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#'she says i love u girl. i love her more. barbie youre so fine u blow my mind' NO HETEROSEXUAL EXPLANATION

h4m1lt0ns · 6 months

Text

HEARTBREAK SYNDROME.

episode nine :: LIFE’S GOOD

꒰꒰◌‧₊ ⬪˙⋆ pairing ︴max verstappen x ex!y/n (barely), multiple x y/n

꒰꒰◌‧₊ ⬪˙⋆ genre ︴social media au / irl snippets

꒰꒰◌‧₊ ⬪˙⋆ summary ﹔something is brewing at the Y/l/n Records HQ

꒰꒰◌‧₊ ⬪˙⋆ face claim ﹔ wonyoung jang (28)

꒰꒰◌‧₊ ⬪˙⋆ warnings ﹕ SO much happens, worlds colliding on twitter, excessive cussing.

y/n

♡ liked by lewishamilton, lilymhe, landonorris and 7,205,638 more.

y/n fried my hair last night lol 🌟 blame goes fully to ﹫lilymhe and ﹫alexalbon

2,205,593 comments.

username SO FINE 😩😩😩😩

username one singular chance i beg mother

username THIS BARBIE IS INSANE.

username 😍😍😍😍😍

lilymhe i think you slayed honestly

➜ y/n so true

username THANK YOU LILY THANK YOU ALEX

username HUBBA HUBBA IM IN LOVE

username YOU LOOK SO GOOD ITS SICKENINGGGGGG 😩

username mommy????????????????????

username oh

username oh my god

alexalbon we ate that

➜ y/n devoured even

carlossainz55 yessss french fries look 😍

➜ y/n omfg bitch 😭

username OOOOHHHHHHHHH

username OMFG BARBIE?????

username DKAKEKFKSOWLSKFKW

margotrobbie hi barbie!

➜ y/n hi barbie!

username omgomgomgomgimgomgomg

aussiegrit 😍😍

➜ username I-

➜ username jesus christ he’s down BAD

➜ username twin 😍

username OWAHHHHHHHH

username MOTHER OMFG 😍😍😍😍😍😍

fernandoalo_oficial bonita 😍

➜ username NANDO???????

➜ username ANOTHER DILF OMFG I CANT

➜ username OH MY FUCKING GOD

➜ username i would fold so quick i’m not even joking

➜ username why am EYE blushing??????

username FELL TO MY KNEES.

username OMGFOGMFOMGFOMGHFIMMH

username single just for you y/n 😩😩😩

lewishamilton dolly 💗

[liked by y/n]

➜ username i would’ve crumbled.

➜ username folded like an omelette, scrambled like an egg

➜ username his comment got ME blushing dawg

username holy fucking fuck what the fuck oh my god fuck

username GORGEOUS

username BLONDE HAIR??? IS HEARTBREAK SYNDROME ERA OVER ALREADY???

[liked by y/n]

francisca.cgomes yes.

➜ y/n like what u see baby 🫣

theweeknd 🍟

➜ y/n all of u are BULLIES

carmenmmundt prettiest girl

➜ y/n omg bae i’m blushing 🤭

☆ IMESSAGE with : BOARD OF DIRECTORS.

honey badger: Y/NNNNNN

chal eclair: BAE AMSWER ME

babygirl alex: wait what’s going on

alabono: WE NEED DETAILSSSS

angel carmen: huh

wifey lily: why are the boys yelling

yukino: WE NEVER FOUND OUT WHAT HAPPENED AT THE DINNER WITH JENSON, LEWIS AND MARK

my baby lando: MOTHER WHERE ARE YOU

princess george: OMFG BITCH PICK UP

girlfriend kika: we got the tea baes relax 😌

PIERRE GASLYYYY: WOWWWWWWW OKAY

honey badger: WHY ARE WE THE LAST TO FIND THINGS OUT

angel carmen: bc we’re her girlfriends 🤨

babygirl alex: exactly 🥰

chili!: y/n 😀

chili!: bae 😄

chili!: your time will come.

chal eclair: kika, you shall come forth.

chal eclair: speak the truth you hide.

babygirl alex: taking that lord perceval real serious huh

my baby lando: LMFAO

princess george: LMAOOOO

alabono: stfu y’all i’m tryna understand

girlfriend kika: funny enough nothing REALLY happened

angel carmen: yeah they just hung out and talked

wifey lily: oh and jenson was flirty w y/n

my baby lando: yeah we saw the photos

babygirl alex: they went out as a way to cheer lewis up bc his team didn’t show up for him

angel carmen: i dont know what’s going on between y/n and lewis but she said lewis got kinda jealous when mark and jenson were casually flirting w her

my baby lando: oh????

PIERRE GASLYYYY: jealous you say

honey badger: HMMMMM

chili!: right ????

chal eclair: it’s actually soOOoo

alabono: it isssss

princess george: speaking of lewis

princess george: apparently him and y/n are like hanging out

yukino: wait what???

my baby lando: wdym

princess george: wait did you not see y/n’s story??? they’re on his yacht in monaco

y/n added to their story!

seen by lewishamilton, jensonbutton and 98,295,194 more.

lewishamilton replied to your story!

😍😍😍

come be hot in front of me

jensonbutton replied to your story!

pretty pretty girl

aussiegrit replied to your story!

my boat next?

sebastianvettel replied to your story!

what a sight you are schatz

fernandoalo_oficial replied to your story!

you’re coming to the japanese gp right?

☆ IMESSAGE with : BOARD OF DIRECTORS.

chili!: WOAHHHH I JUST SAW IT

yukino: WHATS GOING ONNNNNN

babygirl alex: she’s so fucking hot, first of all

angel carmen: no bc i just stared at her 😍

wifey lily: I KNOWWWW

girlfriend kika: she’s so 😩😩😩

babygirl alex: BUT LEWIS???

chal eclair: SHE TAGGED HIM???

babygirl alex: PUBLICLY???

alabono: NOW WHATS GOING ON

my baby lando: KIKA EXPLAIN

girlfriend kika: IM JUST AS SHOOK AS YALL

angel carmen: I NEED TO KNOW

princess george: i was hoping the girls knew something abt that 😭😭😭

honey badger: Y/N GET IN HERE

honey badger: Y/N OMFG

chili!: BRO I KNOW YOURE SEEING THIS ANSWER US

wifey lily: DID HE ASK YOU OUT

my baby lando: IS IT A DATE???

girlfriend kika: IS ROSCOE THERE??

PIERRE GASLYYYY: ARE YALL ONE ON ONE??

alabono: Y/N TEXT US BACK OMFG

wifey lily: SHE’S NOT ANSWERING MY FT CALLS

girlfriend kika: SHE’S NOT ANSWERING ME EITHER

princess george: Y/N I NEED ANSWERS

my baby lando: Y/N PLS

y/n: give her a minute

chili!: HUH

yukino: YO WHAT THE FUCK

chal eclair: give HER a minute???

my baby lando: oh so we’re being cryptic now???

y/n: No.

my baby lando: don’t text me in that tone 😭

PIERRE GASLYYYY: ¿¿¿¿

honey badger: what the hell is going on

y/n: she’s busy

angel carmen: NOW HOLD AWN

angel carmen: HOLDDDD ONNNN

angel carmen: LEWIS????????

y/n: yeah

y/n: dw y/n’s okay she’s with me

my baby lando: what do u want from my mum 🤨

chili!: what he said 🤨

chal eclair: yeah what he said 🤨

y/n: lol relax

y/n: we’re just hanging out

wifey lily: sir, give me my gf back.

y/n: your girlfriend??

babygirl alex: our*

angel carmen: our*

girlfriend kika: our*

y/n:…

y/n: we’ll see

alabono: FYM????

honey badger: HELLO???

princess george: SIR???

girlfriend kika: guys they’re all over twitter omg

mercedesamgf1 and y/l/nestate

♡ liked by lewishamilton, georgerussell63, y/n and 14,604,295 more.

mercedesamgf1 We here at Mercedes are extremely honoured and proud to announce that Y/L/N RECORDS is our brand new sponsor! Grammy and Oscar winning Singer and Song writer, Y/n Y/l/n has always been a huge Formula 1 fan, and a close friend to George, Lewis and many other drivers on the grid. She’s shown constant support throughout the years and her love and passion for the sport is what drew us to her (and so did her iconic, groundbreaking discography 😉). Y/L/N RECORDS is now proudly our biggest sponsor, and Y/n Y/l/n will be the official Mercedes AMG Petronas Formula 1 team Brand Ambassador as of today and moving forward. A huge, huge thank you and congratulations goes to ﹫Y/n, ﹫Y/L/NEstate and the Mercedes AMG Petronas Formula 1 Team! Welcome to the grid Y/L/N RECORDS ⭐️

tagged: y/n, y/l/nestate.

comments on this post have been limited.

lewishamilton champagne for everyone on me

➜ y/n omfg yes please???

➜ lewishamilton alcoholic ass

➜ y/n i don’t like u.

➜ lewishamilton liar.

➜ y/n hm.

jensonbutton so proud of you y/n

➜ y/n 🥹🖤

sebastianvettel congratulations to our sweetheart y/n

➜ y/n love u seb

y/n can’t wait for the future with you guys 🥹

carlossainz55 YESSS MORE Y/N ON THE GRID

➜ y/n YESSSSSSSSSS

charles_leclerc oh my god oh my god yes.

➜ y/n i’m so excited u have no clue

landonorris Y/N 24/7??? YES PLEASE

➜ y/n YES SIR 🔥🔥🔥

danielricciardo best thing that’s happened this season

➜ y/n after your comeback actually ☝️🤓

astonmartinf1 love the colour scheme 😉 congratulations to everyone!

scuderiaferrari ❤️❤️❤️

#f1 fanfiction #f1 x y/n #f1 smau #f1 x reader #f1 x you #carlos sainz x reader #charles leclerc x reader #lewis hamilton x reader #lando norris x reader #daniel ricciardo x reader #max verstappen x reader #mark webber x reader #fernando alonso x reader #alex albon x reader #pierre gasly x reader #yuki tsunoda x reader #toto wolff x reader #☆ — ¡h4m1lt0ns!˚⁎⁺˳ .#george russell x reader

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dwindlinghaze · 10 months

Note

Hello! Soo I was wondering if I could request a RemusxReader oneshot/blurb with this scenario. Hear me out:

Reader openly talking to the girls about her crush on Remus she as had for years and just being so casual talking about how much she likes him and thinks he's amazing and hot, and how much she loves him (practically me simping for Rem) and she isn't embarrassed cuz she's known Lily and Marlene for years and they're used to talk like that and tease each other kindly (they usually do it to Lily). But they don't know that Remus and the boys are "accidentally" listening to their conversation.

Lmk what you think! Thankyou ly, byebye <3

moon river

(remus lupin x reader)

contents : fluff, the marauders being nosy af and eavesdropping, bad writing and not proofread :(

a/n : hello anon!!! ty so so much for the request and im so so sorry for taking so long in writing it. but hey i am here and im at your service ;) i rly hope u like this and it fulfilled what you asked for ☁️☁️

　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

"[y/n] are you free tonight? or does loverboy has to take you away before midnight?" marlene said, linking your arms together as you two walked inside the common room.

"yes... why?"

"charms."

"charms?"

"assignment."

"oh-"

"yes."

"charms assignment that you need me to help you with?"

"obviously,"

"ah fine," you eyes slowly averted to the smile of none other that remus lupin. your mind goes fuzzy all of a sudden. he was joking and laughing with james in front of the fireplace. "he looks so happy today," you whispered to yourself, smiling.

"aww, you care about his happiness! just make out already," marlene said, wiggling her thick brows.

"that's one step beyond. not ethical," you shook your head in a mocking manner. "where's lily by the way? is she up here already?"

marlene shrugged as she opened the door to the dormitory, letting the warm air hit both of their faces.

later that night, you were helping marlene out on the charms essay and let's just say... it wasn't going as planned.

"marl, it's not how it is. you have to read the whole thing first then make your own summary about it so professor flitwick won't accuse you of plagiarism."

"but there's too many! why isn't there a charms to shorten paragraphs," she whined like a child on the sidewalk when their moms didn't get ice cream.

"liliana, help me over here. marl doesn't want to read,"

"i doing my eye mask, can't stand up," she reasoned stupidly.

"eye masks stick to your under eyes. yes you can stand up without them falling off. i wish remus was here, he can probably summarise four pages in just two minutes, he's incredibly smart," you closed your little tired eyes.

"if remus was here, he wont be teaching me anything, he would be too busy with you," marlene scoffed, although she is teasing.

"that's right," lily agreed. "remember this morning when [y/n] dropped mashed potatoes on his head? he didn't even blame her! he was blushing."

"also in dada, didn't you see remus was basically mumbling a mantra to be partnered up with [y/n], that's so sweet," marlene continued in a teasing voice, her charms assignment completely tossed of to the side.

you think to yourself, a conversation about remus late at night is way more interesting than charms. so you didn't budge. "aw yea he did, i saw," you cheeks turned crimson as you smile.

"isn't he just so... beautiful? i never look at anyone- except for my barbie dolls when i was five- this way. he is just right in every way."

"mhmmm keep going my love," marlene replied, after noticing a slight crack in the door with the marauders behind it. they were appalled when marlene saw them but marlene stays quiet, sending a wink their way.

at first, they were up here because james wanted to return lily's hair clip in which the boy slyly stole during class for this moment. but the others insisted to go up to see her reaction for some reason.

remus wouldn't complain though. he got to hear what the girl he loves for so much has to say bout him when he's not around.

your back was facing the door with your legs crossed over your chest and you hugging them. "his face may be pretty, but i think his heart is way prettier. for god's sake he holds my hand when i was anxious for that history presentation! he knows my needs so well."

"yes, that's so kind of him," lily urged for you to continue so she can tease you about it the next morning in front of remus lupin.

"and the best part is, remus respects women! he treats me like how i treat the girls and women around me. that's the hottest thing a guy could ever do," you dazed out, burying your face in between your kneecaps.

"ugh we love a respectful king, don't we girls!" marlene said purposely loud so remus can hear the conversation wide and clear from the door. his eyes were basically making heart eyes at the back of your head, his smile is like he had just won a contest and to hide that would be so dishonest.

"i told you to get her on a date sooner, she is the one!" sirius nudged remus rather harshly, but he was too focused on you.

"but what i don't like about him is the fact that he thinks he's not worthy of anything. he is. he deserves the biggest apology and happiness there ever was. he is like a moon river. i would roll my ship at night just to see the sparkles that he got. my huckleberry friend."

"isn't that enough to confirm that [y/n] loves you back, remus?" marlene shouted, her vision straight to the door.

your eyes widened in panic as your blood rushed into your cheeks. was remus hearing all of this? oh no freaking way- he can't be!

the door swung open, revealing the marauders who were standing with their jaws on the floor.

"i'm going out," lily spoke up, slipping out the door with james running after her like a lost puppy.

"you better do something," marlene winked at remus as she pushed him inside the room. remus nodded numbly, processing on what just happened. marlene was already dragging sirius down to give their friends privacy.

"hey, can i come in?"

"gosh i'm so sorry you heard all of that! you don't understand how embarrassing it is for me right now. i wish to disappear!" you scrunched your face, mortified by what his reactions may be.

"listen, uh, what you said were- it really makes me happy that you think of me that way because... so do i! i've been scared to say anything because i just- wasn't sure if you like me that way or not..."

"well, you heard it... what am i going to do now," you whispered the last part under your breath.

lucky for remus, he's got super hearing powers due to his lycanthropy so he heard that as clear as the sky is blue. "we can do what girlfriend and boyfriend do," remus answered shyly, playing with the end of your blanket that dropped from your bed.

"excuse me ma'am, you haven't asked me for dinner yet and now we're girlfriend and boyfriend?" you said in a joking manner to ease the tension out.

"okay let's do baby steps. come here, m'love, want to hold my girl," he opened his arms with his eyes closed. does he even know how cute he is right now?

#x reader #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin fluff #remus lupin blurb #remus lupin imagine #remus lupin x reader fluff #remus lupin headcanon #remus lupin fic

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queerofcups · 7 months

Text

Dear Yuletide 2023 Writer

Hi Yuletide writer! This is my first time doing Yuletide, so thank you SO much for the fic you’re gonna write. It probably doesn’t exist yet, but I already love it. Please don’t take my chattiness as directives (other than my DNWs), I’m really just putting you in the general arena of stories I wanna read, go wild from there.

Requests: Worlds Beyond Number (Podcast)

I know Word of God is that Suvi, Ame, and Eursulon are faaaaamily, but I think it’s legal to think the kid you went to summer camp with turned out to be a hottie actually.

There’s so! much! tension! Between these three and its nearly all unspoken and I think that’s very sexy and interesting

OT3 endgame, but totally fine with pre-endgame hookups & feelings between any two members of our little party

Plotwise, go nuts here, I’ll take anything from silly falling into bed together to the serious, hard work of making a relationship work with people with VERY different politics, or even the aforementioned, “oh damn, such and such got hot???” fic. I just want more of these three together.

The Bear (TV 2022)

Carmy and Sid hooking up would be a TERRIBLE idea, professionally speaking, and probably also emotionally speaking. I want to read about the ways that it could go wrong and why they do it anyway. Do they keep it a secret? Do they fail at keeping it a secret? Is it incredibly obvious to the rest of the crew?

I’ve read a lot of very sweet fics where they fall in love and all is great, and those are wonderful, but I think messy power dynamics are hot and interesting and they’ve got bad idea written all over them.

Bonus bonus points if you engage with what food, cooking and meals mean to both of them.

Barbie (Movie 2023)

Let Barbie be gay!!!! Greta Gerwig was trying to tell us something with all that Indigo Girls and Birkenstock and I wanna read someone picking up what she’s putting down. Barbie’s first gay hookup! Barbie’s first, third and fifteenth u-haul! What does it mean for an idea that’s an icon of heterosexuality to become a person who…isn’t straight!

Whether it’s funny or deadly serious, I’m interested in what people imagine might happen if Barbie turns out to be a lesbian, specifically.

Joy Ride (2023)

I can’t be the only one who saw some sexual tension between Lolo and Kat. Do they become rivals for Audrey’s affections? Is it a competition to see how many people they can sleep with (and then they end up sleeping with each other?). Does Kat realize that her hubby is great, but actually can’t keep up with her and has to outsource? The world’s your oyster here, anon!

General Likes:

Emotional introspection from characters

Descriptions of setting, food, sensations, etc

Messy lines between friendship, romantic relationships and sexual relationships

Messy & fucked up power dynamics - Not necessarily dead dove, but any semi-realistic takes on people who, due to their positions, really shouldn’t be doing this

A lot (most?) of my request involve at least one person of color. I like fic that acknowledges that those experiences mean something. I don’t need an anti-racism TED talk or anything, it’s just nice to know that someone’s thinking about that kind of stuff.

Gay shit! Similar to the note above, I’m not looking for a TED talk, but I like fics to contend with what it might mean to be a queer person in the world (if its a canon where that matters)

Smut wise: public sex, sex pollen, ABO (if you’re gonna say something thoughtful about sex/gender/sexuality), casual kink, edging, descriptions of sensation

Tropewise: I like curtainfic, I don’t mind an AU (love mail-order bride AUs, arranged marriage AUs, anything requiring people to get used to each other)

A note on femslash: I’m not interested in fic that’s gender swapped men. Also, I love fic about trans women, but I’m not interested in futa fic.

Hard Nos: * Noncon (Dubcon is fine, but I need there to be clear signs of the no becoming/being a yes) * Underage * Major Character Death (in which they stay dead) * No scat, no puke, no pee, I feel neutral about blood, sweat, spit, etc. Race play, racial slurs being used in non-reclaimed way

General Dislikes: *Purely sweet, fluffy fics *Grimdark, dead dove, trauma for the sake of trauma *High School AUs *Crossovers w other media *Kink being formally negotiated on screen *Kidfic *Pregnancy fic (but I am fine with dealing with an unexpected pregnancy) *Gen fic *COVID mentions are fine, but no COVID plotpoints

#yuletide 2023 #sorry about the long post #i do not know how to do cuts on tumblr anymore apparently #don't mind me

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therealvinelle · 3 years

Note

How do u think Alice and Rosalie’s relationship is?

Not close.

This is one of those metas where I don't have to guess, because Rosalie says it herself in this outtake from Meyer's website. For reference, she's contemplating her phone call to Edward, and the reasons why she called:

I might as well be honest with myself, because Edward would see every bit of pettiness in my decision as soon as he got home. Might as well acknowledge my bad motives, accept them now.

Yes, I was jealous of the way Alice felt about Bella. Would Alice have raced off so rashly, so wild with panic, if it had been me she’d seen jumping off a cliff? Did she have to love that commonplace human girl so much more than me?

But that jealousy was just a small thing.

(For the record, that "Edward would see every bit of the pettiness in my decision" line - good god, let it never be said this girl has good self esteem.)

Alice openly prefers Bella to Rosalie, she makes Bella her best friend based on visions (which, to be sure, is simply how Alice works), and devotes herself entirely to being BFFs with Bella. She's attentive, takes the initiative, never runs out of enthusiasm where Bella is concerned.

In Midnight Sun, Alice is blatant about this. Bella is to be her friend, her very best friend in this world, someone she has longed for. She loves her already, why hasn't Edward introduced them yet, Bella Bella Bella-

Bella is very much going to be a novelty in Alice's life. Bella is the sister and friend Alice wants and delights in.

Rosalie is not. And Rosalie knows it. Sixty years together, and they never got as close as Alice got to Bella in just a few months of knowing her.

It's very clearly one-sided, too, this jealousy and desire for closeness on Rosalie's end. Alice makes it clear she's not interested in Rosalie beyond getting along because they're in the same coven.

Again, the outtake is depressingly helpful here.

Alice calls the house phone, Rosalie picks up. What proceeds it a tense conversations where Alice tells Rosalie that Edward is going to kill himself, and Rosalie, faced with the prospect of losing her brother, succumbs to despair. Alice shows zero empathy:

“I—I didn’t mean it like that, Alice! I just wanted him to come home!” My voice was almost a howl.

“It’s a bit late for that, Rose,” Alice said, harder and colder than before. “Save your remorse for someone who believes it.”

I'd be lenient because Alice is also on the verge of losing her brother, and it's human (heh.) nature to not always react appropriately to that. Taking her fear and worry for Edward out on Rosalie is regrettable, but not necessarily representative of how Alice treats and regards Rosalie on the regular.

However, when they get back from Volterra, Edward is fine. They're all fine, everything turned out well, there was a happy ending. Alice can safely lower her shoulders, and let Rosalie know they're fine.

Instead- well, Alice and Rosalie don't interact in the reunion scene, instead it's Edward piling crap on Rosalie while Emmett jokes that Bella forgiving her doesn't count because Bella's half asleep. But it speaks of a family dynamic where Rosalie's a bitch and it's okay to treat her accordingly, which, combined with everything we know about Alice, makes me feel pretty confident in guessing she never apologized for her words.

Not once in canon, not to my recollection anyway, do we see them have a sisterly moment. Alice never brings Rosalie along on a shopping trip with Bella (or pouts because Rosalie didn't want to go), they never sit together just to talk about anything, Alice never plays Barbie Rosalie.

Do they do things together every so often, yes, that's canon, Alice designs dresses for her and they made a photo album of Renesmée together. That's it. However, that merely means that two people living under the same roof sometimes do things together when it's a hobby they share. More, fashion is Alice's passion. Designing clothes for Rosalie isn't necessarily about Rosalie the person. And Renesmée's album, again, just means they both wanted to do a thing.

There's no instance of them seeking each other out for the sake of company.

So, no, I don't think Rosalie and Alice are close. At all.

I think Rosalie would love to be, has probably made a few overtures over the years, at least in the early ones, none of which can succeed when she on a very fundamental level is not a person Alice is interested in as friend.

Alice, on her end, tolerates Rosalie.

#rosalie hale #alice cullen #alice & rosalie #twilight #twilight meta #twilight renaissance

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imaginewarehouse · 3 years

Text

Various Males x Fem!ExModel!Reader || Oneshot

Plot: You, a retired model get hired at Cloud 9 and, not-at-all-surprisingly, you get harassed by every allegeable (According to them) bachelor in the place- but god fucking damnit! You’re just here to get a paycheck??!

“You can’t knock ‘em out, you cant walk away,

Try desperately to think about the politest way to say,

“Just get out of my face,”, “Just leave me alone,”

“And no you cant have my number,”,

“Why?”

“Cuz I lost my phone.”

(Inspired by Lily Allen’s Knock ‘Em Out)

Includes (In order of appearance after the introduction bit): Sal Kazlauskas, Garret McNeil, Tate Staskiewicz, Isaac (And I think my favouritism here definitely bleeds through*Cough*), Elias Greene, Cory, Jonah Simms, and Marcus White.

Warnings: Sal, harassment (They leave after you say no though. Just to be sure)

🔆 🔆 🔆

“And uh, yeah one last thing before we all hop off to work! We have a new Cloud 9 family member. Y/N! Would you like to stand up?” Glenn, the lovely man who took your interview a week ago and then went out of his way today to look for you out front in the morning to show you around quickly and guide you through clocking in, finds you in the crowd of workers and gestures for you to stand.

Oh, uh- uhh, okay! Up we get, then, you think as you stand up like he said and take a look around at all the judging eyes, which normally wouldn’t phase you but here is a lot scarier than what you’re used to. This an entirely different environment to getting up at a modelling gig- you know nothing about working this kind of job! You’ve never done it, so, you’re afraid they’ll judge you right off the bat and make it difficult for you to ask questions. And you can’t keep bothering Glenn- he has more important things to do.

Oh god, you hear whispering. You peer around. Where is that coming from?-

“This is Y/N L/N! She’ll be working with Go back’s today,” Right, Go Back’s Easy enough; Glenn explained them earlier before the meeting started. “So if you see her in your area- be sure to say hello and see if she needs some help, K? Good. We’re jazzed to have you with us Y/N.”

“Thank you!” You quip quickly, then sit down and focus on Glenn again, hoping dearly at the same time that attention disperses from you immediately.

Glenn smiles, glancing down at his clipboard for any last-minute messages. “Okay! I think that’s it, so- “

The whispering from before suddenly cuts off. “Uh yeah, question?” Glenn stops short when a man in the back kind of rudely cuts him off, but sighs out a ‘Yes, Marcus?’ as the woman beside him - Dina, - rolls her eyes severely. Oh, you let a tiny ghost of a smirk slip over your lips. That’s kind of a reaction, isn’t it? “Yo- new girl.” What- me- w h y- You immediately get awkward again and twist around in your chair, but don’t really know who to look at. Luckily the tall brunette in the warehouse uniform is pointing, so you figure it out pretty quick that that’s who you’re looking for, and calm down. Mostly.

Yeah? You raise one eyebrow. “Hi?”

He grins back to the right and the left of him, to his equally pleased buddies and pals, before raising a Vogue magazine- and it’s the issue on which you scored the front page. Jeez, that was months ago! “Is this you?”

A chorus of ‘Ohhhhh’ and general excitement travels around the room and for the first time ever, you’re half ashamed to admit that yes that is you. In your usual circle this is something to be proud of… but you get that it isn’t really like that, in non-modelling circles. In fact, it could be something to be embarrassed about.

Especially seeing that oh dude and his gang of Michael Myers fashion wannabes look like a hungry, dim-witted, wolves rather than plainly interested about your modelling career.

But, still, you smile politely and nod. Hopefully it’ll be forgotten before the afternoon, at least. “Yeah, that’s me.”

“Nice.”

Hmm… you really, really hope that it’s forgotten soon, at least, as you turn back around to face the front again as Glenn sends everyone off to work. Because if not, then these boys are going to learn the hard way that models take self-defence classes religiously.

Or at least you are going to have a very uncomfortable day, which is just great. You groan inwardly at the thought, as you gather up your coffee from the table beside you and drop it in the trash can on the way out.

You’re just doing your own thing and someone

Comes out of the blue,

They’re like,

“Alright”

But he’s saying

“Yeah can I take your digits?”

And you’re like, “No, not in a million years, you’re nasty.

Please leave me alone.”

There’s already so many Go Back’s! You think excitedly, as you get to work looking for where things should be. You’re glad to have something to do- at your first job with Chuck E Cheese, before you got into the modelling thing, you were basically useless the first day because you weren’t allowed to grill yet, you didn’t know how to assemble, and they didn’t want you out on the floor for the birthday party that was happening, in fear that you would mess up royally. So you just sat around trying not bother anyone, and that felt terrible. So, wandering the aisles of Cloud 9 with a full shopping trolley searching for products and neatening things up? Sounds like a good deal to you. Yes please.

“Uhh, hi.”

You practically jump entirely out of your skin, hearing the voice right beside you and whip your head around to see a balding guy in a blue Cloud 9 jacket. Is this man licking his fingers!?

“Uh,” You step back with your brightest, most polite smile, picking something up from the Go Back’s cart and rounding it to put it between you and the man, before acting like you’re stupid enough to be putting barbecue sauce in the Barbie section, and then… “Oh, oops! Silly me!” You flash the guy a nervous look. “I’m still working things out… “

Well? Better to look like an absolute idiot, then be standing within grabbing radius of the creepy man licking his fingers that you’re all alone in the middle of an empty aisle with. “Um… so, what’s up? Did someone send you to find me, or… am I doing something wrong? You know better than me, after all!”

“No… “His gaze licks up your form and if it weren’t for all your ‘training’ in staying still and not feeling this kind of thing- you absolutely would have wigged out. “You’re doing fine… Just wanted to see you.”

Boy- if anyone else could see your face right at this moment, full of disgust and mild horror, you’re sure you would be YouTubes next hit. Or a meme. “Oh… “You nervously chuckle. “Um, well, I’m gonna… go… “You pull the trolley around so that you can back up out the back of the aisle and escape through stuffed toys, into the open but his hand comes down on the other end of the trolley- stopping it. Before you can stop yourself, verbal diarrhoea spews from your lips. “Glenn has my resume- there’s a photo on there you can have.”

“That’s okay I prefer them to be breathing.” Both his hands are on the end of your trolley now, tight so his knuckles turn white, and he’s breathing unnecessarily heavy. He’s even leaning over the trolley some like his body really can’t handle whatever terrible heat is plaguing it right now. Oh god, oh god oh god oh god… this is so gross.

“Well, that’s… u-understandable...”

He looks up into your eyes, now, and doesn’t blink. Who the hell is this guy?! “Say… “ Oh no, oh no- he’s coming around the trolley-he’s coming around-he’s close-too close-too close-mayday-MAYDAY- Slowly, in your face, he licks up his thumb, makes an ‘Mm,’ sound, and you deeply wince; So much so in fact that one of your eyes completely closes. “Could I take your phone number?”

You absolutely couldn’t have helped what happened next if you had wanted to.

“Eeeeuuuwwwwwwww no not in a million years, your nasty, please leave me alone!!” You exclaim in a high voice before abandoning the trolley and rushing off to customer service.

“No you cant have my number,”

“Why?”

“Cuz I lost my phone.”

By the time you got to the front desk, you had basically calmed down and were mostly just stressed that you left the Go Back’s behind- but still must look troubled as the guy manning the front desk makes a confused, half-concerned but mostly intrigued kind of face at you as you stop there. You’re about to explain your appearance - that or just shrug, not too bothered about reporting whatever mess that was. Not on your first day, at least. No way. - when his face relaxes, and he nods. “Ohhh. Damn, Sal got to you?”

Sal? Was that the guy’s name? You didn’t check. “Oh, was that his name? I was a bit too preoccupied by his eyeballs sucking out my soul, to notice his name tag.” Now that you’re thinking about it, though, you glance at this man’s name tag. Garret.

“Yep, that’s Sal. That’s just one of the wonderful things involved in working here that you’ll just have to get used to.” Garret grins, offering you a chill perspective with a side of cynicism. You sigh, truly feeling relieved that you’ve found a normal person and relax your back against the taller part of the desk.

“Brilliant.” The sarcasm drips off the tip of your tongue.

“You’ll have to deal with a lotta that here, though, looking like you do.” You turn your head to the side to look already exhausted just by the idea, at him. He shrugs. “Hey, I don’t make the rules. I just speak the truth.”

“God- I feel sorry for the other women working here.”

“Oh, no. They’re in a completely different wheelhouse to you. Sorry.” Garret leans on his forearms on the desk, and you roll over to lean on your shoulder and pay attention. “See, you’re a model- “

“I was a model,”

“You were a model- which through primitive male thought process makes you prime real estate. Whoever manages to ‘bag’ you, for lack of a better word I apologise, gets some serious bragging rights.” He shrugs, and looks vaguely apologetic but still some how shameless as this utter bullshit slips out of his mouth. “We can’t help it- some of us don’t even know we’re doing that, but we are. Actually, I’m probably the only one who’ll admit it… which… kinda makes me your best option. Self-awareness, and all that.”

Oh. A dry laugh comes out of you as you feel a text come through in your back pocket and pull out your phone. As you see that its not an urgent message, you immediately put the phone back and glance around for any supervisors before returning to your conversation with Garret. “Oh- of course it does.”

“Exactly!” He grins, and you can’t tell through his expression at all whether he’s genuinely this clueless or if he’s just shooting his shot. “So- “

“No, you can’t have my number.”

“Why?”

Deadass, in a very monotone voice, you say: “I lost my phone.”

Then the two of you just have a stare off for a minute. Garret because he just saw you use your phone, and you because you wont back down.

“Oh yeah, actually yeah I’m, I’m pregnant. I’m having a baby in like 6 months, so no. Yeah, yeah… “

“You know,” The chemist pipes up from behind the Pharmacy desk as you put back some pill boxes he said were fine to return to the shelves, and you glance over at him to show you’re listening, and check his name tag. “I myself considered a career in modelling, before this. People even say, now, that I could model.”

Oh boy. You think, fighting not roll your eyes. And how old are you? Early 30’s? I don’t think so buddy.

“Oh, well, I wouldn’t recommend it.” You flash him a nervous grin before returning to your shelving. “You’re good for, like, 3 years. But then you hit 22 and unless you look like Victoria Justice shared with you whatever youth fountain she got chucked into, then you have to find something else to do with your life- despite having nothing to fall back on.” Okay… so… I might be a bit bitter.

Tate chuckles - and oh boy, he sounds just like your old manager. Totally fake, -, hiding his hands in his lab coat pockets. “Yeah, you’re probably right… Besides, I got the better end of the deal, anyway. Doctor for the doctors, they call us.” They call Pharmacists that? Who? That’s news to you. “Ahhh, yeah… I’m doing pretty well for myself.”

“Yep.” Forcing a fake smile his way, you leave the shelf you were stocking and get closer to the desk to stock another, as Tate’s eyes follow you waiting for encouragement of some kind. Doesn’t he have a job to do?? “You chose well!”

“Yeah, thanks. I know.” Ffffff-f a r out. This guy! “You know, you and me, we’d make a good couple.”

Oh? Dear god? You pause your shelving in surprise at the bomb this man has just dropped so casually, fish oil tablets paused on their journey to the shelf mid-air. Could Garret’s crazy-pants theory have been right?

“Ohh,” You giggle nervously, returning to work a bit faster now. “I don’t know. I think for a pharmacist like you, I would envision, like… “An actual doctor? No, I can’t say that. “A personal trainer, or something. Keep you both healthy all-round, you know? Now that’s a power team.” As long as that personal trainer has humility enough for the both of them, at least.

“Mergh,” He makes a face, like ‘What the heck are you talking about??’, before shaking his head of the things you just said and leaning over the desk towards you. You keep packing, even faster now. Like the Flash. Go! Go! Go! Death Con 5!! “So, whadaya say? I could pick you up Friday after work, and we could head up to one of my timeshares?” He says that like it’s such a selling point! You think, fighting off the powerful urge to laugh but still feeling the panic deep in the pits of your soul. “Stake it out together for the weekend? Get to know each other?”

“Uhh… “Excuses! What are they? You slowly stop stocking, turning around to face him and crossing your arms. The man deserves to at least be faced as he’s rejected; You’re kind enough to give him that, at least. “I’d love to! But, the thing is… “Chewing your bottom lip, you think hard.

Ding Ding Ding!!

“The thing is, Tate… “You fake some nerves, now. “I’m actually, uh… “You look up, face relaxing. “Pregnant.”

Oh boy, the way that man recoils at that word, like a terrified, disgruntled, blonde hedgehog. You’re going to laugh so hard about it, later!! “Oh.”

“Yeah! Oh, I mean, yeah… I’m gonna be having a baby, in like, 6 months so… yeah… Yep.“ You shrug to him, as if its just so unfortunate. “Shame.”

She looks in her bag, takes out a fag, tries to get away from the guy on a blag,

Can’t find a light.

‘’Here, use mine.’’

‘’See the thing is I just don’t have the time.’’

Ahh, lunch. Now you can check your texts! Hmm, you look through your notifications and gradually lose excitement. Mum… mum… mum… phone bill company… friend… mum again…

Ah, the glamorous life of the famous.

You roll your eyes, and get to responding to your mothers texts about dinner and when you’ll be home and how your first day is going, not noticing the not-so-jolly, not-so-green-(unless-you-meant-pot) giant approaching you. When you finally finish responding to both your mum and your friend, you put your phone away and start unwrapping your lunch- a typical ham sandwich that you’re actually pretty excited about. That’s one good thing about your sudden drop in financial status; You can put in your damn sandwich as many pieces of ham and cheese as you like. Grinning excitedly, you pick it up and have it halfway to your mouth before another person - a very heavy, large person, - drops down beside you on the bench you’ve commandeered behind the store. You close your mouth without any delicious lunch inside it and look up, politely to the person who’s joined you.

And all you can think, is wow.

He could put you in a suitcase and walk off with you right now and have no problems.

That’s wow.

“Hi! I’m Y/N,” You introduce yourself, offering a hand for him to shake.

“I know.” Oh, well yeah okay that’s understandable. Glenn did introduce you to everyone this morning. Despite the man’s less-then-excited response, he takes your hand in his and shakes. It makes you all giddy inside, honestly. So b i g. “Names Isaac.”

Do you remember Isaac in the breakroom this morning? You wrack your brain for him, because surely if he was there you noticed him-

Oh. Yep, you remember him. He was one of that Marcus-Dude’s pals chuckling and whispering behind him. He was one of the men that had the magazine with you on the front, and if there’s one thing you know about men who carry Vogue in their locker’s it’s that they fit into only 2 groups- interested in fashion, obviously… and interested in the women. And this man clearly is not interested in fashion. Immediately, on this realisation, you feel disappointed- you really could have liked this man right off the bat…

But it looks like he’s just going to be another of the men at this store you have to get to know, before becoming friendly with.

“So,” He starts, and you fight off a wince. Hopefully, you don’t know what’s coming. But… the likeliness of that is not high. “You wanna go out, some time? I’m a big fan of your work.” He smirks.

“Oh, ha ha.” You laugh sarcastically, shaking your head and returning to your sandwich. You take a bite and- Ahhhhhh, so worth the wait. Oh my god. Food orgasm. “At least you’re honest!”

“Yeah, so is that a yes?” His face brightens a smidgeon, which is a lot seeing as he doesn’t seem to be totally all there, in the first place.

You look up at Isaac, and look apologetic. He was honest with you so its only fair that you’re genuine with him. “Sorry… “

“Ah- actually, I don’t know if this’ll change your mind, but I have 2 weeks to live, so… “

Never mind on that honesty thing, then.

Dull-eyed, you stare up at him. “… Uh-huh.”

“Its true! I have, uh, cancer.” He insists, nodding his head and forcing his eyebrows up his forehead all serious-like.

“Cancer.” Right.

“Yep.”

Right, time to look in the bag... You start to wrap up your lunch again - sadly, as now you’ll have to wait until the end of the day and the bus ride home to eat it, - and plop it back away in your bag, getting up and pulling out a cigarette instead- that should hold you over until the end of the day. “My lunch break is actually over, so I should go- Damn, where’s my light?“

Isaac rifles through his pockets until he pulls out an old looking neon orange lighter, and offers it to you. “Here, use mine.”

Oh, no. You stare at it like a deer in headlights. If you accept that, like you really want to right now because it’s been a month since your last smoke, then you have obligations to sit with him for another couple minutes, at least.

Aghh… You groan and whine on the inside, before making up your mind and flinging the cigarette into a puddle. “See the thing is, I don’t actually have the time-”

“Go away now, let me go.”

“Are you stupid? Or just a little slow?”

“Ughhh… “This one has been giving you looks all day, but had no courage until now to speak to you- but the thing is? He didn’t have the smarts, either, to take off his wedding ring at least before he decided to be a bastard and bother you. So you feel absolutely no regret about being exactly as dismissive or plain rude, as you feel. “Elias? Go away now.”

The nervous man, who’s been ringing his hands this whole time and stuttering through failed date requests that you pretended you didn’t understand because of his struggle, gets panicked. “Just let me ask!- Will, will you go out with me?”

“No.” You yawn, dropping a piglet toy into a basket.

“But!- “

Turning away, you start pushing your trolley along to get to the next aisle. “Let me go.”

“We can go wherever you like!”

Sighhhhhhhhh. You turn around and grant him an audience, putting your hands on your hips and raising you brows at the wedding band on his left hand.

“Are you stupid? Or just a little slow?”

“Please fuck off.”

Oh good god in heaven, they’re going bigger with their proposals.

“Y/N! Will you go out with me?”

This man, Corey, has grabbed the announcement phone now that you’re walking away, making you freeze like the dad possum in Over The hedge and seriously consider playing dead, too, as you slowly turn around to look at him again.

Oh, if only looks could kill- he would be so dead that even Vlad the Impaler’s victims would laugh.

This is your first day, and the fact that you’re being harassed by multiple stupid men is bad enough but now he’s calling attention to you like this? Glenn’s going to think you’re a troublemaker!! Jesus fucking Christ- you need this job! Corey continues to talk into the speaker phone, even as he looks into your eyes and sees his death. “And… now… you’re looking at me like that, so uh… I’m just gonna… say please?”

… “’Please’ fuck off.”

“Yes ma’am-“

“Go away now, I’ve made myself clear.

I don’t think so.

Nah its not gonna happen.

Not in a million years.”

Since the run-in with Corey and the following spike in your blood pressure, you’ve calmed down again. But now you’re looking into the two faces of a ‘Mateo’, who you apparently work with, and a ‘Castor’ who does not work here and is not shopping but is still in your face and is t h i s close to feeding that ugly tie to his cousin.

But, still, you’re going to stay graceful, because Castor constantly looks like he’s 3 seconds from pooing himself. “Now please go away, now… I think I’ve made myself clear.” By explaining, politely, that you aren’t looking for a man but thank you for the offer, Castor.

“Oh, but you haven’t heard what Castor does for a living! He’s in insurance,” Mateo explains to you, like this is some huge game changer. When you don’t react, he adds that there’s good money, insurance.

You almost laugh. Does this boy really think you’re such a gold digger? Boy- if I wanted riches then I could’ve easily become a C-Class actor who has no skills in the area, but is pretty so gets praised like she does- like a lotta my model friends.

Instead I’m here, at Cloud 9.

Come to your own conclusions.

But instead of saying that, though, you just shake your head nervously. “I don’t think so… “

“But!- “

“Nah… sorry, its… not gonna happen… “

“But Castor is- “

“Not in a million years… “

“Aw, no. I gotta go. My house is on fire.”

Now, at least this one is respectful, you think, listening to him talk about the products you’re shelving together. He had come over and offered to give you a hand when you looked confused, as a ‘Cheyanne’ had handed you a scanner earlier and then promptly ran off, despite your utter incompetence. You were so relieved that this guy turned up!!

“… so, you just punch in reduce .50, and scan! Its pretty easy, if you have it properly explained to you. I- I was actually in the same situation, as you! When I first started here, except I ended up, uh, reducing all the items in electronics to 15 cense rather than discounting it all 15 percent.” A grin spreads across your lips at the story, and thank god that Jonah had turned up before that happened to you and, with your luck, you got fired for it.

“Oh no!”

“Yeah- Amy, our uh, floor supervisor, was pretty cranky with me about that… “He laughs himself, resting his hands on his hips; Still looking nervous at the memory.

You look back down at the scanner you’re holding and shake your head. “Well at least you know, now! And thank you so much for coming to my aid, haha. I was so lost- you’ve been a huge help! A life saver, truly.”

“Yeah… “ He gives a cute little, reserved smile. “So, uh, its basically the end of the day! Hope you’re first day hasn’t been too strenuous. At the end of my first day, I know I was tired. But I got to go out with a couple of the other employees and have a drink, to destress. If-If you were free, we could… do something. Together.” Your eyebrows slowly raise up your forehead at that, and you turn to look up Jonah, sceptical. What was that? You sure have had a long day, and its about to get a lot longer if this boy is asking what you think he is. “Sorry! Sorry, that sounded weird. Um, I guess what I’m really asking, is… would you like to, I dunno, go out with me sometime? I know some great places.”

Oh, noooooo! You cry, on the inside. You thought you found a normal one!

Still, he is being so nice… The least you could do is let him down easily.

“Oh, Jonah, I actually… oh- sorry.” Your phone beeps in your pocket and you take it out quickly to have a glance - its just your mother… again, - … and suddenly get an idea. Feigning shock, you quickly put the phone away and put down the scanner. It’s time to clock out and go home, anyway, thank god. “I have to go! That was my mum, uh- I really have to go!”

“Wow, wow, wow, what’s wrong?? Can I help with anything?”

Oh… he looks so concerned. He’s sweet.

But before you can rethink your words, this living horror slips out. “My-my house is on fire.”

Oh god, you’re a horrible person.

“I’ve, I’ve got herpes. No- Syphilis!”

Oh thank god the day is over. Rolling your shoulders back, you kneel down at your bottom locker, open it up and take out your bag. Now you can go home and put on Gotham on Netflix, wear no pants and eat thin mints until you fall asleep.

When you get up, you aren’t watching out for a man to be standing barely half a foot away from you - Your mistake, obviously, - so you jolt right out of your skin when you see him and curse. What is wrong with these men? Does Cloud 9 offer complimentary staff ninja classes along with their lack of health insurance? Man, classy company. “Sorry!” You look up past the coveralls after stepping a safe distance back from him, and immediately feel dread deep in your chest. “Oh, hi. Marcus, was it?”

“That’s me! How was your first day?” He asks, seeming polite enough despite the fact that you’re cornered between tall boy and the lockers. And you’re too tired to try and slip away- this boy will get out of your way.

“It was good! Thanks for asking. I’m ready to go home and collapse, though.” You admit, shoulders dropping and a tired smile on your lips. Mmm… thin mints… bed… blankets… Cory Michael Smith… I can taste it… Marcus just needs to get out of my way.

“I hear that.” Evidently not quite as deeply, though, as he moves on pretty fast. “Listen- I was thinking if you’re into it we could… go out, some time.” He tilts his head forward to clarify, “On a date,”, in case that part hadn’t translated, and chuckles. “We could see a movie or get drinks, or something, I don’t know. How about tonight?”

T-tonight? The word nearly slips from your lips; All disbelief and tears and exhaustion, included. You’re so tired. “Um… you know, tempting offer, but um… “He looks so hopeful. It nearly changes your mind. “Not tonight.”

“OH! So like, tomorrow?” Oh christ- “Cuz I’m supposed to watch Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here with my mum, but… no, I can blow that off! So, tomorrow?”

You take a deep breath, not really knowing what you can say. “Marcus… “He raises his eyebrows, waiting for an answer. “… I have herpes.”

“Wait, what??” He steps back, nearly tripping over a table in his fear that just being near you will cause him to contract the disease, and you let your guard down in relief. Yep, for sure, definitely. If it makes him back off, then yes- you have herpes. You have a raging, festering case of herpes.

“Yeah! Or-“ Squinting, you pretend to sift through your brain. “Was it Syphilis?” This boys eyes basically bulge out of his head and you’re totally going to laugh about it later, but right now you have to get out of there. You waive your hand dismissively and walk on by him towards the door like you don’t have a care in the world. Before you leave though, you turn around a flash Marcus a big smile. “Either way, ew, right? Well, see you tomorrow buddy! Gotta go! Enjoy I’m A Celebrity with your mum.” Then you’re gone.

Tomorrow is going to be a much better day, once that rumour is properly spread.

119 notes · View notes

kyber-crystal · 4 years

Text

Baby Fever

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Words: ~2.4k

Summary: Sometimes, all you need to work up your courage is a little push. And Steve receives just that. When the two of you go to babysit Morgan, he gets a little sneak peek into what a future with you could be like - and he doesn`’t want to let that thought go.

Warnings: this sucks lol, but it’s just a bunch of fluff

A/N: so a lot of my oneshots are about getting INTO relationships instead of being in one prior, but I just couldn’t resist this trope ugh. I CANT RESIST DAD! STEVE UGHHH. also i decided to start making moodboards, inspired by @marvelsswansong teehee. dedicating this to @rynhaswritersblock , who recently joined tumblr! I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUU

...

“Are you guys sure about this?” Pepper looked back and forth between you and Steve as she packed up the last of her things, rolling the suitcases to the front door. "She's a lot to handle...and I know you guys already have a lot on your plate and all.."

"I'm sure," you gave her a reassuring smile, putting a gentle hand on her shoulder. "We're going to have fun, right, Morgan?"

"Yeah!" the little Stark giggled, raising her arms in the air, "We're gonna have so much fun together!"

"We'll be back by tomorrow night," Tony informed you, leaning down to kiss Morgan's forehead, "Bye, sweetheart. Make sure to behave for them, okay?"

"Okay!"

"I can't thank you guys enough," Pepper stated. "It's been forever since we were last able to get a break like this."

"You deserve it," you nodded, "now go! Shoo! Don't worry and just relax! That's the whole point of you going on this trip."

"Alright, alright," she chuckled, "see you soon, then!"

As soon as the door closed behind them, Morgan immediately jumped up into your arms. "Let's go play!"

"What do you want to do?" you asked.

"A tea party!"

"Well..." Steve looked down at his watch, "it's getting close to lunchtime, so how about we have something to eat first, and then we'll play, okay?"

"Yay!"

While you kept Morgan busy, Steve got set to making a simple lunch of grilled cheese for you all to eat. When he brought the plates to the living room, he saw saw you sitting in between Morgan's legs as she was plopped down on the couch, pulling your hair up into a high bun.

"Now, what's this?" Steve raised an eyebrow as he set down the food on the coffee table, ruffling Morgan's hair. "Did you bother her?"

"She didn't," you laughed lightly, "don't worry."

"Do you like it?" Morgan giggled. "I think she looks super pretty!"

"I approve," Steve nodded, giving the little girl a thumbs-up.

"So, Morgan," you cleared your throat, "Who's your favorite Avenger?"

"Daddy is!"

"Besides your dad."

"You!"

“And why is that?”

“Because you can shoot lasers out of your eyes and control the weather! And that’s really really cool!”

“I think you just hurt Steve’s feelings,” you reminded her.

“He’s my second favorite!”

“Really, kiddo?” Steve raised a brow, “after all I’ve done for you? Who took you out to ice cream after your dance recital? Who let you have dessert before dinner when your dad was too busy working? Who let you go sledding with their shield?”

“But Y/N is the cool auntie!”

"See that, Cap? She likes me more than you," you smirked, nudging Steve in the shoulder. "I'm her favorite."

Steve scoffed. “I’m right behind you. I’m her second favorite.”

"I'm better than you are, though."

After you were all done eating, Morgan grabbed Steve’s hand, then motioned for you to all follow her upstairs to her room. Within five minutes you were all dressed up with feathery boas, colorful scarves, bejeweled sunglasses, and bright pink birthday hats.

"You look ridiculous," you snorted as you adjusted Steve’s fuchsia feather boa and sunglasses. "I could just take a picture of you right now and store it for future blackmail use."

"Don't you dare," he warned.

Too late. You already had your phone out and he blinked in surprise as the flash went off. You giggled as you saw the surprise evident in his face.

"Ooh! Let's take a group selfie!" Morgan jumped up and down. Steve let out a sigh but as soon as he saw the eager look in her eyes he couldn't resist. You crowded together as you quickly took the group picture, making funny faces because she insisted on doing so.

Pepper was right in saying Morgan was a lot to handle. If being an Avenger was the most difficult thing to do, this had to be the second hardest job to take. By the time dinner rolled around, you were tired out of your mind from running around the backyard throwing a Frisbee back and forth, commentating on Barbie movies together, cartwheeling through the halls, climbing trees, and her undoing and redoing your hair.

"Why don't you take a break. I'll get dinner ready," Steve offered. "You need to rest."

"But St-" you began.

"It's fine," he waved you both off, "you deserve it."

"Thank you," you yawned, stretching your arms up in the air. As soon as you flopped down onto the couch, you drifted off.

“Auntie Y/N? Where are...oh!” Morgan hopped over and peered over the sofa, seeing that you were fast asleep. She picked up the blanket that had been strewn aside from earlier, and carefully pulled it over your body, before patting your forehead and skipping off to the kitchen to find Steve.

“Uncle Steve!” She tugged on the super-soldier’s pant leg, and he looked down from where he was chopping up cilantro at the counter. The heavenly smell of Italian spice blends began filling the air. “What are you making?”

“Garlic tomato basil chicken,” he responded with a soft smile as he set his knife down and washed his hands, crouching down to her eye level. “It’s almost ready. Is Y/N still asleep?”

“Uh huh.”

“Why don’t you wake her up for me, while I go set the table. Sounds good?”

“Yup!”

"Y/N, WAKE UP!" she began jumping up and down wildly. "Wake up wake up wake up wake up!"

You groaned and stirred awake, rubbing your eyes as you stood up. "Who woke me u- oh, hey!"

"Were you tired?"

"Yes, Morgan, very," you gave her a tired smile, "so I took a nap. Are you not tired?"

"Nope!"

“Alright,” you exhaled, picking her up. “Let’s go eat!” She instantly rested her head against your shoulder.

Steve watched you pick Morgan up and spin her around as she let out a squeal - and felt a rush of pride wash over him in seeing you being so playful with the little girl. You'd make an excellent parent to his future child, he thought to himself. All you needed now was a ring around your finger.

He felt his heart race at the thought - since when did he start feeling this way about you?

"Dinner's ready!"

"Uncle Steve, are you one of those chef guys on TV?" Morgan's eyes widened in awe as she slid into her seat, looking down at her plate. "This looks super cool! How did you do this?"

"No, I'm not," Steve laughed, "This just takes a lot of practice."

For the majority of dinner, Morgan retold little memories along the lines of 'Remember when that one time you came over for Daddy’s birthday and then Uncle Steve came too and I went sledding with his shield? That was so fun!"

The five year-old was definitely talkative, but nobody minded at all. She was too adorable that it didn't matter how chatty she was - even you, the tough, seemingly coldhearted Agent Y/N had warmed up to her.

After a long, jam-packed day, Morgan was completely knocked out, splayed out across the couch clutching her favorite stuffed duck. You quietly crept towards her and picked her up, carrying her upstairs to her room and gently laying her down in bed.

You lingered in the doorway for a moment, watching as her brown hair fell around her face like a little halo, her chest rising and falling with each breath she took. A small smile found its way onto your face as you stood there.

Suddenly you felt a pair of arms wrap around your waist from behind.

"Hey," Steve exhaled, resting his chin on top of your head. You could feel his warm breath against your neck as he spoke. "What're you standing here for?"

"Hmmm...just watching, making sure she's alright..." you hummed, placing your hands over his as he gently rocked you both from side to side. "Uh...what time is it?"

"10:30."

"Wow. Who knew she could tire you out so quickly," you let out a yawn. "I normally don't go to bed until 1 or 2, or at all for that matter."

"You should get ready for bed, too," he suggested, leaning down to kiss your temple. "Come on. You’re sharing the guest room with me, if you don’t mind."

"Sounds good," you yawned again as he released you from his hold, closing the door before turning around and following him down the hall.

You were too worn out to change or wash up, crawling underneath the covers and pulling them up to your chin. Steve slid into bed besides you, and within minutes you were both fast asleep.

"Yeah!" Morgan squealed, jumping up and down on the mattress. "Auntie Y/N! Uncle Steve! Stop cuddling and get up because it's time to eat!"

The two of you slowly stirred awake, then when you realized the compromising position you were in you quickly pulled apart, sitting up as you rubbed your eyes and ducked your heads slightly to hide the blush on your faces.

"Are you guys dating?"

"No, we're not!" you and Steve replied in unison.

"Uh huh."

Much to Morgan's delight, you ended up eating Mickey Mouse-shaped pancakes for breakfast. Afterwards you took to playing Frisbee and several other games outside for a couple hours before heading back in and bingeing several episodes of Sofia the First while eating macaroni.

Though sometimes when you glanced over at Morgan laughing and enjoying herself throughout the day, you felt a pang in your chest. You'd missed out on so many years with your parents - your early graduation from Penn State, being promoted to commander of SHIELD’s strike team at just 21, becoming an Avenger - only being able to experience a fraction of your life with them before their lives were unfairly cut short.

"Are you okay?" Steve glanced at you worriedly, placing a hand on top of yours.

"Yeah...I'm fine."

"No, you're not. Come on...what's up? Just tell me," he pleaded. "I don't like seeing you sad. It makes me sad, too."

You bit your lower lip, squeezing your eyes shut. "I miss Mom and Dad...seeing Morgan reminded me so much of what I was like as a kid...the memories came flooding back. It’s been so long since then, but..."

"I know. I miss my Ma and Dad, too," he sighed. "I know it hurts, but...don't worry. Time heals all wounds. You’ll be alright."

You lifted your head from where it was resting on his shoulder, smiling slightly at him. "You know, I think that's the wisest thing I've heard you say. Not Captain America hasn’t said a lot of wise things, though."

"You think?"

"Yeah."

"Well, I'm happy to help...you know I'm always here for you, right?"

"Mhm. I love you."

"I love you too."

When Tony and Pepper arrived the next day, they saw all of you sprawled out across the living room, cuddled up together amidst fluffy blankets and pillows. You were clinging to Steve like a koala, while Morgan was using his arm as a pillow as she hugged her stuffed duck close to her chest.

"They must've been exhausted," Pepper chuckled, resting a hand on her husband's shoulder.

"They're completely knocked out."

Morgan was the first to wake up. "Daddy!" she giggled, rushing forward and jumping into Tony's arms. "You're back!"

"Hi there," he ruffled her hair, "how did you like spending time with them?"

"It was awesome! They were the best!"

Tony's expression immediately softened as he glanced over at the still-dozing you and Steve. "I'm glad to hear that, sweetheart. Now. Let's wake them all up so they can head back to the compound."

"Hey, Cap? It's time to head home," Pepper gently shook Steve awake. He stirred slightly before sitting up, blinking several times in confusion before he saw her in front of him. "Hey."

"Oh, hi, Pepper..."

"It looks like Y/N isn't about to wake up anytime soon, though..." her brows furrowed together in concern. "She must've done a lot, huh."

"Yeah...she did..."

You stirred awake, sitting up and yawning loudly. “Oh. Tony, Pep...hey! Did I...”

“You knocked out completely,” Steve laughed. “I’ll drive. I know you’re tired.”

"Thanks,” you yawned again, placing a hand over your mouth. “I owe you.”

“No worries.”

He nodded, carefully scooping you up into his arms as Bucky woke up.

"Alright...let's get going. And Tony...it was great seeing you again."

"Likewise, Rogers. We still up for Barbados next month?"

"Definitely."

After a last round of goodbyes, you were on your way back to the Avengers HQs, leaning your head against the cool glass of the window as Steve drove.

"So,” he exhaled, adjusting his grip on the wheel, “you did good over there, putting up with her. She was a lot to deal with.”

“But we had fun, didn’t we?” you turned your head to the side, giving him a soft smile. “I now have a dozen new perfect blackmail photos of you to bring back with me.”

Steve just laughed and shook his head, “I have some of you too, you know.”

“Are you serious.”

"It’s nothing bad, you just fell asleep and I took a picture. You looked cute, if anything.”

You felt heat rise to your cheeks. “Oh.”

“You’re really good with kids, Y/N.”

“...Thanks. You are, too...Morgan loves you.”

“I’d think you’d be an amazing mother to my child someday.” The words came out so swiftly, so smoothly that he didn’t realize what he’d said until he saw your reaction.

You froze in shock. “What did you...what did you just say?”

“When can we have kids?”

“Did I just...hear you correctly...”

“But if you’re not ready to start a relationship, then I understand...I’m in it if you are. When I saw you playing with Morgan...it was like getting a little glimpse to what life with you would be like in the future, of starting a family together...and I don’t want to let go of that idea. I can't imagine doing that with anyone else other than you."

"What's with the...sudden...confession?" you spluttered, cheeks turning an even deeper shade of red.

“I love you,” he said softly, gazing at you out of the corner of his eye, “I love you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I know it seems early for me to be saying something like this but I couldn’t be more confident in my answer. And if you’re willing to let me in, then...I’d be more than happy to become that ideal man you’ve always wanted to have.”

“I think I’m falling in love with you, too.”

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brelione · 4 years

Text

Like a drunk,grumpy baby (Sarah Cameron X Reader)

3 and 51 with Sarah Cameron?

Sarah didn't know why you had left her.You had simply told her it was over and cut contact.She tried to figure out what she had done wrong,if you loved someone else now or if she just wasnt good enough for you.She heard a knock on her door,making her drag her feet downstairs.

She opened the door,seeing a cardboard box with her name on it.She had been confused,bringing it inside and nearly crying when she saw what was inside.Three bracelets,a bandana,sven t shirts,five shirts,a bra,a bikini top and sweatpants.It was everything she had ever given to you.She let out a choked sob,realizing that it was serious.You were done with her.

She had brought the box up to her room,pulling out everything and sniffing it,trying to find something with your scent on it.She knew that this meant she’d have to give you your things back even though she didnt want to.She had creid to Wheezie for hours until her head hurt and her nose was bright red.

She had refused to leave the house,too scared of seeing you in public.She kept the ring that you gave her on her pinkie,trying to hold on to you.It took days for Wheezie to convince her to leave the house,making her drive to the beach.That had been a bad idea.

Sarah had seen a girl with similar hair to yours,nearly the same skin tone but most importantly wearing a yellow tube top with black shorts.She had seen you wear the same exact outfit dozens of times and seeing it on this girl made her want to sob.She had tried calling you,texting,calling from Wheezie’s phone,sending letters.None of it worked,you had blocked her on everything.

She had tried to think of places you would be,knowing how much you enjoyed boneyard parties.That lead her to where she was now,on her twelfth cup of beer as she stumbled down the beach.She had come here to hunt you down,failing and deciding to drown her sorrows in shitty alcohol instead.

You had seen her,here for the same reasons.You had been absolute shit since you left her.You knew that you werent good enough for her,that your personalities clashed and you’d eventually get her into danger that you couldnt get out of.So you left her.

You left her so you couldnt hurt her anymore,so she was safe and she could be happy.You couldnt buy her nice things like a kook girl could nor could you make her as happy as a kook girl would.You had spent most your time smoking weed,taking shots and taking naps.

Kiara had to take care of you when you were hungover,holding your hair back while you threw up into the toilet.You sat at a small fire with the brunette,staring into the flames with a few tears running down your face when she told you Sarah was here.You had tried to avoid her,knowing that her determination meant she would see you no matter what you did.

It wasnt until you saw her drinking that you began to get worried.She had drank white wine before but only a few sips at a time but never like this.She hated the taste of beer,complaining that it was just carbonated death.You had finally stood up to follow her when she began stumbling down the beach.

You had pushed through the crowd to catch up with the blonde,smacking the cup out of her hand.She had turned around,her jaw dropping when she saw you. “Sar,what are you doing here?”You asked.She pouted,tugging you by your hoodie so she could hug you,nearly falling in your arms. “I wanted to see you.”She grumbled,her breath smelling of pure death.

“Sar,you scared the shit out of me.”You sighed,pulling away from the blonde to see just how drunk she was.Her head was becoming to heavy for her body,tilting to the side slightly.Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes were watery.She was such a mess. “So you still think of me?”She asked.You nodded,trying to get her to sit down. “All the time.”You answered,glad that you finally got her to sit in the sand.She held her head in her hands,the alcohol catching up quick

. “Why did you leave me?”She asked,tears pricking at her eyes.You sighed,trying to think of a way to explain.You hated to see her like this,drunk and crying.You hated yourself even more for being the reason she was like this. “Sar,did you drive here?”You asked.She hummed,playing with the sand. “Where are your keys?”You asked,standing up. “My purse.”She answered,her eyes following you as you stood.

“Where is your purse?”You asked,trying to piece things together. “Uh….I left it behind a tree.”She answered,giggling.You pulled at your hair,pacing a bit. “What tree?”You asked.She frowned,tossing a rock at the sand. “The one you kissed me at.”She answered sadly.You knew exactly which tree she was talking about.It had been November of Sophomore year when you took her to see how wild the waves got on your side of the island.

The tree was far enough from the water that it wouldnt splash you guys.You had held her against the tree and kissed her softly,making her giggle and hug you as you watched the waves crash against the sand. “You’re so drunk right now.Dont drink anymore,okay?Just wait for me to get the keys.”You spoke quickly,jogging away before she could say anything.You went to the tree,seeing the leather bag hanging from the trees.

You yanked it from the trees,thankful to see her phone,keys and wallet were still in there.You held it tightly,running back to her.She was laying on her stomach,holding a bottle cap in her hand. “Hey babyyyy.”She smiled up at you.You flashed her a small smile,holding out your hand. “Come on,we gotta go home,okay?”You asked.She took your hand,standing up and not letting go.

“You’re gonna leave me again.”She pouted.You bit your lip,blinking a few times. “No,im gonna bring you back home and you’re going to take a shower and we’ll watch Barbie movies,okay?”You asked,trying to convince her to go with you.If she didnt go with you you were worried that she’d end up going home with someone that had bad intentions.

You lead her to her car,buckling her seatbelt and pressing a kiss to her forehead. “How much did you drink?”You asked,driving down the rough and old road.She grumbled something that you couldnt hear,dozing off.Her phone rang,Ward calling.You cursed,pulling over.You cleared your throat before answering.

“Hey,Ward.Sarah’s with me,shes fine.”You spoke quickly,knowing that was probably why she was calling.There was a moment of silene before the old man spoke. “Why is she with you?”He asked. “She came to drop some stuff by my house and then just threw up,I think she’s just carsick or something.Oh-oh shes-hello-i gotta-shes fine shes just-cutting out-shit.”You hung up the phone,letting out a sigh of relief.

“IM NOT CARSICK!”She exclaimed. “I know,baby,but I cant tell him you’re drunk.”You started driving again. “I love youuuu.”She slurred,looking over at you from the passengers seat. “Sar,you gotta move on,princess.”You spoke softly.She sniffled,tugging at your arm so she could hold your hand. “Marry me.”She mumbled.Your eyes widened,nearly hitting a caution sign as you kept driving.

“Sar,you’re drunk.”You told her,seeing the big houses coming up. “I dont want to go home!I want to go to your house.”She frowned,shaking your hand.You huffed,making a U turn. “I dont know why you left me...I mean,I bought you milkshakes and did your hair and gave you kisses and I think im pretty cute.”She sighed,flicking your fingertips.You licked your bottom lip,trying to think of a way to explain.

“Its me thats the problem.”You answered,making her roll her eyes. “People always say that.”She mumbled,squeezing your hand. “Its that I think you could be happier with someone who’s not me and I want what’s best for you.”You further explained,the air in the car becoming really cold.She raised your hand in hers,kissing the back of it lightly. “I think you’re a dum dum.”She replied,making you grin. “I think I agree with you,but I just want you to be happy.”You answered,keeping your eyes on the road.

She was sobering up a bit,leaning her head against your hand. “Im happy with you.I came...came to the party for you after you blocked me!And I was sad without you so that means that you contradicted yourself!HAHAHAHA!”She cackled,falling back in the chair.

You shrugged,pulling into your otherwise empty driveway. “I mean,I guess,yeah.”You smiled,taking her keys and putting them back in her purse,going to open her door for her.She smiled,wrapping her legs around your waist and arms around your shoulders,demanding you carry her. “You’re like a drunk,grumpy baby.”You chuckled,your arms looping under her thighs to carry her through your door.

“Im a cute baby though.”She mumbled.You hummed,putting her down on your kitchen counter. “You cant wear that to bed.”You sighed,going to grab her something from your dresser.She had stripped herself naked,standing in your kitchen with a goofy grin on her face.You felt heat rise to your face,handing her one of your oversized shirts and pajama shorts.

“I get to sleep in your bed with you,right?”She asked,pulling the shirt over her torso.You grabbed her a granola bar,making her eat it so she’d have something besides beer in her stomach.She ate it,getting some drool on the wrapper before asking to go to sleep.When she woke up she had her arms tight around you,face in your hair and a smile on her face she was most definitely confused.

She looked down,seeing that she was wearing your clothes.She had an awful headache and a pit in her stomach. “(Y/N)?”She whispered.You groaned,shifting in your sleep. “(Y/N).”She repeated,making you open your eyes. “What happened?”She asked.You mumbled something,pulling the blanket up to your shoulders. “What?”She asked. “You were a drunk child.”You repeated,burying your face in the pillow.

She looked around your bedroom,relieved that she had ended up with you instead of some touron. “So...um...are we like….you know….”She mumbled.You opened one eye,looking up at her. “Back together?Mhmm.Your dad thinks you go carsick and stayed here.”You answered,kissing her forehead.She smiled,pressing a kiss to your shoulder. “I love you.”She mumbled.You pulled your fingers through her blonde hair,smiling. “Love you too,Sar.”You answered before falling back asleep.

@poguestyleskye @jjtheangel @balanceofgray @outerbongs @httpstarkey @copper-boom

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#sarah cameron x reader #sarah cameron imagine #sarah cameron x you #obx sarah #sarah cameron headcannon #sarah cameron angst #sarah cameron #kiara carrera #kiara x reader #obx kiara #kiara carrera x you #kiara carrera imagine #outer banks #obx #outerbanks fanfic #outerbanks imagine

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masterofmunson · 5 years

Text

temper

Billy Hargrove x Reader

Summary: Billy’s red, hot temper makes him lose the one thing he has. You.

Warnings: language, angst

Word Count: 3.7k+

AUTHOR’S NOTE: hi i had so much fun writing this!! there’s something about angst that I love so much lol. pls tell me what you think!!! thank u!!

Tears of frustration threaten to spill down your cheeks. God. If Mary knew you were near tears over your stupid boyfriend, she would kill him. There’s no doubt about it. Mary would kill Billy. If any boy makes you cry, they deserve Mary’s wrath, your doofus of a twin brother included. She punched Roy in the nose when the three of you were in the third grade because Roy broke your Barbie doll. He laughed when he broke it, and then cried when Mary punched him.

You shake your head and let out a broken sigh. Your eyes are trained on the front doors of Hawkins High as students spill out of the building. You don’t know what to say to him.

What can you say? Billy had punched your brother. Billy had punched your best friend. He had punched your overprotective brother in the face because Roy was looking out for you.

Two days prior, Jenna Olson had a party at her lake house up the road. You couldn’t go, you had a shift at Macy’s and couldn’t get anyone to cover for you. Billy had wanted you to ditch your shift completely, but you rolled your eyes and laughed at him. Instead, you told him to go have fun with his friends. You trusted him then.

Now, you’re not so sure.

When Roy stumbled into the house with the help of his girlfriend Christine at two in the morning that same night, he roared and hollered for you. It had startled you awake and you ran down stairs to make sure he was okay. You were thankful your parents decided to go to Chicago for a weekend date.

Christine struggles to get him to sit at the kitchen table as you stare at your brother, tired and in awe of the damage on his face and his knuckles. You were in utter disbelief.

Roy told you everything. He saw Billy hanging onto a slu of girls, all of which who weren’t you. Like any brother would do, Roy told you, he confronted your boyfriend. Then a fight broke out.

Christine told you the grimacing details while Roy moaned and groaned for an ice pack and ibuprofen. It shocked you to your very core. Billy knew how close you were to Roy, and yet he destroyed any relationship the two of them could’ve had when his fist met Roy’s face. It broke your heart.

That night was the first night you locked your window. Billy was the last person you wanted to see.

Now, sitting in Billy’s Camaro, your eyes are anywhere else but looking over at his. You’re seething with anger, disappointment, frustration. It’s obvious in your tense shoulders and the way you bite the inside of your cheek.

You feel so stupid. You believed Billy when he said that he wanted to change, that he didn’t want to be like his father and solve confrontation with his fists anymore. You believed him when he said that he loved you and kissed you and loved on the right spots. You believed he was starting to change when he kept walking when someone pissed him off, when he started smoking less, when he made an effort to have a relationship with Max.

You hate feeling so wrong.

A silent tear slides down your cheek and you quickly wipe it away.

“Sweetheart,” Billy chokes out, reaching for your hand. You recoil from his touch and his heart drops. “Please say something.”

You look over at him and lean your back against the door. “What should I say, Billy?” you snap at him. “Was it worth it? Did you get the same rush like you did when you did the same thing to Harrington?”

Billy winces and he looks down into his lap. He fumbles with his fingers.

You know it’s a low blow, but you don’t care. You’re hurt and upset. The shame he feels is nothing compared to your heartbreak.

Silence falls between the two of you and you glance out the window. You stare at your car. Roy’s waiting on the hood of the trunk with Christine. The bruises he sustained cover his entire face.

“Well?”

“No,” he answered quietly. “It wasn’t. I was just so angry that he would accuse me of stepping out on you. He was drunk, Y/n. He didn’t see me shove the girls that came onto me. He saw what he wanted to see. He’s never liked me.”

“So that gives you the right to punch him? To make his face into your own personal punching bag? It doesn’t matter that he was drunk. You still hurt him. You hurt me. Roy is my brother. He’s my best friend.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

For a moment, you believe him, but that night flashes in your mind. Roy’s black eye and busted lip. The way blood pooled down his nose and on his temple. It frightened you.

You turn your back to Billy and reach for the door handle. Billy reaches for your arm and gently pulls you away from the door. You turn your head to look at him. For a moment, you think you see tears in his eyes.

“I said I was sorry,” Billy tells you, his voice desperate and broken.

A bitter laugh escapes your mouth and you shake your head in disbelief. It sends a shiver down Billy’s spine. The nerve he has to say that to you, like it changes anything that happened. You can’t believe him.

“Are you kidding me, Billy?” you snap at him. Your temper rises with each passing second. “Do you really have the nerve to say: “I said I was sorry,” to me? What did you think was going to happen at the end of this conversation? That we would kiss and makeup and I’d tend to your wounds? Saying sorry doesn’t change what happened! I’m not the one you should be apologizing to. You beat the living shit out of my brother! You scare me!”

Tears fall down your face and your voice is cracked and raw. A sob escapes your throat and you squeeze yourself into a ball closest to the door. Your shoulders shake and your hands tremble. Billy stares at you in disbelief. A tear escapes his eye and quickly wipes it away.

His fear had come true. Billy had managed to tear up your heart and scare you, something he swore to you and himself that he would never do. He hates himself for it.

You quickly unlock the door to his car and stumble out, holding onto your backpack tightly. You slam the door shut with such force that it makes Billy jump in the driver’s seat. He winces and watches you hurry off towards your car where your brother awaits.

Billy sniffs quietly, wiping his nose before angrily hitting the steering wheel with the palms of his hands.

Approaching Roy, you wipe at your cheeks and shake your head at both your brother and his girlfriend. The last thing you want is to sob your guts out in front of them. You just want to get into the car and go home without another word from either of them. You don’t want their pity or disapproving stares.

“I’ll take Roy home,” Christine tells you, wrapping her arm around Roy’s. You nod quietly, watching the two of them walk towards her car before climbing into the driver’s side.

Tossing your backpack in the passenger seat, you let out a heavy sigh.

The sound of Billy’s car engine rings through your ears. A tear slides down your cheek.

Mary would squeeze your face together in a weak attempt to make you laugh if she saw you like this. Too bad she called in sick today. If she knew how much Billy had made you cry, there would be hell to pay. You’re almost certain.

….

There’s a soft knock on your door. It’s the knock Roy uses when he knows you’re sad or upset. You’ve been sad and upset a lot lately.

“Yeah?” you shout over the music, rolling over on your bed so you face the door. You toss your book to the side.

“Can I come in?” Roy asks from behind the door.

“Sure.”

The door clicks open and Roy steps inside. He sends a soft smile your way before walking over to your bed. You reach over to turn off your radio. You sit up and twist your body so your legs are dangling off the bed. Roy takes a seat beside you. You stare at the brown carpet beneath you. Roy nudges you gently. You return the nudge and it makes him laugh. You smile too.

“You doing okay?”

You shrug silently, letting out a soft sigh. Your eyes are trained on the floor. You glance at him.

“I think I should be asking you that,” you joke lightly. The bruising on his right eye is nearly gone. The large gashes on his cheeks are now small cuts and there’s still a tiny bandaid on his nose.

Roy laughs, rolling his eyes at you. “I’m fine,” he answers.

It’s been two weeks since the fight and break up with Billy. Roy is mostly back to normal appearance wise and you’ve tried your best to stick to the routine you use to have before Billy came along.

You pick up more shifts at Macy’s and make an effort to hangout with the coworkers you like outside of work. You return to your study table at Benny’s Diner in the evenings you’re not working, but now you’re by yourself. You spend more time with Mary. Everything is relatively back to normal on your end.

Your not so sure about Billy’s. Knowing him, he’s back in his old ways, relishing in his self destructive behaviors and his new found freedom as a single man again. You have no clue. You’ve tried your best to avoid him at all costs and you’ve done a great job so far.

That, or Billy’s made it his mission to avoid you at all costs too. He hasn’t even spoken to you since your break up and his half ass apology. His eyes only lingering on you when you pass him in the hallways.

Silence falls between you and Roy and he lets out a gentle sigh. “I know that these past two weeks have been rough on you. I know you won’t admit it, but I know you miss him,” Roy tells you quietly.

You open your mouth to protest and scoff at his assumption, but Roy raises a brow at you. There’s no point in lying to him. You sigh, nodding your head at your brother.

“I know I shouldn’t,” you mumble shamefully. Tears form at the corners of your eyes and you hate yourself for it. You feel pathetic. You told yourself you were done crying over him. A year long relationship be damned. “He hurt someone that I love. He hurt you, Roy. You’re my brother, my dingus of a best friend. I can’t be with someone that hurt you like that.”

“Y/n—”

“Plus, he hasn’t apologized to you, so fuck that,” you interrupt him before laying back down on your bed. That was your deal breaker. If you were to ever speak to Billy again, it would have to be after he apologized sincerely to Roy. Anything less than an apology was shit to you, despite what your heart wanted.

“Hey, Dingus, if you stop interrupting me, I can tell you that he did,” Roy tells you, shoving you with a push of his hand. You shove your foot into his chest.

Your brows pinch together in confusion. “What are you talking about, Doofus?”

“Billy did apologize to me,” he answers. “He came over the other night while you were working. He seemed really genuine about it. He looked pretty upset. We talked for awhile. Things are okay between me and Billy now.”

You stare at Roy in utter disbelief. Your heart stops beating inside your chest. You can hardly breathe. You don’t believe him. You can’t. Billy doesn’t apologize to people other than you. Billy apologizing to Roy seemed impossible. Billy’s pride and stubbornness would get in the way of a sincere and genuine apology.

“I said sorry too,” Roy continues. “He was telling the truth about the girls at the party. Christine said she saw the whole thing. Besides, she was sober. He did push those girls away.”

You swallow the lump in your throat. Your head starts to spin. You don’t know what to say.

You take a careful breath inward and glance at your brother. He smiles at you and you sit up carefully. “Did he….” you trail off in a whisper, “did he say anything else?”

Roy grins. Your soft eagerness to know what else Billy had to say makes him smile. Roy nods his head in affirmation. “He did,” he answers. “He said that he loves you and that he hopes you can forgive him one day.”

You nod your head slowly and Roy laughs softly before shoving your knee one last time before standing up from where he sat on your bed. He leaves your room and gently shuts the door behind him.

You lay in bed, music now off and the book beside you long forgotten. You stare up at the ceiling. Shock runs through your body. Billy apologized. He apologized without telling you. You can hardly believe it, but you do. There’s no reason for Roy to lie to you.

You climb out of bed, not bothering to change out of the running shorts or old t-shirt your wearing. You comb through your hair before pulling it out of your face. You grab your house key and a ten dollar bill from your purse before walking out of your bedroom and heading downstairs. Toeing on your shoes, you open the front door and step outside. The mid May weather hits your skin just right as you shut and locked the door behind you.

You stop in your tracks when your eyes meet Billy’s.

He sends you a soft, nervous smile. Billy anxiously runs a hand through his hair as he leans against his car in your drive through. He’s holding a bouquet of white tulips in his hands.

“Hey,” Billy’s voice is soft and timid. It’s the same tone of voice he uses when he knows he’s fucked up with you. It’s the tone of voice he uses when he’s almost in tears.

You swallow hard. “Hi,” you greet him gently, walking down the porch steps. Your heart starts to race with every step you take closer to him.

Silence falls between the two of you and you scratch at your arm nervously.

“I’m walking over to Benny’s if you want to come,” you mutter quietly, staring at your shoes. You glance at Billy and he nods eagerly at you.

“Yeah, sure,” he replies, pushing off his car and joins you on the sidewalk. You walk quietly side by side as you head to the diner. You glance over at him and bite the inside of your cheek.

When you arrive at the diner, Billy opens the door for you and you thank him quietly. The bell above the door dings as you step inside. The two of you walk towards a corner booth, away from your normal table. You sit across from him and reach for a menu. You stare down at the table.

“How have you been?” Billy asks you quietly.

Your eyes meet his and you swallow hard. You shrug. “Fine, I guess. I’ve been working a lot,” you mutter. You glance down at the menu again. Another awkward silence falls between the two of you.

A waitress comes by and takes your order. You move your menu to the side and glance out the window. When the waitress comes back with your drinks you stare at Billy.

“I meant what I said,” you tell him, fighting back tears. “You scared me, Billy. When I saw Roy’s face that night, it scared the living daylights out of me.”

Billy nods his head. “I know. I know it did and I hate myself for it. I’m sorry, baby. I’m so sorry.”

Tears glisten in Billy’s eyes as he stares at you. You sniff quietly and wipe your nose with the back of your hand before setting it on the table. Billy reaches for your hand and his heart jumps inside his chest when you don’t pull away. He squeezes your hand and brings it up to his lips, kissing your knuckles gently.

“I don’t know what to say, Billy. I don’t know how I can move past this. You don’t trust me,” you tell him, reaching for your drink and taking a long sip.

“I do trust you,” Billy replies, squeezing your hand. He holds onto your hand like his life depends on it. He blinks back tears and wipes at his face. You’ve never seen Billy this open and vulnerable in such a public place before. The fear of anyone finding out that his tough guy personality is all just for show forces Billy to only be his true self behind closed doors with you. It shocks you. Hope blossoms inside your chest. Maybe this is a sign.

“I do trust you,” Billy repeats, a tear slides down his face. “I’m scared that you don’t trust me.”

You stare at him. Shock is written across your face. Your heart stops. You don’t know what to think, what to say, what to do. You can hardly breathe. A tear falls down your cheek.

You stumble out of the booth and nearly run out the door. Blood pumps through your ears and you’re numb. You can hardly hear Billy shouting your name. You just start running home. You can’t breathe. Your chest aches with each inhale. Your lungs burn.

“Y/n, baby, wait!” Billy shouts, running after you. His hand finds yours and he pulls you back. You spin around and stumble into his chest. You brace yourself against his chest.

“I can’t believe you don’t think I trust you!” you shout out of breath, gasping for air as you stand in your driveway. You shove him and he finds his balance against his precious car. Tears coat your cheeks. “I know you, Billy. I know you would never cheat on me. I know because you love me. I know because despite all the shit you’ve been through and who you pretend to be, you like who you are when you’re with me.”

You grab his stupid jacket and shake hit shoulders. Your eyes meet his and another tear falls down your face. “I love you, Pea Brain. I know who you are. I trust you. I trust you with every part of me.”

Billy laughs in disbelief and wipes at his eyes. Tears coat his warm, red cheeks as he cries. “I don’t want to lose you again. I don’t want to lose you to my temper. I never want to scare you like that again. Please forgive me,” he whispers to you. Billy’s voice is soft and gentle, desperate for your answer.

You stare at him with tears of your own on your face. You’re breathing heavy and your head spins. You take a small steps towards him. It makes Billy’s heart race as he watches you carefully.

“Please,” you whimper, staring into his glossy blue eyes, “please work on your temper. Promise me you will.”

Billy nods his head. He reaches for your hands and kisses them firmly. “I will, baby. I promise. I promise to work on my temper,” he tells you, sniffing quietly as the last of his tears dampen his cheeks.

A deafening silence falls between the two of you and you turn your head away from him. Your heart races and you let out a careful breath. Your eyes meet his.

“I’m sorry, baby. Please forgive me.”

Another tear fall down your face and you nod your head. You walk straight into his arms and hold on to him as tightly as you can. Billy’s arms wrap around your torso as he hugs you. A cry of relief escapes Billy’s mouth as he holds you.

His fingers card through your hair and you squeeze his t-shirt. You pull away from the crock of his neck and rest a hand against his cheek. He leans into your touch and you rest your forehead against his.

“I forgive you,” you tell him, brushing a few of his blond curls out of his face. You hold his face gently and brush a tear off his cheek.

Billy’s nose brushes against yours and presses his mouth against yours. The kiss is soft and gentle and he cradles your neck. You tug on his hair and relish in the feeling of his mouth on yours. He pulls away and kisses your forehead.

“I love you,” he whispers.

You smile gently at him and kiss his cheek. “I love you, too,” you tell him, wrapping your arms around his waist. Billy grins and kisses you sweetly.

“Do you want to come inside?”

Billy laughs, pushing your hair behind your ear. He smirks and presses kisses across your face. “Isn’t Roy home?”

You raise a brow at him. “And that matters you you because….” you trail off with a growing smirk.

Billy shrugs, kissing you warmly. You smile against his mouth. “It doesn't. I just don’t want him to hear his sister having too much fun in her bedroom,” he teased. “He doesn’t need to know what your moans sound like. They’re for my ears only.”

You gasp at him and shove him gently. Heat spreads across your face and Billy steals another kiss. His taste and touch linger on your skin.

“What makes you think that I’ll be having any fun?” you ask playfully, biting the inside of your cheek.

Billy grins. His smile meets his eyes. It makes your heart jump inside you chest. He squishes your cheeks together. “Just a hunch,” he answers, kissing your pouty lips.

“Oh, really?” you hum.

He nods. “Mhm. That and it’s been two and a half weeks since I’ve touched you.”

You laugh, shaking your head and lacing your fingers with his. You kiss the back of his hand. Your Billy is back in your arms and you couldn’t be happier.

“Okay, Mister. That’s enough outta you.”

Billy laughs and you steal one last kiss before tugging him up the porch steps inside your house and into your bedroom.

#hi pls tell me what u think!!!!#billy hargrove x reader #billy hargrove #billy hargrove imagines #billy hargrove imagine #billy x reader #billy imagine #billy imagines #stranger things x reader #stranger things #stranger things imagine #stranger things imagines #my writing

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dayasbun · 5 years

Text

Fame - Angus Cloud (4)

Summary- a luckily timed audition leads to you falling for your new and unexpected co-star.

Warnings- okay HI welcome to my first multi chapter series woah?! this is actually so exciting for me like wow especially since angus doesn’t have any fics yet im just really really excited- so warnings! smut for sure, bad words, lotsa fluff, angst- everything in one basically. here comes a ride and I hope you enjoy :)

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4 {reading now}

“Fuck right there- Oh my god please-” You moaned holding his hair. “You never had anyone eat your pussy like this before right?” he said eating deeper as you moaned and squirmed. “Only you baby, this pussy is only you-”

“Yo wake the fuck up, you making weird noises and shit.”

You sat up taking in a deep breath and inspected your surroundings. There stood a worried Angus with a mug in his hand. “I'm fine...” you said quite unconvincingly.

“You sure? I went to make you some tea and came back to you rolling around and groaning and shit, thought that strange netflix monster had come to you or sum.”

“The demogorgan-”

“Yeah that shit!” He sat next to you on the edge of the bed. “Nightmare?” he asked softly as he handed you the tea.

“Well not exactly...” You took the warm mug and took in a long swig of the warm goodness. It's not like you were just going to openly tell him ‘Oh no, I just had a dream about you eating me out and I loved every second of it.’ “Actually yeah, a nightmare.” you lied.

“I hate those, what was yours about?”

“I...a monster ate me alive and I couldn't stop it.”

Angus shook his head. “Damn mamas, I’m sorry. Those suck, I know its like 2 pm, but let’s eat some breakfast and try to forget about it.”

You nodded standing up and stretching “Thanks...for the tea.”

“Of course, don’t girls love tea? Ion know, I don't really be sleeping with girls that often.” He chuckled walking into the small kitchen.

“Tea is amazing!” You exclaimed, following him and sitting on the counter. “I love tea in all seasons, it has so many benefits.”

“Yeah? What’s some of them benefits.”

“Well green tea has amazing antioxidants, and is a more naturally caffeinated drink than coffee- with not as many negative results. But don't get me wrong, I really do love my coffee- anyway! Tea can help straighten and strengthen bones, brighten your smile, and help you lose weight!!”

“Oh wow.” He laughed “I didn't even care about all that tea shit, just wanted to hear your voice. But it was actually kinda interesting.”

“Yeah- and don't worry about a lack of my voice, I never shut up.”

“You right about that; but before you get all defensive, its aight. I like hearing you blab off about random stuff ion care about.”

You felt your face grow hot as you stifled a giggle that wanted to come out. “Thank you. I think I talk too much, but hey, can't really stop it y’know?” Angus nodded as he cracked 5 eggs into a pan. “You just be going off about stuff- actually you was sleep talking a little bit.”

Fuck.

“Yeah? What was I saying?” you asked innocently, hoping he didn't say what he was most definitely about to say.

“Well it was when you had that nightmare. Was the monster a cow or sum? Cuz you kept saying ‘Angus’ so like.” He turned to look at you “I figure it wasn’t me, but it was probably like...some beef monster.”

“Oh yeah, for sure a beef monster.”

“And that beef monster was eating you huh?”

You smoothly tucked your hair behind your ear and nodded with a sweet smile “Mhm.”

Angus gave you a quick up and down look before turning around and continuing to scramble the eggs. You had to change the current topic or you'd die of embarrassment, so you decided to bring up the topic of the show instead. “Do you know which scenes we’re filming tomorrow?”

“Yeah, no sex scenes until next week. Tomorrow they finna do you coming back and me reminiscing on the old times.”

“Okay cool. I have those lines down, pretty simple...” You mumbled.

“Yeah me too.”

A butcher knife couldn't even cut the tension in the room right now. Fuck, a chainsaw couldn't either.

“So like... I’m gonna go change and I'll be right back? Sound good?”

“You can wear summa my stuff. If you want- you don’t got to i'm just offering.”

“Oh that'd be great thanks! You know my trailer is just so far away!” You joked, knowing that it was only next door. You hopped off of the counter and followed him back into the room you two had just come out of.

“You just want one big shirt? Girls be doing that alot nowadays.”

“Yeah, thanks that'd be great...”

“So the biggest shirt I got got some barbecue stains on it- ignore it. I just went off on some spicy wings the other day-”

You burst out laughing and sat on the bed “Gus it’s fine, gimme!” You pulled your shirt off and held out your hands. He turned back around to find you only in your bra and shorts.

“Yooooo-”

“Its fine, we have to be completely naked with each other next week. Titties are just titties.” You took the shirt out of his hands and put it on. After pulling off the shorts that you wore underneath the shirt; that was more like a dress- and folding them, you walked back into the kitchen and reclaimed your spot on the counter.

“Well I know one problem we won't have!” You stated with a smirk.

“Yeah, and what's that?”

“Drake was worried you wouldn't be able to ‘get it up’...but honestly, I don’t think it'll be too hard.”

“Why you think that?”

“Look down.”

Sure, Angus wouldn't let you live down the wet dream you had about him for quite a while, but you'd never let him live down the boner he got- just from seeing you in a bra.

“So. Let's get to the real real.” Storm said pulling her knees up to her chest with a grin. “What the hell is going on with you and Angus?”

You, Storm and Daya were hanging in your trailer. You three were the only girls that didn't have scenes to film right now, Alexia, Barbie and the rest of the female cast were shooting night scenes. They had helped you set up the place to seem more homey, and now the newly formed trio you were a part of was in your bed with microwave popcorn, juicy juice, and twizzlers.

“Nothing Storm! Actually nothing I-”

“Nope, don't do that.” Z quickly cut you off. “Everyone can see it, it’s like what everyone on set talks about.”

“What?-”

“Plus, he talks about you too much, and you do the same with him! Earlier I said I wanted to pop some microwave popcorn and you started telling me about some conspiracy he told you about popcorn and microwaves, how they’re a secret way in for the government- like girl! Don't tell me you're so whipped that you're out here believing this stuff!”

“OKAY! Okay! I get it...look Gus is-”

“Gus?! You call him Gus?”

“Yeah?-”

“He literally hates that nickname with a passion. He gotta love you.” Storm chuckled grabbing a handful of popcorn.

“Okay well Angus is cute. He’s sweet and funny and caring- BUT. I won’t let anything happen between us, it’s like...business. This field is acting- and I don't think it would be good for us to do anything more, especially during filming.”

Z sighed. “Falling for your costars is weird.”

“Yeah.” Storm chimed in. “Our girl Daya been there and done that...but it never really affected her acting. She's so talented that she could keep it hidden off screen and focus on her character. I mean I know you talented Y/N...but you not my big sis like Z, so I don't really know how you'd be able to deal with it yet. Drake already seemed a bit iffy about it because he could tell you two had a little something going, but the thing comforting him is y'all are talented. So he knows you can do it- I know you can too.”

“Yeah he sent us a letter about it...it's just hard. I can't lose this role, I've come so far.”

“I don't think you’ll lose it. I think you'll be fine. Just keep a business mindset when on set. What goes on off screen and behind closed doors is your business, girl. Drake or nobody can stop that- Jesus can't even stop that!”

You and Storm giggled at Zendaya’s last comment. “Yeah yeah yeah...okay I get it guys. I got this- period.”

“Period.”

“Period...So were you one of those girls that watched all the Fez scene compilations on Youtube and drooled?” Storm teased you.

“No!” You said firmly, knowing you were lying.

“Oh she definitely was.”

“I wasn't!”

“I just don't see it! Angus is just not attractive to me, he looks like one of those guys that stop you at the gas station with a ghetto ass group of friends- he rubs his hands together and then screams ‘Hey baby lemme get yo numbaaaa!!!!’“

In response, you practically fell over laughing “Stoppp no!”

The rest of the night was filled with giggles and whispers, and by 1 AM, you, Z, and Storm were all huddled up in your little twin trailer bed. They snored softly but you couldn't seem to sleep. Just as you were .1 seconds away from drifting off, your phone buzzed next to you.

Angus☁️: u uppppp

-oh wow yeah that's not the most fboy thing ever to send at 1:27 am

Angus☁️: see all you had to say was yes you didn't have to do allat

-can i help you mr cloud

Angus☁️: what typa help you offering?

-whatever help you need.

Angus☁️: you finna have some more beef dreams tonight?

-you finna get a boner if you see me in my bra again?

Angus☁️: maybe.

-then i'll say maybe too.

Angus☁️: you're too much

-i know i am, did you film today?

Angus☁️: ye i had some scenes wit jacob

-wit

Angus☁️: leave me alone

-you texted me

-and wow you sound really mature rn not at all like a five year old

Angus☁️: if i was w you rn id make you regret that

-was that supposed to be a threat or a way to try to make me sext

Angus☁️: both

-you should go text all the hoes you have waiting for you at home

Angus☁️: im texting them at the same time

-boy...

Angus☁️: im plAyin

Angus☁️: only you :)

-getting soft???

Angus☁️: no and i wish this was instagram dms so i could unsend it fuck

-fuck

Angus☁️: thats another thing you was saying during your ‘nightmare’

-STOP NO I WAS NOT

Angus☁️: yeah i know you wasnt lmao i just like messing w you

-you can mess w me whenever you want to

Angus☁️: oh bet????

-goodnight angus

Angus☁️: nah i want you to tell me about me messing w you

Angus☁️: damn you really left

Angus☁️: thats wrong

Angus☁️: doing me dirty

-GTS MY PHONE KEEPS GOING OFF

Angus☁️: then put it on silent?

-NO

Angus☁️: ill stop being annoying if you come over here

-i cant, im w z and storm too

Angus☁️: shit okay well it was worth a shot

-why, what was you planning to do

Angus☁️: cuddle

-its fr time for you to go bed, i think your sleepiness is making you too soft and taking the hood away

Angus☁️: goodnight

-goodnight

Angus☁️: gn

-gn

Angus☁️: night

-night

Angus☁️: GOODNIGHT

-OKAY GN

Angus☁️: STOP REPLYING

Angus☁️: night

taglist:

@nikkixostan @melaninmarvel @celiajrs @siriuslycollins

#euphoria #angus cloud #fez euphoria #fezco euphoria #hbo euphoria #angus cloud fic #fezco imagine #fezco x reader #fezco fluff #fezco fic

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butididntpourthewhiskeys · 5 years

Text

L O V E B O U N D

“Christmasbound I”

No, it’s not Christmas yet but maybe it is cause I finally found the time to post this first chapter! Chapter 2 will follow if enough people read this xx

________________________________________

Snow is heavily blowing into her face, almost hurtful, making her favorite season in the world feel not that as comforting anymore as it usually does. She squeaks her eyes together quickly, her nose red from the cold while holding onto the little cold hand tightly as she steps up quickly. The big door of the old brick building is covered with a little roof. Luckily. She feels snow turning to water on the tip of her nose as she leans in to ring the doorbell. Taylor shakes her head one time, feels snowflakes fall down from her bangs. She then immediately looks down to the blonde toddler next to her, wrapped securely in a dark green snowsuit. Instead of Taylor, the five year old doesn’t really seem to care about the fact that her entire face is covered in snowflakes, her little cheeks are flushed. She pulls out her tongue, tries to lick the snowflakes from her nose. Taylor automatically reaches down, strokes her hand over the little cold face to warm her up.

This snowstorm out here is crazy.

Just before Taylor gets to fix the two little buns on her curly head, that are also covered in snow by now, the door in front of her suddenly opens and the little girl immediately lets go off Taylor’s hand, excitedly squeaks while running off and into the tall man’s arms. “Daddy!“ she smiles, reaches for him. Joe immediately picks up the cold and wet toddler, his big hands holding onto the small body as tightly as he can. He looks tired, she can see that clearly. He wears his old grey sweatpants and the white basic tee he always used to sleep in.

“My little angel, I missed you so much.“ He moans into his baby’s arms, holds her as tight as physically possible on his arm. “I missed you too, daddy.“ the little toddler mumbles into his neck. Taylor swallows lightly, fixes the grip of her bag on her shoulder while feeling his stare on her, after pulling back from the tight hug. She clears her throat slowly, doesn’t want to ruin the moment between Joe and his daughter but really wants to escape the ice cold breeze she’s still in. “Can I come in?“ she asks and the blonde tall man immediately lets the little snow angel down, signals her to come in. Eleanor immediately hugs his legs once more while gushing at him from the floor and Taylor feels her stomach churn.

It’s always these moments in which she realizes how much Eleanor misses her father. The way her little arms hold onto him. The way she craves his closeness in this moment, while standing in the doorway. This girl truly has a lot of love for her daddy and by the way Joe’s eyes lid up as soon as he saw her, Taylor knows that he feel the same.

“Of course. Come in. I just made some hot chocolate.“ Joe says euphorically. He looks happy that they’re here. She feels that even though she wishes he’d hold back his excitement.

Taylor smiles politely, simply closes the door behind her. She feels the warmth of the big fireplace coming from the living room, still smells her old Byredo candles that she left here.

“Uh, I’m just gonna give you her bag. A change of clothes is in there. There’s her little jeans dress for tomorrow when we drop her off at school. And her glittery tights. We have also brought Barbie, Ken and her Elsa. We don’t have a book but I think you still have the one where..“ “Don’t you wanna stay for some hot chocolate? The weather is insane outside and..“ “To be honest I still wanted to work a little as long as she’s at your place.“ Taylor says, looks at her daughter to not have to look at him.

She knows what he’s doing. He tries this every time.

“C’mon Tay. I won’t let you go home through this snowstorm. How on earth did you two get here without freezing anyway? Stay here until the weather is better, please.“ he says, his daughter pulling his hand, clearly impatient and wanting all of his attention now. He grabs the toddler and places her on the little velvet lounger that is right next to the wardrobe next to the door. Taylor sighs. She hates it, but he’s right. Maybe the snow will get less soon. Maybe walking home in an hour really makes more sense. “Okay, fine.“ she mumbles, quietly takes off her black boots, places them next to his wardrobe. As she takes off her big black coat she can’t help but smile silently. Joe, who’s on his knees in front of the little green snowman just leaned in to kiss his daughter’s cold cheek. But a small kiss turned into plenty kisses and Eleanor giggles loudly, tries to shove his scruffy chin away from her.

“Daddy.“ She laughs and Joe let go off her, immediately reaches for her feet to pull off her snow boots. “Daddy, I have my wish tree for you. Ms. Clarkson said we have to make one for our mommies and our daddies and so I made one for mommy and for you. And I have one for me. Can you write your wishes on it, daddy? You have to do it fast before Santa Claus comes tomorrow. Can we make pancakes later?“ Taylor just remains next to them, her arms crossed while watching Joe take off the big snow suit from the small body. He looks up at Taylor for a second and grins silently. She returns the smile, can’t help but laugh quietly as well. The little girl can’t stop talking. That, she definitely has from her mother.

“A wish tree? What’s that, bug?“ Joe asks with his thick British accent and looks at the blonde girl that just throws her head back laughing out loud. Her two curly buns are a bit messy as well and of course, she wears her favorite sparkly Christmas sweater. After all, she’s still Taylor’s daughter. It’s more than obvious.

“Are you laughing at me?“ Joe asks in a high pitched voice, acts a little insulted while laughing at his daughter who’s still goofing around, then covers her mouth mischievously with her hands. Joe starts to poke her little tummy and Eleanor yelps laughing. “Daddy, a wish tree!“ The girl says again, obviously can’t believe that Joe still has no clue what this is. Joe in the meantime has shared an amused look with Taylor once more and grabs the little goofy girl to lift her up. “Why don’t you explain daddy what a wish tree is, E?“ Taylor says and walks right behind them into the living room.

She takes a deep breath. Traces from her past interior decorations are still visible in these four walls. The little treehouse candle on top of the fireplace. The painting she made him for his twenty- seventh birthday is on the wall. Small reminders of their past are still haunting this house. She has no idea how he can simply keep all this. All these reminders of the dreams and hopes that never came true. All the things she left behind back then when she left.

“It’s a Christmas tree that I painted and then cut out of the paper and.. and every mommy and every daddy can write down ten wishes for Christmas and the new year. And that’s because my tree has ten pine branches.“ Eleanor explains, holds onto her daddy’s shoulders. Joe places her on the high chair that’s on the wooden dinner table in the center of the room. He has never moved it aside, clearly held onto her promise to let Eleanor spend every second weekend with him. This time, it’s the weekend of Christmas. A rough decision she had to make. Christmas without her baby girl. The first one without Eleanor. Her family was heartbroken about the fact that they’d have to relinquish Eleanor yet understood that it’s Joe’s turn now. After all, the last year has been difficult on him as well. The first Christmas without Eleanor.

The first Christmas without her.

“Wow and you made me one as well?“ Joe asks, sinks his head and steals another kiss from Eleanor’s head before looking at Taylor again. “I’m gonna get it, hang on.“ she says, knows how eager her daughter is to show her father what she has made in school for him. After entering the long hallway once more and finding the piece of green cardboard in her Eleanor’s little koala backpack, she returns into the warm living room and hands Eleanor her present. By now, the little girl has a hot chocolate mustache on her face already, excitedly hands the tree to her dad. Joe slowly slides another cup of hot cocoa towards Taylor’s direction. She smiles silently and sits down on the opposite side of the two. Her eyes wander off into the kitchen behind them. He’s still as chaotic as he used to be. A feeling of familiarity spreads all over her. She likes this feeling. She likes to think that some things maybe never really have changed after all.

“This is beautiful. Eleanor. Did you make this? All by yourself?“ he asks euphorically, almost thrilled and looks at his daughter who sips on the hot cup of cocoa while holding the big cup with both of her little hands. She carefully places the, for her, huge cup in front of her again and nods proudly. A little proud smile creeping through her lips. “Love, that’s amazing. You’re a little artist. Like your mum, huh?“ Joe asks and smiles, makes his daughter laugh and Taylor smile softly. He looks at the Christmas tree in his hands. The little girl has drawn many stars and sparkles all over the cardboard. Tree ornaments and hearts included. For a five year old, he really is impressed. “And that’s where I’m supposed to write down my wishes?“ he asks and points to the branches of the tree. The curly head immediately nods and explains her daddy how it works. After finishing her hot cocoa and giving her dad more than a few cuddles, Eleanor storms off to the little big box at the end of the living room, starts to take out all her favorite toys that she has left at dad’s house and starts to play on the floor. After a few “don’t forget to put everything back into the box again later“ from Taylor, Eleanor seems to be in her own world, hums a few Christmas songs she has learned in school while playing with her dolls.

“Everything good? How are you?“ Joe asks, still hanging loosely on the chair in front of her, one hand around the still warm cup and the other one running through his hair. He looks tired. She can clearly sense that. “Yeah, everything’s good. How are you?“ Taylor asks, takes another sip from the cup in front of her. She’s finally unfreezing, the fireplace clearly doing the trick. “Tired. I came home from New York this morning.“ he says, Taylor nods. “How’s your movie going?“ “Great. Yeah, really good.“ he answers, doesn’t really go into it at all. For the first second, Taylor is confused. But then, she gets why. He doesn’t want to talk about his career to her. He doesn’t want her to think that this is still all he does, all he has. He doesn’t want her to think that she was right, when she left. That the only priority he has, is acting.

“How’s Naomi?“ Taylor asks, doesn’t know why she even asked, clearly wanted to change the subject from his career as quick as possible. “Who?“ He asks, a big yawn escaping his mouth. Taylor looks at him in shock. “Your girlfriend? Naomi?“ “Oh.“ He suddenly realizes, blushes a lot. “Oh. good. good.“ he answers, seems just as uncomfortable as her. Taylor nods. She knew that they were never really a thing and his reaction just confirmed this to her. Suddenly it’s quiet again, Eleanor’s angelic voice making both of them smile. She seems to be in her own fantasy world, sings her very own version of ‘holy night‘ while building her Barbies a new home on his carpet.

“What’s new with you?“ Joe asks, clearly wanted to break the silence and looks at her. „Not much. I’m just writing at the moment and..“ “Your album?“ “Album?“ “You said ‘writing‘.“ „Oh.“ Taylor mumbles, “No, I’m.. I’m writing songs. For people. Not me. Mom duties make touring and promoting an album impossible right now.“ She says. Joe nods. He seems interested, but not as much in her albums. “I understand. But.. I can help you out more if you want. I mean.. I’m done with my movie and I’ll have way more time next year. Nothing’s planned at the moment. So..“ “That’s nice. Thanks. But I think I’m good.“ She says, looks up at him with that same cold stare and nods. This was clearly not the answer he wanted. She can feel that.

“Are you happy?“ Joe suddenly asks and Taylor looks up at him once more. She feels a lump in her throat. She definitely wasn’t prepared for this question. “Sure.“ she answers, manages to raise the corner of her mouth. She can’t really look into his eyes. “You?“ She asks, wants to take the attention from her and her happiness as fast as humanly possible. “I’ve been better.“ He says, a little too honest for her taste. Taylor doesn’t answer anymore, is suddenly super interested in the cup in her hands.

“Mommy, look.“ The little girl suddenly comes running to her mom. Taylor has never been more happy about this interruption by her daughter, immediately turns to look at the Barbie Eleanor has in her hand. “It’s the mermaid Barbie.“ She squeaks excitedly. Taylor looks at her daughter and smiles. “Oh honey!“ She laughs, happy for her baby girl. “And we thought you had lost her in school. See? I told you to look at daddy’s house first.“ Taylor says, her arm around her daughters small torso, pressing a sluggish kiss onto her cheek. Joe looks at the two in front of them and remains silent. He feels many things in this moment. Things he knew he couldn’t forget. Ever. Not in this life. “Call me next time and I’ll have a look.“ Joe says eagerly and looks at Taylor with a serious look on his face. She returns his stare and nods. She feels this protectiveness radiating from him all of a sudden. They had this talk a few months ago. He wants to be more involved. He always says that. But it’s difficult for her to let him enter her life when she’s the one who wanted to leave his. “You were busy working in New York.“ “I’m never too busy to talk to you and I also would’ve known that the Barbie was in there. Also.. you have a key. Don’t you?“ “I won’t use the key when..“ “Daddy can we make some pancakes? I’m hungry.“ Eleanor interrupts her mom and walks over to her daddy to press her head into his side. Joe immediately picks her up and places her on his lap before giving her a cheek a kiss from behind. “First of all, we don’t interrupt when mummy’s talking, love. Second.. pancakes with bananas? And chocolate?“ “Yes daddy.“ she smiles and Joe kisses her once more. Taylor remains silent. As so often since she’s here, in his house. Joe seems so happy and carefree since Eleanor’s here. He looks much more content with everything than when he first opened this door a few minutes ago. She swallows. Long forgotten feelings slowly seem to creep back up. Separating herself from him meant also separating him from Eleanor. And Eleanor from Joe. She separated these two human beings in some way. These two people who love each other endlessly. She takes a deep breath, looks at him disappear in the kitchen. She spent too many nights feeling this overwhelming amount of guilt on her chest after hearing Eleanor ask for her daddy. After listening to Joe’s crying on her speaker, begging voice messages asking her to come home. Asking her to give him another chance.

“One for mummy as well?“ Joe asks, slowly looks back at her with Eleanor on his arm. The little monkey immediately crawls onto his back and giggles into Joe’s neck while opening the fridge for her dad to take out all the ingredients he’ll need. Taylor suddenly stirs from her thoughts, quickly shakes her head. “No, I should.. I should get going now.“ She says, quickly gets up. “Are you sure? It’s still crazy out there and it’s dark already.“ Joe says, suddenly not caring about the open fridge anymore, slowly walking back to her again. “I can call a driver.“ She says, smiles politely at him. Just when he was about to say something to her, Taylor interrupts him. “Goodbye, baby. Have a great time with daddy.“ Taylor says and Eleanor slowly crawls down from her father’s back to touch the floor with her feet again to give her mom a last hug. “Bye mommy.“ she says and Taylor crouches down until her head is on one level with her daughter. She places both of her hands on her cheeks, kisses Eleanor’s small lips gently. “Be nice to daddy and listen to him. Bedtime is when daddy tells you. No dramatic show stunts before going to bed, okay? love you.“ She says and kisses Eleanor again. “Okay mommy.“ Taylor smiles at her and gets up. Joe slowly walks with Taylor down the hallway, while Eleanor storms off to play with her doll house again that she has carefully built on the expensive carpet in Joe’s living room. “Are you sure..“ “Yeah, Brandon can pick me up.“ She says and holds her phone next to her ear already. She grabs her coat slowly, confused about the fact that her call doesn’t seem to get through.

“Don’t forget to make her go to the toilet before going to bed. We’ve had a few accidents in the last weeks. Oh and no chocolate after 6pm.“ Taylor says and Joe nods. “I know.“ “Good.“ Taylor answers, desperately tries to call her driver again yet the end of the line seems dead. She doesn’t seem to have any phone connection at all. The snowstorm that was predicted for this weekend must be the reason for this state of emergency in town. No phone connection. No tube. Not even London cabs are available today. “Don’t you want to stay? I still have the guest room and I’d really feel better knowing you’re not out there tonight. It’s almost dark outside.“ Joe says, looks at Taylor with a concerned look. She’s still trying to make her phone work, just stands in front of him with her black coat, ready to leave this house. “Shit, can I try your phone?“ She asks and Joe sighs. “Sure. But think about my offer.“ He asks, remains with her in the hallway. He doesn’t move. He doesn’t go to get his phone because he wants her to stay. She’s been avoiding him so much since over a year now and he can’t do this anymore. Not being with the woman who he considered the love of his life once is tough enough. But not even being able to talk to her normally, like they used to, is even harder on him.

Taylor notices his eager look while hearing Eleanor play in his living room. She slowly puts down her phone and sighs. Then she looks up at him. He has this hopeful look on his face. Taylor just shakes her head softly. “Don’t you notice how awkward this is?“ She asks, looks at him with an honest look for the first time in a while. “I do. And I don’t like it.“ He says, seems thankful for her honesty in this moment. “Me neither.“ “We were best friends.“ He then says and Taylor looks up at him once more. She finds sadness in his eyes, even though he smiles at the thought of their past. She’s captivated by his look, this trip in his eyes to back then. Back to the secret moments they shared in every crowded room. Back to the secret smiles and the awareness of the fact that no one really knew anything, except for them. No one really knew what this thing was, this thing between them. They never really were just lovers. They were best friends. More than that. They had this secret bond that was there from the very first second. They were inseparable. They were the bestest of friends on this planet. A unit. One. Even long before Eleanor came into their lives.

“We always used to be a team and I don’t see why we shouldn’t be that anymore. We have Eleanor and we should be a team again. For her.“

Taylor nods softly. He’s right. Being co- parents means more than dropping the kid off at each other’s houses and avoiding eye contact. She always admired how her parents dealt with their divorce, never let her to her brother feel any tensions between them. And that’s because there were none. That’s because they decided to be a team for their kids. And this is how it should be.

“You’re right.“

“Why don’t you stay over and we start to.. to become a team again? I’m sure Eleanor won’t mind.“ Joe says and laughs softly at the end. Taylor smiles back at him. Of course she won’t mind. If there’s one thing this little girl loves more than anything, it’s mommy and daddy time. Of course. This is what she was used to for the first three years of her life. This is how it was always supposed to be. Mommy and Daddy. Taylor and Joe.

“A team?“

“A team. Maybe not as good as ‘team frosty crew’ but.. still a pretty good team.“ he answer, smirks at her. He’s thinking back to the same moment she does. She can see it in his smile. She can feel it in his eyes. The same starry eyes looking at her as back then…

Five years, three days and two hours earlier.

“Okay, can we go through this again?“ she asks while standing in front of the little drawer in the hallway, struggles with putting on the silver bracelet that her mother has gotten her for her birthday. She’s nervous. Not just a bit. Whenever things don’t work out as they were planned, she starts to feel stressed and panicked nowadays. This new habit of her is also one of the things she still has to get used to when it comes to her unpredictable emotions nowadays.

“Taylor, this is my bloody family. Not the supreme court of the United States.“ He groans back from the kitchen, his mouth clearly full. “Stop eating it, holy crap.“ She yells at him, is met by amused laughter from the tall man in her kitchen. She just shakes her head, finally manages to close the silver bracelet. With her high heels she slowly walks into the kitchen, finds Joe leaning against the corner. His head is sunk and he’s focused on the lemon tart in front of him. With a silver fork he eats the messed up cake, clearly famished. His mouth is full and Taylor just shakes her head, crosses her arms. Joe suddenly notices her and can’t help but smirk at her annoyed stare.

“That’s gross. It was out there for three hours. The fucking cake must be frozen by now, how..“

“I like frosty cake.“ He answers, referring to one of their inside jokes. Taylor just shakes her head. She sometimes has no idea how this slender man can eat so much and not suffer from obesity or diabetes. He’s literally about to eat the entire cake she has baked for his mum’s Christmas dinner and which she forgot on the patio this afternoon. She just wanted the hot dessert to cool down for a few minutes. Everything was planned. His grandparents from Scotland would be in town. His eccentric grandmother everyone in his family fears. Because grandma Maria is not just a rich old lady. In his mum’s words she’s described as a ‘dictator of taste’, a ’meticulous old lady’ and other unlovely things. Taylor has never met Maria, but the fact that she’s about to give birth to her beloved grandson’s first child is enough reason to feel pressured to give an amazing first impression. She knows that it’s stupid to make it a challenge to impress this old lady. But she wants grandma Maria to like her. She wants her to think that she’s ’good enough’ to be part of his family. And Taylor is sure that she would’ve loved her lemon tart recipe. But thanks to her pregnancy brain, she left the beautiful cake outside for three hours and simply forgot it there. A snowstorm has hit the London sky by the time she remembered and her beautiful tart was ruined with snowflakes and water already. There’s no way they can present this mess to his grandmother now. Even Joe agrees with that.

“You look beautiful, wow.“ Joe says all of the sudden and smiles at her with a full mouth. She just sighs, slowly walks up to him. He inspects her outfit once more. She looks like a model for a Christmas commercial. A Christmas commercial with a beautiful pregnant lady. Her red lips and her green velvet dress with long sleeves and high neck match perfectly. Her hair is curly as always and the little J necklace she didn’t take off at all in the last two years is the perfect jewelry to this attire. She also wears high heels, which he hates nowadays. Because nowadays she can’t really see her own feet anymore and stumbling in her advanced stage of pregnancy is something he definitely wants her to avoid. Joe looks into her beautiful face. Something is up. He can see it clearly.

“Baby, what’s..“

“Give me that stupid fork.“ She interrupts him aggressively and casually takes his fork before shoving a huge portion of the cake into her mouth. He can’t help but laugh at her. As much as she acted like if eating the frozen cake is ‘disgusting‘, she still seems to crave the sugary paste as much as he did before. “Someone’s moody today.“ “M’ no moody“ she immediately complains with a full mouth and Joe can’t help but smirk at her. He looks at her eating the ruined cake. She’s about to cry, he knows that look. Joe just lets out a low breath, clearly amused by her behavior. She looks like a Christmas ornament with the little bow on the back of her dress. A pretty round Christmas ornament, thanks to the baby belly in front of her.

He carefully places his hand on her back, draws circles with his big hands on the spot that pains her a lot nowadays. Then he slowly takes the fork from her, kisses her cheek to sooth her in advance.

“What are you doing?“

“Making sure you won’t get sick before dinner. We’ve been there.“ he says in a deep voice, clearly tries to calm her. Taylor doesn’t even fight him, just swallows the rest of the cake in her mouth and takes a deep breath. Joe then grabs her two hands and makes her look at him.

“We’ve talked about this for at least ten times. You made the cake. If anyone asks, Isabel from your PR team has a friend that works at Crimson’s bakery and she got you the recipe. You added some.. something, and that’s why it tastes exactly as If we had bought it. Which we haven’t. Because.. you baked it. With your bare hands. Like a real housewife.“ He says, clearly not as serious about their little lie as Taylor would want him to be. She seems stressed, feels like she failed already. “It was just a cake. Your mom asked me just for a fucking cake. Your grandmother will think I can’t bake. Or cook. She’ll probably think I’ll feed my child Nando’s for the rest of my..“ “Taylor, no one will notice that we bought it.“ “We have to find another bakery. I’m serious. Your grandma knows Crimson’s. Everyone does. Fuck. Why don’t we..“ “Baby! It’s Christmas. No other bakery in our radius has lemon tart. I called every fucking bakery in this town today. Please calm down. Our plan is bulletproof.“ He smiles, both of her hands still in his. She just shrugs her shoulders, as whiny as so often nowadays. He can’t help but laugh at her, then immediately pulls her into a hug. Her baby belly against his stomach, his hands on top of the soft velvet fabric on the back of her dress. She smells incredible, just like the pine scented fragrance she put on earlier. He can feel her slowly resting her head against his shoulder. The pressure of impressing his grandmother is a lot on her, even though she’d never admit it to him. She has planned her outfit for days, planned the dessert and everything she would say and do. He doesn’t like it. He doesn’t like the fact that she’s stressing herself so much just to leave a good impression on his difficult grandmother. Christmas was always her favorite holiday. A ruined cake shouldn’t be the reason for her not to enjoy it this time around. One year ago, when Taylor was pregnant for the first time, she put just as much stress on her as she does now. She was scared. She was terrified. She wanted this baby but she was stressed to manage pregnancy and touring equally well. The doctors assured her that the miscarriage happened for different reasons. But he knows that the emotional baggage has influenced a lot. The loss of their baby is something they both have learned from. She needs to relax. She needs to think of herself, not let these irrelevant things get to her too much.

All that matters is her and their baby.

“I just wanted her to think that I’m capable of feeding a family. I wanted her to think that I’m not just a stupid singer, but also.. a housewife. A mother. I just want her to like me.“ she then mumbles into his chest and Joe can’t help but laugh slowly. “Where’s your feminism all of the sudden?“ “I forgot it outside with my dessert and my dignity.“ She shoots back and Joe smiles. He lets out a last sigh, then slowly moves his head to kisses her forehead. “She will love you. I promise. She’ll never find out that we bought the cake.“ He reassures her, strokes her back up and down a few times. She doesn’t move, remains limb in his arms and closes her eyes. She enjoys his back rubs. She enjoys them a lot.

“At what time to we have to pick up the cake?“ She murmurs then, receives another kiss on her forehead from him. This pregnancy has been an emotional rollercoaster. She feels everything even deeper and more intensive than before, has no idea what she’d do if he wasn’t there to rub her back.

“In thirty minutes.“ He answers, still keeps her close. She has now swung her arms around him and hugs him while resting her head against his chest. She seems exhausted. She’s truly stressed about this. He knows that. “What If Patrick finds out and gives us away.“ Joe laughs quietly. “Nobody at my parents house tonight cares less for your cake than Patrick.“ He reassures her and she nods, slowly lets go off him and looks at him. Joe just smiles at her terrified facial expression and places his hands on her cheeks. She looks so beautiful. Even more since the so called ‘pregnancy glow’ has taken over her. She looks fuller than usually. Fuller and healthier. Flourishing. A life is growing inside her. A love is growing inside her. Joe smiles and kisses her slowly. She’s quiet. Her eyes are closed. “Let’s go, baby.“ He then mumbles against her lips. “Do you have everything?“ “Mhmhm.“ She nods, fixes her bangs quickly. “Nutmeg.“ She suddenly says, looks at him with big eyes. Joe, who’s fixing his tie in the mirror of the hallway by now just looks at her confused, unable to follow her fast thinking processes. As so often, nowadays. “What?“ “I added extra nutmeg. Which is a lie, obviously.“ She says, walks towards him into the hallway. “Don’t mess it up. Nutmeg. Remember this when..“ “I will.“ He laughs. It’s unbelievable how serious this is for her. “What If I say cinnamon, accidentally. That would totally give us away.“ He says in a serious tone, obviously ironic. Taylor just sighs and hits him in the side while grabbing her coat. She can’t hide a smirk though. “Baby, I won’t mess it up.“ He laughs, grabs the key from the drawer. “We’re a team.“ He adds, raises his hand to high five her, but she doesn’t react. She’s too grumpy to participate, just fixes her hair in the mirror once more. “We’re team frosty crew. Which has a total new meaning since your cake accident, by the way.“ He laughs amused and even Taylor can’t hide a smirk. He’s right. “Alright, Team frosty crew has to leave now. I don’t wanna be late.“ She says, leaves the house with Joe within the next two minutes.

After the evening at his parents house has started off perfectly and Taylor has received tons of compliments for her outfit from his grandmother the moment of truth, which is the moment the cake was brought into the dining room has come. Surrounded by a Christmas tree and dozens of presents and family laughter, Joe can’t help but smirk mischievously while taking another sip from his wine glass. He can see from the corner of his eyes how Taylor takes a deep breath while sitting next to him, suddenly moves her left leg nervously under the table. Everyone starts to eat the lemon tart and Taylor receives tons of compliments. She remains noticeably quiet for her usual self, but no one seems to notice anything except for Joe.

“Taylor, that is a remarkable tart. I’m impressed.“ His grandmother suddenly says from the end of the table. Taylor just smiles at her. “Thank you so much.“ “Tell me, dear. Did you bake it yourself this morning?“ The old lady asks strictly in her Scottish accent, which makes it even more difficult for Taylor to properly understand her. “Oh, yes. Of course.“ Taylor says, Joe fighting a laugh as hard as he can. “But I have helped as well. Right, babe?“ Joe suddenly says and looks at Taylor. They share a mischievous look and she grins back at him. She wants to kill him. He can see that in her eyes.

“Yeah. Joseph is a great helper in the kitchen.“ Taylor says in a monotone voice, receives an ironic smirk from Patrick on the opposite of her who’s eating the pie amusedly. “He added the nutmeg.“ Taylor adds and smirks at Joe once more. “Wasn’t it cinnamon, love?“ Joe teases and looks back at her while chewing the cake. Taylor looks at him once more and shakes her head quietly, still slightly smirking at him. He thinks he’s so smart. “No, babe. It was nutmeg. I’m very sure.“ She says and the conversations on the table seems to change again. Maria asks Patrick about his majors in school and Tom tells his grandpa about his new Job in Dublin. Taylor and Joe still smirk at each other. They don’t really talk, just laugh quietly. Everyone in the room is focused on the conversations between Tom and his grandfather. This is one of these moments in which they’re back in their own little world. Laughing about something no one understands and no one will ever understand. Joe suddenly grabs her fork and fills it with some pie from her plate. He then leads the fork into her mouth, feeds her like a little child. She laughs softly, a bit embarrassed of his behavior in front of his grandparents but then opens her mouth. Elizabeth looks at these two lovebirds fool around and smiles quietly to herself before following the other conversations again. “What are you doing?“ Taylor whispers with a full mouth, still looks at him and tries to recover from her laughs. “Team frosty crew rocks. We did a great job with this cake, don’t you think.“ “Team frosty crew should definitely shut up now.“ She answers him quietly, still chewing the dessert. Joe looks back at her and smiles. She does the same, can’t help but stare into his face. His gorgeous, beautiful face. He looks so cheeky, the little dimples in his smile radiating happiness onto her as well.

Team frosty crew evidently rocks. Team frosty crew is just getting started.

“Okay, monkey. Time for bed. Please put the toys back into daddy’s box.“ Taylor says politely to her toddler, looks at Eleanor from where she sits. After Joe has ordered Chinese for the three of them, Eleanor was allowed to stay up a little longer than usually after not having seen her father for more than two months. The afternoon has still been awkward so far, after all. Taylor regrets that she agreed to stay. All she did was watch Joe and Eleanor interact. Joe kept on including her in their conversations but it seemed wrong. This was his time with Eleanor, not hers. He should be able to spend time with her all alone. She shouldn’t be here. Not at all.

“Can I have bedtime with Daddy today?“ Eleanor whines from the end of the living room and Taylor looks at Joe. “Going to bed is a difficult project at the moment, so If you want I can..“ “No. No I’ll bring her to bed.“ Joe immediately answer her and Taylor nods. It’s definitely his turn, If he wants. Taylor slowly gets up and grabs the empty plates, carries them into his kitchen. Joe in the meantime has stood up as well and walks towards his daughter. “You can leave everything on the table, I’ll..“ “No way. You’re on bedtime duties, I’m on kitchen duties.“ Taylor interrupts him and Joe doesn’t fight her. Instead, he walks up to the five year old curly head on the carpet in front of him and smiles. He missed this so much. Joe remains standing behind her, slowly crouches down to place his big hands on her curly hair. The little buns on her head are clearly missed up.

“Ready for one of daddy’s bedtime stories?“ He asks and Eleanor immediately jumps up, reaches for him. “Yes daddy!“ She squeaks excitedly. Joe gladly takes her onto his arm, is amazed every time how big his baby has become. Five years. Five years since this little angel has changed his life forever. He slowly walks back to the kitchen with Eleanor on his arm, who has wrapped both of her little arms around his head. “Say goodnight to your mum.“ Joe says to Eleanor, who just says soft “Goodnight mommy, I love you.“ Taylor immediately turns around and faces her daughter. Even Joe has to smile at the sweet words coming from their little angel. Taylor can’t help but smile at the little face, places the plates on the counter and walks up to Joe and her. Taylor smiles at the little girl, places both of her hands on these chubby little cheeks she loves so much. “Goodnight baby. I love you too.“ She smiles, kisses Eleanor’s nose a few times. Then she looks at Joe who just smiles back at her but remains silent in this moment. “Don’t drive daddy insane, monkey. Just one story, okay?“ Taylor says and Eleanor just sweetly leans her head to the side and grants her dad the sweetest smile possible. Taylor and Joe both laugh. “She’s got that from you.“ Joe says casually and then slowly walks out of the kitchen with Eleanor. She can’t help but smile while watching them disappear. He’s right. When she was always good at one thing then it’s wrapping him around her finger just by granting him a smile.

“Can you tell me the one with the Papa bear and the babies, daddy.“ she asks him politely in her baby voice, hugs his head while being carried upstairs from her Papa. Joe loves the fact that he’s not the only one who seems to crave cuddles. Joe turns his head, presses a big kiss onto her chubby cheek. “Alright. But first brushing your teeth, love.“ He says and pokes the little girl into the side. She laughs immediately. Taylor slowly rinses off the dishes, hearts the two disappear upstairs. It’s weird how habits have changed so quickly throughout the last year. Before their separation, Joe had always been the one to bring Eleanor to bed. Even when she was just a baby, Eleanor loved falling asleep on her dad’s chest. It’s because of his incredibly calm personality. He radiates calmness, always has. And that’s exactly what Eleanor needed to fall asleep. Nowadays, she has gotten used to going to bed with Taylor. It has been a battle at first. But after a while, the toddler adjusted. That’s what kids do. They simply adjust.

Taylor closes the dishwasher, asks herself if the situation tonight is weird for Eleanor. Does it bring back old memories of mommy and daddy together? Does she even have old memories of mommy and daddy together? If one thing has changed five years ago, then it’s the fact that everything Taylor does evolves around the well- being of her child. Everything. Even her decision to leave, back then. She wanted stability for Eleanor. Not a father who would break promises every night, who would travel the globe for his career but forgot to make enough time for his daughter. She could’ve stayed, she would’ve. She would’ve given him more time to find his way, would’ve fought endless fights with him to make him understand. But this is just what would’ve happened if there wasn’t a crying baby in her bed every night. This is not what Eleanor deserves. She deserves to experience faithfulness from a man, from her father. She deserves to experience unconditional trust from him. He’s the first emotional male interaction in her life and she didn’t want uncertainty to become the main emotion towards him. Taylor swallows. Just thinking about all the times he promised to come home and didn’t still break her heart over and over again. The little cries from Eleanor’s room. The tears that ran down her baby’s face because she asked for daddy a million times already. Because she wanted her daddy. She needed him. Even more than Taylor did.

After drying the glasses with the grey kitchen towel, Taylor places the glass in the cupboard and closes the door. She scratches the back of her head and looks outside of the window. She smiles. It’s still snowing and the immense amount of white snow that covers the street almost lights up the sky. It’s the night before Christmas Eve and she loves the fact that they will, in fact, have a white Christmas this year. Just when Taylor was about to go back to the living room, she hears footsteps coming from upstairs. She peaks into the hallway with a confused look. But instead of her, Joe just casually enters the living room again, places the little baby phone on the coffee table of his living room before turning on one of the floor lamps at the end of the room. “What are you doing?“ Taylor asks him confused and Joe just returns her look. “She’s asleep. She was out after two seconds.“ He answers casually. “No. I mean the baby phone.“ Taylor says and he just looks at her again, not understanding at all what she’s asking him, while walking past her and into the kitchen once more. “What’s with it?“ “Joe, she’s not a baby anymore. She doesn’t need a baby phone. If she wakes up she’ll come to us, trust me.“ Taylor says amused about the fact that he still acts like Eleanor’s a baby and unable to tell them If somethings’s wrong. “I know. But it just makes me feel better to..“ “To hear her snores while sitting down here?“ She teases, leans in the doorway to the kitchen and looks at him grabbing something from the cupboard. “I just want to hear if she has a nightmare or anything as long as I’m downstairs.“ He says and Taylor doesn’t reply anymore. Joe adores this little girl. He has missed her.

“Want some wine?“ Joe asks then, reaches for the bottle of white wine in his fridge and looks back at her. “Is this part of our team building?“ She smirks while still standing in the doorway, her arms still crossed. He doesn’t really answer at first, just smirks at her while automatically pouring wine into the glasses. She loves wine, he knows that. He has spent too many drunk nights with her in bed not to know how much she likes white wine. “Drinking wine has always been our way to.. bond.“ Joe murmurs, fills the two glasses with wine and then puts the bottle back into the fridge. “Or our way to make a baby.“ She casually says and Joe looks up to her. They both laugh quietly. “You’re right.“ He smirks, walks past her and casually falls onto his sofa. He then yawns loudly, runs his fingers through his hair. Taylor stands there, still more uncomfortable than ever. She still has no idea why she agreed to this. Why she let him convince her that this was a good idea. Spending the night with an Ex? Never a good idea. Especially not if you have a child and lots of unfinished business together.

“What are you standing there?“ Joe then laughs, signals her to sit down next to him. Taylor awkwardly walks up to him, sits down at the end of the sofa. He still laughs at her and Taylor rolls her eyes before nipping on her wine glass. She tugs her legs up a bit, casually leans against the cushion sideways and shakes her head at him. “Why are you laughing at me?“ “You act like I’m a total stranger that you have to have a conversation with.“ he mumbles before taking a sip himself, clearly still amused. She blushes a bit, shakes her head. “Considering the fact that the last real conversation we had is more than a year ago, you probably count as a stranger.“ Taylor says, just realizes how sad these words were that came out of her mouth. She swallows quietly, not able to look at him anymore. She doesn’t know if these words were inappropriate. She didn’t want to sound rude. “I tried to have many real conversations with you over the last year but you were the one who high key tried to avoid them.“ Joe says, not angry at all. He’s calm. He can even look at her.

Taylor sighs, then finds her courage to lookup at him. “I had my reasons.“ She just says. A little more reserved than she intended. “And these reasons were the fact that I was working a lot?“ He asks provocative and Taylor freezes. She looks at him, doesn’t react anymore. Does he call this ‘becoming a team again‘? Bringing up all these old things, all these old emotions that make her angry all over? If that’s his idea of becoming friends again, then she feels sorry for him. “Do you really wanna go there again, Joe?“ Taylor asks more tense than before, ready to play this game, ready to fight him If she has to. But Joe then looks at her again and his angry facial expression has changed. She knows this look. She has seen this look back then, last winter, when she dropped Eleanor off at his place for the first time after moving out. When he stood there in his door, dark circles under his eyes, hugging his daughter as if he was holding onto his life. This look is a look of surrendered anger. Sadness. Deep sadness.

“I don’t.“ He simply answers, making Taylor swallow once more. She’s angry. She’s so done. She’s so done being the bad cop. Him making her feel responsible for all this. For the reason they aren’t a family anymore.

“I should go to bed.“ She mumbles, places her glass on the coffee table in front of her. “Can I ask you a question?“ He suddenly says and Taylor sighs. She just wants to leave. She just wants to go home, to her own house. Far away from him and this living room. This room full of memories and all these questions he has.

“What?“ She says, almost angry at him for even asking. “Did you lie to me?“

“When?“

“When you said that.. that you left because I was gone too much. Or was it because you just didn’t love..“

“How dare you even say this.“ She suddenly interrupts and Joe looks at her immediately with shock on his face. He never thought that this question would suddenly make her so angry. She looks devastated. Broken. He immediately starts to stutter, doesn’t know what to say to ease the situation but feels all these emotions coming back up again. He’s so angry. He’s so angry at her for having this power over him. For making him feel all these things, after all these years.

“You left me a message. A bloody message, Taylor. You didn’t..you didn’t even want to talk about this. I barely saw you when you dropped Eleanor off at my place for the first time after weeks. I didn’t even have the chance to explain. You just left with my daughter within a few minutes. I came home and you were gone. Both of you. My family. Do you know how that feels? It feels like losing everything. I didn’t have a fucking reason to want to live anymore for months and months. So excuse me, but I do think I have the right to ask..“

“Goodnight, Joe. Thanks for the nice evening. I’m going home.“ Taylor mumbles ironically, immediately gets up and walks into his kitchen. She feels her heart bursting. There’s no way she can be in one house, let alone one room with him anymore. She feels like she can’t breath anymore. She feels like he’s taking her air. With all these words that just came out of his mouth.

“There’s no way you’ll get a taxi that late at night.“ He suddenly answers, feels another emotion creep up. He’s scared. Scared to see her leave this house again. Scared to loose her once more, even though he didn’t even really have her tonight. Not really. Not enough to tell her everything.

“I have security.“

“Good luck having them drive up that hill with these snow masses.“ He murmurs, hates to express these feelings with anger bit can’t help it. He seems to follow her around the spacious kitchen. She pours out her wine glass in the sink, then walks back to the living room to grab her cardigan. She looks angry, just like a volcano. Ready to explode.

“I’d rather walk home and die from all this snow than be stuck in this fucking house with you.“ She suddenly turns around, hisses at him. Joe doesn’t reply, looks just as angry. He knows what’s happening. He’s been waiting for what’s happening. It’s the first time they actually talk. It’s the first time two people are confronted with each other since they set a bomb and watched their world explode, fall to pieces. It’s the first eye contact after the storm. After their world has come to an end a year ago.

“I know. You left me a message on the speaker about that last year.“ He says with a sassy undertone, just as offensive as her. She just shakes her head, looks more angry than he thought was possible. She quietly puts on her cardigan, then pauses for a second and looks into his face.

“Fuck you. I really thought you were honest about wanting to work things out tonight. I trusted you.“ She yells, tries not to be too loud to wake her daughter. Joe just looks at her, unable to believe she just said this. He feels all he felt back then slowly come up again. All the anger, all the sadness, all these memories in his head that seemed to haunt him to death.

“Oh you trusted me? Great. Cause I loved you. I fucking loved you. How does that feel, huh.“ He yells but Taylor looks into his angry face, then immediately turns around and walks away.

“Eleanor’s Christmas play begins at 4pm and she has to be there at 3pm. Don’t be late, her teacher will flip.“ She then says in a totally different voice. She seems cold. She has shut down again, has become as unattainable as she has been for the last year. Joe just watches her walk down his hallway, reach for her coat. Her phone is on her ear already as she puts on her boots. He sighs, looks at her walking away. He knows that it wasn’t the smartest choice to say all these things tonight when all he truly wanted was to become a team once more. But he couldn’t help it. He couldn’t keep these things inside. The hurt was too big to play this superficial single parent game with her today. He’s not ready to be a single dad. He was never ready to be a single dad. He didn’t sign up to become a single dad. He signed up for raising Eleanor with the love of his life. Not without her.

“What are you doing?“ He murmurs, rubs his eyes. Watching her leave again breaks him even more. He feels exhausted from all these feelings that just boiled up. He feels exhausted from fighting from hating her. Joe slowly walks up to her, but she’s faster. “I’m leaving. Bye.“ She hisses, immediately opens the door and walks outside. The second she steps outside is the second she realizes that this, in fact, was a bad idea. A very bad idea. It’s not just the immense amount of snow that is coming down from the sky. It’s the intense wind, that is making it almost hurtful to feel the snow lashing against her skin. Taylor squeezes her eyes, unable to fully open them as she walks down the steps from his house. She holds her phone closely to her ear, prays for Brandon to pick up. How can the phone lines be that damaged? The national news have predicted that this might be the biggest storm in the modern history of England, but she never thought it would be so bad. It was a mistake to let Eleanor convince her to walk to Joe’s house. She should’ve taken security. She was so stupid.

Just when Taylor is about to fight her way through the iced front yard, she suddenly realizes how slippery the floor really is. Even before she can catch herself, she looses her balance, fights to stay upright, but falls. Within a few seconds, her phone is in the air and Taylor slips, stumbled and falls onto the ground. She feels her back hit the iced floor, feels the hard collision in her bones. She feels like crying. Her back hurts. Her butt hurts. When will this streak of bad luck finally end? Taylor slowly sits up, realizes that she has ice cold snow all inside her clothes. She’s cold. Her phone is gone. She feels tears rolling down her cold and wet cheeks while sitting in the snow, right during this crazy storm. She can’t help but slowly let a first sob escape her mouth. She’s not sure wether it’s her fall or his words. His words that sing on her heart like a knife. She feels so much pain, is not able to get up again. She learnt to get up whenever she fell. But this time, the cold hard ground is too heavy on her.

“Oh my god, are you okay?“ She suddenly hears the same familiar voice behind her that was haunting her in her tears before. Taylor doesn’t move, still sits on her butt in the cold snow and cries her eyes out. The white snow masses on the ground reflect onto the sky, almost light up this dark night. Taylor sinks her head once more, hears fast footsteps in the snow behind her, then feels two hands on her shoulders. “I found your phone. I saw you slipping from my..“ Joe then stops, catches his breath as he realizes that she’s sobbing. Hot tears are running down her face and she immediately pushes his hands away, tries to get up. It’s hurtful to move but it’s even more hurtful to feel him standing behind her, wanting to help her get on her feet again. She can get up alone. She has enough strength to walk home alone. She doesn’t need him. She just doesn’t. Taylor closes her eyes in pain, then gets up. Joe grabs her arm immediately.

“It’s way too dangerous to walk home right now. Please come inside, that looked really bad. Are you in pain?“ He asks, feels incredibly bad that their fight before may have been the reason why she’s hurt now. But Taylor just doesn’t turn around, tries to free herself from his grip while fighting the lashing snow blowing into her wet face. She grabs her phone from his hand, then tries to shake off his big hand that is holding her left arm tightly. “Let go off me.“ She yells while sobbing hysterically, doesn’t want to face him. Joe doesn’t let go off her. There’s no way he’ll let her go home now. There’s no way he’ll let the mother of his child walk home all alone at night during a snow storm after hurting herself already due to the crazy weather conditions. “I won’t.“ He yells back, looks how desperately she tries to free herself. The entire situation must look almost comedic to strangers. Him holding onto her arm and her yelling, trying to free herself while being covered in Snow. “Let go.“ She yells again, then looks at him. He sees her crying face and swallows. He has never seen her more hurt than this. Joe immediately stops thinking, pulls her into a tight hug. She’s still fighting him, begging him to let go. But he’s stronger than her, just places his hand on her head, the other one around her figure. Then, slowly, she gives up. Let’s him hold her. Let’s him hold her in the craziest snow storm that she has ever been in. She cries hysterically into his jacket. Maybe because it all has gotten too much for her. Maybe because he smells like he always did. She can’t stand the pain anymore, in this moment. She’s not strong enough to stand it anymore, right now.

“I’m so sorry.“ He suddenly mumbles into her ear, while holding her. She cries into his shoulder, holds onto him desperately while he feels her limb body in his arms. She knows that he’s not talking about the snowstorm or her fall. “I’m just so sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m so so sorry.“ She can hear him say, his voice changed as well. It’s not because of the snow, she knows that. “I broke so many promises, I.. I don’t know why. I always loved you. I always did, please.. please believe me. Don’t go. Please don’t go right now, I.. I need you to not go tonight.“ He mumbles into her almost wet hair, is clearly crying now as well. The amount of snow that’s coming down makes it almost impossible to not have a white layer of snow covering all of their clothes. Yet they’re just standing there hugging. But it’s not the gentle kind of hug, they often used to share. It’s not the loving hug they were both used to. It’s not a way to keep each other warm, anymore. It’s a desperate hug. A desperate way to hold on to each other. Desperate not to fall. Again. Taylor doesn’t reply in any way, just keeps on being more and more weak the second he talks. He holds her close, realizes that she’s freezing, her entire body is shaking. Even more than he is. Joe immediately pulls back, looks into her face. Her cheeks are bright red, her eyes even more so. She looks destroyed and pale. She looks more hurt than he thought he’d ever see her. But she looks at him. She looks at him for the first time. For the first time since then. This is her, opening up.

Look what you’ve done to me.

This is her showing him that she’s still there. That she didn’t forget. She can’t forget. Joe can’t help but place his lips on her bangs, kisses her forehead slowly. She doesn’t stop him, keeps on sobbing. He closes his eyes, breathes her in deeply. Just like then.

Six years, five days and three hours earlier.

“I don’t think we can do this“ Taylor cries, her eyes red and swollen. She sits on her bed, one leg under her butt, the other one hanging down. Her cold and wet hands are placed on her lap. The room is fully lit, even though it’s 2 am. Joe just sits down next to her, hands her the glass of water.

“Take a sip please.“ “Everything will change. All we have will be gone. Do you..“ “Taylor, take a sip.“ He repeats, this time a bit more strict. She hiccups a few times, then grabs the class with her cold and shaky hands. Joe remains right next to her, places his hand on her naked shoulder, strokes her hair gently with his thumb. She’s absolutely terrified and panicked, will surely collapse if she won’t hydrate soon. She has cried since hours. Ever since she went into that bathroom. Joe looks at her, watches her gulp down the glass of water. He knew how thirsty she must’ve been. In between crying and fighting with him, there hasn’t even been a few seconds to drink something. As soon as she’s done, Joe gladly takes the class from her, places it on the nightstand next to her. Taylor breathes heavily, exhausted. She doesn’t move. Joe looks at her, grabs her shaky hand. “That’s good. Breath.“ He whispers, looks at her with a sunken head just breathing. She’s surrendering. She has cried too much. There’s no strength anymore. “I can’t kill it.“ She then mumbles, still not really looking at him. Joe can’t help but smile, immediately places his hand on her cheek to make her look at him. Her eyes are puffy and she has red spots on her face. She always does after crying.

“I don’t want you to kill it.“

“I want it but not now. This was never planned. I wanted to get married first and..“

“We can get married afterwards.“

“You act like this is all fun.“ She suddenly says, a bit more angry than before. She looks up at him, his hand still in her neck. She looks just as scared as before, her red eyes full with tears.

“It is.“

“It’s not.“

“Taylor.“ He then rants, looks into her eyes, “This is our baby.“ he mumbles, a huge smile spread across his face. He immediately places his hand on her stomach, kisses her cheek. “We didn’t plan this, but we always wanted this. I know you feel overwhelmed and you don’t know if you’re ready for this. But you will be. And just know that I am.“ He smiles and looks into her eyes, “I am so, so.. ready. I want all of this. I want all of you. I want the pregnancy, I want the sleepless nights, I want to raise this little angel. I want her or him to look like you, I want the parent teacher conferences, I want the tantrums. I want to do this with you. I love you. You’re my best mate. I want this.. with you.“ He says, got way more quiet at the end of his little speech. Taylor still looks at him, her chin slowly trembling again. He still smiles. She’s so beautiful. She’s a mess but she’s the mess he always wanted. The mess he will always want. He feels her cold and sweaty hand on his cheek. And then he kisses her. He kisses her, feels her hot tears on his lips. He can taste the saltiness. He can taste her fears. Her love.

“I love you too.“ She then cries against his lips. "I’m sorry I’m such a mess. I just.. this is just… it’s a lot and..“

“It’s fine. It’s all fine. We’ll always be fine. It will always be us, Tay. You and me. We went through so much. There’s nothing we couldn’t do. Trust me, baby.“ He mumbles, pulls her into a tight hug. She’s still wearing nothing but her nightgown, has goosebumps all over her soft skin. He feels her soft sobs in his shoulder, kisses the little spot over her left ear a couple times. He then slowly lets go, wipes her tears away and smiles at her puffy face. She still looks scared but happy at the same time. He knew that it was his turn to calm her. She needed to be reassured that she’s not in this alone. That this wasn’t planned but is still something they both always wanted to happen someday. Joe can’t help but place his lips on her bangs, kisses her forehead slowly. She doesn’t stop him, keeps on sobbing. He closes his eyes, breathes her in deeply.

Taylor opens her eyes, then closes them again immediately. She still feels her aching back, feels her eyes that are still swollen and puffy from last night. There’s relief though. Deep relief. She groans tiredly, then opens her eyes again. She looks around confused, realizes just now that she’s in the guest room of his house. It seems to be late already. After all it’s not even dark outside anymore. Taylor scratches her head, then looks around. She hears noises from downstairs, slowly slides the blanket from her legs. She wears some old sweats and a hoodie from him. She doesn’t know these clothes, which implies that they’re new. Taylor remains sitting on the edge of the bed, reaches for her back once more. She’s making a face, then yawns. How could she be so stupid to just run out of this house late at night and think that she could just walk home alone. She’s still emotional over his rant. But it was good to finally get it out. It was good to be honest to each other for once, even if that means that she has a hematoma on her back now. The talk afterwards was important. Nothing is fixed. But they opened up to each other again.

Taylor slowly walks outside of the room, then makes her way downstairs. As soon she gets closer to his kitchen, she can hear Joe’s and Eleanor’s voices coming from the kitchen. There’s her childrens Christmas music coming from the living room and the smell of cinnamon and chocolate makes her smiles slightly. “Now stir it. Yup. Like that.“ “But Daddy, what’s this?“ “Just stir it a little more, angel. Look, let me help.“ Taylor yawns once more, remains in the doorway. Eleanor stands on a chair in front of the kitchen counter. Joe right behind her, guiding her hand with the whisk while stirring the dough. Eleanor then seems to notice her, turns around and is clearly distracted by her momma. “Mummy’s awake.“ She determines and frees herself immediately from the chair and Joe’s grip. Joe just turns around while stirring the rest of the dough, smiles at Taylor. “Great timing as always. Pancakes are coming right up.“ He says busy, as Eleanor already runs into Taylor’s arms.

“Good morning baby.“ Taylor smiles at her daughter, picked her up and holds her on her arm. It’s moments like these when she can’t believe how big her baby has become. She’s not even a baby anymore. Not at all.

“Good morning, mommy.“ The blonde curly head replies and Taylor presses a kiss onto her lips. “How did you sleep?“ “Good.“ “Did you have a nice dream?“ She asks, smiles at Eleanor. This has always been their little morning ritual. Eleanor loves to tell her mom about her dreams and Taylor loves hearing her talk, loves to spark her fantasy when it comes to telling her about a dream she had.

“Mhmhm.“ The little girl shakes her head, but Joe suddenly answers from the stove. “What about the the little baby bear that you told me about last night?“ Taylor immediately laughs, presses another kiss onto her daughter’s cheeks and sits down on the kitchen table next to where Joe is preparing breakfast. Her dreams always include cute pets. She has noticed that pattern. “Did you keep Daddy up last night?“ She asks, Eleanor just shakes her head, playing with her mommy’s long hair. “She came to me at.. about 4 am. We talked about the teddy dream and then went right back to bed.“ He answers, is filling the empty plate next to his pan with fresh pancakes by now. “Did you cuddle with Daddy?“ She asks and Eleanor nods smiling. Taylor kisses her cheek once more. She’s glad Eleanor got some snuggles from her Dad last night. She definitely missed that. Eleanor quickly frees herself from Taylor’s lap and runs up to her dad again. Unfortunately, she’s still too little to see how her Dad is flipping the pancakes. Joe laughs at how desperately she tries to climb onto the chair again, still in her Pjs. He then grabs the little girl with one arm and holds the big baby on his hip while continuing the flipping with just one hand. “One.. two.. three.“ He says, flips the pancake, let’s the pastry fly for a few seconds and then catches it with the pan again. Eleanor squeaks, immediately claps her hands. Taylor laughs, claps for him as well. Joe turn around and laughs at these two girls before preparing the next pancake. Taylor looks at Eleanor. The way she looks at him is something that still gives her goosebumps.

She looks at him as if he’s the king of the world.

He is the king of Eleanor’s world.

“Again, Daddy.“ She says and squeaks one time which makes Joe laugh. “Okay we have one more left.“ He says, handling the pan and then flipping the pancake once more. This time he almost misses to catch it again, struggles to keep half of the pancake inside of the pan. Flipping pancakes with just one hand is more difficult than he thought. Eleanor laughs out loud, screams excitedly and then throws her head back laughing while holding onto his shoulders. Joe grouches desperately, then saves the pancake in the last second. His daughter is still laughing about her desperate Dad, lets her head fall against his shoulder while laughing out loud. Joe smiles at her, sinks his head to kiss hers while smiling at her. There’s no sweeter sound than his baby girl’s laughs in the morning. “Daddy..“ She laughs and Joe turns around with Eleanor on his arm, places the plate of hot pancakes on the kitchen table next to Taylor. She still looks tired but she smiles at how much fun these two are having. She looks how Joe places Eleanor on her chair, immediately fills her plate with a pancake. Taylor helps Eleanor put some bananas on her plate, then looks at Joe again and grants him a soft smile.

“Looks good.“

“Doesn’t just look good, also tastes good.“ He says confident, smirks at her as mischievously as he always did. She replies an ironic smile and shakes her head. If he was always good at one thing in the kitchen then it was his ability to make pancakes.

“How did you sleep? How’s your back?“ He asks and Taylor seems a little uncomfortable, busy eating her pancake. “It’s fine. Advil helped.“ She answers, doesn’t really want to talk about her little break down in the snow last night. Instead she focuses on the girl next to her, runs her fingers through the curly mess on her head. “Are you excited for your play tonight?“ She asks, knows how much Eleanor has been looking forward to her first Christmas play at pre school tonight. It’s actually a big thing. The little girl was chosen for the main role, that is little Rudolph, and Taylor’s heart has never been prouder. Joe promised to join as well after he has missed several choir performances and cake sales in the last year. This is his daughter’s big night and Eleanor has shed too many tears in the last years when her daddy wasn’t there to come along. If he dares to miss this one again, she’ll kill him. Literally. “Yes, mommy.“ She answers, her mouth full of the delicious pancakes that her dad made. At home, Eleanor isn’t that crazy about her pancakes. And even though Taylor uses the exact same recipe as Joe does, the pancakes of course taste better at daddy’s house. Taylor has sussed that out already.

“Daddy are you coming with mommy?“ Eleanor asks Joe, who immediately nods. “Of course. Do you think I’ll miss my angel on stage tonight? No way.“ He says euphorically and Eleanor’s eyes sparkle. Taylor looks at him with that one specific look he knows too well.

You better won’t break this promise or we’ll have a problem.

“Mommy are you coming with daddy?“ “Of course, I’ll be there as well.“ “No, are you and daddy coming together?“ She asks once more, leaves Taylor confused. “Honey, why do you want us so badly to arrive together?“ Taylor laughs, still not sure where Eleanor is going with this. But to Taylor’s surprise, Eleanor suddenly becomes quiet, just slowly eats her pancakes with a pout. Taylor immediately feels that something is off, shares a look with Joe who just shrugs his shoulders. “Honey? What’s wrong?“ Taylor asks, her hand on her daughter’s neck, playing with the tiny blonde curls.

“Emily said that.. that I’m a liarer.“ She mumbles, pouts like a baby all of the sudden. Joe has also put down his cutlery by now, looks at Taylor for help. “Why did Emily say that you’re a liar?“ Taylor asks, and Eleanor still doesn’t reply. Instead she immediately rushes down her chair and crawls onto Taylor’s lap, presses her little face into Taylor’s chest. Taylor naturally hugs her baby tightly, feels soft cries underneath her arms. Joe looks at Taylor in shock. “Tell me what’s wrong, baby. Come on. Mommy wants to know why Emily said that?“ Taylor murmurs, sinks her head to kiss Eleanor’s head. Eleanor then slowly sits up again. Her little face is red and a few tears are still running down her tiny face. Joe feels as if his heart is going to stop. The thing he hates the most in this world is seeing Eleanor cry. It’s one of the worst feelings in the world.

“Eleanor. Give me your hand, angel.“ He says worried, reaches for her tiny hand over the table. She quickly places her tiny hand in her Papa’s while still looking more than whiny. Taylor wipes her tears away, kisses her temple while rocking her slowly. She’s still in her little cat pajamas and naked feet are hanging loosely down from where she’s sitting. She looks like Taylor whenever she’s crying. Joe swallows, gently caresses her tiny hand that he’s holding on the table. “Why did Emily call you a liar?“ He asks now as well and Eleanor looks at him with raised eyebrows and desperation written all over her chubby little face.

“Because.. she said that I lie because I don’t have a daddy and..“ Eleanor doesn’t even have to finish. The entire mood has suddenly changed. Dead silence between them. Taylor swallows, slowly looks up at Joe. He looks broken. He has never felt more pain than in the moment these words escaped his baby’s mouth. She can see that. He immediately gets up, crouches down in front of Taylor and Eleanor and grabs both of Eleanor’s small hands. “Your daddy loves you so much, Eleanor. And tonight when I come to watch your play, Emily will see that she was the one who was lying. Because you know that you have a daddy, right?“ He says, looks into her eyes. She nods. She doesn’t seem to be happy yet. Joe looks desperately at Taylor. She doesn’t know what to say, just sees in Joe’s eyes in how much pain he really is while still holding her baby. She’d love to help him, but she doesn’t know how.

“Do you love mommy? Daddies love mommies and..“

“Honey, who told you that all these rules about what mommies and daddies have to do?“ Taylor immediately steps in, is sick and tired of these conservative values that the parents of this private school are giving their children.

“Do you love mommy?“ Eleanor asks and looks at Joe who still crouches in front of the chair. Taylor suddenly feels her throat growing more and more tight. She didn’t want to go there, but apparently Eleanor really wants to know. Joe hesitates first, then swallows before nodding. “Of course I do. I love mummy so much, you have no idea. Your mummy is my favorite person in the whole world. And so are you, my love. Don’t let these girls tell you lies. From now on, I’ll always be at any school event to prove these mean girls wrong, huh? Does that sound good? If you want I can say hello to Emily tonight.“ He says and Eleanor seems to finally look happy. She smiles and nods, then slowly crawls down from Taylor’s lap and into Joe’s arms. He hugs her tightly while crouching in front of Taylor’s chair, closes his eyes while holding the little body as tight as possible. He’s crying. Taylor knows that. He presses his eyes together, as tightly as possible. She swallows. His words have touched her. This is the first time she feels like crying as well. Where on earth did they they go wrong? How could it ever come to this?

“Daddy loves you so much. Don’t ever let anyone tell you that you don’t have a daddy because none of these kids have a daddy who loves them as much as I love you. Okay?“ He mumbles into her ear and she nods. “I love you too, daddy.“ She mumbles and Taylor swallows, takes a deep breath not to cry as well. Joe then kisses the girl’s head a few times. Eleanor seems to be easier to ease than they thought. She climbs onto her chair again, seems as happy as before. How easy it is to make a child happy. How wonderful this life would be if it would work like this for adults as well. Taylor looks at Joe but he doesn’t return her stare, just sits back down again, stirring the spoon in his tea. “Mommy, can I get up and play?“ She asks politely and Taylor nods, clearly none of them in the mood to be strict today anymore. Eleanor walks up, runs into the living room and starts to play with her dolls again. Taylor looks at Joe who just quietly gets up. He seems to have lost his appetite. She can’t blame him.

Taylor watches him start to clean everything up and gets up as well. He’s tense. She feels that. She knows him too well. He wants to cry. He is about to cry. She slowly places her hand on his shoulder while watching him rinse off the plates. He doesn’t react. After all, he’s not a bad father. He shouldn’t feel like a bad father. Ever. “These things come from all these over- privileged kids with their old parents who are all lawyers or doctors. Don’t..“ “She’s right. A dad attends school events. A dad is sitting in the front row. I’m not..“ “Don’t do this to yourself“ She immediately interrupts, doesn’t want him to go there. He has made mistakes, yes. But he has made so many things right as well. Eleanor adores him. She loves him to death. All of that is because he did so many other things right. Even when he was away.

“She loves you.“ Taylor says, her hand still on his shoulder, caressing him. She can’t stand to see him like this. It’s true that he hasn’t been a great partner to her at the end of their relationship. But he’s not a bad father. Not at all. “Yeah, because I make pancakes and pay for things.“ He replies quietly with that sarcasm in his voice that makes Taylor sigh. It makes her angry to hear him say things like that. Cause it’s not true. Not at all.

“Joseph!“

“It’s true though, isn’t it?“ He asks, trust around to face her. She lets go off his shoulder and looks at him, feels a lump in her throat. He has tears in his eyes. It’s been a long time since she has seen him this emotional. She slowly turns around to make sure Eleanor is not listening to any of this. But the little girl seems to be in her own world again, slowly sums the words to her favorite Christmas song while playing on the floor. “It’s not. Not at all. She loves you because you make her laugh, because you’re so kind to her. Because you love her unconditionally. You brought her to sleep when she was just a baby and she has her earliest memories with you. Don’t let these five year old brats let you..“ “I should’ve been there.“ He interrupts, turns around to continue rinsing the dishes.

She doesn’t fight him this time. Yes. He should’ve been there.

“You can be there from now on.“ Taylor says, not sure why it’s so important to her to let him know that he’s not a bad father after all. “You can become the helicopter Dad, If you want. You can change this from now on. You can fix this. You can fix all of this from now on.“ She says, reminding him of the Taylor he once fell in love with. The most positive person he has ever met. The little sunshine on a dark and rainy day. Her soft voice that was able to soothe all the chaos in his head. Joe slowly turns around. He still looks as emotional as before. But this time he looks right into her eyes. And it hits her deeper than she thought cause she can feel what he feels, once again. Just like it was back then. “I can’t fix it all, can I?“ He murmurs and she realizes that they’re not just talking about Eleanor anymore. This is about them.

Taylor remains silent, doesn’t stop looking into his eyes. She can still read these promises in his eyes. She can still read all these dreams that never came true. He’s still Joe and he will forever be Joe.

“You will never know how much I wish you would. I wish you would fix this. All of this. Us.“ She replies with a shaky voice, feels how her knees are growing weak. She swallows her tears once more, looks at Joe who seems rattled up all of the sudden. He looks breathless, waits eagerly for her to continue. “But you can’t. And you know that.“ Joe looks surprised, but sad and frustrated at the same time. He changes his standing position, crosses his arms slowly. This is not how he expected her little speech to end.

“I can. Why do you think I can’t fix it?“ He asks and she sighs. Do they really have to go there again? “Because you love your job. And having a child means that..“ “You never gave me a second chance. Why? Why don’t I deserve a second chance? I became this fucking young asshole Hollywood actor who didn’t understand that family and job are hard to combine. I know that now. You were always more mature when it comes to that. But I have learned my lesson. Ever since you walked out that door, I have learned my lesson. I have learned what it means to loose your family. I know now that my job’s great but my family is better. Why can’t you forgive me? I just want a second..“

“Giving out chances means nothing else but bringing uncertainty in her life. This is not just about us anymore. This is about Eleanor’s life. Her emotional life. If I tell her that Daddy will be there from now on and then after a few months you decide that your movies are more important again, how do you think she’ll deal with it? I’m done hearing her cries when you decide to come home later. I’m done missing you.“ She said, suddenly realizes what just slipped out of her mouth. “I mean, I’m done watching her miss you. We can’t have any more uncertainty in our life. And that’s why I didn’t give you a chance when you..“

“I’m her father. How can you not give me a second chance?“ He suddenly asks and Taylor freezes. She looks into his eyes and suddenly doesn’t know what to say. He just leans against the counter once more, his arms crossed, his hair still messy from bed. She looks into his ocean blue eyes while standing in front of him, then sinks her head and lets out a slow breath. He has nerves to just say this.

“Do you think there’s anyone out there who’ll ever love you two more than I do? You’re my life. You two are my life. You as much as her. I would swim from England to America If I’d have to for you two. I.. I made mistakes. I hate myself for it. But that will never stop me from loving you. And I’m glad that there was a crazy snowstorm last night so I could finally imprison you in this house because this is the first time in months that you’re not running away from me. I haven’t.. I haven’t touched you in over a year. I haven’t kissed you in over a year. I miss waking up next to you. I miss us three. I miss my best friend. I just..“ Joe sighs, ends his little speech and looks at her. He never thought he’d finally be able to say this and he’s well aware that his timing seems off. The dishes behind him are waiting to be rinsed off and his daughter is on the other end of this flat, playing happily with her toys. The timing seems off but it has never felt more right to say these words. He looks at Taylor and she stares out of the window behind him. “You act like all of this is so easy on me. I miss my best friend, too. But I love her and I won’t.. I won’t cause this huge change in her life just because you say all these things. I want you to act, not talk. And unless you do, none our feelings are relevant here. She’s a child. She’s dependent on us and I won’t.. I won’t risk her getting hurt.“ Joe can’t reply to that anymore. He just looks at Taylor who has had watery eyes. But she seemed to have caught herself again, slowly swallows the emotionality down. She looks back at him now and all he sees is her broken heart. The heart of the love of his life that he broke with his own hands. Joe looks down slowly, then looks back up again.

“I still believe in us. I never stopped believing in us. I still think that you and me are..“

“You got what I said. I should get going.“ She interrupts, this time eager to follow her plans. Joe swallows. He feels rejected. In a hurtful way. But he understands her. If this is her decision, he has to understand her. “Don’t you want to drive together, later? I think it would be nice for Eleanor to..“ “Yeah, I’ll be back at 2pm. I’ll help you two get ready.“ She answers monotone, doesn’t look at him anymore. “Thanks for the breakfast.“ She adds, then turns around and stumbles upstairs to change.

Seven years, five days and three hours earlier.

“Put that damn thing away, woman.“ Joe mumbles, reaches for the polaroid camera in her hand. But she’s faster, quickly stretches out her hands while sitting on him, still wearing nothing but his while T- shirt. Underwear is overrated. Especially when they have touched each others most intimate parts anyway everywhere already. She starts to squeak as she realizes that he’s stronger than her, gives up as soon as Joe has towered her and lets go off the camera. He laughs at her, places the camera on her nightstand before pulling her back to bed with him. She laughs out loud, feels his strong arms grabbing her from behind. He bombards her with kisses on the cheek. She laughs, tries to fight him but gives up. “I just wanted one cute photo. Just one cute photo of my boyfriend.“ She protests, but Joe just keeps on working on her temple. “We’re having sex. Can we agree on a no-cute-photo policy during sex, please.“ He whispers and Taylor laughs, closes her eyes. She loves the way he’s working on her ear now, enjoys every second of his touch. His big hand is slowly making it’s way under her shirt, his fingertips brushing her left nipple, giving her goosebumps once more. “We’re not having sex. You just took a two hours nap, grandpa.“ she counters and Joe laughs, breathes out some hot hair. She can feel that tickling on her ear, his gentle hands that are still discovering all these hidden body parts. “You brought me to my limits. And we’re too late for my mum’s dinner already.“ Taylor smiles at him, loves the reason why both of them will be late. She turns around, simply looks at him. He smiles cheekily at her and she remains like this, looking into his eyes and granting him the biggest smile. She needs no words. Joe slowly gets closer, lets their lips touch each other for a split second before kissing her once more as If it’s the most natural thing in the world. “This is so weird.“ She laughs then slowly into the kiss, her head on the pillow, him over her. She loves his weight on her. She loves the fact that their noses are still touching.

“What?“ He whispers against her lips once more, slowly buries his hands in her hair.

“We’re just.. everything.“ She whispers, is so close to him that there clearly is no necessity for them to speak up in any way. “And what’s that?“ He smiles, steals her full lips one more kiss.

“Best friends. Lovers. You give me orgasms.“ Joe can’t help but laugh quietly. He buries his face in her neck, slowly suckles on her warm skin.

“I love giving you orgasms.“ Taylor smirks while placing her hand in his hair. She looks at the ceiling, feels his soft lips kissing her skin.

“I love that you love giving me orgasms.“ She replies. He slowly lets go off her, then crawls back to press his nose against hers.

“I love you.“ He answers and Taylor looks into his eyes. She can’t help but touch his face once more, explores every inch of his skin with her fingertips. “Forever, baby.“ She smiles, kisses him slowly. Joe deepens the kiss, presses his body even more onto hers. He hears her soft moans while growing closer and closer. Her legs that slowly open up and the way she pulls him in…

“Mommy, can I wear the same lip color as you?“ Eleanor asks for the fifth time since Taylor has entered the house. She stands in front of Joe’s bathroom mirror, fixing her hair while waiting for him to get ready. She turns around and faces her daughter. The little girl is nervous, she can sense that.

“Honey, you will play Rudolph the reindeer. You can’t wear red lipstick. All your friends’ lawyer moms will think I’m an awful mother for allowing you to wear lipstick at only five years old.“ Taylor laughs at her pouting daughter. Sometimes when they have a girl’s night at home, Eleanor is allowed to play with her make up. Put not tonight. And especially not with all these conservative private school parents in the room who already talk about superstar mom Taylor Swift and her child anyway.

“Please mommy.“ She pouts and Taylor was about to answer as Joe suddenly enters the bathroom. “Where does that pout come from..“ He jokes, looks around and pretends to look for Eleanor. The little girl immediately starts to laugh, jumps up and down to make him notice her. Joe then suddenly notices her and smiles at Eleanor while struggling with his tie. Taylor smirks at him. He looks handsome, she won’t deny that. Joe in a tie will always be nice to look at. “I want to wear the lip color like mommy. She looks so pretty.“ Eleanor pouts at her dad again, crosses her arms dramatically while pulling on the skirt of Taylor’s dress. “It’s called lipstick, baby. You look just as pretty without lipstick though.“ Taylor says, as Joe crouches down to be on one level with Eleanor. She still is throwing a tantrum, but Joe immediately places his big hands around her small figure, looks into her face. “Love, you know why I always hated when mommy wore lipstick?“ He asks and Eleanor looks at him confused, doesn’t understand how anyone could not like her momma’s colorful lips as much as she does. She shakes her little head and Joe still holds onto her. “Because whenever she wore lipstick, daddy couldn’t kiss her because then daddy’s lips would be red, too. So what am I going to do If you wear lipstick now as well? Then I won’t get any kisses here anymore.“ He says dramatically, makes Eleanor laugh out loud. Joe makes a grimace and then forms his lips to give her a kiss. Eleanor immediately leans in and gives him a kiss on the lips. He smiles at her, signals her that he needs one more and then gets up. Taylor quietly observes how Eleanor slowly walks off, grabs the rest of the Barbie’s she has placed in front of the bathroom while playing. It amazes her any time how much Joe can calm her with his words. How he can simply make her laugh, in any given situation. Thinking that he’s a bad father is so wrong. A bad father doesn’t give his baby girls kisses like these. These two have a bond she’ll always admire.

Taylor, who still leans against the counter looks at him. Joe notices her stare, looks back at her once more. She wears a dark blue dress, her hair in a bun. She wears high heels and he knows that she’s already the fittest mum in the entire room of parents tonight. She always was.

“You look hot, mommy.“ He answers and Taylor just looks at him with an outraged look, immediately hits him into the side and rolls her eyes. He laughs, shrugs his shoulders while still trying to fix his tie in the mirror. “Shut up, Alwyn.“ She mumbles, can’t stand to see him struggling with his tie any longer.

“Oh god, let me do this.“ She rolls her eyes, immediately reaches for his tie to help him fix it. Joe smiles down at her. She’s concentrated. He loves that. She suddenly looks up at him and then back down again. This feels like normalcy. “Are you always that desperate without me?“ She mumbles, clearly amused that it took him five minutes to fix his tie and for her less than thirty seconds to help him. She lets go off him, smirks and he laughs slightly, looks into the mirror once more. “I am. Look at me.“ He jokes, makes her laugh again. She hates the fact that it’s so easy with him.

She hates the fact that she’s enjoying this. Him.

“Do you still have some cash? They’re collecting donations at the end of the play and I only have ten pounds in my..“ “We pay them a ridiculous amount of money every year. Don’t you think they..“ “Joseph, this is your daughter’s education and they ask for donations, so we..“ “Alright, alright, mother Theresa. I’ll prepare a nice check for this poor private Hampstead school.“ He smirks while fixing his hair and Taylor rolls her eyes.

“Be nice. We’ll meet all of Eleanor’s teachers, her friends’ parents and..“ “I know how to behave, Tay. Calm down.“ He laughs. It seems that both of his girls are a bit nervous for tonight. Taylor was just about to walk outside the bathroom to get Eleanor ready to go as Joe stops her one more time. She turns around and he signals her to step into the room once more, carefully closes the door quietly. “What?“ She asks confused. Joe looks uncomfortable, knows that he still has to ask this. “Have you.. do they.. do they know we’re not together anymore or..“ Taylor looks at him a bit unsettled, shrugs her shoulders. She then crosses her arms, has no idea what to say. “I never told anyone. I don’t think they know.“ Taylor says. There certainly have been a couple of break up rumors in the media this last year but never enough to even let the parents and teachers at Eleanor’s school know that they’re taking a break. “Do you want us to act like.. or..“ “I won’t lie to them.“ Taylor immediately answers, her arms still crossed. She has put her walls up once more. Joe just nods. Her answers was clear. Taylor walks out and Joe checks himself out in the mirror again. He doesn’t understand her. In one second, they’re laughing and she’s opening up, treating him like she always did. In the next second he’s the bad guy again. Joe sighs, rubs his eyes. Why does this have to be so difficult?

“Mommy, can I go to Anna and Lily?“ Eleanor asks her mom while walking down the school corridor on her daddy’s hand. She smiles at Eleanor and how excited she is. She’s nervously bouncing up and down on Joe’s hand. Seeing her friends with all these dressed up parents certainly makes the little girl more nervous than before. Taylor immediately stops, crouches down to Eleanor and smiles at her. “Of course. Look, Ms. Downing is also here.“ Taylor smiles, glad to know that her teacher will take care of the toddlers before their big show. “Baby, Daddy and me will be watching from the front row. Grandma and Grandpa will cheer on you as well and after that we’ll celebrate you. Promise. We’re so proud of you, no matter what. I love you.“ She smiles, give her little kid one last hug. Joe smiles at Eleanor, then also crouches down. Now it’s his turn. He hugs her tightly, then whispers something into her ear. Taylor can’t understand a word he’s saying, just notices all the stares from the other parents that are also dropping off their child for last rehearsals in this big old corridor. She’s uncomfortable, as always. This school is one of a high- profile yet she seems to be the only ‘superstar‘ dropping off her child. As so often, people stare then turn their heads to talk to the person next to them. She sighs. How much she hates these shady London elitist parents.

Taylor looks down to Eleanor, who’s still holding onto her hand and who’s now laughing at whatever her Dad is whispering into her ear. Taylor can’t help but smile. She looks so cute tonight, wears a jeans dress and her favorite shimmering tights. She can’t wait to see this little girl in her Rudolph costume. A moment she’ll probably never forget. Joe then kisses her cheek a few times before requesting another kiss on the lips and then gets up to let her walk off. Joe and Taylor both wave at her, look at her walking up to her friends. “She’s so big. I feel like crying already.“ Taylor mumbles and Joe nods. He never thought that it would be such a weird feeling to see her do her own thing. To realize that she has fun with her friends, simply walks off and enjoys herself. That’s how it should be. Still, it’s the hardest thing to watch.

“What did you tell her?“ Taylor asks him then, looks back at him while slowly walking into the other direction of the corridor. They pass a few other parents who are already on their way to the annual cake bazaar. “I just gave her some tips. From actor to actress, you know.“ He smirks. Taylor returns his smile. He and Eleanor have so many similarities. It’s incredible.

“Okay, let me tell you a few important things..“ Taylor mumbles before entering the big assembly hall. They quickly rush into the first row, place their coats on four seats and then make their way out again. “Ms. Hendersson is Anna’s mom. And Ms. Mandra is Lily’s mom. She’s the Asian woman. We like them both cause they’re Eleanor’s friend. We won’t talk to the big redhead monster. Her son Brandy has hit Eleanor last month and..“ “He what?“ Joe asks shocked suddenly, looks at Taylor totally confused while making their way through the big old hallway once more. It’s dark outside already and the unpleasant old ceiling lights are lighting the building at this evening. “I told you about this.“ Taylor mumbles as they walk past the small classrooms once more. “You didn’t.“ He immediately says, “If I would’ve heard that some guy has hit my daughter I’d remember it trust me.“ Joe answers and Taylor rolls her eyes at him. “That ‘guy‘ is a five year old boy, so calm down.“ “I’m not surprised he’s a problem kid already. His name is Jack Daniels, who the fuck..“ he stops, immediately feels Taylor’s elbows in his side. She shakes her head, can’t hide a smirk as they walk pass a few other parents. He has always been overprotective when it came to Eleanor.

As they enter the room, Taylor sighs deeply. Her biggest wish is for this night to finally come to an end, even though it hasn’t even started yet. She looks around. Many parents and teachers are having glass of champagne in their hands already while chatting the night away in all their British accents. Taylor hates these superficial interactions. An enormous amount of these parents are ten years older than them, showing off their huge diamond rings while sipping on their glasses. Taylor is very familiar to the stares as soon as she attends one of these school events. But this time, entering this room full of parents is suddenly very different. And it takes her exactly ten seconds to realize why. This time, the focus is not on her. It’s on the handsome company in the suit, right next to her. “Is this Ms. Clarkson..“ Joe murmurs, as the woman suddenly comes running to him, interrupts her answer. “Are you Eleanor’s father?“ - a middle aged woman suddenly walks up to them, immediately shakes his hand. “I mean.. you certainly are. The resemblance is astonishing.“ She laughs, doesn’t even notice Taylor at all, not even grants her a polite smile while shaking Joe’s hand. “Oh thank you. I hope so.“ Joe jokes slightly, makes the woman in front of them cackle in laughter immediately. Taylor looks around, can’t believe that this is how this night starts. “Mr. Alwyn, we’re so pleased to finally meet you. I’m Ms. Clarkson. I teach your daughter since last year. She’s such a bright little girl. You must be incredibly proud.“ The woman gushes, doesn’t even face Taylor at all while shaking her hand. She seems captivated by him. Taylor could puke right there. Joe just smiles politely as always, listens to the woman talk. “Nice to meet you, Ms. Clarkson. We heard so much about you already. Thanks again for the wish tree my daughter gave me.“ He says and the woman starts to laugh again. Taylor feels how annoyed she already is, after only five minutes into the event. She looks at Ms. Clarkson, notices how different she acts while talking to Joe. She’s flirting. Being more obvious about the fact that she seems to find the man in front of her attractive seems impossible.

As soon as the brown haired woman starts to go on and on about how generous his last donation has been to the school, Taylor realizes that she needs a drink. As soon as possible. She slowly walks off, makes her way to the waiter at the end of the room and gladly takes two glasses from his tray. As she was just about to make her way back to Joe, she spots little Anna’s parents and walks over. This is a small talk she can’t escape.

Ten minutes. Ten minutes later, right when she noticed that donations are about to be collected, Taylor tries to make her way back to Joe. During all that smalltalk with all these boring people, Taylor completely forgot that the second glass was for Joe. She didn’t mind though. Champagne is definitely all she needed to get over with this evening.

She slowly places the glass on the serving tray, then looks around the big crowded room. It takes her exactly two second to spot her company. And she can’t believe it. Joe talks to a small group of some mothers. All of them clearly in their forties and clearly enjoying the conversation. She could get nauseous by the way these Hampstead moms look at him. The permanent giggles. The lovey eyes. She’s used to this reaction when it comes to going out with him. Joe has always been dreamy and the fact that he’s not really aware of this quality is part of the effect he has on most women.

Taylor crosses her arms. This is unbelievable. He’s a father, for goodness sake! He’s at his child’s school. How can these mothers just stand there as a troop and flirt with him shamelessly. He doesn’t even notice, she can see that in the way he talks. He’s telling a story. He’s not flirting. She knows him too well to differentiate his gestures. He’s clearly not aware of the eyes these women are giving him. Taylor doesn’t know what it is, but she suddenly feels a wave of protectiveness rush over her. Old feelings, very old feelings she hasn’t had in a very very long time are creeping back up. Especially this one particular feeling she hasn’t had in a long time. Maybe it’s because he’s wearing a suit or maybe it’s because she sees how these women are looking at him, almost drooling at the sight of his gorgeous face. He is the father of her child. He came here with her. If any of these frustrated single moms think that this is how this works, then they’re wrong. She’s leaving with him. End of the story.

Taylor immediately starts to walk over. First one, then two, then three pairs of eyes are suddenly on her. Taylor immediately fakes a smile, leans her arm around Joe’s shoulder and looks up at him. She can tell that he’s confused by the way she acts around him, stops his story of how he filmed his very first movie real quick and looks at her in pure confusion. Taylor smiles into the group of clearly aroused housewives and apologizes. “I’m so sorry for interrupting. I was so rude not to introduce myself before, sorry. I’m Mrs. Alwyn. Eleanor’s mother.“ She smiles, shakes the women’s hands automatically. Not just Joe looks totally confused at her, also the women she’s shaking hands with suddenly share a few confused looks. Mrs. Alwyn. Does that mean that Taylor Swift has gotten married after all? “Can I hijack my husband for a few seconds? Lovely to talk to you.“ She smiles, grabs Joe by his suit and pulls him out of this loud classroom. As soon as he walks down the empty hallway behind her, he finally opens his mouth. Still speechless about the scene she just caused back in the classroom. But Taylor’s going fast on her high heels, dragging him with her in a speed that’s confusing him even more. “Could you maybe explain to me what this was, or..?“ Joe asks but she doesn’t answer, instead seems eager to walk to the end of the hallway with him. “I can’t believe you introduced yourself as ‘Mrs. Alwyn‘“ he laughs, still not processing that she apparently decided to not tell these people that they broke up. He still walks behind her, confused of where’s she’s headed to. “What are you doing?“ “Showing you the school that you pay thousands of pounds to every month?“

Suddenly Taylor takes a right turn, walks up to a closed classroom at the end of the corridor. She opens the door, then turns on the light immediately. “What are you doing?“ Joe asks again. She seems different than before. More quiet.

“I want to talk.“ She murmurs, lets him enter the classroom, then closes the door and locks it. He leans against one of the small tables in the middle of the room, looks at her with a confused look on his face.

“Why are we..“

Taylor then walks up to him, doesn’t even stop before simply kissing him. Joe doesn’t move, hesitates for a split second before slowly placing his hands on her back, returning the kiss. She seems breathless, restless. Her kiss is gentle but dominant. She’s angry. He feels that. She then lets go off the kiss, breathes heavily then stumbles back to the door. She walks back and forth. She seems out of her mind. And he’s out of breath, not sure wether he’s dreaming or not.

“Have you seen these sad, desperate women?“ She suddenly turns around, starts to gesticulate with her hands in the air while looking at him. The red lipstick on her lips is clearly smudged and she’s rattled up. Angry, to say the least. “Mr. Alwyn, it’s so nice to meet you. Your daughter is such a joy to our school. Whoops-a-daisy, Mr. Alwyn, my legs just fell open..“ she imitates them in a squeaky voice, makes even Joe laugh quietly. He still leans against the table, still more than confused from their kiss. But he gets it now. He knows her too well. She has had champagne, but she’s not drunk.

Right now, she’s drunk on something totally else. And that is called jealousy.

“You got jealous.“ He laughs quietly, his hand in the pocket of his trousers, while watching her come closer to him once more. “What was it that got you? I’m just interested.“ He smirks, definitely proud that she’s still so protective of him. Taylor immediately wraps her arms around his neck, presses her torso against his and kisses him again. He feels out of breath. Her lips feel too good. Her smell. Her taste. All of that brings back all these feelings.

God, he loves this woman. He has never stopped loving this woman.

Taylor slowly lets go off him, nipples on his lower lip, her hot breath in his mouth. “I want you to fuck me in this classroom, Joe.“ She suddenly breathes against his lips, still sucking on his lower lip slowly. Joe looks at her, a mixture of pure lust and uncertainty in his eyes. Is she serious right now?

“Are you drunk?“ He whispers, tries not to laugh. She’s crazy. She always was. Suddenly Taylor kisses him again, seems to be sober enough to look into his eyes like she always did. And that’s when she suddenly gets what he’s doing. At first he was shocked. Then he understood that she was serious. And now, all he does is tease her. Tease her with his gorgeous smile. With simply standing there, not acting upon her hot words. He’s showing her that she can kiss him, but she can’t have him.

But If really he wants to play this game, she can play it as well.

Taylor slowly lets go off him, walks back to the door once more. She immediately turns off the light, then slowly makes her way back to him. He can hear the sound of her high heels on the floor, laughs quietly. He still can’t believe what has gotten into her. This side of her was something he discovered after months into their relationship. They always had this undeniable chemistry. She learnt to open up, to live out her fantasies with him. This is her opening up again. This is her admitting that she still wants him by herself. Even after all.

“Have you seen the tall brown haired guy in the grey suit?“ She asks through the dark, leans against him once more after returning to him. Her hands are in his neck again and her torso is pressed against his. She’s almost nibbling on his lip once more while talking, leaving Joe with goosebumps. “His son is really friendly with Eleanor. He’s a single dad. Trust me, there were so many cake sales where he looked at me and I..“ She stops, bites her lips. She can see in his eyes through the dark that he’s looking at her lips. Still captivated by the sound of her voice. The hot breath against his skin.

“And I knew that he’d love to do this for you.“ She finishes.

Two can play this game.

“Do what?“ He whispers, and she bites her lips once more. “Fuck me in this classroom. Make me scream. Make me scream like only you could make me scream. Make me drip on your feet. Make me forget my own name while.. while having you in me. Inside of me.“ Joe’s hands are suddenly incredibly tight on her waist as he runs circles on her sides and up to her ass, then he kisses her again. This time he’s the one that’s protective, almost possessive. Maybe it’s the darkness. Maybe it’s the fact that they both know how wrong this is. All of this. Joe starts to nip on her neck. She breathes out heavily, a soft moan in his ear.

“You’re mine. And you know that“ he whispers as he guides his tense hand to the hem of her dress, lets his soft fingers pull up the fabric inch by inch. Until he can feel her butt cheeks under his fingertips. She’s wearing a thong. Her lips on his are driving him insane. He can’t think straight anymore. A primal instinct taking over him. Just the thought of her being touched by another man is driving him insane. Only he’s allowed to do this. Only he’s allowed to make her moan into his ear like this.

“Fuck me.“ She moans out, doesn’t have to guide him anymore. Only profanities are escaping her mouth and she knows that she wants this. She fucking needs this. Her hands are on his suit and she digs her nails into his back, so deep that she swears he’ll feel the scratches on his naked skin tomorrow. Joe automatically kisses her, harder this time. His brain is on another level. All that matters is her. He looks into her eyes once more, right through the darkness of the room and pulls her thong down her legs immediately. He then pulls back, turns them around and places her on the table. He looks into her eyes and can’t help but kiss her again.

She’s was right. She’s his. His only.

#christmasbound #lovebound #taylor swift #joe and taylor #taylor swift fanfiction #joe and taylor fanfiction #joe alwyn #fanfiction #fanfic

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nancythebisexualslutwheeler · 4 years

Text

Tutor AU Pt 2

Part One Being Richie’s boyfriend is wild. He doesn’t have a lot of friends, but somehow everyone knows him. Triple B- Ben, Bev and Bill have no problem switching lunch tables to sit by Richie and Richie’s friends Stan and Mike. Though Eddie and Richie don't spend much time at the table, Richie usually sneaks out for a smoke break.

Eddie doesn’t smoke but always accompanies him, mostly because there tends to be a little kissing in between cigarettes. He never thought he’d be okay with that, but Richie makes him question everything.

***

Richie gives Eddie his leather jacket after a track meet. Eddie very pointedly doesn’t give it back. He sometimes sits in class with it, or in his bed late at night and tilts his nose into the fabric so he can smell Richie’s cologne. It’s just comforting, okay?

***

Since Richie can never set foot on Eddie’s street, Richie invites Eddie over for dinner. He’s not sure what to expect from Richie’s parents. Maggie is short and wide and wears her hair in a French braid and smiles so hard and so sincerely. Went is tall and thin and claps Eddie on the back at least three times.

She’d made spaghetti. Well, supervised, she said.

“What do you mean?”

“Well Richie’s the best chef in the house. He makes the sauce from scratch.”

“Oh wow! That’s...” he looks over at Richie whose cheeks are red.

His parents go upstairs, and they wash the dishes together and then sit on the couch. Richie turns on Netflix. They’ve barely finished an episode of NCIS when his phone starts ringing.

He pulls it out of his pocket and then walks over to the corner of the room near the patio door and answers it. Eddie hums a song in his head so he doesn’t eavesdrop.

“I’ve gotta go. Um, can you get home alright?” He asks, which is weird, he usually drives Eddie home.

Of course Eddie can take a hint, but Richie doesn’t offer any other information which is weird.

***

It’s not the last time it happens either. He cuts dates short or straight up blows off dates to accommodate whosoever number kept appearing on his phone.

***

Eddie is at the mall with his mom when he sees them. Richie is looking good as always in a Queen shirt and black jeans, even though it’s a warm fall day. He’s holding a toddler in his arms who can’t be more than two years old. Richie says hi, and Eddie’s mom stares.

“Eddie you know this, young man?” She grits out.

Richie’s eyes narrow before his face smoothes into a wide smile and he holds out a hand,

“Hello ma’am, yes Eddie tutors me in math. I’m not so good at it. I’m Richie Tozier.”

She stares at his hand until he retracts it,

“Oh, you’re Maggie’s son.”

His eyes narrow again and Eddie grabs his mom’s arm,

“Mom, let’s go.”

“I just knew-”

“Mom!”

She pulls her arm away,

“Eddie, I’m just saying,”

Richie’s body is pulled like a bow string and his face is daring her to say something.

“We’ve gotta go. Remember? New towels?”

“Fine.”

Eddie leads his mom away, as if if he lets go of her, she’ll go back and curse Richie to hell.

***

He doesn’t even think about the child again until he gets home when he texts Richie,

Eddie: You didn’t tell me you had another sister.

The response takes longer than normal. Usually Richie texts him back within seconds.

Richie: …. I don’t.

Eddie hesitates. They’ve only been dating about two months, but it feels like a lifetime. For Eddie at least. Well not a lifetime, but Eddie is falling hard. He tries to picture the child, but he had been so worried about his mom talking to Richie that he wasn’t even paying attention. The thing was that he heard about Maggie Tozier all the way home, and he hadn’t wanted that sort of wrath released on Richie.

Eddie: She’s… yours?

He hesitates before sending the message, before he finally does, right after he chooses to dial Richie’s number instead. It goes straight to voicemail.

Eddie: Really?

Richie: Nothing to say champ. We’re done.

Eddie: What? Why? What did I do?

He calls again. It goes to voicemail.

***

He knows it’s lame to ride his bike but his boyfriend, well okay the person he’s been dating, isn’t answering and there’s a whole lot that needs to be discussed. Like nine months worth of a lot.

He doesn’t expect Richie to answer the door with baby food stains on his shirt and arms. He looks just as freaked out to see Eddie. He quickly steps out and shuts the door halfway,

“What?”

“What do you mean what? You’re not answering my calls?”

“I’m a little busy,” he says rudely.

Eddie hesitates, Richie is intimidating, he is. But usually he’s so nice and kind that Eddie kind of forgets that he can come off as cold.

“You are my boyfriend right?” Eddie asks quietly, rocking back and forth on his feet.

Richie’s face softens,

“Yeah. Of course.”

“Then let me in and let’s talk about this.”

Talk about how Richie has a kid. A whole human being. Richie hesitates.

“I’m in the middle of something Eddie.”

Eddie knows he’s being desperate and clingy, but Richie had said they were done and that wasn’t okay with him,

“I’ll wait.”

Richie shifts from foot to foot,

“I don’t introduce people to her.”

Eddie nods, ready to apologize, but then Richie opens the door. Eddie can sense his hesitation, and the baby is crying. Not actively, but little hiccups and Richie strides over to the kitchen and immediately starts feeding her what Eddie assumes are the baby food version of carrots. She’s adorable, even with mashed food in her face and hair. She has dark blonde hair, her ears pierced and Richie’s blue eyes. Richie must be able to feel Eddie’s stare and he blushes,

“Well sit down.”

Eddie sits. Tries to remember any pregnant girls in their grade. Then in their school. There was a freshman, three juniors and a couple senior girls.

“Who?”

“Do you remember Wendy Miller?”

Wendy Miller was a blonde Barbie doll who switched schools at the end of last year, finishing her senior year somewhere else. Eddie feels a sting of jealousy, wondering how he’s supposed to compete with that.

“She’s beautiful,” Eddie offers instead.

“Thank you. Her name is Anastasia.”

“Big name for such a little girl.”

Richie bops her nose,

“She’ll grow into it.”

“I’ve never seen her before.”

Richie shrugs,

“I don’t introduce people to my kid.”

“It’s been two months.”

“Keeping track are we?” he teases.

“Richie, this is serious.”

“That’s why I said we’re done. There’s no,” He hesitates as Anastasia bangs the spoon on the tray of the high chair, flinging carrot residue everywhere, “I’m sorry, I should have told you. I was being selfish. I just wanted this to last.”

“Who says it can’t last?”

“You’re seventeen.”

“You’re nineteen!” he argues back.

“And I had eight months to prepare. I signed up for this. Wendy and I signed up for this. You didn’t.”

Eddie hesitates because Richie isn’t wrong.

“Do you have her full time?”

“We have 50/50 custody.”

“How old is she?”

“She’ll be a year next month.”

“That’s exciting.”

“I know! I can’t believe it. My mom is like, wanting to go to Disney World and I’m like calm down there Mags.”

Eddie laughs,

“Aw, and your sister likes her?”

“More now than when she didn’t sleep through the night.”

“Can’t blame her there.”

He can’t imagine Richie with a baby any smaller than this. The thought is almost incomprehensible. This is Richie. Who smokes cigarettes and is at every one of Eddie’s meets and didn’t graduate the first time. And he’s in charge of a whole human. Eddie isn’t trying to be judgemental but he doesn’t get why people aren’t more careful. Richie must see the judgment on his face because the smile disappears.

“You don’t have to be here,” he says harshly.

“No, I want to, I do. It’s just a lot.”

Richie shakes his head,

“Maybe you should go.”

“No, Richie please, I’m sorry,”

Richie stands up, and unstraps Anastasia before pulling her out,

“I need to give her a bath anyway. I’ll try to call you later.”

***

He doesn’t call. He doesn’t call Sunday, and he’s not in school on Monday.

***

Eddie doesn’t eat dinner on Saturday or Sunday, and his mom fawns after him the entire day, she doesn’t even go to church. Monday drags by and he calls Richie again, and it goes to voicemail, again.

***

He doesn’t even know if it’s worth it to go to by his house, so he invites Bev over instead. They’re sitting on Eddie’s bed eating pizza and ice cream with music playing in the background. His mom is at her book club, so as long as he hides the receipt and they eat on his freshly stripped bed, they should be okay.

“Richie wasn’t at school,” she points out. Like it’s just a random observation.

“Yeah I don’t know what that’s about,” he shrugs.

“But you do know something. Eddie what’s up?”

He takes a deep breath.

“Richie has a daughter. Her name is Anastasia. She’s really cute actually,”

“What the hell? A kid? Eddie, that's a huge deal.”

“I know,” Eddie moans.

“A whole kid?”

“No half a kid,” he rolls his eyes, “I think I upset him.”

“Upset him?” She screeches, “it’s been months! Did he even tell you? Eddie, this isn’t okay.”

“I know, I know, but I think I love him.”

“Oh honey.”

They don’t really talk about it after that.

***

If he’d thought Bev reacted badly, then Bill’s was terrible. They go for burgers on Wednesday after school. Richie still hasn’t been in school or answered his phone.

He’s just getting ready to drown himself in his brownie sundae when his phone dings.

Richie: hey can u come over

Eddie pauses and it sings again.

Richie: plz

Eddie quickly types out a response and Bill is like “Be careful Ed.”

***

Richie looks like shit. He smells like beer. He looks wrecked and Eddie’s defenses are up.

“What’s wrong?”

“Stasia’s been sick. It was just a cold and then she got a fever and it spiked. We were in the hospital last night- she, she’s fine, sorry I should have led with that. But I haven’t slept and I’m so tired and my heart hurts,” he’s breathing heavy and Eddie walks him to the couch.

***

After Richie says Anastasia is safe at home with her mom, and he eats a piece of peanut butter toast and drinks a glass of juice, he reaches for Eddie. He can tell Richie wants to cuddle, but he doesn’t know where they stand and he hesitates. But then Richie stares at him with his big old eyes and asks him if he will nap with him.

“I’m just so tired, but I can’t sleep. It was so scary Eds.”

Eddie pats his back,

“I’m sure it was. But she’s okay, yeah? It’ll be alright.”

So they go lay down and Richie is under the blanket and Eddie is over the blanket and Eddie kisses Richie’s forehead and holds his hand as he falls asleep. Richie looks like an angel when he’s asleep. His hair is a mess, he has freckles on his nose and he hasn’t shaved in a few days. Eddie plays on his phone for a while until Richie curls himself around him. Then he shuts off his phone and lays down. They find themselves tangled up together when Maggie knocks on the door a few hours later.

***

Eddie quickly leaves and Richie promises to call him. Eddie actually has to talk to his mother when he gets home and they eat another hotdish and spend another night talking about nothing. He showers and lays down, prepared to turn on the tv. Richie calls and they talk about Maggie freaking out about him sleeping over, and how Anastasia is doing. Eddie convinces Richie to come to school the next day and hang out with him after school. Which results in Eddie skipping a track meet.

***

Bill flips out and goes off on Richie at lunch. Eddie has never missed a track meet. Ever. He was extremely dedicated and needed a scholarship to get away from his mom.

“All I know is that he’s never missed a track meet before you. And he hasn’t been hanging out with us as much. You just want him at your beck and call while you use him for a notch in your belt!”

They haven’t even done more than makeout so he’s shocked that Bill has jumped to that conclusion. Eddie blushes, feeling embarrassed that his friends are making him seem like a child.

“He’s not just a warm body to me!”

Bill’s mouth twists,

“Is that what you tell them all? Is that what you told Wendy?”

Richie is out of his seat in a second, Mike jumps up and grabs his arm and Eddie is scared he’s going to start swinging. Ben is strong enough to hold Bill back but the two boys struggle. Tears spring to Eddie’s eyes and he pushes himself up from the table. He’s blinded by tears and he doesn’t know where he’s going, he just knows he has to get away from the yelling and fighting and suddenly he can’t breathe and he pulls his inhaler out of his pocket and sinks down against a locker.

Surprisingly it’s Mike who sinks down next to him. He can’t stop crying. Everyone’s right about him, he is a little, sick baby. Mike doesn’t touch him, just sits close to him.

“It’s okay.”

“No it’s not, this is my fault!” he wails.

Mike shakes his head,

“No, Richie should have been upfront.”

“You knew?”

Mike looks at him confused,

“Yes. Richie has been my friend since we were in diapers. I’m Anastasia’s godfather.”

Eddie looks at him wide eyed,

“That’s a big responsibility.”

“Richie is like my brother.”

They sit quietly for a few minutes.

“He really likes you. I know he does.”

Eddie’s mouth twists to the side,

“If you say so.”

Mike looks up at him. He has such a serious face,

“I do. And if you like him, at all, I think you should give him a chance.”

“I know nothing about kids. I’m an only child and I have no cousins or anything.”

“He’ll teach you. And it’s not like he’s gonna throw you in to step-daddy, or even make you watch her. He will respect your boundaries.”

“We talking about the same Richie?”

Mike’s eyebrows raise, and that seems to be as much of a facial expression as he can muster.

“Sorry, I’m joking.”

“Does he not treat you well?”

Eddie starts shaking his head immediately,

“Of course he does!”

Mike gives him an exactly look.

***

Bill and Bev apologize but Richie still won’t answer his calls. He supposes it’s his turn again to show up unannounced.

Richie looks wrecked, again. He assumes Anastasia is still sick, but Richie looks happy to see him, even if it’s just a little. Eddie pulls Richie in for a hug and he buries his face in his neck. It’s been too long.

“Surprised to see you here,” Richie says, running a hand over his face.

“One day you’re gonna stop being surprised. I want to date you, stop trying to get rid of me.”

“Even with Anastasia? Because it’s going to be really hard,”

“If I start quoting The Notebook right now, will you punch me?”

“Absolutely.”

“Well I want to try. More than try. Richie, I’m in love with you.”

He beams behind his glasses,

“I’m in love with you, Eddie spaghetti.”

“Oh god, is that a dad joke? It is, isn’t it?”

Richie just laughs harder and pulls Eddie against his chest in a hug, and Eddie tips his head up to kiss him softly.

#reddie #Reddie fan fiction #richie tozier #eddie kaspbrack #bill denbrough #Beverly marsh #mike hanlon #stanley uris #ben hanscom #it 2017 #it 2019 #my writing

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ladynestaarcheron · 5 years

Text

hello! so this is a mostly-nessian fic, ah, au, set in modern times, told via text and group chats. available here on ao3 as well. enjoy:)

Feyre Archeron to The She Musketeers: So you’re both coming to dinner this Saturday night?

Elain Archeron: Yes! Can’t wait!

Nesta Archeron: Yes

Feyre: Great So I’ll send you the address but you still have to call me when you get there because getting into Rhys’ apartment is kind of a hassle

Elain: What should we wear?

Feyre: Oh I know it sounds fancy but we’re totally casual

Nesta: Elain, when did you choose this God-awful group name?

Elain: ?? what’s wrong with it?

Feyre: I like the new group name

Nesta: Did you even read The Three Musketeers?

Elain: I saw the mickey mouse one

Feyre: I saw the barbie one

Nesta: Why does it have to say she instead of three?

Nesta: There was a Barbie one?

Elain: so that we know we’re girls

Feyre: Yeah barbie and the three musketeers

Elain: or any she/her individuals

Nesta: If Barbie doesn’t need to specify she then why do you?

Elain changed the group name to Three/3/III/...--

Feyre: Since when do you know morse?

Nesta: Elain, for God’s sake

Nesta Archeron to Little Feyre: So is Barbie a part of the three? Because it’s not exactly clear from the title.

***

Rhysand Setareh to Cass and the Machine: which one of you stole my good jacket?

Cassian Razmande: u have no good jackets

Azriel Sayeh: Cassian did.

Cassian: all ur jackets are lame

Cassian: wow, traitor much??

Azriel: I think he left it at Mor’s.

Rhys: cool, thanks

Rhys: thanks @Az I mean

Rhys: if it wasn’t clear I was not thanking you for stealing my best jacket

Cassian: so i think this is a betrayal on two accounts, one thinking i would steal a lame jacket and two ratting me out

Rhys: why’d you even take it? you only ever wear your leather one anyway

Cassian: i d i d n o t t a k e y o u r s t u p i d j a c k e t

Azriel: He had a date with a woman named Charlotte Reddon. She’s a senior actuary for Helion at Day’s Savings.

Rhys: wow, really?

Cassian: honestly the idea that i would ever date anyone who works in insurance counts as betrayal number 3

Cassian: no!!!

Cassian Razmande to Razzmatazz: how did you find out??? she literally just made senior actuary this week??

Azriel to Cass and the Machine: [Screenshot image]

Cassian: WOW

Rhys: well congrats to Charlotte!!!!!

Cassian changed the group name to Cass and Rhys and Traitor Joes

Azriel changed the group name to Cass and Rhys and Traitor Joe

Azriel: It’s only Joe’s if you mean to assign ownership to the establishment.

Cassian has removed Azriel from the group chat.

Rhys: so, how did it go??

Cassian: Not Well Thanks For Asking

Rhys: ah, well. you just need to get out more.

Cassian: i go out all the time?

Rhys: i mean like... go out and talk to someone who is not me or az or mor or amren or Feyre

Cassian: whyd you only capitalize her name?

Rhys: she deserves it :)

Cassian has removed Rhys from the group chat.

***

Feyre Archeron to Rhys <3: Seating arrangements are too much comma right question mark

Feyre: Not like that exclamation point

Feyre: Oh my God I hate this text to talk

Feyre: I give up!!!!

Rhysand Setareh to Darling Feyre My Love and Life<3<3<3: bit early for a break down, i think.

Feyre: It’s never too early for a break down

Feyre: Seating arrangements question mark

Feyre: I mean seating arrangements punctuation question mark

Feyre: J E S U S

Rhys: don’t hurt yourself

Feyre: Too late already walked into a pole

Rhys: what??? are you okay???

Feyre: Fine just tell me what you think about seating arrangements

Rhys: unnecessary

Rhys: we’ll just tell everyone where to sit ahead of time and your sisters won’t have to decide where to sit

Feyre: But I don’t know where they should sit!

Feyre: Oh that’s how you do it!

Feyre: Reece I got it to work!

Feyre: Oh it’s got your name wrong

Rhys: i really think you’re overreacting

Feyre: Can I like register your name?

Rhys: i’ll do it when you get home

Rhys: also don’t worry about it. you’re sitting next to me and your sisters will be across from us and the other will fill in the spots

Rhys: oh we should keep cass and amren away from elain

Feyre: Yeah, but we need to keep Cassian away from Nesta, too.

Rhys: i think nesta can handle herself

Feyre: Cassian can’t.

***

Nesta Archeron to Little Feyre: Okay we’re outside

Feyre Archeron to Nesta, PhD: Okay, the doorlady’s name is Nuala, tell her you’re coming to see us

Nesta: There’s no one here named Nuala?

Feyre: Maybe her twin Cerridwen?

Nesta: You have twin doorladies?

Feyre: It’s really not as weird as you think it is

***

Morrigan Liolle to Fey: Survived the night?

Feyre Archeron to Mor: no

Feyre: Nesta’s never speaking to me again, I think.

Mor: She’ll come around. How’s Elain?

Feyre: Pretending like nothing happened which is good I guess?

Mor: How is that good?

Feyre: Well, she and I are still on for Saturday night.

Mor: Huh. Well, that is good.

Morrigan Lilolle to Idiot: You owe Nesta Archeron a new shirt

Mor: And skirt

Mor: And shoes

Cassian Razmande to Mor: i’ll thank you not to tell me how to dress nesta, thanks very much

Mor: You didn’t say anything in that vein to her, did you??????

Mor: Cassian answer me

Mor: Cassian

Mor: C a s s i a n

Mor: I guess I never did sit you down and teach you how to talk to women.

Morrigan Liolle to Rhys: We may be in need of some damage control.

Rhysand Setareh to Mor: but Feyre and elain are still on for saturday?

Rhys: and i don’t think she’s mad at Feyre?

Rhys: oh

Rhysand Setareh to Cass: What Did You Do Now.

Cassian Razmande to Rhys’s Pieces: nothing????

Rhys: to NESTA

Cassian: oh

Cassian: what do you care?

Rhys: if you have fucked this up for Feyre even more is2g

Cassian: i haven’t!!!!!!!!!

Azriel Sayeh to Cassian: Did you try and come on to Nesta after ruining dinner last night?

Cassian Razmande to Mor: what are you OBSESSED with getting me in trouble??????????????

Amren to No Drunk Strip Karaoke Allowed At The Penthouse: @Cassian Razmande, why don’t you clear up exactly what you said to Nesta Archeron?

Feyre Archeron: Yes I’d be thrilled to hear

Rhysand Setareh: i think we all would be

Cassian Razmande: jesus

Cassian: well since her clothes got all messed up at dinner

Cassian: as i was gallantly walking her out

Morrigan Liolle: you messed up all her clothes at dinner

Azriel Sayeh: You locked her out.

Cassian: i offered to buy her some new clothes and wash the ones she had on

Azriel: Jesus, Cassian.

Mor: g o d feyre i’m sorry

Cassian: what is so bad about that??????

Amren: Cassian. Do you think we’re all convinced you offered to reimburse Nesta for her troubles and drop off her outfit at the dry cleaner’s?

Feyre: she said it was the worst way she’s ever been asked out on a date

Cassian Razmande to Feyr Bear: she said it was a date?

Cassian: because she sorta said yes.

***

Cassian Razmande to Nesta;)PhD;): so i hear you’re spreading rumors about us? ;)

Nesta Archeron to Cassian Feyre’s New Idiot Friend: Who is this?

Cassian: aww don’t be like that;)

Cassian: come on nes;)

Nesta: Don’t call me Nes, you ass.

Cassian: so you do have my number;)

Nesta: What the hell is up with all the winking emoticons?

Cassian: i heard you got a little worked up after yesterday

Nesta: Oh, you mean when you poured dinner all over me?

Nesta: Or before that, when you insulted my career?

Nesta: Or after that, when you locked me outside?

Cassian: no after that

Cassian: when we made plans for our date

Nesta Archeron to Little Feyre: I don’t know where you find your strays, Feyre, but you keep them out of my life.

[One call from Feyre Archeron to Nesta, PhD]

[One call from Feyre Archeron to Rhys<3]

[One call from Rhysand Setareh to Cass]

Cassian Razmande to Nesta;)PhD;): so i’ve just been informed that you did not actually agree to come along with me on a clothes-shopping date.

Nesta Archeron to Cassian Feyre’s New Idiot Friend: Oh do you think?

Cassian: in my defense your sarcasm is too subtle

Nesta: Sarcasm is only worth it if it’s subtle

Cassian: we can debate the merits of too-subtle and overtness over breakfast after tonight

Cassian: DON’T call feyre to tell on me to rhys again that was a joke

Cassian: but dinner?

Nesta Archeron to Ellie: I don’t like Feyre’s new friends. Do you?

Elain Archeron to Nesta My Big Sister<3: i think i liked them

Nesta: You think you liked them? What does that mean?

Elain: well i got the feeling they were performing

Nesta: Oh, you think that was them trying more than usual?

Elain: come on it wasn’t so bad

Nesta: You left dry

Elain: did cassian ask you out for real?

Elain Archeron to Feyre My Little Sister<3: :)

Feyre Archeron to Ellie<3: ....yes???

Elain: nesta’s got a crush:)

Feyre: Oh?

Elain: she can’t stop thinking about him:)

Feyre: In fairness that could be her spitting rage

Elain: no one in this family understands love.

Cassian Razmande to Feyr Bear: look, am i taking your sister on a date or not?

Feyre Archeron to Cass: ???????? Idk?????????

Feyre: Are you????????

Cassian: like. i don’t know. that’s why i’m asking you

Cassian: i have asked repeatedly and i believe she has said yes but someone is planting seeds of doubt in my mind

Feyre: Is someone Nesta or Rhys?

Feyre: Because if it’s Nesta I think it’s safe to say you’re not actually going out

Amren to Nesta Archeron: Just put the boy out of his misery.

Nesta Archeron: Sorry, who is this?

Amren: Amren. We met at dinner the other night.

Nesta: Oh, Feyre’s friend.

Amren: From dinner. Anyway, he’s an idiot, sure, but torturing lesser beings is still generally frowned upon.

Nesta: How am I torturing him, exactly?

Amren: Just let him know if you’re going out or not.

Nesta Archeron to Little Feyre: [Message deleted]

Nesta Archeron to Ellie: [Message deleted]

Nesta Archeron to Amren: What do you think I should do?

Amren to Nesta Archeron: Regarding?

Nesta: You know

Nesta: Him

Nesta: Cassian

Amren: Trust your instincts, girl.

Nesta Archeron to Cassian Feyre’s New Idiot Friend: It really was the worst date-proposal I’ve ever received

Cassian Razmande to Nesta;)PhD;): was it really???

Cassian: at least i offered to pay

Nesta: It is 100% the initiating party’s responsibility to pay for the date

Cassian: is that your professional legal opinion?

Nesta: It is

Nesta: So hypothetically, Tuesday lunch would be on me

Nesta: If you were free

Nesta: And I were asking you out

Cassian: hypothetically i would be free for that

Cassian: well, dr. archeron?

Cassian: are you asking me out?

Nesta: Yes.

Cassian: then i’ll see you tuesday

Cassian: ;)

Cassian: see? the winking emoticons are necessary. look how un-into our date i look without it

Cassian: v v much into our date btw

Nesta: Quit while you’re ahead

Cassian: if those are the doctor’s orders:)

Cassian: what’s your stance on regular smilies?

#lizo writes #nessian fic #acotar fic #acotar modern au #nesta archeron #cassian #nessian #so I made Feyre dyslexic #and there is a lot that went on in my head that I didn't write here!!#perhaps I will expand on this one day #anyway I'd love to hear your thoughts #I am always up for talking about Nesta Archeron my lovely wife also

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artificialqueens · 5 years

Text

Sweets and Tea, Chapter 2// Trixya //Lin

AN: Hi guys! Lin again! Here's part 2 of Sweets and Tea! I hope y'all enjoy this chapter, and I'll hopefully have an update soon!

Trigger Warnings: None for this chapter.

“Hm?” Trixie asked her, pulling her sleeves from her hoodie down over her hands. “W-what did you,” Trixie looked around to make sure her father was around, “fuck up?” She lowered her tone as she swore.

“You didn’t message me back last night, so I assumed I had said something wrong. You read my message, and then you never replied. Was it because I changed the tone of the conversation?”

“No, you didn’t do anything wrong. I must’ve fallen asleep as I was responding or something.” It was a lame excuse, but she couldn’t tell her what actually happened.

“Oh, well, I’m glad I didn’t screw it up. Well, at least I haven’t screwed it up yet.” Katya said with a smirk. “Maybe you can reply to me sometime tonight?” She bravely asked Trixie.

Trixie felt her cheeks heat up and suspected they turned red. “Y-yeah. I have some homework to do after dance, but I should be able to reply when I finish.” Trixie fidgeted with her fingers as she looked back up at Katya. For some reason, she couldn’t help but wonder why Katya was trying to talk to her. Trixie didn’t think she was really Katya’s type, and she was straight-- at least that is what Trixie liked everyone to believe.

“You and your dedication to school,” Katya laughed. “I can wait, just text me whenever you have the time to talk. I never sleep before two a.m., so I’ll be awake. I’ll be waiting for your message Trixie.” Katya winked before turning and leaving her be.

Trixie watched as she walked out. She couldn’t help but think about messaging Katya later that night. She wanted to pull out her phone and message her right then, but she didn’t. She went about the rest of her duties: cleaning the bakery, storing the unbought pastries in the fridge, sweeping and mopping the floors, and wiping down the tables.

***

9:17pm: Hey, Katya. :) I tried not to make you wait too long, but school comes before play.

9:23pm: hi, of course youd say that. How was dance??

9:25pm: Awful! Absolutely a w f u l. We had conditioning today, and I can already tell I’m going to be sore in the morning. Anyway, how was your evening? I hope it was well.

9:27pm: barbie,, you text so proper, but i’m sorry to hear that. My night has been okay… my mom is still working but i spent time at alaska’s.

9:29pm: My dad told me that I shouldn’t use slang or improper language. He said I’d become too accustomed to it and it would cause me to use it in my day to day life. I suppose it’s just a habit now.

9:30pm: and do you listen to everything your dad tells you?

9:31pm: Yes, abide by thy father and thy mother.

9:33pm: omfg barbie, that’s from the bible!!!!

9:34pm: It is. I guess it’s the brainwashing clouding my mind.

9:35pm: is that a stab at when i voiced my opinion that religion is a form of brainwashing in chem last year?

9:36pm: It was… maybe you’re right though. Maybe it is a form of manipulation in a way. A way to get people to act the way they want them to act… do things that aren't Christian like but use the Bible to make the person feel as though they have to obey.

9:38pm: do you think you’re being manipulated

9;40pm: Oh, no. No, I don’t believe I am. I’m just saying maybe other people feel that way.

9:42pm: you sure? Im here to listen if you need it. Always

9:43pm: Why?

9:43pm: why what?

9:44pm: Why are you all of a sudden taking an interest in me?

9:45pm: because we’re friends

9:46pm: But we never texted before. I don’t want to sound rude, but I just don’t understand the want for interaction with me. When we were lab partners, you didn’t seem interested in developing a friendship with me throughout the year.

9:50pm: i dont know why. I spent a few minutes trying to figure it out, but idk… when i saw you again, I felt the need to reconnect… maybe on a more personal note? If you don’t want to have a friendship, I understand

9:52pm: I wouldn’t mind a new friend. You should text me at 802-###-####. I think it would be much easier than Instagram DM. Also, I’m going to turn my phone off now. I got in trouble last night for being on it after 10pm. Crazy how I’m 16 with a phone curfew, huh? Goodnight, Katya. :)

9:53pm: yes, it is very weird that you still have a phone curfew. I will text you in the morning and goodnight.

***

Trixie had been waiting on Katya’s message all morning. She was constantly checking her phone, causing her to get sadder and sadder every time she didn’t see a text from an unknown number.

“Beatrice, hurry up! I have a meeting for the bakery in an hour, so I need to drop you off at school early.” Her dad called from downstairs.

“I-I can walk.” She yelled. Trixie would rather walk than sit in the car with her dad. She used to love spending time with her dad, especially their car rides, but ever since her mom had passed away the car rides weren’t the same. Nothing was ever the same.

“Don’t wanna ride with me anymore?” She heard her dad’s voice get closer and turned to see him in the doorway of her bathroom. Trixie pulled her skirt down a bit more and buttoned her shirt up one more button. “You’re so beautiful, princess. You’ve grown up to be a beautiful young lady.”

“I just want to clear my head. I’m just nervous for my bible analyzation exam.” She made an excuse. “Thank you,” Trixie kept her voice low as she continued to curl her hair. “I’ll be fine, dad. I’ll send you a text message when I make it there safely.”

“Okay, princess. I’ll see you after school. Love you.” He walked over to kiss her forehead before turning away to leave.

Trixie flinched at the touch and affection before plastering on the fake smile that she always had. “Love you too.” She whispered back before sighing of relief when he exited the bathroom. A few months ago, Trixie would’ve done anything with her dad. They’d watch terrible tv shows, comedy movies, football, and dance competition shows. Now, Trixie was nervous to spend alone time with her father. He always seemed to get handsy with her if they spent more than twenty minutes together.

Trixie heard her phone ding on her countertop. She quickly picked it up and saw a message from an unknown number.

7:58am: morning trix.

7:59am: this is katya btw.

8:00am: Hi, Katya. Good morning to you as well. How are you this morning?

8:00am: tired… i just got up so that’s why i hasn’t texted earlier. what time do you have to be at school?

8:02am: My school starts at 8:00am, but I don’t have to be there until 9:00am. I don’t have a first period class. Does Riverside High still start at 9:00am?

8:03am: yes, wanna grab coffee with me? I mean i understand if you can’t or don’t want to..

8:04am: I’d love to! What time would you like to meet?

8:04am: 8:20 and at daily brew?if it isn’t close to your school, we can meet somewhere else.

8:06am: That works, it’s about a ten minute walk from my school.

8:07am: great, i’m gonna get ready and i’ll see you then

Trixie left her home at 8:10am to make her way to the coffee shop. She pulled the light pink sleeves from her crewneck over her hands in order to protect her from the air. It was only fifty degrees fahrenheit, but she didn’t like any sort of weather that is below seventy five degrees. She put her earphones in and played her current favorite songs. She softly sung along to the songs, smiling to herself as her mom’s all time favorite song began to play.

When Trixie arrived at the shop, she was starving and was also in need of caffeine. Her eyes traveled around the small shop, searching for Katya. She didn’t see anyone in the cafe except for the couple in the corner in an argument. She pulled her phone from her skirt pocket to check the time. 8:23am. She quietly sighed as she opened her text messages to text Katya. Trixie hoped she hadn’t been played or stood up by the other girl. Before she had the chance to send the message, she felt a tap on her shoulder. She quickly turned around and saw Katya. “Hi,” she smiled as she removed her earbuds.

“Hi, sorry I’m late. My shower took longer than I thought it would be.” Katya had practically ran to the coffee shop. Her hair was still drenched in water, causing the back of her shirt to become wet. Her mascara had smudged under her eyes from not being given enough time to dry. “I also probably look a mess, so once again I am sorry.”

“No, no, don’t feel bad. You look great and I just got here.” She was more concerned about Katya getting sick from the partially cold weather and wet hair. “Do you want to order and then we can sit and talk?” Trixie asked earning a nod from Katya.

#rpdr fanfiction #trixie mattel #katya zamolodchikova #trixya #high school au #sweets and tea #lin #concrit welcome #lesbian au

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