#(also please never take my ramblings in the tags too seriously)

[lenievi]

When you think about it, Kirk probably didn’t actually have friends when he was at the Academy, and that’s why he sought out a friendship with his instructor.

I know it’s popular to hc that him and Gary were classmates, but Gary was at the Academy when Kirk was a lieutenant and an instructor. Not a cadet/midshipman.

And these guys who were only jealous of Kirk and his success were still lieutenants like ten years later...

#aos kirk having a friend with him at the academy was a step to him being less lonely throughout his life #he'd become more trusting especially after what mccoy did for him #i don't think tos kirk trusts that anyone would 100% stick with him #he might come to understand in tff - at least in my inner tos 'verse anyway #i know people like to hc that aos kirk has trouble with commitment and believing that people won't leave him but #aos kirk has a proof that mccoy and spock won't leave him #tos spock betrayed kirk the first opportunity he got lmao #i should have watched the galileo seven LMAO but i can see myself talking about kirk as well even though he's barely in it #i wish my hcs were more inline with the fandom. it would make writing easier #tos nonsense #(also please never take my ramblings in the tags too seriously)

[catboybiologist]

Hi! I’m CatboyBiologist.

Formerly a femboy, now a trans woman just starting HRT, and a PhD student in molecular biology. I started using this online persona as a fun, shitposty way to explore gender a few years ago. I post selfies (generally sfw, but somewhat sexy, so minors and ppl who don’t like that have been warned), rambles about science, tutorials and advice from the stuff I’ve learned by being a femboy in the past, nature pictures, stuff about the ocean, my adorable grumpy little tortoise, and unsolicited opinions on random nerdy topics. Any pronouns are fine. I don’t plan to socially transition for a while, and still present as a man most of the time, so I’m used to whatever you wanna use for me (for now, I’ll update this if that changes). Please send me pictures of your pets or other cute animals in your life!

As a scientist, I’m also documenting my transition! This google sheet will be updated at least monthly. I also have additional metrics I’m keeping to myself, and pictures that go with this, but I’m not sharing them publicly yet. Keep in mind that this is just one person’s experience with HRT, and may not represent universal trends!

Adding a little something here, bc I think it was an interesting bit a writing: if you want to see me respond to a transphobe about what "biologically female" means, here's a thing I wrote about it. CW for transphobia and discussion, obviously.

Also, if any of my measurements look weird, its entirely possible I fucked up. Let me know if anything looks off!

Here’s some of my favorite pre-HRT pictures:

If you want to see more of my pre-HRT selfies, browse the “femboy” tag on my blog!

And as of this writing, I’m only 2 days after the start of HRT, so here’s a picture with my tortoise that’s technically post-HRT (but with 0 time for actual changes):

If you want to see my future post-HRT selfies, browse the “trans selfie” tag on my blog!

Also here's another really cute picture and fanart of my tortoise by @whalesharkcat:

I have affectionately given my tortoise the title of The Grumpus.

I also wrote a couple of tutorials and general vibes about being a femboy before I started HRT:

Sometimes I make shitposts of myself, I don’t take myself too seriously:

This includes the way I came out on tumblr:

And here’s an overly serious, long ramble about trans thoughts and things that I wrote shortly afterwards:

Later addition: Someone asked how I take selfies, so I wrote a quick and dirty guide with some tips on how I do so in response to their ask:

Oh yeah and apparently I was a 196 microcelebrity? I never to thought I was popular enough for that but apparently some people do 🤷‍♀️. So uh, hi 196 tags, I'm abusing you for my pinned post LOL

As for terminology, I personally do think of myself as a “man who is becoming a woman” as opposed to having always been a woman. If that doesn’t resonate with your experience, I totally get that! But that’s why I freely call pre-HRT me a femboy, while still calling post-HRT me a trans woman. I’m also keeping the blog name as CatboyBiologist for the forseeable future, because at this point, Catboy just seems like a gender neutral term to me.

I’m also trying to put together a script for a podcast regarding how studying biology influenced my perspective on sex and gender- lmk if there’s any interest in that! It’s probably gonna be way too long and indulgent but oh well.

So uh. Yeah. I don’t end these types of things well. Byeeeeee

#196 #r196 #r/196 #rule #/r/196 #trans #transitioning #trans woman #trans femme #tortoise #tort #russian tortoise #trans tutorial #trans tummy tuesday #transgender #trans tumblr #trans selfie #trans journal

[cryptidcorners]

Biker!Mike Schmidt x M!Reader Headcanons

Description: Headcanons with your biker boyfriend, Mike!

Media: FNaF!Movie [ AU ]

Character: Mike Schmidt (+ Abby)

Tags: Biker!Mike Alternate Universe, Fluff, Headcanons mixed with Drabbles, Protectiveness, Established Relationship, Found Family, Cute Stuff, Semi-Domestic, Romantic, Comfort + Uses Masculine Terms

Warnings: Mentions of (Gang, Vehicle, Physical) Violence, Injury + Kidnapping, Slight FNaF!Movie Spoilers, Depressive Thoughts, Stress, Extreme Nightmares

read my TOS + Mike Schmidt Masterlist

Definitely a show-off, even before you started dating. He wouldn't boast too loudly though, he prefers to smoothly tell you how he got blackeye or some new asset on his bike. He always melts when you're impressed by his feats, even if they were from failure.

Mike's a collector. While cycling or suffering from boredom in his dull jobs, he'd swipe a few things that grab his attention and share it with you. He enjoys making chains for you and Abby. It hasn't been the first time Abby has been dragged out of school for wearing a pin with some questionable language Mike didn't notice.

Absolutely adores helping you dress up to resemble his biker wear. Loves helping you find bracelets, decorative eyeliner and rebellious-printed clothes. It makes me squeal eternally.

Gets intense anxiety in populated areas, mostly due to his trauma with Garrett. He doesn't want to think about anyone taking you or Abby away. He's stupid protective in public spaces. With his already intimidating demeanour, it's safe to say nobody bothers talking to you too much.

He enjoys using pet names, but he jokingly calls you "sir", "bro" or "boytoy" a lot. Speaking of which, Mike adores when you make up titles for him. It's something he treasures a lot. A special name for him? And him only? Makes his heart melt.

Takes you on bike rides at any opportunity. He also loves taking Abby in rides too and doing basic tricks with you watching from the sidelines. He's always careful, he could never forgive himself if either of you got hurt.

One of his favorite things to do is let you touch his hair. Nothing makes him happier than intimate moments like that. He likes it more than cuddling and neck kisses. It's just the simple things in life that appeal to him the most.

Wears the silliest shirts while he isn't at work or roaming the streets. Either quotes involving boyfriends or cartoon merchandise. It amuses all of you, but it genuinely makes him happy to indulge in a separate style. Definitely has a: "Men love me, Fish Fear Me" hat somewhere.

You're always at his aid when he comes back bruised. Like the first bullet, he'd calmly hum you an out of tune, over exaggerating story to make himself look good. Truly, Mike doesn't think he deserves you. So, he refuses to embarrass himself.

Loves kissing. That's all.

"Come on, Mike. I gotta go," you giggled as he pressed featherweighted kisses against your skin. You could feel him smiling before he pulled back with a heated sigh. "Just a minute, please? You know how much I miss you." With a playfully eye roll, you wrap your hands around his sides and hug him as he continued peppering you again while grinning sweetly.

Always referencing something. Either it's from a show or song he likes. He's always dumbfounded when you don't understand and ends up spending thirsty minutes rambling about music history.

Pulls pranks occasionally, mostly with Abby's help. A few prank wars have gone down in your household.

Has at least two tattoos based on you (and Abby), he takes his relationships very seriously.

Cried when Abby called you her "dad" once. This loser is so head over heels for you he'd sob if you were complimented him. It makes his heart throb to see you and his sister connect despite everything.

Very defensive. If anything goes wrong, he's either going to use grade school insults or result to violence. There were a couple of times he couldn't come home due to arrest. He'd come back as if nothing happened.

If you ever got into an argument, Mike would try to give you the most formal apology ever. Either by notes or heavily descriptive speeches about how special you are to him. Most of the time it was pretty cheesy, but you couldn't help but be smitten by his adorable attempts.

Much deeper voice + Slightly Childish. He's still pretty shy when he isn't in his element, so Mike is much more confident with you around. Mostly due to his need to impress you.

So much fist bumping.

Mike's bike is DEFINITELY named after you. Anyone who asks about it is immediately shot with dumps of his adoration if you. Bro will never shut up about his boyfriend. Ever.

Mike has definitely gone through those: "This is for you," and failed immediately. As much as it embarrassed him, he finds it cute how fond you were of it. His face flares up a lot around you.

"God, I'm so sorry I missed it." He frowned, face drenched with numb scarlet. "I didn't mean to make a fool out of you." Mike relaxed once you gripped his leather glove with a smile, "So? I still love you. I think it was sweet how you tried to impress me. I'm proud of you." Mike swore he was starstruck right there.

Loves holding your hand, even in public. It's one of the only forms of affection he's comfortable with displaying.

#💤 mike schmidt #mike schmidt #🚲 biker!schmdit #headcanons #writing #writers on tumblr #fnaf #josh hutcherson #fnaf movie #mike schmidt x reader #fnaf movie spoilers #if yall want more of him ask!!! #mike schmidt x male reader #michael schmidt x male reader

[feelbokkie]

Emergency Bokkie's Room #2

(Mamma Mia: Here We Go Again)

I want to start off by saying that I'm not mad. At least not right now. I was at first, but I'm just tired at this point and something should be said.

You might have noticed that I haven't been as active content writing wise lately and that I've stopped tagging my mutuals in the hashtag section of my posts and there are reasons for that.

fair warning, there will be swearing below

there will also probably be spelling and grammar mistakes bc I don't care

I am getting tired. I'm not burnt out. God, I wish I was because i have so many ideas running through my head at all times that it's exhausting.

I'm straight up, no longer having a good time on this account and that's because of somethings that have been happening behind the scenes. I wasn't going to talk about it but at the end of the day, I should address them, even if it's only once.

In no particular order:

First, if you're going to harass my mutuals. Don't. I stopped tagging my mutuals via hashtags, I deleted my mutuals list, and I am painstakingly going through the old hashtags and deleting them. They're my friendships. Who I interact with, how I interact with them, and when I interact with them is between me and that individual.

If you want to be friends with me, talk to me. Ask anyone, I'm pretty pleasant to talk to when I'm not going through it.

But also, remember that I'm an adult and I can take care of myself. I don't need anyone fighting my battles for me. If you're concerned about who I surround myself with, take that up with me directly, or trust that can handle things on my own. Because, at the end of the day, I can. If you're mad that I'm friends with them and not you, maybe try having a conversation with me first before you go attacking people. Just a a help suggestion.

Second,

i know i'm annoying at times. i'm the youngest child, it's in my blood. if you are getting annoyed by my rambles, simply just block them. I tag all my rumbles and I even made a helpful guide on how to do so right here and i even have a list of commonly used tags that i have on this account too that you can also block

Finally, I shouldn't have to say this because it should be very obvious but shit like this is never okay:

First of all, if you're going to be blatantly racist to anyone, unkindly get the fuck off my page. My fics are not for you. I don't have the time or patience to deal with you or your ignorant ass. If I see you being disrespectful towards anyone in my asks, comments, etc. it's an automatic block on all my accounts, I don't give a single fuck.

Secondly, I'm delusional, yes, but I'm also just having fun. I'm not actually trying to date anyone in skz or any other idol for that matter. It's called a joke, I don't know if anyone's explained the concept to you, but it's not to be taken seriously. Just like my page isn't. Me joking about me dating Seungmin and how "that man owns me atp" isn't serious and it wasn't serious enough for you to call me the n-word with the hard -er. Which, congratulations btw, you are the second person ever to call me that to my face (the first being my dad and he is the devil reincarnate so, what does that make you?).

I shouldn't have to sit here and lecture anyone on basic human decency and common sense but here we are. We are very rapidly approaching a future where I'm just not on tumblr at all anymore which sucks for a multitude of reasons and I'm just trying to have fun like everyone else.

Okay, that's all. For those of you who read through the end and didn't need to be scolded, sorry about that. Please take this big hug as an apology

#emergency feelbokkies room

[moshieee]

Hello it is I, random anon who does not know you and has never interacted with you before, what is your opinion of your mutuals?

Oh hi @bixell-pixell I'll include you even if we're not mutuals I think you're pretty chill all things considered

That's kinda it idk you that well

Anyways

You didn't specify so I'm going to list all my mutuals in the order of oldest to newest on my following page that I remember sorry of I missed anyone and for the @ s

*inhales*

@e-the-village-cryptid (I don't have a tag for e yet but it would probably just be E)

Not only the first person who I became friends with here but also the first one I ever started sharing my stories with, even if we don't talk too much I'm glad Every time we do and I see them on my dash, (they bring some of my favorite posts and when I do send posts sometimes I mix up and send them their own reblogs) I'm so glad we're still friends, thanks for letting me ramble about stuff for 6 hours hehe

@jaqofallgenders (no tag for jaq yet either)

my in person friend and the longest friendship I've ever had with someone, love you 🫶. I'll be more specific on Monday if our ADHD doesn't kick in and make us both forget

@strawberry-seal77 (seal-berry!!!)

Hi hi hi yellows my friend 👋 the person I consider to be the second ever friend I made on here, a lovely person as well and wait waaa and an amazing artist too 👀??? Love you silly goofball and the amazing posts and jokes you have we should chat more often I thinkith.

@rabid-mercenary16 (Rabid jumpscare)

Hey hey hey .... BWAMP! Hope you feel better soon

I probably have the most to say about Rabid but all try to make it a bit shorter. besides being the first artist to do art jokes and include me, with we also became mutuals and interacting around a time when my life started to get a lot better. Even if she's not the only factor in that I definitely associate her with stuff improving, and she did play a big factor in it (I already explained a lot on my Valentine's Day gift to her and the others). Also she's just an awesome person to spend time with and be goofy, amazing sense of humor and I just love being friends with such an awesome person and artist.

@dia-smthidk (Dia fren)

I'm assuming you don't want a bowl of soup

I also said a lot about them in my Valentine's Day gift, but we've become closer friends sense then even if we don't get to chat as much as I'd like to. I relate a lot and am surprised how we have so much in common. Amazing artist and person as well and I wish we could hang out more, idc if they think they're bringing down the mood when/if they bring stuff up about irl, and maybe I won't figure out their timezone but oh well, please take care of yourself gender sibling.

@bunnybunnsowo (BUN BUN BROTHER!!)

little brother 🫶🫶💝💞🫶✨👋❤️!!!

(I could have sworn we became mutuals before Dia?)

another person I shared a lot about with the Valentine's Day gift, I love you my little brother! Seriously one of the kindest people I've met and I'm so glad they have bug in his life. Bun deserves the world and they keep sending me opposum images!!! Gona die from cuteness and his kindness one of these days istg

@spookykittyzzz (greaah why don't I have a tag for you???)

A very kind person and artist I don't know too much sense we're not that close yet but love the few chats we have had so far. Hope we get to hang out more even if I'm awful at reaching out to others and saying hi.

@glitchyk (goop buddies)!!

Nooo the parallels

One of the first people who was interested to deep dive into my creations and ask about my stories and worlds They're probably competing with Rabid with how much I have to say about her/silly. Seriously it's incredible how much we have in common and now I get to share and collaborate our sonas stories together it's amazing. And as someone once said "you can yap for hours". I love how creative and clever they are, I just wish they would be kinder to herself. One day I'll make glichy see how awesome she is.

@unfunnyaceartist (Floridian disadvantage) I feel like I should change that

When I say I was shookith when ace asked to be friends I mean I was shookith first person so show up and ask that (the others kinda just happened). Amazing artist and don't believe her lies she is funny. I'm so heckn glad we're friends., love the goofy and silly idc if she's a bit of a simp they've helped me a lot start to understand slang and references I'm supposed to understand shhshsh (such is the curse of how I grew up) we need to make our mafia sonas interact at some point I can already imagine the chaos /silly

@neptunestoast (plushy slime)

Hugs hugs hugs*

Trying my best not to baby talk I swear. amazing person first person to show up and be like "hey I Wana do something for you and your friends". Love their humor and another gender sibling!!! Hugs for ever for as long as they're ok with it. I love their creativity as well and Noodle is so adorable. I just want to pick them up in a hug so much. Kibbity/silly

@ner5y (no tag woops ill figure something out)

What are you doing here??? How are we friends???

I was absolutely confused and startled when they followed me especially since it was during a spoons argument . Amazing artist like holy heck I wish I was allowed to curse on this blog. Their humor also took me by surprise when I got invited to the discord, and even if they doubt how well they're running it I think they're doing amazing. And I love our silly interactions like this one

@vexation-816 (chaotic ADHD buddy!!!)

Why did it take me so long to follow you istg

ADHD ADHD ADHD my buddy oh pal we both got that and it's driving us insane/silly. Love how creative he is and the ideas for his sona and character lore. Also one of the first people who shared a character they added to my nightlight au. This is getting twords the end and I'm tired of whiting so much and am on a timer oh no. But your amazing dude don't ever forget thag

@butlerbugbunny (anxiety bunny buddy)

This is why I didn't respond to the DM yet hshsh

New friend who I feel anxious talking to sometimes but a wonderful kind bunny who I'm also incredibly happy to be friends with. Love his art so much it's amazing (shoot shoot timer is going off) I'm glad he's their for bun and wish them the best I possibly can 🫶.

@lilithloves-you (lillith my be-loathed?) need to change that

Don't you dare bring up grilled cheese

Glitchys friendo who I'm also friends with now. We don't interact too much but I've sent her on missions to go hug glitchy (to help both of them feel better but shhh). I hope we become closer friends in the future.

#god this is a lot anyways im off to the store now #mutuals #E #seal-berry #Rabid jumpscare #bun bun brother #dia fren #goop buddies #Floridian disadvantage #plushy slime #anxiety bunny buddy #Lilith my be-loathed?

[pinkandpurple360]

I think it's also worth mentioning that you can still like a ship but realize the problems with it. I know a lot of Stoltiz fans who shipped it during season one because how 'messy' it was (I wouldn't call forced sex and one dehumanizing the other messy but ya know) jumped ship once season two aired being how it took away the things that they found interesting about it and attempted to make it 'wholesome' when it never was or meant to be so.

I'm complete Fizzomdous trash but even I realize the problems within season two and hate how both were defanged and feeling as if Fizz's personality and treatment from the writers made him less of the gremlin we loved while also taking away his agency (I'm the one who sent the disability ask a while ago). Yes they still have cute moments but I kinda wish their relationship they were treated like...well ya know, like they're both adults. Plus them tag team roasting your sex life. That was fun.

Hell, I could have gotten behind Stoltiz if there wasn't the full moon deal plus while still privileged Stolas at least attempted to get to know Blitzo as a person supposed to only use him for sex. Yes, Stolas still cheated and could be a bit out of touch with reality without realizing how much this is affecting Octavia, but at least there's a chance of character development and a real messy kind of relationship.

Helluva Boss is supposed to be a show for adults yet treats its audience like children more than shows aimed for that demographic. It feels as if it wants to write messy or dark dynamics but then backpedals and tries to 'savage' what's already an unhealthy relationship into something that we should be rooting for. Honestly it wouldn't surprise at this point if Viv chooses to recon the whole of season one being it makes Stolas look bad when he was suppose to be the bad guy to begin with.

Sorry for rambling...

Anon, if every message was like you. I’d never be getting irritated with people. Please know I don’t have a problem with anything said here.

And that’s fine, because we don’t all have to debate things. You don’t have to feel guilty for liking or not liking something. Even if people test me sometimes that’s at least what I try to stick to. I’m tired of shipping wars. You are in no way a bad person if you don’t feel like looking deep into things that happened because everyone will enjoy things differently. I run a blog that’s partially random ‘turn your brain off and enjoy it’ content; and critical content where I really don’t hold back.

So I think this has all taught me to improve my tagging systems so people can filter it and only have to engage with it if they want to.

I completely understand and agree with you, and people should enjoy the fanon in any way they choose. Because those are the fans stories, their content, their original material. They also aren’t above critique when things go to nasty territory (you probably know the kind I mean) but are usually harming nobody.

Its different when we get to ignoring and recontextualising canon events that all of us saw. “That didn’t happen the way you remember” “you’re delusional if you think the scene happened like that” (this oneeee 👹🔥🔥) or when it gets really bad, reaching levels of “actually sex consent is a flexible thing, like paying rent” 😶😶because then it leaves the realm of fiction, and right to reality.

Personally, the romantic relationships other than moxxie and Millie weren’t why I ever watched the show. I don’t really find relationship melodrama fun but if I’m suppose to take it seriously, I will.

I think I’d like Stolitz as exes that are now on ok terms. Almost like an anti verosika. The first relationship Blitzø ended in a more healthy way. Them both realising the spark has gone, the feelings weren’t really “love” but loneliness, and that they learned a lot from each other, but don’t really like each other anymore that way, too much bad blood had happened, and have very different priorities and values in life. A scene where Blitz sees Stolas at Ozzies with someone new, with them both smiling and chatting and stolas blushing at his new crush, and the other guy blushing back and crushing just as hard, then we see blitz genuinely smiling and happy for him without any hint of jealousy, then heading back to pride with his friends, that’s a beautiful ending. To me anyway.

Hell if Via feels this strongly like Stolas’ lustful obsession is ruining his relationship with her. That is grounds for ending it. My dude, he’s just not the one for you. LooLoo land and Seeing Stars, where it ends with Stolas holding Via, only her, while IMP are in their own corner, separate, but happy, those are the happy endings. Not tacking stolas onto IMP and having Via tell us that stolas loves blitz over her even though he honestly…doesn’t. Like cmon there’s no way in any universe blitz is competing with Octavia.

Man can you imagine if Via helped Stolas make a lustinder, do a profile pic, find new dating tactics and choose an outfit? And be very supportive and excited for him? Hi?? yes?? that’s super cute and that’s stolas fixed for me. Stella shouldn’t be his only romantic history and frame of reference, that’s bonkers.

#helluva boss critical #stolitz critical #fizzarozzie critical

[sydney-the-faithful]

Welcome to my blog!

Hello! I'm Sydney, it's a pleasure to meet you :) I started this account mainly to scroll & look around, but it seems to have been passed around school as a "good way to contact me"? Um. With my busy schedule, I don't post as much as I'd like to, but feel free to send a message!

I'm a library assistant & spend most of my time out-of-school either at the temple, or helping my father with his shop. When I'm able to find free time, I like to hear people discuss books and share aesthetic photo posts on here :) It isn't often, but it's a joy nonetheless. You know what they say, "There's no rest for the pious!" ^^

P.S.: (Because I've been getting asks about it...) Please, don't send me messages complaining about your books being overdue. You know the rules, there's really nothing I can do about it unless you want to get the headmaster involved.

Thanks!

Main Tags for Organization: #sydney_speaks — All of my thoughts in one place! ((1st person POV. In-character responses. Sydney replies/makes the posts.)

#sydney_scenarios — ((3rd person POV. Allows scenarios, highlights in-person rp scenes instead of having Sydney solely communicate through Tumblr. Also, gives a more in-depth view of their thoughts/feelings/actions.))

#personal — About me! Deeper, more interpersonal thoughts & feelings.

#recommended to me — Books, poems, songs & other pieces of media that I've been requested to check out :)

#library inquiries — For those too shy to talk to me in person, I suppose.

#+love — ((+Lust?)) Posts that I find endearing <3

#+corruption — A stockpile of suggestive posts that are sorted for later to be discussed in the confessional. ...Or ignored entirely. #destructive confessions — Categorizes my more... depraved anons? Mostly those who want to be harmed/harm me.

#((ooc)) — ((out of character. Thoughts, ramblings, & account updates from yours truly!))

More out-of-character info under the cut! Please read!

This is a roleplay blog run by @macabrecravings! The character I write for is Sydney the Faithful from Degrees of Lewdity. Please DNI if you are under 18!

Mainly, I run this blog as masc Sydney but absolutely feel free to refer to them as any gender w/ any body parts. Doesn't matter much to me, I'm just here to have a silly time writing for them!

Starting off, I intend to portray faithful Sydney, if y'all end up corrupting them that would be really fun to see :P

You can roleplay in any style! Whether that be plainly asking them questions to answer, sending in full fledged scenarios/traditonal roleplay, etc. I'll gladly take them all and reply as best I can!

Some responses may be ooc, but I'll try my best! This is just a random blog anyway, don't take it too seriously. Not trying to overwrite canon here, LOL.

If I'm uncomfortable with a certain ask, I'll most likely just delete or ignore it! So, be free! Send whatever! You'll never know unless you try :D

*OC/In character interactions are open and encouraged!!

(Last edited: April 3th, 2024.)

#sydney_speaks #sydney_scenarios #personal #recommended to me #library inquiries #+love #+corruption #destructive confessions #((ooc))

[aehyei]

PERFECT VS. YOU? IT’S ALWAYS BEEN YOU. day five in 31 days and nights with na jaemin.

📌 PURE FLOOF !!

pairing: boyfriend!njm x reader, genre: fluff, established relationship!au, angsty

TAG LIST FOR THE SERIES: @bubblegumjeon @dayandnighthyuck @airpodbaekuwu @sunshine-skz @jaeymark @luvrboyjeno @sunshinedhyuck @thiccfullsun @baehaechannie @champagne-n-yachts @bitchenderyy + if you want to be included, please reply on the original post!

“I’VE GOT THE BIGGEST DISCOVERY. DON’T YOU KNOW WINNIE THE POOH’S ACTUALLY A GIRL? ALL MY CHILDHOOD SHITTY LIFE, I THOUGHT SHE WAS A MAN. DAMN IT.” You continued to speak but stopped when you noticed Jaemin was too busy on his computer. A huge frown escaped you. “Jaem?”

“Hm?” He hummed, his eyes still never leaving the screen. For the past hours, you’ve been talking and talking and he’s been editing one single picture. You know he always takes his projects in Uni seriously, but normally, he always made you his first priority.

“Is there…something wrong?”

Jaemin stopped clicking on his mouse, tilting his head a little but still not facing you. “Hey, uh, babe, remember the days we first met?”

“Of course I did. How could I ever forget those years? You and the boys are the best things that happen to me, but don’t tell them. I really hate it when they tease the hell out of me.” You rambled on, having the habit of being a little talkative sometimes. Especially when you’re in a good mood. But something’s telling you Jaemin wasn’t enjoying the day like you do.

“Remember when you had a huge crush on Haechan?”

Now you were sure something was wrong. The crush Jaemin was speaking about happened three years ago, back when you first moved to South Korea. “Uh…yeah, I think so? It wasn’t a serious crush. Haechan was cute and really funny, and I was a dumb kid.”

Jaemin finally turned his chair to face you. He cleared his throat and threaded his fingers together with his lap. “Didn’t you also have a crush on Jeno after Haechan?”

“Again, I was dumb.” You repeated. “I wouldn't call them a crush. I just admired the boys. They were talented and stuff. Besides, all that mattered to me is the dorky kid who “accidentally” spilled his, mind you, extremely hot coffee on my white uniform.”

Jaemin couldn’t help but laugh at the memory. He remembered it very well, as if it all happened just yesterday. Ever since Jisung introduced you to him and the boys, he always had these weird butterflies swarming deep in his stomach. He had the urge to always impress you, even if he mostly failed.

“Hey! I couldn’t help it. Your beauty blinded me.” He huffs, his heart fluttering at your choice of words. Finally, you smiled when you saw him loosen up. “Oh? So, are you confessing to me? Sorry, I have the most amazing boyfriend back at home and he easily gets jealous.”

Jaemin's smile widens as he jerks up from his seat, wrapping his arms around your smaller figure, causing the two of you to fall on a small bed. “God, you’re the best.” You ran your fingers through his hair, pressing your lips on his head when he snuggled on your chest. “Says you, Na.”

“I love you.” He pouts, resting his chin by your chest so he could get lost in your eyes.

“I love you too.” You reply sweetly, sighing in full content by his warmth.

You always make him feel better in every way, even if he didn’t tell you what was going on. That was one of the reasons why he falls deeper in love with you everyday.

#nct imagines #nct scenarios #nct drabbles #nct #nct angst #nct fluff #hyej4e fics #nct dream fluff #nct dream imagines #nct smut #nct dream scenarios #nct dream smut #nct u #nct u smut #nct u scenarios #nct u imagines #nct jaemin #jaemin #na jaemin #jaemin imagines #jaemin scenarios #jaemin smut #na jaemin smut #jaemin fluff #jaemin angst #jaemin fanfic #jaemin x reader #jaemin x y/n #jaemin x you #nct dream angst

[inkovert]

Writeblr Positivity Tag

Tagged by @pertinax--loculos. Before I begin I just wanna say...Pockets...this BFF-ship is not one-sided. You're super cool and I always love seeing you on my dash and I miss reading about your stories (haven't heard about ATN in a minute D: I know it's in the 'second draft/editing' graveyard so I get it). My only disappointment is that we evidently live in different time zones so we're never active at the same time :'(. But yeah just had to clear that up. So EHEM, onto the tag!

What motivates you to write?

Oof. I've been trying to remind myself of the answer to this because your girl seems to keep forgetting. I think @pertinax--loculos put it beautifully: 'I write for the same reason I breathe. Because if I didn't, I would die'. I don't think I'm necessarily motivated to do it at this point, it's just that I'm incapable of NOT doing it. Which inevitably makes it difficult when I find myself in a slump and desperate to give up because I can't produce anything I deem "good enough". I know despite my frustrations I will keep trying to produce something because giving up is evidently not an option. In the past though, I think I was motivated by the prospects of other people eventually reading my work and wanting to give those imaginary future people the same feelings/experiences my favorite authors have given me when I read my favorite book. But as it's gotten harder and harder to get eyes on my work, that's stopped being a motivator for me (which is probably for the best).

A line/short snippet of your writing that you are most proud of/happy with. If not, maybe share a line of someone else's work you love (just please credit them):

Can you believe it took me SO long to find an answer for this LOL. I think I'm mostly proud of how scenes I've written turned out, not necessarily specific lines. But I'll go with this one, because it stuck with me the most after I wrote it:

The last thing I truly tried to create was the destruction of myself.

Which OC makes you smile every time you think/talk about them, and what are they like?

Hands down, it's Vince. Like, I love that boy. I can think about him in relation to almost everyone in my cast of characters and I smile even harder. But I think the relationship that I love the most in my story is the one he has with Cami. It's just so...wholesome and pure and playful and loving. Like the two of them truly come to care for each other so much, in a way that almost transcends any kind of relationship (their relationship is fully platonic btw). But Vince is just a lovable idiot. He is the resident himbo. He doesn't take life or himself too seriously which makes him easy to get along with. But he also has such an incredibly big heart and is actually quite sensitive once you get to know him. But the care, respect and admiration he grows to have for Cami over the course of the story is just so beautiful to watch and is one of the parts of my story I look forward to writing/developing the most. I could ramble on and say more but I will reign myself in.

What process of writing do you enjoy the most?

I know this is an uncommon answer but...editing. Blank pages intimidate me. I hate coming up with words on the spot with nothing to build off of. But I love coming back to a chapter I've written, opening up a blank doc beside it and rewriting the chapter with stronger language/words/prose/dialogue etc. I'm often able to flex my writing chops when re-writing or editing a chapter rather than just writing it from scratch. The right words just come to me a lot easier and I can phrase things more eloquently than before. I know this is not what true true editing is...come back and ask me again in 6 months when I have to edit the completed second draft of my story and I'm writhing in agony.

What part of writing do you think you are the best at? (Yes stroke your own ego it's okay)

Dialogue. Dialogue. Dialogue. I struggle with writing an engaging narrative voice/exposition. Can't worldbuild for my life. Descriptions scare me. But ask me to write a compelling, emotional, humorous, realistic conversation between two characters and I will hit the ground running.

What is something in the writeblr community that is most enjoyable?

I think Pockets also had a good answer for this that I agree with - people never forget you. You can be gone for 4 weeks, 4 months, or 4 years, but the minute you log back on and make a post, people will welcome you back into the community with open arms like you never left. And you realize just how much of a place you actually had in the community whereas often when you're in it on the day to day it can feel like you're shouting into the void and no one's listening. But people are listening and lurking and liking your posts, they just may be too shy to approach you or prefer to be in the shadows. But I can think of like at least 5 writeblrs who I've thought about in the last month and wondered where they went off to because I haven't seen them on my dash for months. Despite my qualms with writeblr at times, there is a semblance of a community here that I don't think many other platforms have or can replicate.

A writing tool/device you use that helps you with writing? (It could be speech to text, a writing program etc)

Scrivener. Literally Scrivener. I would not be able to do anything if I didn't have Scrivener. Scrivener is my life. It literally has everything a writer could need and more. When I tell you that everyday I'm discovering a new feature on this shit as if I'm using it for the first time rather than the mf 10 years I've had it. It legit has everything. “But what about —?” Yes. The answer is yes, it can do that, too. And I'm so grateful for it. And it's a ONE TIME purchase which is such a steal. It provides you so much and asks so little in return.

A piece of worldbuilding that you like in your own story? (It could be the magic system, a particular place in the story, a law, etc)

HA

(what an anticlimactic question to end on but I legit do not worlbuild. I truly admire anyone who can but it's not me.)

Tag some people whose works you love/have been your biggest supporters:

@starry-sky-stuff @lady-grace-pens @rose-red-ink @freedominique @vacantgodling @kaiusvnoir

And anyone who sees this and wants to jump in! Feel free to say I tagged you, happy to read your responses.

#tag game #know your strengths #world building isn’t mine #I grow anxious at the thought of it #I just make a bunch of mundane settings bc settings are needed for any story #but I don’t consider that world building

[waywardsou2]

REALLY QUICK. I TAKE REQUESTS FOR MOOD BOARDS

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New master post because the old one is broken

About me!

Welcome to my blog! My name is Wayward (not irl obviously. Though I wish) Just some basic information *ahem* I'm transmasc, androgenous (masc leaning), omniflux (but mostly mlm). Kinda complicated, yeah, but aren't we all. My pronouns are He/Him (main) Xe/Xir (trialing neos) They/Them (for my more 'who cares about gender' mood). I haven an extensive list here 👉: Pronoun card.

Other random info about me :) I'm an aspiring author (my ao3 here 👈) and self-taught artist.

I have an TMNT AU I'm currently writing/designing. Find that here 👈

I'm also a Punk (in clothing and in ideologies and less so in music. yk just deal with it, it's the spirit that counts)

I'm also a monster fucker -I mean what? Who said that?

My beliefs are centered in Nordic Witchcraft, so no hate or I will bring down the might of Thor on your head. You've been warned. But if you are gonna play nice you can find me here 👈.

I'm quite odd so if that bothers you then don't stick around. I'm never in the mood to fight so don't even try it. Oh also, I'm an undiagnosed neurodivergent (probably autistic) and diagnosed with depression and anxiety. Although I'm pretty good now-a-days.

This blog is mainly for my shit posting, doom scrolling, fandom shenanigans, hyper fixations and it's my main. Everything else I do branches off into its own blog. Kinda like blog children. Bloglins you could even call them. (I'm coining that term. Mine now) My current hyper fixations are TMNT and HTTYD.

I LOVE GETTING ASKS. I have a few ask games I'm happy to do so I'll link them 👈. I usually answer within a day or two so please send them in. They are so much fun and I love interacting with communites . My DM's are also open if you just wanna chat in general or have any questions you want to ask not publically (for reasons).

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If you are an alter/non human follow me here

As I'm sure most of you can relate to this I really dont see why I need to say it but it's the internet so you can never be too careful. But I'm really attached to a lot of fictional characters from many franchises and if I ever post about them please be nice. Even if you dont like them or the potential discourse around them. Just be decent ok? They can be found here 👈

Now that I've told you about me there are some ground rules to go over for my corner of the internet.

No harassment, bullying, discourse or anything of that nature belongs here. This is a Peaceful blog alright? I dont want none of that shit 🫵

No terfs, no homophobes, no transphobes, no zoophiles, no pedofiles (you are not MAPS ok, fuck off), no incest shippers, no anti-lgbt of any kind, no bigots, no conservative Christians, no religion haters (there is a balance), or anti-alter humanity of any kind. I think you get the idea but if I get even a hint that any of you people are lurking you will get tossed out like the trash you are. IMMIDEITLEY 🖕

No dark jokes or snides at mental health, it's tough shit and people dont need any more negativity to deal with. I will fucking report you if you ever do anything of the sort on my blog.

And finally no drama or discourse. seriously no one has the time or energy for that esspecially me. Just dont ok? 👎

I have a few personal tags and may add more when need arises but if your looking for something in particular you may find them with these tags

#wayward rants

# wayward rambles

#wayward asks

#wayward rambles

# helpful reblogs

# waywards wallflower AU

#waywards art

!!!SHOUT OUT TO MY MOOTS!!!

@neonleons-posts @small-spiderpunkboy @fireflysquidsoup @ghosts-in-the-outfield @promiscuousbarnes @waywardsarah @corrupt-touch @dissapointedcreeper @regulusblackisamermaid

I have another Master Post type post so anything that isn't here will be there. It's kinda like a less detailed pt 2 to this post. You can find that here 👈. And if for some reason you want to see the old Master Post, I am gonna keep it up so you can find that here 👈

That's all for now folks hope you have fun whilst visiting my blog.

#welcome #welcome to my corner of the internet #welcome to my blog #punk #artists #writer #a03 #a03 writer #ao3 #tmnt #httyd #master post #pinned post #tmnt au #dni #lgbt #trans #safespace #alterhumanity

[aceghosts]

Oh, The Reckoning Begins Chapter 5

Series Summary: Five years ago, Junior Deputy Blue Murphy disappeared with Joseph Seed at the final standoff, only to be found a year later in Dutch's bunker. Now, five years later from that final standoff, Blue Murphy and Hope County have moved on with their lives. However, new sinister forces threaten Blue's life, and they will have to rely on the man who started this all to survive: Joseph Seed.

Ch. 1| Ch. 2 | Ch. 3 | Ch. 4 | Ch. 5 | Ch. 6

Rating: Mature

Warnings: I need to give a serious warning for trauma and guilt in this chapter. This also heavily and explicitly references events from FC5, including mentions of murder and torture. On the safe side, I'm also going to give a warning for manipulation and toxic relationships. This should cover everything, but please let me know if I should tag for anything else.

Words: 5,351 words.

Ships: Mentions of previous Junior Deputy/Joseph Seed, but this is a Junior Deputy/Joseph Seed Fic.

Author's Note: IT'S FINALLY HERE!!!!!! Blue and Joseph are finally interacting with each other, and Blue gets to let loose on him! I'm excited for this chapter, and I really hope everyone enjoys it! A huge thank you to @sstewyhosseini for taking a look over this chapter! I really appreciate your comments/reactions, and I can't thank you enough. (Also, if you're not following Mika, you should! Seriously, she is awesome!) Lastly, I don't make listening recommendations for chapters, but if you're interested, PVRIS' Thank You (Feat. Raye) is what I've had in the background on repeat while writing this chapter.

AO3

               Sharky clears his throat, disco music playing over the car stereo as Blue tears their gaze away from the window. Sitting in the front passenger seat, Blue finds Sharky focused on the road as he drives his Jeep towards the prison. When they called Special Agent Hawthorne, Blue could only think of one person they wanted beside them when they faced Joseph: Sharky Boshaw. Naturally, that also meant that Hurk joined them for the ride. Not that Blue minded. “You sure you, uh, don’t wanna turn around, Blue Jay? You don’t have to talk to Daddy Seed.”

              Blue smiles warmly at him, touched by Sharky’s concern. “I have to do this, Sharky. I promised Special Agent Hawthorne that I would talk to Joseph, and I intend to keep my promise.” They know Sharky is worried for a good reason. Sharky, along with a few others, saw firsthand how much being in the Bunker messed with Blue. He spent a lot of nights at Blue’s place, making sure they were going to be alright. On the first anniversary of their freedom, Sharky spent the whole week with Blue, distracting them from the memories of the Bunker. Like Boomer, Grace, and so many others, Blue owed Sharky a debt they could never repay.

              Sensing that the conversation needed a change, Hurk leans forward from the backseat, sagely glancing between Sharky and Blue. “We’re gonna be fine, y’all. This prison ain’t nuthin’; you should’ve seen some of the other prisons I’ve been in. Just follow my lead!” Blue frowns, raising an eyebrow. Well, that was concerning.

              Sharky shakes his head. “Just cuz you traveled all over the world doesn’t mean you know what’s gonna happen, cuz! What if we get shanked by some dude who made a knife out of a plastic spork?!”

              “You’ve been watchin too many of them scared straight reality TV prison shows, Sharky! If you gotta worry about anythin’, its prison riots…” As Hurk rambles on the dangers of prison, Blue tunes him and Sharky out, thinking of Joseph. What would Joseph’s reaction be to seeing Blue? He obviously wanted to see them, but Blue wondered why he wanted to see them. Why couldn’t Joseph just move along with his life the same way Blue was? Why did he want to drag them back to the past? “What do you think, Broba Fett?”

              Blue blinks, focusing back on the conversation. “Sorry, Hurk. What was that?”

              Hurk and Sharky share worried glances between each other before Hurk repeats his question. “Prison Riot or Shanking?”

              “Prison Riot, obviously. I mean, haven’t you watched movies or TV? Everything goes to shit! It makes me think of those Purge movies you forced me to watch.” They really hope Joseph isn’t about to start a prison riot while they’re talking with him.

              “Told ya!” Hurk punches Sharky’s shoulder playfully, continuing his ramble about prison riots. Sharky looks over at them with concern again. Blue knows they shouldn’t do this, but they can’t live with the blood on their hands. There’s too much blood on their hands already. They just had to help the FBI, and then, Joseph would be out of their life for good.

--

              An hour later, the trio arrives at the prison, making their way through security. As they walk through the metal detectors in the visitor center, a news report plays over the radio at the guard station, “The American Government is anticipating a drought in several states, adding to an already difficult crop season.” Besides the sound of the radio, everything is quiet and calm. Too calm for Blue’s liking.

              BEEP! The metal detector goes off, and Blue grins sheepishly at the Corrections Officer. They fish their lucky pocket knife out of their olive-green cargo pants, handing it to him. “Please keep that safe. It’s important to me.”

              “We’ll take care of it. You can retrieve it on the way out.” Blue nods, feeling naked without their lucky pocket knife. That knife has saved their life more times than they can count; they feel defenseless without it. Eventually, they make their way through security with Sharky and Hurk, thankfully getting into no major trouble.

              “Ranger Murphy.” Blue turns to find Special Agent Hawthorne approaching them. He holds out his hand for Blue to shake. “I can’t thank you enough for taking time to speak to Joseph Seed. You’re doing a great service for your country.”

              “No problem,” Blue takes his hand, shaking it, “You can just call me Blue by the way. My friends, Sharky and Hurk came with me.” They release his hand, motioning to Sharky and Hurk standing behind them. Blue feels odd to be in a prison, especially when it wasn’t a Resistance stronghold, housing their boss and allies.

              Special Agent Hawthorne turns to Sharky and Hurk, shaking hands with them both. “I am Special Agent Dylan Hawthorne. Thank you for accompanying Blue.”

              “Charlemagne Victor Boshaw IV,” Sharky introduces himself, puffing out his chest. If he notices Sharky’s attempt at intimidation, Special Agent Hawthorne doesn’t acknowledge it.  

              “You can call him, Sharky,” Blue adds.

              Hurk looks around the prison, taking in the sights around him. “Told you this would be a nicer prison, cuz. Most of the prisons I’ve been in smell like ass.”

              Special Agent Hawthorne raises an eyebrow, deeply concerned by Hurk’s statement. “You’ve been in prison before?”

              He nods. “Yeah, man, I’ve been in some real bad prisons,” Hurk shudders, haunted by what he saw, “some of the worst places I’ve ever been, and that includes bein’ at home when Daddy and Mom were gettin’ divorced.”

              Special Agent Hawthorne blinks, speechless at Hurk’s revelation. “We should prepare you to talk to Joseph Seed.” He motions for the trio to follow him, turning on his heel.

              The walk to see Joseph is a quiet, solemn affair. Blue shoves their hands in the pockets of their Bomber Jacket, the same one they were infamous for wearing while fighting Eden’s Gate. It was too late to turn around, right? Definitely. Or maybe, they could-. Sharky bumps their shoulder playfully, and Blue smiles at him warmly. He smiles back, a feeling of confidence rushing through Blue. They could do this; they could face Joseph.

              Special Agent Hawthorne opens the door, leading the three into another room. The other FBI Agent, already in the room, stands up from his metal folding chair, placing his Styrofoam coffee cup on the metal table. He approaches the group, holding out his hand for Blue to shake. “Special Agent Jack Mitchell.”

              “Jay Murphy, but you can just call me, Blue.” They take his hand, shaking it. Special Agent Mitchell is older than Hawthorne, but he radiates an easygoing confidence, partially setting Blue at ease. He’s certainly more laidback than Special Agent Hawthorne, who seems to be on alert 24/7.

              As he releases Blue’s hand, Special Agent Hawthorne introduces Sharky and Hurk. “These are Blue’s friends, Sharky and Hurk, who are here with them for moral support.”

              “You ready to talk to him,” Special Agent Mitchell asks, jerking his thumb back towards Joseph, “That guy is a real loose bag of screws.”

              Blue shifts uncomfortably at Special Agent Mitchell’s assessment of Joseph. It always felt wrong to call Joseph crazy, almost as if it was a way to let the system off the hook for failing him. Meanwhile, Sharky and Hurk laugh in agreement as Special Agent Hawthorne glares at his fellow agent. “Mitchell, we need to be professional. We don’t want to influence their views one way or the other.”

              He rolls his eyes. “Relax Hawthorne. They’ve already dealt with Seed.”

              “Yeah,” Sharky confirms, “We know how crazy Daddy Seed and his siblings were.”

              Special Agent Mitchell laughs as Special Agent Hawthorne pinches the bridge of his nose with a sigh. “We should start briefing Blue on the proper protocol while talking with Mr. Seed.”

              They nod. “Right. What do I need to know?”

              “You’ll be talking to Mr. Seed alone.” The words are barely out of Special Agent Hawthorne’s mouth before Sharky and Hurk cut in.

              “No way!”

              “Nuh-uh!”

              Blue knows Sharky and Hurk are just looking out for them, but they feel frustrated, knowing that they have to do this alone. “I have to go in there alone. I’m going to be fine; please trust me.”

              “We do trust you-,” Sharky starts.

              “But we don’t trust him,” Hurk finishes.

              They smile comfortingly at Sharky and Hurk. “I know you don’t, but you can trust me. After all, they’re going to have safeguards to protect me, right?” Blue looks over at Special Agent Hawthorne, who nods.

              “The Correction Officers already searched Mr. Seed before taking him into the private visitation room. He should not have anything on his person to hurt you with. Although, we do recommend not touching him.”

              A shudder runs over Blue. “Definitely not touching him.”   

              “We are setting a time limit of 15 minutes, but if you have a good rapport with him, we may have you continue to talk to Mr. Seed past the 15 minute limit. You can also leave before those 15 minutes end if it gets too traumatic.” Special Agent Hawthorne explains.

              “Feel free to sit there silently, Blue. You don’t have to actually speak to him,” Special Agent Mitchell chimes in helpfully, “After your time is up, you and your friends are free to leave.”

              Special Agent Hawthorne looks at them seriously. “If Mr. Seed threatens you in any way, Mitchell and I will be there to protect you. We will be watching through the one-way window,” He points towards the large window, next to the door, “We will also be listening to your conversation. Mr. Seed will be cuffed to the table, which means he shouldn’t be able to touch you.”

              Blue doesn’t think Joseph will hurt them, or at least, he won’t hurt them intentionally. Love and Punishment always went hand in hand for Joseph. “Okay,” they take a deep breath, “I’m ready to go in.”

              “WAIT!” Sharky grabs their wrist tightly as Blue heads towards the solid metal door. “Please, don’t do this, Blue Jay. You don’t owe him anything.”

              Blue pulls their wrist out of Sharky’s hand. “Yeah, I do have to face him, Sharky. I have to face him, put an end to this.” Somehow, they feel a sense of finality, the sense that Blue is at a crossroads, and they won’t be able to undo their choice. Hell, it kinda felt like the final battle, the showdown at the small Church where all this started.

--

              Blue opens the door, shivering as they step into the cold, sterile room. The door closes behind them with a solid thunk, and Joseph’s head snaps up, cold blue eyes settling on Blue. Their chest tightens, Blue struggling to breathe. Long dormant emotions bubble up to the surface. Panic. Wrath. Guilt. Love. Their feelings towards Joseph were a complicated web, with too many strings that could not be untangled. A part of Blue longs to turn toward the door, bang, and scream to be let out. But they know what they’re here for. Eli. Virgil. Marshal Burke. John. Jacob. Faith. Abigail. Arthur. Phil. Repeating the names of the dead in their head over like a mantra, Blue heads towards the metallic chair, their eyes never leaving Joseph.

              Prison had not been kind to Joseph Seed; Blue doubts it was kind to anyone. They feel fucking miserable in this room with its sickly pale, yellow walls, thick concrete floor, and ice-cold table. Joseph’s hair is pulled back in his usual bun, sporting more gray hairs than the last time they saw him. His beard also conveys more gray hairs, slightly shorter than the last time. Dark circles under his eyes give him the appearance of two black eyes, and there are more lines on his face, looking wearier than ever. Pulling out the chair, Blue takes a seat, shoving their hands in their jacket pockets. Joseph watches them expectantly as if he thinks Blue will talk first. No fucking way.

              After what seems like an eternity, Joseph speaks, “Blue Jay-.”

              “DON’T CALL ME THAT!” Blue snaps harshly, lips pulled back in a snarl. “You don’t get to call me that. Not after the goddamn shit you put me through.”

              A brief flash of hurt appears on his face, but Joseph quickly composes himself. “I see, Blue,” He pauses, waiting to see if Blue will even allow him to call them that, “I did not think you would come. For so long, you had no interest in seeing me. Even now, in front of me, I scarcely believe you are real.” Joseph lets out a disbelieving laugh, reaching for Blue. His hands are stopped by the cuffs, frowning at the hindrance.

              God, what a miserable fucking place. They know Joseph wants them to talk about why they didn’t visit them, and plant doubts in their head about those just trying to help them. Blue won’t let themself be manipulated by Joseph. Instead, they focus on a safer topic. “How’s prison?”

              Joseph looks disappointed but seizes the chance to speak anyway. He always did love the sound of his voice. “Prison is…,” Joseph trails off momentarily, searching for the right words, “difficult. Prison is not a place that uplifts sinners and helps them achieve redemption. It is a place meant to break them, to set them in their wicked ways. I am able to help some of the lost children within these walls, but many will not listen. I continue to write, but it is difficult to get writing supplies.” He reaches for them again, the handcuffs stopping him once more. Blue flinches, out of instinct more than fear. He looks disappointed by their reaction as if Blue should know better. “I have no intention of hurting you. I miss you, Blue. I truly do. It hurt that you never came to see me. It hurts even more to know that you only came to see me out of obligation.”

              “And what obligation would that be Joseph?” They feel wrath starting to simmer under their skin, the scar on their chest itching faintly.

              His blue eyes stare into Blue, looking right into their soul. Joseph had a gift for manipulating people, always seeing past the façade. Their muscles tense, screaming for Blue to run, to get the hell away. Instead, they stare back, refusing to let Joseph win. “Tell me about them.”

              They raise an eyebrow. “About whom?”

              “The victims. I know you, Blue. Special Agent Hawthorne would not have been able to get you to come here without putting a face to the suffering.”

              Wrath swells within, clawing to break free. Swallowing their wrath, Blue glares at him. “At least, I’m trying to help people. You’re just rotting in a jail cell.” They sound bitter as they lash out at Joseph. “Besides, what would you know about why I wanna help people?”

              He smiles softly, and Blue realizes they might have fucked up. It’s too late to take back those words, no matter how much they want to. “Oh, Blue. I knew it from the moment I met you, from the moment you arrested me in my Church. I knew you could not see the suffering of others and turn a blind eye. You saw the suffering of Hope County, and you knew you had to help in your own misguided way. You and I are alike in that regard; we always felt the pain of others too deeply.” Joseph pauses, his face turning pensive. “Yet, we have different ways of helping. I tried to show Hope County the light, the love of the Father’s embrace. You played their hero, Hope County’s Knight in Shining Armor. You wanted to save them, the same way you wish someone would have saved you and your mother,” He smiles at them tenderly again, “I know you are only trying to help. Please Blue, tell me about them. Let me shoulder part of that burden.”

              What kind of monster could look away after seeing all the shit that Eden’s Gate put Hope County through? What did Joseph expect from them? For Blue to run? It was only after being in the Bunker with him that they realized what Joseph wanted them to do. He wanted Blue to play their part, to bring the reckoning he saw come to life. Of course, he probably didn’t see the deaths of his siblings in that plan. Fuck that. If Joseph wanted to know why Blue was here, Blue would tell him. They would tell him all the goddamn gory details. “You wanna know about them, Joseph? Fine, we can do that.”

              “I do want to know about them, Blue. As I said, you do not have to bear this pain alone.”

              Blue lets out a bitter laugh. “Famous last words, Joseph. Fine, let’s talk about Abigail Carter. She was an investigative journalist, trying to expose your followers. Instead, she ends up at the bottom of a fucking cave. And you wanna know the best part, Joseph?” He raises an eyebrow, sensing where they might be going. “She looked like fucking Faith,” they continue, their words sharp and biting, “Guess your followers learned a fucking thing or two. Ain’t the first time that you left a Faith at the bottom of a cave?”

              “Blue.” They hear the edge to his tone, the disapproving Father tone. Too bad for Joseph he can’t do anything about it.

              They charge ahead. “What? Your followers picking up the wrong message? Too bad, Joseph. You should’ve stopped that a long time ago. You know, I still feel guilt for killing Faith. Do you feel guilty about leading her like a lamb to the slaughter?”

              Joseph regards them coldly, his eyes narrowed. “I see you’ve given into Wrath again. Besides, you should not talk about things that you know nothing of. I loved Faith; She was the most perfect of all my Faiths. I did not kill her. Perhaps, you should take a look at the blood on your own hands.”

              “I’m perfectly fucking aware of what I’m guilty of, Joseph. I just don’t think that you understand your role in her death either.” They swallow, getting back on track. “The next person your followers killed is a kid named Phil Santiago. He was the kind of guy who always did right by the people in his life. Couldn’t stop himself from helping others. Well, he just had to pick up a pair of hitchhikers, who just happen to be your followers, and…”

              They trail off, remembering the vibrant way Phil smiled in his photos, so full of life and happiness. Yet, he was the one missing, probably six feet beneath the ground. “Phil sounds like a good man. The world is a darker place for his loss,” Joseph tilts his head, still watching them carefully, “Phil and Abigail are not the only reason you are here.”

              Blue nods. “The final one is a farmer named Arthur Wilson. He was killed by some of your followers in a cornfield. Can’t imagine why they would want to hurt some farmer.”

              His eyes narrow, speaking softly. “Does Arthur Wilson remind you of your Grandfather, Blue? I remember you telling me in the Bunker that your Grandfather was a rancher.”

              Closing their eyes, Blue thinks of their Grandpa. He died several years before Blue moved to Hope County, but he had been their hero, the kind of person Blue aspired to be. Kind, determined, and honest, Grandpa had shown them that the world wasn’t a cruel place. He showed Blue that despite the terrible shit you go through, you can always choose to be a better person, to be a kinder person. They didn’t know Arthur Wilson, but something about him reminded Blue of their Grandpa. Blue nods, admitting the truth. “Yeah. Yeah, he does.”

              Joseph seizes on this, finally finding a real crack in their armor. “Do you think your Grandfather is proud of you, Blue? Do you think he would be proud of you being here with me?”

              Glaring at Joseph, Blue responds, “I know Grandpa would be proud of me trying to help these people. You have the chance to help them too, Joseph. I know you care for your people. This new guy is going to get them hurt. By helping the FBI, you can avoid your followers getting hurt.”

              “And for what? For my children to be arrested?”

              “I don’t know. I’d rather have the people I love alive rather than dead.”

              The room quiets, the two staring at each other silently. After a few moments, Joseph’s face softens, letting out a sigh. Blue feels themself relax, sliding their hands out of their jacket pockets. “I did not mean for our reunion to go this way. I only wanted to understand why you are here.”

              “It’s fine.” It isn’t. It will never be fine again.

              “I hope that when I get out of prison, you and I will be able to see each other again.” Blue snorts in derision; Hurk Drubman Sr. had a better chance of getting elected than Joseph did getting out of prison. “I am telling you the truth, Blue. We are family. The Voice has told me that you and I will walk through the Gates of Eden together. You know this to be true.”

              Blue snaps, their wrath fully kicking in. “WE ARE NOT A FAMILY!” They holler, standing up and slamming their hands down on the metal table. Blue’s heart beats loudly in their ears, the world narrowing around them. It scares Blue how good it feels to be absolutely fucking wrathful again. Meanwhile, Joseph shrinks back in his chair, hands still chained to the table. His blue eyes are wide, absolutely fucking terrified. Blue only remembers Joseph being that scared of them once.

--

              Joseph is on the ground before them, trembling hands raised in self-defense. Around the pair, the bliss storm swirls, nausea rising in Blue’s stomach. Blue holds their shotgun up, the butt of it pointed towards Joseph. Wrath overwhelms Blue as they stare down at Joseph, panting heavily. They want to bring down the butt of the shotgun on his face, bashing it in till Joseph’s face is nothing more than a bloody pulp. They want to tear him from limb to limb, bathing in his blood. It’s what he deserves after all the hell that he put Hope County through, for all the hell he put Blue through. 

              Sniveling, Joseph cries, “Please Blue! Don’t do this!” His blue eyes are wide with fear, tears streaming down his cheeks. His yellow aviators are broken, the right lens missing, and the left lens cracked. Both his eyes are already starting to turn black and blue along with other bruises forming on his face. Joseph looks frightened of Blue, absolutely fucking terrified. Somewhere, deep inside Blue, a tiny voice tells them they don’t have to kill him, that this isn’t Blue. For a second, they start to lower the shotgun, listening to the tiny voice. But the Wrath wins. It quiets the tiny voice, coursing through Blue’s veins. They raise the shotgun again, preparing to slam it down in his face.

              They never do.

--

              Joseph looks behind Blue, obviously towards the windows. Blue hopes Special Agents Hawthorne and Mitchell don’t intervene. Now that they are pissed off, Blue is itching to give Joseph a goddamn piece of their mind. Joseph’s gaze returns to them, swallowing nervously. “You and I are a family, Blue. Our time in the Bunker has shown us-.”

           Blue cuts him off, fury blazing in their eyes. “FAMILY?! After everything you did to me, you still want to insist we’re family?! After what you did to my friends? After murdering people I cared about? After torturing people I loved? After torturing me? After brainwashing me? After making me think that you loved me,” Tears burn at the corner of their eyes, running down Blue’s cheeks as they draw a shaky breath, “After you trapped me in that Bunker for a year? After letting me fall in love with you? What kind of fucked up family does that to each other? Why would you do that to me, Joseph? I thought…I thought…” Blue can’t bring themself to say those words, wiping at their eyes with the cuff of their jacket sleeve.

              His mouth hangs slightly open, the full weight of Blue’s words bearing down on him. “Blue, I wanted to save you like everyone else. I wanted to show you the path, the Father’s loving embrace. My feelings for you were never an act. I have always loved you; I still do. Everything I did, I did because I cared.”

              They laugh bitterly, shaking their head. “No, you don’t get to say that. What you did to me didn’t fucking save me, Joseph; it fucked me up. I can’t sleep without having nightmares. Eli, Vigil, and Marshal Burke haunt me in my nightmares. Jacob, John, and Faith haunt me in my nightmares. You haunt me in my nightmares. I’m paranoid, always looking over my shoulder like I’m in a fucking warzone. I’m terrified that your followers might come back for me and finish the job. I struggle to trust people because I’m afraid that they’re going to be like you. I’m scared that Jacob’s programming will kick back in one day, and I’ll just go berserk and kill all the people I love,” Blue chokes back a sob, wiping at their eyes again, “You know, the worst part isn’t what you did to me, but it’s what you did to all the people I cared about. My friends treat me like I’m fragile, like they’re scared I’m gonna break. Some days, I wonder if they expect me to finally lose it and run back to you. My mom wonders what the hell happened to her baby, and it kills her that she can’t make this all better.” They think of their mom, remembering how she reacted to the sight of Blue’s scars.

--

              “Blue Jay, I wanted to check-.” Their mom opens the door to their room, stopping before Blue can pull on an oversized T-shirt over their tank top. After getting out of the Bunker a few weeks ago, Blue moved back with their mom and stepdad in Colorado. It was just temporary until Blue could function again. Until Blue could pretend that Joseph didn’t haunt their every waking second. 

              “Sorry mom, I was just changing shirts…” They trail off, as their mom’s eyes widen, hands coming up to cover her mouth. The WRATH scar is a nasty sight, red, angry letters scrawled deep and messily into their skin. Their mom steps forward with tears in her eyes. She never looks away from the WRATH scar, guilt bright in her warm, blue eyes. “Mom, it isn’t….”

           She uncovers her mouth. “Did he do that to you? That…That…” Their mom can’t say Joseph’s name. She just refers to him as that man, the words sounding like a curse. 

              Blue shakes their head. “No, mom. He didn’t do that to me; His brother is the one who did it.” Blue and their mom stand in silence as Blue watches tears roll down their mom’s cheeks. They fall into an old habit, shrugging off the pain and hurt like it’s nothing. “I’m okay, mom,” They lie, grabbing the t-shirt and pulling it on, “Go downstairs. I’ll join you in a few.”   

              Their mom frowns, her eyes finally meeting Blue’s. “Blue Jay, you don’t have to pretend-.”

              “I’m okay, mom. Really!” They plaster a smile on their face. Blue can do this, pretend that they’re still normal and not fucked up. Their mom’s shoulders drop as she realizes they won’t change their mind. She nods, leaving Blue alone in the silence of their room. Blue takes a deep breath, only realizing now that they’re shaking. Grabbing their hoodie, Blue pulls it on, heading out of their room. They walk down the familiar brown carpeted hall of the house that used to belong to their Grandpa but now belonged to their mom. As Blue reaches the top of the staircase, they hear the soft sounds of sobbing. Kneeling by the top of the staircase, out of sight, Blue looks down to find their mom on the couch with their stepdad. 

              “Shh..Shh..It’s alright, honey,” Blue’s stepdad drawls, rubbing their mom’s back as she sobs into his chest. 

              “You didn’t-You didn’t see it," She cries, an echoing sound of grief, “He carved up my Blue Jay, and now, they’re trying to pretend as if nothing happened. Why did he do it to my Blue Jay?” Another keening wail rings out, and Blue stands up. They hear their mom continue to cry. “Why did he do that to my Blue Jay? Why?”

              Wrath burns within them, and Blue turns, itching to give Joseph a piece of their mind. Their hands reach out, aiming to grab him by the shoulders and shake Joseph. “YOU-,” Blue snarls quietly, turning to berate Joseph. All they find is an empty hallway, no Joseph to be seen. It’s not the first time they’ve turned to say something to Joseph after emerging from the Bunker. They’re just used to seeing him there, always in the corner of their eye. He was a constant in their life, and now, he was gone.

              Guilt weighs heavily on Blue’s shoulders, a tired, empty feeling washing over them. They want to run down to their mom and tell her that this wasn’t her fault, that this wasn’t anyone’s fault. Instead, they walk back to their room, closing the door silently behind them. Blue gets into their bed, burying themself beneath the blankets. Looking at their nightstand, Blue catches sight of a framed photo, one of their Grandpa. It was the first time they managed to drag him hiking, their Grandpa smiling with Blue as the pair enjoyed the nature around them. Grabbing the photo, Blue pulls it close against their chest, muffling their cries into their pillow. “I wish you here, Grandpa,” they cry quietly into their pillow, “You would know what to do; You would know how to make this right.”

--

               Wiping their eyes, Blue stares at Joseph, determined to put him behind them once and for all. “I should hate you for all you’ve done to me, Joseph, but I can’t. You will always have a part of my heart. But I’m not going to take all the shit you throw at me under the guise of love and caring,” giving him a small, relieved smile, Blue continues, “I hope you have a good life, Joseph, just know that I want no part of it.”

              The door opens behind the pair, and Blue looks over their shoulder to see Special Agent Hawthorne in the doorway. He looks concerned for Blue as he clears his throat. “The fifteen minutes are up. If you would like, you can leave now, Blue.”

              They don’t look at Joseph as they turn away from the table. Heading towards the door, Blue takes a deep breath. Behind them, Joseph screams. “BLUE! DON’T WALK AWAY FROM ME!” They hear him sob, calling their name. “PLEASE COME BACK, BLUE! DON’T GO!”

              Special Agent Hawthorne allows them to step through the door, closing it afterward. The closed door muffles the sounds of Joseph’s desperate screaming. Glaring at Special Agent Hawthorne, Blue states firmly, “Don’t call me if you need him to talk.”

              “Hey, Blue Jay, are you-?” Sharky doesn’t finish as Blue crashes into him for a hug. They wrap their arms tightly around him, burying their face in Sharky’s sweatshirt. He smells like gasoline and smoke, familiar and comforting which is what they need. He instinctively wraps his arm around Blue, rubbing their back. Hurk joins the hug, sandwiching Blue between the two men. “It’s gonna be okay, Blue Jay.”

              “You’re gonna do all right, Amigo,” Hurk echoes.

              “I know,” Blue replies, a sudden weariness, and emptiness taking over them, “I just wanna get out of here.”  

#Far Cry 5 #FC5 #Joseph Seed #Joseph Seed x Deputy #fc5 OC #Joseph Seed x Junior Deputy #fc5 fanfiction #fc5 fanfic #far cry 5 fanfiction #far cry 5 fanfic #The Deputy #Blue Murphy #fic: oh the reckoning begins #the blue fic tag #kate writes #OTP: I had all and then most of you some and now none of you #I know y'all have been looking forward to this one! #And it is finally here! #I'm excited for this one; I hope everyone really enjoys it #Also Mika again Thank you for looking this over #truly appreciate the second pair of eyes #Enjoy everyone!

[skitskatdacat63]

okay, i don't know why, but i have ALWAYS been like you described. i have so many movies, TV shows, books, podcasts, songs, etc that i want to experience but do i? nope, just put on another F1 race, please. i don't know if it's fear of the unknown (hello, flood of unexpected emotions!) or not wanting to challenge myself or also wanting to watch F1 and F1 just wins out, but here we are. i suspect it's part of my OCD? or some other ND thing that hasn't been diagnosed in me yet??

in fact prolly the only reason i watch F1 is bc i watch it with my sister. it is a lot easier to do new stuff with someone else...which deludes me into believing that if i just got a partner, we could open the floodgates and watch everything i haven't seen together, but lord knows it don't work that way 😑 in any case, i don't know what's wrong with us, but you're not alone!

I'm glad I'm not the only one!! 💕💕

(Reply ramble under the cut cause I wrote more than I expected)

I think I just struggle to start anything new or to finish anything. I totally agree with what you said about it being the fear of unexpected emotions/the unknown! Like for race seasons for example, I just spent a significant amount of time immersed in 2005 which is a specific set of information(you know: rules, strategy, drivers, etc.), so to start a new season would be a completely different set of info. As I said in my earlier tags, some part of me likes the anticipation more and also I always get way too hyper about things and that energy is overwhelming 😓 And I also feel like I have a fear about how much time I'm going to spend(which is stupid because I'll spend like way too much time aimlessly scrolling for the same amnt of time it'd take to watch a race.) Like the idea of specifically putting aside two hours to do only one thing is stressful to me, which is why I often used to like watching races when I literally couldn't do anything else(waiting for a class.) But now I'm stuck back in the cycle of not wanting to start something new, even if 2009 isnt exactly new because I've watched a lot of racing at this point, but still new enough to me that it's hard to convince my brain to start it. Like once I get into the groove of things, I can float through and enjoy myself, it's just that beginning barrier that's hard to get through.

I also definitely agree with having to watch it with someone else. I either have to binge watch things super quickly or watch them with other people, if not, I'll just end up never starting it or abandoning it. I think it's because it's really nice to be able to discuss your thoughts and feelings abt it with another person and not just be stuck with a million thoughts bouncing around your head(which is why I tend to make posts and then rant in the tags LOL)

I think thats why ive been able to get into F1 to such an extent and why it's been so fun for me. It's a live experience(with a strict time constraint, i.e. you can only watch it right here, right now) where there's a bunch of people watching and interacting. I love tumblr during a race weekend so much, I don't think I'd be obsessed with it as much if not for the ability to see everyone's reactions and interact back with them. I think that's why I struggle to start old seasons, because it's literally just me obsessing alone in my room and I can't talk about it to the extent that I can with the current season. Watching F1 as it goes along in a current season is just a perfect experience I guess, because the schedule pushes me along and I don't really have to rely on myself to keep going.

But yeah who knows!! Brain just being brain as always I guess, but it is annoying that it prevents us from doing things we want to do! But I will say, still, its so stupid that I procrastinate over watching 10 minute long YouTube vids LMAO, like pls I get the hesitation with a 2 hour race, 2 hour movie or 100k fic but, 10 minutes, seriously brain???

#theres some actual term ive heard before abt this kind of behavior #but i cant recall it rn and you know what google is like when youre trying to look up symptoms 😭 #but yeah its probably smth mentally related which ive just never looked into further #i just am prone to anxiety about literally everything i think :) #sorry for such a long response!! #but its rly nice to know that someone else out there deals with this <3 #i think im just my greatest enemy LOL im always just fighting with my brain #some part of my brain just likes playing devils advocate and being contrary to what i want to do ig? #but yeah what you said about the flood of emotions! so true!! #like for some reason ig its just hard to open myself up to such sudden excitement/joy if that makes sense? #tysm for the ask :D it makes me feel a lot better abt that :D #i always fear that i complain too much abt things in my own control #like: 'i want to watch 2009 but i cant' 'but isnt the ability to watch 2009 under your control' 'yeah BUT YOU KNOW' #when i say i want to do something i either do it immediately or its gonna take a bit for me to get to it #but rest assured it will probably happen eventually #i like how i wrote a super long response and still somehow managed to write a paragraph of tags #truly my trademark at this point #catie.asks. #catie.rambling.txt

[ofviolentdeath]

30 Days of Drabbles::Day Ten

Character(s)::Belladonna Word Count::1,034 Trigger Warnings::Murder, Torture, Blood, Gore @babyitsmagic tagging you in all of the things

                                                            ~*~

"You know, I thought we had covered what would happen if you tried to back out of our deal before you, you know, signed on the proverbial dotted line. I mean, yeah, I get that you were pretty desperate at the time and I probably could have gotten you to sign over the heart of your firstborn child and blah, blah, blah, but that's not really the point, is it? We had a deal. I kept my end of the bargain and I was even nice enough to have you pretty low on my list. Hell, I might not have come to collect until you were a little old man," she rambled, tossing the blade between her hands and barely sparing the man a glance. She seemed bored and maybe a little annoyed, but she hadn't done anything to actually hurt him. Not yet anyway.

"But then you had to go and look for a loophole or some way out of it. I'm, well, I'm a little offended, Frank."

The knife finally stilled in her hands and she turned her focus on the man, an unpleasant smile twisting her lips. If he hadn't been afraid before, that had very quickly changed at her expression.

Belladonna didn't look dangerous. She was small in build, slight with a generally pleasant, almost cheerful, demeanor. It made it easier to lure in targets, she supposed, always the Delaney that no one took seriously upon first meetings. They always thought her reputation was exaggerated. She was just a little girl, too nice, too friendly. It was part of how she was always able to get so much out of a deal. No one ever expected her to come and collect.

It also meant she frequently dealt with men especially that who thought they could find a way out of her deals. It never ended well for them and she always celebrated later with waffles and milkshakes. She wondered if Jay was busy tonight, she could use the company and he was almost always down to meet up at some greasy spoon at odd hours.

"Please, please, I'm sorry," the man sputtered as he tried to keep a healthy distance between himself and Bells.

Her eyes rolled and she moved fast, throwing the knife into his knee hard enough to embed the blade into bone. "Ooh, dead center. That's about, what, fifty points? I mean, I don't think I could hit that spot quite that well again if I tried," she laughed, clearly enjoying herself as she closed the distance and wrapped her hand around the hilt. "Now, I'd sit still if I were you because this is going to hurt like a bitch," she warned before twisting the blade and swiping his good leg out from under him. The momentum tore the blade upwards and if it hadn't been spelled, it would have broken. Instead, it split the bone with a sickening crunch and his vision swam with black spots.

Bells tapped his cheek, trying to get him to focus on her, her smile never wavering. "No, no, come on now, stay awake. It's so much better if you don't pass out. Well, better for me. I like having an audience and we're the only two people here, Franky my boy."

He whimpered, trying to get away from her touch but everything pitched sideways when he moved. He might have even passed out for a few seconds, but when he came to, she was shoving some contraption in his mouth, forcing it open.

Frank would have given anything for blissful unconsciousness.

She was humming to herself as she settled the clamp around his tongue and pulled it forward, glad he had come to for this. "Oh, there you are! This is going to be a real treat. I mean, I wasn't even planning on taking your tongue but, you know, the tongue of a cheat has a lot of pretty solid uses," she explained as she grabbed his hand and wrapped it around the clamp. "Here, hold this for a second. I just need to find my, oh, here it is!" She held up a pair of sheers, the blades well-kept despite the obvious use. "This is going to pinch," she warned before slicing cleanly through the muscle.

"Lean forward please, no sense in letting you choke to death on your own blood," she sighed as she pressed a jar into his hands. "And hold this to your mouth? Thank you. You're doing great, Frank."

The tongue was placed into a spelled jar and secured inside her bag before she was digging out a different blade, this one jagged and glassy and a deep, rich black. She set it aside and dug a candy from her pocket and unwrapped it, shoving it in his mouth. It wouldn't grow his tongue back, but it would stop the bleeding. She needed him alive for this next part and it would help with the blood loss.

"This next part is going to really hurt, but, I mean, a deal's a deal and I need a heart. That is, after all, what you agreed to," she reminded him as she pushed him back and got to work. She could have gone the more gentle route and slipped her hand under his ribs, but he had pissed her off so she settled for breaking his bones to get to his still-beating heart and carefully cutting it out of his chest.

It was only magic that was keeping him alive at this point and a part of her wondered how long she could keep him suspended in this state, but she knew she didn't have the patience for that. No, what she wanted now was to clean up and get something to eat.

Once the heart was secured, she released the magic she was using, a little disappointed at just how quickly he passed after. He had been a terrible person even before making his little deal with her and, had she been in a better mood, she might have made him suffer more. But that didn't matter, she had gotten what she had come for.

Bells always got her payment one way or another.

#drabble #30 days of drabbles #day ten #belladonna:drabble #tw: murder #tw: torture #tw: violence #tw: gore #tw: blood

[kiame-sama]

Could I request your yandere OC's with an autistic darling? Or maybe with ADHD? I have both and I love how included I feel when I read those things (I love your chrollo with an autistic darling) like the whole jumping through topics easily and being too loud and the snide comments others make really hit home with me (although these days I just snap back with the snark but it really hurt my feelings as a kid)

Sorry I got on a ramble there

Oh and can I be added to your taglist? Just in general for whatever you write please, I love your works they make me happy

(Sure! First I need to make a tag list and finally update the master lists since it has been at least a year...)

Warnings; yandere, yandere relationships, yandere behavior, autistic reader, the world is not very kind to neurodivergent folk,

~~~~~~~~

- Evan cares very deeply for you and enjoys your bouncing mind. He may not always get what you mean when you jump to a different topic, but he can usually pick up on it fairly quickly.

- Evan will sit and listen to you talk about whatever it is that you have fixated on whenever you start going on a tangent about it. He will also get you whatever it is you need in order to satisfy your fixated behavior, regardless of if it is expensive or not. Only the best quality things for his darling dearest.

- he may sometimes feel a bit frustrated when you don't pick up on his flirting, but he also knows that you aren't doing it with the intent of frustrating him, so he lets it go quickly.

- If any of his underlings say anything or do anything to make you upset or to mock you, he will torture them as an example so the others see just how bad of an idea it is.

- Walter is a doctor of physical health and not mental health, but that doesn't mean he won't make an effort to understand you. He knows that he may never fully be able to keep up with your mind, but he also knows that he adores you and refuses to let you go.

- Any random injuries you may get during the day will be treated with as much seriousness as a large injury. It may feel overbearing at times, but he is showing his love through acts of service and his desire to keep you safe.

- Whenever you become over stimulated he is there to help keep you calm and to help you get somewhere a little less stimulating. He also knows that you need space at times to calm down, so though it makes his chest hurt to keep his distance while you are so clearly distraught, he also knows to give you that space. Just let him know when he can hold you again.

- The best part about living with Carlos is the amount of animals you can ramble to about anything and everything. He owns a wildlife sanctuary and he likes to talk to the critters as well, so he can't judge. The best listeners out of all the creatures he cares for are either the elephants, or Mimis. The elephants because they are very gentle with you, Mimis because she is not particularly bothered by whatever volume you talk at and doesn't care if you get loud. Mimis will also talk back when you talk to her, yowling, purring, and whining.

- Carlos already doesn't like others, so you are able to get away from situations rather easily. It isn't hard to convince Carlos to leave the group of talking people and to take you to a less crowded area just to help soothe you.

- Jackson is an anthropologist and as an anthropologist, he will be so damn fascinated by all that you do and the way your brain works. Anthropologists don't always work with long departed people, but also in the study of living communities. You are a fascinating human and he wants to learn as much as he possibly can about you.

- He will pick up on your behavioral ticks and on your typical behavior and responses to things. He isn't a psychologist but he does know how to observe people and learn about them and their culture through observation.

- He already has extreme patience and tolerance, this will be most apparent if you even have a moment of overstimulation or a complete breakdown. Very little can ruffle this man or upset him, so he will be the steady one in almost all situations and he will be the one who automatically picks up on your behaviors.

- Amira has ADHD and is more on the hyperactive scale than females typically tend to be. She will easily be able to pick up on how your brain works and can sympathize the best with problems you may be facing.

- She is busy and working on her degree, so she does need to get her school work done, but any free moment she has, she will spend it with you.

- Julie- as an artist- tends to think about things in abstract and concrete ways. She will actually find your jumbled brain to be fantastic inspiration. If you hyperfixate on something, she will be happy to help you learn more about your fixation.

- Julie loves all mediums of art and she is so thrilled to introduce you to them if you need them as an escape. She understands your space the most out of the others because she is very touch-sensitive due to her upbringing. She can and will help you any way that she can, going above and beyond to make you happy.

- Kaya is a brilliant botanist because she has a 'mild' form of autism, though her behaviors are much more muted. Plants are her usual fixation, but she will happily turn that desire for knowledge and understanding towards you. She will do her best to share what she knows and entertain any fixations you may get.

- Kaya understands what it is like to be different from others and to seek out those that understand her. She will understand your struggles and interests because she also has to live as neurodivergent in a world that looks down upon her for just being herself.

- Hada works with very unpredictable animals that many people are actually afraid of. She won't find your morbid thoughts disturbing or a cause of concern. If anything she can read your mental state from your physical behavior better than anyone else.

- Hada is the type of woman to befriend sharks of all kinds and can read their temperament through nothing more than body position. She will have no trouble learning to read you and may even be able to notice your emotions before you do. She is also no stranger to staring down hecklers and getting into intense physical altercations, so if anyone says a damn thing to upset you, she is ready to sign their death warrant. Woman wrestles dugongs and has been bitten by 25ft+ sharks, still being the victor of any fight she has, people are easy for her to deal with.

- Ollphéist is an old God and really never understood humans much to begin with, but they will try to understand you and your needs. They can easily become whatever you wish and will happily adhere to your wants. If anything, Ollphéist sees you as the most entertaining human they have met.

- Ollphéist understands most things in the planet and even in the universe, so they will likely have knowledge on whatever you may be seeking. They don't understand basic human interaction so they are the least likely to ever become frustrated with you. You are their human and they treat their interests well.

#yandere #x reader #kiame-sama #yandere x reader #reader insert #tw yandere #my oc #my oc ollphéist #ollphéist #kaya braziel #walter woods #amira woods #yandere evan rothchester #evan rothchester #my original characters #my ocs do not steal #jackson locklear #julie winter #hada yamare #carlos vargas #tw autistic reader #tw neurodivergent reader

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Siren Song (Song Mingi)

Ateez Masterlist                                                    Group Masterlist

A/N: HAPPY BIRTHDAY MINGI!!!!! I hope he has an amazing day

I wrote this being incredibly inspired and I quite like how it turned out so please let me know what you think

Tags: Pirate au! Mingi x Fem siren! Reader, death, nudity, alcohol

Smut tags: Quite soft, explorative, Mingi is curious, oral (reader receiving), passionate sex, body worship, a lot of kissing, cumming inside

Word count: 6177

Sirens, they were a beautiful myth. A story that sailors told to convince themselves they weren’t going mad at sea. A legend... if that’s what you believed in. 

But they weren’t a legend, they were very real. Some pirates and sailors would tell you that, tell you their stories. That they had heard their beautiful songs at sea and were almost lured in. Although not many, if any believed them. Being a pirate or at sea for a long period of time makes a man lose his credibility. However sirens, were very very real. 

Mingi was new to the boat, a fresh faced, wide eyed, young man who was ready to see the world. Becoming a pirate wasn’t something he had planned, it’s not something anyone truly plans. But society had failed him, because of his status. Being accused of something he didn’t do and found guilty, he didn’t have a choice but to run. Mingi feared nothing more than death, if he was caught he’d surely be hanged. 

No, becoming a pirate was never what he had planned. After running, he stowed away on a goods ship and somehow found himself in a pirate hotspot. Surrounded by pillagers, murderers and some things even possibly worse, he was terrified. Until a cheery man approached him named Kim Hongjoong, had a proposition for him, an offer to get Mingi out of there and give him a family. A man in his position could hardly say no. 

Now he was here, staring over the rails of the ship as they sailed slowly over misty water. He hadn’t been on waters like this in his entire life. They were filled with mystery, so much so it gave Mingi the feeling of fear in the pit of his stomach. 

“Carefull, lean over too far and you might fall in.” Yunho joked as he placed some crates on the deck. “I could’ve sworn I saw-” “You saw something in the water? Not uncommon in these parts.” Yunho told the younger, watching his expression shift. Mingi was a bit paranoid, you had to be when you’re life took a turn the way his did. 

“It’s common here?” Mingi asked, feeling a wave of security flow over him. He was just relieved to know he wasn’t the only one seeing things. “Very common. Don’t scare him Yunho, you were just as scared as him the first time you came here.” Captain Hongjoong’s voice startled the both of them, making them whip their heads around. “Sorry captain, I couldn’t help myself.” Yunho apologized and the captain shook his head with a smile. “Go bring those crates down to storage, Yeosang is waiting on them.” Yunho wasn’t one to disobey orders, so he grabbed them and left. 

“Don’t let them make you crazy. Or this part of the sea. I’ve known plenty of men who’ve gone crazy in these parts. I like you Mingi, don’t let yourself become one of them.” Hongjoong placed his hand on the younger’s back and watched as he smiled at him. “I won’t, Captain.” Mingi laughed slightly, feeling more at ease by the second. Hongjoong smiled at him in return before going to walk away, only to turn back at the last moment. “If you hear the sweet song of a woman, ignore it.” 

All that ease Mingi felt suddenly disappeared at those words, because well he didn’t quite understand what he meant. Siren’s weren’t common knowledge or a local myth in the town he grew up in. 

Scared, the man backed away from the railing and carried on with his tasks. Ignoring any sound that came from anywhere other than the ship. He was so immensly paranoid now , but there was also something in the back of his mind that his crew mates were just messing with him.

That evening, he found himself drinking with Wooyoung and San, admittedly his first mistake. He didn’t know how it was possible but with those two, he found himself drinking way more than he normally would. At least he was a happy drunk, cheery as ever this way and almost forgetting the reason he was there in the first place. The crew felt like real friends however, similar to one’s he had before running away so he didn’t quite have the right to complain. 

Mingi placed his bottle down on the deck and swayed over to the side of the boat. He felt like he was going to be sick, not that Wooyoung and San would’ve noticed. No they had long fallen asleep like the rest of the crew

Leaning over the deck, he looked at the black water. It was terrifying to him because of how deep it was. He couldn’t see anything, just a sea of black surrounding him. If he wasn’t nauseous before, he most definitely was now. 

When he looked back at the water, he wasn’t expecting to see eyes looking back at him. Let alone warm eyes, full of life, blinking at him from the water. It was a woman seemingly bobbing along and just watching him. He could only see her face and he wasn’t even sure he was actually seeing it. 

“It’s the alcohol.” He mumbled to himself, blinking and rubbing his eyes. But she didn’t disappear from sight. As a matter of fact, it seemed like she had swam closer. “Are you a pirate?” Her voice was smooth, warm in contrast to the brisk air and it made her all the more real. Mingi was frozen, just staring back at her with wide eyes and taking in the details. 

It seemed like she was surrounded by light, it reflected off of her damp skin as she raised her head and body more. Now exposing her bare shoulders, he realised she wasn’t wearing any clothing and averted his eyes, but only for a moment. He had caught something out of the corner of his eye, something silver that reflected the moon light. 

It was a shiny, silver tail that practically glowed. The closer he looked, the more he noticed that it was attached to her and well the more his fear rose. Though he wasn’t sure what the fear stemmed from, if it was not knowing what this creature was, or that he thought it was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. 

“What are you?” He asked, staring at her with an intrigued expression. Mingi couldn’t help but get goosebumps as she laughed, throwing her head back and expelling the most beautiful sound he had ever heard. “That’s not a very kind question... though in hind sight I asked you the same thing.” She said, lifting her hands to move her long wet hair from her face. This left her body even more exposed to him, as she bobbed along the water. Though she didn’t seem fazed by it one bit. 

“How about this, you answer my question and I’ll answer yours?” She rebutted and Mingi stood with his mouth agape. “Alright.” He barely choked out and watched as she disappeared under the water, only to appear closer to the ship again. Now that she was closer, he could see her face better and he felt himself get nervous. She was beautiful, an ethereal being. 

“Are you a pirate?” She asked again, a curious smile on her face as she looked up at him. “I am.” Mingi responded, watching as she clapped her hands in joy. “Oh I do so much like pirates. So much more interesting than fishermen.” Her eyes sparkled as she spoke and Mingi was lost, as if she had cast spell. “Their stories are so much more interesting.” She added on before locking eyes with him once more. 

“Your turn.” She smiled at him and Mingi dried his hands on his pants, the situation had caused a cold sweat to form. “What are you?” His question was simple, yet still made the woman laugh again. “Surely a pirate knows a siren when he sees one, though if that was the case you probably would’ve tried to kill me.” She rambled as her tail splashed the dark water lightly. “A siren?” Mingi asked, not quite having heard the word before. “A siren... surely you’ve heard of them. You must be quite new to sea.” She said softly, the young pirate intrigued her. 

“Tell me your name, handsome pirate.” She asked softly and Mingi felt himself doubt whether he should tell her. She somehow managed to see right through him, however she called him handsome and that made a feeling bubble in the pit of his stomach. “Mingi.” He said it softly, merely a whisper, one he didn’t think she could hear. “Mingi.” She repeated much to his surprise. “Mingi... I like the way that feels to say.” She added on and he leaned down a bit more, trying to get closer to her. 

“Mingi, make sure to ask your crew about sirens.” She giggled before disappearing underwater, only to appear further away. Mingi’s heart sank, not wanting her to go, not yet. “Wait! Wait! At least tell me your name!” He called out to her, watching as she halted once more. She turned to look at him and with small laugh, she told him. “Y/N, my name is Y/N.” 

Mingi couldn’t find sleep, not at all after that. There was question in his mind whether all that he saw that night really happened. He had drank a lot and he had been at sea longer than ever before. It must’ve been a dream, a vision even. You were a dream, a vision. 

“Did you drink that much last night?” Captain Hongjoong asked, staring at his younger crew mate. He was gazing off into the distance, eyes small due to lack of sleep and hands restless. “No, I just couldn’t sleep.” Mingi admitted, not quite wanting to ask anyone about what he had seen. But if anyone would tell him seriously, it would be the captain. 

“What’s bothering you?” The man could tell when something was bothering his crew and it was incredibly obvious that something was bothering him. “It’s just something San and Wooyoung said yesterday...” “I told you not to listen to their stories.” The captain laughed and Mingi shook his head. “No, I just- what are sirens?” Mingi choked out the question, the thing that had been on his mind all night. Hongjoong wasn’t expecting the question to lead here, he thought the man knew.

“You don’t know? I thought you did when I made my comments yesterday.” He watched as the younger shook his head. “Well, many think they’re legend. I suppose I understand why, the brain refuses to believe what it can’t see. But they are very much real.” He paused and Mingi was starting to become scared. Maybe it was his captain’s tone of voice, or maybe it was the validation that you weren’t a figment of his imagination. 

“They’re beautiful beings, more beautiful than any of the other evil things put on this earth. Top half of a beautiful woman and the bottom half a tail. Not to mention their voices, they lure sailor men in with their song and beauty. Only to drag them to bottom of the ocean and drown them. Most sailors fall for it, they just want a kiss from the beautiful thing so that when they go back home they have a story to tell. Fools, can’t blame the creatures for doing it.” Mingi was mortified at his captain’s words. To think he found you to be the most beautiful thing in the world. The prettiest things were the deadliest, that was what Mingi was starting to learn. 

Mingi took the words as warning, if you appeared again he wasn’t going to give you the time of day. At least that’s what he told himself. Despite the tale, he wanted to see you again. So badly, he found himself dreaming about you. His eyes deceived him as stared out at the sea, he could have sworn he saw the sunlight reflect off of your silver tail.

But he had to push the to the side, there was an island incomming. It was nothing more than a small island, no living thing in sight. Nothing but beaches and trees, good enough to hunt and good enough to make sure the men didn’t go crazy on board. Which meant everyone around was scrambling around and preparing to drop the anchor. 

His eyes were glued on the water as they rowed to shore. Mingi was entirely sure he would never see you again, they had travelled quite far in the last 2 days and well it’s not like you had a reason to stick around. He was sure of it, but he didn’t want to be right. 

The plan was to stay on the island over night, sleep in the tree line and then go back in the morning once they had gathered enough and hunted enough. Simple enough.

Well, night rolled around quickly and the crew was sound asleep. Everyone except Mingi, no he had hardly slept a wink since you visited him. He simply laid in his hammock and counted the stars through the tree tops. That was until he heard a song. An absolutely heavenly voice coming from the shore. 

Mingi knew he shouldn’t have gotten up, he knew it. But there was a chance that it was you and he just couldn’t help himself. He wanted to see you again, despite what his captain had told him. 

The sand crunched beneath his boots as he slowly walked over to the shore line, scanning the beach and looking for the source of the voice. Looking over, he could see a group of rocks and on top of the largest one, he spotted it. That familiar glow of your tail in the moonlight and the way you looked up at the sky and sang. 

Waling slowly, he listened to your song and your beautiful voice as you stared at the night sky. The closer he got, the more he found his chest aching. He couldn’t tell if it was with fear or desire and that line got more blurred the closer he got. 

“Mingi!” Your voice was cheery when you noticed him approaching you and it was accompanied with an enthousiastic wave. “Surely Y/N isn’t as malicious as Hongjoong told me.” He thought to himself as he stood in front of the rock. You were as beautiful as ever, sitting in front of him. 

“I was hoping you’d be the one to come and find me.” She teased, a soft smirk on her lips as Mingi tried not to gawk at you. “You’re even more handsome up close.” She added on and he felt himself get nervous. “You told me to ask my crew what a siren was. I did.” Mingi told you, playing with his hands so he had something else to look at. “Hmm and what did they tell you?” You were staring at him, truly wanting him to look at you again. 

When Mingi finally brought his eyes back to you, he noticed that your tale was gone, now showing a pair of legs and a very, very bare body. “How?-” He stuttered and you laughed, loving the surprise on his face. “They apparently didn’t tell you everything. if we’re dry and on land, we have legs.” You explained, watching as his eyes trailed over your body. 

“Are you going to kill me?” Mingi asked, finding it better to be straightforward from this point on. It’s better to have feigned confidence than nothing at all. “No. You fascinate me. I don’t kill the things that fascinate me.” You were so blunt about it, raking your hands through your hair. “Come here, pirate and tell me your story. It’s not every day a pirate doesn’t know the legend of a siren. Whether they believe it or not.” Mingi was caught off guard, not sure what to do. The sea was far enough away, which comforted him because he knew you couldn’t drown him on this rock. 

He moved to sit across from you on the rock and tried to avoid staring at your bare body, averting his eyes before shrugging off his vest and handing it to you. “I’m sorry, I’m having a hard time concentrating.” Mingi stuttered, you smiled at him though and an odd feeling shot through your chest. “Most sailors would simply enjoy.” You said and slipped the clothing over your shoulders. Mingi shook his head, a small smile now forming over his own lips. “It’s not that I don’t enjoy it.” He clarified and looked at you wearing his clothes. You were beautiful. 

“You’re a different type of man, Mingi.” Why his name sounded so good coming from your lips, he had no idea. But it was absolutely addicting. 

“How did you end up out here?” You asked, stretching your legs and leaning back. You loved a good story, where as your sisters didn’t quite like talking but preferred a siren’s typical methods. 

“This wasn’t how my life was supposed to be, I wasn’t supposed to end up here.” Mingi had te delve deep for a moment. Sure some of the crew knew his story, but it wasn’t something he told just anyone. 

“I lived in a town that was quite progressive, I worked under and iron smith as an apprentice. I did good, I was a good man and i just tried to make it by like anyone else.” You watched as he spoke, taking in his details and tone. He was sad. “I never tried to hurt anyone and if I did it wasn’t on deliberate. But my master, he wasn’t good. He actively tried hurting people, especially ones he hated and he didn’t hate anyone more than his own daughter. I never understood why, she was pretty, kind and well liked among the town but he hated her.” Mingi had to pause, remembering that time, remembering the sweet girl that was always so nice to him when he worked. 

“I came into the shop one day and found her, dead on the ground, strangled. Her father did it and pinned it on me. Claiming that I ‘always watched her when she was around’ and that I was ‘just wait for a chance to be alone with her’. I-” Mingi was cut off when a tear dropped from his eyes. You had placed your hand on his chin, wiping it away with your thumb. “You never touched her.” You said softly, scanning his face. “I never did, They were going to hang me for something I didn’t do. I had to run.” You continued to wipe the tears from his face, moving onto your knees to get closer to him. 

“And that’s how you ended up here.” You had heard many sad stories in your life, but none of the men had seemed nearly as regretful as Mingi did in this moment. Your hand moved from his chin to his cheek, taking in his handsome features. Even when he was upset, he was handsome. Sharp jawline coupled with a sharp nose and pillowy lips. Definitely one of the more handsome men at sea. 

“You know in your heart that you didn’t do it.” You said softly, moving your fingers to thread through his hair. Mingi found himself staring at your face, taking note of your sympathetic face. Surely you weren’t the murderous creature he was told you were. 

“My sisters aren’t fond of men, they kill them for sport. But I like hearing the stories, it takes a lot to drive a man out to sea.” You explained and gently pulled his face closer to yours. Mingi felt himself sink into your touch, allowing you to guide him into laying down with his face settled in the crook of your neck. Your skin was soft under his touch and his hands found your waist to hold onto as he relaxed. Your nails scraped over his scalp lightly, making him hum. 

“You have a pure soul.” You said softly, enjoying his touch. Mingi didn’t know what had gotten into him, he had went from being scared of you to being held by you and well he was enjoying it. Your touch was comforting. 

Your legs tangled with his, fingers still running through his hair. “Go to sleep Mingi. Dawn is almost upon us.” You whispered, kissing his forehead and allowing him to lul to sleep. Mingi had let his guard down fully for you and as ridiculous as it sounded, he was falling in love. 

The hours in your arms, were the best hours he had ever slept. Being in such a deep dream that he didn’t think even an earthquake could wake him. He dreamt that he was underwater and absolutely weightless. Just floating under the surface of chrystal clear water. You were swimming circles around him, silver tail catching the rays of light from the sun as you did so. He felt as if he was one with the ocean. 

It wasn’t until the feeling of something pushing him (quite roughly) woke him up and brought him back to reality. “Jesus Christ Mingi, we thought you’d be killed by something. What are you doing all the way out here?” Wooyoung’s voice was shrill as he yelled to wake Mingi up. “Huh?” He shot up from his position on the rock, looking around frantically for you. But you were nowhere to be found and well, neither was his vest. 

“What are you doing out here?” Wooyoung asked again and Mingi shook his head, needing to come up with a response and fast. “I uhh couldn’t sleep last night, went for a walk and then sat down here. Guess I fell asleep.” He cleared his throat and blinked at his friend. “You’ve been acting strange Mingi. Are you alright?” He asked, voice full of concern. Mingi never acted this odd, Wooyoung was worried. 

“I’m fine, just haven’t been sleeping properly.” He admitted and ran his fingers through his hair. Your touch was still lingering on his skin, he could feel you everywhere. 

“Captain wants to stay here one more night, founds some caves and a lake he wants to check out.” Wooyoung explained and Mingi nodded. “Alright, I’ll be around in a bit.” Mingi said softly, needing a moment to process some things. Where had you gone?

He had managed to pull himself together, rejoining the crew in exploring the island. Traipsing through the trees, he looked around the area and took it in. One thing he could admit was that he never would have seen half of the beautiful things he had if he had stayed in his village, you included. He couldn’t take that for granted, especially not as he was standing in front of a small waterfall that fell into a small crystal clear lake. 

“Wow.” He said quietly, feeling Hongjoong clap his hand onto his back. “Not something you see everyday.” His captain said, a big smile on his face. Mingi couldn’t help but crack a smile himself, shaking his head. “Definitely not something you see everyday.” He laughed, looking over to the waterfall and laughing. The bad feeling he had had about you was gone, the bad feeling in his gut was gone. Airing his worries out to you made him feel better, things were looking up in his opinion. Maybe he would sleep properly from now on too. 

The pirates made camp near the water and Mingi found himself once more staring into water. It was so clear but you couldn’t see the bottom. It was deceptively deep, someone could easily make the mistake of swimming too deep and not make it back up for air. It looked like the water from his dream.  

The feeling of gentle fingertips gliding over his cheek woke him up that night. He knew his crew wouldn’t spare him the same gentle touch, it had to be you. “Wake up handsome.” Your fingertips moved from his cheek to his chin, stroking it gently as you took in features. Truly handsome. 

“Where’d you go this morning?” Mingi asked, eyes opening slowly to see your face. He watched as your lips curled into smile and your eyes sparkled. “Come on.” You said softly, taking his hand into yours. Pulling Mingi from his bed, he didn’t even question it. He had decided that this island was his paradise. 

“You stole my vest.” Mingi commented once they were further away from the rest of the crew. He watched you let out a hearty laugh and turn around to look at him. “I found myself quite liking it. I think i could get used to this clothing thing.” You smiled, before tugging him closer to you. 

He felt his breath hitch for a moment as your chest met his, it was a natural reaction. The only thing keeping his body from yours was his vest, naturally he was flustered. Mingi pressed his chest against you, the weight of his body making you step backwards until your back hit a boulder. 

“You keep calling me handsome.” Mingi remarked, his hand coming up to rest on your bare hip. It was the first time a man’s touch had made goosebumps form over your skin. “You keep calling me handsome and I don’t think I’ve told you how beautiful I think you are.” His words made you almost shiver. Of course you had heard them all before, he wasn’t your first pirate or sailor. But surely they had a different effect on you than most. 

You grabbed his chin again, this time with more force than any of the other times. Mingi flinched slightly only to find your lips not inches apart from his and he took the risk. He was going to kiss a siren. 

He didn’t intend to kiss you so roughly, but need took over as he pressed his lips to yours. You moved your hands to his hair and gently scratched over his scalp as he kissed you. Deepening the kiss as you did so, you could feel him hum against your lips. His hand moved up, from your hip to your waist underneath vest and his grip tightened slightly. 

Mingi moved his hands down to your thighs, lifting you off the ground to lay you down on your back. The vest had shifted, being useless in covering you up at this point, so you simply took it off. He sat on his heels as you wrapped your legs around his waist, not wanting his body to leave yours. You simply looked up at him as he looked over your body, his regularly soft expression having turned dark and intense. It made heat pool inbetween your legs. 

Reaching up, you undid the ties on his shirt and tugged it off of him. The action made him laugh before he leaned down and pressed his bare chest to yours. His hands moving your hair out of your face before kissing you again. This kiss was so much more intense, teeth clashing and hips rolling into yours. Not to mention the feeling of his bare skin on yours, you were infatuated with him. 

His pants didn’t do much for hiding how much he enjoyed you, bulge pressing directly into your bare core. You let out a gasp at the pressure, making him nip at your lips before trailing the kisses down your jaw. He wasn’t horribly experienced but he knew enough and well he seemed to be doing just fine. That gave him a confidence boost, not to mention every little sound coming out of your mouth, boosted his confidence even more. 

“Mingi-” You hummed, feeling his lips over your neck. The kisses were gentle, soft praises being whispered inbetween them. “So beautiful.” He said softly and groaned as you tugged harshly on his hair. Mingi looked you in the eyes and flashed a smile in your direction. “Where did you learn how to kiss like that?” You asked, your fingers tracing over his lips. “I had a life before this.” He chuckled before turning his face back to your skin. 

His hands moved to massage your breasts, thumbs swiping over your nipples before latching his lips over one. Sucking at your skin and sending a wave of pleasure through your body and making your arch your back. 

Mingi was absolutely straining in his pants now, your body was perfect to him as if you were made for him. Your soft skin, your precious lips and your gentle hands, you were everything he had always wanted. 

Your fingers threading through his hair got a bit harsher the more he flicked his tongue of your nipple, you already felt like you were on fire. He moved his lips down over your stomach before stopping at before your core. This was something he had never done, but something he had always wanted to do. 

Spreading your thighs a little further, he settled between your legs and wrapped his arms around them. “What are yo- Oh.” You moaned, feeling the light kiss on your core. It almost made you feel lightheaded and dizzy, as his tongue delved deeper. Licking up your juices, he couldn’t help but moan. Perhaps it was because of what you were, or maybe you truly were built for him, but you tasted sweet and addictive. He wanted more of you. 

You raised your hips, guiding your core over his tongue and moaning out. “Mingi please don’t stop.” You moaned out, needing to feel that sweet sweet release. it was the way you moaned out his name, repeatedly like you were saying a prayer, he wasn’t going to stop until you came. He pulled you closer to his face, harshly and showed you that he truly wasn’t planning on stopping. 

The coil in your stomach quickly burst, making your hips buck as you tried to pull away from him. The whines coming out of your mouth were music to his ears as he continued to lick over your core, lapping up every bit of your juices that he could and finally pulling away. 

You looked at him as he sat on his heels again, lower part of his face glistening with your juices and breathing heavily. “Did that also get taught to you from your life before this?” You asked, sitting up to undo his pants. His arms hung at his sides and he simply let you do it for him. “Actually, I’ve never done that before.” Mingi admitted, making your actions halt. It felt entirely too good for it to have been his first time. You raised an eyebrow at him before pushing him back, making him lay on the ground. 

“I feel like you’re lying to me.” You said, tugging his pants down and watching his cock spring up. “I don’t lie.” He said and you shook your head. You straddled him, your core right over his and you braced your hands on his chest. “All men lie.” You whispered, leaning down and placing a quick kiss on his lips. His hands moved to your ass and helped you sink down onto him. “I like to think I’m not like all men. Especially not what you’re used too” He groaned, finally being enveloped in you. You took a moment to let your body adjust to his, breathing through the stretch and feeling a warmth in your chest as his fingers laced with yours. It was a comforting action, to distract you from the discomfort however slight it was. Maybe Mingi wasn’t like all men. 

You raised his hands over his head, pinning them there with your own as you started raising your hips. Allowing yourself to bounce on him, you felt so incredibly full. Filling you up completely and making your legs shake slightly but you put that to the side. It felt too good to stop. 

Mingi was even more convinced than before that you were made for him with the way you squeezed him. You released his hands and placed yours back on his chest, needing more support as you continued to ride him. He was hitting that sweet spot inside of you with every little bit he raised his hips to meet your thrusts. 

“You feel so good.” Mingi moaned out, hands pulling your chest flush against his. he planted his feet on the ground, fucking up into you and taking over. He was chasing his own high, needing a harsher pace and leaving you stuttering. 

You watched his face, from his shut eyes to his clenched jaw. That alone was almost enough to make you orgasm again. You kissed his lips to hide your moans as you felt them getting louder, his crew still being only a small distance away. He kissed you in return as his own stomach filled with warmth. He was so close to release and just needed that little bit to send you both over the edge. Your hand found his hair once more, tugging it in response to a harsh thrust and that did it. His hips stuttered and deep groans left his lips as he planted himself deep inside of you. Orgasm coating your walls and sending you over the edge with him. 

You lay there ontop of him, feeling incredibly full as he stroked your hair. “You are different from most men.” You mumbled softly, feeling a wave guilt come through you. “Most men don’t care the way you do.” Your words shrunk in volume even more, guilt and shame taking over you. Maybe it was guilt over your past actions, the men you had dragged to the bottom of the ocean, maybe it was about what you were going to do. 

Mingi helped you get off of him, watching you lay down next to him. You rested your head on his chest and he stroked your hair. The few times he had been with someone this way, yes they had been special. But nothing quite like this, Mingi was overwhelmed with love. 

“Y/N?” His tone sounded questioning, almost as unsure as the first night he had met you. “I think I might be in love with you.” He confessed, the feeling in his chest no longer being contained. He really couldn’t help himself, the last few days had been filled with you. Not just physically, but you were in his heart. You were speechless at his words, the guilt now eating you alive. 

“Come with me.” You said, pushing yourself off of the ground. Mingi couldn’t care anymore, not if you were completely bare or if he was. No, he only knew he would follow you anywhere. 

“Where are we going?” He asked, as you lead him towards the lake. “I feel sticky, I want to go for a swim.” You told him, hardly being able to look him in the eyes anymore. “Join me.” You added on, holding his hand gently, you stood before the water together.

 “Hey.” Mingi said softly, bringing his hands up to cup your cheeks and make you look at him. You hadn’t even realised it, but tears were falling over your cheeks. “What’s wrong?” He asked, those beautiful brown eyes boring holes into your own. You had never felt this guilty before. “Nothing’s wrong...” Your voice trailed off and looked to his lips once more. You started walking forward, making him walk backwards towards the water. 

He stepped in slowly, leaning forward to kiss you as he did so. “Mingi... I love you too.” You admitted, deciding that that was where the guilt stemmed from. Mingi felt his chest get warm once more, not being used to this at all but wondering how your life together could be from this point on. 

He kissed you, harshly and you sighed into it before diving forward. You both fell into the water, lips still locked and you gripped his wrist. You needed to get rid of your guilt and now was better than any other time. 

Mingi wasn’t entirely aware of how far down into the lake you had pulled him. Your hand wrapped around his wrist as your silver tail brought you both down towards the bottom quickly. 

It wasn’t until it was already too late that Mingi realised that this was his dream. Down at the bottom of a lake, the moonlight shining down through the surface as Mingi felt absolutely weightless. You let him go and swam around him, watching him blink under the water as he watched you.

He started feeling himself go lightheaded, dizzy as his lungs started to burn. He was starting to realise that his dream wasn’t a dream, it was a warning and it was now too late. Feeling his vision go dark, the last thing he saw was that silver glimmer of your tail in the moonlight and your beautiful face. 

Despite being the thing that killed him, he still thought you were the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. 

A/N: Again please let me know what you think! This is quite different from what I normally write. There will most definitely be typos but please,ignore those lmao

#a&mlibrary #mingi #mingi smut #ateez #ateez reaction #ateez smut

[skazoo]

of cowards and kings (3).

↳ thorin oakenshield/reader, slight thranduil/reader

when your anger brings you to defy one king, it also makes you befriend another. or at least it should.

length. 1.1k

genre/tags. angst

warnings/tags. mention of abuse, canon violence, manipulation, injuries, Y/N is horny on main, sexual tension?, semi-canon, manipulation

notes. okay i have to say that i kinda liked how this chapter turned out??? also even if thranduil has that special place in my heart he’s also a bitch sooo enjoy and if you’d like to be added to the taglist just send an ask or comment! ily

two + series masterlist + four

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You dreamed of soft cloudy pillows you had never owned and of rosemary-scented bed sheets that were far different from the damp ones you used when the company settled for the night.

Only it was not a dream, you were not floating on a cloud and incredible but true, you were not dead?

Confusion and dizziness made room in your tired mind for panic.

Where were you? Who were these voices you heard? Where was the company, your friends, Bilbo, Thorin? Had he noticed your absence? Did he care?

You could feel your palms starting to sweat and your clammy mouth failed to form any kind of sentence. With a start, you sat up in the bed that seemed to be trying to engulf you back in its warm embrace, and with a shaky hand, you reached for the arrow wound that was, weirdly enough, nowhere to be seen. No blood, no scar, not even a sign that you were slightly hurt in the first place.

“You ought to thank my healers and my mercy for that, human.”

His presence demanded attention and his spine-chilling beauty helped a lot. His wooden crown created a stark contrast against his ivory hair and in all the seriousness of the moment, you thought if he was born like that or if it was just another of the elven ‘magic tricks’, or how the dwarves called their magic.

“I-”, your voice croaked in the almost empty room, “- I’m glad Your Majesty decided to not let me die”

The king’s hand that was slowly stroking the bed frame stilled, and in a moment of distraction, you wondered how it would feel to have his long fingers around your neck. Or anywhere else on your body if you were to listen to your subconscious.

“Seems like your king left you for dead. Or maybe he trusts you so much he’s sure you’ll find your way back to him?”, his eyebrow raised skeptically.

“He doesn’t- He’s not my king.”, you bit down on your tongue. Had his guards told him what had happened in the cells with Thorin or was it just that obvious?

“What is Your Majesty-”

“Please call me your Highness”

He wasn’t smiling and ’Oh my- is he serious? ’

You scoffed incredulously and went on with a mocking tone.

“What is your Highness plan for the low human in his presence?”, still he wasn’t laughing.

“Don’t you feel forgotten Y/N? Unimportant, even.” his tone shifted to a condescending one and you felt like a child again -being scolded for things out of your reach- that you almost expected the king to take off his crown and beat you with it.

The insinuation he made, although true, was harsh and stung like the arrow that had separated you from the friends that you thought would never leave one of them behind. Maybe you were not one of them, then?

“From what I can understand you saved their lives risking yours, an awfully useless act if I may, and they left without turning back, am I wrong?”

“If I may,” you got out of bed and tried to take a confident stance, “you are wrong, I hope- I’m sure they will come, it’s just too soon, that’s it, it has only been hours, they are jus-”, Thranduil raised a hand to stop your rambling and you found yourself immediately obeying.

“It has been two days, human. The arrow had Morgul poison, you were dead for two minutes before my guards found you and revived you. Do you still think they’re coming?”

You had stopped listening after 'two days’.

So Thorin’s words were real. It was not one of those scenarios of bad things said in the heat of the moment, he really meant them, they all silently meant them.

“Y/N…”

When you touched your face your fingers came back wet. You were confused, lost, betrayed.

“I like the way you say my name,” you sniffled “-do you think you could- can you say it again” if your pleading tone sounded pathetic and desperate Thranduil didn’t say anything, he just took a slow step in your direction and grazed your shoulder where the wound would have been.

You crumbled to the floor and he was there to catch you.

He held you in his arms, dried your tears with milky hands, brushed your hair out of your face, shushed you when new fits of pain took your heart hostage, whispered uncharacteristic sweet nothings in our ear.

You felt unreplaceable for a bit.

You fell asleep like that, on the floor, and dreamed of soft cloudy pillows and rosemary-scented bed sheets and strong arms. Only it was not a dream.

+

“-my master serves the One, do you understand elf? The flames of war are upon you-”, a thud resonated outside the door of your room and woke you up.

“Father, you promised to set him free. There was more the orc could tell us”

“There was nothing more he could tell me”

“A weapon so strong will be unleashed, son, that we will not be able to stop it. I want the border’s guards doubled and the palace gates shut. No one leaves or enters the castle, not my human and not the dwarven scum that is coming back to take Y/N with them.”

The commotion stopped and you heard Thranduil’s steps fade away.

You had to get out of there.

If even the elven king was scared of the things the orc said you shouldn’t, couldn’t stay back and leave your company alone, unguarded, unprotected. The company that was coming back for you despite the doubts you had felt and the lies the other king had told you to manipulate you against Thorin, using your desolation and forging your rage for his revenge. You thought that was childish.

Without your shoes on, you silently followed the crown prince towards the gates.

“Shut everything, order of the King”, he commanded.

“And what about Tauriel?”, he stopped in his tracks.

“What about her?”

“She left for the forest and she hasn’t come back”

You didn’t stay to hear the rest and left unseen, running towards the woods without looking back once.

+

'I bet Bilbo doesn’t have problems walking barefoot in a forest.’

That’s the thing you thought before being slammed against a trunk by the redheaded elf that must have been Tauriel.

“Woah, pin me down harder and I’ll think you’re flirting with me”

“Who are you and why are you following me”, your back scraped the tree.

Your expression shifted and you were serious now, deadly serious.

“I’m looking for them too. I’m going to find them. I have to find them.”

She stepped away from you.

“Then keep up”.

#the hobbit fic #thorin x y/n #thorin oakenshield #the hobbit x reader #the hobbit #thorin fanfiction #thorin x reader #thorin and company #thorin angst #thorin imagine #thorin x gn!reader #thranduil angst #thranduil fanfiction #thranduil x you #thranduil x reader #thranduil #thranduil imagine #thranduil x y/n #lord of the rings #lotr fanfiction #the hobbit fanfiction