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peachhcs · 1 year

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The 5 times Neteyam loved you and the 1 time he said it.

Neteyam x fem!reader

Word count: 15.6k 😳

Summary: pretty self explanatory I think, but the 5 times Neteyam loved you and the 1 time he finally said it 😌

Warnings: near character death, talk of absent parents, gun & knife violence, blood

ITS FINALLY HERE!! THE LONG AWAITED 15k+ fic I took like a week to write 😭 This is cliche but I haven’t seen anyone else do this prompt before. I listened to the people and put this into one large fic, so I hope y’all like it!! The ending is..a little rocky, but it’s what you get after forcing myself to finish this. There is a prologue in this & I wasn’t originally going to include it, but I liked it too much to delete it from the story LOL

If you guys want a Lo’ak version, I have one in the drafts, but idk if that is something y’all want. My requests for fic ideas are open, so send some in if y’all want! Thanks for all the love!! (ps, not quite proof read so if there’s some spelling or grammatical errors my apologies)

MASTERLIST

PROLOGUE.

It was no doubt that you were an extreme pleaser. Growing up as the eldest sibling to your parent’s five, it was your job to stay in line. Set the example. Follow the rules. Be the golden child. It was the whole reason why you and Neteyam bonded so quickly when you met.

He knew how it felt to be the perfect one. You both carried the same burden, the same pressure, the same expectations set by your parents. All you wanted was to please them and get the praise you desperately craved.

You saw Neteyam for a few weeks now. It started one day in the woods when you were out exploring. Foana and Ni`awtu insisted going out into the forest. You knew being the eldest that you couldn’t possibly leave them to their own devices, so you reluctantly followed after them.

That same afternoon, the Sully kids decided embarking on their own expedition. The clan was so large and spread out in nearly every part of the forest that you hardly knew every single person. You knew of the Sully children and their great father Jake, the Olo’eyktan and Toruk Makto, however you did not know them.

Everything changed for you and your siblings that afternoon when Foana wandered off. You had no idea that a certain Sully boy would change the entire trajectory of your life that day.

You were distracted with admiring the beautiful flora that you didn’t even realize your younger sister disappeared. A tiny tug on your tail made you spin around, hissing at Ni`awtu standing shyly behind you.

“Ni, what do you want?” You answered annoyed that she interrupted your gazing. Seeing her little worried features made you scrap any annoyance you ever possessed in the first place.

“It is Foana. I do not know where she went.” The fear laced through the young girl’s voice. Your eyes shot up, now realizing that the youngest sibling was no longer around the two of you.

To make matters even worse, you only brought your knife with you expecting a quick and short trip.

“Ni`awtu, you were supposed to be watching her at all times. Argh.” You pushed past her, beginning to sniff out any possible trails Foana may wandered off on.

“I am sorry, sister. I swear, I thought she was right behind me.” The familiar wobble of Ni’s voice and her trembling hands told you she was close to tears. Sighing, you collected her into your arms.

“Do not worry, it is not your fault. We will find her.” Being the eldest meant you could not be mad at your little siblings for long. You also could not let them take the blame for things—even if it was their fault at times. That was just what came with growing up as the eldest. You took nearly all the blame.

The two of you walked the tree lines, scanning every possible inch for that little rascal. She hardly knew the forest like you, so she couldn’t have been too far. If anything, she was probably cowering underneath a leaf or behind a tree because she did not know where she was anymore.

Your ears perked up when you heard voices ahead. In a quick maneuver, you shoved your sister behind you incase it was a threat. Not many from your clan ventured this far out into the forest by the old shack. It was forbidden by the Olo’eyktan—so whoever was ahead couldn’t possibly be Na’vi.

There was a tiny laugh, though. It caught you off guard and your defenses fell for just a moment. There came another laugh, louder and one you recognized this time.

“Foana.” You muttered and ran ahead through the brush.

When you came through clearing, you grew surprised seeing your little sister playing around with another younger Na’vi girl.

“Y/N, look! I made a friend!” Little Foana sensed your presence and motioned towards the other little girl. She smiled up at you with a toothy grin.

“Foana, what in Eywa are you doing all the way out here? You do not wander away from me or your sister.” Your mom voice came out, loud and booming. The little one looked down in shame realizing she was in trouble.

“I am sorry, sister. I did not mean to. I just..I saw a flying lizard and had to follow it. I found her on the way.” She stuck out a thumb at other girl. Another sigh escaped your lips knowing she must’ve also strayed off her path and probably had people looking for her as well.

“Tuk! There you are! Why did you wander off?” A new voice entered the scene. She raced past you, scooping up the girl in her arms.

“Sorry, Kiri. I found a friend, though.” Tuk pointed at your sister who gave a similar toothy grin and a wave.

“It is okay, sister. Just make sure you tell someone next time, okay? Neteyam, I found her, it is okay.” You didn’t realized there was entire group behind you now. Two boys, no three boys, stood behind you. Two Na’vi and the singular human boy you knew lived around here.

“Tuk, I told you to keep up with us.” The shorter Na’vi boy went past you to ruffle up her little braids.

You hadn’t moved a single muscle since their sudden arrival. You were too awestruck in the way they comforted the girl. Neither of them showed any signs of anger or annoyance that she wandered off. It was so unfamiliar to you—all of that sincerity and comfort to one another.

“Oh, please excuse us. I am so sorry. I am Kiri. This is Tuk, Lo’ak, Neteyam, and Spider behind you.” The girl that came in first finally acknowledged your presence with a warm smile as she introduced what must’ve been her siblings.

“Oh, no need for apologies. I am Y/N. This is Ni`awtu and Foana.” You did a bow of greeting which your sisters quickly followed after.

“It seems as though our sisters have befriended one another. We were so worried when we realized she had wandered off.” Kiri laughed and pinched Tuk’s little nose. You smiled at the affection.

“Yes, us too. I was glad I found them both unharmed.” You pulled your sisters closer, trying to show a tiny bit of affection like the other siblings displayed.

“Let’s just be glad we didn’t need to call dad in. He would have beaten our asses if we told him we lost Tuk.” Lo’ak laughed and then his older brother smacked him on the head. The unfamiliar terms and use of some English words intrigued you. Not many Na’vi knew English besides the Olo’eyktan—obviously being from the sky.

You began putting two and two together. The five fingers of Lo’ak and Kiri. Lo’ak’s use of English phrases you didn’t quite understand. These were the Sully children. The Olo’eyktan’s kids.

“Oh my Eywa, I am sorry. You are children of the Olo’eyktan. It is a pleasure to meet you.” You rushed out, flushed you had not picked up on it beforehand. You bowed again, urging your sisters to do the same.

“Woah, we’ve never been greeted like that before.” Lo’ak snickered and the older boy hit his head again.

“Lo’ak, stop it. Do not apologize. We are Omatikaya as much as you are. It is really our father who gets bowed to.” The older one spoke to you in a kind tone that had your face heating up in a way it had never done before.

“Well, it is still a great pleasure to meet all of you.” He grinned at you. There was something igniting inside of you just looking at his smile. Something you had never felt before.

“Can Foana and I have a playdate sometime?” Tuk spoke to you, her little voice adorable as ever. However, you were unfamiliar with the term she used.

“Playdate means like a hang out.” Kiri must’ve seen your confusion. You quickly nodded.

“Of course, anytime as long as neither of you wander off again.” You joked some, smiling down at your little sister. She grinned excitedly.

“Perfect, you may bring her over anytime or we can bring Tuk over. She has been so excited to start making new friends ever since our parents allowed her to go out more.” Kiri was so soft spoken and so gentle. Her presence alone just made you feel so warm and welcomed.

“You could bring your other siblings, too. You have two others, right?” Lo’ak spoke up more. You quickly nodded, a bit surprised he even knew that. It wasn’t like your family was well known like they were.

“Tsanten and Naria.” You did not miss the way Lo’ak’s face blushed at the mention of Naria.

“Well, bring them all and even yourself, we love the company.” Kiri beamed and you couldn’t help but smile yourself.

You hardly received invitations out often. You were always busy taking care of your siblings, cleaning up, staying in, following your parents’ orders. It didn’t leave much room for fun and going out.

Neteyam was still glancing in your direction. He just couldn’t seem to pull his eyes away from your pretty hair flowing loosely down your back, or the way your eyes lit up when Kiri extended the invitation to you and the rest of your siblings.

He knew of your family through passing here and there. You were the eldest, just like him, yet he never saw you out much. Either you were hidden away in your tent, or out hunting. He knew you were a hunter because Beyral spoke of your name often.

You intrigued him. He liked the way the confusion floated over your face when Lo’ak or Tuk used phrases you didn’t understand. He liked the protective nature you held over every single one of your siblings—similar to him. How you held them close to you. He wanted to know more about you. He wanted to make you smile again because it sent an unfamiliar feeling of butterflies in his stomach that he enjoyed.

He wanted more of you. If only the two of you knew what your future held.

ONE.

Neteyam was protective over everything in his life—his parents, his siblings, and now you. Being the eldest, especially to the Olo’eyktan, it was his job becoming the protector when his father wasn’t there.

He fought off anyone who poked fun at Lo’ak or Kiri for having five fingers. He made sure someone was with Tuk at all times when she went out to the forest. He helped his mother anytime she asked whether it was with food or his siblings.

There was no denying how similar the two of you were. It was what drew him to you. You held the same protective nature as him. You took care of your siblings the same way he did. You understood the burdens he carried because you held them high on your shoulders as well.

It was when the two of you were together that he could let go of everything, even if it was just for a little bit. When the day was done and everyone was sound asleep for the night, tucked safely into their tents was when the two of you snuck out to spend time together.

It was more of a private relationship for the time being. Being the next Olo’eyktan in line, Neteyam knew that if he told people he was seeing someone it would spread like wildfire across the village. People would start talking and they probably wouldn’t ever leave you alone once the word was out. He wasn’t sure if you wanted that on top of everything else and if he was being honest, he wanted you to himself just a little while longer.

His feet worked quickly jumping from tree branch to tree branch. The luminescent forest was his guiding light through the night and he took one final swing to his destination. When he got his footing, there you were right where you met almost every night.

Your back was slumped against the tree and you hadn’t noticed him yet, instead, your gaze was focused on the glimmering stars above. Every time, Neteyam was so in awe of you. He knew how stressed you were throughout the day having to do this and that, so seeing you here waiting for him in the most relaxed state gave him a sense of pride.

“Oh, hi.” You finally noticed his looming presence. The boy grinned, walking towards you.

“Hi, sorry I am late. I had to make sure Tuk was truly asleep for the night.” The sound of your laugh made his heart swell in his chest. He snuggled himself in beside you with his head resting on your stomach.

When you put your hands across his back, all of his muscles finally relaxed. The stress slowly dissipated and everything felt right being in your arms. During the day, he was a leader who held no fear. At night when he was with you like this, none of that mattered. He didn’t have to put on the facade for you.

“She never falls asleep on time. I think she is afraid she will miss out on something. Foana is the same way.” He hummed when he felt your other hand begin brushing through his braids.

“That explains why she is always following Lo’ak and Kiri around.” Your stomach rumbled with laughter again and the vibrations were so calming to Neteyam. If he could, he would have your laugh on repeat.

“Your training, how did that go today?” Another thing Neteyam adored about you was how you never failed to ask him about his day. Any detail he told you, you remembered and talked about it the next night. He had never been listened to like that before. It made everything inside of him feel warm and appreciated like he had a purpose.

“It was okay. I think dad is getting mad at me because I can not seem to understand things as fast as he wants me to.” Neteyam sat himself up so he could look at you properly. His back fell against the tree in the same way yours did, still keeping your bodies close.

“You will get it, do not worry. It takes time learning all the ways of the Olo’eyktan. Your father probably struggled as much as you did once.” You clutched his bicep to give it a comforting squeeze. Neteyam’s gaze fell away to the sky, though. His mind beginning to turn elsewhere.

“Yes, but he was already strong when he fell into the position. He was an adult already. I am merely a teenager still.” He heard you scoff beside him.

“You are just as strong, Neteyam. Do not tell yourself you are not. You are learning and your father just wants what is best for you.” You always knew what to say to him to make him feel better. His gaze finally fell back to you, your gentle gaze making his face blush.

“I think my parents are catching up to the fact that I may be seeing someone.” You giggled, looking away as you changed subjects. Neteyam, however, stiffened up at your words.

“What do you say?”

“Well, I just laugh it off and say I am not. They do not ask much more after that.” He could not read your expression because you weren’t looking at him. He didn’t know if you were upset you had to deny it or something entirely different.

He certainly wished he didn’t have to be so private about his personal life, but he was afraid his mother wound disapprove—not that there was anything to disapprove of you. It was mostly the others in the clan. People would start talking. They would start seeking you out. You would have to start learning the ways of Tsahik, maybe (Hopefully in his mind). He wanted to make sure you were completely comfortable to be put into such a spotlight like he was before anything was really said about the two of you.

“Neteyam? Are you alright?” Your voice snapped him from his thoughts. You were already looking at him when he met your pretty golden eyes.

“Yes, sorry. I was lost in thought.” He gave you a gentle smile to reassure you.

“About what?” You loved to pick his brain though. His expression twisted and he found the need to place his arm around you and pull you closer towards him. Your head fell absently against his chest.

“It is not important.” He had this thing where he would sometimes hide his emotions from you. He did not want to burden you with this one right now.

“I feel like it is, though. I will not make you tell me, but you can if you want to.” Another feature he absolutely adored about you. You never pried, but made it known that he could tell you anything. He squeezed you a tiny bit closer as if there was anymore space left between you two.

“Are-are you..upset that our relationship is not..for the entire clan to know?” He blurted and then avoided your gaze so he wouldn’t see your expression.

“No, not necessarily. I like the privacy.” You answered honestly, but Neteyam wasn’t sure if he believed it yet or not.

“Are you lying?” You sat up more to look at him. He was gnawing at his lip, worried that you were lying.

If he could give you the world, he would. He wanted to give you everything. He wanted to show you off and take you on dates that weren’t in the dark. He wanted to hold your hand and kiss you in front of people so they knew you were his. However, he could not do any of that in fear that someone would be mean to you or say rude things. The entire clan was kind, but there were few who said things when they did not approve. Neteyam only knew because he heard the things people said about his father when he became Olo’eyktan.

He is demon blood. How would he know how to lead a clan?

Can we really trust him with our people?

What does she see in him?

Those children, they are demon blood. Five fingers.

They are not true Na’vi.

He could only imagine the things they could say when he announced his possible chosen woman. He wanted to keep you out of that. He wanted to protect you from it as much as he could.

“No, I am not lying. Why would I lie?” You gave a small chuckle; however, Neteyam was still not eased.

“Right, sorry. You would not lie about that.” He looked down, embarrassed he even thought you would lie to him. A gentle hand cupped his face and directed his attention back to you.

“What is going on in that head of yours? Tell me, it seems to be bothering you.” You observed his entire face and Neteyam was flushing under your intense stare.

He took your hands in his, squeezing gently and blowing out a long breath.

“I want to give you the world, but I can not. I only do not tell people about our relationship because I am afraid they will say things we do not like. I do not want them to hurt you and say things like they do about my father and mother. That is the only reason I have kept us from them. Not because I am embarrassed or anything of you.” Neteyam spilled his entire heart to you right then and there. He watched your face for a reaction and subconsciously prepared for a negative one.

Instead, you just grinned and stroked his hand with your thumb.

“I did not think you were embarrassed of me. I know you have a lot on your mind all the time. You do not need to explain yourself to me. I do not mind keeping our relationship private.” Your head tilted to the side, still grinning.

“I just want to make sure you are completely ready to have every eye on our relationship when and if we tell people. It is a lot of pressure and people will be talking. I do not want to just push you into that if you are not ready.” Neteyam continued.

“I am ready whenever you are ready. You worry too much about me.” You laughed and Neteyam’s head fell against your chest. You cradled the back of his head with a smile.

“So you are sure you are ready to handle it? You can tell me no.” He looked back up at you, scanning your face for any possible secret resentment you weren’t telling him.

“You forget I have thick skin. I grew up with parents who were perfecting my every move. If I can take them, I think I can handle being your girlfriend in public.”

It was then that Neteyam knew you were it for him. You held no fear in your eyes that he seemed to be harboring deep down in his depths. You were ready to be by his side under any circumstance.

He brought your face into his hands so he could pull you forward for a kiss. It was everything he could not say and everything he wanted you to know. The night was young and so were you two in that moment.

TWO.

Tonight was a big night as Neteyam ran around the hut like some mad person. He was shoving Tuk’s toys away, cleaning every single space, forcing his family to be on their best behavior—especially Lo’ak.

You were joining his family for dinner so they could properly meet you. Despite all of his siblings already knowing you, it was his parents who did not have much knowledge about you. It was mostly just name in passing, but one they never asked much about.

When Neteyam told his parents he was even seeing someone in the first place, their reactions were pretty priceless.

“Hey, mom, dad?” The eldest Sully walked into their hut while his parents worked away at their own separate projects. They turned his way at the sound of his voice.

“Yes, what it is ma son?” Neytiri questioned. The boy was flushed and picking at his fingers, unsure of how to even approach the subject.

It wasn’t that his parents were against him dating around, but he had never shown much interest beforehand, so he wasn’t sure how they were going to react now.

“I..I um-well, you see, I met this girl a few weeks ago. She is very kind, strong, intelligent, a hunter. I-I would like you to meet her one night over a dinner, maybe?” He carefully watched for their reactions.

His mother, wide-eyed, looked over at her husband. They exchanged a few glances, probably speaking with their eyes, but Neteyam had no idea what they were silently saying. He worried it was bad things.

“Oh! Yes, yes, of course. We would love to meet this girl. Who is she? Is she Omatikaya? Does she live around here?” His mother stood, embracing him while asking the hundred questions she had. His father sat back with a tiny, proud smile on his lips.

“Her name is Y/n. She is just a few huts down. She is a great hunter and warrior. Beyral speaks of her sometimes.” Neteyam explained your background as best as he could. Both of his parents were beaming widely.

“Yes, I have heard that name a few times before. She sounds wonderful, I am so excited to meet her. I had no idea you were seeing someone.” Neytiri was the most enthusiastic for her eldest. He had nearly reached all of his requirements that would make him one of the People and it was only a matter of time before he would begin looking for a future mate.

Tuk went on all day about her excitement that you would be joining them tonight. Neytiri worked all day preparing a great meal with the help of Kiri.

“Bro, I can’t believe you never told us about dating around with Y/n.” Lo’ak snickered as he helped with some of the cleaning. He earned a slap on his head for that comment.

“Well, it was not much of your business, was it?” Neteyam retorted and the younger brother only shrugged.

“I knew you were sneaking out late at night. I could just never have proof.” Another snicker and another slap. Lo’ak finally let up on his annoying teasing.

“Tuk!!” A little scream broke the boys from their conversation. Nearly everyone in the hut looked over to see a little Na’vi girl run in. Tuk was smiling widely, bringing her friend in for a hug.

“Foana! What did I say?—“ Suddenly, you appeared, grabbing at your youngest sister. Neteyam noticed your other three siblings just behind you. You met his eyes before darting them over to his parents who were glancing your way. Your entire face flushed.

“I am so sorry. Foana begged me to bring her to say hello to Tuk and then..well, I could not leave everyone else out.” You quickly explained yourself in small embarrassment. Neteyam rushed to greet you.

“Tsanten, Naria, what’s up?” Lo’ak happily got up to greet your other siblings. Ni`awtu stood shyly behind your back.

“I am so sorry for them.” You whispered to Neteyam when he was close enough. He only grinned.

“Do not apologize.” He kissed your cheek and then stepped aside for his mother who approached.

“It is nice to finally meet you, Y/n. I have heard many things.” Neteyam watched the exchange, still a tiny bit nervous for his parents approval of you. You smiled, nerves also evident behind your eyes.

“It is so nice to meet you as well, Mrs. Sully. I have heard so many things about you.” You bowed your head using the I see you gesture.

“Please, call me Neytiri. It is so nice to meet all of your siblings, as well.” She grinned again at the other little kids talking with her own children.

“Oh, thank you. They will not be staying, they just begged me to bring them to say hello.” You rushed out, eyeing each one of them to make sure they were being well-behaved in the home of the Olo’eyktan.

“Oh please, we have so much food. They can stay.” Your eyes shot to Neteyam. He only gave you a small shrug, ultimately it being your decision. He figured it would be easier to get your siblings’ introductions out of the way now too.

“Oh, no, you do not have to do that.” You shook your head, but Neytiri was persistent.

“It is no trouble. I insist.” She gently touched your arm. Neteyam could tell you were not used to such hospitality. He also touched your arm and you glanced his way. He nodded, saying if his mother thought it was okay, then it was okay for them to stay.

If anything, it would hopefully keep Lo’ak out of trouble or saying things he shouldn’t if he had other people to talk to that he liked. That was Neteyam’s biggest concern of the night, really.

“Okay, thank you, really.” You thanked Neytiri by bowing your head once more. She grinned and then walked away.

Jake came next to greet you. Neteyam knew you were worrying about him more than anything. He was Olo’eyktan and Toruk Makto after all and it was the most important to get his approval.

“Hello, Y/n. I am glad to finally meet you.” You bowed to him which he did the same back.

“It is a pleasure to meet you.” Neteyam watched as you urged your siblings to bow before his father as well. They listened to you, doing as told.

You held such power over the little ones, but not in a bad way. Neteyam wondered if they listened to you more than your own parents. You had told him many stories of you becoming the main parent for your siblings growing up. Your parents were very absent. They were always on hunting trips, so it often left you caring for them. The eldest Sully could tell it wore you down—slumped shoulders, tired eyes, callouses on each of your hands, cuts, and bruises.

“Please, please, come in. Make yourselves at home. Our hut is your hut.” Jake ushered all of you in further. You smiled at him, not quite understanding the phrase, but you knew it was a kind one by his tone and expression.

“Y/n! Y/n! Guess what I did this week?” Tuk grabbed at your arm. You smiled down at her and crouched to her eye level.

“What did the mighty Tuk do this week?” Neteyam smiled at the way you ruffled up her hair.

“I caught my very first fish!” The little girl jumped up and down in excitement.

“That is amazing, Tuk! I am so proud of you!” You squeezed her tightly.

“Tell her how big it was.” Neteyam encouraged. His little sister held out her arms wider than herself. Your eyes widened.

“No way. That is bigger than you!” She giggled in excitement.

“I know! Everyone was so excited for me.”

“I certainly hope they were. That is a great accomplishment little Tuk.” You stood and Neteyam beamed at you. He saw your face flush a bit.

“You know she adores you, right?” He reached up to push some of your hair away from your eyes. You were wearing it loose like usual and some of it was pinned back with little petals hooked into it.

You blushed again. Neteyam loved how he could always make you blush like that.

The night went on just the way Neteyam planned. His parents asked you and your siblings many questions which you all happily answered. Just by the smiles and exchanges, Neteyam knew his parents loved you already which relieved him. He was worried something would go wrong. Lo’ak even managed to keep his comments to a minimal and mostly because he didn’t want to look like some fool in front of Naria.

Later, after helping his mom clean up, Neteyam went looking for you. He stopped short when he saw you sitting with Tuk, Foana, and Ni`awtu. You were playing some game with some sticks with them. There was a large smile on your face as you laughed at what Tuk would say. Even your sister, Ni`awtu, was smiling despite how shy she came off as.

Neteyam felt a hand come around his back. His mother appeared next to him, also watching the scene unfold. The sun began to set and eclipse was near. The forest was illuminating around you four. It was the prettiest sight Neteyam had ever seen—you with his little sister playing her games she always made up.

“She is a wonderful woman, Neteyam.” He smiled, glancing his mother’s way for a moment.

“So you like her?”

“We love her. If you do decide one day, she will make a great mate.” A small wave of relief washed through the older boy. He was so glad his parents approved of you.

Now it was just a matter of telling the rest of the clan. He knew most of them would be as supportive as his parents, but there was always the handful that had something to say. Neteyam would do his best to protect you from those who would say things.

Although, for now he would just enjoy the scene in front of him. He wanted to keep the warm feeling bubbling up in his chest for as long as possible. You were utterly perfect in his eyes.

“Neteyam! Come join us!” Tuk had noticed his presence. His mother squeezed his arm before letting him go. You made room for him to join the circle. The two of you exchanged a glance, knowing exactly what the other was saying.

You were definitely a keeper.

THREE.

Neteyam knew you were an excellent fighter. You were the best in the age group every time you went for trainings. He was always so in awe anytime he watched you skillfully use your bow and arrow to hit the targets on the ground from above. Or, your stealth as you dodged in and out of the trees. He knew he could never be as great of a fighter as you were.

However, with that also came the fear he held every time you left to go on missions. This one in particular was an especially dangerous one. His father appointed you to the head and it even shocked Neteyam a bit when he was told to hang back on this one but you were going.

You sat on the ground between his legs as he worked separate little braids into your hair for you. The only time you ever wore braids was for these missions or when you went hunting.

Neteyam did not want you to know he was worrying and playing every single worse case scenario in his head, so he kept quiet as his fingers worked quickly through your hair. However, his leg was bouncing right beside your head and that was hard for you to keep ignoring.

“Neteyam, are you alright?” You placed your hand over his knee. He realized it was bouncing and quickly stopped.

“Yes, I am fine.” You twisted your head around, pausing his braiding for a moment. The look on your face told him you didn’t believe him.

“Liar. What is wrong? Tell me.” You urged and Neteyam knew he couldn’t keep being quiet anymore.

“I am just worried is all. It always happens when you leave for missions like these.” He admitted, forcing a smile so you didn’t see all of his worry. You frowned a bit.

“You know you have nothing to worry about. I am a warrior. I always have been. When have I not come back from one of these?” Your tone was more of a “duh” tone. It didn’t ease Neteyam’s fear though.

“You never know what can happen, though.” He quickly make his defense. Instead of meeting your eyes, he just continued to work away at your hair.

“I suppose I do not, but you trust me, right? You trust your father. He would not send me into something dangerous.” Of course, Neteyam trusted both of you. It was the Sky People he had no trust in. He had seen them fight and the way they always had the upper hand with their crazy machine guns.

“Of course, but I am even not going. Is that not saying something?” He made a face and you were unsure what to say.

Neteyam finished off the last of your braids. The ends jingled together with the beads he added in. They were some of his own and he smiled at the fact that you two were going to match.

He turned you around and dipped his fingers into the bowl of paint beside his leg. You stayed still as he traced it around your face. He thought how jealous Lo’ak would be that you got to wear the war paint he didn’t on missions.

The two of you were silent. The feeling in the air changed ever since you didn’t know how to respond to Neteyam’s last statement.

You stood to look at yourself in the mirror when your face was done. The blue and yellow streaks went down your cheeks and around your eyes.

“Here, do not forget these.” Neteyam stood with your riding visor. He gently reached up to hook it around your ears.

You never flew with a riding visor, but then Neteyam made you one because he was worried about the wind drying out your eyes. You had happily accepted his very thoughtful gift and ever since then, you never rode without it.

“I am a warrior. I will make it back.” He felt comfort in the way you squeezed his arm. Your gaze was on him with a reassuring expression.

“I know you will. I just worry about you.” He cupped your face into his hands, bringing you towards him more.

“I have been doing this my whole life. I have my transmitter, too, so you will be able to listen in.” You placed the collar just above your necklaces and then hooked the earpiece into your ear. Neteyam remembered how thrilled you were when Jake gifted it you.

“We’re off in five minutes, everyone. Be ready!” Jake spoke through your ear. You glanced towards the opening where others headed out to their ikrans.

Neteyam brought your forehead against his. He closed his eyes, breathing you in and savoring every single detail about you just in case.

“Good luck. Be safe.” You smiled at his Earth phrases and brushed your hand along his cheek.

“I will see you soon.” He brought you in for one more kiss. His lips worked a bit rough like it was the last kiss he would give you. He was worrying that much.

You were the one to pull away, knowing you had to be out there very soon. He leaned into your touch when you kissed his cheek and then hurried out of his grasp. Neteyam hurried outside of your hut to watch you take off.

His dad took the lead as he dove off the cliff first. You were quick to follow, disappearing from his view almost immediately. Others in the clan who stayed behind clapped for the war party. Neteyam’s worry was only piling higher in his stomach, already anxiously awaiting your return.

—

Hours felt like days in his mind as he paced around his own hut. Tuk was in the corner playing with her toys and Kiri eyed on her older brother as he paced.

“Brother, you need to stop worrying so much. You know she will make it back. Y/n is very strong.” Kiri tried reassuring the anxious boy in front of her.

“I know, I know. This mission was a dangerous one, though. Dad did not even let Lo’ak and I go, yet he had Y/n go?” The logic still didn’t make much sense in Neteyam’s head. He wasn’t trying to discredit your abilities, but if you were going, he should’ve at least came along too.

“You have to remember that Y/n has been a warrior her whole life. Even when she was a kid. She was out hunting when she could walk. This is in her nature. Your father knows that and he knows she is a very useful asset to this mission.” His mother piped in from the other side of the hut. He didn’t even known she was listening to the conversation.

“Yeah, what mom said. She’s been fighting like this her whole life. She knows how to handle herself.” Kiri added on.

“Yeah, plus, she doesn’t always need you at her side and call.” Lo’ak had piped in now and Neteyam glared at him. Since when did his whole family become involved in this conversation.

“I am just trying to protect her.” He said in defense to what his younger brother said. Lo’ak just shrugged.

“Ma son, I know it is scary to not know what is happening, but we need to trust the Great Mother and everyone on that mission. They know what they are doing.” Neytiri squeezed Neteyam’s arm for comfort. The boy sighed, but nodded.

As if on cue, people started shouting outside of their hut. In the distance, ikran calls filled their ears. Neteyam instantly knew what that meant—the war party was returning. Everyone in the hut ran outside to greet them and check for any major injuries if any.

Jake’s ikran landed roughly atop the rocky cliff. You flew in not a moment later. The crowds were thick around the edge and it was hard to truly see what was going on. Being as tall as he was, Neteyam still could not see that well past the others trying to get a closer look.

He did not know where you were. You must have gotten down from your ikran, because it’s back was empty and there was no sign of you. Neteyam tried to push through some of the crowd, but it wasn’t much use because no one wanted to move.

“I heard it was bad. Many people were injured.”

“I can not believe he let that little girl go on such a dangerous mission.”

“This was one of their toughest missions yet.”

The words floated around his head as he heard people muttering to one another. He tried not to picture the worst for you. You had made it back, he knew that, but were you severely injured? Neteyam’s heart was practically beating a hole in his chest trying to find you.

Finally, he caught sight of some familiar braids and war paint near the edge of the crowd. He recognized Tsanten and Ni`awtu at your side hugging you.

“Y/n!” He finally was able to break out of the group. He hurried to you, joining in on your siblings’ group hug. He felt the way you clutched the back of his head with one hand and the other held onto his arm with a firm grip.

“Are you okay? Are you injured?” Neteyam pulled back to back to examine your face for any injuries.

Despite the minor cuts and scrapes, nothing looked too alarming to his knowledge. You had a pretty large gnash on your back, but it wasn’t bleeding out profusely or anything.

“No, I am not injured. Just scraped up.” You gave him a tiny smile. He was glad he got to see that again as he cupped your face and placed a quick peck onto your lips.

“Come on, I am sure Mo’at has medicine for these cuts.” You let Neteyam lead you away from the crowds and back to the huts. He sat you down on the ground and then disappeared to find his grandmother.

When he returned he had a handful of herbs, creams, oils, and bandages in his arms. You giggled at the sight.

“I did not think you were much of a healer.” He dropped everything at your side and then kneeled down to your level.

“Well my grandmother is the Tsahik after all. I happen to know one or two things.” Neteyam argued, his lips dancing with a tiny smile.

He gently worked to take your visor off and then wiped away the war paint. He knew you didn’t like to talk about the missions right away, so he enjoyed the comfortable silence between you two instead.

Neteyam’s hands were gentle as he rubbed the special herbs against your skin. You would occasionally hiss when it hurt a little bit more and he would mumble something about how he was almost done and you were doing so well.

He certainly wasn’t a healer like his grandmother or Kiri who had a special hand at medicine, but it meant a lot to both of you when he would heal your wounds for youor, when you would heal his after a long hunting day.

“Many, many people got hurt today.” You spoke after some silence. Neteyam hummed behind you.

“It was that bad?”

“Their machines are just so powerful. We are no match with our bows and arrows sometimes. They had to have known we were coming because they attacked back at us so harshly.” You shook your head some and Neteyam knew there was vivid images replaying in your mind.

“It is so hard to understand why they want us dead. If they were just a bit kinder then maybe there could be more peace worked out.” You continued on with your little rant, frustration becoming set in your body language. Your shoulders fell tense under the Sully boy’s hands.

“You know how hard they have tried with us. Someone always gets hurt. I suppose after all the failed efforts they have no other choice but violence, unfortunately.” Neteyam knew all about the schools his mother once attended in her earlier years. It seemed like the Sky People tried making an effort, but nothing ever held permanently.

“I know, it is just so frustrating. Tsanten and Naria are growing to that age where they will be old enough to go out on their own. I worry for them and what those demons could do to them.” A scowl sat on your face. Neteyam turned you around, cupping your face in his hands.

“I know how terrifying it can be. I worry for my siblings everyday, but you are very strong and you will be able to teach them well.” You smiled, but it didn’t stay for long as you casted your gaze away from him.

“I just wish I was not the one to always do it. My parents pay no attention to them anymore. They are always away. It should not be my job to teach my siblings every single life skill they will ever need.” You pushed yourself up from the ground, leaving Neteyam’s grasp.

He watched you wander to the entryway where you stared at the people moving about outside. Many were still tending to those who were wounded more worse than you.

Neteyam wasn’t a complete open book, but when he was with you, he felt comfortable enough to share the things bothering him the most. You, on the other hand, had a more harder time opening up to him. He knew you trusted him, but he couldn’t pull everything from you. He knew you parents were strict and absent people, always being away, which is why you held so much responsibility and burden. However, he didn’t know much more than that. You always closed it off.

Hearing what you were saying now, though, it was more than what you would usually say. Neteyam got up to join you at the entryway.

“You are right, it should not be your job, but unfortunately it is. You do a great job at teaching them and raising them.” His hand fell against your back. You leaned a tiny bit closer to him while your gaze was on Foana and Tuk a few feet away.

“I worry that they think I am too hard on them, but I am really just trying to help them survive on their own.” In that moment, Neteyam realized something. His whole life, his parents taught him how to hunt, fish, make kills, but their biggest motto was “Sully’s stick together.”

While yes, he was learning things on his own, he was also learning that he wouldn’t have to be alone because his family would always have his back. You did not have that.

You were the one who would always have your siblings’ back, but they wouldn’t always necessarily have yours. You were teaching them to survive on their own, not to depend on one another like he was taught growing up. Independence was a key feature of your family dynamic. Dependence was the key feature of his family dynamic.

“You are not too hard on them. You are doing what you know and hoping they will learn it too. It is a great feature to know you will always be dependable for them. However, you can always depend on me if you ever needed something.” You met his gaze and Neteyam smiled warmly at you.

“Your words are too kind. Thank you, my love.” Neteyam’s ears perked up. He had never heard that nickname before from you. You giggled upon seeing his surprised reaction.

“No, thank you, pretty girl.” He engulfed his arms around your shoulders to bring you into his chest. You chuckled and he knew you didn’t quite understand his nickname he gave you, but it didn’t matter.

He thought that maybe you going out on these missions weren’t so bad as long as he was the one to patch you up afterwards—and he always was going to be the one patching you up every. single. time.

FOUR.

Neteyam ventured out on a day-long hunting expedition with his father, brother, and even your own little brother. You remembered how excited Tsanten was when Jake approached him one night to ask if he wanted to tag along to get some pointers from the older guys.

It warmed your heart to see Neteyam’s family being so welcome to your own. Tsanten didn’t have your dad to take him out like this, so being able to finally go out was like a dream come true for him, especially with the Olo’eyktan.

You had a pretty slow day considering Neytiri decided to take Tuk, Kiri, and your other three sisters out for what she liked to call a “girls day.” She extended the invite to you, but you figured with everyone out of the hut was a great opportunity to get some cleaning done.

With a job that would usually take hours, it only took about two and you were done by noon. Toys were put away; the rug was cleaned; things were put back where they belonged—the entire hut looked spotless.

You ended up venturing over to the Sully residence to see if Neytiri and the girls returned yet. You thought it was empty approaching since it was practically silent until you saw Mo’at sitting near the back grinding some of her herbs together.

She caught your eye before you could walk away. You had never really spoken to the Tsahik before. Most times, you would send your siblings in if they had gotten hurt and waited outside for them. You knew she was a woman of few words despite being so highly respected within the clan.

You bowed to her.

“You must be Neteyam’s…oh what do they say..girlfriend?” The older woman cracked a tiny smile causing you to flush.

“I suppose so, yes. I apologize for interrupting you.” You nodded to her bowl of herbs. She waved you off though, beckoning you inside.

“I come here sometimes to get away when I want to be alone. There is always someone bursting into my hut needing fixing.” You smiled a bit, sitting down beside the older Na’vi.

“I understand. It is always nice to get away sometimes.” She smiled, glad you understood her.

You felt a bit strange being in Neteyam’s home without him there. Ever since the family dinner, you had only been over a handful of times, so being here alone with just his grandmother was definitely different. The usual organized chaos that filtered through his home was replaced with tranquility as the day grew shorter.

“You are a hunter and warrior correct?” Mo’at spoke up again. Flushing that she knew that about you, you nodded.

“Those are very useful skills to have as a Na’vi like you. I am impressed, especially with how much my grandson tells me about you.” She waved her finger around. You were sure that if Neteyam was here he would be embarrassed she had said that.

“Thank you, Mo’at. My parents grew up that way, so they raised me the same.” Your parents had always been die-hard warriors, so it was practically in all of your blood to become just like them one day.

“I do not see your parents around as often as I used to.” Who knew the Tsahik knew so much about your family. You scratched the back of your ear to find some excuse that didn’t sound horrible to tell her.

“They are always on hunting trips. They like to travel a lot.” Not a complete lie, but not exactly the entire truth.

“I see, I see. They always seemed to be very ambitious people.” You nodded. Yes, ambitious was certainly one way to describe them.

“It is mostly just my siblings and I around the hut. They like to take very long hunting trips.” Mo’at nodded once again.

“Yes, Neteyam says that you are the main caretaker of your siblings.” You flushed again. How much was Neteyam actually talking about you when you weren’t around? A lot, apparently.

“That task can be rather daunting, but he says you handle it very well. All of your siblings seem like very respectful people.” She continued before you could respond. You smiled. That compliment meant a lot coming from Tsahik of the village.

“Thank you, that means a lot coming from you.” She grinned at you while continuing to crush and grind away in her little bowl.

“Would you like to try?” She looked down at the bowl. You flushed realizing she was asking you to help grind up her herbs.

“Oh, sure.” She switched places with you and you began doing exactly what she had done. You crushed them down into tiny little bits and pieces.

“This could be your job one day.” Mo’at eyed you as she added in another handful. Your entire face deepened into a darker shade of blue.

“Oh..I do not know about that. Maybe?” You liked Neteyam a lot, but you two were teenagers still. His selection for a mate was still so far away and he would not become Olo’eyktan for quite some time.

“You like my grandson, no?” For a woman of few words, Mo’at seemed to have a lot to talk about with you.

“Yes, I do. He is a lovely young man.” You weren’t sure, but you thought you saw her grin from the corner of you eye.

“I do not know much about..what does Jakesully say..teenage love, but I know my grandson likes you a lot. He talks and talks about you so much. I know it can be scary stepping into that kind of love, but I usually do not steer wrong when I watch my children fall in love. I was not wrong about Jakesully and my daughter.” Hearing all of this coming from Tsahik meant so much to you. You held a lot of respect for the older Na’vi and now she was sitting beside you giving you advice about relationships like you were one of her own.

“Your hunting and warrior skills matched with your caretaking skills would make a wonderful Tsahik one day if that is what happens.” She squeezed your arm and everything in you felt so warm and comforted. No one had ever said things like that to you before and hearing it from Mo’at made it even more special.

“You are too kind. Thank you.” You flushed for the hundredth time in the last twenty minutes. Mo’at grinned once more.

“I know a kind soul when I see one. Eywa would not have brought you and Neteyam together if she was not wanting you two to be together in that way.” Obviously, Mo’at would know best when it came to Eywa. You smiled, glancing back down at the herbs.

Maybe one day this would be your fate.

—

Neteyam returned from his day-long hunting trip exhausted and ready to collapse into his hammock for a long nap. His mother was there to greet him with a kiss to the cheek and to his surprise, his grandmother was sitting inside eating her bowl of food.

“Hello, grandmother.” He bowed to her and she nodded back.

“Hello, my grandson. How was the trip?” Neteyam shrugged some, dropping his belongings to the ground for now. It was as best as it could be with Lo’ak being his usual self plus an added friend along for the ride.

“It was very informative. Father gave us great tips.” That part was not a lie. Jake always gave his sons great pointers for making their kills.

“That is great, I am very glad. I had a nice visit with your Y/n today.” Neteyam’s eyes widened a bit.

“You did? When?” He suddenly worried his grandmother told her embarrassing things about him or exposed how he would talk about her all the time.

“She stopped by here looking for you, I think, but I was here instead. I offered inside and we had a very nice chat. She is a wonderful young woman.” Neteyam couldn’t help but smile hearing that. You were amazing. He was glad to hear his grandmother liked her as much as he did.

“She would make a very wonderful Tsahik one day. She has nearly every skill necessary without even having much training for the position.” Mo’at eyed her grandson. Neteyam’s entire face flushed, but he also felt a sense of pride. You were great at nearly everything, he wasn’t surprised Mo’at thought that.

“Well, I hope one day it will happen. We are still young and—“

“Tsahik knows everything, son. It will happen.” Neteyam watched his grandmother beam at him widely. He flushed once more and then tried to hide the smirk forming on his lips by looking away.

In his head, he knew you were the one for him, but that was never definite. Hearing his grandmother basically confirm it was enough for him. You were it for him. Through and through.

FIVE.

You hadn’t snuck out during the night in awhile. Neteyam suggested it would be a nice way to get your minds off of things and just be with each other for a bit since your siblings were always interrupting or needing something.

Neteyam swung along the oh so familiar path to the tree he had taken so many times before. Eclipse had just begun and every time he was so amazed at how the forest lit up around him. It made Pandora that much more magical.

Like always, you had beaten him to the spot. Except this time, you weren’t alone. Your ikran was perched a few feet away and you had your riding visor on. Neteyam grew suspicious, but you only grinned at him.

“I thought we could go for a ride. We haven’t flown during Eclipse in so long.” You freckles were glowing and Neteyam could see the large smile on your face and your eagerness to fly.

“I did not bring any of my things and I only have my—“ You cut him off by revealing your hands that were hidden behind your back. You held his riding visor in your hands.

“I knew you would say that, so I planned ahead.” Neteyam could only smile at you. You always thought of everything.

“What if we get attacked or something?” Neteyam was still skeptical. He loved riding at Eclipse with you, but he felt under prepared if anything happened while you two were out.

“Nothing will happen, I promise. If it makes you feel any better, I have my bow. Come on, we have not ridden in so long.” You were tugging at his hand and he couldn’t resist your pleas. He took his visor from your hands and smiled.

“Okay, fine. Let’s do it.” He would do anything to be able to make you smile like you were right now. He called for his ikran while you hopped up on yours.

Once you two were both on, you exchanged a glance. There was a playful smirk on your lips as you pushed your visor down. Neteyam grew curious of the look.

“Last one to Ayram Alusing loses!” And then you were off before Neteyam could even process what you had said.

He quickly took off with you already five paces ahead of him. He had no idea how you gained so much speed already while he struggled to even pick up momentum. The wind blew against his face, making it burn some of his skin that was not protected. It was definitely not working in his favor tonight.

“You are losing, Neteyam!” He heard you call from ahead of him. He growled some and focused all of his energy into catching up to you.

He was finally able to catch up to your side. He smirked over at you.

“Who is losing now?” He teased and pushed ahead ignoring the harsh breeze as best as he could.

The two of you soared through the sky, the Hallelujah Mountains just ahead. Neteyam had the lead, but you were just on his tail, literally. If you reached out, you could probably touch the end of his ikran.

You had a competitive spirit, so there was no way you were letting yourself loose to Neteyam. From his peripheral, he saw you creeping up on him.

“You can not win everything, Y/n!” He called over to you, but there was something in your eye telling him you were definitely not losing this round.

He tried focusing through the bond to get his ikran to pull ahead as the first two mountains came up. However, you blew right past him like magic and crossed the imaginary finish like. Neteyam sighed in defeat as you pumped your arms up and down for another victory.

“I told you I would win. You do not win against me.” The eldest Sully still smiled nonetheless, enjoying seeing you so happy. He would lose a hundred times to you to be able to see you as happy and carefree as you were right now.

“My apologies, I should have known I had no chance.” Neteyam held his hands up in surrender. The little smirk continued to dance on your lips as you took off to keep flying around the mountains.

The boy stuck close to your side, the two of you smiling widely as you weaved in and around the large rock formations. You would occasionally dive over the larger branches hanging out to make it a game.

Neteyam felt like his parents where he knew they still snuck out at later hours of the night to do this. It was so thrilling, yet so relaxing at the same time. The breeze had finally died down and it no longer felt like bullets pelting his skin as he rode.

“You want to rest here? There is an open spot.” You pointed up ahead at a clearing in one of the mountain tops. Neteyam nodded and followed you to the landing.

You jumped off your ikran, taking in your surroundings. The entire area was glowing its bioluminescent glow. Each flora, leaf, tree moss, everything was shining bright acting as the light in the dark night.

“That was easily the best ride I have had in awhile. What about you?” You flipped your visor up and turned to Neteyam. In a swift move, he snaked his arms around your waist to bring you closer.

“That certainly was a great ride, but maybe next time you will lose the race here.” He grinned and earned an eye roll from you.

“In your dreams. You may be future Olo’eyktan, but you can never win against me.” You shook your head and Neteyam only chuckled.

“And you may be future Tsahik one day, so that competitive nature may need to die down a bit.” He smirked and your face flushed. You broke away from his grasp to look up at the blue-purple sky.

“Your grandmother speaks of the same thing.” You smiled, thinking about your time with Mo’at a few weeks ago.

“Is that what you two talked about that one day?” Neteyam questioned, always wondering what his grandmother could possibly be saying to you when he wasn’t around.

“She is a very kind lady. She knows what she is talking about.” You laughed some. Neteyam cringed knowing she definitely embarrassed him during that conversation.

“Did she say anything about me?” He had to ask even if he didn’t want to know.

“Oh, so many things. She loves you.” You found a comfortable spot against one of the trees to stargaze. Neteyam joined you.

“Anything embarrassing?” Your tiny giggle told him all he needed to know. He internally face palmed.

“If I told you, it would ruin the fun.” You grinned and Neteyam knew that Mo’at definitely embarrassed the shit out of him. Wonderful.

“Well, I am serious about your future Tsahik fate. Just think, you and I head of the clan one day. It would be perfect.” Neteyam threw his arm around you and you giggled at the image appearing in your head.

The Sully boy pictured it too. It looked very similar to his mother and father right now. You would still be a warrior while also caring for the people when they needed it. He would wear the large feather chest piece and headpiece his father wore—planning hunting trips, war parties, overseeing the entire clan. The future was so close yet so far. He knew it would be before him soon.

For now though, he wouldn’t worry about that and enjoyed the time he was spending with you by his side. It was enough waking up in the early hours of the morning, spending hours on specific skills, he didn’t need to wish it upon himself right now.

“Well, if it does happen, at least the people seem content with your choice of..me.” You giggled at your wording. Neteyam smiled.

“It is a miracle no one has talked much. I think they know my father will be at their throats considering I am their son if they did say anything about you.”

“I knew it would be fine. You worry too much sometimes, you know.” You poked at his chest, making him squirm away from you.

“I am merely just caring about you. It is not worry.” Neteyam attempted to defend himself, but it was clear he had a weak defense.

“You also worry. Do not be afraid to admit it. It is charming knowing you worry so much.” Another grin came from you.

“Well of course I am going to worry and care. It is who I am.” You pulled him back towards you so he could cuddle into you.

“And I love who you are.” You cradled his head, pulling your hand through his pretty braids.

He almost said it. He almost had the courage to tell you.

Jake taught Neteyam the phrase when he once asked what it meant after hearing him tell it to his mother. Jake explained how it was much more intimate than I see you. It was something the Sky People would tell those they cared deeply for.

Neteyam had been wanting to say it you for ages, but he never thought it was the right time. He didn’t know how you would react. Would you freak out? Would you say it back? Did you love him? He for sure loved you, but he wasn’t sure if you reciprocated his feelings that much. He didn’t want to scare you with such a meaningful phrase. It seemed like the right time, but it also didn’t at the same time.

Instead, he nuzzled his head further into you and breathed you in. He savored the way your hair smelled—somehow it always smelled like fresh flowers. He listed to your heartbeat, nearly putting him to sleep. The moment was taking him over. It was complete bliss and comfort being in your arms.

THE ONE TIME HE SAID IT.

Everything was perfect until it wasn’t.

You planned a cute little picnic in the forest for you and Neteyam. He was dragged out of his hut with instructions to keep his eyes closed or he would ruin the surprise. Your grip on his hand was tight as he was dragged through the forest, occasionally knocking his head against a low hanging branch you forgot to push out of the way.

“Y/n, that was the third branch. Where are we going?” He laughed trying to figure out where he was, but it wasn’t much luck considering he was blindfolded.

“Just be patient. You will love it.” You hoped he would love it. You worked to put it together all day yesterday, so if he didn’t like it you’d be damned.

Trusting you, Neteyam kept accepting hits to the head and scratches to the arm knowing it had to be worth it in the end.

When you two finally arrived at your destination, you pulled the cloth from his eyes. He squinted, not used to the bright light, but when his vision finally leveled out, he was in awe of what he saw.

The little clearing had been decorated with numerous vines that wrapped around each tree branch. Flower petals were scatted along the ground. It looked like something from his dreams.

“Surprise! What do you think? A picnic in the forest.” You held your arms out, excitement bouncing across your face. Neteyam was still speechless at the effort that must’ve been put into all of it.

“You did this all for me?” You nodded, leading him further in.

“Of course I did. I had some help from Kiri and my sisters, but you deserve it after all the work you have been doing.” You turned to him, grinning widely. Neteyam cupped your face trying to find the words to express his gratitude.

“You are the best person ever. Thank you, my love.” He pecked your lips and then went to see what you had packed for your picnic.

You joined him on the blanket Neytiri let you use while Neteyam immediately began eating anything he saw. You laughed at his actions.

“Someone has not eaten yet today?”

“Oh, you have no idea. I have been out since the eclipse ended training with my father.” You grinned, glad you could feed him.

Everything was perfect until it wasn’t.

Since it was a spur the moment surprise, neither of you thought to bring any weapons with you besides the knives you always carried. It was a part of the forest only Na’vi went. There was no possible way danger could lurk around the corner or behind a tree.

“If you could come back as anything you wanted, what what you want to come back as?” Neteyam laid across the blanket staring up at the clear sky. Your head was beside his as you laid the other way. Your stomach’s were full of food and now you were just relaxing in the sun.

“Anything?” That was a hard question. There was so many things you wanted to be.

“Anything.”

“I think I would want to come back as an ikran. They are so beautiful and just imagine being able to go anywhere you wanted basically. Flying through the sky with your rider. It sounds like such a dream.” You adored your rides with your ikran and being one would be a whole other level you would want to experience.

“I think I would want to come back as one of the good scientists like Norm or Dr. Max.” Neteyam’s answer surprised you and even himself. Sky People were evil and even some didn’t fully trust the good scientists who stayed behind, but he wanted to know what it felt like to live as human.

His father told him and his siblings countless stories of his time being apart of the Sky People and it always intrigued Neteyam.

“I know it sounds crazy, but my father told us so many stories as his time as one of them. It just seems so interesting to me.” He continued his reasoning when you didn’t respond.

“I understand it. I think it would be interesting to live as them for a day.” It was strange to Neteyam. Sky People could live like his people whenever they chose to, but he could not live like them. There was no science to make human bodies for Na’vi people who wanted the experience.

He got a lot of exposure from Spider, but it wasn’t really the same. Neteyam wanted to see it, feel it for himself.

“I have just always felt human because of my father’s blood. Even though I do not have the five fingers like Lo’ak and Kiri, I still have half of his blood in me.” Neteyam tore his gaze to his hands. His long, thin fingers that were just like his mother’s and Tuk’s.

His parents liked to say he took on more of Neytiri’s genes while Lo’ak gained Jake’s.

“It is okay to wonder and want to feel it, Neteyam. You are half human, half Na’vi. It is good you are curious.” You reached up to caress his cheek and the boy leaned into your touch.

“It just feels wrong, though. The Sky People are demons. They hurt us. Why do I want to wonder more about them?” In a sense, he also felt guilt. He knew how much his mother despised those people and even sometimes Spider because he was one of them. Why should he want to know more when all they did was hurt people?

“Do not feel guilty for wondering. Your father was them once upon a time,” He grinned at your english phrase you used. Him and Lo’ak were definitely rubbing off on you. “And he is a good human. You can still wonder and want to be like them and still be good. Norm and Max are good Sky People. It is your blood, your ancestors. Do not feel bad for wanting to wonder.” Neteyam liked the reassurance you were giving him. He was worried he sounded crazy or something.

He was about to respond when his ears twitched for a second and he suddenly got a random chill across his arms. A faint rustling noise floated into his ears. He quickly sat up.

Normally, he wouldn’t have been so alarmed, but the way his skin started to crawl told him it wasn’t some animal lurking.

“Neteyam? What is wrong?” You sat up seeing his quick change in demeanor.

“Shh, be quiet for a second.” He held his finger to his lips. His eyes bounced around the area you two were in and he grabbed for his knife.

The rustling noise continued and it got closer to where you guys were. Neteyam grabbed your arm, making you stand up with him. His actions were frightening you because you didn’t know what was going on.

“Someone else is here.” He whispered to you. He felt his heart beating a bruise into his chest at the idea of someone else lurking close by.

Everything was perfect until it wasn’t.

A noise and then an arrow was flying just above your heads. You screamed out of instinct and fear. Neteyam’s hand was back on you about to hide behind a tree. When he spun around, two larger hands with a much stronger grip grabbed ahold of the two of you.

You screamed again. Neteyam hit them with his knife causing a minor distraction. He spun away from the prying hands, until four more people emerged from the bushes, large guns in their hands. He suddenly stopped, knowing he couldn’t take them with just a knife.

“Well, look at what we have here. Looks like we crashed someone’s date.” Neteyam knew it wasn’t a true Na’vi by the way they wore full clothes and spoke in english to him. It was Avatars.

The one, tall with a buzz cut haircut, crouched down to be at his eye level. Neteyam hissed at him as he scanned his entire face with his eyes. He held his knife out for defense.

“I heard you talking a few moments ago. You said your father was from the..Sky People. Your father doesn’t happen to be Jake Sully, does it?” With the English Neteyam did understand, he knew this guy was bad and clearly had his dad on his radar.

“Oe rä’ä tslam nga.” (I do not understand you) Neteyam growled out. The avatar looked at him, quirking his eyebrow and exchanging a glance with his accomplices with him.

You continued to struggle in the hands that held a tight grip on you.

“If you tell me where your father is, I’ll let her go.” He nodded towards you. Neteyam only hissed at him once more, knife high, ready to strike.

“Or we can do this the hard way, it’s up to you. You are definitely your father.” The avatar man grabbed Neteyam’s hand. He examined his fingers, raising his eyebrow once more.

“Sure didn’t get his genes though, that’s for sure.” The others snickered around them. Neteyam pulled his hand back, unsure of what to do. If he went for a hit, they wound shoot and he didn’t want that to happen.

His eyes gazed over at you. You met his gaze, the same unsureness resting in your look. If you were scared, Neteyam couldn’t tell because you hid it well.

He couldn’t call in his dad because that would just lead this guy right to him. He was out of any good options.

Everything was perfect until it wasn’t.

“All you have to do is tell me where your dad is and no one will get hurt.” Neteyam thought of an idea.

He slowly raised his hands in means of surrender. The guy looked at him, curious. Neteyam set his knife down by his feet and then slowly moved his hands to where his transmitter sat on his neck.

He pushed into the buttons and began speaking in Na’vi since these guys clearly didn’t understand it as well as he could speak it.

(Let’s pretend this is Na’vi because I can’t translate the entire conversation 😌)

“Dad, we’re under attack, I need help.” Neteyam glanced warily at the man standing before him who watched his moves carefully.

“Neteyam? Where are you?” His dad came into his ear, urgent and worried.

“In the forest where the open clearing is. Avatar men with guns. We’re surrounded.”

“We? Who is we?”

“Y/n and I. We need your help.” The guy wasn’t exactly picking up on what Neteyam was saying which was good. His plan was working so far.

“Okay, we’re on our way.” And then he was out. Neteyam knew two things after that: one, his father was a much better fighter than these guys were. He was Na’vi, he had years and years to adapt. He could take these guys out easily. Two, his dad wasn’t going to give himself up to this guy and if they could defeat him, it wouldn’t even be in the question.

“He is coming now.” Neteyam spoke in english so the guy understood. He quirked his eyebrow once more, almost surprised.

“Well, that was easier than I thought it would be.” The others chucked around them. Behind his back, Neteyam made a small hand signal to you that he hoped you would understand.

Suddenly, there was a screech. You had bitten the arm that was holding you. Neteyam used that distraction to grab his knife from the ground. He went for the guy’s leg.

You wrestled out of the grasp. The others went for you, but being the skilled warrior you were, it was easy to take them out. You swung your leg around, taking one out with your foot.

Neteyam slashed the leg of the guy and went for his gun. His father had taught him and Lo’ak how to use one, so he knew exactly where to go to blow the amo out of it.

He used his knife to slash another one’s arm. It was pure chaos. Blood sputtered every which direction and the others were trying to fire their guns at you two. You were quicker than them, though. You knocked them from their hands and kicked their legs out.

One particular cut Neteyam made went across the entire face of one of the avatars.

“Quaritch, we need to fall back. We can’t take this many losses right now.” One of them urgently spoke to the one Neteyam slashed the leg of.

“I need Jake Sully. I am not leaving without him.” He argued bitterly.

“We’ll come back when we’re better prepared! At least we know they’re close by.” He seemed to finally give in. He called something Neteyam didn’t understand and all of his accomplices began retreating back into the forest where they had come from.

Relief flooded through Neteyam. They were leaving and the both of you were still safe. However, his relief didn’t last for very long.

Everything was perfect until it wasn’t.

He turned to you, a smile spread across his lips until he saw the way you clutched your stomach. Your hands were trembling as they slowly revealed what was happening. Your knife handle was sticking out and blood was dripping from your skin.

There wasn’t a smile on his face anymore. His relief disappeared and was quickly replaced by fear.

“Neteyam..” You sputtered, swaying on your feet. He was quick to catch you before you hit the ground.

“No, no, no, no, Y/n. It’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay. Look at me. Look at me. You’re okay.” He was sputtering, clutching your arm and staring at the way your knife was lodged into your stomach.

“Why am I so warm? Is it warm?” Your entire face was losing color by the second. Neteyam, even though he tried not to show it for your sake, was panicking.

“You’re fine. It’s going to be fine. You’re going to be fine. Help is coming. They’re coming to help us.” He knew better than to pull the knife out, but you were practically pouring blood everywhere.

“Am I dying? Is this what it feels like to die?” The blood loss was making you go into shock. Neteyam was cradling your head, trying to stay calm for you and himself.

“No, you are not dying, my love. You are going to be okay. You are not going to die. I will not let you die.” If he had his bow and arrow, maybe he would’ve been able to take down those other guys easier. If he had a better weapon, anything other than a knife then maybe this wouldn’t have happened.

You were not dying.

Your breathing started becoming rigid. It was broken into heavy pants and you were sputtering again.

“If-if I don’t..If I don’t make it..Can you-will you take care of them for me?” Your siblings. Neteyam visibly shut his eyes for a moment. How would he explain this to Foana? Who would take care of them if you..no you were not dying.

“Do not say that. You are going to take care of them because you are going to live. My dad is coming. Everything is going to be okay.” It was mostly just so Neteyam would believe himself too. Everything was going to be okay.

His ears twitched and perked up when he heard sounds of ikrans coming. His father’s ikran came into view along with his mother’s. They landed and then rushed to where you two were.

“Dad! Someone put her knife into her. She..she is losing so much blood.” Neteyam’s voice broke that time. He couldn’t hold it back any longer.

“Shit, shit.” Neteyam watched as his dad gently flipped you to your side. Luckily, there was no exit wound, but the blood kept coming.

“I-I do not feel very good. I-I-“ You were heaving at this point. Your eyes were glazing over and your entire skin had gone from a deep blue to an entirely lighter shade.

“Y/n, you need to stay with me. Please, please stay with me.” Neteyam cupped your face, trying to keep your eye contact with him.

“We need to get her to the village. To Max and Norm and Mo’at.” Neytiri had a look of pure horror on her face seeing you like that.

Your eyes couldn’t stay open much longer. The blood loss was becoming fatal. Neteyam began shaking you when he saw your eyelids drift closed.

“Y/n! Y/n!” He was in too much of a panic to even check if you were breathing or not still. He could not lose you. Not now.

“We need to get her to the village, right now. Neteyam! Are you with me?” His father was practically yelling at this point. However, his eldest son fell into what was his own shock.

He did not and could not move seeing your almost lifeless body in front of him. He didn’t process it as his dad lifted you up to his ikran. His mother had to pull him to his feet, trying to snap him back into attention. Nothing worked, though.

All he could think about was you. You, you, you. You were in love. His future woman. His future mate. You were the sister to his siblings. The sister to your siblings. You were their care taker. Who would..who would take care of them now?

He should’ve told you. He should’ve told you the other night on your night ride. It was so close on the tip of his tongue. Why couldn’t he find the courage to tell you then? What if he never got to tell you ever now?

Your body became so lifeless in his arms. Pale skin, gone eyes, blood nearly everywhere. This couldn’t be the end. There was so much life ahead for the two of you. Your future plans. He couldn’t possibly do it all without you.

His mother somehow managed to get him onto her ikran. She flew quickly through the sky after her husband who clutched your body tightly.

When they landed, you were rushed directly to Max and Norm. Mo’at was brought in to give you a heavy sedation medicine so they could pull the knife out without damaging anything serious. It was near chaos. No one but Mo’at was allowed where they were inside the labs.

Neteyam chewed on his bottom lip. Guilt, fear, anger, sadness, everything at once was eating him up inside. He figured he should be the one to tell your siblings what happened, so he did.

Their faces were enough for him to finally break down right in front of them. It should’ve been me. It should’ve been me. It should’ve been me. The phrase repeated in his head like a broken record.

All five of them sat on the ground of your hut hugging one another close. For a moment he hated your parents for not being here in this moment. They had no idea what was happening to their daughter right now.

Neytiri offered their hut to your siblings without hesitation to stay in.

Hours were ticking by it stated to feel like days to Neteyam. There was no word on the progress or your condition. It was merely a waiting game at this point. The knife was lodged deep and you lost a lot of blood.

Everything was perfect until it wasn’t.

Mo’at finally emerged after what seemed like almost six hours where a large group had gathered outside of the lab doors—Neteyam and his family included. All of them deeply concerned about your well-being.

“The knife has been removed. She is stable, but she is sleeping still and will be for a few days.” A tiny bit of relief washed through Neteyam knowing the operation was at least successful.

—

The days went by and you had finally awoken. Once visitors were allowed, your siblings were the first to check on you, of course. Neteyam hung back, a bit anxious and nervous to see you again.

He felt so guilty for what happened. He could not protect you after saying countless times that he would at any given moment. His failure caused him to hang his head low and avoid looking people’s way when he went out.

Kiri, Tuk, and Lo’ak were the next group of visitors. Neteyam still hung back. Maybe it was fear that was holding him back?

Could he possibly look you in the eye again after seeing you with a knife lodged into you? Not really. His fear made him feel upset in a sense. Why could he not face you? You were his love, yet he could not find himself to step foot into the lab.

A few more days passed and eventually the doctors and Mo’at agreed to move you back into your hut for more comfort. Neteyam avoided the entire village that day, in fear that he would see you.

What was wrong with him? One minute he could not stop seeing you and now he was afraid to even make eye contact with you.

It made him feel even more guilty.

One night, he sat outside by one of the drop-off spots. His head pounded and every single thought he ever had was swirling around like a school of fish.

He didn’t feel another presence until he caught sight of his mother sitting down beside him. She had began recognizing his absent behaviors and his avoidant gazes anytime he was around people. She knew how hard this was on her son.

“Have you seen her at all?” She crafted her words gently. Neteyam shook his head.

“I cannot. It pains me and the guilt is eating me alive.” He grabbed his chest like something was actually messing with him in there.

“Well, she is asking for you. She is confused why you have not seen her yet. You should go see her, Neteyam.”

“I can not. Every time I look at her I remember the horrid images of the knife deep in her stomach as the blood seeped through. It was the worst part of everything. I promised her protection and I can not even do that anymore.” He wanted his mother to understand, but he knew she wound not. Not completely, at least.

“Neteyam, this is not your blame. You did everything you could and no one is blaming you. I promise you, son.” Her arm outstretched to bring comfort to her son. She rubbed his back, trying to get him to understand.

“Then why do I feel so, so guilty like it is my fault?” He pleaded for an answer. His mother tried to come up with as best of an answer as she could.

“When you care for someone as deeply as you do, whatever happens to them begins to feel like it is your fault. It is not your fault, though. You take the blame because you think there is no where else to place it. My son, you did everything you could. No one is upset at you or mad or angry. Y/n is not upset with you. Do not think that.” Neteyam’s head hung low.

“I think it will fix a lot of things if you go see her. You will begin to realize this was none of your doing or fault.” Neytiri urged once more and Neteyam knew he couldn’t keep refusing. He had to be mature. He was almost Olo’eyktan and he couldn’t even face his own injured (almost) mate.

“Okay. I will go see her.” Neytiri smiled, giving her son a nod of encouragement.

The Sully boy stood and turned in the direction of your hut. He started bracing himself—for insults? Anger? Sadness? Frustration?

The closer he got to you, the faster his heart would beat against his chest. From inside, he could hear your siblings talking and at times arguing with one another.

He tapped on the wood before pushing aside the flap that covered the inside. Tsanten and Naria looked his way.

“Neteyam! You’re here!” Foana was at his legs, hugging him much like Tuk did. He smiled down at the little girl.

“Hello, Foana. Tsanten. Naria. Ni`awtu.” He bowed before them. Their looks told him they had never been greeted that way before.

In the corner, Neteyam caught sight of your figure. You were sitting upright carving something when you finally noticed his presence in your home.

“Neteyam, hello. Come in, come in.” You urged him in further. He slowly went to you and your siblings filtered themselves out knowing you two probably needed some space.

“You look so much better. How are you feeling?” He questioned taking in your skin that returned to its usual blue shade. You smiled some.

“I am definitely feeling a lot better. How are you?” You took ahold of his hands. The questioned seemed silly to him considering he wasn’t the one who got stabbed.

“I am doing okay. I am not the one who got stabbed, though.” He stifled a small laugh. You rubbed at his fingers and he was just glad to be able to feel your hands in his again, not the lifeless feeling they once were.

“Well, I have not seen you yet, so I was making sure you were okay.” Neteyam grimaced just a bit. He felt guilty for not visiting you sooner, but he just couldn’t bring himself to face you in the state that you were in.

“Yes, I am okay. I am sorry I did not visit you sooner. I..I just felt guilty about all of this and I was being selfish with myself.” His head hung low, ears dropping. You grabbed his chin though, shaking your head.

“There is nothing to feel guilty about, Neteyam. You did everything you could. Eywa gave me life again because she knew my time was not over yet. This was not your fault.” Your words were reassuring. He forced a small smile.

“Plus, you forget how strong I am. I have thick skin. Literally.” You laughed this time. The joke was corny, but it made both of you smile.

You allowed yourself to pull Neteyam closer and he situated himself so his head laid in your lap. He closed his eyes at the feeling of your fingers raking through his braids. It was a familiar feeling he had grown to miss while you were recovering.

“Hey, Y/n?” You turned your attention to the boy in your lap.

“Yeah?”

“I love you.” Neteyam’s heart was pounding, nervous for your reaction. He wasn’t sure if that was an Earth phrase you knew or understood, but he hoped it was.

A tiny smile danced on your lips. You caressed his cheek, leaning down to kiss it.

“I love you.”

The rest of the evening was spent wrapped in each other’s arms.

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hockeylovee12 · 4 months

Text

Anyone But Him

Prologue-Discontinued Version

Jack Hughes/Original Character

Summary: The day Luke Hughes has been waiting years for finally arrives-Draft Day, little does he know this day will bring a new beginning for more than just him.

WARNINGS: Underage Drinking, mentions of death of a parent

A/N: I'm gonna be so honest I'm not sure if this classifies as a prologue because I couldn't give you the definition of one, but I had already planned out all my chapters when I decided to add this so now it's called a prologue. I have posted previous versions of a story entitled Anyone But Him on this tumblr but I have spent the last few months deciding I want to rewrite it. The previous versions will not be deleted but I will not be continuing them either. Starting from this chapter will be the series I will be writing from. Also I’m aware Luke was drafted in July not June because of Covid but for this story Covid did not happen, but the draft was still switched to a remote version due to something else. This is also posted on AO3 and I hope you enjoy it!

June 20th, 2021, Draft Day

The walls surrounding the spacious living room in Canton, Michigan owned by Ellen and Jim Hughes, appear to vibrate with a mixture of excitement and anticipation as a large crowd of familiar faces gather inside the space, their voices laced with emotion as they eagerly whisper predictions and hopes for the upcoming moment.

Along the edges of the room, a camera crew stands silently, capturing this important moment. Their lenses remain focused on the nervous faces, surrounding the large television.

At the center of attention, 17-year-old Luke Hughes sits rigidly on the edge of his seat, his navy blue suit stretching across his broad shoulders and tall frame.

As he watches the numbers on the television continue to descend, counting down to the next draft pick, his heart relentlessly thumps against his ribcage and his fingers begin to tremble uncontrollably, betraying his conscious efforts at appearing calm.

To the right of him, his oldest brother Quinn-the one he’s idolized for years-sits his posture impeccable as his fingers move his dark brown hair away from his face. Quinn silently offers a nod, a small gesture of reassurance, in an attempt to ease his youngest brother's nerves.

On the other side of Luke, his brother Jack, remains calm and collected, his body leaning comfortably against the back of the couch, as he allows a playful grin to curl at the corner of his mouth as if to say “Been there, Done that”

They’ve been through this before, not in this exact space, but the same anticipation, same nervousness, of waiting to hear your name called, to find out if all the work, all the late-night practices, all the hours you spent watching the same plays over and over again, if all of it was enough to make it to the NHL.

Quinn had endured this waiting game in 2018, as the Canucks 7th overall pick, and Jack-who had a much shorter waiting period being first overall- felt the same nerves, up until the moment the New Jersey Devils announced his name, and now it’s Luke’s turn.

The waiting is almost suffocating as the numbers continue winding down. The fourth pick would be chosen soon, a pick held by the Devils.

Luke turns his head to the space next to Quinn, where the gorgeous girl with light brown hair and a flowy blue dress, is perched on the edge of her seat, her blue eyes glued to the screen with unwavering focus and concentration. His gaze lingers there for a moment longer, his heart fluttering with a feeling he can’t quite name yet. It’s the same girl who knows nearly everything about him, the one who’s shown up to every single one of his games for the past five years, the one who’s spent more nights in his bed than he could count, the one who sees him as as more than just a friend, the one that sees him as a brother. It’s Sadie, his best friend.

His eyes flutter to the conjoining side of the couch where his mother Ellen and grandmother Penny are seated, their hands clasped tightly together and their eyes beaming with a mixture of pride and anxiety.

On the other side of Jack, Jim, their father, and his younger brother Marty, share a tense posture from two armchairs, strategically placed next to the couch, their shoulders stiff with anticipation.

The coffee table in front of Luke is adorned with an array of hats each proudly representing a different NHL team. Luke nervously fiddles with his tie, his fingers itching to pick one up, to claim it as his own, to write his own future. But Not yet, Not until his name is called.

Luke stares at the hats, their colors blurring as his thoughts race. This moment was more than just a personal milestone, this was his whole life, everything he has worked for since he was two years old, everything his family has worked for, his coaches, his teammates, every game, every win, every loss, all of it has led to this moment. His moment.

The final seconds on the screen wind down, and the crowded room falls into a hushed silence, every eye trained on the screen as Tom Fitzgerald, the General Manager for the New Jersey Devils, approaches the podium.

Luke feels an invisible sting tugging at his spine, pulling him upright, and every muscle in his body begins to coil, prepapering to spring or recoil-whichever fate decides. The pulse in his throat hums, a silent prayer escaping through his clenched teeth, while the rest of the room, a mirror of anticipation, holds its breath.

“With the fourth overall pick the New Jersey Devils are proud to select…from the USA National Development Program…Luke Hughes”

The words hang in the air suspended for a moment, before reality sets in and the room erupts into chaos, a mixture of cheers and applause filling the room.

Jack, unable to contain his excitement after learning his baby brother was drafted by his team, practically tackles Luke in a bear hug, his joy contagious, as Quinn wraps both his brothers in a tight hug, congratulating Luke.

Sadie stands beside him, her own smile beaming with pride and joy “The Devils!” she exclaims with a joyful laugh, as Luke turns to hug her tightly.

Deafening cheers continue to erupt as Luke’s arms squeeze tightly around each member of his family.

The TV in the background buzzes with commentary from the draft analysis. Their voices blend together with excitement “...and there you have it folks, Luke Hughes, will be joining his brother Jack in the NHL, what an incredible moment for the Hughes family…”

Luke’s eyes briefly flicker to the screen as one commentator adds, “...and let’s not forget, Luke is already committed to the University of Michigan, like his brother Quinn. What a powerhouse program they’re building there. He’s going to make quite the impact in the NCAA before he takes the ice in the NHL.”

He turns his eyes back towards Sadie, a mixture of excitement rising inside him, at the reminder, he gets to go to his dream school, with his best friend. He watches Sadie tightly embrace his mom, tears of joy streaming down both their faces, as Jack reaches down to pick up a red hat with the iconic Devils logo, and hands it to Luke, who places it on his head. He made it.

***

About an hour later the initial excitement and shock had begun to dispute, Luke had finally finished the whirlwind of interviews he found himself in, and he’s able to join the lively party taking place in the backyard courtesy of his parents.

As he steps outside he’s met with a mixture of chaos and excitement. The nearly 70 people that were previously crowding inside the living room, had all spilled out into the backyard.

The scent of fresh pizza mingled with the tang of barbecue sauce-an elite combination-accompanied by laughter, chatter and loud music coming from the speakers, fill the outside air.

Luke maneuvers his way through the crowd of people, exchanging hugs, and fist bumps with friends and family, until he arrives at the barbecue area where a group of his friends are standing.

He grabs a paper plate from a nearby stack and selects a piece of pepperoni pizza, before standing to the side of the group and listening in, a tap on his shoulder pulls him from his thoughts.

He turns around to see Sadie standing there with a smile plastered across her face.

“Congratulations!” Sadie exclaims, pulling him into a tight hug.

Luke lets his arms rest around her small waist for a moment longer, the feeling of his heart fluttering returning.

“Thanks Sades,” Luke replies grinning from ear to ear “I couldn’t have done it without you”

Sadie playfully rolls her eyes before replying with a smirk “Oh please, you would’ve made it either way”

Luke shares a similar smirk before countering “Nuh uh I think showing up to my games was crucial to my success. Kinda like having my own personal cheerleader”

Sadie laughs and narrows her eyes in his direction, delivering a playful threat “Watch it Lukey, You know I’ll push you into pool if I need too”

The two exchange a look, a look only readable by them as a result of several years of friendship.

The moment is interrupted by one of their friends Michael, a friend from high school, inviting them into the lively debate over the ultimate question of which pizza topping reigns supreme “Luke, Sadie help us settle this, which is better pepperoni or sausage?”

“Definitely pepperoni” Luke declares with no hesitation

Michael shakes his head in disagreement, before continuing the conversation “None of you have taste buds!” he claims.

A wave of laughter washes over the group, when Luke hears a voice call his name “Hey Hughes!”

He turns around to see his close friend Chase effortlessly weaving his way through the crowd to reach him.

Luke takes a few steps closer to Chase, slightly distancing himself from the group. “Chase, hey man” Luke greets with a casual nod

With a mischievous glint in his eye, Chase leans in closer to Luke and directs his gaze towards Sadie, “Alright spill it,” Chase begins lowering his voice despite the noise around them “Have you talked to Sadie yet?”

Luke Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows hard, his gaze instinctively seeking out the girl in question, who was now energetically tossing her hands up, defending her love for pineapple on pizza.

“Yeah, I’ve…talked to her” Luke sheepishly responds. It’s not entirely a lie-he did talk to her about the draft-but that’s not what Chase was asking.

“You know what I mean, about how you feel?” Chase presses his simple question speaking volumes to the complex feelings that stirred within him.

Chase was one of the few people that knew how Luke felt about Sadie, beyond their platonic relationship, and he only found out after their senior prom prior, when Luke had planned on taking Sadie, as friends-at least that’s what he told her-but their plans fell short, when another guy asked Sadie, leaving Luke somewhat heartbroken, although he wasn’t quiet sure why. Chase on the other hand, quickly put the pieces together, and has been trying to offer encouragement ever since.

“No” Luke confesses, tugging at the collar of his shirt, suddenly feeling suffocated by the formality of it. “I haven’t said anything, we’ll both be at Michigan come fall and I just I just don’t wanna mess up a good thing you know”

Luke was more than happy to use the excuse of Michigan to end this conversation, because it was true, Luke didn’t need to worry about it now, They still have at least two years ahead of them, it was plenty of time for him to figure out his feelings.

Chase claps him on the shoulder, a gesture heavy with unvoiced understanding “Well I guess you got time, just don’t wait too long for someone else to swoop her up, cus she’s a catch” he says a hint of encouragement and teasing threading through his tone “And hey now that you’re a first-round NHL pick, anythings possible right”

“Right,” Luke repeats, reassured by the simplicity in Chase’s logic. Anything is possible, including finally telling Sadie about the way his heart speeds up whenever she’s around or how he wishes more than anything he could lean over and kiss her.

But not today. Today is a day for celebration. The other stuff well that can wait.

***

The evening sky continues to paint a canvas of deep blues and purples as laughter mingles with the fading daylight. Luke’s hand is still tingling from the countless handshakes and high fives he’s given through the night, when Jack’s teasing voice cuts through the noise.

“Hey Moosey, come here” Jack beckons flashing a mischievous grin, well this ought be fun, Luke thinks as he walks closer toward his brother, and now future teammate.

Quinn appears beside Jack, nodding in agreement, a silent partner in whatever scheme Jack has planned.

Quinn wraps an arm around Luke’s shoulder and steers him through the crowd towards a more secluded area.

Once their feet are planted in an area, out of sight from the majority of the guests, Quinn being the only one of the three who could legally drink, reaches behind a plant, and pulls out three bottles of beer, which he had snuck from the drink station a few minutes prior.

Jack and Luke exchange a look-the kind shared by siblings who knew all too well the tale of bending a few rules.

“Seriously” Luke raises an eyebrow glancing at Quinn.

Despite prior accusations, typically coming from their mom or dad, Quinn was not accustomed to sneaking alcohol for his youngest brother, seeing as how Quinn still sees him as the baby of the family.

Jack on the other hand, had no issues, flashing a compelling smile, towards the pretty girl, who works weekends at a nearby liquor store, in exchange for her ‘forgetting’ to check his ID, allowing Jack to successfully buy a bottle or two for his younger brother.

“Only because it’s your night,” Quinn says, the corners of his mouth twitching with suppressed amusement.

Jack checks over his shoulder before passing one bottle to Luke “Don’t worry, I’ll take the fall if mom catches us” Jack assures knowing Ellen and Jim would not be too pleased to find Quinn drinking, let alone all three of them, especially considering the legality of it.

Luke wraps his fingers around the cold bottle, and pops the cap off, a fizzing sound erupting.

“Consider this like a rite of passage” Jack says his voice low but warm, as he raises his bottle towards the middle of the three brothers, a clicking sound occurring as Luke and Quinn do the same.

Luke brings the beer to his lips, the taste of bitterness and roasted barley trickling on his taste buds.

“Thanks guys” Luke murmurs, receiving a nod in response.

The backyard behind them, echos with music, but in their bubble it’s just the three of them.

After a few more sips, private words and laughs are exchanged, Luke rejoins the party, weaving through the backyard.

***

Two hours pass by, and the party begins to slowly disperse. Luke navigates his way through the thinning crowd of people, his mind seeking a moment of solitude as the noise and energy surrounding him starts to blur.

“Luke! A photo?”

“Congrats again man!”

“Can’t wait to see you play”

The voices bounce around him, well-meaning but overwhelming. Finally he reaches the sliding doors leading to the kitchen, and slips inside to the quiet, deserted space.

Luke, stands alone, leaning against the cool countertops, closing his eyes as he lets out a measure breath. His only company the hum of the refrigerator and his thoughts.

The events throughout the night play like a movie inside his head, leading to the return of Chase’s question. Sadie’s image flickers behind his closed eyelids, and a smile tugs at his lips as he imagines the possibility of a future with Sadie, a future where they’re more than just friends.

The soft padding of footsteps interrupt his thoughts as he opens his eyes to find Sadie, walking towards him, her dress swaying gently as she moves.

“Hey” She says, her voice a calm achor in the sea of festivities

“Hey Luke replies, the previous tension in his shoulders easing just a touch “Crazy out there huh”

“Yeah, you’re family knows how to throw a party” she agrees, her gaze lingering on him with a platonic concern “You holding up ok?”

“Ya just needed a breather” Luke responds with a smile

“Me too” Sadie chuckles before leaning against the counter next to him.

“It looks like things are starting to wind down a bit” Sadie gestures with a nod towards the now less crowded backyard.

“Yeah” Luke agrees his eyes fixated on her “Want to crash here tonight?” Luke offers the same way he’s done so, many times before

Sadie hesitates, her eyes wandering around the kitchen. Her lips part, ready to speak, “I don’t think I can, I came with my dad” Sadie tells him

“Gotcha” Luke nods, understanding flashing in his eyes. A figure appears near the entrance of the kitchen. It’s Sadie’s dad, David.

Sadie and Luke move closer together, Sadie’s arm momentarily brushing against Luke’s as Sadie’s father approaches them.

“Great party, Luke and congratulations again,” David says, offering a firm handshake, that Luke returns.

“Thank you for coming Mr. Howe” Luke replies his tone genuine

The three engage in some polite small talk, the conversation light and familiar, as David is a good friend of Luke’s parents.

“How are things going at the station?” Luke asks

“They’re going well, although we have had some crazy calls about teenagers getting into some trouble, I hope you two are staying safe?” He replies

“Of course Dad” Sadie answers

As the conversation continues, several people make their way through the living room, making their departure from the party.

“I think we should head home, Sadie” David says glancing between his daughter and her best friend

“Right” Sadie agrees, a small speckle of reluctance shown in her posture.

“I’ll see you soon Sades” Luke says, his voice tingling with a hint of sadness, as the three make their way towards the entry of the home.

“Definitely” Sadie promises her smile bittersweet as she follows her dad out the door.

Luke returns to the kitchen, the house feeling slightly emptier. He stares at the space Sadie, previously occupied, and exhales slowly. He has time.

***

Sadie enters her house the sound of the closing door, echoing softly behind her. She climbs the stairs, each step deliberate. Finally reaching the top she makes her way to her room, flicking te lights on, and quietly closing the door behind her.

She begins stripping off the baby blue dress and heels, that have been torturing her feet for the last several hours, and replaces them with a pair of comfy sweatpants, an oversized sweatshirt and her fluffy blue slippers.

She stands in front of her mirror, removing each piece of jewelry, from the dainty earrings to the statement bracelet with a large S and the multiple rings. The only exception being her gold necklace with a delicate chain and a pendant bearing the words ‘one in a million’ a precious gift from her late mother, that she never takes off.

She moves towards her desk to put her jewlery away, carefully placing each piece back in their designated spots, when a large white envelope catches her eye.

It’s addressed to her, from Rutgers University.

A school she has dreamed of attending since she was a little girl, her mothers school.

Sadie’s fingers tremble as she reaches down to pick up the envelope. A few weeks ago, she applied on a whim to the school, never thinking she would actually get in.

She moves to her bed, taking a seat on the edge and taking a deep breath, before tearing open the seal and eagerly pulling the contents out.

She scans through the words on the paper. “I got in” she whispers

“I GOT IN!” she repeats her voice raising loud enough to be heard through her closed door

“Sadie?” her dad asks the door still shut

Sadie practically leaps off her bed, the letter clutched tightly to her chest as she opens the door.

“Dad I got in! I got into Rutgers!” She exclaims, practically shoving the papers into her dads face.

Her dad softly removes the papers from her hand, reading through each word.

“You got in! Sadie I’m so proud of you” Her dad announces his tone genuine, as he wraps his daughter in a hug.

A surge of accomplishment floods through her body, mixed with a pang of sadness. She had always dreamed of going to this college, but now all she could think about was how much her mom would have loved to see this moment.

“Sades?” Her dad asks his voice ringing with parental concern

“Ya sorry” She replies, shaking her head slightly

“How about I make us ice cream sundaes to celebrate?” Her dad suggests a beloved tradition made up by the two a few years back.

“Ya that sounds good, I’ll be there in a second” Sadie says watching as her dad walks out of her room.

Sadie takes a seat on her bed, unable to shake the feeling that something else is missing. Sadie's gaze falls to the photos displayed on her nightstand. The one of her mom and the one of Luke and her side by side. staring at her nightstand, the picture of her mom.

That’s when it hits her-Luke thinks they’re going to Michigan together.

A/N: I hope you enjoyed! Feel free to send me any comments or feedback! Updates will be rather slow because I have a lot of school work but the first chapter should be coming soon.

#luke hughes #nj devils #jack hughes #hughes brothers #original story #original character #original fiction #ANYONE BUT HIM

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accirax · 1 year

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Eden’s Garden Mastermind Theory Ranking (Least to Most)

Greetings, Eden’s Garden fandom, and happy... uh... two days past the three month anniversary of the prologue release! I know I’m really late to the punch on this, but after thinking it over for a while I have ranked every student in Project: Eden’s Garden based on how likely I think it is that they are the mastermind. Also, I drew them all, because their designs are really cool. So, without further ado:

#16: Grace Madison

Out of all of the characters, I think Grace would be the most bewildering mastermind. This is the girl who screamed “get me out of here” so much that she got shocked, clubbed Tozu until he was writhing on the floor, and nearly got executed for it! She’s been shown to be violent, but not in a particularly manipulative or intellectual way. Yes, you could argue that all of that was an act, but she’s been shown as so honest and blunt that it makes me doubt whether she could really pull that off. I personally believe that Grace may make a deep run in this game (even to the point of being a survivor), but I can’t think of any particularly compelling reasons as to why Grace would be the mastermind.

#15: Jean DeLamer

So… it’s the pirate guy. No, a ship captain! Either way, I think Jean would be a pretty strange mastermind. To me, it feels like a mastermind Jean would have to lean into the sea aesthetic somehow, and given the locale and theming of Eden’s Garden Academy, I can’t see how that would tie in. The way that Jean portrays it, Ultimate Ship Captain is a title built on bringing people together. So, the writers would have a lot of work to do to justify him being someone who would lead his friends to tear each other apart. Overall, this seems pretty unlikely to me.

#14: Damon Maitsu

And here he is, our protagonist boy! While the protagonist being the mastermind certainly isn’t a foreign concept, I personally don’t think it’s what the Eden’s Garden writers were going for here. Protagonists secretly on the evil team, such as Hajime, are typically missing a lot of memories, and Damon doesn’t seem to be missing any more than the average student. It would certainly be bold to have Damon be an active and aware mastermind under the players’ noses for the entire game, but based on how difficult Kodaka has said it was to write just a single case in which the protagonist was a killer, I find it dubious that this is a realistic possibility. Personally, I also didn’t see any thoughts, actions, or dialogue of Damon’s that would indicate that this was the case. If something weird was going to happen to prevent Damon from being the long-term protagonist, I think it would more likely be a shockingly early death as either a victim or killer. However, I think that Damon has a great character arc set up before him, and that he’ll probably survive to the end as our innocent protagonist and POV character.

#13: Jett Dawson

Jett is pretty similar to Jean in that they’re both big, sociable guys with a seemingly killing-game-irrelevant talent. Because of that, it might seem strange that I put Jett above Jean, considering that he’s even sillier and dumber than Jean. However, I think that because of that, it would be more fun for him to have an eleventh hour heel turn and become the mastermind. I also think that him being sillier would allow him to better blend in as a simple comic relief character and believable survivor nearing the end game. And, of course, he’s wearing that mask, the taking off of which could be a fun twist in Trial 6. Despite all of this, however… he’s still 13th overall. And that’s because, overall, I still think it’s pretty implausible for our goofy, Scooby Doo-impersonating Jett to be the mastermind.

#12: Mark Berskii

I’m pretty indifferent on the concept of mastermind Mark overall. His alligator imagery is questionable, given his apparent personality; and having a tech-related talent could be helpful in creating a killing game, somehow…? But, he also seems pretty soft spoken and anxious during introductions, and more of a sarcastic straight man in the Class Trial, neither of which scream “mastermind” to me. Really, the most suspicious thing about him is that Damon specifically points out that Mark is staring at him on the train, and that Mark was sitting in the back of the train near the sleeping gas bag. Currently, I don’t really have anything that can argue him better or worse than 12th place.

#11: Eloise Taulner

Given how much Eloise has already demonstrated how much she cares about her family, I find it hard to believe that she would put herself in danger by placing herself in a killing game. But, on the other hand, maybe her family is her reason for starting the killing game in some twisted way, and her loyalty to them could explain her actions…? I can’t deny that it would be fun to see such a shy and sweet character flip in the final Class Trial to reveal her masterminding ways– sort of reminiscent of Mikan’s character flip, though hopefully on a more solid foundation. Fencing is also a violent talent, one that Eloise specifically pointed out is a calculated mental game more than a physical sport. However, I’m a pretty strong believer in early killer Eloise, so personally, I don’t think that she’ll make it late enough in the game for her being the mastermind to be a real topic of discussion.

#10: Ingrid Grimwall

Being the Ultimate Blacksmith, Ingrid has a weapons-based talent, specifically one that fits in with the old fashioned stylings of Eden’s Garden Academy. She thinks pretty highly of herself and her skills, and is shown to be flippant about safety laws when it comes to cleaning supplies. These traits, in my mind, make her a more viable candidate than Jett or Jean, but I just can’t shake the feeling that Ingrid would be a really random mastermind choice. I don’t know what her being the mastermind would say about her or people like her, or what it would add to the story and world development. Ingrid isn’t a terrible choice, but I think there are far better options to consider.

#9: Kai Monteago

Yes, Kai is incredibly silly, and I probably shouldn’t have even had him this high just due to how much of a meme it would be if he were the mastermind. But, I think that out of the more silly mastermind candidates, Kai stands out for one reason and one reason alone: attention. Kai has already presented himself as someone who wants everyone to know his name, and what better way to do that than slaughtering some of the country’s brightest? The way Kai initially resigned himself to being an observer of the practice Class Trial before jumping in and eventually providing a lot of commentary could speak to him being a fan of killing games or mysteries in a way he couldn’t manage to contain. And, look– I know that his behavior was probably just to communicate that even when he’s underinformed, Kai is still a chatterbox who wants to be the center of attention, alright? I know that he’s probably here primarily as comic relief, especially if he winds up an early death. But at least compared to most of the students ranked below him, I can imagine a point or message that the writers would be trying to convey about social media and fame with him being the mastermind. His other limiting factors prevent him from cracking the top half, but that alone gets him part of the way there in my list.

#8: Wenona

In terms of actual feasibility, Wenona has to be high up there on students who we know could logistically be the mastermind. Cited as a billionaire, I’m sure she has the resources necessary to run a large production such as this killing game, as well as a shrewd, business-oriented mind that could potentially diminish the value of people’s emotions and lives. Plus, depending on what the writers’ collective political leanings are, I could see some kind of message about the evils of capitalism cropping up if she was revealed as the mastermind. Ultimate Entrepreneur is a talent that Damon already respects, so there’s also potential for drama there if she turns out to be evil. So, after all of that, why don’t I have her higher? To be honest, I don’t know. To me, there’s just something about Wenona that makes me think she isn’t the mastermind. It’s not because she’s so sweet or innocent that I couldn’t believe that she could pull it off– to be honest, it’s the opposite. Even if Damon respects her talent, she came off as fairly antagonistic and cold to me in the prologue. If she is the mastermind, I would imagine that she’d keep that attitude throughout the rest of the game. Then, in Chapter 6, we’d be faced with the revelation that, wow, the mildly antagonistic character was actually a really antagonistic character all along! It just doesn’t seem like enough of a dramatic hook to me, I guess? There are a lot of good reasons why Wenona could be the mastermind, but for those reasons, I don’t think she’s it.

#7: Wolfgang Akire

Similar to Wenona, Wolfgang for me is hampered by the fact that he’s already been set up as Damon’s rival. A lot of people are already suspicious of Wolfgang in one way or another, so if he’s revealed to be the mastermind in the end, players might feel vindicated, but not necessarily surprised. That’s why, if Wolfgang is the mastermind, I think the most interesting thing the Eden’s Garden team could do would be to reveal him as such early. I’m talking, like, first Class Trial early. We’d get to see Wolfgang’s calculating mind openly act as the mastermind throughout the killing game, let the other students deal with repercussions of having their trusted leader be the mastermind for a while instead of just in the last chapter (after he may have already done some morally gray things), and explore what people would think about Bargain Bin Damon when they know that Wolfgang is the mastermind. Would they make Damon their new hero, now that they can’t rely on the Ultimate Lawyer anymore? Or would they distrust Damon, potentially thinking he’s working with Wolfgang? Wolfgang being the mastermind also has the benefit of his talent. Given that Damon is so good at Class Trials, I feel like pitting him against, say, the Ultimate Music Producer might be too easy of a fight for him. Lawyer vs Debater is something that would not only be an even match, but has already been set up and, in some ways, executed. For Wolfgang, I think there are a lot of ways that him being the mastermind could go “wrong,” but if the writers play their cards right, Wolfgang could be one of the most interesting and unique masterminds we’ve ever seen in a Danganronpa game, canon or fanon.

#6: Eva Tsunaka

While Eva has a blunt and cold personality, she has the benefit (as compared to Wolfgang or Wenona) of being a character that the player is supposed to feel aligned with. You wake up with her, you investigate with her, she’s the one to agree with Damon when he takes a stand against the common complacency at the end. A lot of people have compared playing as Damon to if we had seen Trigger Happy Havoc through Byakuya’s eyes, and in that case, I think that Eva would have to be our Kyoko. And, although Byakuya and Kyoko had their disagreements, if Byakuya were forced to designate someone as his support character, who could he really trust and intellectually respect enough besides Kyoko to give that title? I think Eva will be our support character of the game, which would only make it more devastating if she betrays us in the end. That would also be a pretty unique road to go down, as I don’t think I’ve ever seen a fangan in which the support character was actually the mastermind, as opposed to a traitor or garden-variety killer, especially in a situation where the protagonist isn’t evil as well. It would also be brutal to make the player confront the Ultimate Liar really being the untrustworthy mastermind all along, after we presumably come to trust and like her. Given the comparison to Kyoko, I think it’s more likely that Eva will not be evil, and instead have a character arc about opening up and being more vulnerable, potentially dying in a late chapter or surviving. However, I would be super excited to see what would happen if Eva were the mastermind, and especially how Damon would react to it.

#5: Desmond Hall

Desmond is this high on the list because, really, I can’t see any reason why he wouldn’t be the mastermind. He’s the Ultimate Marksman, a talent that’s obviously tied to killing and violence, especially when we already have guns at play from the practice Trial and Mara. And, yes, he claims to have never killed anyone himself before, but 1) that could be true and he still could be evil, or 2) he could just be lying. Along with Eva, Grace, Wolfgang, Toshiko, and Eloise, Desmond is one of the characters that you meet before entering the room that contains the other half of the cast, which automatically makes him stand out more as compared to those who were grouped together. He’s shown to have a chill personality, but in a way that (at least to me) could totally be an act. Or, he could even retain that cool attitude as the mastermind, but in a way that just makes him detached from caring about life or death. However, given that we don’t know much about him, I don’t have any particularly damning evidence that he is the mastermind, either. After getting an initial look at him, I really didn’t have any strong inclinations on where his character might go– early death, late death, survivor, what kind of arc he could go through, etc– which is what makes him a more compelling suspect, to me. I plan on keeping a close eye on Desmond to see if there’s any future evidence that swings my opinion of him in one direction or the other.

#4: Toshiko Kayura

Alright, raise your hand if you didn’t think that Toshiko seemed suspicious from the first time you saw her. Given that she’s introduced eavesdropping on your conversation and always conceals half of her face, it’s no wonder that she gave a lot of people bad vibes. While Ultimate Matchmaker might seem like a silly talent to give the mastermind, it could also be a ruse to distract us from the fact that Toshiko has a talent that allows her to read people well and make choices that will impact their lives dramatically. Toshiko obviously stands out from the rest of the cast due to her age, though some people might consider that a reason to avoid suspecting her. However, it’s not like the canon games have strayed away from evil children– in my opinion, Monaca is Danganronpa’s best written villain– and a 14-year-old mastermind could bring up a lot of interesting scenarios which haven’t been popularly explored. Maybe Toshiko has a point to make about child prodigies, and how putting so much pressure on someone to be talented at such a young age is bound to mess them up. Maybe Toshiko grew up in such a terrible, Tragedy-inflicted world that she would be more vulnerable to corruption than her older peers. Maybe killing games are a family business, and traditional Toshiko is being raised to carry on that ritual. On that last note, though, I do think that Toshiko is more likely to be a traitor type than a mastermind, assuming that a role like that exists in this game. I could definitely see her working under the influence of someone a little older and wiser, which is why she’s still only at 4th place. She did seem to have a genuine, screaming reaction when Cara’s fake body appeared, which also points to her not being the manipulator behind it all. Still, I’m wary of Toshiko’s cuteness, and will continue to keep an eye on her and her fan.

#3: Cassidy Amber

Out of all the comic relief-based characters, I think Cassidy has the best shot of being the mastermind. She has Kai’s media and fame angles with the added benefit of being someone who streams games. You know… like killing games! Through that hilarious ladder/stepladder reference, we even know that Cassidy is a fan of Ace Attorney, a trial-based mystery solving game. I think that if Cassidy is the mastermind, a great way to foreshadow it would be to use the games that she references to show the potentially dark subjects she’s into and how she could be blurring the lines between reality and a video game in her head. Similar to Wenona, we know that Cassidy could have the resources to pull off a killing game, even if she usually donates most of her proceeds to various charities. She could also potentially have Wenona’s political angle if the writers wanted to use a killing game to critique communism… somehow? (Personal leanings aside, I genuinely don’t know how a killing game would be a good metaphor for communism in any way. I also feel like Cassidy is a communist mostly for the meme.) An Ultimate Pro Gamer mastermind could also draw on the meta elements showcased in SDR2 and V3, given that Eden’s Garden is, y’know… a video game. While Damon is initially opposed to her after she starts calling him Bargain Bin (stirring up that drama for the viewers), I think it would still be surprising if she was the mastermind because of how hard she reads as a comic relief character. If she made it to the end, I think people would expect more of a Hiro than a Junko. However, that could be just the trick that the writers are trying to set up to make Cassidy a fun and surprising mastermind. But, that’s just a theory… a GAME(r) theory.

#2: Ulysses Wilhelm

I wasn’t all that sold on Ulysses being a good mastermind candidate before I watched Ocean Unknown’s video, Project Eden’s Garden: Who Is the Mastermind?, in which she laid out some really interesting reasons why Ulysses could be it. I’ll summarize her main points here, though, because it’s mostly those I agree with. First of all, Ulysses’ name means “wrathful,” something of note given how uncommon Ulysses is as a name in the modern day. His last name, Wilhelm, means “vehement protector.” While this sounds nice, he could just as easily be protecting his wrath, the legacy of the killing games, or something else evil like that. Secondly, some of the very first words to appear in the original trailer for Eden’s Garden are “HISTORY REPEATS,” which is obviously suspicious for the Ultimate Historian. Ulysses’ symbol is the owl, and while it can symbolize wisdom (befitting an academic like Ulysses), it also means death and bad luck in many cultures. Damon also makes a really interesting comment about one of the paintings in the hallway, a woman with an owl’s face, when you click on it: “Sheesh. Owls always gave me the creeps.” Why would the writers give Damon that character trait, knowing that they have a character symbolized by the owl, unless they were trying to foreshadow something? It could just be a joke about how some owls eat snakes (Damon’s symbol), but… isn’t that kind of suspicious, too? Ocean Unknown also pointed out that we never actually see what Ulysses is taking notes about, meaning that they could be about the killing game in some capacity, although that particular trait of Ulysses’ screams “victim’s unique truth bullet/trial mechanic” to me. Despite all of this, Ulysses isn’t my number one mastermind suspect just because I think he was a little too underdeveloped in the prologue to have a huge role later on. I think it would be really easy for him to fall into a victim role as a relatively unimportant character. However, that lack of focus could just as easily be a front to save Ulysses’ true nature for later on. Don’t sleep on the sleepy boy– he might just be the mastermind behind it all.

#1: Diana Venicia

What a shock: the number one most suspected character in Eden’s Garden is my number one suspect for being the mastermind! Who could have guessed? Although this does feel a little basic, there are just so many things that make Diana suspicious. First of all, she’s the Ultimate Cosmetologist, symbolized by the chameleon. This has obvious parallels to Junko and Tsumugi, two canonical masterminds with fashion-based talents who disguised themselves (Junko via Mukuro, and Tsumugi in chapter 6). The fact that the practice trial featured the hyper realistic mockup body could also be something that Diana did using her talent. Speaking of the body, Diana excused herself from investigating like Toshiko, but wasn’t shown to have the same panicked reaction that Toshiko, Eloise, Jett, or Kai did. That would make her uneasy reaction much easier to fake. Also, is it just me, or does she kind of look like Cara? Secondly, there’s the decal on her shirt that’s oddly reminiscent of the Hope’s Peak Academy logo. It lacks the Monokuma eye that would make it really suspicious, but it’s still notable that she nearly references Hope’s Peak in her core design. Diana has a bubbly and sweet personality that would make her seem innocent, but just like a good foundation, that could be a cover up. It would be a little strange to have the mastermind be, after age revisions, one of only two minors (Diana being 17), but again they could be making some sort of point or connection there. Really, the main thing that holds me back from believing that Diana is the mastermind is just that it seems so obvious that people would suspect her immediately, which takes away from some of the surprise. It almost makes me think that she might be part of the cast as easy mastermind bait as opposed to a true mastermind. But, it’s possible that they could go for something non-standard with her (like an early mastermind reveal, as I talked about with Wolfgang), or they may have hoped that people would get more tripped up by Diana’s cute demeanor and young age. I’d still say that Diana is my #1 mastermind candidate for now, but I’m excited to see whether my prediction is correct or if they’ll go for a different option.

#project eden's garden #eden's garden #damon maitsu #wolfgang akire #fanganronpa #project eden's garden spoilers #eva tsunaka #cassidy amber #desmond hall #diana venicia #eloise taulner #wenona #grace madison #ingrid grimwall #jean delamer #jett dawson #kai monteago #mark berskii #toshiko kayura #ulysses wilhelm #if you made it through that entire post and all these tags thank you so much for reading!#i started writing and drawing all this way closer to when the prologue came out but i've had so much work that i couldn't finish it up #anyways i wanted to add that i didn't rank the possibility of a seventeenth student or no mastermind/tozu just being the mastermind #bc i found it hard to rank that concept versus the more concrete reality of sixteen options #like is damon the mastermind versus is there no mastermind was just hard for me #also i fully acknowledge that i may be totally wrong! i'm half expecting to look back at this once the game is over/closer to over #and laugh at all the misconceptions i had #and if you have any personal theories or evidence... hit me up #fanart #my art

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hexenmond · 29 days

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Webcomic Wednesday: The Witch Door

Well, I've been thinking about this the whole day now, and I'm almost frustrated that I can't seem to put this into words so easily. What's great about The Witch Door? Well honestly, what isn't?

I thought about Anni's other comic (Transfusions) and how I'm finding that easy to sum up – vampire BL with explicit scenes. I mention those few words and most people will have a fairly good grasp of what to expect and whether they might like it or not. (I personally hesitated a long time before reading it, because this is actually NOT something that's right up my alley. Turned out to also be good though.)

For The Witch Door, I can't seem to find an easily digestible handful of descriptive words like that. I feel like it is very much the sum of all of its intricate details, and it doesn't fit any simple bill. So I'll resort to reviewing my favourite bits about it…

It has great characters

Seriously, all of them are well thought out and engaging, not a single dull person among them. I love all of them so much that I have actually put ALL of them in my fanfiction (except for the Lintukoto people as they belong to the main canon storyline, which I'm not touching on). That includes Ulriikka, the fluffiest plot device ever.

Tangential to that: it has great representation

There's young people. Old people. Thin people. Fat people. Light-skinned people. Dark-skinned people. Live people. Dead people. Bird people. Ummm… a cat who is definitely also people. And other assorted… humanoids? And oh, sexualities for every letter of the alphabet!

The worldbuilding is intriguing

I'd roughly call the setting "urban fantasy", but that could mean so many things really. In a world much like the one we know, there are witches with differing magical abilities, some powerful, some almost mundane, but most importantly there is this one simple, cool thing that opens up so many possibilities, and that is the concept of the Witch Door: each witch has a special door that can lead to any other witch's special door. So even though our protagonists live in Turku, we have already spent an afternoon in New York and one in Kyoto, without anybody breaking a sweat.

… but it's also kinda slice-of-life

I really love the way that protagonist Katariina – non-magical, bog-standard human who works as a nurse – accidentally stumbles onto her neighbour's secret (he's a witch with a witch door), but her life's still lifing, so it's not all just magical discoveries and fun and games from then on. More like her world gets expanded, but that also means that on top of her own, mundane everyday problems she now learns about things happening in the magical community that are possibly even more concerning, and even less actionable. Katariina deals with all those new experiences with curiosity, wonder, compassion, delight, and occasionally overwhelm, and she feels so real for that.

It's about friendships

The more I think about it, that might be what I love most about the comic. We meet a whole bunch of people and all the relationships and interactions are just gold. At the heart of it, there's a lot of people caring about other people in quiet, everyday ways. Everyone is allowed to have their own struggles, and people are so supportive of each other. And there's also snark and banter, delicious!

I nearly forgot: It also has villains!

I do feel I've managed to avoid spoilers in all my rambling here, so I won't say too much about the antagonists. Just this: they exist, they are still a bit of a delightful mystery (we're in chapter 12 as I am writing this), and I fully believe they are just as complex and well thought out as all the other characters. I love to hate them.

Conclusion

If I've managed to pique your interest, why not take a look at the 6 page prologue? And then take the plunge into a completely different kind of mystery with chapter 1 🙃 where we're introduced to both of our protagonists separately, and then to the magic of the fluffy plot device.

Or, if you're unsure about whether reading this comic will bring joy to you and you don't want to just take the plunge and check it out (which I can relate to!), feel free to ask me questions about it!

#webcomic wednesday #the witch door #reading recommendations #i'll admit it's not wednesday here anymore but *shrug*#friendship is magic #kinda applies here i think

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pompadorbz · 1 year

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you obivously like taka but what do your think of ishda both as a concept and in the story proper

Ok prepare yourselves for this one, because I need to go on a full-scale rant and analysis over this actually. I think that Ishida is perhaps one of the most WASTED concepts I have EVER seen in my life. There are so many directions he could've gone in as a character and the writers decided that the best option was for him to just stop at a screeching halt before he ever got even a MOMENT to gain momentum. It's a decision that both angers and fascinates me, because not only is it shrugging off an entire character for practically no good reason, but ALSO, there's even some table scraps of evidence pointing to the possibility that he was meant to have even just a LITTLE more to his character. For starters, he not only has unused gift dialogue for when you give him a present before a free-time event, but an entire (albeit INCREDIBLY short) event.

Meaning that at some point, there was likely going to be more of an attempt to flesh him out that they just didn't end up going through with. Another thing that will forever fuck with me, is. Why does this splash art exist?

Like it's cool. It's raw as hell. But what reason does it exist? Like really think about it for a moment here. Ishida as a character doesn't have much more than. I'd say about 1-2 hours of screen time. And this isn't a Syo kind of situation, either. Syo appears fairly early on and then CONTINUES to front on multiple occasions. No offense to my guy Ishida but he literally eats dirt and then dies. SO WHY DOES HE HAVE AN ENTIRE PIECE OF SPLASH ART?? AND WHY IS HE WEILDING MONDO'S PICKAXE? AN ITEM THAT HE NEVER RECIEVES (and if I recall correctly, you only ever see in the chapters FOLLOWING his death)??? Why go through all the effort for a character that is around for only a tiny portion of the game if there weren't MORE PLANS for him initially? And like. No matter how you choose to look at Ishida's existence there is always SOMETHING that just doesn't add up or is never explained. Is he possessed? Or is this just a really poor coping mechanism? If its the latter, then why does his hair turn white? Why do his eyes light on fire? If it's the former, then why is the fact that A GUY GOT POSSESSED BY A REAL ACTUAL GHOST NEVER EXPLAINED, NOR EXPLORED??? Really, the only thing Ishida is used for is just a quick fix to nearly everything left unaddressed in chapter two's climax. A band-aid over a bullet wound. SO IM GONNA PERFORM FUCKING SURGERY RIGHT BEFORE YOUR EYES. CHECK THIS SHIT OUT. I'M GONNA WRITE A BETTER ISHIDA, AND BY PROXY, A BETTER CONCLUSION TO KIYOTAKA RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW (spoilers: I literally cannot think of a SINGLE way for him to die that doesn't work to the detriment of any other character. I am a firm believer that for his character to even WORK to a well written degree without using other characters as fodder, he needs to end up in the survivor roster)!!! This isn't gonna be like. INCREDIBLY detailed, um. I'd love to write this in full form someday but for now I'm gonna just do a sort of synopsis. BUT FIRST!! I need to talk about Kiyotaka as a character and the silly, funny, and interesting little things that are done to establish him because weirdly, Kiyotaka has this like, air of importance to him for both the first and second chapter. Like I might even go as far as to say that he could've been written as a red herring for BOTH the chapter 1 and 2 murder trials if the writers really wanted to go in that direction. Ok so with the prologue and chapter one, obviously every character is going to be given at least a little bit of time to have their base personalities established, and Taka isn't exempt from that by any means. He honestly gets a LOT more establishment than others in this chapter since he ends up becoming this sorta de-facto leader of the group right off the bat (and btw, I don't consider his eventual downfall and death to be a subversion of his character by any means. To me, a subversion implies that there's going to be at least some sort of attempt to tie in the subversion to his previous actions somehow, and no effort is made here. Chapter one already gives a great character subversion of the childhood friend trope with Sayaka, so if Kiyotaka's death is meant to be a subversion of his own character trope, then I'd say that it's comparatively much weaker). Kiyotaka even ends up being the one to set the morning meetings into action, which Is kept up for the entire rest of the game with little to no breaks in that formula if I recall correctly? Can you believe it guys. He started that. He started that and nobody thanked him. Anyway.

Then in chapter 2, things start to get a bit inch resting. The obvious one is Kiyotaka becoming friends with Mondo to then set up the events of the trial and how they relate back to Mondo, while simultaneously not making the culprit and victim completely obvious. Which by the way. Mondo's friend didn't necessarily HAVE to be Kiyotaka. It could've worked with multiple other characters but they chose SPECIFICALLY Kiyotaka. Absolutely fucked up. Anyway. The OTHER thing that happens to establish Kiyotaka in chapter two is. This.

fucking!!! oopsie!!! I fucking guess!!! Kiyotaka is the one to suggest revealing the secrets, which other than Monokuma himself dropping the motive, ends up being the domino that sets the entirety of chapter two's murder in motion. In a really fucked up in evil way, you could technically say that Taka blaming himself for Chihiro and Mondo's death actually has some merit if you pin it back to this! Fun! I think something about the second chapter that I don't see people discuss a lot is that while Kiyotaka is obviously being put into horrible grief over Mondo and Chihiro's deaths, blaming himself for both and even going as far as to vote for himself due to the amount of responsibility he feels, there's also this underlying second. thing. That I think acts as the nail in the coffin for his entire mental state once chapter 3 rolls around. Kiyotaka is somebody who at his core, has an INCREDIBLY black and white understanding of morality as a whole. In his mind, a person is either good, or they're bad. With him befriending Mondo, we see his morality take its very first major deviation. Almost. Mondo is somebody that Kiyotaka considered to be wholly bad at FIRST, but upon learning how similar the two of them were, he came to the conclusion that he made a lapse in his judgement, and that Mondo was actually wholly good. And THEN he commits real actual murder. Kiyotaka JUST made a friend for the very first time, and now he's learning that said friend committed murder. But not only did he commit murder, he committed ACCIDENTAL murder, and is still being punished. Meanwhile, Togami, someone who tampered with Chihiro's corpse for the sillyfunnies, and Syo, a wanted serial killer, BOTH go free completely unscathed, lacking any sort of further consequence for their actions. So not only is Kiyotaka in a state of heavy and immediate grief, but in addition to all that, his entire perception of morality as he knows it, and the BASIS for how he's lived his ENTIRE LIFE, has just crumbled in front of him in under an hour. This bad boy can fit so much PAIN and CONFUSION. This was so life shattering that I will once again remind you- he was suddenly willing to give up his, AND everybody else's lives to let Mondo go free. AND THIS IS ALL JUST TO PREFACE THE ISHIDA STUFF!!! So now we've hit chapter 3. I think pretty much everything goes as it does up until Kiyotaka becomes Ishida. THEN there are some substantial changes. I figure to start, I could think up a fun little reason for Ishida's hair to be white, although it's really just a metaphor. Once again, bro's entire understanding of morality has just crumbled, and I think that in his head, he tries to justify where he went wrong. Instead of just being the Mondo-possessed Kiyotaka, I think he becomes more determined than ever to fix the mistake that he 100% swears he must've made for chapter 2 to transpire the way it did. He begins to believe that he must've been acting too much out of pure logic, and that he should instead switch gears to a more emotional way of thinking through issues, hence his hair going from black to white. it's cute (it's also a nod to this lil line here).

When it comes to the chapter 3 murder, I think that Kiyotaka is vocal enough about his change of heart that Celeste susses him out in no time flat, and realizes that he's in a very vulnerable and easy to manipulate state. I think that he essentially swaps places with Hifumi here, and she's able to convince Ishida that Hifumi plans to hurt alter ego, or rather, that he hurt Celeste in one way or another. She's able to sniff out that Kiyotaka still feels spite towards everybody else, so if he can be convinced that she is the only good person left in this entire killing game (or grow a bond to Celeste), then he could end up helping her commit her murder. Except I don't think he needs to be convinced that he'd be making an escape with her (I didn't mention how he was willing to vote for himself in chapter 2 for no good reason). Rather, I think that he would play the roll of a red herring in the trial along with an unwilling Hiro, pretending to be the murderer as a last resort to cover Celeste's tracks. However at some point I think he would end up slipping (possibly in a similar fashion to how Mondo did with the colour of the tracksuit, which also ties to Celeste's own account, funnily enough), and that ultimately leads to Celeste's death. In Ishida's mind, i think he feels like he'd failed a second time to keep someone he cared about alive. He doesn't catch onto him being manipulated to begin with until later I think. Chapter 4 rolls around and I think things start to calm down, BUT. I think he remains INCREDIBLY silent during the entire thing, maybe only making a comment or two during the trial. I think as the truth gets slowly revealed it's like looking in a mirror. A. Very Hina shaped mirror. Watching somebody else also go to incredibly extreme lengths for the sake of someone they care about and trust strikes SUCH a chord, I think. It's perfect timing for alter Ego's execution to happen as well, I think. It's all a giant metaphor for something, probably. Anyways the reason I didn't go into depth with chapter 4 is because. There is a fic that I love that does that already. When I read it I was in a voice call and I had to refrain from actually losing it because it just??? happened to share a brain cell with me??? thank god??? Anyways it's called Stage 3: The Chrysalis (Also Known as Pupa) and it changed me forever. Go read it. That's an order. BUT ANYWAY after chapter 4 ends I think Kiyotaka would be fully back in form (now complete with emotional damage but hes working on it), and he'd end up taking a backseat so that the major endgame plot stuff can kick into high gear. Him and Hina are best friends now (real), and Ishida as a concept is fixed. This took like two hours to write, Spike Chunsoft should hire me so that I can write them a better game.

#syd spiels #backtalk #danganronpa #danganronpa thh #danganronpa 1 #danganronpa trigger happy havoc #kiyotaka ishimaru #ishimaru kiyotaka #i wrote an entire essay of course it's going into the tags #who else is gonna get this guy into the top characters on tumblr in 2023 if not me????#kiyondo ishida #ishida kiyondo #its 1 am goodnight

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artificeblade · 1 year

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Tell me about 5, 25, and 27 from those weird writer questions!

AH! Hello! Hi! Howdy!~ My good friend, Gitte. :D This is going to be long read so read at your own leisure.~ For anyone that wants to try their hand at it, here is a link to the post!

5. Do you have any writing superstitions? What are they and why are they 100% true? Now, I don't know if it's really called a superstition but it's something that happens every. single. time. and you know it too. Chapter 3, there is something about trying to complete that third chapter that is the be-all-end-all of my stories. If I can't get my shit together I nearly give up. I have to take a year or more hiatus on the thing. I work on other stories that end up stopping on that fucking chapter. I can work on other chapters before or after it but god damn CHAPTER THREE. It's my bane of existence. I don't know if it's because it's the critical step after building up everything from the prologue, chapter one and chapter two, that if I can't properly make the characters move from this chapter I'm doomed.

25. What is a weird, hyper-specific detail you know about one of your characters that is completely irrelevant to the story? Oh my dear friend, you have NO IDEA how any useless details I have about my characters. It's like 80% of my day dreams is thinking of all the little things my characters do and it helps me create more realistic personalities this way. ANYWAYS! Here are a few because I just love all my children characters so much. - Mori likes to connect the dot's on Nobu's freckles, creating little constellations on his skin. He does it with washable marker so it doesn't stay for long but when he is really bored he'll start doing it without thinking about it. Nobu doesn't mind it too much as long as he isn't working on anything. Mori's favorite constellations are a little heart and lopsided dog. -Rota sticks out her tongue when she is very concentrated. She doesn't know where she picked up the habit but if she is focused hard enough she has a little "cat blep". It's not often people catch her doing it but most find it endearing such a serious girl can look so childlike.

-Alyss/Frisk is always moving some part of their hand or feet. They picked up tapping their feet from Cinnamon, making them look like a rabbit as well. Mostly can be caught shaking a pen back and forth between their fingers, even twirling it if they get really lost in thought. If they are idle for too long while standing they start to shift in place. Think early 90's to 00's Sonic animations but not as sassy, haha.

27. Who is the most stressful character you’ve ever written? Why?

I think, at this point, it has to be Sans. Sans fucking Undertale. I can do light-hearted, wholesome characters. I can do wacky silly characters. I can do super serious and stoic characters. I can do cocky rival/friend characters. And I can do your run-of-the-mill good or bad guy. But give me a character like Sans Undertale and I'm nearly at a lost. I can't do witty. I can't do clever funny. I can't do the thinly-veiled threats like he does and keep it to where only the person he is talking to understands what's going on. It comes off as too try-hard and cringe-y to me. When I try to write Sans upset and mad it's very expressive when in fact I know he'll be damn put together and still making those stupid puns. I'm to honest with how I write my characters when Sans is in fact someone that keeps a whole lot to himself. He has to be near the breaking point to even crack his façade. Anyways, Sans is hard to write as much as I enjoy his character trope so much.

#replies #as me #writers ask me #my artwork #myartwork #my writings #mywritings #undertale #original works

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pisayers · 1 year

Text

Prologue

Ahhhh, Pisay. Where do I even begin with you?

In all honesty, the thought of me graduating hasn’t really hit me hard yet. Sure, there were moments in our last day on campus that a tear droplet nearly fell out of my eyes as I walked through the corridors for one last time, but I can’t really describe what I’m feeling as I’m writing this. I liken it to a state of limbo in which I’m extremely hyped to dip my toes into the realm of college, but also torn to shreds every time I think of the people that I have to leave behind in the process.

If you ask me what I remember from my Pisay life for the past six years, the default answer I would give would probably be the grandest events. Buwan ng Wika with the best quartet in Pisay CARC history: Edryll, Maron, RP, Jamil. The field trip where I visited spots in Baguio for the very first time as a born and raised Baguio boy. Food Fair with my best performance as a dead weight. Pi Day which turned into a two-week break which turned into a two year blended curriculum. Last Intramurals season with my teammates helping me get to the Mythical 5, shouting out the Grade 12 peeps Wrenzel, Zyr, Paul, Rainier. Prom night. Isko night. My journey to Mt. Pulag. These would probably be the most common themes if you were to survey the batch regarding their best experiences here in this institution. However, what is going through my mind right now are the little things, fleeting moments that will probably be forgotten as years pass, but can’t help reminiscing over because of its raw sentimental value.

The jamming sessions, Harley on the guitar with Andrew blasting his vocals singing Ang Huling El Bimbo for the nth time. The random conversations with Wrenzel and Raizen where Raizen hits you with the most out of the blue question to the point that you can see a large ass question mark on Wrenzel’s forehead. The 3v3s with the teachers, chasing Sir Jed and Sir Ace around screens like they’re Pisay’s version of Steph Curry and Klay Thompson, then proceeding to rotate to Sir Dems or Sir Jo violently backing you down like they’re Nikola Jokic. The pick-and-rolls with Johann, the dude seems to just get it to your hands at the right place at the right time every single possession. The chaotic games with the Grade 9s as Zach tosses up his Manny Pacquiao looking ass jumpshot and Kishan rebounds it to blow the putback layup. The high scores I would get in the English literature quizzes as I compare them with Kimee’s and Leah’s. The Grade 7s flocking around me on the yellow bleachers to dap me up after airballing their shots a whopping 60 times. The bear crawls across the 1st floor as punishment for the District Meet team, Kyle having the goofiest one there. The commute to Aurora Hill with Zyr where he is either in the deepest slumber possible or trying to get an update on my romantic situation. The blue store convos that can reach up to 7pm with Maron, Nicole, Neal, and Sam. The service days with Aya and Leah back when watching them get sermoned was hilarious. The nerve wracking debates, Aira and Pao carry me every time. The post-math LT verification process with Harley explaining what is basic trigonometry to me, The heart-to-hearts with Paul. The times I confessed my feelings. The times I got rejected. The times I cried myself to sleep doubting my physical appearance.

The little things.

Combine them all together and you have a melting pot in which you can experience what my Pisay life was like with just one sip from the ladle. If you notice, it really isn’t any different from a high school life in general. Pisayers get put with so much pressure and mounted expectations that we tend to forget that we’re not just robots churning out requirements, and while Pisay for me meant that in some sort of capacity, it also meant discovering myself more as a newfound adolescent. A sort of Holden Caulfield journey with less travelling around the States and more phony characters in play.

But it worked out in the end. Pretty high GWA. Academic award. Excellence award. Proficiency awards. Competitions under my belt. Personal projects on the side. Somewhat of a nice legacy. Pisay has also granted me the opportunity to see beyond the academic realm and discover who I truly am. No longer was I the valedictorian in elementary who was tasked to do pretty much everything for the image of the school. I needed my own niche. My own bubble. My own universe condensed into the palm of my hands ready to show the world what I can bring to the table.

And so, to end this stream of consciousness…

TO EVERYONE IN PISAY —

THANK YOU!!!!

To my parents, thank you for your unwavering love and support for me. I know it started out rough for me. It was the first guidance counsellor meeting for low grades and the first time I saw a flying saucer related to silverware and not aliens. However, knowing that I had a place where I could be unapologetically me helped in building my own sense of identity, and your caring nature got me to where I am today. To Dad, thank you for the late night snacks, and to Mama, thank you for the weekend dates. I’m going to miss both of you so much in QC.

To my teachers, thank you for imparting your knowledge and wisdom unto me. To be honest, I’m really questioning the real life application in half of the lessons I have learned in my Pisay journey, but one aspect I will never forget is the values and critical thinking skills that were passed down through diffusion along the way. To Ma’am Melai, thank you for always believing in me and my ability for every writing competition I participate in. To Ma’am Melki, thank you for your generosity and warmheartedness that I will treasure forever. To Sir Quantum, thank you for igniting my passion for Physics with your corny jokes and effort in crafting fun practice problems for us. To Ma’am Krystel, thank you for enlisting me in my very first competition, and subsequently increasing my self-confidence tenfold. To Ma’am Sol, thank you for your everloving care for us Stats babies; we really miss you and I hope to see you face to face some time soon. To Sir Arfe, thank you for teaching me how to cook; hopefully I can use it come college time. To Ma’am Abby, thank you for molding my writing ability into its current quality. To Sir Ariel, thank you for your unwavering kindness for our batch and your willingness to help us judge or critique our requirements in other subjects. Lastly, to Ma’am Eden, thank you for being the first teacher to see the potential in me to do great things here in Pisay. It sounded ludicrous at the start, but I’m glad I manifested it.

To my batchmates, from the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!! I know I started off being probably the most obnoxious and arrogant pre-teen in the fabric of space-time, but I am genuinely grateful that you gave me a second chance at life, given that it was probably easier for your mental health to just simply cancel me and cast me off aside as early as Grade 8. I also know that I did and will continue to make mistakes in the future, but I hope you know that I am going through all of these with the subconscious effort of making strides to better myself as a person. I wish you all the best of luck in your future endeavors.

To myself, well, you’re not done. UPD Economics is coming your way. New faces, new campus, new professors, new chinitas, but same old you. Don’t lose that spark inside you that has been igniting your motivation to study for the past 18 years you have been doing this. Don’t marry early either. Wear protection.

Thank you for everything Pisay! I’ll see you when I can.

#student

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roleplay-abiogenesis2 · 1 year

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YOU. [I am holding a sign at you. Uhh, it says, "you", but has a lil sticker of Cyno at the bottom. It's less threatening than an emoji, but it does in a pinch.] Talk about Hope Estheim! What do you love about him? What is his family life like? How does he perceive his destiny?

//Such a SNEAKY question! That scared me!

Gushy time huh? VERY WELL!

Hope Estheim is a character who was capable of single-handledly getting me invested in a game as questionable and flawed as FFXIII was. It was the dark ages of the series (ever since Square and Enix merged, all of the main titles were cursed in some form), and I was already disillusioned by the game as a whole. I played for collector's sake, and was uninvested in the main character. The Prologue being a step-by-step copy-paste of FFVII's beginning didn't help either.

But then came Hope, and he absolutely captured me! For JRPGs, it was incredibly surprising and refreshing to see a real child character who was not a miniature adult, or a prodigy of some form. This kid absolutely starts from rock bottom in nearly every way, and character growth is a thing I am a total sucker for.

To see him fall into the darkest of traumas, to then slowly stumble his way out of a hole of depression and resentment throughout the game was an absolute delight that to me honestly made the whole thing.

It is... perhaps unsurprising then that I absolutely cannot remember a damn thing about the plot after Hope's character arc wraps up, honestly? My heart tuned out once they returned to Cocoon. I remember nothing past the car racing track raid where Hope shows off with Alexander.

But that's what it boils down to: Hope is a realistic child character, which is a shockingly underrepresented category in videogames (JRPGs are especially guilty of this, with their obsession to write very young teenagers as adult-minded superheroes most of the time) and I am proud of his progress.

What is his family life like? How does he perceive his destiny?

These questions honestly need no headcanons! They are both explored in excellent detail in the game and part of what makes him such an interesting lil bean. Hope's story begins with him witnessing his mother's death, and on top of that, his relationship with his father is skewed and resentful. If I have a critique about that, honestly, I feel the father/son arc could've been extended and expanded upon a little bit. But it is also realistic (and honestly rarely seen in fiction) for it to boil down to the kid having a misguided impression of his parent, only to open his eyes to the truth after the two are forced to bond over their shared loss.

I am not stopping at blood ties either. I think Hope's most interesting dynamics are with Lightning and Snow, who both develop as familial figures to him over time (Light's attachment to Hope honestly saved the character in my opinion. I love their bond.).

Also elaborated on is his perception of his 'destiny', this is something that all members of the player's party go through actually, and probably the focal core of FFXIII's plot. To suddenly be branded as a L'Cie, becoming the enemy of one's own home. Like everyone else, Hope struggles with this new reality and has to come to terms with the inescapability of his fate. That is SO MUCH to ask of a kid his age. It is honestly surprising he didn't go mad... though there are moments where he almost did.

I could say more but I strongly encourage you to pick up the game or watch the playthrough as a movie sometimes~ I think it is worth it!

Saru-mun\\

#00j || that's what they said. [asked & answered]#ofhope #v09 || final fantasy xiii #00c || it's your turn now! [queue]#ff04h || hope estheim [headcanons]#00A || Saru-mun is still alive! [OOC]

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itssss-roma250 · 1 year

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08: Critique paper (book na binasa)

Date published: 2006

Title: for one more day

CHARACTER/CHARACTERIZATION:

Charles “Chick” Benetto – a former baseball player. A son who always took his mother’s love for granted. He lived with the given fact that he is a daddy’s boy. He always tried to please his father and leave his mother behind. But, when his mother died it changed his life. He realized how much his mother loves him. He attempted to kill his own life but an unexplainable incident happened, he was given one day opportunity to spend life with his mom.

Pauline “Posey” Benetto – Chick’s mother. A nurse but became a beautician when she was divorced. A loving mother to Chick and Roberta.

Len Benetto – Chick’s Father. A former Soldier of World War II. A man who just thinks of what he likes and what he wants.

Catherine – Chick’s wife. After Posey’s death and Chick’s alcoholism she divorced him but they partially reconciled after Chick’s encounter with his dead mother.

Maria – Chick and Catherine’s daughter. She was born at height of Chick’s failed athletic career. She took a sport’s writing job when she was a college student.

Roberta – Chick’s younger sister. As a child she loves to wear ballerina shoes. She also lost contact with Chick when he was already an alcoholic.

SETTING:

For One More Day takes place in a world between life and death where Charles(Chick) Benetto gets to spend one more day with his mother. Also it is in the 1950's, in a little town called Pepperville Beach

SUMMARY:

"This is a story about a family, and as there is a ghost involved, you might call it a ghost story. But every family is a ghost story .

For One More Day, by Mitch Albom, tells the story of Charles “Chick” Benetto, a retired baseball player fallen on hard times. The story is framed by a prologue and epilogue where a narrator explains that they are telling the story from Chick’s perspective, “because I’m not sure you would believe this story if you didn’t hear it in his voice”. The book is comprised of short chapters told in the first person, and Chick’s distinctive voice drives the narrative’s emotional arc. They tell two parallel stories: one, told over the course of one day, in the present, while the other recounts the memories of Chick’s life leading up to his mother’s death. Nearly every chapter ends with a short episode from Chick’s past, or a note from his mother that he saved.

After Chick’s baseball career ends, he struggles to find work, and his marriage collapses. He loses contact with his family, and his alcoholism worsens. When he receives a letter from his daughter Maria telling him that she’s married, he realizes he no longer has a relationship with his family and decides to end his life. He drives to his hometown, causes an accident after missing the correct exit, then walks to the town water tower and throws himself off. When he wakes up, he finds himself on the baseball field where he played as a child. In front of him stands his mother, who has been dead for ten years.

From this point, Chick tells the story of his life through the recounting of a single day spent with his mother, with Chick trying to make up for lost time. As they visit the houses of homebound women for whom Chick’s mother serves as a hairdresser, makeup artist, and confidante, Chick revisits both his childhood and recent past.

He tells the story of his parents’ marriage; his distant and secretive father, who pushed him toward a career in baseball; and his beautiful, ebullient mother, who encouraged his academic success. His father left the family when Chick was in the 5th grade, and though he became closer with his mother, he continued to hope for his father’s return. Chick remembers ruefully how ashamed he was of his mother as an adolescent and young adult, and learns of the sacrifices she made for him. In the process, he gains a new appreciation of both her and himself.

As the day comes to an end, they make one last visit, this time to an older woman crying in her bedroom. Chick’s mother explains that this is his father’s other wife, who he met, married, and had a child with during the Second World War, while he was stationed in Italy. Chick is crushed to find out that, when Chick was born, his father had already had a son with this woman. He now understands now the depth of his mother’s love, and he begins to forgive himself for his own past. When the day ends, Chick wakes up in the field where he fell, where police officers have been trying to revive him.

Chick explains to the narrator that he feels lucky that he escaped from the experience without causing harm to others, and the narrator explains that, in the five years between his near-death experience and his death from a stroke at 58, Chick has repaired his relationships with his family and found fulfilling work coaching children’s sports. Finally, the narrator reveals that she is Maria, Chick’s once-estranged daughter.

MORAL LESSON:

I learned to hold on to the ones I love and care for and make every moment the best because you wouldn’t want to be left with regrets in the end. I also learned that we need to move on from our past experiences to move forward. From the book entitled “For One More Day” I learned forgiveness, of others and of one's self. Like the main character, Chick Benetto, is so tormented by guilt and self-loathing at the beginning of the story that he tries to end his life. From the time he was a child his loyalties have been divided between his absent father and the mother who has been a constant in his life, and the choices he has made have left him essentially hating himself. Through the unexplainable experience of spending just one more day with his dead mother, Chick learns to forgive, and is able to find reconciliation and make restitution during the years he has left.

With such magical experience, I learned that to forgive and to be forgiving is important. This book also made me think of my father who passed away almost 2 years ago. He is everything to us and hearing his death was very sudden. This book made me think about what I would do if I had one more day with him, and things that I would tell him. There is no single day that I do not think about him. After reading this I still hoped that I would see him again. Maybe in another life or after my current one. I conclude that we should cherish every moment with our loved one's, because we can't say that they will live forever with us. Having a mother like Charley's mother is such a blessing, even though we didn't see their hardships, struggles and difficulties to raise us and some of us see that they are the big wall in front of us who stand as obstacles in everything we do ,well they are not. They know the best for ourselves, that's how sometimes they are against our decisions in life. Mother will stand for us even in their last breath, they stand as our friend, sister or a brother. We should take for granted and learn to love them and stand for them. Sharing tales of those we’ve lost is how we keep from really losing them.

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jimlingss · 3 years

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It's B from @bang-tan-bitches and I would like to request a yandere fic. It can be BTS OT7 x reader or BTS member of your choice x reader. Similar to your amazing isekai story i would like something similar(a long one shot or a multi-chapter, your choice). Whether YN transmigrates to a game or a novel (not as a villain but maybe as a cannon fodder side character that has little importance to the story and just wants to lay low) but YN captures the attention of the love interest(s) and shit starts getting weird, intense, uncomfortable. Maybe it causes the supposed female lead to turn into the villain, maybe it causes the love interest(s) to turn into the villain(s). Maybe YN realizes that something is wrong with the story/game but can't figure it out. Idk. Time period doesn't matter. Modern. Ancient. Fairytale. Fantasy. Whatever.

If you can do this great! If you can't or don't want to, that's okay too. You're an amazing writer with so much talent and I'm really appreciative of all your work. Thank you for taking requests from your fans, I'm sure you've received a lot.

Take care! 😘💜💜💜

at the start of the pandemic, I was getting back into manga and manhwa and then after a few months, I dawdled off but recently, I’ve been getting back into it again haha so this request came at a pretty good time. Hopefully you won’t mind that I’ve taken some creative liberties with this request lol I think it’s more fun if I keep readers on their toes, including the requester.

On another note, I really shouldn’t be writing all my isekai’s with Taehyung as the main lead but he’s just so fitting asdfghjkl

↳ The Fox Bride

2.6k || 99% Light Fluff, 1% Angst || Kim Taehyung || Isekai!AU, Slight Yandere!AU, Nine-Tailed Fox!Taehyung

You are a tutorial character.

But you weren’t always. You still remember being a career woman in the twenty-first century, struggling with overtime and paying bills while trying to keep yourself fed. The success of that ranged from month to month. But more importantly, you still remember that night too.

It was rainy. Your car blew a flat tire. You pulled to the side of the highway and got out.

The last thing that registered was the deafening honk of the semi-truck.

Then you felt yourself flying upwards.

But when you landed, instead of colliding with the concrete and dying upon impact, you fell back onto your ass in the middle of a market on a dirt road. Transported back a thousand years ago.

Your purpose was fulfilled in the next two minutes.

“Are you alright?”

The male protagonist had stretched out his hand and helped you up. The hero. The main character. It was obvious with his bright red hair, shining eyes and bronze armour. He was so starkly different from the rest who were gray and drab, including you who was suddenly in a brown shapeless dress. He was practically a neon billboard in the middle of a graveyard.

“Are you Y/N?”

You looked at him, befuddled that he knew your name. But before you could even respond or provide a line of dialogue, he said, “This is a delivery from Baker Jeon. He gives you his thanks.”

The protagonists handed you a loaf of bread. Undoubtedly his first ever quest.

You looked down, not sure what to do with it.

“Do you know where the blacksmith is?”

You had absolutely no clue. But there was the deafening noise of hammering steel literally ten steps away. You would have to be blind not to see the gruff man shaping a sword at an anvil right on the road and deaf not to hear it. As if that wasn’t enough, the literal sign of the shop read: ‘the blacksmith’.

So you pointed.

“Thanks.” And he trudged off.

You were utterly confused until a background character who said they knew you waved you over. You shared your bread with her, brushed aside when she asked you what was wrong, and you followed her as she walked up to your supposed cottage.

All the while, you saw yourself in the background of the hero’s main quest as he ran through the town.

And that was that.

It wasn’t so hard to figure out where you were or what the hell this was when you put your mind to it. Without much of a job or a family, and no technology but the candle that you had to conserve when night fell, there was ample time.

So you spent it thinking and you eventually solved the mystery.

You were in Beast Boys Harem: A Forbidden Embrace. AKA. a dumb yaoi otome game app that you downloaded on your phone when you were sixteen and bored. You remember because you were too cheap to buy the routes, so you played the tutorial, prologue and read the summaries of the routes online. Now you regret that you didn’t just fork over the goddamn five dollars.

Even more than that, you regret that you even downloaded the game in the first place.

But at least you’re just a tutorial character. You’re free from the storyline and the plot—

That’s what you thought.

Turns out living a thousand years in the past in a fantasy realm as a woman didn’t bode well. It was probably no different from how it would’ve been like in the medieval ages. You had no trade skills. No one was willing to accept you as an apprentice when you were a woman. You found that you were essentially illiterate with a reading level of a preschooler, no one was willing to teach you, and you had no power or wealth when you were without a father or a husband.

And you’re certain what the landlord and tax-collectors are doing is illegal.

But in this world, in this unjust realm, there is no such thing as the law.

“We know you’re in there!”

You jolt from the heavy pounding on the frail wooden door.

“It’s time to pay up!”

Your hands tremble as you set the candle down that’s still billowing of smoke, the flame smothered out mere seconds ago. As much as you want to hide and pull the blanket over your head, you know that door won’t last. They’ll find you if you’re trapped in here.

“If you can’t, spread those legs of yours!” a low voice spits and there’s chortling from the men.

Someone adds, “Sell your body already!”

“Open up! Damn whore!”

Without a single possession but the white nightgown clad on your body, you open the latch of the back window. You cringe at the squeak, trying to keep your movements quiet before the door gives way.

You hoist yourself up onto the window ledge. The door bends with the strength of multiple clenched fists against it. Your feet touch the soft grass outside your cottage. The men shout.

And the door finally slams against the wall, hinges broken.

But by then, you’ve slipped into the shadows.

“Where is she?!”

The blanket is ripped off the bed, curtains are whipped back, every drawer dumped onto the ground and cupboards yanked open. The floor shakes with the weight of their boots and you press your palm to your mouth to silence your panting breaths, slowly stepping away.

“That damn whore slipped through us—!”

But as your shitty luck would have it, a sudden crack has the whole world coming to a standstill.

Shit. You look down at your feet, realizing that the snapping noise came from you stepping on a twig. And it’s exposed your hiding place.

“There she is!” — “Out the back window!”

You grab fistfuls of your dress and bolt.

“Get her!”

With your cottage on the edge of town, there’s nowhere to run but through the dense woods. It’s shrouded in the darkness, no doubt filled with wild beasts creeping through the thicket. The rustling canopy of the trees doesn’t allow the dim, waning moonlight to illuminate your path.

So you’re left blind. Struggling up the high incline of the forest, feet slipping on dirt and mud. But you keep sprinting with all your might, even when the pointed, coiling branches scrape at your calves until blood sheds and the hem of your dress tears in the underbrush.

“Run, little rabbit!” one of them mocks, “Run!”

The four men continue to give chase, gripping onto their roaring torches, shrieking and howling after you. One of them is manically laughing as if your efforts to flee only adds to the thrill. Their greased hands reach out to snatch you, but the tips of their fingers graze the ends of your hair.

Your teeth are sunk into the bottom of your lip, sobs breaking through your aching chest. Your lungs burn, dying for a break or moment of relief. But you don’t relent and luckily, you manage to build distance between you and the men. Only, that luck comes crashing down by a fucking hole.

A hole in the forest floor that you don’t see. That has your footing all wrong. That makes you scream and fall.

You twist your ankle in a direction it’s definitely not supposed to be in and cry from pain.

A second later, you force yourself to get up and keep running with tears flooding your eyes and dripping down your cheeks. But it’s more like limping than running, akin to hobbling on one leg and every movement has pain shooting from your swelling ankle.

The effort becomes futile. They surround you within minutes.

“All finished?” The tax-collector’s head cocks with a spreading grin. “You’re not going to keep running?”

Why couldn’t you just fucking die the first time?! Even if it was an awful death where you didn’t have time to prepare yourself or say goodbye to anyone, at least it would’ve been the end. At least you wouldn’t have to suffer.

But there’s no time to grieve. Or hate the new life you’ve been given. This is it. You have to keep going. You have to survive. By any means. You’re about to pick up a branch and uselessly wave it around at them, shout at them to stand back. Anything that you could do to save yourself—

“Who dares come onto my mountain?!”

There’s a deep timbre behind you. A husky voice that quivers the very core of the forest.

As if the wind has swept through, the trees and thicket rustle and it goes silent.

The men fall back onto their asses, some torches clattering to the ground. Their eyes have grown double in size, nearly falling from their sockets and their jaws have dropped to the dirt.

“I-It’s the nine-tailed fox!”

The man scrambles back.

“Demon!”

Another barely manages to get onto his feet. He turns around and lurches away while shrieking.

They all run. Scattering away as frantically as cockroaches when the light is flickered on.

From your spot on the ground, you turn around with wide eyes.

Amber irises meet your gawking and they practically glow in the darkness of the forest. He is dressed in a loose, white robe that’s draped over his frame, open to the middle of his chest. And over his honey hair, on the top of his head, his pointed golden ears twitch. By the torch fire still yet to die out, he is illuminated and his shadow is casted on the ground. The blazing flame warms his cold, sharp features.

He is the most beautiful person you’ve ever seen. In both worlds you’ve lived in.

And you know who he is.

Taehyung. One of the love interests of the hero. A seductive, sly creature that eventually coaxes the hero into selling him his soul to grant one of his wishes. But Taehyung grows to become an obsessed character that wants to do nothing but monopolize and possess the hero for himself.

That same Taehyung approaches you with his lip curled as you teeter to your feet.

“Run away, girl.” He leans close. “Before I eat you.”

“Stop!”

On sheer instinct and adrenaline, you push him back. Your palm shoves against his firm chest.

Taehyung stumbles back with his eyes becoming rounded. He looks down to where you had made contact against his body. “Did...you just touch me?”

“What?”

Taehyung’s head darts upwards and he captures your wrist in his hand, squeezing tightly. He tugs you in and on your swollen ankle, you stumble into him. Bodies flush against one another. Your face pressed to his warm chest. His arm coming around your waist to break your fall.

He is aghast.

“You’re not from this world.” Taehyung’s yellow eyes swirl as they gaze into you. “Where did you come from?”

…

It’s been three days.

“Wed me,” he begs for the seventy sixth time.

You don’t know why you’re keeping a count.

“No.”

You’re hugging your knees for warmth. The rice paper-paneled doors are slid open and letting in the chilly air. He doesn’t seem to be affected by the cold, but you don’t look at him for long.

You turn into the corner of his home while sitting on the tatami floors as if you’re putting yourself into time out. But you’d like to say it’s your privacy corner. It’s as private as this abode, which was basically one room, could get.

Taehyung sighs in frustration, placing his hand on his forehead. His teeth grit. “You’re only making this harder for yourself.” Your silence angers him more. “You can never leave.”

You turn over your shoulder to glare. “Even if I married you, you’d never let me leave anyway.”

Taehyung narrows his eyes on you and then smirks. “You’re right. Wed or unwed, I won’t let you out of my sight. You should feel grateful, girl. You’re the best human I’ve ever treated.”

You quietly scoff.

Maybe you should feel scared. Maybe you should tread more lightly. After all, he’s not a character to be trifled with.

But you know he needs you. That alone gives you power.

As a beast, Taehyung’s been trapped on this mountain by priests for centuries. The only way he can be free is by feeding off of sexual energy and breaking the barrier. But of course, they also cursed him to be unable to touch any woman in this universe.

You aren’t from this universe.

You jolt when you realize that while you were lost in thought, Taehyung’s crawled closer. He has a foxy smile, amber eyes searching your expression. “Maybe….maybe I’ll grant you a bit of freedom if you would just give into the temptation and let me have a taste of you.”

As cold as he looks, he is beautiful. He is mischievous when he smirks and sly when he speaks. You are utterly spellbound as you look into his irises. And the temptation he speaks of flickers in the warmth of your belly.

But you turn away.

“I already said we only do that kind of thing after marriage. And I will only marry someone I love.”

Taehyung draws back with an unamused scoff. “What a prudish world you’re from.”

He wanted you the moment you were brought to this house. With the intensity of his stare and your captivated state, you had let him pin you to his floor and you liked it. But then clarity came and you blurted that such an act only happens after marriage. A lie just to buy time.

You didn’t expect for the hero to arrive at Taehyung’s house the next day. With his red hair and bronze armour, he had gotten lost in the forest and knocked on the door. Before you could limp over and answer it, Taehyung jumped off the roof and confronted him.

The guy was thrown off the mountain within five minutes.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this. They were supposed to have a steamy rendezvous. Taehyung was supposed to get the sexual energy from him!

The story was going off the rails. And you’re not sure what you’re even buying time for anymore.

The both of you know it’s only a matter of time before you break and succumb to his mesmerizing seduction.

Taehyung is cruel, ruthless, obsessive.

But what’s the most bewitching thing about him is the jarring contrast of when he’s clumsy and nurturing. It’s what he regards as his own weakness. What he hides from others. But you felt your heart waver two nights ago when you were shaken awake in the middle of twilight. When you peeked open your eye to see him gingerly wrapping your swollen ankle with bandages.

He looked beautiful in the pale moonlight, ears, tails, sharp features softened—

“Ow!” You wince as he squeezes your ankle, right on your injury.

“You think too much in your head,” he says and looks at you. “What’s wrong?”

“It hurts.”

A sadistic smile tugs on Taehyung’s lips. He lets go, but only to lift your chin with his fingers. His plush lips are inches away, his breath warm on your skin and he gazes deep into you. “I won’t let you return to your world. I won’t let you run away. I won’t let anyone harm you.”

“You’re mine now.” Taehyung swears, “You’ll fall in love with me eventually.”

You gulp and he smirks.

The two of you know it’s only a matter of time.

#bts fanfic #bts scenario #taehyung fanfic #taehyung scenario #taehyung fluff #bts fluff #taehyung reader insert #taehyung x reader #taehyung fanfiction #LET'S GOOOO

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zaffrenotes · 3 years

Text

Tag List Update

It’s that time again - it’s been almost a year since I updated my lists, and seeing as I’m wrapping up one series (Kairos), prepping for RODAW, picking up old series, and deciding what new thing I want to work on next, I want you to be able to read the things you want to 💙

Comments and/or reblogs are good (and I appreciate every single one of them!), but I've made up a form that will hopefully make things easier. Listing perma/book tags below the cut; to avoid repeating names by listing every series, I'm mentioning everyone that's been tagged for at least one book/series to opt in on what you want.

If you're seeing this post but you weren't tagged and you want to be on a taglist, hello! and click the link below 😊

If you've been tagged but you're no longer into my writing, ignore this post and the form; I'll remove you from tags once I close submissions. There won't be any hard feelings - I know tastes change over time, and I don't want to annoy you with a story you no longer wish to read

You can always hop on or off a list later, this is just my attempt to stay organized

Form will stay open until Sunday, 25 July, 11:59 EDT. After that time, I'll update lists accordingly.

These are included on the form, but here are 50 words or less "snapshots" of my WIPs and upcoming series:

Non-Choices

(last updated November 2020) The Exchange: Daniel Henney x Reader thing where you meet Daniel Henney at an informal gathering

(last updated June 2021) To Ruined Friendships: Logan Delos x Reader potential miniseries where you set aside years of friendship with Logan to see the side of himself he rarely shows the world

Ride or Die

(last updated July 2019) Mixtapes & Milkshakes, Side A: through a series of flashbacks via mixtape, Jin recounts her time with the Mercy Park Crew and the two boys she fell for (Logan x MC, Colt x MC)

(TBD) Mixtapes & Milkshakes, Side B: AU where Logan recounts his summer with MC (Lana) while he listens to an album

(last updated February 2020) Mixtapes Hidden Track: open series of one shots between Logan and Jin as they repair their relationship

(last updated July 2019) Prologue to Breathe Hope Love Live: 3-part introduction to an AU where Ellie tries to start a new life on the East Coast, but she’s still in love with Logan and Colt

(TBD, August 2021) RODAW 3.0: fic, edits, crafts, and other submissions for ROD Appreciation Week

(TBD, August 2021) Untitled AU: series adjacent to Mixtapes (Hidden Track) where Logan learns how to love & be loved as he and Jin rebuild their relationship and start a family

The Royal Romance/Royal Heir

(last updated November 2018) Crimson Snow: gangster AU where Liam is part of the Yakuza. IDK when this series will actually begin

(last updated February 2020) Deja Brew: prologue posted; coffeeshop-esque AU that will incorporate Friends quotes/prompts that will loosely follow events from TRR Book 1, if everything had taken place in New York

(last updated August 2020) Elpida: TRH AU set 20+ years in the future, where Eleanor “Teddy” Rys returns to Cordonia to be crowned Queen. Technically complete but I've been asked to write more

(last updated July 2021) Kairos: nearly completed Wacky Drabbles series/AU where Riley asked Liam about the one that got away. Liam recalls his time with a woman named Elia, and their time together one summer

(last updated July 2021) Love is Patient: possible Wacky Drabble AU/miniseries where Liam and Trina had a chance meeting as kids and pretended to get married. 20 years later, Trina’s summoned to Cordonia because Liam can’t be crowned king without a wife. Can two relative strangers fall in love and prove their love is real in time?

(last updated October 2020) Morpheus Dreams: snippet posted; soulmate AU set in a post-apocalyptic world where dreams only occur when you fall asleep in the arms of your soulmate. burnsoslow’s Alyssa Devereaux from Remember Two Things will be on loan

(last updated October 2019) Morsels: miscellaneous one shots following You Are the Reason series, where Liam and Trina navigate married life in between ruling as monarchs, raising kids, and finding moments of time for themselves

(last updated September 2019) Serendipity: college AU where TRR characters exist, but Cordonia doesn’t and they don’t have noble titles. Liam shares a kiss with Trina within minutes of meeting her, and spends the rest of the semester getting to know her

(last updated December 2020) Sojourn: AU comprised of one shots after TRR Book 2 events, where Trina accepted Liam’s proposal on the condition that she goes to law school before they marry. Drake becomes her roommate/extension of the Kings Guard for protection while he also finishes his degree. Chaos sometimes ensues; precursor to You Are the Reason

(last updated April 2019) You Are the Reason: series occurs after Sojourn, where recent graduates Trina and Drake officially return to Cordonia. However, unknown forces try to keep Trina from marrying Liam. Some parts of TRR Book 3 will be included

(TBD 2021) Untitled Summer Love/Wacky Drabbles series: AU where Cordonia doesn’t exist/no one has noble titles. Liam and Drake take a long overdue summer vacation, where they meet an interesting pair of ladies, under odd circumstances. Will there be more than one summertime spark?

FYI I don't post anything on a schedule 🙈also tags max out in a post so I'll reblog in a minute. Thanks for reading this mess, and reading in general 💙

Permatag All Stories: @ao719 @blackcatkita @debramcg1106 @neotericthemis @ofpixelsandscribbles @smalltalk88 @the-soot-sprite

BLADES: @choicesarehard @princess-geek @saivilo @storyofmychoices @walkerswhiskeygirl

MOTY: @justbeingmyself21 @pirateofprose /princess-geek /saivilo @siegrrun

ROD: @burnsoslow /choicesarehard /pirateofprose

TRR/TRH: @aestheticartsx @bbrandy2002 /burnsoslow @choiceskatie @darley1101 @dcbbw @gardeningourmet @iplaydrake @kingliam2019 @liamxs-world @rainbowsinthestorm @riseandshinelittleblossom @superharriet @texaskitten30 @theroyalheirshadowhunter

melee tag for anyone that was tagged for a ROD or TRR series but I have too many to post lists one by one so you need to check off what you wanna read *points to snapshot descriptions above*: @alexpottrechoices @blznbaby @brightpinkpeppercorn @choices97 @clairexoxo100 @client-327 @cocomaxley @cordonianroyalty @cordonian-literature @everythingchoices @forallthatitsworth @gibbles82 @gkittylove99 @gnatbrain @h3llostrang3r @hustacks

#tag list update #cleaning up my lists #could this post BE any longer?#does this count as my WIP Wednesday post?

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kaizokuou-ni-naru · 3 years

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The Voyage So Far: Skypiea

east blue (1 | 2) || alabasta (1 | 2) || skypiea || water 7 || enies lobby || thriller bark || paramount war (1 | 2) || fishman island || punk hazard || dressrosa (1 | 2) || whole cake island || wano (1 | 2)

the bar scene in jaya is one i didn’t really get the first time i read it- like nami, i mostly found luffy and zoro’s refusal to fight back frustrating more than anything else. i didn’t realize the connection to shanks in the prologue until someone else pointed it out awhile later, but when i did, it made me appreciate the entire sequence and luffy’s choices a lot more.

honestly, i know this is one of the pages that gets the most attention from jaya, and it absolutely deserves it. blackbeard here is effectively dropping one of the biggest main themes of the series- people’s dreams don’t end!!- and how interesting that we get that delivered by the antagonist to the protagonist, instead of the other way around? how often do you see a series do that?

and the line hits. look at the emphasis. there’s absolutely nothing on these two pages except for the three strawhats, blackbeard, and blackbeard’s line, bigger than anything else.

chapter 232, with luffy punching out bellamy in one hit is still, to this day, probably my favorite one piece chapter. it opens with the drunk pirate seeing the newspaper with luffy’s hundred million bounty and realizing just who bellamy was kicking around, and it hits on one of my favorite plot threads of one piece- the growing infamy of the strawhats and luffy in particular, and their rise in the world.

the atmosphere of the whole scene is so good, the tension in their air, the way all the bar patrons jump when luffy yells for bellamy to come out- and when the hit comes, the satisfaction is visceral.

i’ve talked about it before, but god, i LOVE the way one piece defines “romance”- the arthurian kind of romance, the adventurous kind, that romanticizes the world and its wonders- romance dawn. in an arc as thematically heavy as jaya, it makes sense that it, too, is explicitly brought up. can you think of a more romantic, impossible adventure than traveling to the sky?

nami’s confidence when faced with the task of navigating into the sky is so fantastic.

the expressions, and the art in general, in skypiea, are really so lovely. look at the variety between the strawhats when they first emerge from the white-white sea to lay eyes on angel island. look how expressive they all are!! i have such a soft place in my heart for the art in these earlier arcs, honestly.

somewhat related to the above: there are so many little moments in skypiea where the strawhats just get to have FUN, and be stupid, and get fleshed out more as characters, and honestly it’s such a delight. also, everyone’s skypiea outfits were just really really good. cowboy hat robin... i miss u every day

i really like the whole scene where robin is exploring the ruins, and these panels in particular have such a lovely sort of ethereal look to them. i love seeing robin doing archeology, i think for the same reason i love to see sanji cooking- the strawhats are all such cool and passionate people, and it’s really really nice to see them doing and talking about the things they love and excel at most.

i’m sure i’ve said it before but i LOVE how logia powers are depicted, especially when used to avoid an attack. it’s so cool. ace’s cover story runs through most of this arc, and we get some great examples of it there as well.

1. wife

2. skypiea is SUCH a good character-building arc for robin- which is good, because the next saga is almost entirely predicated on how much both the audience and the strawhats care about her. it’s here where we learn about her passion for archeology, her reverence for history, and get a much better look at the softer sides of her personality and her fast-growing admiration and affection for the strawhats.

man, enel has so many huge, terrifyingly powerful shows of force throughout this arc, but this right here, this little sequence where he appears behind raki between panels without warning and we see him reflected in her eye, communicates better than absolutely anything else just why he’s a nightmare.

“jonny you sure are posting a lot of panels of zoro being cool without any real commentary” yeah. he kicks ass in this arc

conis is a very underrated character, i think. she’s pretty easy to overlook, but she also manages to completely break the indoctrination she’s been raised into and gambles her own life to save most of the population of angel island from complete extermination. she yells that she doesn’t recognize enel as god, an instant death sentence at any other time, just to get them to listen to her.

there’s a moment, in this scene, where a boy throws a rock at her for insulting enel, and she just stands there, and lets the blood trickle down her face, and keeps making her case. honestly, i really like her.

look at this page. look how it’s framed. luffy in the foreground, taking up most of the page- enel in the background, tiny, inconsequential.

now that’s how you draw god’s natural enemy.

this is one of my favorite nami character moments in the whole manga. nami is a greedy person. she has a lot of things she wants. it’s one of her defining traits.

but when faced with someone with godlike power, offering her absolutely anything she wants if she’ll just abandon her friends and come with him- she doesn’t want anything, for that price, even with her life on the line if she declines. she knows exactly what her treasure is.

obviously this is an awesome panel, but sanji’s little smile just before enel strikes him is what really, really makes it for me. he’s about to get slammed with several thousand volts of lightning, but more importantly, nami and usopp are going to be safe.

the skypiea flashback is one of my very favorites, and also the first time one piece ever made me cry. i nearly cried just flipping through it again for this post. it’s just so fucking devastating.

noland never stopped looking, and calgara never stopped waiting, and neither of them ever lost faith in each other despite how badly they fell out at the end, and wow, that just kills me. but at the same time, it makes the way the flashback and the main story come together at the end so satisfying and cathartic.

i do think skypiea has one of the best climaxes of any arc. the way all the disparate elements and plot threads- enel, the story of noland and calgara, the war between the skypieans and shandians, cricket’s search down on jaya- come together and tie up so perfectly that the entire arc can be ended by the ringing of a single massive bell is nothing less than genius writing.

i really love the establishment of roger’s poneglyph message and all the things it implies here. it raises so many questions, most of which we’ve only now gotten answered, in wano. oda’s capacity for long-term storytelling is one of his greatest strengths, and this is probably one of my favorite examples of it. (see also, in jaya when sanji mentions offhand that he was born in north blue.)

i just really love seeing them all smiling, and i love the parallels to calgara and noland’s sendoff here. feels like a wound finally healing, after four hundred years.

and, of course, it ends with cricket, asking what crazy, romantic dream they’re going to chase down next. because this is one piece!! just because you find the end of one rainbow doesn’t mean you stop looking for the next one.

#the voyage so far #one piece #arc: skypiea #arc: jaya #not japanese #long post #opmeta

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hard-boiled-criminal · 3 years

Text

Venus Ambassador - 1

Loki x gender neutral reader

Loki tv spoilers

Prologue

You could feel your frustration build as you read through a court hearing where the judge and the defendant just kept going in circles, repeating themselves over and over and you were sick of it.

With a groan, you tossed it back on to the desk and leaned back in your chair, massaging your temples to try and soothe your growing headache.

‘I wasn’t made for all this legal shit,’ you thought, frustrated and annoyed. ‘Couldn’t they have, I don’t know, spiced it up a bit for me at least? All I’m asking for is maybe some more information on these different worlds and species. It’d be good to know what the heck a Daijiq is, not about how “x did this and altered the timeline so we gotta dust ‘em” and all that boring bullshit. They’re just having me read the court transcripts and write documents about how my dimension works. Not to mention making me watch that Hanna-Barbera-esque cartoon and then quizzing me on it.’

With another groan of mental pain you slouched back forward.

“You know what? Maybe I just need a (tea/coffee) break. Yeah, that sounds nice.”

You stand up from your chair and stretch, groaning as your bones and muscles protest at moving after being idle for so long. Thankfully, you were able to easily convince the TVA to provide you with a (tea/coffee) maker, which now sat and a small table in the corner of the room. You purposely placed it in the corner furthest away from your desk so that you’d be forced to get up and stretch your legs every so often, lest your muscles waste away into nothingness.

As your beverage was brewing, two knocks rapped at your office door. Before you could respond, they let themselves in. They held up a manilla folder and gave you a nod.

“New variant case.”

“Thanks.”

They placed the folder on your desk and promptly left. It seems neither you nor the TVA were still quite used to each other’s presence, despite you being here for a month already. You couldn’t really blame them. Afterall, your dimension’s inner workings completely went against their own and their ideals.

With a sigh, ‘more paperwork. Great,’ you head back to your desk with your piping hot drink. Not wanting to pick up that dreadfully boring court transcript you were reading, you decided you might as well take a look at the new file.

You take a sip of your drink as you open the file and gasp, accidentally letting in too much of the almost-boiling drink. You immediately start coughing and sputtering, and your tongue is definitely burned. After your coughing fit subsides, you rub your eyes and look at the file again in disbelief. You had only learned that this was the TVA in the Marvel Cinematic Universe last week; you weren’t expecting one of the characters to be here as a variant so soon!

Loki.

Drink forgotten on the desk, you grab the file and rush out of the room. You couldn’t let your anxiety take over now, not when you had the chance to meet the Loki. If we were talking about problematic favorites, then they were number one on the list. ‘I mean, they’re a villain and they’re hot. What was I supposed to do? Not simp over them?’ You knew Loki would be here eventually, having seen the trailers for the tv show, but when you arrived here, you had no idea what point of the timeline you were at. The show hadn’t aired yet, so you have no idea what’s to come. That thought makes you both nervous and excited.

It doesn’t take you long to reach the circulation desk. You hand the file to the person sitting there, and a bit out of breath you ask, “that variant… where are they?”

They give you a strange look before looking through their own files. “It looks like they are currently with Agent Mobius in Time Theater A, floor 2WE.”

“Thank you,” you hurriedly grab the file and speed-walk to the elevator. You’re not about to risk running through halls filled with armed TVA that could vaporize you with a single tap from their zappy sticks, especially since it seemed many of them didn’t quite like you. Luckily, there’s an elevator close by and you get there quickly, waiting for it to come to your floor after hitting the button. As soon as you confirm the elevator is empty after the doors open, you rush in and hit the button labelled ‘2WE.’ Now stuck with nothing to do but wait, your mind finally has a chance to catch you up on all the anxiety you forgot about—all those doubts that started to build up, wondering if this was a good idea. You start to pace around the small space as nerves get the better of you, nearly jumping out of your skin when the elevator dings and the doors slide open. There’re people rushing about, like always, and you do your best to squeeze past them to Time Theater A.

You slip through the theater doors as quickly as possible, letting out a quick sigh of relief as soon as you’re out of the crowd. You look up, and there he is, sitting on the steps to your left, face in hands and tesseract beside him.

He looks so… lost.

“Um, are you okay?” You asked without thinking, immediately berating yourself in your head. ‘Stupid! Of course, he’s not okay! They just got kidnapped by the TVA and now look at them! He looks so… despaired? Unsure? Like everything he thought he knew was a lie? Again?!’

He glances up at you, slightly lifting his head out of his hands and raises an eyebrow.

You stand there awkwardly for a couple seconds, not quite sure what to do. ‘They seem like a tea person; I should’ve brought tea… wait, shit, I don’t have a thermos. There’s no way I could bring some tea all the way down here without spilling it all over myself and—okay, you know what. Fuck it,’ you leave all caution to the wind and walk over to him, sitting on the steps to his left.

“…that was a stupid question, wasn’t it?” you said, letting out a single self-deprecating huff of laughter. A moment of silence passed between the two of you. You take a deep breath. “It’s okay to feel things, you know. It’s also okay to let others see that you feel things. I know that it’s hard, but sometimes it’s easier with a stranger. So, if you want to, you can…vent? Fuck, sorry, I can’t think of the other word for it, and you don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with—actually, you know what, forget it, just forget I said anything at all and now I’m rambling and making a fool of myself—okay, deep breaths.”

You felt absolutely mortified. He you were, tiny insignificant mortal you, trying to comfort a literal deity who you may or may not simp for and making a complete fool of yourself. This time, it’s your turn to bury your face in your hands. You want to scream in frustration at yourself, but there’s no way you’d do that in front of them. You peek at them between your fingers to see that he’s looking at you with confusion written on his face.

“Heheh… sorry about that. I tend to ramble a lot… especially when I don’t know what to do,” you take another deep breath and turn to look at them. “But where are my manners. I’m (y/n), nice to meet you—"

“Loki,” Agent Mobius cuts you off as he enters the room, wielding the phaser stick.

‘This… this is not a good situation right now, is it?’

Hey. I know some people (like myself) like to be added to the taglist so… if you wanna… lemme know and I’ll slap your name on it. Ok. So. I’m going to try to update this weekly as the episodes air. Maybe biweekly if I need to cut some chapters in half because they’re long and I wanna post what I’ve finished so far. But maybe, just maybe, as we get further into the series, I’ll drop some little omakes here and there, small fluffy interactions…

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andromedasstarship · 3 years

Text

faceless, nameless - the prologue

gif credit - @kylos

pairing - kylo ren x reader

warnings - canon-typical star wars violence, depictions of death/violence, fighting (verbal + physical), loosely implied physical intimacy (really up for interpretation here), angst, tension, implied mild love triangle, kylo ren betrays you

summary - For four years, Kylo Ren considered you to be many things: his right hand, his confidant, an irreplaceable strategist, a friend and most importantly his equal. It all ended when he left you with a blaster shot to the stomach on a near deserted planet. On the brink of death, a rather dashing Resistance Pilot stumbled upon you, saving your life.

Donning a mask to hide your identity, you’ve grown to become the most fearsome Resistance fighter they have; bewildering the First Order as to how you always seem to ruin their plans and avoid capture. Kylo Ren is a different man from when he left you two years ago, so how will he react when he accidentally finds you alive and well in Poe’s memories?

masterlist // series masterlist // read it on ao3 here

next chapter

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the prologue - the sun

On Starkiller Base, there were plenty of rumors as to why Kylo Ren kept you around. Some said it was because of your extensive training in hundreds of different languages, both spoken and signed. Others were sure it was due to your diplomatic upbringing that came with countless connections and near endless wealth. Or, maybe it was due to your more than adequate ability in battle that served him the most. Even some people thought you were a kept woman, who only existed as a way for Kylo Ren to blow off steam behind closed doors. Your favorite rumor was that you were actually a high-ranking Resistance spy who was tasked with infiltrating the First Order at the highest level and that Kylo Ren had become weak because of you. Had it not made you laugh so much the first time you heard it, Kylo would’ve crushed the windpipe of the lowly officer who created the elaborate lie.

Of course, there were some truths in all the rumors, but none of them exciting. You were in fact trained in hundreds of languages and that training was a product of your diplomatic upbringing. You were exceptionally trained in various forms of combat, but that was something that came after you met Kylo; he had always been afraid of you not being able to properly defend yourself. You were most certainly not a kept woman, not that you and Kylo weren’t intimate, but certainly not in the type of dynamic people thought. You absolutely were not a Resistance spy, but even though neither of you said it aloud, Kylo Ren was definitely weak for you.

How it actually happened is quite boring. The two of you met when Kylo had just turned 24, still more Ben Solo than Kylo Ren. You were recently 23 at the time, head of a diplomatic welcoming committee that met with Kylo as part of his first official diplomatic endeavor as ‘Kylo Ren’ the soon to be Commander of the entire First Order. He quickly became enamored with you and the way you commanded a team full of older men who clearly didn’t approve of your position- whether it was due to your age or gender he didn’t know- but still treated you with respect; in short, you radiated a confidence and power he desired. For you, it was quite the opposite, Kylo Ren still wasn’t sure of himself and at times still acted like the awkward lanky Jedi boy who had never spoken to a girl outside of school purposes. He was a fresh and welcomed change from all the annoyingly rich and cocky men you met with on a daily basis.

Him and his team stayed on your home planet for nearly three months. Countless delegates from various planets flocked there for balls, meetings, conferences, and more. Your connections ran deep and you directly aided in the First Order’s successes during those three months. For the first few weeks, you and Kylo skirted around the obvious pull between the two of you. He wasn’t exactly sure how to ‘woo’ a girl, nor was he even sure if he was allowed to. His lack of action caused you to regularly doubt if he also felt the spark, or if it was completely one sided on your end. Weeks of longing gazes and accidental brushes of fingertips finally came to an end when the two of you were sitting on your private balcony, overlooking the well kept grounds, discussing the conference that had just ended. It was a roaring success for your planet as well as the First Order, both of you securing mining resources at an exceptional locked rate for a minimum of fifty basic years. You made the first move, he was irresistible under the moonlight, closing the space between you on your bench and pressing your lips directly on his. In his hesitation you thought you had completely misread the past month, but it was only a moment later that his hands found purchase in your hair, pulling you closer. The two of you were nearly inseparable for the rest of his trip.

It was difficult, when he finally had to return to his new master and some massive ship that would be lightyears away from you. Unspoken promises were made the night before he left, declarations of love and devotion made behind closed doors. He was still far from truly becoming Kylo Ren, had copious amounts of training to finish before he would see himself be fitting for someone like you. If he was nothing else, Kylo was desperate for loyalty and when you watched his ship leave you had no doubts he would come back.

And he did, nearly an entire standard year later. You almost didn’t recognize him when he stepped off his personal ship. All broad shoulders and shrouded in layers of black, with that intimidating mask covering his face. He was proving to be quite the warrior, the tales of him and the Knights he commanded reaching the farest edges of the galaxy. When the welcoming festivities had ended and he removed his mask in the privacy of your room, you found a mature face that had lost the softness you once knew. It was no matter to you, flinging yourself into his arms and vowing to never let go.

This time, when he left, you went with him of course. Kylo had been shocked when Snoke approved it, but Snoke, ever the manipulator, knew the growing attachment between the two of you would inevitably prove to be valuable in controlling Kylo Ren.

Moving into a giant spaceship wasn’t easy for you. The dark, cold and everlasting expanse of space was a sharp contrast to your warm ocean planet. You missed the sun on your face and your people, but when you vowed to never let him go, you meant it. As time went on, you grew accustomed to the ship and then eventually Starkiller- which was an entirely different battle, that piece of ice had you complaining for months-, and soon enough you couldn’t imagine a life not in space.

Most of your days were monotonous, not that you minded. From the first day you stepped foot onto base, Kylo began training you himself. He never wanted you to feel as hopeless and afraid as he did when he woke up to his uncle ready to kill him in his sleep. So he trained you, and he trained you hard. You could wield a lightsaber well enough, as he argued that should anything ever happen to him- a thought you hated entertaining-, his saber would be the best weapon you had available. You were smaller than him, so close combat was a challenge but you learned to use your size and agility as an advantage. What you specialized in, was the staff. It allowed you to give a larger opponent at a safe range until it was possible to take them down. Kylo had a special one created just for you, with double edged electrical ends that you could easily turn on or off. It was rare that he actually let you on a battlefield with him, but when he did you were unstoppable. Not that you minded, you quite enjoyed working behind the scenes, forming battle plans and leading diplomatic endeavors for the First Order.

Other than Snoke, no one out ranked you, not even Ren; a fact he had been extremely particular about after a visiting diplomat made the excuse of outright ignoring and belittling your presence in a meeting. You were equals in everything, even going as far as taking on the ‘Ren’ moniker.

Among First Order subordinates, you were fairly well liked, and not just because it was unspoken that anyone who thought badly of you would probably die at Ren’s hand. The people actually liked you. Ren was cold, you were warm. When he was sharp, you were soft. It worked well, his ability to command troops and fuel the fires of war was complimented perfectly by your ability to talk nearly anyone to your side.

You never wavered in your support for him, ever loyal by his side no matter what he did or who he killed or how many villages he burned to the ground. You stood next to him, never behind, when new planets presented themselves as potential allies. You watched from above when he burned villages, that dared aid the Resistance, to the ground. You cleaned and healed every single wound he received from Snoke’s brutal training. You held him together when the pull to the light made him feel weak and undeserving.

Anyone could see that you were the sun that Kylo Ren revolved around.

So, when he came back to Starkiller on that fateful day, covered in blood- your blood-, announcing that you were dead- and he was the one who killed you-, and that your name was never to be uttered on his base or by any First Order subordinate ever again, no one knew what to do.

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a/n - hi!!! im so excited for this story, ive never written star wars before and my lore knowledge isnt the best ill admit, so please excuse any minor bits of pieces i may get wrong! comments/likes/reblogs always appreciated. if you wanna be added to the taglist, just ask and ill make one! :D

no permission is given to copy or republish my writing on any other platform or account. if you see this story outside of my blog or my ao3 it is stolen work. i do not own nor claim to own star wars or any of the character involved in it.

#kylo ren #kylo #ren #kylo ren x reader #ren x reader #kylo ren x you #kylo ren/reader #kylo ren/you #kylo x you #kylo/you #reader insert #star wars fanfiction

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celestialmark · 4 years

Text

Lacuna - Part Five (Finale)

- Characters: Johnny Suh x reader, members of nct - Category: single parent au, fluff, slight angst - Word count: 8.2k - Warnings: minimal cursing - Navigation: prologue | part one | part two | part three | part four | part five | epilogue - Author’s notes: how is this the last part already ;~; I hope you like it!! I was so emotional writing this ;; it might be a mess sorry slkdjsfhsdjf we have the epilogue left so I'll write a longer thank you message then ;;

The days seem to blur together in a haze as you barely notice the slight drop in temperatures to indicate winter’s arrival. Even though you’ve been at home the past few days with the autumn break rolling into the change in season, you hardly recognise the way the leaves have changed their colours, from luscious greens to bright hues of yellows and oranges. You’re so caught up in your thoughts that when Johnny resumes his frequent visits for Youngho, you just stare blankly at him, his words from that night still too loud in your head.

Today is no different, you’re gawking at him with empty eyes when he slips himself in the doorway, ready to collect Youngho to fulfil his promise of taking him out to a kid’s café that was recommended to him by his colleagues at work. He meets your eyes momentarily and you’re too unfocused to even realise he’s gazing at your pale features with worry. Youngho comes running down the stairs then and that’s when he only looks away from you.

Youngho is tugging at your sleeve and that’s the only time you finally come back to your senses. “Mommy, I’ll see you later,” he mumbles from below you.

You nod quickly, bending down to kiss his cheek, “Have fun okay?” your voice is hoarse and the unfamiliar sensation of pain in your throat is only being picked up by you now. You clear your throat, scrunching your face slightly when you do, swallowing carefully after it. “Love you.”

Right when you finish helping Youngho zip up his jacket, you rise to stand straight away and you instantly regret it when you feel your head spin. You’re grabbing at the wall beside you for support and that’s when you’re convinced there was something definitely wrong, not to mention the way your body feels warm too.

Johnny is watching you with knitted brows, great worry bubbling inside him more than he’ll ever admit. Distancing himself from you the past couple of weeks was proving to be so much harder than he had initially expected and looking at you now, there was nothing more he wanted than to look after you because anyone could tell, your body was starting to give way.

“Ready?” He asks Youngho as he offers his hand for him to take.

“Ready!” Youngho cheers, holding Johnny’s hand.

Johnny turns to you before leaving and you’re trying so hard to keep your eyes open, the dizziness too much for you. Maybe it’s because you’d forgotten to eat breakfast this morning despite sitting with Youngho to make sure he ate his.

“My parents.. They want to meet Youngho this weekend,” Johnny starts, briefly glancing at Youngho with a smile at the mention of his grandparents. “Is that okay with you?”

You nod weakly, “That’s okay.”

“They want you there too.”

You blink hard, Johnny becoming blurry by the minute, and repeating his words in your head to make sure you heard right. “M-me?”

You barely see Johnny nod, “Yeah. They want to see you.”

You nod too quickly, not even sparing it anymore thought, wanting nothing else but for the two to leave so you could finally lie down. “Yeah, okay.”

When Johnny finally leaves with Youngho, his gaze on you lingering a little longer, you’re quick to slide the glass doors shut with a lot more difficulty, your limbs suddenly feeling too weak, your legs almost giving way as you trudge upstairs to your bedroom. You don’t remember much after you fall in slumber as soon as you close your eyes under the comfort of your covers.

All you knew was that you weren’t feeling great and missing Johnny too much wasn’t helping either.

Some hours in the evening, you’re woken up by the ringing of your phone. You’re groaning in pain when you’re shuffling under the covers to locate it, your eyes squinting immediately when you come face to face with the screen. You see Taeyong’s name on the screen and it disappears just when your finger is about to press the green button to accept his call. On your home screen, you see a bunch of missed calls and texts, with Taeyong’s name at the very top recording seven missed calls and ten messages. You’re about to open one of his messages when his name reappears on your screen again, this time with you catching it just in time.

“Hello?”

“Y/n! Where have you been!” Taeyong sounds worried over the other end of the line.

“Sorry, I’ve been sleeping all day.”

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah I’m- actually no, my head hurts and I can’t move.”

“What? Oh god, okay I’m coming.”

You’re not alarmed when you subtly hear the door being unlocked downstairs a short twenty minutes later, remembering Taeyong owned spare keys to your place. You’re trembling under your skin when he opens the door to your bedroom, peeking his head in first.

“Y/n?”

“In here Yong.”

Taeyong drops the plastic bag in his hand on the floor with a soft thud as he scurries to pull the covers from your face to reveal you as pale as ever and sweat running down your forehead. Taeyong lands the back of his hand on your forehead, and sure enough you were absolutely burning.

“You’re running a fever,” he says calmly, though inside his slightly panicking. “Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”

You smile weakly, “I thought it’d go away if I had some sleep.”

You just about see Taeyong roll his eyes before you’re closing yours again, the pounding of your head too unbearable. “Yeah and see where that brought you.”

“Stop nagging already,” you tease, pulling the covers closer to your body.

“Where’s Youngho?” Taeyong asks as he shuffles around your room to look for a small towel.

“He’s out with Johnny.”

Taeyong disappears from your room and reappears a minute later with a damp towel in his hands. He places it on top of your forehead but not before dabbing your whole face with it to cool you down. He leaves that on for five minutes until he’s tugging at your arm to help you sit up on the bed. You protest at first, one hundred percent certain you didn’t have the energy to do so, but you try your best with Taeyong’s help, unprepared to hear another round of his nagging that will surely make your head ache even more.

“You need to take medicine, but you can’t have it on an empty stomach,” he points out, fluffing the pillows behind your back to make sure you’re comfortable. “I take it that you haven’t eaten anything all day?”

You smile sheepishly through hooded eyes and you don’t even miss the incredulous look on his face before his stretching down to retrieve something from the bag he’s brought with him.

You watch as he takes the lid off the bowl in his hands, your head falling back on the headboard, already feeling nauseous at the sight of food. “It’s just soup, even just try a few spoonfuls,” Taeyong explains, seeing you grimace even more when you get a whiff of it.

Taeyong succeeds in feeding you at least five spoonfuls before you nearly gag at the last one, the contents of your already empty stomach threatening to come back up after trying so hard to hold them down. Taeyong puts it away, knowing he’s pushed your limits and grabs a bottle of water followed by a small tablet in his palm.

“Here,” Taeyong says, handing the two over to you. “This should bring the fever down and ease the body aches too.”

You smile gratefully, swallowing the tablet and downing nearly half of the water bottle, eager to get better already because you were tired of having no energy left even though it’s only been a mere day. Taeyong helps you settle back in bed, breathing a sigh of relief when you find yourself in a comfortable position.

“What happened anyway? How did you get sick?” Taeyong asks lowly, switching the lights off in your room and turning on the dim lamp by your bedside table.

“Not sure. Maybe it’s the change in weather,” you suggest, clearly not telling him the part where you’d been unable to sleep properly the past few nights.

Taeyong is tidying up around your room and you hope your lie goes unnoticed by him, though a big part of you knew you could never hide from him. He doesn’t say anything though, and you mentally thank him just as your exhaustion lulls you back to sleep.

You’re so deep in sleep that you don’t wake up to the doorbell ringing downstairs a few hours after Taeyong arrived. When he opens the door, Johnny is immediately raising his brow at the sight of his friend, confused as to why he’s greeting him instead of you, a sick feeling already pitting at the bottom of his stomach as he releases Youngho from his arms.

“Hey John,” Taeyong smiles. “Hey little one!”

Youngho is grinning at Taeyong when he ruffles his hair.

“Hey Tae, where’s y/n?” Johnny asks, ducking his head to see if you were anywhere in sight behind Taeyong.

“She’s sleeping upstairs,” Taeyong replies. “She’s not well.”

“Mommy’s not well?” Youngho pipes up from below big eyes ogling at Taeyong. “What happened?”

“Mommy just has a fever, that’s all,” Taeyong answers with a smile to ease the child’s concerns. “She just needs to rest.”

Youngho is racing up the stairs in a lightning speed after he kicks his shoes off, not even bothering to take his coat off of him. Johnny enters the house and locks the door behind him, almost too eager to see you just as much as Youngho was, but holding himself back with every fibre of his being so as to not crumble, though he was so close to doing just that.

Johnny watches Taeyong who’s showing Youngho how to gently dab at your face with the towel in his small hand by the doorway and when Youngho gets the hang of it, Taeyong rises to join Johnny who’s leaning on the doorframe, studying your sleeping figure. Maybe if he had let go of his pride earlier, it wouldn’t have come to this, already having a strong hunch something was off with you in the morning.

“She alright?” Johnny asks lowly, still gazing over you.

“Yeah. Just pretty tired and body aches everywhere. But her fever’s coming down and she took some medicine earlier,” Taeyong replies before turning to Johnny. “Is everything okay between you two?”

“What?”

“Y/n says she got sick because of the weather. But we all know that’s a lie. The woman looks like she hasn’t slept in years. By the looks of it, she seems to have lost some weight too. I think that’s why her body gave in,” Taeyong points out truthfully, not buying your lie from a few hours back. “Did.. something happen between you two?”

Johnny’s heart drops, feeling responsible for your current state and mentally blaming himself for the deterioration of your health. He lets his eyes wander over you again and then at his son who looks more worried than ever as he tends to you. If he was being honest, he wasn’t sure what has happened either, the memory of seeing Doyoung with you still so fresh in his head, it blocks all his other thoughts out and his ability to come up with sound reasoning. All he knows is that he was a mess from all of this.

Taeyong takes Johnny’s silence as his answer, along with the worried glint in his eyes that glaze over your tired body.

“Whatever this whole thing between you is, you need to fix it. And you need to fix it fast.”

You awake a little past two in the morning, the sound of the television downstairs traveling all the way to reach your room, your open bedroom door allowing for it to reach your ears. You reach for the towel on your forehead and take it off, setting it aside and shuffle yourself to the edge of the bed until you can swing your legs to the side. The pounding of your head is gone and you were no longer in a sweating mess, nor did you feel anymore shivers. When you look down, you recognise you’re in a hoodie compared to this morning, only clad in a thin shirt, this one seeming to be one you’ve never seen before and it most definitely did not smell like you. Nonetheless, it’s comfortable and it’s keeping you warm despite the hugeness of it swallowing almost more than half of your body.

When you reach the bottom of the stairs, you notice the pair of shoes by the doorway, one you know definitely did not belong to you or Youngho, the size too big for either of you. Is Taeyong still here? Your eyes widen then when you remember Youngho, only dawning onto you now about your lack of knowledge of his whereabouts after not having seen him all day. You hurry your steps when your first instinct is to check the living room, your soul almost leaving your body thinking about your son. But you breathe a sigh of relief when you find him in the living room, fast asleep under what appears to be some sort of makeshift fort. What surprises you though, is the person next to him, cradling him as he sleeps.

Johnny is there, fast asleep like Youngho was, draped loosely in a blanket that was barely big enough to shelter him from the cold, the majority of it covering Youngho instead. You lean on the doorframe for a few minutes, the sight warming your insides, Johnny’s devotion to Youngho as a dad so endearing you wish things would just work themselves out so that in any other situation, this could become a sight you would love coming home to every day.

You move stealthily across the living room and retrieve the remote control to turn of the television and exercise extra caution when you tiptoe around the fort, carefully kneeling down on the floor. As quietly as you could and as gentle as your body allowed you, you gently take Youngho in your arms, the child moving slightly in your arms, automatically wrapping his arms around your neck and leaning his head against your shoulder. You pause when you retreat, watching Johnny move in his sleep, turning to face the other way. Thankful you didn’t wake him, you exit the living room quietly and head for Youngho’s room where you can put him to bed.

Right after kissing Youngho good night on the forehead, you leave his room and head for the extra room in the house where you’ve kept extra blankets and extra pillows. You grab two pillows and a relatively large blanket for Johnny so that he’s warm for the rest of the night. You set your things down on the couch when you re-enter the living room, reaching for the light switch so that the room dims with either lamps on two corners of the room illuminating the place. Johnny’s still in the same spot you left him in just five minutes ago and you grab the blanket first to place it on top of the blanket Youngho was previously in. You’re careful not to wake him, tugging at the corners so that it covers his entire body, keeping a close eye on him just in case your gestures woke him up in any way.

You tilt your head to the side, grimacing at how flat his head laid on the carpeted floor, the position of it sure to leave his neck sore in the morning. So you grab one of the pillows from the couch and set it beside you. You feel nervous for what you’re about to do next but you push through with it anyway, wanting to look after this man in front of you. You move closer to him, scooping your arm under his neck gently before drawing strength to lift him up slightly. You take the pillow with your free hand and skillfully slide it under his head, setting him back down without waking him.

You’re about to retract your arm from under him when you suddenly feel his arms circle around your waist, tightening them and pulling you towards him, causing you to fall forward until your body is lying on top of his. Needless to say, the pace of your heart skyrockets even more, your face abruptly really close to his. You watch his face in silence and he opens his eyes momentarily, as if peeking at you before he closes them again, his head moving against the pillow until he’s comfortable.

“Johnny-“

“Stay here with me like this.”

“But-“

You’re not sure why you’re protesting because Johnny’s arms are literally the most comfortable place to be in right now.

“Just for tonight,” he murmurs, his features unmoving. “Please.”

“Okay.”

Johnny trails one of hands upwards so he can gently lay your head against his chest. He keeps it rested there though, softly stroking your hair in hopes of lulling you to sleep. You’re careful when you remove your hand from under his neck and you don’t know what takes over you next, maybe it’s the years of longing for this man or maybe it’s all the pent up affection and the mere desire of wanting to be with him, but you let your arm drape across his body, pulling yourself closer to him.

You’re anticipating Johnny’s reaction, but when he sighs out of what you make out to be relief, you close your eyes finally, comfort settling in your chest knowing you’re going to get the best sleep in what feels like forever. You can hear Johnny’s steady heartbeat, the echo of it in your ears tugging at your heartstrings, knowing all too well that this may be the first and last time you may ever be this close to him. You try to push the thought aside and worry about it for another day, because right now, Johnny was here, holding you in all the right ways that makes all the broken parts of you come together again.

You feel Johnny’s grip around your waist tighten, consequently making warming you in his arms.

“You look great in my hoodie by the way.”

When the weekend arrives, you feel your nerves take over your entire body, looking at yourself in the mirror for the hundredth time, poking at your hair, still very unsatisfied no matter which way it settled. You pull at the ends of the knot that you’ve made on the scarf that keeps your hair out of your face, studying your features in the mirror, suddenly growing all too conscious with how you looked. You shouldn’t be nervous, you tell yourself, you’re meeting people you’ve known from before and better yet, two of the kindest people you know.

“Mommy! Daddy’s here!”

Your eyes are about to pop of its sockets when you come face to face with Johnny at the front door. It was like looking at yourself in the mirror, kind of. Johnny wore almost the exact same clothes as you; a loose white dress shirt tucked into a pair of black slacks that stop right at his ankles, matching his look with white shoes that look almost the exact same as yours. The only difference was that you were sporting a pair of light brown trousers. Johnny takes a doubletake at you and a smile appears on his face at the unexpected coincidence.

Youngho switches his attention between the both of you, happy that the three of you seemed to colour coordinate, with his white shirt and black jeans. For the first time since meeting Johnny, he actually feels like a family with the two of you like this.

“Johnny, hi,” you breathe after you finish scrutinising him from head to toe, something you hoped he hadn’t noticed. You’re suddenly nervous in front of him too, the mere memory of that night you’d spend together in the living room, coming to mind. Were things going to look up from here?

“Hey,” Johnny greets with a small smile. “Ready?”

You nod and turn to the side, “Let me just grab my coat.” You’re about to reach for your black trench coat when you realise that if you do go ahead and wear this one, coincidentally looking the exact same as the one Johnny’s wearing, it would definitely seem that you two planned this. So you reach out further on the other end of the rack, opting for another colour instead, settling with a darker shade of brown.

“Ready,” you announce when you manage to slip yourself into the coat.

Johnny wished you picked the black coat instead.

You’re quiet the whole car ride, unconsciously picking at your fingers as you stare out the window with the landscape whizzing past you. Johnny and Youngho’s conversations are drowned out by your ears with the screaming of your thoughts, a million scenarios of how today might turn out playing in your mind and sending your nerves further on the edge. It reminds of you of the day you first set out to let Johnny meet Youngho for the first time, your anxieties skyrocketing when your overthinking self clouded all the potential good outcomes of the meeting. But it was somewhat different this time, because this was Johnny’s parents you were talking about, the very people whom Johnny has dedicated half of his life working hard for.

You involuntarily release a sigh when you lower your head, your eyes now trained on your palms resting on your lap. The thought of Johnny’s parents finding about Youngho completely flew out of your mind, the recent events more than enough to occupy your thoughts. And now that it was finally happening, you were suddenly worried of what they might think. Would they think horribly of you? For keeping Johnny’s son from him? Are they going to like Youngho? How was Youngho going to react? Would they comment about your parenting—

Your train of worries get interrupted when you feel a hand land on your arm. When you look to your side, you find Johnny’s eyes trained on the road for a second before briefly turning his head to look at you. His smile that follows is comforting and he gives your arm a light squeeze, almost as if hearing your thoughts.

At that moment, despite feeling nervous, you knew you were going to be alright.

You feel your knees grow weak as you wait outside the front door of a house you’ve never been to before, the Suh residences having changed over the past few years, the building in front of you way bigger than the last, but emitting the same homey feeling with the various plants and flowers placed generously by the front porch and the driveway. You’re squeezing Youngho’s hand tight with your eyes plastered permanently on the white door, the child seemingly a lot more excited to be meeting his grandparents, a complete contrast to how you were taking all of this in.

You don’t realise Johnny ducking his head to take a peek at you and sees how tense you’ve gotten. He’s about to say something when the front door swings open then, revealing Mrs Suh who’s already smiling up to her eyes. Your eyes widen when you see her and you don’t get a chance to greet her first when you’re launched straight into her arms as she pulls you with both of her hands, squeezing you tight.

“Y/n!” she exclaims, patting your back and letting go of you briefly, holding you by the shoulders to take one good look at you. “You haven’t changed at all! You look even more beautiful than I remember you last!” and then she hugs you again, her motherly instincts immediately making you relax. From her shoulder, you see Mr Suh who’s smiling at you fondly and you return it, happy to see they were still the people you remember them to be; welcoming and warm.

“How are things Mrs Suh,” you chuckle, loosening up when she lets go of you.

“Good good!” Mrs Suh exclaims and glares at Johnny momentarily, “I keep telling this guy over here to bring you sooner, I’m glad he finally granted my wishes.” Her eyes then travel to Youngho looking up at her from in between you and Johnny. Her eyes widen but the smile returns on her face just as fast. “Oh my goodness and who do we have here! Youngho, isn’t it?”

Mr Suh steps forward and gives your shoulder a squeeze, a fatherly smile adorning his features, “It’s good to see you, y/n.”

Your smile widens, remembering how these two made you feel so at home from the past and as you look down at Youngho, you see him smiling at Mrs Suh, knowing all too well it’s her motherly demeanour that’s gotten him very comfortable with the stranger he’s meeting for the first time ever.

“I’m Youngho,” your son confirms and you see Mrs Suh coo at him immediately.

Mrs Suh shares a glance with Mr Suh, already smitten with her grandson, “He looks exactly like Johnny,” he murmurs to his husband before returning her attention to Youngho, crouching down in the process. “Hi Youngho, it’s so lovely to meet you. I’m your dad’s mum,” he gestures to Mr Suh who’s waving at him, “And this is his dad.”

“Grandma,” Youngho utters, shifting his gaze between the two, remembering the conversation he’s had with Johnny to prepare him for today, “And grandad.”

Mrs Suh nods eagerly, “Yes! Yes! That’s right!”

And you swear you almost see Mrs Suh tear up when Youngho lets go of both yours and Johnny’s hands so he can step forward and give her a hug. Mr Suh watches in silence with a smile, sharing a glance with Johnny who’s smiling just as wide.

Youngho takes it all in well, conversing with Johnny’s parents over lunch and even making them laugh over the table as they look at him with admiration in their eyes. Johnny was right, you really had nothing to worry about. These were Johnny’s parents after all, the very extension of him, the kindest and purest soul you know. You get the opportunity to catch up with them too, filling them up on the five years, on how your life’s progressed and what you do for a living now and you feel so loved, because Mr and Mrs Suh have always been so genuine and today was definitely no different. And as you watch and listen to the four of them converse, you can’t help but feel a little empty inside, imagining this sight to be a part of your daily life if only things hadn’t become so complicated with you and Johhny. In an alternate universe, everything would go in your favour, things would be much simpler and time would be on your side.

When lunch is over, you’re helping Mrs Suh with the dishes by the kitchen while the boys are out in the garden touring curious Youngho around, having squealed earlier at the sight of a mini playground provided and set up just for him by his grandparents. Mrs Suh is washing the dishes while you stand right beside her, drying everything she hands to you with the towel in your hands.

“I’m so happy you came to visit us today y/n, it’s so good to see you,” she says, smiling to herself.

You smile unknowingly, “It’s been so nice to see you too, it really has been a while.”

“All this while we didn’t know you were raising your son on your own,” her tone suddenly drops, a hint of regret in her voice though she did nothing wrong. “I’m so sorry you had to go through all of that by yourself.”

You shake your head, taking a plate from her, “No no, please don’t be. It was my decision not to let Johnny know, I had to take responsibility for it. And sorry too, for not letting you know sooner.”

You see Mrs Suh nod from the corner of your eye. “Johnny told me the whole thing. His dad and I, were so shocked to hear it at first but more than anything, we were delighted he had a son, and even more so, that he had a son with you.”

Your smile disappears as you lower your head, a tightness forming in your chest. You don’t speak, not really sure what to say to that as you continue to dry the utensils that’s being handed to you. You don’t realise you’ve worked through all the dishes until you see Mrs Suh turning the tap off, patting her hands dry on the apron that’s wrapped around her waist. She turns around then with you following suit, leaning on the counter to stare out the window that revealed the back garden, Johnny and his dad talking amongst themselves while keeping an eye on Youngho who’s entertaining himself by the swings.

“Johnny.. you know he’s always wanted to have family of his own,” Mrs Suh starts, looking right ahead. “You don’t know how happy he was when he told us he was a father.”

You fiddle with your fingers, knowing this all too well, the talks of the future from your younger years spent with Johnny suddenly popping up in your head.

“We always felt so guilty because we felt like he couldn’t make decisions for himself, you know, with his early involvement in the family company. We felt like he was more obligated to take over it rather than actually want to inherit it,” Mrs Suh sighs. “We feel like he lost so much because he chose it over what he actually wanted, and that was to stay with you, y/n.”

Mrs Suh takes one of your hands in hers and envelops it between both of her palms. The gesture eases the pain inside, the hole in your heart getting bigger by the minute for everything that could have been.

“The only wish I have for him now is for him to do whatever he wants. To actually go for what he wants this time. Unapologetically.”

Meanwhile, outside, where the sun is shining and the trees are swaying to the wind, Johnny and his dad fall into conversation about you and your life with Youngho without your knowledge as they watch over the child, still too engrossed with what his grandparents had prepared for him. Johnny’s kicking at the ground, palms stuffed in his pockets, happy that his son was having a great time, even when he’s playing by himself.

“So how’s the situation between you and y/n?” Mr Suh casually asks, affection in his eyes as he lets his gaze follow Youngho’s every move.

“Good. I take Youngho every now and again when I have some free time,” Johnny replies, though knowing his dad is going to press on the matter further.

“And how is she taking that?”

Johnny nods his head, lowering his gaze to the ground, “Alright. She’s happy for me to do it. I just really want to make it up to Youngho, so I try my best.”

“And what are you doing to make it up to her?”

Johnny halts the motions of his feet, rooting them both to the ground as he lifts his head to look at his dad who hasn’t moved an inch. It gets Johnny thinking. What was he doing to make it up to you? Another wave of guilt settles in when nothing comes to mind, when he realises that he was probably making your situation worse by being so indifferent towards you.

Mr Suh inhales a deep breath, finally tearing his eyes off Youngho and letting his eyes glaze over his back garden, to which Mrs Suh has carefully and consistently tended to over the years. Knowing his son too well, his silence says it all.

“You need to do better,” Mr Suh suggests. “Y/n has obviously done such a great job raising Youngho by herself for four years. Don’t you think she deserves a little more credit than what you’re giving her?”

Mr Suh was right.

“You’re not getting back together?”

“No, Dad.”

“May I ask why?” This time, Mr Suh turns his head to meet Johnny’s eyes, a gentle expression on his aged features.

“It’s complicated.”

“It’s only complicated if you make it to be complicated,” he says, knowing the despair in Johnny’s eyes all too well for having witnessed them every single day for the past five years. “You don’t give up on the people you want to keep in your life, John.”

“I know that. It’s just—” Johnny sighs and directs his gaze to Youngho in the distance. Johnny doesn’t finish his sentence when he realises he really doesn’t know what to say, no words seeming to match what he feels.

Mr Suh follows Johnny’s gaze as another smile grazes his lips. “You’ve waited five years, son. She’s right here in front of you. You have a child together. That’s your whole world in your hands.”

Mr Suh pauses and lands a palm on Johnny’s shoulder, patting it.

“You don’t let go of that, ever.”

Johnny’s mulling over his dad’s words over and over again in his head, occasionally glancing at you in the passenger seat on the drive to your house. He knew his dad was right, he really did have the world right in the palm of his hands, two of the people whom he would literally do anything for, so close to him. There were so many questions he wanted to ask you, so many things he’s been wanting to say. But the fear of knowing and finding out all the answers to whatever would come out of his mouth always made him cower away, the pain of leaving you too almost too unbearable for him in the past, naturally inching him closer to refusal of acknowledging what he felt for fear of experiencing the exact same thing all over again should you not feel the same.

He lacked courage. He knew that. You have always been the one with more guts between the two of you.

He feels your eyes on him when he kisses Youngho good night after tucking him in bed, suddenly wanting this to be a part of his daily routine, with you being the first and last thing he sees the moment he wakes and the moment he sleeps. He gazes at you and you’re the first to look away and walk out of Youngho’s room. He follows not too long after and he meets you at the bottom of the staircase, a paper bag in your hands.

“Your hoodie,” you say lowly, handing him the bag. “Thanks for lending it to me.”

Johnny nods, “How are you feeling?”

“Better.”

“Yeah?”

“Hm.”

There’s silence in the air but Johnny holds his gaze and you don’t have the heart to look away. In any other given situation, this would be the perfect time to tell him everything but the only thing was that you had no clue where to start, still not having a clue why Johnny had been behaving in such a way that he has been.

“Johnny can we please talk?” You finally ask and for the first time ever, it seems like Johnny will say yes, that he’ll finally be able to hear you out even though you weren’t in any obligation to explain yourself. But at this point, you just wanted to do anything to get him to talk.

Johnny braces himself because he feels like he’s going to crack soon, the plan he had so badly wanted to execute, to save himself and prevent a repeat of the past, becoming nothing more than a small thought at the back of his head because he knew, his feelings for you were always going to overpower everything else.

“Okay,” Johnny says.

And you smile because finally. Maybe tonight things will change.

But they don’t. Because your phone begins to ring and the name that appears on your screen, one that Johnny happens to read, leaves a bitter taste on his mouth, a slap of reality hitting him like a truck. He’s reminded of the very reason why he had to stay away from you in the first place.

And it’s enough to convince Johnny that there was nothing that needed to be talked about tonight after all.

“Doie— I’ll call you back.”

But Johnny is already out the door.

On a Friday afternoon, after school, Johnny picks Youngho up from school and brings him to his favourite ice cream parlour despite the chilly autumn weather, with Youngho vowing never to tell you for having such dessert at such weather after having convinced Johnny to take him there. Johnny’s dabbing at the corner of Youngho’s lip with a tissue when a smudge of his chocolate ice cream stains it, smiling at him fondly before returning to his own honeycomb ice cream.

Youngho scoots closer to Johnny on the booth, licking his bottom lip before speaking. “Daddy, is everything okay with you and mommy?”

Johnny’s brows shoot up at the uncalled-for question and turns to his son, setting his ice cream cup on the table, “Hm? Of course. What made you ask?”

Youngho blinks and Johnny takes his cone from him when the ice cream begins to drip down his hand, proceeding to wipe his hand next and settling his cone on the stand on the table. “You don’t talk to each other as much as you used to,” Youngho points out innocently. “And mommy looks sad these days.”

Johnny freezes, letting his son’s words sink in, baffled at how much he’s overlooked in relation to how much Youngho would pick up. The thought of you sad makes his heart ache, remembering just how miserable you looked when you had gotten sick just weeks prior. “She does?”

Youngho nods and just his lips outward in a pout. “Yeah, she spaces out a lot too. Sometimes, I have to repeat myself to her.” His big eyes peer at Johnny’s, “Everything is okay right daddy? You didn’t fight with mommy or anything?”

Johnny tries to reassure Youngho with a smile, “No, of course not. Mommy and I didn’t fight.”

Youngho nods slowly, a small smile creeping on his face upon hearing Johnny’s words. “Well that’s good. Because mommy said she really misses you.”

“She said that?”

Youngho nods again, “For five years, she said.”

“She said that?”

“She also said she’s happy you’re my dad.”

Johnny doesn’t blink nor does he move from his spot, his son’s confessions suddenly too much for him to take in, a rush of images of you in his head piling in one by one during all the times he’s struggled to distance himself away from you. His heart drops at the memory of his conversation with his dad, that no matter how many times he’s mulled over his words, they didn’t seem to settle with him fully until this very moment.

“Youngho, what else did mommy say about me?”

Youngho taps at his chin in deep thought, “Nothing much else daddy. She just told me about how you both met when you were in university and how she didn’t really like you at first but that you won her heart over in the end.”

Johnny smiles, the memory of you finally agreeing to date him coming to mind, “Yeah. That’s true.” Johnny loses himself in his thoughts for a while, until finally asking Youngho things he should really be asking you. “Is mommy.. seeing someone else?”

Youngho blinks, “She’s seeing you.”

“No no baby, I mean like.. Doyoung?”

“Mister Doie?” Youngho repeats, confusion visible on his face. “I haven’t seen him in weeks daddy. He used to visit a lot more often, but not anymore. Uncle Yong says he likes mommy but I don’t think mommy likes him back.”

“You think so?”

“Hm! I think mommy likes you more.”

“I really like your mommy too.”

“Really?” Youngho beams and almost springs up to his seat but then grimaces just as fast. “It doesn’t seem like it though..”

“What do you mean?” Johnny asks, raising a brow.

Youngho sighs and pouts after. “I used to think you do. And then these days, I don’t think you do anymore. You don’t ask her if she’s eaten anymore.. And you don’t ask her to come out with us anymore too.”

Johnny closes his eyes, disappointed and remorseful. Anyone could tell from a mile away just how horrible he’s been treating you, heck, even his four-year-old son picked it up straight away. Maybe if he had just heard you out that night, things wouldn’t have gotten this far, to the point where even his own son is questioning the stability of your relationship.

“Youngho I want you to know that I love her more than anything else.”

With Youngho spending a lot more time with Johnny, you’ve gotten a lot more time for yourself to think. The following days following that night are still a blur to you. The only difference now was that you got a text message from Johnny’s mum every now and again to check up on you, asking you if you needed anything of all sorts with the occasional invitation to come and visit them with Youngho again. Seeing Johnny take out Youngho on agreed days of the week got harder and harder because with every short visit and with every encounter with you that seemed to only last a few mere seconds, Johnny felt more distant than ever. Gazes become glances and greetings were shortened to one word replies from the both of you. It was wrecking your head to say the least because you didn’t even get the chance to confront what happened that night in the living room. You knew it was going to be a short lived happiness, but with Johnny’s uninterested demeanour and refusal to even look at you for longer than a minute was beginning to suffocate you.

But then your earlier conversations with Johnny resurface in your head and you feel stupid then. Because you remember that Johnny is only here to be Youngho’s dad. Nothing more and nothing less. And not only has Johnny’s cold and unusual behaviour thrown you off, the reminder of the fact that he’s only here to adhere to his responsibilities as a dad make it all the more harder in a sense that you were sure you wanted something more than that.

Admitting to yourself you wanted him was already difficult enough, but forcing yourself to accept it wasn’t possible made everything hurt again like it was just yesterday.

If he’s made up his mind. Then you’ve definitely made up yours.

You’ve lost your first love before. And that was enough pain for this lifetime.

No more.

You’re jolted awake from your thoughts when the doorbell echoes through the house. You find the mailman outside and in his hands are a bunch of envelopes you presume are for you. After a short greeting and a thank you for all his hard work, you retreat back into the comfort of your home, scanning through the various envelopes now in your hands. They’re all addressed to you but what catches your eye is the small brown envelope with your name and address inked on it, the envelope looking like it has aged years. You set the other letters down on the kitchen counter as you analyse the one in your hand, making wild guesses to whom the handwriting on the envelope might belong to. It seems oddly familiar, but when no great assumptions come to mind, you go ahead and open it.

Your heart drops as soon as you begin reading.

22nd December 2014 Dear y/n,

I don’t even know if this letter is going reach you. The post box instruction says they post the letters on a specific date you choose and I’m not sure why I chose a date in five years time either. Maybe because I want to know how you’re doing, which doesn’t make sense either because I know you’re never going write back.

I miss you. Hell, I was missing you even when we were together all the time. It’s winter here but today feels a little warmer than all the other days. And it made me think of you, you always preferred the warm than the cold. But that’s a lie though, I haven’t stopped thinking about you since. It’s been three months since I left and I still can’t get you out of my head. I hate that I had to leave because you know, if I didn’t need to, I wouldn’t have. I hope that when I’ve made a name for myself, that when I’m able to finally give you the life you deserve, that you’d still be there, that I wouldn’t be too late because I know you’re the only one I want to spend the rest of my life with.

If you’re married and settled down by the time this comes to you and if this post box really does work, you can just toss this in the bin and forget I ever wrote this. I hope he treats you good because you deserve nothing but good.

I wish you well, y/n. I miss you every day.

Love, Suh Youngho.

When Johnny comes through your front door after having spent the whole day with Youngho who’s fallen asleep in his arms, you try not to cry because this was Johnny. The very man you wanted to spend your whole life with, carrying your most prized possession in your whole life. When he comes back down after setting Youngho in bed, the tears you’ve been trying to keep in the whole day ever since reading his letter, are already falling. He’s about to say goodbye to you for the night but the sight of your tears make him stop in his tracks along with the sight of his letter in your hands.

Now was definitely the right time to address everything unspoken between the two of you, regardless of the decisions you’ve both made not to pursue everything you both didn’t get to continue back then.

“That letter..” Johnny almost whispers, his chest beginning to heave, too stunned to move closer to you.

“Why?” You ask helplessly, your voice cracking. “Is.. this letter.. Everything in it.. Is it true?”

Johnny holds his gaze on you, biting down on his teeth and forcing himself to be tough but how could he be when you were crying, and the reason was because of him.

“Yes.”

Your crystal tears continue to fall at his confirmation. “Then why.. Why do you keep pushing me away like that? And you pull me back and then act like nothing happened?”

“Y/n, it’s not like that, you don’t understand—”

“Then make me understand,” you sob, your fingers trembling. You’ve never missed Johnny this much in your whole life and he was just right here, standing in the same room as you. Months of frustration, years of longing, weeks of pining all boiled down to this.

Johnny runs a hand through his hair in a frustrated manner, all the pent up difficulties of having to avoid you these past few weeks finally catching up to him, knowing that you never really understood how hard it was for him to do so.

“You have no idea y/n. You have no fucking idea of what I went through because of you,” Johnny says lowly, suddenly deflecting the blame on you, which wasn’t his intention.

You release an exasperated sigh, your tears barely allowing you to see Johnny. “Oh wow! So it’s my fault now? Johnny Suh let me remind you, you’re the one who’s been ignoring me these past few weeks! I didn’t even do anything!”

“Didn’t do anything?” Johnny retorts, hating the person he’s becoming right now in front of you because his frustrations were too high, and his anger was taking over. “You’ve already made up your mind y/n! I get it! You chose Doyoung! You chose him over and over again right in front me!”

“Johnny do you even hear yourself right now? You didn’t even give me a chance to explain! You walked out on me—”

“Explain what?!”

“That I choose you!” You almost yell, your voice raising, your tears still unending. Your whole body’s shaking and you’re trying to catch your breath but there’s too much to say and you feel like you’re running out of time. “That it’s always been you! That it doesn’t fucking matter who’s after my heart because I only want yours!”

You hold up the letter in your hand, “So tell me what I need to do now because I can’t read you Johnny Suh. You say one thing and do another and I’m tired. I’m so tired of trying to guess you all the time and—”

You barely see Johnny storming over to you and you have to grab at his arms to keep yourself standing because the next thing you know he’s cupping your face and kissing your lips.

Your world is spinning and you’re still crying but Johnny keeps you close and steady, his lips firms on yours.

And in this kiss, you feel Johnny promise everything was going to be okay.

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