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ailendolin · 4 months

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The Little Match Girl - A Disstari Fic

Title: The Little Match Girl [AO3]

Characters: Dissectus/Votlari, Ho-Tan, Alvin, Irk

Summary: On New Year's Eve, Dissectus and Voltari find a little girl selling matches in an alley. A simple act of kindness changes their lives forever.

A/N 1: Explanations for the Youngers’ names can be found in here.

A/N 2: This is set in a universe where Voltari and Dissectus changed sides and helped Debbie and the Elders defeat Cuddly Dick.

————

The Little Match Girl

Dissectus could not say what had compelled him to turn his head and look into the snowy alley. It was the last day of the year and he and Voltari were on their way to Mary and Jenny’s shop to pick up something for Ho-Tan when he happened to glance to his right and notice a little girl with fair hair, bare feet and dirty clothes sitting on the cold ground, half-hidden in the shadows of the houses towering above her. She was holding a bundle of matches in her shaking hands, and when Dissectus noticed the crudely made sign at her feet that announced, Matches for Sale, his steps faltered.

Several feet ahead of him, Voltari stopped and looked over his shoulder.

“What’s wrong?” he asked. His gaze followed Dissectus’s into the alley. “Oh.”

People hurried past them, busy with last minute errands and completely unaware of the little girl in the cold. Dissectus had witnessed the same thing in Afarland more often than he could count. There had been nothing he could do about it back then, not if he didn’t want to lose his authority among the other Overlords. But it had never sat right with him. Seeing the same thing happening here now, in Yonderland, the one land that had only so briefly felt the horrors of Overlord rule and should be safe, made him clench his fists at his sides. Children were supposed to be running around and filling the streets with laughter, not sitting alone in the cold, desolate and shivering. Not here. Not anywhere, but especially not here.

He had been in the little girl’s situation once, a long time ago when he’d still been foolish enough to think he could argue with his father. His father had taken one hard look at him and kicked him out onto the streets in the middle of winter. Dissectus had lasted two days out in the freezing cold before he’d swallowed his pride and come crawling back to his father’s doorstep to beg for forgiveness. It had been a brutally taught lesson in obedience, and one he’d silently vowed to never repeat with his own children.

He might not be a father yet – and given how his pulse always sped up when Voltari smiled at him he didn’t think he ever would be – but that didn’t mean his heart was made of stone. Reaching into his pocket, he felt for the coins he’d set aside to buy some extra fireworks for the Youngers before he glanced up at Voltari. They had known each other for so long now that words were not necessary between them, not in a situation like this. Voltari could read him like an open book, and Dissectus’s heart warmed with unbelievable fondness when Voltari simply nodded and let one of his own hands glide into his pocket in search for coins.

Together, they left the busy square and stepped into the alley. With the wind relentlessly blowing around the corner it was colder there than out in the open, and darker too. The snow crunched under their feet as they slowly made their way over to the little girl. They were both aware of how intimidating they could look, even without the heavy make-up and golden eye piece. Children, with the exception from the Elders’ Youngers, were usually quite wary of them when they saw them but instead of fear the little match girl’s face lit up with hope when they approached. Hastily, her numb fingers pulled more matches out of her ragged apron and held them up for them to see.

“Would you like to buy a match, sirs?” she asked brightly. Her voice was almost trembling as much as her fingers were.

Her face fell when Dissectus knelt down in front of her and shook his head. Gently, he took one of her hands in his and pushed the warm coins into her palm. “Keep your matches, child.”

Her eyes widened. She looked like she was going to cry when Voltari took her other hand and gave her his coins too. “Go home, little one. It is not safe to be outside in this cold.”

She looked between them, unable to believe her luck, before she smiled shyly and ducked her head. “Thank you, sirs.”

“You’re welcome,” Dissectus said and pushed himself to his feet. After one last glance at the girl, he forced himself to turn around and walk away. He had done all he could – that’s what he kept telling himself as he and Voltari continued on their way to Mary and Jenny’s shop. But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t get the little girl’s pale face out of his head. It seemed neither could Voltari.

“Do you think she’ll be all right?” he asked softly when they crossed the market square.

Dissectus sighed. “I hope so.”

“She wasn’t much older than Irk,” Voltari noted.

“I know,” Dissectus said before he forced a smile onto his face and entered the shop. If Jenny noticed something was off, she didn’t show it. Her greeting was as bright as ever as was her smile as she scurried off to the back to get Ho-Tan’s order for them.

“It’s paid for already,” she said when she came back and handed them the small package. “Anything else you need? We still have some firework dragons from Hitherland left if you’re interested…?”

“Apologies, Jenny. Not today,” Voltari said and bowed his head gracefully.

Jenny shrugged. “No worries. Have a lovely new year’s celebration, you two!”

Dissectus found his smile was a little more genuine when he said, “You as well. Say hi to Mary from us.”

“Will do!” Jenny said happily and waved them goodbye.

After the warmth of the shop, the cold felt even more biting when they stepped back out onto the street. For a brief moment, Dissectus was tempted to reach for Voltari’s hand. He kept dreaming of such impossible things more and more lately, and it was maddening because he knew Voltari would never allow this. Not that Dissectus could fault him for that. A lifetime of having to hide everything that made them look weak and vulnerable – or, in one word, human – was hard to shake off. It’s why alarm bells went off in Dissectus’s head every time a touch or look between them lingered too long. They still made it difficult to take that one final step over the edge they’d been teetering on for months now and bring them closer together than ever before. Dissectus wanted to, though. Gods, how he wanted.

He forced himself to look away from Voltari’s elegant fingers and firmly put his hands into his pockets. They should have brought some gloves, he thought when he saw a small group of children throwing snowballs at each other. He was just about to offer to carry Ho-Tan’s order for a while so Voltari could warm his hands up in his pockets when Voltari suddenly stopped beside him. “Dissectus.”

Dissectus knew what he would be seeing even before he followed Voltari’s gaze towards the alley. The little match girl was still sitting in the snow, right where they’d left her 20 minutes ago. She had lit one of her precious matches and was looking at it dreamily. Its small flame threw shadows across her face and even from a distance Dissectus could see that her eyes were worryingly glassy.

The match went out. With shaking hands, the little girl lit another one and held it as close to her chest as she dared to chase what little warmth it offered. A serene smile was pulling at her lips as she watched the flickering light dance in the wind. She didn’t react when it reached her fingers and licked at her skin, and before he even knew what he was doing, Dissectus was running across the square. He crashed onto his knees in front of the girl just as the flame went out and her small body listed to the side.

“Gods dammit,” he cursed, managing to catch her just before she hit the ground. Her eyes had rolled into the back of her head and he tapped her cheeks to wake her up – gently at first, and then a little harder. There was no reaction. Even though her skin was icy cold she was no longer shivering – a bad sign, he knew.

“Why didn’t she go home?” Voltari hissed angrily as he hurriedly took off his cloak to wrap it around the girl. With a dull thud, Ho-Tan’s order fell into the snow beside him, momentarily forgotten. “We told her to go home!”

Dissectus knew his anger was not truly directed at the girl. She was just a child. If anyone was to blame for this, it was them. They should have made sure she went home. They should have made sure she was safe. This was their fault, like so many other tragedies had been over the years.

“We need to take her somewhere warm,” he said, knowing the child in his arms could not afford their guilt right now.

“We don’t know where she lives,” Voltari pointed out before he took off his scarf as well and wrapped it around the girl’s head. “The Chamber is her best shot.”

Dissectus nodded. With all the shops closing down now for the celebrations now, the Chamber was the closest and safest place they could take her. “Agreed.”

With that, he pushed himself to his feet and tried not to think about how light the girl felt in his arms. Readjusting his hold on her, he watched how Voltari first picked up the board game and then the hand-drawn sign and dropped matches as well. The gesture made his heart ache. A year ago, a small act of kindness like that would have painted a target on their backs. Now it came as natural as breathing to them. He’d always known Voltari was capable of gentleness but seeing it displayed so openly, without shame or second thought, forced him to swallow twice before he could say, “Let’s go.”

They walked back home as quickly as possible. The little girl’s lips were beginning to turn a frightening shade of blue despite the warm coat she was now bundled up in, and Dissectus didn’t even dare to think about the state of her poor hands and feet. Who knew how long she had been sitting there in the cold, desperately trying to sell her matches while everyone went about their lives just a few feet away, ignoring her. If only they’d made sure she went home…

When the Elders’ Chamber finally came into view after fifteen minutes, Dissectus breathed a sigh of relief. It was only when Voltari fumbled with the key in an uncharacteristic moment of clumsiness that he realised the little girl in his arms wasn’t the only one in need of warming up. He hadn’t noticed before but during their brisk walk home, Voltari’s fingertips had turned almost as blue as her lips from the cold. It made him realise how much of a miracle it truly was that the girl had managed to hold on for as long as she had.

Finally, the lock clicked and Voltari pushed the door open. Trusting him to inform the Elders and call a doctor, Dissectus went directly to his chamber where he knew warm bedding and a lit fireplace were waiting for them. He had just placed the little girl onto the bed and pulled the blankets up around her when Ho-Tan came into his room, Voltari right behind her.

“We need to undress her,” she said without preamble. “If her clothes are as wet as his–“ She pointed at Voltari, “–they will suck the heat right out of her and she’ll never get warm.”

“But I’m a … I can’t,” Dissectus said, feeling mortified. He couldn’t just undress a little girl.

Ho-Tan huffed impatiently and pushed him out of the way. “Then get him out of his wet clothes. We don’t need two people suffering from hypothermia tonight.”

The thought of undressing Voltari was even more unnerving than that of undressing a child that was not his. Not that Dissectus would ever admit that to anyone.

“I’m fine,” Voltari said and backed away even before Dissectus could so much as turn to look at him. Knowing the defensive tone of his voice only too well, Dissectus made no move to follow him when he left the room. At least not immediately. He reckoned they both needed a moment to gather themselves before care and concern could be appreciated.

So he simply remained standing where he was, with his back to the bed as Ho-Tan undressed the girl, until young Alvin skidded into the room breathlessly. “Here are some of my old night shirts, Mum.”

Ho-Tan flashed her son a small, strained smile. “Thank you, love. Is the doctor on her way?”

Alvin nodded. “Dad is waiting for her at the door.”

“Good. Go wait with him,” Ho-Tan said. For a moment, only the sound of rustling clothes filled the air. Then she breathed a sigh of relief. “There. All done.”

Dissectus chanced a glance over his shoulder. The girl was dressed in a warm, pink flannel night shirt that made her look even younger than her worn clothes had. He walked over to the bed and helped Ho-Tan tuck her in. “Isn’t there anything else we can do?”

“I’d rather wait until the doctor is here before we take more drastic measures to warm her up,” Ho-Tan said. There was a worried frown on her face when she looked down at the little girl. “How did this happen, Dissectus? Voltari said you found her in an alley?”

It was only part of the story so Dissectus gave her the full rundown. With every word he said the worry on Ho-Tan’s face deepened until the crease between her eyebrows seemed to have become permanent. She shook her head in disbelief and disgust when he’d finished his tale. “No parent should send their child outside to work in weather like this.”

“No parent should send their child to work at all,” Dissectus reminded her.

Ho-Tan sighed. “True.”

Hearing the sound of footsteps, they both turned to the door. Just a moment later, the doctor burst into the room. She was a small but intimidating person; her hair was grey, she had a stern face and Dissectus could tell she had a no nonsense attitude even before she looked at him and sent him out of his own bedroom with a curt, “Out. I need room to work.”

He liked her immediately.

Knowing the girl was in the best of hands now, he left without protest. There was only one place for him to go; only one person who needed him more than her in that moment.

Gently, Dissectus knocked on Voltari’s door and waited for permission to enter.

“Come in,” Voltari called.

He had changed out of his wet clothes into a well-worn pair of trousers and a warm, knitted pullover Ho-Tan had gifted him for Thanktival only a few days ago, and Dissectus was momentarily stunned by how different he looked. The clothes softened the sharp angles of his face, making him look younger and, dare he say it, more vulnerable than he truly was. Just like the girl, he wasn’t shivering anymore but the stark contrast of the dark scars around his eye against his pale face betrayed the lingering cold.

Once again, Dissectus’s hands itched to reach out and chase it away.

“How are you doing?” he asked instead and carefully closed the door behind him.

Voltari shrugged, fighting against the instinct to lie. “Not as bad as her.”

Dissectus sighed and gathered up the woollen blanket from the bed. Without breaking eye contact, he slowly closed the distance between them and wrapped the warm material around Voltari’s shoulders. He didn’t say anything and he didn’t let go; just silently gazed at Voltari. After a moment’s hesitation, Voltari’s hands came up to cover his own. They were cold, far colder than Dissectus had thought, and he let his thumb caress some warmth back into them, knowing the touch would be welcome now.

“How is she?” Voltari whispered into the heavy silence that hung between them.

“The doctor is with her now,” Dissectus said and continued the gentle circular motions. “They will let us know if there is any change. Good or bad.”

Voltari nodded gravely. He glanced down at their hands, his face unreadable. When he looked back up, his dark eyes were full of pain. “She’s shouldn’t have been out there, Dissectus. She’s so young – too young.”

“I know, Tari,” Dissectus murmured. “I know.”

He had no idea how long they stood there like this, hands clasped under the pretence of holding the blanket in place, lost in each other’s eyes. They both startled when there was a knock on the door, and Dissectus felt panic well up inside him. He’d let his guard down. He knew better than that, knew better than to give in to selfish desires that left them both open to an attack and–

“Voltari, Dissectus? It’s me,” Ho-Tan said quietly and just like that, the world righted itself and all the tension drained from him. Glancing up at Voltari, Dissectus saw the same relief on his face, the same terrible understanding of what had just happened, and couldn’t help but wonder if they would ever break free of these old fears.

With one last squeeze, Voltari untangled their hands and Dissectus took that as his cue to take a step back and bring some distance between them. “Come in.”

Ho-Tan’s head peaked around the door. The worried crease between her eyebrows had given way to exhausted relief, and Dissectus felt his shoulders tense with tentative hope. “How is she?”

“She’ll be fine,” Ho-Tan told them, and Dissectus was glad she didn’t beat around the bush. “We need to keep a close eye on her fingers and toes, though. The doctor said it’s too soon to tell if she’ll lose any. But she’s awake now, and she’s asking for you.”

“Both of us?” Voltari asked, surprised.

Ho-Tan gave him a bemused look. “You’ve both saved her life, haven’t you?”

“Yes, but – she was practically unconscious by the time we found her,” Voltari said, allowing a hint of emotion into his voice.

“She was aware enough,” Ho-Tan reassured him. “Her name is Maya, by the way.”

“Maya,” Dissectus said softly. Just like that, she was no longer the little match girl they had found freezing in an alley – she was Maya, beautifully alive and awake. He felt a smile pulling at his lips and wondered if this was how the Elders felt every time one of their Youngers was sick. A roller-coaster ride of tightly-coiled worry, tense hope and finally unbound relief when the worst was over. Because it was staggering.

Voltari gently caught his arm, bringing him out of his thoughts. “You go ahead. I’ll be with you once I…”

He gestured at the scars around his dull, grey eye and Dissectus knew immediately what he meant: he’d join them once he’d put his eye patch back on. It was currently hanging above the fireplace to dry, along with the rest of Voltari’s wet clothes, and the thought of him hiding himself away now made something twist in Dissectus’s stomach.

Knowing he had to be cautious, he said softly, “I’m sure she won’t mind.”

Voltari hesitated. The fact that he didn’t outright say no was a surprise given how sensitive he was about other people seeing his eye uncovered, especially children. Of the Youngers, only Alvin and Irk had seen him without his eye patch before, and that had not been deliberate. Luckily, the two had barely remarked on it but Dissectus knew Voltari had blamed himself for his carelessness for weeks after.

“Tari,” he said and waited for Voltari to look at him. He gave him an encouraging smile. “She wants to see us both.”

Voltari sighed and Dissectus knew he had won even before Voltari said, “Very well.”

His smile softened and, unable to resist, he placed a comforting hand on Voltari’s arm before they followed Ho-Tan down the hallway. “It’s going to be okay. Trust me.”

He had said the same thing to him before – once, when Voltari had woken up after the attack on his life to discover his eyesight was gone, and a second time just before he’d faked his death and left Voltari behind to spy on Cuddly Dick. He’d kept his promise both times and, judging by the way the tension around his eyes eased a little, Voltari remembered that as well.

The sound of familiar laughter came from his room and Ho-Tan stopped, hand outstretched towards the door handle, with a frown on her face.

“I told Alvin to stay with Maya,” she explained. “Irk, however, is supposed to be with his father.”

Dissectus gave her an amused look. “Are you really surprised he sneaked into the room?”

Ho-Tan sighed and shook her head. “No, I suppose not. I’ll take them both with me to the Chamber. You’ll be all right with Maya on your own, won’t you? I know we were planning on welcoming the new year together but she can’t go home, not yet, and you know Vex and the others will be hopelessly overwhelmed with the preparations if I–“

“It’s all right,” Voltari interrupted her gently. “We don’t mind.”

Dissectus nodded. There was no way they would be leaving the little girl alone a second time today.

“Thank you,” Ho-Tan breathed in relief. “I’ll make sure you get some food and look in on you first thing in the morning. And I will send word to her parents. They probably won’t care but they should know she is okay.”

A part of Dissectus wanted to argue that they didn’t owe Maya’s parents anything. As far as he was concerned, those people had lost their right to call themselves parents the moment they sent the little girl out into the bitter cold. Voltari seemed to agree if the way his hand tightened around the blanket was anything to go by. And yet Ho-Tan was right. They were obligated to contact Maya’s parents, whether they liked it or not.

After a quiet knock on the old wooden door, they stepped into the room. Three pairs of wide and curious eyes turned to stare at them. Alvin gave them all a little wave while Irk greeted his mother with a sheepish, “Hi, Mum.”

“Does your father know you’re here?” Ho-Tan asked with one perfectly raised eyebrow.

Irk’s grin only wavered a little. “Maybe?”

He said it so innocently that Dissectus would have laughed if he hadn’t spent his whole life training not to show his emotions. Ho-Tan had never had that kind of training. She tried to look stern but in the end, she couldn’t help the fondness creeping into her voice when she said, “You’re a menace, Irk.”

Irk laughed and wrapped his arms around her waist. “But you love me anyway. Right?”

Ho-Tan’s eyes softened and she hugged him back. “Of course I do.”

It didn’t escape Dissectus’s notice that the little girl – Maya, he reminded himself – looked longingly at the two of them. It confirmed his suspicions: there were no hugs where she came from, no bedtime stories, no kisses on bruised knees to make the pain go away. Her childhood was a loveless one, just like and Voltari’s had been. How could they possibly send her back to that?

“Now say goodnight to Maya, you two, so we can go make sure your dad and uncles don’t blow up the Chamber with the fireworks,” Ho-Tan said, unaware of Dissectus’s turmoil.

Obediently, Alvin and Irk did as they were told. It was sweet to see them both give Maya a hug and promise her they’d be back tomorrow morning to play some more. They obviously didn’t care where she had come from, whether or not her family was rich or influential or how unkempt she looked. All they saw was a friend, and not for the first time Dissectus found himself wishing he could have grown up like them, unbiased and kind.

He wasn’t surprised when the two Youngers gave him and Voltari a quick but heartfelt hug as well before Ho-Tan shooed them out of the room.

“See you tomorrow, little ones,” Voltari called after them. “Enjoy the celebrations.”

“We will!” Alvin waved back. “Goodnight!”

He closed the door behind him and Dissectus finally turned his full attention on Maya. She was still tucked up to her chin under several layers of blankets but even in the dim light of the bedside lamp he could tell that her face had lost the deathly pallor from before. There was a rosy hue to her cheeks now, undoubtedly the result of one of Wizard Bradley’s magical remedies judging by the bottle of medicine on the nightstand, and her dark blue eyes were beautifully alert when she looked up at them.

“Hello,” Dissectus said softly. “My name is Dissectus and this is–“

“Mr Voltari,” Maya smiled shyly. “Miss Ho-Tan told me. You saved my life. Thank you.”

Not used to other people’s gratitude, let alone children’s, Dissectus turned to Voltari, hoping he would know what to say but Voltari looked just as much at a loss as he did. He had angled his head in such a way that the left side of his face was turned away from Maya – a subtle, heart-breaking choice that made Dissectus’s heart ache – and the hand not holding the blanket in place was rhythmically clenching and unclenching at his side. He wanted to argue, Dissectus realised. He wanted to tell the little girl that they hadn’t saved her; that it was only chance they had looked into the alley and seen her there.

Their eyes met and Dissectus shook his head. The last thing Maya needed right now was their guilt on top of everything else. Voltari blinked at him and then, visibly forcing himself to swallow the words on his tongue, turned to the girl and simply told her, “You’re welcome.”

Maya smiled and snuggled deeper into the blankets before she let out a yawn. “I’m glad you found me.”

“So are we,” Dissectus reassured her. He hesitated briefly before he sat down on the edge of her bed. “Sleep now. Tomorrow will be a better day.”

Trustingly, Maya blinked up at him. “Promise?”

Dissectus froze. He couldn’t, not when he knew she would have to go back to her family eventually, no matter how much he wished it weren’t so. If they got the detective involved they might be able to delay the inevitable for a few days. But if Yonderland was anything like Afarland, then Maya’s parents would probably just get told off before they’d be allowed to take her home with them. The tale would begin anew, and it would continue in a circle until one day, no one would be there to catch the little match girl when she fell.

“We promise,” Voltari said quietly but with such conviction that Dissectus’s thoughts screeched to a halt. Stunned, he watched him sit down next to him and place a reassuring hand on the blankets covering Maya. “Rest, little one. You’ve had trying day.”

Maya closed her eyes with a smile. It did not take long for her face to relax and her breathing to even out in sleep. The complete and utter trust she had in them and their word was humbling, and Dissectus already dreaded the moment when she would realise they were no better than everyone else.

“You shouldn’t have promised her that,” he said quietly when he was sure she was asleep. “You know she can’t stay here.”

“What I know is she’ll dieif she goes back,” Voltari said. His good eye was brimming with emotions. “We will find work for her here at the Chamber, give her a place to stay, a decent salary – make an offer her parents won’t be able to refuse.”

Voltari had always been exceptionally good at solving problems and making impossible things happen – Dissectus had known that for years. But this was different. This was him using his talents for something good, and for a moment, Dissectus could only stare at him in utter amazement. To think he’d thought he couldn’t love this man any more than he already did. “Tari …”

Voltari flushed and averted his eyes. “We will ask her if she wants this, of course. But if she does …”

“We’ll give her a home,” Dissectus whispered. He reached for Voltari’s hand, and his heart beat faster when Voltari’s shaking fingers squeezed back without hesitation.

They looked at each other. Slowly, so slowly it felt like time was standing still, Dissectus reached up to cradle Voltari’s face with his left hand and leaned in to place a tentative kiss to the very corner of his lips. Voltari’s breath caught in his throat and when Dissectus moved back, he pulled him back in for another kiss, a real one that was as sweet as honey and as gentle as the rolling hills of Hitherland. Fireworks went off somewhere in the distance and cheers erupted from the garden but Dissectus barely noticed either. His world had narrowed down to the feeling of Voltari’s lips against his, soft and pliable, and there was only one thought in his mind: finally.

It was the only kiss they shared that night. When they pulled back, their smiles were shy and full of silent promises of more to come – tomorrow when they knew Maya would be safe and they could steal a moment for themselves. Until then, they would keep watch over the little girl, and if they held hands throughout the night and sneaked loving glances at each other every now and then, Dissectus didn’t think anyone could fault them for that.

#voltari #dissectus #disstari #yonderland #yonderland fic #scribe elder ho tan #the elders youngers #my fic

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