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lottiebillions · 3 years

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Dean’s Holiday Destination Ratings: Shell Cottage - 2/10

My first ever one shot because I’m procrastinating writing my other fic. Can be found on AO3 .

Not that it was completely awful, per say, but Dean really would not recommend Shell Cottage as a holiday destination, if only because it contained at least 2 of his ex- girlfriend's older brothers and his ex- girlfriend’s ex- boyfriend. The fact that it was his only safe space in a war did push the rating up to a solid 2 though.

A Shell Cottage Dean perspective.

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Dean didn't hate Harry, as much as he felt he had the right too.

There was surely some unwritten rule about not dating your roommate's ex girlfriend, especially within a month or two of them breaking up. But he had seen the way Harry had looked at Ginny throughout the year and couldn’t really blame him. And Gin had looked a thousand times happier and more relaxed in those 3 weeks she’d been dating Harry. And really, if Harry really was the saviour who would end Dean’s need to be on the run just to protect his mum and sisters, then he couldn’t begrudge him a bit of happiness. Still, it didn’t make him feel any less awkward, sitting there in his ex- girlfriend’s brother’s house, with two of her brothers and her other ex- boyfriend, along with a woman who was definitely a Veela that he vaguely remembered from his fourth year.

Unfortunately, Harry didn’t look nearly as awkward to see him as he’d have thought (he remembered those few weeks last year and the way Harry had tried to avoid him as much as possible, as if to avoid hurting his feelings) but Harry didn’t look much like the boy he’d met on his first ever night at Hogwarts anymore. Quite frankly, he looked like shit. He supposed he didn’t look too much better, but Harry was truly unrecognisable as the boy who’d spend the last few weeks of their sixth year unable to stop beaming, and laughing, even when not in the presence of Ginny.

At the time of their break up, he had blamed Harry. Even though deep down he knew Ginny had been honest when she said she didn’t care that Harry seemed to have finally noticed her (Dean had a habit of pointing it out during all their arguments), it hadn’t helped when Ginny had lost her head at him and Seamus when they’d been imitating Harry’s hilarious fall in that quidditch match. That had been an almighty row, but it had given Dean his first insight into the parts of Ginny he could never really understand- and that had been half the problem with their relationship and maybe why he was so insecure about Harry’s feelings for her in the first place. Dean didn’t, couldn’t, know what had happened in her first year that led her to being so secretive around others, but Harry definitely did. Dean didn’t know what had happened in that Ministry battle after his OWLs that Ginny refused to talk about, but Harry definitely did. To him, Harry falling off his broom had been funny, once they knew no lasting harm had occurred but Ginny had not seen it that way and finally let loose some of the things he’d been aching to know.

“I don’t understand why you’re so mad, it was a joke!” Dean had shouted at her. What Ginny had bellowed back had been far more than he had expected.

“That’s the point- you don’t understand! You’ve never had to fight fucking Death Eaters! You’ve never been trapped, injured and then seen Harry chasing after Bellatrix Lestrange, alone, knowing Voldemort is going to be there soon! You’ve never had to just sit there, useless, knowing that the chance your friend is about to be murdered is too high, while you’re desperately trying to stop fucking brain tentacles from strangling your brother, and your best friends are unconscious! That’s why it’s not funny to joke about Harry falling! I see him falling and it’s like Voldemort’s there all over again; he could have died!”

That was the most he’d ever heard about the whole Ministry affair, despite having heard even Neville, of all people, whispering about it to Ron. There wasn’t much he could argue back with to that, except that it wasn’t his fault he didn’t know about that since no one ever included him in those conversations! How could he know just how many times Harry had come close to death? But that hadn’t been the right thing to say either, since Ginny had snapped that perhaps he should be grateful he could live his life stressing over nothing but schoolwork and what to have for dinner. Really, he should have seen their break up coming after that. She’d made it clear he didn’t know the important parts about her, and had made it even more clear that he never would. He couldn’t really blame her for that either, he supposed; there were certain things about him that he would never tell her, that only Seamus knew.

Still, none of that mattered now. Ted and Dirk had been killed, he’d been left with Griphook for company, then in what seemed like a whirlwind, had been captured by Snatchers, dragged to Malfoy Manor, along with, it turned out, Harry, Ron and Hermione, who no one had heard anything from in months. He’d heard Hermione’s screams as she was tortured, Ron and Harry’s screams as they heard Hermione, and suddenly Luna Lovegood was there and the man who sold him his wand seven years ago. And then if that wasn’t enough, a random house elf had appeared and taken him to a house on the beach, where a man who had the same hair as Ron had come running out with his wand directed at him. When he’d only just got his bearings, there was a crack and Ron was running into the house carrying an unconscious Hermione while Harry was crying over the house elf, who seemed to have been stabbed. His attention had been stolen away from all of that by a gorgeous blonde vision who had come over to him, to take the goblin from his hold and guide him into the house. He only managed to look away when he saw the wedding band and realised that Ginny’s brother had married the Veela from the Triwizard Tournament at some point in the last 3 years and he hadn’t even known. There had been no room for awkward feelings in those first few hours, but after that, as things had settled down and everyone but Ollivander and Griphook had gathered in the lounge to exchange stories, Dean hadn’t been able to help feeling hopelessly out of place, and had to wonder just how he had managed to find himself in this situation.

He had yet to exchange any words with Harry, as Harry had spent his days digging the grave for the house- elf he had found out was called Dobby (and he vaguely recalled that name from the D.A. meeting where they’d been caught out), and when he was done with the grave, he had been holed away with Ollivander and Griphook. Dean had gotten some basic details on their time on the run out of Ron, had found out how close they had been at one point but it was Harry he really wanted to talk to. He’d realised last year just how much there was about his roommate that he didn’t know, but while they were in this war together, fighting together, he needed to know exactly what was going on so he could fight for his own survival, and his family’s. Except then there had been that frantic knocking on the door, and Professor Lupin had come bursting in, shouting about his son. Dean had been beyond bewildered at why his teacher, who he hadn’t seen since his third year, had appeared in this little cottage by the sea in the middle of the war, and even more confused about why Harry, Ron and Hermione had looked so ecstatic to see him. Sure, Lupin had been their best defence teacher ever, and it was great to see him again, but he wouldn’t have said he was the person he would be happiest to see. And then he had been astonished even further when he heard Lupin ask Harry to be his son’s godfather - how did he not know that his roommate was that close to his former professor? Luna (who wasn’t even in the same house as Harry or Ginny and yet still seemed to know more than him!) had leant in to him and said how nice it was for Harry to have the chance to be the godfather his never was. Dean had been confused at that, he was under the impression that the only family Harry had left were his muggle relatives, until Luna had continued in her usual, airy tone that, “Yes, his godfather was Sirius Black, that’s why me and Ginny went to the Ministry in our 4th year. We had to go rescue him from You- Know- Who, but it turned out to be a trap and he died in front of Harry, He was really quite upset and grumpy about it, I’m surprised you didn't know. Of course, Harry is very private, and Ginny probably felt it wasn’t her place to tell you either, although she was close to Mr. Black as well and was very sad when he was lost.”

Dean couldn’t even begin to process that sentence. He was horrified that while he had been celebrating the end of his OWLs so obnoxiously, Harry had been grieving his fucking godfather and how had he not known that? There was also the fact that apparently Ginny had been close to this godfather, the one he somehow didn’t know existed, and yet not once had she even brought up the loss she must have felt. Then the familiarity of the name Sirius Black clicked into place and Dean really had to wonder if he had ever known Harry Potter at all because surely the fact that a mass murderer, who had gone so far as to sneak into their dorm with a knife, was Harry Potter’s godfather was something he thought he ought to have been aware of.

And it was with a kind of ache in his chest that Dean realised, no matter how angry he had been at that kiss between Harry and Ginny, no matter how much he wanted to blame Harry for the failings in his own relationship with Ginny, he couldn’t ever hate Harry Potter. He couldn’t hate that this boy even younger than him, who had suffered so horrendously in his life, who had lost too much to ever feel supported enough to share his upsets with more than a handful of people, had finally known happiness in those few summer weeks with Ginny Weasley. Maybe he could tell Harry that, let him know that Dean Thomas held no grudges against him, and perhaps in the revelry of Professor Lupin’s announcement, he could learn more about this godfather.

In the end, he never got the chance to talk to this Harry, the Harry he saw now that he understood he had never truly known him. Not until after that coin had burned hot in his pocket, and he had raced through the passageway behind Bill and Fleur Weasley, Luna by his side; not until after the walls had collapsed, and Harry had died, and then Harry had won, and the dust had settled, did Dean get to finally meet Harry Potter. Not the boy who lived, or the boy who stole his girlfriend, but Harry Potter, Dean’s roommate and fellow Gryffindor since day 1.

#Harry Potter #harry potter and the deathly hollows #hinny #dean thomas #Ginny Weasley #luna lovegood #shell cottage #introspection #fanfiction #one shot #missing moment

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sleepykittypaws · 3 years

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Celebrate the Olympic Spirit

Sure, the Olympics aren’t a holiday, per se, but the every-four-year, or two if you count both Summer and Winter editions separately, massive international sporting events sure seems like a reason to celebrate, especially given their recent, unprecedented delay. And what better way to get into the Games mood, than by watching a sports movie?

Here are my favorite motivating, inspirational, and aspirational tales of athletic derring do…

Favorite Sports Movies

The Cutting Edge (1992) - This figure skating romance was released around the 1992 Olympics, and actually name-checks that year's winter host city, Albertville, more than once. It's not good in the traditional sense of great storytelling or athletic veracity, but I loved it so very much I saw it three times in the theater as a teen. Watching it at some point during every Winter Games is a tradition for me so, yeah, I can’t help it, I love this silly sports movie/romance, which also features a bit of holiday feels.

Wimbledon (2004) - It's a rom-com. It's a sports movie. It's a rom-com sports movie that really should be better known. Notting Hill but set at tennis' best-known event. Paul Bettany and Kristen Dunst have surprisingly great chemistry, and there's more sports-related tension than you'd think.

Friday Night Lights (2004) - A football movie for people who don't really like football. a.k.a. 🙋‍♀️. The TV series it spawned is also brilliant (”Clear Eyes, Full Hearts,” indeed), and well worth a watch, but the original movie, starring Billy Bob Thornton, is, honestly, a masterpiece. Definitely Peter Berg's best work and the original book, written by Berg's cousin, Buzz Bissinger, is a great read.

Muriel's Wedding (1994) - You mean you forgot this Australian export, which made Toni Collette a star, was a sports movie? Yep, one of my all-time favorite movies, of any genre, this absolutely brilliant, ABBA-soaked comedy is not only a girls-night go-to, but also a stealth Olympic sport classic.

Remember the Titans (2000) - OK, football isn't in the Olympics, but it sure does make for a good sports movie setting. Even if this early 1970s-set story is most definitely Disney-fied, Denzel Washington, Will Patton, Ryan Gosling and a baby Hayden Panettiere really sell this sort-of true story.

Invictus (2009)-Rugby isn't an Olympic sport, or even one most Americans know much about, but this Matt Damon-led, Clint Eastwood-directed, based-on-a-true-story tale made me care about a sport I'd only tangentially knew even existed before watching.

Hoosiers (1986)-I grew up in Indiana so, by law, I have to include this basketball classic on any "best of" sports movie lists. Also, it actually is really very good.

Rudy (1993)-Ditto the above. But, again, it's hard not to root for Sean Astin (and Jon Favreau!) in this love letter to the Fighting Irish. Plus, there’s no better scavenger hunt task or TikTok challenge than going into a bar and convincing a patron to allow you to put them on your shoulders and march around chanting, 'Rudy, Rudy, Rudy.'

Miracle (2004) - Given how much more popular the Summer Olympics are, it's weird that the Winter Games seem to get all the good movies made about them, but this Kurt Russell-led true tale is another Disney sports movie classic.

McFarland, USA (2015) - Disney, and Kevin Costner, just really know how to make a sports movie, damn it! This movie made me care about cross country for which it, too, could have carried the title Miracle.

A League of Their Own (1992)-The best baseball movie ever. Yeah, I said what I said. Tom Hanks, Geena Davis, Lori Petty—even Madonna and Rosie O'Donnell are making it work. 1992 was a weirdly great year for sports movies.

Moneyball (2011) - A movie about baseball, and math, and yet it's also great, I swear. In addition to all of the above, it's also a stealth Christmas movie and maybe Chris Pratt's best non-Marvel, movie role.

Creed (2015) - This surprisingly effective Rocky reboot starring Michael B Jordan as Apollo Creed's illegitimate son has spawned its own movie series which, in many ways, exceeds the original Rocky franchise.

Rocky Balboa (2006) - Maybe it's because I was a toddler when the original Rocky came out, so only saw the ever-worse sequels as a kid, but this mid-aughts return to the character for Sylvester Stallone, as both writer and actor, is a triumph.

Eddie the Eagle (2016) - That Hugh Jackman features in as many movies (spoiler alert) on this list as Kevin Costner surprised me, too. This story of the English ski jumper who became infamous for being, well, less than golden, is one of those non-Olympic triumph stories that really works. If you're going to watch one underdog-at-the-Games movie, I definitely prefer this this to the more ubiquitous Cool Runnings.

Love & Basketball (2000) - Only because I'm an anglophile is this great, chemistry-filled Sanaa Lathan and Omar Epps college basketball romance not my favorite sports-movie-meets-rom-com.

I, Tonya (2017) - Margot Robbie and a nearly unrecognizable Sebastian Stan are perfectly cast in this sarcastic, highly stylized look at the Tonya Harding scandal.

Pride (2007) - Apparently I like this swimming movie, which I think almost no one saw, better than critics, but I found this 1970s-set, Terrence Howard-Bernie Mac-starring story of inner city kids excelling in the pool emotional and entertaining.

Field of Dreams (1989) - This Kevin Costner magical realism baseball classic is often goofy and imminently tease-worthy and yet…It also works. Maybe it's no surprise that someone who loves cheesy Christmas movies as much as I do would have a soft spot for Field of Dreams.

42 (2013) - Chadwick Boseman is absolutely fantastic as legend Jackie Robinson. One of those movies that's ostensibly about baseball, but is really about so much more, except not in a pretentious way.

Race (2016) - Before Jason Sudeikis was Ted Lasso, he was famed track coach Larry Synder in this Jesse Owens biopic that is far from perfect, but still important. Plus, I honestly don't think Stephan James got enough credit for his relatively nuanced portrayal of Owens.

Goon (2011) - This overlooked gem starring Sean William Scott as a semi-pro hockey player whose main skill is his ability to take, and dole out, a beating, is surprisingly great.

Real Steel (2011) - This is a robot-boxing movie starring Hugh Jackman that is basically Rocky meets Over the Top—and yet it's actually really good. Yeah, I was surprised, too.

Forget Paris (1995) - OK, so maybe Billy Crystal playing an NBA referee doesn't really make this a sports movie, but it does begin and end (spoiler alert) at real NBA games, and I will die on the hill that this rom-com co-starring Debra Winger is wildly under-rated.

Bend it like Beckham (2002) - This girl-power sports movie has some highly questionable romantic dynamics (the coach is their love interest???) but this Parminder Nagra-Keira Knightley movie is also a heckuva sports movie and an inspiring immigrant story.

Bonus Pick: The Apple TV+ series Ted Lasso is one of the best things I watched in 2020, and I'm sure of that, because I watched it twice since, just to be sure. Jason Sudekis is absolutely perfect as an American college football coach taking over a UK Premier League team. This sweet show with a heart of gold is smart, funny, and absolutely impossible not to love—even for a cynic such as myself.

More Sports Movies Worth Watching

For someone not very into sports, I am, apparently, into watching movies about sports, so while not a comprehensive listing of the entire, vast genre, here are a few more suggestions I personally think are worth watching.

The Miracle Season (2018) - This movie about high school volleyball champs whose star player dies suddenly stars Helen Hunt and is a lot better than you'd think based on its tiny budget and, honestly, fairly small story. Just missed making my Top 25.

The Way Back (2020) - This Ben Affleck as a drunken high school basketball coach movie is a lot better than expected. Released just as the pandemic kicked into high gear, it was overlooked last year, but worth seeking out.

Fighting with My Family (2019) - Does it count if it's a show, not a sport? Either way (but that's why this isn't in my Top 25), this stealth Christmas movie/love letter to the WWE is a lot better than it ever needed to be thanks to some really great performances from Florence Pugh, Lena Headey and directer Stephen Merchant. Even The Rock reins it in.

Warrior (2011) - You couldn't pay me to watch an actual UFC bout, but this Tom Hardy story of (literally) battling brothers is incredibly compelling and well done.

Win Win (2011) - This movie isn't really enough about wrestling, even though its ostensibly centered around the sport, to make it into my Top 25, but it's still really good, and Amy Ryan gives an outstanding performance.

Fever Pitch (2005) - Drew Barrymore and Jimmy Fallon star in this remake of a UK film whose ending they had to shift when the Red Sox unexpectedly won the World Series.

Fever Pitch (1997) - This Colin Firth-starring, Arsenal-centered original is much smaller, more realistic and arguably better than the big budget Barrymore-Fallon redux.

We are Marshall (2006) - A real-life sports tragedy made into a sports-movie tearjerker starring Matthew McConaughy. And my tears were very much jerked by the end.

Coach Carter (2005) - Samuel L Jackson plays real-life basketball coach Ken Carter and, because it's a Disney movie, doesn't use the F-word even once. Now that's a feat worthy of its own sports movie.

Invincible (2006) - Yes, it's Mark Wahlberg, and another based-on-a-true-story, Disney sports movie that hits all the cliches, but dang it, that works on me. It just does.

Glory Road (2006) - If you're sensing a theme with me and Disney sports movies…Well, you're not wrong. This look at the first all-Black starting lineup at the 1966 NCAA Final Four does, unfortunately, center white coach Don Haskins, played by Josh Lucas (though I always mis-remember it as Josh Charles), making the important story it tells less than what it should be, but it still mostly works.

Million Dollar Arm (2014) - Admittedly one of the lesser Disney sports movie entries, and another that centers a white guy in a film mostly about people of color (not a great look), this Jon Hamm movie about a scout seeking an Indian cricket star who can make it in the Major Leagues still mostly worked for me.

The Mighty Ducks (1992) - One of the few movies on this list aimed directly at kids, this beloved peewee hockey saga actually is cute, and mostly does hold up.

Cool Runnings (1993) - Kind of shocked this movie that is part White Savior-movie and part-wacky kids movie essentially making fun of a real group of athletes of color came out in 1993 and not 1973, but the earnest charm of John Candy and a general Disney gloss keep this from being totally unwatchable and mostly just mildly, rather than extremely, offensive. Not really recommending, but feels like it belongs on an Olympic movie list.

Nadia (1984) - This made-for-TV, mostly true biopic, starring Talia Balsam as Nadia Comaneci, was a Disney Channel staple in that network’s early days.

Munich (2005) - It's a movie with the Olympics very much at its heart—namely the 1972 Israeli athlete hostage tragedy—that isn't really about the Olympics at all, but this Steven Spielberg-directed movie about national revenge is compelling, if problematic if you think about it for too long.

American Anthem (1986) - Is this Mitch Gaylord-Mrs. Wayne Gretzky (a.k.a Janet Jones) starring movie good, realistic and/or well-written? No, no and none of the above. But did I still watch it 8,000 times as a kid on HBO? Yes. Yes, I did.

Men with Brooms (2002) - Once, on a business trip to Canada, my husband was stuck in a hotel that only got three channels, and one of them always seemed to be showing curling, which actually got him weirdly into this obscure sport. This movie wasn't quite as fun as I hoped, but it's still a mostly charming, if slight, Canadian classic.

Unbroken (2014) - The harrowing and incredible real-life story of Louis Zamperini deserved better than this Angelina Jolie-directed movie delivered, but it's still a serviceable version of a worthy tale.

Chariots of Fire (1981) - I remember being bored out of my mind by this movie trying to watch this movie on cable as a kid, but no denying that, if nothing else, the score is iconic and indelibly linked to sports-movie magic.

Without Limits (1998) - Jared Leto’s Prefontaine beat this one to the theaters, but this Billy Crudup-starring film is the better of the two movies about the life of running pioneer Steve Prefontaine. There’s also a 1995 documentary, Fire on the Track: The Steve Prefontaine Story.

Personal Best (1982) - Mariel Hemingway’s story of ambition at odds with love, is a sports and LGTBQ+ classic.

Olympic Dreams (2019) - The story of how this small, meandering movie was made during the 2018 Winter Games is, unfortunately, more interesting than the movie itself, but there is some charm in watching Nick Kroll as an Olympic dentist making his way through the real Village, while interacting with real athletes.

Foxcatcher (2015) - This excellently-acted story is more true crime than sports inspiration, but if you're seeking a look at the dark side of the Games—and don’t want to turn on a doc like Athlete A—this is very dark tale indeed.

Seabiscuit (2003) - Every great athlete deserves to have their story told.

Any Given Sunday (1999) - Oliver Stone and Al Pacino take on pro Football. 'Nuff said.

The Replacements (2000) - I mean, the movie isn't amazing, but Keanu Reeves is super charming and Gene Hackman is always worth a watch.

The Program (1993) - Another bit of a dark-side-of-football take, worth it if only for the fantastic cast: James Caan, Halle Berry, Omar Eps, Joey Lauren Adams.

Everbody’s All-American (1988) - Not a movie I particularly love, but this Dennis Quaid-Jessica Lange football story that spans decades has always stuck in my memory.

Bull Durham (1988) - Just let Kevin Costner play actual baseball already.

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daisylincs · 3 years

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It's time to see what I can do! To test the limits and break through// no right no wrong no rules for meee// I'm freeeeeeeeee (and i was glad lincoln died)

*silence*

*utter, shocked silence*

Well, Birdie, I only have one thing to say to you --

Why Lincoln Campbell Shouldn't Have Died: A Small Essay By Lily [Redacted]

#1. It’s Lazy. There was all this fuss about how “heart-breaking” Lincoln’s death was, and how it was the most shocking choice, and I’m just like... really? Was it? Because frustrating as it is to me, it’s true that Lincoln didn’t have any significant relationships on the show aside from his with Daisy, and he also didn’t have the time/the writers didn’t invest the time to make him a character the audience could become really close to.

And I don’t see how that’s a shocking choice at all? That’s just taking the easy way out of things. If they had really wanted to make a heart-breaking death, it would have been so much worse to choose literally anyone of the OG team.

Or, heaven forbid, not to make anyone die at all!! (Yes, I hate the Fallen Agent arc. Yes, that’s a conversation for another day.) But think about it: it would have been way more original, way more shocking, to have Lincoln not die, or find a super original/Fitzsimmons-esque way to get past the vision. It could’ve been way more shocking and ultimately satisfying if the whole team had worked together to avoid someone dying, and succeeded in avoiding that. It would have made excellent bonding.

And it wouldn’t have been lazy, because Lincoln staying alive would force him and Daisy to have some tough conversations, i.e. Hive and SHIELD and what’s next. It would also have meant an equal amount of tricky conversations with the rest of the team - especially surrounding the whole Hive debacle and methods used during it (*coughs in murder vests*). It would’ve actually been much harder than just having Lincoln die... and isn’t that what good storytelling is supposed to do? Make the harder choice for an ultimately far more satisfying resolution?

Because choosing Lincoln to die makes it feel like that was his only purpose on the show, and I can’t help but rage against that. I know that’s how a lot of people actually do see Lincoln, and it just makes me so furious, because that’s actually such a disservice to his character?? He was so much more than just Daisy’s doomed boyfriend, and he could have been even more. Which brings me to my next point -

#2. Wasted Opportunities. I’ll always believe that one of the biggest missed opportunities on the show was that we never got to see Lincoln properly bond with anyone on the team - it was like the writers started, but then decided he was going to die, and then went all, oh, RIP that. Which, honestly, is stupid - because they created this amazing character that had so much potential, and then decided to drop it just like that.

And I mean, dammit!! Aside from Daisy, Lincoln had prime opportunities to bond with at least five other characters on the team - May, Coulson, Jemma, Fitz, and Mack, and that’s not even starting on the other Secret Warriors.

He had a little bit of bonding with May when Lash/Andrew was still a thing - but then, whoops-a-daisy, unequivocally dropped. And like... Lincoln and May could’ve been such a good friendship?? Imagine May initially terrifying the living daylights out of Lincoln, but slowly seeing that he’s not actually that different to Daisy, and he makes her happy? And maybe inviting him to t’ai chi with her, to help control her powers? And him in turn helping give her some closure over Katya Belyakov/telling her that she really did make the only choice? They could’ve developed a mother/son bond just as beautiful as Daisy’s, if AoS had only tried.

Then there’s Coulson. Daisy’s (basically) dad. We got to see a little bit of this, especially in the 3x14-15 era, but I would have loved to see even more of Coulson not-so-subtly threatening Lincoln, but grudgingly coming to accept him as a good agent (and, though he’d never admit it, kinda liking the guy.) Ugh, it could have been so funny and GOOD!!

Fitz and Jemma, to do them in a package deal, could also have been a GREAT BroTP with Lincoln if they had only actually developed it. I would have loved to see a) FitzSimmons initially distrusting Lincoln and being like “if you hurt Daisy...” and then eventually growing to bond with him over science and, well, adoring Daisy, b) a Lincoln-and-Simmons-specific friendship starting after Maveth, for example, Jemma can’t really be around her friends because they keep pitying her and trying to help and she doesn’t want that, so here’s someone new who’s nice and can also distract her with a common interest, and finally c) Lincoln and Fitz bonding over, oh, Daisy, and being ridiculously in love. Just. C’mon. It could’ve been WONDERFUL - and, just think about it, the picture of a Fitzsimmons-and-Lincoln triple alliance out-science-ing Daisy. FAB.

And Mack!! Someone who’s basically Daisy’s older brother, and, I do believe, another one for the Don’t-Hurt-Daisy pile. But Mack’s also very just, and an excellent judge of character, plus he was literally listening in on their first kiss, lmfao. So I think he’d be that “ugh AGAIN you two stop *eye roll*” big brother, but secretly be very happy for them. (I would’ve LOVED to see it, ahhhh.)

Then, of course, the Secret Warriors!! If anyone would listen, I could R A G E for days about how we only had one episode with the Secret Warriors, and that only barely before it all blew apart. But what snippets we had in that one episode!! Lincoln comforting Joey when he gets stressed before a mission. That’s canon. Now imagine Lincoln learning Spanish for both him and Elena (and so the three of them can fuck with Daisy.) And him encouraging them to follow Spanish traditions, because he picked up a lot of “traditions are important” culture from Afterlife. And, of course, them all going to Pride together to support Joey...

My point is just, there is so much MORE AoS could have done with Lincoln’s character, but especially his bonds with the other main cast. Instead of highlighting his relationship with Daisy, I would’ve preferred a lot more focus on his bonds with the rest of the gang. Because, most simply put, he’s a nice guy and loves Daisy - but that’s not all he is, and also, that love for Daisy would mean he WOULD go out of his way to bond with her family. (Point made.)

#3. It Conflicts With The S5 Time Paradox. During the Fallen Agent arc, all we’re hearing about is how time is fixed, and a death is inevitable. And then in season 5, we have the same thing with the time loop... except, they manage to break it then. We’re literally told, “there are many different futures.” And, cool. But, uh... that’s exactly what you guys didn’t say in season 3!!

Because someone saw a death, a death had to happen. My question is just: if the loop could have been broken in s5, why couldn’t the death have been avoided in s3?? It wouldn’t even have been that hard to make it still fit with the vision - Daisy can quake the controls to destroy them, then Lincoln pulls her out of the quinjet, but she leaves the jacket behind. Hive dies, but no-one else - and the best part is, that even still fulfils the original vision, because someone did die. Hive. Click boom.

And if I can figure that out, then, come on, surely AoS could have done so much better!! It just... really frustrates me, hrrrg.

#4. It Becomes A Plot Point To Hurt Daisy. We all like to joke about how much AoS hurts Daisy, but... this is extreme?? Like?? She only just went through probably the biggest trauma of her life, being freaking possessed, and now you want to make her lose someone she loves too? Cruel.

The only real reason the Fallen Agent arc ever existed was, let’s be real, to force Daisy into that spiral of hurt and depression. And, like... she already had more than enough trauma just from Hive. Nobody would have blamed her for running away then - in fact, how very Daisy it would have been, leaving before she could hurt anyone else she loved.

And then, of course, we could have had Lincoln and the team working together to find her and bring her back, and, heyo, bonding!! It could also have been such a good point for Staticquake’s relationship, what with Lincoln helping Daisy recover after depression/withdrawal, because who better suited, and Daisy slowly forgiving herself and them becoming that much more of a deeply caring, solid ship.

So in short - though, 🙈🙈🙈, I suppose I should really say in long, because it would seem I am incapable of doing anything in a short fashion - I don't think anyone should be "glad" about Lincoln's death. If anything, we should all be FURIOUS, and super frustrated, because if he had only lived, there could have been so many excellent storylines, both bonding-wise and regarding THE ACTUAL PLOT (his powers could have been SO HELPFUL, just, argh). Lincoln Campbell should not have died, and I will stand by that till the day I die.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

#ask #you can say a lot of things to me but DON'T say you're glad Lincoln died #cause that's a really downright ARSEHOLE thing to do #and you will get lectured for it #at length #as shown here #and probably not talked to for a while #again as shown here #😤#**lily rants #staticquake #defending staticquake #queue'll figure it out together

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popculturebuffet · 4 years

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Nightmare Time Episode 1 Review: The Hatchetfield Ape-Man/Watcher World

I take a look at the first episode of Starkid’s new show Nightmare Time! Starkid, returns for a zoomcast, bringing back the casts of both Hatchefield plays for an anthology series of science fiction double feature picture shows! This week’s tales of terror:

The Hatchefield Ape-Man: A british heiress gets romanced by a shaved bigfoot with the help of everyone’s favorite kooky college professor. Forgotten fiances, murder and described nudity naturally insue.

Watcher World: Bill and Alice return as Bill drags his daughter to a kitschy theme park for a day of family fun, which Alice enjoys and is as respectful about as much as you’d expect. As you’d also expect given Bill’s general luck, things take a turn for the Shining real quick. Spoilers and full review under the cut.

Well this was a nice suprise. With the ongoing pandemic I genuinely did not think Starkid would be back anytime soon. Having just gotten back into them this years after several years of forgetting they existed via the Hatchetfield plays, I was pretty bummed, if understanding. So last week’s announcment of not only this series but a full scripted series from their sister production company the tin bros was a HUGE shot of happy I needed in this troubling times. Still need to watch spies are forver love the soundtrack nto important.

Point is the Lang Brothers and their merry band of actors found a way to continue on via format I didn’t realize existed outside of table reads but is a nice way to do things: The Zoomcast, basically a podcast done live on zoom, with the actors in plainclothes for the most part, with one person, in this case Nick Lang, reading out descriptions of what’s going on. Being a starkid production this also has musical director Matt Bohm playing accompaniment and pretaped if still via the actor’s own camera musical numbers. Overall while i’ts an understandably cheap production, only what costumes the actors have on hand and most props mimed, it WORKS, allowing for way more elaborate set pieces than the stage would allow and is anchored by Lang’s impeccable descriptions and the cast’s amazing as always acting really making the stories pop. So things worked on a technical level despite having the barest of bones to work with. But did it work on a story level? Well yes, but if I ended my reviews with just that i’d have less than the 3 or 4 fans I do have, so without further ado, it’s nightmare time! The Intro:

Now normally in my reviews I don’t talk about the intro because I come in mid way or because I just didn’t think to. This is an exception since

A) I should be doing that anyway or at least when I cover a show’s first episode since intro’s are sometimes one of the most memorable parts of a show

B) It’s a full musical number that’s been stuck in my head since the trailer for this series and has now set up an apartment there. C) This series is a musical, if not to the same degree as the two plays before it, so it’d be weird NOT to talk about it’s signature song.

So with that out of the way the intro.. is fucking impressive. Seriously taking disparate videos with probably as much as the directions “Sing this part of the song and be kind of creepy or alluring or whatever” and making it really flow? Good work, both to the starkids for bringing their a game to it as always and to Nick and Matt really did a good job editing this together, musically and visually to be an abolute jawdrop. And somehow finding utterly stunning stock image animations that none of us realized were stock footage but still fit the tone perfectly. Just great stuff. Some stray notes: Mariah is absolutely stunning in both voice and apperance in this, John Matheson’s bit as paul was great, and Jeff Blim of course got a great bit with his always astounding hair blowing in the breeze with him at full high pitch. Just an utterly great intro, and for Starkid’s first series in over a decade, and really ever but semantics, they really brought it. Good stuff. Onto the actual episode content.

The Hatchetfield Ape-Man: Lucy, a british heiress played by Angela Giarratana, was saved by the legendary “Hatchefield Ape-Man”.. who apparently has a hyphen like spider-men because while sasquatches can do that. Point is she’s come back every year in the hopes of reuniting with her savior but has so far failed. But as Lucy prepares to leave from this year’s failed expedition, an old friend finally gives her what she needs... old friend to us to her she’s just some grey haired lunatic who showed up out of the mist. Which while accurate, dosen’t quite quantify everyone’s favorite playwright/college professor/murderous psychopath/composer.

Yes at long last Professor Hidgens has returned! I honestly didn’t expect the anthology to bring in such a huge fan faviorite so soon. I mean I expected returning characters, mostly because the project allows old faviorites to come back for their own stories or for the stars of the musicals to get a chance at a much happier ending... there’s a lot of potetial there. That and let’s face it “Jane’s a Car” is a pretty dead giveaway it’s going to be about Tom’s dead wife and Tim’s dead mother coming back in horrible mash up of christine and my mother the car. Maybe. I could be wrong. I also doubt many of you know what my mother the car is and to that I say it’s an old sitcom i’m honestly suprised I know exists and know nothing about other than the title and it being about a son’s mom’s ghost possesing his car apparently. Well that and it was the basis for this.

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Point is, while I expected some returns, I wasn’t expecting one this large and this bombastic so soon, but BOY was it welcome. So getting back on track after all that, HIdgens seemingly takes Lucy to meet her ape man, who goes by the name Klonk, played by everyone’s faviorite sexy caveman Joey Richter. Also it’s adorable he and Lauren share a streaming screen. I know practicality and all that but their engagment is genuinely a sweet thing to hear about at a time when the world’s going down the toilet fast. Fun Fact: I pegged the Ape-Man was either going to be Jeff or Joey, leaning towards Jeff, though given my love of Joey I wasn’t disapointed with him, especially with the twist... but I was EXASTIC to learn the answer was basically “Both.. kinda?”. But yeah Lucy soon bonds with the ape man, with HIdgens encouraging her since it’s more than he’s gotten out of Klonk in 11 months of looking after the guy, and this way they can get him to learn enough to decide what he wants for himself.

So a few months, and some romantic bonding between woman and ape-man, pass but a wrench is thrown into Klonk’s wooing and attempt to tell lucy he loves her: Jonathan, Lucy’s just now mentioned fiance and royal dickhead played by Kurt Mega. And credit where it’s do whlie he clearly didn’t have to dress up, he did have a nice 50′s monster movie british person suit he put on. Lucy is now conlficted and what not even though Jonathan is kind of an asshole who just wants to drag her back home. And i’ts not like Lucy didn’t keep in touch: she sent him texts and probably called, so i’ts not like he didn’t know she was here. He’s also a hunter for extra dick points as if he needed them. Naturally when meeting his romantic rival he’s a dick.. but raises some valid questions: While Hidgens claim he shaved Konk due to lesions, there’s no mark of lesisons or the shaving. But his natural dickheadedness shines through and Jonathan talks about shooting Klonk before lucy takes his ring off and throws it and Jonathan goes after her. Annnnd yeah turns out the disposable dickhead fiance for once is RIGHT. In a twist I did not remotley see coming but damn if it wasn’t clever, Klonk.. is Ted from TGWDLM and the plan was to seduce lucy with this con, marry her and then bump her off. It’s a hell of a twist and cleverly hidden since Joey’s such a starkid mainstay, it’s not a huge suprise he was Klonk and thus easily hid the fact he was also Ted. It’s clever stuff and pivots the story nicely.

Ted is naturally a douchey as ever, going along with Hidgen’s plan to have him marry lucy then kill her and take her dough for themselves.. and unsuprisingly, so Hidgens can get Workin Boys off the ground. Granted there are easier ways to do this with the same scooby doo scheme: Just have HIdgens plan working boys casually, have Klonk really love it and being the sweetheart she is LUcy would fiance the thing just to make them both happy. I mean he can still marry her and ted can still have direct acess to her money if they want, it’s just an easier way that dosen’t shine supscion on the caveman who looks exactly like a local douchebag who everyone he’s met would testify against him. I mean would Paul and Bill REALLY be that suprised that Ted did this?

Exactly. Then again neither of our “heroes’ Here is very bright, and this scheme only works because Lucy is clearly very sweet, very naive, and very much wants a romantic evening with an ape man after all this time and effort searching, so she wants to believe him. So the fact the best they could come up with is something out of Scooby Doo is unsuprisng but still great. However things take a turn for the

Pretty quick as Hidgens takes disposable british douche fiance hunting.. then kills the guy after freely admiting he’s a fraud in what’s an INCREDIBLY chilling scene. Seriously it’s amazing how Robert takes a character as loveably redicilous, even his evil and murderous plan during TGWDLM was still hilariously rediclous, and makes him UTTERLY TERRIFYING. Even when dropping my fair lady refrences. Amazing stuff. So the next day, after Konk “asks” what an engagment is and what not, we then get Lucy wondering just WHERE jonathan is and we get the second biggest laugh of the night as Hidgens gives us the iconic line of “Oh he left... said something about you being crazy and going back to london and basically to go fuck yourself. “. Naturally Lucy has followup questions and goes to find out while Ted, also naturally, isn’t exactly pleased when he finds out his partner in crime did a murder on someone.

Ted may be a sleazy dickhead.. but even he sees maybe murdering a rich british person who just came here, went basically ONLY to this one location, and whose probably got many people who will misss him, one of whom is their primary target, is kinda dumb. Then again this is a plan that hinges on someone who could easily be identified, as he has or at least probably had an office job and three coworkers who know him, assuming a false identity to marry someone for their money. But again we’re dealing with a guy who thinks working boys is marketable to anyone who isn’t a starkid, and a moron who soon says he does his best thinking while erect. They only got this far because their target REALLY wants to fuck a sasquatch, is sweet but naive and well Ted IS still joey richter, and no longer has the porn stache so there you go. Ted decides to cut Hidgens out of things.. partly because you know, he killed a person, and partly because instead of killing Lucy, Ted realized he honeslty has a LOT to gain by simply marrying her and staying married. He gains a hot rich wife (his word’s not mine, but angie is genuinely beautiful so fair point), a mansion, and while Hidgens points out the obvious, he has to stay Konk.. that’s actually appealing to Ted as he feels better as Konk, not just because he impresses an attractive woman for doing basic stuff, but because he feels better as Konk. This is.. an intresting turn for Ted i genuinely like. It shows that Ted may, as much as he presents with bluster and ego, actually LIKE the kind of shithead he knows he is. I mean looking at his life he has two workmates who calling them friends is a bit of a stretch, and one who he’s having an affair with but seems detemrined to make her doomed marriage to an even bigger asshole work. He really dosen’t have much as ted so it’s easy to see why being Konk is better: He’s a better person as him who actually has someone who cares about him. Naturally Hidgens takes this as well as you’d expect and when Ted/Konk tries proposing he goes with the logical option for taking the fourtune for himself:

Yes really. Hidgens strips naked, and swings his arms around like an orangutan to try and convince Lucy he’s the real hatchetfield apeman. Sadly this dosen’t mean we get a shirtless robert manion as he needs to keep the turtleneck on for later, but the mental image.. I had to pause the video for a good minute to laugh over it. Just everything about it from it somehow being a dumber plan than his scheme this episode, to the orangutan swaying to just.. everything. It’s fucking genius. But Higdens has more than a mighty penis to compete with Ted.. he reveals ted’s phone and Ted ends up revealing himsef by telling Hidgens to go fuck himself. Naturally Lucy is distraught and tries to leave and the professor pulls out his shotgun to threaten her into financing his musical because of course it’s about workin boys. Lucy tries to run, Hidgens tries to shoot.. and ted , doing the first good thing in his entire life, takes the bullet. Lucy gets ted out of there then locks the door behind them, and we get the SCARIEST bit in this segment as Hidgens leans into the camera, simulating the peep hole of the vault door to the ape man inclosure and begs her to let him out. It’s some real Jack Nicholson in the Shining stuff and it’s utterly terrifying, but it’s also an amazing bit of acting. Nice job Rob. So ted bleeds out, as much as Lucy wants to save him he knows he’s not going to make it and prefers to die as Konk, finally happy with himself. And I just realized everyone at Paul’s job is horribly miserable. I mean good god, Paul himself has serious depression issues judging by “Let it Out”, Ted clearly hates himself, Charlotte is in a horrible marriage and Bill just got out of one and has a strained realtionship with his daughter we’ll get into more in a bit. I mean honestly, Mr. Davidson is the only one of them who really dosen’t need therapy.. he just needs to tell his wife he wants her to choke him while he jerks off. For as ungodly hilarious as that line is he’s probably the most well adjusted person there. Go figure.

Naturally being already insane, Hidgens breaks out, still naked mind, and chases after Lucy. Also noticable is apparently some people thought hidgens was manipulated by the blue shit hive mind in TGWDLM. Which.. no. I do love the guy dont’ get me wrong.. but it was very obvious both from the way his musical number was done compared to the rest of the ones in the musical, and his actions that was entirely him, and his playing the music was so he could join, especially since we don’t see the hive mind use any mind manupluation on anyone else. Regular manipulation sure as seen with you tied up my heart and not your seed, manipulating charoltte into freeing her asshole husband so he could infect her and torturing bill for funsies. Just something to get out of the way. Point is he was always crazy we just now have him chasing an innocentish woman with his dong hanging out to prove it. He eventually catches her as Lucy catches herself in one of his bear traps when she hits the woods, because he had those for some reason.. and he has a resonable way out: Just give her the 30,000 dollars he needs for his musical. Thing is she dosen’t have the money.. or hardly any. She spent all of it trying to find the ape man and was marrying jonathan for his money and him for her title. And while it is a bit skeezy, it’s very clear both were using each other and likely knew it, and Lucy still comes out the most moral of our cast here.. granted it’s not a big stretch as hidgens is criminally insane, ted’s a skeeze and Jonathan.. well he’s just a diiiiiiccckkkk. It’s not hard is what i’m saying.. much like hidgen’s dick flopping around in the rain. But yeah he dosen’t take it well, Lucy goes up a tree, which is apparently something Becky did once. But before Lucy can die at the hands of a naked thespian, the REAL Ape-Man shows up and tears Hidgen’s arms off, taking lucy in his own arms afterwords and revealing he remembers her. The two hit it off instantly, it turns out his name is chumby in an excellent gag as that was what Hidgens wanted his fake ape man to be named but Ted froze, and go off into the night together. Awww.. what if a naked ape man played by my boy jeff blim and a british person can’t work who can?

We then close out the segment with a cameo appearance by Jamie Lynn Beatty, who while not part of the cast for this double feature, does get a fun showtune about the ape man. Also fun fact that i found out here on tumblr: That costume is from something Jamie did in HIGH SCHOOL. As in well over a decade ago. Like holy shit, good for her. She looks great in it. But yeah it’s a fun song and a nice way to close it out. Final Thoughts on the Hatchetfield Ape-Man: This was a great way to start things off. This one was more in line with starkids pre-hatchetfield work, a goofy story with some hidden depth inside. And like the guy who didn’t like musicals it was utterly terrifying in spots so yeah good stuff ,utterly hilarous and a great way to bring back some old faviorites while giving us a neat new protaganist. Good stuff.

Watcher World:

Now from a mostly comedy with a horrifying ending to just.. pure unfiltered horror and depression! It’s Watcher World! Bill and Alice are back! And given I love Mariah Rose Faith and Corey Dorris, I was exastic to find this was what the second segment was about.. mostly because I had no idea Starkid had teasers for the episodes on their instagram, or I would’ve known Hidgens was coming. I wouldn’t of known he’d be stark naked for the last third of his story but still, pleasant surprise.

So Bill and Alice are spending the day at Watcher World, a run down amusement park on the edge of town. It’s Alice’s last weekend before College so Bill’s trying to reconnect with her by cramming a good old fashioned family vacation down her throat. Alice is less than enthused, both because she clearly resents her dad in general, and because Deb is throwing a huge rager on the same night. My honest interpretation of that is that Deb fully inteded for her girlfriend to come but Bill sprung this on Alice at the last minute and being pretty oblivious and hating Deb, either didn’t care about taking alice from one last night with her friends and girlfriend or didn’t generally think that through. I mean don’t get me wrong normally i’d side with a parent not wanting their daughter to attend a huge teen rager on their last weekend together.. but it’s also Alice’s last weekend in town for some time, and it’s likely a saturday.. so he has another day, and presumibly had friday before this and while things with his ex wife are tense, fighting for an extra day with her would be understandable and i’ts not like Alice, even if she hates Bill, would really fight him on getting an extra day in the town she didn’t want to leave.

But that’s what I really like about this one that it’s layered. While Alice is slightly more in the right, she’s still shutting her dad out, refusing to let him follow her on instagram (though he does agree with her keeping it private as he dosen’t want Ted perving on her, which tracks, or Ted’s brother doing it which.. wait what?), and being on her phone the whole time to very clearly spite him and rub how much she dosen’t want to be there in her dad’s face. She dosen’t WANT to be at watcher world but instead of trying to talk to her Dad just wants to complain and apparenlty has on all their vacations.. it’s easy to see why Bill is annoyed by his daughter at times and thinks he has to FORCE HER to have fun with him, because otherwise she’d gladly ignore him for their entire weekends together for Deb. She’s so determined to punish her dad for the divorce, that she refuses to see on some level he IS trying, and is just sad about her leaving, and possibly leaving him forever and alone with nothing else in his life but his buddy Paul, whose getting married next week so that’s probably not helping. On the other hand the reason I say Alice is more in the right is that well.. Bill’s a grown ass men. And while, speaking for himself, grown ass men don’t always make the right decisions, and not speaking for myself neither do fathers... Alice’s acting out is understandable coming from an 18 year old whose been through hell over the last year, having her parents divorce being forced to move, loosing her friends. Bill however just kind of uses her age and angst as an excuse to undermine and belittle her feelings. Because he doesn’t like deb for the very stupid reasons of she does pot, instead of assuring her that Deb wouldn’t cheat on Alice with Deb’s former crush Zigg, starkid’s first non binary character in a nice show that Nick Lang wasn’t just covering his ass when he said there’d be more representation in starkid, which in his defense I didn’t doubt him on but it’s still nice he did so at the earliest opportunity and very clearly plans to use Zigg if he can find a nonbinary actor for them.

But yeah instead of assuring his daughter, Bill is just like “well sometimes relationships don’t work out” which while true is clearly his self serving way of trying to get Alice to break up with someone he dosen’t like. INstead of supporting her in her dreams of writing plays, one of which was good enough to get her a scholarship, he tries to act like she has no plans for her future and get her to be a doctor for more security, even though having a secure job has done.. no one at his office including him favors. I mean again, the most stable and happy person at the office is the guy in charge, and even he can’t tell his wife he wants her to choke him out at night. He wants her to choke him, he wants her to choke him while he jerks off, he wants her to choookeeee himmm while heeeee jerrrkssss offfff.

While part of this seems to be that Deb plans to be a starving artist who can mooch off her parents in a pinch, Alice GENUINELY seems to have a full plan for her life. I do get his worrying about her future.. but she’s a smart kid. A bit of a brat but she knows what she wants clealry and clearly has talent. He’s just projecting his own fears on her. He also refuses to accept any responsibility in the divorce.. his hating his ex wife IS valid, as she took his daughter away, uprooted her life a year before graduation and spends gobs of money on impressive outings, the latter two seemingly just to spite him when honestly, it’d of made more sense for Alice to stay with Bill for the year before she graduates and been better for her. However, Bill still doesn’t take responsibly that he too is shoving fun down her throat to try and win her over, hates her girlfriend and refuses to treat her with any respect, and really DOSEN’T know Alice all that well. As we learn during their fun day she has anxiety, and he never knew about it. And the divorce isn’t really an excuse when he had years before that. It’s the real problem of their relationship: Bill feels ENTITLED to a good father daughter relationship, but isn’t working at it and blames his ex wife or Alice for it instead of himself. While Alice isn’t an innocent as i’ve made clear, putting up walls and not telling dad things, given bill ignores her when she DOES try to tell him about her life, it’s easy to see she’s just given up. If he won’t listen why bother. Which yeah i’ve found myself there with my own dad from time to time. Bill’s not a bad person, he genuinely loves Alice, as he says “to the moon and back”, but it’s very clear from this outing he still loves the little girl who loved him unconditionally and not the complicated and mopey adult sh’es become, and dosen’t WANT to adapt to that and fears once she leaves for college she’ll avoid him for good, which isn’t unfounded. It’s a good, complex rich dynamic. Naturally with.. all this I covered up front instead of sprinkling it throughout, the day doesn’t go great, with Alice utterly miserable most of the time, and ending up in a goofy novelty t-shirt due to a log ride. She also has an unsettling encounter with park mascot Blinky, our newest adorable abomination, who not only shows up the moment she does something bad on camera but also stares at her ass, which.. Paul you mind coming back for a second?

Thank you. They end up at the Watch Party, a cheesy kids show musical because Bill apparently equates this with his daughter loving musicals. I mean granted cheesy kids stage shows can be rad just listen to this.

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But I get Alice’s annoyance here. Thus we get the return of the sniggles, who apparently serve whatever eldrich deity is around this week and our first song of this segment, The Blinky Song. Which is catchy as hell as well as hilariously dark (”I’m so hungry”), and uses the stock footage well, as I could buy a cheap theme park ran by an eldtirch eye goblin using stock footage. But yeah it establishes Blinky as always watching and kinda fucked up. Also the sniggles are now clearly the smurgs with Angie’s now being named Sniglette, Jeff being papa Sniggle and James being Snigglotts. However Sniglette considers leaving with another song with a long string of words. Then, things get.. dark as the rest of the sniggles don’t want her to leave and try and mob her, and then Papa Sniggle accidently wings her with a mallet and apparenlty injures the actual performer, before everyone’s ushered out and the usher pretends nothing happened. Good mind screw horror stuff.

Alice and Bill then bicker a bit with my above point being made as Alice TRIES to get Bill to accept some respoinablity but he refuses and blames her mom. It’s now time for the Tear-Jerker, the reason they came. Bill’s buddy Paul says someone died. They also find three other people waiting in line and when one goes to the bathroom the other two start making out which.. yeah, dosen’t help Alice’s worry Deb’s going to cheat on her. So she takes the first single rider pass she can, with Bill worming his way in as to not let her get away. The two naturally end up fighting on the Tear-Jerker before it stops up high, and ends up stalled, with the gloriously returning Nerdy Kid played by Joey from Black Friday being as helpful as usual. Seriously bless them for bringing him back. Man in a Hurry also showed up again, bless him too. Alice picks this time to reveal her fear of heights and anxiety, and an approaching storm isn’t helping. So Bill.. steps up. He helps ease Alice down taking her phone for her, if loosing it due tot he rain and helping her stay calm. It’s a REALLY nice portrayal of an anxiety attack, with Mariah herself apparently having them and thus portraying it really well. As someone who has them myself it really hits home and Bills calm attempts to help her are really heartwarming, getting her to describe her musical for him and the two bonding. It’s genuinely sweet. But.. it can’t last, as Alice freaks out about her phone and Bill for once is in the right, as .. he was you know.. trying to save his daughter having a panic attack, and really stepped up given he was obnovious she had anxiety in the first place, and managed it well. He then gives the utterly heart stomping line “I love you to the moon and back, but sometime’s it’s really hard to like you. “

Just damn. So Alice runs off and both find their way to the fairway. Bill tries winning a doll for Alice, getting into a test of strength where he fails repedatly and is constantly mocked by the barker, played by James Tolbert who also played Blinky..

That should be Tolbert’s twitter handle. Anyway point is, Bill keeps trying even as he wracks up 400 dollars in credit card debt, for a 49.95 doll, before eventually the barker and hte crowd’s jeers get to be too much and he does smack it hard, thinking of all of his pent up rage towards alice.. just as the bell at the top takes the shape of alice’s head and explodes. Bill is naturally horrified by this by the barker assures he loves him.. and that he should totally hobble his daughter misery style to make her not leave him and use the mallet for it. Meanwhile Alice is at the shooting Gallery not wanting the blinky doll she wins, just blowing off steam when she runs into an old crone played by Lauren Lopez. But this Crone has her phone... which suspiciously has a ton of instagram photos of Deb and Zigg making out while sharing a toke. Granted Deb COULD’VE cheated, but given Alice is insecure, and her phone was given back to her by a witch working for an eye goblin.. yeah maybe just maybe Deb was loyal, and if she wasn’t wouldn’t be dumb enough to put it on instagram. But given Alice is already worked up it’s easy enough for her to beliive that her relationships in danger and if she gets there in time she can stop it and oh look her gun is now a real gun and can help her get the keys. So yeah it’s time for a creepy as hell Shining-esque showdown, but if both sides were possesed instead of one. It’s.. a CHILLING as hell scene, not helped by Alice wielding a gun again as both fight. I was gripped the entire time and don’t have much to say utter than HOLY SHIT THIS WAS AS TERRIFYING AS IT WAS RIVITING.

But a crowd gathers as the fight continues.. all with purple eyes which ave been seen on and off, watchers with a thousand eyes.. and with Blinky, now revealed NOT to be a costume probably, above them all. We also get one hell of a line. “This is an amusement park but not for YOUR amusement.”

So yeah I love this sequence.. and Blinky as a villain. While it’s vague if he and Blinky are the same entity.. I’m going with not. It’s not a stretch that like Cthulu, Wiggly has brothers in the black and white, with their own motives, methods and ability to get into our world. Unlike Wiggly.. Blinky’s already here and has no real ambition other than to find people to mentally tear apart and set loose on one another for his own amusement. He doesn’t have grand plans of burning the world.. he just wants to be entertained. It’s an interesting and chilling motive and I hope we see him again eventually. I also believe those at the park are trapped there bound after their own day there and trapped doing whatever Wiggly needs. Except maybe squeaky voiced teen. He probably just complains about cleaning up so much blood. But yeah Blinky is very happy as the fight escalates into the hall of mirrors and Alice looses her gun.. with Bill now poised to strike down his daughter as the mirror reflects the various workers at the park, all encouraging him to kill her... it’s utterly terrifying as Bill’s eyes take on a purple tint.. and we get a POWERFUL use of the score and the “why does it hurt to love you’ bit from TGWDLM.. as Bill sees himself and what he’s about to do, sees his daughter understandably having a panic attack.. and calms her, his eyes returning and the two reconciling. Of course Blinky isn’t happy about this “sappy bullshit” and brings htem into his domain, charging at them. But kinda missing that giving a pissed off teenager a rifle she knows how to use when you have a giant target for a face isn’t a good idea and she shoots him, with him bleeding a flood of purple goo that sends them out. While I doubt Winky’s dead, he is done with them. Our story concludes on a sweeet note as the two find their car, and they finally make as tep forward, Bill having seen almost too late how selfish and controlling he was being and accepting his daughter on her phone.. and Alice realizing her need to open up and after checking Instagram, likely finding out those photo’s weren’t real, she throws her phone in the back.. but not before accepting her dad’s request, letting him in. Sure the road ahead is rough.. but the two have made a good first step towards repairing things and loving one another again in a healthy manner. and all it took was bill nearly murdering her and allice shooting an eye goblin int he face and getting covered in his blood. Cue the credits, a beautiful song called “One Thousand Eyes” with Jeff Blim fucking nailing it. A great way to send off this bit. Final Thoughts: This was the best one of the two. While Ape Man is really good too, this one took the darker tone of black friday, but with a tighter narrative. By focusing on a smaller cast, the darker elements really played better and the conclusion felt more satisfying.. though it helped that BOTH of these tails ended without everyone dying, and while I doubt EVERY story will have a happy ending, it makes things more interesting knowing that the heroes can get a happy ending this time around instead of an apocalypse.

Overall Thoughts: This double feature was great, I’ll be getting a ticket to the next one if I can afford it, and if not i’ll see it presumably in December or next year when it comes on YouTube. Really excellent stuff. So this was a first for me but if you’d like to see more starkid stuff from me, let me know in the comments or my askbox, commission me to review one of the musicals via dm, and if you liked how I did this review follow this blog for weekly ducktales and loud house coverage, and amphibia coverage when that returns, among more fun reviews. And until next time.. don’t blink. Play us out Jeff.

youtube

I really hope this is the ending theme for the series.

#nightmare time #hatchetfield #the hatchetfield ape man #watcher world #ted #professor henry hidgens #Bill Woodward #Alice Woodward #Lucy Stockworth #halloween #halloween havoc #paul matthews #jeff blim #team starkid #starkid

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screechingnightchild · 4 years

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Info dumping time (has to do with hoo- specific book is the blood of olympus- and teen wolf)

Here we go.

So we all know the story of Prometheus, right- Prometheus created humans, and the gods breathed life into them. Humans were feeble and pathetic, and suffered in the cold of this world. Prometheus, feeling bad for his creation (because Titans had a stronger sense of humanity than the gods) taught them how to make fire!

Of course though, Zeus got mad and chained the poor fella to a rock high in the sky. Also gave him a pet eagle who spends its time ripping Prometheus stomach apart, but that, of course is not important.

Anywho, some Greek citizens then decided that they owed their lives more to Prometheus than to the gods of Olympus. They even decided to start worshipping the Titans instead of the gods. But of course, that wasn’t enough. Lycaon, son of Prometheus, didn’t just decide not to honor the gods, no, he challenged them. He invited Zeus to a banquet at his own home and served the King of Gods flesh of a human. Obviously, Zeus got mad and punished Lycaon and his children by turning them into wolves (quoted from tw)

Okay but here’s the part that is lesser know (According to tw). Lycaon and the rest of the wolves sought out a tribe called The Druids to help turn him back into human. Apparently the legend was that the ancient Druids knew how to shapeshift. They couldn’t turn Lycaon and his wolves back to human, but they did teach them how to shift back and forth between human and wolf form.

And so, the Druids became important advisers to the pack. Apparently Dr. Alan Deaton and his sister are Druids. (This is unimportant but I can’t help not mention this- Stiles reaction this this was “His sister’s my school adviser. How do I not know any of this? I always tell you guys important details.” To which Derek’s sister replies which “Does she give good advice?” and Stiles “Yes, she does.”)

Now, back to the wolves. So apparently, these wolves are the same wolves who are the sworn enemies to the hunters of Artemis. They are also the same wolves who hunted Reyna Arellano and Nico di Angelo on their journey to deliver the Athena Parthenos.

ALSO, wolves are seemingly hurt by silver, right? Argent is derived from the French word meaning silver, That whole family is just wholly against the existence of werewolves. Also, all weapons of the Hunters of Artemis are made from silver.

Basically, what I’m trying to say here is that it’s really cool how different werewolves can be depicted in different stories. In Teen Wolf they are the protagonists, the ones everyone is helping and rooting for. On the other hand, in The Blood of Olympus they are portrayed as villains, not even villain, just minor side-plot antagonists that are dealt with quickly. It’s just really interesting how different stories can vastly contrast the same concept.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk. I shall now take my leave.

#my post #info dumping #sorry this is a really long post haha #teen wolf #tw #rrverse #heroes of olympus #rick riordan #greek mythology #titans and gods #gods and titans #prometheus #werewolves #the legend of Lycaon #riordanverse #the blood of olympus #thank you for coming to this ted talk

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hellyeahheroes · 4 years

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Dylan is a Mary Sue

*look I know that the symbiote has a name and Venom is both it and Eddie. So I hope you don’t get annoyed when I refer to the symbiote as Venom because writing symbiote 100 times gets annoying and I hope you get what I mean when I call it that.

I’ve been trying to write this like nine times because I don’t want to bash this character. When I wrote the post about how I didn’t want Dylan Brock near Miles, I intentionally left out the reason why because I like the character. I hate the purpose and narrative mind behind him. And plus I don’t want to seem like I bash white cis het male characters when the characters I do trash on are bad because writers tend to make them intentionally bratty. I don’t like Spider-kid, Damian Wayne when written without consequence(he is white passing), Jason Todd,or Alpha. Like giving a character a shitty attitude doesn’t make him endearing especially on a male, I’m sorry. Characters like Tim Drake, Alex Power, and Dick Grayson work because there is something genuine in them that they want to be the good of the world.

Anyways, Dylan is fun to me because he has this precocious roguishness that isn’t malevolent nor out of place. His abuse is actually abuse that isn’t made to serve as his training or whatever nor does it warps his views. And his fandom in Eddie/Venom actually makes sense because he is a kid that was abandoned by his mother and left with an emotionally and physically abusive man who would cut him down. A dark passenger like Venom appeals to him because Venom is like the codifier of misguided anger for misguided teens.

But there is a reason why he is written that way: he is a Mary-Sue. Now I don’t care about the gender preconceptions of Mary Sue vs Gary Stu nor do I try to prescribe to reclaiming Mary Sue in some vain attempt at liberal feminism. Mary Sue is bad writing unless everyone gets to play(Mary Sues work in video games). Mary Sue is something writers in most mediums that tell stories should avoid if they want said character to succeed or evoke if you want said character to be disliked. And Dylan Brock is an example that doesn’t work and is largely getting away with it because he is cute.

1. The Immaculate Conception of Dylan Brock

This is when I knew some Sue shit was unleashed on Venom fans. I don’t have to google it but I can guess that Cates has a Catholic background. Whether he is one or raised one, it is apparent in whatever meaningful writing depth he provides outside of meaningless action. And it works because Eddie Brock, being anti-Peter Parker, is Catholic. Hence the brooding and self-loathing and abusive paternity and motifs of redemption and suffering and shit. But this was not only fucked up, but a little too on the nose.

Dylan wasn’t conceived naturally. In fact, Anne Weying was raped by the symbiote and impregnated with Eddie’s DNA. So Dylan is actually the child of the Venom and Eddie Brock. “But Anne is his mother.” Look, Cates didn’t actually consider Anne so I won’t either. Outside of the fact that it doesn’t make sense chronologically since Peter was like in his early 20s when he had the Symbiote and is at most 29 now, Anne is just a vehicle for Cates’ to necessitate the purity of Dylan Brock. Dylan is the pure child of Venom, born from the womb of Eddie’s first girlfriend/fiancé/wife/whatever and the first human woman to wear a symbiote, I think. I mean she didn’t even have sex with Eddie and boom, mini Eddie Brock is wrapped in cloth and left at the meager doorstep at the sacred house of Eddie. Praise Venom, y’all.

Jokes aside, I don’t know how Venom fans just didn’t go, “Iight, Imma head out” after reading this page. Just shows the conviction of fandom.

But I digress. Now let me regale you just how improbable this is which again only serves to ordain Dylan is the truest son of Venom in all the ways possible and also highlight the very unfortunate implications of this fuckery. Symbiotes bond is how they reproduce. When they reproduce with their host, the end result up to this point has always been a symbiote. For Mass Effect fans, it’s the Asari thing except with goo. Before you ask, yes Symbiotes sexually satisfy their hosts unlike the majority of human men*cough*. Point is that Dylan should be biologically impossible but somehow he is a human symbiote hybrid. And the unfortunate implications of such of incident shouldn’t go unnoticed either. Venom and Eddie have several children and prior to this, all of them have been symbiote. Cletus and Red also have children too and again symbiote. In fact, all symbiote bonds produce symbiotes as far as male hosts are concerned...except for the brief bond of Ann Weying and Venom Symbiote. Gee I wonder why she got a different result? Well there are a few female hosts and surprising none of them have spawned a symbiote child. So logically it can be assumed that woman + symbiote = forced impregnation of symbiote. Well this shit got dark. The symbiotes just became the Jeffrey Epstein alien species. But since Cates swears up and down that is not what is happening, he is going for the God/Virgin Mary angle for some reason.

It’s almost like he is the descendent of the Symbiote God. If only there was such a thing.

Welllllll shit.

2. Dylan is incorruptible and all-powerful without knowing why or how

Okay, backstory time because I never properly explained Knull, another of Cates shoddy creations. Knull is the galactic god emperor of the Symbiotes who created the Symbiotes as a weapon to rule the galaxy. Aside of the fact that his existence retconned the previous backstories of the symbiote, he has the ability to domesticate the symbiotes and make them subservient to him.

Guess who else has this ability.

Dylan is symbiote Jesus, hallelujah. This explains the Church of Carnage/Knull/Grendel/who gives a shit. He is the true son of Abraham and Carnage is the false prophet of Venom. It’s what Christianity considers Islam to be or some shit and both Dylan and Sleeper are about to nail the 95 thesis on the door of Carnage in the form of the greatest mixtape you ever heard.

Look, I too am astounded of the sentences my mind comes up with when I so thoroughly hate a writing like I hate Donnie Cates’ Venom.

Dylan goes beyond being just a special snowflake that was forcefully and crudely implemented. He is the pre-ordained established opposite of the nature of corruption that Knull created the symbiotes for. To Knull, the symbiotes are his thralls. To Dylan, the symbiotes are his pets. To Knull, the symbiotes are a tool to become omnipresent. To Dylan, the symbiotes are individuals who need to be liberated if good. To Knull, there is no such thing as a good symbiote. To Dylan, there is and it’s Venom or sleeper or what have you. Dylan is the forgotten son and the New Testament for symbiote kind.

And he doesn’t know yet.

Okay, this is a common Mary Sue trait to absolve culpability of a Mary Sue character. It’s to say that they are not to blame for being special. It’s like the writing form of don’t hate me because I’m beautiful except somehow more obnoxious. Dylan’s obliviousness to this what is essentially an entire alien species religious revelation is like trivialized because their prophet is a 12 year old. It’s like waiting for a savior only to be told he is a carpenter.

Imma let that last one just marinate for a minute.

Look, Cates did a lot of rewriting and retconning just for his self-insert to become his favorite series and hero to be the second coming. He created this lore for Venom only for his avatar to be the prophet. The intentionality of his obliviousness to how important this is just glazed over the fact like it isn’t a big deal. Just like Cates glazed over the whole rape and forced impregnation thing because somehow that doesn’t warrant a follow up.

3. Dylan Brock is fanboy Cates

Okay before I begin, self-inserts aren’t bad nor are they inherently Mary-Sues. Kong from Ultimate Spider-Man is Bendis’ self-insert. Boomerang from Amazing Spider-Man was rewritten to be Spencer’s self-insert. JJJ is a self insert for Stan fucking Lee like...self-inserts are great. To the degree that they aren’t unnatural to the narrative or overbearing.

Dylan Brock’s previously stated precociousness comes from the idea that Donnie is writing the inner teenager that he was as a kid reading Maximum Carnage for the first time. And I get it, man, live your truth and all. Like yeah, force and subjugate other fans of this series to your childlike inquiries like how Symbiotes poop, I mean it’s not like their fandom is important or anything.

First Dylan is a fanboy of Venom just like he is. And while that makes sense meta-wise, in-narrative it doesn’t because...okay Venom fans are about to tear me apart for this but it’s like someone being a fan of Ted Bundy. His heroics usually came with a body count is all I’m saying and I doubt it would be praised but then again Wolverine has an in-universe fandom so what do I know. Back on topic, Dylan’s fandom and praise of Venom to get him out of the dark place that is his father’s abusive household.

And this is why it’s so hard to hate him because of all the fucked up shit Cates put in this book, Dylan feels like the one character that is genuine and pure in that innocent kind of way. No one hates Dylan and how could you? We all get it. And it helps that Dylan has a completely different voice than every other Cates has written from every other character. Like I can hear the excitement in his voice when he pesters his hero for questions and I’m reading his words. The idolization is pure when he meets Normie, the god son of Spider-Man, and it creates this dynamic of Spider-Man fans vs Venom fans. It’s fun in a way.

But it’s just that. When Cates writes Eddie, he is not only writing to retell Cates own personal past demons but also in the lens of how he viewed Eddie as this tortured soul who just got the wrong interview from a copycat that costs his job. The second banana of a greater and more prominent hero. Born to the wrong person. That none of what happened to Eddie was his fault or really his doing even when he was at his worst wearing Venom, it was Venom who tempted him.

Dylan is that pre-teen who sees the best in everything Venom is: The dark avenger of the abused and neglected. And I don’t want to speculate whether Cates fits the category or not because that ain’t my business, I can see why Dylan would be a compelling self-insert if it weren’t compounded on top of Cates’ forceful insertion into Venom and subsequently Spider-Man lore.

Like you remember Carly Cooper? Dylan is exactly like Carly Cooper. And this is why I like to think of Cates’ run as the equivalent of One More Day. Cates’ retconned a crucial element of Venom to make Dylan necessary to the core of Venom. He retconned the one thing that made Venom and subsequently Eddie go beyond just being a twisted revenge story.

The erasure of Mary Brock, Eddie’s sister and Eddie’s cancer. One is the motivation and the sole good Eddie has ever known. It’s his motivation to move past is mistakes. And Cates then turns the one bond in the series into something...horrific.

Okay, Dylan replaced his sister and Venom itself. His being becomes Eddie’s motivation to be a better person rather the struggle to see himself as more than his upbringing. It’s like reading Spider-Man and finding out Uncle Ben was on crack. Uncle Ben didn’t die. He faked his death. Yeah, that is what this was. So he could evade taxes or some shit. This is exonerated Eddie in the worst way and turned him into a manipulated pawn of Venom. Let’s completely retcon the marriage of MJ and PeterVenom and Eddie, Cates pitches to editorial.

Dylan becomes more than just some kid who idolizes Eddie. He becomes the sole motivation of Eddie himself now. Eddie’s past is now completely erased or made irrelevant to uplift Dylan’s importance to Eddie. It’s too a point that the Symbiote kids of Venom aren’t Eddie’s kids anymore. It’s like Eddie was in an interracial relationship and the one non-brown baby with blue eyes is his one true kid and others are mulatto chocolate eugenic mishaps or some shit that his ass don’t want to deal with anymore. I mean disowning Carnage I understand but come on?

Cates’ self insert changed the entire nature of the series. And for what purpose? To give Venom a legacy just as Peter has one. And that is the problem with Dylan.

@ubernegro

#dylan brock #venom #sleeper #symbiote #eddie brock #long post #donny cates #cates run

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sebthesnipe · 4 years

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The Dreamer by Whatwashernameagain an Analysis? Chapter 2! Part 2

All portions:

Chapter 1: Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4

Chapter 2: Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4

The Dreamer

@whatwashernameagain

As always, Spoilers under cut.

To jump right in we start off with Roman’s father. Eva writes: “Astonishingly, his father hadn’t scoffed at him as he’d passionately pleaded his case. The paper in his hands had been filled with speculations about the black clad silhouette barely caught on camera. The elderly republicans rightfully arguing against him had been banished to page eight, pushed aside by the intriguing puzzle the anonymous terrorist presented” (Whatwashernameagain).

We get a bit of more insight into Roman’s father, though he’s not nearly as flushed out as Logan or Roman, with good reason. He is, after all, a secondary character. First off, as with many works, the things that aren’t said are just as important as what is. Eva mentions that the front page focus’ on the Utilitarianist, with the Republicans are pushed to page eight. We know that Roman’s father is apart of the Republican party and as such this means that he is pushed aside by the public in favor of the Utilitarianist. And the fact that she mentions the paper at all, being held in Roman’s father’s hands shows that he is invested in the issue. A man who works in politics obviously would be quite upset when such an upstart outshines him in the media especially if he is in the middle of a campaign. So, the mention of the paper in general brings attention to the man’s ambitious nature and self-centered nature.

As for Roman, well, we gain a bit of hope for the man when the work mentions that his father didn’t turn up his nose at the other man’s passionate pleading. We know that at this point Roman’s only aspiration in life is to gain his father’s approval. Despite the fact that we consider this venture misguided, the reader is invested in Roman’s well being and happiness after Chapter 1 so, we can’t help but hope that he has achieved his goal. Because we love him.

“He’d looked at Roman as if he’d never truly seen him before. As if he was something of value. For the first time in years, the young man had his father’s full attention. It was like being in the spotlight he’d secretly dreamed of – bright and warm and exhilarating” (Whatwashernameagain). Poor, poor Roman… My baby… This once again, paints more of a picture of Roman, than his father. This is Roman’s POV after all. We see Roman’s father looking at him as if it were for the first time. Which implies that the attention Roman has always yearned for was never there in the first place. Sure, this had been implied before, but it hasn’t been truly pointed out until now. Roman’s father has done nothing but neglect and ignore him. Its no wonder Roman is starved for attention and understand; it’s no wonder that he is so naïve. His father has barely acknowledged his existence his entire life because Roman has never been particularly useful. I mentioned during my analysis of Chapter 1, Logan’s analogy of a ‘thorn in his shoe’ when referring to Roman but that analogy would not fit for Roman’s father… A thorn would give Roman far too much of an actual presence. No, Roman to his father is far less than a thorn. He is gravel on a warn path. He is meant to be stepped on in favor of pursuing his ambitions, only acknowledged when it makes enough noise to catch the attention of the person walking. His only purpose is to smooth out the road to success and nothing more.

This also brings attention to Logan, by simple contrast. Logan is supposed to be the cold unemotional villain of this story, but he doesn’t pull it off… at least not really. When Roman eventually grows close to the logical man, he no doubt sees a bit of his father in Logan. They are both distanced and calculating, they hold their heads up high and seem to criticize the world, they both are ambitious and driven. This comparison is no doubt attractive to Roman. He has wanted his father’s attention and affection his entire life, has seen him as a great man. When he meets Logan and truly begins to understand that Logan has a good heart deep down, I believe he begins to truly compare the two whether consciously or not. The difference is that Logan truly /is/ good at heart. We saw it at differing points throughout Chapter 1; his relief when Roman saves that girl, his compassion for Roman, himself, the fact that he had saved him from his captor before. Roman has seen first hand that Logan truly does care but never his father. All he has to ‘prove’ his father’s good heart is the man’s words which honestly doesn’t amount to much.

This also brings me back to something I mentioned in Chapter 1 as well: We, as humans, define things through comparison, without bad we’d never understand what good is and vice versa. We don’t know what Red is without comparing it to other colors. Roman’s father is bad, plain and simple, but he does not know this… not yet anyways. Its not until he sees the parallel between his father and Logan that he begins to see what could be… What a man with his father’s demeanor who actually cares can look like. Logan provides him with the hope he has always looked for in his father, the acknowledgment. Sure, Logan acts as if Roman is beneath him, which Roman is use to, but at the same time he provides Roman with the attention he has been starved for, attention from a man Roman respects. Despite Logan’s claims of seeing Roman as beneath him, Logan has treated him as an equal, going toe to toe with him, arguing with him… Roman has never had this; we see proof of that by his lack of self esteem and the way he talks about how he asks stupid questions or makes ignorant suggestions. No one has ever treated him as valued or taken him, as a person, into consideration… until Logan. Logan is his hope. Even the public, after he becomes The Dreamer, doesn’t see him as person but as celebrity. He is valued, yes, but not as himself, only as the persona he is taught to be; granted The Dreamer is apart of him, a big part, but he is more than just the name.

This also might be why Roman is so focused on the individual rather than saving the masses. Being accepted and appreciated by a large group of people feels less personal than the acceptance and love of an individual. If I had the choice to be loved by millions or loved by a few I would probably choose the few, though that is just me. My point is, by focusing on the individual Roman provides them something he never had; attention, affection, acceptance, value, and protection. The next line helps underline what I mean: “It was like being in the spotlight he’d secretly dreamed of—bright and warm and exhilarating” (Whatwashernameagain).

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

“He felt worth something for the first time as his father rose and walked around him, taking in his tall frame, filling in well from the workouts he tried to burn frustrated energy with, the sparkling green eyes, the luscious curls, the strong cheekbones and attractive features. There was no denying that Roman was handsome. A figure to be displayed, as long as he kept his mouth shut” (Whatwashernameagain).

Okay… So… I’m really conflicted with the rest of this paragraph. Its just… I have so many feelings. First off, The imagery here is beautiful: Roman’s father is circling him, examining him as if he were some show dog in a competition and in a way he is. Roman’s father only has time for things he considers useful and up until now, Roman was not useful. However, as a show dog he could be quite handy, and his father is realizing this now. The cold calculating gaze Eva describes as he examines his son provides that image. It is skillfully done which is why I am conflicted. On one hand, the talent she shows her makes me love the passage; on the other it also makes me hate Roman’s father even more. Roman is not some show pony to be placed on display and tossed aside once he completed his performance… We are meant to dislike Roman’s father and she has accomplished that goal.

The story moves on describing Logan’s movements; stating that they grew more frequent, showing the media’s support for The Utilitarianist. We’re reminded at a certain point that we are still in Roman’s POV, however, with “The liberal media was lapping up [Logan’s] speeches, stilted and uncreative as they may be” (Whatwashernameagain). This provides the reader with the reminder that at this point Roman still wasn’t very fond of the man. It also brings back the fact that Roman is a bit over the top; calling Logan’s speeches ‘stilted and uncreative’. This line also provides a contrast between the villain and hero. In fact, this line is a direct parallel to Logan’s words about the Hero’s speeches: “The worst, however, were the speeches. He knew very well how much the media loved him with his uniform accentuating his broad shoulders and his lush, caramel hair, his blinding smile and perfect, tan skin. He was a nuisance, is what he was trying to say” (Whatwashernameagain).

The direct comparison is nice and so subtly done (though I’m not sure she meant to do it… idk) that it is beautifully executed. Once again, the reader’s attention is pulled to the stark contrast between the two men. Logan’s thoughts on The Dreamer’s speeches are obviously molded towards glamor and aesthetics… which is in part The Dreamer’s purpose. Its obvious that Logan views the man as air headed and just a pretty face which is what Roman’s father is, in fact, using him as. While Roman views Logan’s speeches as cold and uncreative, lacking the glamor Logan obviously has a distaste for.

This also provides a glimpse at the contrasting tones between the POVs which I have continuously praised Eva’s talents on. Logan’s thoughts are far more aggressive in tone, almost angry, which really suits the Utilitarianist’s persona. Someone who is willing to do just terrible things to right the world no doubt has quite a lot of anger residing in them. While, Roman’s view points are more gentle and needy. He needs affirmation, affection, acceptance. His criticism on the villain’s speeches are not very harsh in the least, which is not surprising coming from such a kind soul, but at the same time, they are as harsh as Roman gets really. In essences he is calling Logan’s speeches ‘tacky’ which is a huge insult to a man like Roman even if they seem gentle to the rest of use. The aggression from Logan and the gentle insults from Roman make the two such perfect opposites that it is both endearing and heartwarming. I love it.

We also see in the next few lines the implied influence Roman’s father has on him. Logan’s destructive agenda threatening to ‘destroy the moral of the good society and plunge them all into anarchy’ and the people of ‘the greatest country in the world’ showing their resolve. As children we are taught to believe what our parents want us to believe and that is obvious the case for Roman as well. He believes these things but for those of us living in the U.S. we recognize the same regurgitated words that the Republican party uses every year. Roman is no doubt so driven to please his father that he doesn’t stop to question if these are his beliefs or his father’s. At least… not yet…

Something that Roman says does catch my eye; he states that “A revolution was on its way” (Whatwashernameagain). Could this be another foreshadowing? I would say so. We know that something happened at the end of Chapter 1 to injure Roman in such a horrible way and the fact that he said that he didn’t know where else to go implies that he didn’t trust his father. A revolution is surely coming but not in the way the Roman thinks here. He has his own revolution he is going to have to deal with and the country isn’t going to be the one to help him.

The story moves on describing how Roman’s father had created a community of wealthy ‘caring’ American patriots ready to sacrifice everything for their ‘traditional values’. Once again, this feeds into Roman’s delusions about his father and his father’s values. It is obvious that his naivety is still securely in place if he sees these things as brave or heroic. He talks about experiments on soldiers that are meant to fight for America’s future… How could that be alright? But Roman is blinded by his love for his father and his need to be valued to he steps up to the plate and volunteers.

The next para however, pulls us back to the optimistic Roman we know and love and the presence of thought that will no doubt be the cause of his revolution and the very thing that is used against him to make him the tool his father needs:

“They needed someone his fellow citizens could look up to. Someone who would stand up to the terror caused in these insecure times. Someone kind and strong and good to give them hope for a better future. A future Roman believed in with all his heart. Humans were amazing creatures! The feats they had accomplished awed the young man and deep down, he believed they could solve their problems together. He trusted their combined creativity, love and unity to save this planet in the end” (Whatwashernameagain).

This is the image Roman wants to be, the image he believes he can be; the person he does not see himself as right now but yearns to make of himself even if it is just a persona. The fact is, however, he is already this person he just needs to be strong enough to embrace it, something he is currently incapable of due to his obsession with his father’s approval. I don’t know about the rest of you but I learned a while ago that every individual has the power to change the world and it is not as hard as they would originally think. It takes a kind word or action to inspire the next and the more you provide the world the more it gives. The catch is… More often than not… you’ll never see the plant that your seeds grow into. All you can do is plant the seeds and how that what ever comes out of them is good. A single word can save a person’s life. A single action can change a perspective. We as people just have to be strong enough to face our own demons and decide to say that word or do that thing. /That/ is not easy. /That/ might be more difficult than you can believe but once you’ve decided to try then every step afterwards becomes easier. The only thing that holds us back from being the change is ourselves. People can make a thousand excuses as to why they don’t do something and typically it is blaming someone or something else but, in the end, … The only power someone else has over you is the power you allow them to have. Someone hating me isn’t going to affect me unless I allow it to. My car breaking down isn’t going to ruin my day unless I allow it… I am not saying that this mentality is easy its not. It’s the hardest thing in the world to force yourself out of your own way… but after you do it once… twice… Three times… Eventually it becomes second nature and there is nothing stopping you from becoming the person you’ve always wanted; becoming the change; becoming the light.

**Note: This is not belittling Mental Illness or any other issues. This is a very simplistic version of this train of thought.

Roman in this case is the only thing standing between himself and the person he wants to be is himself and his need for acceptance from his father. It is sad to see but it is obvious that his heart is where it needs to be, he just has to get over the hurtle, the need for that acceptance. The need is reinforced as Roman talks about his father’s complaints about ‘hostile foreign countries’, ‘leftist propaganda and lying media dividing them’ … Once again, it is something a lot of Americans here from the political parties and honestly I’m impressed by how accurately Eva captures this when considering that she does not live in America.

In the same para we turn back to Roman’s views; Roman wanted to unite the world, to give them something to believe in, to fend off fear, to sew trust rather than fear. It provides a beautiful contrast between the man Roman is and his father, despite the belief’s Roman holds. We also see the uncharacteristic self confidence that he don’t see in regular Roman: “Peace was a possibility if they only believed. And he knew he could give them this belief” (Whatwashernameagain). Once again, we get brief snippets of The Dreamer that we know is inside Roman but haven’t seen much of in the Chapter as of yet.

Now we move onto the rough part of Roman’s past. The experiments begin. “For months, he subjected himself to test, procedures and surgery with no complaints. He saw no daylight for almost half a year as his father’s and his partner’s scientists, the people who worked for the Conglomerate, did their best to make him worth putting their faith in” (Whatwashernameagain). We see Roman’s astonishing resolve as he puts himself through these things ‘with no complains’. We see his lack of self esteem as he describes the scientists as ‘doing their best to make him /worth/ putting their faith in’. It really makes me want to scream at him but… Lets move on. This also gives another insight into just how horrible a father Roman’s dad really is. What kind of father would put his son through such torture? The kind that is just using him for his own gain and truly doesn’t give a damn. This cements that Roman is nothing but a tool to the man. Roman, however, in his sweet naivety views the process as ‘glorious’ despite his agony because it is something, he believes will gain him his father’s praise… his pride… his acceptance… Poor, poor naïve Roman.

My anger jumps once more with the next line: “As he saw him again, months after being sent to the research facility” (Whatwashernameagain). No! Fuck that! This bastard just sent his son off to be tortured and experimented on and didn’t even drop by to check on him. I get that you love him Roman but you’re an idiot and I love you for it. As soon as he was able to walk without appearing to be in pain they began to groom him for the media, implying once more that image is everything and to Roman’s father, it is.

Her is a young man that would do anything to gain his father’s approval, gain the world’s trust. He’s willing to be tortured in order to make the world a better place for everyone. This is a true hero. Even before The Dreamer is created Roman is an inspiration and no doubt when Logan finds out about all this Roman is going to have one hell of a time convincing him not to slaughter his father and everyone else involved. Even after all of this torture Roman is eager to do his father’s bidding and go after Logan, and the ‘psychological damage’ he as inflicting on Roman’s precious country. It is noble and says quite a lot about Roman’s perseverance and care. Honestly it reminds me a lot of Patton. Both of these sides are capable of so much love… Patton is just more open about it while Roman expresses it in a more prideful manner.

“Roman humbly accepted the choices of those smarter than him. He worked hard on his enunciation, his posture, his all-American accent, so they would deem him ready faster. The terrorist was growing more and more dangerous every day. His acts were growing more sophisticated, his public appearances increased from flashes of a tall, slender form caught by cameras, to manifestos read in a passionate, though clearly untrained voice over the internet. And now, he’d killed for the first time” (Whatwashernameagain).

Once again we are faced with Roman’s lack of self confidence though I’m just going to touch on that and move on because the comparison between our favorite hero and villain is back again. Roman is filling out his persona as best he can, working on his accent and posture, getting himself ready for the big leagues. Logan is doing the same, though in a different way. The villain doesn’t put much weight into public appearances, so these things do no matter to him. No, he’s moving up in the world by improving his strategies and going bigger and bigger. The pinnacle of his work being his first kill while Roman’s is being camera ready. It just goes to emphasis the difference between the two once more. Roman’s team are more focused on appearance rather than substance while Logan is getting his hands dirty…. Once again two sides of the same coin but their difference are no doubt mean to feed the revolution Roman is no doubt about to face.

*****

Alright children, I meant to write more but I am off to work. See you in part 3

Rivkin, Julie. Literary Theory: a Practical Introduction. Wiley-Blackwell, 2017.

Whatwashernameagain. “The Dreamer - Chapter 1.” Hello Guys Gals And Non Binary Friends, 8 Sept. 2019, https://whatwashernameagain.tumblr.com/post/189407228487/the-dreamer-chapter-1?is_related_post=1.

Whatwashernameagain. “The Dreamer - Chapter 2.” Hello Guys Gals And Non Binary Friends, 8 Sept. 2019, https://whatwashernameagain.tumblr.com/post/189407228487/the-dreamer-chapter-2?is_related_post=1.

#The dreamer #villain!logan #hero!roman #sanders sides #logince #logan sanders #roman sanders #logan/roman #roman/logan #analysis #reaction #fanfiction #whatwashernameagain

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chillyravenart · 4 years

Note

Thаt feel when, you аre teаm blаck, but you аre hаting Dаemon. Only worthwile thing in his life were Kingdom of Stepstones, which were teаm project with Corlys аnd which they аbаndoned due to politicаl concerns, leаving loyаl men to die. P.S.: Love your fаnаrt, thаnk you very much.

Can't relate tbh. Daemon was literally the most integral member of the Blacks lol, if you root for Team Black, you also root for all that Daemon achieved for his side 🤷🏽‍♀️

Yes the war in the Stepstones was a joint enterprise but faced with the combined powers of the Triarchy, Daemon and Corlys were formidable. Daemon led the land army whilst Corlys attacked from the sea, it was a perfect partnership. The Triarchy's control of the Stepstones had proved to be a huge problem for Westerosi trade, and Daemon was able to cut the head off the snake by killing their leader Craghas Crabfeeder in single combat. And a seasoned, reputable seaman like Corlys fought alongside him and trusted him. The Sea Snake approved!🙌🏼 There's also no doubt that the Stepstones truly tempered Daemon's martial abilities which came in handy during the Dance. And honestly how can one be overly concerned about the fates of the men on the Stepstones when so much carnage ensued during the Dance?

Anyhoo:

Daemon set up the City Watch, which exists and serves the purpose to police the streets of KL to this day. He wielded Dark Sister, and rode Caraxes the Blood Wyrm, one of the most formidable dragons of the time. He was rude to Alicent and the Hightowers, which wins extra brownie points in my book lmao. He won multiple victories for the Blacks during the Dance, took back Harrenhal (which was a blow for the Greens), won the support of the riverlands, avenged Lucerys' death, made Aemond his bitch, defeating him and Vhagar in the most outstanding feat of BDE ever witnessed.

He also had more experience of warfare than all the greens combined. He had allies and spies everywhere, and he wasn't afraid to get his hands dirty. He was THE ROGUE PRINCE. And above all, Daemon Targaryen SUPPORTED his one true queen Rhaenyra and died for her cause!

Yes Daemon was a scumbag with the morals of a gardening hoe and a hot-blooded maverick, but damn it, he is OUR scumbag and a total legend besides.

And his legacy? Both of his sons sat on the Iron Throne, all future kings were descended from his blood. His daughter Baela was a badass and an important player during the Dance too, not to mention the image of her father. Baela and Rhaena also came through by finding Aegon III a suitable bride, when the Maiden Day Cattle Show farce was going on lmao.

So yes, you can hate Daemon all you like, but to say that his life wasn't worthwhile beyond the Stepstones is a disservice to him and every other Targaryen that followed.

In this house, we stan Daemon Targaryen, the Rogue Prince, the Lord of Fleabottom, Rhaenyra's baby daddy, destroyer of the Greens and my uterus 😍🥵

P.S sorry for the rant, thank you for coming to my Ted Targ Talk.

#anon asks #chillyravenart answers #daemon targaryen is a legend #and he owns this arse #daddy daemon

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wafflehousepancakes · 5 years

Text

You are demanding people.

But ask and you shall receive.

Let’s talk about Simon’s childhood. This is big and obvious one. He grew up in care homes, orphanages, and he wasn’t ever adopted. Obviously when he turned eleven/twelve (I’m not checking) he wasn’t able to get adopted because he went to Watford and a different home every summer. But aside from Simon’s obvious neglect (which I will get to later) can we talk about how badly he ws treated in homes? At the beginning of the book, Penny talks about how terrible Simon looks after he comes back from care homes. About how he always looks too thin and red. When he talks to Baz, Baz asks him if he ever believed in Father Christmas and Simon says no, that some care homes would have someone dress up as Father Christmas, but no he didn’t believe as a kid. And that just makes me unexplainably sad? Like Simon was completely robbed of a normal childhood? And he didn’t even have to be? Because Davy brought him into the world like that and then abandoned him? BUUUUT That’s something we’ll get into later. This is about little Simon. SO SECOND OF ALL—

Simon has communication issues. Simon has communication issues. SIMON HAS COMMUNICATION ISSUES. Why don’t we ever talk about this? Simon says it happens to kids like him in care. “Their parents never talk to them so they never learn how.” Simon never learned how to talk properly. Which led to him being emotionally inarticulate and we ignore this? Like I know we all love to talk about how much of a disaster Simon is but do we ever talk about why? No. SIMON HAS COMMUNICATION ISSUES BECAUSE NOBODY TAUGHT HIM HOW. Simon isn’t dense or stupid and I hate how the fandom treats him like that because he just has communication problems. This is the boy that said he didn;t see the reason is asking for what he wanted when he could just take it and how in care, he’d spent the summer “kicking walls and anyone who looked at me the wrong way”. As a human who, like Simon, is not good at speaking and with manners because of the people who raised them, Simon’s characterization in this way was really important to me and I feel like it’s important that we talk about it. LIke when Simon first started Watford, he felt bad because he wasn’t any good at talking and Possibelf would give him speech lectures that the MAge would sit in on and Simon never wanted to disappoint him.

Simon and The Mage. There is so much to this part. I hate The Mage. With all my heart, I hate him. He’s a terrible dad, terrible person. Like he created Simon, because he told Lucy who better than them to “raise our savior” but you didn’t raise him, sir. You abandoned him. Then picked him up later and acted like he was defective and needed fixing. The thing is, The Mage knew, didn’t he? That Simon was his son when he found him? I mean, I don’t think that it’s ever specified, but he must have known. He basically relieved himself of all the responsibilities of parenting Simon but kept the benefits of Simon being his. The Mage used him throughout the whole book, Simon’s whole life. But what’s worse, is Simon trusted him so much. He was loyal to The Mage. The Mage was the first person to give Simon any kind of purpose, but also to be kind to Simon in any way. So obviously Simon was going to trust him and be loyal to him because he gave Simon’s life an explanation and a chance for his life to mean something and Simon wasn’t going to hesitate to take it. Of course, it only got worse because everyone else he cared about hated The Mage, but even though Simon didn’t see The Mage as his father, The Mage was still an important part of his life that he didn’t want to let down. And Simon probably felt like disobeying or questioning The Mage would make Simon seem disloyal or ungrateful and he didn’t want that. Simon wanted to be enough for The Mage and felt like all he was good for was working for The Mage. But The Mage was just so bad to Simon. And the Simon says spell thought the only way to end The Mage hurting Simon was for The Mage to be dead. But imagine how Simon felt? Whether he realized what that meant or not (although knowing that killing The MAge was the only way to get him to stop hurting Simon is worse) he still killed his mentor. Well, he didn’t literally kill him, but if he hadn’t said what he said, The Mage would not have died like that. Simon obviously felt guilty for it because he killed his only mentor/father figure. Like that’s traumatic all on its own. But alas, Simon is full of lots of other trauma.

Simon’s inferiority complex? Should I call it that? Basically, Simon never felt good enough. He knew he had to be the savior but he never felt like he was doing it right. And everyone kept reminding him of what a fluke he was. He knew he was a terrible boyfriend to Agatha, but he felt like that was on him and didn’t break up with Agatha because that wasn’t “her fault.” He never thought about things because he was always going to do what he was told to. Simon felt worthless without his magic because he thought it was all he was really good for. He thought Baz only loved him because he was powerful. Simon felt like the whole purpose of his life was to do what everyone else wanted from him and never considered himself. Related to this isssss

Simon and Baz. So, first of all, I know we say poor Baz because he was in love with Simon who hated him and yes, I agree. But let’s also say poor Simon because his first year at Watford, when he was young and fragile and cried about a lot, he tried to be friendly with Baz and Baz took joy in tormenting him. And yeah we all talk about how paranoid Simon was with Baz, but Simon probably had trust issues anyway so the boy he was living with who was already the heir of the rival family threatening him all the time would probably cause Simon to not trust him very much. But what does all this have to do with Simon’s inferiority issues you ask? Well, I’m glad you asked.

Simon’s internalized homophobia/heteronormativity. Yes, you heard me. This isn’t a glaring issue, but I feel like it’s a strong undertone and it stays with me a lot. Simon was obviously under a lot of pressure to be the Chosen One that everyone wanted from him. He dated Agatha because they “made sense” together. Hating Baz was what was expected of them. Simon was just trying to go along with what made sense. He didn’t have to think or worry about his feelings because he knew things with Agatha made sense and he liked being with her. He didn’t need or want to open up to even himself because that could have meant disappointing people. When he leaves Baz’s with Penny and Agatha, he starts to panic about what Agatha would say. “You’re not even gay. And he’s not even alive. And that’s not even the worst part of this idea. What would The Mage say?” This one could be self-projection but my friends agree with me that internalized homophobia was a thing with Simon so thoughts?

Simon and magic. This is kind of a broad and straightforward one but it is important. Simon was in love with magic. It felt like the best part of his life, his reason for existence. But magic also brought all the problems in Simon’s life and no matter how much he loved it, he had to lose his magic in order to save everyone else’s. And that’s just really unfair to Simon that he spent his whole life surrounded by magic and with magic only to lose all of his and his personal connection to the magical world.

Conclusion: Simon’s trauma is somewhat downplayed by the fandom and he deserves better. He also deserves major healing in Wayward Son. Thanks for coming another one of my TED talks. EDIT: I’ve noticed that this post has a lot fewer notes (like -600) than my similar post about Baz and I feel like that highlights how little attention we pay to Simon’s trauma in favor of Baz’s ☕️

Comment your additions! Send me asks for more theories/opinions! I love analyzing characters!

#simon snow #baz pitch #carry on #snowbaz #rainbow rowell #carry on rainbow rowell #the mage #tyrannus basilton grimm pitch #fangirl

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thewisestwiseman · 6 years

Text

Why would Viren send Soren to kill the broyals?

I’m bothered by the fact that Viren chose to send Soren in particular to kill the broyals. Why? It seems strange that a highly controlling and manipulative man would send his ditzy child to carry out a delicate mission.

Firstly, Soren questioned Viren’s orders in the tower when he was asked to only to detain Callum. It seems odd that after that Viren would think it wise to then ask Soren to kill them. There’s a big difference between the two. It is also Soren’s sworn duty to protect the broyals as a Crownguard, and from what we’ve seen of Soren it appears that he takes his job rather seriously. Not only that, but it is directly against Soren’s nature.

He is shown to be sensitive and gentle towards those with less power than himself (The pretend stab to get Claudia’s attention, Soren and the tracking hounds, emotional eating after a tense conversation with dad, the split second of wonder while watching the moon month fly around him). Yes, we have seen Soren at the point of lopping off Runaan’s head, but he had reason to as the king (who he was sworn to protect) has just been killed only moments before, and we can assume he has learnt some of his father’s biases in respect to the elves. On top of that, Viren also has a very low opinion of his son, and it’s quite clear that he favours Claudia over Soren.

He clearly cannot stand Soren. In terms of legacy or whatnot, there’s no way that Viren actually plans to have Soren as his heir I’m sorry.

This is a complete 180 from Viren’s behaviour as shown above. Even Soren seems confused at the sudden affection he is now being shown. Viren is cunning, he must know that his son is too gentle to murder two kids.

Which brings me to the why there may be anything motive for this mission. It doesn’t matter which way the mission goes, Viren benefits from the results. If Soren manages to kill the broyals, not only would Viren have access to the throne, but also would have managed to test Soren’s loyalty and gain a pawn. If Soren fails, he will most likely die. Viren knows that an elf has taken the princes and he also must have some suspicion that Amaya would have sent someone else as well, as he knows that she doesn’t trust him and if he honestly thinks so that is some bad judgement on his behalf. He has also ordered Claudia to place priority on the egg over her brother.

Having Soren out of the way means that Viren doesn’t have to worry about having a possible loose cannon, someone who questions his orders in front of the other guards (to a control freak this would have especially ticked him off). It also gives Viren more control over Claudia, as it is clear that she is the prodigal child. She practices dark magic, spends more time with Viren, and is given a mission that to Viren is of utmost importance. He trusts her more than Soren. But her and Soren are a tight-knit unit, and if Soren begins to have doubts about his father and the mission and talks to Claudia about them, she will most likely listen. Even if she dismisses them, the damage may already have been done. The last benefit is the image boost it gives to Viren.

If his own son were to die on a mission to rescue the Princes it would demonstrate Viren’s dedication to the kingdom, as well as create bigger enemies of Xadia (if that’s even possible at this point).

Viren is a cunning and manipulative man, and there must exist some ulterior motive for giving such an important mission to his 'dumb' son. Amaya tells Gren and the guards to be wary of Viren as ‘he will stab you in the back’ (Thanks Biggles for pointing this out)

This implies that Viren has a history of sly betrayal. Yes, Viren doesn’t have henchmen per se, but he’s a very powerful sorcerer and possibly has the ability to magic some form of beast or charm a guard to do his dirty work. If he chose Soren for the mission there must’ve been a good reason for him to do so.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

#tdp #tdp spoilers #the dragon prince #tdp theory #soren #viren #someone save the children #special thanks to biggles for these sweet gifs #you're a god amongst men #i will love you always #tdp season 1

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jennycalendar · 5 years

Text

2018 fic writing roundup

tagged by @catty-words !! thank u darling

i have this lingering suspicion that the 92k mess that is imperfections has a tendency of bumping up my word count, but also i’ve been writing particularly A Lot this year. so. yikes. this’ll be a mess

Total 2018 Word Count: 465,233 (so uh. yikes squared?) Total 2018 Hits: 16,798 Other 2018 AO3 Stats: Kudos: 1,592; Comment threads: 457; Bookmarks: 186; Subscriptions: 121.

Total 2017 Word Count: 171,640 Total 2017 Hits: 9,156 Other 2017 AO3 Stats: Kudos: 841; Comment threads: 172; Bookmarks: 126; Subscriptions: 40.

Links and Titles to 2018 Works (buckle up kids)

ten questions for new year’s eve (6,669 words) lonely s4 giles meets jenny on new year’s eve. basically fluff laced with some light angst, which i think set the tone for most of my writing this year

forever (4,738 words) some assorted femslash ficlets from tumblr that i immediately forgot about after february. it of course got buried under a deluge of jenny fic but there’s still some cute stuff there! i had a lot of fun in particular writing about bb willow and the beginnings of her attraction to girls

she’s your destiny (9,560 words) AHHHHHH I FORGOT I WROTE THIS. blessings of writing This Much. soulmate au with buffy/willow and giles/jenny where like. none of them are soulmates but they fall crazy in love anyway.

the happy-ending bouquet (3,851 words) set in 2018. giles and jenny have been married for something like 15 years and are still very happy and in love. basically just an endless deluge of fluff

personas (2,729 words) hhhhh i hesitate to count this as a 2018 fic, because i technically posted it in summer 2017 and then deleted it for reasons unknown (even to me). but there aren’t enough fics that explore jenny’s fractured sense of identity and her broken heart and i love my girl so much. so. wrote that.

something real (2,173 words) my valentine’s day fic!! a friend and i share the headcanon that jenny would have finally shoved her way back into giles’s heart if not for the love spell throwing her off, so. wrote a fic where that happened, albeit somewhat angstily.

direct, but not unwelcome (4,478 words) this fic always makes me cringe, a little; the office verse was written largely for faith and tara, and writing giles and jenny in it was a decision i don’t entirely like (mostly bc there really is no narrative place for either of them). but it has a few good lines ig?

putting a ring on it (2,370 words) giles and jenny proposal fic!! a little wobbly in places imo but still so fun to write. those two deserve all the fluff

the second choice soulmates (6,942 words) the inevitable faith/tara sequel to the soulmate au!! i had it planned from the second i started writing the first fic in that series, and i had a lot of fun with it. in which faith and tara have to deal with their soulmates being in love with each other, and end up falling in love themselves.

nightmares and the aftermath (1,205 words) the first fic i wrote in the ripper au! ripper has a nightmare; jenny talks him through it.

the inherent complexity of falling in love (3,519 words) more soulmate au nonsense!! this time with solely giles and jenny!!

let’s stay together (857 words) i say that this is “a series of vignettes in which ben, ann, and leslie are dating” but really it’s just one. i’ve kept it in bc i really wanna write more than one. ben/leslie/ann is such a blessed ship and there are no fics for it! which is ridiculous! because they really should all be dating!! leslie has two hands y’all

moments of connection in an uncertain world (3,351 words) the olivia/jenny fic that set that amazing ship on its course. set in asoue; jenny’s identity in the narrative is ambiguous bc jenny’s identity in every narrative is ambiguous. mystery bicon

amends (remixed) (2,988 words) i’m like 99 percent sure i spite-wrote this fic after watching amends bc that really seems like something i would do. in which ghost jenny makes sure buffy, angel, and giles all know that she doesn’t blame them for a single thing.

it’s a family affair (11 chapters) jenny, married to giles and mom to two daughters, loses her memory. i meant for this to be an exploration of jenny and giles’s relationship + jenny as a character, but with hindsight i feel like i kinda rushed it. maybe someday i’ll come back and expand this a little?

maybe i’m in love (24 chapters) CRIES. this fic was posted all in one day and got buried under the deluge of fic i wrote this year and i am still so sad that it remains forgotten. even by me. like i forgot it existed till now. but it is the treasure of my heart and i am still not sure what i can possibly do for calendiles day 2019 that will even come close to “slow burn giles/jenny series rewrite in script format.”

dragonslayers (8,048 words) i go back and forth between whether adding a sequel to a sappy-happy-ending fic was actually needed, but i had a lot of fun writing jenny and anya and tara being friends and adopting a dog. those girls deserve so much better.

tech support (1,315 words) jenny works at angel investigations, and giles meets her when he and buffy drive up to la to get a book. unabashed fluff.

family ties (2,294 words) giles introduces jenny to his dad and the aunts. i had giles call himself “rupert” for the entire fic and forgot to explain why i made the choice to do so (and there was a damn good reason!!!) so every time i see this fic....Regret™

i like you (992 words) the product of me realizing “wait, i never wrote a fic about my Very Specific Headcanon that giles and jenny had sex after school hard!!!” and then going ahead and writing that fic. not explicit; lots of giles and jenny being dumb and in love

take me now! (3,460 words) the sister fic to my other jenny/olivia fic! in this one, jenny’s a watcher and olivia’s the sweet librarian who has her all blushy.

the grieving process (9,771 words) this fic! was! such a trip to write! i wanted to write something where giles’s s6 issues were confronted. originally i wrote a jenny’s-alive fic where he goes to her place in la after leaving buffy in tabula rasa, but the mood of that fic was miserable and hostile, so i changed things ever so slightly. and then it became “giles goes to jenny after buffy dies,” and that transitioned into “giles actually finally gets to have an outlet for his emotions,” and then it became a very soft fic that i love very much.

unsolved mysteries (1,704 words) a modern jackaby au! where jenny cavanaugh has trauma-related anxiety and eats pretzels w jackaby in a hall closet! surprisingly soft.

the cleanup crew (2,968 words) post-ted; buffy calls jenny and giles in to help her with ted’s robot body. because that ep was a hot mess and too many things were tied up too fast.

princess charming (2,754 words) written thanks to a throwaway line from the grieving process! about jenny saving fred in pylea! @theforestlesbian mentioned in a review that this fic came off as “the adventures of jenny” and that was the best compliment ever.

untraditional, unconditional (4,223 words) ripper au! ripper and jenny get married! i don’t think i will ever write a better calendiles wedding than this one.

gettin’ bi (1,215 words) jenny and giles come out to each other. that’s really it.

intimacy (1,058 words) some root/shaw fluff. g o sh at some point i really should finish poi huh

the battle’s done (and we kind of won) (5,026 words) post-chosen; jenny inexplicably comes back from the dead, and giles works thru the messy aftermath of s7.

chaos, vengeance, love (1,412 words) giles’s exes talk over his grave. (and yes, i do mean jenny and ethan.)

buffy summers, muggle-born (6,075 words) buffy goes to hogwarts! this was meant to set the scene for a loosely connected string of fics, but i could never decide whether i wanted them to be chaptered fics or oneshots. i do have like 3 large chapters saved to my computer, tho :/

a eulogy (920 words) jenny calendar, as told by how she’s remembered.

survivors’ guilt (4,690 words) in which giles dies instead of jenny, and jenny and buffy deal with it poorly. my only problem w this fic is that i really wish i’d explored the messy aftermath of what might have happened if jenny had brought giles back. 2019 project y/y?

regarding honor and honesty in the workplace (43 chapters) CRIES IN JENNY/LILAH. given that i did not shut up about this fucking fic for a good 3 months, i don’t think it needs a summary.

maybe we could have a thing (3,184 words) giles and jenny’s first date!! canon told us they went out beforehand and it really did need to be ficced.

the most important words (2,753 words) passion fix-it! how many of these have i written dfshlsdhdf. anyway, by some lucky stroke, jenny doesn’t die, but she’s understandably kind of a mess. giles tries to help.

that brown-eyed technopagan (2,821 words) ripper au! willow has a HUGE crush on jenny calendar, who in this ‘verse is in her senior year at sunnydale high. lots of high school shenanigans.

seven new and very bad songs about jenny (8,597 words) another ripper au fic, this one about what it takes for ripper to finally give in and kiss the girl.

love of mine (282 words) one of the two fics i have written that involves giles grieving jenny. angst abounds.

the adjustment period (4024 words) i wanted to write about how weak vamp jenny is for her gf, so i returned to the grand romantic gestures ‘verse and explored that. femslash calendiles!!

love, scotch, and late-night parties (2,539 words) the aftermath of eyghon in the ripper au. jenny wants to be smothered in attention from ripper; ripper wants to give jenny the space he thinks she needs. basically the exact opposite of canon with the exact same inability to communicate.

father and son (3,761 words) in which ripper examines his relationship to his dad, and worries about treating his new son the same way. (spoiler alert: he obviously does not.)

imperfections (46 chapters) TECHNICALLY i added a few new chapters in 2018. i stg i’ll at least get closer to finishing it this year.

happily ever after (2,005 words) set after the dire king! jenny and jackaby being dumb and in love and experimenting with “the mechanics of ghost-human relations.”

cardboard robot (2,097 words) ripper au: halloween edition! ripper gets a pumpkin stuck on his head and sings about jenny, who Definitely Doesn’t Like Him What Are You Talking About Shut Up.

tea, with honey (3,295 words) a modern jackaby au, where jenny’s trauma really is trauma with no ghost metaphor. jackaby, darling of my heart, is still just as sympathetic.

very really married (6 chapters) THIS I WILL FINISH IN 2019. FOR REALS. i have too many unpublished chapters on my laptop to NOT finish it. set in s1; giles and jenny get drunk married in las vegas pre-canon. which, of course, adds a whole new level of complexity to both of giles’s new jobs.

coping (2,611 words) i really wanted to write about jenny and eyghon, bc there are like 0 fics that address the absolute mess that canon throws at that woman. so i did. very angsty with no clear happy ending, bc that’s what happens when you write canon compliant fic about jenny calendar.

yours (2,747 words) my first foray into writing phryne and jack! and, if the 4k-and-counting wip is anything to go by, definitely not my last. 2018 brought me a lot of things, but watching mfmm all the way through was definitely one of the best.

family ties (2,640 words) catch me crying about river and the ponds for the rest of my life, probably. centered around river’s graduation from luna university and her relationship with her parents.

decently clothed (1,516 words) lots of dumb calendiles fluff!! based on a paragraph from a btvs novel; jenny and giles go clothes shopping. it’s exactly as cute as it sounds.

making things right (1,060 words) passion fix-it that came to me when i thought “what if jenny survived, but didn’t even care that she’d almost died, bc what really mattered was that she’d fixed things with giles and buffy?? lmao how badly would that fuck giles up, knowing that she placed earning his trust over her own life???” and then i wrote it bc i love pain

bless her soul (6,294 words) s3. jenny comes back wrong. lots of explorations of the guilt that buffy, giles, and angel harbored for jenny’s death, with none of the pain of using jenny solely as a mouthpiece for evil. so like. amends done right.

dear friend (1 chapter, so far) a you’ve got mail calendiles au that i really do intend to work on some more in 2019.

haunted (15,622 words) WHAT a note to end 2018 on. a (mostly) non-supernatural au in which jenny, after an intense & awful trauma, leaves sunnydale and buys a ridiculously inexpensive mansion in england. why was it so cheap? because giles, the ghost who lives there, has been scaring off buyers. naturally, jenny is not easily rattled.

Favorite Fic: it’s hard to choose bc i wrote so many but for now i’ll pick bless her soul. writing the-first-as-jenny and playing up scooby guilt while still getting to bring jenny back for a happy ending??? that was just so much fun.

Hardest Fic: very really married. absolutely. i was in a v weird place while writing that fic, so that certainly didn’t help, but that fic has been giving me Trouble since i started writing it.

Do You Plan to Take Prompts in 2019? always!!

What was the best thing about 2018? friendsssss!!! i’m entering 2019 with a lot of solid friendships, which really wasn’t the case in 2018.

What was the worst thing about 2018? tbh the answer will always and forever be “my mom” until i am out of this house

Any last thoughts for 2018? how the FUCK did i WRITE more than half of the fics i have posted on ao3 in THIS YEAR ALONE. 55 FICS. i’m REELING.

Goals for 2019

finish the cheesy au g/j multichapters i started

maybe start work on a detective au sequel? i miss that ‘verse

more ripper au fic!!!!!

more jenny/olivia!!!

more jenny centric fic in general like It’s What She Deserves

SOMETHING about jenny and angel. i talk big talk about how much that dynamic fascinates me but i only ever touch on it in fic. it’s never the central focus.

finish the phryne/jack fic i’m working on, and maybe...tentatively...write more?

#fic #fic roundup #55 FICS WRITTEN i am. kinda in shock #i wanna tag people but i don't know who writes what so like #if u wanna do this consider urself tagged????

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trulycertain · 6 years

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Alistair’s Parentage, and why I go a bit Tru Smash

OK, it’s time to talk about why I aggressively dislike the “Alistair’s bloodline” retcons and how they come up in the comics. *sigh* I do try to keep this a positivity blog, but I thought as character arc analysis it might be worth saying. I’ll just thank @aphreal42, @celeritassagittae, @withthebreezesblown, @nanahuatli, a few others. I know we’ve talked about this.

*coughs, shuffles papers* Thank you for coming to my TED talk. Sorry again about the... everything.

On Maric

I was frustrated to see the centering of Maric in the comics, and mention of the hunt for him in Inquisition. It’s something that happens even if you’ve kept Alistair a Warden. And this is my question: Why?

I mean, why should Alistair be hunting for the father who couldn’t be bothered to raise him, when it’s not going to save Ferelden or Thedas? Yes, there’s some vagueness about it, an unrealistic dream of “maybe Maric can go on the throne and be better at it than me,” but that just makes it look like he hasn’t been allowed to learn anything or adapt as king, that he’s still desperately running from it, that he’s still reduced to his bloodline rather than his own choices and personal growth.

We’ve had this arc of him desperately trying to abdicate responsibility of any kind; we had it in Origins, when he was twenty and green. It’s been ten years. Often, smart, perceptive people like Alistair grow rather a lot in ten years, despite or even because of their own fears.

So we’re right back to the daddy issues. And back to the bloodline. Healing is not always a linear process, but it cannot, by definition, go backwards and plonk you right back to the progress you’d made ten years ago. That’s not healing, and it’s not an arc - it’s a circle. Narratively, it’s not a very interesting circle, either.

The frustrating thing? BioWare’s story folk can do realistic, beautiful “healing is not linear and sometimes people have days where they look back and want to undo everything because oh god what if they got it wrong” arcs about parentage. See Dorian’s or Hawke’s. Both of those have some big issues (I will never, for instance, be comfortable with how much you can hide from Dorian, or how heavily you can push him towards reconciliation, and have issues with that being a player choice at all), but they’re far more emotionally genuine and allow for nuance. More on that later.

Why do Maric’s growth and arc, considering he’s basically been dead for nigh-on fifteen years by the time of the Silent Grove comics, have to come at the expense of Alistair’s?

And why do we assume Alistair needs dragon blood to be awesome, when he’s been awesome pretty much forever for reasons of his own choosing?

(And OK, this one just bugs me for petty reasons: why does Maric have a less-fun version of Alistair’s self-deprecating humour in the novels? (Though all right, quite fond of the bit about falling off horses; forgive the nested brackets.) There’s a clear “like father, like son” thing there, but they met... what? Twice? Three times? I’m just fascinated by a fantasy world where there exists an “awkward quips” gene, because I must have it in spades.)

On Fiona

Fiona herself is a mid-tier character I don't mind. She has some interesting aspects but we don't see enough of her for me to have a strong opinion. Even the novels are a bit half-baked and inconclusive on her arc.

Fiona as a character with difficult choices to make and ambiguous, pragmatic motivations? Yeah, OK. She’s not one of my favourite DA chars, because she barely appears and unlike Maric, we’re not given much after-the-fact canon, dialogue and extra codices on her (*sigh*, because Daddy Issues are always more important), but she works. Fiona as a Very Special Warden Who Got Blight-Cured and another aspect of Alistair’s "well, he can't just be normal" story? Goodness no. It does both characters a disservice.

The only aspect that interested me with Alistair’s king-as-father relationship was the class stuff and the terror of responsibility. Other than “a fascination with magic” (which I find way more interesting as something he developed himself, as a non-mage but one with basic empathy and a curious mind), Fiona's motherhood hasn't really contributed much to his arc. The deep loneliness was there already. Yes, he has one more person who let him down for at the time seemingly justified reasons. OK. We’ve heard that... a lot of times already.

So Fiona, who already had a serviceable story arc of her own, ends up with it partly centred around Alistair’s for... reasons? I guess? in order to prop up his story, but not to do it in any way that really affects it or offers closure and just makes a hash of hers?

Narratively, I simply don't get why he has to be her kid, or be a half-elf. My interest is in how utterly bloody ordinary he is, because that's what makes him special. Both the "my bloodline is ultraspecial because Maric" and "my bloodline is ultraspecial because Fiona" stories bored me equally. He for all intents and purposes still looks human, and his story already has a pretty big focus on oppression. There’s no reason to pile “have we also mentioned half-elf and abandoned by one more person” on top of it. It’s just... overseasoning.

On Alistair

For me, the entire appeal of Alistair’s arc was that he made himself. His pain and his abuse were a major part of his story, but he chose strength. He chose to centre himself around being a Warden, around helping people. Someone who went through that could have easily wanted to watch the world burn, but he didn’t. He is not his parents, or his blood. That's not why his story is interesting.

Growing up, Alistair’s most formative influence wasn’t his parents; it was the lack of them. Or of family in general.

If you want to pick major figures in his life, I suppose Maric could be one of them. Fiona? No, he isn’t even allowed to know she exists.

The formative influences we’re given, ones he remembers and mentions and seem to have imparted lessons:

Duncan, the almost-father he idolises, and the first person to believe in him

The idea - rather than the reality - of his mother, a serving-maid whose death he blames himself for; he clings to the idea she would have loved him, hence the amulet

Eamon, who was the nearest thing he had to a father and left him, which clearly affected him, and who continues trying to use him, albeit maybe with some real concern in there

Isolde, who helped seal that he was a dangerous tool or leverage, not a person, and started the chain of events that led to the Chantry

Teagan, who was ultimately ineffectual but made him hope for more, and was one of the few sources of kindness in his life

The Chantry bullies, perhaps

Goldanna, who reinforced that “you’re nothing but an inconvenience” mentality and was his last hope of a loving family

The Wardens, who were the nearest thing he had to a family

The people he meets during the Blight, the Warden in particular but definitely Morrigan, Leliana, Zev and the dog, who all make him question different aspects of himself and broaden his horizons a little

There are a ton of stories to tell there, and certainly, the Warden and their relationship with him - good, bad, indifferent - gets the spotlight, as do Eamon and Teagan. Heck, even Cailan gets a look-in, and Duncan has his moment. So why, ten years later, are we back to the twin spectres of Maric and Fiona?

Look... making an abused, neglected kid still be defined and unable to get away from the parents that walked out of his life, and not letting him have his own story? I don't know, that... bugs me. To put it mildly. OK, I’m probably overstating it and drawing parallels where there shouldn’t be, but it does rather feel like that’s the case. This way, he's never allowed progress, growth or agency. And I just... can't. I can't enjoy a story like that, it's too bloody sad and cheap.

He was an neglected kid who was told, over and over, that he deserved the bare minimum. When you've had no love at all, even a half-hearted grain of it is enough. And that has defined his story so much, but there are other stories to tell with him; one of the reasons I like him is his complexity. I want it to stop defining his story. He shouldn’t have to be hunting that family spectre. It may be something that still hurts him, which would be realistic enough, but it’s not all he is, and it’s not what he is to Thedas.

We have so many stories out there where kids are defined by difficult parents. We have so many reconciliation storylines about the sins of families being forgiven, or accepted. (See also: Dorian’s story, depending on how you play it, and definitely Hawke and Leandra’s. I could write a whole meta post on those.)

How about some counter-narratives? Maybe the world needs more “Sometimes family isn’t a matter of blood, and sometimes your parents didn’t do enough and it’s OK to walk away from the unanswered questions. You’re not broken or static, you still have stories to tell, and you can still grow” arcs. Because life isn’t a Hallmark card, blood doesn’t equal love, and, to quote Dorian on this one, “Sometimes love isn’t enough.” That could be a healthier, more realistic kind of fiction, but also a more interesting one.

...OK, now I’m getting off-track.

tl;dr: I am totally with Alistair that his bloodline is the least interesting thing about him. You go guy.

#alistair theirin #maric theirin #fiona #dragon age #meta #ie me rambling #look i'm awkward and english #i always have to preface any hint of negativity #with at least three 'i'm so sorry's #bioware critical #i... guess?#i dunno?

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