fredicancompose - Tumblr blog

fredicancompose · 1 month

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So I'll ask the skies our photographs as they captured our pictures with the flash of thunder.

#love #aesthetic #dark academia #poem #philosophy #poems #poetry #spilled ink #words #tumblr #lit #literature #chaotic academia #writblr

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fredicancompose · 1 month

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Our love at the start, seemed to be so sweet;

But now, it became a forbidden fruit to eat!

- Fredi

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fredicancompose · 1 month

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We could've healed one another, yet we lied that time will.

~ Fredi

#love #poem #dark academia #philosophy #poems #poetry #spilled ink #words #tumblr #lit #literature #inspiring quotes #quote of the day #relationship quotes

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fredicancompose · 1 month

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"Like the stars miss the sun's warm glow

My love for you remains within, even if I never show"

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fredicancompose · 1 month

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Maybe we are unique, maybe we are not just people, but art museums displaying vivid colours.

- Fredicancompose

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fredicancompose · 1 month

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I built the walls to be forgotten, but all I ever wanted was to be found.

- Fredrick Fabian

#writing #poem #love #dark academia #poetry #spilled ink #poems #philosophy #words #tumblr #motivation #love quotes #original #Shakespeare #light academia #chaotic academia #aesthetic #writers on tumblr #80s

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fredicancompose · 2 months

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"Sometimes, the silence screams more than the mouth ever could."

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fredicancompose · 2 months

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I know we have a lot of indifference, but under the moon we appear blue. It'll just be you, me, the pale moon lights.

~Fredi

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fredicancompose · 2 months

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You were the poem, that I tried reciting all these days.

#poem #love #aesthetic #motivation #motivational quotes #poetry #literature #quotes #relationship quotes #words #spilled ink #inspiring quotes #quoteoftheday

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fredicancompose · 9 months

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“On my campus i noticed these cute things” The Final Part

But this is how the story ends

The tale behind, "Im sorry, I'm late"

All these days i wrote these stories with all hopes that be receiving the same love that i always spared. But, this is the time to peacefully move on with a story which will haunt anyone. Im sorry, i didn't want anyone to feel concerned about how i am right now. If im posting this, it implies im fine. We love, we heal, we learn, stay strong!

#poem #darkacademia #lightacademia #lightacademiaaesthetic #tumblr #microtales #academia #tales #aesthetic

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fredicancompose · 9 months

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And at one point, my mind lingered, wanting to spend more time listening to the ocean waves, spending more time in the cold-breeze-strummed fields, and holding wild flowers in my hands. I desired more nights where I sleep under the moonlight and wake up to my favorite drink.

#tumblr #darkacademia #darkacademiaaesthetic #lightacademia #lightacademiaaesthetic #academia #classicliterature #bookstagram #literature #poetry #chaoticacademia #hozier #thesecrethistory #oscarwilde #shakespeare #deadpostssociety #cottagecare #romantism

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fredicancompose · 9 months

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Don’t promise that you’ll stay forever. Just tell me that it'll be just us, leaning on the chair when you're grey and old! Tell me that it'll be you who will maintain our garden while I plow the grass.

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...

“On my campus i noticed these cute things” But this is how the story ends

The truth behind “I’m sorry, I’m late”

After a long vacation, they met outside the college one day, she was 30 minutes late, she hugged him with apologies “I’m Sorry, im late!” he picked her few flowers, and she was so happy, two butterflies surrounded the flowers as they were talking. They spent the evening together, and they were surprised to see a bunch of fireflies swarming them.

Leaning onto his chest and listening to his heartbeat she said “You’re my firefly, you came in my darkest spot and gave me light, and I’ll be your butterfly, I’ll be there as long as the sun shines.” The flowers didn’t fade yet, so he smelled it, and she noticed there was blood running down his nose. After checking with the doctor, it came to the conclusion that his heart is quite weak to process fragrance from perfumes or flowers anymore.

He had an odd disorder he’ll suffer extensive nosebleeds if he ever gets depressed, extremely happy or everybody in his family knew his condition and they were soft with him, as they knew what would happen if he’s feeling low. And this is where she met him, at his lowest, she gave him hope, and having her in his life she grew a lot! They studied together, he was a loner who was poor when it comes to travel, but she made him explore more places with her. They fell apart sometimes, but destiny united them back each time.

Apart from these sweet memories he lived a stressful life. He felt an imbalance with his work, personal life, family and there were times where he found out that he was a reason for his loved one's tears. He tried dialing his friends, but they were occupied with their works. And whenever he started to speak about how he was mentally feeling, he noticed that he was draining their happiness through his vent. He was unaware what he's upto face will change his life forever.

3.

He started noticing the word “suicide” everywhere he went. He loved eating foods, but when he tried all his favorite food he could sense no sort of happiness. He tried working out, journalizing, travelling on his own but none of these activities made him happy. He loved sleeping, but there were disturbances in his sleep cycle, which led him have sleep paralysis thrice within a hour of sleep.

He woke up each time gasping for air! He was unsure if he will wake the next day, so he started to express how much he loved his loved ones. But unfortunately, all the people he loved were going through something. So they weren’t able to react well to him. This only made him look stupid and worthless.

In the mornings he witnessed multiple hallucinations, deprivations and panic attacks. Which made him feel vulnerable. He had a feel where something screamed inside his head, but silently.

4.

He took his diary, surfed back all the sweet memories he encountered in his life. But, he sadly couldn't relate to it anymore. There were people who called him an observer, maybe that's why he wrote beautiful poetries, but in the end being an observer, it rewarded him nothing but heartaches.

In the end, all the good memories he had made him feel upset, and made him feel worthless.

Sooner he realized that all the wisdom, knowledge and the skills he had was fading due to low attention span. And he noticed he was becoming more of a boring person, whatever he said made no sense, and he couldn't do anything but to go through this depressive phase. And the inferiority that others will be bored if the converse became a big reason why he went silent with everyone. This slowly killed his sweetness and filled his heart with numbness.

5.

Ultimately, he never payed attention to every good thing that was happening to him. He loved flowers, but he can’t smell it. His attention span dropped down, to an extent where he couldn't yawn back after seeing a person yawning! He was suffering continuous fever, and he lost a couple of weight naturally.

Followed by these unshakeable miseries, he was partially convinced that taking his life is the ultimate solution. But, he survived for his family and his lover, he didn't wanna let them down. But at one point he felt "Am i living for others even now? Am i satisfying everybody's happiness and never paying attention to what I've become? I think suicide isn't selfish. It's self destructive end, which leads to forever peace." And he lived some days just to be a sunshine to his loved one. But he was counting the reasons why he is imperfect to recieve any love, and he found out that he was the reason why they were fighting for a long time.

6.

He stopped writing, for everytime he started to write he started writing about suicide. And he couldn't express how he felt with his lover. As she was going through a lot of personal struggles. He wanted to text her and ask if everythings alright, but also on the other hand he was upset that none of his words would motivate anyone anymore! This made him uncomfortable to breathe, he felt very heavy. And, he woke up many times the same night having panic attacks, he didn’t utter what he was going through at his home, as he is aware he will disappoint them as well.

During this time, he witnessed his friends were depressed. He checked on them, and he tried motivating them, they weren't motivated and they asked "Is everything alright with you? It feels like you're going through something, but you're not saying that!" Everybody were obviously sure that something was wrong with him, but he didn’t wanna disappoint anyone telling how he felt inside.

7.

It was night again, he reached the bed with a lot of burdens and tears. A flashback of his childhood, passed before his eye! He was silent with his struggles, and in the end, he died of a silent heart attack. His family found he was lifeless, he was all blue and pale, and his hands were cold.

She didn’t receive his texts for 3 days, she was clueless and concerned, and his mother informed her about his unexpected death. She visited his tomb, but it was too late. She rested many flowers which attracted the attention of the nearby butterflies, with tears she whispered “I’m Sorry, im late!” Beside his name, she wrote "A lover with a heart", it was his last wish for the world to know that he had a heart. All that his friends and the other people saw was his cold heart, except for her. His final wish came true!

#moon

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fredicancompose · 9 months

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Sometimes, you need to lose you to love them. Is this love, or am i risking my originality to make it worth it?

#love #dark academia #darkacademia #sad #poetry #sadness #heartbreak #pinterest #depression

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fredicancompose · 11 months

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On my campus, there are some cute things that i noticed - Part 10

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fredicancompose · 11 months

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They were on a long distance relationship, one fine night he said:

"When you're close, I'd rather hold you in my arms than have this phone in my hand because I'm sick of seeing you on all these rectangular screens."

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fredicancompose · 11 months

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The library was quiet, with only the sound of pages turning and the occasional cough from a nearby reader breaking the silence. He leaned in closer, feeling the warmth of her body against his. They exchanged whispered words and fleeting glances. Whether they were reading or not, the time spent together was priceless, and they never wanted to leave.

Couple 2:

Somewhere nearby the exam library her eyes focused on the portion she's yet to cover. He couldn't resist to lean in and steal a kiss, and she giggled and said "it's public!!" in response. They were both studying for their finals, but they couldn't help stealing glances at each other, everytime she turned the pages.

The way she adjusted her hair as she concentrated on the book in her hands was <3.

The library was a place of quiet concentration, but their love made it come alive. They shared earphones and listened to music together, exchanging smiles when a particularly romantic song came on. The scent of books and the quiet hum of the air conditioning provided a windy atmosphere, but they didn't need it to feel at peace. They were in love, and that was all that mattered.

After a long fight, they met somewhere nearby the canteen, they sat down on a stone bench. He was completely out of ideas on what to talk next. He was a loner while she was quite the opposite. Though they both had nothing to talk, they shared strong glances, they were fluent with silence but filled with love.

They were outside the college, it was somewhere around 7.47, she said "I'm pieces of all places, am i even remembered? Will you remember me when I'm gone?" To which he said, "The moonlight, the smell of coffee, scent from books, places, late nights, deep conversations, and my shadows in the absence of yours will kill me softly."

"You're not just a visitor to me, you're something different, you became my life!"

She hugged him with all her heart.

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fredicancompose · 1 year

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And i tried writing your name in the paper, but it's too wet with all my tears.

#poem #darkacademia #love #hate #stoic #philosophy

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