#y’all remember Laurie right?

[spocksgotemotions]

hey. if you were an American child born in the late 90s early 2000s, do yourself a favor and look up the Laurie Berkner band. And remember what we had.

#captain’s own #dumb bitch hours #personal logs #I recognize my experiences may not be universal #but she is iconic #We are the dinosaurs? Incredible. Wonderful way to roar so fun #The Goldfish? Literally a masterclass of lyricism #I know I know them better than most people cause I have listened to them regularly since the time I was 14 and volunteering #but please #y’all remember Laurie right? #you have to

[stressedemoblackbratz]

sorrows

pairing: fezco x black!fem!reader

warnings: swearing, angst, mentions of drugs.

a/n: all i gotta say is teehee because y’all are about to hate me again. this will have three parts, letting you know now in advance. if you do end up enjoying, my taglist for this is here and in my navigation. add yourself if you want to be added. also, in this visiting Laurie a few minutes before going to the New Years party didn’t happen. now onto the story </3

words: 1.6k + not proofread

part two | part three

you don’t miss me, babe. don’t know why you’re trying to convince me, babe.

for as long as Ashtray could remember you were a constant in his life. he vaguely remembered when you’d come by with a fresh set of braids, a tense neck, gel on your forehead, and beads loudly clacking when you were 12.

Kitty would always giggle at you and Fez. one of her last memories with you all before she got sick was her catching you and Fez holding hands during a movie. he had just picked you two up from school, dropped you off at her home, then ran down the street and around the corner to get Ash from the local babysitter.

“oh?” she asked from behind the couch, starling you two as Ash sat on her hip.

“you two are so precious.” She cooed as the two of you watched her with wide eyes, hands now resting beside eachother.

“isn’t that right Ash?” she asked the boy who was more interested in the TV than the conversation around him.

he nodded yes and continued watching whatever SpongeBob movie it was.

those were the easier times. way before he started separating the red pills from the light blue ones. way before he had to crack Mouse in his shit. way before Laurie had her goons drag you, Rue, and the new found Faye out of the car and into stripping.

way before he saw Fez cry over a girl for the first time.

“i can’t keep fucking-“ Fez was caught by his own hiccups. Ashtray sat on the couch beside his brother with his eyes wide and filled with concern. “i can’t keep getting her caught up man.” Fez cried as Ash quickly went to hug his brother.

his older brother was breaking down and crumbling right before his own eyes.

Ash had just seen the biggest fight you two had. when the two of you argued, you barely yelled and he barely yelled, let alone even argue in front of him.

when Ash left the surveillance cameras due to the crying he heard he was shocked and hurt.

you were crying. nose stuffy and hands moving wilding repeatedly asking “Why?” in a broken voice.

he hated seeing you upset, but instead of comforting you he froze. he didn’t know what was going on.

Fez was looking at everything but at you grabbing his shirt and drenching it in tears.

“you fucking answer me!” you cried out. “did i do something? what did i do bro? what is it?! i promise i’ll do better just tell me.” you cried, the deep wails not even sound like you as they rumbled out of your body.

he had fucking broke you.

Fez looked at you then. his eyes were red from unshod tears and he was frantically shaking his head. you needed to know it had nothing to do with you, you were never a problem in his life.

you never would be.

“don’t say that shit.” he started to tell you, grabbing your arms and slowly walking forward, basically forcing you to walk backwards.

“don’t you even fucking say that shit. you didn’t do shit. i did it.” he said to you. you were almost to the door and he quickly unlocked it while you were listening to him in confusion.

“you did what? did Custer do something now?” you asked in a scared voice. it was enough dealing with Mouse and seeing Ash take him. you didn’t know if you could deal with more.

Fez couldn’t handle the fear in your eyes at his life.

“no baby it’s just…baby i’m no good for you.” Fez weakly said before quickly opening the door, pushing you back, and immediately slamming it back to lock it.

he heard you let out a frustrated groan before banging on his door.

“don’t be a fucking pussy Fez! you can’t do this. that doesn’t even make sense.” you hollered from behind the door.

Ash watched his brother bring his arm up and violently sob into his hoodie sleeve. he sagged to the floor. crying into himself as you banged on the door behind him.

“you can’t fucking do this to me!” you cried. your voice got more panicky and your crying became more gut wrenching for the two boys.

“you’re fucking perfect Fez! perfect! please don’t do this to me. i really can’t do this right now just please open the door you’re literally everything just..just fucking please.” your voice cracked at the end.

when you got no answer you let out a whine before crying into the night sky.

Ash slowly walked up to Fez and sat in front of his defeated figure slumped in front of the door.

“imma need you…” Ash started. “imma need you to get the fuck up and explain this shit, now.” Ash gritted out between his teeth, his own angry tears welling up in the back of his eyes as your cries pierced his ears.

eventually your crying didn’t stop, it just got further from the home and the rumble of your car started and peeled out from the front of the house.

“Laurie man.” Fez cried on the couch. “i can’t keep putting y/n through my shit. she’s too good for me and this.” he said harshly wiping at his face.

“i don’t want her hurt.” his voice cracked.

“so instead of expressing your concern and probably telling her she can’t come to drop offs and pick ups anymore after the other day, you instead just hurt her with no explanation?” Ash asked.

Fez’s face fell again before he solemnly nodded.

he did decide to do that.

“please just call me back. i want to fix this.” your voice weakly said in a voicemail you sent to Fez’s phone over a week ago. he was getting dressed for a party and waiting on Ash as he listened to it.

he played it pretty much everyday and each time he almost called you back.

“ayo Ash!” Fez called out again.

Ash stumbled into the room, his shirt over this eyes as he pulled it down to cover his tank top.

“alright alright. let’s fucking go bro.” his brother said finally getting his arms through the holes and grabbing the door handle.

Fez was first hit with the bass of the music and the yelling of his name from a group of people he knew all too well when he opened the front door.

he had gave Elliot a blunt before sitting on the couch and starting his work. his eyes scanned through the people that came to buy from. he was looking and hoping for you.

the second he left the house he knew if he saw you the charade was over. he was telling you what was up and that he didn’t want to break up. he was just scared of you getting hurt.

once the party was really starting up he had less and less people frequenting him, they we’re all currently getting high if they weren’t high already.

it wasn’t until he was relaxing and Lexi showed up that he saw you.

she looked like she was doing fine. her hair was beautiful and her body was banging in the dress. she was beautiful.

he had missed her.

he needed her.

your laughter drifted into his ears as you said something to Ethan and he found himself lost in your voice. he was listening to Lexi, but it was hard to keep up with her talk as you walked through the kitchen behind him.

“…so that happened, but i mean it’s still cool through right?” Lexi laughed. Fez had no idea what the fuck she was going on about, but he laughed and nodded to be nice.

Lexi saw his eyes drift to you and her smile dropped.

she could’ve swore he told her earlier they were over.

she saw his eyes follow you and McKay in the kitchen and she just knew he was in a trance.

placing her hand on his leg she caught his full attention then. laughing at his startled face he started laughing too.

“you good?” she asked as the laughing eventually seized.

“i’m uh…” Fez seemed to zone out, turning his eyes away from her eyes, his eyes now over her head and following something. Lexi was concerned then, his face was getting red and she was afraid something was wrong.

“Fez?” she called to him. when she got no response she got scared. had he already mentally went back to his ex?

right when she felt like they were developing a sense of liking to one another?

“F-Fez?” she called again in worry as he faced forward with his hands clenching.

“i’m pissed the fuck off, Lex.” the boy mumbled before getting up and walking away.

he had saw you grinding the body you had used to grind on him multiple times all over McKay.

right in fucking front of him. that was supposed to be him right now. so when he caught your eye? it was up from there.

Lexi followed his path and watched as he said something to a stunned McKay. pressing his body up against yours before dragging you to the back of the home.

she lost her sight of the two of you and deflated.

he seemed so close and now he was so far away.

“the fuck was that baby girl?” Fez asked you pulling at the bottom of your dress. your legs looked too good and he had to stop himself for gripping your thighs.

you just stared at him. no words leaving your glossed lips as you examined his reddened face.

how could you just whine on another dude in front of him like that? he knew you two had broken up, but had he really been that easy to get over?

Fez was jealous and convinced you had moved on.

he didn’t know what to do.

“i miss you baby. so please just say something.”

#euphoria #euphoria imagine #euphoria x reader #fezco euphoria #fezco x reader #rue bennett #elliot euphoria #nate jacobs #maddy perez #jules vaughn #fezco imagine #lexi howard #fezco x black!reader #fezco angst #fezco x y/n #fezco fanfic #fezco o'neill

[moreofem]

“Adultère”

Adultère: French for Adultery. 

pairing: Andy Barber x WOC!fem!Reader

Warnings: CHRISTMAS, emily trying to be a good fanfic writer and pretending she knows shit about male underwear, cheating, insecurities but y/n is THAT bitch though, swearing, smut: degradation, andy puts the pussy on a pedestal (as he should), unprotected sex: P in V (zon’t do it. zon’t do it….), light daddy kink + subspace, use of the word “cunt” ihkzlkadj, cheesy happy ending 

A/N: THIS IS FOR MY MAIN GIRLY JASMEEN ILY JAS THEE STALLION CAUSE ITS HER BDAY AND IT MOTIVATED ME TO WRITE SOMETHING FOR ONCE!! ❤️💞🥺 @cloudystevie

For Siri’s  @stargazingfangirl18‘s Happy Hoelidays Challenge! 

Prompt: Character A is having a sad, lonely holiday when Character B unexpectedly shows up to spend it with them

Since i’m a lazy, incompetant person, this is also for the Happy Hoelidays Challenge! Love u Siri, hope you’ll like this

chile not me giving y’all the bare minimum every two months. listen to Lana Del Rey and wake up your sugar baby instincts for maximum experience. Also, i didnt watch defending jacob cause as much as I love chris and shows in general i’m poor and lazy… And i wrote about boston. LAST TIME. my ny ass had a hard time rbhnkjdik // Also, i’m not that good with christmas stuff like.. I really don’t care that much about the christmas spirit and i’m so sorry cause IK you can feel it throughout the whole fic.

Word count: 4.6k+ 

 Oh it was good. Too good. So good. But it was saddening, so saddening. You were reminded everyday that he wasn’t yours, and he’d probably never be. It would remind you of how wrong it was, messing around with a married and family man. But you loved him so much you didn’t give a care in the world anymore. You just wanted him for yourself. How long had it been since the last time he promised he’d divorce her? Probably a few months ago, but he never did. You’d known him for years, and this affair had been going on for quite some time. He made promises to you, that he never kept. Promises whispered in your ears when he fucked you slowly, rutting into you and peppering sweet kisses on your breasts. Promises sang in your face when you danced in the kitchen, something he surprisingly enjoyed. Promises cooed when you cried or were angry, and complained about how you wanted everyone to know that you were his and he was yours, but at the same time, you were terrified that maybe Julie, the desk assistant, heard you getting absolutely railed on his desk the other day.

You remembered every word he told you.

“Baby... don’t cry, it’s ok, I’m sure no one heard us... and I’m the boss here, right? I’m the one who gets fired or not. And you? You’re gonna work there forever, babe...”

You’d sniffle and laugh softly in his hair, relishing the feeling of his strong hands rubbing your back.

•

You chewed nervously on your pen. You always did when Laurie was in the office, you felt like she’d discover everything you were doing with her husband just by looking at you, and you hated it. Your leg bounced as you listened to them argue for what seemed the hundredth time. “My marriage is in shambles anyways...” You remembered what Andy had told you once, and shook your head. Their marriage had been ruined for years, but they were still holding on to it like old string. You scribbled on a piece of paper, listening to their conversation.

“I don’t care Andy! I just asked you one simple task, and you can’t even do it! You’re always away in your thoughts, and you can’t even spare a crumb of attention for your fuckin’ wife!”

You slumped in your chair and watched her storm out of his office. The glass panels made you and the other associates straighten up and go silent as the furious brunette practically stomped out of the floor and made her way to the elevator. You could just picture his face. Brows furrowed in anger, thumb rubbing his lower lip while the other hand was balled in a fist on his desk, and his foot was tapping annoyingly against the floor. You busied yourself, concentrating on the sound of your polished nails clinking against your keyboard. As expected, a few minutes later, your phone vibrated as you received a text. 

-”You busy??”

 You wanted to scoff. Andy had some nerve. Pissing off his wife then sending you a booty call text. Every single fucking time. Getting up, you made sure your heels clicked loudly on the ground as you made your way to his office. You knocked twice, signaling him it was you, and opened the door, making yourself at home. You did consider it to be your second house, since he kinda fucked you on every square feet of the room. 

“Can I help you, Andy? Cause I don’t know if you noticed, but I actually have work to do.” 

He groaned. 

“Don’t talk to me like that, baby… And yes, you can help… Com’ere”

You sighed and closed the door, watching him press a button from the small remote and the blinds shut, hiding you from the prying and gossip hungry eyes of your colleagues. You made your way towards him, ignoring the way his lustful, icy blue gaze looked at your legs. 

“Pant day?”

You hummed and stopped in front of him, averting your gaze from the obvious bulge underneath his dress pants. His lap looked way too comfortable, and with a small, tired groan, you threw your leg over his and sat on his lap, his muscular thighs in between yours. He smirked and rubbed your hips, feeling the velvet fabric that surrounded your legs. 

“There we go bubba… this better, huh?”

He watched you nod softly, and he gave you a soft smile.

“We were talking about… Christmas…’ he chuckled, ‘Can you imagine? We had an argument about fucking Christmas…”

“Damn. ‘M sorry, Andy.”

He shrugged and slapped your waist gently, grinning at the quiet squeal you made. You scooted further up his body and you circled his neck with your arms. It was so hard to stay mad at him. 

“Meh, it’s okay… Gimme a kiss baby”

You leaned in, feeling his lips on yours. His were slightly chapped, but they were still soft, and you hummed when his mustache rubbed against your upper lip. He grabbed the back of your neck as he deepened his embrace, getting totally lost in your glossy lips. His groan sent fire to your belly, and you ground down on him, moving your hips in a sensual motion. He could feel himself grow hard by the second, his right slacks doing nothing to conceal his hardening length. 

“Fuck, take your pants off.”

Were you feeling bratty? Absolutely. With a hint of mischief in your gaze that didn’t go unnoticed by him, you shook your head and pulled his hair, exposing his neck to you. You dove in, ignoring his unpleased groan, and started sucking a hickey in his neck. With an arousing growl, he wrapped a hand around your neck, manhandling you as he licked into your mouth.

“The fuck did I say? Take those pants off. Don’t be a fucking brat, I’m not in the mood.”

You resisted the urge to roll your eyes, and you decided to lean down and kiss his rough cheek.

“Yes daddy…”

“That’s a good girl, see? When you want to.”

You lifted yourself off his lap and started unzipping them, hissing when the cold of his office hit your shaved legs.

“Do you ever heat this damned room? It must be like zero degrees in here.” 

Andy was feeling tight in these pants. Your simple black underwear was enough to make him want to burst, and the jiggle in your thighs made him feral, almost primal. You were the only person who could make him feel this way, and he loved it. He patted his lap, and you happily sauntered and sat, moaning softly when his crotch hit your panty clad folds. 

“Fuck, daddy…”

Andy’s ego went up a notch at the nickname, and all smug and sure of himself, he placed his hands behind his head with an enormous smirk on his gorgeous face. 

“C’mon, rub your pussy on my pants… ruin them.” 

Your brain short circuited at his dirty talk and you did exactly as he said. Your panties were dampening with every second, and you could feel his hard cock underneath all those layers. The tip of it was digging into your clit, and you focused mainly on that. You wanted to feel it brushing up against your pussy, and the way you undulated your hips was slow and calculated, but at the same time, smooth like you’d already done it a million times. You were sure you weren’t far from that number. Underneath you, Andy was trying to keep his composure, but your body was just too good, too mesmerizing. He grumbled underneath his breath and secured his hands around your hips. He pressed you down on his length, and he swore you glowed when you threw your head back. Your eyes were pinched shit, the false eyelashes fluttering on your cheekbones. You felt his hot gaze on your lower body, and on how you were rubbing yourself shamelessly on him. Your hands snaked underneath your shirt and he swore when he watched you play with your covered breasts. Fucking shameless. 

“Shit- play with your tits baby… You’re so hot, you close yet?”

You opened one eye, and smirked at his face. His face was flushed, veins pulsing on his neck, and he had a lipstick mark on his neck. You weren’t going to say anything… you were a homewrecker, the least you could do was do your job well. You laughed internally at your thoughts, but everything was quick to subside into arousal when Andy pressed a thick thumb on the hood of your clit. You stiffened and already felt your thighs shake around his. 

“Moh, poor, shaky baby. You were distracted…”

And when he started rubbing, finally adding more precise stimulation, you were gone for it. You were panting, and your lover took great pleasure in watching you fall apart for him. 

“Oh my- shit, shit, shit… An-Daddy, I’-”

You squealed when he slapped his hand on your mouth, silencing you. His tone was stern and mean, and it made your pussy clench painfully.

“Shut the fuck up. Don’t want the whole fucking building to know how much of a whore you are huh? My fuckin’ whore. Who gets fucked by her boss. If you wanna cum, you cum in silence. Got it?”

Your nod was pathetic, which made Andy chuckle darkly. You didn’t care though. You were going to burst. 

With a muffled purr, the dam opened, and you came all over your fully clothed boss. His right hand was still guiding your hips, and it didn’t look like you were going to stop humping him soon. The left hand was still covering your mouth, and the coolness of his wedding ring shouldn’t have made you as horny as you were, but a new wave of lust took over your body, as well as mixed feelings. As much as you felt bad for Laurie, you couldn’t deny the little pinch of superiority that you felt, because you were fucking her husband. It was twisted, really, but after all these years in this affair, you had finally come to sense and accepted these feelings. Yes, you could say you were pretty confident being a mistress. 

“Mhm… Good girl, fuckin’ good… Y’know what? I don’t wanna wash my pants, ever…”

Letting out a small, shocked giggle, you passed your hand through your hair, trying to tame it. 

“Mr Barber, you are one filthy man… But we ain’t done. Take your pants off.” 

He gave you a sly look, and you already tired cunt still fluttered at the sound of him unbuckling his belt. 

“Eyes on me baby…”

His eyes got lost in yours, and your brow arched playfully at his look. 

“You look high, Andy, have you been smoking?”

His laugh echoed in the room, and you shushed him, failing to repress your own giggles.

“Nah… I’ve been havin’ an unhealthy amount of pussy though… Does it count as a drug?” 

You shrugged and bit your lip, deciding to play his little game:

“Depends… Do you think you’re addicted to it?”

“Oh... ‘, his gravely chuckle made your core pulse, ‘I definitely am…”

Your mouth parted automatically at his deep voice, and you were once again under the clouds of arousal and submission. If Andy had seen the way you switched so easily- and he surely saw it, he didn’t say anything and just took himself out of his boxer briefs. At the sight of his thick, flushed cock, you licked your lips, wanting to climb off his lap and suck him off. You stayed in your position though, and you just whined. 

“Oh my god, babygirl, are you that needy? Wow…” 

You pouted and tried to wrap a hand around his dick, but Andy grabbed your wrist and twisted it, pressing it behind your back. You winced, even if the pleasure went straight to your core.

“Hands to yourself, needy baby.”  

With lust blown pupils, you watched him pump his cock with his fist, the fat tip already leaking. The sight made the bratiness come back, and you spat:

“You look like the needy one here, daddy.”

He snarled, still fucking his fist.

“Don’t. Cause if you do, I’m gonna have to punish you, and y’know what that’s gonna be? No cumming for you, you fuckin’ brat.”

As stern as he was, you couldn’t help but grin at him, proud of the reaction you got out of him. 

“Now c’mon, sit on my dick.”

Now that you were content, you didn’t hesitate two seconds and lifted yourself up, using the strength in your thighs and knees to raise your soppy entrance over his cock. As you sunk down on it, both of you hissed until he bottomed out. Sweat gathered on your brow, and you stayed there, just basking in the feeling of his pulsing length in your tightness. 

“S-see? This the only thing that’ll make you shut up… Hmm, f-fuckin’ brat…”

“Y, you love i-it though… Ah, fuck, daddy, youfeelsogood!” 

You squeezed around him, and you loved the sound of him choking on his own spit. You looked at him, and a sudden urge to kiss him overcame your senses. With passion, you grabbed his cheeks and crashed your lips on his. Fuck, you loved him. Butterflies erupted in your belly, and you kept kissing him as your hips started moving on their own accord, circling around his pelvic area.  

“Fuck, your pussy feels amazing… always so tight… squeezin’ the shit outta me.” 

Your moans were lewd and rung through the room. At this point, you didn’t care about who was listening, Andy’s cock was so good and hitting all the right spots. Your hands circled around his neck, and your face buried itself in it’s crook. Andy rubbed your back soothingly, shushing your needy whimpers. 

“That’s it baby, ride that shit, make me cum”

You continued to undulate your hips, your thighs already burning up at the effort. Andy grabbed your ass, squeezing and slapping the globes with force, making you shriek and giggle. He pushed your body up, helping you grind on him, and you purred in his ear.

“Mhm, daddy, your cock is so big…”

His eyes rolled back at your sultry tone, and more blood rushed to his cock. His grunts went straight to your core, and he groaned everytime you squeezed around him, adding more tightness. 

“Ah shit, love this fuckin’ pussy, never wanna let’chu go…”

The praise made you beam and blush, your skin feeling hot all over. Your nails dug into his upper back, and you heard him hiss. You knew he liked the pain, and the way he thrust up into you made you sure of it. When he did, you groaned at the way his cock went deep, almost hitting your cervix. Lifting yourself up, you looked at him from underneath your lashes. He looked flustered, and you loved it. His tie was undone, the first buttons of his dress shirt unfastened, letting his tattoo peak out. He was looking down at where you two were connected, and it should’ve made you flush. He was watching your pussy with absolutely no shame. And shit, if you didn’t want him to look. 

He licked his thumb and parted your folds, revealing your puffy clit. His thumb rubbed on it with vigor, and you whined, a broken, pathetic whine. 

“Such a pretty pussy, bubba… My pussy, isn’t it? It’s mine. Say it.”

You nodded, but you were too far gone to actually respond. The slap on your thigh was harsh, and your jaw went slack.

“You’re not fucking listening, too b-busy being a cock hungry slut? I asked you a qu-question, baby. Answer me.”

He was everywhere. His length was hitting deep in your walls, and you couldn’t help but gush around him, the sounds of skin slapping and fluids squelching causing his low growls. His big hands were squeezing your hips, rubbing your stretch marks. The rough material of his pants chafed against your thighs and sensitive clit. It was too much. Your head lolled back, and Andy swore under his breath. 

“Fuck, don’t tap out baby, c’mere.” 

He secured his hand on the back of your head and lower back, and he pushed you down on his chest, his deep moans reverberating in his chest. You felt him spread his legs, manspreading even more. His hips pushed up against yours, and he started doing all the work. He was fucking up into you, his balls slapping against your ass. Your small huffs were muffled in his shoulder blade, and the way his dick was hitting your g-spot with every thrust made you feel like you were on cloud nine. 

“D-daddy…”

“I know baby, I know, c’mon, cum for me, cum for daddy…”

Whimpering and sniffling, you felt the knot almost snap, and you grabbed his hand, pressing it to your neck. Even though Andy knew much about your sexual fantasies and desires, the way you initiated the choking made his eyes go wide and cock twitch. You felt it in your walls, and your head fell, your hair now sticking on your forehead. 

“Yeah? You want me to choke you? Naughty… Tsk, feel my cock? Feel daddy’s cock deep in you? Feel how hard I am? I’m re-ready to burst, honey… Y-you do that t- shiiit, you do that t’me…”

You almost wailed, the sensations clouding your mind. He gave a few thrusts, fucking you up even more, and with a harsh bite in his shoulder blade, you came on his cock. He growled, his teeth gritting at the overwhelming tightness of your cunt.

“Fuckin’ hell, I’m gonna-”

He didn’t have the energy nor the willpower to finish his sentence as he came deep inside in your fluttering core with a deep grunt that vibrated throughout your body as well.  

When he was done, you let out a breathy sigh, and huffed a laugh against his chest. 

“Th-that was good, huh?”

Your voice was still shaky, and you nuzzled your face into Andy’s body as his hands drew soothing circles on your back.

“Hell yeah… every time you’re so fucking good…”

You two basked in a comfortable silence, but you had a question that was burning your tongue.

“Andy?...”

He hummed, acknowledging your words.

“What’chu doing for Christmas?”

He stiffened, and disappointment went through your whole body.

“I- I’m not here… Laurie wants us to go to her parents’ house… don’t know why though, she usually goes without me, but this year? I don’t know what that woman has in her head.”

You nodded, trying to hide your sadness. It didn’t surprise you, after all these years, he’d never spent Christmas with you.

•

As you opened the door of your apartment, you let yourself fall on the couch, sinking into it. You felt so stupid. You had ruined this perfect moment by asking a question you already knew the answer to. How the hell had you thought you were comfortable with being a mistress? 

Your mother was a nurse and worked on Christmas Eve, your siblings were all over the country and you’d all come to the conclusion that it would be better to celebrate the new year together. Your friends were with their families, Christmas was in four days, and you didn’t have anyone to spend it with. Because let’s be real, your four plants were pretty, but not that talkative. They also couldn’t eat the roasted turkey you wanted to make. What a shame, your turkey was good. 

That bottle of wine was calling you. And you needed a bath. 

You busied yourself at work the next days, and the paperwork and emails were off your desk after the third day. The thoughts of being alone at Christmas were slowly creeping up your back though, and you tried to repress them, to no avail. Andy wasn’t even here to keep you company, he was away with a wife he didn’t like and a son he didn’t understand anymore. You knew your worth, but sometimes, you just craved his attention. Tsk, what a life you were living. Stuck between a shit marriage that would never end. You had to be realistic. Waking up the next day, you felt immensely relaxed. Was it the sweet liquor you’d drank the night before, or the sudden urge to cook, you didn’t know, but you felt amazing. Like you knew good things were coming your way. As you opened your blinds and curtains, you gasped at the small snowflakes falling over the city. Boston’s insane amount of snow never failed to amaze you, and the previous days had been filled with sluggish ice and melting snowmen. It was time for some fresh snow, at last… The view from your window was beautiful. The city under snow was gorgeous, and you quickly rushed to your balcony, just to be able to touch the white, chilly, cotton-like snow underneath your fingers. After a few minutes in pure cold, you shivered and went back inside. As the morning went by, you listened to the classic Christmas music, drank an unhealthy amount of coffeed hot cocoa, and then your mother called, instantly ruining the mood. She told you how much she regretted working on this day, and how she would’ve loved to have you and your siblings, and you hung up with a sour mood. 

Not wanting it to beat up your day, you immediately started to prepare food, even if it was just for you. The turkey was marinating and your chocolate pie was in the oven when you heard a few knocks on the door. Andy’s signature knocks. Your heart dropped, but in a good way, and you rushed to it. Looking through the peephole, you let out a confused glance when you saw his face. What the.... 

“Andy?”

Oh, he looked funny. His dark hair was ruffled underneath a Santa's hat that had little stars that lit up, and his broad figure was hidden by the ugliest Christmas sweater you’d ever seen. He had a champagne bottle in his hand, bags and a box wrapped up in shiny wrapping paper in the other. 

“Merry Christmas to you too! Can I come in? It’s freezing…”

You nodded, widening the door so he could fit and come in. His teeth clacked together as he put the bag and present on your countertop. The lawyer turned around and walked to you, who was still by the entrance. Grabbing your waist with his big hands, he pulled you in, placing a sweet kiss on your lips. You still had a confused face, and it made Andy chuckle, causing him to kiss the top of your furrowed brows. 

“I know I shoulda called, but, I wanted to surprise you, help around the house… And I bought you a present…”

Your heart thumped almost comically, and you couldn’t help but let out a surprised giggle at him. Dork. 

“... And I  wanted to see you. I knew you were alone, and Laurie didn’t want me to come to her mother’s house at the end of the day… And I also have some good news…” 

You smiled at him, burgundy lipstick making your lips look so kissable and Andy couldn't help but do it. You hummed as he backed you up against the countertop, his hands coming under your sweater. A small hiss came out of your mouth when his cold hands grasped your waist, and he was about to lift you on it when the oven beeped. 

“Ah, shit, my pie…”

Your lover grumbled something under his breath, and as you took the pastry out, turning your upper body towards him, Andy’s stomach filled with nervous flutters at the domesticity of the scene. 

“Don’t be mad, baby… We’ll have plenty of time for that later, but I need you to help me with the cooking, ‘kay? C’mere, put the turkey in the oven.”

Oh, the weather outside was frightful, and even though you didn’t have any fire the heat of the oven was so delightful… And why would you go somewhere when you were with the man you considered to be the love of your life? 

This was probably one of the best Christmas ever spent. You two were walking around the kitchen, with ridiculous hats on, singing Mariah Carey songs, kissing each other's sugary lips… The happiness you felt was a new form, one that made you feel like you could actually have a real life with him, not a secretive one… One with a house, a dog, maybe a ring on your finger… 

When lunch was finally ready, it was about two pm, and you were starving. You ate quickly, stuffing yourself and falling back on your chair with a groan. 

“Damn… I’m never eating again…”

Andy started cleaning up, leaving your turkey pregnant self alone for a moment. You basked in the comfortable noise of him putting the dishes in the sink. You could get used to this. When he came back, he set the gift in front of you. 

“Oh Andy… I didn’t get you anything…”

He shrugged.

“Pff, I don't care… You’re the one who deserves something…”

You grinned at him as you tore the wrapping, revealing a gorgeous orange box. 

“Andy. You. Didn’t.”

The smile that adorned his face was beautiful, the little eye crinkles making him look even cuter. 

“But I did, baby… C’mon, open it.”

The Hermes box felt smooth underneath your hands, and you took your time opening it, revealing the beautiful scarf you had been eyeing for months. 

“Oh my god… Andy, you’re fucking crazy… Do you know how expensive these are!?”

You were trying hard to repress your excited squeal as you took the softest material out, feeling it caress your skin. Andy got up, walking behind you.

“Gimme, let me help you put it on… This color’s gonna look amazing with your complexion…”

As stupid as it sounded, you held your breath when he wrapped the scarf behind your neck. You could moan at the feeling of the silk around your throat. 

“How does this feel?”

“Amazing…”

His hands rubbed your shoulders soothingly, and you threw your head back, watching him from upside down. He bent down and captured your lips with his, and both of you smiled into the kiss. 

“Fuck… I love you…”

Andy’s voice was smooth, and your insides clenched. He grabbed your hand, lifting you up, and you made your way to the couch. 

“So… For the big news… Sit down baby, you’re gonna be happy.”

You did as he said, but nervous jitters made your hands tremble. He grabbed them and kissed your palm.

“So… I didn’t tell you something… I didn’t take a vacation to take a vacation… Me and Laurie are finalizing the divorce.”

You tried not to smile, and you gave him a serious nod. 

“Oh wow… I-I’m sorry Andy....”

You squeaked when he moved you on his lap, rubbing your thighs soothingly.

“Don’t be… We’ve wanted this for a long time… I think we were cowards and didn’t want Jacob to be hurt, but he’s the one who told us a few months ago that it would be best for the family… The tension was unbearable… And also not being with you? Yeah, that was the last straw…”

You grabbed his cheeks and kissed him, his tongue instantly entering your mouth. A few whimpers escaped both of you, and the way his lips pressed into yours, hard, making you feel his love for you, left you breathless. 

“I want to be with you, baby… Forever. You’re the one I love… Since a  long time… I’m so sorry I took so long to be exclusive, but now? No more secrets, no more hiding. Just us and our love. Publicly.”

“But what about th-“

“Shhh, love up on me, questions, after, ‘kay?”

You sealed the deal with a kiss, the soft peck becoming an intense, smily, make out session. Maybe Christmas “alone” wasn’t so bad after all.

Fin.

A/N: OOOKKK, thank u for reading! I hope this was good lol, and yes CHEEZY ending, whadda about it? Its the holidays, idgaf about angst. Reblogs and feedback are very appreciated🥺❤️

Tagging (taglist + mutuals who might like ;) ): @hermayone @titty-teetee @thottylocs @fullofmelaninsarcasmandepression @cloudystevie @stargazingfangirl18 @honeyloverogers @honeychicanawrites @ballyhoobarnes @frostedfavesmain @brattycherub @honeygingergemini @dangerouslovefanfic @sabinemorans @mariahthelioness29 @gyllenhaalstories

Divider credit: @firefly-graphics

#andy barber #andy barber smut #andy barber x black!reader #andy barber x reader #andy barber oneshot #andy barber x woc!reader #andy barber x black reader #andy barber x fem!reader #andy barber x you #andy barber x y/n #fem!reader #black!reader #woc!reader #black reader insert #woc reader insert #fem reader #defending jacob #defending jacob fanfiction #tw cheating #christmas #christmas fanfiction #andy barber fic #happyhoelidays2020 #emily writes

[slasherholic]

omg i never thought abt jen and mikey together but like......wow so pretty. do u have any thoughts or hcs u can share 🥺

tbh I only ship them as a crackship for the aesthetic™️ and also bc a power couple consisting of not one but TWO gorgeous murderous bastards is too much for my feeble villain fucker brain to handle

bUT YES I TOTALLY DO HAVE HCS. they’re v lazy but kinky as shit because michael really really needs to get dommed i mean knocked down a few pegs by a woman other than laurie sOOO

*note: the film never specifies jennifer’s age, and neither did any of the sources I researched, so I’m sticking with my pre-existing hc that she was an 18 y/o senior in the movie. jen is obviously a legal adult here 👍

HCs | Jennifer Check x Michael Myers (NSFW)

*AU where Jen lived and went on to be a bitchy succubus for all eternity and is now extremely good at what she does

*warning: non-consensual pp touching ahead

ha, hope y’all didn’t think this was gonna be an actual functional relationship cause IF SO well then honey, you got a big storm comin

remember the jason x mikey ship dynamic where the gag is that mikey is basically jay jay’s stinky mean cat who gets sprayed in the face with water every time he’s bad?

yeah, so michael is jennifer’s bitch very angry, very fun pet. oh how the turntables, mikey

only jennifer doesn’t exactly share jason’s innocent nature ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

michael had been in the market for a new “s/o” after his old one errr broke

and since stalking jen made his pp very hard, she was obviously the perfect choice for the job

but when michael made his move on her, haha whOOPS

nice going pp brain, your not-so-victim is a literal man eater and you just broke into her home so now she’s going to kick your fucking ass

yes jen is stronger than michael, yes she can yeet him like a soda can across her kitchen, yes she can sit on his chest and choke him out against the floor, yes it all happened in that order and no michael doesn’t want to talk about it

in michael’s defense he did get a fuckton of fatal stabs in on jen before he conked out from oxygen deprivation

lol too bad she’s immortal dumbass

jen wasn’t expecting to be dining-in tonight, but oh well a bitch ain’t gonna turn down free catering

might as well get a peek at what’s on the menu tho, let’s just get this crusty ass mask outta way and—

—oop he’s gorg.

totally her type too, at least back when she dated boys instead of tearing out their livers

she’s not even -that- hungry, so like, she kinda doesn’t wanna kill him yet?

she like, kinda thinks he might look pretty chained up ass naked in her living room?

yeah she was right lol

also his dick big

tbh jen was only planning to keep michael around until she got hungry, but fuck, he’s just so much fun to play with

she figured out pretty quickly that he wasn’t gonna talk to her

but that’s cool, he doesn’t have to open his stubborn bitch mouth for her to know how much he fucking detests the cuffs he’s locked up in and her and the fact that she can overpower him

jen finds it really funny to pin michael’s limbs down and have sloppy make-out sessions with his pretty face until that nasty glare of his turns downright murderous

yeah it gets her bitten but she doesn’t care because that’s really hot what the fuck

he’s so feral she loves it

soon, she’s making a point of grinding her crotch against his bare cock as she sucks his lower lip until he pops a very hard and very angry boner

sometimes jen leaves her cute toy all alone afterwards to suffer with his problem

but sometimes, she reaches down and wraps one of her slender hands around his hard-on, stroking and squeezing and teasing until he’s beading up with precum, painfully swollen

and then she grips his powerful neck with her other hand

and while jerking his cock, c h o k e s him until he’s blue in the face, until his body is gasping and heaving reflexively, until he’s fighting and thrashing so violently that he’s nearly bucking her off

but oh my god, he comes like a motherfucking firehose

michael has never felt such indescribable rage in his entire life. not toward anything or anyone. nothing he has ever experienced approaches this boiling hatred; he despises jennifer check with every fiber of his empty black heart and when gets free he is going to murder her in the most brutal fashion his mind can possibly concoct.

and jennifer absolutely cannot get enough of him.

#jennifer check #Michael Myers #jenmyers #jennifers body #halloween #slashers #slasher headcanons #horror #writing #fanfiction

[mayraki]

“My old friend” (2)

laurie laurence x reader

not my gif! credits to the owner.

summary: after graduating from college you decided to go back to your hometown for a little bit and say hi to your family and friends. And you didn’t know that your oldest of friends had the exact same idea.

note: so, some people asked for part two. so here it is! hope y’all like it.

MASTERLIST

Since the last fight with Laurie, you didn’t talk to him. Everytime your mother wanted to make plans with his family, you simply said that you wanted to spend the day with Brandon and your siblings.

“Hey, baby, can I come in?” You mother asked outside you room.

“Yeah mom.” You said and left the book you were reading in your nightstand while you sat down on your bed.

She entered the room and gave you a little smile. She sat down and you looked at her confused, since she wasn’t talking, just staring at you.

“Everything’s fine?” You asked.

She slowly nodded. “Yeah, I just thought that because your father took Brandon and the kids to the workshop, it was good for me and you to have a little chat.”

“A chat?” You asked confused “About what?”

“Sweetie, you may not understand this right now. But when you’ll be a mother, you will. Sometimes mothers know, when something’s not right.”

“What’s not right, then?” You asked, still confused.

She sighed and then touched your knee. “Did something happened with Laurie?”

You tried to not sound like you were lying and fixed your posture on your bed. “No, everything’s fine.”

“I didn’t ask if everything was fine, I asked if something happened.”

“Fine. Nothing happened.” You shrugged and then your mother sighed, again.

“You’re a terrible liar. You got that from your father.” She let out a little smile. “Brandon’s a sweet guy.”

“Yeah... he is.” You said softly trying to understand your mother and her intentions.

“He’s practically, the perfect candidate.”

“Mom, what’s this about?” You finally asked.

She locked eyes with you and then gave you a little smile. “Do you really love him?”

“Yes Mom! I do.” You answered quickly.

“Like you love Laurie?” You stood up and then felt your stomach turned.

“Mom! What are you talking about?!” You sounded more angry than you intended, you never liked getting angry at your mother, but for some reason the thing that she said made you feel like that.

“Sweetie,” she said calmly “are you being honest with yourself? I have to be honest, the moment you came out of that train with Brandon, you really surprised me. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a really sweet guy, but- I don’t know. I think of the days that I saw you with Laurie, that was different. Remember how you used to feel with him? The things that you used to tell me? Darling, do you feel the same with Brandon?”

In that moment, a memory came into your mind.

“Y/n!” A fifteen year old Laurie said next to you.

“What?” You asked him, but you didn’t turned to him, because you were too focused on your book.

“Can we do something else?” He grabbed your waist and pulled you closer.

“No, I have to finish this.”

“Do you have to?”

You nodded but immediately, Laurie closed to book and threw it across the room.

“Laurie!” You tried to get up put Laurie pulled you closer to him and gave you a kiss on the lips.

“You probably have to be more quite, since you’re parents don’t know I’m here.” He said and let out a little smile.

“Alright, What do you want to do?” You asked once you gave up trying to get out of bed.

“I have something in mind.” He smiled and then united his lips with yours and immediately felt some burning inside of you. This was he first tome you felt something like that, and you didn’t want it to go away.

He gently grabbed your waist and felt his hand go under your shirt. You pulled away and he sat down quickly.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t want to make uncomfortable.”

You shook your head. “You didn’t.” You gave him a smile and sat down in front of him. You kissed him again and this time, you were the one who was under his shirt.

“Are you sure?” He asked and you slowly nodded with a little smile on your face.

You came back to reality and felt a tear coming down you cheek. The realisation that one time with Laurie, the feelings were bigger than multiples with Brandon, hit your mind and you closed your eyes. You’ve been lying to yourself and to Brandon, all of these years.

~

Talking to Brandon after that talk with your mother was one of the most difficult things you had to do. He’s always been nothing but good to you, and you felt terrible about the fact that you were hurting him. But he didn’t deserve to be married to someone who didn’t love him, and neither did you.

You came back to your house after saying goodbye to an angry and sad Brandon, and the tears were coming down your cheek for the third time this day.

It was dark out and you noticed that you spent the entire day sleeping. It was one of the best ways for you to forget everything, but now you couldn’t sleep. So you decided to go for a walk, since you didn’t do that after that encounter with Laurie.

The night was beautiful as always, the wind gently blowing your hair and the smell of leafs came into your nose. You walked by the lake but didn’t stop, you didn’t want to remember that day with Laurie. You didn’t want to think about him.

So, you walked to the beach and sat down at the little stair it had for coming down to it. The wind was stronger so your hair was moving with more strength. You tried to go away in your thoughts but when you felt a body sat down a step behind you, you turned to see Laurie there. You looked back at the beach and closed your eyes.

“I suppose you’ve heard.” You said after a couple of minutes of being there in silence.

“Yes.” Laurie said softly. You noticed a little bit of pain in his voice.

“Just to let you know. The fact that I’m not marrying Brandon, doesn’t mean that I’m not mad at you.” You said but Laurie didn’t responded right away.

“I respect that.” He said, but with more of a serious tone.

“Good.” You said and nodded, trying to go back and get lost in the beach. After some minutes, Laurie stepped down and now he was right next to you.

He looked at you but you didn’t look back. You didn’t want to meet his eyes, because you knew you would break down in front of him, and that was the last thing you wanted right now.

“Y/n.” He called your name but didn’t wait for a response. “I just wanted to say that I’m sorry. I truly am. But I can’t change the way I feel about you. I was stupid back then, I was afraid that I was holding you back. That’s why I let you go. I could never repay you for what I’ve done, I know that, I’m never going to forgive myself for letting you go through that. But... I can’t stop thinking about you, since the day we parted.”

You sighed at Laurie’s words and closed your eyes. You didn’t know what to say. The way he made you feel years ago was the most hurt you’ve been in your life, but you couldn’t hold that forever. So you opened your eyes and locked eyes with Laurie, who had almost tears coming down his face.

“I forgive you, Laurie.” You finally said. “You’re right, you could never repay me for what you’ve done. But, I can’t lie to myself anymore. I do, think of you constantly since I came here. I thought I was over you, but I was just lying to myself.”

“I’m sorry.” He apologied again and you shook your head.

“I’m tired of feeling like this.”

“Let’s start over.” You looked at him confused. He handed his hand out “Hi, I’m Laurie. What’s your name?”

You couldn’t help but let out a little laugh and you shook Laurie’s hand. “I’m Y/n.”

“Y/n. What a beautiful name.” He let out a smile and for the first time, you felt like the fifteen years old were on that beach again.

#laurie laurence x reader #laurie laurence imagine #laurie little women #laurie laurence #timothee chalamet x reader #timothee chalamet imagine #timothee chalamet x you #timothee chalamet #little women

[nocturnalazure]

4,6,7,9,14,15 よろしくおねがいします♡

4. What is the thing that motivates you the most to write?

Having an outlet for a concrete visualisation of what’s in my head is one of the most satisfying things about the whole writing ordeal. Storytelling is an impulse for me and I’ve had it for as long as I can remember, inventing already complex stories with my toys. It can be hard and frustrating, and sharing my stories makes me uncomfortable at times, because it’s so personal and it leaves me vulnerable, but in the end... it’s all worth it. I couldn’t do it any other way.

6. Who is your most favourite(s) character(s) and your least favourite(s)? Why?

Hahahaha ! Haha… ha. Y’all know who my favorite character is, right? Who doesn’t? Seriously? Should I labor the point?

There. Now that this is cleared up… my least favorite character, huh ?

I have had so many, and a lot of them fell through the cracks, not because I didn’t like them, but because I lost interest. I find that I tend to give up most often on those characters who live quiet, standard lives. Typically Johan. He is technically Seth’ cousin but they are so different that they never felt like they were part of the same family. After pining for years after his best friend’s sister Amelia, he ended up marrying her. He is a father of two girls and a high school teacher. That’s it. Just a really boring, meek and conventional dude. And I’m sure no one even remembers him. ^o^;

Gimme spicy and juicy! I need borderline personalities with flaws and conflicts! GIMME DRAMAAAAA!!!

7. Can you give me some random facts about [characters name] ?

I spun a character decision wheel to answer this and Laurie came up! :D Not ideal, because I feel like I’ve already shared a lot of facts about him. ^^; But let’s see… what can I say that would be a teaser and not a spoiler?

Nathaniel told him he was « gifted ». That word wasn’t used by chance.

I’m afraid that I won’t make his life easy… what did you expect ? He’s a Golzine and their family is cursed !

He will have two sons.

9. Is there any LGBTQ+ representation in your story ? 

There is! We haven’t seen Annabelle and her girlfriend Mel in a long time, I’m afraid. A pity because Annabelle is such an interesting character! You get to see more often Jessie and Uli (and soon their adoptive daughter Louise), and I intend to make Jamie a recurring character. Not to mention there is now Romeo, the repressed gay mafioso! :D

A character like Ash is harder to put into a box. When he’s attracted to someone (which he very rarely is), it’s to the person not their gender. The only girl he was ever attracted to is Sam, and Jamie only managed to get into a relationship with him because he (gently) forced his way through. Ash is very shy and self-conscious when it comes to sex. Admittedly, it doesn’t appeal to him much (possibly due to the trauma of his relationship with Sam). He would identify as demisexual (ie, attraction developing only as a direct result of an emotional connection).

14. Is there any special relationship you like in particular? Which one if yes?

Right now, I think it’s obvious enough that I really like Laurie and Erik’s relationship.:) They are so easy and fun to write!

Sam and Ash, of course, is another strong relationship in my story, although more complex and tainted with negative emotions.

I know people tend to hate love triangles, but it’s always been my jam so I kind of like that Nathaniel was torn between Ivy and Risa. Maybe I should have described it better though.

I like Tristan and Eloise’s platonic relationship too, and I’d like to work on it in the near future.

15. Do you have a favourite scene? Why?

SO MANY. I can’t even choose. I think I have a favorite scene in each update.

It’s completely subjective because it’s unrelated to the quality of the scene, and has everything to do with the emotions I felt while writing it. And God knows if I’ve often felt emotions! I had tried to list and comment on my favorite chapters back in 2014 but it was ridiculously long so I gave up on it.

#replies #random #yorithesims #ask meme

[pigeonpartytime]

This is kinda a part two to Detritus and McCarran Meet at Hades’ Palace but like not at the same time because it’s set 17 years after. It’s a spiritual successor to the last one, I guess. But I hope y’all enjoy my orignal content of my own world. - C

Do Not Tempt the Wrath of Hades

Detritus hadn’t been down all day when they came. He was upstairs in his quarters listening to his record collection before one of his right-hand men told him that McCarran was downstairs in the throne room “with an strange man”. He said it was urgent. McCarran never came without warning so Detritus knew something wasn’t right.

He quickly did up his shirt after putting on some armour underneath. He grabbed his revolver and put it in the holster on his belt. He then grabbed his trench coat and metal crown as he walked down the stairs. In the throne room, McCarran was on his knees and his arms were manacled. A figure in a white uniform removed its helmet, revealing a pale face. Detritus glared at this man stood in his throne room with his best friend restrained under him, blood streaming down his face.

“Detritus. Or should I say Lawrence Connolly. It’s such a pleasure to finally make your acquaintance.” The uniformed man says.

“Let go of my friend.” Detritus walked up to the man, towering over him. He was over 6 inches taller than him, yet he didn’t flinch, “You don’t know what you’re messing with do you?”

Detritus turns briefly to nod to one of his henchmen stood around the perimeter of the room, signalling for the army to prepare. This wasn’t going to be a polite encounter.

“I don’t? Detective Connolly. My name is Lucien Augustus. I am here from the Provadence National Laboratory to eliminate your threat to our aim of uniting and bringing peace to Terrefis. We cannot achieve that with you monsters having invaded half of this continent.” Lucien replies, a coldness in his voice that definitely didn’t go unnoticed.

“I got this land through democratic means. What you want is illegal. Even in a nuclear wasteland. And it’s Chief Detective Inspector, asshole.” Detritus growls, his voice going lower and lower with every word. “I didn’t work for 200 years for some nerd to come and tell me about the laws I’ve read over a hundred times. Now you’re going to let my friend here go and you’re going to leave my palace. My empire. And never return. Do not tempt the wrath of Hades.”

Lucien recoils slightly before letting out a long, loud, caustic laugh. His dark grey eyes staring blankly into Detritus’s.

“The wrath of Hades? What are you going to do? Send your militia up against my steel titan? You can’t scrape the surface of our might.”

“The ultimate sacrifice. It will kill everyone in this Palace and the whole citadel. But everyone from here to Natzoya will see the beacon. Do not tempt the wrath of Hades.”

Detritus grins at Lucien before clocking in the face with a fist. As he staggers, he quickly gets McCarran out of his manacles.

“You need to get out. There’s an escape out from my quarters. Get to my garage and take the fusioncycle and get as far away as possible. I’ll meet up with you to the east. The camp is just outside the blast range.”

“Blast range? You’ll kill yourself! Laurie. Come on, you have to get out as well...”

Detritus doesn’t let McCarran finish, “Dominic, I’ll survive. I’m these idiots’ god. The radiation will protect me. Now get out. The fusion cycle goes pretty fast, you’ll just need to avoid the bullets.”

“OK. I’ll see you later, good luck. And, thanks.” McCarran smiles before running out, frantically trying to get a signal from his radio but to no avail.

Detritus walks back over to Lucien, now stood back up straight, wiping a dribble of blood from where Detritus’s old wedding band cut him.

“Now. Any last words?”

“Heh.” Lucien replies with blind confidence, “Yeah. I’m taking this tower down with you.”

A large slam shakes the tower, the open doors showing the ‘face’ of the titan, a huge android battle machine.

“If you destroy the tower, everything goes down with it. Do you even know what used to be down under the crater? An army weapons bunker. And it’s filled with enough explosives to make every bit of the crater explode like a volcano. In 3... 2... 1...”

As Detritus hits 1 on his countdown, a deep rumbling makes the tower tremble in its foundations.

“Do not tempt... the wrath of Hades.”

The tower disintegrates in nuclear waste, exploding outward, destroying everything within the walls of the citadel. Detritus seems to levitate amongst the radiation. His trench coat flapping in the settling breeze. A tear streaks down his cheek as he realises everything he had made was gone. The houses. The people. Hades’ Tower. The books. The records.

A small piece of paper drifts down by Detritus. He catches it in his hand, the page reads “O brave new world, that has such people in ‘t!”. He slowly floats back down to the ground. He takes off his crown, places it on the remains of the steps into the palace before turning away and walking slowly through the ruins. Irrads and Necri litter the streets. So do synthetics.

He walks to the east, covering his eyes as the suns rise over the horizon one after another.

“Do not tempt the wrath of Hades”, Detritus whispers to himself, “I sounded like an idiot.”

So What Now?

It had been a week since Hades’ Palace fell. Since the Empire fell. Detritus had been staying at the Courier HQ for the time being but hardly left his quarters. He sat there in mournful silence, with sadness he hadn’t felt since discovering what had happened to the outside world 200 years before.

He sat on his bed, playing with his golden ring, the only memory he had left now of the world before. It was a memory that brought warmth to his heart. He remembered him as human, a young man. He wad with his wife, the two were walking down the street during the night after an evening at the bar. They stop off at a small park on the way home, sat by a pond. He feels the gentle breeze, the warmth of his wife against him.

A tear streaks down his dry cheek, the tear hurts more than the memories. He hears the door knocking as he wipes away his tears.

“Hey, Laurie. Can I come in?” He hears a familiar voice, McCarran is stood at the doorway.

“Yeah...” Laurie mumbles, snuffling.

“How you holding up? This a lot for you to take in.” McCarran comes and sits next to Laurie, putting his arm around his shoulder, “That’s a pretty ring.”

“Yeah. It was.” Laurie replies, holding himself back from crying, “I was married before the war. She was beautiful. I miss her so much.”

“Losing someone is hard enough. Then to loose everything else you have. I’m... sorry, Laurie.”

“Thanks. I don’t think I’ll really the same after this. I’m sorry as well.”

“Hey. I actually brought you something. I spent a good bit of money on this and I feel like you needed something to make you feel a bit better.”

McCarran reaches into his rucksack and brings out a square paper bag. He takes out the contents, a limited edition copy of Laurie’s all time favourite record. McCarran smiles up at Laurie as he stands up and walks over to the small record player in the corner of Laurie’s quarters.

“Do... do you want me to put it on?” McCarran asks, looking over to Laurie before putting it on.

Laurie wipes his tears from his face again before smiling slightly. McCarran sits back next to him and grabs Laurie into a tight hug. The two sit there for a while, listening to the same album they had listened to when they first met 17 years before.

“So what now? What’s next for the Syndicate, McCarran?” Laurie inquires, slight look of hope made his clouded over eyes glisten.

“I’m not sure. I got my revenge, thanks to you. I guess we just have to wait and see.”

“Yeah. I’ll be by your side no matter what. We’re gonna make a difference.”

The two sit there, listening to the album play. This was the dawn of a new era. But their work wasn’t quite finished yet. The director may be out of the picture, but the PNL was still a threat.

#fantasy #ocs #writing #fantasy fiction #post apocalyptic #fallout #not actually fallout but like fallout-esque #this is what i do instead of doing homework

[evans-heaven]

Notes on Defending Jacob ep.4 (for fun lol, also not spoiler free)

This post is gonna be shorter (maybe lol) than the first one cause it's just one episode this time around! Definitely not crying about that 😅

Just a reminder, I'm not a pro and this isn't really a review, but I am shoved rather far up Chris Evans' bum, soooooo that should tell you everything you need to know before you read these notes (or any I make in the future) 🤣😋

Another reminder that I'm not asking anyone to take me seriously. I make these notes because I enjoy doing them.

K I'm done let's get into it!!

I knew the swimming scene was coming in this episode but damn, right off the bat huh? I'm okay with the heart attack tho so no sweat 🤣

Laurie sitting in her car in the parking lot outside the store, immediately I knew why, and I think a lot of us did too. It was so sad to see. Really places us inside the depth of the situation, even if its such a small action, it speaks volumes. Poor thing must have been tired physically and mentally. My heart got torn in two every time I saw her on screen throughout the episode. I just wanna give her a damn hug 😩😭

The juxtaposition of Andy and Laurie's faces during the meeting with Joanna, while subtle, says a helluva lot about how they feel. It was such amazing facial acting. Its clear from their expressions alone, who knows the story is bs and probably will admit it, and who also knows the story is bs, but definitely won't admit it.

The way Jacob and Joanna bounced off of each other as he continued his (bs) story, was intense, and the score added to it. Jacob's rising nerves led to mine doing the same, and I even found myself trying to figure out how he could have told the story better. Joanna's expression, the 'this lie ain't shit' one, was also quite influential. Like, you wanna help this 14 year old kid, but he can't even help himself and shit just keeps piling up.

Andy babe I know thats your kid, you wanna protect and coddle him but the police was the appropriate choice of contact. And clearly theres some deeper shit going down. He didn't call you or anyone else because it's not as it seems.

"Our memories are often less reliable than we think, particularly in moments of stress" PLEASE tell me I'm not the only one who immediately thought of Laurie's memory of Jacob at the bowling alley. Like obviously it was a 3 second scene, and it seemed pretty telling, but what if that's only part of it? Or what if shes not remembering it the way it went down? Like, her kid was accused of murder, and what she thinks would make it make sense might be plaguing her and being twisted by her, because of stress and fear.

My immediate reaction to Laurie's rant at Jacob was to yell "I'M SORRY" 😭 legit felt like sis was reading ME the riot act. Stress is just piling up on her and she will not have her kid acting like everything has no reason to be the way it is. Waiting in parking lots for groceries to open is not normal, having all your friends alienate you is not normal, being the talk of the town for negative reasons is not normal. So sit tf down, eat your unseasoned food and stop complaining.

In that one moment, for Andy, everything was okay as he and Jacob sat watching the movie. Until, he realized everything wasn't okay. He just had to remember that his kid, who sat there, care free, laughing at the film, was gonna be on trial for murder. It's as easy to forget as it is to remember. Seeing Andy's face change so subtly, from a smile to worried gaze, broke my heart.

Andy saying 'of course not' when Laurie asked if there was a part of him that thinks he might have done it. Who was he trying to convince?

👏🏽LET👏🏽ME👏🏽TELL👏🏽Y'ALL👏🏽SOME👏🏽THING👏🏽

That acting in the scene where Andy met Matthew? That perfect mix of chill and resolve (for lack of better word) in the way Andy spoke? The 'don't fuck with me' energy that radiated off of him? Where is the Emmy?? WHERE IS IT???

Andy's just getting increasingly desperate and its lowkey unsettling. Idc if hes a snacc, dude is being a little ridiculous and needs to do himself a favor and see things from his wife's perspective. I know it may be hard but I don't even wanna imagine where his denial is gonna take him. Also the protectiveness leading him to burst into his kid's room in a very embarrassing way was...cringe 😅

As much as I wanted Laurie to have felt normal for once since everything went down, even for a fucking hour or two, I lowkey was waiting for some shit to happen in the diner. It just seemed too good to be true. The heartbreak/shock on Laurie's face when she found out was too real.

I'm interested to see Andy's meeting with his dad. I know its gonna be difficult/uncomfortable and the amazing acting I know we're gonna see will convey that really well. Also lowkey some shade from Laurie in that scene, I love 🤣

A few more short notes:

Andy ffs your kid's story sucks for a reason 🤦🏾‍♀️

Needa know the conversation Derek and his mom had with Pam 👀

That food looked hella unseasoned, put some butter on the bread at least lmao

Andy/Chris' laugh 😭🥰

Fuck Neal

Like seriously fuck him

The little guy playing young Andy omg 😭🥺

Fucking white kids oh my gawd y'all think I could ever tell my mother to shut up 😂🙄

That DO YOU HEAR ME with the lack of the "r" in hear...🥴

Some of those images Jacob saw in the therapist's office 😣 I know that was the point but sheesh lol

Who gets a salad with fries lmao is that normal

Did Jacob fold his pizza? Is that also normal?

Reporter lady didn’t deserve those fries smh 🙄

There was a lot of food in this episode 🤣

Jay Kobbs? Really? 🤦🏾‍♀️🤣

Whatever it takes 😭 okay Steve Rogers 😭

Amazing acting from Michelle Dockery in this episode, especially the diner scene.

Amazing acting from Jaeden in the meeting with Joanna.

Amazing acting from Chris Evans no matter the scene (are we surprised? No lol), but especially when he met Matthew.

Thats all for now, see y’all for the next episode <3

#chris evans #andy barber #michelle dockery #laurie barber #jaeden martell #jacob barber #defending jacob #defending jacob spoilers #djspoilers #apple tv

[avintagekiss24]

so I finally finished the show and im kinda disappointed with the ending :/ I feel like they should’ve just kept the book ending because I think it’s meant to be one season ?? so we didn’t really get a resolve and we’re left with wonderings of what happens after.. overall i feel like the writing was kinda flat but the acting was 10/10 throughout all episodes and chris was so so good ⭐️

Hi there! I’m gonna put my specific feelings under the cut and I’m also gonna tag this #defending jacob #defending jacob spoilers, but in general, as a whole, I really enjoyed the show! I thought the writing and the pacing of each episode was really good and griping (except for the murder gene stuff... that was stupid, lmao). It definitely kept me wanting more. I thought the cinematography was beautiful... all of the close ups on Chris’ face and eyelashes were superb, lmao, and I also thought that both Michelle Dockery and Chris were incredible in their roles.

Now for the ending...

I think I agree with you, I’m kinda disappointed with it too, because I like stories that have... endings, lol. It doesn’t have to be a neat one, all wrapped up in a pretty bow - that’s unrealistic. Even if the ending is sad and devastating and heartbreaking, it’s still an ending, and I appreciate that more that open endings.

I read the wiki about the book and I think I would have liked the book ending as well. It’s not definite - like you don’t really know if Jacob killed Ben or Hope, but it’s written in a way where it’s more likely than not that he did kill them, and that both Laurie and Andy have come to that same conclusion as well. The book ending would have made it possible for both Laurie and Andy to emotionally deal with what happened and move on from it, whether it be together or on their own.

It’s hard for me to wrap my mind around how they’ll move on together as a family with this new ending. Like, y’all are just gonna pretend like Laurie didn’t try to kill herself and Jacob? You’re just gonna act like she wasn’t struggling as a woman and as a mother on whether or not she raised a murderer? I think they were alluding to the fact that Laurie doesn’t remember the crash, but what if Jacob does (assuming he recovers and wakes up)? How is he supposed to deal with the fact that his mom tried to kill him? What if one day, Laurie starts to remember? Brain injuries (if they have them - which they SHOULD. I mean, she ran her car into a BRICK wall doing 80pmh... that fact that both of them are still alive in itself is incredible) are weird that way! And you can’t tell me that Andy doesn’t know that she did it on purpose - but we all know that homie is a MASTER at pretending everything is perfect and that they are a perfect little family unit.

This ending just sends this family right back into chaos - lying to each other, not dealing with their emotional/mental well being, using coping mechanisms (aka Andy’s drinking in the last episode) instead of trying to heal in a healthy way...

I don’t think you asked for all of this, lmao, but this is a long way of me agreeing with you about the ending. I still really enjoyed the show, though.

#asks #answered #defending jacob #defending jacob spoilers

[elliebartlets]

1.10 In Excelsis Deo

Episode:

• I think I watched this one on Christmas so I don’t think I’m gonna forget certain scenes or be surprised by certain thing, but we’ll see

• this one is a tearjerker tho RIP

• holy crap this show is so dark sometimes

• “flamingo is on her way”

“what did you call - what did he call me?!”

• I wonder if Lowell Lydell, the gay teenager who was attacked and later died, was based on Matthew Shepard...

• the scene with Bartlet and the kids is just the cutest thing. Joking around with them and pretending he’s the president of different countries.

• I love how Sam was so against using Laurie to divulge information until Josh told him it was about Leo

• Hugsy the penguin from Friends on Mrs Landingham’s desk!

• ok I didn’t think I’d cry at Mrs Landingham’s monologue but I actually teared up when she said “They had to be so scared. It’s hard not to think that right then, they needed their mother.”

• christ Mandy, shut up! If Bartlet doesn’t want any press there, then let it go!

• oh my god Leo rolling his eyes in Charlie’s direction while Bartlet tells Charlie he’s gonna get Zoey some Latin poem book is pure gold. and when Charlie’s like “I think she’ll like that better than a new stereo sir” and Leo starts laughing and has to walk away? So good 😂😂

• “I have to feed my fish.” 😂

• I mean... if the note Josh wrote Donna in the notebook he gave her and that look Donna gives him after he walks away isn’t proof enough that they are in love....and we have to wait 7 seasons!!!

• never knew or understood who that little boy was supposed to be

• ahh the ending 😭

Podcast:

• guest star: Richard Schiff!

• I’m super excited to listen to this. I think he’ll be a great guest.

• “How did you get the role of Toby Ziegler?”

“I slept with a lot of people.”

2 min in and he’s already making me laugh 😂

• “We used to get awards before you joined the show.”

• Richard Schiff has known Brad since college. Brad Whitford was Richard Schiff s brother’s roommate

• Eugene Levy almost got the role of Toby!

• The original storyline was the polar opposite of what the episode ended up being. Based on a writer’s real experience with his dad or something, the original plot involved Toby reluctanly showing up to the crime scene and cracking jokes. Richard was very offended by it, because he felt it wasn’t in Toby’s character to do those things, so much so that he started crying when Tommy Schlamme brought up that he heard he didn’t like it. (He even choked up while talking about it y’all I can’t! 😭)

• the plot was originally written for Sam

• holy crap he forgot Rob Lowe’s name too! Did this whole cast just block him out of their conscious? I’m freaking screaming rn this is the most hilarious thing

• the cast would travel to DC 3-4 times a year and would shoot 3-4 episodes worth of exteriors

• They weren’t allowed to shoot on the Korean War Memorial, but they did anyway. This is called a guerrilla shot, where they shoot on real locations without any warnings/permits.

• oh my god he’s tearing up again!

• I can’t take this!

• the actor who played Tom Noonan, the guy Toby talks to about where he could find someone who knew Walter, is a veteran

• there was a lot of rehearsal on the set, more than an average TV show. They created a culture where they would “rehearse for us, then rehearse for the camera.”

• I never even thought about if Toby would know why Mrs Landingham would want to go to the funeral, but I’m glad Richard played it as if he knew her story and remembered why she would want to.

• love Richard’s point about how great writers plant seeds and bring them up later instead of just randomly incorporating them at last minute

“If you don’t plant the seeds, the reveal isn’t impactful.”

Too many tv shows don’t do this, which is why they fail (in my book.)

• there is a lot of death in this episode. How did I never notice that?

• so Lowell Lydell was modeled after Matthew Shepard.

• I love how Josh keeps teasing Richard by saying “Rob Lowe?” everytime he forgets the name of something.

• “The Mets didn’t exist in ‘61.”

“Neither did I.”

“That’s fucked up.”

oh my god that was great

• “I was thinking ‘What would it be like to have sex with Allison Janney?’” honestly I already knew that story but still. amazing.

• Lisa Edelstein (Laurie) and Richard were on a show together called Relativity. She played the lesbian daughter of Richard’s character.

• honestly Richard is dropping some truth bombs. I would like to think this episode would win an Emmy today, but it would have a less chance with how overacted, dramatic and loud scenes/shows have to be nowadays.

“How people have to wave two hands, jump up and down, getting naked and then slit someone’s throat just to get people to look at you.”

• love hearing him talk about how great John Spencer was

• “You’ll do this with other episodes right?”

“Uh yeah.”

“That sounded tentative.”

“It’s not tentative. I just don’t know if I’m gonna be alive by Thursday. All doubt comes from the fact that I could be dead, soon.”

“Is there something we don’t know or is that just your take on life?”

“No I just think it’s the nature of existential strife.”

lmao

• holy crap there’s a part 2 to this??

• oh my god this was so long. This was probably the best one next to Dulè Hill’s. I’m gonna be really surprised if anyone reads all of this but I really enjoy doing them. I like typing out summaries/thoughts/favorite things so I can look back on them.

#the west wing #the west wing weekly #tww #in excelsis deo #richard schiff #i love doing these

[youvegotyourvictory]

Hamilton on Broadway

08.25.18

Yesterday was two months since I saw Hamilton with one of my very best friends. Making a list of some things I never want to forget.

1. I imagine death so much, it feels more like a memory

I’ve been listening to Hamilton for almost two and a half years. This line still hits me the same way it did when I was first learning the words.

2. Look around, look around, at how lucky we are to be alive right now

At the most random times, this line hits me like a bus. It’s not every day, but sometimes I do think about how miraculous it is that any of us are alive. How lucky we are.

3. King George is even funnier live and the album really doesn’t do his facial expressions justice, there’s no way it could. Just.....every time he was on stage, I laughed

4. Dying is easy, young man, living is harder

I think about this line all the time. Washington says it to Alex and obviously it speaks to Alex’s character, because he’s always willing to die but never really willing to use his strengths to stay alive. He always wants to fight and is ready to verbally take down anyone he deems fit—willing to die in a war that’s never really going to be his own, just to prove himself. All of that is so much easier than living.

5. Eliza in Helpless

I already love Eliza so much—both fictionalized character and real life woman—but she’s so cute in Helpless. It’s so great to see her this in love.

6. King George saying, “Everybody!” in You’ll Be Back and people coming out of the woodwork just so they can sing along with him

7. If there’s a reason I’m still alive when everyone who loves me has died then I’m willing to wait for it

I’ve spent a few late nights thinking about this, thinking of the legacy Burr left behind—how he just wanted to keep his mouth shut and stay out of trouble, until the moment it really counted. I can’t imagine all that must’ve motivated him, knowing he was the only person he had left. Everyone around him had died, and still he wanted to keep his head down and wait for a reason to do more.

8. Tomorrow there’ll be more of us

It’s probably for the best that this song isn’t on the original cast recording because if it was I would definitely cry every time I listened to it. I can’t even begin to express how much it kills me that John Laurens died before he could lead his regiment to safety—and ultimately, freedom. And Alex’s reaction to it, his pause and then, breathless, “I have so much work to do”—his immediate need to work faster and harder than he had before. There’s no doubt anywhere that he was deeply in love with Laurens.

On Tuesday the 27th, my son was killed in a gunfight against British troops retreating from South Carolina. The war was already over. As you know, John dreamed of emancipating and recruiting three thousand men for the first all-black military regiment. His dream of freedom for these men dies with him.

9. The part of Non-Stop when Angelica and Eliza are on the outer ring of the stage and then Hamilton is talking about both of them and once he’s done talking to Angelica the stage starts moving so she drifts away from him and then Eliza comes in to view

This is really one you just have to see in person to fully appreciate

10. Jefferson in the purple suit

I have never seen an article of clothing transform someone so easily and completely. Before, Lafayette was careful, calculated, etc, but as soon as the purple suit came out, he did a total 180 and strutted everywhere, fully in control of the stage. It was like magic.

11. Hamilton’s green suit

It’s a look and probably an aesthetic choice that some people don’t care for, but boy do I love it

12. The cabinet battles

Honestly what took everything to that next level was the fact that we were in New York watching it. Hearing “You could’ve been anywhere in the world tonight, but you’re here with us in New York City” felt so....incredible because I had never even listened to Hamilton in the city before. And it was true—we really could’ve been anywhere else, but we were there, in the theatre, watching it all unfold.

13. Take a Break

One of my favorites in the play, due entirely to Alex and Angelica’s exchange in the second verse. Also, Eliza’s beatboxing and Philip’s pride when he raps for Alex is something I wish I could replay forever. Hearing the screams of “un, deux, trois, quatre, and CIIIIIIIIIINQ” was something that made all of us burst into cheers and applause

In a letter I received from you two weeks ago, I noticed a comma in the middle of a phrase. It changed the meaning—did you intend this? One stroke and you’ve consumed my waking days. It says, “My dearest Angelica” with a comma after ‘dearest.’ You’ve written “my dearest, Angelica.”

The breath between ‘dearest’ and ‘Angelica’ is so much more pronounced live and I really wish I could live in that moment for the rest of my life

I also really love how they both take the time to focus on this and show that it holds a lot of weight and meaning to each of them, and then after a pause Angelica says, “Anyway, all this to say...” completely moving on from the subject

14. Southern motherfucking democratic republicans

No need to even say more than that. Y’all already know.

Actually I lied. I didn’t remember a lot from the bootleg going into this because it had been a decent amount of time since I’d last watched the whole thing—usually if it pops up on YouTube again I just listen to the few songs I know will make me sob, the ones I really want to hear, and then I leave it alone. I think in my head I kind of wanted to save it until I could finally see it in person. Before seeing it live, I think I’d only watched the bootleg all the way through maybe two times. It just felt like something I needed to wait for. It was well worth it. Anyway, like I said, I didn’t remember much so I certainly didn’t remember the shot of Burr, Jefferson, and Madison all walking together across the stage with the spotlight on them as they sang this part. Power move.

15. King George pulling up a stool so he can watch everything unfold, see all the drama as it happens, and watch Hamilton destroy his own career

I lost it at this part. I knew that he does this, but seeing it in person just made it so much funnier. Again, I think it was mainly due to really being able to see his facial expressions there. Just the thought of King George sitting there as all of this is happening in the 1700s is so funny to me and it’s just.....god it’s good

16. King George throwing Reynolds pamphlets and dancing around Hamilton was just....top-tier comedy

17. Hamilton’s black suit

That velvety suede one. If you know you know

18. Eliza’s scream at the end of Stay Alive (Reprise)

This was one of the moments I couldn’t forget the first time I watched the bootleg. No matter what I’m doing or where I am, if I’ve been completely fine throughout the rest of the songs, this is the moment that gets me every time. It’s always guaranteed to make me start crying. Not only is it heart wrenching to hear her scream after Philip has just died, but to see her yank her hand away from Alex when he tries to comfort her is something that’s been with me ever since that first watch. I don’t think I’ll ever really forget it.

19. It’s Quiet Uptown

I knew I wouldn’t make it out of this without sobbing. I usually don’t make it through the OCR without crying, and seeing it in person is so much more painful. Alex pleading with Eliza, telling her he’d change everything if he could, telling Philip that he would love where they moved to. Seeing Alex grieving, and then to see Eliza come in and be completely stoic, refusing to even look in Alex’s direction. Also the fact that literally everyone looks weary and so incredibly run down—even Angelica in her narration looks like she’s been crying for weeks.

Can you imagine?

Alex turning one of Eliza’s phrases back on her—look at where we are, look at where we started—he knows he’ll never be able to make this all up to her but he still begs her to let him in and let him try to help her.

It speaks volumes that all records state that Hamilton was never the same after Philip died—a large portion of him died that day too. Can you imagine?

Eliza, do you like it uptown? It’s quiet uptown.

One of the parts that gets me every single time, without fail: Look around, look around, Eliza.

I started crying during the last song and didn’t stop through the entirety of this one, but one part that made the tears flow faster was Eliza’s gentle “It’s quiet uptown” and Alex’s breakdown as soon as she speaks for the first time.

There’s a part in the Hamilton companion book that Lin wrote where he describes something that happened to the company during rehearsals and every time I read it I cry and cry, so I’ll just leave you with it:

The power of “It’s Quiet Uptown” was intact from its first day: Actors cried while singing it, the production team cried while listening to it, Andy couldn’t bear to choreograph it, not with his daughter, Sofia, fighting cancer, and getting sick on the way to school, and the whole family hoping the next round of chemotherapy would work. ... On November 16, 2014, Oskar and Laurie Eustis’s beloved son, Jack, died. He was 16 years old. ... Oskar and Laurie were about to spend half a year or more in the world of a show that pivots on the loss of a child. ... Two weeks later, the full company assembled for the first sing-through of the show ... when Oskar and Laurie walked in. ... Hearing “It’s Quiet Uptown” for the first time since their unimaginable loss was bound to be wrenching. It was wrenching, for everyone. When the sing-through ended, we offered words of consolation that were heartfelt but inadequate before a grief larger than anyone could comprehend. There was one thing that the Hamilton company didn’t know that day. When Lin had learned of Jack’s death, he had sent an email to Oskar and Laurie expressing his deepest condolences. He also sent them the demo recording of “It’s Quiet Uptown.” “If art can help us grieve, can help us mourn, then lean on it,” he wrote. If they preferred to delete the song, he would understand.

Oskar and Laurie did lean on it. In the rehearsal studio that afternoon, nobody knew that “It’s Quiet Uptown” was the only song they had listened to in their first week of mourning. They had listened to it every day.

20. Best of Wives and Best of Women

This one gets me every time. I know I’ve said that about everything so far, but god....this one is so meaningful.

I can’t say anything that will be better than what Lin has already said about the song so I’ll leave you with the liner notes he wrote from the Hamilton companion book:

In the musical of my life after I’m long gone, my wife Vanessa is going to be the one who steps forward as the hero. Vanessa is not particularly fond of musicals—she only likes good ones. She is not effusive in her praise, or boastful. But when I looked up from that Chernow book and said, “I think this is a hip-hop musical,” she didn’t laugh, or roll her eyes. She just said, “That sounds cool.” And that was all I needed to get started. As I fell in love with the idea of a love triangle between Eliza, Alexander, and Angelica, she said, “Can you have Angelica rap? That would be cool.”

I am someone who is so averse to travel that I wrote a whole musical about not wanting to leave my block in Washington Heights. It was Vanessa who booked us trips and time away from New York. “You don’t get any writing done here because life keeps popping up.” Thanks to her, Hamilton was written in Mexico, Spain, Nevis, Sagaponack, St. Croix, Puerto Rico, The Dominican Republic—long trips where Vanessa would take me there and then leave me alone to write while she explored. She is my first audience, and she’s a tough audience, so I know if I impress her I’ve cleared the highest possible bar. She’ll come home from work and say, “Your king tune was stuck in my head all day—that’s probably a good sign.”

This started out as a note trying to explain how my wife really is the ‘best of wives and best of women,’ but I’m trying to get at something more important—this show simply doesn’t exist without Vanessa. It’s a love letter to her.

21. The World Was Wide Enough

There’s nothing I could say here that would accurately sum up this one, so I’ll simply put this:

Death doesn’t discriminate between the sinners and the saints—it takes and it takes and it takes. History obliterates. In every picture it paints, it paints me and all my mistakes. When Alexander aimed at the sky, he may have been the first one to die, but I’m the one who paid for it. I survived, but I paid for it. Now I’m the villain in your history. I was too young and blind to see. I should’ve known. I should’ve known the world was wide enough for both Hamilton and me. The world was wide enough for both Hamilton and me.

One thing I’ll always remember: in the Hamilton documentary, Leslie Odom, Jr. is talking about Burr’s legacy, basically that he did all of these other things in his lifetime—a long war career, accomplished lawyer, worked with Hamilton on the first murder trial of the country, etc—but the one thing he’s most remembered for is being the man who shot Hamilton in a duel. Leslie talks about how much more Burr could’ve done if the duel hadn’t gone down the way it did, that it was a really sad moment in history, that Burr wasn’t a lonely man when he shot Hamilton. Burr had friends, a great job, so many things going for him, but still he chose to shoot Hamilton in that moment. Leslie goes on to say, “I think that our show is doing a really good job of...reminding us that....all of us are more than one thing.”

There’s another moment, from Lin’s episode of Drunk History, where he describes the duel and says, “And so, Burr’s the monster. And what’s ironic about that is Burr was never the monster. Burr was the cautious motherfucker who never let his opinion be known. And Hamilton was the reckless motherfucker who let his opinion be known about everything. And in the one moment where it counted most, Hamilton was cautious, and Burr was reckless. And that defined their legacies forever.”

22. There’s a moment that Lin took out that we don’t get to see, but I’m going to include it here anyway. Eliza, reading Hamilton’s last letter to her—the one he was writing when she begged him to “come back to bed, that would be enough.” Among his last words are these:

I need not tell you of the pangs I feel, from the idea of quitting you and exposing you to the anguish which I know you would feel. With my last idea; I shall cherish the sweet hope of meeting you in a better world. Adieu best of wives and best of Women. Ever yours

23. Eliza in the finale

As I said, I already love Eliza so much, but hearing this final song is something I’ll always think about.

Eliza lived fifty years beyond Hamilton’s death, something I can’t even begin to imagine doing. Of all the things Hamilton put her through, she still loved him in the end. In her own words—I am so tired, it is so long. I want to see Hamilton.

Again, during this I couldn’t help but remember the fact that we were in the very city where much of this musical takes place. All of these real events occurred in this city.

Hearing Eliza recount all she had done after Hamilton’s death is inspiring and exhausting and amazing, but the line that always got me and I knew would hit me even harder in New York City....

Oh. Can I show you what I’m proudest of? [The orphanage.] I establish the first private orphanage in New York City. [The orphanage.] I help to raise hundreds of children. I get to see them growing up. [The orphanage.] In their eyes I see you, Alexander. I see you every time.

Not only does she establish this orphanage, but it still lives on today. Eliza’s orphanage lives on in the form of the Graham Windham organization, a fact that always blows me away. She established and served as director of the orphanage for 27 years—she dedicated a significant portion of her life to this work. And to know that we were in the city where she did this, where she got to see the Hamilton legacy growing before her very eyes in the form of these children—I lost it.

Oh, I can’t wait to see you again. It’s only a matter of time.

Two months have passed and I still can’t believe I was there, really seeing Hamilton the way it was intended to be seen. I’ll never forget it, and I hope someday I’ll get to do it again.

#finally I got around to typing all this out!! #sorry for the long post I just really had a lot to say!!!!!! #hamilton0825 #text #personal

[h0ldthiscat]

April in Austin

There is literally no need for anyone to write fanfiction for The Leftovers because it’s honestly the most perfect thing that’s ever existed, but because I do The Most, Always, I got this idea and it wouldn’t let me be. 

So enjoy this! Or don’t. 

X

The tile floor in the dealership is so shiny she can see her own reflection. There she is again, just below her sneakers. Alice through the looking glass. Herself and not herself. How would anyone tell them apart? Nora gone topsy-turvy. Both pairs of her simple, white sneakers are scuffed around the toes, shoelaces greying. The heels are reddish from the Texas dust.

The climate had taken some getting used to. She’d had a cough for weeks, a terribly dry, hacking cough that would wake her up in the middle of the night. She remembered the fire, being shaken awake by Matt, being pulled from between her stuffed animals weeks before she’d started second grade. She’d sit upright on their mattress, and take in deep, gasping breaths, splash her face with water in the bathroom, and rock Lily, who she’d inevitably woken.

But she’s used to it now.

She doesn’t miss the winter. She thought she might pine for snow, that it might make her a little melancholy to walk outside in February and not need a jacket. But two winters have come and passed in Jarden and she doesn’t miss March in New York, with clumps of greying snow still piled high in strip mall parking lots. She doesn’t miss the colorless skies and the days that end at 3pm.

“I didn’t know there were this many Garth Brooks songs,” Kevin groans, inclining his head to the speaker above them.

It takes her a moment to realize he’s spoken. “What?” Nora asks.

“It’s like the fifth one they’ve played.” He sings along tunelessly, “I’ve got friends in low places…” She manages a half-hearted smile that’s meant to encourage him, but he stops, clears his throat. “What time did you make the appointment for?”

Nora checks her watch. “Noon. It’s been nearly an hour.”

“We’re gonna have to reschedule with Jill.”

“No, don’t do that. She’s looking forward to seeing you.”

Kevin reaches over and squeezes her hand. “And you.”

She’s sure he’s right. Jill had taken to her quickly and without question two years ago, seeing Nora less as a stereotypical stepmother and more as a confidant. Things had never been awkward or terse between them, even after Nora had needed her space. Jill seemed to have an infinite well of forgiveness and understanding inside of her, something that most people would be lucky to have even a fraction of.

She thinks of the drive to Jarden, the four and a half interminable days in the truck, all of them buzzing with the energy of people starting a new life. While Kevin pumped the gas, she and Jill would take turns walking the dog--god, that fucking dog--around the perimeter of whatever concrete square they’d stumbled upon. Jill would speak freely, words coming out of her like she hadn’t spoken for a year, like her mother. Like her real mother.

“You should call her,” Nora says, taking a deep breath. “Tell her we’ll be late.”

“No, you call her,” Kevin sighs, checking his watch. “She won’t answer if it’s me.”

“Yeah, okay.”

Nora hadn’t gone with them to move Jill to Austin last year. They’d shopped together for a duvet cover and dorm room decor, searched online for cheap textbooks; she and Kevin had gotten into an argument loading the truck with those ugly clear storage bins. And then she just kept picturing the car ride up there: her and Kevin and Laurie and John and Jill all squeezed into the cab, a cut-and-paste family that they’d slapped together in the aftermath of the apocalypse. Would Jill sit up front with her dad? Would she want to sit with Laurie, sandwiched in the backseat? It made Nora’s head hurt, so she’d ultimately decided to stay home, said she wasn’t feeling well, and kissed Jill goodbye on the forehead.

Jill doesn’t pick up and the voicemail beep catches Nora by surprise.

“Hey, Jill. It’s Nora. Um, your dad and I are running a little behind at the car place, will you be okay if we don’t do lunch until 3? I know that’s a little late. Do you have class? Just call me, let me know. Bye.” She hangs up and chucks her phone into her purse. “Voicemail.”

“Yeah, I got that.” Kevin runs a hand over his face.

Nora checks her watch. “We made an appointment for a reason, this is ridiculous.”

“Maybe they’re just backed up or something--”

Before she can think twice about it, Nora marches to the front desk. “Excuse me,” she says loudly, making the young woman seated there jump. “Hi. We had an appointment an hour ago and no one’s come to check in with us.”

The woman smiles tentatively, her dark eyes wide. “I can look up the appointment for you, what’s the last name?”

She feels Kevin at her side, sliding a hand across her shoulder. “Everything okay?”

She gives him a quick smile. “Yeah honey, we’re fine.” She turns back to the counter girl. “It should be under Durst.”

“Durst…” The woman mumbles to herself and types it in the computer. “I’m sorry Mrs. Durst, we don’t have any records under that name…”

“That’s impossible, I made the reservation two weeks ago when we knew we’d be in town.”

“I’m sure you did ma’am, but--”

“Don’t call me ma’am.”

Kevin’s hand is at the small of her back, rubbing tiny circles. He’s so gentle she could punch him. “Nora.” His voice is quiet, so quiet she’s almost the only one who can hear it.

A headache throbs at the bridge of her nose and she tries again. “Can we, uh--Is there someone else who can show us some options today?”

“Y’all don’t want to reschedule?”

“No, we don’t. We’re only up here today, and I need to buy a car today because I start work next week.”

“Well if y’all are in a hurry I can show you some models that are ready to go. You can walk away with one of them today.”

“I know, that’s why we made an appointment.”

“Nora…” Kevin squeezes her shoulder.

She sighs. “That’d be great. Please.”

“Great! Well my name’s Lily, and I’m so excited you’ve chosen--”

For a moment Nora thinks she might pass out. She wonders if she’s fallen through the floor, become the Other Nora under her feet, her reflection. The girl’s lips move, but Nora doesn’t hear her. Her ears ring like someone’s fired a gun beside her head. For an instant, her chest is leaden, a huge weight crushing her, pulverizing her into the red dust stuck in the soles of her sneakers. She remembers reading once that the symptoms of a heart attack are different in women, but she can’t remember what they are.

“I’m--I’m sorry,” she hears herself say, though her tongue is thick and awkward in her mouth. “Can we--is there someone else who we--who can--”

“Honey, she’s the only--” Kevin stops. She feels his hand come to rest at the small of her back, grounding her. She comes back to her body, amazed to find herself still standing. Her chest loosens, her breaths rise and fall normally. Conscious and vertical, a professor of hers used to joke when he was asked after.

“You know what,” Kevin says, “why don’t we show ourselves around and we’ll come grab you if anything catches our eye?”

The girl nods and smiles; Nora thinks she feels her glare at her but she can’t tell. Kevin guides her away, out into the parking lot, and the heat hits her right in the back of the throat, like opening the dryer. Like her smoke-filled childhood bedroom. Like a bike ride on a very cold day. There aren’t really any cold days in Jarden.

Kevin takes her hand and they walk up and down the aisles, trying to find something new-ish that won’t break the bank. Before everything, on the days when she’d wanted some time alone, she’d pictured herself, hair tied up with a printed scarf, waving out the window of an old convertible on her way to god knows where. Now she’d settle for a sunroof and good gas mileage.

“You okay back there?” Kevin asks.

“I’m great,” she says airly, not meeting his eyes.

“Everyone here drives white trucks, you notice that?” Kevin says, pointing at the row as they walk past.

“They don’t get as hot, I guess.” Nora shrugs.

They stroll past shiny SUVs, past station wagons with their little hatchbacks and sedans that somehow all boast they were MotorTrend’s car of the year, and stop at the end of an aisle in the back, mostly older models that wouldn’t look as good out front.

“I haven’t shopped for a car since I was pregnant with Jeremy,” she says, hands on her hips. She squints into the Texas sun and Kevin shifts uncomfortably beside her. “It’s okay,” she tells him. “I don’t mind talking about it.”

“You just--you don’t say their names very often,” he says.

“It doesn’t mean I don’t think about them.”

Years ago when she’d tried therapy, her therapist had told her that grief was a river, and her loss was the current: constantly moving, shifting, but always in the same direction. She pictures her children in little bubbles atop the water, like Alice after she drinks the potion, floating along with 140 million other bubbles. Is Lily there with them? No, she thinks bitterly, Lily isn’t in the water, because her real mommy decided she wanted her back.

“Hey,” he says, “if you’re--nervous about going back to work…”

“I’m not nervous. I liked my job. I’m thankful to have it back. It’ll be good.”

Kevin nods. “Yeah.”

Nora kicks at a huge tire on one of the trucks in the row. “What if I got one of these things? How small do you think someone’s dick has to be to have a truck like this?”

Kevin laughs. “You don’t have a dick but you’ve got pretty big balls, I’ll give you that.”

“You sure know how to flatter a lady.” Swept with a sudden burst of affection for him, she kisses him hard, standing on tiptoe in her sneakers. “Wanna check this thing out?” she asks, inclining her head toward the ridiculously huge truck beside them.

“Is it unlocked?” Kevin asks.

She hoists herself up and tugs at the handle of the back door, and gets a rush of giddy delight when it opens. She’d been a pretty well-behaved teenager, with only the occasional burst of impulsive recklessness. No late night jumps out the window to meet boys at parties. No joints behind the dumpsters at school--well, not many. Her circumstances had been interesting enough, she hadn’t needed that thrill like the other kids did.

But now, in a used car lot in Texas, she gets why people break the rules.

“Nora, we--”

“Shh, get up here!”

From the backseat she extends her hand down to him. He looks at her the way he always does, with one eyebrow raised and a smirk in the corner of his mouth, like maybe he doesn’t believe anything she says. Or maybe he believes all of it. It’s been nearly three years, after all. Two and a half? Is that all? She’s not sure where she should start counting from.

Last year in bed, Kevin said, “Do you think we should get married?”

She’d shrugged. “I was married once and I don’t think I’d like to be again.”

“I don’t need it. I was just wondering if you wanted to.”

“A marriage to you would almost certainly end in divorce,” she’d teased. When he looked stung she’d laughed and kissed his shoulder. “I mean, historically speaking.”

“Your track record’s not so great either.”

“Kevin, all I’ve got are happy memories of you in divorce court and I’d never want to ruin those.”

In the backseat of the truck, he puts his hand on her knee, rubs his thumb at the apex of her patella. “Whatcha thinking about?” he asks.

She blinks a couple of times, almost heady with new car smell. “Who wants leather seats in a truck?” she asks. “Wouldn’t they get ruined?”

“Okay. What are you really thinking about?” Kevin asks.

Nora reaches over and picks at a hole in the leg of his jeans. He’s so warm all the time. “Divorcing you.”

He kisses her quietly, almost nervously. Like they’re teenagers in the back of someone’s dad’s car. Like he’s never lifted her off the floor of the shower when she doesn’t think she’ll ever be able to move again. Like he’s hopeful.

“What do you think?” he asks against her cheek. “A big truck for the lady with big balls?”

“I don’t wanna buy this one,” she says, “but let’s see how roomy this backseat is.”

Kevin smirks. “Are you serious?”

“As a heart attack.”

She takes his hand and puts it on her thigh, just below her jean shorts. When she kisses him she tastes the sweat on his upper lip, feels his stubble against her chin, her cheek. He’s growing it out, but she knows he’d never say it’s for her.

He’s pulling her shirt from the waistband of her shorts when her phone buzzes in her back pocket, vibrating against the leather seat she’d mocked moments earlier.

“That’ll be Jill,” she mumbles, and thinks, fuck your daughter. She smirks against his mouth.

Kevin’s hands still at her waist. “Yeah.”

“Hey honey,” she says, answering the phone. “Did you get my voicemail?”

Jill’s voice is tinny on the other end of the line. Wind whips past the speaker, making her hard to hear. She’d totally gotten her days mixed up, she’s so sorry, couldn’t they do it the next time they’re in town? Her next class is in thirty minutes anyway. She’s really sorry. How’s Dad? How’s--

Jill stops, catching herself before it derails the conversation. Nora pretends not to notice. She nods and assures her that it’s fine. Kevin grumbles something about it not being fine and that he misses her, he’ll call her later. Nora gives a cheerful, upwardly-inflected goodbye; she hears herself like she’s at one end of a tunnel, like she’s racing uphill towards daybreak and the only desperate thought in her ragged mind is, just keep me where the light is.

#i write so little now that everything i post is like anxiety!!!!!! #but yeah here it is #my writing #the leftovers

[heypoliticsdad]

NYC General Election Endorsements November 2017

Oh yes, y’all, strap in. Another long one awaits. I am not weighing in on every race here; there’s too much for me to keep track of and there’s a lot I don’t know. Especially in city council races, it’s so local that it’s hard to keep track if you’re too far away. It’s also true that a lot of these races aren’t that contested (have you changed your party affiliation?), so there isn’t much to say. In races where there is a clear front runner, even if I kind of hate them, I’m not bothering to weigh in. 

I also am noticing two things about these endorsements: one, that there are two places where I recommend a male upstart over an existing female candidate; two, that I am clearly biased against incumbents. I’m not quite sure what to do with either of those things, but I wanted to name them as important. The city council stands to lose several women this time around, and while my feminism isn’t as simplistic as “women are automatically the best candidate,” I am still unsure what role misogyny is playing here, especially when incumbency means you have more to be hated for.

Want to know who’s on your ballot? Go here. Want to know where you vote? Go here. Polls are open 6am to 9pm so you really have no excuse.

Finally: when in doubt, write in Beyoncé. 

Mayor: Write in Beyoncé I can’t in good faith say vote for Bill de Blasio. He just hasn’t done enough good. The approval of the Bedford Armory redevelopment is just the latest fuckery in his “affordable housing” plan; he has the stank of corruption around him. He’s done some cool things but a lot of those cool things were already in process. Short of some kind of freak occurrence, he’s going to win (I’m not even going to bother looking up the correct spelling of his GOP opponent’s last name, it’s like that) and so you might as well write someone in. Beyoncé gets shit done. She would be ruthlessly effective and the longer she goes the more politicized she becomes. If we’re going to live in an oligarchy, I want my billionaire overlord to be the one that sunk a police car in a music video.

Public Advocate: Team Tish! I like what Tish James has done for us. I feel like I am waiting for the romance to be over and it’s possible I’ve missed some things. But she’s been a good public advocate, has stuck up for people, and I feel an overall sense of goodwill about her. The Public Advocate job is a weird one – tasked with advocating for the public – and I think necessarily this requires about some grandstanding as well as actually resolving complaints. It seems like she’s done good work so far, has the work to back up the grandstanding, and she’s definitely the best of the options.

Comptroller: Oh whatever, just go for Scott Stringer, or Beyoncé He’s better than the other guy, I think.

Manhattan DA: Write in Marc Fliedner. Remember the Brooklyn DA primary? With 500 people lining up around the block to be the most progressive? Marc Fliedner was one of those. He actually got ranked the best by the 5 Boro Defenders, a largely POC group of public defenders in the city. I ended up going for Anne Swern by a hair; Marc would have also been a good choice. Now he’s running in Manhattan as a write-in against Cy Vance, the sitting DA who is recently best known as declining to prosecute people who contributed to his campaign. (de Blasio, the Kushners, Harvey Weinstein). I feel great endorsing Marc as a write-in. Tell your friends!

District 1: Christopher Marte, I think I don’t know a lot about the long-term context of this race. I know that Margaret Chin is one of these funny third-term council members, a long-time incumbent. It’s hard to tell what her district thinks of her. I can’t find a good reason she gives for not doing participatory budgeting and it seems like there’s a lot of rage in the neighborhood around her work to preserve affordable housing, especially around the Two Bridges development. I’m a pragmatic guy at heart and her answers were, well, pragmatic; however, they’re a lot of that weird “people don’t really know what went into making these deals, we really tried” without actually telling people what went into making the deals and what she tried. Christopher Marte is from the neighborhood, evidently very involved, but in the way where it’s hard to know if what he does is as important as it looks on paper. He has the League of Independent Theaters’ endorsement, which also matters to me, although Chin’s overall list is much longer and includes Make the Road NYC and Planned Parenthood. She’s squarely in the middle of the City and State NY’s ranking of city council members. I read both of their responses to the Citizens Union survey about open government and found his more compelling. So vote Christopher Marte, I think, but I’m willing to be wrong about this one.

District 35: Jabari Brisport Laurie Cumbo sold out her district to the Bedford Armory. She has repeatedly bowed to developer pressure and the people just don’t like her. She attracted primary pressure, but the power of incumbency propelled her; luckily, people are still running. His Citizens Unite survey is full of the kind of truisms about government you get from the idealistic left, but what the eff, he’ll be a strong member of the progressive caucus. It’s a shame Ede Fox didn’t beat Cumbo in the primary, but I am happy to open the door to Brisport. I don’t think Cumbo is bad – she’s actually very highly ranked as a councilmember in responsiveness to her constituents, and she’s been the prime sponsor on a lot of bills about things that I think matter (% for arts reporting, public art, sex ed, multilingual information on housing.) Butttt…..I’m leaning Brisport. By a hair.

District 40: Brian Cunningham, Brian Cunningham, Brian Cunningham Mathieu Eugene has been a trash councilman. He has been the lead sponsor on only 7 bills in 10 years. He can’t even get a crosswalk made for a school. He might not even live in the district. Cunningham is young, he’s full of energy, he’s from the neighborhood, he’s worked with youth, and even if he ends out to be no good he’ll be no good in a new, better way. Cunningham is endorsed by the Working Families Party, the Stonewall Democrats, Planned Parenthood, TenantsPAC, and the Brooklyn Independent Democrats (we like them! They’re not the IDC!) 60% of the district voted for someone other than Eugene in the Democratic primary, but the vote split; Cunningham had the Reform endorsement which meant he could be on the general ballot on their line. He’s got good ideas about housing and more than that seems to actually care about what he does. You’re going to have to go to the Reform Party line to vote for him – he got the WFP endorsement too late to be on the ballot with them – so scoot that pencil to the right column and fill in that box. (Full disclosure: I’ve been volunteering with them.)

Prop 1: The Con Con:……no, but I hate myself a little and I might change my mind. Oh, the Con Con. I have been wrestling with this one and frankly it’s part of why this is coming out only one day before the election. There is so much good that could come from this, and so much bad that could come from it. The right says it’s a bad idea because the left would control the agenda; the left says it’s a bad idea because the right would control the agenda. Public unions are against it because of the risk to pensions. It’ll cost so much! (Will it cost so much?) It’s the only way to make change aside from our dysfunctional system! (Is it the only way to make change aside from our dysfunctional system?) The last one did nothing in the end! The one before that did so much! Most of our progressive laws come from constitutional conventions! The Koch brothers would take it over! NYCLU is against it; Citizens Union is for it. Unions are against it; progressive politicians are for it. The New York Times is against it; Newsday Long Island is for it. I have been watching debates and reading articles and it is one giant, messy ball.

The fact of the matter is this: no one knows what will happen because everything goes up for grabs. Everyone agrees on this. The pro side is arguing this presents an enormous opportunity for change: home rule for cities! Gender expression could be a protected class! Early voting! Legislative term limits! A unicameral legislature! The con side is basically making the same argument, only the bad side: loss of union pensions! Rolling back of the right to shelter! Gerrymandered senate districts leading to a conservative delegate base! The pro side says this is a chance for the government to truly be shaped by the people; the con side says the process will be hopelessly corrupt and just cost people money.

Voting yes hits all my love of sweeping action and big change. Past conventions are what have given us many of the things that already make New York relatively progressive: the “forever wild” land preserve, the right to welfare, expansion of voting rights. It’s a seductive argument. How often do we as progressives get a chance to build something from the ground up?

And yet. You might have noticed this isn’t a great time for progressives at the ballot box. One of the few things that I have not heard countered by the pro side is the fact that the statewide left is weak; Democrats aren’t even organized enough to get rid of the IDC, let alone a statewide progressive caucus. The unions are against it because they don’t feel they can guarantee a progressive outcome, and to me when someone publicly says they aren’t sure how powerful they are, you listen. That gerrymandering is real, and while a majority of the state senate districts went for Clinton over Trump, the state Senate is split more or less evenly. 

How all that translates to a vote really boils down to this: are you a pragmatist or are you an idealist? Are you a risktaker or do we play it safe? In my heart of hearts, I want to believe in the con con. I want to believe we can do something great. But…I just can’t get over the feeling in my gut that this is not the moment. Politics worldwide don’t look good for progressive, expansive views, and especially in the United States it’s a moment for the left to be very careful with the risks we take. So I say vote no, but grudgingly, and I reserve the right to change my mind at the last minute in the voting box and make an idealistic, possibly reckless vote.

Prop 2: Cut Pensions for Public Officials Convicted of Corruption Yes really. It’s a question. FOR GOODNESS SAKE’S VOTE YES. It doesn’t even automatically cut these pensions. It just makes it an option for judges when the circumstances warrant it. VOTE YES. I’m not even giving you a link; if you vote against this, just go home.

Prop 3: Land Bank for Modifications for Forever Wild This is one of those upstate questions that we down here don’t really think about. Basically, it comes down to this: right now, the “forever wild” lands upstate can’t be developed for any reason. This seems good until you realize, say, a bridge needs to be repaired, only it can’t be repaired without a constitutional amendment because the repair would need to use some small corner of the forever wild land. This proposition would create a bank wherein the state would buy 250 acres of new forever wild land and then make the same amount of land available for projects like bridges and internet cables. This makes sense and is endorsed by the Nature Conservancy as well as a broad coalition of preservation groups for both the Adirondacks and the Catskills, which is good enough for me. 

Ok, if you made it to the end, one more thing: this ad for Kalman Yeger in Boro Park. That race is its own hot ticket - Yoni Hikind, Dov Hikind’s son, against Kalman Yeger. The Forward goes into the underground heat, but I just want to give Kalman Yeger an award for the jingle of the election (and for all I know, this is a dis track, but I don’t know enough Yiddish to figure it out):

#concon #nycelections #elections2017 #briancunningham #nyc city council #votebeyonce

[wbwest]

New Post has been published on WilliamBruceWest.com

New Post has been published on http://www.williambrucewest.com/2017/05/05/west-week-ever-pop-culture-review-5517/

West Week Ever: Pop Culture In Review - 5/5/17

In TV news, we got the first trailer for Marvel’s The Defenders series on Netflix. I dunno, y’all. I’ll be the first person to tell you that I’m behind on these shows. At this point, I’ve only seen Daredevil season 1 and Jessica Jones. No DD S2, no Luke Cage, and no Iron Fist. Sorry, kids, but there just aren’t enough hours in the day. Daredevil was a worthy bingeing experience, as each episode ended on a cliffhanger that MADE you have to check out the next episode immediately. Jessica Jones, not so much. It took me about 3 months to get through that show. Now, I enjoyed it, but it didn’t demand that I consume it immediately. I’m eager to catch Luke Cage, but I wanna go in order, so that means I’ve got to meet the Punisher and Elektra first in Daredevil season 2. So, even though The Defenders comes out in August, I’ll be lucky if I get to it in 2017. Anyway, I told you all that to make you see that my level of enthusiasm for this probably isn’t as high as yours because I’m so far behind. That said, I thought this trailer looked hokey as Hell. The scene where Murdock comes into Jessica’s interrogation felt like a bad fan film. Shit, the whole thing felt like a bad fan film. Remember when Playstation Network aired that Bendis Powers show? Yeah, it looks like that. Something about the cinematography of it all. And then they had to do another goddamn hallway fight. WE GET IT ALREADY! I just don’t know about this one right now..

In other TV news, there are talks of a Roseanne revival, with ABC and Netflix interested bidding on the project. Laurie Metcalf, Aunt Jackie herself, reported that contracts have been worked out, so now they’re just trying to sell the series. Right now, Roseanne (does she currently have a last name?), John Goodman, and Sara Gilbert would star, while Metcalfe says she’s on board in some capacity. It’ll be interesting to see how they pull this off, ya know with Dan being dead and all. Still, it ended with one of the most maligned series finales in television history, and they’ve got a chance to basically erase it. How many shows can say that? Anyway, I was never a huge Roseanne fan. They were just so poor and depressing. Are they gonna lose the bike shop? Are they gonna lose the loose meat restaurant? Is Fisher gonna stop beating up Jackie? I know their struggles resonated with certain folks, but not me. I actually liked the Lottery Season because I could say “Thank God their lives aren’t such shit anymore!” Anyway, I’d bet money on this happening, so it’s now just a matter of where it’s gonna air. The big question is in which “universe” it will be set. After all, the finale basically laid out that everything since about season 4 of the show had been a lie, since Darlene actually ended up with Mark, Becky was the one with David, Jackie was a lesbian, etc. So, would we get the “true” Roseanne, or just more of what we’re used to? And with Mark dead, and David on The Big Bang Theory, I don’t really expect much from those characters anyway. I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.

I was on my own last weekend, so I took the time to watch TV and catch up comics. Well, I didn’t really watch TV, but it was on in the background. It provided the soundtrack to my comic time. What did I watch? CMT – Country Music Television. Yeah, yeah, you hate country. I don’t care. I grew up on it, so it has a special place in my heart. Anyway, when I saw Brad Paisley’s new video for “Last Time For Everything”, I KNEW I had to share it with y’all. This thing is a love letter to children of the 80s, complete with tracking/tape distortion lines. I don’t wanna spoil anything, so just check it out. Don’t worry – the song’s not about drankin’, or a dead dog, or his wife left him; it’s just a song about appreciating things when you have them because they won’t always be there.

The backdoor pilot for the Black-ish spinoff aired this week. Oh, you don’t know what a “backdoor pilot” is? It’s when an established show gives up one of its episodes to try to launch a new show. Since it already has a built-in audience, it kinda tricks viewers into watching a new show that they otherwise wouldn’t have checked out. Married…with Children had, like, 4 of them. Anyway, in Black-ish, Zoey went off to check out college, made a new best friend, and pissed off the Black Student Union. The whole episode was kinda hokey, but it worked. Chris Parnell was the spineless dean, which is basically every Chris Parnell character these days. And I love how they worked Deon Cole’s Charlie into the plot. If the spinoff gets picked up (I mean, why wouldn’t it?), I hope he gets a bigger role there than he has on Black-ish. If Black-ish is a modern-day Cosby Show, then this is its A Different World. And there ain’t nothing wrong with that, really.

If you like useless gimmick items as much as I do, then make sure you pick up your Frork from McDonalds today. To celebrate the release of their three new Signature Crafted Recipes (Pico Guacamole, Sweet BBQ Bacon, and Maple Bacon Dijon), they’re releasing a utensil that they know nobody needs, but hey, why not? The Frork is basically a fry holder, where the fries act as the tines of the fork. In the infomercial, complete with Anthony Sullivan appearance, they claim the Frork will help you scoop up the toppings that fall off your overflowing sandwich. I swear Anthony Sullivan killed Billy Mays ‘so he’d get ALL that sweet infomercial work. But I digress…If you would like a Frork, check this link to see if one of your local McDonalds locations is giving them out today.

Things You Might Have Missed This Week

HBO has hired writers for FOUR potential Game of Thrones spinoffs. So, get ready for Match of Chairs, Bout of Seats, Mother of Dragons and, my personal favorite, Tits & Swords.

Warner Bros has pushed back its theatrical animated Scooby-Doo film two years to 2020.

Girl Meets World is officially dead, as creator Michael Jacobs was unable to find a new home for the series.

While this news is about a month old, FXX has decided against a fourth season of Man Seeking Woman, which wrapped up its 3rd season in March. The season finale was a fitting series finale, so I ain’t mad.

Hot on the heels of its premiere, Hulu has renewed The Handmaid’s Tale for a second season.

Surprising no one, Fox canceled the freshman drama Pitch, about the first female major league baseball player. Following on their heels, NBC canceled the Wizard of Oz update Emerald City.

It was reported that Gabriel Luna’s Ghost Rider will be returning to Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. for the season finale

Speaking of Marvel TV, we got our first cast picture from Inhumans. KILL IT! KILL IT WITH FIRE!

We also got our first look at the cast of Marvel’s Runaways on Hulu. They look like the comic, but I still hate that they aged Molly. I like her more as a precocious child to balance them out.

A strike by the Writers Guild of America, which would’ve affected all corners of entertainment, was narrowly averted at the 11th hour

Morning Joe hosts Joe Scarborough and Mika Brzezinski revealed that they’re engaged. Man, they shit in the company ink! That’s the saying, right?

The biggest TV news of the week was that Ryan Seacrest was announced as Kelly Ripa’s permanent cohost on what will now be called Live with Kelly & Ryan. This bothered me so much! First of all, I was really kinda hoping an underdog, like Fred Savage, would get it. And if they had to go with a media person, they had Anderson Cooper and Andy Cohen on the list. But Seacrest?! The dude’s empire is based in LA and, yes, he has an empire. He’s a modern-day Merv Griffin, producing Keeping Up With The Kardashians, Shades of Blue, and Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve with Ryan Seacrest. He also has a daily syndicated radio show, On Air With Ryan Seacrest, as well as hosts the weekly American Top 40 countdown. With all that going on, you’d think he’d stay in LA instead of taking a job from a New Yorker. Instead, iHeartMedia has built a radio station in the ABC Studios building so that he can do his radio show immediately after taping Live. The plan is for him to stay in New York Monday-Thursday to film Live, he’ll pretape Friday’s show on Thursday, and then he’ll spend Friday-Sunday in LA.

But that’s not ALL the Seacrest news this week. You see, talks of an American Idol revival have heated up again. I wrote about it a few weeks ago, when NBC and Fox were both interested in the show – NBC especially because they could, then, reduce The Voice to one cycle a year. Those talks fell through, but now it appears that ABC has gotten into the game, with one stipulation: there’s no Idol without Seacrest, so the show would have to move to New York so he could continue to host. The show’s production company, Fremantle, insists that it stays in LA. ABC wants to announce it during the May upfronts, which occur in two weeks, for a Fall 2018 premiere (yeah, it ain’t gonna be ready by this Fall). So here’s the plan on how that would work: Fremantle wants to air Idol on Sunday nights from LA, where Seacrest would then fly to NYC after the show in order to make it in time to film Live Monday morning. After filming Monday’s Live, he would then fly back to LA for the Idol results show. Once that’s over, he would fly back to NYC in time for Tuesday’s Live. My God! The live portion of Idol is only 10 weeks, but that is a grueling schedule that I wouldn’t wish on anyone. So far, however, it seems that ABC’s plan would be to air Idol on Mondays, to go head to head with The Voice, so this plan wouldn’t work.

Say what you will about Seacrest, but I’ve always admired the dude’s work ethic. He doesn’t seem to know the word “no”, and he’s constantly building his brand. With the exception of the short-lived On Air With Ryan Seacrest TV show (which is conveniently missing from his Wikipedia entry), he doesn’t really fail at anything. I guess hard work and determination really can take you places. I’ll tell ya, back when he was hosting Click and Gladiators 2000, I had NO CLUE he would become as big as he is. He makes me wanna go out and get 3 more jobs. Then again, I wouldn’t have his net worth of $330 million, but it’d be a start. Anyway, for taking all the jobs, while growing in power, Ryan Seacrest had the West Week Ever.

#80s #Comics #Country #Marvel #Music #Television #West Week Ever

[juspeczyk]

Questions for the Blogger!

Tagged by: @waiting4codot​ and bro i love u but i’m not even gonna try translating whatever dialect u typed this in

Rules: Answer 30 questions and tag 20 blogs you are contractually obligated to know better

1. Nicknames: piri, spooky

2. Gender: lady, but like, the joan jett type of lady... the marlene-dietrich-in-a-3-piece-tux type of lady

3. Star sign: libra

4. Height: 5″0′............... a hobbit

5. Time: 10:07pm, pacific time

6. Birthday: october 14! ya girl just turned 22

7. Favourite Bands: panic! at the disco, fall out boy, my chemical romance, bastille, maroon 5, alt-j, walk the moon, depeche mode, milky chance, the mountain goats, paramore

8. Favourite solo artists: marina and the diamonds, lana del rey, sia, nicole dollanganger, melanie martinez, hayley kiyoko, lady gaga, kesha, that poppy

9. Song stuck in my head: honestly. the jurassic park theme

10. Last movie I watched: wonder woman

11. Last show I watched: my mom’s watching the good doctor but i can’t take it seriously at all so i’m putting dancing with the stars

12. When did I create my blog: oh god fuck if i remember

13. What do I Post/Reblog: y’all are here, y’all know what i’m into

14. Last Thing I Googled: “technique”

15. Other Blogs: so many. too many

16. Do I get asks: sometimes ya

17. Why I Chose My URL: because laurie juspeczyk aka silk spectre ii is wife goals life goals. also because i too am an angry feminist of eastern (?) european descent with daddy issues

18. Following: 381

19. Followers: 928

20. Average Hours of Sleep: 8

21. Lucky number: don’t have one

22. Instruments: i played viola in high school but that was 4 years ago so nah

23. What am I wearing: grey leggings, socks, a washington state loungey shirt

24. Dream job: comic book writer/artist/general creative contributor

25. Dream Trip: the catacombs of europe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

26. Favourite Food: mac and cheese, pizza, artichoke

27. Nationality: american

28. Favourite Song RIGHT NOW: the entire dead man’s bones album

29. Last Book Read: american gods, justice league dark (new 52) vol. 1

30. Top Three Fictional Universes You’d Want to Join: my heart says dc but my brain says i’d die or be horribly traumatized within 72 hours of living in gotham city and that becky albright would probably punch me in the face, adventure time, star trek

Tagging: just do this and say i tagged u ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#piri.txt

[celebritylive]

Hundreds of mourners gathered together at Harvest Christian Fellowship, not to say goodbye to late Pastor Jarrid Wilson, but rather, as Senior Pastor Greg Laurie put it, “I will see you again.”

“We will see him again in Heaven,” Laurie said at Jarrid’s memorial service on Tuesday.

Jarrid, a former pastor at the Southern California church and mental health advocate, died by suicide on Sept. 9. He was 30.

During the service, Laurie spoke of the many fond memories he has of the late spiritual leader, saying, “Jarrid Wilson was literally one of the nicest people I ever met. He was outgoing, friendly, caring and compassionate.”

“He was also a powerful and effective communicator. We have all felt this loss deeply,” Laurie said.

“I believe Jarrid Wilson is in Heaven. He put his faith in Christ, and Romans 8:38 reminds us that nothing will ever separate us from the Love of God. One dark moment in a Christian’s life cannot undo what Christ did for us on the cross. When you stand before God, you won’t be judged by the last thing you did before you died but by the last thing Jesus did when He died.”

RELATED: Church Where Pastor Jarrid Wilson Preached Before His Suicide Death Hosts Service in His Honor

Laurie went on to comfort those trying to make sense of Jarrid’s sudden death, explaining, “As Christians, we live on promises not explanations.”

“We shouldn’t be spending too much time wondering ‘Why.’ Better than asking ‘Why?’ We should be asking, ‘Who do we turn to at an hour like this?’ The answer is Jesus Christ.”

“We must remember that our lives belong to God. Jarrid would be the first person to have told us to not take our lives to end our pain. He did that for many and no doubt saved many lives in the process. In times of pain, we have the Lord and we have each other in the Church to turn to.”

“There was one moment when Jarrid lost sight of that. We need to listen to what Jarrid told us in his best days, not his worst. As Eric Wilson, Jarrid’s father reminded us, ‘We should not remember Jarrid for the way he died, but rather for the way he lived,'” Laurie added.

At the memorial, many members of Jarrid’s family, including his wife Juli Wilson spoke.

Following the service, Juli thanked everyone “that came out to honor his life.”

“We are so very grateful for each and every one of you.”

Just a couple days before the memorial, Juli revealed that while she is still mourning the death of her husband, she is leaning on God during this difficult time.

“God is GOOD, He is NEAR and He CARES,” Juli wrote alongside a photo of herself and her two sons with Wilson Finch and Denham.

“There truly is no darkness that His light can’t pierce through. Hold on tight and trust Him. I am convinced that there is absolutely nothing that can separate us from his love…the darkest night doesn’t have a chance against him. I know that full well. He is for you. You can trust him,” Juli added.

Juli announced her husband’s death on Instagram on Sept. 10 with a slideshow of photos that featured Jarrid smiling widely as he fished, hiked and spent time with his children.

One day later, she shared video of him playing with their son on the day he died, which Juli said was the last memory she had of him.

“Can’t sleep, so I’m watching this video over and over again,” she wrote. “I took this Monday evening around 7:30 p.m. at our son’s baseball practice. By 11:45 that night, my sweet husband was in the presence of Jesus.”

“I love you, Jarrid. I miss you beyond what my heart can stand. Thank you for loving our boys and I with the greatest passion and selflessness I’ve ever seen or felt in my entire life,” Juli continued.

View this post on Instagram Just wanted to say a huge thank you for each and every prayer, donation, visit, words of encouragement and well wishes. Y’all have completely scooped the boys and I right up and are helping us move forward on this new path God is mapping out for us. I can say this with complete confidence: God is GOOD, He is NEAR and He CARES. There truly is no darkness that His light can’t pierce through. Hold on tight and trust Him. I am convinced that there is absolutely nothing that can separate us from his love…the darkest night doesn’t have a chance against him. I know that full well. He is for you. You can trust him.

A post shared by Julianne Wilson

(@itsjuliwilson) on Sep 23, 2019 at 11:49am PDT

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View this post on Instagram My loving, giving, kind-hearted, encouraging, handsome, hilarious, give the shirt of his back husband went to be with Jesus late last night . No more pain, my jerry, no more struggle. You are made complete and you are finally free. Suicide and depression fed you the worst lies, but you knew the truth of Jesus and I know you’re by his side right this very second . I love you forever, Thomas jarrid Wilson, but I have to say that you being gone has completely ripped my heart out of my chest. You loved me and our boys relentlessly and I am forever grateful that i had YOU as a husband and a father to our boys . You are my forever and I will continue to let other people know of the hope in Jesus you found and spoke so boldly about . Suicide doesn’t get the last word. I won’t let it. You always said “Hope Gets the last word. Jesus gets the last word”. Your life’s work has lead thousands to the feet of Jesus and your boldness to tell other about your struggle with anxiety and depression has helped so many other people feel like they weren’t alone. YOU WERE an ANTHEM OF HOPE to everyone, baby, and I’ll do my best to continue your legacy of love until my last breath . I need you, jare, but you needed Jesus to hold you and I have to be okay with that. You are everything to me. Since the day we met. J & J. Love you more . These are photos of him in his happy place – fishing the day away . I’ll teach our boys all your tricks, babe. Promise. You are my #anthemofhope

A post shared by Julianne Wilson

(@itsjuliwilson) on Sep 10, 2019 at 2:02pm PDT

//www.instagram.com/embed.js

Jarrid had long been public about his struggles with depression and mental illness. In 2016, he founded Anthem of Hope, a Christian organization dedicated to “amplifying hope for those battling brokenness, depression, anxiety, self-harm, addiction and suicide,” its website states.

RELATED: Jarrid Wilson’s Widow Wishes Late Pastor a ‘Happy 1st Birthday in Heaven’ on Day He Would’ve Turned 31

One of his final tweets, sent the day he died, addressed his battles, but praised his faith for offering respite.

“Loving Jesus doesn’t always cure suicidal thoughts. Loving Jesus doesn’t always cure depression. Loving Jesus doesn’t always cure PTSD,” Jarrid wrote. “Loving Jesus doesn’t always cure anxiety. But that doesn’t mean Jesus doesn’t offer us companionship and comfort. He ALWAYS does that.”

If you or someone you know is considering suicide, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255), text “home” to the Crisis Text Line at 741-741 or go to suicidepreventionlifeline.org.

from PEOPLE.com https://ift.tt/2mIs93R

#Celebrity