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bumblequinn · 6 months

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hi @sourpatchsquids! thank you for your question.

as an artist with ADHD, i know this struggle very well. unfortunately offering advice on this kind of thing can be tricky, because what works for me may not work for you (and vice versa!). nonetheless, i can try; take whatever works for you, forget the rest, or reshape any part of it as you see fit. :)

but before i offer any actual tools, i have one caveat. i want you to take a moment to reflect and consider if you should be:

changing expectations

the timing of this question seems fated, because just the other day i had a therapy session wherein i expressed my grief and frustration over struggling to work lately due to my seasonal depression. it's not fair that i'm struggling just because it got a little darker outside! i just want the spark i had in the summer! i was so much more consistent!

my therapist's response: nothing about human beings is consistent. we get sick, we get tired, we get hungry and thirsty (and thirsty) and sad and lonely and restless and stressed and overwhelmed. this all gets amplified for folks who are atypical in some way or another.

when my therapist compared our seasonal cycles to those of plants and other animals, who wilt and slow down and hibernate, i protested aloud that i wanted to be a perennial instead. at this she said: even perennials change with the seasons. rose bushes have to be pruned, sometimes down to half their height! it was a dose of perspective i didn't particularly want, but really needed.

so when you're struggling to work through executive dysfunction, burnout, or brain fog, it can help to first check in with yourself about a few things. what do you have the capacity for right now? do you need any accommodation? and if so, what changes you might make to accommodate yourself?

with practice and self reflection, i've learned a handful of specific routines that help me when i'm struggling with creative work, which i'll detail next. note that while your question is specifically about music and i am specifically a musician, i believe that all of these suggestions can apply to most any form of digital creative work.

with that in mind:

#1: work slower

when i'm at the top of my game, i can get a LOT done in a day. but when i'm depressed, fatigued, or distracted, i just can't go full steam. sometimes i'll try to convince myself that i can if i just push harder, but what actually ends up happening is that i'm just fiddling with settings and going in circles rather than moving forward.

instead of that, when i want to work a lot but can't, i try to work slow. how slow? however slow i need to. take four hours to figure out the melody for a single verse. take all day to figure out that drum groove. yeah, i take a lot of breaks in between. who says i have to be my Absolute Most Productive Every Day Or Else? that's the puritan work ethic talking. kill it. be kind to yourself.

i'm reminded of advice i once read about some super successful and prolific author (gaiman? king? pratchett?) who said they wrote only four hundred words every weekday. that's already less than the word count of this post, and i'm only—[travels into the future to check my final word count]... 22.8% of the way through writing it!

now, i don't think i could function that way, because ADHD means some days i'm hyperfocused like crazy, and other days i just have no steam at all (more on that in #4-6). but it seems to me that if even someone highly respected in their profession can achieve what they have with only a little bit of work on a regular basis, maybe i don't have to punish myself for not pumping out a finished work every single week.

doing less work per day means you're much less likely to burn out, which does a lot for working more consistently. if that consistency still doesn't look like a five-day work week, that's okay! as long as it helps you work even a little more often when you want to, it's something worth doing.

however, if you're still feeling truly stuck, all hope isn't lost. you can still try:

#2: switch projects

sometimes the reason i'm moving slow is because of a bad brain day, but sometimes the reason is that i just cannot muster the motivation to do the specific task i'm trying to do right now. ADHD is fueled by novelty and interest, and if i'm not interested in what i'm doing, or it's feeling stale, that's a sign that i need to switch gears.

this is why first it's helpful for me to have more than one project going at a time. this might mean completely unrelated works, or it might just mean related tracks as with the music for a game like SLARPG or susan taxpayer.

the idea here is not to start a dozen different projects and bounce around them like i'm playing whac-a-mole—though i have done that. (i don't recommend it.) the idea here is to have a manageable number of different projects i can be working on so that if i get bored or stuck on something, i have fallback options.

what that number of projects is depends entirely on the week. maybe right now it's two, maybe another time it's three. i would probably be getting carried away if i tried more than that, but that's just my own limit. maybe yours is different. that's something for you to think about.

but it doesn't have to stop there.

#3: switch focus

maybe there is this one project that i just HAVE to work on, but the task i'm trying to do at this stage just isn't coming to me. okay, well, why don't i try working on a different task?

let's say i can't figure out what i want to do with the melody in one part of the song:

what if i try jumping ahead to a different part of the melody? ...no, i'm stumped on melodies today. okay, how about working on the drums instead? ...hmm no, i think i'm just completely tapped out on writing parts right now. alright, what if i organized my tracks, making sure they're all grouped and named in a way that i can work with easily? what if i did a rough volume balance for the mix?

and so on. if that's not enough to shake the off stuckness, i might consider: what can i do to make this project more interesting to me?

what happens if i try using an instrument or effect that i almost never reach for? what if i try sampling something obscure? what if i bang out the drums using my midi keyboard instead of drawing it in on the piano roll?

any approach that breaks me out of my usual habits is bound to get that feeling of novelty and fun back when i need it.

or maybe i can't do any of that right now, and so i take the time to answer a question from a fellow musician instead. i consider that part of my work, too, in a broader sense. check in with yourself and figure out what you can do right now. the rest will still be there later.

but okay, let's say you try switching gears, and switching again, and again, and nothing is moving. you try new approaches, but that wall of awful is insurmountable in this moment. it happens! the next thing you might try is:

#4: learn something new

when you aren't able to make progress on your projects, you can still make progress on your knowledge and craft. i often find this stokes a flame of inspiration in me where there wasn't one before. and even when it doesn't, it still gets my brain out of that feeling of stuckness and dread and into one of thought and action. learning also benefits in the long term because it adds to the well of knowledge from which you draw for all your future works.

for all the awfulness that exists on the internet, it remains an absolute treasure trove of teaching. there's an endless ocean of videos, blog posts, and articles from which you might learn something about your craft. (and if you sail the seven seas, plenty of book PDFs as well. 🦜🏴‍☠️)

it's true that the quality and depth of information out there can vary wildly, but in my experience most resources get at least some things right. and the more you research, practice, and figure out what works for you, the better you will learn to differentiate between the advice worth keeping, and the advice to forget. (that goes for all of what i'm saying here, too!)

that said, since our shared focus is music, a few resources i would highly recommend are:

music theory and composition music matters, 12tone, charles cornell, music with myles, 8-bit music theory, and this introduction by andrew huang

mixing and production dan worrall (especially this series for fabfilter), kush after hours, red means recording, andrew huang, alice yalcin efe, in the mix

general inspiration nahre sol, ben levin, david hilowitz, game score fanfare, posy, jerobeam fenderson, open reel ensemble, and ELECTRONICOS FANTASTICOS!

(if any readers have their own helpful resources for creating music or any other media, feel free to share in the replies & reblogs! 💓)

of course, on an especially bad day, it might be a challenge to seek out information, let alone retain it. that can feel pretty bad, but remember: be kind to yourself. the next thing you might consider trying is:

#5: consume art you love

not just music. books. shows. movies. games. illustration. animation. whatever moves and inspires you.

but do it intentionally. don't just pull up some random thing the algorithm suggested! check in with yourself about what you want (or are able) to engage with right now. choose accordingly. if you get a little way into it and realize it's not scratching that itch, hit the bricks. check in with yourself again. wash, rinse, repeat, until you find whatever it is that speaks to you right now.

and do it actively, if you can. don't just let it go in one eye and out the other! really pay attention to the work. what do you like about it? what are its themes and motifs? what makes it work so well? what are its flaws, and how much do they matter? what might you do differently? you can write notes as you do this if it helps, but even simply noticing and thinking goes a long way.

what you don't want to do is come at this with a lens of shame or envy. you're not here just to say to yourself, "ugh, if only i could do THAT." it's okay if it happens. use that thought as a springboard for curiosity: "well okay, how DID they do that? do i have the resources for it? if so, how could i apply that to my own work? if not, how can i adapt it, or what do i need to learn?" keep your mind open and approach the work with a sense of wonder.

as a creative person, it's very easy to think, "i should be making something right now, not watching a movie!" but that thought forgets something vital: your art is a response in a conversation. of course the "language" you use is your own, and maybe if you're lucky you'll invent a new word. but most of the words you use have been around long before you were born. you're just one voice in a dialogue that spans continents and generations, and that's okay. it's even the whole point.

none of us is an island. we are profoundly social animals. just as we can't live without eating, we can't make without learning. so half of making art is consuming it. consider this part of the process as well.

and finally,

#6: rest, and live your life

let's say you're in really dire straits. you've tried working slower. you tried changing focus, you tried changing projects. you want to take in new information or actively engage with your favorite art, but you're not in the headspace for it. what now?

take a nap. take a walk. take a shower. eat a nice meal, or an okay one. talk to a friend. maybe even do that chore you've been putting off (you know the one).

it's human to always crave making, but you're not a machine—and even if you were, machines need regular maintenance, too! you wouldn't drive a car that's completely out of gas, and you won't do yourself any favors treating your body that way either.

i know that when you take a break it feels as though you're not accomplishing anything, but you are: you're taking care of your animal self. and while you do that, your creative brain doesn't stop working! much like windows, it has countless background processes running at any given moment, with inscrutable names like "cbdhsvc_692da" or "Microsoft Edge Update Service." it's true, i checked.

when you're stuck on a project and you step away to rest, your brain is still chipping away at your ideas unconsciously. i like to tell people, "it's percolating." much like waiting for a pot of water to boil, that idea is still heating up, even when you take a step away. just be sure to check in on it once in a while. the time will pass, and it'll be boiling again before long. :)

before i go, i'll leave you with one last thing to keep in mind as you try all of these strategies:

be kind to yourself.

being human is just about one of the hardest things you can do. let alone being a human trying to survive capitalism while living with disabilities! the last thing you need on top of that is to overwork yourself, talk to yourself negatively, or treat yourself harshly. there are plenty of other people in the world who do that to you—don't be one of them.

i'm not saying that you shouldn't try to challenge yourself, to test your limits and go above and beyond your ambitions, if that's what you want to do. just remember that hard work and self compassion are not mutually exclusive. so be careful not to bully yourself. take pride in the progress you make, even when it seems small. encourage yourself like you would a friend who's going through a hard time. and when you challenge yourself, be your own cheerleader.

i hope you find this advice helpful! remember, this is just what helps me, so don't feel like you have to follow any of it exactly. maybe taking time to learn new information helps break you out of your rut more than working slowly, so you reach for that tool first. maybe having multiple projects going at once is too distracting for you, so you prefer to stick to one at a time. whatever your needs are, feel free to alter and adapt these ideas to fit you.

thank you for reading, and i wish you the best of luck in your creating.

with care, bee 🐦

#adhd #advice #asks #from #sourpatchsquids

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norrizzandpia · 7 months

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hey bestiee!!

I wanted to request femxreader who’s having trouble with sleep and calls lando when he’s away because she misses him so much

thanksss🧡

I NEED HIM ON SPEED DIAL.

What Are You Doing Up? (LN4)

Summary: She can’t go to sleep when he isn’t there.

Warnings: again, arguably the cutest thing ive ever written

Her eyes felt as if they had been glued open as she stared up at the ceiling. Nothing seemed to work. No amount of tea or medicine could get her body to relax and give into the sleep she so desperately wanted and needed.

The one thing she hadn’t tried and the one thing she really didn’t want to bother was the one thing she knew would actually work.

Lando.

Her boyfriend had become the expert on getting her back to sleep on nights when she was too fidgety or energized to lay down and stay still. His quiet whispers could easily make her drowsy and his soft hands roaming her skin never once failed to make her eyes droop. Whether it was the fact she found his presence calming or he was just the insomniac-whisperer, she didn’t know.

Nevertheless, on nights when he wasn’t there to find her up and walking around the kitchen in search of something to do, she had to try and get herself back to sleep on her own. Usually, she could do it. It would take hours and hard work, but she could get to sleep eventually. However, now, as she glanced at the clock and it read 4:30 AM, she realized calling Lando was inevitable.

Part of her brain knew he was the last resort, but the other was relieved to hear his voice because, God, did she miss him.

His race weekends had been going phenomenally and she was immensely proud of him, but she couldn’t get over seeing him on screen and wishing he was beside her.

No amount of phone calls, facetimes, voice notes, or text messages could cure the overwhelming yearning she harbored for the man in her life.

Her thumb hesitantly hovered over his contact, doubting at the last moment if she should really disturb him. But wanting sleep and her boyfriend trumped any second thoughts as she let out a breath and clicked his number.

The number rang for a few seconds before she heard shuffling, a rushed “give me one moment”, and then his voice.

“Y/n? What’s going on, baby? Isn’t it like-” A pause told her he was checking the time, “4:30 in the morning over there?”

She nodded, letting out a sigh before responding, “Yes,”

The exhaustion was evident and thick in her voice as it dawned on Lando why his girlfriend had called him when it was the crack of dawn for her.

“You can’t sleep,” He whispered, disappointment and empathy for her.

She had been so busy the few days before without much sleep that her walls began to fall down, tears rising in her eyes as she wished for any kind of rest.

“I can’t sleep,” She repeated, choked sounds escaping her throat as she willed for his support.

“Aw, baby, I’m so sorry. What can I do, love?” He said, moving to a more secluded corner as to gain privacy to speak to her freely.

She shook her head, fingers coming to pinch her nose, “I don’t know. Just talk to me about your day. Maybe that’ll help me calm down.”

“Okay, okay, I can do that.” He whispered lovingly, feeling heartbroken he couldn’t be there to help her through this.

She set the phone beside her ear, blankets up to her chin as he began.

“Well, it’s around 7:30 PM here in Vegas and I was just talking to Oscar and the engineers about going to get some dinner. Testing went really well today and the car is super quick. Baby, it’s going to be such a great race. I’m really hopeful. Anyway, I had a really good workout this morning too. Things are just going really well, honestly, with the team and Oscar. 1-2 is looking not as impossible now which is crazy, baby. And!” He exclaimed, getting excited as he rambled, “And I got to try In-n-Out! Remember that really big burger chain I was telling you about? It’s so fucking popular here and it’s not anywhere else except the west coast of the U.S? Yeah! I got to try it and, no doubt, baby, it was so fucking good. Genuinely, some of the best fast food I’ve ever had. We have to come back to the west coast over holiday, so I can show you it and all the other weird things Americans do. How does that sound, baby?”

Lando was met with silence to his question, thinking she hated the idea, until his ears heard soft, rhythmic sighs on the other line. His heart swelled at the infamous noises of her having dosed off. He loved the fact that he was the only person to be able to get her back to sleep, but also despised it during times like these when she failed to let him know of her problems until the last minute. He wished he could make her understand that any call from her was never going to be a disruption or annoyance.

He would always be overjoyed to hear from her, whether that was with bad or good news.

Nevertheless, he listened to her breathing for a few minutes, wanting to make sure she stayed asleep and didn’t need anymore of his help. When he was sure of her state, he whispered to the woman he knew couldn’t hear him, “I love you so much, my love. Glad I could help.”

He didn’t care that she couldn’t comprehend his words, saying it because, even when she was asleep, she deserved to hear how much he cared about her.

Hanging up the phone and waving off his team behind him who was rushing him as they so desperately wanted to go get food, Lando sent her a quick text.

Lan 🧡

Next time, call me the second you start struggling to fall asleep. I’m always here for you, beautiful. Call me when you wake up xx

#f1 fanfic #f1 imagine #f1 fic #f1 x reader #mclaren #lando norris x reader #lando norris imagine #lando norris fanfic #lando norris fluff #lando norris imagines #lando norris fanfiction #lando norris #lando norris smut #lando norris fic #lando norris edit #lando norris x you

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roxineedstosleep · 3 months

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Could you do a snippet for yandere platonic Batfam where reader accidentally gets hurt and is able to hide it for a few days until someone (May be Dick?) finds it and asks / gets upset about it? Love your writing!!! ♥️♥️♥️♥️

Hi there!!!

First of all: Thank you sweetie!

It's been a while since I've written, mostly because of the university, I'm about to graduate and I'm crazy because I'm approaching my final exams (I even have to defend my research work to be able to get my bachelor's degree)!

But, I got to thinking a bit about what you have written above… and even more so because I myself am a little bit crashed after my last film shoot for my final year of my degree. And can I just say that being in a bad way and having to hide it is terrible.

So… here goes!

(I'm sorry if I sound a bit comical in this writing, but I think the best way to get over something is to laugh at yourself a bit so you don't think about the pain too much; I hope you enjoy it anyway.)

Disclaimer: I don't know if you've noticed, but English is not my native/mother tongue. Occasionally, when I think too much, I write them in my language and then translate it in a trusted translator. So, if there's a grammatical problem or a strange term, it's the translator's fault.

Let's face it… having a large family is terribly exhausting.

It's never quiet enough, everyone is in everyone else's business, you can't leave your favorite mermelade in the fridge for less than a day. Someone is always occupying the bathroom or using your favorite shampoo or watching something on TV at too much volume and someone is probably occupying your bed at nap time.

Did I mention about meddling too much in other people's business? Yes? Well… triple it.

Having multiple siblings was new.

Having multiple siblings, a father and a butler/grandfather isn't exactly bread and butter either.

It wouldn't be so bad to belong to a large and numerous one if it was your blood family and you had lived with them all your life. I mean, sometimes blood is too thick and you have no choice but to learn to love them or just be nice to each other.

Like I said, it wouldn't be so bad if they were really your family.

But the Waynes were not your family. Not distant relatives or anything like that.

You were just living your life, as quietly as possible… and poof!

New room, new butler/grandfather, pets beyond belief, 4 new male siblings and a father with serious emotional constipation issues. And, to add more salt to your wound…. all have serious abandonment issues and death-related trauma.

After several escape attempts, sleep strikes, hunger strikes and any other kind of protest that an anarchist could be proud of… you realized that it was simply impossible to get out of this without risking the path of death.

Which, to top it all off, was also unreliable because apparently your older brother Jason had revived as well as another of your siblings. So no, dying was also not a viable option to which one could resort in the worst case scenario.

What to do?

Well, not much. Trying not to die of suffocation of affection or finding a way to have privacy while going to the bathroom just seemed to be the best survival tools you could resort to.

What does that entail?

It implies that Tim was going to give you hours and hours of lectures on his latest discovery of a case, even if you don't understand half the things he's told you or mentioned at all.

Richard and Damian trying to teach you new tricks almost every second, taking you to the Zoo or not leaving you alone to go to the bathroom.

That Jason, oh holy cow he is the only one more relaxed, takes you with him on his motorcycle to eat ice cream and to the public library. Without being able to scape, because it seems that you have a kind of GPS inserted in the bone marrow.

(Sometimes you don't know if it's true or not, but sometimes you also felt pain between your bones, almost during the cold seasons, and you didn't want to burst your poor little head thinking of different viable possibilities knowing them. No scars, no remembering anythins about any surgery).

Have a grandfather who will not hesitate to make you cookies, your favorite foods whenever you want … without leaving you aside at any time.

Plus a terribly quiet father, who if he can will carry you for as long as you spend time together, won't let you near the secret basement and enjoys being in the same room with you.

Do you see any privacy in this?

No, because even at the bathroom door would be the pets trying to get in and see you for themselves while you want to do your business.

The worst of that? Titus always judge you when you close the curtains.

As I mentioned and it was clear: Having a large family implies little privacy… Having a large, obsessive family means NO privacy.

So, knowing that you have over 50 nanochips tracking in all your clothes, two security monitors embedded - God knows how - in your body (monitors that only tell you if you are in designated safe place), 20 high definition surveillance cameras in every room and a Great Dane chasing you like a chick …. How the heck do you fall down the stairs and hit your pelvic bone without anyone noticing?

No kidding, how?

And if you had to blame someone for your fall… you'd totally blame Damian for it.

It's not that the kid pushed you down the stairs, but over time he had tamed himself into various things and relaxed into looking his age. You know!!! He started acting like a normal teenager!

What do Damian's kids do at his age? Well, they leave things lying around and have messing around them when they can, of course they do!

You just wanted some yogurt with orange marmalade. Maybe some oatmeal cookies. Alfred had left it for you in the fridge when he noticed you'd been watching video tutorials on homemade marmalade for hours. Who were you to deny such a gesture of generosity?

I mean, Alfred was the one who allowed you to hide in the attic for hours on end so you could have some time to yourself.

And how did it end? You, slipping down the main stairs of the old Wayne mansion, down a nicely polished wooden staircase, rolling all the way down (which is no small flight of stairs, it should be noted) to the bottom of the first floor.

Now, lying on the ground is not so bad in itself. What is bad is not being able to feel your legs and still not being able to understand how you manage to tidy up your neural wiring so that your legs can still move on their own and go to the kitchen to rescue all the delicacies Alfred left you in time.

And it's a good thing you managed to do it… because within seconds Bart had rushed in to ransack the fridge and the fruit basket.

But that's not the point.

The important thing is that this time you managed, I insist a little on the feat of action, to climb up to your room and not notice how you couldn't really feel your legs.

You ate, you lay down… and to your bad or good luck, you couldn't get up …. and without anyone noticing there was an emergency and everyone went out to sort it out.

Weak limbs, limited movement and you don't want to mention the embarrassing actions you did in order to go to the toilet.

It's not like you hid it either, I mean, there was no one who could even notice because they weren't entirely available to watch you. Nor is it that you would have run away, otherwise they would have been at your side in less than a second.

The detail, as they insist, is that you had probably bruised your back badly and your body was now taxing you extra for your food craving.

I insist, you did not hide anything.

But still, when you're found completely itchy on the floor, ridiculously trying to run away in the direction of the bathroom… that's when everyone really goes crazy.

First, having to carry you and not dying of embarrassment when you notice that Bruce definitely doesn't give a damn about having to carry you to the bathroom and do almost everything for you.

Or having Dick and Jason carry you and fit you into some kind of weird medical scanner they have in the cave.

Or that Tim keeps track of your periods, types of meds you take and, for fuck's sake, knows how the fuck to inject something into your spine.

Or that Damian had the gall to look a little embarrassed when he heard that a pair of boxers lying outside the laundry basket was to blame for all this.

NO matter.

At the end of the day they heal you, pamper you, leave you alone when you need to take a nap and figure out a way to fix it without looking like complete maniacs who built some kind of internal plumbing that sucks up the dirty laundry and throws it straight into the washing machine.

Like the time they didn't look like maniacs by sanding all the edges of the tables and nightstands.

Or the time they bought a whole brand of sanitary towels when they realised that not all women use tampons.

Don't worry, they're looking out for you… even if they look like deranged Arkhan freaks in the process.

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pupcuck · 3 months

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BEEP !

ft. leon s. kennedy x fem!reader

tags. ddlg, pacifier, cockwarming, p in v, fluffy smut, implied age gap, icky ddlg stuff .. like yk

note. we r trying this again.. tags didn’t work last time bc tumblr hates me :( commission 4 the loveliest sweetest ever @miss-oranje-disco-dancer :3 !!! THANK U SM FOR THE COMM love u with all my heart hope u enjoy this and that there are no mistakes… if u would like to commission or tip me the info is in my pinned :3

Leon hears you before he sees you. There is one sound that grates on him and another that makes his dick as hard as it can get. At least, his brain is telling him he should be hard, and he knows he should be, but his dick is crazy stubborn. Stubborn is his way of describing it, his doctor calls it an erectile dysfunction. Not true. His dick functions when it wants to function, okay?

Taking Viagra is optional these days, shit don’t work for him no more. He takes it for fun, reminiscing on the good ol’ days when his dick got hard from the way the wind blew. It doesn’t work so it’s redundant and Leon has started to think he just likes popping pills. Makes him feel twenty-seven and hot. He’s Viagra-resistant. Like Super Gonorrhoea is to antibiotics.

The squeak of your teeth against the rubbery nub of your pacifier is a delight. All the blood in his brain rushes south like a crew scrambling to raise the masts on a ship, it has nowhere to go though, no dick to raise. You've unlocked a new level of excitement within Leon, instead of boners he gets blood clots. How cute. Really, that’s so fun, ain’t it?

The beep! of that goddamn plastic scanner, however, is not welcome in this house. Especially not in his home office turned place of refuge. Leon swears to God he’s developed misophonia. As your daddy, that kind of behaviour is unacceptable, he shouldn't be swearing at all, but this is Leon speaking, not daddy. Daddy is a saint, Leon is pissed off. He only wanted to do something nice for his baby. Nothing ever works out in his favour, he must’ve been born under an unlucky star, or walked under a lot of ladders, crossed one too many black cats.

That one good deed backfired, and now he would rather— Oh, shit.

“Uh-oh,” you mumble, the start of a cheeky grin lining your face. The pacifier muffles your words, it’s plain pink and heart-shaped like your ass. ‘Cause you’re a tasteful little thing. No excessive prints, no lettering that reads Daddy's Girl ♥︎ which Leon had perversely hoped for you to choose.

Uh-oh indeed. He has filled out an entire (probably) super important form in a pink gel pen. Not just any pink gel pen, a strawberry-scented, glittery pink gel pen.

“What did daddy say about this, baby?” Leon asks, and he’s trying to be serious, but god are you cute, and since when has he cared about work? Hunnigan will give him an earful, he wishes for a mouthful, that he’ll ignore because Leon is so kind. He cares so much about saving the world and whatnot.

(Paperwork doesn’t save the world anyway, he saves it periodically, she should cut him some slack.)

“You can’t come into daddy’s office when he’s not home.” That’s a rule. Written on a Miffy notepad in, you guessed it, pink glitter gel pen. A combined effort to revamp the Ten Commandments. Rule number five - Thou shalt not enter Daddy’s place of labour. God, he should do stand-up.

You shrug, pointing at your pacifier in an act of defiance. The scanner remains gripped tightly in your hand, and he can tell you’re itching to make it beep! once more.

Leon hooks his finger in the curved handle of your pacifier, there’s resistance, you hold onto it, clamped down on the nub— He tickles your tummy and out it pops.

“Not fair!” You wipe the spit from your chin on your sleeve. A pout forming at the injustice of it all.

“You can’t come into daddy’s office when he’s not home,” he repeats, “I think you should apologise to Daddy.”

Slowly, you turn around to bare your ass to him, the panties you’re wearing have an oversized bow sewn to the back of them. The fabric is slightly wrinkled from where you’ve been sitting and playing, he smooths it out.

Leon’s never seen these before, they look expensive, silk not cotton. He reminds himself to check his bank account when you leave. He’ll forget until he sees you wearing an even nicer pair later on in the week. The cycle repeats. You are living one lavish life off a civil servant’s salary.

“You’re too big for spankings, aren’t you, big girl?” Leon’s hands are gentle on your hips, he turns you back around. “Big girls say sorry.”

Petulance comes and goes. You’re a good girl at heart, bottom lip quivering when you lurch forward to sit in his lap. “Sorry, Daddy,” you sniffle.

“Aw, baby,” he coos. “It’s okay, daddy isn’t—“

Beep!

You scanned his dick. Good one. Sneaky little thing. He oughta go back on his words and spank you raw.

“You think you’re funny, huh, little lady?” Leon huffs out a laugh, and you nod while giggling. So proud of yourself. “Alright, get outta here.” He stands you up, but you crawl under his desk like a pet. The cutest little bedbug in all of history. Leon would never call pest control on you. Pinky swear.

The scanner sits by his feet, and you rest your head on his thigh, watching him work idly. Then you grow bored, naughty hands making their way up his legs. In one swift motion, you tug the front of his sweats down, his flaccid cock drops onto his thigh. Limp and sad. It’s ugly like this, Leon is more than a little ashamed. So… So not dick-like. Innocuous. Harmless.

(Not that his dick was causing any harm before, maybe to your cervix, but never on purpose. Only ‘cause you asked him to fuck you like that. His little lady wants it rough.)

To put it simply, shit looks like a fucking worm. You bat at his cock like a kitten, tongue sticking out to lick over the half-hidden tip.

“Okay,” Leon says. This is happening.

“Mmph…” You engulf the tip in your warm mouth, suckling like you do your pacifier, there’s the slightest scrape of teeth, Leon doesn’t mind.

“That sending you to sleep, cutie?” Leon pats your head as you blink up at him sleepily. He wants to take you to work with him. Let you set up your toys beneath his desk, hand you a juice box, a fruit snack, his cock at your will. Put it in your mouth, jerk him off, sit on it. Yeah. Sounds like a dream. That should be his treat for all the world-saving he does. No bonus, just a Bring Your Girlfriend to Work Day. Bring Your Girlfriend to Work and Engage in Public Sex With Her Everyday. That’s more like it.

Who else is going to warm his cock when it’s feeling all alone? Hunnigan most certainly won’t. And he might’ve wanted that before, but Leon S. Kennedy has been domesticated, and the only mouth he wants on his dick is yours. You do a damn good job at it. Treat his dick so well, that soft fuck don’t deserve it.

You pull off of his cock with a slurp. The drool pooling in your mouth dribbles down your chin, you use his sweats as a napkin, rubbing your face into the fabric to clean yourself up. Your mess is his mess. He finds it cute.

“Baby’s all done?” Leon’s thumb traces the shape of your lip, your Cupid’s bow, your puffy bottom lip. Always juts out ‘cause you’re always pouting about one thing or the other. Leaning into his palm, you shake your head, shifting from your knees to your butt. Cross-legged on the ground you push the gas cylinder on his spinny chair. There is the deflated sound of his chair sinking and you hum in satisfaction, level with his cock.

“Careful, lift your little fingers,” he warns when you grab the underside of his seat to try and wheel him closer. You do as he says, anything to get his cock in your mouth. Leon wheels forward, and you situate yourself between his thighs once more, lips wrapping around his dick. You take inch by inch, closing your eyes once you get to the midway point, then you swallow around his cock— Fuck, that got him twitching. Your eyes open, and you giggle, the vibration goes straight to his core. His cock grows thicker and heavier by the second, tip fat and leaky as it drip-drops directly down your throat.

“Look at you go,” Leon chuckles. “You did that all on your own, baby.” No Viagra needed when he has you.

You smooch the head, smearing his pre over your lips like a coat of gloss, then you trail kisses along the shaft as you do down his midriff.

“Always tryin’ that, it’s not gonna work.” He clicks his tongue, the sound of your struggle is cute, you choke on spit while trying to fit Leon’s balls in your mouth. It’s real fucking cute. No other girl has ever loved on his balls like you do. He appreciates it. You’re a proper whore, Leon says that with love.

“‘S gonna, Daddy,” you insist in your whiniest voice.

“Alright, alright, it’s gonna work.”

It does not work. Daddy’s always right, you should know that, sweetheart.

You gaze up at him, a string of spit connecting your lips to his spit-coated balls. Whole lotta spit. You’re lucky he likes it messy. You settle for sucking on the rounded bottom of them, tongue following the seam that runs up the middle.

“You like it down there so much, cutie,” he says, fondness manifesting in his dick finally managing to stand tall and proud like an American.

“Mwah.” You place one more sloppy kiss on the underside of his cock, right on a vein that comes to the surface. His dick casts a shadow on your face. Real good view from up here. Makes his shit look huge.

Leon gets stupid when he’s horny. His brain activity is low already, when he’s turned on his brain activity is nonexistent. When he sits you on his desk, there is no concern for the paperwork that gets crumpled under your butt. Paperwork that’s been passed on to him by the US government, by the damn President. Paperwork that has been subjected to abuse by not only a gel pen, but now by your cute ass, and your drippy cunt. Not his girl’s fault she has such a sloppy pussy. Forgive her, Mr. President. Not Leon’s fault he gets her so wet. Cut down my workload, Mr. President.

“Oh no, my baby.” Leon stands between your spread thighs, frowning as he thumbs the wet patch staining the crotch of your panties. “Got ‘em all messy, sweetheart, what're we gonna do with you?”

“Oh no, daddy,” you coo at him, a dopey smile on your face.

“Cheeky.” Leon kisses your forehead, presses his thumb into the centre of the wet patch, the fabric dips and sinks into your spongy hole. “She’s so greedy.” He takes your panties off, not without turning them inside out to suck on the wet patch. If you’re embarrassed about it, you don’t complain. “I think daddy needs to give you a kiss down here, baby.”

“Lotsa kisses.” You nod in agreement.

“Yeah? Want daddy to kiss your princess parts?” Shit, that is one fucked up phrase. Always messes him up. Knocks the air out of his lungs. It’s just true though. A hard fact. You do have the prettiest princess cunt Leon has ever seen. It just sounds so dirty. But you preen when he says it, and your clit twitches, and your pussy drools. On that very important paperwork. “That’s what you need, isn’t it? Need your daddy to kiss these sweet princess parts.”

Leon’s first priority is your clit. Poor thing is all swollen. His pointer finger drags through the middle of your cunt, parts your folds and circles your bud. You’re trembling in anticipation, and that single finger is almost too much.

“‘S not a kiss, daddy,” you tell him, brows knit together.

He flicks your clit and your hips jolt. The IKEA desk holds up well. Leon deserves to be a little mean, you’ve put him through so much. That stupid scanner makes him trigger-happy. “Okay, my bad, Miss Know-it-all.”

When he gets down to business, you pet his head as a reward, and Leon takes it. He latches onto your clit, lips smacking noisily. Your pussy wets his scruffy face, Leon would like to wear your scent to work in the morning. With each broad lick to your cunt, there’s another gush of slick. And he groans into your pussy ‘cause fuck he could live between your thighs— God, he wonders if this is a fix for barely functioning alcoholics. Pussy. If he eats enough - which Leon does, he’s generous when it comes to head - he might sober up.

His tongue fucks into your hole, his nose bumping your clit as he moves his head from side to side. Must look like he’s motorboating your pussy. Not far off from that. “Oh, that’s right.” You grind your hips into him. “Mmm-Mmm-Mmm-“ Leon moans with each push of his tongue, sounds kinda ridiculous. “That’s good, fuck daddy’s mouth, sweetheart—“

“Stop…” Your breath is caught in your throat. “Stop talkin’ daddy!” You sob, fingers tangled in his hair, using it to force him deeper and deeper, hips moving in tandem.

Leon smiles into you, and you don’t let go of his hair until you’re reduced to tears, making an even bigger mess on his desk as your body shakes. It hit you hard. Poor baby. Blubbering and all sorts. When you free him, Leon moves to kiss you, rubs his pussy-wet stubble all over your face, swallows your complaints.

“It’s okay, sweetheart.” Leon leaves wet kisses on your neck. “Daddy’s got you, hm? Daddy’s right here.” You’re still trembling, grabbing at his shoulders when he rolls his hips forward, the leaky head of his cock meeting your clit in a disgusting wet kiss.

You shudder, toes curling in your pink socks. Leon soothes you, stroking your back as he eases into your princess cunt. “Easy, baby, be a good girl for me.”

Your cunt sucks him in, doesn’t take long for him to be buried inside of you. He rolls his hips forward, slow and steady. You gasp, throwing your head back and knocking a pot of pens onto the floor when your hands move to grip the edge of his desk.

Like this, with your back arched and your hips raised, cunt swallowing him whole, you’re the prettiest. When you’re slutting yourself out on his dick. Sorry. Leon’s only a man. This is how he thinks, how he’s wired to be, he can’t help it. You’re so fucking hot it drives him nuts.

The more you arch, the better it feels, he gives lazy thrusts that somehow manage to hit just right ‘cause you keen and fuck yourself on him, letting out hiccuped sobs of Daddy.

Daddy, daddy, daddy.

It’s all you can say. Fuck.

“I love you, baby,” Leon says. “I love you, daddy loves you.”

Oh, and you cum so hard he thinks you’re about to blackout. You don’t. But you do squirt. Pushing his cock out with the force of your high, Leon forces his dick further into you— The rush of liquid hits his skin in bursts, and you’re squeezing him tight, hole clenching like crazy in second-long intervals.

“Daddy… I love you.” Your words are slurred, but you never miss the opportunity to tell him how much you love him. “Love you more.”

“Not… Not possible.” Leon almost whines when he cums. Almost. You scratch behind his ears, it’s like you’re saying There you go, good daddy! Like he’s a dog. Leon is a dog, not a real dog, but a human dog. The pervert kind of dog.

He fills you up like a creampuff, and when his cock slips out, dribbles of his seed dripping from the tip, Leon’s quick to use his thumbs to keep your pussy spread.

“Push it out, baby.” He watches your hole twitch, milky cum spilling out as you exert your pussy. “Good girl, you’re such a good girl.” Leon kisses you hard, cradles the back of your head. “Daddy’s good girl.”

Leon helps you stand, his fingertips mould to the flesh of your ass when he gives it a squeeze. You’re a tender little darling, wrapping your arms around his neck to hug him. When his chin slots over your shoulder, and your scent is sweet on his nose, Leon gapes at the sight of his soggy paperwork. Unfortunately, Leon won’t even be fired for insolence, he’ll just have to face Hunnigan. Something he can’t do while sober. Could do it while pussy drunk though. Never thought about that.

“I think,” Leon starts, hoists you back onto the desk so he can pick you up, “it’s bath time.” You’re nodding off in his arms, barely able to cling onto him. He manages to get you to the bathroom, sitting you down on the counter. “Or is it naptime?”

“Naptime,” you mumble, wincing at the icy counter on your warmed skin.

“Whatever you say, baby.” Leon cleans you up, diligent in his role as Daddy. Would never let his sweetheart go to bed like that. “There we go, fresh as a daisy,” he claims post-towel wipe down.

“Sticky.” You always have a complaint for him. But it’s okay, he loves you. You’re his spoiled little girl.

“Okay, so then is it bath time?” He raises a brow and you shake your head.

“No! Naptime, daddy!” You loop your arms around his neck. “Up.”

“You’re so bossy, you know that?” Leon says while smiling. “Big fuckin’ baby, what am I gonna do with you?”

“Bad words,” you scold, tapping your finger on his lips.

“Daddy can say bad words.” He takes you to bed, fluffs up the pillows for you like he's never done for anyone else. “But you’re a little baby, you can’t say bad words.”

And for once, you’re so sleepy you have nothing bratty to say in return. “Okay, daddy, sleep now,” you say, rolling onto your side to hide your face in his chest.

“Okay, baby,” he laughs quietly, holding you close. “Sleeping now.”

#leon s kennedy x reader #leon kennedy x you #leon kennedy imagine #leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy smut #leon s kennedy x you #leon s kennedy smut #resident evil x you #resident evil x reader #resident evil smut

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lovelyverosika · 2 months

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Angels going crazy…crazy…is he angry maybe…maybe

Hazbin Hotel! Adam x Fem!reader

Part 4 —> Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Warning: swearing, slight violence, mention of suicide, suggestive ;)

3rd POV:

Meanwhile in the courtroom:

Everything was quiet. All eyes on them. Adam stood in front of Monika with an unreadable expression on his face. "Sir, what are you doing?", Lute said as she came down the podium. Sera looked unsure as well and Charlie looked shocked or to say it better betrayed. Monika knew that redemption was possible the whole time and didn’t tell her and on top of it she’s not the nice demon she acted to be.

"Leave now.", said Adam with a stern voice. Monika raised an eyebrow. "Why?", she asked. "I said leave.", Adam said again, this time with a louder voice. "Naw, are you hurt because your sweet wife is actually a dumb loser bitch?", Monika said with a mocking grin. "I SAID LEAVE, YOU DUMB BITCH OR ELSE I BEAT YOU DOWN THE HOLE YOU CAME FROM MYSELF!", Adam basically screamed at her. Monika looked at him with widen eyes. "Whoa dude, chill.", said Monika with a slight scared expression on her face. "Enough is enough.", Adam said while grabbing Monika roughly and pushing her down the portal to hell. "I’m so sorry for all this mess.", said Charlie as she grabbed Vaggies hand and left for the portal as well. Without saying another word Adam flew out of the courtroom, leaving everyone either confused or shocked.

The streets of heaven were unusually quiet and the angels seem to be in some kind of distress. Why? Because of none other than the first man. The last time they saw him in such an angry state was when Y/N left heaven for 2 weeks for business. Right now he wanted to be alone to clear up his mind or at least collect his thoughts. He really hoped Emily didn’t took Y/N to their shared home, he doesn’t want to get seen in such a vulnerable state at all costs after all he was THE Adam, THE first man. He let out a sigh of relief when he opened the door and everything was quiet. Immediately he went into their shared bedroom and threw his mask on the floor. With a heavy sigh searched for something in the closet of his wife. After a few minutes he found it and couldn’t help but to crack a small smile. It was a stuff bunny, which resembles Y/N.

On their first valentine’s day Y/N has gifted it to him, of course he acted all rough and tough before actually accepting the gift. What would the other angels think if they saw THE first man being all infatuated because of a simple stuff bunny. Behind closed doors he let his facade fall together with his mask since he knew how sensitive Y/N was and how fast she got insecure about those kind of things. Loving kisses and lots of sweet, teasing words were shared that evening but no one needs to know how smitten he actually is. He lied down on her side of the bed, inhaling her comforting smell. He didn’t know how to feel, he still had mixed feelings about what he found out. Out of exhaustion he then fell asleep.

-time skip-

It was early in the morning when Y/N came home, she slept over at Emily’s since she thought it would be the best to give Adam some time. She couldn’t help but to be scared. Adam hated sinners but she changed and redeemed herself and when you think about it there are demons who did much worse than she did. Of course she regretted throwing away her previous life but the past can’t be changed. Everything here in heaven is different now, she finally found someone who makes her (after) life worth living for. Guilt flooded her mind, she only had herself to blame but she couldn’t just causally tell him that she used to be a demon, sadness and fear were one of her most dominant emotions.

Controlled by fear she only does things with a small chance of turning out bad, which lead to her missing out a lot of things since her youth. Adam always gave her a slight push to try out as much as possible as long she’s not too uncomfortable. The outcome was pretty satisfying to her, she tried out lots of new things and they even went to a concert together. Sure it was overwhelming at first but in the end she enjoyed it even more than he did. She smiled at the memory as she walked towards the bedroom door.

She took a deep breath as she opened the door with shaky hands but she relaxed a bit as she saw Adam still sleep. She walked up to him and smiled, he held the stuff bunny she gifted him close to his chest, that must be a good sign, right? Careful not to wake him she kissed his forehead and left the bedroom to prepare some breakfast. Even if he’s going for the divorce she wanted to show him her love and appreciation for one last time.

Right when she finished his favourite breakfast he came out of the bedroom. He sat down in front of her without saying anything, which made Y/N feel even more unsure and nervous than before. "Redemption…huh.", were the first words he said. "Well yes and I’m so sorry for not telling you..I just thought you would like leave me if I told you. And I know you don’t really like demons but I only got to hell because I thought suicide was the answer, which obviously isn’t true, so I’m not a murder or anything. But if you want to leave me I can totally understand that and I’m not mad or anything just a bit sad but-"

Adam interrupted her: "Sheesh babe chill, if you only were this talkative in bed..just kidding this is serious. I forgive you after all how can I stay mad at you when you’re my sweet wifey. Of course you were an asshole for not telling me but you’re still you. Damn I sound cheesy right now." With a loud happy squeal Y/N basically threw herself on Adam and hugged him tightly as they now lay on the floor. "Ouch fuck!", he said while patting her back. Y/N mumbled a quiet sorry before giving him a quick peck on his cheek. "So are we going like fuck now?", he said with a playful smirk. "Adam.. we’re having a wholesome moment right now.", Y/N whined before gently punching his shoulder. They spend the whole afternoon cuddling and just appreciating each other’s affection.

Later that day when the sun went down Adam took Y/N to her favourite flower garden. No one else was there just them. Suddenly Adam got on his knees, leaving Y/N confused and a bit excited. "I’m not good with words, babe but when I say I love you I really mean it and I know we’re already married but will you marry me? I wanna marry the other part of you as well..wanna make you all mine.", he said, leaving Y/N stunned. "Yes, yes and yes!", she answered, touched by his sweet word. Without saying anything else they kissed deeply with the sun setting down behind them.

They spent the rest of the night underneath their sheets naked while loving each other passionate and deeply.

The End<3

A/N: Looking back I never thought that anyone would read this fanfic, which is based on one of my delusional daydreams. The amount of support I got really touched me. That’s why I decided to continue this small Adam x reader series. I really hope you enjoyed it. Thank you for everything<3

#adam x reader #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel adam #hazbin hotel adam x reader #hazbin hotel x reader #x reader

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ysrjune · 28 days

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Scott Barringer and Sam Monroe but they’re twins..

includes; both boys like you, but one lets it be known and the other one’s pissed at himself for even liking you LOL.

I'm pretty sure people have wrote down things for this already but 😈.. im gonna go crazy with this OHMYY

okay so this is just a couple ideas im putting down cause I think im gonna make this a whole fic, who knows. I'm on springbreak for a whole week, so I have the time but who knows.. anyway!

Scott and Sam Monroe moved in next door to your house when you were 13. They looked a little older, atleast 15. Right away you could tell they were twins because Sam didn't have his hair dyed at the time, so it was easier to see the resemblance.

Even though they looked alike, they didn't dress alike. Scott’s outfits consisted of flannels, t-shirts, and mostly levi jeans while Sam would wear baggy jeans, sometimes shorts, and a lot of band t’s. Not to even mention that the colors they wore were so different. Sam would often wear dark clothing while his brother wore all kinds of colored clothing.

Sam got his first piercings a few months after you first saw him. They were on his ear, so it didn't really change much until he got his labret a year after. His parents were so pissed—his father would often say, “Get that thumb tack out of your chin.” Dont even get him started on the eye-makeup either..

Scott’s appearance didn't change much over the years. The only thing that changed a little was his attitude. He started becoming so whiny and complained about almost everything.. just like Sam. Thats one way that they're alike besides their looks. Those boys bonded over whining about everything.

Scott started liking you way before Sam did since he would actually hangout with you a couple weeks after he moved in. Your mom and dad wanted to meet the neighbors, so the 4 of them had planned a dinner which went well. You and Scott hit if off while Sam was just kinda.. there. He didnt seem so bad, he chuckled at a couple of jokes the two of you made but he didn't say much.

Sam started liking you when you complimented his choice of style and his music taste. Literally no one had ever did that before, so you can imagine how nice that felt for him. But its not like he was happy about liking you. He knew Scott liked you way before he did, so he just felt pissed about his feelings. He tried so hard to ignore you, and was pretty good at it but that didnt keep him from giving you a small smile here and there and checking you out.

Scott liked you and made it kinds obvious. He didn't care though, he wasn't expecting you to like him back all that much and he was okay with that as long as you two remained friends. On your birthdays, hed buy you flowers—even on valentines day! he even got something for your mom. As much as he was okay with you probably not liking him back—he still tried.

HOORAY DONE WITH THIS

guys PLEASE lmk if we like this idea and want more of it! send asks/reqs for this idea specifically if you want 😆💞

part 1 part 2 part 3

#scott barringer x you #scott barringer smut #scott barringer x reader #scott barringer imagine #scotty pls give me a chance #sam monroe x you #sam monroe #sam monroe smut #sam monroe fanfiction #sam monroe imagine #sam monroe x reader #life as a house #higher ground #hayden christensen x reader #hayden christensen #hayden christensen smut #sam and scott are twins

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luciddownloading · 1 month

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Tarot Reading (Pick A Card): Messages From Your Inner Child 🧸

Hello and welcome to or welcome back for another Tarot reading. I felt very inspired to do this one today, possibly because of my own recent inner child work. It's pretty self-explanatory. We will first see what traits your inner child has; how you were as a child and how you still carry that around. Then, we'll see what messages your inner child has for you. Being in touch with the child within can make you more in touch with your emotions and needs, which can, therefore, bring you clarity on emotional problems or external conflicts you may be avoiding or struggling with.

I don't know what kind of messages will come out but I have a feeling that some of what I will be channeling will be on the heavier side. The inner child can, of course, carry so much of any trauma or abuse a person may have experienced growing up. So, keep that in mind.

And I am taking reversals again, btw. I just felt called to. So, see which image or images you feel most drawn to and then see what you need to know about or hear from your inner child. As always, use your intuition to know what resonates and if it's your pile or not. This reading may not be for everyone because of the messages being channeled.

PILE 1

PILE 2

PILE 3

PILE 4

PILE 1

YOUR INNER CHILD'S TRAITS

The Hermit (reversed)

Knight of Pentacles (reversed)

The Tower (reversed)

Ten of Cups (back of the deck)

Aw, Pile 1. I want to give the little version of you a hug. This is some really emotionally charged energy here. I feel like there are a lot of feelings about your childhood that you have yet to process. Maybe you're on the younger side still, like your early to mid 20's, and you haven't dealt with that yet. Or you could have just begun your healing journey or you're just about to. Either way, your inner child feels very, very close to your adult self, as if you are still that child that you were then. This could be in positive ways or in ways that held you back.

I definitely feel like you were very introverted or spent a lot of time alone. You might have been shamed a lot for that. Adults around you, in particular, could have thought your introversion was odd or tried to push you out of it. Not realizing that you can't really change that about a person! However, although there's nothing wrong with being an introvert, some of your behavior was a reaction to your environment. You often felt unsafe and judged and overwhelmed and you would totally retreat within your own little world in order to cope. You could play with your toys, read books or watch movies all day with little interaction with others.

You were constantly wishing you were somewhere else. You definitely could have hates your home life and even your hometown. You had a lot of fantasies about moving away or running away. You might have even tried to run away from home, when things got too crazy. But, I also feel like you were the rock in the family. You didn't need to be and shouldn't have been. You were just a kid. But, your home atmosphere was very turbulent and your family members could have been very unstable or thrived on drama. You might have felt like it was your role to be the sane one in the house or else everything would truly crumble. I can see you being a mini adult and being the one to listen or give advice or calm things down. If you had younger siblings, that's different. But, if you were doing this with older siblings or your parent(s), that could be a big source of trauma. Who was taking care of you?

You were either a huge overachiever or major underachiever in school, as a response to this parentified role. Either you felt like getting straight A's and being the model child was your key to survival and receiving love or you were so exhausted, neglected and even depressed at home that you couldn't be bothered with school. You might have even underperformed academically as your way of rebelling. People might not have understood the extent of your issues at home. One or both of your parents were all about appearances and making people think you had a perfect family.

I do think that you developed a deep-seated dream of the perfect family, as a child. You could have looked at your friends' families with envy or longing, wondering why couldn't have a family as nice or caring or stable as that. You might have even spent a lot of time at certain friends' homes, to the point where you became an honorary member of their family. It was a nice escape from your home. Again, I also think you became a major caregiver as a result of your upbringing. You were especially gentle with younger kids and very aware of how you treated them. You also couldn't wait to grow up and become a parent yourself. You could have personal placements in Scorpio or the Earth signs (Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn) especially Virgo. Your Moon, in particular, may be in one of those signs. Your inner child is a real sweetheart and determined to give others the love that he/she/they didn't feel. That even extended to your relatives, even if they weren't always acting right. And this affected them very deeply. They may not have said so or treated you well but you were truly the warm, loving nucleus of your family. A light in the midst of the dark.

WHAT YOUR INNER CHILD WANTS TO SAY

The Empress

Three of Swords (reversed)

The Chariot

Judgement

The Fool (back of the deck)

Okay, this is interesting. So, what I said earlier about your healing journey just beginning could definitely apply to a lot of you. But, for a minority of you, this is describing the healing that you have already done and how far you have gotten. Either way, your inner child is coming through to say how absolutely proud they are of you! They are either proud because of all the progress you have made or the changes you are on track to make in order to heal.

You have or will become the kind of adult that your little self always needed. It is okay if you are crying right now because I am tearing up, too! Lol but you are fully capable of giving your inner child all the love and safety and support they were missing while growing up. You have spent so much of your life just giving, giving, giving that love away. That's what you learned to do. You learned to survive your daily life by giving love to people who couldn't receive it and/or couldn't give that love back. And that has carried over into your friendships and your love life. You are SUCH a loving person but you actually have a very hard time receiving love. This is why you are so drawn to unavailable people in love, for instance. It's what you know and because they can't truly be there for you, it keeps you feeling safe. That's a subconscious thing but attention is being drawn to this pattern (and many of you already know this).

You have had your heart broken very badly before in love because of this pattern. But, you know what? You refuse to give up on love or life. You refuse to shut your heart down. And if you're feeling tempted to harden or go cold, this is your warning to not give into that. That is not you! However, it is going to be important for you to incorporate a little bit more of your head. You lead with your heart and have a huge heart. Your heart chakra is one of your most powerful chakras. But, you will need to remember the power of discernment and boundaries. Don't just give your love to anyone! And align yourself with friends or love interests who can pour into you. It's not your duty or obligation to pour into them! Let yourself receive and attract good love.

I am getting that those of you who chose this pile have a very strong feminine energy (and, of course, you could identify with any gender). A message from your inner child is coming through about that. In some way, you weren't allowed to fully own your feminine energy as a child. Your family could have shamed or mocked you for it. You could have been pushed to be more masculine in a way that felt inauthentic to you. Something about a mother figure is also coming through. She could have been the main one shaming your femininity and possibly because of her struggles with her own. She could have been more on the controlling or suppressive side, not that nurturing or understanding.

However, you have the power to be a great mother figure to yourself. So much of your adult life will be about stepping into your Divine Feminine essence and healing the shaming you received for it as a child. And many of you will find other mother figures to connect to and feel truly nurtured by, whether it's surrogate mothers in the physical, feminine ancestors and spirit guides or even goddesses who have that motherly energy. Take what resonates.

All in all, your inner child either wants to prepare you for or congratulate you on creating a completely different life as an adult than the one given to you as a child. This could even mean cutting certain relatives off or your immediate family as a whole. Whatever feels right to you! You are in charge now. But, I can see you, throughout your healing, having huge and sudden realizations about your upbringing or your behavioral patterns as a result of your upbringing. These breakthroughs will lead to sweeping changes. But, also, don't push yourself too hard. A big part of your healing will depend on being gentle with yourself, especially since you didn't get that at home.

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PILE 2

YOUR INNER CHILD'S TRAITS

King of Pentacles

The Emperor (reversed)

Ten of Cups

Eight of Pentacles (back of the deck)

Pile 2, it seems like you grew up in a home/family that was very patriarchal. I am picking up a father figure with a very strong presence or personality. It could have been a grandfather, too. Maybe you were raised by your grandparents. I am also seeing a beard. Either your father or grandfather could have been known for their beard. But, whatever paternal figure you looked up to, I think they were very solid, consistent and grounded in an impressive way. They shaped a lot of your values, especially your work ethic.

Interestingly, I feel like there is the influence of two father figures here. It could even be a dad and a stepdad. Or two dads! Whatever the case. But, I feel like you were much closer to one than the other. For a lot of you, I do think this is the case of a grandpa that you were very connected to and a dad who you had a lot of issues with. Possibly the reverse! Take it how it resonates. Regardless, one of these father figures made you feel very restricted and invalidated and even controlled. He was very strict and rigid in ways that deeply impacted you.

It's also interesting because not a lot is coming through about you. I don't think, as a child, you were given much space to have an identity of your own. Some of you come from very big families or there was just a lot going on at home. You might have felt unseen and neglected. I think the financial part of your home life was fine. It was a case of emotional neglect. And you had a very deep need for your father's approval and recognition. It was something you just couldn't get but you tried your hardest (and that may still be continuing into adulthood).

The one way you were able to get attention was by achieving things. So, you put a lot of effort and energy into being the best. You also might have had a very competitive relationship with your siblings, for this reason. You could have birth chart placements in Aries or the Earth signs: Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn. Your Moon could be in one of those signs, especially Aries or Capricorn. In many ways, you were a very masculine child. You may have been sporty and athletic, tomboyish, or just very assertive and direct. I do feel like your inner child has anger issues. Even though you could be sensible and level-headed, that inability to feel heard or validated could really, really frustrate you. But, that would just get you into trouble, especially with the aforementioned father figure. Maybe, at times, you would act out because that was a surefire way to get noticed by him.

WHAT YOUR INNER CHILD WANTS TO SAY

The Moon (reversed)

Page of Wands

Queen of Cups (reversed)

Five of Swords

Three of Cups (back of the deck)

Okay, I feel like the message here from your inner child is actually about your family. You have spent your life remaining oblivious to many of the dynamics in your family. If you do recognize some toxic patterns, you will just brush it off as not that big of a deal. But, you are underestimating the importance of these issues. They will catch up to you sooner or later. I am honestly feeling like your inner child is having a kind of That's So Raven vision of something bad happening soon. Except that's a sitcom and this won't be so funny. (You might actually have clairvoyance, too, and not realize it yet) But, you KNOW trouble is brewing. The tension keeps building on something and that'll keep happening until it boils over.

That sounds ominous, I know lol. This is not to scare you. If anything, it's to wake you up because you know what's going on and what's not right. You're just ignoring it. I hate to say it but certain family members might be hating behind your back or hoping you fail. That might not even be entirely conscious. But, when people are really struggling with their own insecurities, they take it out on people who are doing well. Are you embarking on some sort of project or new venture? If so, there are relatives who may be doubting you, criticizing you, even working against you.

There could be a betrayal from someone in your family that you don't see coming, even though anyone else could from a mile off. You just blind yourself, at times, and give them the benefit of the doubt too much. They want to keep you small. You are good at outdoing a lot of your competition, whether you realize it or not. But, you aren't given enough credit. It's that toxic thing that some people do of choosing to not praise you, even though you absolutely ATE without a crumb left on the plate, because praising you, in their mind, would make them smaller. But, that means that they were already small to begin with!

I am getting that this reversed Queen of Cups could be a draining mother figure in your family. If your father was emotionally unavailable, then she was emotionally exhausting. And an emotional vampire can feel very threatened by your success because that means they can't feed on your energy anymore. This could also be a sister, aunt, grandma or even a male relative with a lot of feminine energy. But, they can make you feel very manipulated. And, in the end, they could still love you. This could be so unconscious they don't even know they're doing it.

The little version of you is coming through to tell you to not be deceived by this kind of behavior. This relative may even try to talk you out of your dreams and goals or instill fear. For some of you, I feel like you are pursuing something very creative; a talent you have had since childhood but may not have fully maximized yet. For others, you are already doing it and it's about to take off. Whatever your abilities (and they don't necessarily have to be artistic), I think it's something this Queen of Cups may envy, especially if it's something they always wanted to do.

In terms of your hard father figure, there is a message here to stop trying to impress him. At what point do you decide that you're an adult who doesn't need their parent's approval to thrive? Your inner child is quite exhausted with jumping through those hoops. Just live your life! Liberate yourself. And that liberation may involve taking a break from your family or getting some distance, even if it's for a little while. Maybe longer! It will depend on the type of shit that goes down. I have the feeling that you grew up in a very "close-knit" family. But, close-knit in the sense of codependency and doing things together more so out of habit. If you are still living at home or in your hometown for whatever reason, now would be the time to go elsewhere. As I said, there's not a lot in this reading about your separate identity. I think you need to spend some more time totally on your own to figure out who you are as an individual.

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PILE 3

Two of Pentacles

Five of Swords (reversed)

Eight of Wands (reversed)

King of Swords (reversed) (back of the deck)

Pile 3, I get the feeling that, wphile growing up, you might have taken on quite a bit just to make your family happy. Your inner child can be quite a people pleaser. I think you have always hated arguments and drama and conflict. So, you would do and say whatever was necessary to diffuse things or ease the tension. You might have personal placements, particularly the Moon, in Air: Gemini, Libra, Aquarius. You were a more laid-back child, agreeable and easy to get along with. But, you also struggled with intense inner conflict because you were so busy trying to alleviate any external conflicts and this had a way of eventually spilling out.

Your inner child is very fearful and anxious. I definitely get the vibe of "walking on eggshells". Again, you never wanted to do or say anything wrong. I think the consequences when you messed up could have been especially harsh or even cruel. So, this made you feel very self-conscious and insecure. Many of you could have had a father figure who was pretty much verbally abusive. His words could be extremely harsh and destructive and he might have given you his worst. The ways in which he tore you down may have stuck with you for life and you still haven't healed from it, in some way, is what I am getting.

Your inner child definitely needs a big hug! I don't feel like you got the emotional nourishment that you needed while growing up. That was kind of a foreign concept in your house. You were tended to on practical and intellectual levels. As a result, your inner child can be incredibly needy in ways you don't truly understand. Because of that insistence on the practical, you still focus heavily on the practical now, at the neglect of everything else. I am getting the message that if you are putting too much energy into work, it's because you have some sort of emotional problem you're not dealing with. I think you are simultaneously very close to your inner child but very detached from them. You have many emotional wounds that you feel like you can just ignore or suppress. But, it will come out, in some way or another.

I think that exploring and confronting your inner child can be very scary for you. You would rather not deal with those issues. But, you have to deal with them or else they will deal with you! You're also a little too comfortable in the old patterns of childhood. Not much has changed in terms of the dysfunctional way you deal with things. You get terribly afraid of disappointing people and causing conflict, which inevitably creates conflict. And you can be so, SO hard on yourself. You have a very mean inner dialogue that is just an echo of all the mean things your father figure planted in your head. It's really intense. Your inner child is just crying out for help and comfort because it's like they keep getting beat up again and again.

WHAT YOUR INNER CHILD WANTS TO SAY

King of Swords (reversed)

Seven of Cups (reversed)

Death (reversed)

The Magician (reversed)

Two of Wands (reversed)

Wow, well, this is really heavy. I don't know if you approached this reading expecting to hear what I am about to tell you . But, on some level, you know you need to hear it. First off, what is so striking is that the King of Swords in reverse immediately popped out again. You know that meme of Jasmine Masters, the drag queen, where she's like, "Well, just as I thought. Trash!" That's what just came to mind because I feel that way about this father figure represented by the reverse King of Swords. They are so mean and nasty and so miserable. Always has been and might always will be. Yes, I am dragging them lol. Maybe I should be impartial but fuck it. I feel like you need that because them showing up again here confirms how much they have wrecked your self-image and self-esteem since childhood. They made you believe that YOU are trash but you weren't the problem. They are still so deep in your head and under your skin and that's the first thing you need to heal.

You have spent your whole life afraid of turning into them, too, and you don't see how wonderful you actually are. We do NOT have to be our parents. We are not automatic clones of our parents. So many people just become a lot like their parents out of conditioning and an inability to shape their personalities in a different mold or break the cycle. Maybe you too have tendencies toward being harsh or cold but some of this is just a defense mechanism. You're not perfect but that doesn't make you the worst person alive. And that doesn't make you your father. Again, I really don't think you see how kind and lovely your heart really is because no one consistently made your little self feel good and lovable.

Another message I am getting is that I feel like you get sucked into super-dysfunctional situations that mirror your childhood issues. You might easily fall into either very toxic or very unfulfilling relationships. You felt trapped and mistreated as a child and you now fall into situations where you feel trapped and mistreated. Certain partners may even have made you feel like it's not possible to leave or survive without them. If you're in such a relationship now, PLEASE seek help and know that it is possible to get out. You also don't have to hide what you're going through out of shame.

Yeah, the relationship thing is a major message here. You can settle for terrible partners because you don't feel you deserve something better. You may feel like you have no other option. You can also just settle for being alone and pushing good things away because the prospect of losing something good is too scary for you. I feel like these are actually not messages from your inner child but real guidance from Spirit and your Guides. They want you to heed this advice so you can actually begin the process of healing and nurturing your inner child.

It feels like you have been extremely resistant to change, in the past, and developed a sort of learned helplessness. I think it's the vulnerability of your hurt inner child that wants someone else to gallop in and save you. But, no, you can save yourself. You can be your own hero. You can prove to yourself, your family, and anyone else that you are so, so much more than your trauma or all the horrible and inaccurate things you were told about yourself. But, you have choose that path of healing. You have to make the conscious effort. The reward of it all will be reconnecting with your child self and recognizing that they were and are so much more lovable and special than they were told they were.

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PILE 4

YOUR INNER CHILD'S TRAITS

The Hierophant

Ace of Wands

Three of Swords (reversed)

King of Cups (back of the deck)

Pile 4, I definitely feel like your inner child is an old soul. You had a maturity and wisdom to you beyond your years as a kid. So much of that just had to do with the strength and frequency of your soul. You lived many, many lifetimes before you incarnated. You're a highly spiritual being and I really get the feeling that many of you were incarnated in order to heal some sort of generational trauma in your family. You have a very strong bond with at least one or two of your ancestors, who either passed on before you arrived or when you were very little, to the point where you may barely remember them. But, they serve as a Guide to you and they're actually hijacking the reading a bit just to tell you how proud they are of you and how much they love you.

You were a very compassionate, very loving child. I actually wouldn't be surprised if you were also drawn to Pile 1 because this feels like an extension of that pile. You are a born empath and healer, a light-worker, but you, of course, didn't know that as a child. You just knew you felt everything deeply and cried when others were in pain, that you could feel the pain of the adults around you without them even telling you. And you didn't understand why you didn't quite feel like a child. There was a heaviness and seriousness to you, an intense emotional depth. Yes, you could still be silly and playful. But, you were like some ancient 2000 year old creature stuck in a child's body.

Yet, you were also very enthusiastic, passionate and spirited. You might have had a big personality that felt often stifled by the adults around you. I am sensing that many of you grew up in a very traditional or very conservative family that you just could not fit into. You could have been made to feel bad about your free spirit, your fiery side or colorful nature. For some of you, being so sensitive, this stifled you and made you turn inward. You could have experienced a personality shift where you became shy, quiet or reserved. However, you found your escape in creativity. You displayed a lot of creative talent, at an early age, and this became an outlet for all your self-expression and strong emotions.

Many of you could have had a very religious upbringing, too. While it may have been very restrictive, I feel like a lot of you enjoyed going to church and what not because of your high spiritual vibration. It wasn't about the religion itself but the communion with God/Spirit/Source. That created a very solid foundation of faith that you have carried with you throughout life, even if you left the church and moved away from religion, which a lot of you did. But, you remained connected to Source and developed a very powerful spiritual life as an adult.

Yeah, I do have a hard time exactly feeling like your inner child is a child. Of course, there can be trauma associated with that feeling. Maybe you did have to grow up too fast. But, people online nowadays think so much in terms of therapy language that some of them fail to realize that being an "old soul" or "miniature adult" is not entirely the result of trauma. That's also just who you naturally were as a kid. You could have birth chart placements - the Moon sign, in particular - in the sign of Taurus or the Water signs: Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces. Your inner child is very perceptive and insightful. You saw the wounds in your family members, especially adults, and somehow "knew better", on an emotional level, than them.

Many of you had turbulent upbringings and suffered a lot of hurt yourself. A result of cycles being repeated. But, you never let it break you. I also think you were highly protected on a spiritual level. Very powerful Spirit Guides of yours acted as parental figures on the other side. They're the ones who raised you, emotionally and spiritually. There is a caring father figure in Spirit form who was especially present. It could have been your actual father who passed, a late grandfather or uncle, or even just a Spirit Guide who plays the role of father in your life. But, this is a masculine being who has always provided you with both strength and comfort, who has been there every time you shed tears. They love you so, so much and are so proud of how far you've come. Such a beautiful message! Again, that's a bit of a side note but they are very integral in the character, integrity, and depth you've developed since childhood because your 3d family could not give that to you.

WHAT YOUR INNER CHILD WANTS TO SAY

Queen of Swords (represented)

Ten of Pentacles

Four of Cups (reversed)

The Empress (reversed)

Two of Wands (back of the deck)

This is so interesting because every single pile has had major messages about a parental figure. But, this is about your inner child so that makes total sense. Your inner child is drawing attention to your mother figure here. She may not have been easy to deal with as a kid or even now as an adult. She could have controlling, abusive or narcissistic traits. And I don't easily throw the "narcissist" word around but that's what I am feeling called to say. You know if that resonates.

But, you are being asked to look at your mother's lineage and side of the family as a whole, which I feel is probably very female dominated. I think they were the source of a lot of your childhood trauma. Examine the family history and ask yourself how patterns have repeated or been passed down. Ask yourself how your mom was treated by her mom. Are there parallels? Can you see how that shaped her? And I think you're already good at processing those things but your inner child kind of wants you to not just see your mom as your mom. Really think about when she was just a child and how she probably felt the same way about her mom as you felt toward her. Whether or not you forgive is your choice. But, having more perspective on her could be healing.

Your inner child also wants you to examine your relationship with women, as a whole. Depending on your gender or sexual orientation, this could differ. But, I feel like you have recently been betrayed or heartbroken by a woman who you were very close to, either a good friend or a romantic partner. She could have displayed the same narcissistic or malignant traits as your mom or other women in your family. And that could be a haunting realization - that you are somehow attracted to that dynamic - but this recognition also leads to healing. If you're a woman, you also may have a horrible fear of becoming these women. But, no need to fear. You are the cycle breaker, honey! It ran through your family until it ran into you!

Regardless of your gender, I think you were meant to be a beautiful example of the Divine Feminine. But, you need to be aware of what kind of feminine energies you're drawing into your life. Whether male or female, you could really attract close connections with women who want to control you or make you feel small, who are jealous of your beauty or abundance or confidence. This is an echo of things with your mom and shows you where you need to heal that inner child wound. You are not doomed to be near feminine narcissists but these relationships need to serve as a lesson. So, you can avoid them in the further and attract truly supportive, genuine feminines into your life. You deserve to be your fullest self and not shrink for someone who supposedly loves you.

There is so much that you could have become, in a negative way, but you didn't! Your mother or that toxic feminine serve as a sort of inverse mirror image of you. Your Guides are congratulating you for not becoming that and moving down the right path. Also, a big part of your destiny will be having a family. I think the majority of you will want kids but, for a few of you, this could also mean fur-babies. I also feel compelled to say you're quite close to establishing that family of your own.

I am not saying you'll get married in a few months! But, I think a lot of you either will meet/reunite with the person you'll marry very soon (this year is what I am getting) or you are already with them. And this will lead to a family. Again, don't worry. You have already done all the healing work you have needed to do, including possibly cutting toxic relatives out. If this is your mom and you are struggling with that decision or missing her, it's okay to feel that way. But, you did the right thing! Think of how unhappy your life would be if you didn't make the decision to heal or distance yourself. You are setting yourself, your future spouse and future children up for the kind of fulfillment you didn't have.

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Thanks for stopping by! You can check out my other readings and posts here:

MASTER LIST

#tarot #tarot reading #channeled message #pick a card #pick a card reading #pick a pile reading #pick a pile #pick a picture #inner child #inner child work #inner child healing #spirit guides

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urfavoritegirlkisser · 4 months

Text

"To all the Girls I've Loved Before" Hazel Callahan x Reader

"And then she shoved them all into her closet, for her eyes only, and it would stay that way until she died…or at least that was her hope."

Tags: Fluff, Nothing big happens really, only one use of y/n, wlw, proof read but it's currently 4:44am and my eyes burn so just ignore imperfections

A/N: This is kind of loosely based on the scene in "To all the Boys I've Loved Before" where all the guys receive their letters, but make it gay, also please don't steal my writing...it would suck

Hazel always kept her romantic feelings to herself…well, she tried to at least.

Sometimes she would have a crush that made her want to just scream from the rooftops and parade around town confessing her love to whoever was the object of her desires at that time.

So, Hazel decided to write them out, to save herself from becoming an even bigger loser than she already was. She would write letters to all of her crushes but never mail them so she could look back and read what crazy things a simple crush can do to a person.

There was only three letters, one to PJ, one to a girl she had met at summer camp once, and then you.

You were the one crush that Hazel didn’t think she would ever be able to shake, PJ was simple to shake after a few arguments and harsh words thrown Hazel’s way…

But you seemed to keep Hazel in your grasp even if you only knew her from that one spin the bottle game during a party freshman year, which was the first time Hazel kissed a girl. Ever since she would still catch herself faintly blushing if you caught her gaze in the hallways.

She had written your letter first, the night she got home from the party freshman year. Hazel poured out all of her giddy feelings about the kiss and how pretty your eyes were underneath the cheap party city lights.

And then she shoved them all into her closet, for her eyes only, and it would stay that way until she died…or at least that was her hope.

It was a regular Friday afternoon. Hazel’s last period being gym which wasn’t exactly her favorite, especially since she had gotten caught up with fight club business and ran late causing her teacher to tell her she was running an extra lap because of her tardiness.

Hazel had been running for a while and stopped to take a breather as the sun shone down on her, and of course she forgot her water bottle in the bleachers in her haste.

Out of the corner of her eye, Hazel saw you approaching and tried to straighten her sweaty and wrinkled P.E. uniform. Not that it helped her appearance any since she knew her cheeks were probably a blotchy red and could feel her hair sticking to her forehead from the sweat.

“Hey y/n, what’s up?” she asks, trying to be cool but cringing at herself for not coming up with something less generic.

You smile sweetly, “Hi Hazel, look I wanted to tell you that I am very flattered, but I just broke up with Josh a few days ago” you say putting a comforting hand on her shoulder.

“I’m sorry…what?” Hazel says, confused and still trying to catch her breath from running, and that’s when she saw it

Oh fuck…

In your hands was a letter, Hazel’s handwriting clear as day with your name and address on it.

“And don’t get me wrong, that kiss freshman year was great for a first kiss, I wouldn’t say it was like a firework show but I mean I wasn’t in your shoes for it so…” You ramble on a little awkwardly

And that’s the last thing Hazel remembers you saying before she hit the ground

—————

“Hazel!” You say sharply while shaking her shoulder and she jerks awake with a sharp inhale

Hazel squints as the sun shines directly into her eyes, “Jesus…what happened?” she groans a little as she leans onto her elbows

“Well, you fainted” you say before helping Hazel sit up

She knows that you continued speaking to her after that, but she can’t really pay attention as she looks over you shoulder to see a confused looking PJ walking over, letter in hand

Oh no…no no no no no

“Oh my god…” Hazel mutters to herself trying to think of a distraction and then turning to you.

“Oh my god” she repeats before quickly pulling you down so she’s on top of you and quickly presses her lips to yours, while you shriek in surprise.

“Hey! You two! Get up and stop that!” the coach shouts, which causes Hazel to immediately break away in shock of what she had just done.

She looks over to see PJ staring at the two of you dumbfounded. Hazel jumps up and shoots you a thumbs up.

“Uh, thanks…i guess” she stammers out before running away from both you and PJ who tries to call after her.

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Thank you for reading!! This is my first time posting fanfic so I am actually so nervous, go drink some water you girl kissers, love y'all!

#hazel callahan x reader #hazel bottoms #bottoms movie #ruby cruz #hazel callahan #wlw fanfic

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xkaidaxxxx · 2 months

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Zuko x chubby reader

Mentions: body shaming, foul language, angst,aggression, lying, fluff?!

Simple! :) sorry for errors.

“You look very beautiful y/n.” Katara mentioned "Thanks. I decided it's time for a change." You replied. Katara's complement made you blush. Sokka was surprisingly good at cutting hair. He gave it layers and added braids that held your hair back. “ I agree with Katara” Mai spoke. You instantly felt horrible with the new hairstyle. Mai isn’t the one to express her feelings so that comment made you believe otherwise. Perhaps cutting your hair shouldn't have crossed your mind.

Aang noticed you playing with the charm bracelet you wore. It tells him a lot about how you feel. He noticed you'd touch a certain charm with the emotion you were feeling, such as anger, happiness, sadness, anxiety, etc.“Katara is right y/n. It suits you! Sokka did a great job.” He spoke. He had that nice big smile. “ New hair cut? Looks nice” Zuko said patting your back. You’ve been dating him for 4 months and you’re very thrilled about it. He’s very kind and romantic when alone with you.

The day went on by. Everyone was calm. You can hear the ocean tides and feel the wind blowing. “Tell her. I’m tired of hiding.” Mai said. Zuko rubbed his temples. “It’s not that simple Mai. I can’t dump her out of the blue.” He responded. You heard them. “You don’t even like her. Why did you agree on dating her?” Your tears slipped. You didn’t want to hear his answer. “Because…she’s saved me many times..and I felt bad. It looked like she was going to cry if I said no.That and how many guys do chubby girls date? Almost never. I’m giving her a little hope.” You cried silently. You felt sudden saddens and hate. Running towards the ocean Katara called out to you. “ Y/n we’re making lunch! Wanna come help?” You ignored her walking back and forth. The waves following your movement. You made a fist. Your anger was so out of control you created a storm. “ Hey! Y/n you created a problem here!” Sokka yelled as Aang used his air bending to keep the water from drenching them. “Sorry!” You took a few deep breathes calming away the storm and the crazy waves.

“What’s got you so upset?” Katara asked giving you a tight hug. “ I keep losing my arrows. Haha. I overreacted.” She knew you were lying. She’s your most trusted person. Katara understands your personality, sense of humor, and the way you just are. She whispered. “We can talk about it later.” You smiled and nodded. Lunch was yummy. Everyone’s stomach was content.

Another 3 months went by. All the same apparently Zuko still loves you and wants to spend was much time with you as possible. It was such bullshit. You heard him leave with Mai at midnight. You saw how they treated each other. The little things showed everything.

The ride on the ship was wild. Not because there was a storm or someone was throwing arrows,fire rocks or trying to drown you all. Simply because an argument started.

“ you have no right to be upset. I’ve known him longer. You don’t get it.” Mai said with a straight face. You couldn’t believe what she said. The fire nation is insane however a regular family took you in. You eventually met Zuko. “ Have no right to be upset!? Are you kidding me? Yeah, he was your childhood sweetheart or whatever but who followed behind him when he was exiled !? Me! Which one of us cared to help him emotionally? Me! I’ve given him all my love and support even if it meant I’d be killed on the spot for betraying the fire nation. You did nothing but hide underneath Azula’s shadow and power. Yeah, I have every right to be upset.” You replied tears falling down your cheeks. Everyone was witnessing this mess. You were smarter, stronger, and more reasonable than her. “Zuko out of all the mistakes you’ve made. Cheating on me is the worst one. I know I’m beautiful even if I’m skinny or not. Not many chubby girls get boyfriends you sure were right about that. You should’ve rejected me from the start because I don’t need your pity.” You spoke finally feeling relieved. You said everything you’ve been wanting to say. “You heard us that day? Why didn’t you confront us then?” Zuko asked looking Towards Mai and then at you. “I had hope that along the way you’d realize what you did was wrong and you’d fall in love with me. 3 months later it’s the same. Clearly, I was wrong. I’m done. I’m dumping your ass. I hope you feel guilty for body shaming and lying.” You replied holding onto Katara’s arm. You couldn’t help but do so. She’s your best friend since you’ve met her. “ One day there will be an amazing man who will fall in love with you. He’ll love everything about you.” Katara said. You smiled and hugged her. “ Awe!” Aang and Sokka said in unison.

Pt.2 is posted !!!

#prince zuko #zuko #fire lord zuko #zuko x reader #aang #aanglove #sokka #toph #fanfiction #the last airbender #princess azula #fanfic #elements #avatar the last airbender #aang the last airbender #airbending #firebending #earthbending #waterbending

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knightyoomyoui · 5 months

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Momo x M Reader - "Crazy Stupid Love"

So this is one of my requests and probably the LONGEST one I had to grant because I just realized today that one of my readers made this request since November 2022, so I just want to say my huge apologies to you Dumbledore_1 for taking me too long to finally make this piece. This one-shot is a sequel to my Set 4 Momo x M Reader work titled "Somebody That I Used To Know" so if yall haven't read that one, better do so because you might not understand a little on what this story is about to tell and to give you guys a background from what happened to Momo and the reader's past, although I tackled the main point of this story clearly though. Lastly, I labeled this as only for male reader to feature because the first one also features only male reader, so it might be a weird for the female ones to read this. However, it's still up for my female readers there if you want to imagine yourself as a guy or for others to take place rather for this to aid your curiosities. Here's my Ko-fi account where you can drop your donations or ask for a commission. You can check it out on my Tumblr profile too! Buy knightyoomyoui a Coffee. ko-fi.com/knightyoomyoui - Ko-fi ❤️ Where creators get support from fans through donations, memberships, shop sales and more! The original 'Buy Me a Coffee' Page. Enjoy reading and have a happy Christmas season, everyone!

YN was shaken as the barrage of stomps and steps coming from the other passengers effectively woke him up. The bus had stopped moving, and he peeked from the window with squinted eyes. There he saw a very familiar view.

A smile crept up on his face, and he followed through the remaining people exiting the vehicle. Stepping out, he grabbed his bag and luggage before the bus left them there at the stop point.

YN started to walk while wandering his eyes around at the surroundings. It never changed, he thought. This is still one of the places where he could get use some time off away from every troubles he's having from the city.

And that being said, YN came here for one specific purpose. He wanted to stay in his province of Daegu for quite some time to help himself allow to recover from his heartbreak and improve his well-being for the better.

He has been disturbed day and night by what Momo revealed to him since their last talk, which was one month ago. It led him to the point where he needed to be delving deeply into reflection about the painful revelation she had brought to light. The next important person in his life to whom he has been closest, Dahyun, became aware of her cousin YN's odd conduct. She made one quick suggestion that she knew would assist her cousin, who is in a mess, knowing that he had recently ended a difficult and unpleasant relationship with Momo. She is a little upset at what her cousin did to her friend, but she still needs to show compassion and kindness for him because he is a loved one. She had always despised those who were internally disturbed by shattered hearts. She is thus making every effort to support Momo and YN during these challenging times. Aside from the fact that he genuinely misses their province, YN paid attention to what Dahyun advised her to do. He packed his belongings and traveled for hours to go to Daegu. His grandfather and other Dahyun's side relatives welcomed him when he got there. They greeted him with open arms upon his return, which undoubtedly helped YN feel at home. Then, after spending months there, he bought a house for himself, which his family allowed him to live in alone. During the months he had to stay apart from everything, he had the opportunity to experience living alone in the heart of such a vibrant and serene environment. even though at first he found it tough because he knew that being left alone is one of his worst fears.

Even so, he still tried to endure all the pain as he knew that he needed this for the sake of taking a rest for himself after what he'd gone through. There's been a saying that you will never heal from the pain if you never consider to give yourself a break.

Those created the thoughts that were unable for him to dodge all the memories that ties him back to his ex-girlfriend Momo. Because of her, it finally had him to slowly reprocess and understood everything wrong that thay had gone through in their relationship.

He had it discover pieces by pieces and he got some help coming from one of his interactions with some of the locals around his place, as he turned himself to be a volunteer to their town as a way to give himself things to distract him and make his time more valuable and less boring.

He walked back and got one for himself to begin eating with the locals, joining the elders, after serving some food to some of the kids seated at the table.

A notification beeped into his phone, causing it to open. He saw it for a second and turned it off, right before one of the elders asked him something.

"Who is that girl?"

He paused on directing his spoonful of food on his mouth as he heard the elder's question. He looked at him who has this curious look presented on him.

You opened the phone again and showed the rest your wallpaper that got seen, your own picture of Momo on the screen.

"Was that your partner?" His grandpa asked, tempting him to a frown on his lips.

He hesitated to answer for a while as he stared at Momo through the phone. Gulping his throat, he cleared his voice before speaking out his answer.

"She was mine."

All of them became quiet and his grandpa felt the sullen mood of his grandson. "Son, the world hasn't been very kind to both of you, hasn't it?"

He shook his head, denying the assumption. "I'm starting to think that it's not like that. It was only her, and i'm her world who didn't treated her well."

One of ahjumma (female elder) furrowed her eyebrows at his claim. "Did you do something wrong on her?"

"I did, ahjumma." He nodded his head, tightlipped at how guilty he was. "I broke her heart. I didn't mean to but I had to. I haven't got to explain it further."

"Was it that huge of an effect on her?" the first harabeoji (male elder) who asked him about Momo took the turn. He sipped on the soup and kept your head lowered.

"She erased my existence on her life, like she never met me." He smiled bitterly. His heart starts to get heavy, emotions were slowly rising up in his chest. "I guess she brought back the favor because I tried to get rid of her, to push her aside, to make her feel unwanted."

He received a slap on the shoulder by his own grandpa, earning a yelp of pain from him. "And how could you do that?! That's a wonderful girl you just had and you wasted it."

"Believe me, YN you've done a terrible mistake of inflicting heartbreak on that poor woman. Take me and your grandma as example. Even if we had many faults and fights in our relationship until she passed away, I never forgot her and I know so as she wherever she is right now.

And how did we do that? By making up to each other. Acknowledge what wrongful acts you have done. And I'm telling you, son; if you really loved that woman you won't let her be like that to you. Be sorry for everything that you did, understand?"

He nodded at his mixture of scolding and advice. "B-but, I'm afraid I might lure her away."

"She may not forget, but she may forgive you if you convincingly say everything from your heart."

The elders gasped and awwed when they saw a teardrop flowed out from his eye, he was so invested at the rant spoke by his grandpa that he didn't even noticed that his guilt urged his emotions to break loose.

"What's her name, son?"

"Hirai Momo." He noticed the slight amazement in his face. "She's Japanese."

"She's pretty, you got a foreign lover who surely looked up at you all the time not until you showed her the opposite." He expressed his dismay. "But I still feel sorry for you, son. Like what you said earlier, it seems like you got lost on the consequences of the stakes that was put upon you on your relationship with her."

"Do you still love her?"

He kept everything of his grandfather's advice in mind during the days that went by, including the last question that was posed to him and for which he is still unsure of the answer. He decided to give it some time for clarity even if there were some residual sentiments. He asked his cousin Dahyun, who is getting ready for their group schedule, a startling question during one of their video chats, even though Dahyun knew she would have it coming.

"Uhm... Dubu, is she there?"

"Who?"

"Momo."

"Yeah, but she went with Nayeon unnie on the cafeteria, why?"

"H- How is she doing, Dahyun-ah?" He questioned with a sorrowful tone.

Dahyun paused for a moment and just watched her cousin's misery displayed on the screen. She knew that until now he haven't gotten over her, but she didn't expected that he would spoke it out and make it known.

She knew YN to be very secretive of how he actually feels that's why she thought he would just rather do it through action, like what he did to Momo when he was loving her smoothly until the confusions took part.

But Dahyun isn't satisfied yet for that. She know that the two still haven't been getting along fine together and she hoped it'll come someday, and she believes that the only thing needed for that to happen is for her cousin to bravely show up and tell it all by himself to the woman he hurted the most.

"She's doing well, oppa. She's still laughing along with us... well we're trying to make her happy these days."

You nodded, relieved that Momo isn't suffering as much as you do today.

"But I don't know if it just because of us, because uhm... actually oppa- should I say it first to you?"

Dahyun's cautiousness grew an alarming tenseful feeling on him that is making him uncomfortable.

"Go ahead, i'll be fine." He said. Dahyun hoped the same. "Okay. Don't tell me you didn't let me be." Dahyun warned him one more time. "There's a guy who's courting Momo-unnie currently and based from how unnie is receiving his efforts, I think it's winning."

He heard enough and he became silent for a while. He knew it would be painful but he just let it sink in. He's the one who caused all of this to happen. It was all just a pure karma in return for him.

"Is that so?" He reacted bland. "That's great. I-I'm happy for the both of them in case... yeah." He smiled forcefully.

Dahyun clicked her tongue and sighed. "Oppa, you're hurting."

"As I should be."

The next days, his phase was on recollecting their memories together, in which he reminisce whenever he encounters something that Momo used to love before; he used to be in that place to witness it with his very own eyes.

Everywhere he goes, there's always one reason for him to remember her.

The kids he always entertain and taking care of. Momo loved children.

"Someday, if we will be lucky enough to get married. I want us to build a family with two kids! I hope we can have both a son and a daughter..."

The pig feet which was one of their foods for dinner. That is Momo's absolute favorite food she would be willing to die for.

"You should cook more jokbal, YN! This is so delicious!"

Their pictures together on his gallery that is almost full of her beautiful face. He opened one of the videos there which contains one of the clips they recorded during their anniversary.

He smiled as Momo kissed him on the lips and nuzzled her head on her neck. The next thing was soft and low, but her voice was always catchy for him to be able to hear it clearly.

This has to be the most anticipating turned devastating words you will ever remember from what she said.

Not only because this was like an oath for the goal to the next path he wanted to reach with her, but also because this will now end up instead in his imagination to haunt him with his guilt and definitely hers to occur with her desires.

"To more anniversaries and hopefully, a wedding in the future with you, YN. I love you."

Lastly are the peaches in the farm where he helps some of the farmers there to harvest and the dogs from the neighborhood who randomly visits his house were the ones to sum up everything that ties him back to her.

And in his last days in the Daegu province, he has finally see and understand everything clearly.

Before he rode the bus, he looked back at his grandpa who guided him to the bus stop.

"Remember the question you asked me about, grandpa. If I still do... love her?"

"Have you found the answer?"

"I do." He smiled. "And I promise you that I will try to make her hear my apology to her once I return to Seoul."

"Great for you, then. I wish you good luck, son."

They hugged together before they parted ways, with YN focused on his way back to the destination where his objective lies ahead.

A month after his departure from the province, he is back at Seoul where he is now currently looking for a place to work with these days.

Dahyun notified him one day that they'll be celebrating Jihyo's successful solo debut and she wants to bring him there because the girls misses him.

Hesitant at first that he knew that out of nine of them, Momo is the only one who doesn't want to see her, but he instead accepted for the sake of seeing his friends and to celebrate her special day when Dahyun assured him that Momo isn't like that to him anymore.

YN and Dahyun arrived at the restaurant together. The girls saw them from the table and they all cheered, except for Momo who is sitting there in silent and avoiding his sight. He noticed it and felt a bit unease as he entertains the rest.

And there, the two ex-couple finally saw each other again after quite a long time. Awkward at first, they still managed to greet each other when YN tried to test his courage for his plan tonight. Thankfully, Momo greeted him back shyly.

They ordered, congratulated Jihyo again for her success, talked a lot about how they've been doing, and ate their respective delicious foods to savor the precious time they're having together as a group.

As they went to enjoy the night by doing some videoke and chugging beers, YN noticed that Momo went outside to freshen up.

"Dahyun." He called the woman sitting beside her, munching some pizza. "It's time. I'll be right back." He said as they gazed at Momo's back facing them through her stance at the railings of the balcony.

"Be careful, okay? Make it sentimental and don't force if she can't have it all too well."

"Got it."

Dahyun patted him on the back before he stood up and carefully opened the sliding doors. He silently stepped towards Momo's figure, breathing becoming heavy, heartbeat rising rapidly.

He let out one last sigh before he began to confront the woman he wanted to meet and talk after months of waiting, recovering, and changing.

"Momo?"

She heard that familiar voice, she remembered what she told him almost a year ago, prompting her to try not to slip off on her character.

"Now you're just somebody that I used to know, YN."

Turning her body around, she finally has come to face to face with the man she tries to completely forget in her heart and mind.

"Yes?" She responded. It was cold and plain, and YN understand what he's putting himself into. He just had to let it go and proceed with his main intention for her.

"I know you don't want having me near you, but c-can I please just... please have a short moment with you?" He said. "It won't last long, I promise but if you don't want me... then, it's fine but I really wanted to say something very quick to you."

Momo was startled when YN called for him. From the way he acted, Momo is quite intrigued that this version of YN infront of her is now more cautious, kind and soft to her. This is almost like... a different person from the one he used to know-and endure- before.

Momo would be deceiving herself and she knows how awful it is to feel regretful to herself if she lets that, if she doesn't admit to herself that it actually made her convince and push her wants to atleast see or know something of himself in personal.

"Don't waste any more time. Go on." She granted him his request. Crossing her arms, she leaned on the railings and watched this poor, broken, and lonely man she used to hate seeing being like this.

"T-Thank you." He bowed a little and straightened his posture, breathing deeply before he proceed to let out everything he's been keeping to his chest. "I know I shouldn't be in here because I know you're still mad at me. I almost didn't attend but for the girls-"

"For the record, I'm not mad at you anymore." Momo seriously said. "I set it all aside, because like I said... I don't want nothing to do with you. You're a nobody to me now, but I'm just letting you for once as long as you prove what brought youself here with me and dare to come close with me after how we ended things together."

"I know about that, and that's why I'm just here to say one thing that I've never ever said to you.

I'm sorry."

Momo's eyes shut, biting her lip with her fist clenching after hearing that. "I'm sorry for everything. All I did was very wrong of me and I don't want you to force you to believe me but... I didn't intended to do that on you.

"I did love you from the first time I laid my eyes on you, to the time you gave back the same feelings as mine for you, and the beginning of our relationship together. I know I have been gotten cold to you as time passes but I want to clarify things that... it wasn't your fault at all, Momo. It was me."

Momo glared at him with a teary eyes. She hated it, but she had to recall all of the times she had to wonder every night why does this keep on happening and what did she do wrong that made him treat him with lack of affection. She wanted answers for a long time and gladly, the time has come for her to hear it straight away from the man responsible of putting her like that.

"I always wanted to be like you, on what you're doing for me and it's true. But I always look at myself lowly, thinking if what I'm doing rather wasn't enough for you." His voice began to crack, as his eyes became to get watery also from the immense emotions affecting him. "And instead of improving or sharing my worries to you, I chose rather to set you free from me. I did that, thinking it was for mercy but instead it looked like I wanted you to suffer more and it was so... so wrong for me to do so. I became so lost for that."

"I still love you up to this day, Momo." With that, both synchronizably cried from that words that they used to say to each other as a vow but now, it turns out to be a forbidden phrase for them to exchange anymore. "It's not that I didn't trust you it's just that... I was scared."

"My plead for you not to leave was true, I truly can't bear letting you go. But now, I think I believe that probably I deserve to be alone and unworthy of somebody's love to hold onto because what I did, I am willing to sacrifice my feelings for you, Momo."

"It hurts me so bad but I have to let you go now." He escaped a rough exhale before continuing. "I'm not going to plead for you to come back and ruin the happiness your getting with somebody else now. Again, I'm truly sorry again for rushing in our relationship, acting immature on times you needed my comfort and making you bring all the burden you never deserved to have to."

YN began to drop on his knees and positioned himself to kneel in front of Momo who was shocked at his action.

"YN! W-what are you doing, get up from there!" She dashed through him and lifted his body and in YN's disbelief, he made Momo envelope him into a longing and comforting embrace that belongs to one of the lovely things he wasted from an gracious woman like her.

They both sobbed in their own heartache and sympathized with their own struggles.

"I hate you for what you did to me YN but why!" Momo cried out. "Why did you kept it to yourself, huh?! Why did you let yourself struggling on your own?"

"You promised me that you'll try to be honest, but you didn't, and that made me think that being done with your fake love, I rather be going. You could've shared it all to me directly, I'm your girlfriend for god's sake, I could've helped you because I loved you!"

"I'm sorry.. I'm s-so sorry..."

Momo whined and screamed in a mixture of frustration, agony and disappointment for what their relationship had become and the complete clear revelations of how she got ended up suffocating and unpleased in his company.

"Get up." She helped him stand back to his wobbling weak legs again. "Finally you were now able to reflect yourself and tell to me that one words I just wanted to hear from you. I just wanted you to be accountable and say sorry to me.", Momo said, clarifying the last words she told to him back then.

"But now that you did and I've heard and seen enough your sincerity..." She grasped him in the shoulders and stared at him with a broken smile. "I forgive you, YN."

He nodded and cried again, finally getting the remorse and acceptance that he's been yearning and searching for months after realizing what he's done. "Thank you. I'm sorry again, Momo."

"That'll be your last, it's fine now." Momo warned him as he fixed his messy hair and wiped away his tears.

"I just have one more question to ask."

"What is it?"

"Have I... been a nice girlfriend to you?"

He stared at Momo's awaiting, curious and softened face. A teardrop flowed for one final time, to drain out every bit of pain he consumed.

He grabbed the back of her neck and gently pulled her close to land a tender kiss on her forehead. "You did more than enough for me, Momo. You're a great woman that I wasted the unconditional love you've been giving by being ungrateful and selfish, and I will forever bring that regret with me."

Momo timidly smiled for him and stepped away from his contact. Wanting to end this emotional moment between each other to avoid ruining the fun night, she came up something to talk with. "I know you have quite shared this with the girls earlier but I just wanted to know myself, how have you been doing these days?"

"I'm good, I'm still on my road to improve myself. I couldn't stand to let others see and continue to be the same guy that you used to encounter." He finally flashed the first bright smile for Momo away from their problems. Momo was proud and touched for his efforts and dedication that she implemented on him. "And you?"

"I'm happy. Even happier now that we've settled things peacefully."

"I've heard from Dahyun that there's this guy who's been seeing you these days, huh. How is he doing for you?"

Momo was taken back that he had to learn about that and mention it. "H-He's fine, but I want to make it clear to him that I don't want to be in a relationship yet." she shyly said.

"How about you? Will you be okay? Are you... gonna look for somebody to have an interest with?" Momo wondered.

"No, I don't think I will." He stated. "I'm not scared, I just want to be careful. I think it's better for me not to engage in this romance thing anymore, you know? I have learnt from my mistakes now." She understood and didn't spoke any further despite still having this pint of pity for the fallen man.

"And... why should I look for other, when you're still the one I choose?"

Momo stared at him, she blushed and uncontrollably smiled in an embarassed way after hearing that glimpse of the charming YN that never disappeared from him.

She spreaded her arms wholesomely and looked at her with a smile.

"I know I've said that I wanted to disregard your existence but... I didn't want to be cruel now that I've heard your side and I'm sorry for that because I have to admit...

Although you broke my heart, I still couldn't deny the truth that you're one of the most important person I've met and the first man who helped me explore how love could led us into elsewhere.

You still made me happy, YN. I can't just have it easy to throw you out of my life so... should we be friends again?"

He listened to her patiently and it was overwhelming in the end. "I don't deserve this at all, but I'm highly grateful to take it, Momo. Let's start fresh again." He shook his head and smiled.

You accepted her hug one more time and both took time to indulge how great it must felt've again to their part that they don't have to try pretend, carry a hatred, and keep their unspoken troubles for theirselves.

They are now freed from their own personal chaos and has now created a clean slate of their closeness and connection to each other.

They returned back together where they are approached by the girls who've been watching their melancholic yet heartfelt moment they shared in which they paused their fun to express their happiness for their friends on burying the hatchet between each other.

Both learning that they are currently happy with their own lives and has finally washed away their conflict, they realized that somehow helped each other to realize that maybe having a crazy stupid love with somebody was never really required to be happy and contented in life.

#twice #twice momo #momo #hirai momo #twice momo x m reader #twice momo x male reader #twice x m reader #twice x male reader #twice au #twice fanfic #twice one shot #kpop au #kpop fanfic #kpop oneshots

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luvhughes43 · 10 months

Text

vicious | trevor zegras x reader

luvhughes43 masterlist🌷

summary: media girl for the ducks, trev and her start hooking up + secret relationship but he tells people it’s not true & ruins her image in the process

lyrics: "oh, you're so vicious love me then pretend you didn't, crush my heart and wreck my image, why you gotta be so vicious?

word count: 1.5k

One year, ten thousand bad moments

But it was dressed up in heated emotion

And I tried to look for the best in the worst

But like, fuck me, that caused a commotion

you knew that what you and trevor were doing could end badly. but with every soft kiss, and tug, all your worries melted away.

you had been working for the ducks as a photographer ever since your internship ended with them a few years back. therefore, you made sure not to let yours and trevor's relationship slip to your coworkers and trevor's teammates.you hadn’t bothered to read over your contract or work policies because who was going to know? it had never been serious with trevor. you’d meet up, hook up, and then that was that until the next time.

you were secretly seeing him after practices. your camera long forgotten when trevor first asked you to meet at his place to “spice up my instagram”. it was all so easy. your routine was quickly set in stone after the first few meetups. when jamie went to the gym trevor was calling you up. when you were free of your photography duties you would sneak trevor into your office… it was reckless but worth it.

you knew now that you should've been more careful. not with how secretive you were being, because you had never been caught. but careful in the sense that trevor was a traitor.

Oh, you're so vicious

Love me, then pretend you didn't

Crush my heart and wreck my image

Why you gotta be so vicious?

“i love you so much yn” Trevor mumbled into your skin as you laid tangled up in his bedsheets. you ran your hands through his hair, savouring the sweet moment.

“yeah so she thinks i’m in love with her or something,” Trevor laughs, his shoulders rising up and down like a comic book character. you would’ve smiled at the action if he wasn’t talking badly about you. “It’s kind of unprofessional if i’m being honest… i mean yns hot but…” he trails off chuckling. you couldn't gauge his teammates reactions to his statements.

you felt your face burn up with embarrassment as Trevor continued his spiel about how you were apparently obsessed with him. as if he wasn’t the one always calling you up whenever he got too lonely.

“have we slept together? no, of course not. she wants to though. i bet she’d beg me if i gave her the time of day”

“you should've seen how she was looking at me yesterday… it's crazy man! i'm surprised she hasn't gotten fired yet”

“do i mind that she’s obsessed? nah i mean the girls love me i’m used to it,” his eyes were crinkling from the wide smile plastered on his face, shoulders shaking with laughter as he and his friends joked at your expense.

Said that it was me and you for life

Now you're kinda actin' like I died

word of what trevor had said about you had gotten around. lies that started with loud discussions with teammates turned into your coworkers overhearing, which turned into long HR reports.

4 days after the first lie was uttered you were brought into your bosses office. she hadn’t cared about your side of things. his word was always going to be more trustworthy than yours. you were fired that day.

you had tried to seek trevor out as soon as you left your ex bosses office. your hands were shaking and your lip was quivering as you walked through random hallways.

you heard his voice before you saw him. you couldn't exactly make out what he and whoever he was with was saying, but you knew he was laughing.

rounding the corner you saw him. trevor was talking to one of the media girls. one of his hands was resting playfully on her arm while she giggled at whatever he had said. you felt sick.

trevor met your eyes and his immediately widened. his hand fell from the girls arm and he brought it up to run through his hair.

“trevor, I need to talk to you,” your voice was shaky but strong nonetheless. at your tone, the girl looked between you and trevor with clear apprehension in her eyes.

trevor clearly picked up on this. “uhh, y/n im sure we can talk later yeah?” he said, sending a quick smile to the girl standing next to him.

“i need to talk to you now,” you pushed ahead, knowing that if you stopped talking your composure would slip and you'd start sobbing in the hallway.

trevor sighed, as if he had the right to be annoyed with you. he smiled apologetically at the girl again before he let you lead the way back to your office.

You don't feel remorse, you don't feel the effects

'Cause you don't think you hurt me if you wish me the best

“look yn, i’m really sorry this happened but,” trevor started but you cut him off.

“oh you're sorry huh?” you spit out, hands shaking with anger.

“i just want you to know that i wish you the best” he continued, clearly ignoring your anger.

“i was fired! trevor, I was fired because you decided it would be fun to ruin my reputation!” you burst out, voice rising as you let all of your frustration out.

he rolled his eyes, “yeah i get that and i’ve said sorry. i don’t know what else you want me to do” trevor said, stuffing his hands in his pants pocket and leaning back against your office door. which you guess wasn’t really yours anymore.

you couldn’t believe what you were hearing. you closed your eyes for a minute to try and breathe through all the anger coursing through your veins, but trevors need to constantly be moving and making noise only aggravated you further.

you sighed, opening your eyes again to see trevor tapping his foot impatiently against the carpeted floor. “‘i don't know what else you want me to do!’” you mimicked trevor in a high pitched voice. “i want you to tell my boss that you were wrong! That you lied! how could you do this to me? what am i supposed to do now?” you seethed, completely forgetting your strategies to calm yourself down. you had thought trevor was different when you two started hooking up. everyone seemed to have loved him, the media adored him, fans well… they’re divided but all in all… he seemed like the perfect guy on paper. but in reality, he was just vicious.

“okay calm down,” trevor says sternly, raising his hands up in surrender. “i didn't try to get you fired on purpose! it just happened” his defence was pathetic and you laughed humorlessly.

“yeah well what are you going to do about it?” you questioned him, anger still present in your voice as you glared at him.

“there's literally nothing i can do that's why i apologized”

“there's a thousand things you can do! tell everyone you lied!” you were on the verge of yelling and so trevor gently shut the door.

“if i tell everyone i was making things up, i dont have anyone's trust. you've gotta understand that my image is important here and-” trevor was talking but your ears were ringing. he wouldn't come clean because his image was important? what about yours? you were now unemployed, and your reputation would be forever ruined. it would be one thing if news had gotten out that you were seeing trevor. but now everyone thinks that you're obsessed with him. people were staring at you weirdly in the halls, whispering when you walked by. you couldn't stand the sight of him.

“get out.”

“y/n what?” trevor steps back, clearly not anticipating for you to be as angry as you were.

“i said get out. i don't need your worthless apologies and explanations of why you wont help me” your voice was raised and trevor raised his arms up in defence again.

“im sorry like-” he starts but you once again cut him off.

“GET OUT!” you yell, walking over to your office door and yanking it open. a few of your coworkers were lingering outside and you could feel their heated gaze on you. you shoved trevor out of the room regardless, ignoring all the chatter outside as you slammed the door shut again.

white hot tears blurred your vision as you sank down to the floor. You brought your knees up to your chest and wrapped your arms around them. you had never felt so defeated before. your dream job was gone, and any future you had in photography would be tainted by trevors false claims.

Oh, you're so vicious

I loved you but I wish I didn't

If you're out there somewhere listenin'

Why you gotta be so vicious?

you sat and cried until you were sore, wanting nothing more than to erase trevor zegras from your life.

#sabrina masterlist #trevor zegras x reader #trevor zegras imagine #trevor zegras fic #nhl fanfiction #nhl imagine #nhl blurb #nhl fic

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sophies-junkyard · 8 months

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NOBODY ASKED but… Obviously Simon’s arc in adventure time solidified the series as one of greatest of all time (and I’m so hyped for this ice king sadness renaissance) but now I’m thinking of OTHER Adventure Time moments that rewired my brain as a kid. In no particular order:

1. “Once the strong guys got it how they liked it they said ‘this is fair now. This is the law.’ Once they were winning they changed the rules”. They really had the cartoon dog say that on tv in 2014.

2. “People get built different. We don’t have to understand it, we just gotta respect it”

3. The entirety of All The Little People. That shit was absolutely nuts for a kids show but also like…. I can’t articulate the lesson I just know there was one and it haunted me. The danger of the human ego. Hubris. Irreverence. Don’t play god bro.

4. Lady and Peebles. When PB ripped Ricardio’s leg off and bashed his skull in with it. And it was so hardcore they edited it out of the episode. Bro. I remember watching that after school one day and how my jaw just DROPPED at a PRINCESS being so brutal. They let her be so fucking angry and that was a game changer.

5. [Finn, about a horrific memory] “that one’s going in the vault. Aaaaaaaaaandd. It’s gone.” I quote that CONSTANTLY. It’s a great way to bring levity to a bad situation, but also forces me to go “hey wait a sec that’s not gonna work forever”. Things don’t stay in the vault.

6. Puhoy. He lived an entire life in that pillow world. He had kids. And then it’s just gone like a dream.

7. The deer. It was probably my first real introduction to horror. The hand wiggle. You all know exactly what I’m referencing. Were the candy people stuck in that well for 6 months???

8. What Was Missing!! Obviously now because it foreshadowed (and confirmed past) Bubbline, but back then just because it was so good??? IMO, this is the episode that defined WHO our main cast was, and how their relationships needed to grow for them to be content. It set up the next 6 years of the show! Plus it gave us 2 absolute BANGERS. Ugh i rewatched that recording so many times it wasn’t even funny.

9. Ghost Princess. Really just for the line where he sounds like he’s gonna shit his pants remembering his death and then in a clear narrator voice he’s like “I was a broken man.”

10. The pajama war episode. Now I’m doing this from memory so I could be wrong, but I think this really marks the start of Finn growing up. “I’ve really enjoyed just… hanging out with you.” The ability to start over with someone you’ve got complicated history with. The kindness. The growth from both of them!! It’s a direct parallel of episode 1 but their tones couldn’t be more different and I love it.

11. The slow and horrifying realization that The Mushroom War was nuclear Armageddon. Mushroom clouds. That went so far over my head as a kid even though they reference it constantly. It finally clicked during “I remember you”. Which I am NOT gonna go into because holy fuck that’s like 18 posts on its own.

12. Goliad! A child mirroring EVERYTHING they see, for better or worse. Seeing Jake in a bad moment screaming at the kids and goliad absorbing that behavior. Seeing she can use fear to control people. Also PB was Fucking Crazy! Her line “I’m not gonna live forever… I would if I could” is even more unhinged when we learn (like years later) that she’s already 900 years old. But she does physically age so I guess there’s that. The Suitor also falls into this category of episodes.

Ok getting into some of the more talked about moments

1. OK I LIED I have to talk about I remember you. I was 11 years old. I turned on the new adventure time episode like usual. 10 minutes later I was grappling with a grief I had never imagined before. Absolutely BAWLING not just for Simon and Marceline (the PLOT), but for what it showed me. The reality that every kid tries not to think about: your loved ones will leave you someday, even if they don’t want to. It’s an episode that becomes more powerful with every year I get older. To get a bit personal, dementia has completely taken my grandparents from me. I’ve seen sides of my grandfather that should never have existed, and I must constantly forgive him for what he does… now that he doesn’t remember me. And someday it’ll be my parents. That’s just the way of the world, ya know? Anyways, I remember my mom got home right as the credits were rolling and we had a long talk about keeping people alive with memory, mortality, and how the future was far away and we should decide on dinner lmao.

2. The Hall of Egress. I was almost 15. Life was changing. I was changing, and it was strange and frightening. That feeling where you know you’re losing your childhood but you just want to cling to it. Follow the same old familiar path, stick with what’s comfortable. But life doesn’t work that way. It took me years to really understand this episode and it’s symbolism. Honestly I still don’t think I could fully explain it. It’s like. How do I put this. I was so glad to be in the target age group in that moment. I was so glad that something I was growing up with was assuring me “you’re changing, but we’re changing too”. And isn’t that the theme of adventure time? Everything stays, but it still changes.

3. The absolute horror of Ferns existence. He’s Finn, but he’s wrong and warped. All those memories of the people he loves and they can’t stand to be in the same room as him.

4. Susan Strong. The introduction of a RUNNING PLOT. The show up to that point had really been so goofy and so monster of the week. I think the only really plot heavy episode before this one was It Came From the Nightosphere? And then suddenly they call into question the fact that Finn really is the ONLY HUMAN in all of OOO. And then… is he? It was SUCH a departure from the usual tone. Ending that episode with him reaching below her hat and gasping in shock, but never telling the audience what he found. And then she’s just gone. Which leads us to Islands!

5. Min and Marty. Second saddest episode in the entirety of adventure time, made worse because you know exactly how this family is gonna end up. There’s SO MUCH to dissect about Martins behavior in the series. A reformed con artist receives a traumatic brain injury while attempting to save his son. They’re both lost at sea, and he never looks for him. Was it the emotional trauma? Was it the physical damage? Meanwhile a mother loses her husband and her child in a single night and never EVER learns why. Nobody but Martin knows what happened that night. Also Finns fear of the ocean from season 1 is finally explained. 7 years of ignoring Finns origins and then they throw you THIS??? Watching it live was unreal.

Anyways I’m sure I’ll think of more. I might add on to this later for my own sake lmao, but I’d love to hear other peoples formative moments, quotes, episodes, etc. I really just needed to dump this information out of my brain so I can get on with my week.

#If you see this you’re obligated to comment an adventure time moment that lives rent free in your head #or don’t it’s your life babe #I have nobody in my life who has watched adventure time and therefore I must ramble here to myself #adventure time #princess bubblegum #marceline #ice king #finn the human #fern #Fionna and cake #this is my life #bubbline

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