuff my vote is for Hold On, Hold On. Academy squad...

I hope someone from Squad Six saves every memo Byakuya ever writes, like, in a binder somewhere. For posterity.

Ahem! So, in the first draft of Hold On, Hold On, when Renji hit the depression stage, Kira convinced him to stay in bed. I didn't like it though, and I eventually decided that a) it was too sappy and b) it was out-of-character for Renji to allow himself that level of self-indulgence, and I rewrote it. I absolutely stand by the final version as superior. Regardless, there are certainly some charming bits in this version, so here it is. This is actually, like, 3 deleted scenes, but they go together so you can have them all. (If the first few paragraphs are familiar, it's because they're the same as in the final story, but I wanted to keep the lead-in)

🛏️ 📖 🌧️

Renji relentlessly fills binders for two days. It’s actually kind of fun for Izuru to be able to supply information on various protocols and etiquette. For once, Renji is actually interested in things he knows about. But Izuru hopes this doesn’t turn out to be permanent. There’s a certain anxious mania to School Supply Renji that he finds exhausting. This may also be due to the fact that School Supply Renji doesn’t sleep any better than Denial Renji or Angry Renji.

But Saturday morning, things have changed once again.

The day dawns bright and beautiful and Izuru hopes maybe they can spar outside or walk down into the city proper, instead of cutting articles out of magazines in the library again.

Renji is lying in bed with his blanket over his face and his feet sticking out the bottom.

Izuru hopes against hope that he’s asleep. “Hey, Abarai?” he whispers.

A muffled “yuh?” emerges from the blanket.

“You ready to go down to breakfast?”

Izuru has lived with Renji for nine months now. Renji has never once not been ready for breakfast.

There is a long pause. “I don’t feel like it.”

A dark, familiar feeling knots in Izuru’s stomach. He tries not to jump to conclusions. Maybe Abarai has made himself sick with his mania and poor sleep. “You don’t feel like eating or you don’t feel like getting out of bed?”

Another pause. “Neither, really.” Renji sticks the tip of his nose out from under the blanket. “I'm never going to see her again, am I?"

No, it was his first suspicion after all. Izuru knows how to deal with this. It hurts his heart, both because he’s embarrassed by how familiar these feelings are, and also because Renji is strong and cheerful and spits in the face of life’s adversities, and depression is not for him, it’s for people like Izuru. But that’s how it is in this bitch of an afterlife, so Izuru’s going to Do Friendship and help Renji get through this.

Izuru keeps his voice very calm and reasonable. "I think you will see her again. It won't be the same, and it might not be for a while, but I am sure you will see her again, especially if you work at it the way I know you're going to."

"It seems like so much work. It seems impossible."

"You just have to take it one step at a time. The first step is doing well at school, and you'll have that covered if you stop yelling at teachers and trying to show off in kidou. And it's Saturday, so if you want to just stay in bed for a while, you can. You don't need to work on it every minute of every day."

"I feel like I'm too sad to get up. I hate this. Why am I like this?"

Izuru pulls his desk chair over next to Renji's bed and sits down. "A sad thing is happening to you right now. You haven't really just let yourself be sad about it. It's okay to do that."

"I'm being ridiculous. I would never do this back home."

Izuru has never once heard Renji refer to Inuzuri as "home" before.

"Yeah, well, you're not there anymore, so go ahead and be ridiculous. I've spent a few days in bed myself because I was sad, sometimes it's what you need."

More of Renji's face pokes out from under the blanket. "Really?"

Izuru regards him very seriously. "Yes. And some of it was for good reason, like when my parents died, and sometimes it was for no reason. There are some people who just get sad sometimes and I'm one of them. And since I am the voice of experience here, this is what we're going to do today: You do what you want. If you want to stay in bed, stay in bed. If you want to go outside, go outside. At some point, I'll make you eat something, but it doesn't have to be right now. If there is anything you think will make you feel better, go for it. If there's anything I can do to make you feel better, say the word. You want to tell Rukia stories, I'll listen. You want me to go get you some food, just tell me what you want. You wanna borrow my blanket so you can make yourself a big blanket nest, it's yours. If you'd rather have Momo or Hisagi or someone else, I'll go get them for you. If you want to be alone, that's okay, but I will check on you from time to time. Deal?"

Renji nods. "Hey, Izuru?"

"Yeah?"

"I can really borrow your blanket?"

Izuru snorts, and goes to get it. He tosses it over Renji's feet, and then, realizing that his is much softer than Renji's own, reorganizes so the nicer one is on the bottom. "That one was easy."

"Once, in Rukongai, I got sick with a fever and I got the chills real bad. Everyone put their blanket on me and…" he trails off.

Izuru pats the mass of blankets. "I told you. Anything."

---

In a twist that surprises no one, Renji is bad at being depressed. The problem is that he is bored, but he still doesn't feel like doing anything.

"Do you want to get out of the room?"

"No, I want to stay here."

"Do you want to lift your weights?"

"No, I don't want to move."

"Do you want to talk about anything?"

"I don't even want to think about anything. That's the problem, actually. I keep thinking things I don't want to think about."

"You want to read a book?"

Renji wrinkles his nose. He's got blankets wrapped around his head, and if he weren't so sad, he would look really adorable. "Like homework?"

"No, like, for fun. I read a lot when I get depressed, it helps distract my mind."

Renji still looks perplexed. "But what do you read that's fun? I guess our history book is kinda interesting."

It dawns on Izuru suddenly. Renji has mentioned before that paper is rare out in Inuzuri, and that his schoolbooks are the first books he's ever owned. Every time Izuru thinks he has a handle on the awful dump Renji grew up in, he learns some new horrible detail, large or small that makes things seem even worse. "I've heard you tell stories before, " Izuru says slowly. "Not stories about yourself, but about made-up people or events? Stories you tell over and over?" He'd always found this performative storytelling sort of odd, but Renji seemed to enjoy it. He recalls Rukia telling stories once or twice, as well. She had seemed like an entirely different person.

"Yeah, sure," Renji agrees. "Like you would tell at a campfire, or when you're snowed in."

"We have books like that, here in civilization."

Renji looks confused. "But wouldn't the story just be the same every time?"

Izuru shrugs. "That is a limit of the medium, I suppose." He doesn't keep too many novels at school, but he does have a few. He immediately rejects all that have even the vaguest romantic subplot. Here's one that's almost entirely descriptions of the protagonist hacking his way through the War Beneath the Earth, described in loving detail. Izuru can't even remember if it has any female characters. He can remember that Momo hates it. "Here. Give this a try."

Renji looks deeply skeptical, but he sits up, rearranging his blanket cocoon, and accepts the book.

Izuru has been working on homework, but if Renji can take a day, so can he. He picks up the novel he hasn't touched in a week, and settles on his own bed, mirroring Renji.

Just two nerds, reading in their room, on a Saturday morning. This is nice.

---

The sky has clouded over but good, and fat raindrops are smacking against the window. So much for this morning's beautiful sunshine.

Izuru is engrossed in his book when there's a sharp rap at the window. He and Renji look up simultaneously to see Momo's rain-streaked face smushed against the glass. Both boys scramble to their feet to let her in.

"What are you doing, sneaking in here in the middle of the day?" Izuru exclaims.

"It's awful out there and about to get nastier," Momo explains. "No one's going to catch me. I brought supplies." She opens up the bag she's managed to haul up her two-story climb. "First of all, Izuru told me what he gave you to read, and it's unacceptable, so I went to the library for you." She unloads a pile of books into Renji's arms. He looks stricken. "Does that mean I have to stop reading mine? Because I really like it. It might be my favorite book."

Momo gives Izuru a dirty look, then turns back to Renji. "You may do whatever makes you happy," she offers generously. "Then, when you read my books, you will appreciate them more."

Izuru rolls his eyes.

"Next, have you been eating?"

"Stop being his mom," Izuru scolds. "And he ate the onigiri I brought him at lunchtime."

"Never had a mom," Renji ponders. "Momo can be my mom if she wants. You can be my dad, if it makes you feel better."

Their faces are both bright red. "Let's just stick with what we've got, okay?" Izuru suggests.

"Anyway, I was worried you hadn't eaten anything, so I went down to town and got you these." Momo presses a slightly greasy paper bag into his hands.

An overwhelmed, emotional look has come into Renji's eyes. "Is it taiyaki?"

"It is taiyaki," she confirms. "Eat it or not, it won't hurt my feelings." She clears her throat. "I have one more thing for you. If you don't want it--"

"I get it, already! You two are being so nice I'm gonna puke!"

Momo pulls a lumpy grey mass from her bag and thrusts it at Renji.

Very slowly, almost reverently, he puts his taiyaki bag down on his desk and accepts it.

Izuru doesn't get it. It looks like a standard issue dorm blanket, just like the one Renji uses.

Renji's fingers tighten in the scratchy wool. "How did you…?"

"It technically belongs with the room although I hear people make off with them all the time. I asked her roommate if I could swap it out with mine. I use one from home, so--"

Oh. Oh.

Renji cuts off her babbling with a rib-snapping hug. "Thank you, Momo," he whispers, his voice thick.

#1500 follower deleted scenes fest #me: this is so sappy and gross #also me: tearing up like 3 times at my own stupid writing

4 notes · View notes

strawwritesfic · 1 year

Note

Hello Straw! It has been years so I am actually super stoked and happy to find you still active in fic writing!

Since The Last Of Us TV series has been coming out I vaguely remembered reading a fic of Joel x Reader that I believe was by you because it was so well written. She was an amputee and had lost her arm from a bite, but that was the only detail I can remember. I read it on Lunaescence and have been trying to look for it again, so I thought I’d shoot in the dark as I couldn’t find it on your master lists. If this doesn’t ring a bell, so sorry—but I hope your creativity continues boundlessly as it has been since I read that fic of yours in 2013.

Cheers!!!

Aw, that's sweet of you to say! I'm glad people have enjoyed stuff I wrote even a long time ago.

Yes, that sounds like my Last of Us fic, (Don't) Hold Your Breath. Unfortunately, it's not available online at the moment. I mean, it's probably accessible somewhere, because it's the Internet. But I tried posting it on Tumblr a while back, got absolutely no interest, became embarrassed myself by the amount of swearing in it, and deleted it off Ao3, which was the one place I had posted it after Luna uh...did whatever the heck Luna did.

I was actually considering brushing the fic off and editing it before I realized there was a TV show (and no, I will not be watching it, because I am a coward), but I don't actually have a copy of anything more than my handwritten draft for a new chapter right now. I thought I had a copy in my email, but it turns out I deleted that email along with the fic.

There should be a copy of it on my old laptop, but that started acting weird almost a year ago and I turned it off and haven't actually turned it on since, since I didn't want to make the hard drive worse before I had time to try salvaging anything. I'm kinda scared to try charging it up and turning it on now. I need to, but ahhhh. What if everything is gone?

Anyway! Yeah, it's not really around right now. If I can retrieve it (and at this point in time, I don't know when I'll have time), I've had several people ask about it, and I'd be interested in editing it a little and reposting it. It's really touching that so many people remember that old thing fondly even after all these years. Thank you for your kind words, and have a nice morning/afternoon/night/whatever it is where you are!

#not fic #ask #delvalentine #the last of us #tlou

3 notes · View notes

silly4sillinger · 2 months

Text

𝙁𝙇𝙐𝙁𝙁 𝙋𝙍𝙊𝙈𝙋𝙏𝙎 1."Get off mee." "I'm trying to love you!" 2."I look so bad today." "Take it back. You do not." 3."I would have moved but you were using me as a pillow." 4."You're an idiot." "Wrong! I'm not just an idiot, I'm your idiot." 5."You drove all the way here at two in the morning just to cuddle?" "I missed you…" 6."Did you steal my hoodie again?" 7."If you really loved me, youd let me warm my hands on you." "Absolutely not. You just had ice-cream." 8."Come cuddle with me." 9."If you need me, I'll be laying in our king size bed. All by myself. Lonely. Wishing my boyfriend/girlfriend would love me…" 10."What on earth are you doing?" "Trying to cuddle with you." 11."Why are you crying? What's wrong?" 12."Stop hogging all the blankets!" 13."Did you just kiss me to shut me up?" "No… Definitely not." 14."Um, uh-" "Shut up and kiss me you big idiot." 15."Stop flirting with me." "Sorry darling, I can't, watching you get flustered is the highlight of my day." 16."Steal the blankets again and I'm kicking your ass off of the bed." "You wouldn't. You love me too much." 17."Quit wiping my kisses off…" 18."Baaaaabe!" 19."So you actually like me?" "We're literally engaged and getting married next year. What do you think, dumbass?" 20."I missed you." "I just went to the store? But I missed you too." 21."Go to sleep. I'll still be here when you wake up." 22."I love you, every single part of you. Even the parts you dont like."

23."Delete that. I look disgusting." "No you don't. I think you look pretty." 24."why are you still awake?" "I can't sleep." 25."Can I pleaseeeee have some attention." 26."Who knew that all it would take for you to admit that you like being little spoon was getting sick." 27."Wake up, sleepy." "Mhmt hm." "Even if I brought you breakfast in bed? Well, it's more like brunch now, but still." 28."You're safe. I got you." 29."Is that my shirt?" 30."I could listen to your heartbeat forever." 31."You're safe. I got you." 32.B staring at their drunk partner while they blabber on about how much they love them. 33.A falls asleep on B while B plays with their hair. 34.C walks in on A and B cuddling and tries to act disgusted even though they were the one to set them up. 35.B gets hurt and A takes care of them. 36.A is sad and B does everything to try and cheer them up.

1 note · View note

stimmy-chloe · 5 years

Text

Man, y’all :)) I didn’t start getting ready for bed on time last night because someone was talking to me :))) and :)))) He is for some reason literally so fucking stressful for me to talk to that my routine being broken appearing to be combined with that made me almost have :)))) a complete fucking full-blown meltdown :))))) and I’ve been feeling like shit almost nonstop since he started talking to me one-on-one three days ago :))))))))) It’s been fun :))))))))))

#Chloe complains #Possibly delete later - Idk man I seriously need to get this out. Will delete for sure if it turns out this guy has a Tumblr account #Religion mention #Self-harm tw #Disclaimer: 'It's been fun' is sarcastic. It hasn't been fun at all #Disclaimer number two: This isn't about any of my friends and family. This is about someone super specific who I doubt has a Tumblr #To be fair he was feeling sad and crying and (I think you could say he was) begging me to cheer him up so I couldn't just leave him...#But... y'all I seriously don't do well when I can't go to bed on time and follow my routine. It's seriously important to me #How much I lost it last night: The second my alarm on my phone to get ready for bed began going off #and I realized I wasn't going to be able to get ready for bed on time I IMMEDIATELY began hitting myself #And I literally almost fucking screamed at the top of my lungs (somehow just making a VERY loud squeal kept me from screaming)#And I spent around 7 minutes just hitting myself and squealing and just making very loud vocal sounds and hyperventilating #Oh and I also bit myself. Go figure #The self-injury came despite my best efforts to resist it. I initially fought it off well but I unfortunately ended up caving in to my urges #Fast-forward to this morning and I feel guilty as hell because... well... I'm being selfish and over-dramatic aren't I? It feels like it #But this guy... He's so fucking stressful to me for some reason #He spams you with 'HELLO' and your name the vast majority of the time if you don't reply to his messages within a minute #He messages me constantly too. That alone would *probably* be fine if it weren't for him spamming me if I don't reply right away #It's overwhelming. It's stressful. Just him messaging me on Discord is enough to give me the impulse to scream and self-injure #He makes me feel VERY similar to how I felt about my ex when we started talking again briefly last year #(That would be incredibly stressed and trapped and in the case of my ex literally depressed)#96% of the emotions I've felt around this guy have been bad. The good ones have been quite minimal #I don't know if someone should be making me feel this way. Last night I literally prayed to God to make the guy stop talking to me #I've never prayed for something like that before (not even with my ex if I'm correct) and I of course feel guilty for it #But my ability? to handle talking to him without getting upset in any way?? Pretty much nonexistent #This would be the part where I'd be like 'maybe I should terminate the friendship' but here's the thing...#Friendo seems to be pretty good friends with this guy. I'm afraid if I terminate the friendship it might cause tension between both of us #So like... what do I do? See about ending the friendship anyways? Find some way to cope with the stress? Get the hell over myself?#I have no idea. Anyways I need to eat breakfast and begin preparing for my therapy appointment later today #And also prepare for today's inevitable meltdown that I'm expecting to be significant :))))

4 notes · View notes

let-me-luve-you · 3 years

Text

Oscars Over Birthdays

Tom x Sister

Summary: The day Tom gets fantastic news is the same day your family forgot about your birthday.

Warnings: forgotten birthday, angst, slight cussing, rude family, fluff ending

MASTERLIST

You woke up and smiled as you smelled Sam cooking your favorite breakfast meal, cinnamon waffles. Tom introduced you to them on your grub tour in New York City. Weirdly enough, only the two of you liked them. The rest of the family didn’t. You quickly got dressed and had to stop yourself from running downstairs. You walked into the kitchen with a smile on your face seeing all four brothers and your parents there.

“What do we have here? Is that cinnamon waffles I smell?” You asked, faking confusion as why your favorite breakfast was being made.

“We have some celebrating to do Y/N.” Dom said, smiling at you.

“Tom has been nominated for an Oscar.” Nikki said. You looked at Tom shocked.

“Oh my gosh T!” You said running over to him to give him a hug. “That’s amazing! I’m so proud of you.”

“Thanks Y/N/N.” He smiled at you.

You walked over to the counter and made you a plate. Sam smiled at you as you grabbed a couple of extra waffles. “Eat up Y/N. I’m making a big dinner tonight. Everyone is coming.”

“Really?” You said trying to hide the smile of maybe your family was going to surprise you with a small party.

“Yup. Haz, Tuwaine, and the rest of the gang will be here.” Harry said.

“Cool.” You said trying not to sound hurt. You sat through breakfast and everyone just talked about Tom’s nomination and the rest of the nominations. You were quieter than normal, but your family didn’t notice.

You got a text around lunchtime from your best friend Ryann. It was always tradition to go out and eat on each other’s birthdays. No matter what your schedules were.

“Hey Y/N.” She said as you sat across from her at your favorite Italian restaurant. “How’s your birthday so far? What did your parents get you? What did your brothers get you?”

You sighed, “it’s been alright. I haven’t gotten anything. They haven’t even acknowledged my birthday yet. I thought maybe they would surprise me with dinner tonight when they mentioned Sam cooking, but they are doing it for Tom.”

“I saw that online this morning. I’m happy for him, but that’s no reason to forget your birthday.” Ryann said. You sighed once again and nodded in agreement. “Well you know what, forget it. I’ll give you the best birthday ever just with my presence.”

“My day is already better.” You said with a laugh, but you actually meant it. Throughout lunch, you and Ryann joked around and talked. You hadn't seen her in over a week due to her work schedule working against yours. It was nice to catch up in person.

“Here. I know you told me not to buy you anything, but I couldn’t help myself. Now after you telling me about your morning, I’m glad I did.” She said handing you a gift bag with Happy Birthday on it. You gave her a glare but she could see happiness in your eyes.

You took out the tissue paper and pulled out a basket with a bunch of small gifts in it. You saw a bath bomb with some bath salts, all of your favorite snacks, the new Ryan Reynolds movie, and an envelope. You gently set the basket onto the table and pulled out the card. You felt the thickness of it and glanced up at your friend. Ryann just smirked at you as you opened the card and saw a bunch of gift cards to your favorite restaurants, your favorite cafe, and your favorite shops.

“You didn’t?” You asked, shocked seeing the multiple different gift cards.

“Oh but I did because you deserve it.” She said smiling brightly at you.

“I don’t deserve you.” You said as you started to tear up. “This is too much.”

“No it’s not. Plus it makes up for that trip to LA you bought me.” Ryann said matter of factly.

“I invited you to Tom’s premiere. It only made sense to pay for it.”

“Yeah, but then you continued to buy everything. Even bought my dress for the premiere.” She said with a raised eyebrow.

You sighed before setting the card down and getting up to hug her. “Thank you Ry. You’ve made this birthday one of the best.”

She looked at you sadly, “I’m here to always make your days better.” You grabbed your gift and moved to exit the restaurant. Ryann followed. “Will you let me know how it goes with your family?”

“Yeah. Hopefully they’ve remembered by now.” You said sadly. “You’re welcome to come over for dinner tonight. Tom won’t be mad at you crashing his celebration dinner.”

“I’m meeting with Jake tonight or I would.” She said. When she looked up at you she added, “but I can reschedule. He’ll understand.”

“No, don't do that. You two are so close to making it official, I don’t want to get in the way of that.”

“You would never get in the way. Jake likes you and he knows how much you mean to me.” Ryann said as you stopped at your car.

“Please don’t cancel on him.” You begged. “Just call me when you get home so I can hear all about it.”

“I will.” Ryann gave you one last hug before she walked to her car. You got into yours and drove to your house. When you walked in, you could hear a movie playing and the light sound of your family talking. You walked upstairs to your room to set your gift down. When you walked back downstairs, you decided to join Sam in the kitchen.

“Hey Sammy.” You said as you sat at the counter.

“Hey Y/N/N. Where have you been?” He asked. He kept his head down as he chopped the vegetables.

“Ryann took me to lunch.” You said.

“Fun. Hopefully you didn’t feel up too much? I’m cooking a big feast.” He said jokingly.

“I’ll always have room for your cooking. What are you making for dessert?” You asked, hoping maybe it would be your favorite pie or red velvet cupcakes.

“Crepe bar.” He said lifting his knife to point towards the table in the corner where the fillings already set. You stared at it for a moment so you could hide the disappointment from Sam.

“Yum. I love your crepes.” You turned and smiled at Sam. He smiled back. “What movie are they watching in there?”

“I think they’re watching that new KJ Apa movie. What is it?”

“Songbird?” You asked.

“Yeah that’s it’s. Have you seen it yet?” He asked.

“No but I’ve been wanting to. I’m not going to walk in there to start it in the middle. I’m going to go take a nap.” You said standing up. “Come get me when dinner is ready.”

“Okay, I will.” He said, turning towards the stove. You walked upstairs and went into your room. You felt tears building in your eyes but you refused to cry on your birthday. After shutting your door, you threw yourself onto your bed and pulled out your phone. You don’t get on social media much, but figured it was time just to do a quick check on all of it. You got on Twitter first and saw that Tom was trending. You clicked on it to see what everyone was saying.

Tom being nominated for an Oscar is what he deserves.

We stan an Oscar nominated king

You kept scrolling through the fans congratulating Tom when you saw one that caught your eye.

Tom being nominated for an Oscar on his sister’s (who’s his best friend) birthday is what I live for. Congrats Tom and happy birthday Y/N. You didn’t want to post until later tonight so you wouldn’t get bombarded with tweets, so you saved the tweet to thank the fan later. You then decided to search your name. You knew looking yourself up brought nothing but pain, but you wanted to see what people were saying. Seeing if anyone else wished you a happy birthday. What you didn’t expect was everyone hating on you for being the only family member that hadn’t posted about Tom’s nomination.

You knew it shouldn’t bother you because you had told Tom personally, but it hurt that these fans were saying such horrible things because you didn’t post on social media. You saw some try to defend you, but then you saw a fan had taken a picture of you and Ryann at lunch.

Y/N can’t congratulate Tom for his Oscar nomination but she can go out to lunch with a friend. What a bitch.

You immediately closed the app and took a deep breath. You’re not a bitch. You were spending your birthday with your best friend. There’s nothing wrong with that, you thought to yourself. You decide to delete the social media apps off your phone so you didn’t risk getting back on them today. You set your phone down and stared at the ceiling. Insecure thoughts flooding your mind.

You didn’t remember falling asleep but when you woke up you saw Tom smiling down at you. “It’s about time you woke up. I’ve been trying to wake you for five minutes.” He laughed.

“Sorry. I didn’t realize I fell asleep.” You whispered. Tom leaned down and kissed your forehead.

“Come on. Everyone is here and dinner is ready.” Tom said, pulling you up from the bed. “After dinner, we are getting a fire started in the backyard.” You smiled at him and followed him to the dining room.

You sat down and noticed all of your family sitting there with Tuwaine and Harrison sitting there as well. You could tell they were all waiting on you.

“Good nap Y/N?” Harry said laughing.

“Shut up.” You whispered as you stared at him.

“This dinner is for Tom.” Dom said, raising his glass to cheers Tom. “He worked his butt off to get to this point and it’s only the beginning. Cheers.”

“Cheers!” Everyone said as they held up their drinks. You turned and smiled at Tom.

“I know I said it earlier, but I’m extremely proud of you. I'm glad I have you as my role model. Love you.” You whispered and kissed his cheek.

“Thank you Y/N/N.” He said smiling at you. “I love you too.”

Dinner went by quickly with everyone talking and laughing. You couldn’t remember the last time you had all sat down and ate dinner like this. Now you all sat outside around the fire pit. You sat next to Tom and shared a blanket with him. You just sat back and watched everyone interact. You get lost in your thoughts wondering how your family could forget your birthday. After an hour of sitting there, you decided you would go to bed. Even though it was still early, you just wanted to be alone.

“It’s been fun you guys, but I’m off to bed.” You said.

“Are you sick? You’ve been sleeping a lot today.” Nikki said, full of worry.

“No, I'm not sick. Just didn’t get a lot of sleep last night.” You lied. “Thanks for dinner Sam. And congrats again Tom. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Goodnight Y/N.” You heard everyone say. You walked up stairs and switched into pajamas. You were too mentally exhausted to shower. You figured you could just do it in the morning. Once your head hit your pillow, you were out.

Outside everyone kept talking. Harry was explaining something that he learned on set. Tom had heard the story a thousand times already so he pulled his phone out and got on Instagram for the first time today. He was scrolling through his timeline to see what his friends were doing when he came across a post Ryann had posted. He saw his sister smiling at the camera as she sat at a restaurant with a piece of cake in front of her with a sparkler candle on top. He looked at it confused and decided to slide through the multiple pictures. He saw one picture of her with a basket of goodies in front of her as she read a card. He scrolled down enough to see the caption.

A happiest 23rd birthday to my best friend and soulmate. I’m so lucky I got to spend time with you on your birthday. I love you and hope you have an amazing day.

Tom gulped as he stared at the phone with wide eyes. Paddy noticed his older brothers change in demeanor.

“What is it Tom?” Paddy asked concern. Tom looked up to him with pain lacing his eyes.

“Your nudes get leaked or something?” Harry joked. Nikki slapped him in the back of the head.

“It’s Y/N birthday.” Tom said. Everyone went silent. “We forgot her fucking birthday.” Tom stood up and paced. He was mad at himself for letting himself forget his best friend’s birthday. You and Tom had always been so close that everyone thought you were twins. You were only a year apart. It made sense that people would suggest that. Some even said they didn’t think Sam and Harry were the twins in the family.

“That’s why she’s been quiet today. We’re so horrible. I can’t believe I forgot my daughter’s birthday.” Nikki whispered more to herself but everyone heard. Tom looked at his parents and siblings before walking towards the house. He quickly walked in and ran to your room. He hoped you weren’t asleep yet. When he knocked on the door and didn’t get an answer, he decided to walk in. Your face was lit up from the lamp on your bedside table. What hurt Tom even more was he could see the tears that stained your face.

“Y/N?” He asked quietly. Thinking maybe you weren’t asleep. When he got no response and didn’t even see you flinch, he knew you were out for the night. He grabbed your extra pillow and blanket and sat next to your bed.

The next morning you woke up. Your eyes feel like sandpaper from crying. You didn’t even remember crying, but with the emotions from the day before it made sense you would. You gently sat up and jumped when you saw a figure lying on the floor. You leaned over to see Tom asleep.

“Tom?” You asked. He didn’t move. You got up and sat next to him. “Tom?” You asked again as you shook him. Tom slowly opened his eyes and looked around confused before looking at you. “Why are you sleeping on my floor?”

“I came in here shortly after you left so I could say how sorry I am for not remembering your birthday.”

You sighed. “It’s okay Tom. You got amazing news yester-“

Tom interrupted you, “it’s not okay. I don’t care if I was elected queen of England, no news is big enough to forget your birthday.”

“Queen of England?” You asked with raised eyebrows and a smirk.

“I think I would be an amazing queen.” He said with a small laugh. “Seriously though, I feel horrible.” Tom pulled you to him. You nestled your head into the crook of his neck. “I’m going to spend the day making it up to you. I promise. So get dressed. We’re starting with breakfast.”

You nodded and pulled away trying to hide the smile on your face. After getting dressed you walked downstairs and heard your family talking in the living room. When you walked in your whole family looked at you.

“Happy birthday Y/N!” They all yelled. Nikki ran over to you and crushed you in a hug. “I’m so sorry baby. We’re going to celebrate you tonight.”

“Yeah! I’ll cook all of your favorites.” Sam said.

“Don’t do that. You cooked all day yesterday.” Sam went to protest, “how about just make some red velvet cupcakes and we’ll call it good. We can order a pizza and have a nice family movie night.”

“Deal.” Sam said. After all members of your family apologized, you turned to Tom.

“Are you ready? I’m hungry.” You said with a pout.

“Then let’s go. Anyone want to join us for breakfast? We are also going to get lunch as well.”

“We will join you for lunch. Enjoy the morning together.” Dom said. Tom smiled at him before he turned to you and held his arm out for you to grab so he could lead you to the car.

“I’m going to treat you like the queen you are today. So if you want to do anything specific, just tell me.” Tom said as he got into the car with you.

“Just spending time with you and everyone else is enough. Thank you for making up for yesterday. I appreciate it.”

“I’ll go all out next year to fully make up for it.” He said.

“As long as there’s a bounce castle.” You joked with a laugh but Tom knew you weren’t joking.

#tom holland #tom holland imagines #tom holland fanfic #tom holland fanfiction #brother!tom holland #brother!tom holland x sister!reader #tom holland sister #tom holland x sister!reader #tom holland x sister #tom holland x reader #tom holland x holland!reader #tom holland x y/n #holland!reader #holland!sister #tom holland rpf #y/n holland #tom holland angst #tom holland one shot

827 notes · View notes

jaycewrites-192000 · 3 years

Text

Growl: Chapter 6

Warnings: None

Tags: @theravencawsatmidnight @etroman @kaariqueen

Your P.O.V

I sat on my bed, phone in hand trying to think of what to say to Kyotani. I would type out a few words then immediately delete it, because it sounded really dumb or really desperate. "Why is this so hard?" I groaned. I could say whatever to Iwaizumi and Oikawa and it wouldn't bother me later on, but with Kyotani...I just really don't want to mess this up. I looked back down at my phone screen, took a deep breath and typed.

Me: Hey Kyotani, it's me Y/n, did you make it back home?

I held my phone to my chest, I didn't even want to see the speech bubble pop up. But when it did, and my phone dinged, my stomach did a backflip. I looked at my phone.

Kyotani: Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah? That was all he typed? I sighed slightly, well, he never was a man of many words.

Me: That's good. So, about coming over again. How does tomorrow night sound?

"Wow, way to be clingy." I mutter.

Kyotani: Sounds good.

I blinked a few times. "Whoa really? That worked?"

Me: Cool! I'll see you then.

Kyotani: See ya.

I let out a weak sigh and fell back onto my bed. Before I fell asleep I went back to the texts and changed Kyotani's name to:

🐶Mad Puppy🐶

He might have the personality of a feral wolf, but he could be as cute a little puppy. I smiled softly before drifting off to sleep.

Your P.O.V

Your alarm jerked your awake early the next day. With a groan you sat up and turned it off and checked your phone, you gasped when you saw what day it was. "It's Saturday!!" You cheered before flopping back down on your bed. It might be immature for you to act like a child when it came to the weekend, but Jesus did you hate waking up early to go to some boring classes for eight hours a day. Besides, you had a very important day ahead of you. Tonight was the night you went over to Kyotani's place for dinner. The grin on your face only grew wider. "It's like a date...only his mom is going to be there too..."

Speaking of moms, you needed to tell your mom you wouldn't be home early tonight. "Oh great. She's never going to get off my back over this." You sighed. You got up and changed out of your pajama's and into some comfy clothes before heading downstairs. Your mother was just on her way out it the door once you got to the bottom of the stairs. "Hey mom!" You called, making her stop. "Yes sweetie?" She turns to face you. "Um, is it cool if I go over to a friends for dinner tonight?"

"Hm? You mean Iwaizumi?" She asks. "No, not him."

"Oikawa?"

"No."

"...uh, then who?" She mutters.

"A new friend. Remember that intense guy I told you about? His name is Kyotani." You tell her. "Huh, I see. Well first I'm happy that you're making new friends sweetie." Your mother smiled. "But are you sure this "intense" guy is a friend? I just want to make sure you're not being bullied."

"I'm not being bullied. He is a pretty angry person at times but, he's actually really cool too." Your mother took a minute to think about it. "Alright, you can go. Do apologize to them for me. I won't be there."

"You won't?" Your mother shook her head. "I work late tonight. I won't be home until midnight. Which I expect you to be home before then, understand?" Your mother raised an eyebrow. "Yes, I promise. I'll tell them." Your mother pats your head and opened the front door. "Good, I'll see you later." She waves before leaving the house. "Of course you're working late again." You mutter as you walk into the living room. It never use to bother you as much before, but the more you thought about it and the more you watch her leave, the more it bothered you. She was always working, even during the weekends. You two hardly ever talked at times. You sat on the couch and decided to watch your favorite show to pass the time.

After a while, your phone dinged.

Shittykawa: Heeeeeey L/n-Chan! Wanna hang out? I'm free all day~😙

. . . . .

Shittykawa: Don't ignore me!😫

You: That was my answer.

Shittykawa: Your answer was pure silence?

You: Yeah. 😒

Shittykawa: Whatever.🙄 What are you up to?

You: Lazying about. Something you would know well huh, Lazykawa?

Shittykawa: So. Rude. What about later tonight?

You: Can't. I have plans.

Shittykawa: Liiiiike?

You: What's it to you?

Shittykawa: Come on! The least you can do is tell me!

You: Uggggh! I have dinner plans with Kyotani ok!?

. . .

You: Shittykawa?

Shittykawa: YOU HAVE A DATE WITH MAD DOG!?

You: It's not a date!!!

Shittykawa: Really? You? Him? Dinner??? Is it not clicking L/n-Chan?

You: His mom is going to be there, dumbass.

Shittykawa: I just can't believe it... You. And Mad Dog??? Of all people???

Me: What's so wrong with that?

Shittykawa: First, I can't believe you chose him over me 😭 Second, he's not exactly the ladies man. He's more the, scare and intimidate everyone he comes in contact with, man.

Me: Oh shut up Shittykawa. Kyotani's cool. Now if you'll excuse me, he's texting me right now. So I'm gonna get to that if you don't mind 😡 Besides, we all know you gay af.

You didn't bother to read what Oikawa texted next.

Mad Puppy: Hey. You still on for tonight?

You: Yeah totally! I'm really looking forwards to it.

Mad Puppy: Cool. My mom's been pestering me about it all fucking morning. It's like she's trying to play matchmaker. It's ducking creepy.

Your heart twinged a bit at that.

You: Oh yeah? Sorry to hear that.

Mad Puppy: It's whatever. Just telling you ahead of time, she's gonna keep this up the whole night. I just know she is. Anyway, I'll call you later ok? I gotta take Killer on a walk.

You: Ok. Talk to you later.

You bury your face in your hands. You had a feeling that tonight was going to take a lot out of you.

Later that night you stayed close by your phone, just waiting for that call from Kyotani. You had already gotten ready ahead of time, just so you would have to be in a rush later. You wore a short (color) dress with leggings.

(I know that must suck, but give me a break idk what outfit description would satisfy you all lol)

You didn't want to be super dressy but you didn't want to look like a bum in front of Kyotani and his mom. Speaking of, your phone lit up as the ringer went off. You scramble to pick up your phone before answering. "H-hello?"

"Hey, just checking in. You all ready to go?"

"Yep, I'm ready. I'll be over soon."

"Oh uh, actually...I'm on my way to your place....I didn't want you to walk alone at night."

You held back an "aw", you knew it would make him mad. "That's really nice of you Kyotani. Thank you."

"Yeah, I just figured you'd feel more comfortable if you were with someone. Anyway, I'll be there in a few."

"Ok. I'll see you then." You hung up and held your phone to your chest, the brightest smile on your face. Who knew Kyotani could be so nice? You never thought that you would have fallen for someone who looks pissed 24/7, but here you are.

Shortly after, Kyotani was knocking at your door. You took a deep breath and opened the door. "Hi." You say softly. "Hey." He responds. "You ready to go?" You nod and walk out the door before shutting it. "Oh yeah, forgot to mention, my sister will be there too." He tells you. "Really? What's she like?"

"She's a l bitch." Kyotani says bluntly. "Oh come on." You laugh. "Is she really that horrible?" Kyotani nods. "Yep." You just rolled your eyes. You didn't have a brother or sister, but you understood that siblings would pick fights and "resent" each other from time to time. "Is your dad gonna be there too?" Kyotani remained silent, his eyes narrowed. "No." Oh....You decided not to press for more questions, not yet at least. You didn't want to ruin the night by bringing up touchy subjects.

Before you knew it, you were at his home. Kyotani knocked on the door, which was immediately answered by his mom and Killer, who was barking and jumping on you. "Oh, look at you Y/n! You look stunning! Doesn't she Kentaro?" His mom gushed. Kyotani nods. "Come on in! Dinner is just about ready!" You thanked her before stepping inside. At the table was a girl with black hair and the same yellow eyes as Kyotani sat. She wasn't really paying attention to anything or anyone, aside from her phone, which she tapped away on. "Natsuki, we have a guest. Put that thing down for once!" Her mom says as she walks to the stove. Natsuki sighs heavily and puts her phone down. "Hey." She mutters. "You my dumb little brother's girlfriend or something?" You and Kyotani's faces turn red.

"Shut your trap, Natsuki!" Kyotani growls. "She's way too pretty for you, mutt." She smirks. "I said shut it!"

"Both of you shut up!" Their mother yells. "Sorry about my two idiots Y/n." She smiles. You just wave it off. "Uh, don't worry about it." Kyotani and Natsuki's mother set down a very delicious meal on the table. Everyone sat down and gave thanks for the meal before digging in. "Wow. This is really good!" You say as you take another bite. Kaori smiles warmly. "I'm glad you like it. You should take some home for your family. I may have gotten carried away and made a little too much. I was just so surprised that my son brought over such a sweet and beautiful young lady!" Kyōtani grumbles a curse under his curse. Your face warmed up. "I'm kinda surprised myself." You admit.

"Same here. Ken has always been weird. Never thought girls would be interested in him." Natsuki says bluntly. "Tsk. And I never thought guys would be into you, guess I was right, huh?" Kyotani counters. The two siblings were caught in a glare off with each other. "I say cut it out, both of you!" Kaori hissed.

The rest of the night was filled with conversations about school, and marriage, much to Kyotani's dismay, and just causal convo. There were more compliments about how nice and cute you were from his mom, and some questions from his sister for you like "so how much did my brother pay you to hang out with him?". They had to be one of the most chaotic family you've met, but you did enjoy their company. It was getting late, time for you to head home. Once again, Kyotani walked you home. "Thanks again." You smile softly. "Yeah, sorry about my mom and sister. Must have been exhausting." You shook your head. "They were great. I had a really good time tonight. Make sure you get back home safe ok?" Kyotani nods. "See ya." He turned ad walked away. You wave before walking inside your home. Your mother still wasn't home, you decided to head up stairs and catch up on your favorite anime.

While watching, your phone dinged. You looked down to see a text from Kyotani.

🐶Mad Puppy🐶 I had a good time too. Night

You smiled and texted back.

You Good night 😊

Previous | Next

#kyotani kentaro x reader #kyotani kentaro #haikyuu!!#haikyuu kyoutani #haikyuu mad dog #mad dog

25 notes · View notes

sunflowerim · 3 years

Text

I LOVE YOU 3000!

-PART 43

Louis woke up to the incessant ringing of his doorbell. He tried to get up in a rush and almost stumbled over the bed. He sat back again after trying to stand up, his head pounding loudly. He couldn't register anything for a while and somehow pulled himself back up to answer the door.

Liam stood at door, bearing two cappuccinos and a smile as always.

The sight of Liam seemed to bring him back to reality and slowly, the events of the night came back to him.

"Good morning Louis," Liam's cheerful voice boomed as he entered the apartment.

"Jesus will you keep it down," Louis said clutching his head. "I'm right in front of you. No need to shout."

"Ah the beauty of hangover."

"Shut up."

"Here, I got you coffee, freshen up and then I'll drive you to work."

Louis readily took the coffee, thanking Liam in his mind and sitting up on the kitchen counter.

"Why did you disturb me so early? And why did you ring the bell so many times?" Louis said between sips. "You could have just called."

"I would have. But I'd texted you last night and you didn't answer so I thought I'll see for myself."

"Zayn told you?"

"Kinda."

"I don't wanna talk about it anymore. It's done."

"You don't have to talk mate. I'm here anyways."

At that moment, Louis felt really grateful for his two friends, who understood him so well and always rushed to help him. Unlike someone else ofcourse. No no. No. He wouldn't let his thoughts stray in that direction. He wouldn't think about Harry.

"You look tired Lou. Check if you can skip work today."

"No Liam, I don't wanna sit around moping. I will go to work."

"As you wish."

In the meantime, Louis' helper arrived too and started making breakfast for Liam and Louis who had settled in the couch and were watching re-runs of an old England vs Croatia footie match.

Louis picked up his phone from the coffee table to check for important messages, when

"Just blocked Harry's number. Now, I wanna block Harry from twitter too," Louis started suddenly.

"Um don't you think you're rushing?"

"I'm alright."

"Blocking his number is okay I guess. Whatever makes you uncomfortable. But blocking on twitter will be a public scene. Like remember how quickly his update accounts catch things? So if you block him, you'll be removed from his following and the update accounts will go Harry Styles unfollowed Louis Tomlinson. So just ignore the twitter thing for now."

Louis sat in silence for a while, contemplating his choices, then sighed, "I suppose you're right. But I'll delete the picture I'd posted on twitter. I'm sure no update account is keeping a track of my tweets. Fuck him."

They sat around for a little more and after a while Liam drove Louis to work.

PREVIOUS / NEXT

INTRO

24 notes · View notes

sleepynobie · 4 years

Text

Drawing (Mori x Reader)

(A/N: A fluff with Mori! Enjoy :3)

As someone who loves to draw, you just can't bear to draw at home all the time. You need to go out to the park with your sketchbook, sitting with your back on a tree as you draw and listen to the music. It's just healing for you when you're surrounded by nature and able to feel the fresh air, although it can be difficult as an introvert when some kids suddenly approach you and get excited as they look at your drawing. But today, it's not a kid who approach you.

It's your classmate, Mori Jin.

"Woah!! You're really good at drawing!"

At first, you don't notice that Mori is next to you as he watches you draw the environment in front of you. But, you start to feel something is close to you which breaks your focus on the drawing and turn your attention to the left. Then, you finally notice that someone is crouching next to you while watching you draw which makes you look startled that you move away from him.

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to startle you!" Mori quickly apologises before grinning sheepishly "I'm just really impressed at your drawing so I wanna see how it's going to turn out"

"N-N-No! It's fine!" You stutter a little since you're still flustered before calming yourself down and take off your earbuds "I didn't expect you to be here, Mori Jin"

However, Mori seems to look confused as if he doesn't know you and that shit stings yet at the same time not surprising. There's a reason why people call you the real-life Kuroko.

"I guess you don't know me huh..." You say and look dejected which makes Mori flinch.

"W-Well I uhh..." He tries to remember if he ever saw you but nothing comes into mind before he apologises "I'm sorry... I don't know you"

"That's okay" You sigh before smiling "I'm (Name), we're in the same class"

"You are?!" He looks shocked and you nod.

"I sit at the last row near the window. I tend to be quiet and don't like to stand out so that's why I don't have a strong presence, unlike you"

"I see" Mori says before grinning "I'll greet you in the class next time alright?!"

You quickly imagine how Mori will greet you loudly to the point it will attract the whole class's attention to both of you. And that would be the worst scenario because you don't want all eyes on you.

"As long as you don't shout, I'm okay with it-"

"Also, just call me Mori okay?" He interjects with a smile and offers his hand for a handshake which you reciprocate.

"Okay, Mori" It feels a bit weird when it's the first time you talk to him. But anyway, at least Mori knows you now.

"So, do you draw people too?" Mori suddenly asks which you immediately nod in response while you turn off the music on your phone and keep your earbuds in your bag.

"I draw everything including people. But I'm still learning though.. I'm not good with anatomy"

"Really?" He looks at you with awe before he stands in front of you "Then, can you draw me?"

"I can but don't expect much from me" You say unconfidently while Mori just proceeds with a high kick pose.

"How about this?"

"That's fine with me but are you sure you can hold on? It'll probably take some time but I'll try my best to draw as fast as I can" You say with a concerned look but he just smiles confidently.

"Don't worry! I can hold this position as long as you want!"

"O-Okay.." You sweatdrop and start drawing on your sketchbook. Well, you don't draw in details since you don't want to tire him for holding his pose (and people start to look at him weirdly which you feel bad about it). But you're impressed that he actually manages to stay still since it takes 20 minutes to finish the sketch. If it's you, you won't last for 5 minutes.

"I'm done" You say after you're done to Mori who finally able to bring his leg down and quickly crouch next to you to see the drawing. Even though it's just a sketch, it impresses him at how well you draw in just 20 minutes.

"That's amazing!!" He says excitedly which makes you blush at his compliment.

"Thank you... It's just a sketch right now but I can refine it and give it to you if you want to"

"Really?!" He looks at you with a happy smile "I never have someone draws me so that will be awesome!"

You nod "Yeap. It's like a practice for me so I enjoy challenging myself in drawing different things"

"I see I see" Mori looks impressed before pointing to his face "Then, what about my face?"

You can see that his eyes sparkle at how he looks forward to seeing you draw his face. Well, you don't mind since it won't attract attention and he doesn't have to tire himself on maintaining a pose. So, you decide to accept it and even let him see the final result instead of the sketch.

But boi you make a wrong choice.

Mori sits in front of you so it's easier for you to see him while drawing on your sketchbook. But the thing is, first, he's staring at you. Second, you keep having different thoughts while you draw such as how does his hair maintain its form? Just how many gels does he use? Isn't this the first time you draw a boy? And, Mori actually looks... attractive? When the last thought pops up, you blush as you look flustered at the sudden thought and your heart begins to race.

"(Name), are you okay? Your cheeks are turning red?" Mori asks as he notices the change in colour on your cheek before leaning closer to you and placing his hand on your forehead "Grandpa said that it's either because of alcohol or fever but you don't seem to have a fever, and we're not drinking alcohol"

That makes you blush even more as you know why that happens before you decide to stop drawing "I'm okay, I'm okay. But I don't think I can finish the drawing today..."

"Ehhhh?" Mori looks slightly disappointed "So.. are you starting to feel unwell? But you don't seem to have a fever-"

"W-Well, I think I overestimate my ability" You interject before looking at him with determination "Anyway, I will finish it as soon as possible! I have pride in my drawing so I won't back down from what I offered"

"Ohhh! You sound cool, (Name)!" His expression changes to awe in a split second since he's distracted before he claps a couple of times which again makes you feel embarrassed at his compliment "But how are you going to finish it if I'm not there for you to see? Unless I have to visit your house or we meet at this park again? Or at school?"

"Well.. I have an idea but" You suddenly look timid and take out your phone "I would need your permission if it's okay to take your photo so I can draw at home or whenever I have free time"

"Sounds great!" Mori agrees immediately before smiling "Take a photo of me then"

"Okay" You nod and position yourself to take a photo of Mori before you tap the camera button to take it "Got it. I will delete the photo as soon as I'm done so don't worry! I won't save your photo!"

You panic for a moment because you don't want to be thought of as a creep. On the other hand, Mori looks confused since he doesn't find any problem with you keeping the photo "Well, I don't really care since it's only a photo of me. I just want to see your drawing!"

"Okay.." You smile slightly "Anyway, I'll try to get it done by Monday”

"Really?! So, I can see it at school?!" His eyes sparkle due to excitement that he's going to see a drawing of him soon which makes you sweatdrop and nod in response. You're still not used to with Mori being hyper.

"Awesome! I can't wait!" He grins "You're the first person who draws me so I wanna see how I look like in a drawing, especially when your drawing is amazing!"

"It's not that great" You smile sheepishly because it's not true to you and Mori exaggerates it "Just don't get your hopes up alright? I'll do my best-"

"You are great though!" He frowns and leans closer to you which makes you blush "I can't draw like you so you have a talent!"

You're not used to in receiving compliments as they make you embarrassed before you thank him shyly "Thank you.."

Mori smiles at you before suddenly, his stomach grumbles due to hunger.

"Well, it's time to eat" He merely says without a hint of embarrassment and retreats while clutching his stomach before looking at you "Do you come here often, (Name)?"

"Not really" You reply "I come here when I want to so it's not a routine thing"

"Ahh I see" Mori sighs in disappointment "I was expecting to see you again here"

You blush slightly at his response but then you look at him with confusion "We can meet at school right?"

"We can but I want to see you again here since it's only the two of us so I can see you draw" He explains honestly and that makes you blush even more because isn't he technically asking for a date?! "Besides, I can spend more time with you here than at school with only two breaks- Are you okay, (Name)?"

"I'm fine!" You quickly reply "So.. do you want to meet every Saturday morning here then?”

"Yes!" He nods excitedly before cheering as he pumps his fists up "Awesome! I can see you here every week!"

"Okay" You smile slightly and take out your phone to ask for his number in case you need to contact him. However, you find out that he doesn't have a phone so you two need to make sure you meet at the exact same spot.

"Anyway, I have to go to eat" Mori says as he stands up "Man.. I've been jogging and training too long that I haven't eaten yet"

"I'll see you on Monday then" You say as you look up to him and he nods before smiling.

"I'm excited to see your drawing, (Name)! I'll see you on Monday!"

After that, he leaves with another grumble on his stomach and how he whines that he's hungry which makes you sweatdrop. Well, today's certainly an unexpected event since you just come here for a change of pace. And now, you end up setting a date every week to meet with the Mori Jin.

You look at your phone as you set the date on your calendar before going to your photo library. You look at Mori's photo since you plan to continue drawing him, but the more you look at it, the more you feel embarrassed as those thoughts come into mind again.

Extended Ending

Today is finally the day when you're going to show your drawing to him.

You manage to get it done by Monday and it takes a lot of effort, not the drawing but hypnotising yourself not to get entranced by Mori's look. You look nervous while looking at the sketchbook on your table as you wait for Mori to arrive. It shouldn't be this nerve wrecking but you just can't help but worry if Mori likes it or not.

Speak of the devil, you hear a sound of the door being opened which makes you turn your attention to it and there he is. Mori looks at you and smiles excitedly before waving his hand as he shouts your name.

"(Name)! Good morning!"

"I told him not to shout though" You sweatdrop as everyone in the class looks at you which makes you look intimidated. Anyway, Mori quickly approaches you as he looks excited at your drawing.

"So, so, so, have you finished it?"

"I-I've finished it" You say and he looks more hyped up that makes you feel more nervous "I hope you like it, Mori"

You open the sketchbook and show a drawing of him. Immediately, Mori looks at it with awe before he leans closer to you and places his hands on your table.

"(NAME)! I LOVE IT!"

"R-Really?" You blush at his closeness but then feel relieved that he likes your drawing "That's good to hear-"

"This is amazing!" Mori holds the sketchbook as he looks at your drawing with sparkled eyes before thanking you "Thank you so much for drawing me, (Name)"

"You're welcome" You smile brightly at him as you feel happy that he appreciates your drawing so much. Well, he has been complimenting you from the start but nothing beats the feeling when someone likes your work. Meanwhile, Mori looks slightly surprised since it's his first time seeing you smile that brightly which actually makes him feel like he wants to see more of it.

"(Name), if I ask for more drawings, will you draw for me again?"

You look surprised at the sudden question but you nod "Sure. I told you it will be like practice to me anyway so if you want me to draw something, you can ask me"

"Okay!" Mori smiles before putting the sketchbook back to the table "Anyway, can I keep the drawing?"

"Of course!" You say and quickly rip the paper to give the drawing to him "Oh, I finish refining the drawing of your pose too by the way"

Again, he looks amazed as you show him the drawing which makes him grin at you "You're really the best artist, (Name)"

"That's an exaggeration but thanks Mori" You blush before smiling at him to thank him.

#the god of high school #god of highschool #god of high school #goh #fanfiction #mori jin #reader insert #mori jin x reader #oneshot

129 notes · View notes

karls-writing-space · 3 years

Text

『 Backstory 』

➵ Any TWs? :

➵ Subtle Mentions of Transphobia.

➵ Beau Romano - his deadname being Bianca - was born a year after his older sister, Faye. He lived with his semi-wealthy parents, Camilia and Dylan Romano in Manitoba.

When he was in second grade, Beau began to have a big sprout of creativity. He had drawn pictures of people and anthropomorphic animals, and create small little tales about these people/animals he has drawn. He Drew more and more of these as time slowly passed, and he enjoyed telling stories about these drawings. This had grown into a hobby, and something he enjoyed thoroughly.

His older sister came out when she was nine that she felt like a girl and that she was attracted to girls. Now, their parents are very accepting people and proceeded to assist and support Faye - who was formerly known as Lovino - get what she needed to transition.

Beau happily cheered on his big sister on, supporting her and showering her with love. He celebrated her transitions and her relationships happily, happy that he had such a prideful older sister.

By the time Beau was ten, he had begun to experiment with his sexuality by feeling some weird way towards a guy in music class. He talked with this guy more and more, and these feelings continued to grow.

After a couple of weeks, he felt the same way towards a girl in music class too. The feeling for the boy stayed, but now he had feelings for a boy and a girl.

One day, while walking to school with his mom, he heard two girls behind him talking about the people they liked. One of the girls had said that she was Bisexual, to which little Beau tugged on his mother's sleeve and asked what "Bisexual" meant. The woman explained that it was when someone liked two or more genders.

Beau put that into thought, and not even a minute later, he exclaimed "I'm Bisexual!"

His mom smiles and ruffled her son's - then daughter's - head. While Beau was still a kid, and she thought that Beau didn't know what he was talking about, the boy knew exactly what he was talking about.

Those feelings of the boy and girl faded over time. When Beau was twelve, he had fallen for another person. There had been this really cute girl in class who enjoyed drawing, and boy, what a talented artist she is.

Slowly, but surely, Beau began to fall in love with this girl, and spent time with her. Months went by, and the two had fallen in love.

The girl had confessed to Beau, which he accepted.

These two were a great, healthy Lesbian couple at the time. They were both very happy and loving. Beau had welcomed his girlfriend into the family, to which they welcomed with open arms.

The relationship lasted for two years until they fell out of love. The spark was gone. Their breakup wasn't nasty - they awkwardly stated that they lost that romantic spark on both sides. Beau had turned thirteen at the time. Beau and his ex-lover are on good terms to this day.

Once puberty hit, Beau looked at the body he had at the moment. He didn't quite fit with how it was. It made him feel like he didn't fit in a girl's body. He wanted to cut off his developing melons. So, he decided to talk to Faye later that evening, whom had fully transitioned. She was a beautiful woman. As he talked to her about what had been up, Faye stated that Beau could be Transgender, and even gave him a few articles on Gender Dysphoria.

Weeks of looking into gender identities later, Beau took the label "Trans Male" and used it to describe himself. With encouragement from Faye, he came out to his parents, who accepted him. He didn't want to transition as quickly as Faye, and wanted to take it slow. Testosterone and binding first.

As he grew older, Beau got bullied for being a Transgender Bisexual man. He was experiencing Transphobia from a few of his fellow peers. He knew that not everyone would accept him for being who he was, but this hurt quite a bit. Being bullied for this wasn't fair - he had every right to express himself! - but nooo, people were idiots.

His love for writing had grown more and more over the years. He began to write little stories that he presented in school and posted online. People loved his little stories. Whether they were fanfiction or characters and universes he had created in his head, they received a lot of positive feedback. Sure, there were haters, bullies, trolls, and rude people in general, but Beau didn't pay attention to them too much.

Beau had gotten top surgery when he was fifteen. He had been on testosterone for a year, and he had been binding for that time being. He loved his new, flat chest. Sure, he would have a scar on his chest from the surgery, but it didn't really bother him. He was happy that his tibbies were deleted. Now he could feel like a guy somewhat.

During the time passed from fourteen and fifteen years old, Beau had been watching a show known as "Total Drama" with Faye. The show was appealing to the young teen. The risky challenges were entertaining, most of the cast was likable, and it was really entertaining for the young boy. He'd talk about joining the show every now and then and would think about what his label or cliche would be on the show.

Timeskip to now, Beau and Faye are sixteen and seventeen respectively. After watching an ad to audition for the next season of Total Drama, Faye looked over at her little brother.

"Hey... You should audition to be on there!"

Beau, liking the idea, auditioned for the show. Once his audition was seen, Beau was invited to be on a season of Total Drama.

『 Voice Claim 』

youtube

『 Miscellaneous Facts』

➵ Theme Song

youtube

➵ Quotes

"O-Oh, hello...!"

"I'm Beau. It's nice to meet you!"

"It's too people-y in there. I-I'd like to stay right here."

"He's... Kinda pretty."

"Are you lonely? I could hang out with you if you'd like."

"I-It's not a diary! It's just a journal that I put my writing and ideas in."

"Sorry, I'd rather be by myself. I-It's nothing personal -- I j-just don't like large groups of people."

"Sorry... I'm rambling again, aren't I? Sorry about that..."

"He's a... He's a man. And I'm just a boy."

"Ciao, bello..!" (Hello, handsome..!)

"Aren't you guys a little too old for a bedtime story?"

"Fine, fine. Once upon a time, there were a few guys on an island who needed to go the fuck to sleep. G'night, guys."

"What do you mean that 'isn't a good bedtime story? I think it's a brilliant story."

"Fine... There was once this God named Fóllame de lado-"

"Hey - do you wanna fuck around with the others?"

"H-Hey! I apologize for interrupting what you were doing, but... I'd like to confess something if that's o-okay? Look, I'll cut to the chase. I... love you, dude. And not in some bromance way. Like... I have romantic feelings for you. I love you so much I could scream it to the world..! I hope you f-feel the same way. And if you don't? That's p-perfectly fine."

"Good morning, mio amore."

"Sorry, but could you like, shut up for five seconds? Thanks..."

➵ Ship Names (OC X Crush or OC X OC)

Duncan x Beau = BeauDun/ BeauCan

DJ x Beau = BJ / BeauJ

Alejandro x Beau = AleBeau

Mike x Beau = Meau/Bike

Lightning x Beau = Blightning/BeauLight

Topher x Beau = Beaupher / Beaupher

Shawn x Beau = Sheau / Bawn

➵ Random Facts

• If they're comfortable, Beau calls his male friends "Bello" (Handsome), and his female friends "Bella" (Beautiful).

For Nonbinary folk, it depends on what they prefer.

•Beau has learned how to play the ukelele from Faye.

•He would actually like to go windsurfing sometime!

• Speaking of his sister, she's a well-known acrobat/performer for her age. He admires her for being so talented in such a thing..

• His sister is an extrovert, and more outgoing than Beau. The two are opposites,,but yknow, opposites attract!

•Beau prefers to write stories that are/include horror, action, and supernatural/fantasy. He can write romantic stories, but he doesn't prefer writing things like that.

•He has written some shitty fanfictions when he was younger. He will share them among his friends and laugh at what he wrote.

•The languages he speaks are:

• English

•Italian

• (Some) Spanish. [Italian and Spanish are similar language-wise in a few ways. That, and Beau just wanted to learn Spanish.]

• Respectful boi when it comes to Pronouns, Names, People's likes and dislikes, etc.

•Beau has some family members that live in Italy. He has gone to Italy to visit them numerous times.

• Beau doesn't believe in soulmates. He thinks that it's just some fairytale thing that people believe in. He wants to love someone on his own accord - not someone who the universe was like "Oh, let's put these people together.".

♫♪.ılılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılılı.♫♪

╚═══*.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.*═══╝

#td oc #total drama oc #beau romano #tdpi #tdas #tdwt #tdi #vix writes stuff #nico writes stuff #Youtube

5 notes · View notes