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elitegymnastics · 3 years

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Q: What is this?

A: It’s a flyer for a virtual fundraiser on June 4th that Elite Gymnastics is playing. You can access the show at quietyear.com

Q: Hasn’t Elite Gymnastics been inactive for like, ten years?

A: Yes. This is the first Elite Gymnastics performance of any kind since November 30th 2012, at the Horn Gallery at Kenyon College in Gambier, Ohio.

Q: Why did Elite Gymnastics stop playing shows?

A: Elite Gymnastics started out as me (Jaime) and a bunch of my friends agreeing to help me play my songs live back in 2009. I made a lot of weird demos in GarageBand and my friend Dominique Davis from the band Dearling Physique got tired of watching me sit on them. So, he booked me to play at a show he was curating as part of a small local music and arts festival called Clapperclaw. For several months that’s mainly what EG was. At some point the focus shifted to making recordings rather than playing shows, to participate in the emergent culture of new music distributed via MP3 file-sharing. The lineup winnowed to just me and Josh Clancy, who began creating digital EPs that we posted on this Tumblr page as ZIP files full of MP3s accompanied by a PDF of artwork. This is the incarnation of the group that most people are familiar with.

This was before Patreon existed. If Bandcamp was around, we’d never heard of it. Though MP3 file-sharing culture and file transfer sites like MediaFire and MegaUpload allowed anyone to distribute music freely across the world via the internet, it was still pretty difficult to get people to pay you for it. I think it was for this reason that a lot of internet music back then featured a lot of sampling. A lot of artists’ first forays into the world of DAWs and production took the form of mash-ups, bootleg remixes, and DJ mixes. Artists like Animal Collective, MIA, Kanye West, and Daft Punk for whom sampling was a pillar of their creative process were extremely influential. Elite Gymnastics was no exception - the first song of ours to gain traction online was “Is This On Me?” which made no attempt to hide the fact that it heavily sampled Faye Wong’s “Eyes On Me.” The fact that it was so difficult to make money off MP3s pushed people to make different creative decisions than they would have otherwise. It was sort of a free-for-all.

Eventually, all of this started to change. The major labels started getting a lot more aggressive about trying to destroy MP3 file-sharing culture. Platforms like MegaUpload were raided and taken offline. The replacements that sprung up to replace them were increasingly infested with ads and malware. Corporate platforms like YouTube and SoundCloud adopted Content ID filters to prevent the proliferation of copyrighted music there. Blogs and private torrent trackers being taken down meant thousands of hours of labor were wiped out in an instant. Some of the best archives of the history of recorded music ever created were destroyed without hesitation. Even the most devoted participants lost the will to keep repairing and re-making the stuff that cops and record companies kept obliterating.

Josh and I both dreamed of being able to make a living as musicians. We still do. Back then, we were willing to accept a lot of changes in order to make that possible, which seemed necessary. A lot of the stuff that we were great at just didn’t make any money. Once, we were asked to do a remix of a song called “Sa Sa Samoa” by the band Korallreven. I did the remix by myself, which was normal for us, and Josh was so inspired by it that he spent a week working non-stop to create a video for it. People loved it - the day the video dropped, Pitchfork designated the song as a “Best New Track” and New York Magazine wrote about it in their “Approval Matrix.” The video led to a ton of exposure, but from a financial perspective, it just did not make sense to put that much effort into promoting a remix of someone else’s song. The stuff we were personally excited by just seemed to have less and less to do with what actually makes money.

A lot of internet bands during this era began to palpably shapeshift in an effort to succeed in music as a career. Artists who’d first attracted notice for sample-based bangers they made on a laptop started posing with vintage hardware in their press photos and trading in their laptops for live bands and recording studios. It became harder to distribute DJ mixes or mash-ups that contained copyrighted music in them. Influential bloggers either closed up shop or were absorbed into the traditional music industry in some way. Feeds that once touted bizarre songs by laptop-toting weirdos with no industry connections started to become populated mostly by artists with labels and publicists. The bottom rungs of festival lineups started to consist mostly of new major label signings who have lots of money to spend on stage production but not much in the way of grassroots fan enthusiasm or media buzz.

Internet music and what people tend to refer to as “indie music” split off into two separate streams. Today, there’s a pretty intense firewall between internet culture and whatever you want to call the culture of vinyl records, mid-sized indie labels with publicists, and positive reviews from the few remaining websites that still pay people to write about music. I call it “publicist indie,” “lifestyle techno,” or “prestige electronica” depending on whether or not the music features guitars and/or vocals. The recent online kerfuffle about NFTs really emphasized this split. The worlds of digital illustration and game development campaigned aggressively against mass adoption of cryptocurrency - if you saw any Medium posts explaining crypto’s environmental issues, chances are they were written by someone from those fields. Every new announcement by an artist that they had minted an NFT was met with a swift and vocal backlash from fans. Though I’ve never really been much of an Aphex Twin fan, it was still pretty startling to look at the replies under his NFT announcement tweet and see hundreds of furious people announcing that he was now dead to them. That’s an artist who has seemed more or less unimpeachable for most of my life up until this point! All of that seemed to change in an instant.

There is a massive disconnect between the insular world of the industry establishment and the cutting edge of online counterculture. We saw this again a couple of weeks ago with the online response to the crisis in Gaza. We saw passionate advocacy for Palestinians from games journalists and developers much more often than we saw it from musicians. This is a very serious problem for music! I do not believe it is possible to please both sides - that is to say, I do not believe it is possible to be part of internet counterculture and the industry establishment simultaneously. The music industry is too conservative, too compromised, too corrupt. If it weren’t for the ocean of valuable copyrights that labels are sitting on, most of them would be bankrupt within a year. If the industry was forced to live or die based on how they handle what’s happening right now in the present, it would most assuredly die. The only people who don’t realize this are those who are being paid to stay ignorant.

Josh and I did not know this back then. From where we were standing, it looked like internet culture and established media industries were on track to converge. A career in the arts seemed genuinely, tantalizingly possible, right up until the moment that it no longer did.

In my case, I had really been struggling up until that point. My life had been this ongoing sequence of evictions and hospitalizations, and it seemed to be getting worse, not better. I donated plasma twice a week to pay for groceries and while I was sitting there with a giant needle stuck in my left arm for an hour I would see my picture in The Fader or my songs being recommended by one of the Kings of Leon on Twitter or whatever. Music seemed like the only thing the world thought I was any good at. It felt like my only chance at a peaceful, happy life was somewhere out there in a world I could only perceive through a laptop screen.

Gender, for me, was a big factor in all of this. The more invested in the craft of songwriting I became, the harder it was to repress or ignore my gender stuff. At that time I’m not sure I even knew what the word “transgender” meant - I just knew that when I showed up at a venue wearing a skirt, no one would talk to me or look me in the eye, and that reading about people like Anohni or Terre Thaemlitz or on the internet made me feel like if I could get out of Minneapolis maybe I could find a place where people would accept me. The internet was like, a pretty toxic place for someone in my position. When I tried to find people to talk to about what I was feeling, nobody tried to tell me to read Judith Butler or ask me what pronouns I preferred. The internet was just like, overrun with predators who just wanted to fetishize me and exploit me. Music seemed like the only way I’d ever have an actual life as myself. I was desperate for that. I was well and truly desperate.

Between all the big changes that were happening to us individually and the music industry moving farther and farther away of the anarchic free-for-all of MP3 file-sharing culture, the strain on us just got to be too much. We stopped trusting each other. We became the unstoppable force and the immovable object, crashing haphazardly against one another’s resolve in a dazzling display of youthful futility. Our partnership ended, and after finishing out the remaining live shows on the calendar by myself, I retired the name “Elite Gymnastics” and started making music on my own under other names. That was that.

Q: Why is Elite Gymnastics coming back now, then?

A: Over the years, Josh and I eventually started talking again. Though there was a lot we did agree on, and potential future projects were discussed, nothing truly felt right. We haven’t been in the same room since Summer 2012, and we’ve both changed a lot since then. We both have other projects and we’ve both developed other ways of working since we stopped working together. It’s a pretty big commitment to put all of that aside in order to join your fortunes together with someone you haven’t seen in a decade.

Recently, Josh decided to leave Elite Gymnastics. His reasons are his own, and I was very surprised by his decision, but after having had time to adjust, I’m really grateful to him. I had kept these songs at a distance for many years, because it seemed foolish to allow myself to get too attached to songs I didn’t feel like I was allowed to think of as mine, if that makes any sense. The songs felt like casualties of a conflict that I had to bury in the ground and try to forget about. Being able to embrace them again felt like re-growing a severed limb or having a loved one come back to life, almost. Feeling like it was safe to love these songs again made me feel whole in a way I didn’t expect to. I became really excited by the prospect of revisiting them, so that’s what I decided to do.

Q: Does this mean you’re going to put RUIN back on Spotify?

A: No. Taking the record off Spotify was the right thing to do. That record was only ever intended to exist during the era of MP3 piracy. I never envisioned a world where the music industry would be so aggressive about policing the way that copyrighted music is allowed to exist online. If we hadn’t opted to take the record down when we did, someone would inevitably have forced us to. If you want to hear those specific recordings again, you’re going to have to do it the way we originally intended: by downloading MP3 files from the internet. Try SoulSeek.

Q: What’s next for Elite Gymnastics, then?

A: Here’s the situation currently. There is no Elite Gymnastics music available to stream or purchase in an official capacity anywhere on the internet. It wouldn’t really be possible for me to put the old stuff on Spotify or Bandcamp now because of all the samples. Like I said before, it was a different time. Those records were created to thrive on a past version of the internet that no longer exists. They weren’t designed to be compatible with the 2021 internet.

Technically, Elite Gymnastics didn’t ever release a debut album. We had EPs, a compilation, and a remix collection. We didn’t make an album, a record that existed as the distillation of all that experimentation that contained all of the songs that fans of the EPs would want to hear, all in one place. It’s like we did Good Fridays but stopped before we made My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy.

So, I am currently working on the first Elite Gymnastics album. If you were following my stuff as Default Genders, you may have noticed me posting demos on my SoundCloud page from 2015-2018 that were all eventually reworked into the album Main Pop Girl 2019. The album I am making is taking that approach to all the old EG songs, including some unreleased stuff. I’m collaborating with others on some songs and I honestly feel like it has resulted in some of the best and most exciting music I have ever been involved with. It is a drastic reinvention, but iteration and reinvention have always been a big part of what I do. I want to make something that feels like the culmination of everything that came before, and so far, I think I’m succeeding.

Q: When will I be able to hear this new music?

At a virtual fundraiser on June 4th, 2021, where there is a suggested donation of $10. You can access it at quietyear.com

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writefightandflightclub · 3 years

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Luna’s one year tumblr anniversary celebration: friends / idiots to lovers blurb event! 🎉 🌝 🐤 🦅

EDIT: slots full for round 1 (W/c 22nd Feb). Any requests from now on will be added to a secondary list for potential round 2 (dates TBC).

Please send a prompt from the list under the cut + a character (+ tell me which way around you want the scenario)! You can start sending now, and I will aim to publish a bunch of little blurbs during w/c 22nd Feb. Must be following + must be over 18 to request! 🙏 See here for characters I am prepared to write for / other guidelines (mainly Oscar + Pedro characters).

I’ll use each prompt only once, and will write up to 10 blurbs to start with (may add more slots later). I’ll keep this post updated when a prompt is taken, so please check before sending! 🧡

Feel free to use this prompt list for your own stories too, but please tag me if you do / don’t repost the full list without credit? Would love to see what you do if you use them! 😁🙏

GIF by @scimitar-and-longsword

50 PROMPTS UNDER THE CUT

Ten years ago, we promised to meet in this very spot if we hadn’t found love yet. Will you show up?

“I’m your emergency contact?!”

A: “I wrote you a letter, all those years ago, telling you how I really felt.” B: ”Wait, what letter?” (Inspired by New Girl) (RICHARD) ✅

“I can’t watch people hurt you anymore. You can do so much better.”

*panting* “Don’t marry them! Don’t do it!”

A: “Wait, what did you just say?!” B: “Nothing. I’m just drunk, not in love.” *throws up* (NATHAN)

“Come on. You’re perfection. He’s an idiot if he doesn’t want you.”(NATHAN) ✅

“We always said we’d get married at 40 if we were still single. You wanna?”

“I’m not in love! I just can’t stop thinking about you and I want to be with you all the time.”

We hooked up one time while drunk but I kinda want to do it again and I’m too stubborn to tell you. (FRANKIE) ✅

I’m being an ass to push you away bc I caught feels. I may have pushed you too far though. (POE)

My own emotions are a mystery to me but thanks goodness YOU figured out what I’m feeling. (BENNY)

I waited too long to tell you and now you’re married to someone else. I missed my chance... didn’t I?

We hooked up one time but now I’m pregnant and I’m pretty sure it’s your baby. (POE) ✅

I thought we coulda been something; until you slept with one of our other friends instead of me.

I’ve never seen you dressed up like that and fuck. You’re... HOT. (SANTIAGO) ✅

You think I hate your s/o bc I caught feelings for you but it’s not that... oh wait. Actually, yep, that’s accurate.

You do something completely mundane that shows you know me so well, and suddenly my feelings hit me. (RICHARD)

I just hate you lately. You’re getting on my last nerve, and everyone around needs to know it.

I’m trying to ask you if you want more, but I can’t get the words out. Literally.

I’m trying to engineer a situation to take things further, but you’re so damn oblivious that not one of my plans is working. (FRANKIE)

Why do our friends keep trying to hook us up? There’s nothing between us!

We’re insufferable idiots and they’ve locked us in the closet until we make-out. (POE)

We might die imminently. I have to confess my feelings.

My partner got me a novelty gift for my birthday and you bought me a first edition of my favourite book. Are you in love with me? (Stolen from F.R.I.E.N.D.S)

I’m casually dating your best friend but I wish I’d met you first. What do we do?

“Truthfully. Have you ever thought about it? Fucking me?”

I’m in denial because I don’t want to fuck this up and my feelings scare me. (NATHAN)

You went away and I miss you so much I never want to be without you again. When you come back I’m planning to surprise you.

“It’s fine if we share a room, right? It’s only one weekend.” (SANTIAGO) ✅

I need you to pretend to be my s/o for a wedding/high school reunion/other big event.

We decided to be roommates but I didn’t think about how thin these walls are... and I heard everything you just did.

We only kissed to piss off your asshole ex but... that felt kinda mindblowing actually. What if we did it again? For science?

Oh crap, I just saw you nude on accident and now I can’t stop thinking about you. (EVGENI) ✅

Your tent was flooded and now we have to share and oh damn I didn’t know how hard this would be.

We did a compatibility test on a dating site for laughs. But, shocker, we got 98%. Huh.

Everyone thinks we’re a couple but you go to such lengths to deny it that you really mustn’t like me. (POE)

We’re not in love, we’re just friends who hook-up sometimes. Oh wait.

My date stood me up so you fill-in out of sympathy... is it weird this is the best date I’ve been on, maybe ever?

I’m on a date and I just wish I was with you instead. (SANTI)

I fucked up my date bc I couldn’t stop talking about you.

We tried dating once and it didn’t work bc I was an ass... but I’ve grown since then, please can we try one more time?

Our friends have a bet on whether we’ll kiss and one of them needs the money. May as well do it for their benefit, huh?

You were threatened/punched and I became super protective. You didn’t know I cared so much. And neither did I. (SANTI)

I’m avoiding you suddenly and you think something bad has happened. No, I just have a huge crush on you and turn to jelly. (FINN) ✅

“I’m being relocated. Come with me.” (BLUE)

“I thought you were dead!”

“I thought I was dying and all I wanted was you.”

You don’t see me that way and it breaks my heart. The yearn is real. Unless..?

A: “Seriously? Why haven’t you been dating lately?” B: “Uhhhh....” (Hint, bc of you.)

A: “What would you know about unrequited feelings? You can have anyone you want!” B: “Yeah, except you.” A: “Wait, what?”

We got drunk-married in Vegas and I told you I would get it annulled but what if we just... stay married? (Also stolen from F.R.I.E.N.D.S.)

#Pedro Pascal #Oscar Isaac #prompt list #writing prompts #sentence starters #friends to lovers #fanfic prompts #how did I do with the prompts? never done a list like this before!#and is this a good theme for an event or no?

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messrprcngs · 4 years

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AN ABUNDANCE OF PINING.

SUMMARY : bucky accidentally comes across fanfiction you wrote about him on tumblr. instead of being freaked out, he’s actually quite flattered, and asks to see more of your writing. he finds that there’s a common theme with almost everything you’ve written about him, but he’s too dense to realize why that is. PAIRING : bucky barnes x reader ( implied female, kind of ? ) WARNINGS : lots of pining, as that is a given. not really angst. FLUFF ! WORD COUNT : 5.2k. this now holds the title of ‘longest fic sophie’s written’ A/N : my first bucky barnes fic !! i hope you guys like it ! inifinity war and endgame ? never saw them, didn’t happen. the avengers are all happily alive and living in the complex together (but steve is retired so sam is still the new cap) and that’s final.

"bucky, can you grab my phone from my room?” you called out from the kitchen. “i need to check my texts again to make sure i didn’t ruin this first batch of muffins!”

"sure thing, doll!” he called back from the living room. you shivered at the nickname, which you scolded yourself for immediately after. he used it all the time; you should have been used to it by now. you weren’t.

you paused your stirring, listening for the squeak of leather that indicated that bucky had pushed himself up off the couch to go retrieve your phone for you. you heard it, followed by the so-faint-it-was-barely-audible padding of his feet on the hardwood, and went back to whipping up more batter for the next batch.

you were pretty certain that you hadn’t, in fact, completely ruined your first batch of muffins. you were a better baker than that! but the new recipe you’d just gotten for killer chocolate chip muffins came straight from your aunt, a downright marvelous baker, and you didn’t want to mess anything up; they had to be perfect.

which was precisely why your first batch, which you’d popped into the oven almost twenty minutes ago, consisted of only six muffins.

you hadn’t wanted to risk wasting all your ingredients only to find out that you’d forgotten one of the tips your aunt had given you and subsequently made your muffins taste subpar in comparison to hers.

you hummed to yourself as you stirred in more chocolate chips and waited for bucky to come back. your humming stretched on for what felt like forever, and yet still no bucky.

looking up at the timer above the stove, you found that it’d already been three minutes since you’d sent bucky to get your phone, which was strange. he knew where your room was because you lived on the same floor, which was only two floors above where you were now; it wasn’t like it was hard to get there and back. besides, he had super long legs and didn’t run out of breath quickly. what the hell was taking him so long?

you took the rubber spatula you were using to smooth the batter out and set it on top of the bowl before peaking your head out into the living room from the kitchen. what you found surprised you: bucky, standing in the middle of the room, scrolling through your phone and staring down at whatever he was doing intently.

it wasn’t the simple act of him going through your phone that surprised - and confused - you. you were best friends (a title he’d been quick to assure you had more than enough room for both you and steve), after all; he knew your passcode by heart, and you his, though you generally didn’t fiddle with his phone, seeing as he still wasn’t very familiar with modern day technology and wouldn’t know how to undo anything you changed. no, you were surprised because he hadn’t come into the kitchen to make sure you checked what you needed to before stealing your phone away from you. he always made sure you checked your phone before stealing it away from you. something about this didn’t add up.

“bucky?” you asked, and his head snapped up so quickly it gave you the impression that you’d startled him. “whatchya doin’? i need my phone to check the recipe.”

he rolled his eyes. “please, doll, i’m sure you got the recipe right. when have you not gotten a recipe right?”

you chose not to bring up the time you’d made oatmeal cookies for the team. no one needed to relive that experience.

“my phone, buck,” you whined instead, walking out into the living room.

“well, you see,” he started, and you raised an eyebrow, unsure where this was going. it was never good when bucky barnes started off a sentence with ‘well, you see’. “i actually found something pretty interesting on your phone when i opened it, y/n.”

“oh?” you said, trying to keep your voice steady, even as your lungs fell into your stomach and your heart jumped up into your throat. you hoped he wasn’t talking about what you thought he was talking about. you tried to think back to what app you’d been using before coming down to bake, if you’d closed it, if you’d clicked out of it at all or not. you didn’t remember closing it or clicking out of it, but you sure did remember what app you’d been on: tumblr.

bucky hummed in affirmation. “yep. you were open to some wonderful writing, doll.”

you gulped. oh god, he found it. “really?”

bucky tried to suppress a smile as he said, “mhm. really wonderful writing. about me.” you wanted to die. he knew. god, this was a mess. “and i know i don’t really know anythin’ about the internet, but i know enough to’ve figured out that the account it was on is yours, huh, doll?”

you knew that you weren’t really bright red right now, but you definitely felt bright red. your face was burning, and your fingers were throbbing with the force of the heat rolling down your neck and into your arms. this was a mess. bucky had found the fanfiction you’d written about him. he probably figured out that you were in love with him just from reading it, too, and was bringing it up with you now to tell you that he was both utterly creeped out and didn’t love you the way he’d discovered you desperately wanted him to.

“i, i, uh - erm -” you stammered, blinking up at him rapidly to keep the tears that were pricking at the backs of your eyes at bay. “i . . . i’m really sorry, bucky.”

you lowered your head and cast your eyes downward, feeling like a child who had just been severely scolded - except this was worse, because bucky, your best friend and the man you were in love with, had just found the one thing you never wanted him to find.

“why’re you sorry, doll? the writing’s good!” you snapped your head up immediately at that, wincing from the force of the movement.

“it’s what?” you asked, incredulous.

“it’s good, doll,” he repeated. he seemed sincere. “though i don’t remember secretly pining over anyone named ‘whyenn’.”

despite the horrifying situation you were in, you couldn’t help but laugh at how he pronounced ‘y/n’. bucky let a grin slowly take over his face at the sound of your laughter.

“that’s because it’s fanfiction, buck. nothing i wrote about in whatever piece of mine you read actually happened,” you told him. you knew he knew what fanfiction was because of the time he’d caught you crying over a deamus fic and you’d had to explain what it was to him. you’d never told him anything about reader insert fanfiction, though - for a very good reason. that reason being, of course, because it was the kind of fanfiction you wrote.

“i figured,” he said. “but i had no idea that anyone would want to write fanfiction about me. or that you were such a great writer, y/n.”

the panic that was tearing at the inside of your chest subsided a bit, both because of his compliment and because he was taking this whole thing very well considering he clearly knew how you felt about him now and clearly didn’t feel the same way.

“a lot of people want to write fanfiction about you, bucky,” you told him. “you’re kind of a big thing on sites that are popular for fanfiction. so’s the rest of the team.” why were you telling him this? oh, that’s right: because you just never knew when to shut up.

both of bucky’s eyebrow’s raised at that. “oh really?” he was still grinning. “do you write stuff about the rest of the team, too?”

you looked away. “sometimes, yeah. but you can’t tell them!” you conveniently failed to mention that it was generally only when your readers sent in requests for something with another member of the team that you wrote for them.

“i mostly write stuff about you, though,” you added, before you could stop yourself. god, how you wanted the floor to tear open and swallow you whole right then.

“yeah?” the amusement was plain in bucky’s voice. “i won’t tell them, but am i your favorite member of the team, doll?”

you moved your eyes back to his before saying earnestly, “you are, bucky. really. it’s easiest to write things about you. because you’re my best friend,” you added quickly. maybe if you said it enough, you could distract him from the fact he’d discovered that you saw him as much, much more than just a best friend.

“easier to write about me?” he echoed, cocking his head to right like an adorable puppy.

“well, yeah,” you said, avoiding his eyes again. “i know you. i know how you talk and how you react to things and how sweet and caring and lovable you are. i know how much time it took for you to get to where you are now, to be in a place where you’re not constantly sad and . . . and terrified. i know everything about you, buck. it’s easy to translate that into writing.”

your eyes met again as you finished, and for a terribly drawn out moment, it appeared as if you’d rendered him speechless.

“wow, doll,” he breathed finally, his eyes soft. “i don’t know what to say other than i love you.”

now it was your turn to be left speechless. “i, you - what? do you really?” you tried not to get your hopes up, but it was hard when bucky was standing in front of you, looking so at ease and so, so breathtakingly beautiful.

for a second you thought you’d seen bucky’s eyes widen ever so slightly, but you blinked and they were normally sized once again, and bucky’s brow had furrowed. “well yeah,” he said. “you’re my best friend - of course i love you.”

you swallowed all that hope and let it sink miserably down to the pit of your stomach. of course. of course that was what he meant. you knew that you’d just said the same thing, but how could he say that he loved you when he clearly knew how you felt. unless . . .

no. you couldn’t entertain the thought that maybe he hadn’t realized just how much you loved him. it was glaringly obvious in everything you wrote about him. bucky was smart; there was no way he hadn’t figured it out.

you opened your mouth as if to speak, though you had no idea what to say. luckily, though, bucky cut in before it could become obvious to him that you weren’t, in fact, going to say anything. “do you mind if i read some more?”

“you - if you . . . what?”

“read more, doll,” he said again, smiling. “your writing’s good! i want to read more of it.”

“you want to read more . . . of my fanfiction . . . about you?” you asked, disbelieving. he laughed at the look on your face.

“yes, doll. that’s exactly what i want.”

you shifted your weight from one leg to the other uneasily. did you really want to let him read more of your writing? you knew if you said no, he’d respect your decision and leave it alone. but where was the harm, really? he’d already read one piece of yours, a one shot, probably. bucky was always sweet and kind, and thankfully hadn’t mentioned the painfully obvious: that you were very, incredibly, wholeheartedly in love with him. what else did you have to lose?

“sure, buck,” you said hesitantly. you couldn’t believe you were agreeing to this. “you can read more of what i wrote.”

bucky gave a cheerful shout, and you couldn’t help but smile; his happiness was contagious, even in the most minute of ways.

“BUT,” you added, matching his volume momentarily before taking it back down. “i need my phone back to check on this recipe first.”

bucky rolled his eyes, but handed you your phone anyway. “fine,” he said, a mock pout gracing his lips.

you unlocked your phone and quickly clicked out of tumblr before you could rethink your decision. you opened your texts as you turned around and made your way back to the kitchen, bucky following close behind. you scrolled through the conversation with your aunt to find the tips she’d given you, and mentally checked off the ones you’d done as you went down the list.

when you were finished, all the tips had been mentally checked off, and you smiled, pleased with yourself. you turned to face bucky, who was already looking at you expectantly, and handed him back your phone.

though he looked like he wanted to run off right then and there with the device, he stayed a moment to ask, “so? did you do everything right?”

you nodded, the little proud smile still on your face. he grinned at you. “see, what’d i tell you, doll?” he said. “now if you’ll excuse me, i’ll be in the living room, reading.” he turned on his heel and walked briskly out of the kitchen.

you sighed and let yourself lean against the counter. hopefully this wouldn’t blow up in your face.

twenty minutes later and your first batch of muffins were cooling on top of the stove as you popped two more full sheets into the oven.

when you were finished, you wiped your hands on a dish towel and inhaled a deep, deep breath, before letting the air out in a heavy sigh. your next batch of muffins wouldn’t be done for another 40 minutes, and there was no need to make more batter, because you already had plenty ready for the third batch (because lord knows the team wouldn’t be satisfied with just twenty-four chocolate chip muffins).

your only other option was to go out into the living room and face bucky.

setting the dish towel down and steeling yourself, you walked out into the living room, where you found bucky sitting on one of the couches, fully engrossed in whatever he was reading on your phone (or rather, which of your fanfictions he was reading on your phone, you reminded yourself).

as you drew closer, you were able to make out fading tear tracks on bucky’s cheeks, and you nearly choked on your own spit. had he found the rest of your writing so horrible that he’d cried over it?

bucky tore his eyes away from the screen like it was the hardest thing he had ever had to do and looked up at you, his wide eyes full of a peculiar mix of heartbreak and wonder, with a dash of something you couldn’t quite place.

“how could you kill her, y/n?” was the first thing he said to you, his voice very close to a whimper. he looked absolutely devastated.

while you knew he had to be talking about something you’d written, you couldn’t help but say, “what?” in response.

“you killed her,” bucky said, as if that cleared everything up. “you killed her when i’d just gotten her back and, and - and i promised to marry her, y/n! marry her! and you still killed her! how could you do this to me, y/n?”

you blinked. “bucky,” you said, very slowly, “are you talking about 'good grief’?”

“‘am i talking about ‘good grief’’,” bucky mimicked. “of course i’m talking about ‘good grief’! what else would i be talking about?”

‘good grief’ was a series you were in the middle of working on, with a central plot point - and the series title - coming from bastille’s song of the same name. it was an au in which bucky hadn’t been taken by hydra, and it was one of your best-written pieces in your own opinion. it appeared that bucky thought so, too, if he was getting this worked up about the reader insert’s apparent death.

“so i take it you like it, then?”

bucky straightened up. “like it?” he asked. “no, i don’t like it. i absolutely hate it!”

hearing that immediately made you feel sick. god, how stupid to were you to think that bucky would actually like what you’d written, whether he thought whatever he’d read first had been good or not. before you could say anything, bucky continued.

“my heart is broken! utterly and entirely shattered, doll. how could you do this to me? your writing is so, so, so . . .” he appeared as if he were struggling to find the right words. “gut-wrenchingly beautiful and my heart is real fuckin’ hurt, doll.”

you were startled by his outburst. “i - what? you think my writing’s beautiful?”

bucky rolled his eyes, suddenly exasperated. “yes, doll, i think your writing’s beautiful. it’s wonderful. how many times do i have to tell you that?”

“as many times as you’d like,” you said before you could stop yourself. you were rewarded by the quirking down of the corners of bucky’s lips that indicated he was trying to suppress a smile.

“then i’ll tell you all the time, y/n/n.”

“how . . . how much did you read?” you asked fiddling with your fingers as an excuse to not make eye contact.

“everything,” he said immediately, and you looked up, shocked. you hadn’t expected him to want to read your writing that much.

“er, everything about me,” he clarified. somehow, that was infinitely worse.

“oh,” was all you said as you went back to avoiding eye contact.

“actually, i had a question about your writing, doll.”

you looked up at that. “oh?” you gulped, preparing for the worst.

“yeah,” bucky said. “why is everything you write about me full of longing?”

you were stunned. “i - what?”

“well it’s just,” bucky continued, “that while i was reading, i noticed that the topic of pining is really prevalent in what you write about me. even when it’s not central to the plot, like in those - what are they called? ‘one shots’? yeah - one shots, you always mention pining and longing.”

you didn’t know what to say. you knew bucky, and you knew when he was genuinely asking a question he didn’t know the answer to (he wasn’t a very good actor). which was why you knew that his question was sincere, that he really had no idea why you included near-excessive pining in everything you wrote about him. had no idea that you included it because you were pining after him just as hopelessly as your reader inserts were.

and that meant . . . that meant that he really didn’t know that you were in love with him. he hadn’t been avoiding bringing it up to spare you the embarrassment; he hadn’t realized in the first place!

a huge wave of relief built up inside you, washing away the panic that was still tucked into your chest, but with it came an equally sized wave of disappointment. part of you, you supposed, had hoped that bucky would take you in his arms after reading the rest of your fanfiction and kiss you senseless before telling you that he’d always loved you just the same way you loved him. that he’d always been in love with you.

but of course, that was just a fantasy, too much like fanfiction to ever have a hope of becoming a reality.

you didn’t know what to say, but there bucky was, blinking up at you oh so innocently from his seat on the couch as he patiently waited for an answer, and so you said the only thing you could say: the truth.

“there’s so much . . . pining and longing because . . . i have a lot of experience with pining.”

well, as much of the truth as you could bear to reveal to him, anyway.

“but um, unlike . . . in my writing, the person i’m pining after doesn’t love me back.”

maybe it was a trick of the light, but you could have sworn something dark and hurting passed over bucky’s eyes when you said that, but a second later the look was gone. instead, bucky was cocking his head to the side as his brow furrowed. “what do you mean, doll?”

you sighed. “i mean,” you started as you sat down next to him on the couch, “exactly what i said. i love someone, but they don’t love me back.” you paused and thought for a moment before continuing. “well, i shouldn’t say that. i know he loves me. but just . . . not the way i want him to.”

when you’d sat down, your eyes had focused themselves on the edge of the accent rug that lay in front of the couch, and as you lifted them to meet bucky’s after your pseudo-confession, you found his whole body turned towards you.

bucky was still sporting that confused look on his face when he said, “how could anyone not love you like that?” so soft and breathless, as if he hadn’t meant to say it out loud at all. his eyes searched your face as if he were looking for an answer to his question and all you could do was stare at him, silent and frozen.

god, if he kept this stuff up, you were going to explode from all the yearning that was building up inside of you.

bucky’s gaze connected with yours again, and it was as if something in your eyes had snapped him out of whatever haze he’d been in, because a millisecond later he was looking away and clearing his throat.

“so that’s why -” he said, as if whatever had just happened hadn’t happened, “- you write in so much pining when you’re writing about me?”

god, he was so clueless. and as much as you wanted to tell him that the person you were in love with was him, that it would always be him because he was strong and brave and kind and so, so breathtakingly beautiful, you couldn’t bring yourself to do it. you didn’t think you could stand to be in the same room with him ever again if you told him and he smiled that pretty smile at you, all soft and sweet and pitiful, right before letting you down gently and saying that he’d always want you as his best friend no matter what happened. which really fucking sucked, because you didn’t know what you’d do without bucky.

“yeah,” you said. “like i said, it’s just . . . so much easier to write things when they’re about you. easier to . . . transfer my feelings to someone else when that someone else is . . . you.” you winced at the lie, but if bucky noticed, he didn’t mention it.

in fact, he was quiet for what felt like a long, long time before looking up at you and saying, “well, doll, whoever this guy is, he’s an idiot for not loving you. for not being in love with you.”

you gave him a soft smile that was tinged with melancholy. “thanks, buck.”

he nodded. “who is he?”

“what?” you hadn’t expected that. you probably should have, though, given how much bucky cared about your life and your feelings, but the extent to which he cared still surprised you sometimes; you didn’t really think you deserved it.

“who is he?” bucky repeated, eyes alight with curiosity and that other emotion you still couldn’t name. “i want to know who the guy is that’s got my best friend all hopelessly in love.”

“i . . . don’t know, buck . . .”

“you don’t want to tell me?”

“it’s not that i . . . don’t want to tell you, i just . . .” you were lost, searching for anything to say that would get bucky to lay off. “i don’t like thinking about it, is all.”

for some reason, that seemed to anger bucky. “oh, so you can think about it when you use it for writing inspiration all you want, but when your best friend wants to know, you suddenly can’t bring yourself to think about it? is that it?” he asked, eyes suddenly cold.

“no, that’s not it,” you tried to assure him, though you knew that that was exactly what you were implying. “bucky, it’s alright. it’s just a friend. you don’t know him.”

this just angered him all the more.

“i know all your friends, though, y/n. are you telling me you’re hiding this fella away from me, doll?” he asked with furrowed eyebrows and that cold, hard stare. “too afraid he won’t like me? or too afraid he won’t like you when he finds out just how well you really know me?”

you were shocked by bucky’s questions. where had this come from?

“what? absolutely not. i’m not ashamed of you, bucky.”

“oh, aren’t you?” he snapped.

you stared at him from where you were on the edge of the couch, incredulous. how could he think that you were ashamed of him?

“no, i’m NOT, bucky. and besides, it’s none of your business! you don’t have to know all of my friends!”

“as your best friend, it is my business! but haha, right, i can’t really be your best friend if you’re ashamed of me!”

“bucky barnes, i AM NOT ASHAMED OF YOU! how could i ever be ashamed of you? i love you!” you were barely containing yourself then, and had to force your voice down after it’d gotten far louder than you’d wanted it to.

bucky, though, it seemed, either didn’t have the same control that you did or simply didn’t care, because the next thing you knew he was shouting, “then TELL ME WHO HE IS!”

“LEAVE IT ALONE, BUCKY,” you yelled back, propelling yourself off the couch so you could match his volume.

a second later and bucky was on his own feet, too, right in front of you. “NO! I WANT TO KNOW!”

“WHY CAN’T YOU JUST LEAVE IT ALONE, JAMES?”

“BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!” he roared.

as quickly as it had come, your anger vanished. and suddenly, as if it had been the only thing keeping you up, your whole body sagged. all of the anger that had been overflowing inside of you had left you thoroughly exhausted, and your outrage at bucky’s own outrage was quickly replaced by a growing sense of disbelief. he’d told you he loved you before, of course - he’d said it near the beginning of your conversation! - but there was something in his voice, something in the way he said it, that made you think he meant it differently this time. that he meant it the way you did.

“wha - what?”

“i love you. i’m in love with you.”

there were tears stinging the backs of your eyes as you said, in a voice barely above a whisper, “don’t play with me, bucky.” you were looking up at him, eyes wide and equal parts hopeful and horrified.

“i’m not playing with you,” came bucky’s reply, his own voice soft. “i would never play with you like that, doll.”

you searched his eyes, which were glossed over with unshed tears the same way you knew yours were, and found only sincerity in his intense stare. sincerity, and that something else you’d seen before, which you were recognizing now as . . . adoration. still, you couldn’t believe what you were hearing.

“but, bucky, i’m . . .”

“in love with someone else? i know. i figured as much when i read everything you wrote.” he looked away and stepped back.

“you what?” it seemed that all you’d been asking today was ‘what?’

“knew you were in love with someone else when i was reading all that stuff you wrote about me. there’s no way you would’ve been writing all that yearning crap with me originally in mind, doll. i know that. and yet, i . . . i couldn’t stop thinking about that whyenn character being you.”

you stared at him. and stared, and stared, and stared. you felt the tears dripping down your face, but didn’t move to wipe them away. instead, you continued to stare, until finally bucky looked up at you, looking as devastated as you’d ever seen him.

“you’re so dense, bucky. oblivious. a moron. an absolute imbecile,” you whispered.

for a moment, anger flashed across bucky’s face as his eyebrows furrowed, before being replaced by an even deeper hurt. “god, doll, i know you don’t feel that way about me, but you don’t have to -”

“i lied,” you said quickly, cutting him off. “i lied. it’s not someone you don’t know. i’m not in love with someone you don’t know, buck.”

bucky blinked. “listen, doll, i really don’t want to hear about how you’re actually in love with steve or sam and just wrote stuff about me in case they -”

“jesus, bucky, i’m talking about you!” you cried. “i’m in love with you!”

bucky’s mouth dropped open, and all he could do is stare at you. “i - you - what?”

“i’m in love with you, and i have been for so, so long. else c’mon, buck. why else would i write all that ‘yearning crap' about you?”

bucky, still gaping like a fish, said, “i don’t . . . i mean, it never occurred to me that you could . . . actually think of me like that . . .”

“and i thought you knew! i thought you’d figured it out the second i realized what you were reading! it was so obvious!”

bucky huffed. “clearly not obvious enough.”

a huffed laugh spilled past your lips. “you’re so oblivious.”

bucky gave you a small, sweet smile as he took a step closer to you. “so you’ve said, doll.”

you stood there, silently staring into each others eyes until: “can i kiss you, doll?” bucky’s voice was cautious and impossibly soft, and positively it made you melt.

“of course,” you whispered, and as soon as the words had left your lips he was there, his lips on yours as his hands came up to cradle your face gently. your eyes slid closed, and you moved your hands up to get a grip his shirt and pull him closer. you could hardly think straight because of how good finally getting to kiss bucky felt, but one thought kept running through your head as if on loop: his lips felt absolutely perfect on yours. like he was made for you.

the two of you broke away for air, and as your eyes fluttered open and met his, something else was clear in your jumbled brain: bucky barnes had effectively ruined you for anyone else.

the spell that you were under was broken, though, when bucky wrapped his arms around your waist and said, “all those feelings you wrote into your fanfiction were about me. that sure is a lot of pining and longing for one person, doll.”

“oh, shut up!”

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tigerlilyhasablog · 4 years

Photo

Life During the Apocalypse

Hello darlings! Hope everyone is doing well… Hope you all are safe, healthy and not going too crazy if you are in self isolation. Since I’m stuck in the house with quite a bit of extra time, I’d like to try to blog a bit more than usual. I thought it would be kind of fun to share with you what I have been up to at home, so enjoy: The Day in the Life of a Quarantined Teen.🙃

Remote school

First for the dull stuff. My university moved to remote learning the week of March 6th, and while they originally said it would be “until further notice”, they have since announced that it will be like this for the rest of the semester. It’s definitely more boring than going to class, and I miss going to school and seeing people, but I don’t mind it that much. It’s kinda funny, ’cause I was homeschooled for most of my life, up until college, so doing this is like going back to the old days of being homeschooled. 🙂 Right now I’m actually on Spring Break, so this week I’m mainly just chillin’.

What I’ve been watching

I’ve been meaning to get Disney+ for eons now, but never got around to it. My sister and I decided that hey, what better time than now? The very first thing that we watched was High School Musical… Don’t judge me.😂 Somehow I had gone through life never having watched this iconic piece of pop culture, but I decided it was time to amend that. What can I say: it is equal amounts completely terrible and utterly amazing.

Finally watched The Mandalorian as well, which is really, genuinely good. I feel so-so about most Star Wars stuff – I don’t dislike it, but I don’t love it – but damn, I got into this show immediately. The way that they’ve made it like a Western? So good. The characters, the visuals, the storyline… 👌🏻 And yes, I would die for Baby Yoda.

Once we finished that season, we began on Agent Carter, and we just finished the first season last night. I felt so-so about it for like, the first two episodes, but after that I got really into it and like, damn, it’s really good! Two thumbs up from me.

Other than Disney, the only other thing that I’ve watched recently is The Miseducation of Cameron Post. It’s been on my want-to-watch list for a while now, and the other day my school gave me access to a site with a bunch of free films on it, one of which was this movie, which I was really excited about. Fuck, it was good. Really hit hard, Chloe Grace Moretz was incredible, as was the rest of the cast, just a really powerful story of course. I liked the indie feel of the whole thing… Sometimes you can just tell, you know? The 90s aesthetic was also great.

What I’ve been listening to

Being stuck in the house has giving me lots of opportunity to listen to music basically all of the time, so let me share some of the stuff I have been loving right now:

Conan Gray’s Kid Krow – I am really loving this album. It is packed with bops, as well as some fantastic sad-boi songs. I’ve liked Conan’s stuff for a bit now, but in a rather passive way… Now I would say that my fan-ness (not a word, I know) has been solidified.

Ed Sheeran – let me introduce you to the little underground indie artist I’ve recently discovered. Haha. It’s kinda funny that I’ve gotten so into Ed lately, cuz I mean, of course I’ve listened to his stuff for a while now. But like, I guess I’ve never delved very deep into his discography? But lately I’ve been listening to the entirety of each of his albums, and I’m a little obsessed. Guess I should have believed the hype sooner, huh?

Alec Benjamin – someone else who I’ve been into for quite a while, but who I’ve been listening to even more lately. His songs have made their way onto “Music of the Month” a couple times already, and I’ll tell you right now that he’s on there this month, too. 🙂 I don’t think he has a single bad song. I have tickets to see him in May, provided corona doesn’t fuck that up, and I’m really excited!

Lauv’s Modern Loneliness – bops. bops. bops. What else can I say? Bops.

Foster the People – ok, this band has such nostalgia for me. Torches was like, all that I listened to in like 2012/13. I hadn’t really listened to them lately, and hadn’t really explored their more recent stuff. But the other day I put on their Spotify playlist and had a dance party to them all afternoon and it made me so fucking happy.

What else I’ve been up to

Spending way too much time on the internet – gotta go ahead and get this one out of the way. I’d love to say that I’ve been super productive and learned a ton of new things and been really creative, but if I’m entirely honest, what I’ve really done is wasted a ton of time on YouTube/Tumblr/TikTok.😬

Drawing – I have gotten some stuff done though! I haven’t used this time for art as much as I’d like, but I’ve been sketching some, and also been playing around with a drawing app… I’ve always been a pencil-and-paper person, but doing it digitally is kinda fun!

My latest project? A vine compilation, of course.😂 Here is the beginnings of it:

Making music – again, not as much as I should be, but I’ve been playing the guitar and singing quite a bit. I’ve been doing it in a very relaxed, just-singing-what-i-want-to kind of way, which is nice. I guess I’ll use this opportunity to plug my Soundcloud (which I rarely post on, oops.)

Working out – I always exercise pretty regularly, but I’ve decided that this is the perfect opportunity to ramp it up a bit. My family and I have been going on walks every day, since that’s the only way we can get out, and I’ve been doing the Chloe Ting 2 Week Shred Challenge. It’s fucking tough, but I’m very excited about getting in shape.

Texting for the Bernie Sanders team – this has been fun! It’s a super-easy way to get involved in a campaign… I’d love to say I could make calls, and I hope to eventually, but it makes me really nervous. But texting is something anyone can do! Basically all campaigns have moved online, so if you have some extra time on your hands, get involved from home, either in a political campaign or something on the activism side of things! You can text, call, do stuff with social media… do it!

Catching up with friends – this one is smaller in terms of how much I’ve been doing it, but I’d just like to remind you that this is a great time to text or call someone you haven’t spoken to in a while. I know I often feel weird about just contacting someone out of the blue, but in a strange time such as this I think it is the perfect opportunity to check in with someone and see how they are holding up. Even though we can’t see each other in person, we’ve got to stick together in this tough time and keep up our relationships in a long-distance fashion.

Final thoughts

Okay, that’s all for now! It’s looking like this whole situation is gonna last for a while, so maybe I’ll make another one of these in a few weeks and let you know what else I’ve been up to! I’d just like to end with a little thought: if you are stuck at home and bored and going a little stir-crazy, please remember that we are privileged to be in this situation. There are some people for whom this means that they are out of work, desperate, scared. There are others who are older or immunocompromised who know that getting the virus could be a matter of life or death. Others are not able to work from home and have no choice but to go out every day and risk getting infected. And others have been forced to go home and be quarantined with abusive family members. Even though this is tough for everyone, if your main problem is that you are bored, make sure you put it into perspective and be grateful that that is your biggest worry.

I hope that didn’t sound preachy, but I just think we have to remember that it could be a lot worse. Now, stay safe, stay healthy, and for fuck sake, don’t go out unless you have to. ❤️

#personal #blogging #self isolation #coronavirus #quarantine #my life #disney #the mandalorian #agent carter #high school musical #conan gray #ed sheeran #alec benjamin #lauv #foster the people #bernie #bernie2020 #bernie sanders

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vertanimeni · 4 years

Text

the ice will start to break, the day will fade away (12/18)

Summary:

“Have you heard? The Elephant of Caocin has committed high treason!”

From Trikru’s most reputable war hero to Trikru’s most wanted traitor, Kova found themselves stripped of their titles and trapped between a clan that wants them dead and a camp of invaders - the same ones who kidnapped and tortured their brother.

But Kova was willing to do anything to stay alive and keep their family together.

Pairing: Bellamy Blake/Grounder OC

Word Count: 5,450

TW: Virus/Illness, vomiting, blood, explosives

A/N: I’m... actually being decent w the schedule for once... LOL wow~ If you’re reading through my blog, the read more does not show up due to Tumblr’s new formatting, so please click on the post itself. As of right now, I will be updating every Friday at 4pm EST.

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xii. implosion.

The group entered the dropship. Finn, with Clarke in his arms, made a beeline straight for Wells, who prepped a bed for her.

"What do I have to do to stop you from coming in here?" Her question was but a murmur.

"Get better."

"If he's not sick by now then he's probably immune, like me." Octavia assured her leader. "The virus doesn't last long, either." She added casually and let Murphy and Wells dominate the conversation while she dragged Kova into a private corner. None of the others noticed — too preoccupied with Clarke and the new information.

"Did you know?" She asked when the two were finally alone.

"Know what?" They sat crisscrossed on an empty crate.

"Where do I begin?" With every point, she ticked off a finger. "The virus; Lincoln leaving to 'east of the sea and across it,' or whatever; the—" She cut herself off, lowered her voice, and leaned in close, "—the upcoming attack?"

Needless to say, she had connected a few dots on her way back to camp after her conversation with Lincoln. If she recalled correctly, Kova had returned in the dead of night, and woke up late the next morning. But didn't they have enough time to at least warn somebody? Even herself?

"Lincoln and I talked a lot that night, and when I returned, I was already tired. The next morning Bellamy woke me up to find you and I ended up having to take care of the sick here. It just slipped my mind." Kova leaned in. "Besides, if I did say anything, he and Clarke would know I sneaked out. I can't risk that, either." 'Well, now Bellamy and Miller know, but still.' Pausing, they leaned back and eyed the young woman for a second, a hint of hope in their eyes. "Are you leaving with us?"

"Leaving?"

"East of the sea and across. Floukru. Will you come?"

"…Lincoln wants me to."

"That didn't answer my question."

"You're going?"

"…If Clan Leader Luna gives me permission, then yes." It took only a brief moment of doubt where they had considered their words carefully. They weren't sure to what extent Octavia knew about their relationship with Trikru. But then Octavia's eyes glinted with curiosity—

"Kova," Finn interrupted suddenly, completely unaware of the tension between the two, "how much time do you think we have until the virus passes?"

While they were just as taken aback as Octavia was, Kova couldn't help but think, 'Ah, Finn, perfect timing. I'll have to burn some bud for him in thanks.' "It's a light strain, so a day or two more, maybe? Three at most." They replied.

“They need to stay hydrated.” Clarke’s voice rasped out from afar, catching Finn's attention.

"You need to stay hydrated." Rolling his eyes, Finn almost rushed back to her side, but Wells signaled that he had it covered. He turned back to the two and said, "If we had more time to recover from the virus, then we could fight back. We just need to slow them down. Come with me, let's go talk to Raven.” He left no room for argument and rushed past the curtains.

The two stared at empty air for a moment until Kova broke the silence. "Let's talk about this later."

Octavia pursed her lips but conceded, and the two followed Finn to a tent on the other side of the camp. Just as he pulled back flap of the door, the three heard Raven’s voice in the middle of her sentence. “—need as many rounds done by dawn as we can.”

“It won’t matter if there’s no one left who can shoot.” Finn cut in just as the three entered.

Inside, Raven stood behind a desk scattered with empty bullet shells and powder. She refused to even look at Finn, but welcomed Octavia and Kova; Bellamy and Monty leaned over a corner of the desk with a map; and to Kova's surprise, Jasper and Harper stood off to the side, shifting uncomfortably when the two noticed their presence.

Finn continued, "What do we need to build a bomb?”

Pop! went the joints in Kova's neck as they whirled on Finn, a disgusted and betrayed look on their face. They stepped back, almost tripping over the wiring of the tent. 'Finn, what the actual fuck?' They thought, and because they were never one to hold back, they said, "Finn, what the fuck?"

"Wait. Hear me out." Finn held up his hands in a placating manner. "Murphy said he crossed a bridge on his way back from the grounders’ camp. Sounds familiar?”

Their eyes softened from the sharp glare they held. While they understood what he meant, they really wish he had given them a heads up beforehand.

“Is that the only bridge around here?” Bellamy switched his gaze from the hastily made map to Kova.

“It is.” They confirmed. “Ankon bridge is the only one that connects TonDC to the rest of Trikru territory the fastest, since the forest and the river get in the way. There's another bridge far down the river, but if the warriors are planning to come though Ankon, it'll be a major setback to change their plans to the other bridge."

“The virus is fast. Murphy is already getting better and Kova thinks it’ll pass within a few days. Blowing up the bridge won’t stop the attack, but the longer we delay it, the more of us will be able to fight.”

Kova couldn't hide the flinch at the mere thought of blowing up the bridge. Not only will it be a major setback, but the residents of TonDC, Fort Nauk, and other surrounding villages will end up suffering for it. Especially the merchants.

"Even if Murphy is telling the truth — and that’s a big if — that bridge has survived a nuclear war and 97 years of weather. What do you think, Raven?”

Everyone turned to the mechanic. She paused for a moment, considering the many different ways to build a bomb before it hit her — the fuel from the Exodus ship. Her eyes sparked with sturdy confidence. “It won’t survive me. Everyone, out while I think. Get ready to head down to the Exodus site.”

Jasper and Harper were the first to leave, the former refusing to look anywhere near Kova's direction and the latter sending them a sharp glare. For the first time, Kova internally thanked Bell when he pulled Octavia out of the tent for a quick talk.

The grounder turned to the remaining two boys. "You finished with the fish?"

"Yup," Monty popped the p.

"Zoe and Drew were almost done when we left. I'm not sure who's cooking tonight, though." Finn spoke. Kova noted the subtle flinch of Raven's back turned towards the three.

"Got it. Nice work. I'll see you guys later, then."

Monty quickly said, "Sorry about Jasper, he's being a bit of a dumbass right now. Just give him time." Then, he and Finn left the tent.

The sound of metal clinking gently made Kova turn back to Raven and lean against one of the side tables in silence, mindlessly toying with one of the bullet shells, while Raven moved to work on the second desk with another map. Familiar, higher quality, with rough estimation marks at Mount Weather, the camp, a burial ground. They recognized it as the one Clarke had made when the delinquents first arrived—

A clatter and a huff caught their attention. Raven had dropped whatever she was working on and turned to Kova. "What do you want? Why are you still here?"

“What’s bothering you?”

“Excuse me?”

Being nosy with one of the few people in this camp who didn't hate them was the last thing Kova wanted to do, but they've gone on missions with people who had lingering issues from an argument right before, and it never ends well. 'Like Zoya and Zandara, when they had a fight right before our mission because Zandara thought Zoya had been stealing her food, but it had actually been their other roommate at the time.' While the memories had a tint of melancholy attached, internally, Kova didn't know whether to laugh or shiver with fear. 'That mission was the only blemish on their record.'

"Something is going on with you and Finn." Octavia had mentioned their strained relationship before, that almost everyone on camp thought he had been cheating on Raven with Clarke out of all people, but she didn't go in depth at the time, and right now, Kova really wished she had. "Do you want to talk about it?"

As if Kova had damaged the final piece of a dam on its last legs, Raven burst with a long rant. "My head still hurts when I crash landed on Earth and I'm kind of terrified of a concussion even though Clarke checked me out; I'm worried about what's gonna happen to the people on the Ark; I'm worried I'm gonna die in some war I never signed up for; and I came down here to be with the guy I've loved for years only to find out he's—?" She paused, her voice cracking. "He cheated on me? He cheated on me with Clarke, and wasn't even going to tell me about it. I had to find out myself. And I think he's still cheating, even though he says the opposite, and I—" She took a deep breath, her tense shoulders sagging. "There's a lot of things bothering me right now."

To be entirely truthful, Kova had actually expected Raven to tell them to leave her alone, or that she didn't want to talk about it, or maybe even tell them to fuck off. And while they were pleasantly surprised about the rant, they weren't going to interrupt or stop her.

She continued, “And today when Clarke passed out, Finn just caught her without hesitating! He risked his entire life for her and didn’t even think twice about it! The last time he did that was for me on the Ark, and…" Her voice trembled, and the first tears dropped and gathered at her chin. "As much as I don't want to admit this, but I think I lost him the moment he came down here. I just don't know what to do."

"Did she know?"

"What?"

"Did Clarke know that you and him were in a relationship?"

"I…" Raven recalled the sky leader's surprised face when she kissed Finn, how heartbroken she looked. "I don't think so."

"So he didn't tell Clarke about your relationship, and he didn't tell you about his relationship with her. That's on him. As much as I hate to say it, you're right. You probably lost him the moment he came down here. If he has fallen for her, there’s not much you can do about it now.” While their words felt harsh, they tried to speak as gently as they could. Raven wiped her face with the back of her hands. They weren't one to give out advice like this, but if it reeled Raven back from those types of thoughts, they didn't mind. “I'm not sure if you're angry at Clarke, but regardless, there's no point in fighting over some boy, especially one who isn’t giving you the love and appreciation you deserve, and you deserve much better than that.”

“He’s the only one I have.” It was a weak argument, and Raven's jarring quiet voice showed that.

“Then you need more people on your side." They purposely made eye contact and said, "Fuck him.”

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Obtaining the hydrazine from the Exodus ship wasn't as hard as Raven expected, and pouring it into a mason jar was even less. Like any responsible scientist/mechanic, Raven wore a suit — the same one she came down to Earth with — but once she sealed the jar closed and set it safely on the desk, she took it off and addressed the people waiting outside her tent. "Alright, you can come in now."

Bellamy entered the tent first, Kova following close behind—

Two hands grabbed the sides of their arms. "Boom!"

If they jumped and busted the top of their head on the overhanging lamp, that was their business and theirs only. They tried to play off the spook by clearing their throat, but that only made Raven cackle. Even Bellamy couldn't hide his snort.

Then Finn entered, and Raven's mood soured slightly. She dropped her hands from Kova's shoulders, trying to play it off as nothing and said, "You guys can relax, it needs an accelerant.” Then, she got into business on how the bomb needed to be built and placed on the bridge. “To be safe, you need to be at least 200 feet away to make the shot and not get injured.”

“Feet? Imperial system?” Kova's question was implied — 'Why use the Imperil system?'

“It’s the measuring system we used on the Ark.” Finn explained. “What do you use?”

“The metric system. We’re not animals.” They refused to acknowledge the smirk on Bellamy's face. "Does the distance you calculated include traumatic force?”

“It should.”

Bellamy laid out the billion dollar question. "Alright, who plants the bomb?"

The silence lasted well under a minute, but long enough to feel like an hour. Finn finally stepped up, and Bellamy dragged him to the map to discuss how to go about it.

Meanwhile, Raven and Kova stood side by side, speaking lowly as to not attract attention.

"So he hesitates when it comes to a bomb, with everyone's lives on the line, but not with Clarke? You see what I'm talking about right? I'm not crazy?"

"No, you're right. I get what you mean."

“Finn, we only have one bomb.” Bellamy’s voice brought both of them back to the conversation at hand, but Kova turned around and organized the bullet shells on the table, keeping their back to the others. “We need to use it to kill as many of them as possible.”

“But they don’t know we only have one bomb.” Finn argued. “If we did, why would we waste it on a bridge? It’s supposed to be a deterrent. Peace through strength.”

“The appearance of strength, you mean.” Raven countered, ignoring the look he sent to her.

“The men who built the bombs thought they were peacemakers too. How’d that work out for them?”

“They were scientists, Bellamy." They turned, eyes lowered on the bullet shell they held. "They knew exactly what they were doing while building those bombs, they definitely knew they weren’t peacemakers. They just did it for the money.” Looking up, Kova's eyes widened, face blanching, and they dropped the shell. "Shit.”

Before he could ask, warmth trailed down from his nose to his philtrum. He pressed the back of his hand underneath his nose and grimaced. "Great."

“Don’t touch anything.”

“Who else can take a shot?”

“Appreciate the concern.” His usual snark felt weak. A heavy tiredness fell over Bellamy's body like a weighted blanket, so suddenly that his head felt fuzzy. He could barely muster the energy to glare at Finn. Instead, he stumbled towards the exit. “Just make sure the bomb is packed and ready to go in ten minutes, I’ll go find someone.”

“Wait, Bellamy!” Kova called out, but he already left. "Shit, he's only going to hurt himself like that. I'll bring him to the dropship — I'll see you two later, don't die and don't get hurt!"

"Kova—!"

"Wait—!"

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On the Ark, there had been a few rounds of the common cold and the like running around. It was hard to avoid getting sick once there was an outbreak — the quarters were too close to one another, people ate together, shared their drinks, etc, etc. Back then, everyone had to self-isolate, and those sick had to deal with a stuffy nose, running snot, and sometimes a fever for a week or two.

Those illnesses were a joke compared to whatever the fuck this virus was.

The nosebleed was just a breaking point to the onslaught of other symptoms that racked Bellamy's body. The dizziness popped up in the tent and only grew worse when he reached the campfire, the flicks of the flames staining his eyesight. He thought he might have snapped at the friends Jasper was with, but that didn't matter right now. Right now, all that mattered was getting Jasper to do the job. After making sure Jasper was at least six feet away from him, he explained what the group discussed at the tent.

Later on in the dropship, once the fever broke, Bellamy will stare into the metal ceiling and wonder what exactly did he say to Jasper that made him blanch and shake so much.

“Take the shot. You can't miss, or we’ll all die.” Once the words were out of Bellamy's mouth, it wasn't his problem anymore. He grew more delirious with every passing second, but one coherent thought made its way through. 'Dropship.'

Staggering rather than walking, he only made it three steps before the world abruptly turned white and his head felt staticky. Wind whooshed through his hair, in his rushing ears, cooling his heated and sweaty skin, and the side of his head bumped into metal before his body tilted towards the floor—

—Warm hands splayed across his back and the nape of his neck.

At first, he thought it might have been Jasper who caught him, and he tried to push him away. But then his hands landed on strong shoulders and thick arms, and even through his delirium he thought, 'Muscles…not Jasper—?'

A deep voice, surprisingly gentle for its owner, confirmed his thoughts. "Relax. It's me."

The whiteness cleared up from the edges and inward to reveal a blurry Kova-shaped blob. They tried pushing him back on his feet, but his legs and arms shook under his weight, and with another whoosh of the wind, Bellamy found himself being carried bridal style, an arm against the back of his sticky, sweat-soaked shirt, another arm beneath the back of his equally sweaty knees.

His mouth felt dry, although he wasn't sure if it was from the fever or—

Kova's cold glare fixated past him. He followed their line of sight to Jasper, who had stepped forward with his arm stretched out, as if he wanted to snatch his leader and run from the grounder. The last of Bellamy's energy went into holding up his hand in a placating manner. His voice was awfully raspy, but it got the job done. “I’ll be fine, go find Finn. Take the shot.”

Half reluctant, half relieved, the boy ran off.

"By the Gods, Bellamy. What did you say to the kid? He looks even paler than you."

Too many words. Head too heated. Bellamy thought he internally groaned, but it seemed as if he did this externally, given that Kova hushed him (gently, to his surprise). Later on, while staring at the metal ceiling of the dropship, his embarrassment over being carried so easily in such a way will turn into a frustration he had never felt before, and he'll end up kicking his legs against the bed in anger, much to the distaste of the other patients around him.

But for now, his neck lolled around, energy finally giving out, and black spots dotted the edges of his vision. Just before he closed his eyes, he heard them murmur, "Don't worry, I got you."

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"…tavia!"

The frantic call of her name came from outside the dropship. The young woman in question raised her head and settled the bowl of water next to the patient she had been looking after. A few seconds of silence passed, and Octavia thought she might have imagined it—

"Octavia!"

The sound of crunching leaves turned into metal thumps. She sprung into action and hurried to the curtains, yanking the fabric back—

Kova rushed inside, bending over slightly to avoid the curtains. It was only when they straightened did Octavia notice the body in their arms, the person's face buried in their neck and nose dripping dark blood against their skin, and automatically, she pointed to the open bed at the corner.

Then it hit her — the ruffled black hair, olive skin blanched and covered with a sheen of sweat, sprinkled with freckles and blood— "Bell, no…"

By the color of his face and the spasm of his throat, Kova realized he was about to vomit any second and quickly laid him on his side, and the moment his hip met the mattress, he vomited. Some caught on Kova's pants, but they paid little mind to it as they pushed the fringe of his hair back. "I'll go get him some water."

Octavia knelt on the opposite side and rubbed soothing circles against his back. "Okay. Thank you."

On their way, they heard a faint murmur of Bellamy's voice and Octavia's quiet, assuring tone. Distracted, they shoulder-checked a passerby. Kova turned to apologize, but paused when they found Murphy's back instead. Jaw tense, they prepared for whatever verbal attack he would send them, but to their surprise, he walked off without a word.

'Oh? Maybe Clarke spoke to him.' Whatever, Murphy wasn't their problem. Eventually, they returned to the Blake siblings with a cup of water, but Bellamy had fallen into unconsciousness once again.

“Kova…"

"Hm?"

"I still have a few hours before Wells takes over this shift." Her gaze shifted, hesitant. "Would… You mind keep an eye on him?"

'Oh. She…' "Of course." They answered. "Go ahead."

Any animosity her eyes might have held this morning were long gone now. Eyes shining, she squeezed their shoulder in thanks before running off to finish her duties.

Leaving Kova alone with her brother.

Pointedly looking away from the mess, they sat by Bellamy's side and brushed the fringe of hair away from his eyes. They leaned down and pressed their forehead against his, only to flinch away. "Hot." They muttered, taking the wet towel and cold bucket of water Octavia had left behind, "His temperature is still going up." A sigh passed their lips. They dabbed at the sweat rolling down his forehead, cheeks, and neck before wrapping the towel in a neat rectangle and placing it over his forehead. “It’s going to be a long night.”

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Waking from unconsciousness felt like wading through tar, and it took Bellamy a moment to register the cold towel across his forehead, the warmth of someone kneeling by his side. Thinking it was his sister, he placed a hand on 'her' knee in comfort—

"You're awake." A surprised, yet quiet voice, far deeper than Octavia's, spoke.

He pulled his hand away slowly. Phlegm stuck in his throat, he tried clearing it out to speak, only to flinch at what felt like sandpaper grinding against his vocal cords.

"Don't strain yourself. You coughed and vomited a lot."

The sound of dry grinding caught his attention, and it was only then did Bellamy notice the mortar and pestle in Kova's hands. As if someone flipped a switch in his nose, the stench hit him like a sucker punch — whatever ingredients they had blended together made his eyes water and the bridge of his nose to crease.

Kova didn't look like they were doing any better, and they answered the unasked question with a wry smile on their lips. "Lime juice, onion, cloves, and ginger. Nasty combo, but it works like a charm. It's also the only thing I can make without fucking it up somehow."

His throat protested, but he managed to get one word out. "Why?"

"My younger sister would get sick often, so I learned my mom's recipe." The pestle paused, they looked at him over the mortar. Whether it was the headache from being stuck in a sick room the entire day or exhaustion from caring for Bellamy and the others around them that made their brain falter, Kova couldn't tell, but it certainly loosened their tongue. "Unless… that wasn't the question?"

With a gritty sensation clawing at his throat, Bellamy didn't want to reply, and simply watched as Kova stopped grinding. They raised the bowl to their nose, grimacing like the ingredients physically attacked their well-being, and pulled away. They nodded as if thinking, 'Yup, perfect.'

And while Bellamy couldn't tell where the fuck the spoon in their other hand came from, he knew damn well what was going to happen, and no way was he letting that monstrosity of a concoction anywhere near his mouth—

"Stop being a baby," Kova snapped after the third time Bellamy clenched his lips and turned his head away. After the fifth attempt, they let out a heavy sigh, pinching the bridge of their nose. "The things I do for Octavia…" They muttered under their breath, and suddenly the mortar under his nose vanished.

At first, Bellamy thought he won.

And then he watched as Kova pour the so-called medicine into their own mouth, and suddenly, he wished he had just accepted the mortar. It seemed as though the onion hadn't been properly grounded in the first place, judging from the audible crunches in their mouth. They chewed up the concoction further for good measure—

Leaned over his face—

His mouth parted in shock, eyes widening—

'Are they actually going to—?'

Three fingers pried his mouth open, and there was a plop! before the palm of their hand pressed against his mouth, letting the mushed up medicine slide right on his tongue. He gagged, but they refused to move until he swallowed with a thick gulp. God, the aftertaste was even worse than what he expected.

They were about to remove their hand, only to yelp and snatch it back, cradling it against their chest. "Did you just bite me?!"

"Fuck you."

"You fucking animal." Filled with disbelief and indignation, they scoffed and wiped their hand on his shirt, adding onto his anger. "Whatever — I only did what Octavia asked of me."

They pulled out a cup of water, and as tempted as he was to knock it out of their hands, he wanted to be rid of this awful aftertaste, now that his throat didn't crawl with discomfort. 'Huh.' His suspicious gaze landed on them. "Why are you helping me?"

"Didn't I just say?" They grabbed one of his hands and forced him to hold the water. "Your sister entrusted you to me. How could I possibly let her down? Now drink."

“You need to stay away from her.” He warned, albeit halfheartedly. His arms shook under his weight, but Bellamy managed to lift himself on his elbows. He took a sip, then gulped down the entire cup. But when he set it down on the floor, he noted the streaks of blood and the remaining specks of vomit splattered around, including on Kova's pants. Realization dawned on his face, and Kova pointedly ignored it as they took the cup from him.

“I would take you more seriously if you weren't acting like a child.” The teasing smirk on their face only riled him up more. "Besides, it's far too late for that, anyways."

The perk of his eyebrow was a question all on its own.

"Don't forget, as much as you don't like my brother, they're a thing now." They gathered the used towel and the bucket of water dyed orange from the blood. "She surprisingly understands our culture. As long as she protects my brother, and I'll protect hers." Their own eyebrows perked up, the teasing smirk growing. "Even if I don't like him too much."

Bellamy's scoff turned into a small huff of laughter. "Shut up." He looked away with a sniff. "Any updates on the bridge?"

"Finn and Jasper left a while ago. Raven is missing — no clue where she is, but she most likely went to follow them. No explosion so far." Suddenly, they looked over his head. "Clarke."

"Hey. Didn't know he woke up." The mattress dipped when she plopped next to him. Red lined the deep circle around her eyes and dry blood cracked along her cheeks to her chin, as if she had been crying.

"Finn said you shouldn't be taking shifts." They were met with a pair of guilt ridden eyes, and an exasperated sigh passed their lips. "Rest. I can handle it now that sleeping beauty here is awake."

"Shut the fuck up." Bellamy never had the intense feeling of wanting to smack that frustrating smirk off their face until now.

In the end, Clarke nodded her agreement. Kova stood, patting Bellamy's shoulder before grabbing the bucket and the towel. "Don't die while I'm gone. Applies to the both of you."

"Got it." The two leaders rasped out at the same time.

Clarke noticed the way his eyes followed Kova until they were out of sight. "Are you feeling better?"

"Yeah." His scowl returned, and he struggled to sit up fully, swinging his legs over the mattress and planting his feet on the floor. His eyes caught sight of Murphy when the boy had moved to another patient. "I see you're letting him take care of the sick." Pausing, he turned to her. "You trust him?"

"After everything? No." She scoffed. "But I do believe in second chances."

His eyes flickered to the cup, then to the mess on the floor. Kova's update finally hit him. "It's almost dawn. We should get everyone inside. If we lock the doors, maybe the grounders won’t think we’re home.”

“But not everyone is sick.”

“Sick is better than dead.”

Silence stood between them for a moment. “You don’t think Finn and Jasper are gonna pull it off.”

“Do you?”

Clarke's sigh broke another moment of silence. “I’ll get everyone inside.”

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The sun rose, and so did everyone's worries. There had still been no signal from the Jasper, Finn, or Raven, so everyone assumed the worst and lined up outside the dropship, wearing makeshift masks from rags. Some even had gloves.

'With such an enclosed, small space, and no ventilation, there's a good chance a few of them will catch the virus.' Kova thought while waiting at the curtained entrance for Clarke's signal. 'But there's a chance for survival. Trikru's attack is an inevitable fatality.'

Their train of thoughts traveled to their time on the Mountain, when they and their fellow warriors had been infected, puking every few steps until it was only acid against their throat. Miller rushed past the ramp and through the curtains, carrying as many guns as his arms would allow, and Kova realized how truly weak the delinquents were. No training whatsoever in 'Earth Skills' or whatever Monty had called it before, no fighting or weapon experience, nothing. If they had landed in Azgeda territory, they would have died within the week—

Boom!

For the first time in Kova's life, an explosion brought relief.

Everyone turned to the mushroom cloud punching through the air.

"They did it." Bellamy's voice startled Kova. They hadn't realized the two leaders stepped out from the dropship.

“'I am become death, destroyer of worlds.'” A murmur came from Clarke's lips. She felt eyes on her, and turned to Bellamy and Kova looking at her with confusion. "Oppenheimer. The man who built the first—”

“I know who Oppenheimer is.” Bellamy interrupted with a small smirk.

“He actually stole that quote from a Hindu scripture, if I recall correctly. So not really his quote." Eyes returning to the mushroom cloud, fear crawled up their spine, jaw clenching, tongue feeling heavy in their mouth, and Kova signaled for Miller to take over on sending people away from the dropship.

Once they knew no eyes were on them, they snuck behind the dropship, pressing the back of their hand to their mouth. This sudden nausea wasn't new — they were well acquainted with how their body reacted to guilt and shame to this degree. But then the mental onslaught came, 'who am I?' 'why did I let them do that?' 'will TonDC and the other villages survive?' 'will Fort Nauk function without the bridge?' 'treason,' 'kill order,' 'my family—?'

They had already answered a few of these questions when they first heard of the plan to blow up the bridge. There were countless weavers in the villages, and quite a few bridge builders from the Old families. 'They'll be fine,' The one thought cycled a few times while their body climbed over the back wall, stiff, as if on autopilot. They landed, light on their feet—

"Hey."

Kova stood to their full height.

'They'll be fine.'

"Hey." They greeted back, clasping a hand on Octavia's shoulder. "Ready?"

"Let's go."

The two trekked through the forest, following the trail of gladiolus' and lilies.

They'll be fine.

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#Bellamy blake x oc #bellamy blake x reader #bellamy x oc #the night our stars aligned (and our breaths touched)#bellamy blake imagine #bellamy blake imagines #the 100 imagines #bellamy blake #the 100 #bellamy blake fanfiction #my writing #writeblr #wip fanfic

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psychefm · 4 years

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talk to the hand [ TIMOTHEE CHALAMET ], [ REED ‘NEWT’ NEWTON ] is the new kid on the block around here. at [ TWENTY ], the [ CIS BOY] works at [ BABBAGE’S ] in the mall and, like, [ HE ] totally reminds us of [ CHANDLER BING ]. oh snap! what? their favorite movie is [ HOME ALONE ]???? so is mine!

ABOUT THE MUN. i used to lie to y’all, my mom didn’t say no, i did

i hate this site man. and that’s it, that’s all you gotta know about me.

BIO. good news!!!! i’ve successfully replaced all my emotions with jokes !!!! tw bullying

reed newton was born in london england to sylvia anne bixby and cornelius otis newton and honestly, he’s regretted it ever since.

newt was an accident. he was the product of one of his mother and father’s first ever lustful encounters, and their subsequent shotgun wedding so honestly they both spent most of newt’s formative years in the honeymoon period. some of newt’s earlier memories are of him walking in on his parents doing the devil’s tango in the broom closet and his nanny rushing to cover his eyes. good times.

honestly newt walked in on his parents doing the do more times than any kid should have before the age of nine. and then he walked in on a parent doing the do with a non parent. in other words newt got an eyeful of his father and the pool boy and it wasn’t long after that that his parents went through a long and messy divorce. once again, good times.

his mother decided to pack up their things and move herself and her nine year old very impressionable son to nebraska, because fuck that kid amiright. newt was quickly designated as the skinny weird nerdy kid with glasses and a funny little accent, and so as you can guess he was pretty mercilessly bullied from age nine to eighteen. he really never stood a chance.

i feel like this is a good time to mention that newt’s mother was a sex therapist, which is not the same as a regular therapist but still, therapist is in the name. he should have been able to talk to his parent in this time of strife and get some level of support right? nope. sylvia bixby is well known for writing a men are from mars, women are from venus like book on communication and dating and all that, so his mom was generally on book tour after book tour. but maybe she would have been supportive if she was ever actually around, right? again, nope.

unbeknownst to newt whenever his mother was around she was not only just casually psycho analyzing her only child for shits and giggles, no, she as also writing about it. newt’s mother wrote an entire book about raising a highly repressed teenage son with newt as the star, and you can only guess what that did for newt’s stellar high social status in high school. nothing great.

did newt ask her not to publish it once he realized she had wrote it? yes. did she still publish it? also yes. so newt and his mother no longer have the greatest relationship. holidays are awkward.

things were not better on his fathers end, but it wasn’t because his father particularly did anything nearly as tone deaf as his mother. yes, his father was a famous erotica novelist and yes that made newt’s life a living hell, but newt luckily wasn’t the subject of those books. neil transitioned from writing fabio like novels to writing some lgbt fiction which, great for representation, horrible for your teenage son who is now known around school for having a dad who writes porn. to top it off, neil ended up starting a long term relationship with the pool boy and gaining a pseudo step son from it. benjamin caley was not only more athletic than newt, not only more attractive than newt, but also better than newt in every single way imaginable which was a real self esteem booster. his father actively prefers benji and every time newt visits him in england over the summers he comes home hating himself a bit more.

which works out because after the book being published, most people kind of hated newt too so at the very least he was on trend. there was a lot of classic nineties bullying you know, wedgies, swirlies, shoving newt into lockers. all very cliche. newt would tell his bullies as much, but it never really went over that well.

but then finally newt graduated. he was free from the hell that was the public education system and his childhood household. he graduated with honours, moved out of his mother’s house, and got himself his own apartment with a roommate near the mall where he got his first real job.

goes to university for software engineering. has an internship at apple that he’s absolutely terrified to mess up. has an old beat up car that was like the first big purchase he ever made with his own money, so he loves it to death even though it’s a piece of shit.

PERSONALITY. do you fear me? don’t feel so special now. i have social anxiety. i fear everybody.

this is my first time playing newt so all of this is subject to change BUT

INSECURE. newt is a weird mix of cripplingly insecure and weirdly confident and there is no in between ever.

WITTY. humour is and always will be the only defense newt has against anything, so he makes a lot of jokes especially when he feels uncomfortable.

EMPATHETIC. newt is a big push over when it comes to emotions like he would never do anything to hurt someone unless it was by accident or he was provoked or you’re his step brother benji or either of his parents in which case he will run you over with his car on sight. but no really, if newt is in a position where he has to hurt somebody he will do absolutely everything in his power to either not or avoid the situation completely.

AWKWARD. sometimes honestly, although it depends on the day. v clumsy though. usually he can try to make his awkwardness funny but does he always succeed? the answer is no.

HEADCANNONS. actually all of my systems are nervous.

has to drink like six cups of coffee or tea a day. very serious about his tea because english. also has vegemite on his toast.

can actually cook pretty well even though he prefers to eat takeout. cooks because it’s cheaper and he’s a broke ass student yk. won’t take money from his parents ever, and will straight up give it away if it’s forced upon him.

writes star trek fanfic for fun and has a kind of weird relationship with writing because of his parents honestly?? but he enjoys it so, maybe the apple in fact does not fall from the tree.

has commitment issues because of his parents divorce but don’t we all.

developed a stutter after all the divorce drama because he thought it was his fault. he later had to see a speech therapist. his mother later had a fwb relationship with this same speech therapist. newt wanted to die.

traded his glasses for contacts and you will literally only see newt in glasses if he rips or loses his contacts or if he’s at home.

in love with all things sci fi, will rent and see every sci movie ever made if he can

accidentally knocks down at least one display in babbages per day so there’s that.

speaking of newt runs a small side gig out of babbages where he fixes up tech because paying for university, rent, and car insurance out of pocket gets up there. so if you need someone to fix your desktop newt is your guy.

is actually a pretty good flirt when he’s drunk or feels comfortable. is constantly teetering between painfully insecure and confident.

is very bi and very hesitant about it because of his father and all his feelings towards that, but he will eventually stop fighting it so much soon hopefully. has probably had a few drunken hookups with guys but tries to convince himself that is just a drunk thing yk.

is allergic to bees so death has a kiss just for him i guess.

loves video games but that goes without saying

has anxiety and takes medication for it, one of the few healthy things his mother has ever done for him.

speaking of his mother if newt ever sees her book about him in a book display he will spend as much time as needed taking each book and hiding them in obscure places so that no one will ever be able to find them and buy them. he read the whole thing because he had to know and yep he absolutely hates it.

goes by newt and only newt so that no one can make the connection between him and his mother or his father upon first meeting him or hopefully ever. a lot of the kids he went to high school with still know though and with the accent and everything, he’s not fooling anyone who has at least heard a rumour

idk what else y’all imma fite tumblr for making me write this twice

WANTED CONNECTIONS. actually wait, i take that self deprecation back, i’m great.

ROOMMATE. because newt can’t afford his place on his own between all his expenses. please. think of the shenanigans.

ON AGAIN OFF AGAIN THING. kind of inspired by chandler and janice tbh. these two are pretty incompatible and whenever they’re together all they talk about is breaking up with each other but whenever they’re broken up and they see each other they somehow always find themselves waking up in bed together the next morning. it’s a mess.

NERD SQUAD. give me newt’s friends from high school please and thanks. just a crew of absolutely dweebs and misfits.

FWB/EWB. self explanatory considering newt’s big commitment issues but i just imagine like making out in the back room and like hooking up in the break room and someone leaving like a damning article of clothing in there and the two of them scrambling to get it before anyone notices. just fun.

EX. self explanatory but yes, an ex gf or bf, an ex fwb or ewb, give me all the exes please.

REPEAT CUSTOMER. this person is always paying newt to come fix their computer and other tech and newt just doesn’t understand how they mess it up so badly. like he doesn’t get how or why technology hates them as much as it does, but he’ll take the money.

HATESHIP. just good old fashion animosity. could be hate from school or the fresh hate upon working in the mall together or they can just be newt’s least favourite customer and he can hate them for that.

CRUSH. maybe newt had a crush on them in school. maybe they had a crush on newt in school. maybe newt has a crush on them now. maybe they have a crush on newt now.

and anything else tbh. i’d love a smoking buddy for newt, a friend who he can never get any work done around like when they’re together they’re just like !!!, someone who used to be one of the popular kids who he is now getting along with or still holding a grudge against, his big gay awakening in school maybe like the first masc person he had a crush on, someone who tries to get newt to party and come out of his shell, someone who idk steals from babbages skjsdj idk man i am open to anything at all so just like this and we can brain storm if anything!

#vhsintro #r.n. | intro.#using this gif of timmy surfing cause when else am i gonna get the chance #but oof finally done

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annakie · 4 years

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An Annotated Mass Effect Playthrough, Part Two

Aliens! Exposition! Guns! Explosions! Kickass Ladies! Betrayal! So much death!

Um, this got long. Sorry not sorry.

List of Posts: 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

The first thing Mass Effect does after coming out of the introduction is assure us that yes, we have aliens

and we have hot guys (and hot aliens, if you’re into that sort of thing.)

They should have made an advertisement pointing out these things just for me so I would have paid release price for this game. Ah well, I’ve bought it on 360, Steam and Origin now. They have my money.

We’re going to make it most of the way through Eden Prime in this post.

One thing Mass Effect does a lot of in the beginning here is exposition. There’s a lot to learn about the state of the galaxy in 2148, and there are people there to make sure you learn about it. Jeff and Kaidan only do a little bit of exposition, you learn about Nihilus, a tiny bit about Spectres, and that Captain Anderson is badass. I wish this scene actually lasted longer -- this is the only time we see Kaidan away from his Orange Corner (or that other orange wall) on the ship for awhile. I guess there’s the conference room, but still. If they ever do a remaster, please Bioware, let the companions move around the ship like in ME3 and give our boy better lighting.

I love the flow of the Normandy SR1. It feels the easiest to get around in since it’s so much smaller... except when you have to get on the elevator. I also love the dark theme. The ME2 SR2 always feels so... blinding. The only thing I miss from the SR2 really is my decked out Captain’s quarters. I mean does anyone even ever go into the ME1 quarters except to get the one codex entry until it’s sexytime?

I do like ME1′s use of ambient conversations, you get to learn a little about Pressley and Jenkins before talking to them. Those conversations, though, are just such exposition dumps. I think they do it fairly well, but there’s so much to remember. Both Jenkins (with Chakwas) and Pressley really harp on what and who Spectres are, pretty sure even before you talk to Nihilus you have an inkling you’re gonna eventually be one.

I honestly wish we had more actual interaction with Pressley than what we get here, he has very little to say after this point. Another hope for a remaster.

This kid Jenkins, he’s got a good career ahead of him if we can tame his hot-headedness. That’ll be his role in the game, I’m sure, the kid you mentor and grow into a reflection of you. Good to know he’s from the planet we’re heading to, I’m sure he’ll be a valuable source of information there.

Having played a lot of World of Warcraft, and I mean a LOT, from the alpha, then release, for the next two or three years, the fact that his name was Jenkins was actually a bit of a hint for me even then. But more in the “Wouldn’t it be funny if...?” and then he did. Nice.

I’m really glad Chakwas gets fleshed out a little more in just the one more conversation after this one and in future games. Because there’s not much to say about her here.

Whew! Exposition over, right? We’ve learned about Spectres, the First Contact War, about Eden Prime, that we’re in the Alliance, that there’s Turians and a council that governs things and... we’re good, right?

Wait, didn’t Anderson say he was already with Nihilus in the conference room? Where’d he go? What a bro, to step out and let Nihilus make a big turn-around moment of introduction to us. Okay, more loredump. Cool. Really getting the concept of Spectres now, for sure, especially from this guy, who is one!

Finally, Anderson. Just in time to tell us about Spectres, and Eden Prime, and now it’s time to learn about the Protheans. Whaaaaat? You want ME to maybe be a Spectre? I’m shocked!

Oh sorry, Annakie just flew through time from ME3 to stare into the camera incredulously.

I’m sure that this will be a decision that will be deeply impactful through the entirety of the rest of the series.

But here we learn about Protheans, and they lost me a bit on that one when we first played the game. Who the fuck cares about what happened 20,000 years ago? THIS IS THE FUTURE!!! We’re in SPACE!

Well, we wouldn’t get away from the Protheans so easily.

Oh what the FUCK is that thing? You’ve hooked me right back in. Tell Alenko and Jenkins to suit up? LET’S GO.

You guys... ALOV is so good, and so pretty. And these screenshots look shittier on tumblr!! Look how clear these movies are now. And these are just 720p! They’re working to upscale them to 4k! Again I say, all hail the modders.

Still, that giant red spot doesn’t look so good for the people living there...

I’m sure it’s fine.

We’re all suited up, but sadly the super cool alien isn’t coming with us? Didn’t he say he was here to follow and observe us? Well, he knows what he’s doing.

Anyone else already willing to die for Anderson fifteen minutes into this game?

The sky is supposed to be that color red, right? Right Jenkins?

As cool as this level design is, also something that could use improving. There’s like... no housing here? Just a bunch of tall towers on the ground all really realy far apart from each other? You’re on a new planet and everyone lives inside a giant tower? I mean, good for preventing Urban Spawl I guess. I’d love to see a more populated Eden Prime. Even in ME3 we just saw a small dig site and more towers in the distance.

Anyway, better level up. Jenkins is young and needs some training if he’s gonna survive this mission!

Here we go, show us what you’ve got!

Shit.

My first time through, I truly thought I’d fucked up and probably reloaded this fight two or three times before accepting he was just... supposed to die. And then I remembered his name was Jenkins, knew it was intentional, and laughed.

Honestly, it’s a great fakeout with making us feel like Jenkins is important, and then having him lose the battle right away. ME1 is pretty brutal that way. It’s a good way to signal that this game is probably going to rip your heart out, so get used to it.

Shepard and Kaidan have a moment, and I like this because it’s really the first time I think you can really start showing who your Shepard is, with how you react to Jenkins’ death. Either way, I like it that she tells Kaidan that we need to focus. I also love that, though we don’t get to see a moment for Jenkins from here on out in ME1, that they finally gave his memory a moment in ME3.

I love Flycam.

What. An. Entrance. For. Ashley. Williams.

Bioware, give us Ashley and Kaidan living in a Mass Effect Remaster, please. I will pay $100 for this DLC. (I know, I KNOW.) I have only played through with Ashley living all the way through once. I’m sorry Ash, I love you. I just... LOVE Kaidan.

But hey that’s HOURS away. For now, she’s with us, and she’s amazing.

Sorry, I just caught several great images from Ashley’s intro and thought you needed to see them. It’s gonna be a miracle if tumblr lets this thing post.

This is fine.

Uh, I’m not the only one who still sometimes dies on Eden Prime because I can never remember how the controls work until like, the end of the planet, right? “CRAP, WHICH BUTTON IS MEDIGEL?” “WHY ISN’T THE SQUAD RESPONDING TO GOING WHERE I TELL THEM WITH Q and E?” “Shit shit shit gotta reload OH FUCK JUST THREW A GRENADE SIX INCHES AWAY. WHY IS THAT MAPPED TO R?”

Grotesque and yet... great visuals. This is when you realize these Geth aren’t playing around. This is Bad Bad.

Iiiiif you also used to always punch out Miguel and then like awhile later realized how shitty that was and now know that the “Geinuis is the other side of the coin of Madness” speech here is also really shitty... raise your hand. Especially since Miguel is, you know, right. Anyway, do better on a remaster, Bioware?

The one good thing here was the “Thank the Maker” at the very beginning of the encounter. I want Shepard to visit Thedas. Give us this DLC, Bioware!!

Oh Nihilus, you were too pretty, and trusting, for this world.

Bioware, again, in the remaster... please go with your original plan and not make Saren all Gethed out this early. I wish that could be modded away. It’s so distracting to have him be OBVIOUSLY HALF MACHINE and everyone being like “Saren? Working with the Geth? PREPOSTEROUS!!”

Got some AMAZING screenshots of Sovereign taking off thanks to Flycam.

Also, this is just such an OH SHIT moment. Look at that thing! It’s terrifying! Also it’s easy to miss if you’re looking the wrong way, this maybe shoulda been in a cutscene. But even so, when you see it, it fills you with SUCH DREAD. They do such a great job of amping up the tension and drama and mystery bit by bit on Eden Prime. Giving you bits of the greater story and also feeding you pieces that will eventually come together, but not for awhile.

I followed Soverign as long as I could before he disappeared. Got this far away from land. The actual spaces in the game are huge, but we’ll get to more of that later.

Congrats! You all survived! For uh... about two and a half more years?

Can’t believe we can’t loot the Spectre’s body.

Also... the luckiest dock worker in the world. I can never yell at him for sleeping on the job. It’d be hilarious if he showed up alive on Horizon in ME2, and like Haven in ME3.

This is the guy that usually kills me.

OK, this is ridiculously long already. We’ll finish up Eden Prime and get to the Citadel next time.

#mass effect #annakie's mass effect stuff #bioware #mass effect 1

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batwynn · 5 years

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Basic tips on handling Harassment/Bullying on Tumblr

Anyway, here is some basic advice for people handling harassment on this site in particular. Please remember that, with any advice, there can be flaws. This is based on my personal experiences, and is not a uniform way to handle this for every situation or person.

Before we even get to numbering some tips, I personally want to tell you that whatever bullying or harassment is going on is NOT YOUR FAULT and if you don’t feel equipped to handle this situation at all, please immediately reach out to a parent/guardian, an authority figure, a therapist, a more equipped friend, etc. Please try to someone who can help you. You shouldn’t have to handle this on your own. And if you can’t find someone or just don’t have anyone, I’m around a good part of the day and I’ll reply to messages within 1-3 hours at the most during the day and within 12 or so hours if you contact me at night. (I’m at Eastern Standard Time) I will do my best to advise you or even just be an ear for you. If I can’t help, I will direct you to the best person I know of who can.

To friends of those being harassed or bullied: Please try to keep an eye on your friends in general, and reach out (If you can) if you see bullying posts or see them responding to cruel anons. They might not know you can or will help, or might feel isolated and forced to try to handle the situation on their own. If you feel that you can help, even just to support them, then please reach out. It’s important, though, to remember that if you don’t know how to help, it’s okay to say that and direct them to someone else. If you aren’t in a place where you can help, it’s okay to say that. It’s better to let them know this, so they can find someone else to speak to about it.

Content warning: Mentions of suicidal thoughts, bullying, harassment, DOXXING.

Basic tips on handling harassment on Tumblr:

1: I know a lot of advice tells you to isolate yourself, lest you give a bully any opportunity to harass you. I always disliked this kind of advice, but I also sometimes use this advice when I don’t feel mentally or physically able to handle any kind of negative situation at the time. If you are not in a position to deal with potential cruel anons, I highly recommend you turn off the anon option in your inbox. Your friends and kind people are typically more likely to send you messages with their account showing. Even if this lowers your chances of receiving anonymous nice messages, it also protects you from a lot of potential hate messages. Most bullies love to hide behind anonymity, and will abuse this function to no end. If you aren’t prepared to handle that (as I advise later), you should keep it off until you are. I know this is technically a form of limiting yourself, but this is meant more as a ‘take care of your mental health first’, then see where you’re at and turn it on when you feel ready. The anon feature can be really great, when it’s used for positive things or people asking for help/advice while keeping themselves protected. But it’s important to remember that you are the only one who can gauge what you are comfortable with or prepared to handle. [IE: I’ve had a lot of people talking about wanting to die in anon messages, and if that’s triggering to you that can be bad but also: Unless you’re a professional in the field of mental health, this isn’t a situation you are really equipped to deal with.]

2: Dealing with Pile-Ons or multiple/single cruel anon messages. These happen a lot. Far too often, to be honest. A lot of us have been in this situation, and some of us have been on the piling side of the situation. Ever see a bad take on here and feel the urge to message them directly to let them know it’s a bad take? Yeah, a lot of people have felt that way, and a lot actually follow through. Now, even if this person is saying really awful stuff, what you’re doing is technically taking part in a Pile-On. I’m not saying you’re wrong to disagree or let this person know that what they’re saying is harmful or bad, but don’t be fooled into thinking you’re the only one messaging them.

Now, being on the other side of this, especially when you didn’t say anything harmful and people are just being awful (Or, for example, you accidentally say something that isn’t correct and instead of one or two people politely letting you know that you’re wrong so you can change, the entire website decides you must die.) it just really stinks. It’s stressful beyond belief, it’s really hard to manage, and sometimes it can go on for years. (See: a certain artist in a certain TV show fandom I won’t mention.) This is a bit of a process, and a lot of it might feel like you’re giving up or giving them some kind of ‘win’, but that’s not what it is.

Part A: Take a moment to stop the head-spinning anxiety of a sudden mass-assault. It’s a LOT, and it can be seriously damaging to even the thickest-skinned individuals. Take a step back, close Tumblr, take some deep breaths, find someone to talk to about the situation, or go to safe space where you can relax for a moment. IMPORTANT: Please don’t be afraid to reach out to a parent/guardian, friends, etc to handle the situation for you. If you trust someone with your information or account, it’s okay to let them take these steps for you. You are NOT weak for doing this.

Part B: Block IP addresses of anon bullies. First and foremost, always remember you can block people. It might seem like a form of ‘giving in’ or whatever, and maybe the ragelords of the internet like to chortle and cheer when they get blocked by someone they’re harassing, but honestly that’s more an act than actual happiness that they’re blocked. They aren’t happy you cut them off mid-rant. They aren’t happy they can’t hurt you anymore. You stopped them from reaching you, and now they are forced out of their comfortable space where they can sit there and harass you all day long. They actually have to DO something else, either harass someone else (unfortunately) or find another way to reach you (unfortunately part 2). A lot of these people do stop after they are blocked, especially when you block their IP address. (Which is what happens when you block an anon person harassing you.) You can find this option under the anon message as three dots in your inbox on the computer ONLY. (mobile does not have this option, only ‘delete’.) I highly recommend you do this early on, especially if you’re dealing with a ‘pile-on’ situation. Because each anon could be one person, or five. Blocking the anon IP address will cut down on a wave of messages from a single person, and give you a chance to start working on the next person.

Note: You CAN report harassment in your inbox, but they usually only do something if they’re harassing you off anon. (I never had any luck reporting anon messages in the past. Idk if this has changed.) If they are harassing you with their account visible, go to ‘Reporting’ below, and follow the report directions.

If you want to engage, for whatever reason you want to, I still highly recommend you block them. For engagement, I suggest taking a screen shot of the message(s) before blocking and making a response post. This way they have no way to respond or even see the content, and you can say whatever you wish in response to the harassment if you wish to. This does not stop them from getting friends to share the content with them, or making another account on another IP address to continue to harass you. I would generally not encourage engaging, but I also can’t honestly say not to when I have done so, myself. I understand the urge, I understand wanting to get your side out there or to explain yourself. It’s your right to. But always try to consider the situation before doing so.

Part C: Moving forward. Depending on the reason why the pile-on started, sometimes taking a break from Tumblr can really help. Once people get their rage out, or scroll past the post, a lot of the time they move on. [I can 100% say that this is NOT ALWAYS THE CASE] This, again, is a difficult situation that doesn’t really have one simple trick to handle. Some cases end up being so bad that people have had to contact the police, and some are handled after reporting accounts to the Tumblr staff. Some people simply delete the ‘offending post/comment’ and move on, and some people post an amendment in a lot of cases of accidental miss-information. Honestly, it’s really up to you how you handle the ‘cause’ itself, but in regards to anon messaging, it’s typically best to simple block their IP address and not engage.

3: How to report harassing blog posts. Is someone posting ‘receipts’ or screen shots of your content on their blog and writing nasty rants about you? This is a case of ick that I really hate dealing with, because it typically means relying on Tumblr staff which are… notoriously unhelpful, in some cases. (See: Why Are There Still Millions of Nazis On This Site?) In this case, make sure you can still access their blog and see their content. If they have blocked you, ask a friend to help you or make a second account simply to get the post link for a report. You can find this link under the post in the feed with the ‘arrow’ looking button under the post. You want the ‘Permalink’. You might also need screen shots of the posts, so try to grab those as well as the direct link to the post. At this point, you will need to venture into the Tumblr reporting area, which is often changing and half the time you can’t find it, so depending on when you see this post, it might be best to check this out yourself.

On the computer: Use this form: https://www.tumblr.com/abuse

(You can also use this form if you sign in on Tumblr on Safari/GoogleChrome on your phone.)

On mobile: Go to Account—>General Settings—>Report Abuse—>I’m being harassed (or whichever option seems more appropriate)

From there they will advise you on blocking and other advice on how to handle it without them getting involved. If these work for you, great! If not, continue to: ‘If the block feature has not solved this issue, you can report here.’ Be ready with your links, if there are any, or select the ‘being harassed in inbox’ option if you are receiving harassing messages in your inbox. They will email you an automated response almost immediately, in most cases, and you will probably have to wait around a week for an actual response depending on the situation and if they’re busy or whatever the staff are doing at the time. Until then, I highly recommend you block the person harassing you, if only to cut off their access to your content.

4: DOXXING. What is it? This is when your personal information is sought out, collected, then posted publicly for all to see. It’s an incredibly dangerous thing to happen to you, especially if you are a minor or in any situation where that information could be used against you. (So basically all the time.) It’s also so overwhelming and scary that a lot of the time it can simply shut you down.

IMPORTANT REMINDER 1: If your life is in immediate danger, remove yourself from the address/space that was revealed and contact the police as soon as possible.

IMPORTANT REMINDER 2: If you do not feel equipped to handle this situation, please do not feel like you can’t ask for help!

The first thing I’ve seen a lot of DOXXED people do is get the post(s) with the information taken down as fast as possible. In this case, Tumblr, Twitter, Facebook staff are usually quicker to respond and assist with removing the post, especially if you are a minor. On Tumblr, use this form: https://www.tumblr.com/abuse

If you are a minor, at this point I highly recommend you speak to a parent or guardian or someone with authority about what’s going on. They will need to know if this information is out, and how to handle your safety at home or any location that was disclosed. A lot of cases involve the police at one point or another, so, unfortunately, be ready to sit there and be asked a bunch of questions.

An important part of handling this situation, if and when you have the post(s) taken down, is making sure your information is secure. This means checking potential sources, data leaks (You can use several sites to find if your info has been leaked, but CreditKarma offers a basic service for this. They basically let you know if you have an email or password that’s been released.) possible friends or family who were spoken to, old profiles that weren’t set to private, etc. Finding the source is a good way to stop the leak of information. Unfortunately, it doesn’t stop the person who already HAS the information. This is when it gets tricky, because in most cases simply reporting the person doesn’t tend to stop them. Their account can be removed, they can be blocked from sites, etc. But if they’re really determined, they can make other accounts and get that information out there. This is, again, really when the police should be involved.

At this point, a lot of professionals suggest locking down accounts and phone numbers that have been released. I know this might feel like giving in, and that they ‘win’, but this is really more about your safety and mental security than anything else. If you can, use a backup account to talk to friends/family/etc and to keep an eye on the situation if you feel up to the task.

5: Continued harassment spread across the net. If the harassment continues outside of this site: Start by blocking and reporting on other sites and see if that helps first. At this point, though, it’s a good idea to consider talking to an adult (if you’re a minor) and consider the possibility of contacting the police. Most importantly, don’t listen to anyone tell you that because this is the internet, it’s not having real consequences on you. This is serious, and they need to treat it seriously.

Contacting the police or a person of authority is kind of a daunting experience for anyone, but it can be especially hard when we’re told from all angles that ‘whatever is on the internet isn’t real’. That we can just block and ignore it, and go on with our lives. So, I’m saying this right now: I can’t promise the person of authority that you contact will take this seriously. I simply can’t promise that, because I don’t know what they are like or what the believe.

But if the bullying/harassment is damaging you, if it is going on too long, if it’s spreading across social media platforms, if they’re sharing your personal information, if they’re threatening you in ANY way, if you feel unsafe, if you feel suicidal, if you can’t get it to stop: Please find someone and contact them.

#bullying #harassment #online harassment #reporting #tumblr #tw: sucide mention

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himbosims · 5 years

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The Simself Challenge? Is that what this is called? I have no idea. . .

The challenge is basically to make a simself then answer a fuck ton of question so here we are. Thanks @willowbomb and @sim-borg for tagging me. I’ll tag: whoever wants to do this because idk who hasn't done this yet

1. WHAT IS YOUR FULL NAME? Taylor

2. WHAT IS YOUR NICKNAME? My childhood nickname was Tot. My friends call me d*ke and slut though so hey

3. BIRTHDAY? July 23, 2001

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE BOOK SERIES? Series definitely The Mortal Instruments or the Infernal Artifacts by Cassandra Clare

5. DO YOU BELIEVE IN ALIENS OR GHOSTS? Both i think, definitely aliens. I don't fuck with ghosts and all that because I don't want to die

6. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE AUTHOR? Right now my favs are Adam Silvera and Becky Albertalli

7. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE RADIO STATION? Where I live we have five stations, one that plays music from the 30’s all the time, three country, and one that says it plays pop but ends up playing country anyways. So, none.

8. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FLAVOR OF ANYTHING? Idk man, thats a loaded question. Probably vanilla

9. WHAT WORD WOULD YOU USE OFTEN TO DESCRIBE SOMETHING GREAT OR WONDERFUL? ??? lit… idk dude I was trying to think of something that's weird but I can't think of anything

10. WHAT IS YOUR CURRENT FAVORITE SONG? Be My Mistake by The 1975 or Not Warriors by Waterparks

11. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE WORD? Serious answer, lunacy (there's a reason its my username) not as serious, I just heard someone outside yell for the chillin’s and I started laughing because that word is great

12. WHAT WAS THE LAST SONG YOU LISTENED TO? I’m currently listening to From Eden by Hozier

13. WHAT TV SHOW WOULD YOU RECOMMEND FOR EVERYBODY TO WATCH? Shameless, Glee, Shadowhunters, Grey’s. I could go on.

14. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE TO WATCH WHEN YOU’RE FEELING DOWN?Love, Simon, Call Me By Your Name, or The Perks of Being a Wallflower

15. DO YOU PLAY VIDEO GAMES? Obviously

16. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR? Spiders and needles

17. WHAT IS YOUR BEST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION? nothing

18. WHAT IS YOUR WORST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION? Everything, in seriousness, my selfishness or narcissism,

19. DO YOU LIKE CATS OR DOGS BETTER? Cats are my favorites but dogs are cool

20. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON? fall

21. ARE YOU IN A RELATIONSHIP? Never have been

22. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU MISS FROM YOUR CHILDHOOD? NOT AS MUCH STRESS

23. WHO IS YOUR BEST FRIEND? Irl- my friend EJ. Online- @hallowiamshebsims

24. WHAT IS YOUR EYE COLOR? Green

25. WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOR? brown

26. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU LOVE? Read 23

27. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU TRUST? Read 23

28. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU THINK ABOUT OFTEN? Read 23

29. ARE YOU CURRENTLY EXCITED ABOUT/FOR SOMETHING? I don't remember the last time I was excited for something

30. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST OBSESSION? Writing I think

31. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW AS A CHILD? Hannah Montana, Ned Declassified, Drake and Josh, Flapjack, Courage the Cowardly Dog, Chowder, Rugrats. I'm a true early Gen Z kid

32. WHO OF THE OPPOSITE GENDER CAN YOU TELL ANYTHING TO, IF ANYONE? My girl best friend, I dont tell him everything because i'm a secretive bitch

33. ARE YOU SUPERSTITIOUS? Nah

34. DO YOU HAVE ANY UNUSUAL PHOBIAS? Read 16

35. DO YOU PREFER TO BE IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA OR BEHIND IT? Both

36. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE HOBBY? Writing, reading, creating imaginary worlds to live in

37. WHAT WAS THE LAST BOOK YOU READ? I am almost done with History Is All You Left me by Adam Silvera and oh boy that book

38. WHAT WAS THE LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Paranorman: “You’re gonna love my boyfriend, he’s like a total chick flick nut.”

39. WHAT MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY? N/A

40. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ANIMAL? Cats

41. WHAT ARE YOUR TOP 5 FAVORITE TUMBLR BLOGS THAT YOU FOLLOW? @hallowiamshebsims @simmerberlin @willowbomb @pollinationqueen @gunthermnch

42. WHAT SUPERPOWER DO YOU WISH YOU HAD? The ability to always have the money to pay for things

43. WHEN AND WHERE DO YOU FEEL MOST AT PEACE? My room probably

44. WHAT MAKES YOU SMILE? People falling down, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WJq4jWSQNd

45. WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY? That’s cute

46. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE DRINK? Coffee

47. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE A HAND-WRITTEN LETTER OR NOTE TO SOMEBODY? I have two teachers that are really weird about phones and talking in class so we pass notes instead

48. ARE YOU AFRAID OF HEIGHTS? Nah

49. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE? LOUD EATERS

50. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO A CONCERT? I went to a christian concert when I was like 5 so there's that

51. ARE YOU VEGAN/VEGETARIAN? Nope, I live in the south how do you expect me to not eat meat

52. WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE, WHAT DID YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GREW UP? Teacher since I live in the south and that's the only jobs beside retail or waitress in my town

53. WHAT FICTIONAL WORLD WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE IN? The Shadow World, but I wanna be a warlock, not a dumb shadowhunter lol

54. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU WORRY ABOUT? Everything

55. ARE YOU SCARED OF THE DARK? I’m afraid of what's in the dark, which is a hard ass way to say yes

56. DO YOU LIKE TO SING? All the time but im tone deaf so its bad

57. HAVE YOU EVER SKIPPED SCHOOL? If I was sick, yeah. Other than that, I did twice. Once because I had a really bad panic attack right before the bus got to my house and I called my mom claiming I was really sick, and once a few weeks ago because my dog got sprayed by a skunk therefore making me smell like a skunk

58. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PLACE ON THE PLANET? uhhhhhhh

59. WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE? New York City, LA, San Francisco, Toronto, Portland, London. Any big city to be honest

60. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS? A dog and three cats

61. ARE YOU MORE OF AN EARLY BIRD OR A NIGHT OWL? Both. I sometimes stay up super late and sometimes i'm up really early. And if I can actually force myself out of bed I can get a lot done in either of those times

62. DO YOU LIKE SUNRISES OR SUNSETS BETTER? Sunrises

63. DO YOU KNOW HOW TO DRIVE? Yeah but im gay so its not good driving l

64. DO YOU PREFER EARBUDS OR HEADPHONES? Everything that wont break in a week

65. HAVE YOU EVER HAD BRACES? Nah

66. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE GENRE OF MUSIC? I don't really have a favorite, I listen to all kinds of stuff

67. WHO IS YOUR HERO? Uhhhhh, Deadpool, or Spiderman

68. DO YOU READ COMIC BOOKS? Nope

69. WHAT MAKES YOU THE MOST ANGRY? It takes a lot to make me angry but when im angry it's bad and I forget what i do when i was angry so i don't really know

70. DO YOU PREFER TO READ ON AN ELECTRONIC DEVICE OR WITH A REAL BOOK? Real

71. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL? English and Creative Writing

72. DO YOU HAVE ANY SIBLINGS? Younger sister, younger step brother

73. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT? A starbucks coffee last night

74. HOW TALL ARE YOU? 5’7 or something

75. CAN YOU COOK? Depends on what i'm cooking

76. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU LOVE? Books, music, friends

77. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU HATE? Racists, homophobes, sexists- so basically most the people in my town (hell what am i kidding, this side of the Mason-Dixon line)

78. DO YOU HAVE MORE FEMALE FRIENDS OR MORE MALE FRIENDS? One of each

79. WHAT IS YOUR SEXUAL ORIENTATION? I am on the ace spectrum and I am panromantic

80. WHERE DO YOU CURRENTLY LIVE? ‘Merica the brave

81. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TEXTED? Sheb

82. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? Like, yesterday

83. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE YOUTUBER? CallMeKevin RTGame The Shane Dawson squad

84. DO YOU LIKE TO TAKE SELFIES? sometimes

85. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE APP?I guess this hell site

86. WHAT IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR PARENT(S) LIKE?My mom and I are kinda close, i don't really talk to my dad much (even though I live with him half the week)

87. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FOREIGN ACCENT? Aussie, British, Scottish, Irish… all of them

88. WHAT IS A PLACE THAT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO, BUT YOU WANT TO VISIT? Everywhere that’s not my state and the ones touching it

89. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER? 23

90. CAN YOU JUGGLE? notta

91. ARE YOU RELIGIOUS? Yes, but not crazy religious. I just believe in fate and that there is some type of higher power

92. DO YOU FIND OUTER SPACE OF THE DEEP OCEAN TO BE MORE INTERESTING? Nasa bitch

93. DO YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF TO BE A DAREDEVIL? I have an issue with adrenaline. As in, although i am an anxious person with too much adrenaline anyways I like to do things that give me a rush of adrenaline

94. ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO ANYTHING? I can't have my eyes pierced because I'm allergic to metal in the sense of having it in my body

95. CAN YOU CURL YOUR TONGUE? Yep

96. CAN YOU WIGGLE YOUR EARS? Nope

97. HOW OFTEN DO YOU ADMIT THAT YOU WERE WRONG ABOUT SOMETHING? Next question

98. DO YOU PREFER THE FOREST OR THE BEACH? I mean netiehr, but i'm not a huge fan of sand

99. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PIECE OF ADVICE THAT ANYONE HAS EVER GIVEN YOU? You’ve made it through your worst day before, you can do it again

100. ARE YOU A GOOD LIAR? I think so

101. WHAT IS YOUR HOGWARTS HOUSE? Sytherlin, not surprise

102. DO YOU TALK TO YOURSELF? I’m talking to myself right now

103. ARE YOU AN INTROVERT OR AN EXTROVERT? Introvert

104. DO YOU KEEP A JOURNAL/DIARY? Nah, my writing is kind alike my diary

105. DO YOU BELIEVE IN SECOND CHANCES? I give people too many chances

106. IF YOU FOUND A WALLET FULL OF MONEY ON THE GROUND, WHAT WOULD YOU DO? Check the ID, maybe take the money and leave it in a bush or something. I don’t know

107. DO YOU BELIEVE THAT PEOPLE ARE CAPABLE OF CHANGE? For sure

108. ARE YOU TICKLISH? Please don’t tickle me

109. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON A PLANE? Nope

110. DO YOU HAVE ANY PIERCINGS? Read question 94

111. WHAT FICTIONAL CHARACTER DO YOU WISH WAS REAL? Alec Lightwood or Magnus Bane, but young Alec because I can't be friends with 27 year old Alec

112. DO YOU HAVE ANY TATTOOS? Scared of needles, remember?

113. WHAT IS THE BEST DECISION THAT YOU’VE MADE IN YOUR LIFE SO FAR? Doing things for me

114. DO YOU BELIEVE IN KARMA? YES

115. DO YOU WEAR GLASSES OR CONTACTS? Both

116. DO YOU WANT CHILDREN? Not really but if my future partner wants some i’d be open to talk about it

117. WHO IS THE SMARTEST PERSON YOU KNOW? My ex-best friend. I used to hate how she never had to try to get good grades or be good at things, she just was

118. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING MEMORY? All my memories are embarrassing if you look close enough

119. HAVE YOU EVER PULLED AN ALL-NIGHTER? At least twice a month

120. WHAT COLOR ARE MOST OF YOU CLOTHES? Nutruels and black

121. DO YOU LIKE ADVENTURES? Sure

122. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON TV? I think I wa son the news once

123. HOW OLD ARE YOU? 17

124. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE QUOTE? I have a lot, “Words have the power to change us.” “perhaps it is because of time that we suffer.” “I remain a work in progress until I die.” “The thing you are most afraid to write, write that.” I could go on

125. DO YOU PREFER SWEET OR SAVORY FOODS? Sweet

#long post #simself #ts4 edit #sims 4 edit #ls:edit #tagged

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colorofyourhair · 7 years

Text

Practically Perfect in Every Way

Prompt:

Rating: M

Note: As tumblr is the only site that will let me list an individual rating per chapter I’ll rate them as content demands. However the larger compilation on both FFN and AO3 are rated M.

So... This got away from me. I hope you like single dad/nanny AU because this is 11k of exactly that. Also please forgive the sloppy formatting. My laptop is on the blinks and I’m posting from an iPad and google Docs EATS FORMATTING. I AM SO UPSET. Anyway. Thanks to @ravenstyx for the pre-read.

Also posted here:

FFN

AO3

Autumn

Their situation wasn't ideal. He felt bad admitting that because of course it wasn't ideal. Not for him, not for the girls, and certainly not for their mother – his sister – who'd just been buried. Just being a relative term because the funeral was nearly six months behind them. Six months had passed and he was only beginning to settle in the new house with the children that were now his...ish. His-ish. Were they his? He supposed they were. Gods he was already a terrible father. He couldn't even call them his children without following it up with unnecessary qualifiers.

The social worker had glared at him when he explained that he was still technically a college student. He couldn't just move. PhD candidates didn't just leave. He had papers and books and a life. He even had a job offer already, despite being a full year away from graduating. The position, of course, had been the gage by which he measured all his success as a student. That had been buried right along with his sister, though. He'd need to seek other, more local, employment now. Which was fine. It was fine.

It wasn't fine.

He was angry. Not at the blameless, motherless children that now looked to him as their only parental figure to guide them through their tumultuous childhood and into the even more choppy waters of adulthood. Not at his sister who'd up and died and left him her daughters – okay, maybe he was a little mad at his sister. When she'd asked him if he'd be okay with a place in her Last Will and Testament as a guardian to her daughters, he hadn't considered that she'd develop cancer and actually die before he even graduated college – or ever! All of the blocks toppled at once and Jellal felt completely buried.

“I just need a little time,” he'd said to the social worker.

“Don't you think these kids would love to have time at their disposal? They're children who just lost their mother and I don't think –”

“I lost my sister, too,” he'd snapped. “This is hard for me, too. Look, I'm doing my best. I can have everything done in maybe two months. I can finish my studies at a distance but I need time.”

She'd sighed and eyed him harshly over the tops of her bifocals. “You can have one month. After that you'll need to be here full time according to the attorney. My only interest is the children. We'll schedule follow-ups once you're here permanently.”

“I'm sorry,” he'd been so confused. Everything had been horribly confusing. “Attorney?”

“Didn't you know?” For the first time since they'd met, the social worker grinned. “There's a whole litany of things your sister set up before her death. Good luck, Mister Fernandes.” On his way out he thought for sure he'd heard her whisper, “You'll need it.”

The sale of his sister's house happened quicker than he could truly process. She hadn't wanted her daughters to grow up in the house where she'd died. He didn't know whether to curse her or bless her, but she'd prepared the children for the move. They wanted a say in the new house. Corralling two little girls together to view properties exhausted him more than any late night study session followed by a full day of classes ever had. By the time he had three positive votes on a house, he was ready to sign the papers right away. But there were roadblocks. Things like escrow and amortization and estate tax. Jellal didn't care about any of that. He just wanted to move. To settle.

Even now that they were in the house with all new things – his sister had left behind a sizable amount of money, a sum he couldn't quite comprehend – Jellal still felt out of control. The kitchen was tidy and sparkling. The girls' bedroom and playroom were perfect. The living room was as inviting as any he'd ever seen. They even had a mud room – Jellal hadn't even known what a mud room was until a month before. But his office? An utter nightmare. Boxes were still on the floor and books were stacked on every available surface. The office had been his only condition in a family home. Even the keyboard of his laptop was littered with printouts of resumes.

And that's how she found him. A messy postgrad student standing alone in his office, sifting through papers and books. His hair, though recently trimmed, stood mostly on end and his sweater wasn't quite enough to keep away the early October chill – he really needed drapes for the windows in the room before winter.

“Mister Fernandes?” she said softly from the door. He jumped. His fingers curled into the paper and wrinkled it.

“Yes?” Jellal straightened and cleared his throat. “Are you...” he trailed off and poked around the mess of papers again. “I'm so sorry, I don't...”

“Miss Scarlet,” she offered, stepping around the boxes between the door and his desk. He shook her hand briefly before realizing her resume was the one he'd crumpled. Of course it was.

“Forgive me, this office is a nightmare right now. I'm...” he trailed off again and pushed the fluffy cat from his chair. The cat belonged to his oldest niece. Though obviously a boy, she'd named him Lily.

“A mess?” her smile was distracting but the way the afternoon sun glinted off the violent red of her hair was even more distracting. “It's okay, I understand. I only recently graduated myself. I can't imagine going for a doctorate. I don't think I'd survive.”

Jellal removed his glasses, took a seat in his chair, and motioned to the one across from him. “It's exhausting,” he agreed, glancing over her resume quickly.

“I think I should just go ahead and tell you, Mister Fernandes, I don't have any experience in nannying.” She bit her lip and her shoulders fell. “Or even babysitting.”

He scanned her wrinkled resume and tried his best to flatten it out.

“I just thought I'd get that out there before... this went any further... Mister Fernandes?” Her expression was concerned curiosity when he finally looked up. He blinked.

“Well, of course you don't have experience,” he said incredulously. Her resume, besides having no experience, was impressive. She had a master's degree in early childhood development and had taken a brief position as a councilor at a Montessori School out of state. “You just graduated.”

“Lots of people want experience,” she offered helpfully. “And relevant references.”

“Oh.” He blinked again. “Well do you?”

“Do I what?”

“Have relevant references.”

“I just said I didn't.”

“Then why did you bring it up?

Her eyes narrowed and she licked her lips. “I'm sorry but do you have a clue what you're doing?”

“No.” Jellal sighed and leaned back in his chair.

“I see.” She shifted in her own chair and cleared her throat. “Maybe you could tell me a little more about what you're looking for in a nanny and I'll decide if I can handle that.”

“Right.” He sat up again and heaved a deep breath. “The oldest just turned seven. Yukino is only three, though, and for now she's staying with a babysitter down the street but I'd like for that to stop once I hire you. A bus comes for Sorano in the mornings at the corner around seven-thirty, and brings her home again at three-thirty-ish.”

“That sounds manageable,” she said with a nod. “What else?”

He fidgeted a bit before pressing on. “I'm hoping maybe for help with some extraneous kid-related things, too.”

“Like?”

“I am absolutely capable of handling my own laundry, I would never ask you to do that, but –” He sighed defeatedly. “Little girls just go through so many clothes. I can't keep up.”

“So laundry? I think I can handle that. What about meals?”

“Uh,” Jellal felt the tips of his ears burn. He hadn't expected the process of explaining how utterly inept he was to be so embarrassing. Maybe if Miss Scarlet were older and not so obviously an age peer he'd feel less exposed. “I'm afraid my skills in the kitchen are limited to pasta and sauce. The quality control department has put me on notice.”

Miss Scarlet stifled a laugh. “I think I can help out with that, too. I'll need a list of known allergies or any limitations or preferences.”

“Of course,'' he blurted. Did the children have allergies? He thought for sure he'd have been informed if either of them had life threatening allergies. “And, uh, I'm not sure about your living situation but the gable on the roof is actually a third floor apartment. The realtor called it a granny's quarters.” Jellal flushed. “But obviously you aren't a granny and I'm not asking you to –”

“I'll have a look. I've been staying at a hotel near the airport in Tacoma and haven't worked out residency yet.”

“Perfect.” Jellal suddenly stood and dislodged the array of resumes hanging over the edge of his desk. He scrambled to keep them from falling all over the floor but failed miserably. “I can show you the house now. The girls are down the street with Yukino's sitter. I told her I was doing interviews today and –”

“Can I meet them?”

“The sitter?”

“No, Mister Fernandes, the children.” Miss Scarlet smiled in a way that was almost a smirk.

“Right.” He stopped in front of her and hid his hands in his pockets. “Listen, I'm sure I come across as wildly unprofessional. I apologize if that's making you uncomfortable. Please just let me know what you need and I'll do my best to accommodate you.”

“I think we're probably on the same level there. Maybe if I had more experience with a position like this I would have a better feel of how to judge your situation. Why don't you show me the house and then we'll talk about salary and the things I need. If we can come to an agreement, I'd like to meet the kids and go from there.”

“That sounds great, Miss Scarlet.” He smiled and then she smiled and it was a great effort to turn away and lead her through the house.

Miss Scarlet's expression remained neutral throughout the entire tour until they reached the laundry room attached to the mud room. She quirked an eyebrow at the piles of clothes that hadn't been sorted at all. When they reached the front room, she began in a business-like voice.

“Who does your shopping?”

“Me.”

“I think you should let me do that.”

“Right. Okay.”

She eyed him closely before going on. “I'll need a minimum of five full days completely off duty for myself a month. I don't mind including the kids for small personal errands but the five days a month will be a requirement.”

“That sounds reasonable. If you need more, don't hesitate to bring it up.”

“I won't. Since you're looking for both a nanny and some general housekeeping during the week, I think a salary around –”

“I was thinking seven-eighty a week to start?” he blurted. It was more than his sister's attorney had recommended but after spending the last two hours with Miss Scarlet, Jellal didn't want anyone else. “There's a car in the garage that belonged to my sister and you can have full use of it for nanny stuff. And a phone. I can get you a phone. We can outfit the apartment on the third floor however you like.”

“What if I wanted a pet?”

Jellal blinked. He hadn't expected such a request. Did he care if she wanted a pet? She laughed lightly and the sound was the most levitating thing he'd heard in weeks.

“I'm kidding, Mister Fernandes. How –” The sound of the children bursting through the front door rattled in Jellal's skull. He still wasn't quite used to the way they charged into a room. His two nieces, followed by their exasperated sitter, stopped short in the archway between the living room and foyer.

“I'm sorry, Jellal, but Yuki is running a temperature and my daughter can't be exposed.”

“It's fine, Bisca, I can take it from here.” Though he'd expected it, Jellal was still surprised when Bisca offered Miss Scarlet her hand.

“You must be the new nanny,” she said with a wide smile. “I need to get back home to my daughter but I wanted to introduce myself. If you ever need anything don't hesitate to ask.”

“Well,” Jellal cut in. “She's not –”

“I'm Erza,” Miss Scarlet offered with her own smile. “And thank you!”

“Jellal is so green with these girls, they just stampede all over him sometimes,” Bisca added. Jellal wanted to usher his neighbor out the door but his mouth felt full of cotton. “We should have a drink on your soonest day off. I'd love a friend close by. My husband travels a lot and this neighborhood can be so cliquish.”

“I can imagine.”

Bisca finally took a few steps back and exhaled. “Well, I'll get out of your hair.” She turned to Jellal briefly. “I'm so glad you finally found someone, Jellal. You need it.”

Jellal's headache flared. He liked Bisca, and she was wonderful as a caregiver, but she talked a lot.

“It was nice meeting you,” Miss Scarlet said as the woman turned to leave. Jellal reached up for his glasses – the habit of wiping his lenses on his shirt when nervous was an old one – but remembered he'd left them in his office. The two nearly identical girls stared wide eyed at Miss Scarlet. Only Yukino moved toward her and slid a hand into hers.

“I'm so sorry about Bisca,” Jellal offered. “She has a way of commanding a room.”

“It's fine, Mister Fernandes.” She glanced over the children who only blinked in silence. Jellal couldn't recall the house ever being so quiet since they'd moved in.

“Are you really our new nanny?” Sorano asked, scooping Lily up from the floor.

“Well –”

Jellal cleared his throat. “Yes. I mean, if she wants.”

Miss Scarlet's mouth twitched into a grin. Yukino still clutched at her hand. Around her neck was the ever present purple feather boa she loved so much. It was flecked with silver foil and she wore it nearly everywhere.

“I think we have a deal, Mister Fernandes.”

“When can you start?”

“Are you fun?” Sorano blurted. “The last lady was old.”

Miss Scarlet quirked an eyebrow. “Old?”

“Like super old,” Sorano rolled her eyes dramatically. “Will you take us places? And can we do fun stuff outside?”

“Um, yeah, we can do that.”

“Are you gonna live above us in the room with the sink?”

“Room with the sink?”

Jellal curbed the instinct to sigh. “She means the apartment on the third floor. It's not a room with a sink, that's a kitchenette.”

“Whatever.” Sorano shrugged.

“I think so,” Miss Scarlet answered. “Your uncle and I still have some details to work out.”

“I'm hungry. Let me know when we can eat something that's not spaghetti for dinner.” Sorano wandered off toward the kitchen. Yukino giggled at Erza's side and, still clutching her hand, gazed up at her with wide brown eyes.

“Sorano is opinionated,” Jellal offered. “I think it's part of her package.”

“It's fine, Mister Fernandes.”

Yukino yawned and tugged on the edge of Jellal's sweater. She finally released Miss Scarlet and reached upwards at him. With minimal awkwardness he pulled her into his arms and she settled against his hip.

“I've got to get her in bed,” he said apologetically. “When were you looking to start?”

“I had my things shipped to a storage unit and they're scheduled to arrive early next week. I can have the truck re-routed here, if that's okay?”

“That's fine.”

“And I can start in two days. I have some other things I should handle first.”

“Of course. I'll get someone upstairs to clean everything out for you before Friday.”

“Perfect! I'll make a list of items I need from you to make things run a little more smoothly and email it to you.” Jellal's mind raced. He had no idea what she meant.

“Don't worry, Mister Fernandes, it's just stuff like signed letters to present at doctor's appointments and to the school. I'll provide the letters and you'll just need to sign them.”

“Thank you so much, Miss Scarlet, I really apologize for being so unprepared.”

“Under the circumstances, I think I can let it slide.” If she hadn't been smiling at him, he'd have felt like a heel. Miss Scarlet turned to leave but stopped at the archway. “And, please, we'll be seeing a lot of one another. Call me Erza.”

“Right,” he blurted. “Erza.” Yukino laughed softly and poked him in the shoulder. “I'm Jellal. You can just call me that.”

“I'll get that list to you by tomorrow, Jellal,” Erza waved at Yukino before leaving them alone in the living room.

“She's got pretty hair,” Yukino whispered just before yawning.

“She does,” Jellal murmured, tucking her under his chin. “Let's get you in bed, okay? Want a movie?” Yukino nodded and sighed softly.

Winter

He found her alone at the dining table - the fancy one they never used because children plus carpet plus food weren't always a good combination. She was hunched over with her chin resting on her arms that were folded on the table. In front of her was an open shipping box, emptied, and a prettily wrapped holiday gift. Jellal took a seat across from her and slid one of the hot mugs toward her side of the table. Ezra took a surprisingly long gulp of the hot toddy before smirking.

"How did you know I'd need a stiff drink before opening this package?"

"Call it a lucky guess," he answered with a grin. "You've been sitting here since you got home and I've been trying to work out how soon I could join you before you wouldn't think I'm nosey for offering."

Ezra sighed and swirled the mix of whiskey, honey, and tea in her mug.

"It's that bad, huh?"

"Nothing from my mother is ever completely good."

"So no chance of an innocuous gift of socks or a pen set you'll never use?"

"I would never be so lucky."

Jellal poked the box around in a circle with his fingers. "It's pretty at least."

"She would never send something ugly." Erza sat up straight and chugged the rest of her drink and set the mug aside. "Time to do the adult thing, I guess."

Jellal quirked an eyebrow but followed suit with his own drink. The whiskey already made him feel on the fuzzier side. He watched Erza shred the paper more than truly necessary. The gift box was small and inside was an envelope. She scowled before opening the envelope and scowled even more when she peeked inside.

"Oh, for fuck's sake," she blurted and then flushed. "Sorry."

"The girls are asleep, it's fine." Jellal couldn't quite help the way he leaned forward on the heel of his hand and smiled - he would've been able to help it if he weren't riding a whiskey buzz but that was neither here nor there. Erza stuffed the envelope back into the gift box and unceremoniously tossed it back into the shipping box along with the shreds of gift wrap.

"No pens or socks?"

"Nope," she said with an annoyed finality. "Plane tickets."

"Is she offering a vacation? Because if you need time off -"

Erza laughed loosely and stood. "I'll need a second drink to explain it."

He followed her into the kitchen. Erza skipped the tea and poured only whiskey first for herself before handing over the bottle. After a sip, she grinned.

"The plane tickets are twofold. She wants me back home and by only sending the tickets and nothing else she's letting me know my life here, and my stuff, aren’t important. Everything is replaceable to her and if it doesn't fit into her box, it doesn't matter."

"All that from plane tickets?"

"My mother is a complex woman, Jellal, I learned to play the game early in life."

"I'm starting to think my sister was the same way."

"Did she not approve of your field of study?"

"I don't think she cared one way or the other. But I do think she knew she was dying long before ever telling anyone but her attorney."

"Women are excellent secret keepers."

"She left me enough to pay off all my loans and to live comfortably as long as I stay here and raise her daughters. Your salary comes from the trust. Everything to do with this house and the girls comes from a trust I have nothing to do with. I'm not privy to exactly how much there is or how it works. I've only been told there's enough."

"Wow," Erza said, leaning against the counter. "My mother is at least transparent if you know how to look at her. She came by her money when my father died."

"I'm sorry."

"Thanks," she said before finishing off her whiskey. "But I didn't even know the guy. He was gone before I was out of diapers. For all I know she killed him."

Jellal stared at her in a baffled stupor.

"I'm kidding," Erza laughed. "Kind of. I just don't know what happened except that he's dead and mom controls the money."

"Well, we have that in common then." Jellal divided the remaining whiskey between their mugs. "What will you do?"

"Throw the boxes away and pretend they don't exist."

"Is that your own message to her?"

"It's my way of not responding to what isn’t the first or last attempt by her to control my life. I agreed to go to school at home in California and I took a job she approved of!" Erza was visibly more sloshy than she'd been twenty minutes before. "I even got engaged!"

Jellal quirked an eyebrow. He'd been curious about Erza for months. Most of his questions revolved around why such an educated woman was seeking employment as a nanny when she was so grossly over qualified. He could admit he had an inappropriate crush on her and the mention of a fiancé intrigued him.

"And yet, here you are husbandless."

"Smooth, Jellal," she said around another laugh. "He was a possessive idiot. I wanted to work, he said no. I demanded to work, he told me I was difficult."

"Are you?"

"What?"

"Difficult."

Erza turned to face him fully and bit her lip in a grin. "You tell me."

"I find you extremely easy to get along with and a delight to be around." Completely without reservation he reached up to touch a strand of her hair that clung to the fleece shoulder of her sweater. "Even if you do shock me sometimes to make yourself laugh."

"That's just part of my charm," she said softly, inching toward him. "And you're easy to fool. You take everything literally."

"My mother insisted I was a charming boy but far too serious as a student. She passed away almost ten years ago."

"I'm sorry," Erza whispered.

He shrugged. "It's been a long time and she had a happy life."

"So there's parts of you that aren't lost up in the stars?" Erza blushed and cleared her throat when he tilted his head to the right. He didn't remember telling her his field of study. "You left some books out a few weeks ago. I was curious."

"I wouldn't have minded if you'd asked."

"I didn't want to pry."

"I wouldn't have considered it prying."

She smiled again and leaned into the brush of his fingers against her cheek. "What are you studying, Jellal?"

"Astrophysics."

"Sounds complicated."

"There's a lot of complicated parts of my life but astrophysics isn't one of them."

"Yeah?"

"For example, my current conundrum."

"Which is?"

"You."

"What about me?"

"I can't seem to stop thinking about you in a way an employer should never think of his nanny."

"That's an interesting coincidence," Erza said wrapping her fingers around his wrist. "Because I can't seem to stop thinking about you in a way a nanny should never think of her employer."

She didn't pull his hand away and when his fingertips brushed the curve of her neck she only tightened her grip on his wrist. Jellal moved like a man who'd never kissed anyone before, even though he had plenty of experience. The awkwardness didn't ease off until his lips finally pressed against hers. She tasted like whiskey and honey and tea and when she parted her lips to kiss him back there was a hint of the peppermint candies Yukino liked to crunch on when she needed a sugar fix in the late afternoon.

Erza was intoxicating. Even more so than the whiskey in his stomach. Her arms looped around his neck and Jellal didn't realize his hand had slipped beneath the bottom of her fleece sweatshirt until the pads of his fingers made contact with her back. He pulled her flush against him and the sound that came from her mouth flipped his stomach upside down. There was something about the way she kissed him and the way her hair slid through his fingers. He liked that her eyes smiled right along with her mouth and how she was so completely competent in all the ways he wasn't.

The sound of Lily's claws skittering across the floor tiles shattered the moment. Erza gasped and jumped back. She blinked and her hand flew to her lips in surprise.

"Am I fired?" she gasped in horror.

Jellal's head still felt full of the taste of her lips and he took a moment to focus past the memory and the lingering buzz. "What? No!" He exclaimed, stumbling over the words. "Why would you be fired?"

"For sexually harassing you," she whispered.

"You... you think you were sexually harassing me? Jesus, Erza, I think by all standards I was the one sexually harassing you! I'm so sorry!"

"No, no, you're just drunk!"

"That's not really better."

Erza bit her lip again and raked a hand through her hair. "We're both not quite... sober."

Jellal took a step back from her and hid his hands in his pockets. He didn't want to move away from her but he had to. "What can I do to fix it? Please don't quit."

"I don't want to quit," she whispered.

"Erza, I swear I can do better than this. I'm not a guy who just blunders ahead kissing people with no thoughts on - I mean, I realize that's what I just did but -"

She reached out suddenly and gripped his forearm. "Stop."

"Okay," he whispered, unable to disobey her.

"We're both adults. I work for you and there's a mutual attraction. We had some drinks and had a moment. We can get past this."

"Yeah," he agreed, even though he didn't actually want to get past anything. He wanted to kiss her again. Cold reality rattled in his head when Lily hopped up to the counter between them. "I actually had a reason for coming down here." Erza released his arm and pulled Lily against her chest. "And that was?"

"I'm going away for two weeks. I need to complete the last of this credit before the new year. Everything after that can be done with my professor here but I can't get around the requirement." Jellal scrubbed his hands over his face and sighed. He felt sober in his head but his body still hummed. "I'll be back three days before Christmas."

"I can handle all that. Sorano's winter break starts in a couple of days."

"I need to be back in Palo Alto by next Monday so I'm flying out on Sunday. I was hoping to get a ride to the airport with you and the girls?"

"I think Yukino would like that. She'll miss you."

"She's attached." Jellal sighed. "That's why I, we can't lose you, Erza. I'm sorry for kissing you."

"I care about the girls, and you," she tacked on quickly. "I shouldn't have let you kiss me."

Jellal nodded. "I'll email you my itinerary."

"Yeah."

They stood silently in the kitchen before Erza swept past him still clutching Lily to her chest.

He hadn't expected to feel homesick after only a week in Palo Alto but when his mind wasn't detangling theory, he was stuck back in Seattle. Were the girls okay? He knew they were. Yukino, and even Sorano, Skyped him almost every night. Despite her independent nature, Sorano asked him more than once when he was coming back. Erza was always in the background, folding down sheets and blankets. He couldn't help but get hung up on the way wisps of hair fell around her face as she leaned over the beds. The trails of scarlet had almost all his attention when his nieces spiraled into the inevitable scuffle.

"Will you be home for Christmas?" Yukino asked, adjusting her purple boa.

"I'll be home on the twenty-second," Jellal said, adjusting his glasses and glancing over his phone calendar. "That's in five more days."

"Five days?" Yukino whispered fretfully. "Are you sure you won't forget?"

"He's an astrologer, Yuki, he only forgets silly stuff like scarves," Sorano corrected. Erza could be heard in the background laughing.

"I promise I won't forget."

"Can we do the cookies when you get home? Erza said we should wait for you."

“That sounds like fun." Jellal's phone chimed with a message from his classmate. "Alright, girls, pass me off to Erza. I think it's probably bedtime."

There was a combined chorus of protests and the tablet was left to fall on its back. For several moments all he could see was the ceiling but he heard Erza coaxing the girls into bed. The room went dark and he saw nothing at all until the low light of the hallway made the falling bun of Erza's hair glow.

"So what's your sign?" He asked in the flirtatious tone that seemed to sneak into all their private Skype conversations.

"That's the worst pickup line I've ever heard," she said with a laugh.

"I just figured that since I’m an astrologer now I should try and calculate your future."

Erza laughed again softly and propped the tablet against the lamp he knew sat on the tea table beside the living room couch. She leaned against the arm and gathered her hair over her shoulder.

"I'm a Taurus."

Jellal tapped out a quick google search and ignored the messages from his classmate. "According to my crystal ball, you're patient, sensible, and reliable with an excellent sense of humor."

"Does it count as a sense of humor when it's just me saying things to throw you off guard for my own pleasure?"

"I think it does."

"What does your crystal ball say about my immediate future."

"I'm seeing strawberry vanilla macarons and the chamomile tea you save for just before bed."

Erza's cheeks dusted a shade pink he recognized even in the lamplight. "That's a very observant crystal ball you have there."

"It wouldn't be doing its job if it weren't observant. It helps that the subject is so captivating," he said softly.

"And what about you?" she asked in a low volume that matched his. "What's in your future?"

"A boring chat with a classmate and a night of exhausting study. The ball is clouded, though, which means I'm distracted."

"By what?"

"Everything I miss that's not here," he hedged.

"You'll be back soon."

"Yeah." The word came out as a whisper and his phone chimed again.

"You should answer that." Erza sat up and glanced over her shoulder toward the kitchen. "I'm late for my date with cookies and tea."

"Right."

"Goodnight," she said with half a grin.

"Goodnight, Erza." When her image disappeared, Jellal flipped over on his back. He had work to do but he couldn't think of anything other than strawberry vanilla macarons and chamomile tea.

Yukino took the longest to fall asleep. She wouldn't let go of his sweater sleeve until her eyes drifted closed. Her purple boa had been passed down to the stuffed polar bear that sat at the foot of her bed along with the remains of the candy and trinkets that filled her stocking earlier that morning. The new boa, a bright pink one, hung from the post of her headboard.

Sorano's blankets were tangled around her knees and ankles. She scowled in her sleep when he pulled everything free and tucked her in properly. Despite being difficult sometimes she was just as insecure as Yukino. She slept surrounded by an army of stuffed animals. None of them matched but she always noticed when one went missing.

Jellal took one last look around the room before pulling the door closed. The second floor tended to be the warmest in the house but he wasn't quite ready to be alone just yet.

He found Erza stretched across the couch with Lily on her chest. Her fingers smoothed over the grouch of a cat's downy ears. The rainbow sweater Sorano had picked out for him was draped over the pillows behind Erza’s head. Lily probably hassled Erza to get it off him the second Sorano was out of view. Jellal could hear the rumbling purr from the archway.

"That cat is a ham," he said, taking a seat on the floor near her feet. She wore the fuzzy socks he'd given her to make up for her mother’s gift of plane tickets. He owed her a much better gift for taking such good care of his nieces but the socks made her smile.

Christmas was a wholly different experience with children. The day started early and now all he wanted was this.

"He and I have grown to love one another." As if to drive the point home, Lily stretched one paw toward Erza's shoulder and squeezed his yellow eyes shut. "See? He's a sweetheart."

"He's an old grouch that only likes girls."

"I think you're jealous."

"Very." Jellal grinned at her boldly. "He's got the best seat in the house." Since his return from Palo Alto the Skype flirting had turned into something much more tangible.

Erza rolled her eyes and hefted Lily up to the back cushions. He protested but resettled quickly. Jellal twisted around and crawled over her. She was soft beneath him and her fingertips lightly traced the tattoo that stretched over his eye and cheek.

"I know we agreed to -"

"Get past this?" she finished with a breath.

"I don't know if I want to."

"I definitely don't want to."

When he kissed her this time there wasn't a drop of alcohol in his system. The sticky fuzz in his head was all Erza. She was sharp like peppermint and sweet like sugar cookies and rich like red velvet. He knew he shouldn't take too much but she bent her leg and he felt her thigh press into his side. Erza didn't let him simply lay over her and take. Her hands were beneath his sweater and he knew she felt him hardening between her legs.

The sound of her ringtone was jarring. Erza slid her arms around his waist quickly and trapped him between her thighs.

"Who's that?" He breathed against her lips.

"It's nothing."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive."

The phone went silent and he felt her smile. But she groaned loudly when the ringtone started over a moment later. Jellal dropped his mouth to her neck and left three kisses before pulling back.

"You really should take that. It could be important."

Erza exhaled harshly and snatched her phone from the tea table. "Mom always ruins everything." Her eyes found his again and she was apologetic. "I'm sorry. She won't go away unless I speak to her."

"It's fine," he said scooting back to the other side of the couch. "We really shouldn't -"

"No," she whispered. "We shouldn't. Merry Christmas, Jellal."

Erza cleared the living room and he heard her finally take her mother's call on the way up to her apartment. Jellal glared at Lily who only swished his tail.

"Somehow I think think this is your fault," he said to the old cat. Jellal stood and pulled the lamp cord before taking the stairs back up to the second floor. His bed was cold but what did he expect? The idea of warming it with Erza was ludicrous. He did actually know better than to dry hump her on the couch where either one of the girls could see.

No more kissing. No more anything. He was a grown man with sense. No more making out with the nanny.

He could, however, tend to the hard problem between his own legs. In his head he could have her any way he wanted with no repercussions. Professional or otherwise.

The girls never made it to midnight. Jellal rung in the new year alone while Erza, Sorano, and Yukino slept on the couch. One at a time he transferred his nieces to their beds and when he returned downstairs alone, Erza was awake and confused.

“Did I miss everything?”

“More or less,” he said with a grin, swooping down to pick up the piles of throw pillows that had been kicked to the floor by little feet. “I expected as much from the kids but you, Erza? Disgraceful.”

“I suppose I'm getting up there in age,” she agreed with a sigh.

“Maybe we should go back to calling the third floor a granny’s quarters.” He wasn’t fast enough to dodge the pillow lobbed at his head.

“I was going to offer you some of the belated Christmas gift I got from a friend but now I don't think you deserve it.” She stood and fluffed her hair.

“If it's more macarons I think I can live without the extra sugar.”

“Not even close,” Erza laughed. “Come upstairs with me and bring some glasses.”

Jellal grabbed two of the small glasses typically reserved for juice and followed Erza to the third floor. He hadn't been up to her apartment since just before she moved in. Considering recent developments he wondered if he should really be up on the third floor at all.

He stopped at the open doorway and almost didn't recognize the space. She’d filled it with her own belongings and everything about it screamed Erza.

“Wow,” he murmured. “I never thought this suite would look like anything other than an empty dorm.

“I’m taking that as a compliment,” she said pulling a box from the cabinet above her small refrigerator. It had a gold leaf logo embossed on the side he couldn't quite make out.

“I meant it as one.” Erza smiled at him and waved him over to her table - or maybe it was a desk. However she used it, the thing was solid wood and he appreciated the deep cherry of the grain. Erza opened this gift box with much more care than the one sent by her mother.

“My best friend from childhood married a guy who's family owns a vineyard. She sends me bottles of all kinds of stuff. This brandy is her new favorite thing.” She peeled back the foil and twisted the cap off. Jellal handed over the glasses and when she poured small portions he caught the hints of vanilla. Upon closer inspection, the scent was very strong. He was glad the stuff tasted sweeter than it smelled.

“I’m not much of a brandy drinker but this is nice.”

“Yeah?” Erza knocked back the whole measure at once and took a moment to form her own assessment. “This is totally not my thing,” she said with a laugh even as she poured a second round.,

“It's a nice bottle though.” He picked up the bottle and inspected the label.

“She’s got entire shelves filled with fancy bottles.”

“Full ones?”

“Oh, no,” she laughed again. “Mirajane’s always been a bit of a lush. The bottles probably don't have time to collect dust and sit in various states of half-empty.”

“So she has an experienced palette?”

“Indeed.” Erza said leaving her empty glass beside his on the table. “I asked you up here for two reasons, actually. The brandy was only half of it.”

“What’s on your mind?”

“You.” She shook her head and tossed her hair. “Us. I mean, this.” Erza gestured between the two of them. “We’re both adults and this thing where we kiss and hump like teenagers on the couch and then back away like it was nothing but a big oops is ridiculous.”

She was speaking very fast and Jellal quirked an eyebrow. He’d never seen her both determined and buzzed before.

“I like you, Jellal, but I also like my job. I can’t keep up with these random moments of crashing into one another.”

“Erza -”

She pressed a hand to his chest and shook her head. “I have a solution.”

“Oh,” he breathed in relief. For a moment he thought she'd planned on telling him everything was over as her New Year's resolution, which, he recognized would be completely fair. Her hand slid over his chest and up to his shoulder.

“I can compartmentalize if you can. During the day nothing changes. I do my job, and you finish your degree. Once the girls are in bed, we can set aside time.” She bit her lip in reservation. “Right? That’s a good plan, yeah? I can’t take wild abandon, Jellal. It’s too risky.”

“You really thought this through.”

“I’m sensible, remember?” She smiled and suddenly there wasn’t much space between them. “I can’t have an affair with my boss if there’s no plan.”

“This is how I know I made the right choice hiring you, Erza,” he whispered, seeking her lips. “You're so smart and practical.

Kissing Erza was the most selfish brand of wish fulfillment. He shouldn’t be in her apartment at all much less tangling his fingers in her hair. They’d never been so alone before and the palms of his hands didn't hesitate to find the bare skin beneath her shirt. Erza’s fingers hooked in the belt loops of his pants and she separated her lips from his. Her eyes pinned him to the floor as she pulled her shirt over her head and tossed it aside. Jellal followed her across the small living space into her bedroom and his shirt joined hers on the floor.

All of her skin was soft and he took the opportunity to kiss every inch of it. She had a symphony of gasps and sighs. He hoped he'd have the opportunity to hear them all. Erza was practically perfect in every way. Where he pushed, she pulled. When he breathed in, she breathed out. She was both overwhelming and precise. The feel of her body beneath him was so much more exquisite now that there were no layers between them but the real delicacy of the evening was her weight above him. Erza had a touch that seared him all the way though. Her final sigh of the night was possibly the most decadent thing he’d heard in his life.

Scarlet touched him everywhere and he curled strands of it around his fingers. Erza hadn’t moved off him and he wasn’t going to be the one to break the spell of the moment. Finally she leveled her eyes with his and kissed him in a way that made him want her again.

“Can we do this?” She asked against his lips. “Or was tonight a New Year's one off?”

“I can keep the downstairs and upstairs separate, Erza. I like you too and I don't have one offs. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t feel something.”

Erza smiled and kissed him again, softer this time. “You should go before you fall asleep and the girls find us up here.”

“Have they come up here on their own before?”

“Only a couple of times while you were away. But if they woke up and you weren’t in your room, the next place they'd hit would be here.”

“I’m sure you’re right.” Even as he said so, he didn't move. She kissed him once more before sitting up and tucking the sheet under her arms. Jellal gathered his clothes and stood. “I’ll see you at breakfast, Erza.” She grinned and fell backwards into her pillows. It wasn’t until he crawled beneath his own blankets that he realized he'd left his t-shirt on the third floor.

Spring

“Why do I have to make one for everybody in my class?” Sorano asked from her seat at the kitchen table. “I don't even like everybody!”

“Because it’s polite,” Jellal said over his shoulder. Dinner looked questionable but Erza had the night off. He already had the pizza delivery app open just in case things went south.

“Sometimes being polite sucks,” Sorano declared, sealing off the last envelope. Yukino giggled from her spot across from her sister where she drew sloppy pink and red hearts over Sorano’s extra cards.

“That's a sad fact of life,” Jellal muttered.

“What’s for dinner?” Her voice was from directly beside him now. Sorano leaned over and peered into the pan. “Should it smell like that?” She whispered.

“I followed all Erza’s instructions.” Jellal slighted and transferred the cut of meat to a board. “Let’s find out.” The beef was crisp and brown on the outside but the inside was another story.

“I think it’s still mooing,” Sorano said, crossing her arms over her chest.

“I think you’re right.” He hated to waste the meat so he moved it to a baking dish for Erza to sort out another time. “Pizza then?”

“I’ll get your phone.”

Jellal spun around and took a seat next to Yukino. “These are pretty.”

“Thanks!” She pushed an especially garish one toward him and tossed the edge of her pink feather boa over her shoulder. “This one’s for you.”

“For me?” He exclaimed. “Thank you! I’ll put it on my desk.”

“Are you gonna make Erza a card, Uncle Jellal?” She asked softly. Innocently. Even though she couldn’t possibly know how he spent his late nights, the question still floored him.

“Why would I make Erza a Valentine’s Day card?” He tried to pose the query as casually as possible.

“Because you like her hair.” Yukino glanced up at him and smiled in her sweet way. “Is red your favorite color?”

“Well -”

Sorano leaned over the table and passed Jellal his phone. “You look at Erza the way the farm boy looks at Buttercup in that movie Yukino likes so much.”

“I don't -”

“Can we order pizza now?” Sorano cut him off and he wasn’t altogether sorry.

The three of them ate at the kitchen table and afterward Jellal helped Sorano pack away her cards in her backpack. Erza didn’t return home until very late. Jellal was already in his bed with his laptop when she stopped by his bedroom door on her way upstairs.

“I’m assuming the pizza boxes in the garbage are a good indicator that dinner didn’t turn out?”

Jellal pulled the glasses from his face and began to clean the lenses. “I don’t think a successful roast is ever in my future.”

“Did your crystal ball tell you that?” She asked softly with a grin that didn’t quite reach her eyes.

“No, Sorano did. I put it back in the fridge. Maybe it’s salvageable.”

“Maybe.” Erza fidgeted with the cuffs of her jacket.

“What’s wrong?”

“My mom flew up to see me,” she whispered. Jellal tried to keep his reaction as calm as possible. “I had dinner with her tonight.”

“And how did that go?”

Erza sighed heavily and Jellal set aside his glasses and closed his laptop. He crossed the room and pulled her gently beyond the door and pushed it closed.

“You don’t have to talk about it, Erza,” he whispered, leaving a kiss on her forehead. “I’ve never seen you this down before.”

“We fought. She backed off in the end but I don’t think everything she said was wrong.” Erza’s eyes were wary and he hated it. He didn’t like acknowledging that their relationship was not only deeply flawed but possibly temporary. “She accused me of fucking my boss to pad my resume.”

Jellal tried to remain impassive but he knew he failed miserably. “Is that -”

“No, of course not!” Erza scowled and pushed past him. She shrugged off her jacket and tossed it on an empty chair. “I don’t mean to be rude, Jellal, but I could have a job in just about any school in Seattle if I wanted. When it comes to early education I don’t have to pad anything.”

Jellal wished his pajama pants had pockets. His hands landed on his hips because he didn’t know where else to put them. “Is that what you want? I don’t think I can match a proper salary or benefits or -”

Erza’s arms slid around his waist and she pressed her face into his chest. “I’m not saying that’s what I want. I don’t even think she meant what she said.”

“How does she know that we - I mean -”

“My mother is a shrewd woman. She probably has an actual crystal ball. She said my life is out of control and I don’t know what I’m doing.” When Erza pulled away her cheeks were wet. “She’s right, Jellal, I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“This is my fault. I should’ve never -”

“We went into this together, Jellal,” she whispered. “I hate that she made me feel insecure about a decision I - we made. My feelings haven’t changed.”

The words were heavy on the tip of his tongue and he couldn’t have stopped them if he’d tried. “I don’t think mine ever will.” It was a dangerously bold thing to admit but he didn’t regret it.

Her mouth didn’t fall open. Her eyes didn’t widen. She only kissed his lips and took his confession inside of her. For better or worse, Erza never made it up to the third floor that night.

She didn't mention her mother again and Jellal didn’t ask. He thought if she had more to say on the matter, she’d bring it up herself.

Jellal’s intent wasn't to eavesdrop. The hour was late and after spending most of his day stuck in his office, he’d only meant to seek her out to say good night. He heard Erza’s voice first and her mother’s over a phone speaker second.

“Mom, it doesn’t matter. I need to be on my own.”

“Oh, honey, you aren’t on your own. You’ve gone from living off one trust to another. This one just comes with an attractive employer who doesn’t mind fishing off the company dock.”

“I’m not a fish, mother.”

“I never said you were, Erza, it’s a figure of speech. I just think -”

“I already know what you think,” Erza snapped. “You said enough at dinner last week. I need you to give me space.”

“Erza, love, the last time I gave you space you brought home Simon. How can I be sure this Fernandes man isn’t the same type? He is dabbling with the help.”

“I’m not - wait, what?” Jellal heard a fumbling noise and what sounded like blankets being shaken out. “What do you mean about Simon? I dated him to please you!”

“Why on earth would you think an oaf like that would please me? Both he and his father were insufferable.”

“But… He was in my class and a legacy and -”

“Honestly, Erza, sometimes I think you don’t know me at all.”

“That’s the most relatable thing you’ve ever said to me,” Erza muttered.

“I think it’s possible we’re both reading the same book, love, but we’re on very different pages. I trust your judgement when it comes to what you do with your degree or where you find employment. You are a capable woman in all ways.”

“Mom,” Erza’s whisper was the quiet kind that came before tears.

“I only worry that give too freely. You’re a natural nurturer, Erza. This man, your employer, what does he want from you? What does he stand to gain by having you in his bed? Is he the type to get bored and put you out?”

“No,” she said quickly. “I don’t think so.”

“Do you love him?”

“I -”

Jellal couldn’t catch a breath. He really should’ve left Erza to her phone call but his feet felt as if they were cemented to the floor.

“Does he love you?” Her mother pressed.

“I don’t know.”

Jellal’s stomach and heart sank. How could she not know? He supposed that would be because he’d never explicitly told her.

“Can we continue this another night, mom? It’s been a long day.”

Jellal didn’t stick around to hear the conclusion. He also had no interest in getting caught in the stairwell. As quickly and quietly as possible he retreated to his bedroom on the second floor.

Just after midnight the door cracked open and Erza slid through the darkness and under his blankets. Nothing was kept quarantined on the third floor anymore. Secrets were so hard. Her hands didn’t wander beneath his clothes and her kisses weren’t lustful precursors. She didn’t say a word before tucking herself into his side.

When Jellal woke in the morning, she was gone and the sheets were cold.

The cupcake top smeared with green icing for Saint Patrick’s Day left Jellal’s fingers stained with color. He stopped off in the bathroom on the ground floor of the building but couldn’t quite soap away the green. He supposed the embarrassment of green fingertips was not worse than hurting Yukino’s feelings if he’d rejected the offering.

His sister’s attorney occupied the entire seventh floor. Jellal wondered how a woman like Ms. Milkovich managed to retain such a friendly receptionist when he’d pegged her for a shark on their first meeting. The receptionist showed him down the hallway and through the office doors - no conference room this time.

“Mister Fernandes,” Ms. Mlkovich purred, standing from her desk and offering her hand. She waited for him to come to her with a smile like knives. “How’s everything coming along at home?” She asked as if she didn’t already know. “I understand that soon I’ll need to address you as Doctor Fernandes?”

“Mister if fine,” he muttered.

“Whatever you prefer.” She pointed at a cluster of chairs. Her nails were a deep blood red. The cushioned chairs felt as if they’d swallow him up. “What can I do for you today, Mister Fernandes?”

“I, uh, I just needed some clarifications on what happens once I graduate. I received an email from -”

“Navient, I assume? Your student loans and associated debts have been handled, Mister Fernandes.”

“Right. Well, I don't exactly know -”

“You’re free to seek whatever employment you like.”

“As long as we stay in Seattle.”

“Those are the conditions of the trust, yes. I’m sure someone like yourself won’t have a problem landing a position. Especially when the salary isn’t as much of a concern as it would be for someone else.”

“The trust does relieve those types of concerns, yes.”

“How is Miss Scarlet working out for you?” Jellal wasn’t sure if Ms. Milkovich’s expression sharpened or if it was his conflicted conscience that made it seem so.

“She’s great. The girls love her and she handles everything I can’t.”

“She’s a lovely woman.”

“Uh,” Jellal readjusted himself in his chair. “She is.”

“Very capable.”

“Yes.”

“Incredibly overqualified for her position, though. I can’t imagine what sorts of perks you had to offer her besides going over the suggested salary we discussed.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

Ms. Milkovich sighed in a deceptively casual way. “Have you spent much time with her?”

“I do see her every day.”

“Will you keep her on when Yukino starts school in the fall?”

Jellal’s mouth hung open dumbly. His mind wheeled.

“You won’t need a full-time nanny once the little one is in school.”

“I - I hadn’t considered -”

“I wouldn't imagine you’ve considered much at all Mister Fernandes. Has Miss Scarlet grown on you?”

“She -” Jellal deflated and wanted to implode in on himself. “I slept with her.”

“Of course you did.”

“It's been going on for months.”

“These things happen.” Her tone was sympathetic but her mouth was positively deadly.

“It’s completely unethical.”

“And why is that? Did you force her?”

“No! It’s nothing like that!”

“So she willingly seduced her employer?”

“It’s not like that either!”

“Then tell me how it is, Mister Fernandes. What exactly is the bee in your bonnet? Is it that you’ve become a ridiculously cliche man who bangs the nanny?”

“That’s a crass way of putting it.”

Ms. Milkovich shrugged. “If it helps, she’s technically an employee of the estate, not you. I suppose if you truly wanted to get technical, you’re an employee of the estate, as well.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“You provide a service for the deceased’s children. You raise them and see them safely into adulthood and their own inheritance in exchange for your life as it currently is. Resources, Mister Fernandes. I work for the children in trust until they come of age, and you work for me. Technically, Miss Scarlet works for me, as well.”

“Are you going to fire her?” He whispered in horror.

“Why would a fire a woman who, by all accounts, we are lucky to have?” Ms. Milkovich straightened in her chair. “Mister Fernandes, I don't care what you and Miss Scarlet do on your own time. If you want to keep her on as a caregiver even after Yukino starts school, that’s not my concern. I can’t deny that the children benefit from her presence, and as I’ve said before the best interests of the children are my job.”

“I don’t know what to do.”

Ms. Milkovich stood and smoothed her skirt. “Find a therapist if you’re so conflicted, Mister Fernandes. You can certainly afford one.”

Summer

The girls had been giggling and calling him Doctor for days. Jellal didn’t think he felt any different, though. He’d been offered a position at the University of Washington, which, felt sudden but he had no reason to decline. The commute would be taxing but he was already familiar with the department.

Yukino’s fourth birthday party was a day filled with pink and purple feathers, balloons, and a display of cupcakes that took up half the kitchen table. Erza had handled the guest list and planning. Everything went smoothly until Jellal found himself cornered in the kitchen by the mother of a child in one of his niece’s playgroups. He didn’t know her name at all, which made the whole situation worse.

“I find it hard to believe an attractive man like yourself will be a single father for long,” she said, licking a glob of pink icing off her fingertip.

“Well, I’m not really looking to -”

“Men always say that. Everybody’s looking for something.”

“I’m pretty busy actually. The girls, and school, and now this new job -”

“I heard you had a fancy job in the city.”

“Well, Bellevue is still part of the city so -”

She closed in on him like a tiger. “You talk a lot.” She leaned against the counter next to him so that they were touching. “Maybe we could go out sometime and do less talking?”

A spike in the sound of children shrieking startled him but the woman didn’t budge an inch.

“I think, uh -”

“Hey, Jenny,” Bisca’s voice made him jump and he’d never been happier to have the woman grab the room by the horns. “Your daughter is out there smearing blue shaving cream all over her cute little dress.”

“It’s wa-” Jellal snapped his mouth shut when Bisca's glared at him.

The woman, Jenny, smiled up at him once more before brushing past Bisca.

“You really know how to get yourself in a pickle don’t you, Jellal?” She asked, plucking one of the last cupcakes up for herself.

“I was just standing in here! She descended on me!”

“What’s going on?” Erza appeared in the doorway with a half-empty trash bag.

“Jellal got caught in Jenny’s net,” Bisca said with a wink.

“Oh, no, Jellal, I’m so sorry!’ Erza laughed. “I should’ve warned you about her.”

“She’s a predator.”

“You look like you came out of it okay,” Erza said with a smirk. She reached under the sink for a new trash bag and poked him in the ribs on her way back out to the party.

“You two seem close,” Bisca said offhandedly, peeling back the cupcake paper.

Jellal’s ears burned. “Do we? I mean, she’s here all the time so -”

“It’s important to like the people who take care of the kids.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“How long have you guys been together?”

Jellal froze. “Well she was hired last fall -”

“No, Jellal,” Bisca said softly. “That’s not what I’m asking.”

He slumped against the counter. “Is it so obvious?”

“Not really. I just know you pretty well and I’ve never seen you so comfortable. It was your pathetic awkwardness that demanded I introduce myself to you in the first place. I felt bad for Yukino when you quite obviously didn’t have a clue what you were doing.”

“Erza and I are complicated.”

“I don't need details, hon. She obviously makes you happy and the girls love her. You’ll work it out.” Bisca tossed the cupcake paper into the trash bag Erza left behind. “I’ll help you guys get rid of the guests. These kids look like they’re on their last leg.”

When Erza found him again the sun was hidden and he sat alone on the back porch. She plopped down beside him and took the beer bottle from his hand and finished it off.

“Are the girls asleep?” He asked.

“They passed smooth out. I noticed you got all the trash squared away.”

“I couldn’t stand the thought of waking up to the mess.”

“Well, you’ve set a precedent now. Every party from here on out will have to top the one before it.”

“Two of them a year.”

“Yep.”

“I think I can handle it if you’re here too.”

Erza’s head fell to his shoulder. “Things can’t stay as they are, Jellal. Everything changes always.”

“I don’t want them to change.”

She smiled up at him sadly. “You don’t get a say in that.”

“You’re right,” he said, staring down at his hands. “I know things can’t and won’t stay like they are now. But I don’t want to lose what we have.”

Erza curled her hands around his arm and sighed. “I don’t either.”

Autumn

Jellal pulled into the driveway and slid the key from the ignition. The day had been gruelingly long. Had he been so obnoxious as a postgrad? He’d like to think he wasn’t. The students he worked with annoyed him more than his nieces on their very worst days.

The house smelled like food and he made a quick stop in his office to shed his work thing. When he finally made it to the living room, Sorano nearly gave him a heart attack with a backflip off the couch.

“You’re home!” She exclaimed. “Erza said I could take gymnastics classes!”

“I said you could ask him about it,” Erza called from the kitchen.

“We’ll talk about it this weekend,” he said as Sorano attached herself to his arm. “There’s a place on 112th I pass every day.”

Sorano squealed and darted off toward the stairs. Jellal passed the pile of backpacks and Erza’s heels on his way to the kitchen. All their belongings mixed together now and the chaos of it eased him. He found both Erza and Yukino in the kitchen.

“Will you help me with my homework?” Yukino asked from the table.

“They give homework in pre-k now?”

“It’s just a coloring page,” Erza said, pushing out a chair for him with her foot. “She did do a first grade level worksheet in my office today, though. So that’s interesting.”

“More math stuff?”

“We can have her tested next year when she starts kinder.”

“How was your day?” He asked, sliding an arm around her shoulder. His fingers tangled in her hair the way they always did.

“Long,” she sighed. “But I like it. The school is great and I think it’s a good fit for me.”

“Erza said I could keep snacks in my own box in her office for when I sit with her in the afternoons,” Yukino piped up. “I can even have a nap on the play mats!”

‘Are you sure you don’t want to be in the play gym with the other kids?” Erza asked. “I’d hate for you to be bored with me.”

Yukino smiled and gathered her crayons back into the tin. “Nope. I like the quiet and you’re my favorite besides Sorano and Uncle Jellal.”

She disappeared into the living room with her pink feather boa trailing behind her. Jellal turned to Erza and grinned in the way he’d resigned himself to recognize as sappy.

“You love me right?” He asked. “I’d understand if -”

“Oh, shut up, Jellal.” She leaned in to kiss him briefly before standing. “I’m happy.”

Erza pulled a perfectly cooked roast from the oven and Jellal vaguely wished he could understand the magic behind cooking large cuts of meat slowly over several hours.

“By the way,” Erza said, reaching for the knife block. “My mother is flying up in two weeks. She wants to meet you and the girls. I think Sorano will love her.”

Jellal’s entire body clammed up. Of course Sorano would love her. She loved all things commanding and bossy. He sucked in two deep breaths before deciding Erza’s mother couldn't possibly be any more frightening than Ms. Milkovich.

Could she?

#Jerza #Jellal Fernandes #Erza Scarlet #Prompt requests

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berserker-official · 7 years

Note

Then allow me to be the one who does it. -ahem- Answer all 200 questions, please.

YOU

200: My crush’s name is: I don’t have one right now?

199: I was born in: A hospital in Colorado

198: I am really: Really tired

197: My cellphone company is: Cricket

196: My eye color is: Blue

195: My shoe size is: I think 12?

194: My ring size is: I have no fucking idea

193: My height is: 6′2

192: I am allergic to: Nothing that I know of

191: My 1st car was: I share a Jeep with the family

190: My 1st job was: A pizza man at Little Caesars in Texas

189: Last book you read: All You Need is Kill by Hiroshi Sakurazaka

188: My bed is: Small.

187: My pet: She a good girl and like 6 different breeds

186: My best friend: I have too many

185: My favorite shampoo is: Whatever’s cheap

184: Xbox or ps3: Both but I’m a sony man at heart

183: Piggy banks are: Neat

182: In my pockets: I don’t have pockets right now

181: On my calendar: Nothing special today but I have the Danganronpa V3 release date on it in a couple of weeks

180: Marriage is: Neat

179: Spongebob can: go steppin on the beach

178: My mom: is neat but I’m mad at her right now

177: The last three songs I bought were?

Silence by Marshmello & Khalid, OTONA HIT PARADE and Emotional Literacy by Bradio

176: Last YouTube video watched: Oney Plays D. Premonition WITH FRIENDS - EP 6 - Minesweeper175: How many cousins do you have? I honestly don’t know. My parents don’t really keep in touch with immediate family. My mom is an only child and my dad doesn’t talk to her sister.174: Do you have any siblings? I have a little brother who’s a fucking loser going for an astrophysics degree.

173: Are your parents divorced? Nope

172: Are you taller than your mom? By two feet.

171: Do you play an instrument? I used to play percussion in middle school

170: What did you do yesterday? A bunch of stencil work[ I Believe In ] (I’ve already answered these but here u go)169: Love at first sight: Not really168: Luck: Heart of the Cards167: Fate: No166: Yourself: Nope165: Aliens: Yeah164: Heaven: Not really163: Hell: Not really162: God: Not really161: Horoscopes: No but I look at them randomly160: Soul mates: Yeah159: Ghosts: No but not yet158: Gay Marriage: HELL YEAH157: War: No it bad156: Orbs: I BELIEVE IN THE ORBS155: Magic: No but not yet[ This or That ] (I’ve answered some of these already but here u go)154: Hugs or Kisses: Hugs153: Drunk or High: Neither152: Phone or Online: Online151: Red heads or Black haired: Black hair but I don’t really care?150: Blondes or Brunettes: Blonde cuz I’m ready to have fun149: Hot or cold: Cold148: Summer or winter: Winter147: Autumn or Spring: Autumn146: Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate145: Night or Day: Night144: Oranges or Apples: Apples143: Curly or Straight hair: Straight hair142: McDonalds or Burger King: Doesn’t matter141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: Milk chocolate140: Mac or PC: PC139: Flip flops or high heals: I hate showing off my feet and I actually wore high heels once so HIGH HEELS138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: I’m sweet and poor so that one137: Coke or Pepsi: Neither one I actually don’t like carbonated drinks136: Hillary or Obama: Thanks obama135: Burried or cremated: Cremated it’s better for the earth134: Singing or Dancing: Singing even I fuckin suck133: Coach or Chanel: I have no idea132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: Neither?131: Small town or Big city: Big City130: Wal-Mart or Target: Target129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: Ben Stiller128: Manicure or Pedicure: Whichever is the hand one127: East Coast or West Coast: I’m in the middle so doesn’t matter126: Your Birthday or Christmas: Christmas cuz my birthday is in the summer so I’m dying of heat.125: Chocolate or Flowers: Chocolate124: Disney or Six Flags: Neither cuz going outside sucks123: Yankees or Red Sox: Cubs cuz they finally won the world series[ Here’s What I Think About ]122: War: It bad121: George Bush: He did Nine Eleven120: Gay Marriage: It’s great why the fuck do people think it’s bad119: The presidential election: In general I used to not care but NOW GO FUCKING VOTE118: Abortion: I think it’s important117: MySpace: I never had a myspace but bring back the grunge emo shit116: Reality TV: It’s obviously fake so115: Parents: Parents are good without them I would not be here (But if they’re abusive fuck them)114: Back stabbers: Drop them faster than you can say bye bitch113: Ebay: I’ve only used it once and it was good so I say sure112: Facebook: Needs to chill the fuck out111: Work: Work is good you get money and gain retail horror stories110: My Neighbors: One of them is a drunk so meh but The Best Neighbor is a guy that used to build his own motorcycles but has heart problems so he had to sell them but he’s a chill guy and I love him109: Gas Prices: TOO DAMN HIGH108: Designer Clothes: Too rich for my blood107: College: A good choice for your future but it’s not for everybody106: Sports: The only sport I care about is MLG Gaming105: My family: They cool but highly problematic104: The future: I’m at a big turning point right now so[ Last time I ]103: Hugged someone: Last Saturday?102: Last time you ate: A couple hours ago101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: Last week I think I hung out with a friend and we watched Willow100: Cried in front of someone: Months probably99: Went to a movie theater: I went to see Spider-Man Homecoming when it came out but next month I’m going to see Jigsaw with @warlord-official so that’s fun98: Took a vacation: I don’t know? When I got out of school for summer vacation?97: Swam in a pool: 2011?96: Changed a diaper: I actually never changed a diaper95: Got my nails done: Never94: Went to a wedding: Two years ago93: Broke a bone: Never92: Got a peircing: Sophmore year I got my lip pierced so...2008?91: Broke the law: I think I ran a red light once so a couple years ago?90: Texted: A day?[ MISC ]89: Who makes you laugh the most: Me cuz I do the dumbest shit88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: My dog87: The last movie I saw: I was watching the Rugrats Movie on Netflix a little while ago86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: Danganronpa V3 and then Jigsaw in October and the Ixalan MTG set at the end of the month.85: The thing im not looking forward to: The next time I have to go to jury duty84: People call me: by my name83: The most difficult thing to do is: Be an adult82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: Never81: My zodiac sign is: Leo80: The first person i talked to today was: My dad79: First time you had a crush: Probably in elementary school? She was partially deaf and my teacher told me to help her out for the year and we got pretty close78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: My friends cuz I gotta let my baggage out77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: I don’t remember cuz all my friends think the same way76: Right now I am talking to: No one75: What are you going to do when you grow up: I wanna do photography maybe teaching74: I have/will get a job: When I graduate73: Tomorrow: I gotta get up early for school72: Today: I did a bunch of school readings71: Next Summer: I’m gonna die from heat again70: Next Weekend: Hopefully I can hang with friends69: I have these pets: A good dog68: The worst sound in the world: When a racist opens their mouth67: The person that makes me cry the most is: Roman from the FH team cuz he’s NOT FUCKING NERFING CENT66: People that make you happy: All my friends65: Last time I cried: Just now boi we goin in hard64: My friends are: Good boys and girls63: My computer is: I have an 5 year old ASUS laptop that I should try to upgrade cuz it runs Overwatch poorly62: My School: MSU Denver61: My Car: I share a Jeep with the family60: I lose all respect for people who: Treat my friends like they’re subhuman59: The movie I cried at was: Death Note cuz it was fucking awful58: Your hair color is: Dirty blonde57: TV shows you watch: The only stuff on now that I’m watching is Rick and Morty and AHS: Cult56: Favorite web site: Tumblr even though this hellsite is full of sin55: Your dream vacation: Japan?54: The worst pain I was ever in was: My wisdom teeth were pretty obnoxious53: How do you like your steak cooked: Rare52: My room is: Very messy and small51: My favorite celebrity is: Gal Gadot50: Where would you like to be: Anywhere not stressed out49: Do you want children: Only if I have an S/O that wants kids48: Ever been in love: Yeh47: Who’s your best friend: I have too many to count but @warlord-official is one of them46: More guy friends or girl friends: I think it’s a tie?45: One thing that makes you feel great is: when my friends are happy or I eat a good burger44: One person that you wish you could see right now: My friend that’s in Japan I miss her43: Do you have a 5 year plan: Nope42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: Nope41: Have you pre-named your children: I did when I was dating someone and thought we were pretty serious but then I found out she was cheating on me so not anymore40: Last person I got mad at: My mom39: I would like to move to: Japan or somewhere that is cool all the time like Washington maybe38: I wish I was a professional: Photographer[ My Favorites ]37: Candy: Pay Day36: Vehicle: Reasonably priced car is one of the new Jeeps. Super expensive car would be an Aston Martin or Maserati35: President: Obama34: State visited: Georgia was nice33: Cellphone provider: Cricket cuz it’s the only one I’ve had32: Athlete: John Elway31: Actor: Chris Evans30: Actress: Gal Gadot29: Singer: Kesha28: Band: Bradio or Starset27: Clothing store: DXL cuz it’s the only store that sells clothes for Big Boys26: Grocery store: Safeway25: TV show: Hannibal or Future Diary. Rick and Morty is always good24: Movie: Saw, Pacific Rim, Back to the Future, or Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift23: Website: Tumle dot hell22: Animal: Dog?21: Theme park: NONE OF EM20: Holiday: Halloween19: Sport to watch: idk18: Sport to play: I used to do tennis so that one17: Magazine: Shonen Jump or Game Informer16: Book: The Disaster Artist15: Day of the week: Friday14: Beach: I’ve never been to a beach13: Concert attended: Either PVRIS or A Perfect Circle with @warlord-official12: Thing to cook: It’s like a mix of pizza and spaghetti11: Food: A nice burger10: Restaurant: I like Smashburger9: Radio station: I don’t remember the one that plays rock music here but that one8: Yankee candle scent: Something about rain?7: Perfume: There was a vanilla one that I thought smelled nice a long time ago6: Flower: idk?5: Color: a deep blue4: Talk show host: Ellen DeGeneres?3: Comedian: Bo Burnham2: Dog breed: Mutt1: Did you answer all these truthfully? I hope so

#long post #rexudagawa

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hueman-blog · 7 years

Text

Answering Personal Questions

I made a user I follow, @razzledazzlefoshazzle , answer all of these on his blog. I’m feeling guilty so I’m gonna do it too. I know none of you asked but HERE GOES MY PERSONAL INFO!!!

200: My crush’s name is: Averi  199: I was born in: Place? Lancaster, PA, USA. Year? 1999  198: I am really: Bored and unmotivated  197: My cellphone company is: Apple  196: My eye color is: Brown  195: My shoe size is: 8-9 Women’s US  194: My ring size is: Idk, something little  193: My height is: 5'4" I’m little  192: I am allergic to: Stupid people  191: My 1st car was: Never had one  190: My 1st job was: Cashier at California Tortilla (a fast food Mexican franchise around D.C.)  189: Last book you read: Cradle and All 188: My bed is: My safest place, my true home, and also too empty  187: My pet: Doesn’t do much  186: My best friend: Is my girlfriend  185: My favorite shampoo is: Shamu  184: Xbox or ps3: Deck of cards  183: Piggy banks are: Cute decoration, inefficient coin collector  182: In my pockets: I’m in pajamas  181: On my calendar: Work, as that’s the only thing in my life scheduled. Also a haircut within a few days  180: Marriage is: Great for legal benefits, stupid for expensive ceremonies  179: Spongebob can: Please end soon it turned idiotic long ago  178: My mom: Is abusive (sorry to bring the mood down)  177: The last three songs I bought were? Who buys songs anymore??  176: Last YouTube video watched: History of the World  175: How many cousins do you have? On my dad’s side, 8. On my mom’s side, no idea  174: Do you have any siblings? An older brother  173: Are your parents divorced? Nope  172: Are you taller than your mom? Probably not  171: Do you play an instrument? Nope  170: What did you do yesterday? Absolutely nothing just like every day

[ I Believe In ]  169: Love at first sight: Nope  168: Luck: Yes  167: Fate: Nope  166: Yourself: Not really  165: Aliens: Yeah there’s gotta be some life out there  164: Heaven: No  163: Hell: No  162: God: The Flying Spaghetti Monster? Hell yes. Be boiled for your sins  161: Horoscopes: Nope and frankly if you do I find you uneducated  160: Soul mates: No  159: Ghosts: Nah  158: Gay Marriage: Believing??? In love,??? And commitment??????? Between two people???????? Obviously!  157: War: Never  156: Orbs: I believe in Orbeez  155: Magic: No it’s just science we can’t explain, or illusions we can’t see the entirety of

[ This or That ]  154: Hugs or Kisses: Kisses  153: Drunk or High: Music  152: Phone or Online: Online on my phone  151: Red heads or Black haired: Black haired  150: Blondes or Brunettes: Brunettes  149: Hot or cold: Hot  148: Summer or winter: Summer  147: Autumn or Spring: Autumn  146: Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate  145: Night or Day: Night  144: Oranges or Apples: Apples  143: Curly or Straight hair: Straight  142: McDonalds or Burger King: McDonalds  141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: Milk Chocolate  140: Mac or PC: Mac!!  139: Flip flops or high heels: Flip Flops  138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: ugly and sweet are opposites now?? I guess sweet and poor  137: Coke or Pepsi: Fruit Punch  136: Hillary or Obama: Obama  135: Burried or cremated: Cremated  134: Singing or Dancing: Singing  133: Coach or Chanel: Money to spend on actual useful things  132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: Who???  131: Small town or Big city: Big City  130: Wal-Mart or Target: Target  129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: Both suck, but I’d choose Stiller  128: Manicure or Pedicure: Manicure. My feet are too ticklish  127: East Coast or West Coast: West Coast USA  126: Your Birthday or Christmas: Christmas, I don’t like being the center of attention  125: Chocolate or Flowers: Chocolate  124: Disney or Six Flags: Disney  123: Yankees or Red Sox: What is a sport? How do??

[ Here’s What I Think About ]  122: War: What is it good for? Absolutely nothing  121: George Bush: “Mr. President, what are your thoughts on Katrina?” “We’re gonna find her. And we’re gonna bring her to justice.“  120: Gay Marriage: Its a marriage between two people in love. Celebrate, but don’t go broke in one day  119: The presidential election: Media and rich people control it basically, and I’d rather it be an actual democratic popular vote. Trump is a clown and should have never won  118: Abortion: Its a woman’s right to choose. Personally I think the world is overpopulated anyway and more people should adopt rather than try to conceive  117: MySpace: Never had one  116: Reality TV: Scripted, not reality  115: Parents: Good or bad, they influence your whole life because they were there at the start. Mine went bad and ruined me  114: Back stabbers: Oh I love them- what?? They suck. No one should be betrayed like that  113: Ebay: Never used it but it got the ball rolling for Amazon  112: Facebook: I only use it to message/call my friends, and to see unlimited amounts of dogs  111: Work: It’s a necessary evil  110: My Neighbors: Quiet, the only one I met was a total bitch though  109: Gas Prices: I don’t drive  108: Designer Clothes: C'mon people there are way better uses for your money  107: College: Shouldn’t be expected of teenagers  106: Sports: Boring, overhyped, the players overpaid  105: My family: Worthless, judgmental pricks  104: The future: Uncertain

[ Last time I ]  103: Hugged someone: Sunday (3 days ago), when my friend picked me up from work  102: Last time you ate: Italian ice about 1.5 hours ago (8:15pm)  101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: A month ago  100: Cried in front of someone: A month ago maybe??  99: Went to a movie theater: Many many months ago  98: Took a vacation: A year ago  97: Swam in a pool: Two years ago?  96: Changed a diaper: Never  95: Got my nails done: My 16th birthday I think (almost two years ago)  94: Went to a wedding: Eight years ago?  93: Broke a bone: Never  92: Got a peircing: I was 14 and got my ears pierced (almost 4 years ago)  91: Broke the law: Never  90: Texted: A minute ago

[ MISC ]  89: Who makes you laugh the most: My friend Brad. He’s so inappropriate but his jokes I cannot stop laughing at  88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: Not paying bills other than Internet  87: The last movie I saw: Coraline  86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: Moving to California  85: The thing im not looking forward to: Paying for rent in California  84: People call me: To friends: Lys. To family: Alyssa. To my girlfriend: Lyssy. To everyone else: annoying  83: The most difficult thing to do is: Get up out of bed every day  82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: Nope I do not drive  81: My zodiac sign is: Cancer  80: The first person i talked to today was: My friend Jessica  79: First time you had a crush: Preschool, this boy in my class Marshall  78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: Myself  77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: Yesterday, idk?  76: Right now I am talking to: My phone in the way of typing  75: What are you going to do when you grow up: Survive hopefully. I also wanna be a flight attendant  74: I have/will get a job: Have a job as assistant manager of an arcade  73: Tomorrow: I’m going food shopping and seeing my annoying cousin Barbara (she has two boyfriends and they both treat her like shit. It’s not poly it’s just cheating)  72: Today: I actually made a meal that was nice  71: Next Summer: I’ll be living in California  70: Next Weekend: I have to face my parents for the first time since February. I hate it  69: I have these pets: A ball of moss named Mo  68: The worst sound in the world: My girlfriend crying  67: The person that makes me cry the most is: My father  66: People that make you happy: My girlfriend Averi  65: Last time I cried: A few weeks ago??  64: My friends are: Averi, Raven, Jessica  63: My computer is: My phone  62: My School: Is nonexistent  61: My Car: Is also nonexistent  60: I lose all respect for people who: Hate on others for no reason  59: The movie I cried at was: Toy Story 3  58: Your hair color is: Black  57: TV shows you watch: None  56: Favorite web site: Tumblr usually  55: Your dream vacation: California  54: The worst pain I was ever in was: Once I got constipated a few months ago for 48 hours. I screamed  53: How do you like your steak cooked: Medium  52: My room is: Either super messy or super clean. Right now messy  51: My favorite celebrity is: Jacksepticeye  50: Where would you like to be: In my girlfriend’s arms on a beach  49: Do you want children: Right now I don’t think I ever would but if I ever did I’d adopt  48: Ever been in love: Yes I am now  47: Who’s your best friend: My girl  46: More guy friends or girl friends: Girl friends  45: One thing that makes you feel great is: Sleeping  44: One person that you wish you could see right now: AVERI  43: Do you have a 5 year plan: Stalin did  42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: Nope  41: Have you pre-named your children: I did with my ex. Never again  40: Last person I got mad at: My grandmother  39: I would like to move to: California  38: I wish I was a professional: Sleeper [ My Favorites ]  37: Candy: Swedish Fish or Nerds  36: Vehicle: Volkswagen Beetle  35: President: Biden  34: State visited: California  33: Cellphone provider: Cricket  32: Athlete: Me, running from my responsibilities  31: Actor: Eddie Redmayne  30: Actress: Anna Kendrick  29: Singer: Laura Jane Grace  28: Band: Against Me!  27: Clothing store: Thrift shops  26: Grocery store: Safeway  25: TV show: Adventure Time  24: Movie: Wall-E  23: Website: Pornhu- I mean Tumblr  22: Animal: Red Panda  21: Theme park: Disney World  20: Holiday: Christmas  19: Sport to watch: Extreme Chess Mega X  18: Sport to play: How Late Can I Get Up Before Concerning My Family  17: Magazine: :enizagaM  16: Book: The Underneath  15: Day of the week: Saturday  14: Beach: Any beach  13: Concert attended: Fall Out Boy x Paramore  12: Thing to cook: Pasta with alfredo sauce  11: Food: Bacon egg & cheese on a bagel  10: Restaurant: TGI Fridays  9: Radio station: Night Vale Community Radio  8: Yankee candle scent: Ass  7: Perfume: Averi’s  6: Flower: Averi  5: Color: Orange - the color of Averi’s voice  4: Talk show host: John Oliver  3: Comedian: Bo Burnham  2: Dog breed: Corgi  1: Did you answer all these truthfully? Hell yeah I wouldn’t lie to you

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scenarios-on-ice · 7 years

Text

Roses are red

Violets are blue

This ‘poem’ sucks but

Happy Birthday to you

(Note: there was originally like eight more cynical lines about how birthdays mean you’re that much closer to the end, but I scrapped it because when I try to use dark humor it usually just ends up kinda gruesome.

There’s probably something wrong with me and someday we’ll find out what that is, but today is not that day)

Congratulations! @(^-^)@ You were only sixteen but your mind was older- now you’re seventeen, but I’m sure the latter part of that quote still applies and the blog will blow us all away even more than before! Hope you have a wonderful, satisfying birthday despite how non-stop you are (don’t forget to take a break when you can) and one last time, congratulations!

(also depending on how the timezone difference between Croatia and Korea works, we’re only a day or two apart- my birthday is March 30th, which is tomorrow over here! :D so cool)

“Whatever you say ma'am, Furuta will pay for his behavior! I’ll use tumblr, I’ll write under a pseudonym(Evans)- you’ll see what I can do to him!

But at least since he’s dead, you can finally speak your mind?”

I know, I still like the idea of trans Mutsuki better but other than any hints dropped in canon, I just think it’s very unlikely that TG as a Japanese manga will add a 100%, conmpletely confirmed LGBTQ character. I believe Ishida himself is pretty open towards the LGBTQ community (Nico’s portrayal is a bit questionable but in an omake Yomo is shown thinking that anyone he dates could become Touka’s aunt OR uncle (though of course that could be a translation error), Shuu is a subversion of manga stereotypes regarding gay men and TG in general has a lot of interesting themes regarding sexuality and gender), but idk, the idea of a mainstream seinen manga like TG adding LGBTQ themes that go beyond heavy implication seems unlikely (though who knows, it could happen).

Mutsuki just makes me bitter. FIrst all the arguments about their gender and now I don’t even like them anymore (they used to be an adorable cinnamon roll but after recent chapters, while I still feel for them they’ve become a lot less sympathetic).

(Also this just makes me sound salty but I recently came across a very aggressive blog dedicated to reminding everybody that MUTSKI IS MALE AND YOU ARE ALL WRONG and reading through it just made me kinda mad and irritated all at once. Once a trans person made a post saying that despite being trans themself they didn’t think Mutsuki was, offering several manga moments as decent evidence and being quite polite, and the mod of this blog answered them with what basically boils down to 'lol no it’s possible to be transphobic even if you’re part of the LGBTQ community and you are clearly one of these people’.)

Don’t worry, cinnamon roll Hinami isn’t being forgotten! :) I’m really looking forward to her meeting Akira. I’ve always liked Hina but these recent chapters pushed her up on my ‘favorite characters’ list- she’s just way too sweet.

Reading the manga: wth Ishida you are officially my least favorite person like even Isayama is better than you

Reading Ishida’s translated tweets/the comments he makes in TG extras: why are you so nice

Yeah, I kinda hated Urie at first (I understood his goals and motivations but did he really have to be such a jerk? I honestly thought he was going to get somebody killed in the auction arc) but after the auction arc I started to like him better (I think the official moment I decided ‘I like Urie Kuki as a character’ was when Shirazu died) and I kinda freaked out when I realized what happened to him…

He would make a great Burr though. I think he’s way more willing to act than Burr and is not a ‘talk less, smile more’ kind of person (more like a ‘talk less and don’t smile at all’ type) but they’re still really similar. I could also see Urie singing Wait for It…with Kaneki as Hamilton. Not because Kaneki particularly fits Hamilton but because of how Burr is clearly somewhat jealous about Hamilton’s progress despite not approving of his methods in Wait For It (in an interview about the song I think LMM said something about it describing the feeling of watching your friends and acquaintances getting so far ahead in life and thinking 'Wait for it; someday I’ll get there too’).

Am I the only one who headcanons that despite acting super classy and not knowing much about rap/hip-hop before someone (maybe Hori?) gets him to listen to it, Tsukiyama actually turns out to be a really good rapper?

Speaking of Tsukiyama though, I want to see more of his interactions with Naki

Hmm, since Mado died after he was already an adult couldn’t Akira technically count? We know from omakes that Mado was a doting father and made her childhood as happy as possible, so while her life might not have been 100% perfect it was still really good in TG terms. Takizawa before he entered the academy also counts.

but even those two had so much tragedy happen to them as adults…

(also, have you started reading the manga again? :D)

ok, that sounds creepy. Not going to be watching that.

Thank you so much for the recommendations though! Not sure if I’ll get the time to watch those but I think I saw some Magi volumes in a bookstore here so maybe I’ll check that out when I have the time!

And yeah, if you have any good animes/mangas to recommend, please do! And genre doesn’t matter- though I usually prefer dark, psychological stories I’m willing to make exceptions when the series in question is really good (that’s what I did with YoI after all :) the only genres I’m really reluctant to read are horror and high school romances).

I’m glad you liked them! And nope, don’t mind at all :D fangirling

I am back! Again, happy birthday ^^ I hope the day went well for you :) How old are you now, if you don’t mind me asking? I’m guessing it’s either 14 or 15.

And thank you very much for the poem, it’s very cute! I wouldn’t have minded the extra verses. They might’ve ruined the mood a bit, tho ^^;; The theme sounds like something baroque poems would write about... Don’t mind me, I just had an exam dealing with baroque, so I’m probably prone to making bad references to it.

I will never manage to reach your level of puns... I’ll just say that I’m very satisfied with the amount of them.

“Just because he’s dead doesn’t mean he won’t come back. He died so another villain can take his place.

No matter how much I support trans Mu, I’d be very, very surprised if it actually become canon. I mean, as you’ve said, Japan and lgbt don’t quite go together that well... I guess we’ll just have to see... And nope, I still haven’t started to read the manga again. No time ^^;;

I’ve started to dislike Mu after the chapter in which his past was revealed. I just don’t have the will to stomach stories like that, honestly... Good horror/psychology manga/anime might interest me once in a while, but there’s a border I don’t like crossing. TG is waaay over it (which is probably a part of the reason why I dropped it, after all)

Gaah, it’s people like that that make dislike the lgbts... Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against people in that community and I won’t discriminate (though stuff like fictionkin and made-up pronouns do make me roll my eyes), but it’s these people that give people the wrong image about the whole community. Unfortunately, I’ve had quite a few encounters with those... aggressive people. I could go on and on about the things I saw as a part of this site, mostly concerning those ridiculous people who are probably in it because they think it’s ‘cool’ or ‘trendy’ to be bi or genderfluid. I get waaay too worked up over this theme, don’t I?

Oh, I’m so happy about her not being forgotten! She is a precious cinnamon roll and doesn’t deserve the life she has, she deserves so much better.

Boy, that sounds fun. Well, Ive had experience with the ‘reading manga’ part, but I don’t particularly follow tweets ^^;; I hope things work out in the manga!

Idk, I mean, I disliked him at first, but I got to like him very quickly. I just seem to like silent types like him (I say that, and yet I also like Phichit, Viktor, Haise and so on, who are nothing like him.... WHOOPS).

Signs that I’m slowly forgetting TG: *reading the message* ‘who... are these characters?’ I mean, I know the most important ones, like Haise, Urie, Akira and so on, but the other ones... This makes me very sad ;-;

Yeah, I guess that would make Kaneki a good Hamilton. STILL DON’T WANT BURR (COOKIE) TO KILL HIM, BECAUSE KANEKI IS A CINNAMON ROLL WHO DOESN’T DESERVE TO DIE! The dynamics between Kaneki and Urie don’t make a good Ham-Burr, but their positions in their job, so I guess they really are the best pair for Hamilton. Why did Ham have to die ;-; That makes casting so much harder for me.

Oh yeah, Tsukiyama would be an amazing rappers, I don’t doubt it at all. In fact, I’m sure that he’d be able to do Guns and Ships perfectly.

Fun fact: You made a typo saying ‘Mado died after SHE became an adult’ (I changed it) and you gave me the biggest heart attack. Pls, my phone wasn’t used to the speed with which I typed ‘TOKYO GHOUL WIKI AKIRA MADO’ to check if what you said is true. Yeah, Akira could count, I guess. That makes a total of ONE character... Not much, eh?

I don’t know if I count Takizawa... I think that the way his life is now, it very much makes up the lack of angst in his childhood.

Oh yeah, one last concern about The World Is Still Beautiful!

WHY IS THERE A CHARACTER NAMED LUNA WHO ACTS LIKE AN INSUFFERABLE BRAT DURING HER WHOLE SCREEN TIME, I DEMAND JUSTICE!

I’m done.

One last recommendation:

LOVE LIVE AKA CUTE IDOLS. I invite you to join me in the pits of idol hell :) It(s not a romance, don’t worry. Also, there’s a mobile rhythm tapping game if you’re interested :))

Ooh, I’d be so happy if you’d start reading Magi! During the later volumes, it gets reeally psychological, so I think you might like it! I’d say something, but spoilers!

Well, I’ll go add the text to the post, then ^^

#evans #tokyo ghoul anon #submission

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lunch-date · 7 years

Text

Childish Wars: Chapter 1

WORK BY: Admin Tea

DATE PUBLISHED: 03.26.17 [REVISED: 04.22.17]

WORD COUNT: 3,399 Words [REVISED: 6,686 Words]

Summary:

In which, high school love is emphasized as invigorating or simply shitty.

A buff sophomore has weekly crushes, a junior honour student just wants to graduate, one thinks he doesn’t have a jawline, and a taekwondo student is thinking about learning how to paint.

Meanwhile, a swimmer just wants to pursue her passion, one wants to be swallowed by her bed, another is tired of doing chores, and the freshman just thought she could finally be blessed with a good love-life.

[The following notes below are found in both Tumblr and AO3 where the author has decided to post the story]

Disclaimer:

If you are viewing this story, this means that you know that this is a fan-made story— it has never happened nor will it ever happen; unless fate decides to play its cards graciously.

Since it is a fan-made story, it consists of characters that are actually based off real people. Characters are based off a group named SEVENTEEN who are idols working under PLEDIS entertainment of South Korea and some supporting characters are based off other idols/groups/actors from South Korea and Japan respectively. Some of course (a few antagonists for example) are legitimately made out of thin air.

Meanwhile, some characters are based off real fans (some with altered names or aliases) that the author personally knows.

Author’s Notes:

Setting is not in South Korea despite most characters coming from that country— in fact, it is placed in Japan. The author chose to set it in such since she did not want the readers to complain of her lack of knowledge of South Korea— considering she has never been to Korea and is only knowledgeable in Japan’s setting and history and whatnot.

Instead of using Korean Honorifics that the Kpop fans are used to (hyung, noona, etc.), Japanese Honorifics are used— the decision was done through a votation and evaluation from the author’s friends (some friends are Korean and Japanese) of which honorifics sound better with random or foreign names.

If you are to continue reading the story as it updates, please take note that there will be no trigger warnings for scenes that will be released in the future (if you notice, the author is not tagging any of the SEVENTEEN boys into the posts on Tumblr to avoid catching the eyes of possible stupid bashing predators)— which means that she trusts you can take/tolerate whatever content that may appear.

The author would also like you to take note that the start of the story will be a bit dreary and slow. She doesn’t want to rush anything at all especially since her writing is a bit rusty from the past hiatuses.

Swearing in the story is slightly inevitable.

Please be warned if you are to bash (like send hate mail to our blog or the author’s posts on AO3 and say that character like this should die or anything immature) any of the characters (or if you find their base-offs in real life and bash them) in the story, you will get not just a piece of the author’s my mind, but her fist and code breaking skills.

If you are not comfortable with anything written above, you are free to leave the site

This is the past

Or a sound effect THUD

“I am speaking in Japanese.” (the language they use throughout the story)

“I am speaking in another language.” Or “I am speaking in another language which is why it’s italicized in the middle of a sentence maybe (even just simple emphasizing something) but its Japanese again since it’s normal text again.”

‘I am thinking.’

And no when ‘Iyaa’ or ‘Aiyaa’ is typed, the author does not mean ‘Iie’ (no in Japanese), it is an expression most Japanese do, it doesn’t necessarily mean anything.

Chapter 1

Déjà vu

(Noun)

Tedious familiarity

A feeling of having already experienced a situation happening at present

“Hi,” Her eyes darted from one student to another.

She didn’t think it would be this bad— the classroom was practically eighty percent male.

“I’m Avilla Tara. I’m a dancer—“cue a long and low whistle.

She stiffened.

“—a-a swimmer, and an artist…”

A few snickered.

“You think she can draw dicks?”

Her gaze landed on the teacher up front, whose eyes glared daggers at the student seated behind her; ready to scold him.

Ready to retort before the teacher could rebuke the offender, Tara—

THUD

“Fuck—!“

The classroom fell silent.

Tara’s head snapped to the shout of distress. The student who sat two seats behind her held his head and lowered it on his desk, clearly in pain.

When did she get in?

Several heads were already turned towards the source of commotion, eyeing a small girl who turned her head slightly towards the student’s direction. She blinked slowly, her finger pretending to scratch on her messy short hair.

“Whoops.”

The girl pulled the loose strap of her bag back up, making sure it was securely hanging on her shoulder.

“My strap slipped,” she shrugged. “Sorry for being late sensei.”

She continued walking to the back of the room, ignoring the whispers that came from the male populace. The homeroom teacher merely shook her head, her small smile of hilarity going unnoticed by the class. Another girl seated at the back pushed her glasses back up before yanking her bag that she had placed on her neighbouring seat before the girl who had just arrived promptly situated herself in the desk saved for her.

A cough.

And the room fell silent once again.

“All right, thank you Tara, you may be seated. Next please.”

Little-by-little, the students’ attention diverted to the next student assigned to introduce himself, their whispers dying down. However, as Tara sat down, she couldn’t help but smile at the girls who were laughing quietly to themselves at their previous act.

“I think I just died…” Alth mutters to no one in particular as she bends her head backwards and shuts her eyes.

It was only the second day since her high school life started and she already felt completely drained. Truthfully, nothing much had even happened during the first day; just batch, homeroom, and club orientations.

But today?

Her class had just finished their third diagnostic test.

“I entered high school to learn more— not to have my elementary days tested.” Alth shut her eyes tighter, seeing flashes of white occupy the darkness in her vision.

It was that time of the school year where you had to socialize and form groups; whatever groups you would form would most probably be the group you would stick with till the end of the year. Usually Alth would take this time to befriend and get-to-know the people in a class she enters to steadily fit-in and feel like she belonged in a group of peers— temporary or not. She wouldn’t want to feel left out if there were projects that allowed the students to form their groups by friends.

“Hey.”

Though it was tough.

“Heeeey.”

It wasn’t like there was an equal number of girls in the classroom; in fact, there were only 10 girls in the room. Normally, you’d befriend someone of the same gender, right?

“Hey!”

Startled, her body jerks forward onto her desk, nearly toppling it over if it weren’t for her hands tightly grasping on the corners of her table.

“Oh, sorry!” Alth’s head whips backwards at the apology given to her.

“Uhh,” He pauses, his mouth slightly open. “My paper.” He gives it to her. “Sorry.”

Alth takes it, her gaze on him unwavering. When he started writing on his notebook, Alth blinks slowly and faces the board once again, asking the student in front of her to pass the paper that had been left behind.

“Hey.”

She looks over her shoulder again at the sound of his voice and her mouth was trying its best not to ask if he was that kid she saw during enrollment who sported an absurd haircut.

“Y-Yeah?” Way to seem nervous or extremely stiff.

“There was one number in the test… Part two, vocabulary…”

He was definitely the kid— she would never forget the face of someone who had their hair cut like some hatched egg or whatever it may have been.

“What about it?”

Now that she thought about it, his hair back then looked like a duck’s butt with some of the hair sticking out oddly at the back.

“I think it was number thirteen: a group or system in which positions of power are ranked; usually from lowest to highest,” he stops, and Alth felt her lungs take a break— he talked too fast.

Not that his hair was any better now.

“The answer’s ‘higher key’ right?”

It was a shocking colour of orange, not to mentioned it wasn’t tamed, standing tall like some grass on a lawn.

“What.” She fully turns her chair to him, ignoring the fact that the teacher was still up front— it wasn’t like he was lecturing anyway.

“I answered ‘higher key’ what about you?”

Alth had to recall for a moment what the test type was.

“Y…eah. Same.”

The boy suddenly beamed and she was taken aback for just a moment with her heart skipping a beat.

“Great! Hopefully I get a passing score at least.” He sighs, sinking into his seat as he leans back. “My name’s Chan by the way. Lee Chan.”

“Ah,” her hand twitches, almost extending to him, a bad habit she kept in her old school filled with westerners. She nods slightly, her lips forming a smile. “I’m Althea, Althea Lora.”

“Nice meeting you~” Chan nods vigorously, “You think you did well during the test? It was pretty hard, I even heard you grumbling a bit.”

She felt her cheeks flush, “ah, I think I did? It’s my first language after all.”

“Yaa, you’re lucky then,” he pouts a bit. “It’s just my third language so I’m still having a hard time coping.” He clenches his teeth and shakes his head a bit furiously.

“I could help you during English Class if you want.”

“Thanks! The next teacher’s here.” He smiles once more after whispering, then gets up from his seat, greeting the teacher who had just arrived.

Alth did the same, turning her back at him and sitting back down with the rest of the class afterwards.

Alth realized…

when Chan said ‘higher key’, she hoped he meant ‘hierarchy’.

The test type was an identification type after all.

RIIIING

“Jihoon!”

Without looking up, Jihoon mutters a quiet “Ahh?”. He closes his notebook, takes his pen and keeps it in his case.

The rest of the class do the same or merely leave their belongings scruffily on their tables as they exit the classroom, heading out for their morning break.

“I forgot to tell you. There’s a new convenience store, it’s on block 7’s lot.”

Jihoon stops writing on his memo for a moment. He watches Jeonghan who takes a seat to his right, thanking their classmate who allowed him to sit.

“…What about it?”

“I got a flyer that talks about its ice cream and smoothie promos. Wanna pass by sometime?”

“It’s not open yet, is it?”

“Nope, it’s going to open in a month.” Jeonghan’s eyes linger behind his friend. “Maybe in less than a month now actually. I got the flyer last week before class started.”

“Ahh.”

“Aubs, it’s lunch already.”

Jihoon stops his writing once more at the sound of shuffling behind him. The girl behind him groggily moves her head from her folded arms. She takes a peek to her left, and Jeonghan who had been staring at her this whole time, averts his attention back to Jihoon who resumed his writing again.

Bree—who didn’t actually notice Jeonghan’s stare due to her blurred vision—takes a peek to her right this time. Tara stands beside her table (coming from a crouch after picking her friend’s bentou bag from the floor), her own bentou bag hanging by her shoulder and her small sketchpad tucked in her arm.

“… I fell asleep?”

“I saw you purposely lie your head down; you don’t even have your notebook out.”

Bree hums at the statement and Tara sighs.

“I wouldn’t be able to anyway. The teacher didn’t use visuals.”

“It’s okay; I’ll lend you my notes.”

“Thank you.” Bree mutters and finally pulls her head up.

The two girls took their leave, muttering to themselves, and Jeonghan pulls the chair he sat on closer to Jihoon’s seat.

“You poor thing.” Jeonghan chuckles at Jihoon who raises a brow at him. “You just had to be assigned to sit in front of the dragon lady.”

“She’s just a seatmate.”

“Yeah but we’re stuck with her till next year.”

“Is the implementation for real?”

“Yup.”

“I was hoping to be classmates with Joshua and Wonwoo again..”

Jeonghan whines, resting his elbows on Jihoon’s table, “yaa; don’t you like being my classmate?”

“I’ve never been your classmate; so, I’m not entirely sure yet.”

Jeonghan pouted this time.

“Meanie~”

“It hasn’t even been a week of school yet.”

“I’m a pretty clever guy too Mister Honours.” Jihoon scoffs at this.

He remembered having to find a loophole out of Jeonghan’s case in the student council’s office when he had been caught cheating during a quiz.

But really, who files a complain about cheating in high school? Everyone practically finds a way to cheat in anything just to pass now and Jihoon didn’t have anything against it really.

“But anyway,” Jeonghan started. “Quinn’s a decent classmate.”

“You’ve been classmates before?” Jihoon recalled him muttering something about ‘forgetting she had a loud voice’.

“Yeah, freshmen year with Avilla and Ramsey.”

“Ramsey’s in Joshua’s room.”

“Whatever, to put, they were a group, like us and stuff.”

“So what about them?”

Jeonghan pulls himself back from Jihoon’s desk when he took out his snacks for Jeonghan.

Jeonghan takes the rice crackers.

“Avilla was our second semester rep; she’s good.”

“She became our class representative for our first semester last year.” Jihoon recalls.

When Avilla had been appointed as their representative, Jihoon remembered vaguely the worried look that flashed across her face. She insisted continuously that she was a bad choice, but votation from a few old classmates of hers proved otherwise.

The first semester for them had gone out evenly with Avilla’s leadership, most especially since the male representative had been hospitalized after a competition. People didn’t want to take her off of the position the second semester, but the teachers insisted that their class needed to give other students a chance.

“I don’t think they’ll make her a representative anymore.”

“Why not?” Jeonghan bites the first cracker, offering another piece to Jihoon who immediately refuses.

“There’s a new rule now that a student is only allowed to be elected once in class for their whole stay in high school.”

“Aww. That’s a bummer.”

“Hn.”

“Anyway,” Jeonghan shrugs. “Quinn…” Jeonghan trails off. “She’s decent since she actually has good notes even if you barely see her awake in class.”

“Oh?”

Jihoon wasn’t extremely familiar with Quinn unlike with Avilla and Ramsey. Ramsey had been his classmate together with Avilla the previous year, and he knew the girl was capable in the field of arts and technology. She was even a strict critique and deadly debater when required. Other than those though, Jihoon knew Ramsey for being chill and jaunty, and a slight perfectionist if he had to admit.

However, this was the only year he had encountered Quinn (aside from seeing her around the corridor and mostly with a group of girs). All he knew from his batchmates were that Quinn wouldn’t speak to the male population at school unless circumstances brought her to the point of having to speak up.

Hence the first day of class during orientation.

“Yeah, like there are even small doodles of the lesson or side notes— mostly random doodles around her notebook though.” Jeonghan laughs suddenly and Jihoon got a bit curious as to why.

“One time, the teacher asked her to photocopy her notes for those who were absent during the stomach flu season. Everyone wouldn’t stop talking about this cute frog evolution she drew for biology.”

“At least she’s useful.” Jihoon comments, trying his best to hint how nonchalant he was.

He was the type to have a few messy pages from time-to-time when the teacher taught too fast, so he would need some back up to fix his notebooks.

It wouldn’t hurt to try talking to Quinn if it meant saving his grades.

“Yeah, and good in English. Like, way better than you.”

Jihoon twitched.

“It’s 1:30 already.”

“Oh yeah,” Tara wipes the corner of her lip with a thumb, “Wendy-senpai said there’s a meeting later.”

Bree looks up from her notebook and lets go of the pen she had been biting, “what for?”

“She said something about welcoming the female freshmen again. Their population’s bigger than the Sophomores.” Vee replies, sliding the tray of left-over beef curry beside her bentou.

“That just means this school is getting more girl power!” Tara cheers before plopping a piece of broccoli in her mouth.

“We are slowly leading a good generation in our revolution,” Bree nods in approval, her voice a bit whole and her posture straight as if she were a politician. Tara could really imagine her friend dressed in a formal attire. “The school will be more balanced this way. Next step is to get rid of the manipulative assholes here in school.” Bree stabs a potato before bringing it to her mouth.

Vee eyed the poor remnants of the potato.

“Do you have any people in mind?”

“To be honest,” Bree chews, covering her mouth while speaking. “I heard some nasty news from the Sophomores about one of their batch representatives, but I need to hear or see stuff for myself.”

“Speak of the Sophomores, just yesterday I saw the Sophomore’s batch beadle scowling at you during the orientation.”

Bree’s eyebrows narrow at this. “He’s actually one of the ‘news’ I was talking about— the one with Bieber like hair?” Tara nods at this, “I’ll look into him later.”

“How do you even get all of these information? You suck at being updated during grade school.” Vee gestures to Bree’s ballpen, reminding her to continue her notes.

Bree smiles a bit, Vee took note of how sad it seemed. “I guess this is the effect of being surrounded by a lethal environment.”

“Well, it helps though. Look at us, fixing things up.” Tara points out, looking at the brighter side of things.

Bree nods, replacing her chopstick with her pen once more, “yeah..”

Hopefully, things do fix up and everything runs smoothly.

Thud

“What happened?” Bree immediately picks the bottle of water that fell from the tray (and onto the bench they sat on) Ann deliberately dumped on the table. Tara and Vee put up the remaining items upright and Ann sits down beside Bree, irritably applying her lip balm.

“Nothing,” Ann pauses. She breathes heavily before taking her spoon and wiping it with a piece of tissue. “As usual, we’re just surrounded by rude people.”

“Don’t rush eating, we’ll be pulled out for the next period. I’m sure Seulgi-senpai wouldn’t mind you eating during the meeting.”

Ann could only nod as she tore off the seal of her yoghurt cup.

“I totally understand how the mcs of otome games feel when it comes to assholes.”

1: 15PM

There were two general types of people in high school.

One: the people who don’t give two damns about what you do or who you are, unless you become their project-mate or partner in anything school related at all. Two: the bullies or manipulative people who like to ruin other people’s lives for no reason.

She had 30 minutes to eat, and she still needed to nap.

‘Why is it taking so long..?’ Ann thought to herself as she tilts her head, checking the line in front of her.

Maybe it wouldn’t have been this tedious if she actually didn’t tell her friends that it was fine to leave her already in line. She could’ve even told Bree about the route she was taking in the games they were playing. But no, she just had to say ‘it’s all right’ when Tara had asked if she was sure.

No regrets.

“Why is it even so hot?” She mumbles to herself. Apparently, it wasn’t even quiet enough to be considered as a mumble because a student behind her just chuckled and apologized to his friend. He even joked about leaving so that the cafeteria would ‘cool up’ a bit.

Ann did her best not to roll her eyes.

“Next.” The second cashier calls out.

The next person in line walks up to the second cashier, his friend waiting just behind him in queue. When the student noticed that the person on the first cashier was ready to leave, Ann saw that he was about ready to run up to the cashier, only for the cashier lady to place the ‘closed’ sign on the counter.

Both Ann and the students in line sighed.

Normally it didn’t take too long for the cashier ladies to take orders in the stalls. Even last year as a new student, Ann took note that the perks of being in the weird academy was that the cafeteria staff were quick in selling and cooking, and even with their hasty work, kept everything neat and orderly.

So, was it because it was the first week of class and there were new and more food being sold in the cafeteria?

Ann scans the display of food and the menu— no, nothing was new, same food as last year.

So what was causing the traffic?

1:20PM

‘Finally,’ she rejoices inwardly as she takes a step forward. She was the second to the first in line, prepared to order the food she wanted. ‘All of this for just yoghurt. I’m glad I ate bit of rice earlier.’ She gave herself a pat on the back silently.

“Yaa, you took too long.”

“Sorry, got caught up in a conversation.”

“Sure you didn’t get clogged by the new girls in the corridor?”

“I actually took the long way.” The student who had just arrived, sniggered.

He better not be—

The student who had originally stood in front of her in the queue left his spot after being called by the lady behind the counter. Meanwhile, his friend who had just came, casually took his friend’s place, readying his wallet and counting his bills.

He was.

“Excuse me.” Ann speaks up. She was about to tap on the boy’s arm if it weren’t for him whipping his head towards her and practically slapping her with his long hair.

‘Fuck’ Ann had her eyes shut at the brunt of his hair.

It was so damn coarse and hefty.

“Yeah?”

She gradually opened her eyes that met with half-lidded ones. The boy who looked down on her, blinked at her expression that was building bit by bit negatively.

How insolent, coming from the Prince of the school.

“You’re cutting in line.” She says, deadpan.

The boy blinked, “I’m not. My friend was here and I just came late.”

“Regardless, you cut in line.” Ann bit back. She usually wouldn’t start a fight but really, this was too much. The least he could really do was ask his friend to buy whatever he needed instead of taking everyone’s time, everyone who had been waiting in line for the past grave thirty plus minutes. Ann would have even forgiven him more if he had arrived earlier and cut-in-line with his friend if they weren’t right in front already.

Still, he didn’t seem to care at all. He didn’t move the slightest on his spot on the very front of the line.

“I’m sorry?”

Ann wanted to cut his tongue and his hair.

“Oi Jeong, your turn.”

“Yeah.”

The boy walks to the front of the cashier, and Ann didn’t know if he was taking pleasure in literally hair-slapping her each time he turned his head.

‘This isn’t worth my anger. This isn’t worth my time. This isn’t worth my anger. This isn’t worth my time.’ Ann takes a few hefty breaths as she clutches her purse to herself tightly while glaring at the back of the tall boy who took her spot in being the next to taking her order.

So much for prince charming.

“Sorry I’m late. Seriously; I don’t know what our substitute teacher has against me.”

Tara laughs quietly to herself at the sense of déjà vu.

The head seniors of the girl division’s eyes were on Bree for just a moment with a small smile at her rattled entrance, before resuming to make eye contact with the newcomers. “We prepared a small project and we hope that you all participate even if it may be a bit troublesome,” one of the hosts declares. A few subtle whines and sighs didn’t go overheard, Seulgi clears her throat at this.

“This project has been used for the past years since BoysBe had started accepting female applicants. We have received great feedback for continuing this project because it helps the small population of us female students get to know each other more—“

Bree stood awkwardly alongside the chair she sat on. Tara could well-nigh sense her friend’s aura unconsciously tapping on her shoulder.

She was anxious.

Bree was the only one standing up in the sea of seats after all. What’s worse was the fact that the venue looked too big for the small populace of students. Tara’s nose scrunches a little; she thought they had prepared enough chairs for the event, for both newcomers and program members.

“Do you want to sit down? We could switch and—“

“No it’s okay,” Bree instantly replies. “I’m okay.”

Tara looks up at her and as if Bree caught on, she tries to smile at her, just to reassure her.

Yup, Tara knew she wasn’t.

“So the project goes like this—“

Tara sighs. Knowing Bree, she declined because she didn’t want to put Tara in her situation or merely lived up to her mistake of running late. Tara sat too far from Vee, so she wouldn’t be able to signal for any vacant chairs— she wasn’t allowed to bring out her mobile device either since there were some admin around. Nevertheless, Tara wanted to find some way to—

“Aubs.”

“Mm?”

“There’s a seat at that corner—“

“—it’s okay,” she answers, but her attention was on the seat right where Tara pointed. “I could stay like this the whole program, I’ve been sitting too—“

“Aubs, we were tasked to be partners with a new student remember?”

She shut up

Score for Tara.

“Ahh… right,” Bree sighs as if it was too troublesome to walk all the way to the other side of the room. Though Tara knew it took a bit of nervousness out of her system. “Okay, talk to you later.”

Alth believed she would have a heart attack if she didn’t realise that the dark shadow she had seen through her peripheral vision had just been another student who hastily moved by the narrow paths of the venue.

The girl walked without making a single noise — the venue appeared too silent in spite of the instrumentals that played at the background during the flow of the program— and the fact that the girl just popped out of the mass of colourful heads (that were the same height as her even if she were already standing) scared her shitless.

The petite girl continued to walk — all too silently for Alth’s poor heart— until she reached the back of the venue where Alth had been ushered to.

Alth did her best not to look at her the closer she got to her seat.

“Excuse me,” her voice had a high pitch, something that was too common among tiny girls.

“Y-Yeah?” God— Alth almost gave herself a whiplash when she turned her head to the girl— when would she be able to control that stuttering.

She points with a tiny finger towards the empty chair to her left, “is this seat taken?”

What was with her and calling everything small about this girl.

“Ah, no it’s not.”

The girl nods her head a bit brashly before dropping herself onto the seat as if her life depended on it.

Not that Alth really knew she was edgy.

Alth covers her mouth to suppress a gasp that nearly came out from her mouth— although the girl who just took her seat beside her gave her a sideway glance— it’s the first time a female student actually spoke to her before she initiated it in the academy.

Seems petty? Please don’t mind her then.

Alth inwardly gulped, before cautiously peering back at her.

It was perhaps, such an absurd or overexcited thought, but she felt her heart bloat at the idea that she didn’t have to go over extreme measures of pressuring her heart and angst to speak to someone new.

This was a good start right?

“— please find a partner you think you’d like to be with during the project.”

Alth snaps from her daze. A number of students started to get up from their chairs, some shyly approaching each other, while the rest, for some reason, had claimed each other as partners as if they already knew each other.

This was her chance.

“Hey, uhm—“ Alth turns to the girl earlier only to find a few students surrounding her chair already if not lined up.

“Senpai, can you be my partner?”

A couple of more girls start to approach and crowd both of their chairs. Alth shrinks to herself at the amount of people who wanted to be partners with the only person she had in mind. She didn’t know who else to approach, nor did she have any same-gendered friends yet in school.

Alth enviously looked over at the girl who sat beside her before staring at her hands on her lap.

She wanted to feel like that— wanted, accepted, by everyone. She had back then, in her old school (by her friends at least) but now she could hardly find the courage to even talk to her female classmates and the week was about to end and she could imagine herself alone for the rest of her high school life and—

“Sorry,” she bows slightly as she adjusts herself in her seat, “but Althea’s my partner.”

At the mention of her name, the chair beside her squeaks at the weight that came off and the students gathering the table began to find a partner elsewhere.

Alth blinks rapidly, very positive that the girl beside her never planned with her about being partners with her— not that she minded at all.

The girl drags her chair close to her— all Alth could do was stare at her with a bewildered expression— and when all the other girls had really left their spot, the girl stopped just as she was about to sit.

“You don’t have a partner, do you?”

“N-No.” Alth responded nervously.

“Sorry that was.. yeah.. would it be fine if I am?”

“Of course!” Alth nodded pleasantly, scooting her chair nearer to the girl. “And uhm…”

“Mm?”

“How’d you know my name?”

Alth is taken aback for a moment when the girl gives her such a wide smile— her expressions change quite rapidly— before pointing to her chest.

“Your nametag.”

“Oh.”

‘Shit, shit, shit…!’ Tara slides (slams) the door to their classroom open.

Since the program earlier had commenced, Tara may have been too engrossed in her conversation with the freshmen she decided to pair with for their project.

Tara had chosen the girl who was located right in front, and right at the center of their program’s venue. Tara couldn’t place any reason as to why she chose the girl, in fact— aside from how she had stood out so much because of her enormous height compared to her rowmates— it was as if her own feet just dragged her all the way to the front of the venue, to speak to that head that had been blocking her view of her senpai she adored so much.

“I packed your bags already,” someone calls out to her as she runs to her seat that was unfortunately assigned at the other side of the classroom.

However, Tara did not regret approaching the said freshman. The first question Tara had asked (aside from her name and cause of transferring) was how she had coped during the first day of class; this lead to tale of how the freshman had mistaken one of the ushers during the orientation as a female student due to his long hair when she had been trying to find her class.

She realises a tad too late that her bag was transferred to the desk closest to the door. Tara backtracks fast unzips it to check if everything was indeed inside.

Tara was absolutely sure that her new friend was talking about her classmate whose hair rivaled the female population’s own.

“Your canvases are leaning on the wall by the way,” Tara turns to Bree who had been talking to her the whole time, telling her everything she organised in her bag. “You know what, never mind. Lemme just…”

“Thanks Aubs.”

“No problem. I took those off your table. I figured some people might think it as something they needed to store away during cleaning time.” Bree pokes a paper she had folded into a lily flower into her bag’s pocket and resumes to pick her canvases, handing it to her instead of watching her struggling friend in a rush. “Are you sure you don’t want my help— those seem pretty heavy and—”

“—No— it’s fine— d-don’t you have a club to run though?”

“Club’s not until next week, don’t worry.”

“What? Why?”

“Our coach is still on a trip abroad—“

“Oh, okay, okay— Thank you! I’m so sorry about this.”

Bree waves a hand, “it’s okay! You seem to be in a rush so,” and pushes the sliding door with the heel of her foot to assist her friend in exiting. “Now go, shoo, shoo; run!”

Just as she was told, Tara takes off, into the corridors, nearly tripping on her own foot.

Bree holds the sliding door in its place as she watches her friend scuffle to overtake a few students. Irritated with how everyone was practically blocking the way, Bree enters their classroom again, leaning against the back of the door and inhaling noisily.

“Excuse me— excuse me!” Tara did her best to minimize the volume of her voice as soon as she realized that the halls were made differently from their building— why the hell was she barely seeing any windows in this side of the school? She could nearly see her words bouncing off the walls of the hallway.

Tara didn’t want to leave a horrible first impression with her new club mates. Giving her legs a bit of boost, Tara forgets how strained her limbs were from running and carrying the canvases that were required on the first meeting.

Despite wanting to keep her healthy figure, she knew her aikido was enough work out— and with the amount of work that was bound to be thrown at them for their junior year, Tara didn’t know if she would be able to balance her swimming training for competitions and aikido with the possible additions. She thought about her decision over the summer and concluded that she would most likely overwork herself and lose a good amount of sleep (not that she hadn’t) if she pushed through with her old routines and the supplementary amount of schoolwork for junior year. So the best solution would to let go of swimming as her club and find another source of outlet that won’t require having to compete outside school.

Health over achievements, her friends reminded her.

Painting was a brilliant choice, her mother had mentioned. Unlike clubs under the sports category, those under the visual arts category are given the opportunity to decline competitions offered to them. The most the club would ask for is a year-ends exhibit or a workshop for younger children inside and outside school. Not only did it only lessen the tasks Tara would handle, but her mother pointed out that she could now continue her old hobby without having to worry about stopping midway works due to exhaustion, training, or schoolwork.

Remembering how her mother had dragged her off to the mall to buy some materials in the middle of her organizing her room made her smile unconsciously.

“Thank you so much for lending your projector!”

Hearing the roar of an enthusiastic student in front of her, Tara’s train of thought is interrupted. Before she could think of dodging the boy who she had noticed (at the last minute) stepped out of a room, the canvases that she had stacked on her arms fell over as she ran into him.

Clank!

“Ah!”

Tara didn’t know whether the sound of distress came from her or the boy in front of her.

The topmost canvas fell to the floor and even if Tara attempted to save the rest of the pile by adjusting to the direction of its fall, the canvases proceeded to topple over onto the white floors of the hall.

Left with one canvas in her arms and her bag hanging severely on the pit of her elbow, Tara’s mouth is left ajar at the mess by her feet.

“I’m so sorry!” She cries out as she bows repeatedly before crouching down to place the only canvas she had successfully saved on the floor. Muttering how she regrets rejecting her best friend’s last offer to help, she reaches out to restacking the canvases that were scattered across the hall.

“Iyaa, it’s okay!” Tara hears him reply before hearing the shuffling of his feet.

Sensing that he may be departing and wanting to curse him internally for being uncouth, Tara looks up only to find him bending over a few steps away from her, picking up her round canvas that had rolled off farther than the rest.

He stands upright again— she averts her eyes immediately—before shuffling back to her with a sheepish smile. “Sorry by the way uhh—“ He bows before crouching down in front of her to help her restack her items.

“No no no no— I’m sorry, I was in a hurry since I might be late for club time—“

“Iyaa, I’m the one who came out of nowhere and…” he trails off.

Noticing him turn quiet, Tara hesitantly looks back at him and catches him eying her ribbon.

“—anyway senpai,“ Taken aback by his loud voice and credit of her higher status, Tara avoids his gaze and takes a hold of the base of the pile. The boy does the same though, which forces Tara to look back at his smiling face. “Let me help you with these!”

For some reason, he reminded her of a hamster.

She shakes her head, “no it’s okay! This is enough help, thank you so—“

“Senpai, come on, it’s okay!”

“But—!“

“Please?” Suddenly, his eyes are more visible now. Something in his eyes seemed to plead for her to bring him along, maybe guilt? “I’ll explain to your instructor why you’re tardy, you know… just in case?”

“O-Okay..” Tara nods uneasily.

The previous expression in his eyes faded as soon as he beamed again. Tara watches as the boy takes a better grip on the pile before jumping up to stand and taking a step beside her before letting her lead the way.

“Thank you so much, you really didn’t have to do this though,” she turns her head to him and his smile just turns brighter.

“No really, it’s all right! I don’t want to be the cause of you getting in trouble— I mean sure the teachers are nice here, but they get pretty harsh when you’re in a higher level.”

“I see..” Was all Tara could mutter.

In silence (aside from the occasional squeak of his shoes on the floor) they reached the end of the hall. She prayed inwardly and heard the boy whisper ‘I honestly wish there wasn’t a teacher inside yet. I hear artsy people come too early or too late’. She took a peek by the door’s small window before sighing in relief at the emptiness of the room.

“Your face tells me, you’re the early kind and that the teacher isn’t in yet.”

Tara laughs softly before sliding. the door open. She steps aside and allowed the boy to enter the room before following suit.

The boy surveys the room as he places her canvases on the nearest table. “Good thing no one’s here yet huh?”

The room wasn’t even set up yet aside from the first row of desks and chairs being prepared.

“Yeah.” She hangs her bag by the side of the table’s hook before looking around, “but it’s already ten minutes past three… I wonder if I got the schedule wrong.”

“Huh? Senpai, it’s just quarter to three.”

Tara glances at him and he points at something behind her.

“What—“her eyes widen at the sight of the clock and she runs a hand through her hair, “so my watch—“ she studies the said device for a moment before realising that the second hand this whole time hadn’t been moving.

“I was kind of wondering why you were in such a rush.” The boy admits, blinking at her. “Club doesn’t start till three right?”

“Y-Yeah…”

No wonder she saw a bunch of senior painters roaming near the cafeteria when she had sprinted from the farther building.

The boy had left after helping her set the rest of the desks in the room. He had also taken the initiative of carrying the teacher’s table by the platform and board before the instructor had arrived. He then excused himself, telling her that he promised to treat a best friend out after class. Vexed that he kept his best friend waiting and insist that he need not concern himself with the excess of the room’s mess, she had lightly sent him off.

“Starting next week, I will no longer supervising you again, but you can visit me in the faculty during break time or before I leave the school for any matter,” the teacher bows before smiling. “You are dismissed.”

The whole club stands to bow and acknowledge their dismissal before gathering their belongings or talking amongst themselves. Meanwhile, Tara sighs at her name written on the board.

Club Secretary: Avilla, Tara

“Tara-senpai.”

Said leader turns to her seatmate with a smile, “yeah?” masking her grief.

At least she wasn’t the club president.

“Uhh, I’m not sure but I think your phone has been buzzing in your bag.”

Briskly, Tara shoves her hand into her bag, swiping her phone with her thumb, not bothering to check the name of her caller.

“Hello—“

“Tara-senpai!”

“Ack—!!” She pulls her phone away from her ear before pulling back, “uh, h-hello?” She bows self-consciously at her club mates that glanced at her worriedly.

“Ne, senpai, how are you— where are you?!”

“Oh, I’m—“

“You broke your promise!!”

She got cut off again. For some reason, her brain was reacting slowly— ‘Get it together Tara!!’

She could hear her heart beating in her eardrums.

“Huh? What promise—“

“I waited for you by the shoe cubbies of the freshmen!”

“Ah!” Tara gasps in horror just as her foot unconsciously stomps on the floor “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry—“

“Yaa, senpaaai you hurt my feelings!! I got lost this morning!!”

She was upset with herself too.

“I’m so sorry Mingyu!”

#Childish Wars AU

2 notes · View notes

fancycollectionfury-blog1 · 6 years

Text

Why does it make car insurance a lot cheaper when i add a younger girl than me as a named driver?

"Why does it make car insurance a lot cheaper when i add a younger girl than me as a named driver?

i got told to add someone younger than me on my car insurance to make it affordable, she's 17 and I am but she's younger than me, she has a provisional liscence. Is this illegal?

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://averageinsurancecosts.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr