#yet having no idea how to change for the better without putting everything you've worked for (everything you've suffered for) at risk

[total-drama-brainrot]

my total drama oc is a reversal of the show's pre-established "villain" archetype.

right off the bat, they're just the worst person; outright antagonistic towards everyone and constantly causing conflict amidst the cast, openly orchestrating people's eliminations, blatantly cheating but in such a way that technically they're not breaking any rules- without disguising themself behind a mask of geniality (like alejandro, heather and julia did).

and they're kept around well into the competition because their villainy? it's ratings gold. people love a good antagonist, especially one that's so productive. the audience loves to hate them, or hates that they love them, and everyone is gunning for their downfall- which only becomes more and more tempting with every elimination.

plus, chris is more than happy to enable them so long as they keep things interesting.

interestingly enough, they never seem to use the confessional. or at least, none of their confessions are aired. well, that's not exactly true. one confession is aired, and it's them boasting to the audience that they wouldn't understand the inner machinations of their mind, and that they don't deserve to hear their thoughts.

consequently, the audience has no idea what they're thinking at any given time, only seeing glimpses of their schemes throughout the episode until everything comes to fruition- like a puzzle finally being completed. it's a smart move for the network, because it means the audience gets to watch their plans play out in 'real time' without their insight/foreknowledge, making it just as impactful to the viewers as it is to the competitors. it helps with immersion, which is a boon for the ratings!

until their elimination, wherein their confessions are played out on the big screen, and it's heartbreaking.

they explain, in their first confession, that they were accosted by chris at the beginning of the competition to act as the main antagonistic force for the show, and that he's turn a blind eye to their antics so long as they kept the viewers watching, even paying them a decent salary if their act was good enough. because they're smart- smart enough to play the rest of the cast like a fiddle if they wanted to, and chris wants them to.

what a great deal, right? being given blanket permission to be as conniving as possible, and a pay check to boot- who wouldn't take the opportunity?

and they round it out by "getting into character" on camera, sneering haughtily at the lens and- you guessed it- boasting to the audience that they wouldn't understand the inner machinations of their mind, before giggling dorkily at the silliness of their statement, commenting that it'd we way too obvious they were faking if they acted that snooty. they're a theatre kid at heart, so the idea of "playing the villain" is exciting! it's going to be so fun!

but their second confession is sombre. they're visibly tired, wiping away at the concealer under their eyes to reveal some heavy bags, and they're curled up into a pitiful ball in front of the camera. they divulge that the pressure to constantly live up to the shows expectations of antagonism is crushing, and their status as a social pariah is more draining than they'd care to admit, and that- despite the apparent glee they've been committing these acts of villainy with- being so outwardly morally corrupt has left them with a constant churning of guilt in their gut. they only agreed to be the "bad guy" for the money, which would help their family's financial situation tremendously, but they're growing increasingly uncertain if the reward justifies the risks.

by the third confession, they're actively sickened by their actions, eventually devolving from airing their frustrations, lamenting their choice to method act as such an awful person, to throwing up into the confessional's toilet as they hold back guilt-leaden tears and repeat a mantra of "i'm sorry, i'm sorry,". they're drowning in the murky waters of their persona, and backing out now would only lead to more scrutiny and suspicion from the people who were supposed to be their friends, and they know they'd deserve the mistrust. plus, backtracking from their deal with chris would jeopardise everything- from the dirty money they've earned from their antagonism to their place in the competition itself; they'd be voted out in a heartbeat without the network's safety blanket of plot armour!

they don't know what to do. they barely even know who they are anymore.

and then the camera's focus cuts to the real-time them, who's sat ashen-faced and deathly still as their weakest moments are broadcast, not only to the people who rightfully hate them, but to the whole world.

#we've seen “charming persona villainous person” now get ready for “villainous persona poor little meow meow person” #it's like alejandro and julia's 'character arcs' but backwards. kind of. #instead of going from fake-nice to real-mean. they go from fake-mean to real-depressed. oops. #i think it's unrealistic to expect a ~16 year old to be some mastermind villain without it having some mental health consequences #plus being outright encouraged to be an awful person would be so so bad for anyone's sense of morality. not to mention the self-loathing-- #that's stems from both KNOWING you're a bad person and being ostracised by your peers because of such. #yet having no idea how to change for the better without putting everything you've worked for (everything you've suffered for) at risk #what i'm trying to say is. my total drama oc needs therapy and maybe a hug #it's giving kokichi ouma but with less self-sacrifice and more angst/self hatred #it'd be totally in character for chris to pay off the series' antagonist in a bid for more drama btw. don't even act like i'm wrong. #(it's happened in canon before with owen's mole arc in action!) #though ig this type of character wouldn't appear in a cartoon aimed at kids/tweens. #unless they're trying to teach their target audiences morality/the consequences of being a bad person? 🤔 #anyway- #total drama oc #ophe rambling #character analysis #sort of? more like character outline #love me some sympathetic villains!! #long post #feel free to ignore #is this too angsty for a total drama oc? idk 🥶

[avatar-anna]

When You Fall In Love...

so i've been reading icebreaker and it's been putting me in the hockeyrry mood

part one, part two, bonus, bonus

Harry watched from the empty stands as Y/n ran through her routine for the fifth time. Her teammates had gone home, her coach asked Harry if he would lock up on the way out, and now it was just the two of them in the empty rink. There wasn't even any music playing anymore, Y/n was just skating and performing her tricks as if there was.

Every time she did it, it was flawless. Her routine was fast and intense and incredibly difficult, but Y/n performed with ease every time. She landed her tricks like they were nothing, tricks which Harry now knew the names of and could tell the difference between a lutz and an axel. She was incredible, and he was in awe of her every single time.

But even in her perfection, Y/n had yet to smile once.

Harry decided she'd had enough after she finished her fifth run-through, quickly jogging down to the edge of the rink before she could skate out to the middle again. He leaned over the barricade and kissed the top of her head. This close to her, he could see her rosy cheeks and heaving chest, a sign that her routine did wear her out, despite making it look so effortless.

"You were phenomenal as usual, baby," Harry said while he gathered her things.

"I bobbled a landing and my timing was off for a whole four counts," was her reply.

Harry frowned, not pleased by her recent negativity. Any athlete could be critical of their ability, but Y/n seemed uncharacteristically hard on herself lately, and he had no idea why. "Everything okay?" He asked, shouldering her duffle bag as they walked away from the rink.

"I'm fine."

She certainly didn't sound fine, but Harry decided not to push. Not now, anyway. Changing the subject, he said, "I got an email from the recruiter. I should be receiving my contract soon."

Excitement didn't even begin to cover how Harry had been feeling lately. Last week, he'd met with an agent of a minor league hockey team, one that was a feeder to an NHL team. He expressed their interest in Harry moving to the east coast after graduation and join them for spring training. And after giving it some thought, Harry accepted.

He was over the moon, thrilled that years of hard work was finally paying off. He'd made his passion into a career, and had the potential to really make a name for himself. Life couldn't have been better.

But where Harry seemed to be flying high, Y/n seemed stuck. She was happy for him when he told her the news, had gone out to celebrate with him that night. But something felt off between them. Harry couldn't put a name to it, but he just knew.

"That's great," Y/n said with no amount of enthusiasm in her voice. Harry tried not to take it to heart, she was clearly in a mood from her practice. She was under a lot of pressure too, he reminded himself, and sometimes had a knack for not knowing how to express herself with words.

"Is there something on your mind? You've been quiet recently," he said, hoping he wasn't overstepping her delicate boundary.

Y/n shook her head as she approached her car, sliding into the driver's seat without a word. Harry couldn't help but feel more and more like there was something on her mind, but he let it go again.

Before pulling the car out of the parking lot, Y/n rested her hand over his and leaned in to kiss him. "I'm sorry. I've just got a lot on my mind."

"It's okay. As long as you know you can talk to me about it."

Her throat bobbed, but she nodded, then turned her focus toward the road. Harry filled the silence with rambling. He talked mostly about the NHL, about his contract and where he wanted to live and how everything was happening so fast.

So caught up in trying to break the tension, he didn't notice Y/n's white-knuckle grip on the steering wheel.

*.*

"Styles! What the hell are you doing? Focus up! Let's go!"

Harry rested his hands on his knees, breathing heavily during the brief pause in the game. His eyes flicked up to the stands, searching the crowd for a familiar face, but he didn't see the one he needed the most.

Despite being recruited by a minor league hockey team, Harry was probably having the worst game of his life.

Not one pass connected, he was letting second-rate players get by him, and he'd spent more time in the penalty box than in the actual game. Nothing about this was right, and still all he could do was look for Y/n.

She wasn't there, and even though things had been weird between them recently, he was still surprised. When she wasn't at a competition of her own, Y/n came to every one of Harry's games. It had started out as Harry wanting to impress her, maybe show off a little, and then as time went on and they grew closer and their relationship became more than two people having sex in secret, he wanted her to be there just because it felt good knowing she was watching him play. All his nerves floated away when Y/n was sat in the stands, sometimes in his jersey, cheering him on.

And of course there were times when she couldn't come, but this wasn't one of those times. Y/n had purposely not shown up. He knew they'd fought before the game, but he didn't think she would abandon him just to be petty. They were past that now.

His sole focus should've been on the game he was playing, but instead his mind kept drifting to the fight.

Harry could feel Y/n pulling away from him. He finally felt like he was getting everything he wanted—a spot on a minor league hockey team on the east coast that would eventually lead him to the NHL, graduating with semi-decent grades thanks to Y/n, and of course being with his dream girl. At first, she'd seen him as some douchey athlete that was only good for one thing. He remembered seeing her for the first time their freshman year, performing tricks on the ice that he'd only ever seen on TV, and when he whistled and clapped loudly—perhaps a little obnoxiously—after she'd finished, she'd rolled her eyes at him and told him to fuck off.

It was love at first sight.

Harry had been so careful around Y/n. He played by her rules and followed her lead, trying not to let the comments about them not dating get to him too much. He liked their initial dynamic, finding it funny when he got under her skin because she made it so easy. It became a kind of game, this push and pull that was fun and exciting and eventually led to their arrangement.

He knew that she cared about him on some level, he just needed to bide his time and show her he wasn't who she thought he was. Not entirely, anyway. And when she finally did, and they became more than just people who screwed around, everything was perfect.

They'd been through so much together. Y/n pushed Harry to be better, and he worked with her to master new tricks and nail her routine. There wasn't anyone else who understood his level of commitment to hockey, but she did, and that just made him love her more.

So when he got the call offering him a spot on the minor league team, Y/n was the first person Harry told. She'd been happy for him, and he was over the moon, his mind already making a million plans—where they'd live, her coming to his games, him helping her find a new rink to train at. It felt like the doors to a new and exciting world had opened for them, but she then she started pulling back, and Harry practically watched as that door slammed shut.

Harry pushed himself to focus back on the game, on the hockey stick in his hand and the ice beneath his skates. He felt like it took more effort than it should've to get his head back in the game, but his team managed to pull out a win, and he managed not to get benched before it happened. That didn't stop his coach from ripping him a new one in the locker room, but Harry sat there and took it, shaking his head and promising his piss poor performance would never happen again.

Exhausted both physically and mentally, he trudged out of the locker room and toward the parking lot, debating whether to take the bus home or call an Uber. Even in his senior year, he still didn't have a car, but Y/n was usually there to give him a ride home. To their home. Moving in together for their last year of school seemed like a no-brainer, and it had been amazing so far, though the last week had been kind of a disaster. Harry could feel the tension between them growing, but every time he asked Y/n about it, she'd say she was fine even though they both knew everything was not fine, and the cycle continued. He wanted to be excited, he wanted to celebrate the success he'd managed to create for himself, but he felt rather deflated instead.

To Harry's surprise, Y/n was waiting for him in the parking lot. He didn't hesitate putting his gear in the trunk and coming around to sit in the passenger seat. Y/n leaned in to kiss him immediately holding onto the sides of his face fervently.

"I'm sorry," she breathed. "I'm sorry for not being here tonight and I'm sorry for acting strange, and I'm sorry for—"

"Y/n, what's going on with you?" Harry couldn't help but ask.

"Can we wait until we get home to talk?" She asked. I want to be able to talk to you properly, and I can't if I'm driving.

When Harry nodded, Y/n must've deemed it enough. She peeled away from the rink, silent tension filling the air between once again. It had been following them around all week.

That ended tonight, though. He didn't care how much Y/n hated confrontation or hard conversations. They couldn't move forward if they didn't move past this roadblock first. Harry loved Y/n more than he ever thought possible, and stubborn as she was, he knew she loved him just as much. He would get to the bottom of this, no matter how hard she tried to fight him on the way down.

*.*

"Y/n, you know I would be ecstatic if you'd told me you qualified for the Olympics. This is a huge step in my career! Why can't you be happy for me?"

"I am! God, Harry, I am."

"Then why are you pulling away from me? I feel like I can't be excited about this around you when you're the one person who should understand how this feels."

"I can't do this. I can't have this argument with you," you said, trying to step away from him.

Harry was quick to grab your hands in his, keeping you from walking away. "What aren't you telling me? Do you want to break up?"

"No!

"Do you not love me anymore? What? What is it, Y/n?"

"God, I didn't—I didn't ask for this," you cried, feeling like a damn had burst inside you. It was out now, and now you had to see it through to the end. "I didn't plan on falling in love with you. I wasn't prepared to love you this much. You're the one who wanted to take things further, and now you're—"

You're leaving me, you couldn't bring yourself to say. You really were happy for him. All of his dreams were coming true, and he had an ambition that matched yours, which made you love him more. And now that ambition was taking him far away from you, and you weren't handling it as well as you thought you would.

"Y/n—"

"I'm happy for you, H, I'm so happy for you that I could burst. And maybe even a little jealous," you joked, though there was some truth to what you said. "But I guess I just...I guess I didn't expect to love you this much. And I don't—I don't know what to do because you're going soon and I'm..."

You had no clue, and that alone was terrifying.

At the start of all this, you never imagined falling in love with Harry. He drove you absolutely insane, and despite your physical attraction to him, you kept your distance. But he kept doing these things that made you like him, and eventually care about him, and finally made you fall in love with him. It just wasn't something you saw coming. Love was definitely not on the brain when you met Harry.

Because you knew this moment was inevitable. The moment when one of you would be given an opportunity you couldn't refuse and would pull you away from each other. Once upon a time, you thought you would be given your dream job of a lifetime—competitive skating and hopefully the Olympics—but somewhere down the line, skating stopped bringing you joy, only pressure and anxiety. And now Harry had his dream job on the other side of the country, and you were left to flounder and wonder how you would survive waking up without him next to you.

"You're making it seem like it's a bad thing that you're in love with me," Harry said quietly, but the low tone of his voice didn't hide anything. You knew he was getting upset. After all the avoidance the last week—on your part—yours and his emotions were coming to a head.

"It's not! It's just that you're leaving!" you said, resisting the urge to run a frustrated hand through your hair. "And all week you've talked about how excited to get out of here and leave this all behind and start a new chapter in your life. I mean, would it kill you to act like you're a little torn up about leaving?"

It was so selfish, and you knew it was. It was why you'd been avoiding Harry, this conversation. Harry had every right to be proud and ecstatic for leaving to play in the professional league. He worked so hard, pushed himself farther than anyone you'd ever met, except for maybe you. Your pain was clouding your good sense, and now you'd shown just how horrible you could really be.

You couldn't look him in the eye after saying what you did. Even if it was how you felt, you still felt ashamed for raining on Harry's parade. "Y/n—" he tried to say when you hastily wiped a tear from your eye.

"I shouldn't have said anything. I'm sorry," you said, getting up from the couch and scurrying off to your bedroom.

Flopping on the bed, you pulled the covers over you, trying to hide from everything happening around you. It was too much. Your senior year was supposed to be fun and full of unforgettable memories, not arguments and heartache.

You weren't sure how much time had passed before the door opened and Harry slipped inside. He slid into bed next to you, and you didn't fight it when he rested his face in the crook of your neck. Because despite everything you were feeling, this was all you really needed.

"I'm not leaving you behind," he murmured gently. "You mean too much to me."

You sniffled, and Harry pulled you closer to his chest. "You're going to be thousands of miles away."

"Says who?" he said, kissing your cheek. "Who says you aren't coming with me?"

"And do what?" you huffed, even though the thought slightly lifted your spirits. "Be one of your...puck whatevers and follow you around like a puppy? I need a life of my own too."

You were being stubborn and argumentative and you both knew it. There was some relief in knowing Harry wanted you with him, but you also didn't want to just move because Harry was. You needed purpose, you needed to feel like your life had some sort of direction in it. But it was unfair to put all of that on Harry, and you didn't know how to express how you felt without sounding insane, so instead you said nothing, and that obviously went over brilliantly.

Harry chuckled. "See, because you just said how in love you are with me, I can tell that you're frosty attitude is just an act. Now turn over and look at me."

You reluctantly turned over, brow furrowed exaggeratedly because you couldn't cross your arms over your chest. It used to infuriate you how easily Harry could get under your skin because he knew you so well, that he knew just what to do or say to pull you out of a bad mood. In this moment, you were thankful. He could see past all the harsh words and see to the root of the problem. You'd said some things that were perhaps out of order, but Harry understood. Despite everything, he understood.

"You've worked just as hard as me, Y/n. I want to be there for you the way you've been for me. You can achieve your goals too."

"I just...I don't know if I want to achieve them anymore," you said quietly.

It was the first time you'd said it out loud. Since you'd learned to skate, there had only been one goal: the Olympics. Getting there wasn't just a matter of training, it was about devoting your life to your craft, it was barely having a life outside of training and competitions and giving all your time to winning. And after spending nearly your entire life doing it, you felt yourself slowly burning out. You'd go through your routines flawlessly, but your heart wasn't in it. All you could think about was the future—the next competition, the next training session, the next qualifier. It took seeing Harry so happy about being drafted to the minor leagues to realize the fire had gone out in you. Thinking of Olympic qualifiers and training and affording coaches and costumes and picking the right music only filled you with dread when you should've felt joy.

"Oh."

"But I don't know who I am if I don't have skating."

"You don't have to compete to skate, you know," Harry said. He rested his hand against your cheek, rubbing his thumb along your temple lightly. "You can c—"

"Oh God, don't say coach," you groaned. "It's perfect. You'll be a hockey superstar and I'll be the washed-up figure skater who couldn't handle the pressure of being an athlete and wound up coaching instead."

"I know you're being like this because you're scared, and that's okay," he said. "But I'll help you find a new dream, Y/n. I promise."

You had to blink away tears because your heart couldn't take how much he cared about you. "Even when I've been a complete bitch?"

"You haven't been. I'm sorry if you felt like I was leaving you behind. I guess in my mind we would always be together, no matter where we ended up."

"God I hate how much I love you sometimes," you grumbled while flinging yourself on top of Harry and holding him tight. "It's too much, you're too much, and I can't stand it—"

"There's a compliment in there somewhere, right?" Harry asked, but you could hear the grin in his voice.

Sitting up, you perched yourself on him, your legs straddling his waist. Dipping down, you made sure your noses were brushing, but you didn't close the distance. Not yet. Your heart was racing simply because Harry had been so kind to you, because he knew you so well and said exactly what you needed to hear. It felt ridiculous to know that there was a time when he pissed you off so much you saw red, that his teasing remarks and cocky grin grated on your nerves. Now you didn't want to imagine a life without him.

"I'm sorry for saying all of those things," you murmured. "I really am proud of you. No one deserves this more than you do."

Harry's hand reached up and threaded through your hair, his fingers gentle as they passed over your scalp. "I know you are. And I mean it, Y/n. I'll help you. I know you love to skate, we just have to find a way to channel that into something else. If not coaching, maybe performing?"

"What? Like Disney on Ice?" you asked skeptically, your nose wrinkling at the thought.

Harry shrugged as his hand dipped beneath your shirt to stroke your back. "You'd be a cute princess."

"With my luck, they'd make me a tree."

"Then you'd be the cutest tree there ever was."

Shaking your head, you nudged your nose against his again. "Can we hit pause on talking about the future? I just want to be with you here. Right now."

"Course," Harry said, one corner of his mouth turning up into a crooked grin. "And then maybe we can circle back to you being my puck whatever."

"Shut up."

"Make me!"

And that was something you knew how to do better than your skating routine.

#harry styles #hockey player!harry styles #ice skater!y/n #harry styles blurb #harry styles x reader #harry styles fanfic #harry styles oneshot #harry styles imagine #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles x you #harry styles fluff #harry styles writing #harry styles one shot #harry styles fic #hockeyrry

[animehideout]

Hiiiii !!!

Do you think you could do a part 2 of the insecure reader with suguru and any other character u feel like writing for ???

Maybe something w a reader who had a past w s3lf h4rm?? If this makes u uncomfortable I totally understand and u don’t have to write it!!

Tysm have a nice day/night :)

Insecure Reader X Geto Suguru Finding Out

check out part 1 here

a/n: Thank you Anon for your request ♡⁠˖. This one turned out a bit long, kinda like a oneshot so I didn't include other characters, but there will be a part 3, since someone requested Choso/ Megumi / Sukuna. I'll be posting them soon.

P.S: For anyone who didn't see their requests posted, it's because I'm still working on them <3

TW: Mention of Self-harm, Depression, Negative body image.

Despite multiple pleas from family and close friends to open up, find happiness, and lead a better life without hiding, they still don't know that stepping out of your comfort zone means exposing the harm you've inflicted on your body as a way to punish yourself for simply being you.

But love works in mysterious ways, and has a way of transforming people, and now, every day, you find yourself making an effort for Geto Suguru—the man who turned your world upside down and indirectly encouraged you to embrace your true self. The happiest day of your life was when he asked you out on a date, making you feel worthy of love and care.

He always treated you with sweetness, but a sense of guilt lingered for hiding a big part of your life from him. Maybe it's because you chose to bury your past and start fresh, or maybe because of your insecurities, that prevented you from being authentic in front of him.

Tonight marked a special occasion as he would meet your family for the first time, anticipating a familial yet fancy dinner. He thought it'd be a great idea if both of you matched in color—black. So, he took you shopping to get a suit for himself and find the perfect dress for you.

The moment you'd been avoiding arrived, and you found yourself in a revealing short black dress he had chosen. Standing in front of the mirror in the changing cabinet, your eyes scanned your body, fixated on each scar from your past. Vulnerable emotions surged, and you gulped back the urge to cry.

"He'll hate me.." you whispered to yourself.

Not only would he be shocked by your appearance, but your family as well. At least, that's what you thought, as no one knew about your self-harm. It was a tough decision to make—whether to put back your clothes and continue concealing yourself from him or to walk out in that dress, letting everything unfold. You were prepared to accept whatever he would say, whether he chose to break up with you or accept you.

You clenched your fists, scared of his reaction, but you knew it was time to reveal the truth. The truth always surfaces, and if he doesn't see your scars today, he'll discover them eventually,when both of you have your first time. Pushing yourself out of the changing cabinet, you took a deep breath. The air hitched in your throat as your laid eyes on your boyfriend, who was already in the company of a stunning woman with a perfect figure and smooth skin,.. hugging him. The timing couldn't have been worse, especially as you were already having an internal breakdown and crisis from how the dress exposed one of your deep secrets.

Standing still, the weight of the moment hit you— not only would he see you like this, but also the woman who was hugging him. It felt like someone had struck a sensitive nerve in your mind, shifting elsewhere full of negativity. Trust issues resurfaced, fueling self-hatred within you, expecting both of them to judge you or maybe laugh at you..and Geto ditching you for her.

"Oh baby, you're here...Mei Mei this is my partner Y/n, Y/n this is my colleague Mei Mei" he started when he saw you.

You forced a smile to not come out as rude or jealous. Blinking away your tears, your trembling hands awkwardly trying to hide your scars, forcefully tugging on your dress. You noticed the way Mei Mei scanned you head to toe, your mind telling you that she's judging even though she wasn't.

"See ya Mei Mei, say Hi to your brother" said Geto waving her a goodbye,

And then approached you with a smile that quickly dropped. " b-baby?!" he started his heart pounding when his eyes fell in your scars "w-who did this to you?" he asked.

His question felt like a poisoned arrow that was aimed at your chest .You looked down, mind racing with unwelcomed ideas "maybe it's the end, I've never deserved him anyway" you thought to yourself.

"baby answer me!" he asked again and reached to hold your hand but you flinched away

" I -I did" you confessed,

and ran to the changing room to quickly strip out of the dress before Geto gets to catch you. But it was too late, you didn't even get to lock the door when he got inside joining you and locked the door behind him, traping both of you inside the cabinet. You expected him to yell at you,to voice his frustration and anger but you were left speechless when he pulled you into a his chest, engulfing you in his big arms, whispering,

"I'm sorry"

"why?" your voice cracked, thinking that it might be his way to break up with you but nicely.

"Because I wasn't there for you" he muttered into your hair.

"It was years ago Suguru..."

he pulled back, his thumbs wiping your tears away, looking at you with admiration yet with a broken heart.

"why baby why? tell me everything"

Both of you sat on the cold floor, his arms still around your shaking form.

"It was the only way to cope with my reality– b-because I've never liked the way I am. Everyone around me was trying to compliment me, but I've always taken it as a pity not a truth. My mind just couldn't accept it, so hurting myself was the only refuge to make me feel alive, to punish myself–",

you couldn't even finish the sentence, it was too overwhelming for you, to open a wound that you've been miserably attempting to heal.

"And you thought I'd leave you? You thought I wouldn't accept you?...Look at me my love, You're too precious to deal with all of this. You are important and worth fighting for. I'll fight the whole world if it means getting to be by your side forever. I'm here to protect you and what we have between us is a safe place for both of us. Dont harm yourself anymore, I won't let you do it again... Together we will find a healthier way to deal with your unhealed side. A way far away from harming yourself, okay?".

"What about these Suguru? what's gonna heal them?"

"You're beautiful the way you are! Even though it was a wrong way to cope with what you've been through, but still they're a reminder that you're strong for fighting and surviving till this day. I promise I'll plant a kiss on each scar everyday"

"What about my family...they don't know and I'm sca–"

"You'll wear this dress tonight, and no one has the right to judge you, be who you are, raise your head up and be proud of being you. And by the way, the dress is hugging your body perfectly.. damn you're turning me on–Yes just like that baby... Smile. Oh how I love that sweet smile of yours" He giggled leaning in for a kiss.

"Now roll that dress up a bit" he added

"But Suguru we're in public what if we get caught"

"Didn't I tell you that I love the thrill, but I promise I'll be quick, love. I just want to make sure that you know how beautiful and attractive you are both inside and out...let me treat you well.."

💌✨ Dear readers, remember you are beautiful inside and out, you are worth it and you are deserving of all the love and happiness. I want you to know that you're not alone. I know that overcoming the daily struggles, the negative feelings, the insecurities and self-harm is a challenging journey. Healing takes time but each step you take towards recovering is a great Triumph, so be proud of who you are. Remember that it's okay to ask for help your past doesn't define you and the journey towards self-love is worth every effort. I love you all ✨💌

#jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen masterlist #jujutsu kaisen headcanons #jujutsu kaisen imagines #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk smut #jjk angst #geto suguru headcanons #geto suguru x reader #geto x reader #jjk geto #geto suguru #geto smut #geto x you #geto x y/n #suguru geto smut #geto angst #geto suguru smut #geto suguru angst #suguru geto angst #geto suguru x you #geto oneshot #suguru smut #suguru angst #suguru x reader #jjk geto suguru #suguru x you #jjk geto smut #getou suguru x reader #jjk comfort

[hilkaro]

I've played through the DLC for TPoF countless times. Eventually, after some time, I unlocked an achievement I had no idea existed - called Real Simp. I completely forgot about it, but when I wanted to play the game again next time, alongside the memelord mode, another one called Simp Mode appeared. I turned it on, and OH MY GOD, IT COMPLETELY CHANGES THE GAMEPLAY! I don't know about other characters, but with Fox, everything is better.

At the beginning, of course, there's the auction where you beg the announcer to take you every time you have the chance. Then you wake up in a bunker, and that's when the real rollercoaster begins. From my experience, I can immediately say that Chat doesn't matter at all, only Fox's points matter. I'll give you a brief walkthrough in case you haven't unlocked it yet.

Warning: spoilers ahead!

You wake up in the bunker, it's dark, you're tied up. You make noise and catch Fox's attention. Nothing changes here, but your thought process is… significantly different. Someone is in front of me. I focus my gaze and see my favorite beastkin. He looks great, only he wears a mask covering his handsome facial features. Too bad, a great pity.

Fox asks how you feel and if you remember anything. You get several options, including a new one to click on: I meant your bedroom. This leads to a dialogue: You: (sigh), I don't want to be rude, I really appreciate that you fulfilled my request and took me, but I meant your bedroom more than this musty basement. He is silent for a moment, looking at you, then bursts into laughter.

It's the standard text about not worrying because you made the choice to be his co- star. You look around, see cameras, he says no one has ever asked to go with him before. Then you notice the lingerie he chose for you, praise it, and he's happy, standard. For a while, nothing changes; you choose the option to Stay quiet, then Put it back. Fox turns to the cameras and talks to Chat.

This wasn't what I expected from our first night. I'm a little disappointed, you think bitterly.

Let's move on to the foot and there's a slight difference here. Fox: She's gotten nice and wet… What do you think Chat? You (smiling weakly): I'm nice and wet, not only there But Fox rudely interrupts you by sticking his finger into your wound.

Still nothing changes. When you get a choice, you click on Beg him to stop. He cuts you with a knife until you bleed, you cry, standard. At WoundFucker's request, Fox starts choking you, but before you choose the Please, I don't want to die option. He chokes you with a cable until you pass out, then he smashes your face on the concrete, great.

The next game is a gun blowjob and here you have to click Obey confidently, because this time Fox forgot to do the poll. So you do your thing, looking deep into his eyes, he touches himself , nice time. Everyone is impressed by your skills, so you survive, but it's not over yet, because the icing on the cake awaits you. AND THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT. Once Fox holds your poor eyelids, a new narrative emerges. I know well what will happen next…. And you can select the Open Mouth option, but it only lasts for a few seconds, so you have to be quick. Once you manage to click it, this appears: I open my mouth and stick out my tongue. He must be surprised by my reaction, because the grip of his claws on my head weakens and I manage to squeeze my eyes shut at the last moment, just before his cum lands all over my face and hair. But not in DAMN EYE! Fox is a bit surprised, ends the stream and you pass out from blood loss.

You wake up in a cell. He speaks to you with ordinary words. You look around and express the hope that now that you've performed so well, Fox will finally take you to his home. He just laughs and states that you now work for him. He's about to leave when you stop him and choose the option: Please stay, I don't want to be alone. Fox tilts his head, with a half-smile, remains silent for a moment, and exits without a word.

Then, you sit in the cell and contemplate. All narratives about the eye are, of course, omitted. You worry that perhaps you didn't try hard enough, considering Ren didn't want to take you home. Since you care so much about him, you decide to give it your all the next time you see each other.

Finally, they come to you. You dress up in a sexy mesh outfit and decide firmly that you'll survive this stream too. When given the option, you choose: Please go easy on me, and Fox likes it. He's about to start when someone asks: What happened to her? And Fox tells and shows everything. Fortunately, your eye is intact.

You move on to the soldering game, and when he asks you, you confidently reply that it's a soldering gun. You're not stupid, duh. Fox burns a heart on your back, and when he shows it on the camera, you comment aloud: You: Wow, it looks great, much better than a tattoo. Fox: I'm glad I fit into your tastes, darling.

Then you let him set up your arm without any protests, standard.

And the sex scene. Not much changes here except when Ren wants to put a tentacle dildo in your mouth, you have a time-limited chance to click: Open your mouth. Probably just to score points with Fox. Of course, while you're at it, you're pushing against him with all your might, in fact, you've been dreaming about him fucking you. It's a bit shame to be in front of the camera and with that collar with needles, but you don't complain, you take what they give you.

After everything, perhaps the biggest change. Because there's no longer an eye operation. Instead, there's a game with a nail gun for questions and answers. The first question is, of course, about Fox's name, and here, a window appears WHERE YOU CAN TYPE YOUR OWN ANSWER! There's no other option; you type REN HANA, all in capital letters, because you're so excited to finally let it out at this moment. He looks at you carefully, averts his gaze, and… shoots!! Shocking. Here, I think there may be several reasons for doing so. Firstly, theoretically,you don't have the right to know his name as MC, and maybe it unsettled him, put him on high alert or something. Or it could be an option that it was a warning shot. Ren didn't want to reveal his identity to Chat. Generally, the matter is a bit strange because if you answer all the questions correctly, he shoots a nail into the middle of our forehead, killing you. Okay. Some sample questions: What is today's date?, Whose father is my most loyal patron? And the question about the last letter of the alphabet, but it's time-limited. If you answer this incorrectly, Fox mocks you. After this wonderful game, you are forced to remove the nail from your body, which is quite painful but concludes the second show. You lose consciousness.

You have various dreams, when a touch wakes you up. Fox strokes your head. The beginning of the conversation is the same, there are no texts about the eye prosthesis because you have that eye. You ask: Why are you helping me? He explains that Chat loves you, but it is picky, and you may not survive for long. You relax and gaze at him, and he points out that it's not very polite. You ask, Who did this to you? He responds in the usual way. But your reaction is different. You: Are you sure? Fox: About what? You: That if it weren't for that person, you would be in exactly the same place doing exactly the same thing as now? Fox measures you with a probing look from half-closed lids and says it's time for him. Then you have the option to click: Hug him. You do it, and he looks at you surprised. You ask him not to leave yet because you don't want to be alone. He also lightly hugs you and strokes your head. After some time, you drift away.

And the ending. THE BEST.

You wake up in a bright room. Apparently, someone's bedroom. You feel an electric collar around your neck. Fox appears, wrapped only in a towel, wet hair, bangs falling on his forehead. He pins you to the wall, his eyes glowing, and says: I decided to keep you for myself. You're mine.

#shitpost #it's not real guys #just my imagination #i need to stop #im sorry #the price of flesh #tpof announcer #tpof fox #tpof ren #ren hana x reader #long reads #visual novel

[nkn0va]

Bit of a sad one: Mituru, Yukari, and Fuuka comforting Minako's S/O after the end of Persona 3.

God damn it, toku, I was doing so well with my depression before now lmao

-After you all see Minako one last time at graduation day, you decide to move out of the dorms. It simply brought too much pain being there now.

-Mitsuru had to move out too due to graduating, but she soon hears from everyone else still there that you had moved out too despite not having graduated yet.

-She's rather confused at first but after a few seconds it clicks in her head. It was where you'd met Minako, shared so many memories with her.

-Using her position, it's not hard for Mitsuru to find your address. Your parent(s)/guardian(s) recognize her, naturally and gladly let her in, telling her you've been locking yourself in your room much more than usual.

-She knocks gently on your door before asking to come in. Recognizing who it is you let her. Her eyes immediately soften upon seeing you. You had...well, you'd definitely seen better days, to put it politely.

-Your eyes were red from crying and sunken from not being able to sleep, your hair was a mess, and your room in general was starting to look closer to Junpei's than she would've liked.

-It immediately sets in just how delicate of a situation this truly is. Mitsuru gently, and with some hesitation takes a seat next to you on your bed, settling a hand on your shoulder.

-Minako was incredibly important to her too and she feels bad enough as it is. She can't imagine just how awful you have it as her S/O.

-Her words are soft and gentle, trying to come up with anything that could help soothe the pain deep in the depths of your soul. Minako knew what she was doing when she sacrificed herself, she did it for the good of the world, and so that the people she loved could live their lives to the fullest, even if it was without her.

-She's confident in saying you of all people were at the forefront of her mind when she made her choice, that it was for you more than anybody else. You shouldn't take the gift she'd given you for granted, and do what you wish to do with the time you have.

-She says she's had an idea. a way to honor what Minako did, to continue the work of S.E.E.S where she'd left off, and she'd really appreciate it if you'd join, and she's certain Minako would as well. Having said everything she wanted to say, she takes her leave and gives you some privacy and space to mull over everything she's told you, letting you know that now matter how busy she is, she'll be free to talk anytime.

-Yukari notices a rather drastic change in you after Mitsuru and Akihiko's graduation. You're a lot more melancholy in mood overall and far less talkative.

-Hell, she barely even sees you. You spend most of your time in Minako's dorm nowadays, only coming out to eat and use the bathroom. If you're a guy she'd normally be the first to chase you out of a girl's dorm, but considering the circumstances she doesn't have the heart to do it.

-Eventually she's had enough of this. She enters the room herself and stops in her tracks. If she were to say honestly you looked awful. Thankfully she had the tact to not actually say that to your face.

-Yukari doesn't really know what to do to comfort someone grieving over their dead girlfriend, so she decides to keep it honest.

-She's pretty fed up wit seeing you like this, she'll say that much to you. This wasn't what Minako died for, for you to mope about in regret and not get over a decision that she made for herself.

-If this was really how you wanted to spend your time, then you weren't making the best of your life, and by extension you weren't honoring what Minako wanted you and everyone else to do, to make the most out of the gift of life they were lucky to have.

-Yukari's words are a bit on the harsher side, but it's a much needed wake-up slap. You realize she's right, Minako didn't die so you could spend the rest of your days moping about.

-With a deep sigh, you take your first real steps out of Minako's dorm in a while, much to Yukari's satisfaction. You're now on the first real steps to recovery.

-It's not going to be an easy road, and probably one you'll never fully complete in your lifetime, but she'll be there with you every step of the way, even if she isn't Minako.

-After the graduation event at Gekkoukan, Fuuka started seeing you far less than before. You'd avoid everyone in class after the new year started, barely talked, and as soon as school was over you'd head straight back to your dorm.

-Of course even for her it was easy to understand. Minako was your girlfriend. She'd meant more to you than she did to everyone else, realistically speaking.

-That being said, she really hated seeing you like this. It reminded her all too much of herself before she joined S.E.E.S. She didn't know what, but she had to do something.

-Just from the way she knocked on the door gently and shyly, you immediately knew who it was, telling her to come in. You didn't have the heart to chase her away.

-Honestly Fuuka hadn't thought she'd get this far, so she doesn't really know what to do. Once she opens the door she sees you laying down in your bed looking at something on your phone.

-Taking a quick peek at the screen she's met with a picture of you and Minako together, smiling without a care in the world. You seemed to be going through the seemingly hundreds of pictures of you two together, and there was no mistaking the tear tracks on your face.

-Fuuka was never really the best with words, but she knew she had to at least try. The best she had was to speak honestly about the situation.

-She gets how you feel, she really does. Minako was the one to give her the confidence she does now. Losing someone who did so much for you wasn't easy on either of you, or anyone else on the team.

-Fuuka didn't want you to fall into the same old habits she did. Instead of mourning over the fact she's gone while you waste your life away, she encourages you to instead remember the good times you had, those better days together where just being with her was enough to put a smile on your face and lift your spirits.

-It's a simple message, but you can feel how heartfelt and earnest she says this all with, and you figure she as a point. Minako wanted you to be happy, even if she wasn't there with you anymore. You should go do what you wanted to do with her, knowing she'd be there to watch you all the way.

-Fuuka's just glad she was able to do at least something for you. Maybe by doing this she repaid the debt she felt she owed to Minako in cheering up her S/O, at least a little bit.

#persona 3 x reader #persona 3 headcanons #mitsuru kirijo #yukari takeba #fuuka yamagishi #minako arisato #comfort

[freevoidman]

The Pros and Cons of Silent Hill: Ascension

Hey there! Are you planning on sitting through Silent Hill Ascension, either because you're excited, want to build up hype/support for further Silent Hill projects, or maybe you're curious about what new shit show Konami's cooked up? Well, I've sat through the first two days, and let this post be a quick run-through on the good, the bad, and the very, very ugly about Silent Hill: Ascension!

Pros:

There's honestly very little, but I'll run through them nonetheless.

Voice Acting is, right now, okay. Some actors are clearly better than others. I have to give special shout-outs to Rachel Hernandez and Xavier Candless. They're both doing really well with their characters so far and I'm excited to hear how they'll act in more emotive scenes. Of course, we're only two days in so we'll see how that changes.

Silent Hill Ascension features minigames which average around "okay." I'll talk about it more in the 'Bad' section, but the good ones are fun little brain teasers that I find satisfying enough to solve. This is not across the board, but it's enough of a positive that I felt it okay to list.

The site is functional enough that the catch-up videos seemed to work without any hiccups (edit: so long as there isn't a livestream occurring at the same time. If you want to play catch-up 30 minutes before the new stuff is released, odds are the livestream will cut in and mess up your video). Plus, the grace period for decision making is very generous so far, ranging from a full 24 hours to multiple days, so they do give you enough time if you can't watch live.

Credit where credit is due: the monster/creature designs are genuinely well-made. You can clearly see where the budget went, and it was towards making these things look cool and be animated well enough to translate that creepy factor. While nothing is abundantly original right now (we've yet to see the flaming box head guy) I won't short-change the monster designers and animators here, they put effort into this.

There was a bit of misinformation spread around that you'd have to pay to participate. Thankfully, that's not true, you can "play" Ascension without paying a cent and I, personally, wouldn't call this a "pay-to-win" type of game with its set-up. In other words: DO NOT PAY, it's absolutely not worth it here.

Bad:

Animation quality shifts from middling to horrible. The main criticism I have for this "experimental idea" is that everything Ascension tries, the 2000s nailed long before. If you've ever seen one of those 3D straight-to-TV movies that airs on cartoon networks during the holidays, congrats, their animation is likely better and has more charm than Ascension. Characters in Ascension move stiffly, either emote too much or not enough, and lip syncing seems off no matter which language you pick. Animation in SH1 is easily better than this, so don't expect a visual spectacle.

As an addendum to this: Ascension is dark--no, not the content, it is literally hard to see. Going into a Silent Hill-adjacent media, you expect visibility to be impacted by fog. Ascension, on the other hand, skips the fog entirely and just makes everything dark. It is incredibly difficult to see anything that's happening (this includes QTEs which, hoo boy! look at the next segment for that). I don't want to be cynical, but I truly do believe that part of the reason why is to cover up the stiff animation. Until Dawn and other Dark Anthology games had some moments of animation weirdness, but Silent Hill Ascension is easily worse than that on a pure technical level.

App and website responsivity is baaad. Minigames are designed for both platforms with zero differences, but this means some minigames are better on desktop than on mobile and vice versa. Two minigames stand out as particularly mixed/bad: a find-the-object game and a guitar minigame. The find-the-object game was better on desktop because your hovering cursor could find clickable areas more easily than on mobile. The guitar minigame was just bad--it wasn't a rhythm game, it was a game where you had to click finger positions for chords on the guitar strings and, my god, it played horribly no matter which platform I picked (though mobile was noticeably worse) and actually hurt my ears.

As an addendum to that, the live QTE events (yes that's a thing) ALSO suffer from this lack of responsivity, with more destructive results. Live participants were abruptly thrust into QTEs with no warning, no tutorials, and no preparation. There were 4 types of QTEs: a quick button press, a hold-release button, a rapid-tap, and a quick swipe. Of these, only the hold-release and rapid-tap worked regularly. The quick press barely responded, and the swipe indicator is practically hidden due to it being borderline invisible.* While you can try the minigames over and over as much as you want, the QTEs are limited to the live showings and cannot be "replayed." In addition, they have been heavily implied to be a major determining factor as to whether or not characters survive, so if every character's fate is based on successful QTEs, every character is going to die in this show, no matter what you do. This is why I said it's not pay-to-win, you can't pay your way through live QTEs, and this set-up feeds into the unsatisfactory system the entire "game" perpetuates. Even if YOU do well, decisions are based on the community, so if they fail, tough nugs.

The story isn't shaping up to be anything remarkable. There's no major hook in the opening scene and even less of a hook for the three scenes that followed. I'm not intrigued by the "horror" being shown, the way this is being shot and told is more confusing than anything else and, while there are some 'good' actors in this, a majority of them are bad and lack any hutzpah to sell the continued experience. I'm going to hold out for the end of the week, when the first "episode" is done airing, but if nothing hooks me I'm not going to continue.

Ugly:

The "Battlepass." Oh dear god the Battlepass. By paying $20, you can get more "influence points," which you can use to determine actions in this game. You also get exclusive little emote stickers for the live chat (oof) that are, at best, a cringey nightmare and, at worst, absolutely stupid and useless. You also get accessories for your avatar (did I mention there's an avatar? it's so pointless I don't even know WHERE to put that tidbit). Why is this even here? You already have freemium options where you can buy influence points, what does a battlepass add?

The "live chat" just shouldn't be there. I'm sorry, it shouldn't. You can already see the community casting votes and helping with QTEs, having a live chat that is barely moderated with hundreds of thousands of people signing on at 9 to watch the stupidity unfold is a bad idea. It also contributes to the stupidity of the Battlepass system--I don't want emotes, I don't want a 3D avatar that can appear in the show if I give enough points--so nix the whole thing. EDIT 11/1/2023: I kinda got my wish! After the amazing lack of moderation on launch, they've either temporarily OR permanently disabled the live chat! Unfortunately, the video's dimensions to compensate FOR live chat have not been altered, so there's a big gap of black negative space where it should be. People can only reply with the dumb stickers the devs have shoved into this, BUT if you have the battlepass, you can apparently type messages! Ironically, this retroactively gives the battle pass an actual fucking purpose since it gives you a privilege, and the stickers serve a purpose since they're the only way for non-battlepassers to communicate in live chat. Fucking brilliant, they've stumbled backwards into an unintentional solution. EDIT 11/4/2023: Genvid's CEO, Jacob Navok, has made various claims on twitter that of course they tested they tested their AI moderation for basic slurs, it's just that the system got overwhelmed by day 1 traffic. Well, I absolutely DON'T believe that (the testing, not the overwhelmed thing, connection and stability were terrible day 1) seeing as people are getting around not being able to TYPE swearing and horrific racial slurs into chat by simply making their usernames swears and slurs without any letter substitution (a la leetspeak). Here is a link to a video of someone who was streaming Ascension and had the chat open, only to see have someone with the user name "Fuck_[n-word]s" in chat (I'm not typing the actual slur fuck that). When he goes to try and flag the user, he is given no ability to report the username. So, yeah, even if you see some incredibly racist/bigoted shit, you can't flag the user and report them to, y'know, assist with the absolutely real robot-powered moderation that totally exists! If there was the most BASIC moderation in the world to catch english swears and slurs, that username would not have been permitted under any circumstances, so I fully do not believe this fucker.

The decisions themselves shouldn't have labels. What I mean by that is that, so far, every option has three possible options. These options are labelled under three categories: redemption, suffering, and damnation. In other words, the watcher can literally see the paths leading towards the "good, neutral, and bad" endings for Ascension. This shouldn't be a thing, period, because it immediately introduces biases into your choices. Every option so far has been massively skewed towards the "redemption" path because people aren't blind, they can see the "good" ending on the horizon, and they want to go for it. The worst part is, the options on their on aren't explicitly good or bad, so if they got rid of that labeling it'd still work. idk, it just feels stupid. (NOTE: day 2 introduced ONE choice that doesn't have this same labeling system. No clue if that's a bug or if there are going to be decisions that don't have a label. Even then, it seems like a small decision in the overall scheme of things, so... :shrug:)

Yes, the decisions are permanent, thus denying you the ability to see 2/3s of whatever Genvids has worked on. I just think that's dumb and, though many in the community have criticized this already, it feels even dumber when watching the show play out live. There's no way that the money Ascension could possibly make would subsidize the effort put into this if you're effectively nixing 2/3s of anything you can see (and it does seem like major alterations to the characters and their routes so far, nothing minor, so... yeah, you're missing out on a LOT). This also means that because of the audience effectively being enticed to pick the clearly labelled "good path," if you put any effort into a different choice, odds are you wasted your time with minigames for the day. This means Ascension is set up to be as unsatisfying as possible for individuals, and only satiates half of the community engaging with it. There is no way this is going to last the entire scheduled 6 months this is intended to run for if this is the system they're operating under.

In conclusion: give this one a pass. If you're really curious, you can watch now and get a good idea of its future quality. This isn't remarkable at all and looks more like a time sink than anything "fun."

I still don't understand why this isn't a video game, other than Konami hoping some suckers will pay for the influence packs and get them more money than a $60 one-time-purchase. Quantic Dreams and Supermassive "Dark Anthology" games are really fun and well-liked because of the CYA angle they take. This could've made a decent amount of money if it were just, y'know, a normal game.

*MINOR EDIT: tested the QTEs on desktop instead of mobile and they were better overall: prompts respond easily to mouse clicks and aren't nearly as invisible on my phone screen compared to my desktop. If you are REALLY interested in trying it live and getting a feel of the "authentic, live experience", I'd recommend accessing the site on desktop over downloading a mobile app.

EDIT 11/2/2023

Yeah I know I keep editing this honestly BUT I do have a big-ass critique I just noticed relating, again, to the minigames.

Here is a screenshot of the rewards you can receive for your performance with the minigames. You are rated on a scale of 1-3 stars, with a failure being 0 stars. In return for your performance, you gain "Interactive Points" and EXP. Tell me, after looking at this screenshot, what the problem with these rewards might be:

Do you see it? Well, if you don't, let me point it out to you.

THE AMOUNT OF INTERACTIVE POINTS YOU RECEIVE, THE CURRENCY YOU USE TO ACTUALLY MAKE DECISIONS AND PROPERLY CONTRIBUTE TO THE STORY, GOES DOWN IF YOU DO WELL AT THE MINIGAMES. THE GAME ACTIVELY PUNISHES YOU FOR PLAYING WELL.***

100 interactive points, by the way, is not enough to vote on a decision! You need 200 minimum. You also cannot repeatedly play the minigames to farm IP or EXP so, once you get two stars, you can't get the rewards for three or vice versa. And remember, if you're not a battlepasser, you only get two of these minigames per day.

Why on earth is it scaled this way? The difference between two stars and three stars is the exact same, why does it not increase when you do the minigames well? 100 for one star, 200 for two, 300 for three, it's so god damn easy AND you can still keep the scummy interactive point packages they sell!

But, I here you asking, what does the EXP do? Well, ignoring that a 10 EXP difference is exceeding minimal, EXP gives you... nothing!

Yeah, not even kidding with this one. There does seem to be a leveling system attached to your profile, but I cannot see a single thing connecting it to rewards (which are across the board useless), giving you a power boost with your voting, or just giving you perks. As far as I'm aware, EXP doesn't grant you a god damn thing, and that's the only increased reward from doing well.

***CORRECTION (because nothing in my life can ever be simple): the minigames DO reward you better than the screenshot above. Just did today's minigames and I got 330 IP from a 2 star ranking. However, if that's the case, I GENUINELY do not understand why this is labelled incorrectly? This doesn't even add up correctly (the 1 star + 2 star ranking should equal 300, NOT 330).

So, at best, the site is poor at labelling things (which wouldn't surprise me, the UI is a mess most days on this) OR my view of the site/rewards are bugged! Who fuckin' knows at this point. Sorry for the long rant y'all but honestly? Considering I only noticed the labelling earlier today and couldn't test this until the reset happened, I could only go off the labelled point system above.

I WILL say that tonight was the first night the community succeeded at the endurance scenes! I'd be happier about that if the game itself gave a shit, because apparently, what we do does not matter (as this game seems rapt with telling us)

Yes folks, despite the community succeeding two (2!) of these long ass, repetitive QTE events, for some fucking reason, Karl's hope went down further! This is, again, despite the fact that the community AT LARGE succeeded for the first time since the premiere date, but we still lost! Fucking how.

#silent hill #silent hill ascension #went in with low expectations #ended up tripping over the bar on the floor #edited as of 11/2/2023 to include more stuff #because man they are continuing to absolutely fail at this

[heresthestorymorningglory]

Alright, now that Part 4 of Under Your Spell is posted; I just have to let the internet know a thing (because obviously if it's not on the internet it's not true)

But you. @ken-dom, my long lost twin, the sister I'm convinced I was supposed to have and never got (I have a lot of chosen sisters and you're now on that list whether you like it or not) There are not enough characters in a Tumblr text post to tell you, how. fucking. grateful. I am to have stumbled across your blog and by proxy your friendship by accident.

I started this blog 10 years ago...my life was very different then and I thought headed in a very different direction than where I ended up and I couldn't be more thankful that my life didn't turn out the way I had wanted back then. This blog was so active, and I posted very consistently, I'm not going into detail, but I wasn't in the best place then, and when I finally pulled myself out of that funk after about a year, this blog whet absolutely dormant. It went dormant because I thought I needed to be in that awful headspace to write anything good, to write at all; over the last ten yeas or so, and not for lack of trying, my love of writing while it never faded, I tried so hard to write and just couldn't, I have so many WIP pieces that will never see the light of day.

Then Barbie (just trust me) changed my life; that movie wasn't everyone's cup of tea, and I totally understand why, but for me, as an adult (and a child who had MANY Barbies and loved them) and yes I had a Ken and I loved him too.....this movie healed my inner child and my adult self in a way I can't even explain, and won't because I truly don't think anyone would understand anyway.

ANYWAY, all of that to say, it inspired me to start writing again, and while I was certain that this was going to be another failed attempt, I went for it anyway, and found Ken-dom's blog and the inspiration I needed; I've said it a thousand times, and if you follow me you've seen it, this woman's writing style is amazing, she puts so much care and time and thought into whatever she's working on and it translates into everything she does. Without her I wouldn't have had the courage to dive as deeply into writing again as I have. She introduced me to the Goosecord who are also just a wonderful bunch of people who make my life better just by being in it.

As I'm sure most of my fellow writers can understand, I get very in my head when writing a lot and doubt myself frequently. If it weren't for this group of folks (and one or two others outside) none of this would exist.

I tagged her in this (are you 🥹yet?) xD so all of that just to say thank you my fellow Goose enthusiast, you're the Healy to my Holland, the Six to my Fitz, the Driver to my reader (or vice versa) there's literally no one I'd rather be buried up to my neck in smut with and I'm coming for you in 2025 ❤️(Probably with a couple of my other chosen sisters in tow)

I'm certain I missed something but you get the idea xD

#internet friends #she's my long lost twin

[fandomwrightingontheside]

Quan Chi x Reader - My Little Love

This was a request for @theelderhazelnut

Authors note: This is a preexisting relationship fic! This is not for minors this is 18+ NSFW please be aware of that no minors are welcome to read this.

You have always been shorter than the rest of the Earthrealm champions, standing close to 5'1 you get picked on by the more childish of them. Especially, Johnny, he's the worst with the 'nicknames' that get used to make fun of you, they treat you like you're five! You just know that these stupid nicknames will come out when they tease you about everything in your life, especially your seemingly empty romantic life. You've been good at hiding your relationship with Quan Chi from everyone...Except for Raiden and Fujin. Originally you had been just using Quan Chi to prevent him from attacking Earthrealm and enslaving your friends as revenants. While Raiden and Fujin hated the idea, of you even being in Quan Chi's presence let alone with him in the Netherrealm. You did seem to have some control over the sorcerer, making him release the last of the revenants to be free and back in Earthrealm.

After everything calmed down though, Quan Chi released his undead minions without any hesitation when you had requested him to. The revenants could tell something had changed for the better since Shinnok's defeat and return to Earthrealm, none of them ever questioned you but it did take the two protectors of Earthrealm some time to trust your safety and choices about Quan Chi. You would take a couple of weeks away from Earthrealm to visit him, before going back. It was a strange relationship between you and Quan Chi but it works. The first few visits he just did not acknowledge your presence. He'd talk at you, not to you, and ignore any questions or comments you'd make. It was like talking to a brick wall. Even when standing at your full height he loomed over you like a mountain standing at 6'5 or 6'7, it didn't really matter to you. It's frustrating how easily he could just not look at you with his height alone. You've kept up your visits for months and yet it seems very little to nothing has changed, he hasn't attacked, threatened, or offered to experiment on you sure but you know that he knows Raiden and Fujin know where you are and will come if you don't return.

This most recent visit had been awful, almost a week in and he's been broody, grumpy, grouchy, moody, mean, curt, and just a downright prick. After almost a full day of visiting the sorcerer with not a single spoken word directed towards you, you huffed before getting up to leave his fortress and return to Earthrealm out of frustration. You're putting in too much effort to be treated like this, Earthrealm's champions can protect themselves. You are done being treated like a little nuisance, you'd rather deal with Johnny's teasings than this. But before you left his presence you finally said a curt 'goodbye' to him as you decided it might be best to just cut the visit short. Just like every single one before this, your relationship felt unbalanced.

It was clear that he's uninterested and yet you keep putting in effort as if that'll change his behaviour like a light switch. You feel stupid and ashamed that you keep trying. All of your training and martial arts fighting didn't do much to keep your confidence level high. But your pride and ego hurt at the realization and the blow was brutal as the pain kept aching after you returned to Earthrealm. It was as though a knot got tighter in your chest. The champions had welcomed you back with cheers and laughs like usual, except for Johnny who instantly asked the inevitable question, "Hey squirt, how was your vacation to gnome land? You bring me any knick-knacks?" Your head spun as your cheeks became flushed with annoyance. Not now...You didn't want the name-calling right after how Quan Chi treated you, you just took a deep breath and picked a pebble out of your shoe tossing it at him.

He laughed while rubbing his shoulder as if that actually hurt him, you'd made jokes about Johnny back but you know you'll say something venomous and hurtful with how upset you are. You refuse to hurt someone else because you're hurting. Walking by the people around as you went into a spare room Fujin had given you to use when he found out about your previous apartment having a lot of black mould in the walls, kitchen, and basement. He refused to let you live there and gave you the spare room with Raiden's approval. At times like this, you're extremely happy to have somewhere safe to call home, especially the food provided for you. The peaceful energy the temple has sets you at ease after issues like this. Laying down in bed, staring up at the ceiling you think. A migraine pulsing from your brain to the front of your face.

While trying to sleep you begin to blame yourself again as you normally do. Maybe you could have been friendlier, asked if he was okay or tried to figure out why he's being this way. No, no why would he even answer you when he's acting like a brick wall ignoring every syllable that leaves your lips? You shouldn't have to treat him so nice all the time either if it isn't working, right? Besides he has so many guards up he wouldn't tell you why he's upset anyway...Would it be wise to actually apologize for whatever he's feeling bad over and move on? Probably not, he could use that to his advantage and manipulate you, treat you like you're small and weak. Well, compared to him you are small, but that isn't the point. You have no real leverage. You're basically in his shadow like an insignificant gnat. A bug who's bothering him as the day goes on, not worthy of acknowledgement or respect in the eyes of the Netherrealmer. Your blood ran cold, that's exactly how Quan Chi's probably been seeing you lately.

You roll over and scream in frustration into your pillows, why did you actually have to have feelings for him of all people? Why would such a person like you fall for someone like him!? Forcing yourself to try and sleep you manage to relax despite the situation. Before long you had fallen asleep into a somewhat dreamless sleep. You've decided to not visit him again since he wants to just throw you and your relationship away like this. Your hurtful pride winning you over as you just stop yourself from trying any more. A week, another week, then two. You haven't visited in two months and nobody knew why but the champions of the tournament took no notice, glad to finally have some peace without the revenant problems.

As you hang out at the Wu Shi Academy for some alone time, Liu Kang finds you in your meditation. Sitting beside you, he clears his throat making your head rise slowly from your position. "I know something's wrong with you Liu, you rarely come to me when I'm meditating," you hum softly at the monk. He chuckles at the sound of your voice, not quite tired, not quite rested, but calm.

"Yes, well I have some questions...Girl question. About Kitana." His voice becomes a mumble at the end.

"She's an Edenian princess, she can have anything and everything she wants. Bring her something homemade or homecooked, it shows you care about her," you giggle softly not even having to look to know how flushed Liu Kang is.

"Yes, I figured that out, thanks. How am I to tell her that I truly do love her without it seeming creepy or weird...?" He shifts some, still flustered.

"That can be tricky, don't just walk up to her and say it. Also don't say it in the middle of a conversation either. It'll just happen naturally, it might take some time," you gently pat his thigh before stretching out and standing up.

"You haven't been going to the Netherrealm lately, how come?" His tone was flat, cautious.

"Mh, issues with travelling," you lie through your teeth not wanting him or anyone else to find out about you and Quan Chi's relationship. You stand by him, both of you lost in your own thoughts before the monk nods his head seemingly accepting your answer before wandering off to do his own training more than likely. The topic of conversation is dropped instantly with little effort on his part. You've stayed within your safe space to keep any questions from happening or digging further, not even the deities have brought the topic back up to you since they can tell that something was wrong when you came back so soon last time. The wind deity might be good at sensing and predicting but the thunder deity is awful at reading and picking up body language, unfortunately, Raiden still cares and tries to figure out what's causing you to become so down and distraught when they are unsure of it.

Nine months had gone by, nine whole months and nothing from him. No communication, no nothing from your demonic boyfriend...if he even was still your boyfriend. You doubted it after nine whole months, what kind of couple doesn't see each other in that time frame and still remains together? That's a healthy and normal relationship to have. You haven't attempted to contact him either and haven't wanted to go near that cursed realm for a while either. Now that you're thinking clearly about everything that's happened between the two of you it does seem like he only did anything nice to help you when it would have caused a disturbance in the time around him. Begrudgingly, you do miss him, his company, his grumpiness, everything and then some.

Stretching before your meditation begins, you've just finished training a small group of students and wanted a little alone time, you hope it would erase Quan Chi from your mind's eye. Getting yourself into a comfortable lotus-style position on the stone steps with a mat below you to keep your legs from cramping up, taking a deep breath in, holding, and out to start meditating. Allowing your mind and emotions to swirl around in your body as your vision goes dark, clearing your mind as you continue. You feel at ease, like this for what feels like days until a presence behind you, one you know, disturbs your peaceful state. Fully pulling you back from the void to wakefulness, blinking your eyes open slowly you stare ahead for a few moments as your ears burn, realizing that this isn't a dream. There was a certain sorcerer who had invaded your private time, breaking your concentration and causing irritation to bubble within you, "You've been absent for an impressive amount of time." You stand up gathering your mat and the rest of your things not looking at him once.

"Well, maybe you would have had more time with me if you'd even acknowledged my existence, treated me with actual decency, or not made me feel worthless while I was trying to be the bigger person in our relationship! All I wanted was for us to spend time together, laugh and joke but instead, I was met with such a cold shoulder. Have I ever treated you that way!?" You huffed while walking away from him. You'll deal with Quan Chi in a bit, just not near or in such a public setting.

He was silent for a few minutes just staring at your form leaving him. Finally, he follows, following your exact path until you stop just outside your quarters and you don't turn around, he towers over you like always his shadow seems to loom in front of you as you open your door and try to shut it as you quickly as possible but his hand catches the door.

"Don't run away this time, allow me a chance to speak freely before you just brush me off and shut me out of your life completely. This has been festering for long enough," his tone was firm, and his breath felt hot on your face as he held the door from shutting. His emotions seemed to have taken a complete one-eighty, being more serious but he was pleading you could hear the pained lilt in his voice. Hesitating, you stood there unmoving for a moment not wanting to look at him or give him any room.

"Why? Why should I? After all the effort I put in to get nothing in return? After you only now showing up after I stopped visiting 9 months ago? All you've done was make me feel worthless. That I'm nothing to you, but a gnat buzzing around your fortress causing a ruckus while trying to seek any sort of attention from you...Is it even a relationship with us anymore?" You weren't crying yet but you had the sense to will the tears to stay back, they were only pricking the corner of your eyes for now. Your words stung him hard, making him wish he had taken better care and had paid more attention to the situation at hand, you might have just been a small thing in comparison to him but you were the most significant thing in his life, something precious he wouldn't dare to trade or sacrifice. He'd rather suffer eternally in the Chaosrealm than lose you...even if that was far too cheesy and corny to even think about or mention out loud, it was how he felt.

He said your name softly as your grip on the door released slightly, a choked sound left you as you walked away from the door fully leaving it and allowing him to enter, you'd rather not let the monks see you crumble to tears. Quickly and quietly you sit down on the large bed you have, still refusing to look at him, tears slowly dripping down your face before he comes to sit on the bed near you. Sitting a little off the edge of the bed. He says your name again as if calling for you but you just sit there with your head in your lap. Not noticing that he's moved or what he's done. You don't know why or what had set him off to even follow you but you don't move as he brings his arm around and hugs you close, moving his nose to the side of your ear and kissing the top of your head softly, "I had no idea what came over me and it pains me to know that I had caused you to be so miserable to come to this conclusion. If you would have the mercy, to allow me the chance I would make it up to you..."

You remain quiet sniffling slightly while letting the information process through your brain. Turning, you hug him tightly burying your teary face in his neck and holding him tightly. Breathing in his scent you choke on a soft sob that's in your throat, finally having a bit of physical contact with him. You missed it and were getting angry with yourself at how much your body was just craving him as though you two were separated for ages. He seemed hesitant to touch you back before slowly embracing you, running his hand over your hair as he made an effort to soothe you and apologizing in low murmurs. He shifts himself so both his arms hold your small figure and the rest of him is off the side of the bed. Quietly sitting in the middle of your room. He feels like a gentle giant but still a menacing force as your arms squeeze him lightly. You snuggle deeper into his neck holding onto him.

"I missed you so fucking much," your words are muffled as you mutter in his neck, causing him to shudder slightly in surprise and his face become flush.

"And I missed you too..." His words were light but barely above a whisper, it was meant for only your ears.

"It'll take more than just an apology to fix this Quan Chi, I need to see an effort on your half for this to work," you speak up finally from his neck while untangling yourself to look up at the sorcerer, rubbing the tears away.

"I would rip my own flesh and rub salt into it if it meant I'd have you back in my arms, a life without you is boring, cold, and lonely, nothing fills the void," he presses his forehead to yours and squeezes the side of your hip tightly as if holding onto you for dear life, he breathes deeply as if making a pact or an agreement with himself on your behalf. A look of sheer pain and longing. As if you were never with him, not truly, and it hurt, how lonely it's been for the nine months. The numbness was an old friend returned but the love was still very present and heavy on his mind.

He remained like this while you cried and then began talking and cuddling with him. It seemed like for the next hour he listened to what you had to say about his behaviour. Every word. From the first cry to the last. Apologizing and praiseing you when the opportunity arose. Until you calmed down, having snuggled in the sorcerer's arms as you both talked about what had happened while separated. You feel more and more at ease as the hours passed and the conversation flowed effortlessly. After a while, you were lying down in bed talking to him as he began rubbing your back, every touch you would return with one to your own, shifting your position every once and a while as the two of you continued, discussing various different topics until it started to get late. Both of you were too stubborn to leave and pull yourself apart from the embrace or conversation so you made Quan Chi lay beside you in your room and under your covers. He had no real complaints or hesitation to comply with the simple request as you rolled to face the wall, getting a comfortable spooning position before you slowly nodded off. Quan Chi wasn't too far behind when it came to sleep either. His larger body wrapping around you. You were tucked into the larger frame of the necromancer.

...

Quan Chi had woken early as was expected, his instincts kicking in at the uncharacteristic warmth beside him, lifting his head up gently, a soft and unfamiliar sensation tickled at his face, tilting his head he scanned the room not quite seeing properly as his vision hadn't fully adjusted to the dim lighting around him yet. Remembrances and feelings from the past few hours rushed to the surface, and a light fluttering settled into his chest as memories began to make sense of things. Stirring slightly he pressed his face into your neck a soft groan escaping his lips as he inhaled your scent slowly as if you'd disappear and never let him hold you again. He still couldn't quite grasp the fact that you were willing to give him another chance, albeit an effort on his part. As the sorcerer nosed your hair he ran his lips slowly along your throat placing gentle kisses so as to not stir your slumber. Humming into your shoulder. You hum back slowly at the gentle touch in a dazed state of sleep, murmuring Quan Chi's name softly as if a whisper.

Quan Chi grumbled his response to the sleepy sounds you made, a smile tugging at his lips as a giddy feeling came to life in the bottom of his chest. Moving his arm slightly from around you, he tilted his body back to his side, pressing his nose into your hair again, he squeezed and massaged your shoulder softly as a lull. The hand around your body pulled at you for a half embrace while he moved himself closer to you. Kissing the crown of your head gently. It took a lot of self-control and willpower not to disturb you. With the slight movements, a question popped into his head, making him pull himself back slowly from you before flipping himself to the other side of the bed. A scowl set on his face. "What is this damn room?" he whispered harshly to nobody. You stirred as you could feel his heat disappear. Grumbling quietly and half awake you reply with an annoyed huff at your bedside.

"'S my room," you grumble as you roll to hide your face in his chest. Taking up his torso in a tired but protective and claiming manner. Tugging him close with your legs thrown around his thighs. You couldn't wait to go back to sleep even if it was before the asscrack of dawn.

Quan Chi stiffened at the embrace not sure how to react or respond with. Sure the two of you have fooled around many a time but full-on sleeping in the same bed and waking up together is a whole different experience, one he never really thought about ever really doing. In a stupor, he brings his hand to the middle of your back, feeling the softness of the cloth of your shirt. Not having said a word since you made the comment. Your room, really? This is what the two gods gave you? A tiny room that hardly fits everything in it? It must've been Raiden's doing, giving you the smallest room in the whole place. Maybe you even requested it or volunteered. Quan Chi grunts his disapproval softly. Shifting slightly to face you. You were already asleep or dozing back off in your own bliss and not paying him any mind, and for once he wished you could. This would be the worst time to ever complain. A lazy grin was painted across your features while clinging to Quan Chi. Wrapped up in the comforting embrace and radiating some strange form of energy that seemed to melt all of the sorcerer's defences and anxieties down into a gooey pile. Allowing a similar lazy grin to fall on him while returning to embrace with his head, kissing and pecking at your cheek or jaw while coaxing you back into slumber with him. His finger glides softly over your spine as the minutes tick by and you begin to fall more into the embrace. It wasn't long before Quan Chi heard a content and quiet snore coming from the sleeping woman, Quan Chi grinned wider at the realization. Soon after a series of similar snores follow him.

...

Once daylight graced the temple Quan Chi had awoken early again having fallen in and out of deep slumber and he didn't have anything planned today nor did you so this was perfect for him to continue sleeping in, or at least until the sun was a bit higher in the sky and your room wasn't so dim. He gently peels his arm from around your frame, bringing his hand to his face to rub at his eyes. Adjusting his eyesight to the brighter lighting outside of the comforts of the soft fabric, he yawned shortly after, bringing his hand down to stretch a little more while simultaneously pressing his groin against your backside in an involuntary manner. Only registering the movement slightly and groaning, he smashed his face back into your hair with his hand now wrapped back around you once again, drifting off. Only to wake again sometime later to the sound of your small yawn as the early morning sunlight still beams into your room. Quan Chi blinks sleep from his eyes before a soft chuckle shakes him. A little before 6 a.m. was an unusual time for anyone who has the option not to wake up early to even be awake. You sit up and stretch your sleep-filled limbs, letting a pleased yawn fill the room. Reaching over to give the sorcerer's forehead a little pat and a 'good morning' before climbing out of bed.

Quan Chi starts to wonder where the sudden spurt of energy or even consciousness came from at such an ungodly hour. Or even the content-fueled demeanour that you held as you climbed out of bed. A comfortable and happy sort of humming came from your mouth while rummaging through your wardrobe and pulling out your uniform. Quan Chi eyed you questioningly, sitting up to greet you with a good morning as he rested the palm of his hand on the side of his thigh before patting the spot next to him and motioning for you to sit next to him, still feeling lazy and not wanting to get up yet himself. You just turn back to your wardrobe.

"I'm usually up at five, five-thirty to meditate and take a nice brisk walk before the day starts or training sessions. I actually slept in this morning," you answer his unspoken question while preparing yourself for the morning routine before grabbing your clothing and wandering into your bathroom to change. Leaving the sorcerer with no questions left unanswered. The door shut quietly. You quickly slip out of your pyjamas to take a shower and freshen up a bit. The water is running just a few minutes after you have stripped.

While you are cleaning yourself, Quan Chi finds himself occupied. Slowly getting himself out of the bed and straightening the mess of sheets and duvet before stepping out from the warmth and comfort the soft linen had to offer. Even with the bright morning light, he could see how small the space was, he felt cramped just standing next to your bed. One dresser and closet pushed up against each other with a simple area rug with an accompanying set of curtains draped across a plain window. Everything just had the bare minimum and looked sparse to him, a few trinkets here and there and a strange cardboard box in the corner that seemingly was out of place. Quan Chi made his way over to inspect the curious object. Poking at it and inspecting it up close, careful not to knock anything out of place. Was this supposed to be storage? Why was it so curious to him? No apparent patterns or shapes, just solid, and made of just cardboard. He shakes his head softly in slight annoyance. Bringing a hand up to rub the growing ache in his brow before turning to your vanity and sitting on the chair. His eyes kept getting dragged back to that box no matter what he seemingly was looking at. On your vanity was a piece of paper that he figured might distract himself long enough until you come back from your morning routine in the bathroom. Picking it up, he inspected it and discovered it was one of many drawings. Do you like to draw in your spare time? He huffs. He honestly couldn't blame you. There along all the small drawings, a list of items. As he reads it his heart drops a bit. It's a list of all the things he's ever given you, they are in that damned cardboard box that had caught his eye so many times. Had you really tried to hide them from your sight to not have to remember everything?

He grimaced with this information. The news made him realize the situation was probably worse than he thought. His eyes dragged back to the cardboard box before standing and crossing over the space and squatting before the box. He opened the box to see how each thing was placed inside with such care that nothing would break or be damaged, and folded neatly as well. His heart aches, knowing that his gifts could probably cause you to go on an emotional rampage, and his chest tightens, the small stains on the box look like teardrops and droplets had rained upon the things as you packed them away from your sight as if scared you'd break them in your anger and sorrow. A pang hits his chest knowing what he did to you was definitely not helping, only worsening the situation and the lack of self-worth, the insecurities were pouring out of you as much as his actions were. You didn't deserve the pain he put you through. He stared long and hard at the contents for what seemed like hours but probably was more like 10 minutes. His hands were still frozen over the box in complete awe. There right on top was all the jewellery he'd gifted you, along with all the small things that would break under anything heavy-duty in storage, a smile had broken out. There was something familiar about the scent surrounding them in the box. Soft. Gentle. It was yours. Did you really treasure and appreciate these gifts? Even going so far as to wrap and keep them as though you planned on hanging onto them and would eventually put them back to use. Looking up from his lap he saw your gaze on his as if trying to gauge his next move.

"I never got rid of them, I couldn't just get rid of the gifts you gave me. So when things deteriorated to where we were when I felt your fortress for the last time, I...I just packed them away. I didn't want to break them in my own anger or sorrow over everything." You look at the ground before looking back up into his eyes. "If you weren't going to treat me like I was special, then I couldn't hold onto things that could give me the wrong signals, false hopes." You blink quickly to blink away forming tears, while looking back at the ground. "It's the only thing I can think to do at the time and made the most logical sense," you sniffle a little, swallowing down tears in your throat before finally meeting his gaze.

He could tell that was one of your fears while in his fortress of solitude.

Quan Chi abruptly gets up and makes his way over to you, pulling your body to his in a crushing and intimate embrace, taking a step to be more balanced and in a better position before tipping your chin up. Brows furrowed slightly with eyes crinkled softly at the edge as if he had realized how much pain and how truly terrible things were between the two of you for the last several months, leaning in as he looked into your tearful eyes he placed a soft but loving and passionate kiss to your forehead, releasing a slow and deep breath with it, hands slowly trailing the sides of your face, brushing stray hairs away, thumbing at your cheekbones before resting against your neck and jaw as he pulled back slightly, face soft and with a sense of urgency.

"I would love to replace these with new ones, please allow me to spend the rest of my time, efforts, and dedication to you," the words had rolled off his tongue so clunky and nervous. He rarely would utter them. They were for only special occasions or those that he intended to stick around. So, it felt foreign coming from his mouth. It's what he should have said, what he should have been doing since you came into his life, wriggling into his heart, mind, and bloodstream like a brain-eating bacteria or an unkillable parasite, invading all of his systems leaving an ache to the bones like no other. Yet now that his emotions have flooded his thoughts. He has been hit by an unexpected force and new wave that even a god or demi-god could have a difficult time swimming through. A big splash of regret and fear had doused him and now he's facing the aftermath of the emotional waterpark and his guilt was all-consuming. Quan Chi continues to gaze at your face with a strained look in his eyes and his softest smile. He sees your body relaxing and unwinding with his reassurance and the love he's showing you. A small part of him wished he had started this long ago and that he'd never been so blind before.

You'd wanted him all this time and even now despite knowing that the relationship may not go the best. He'd be patient. Give you time to heal. Time to build back trust. Time to make mistakes and get over those mistakes. He'd prove that he wanted and cared. All you've wanted was the recognition you deserved. Some love and affection were a plus and something Quan Chi could provide to help heal wounds from the past. Quan Chi needed to gain back your trust and give you a reason to feel some worth and keep building a more stable and healthy bond. In the end, all he really wanted was your companionship. Something to feel fulfilled or have something good in the hellish eternity he was doomed to serve, knowing that once this entire thing blows up in his face there will never be someone or anything that would ever be a comfort to him the way you could. Not only could you fulfil him, but you could fix him in ways he wasn't aware he needed to be repaired. There was also a strange comforting buzzing in his chest knowing that you've never given up hope that one day you would be together. The stubbornness that seemed so annoying before made him admire you, to know he didn't need to convince you because you were convinced already, no doubts could sway you. There was a chance you were actually perfect for him and to have you ripped away because of him being selfish or cruel or cold was nothing but a cruel joke by fate, a true nightmare to behold.

Quan Chi was awakened by this revelation. He loved you. He loves you more than you'd ever know, and he's a goddamned buffoon for not realizing it sooner or telling you more often. Just the thought had a calming and tingly feeling spreading through the sorcerer's whole being, but he didn't say it not yet. Saying that while you were still mentally fragile would possibly open a gushing wound, especially with what he had done, and how he handled the two of you before, so he bit his tongue to stay quiet as he cradled your face, watching the morning sunlight spill into your room. How it glistens off your hair, skin, and eyes like stars were dazzling brightly.

"I'd...like that a lot," your voice cracks in his hands as a sad but pleased smile forms across your lips, a warm and accepting look is what fills your face now and you just nod and he presses his forehead against your own, fingers carding softly through your hair while looking at your eyes and scanning your face for any further hesitation or disagreement, pulling you back into his chest where his heart rests. The sorcerer could hear his pulse, and he couldn't remember the last time that happened to him or when his chest had felt this full, or a weight like this had lifted from his shoulders and the peace that was now spreading across his body. This feeling had his soul at rest for the time. This was better than any fight or training session or bloodshed or chaos that he could accomplish by his own or that he would aid in achieving. To have your weight in his arms and the way you look at him in this moment in time. Like the world stopped.

Everything was going to be okay.

...

Weeks have passed and both of you were finding it easier to relax or be more patient with one another. Likes and dislikes were beginning to be remembered, but everything wasn't suddenly going to fix itself. But Quan Chi was patient with you, working to do better and actually opening himself to love, listening, caring and giving into his temptations more when it came to your displays of love. Something he found that would be enjoyable and pleasant in the days to come. A smirk settles on his features. He would make it a goal to shower you with as many of the affectionate acts that the two of you missed out on. Things would come together when the time called. In the end, Quan Chi could tell that the time you've spent and that was still to come will strengthen whatever relationship was rekindling between the two of you. He will eventually open his mouth and tell you how much his heart aches for you when you're not beside him. But that is a work in process. The sorcerer feels at peace though, everything was going great, and he wouldn't let anything ruin it again, making an oath to himself and taking an oath to you, making things better. It will be better, and the sorcerer intends to fulfil that promise he silently swore to himself, he'd give and try to help your worries fade from your mind. You two could focus on just enjoying the relationship and all the trials that come with it. His heart would beat rapidly knowing the future was unknown. But not uncertain that this time it'd be different. Everything would be alright. This was perfect.

He was right, you know that now, for the past several weeks the two of you had found a new rhythm that worked for the pair of you. It was comfortable. Happy. The sorcerer has never looked so light before. The stress you'd seen in his frame so many times seemed to just melt away over time and you couldn't be more glad. This is what happiness looks like. Even if Quan Chi was always focused on whatever was at hand, with training, work, whatever project was assigned, a hint of a smile on his face remained no matter what the day threw at the two of you, even when some days ended poorly the sorcerer was calmer about it. Soothed a bit, and he tended to not let it affect him the way it did in the past. While your visits to the Netherrealm still hadn't started back up, he came to see you almost daily, you had started talking again and more conversations were taking place and starting back up, no matter how they ended they were usually happy, not stale and dead anymore. Which helped lift some weight off your own shoulders as well. He had grown more and more comfortable with physical contact and expressing himself the more time had passed. And it was nice. Finally having a bit of your dreams realized. You even were able to get your boyfriend to communicate with you, in more of an actual partner sort of manner. Everything was progressing nicely. For both of you. It wasn't a surprise when Quan Chi was initiating touch. Whether it was holding hands, a simple kiss or a hug. Nothing that was sexual or going beyond what either of you was comfortable with and both of you found it incredibly freeing when either party made the move. You've caught yourselves laughing more often, which helped you find yourself back into the old familiarity with your past love, the light in each other's lives, it was just like how it was the first several years.

Sometimes there are still silent moments between the two of you but they didn't last long, usually only minutes but hours if there wasn't anything to interrupt. Both of you eventually developed a liking for these moments. Just looking out your balcony at the world or gazing up at the stars in the darkness. Staring in the distance and reminiscing with one another or catching one another staring. It felt so comfortable for both of you and natural. Of course, sometimes couples fight or have conflicting opinions, but that didn't mean the sorcerer and you weren't progressing. Sometimes, it's what you need in order for progress and change to be made. As if the air needs to be cleared. And soon enough the dust settled, and everything fell back into a new norm that suited you. Just like the universe was constantly shifting and moving and forming new elements and worlds and civilizations.

...

You figured you'd visit the Netherrealm for the first time in a long time to visit him. You did miss the warmth the realm had. For it having such a terrible reputation it was really a sight for sore eyes, even if you only were allowed a few fleeting glimpses or visits at random. The warmth seemed to seep into your flesh and bones as you stepped out of the portal turning back to wave to Fujin as you walked down the path leading deeper into the Netherrealm. Quan Chi had no idea you were coming so, the idea of surprising him brought excitement to your mind.

One of the hell beasts that you'd ridden with Quan Chi before came galloping towards you letting out its ghoulish whinny as it stopped in front of you, its bright red hot horns held high as it waited for you to approach. You'd always had a fondness for these demonic goat-horse-ghoul-like steeds. Approaching you stroked its face in a tender and gentle greeting before mounting the hell beast and spurring it off towards Quan Chi's fortress.

Tearing down the mountain paths and canyon slopes, leaping and galloping, the hoof falls echoing and seeming to rock the whole ground beneath you in an earthquake of movements and a heavy timbre in their sound as the air whistled passed your ears and face. The blood and spit flowing out of its jaws that look so feral, even as its red flesh is clamped onto and being forced through the harshest of environments it seems content or delighted and you feel as if you're flying through the land on a ghoulish horse. You figured that this one had seen you before or was either Shinnok's or Quan Chi's since it seemed so calm around you, knowing where it was going easily with no need for you to use the reigns that seemingly stayed in its bony maw and upper shoulders.

It feels right that you would be reunited with such a creature after the two of you have begun healing your relationship. As you approach the tower you feel this giddy sense filling your stomach, it really had been a sight for sore eyes not being in the Netherrealm for so long. Even being in the dark pits of the realms you were still feeling glee. Upon arriving you give the creature a small gift for doing so well and bring him into the stable near the tower. As you enter you can hear Shinnok grumbling about 'that damned horse.' It's been a while since you've seen the fallen god since he was imprisoned in the Netherrealm. The heavy hoof falls of the best you lead seem to have given you away as Shinnok whipped around ready to destroy the beast. But seeing you guide the unruly creature with ease he merely seemed surprised to see you here again after so long.

"Hello Lord Shinnok, how are you?" the small smile spread across your lips seems to take the fallen god aback briefly, causing him to clear his throat and stare long and hard at you. Shinnok only stared down at you briefly. Shinnok had always had a soft spot for you for some unknown reason that not even he could or would explain.

"(y/n)? I've been well. And you? I see you found my most unruly beast, in coming here. What brings you by?" his tone was amused and he let out a slight chuckle as he glared daggers at the animal that seemed happy to be next to you. Shinnok always spoke in a sophisticated sort of way, so it seemed quite jarring to the others he was often surrounded by. Raiden and Fujin's jaws dropped hearing how Shinnok seemed to adore you as if you were his own child. Quan Chi too was equally stunned, while some were clearly displeased you seemed to get along rather well with him. It seems Shinnok enjoyed having the chance to speak with someone he had less bitter memories with who wasn't a scheming wraith in his eyes.

"I'm good, I'm good. Quan Chi and I have been patching up our relationship the past few weeks, it's been close to three months now actually," you smile before continuing patting the animal next to you.

"This guy found me travelling on foot here, gave me a ride and everything, he doesn't seem unruly to me. He's just a big baby," you coo at the animal as it lets out a gleeful ghoulish whinny, lightly nudging his snout against your face and hair and causing the fallen god to scoff in laughter once again. He always had this air of intimidation with everyone else, especially with those whose loyalty lay solely with the Edenians or mortals, Shinnok made an exception and treated you with an uncanny softness and respect.

"It let you ride on its back? Without throwing you? Peculiar...This one likes to bite Quan Chi and I no matter what we do," he grumbles clearly jealous that the beast seems to adore you more than him after less than a day of meeting.

"Well, I suppose I should help you get him back to his stall then?" You ask, though it sounds more like an offer which Shinnok accepts, the fallen God helps you put him up, and as the stall closes the beast whinnies at you again as if wanting to go for another ride soon. You give it an apple that you had in your bag from Earthrealm which it happily eats before licking your hand appreciatively.

You could basically hear Shinnok's jaw it the floor with how gentle and sweet the beast was with you compared to him and Quan Chi. Even letting you scratch along the gouged, marred, and gnarly edges of his snout and horns. Shinnok just watched in disbelief that the animal acted like it liked you instantly and was content and happy around your presence. You turn to Shinnok as the two of you walk toward the palace.

"Something the matter?" You ask raising an eyebrow, which has Shinnok shaking himself a bit, still trying to wrap his head around the image.

"That horse always caused problems for Quan Chi and myself, usually causing destruction, escaping, biting, kicking, bucking riders off, but with you...It's...He acts completely differently. What witchcraft have you woven my dear?" he inquired and chuckled, wrapping an arm around your shoulders as the two of you made the walk to the fortress entrance. You just shrug and shake your head just as confused as him.

"Don't ask me. But hey, since you are doing so well and looking to be a good horseman perhaps I'll start bringing apples with me?" Shinnok let out a sincere and pleased laugh, something you rarely ever hear come from him that was truly pleased.

"I think I'd quite enjoy that my dear. You seem to have done that same magic with our sorcerer Quan Chi. Well, you must go reunite with the Sorcerer, I'll see you next time I presume? Have a safe return when you depart," the fallen god told you with a small genuine smirk before teleporting away, presumably back to his own keep. Shinnok was far different than a lot of people knew him to be and he could even be kind. Sometimes you could tell the loneliness ate away at him, that there are many more sides of his character than what has been let to be known or let to see the light.

As you enter the fortress you can hear the beast's whinnies echo off the walls from outside, and Shinnok yelling about behaving. You can't help but giggle as you walk deeper listening as the echoes seem to mesh together until they die off from the distance. Entering the throne room or study you could never tell them apart from all of the books and things thrown around the place, you see the man in question leaning on the large stone table with maps of different parts of the realms. He seemed to be zoning off in his own little world as you closed the door to the entry behind you, gently as you moved closer to him, coming up to the side of the table watching how his eyes seemed to just move between everything not noticing so close to him. Leaning across the table you make yourself present.

"Hellloooo~ Earth to Quan Chi!" You chime, the amusement was clear in your tone and voice which snapped Quan Chi's head around. As the realization set in you could feel the smile he gave you. Seeing his beloved appear without a warning from their trip into his realm filled his soul with warmth and butterflies. The surprise evident on his features was easy to make out and soon he wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled your body toward him in a big bear-like embrace. Your feet had to rest on top of his boots just barely, and the top of your head just met his chin as your own arms wound their way around his neck and shoulders to give a full embrace in return.

"This is a great surprise, I had no idea you would be gracing my home or company today, yet here you are..." The sorcerer's voice rumbled in his chest you could feel it with how tightly your body was pressed against his own.

"I wanted to surprise you," your words are slightly muffled into the front of his robes, but his arms tighten around your waist hearing the words as you continue talking to him, explaining a bit more,

"Shinnok seems well, I met him in the stables when I brought home his 'most unruly beast'," you grin as you can feel the way his body moves at the laughter you've managed to draw from him. He always had an attractive voice and laugh.

"You met the bitter and weren't bitten or kicked?" his voice sounds half between amusement, surprise and disbelief at the idea. This elicits another giggle from you, pulling out of the hug, but just enough to meet his gaze, resting on his upper torso in a comfortable embrace.

"Oh yeah, he's super sweet and let me ride him here, He's not mean; just a big baby." You praise the animal in his stables. The laughter Quan Chi emits shakes your body this time. He moves and gestures for you to sit in his lap, which you both oblige, smiling up at him as your feet dangle over the armrest. His leg bounces a few times in pure joy. You can feel the giddiness radiating off the sorcerer in a way you rarely see him allow to be so clearly shown. It fills your chest with a certain warmth as his body surrounds and cages yours into the warmth of his own body in a protective and intimate manner. His arms wind around you easily resting in various places. His cheek and forehead rest against the top of your head while you tilt it back towards him, shifting a little to find a more comfortable position.

"This was quite the surprise," the sorcerer can't help but agree in this moment. A smile still tugging his cheeks and making his eyes smile as his warm hands trace little symbols into the curve of your spine.

"What are you working on?" You hum curiously as your hands join his. Intertwining with his fingers while he traces idle symbols. You love watching him in his element as you know his mind is whirling constantly with a million thoughts.

"Some personal studies I'm working on, that will hopefully benefit myself, and you one day." He hummed pressing a kiss you your forehead. The sorcerer smiled down at his lover as he pulled their body closer. Just breathing in the closeness, you smell slightly of the smoke and ash that clings to his clothes, along with something akin to old leather-bound books and freshly baked goods. All smells seem to fill him and saturate the depths of his core, with the familiarity.

"Oh really now? Do tell me, dear~," you say in the most endearing voice that brings a pleasant ache in his chest and you can hear his heartbeat pick up from here and feel the way his pulse spikes, it wasn't entirely his fault, he really had softened so much more for you in the past few months.

"Do you really wish to know? Is it that you actually want to know, or are you being endearing on purpose?" the question catches you a bit off guard as you peek your head around, locking gazes with his as you give him a light kiss on his lips.

"A little bit of both," you quip back as you lean forward and kiss his nose. The gesture seems to warm his chest even further as he tries to regain composure and answer the question, a bit lost for words. Quan Chi seemed to be giving off a familiar demeanour as his shoulders relaxed and he slowly ran his long fingers through your (h/c) hair gently combing through any knots.

"Ah, yes. Well, I do believe it'd be better left as a surprise dear. But I have taken a particular interest in this study that would do well if my theory is correct." His voice is gentle and patient, just like his hands carding through your locks, treating them as a precious relic. His other hand gently brushed over the flesh and skin on your hips, moving between your back and legs to rub away at the growing stiffness of your muscles and joints. He never misses an opportunity to lavish you with his tender touch, but never seems to ask for anything in return. Quan Chi just enjoyed giving to the person he cared most for in life, especially since you seemed to reciprocate everything, whether in equal amounts or more.

"Sounds good. I'm sure it'll be worth it in the end, if not even to be more in tune and focused. I always did have a lot of respect for your studies," he felt his face flush slightly, clearing his throat as his fingertips gently glided over the taut skin and firm tissue. Quan Chi enjoys hearing your compliments, knowing you speak from the heart, it was an intimate compliment shared between just the two of you and no one else.

As you two enjoy the moment you hear the door slam open and Shinnok breathing hard,

"It got out again and kicked me in the chest, I might just kill the beast this time," Shinnok growled and the look he gave the sorcerer caused a silent 'Sorry' to fall from Quan Chi's mouth. You stand and follow the two men outside seeing the animal causing havoc towards other demons in the area. Both men seem so annoyed at the sight that this beast won't just listen or behave. You just watch before clapping and cooing at the animal right before it bites another demon.

"What are you doin'?" You ask using a babying tone towards the animal like someone might do towards a house cat or dog.

"The hell beast was being difficult and annoying so I sent him into another empty stable with a gate and locked it, now he's throwing a fit again." The fallen God states with annoyance. Shinnok could never understand why his steed wasn't more obedient to his dark will. You just calmly walk towards it baby talking and cooing at it while both men watch in horror thinking you're going to get bit, kicked, or worse headbutted with its molten hot horns. As you do this Shinnok realizes the horse is only acting the way it is towards the demon population within the fortress and Quan Chi can't believe that a supposedly mean animal has a clear weakness to you and won't hurt you in any manner.

"There's a good boy, you're not mean you are just a big baby, huh?" You coo again as you pat the animal's bony face, being careful to avoid his gnarled and warped facial features. The horse gives out an affirmative neigh, which causes Shinnok's jaw to fall straight to the floor as he looks on in a mixed state of awe and amazement. Quan Chi's jaw dropped almost the same second with the same result, eyes fixed on the horse as it licked your hands once, and trotted happily around you. Not even sparing the demons of the palace a second glance. It took a good minute before anyone in the courtyard could pick their jaw up from the floor, watching the two of you interact was quite shocking, considering Shinnok was never heard to call the beast by any other names save for 'Hell beast.'

"You're just a big softy wanting attention," you coo as you keep patting it and giving it scritches between the bony vertebrae. After a few minutes, you hop on and give him another apple that was in the saddlebag. Both men were stunned by the lack of bites to your flesh, along with you sitting so fearless upon him and knowing the animal was nothing short of violent, mean, and extremely ill-tempered, the fact you could not only stay upon his back and even be fearless but tame this demon steed. You grin at both of them as you pat the beast's shoulder affectionately.

"See he's not mean at all!" You praise the animal as they both just seem speechless, Quan Chi comes over and holds out an apple to it, it snaps at him but snorts in disapproval since Quan Chi didn't offer anything else of use or importance to the steed.

"No bite, bad!" You chastise the animal for trying to bite Quan Chi's hand and the animal makes a low sad sort of groan at you, ears pressing flat as if it knows it's in trouble with you. You shake your head a few times and pull on the reigns of his makeshift saddle.

"Be good boy," you say as you pass its neck softly a few times. The animal whines, stomping a few times as it is starting to catch on to your orders, it snorts at the sorcerer when he approaches with the apple but accepts it begrudgingly; to which you quickly praise him for behaving.

"There's a good boy! Good job," you coo as you keep petting the animal softly.

"Maybe he was mistreated in the past? It might've thought everyone would act this way towards him and it turned into a self-fulfilling prophecy I guess," You observe as you watch it let your friend feed him.

"With gentle love and care he should be a sweet and well-behaved steed," you look down and see his big red glowing eyes seem to stare back at you lovingly, it nudges your hand for pets, which you indulge. Quan Chi moves to stand near you holding onto part of the reign in case it chooses to buck or rear. It's like the animal can understand what you are saying and the horse even gives Quan Chi an annoyed side glare while nuzzling closer towards you.

"Interesting." He chuckles softly at how attached the horse is to you and his hands pet the animal's leg watching as it doesn't snap or anything,

"Have you ever ridden or raced horses, my love?" The question caused you to shake your head in response to the inquiry. He was amused but it had seemed the animal picked up on the positive aspects of your care.

"No, he's the first one I've ever ridden. He came up to me when I was walking here. Gave me a ride and everything." The animal had truly been kind in its own rough way, you wondered if Shinnok had even properly named the stallion. The animal took the opportunity to yawn and stretch its body shivering as it did. It was obvious this stallion had no intention of hurting you and even liked the fact that you were here, as it whinnies and nuzzles into the crook of your arm.

"Shinnok does he have a name?"

"No. Quan and I weren't planning on having an unruly beast," his answer was direct, and concise, and fair. You hop off the animal as Quan Chi is quick to catch you and put you on the ground safely.

"Well, I guess I'll just have to call him Leviathan then, what do you think buddy you like the name?" You asked the beast as you patted it once more, giving a few clicks and whinnies with his feet as he shook his large head a bit, blowing out air through his nostrils in acknowledgement. The fact that you would even consider asking the animal a question is as trivial and foolish as if the animal had a choice to decide on a name. Yet Shinnok said nothing and Quan Chi just moved his hand to intertwine yours. You had brought his horse to a submissive state of peace, something he never thought would be possible; let alone wanted to bother attempting the prospect. The animal's ear swivels to the side, resting back fully behind it as you start to talk again,

"I know Leviathans aren't technically considered sea-based or horses, but it seemed to like the name," Quan Chi merely nodded as Leviathan, the now-named beast, blew air towards Quan Chi who kept a firm hand on the reign.

"I'd hardly worry about its opinion, I'm sure it enjoys having a name for others to recognize him by." A wicked grin crosses his lips. The sorcerer loved to toy with and taunt all who challenged him or even dared to gaze at him in anger. You pat the beast's cheek one more time, sending a loving smile towards Leviathan as you help get him back into his stable. You pretty much bribed the animal to behave for Shinnok and Quan Chi when you're not in the Netherrealm. They couldn't argue or question why the beast listened and respected every request and command you gave it. The simple explanation was that you loved, cared for, and accepted Leviathan for everything he was. The rest could work out how it did, Quan Chi's possessive nature kicked in as you were back at the fortress and in his care, it showed even more that he could feel jealous and possessive, just from watching you give that animal your full attention and affection, treating it with the same kindness you'd give him. Quan Chi moves a stray strand of your hair from your face, getting a smile from you as he leads you back to his study, Shinnok had parted ways halfway through the walk back. Once the study doors closed and were secured, he spun around and pulled you to him again kissing all the exposed flesh that showed from the upper half of your body. The sudden rush and gesture took you aback but not in a bad way, if not a pleasant and surprising way. His arms held you tight, like the bear hugs he loved to give, but he was still passionate, soft, and tender with his advances as his tongue made its way into your mouth. One hand stayed to hold your head in the kiss, the other slid around to grasp the ample bottom. It seemed like this was long overdue, you wanted to stay like this and melt into this very moment. He pulls back momentarily, smirking and licking his lips, before kissing a path down to the crux of your neck, before nipping there too, sucking a deep bruise into the area and his hand slides under the edge of your waistband. Walking you backwards towards his desk.

"Mhmm-." Is all you could manage, half because you can feel his erection and are losing your breath and words with each new lick, bite or kiss he leaves. Your pants are thrown haphazardly across his workspace, and he lifts you up as you wrap your legs around his waist tightly. Moving around, until his hips and his need, pressed onto your soft warm core. He rubbed his erection firmly into your cunt, savouring the friction and sweet sounds pouring out your mouth as you pushed right back down to meet the actions. His hands traced, groped, squeezed and worshipped every area and crevice he could. You can hear a grumble escape from him as he pulls back fumbling with his belt wanting his pants to be off and discarded so he can truly savour you. It has been far too long since the two of you have been intimate, way before the nine months you two had been sort of broken up. As soon as his pants were unbuttoned and thrown somewhere on the floor of his study, his lips were on yours again. Lust burned heavily between the pair of you before he turned you over to lie over his desk. Your stomach and chest are pressed against the cool wood of his desk, papers and books thrown out of his way, artefacts, notes, scrolls and books in piles thrown to the floor allowing him to tower over you in a way of pure hunger. He takes a few moments to stroke you and fill you with his cock, once the head is inside he breathes a contented sigh, leaning forward to press into your shoulder and back, holding one of your cheeks open and spreading it to give him more space to slide in. Every nerve was on fire with pleasure, everything felt good and hot to him and you just moaned at how big he was. His warm chest and shoulders were against your back while his pelvis brushed against the meatiest part of your ass. He slowly leans more into you, keeping a good pace as the familiar pressure and build-up in the pit of your stomach starts.

"Hah~...Quan Chi~..." His name fell from your mouth like the sweetest melody his ears had heard in such a long time. His groin is smacking into your plump ass making sure that the friction between you and him enjoying every sound, noise, and feeling you can offer him. Each thrust seemed better than the last and before you knew it, he pulled back on the waistline of the shirt you chose to wear.. As soon as it passes your head and lands elsewhere in his workspace, his hot open mouth trails kisses all over your back. The only thing that remained on you was your bra. With his skilled and graceful fingers, he unsnaps the back undoing the clasp, sliding it down your shoulder and off your body letting it fall. Everything is tossed into oblivion and he wants to hear the sounds your mouth makes, those are music to his ears, hearing each moan, sigh, groan, grunt and plea leave those soft beautiful lips of yours, especially as you tighten around him, indicating he's found the magic spot and abusing it mercilessly.

"Please. Right- ah~ Right there! Don't stop~"

Your mouth drops open in an 'O' as you come around him. He feels it. Feels your wet cunt pulsating around him and he groans. Grunts. Growls into your ear, as he pulls the lobe between his teeth,

"So tight..." he manages. You grip his dick so well that his eyes roll back into his head, he can't even remember the last time you'd cum on him like this. How incredible you had become over the years, especially the past year, how your walls suck his dick in. It almost begged him to continue deeper into your slick heat. The sweet way your pussy sounded as he pushed in and out, drove him crazy knowing what he's done to you in moments like this, he makes you beg and plead with him and all those days, hours, weeks, and months without being inside you like this seemed like pure and utter torture. This was exactly the fuel for the fire that burnt in the depths of his soul and the dark recesses of his demonic mind. His hips stutter before pushing you both over the edge of your own release, hearing your second orgasm roll through you, as you try to fight the shaking thighs that now had his cock buried hilt deep within your twitching and quivering walls, leaving you sensitive and shivering as he keeps moving lost in his own world of euphoric pleasure. It seemed the more the pleasure built up, the more ravenous he got; wanting to leave marks as he peppered your skin with fresh marks that anyone could see leaving dark mean bites and hickies littering your neck in places that were hard or impossible to hide. As if his lust-filled eyes burned with the same passion and fire within a blackened forge and the hunger to feed that fire kept burning like it couldn't be sated. His rhythm, like most things he set his mind to, was near perfect and the pace he'd kept going, kept steady, would've driven lesser beings insane and lost to his hunger and darkness. A primal groan vibrates through his chest, leaving your chest buzzing and his fingertips gripped hard into your hips. You buck back against him as best you can. You lean your head back trying to make eye contact with him knowing how dominating it makes him feel, how it lights his ego and pride on fire in a way that you can't explain. It's hard to keep your eyes open from how you've cum twice already and yet he's still going. There's a noticeable purr in his voice, mixed in with his usual baritone bass and a string of sounds that sounded close to a sentence clearly he's deep in his own thoughts.

"Quan Chi~." You're not even sure if he understands what he's saying, but it makes him grip your hips even tighter, possessively even. If there were any doubts that you were going to be marked and reminded of whom you belonged to and how no one would ever stand a chance to experience this form of absolute pleasure, they've been eradicated now. He mutters to you, between laboured panting and a series of pleased moans. His thrusts increase their force as his stamina wears on and his pleasure increases, he pulls all the way out before snapping his hips and bottoming out fully over and over again.

"Take it- take what's yours, love, mine. Never theirs... Mine...only mine. Always been and forever will be mine and mine only. My darling~ mine mine mine. Ahhh," He breathes heavily, practically panting in his laboured and concentrated attempt to drive his cock deeper, harder. In and out. All the while you gasp, unable to even reply or speak properly between each rough jolt and grind from his hips, nearly knocking the wind from you. He can tell your senses are overwhelmed from all the touches and how the heat and pressure around his dick kept constricting like a vice, something that was pure heaven, his vision goes white for a second, eyes squeezing shut as his eyelids flutter and his head is thrown back in pleasure.

"More, take it. More- all, give me, you belong to me, no one else... Take all I give, hmn. That's my girl~ my darling, only I can make you feel this way and no one else. Just me." The next thrust had him go even harder and you'd hoped that nothing was actually in the line of being fucked or dropped, cause those things sure got tossed and broken due to how he slammed the flat side of his hand down on his desk, the same spot your hand were resting, giving him better leverage. One of the last things you noticed or felt was his nails digging into you and breaking skin as he grunted and moaned out. There's the slightest nip and a bite at your neck and shoulders from the pleasure he's experiencing. The moment the last hard thrust hit you with everything and then some, he spilt. Thick ropes of warm and sticky seed flooded into you, painting you, filling you, and leaking from where the two of you were joined, trying desperately to breathe after how the orgasm had robbed both of you of air. Once the euphoria ebbed away slightly and his limbs allowed him to, he pulled out from you; you could've sworn you saw your own orgasm trickle and run down your thigh as well. His office and presence were sweltering, hot and heady with your combined orgasms, sex and lust, filled with the need for each other. Your thighs shiver and feel like jelly, your ass and thighs red from the force of his thrusts. His breathing had slowed significantly, even if his heart rate hadn't.

"There's no other," he whispered, his lips leaving delicate feather-like touches up the small of your back. "My dear, I... apologize... for neglecting you, even in the times I was preoccupied with work," Quan Chi, admitted. Both of your breathing and the occasional buzzing or the tick-tock sound coming from a clock seemed to be all that filled his office.

"The past year had not been easy on you... You are truly exceptional my beloved. Please let me make it up to you. It seems that my life cannot work, no matter the quality, without you by my side. I am so enamoured and in love with you." He kept giving you little kisses and running his hands all over your body and he slid them upwards to caress your cheek. You would have had your eyes closed to keep enjoying the aftershocks and pleasure but seeing his love-drunk smile had you locked and unable to close your eyes. Quan Chi stared adoringly, in fact, it would've been cute, considering it was hard to break his character, as much of a hard stubborn ass he was in most situations, but he looked relaxed, happy and grateful to even have a second with you, as he stroked and played with your hair. Slowly he helped you roll onto your back as you sighed and shivered with the aftershocks still coursing through you. The closeness and intimacy between you were evident from how his nose skimmed down the bridge of yours, and his eyes flickered with an inner light, but the dark possessiveness, and need, swirled too. It always made a new sense of want, arousal, and love flow through you. Being fully spent and only the thought of having him here made your mind feel clearer, Quan Chi looked equally sated and worn out, yet also peaceful and relieved. You opened your arms to invite him to lay on top of you. An inviting embrace, inviting and asking him to crawl on top of you, an open door in invitation to love him, be loved, to make his deepest thoughts, emotions, dreams, hopes, and secrets come true. An acceptance and understanding. He carefully leaned onto your tired sweaty form enjoying your warmth and comforting you in the afterglow, and he pulled his arms to hold him above you on his forearms, with a nuzzling movement of his head down and around, finding his usual comfortable place of comfort between the curve of your shoulder and neck and he slides an arm across your waist to cuddle you in his grasp.

"I'll make the rest up to you in no time," he muttered sleepily, a brief touch of his tongue touching the nape of your neck, licking over the very noticeable hickies, nibbling the bruise, making it grow. After a few seconds of silence and quiet from him.

"Oh?"

You raised your eyebrows at his mischievous, plotting and cunning face and tone. It was hard to tell if this was the post-sex high or him finally having a better view of his end game in your life.

"How do you intend to do that, Quan Chi?" You had asked as he slowly lifted himself onto his hands and knees, looming over you to start placing a plethora of kisses onto your shoulders, kissing the dark bruise he left earlier, that he seemed to find particularly gorgeous as you lie beneath him. His fingers curled and traced all your curves and dips of your flesh with great reverence as if his fingertips were praying at an altar. A slow sigh escapes him, eyes drinking in all the details before him.

"Believe me, love. You will know once it begins, I assure you I've learned my lesson," He responded. As he climbed off of his desk he seemed to be looking for the clothing the two of you threw off in a lust-filled hurry, seeing the mess of his desk and its surrounding area. With the way, he moved and stepped around, picking up both pieces of discarded clothes, you could tell he was thinking. He also kept making comments under his breath about having to put things away properly. You sat up fully on his desk, as you watched him. Your legs still feel like jelly, and your muscles ache from such an intense moment together. You chuckle when he gives you a frustrated grunt of disapproval, finding your clothing first. At that point, Quan Chi turns and leans closer to you with your top in his hand, kissing you again.

"Go dress," he said, holding your clothing out to you and gently coaxing you to stand. You stand on wobbly legs as you move to take your clothing from him, turning your back to him as if he hadn't seen you naked and just had sex with you. With your back to him, he gave a hum of approval. His fingertips traced down the column of your spine. Your back was surely marked, love bites and fingernail prints marring the skin there, a pleasurable memory of what just happened.

"Are you satisfied darling?" He hummed in delight, pride radiating in his voice. You looked at him over your shoulder, the tiniest little teasing smile playing on your lips, "How can I not be? I can hardly feel my legs..." and with a tease, you winked back at him. Quan Chi chuckled behind you, clearly loving the way he made you feel. You turned with a smirk, fully dressed and waiting for him to dress and walk you to his room. He knows you can only handle so much and get tired after sex. He glanced towards the clock, before turning his attention to dressing himself, putting things away as well as he could.

"Give me but a moment." And with that, he proceeded to clean up the mess the two of you made of his workspace, putting things back where they belonged. A smirk came across his face as he saw the spot you had been sitting on his desk had a moist-looking spot from your combined releases.

"Do hurry dear," you called teasingly from the door. He started to walk out of the room to meet up with you, walking toward you, his hands tugging up and buttoning his pants as he walked. It was quiet in the hall and only the faint light of the lava below streamed in. He seemed to enjoy how you felt against him as the two of you walked. Though in reality he was walking with his arm possessively over your shoulders and keeping you as close as possible, every few steps there was a moment where the backs of his fingers would brush up and down your backside, sending shivers through you. He opened his bedroom door, stepping in before holding it open for you. It had been a while since the two of you slept together and his bed was massive, yet he still held you tight and possessively. You don't question it, feeling too exhausted and still overwhelmed by how much desire, need, passion, and even some anger was taken out, and had been released during your intercourse in his study, all at once. Quietly you kiss his neck, nuzzling close and you could hear a hum vibrating his chest as he moved the covers for a few seconds he finally adjusted his grip and held you close, pulling you further under the covers and closing his eyes. Sleeping this way was familiar to him and more comforting than he realized, hearing how tired you were and your sleepy chuckle had you drifting off soon enough.

Quan Chi looks forward to waking up tomorrow morning, and finding you curled into his chest. If this were a few months ago, he would've found his pillow, on the other side of the bed, empty and cold. Now? He could feel your warmth and he could even feel your breathing on his neck. His smile grows. Quietly, he laughs, pulling you closer. Your body warmth was welcome against his chest, his fingers began tracing patterns up and down your spine once more, not necessarily meant to bring you closer or entice you, but as a means of soothing him and memorizing all the nooks and dips in your flesh.

You were perfect for him. And only him. Never has Quan Chi cared for anyone or anything but himself, but with you? You, made his blood rush, his head swim, his world become clearer and even his feelings and thoughts were simplified with how you acted and he wasn't certain whether or not he had given you more power or if this is how relationships were meant to be. His smile softened as you adjusted, nuzzling your face between his chest. And without realizing his thumb brushed across your temple, across your cheeks in a tender gesture and something so close and intimate as the two of you curled up tired and spent. He continued the movement across the expanse of your soft flesh, gently running the backside of his knuckle, back and forth along your jaw. Even the slow and steady movement of your chest lulled him deeper and deeper into a relaxed state, that was so comfortable and calming, and you weren't even aware. Your warm body heat only increased with the action and the demon sorcerer couldn't fight the lazy smile on his lips, sleep taking him gently and swiftly. All he could focus on was the sight of you in front of him and nothing else in all realms. All that was on the table now was that his senses, all of them, were utterly full to the brim and occupied only by you. And he wouldn't change that for any form or coin, and for you, that, in and of itself, was something spectacular.

:read more:

#quan chi #quan chi x reader #fanfic request #height difference

[respectfulkitfistosimp]

The Abode

A Kayn lol x reader fanfic part 4 master list

You disliked the pop artists that your coworkers would listen to while you worked but now you found yourself humming the lyrics and beats of their songs, you would give everything in your power to listen to them again but you wouldn't work 48 hours straight ever again. You had started to regret your desicions to come here, all of the benefits that were promised and delivered to you suddenly lost their meaning as you started to get homesick, you missed your parents, your friends and even the walk to university or the hospital, you also missed only knowing Kayn as a character in a game that the guy you hated the most in your world played with rather that an actual person who for some reason loved to interact with you, you had no idea why you found him so annoying, the poor acolyte hadn't done anything, maybe it was the fact that the guy you hated used to play him in the game? Yeah, maybe that was it, or maybe you just simply didn't click together, that was also possible. It was almost as if your complains summoned him as he just walked into the infirmary without even knocking, you scolded him each time he did that citing possible cases as to why he should knock, "what if I'm changing?" Or "what if I'm treating a patient and they need privacy?" Were things that you would say, he shrugged with a smug look on his face each time and that only annoyed you more.

—I got hurt again, doc—he said, he had started taking a liking to calling you "doc", saying that doctor is too strict.

—Let me take a look—you replied and thought "what a surprise", putting a lot of effort in not rolling your eyes as you inspected the wound that was finally something worth treating—are you normally this careless?—you asked him as you started to treat the injury.

He shrugged with a smug look yet again before replying—only since you started working here.

You had no idea what he meant by that, was he flirting with your or did something happen to his head? It was most likely his head, it would explain all of his weird behavior but unfortunately for him you never expected to specialize on neurology, but you could do the next best thing and look for any signs of a possible concussion and somehow you found nothing.

—I didn't hit my head if that's what you were wondering—he said, finding the situation funny.

—That you remember—you said, feeling as if you've had this conversation before

He said something after but you didn't answer him though, honestly you didn't even hear what he said as you examined the horrible state his hair and scalp was in, it was a crime to have such beautiful and long hair and not take care of it, so for first and last time in your life you were going to go the extra mile for him.

—Let me make you some rosemary oil for your hair and some nettle oil too—you said, finally separating your hands from his head—do you mind getting some rosemary and nettle for me? I've got no clue where I can find them.

Kayn looked at you full of confusion for a couple of seconds before his entire face started to glow from.... happiness? excitement? It seemed like those were the emotions he was experiencing but you had no idea why, how come he was so happy to do such a simple task for you? Maybe he was actually happy that his hair would get better? Yes, that was why, you would react the same way if you were in his shoes. Just to make sure he wouldn't forget what you needed you wrote it down on a piece of paper, along with a note for him to give to Zed in case he asked Kayn why he wasn't training.

—Thanks, I appreciate that—you handed him both pieces of paper, he folded them and placed them in his pocket after reading each one—take a break today just in case, come to me if the wound gets worse, alright?—he nodded alond with a "yes, doc", at least he knew how to listen.

He didn't leave though, for some reason he just stared at you like he was reading you, trying to take a peek into your very soul and so much staring started to make you nervous, you mouth went dry and you started to fidget with the edges of your coat, tilting your head in confusion.

—You're different today—he said, tilting his head too but not trying to annoy you.

You tried to come up with an excuse but no thought crossed your mind, it was weird how he could just render you speechless when you would normally be able to bullshit your way out of any situation. You took a deep breath to calm yourself, it did barely nothing but at least you stopped fidgeting.

—Tell me your story—he asked, kindness filling his voice.

Luckily you were prepared for that question, otherwise you wouldn't even know what to say as you obviously couldn't simply say that you came from another universe, in fact you didn't even know why you were here now.

—I used to live in what's now Noxian territory—you started, sitting on your desk—I had a clinic there where I treated people—you kept your story short and simple, that way it'll be easier to remember in case you had to lie again.

—What about your family?—he rested his back on the chair, genuinely interested.

—My parents were good, hardworking people, I was their only child so they wanted what was best for me—you faked a homesick look—I wanted to be a doctor since I was a kid and they busted their asses working for me to achieve that—you chuckled, that part was true—then came the noxians and, well, you can guess what happened next.

Kayn stared at you, understanding filling his eyes as you kept a soft but sad smile, even if the reason behind such a smile was different it didn't matter, whether it was from homesickness because everyone you knew was dead or in another universe it was still a sad, cold feeling. He looked down at his hands, thinking of what to say to comfort you but ultimately coming up with nothing, he had never been good at this kind of stuff.

—It's alright though, I've had a long time to digest it—you reassured him, that allowing him to lift his head to look at you.

—I'm sorry—was all he could say, you started to feel a little guilty for lying to him.

You sighed before opening a jar, taking out a piece of candy from it and offering it to him.

—Don't be, it wasn't your fault.

Kayn took the candy from your hand, inspecting it for a second before unwrapping it and propping it into his mouth, the sweetness from it making him smile, you thought he looked better that way. All of the actual homesickness you were feeling that day, all of the regret and bitterness getting blown away just because of that simple smile, you gritted your teeth knowing what that meant and being afraid of it, it was easy for you to fall for a person who showed the slightest bit of interest in you and that made you scared, you didn't want to get your hopes up only to be let down like before, much less for someone who you were in charged of keeping healthy and was fighting in a literal war, not knowing whether he'll make it back alive.

—Go to your room and get some rest—you told him, trying to make it sound like you were caring for him when in reality you were just caring for yourself.

He nodded with a smile, ignorant of the turmoil it caused on you and left after thanking you. This time you didn't wait to let go of a shaky breath, your hand flying to your mouth as you tried to calm yourself down, thinking that you were being extremely dramatic you moved to the open window and the smell of incoming rain calming down your nerves and numbing the turmoil in your head as you consciously focused on it, then you found a resolution to your problem, you would burry your feelings deep inside your heart and just become so insufferable that he wouldn't even want to live in the same place as you, but since he's been in the order for much longer than you Zed would fire you and you would explore the world or something, your plan was so good that you were ready to start it that very night.

Once darkness fell and a storm started you stood at the top of the stairs, your hair a mess as it covered your face, the hollering winds and the rain adding to the atmosphere, this right here was more than just a plan, this was retribution, this was vengeance. Kayn called your name and for a split second you heard him stutter, you had a very interesting although mostly useless ability to make a clicking noice with your throat and as you dragged your feet to the stairs while doing that noise you stared at him thru the hair covering your face, once it was time to actually go down the stairs you took inspiration from a very well known movie and turned and twisted your body in a way that you were going down the stairs in all fours with your back arched, the first couple of steps you went down carefully, not wanting to break your neck and become an actual ghost. By the time you reached about half way down the stairs you just suddenly picked up your speed and finally you heard him scream like he was getting his guts pulled out and dart away from you so fast that after a blink you couldn't see him anymore, when you actually reached the end of the stairs you stood up as upright as possible, feeling so many muscles in your back ache after the stunt you pulled but the sheer joy that it brought you made you forget about the pain. At first you tried your hardest not to laugh, even going as far as to cover your mouth with your hand, but you just couldn't keep it in and finally you laughed your ass off so hard your knees went weak, making you fall to the ground.

#kayn league of legends #kayn lol #kayn x reader #kayn #kayn x you #kayn x y/n

[sacrificethemtothesquid]

Hi! You always reblog really nice posts about mental health and writing, and I wanted to ask for advice! I’m struggling to focus on my writing. I spend the day thinking about scenes I want to improve etc, and when I can finally write I start doing something else, and then I waste my time with stupid shit on social media instead of doing what I wanted so badly! Do you have any tips that help concentrating? I turn off my Wi-Fi at times but my brain just keeps telling me to go check twitter or whatever, and I fall for it every time. :/ I write so slowly I lose a lot of nice stuff I make up in my head, I really wanted to get better at this. I love your blog, hope I’m not being annoying!!! Xxx

I am so sorry for the late response to this. I've been wrapped up in offline things and wanted to give you the proper consideration you deserve. You are absolutely not annoying - I'm sorry I've left you hanging for so long!

In terms of concentration, I don't know that I'm the best person to ask. I have an ADHD diagnosis and my meds help me focus. That's the simple answer, which I don't think is what you're hoping for.

BUT that being said, even with my meds, I also do the social-media-instead-of-writing thing and I completely understand how frustrating it is. I have ideas! They're good ones! But they evaporate the second I open the document, and to console myself, I seek out the instant dopamine of tumblr and pinterest, feeling guilty the entire time.

My question for you: are you trying to write everything in a straight line, or are you making notes for whichever scene is currently in your head? If I love a scene but I'm not there yet in terms of the overall story arc, I'll write that as it comes. I think of it as quilting: I come up with scenes like fabric squares, and then I can arrange and stitch them together as the narrative dictates. Sometimes they don't fit, and that's okay. Not all the fabric gets used in the quilt, but the simple act of writing benefits the whole. No writing is wasted.

There was a post here on tumblr that changed my entire outlook on living with ADHD, and it also applies to writing. I can't find the post right now, but it had to do with "junebugging": instead of forcing yourself to do a specific task, ie the dishes, you put yourself in the vicinity of the task, ie the kitchen, and putter around until you eventually get your hands in the sink. In the past, I would have been vicious to myself, cursing myself for my failure to just do the fucking thing, but if I'm a junebug - big and striped and a little dumb - I can bob around the lightbulb, occasionally harmlessly bonking against the glass in my single-minded pursuit of light. It's not my fault my executive function is fucked. It's just the way my brain is wired. Might as well embrace it.

It works for my writing too. If I'm not feeling particularly linear, I'll open the document and poke at what I've already written, or I'll brainstorm new stuff, or stitch some scenes together. I'd love to say I do this without judgement, because my therapist would be proud of me, but although I've gotten much better, I am still working on the whole "radical acceptance" thing.

And radical acceptance: it's hard. It's really hard, but it's so, so necessary. It can be true that you desperately want to write while also being true that you would much rather check twitter. These are not mutually exclusive. I want you to let go of that guilt, if you can. Like we say in my support group, if being hard on yourself worked, it would have worked by now.

Look at your writing. Ask yourself what is stopping you, what's got you snagged like a sleeve on a doorknob. Are you not sure how to proceed? Does the scene in your head not fit with what you've already written? A piece of advice I got years ago: if you're having a hard time writing a scene, the problem doesn't exist with the scene itself, it exists three pages back. It's like trying to solve a maze: sometimes if you get stuck in a corner, you have to backtrack and find a new path. This might mean getting rid of something you've written - don't delete it. Don't delete anything. Open a blank document and copy/paste it in there. Label this document "bits and pieces". You might be able to use those bits - those quilt squares - later. Another piece of advice: what exactly is the story you're trying to tell? I'm having issues with my novel. It's ostensibly a murder mystery, but the mystery part wasn't coming together until I admitted it wasn't really a murder mystery, but a love story between the protagonists. Admitting that let me change my focus from the whodunit - which I hadn't connected with and felt forced to continue - to the developing relationship, with the whodunit as the vehicle. Now it's working a lot better.

The last thing I'll say is that you might be burnt out. That's okay. Muscles can push against a weight for only so long, and creativity is the same. Are you dreading opening that document? Take a break from it. Junebug. Work on something else. Take a shower. Clean the sink. Read something else you've written. Read something written by someone else. A farmer can't work the same field all the time without the soil getting depleted. It needs some fallow time and maybe a nice cover crop to recover. This is part of the process.

Be kind to yourself, my friend. I hear a lot of pain in your voice and I want you to know that it's all right. It's going to be all right. Even if you're not writing right at this second, you are still a writer. You will always be. Every writer that ever lived has gone through what you're going through. You're never, ever alone.

Take care, and let me know how it goes.

#sorry this is so late #I hope by the time I wrote this #things are better for you #writing

[seleniangnosis]

Lesson of the year

Hello and welcome to my 'end of the year pac' 🎆. What I will be focusing on is providing some insight into an important lesson you've learnt this year, how it did impact you, and how it will provide itself useful for the coming year.

If you feel like this pac holds some information for you, pick the image you're most drawn to and take what resonates and/or applies to your life situation ☁️💜.

I wish all piles happy holidays , a happy new year and lots of success in 2023!

Hello pile one and welcome to your reading 💜☁️

Pile 1

The lesson you have learnt this year is that you aren't as weak as you thought you are. You used to have this idea that you need to wait for the " best" moment possible to take action, because the circumstances around you aren't favourable, but this only meant that you'll wait forever. Your mind was your worst enemy this year , and made you shy away from taking action, making decisions, it put you in a position of passivity and uncertainty, which further aggravated the way you used to perceive yourself.

You've managed to see how this mindset was affecting you, and managed to at least change it, in case you haven't yet made any big shifts in your life. You managed to see that facing your fears and starting to look into your future trough renewd lenses, makes your future to look less gloomy and dark as you used to see it. Sometimes the change has to start with you.

Learning this, has opened up the opportunity of feeling like you can truly change your circumstances, and filled you with hope for a new beginning. You might be at the very beginning, but this should not stop you from being optimistic and trying your best. In case you were self conscious about your talents, passions or anything creative, in the coming year you'll feel less concerned with what others say about you, because you've learnt to appreciate yourself instead of letting yourself feel victimised and not to seek external validation. This attitude will prove itself useful in creating long lasting results in regards to a new path you're going to follow. ( it can be career, studies, the way you see life,or even life in a general way)

Pile 2

Hello pile two and welcome to your reading 💜☁️

The lesson you learnt this year is that you can provide more than enough for yourself, rely upon yourself, and not sacrifice your emotional well-being, your confidence to please others, or that you don't need to stay around people with limiting beliefs who take advantage of you, just because they provide you with some sort of "comfort " like material one or emotional one. You've got a lot if court cards plus the devil, which made me think that you were stuck with someone, a male figure ( parent, family member or lover) because you neded a place to live or didn't have enough finances to move out, or you were somewhat emotionally dependent to them.

You might have been burdened by this person or group of people. Maybe you had to do something for them in order for you to still be able to be " seen " by them. It's possible that some of you have worked really hard behind close doors in order to achieve your freedom. You seem to have always been strong and dealt with everything like a pro internally/ emotionally, but the outside circumstances weren't that favourable.

This is going to help you further, in regards to finding either a relationship, or a group of people/ friends, you can relate to. People who accept you the way you are, without having to "buy" their love and respect. If not, you might simply be in a position where you will be free and able to enjoy yourself, do what you want , without imposed limits created someone else.

Pile 3

Hello pile three and welcome to your reading 💜☁️

The lesson you've learnt this year is letting go of what's no longer useful and helpful to you. You may have dealt with lack mentality issue, where you were unable to envision yourself in a better place. Based on the abundance of pentacle cards, this is related to money. Some of you were maybe setting for less than they deserved at work, and even dealt with conflicts with coworkers. Maybe you've have heard gossips about you, coworkers were always pointing out your flaws , or starting rumours about you. You've learnt that the money you receive isn't worth such a treatment and working in such environment, you decided it's time for something better, you deserve better.

It's also highly possible that you might have settled for this job out of not having a specific qualification, which required further development of skill + a paid course. You maybe thought that you should settle for some random job just for the sake of having a job not because you loved what you did.

I feel like you were definitely wasting your talent and skills, but the way you were treated made you doubt you could perform well in a different place or on a different job. The fact that you realised how you were wasting your potential, will open better opportunities for you, and you'll be able to recognise when you're taken for less than you are worth of. It's also highly possible that you might decide to take a course in order to better develop a certain skill, so you can find a better job that's not only better paid, but where people are more focused on work rather than personal conflicts and creating drama at the workplace.

#tarot reading #pac reading #tarot #free tarot #pick a card #pick a card reading #pick a photo #pick a pile #tarot pac

[password-door-lock]

Mystictober Day 25-- Frankenstein

“You need to rest, boss,” you breathe. Voicing this observation is a risk, and you know that, but it needs to be said. Unknown has been awake for more than two days, and if he doesn't go to sleep soon, he's going to end up passing out at his desk in the middle of coding. 

It's not one of your official assistant duties, but you consider it a part of your job to keep an eye on your boss's sleep schedule and to ensure that he is getting rest, at least occasionally. If it were up to you, he would be sleeping every night for six hours minimum, but if left to his own devices, you get the feeling that Unknown would do everything in his power to avoid resting altogether. The two of you have arrived at an unspoken compromise: he is willing to sleep for a few hours when his exhaustion starts to affect his work. You hope, perhaps in vain, that soon he'll start resting whenever he gets tired, but you know better than to push for such a drastic change before he's ready. “Hm,” Unknown replies, lethargically entering a few more lines of code. “Do I?”

Definitely, if he's exhausted enough to forgo the patronizing tone with which he normally addresses you, though you keep this observation to yourself. Unknown does not take kindly to any suggestion that he might harbor some kind of weakness, even if the vulnerability in question is one he shares with every other human being. “That redhead isn't going to catch up with you,” you assure him, anticipating the concerns which will tie him to his work. “I think he's sleeping, too. And even if he wakes up, you're way ahead.” You may not be an expert, but you can tell that 707 hasn't fought back against Unknown for at least two hours.

“Hm,” Unknown hums again, tightening his hold on you. He's behind you, but you don't need to see his face to know that it's a struggle for him to keep his eyes open. “You think you get to tell me what to do?”

“It's my job to assist you,” you point out. It's always an uphill battle getting him to acknowledge his own needs, but you are nothing if not persistent. “I've been keeping an eye on Luciel's activity. You should be safe to rest a little now.”

He sighs heavily, resting his chin on your shoulder. “Only for a little bit.” This is the closest that your boss is ever going to get to softness, when he's too tired to maintain the front he normally puts up. 

You know that he dreads falling asleep for any number of reasons— it's not just that he sees himself as a machine, nor is it only a function of his devotion to his revenge. Unknown rarely sleeps for more than three hours, but he never sets alarms— the nightmares wake him up before he can get anything resembling a good night's rest. You've been doing everything you can to try and alleviate them, but nothing seems to work very well. “Would you mind if I try something first?” You ask gently, rising from Unknown's lap and freeing him to follow you over to the couch.

Someday, you're going to convince him to track down a blanket, you decide, and a proper pillow, too. But you won’t push your luck tonight— besides, if Unknown is laying down without complaint, he must really be exhausted. “Hm,” he offers you yet another humming noise in response, so you elect to continue.

“It's just, sometimes it helps me to read before bed,” you explain, “And that way, I dream about the book instead of…” You trail off, hoping that he gets the picture. “So I thought I could read to you.” 

This is really a long shot— there's a high chance that Unknown will just tell you to shut up, or that he'll take your book away from you again out of spite. “Whatever,” he mutters, closing his eyes.

You can't imagine how tired he is. “Okay,” you tell him, scrambling for the drawer where he deposited the book you had in your bag on the day that he took you. Triumphantly, you return with a well-loved copy of Mary Shelley's Frankenstein. You have no idea why Unknown didn’t just throw it away— maybe he liked the idea of keeping something of yours just out of your reach. Normally, you wouldn’t be able to get into that drawer without him grabbing you by the wrist and dragging you away, after all. “Just relax and I'll read to you.”

Unknown groans. “I already said whatever. Do I have to tell you everything multiple times? You need to get better at—” He cuts himself off with a prolonged yawn. “At listening, assistant.” 

You have no interest in fighting him on that familiar refrain at this juncture, so you shrug your shoulders and concede. “Alright.” You establish yourself on the floor beside the couch and crack open your book. It's been forever since you've read aloud, so you hope you aren't too rusty. “'Letter one,'” you read, “'To Mrs. Saville, England. St. Petersburgh, December 11th, 17—' whatever.” You continue from there, trying your best to keep your tone gentle and soothing.

For all his grumbling, Unknown falls asleep before Victor Frankenstein is even introduced as a POV character, and although he wakes up after only five hours, that is nearly twice his usual amount of sleep. He doesn't say anything, but you get the feeling that reading to him as he fell asleep was helpful, and you silently pledge to continue the practice, so long as he allows it. Your job, after all, is to assist him.

#I mean it's a little bit related to the prompt at least #MM_mystictober2023 #mystic messenger #mystic messenger drabble

[the---hermit]

Goodbye 2022

I was tagged by the lovely @oneanxiousstudybuddy, I think this is a lovely idea, and I am always up to sit down and reflect.

What are things you've grown to like this year?

This year was dense on every level for me so I hope that my tiny brain will manage to take in consideration all these past months. Surely I will miss something when refllecting, but in general I feel like there has been a lot of changes for me. And I have never been good with things changing on any level, in the past couple of years I learned to understand the importance of change, but I think this was the year I finally started really appreciating change, even seeking it on certain levels. I have still a long way to go, but that is huge for me. I think it's also fair to say I am liking myself more and more, my confidence is not at the level of my goals yet, but it's so much more present than just last year or the year before. A new thing I have grown to like in the past few months and that I'd never have imagined to is going out. In the past few months I have gone out of my comfort zone socializing in a way that felt impossible just at the beginning of the year. I have awful social anxiety, but I am slowly learning how to work agains that without feeling miserable, and I feel like a new person, and I cannot wait for it to get better and better.

What are things you've learned this year?

I have learned a lot of stuff this year, that I can do anything I set my mind to, that I can actually enjoy things, and that I can learn how to be comfortable being myself. But the biggest lesson of the year has been that I do not have control over everything, in fact I have control on very little both in the good and in the bad things of life. The only thing I have control over is myself, how I react to things, and that should be where my energies go, the rest is not mine, I do not need to worry about it because I cannot physically do anything about it. This has been, and it's still an hard lesson for me, but I am slowly learning how to deal with it, and in a way I am also learning that it is a good thing not to be in control and responsable of everything. Another lesson life has given me this year, but that still needs to sink in properly into me is that life is too short to worry, not to do what you want, and not to do everything in your power to be happy.

What works did you enjoy this year, be it films, books or other art?

Some of the books that have been living in my brain ever since I read them this year are: Hamnet by Maggie O'Farrell, Her Body And Other Parties by Carmen Maria Machado, there's others but these two just stand out so much. I have particularly enjoyed Our Flag Means Death, which has very quickly become a comfort tv show. And believe it or not this year I also watched Over The Garden Wall for the first time, no idea how I managed to not watch it before. As in for music I think the artist I have listened to the most is probably Rain Paris, who does amazing rock covers, I am absolutely in love with her, everything she puts out is pure gold. i am surely orgetting to mention something, but these are the first things that came to mind.

Is there something you're still looking forward to this year?

You bet I do. I am finally on my "months of rest and relaxation", meaning I am taking a few months off university before staring my master's classes next year on the second semester. I totally could have (and should have) started right after graduating, but I refused to. I do not care at all about starting late, and I feel like I deserve a while to rest before getting back into studying. I want to, and I think it will halp me being energized and happy about studying again. I have not any goals for this few months it will just be trying to do anything that feels right without forcing in onto myself.

What would you like to see happening next year?

I have no idea. I hope I'll continue on this path of growth, I hope I'll get new oportunities, and I hope I'll get to do things I enjoy and I am happy about. I want to be at peace when I wak up in the morning, and I want to be enthusiastic about what I do. Am I trying to manifest? Probably, so don't mind me.

Thank you so so much for tagging me in this @oneanxiousstudybuddy, it was really therapeutic! I tag (no pressure) @peregrination-studies, @contre-quie, @bulletnotestudies, @lau-and-history, @aesukhia and whoever feels like doing this!

#tag #tag game #tagged #goodbye 2022 #2022 reflection #reflecting #self #care #journaling #cris speaks #the---hermit

[barry-j-blupjeans]

22!

22. “You made me a better person. Thank you.”

((50 fluff prompts - still accepting!!))

--

"Magnus?" Julia asked, leaning towards him. There sitting on a hillside a little further away from Raven's Roost than they usually would. In the past few years that Magnus has known Julia, she never wanted to stray too far from town. With all the laws and restrictions Governor Kalen put in place, it was hard to justify being this far out anyway. Magnus knew that wouldn't have stopped Julia normally, but the idea of something happening in town without her being able to step in kept her nearby at all times.

It had been a week since they beat Governor Kalen and power truly returned to the people who lived in Raven's Roost. A week since their last battle, since they escorted Kalen from the town and drilled into him what would happen if he should return. A whole week.

Magnus felt lighter than he had in a long, long time.

"Hm?"

"You okay?" Julia asked, squeezing his shoulder.

A revolution is not the place to fall in love. And yet, here they were. After years and years of hard-fought battles and losing friends, here they were.

"Yeah," Magnus said, turning away from Raven's Roost. "Yeah, I'm good. I was, uh, I was just thinking."

"Dangerous," Julia said.

"Shut up," Magnus said, nudging her shoulder with his. She laughed. The sun was setting against the sun behind her and it made Magnus's eyes burn a little bit, but he didn't care. She looked so beautiful.

"Seriously, though," she said. "What's up?"

"I- I just was thinking..." Magnus said. He took a deep breath, trying to remember everything he wanted to say. Steven had pulled him aside yesterday to talk to him about this but all Magnus could remember were the words: speak from your heart. Okay. Okay. He could do this.

"When I first came to Raven's Roost," Magnus began. "I was, uh. Kind of an asshole." Julia snorted and Magnus grinned, a little abashed all the same. "I was! I didn't realize it, but I was. I thought that I could do everything by myself and that I was like, the "strong one" because, y'know, I'm pretty strong."

"Wow, I never noticed."

"I've worked very hard to make this look al naturale," Magnus said, raising an arm and kissing his bicep. Julia rolled her eyes. "But, uh, back on track. I thought I was like, the best person ever. And while I still do think that-" (there was a little "ha!" from Julia here) "-now I can be more, uhm, okay if I'm not? And accepting that I- I'm just doing my best, like everyone else. But for a while there I was very... not nice to be around."

"That's one way to put it," Julia said.

"Yeah," Magnus said. "Uhm, and I guess I just wanted to... thank you. Because you were the first person who has ever really like... made me see how I was acting. Which was like an asshole. And you didn't have any tolerance for it, which made me kinda angry at the time, but now I'm like... yeah. That was the right thing to do. Uhm, you- Julia, you made me a better person. Thank you. I couldn't have grown into who I am today without you."

Julia looked momentarily stunned, like she hadn't been expecting that. Which like, yeah, fair. Magnus contained before he lost his nerve.

"Not only did you help me realize how shitty I was acting," Magnus said. "You changed the way I saw everything. You- you made me realize I didn't have to be bigger or meaner than a bully to get them to leave me alone, I just had to be smart about it. And I had to have people on my side who I could trust on and depend on. And through all of that- and all of our planning, and meetings, and everything- I started to realize that I liked you more than just as a friend.

"I will never, never stop being grateful that you gave me a chance. Not just as a person, but as a battle partner, and as your boyfriend. There is no one else in the world who I love more than you, Julia. You've shown me life doesn't have to just be this- this dark, depressing thing, always me against the world. The world's not always gonna be against me and- and people aren't always gonna be against me.

"And I know that when they are, when someone is trying to make the world worse or put me down, I know you're gonna be there. And I know that no matter what, I want to be there for you, too, Julia. Which is why I wanted to ask-" Magnus took a deep breath, reaching into his pocket. He pulled out a wooden duck, which made Julia split into a grin. Carefully, he twisted the duck around the middle and it popped open, revealing a wooden ring.

"Julia Waxmen," Magnus says. "Will y-"

"Yes!" Julia said, launching herself at him. Magnus toppled back onto their picnic blanket, laughing. Julia sat up quickly, straddling his legs. The ring had flown out of his hand and onto the grass, but she didn't seem to care. "Yes! Yes, of course-"

Magnus laughed, pulling her down on top of him to get a kiss. She pressed her lips to hers and they were both smiling into it. When Julia pulled back, she looked almost angelic, silhouetted against the sun, with her hair loose and frizzy. Magnus tucked a strand behind her ear and she caught his hand, kissing his knuckles. Magnus couldn't stop grinning.

"I love you," he said. She hoisted him up, so they were sitting with her half in his lap. She kissed him again, a bit more sweet this time.

"I love you," she said. "You- you're right, you were an asshole. And you still kinda are-"

"Hey!"

"But in a way I love," Julia assured. "I love who you've become and I'm- you're lucky? I'm lucky, Magnus. You've- ughghgh-" she wiped a tear away and her smiling was shaking slightly from the strain on her cheeks. She leaned in and kissed him again. "I love you."

"I love you too," Magnus said. Another kiss. "I'm gonna marry you." His heart did a little dance inside his chest and he swooped her up into a big hug, toppling them over the other way. "I'm gonna marry you, Julia!"

"I'm gonna marry you, Magnus!" she said, delighted. "Can we- shit, where'd we put the ring?"

Magnus laughed, leaning in to kiss her again.

"We'll find it in a sec," Magnus said. Another kiss. And then another.

"It's gonna get dark soon!"

"I love you," Magnus said and she just laughed, loud and bright and perfect, and pulled him in by his shirt for one more kiss.

#magnulia #magnus burnsides #julia burnsides #julia waxmen #taz #mine #asks #anon #ise cube writing #i dont think it needs a read more but i said i was gonna put anything over 1k under a cut n i intended to keep that promise sdlfs

[kangaracha]

🍜🍡🍚

🍜 Do you ever feel pressured to write?

this made me think so hard lmao. i don't think i've ever felt pressured to write specifically, like in the context of feeling like i absolutely need to finish this next chapter on time or whatever? i'm really aware these days of when i need to rest, push myself to not be lazy and write to see results later, and find time to let a full idea tank rip out 3k, and i don't really care about people on ao3 not being able to wait until i'm done lol

the only pressure i feel re: writing is the need to schedule time for it when i have such limited hours to offer it. i've been battling recently with the idea of needing to. rank my priorities and give time to hobbies that are important to me and neglect the ones that aren't. currently i'm trying to commit to 400 words a day on 4tw, but i need to start writing as soon as i get home, because my brain starts to melt after a couple of hours and i can't write then, and that's. sticking to that is hard sometimes. knowing that i'll only write 50 words and fall asleep if i relax and watch tiktoks instead of going straight from work to imaginary work. this was a tanget off topic. anyway.

🍡 Which of your fics was the most emotionally difficult to write?

without a doubt, part 3 and 4 of The Slaughter Of The Lambs, the assassin's creed fic. i set the plot of this fic out following canon, which means the end is. not particularly happy. i also set this fic out to explore how circumstances and people change over the course of a lifetime, and idk i once described it as 'living the life you've been given' which i think is what i'm trying to say.

the point is, i wrote these two parts of this story that are like shining, golden years, innocence of childhood, the bright future ahead. part two is just a whole ass coming of age romance. and then there was a day when i reread everything i've written so far and the things i've put down for part 3 and 4 were just so grim and gutwrenching. like the first parts were painted in bright colours and the last two were just tones of grey. and i sat there and i thought about these characters and i just don't know anymore if i can really do it or if changing the ending to be happy would be a betrayal to the hard truth of the story. and that's part of why i haven't turned back to that fic yet, because i'm still stewing on whether i change it or leave it or write two fucking endings so that not everyone has to cry.

🍚 What genre do you have the toughest time writing?

Fluffy, slice of life, or anything uhhhhhhh what's john green's genre hang on. google doesn't know. yknow, those sorts of stories where the character work is really, really forefront, not playing off an equally complex plot, which is more what i excel at.

also romance. i've been deliberately trying to play with different romances (pretty, my hand in yours, tgbyb) trying to make it something i'm more flexible at. i think i'm getting better?

#i love you sm do you know that? #i don't deserve you #in like a casual way

[sweettsubaki]

People who say Horikoshi would be a coward if he brought Bakugou back do not understand anything to writing

Cowardice would mean not going through with his plans because he felt threatened by something.

So first things first, Horikoshi said he was allowed to finish the manga however he wanted now since it's almost over and WSJ doesn't try to keep series on forever anymore. So the "cowardice" thing wouldn't be likely in that sense.

Now in story.... The basic concept of BnHA is an hommage to super hero comics. If you've read comics you know that death isn't permanent in those (one of the longest lasting was Barry Allen for 23 years IRL and like... 6-8 years in world) with very few exceptions. So while I'm not saying Horikoshi abides to it, I still think it's an important concept to remember when going into these kinds of stories. The "they were brought back to life" , the "their death was faked", the "they were just injured but no one knew whether it was actually deadly", the "they were healed just in time", the "they were put in stasis"... They're all common tropes in fiction but especially so in comics.

Which brings us to the concept of a cliffhanger. It's a writing device to keep readers on their toes and make them want to know either "what happens next". It cuts in the middle of a climax. Bakugou is on the verge of death so far. He's not actually dead yet because the scene was cut before we got confirmation. (Because Horikoshi knew what he was doing to his readers and is enjoying it.)

As I said....cowardice means not going through and changing your plans. While the tragedy of Katsuki's death when his character arc is not finished would make the death work on an emotional level for the readers, the plot would not be better for it, quite the opposite as Horikoshi treating his Deuteragonist only as Deku development fodder would not be great writing (not saying he wouldn't still be fodder for Deku's development, he just wouldn't only be that). There's only one instance where he wouldn't just be fodder and serve the plot directly if he died and it would require his consciousness to still be around for a conversation... Honestly I'd find that to be meh at best. Point is, I highly doubt his death was the point of this storyline. It seems to be more something along the lines of "this is where Katsuki's at right now so we can see how he's gonna evolve again" and either "How he is not going to die? " or "how is his /near/death gonna provoke this quirk reveal" to go with it. So to Horikoshi reversing Bakugou's death/showing he isn't actually dead would be his plan. aka not cowardice.

Especially considering there's the simple concept of consistency with the worldbuilding and with the themes. With everything that Horikoshi has established in his world, there are so many possibilities to move the plot, develop the themes of the story as well as its thesis by keeping Katsuki alive. Much more than by him dying here. The save to win/win to save dichotomy (and Katsuki learning to save while Izuku learns to win especially when faced with ShigarakAFO), the various quirks and the versatility of their use, 2nd's quirk, Deku and Bakugou's parallel to Shigaraki, Katsuki representing society and its capacity for change, Katsuki taking Deku's hand, ect... (seriously I've barely breached the surface here).

So from a narrative standpoint, his death makes little sense. I'm not saying it's impossible for Horikoshi to have actually killed him, just that he'd reduce his possibilities by doing that and that he rarely exposes themes and worldbuilding without acting on it (Chekov's gun and what not). He may not be the best at writing his ideas but he almost always follow through with what he's given the audience. He also particularly loves the bait and switch technique.

There's also the idea that killing a character is brave or whatever. Well to a lot of writers that's not the case. So long as a character's death isn't necessary for the plot to advance or to develop themes, then they can be tortured used. And it's more fun from a writer's PoV. A good character is a character that has a use. A dead characters can be used to torture develop another one but even then, it often limits its possibilities. That's not always the case of course, sometimes it allows for greater use than would have otherwise been possible, but that's the thing, it should be dependent on weighing whether the death is actually worth it to move your story and characters along and not on a very subjective 'bravery' factor.

#BnHA 362 #Writing #it's messy 'cause I'm tired