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runningfrom2am · 3 months

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cold nights // part twenty-seven

summary: you were back in the capitol, and you would be damned if you didn't try your hardest to make it worthwhile.

pairing: coriolanus snow x fem!reader

wc: 3.4k

masterlists / nav / requests

tags/warnings: tribute!reader and mentor!coriolanus, r is very sweet (too kind for this world. literally.), sunshine x grumpy trope kinda, he falls first, violence typical for the source material, depictions of mental illness, also she's is very smart (as she should), district twelve!reader.

a/n: omg we're coming up on the end i could cry :') i finished writing everything and i feel like a shell of a person rn without this fic to plan and write, but i hope you guys are excited! there will be five more parts after this and then the epilogue, which brings me to some really exciting news!!

big news #1: i'm opening oneshot requests for this series!! my normal requests will remain closed but i'd love to see what you guys want for the more of this series! (link is here!)

big news #2: the end of this story is opening the doors to my third coryo series which I've been working on for a hot minute, and it'll be called requiem! (see the original request for it here to get the vibes before i post anything!)

my asks are also open to talk about this series! (i do have emoji anons open now too!)

send me any and all of your thoughts! here!

series masterlist // playlist

The protests caught you off guard, more than anything.

It had only been two weeks since you started your classes and you were loving them, but you hated getting dropped off in the morning and picked up in the afternoon. You and Coryo could no longer eat lunch outside, and the previously full lecture halls you had occupied saw more and more students dropping out as people stood outside just to shout at you as you came and went from the school four days a week. To call you an animal, that you don't belong there, that you should be "put down" for crimes against the Capitol. What they were? You had no idea.

Suffice to say, parents were not happy that you were there.

Generally, Coryo said that people had loved you in the games. You were "harmless", and "sweet", you gave them someone to root for- but now that you were walking freely among them instead of being kept behind the bars at the zoo or trapped inside the arena awaiting your death, you were suddenly a threat.

"They... they think I'll hurt someone?" You sniff, watery eyes overflowing as you look at Coryo lying beside you in his bed.

He bites his tongue, nodding as he wipes away your tears with the hand he has resting just under your cheek on top of his pillow. "They're afraid. That's all, it's not because of anything you did."

"I won't." You cry. "I would never, you know that, right?"

"I know, love. I know that." He promises you quietly.

"I don't want people to be afraid of me. It's not fair to them... If they feel unsafe I should just drop out."

"You're not doing that." He insists with a slight shake of his head. "We'll figure it out. Okay? Don't worry about them."

You just nod softly, wiping your eyes as he pushes his arm under your neck. "C'mere." He mumbles rolling onto his back and you move closer, laying your head on his chest as he pulls you closer to his side.

Coryo did figure it out, for the most part, which is how you ended up standing in Capitol TV's studios, awaiting an interview with Lucky Flickerman, someone you definitely thought you would never see again after the games. You didn't know how Coryo did it, who he had to talk to in order to convince them to let you plead your case so publicly. Apparently, the Snow name came with more power than you knew.

"You're gonna do great, love." Coryo whispers to you. "Just be yourself, but remember what I said about your essay, right? Be honest, but think about how you word things. I know you can do it." He assures you quietly, hands resting on your shoulders.

You nod, giving him a hopeful smile. "Thank you."

"I'll be right here, I'm not going anywhere." These types of reassurances were becoming less and less necessary over the month you've been here, but still, you don't like it when he's far, and he doesn't like it when he doesn't know where you are. It worked nicely for you both.

"Miss Y/L/N, whenever you're ready." One of the crew directs you, pointing to the comfortable chair they had set up in front of a homey-looking backdrop. It was fake, but it was meant to look like you were in someone's house. The idea of it was confusing to you, but you supposed it was also unimportant. You had much bigger concerns.

"Thank you." You smile at them and give Coryo another quick nod before making your way over to the seat that they said was yours.

Coryo watches as you carefully brush your hands over the front of your dress, smoothing it as you sit down. You looked so elegant as you did it, if he didn't know better, it looked like the habits of the people you were now surrounded with were rubbing off on you quickly. He had watched you rehearse how you would carry yourself and how you would speak and act with Tigris just this morning, after she fit you into the dress she had made for the occasion. Clearly, you had been paying attention.

When you draw your hair from your back and over your shoulder so your meticulously styled curls wouldn't be crushed against the chair, Coryo thinks he might need to sit down. Especially so when you look back at him again, subtly waving at him with your hand from where they are placed in your lap. The dress Tigris had given to you was red- a deep red silky material that complimented the red of his coat and mimicked the shade of the Capitol's flag but still had you standing out on your own. Seeing the way that dress fit you and hugged your form in all the right ways even as you were sitting, he was sure he had never been more grateful to his cousin and her talents.

"Y/N, it's so good to see you again." Lucky smiles at you as he sits down across from you, adjusting the small device attached to his lapel as crew members come up to you and fasten the same thing to the front and back of your dress.

"You as well." You grin, trying the best you can to mask your nervousness.

"Are you ready? Do you need anything?" He asks and you shake your head.

"I am ready whenever you are." You confirm, looking around as some more lights flick on, bright in your eyes as the man behind the camera starts counting down.

You look over at Coryo one last time and he nods at you. It was just like your first interview all over again- you had to sell yourself to the people. To prove that you were worth trusting.

"My name is Lucretius "Lucky" Flickerman," You smile as he flips a coin up into the air. You've seen him do it before, but you still weren't sure how the trick worked. "Amateur magician and your host for everything interesting on Capitol TV, and today is certainly no exception. Today, I have a familiar face with me who I know you will all recognize as well, the Victor of the Tenth Annual Hunger Games, Miss Y/N Y/L/N." He looks over at you and you keep your eyes on him, certain that all cameras are watching you now.

"Y/N, I am so happy to have you back. How have you been?" Lucky asks you and you're already fighting off the need to fidget with your hands.

"I am very well." You smile at him. "How about yourself? It has been a while."

"I'm great, thank you! You know, I was not allowed to bet on the games, but anyone who was there can tell you that I predicted your win from the beginning. You certainly are something else."

"Oh, well thank you." You giggle. "Though, I can't fully be credited for my win. I have to thank the sponsors who allowed Coriolanus to send me food and water. That made all the difference in my game."

"Oh, most definitely." He agrees. "But you shouldn't deny your own role in that. Hiding in the vents, that was genius!" Lucky claps. "Truly, that was a jaw-dropping moment for all of us watching. I remember thinking 'wow, how did she think of that?' It was incredible!"

"Yes, well, I saw the grate and knew it was worth a try." You shrug, slightly laughing. "I had nothing to lose."

"Yes, well, I'm dying to know- what have you been up to the last few months? You went back to Twelve, and then what?"

"Oh! Yes, I did. I've been spending time with friends and family, I got a job at the local library, catching up on some reading, that sort of thing." You grin, glancing at Coryo for only a moment and he gestures for you to continue. "I got home and I really realized for the first time how much we should be appreciating everything we have- even out in the Districts where sometimes life is tough, it's key to remember how privileged we are to be alive. The games were truly eye-opening for me."

Coryo gives you a quick nod of approval, and you smile, training your view back on the man across from you.

"Yes, I agree. Live life to the fullest, that's what they say." You just nod at his response. "Which also begs the question, if you were happy back in Twelve, what brought you back to the Capitol?"

Let the lies begin.

"Well," You laugh nervously. "When I was given the opportunity to come here for the games back in July, I was so interested in everything. The people who I got to talk to, the things I got to see, it was all amazing and I was just dying for more."

"So you decided to come study at the university here, is what I've heard."

"Yes, exactly." You grin. "I just think that the Capitol has so much to offer as far as education goes, I am already learning so much and I am having so much fun doing it."

"So really, your focus is just on your education." He prompts you and you nod.

"Definitely, considering the course load I don't have time for much else, but that doesn't really bother me. Like I said, I just want to learn from the greatest minds in the nation. Even the other students, it's amazing! Everyone has earned their spot there and I can see why and all the work they have put in to be there. It's a privilege to study among them, and I am so grateful that I was given this chance."

"You say 'all the work that they put in to be there', but you didn't attend the academy, so how is it that you were admitted?"

"I filled out the same application that all the other students did, I went through all the same testing." You confirm, nodding at him. "Although," You laugh slightly. "I was only given one day to complete it all. I was locked away in my room working on it all night. I hardly had time to blink, it was tough."

"Wow!" Lucky laughs. "One day? I remember when I applied to the university, my application took months to get just right. You must have aced it all."

"I am very proud of the work I did to be admitted, yes." You smile.

"From what I hear, you should be." He agrees. "So, you're really not in it for the sake of making friends."

"Well, I certainly would love to, but it is not my priority." You nod. "But, if any of my classmates are watching, I promise I am good at proofreading and if you need a second set of eyes on your papers, I'm happy to help. I'd also love to have more people to discuss our readings with." You joke, looking into the camera for the first time.

Lucky laughs. "You've heard it here, everyone. Y/N's pitch to make some friends!"

"Yes, I suppose it was." You chuckle, smiling at him.

"Now on the topic of friends while we're getting to know you better," You tilt your head at him while he begins the question, unsure where it is going. "Back home, do you have a boyfriend? Surely he must be missing you."

"No, not at home..." You laugh, catching in the corner of your eye as Coryo shakes his head at you, his face flat of emotion. "I don't have a boyfriend. Again, that's really just not where my priorities lie at the moment. I've... I've had a very busy year, you could say." You explain hesitantly.

"Wow! A beautiful girl like you?" You laugh nervously at his response. "Capitol boys! She's smart, pretty, and single. Just saying." He says, raising his hands.

You knew his job today was to help you, to make you more likable and more normal, to humanize you, but it was still uncomfortable to hear. "Oh, please." You laugh nervously, waving a hand at him. "Like I said, I'm just here to learn. I'm not after anyone's son."

"No? Not even all the handsome boys in your classes? I'm sure there are at least a few." He teases you and your cheeks flush red.

"I wouldn't know, I'm watching the lectures." You shrug jokingly.

Coryo is trying not to lose his mind while you talk about how single you are. Not that you were much of a willing participant, and to be fair he did tell you not to indicate to them that the two of you were together. You technically weren't, if he was being totally fair, but just because it hadn't been said doesn't mean it isn't real. He knew you knew that, though. So why was he getting so mad?

He doesn't even realize how little attention he was paying after that until you're standing up and shaking Lucky's hand. It was over, you'd done everything you could have to ease the minds of scared and angry Capitol parents.

Lucky gives you a quick hug, wishing you good luck in your classes before you're allowed to rejoin Coryo. "Ready to go?" He asks and you nod.

"How did I do?" You ask as you walk out of the studio and into the hall, aiming for the elevator to take you back to ground level.

"Amazing, love. You were perfect." Coryo confirms, still noticeably tense as he walks next to you.

"Are you sure?" You ask as he presses the button to call the car up to your level, unsure since he still hasn't really looked at you.

The door opens and you both step in. "Yes." He tells you again, quickly tapping the door close button.

"Oh, good. I was really nervous..." You laugh slightly as the doors slide shut, and as soon as any light from the hall ceases to enter the elevator his hands are on you and his lips are pressed against yours.

You let out the slightest squeak out of shock, but quickly relax as Coryo rubs familiar small circles on your hips with his thumbs. How he could be so gentle as he backs you into the wall of the elevator you don't know, but you're grateful for it as you hum into his mouth. But still, something was different.

Spending so much time with you only made him want you more. He loved you, he knew that, and someplace deep in the corners of his mind, he had always wanted you in a way he never thought possible when he first fell for you before the games. Now, with you curled up under his sheets almost every night, seeing you step out of the bathroom with damp hair after a shower in pyjamas that don't fit you quite right, he thought about it more than ever. Thoughts of you plagued him more than usual, and the best way to describe the accompanying feeling was guilt. Guilt that he couldn't show you off given the circumstances- at least not yet.

He trails his kisses away from your lips and across your jaw, pulling you tighter against him. "You're so beautiful, my love..." He mumbles into the skin just below your ear, leaving a kiss in his wake that has your head spinning.

You giggle, eyes fluttering open. "What has gotten into you?" You ask, hands sliding up over his chest to rest on his shoulders.

"I can't tell my girlfriend that I think she's gorgeous?" He asks, shaking his head slightly as he looks down into your eyes.

"Oh, so I am your girlfriend." You giggle and he nods, kissing you again.

"Of course you are, and don't forget it." He chuckles, pulling back from you as the elevator stops moving, waiting for the doors to open.

Your skin is flushed down to your chest as the doors slide apart and even though he's not touching you anymore, you can feel the ghost of his hands on you. You look up at him, a lingering smirk still on his face as he looks straight ahead and leads you out of the car.

The phone rang at the time you were eating dinner, and you quickly asked if you could be excused to go answer it. Coryo and Tigris both just nodded at you, but you could still feel their grandmother's eyes burning into your back as you quickly walked away. She still wasn't fond of you, but she tolerated you. For now, that was just enough.

You grab the phone off the receiver as the small round screen flickers to life. "Hello?" You answer, hopeful that it would finally be your family you see on the other side.

You had answered every call that came to the Snow's apartment for weeks, waiting anxiously to hear their voices again.

"Y/N, is that you, honey?"

You gasp with excitement when you get a clear enough view of your ma. "Ma! Hi!" You smile, leaning in a little closer to get a more clear view as the camera on their end begins to adjust. This was likely the first time it was being used.

"Oh, honey, how good it is to see you!" She smiles, and out of nowhere, you feel hot tears welling up in your eyes.

"You too, Ma." You nod, biting into your lower lip. You didn't want to cry so quickly into the call. "How are you? How's everything at home?"

"Same old." She shakes her head with a slight laugh. "I'm much more interested in you- how is everything? How is school? And how is Tybalt settling in? How are you settling in? My goodness, I just have so many questions!"

You laugh, quickly wiping a stray tear. You had told them about all of this in letters, of course, but she just wanted to hear you say it all. "Everything is good. School has been so lovely, Coryo walks me to all my classes and we eat lunch together between. And Tybalt just loves it here! They have a garden on the roof, and I take him up there as often as I can. Tigris won't stop giving him treats either so he couldn't be happier."

You look down at the animal as he brushes against your leg, looking up at you.

"That's amazing. I've been so worried, it's just so good to see your face again. God, we've been missin' you..."

"I miss you too." You agree, careful not to choke on your tears. "How is Len? And have you seen Lucy Gray and the Covey?"

"He's... He's doing alright." Your mother looks off-screen, and you assume he must be there. The look on her face, one of nervousness and hesitation tells you he doesn't want to speak to you. "But Lucy Gray has been around every day, she and Maude Ivory come over and they help me with hanging the laundry and such... It's been good to have them around."

You smile sadly, nodding slightly with the receiver pressed to your ear. You felt bad about that aspect of leaving- you spent as much time as you could before the games helping out around the house, but even in the summer when you came back you weren't much help. Your mother wouldn't let you do dishes all summer, for fear that the sight of a knife might set you off. She knew you came back a different person, and she wasn't taking any risks. All she really allowed you to do was hang laundry and "keep her company" while she did other home chores. But now, she didn't even have that.

"Can I speak to him?" You ask, referring to your brother who you knew was there.

She nods, waving off camera and holding her hand over the wrong part of the phone. "Lennox, come over here. Y/N wants to talk to you."

His response is muffled, but you make out the gist of it. 'I don't want to talk to her'.

"She's your sister, Lennox. You can't ignore her forever."

'If she wants to talk, she should come home.'

Your heart clenches in your chest and you chew your lip. You have to pretend you couldn't hear, but you just felt so horribly guilty. You shouldn't have left, but he doesn't understand you had no choice. He wouldn't be able to understand until you could come home and see him again, likely not until the summer. Coryo had told you to be mindful of what you write in letters and what you say on the phone, it's possible others were listening. The Capitol was always listening.

"He's just a little busy right now, honey." She smiles at you, but you can see right through it. "But tell me about your day! Did you have class?"

taglist: @soulessjourney , @that-veela-girl , @dreamyysouls, @rockstarbfs, @maysileeewrites , @baybieruth , @kitscutie, @fratboyharrysgf0201 , @totallynotkaibiased , @stelleduarte , @secretsicanthideanymore , @bejeweledreverie , @drewsandsebastianswife , @niicole-87 , @queenofshinigamis , @innercreationflower , @nallasstuff , @iovemoonyy , @thatmarvelchick19 , @wearemadeofstardust0 , @regulusblackcore , @puredreamagination , @fantasticchaosthing , @becauseseaotters , @secretsicanthideanymore , @strawberryflavouredkisses, @cascadingbliss

okay suddenly tumblr isn't letting me tag more people than this so i just made some cuts unfortunately :') i just left the max amount of people i could whose users i recognized and see in my notifs all the time :) if you're not on here and you should be i'm so sorry!

also this taglist is closed now!! if you’d like to get a notification when i update, turn on my post notifications!! i promise i won’t spam y'all :,)

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ethansluvbot · 1 year

Note

hey!! can you do what it would like dating jack champion?? only if u want to tho! :)

HEADCANNONS | JACK CHAMPION

warnings: none just fluff

jack worships the ground that you walk on. he heavily depends on validating his partner. not a second will go by without him posting about you or complementing you.

“you know you’re gorgeous, right?” jack walks up to you with a huge smile on his face. he hugs you kissing down your neck.

he’s most likely into physical touch. he’s totally touched starved and is so glad when he is validated. you guys will always be seen together. jacks hands will always have to be on you somehow.

he loves taking naps with you. he loves taking hikes, going to amusement parks, and taking you to interviews. as long as he is spending time with you he’s fine.

he talks about you a lot in interviews. a interviewer could ask him his favorite color and it would end up relating to you.

he is such a golden retriever. he is never afraid to show that he’s in love with you. if you are in a relationship with him you won’t ever feel alone. you definitely won’t feel insecure with him either.

he loves kissing your hands, neck and temple. he really will kiss you anywhere that you let him. he enjoys when you play with his hair when you cuddle. he will get grumpy if you stop.

jacks head lays in between your legs with his head on your stomach. your fingers gently massage through his hair as you scroll through instagram.

as you scroll through instagram a call come through. it was jenna, she was facetiming you when you picked up. “hi!” you smile remove your hand from his head.

“hey y/n! i was wondering if you would like to come over for a bit?”

“yeah, of course i will-” before you can finish jack grabs your phone and hangs up. you laughed smacking him lightly.

he would definitely do face mask, make bracelets and run you bubble baths all the time. will just sit there while you get ready for bed. he definitely has about 100+ bad photos of you getting ready/unready.

when i tell you his whole phone is filled with pictures of you. you could literally be eating a granola bar and he takes a picture.

calls and text you all day long. you could’ve just left his house and he’s already asking you when you’re coming over again. if you didn’t respond in 5 minutes he just keeps texting you until you respond. definitely overthinks it aswell. he will text mason thinking it’s over.

JACK: MASON. y/ns going to break up with me.

MASON: what did she say??

JACK: she didn’t say anything :(

MASON: oh, so its not happening.

he loves when you go to the gym with him. even if you guys are just goofing off the entire time. he definitely loves helping you spot yourself. he definitely loves helping you reach your full potential. he’s always encouraging you to keep going.

every week he gives you a new sweatshirt and takes back the old one. he makes sure they smell exactly like him so you’re comforted. he definitely enjoys when you wear his hoodies in front of other guys.

you guys are usually hanging out with trinity. you just consider her as a sister eventually. both of you are pretty close. all of you have a weekly dinner.

he loves buying you clothing and jewlery. he will walk into a mall and buy you everything possible. he will buy you matching necklaces.

he’s definitely super nosy. if there’s a fight going down in your groupchat he’s always on your side.

“she’s getting on my nerves right now. she always is on alana’s side even when she’s in the wrong,” you groan throwing your head back

“you should definitely drop her girl. she needs get out of here with her woodchuck looking ass,” he jokes staring at your phone to see what she says. you laugh at him, he immediately makes you feel better.

surprisingly he’s a good artist. like not that he can make self portraits but simple landscapes. he definitely convinced you that he can’t paint you. you didn’t tell him but that was one of the worst self portraits of yourself you’ve seen.

#ethan landry #jack champion x reader #jack champion #avatar #atwow imagines #spider socorro #jack champion imagine

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padfootagain · 1 year

Text

Old Crush

Hello ! Here is a request that was sent my way by an anon : ‘Great! So I had this idea for a Ben imagine... So you were a big fan of Ben since you saw him in the Narnia movies, and you had a crush on him for years. Now, years later you're dating him but you never told him about knowing who he was before meeting him nor about this crush you had on him/his character (does that have sense?😅) And somehow he finds out and he's mad about it because he feels betrayed that you lied and he thinks you are only dating him because of who he is. But a happy ending, please!’

Thank you for sending in a request, anon! I hope you enjoy what I’ve written for you!

I hope you all like this! Tell me what you think!

****

Pairing: Ben Barnes x reader

Warnings: a bit of angst. Hurt/comfort. Fluffy ending. (the ask was perfect to use some interviews about Ordinary Day so… because I don’t know but whenever he speaks about being enough my heart just goes dfiejierjiejri)

Summary: Ben didn’t know that you were a fan of his already before you started dating, and when he finds out, he doesn’t like it at all. All his insecurities are suddenly brought back to life…

Word Count: 3156

Ben's Masterlist - Main Masterlist

It was a beautiful day, odds were in Ben’s favour to spend a lovely afternoon with you.

Lunch in the sun on your balcony, in your shared home, eating a tasty meal and drinking some fine wine. He glimpsed at the shining ring on your finger as the gem caught the sun and glimmered even more than usual, while he listened to you ramble about something exciting that happened at work. And it was perfect.

Perfect. Everything about this moment, about you, about the two of you… was perfect.

He wasn’t claiming that it wasn’t hard sometimes, because it was. You butted heads, you fought from time to time, you got annoyed at him and he got mad at you. He was away often and you weren’t always around. Sometimes, it was rough, but it was worth it. That was what Ben meant when ‘perfect’ popped into his mind to be written on everything around him. No matter what, he was certain you were the one. No matter what, he was certain he would fight for you. The two of you would make it work, no matter what. Because you were everything he wanted, and he was enough for you.

Him. Ben. Not Ben Barnes, not the actor, not the fame, not the money… just… him. Simple Ben who overthought everything, was too cautious sometimes, had only a vague idea of what a meme was, loved goofing around, and made a mediocre chili that he claimed was amazing. You loved him, and he knew it. He knew that if tomorrow he dropped everything and walked out of the glamour and fame you would hold his hand and give him a bright smile and ask ‘okay, where are we going, then?’ And it made it perfect. To be enough made it perfect…

A dreamy smile formed on his lips at the thought that this was going to last forever. You were signing up for a lifetime together. Endless supplies of banter, of conversations that lasted till dawn, of cuddles on the sofa, of kisses in a kitchen bathed with dawn, of hands holding on each other as if they never wanted to let go. Endless supplies of silly fights forgotten on the pillow, of eyes opening to the sight of the other sleeping, of boxes of chocolate brought home every day for a week every month, of flights caught to close the distance, of faces drawn in pixels and voices distorted by phones, of painful goodbyes before climbing in a cab.

All of it, good or bad, was about to last for the rest of your lives, together. A couple of months more to wait until you would both say yes and be each other’s for a lifetime…

Sometimes, he wondered if things would have been different if you had met under different circumstances. Instead of bumping – quite literally – into each other in this supermarket… what if you had met and started dating knowing who he was? Would he have opened up so easily then? Would he have let himself be drawn to you with such a force?

But then again, you didn’t know who he was back then. And he was thankful for it. He hadn’t had to worry about the fame, about you being earnest, about money… none of that mattered, not between the two of you.

He was just Ben with you, and it was enough. And you were just Y/N, and it was enough.

“Are you even listening at this point?”

Ben shook himself out of his dreamy state, looking away from your shimmering ring and up to your eyes again. He wanted to drown in their colour forever…

You were amused more than annoyed, head tilted to the side and a playful smile on your lips.

“You’re talking about Francis breaking the coffee machine. Again,” he answered with a cocky smile. “Of course, I’m listening, love.”

“You seemed to have zoned out for a moment,” you explained before eating the last bite of your dessert.

“Was just… kind of lost in thought, I guess. But I was listening.”

“What were you thinking about? You were smiling, it ought to be nice.”

His smile widened, something mischievous and flirtatious added to the crooked gesture.

“I was thinking about this,” he answered, nodding towards your ring. “And about all the naughty things we’ll do on our honeymoon.”

You laughed, choking on the piece of fruit you were eating. And God, did he adore that sound…

“And… what kind of thoughts these might be? Are you making plans?” you asked back, flirt lowering your voice too, and Ben couldn’t help the way his heart jumped in his chest at the sound.

“I am, actually,” he fought back, leaning a little across the table, a dangerous glint darkening his black eyes. “I have a full list, at this point… of things I’m going to do to you.”

He noticed your sharp intake of breath, and leaned back in his chair, winking at you in a seductive way, making you nervously giggle.

“Can’t wait for that, then… Can I get a preview?”

Ben let out a loud laugh, shaking his head.

“No way, I’m keeping that for later. We should relax this afternoon.”

“Sex is… relaxing…”

“No…” Ben shook his head, amused.

Instead, Ben ended up doing the dishes while you settled on the sofa and looked for something to watch on TV. You went through the channels, until Ben’s face appeared on the screen.

“Oh! Honey! You’re on TV!”

Ben chuckled, putting away the last plate before walking inside the living room to join you. Indeed, his face was on the screen; a shaven, much younger version of himself.

“Oh, it’s Narnia,” he said with a fond smile on his lips as some of his friends appeared on the screen as well.

He sat by your side on the sofa and immediately snuggled against you, rolling his eyes as you whistled when he was on the screen again, playfully catcalling him.

“My… my… look at this handsome guy, right there!” you teased, pinching his side, and Ben couldn’t help but blush.

“Not bad, huh? Is he your type?” he asked, playing along, the red reaching the tip of his ears.

He tried hard to refrain a grin, but he couldn’t.

“Definitely! He looks a little like my fiancé, you see?”

“Oh, I see…”

You both exploded with laughter, unable to keep a straight face for much longer.

“You are definitely my type,” you went on. “God… even then, I had a crush on you!”

Ben frowned, looking at you questioningly.

“What do you mean?”

He squeezed your thigh, the feeling of your body against him reassuring.

“Well… even as Caspian, I had a crush on you.”

“When?”

His frown deepened, and he couldn’t help the way his heart sped up all of a sudden. Because… you couldn’t be meaning that. You didn’t know who he was when you met…

“I mean that when I watched Narnia for the first time, I had a crush on Caspian. So… on you… kind of.”

“But when did you watch it?”

“When it came out! I went to see these movies with some friends at the time.”

You seemed puzzled by his reaction, and perhaps it was normal for you to do so. You frowned, the small crease forming across your brow. And perhaps it was but logical for you to react like that, but Ben didn’t think so. Instead, he merely stared at you, frowning hard, almost glaring, his jaw clenched tight, all of a sudden…

“What?” you asked, even more taken aback as Ben sat up, letting go of you completely.

You knew him before you met. You knew who he was that day, in the supermarket, and during your first date and…

You had a crush on him already? What… if you knew who he was then… had you ever been interested in him back then? That rainy afternoon when you bumped so hard into him in this supermarket he fell over?

He couldn’t control the way his heart was racing, the growing feeling that was crushing his chest more and more. This feeling, so painful, of… betrayal…

“Ben? What’s wrong, honey?”

He got up at the sound of the nickname.

Was it real? From the beginning? And why had you not told him you knew who he was? What was your plan? Were you… were you lying about the two of you?

“You’ve never told me,” he spoke at last, voice low and shaking with an anger he struggled to control.

You shrugged; and Ben hated you for it. Because everything was crumbling around him, his mind was spiralling, and you were… shrugging?

“What about it? I love these movies. Haven’t watched them in ages, though…”

“When we met… when we went on our first date, you never told me you knew who I was.”

You frowned hard, failing to understand why he seemed angry now, why his voice was so low, a rumble of upcoming thunder.

“I didn’t recognize you at first,” you admitted. “Not in the supermarket. Not before you told me your full name, and that you were an actor.”

“That was on our first date! Why didn’t you tell me then?”

But again, you shrugged, at a loss for words. And he could see it in your eyes: that you didn’t understand what was happening, why he was mad, what you had done wrong.

Ben tried to take a few deep breaths, in an attempt to slow down his pounding heart and to clear his head. But it didn’t work well…

“What does it matter, anyway?” you asked, and Ben scoffed in response, running a hand through his hair in frustration.

“You should have told me…”

“Why? It was ages ago… who cares?”

“I care!” he replied, raising his voice, the announced storm finally reaching the surface, making the air heavy and filled with electricity.

“I don’t understand,” you admitted, keeping your voice low and calm, but it didn’t soothe Ben’s anger.

“I thought… You said you hadn’t watched anything I was in. You lied!”

“I didn’t lie! At the time, you had just finished working on the Punisher, and I hadn’t watched that.”

Four years… that was too long ago, he couldn’t remember the exact words that were spoken. And perhaps you were right. Perhaps you had never claimed to have never watched anything he had been in but were only unaware of the project he was working on at the time. Perhaps he had been the one distorting your words a little. But it didn’t matter. Ben was still angry, even if he might be in the wrong.

Because it meant that… how could he trust you now? How could he know that you were the one? That he he was enough?

“Did you go on a date with me because I’m an actor?”

It was your turn to be hurt, he read it in your eyes.

“What?”

“Did you accept to go on a date with me only because I’m an actor? Just for the clout?”

“How dare you!” you protested, standing up as well, hurt mingling now with anger. “Of course not! Who do you think I am?”

“I don’t know… I’m not sure to know that anymore…”

“What do you mean?”

“I thought you went on a date with me, and then became my girlfriend because you… not because of the fame, or the money or…”

“Of course, I didn’t! What’s next, you’re gonna call me a whore and claim I only slept with you for money? I don’t need your money, and I never have!”

“I didn’t say that…”

“You’d better not! Besides, let’s bring your ego down a notch, because you might be talented, but you’re not a superstar either, Ben.”

“No need to be mean.”

“You’re basically saying I’ve slept with you for money! How is that not insulting?”

But Ben was less and less convincing at hiding his hurt behind his anger. Because there were tears at the corners of his angry gaze, and a shakiness in his voice due to a tightened throat; and if he clenched his jaw and fists now, it was to hide the fear that crept within his heart.

Because if you had fantasized on this person he wasn’t… was it what you saw in him? Was it what you saw at the beginning, at least?

Because he thought that he was enough, but then again… was he? Had you fallen in love with him or with the image of him you already liked?

“What about the fantasy of it then? What about that crush on someone I’m not?” he spat, holding onto the rage to hide the fragility he longed to forget.

“What are you even talking about?”

“Was I a fantasy to you?”

“What?!”

“You heard me.”

“What do you mean ‘a fantasy’?”

“Well, I don’t know… Apparently you had a crush on me before we even met! Or, to be more precise, you had a crush on someone I am not.”

He expected you to keep your voice high, maybe to raise your voice even more. But you didn’t. Instead, he was taken aback as you visibly relaxed, as your gaze softened, as you heaved a sigh.

“Ben… what’s wrong? For real?”

“I told you what was wrong! You lied, and now… I don’t even know if this is real anymore. Us. Our whole relationship… we were supposed to get married!”

“Were?”

“I don’t know anymore.”

But he regretted these words as soon as they passed his lips. Because despite his stupid doubts, he loved you with all his heart. You were the one, he knew it.

Why was he pushing you away like this, then?

But you didn’t fall for it, didn’t follow him down this path of anger he was opening for you. Instead, you wrapped your arms around him, holding him tightly, and he was so taken aback that he didn’t protest, nor moved away.

“I love you,” you said, your voice soothing again, warm and reassuring, your natural tone. “I love you more than anything. And this has nothing to do with your job, or with whether or not I liked Caspian years ago. I fell in love with you on our seventh date when you got us lost on our way to the beach because you have no sense of direction whatsoever.”

He rolled his eyes, but you weren’t fooled. You could feel the muscles of his back relaxing under your hands.

“I love you, Ben. You know I do. So… what is this all about?”

He shrugged, looking away so you wouldn’t see that he was holding back tears.

How could he say it? That he was terrified all over again that one day you would change your mind. That one day, you wouldn’t think as him being enough…

Because it happened before, but you didn’t really know that. It happened, over and over again. Because people expected him to be someone else, and they fell for his public image at first, for a fictional character, and then they woke up next to him and they just… disappeared. Because disappointment always drove people away.

But this time around, it was different. You were different. You made him feel so safe, so confident, so loved… if you turned up to dismiss him just like the others, Ben wasn’t certain he would be able to overcome it this time around.

But he couldn’t tell you that.

It was okay, though, he didn’t really have to. You read it in his eyes when you caught his gaze for a second before he could look away once more, you noticed it in his clenched jaw and the slight shaking of his hands, you saw it in the fear that he tried to hide still but was painted in every crinkle of his handsome face.

“There’s no need to push me away,” you spoke in the softest voice, and he felt safe all over again. “I’m not going anywhere. I’m not leaving. I’m happy with you. And I don’t care about anything but being with you. With the real you. The one waking up way too early on Sundays, and who gets lost everywhere he goes, and always has to make lists for everything, and sings all the time, and cuddles me every morning, and worries about our tickets way too much when we leave for a vacation and… You. Just you. I just want to be with you, Ben. Everything else doesn’t matter. Okay? Do you understand? I don’t need anything more, as long as I can spend my life loving you.”

You could have gone on, but Ben suddenly wrapped his arms around you as well, finally reciprocating your gesture, and he held you tightly, so tightly you could hardly breathe, but you didn’t mind.

You heard him sniffing as he buried his face into your hair, breathed deeply the sweet scent of your shampoo.

He was being ridiculous… this was ridiculous… You were right. You loved him. And he loved you… God, he loved you so damn much, it physically hurt…

“I’m sorry,” he breathed, trying to calm down, anger slowly being replaced by this sense of fragility he was desperate to avoid. “I didn’t… I’m sorry. It was pretty ridiculous, right?”

“It’s okay.”

“I… I guess I had a little… insecurity crisis for a moment.”

“Yeah, I got that. I don’t really understand why though.”

“It’s just… I’m afraid sometimes that people don’t like me as much as they like the idea they have of me. Do you understand?”

Slowly, you nodded, he felt your head moving against his cheek and shoulder.

“I see. But I don’t care about that. I love you for who you are.”

It was his time to nod.

“It’s just… I’m worried sometimes that one day you’ll realize I’m just me, nothing more. And that… I’m not… that I can’t get you more than that. More than me.”

“But you’re everything I need, Ben. You’re enough. You’re so much more than enough, actually.”

Finally, he smiled, grinned even, you felt the gesture against your skin as he pressed his lips to your temple.

“I feel very stupid. I’m sorry,” he apologized in a whisper.

“It’s alright.”

“Are you mad?”

“No, I’m not. I think you could have handled that better, but it’s okay. Do you still want to watch a movie with me?”

He chuckled, pulling away just enough to gently hold your face in both his hands, and kiss you for a rather long time. If any trace of anger had remained in your heart, it was fully gone after this loving gesture.

He offered you a grateful smile when you finally opened your eyes again.

“I will always want to watch movies with you, my love. Even when I act like an idiot.”

***************************************

Taglist: @reg-arcturus-black @wolfmoonmusic

#ben barnes #ben barnes x you #ben barnes x reader #ben barnes x y/n #ben barnes fanfiction #ben barnes fanfic #ben barnes oneshot #fanfic #fanfiction #writing

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stupidspidey · 29 days

Text

DRAKE VS KENDRICK LAMAR

(Hey! here’s all of the songs i referenced that i cns actually add here! Plewse note i literally forgot to cover *meet the grahams*, but, fuck it, whatever.)

With the recent ongoing war between Kendrick Lamar and Drake, i feel like as someone with way too much time on their hands and nothing else going on for the day, what better than to write a cohesive timeline of literally *everything* that’s happened? And i don’t mean from **First Person Shooter**, i mean from **good kid, m.A.A.d city** type everything. Yeah, the Drake stuff isn’t exactly as recent as it may appear. Saying as theres no more ‘intro’ for me to give, here i go.

***Buried Alive Interlude (ft. Kendrick Lamar) - Take Care (2011)***

This was the beginning of the relationship between Drake and Kendrick, both of them considering eachother peers in the industry, despite being in such different lanes. (Lamar conceptual, and Drake more mainstream.), In an interview Lamar describes Drake as “A good guy.” (paraphased), regardless, things seemed alright for the two, the only real “beef” being their opposing views on how they views on their wealth and fame, Lamar keeping personal details quiet, while Drake frequently posts his lavish life to his thousands of followers.

***Poetic Justice (ft. Drake) - good kid, m.A.A.d city (2012)***

To say the two artists were always in some sort of feud would be wrong. On Kendrick’s debut album later rap classic, ***’good kid, m.A.A.d city’***, we see a feature from Drake on the track Poetic Justice. A few things of note though, is that this time period shows us a good natured relationship between Drake and Kendrick, even Drake going as far to say that *“GKMC was the last great concept album.”,* though there was definitely tensions between the two, as Drake’s refusal to work with Kendrick again began after the lyric **”I’m usually homeboys with the same n——s i’m rhymin’ with, but this is hip-hop and them n——s should know what time it is. And that goes for J.Cole, Big KRIT, Wale, Pusha T, Meek Mills A$AP Rocky, Drake, Big Sean, Jay Electron, Tyler and Mac Miller, I got love for you all, but i’m tryna slaughter you n——s.”**

Drake took an offence to this, and spited a refusal to work with Kendrick over it, seeing it as a diss, though nowadays most view this as friendly competition from Lamar. After the fact of Drake’s refusal though, Lamar did go back on another song to say **”Yeah, and nothings been the same since they dropped Control. Tucked a sensitive rapper back into his pyjama clothes.”**, this line being aimed at Drake, and actually being considered the starting point between the two’s feud, having Drake in interviews act nonchalantly and saying he isn’t “taking the bait”, he was the only rapper to have taken offence to Lamar’s initial lyric. Some also found Drake’s initial compliments to *GKMC* offensive, as the term “concept album” usually gives the idea that everything on the album is a story, or ‘made up’, implying that Drake believes Kendrick’s story in Compton was fiction, though i find that to be a bit of a stretch personally. Some people also found it as a fairly backhanded compliment because of this.

***Control (ft. Kendrick Lamar) - Big Sean***

I mentioned earlier about how this song sparked the real aggression between the two artists, and that statement still stands. Coming off of tour alongside Drake and A$AP Rocky, we saw Lamar feature on this song alongside Big Sean, in which he aims not just for Drake, but the rap industry as a whole. To repeat the lyric from earlier, **”**I’m usually homeboys with the same n——s i’m rhymin’ with, but this is hip-hop and them n——s should know what time it is. And that goes for J.Cole, Big KRIT, Wale, Pusha T, Meek Mills A$AP Rocky, Drake, Big Sean, Jay Electron, Tyler and Mac Miller, I got love for you all, but i’m tryna slaughter you n——s.”** This lead the press to obviously inquire Drake on his thoughts on this, to which he responded: *”I didn’t really have anything to say about it. It just sounded like an ambitious thought to me. That’s all it was. I know good and well that [Lamar] ‘s not murdering me, at all, in any platform. So when that day presents itself, I guess we can revisit the topic.”* This quote came with the claims that Lamar’s ‘dream’ of murdering him (metaphorically) was simply a fantasy, and that he simply couldn’t live up to what Drake had established. In other words, Drake believes his star power keeps him away from the threats Lamar proceeds.

***King Kunta - To Pimp a Butterfly/100 - The Game***

In these tracks, Drake begins to show a response to Lamar’s claims. In *King Kunta*, from Kendrick’s sequel album **To Pimp a Butterfly**, now widely considered one of the most influential albums in rap, Lamar pens **“I can dig rapping! But a rapper with a ghostwriter? What the fuck happened?”** this lyric is aimed at allegations that some of Drake’s music is written by a team, rather than himself—— more commonly referred to as ‘ghostwriting’, I haven’t heard much about this, but i do believe the lyric **”I got a bone to pick! I don’t want these monkey-mouthed motherfuckers sitting in my throne again!”** could be a potential dig at not just Drake, but the industry as a whole— something Lamar has done a few times as we’ve covered. Either in coincidence or response, Drake released a jab at Lamar around the same time, penning **”I would have all your fans if i didn’t go pop and stayed down on some conscious shit.”** these two lyrics are really the last time in the 2010’s we hear of the beef between Drake and Kendrick up until the recent events, with both of them seemingly simmering, nothing is really said as far as i’m aware between this point and the next.

***First Person Shooter (ft. J.Cole) - FOR ALL THE DOGS (2023)***

Oh J.Cole. you poor, poor man.

*First Person Shooter*, one of the lead singles for Drake’s album ***FOR ALL THE DOGS***, is with no doubt a victory lap for Drake and his colleague Jermaine Cole (more frequently, J.Cole). On the track, Cole pens **”People argue who’s the hardest MC, is it K.Dot, is it Aubrey or me? We the big three like we started a league, but right now i feel like Mohammed Ali.”** Now to most, this would come off as a compliment, with Cole stating that the big three of rap is him, Kendrick Lamar and Drake, though a few people saw this as fairly backhanded, seeing the following Mohammed Ali comment along with the fact that Drake was also on the song to be placing Lamar in third, implying that Cole believes those two usurp Kendrick, putting him in the top 3 out of pity in a sense. This is what set the current ball in motion, and more importantly, set off Metro Boomin and Future. (Well, not really, but the next instalment happens to come from their album ***We Don’t Trust You*,** so…)

***Like That (ft. Kendrick Lamar) - We Don’t Trust You (Metro Boomin and Future) (2024)***

This is where the games begin. Lamar is featured as a surprise feature on Future and Metro Boomin’s collaboration album, **We Don’t Trust You**. In this surprise however, Lamar comes in full force. Penning **”They think i won’t drop the location, i still got PTSD, motherfuck the big three, n——a it’s just big ME! (n——a bum!)”**, being the most iconic of the shots thrown from Lamar, as for after Kendrick continues to call Drake and Cole ‘bums’. It’s obvious that this is aimed at the two, as Kendrick starts his verse with **”Fuck sneak dissing, First Person Shooter? i hope they came with three switches, i crash out like ‘FUCK RAP!’ diss Melly Mells if i have to, got 2 tees with me, i’m snatching chains and burning tattoos.”** This is, of course, the beginning of what i like to call “the war” between Drake and Kendrick (and J.Cole, who immediately backs out, respect to him though, shit gets crazy.), for the first few weeks, neither artists really respond to these lyrics, up until J.Cole.

***7 Minute Drill - MIGHT DELETE LATER (J.Cole) 2024***

This is where the responses come in. J.Cole fires back at Lamar after a few weeks of seemingly nothing from the two aimed at in FPS, on this track, Cole aims singularly for Lamar, using a multitude of lyrics and phrases to insult him. This isn’t actually the first time Lamar and Cole have been in a sort of “battle”, though with the brotherly bond between the two, it’s been seemingly in good hearted nature. On the track, Cole raps **”He’s averaging one hard verse like, every 30 months or somethin’.”** in reference to the large release windows between Kendrick’s albums, GKMC, TPAB, DAMN. and Mr Morale. Following this, he states that **”If he wasn’t dissing, then we wouldn’t be discussing him.”** Implying that if he hadn’t been aiming for the two, nobody would be discussing Kendrick Lamar at all. This most likely comes from the radio silence from Kendrick since Mr. Morale outside of surprise features like **America has a Problem.** Cole also claims that he’s **”Front of the line, with a comfortable lead, how ironic, soon as i got it, now he wants something with me.**” Telling us that Cole’s belief is Lamar’s aiming is out of jealousy or envy, rather than the usual friendly competition between the two. In a more extended line proceeding this, he pens **”Your first shit? A classic. Your last shit was tragic. Your second shit put n——s to sleep but the gassed it. Your third shit was massive, and THAT was your prime, i was trailing right behind, and i just now hit mine.”** Each line in this lyric is directed to a different Kendrick Lamar album. His first shit (***good kid, m.A.A.d city***) is considered a classic in the rap genre, and is considered by some to be Lamar’s best album. His last shit (**Mr. Morale and the Big Steppers**) is taken in a completely different direction than most of Lamar’s previous work, this leads it to be more negatively reviewed among the rest of his works. His second shit (**To Pimp a Butterfly***)* Is the follow-up album to GKMC, showing us the first instance of Lamar’s social commentary (though, present in GKMC), this making Cole claim it as putting people to sleep, as it was too introspective and political (This line is heavily disagreed with, as most people perceive TPAB as the best rap album of all time.) His third shit (***DAMN.***) is considered by most to be Kendrick’s prime, and also the peak of his fame. Featuring artists like Rhianna and with hit classics like DNA. and HUMBLE., the album is considered some of Lamar’s most iconic work to date. After the release of ***7 Minute Drill***, J.Cole immediately backed out and apologised, stating “Do y’all love Kendrick Lamar? Cause so do i.” And basically apologising to him. To this day it’s unknown wether or not this was out of either respect or fear for Lamar, though we do know that ScHoolboy Q, a colleague of Cole’s, told him to simply not get involved, as he knew it was more of a thing between Kendrick and Drake.

***Push Ups (Drop and Give Me 50) - Drake (2024)***

This transitions is smoothly into where we really are today, the consistent stream of tracks between Drake and Kendrick that seemingly antagonise eachother to no end. We begin with **Push Ups**, a track where Drake goes not just for Kendrick, but for everyone involved with ***We Don’t Trust You***. Drake starts the track with **”Drop, drop, drop, drop…”**, a seeming triple entendre to a multitude of things relating to Kendrick. First off, some interpret this as Drake telling Lamar to “drop” something, either being a response to him, or just solo music in general. Another interpretation follows the idea that he is telling Kendrick to “drop and give him 50%”, as it’s suspected that Lamar’s label takes a 50% cut of whatever he releases. A third (and less interesting) interpretation is that it’s in reference to Lamar’s frequenting of the parks to do his exercise routines, namely doing 50 pushups. following this we hear **”I could never be nobodies number one fan, your first number one, i had to put that in your hands.”**, Implying Drake believes Kendrick’s fame comes from his features on Drake’s album ***Take Care***, and Drake’s features on ***Poetic Justice*** (both covered earlier.), following this, we get **”How the fuck you big-stepping with a size seven men’s on?”**, this is both a reference to Lamar’s album ***Mr. Morale and the Big Steppers***, and also Lamar’s height, being 5’5. Later on, we get **”Maroon 5 need a verse, you better make it witty. Then we need a verse for the Swifties, Top says drop, you better drop and give em 50!”**, this is in reference to how Kendrick has previously featured on songs for both Maroon 5 (***Don’t Wanna Know**)* and Taylor Swift (***Bad Blood***), Drake uses this almost in mocking. The “drop and give me 50” line is repeated through the song. Following this is **”Its like your label, boy, you’re in the scope right now. And you’re gonna feel the aftermath of what i write down.”**, this references both of the labels Lamar has been signed to, Interscope Records and Aftermath Records. To cap off what i’m gonna cover for this song (lest i be here for hours), Drake pens **”Pipsqueak, pipe down. You ain’t in no big three, SZA got you wiped down, Savage got you wiped down, Travis got you wiped down—“**, this line tells us seemingly whay Drake *a*ctually believes to be the big three, unlike what Cole claimed on First Person Shooter, this also seemingly a jab at Cole aswell, as Drake seems to ‘remove’ him from the big three. He later also says **”I don’t care what Cole think, that Dot shit was weak as fuck.”** seemingly solidifying this line of thought. Drake is now out for both Kendrick and Cole.

***Taylor Made Freestyle - Drake (2023)***

This song seemingly stems from Drake’s impatience for Lamar to respond. (something he’d largely backtrack on later), To give some context to the title, the real beef between the two began during the release of Taylor Swift’s album ***The Tortured Poets Department***, because of this, Drake accuses Lamar of being “scared” to drop within this timeframe, in fear of being overshadowed. Unfortunately, in this song Drake begins by targeting one of Kendrick’s idols, Tupac, through the use of his AI Generated voice, a move that would wildly lose Drake the public vote. I’m not going to cover the stuff that’s used from the AI Snoop Dogg or Tupac primarily because (and trying to remain as completely unbiased as possible), Drake is a massive bitch for using them. Anyway, onto the first line of note: **”But now we gotta wait a fuckin’ week cause Taylor Swift is your new Top, And if you boutta drop then she has to approve.”**, this comes again from Drake’s belief that Kendrick is scared of dropping out of fear of being overshadowed, stating it as if Taylor ‘owns’ Kendrick. If i’m being completely honest, that’s literally all i can say about this track, pretty much every line aimed at Kendrick can be summed up to that exact definition, so i’ll move on the the next track.

***euphoria - Kendrick Lamar (2024)***

This is where Kendrick begins his involvement, by not just dropping his response, but by dropping two in one day, **euphoria** and **6:16 in LA** (the latter of which i’ll cover next). The track begins with a reversed sample from a remake of ***The Wizard of Oz***, in which a character proclaims **”Everything they say about me is true!”**, this could be interpreted to Kendrick owning up to the title of *”The Boogeyman”* some have given him in previous beefs. Following up this, Lamar begins the track with a slow, melodic beat, as he softly rhymes over the top of it. He pens **”You’re moving just like a degenerate, every antic is feeling distasteful.”** in reference to Drake’s use of AI voices on ***Taylor Made Freestyle***. After this, we receive a beat switch in which Lamar begins to ‘battle-rap’. We begin with **”Have you ever paid five hundered thou’ like, to an open case?”** This line is allegedly written in reference to Drake’s sexual assault allegations from Instagram model *Laquana Morris*, in which he paid $350k in settlement. Though this could also be in reference to Lamar’s 2017 lawsuit in which LOYALTY. was accused of plagiarism by *Terrance Hayes*, a case that was later dismissed and dropped with little to no explanation. Later, Lamar pens **”Id rather do that than let a Canadian n——a make Pac roll in his grave.”**, Another reference to Drake’s previous usage of Tupac’s AI voice, and more notably, Kendrick’s desire to defend Tupac’s legacy from that sort of usage. **”What is it, the braids? Oh you dont wanna work with me no more? Okay.”** Is in reference to how Drake’s haircut (twisted braids) has him thinking wrong to go against him. The following comment about not working with him is in reference to Kendrick’s comments on **Control**, aimed at Drake, and his reaction to no longer wanting to work with Lamar. **”Its three GOATs left, and i see two of em hugging and kissing on stage.”** Is in reference to ***It’s All A Blur Tour***, in which J. Cole and Drake headlined together, a photo commonly shared of the two of them hugging on stage. **”Yeah, fuck all that pushing P, let me see you Pusha T!”** Is in reference to Drake’s previous beef with Pusha T, in which he revealed that Drake had a son, Adonis. This later removed all responses from Drake, making people consider Pusha T the winner. There’s a LOT more lyrics in this song, but i’m gonna cut it primarily for actually making space for the rest of this stuff.

***6:16 in LA - Kendrick Lamar (2024)***

In a surprising move from Kendrick, he released two songs in a row, this one more personally aimed at not just Drake and everyone he’s associated with, but Drake himself. With this track there aren’t many lyrics i actually want to select and really explain like i have in previous sections so i’d be better off more or less explaining how tensions were in the release of this track. People were no short of surprised to see Lamar drop such a substantial amount of tracks in one day, making most people seemingly ‘switch sides’ from Drake, while most others applied the argument that “most had decided their winner before their battle even started.”, however this song is the prelude before we really get Kendrick to delve into Drake’s allegations, and more impressively, straight up call him a p*dophile.

***Family Matters - Drake (2024)***

After a day or two of waiting with bated breath, Drake finally responded to Lamar’s tracks with a return to burn Kendrick. The song begins with a reused sample of **Push-Ups**, almost making the song seem to be a sequel to that, Drake begins by proclaiming that **”Cole losing sleep over this, that ain’t me.”**, in reference to Cole’s exiting from the battle. However a lyric following this further landed Drake into a negative public opinion, as he raps **”Always rappin’ like you’re tryna get the slaves freed.”**, seemingly dissmissing to the work Kendrick’s done for knowledge on Black History, as well as mocking Lamar’s general influence and introspective style of rap. Later, Drake finally fires back with allegations that Kendrick is abusive toward his wife, with the line **”Ay, let that shawty breathe.”**, allowing the listener to interpret that Lamar may be involved in abusing his wife, Whitney. (Though, this was later seemingly disproved by a tweet from Whitney’s brother showing support toward Kendrick.) Drake then raps **”Shake that ass for Drake, and shake that ass for free.”**, implying both that Whitney is disloyal to Kendrick, and that Drake supposedly wants this to be a song people dance to in clubs via twerking or something, this later backfired as Lamar’s next track, ***Not Like Us***, actually ended up being played in a multitude of clubs and raves upon release. Drake later raps **”good kid, m.A.A.d city van, we’ll pop the latch and let the door slide.”**, seemingly in reference to a drive-by in Kendrick’s Compton days, as in the album the Van is used as a symbol of protection from the violence in the world outside. Drake is proclaiming he will destroy Kendrick’s only sense of protection. In Part III of the song, Drake begins by rapping **”Kendrick just opened his mouth, someone go hand him a Grammy right now.”**, seemingly believing that all of Lamar’s Grammys are given based off of popularity over talent, though Drake follows this with **”Where is your uncle at? Cause i wanna talk to the man of the house.”,** this is in reference to the **Mr Morale and the Big Steppers** track **Auntie Diaries**, in which Kendrick tells the story of his Auntie transitioning into his Uncle. The bar basically mocks Kendrick for being less masculine than a trans person, sort of transphobic to me but, yknow. From here it’s just more lyrics about the allegations of Kendrick’s abuse of his wife, bringing us onto **Not Like Us**.

***Not Like Us - Kendrick Lamar (2024)***

This track is the pinpoint for when we go from ***To Pimp a Butterfly*** to ***To Catch a Predator***. In this track, Kendrick fully goes in on Drake’s sexual abuse and pedophilia allegations, exposing a major amount of Drake’s argument. The first influential lyric on this track is **”Say, Drake, I hear you like em’ young.”**, again in reference to these allegations, now, to get this out of the way now, i’m gonna say the same for **”Certified Lover Boy? Certified Pedophile!”** and **”Tryna stroke a chord, and it’s probably A-Minor!”**, the first of which being a reference to Drake’s album **Certified Lover Boy**, and the second referencing the guitar chord A-Minor, entendres with “a minor” (Holy shit, man.) **”Certified Boogeyman, i’m the one who upped the score with em’.”** Is in reference to the **Halloween** character *Micheal Myers*, and more importantly his intimidating presence, that of which Kendrick implies he also brings in his opponents, the usage of ‘certified’ could also be another reference to **Certified Lover Boy**., and with all that covered, that’s pretty much all that comes from this track and, honestly, the beef in general.

***THE HEART PART 6 - Drake (2024)***

To remain as unbiased as possible, this is where things get downright embarrassing, and honestly, what solidifies Kendrick Lamar’s win. For starters, the track title itself is in reference to Lamar’s **The Heart** series, which is typically used to debut a new album, like **DAMN.** and **Mr Morale and the Big Steppers.** This is actually a joke that was frequently used on Twitter beforehand, as well see with the rest of this track, most of Drake’s research comes less from his peers and more from Twitter, the track itself actually is an attempt to mock Kendrick Lamar’s sexual assault, something of which we learn, actually never happened. Drake raps **”Mother i— Mother i— That’s the one record where you say you got molested.”**, despite him saying this, **Mother I** is Kendrick talking about how his cousin didn’t molest him, but none of his family believed him, in other words, Drake completely misses the point. Before this Drake raps **”This Epstein angle is the shit i expected.”** When, in prior songs, nobody has mentioned Jeffrey Epstien. He also raps **”I only fuck with Whitneys, not no Millie Bobbie Browns.”** in reference to his allegations in messaging *Stranger Things* star Millie Bobbie Brown, despite being 17 years older than her. Yet again, Kendrick had never mentioned this beforehand.

***MR. MORALE VS THE 6IX GOD.***

In the end, it comes down to personal opinion on who you really think ‘won’ this sort of thing, it’s a very arguable and personal thing, wether you believe that Kendrick beats his wife, or that Drake is a pedophile, just know either way, when i release this Kendrick Lamar would have released 4 more tracks.

Wish me luck.

#kendrick lamar #kendrick diss #drake #drake diss #to pimp a butterfly #good kid m.a.a.d city #take care #j. cole #rap #hip hop #diss #beef #Spotify #SoundCloud

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fiveredlights · 2 months

Note

Okay I need to know things from literally ALL of the wip’s 😂

But I guess the ones that intrigue me the most are the post AUS2024 fic, the alternate Vegas 2023 story and the lmao daniel retirement fic!!

But like I said, I want to know all things lol! You are like one of my favourite authors ❤️

P.S. please feel no pressure to update, write or anything. Take your time

beth you ask and i will dutifully answer, gonna put everything under the cut because this is a long post 🫡

snippets: ausgp 2024/you're on another path

so fun fact about this one i wrote it post quali, and i had planned to post it after the race was done so i a "pre-wrote" two endings. i wasn't going to because i was gonna be like "oh max will win but something bad might happen to daniel" so i had this ready to go:

and i was sitting in the grandstand watching max's car explode in the pitlane and all i could think about was "did i do this. again" and honestly who knows.

Daniel’s already lying down face first on the bed when Max makes it back to their hotel room. He’s been doing it a lot recently after races, opening the door to their hotel room and just starfishing on the bed, unmoving until Max gently coaxes him to actually sleep.

God, if his twenty-something year old self could see him now.

Yeah, you’re back at the team you started with—no not HRT, that’s gone now, yes the Red Bull—not junior—sister team. The Red Bull seat? Yeah, not yours anymore, and it’s looking like it’s gonna stay that way. No, no podium at your home race, more like qualifying P18 because you were an idiot and drove over track limits. Points? Well, you had a good chance but I guess luck just wasn’t on your side yet again.

Oh, and that young and upcoming driver from the Netherlands? Yeah, he’s your boyfriend now—surprise, you’re gay! And he’s a three time world champion, but that’s probably not important.

Any one of those things would’ve sent Daniel into hospital, but all of those things combined?

Early death.

snippets: las vegas 2025/bonus fic reimagined

(i'm going to assume you mean las vegas 2025 and i'll give you both)

Max isn’t winning right now.

He couldn’t really tell you why.

Plenty of pundits, fans, strangers on the street have stopped him and asked him to dissect why he hasn’t won a championship in the past two years. He gives them a hastily PR trained and approved answer that seems to be more conscious in his mind now than before and cracks a well timed joke he’s sure his teammate would be proud of.

Then Daniel comes along and will say, “Max already has three, he’s got to leave some for the rest of us!”, and the conversation will usually move on quickly after that.

He knows that Daniel isn’t the sole reason for his non-winning ways right now, but when the eventual news of their relationship happens to drop, there’ll be dissections for days on if Daniel plays a part in Max’s performance right now.

The last time Max hadn’t won a championship was when Daniel Ricciardo was with Red Bull, surely there’s some connection there?

snippets: las vegas 2025/don't read the last page

(Max is italics, Daniel is not.)

Max 🩵

July 31, 2025

...

I may have accidentally

I swear it was an accident

Like I pinky promise swear to our first born child

Don’t bring Matilda into this

Did you murder someone

What

Why is that your first thing

You are making a big deal out of it

Like bigger than the podcast you did in January

So I have to assume you murdered someone

Okay well it’s not murder but nice to know you think I’m capable of it

Daniel

I forgot to take off my wedding ring and wore it in the paddock and people saw and I got asked about in the press conference

They definitely thought I was just engaged so I guess that’s just a silver lining

And you have a bet with Lando over when I was going to accidentally do this

Which is rude because I would never do the same to you Maxy

You literally have a bet with Fernando over if I’m going to slip up and say husband in an interview

How do you know that

And he’s Fernando you know you can’t say no to him

Daniel

When you came out you literally posted a photo of me on your Instagram

The whole paddock knows we are married

Half of them went to our wedding

About 85% of fans think we are in a relationship because you keep on teasing them with photos that is definitely me

Is it so bad that we just say yeah we’re married

We are literally about to have a kid

Okay well when you put it like that

I guess you’re right

I know

I’m always right

snippets: lmao daniel retirement

They asked him if he wanted a big farewell thing, like they had done with Sebastian and Kimi a couple years back.

He’d almost said no until Lando pulled a face and said “Mate, people’s last memory of you driving can’t be you heading to the pitlane again.”

So he agreed. Told Blake to tell them to keep it minimal. No standing on giant mockups of his face during the national anthem or whatever.

#wip game #maxiel #five writes #queued #daniel retirement au #don't read the last page #you're on another path

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quiltedgold · 2 years

Note

Saul and the cute new paralegal he's hired who wears pretty sheer, black pantyhose and skirts that are almost too short... Whenever they bend over (they seem to dropping all kinds of stuff, all the time!), there's a little voice in his brain getting louder, telling him to bend them over his desk and rip that pair of pantyhose at the crotch to have a quickie! If they complain about him ruining a favorite pair afterwards, he immediately promises to buy them more, any kind they want, as long as they're okay with replacing them more often ;)

ohhhhhh boy anon you have no idea what this awakened in me

here ya go! this is a good time to mention that i’ll use whatever pronouns for reader that are in the ask, and if there aren’t any, i’ll make my best guess or pick for myself!

i churned this one out pretty quick in a bout of inspiration. hope ya enjoy!

an impulsive man

contains: gn!reader, smut, dubcon if you squint but reader gives consent

Saul considered himself to be an impulsive man. Better to admit to the fact and prepare for its consequences than lie to himself, he reasoned. Some may consider impulsivity a fault, but whenever his body sprang him into action, his mind seemed to get itself up to speed immediately after and everything would turn out in the end.

But after watching his cute new paralegal bend over after dropping something for the umpteenth time this week, too-short skirt barely protecting their modesty, he found himself reconsidering his spontaneity.

If he was truly impulsive, he would have bent them over his desk their first day on the job, when they wore a skirt way too short for a business environment over sheer black pantyhose and Saul could practically see their panties when they leaned over to refill the printer tray.

Hell, he would have done it beforehand, at their first interview, when they’d worn a shirt with a few too many undone buttons and batted their eyelashes at him and said I’m a real eager learner, Mr. Goodman, but instead he just silenced the little voice telling him to tear the rest of their buttons off, and hired them on the spot.

Whose idea was it to hire a cute paralegal, anyway?

Oh, yeah.

His.

Saul curses his lust-driven hiring practices as the paralegal bends over his desk, talking about some clarification in the papers in front of him, but all he’s paying attention to is their chest dangerously close to his face and he’s shamelessly peering down their shirt and there’s no way they haven’t noticed by now, I mean why else would they keep coming to work in such slutty outfits, they’re practically begging for me to tear the crotch of their tights out and–

“Mr. Goodman?” a voice breaks though his spiral.

“Huh? Oh, yeah, what is it, sweetheart?” Saul fumbled, flicking his eyes from their chest to their eyes.

Their eyebrows raised. “Did you hear me? I asked whether you’d already finished up on this case.”

“Oh. No, yeah. Yeah,” Saul fiddled with his pinky ring.

“Yes or no, sir? I’d like to file this soon.”

Sir. The honorific went straight to his dick, like it always did, and it twitched in his pants.

“Yes. Yes, I have. Thanks for checking.” he swallowed. The moment they left, he may have to take care of his little problem. Unless…?

“Of course, sir. Oh–” a pen clattered to the floor, and they huffed in annoyance. “S’cuse me…”

And there they went again, bending down, this time literally right in front of his fucking face. He was close enough to, if he wanted to, reach out and push their skirt up. It wouldn’t even take much, they made those pantyhose so flimsy these days, just a yank and it’d rip right down the crotch and he could have his way with them.

The pen had fallen under the desk, and they had to stretch to get it, and they were making little breaths as they reached that sounded almost like moans, and

Jesus Christ they’re practically asking for it.

Fuck it.

The moment they stood back up, Saul leapt from his chair and pressed his hips against theirs, trapping them against the hardtop of the table.

They let out a little surprised squeak, then giggled. “About time, Mr. Goodman.”

“You little tease,” he growled. “God, I’ve been wanting to do this all week.”

Without a moment’s hesitation, he dug his fingers into the sheer netting of their pantyhose and ripped, tearing a hole right down the flimsy seam and exposing their hole to the cool office air.

Scrambling to unzip his pants and free his cock, he leaned down to whisper in their ear. “You’re lucky I’ve got control over my impulses, or else this would have been your employee onboarding.”

With a single thrust, he buried himself inside their heat, which amidst the haze of lust he found to be surprisingly wet and elastic.

“Did you prep for this, you little minx?” he groaned, mind dizzy with the sensation of finally being inside his cute paralegal.

“Maybe,” they purred, pushing back against his pelvis. “Was hoping one of these days you’d crack.”

“Shoulda said something sooner, doll,” he said, palming at their ass as he thrust erratically into them, driven by pent-up desire. “Hope you’re okay with a quickie.”

They replied with a pornographic moan, sending a shiver up Saul’s spine. He curled himself over their form and thrust harder, aware that their hip bones were likely banging into the wood of the desk. A fit penalty for having riled him up so much in the first place.

The sloppy sound of skin slapping on skin echoed through the rotund office space, and Saul thanked God that he’d had the idea to soundproof this room.

Afterwards, the paralegal perched on Saul’s lap, curled up against his chest as they both came down from the racing high.

Francesca kept trying to buzz in to yap at him, but he muted her line and instead focused on gently kneading into his paralegal’s ass, now bare under the skirt.

They lifted their head from his chest and pouted at him. “Hey. You ripped my favorite pantyhose.”

Saul laughed. “Don’t worry, sugar. I’ll buy you a truckload of those cheap scraps as long as you’ll let me rip ‘em all off you.”

#saul goodman x reader #saul goodman #saul goodman x y/n #better call saul fanfic #jimmy mcgill x reader #jimmy mcgill #better call saul

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inmyblueparadise · 1 year

Note

could u do a part two of the story ab the never have i ever and the mile high club thing and the aftermath of the show where the guys are all interrogating y/n and upset. if not that’s ok :) thankss luv

Hi lovie ! I didn't plan on doing a second part, so I hope you like it ! Sorry it's a bit short :) xx

You knew the second you heard that you were playing Never I Have Ever on TV, that you would get in trouble somehow.

And right you were !

It started the second you set foot in the dressing room. You sat on your makeup chair to get a little touch-up before leaving the building, knowing that fans and paparazzi were waiting for you.

So Angel, want to talk about the bombshell you dropped on us on tv ?

Honesty Louis ? Not really

I thought we were family, why didn't you tell us ?

And as much as you loved your boys, this comment pissed you off a bit.

Since when am I required to tell you every little detail of my sex life ? Because I don't remember asking you guys how it went every time I heard you fucking on the tour bus ? Or when you left early with your girlfriends ? Or even when you left a party with a random girl !

Common' Angel it's not...

It's not what ? The same ? Really Harry ? All of you want to talk about honesty ? I didn't know you were seeing Taylor, H ! I had to hear from it on Twitter !

Babe...

No ! I love you guys, really, I couldn't imagine my life without you, you literally are a part of me, but I'm not comfortable talking about this part. You know most of my life, hell, I told Niall about my first time ! But this story, has fun as you think it could be, I was not comfortable with it at the time. It was awkward and lonely and I felt used, so sorry if I didn't want my brothers to look at me with pity ! Exactly like you are doing right now !

Oh Y/N ! We would never judge you or make fun of you babe, you just took us by surprise that's all..

But Harry didn't have the chance to finish before the door slammed open. And you knew that you were going to get yelled at from the look your manager was giving you.

WHAT. THE. FUCK. WERE YOU THINKING Y/N ?

You could only look at him, narrowing your eyes, waiting for him to continue. You felt the boys tense behind you.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE REPERCUSSIONS ARE GOING TO BE ? YOU'VE JUST FUCKED UP EVERYTHING !

But it was too late, you were done being the good girl they wanted you to be, you were 19 for christ's sake !

I fucked up everything ? How about you take a step back and think for a second? You want us to sing about sex, but not talk about it ? Do you really think people hear us sing about sex, late nights, and wanting someone, and they think 'oh yeah those guys are virgins' I mean come on ! Should I do your fucking job and list the songs for you ? Rock Me ? Temporary Fix ? No Control ? Should I go on ?

It's not the point Y/N..

You felt Liam and Harry back you up, ready to help but you held your hand. You were done being treated this way by men who only see you as a cash cow.

Is it not ? You have no problems with letting the media say Harry is a womanizer, of having the boys take their shirts off or even having me in a bikini, but having me talking about sex is where you draw the line ? Tell me, I think there is a world for this ?

I'll help you out Angel, that's called sexism

Oh thank you Niall, that's it. It's sexist ! You throw me to the wolf, have me in PR's relationship, on a magazine cover barely covered, but me being truthful in an interview is not ok ? I'm not a toy you can play with, I'm a person, I'm a woman and I'm done being treated like a child.

You could hear a pin drop in the room. It was the first time you had stood up to the management for yourself, sure you had yelled at them a few times about how they treated the boys, but never you. And finally, at 19, you were taking the power. And god it felt good ! That's when you heard it. Someone clapping behind you. All your boys were looking at you, eyes shining with pride.

You had discovered yourself that day. Has the boys said, the baby grew up.

#one direction #imagine one direction #One Direction x reader #one direction x fem!reader #"fluff #directioners #harry styles #liam payne #niall horan #louis tomlinson #zayn malik #1d imagines #reader #imagine #imagine 1d #6th member of one direction #jonathan ross #angst

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cowgurrrl · 1 year

Text

The Actress

Pairing: rockstar!joel miller x actress!reader

Author’s note: hehe

Summary: Red carpet interviews with Joel

Warnings: talk of an intimate scene, idiots in love, Joel Miller being a wife guy, PDA

You're walking the red carpet for the premiere of your and Ryan's movie Hyde when you recognize one of your favorite interviewers. She's done a few interviews with you in the past, and she always asks unhinged or extremely thought-provoking questions; that's why she's one of your favorites. You gradually approach her, snapping pictures with Ryan and Joel along the way, and hug her.

"Oh, my God, hi! How are you?" You ask, and Rosie smiles.

"I'm good. How are you? You look stunning."

"I was literally just about to tell you the same thing. This blue dress is everything." You gesture to her beautiful baby blue dress, and she does a little pose for the camera, much to your excitement.

"Thank you! Alright, I've got some questions for you. Are you ready?" She asks.

"Always."

"Hyde has garnered a lot of online discourse about parenthood and the choice of having and raising a baby or seeking other options. When you read the script, what were your initial thoughts?"

"I thought it was an amazing script, and I knew it was an important story to tell, so I'm glad it's getting people to talk! Amber and Nick's relationship and decisions are so nuanced and complex, and I think it would be a disservice to the story if we didn't talk about it. But yeah, I remember being excited and a little nervous, but I knew I wanted to do it." You say.

"That's amazing! Okay, what was the hardest scene to film and why?" She asks, and you sigh as you bite your thumbnail.

"Probably the hospital scene. I won't give any spoilers, but that was a really, really long and emotionally taxing day. And Ryan couldn't even be on set that day because he'd start crying or I'd see him, and I'd just want him to be next to me, but that's not what the scene called for, so they literally closed set and told him he couldn't be there which was really hard for both of us. He's like my big brother, so it was difficult to do that without him, but afterward, he gave me the biggest hug, which was so nice."

"Speaking of Ryan, one of the parts of the movie that everybody is talking about is the cabin scene," she says, and you laugh. "What was it like to film that with him?"

"It was really strange! We've been friends for so long, so when we read that part of the script, we were definitely taken aback by it. We both spoke with his wife, Carolina, who's also an actor, before production about it, and at this point, I hadn't met Joel, so I was single, but she was so welcoming and knew it was just work. We also had an amazing intimacy coordinator, Tanya Reid, who guided us through every step and made sure we were taken care of. It really was a good experience, and I felt safe with him, and he felt safe with me, so that's really the only thing I can ask for."

"That's so sweet!" Rosie says, and you nod.

"Yeah, I'm really lucky to have gotten such a positive experience with someone I love so much."

"Okay, I have one more question for you."

"Hit me with it."

"Who's the better kisser? Ryan or Joel?" She asks, and your jaw drops.

"This is a horrible question!" You laugh.

"You don't have to answer it if you don't want to."

"No, I'm a goddamn professional," you purse your lips together as you think. "I'm going to say Joel because I haven't had to kiss Joel on a sound stage in front of a crew of about thirty people yet."

"Yet?" She asks, and you shrug as you glance back at where Joel is waiting for you.

"Well, he likes to come to set with me, and sometimes we'll need extras, and then he gets roped in, so I just have a feeling that it'll happen one day."

"So, you're telling me Joel Miller is doing non-union work on projects with you?"

"He actually said something about joining the union the other day, and I was like, "You've been in, like, three things. Please calm down." But yeah, I'm gonna go with Joel. Not that either of them are bad kissers! It's just weird to kiss Ryan at work and then go out to dinner with him and his wife, y'know? I think I'll stick with my own guy." You say as Joel walks over, hearing his name.

"Talkin' bout me?" He asks, kissing your cheek. He introduces himself to Rosie with a strong handshake and a gorgeous smile, that impeccable southern charm making an appearance.

"We were talking about how you're working on your EGOT status with all your non-union work." You say, and he laughs.

"Well, together, we've got, like, three-fourths of an EGOT."

"That's true."

"Joel, what do you think about all this?" Rosie asks, gesturing around at the event. "I mean, your girlfriend is pretty cool."

"Everythin' she does is pretty cool. I'm very lucky to have her in my life and to watch her thrive as an artist. I mean, there's nothin' better than watchin' your partner be happy, y'know?" He says, and you smile. “She’s also smokin’ hot. I mean, just look at her.”

“Joel!” You slap his chest.

“Do a spin! Show off the look!” He encourages you, grabbing your hand and raising it over your head. You oblige and spin under his arm. Joel wolf whistles in response, making you laugh, and fall into him. You two are the picture of domestic bliss: his arm wrapped around your waist and your hand on his chest, big smiles on both your faces.

“Well, you two are the internet’s favorite couple so we hope you guys have an amazing night. Congratulations on Hyde hitting theaters.” Rosie says, and you hug her.

“Thank you, sweetheart! Have a good night!” You say as you grab Joel’s hand. He uses his other one to shake Rosie’s hand one more time before walking the rest of the carpet with your guy.

#one for the money two for the show #rockstar!joel miller #tlou au #rockstar!joel miller x actress!reader

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imagineanime2022 · 2 years

Text

Affection With Shiratorizawa

Wakatoshi Ushijima X Reader, Satori Tendou X Reader, Eita Semi X Reader, Tsutomu Goshiki X Reader, Kenjiro Shirabu X Reader

Summary: Ways they show affection

Wakatoshi Ushijima

🦅 Toshi won’t often say the words ‘I love you’, but there are other ways that he will show you.

🦅 He does small things like always knowing where you are, he keeps an eye on you, he knows when you need his help and he’s there.

🦅 Someone knocks into you and he’ll catch you and recenter you before helping you pick up anything that you dropped.

🦅 He often reminded you of things that you needed to do if you forgot or misplaced something.

🦅 He always walked on the side of the road closest to the cars and linked your hands to make sure that you never got too far from him.

🦅 When there were large crowds he’d loop an arm around your shoulder to keep you close to him, he’ll see danger approaching you way before you did and have you avoid it without you ever knowing that it was there.

🦅 He literally pays for everything, he’s faster than you at every turn, he's handing his card over before you can even find your purse/wallet or count out your money.

🦅 Toshi is an amazing listener and he’ll listen to you talk for hours, he loves your voice and would give anything to hear you everyday.

🦅 He’s not into PDA really, he makes sure that everyone knows that your together though, soft kisses to the temple or linking your hands and of course looping his arm around your shoulder.

🦅 He flies you out to wherever he is if you want to come see him, if you do come he’ll be sure to search for your approval before acknowledging the fans or leaving your side for pictures, autographs and interviews.

🦅 He doesn’t really care about social media, so anything that is posted is always left up to you, he really doesn’t mind, he trusts you with his image.

🦅 He is more touchy when you're at home, he’ll wrap an arm around your was it when you cooking, stir while you add things to the pot and then eat with you while talking to you about his day.

You had spent the whole day laying across the sofa with your arm over your face, you had the biggest headache and you couldn’t shift it. You groaned as you moved your arm from your face and squinted as you flung your legs over the side of the couch standing up, you walked into the kitchen, you looked through the fridge as you tried to figure out something that you cook for Toshi, once you figured out something to cook you found some gloves and a mask to make sure that Toshi didn’t get whatever you were sick with.

Toshi walked into the house, he could hear you in the kitchen, he took off his shoes and walked into the kitchen he walked over but stopped short upon seeing the mask and gloves “why are you wearing that?” He asked.

“I’m not feeling very well. I didn't want to give you whatever I have.” You answered, Toshi frowned as he leaned forward turning off the stove. “Hey what are yo-”

“You said that you don’t feel well.” He said softly pulling you away from the stove “you need rest.” He gently took the mask off of your face and smiled softly when he could see your face.

“You’ll get sick.” You tried to step away from him but he looped an arm around your shoulder leading you towards the bedroom.

“Come on.” He urged, he walked you into the bathroom and started running a bath once he was happy with the temperature he helped you to get in, he knelt next to the tub and helped you clean yourself up, he noticed the way that your eyes started drooping. “Stay with me for a little while, my love.”

“Mm.” You hummed rubbing at your eyes, he helped you out of the tub before drying and dressing you.

“Do you feel sick love?” He asked as he tucked you into bed.

“No, just a headache and I feel really sleepy.” You explained snuggling into the covers “and a little cold.”

“Can you sit up for a second?” Toshi asked as he walked back into the room, he held out some painkillers and a glass of water “take these and then you can go to sleep.”

“You haven’t eaten yet.” You reminded him and he smiled, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

“I’ll finish what you were cooking if you promise to rest.” He said softly tucking you back into bed as you nodded.

“Okay.” You agreed, he didn’t leave the room until your breathing evened out and your body relaxed, once he was sure that you were comfortable he went and finished cooking, he put some aside for you in case you woke up hungry before going back to the bedroom, he ate in the bedroom with you, he made sure to keep you close to make sure he was there the moment that you needed anything.

Satori Tendou

🍫 Tori was one of the most expressive when it came to your relationship, he told you every chance that he got that he loved you.

🍫 Says he loves you every time that he left the house or ended a call no matter who was around.

🍫 He was always taking selfies and posting them with captions about how amazing and beautiful you are.

🍫 You are his lockscreen and he never misses the chance to show people who his beautiful girlfriend is.

🍫 You are his one and only taste tester, your opinion was the one that mattered and he made sure to remember your favorite for special occasions.

🍫 As he gained fame for as a chocolatier, there were girls who tried to get his attention and he would always turned them down but if he saw that it bothered you in any way he’d walk over and press the most obnoxious kiss to your lips followed by a wink as he started a conversation with you and left the girl hanging.

🍫 Thanks to his volleyball days he could read the mood that you were in by just looking at you and often did his best to make you feel better or maintain a good mood.

🍫 He made sure that he finished early at least once a week and never worked weekends so that he could spend time with you.

🍫 He never let you think any less of yourself and any time that you said something bad about yourself he took you to the nearest reflective surface to tell you all the reasons that you were wrong.

🍫 If someone asked a question about you that he didn’t know the answer to, he would make sure that he asked you so that he’d be able to answer the question later.

🍫 Whenever you were sitting together he’d always put your hands together and measure them before intertwining his long fingers with yours and gently running his thumb against your knuckle.

He loved going back to Japan with you, if you met there it was nostalgic and if you didn’t he liked showing you all the places he went when he was younger.

You had just gotten back from shopping with a few friends, you were looking for an outfit to wear to the banquet that Satori had told you he was taking you to “Tori!” You yelled as you walked into the bedroom putting the bags on the bed, you saw that the bathroom door was slightly open and you could hear the shower. “Tori!”

“Hey baby! Didn’t think you would be back so soon!” He yelled as you heard the water stop, he stepped into the room a couple of seconds later drying his hair and walking over to the bags. “What did you get?”

“I could show you if you want?” You suggested attempting to walk past him, he wrapped an arm around your waist pulling you into him.

“I would love for you to show me.” He smiled, pressing a kiss to your shoulder.

“You're going to have to let me go if you want to see.” You reminded him but his arms only tightened around you. “Tori?” When there was no answer you poked at his side and he jumped away from you.

“What was that for?” He asked massaging his side where you poked him.

“You were dripping water all over me.” You pouted and he smirked as he turned away from you to pull on a pair of boxers as you took the dress out of the bag, he walked up behind you and wrapped you up in his arms again.

“I like it.” He said softly.

“It’s not on me yet.” You giggled.

“Anything would look good on you.” He dismissed your sentence as his fingers started to move against your sides.

“Tori stop that!” You tried to get away from him, he leaned forward forcing you to fall on the bed as he continued to tickle you.

“This is for poking me.” He laughed as you tried to roll away from him.

“Stop! Stop!” You yelled, finally managing to slip away from him.

“Alright I’m sorry,” He smiled, sitting up and putting his hands out to you. “I’ll stop.”

“You promise?” You asked.

“Mmhm. Now how about we order some food and then you show me that dress you bought and then we’ll watch that show you wanted to watch.” He suggested.

“Really?” You asked.

“Yeah.” He answered as he handed you his phone to choose something to eat while finished getting dressed.

Eita Semi

🎸 Eita didn’t need the world to know about his affection for you but he made sure that you knew.

🎸 When you were in public he would only go as far as holding your hand and kissing your cheek however it was a different story inside the house.

🎸 When he was listening to you talking gently, running his hands over your arms or back while listening to you also adding in his opinion when needed.

🎸 He’d defend you to the end of the earth, you made sure to be careful what he told you because he never cared how his behaviour would affect him if it defended you.

🎸 Yes he's a musician but you were the first person he would talk to when something was pitched to him, he wanted to know what you felt about it, if you didn’t like it he wasn’t doing it.

🎸 He made sure that you liked all of his band mates before officially joining the band.

🎸 He has picks with your name on them for when you weren’t able to be at a concert or event, though most of the time he made sure that you could be, even going as far as changing dates to fit your schedule.

🎸 Whenever you had down time, he’d make sure that you both spent the time together whether you were laying together in bed listening to music, sitting together watching a show you needed to catch up on or he was helping you with something.

🎸 Will always say that he loves you especially when you were going to be spending an extended amount of time apart.

🎸 He’d always comment on an outfit that he liked and would make sure to tell you about an outfit or item of clothing he loved.

🎸 Would pretend that he hated when you took his clothes but loved walking into a room and seeing you in his shirt and would leave them around to make sure that you were never cold.

🎸 He’d always put his hand on your thigh when he was driving even when you weren’t the only ones in the car.

“Semi!” You whined as you walked into the living room where he was sitting on the floor with his guitar, he looked up at you and smiled.

“How can I help you?” He asked pushing aside the sheet music that he was looking at to give you his full attention.

“I’m bored!” You informed him “what are you doing?”

“Just working on some stuff for the band.” He answered.

“Oh! Sorry I’ll go find something to do-”

“Come here.” He smiled, gesturing for you to come over.

“Your busy-”

“Come here.” He said it firmer this time and patted the floor in between his legs. You walked over still a bit unsure but when you finally sat down he pulled you until your back was pressed against his chest he put the guitar on your crossed legs and rested his head on your shoulder.

“You wanna learn how to play?” He asked.

“I tried before but I couldn’t get it right…” You informed him and he smiled.

“Bet I can teach you.” He smiled moving your hands to the right positions gently talking you through the basics running through cords with your hands placed over his to mimic hand and finger positions before getting you to do it yourself. Your attempts were sloppy but that was expected.

“What were you working on before I came in?” You asked, his arms moved from around your waist to take the place of your hands on the guitar, he started to play the music as you leaned back into him listening. “You write that?”

“Mhm.” He nodded. “I’ll write a few different ones and the guys will choose what ones they like or we’ll change them a little.”

“I like this one.” You mumbled “if that means anything.”

“Means everything, beautiful.” He said softly as he put the guitar to the side and hugged you tighter.

Tsutomu Goshiki

💚 Goshiki is second loudest about his love for you, the only difference between him and Tendou is that he gets flustered when you return his feelings.

💚 He will actually get angry at you if you make self-deprecating comments, he thinks that you're amazing and will have you think no less of yourself

💚 He seeks your approval the same way that he did Ushijima, when you gave him your approval he made sure to compliment you as well.

💚 Loves to take you to practice and have you at games, he makes sure to find you in the crowd when he has the chance and even blows you a kiss every once in a while. Catch it… He’ll have something to say if you don’t.

💚 While his training and games didn’t allow for traditional dates he will try to get you out to wherever his team is playing and then you’d both stay for a couple days after so that you could see the sights.

💚 His lock screen would change every time that he took a new picture of you, he was always ready.

💚 If you start talking before someone else, no matter how important he won’t answer them until you're finished, he claims it’s because he doesn’t hear them but you're not convinced.

💚 He sends gushing messages to friends telling them about how amazing and cute you are.

💚 Will call you every night that you aren’t together and stay on the phone with you until you're ready to hang up or you fall asleep.

💚 When you guys watch a movie or tv series together that you love, you’ll quote lines to each other, like your own language, literally no one else understands.

💚 You’d always be the first person that he asked when he needed help, he trusted you with everything, he gave you all his passwords, security codes and pins in case you needed anything while he wasn’t there.

💚 Will encourage anything that you want to do or try, never tells you that you can’t do it.

You guys finally had a day off, the team had a rest day after they won a championship and you had some holiday to use, the whole day had consisted of you laying around doing nothing, you caught up on episode of shows that you hadn’t watched and even watched a new movie, you had ordered something to eat. “I need to do a hair mask and a face mask.” You mumbled to yourself as you looked at your reflection in the mirror in the hallway.

“Let’s do it!” He cheered as he wrapped an arm around your waist.

“You don’t have to do it.” You smiled and he shook his head.

“I want to.” He promised as you looked at him before nodding.

“Okay.” You smiled. You both went and had a shower getting into your dressing gowns, you got all of your self care stuff out as he walked into the room, you gestured to the chair for him to sit down, he walked over pushing you into the seat first “You did mine first last time.” He said working the hair mask through your hair softly before scooping all of your hair into a shower cap and using the hair dryer to add some heat before you swapped places for you to do the same.

“Hey, I spoke to Semi the other day.” He said as you straddled his waist to put the clay mask on his face.

“Oh yeah?” You asked.

“They were talking about getting together there to watch a TV show for Tendou we were all going to watch together.” He explained.

“You know you don’t need my permission to meet up with your old friends.” You smiled as you spread the clay evenly.

“First off I do, maybe you had something planned, second I was asking because I want you to come with me.” He answered. “They all want to see you again as well.”

“Really?” You asked.

“Why do you sound so surprised?” He asked. “Everyone loves you.”

“I doubt that.” You mumbled as he started gently applying the clay to your face. “When are you meeting up?”

“In a couple of weeks.” He answered, making sure that he was happy with his work before scraping the excess back into the pot and then wiping his hands off. “You want to go?”

“Of course I’ll go.” You smiled, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. “Hey Goshiki?”

“What up Babe?” He asked.

“Thank you for doing this with me.” You smiled.

“Anytime I’ll do anything to spend time with you, I just want to see you smile.” He pressed a quick kiss to your lips before you guys continued with the rest of the routine.

Kenjiro Shirabu

🩺 Shirabu was very busy with his studying but he tried to make sure that there was still time for you.

🩺 He made sure that he ate food with you and allocated time to step studying and doing assignments to spend time with you.

🩺 When you went out together he would make sure that he had a clear plan for everything, if you went to a restaurant he would ask what you want and order for you.

🩺 If he noticed that you were uncomfortable he’d pull you out of the situation and try to figure out what had caused your change in mood, as well as getting you away from it if you needed to.

🩺 He’d often tell you how much he loved you and how much he needed you just to make sure that you never felt unloved.

🩺 He made sure to pick up things that you liked, even if he only heard you mention it in passing.

🩺 He loved sitting with you when he was studying. He would have his face buried in a textbook but he’d have your legs or head on his lap so that he was touching you in some way.

🩺 He’d literally cancel plans for you, he decided a long time ago that time with you was more important than anything else.

🩺 Sometimes he got frustrated or angry and needed to take a step away from whatever he was doing, he’d either come find you or call you just to hear your voice and ground himself.

🩺 He’d often trace over your face in the morning to wake you up when you guys needed to do something or go somewhere. When you didn’t have anywhere to go he’d just lay there and admire you.

🩺 He didn’t really like photos that much but if you really wanted one he’d do it for you, which is how you got your matching lockscreens.

🩺 He’d always know when you were wearing a new item of clothing and would compliment it and even tell you about how good it would look with something else you wore before.

It had been a tough week for Shirabu, he had been locked away in the bedroom or at the library until dinner and then he ended up falling asleep before he could even ask you about your day, you never said anything but he felt really bad about it, he had managed to finish the assignment that he was working on though so he could make it up to you. He walked into the living room where you were sitting with your feet kicked up on the sofa, he stood at the end of it, climbed over the arm and dropped down, his head rested on your chest while the rest of his body slotted between your legs, you smiled as you put your phone down. “Did you finish that assignment?” You asked.

“Yeah I finished it.” He answered eyes closed.

“Are you hungry?” You asked gently, running your hands through his hair.

“No… Are you?” He asked.

“I ate something a little while ago, a sandwich.” You answered as he hummed in response before opening his eyes.

“So we can stay like this for a little while?” He asked.

“Yeah sure we can.” You said softly “you deserve a rest.”

“And you serve some attention for putting up with me these past couple of days.” he mumbled moving his head until he found some skin to press a kiss to.

“Are you done for a little while?” You asked.

“Mm, that was the last assignment before the holidays, I can spend more time with you for now.” He mumbled.

“I just don’t want you to be stressed out anymore.” You informed him and he looked at you and smiled.

“I love you.” He confessed and you bit your lip.

“I love you too.” you pressed a kiss to the top of head before turning to the TV. “Is there anything that you want to watch?”

“Doesn’t matter, just don’t leave.” He mumbled and you smiled putting on something that you knew that he liked as you both settled down for the night.

Request Here

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kaiso-woo · 6 months

Text

Bonus #1 - Parallels

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　

-> Masterlist

Just because I want people to notice the little details of 'Stay Series'. If this makes no sense to you, then you shouldn't be reading this post.

READ EVERYTHING ELSE IN THE SERIES FIRST.

Here for a reading marathon? Head right back to the start!

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺

PART 1 - Just Stay.

I would briefly like to point out the title, as there are two others with similar titles. There’s also “Please Stay.” And “You Stayed.” And I believe those titles on their own speak volumes.

The studio door clicks open, and his head snaps to the sound. Immediately, he attempts to steady his breath, and pulls his expression into his signature straight smile :] as Jisung enters the room, a plastic bag filled with takeaway containers in his hand.

This actually happened one time. Chan mentioned however that it was on his birthday, and Jisung visited him with food in the middle of the night while he was working.

He pulled a face, his eyes wide, and waved his arms a little, “Thanks. Almost lost my balance there.”

I also directly took inspiration for this little ‘suicide’ after watching a video of Chan actually losing his balance in the middle of an interview.

Stay. Just stay. Stay’s. It’s you. You’re not staying.

I don’t know if you all understand how significant it is that this is called Stay Series. It’s probably obvious but I mean, we’re Stays.

“Chan hyung’s gone to the bathroom.” – posts Hyunjin.

Literally this.

“Just because you have a lot of stress, it doesn’t mean that you have to relieve it by hurting yourself.”

“If you think about the future… it’s best to just keep away from that and find different ways of relieving stress.”

“You never know what’s going to happen in the future. Something might go wrong, then there might be a turning point and then- from then on you feel really, really regretful,”

“If you really, really can’t help it or if you really just don’t know what to do or you’re really- really lost, as I’ve always said,” he smiles, eyes shimmering, “come here; look for me, ask me, talk with me.”

“I’ll try my best to relieve your stress,”

Actual advice from Bang Chan in a Chan’s Room episode.

You give him a once over, genuinely considering him, “I can’t shut down my only source of income for a day.” “Even for-” “Especially not for you.”

“The whole-? Library and everything?” you inquire, as you refill the jar of chai powder. “Mhm,” he hums, nodding to a regular as they float by, “Staff want us to film a Skz-Code Episode while we’re here, and they left it up to us to decide where.” “Oh. Sure. What do you need, for me to close up for the day?”

I found it funny that for James you were like “I can’t shut down my only source of income for a day,” but then for Chan you’re like “Oh. Sure.”

Go kill yourself. ‘Heh… funny.’

We all know this happened in reality.

The music playing in your earphones becomes too much, so you tug them out of your ears, your phone lighting up on the paused song of “Silent Cry”, by Stray Kids.

From Part 12 - You Stayed.: He sighs dramatically and whispers, more to himself than anything, “Worth a shot,” then proceeds to hum to a slowed tune of one of Stray Kids’ songs, “Silent Cry”.

Initially it was Silent Cry because ‘listen out for Chris’ silent cry, he’s crying rn and about to try kill himself. And then later on it gets turned into a lullaby, and idk it’s kind of painful to me.

He sounds so broken, crying his heart out as though he were a lost little child who dropped his ice cream.

From Part 12 - You Stayed.: You scamper further from the bed as he scrambles closer, like a child longing for a bite of your ice cream.

I don’t know why I chose to do this, but the child w/ ice cream reference was important. Again, it’s a sign of the evolution of your relationship.

Every drink that is, except for the special one you made for him – it was actually your Mum’s recipe.

From Part 12 - You Stayed.: “Not your favourite dish; the one my Mum makes. We’ve never shown you how to make that,” he giggles, before he picks you up bridal style, causing you to yell and dangerously wave around the knife.

Okay so Chris doesn’t know how to make that hot chocolate, and you don’t know how to make that dish. Perfect.

Perhaps your coping mechanism is to simply scream. Shut the doors. Close your blinds. Block your ears. Scream. Dry your eyes. Breathe…

Scream.

Perhaps your coping mechanism is to simply scream. Shut the doors. Close your blinds. Block your ears. Scream. Dry your eyes. Breathe…

Chris: “Are you awake?”

No one would have noticed this, but this is the end of the introduction describing grief. I used the same paragraph at the end, but removed only one word, “Scream.” From the end and replaced it instead with a conversation between you and Chris. It’s the little things.

Part 2 - Hey…

In case you haven’t noticed, all of my titles tend to be spoilers, or framing devices for the fics - which is what… titles are meant for… This one is because “Hey… how you doin’?”

You: “You’re actually annoying”

Chris: “Only for you~”

And here marks the beginning of Chris using this line on you.

“All good. I’ll just need some other info… just the names of the cats, when you’d like them to stay… your name and a phone number, if possible?” you’re sitting there, anticipating his answer, but the other end has gone radio silent.

“Are… you still there…?” you cautiously probe, not wanting to be annoying. “Soonie, Doongie and Dori.”

This is the reason why I centralised the eventual proposal around “Soonie, Doongie and Dori.” It started with them, and in a way, it ended with them - it’s full circle. They are used as a way to get Chris to ask you out on a date, and again also present when he proposes- I mean you propose.

“What are you doing here?” you breathe out, as Chris sidles up beside you to start the next order.

“I’m here for you. I told you I’d be back didn’t I?” Chris presses the button to start the coffee on his end, placing his cup neatly underneath the spouts.

From Part 6 - Heartbeat: “What the fuck are you doing here?” you seethe, sliding the door shut behind you forcefully.

“I’m here for you,” Chris croaks out, and your jaw clenches.

THIS HURT ME SO MUCH. I’M NOT EVEN GOING TO EXPLAIN BECAUSE IT SHOULD BE SELF-EXPLANATORY, BUT OUCH.

“It’s called a fucking date. Chan will pay for you,” Ashley snaps, and Chris nods vigorously, “Took the words right out of my mouth.”

From Part 3 - It’s a Sign: “It’s called a fucking date. I pay for you.” You roll your eyes and shove him gently, “Ashley is such a bad influence on you.” “Nahnah, remember she took the words right out of my mouth.” Chris grins, winking cheekily at you.

Just this cute little first date reference, that some of my readers might have been confused about.

Then, yelling over the top of one another, dragged Chris all the way down to the water where you still stood. He was laughing, putting up a bit of a fight but not really; he’d always be gentle with them. Once the members had managed to group everyone together, Jisung started chanting “Kiss! Kiss!” and the rest of the members joined in. Chris was hiding his face in his hands, making distressed noises, his ears burning bright red.

You shook your head in disbelief at the members around you, and instead pulled Chris into a hug, which he reciprocated, burying his embarrassed face into your neck. There were whoops and cheers (and Jisung’s disappointed “awhhhhh”), and then you forcefully pushed Chris down into the water, a stupid grin on your face. He came up spluttering, shocked, and then dove for your ankles. You squealed and sprinted away, crash landing into Felix, who caught you, but stumbled and fell into the water too – and then suddenly, everyone was getting dragged under.

From Part 11 - Soonie, Doongie and Dori As soon as the official ceremony was over, the Stray Kids members swooped in… grabbed you by your wrists and ankles… and sprinted you all the way over to the water, Chris being roughly tousled over too. You laugh at the familiarity of the situation, squealing slightly as the cold water drenches you.

Everyone surrounds the pair of you, Chris getting shoved into you as you try to stand, and you cling to him desperately. Jisung starts up the chant, and you grin at your husband, knowing you’re both thinking the same thing. “Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!”

You do. This time you do. Chris pulls you into a searing kiss, tasting slightly of salt water, one hand cupping your face, the other clinging tightly to your hip. When you separate, his forehead remains on yours, and he whispers, “What do you say we dunk Jisung first, hey?”

You laugh and nod, then kiss him swiftly one more time before you both turn with mischievous grins towards Jisung. His raucous cheering ceases, and he morphs right back into a quokka, trying to hide behind Minho as you and Chris race towards him.

I HAD BETTER NOT HAVE NEEDED TO EXPLAIN THIS - I MADE IT SO ACHINGLY OBVIOUS. I would also like to happily point out that your first date was at a beach, and you got married at a beach. Oh look, this author seems to like full circle events, doesn’t she?

Part 3 - It’s a Sign

I thought it was obvious, but apparently my friend didn’t make the connection until I told her. It’s called “It’s a Sign” because you mf run into a god damn sign right before your first kiss. Get it? It’s a sign? No? Ah….

Chris: “babe, I’m sorry I can’t pick you up”

You: “it’s okay!”

Chris: “I’m really sorry, you know that right?”

You: “Chris it’s okay, I know you are”

I just wanted to point this out because later on, in Part 8 - You Helping, or What? Chris actually does go pick you up at the airport, and it’s just a significant representation of how your relationship as evolved over time.

Part 4 - Sunshine to the Moon

Obviously it’s called sunshine to the moon because those are the names of endearment used in here, and also because technically speaking, I’m also saying that ‘you are Chris’ sunshine’.

Somehow you’ve managed to crawl on top of him, straddling his bare chest. Chris grabs your shoulders and pushes you up, grinning at you from below, “Since when were you this affectionate?” he coos, hands sliding over to cup your face and squish your cheeks. You roll your eyes at him and press on his chest lightly, again, feigning annoyance.

From Part 12 - You Stayed.: At this point, the only way you can think to overpower him is by tickling, and eventually you manage to reposition yourself on top of him, straddling his chest (amidst his cursing and begging you to play fair – which was inconsiderate, considering he literally never did). You yank the pillow out from underneath his head and pretend to suffocate him with it. His mocking screams for help eventually satisfy you, and you chuck the pillow to the side.

Again like… when you were sitting on top of him earlier on in the relationship, all you did to show your annoyance was press on his chest lightly. This time you suffocated him with a pillow. #RelationshipGoals

Part 5 - The Date of All Dates

There’s virtually nothing I could remember or pick on up on in this one either - but it’s called the Date of All Dates cause that is quite literally what it is. The date that ends all dates. LOL.

Part 6 - Heartbeat

Titled this because it was inspired by the song ‘Heartbeat’ by BTS. Also because Chris’ heart is most certainly not beating, or beating too fast, in this entire fic, with absolute pain.

You: “… Me or Skz???” You: “Ji?”

From Part 14 - Merry Chris-mas (Felix Never Bad) “Me or Stray Kids?” Chris hums, prodding you with his knee on the couch.

Yeah so yeah. Full circle. First you asked this question seriously, and later on in life Chris asks this question jokingly.

Immediately, you notice the pineapple juice and untouched croissant on the coffee table (A/N: And this parallel, the croissant guys), but your parents are nowhere to be seen.

Okay so this little detail is important because first of all, this means that you have told your parents absolutely everything about Chris, because they know he doesn’t drink coffee and that his favourite drink is pineapple juice - and that speaks volumes to me because like it means you still love him so much. Also the hazelnut croissant, is the same as the one’s you first gave Chris when you invited him to your Café, so naturally him seeing them while he’s trying to get you back to him is hurtful.

Part 7 - Sweet

Sweet because there is a lot of sugar involved in this: cake, pocky. And also cause Chris says “Hmmmm… sweet” after tasting mf cake directly from your mouth.

Nothing much in this one apparently.

Part 8 - You Helping, or What?

That is the question I was asking the entire time I wrote this thing. Chris is not helping. Chris is being a pain in the ass.

Hm. Void of other references. Welp.

Part 9 - First for Everything

Guys there’s nothing here for me to mention other than, I wonder why I called it ‘First for Everything’?

Part 10 - Please Stay.

Title has since been explained.

“You want me to get on my knee and propose right here right now? Cause I will,” he grins, “I gladly will, but… I’d rather I get the chance to do it properly.”

From Part 11 - Soonie, Doongie and Dori: “Look I know- I know I’m not on one knee like I said I would be- I was meant to propose properly like an hour ago during our date- but I- I lost the ring, I can’t for the life of me find it, and I’m so- I’m so sorry- but I mean- I just want so badly to be your husband- and even though there’s no ring-”

I just love how his initial plan completely backfired on him. Anyways.

“Shut up and fuck me, woman.” “Say please?” “Wow. You did not just-” “Say please.”

“Are you really going to-” “Say. Please.” “I’m a bad influence.” “And I’m waiting.”

From Part 11 - Soonie, Doongie and Dori “Will you marry me?” “Wait- wait no this is insane, this is not-” “Will… you… marry… meeeeeeeeee?” “I’m so stupid.” “And I’m waiting.”

Hehehehehe just you being a cheeky shit. It’s important because the first time you say “And I’m waiting” is just after he’s recently admitted to wanting to genuinely marry you. The second time, is when he, well you have finally proposed.

Part 11 - Soonie, Doongie and Dori

I’ve already explained the significance of this title.

“I love you, you’re adorable. You’re so- you did this all yourself?” You ask, breathing heavily into his shirt. “Mhm…” he mumbles, kissing the top of your head affectionately, and then one more time for good measure. “Only for you…”

This is here because I would like to point out that this is the first time he’s genuinely said “Only for you…” without any cheek. Usually it’s “Only for you~” with that ~~~~ you know like ugh, but this time his tone is different.

“I’ll look after Minho’s cats, and I’ll look after you too, just like you look after everyone else.” Finally, you look up at him, and immediately you know he hasn’t heard a word. “You’re not listening are you?” You chuckle, smiling at his dazed expression.

“You’re not listening are you?” Chris pauses, smiling softly and brushing your hair out of your face. You blink and turn away slightly, trying to wake yourself up. “Yeah sorry- I am so sorry- you’re just- hoo you’re hot in a suit I swear to god.”

Like- c’monnnnn, surely this was spotted by someone.

Part 12 - You Stayed.

All the parallels for this one are basically connected to Part 1 - Just Stay. lmao

Part 13 - To Live the Life of Bang Chan

Obviously because this is what Daniela titled the book. I don’t believe there will be much to explain in this fic, since the entire fic is kind of an explanation itself.

I would however like to say that Dani here, feels so familiar to you because not only is she you from an alternate universe, she’s also picked up on the habits of her Chan. The grin, the expressions - which is why it’s very surreal when you meet her.

I know that my message will never reach the Bang Chan I wish I could say this to; he is out of my reach. I will say it here, nevertheless and hope your Chris understands my intention.

My only wish to you, is that one day, you learn to love yourself. Whether this is through a significant other. Whether it’s through Stray Kids. Maybe your own kids. However you do it, I hope you learn to love yourself, because the weight of the world is heavy Chan, and you of all people deserve to love yourself, the way others love you.

Stray kids everywhere all around the world, you make Stray Kids Stay

I included my own persona into this series because this is quite literally the message I wish I could say to Bang Chan. He is the happiness for many, just as he is for me. He’s my role model, not in that he’s an idol, but also because we share the same personality as ENFJ-Ts. Through loving him, I learn to love myself, because I can see snippets of myself when I watch him.

I have this motto that I associate with him - “if only I can live to be half the person you are, then maybe one day I will be satisfied”. I’m trying to be more like him, use him as an example to live with a heart of kindness. I don’t want to be be him, or impersonate him dear lord not that far, just as a person to look up to.

For the last two fics, Part 14 - Merry Chris-mas (Felix Never Bad) and Part 15 - I Already Have Seven… there isn’t much to say except focus on their titles.

Chris-mas because haha you’re funny. Felix Never Bad because he’s the only one without a gf at the time and like yk. Also, in Part 7 - Sweet, there's this which makes it super ironic:

The Kids’ don’t pay him much attention, especially not since Felix and Hyunjin are arguing with each other, “I’ll be first.” “Hyunjin mate, I have more followers than you.” “That’d make it harder for you to find a genuine person though.”

“I Already Have Seven…” is naturally a reference to that one moment on Insta Live where Chris did a 2023 prediction I think and it said he’d have a kid.

And in that fic. He ends up with 3 kids.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺

Thank you to those who supported the writing of this fic. I appreciate all who left notes, commented, reblogged and responded in kind to my dms of gratitude.

You’re all amazing, and I hope the time you spent reading this series was worthwhile.

I would especially like to thank those who participated in reading marathons of the series, and those who eagerly kept up to date with all my uploads. It absolutely blew my mind to see notifications from you guys, and my grin would always be the widest at the sight of your interactions.

At some point, I continued to write these uploads so I wouldn’t disappoint you guys, especially.

There’s still the last few bonus uploads to go though! One of them I will upload tomorrow… and the other two are on my broken laptop which I still do not have back - but I’ll upload them as soon as I can. - Kaisowoo

Bonus #2 -> Sugar or Spice

#bang chan x reader #stray kids #bang chan #christopher chan bang #skz #bang chan fanfic #bang chan fluff #bang chan fic #stray kids fanfic #stray kids fic

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whenfatecollides · 2 years

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honestly I was so emotionally drained a few months back that I didn’t even bother but at this point and seeing how dc are being promoted this cb I genuinely have to wonder what the fuck dcc think they’re accomplishing with all this?

- they literally threw away all the work our fandom had getting them their first win by not having a proper CELEBRATION with KOREAN FANS for it, how fucking hard was it to have a fanmeeting??????? if not an actual concert in KOREA (and I’ll repeat the FANS got them their first win, dcc did nothing for it, no ads, no nothing)

- magazine deals, mc deals, etc, all the stuff you see other groups get when they finally get their first wins, where is all that for dc? it’s not, because they just had to go to european festivals and a usa tour right after their first win (sure it’s great that intl fans got to see them but that’s not the point) how hard would it have been to promote dc a bit better in korea after this?????

- and speaking of the usa tour, there were sooooooooo many complaints about the venues, that they didn’t have enough capacity in comparison to the demand and there were so many people who didn’t have a chance to see them because of this? again for the stuff that matters dcc keep acting like dc is still a rookie group with no fans

- now we get to october, comeback announced, and they’re still releasing maison content from months ago while vision teasers are dropping, content that should have been released like a week after the event because literally what is the point of watching any of that so much later when you can’t even remember things anymore (you and I era I miss you so much)

- they gave the fandom not even 2 weeks to pre-order the album and immediately announced an eu tour 2 days after pre-orders opened, with no stops in south europe because suddenly europe is just 5 countries, giving european fans 2 days to decide before pre-sale started and a month to organise everything (when usa fans had a lot more time to save money and organise everything)

- dropping merch (I still can’t believe they’re selling a JACKET FOR OVER 100 DOLLARS LMFAO), albums, online concert and eu tour all in the span of 3 weeks because suddenly they’re seeing us as cash cows and for that dc are a big group

- this cb promotion has been just... straight up questionable? again no ads, still relying on fans to put up ads for them, still not doing shit about dc’s digitals when every other company in the industry does it for their groups, mcountdown was just sad to watch, no interview, no intro, no special set for the comeback stage??? we’ve always had a set since fly high era, frankly it was just depressing to watch

- 1st gen insomnias got nearly nothing of benefits in these last 3 years like it’s honestly laughable

- fans have been BEGGING dcc since 2018 to reprint older albums and they still don’t give a shit about it (and no, the albums being from a different distributor from their current one is not an excuse)

- this whole shit show with the halloween concert. splitting the girls’ solo stages between the two days, forcing korean fans to buy both dates if they want to see them BUT ALSO not giving intl fans a chance to see them since they’re only streaming the 2nd day? where is the logic in this? (also 25$ for a ticket of an online concert that won’t even have all the special stages is insane if you ask me)

and I could go on and into more detail but is it even worth it? the disorganization is so palpable that it just genuinely pisses me off. they keep acting like they’re a 2 year old company who doesn’t know what they’re doing and has genuine reason for mistake, but the reality is that at this point they’re an over 10 year old company. there is no excuse for what they’re doing anymore, and personally I’m at my limit as someone who has been supporting dc, doing content, and helping with projects for the past 5 years. for a company that is so dependent on their main group’s fandom they sure act like they could have achieved this all by themselves

#nothing against dc I love the girls to death but I am genuinely so tired #being their fan is supposed to be something that is fun! it's a hobby! but this year has jsut been stressful as fuck #genuinely what is the point?#what am I doing all of this for if they just throw all of our work away anyway?#like trust me my life does not revolve around dc and I will simply not put time and effort into the fandom anymore if things keep going like #this like I'm genuinely not having a good time lmao #jt

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wegonbealright-09 · 9 months

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i saw a clip of th and yg’s interview where they talked about “all of them” getting together after 7’s #1 and “shedding tears” or smth like that and it kind of has me spiraling

did nothing like this ever happen for LCs #1? are they not bringing it up for some reason? why mention jk’s celebrations but not jm’s?

the idea that for some reason jm’s #1 was somehow not perceived as significant by them or even jm himself is messing with my head. when jm got his #1 he was sick that day so obv he did not have much time for celebration then but after that it was never spoken about again. i know jm is not the type of person to make things a big deal for himself but the fact that despite being sick and being home he still posted multiple times and went live shows how happy, proud, and grateful he was that day.

that leaves me worrying that he might’ve felt the second week drop reflected badly on him instead of just being a result of b🖕🏽b sneakily changing their rules.

or even worse, that th and yg are being fed a script that intentionally excludes jm to fluff up jks image. that would go against everything i expect from them and would honestly break my heart as silly as it may sound.

i would like to think that given all of the nice things they’ve said about him in the past (e.g. like calling him sweet or an angel) that the members are actually proud of jimin and his achievements and not jealous or resentful. no one can deny that so far he’s had the most success with the least amount of industry gimmicks (which should be every artist and label’s dream but i digress).

idk if im overthinking it or what but all of their dynamics seem so off and unpredictable lately it gives me this feeling like i don’t know them at all anymore which is sad considering how much they’ve done for me as a group in the past.

*sighs* i just hope whatever jimin is doing he knows that there are so so many people who are supporting him and are proud of him for all that he’s achieved.

Oh anon this is exactly how I feel. You literally put my thoughts into words.

That last part anon omg. I hope you're doing okay. Don't think too much about it. I know that BTS said to trust them but I'm finding that very hard to do lately. And everytime I start to doubt their bond I remember the golden days. Because the current BTS makes it even hard for me to believe they'll ever come back as a band.

I don't know what's up with Tae lately he's just all over licking JK's ass. I don't even believe that they got together and celebrated that number one what is there to cry for. They one he'll get that number1 even jk himself was not surprised. So I don't believe they got together and celebrated. Some members cried but it was not tears of joy.

#BTS #park jimin #yoongi #taehyung #jk #controversial #lmao #jimin

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bklynmusicnerd · 4 months

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My fear is based off the fact that Trina and Spencer literally almost died once before in Greenland by Victor and the show had them come back and go about their daily lives like all that shit didn’t just happen to them. No traumatic PTSD, no therapy, no nothing. So I’m preparing them to act the same way in regards to Trina’s grief. They probably will give her a few days-2/3 weeks max of grieving episodes and be like okay that’s enough.

Interesting, I'm actually a little concerned in the opposite direction, that Trina's ooc behavior in regards to her depression will take away some of the stuff we love most about her.

Again, it's so hard to get into the post-Greenland stuff because that is the stockpile of shit that blew everything up because they were so focused on trying to sell us on Amnesia Esme, that it overrode everything. The weirdest case of creative tunnel vision I've seen in a minute, especially heading into a strike.

I mean, Spencer never really got legit pov on being forced to "kill" his Uncle Victor, who he loved and trusted. I will say, I don't think that's going to be the case this time for Trina. She's dropping the semester (aka making major life decisions) in immediate reaction to Spencer's "death".

It sounds like they're setting up a survivor's guilt arc for Trina which means we're going to see her feel like she doesn't deserve to live or "move on". It's very much sounding like a culmination of the worst parts of her savior complex. Everything that I've read from TA's interviews suggests that this won't be a phase that Trina just gets over but something that "alters" her.

But in regards to your concerns, I don't want a whitewashing of her grief but I would like her grief to be fluid if that makes sense? I don't want an entire month of Trina just bursting into tears over the mere mention of Spencer. I don't think that's really true to her in the long run, and I think it would get stale quickly.

There are a lot of different ways to write grief and depression (Spencer was a depression coded character from the moment he showed up in his ninja costume) and hopefully whatever way they write Trina's dark era is still grounded in who she is and not just a generic template for a grieving soap heroine.

Let her have moments where she lashes out, let her have moments where she's completely impolite, let her have moments where she loses control. It'd be frustrating (and tbh very telling) if the only atypical to her character writing we see for Trina during her depression this month is just her giving up her ambition.

#general hospital #trina robinson #trina having a depression era is interesting to me #im coming around to it #trina going through a type of spiritual death in accordance with spencer's fake death is interesting #especially because that would absolutely factor into their reunion #but it all depends on how it's written #as we know lol

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sadaveniren · 2 years

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Hey can I get your opinion on bg? I like that you're an old-timer (fandom wise lol) and your views are interesting to read. Anyway Louis has made it clear time and time again that he is very aware of what goes on in fandom and what people's thoughts are. He must know that a majority of his fanbase is put off by all the freddie talk. Add to that the fact that it's really not doing anything for him promo wise. So even if he can't end it yet for whatever reason, why do you think there's been this big ramp up and an insistence of talking about him in interviews? When he could have just kept quiet like he did for years?

Lol what I would give to fucking know the answers to these questions.

So as an old timer (like… I was literally online when the OG BG article dropped. I saw that “9 weeks along” written out in the article with my own eyes before they changed it within the first 30 or so minutes of BG) I want to emphasize that nothing else matters because Briana was never pregnant. Everything since the very first pic of them together (“this is for the Sun”) has been fake. Nothing else matters whenever you go back and hit that inevitable point of “Briana was never pregnant”.

But back to your question. Why? Hilariously it almost feels like Louis sorta gave an answer to this today when he talked about the radio stations he goes to that don’t play his music. Sometimes he does shit he doesn’t benefit from, and maybe doesn’t like, to get to do what he wants. I can’t even begin to imagine how complicated Louis’ life is and everything he has to balance. Maybe mentioning the kid was a trade off for being “single” and losing having to talk about Eleanor or get a new public girlfriend. Maybe if he’s seen with the kid he gets to talk about OTB being an LGBT anthem. Maybe he gets to pursue an edgier sound, or add something to the album, or a dozen other little things he might want in exchange for something that at the end of the day he doesn’t think is that big of a deal.

I’ll be completely honest, up until today’s interview the mentions of Freddie hadn’t even registered to me. Louis’ promo was going so swell. As someone who was here for 2016 and 5:20pm Tuesday pap walk pics and 2017 with the whole “his girlfriend, his son” non-stop, I can tell you. This is so different. It’s nothing. What happened today was definitely a change from how it had been going but tbh I think Louis wanted to give as open and honest an interview as possible so I think he might have just been like “don’t ask me about Harry Styles and everything else is fair game” not knowing what Zach was going to run with 🤷🏼‍♀️

I have no clue if this is going to end up going anywhere. It would be excellent if BG could just fucking end already. But if this is the new status quo, as long as Louis looks happy and he’s enjoying his music, I’m gonna trust that he knows what he’s doing with his life.

#answered

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ingek73 · 2 years

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Meghan of Montecito She’s left the Firm behind. Harry’s found a polo team in Santa Barbara. The kids are doing great. Now she’s ready for her next act.

By Allison P. Davis@allisonpdavis Photographs by Campbell Addy

Photo: Campbell Addy

The conditions are right for confession. It is a beautiful August day in Montecito, in a beautiful sitting room, in a beautiful home. Archie Harrison Mountbatten-Windsor, a lively 3-year-old with a shock of ginger curls identical to his father’s, toddles into the room demanding “Momma” listen to his heartbeat with a wooden toy stethoscope. He stands, tummy protruding, while his mother, Meghan, convincingly performs her glee at hearing the thump-thump, thump-thump in his chest. Archie giggles and, satisfied, toddles right back out again.

Meghan, relaxing in a cozy chair, gazes over all that is climate-controlled and high-ceilinged and sun-dappled and perfectly marshmallowy, and hers. An invisible hand has lit a Soho House–branded rose-water candle (the founder, Nick Jones, is a friend from “long before I met Harry,” she says), and that scent fills the air, mingling with the gentle tones of a flamenco-inflected guitar floating from a speaker. Then, in the lull in conversation, Meghan turns to me and leans forward to ask in a conspiratorial hush, “Do you want to know a secret?”

Meghan, silenced no more, looks around, making sure nobody (who would be?) is listening in. Then the top-secret drop: “I’m getting back … on Instagram,” she says, her eyes alight and devilish.

This could have been a troll: Delivering a nothing with such gravitas feels as if Meghan, who has been so trolled by the media, is serving it back, just a little. But, as I quickly realize, it is actually news. Before this chapter in her life, before everything difficult that spun off from marrying the Duke of Sussex and, along with him, the British monarchy, she was just Meghan Markle, a woman with a plum role on a USA procedural and a moderately popular lifestyle blog, The Tig. As herself, she’d amassed 3 million Instagram followers by sharing snippets of a basic life: yoga, food she liked, hikes with friends, her beagle, Guy. Fans watched as she attended events with her Suits castmates and charity galas, nights out at Soho House in London and Toronto. She ran that account for years before she met Harry, but on the heels of their engagement, control over her Instagram was just one of the things (along with The Tig, her passport, and the freedom to open her own mail) she gave up. She’d loved sharing her life with people, she says, but she loved Harry more. “It was a big adjustment — a huge adjustment to go from that kind of autonomy to a different life,” says Meghan.

Meghan was permitted to join Harry, Kate, and Will on a preexisting account, @KensingtonRoyal, that she had no control over. “There’s literally a structure by which if you want to release photos of your child, as a member of the family, you first have to give them to the Royal Rota,” the U.K. media pool, she explains. Usually, the photos would be on media outlets before she could post them herself. That didn’t sit right with Meghan, given her strained relationship with the British tabloids (“Harry’s girl is [almost] straight outta Compton” is how the Daily Mail introduced her to the British public), and especially since she would soon have a child of her own to protect. “Why would I give the very people that are calling my children the N-word a photo of my child before I can share it with the people that love my child?” she asks, still ruffled. “You tell me how that makes sense and then I’ll play that game.”

In April 2019, one month before Archie was born, Meghan and Harry launched their own Instagram handle, @sussexroyal, which reached 1 million followers within six hours. On their own account, they refused to play the “exchange game”: They broke their own news, posting photos that sometimes never even made it to the Royal Rota. Shortly after they officially stepped back from their royal duties, they shut down @sussexroyal. (They could no longer use royal in their branding.) Later, in an interview with Fortune, Meghan declared that she wasn’t planning on getting back on social media — the constant bullying had been too much. So this divulgence, in addition to being newsworthy, is a symbol of progress: proof that she and Harry have made it to the other side of all the drama that defined their past three years.

“Especially now, with Archetypes coming out,” she says, steering the conversation toward the reason she agreed to sit for an interview in the first place. Archetypes, the podcast Meghan hosts, is the first, much-anticipated offering to come from the pair of high-profile deals the couple signed in 2020 with Netflix and Spotify. Each episode features her, in conversation with her famous friends, discussing the ways women are unfairly labeled — an experience, Meghan notes, she has been through herself and is finally ready to talk about. Progress, however, is a series of steps forward and leaps backward. Later, Meghan would relay she was no longer sure she would actually return to Instagram.

Though she has been media trained and then royal-media trained and sometimes converses like she has a tiny Bachelor producer in her brain directing what she says (at one point in our conversation, instead of answering a question, she will suggest how I might transcribe the noises she’s making: “She’s making these guttural sounds, and I can’t quite articulate what it is she’s feeling in that moment because she has no word for it; she’s just moaning”), at this stage, post-royal, there’s no need for her to hold back. She’s flinging open the proverbial doors to her life; as any millennial woman whose feminism was forged in the girlboss era would understand, she has taken a hardship and turned it into content.

Meghan’s journey from Deal or No Deal suitcase girl to princess had the makings of a fairy tale or, at the very least, a stellar romantic comedy, but it took almost no time to turn into an extraction plot from a mid-’90s political thriller. The seemingly storybook wedding in 2018 was followed by a year of clandestine conversations with the 1,200-year-old institution dubbed the Firm, during which the couple asked for help in relieving Meghan’s declining mental health. When those talks went nowhere, there were even more clandestine conversations with a network of rich and powerful friends that led to an escape to Vancouver Island for a six-week holiday that turned into something far more permanent. It was from there the Duke and Duchess of Sussex, Harry and Meghan, made a surprise announcement that they would be stepping back from their roles as senior members of the royal family in an Instagram post so full of hidden context and meaning that MI6 could use it for message-decoding training.

Their accepted exit terms (or “Megxit,” to use the term the papers favored, even though Harry declared it misogynistic) stipulated that the couple would no longer make appearances on behalf of the queen, would no longer be permitted to use the HRH designation, and would make their own money (though Prince Charles provided some financial assistance for the first year). They were left sans public funding to bankroll both their lives and the security that protected those lives, and the press had just leaked the location of the coastal home they were staying in. By March 2020, the pandemic was under way, and there was talk of the Canadian-U.S. border closing. They could see men on boats watching them from the water.

Though Meghan had never met Tyler Perry in person, he had reached out when she and Harry got married to tell her that he was praying for her “and that he understood what this meant,” Meghan recalls, referring to the symbolic weight of their wedding, “and that he could only imagine what it was like.” He also told Meghan to call if she ever needed support or advice. It took her a long time to do so, she admits. But once she did, she found herself telling him every detail of their situation in Canada. “Sometimes, you can tell your life story to a stranger on a plane as opposed to some of the people that are closest to you,” she says.

And in a plot twist I may never get over, Perry offered her one of his homes — a literal safe house in Beverly Hills, complete with security detail — and became, in many ways, the reason that Meghan and Harry started their new life in Southern California.

But she already covered all of this in the interview for Oprah, she reminds me with a firm smile and a wave of her hand that signals it is time to move on. In March 2021, a year after they’d fled to America, Meghan and Harry put rumors about Megxit to rest. They took part in an interview special with their neighbor and collaborator Oprah Winfrey that attracted 17 million viewers. Over the course of the 85-minute special, she dropped bombshells, baby: about Charles not taking Harry’s phone calls, about palace conversations where a (still unnamed) someone kvetched over how dark Archie’s skin would be. She clarified that it was Kate Middleton who made her cry over flower-girl dresses, not vice versa, as the tabloids had previously reported. Bombshells and the Firm, leaks and relocations, racism against babies. This was definitely not a fairy tale, but revealing all of it was their way of setting fire to a narrative they didn’t control and letting a new one emerge.

My first glimpse of Meghan in this new chapter is her crouched in the entryway, arms wrapped around her black Lab, Pula (Setswana for rain and good fortune and a tribute to an early date during the couple’s whirlwind romance in 2016). The front doors are thrown wide open, as are the doors leading out to the backyard. She stands and smiles with the perfect level of warmth, the gleam of her teeth rivaled only by the shininess of her blowout. Backlit by the late-morning light in a scene that looks like a Nancy Meyers cinematic interior, Town & Country, Goop, and Architectural Digest had an orgy and created the perfect moment in California living, she throws her arms wide open, too, and gives me a hug. “Come on through,” she says, beckoning me to join her on one of many terraces.

WHEN THE MEDIA HAS SHAPED THE STORY AROUND YOU, IT’S REALLY NICE TO BE ABLE TO TELL YOUR OWN STORY.

The Montecito house is the kind of big that startles you into remembering that unimaginable wealth is actually someone’s daily reality. It evokes a classic Tuscan villa, a Napa vineyard, and a manicured Beverly Hills country club decorated with careful, considered coastal tones for a casual air — the home equivalent of billionaires dressing down in denim.

Finding a house to start their new life wasn’t easy, Meghan tells me. “We were looking in this area” — she’s referring to Montecito, the tony beachside hamlet north of Los Angeles — “and this house kept popping up online in searches.” At first, they’d resisted going to visit. “We didn’t have jobs, so we just were not going to come and see this house. It wasn’t possible. It’s like when I was younger and you’re window shopping — it’s like, I don’t want to go and look at all the things that I can’t afford. That doesn’t feel good.” How utterly humbled we all are when confronted with a depressingly aspirational Zillow hunt.

They did eventually tour it and fell almost immediately in love. (And since they have income now, in the form of a reported $25 million Spotify deal and a reported $100 million Netflix deal, it’s within their means.) Meghan stops to point out two massive Dr. Seussian palm trees, dead center on a lawn so verdant it’s better not to consider the water bill.

“One of the first things my husband saw when we walked around the house was those two palm trees,” she coos. “See how they’re connected at the bottom? He goes, ‘My love, it’s us.’ And now every day when Archie goes by us, he says, ‘Hi, Momma. Hi, Papa.’ ” They had toured only the grounds when they told the real-estate agent, “We have to get this house,” Meghan says. It didn’t matter that they hadn’t seen the inside. Meghan gestures to the sweep of the property, from chicken coop to pool house to main house. Eventually, they purchased it for $14.65 million. “We did everything we could to get this house.” She leans her head back and lets the sun beam down into her pores. “Because you walk in and go …” She takes a deep inhale through her nose and breathes out her mouth. “Joy. And exhale. And calm. It’s healing. You feel free.”

Even if she and Harry have stepped back from their royal duties, Meghan is still very aware that people see her as a princess. “It’s important to be thoughtful about it because — even with the Oprah interview, I was conscious of the fact that there are little girls that I meet and they’re just like, ‘Oh my God, it’s a real-life princess.’ ” But her ambitions for herself (and the little girls who look up to her) are more than to marry into a position. “I just look at all of them and think, You have the power within you to create a life greater than any fairy tale you’ve ever read. I don’t mean that in terms of ‘You could marry a prince one day.’ I mean you can find love. You can find happiness. You can be up against what could feel like the greatest obstacle and then you can find happiness again.”

Meghan’s Harry, or “H,” as she calls him in anecdotes, or “my love,” as she refers to him when he’s standing in front of her, as he is now in navy-blue athletic shorts, a T-shirt, and no shoes, has appeared from somewhere in the house to say hello. I stand up, instantly understanding the confusion Meghan must have felt when she first met the royal family. Am I supposed to shake his hand, or bow, or curtsy, or salute? Do I call him Prince Harry, the Royal Formerly Known As Prince, Ex-Prince Harry, the Duke, Sir, Mr. — wait, does he have a last name? As if to preempt any attempts I might make at curtsying, Harry extends his hand to shake mine and welcomes me to their home.

It’s very beautiful, I assure him, not calling him anything at all.

“We’re fixing all these things, the pipes, but that’s a whole story in itself,” Harry explains, exasperated.

The day before, while Meghan was on the photo shoot for this issue, Harry had been left to his own devices, he tells me. “You were gone for, like, ten hours yesterday,” he marvels to his wife. “Tell her the first thing you said when you got back last night,” he says, turning to me. “She said, ‘I’m not a model.’ “I was like, ‘No, you are, of course you can be a model.’ And she’s like, ‘I’m a mom!’ And it’s like, ‘You can be both,’ ” Harry says, earning himself so many points.

In October 2020, the couple launched Archewell, a catchall company for their post-royal pursuits. Thus far, it has three divisions: the nonprofit (“that puts compassion into action,” according to the website); Archewell Productions, which oversees the Netflix deal; and Archewell Audio, which oversees the Spotify deal.

The two run Archewell from their shared home office, specifically from two plush club chairs placed side by side behind a single desk, facing into the room like thrones. “Most people that I know and many of my family, they aren’t able to work and live together,” Harry says in passing as I take a peek at their command center. He enunciates family with a vocal eye roll. “It’s actually really weird because it’d seem like a lot of pressure. But it just feels natural and normal.”

The week I visit, things at Archewell are particularly busy. In addition to a trip to Africa for Harry, on behalf of the charity African Parks, Meghan is launching Archetypes, which aired its first episode on Spotify on August 23. There’s another trip in the works, on which they’ll both speak at a handful of charity events in the U.K. and Germany, including one for the lead-up to the Invictus Games, an athletic tournament for wounded veterans Harry founded in 2014. After all the drama, it looks like they’ve designed the exact job they wanted to have as royals but were denied.

“I think we always knew the first few years of creating this new life from scratch were going to be the busiest — ” says Harry.

“Well, it’s a start-up,” Meghan interjects. “We were building a business. During lockdown — ”

And then Harry interjects, “With everyone weighing in. If you do something, they criticize you. If you don’t do anything, they criticize you anyway. It’s a lot, but …”

“Oh, and then having a baby in the middle of it all, casually,” Meghan jokes. (Their daughter, Lilibet, was born in June 2021.)

So far, there’s been little consumable content out of Archewell. The first announced project was a behind-the-scenes docuseries about the Invictus Games, which has yet to see daylight. Meghan had been working on Pearl, an animated series about a 12-year-old girl who “steps into her own power” by traveling through time to meet important women across history, when Netflix axed it. “There’s not much you can do when a company and a division changes their slate,” she says. “And there’s also not much you can do when, even if they think the project is great, the media will report it as though it was only my project.” Meanwhile, Archewell has had a leadership change as the company moves forward.

According to reports in the Los Angeles Times, there’s an air of impatience around that Netflix documentary, specifically, and around what the couple is going to produce in general. Attempts to learn what those other projects might be, or what their plans are, are met with an institutional paranoia by a team that responds to press inquiries as if it’s protecting nuclear codes. Contact with nonapproved employees invites fear and suspicion, confrontation. Questions about rumored projects — for example, an At Home With Meghan and Harry–type docuseries that reportedly has an attached director, Liz Garbus, and footage shot by teams of cameramen, who have been spotted following the couple around — are met with half-answers shrouded in winks, codes, and redirection. Meghan herself gives off an effortless, arms-wide-open, relatable affectation; she dangles the glimpse behind the curtain while the machine in place around her slams the door.

The couple has directly smashed rumors of a reality show, both in statements made to publications and in conversation with me. But, Meghan explains, there’s a difference between a historical documentary and a reality docuseries. “The piece of my life I haven’t been able to share, that people haven’t been able to see, is our love story,” she says, then quotes what she says was the end of a speech she gave at her wedding, in which she took comfort in the “resounding knowing that, above all, love wins.” She adds, “I hope that is the sentiment that people feel when they see any of the content or the projects that we are working on.”

I ask again if what they are currently filming is a documentary about their love story. “What’s so funny is I’m not trying to be cagey,” she says. “I don’t read any press. So I don’t know what’s confirmed. I will tell you Liz Garbus is incredible. Liz Garbus also worked on Pearl.” Meghan says she’s going to leave it to her publicist and Netflix to decide what can be shared. (Not much.) As for the rest of her projects, she explains, “When the media has shaped the story around you, it’s really nice to be able to tell your own story.”

Your eye contact is good,” she says suddenly. “You’re, like, looking into my soul.”

I stammer out an apology.

“I feel it. It’s good. I’m, like, so excited to talk.”

Meghan was born and bred in L.A., and her mother, social worker Doria Ragland, lives close enough that she can visit regularly for active, involved grandma duty. I ask if Harry feels isolated without any family nearby. “Well, look, we’re both building community,” she responds. “I didn’t have friends up here.” In addition to being new people in a new place, they moved in during COVID, when everyone was isolated. They are creating a new thing together.

Meghan launches into a little story. Right now, they are trying to teach Archie his manners. (“We always tell him: ‘Manners make the man. Manners, manners, manners, manners, manners.’ ”) In one of those lessons, Meghan remembered something she’d learned at a young age from a friend’s mom: Salt and pepper are always passed together. “She said, ‘You never move one without the other.’ That’s me and Harry. We’re like salt and pepper. We always move together.”

These days, they are getting back out there together. Recently, Meghan says, they took Archie to a birthday party for a classmate; everyone was surprised they showed up. “I was in a bouncy castle, and I saw this 1-year-old inside. I was like, ‘Where’s your mom?’ And this mom on the outside goes, ‘Oh, hi! I’m here. I wasn’t sure if I should come in.’ ” She laughs. “I was like, ‘Do you need your child? Of course you can come in.’ ”

Harry plays polo with the Los Padres in Santa Barbara. They spend time with a close-knit group of friends who have lunch and dinner at one another’s homes, including former makeup artist and entrepreneur Victoria Jackson, who has become a close friend and “safe harbor.” They met through another close friend, Gloria Steinem. Jackson invented “no-makeup makeup,” made a fortune selling her products on QVC in the ’80s, and has a sprawling ranch near Santa Barbara that she lent to Meghan for the photo shoot. Meghan had celebrated her 41st birthday there in August. The kids have been over to pet Jackson’s mini-pigs, Harry once fixed one of her sprinklers, and, of course, Jackson is telling her story on an upcoming episode of Archetypes. “I just want to genuinely show up for them,” Jackson says of why she opened her home to Meghan so freely. “To be able to get them out of their house because it’s complicated for them to go anywhere. You know what I mean? I want Harry to be able to come up here for their birthday or share a time and people to know that I’m not telling anyone when they’re here. So I want to keep it that way. So don’t give out my address.” She laughs and then sighs. “I hope that people take their foot off the gas a little bit on all the negative spin because they’re really good people.”

There’s nothing that affirms a “right place” contentedness more than a trip back to the place you felt you had to leave. In June, the couple attended some of the events for the Queen’s Platinum Jubilee in London. It was their first time appearing at a public event alongside the rest of the royal family since they’d left. While there, Meghan had quietly seen to more personal matters, slipping back into their former residence, Frogmore Cottage, to pack up their belongings.

IT WAS BITTERSWEET, YOU KNOW? KNOWING NONE OF IT HAD TO BE THIS WAY.

The cottage is still theirs and has remained mostly untouched since they left. “You go back and you open drawers and you’re like, Oh my gosh. This is what I was writing in my journal there? And here’s all my socks from this time?” The blue-and-white linen pants she’s wearing today were something from the cottage, actually: “They’re like $30 pants from Boden, and I brought them back.” It was “surreal” to walk right back into the life she’d been building in that cottage. There were all the things she’d had shipped from her old apartment in Toronto and barely gotten to unpack: her sofa, posters of art she’d collected traveling with her girlfriends and thrown into “good old Ikea frames,” a past message from a single self she hadn’t fully wanted to leave behind.

The home renovations had been a sore point both for the couple and for the British tabloids. They had been criticized for using an exorbitant amount of taxpayer funds, £2.4 million ($3.2 million), for the upgrades on a home they’d been given. (Public funding of the royal family is a conflict as old as the Queen Mary bandeau tiara Meghan wore on her wedding day.) Headline after headline suggested that the renovations were more extravagant than they actually were. There was never, for instance, a yoga studio with a floating floor, never a gold bathtub or a copper bathtub; there wasn’t a special wing for her mother. (They’ve since repaid the renovation costs.)

“It was bittersweet, you know? Knowing none of it had to be this way,” Meghan says.

How did it get so hard? She had tried to play royal. “I was an actress,” she says. “My entire job was ‘Tell me where to stand. Tell me what to say. Tell me how to say it. Tell me what to wear, and I’ll do it.’ And I’ll show up early, and I’ll probably bake something for the crew.” Every movie about an American woman who ends up becoming a princess has a pivotal scene in which she thinks she’s doing the job correctly, just by being herself, but then some older royal gives her a speech about duty and decorum. I cite, specifically, The Prince & Me. She hasn’t seen it. “Yeah. That would’ve been really helpful. That would’ve been a very key tutorial to have had in advance of all this,” she says, not quite sarcastically, but the delivery is a sentence with a steel rod in it. By her own analysis, her problems stemmed from her being an American, not necessarily a Black American, she explains. Her desire to ask lots of questions and to never be involved with something she couldn’t totally have her hands on seemed to violate an unspoken social norm.

The reporting of their renovations was just part of the abusive press coverage — the sorts of headlines and “allegedly” true news items that led to the decline in her mental health. The couple figured if the tabloids felt free to attack them “under the guise of public interest” because their lives were taxpayer funded, then they should just remove taxpayer funding from the equation, she explains. They suggested to the Firm that they be allowed to work, still on behalf of the monarchy, and make their own money. “Then maybe all the noise would stop,” Meghan says of their reasoning.

They also thought it best to leave the U.K. (and the U.K. press) to do it. They were willing to go to basically any commonwealth, Canada, New Zealand, South Africa, anywhere. “Anything to just … because just by existing, we were upsetting the dynamic of the hierarchy. So we go, ‘Okay, fine, let’s get out of here. Happy to,’ ” she says, putting her hands up in mock defeat. Meghan asserts that what they were asking for wasn’t “reinventing the wheel” and lists a handful of princes and princesses and dukes who have the very arrangement they wanted. “That, for whatever reason, is not something that we were allowed to do, even though several other members of the family do that exact thing.”

Why do you think that is? I ask.

“Why do you think that is?” she says right back with a side-eye that suggests I should understand without having to be told.

All right, Meghan, I’ll bite. It could be that the very reasons she was considered a breath of fresh air at first and then a supernova (biracial, divorcée, self-made millionaire, clotheshorse) only highlighted the ways in which the monarchy was becoming irrelevant to a younger generation — and worse, the ways that it was deeply flawed (and racist). To that, it could be just because she’s Black. Or perhaps it’s owed to the fact that Meghan, who jokes that “even my blood type is A-positive,” wouldn’t relinquish control over her own image and that image had the potential to be too big of a brand. Maybe, as Harry battled on her behalf with the tabloids one stern statement after another, it was all becoming too eerily reminiscent of Princess Diana. Or maybe it’s because by the time she met and married Harry, she was already a fully formed American woman: self-made, self-refined. She had desires and goals and a fan base. And while she was a fine actress, the job she is best at is envisioning a life for herself and getting it. That specific type of very American ambition just isn’t really compatible with being a princess. Though it is compatible with her current life, which seems to be the best of all worlds: a palace in a better climate, still culturally considered royalty while having freedom from the royal family, a level of celebrity that exceeds what she could have gotten through Suits or the Tig, a neighbor with mini-pigs.

Well, I can’t put words in your mouth, I say instead.

And then a pause as she looks down and inspects her hands; The Bachelor producer in her head deliberates how much should be said. “I don’t know,” she says, casting a knowing gaze out into the middle distance

hoto: Campbell Addy

Though it wasn’t the planned first project, Meghan is happy for the podcast to be her reintroduction. “It’s so real,” she says. “I feel different. I feel clearer. It’s like I’m finding — not finding my voice. I’ve had my voice for a long time, but being able to use it.”

At its heart, Archetypes (slogan: “Don’t believe the type”) is Meghan’s way of grappling with questions that have plagued her, personally: why certain women get saddled with labels, why they stick long after they’ve been proved untrue. The first episode, which debuted at No. 1 on Spotify, is a chat with her friend Serena Williams about ambition. They talk about Williams’s recent retirement announcement and how Meghan never thought being ambitious was a bad thing until she started dating Harry. It’s a conversation that hovers between “candid or planned it.”

The rest of the episodes, she’ll dig into labels like Old Maid, Dragon Lady, Bimbo, Crazy, Angry Black Woman, Bitch (well, “B-word,” she clarifies and then squeals, “Oooooh! I don’t want to say that word. It makes me so uncomfortable!”), and Slut (Will Meghan say slut? “Oh my gosh. That makes me so uncomfortable.”) She has lined up a murderers’ row of guests: Constance Wu, Issa Rae, Lisa Ling, Margaret Cho, and Ziwe. (I’ll let you guess who aligns with which archetype.)

In her own life, Meghan’s response to being typecast seems to be to lean into all the positive things her story symbolizes. She understands what her ascent meant to Black Britons, for whom she’s a sign of progress, and to women, for whom she’s a working mom and a signal boost to the issues that affect them (paid parental leave, equal pay). Even though she avoids reading her own press, Meghan knows people see her this way. She recalls a moment from the 2019 London premiere of the live-action version of The Lion King. “I just had Archie. It was such a cruel chapter. I was scared to go out.” A cast member from South Africa pulled her aside. “He looked at me, and he’s just like light. He said, ‘I just need you to know: When you married into this family, we rejoiced in the streets the same we did when Mandela was freed from prison.’ ” Of course, she knows she’s no Mandela, but perhaps even telling me this story is a mode of defense, because if you are a symbol for all that is good and charitable, how can anybody find you objectionable, how can anybody hate you?

The result of trying always to do and say the right thing is the impression that she’s constantly policing herself, and in a meta-twist, I find myself worrying that the words I write about her will be misinterpreted and dissected — rudely, maliciously — too. In October 2021, the company Bot Sentinel released a study that found not only that the press around Meghan was disproportionately negative but that 70 percent of hateful posts about her came from just 83 accounts that reached up to 17 million Twitter users. I wonder if she was relieved by any of this: After being gaslit, she at last had proof that she had been harassed but also that it was just a small group of people. It didn’t really matter what she did; she would still have elicited this hatred. There has to be some freedom in that.

Somehow Archie knows his mother is at the gate of his preschool before the teacher even throws it open to set him free. He’s so excited to see her, repeating “Momma, Momma, Momma” in his little voice, as he runs toward her that he leaves his lunchbox behind on the ground. She scoops him up in a big hug so full of genuine emotion that both close their eyes.

Meghan grew up very close to her father, Thomas, a retired lighting director who gave Meghan her Hollywood bug, but she has been estranged from him basically since the wedding. (He was not in attendance.) And every miserable fissure in their former bond has been publicized, often by him. After the wedding, The Mail on Sunday leaked a heartfelt letter Meghan wrote to her father begging him to stop speaking to reporters. Meghan sued for invasion of privacy and won, though the defense mounted against her painted her as calculating and manipulative. When I ask about it, Meghan doesn’t stay in her sadness for long; instead, she uses it to discuss how toxic tabloid culture has torn two families apart. “Harry said to me, ‘I lost my dad in this process.’ It doesn’t have to be the same for them as it was for me, but that’s his decision.”

The car ride back to their house is very busy, dictated by the whims and conversational patterns of a toddler. Archie, munching on a quesadilla, wants to roll the window down himself, but not until we get to a specific huge hedge he mysteriously favors. We assess if he had a good day at school via an update letter from his teacher (he did and is ready for full days) and try to find out if he ate his sandwich at lunch (he did not). We solve the question of the mid-morning shirt change (they played in the water table). “Why are you afraid of heights like an airplane?” Archie asks, and that leads to a conversation about the importance of being brave. If he forgets to say please or thank you, Meghan reminds him of the manners that make the man. At a stoplight, she reaches into the trunk and produces a brand-new black backpack and hands it to her security detail to give to an unhoused man on the corner. They are teaching Archie that some people live in big houses, some in small, and that some are in between homes. They made kits to pass out with water and peanut-butter crackers and granola bars. “I ate one!” Archie contributes.

Earlier in our conversation about her goals for the life she’s creating here, she’d remarked upon how, if Archie were in school in the U.K., she’d never be able to do school pickup and drop-off without it being a royal photo call with a press pen of 40 people snapping pictures. “Sorry, I have a problem with that. That doesn’t make me obsessed with privacy. That makes me a strong and good parent protecting my child,” Meghan says. For now, even though two Montecito moms waiting in front of the school stopped mid-chat to do a double take, Archie is just the cheerful kid who brings a week’s worth of freshly picked fruit for his fellow classmates and enjoys playing a “roaring” game at recess.

We pull up to the house, and Archie leaps out. Harry is ending a phone call as Archie throws himself around his legs. Lilibet, unsmiling with watchful bright-blue eyes, is brought out by her nanny. She is small and also ginger, and when there is a small person in the room not smiling, it is a reflex to do anything to entertain them. Harry starts dancing to his own beatboxing, and Meghan bends down and joins in and then I find myself doing it too, until she gives a lopsided smile and we all realize it’s a bit strange to be bonding in this way.

We ended the visit in her sitting room, where there’s a massive grand piano Tyler Perry gifted her as a housewarming present. “Write the soundtrack for your life,” he told them.

“It’s interesting, I’ve never had to sign anything that restricts me from talking,” she reveals, as she ushers me toward the door. “I can talk about my whole experience and make a choice not to.” Why doesn’t she talk? “Still healing,” she responds.

I wonder if, given all she’s put behind her now, she thinks there is room for forgiveness between her and her royal in-laws and her own family.

“I think forgiveness is really important. It takes a lot more energy to not forgive,” she says wisely. “But it takes a lot of effort to forgive. I’ve really made an active effort, especially knowing that I can say anything,” she says, her voice full of meaning. And then she is silent. She breathes in and smiles and breathes out and says, “I have a lot to say until I don’t. Do you like that? Sometimes, as they say, the silent part is still part of the song.”

And then, quickly and decisively, as if it were my idea, the conversation ends. Meghan sets a harvest basket in my arms: a cornucopia of fruit and vegetables from their garden and a jar of jam from the Lili Bunny Garden + Larder (she had the labels made on Etsy). She smiles and waves as I make my way out the door, wondering if somehow I’d missed everything she was trying to say.

PRODUCTION CREDITS

Photographs by Campbell Addy

Styling by Jessica Willis

Hair by Hos Hounkpatin

Hair color by Kadi Lee

Makeup by Edwin Sandoval

Set design by Din Morris

Produced by Dana Brockman at viewfinders

Tailoring by Susie Kourinian

On Meghan: Cover: Tory Burch Colorblock Tulle Dress, available at toryburch.com. Lanvin Brass & Green Strass Melodie Earrings, available at select Lanvin Boutiques. From top: (1) Tory Burch Colorblock Tulle Dress, available at toryburch.com. Lanvin Brass & Green Strass Melodie Earrings, available at select Lanvin Boutiques. (2) Bottega Veneta dress, available at bottegaveneta.com. Mikimoto 8” Akoya cultured pearl strand featuring 9x8.5mm A+ Akoya cultured pearls with a Mikimoto signature clasp in 18K white gold, available at mikimotoamerica.com. Mateo 14k yellow gold Bypass Hoops with diamonds, available at mateonewyork.com. (3) Chanel Fantasy Tweed Dress, available at select Chanel boutiques nationwide. Manolo Blahnik BB-Black Suede Pump, available at manoloblahnik.com. Sophie Buhai Everyday Pearl Earrings, available at SophieBuhai.com. (4) Proenza Schouler Off-White Bi-Stretch Crepe Cinched Jacket and Crepe Pant, similar styles available at proenzaschouler.com. Manolo Blahnik BB-White Nappa Leather Pump, available at manoloblahnik.com. Mateo 14k Yellow Gold Large Half Moon Earrings with Diamonds, available at mateonewyork.com.

#meghan markle #duchess of sussex #prince harry #duke of sussex #long read #the cut #meghan of montecito

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