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jals-stuff · 22 days

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short washing machine headcanons...

How would the Mashle characters react if they found their s/o stuck in the washing machine? + personal ratings (I know, no one asked)

For Mash, Dot, Finn, Lemon, Lance, Rayne, Abel, Abyss, Wirth, Margarette, Carpaccio, Orter, Renatus, Ryoh, Kaldo.

Warnings: SLIGHT spoiler for Margarette? Other than that, none. ratings are purely subjective, please don't bury me alive.

Note: none of this is canon so some charas might be ooc, don’t take it too seriously! Might write for Domina, Meliadoul, Famin and Delisaster one day, idk

MASH...

He’s probably busy eating or making cream puffs when he hears you call for help. It isn’t common for you to do such a thing so he freaks out a little bit at first, but upon finding out the mess you’ve made while trying to empty the washing machine, he just stands there, completely dumbfounded.

He’s a little dense, so it takes him a minute or two to figure out that you’re actually stuck. He’s never been in this situation before, therefore he’s sweating a little and panicking internally. “T-t-t-t-this is bad. I-I-I have to help them out.”

Pulling on your legs would be a terrible idea, considering his strength, and he’s just completely clueless on how to get you out.

Would 100% rip open the washing machine and leave you completely astonished as he does so, then pat your shoulder in a comforting way with a thumbs up.

Overall very cute, even tried to comfort you after such a “traumatising” ordeal. 8/10.

DOT...

He thinks he’s the main character, we all know it. He’s probably checking himself out in the mirror and saying cool protagonist lines when he hears you call out for help, and suddenly, his main quest has changed!

He walks in on you, stuck head first in the washing machine, and much like Mash, he just looks at you for a bit before taking in the situation. Of course, he’s going to help you, but he needs to gloat about it first, you know it.

“Damn, how could you ever get out of here without my help, huh?” He’d just take on dramatic poses that he assumes are cool (they are not), and try to pull you out by himself. “Can’t be helped, huuuh?”

Despite all his efforts, he doesn’t manage to get you out and he just starts mumbling things about the washing machine being a worthy opponent before actually grabbing his phone and calling someone for help.

Dot is just being Dot, after all, but he’s full of good intentions. 5/10, at least you had a good laugh..?

FINN...

Finn immediately interrupts his studying when he hears you call out for him, and he’s running like his own life depends on it! “What’s wrong, (Y/N)?!”

Upon seeing you stuck in there head first, he gets into panic mode! It isn’t completely horrible either and it’s just purely annoying to be stuck, but Finn sees it differently. If you called for help, then SURELY you must be terrified or in pain!

He’s going to pace around the room for a minute, wondering “How do I get them out? How do I get them out? How do I get them out?” before deciding that he’s going to take it step by step!

Gently guides you out of the washing machine without too much trouble and doesn’t judge you even once for it! He gives you a big hug afterwards because he’s convinced you were very scared (you weren’t, but he was)!

I physically cannot give Finn anything under 9/10. He is bebe.

LEMON...

She’s probably making a cute keychain for you when you call out for her. She will make you her utmost priority and cheerily trot up to you. “Yeeees~ what is it?”

You’re… stuck. She blushes dramatically and screams out something like “Kyaaah! Just like in those movies! You perv!” But then carefully inspect the position you’re in and how the hell you got stuck in there.

She’s going to try pretty much everything in her power, from pulling you out to switching your position and figuring out a way to painlessly get you out of there…

And eventually get you out! However, be warned: she will give you the side eye with a blush every time she sees you for at least a month and giggle. Who knows what’s going through her head?

Helpful, cute, and funny. 8/10 would recommend.

LANCE...

He’s reading a book when you call for him. He will automatically assume something bad happened (well, technically yes, but.. yeah) and quickly run to the laundry room. “(Y/N), what happened?!”

Looks down on you without you knowing. The display is pretty ridiculous and laughable, but he won’t make a sound. He’s just going to pat your back. “I’ll get you out of here.”

He’s a very smart guy, so he just has to look at the way you’re stuck for a few seconds before figuring out the most efficient way to help you, and it takes him very little time.

Will sigh and shake his head in disapproval, but internally scream when you pout at him for sighing because he thinks you’re adorable. He’s going to look away and clear his throat so you can’t see his blush.

Efficient and definitely nice, he won’t even tease you about it. He did look down on you though, 7/10.

RAYNE...

Where is he anyway? He’s taking his sweet time when you call for him, and when he does finally arrive, you’re met with his usual neutral voice. “Yes, I heard you calling the first time.”

You can’t tell, but when he walks in on you stuck like this, he gives you the look… but again, it’s probably his neutral face. How’d you get stuck in there anyway? You really can’t do anything by yourself, can you?

Much like Lance, he’s extremely smart, so he’s going to pull you out of there very quickly, and he sighs while doing so. How can you be so clumsy? It’s almost as if you did it on purpose.

He’s about to lecture you but notices that you’re very embarrassed and can’t even look him in the eyes, so his expression softens just a little and he decides not to say anything mean and just gives you a comforting pat on the head. “Don’t get stuck again, alright?”

Very thoughtful despite the cold look he gives you, efficient and nice. 8/10.

ABEL...

Abel rarely stays away from you for very long, so he was probably there when it happened and he saw you getting stuck. He also noticed how you couldn’t get out by yourself. “It appears you need some help.”

You’re now aware that he saw you and it’s just fully embarrassing, but he’s part of the clever ones, so you’re pretty sure he will help you out quickly. Or will he? He’s always been a little odd, even around you anyway.

It’s really curious to him, how you managed to get stuck that fast yet you just can’t get out by yourself. Will definitely ask if you did it on purpose while keeping a straight face and blank tone.

Gets you out in a longer time than he should’ve because he was busy trying to understand how you got in there in the first place. He won’t judge you for it, but he will absolutely bring it up around other people like it’s no big deal.

It’s nice that he was already there, did help, but embarrasses you in front of your friends. 6/10

ABYSS...

No matter what he’s doing when you call out for him or where he is, he will Acceleraise his way to you immediately! You are his top 1 priority!

He will however take a second to appreciate the display and chuckle a little bit to himself like “Hah… cute.” before actively looking for a solution because he can literally feel your embarrassment.

“How did you manage to do this?” He mumbles, and makes sure that you aren’t hurt or in any pain first of all. He will 100% reassure you through the whole process!

Abyss is smart and will get you out quickly and without making fun of you. Unlike Abel, he won’t mention it around anyone else, and makes a self note: needs to buy a bigger washing machine so you don’t get stuck again.

Sweet and efficient, very nice and comforting. 10/10, would get stuck again.

WIRTH...

He’s training and trying to improve his capacities when you call out for him. He’s used to you getting into such and such situations, so he just takes his time now. “What is it this time, (Y/N)?”

A bit dumbfounded when he sees the way you’ve managed to get stuck, will crackle up in laughter because as used as he is to see stuff like that with you, it always manages to surprise him.

He’s going to keep giggling as he helps you through, and you just wish you could wipe that smirk off his face but you can’t really do anything and just wait for him to help.

He even hesitates and feels like he should leave you like that, but he doesn’t want you to be upset at him, so he will get you out pretty easily and tease you about it later on. “Aww, c’mon, don’t sulk now~!”

Kind of a jerk, but in a lovable way. You need to find something to tease him back with, 7/10 though.

MARGARETTE...

They’re probably rehearsing or composing another one of these musical masterpieces to play on the piano when their beloved calls out for help.

They’ll gently chuckle and crouch down next to you. “Oh my! How’d you get in such a situation, dear?” Their arms are a little too bulky to reach out for you from the outside, so they’ll shift into their true form and easily reach for your shoulders so they can pull you out!

Margarette is one of the smart characters and will get you out of the washing machine in no time, very gently and gracefully, making sure you don’t get hurt or anything in the process.

Will give you a hug and gentle pats on the head to comfort you. “There, there~.” They won’t tease you about it nor make fun, but will definitely chuckle a little upon remembering it.

A mother figure, very nice and gentle. Cannot wait to hear the masterpiece they were busy composing, 10/10.

CARPACCIO...

He’s experimenting on lab rats and seems very engrossed with his occupation, so it will take him a little bit of time to hear you calling out for him.

Freezes when he sees you stuck head first inside the washing machine and stares blankly without a word for way longer than necessary. He’s got a little smirk and his lower eyelids rise up in amusement.

“Heh.” is all you can hear before he makes his way towards you and inspects you while he considers leaving you like this for a bit longer because it sure as hell is funny for him. But he knows you’ll be upset and he doesn’t want you to give him the silent treatment.

If he doesn’t find a quick way to get you out, he will stab his way through the washing machine (and give you a good scare as he does that) to free you! Terrifyingly sweet, he’s just staring with a very slight smirk and you know he will tease you about it.

Mean but at least he helped you out. You got scared for your life even though you know he wouldn’t hurt you. 7/10

ORTER...

He’s reading a book and he’s sure as hell he heard you call for him. He will carefully put down his book and look for the source of the muffled cry he just heard.

Despite being quite the jerk around others, Orter is a mature man, and he isn’t going to make any snarky remarks or make fun of you. He will sigh upon seeing you squirm, crouching next to you to check the mess you’ve been making.

“Calm down. If you’ve managed to find a way in, there’s obviously a way out.” Very rational throughout the whole process and effectively gets you out of the washing machine, inspecting you afterwards to make sure you aren’t hurt.

Much like Abyss, he will make a mental note to buy a larger washing machine, and kindly help you back up without teasing you or ever bringing it up around anyone else. If you apologise, he’ll tell you it’s nonsense.

Very logical and calm, efficient and polite. 10/10.

RENATUS...

Sure as hell taking a nice nap when he hears that scream of his name that could wake up the dead. He groans and stands up to lazily make his way to the laundry room.

He whistles when he sees you stuck there and gives a snarky chuckle. “Woah, just for me?” and you can physically feel your face heat up. He’s going to get closer to check the way you’re stuck and…

Whack! He’ll give your butt a playful slap before helping you out and laughing out loud at the ridiculous situation. After all, it’s not everyday that he gets to see his s/o in such an embarrassing state!

He will however stop teasing you if he sees you get uncomfortable and wrap his arms around your waist to comfort you with a softer chuckle. He might tease you later if he ever remembers this happened.

Again, jerk but in a lovable way. You need to give him that spank back tho, 7/10.

RYOH...

Like Abyss, you are his utmost priority and he will immediately drop anything he’s doing (probably admiring his reflection in a mirror) when he hears you call out for him!

He’ll chuckle when he sees you stuck in there, and you can tell his mind is running! But there is no time for this. If Ryoh's s/o is stuck in the washing machine, he must overcome this trial!

Will get you out in a manly way (whatever that means!) and you’ll even wonder how he did it so easily, that’s how flawless his whole performance is.

He might tease you if you’re comfortable with it, winking at you way too many times and making it pretty obvious what kind of ideas he has. If you aren’t, it’s also fine, he’s just going to cuddle you into forgetting it.

Ryoh is just a W man. There’s nothing else to say, 10/10.

KALDO...

It’s good that you called him, he was about to ruin yet another perfectly fine dish by pouring an ungodly amount of honey on top of it. He will pout in disappointment but come check what’s up.

“(Y/N), dear, are you having fun in there~?” He teases with a chuckle. “Can I join?” But upon hearing your frustrated groan, he will go into thinking mode and consider his options.

His first thought is to use honey to make it easier to pull you out, but he quickly dismisses it. He will, instead, pull on your clothes to avoid hurting your skin when you get out.

Will get you out, but your clothes are ruined, so he’ll give you his coat so you can cover up and not be too embarrassed. He might bring it up later and pretend he forgot how embarrassing it was for you, but really, he just wants to tease you.

Playful and cute, but he did ruin that shirt you liked a lot. 7/10.

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raydays-swap-au · 1 month

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Rayday's Swap AU ~ Anita Rosie

This design took a bit to grow on me tbh. Didn't mean for her to end up looking sort of like a business mom, but I actually kinda like it. Maybe that's just me though. Either way, if the clothes I designed for her are shit, then yeah, I know I suck at designing. But I did my best, okay? :'(

More information about the design + "sprites" under the cut

Why I decided to add on "Anita" to her name - Anita is a name I got from a rose species(?) called Anita's Rose. I wanted her name to start with an A too to fit into the entire gimmick the regular Vees have, and I'd personally say my solution is pretty decent!

Why her eyes aren't blacked-out - This is a trait all the cannibals has, and since Velvette is taking over as the overlord/leader of cannibal town, I decided it'd be best to give her that trait instead when I eventually design her. I also did think of making one of Rosie's irises a button, though thought that looked a little too out-of-place for her "well-put-together" outfit, so it didn't make it into the finished prodcut.

Added color to Rosie's hair - Rosie's hair is all white in canon, which is broken up mainly by her hat. This isn't something she has in my swap design though ( as she has to be more modern and all ) so adding some color to it similar to Velvette's helped a lot. Do note I thought about using the dark blue, but that turned out to be too intense imo.

Blood jewelry - This is something I've seen on Pinterest a few times, and I thought it'd fit her well enough. Not only does it link her back to her original design, but it also plays into 1) being pricked by thorns, and 2) being dismembered and being able to be taken apart like a doll. The jewelry is just red beads on a string, but imo it gives off those visuals idk.

The skull earring - I decided to keep this detail from Velvette's outfit as they both have skulls in their designs. If you're wondering where Rosie's is: It's on her hat.

General rose/thorn motif - this comes mainly from her name being "Rosie" tbh. Nothing much else there. Also, I know it'd be awkward as hell to to walk with those torns around her pants, but I thought it'd be a neat detail.

The light heart motif - This is a motif both Valentino and Velvette has, so I decided to give swap Rosie the theme too so she can match with Angel Dust in that regard.

Ball joints - Velvette in canon is supposed to be a doll, though personally I find that a pretty easy detail to miss. And while I usually won't switch character's species(?) or whatever else like this, Rosie and Velvette are more of a special case considering Velvette would fit more to be Rosie's species(?) to fit in with the other cannibals.

Blazer - Velvette ( in the outfit I referenced ) has a coat that has fur on it, though I found I didn't really think that fit the style of Rosie. Instead I thought it would fit more for her to wear a blazer over her shoulders ( at least when doing business and the sort. )

Balzer's hear sleeves - I added the hearts being asymmetric like that because, to me, it just looks best. Having 3 hearts on each sleeve looked off, having one felt empty, and 2 symmetric hearts just felt a little boring to me.

Balzer sleeve button things - They're tiny little blood drops cuz I felt that'd be a good theme to have more than in just her jewelry.

Hair style - The hairstyle may or may not have been slightly inspired by the messy buns from I think was around the 2010s. I have shit memory, so I'm not sure if that's the correct time period, but based off some quick Google searches I should be right.

And as what I am making the usual, the "sprite" without the background:

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel fanart #rayday's swap au #hazbin hotel swap au #hazbin hotel rosie #hazbin hotel rosie swap au

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alwaysbethewest · 4 months

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Kingsman 2 fic: Stay Close to Me

Happy @pedrostories Secret Santa day, y'all 💃 I was thrilled when I received my assignment and saw that I'd be writing for my sweet friend @iamskyereads 😁 Skye, I hope you have a merry Christmas and I hope this little story helps make it bright. (Okay a quick note: generally speaking I don't believe in apologizing for your writing, but I do feel like a small apology is merited here. Halfway through writing this fic I started to panic because I felt like I wasn't really meeting the brief of your prompt 😬 I started wondering if I should start over from scratch but I was already too far into it. I accidentally wrote you... a case fic???? With a smidgen of romance sprinkled in. I'm sorry! Despite my stress over that realization I did have a lot of fun writing this and I hope you will enjoy it anyway!)

Title: Stay Close to Me Pairing: Agent Whiskey (Jack Daniels)/f!Reader Rating: Teen Word Count: 5.3k Content/warnings: Fake/undercover marriage! Statesman casefic! A little romance, kissing, coarse language, very mild peril and hurt/comfort, and a splash of alcohol. Reader is a junior agent and has some muscle but otherwise no physical/age descriptions. As with any good Kingsman fic, my first step was to disregard half of canon, so this is either pre-movie or an AU. Unbetaed but thanks as ever to @fleetwoodmactshirt and @mourningbirds1 for their hand-holding ❤️ Please let me know if you spot any typos/mistakes.

The Statesman offices are housed in a sleek highrise in Midtown, a 40-minute commute from your tiny apartment. To anyone who asks, you work in the marketing department, and you’ve learned enough by now to drone on about synergistic strategies for diversifying market shares to bore anyone listening, but to those in the know, behind passcode-guarded doors, you’re Agent Violette, junior analyst for the private intelligence agency hidden behind the national whiskey brand.

For a secret spy job, your work is actually fairly routine. Most of your time is spent doing research and compiling intel for agents working out in the field. Occasionally your boss sends you into the field yourself—little baby excursions to get your feet wet—and you won’t pretend you haven’t enjoyed the thrill. But your desk job is comfortable, and satisfying, and you’ve got no complaints.

It’s Wednesday, and the only sign something out of the ordinary may be taking place is the note you find on your desk when you clock in. It takes only a little of your codebreaking expertise to interpret:

9:15 AM—mtg w/ Agt. C rm 806

Room 806 is a teleconference room furnished with a small table and a handful of chairs. One seat is occupied when you get there.

Agent Whiskey raises an eyebrow at you from under his cowboy hat. The accessory is so out of place in the urban streets of New York City that when you’d first met him you’d wondered if it was an affectation—a marketing ploy to signal the authenticity of the Kentucky bourbon your company sells on the side. But while you haven’t worked closely with him, you’d quickly learned it seems he’s just… like that.

He slides a folder towards you and you accept it as you take a seat and don your glasses.

“Any idea what this is about?” he asks.

You shake your head. Just as you open your mouth to speak, the comms switch on and Agent Champagne appears across the table before you, via the technological wonder that is your projection spectacles. More high-tech and more secure than Zoom, they’re one of the many things that sets Statesman apart from lesser spy agencies.

Out of the corner of your eye, you see Whiskey straighten up slightly in his chair.

“Jack!” Agent Champagne greets him. “How was Munich?”

“All good, sir,” he drawls. “You’ll have the full report this afternoon.”

“Very good,” the older man rumbles. He turns his attention to you. “And Agent, uh—” His eyes shift down to the notes on his desk. “Agent Violette. Good to have you on board.”

You’ve worked at Statesman for three years, but you’re still too low on the org chart to have landed on the director’s radar before this. He says your code name like vie-oh-let instead of the French pronunciation you prefer, but there’s an affability to him that makes it go over easier.

“Thank you, sir.”

“So, California,” he says, diving into the brief. Whiskey opens his file folder and you follow suit. The top page features a short itinerary and a character profile that you quickly learn is a new undercover alias. Violet Davenport. You like the name. She sounds high society. Glancing over to Whiskey’s file, you spot his alias and your brows raise involuntarily.

Johnny Davenport.

Hm.

“Vineyard owner out there is concerned about a potential theft. He’s received some threats and needs a couple of bodies on the ground to sniff out the trouble,” Agent Champagne states.

“Theft of what, exactly?” Agent Whiskey asks.

“Wine. Money. The usual. He’s got his personal wine collection stored on the premises. You know the business—some of those bottles are worth a pretty penny. Mr. Peterson—that’s the client—says he has a list of suspects for you to look at.” Champ waves a hand, looking vaguely unimpressed. “Obviously you’ll have to use your own judgment on whether any of his theories check out.”

“Sir, I don’t understand why I’m being sent on such a simple assignment,” Whiskey says. “No disrespect,” he adds belatedly, glancing at you. You give him your politest go-along-to-get-along smile.

Champ looks like he’s torn between amusement or annoyance at Agent Whiskey’s attitude.

“Same reason for anything, Jack. Politics. This client has close connections in the state government over there. If we can solve this simple problem for him, it may just lead to more prestigious cases. Ones you’ll feel are worthy of your valuable time.”

Jack should look chastened, but he doesn’t. He does stop arguing, though.

“I need a senior agent on the case. And Violet’s supervisor assures me she’s got the research and fieldwork skills to step up on this one. Your cover is a married couple on an anniversary trip, so I’m basically sending you on a paid vacation, here. There’s more information in the files you’ve got.”

Whiskey flips through the pages half-heartedly and gives a curt nod.

“Well!” Agent Champagne slaps his hands on the table decisively. “I now pronounce you husband and wife. Mazel tov!” With that he ends the transmission.

And that’s how you find yourself at the airport Friday morning with a diamond ring on your left hand and a disgruntled cowboy by your side.

The flight lands in San Francisco without incident, and Jack shifts into doting husband mode as you head to pick up the rental car the agency has reserved. He reaches for your suitcase to load it into the trunk.

“Let me get that for you, sweetheart.”

You give him a saccharine-sweet smile. “I’ve got it, hon.”

You lift the heavy bag with ease and watch his mouth purse for a second before he smiles back.

“I guess my baby’s stronger than she looks.”

The bored-looking attendant sees you off and Jack has you punch in the GPS destination while he eases into the busy freeway traffic. He’s a confident, slightly impatient driver, but you see him relax once you’re over the bridge and sailing smoothly north on Interstate 80.

“So what’s our game plan?” he asks as highway signs for Napa begin to appear, and you reach for your notebook and flip it open.

There’s only one bed.

You probably should have done the math on this as soon as Agent Champagne declared you a married couple, but in the whirlwind of arranging to leave town and the anxiety of stepping into your biggest field operation to date, it hadn’t occurred to you to worry about the precise nature of your accommodations.

Jack sets his bags down and flops onto the bed, letting the soles of his cowboy boots dangle off the end. It’s an exaggerated display of exhaustion, but you’re tired too after a seven-hour flight and another two hours in the car. His lanky body takes up the whole length of the bed and you try not to let your eyes linger as you contemplate the sleeping arrangements.

He picks up on your hesitation.

“This is where I’m supposed to do the gentlemanly thing and let you have the bed all to yourself, huh? Sorry, sister, not gonna happen.” His tone softens. “But I promise I don’t bite. There’s no reason we can’t share.”

The only couch in the room is a small, overstuffed loveseat that you can tell at a glance neither of you would enjoy reclining on for long. So you do the mature thing and agree to sleep with him.

Not like that.

Bill Peterson, the agency’s client, is one of those people who claim to be easygoing while in reality they exude nonstop nervous energy.

“I know exactly who it is,” he tells you in a hushed voice. You and Jack are in his office, under the guise of a private tour of the winery. Peterson has been going over what you already know from the file: that he has a high-value collection of wine held on the estate, as well as a hard drive storing what he’ll only describe as “sensitive” material; that he’s received several vague threats recently; and that with the hustle and bustle of harvest season upon them, he’s concerned his regular security won’t be sufficient to stop the would-be thieves.

“Oh?” you say. “Well, that will be very helpful, Mr. Peterson.”

“Okay,” he amends. “Maybe not exactly, but I can give you a list. Of suspects.”

“We’ve seen the list,” Jack tells him. “But what is it that makes you suspect these folks in particular?”

“They’re mostly other winery owners,” Peterson says. “Everyone on that list was present at a party I attended a few months ago where I—let slip some details about my collection. It was only after that the letters started.”

You and Jack exchange a glance. You’re both wondering if “let slip” isn’t code for “bragged loudly.”

“Is there a reason you haven’t gone to the police?” you ask. His eyes narrow.

“I value discretion,” he says tightly. “Anyway—I’m not sure they’d consider the threats actionable.”

“Can we see them?” Jack asks.

“Of course.” He retrieves a small stack from his desk drawer. You and Whiskey put your heads together to pore over them.

They’re all written by one person, in slanted, blocky handwriting.

YOU WILL PAY.

YOU WILL LOSE EVERYTHING.

YOUR EMPIRE WILL CRUMBLE.

WE WILL CRUSH YOU.

“Is there another one?” you check. “There are five envelopes but only four notes.”

Peterson hesitates, then shrugs and shakes his head. He’s lying, but you don’t push it.

“There is one other thing,” he says. “I keep seeing this blue truck—but it’s like he doesn’t want to be spotted. I see it slow down like he’s scoping out the place, but then he speeds off as soon as he sees I’ve noticed. I tried to get the license plate but it was covered in mud.” He scoffs. “We haven’t had any rain in months.”

Jack has him describe the vehicle and where he’s seen it, while you take notes.

“Alright, Mr. Peterson. We’ll be in touch if we have any other questions.”

“Thank you. Oh—here.” He hands you a pair of vouchers for a free wine tasting. “They come with the tour. One thing you should know about Napa—you’ll only really blend in if you’ve got a glass of wine in your hand.”

Jack’s code name is Whiskey for a reason. He’s a spirits man through and through and he doesn’t give the tasting room a second look, ushering you out to get back to your room to regroup. Admittedly, it’s only 10 AM, but you would have enjoyed a few sips of merlot. You’re craning your neck a little to look at the wine list posted by the door—just out of curiosity—when he startles you by taking your hand in his. You look at him. He’s staring ahead, holding your hand like it’s nothing as you walk side by side. Finally, your brain catches up and your nine credits of college acting classes kick in and you plaster a loving smile onto your face, leaning closer.

In the privacy of your little rented cottage, you pull out your notes again to review.

“Peterson is lying about something,” you start. Jack nods distractedly.

“Yeah—listen, before we get into that, I need to ask you. You jumped when I held your hand back there,” he observes.

You feel your face heat with embarrassment. He’s calling you out on your inexperience, the rookie agent who can’t even play-act for a simple assignment. You can do it, you know. Being undercover in the field is just still new to you. He could help you instead of being critical.

“Sorry—”

“It��s my opinion,” he says, with a slight frown, “that a man who doesn’t treat his wife a certain way is no man at all.”

You’re lost, suddenly. “Sorry?”

“What I’m askin’ is, do I have your permission to touch you like you’re my wife when other people are around?”

Oh.

Something about the way he’s worded it makes your stomach do a little flip.

“Oh. Yes. Touch me like…?” You swallow. “Like how, exactly?”

He gives you a steady look.

“Intimately.”

That’s fine. You’re fine with that.

“Right. That’s—” you nod, maybe a little too emphatically. “That’s okay.”

You look down, fingering the pages of your notebook again, trying to refocus on the more analytical side of the job, when another thought occurs to you.

“Are you going to kiss me?” you blurt.

“Shit, Violet, that’s part and parcel of it.”

“It’s Violette,” you tell him with a frown.

“Sorry.”

“Do you even know my real name?”

“Of course I do,” he says. You don’t push it but you also don’t know whether to believe him. He’s shown little interest in working with you this entire week.

Jack takes a step towards you.

“I’m going to kiss you now,” he says. “So you don’t jump like a rabbit when I do it in public.”

You take a breath. Suck your bottom lip between your teeth involuntarily.

“Okay,” you tell him.

Your eyes fall shut as he leans in. You feel his fingers steadying your chin, tilting your face to meet his, and then his lips touching your mouth, light, tentative—teasing, your mind prompts, and the thought makes you feel flushed again. When you don’t shy away he presses closer and you’re not sure which of you is to blame when your lips part and his tongue brushes yours.

You were expecting it, so you don’t jump, but you feel a little trembly when he pulls away. He doesn’t step back right away—instead, his lips hover over your skin, mustache coarse against your soft cheek, as he tucks his mouth by your ear and quietly, intimately, says your name.

“So you think Peterson is lying,” he says, picking up the thread from before.

“Um,” you say, forcing your brain to switch back to work mode. Your whole body feels warm. “Yes. Don’t you think he seemed shady?”

Jack shrugs. “Call me jaded, I think most people are shady. But I agree with you. He lied about the missing letter. I fuckin’ hate when clients do that. What do you think about the blue truck he saw?”

“I think that could be something.”

You open your laptop and with a few keystrokes you’ve used a Statesman backdoor into the DMV system, where you enter the make, model, and color of the vehicle Peterson had described. There are no matching hits within Napa County, so you expand the search. It’s an unpopular color, so there are only a few dozen matches in the state. None of the owners’ names are on the list of suspects you’ve been given.

“He said he hasn’t seen it around town, only driving by his property. And we don’t know who owns it. So how do we find the car?” you wonder.

Jack is silent for a minute. You watch as a slow smile spreads across his face.

“I have an idea.”

This case originated at Statesman’s Kentucky headquarters, so Agent Ginger Ale is your tech liaison. It’s clear from their dynamic that she and Agent Whiskey have worked together before. Having her voice in your ear is a source of comfort as you carry out Jack’s great idea—which you’re not 100% sure you’re on board with.

“Don’t you need some kind of license to operate this?” you ask tentatively.

“Technically, on paper, he has one,” Ginger offers. “Well, Johnny Davenport does, anyway. As of twenty minutes ago.”

“It’s a balloon and a basket, how complicated could it be,” Jack grouses. This doesn’t exactly raise your confidence.

“Just don’t crash this one, Jack,” she pleads.

“This one?!”

He shakes his head. “You have one helicopter fail on you and they never let you live it down. Don’t listen to Ginger.”

To his credit, Jack pilots the hot air balloon much more smoothly than you’d expected, and after some time you feel yourself relaxing and enjoying the view. It’s early October and the landscape is a mix of green and brown from the last of the summer heat. Tidy rows of grape vines are bordered by houses and larger wineries, copses of trees, and fields dotted with grazing cows. Tiny workers move methodically among the vines, busy harvesting fruit to be pressed and fermented. Through it all, highways and winding roads run alongside the properties, and this is where you refocus your attention.

Ginger has programmed your binoculars to register any vehicles matching the description of the blue truck you’re seeking. You train the lenses on the backroads and driveways, looking for private hiding places it could be stashed.

The whole endeavor feels like a long shot, and you’re just on the verge of suggesting you give up and head back to base when the binocs let out a high-pitched beep of recognition, zooming in on your target.

“Holy shit,” you whisper. “I can’t believe this worked.”

“I told you it would,” Jack says, looking smug. “What is that place?”

Ginger has looked up the coordinates before you have a chance to do it yourself.

“It’s a winery… Double Loop Vineyards. Do you guys know that name?”

You recognize it immediately. The owner is one of the names on Bill Peterson’s list of suspects.

You and Jack exchange a look.

“Guess we’re goin’ wine tasting at Double Loop,” he says, and he turns to start your descent.

The tasting room at Double Loop Vineyards is a large, tastefully decorated space that looks like it was converted from an old barn. It’s all dark wood and ceiling beams, and a bar runs along the back and right side walls. When you and Jack step inside, you’re greeted by a tall young woman with a pixie haircut and striking cheekbones. She’s wearing a name tag that reads Eva.

You settle in front of her at the bar and she pulls out a pair of glasses and pours a splash of white into each to get you started. You take a sip and peruse the small menu on the bartop.

“She’ll have the red flight,” Jack says, “And I’ll just have a glass. Can you recommend me something… full-bodied?”

As he says it he palms your hip suggestively, pulling you to him a little closer. You laugh, mortified but amused despite yourself, and he shoots you a wink.

Eva takes it in stride. “I can offer you a cabernet sauvignon that’s got legs for days.”

“That’ll do me just fine, thank you.”

You’re the only visitors in the tasting room for the moment so you have her undivided attention. She’s skilled at making small talk to keep you charmed and at ease; eventually she asks something more personal.

“So I’m planning to propose to my girlfriend soon,” she tells you. “And I’m trying to figure out how to do it. I’m like crowdsourcing ideas. You two are such a cute couple—can I ask how you got engaged?”

You and Jack exchange a glance and you give him a sweet smile. “You tell it, honey.”

“Well,” he says, keeping his eyes on you for a long moment before he finally looks away to face Eva, “I knew I wanted to marry her, and I had this whole plan in mind. I wanted something special for my Violet so I was going to take her on a trip—my buddy has this little cabin on the most beautiful lake you’ve ever seen—and make her favorite dinner, and sit down with a glass of something nice. And then I was going to present her with this beautiful piece of hand-carved wood that spelled out, Will. You. Marry. Me.”

He pauses to take a sip of his cab while Eva says, “Aww,” and looks at you like, what a sweet partner you have.

“Now the thing is,” he continues, warming up to the story, “as Violet can tell you herself, I have never carved a single thing in my life. And somehow, like a dumbass, I was convinced I could make this plaque and do it perfectly. But it looked just awful. And it was taking me so long trying to get it right I could tell she was starting to wonder if I was stringing her along.”

You shake your head in protest and he laughs. “You were! You’d look at me like, why has this fool not married me yet.”

Eva laughs, too. “So what happened?”

Jack lets out an aggrieved sigh. “What happened was, I caught the flu. Just the most dog-sick, pathetic man, all sweaty with fever and miserable to boot. And Violet never hesitated, she bundled me up and cooked me soup and tolerated my whining and she’d read me to sleep when my eyes couldn’t even focus on the TV. And somewhere in the middle of all that, I thought, I need to hold on to this woman forever, and I asked her right then and there.”

His voice cracks a little on the last sentence and you’re shocked to realize your own eyes are damp with tears. You’re not sure which part, or how much, but something in that story sounded true and it’s left you with a strange sense of heartache. You lift his hand to your mouth and press a kiss across his knuckles, watching his face soften.

“Okay,” Eva says. “So I guess I’ll add ‘get the flu’ to my list of ideas.”

“I don’t recommend it,” Jack tells her, “but I don’t not recommend it.”

As you finish your flight and Eva rings up a couple of bottles you’ve chosen to purchase—you’re not sure if these classify as company expenses, but you enjoyed them enough you’ll pay out of pocket if you must—she asks where else in the wine country you’ve been to so far.

“We spent some time at the winery right next to the place we’re staying—actually, we got to meet the owner there, what was his name, baby?”

You keep your tone casual, but you watch her face as you reply. “Bill Peterson, I think it was?”

Eva’s expression falters, just for a moment, before she recovers and plasters on a polite smile. “They’ve got a great pinot noir over there.”

“Not as good as these,” you tell her, just to see her smile turn genuine.

A tour group walks in just then so you take your leave and step outside into the late afternoon sunshine. When Jack takes your hand this time you let him, and you don’t mind it.

The blue truck is parked out back. You walk along the side of the building, just a pair of happy tourists slightly buzzed on red wine out to take in the view, until you get close enough to make note of the license plate. Back in your own car, you run a search on it and identify the owner: a young man named Lucas Trent. The address on the registration is in Paso Robles, a town 250 miles south of here, but you do some digging and find he’s a vineyard worker at Double Loop.

“So what’s the connection to Peterson?” Jack wonders.

“Look at this.” You point at the screen and he squints. “He’s only been at Double Loop for six months. Before that—”

“He worked for Peterson,” Jack finishes. “So he’s mad about getting fired and wants to get back at his old boss.”

“Maybe,” you say, frowning. “We don’t really know yet. But it’s a theory.”

“It’s a good theory,” he insists.

The two of you sit in silence for a few moments, mulling it over.

“Tell me this, rookie,” he says. “You ever been on a stakeout?”

On your first ever stakeout that evening, you quickly learn a few things:

Stakeouts are cold. Stakeouts are boring. And rental cars are not designed to accommodate them.

You shift uncomfortably for the fifth time in twenty minutes.

“How do we even know he’ll show up tonight?” you ask. In the quiet of the night you keep your voice hushed.

“Call it intuition,” Jack says. You can tell he hates sitting still this long, too, but he’s clearly built up a tolerance for it over the years, because he’s not wriggling around nearly as much as you.

“Can I ask you something?”

He grunts an assent.

“That story about how you proposed—how did you come up with that?”

He pauses.

“I just—made it up,” he says.

“I thought it seemed…” you start. He gives you a sidelong glance. “Never mind. You’re a good improviser.”

After a minute, he says, “I was engaged once. A long time ago.”

“Oh.” You bite your cheek, holding back your questions.

“She died,” he adds. Your heart drops.

“I’m sorry.”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Of course,” you say, helplessly.

Never in your life have you been more grateful to see a criminal approaching than when you see the familiar shape of Lucas Trent’s blue truck appear down the road.

“Ha,” Jack says, looking a little less glum. “What’d I tell you. Intuition never fails me.”

You take deep, silent breaths, trying to control your fast-beating heart as you creep behind Jack to follow Lucas inside the building. He’s got a key to Peterson’s winery; he must have stolen it before he left the job, you think. He heads down the hall, past Peterson’s office, and disappears behind a door.

Jack motions for you to wait a moment, listening intently outside the door. You hear nothing but the quiet thump of Lucas’s footsteps, growing fainter until there’s only silence, and finally Jack eases open the door. You’re faced with a short flight of stairs heading down into a cellar. The two of you tiptoe down the stairs.

You nearly bump into Jack at the bottom when he stops dead in his tracks, still hidden in the shadows. Peering around him, you see that Lucas isn’t alone in the room. Bill Peterson is here, too, standing next to a small wooden desk.

“What the fuck do you want?” Bill demands. Lucas stares at him sullenly. “You came here to steal from me, didn’t you? You didn’t think I’d be down here.”

“I just want what’s mine,” the young man growls. “You’re the thief, not me.”

Lucas steps further into the room, toward the back wall. The space is filled with racks of carefully preserved wine bottles—Peterson’s precious collection, you register—and a pile of empty wooden barrels, stacked two high.

“Those bottles are insured,” Peterson calls after him. “You’ll get caught if you try to sell them.”

Lucas says nothing, just continues walking until he reaches the wall. At the back of the cellar, he pushes aside a tapestry to reveal a combination safe embedded in the wall. He glances over his shoulder with a smirk, and punches in the code.

“How the fuck do you know that number?” Peterson roars, finally scared. He rushes past the racks of wine, suddenly worthless compared to whatever is on the flash drive Lucas has just retrieved from the safe. When they start to tussle over it, Jack finally steps in.

“Hey!” he yells, striding into the light. The men look over, startled, and then Peterson looks relieved. He lets go of Lucas, seemingly confident that his hired security will take care of the situation, and retreats to stand next to Jack.

“Get that back from him,” he tells him. Jack gives him a long, unimpressed look, and then turns his focus on Lucas, who’s starting to look slightly panicky now that he’s outnumbered.

“Listen, son. This will all go a lot easier if you just put that back where you found it and walk out of here with me.”

“You don’t understand,” Lucas protests. “He’s stealing from everyone. This is the proof.”

Peterson shifts on his feet, looking guilty. “Bullshit,” he says. “You resent me for being the boss, but I’ve worked for every penny I’ve got.”

Lucas lets out a humorless, disbelieving laugh. “Yeah, you work real hard. You must break a sweat making copies of your accounts so you can lie about the numbers. I bet you have blisters on your hands from shortchanging your workers.”

Jack makes a mistake here—he takes his eyes off the suspect to look at Mr. Peterson in a new light, trying to gauge which of them is telling the truth. And in that split second, to your horror, Lucas hurtles forward and shoves the stacked wine barrels, hard, knocking both Jack and Peterson onto the ground.

You make a mistake, too, and he gets on your case about it afterwards. You let Lucas slip past you in your rush to reach Jack’s side. He looks dazed and angry and his legs are trapped under the hundred-pound barrel. Gathering your strength, you lift it off of him and set it upright, then fall to your knees to check him over.

“Jack! Are you alright?” You feel carefully along his legs, then gently at the back of his head, running your fingers over his scalp to check for bumps or bleeding.

“I’m okay,” he mutters. “I didn’t hit my head.” But he winces as you help him up, and he’s moving a little gingerly when he takes a step. “Might’ve tweaked my ankle,” he admits.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Peterson yells. “You let that little shit get away with my property.”

“Let me ask you this, Mr. Peterson,” Jack growls. “Was it true what he said, about the double accounts?”

“I don’t see how that matters,” he insists angrily. “I hired you to do a job, and I expected a lot better.”

“I’ll tell you why it matters,” Jack tells him. “I don’t work for people who lie to me. Consider the contract dissolved. You can get your ‘property’ back on your own.”

“Actually, you got lucky, Mr. Peterson,” you call back over your shoulder as you help Jack walk over to the stairs. “If we had gotten our hands on that drive, we would have been obligated to turn it over to the IRS. Statesman has connections in the government, too, you know.”

And with that, you leave him sputtering and pale, alone with his precious wine.

It’s 3 AM when you get back to the room. Jack’s ankle isn’t broken, just twisted. You’d made him wait in the car while you stopped at a 24-hour convenience store to get ice on the way, so now you get him tucked into bed with his foot elevated and a baggie of ice draped over his ankle. He’s clearly still peeved over how things went down with Peterson, but he also looks amused watching you play nursemaid for him.

“You know, I’ve been hurt a hell of a lot worse than this before,” he tells you. “I can take care of myself.”

You give him an unimpressed look. “Getting badly injured isn’t the brag you think it is,” you counter. “And… you shouldn’t have to take care of it alone. That’s what I’m here for. I know you think I’m just a rookie, but—for this job, we’re partners, right?”

He’s silent for a beat, but then he nods.

Jack is still awake and waiting for you when you return from the bathroom in your pajamas. As you climb into your side of the bed, he says, “I don’t think you’re just a rookie. You did a good job on this case.”

The room is dark but there’s moonlight streaming in through the window, casting a beam of light across his face on the pillow. He’s looking at you. You look back.

“Thank you,” you tell him finally.

“Thanks for the ice,” he returns. He lets out a sigh as his eyes drift shut, and as you follow suit you feel his hand reach out and intertwine with yours.

“G’night, Violet,” he murmurs.

“Goodnight, Johnny.”

He laughs, and you grin in the dark, and you hold on tight.

#pedrostories #pedrostoriesgift23 #jack daniels x reader #agent whiskey x reader #pedro pascal #kingsman fanfiction #my fic #fanfiction

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beanghostprincess · 4 months

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I don't know why, but I think Usopp, of all people, might smell gorgeous despite the fact of him being a pirate. Maybe it's those long, luscious, beautiful curly hair of his, or maybe it's just an impression given by the fact that he's not canonically that dirty, but my brain only understands simple things, so -- > long hair + not that smelly = smells pretty effing good. And...I don't even think it would be one of those artificial, chemical smells? Like, I don't think he would wear perfume or such [that's more a Sanji thing, which is not bad, but not exactly Usopp].

It's just. His hair products. Natural scented products, that is. Sweet notes of coconut and vanilla, with a little tangy switch given by muted notes of lemon.

Also, a white soap user. I stand by this. 'Cause it makes sense: I think that being a generally very cheap product, he grew up using white soap to clean himself. Simply put, I think the comforting smell of the soap would remind him of his childhood, his village, his mother, and his friends. Also, Kaya is a white soap user, confirmed [she told me].

His clothes are also clean and smell very homey and cozy. And did I mention that probably his skin looks great too? Maybe not, but that's an argument for another day.

This, being a Usopp headcanon, obviously contains lots of Sanuso headcanons.

Because yes, Sanji is enamored of his trèsor's smell. He wouldn't get enough of it in a single day, in a single span of 24 hours. Like, a day it's too little, and I think Sanji would go a bit insane if he didn't get a whiff of his boyfriend's gorgeous smell every once in a while. Because. His boyfriend is his safe place, so his boyfriend's smell would bring him comfort [this considered, WCI would've been absolute hell to him]. Also, I think Sanji is pretty sensitive to scents in general, so Usopp's warm and sweet fragrance makes him feel at home [Zoro being a hater would not have time for this at all].

And don't get me started with Usopp's resident bestest of friends and certified cuddle buddy [Luffy]: you just know that this menace with abandonment issues [affectionate] would claim his Usopp cuddles every now and then. I also think that after the whole Water 7 ordeal, their cuddle session would've been extensive, because Luffy just "missed Usopp and his smell so much". Even Chopper is smitten with his smell! Small, smell-sensitive Chopper!

Nami would love it, too! Hell, even Zoro would appreciate it [more for the fact that it's Usopp we're talking about, and Zoro would not hate a single little thing about him. Except his taste in man, but that's for another day].

So yeah, to sum up this random headcanon, Usopp is gorgeous has a gorgeous smell, and is the crew safe place.

I agree wholeheartedly with this. So much. Usopp looks like somebody who smells so good. Like flowers and wood. No doubt. He takes so much care of his hair and hygiene that it's kind of surprising that he's a pirate, honestly. Although what did you expect from somebody as anxious as him? I'm sure he's worried about this 24/7. And besides, being Sanji's boyfriend he's legally obligated to smell good because I think Sanji would be very sensitive so scents (as you said. Because it's true. I often mention this on my fics, actually).

Kaya and Usopp took care of each other in a ver intimate way!! Showered together. Shared hair products. Did each other's hair. When Usopp joins the crew, he still takes care of his hair and his image but it's mostly out of routine and love for Kaya more than anything. Besies, he loves taking care of his hair because it reminds him of his parents and the way they loved his hair so much too!! Always said it was the best part of him.

And yay!!!!!!!! Sanuso!!!!!!

Sanji absolutely loves Usopp's scent. He smells like flowers and Nami's tangerines and wood and paint and crayons. Idk how to explain it, but he smells like art and home and Sanji can still somehow smell the Merry on him. Poetic little gays. They miss their daughter. Every time Sanji is feeling anxious or just misses his boyfriend, he will go to Usopp and hug him and place his head on the crook of Usopp's neck. And he just kisses his shoulders and skin there and smells his hair for a while. When they go to sleep together and it's Sanji's turn to be the little spoon (happens most of the time, though) he will either turn around to be able to smell Usopp properly or he will just bring Usopp's hands closer to his lips while they sleep. They're the clingiest thing on earth.

Headcanon that after WCI, Sanji's sense of smell is a bit fucked up. The whole place was full of sweets everywhere and everything smelled like chocolate and strong tooth-rooting food. Sanji has a hard time smelling things again that don't remind him of that. He stops baking sweets for a while, too. So he starts reaching out for Usopp more to drown in his scent whenever the memories of WCI are too strong. He spent a long time without being able to be with his precious boyfriend and the only scent that calmed him down. Thinking about Usopp giving Sanji his bandana when they part ways in Dressrosa and keeping it throughout WCI and smelling it whenever he wants to remember how home feels like.

Luffy and Nami also enjoy Usopp's scent but that's because they're the ones who cuddle with him the most when he's free from the hands of his boyfriend. They're,,, So sweet. And Zoro likes being around him also because of that but, you know, it's Zoro and Usopp, they like being together either way.

To sum up the whole thing, Usopp is the most gorgeous man on earth and he smells like a dream.

#love of my life istg #can you tell i absolutely love usopp and everything about him #aghhh thinking about clingy sanuso always makes me soft #and nami and usopp cuddling going insane #one piece #usopp #black leg sanji #sanuso #monkey d. luffy #east blue crew #strawhat pirates

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utilitycaster · 7 months

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A few recent books I've read and disliked led me to this conclusion but it feels like there's been this switch over time with queer stories. It used to be that queer relationships (or queerness in general) had to be Show Don't Tell because, well, you could not make them textual! So you get, for example, shows like Legend of Korra, or Xena: Warrior Princess, where you have women who are clearly devoted to each other to a degree that goes beyond mere friendship, and a ton of effort and care is put into that depiction because they can't actually be shown in an explicitly stated relationship. And as a result, these relationships, while they never receive confirmation in the show, are rich and complex.

Now not only is it much easier to make explicitly queer stories outside of niche areas; it's even popular (and, cynically, a marketing tactic). The problem is I've run into a bunch of stories that are marketed very clearly as A Queer Story that forget to like...be a story, or show me why these characters should be in a relationship. It's All Tell No Show: I'm told that the characters are gay and are in a relationship, but no work is done to actually explain why I should care about this beyond "well they are gay and in a gay relationship."

I'm not going to rehash what I discussed here, but Baru Cormorant is an example of those books where I'm given no real reason to care. The protagonist is a lesbian but the prose reads like a phone book. On the other hand, while Starless has a queer disabled woman as a one of the two protagonists, it also provides her with traits other than "queer, disabled, woman, important" and grants her a rich interiority (even though the story is told entirely from the first person point of view of the other protagonist.)

And the thing about the good examples in that link (Starless, Teixcalaan): they show and tell. It's both explicit that these are queer stories with a canon romantic relationship, but the little moments that make up the tapestry of a relationship are given the time that moments in a subtextual - or frankly, even a queerbaiting work are. That's the real tragedy; for queerbaiting to work, you have to actually make the relationship compelling enough for people follow it until you pull the rug out from under them; whereas you can slap a cold fish kiss on a cold fish queer relationship and technically you are Better because it was Explicit Representation even though everything about it was poorly constructed. I would rather have an lazy and shoddy explicit relationship than queerbait just on principle; but honestly I'd rather have a good story that does neither.

One of my more cynical interpretations of this is that writers are either intentionally or inadvertently taking advantage of the legacy of the Show Don't Tell era of queer coding to place the burden of those small moments on the audience. They know that people looking for queer relationships in fiction are used to having to dig for moments and subtext; but instead of providing that subtext, they set up the clunky text and assume the subtext to support it will emerge from the fandom. Or perhaps, more generously, especially for younger queer writers, they are just so used to having to provide that work themselves that they forget they are doing the writing and are able to (and should) layer subtext and text together and weave something actually good.

Either way, it's this that's led to the "Lesbian necromancers in space, need I say more"* era of recommendations, taglines, and writing, in which explicit representation is, if not plentiful, at least available; but a worrying amount of it forgets to actually write realized characters or a relationship with chemistry or a plot that makes sense.

I should also note: there's obviously a TON of straight romances and books that range from mediocre to abominable. I am under no circumstances arguing that "gayboring" media shouldn't exist. But while I don't think queer stories should be held to a higher standard, I don't think I should be obligated to settle for a lower standard either simply because it's gay. I know it's fraught, in that we're at risk of publishers and producers taking away the message "people hate this because it's gay" rather than "people hate this because it's poorly developed," but like...at the very least, could we recommend things in terms of "this is a great book that has a wonderful queer romance" and "this show is gay but it is also deeply mediocre, and if it weren't gay I wouldn't recommend it at all; do what you will with this information."

*I should note: I happen to like The Locked Tomb (of Lesbian Necromancers in Space fame) a lot! I know it's not for everyone; I know it can feel very gimmicky at times. But no matter how you feel, that tagline is DIRE and does a miserable job of representing the books. Like, that premise could suck, actually (and plenty of people find it does) if you're not sold on the mere fact that it's got lesbians, necromancy, or space in it. Worth noting that neither Starless nor the Teixcalaan books were heavily marketed as Queer Romance Fantasy/SF even though both very much are, which does further make me think this is a case of people writing good books that are queer, vs. people writing books with the intention to be on some New Queer SF list or, god forbid, Booktok.

#long post #the book i read this week (light from uncommon stars) was also like. really hit or miss #the locus review of it is spot on. like. i think one of the characters' stories is fantastic but i think it's afraid to have any bite.#also this was out of scope for this post but like. i have recommended terra ignota before #and like. it is saying THE MOST about Gender since Le Guin or Butler imo. but it's NOT marketed as queer at all #and part of that is that it's really not capable to read it as a romance (certainly not a happy one) despite there being queer pairs in it

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total-drama-brainrot · 2 months

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i dont know whether youve established this or not but for ur p!noah au, what does phobia factor look like? (if he makes it that far)

I've got a few ideas for how Noah (both in general and in this AU) would behave in the Phobia Factor episode!

My first idea, which works better for a more canon-adjacent Noah, is to have him either genuinely fall asleep at the campfire or feign falling asleep at the campfire- so he doesn't have to divulge his "greatest fear" in front of the others.

Because Noah's a very private person; both his fellow competitors and the audience at large know very little about him, and those who try to are often met with his sour, prickly exterior. Why on Earth would he ever willingly share his greatest fear on international TV with a bunch of people he doesn't even like?

(And, as we saw in the Awake-a-thon episode, pretending to pass out is something Noah would and does do to get out of uncomfortable situations.)

Of course, that scenario could be ruined by having one of the mlre confrontational characters (like Heather) shake him awake to hear his answer. But, ideally, it'd end up being more of a Courtney situation, where he never does give an answer, but Chris finds something in the shows footage that indicates Noah has a fear of [insert phobia here].

Then there's the second scenario, where Noah just straight up lies about what he's scared of (and I'm surprised no one else did this canonically). Again, why would he tell people what he's actually scared of? So he picks one of the most common phobias and runs with it- something innocuous, like a fear of the dark, or claustrophobia. Or maybe he decides to be a smartass and chooses some obscure or 'ridiculous' phobia instead, like ailurophobia/cynophpbia (fear of cats/dogs), on the off-chance that they'll have to face them as part of a challenge.

In the case of p!Noah, I think he'd do something similar to the second scenario, but claim his 'biggest fear' is hemophobia (fear of blood)- a bold claim for someone's who's decidedly Not Afraid Of Blood, in fact he's quite fond of it. Of course, no one else has any way of knowing this, so it's accepted as truth.

As a side note here, I kind of touched upon this before but p!Noah doesn't really experience fear like others do- that's why he's so amused by other's fear responses, since he lacks one of his own. It's also why he's such a thrill-seeker, he gets all of the adrenaline and none of the actual fear.

And then the Phobia Factor challenge happens. Noah's tasked with submerging himself in a pool of blood, similar to Beth's pool of worms, to earn his team a point.

Noah's fine with this. (More than fine, really. Red is a pretty colour.) But he can't let the others know that, or he'd be caught out in his lie. But he also doesn't want to lose this challenge. So he gingerly climbs into the pool, doing his best to fake fear and revulsion to... mixed results. He doesn't understand things like fear, panic and terror at a personal level, so for the most part he just looks like a soggy unamused cat. Despite how much he really wants to splash about, or get lost in the sauce.

(Maybe the more switched on of his team mates pick up on the maddened glee in his eyes as he floats in a pool of blood, or his almost carefully crafted stoicism- a far cry from everyone else's screams of terror.)

He wins a point for the team, and that's that.

Remember, Noah's strategy here is to be as unremarkable as possible; he wouldn't go out of his way to draw attention to himself. Especially not when Izzy’s still around to cause chaos for him.

...That doesn't mean he won't later make a confessional, still dripping in 'blood', where he complains to the audience that Chris used the 'fake shit' for his challenge for the budgets sake. Noah can tell! He knows the feeling of being covered in real blood.

#secret third option is having him sarcastically comment that eva gave him gynophobia #total drama #psycho!noah au #silly ideas #replies #tw blood

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lightfeltmemories · 1 month

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can you do shuro x reader nsfw alphabet? (ik he loves Falin but let just say this is an AU where he in love with the reader or it takes place after Falin rejected his confession)

shuro / toshiro nakamoto : nsfw alphabet

note: i love shuro, i've been cursed with "loving fictional character who has canon love interest" disease, but hey, fiction is fiction and we're going to switch things up, is ryoko going to blow up my house because i decided to give shuro another love interest? no? ok.

tw: none

minors, ageless or blank blogs will be blocked if seen liking, reblogging or commenting on this post.

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

shuro will do his best to make sure that he didn't accidentally hurt you, or just aren't too sore, so yeah, he's pretty good.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

not sure... ?

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

his cum is... sadly a bit bitter, no salt no sweet no nothing just bitter, it's also runny and he doesn't cum a lot.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

now i wouldn't go as far as to say he's some huge closeted pervert but... lets just say he kind of holds himself back and wishes he could do a little more with you, but his fear of disappointing and hurting you kind of gets in the way, i'll explain more in the kinks category.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

between little to none, sex isn't that important to him, but it doesn't keep him from being curious as to how to pleasure someone else.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

old fashioned missionary will get the job done, but he's open to other positions as well.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

humor is out the window at times like this, this man is serious.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

he gets a bit hairy down there, we'll never know if he trims or not, but all we know is that you'll see changes.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

intimacy and romance makes up about 90% of the sex with shuro, he doesn't like to do anything hardcore often.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

he's done it once or twice but that's kind of about it, nothing that can be considered a weird amount.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

now were in the kink category, now, usually, shuro is a sensual guy who likes to take his time with you, but sometimes his mind can travel the other direction which leads him to having some pent up feelings, like, what he truly wants to do with you, but it's kind of like one of those moments where it's better as a daydream than doing it in real life, y'know? specifically the aspects of choking, slapping, and slight degradation, despite not wanting to land a single wrong finger on you. (jesus fuck this was long)

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

this man would die if he were to ever do it in public.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

he's easier to rile up than you'd expect, your presence would put him at his mercy, you laying on top of him, your arm just brushing across his, but he doesn't usually act upon these feelings unless you initiate it further.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

i've said it a couple times, but, he wouldn't slap or bite you, he doesn't even want to leave hickeys on you!

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

he becomes so shy in either situation, he cums quick when he's on the receiving end but if you're the type who loves oral, he'll be a giver.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

mostly in the middle but sometimes he's fast but not rough if that makes sense? like he doesn't pound into you but his pace is fast...???

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

he doesn't like quickies, i feel like he'd be the type to prefer to you know... have sex with his partner and not want to rush things.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

he wants to branch out so bad but he's too nervous to do so.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

he can actually last quite a while, going at least a few 3-4 rounds.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

i imagine him wanting to own a few, could you imagine him with a cock ring or chastity belt?

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

do not tease him, he'll explode, but he doesn't do much teasing himself.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

quiet but not silent, he makes a few audible grunts and groans.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

he's a little bit of a switch, he exudes a little bit of dom energy but at his core, there's a little sub.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

he's average for someone like him, just a little under 6 inches with a sizable girth.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

his sex drive is a little low, but it fluctuates sometimes.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

he doesn't sleep much anyway, but if you two really went all out, he's knocked out.

#minors dni #mdni #18+ content #18+ only #dungeon meshi #dunmeshi #delicious in dungeon #dungeon meshi shuro #toshiro nakamoto #delicious in dungeon smut #shuro x reader #toshiro nakamoto x reader #dunmeshi x reader #x reader

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hinamie · 14 days

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some notes/hcs from th jjk band!au ! read at your leisure i have written a novel 🫠

tl;dr guitarist brothers suku/ita bassist megu drummer nobara band name BL4CK FL4SH

i imagine them slightly aged up in this au, i'm thinking yuuji n them are around 17 and sukuna is 2 years older ( i would make the age gap wider to account for canon but i feel like any older and sukuna wouldn't be caught dead playing in his little brother's band)

it /is/ technically yuuji's band, he /was/ the one who started it even though sukuna would argue that he's the one funding the whole thing and nobara would argue that she's the one organizing and promoting every one of their gigs and megumi would argue that he constantly loses sleep writing mixing and producing their songs,, they all love yuuji tho so they go along and let him put his name on it

don't think too hard about how sukuna, 19, makes enough to fund a band . wholesome legal stuff, promise

yuuji's current guitar is a hand me down from sukuna after he had saved up enough to splurge on the double necked monstrosity he has currently. because they were strapped for cash growing up, for years yuuji played on a beginner kid's size electric guitar that sukuna (serial music snob) couldn't stand the sound of and may or may not have violently smashed before tsundere-ly shoving his old guitar into yuuji's hands.

that being the case, sukuna thinks what yuuji has done to his old guitar is atrocious bc he's the type to take /meticulous/ care of his instruments. we're talking regular tune ups, wax, mods, the works. man carries spare strings and a microfibre cloth on him at all times just in case and Will Not let yuuji near his gear because yuuji is a hurricane of a boy and has dropped and broken his equipment more times than any of them care to count . they do however make a game out of placing bets as to what he'll knock over during practice

yuuji usually does lead vocals because his energy is quite frankly contagious and he's a natural at working a crowd . Sukuna sings backup vocal but there are a handful of songs where they switch and he sings lead and those songs are . hm . a very different vibe ! and some of their most successful releases much to his brother's chagrin

megumi had always noticed and admired sukuna's voice and thought it would be a waste not to give him a lead vocal part so he was originally the one to offer to collaborate with sukuna to write a few songs more tailored to his style ,, yuuji felt a bit snuffed but couldn't deny that megumi had a point so he agreed to take a back seat

once sukuna had gotten a taste for the spotlight and saw the stream count on the songs he led he and yuuji started bickering a lot more over who gets to take over lead vocals. they've tried duets before and it's simply out of the question so instead they fight over megumi to get him to write for one of them. it still usually ends up being yuuji which irks sukuna but he's placated by how explosive the reaction is when he /does/ get a song to himself

megumi can also sing !!! he's really good !!!!except he's shy and stubborn and won't do it in front of others. he once drunkenly admitted that he has a secret folder on his laptop full of audio files of himself singing unreleased songs and they (mostly nobara) haven't let him forget it and pester him relentlessly to let them listen. he will not because his songs are emo and sappy and pining and definitely not about yuuji

this is MY brainrot so this au is not immune to pining megumi x oblivious yuuji. one time yuuji kept inviting a girl he liked to their rehearsals and megumi's mood would get so sour that most days they had to call practice early and the ensuing show was one of their worst performances ever because their practices had been so unproductive. nobara is 95% sure she knows what was up but in the interest of keeping megumi in the band she kept her mouth shut ((she did admonish yuuji afterwards that no more outside spectators were allowed at practice no matter how hot he thinks they are))

in the days leading up to their first ever show yuuji was an anxious wreck to the point where the rest of them were legitimately concerned for his health but completely at a loss as to what they could do to help. megumi's love language is Not words of affirmation so instead he got yuuji a new set of audio cables accompanied by a note that read "good luck -M" to help ease his nerves. yuuji keeps the note taped to his guitar

megumi and nobara can both play piano and alternate covering the keyboard parts if a song requires it. (((megumi is a lot better at it which annoys nobara but she attributes the skill difference to his "freakishly long fingers and perfect pitch, which is basically cheating anyway")))

nobara gives the boys hell for making her play manager most of the time but she honestly thrives when a gig is coming up and she gets to order them around and use sukuna's credit card to book photoshoots and print promotional materials and buy them new outfits to match the concept

everyone but sukuna dreads the aforementioned shopping days. yuuji is a chronic protag who just wants to sing with his friends and megumi thinks coordinated outfits are frivolous and a waste of time . sukuna however /loves/ the visual aspect of performing because he's a dramatic bitch and wants to make sure they leave an impression. he and nobara are a force to be reckoned with and megumi and yuuji fight for their lives when they bust out the eyeliner

gojo is in this au because i guess he has to be smh i am never free -_- he was megumi's old music teacher and he runs the studio they rent out ("friends and family discount for my favourite student! aren't i kind, megumi-chan?") and they're pretty sure he's famous overseas or a retired star or something because whenever he comes to their shows there's a flood of paparazzi and tabloids that he miraculously manages to avoid??? they have no idea how he does it but they're happy to leech off the publicity

#jjk band!au #i have more don't tempt me take this away from me #hina.txt

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in3rci4 · 2 months

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§ THE BLACK PHONE BOYS X ADDICTION PROBLEMS / BAD INFLUENCE CRUSH READER §

WARNINGS : ANGST , MENTION OF MANIPULATION , ADDICTIONS , ALCOHOLISM ,AGRESSION ( VERBAL AND PHYSICAL ) , MANIPULATION , TOXIC ATTITUDES , SPIKING , LOW-KEY FORCING ADDICTION INTO SOME CHARACTERS , INDULGING OF SUBSTANCES, DRUGS , SMOKING , WEED , UNDERAGE CONSUMING , CHARACTERS X READER CONTENT ( SORT OF I GUESS ) , SOME CHARACTERS ARE MENTIONING CONSUMING AS WELL , GUN OWNING , MENTAL INESTABILITY , CRIME COMMITING , PHYSICAL CONSEQUENCES OF CONSUMING , GENDER NEUTRAL ! READER , ETC

Characters included in these head canons : Finney Blake , Gwendolyn Blake ( little mention of her ) , Robin Arellano , Vance Hopper , Bruce Yamada , Billy Showalter and Griffin Stagg

Author's note : If I forgot some warning or I have spelling errors please let me know , and if you feel uncomfortable with the post i recommend you wait for my short and non reader involved version of this one , thanks to @nnooahhsworld for the inspiration !

FINNEY BLAKE

He always liked smart and good faith people ( Donna for example ) , but that changed when he met you on his way to school . His bullies saw the opportunity to jump him and started to chase after him , and distracted , he bumped into you

You pushed him away annoyed , but then , you realized that he was running away from 3 familiar assholes , and just like a light switch , you moved in front of him while he was laying on the ground and told them to fuck off

The little shits didn't believe that you could win against them , so they started to insult you , they were 3 against 1 and a half after all

But little they did know that you had a gun hided in your jacket .

They ran away almost pissing themselves , and you moved on with your life , but Finney couldn't so that easy

He remembers that morning with a mixed feeling of fear and admiration for you , he can't stop looking at you any chance that he can , Gwen and Robin knows about his crush , but they don't say anything ( or well , maybe they do , but they back off because he gets uncomfortable )

He hated with all his soul the cigarettes and alcohol smell , but after that encounter , he started to feel more comfortable around it , not so disgusted like before . But asides his shyness , he avoids you purposely

He has the hots for you and how badass you are , but babe , you are bad , real bad news , and he knows it

Everytime Finney sees you , you are either covered in your own or someone's else blood , smoking or either laughing with a bottle of beer on the streets alone or with a group of aggressive jerks

If you ever get close to Finney to get to know him better , he won't push you away and will be all kind and polite to you , but don't expect him to go after you .

Neither expect him to go to your defense , he might reluctantly help you after a fight if he saw how bad you ended up or lift you up of the ground if you needed to , but that's it , the more you stay out of his life , the better .

He wishes he could help you , but he had enough dealing with his father bad habits , he knows how exhausting and draining people with addictions can be and the suffering that they cause to those around them , he won't voluntary put himself in another situation like that

His heart tells him to go after you and try to help you see other ways , try to heal you , but the same heart along with his mind tells to keep his distance from you for his own good

So he hopes , truly , that one day you stop living that reckless life and find someone who loves you to settle down , because he can't , and won't be your savior

Maybe in the future , or in another life , you two could be together in a healthy relationship , who knows

Finney is satisfied with watching you from afar , because that's the safe thing to do

ROBIN ARELLANO

You are one of the toughest kids in school like Robin and Vance Hopper ( Moose had lost his title after loosing a fight with him ) , so he obviously knew about your existence , and with time , got the pleasure of becoming one of your friends

You were fun to hang out with , you didn't only made him laugh his ass off and go watch adult movies with him ( not porn don't be dirty minded ) , but you also taught him things that he didn't know about ( since you were more street smarter than him , and he was thankful for it )

And of course , Robin found out about your habits really quick

At first , he didn't care about them , you do you he thought , but ... It was so weird to see impressed by something or someone , that he gave it a try , just to see your reaction ..

And that was the start of everything .

And he didn't only did it to add more things to his tough guy reputation , he did it to be seen as cool too and share another bond with you , even it was harmful

What ? There's nothing to be worried about , the cigarettes smoke is something that he's used to and he had tried alcohol before , it's not like he drinks and smokes everyday and can afford it !

The more Robin spent time with you , the more he started to lack responsibility , and he was not a responsible person before .

School didn't matter anymore , the fights increased , the smoker scent was part of him now and he would arrive late to his home drunk as fuck scolded by his uncle and poor worried mom

He tried to stop , didn't do it completely , but tried his best for his family

But then you offered him to try the next level , drugs , those that could make him stronger and stay wide awake , or be more relaxed , if that's what he wanted .

For him it was the crossing line , and for good .

He didn't want to mess with those things , and you mocked him about him for being such a chicken , such a maricón , so you both had an argument , where it clicked him :

You were so far gone that you offered him being even more fucked up than he already was , you give 3 shits about what could possibly happen to him , he understood that in case of needing you , having an overdose or a alcoholic coma , you would minimize it , or worse , make him take more and more until his body couldn't take it anymore

He moved on from you really quick and never tried to contact you ever again , you already showed him your fangs , he isn't stupid as you thought he was to stay and die like a dog ( Even after you threatened him to tell everyone about his cowardice , wich ended in a physical fight that he won , and almost gave you a head contusion from the strength and anger of the attacks )

Robin almost stepped in into the most dangerous and addicting shits that the neighborhood could offer , because of you , and he will never forget that , he will never forget weak and betrayed you made him feel for backing off from it , after trusting you so much with all his being

But the damage was done , he can't quit smoking even if he feels disgusting after it , drinking water or alcohol was the same for him now

A horrible party favor of you and your bad influence in his life .

BRUCE YAMADA

Oh my Lord , you're the cannon event of this guy ...

Bruce met you at a friend's party and he presented you as the " party animal " and " the life of the party " . He had to admit , you were attractive in your way and had some groove on you , dancing with you was a blast

But you were more than just that .

At some point of the night , the music and the people got louder , crazier , it was the best part in Bruce's opinion

The bottles started to go down faster and faster , normally in these parties the drinks had a small amount of alcohol , but this time , they were regular party drinks

Bruce was drunker than usual , giggling while clumsily dancing , you asked him if he wanted to have more fun that he already had and he agreed without thinking twice

So you put the pill in your tongue , wrapped your hands in his neck and passed into his mouth , to give him free pass to fairyland

He felt in heaven , the lights were spinning around more colorful and shinier , the music was now vibrating trough his bones , his body like feather , a new whole sensation washed all over him ...

The party was over , and he didn't saw you again the following weeks , what was on that kiss that made his head spin like a record ? He needed whatever was in your mouth a second time

The next month he had the worst games streak of his life , he couldn't stop losing again and again , and the pressure started to put a heavy weight over him

Bruce needed a miracle , a distraction , so after his extra practice session , he went to another party in the same friend's house , and " lucky " him he found you once again

It was like a deja Vu , both of you danced , laughed and yelled the lyrics of the music , but this time , with him being sober , you offered him to do what happened the last time

And that's how you dragged him to hell with you .

He came back to his old self back again , his winning streak too , taking his team to the victory like he always do , celebrating with you party after party , getting addicted , to you , every single time .

So much energy , yet so much loose of control . He would go out to get more of it outside the parties , sneak at the night when his parents were asleep , starting to believe that if he took them before the games started he would 100 % win for sure

Without warning , you disappeared , and the abstention was driving him crazy . He couldn't concentrate in class , he couldn't grab the bat without feeling a weird itch on his fingers and more times that he could count he had to apologize for feeling "nervous " and being careless with his words . So he asked a friend for some weed to smoke until you showed up your ass to school , but the two got caught and his friend spilled everything to not get suspended

His family found out about it and were so disappointed , mad , yet worried too . They agreed to not tell anyone or send him to an rehabilitation center , but from now on , he had restricted and limited permission to go out and more studying to do ( not like he could call the shots anyway )

It was terrible , but even if what it felt like a eternity for him , in a short time , he fortunately recovered , and started to have much healthier life than before , zero consuming and having innocent fun with a small group of friends

He regrets so much being so careless to the point of doing that bullshit in school with other kids around , letting himself fell so low , but he's glad that he made it out . You never showed up on the town ever again , some rumors says that you are in a juvenile correctional center , others that you were dead , or doing drugs somewhere else

Bruce , without any intention of being mean or cruel , couldn't care less , he moved on from that lifestyle , maybe it wasn't his destiny to stay by your side , maybe , the future has something bigger waiting for him

BILLY SHOWALTER

You two knew each other since you were kids , really good friends that slowly got apart from each other . It wasn't years later that you started to talk with him again on his way back home from school , inviting him to the big parties of the neighborhood or having casual conversations about the weather , exams , latest gossip , etc

You were still you , but something was off , and Billy knew it , although he couldn't tell what exactly changed specifically in you

Until one morning of his regular paper news delivering route he saw you walking bare feet in your party clothes and a black eye . He stopped immediately to ask you what happened , but you couldn't stop laughing and talking non sense

He scrunched his nose when the smell of alcohol hit him coming from your body and mouth , but he sucked it up and walked you home and made sure you got inside , meanwhile giving you a speech about how bad underage drinking is not like you could pay attention to it though

He started to worry about your safety and kept an eye on you to make sure you were ok , but you would dismiss his concern and told him that you were fine , it wasn't that bad , right ?

Billy started to slowly , but surely , parenting you , he had to stop whatever he was doing or delivering in the middle of the rush just to help when you when you were bleeding the hell out of you after a fight , laying on the street passed out drunk or with little clothes when it was cold

It was a never ending cycle , he would take you home , try to persuade you to quit that way of living , you would say yes and then go to a party to get fucked up , and repeat over and over again

Billy thought that it would be a good idea going out with you to the parties to make sure you stayed on line , but oh you made things so difficult ...

You would disappear into the crowd , vomit over someone else's clothes or shoes , drink an entire bottle by yourself and even seek fights for fun

Those times lasted short because he couldn't deal anymore with the embarrassment of apologizing for you to the people in the party for your actions , the frustration of having to argue about something that you both agreed on before , your childish attitudes and getting involved in the middle of starts that you started or someone else's wanted to with you

Then you both had an argument , can't you see ? He's genuinely sad to see his dear friend this shitty , and it angered him how you're not able to understand that it's hurting you , that he's doing everything that he can to keep you safe but it's useless because you search trouble anyway

But you told him to go and fuck off if he was so tired of you .

And exhausting all of this babysitting and chasing of someone that was falling apart uncontrollably , he stopped talking to you .

It hurts him to leave you like this , but he couldn't be your nurse , dad , friend , therapist , driver or anything that had to do with taking care of you after you searched being that way on the first place

He needs for his own mental and emotional health to let you go , but it's not easy , the memory of who you used to be sticks with him , but that person doesn't exist no more , and he can't keep going just for that reason

Sometimes he watches you from afar wondering if you're clean now or still consuming bullshit , but Billy won't ask you , he doesn't have to anymore .

VANCE HOPPER

He doesn't remember how he met you , was at the records store ? At the Gran 'n Go ? A tree lined street ? He doesn't have a fucking clue

But since he got close to you , he didn't found himself to have a lot in common with you , but safe as well , comfortable , finally someone that understands and treats him right !

If only he knew that you are everything but safety ....

You lit cigarettes for him even if Vance didn't told you to , buy beers or Vodka and tell him to take a " sip " , to not be such a pussy , and he will never say no , his fragile masculinity and internalized misogyny didn't let him to do so

Besides , who gives a shit ?

Exactly .... Nobody , you don't either , and that's what matters

Sitting on rooftops or in the sidewalk drinking and laughing your asses off was so great , play who could blow more smoke out of your mouths and throwing bottles as far as you could , sometimes to a moving car or bike for the giggles and adrenaline of running away from the angry owners

Who cares if it makes Vance forget how shitty his life is ? Who cares if he gets a smile from you by doing it ? It's nothing new from him , what changes if he gets more greedy with you ?

One day he found himself cornered by a decision . You wanted to spicy up things before getting ready to go to the AC / DC concert , be more crazy and sniff some angel dust , but ... He never did drugs before , what if he does it wrong and you laugh at him ? What if his body doesn't receive it well and make a mess of him ?

Since you know how to manipulate him with toxic sexism , the only thing that you have to do was say that he had to grow some balls , because even the faggots can do it

And like that , he started to move his head closer to your small living room table where the lines were at , slowly , nervous , his hand shaking except for the one that was pushing one side of his nostrils

Man ... It felt so fucking weird how fast the dust went inside his nose and dissolved like magic in him

But he felt alive ... So alive ... He felt stronger , powerful , he didn't felt like a boy , no , he felt like a man , a man that didn't fear anything or anyone at all , he can fight with his bare hands an entire army if he wanted to !

Poor kid , that searching of ecstasy would take him to a another level wrongness in his life ... You corrupted his already damaged soul and took him to the darkness as well ... Good job .

Fuck off school , fuck off family , friends , the police , the entire country can do it too , now it's you , him , the narcotics , the cigarettes , the alcohol and heavy metal , whoever tries to mess with you both , will be beaten to death

Crime commiting would soon follow the line , but In Vance head there's too much shit to let space for worries , besides , not like you would ever betray him or some shit like that ....

GRIFFIN STAGG

He was eating his lunch alone on the last table of the cafeteria when you sat next to him and started to talk with him like you were all time buddies

Griffin responded cautiously all your questions , did his old bullies remembered he existed and want to pull a prank on him ? Do you want to seal him something or convince him to join one of the school shitty clubs ?

Day after day you would do the same thing . He wasn't sure of your intentions , you had what people called " the crazy eyes " , clothes were near crossing the line of school dress code or falling apart , strange laugh , funny smell ... And you space out a little too much while talking ( a little bit creepy on his opinion )

But you are always nice to him , and you had a really good sense of humor , so he eventually warmed up to you , may or may developing a small crush ...

A cold morning you grabbed his hand to follow you to the bathroom , you were coughing a lot lately , but he thought you catched a cold .... Again

You opened your backpack excited and showed him all the varieties of joints and cigarettes , and since he was your friend , he could had any for free !

Griffin started to panic near having an attack , what if you get caught ? Who is sealing you these things ? Are you a dealer ? Do you want him to buy your stuff ? Or do you want him to give it to other kids !?

You only laughed , like always , and told him to calm down , that you smoke all the time and you're still alive

He couldn't handle it , he ran away out of the school confused about what he'd just saw , is this the reason why you're always coughing ? Is this the reason why your lungs are so screwed up ? Do you hang around with dangerous people ?

Scared , decided to avoid you at all costs .

But you found him after 2 weeks since the last encounter , and told you him that you were sorry , that you didn't meant to scare him away , that he's your best friend and other sweet things that made Griffin feel bad for ignoring you

Did you promised him to stop and change ? Yes

How many times since then ? Enough for a normal person to give up counting

Unluckily for this little guy , time will not never change who you are . He's so , so attached to you that he keeps forgiving you , always believing in your words and fake promises , always following you like a lost puppy worried about your well being

Please stop it , Griffin is tired of looking out for you , he can't guess when or where you're gonna end up the next time to find your vice

#the black phone x reader #the black phone #tbp headcanons #tbp fandom #tbp robin #tbp vance #tbp finney #tbp griffin #bruce yamada #finney blake #robin arellano #vance hopper #billy showalter #griffin stagg

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thrawns-babygirl · 1 year

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Spicy Crosshair HC's

Some random thots I had that I wanted to subject the internet to. I proofread these but let me know if anything doesn't make sense. As usual 18+ Minors DNI!!! let me know what you think and send some asks or messages if there is anything that you wanna read. I'm just screaming into the void at this point because I'm violently horny for fictional men

Warnings: Overstimulation, Praise Kink, Degradation Kink, Weapons Kink, Dom/Sub, Pain Play. I tired to keep it entirely GN so let me know if I slipped up at all.

This first one is basically not even a headcanon its just canon, I think we can all agree that Cross has an oral fixation. He LOVES going down on you. Time and location don’t matter if he can get on his knees for you he absolutely will. Also loves sucking on your nipples or fingers as well, anything he can get his mouth on.

Hardcore Dom Crosshair is hot af, but what about bratty switch Crosshair you have to wrestle submission from? It’s not an all the time thing, and he definitely prefers being the dom in the bedroom, but every now and then he will let you take the reins after making you fight for them and absolutely destroy him until he’s a panting mess on his bunk.

While he’s on top, he absolutely has a praise kink. Hearing how well his cock makes you feel is a drug to him that he cant get enough of. Knowing that he’s the one making you feel so good, pulling all those sounds from you while his hips piston you into next week has him hurling towards his end faster than he would ever admit. When he’s on the bottom however? Absolutely adores being called horrid names. He’s a little slut and he knows it, and he LOVES being reminded of that fact.

Specifics:

Overstimulation: This man absolutely has a superiority/competency complex and will take any chance he gets to remind you of that fact by making you cum more times than you’re physically able to. Gruff whispers of “come on you can give me one more, can’t you?” and “That’s it no one else’s cock can make you feel this good can they? Come on answer me” accompany the drag of his length through your walls. He however, also adores being overstimulated by you. Watching you gag on his cock after he’s already spilled in your mouth while the line between pain and pleasure is blurring is a massive turn on for him.

Masochism: On that note, he loves a bit of pain play. From your nails raking across his scalp or down his back in an intense session, to impact play while he’s the sub for the night, pain makes his cock impossibly harder. Sometimes while you’re seated on top of him you can dig your nails into his chest and feel his cock twitch and throb inside you as you run your nails down his chest leaving thin red lines in their wake.

Weapons/Gun Kink: The most important possession he owns, literally means the difference between life and death for his squad out on the field, its his calling in life, the reason he was created. So watching you get off with it? Grinding on the barrel or having it inside you is a sight he can’t get enough of.

Praise Kink/Degradation Kink: Depending on his mood or the scene, this man either wants to be praised for his magnificent cock and performance or he wants to be told he’s good for nothing other than his cock messing up your insides. It’s a bit of a coin flip on any given day, but a good mix of the two sends him into another dimension of pleasure. He wants to be your perfect living dildo.

#crosshair x reader #crosshair smut #tbb crosshair smut #tbb crosshair #the bad batch crosshair #the bad batch smut #tbb smut #tbb x reader #bad batch crosshair #bad batch smut

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slytherheign · 2 years

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WORTH THE RISK | tasm!peter parker

PART 1/5 OF WORTH: THE SERIES.

PAIRING: tasm!peter parker x fem!reader

WORD COUNT: 3.3k

SUMMARY: there's a new threat in town and spider-man has found himself falling for his roommate. after what happened with gwen, he must decide if it's worth the risk yet again.

WARNINGS: depictions of death, depression, grieving, cursing, and canon-typical injuries. let me know if i missed any warnings. [⚠︎︎RATING: 17+]

AUTHOR'S NOTE: some characters may be ooc. there are a lot of flashbacks-current time switching. you can criticize my writing, but please be nice.

DESTINATION: Angst Avenue | GO TO SERIES MASTERLIST or GO BACK TO THE STATION.

There was trouble looming around town. Peter Parker felt it. He felt it by the way the hair on his body stood up. He felt it by the way the nerves in his body alerted him. He felt it by the way the wind changed its demeanor as he swung through his beloved New York City.

Aside from the common thefts committed by robbers and the fights brought upon by different gangs, crimes in New York City were almost quiet to him. For a couple of years, there was no big threat that needed Spider-Man’s help.

As the friendly neighborhood hero, of course, he still offered his assistance but the police assured him that they can handle them on their own. He appreciated the thought but his love for the city weighed more than the thought of a much-needed rest. He did not like what the police had insisted. Him not saving New York City? Nope. Not gonna happen. Never.

He could still remember the conversation clearly.

"It's not gonna happen. I'm gonna help you," he told them. To which an officer named Carlos replied: "As much as we appreciate you and your assistance, please let us do our job. The people now trust you more than us, which makes a lot of sense because you have saved so many of us, but our reputation for being able of saving them has got to be back on track."

"So what, you don't want me anymore? You know you can't stop me from helping people, right?"

The middle-aged police nodded. "But you gotta understand, Spidey, what's happening now is that the people call you for help first instead of us. If you keep responding to those calls, there may not be a job left for us anymore. Who are we going to save if you already saved them first?"

Peter understood, as he always did. But the mere thought of not doing anything for the city—his city—got him feeling uneasy.

"But–" he started to reason with him but another officer, this time a red-haired british woman named Charlene, raised her hand to stop him from talking any further.

"How about this..." Charlene started. "In the meantime, put your suit down and rest from all of this crime-fighting stuff and let us handle it. And then when there comes a big threat that needs your help, the first thing we'll do is call you."

Carlos agreed, nodding as he went beside Charlene to hold her hand. So they're a married couple, Peter thought.

"Well, can I at least do a little saving and patrol the city every once in a while?" he asked.

The police couple looked at each other before looking back at him. "Fine," Carlos replied. "We can work with that," Charlene continued.

Peter smiled. "Okay cool. We have a deal then."

It has been two years and what Peter has named the "big threat, big help" call has not been made. Which he thought should be a good thing, right? Because it would mean that his beloved city was safe from being destroyed any sooner.

However, as he currently swung through the city for what he deemed was just a little night patrol, something was off and he knew it. He wasn't even finished patrolling the entire city. There were still a lot of places he has not yet checked tonight. He smelled trouble and the ringing from his phone with the police's name as the caller confirmed it.

He stopped at a rooftop of a random building before he answered. "What's going on?" he asked.

"We need your help," Carlos stated, his latino accent laced with fear. "There's been reports of multiple houses being broken into for the past 15 minutes. 1 person has already died and 6 are badly injured and on their way to the hospital. Given the short amount of time and the fact that the houses are beside each other, we believe they all have the same culprit."

"Do you know what this person looks like?"

"The victims are too traumatized to speak, we couldn't get any information out of them. We're now looking at the city cameras–holy shit."

"What?"

"This isn't just a normal person, Spidey. He's green and he looks like a scorpion."

Peter knew he should think about the injured people.

Peter knew he should think about the poor person who has unfortunately died.

Peter knew he should think about the green scorpion-looking criminal.

But the first person he thought about, was you.

The past couple of years for Peter were eventful, to say the least.

After all, after Gwen's tragic death, nothing was the same anymore.

Was it a bad thing or a good thing? Maybe both? He didn't know.

First was the sleepless nights. Every single time he would close his eyes, images of Gwen free falling to her demise plagued his thoughts. It terrified him—how Gwen's eyes reflected acceptance as she looked at him for the last time. Even in her last moments, she understood... and she accepted. It scared him how she embraced death like a long-lost family member.

Peter knew Gwen didn't want him to blame himself. But he couldn't help it, could he? He was given these abilities... to help people, to heal people, to save people... and yet he couldn't save the person he treasured the most. He couldn't save her.

And even then, at the moments where rest finally found its way to his eyes and body, it would be tormented with nightmares. Rest, for him, was never an option.

Second was the loss of interest. Things that brought him joy before and hobbies that he used to enjoy, he didn't care about them anymore. He was simply uninterested.

Sure, Aunt May had been there for him every step of the way, but even she cannot bring him back to feel anymore. He appreciated his aunt for even trying.

Now came the third and hardest part. As if the pain he was in wasn't enough for the gods above to take pity on him—two months after Gwen's demise, Aunt May passed away.

Peter felt horrible. His last two months with her were him being unresponsive. Aunt May had reached out for him but he didn't meet her halfway. She tried so hard to help him, and in some ways she did, but he was too caught up in his own hurt and pain that it did not occur to him that she was also hurting for her nephew. For him.

Now instead of visiting a grave, he had to visit two.

He was in ruins. Everyone he loved the most was gone and he was left to himself. He had no faith. No hope. No everything. None.

Until you came.

He was visiting Gwen for her first death anniversary. Peter couldn't believe it—one whole year since he lost her. Where did time even go?

It was just like the usual, he would sit in front of her grave, talking to her as if she was still living. He would update her on what was happening in his life—a common thing he would do to his aunt's grave as well.

That was when he heard you loudly sniffing from behind his back. Initially, he planned to ignore it to give you some privacy. But the sniffing got louder and your breathing got even slower. He decided to cut his conversation short with Gwen's tombstone, he could do that any other day. You clearly needed comfort, and while he was not obliged to give it to you, something inside him screamed that he should. He sat up from his position and made his way to you.

What he saw was a heartbreaking sight. You sat across the stone, arms desperately clinging to your knees for comfort. You were aware of the new presence beside you, but you couldn't stop crying. It was all just too much. You had just lost your father last year, and now just a month ago, you lost your mother too. You had no siblings or pets, and your friends were on the other side of the world, too busy to visit or even check up on you. You were alone.

Peter crouched down beside you, trying to meet your eyes. And when he finally did, his heart shattered into pieces. You caught his gaze. "I–I'm sorry–" you sniffed. "It's umm... it's my mom's birthday," you pointed at the tombstone in front of you. "Sh–she died a month ago."

That was it. Your broken voice pulled a string in his heart that made him soft for you. He didn't know what gave him the courage, but he sat down from his position beside you and hugged you tightly.

You were surprised at first but appreciated the comfort. The last time someone hugged you was by your mother on her death bed. For the last month, you lasted on your own. No human interactions except the little greetings you exchanged with the people you passed on the street and the people at work. There were only four places your world consisted of: your house, your workplace, the cemetery, and the grocery store.

You clung to his body as if your life depended on it, and maybe in some ways, it actually did. "It's going to be okay," he whispered. "We're gonna get through this together."

We. Together.

Funny how you just met this man and he cared more for you than the people you called your friends. There was something about him that radiated comfort and protection. You knew you should be embarrassed by yourself, you were a broken mess. You probably looked crazy with your hair all tangled and your face streaked with tears that you were sure just messed up his jacket. But you didn't care, you needed him. And unbeknownst to both of you, he needed you just the same.

That night ended with Peter bringing you to his favorite coffee shop. He treated your coffee as you talked about your life and he talked about his.

You learned that it was his past girlfriend who he was visiting at the cemetery. He told you that it was her first death anniversary to which you replied: "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize," he raised the palm of his hand playfully. "It's not like you killed her or anything." he joked.

You laughed with him before moving on to a new topic. You told him about your parents, how your father died from a car crash years ago and how your mother died because of cancer. Was it too early to tell him the heaviest life issues you mostly kept to yourself? You didn't know. But you were at ease when you were in his presence. Maybe that's why you couldn't stop talking the moment he started the conversation.

He told you about his aunt as well. Who died so suddenly after merely two months of his girlfriend's passing. You were so easy to talk to. He almost told you everything about him. Almost. There was a reason why he left out the reason behind Gwen's death—you didn't need to know about the double life he's living. So he left out everything that related to the web-slinging hero.

You were so caught up with each other that it didn't even occur to both of you that two hours have passed until a staff went to your table to inform you that the shop was closing.

You and Peter left the shop afterwards. He insisted to walk you home since it was pretty late at night and he knew just how the night wasn't safe for people, especially for women. You agreed, mentioning that the house was actually your family's but since your parents had died, it was all yours now.

"We're here," you informed him. "So... uh–" you looked down as you played with your fingers. Peter looked at you the entire time.

You met his eyes. "Thank you. For everything. I–I hope this isn't the last time we'll see each other."

"Of course," he smiled.

You hugged him. How the hell did that even happen? You had no idea. You practically just ran to his arms and hugged him. Peter didn't mind though. And if he was being honest, he enjoyed hugging you as well. "See you soon," he added. He didn't leave until you were inside and waved at him from the window.

Maybe this is why the world brought the two of you together. Two broken people who needed healing, ready to heal each other.

His visits became a weekly thing. Every Saturday, he would visit you and you would go to his—and now your own as well—favorite coffee shop. One time you mentioned that you were thinking of moving to a new apartment, the memories that came with your family house were becoming too much to bear. You needed time away from it in order to fully move on. Besides, it was getting lonely. Having a roommate would also be nice. When he asked you what would happen to your house, you told him that you would still visit it once in a while to clean and maintain it.

Peter, like the absolute genius that he was, had an idea.

"What if you move in with me?" he mused.

Your eyes widened by the sudden offer. You looked at him as he stared at you waiting for your answer.

"Be roommates with me?" he asked once again.

You thought hard about the idea.

Peter needed a new start and you needed company. This was shooting two birds with one stone. There was no need for choosing. The choice was already obvious.

You smirked, putting your hand out for him to shake. "Deal."

Before Peter took his way to the police station, he made sure to swing by the apartment the two of you shared to check on you.

You were on the couch sleeping while The Notebook was paused on the television. Tonight was movie night. A tradition you both made to follow every Thursday. An hour ago, he was just cuddling you while watching the film. It was peaceful...

Until he sensed something off.

He couldn't just leave you there, but he also couldn't ignore the nagging trouble he was sensing.

He had to at least swing by the city and check.

He didn't know what to do.

He had to find an excuse, and he had to do it quick.

Luckily, you did it for him.

"You know, for some reason, I'm really craving for some donuts right now," you blurted out.

Peter immediately agreed. "You know what? Let me buy some. I promise I'll be back before you know it," he stood up quickly. "And hey–" he jokingly pointed a finger. "Don't you dare finish the movie without me."

"Noted," you chuckled, grabbing the remote and pausing the film.

He went back to his bedroom to get his backpack before leaving the apartment, smiling as he closed the door.

You had no idea what he needed his backpack for when he was just going to buy some donuts, but you paid it no mind. He probably just wasn't used to getting out without the bag on his back.

Peter, clad in his Spider-Man suit, observed you from afar.

You looked so peaceful in contrast to the chaos that was currently happening outside. And even in moments of deep slumber, you still looked so beautiful.

He realized you fell asleep waiting on him.

He had promised to be back soon. Yet another promise he had to break.

He felt guilty, but it must be done.

There was no time, Peter reminded himself. And so he continued his way to the police station with one thing on his mind.

He needed to protect you.

"Oh thank God, you're here," Charlene breathed in relief. "Here–look at this," she gestured for him to follow her into the room where the city cameras resided. She pointed at one of the screens. "This is what he looks like."

"Do we know where he is now? I could swing through the city and find him." Peter insisted.

"No, we need you here," she replied.

"No offense, but I don't think I should be in here right now. He could still be out there."

"That's the thing–he's gone," Charlene admitted. She nodded at Carlos who just entered the room.

"What?"

"We already sent all our teams. They say he's gone."

"It's like he just disappeared," Carlos commented.

Peter thought hard about what was happening. "No," he gritted his teeth. "He wanted attention. My attention. And he wreaked havoc just to get it."

"But why?" Carlos asked.

Charlene answered for him. "To create chaos. Come to think of it, for the last two years, there was no big threat to the city. Even Spider-Man..." she glanced at Peter. "Laid low."

Peter agreed. "Some people hate the quiet. And they would do everything to bring back the noise and destruction again."

"What will we do now?" Charlene looked at him, waiting for an order as more officers came into the room.

"I'll do patrols as I always do, but this time every day and night. You check the cameras at all times and install some more around the city. Continue sending your teams to patrol as well. Inform the medical facilities—tell them to prepare for a possible surge of injured people. Don't lack on communication, inform and update each other, and..."

Peter looked around the people in the room. "If you see anything suspicious, you know how to call me."

Peter left without another word. The situation was more dangerous than he thought and he planned to get to you as fast as possible. He made a promise to himself that he will keep you safe no matter what it takes.

He found himself knocking on your shared apartment’s window. He saw you slowly stand up from the couch, lazily wiping the sleep off of yourself.

You were confused for a moment, wondering who could be knocking at your apartment at this time—it was coming from the window too.

Surprised would be an understatement for your reaction when you opened up the curtains and saw the Spider-Man in your window. With wide eyes and an open mouth you had to close, you opened the window and let the hero inside.

"Wha—" you stuttered.

"Watch the news," he ordered.

You were confused but nonetheless followed his order. He sounded serious. And when Spider-Man was giving you orders in your living room, you gotta follow them.

"Just an hour ago, a green scorpion-looking identity was reported breaking into multiple houses causing a casualty and 6 badly injured people. We have no report as to where he is right now but the police and Spider-Man are currently in the process of capturing the criminal. Be careful out there, and wish our protectors luck," the reporter informed.

You were fully awake at this point. Not knowing what to do, you looked over the hero who was already looking at you.

Suddenly, you remembered Peter. Surely, it wouldn't take that long to buy some donuts? He was not yet back. And with a killer on the loose, you were getting more worried each passing second.

"Oh god, m-my friend–he's still out there," you started shaking and pacing.

"Peter," Spider-Man replied. You immediately stopped pacing and looked at him so fast you thought it would break your neck. "You know him? Peter?" you asked with hope.

He noticed the worry that hugged your face. He wanted to hug you, tell you that he's Peter and that he loves you when he remembered a promise he made.

To protect you.

Two graves were enough.

Trouble was attached to him. Wherever he went, it followed him.

No matter what it takes.

It was now or never.

So he did what he thought was best to protect you.

"Peter Parker is dead."

He pretended he was dead.

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