#ASK TO TAG !!! this story is. Fucked up at its core.

[fleshdyke]

#csa warning for tags #ughhh ik i was just talking abt this but man. Man. constantly bullied as a child + raped as a child is a brutal combo huh #completely irreversibly fucked up sense of intimacy. i dont want to have sex with anyone i dont care what ppl think of me looks wise but i #also care more than anything and want people to want me so bad #like when ur only experience with anyone at all finding you desirable is being raped at 6ish. fucks u up man #was constantly told by everyone i knew that i was undesirable from day fucking one. i was always the one ppl would dare their friends to #'ask out' bc everyone thought i was that bad. i never had those rumours of 'some boy likes you' without people laughing in the background #all of my friends. even the ones that were also weird kids and bullied etc etc always have stories of other kids having crushes on them or #whatever. and i just never had that. it feels like i missed out on something important #i want to be pursued by a guy i hate i want them to not leave me alone. i want to feel like im in danger. and i know how fucking disgusting #that is but i cant help it. like i feel like thats the only way im going to feel normal and wanted like theres not something inherently #wrong with me. and i know how dangerous that is but its not like it matters anyways bc still no one likes me at all. #and i know how stupid of a thing it is to obsess over like what am i 9 years old? but i just cant get it out of my head #like idk i feel like the only way im going to actually feel desirable at all is if someone tries to rape me again. or if i feel like i have #to worry about someone raping me again. i know i wouldnt feel that way if someone was like. nice about it. #bc if someone genuinely liked me and was a decent human being about it i wouldnt be able to see it as anything other than faking it for pit #i wouldnt be able to believe it. even if i wasnt waiting for them to drop the joke and start laughing at me i would always think it was jus #an act bc they feel bad for me. the only way i could ever think it's genuine and that i'm desirable at all is if someone sexually #harassed me. like idk how to explain it but thats the only way i could feel desirable at all #bc it's the only way i've ever been desirable. when i was a kid. #and it terrifies me so bad bc i know how fucking disgusting that is and how self destructive it is #but i still feel like i dont even have to really worry about being assaulted. bc i still believe im completely undesirable at my core. #i dont believe i could be desired so i dont believe i have to worry about being raped. bc no one would want to anyways #rambles #vent

[lovesickeros]

This is a little out of the blue, but I genuinely really enjoy hearing your tsaritsa lore and character breakdowns. She's hasn't been someone I'm terribly invested in getting to know as a character, but reading your thoughts on her has really piqued my interest. I've never considered what being the goddess of love could mean I guess

Anyway, all this to say I've been really enjoying your tsaritsa/fatui hype :) it's contagious

THIS IS SO GOOD TO HEAR i love going into deep dive breakdowns of characters especially ones who don't really have a lot of content, because it provides wiggle room for a lot of interpretations. not that i can blame you for not being too invested in her, considering we've never actually seen her, and only hear about from a few sources (venti, who doens't really say much, and childe + arle who also technically dont say much in the grand scheme of things but understanding their characters to see how it changes their view of the tsaritsa and where it overlaps is a good chunk of it)

so its my job to do what hoyo doesn't and hype the hell out of her /j. ive been writing her since i joined sagau around when it first started snowballing into popularity i dont think i could leave if i tried

#asks #Anonymous #not a fic #the tsaritsa is one of my faves and frankly the fatui as a whole. top 3 faves is something like tsaritsa arle&furi and bina #its the harsh contrast of “goddess of love” and tsaritsa that just. chefs kiss. i keep saying it but its true. #a lot of harbingers core themes are about love too like okayyyyy im listening. im seated. #the goddess of love also being the cryo archon. being in snezhnaya. the coldest nation yet and will prob have the dragonspine mechanic.. #i think its shown especially with arlecchino and her entire story. i wont say much bc. yknow. spoilers. its been like 2 days since release #bc while arlecchino is better then the old knave she is not a good “father”. i mean shes still raising child soldiers. knowingly. #and i do not think she “loves” them. i think she CARES about them. but she does not love them. #she is the cold unfeeling “father”. that is her role. it is her purpose. she refuses to be like the old knave in that manner #she will not pretend to love them to make them loyal. she will not put up a facade of kindness to make them listen #but i also find it interesting that after arle took over at some point “mother” was attributed to the tsaritsa #i cant recall where the line is from atm but its such an interesting bit that says so much #all children of the house of the hearth are children of the tsaritsa and thus. “mother”. #looks at the wall of text in tags ah fuck i did it again. SHUT IT DOWN #someday i wont get distracted and write an essay in tags. today is not that day!!! #glad u enjoy my ramblings though its fun 2 write and nice 2 know ppl like them :]

[origamiyoda]

@smudgy-boy im gonna answer this here bcos i don't want to clog up my artblog I HOPE THATS OKAY GRAA /lh

ANYWAY. GIGGLES. To put it very simply. Yes? IT SOUNDS SO FUCKED. TW FOR MENTIONS OF ROAD ACCIDENTS. ERM. BUT. ok.

TRAFFIC (their story/world) is about three Road Demons (max, trey & F.O.R.D.) hunting down rogue demons and evil entities that stalk the highways in their 1961 Lincoln Continental Convertable.

In this. World? Story? Demons & Angels arent like. Evil/Good, rather demons r just like angels, but they watch over darker/bad things, like, say, car accidents. Road Demons like the three of them are Specifically meant to guide people who die on the road to the afterlife. Rogue demons/entities/angels are beings that have defected and are actively causing these accidents or incidents to happen (im sure theres reasoning behind it but i havent thought about that lore much tbh………)

Out of the three of them, Trey is the only like. True Demon? He's been that way since he first popped into being, whereas F.O.R.D. and Max were created.

F.O.R.D and Max both died in (seperate, w Max dying first) car/road related incidents. When Trey arrived to guide Max, something went wrong (WHICH I WONT SPECIFY. Bcos I would like to tell this story in full someday & id like to keep SOME aire of mystery around it.), and Max became a Road Demon aswell.

With F.O.R.D, it was the same scenario, except the RD who resurrected him was NOT Trey and it was ON PURPOSE 😳🤔

Anyway F.O.R.D was considered a rogue demon for a while, which led to Max & Trey trying to hunt him down. They succeeded but learned he was pretty much harmless & he JOINED THE CREW :3 !

There's a lot more lore & i could totally elaborate on anything here but. Anyway. This whole concept stems from my obsession w like. Highways and the kinda lore/americana that surrounds them and my vague trauma relating to road accidents, but ive been working on it since. Middle school???? The story has changed and shifted greatly but. Its always been these three dudes that got hit by cars. Also they make out sometimes 😁💖 love loses thwyre all terrible

#tw car accident #car accident mention #car accidents #ASK TO TAG !!! this story is. Fucked up at its core. #oc tag #its mostly just for fun & a way for me to just. Draw mindless violence & blood & explosions bcos im A 12 year old boy apparently BUT ALSO #theres LORE GALORE AND ITSSSSSS lame tbh but I have fun #leo yells #traffic concept🚦

[hazelfoureyes]

The Radio Demon fucks a Human Sacrifice (part two)

This is part two! Here is part one. I lied, there is a bit of smut! Oopsie daisy. Inspired by @moonmark98 ‘s story idea of reader trying to forget Alastor and failing. I hadn’t planned a second part initially so I hope you like it 🥺

⟢ part1♡̶sidestory♡̶part2♡̶part3♡̶part4 ⟣

You return to earth and spend a year trying to crawl out from under the memory of Alastor. When an employee tells you a terrible past trauma, you end up right back where you started.

<Tags/Warnings/Promises: Alastor x reader, light smut, not as explicit as part one, masturbation, implied childhood trauma, justified homicide regarding said implication, stabbing, death, a realistic description of my former job, gerbil slander, your bitch aunt Sara, hiking as a hobby, guns, shooting, choking, florida weather, mentions of the 2021 Loo Loo Land fire>

minors DNI

“Ooh my, this is highly unusual. Charlie is right, you really shouldn’t be here.” Stolas fretted over you. “Uuunfortunately I don’t have my book at this particular moment however I can just snag it from Blitzy and be back soon.”

“What’s a blitzy?” Angel looked around the room to no one in particular.

“What isn’t he?” Stolas cooed. 

“Wait a minute!” Husk snapped his fingers, “Is that the imp who burned down loo loo land?”

“The very one!”

“He also takes hits out on people on earth, doesn’t he?” Husk gave Stolas a sideways look. Alastor hummed in acknowledgment.

“Ah haha yes” Nervously chuckling, Stolas scratched at the feathers behind his neck, “Anywho! I’ll return shortly and get you back where you belong, little one.” He flashed his kind smile to you before bowing to Charlie and portaling out of the room. 

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Charlie sat beside you on the edge of the bed. You’d been escorted immediately to an empty room upon arrival, sat down while the core staff of the hotel flitted about wildly upon hearing Angel’s recounting of events.

“You smell dirty”, the tiny maid cackled and ran to you before being lifted by her apron by Husk. 

“That is a”, you rubbed your wrists nervously, “complicated question…”

“There’s nowhere safer in all of hell than this room. With Vaggie and me and Alastor”, Charlie brought her hands to her mouth, “or— not Alas- I mean” She looked at Vaggie, “What do I mean??”

“Nothing and no one will lay a finger on you here.” Vaggie was staring at Alastor when she said it.

“I don’t think its fingers anyone’s worried about”, Angel shifted his gaze from Alastor to you and back.  

Alastor turned his head  slowly to meet Angel’s eyes, “Did you say something, Angel Dust?”

He shook his head and quickly left, Niffty and Husk in tow.

“I think you should leave, too.” Vaggie crossed her arms.

Alastor replied by taking a step closer to you, gesturing with his microphone, “I don’t see what all the fuss is about. She is safe and sound, barely a bruise on her.” He looked over you, the side of your face still slightly pink from the way you hit the ground hardly an hour ago. He could hear your body sliding across the wooden cabin floor still, what a strangely exciting noise. What else could he drag you across? What surfaces could he slide your over? What noises would they make? What noises would you make?

“You took her fucking soul, Alastor. In a coerced deal!”

“If I remember correctly, that is exactly what I had been asked to do.” He grinned, taking his monocle off and cleaning it on his sleeve. Vaggie looked to Charlie, who shrunk from her horrified face. “Plus, she’s still alive. Who knows if the deal even counts. I’ve never made one with a living person.” With an exaggerated shrug, Alastor took a seat on the sofa opposite the bed, legs crossed. “Either way, she isn’t anywhere near Val anymore.” His eyes met yours, for the first time since… 

You looked away. He wanted to grab your chin and force you to see him. He wanted to read what was written on your face. Shame? No…yes, but something more. Embarrassment. Confusion. Ah— You clenched your jaw, finally returning his stare. Anger. “Did I not do exactly what I had promised I would? What I had warned you I would?” Your lips curled over your teeth. “While yes, I hadn’t explicitly stated the number of times-“

“Stop talking! No, no. Enough of that.” Charlie waved her arms as if she could dissipate the very topic away, “Alastor could you please give me a moment alone with her?” She looked at him with big, worried eyes, “Please?”

Through gritted teeth Alastor acquiesced, “It is your hotel, Princess. I’ll be just outside the door.” The last sentence was for you, you could feel it like you could feel his shadow still ghosting over your legs.

As soon as the door shut, she closed the distance between you, looking to Vaggie who offered her a supportive nod.

“Seriously, are you hurt? Did he— Did he hurt  you?”

Oh, you wish he had. That’d be easier to say. Easier to process. You wish he’d knocked you around like Val had done earlier. That left you indignant, enraged. But this — whatever this was — you couldn’t find purchase on a reaction. You didn’t even want to think the things bubbling under your consciousness. 

“Just my pride. Uhh,” you shifted, your thighs and cunt sore to the touch, “He really did warn me. Got my okay, kind of. And he didn’t hurt me, except dragging me around and flipping me but-”, You noticed Charlie’s alarmed expression, “I’m physically fine.”

She nodded, her expression still oozing concern, “Well that’s good, then.”

“What… You both seem humanish, but what exactly are-“ You tipped your head in the direction of the door. 

“Well I think Angel is some kind of spider…Husk, not entirely sure honestly”, Charlie looked up as if searching for a memory, “Alastor is a deer. It’s all tied to how people lived and died, I think.”

A deer? You shook your head, “Nothing about that man resembles a prey animal.”

“His death sure did.” Vaggie commented.

“So if I have some weird death I’ll end up here? If I drown… I’ll come back as a fish?” You were mostly thinking out loud, and hadn’t expected Charlie to nod in agreement.

“But don’t think about that! You might still go to heaven. Like Al said, he isn’t even sure the deal is binding.” She beamed and clapped her hands together.

It felt binding. 

When that green light had erupted from beneath you, you thought you could feel him. Not the tentacles, or the memory of his hand. It felt like he was in the light itself, casting shadows on the ceiling in the shape of you. It felt alive, every ray of light a breathe washing over you. 

You looked down at the robe, white and silky. Where were your clothes? Where was your fucking aunt? What about your phone? You had a car, too. Wait, no… did you drive to her house? Or did she…You hadn’t slept since being dragged to hell. Staring at the hem of the sleeve, you tried to focus your mind but suddenly you were wading in cognitive mud.

Shadows gathered near the foot of the bed before you saw Alastor rise out of the cluster. Charlie said something, Vaggie said something but sharper. It sounded far away already. Your body was beginning to feel heavy, an ache settling across your back and thighs.

“Perhaps you should lie down, my dear.” His voice cut through the murky waters of your thoughts. The bed sunk beside you as he pressed a hand down, the other lifting your chin to force eye contact. Vaggie made a loud noise, Charlie a smaller one, a longer one. Was it words? Were they speaking? Your lids were heavy over your eyes, Alastor’s face beginning to blur. His smile looked strained, eyebrows knitted together in an emotion almost recognized. Concern? His grin threw it off. You raised your eyebrows to try and open your eyes wider but the effect was minimal.

You heard yourself groan as an arm hooked under your knees, another catching your shoulders as you fell to the side. It felt like you were floating. Your legs came down slowly, you could feel the robe adjusting around your waist. Your head went back before comfortably straightening. A warmth spread down your neck, leaving goosebumps to runaway down your shoulder. It was dark now, and in the haze you heard from somewhere so close it felt like maybe you had thought it yourself,  “In perpetuity, mon cher.” 

You didn’t recognize the room at first, but when you finally managed to lift yourself out of bed you sighed. Home. You only knew it had been real because of the robe and busted lip. Well, mostly sure. 

 No one noticed you were gone, which wasn’t shocking. Working backwards, you could piece together you had gone to visit your aunt on Saturday morning. You awoke early Monday in your own bed some 60 miles from your aunt's home. Your car had been found abandoned off an old dirt road way outside of town. 

You tried to get back to life, get to work. But you were clearly only half there.

Your aunt was found dead the following weekend, half submerged in a swamp just outside of Tampa. Her funeral was funny. Not “haha” funny, “Say hi to Val for me” kinda funny. When they lowered her into the ground you wondered what she looked like. What's the animal manifestation of a selfish, raging bitch? What’s the most untrustworthy home appliance? 

Probably a gerbil, or a toaster. 

You found yourself doing that a lot, What will they look like in the afterlife?

It took a good six months for you to stop sleeping in the robe. You couldn’t trash it, it was evidence you had been spirited away. It smelled like smoke and baby oil. Like Angel. It was soft on your skin, like—

Oh. It took less time for the dreams to calm down. Maybe a month of waking up in a cold sweat.  

At first they were stressful. Val backhanding you. The feeling of leather chafing against your wrists. The cabin. The real one, not the set.

But then one night they weren’t stressful. You could remember the dream like it had really happened. A large hand cupping your cheek, another roaming past your hips before hooking under your knee. The warmth of a breath on your neck, on your navel. More hands. Everywhere. Your back, your ankle, your neck. 

You woke up and the first feeling you felt was disappointment. It hit you like a truck. 

The dreams slowly ramped up until some nights you awoke mid-orgasm. Never in your life had you experienced wet dreams; you didn’t even know women got them.

And it wasn’t always him—- well, not at first. You’d be kissing someone, a stranger or your ex or whoever. You’d have your hands in their hair, enjoying the feeling of their tongue sliding over yours. You’d be positively humming into their mouth. They’d pull you forward, lie you down, tugging your pants down your legs.

When they’d kiss up your arm and nestle into your neck they’d whisper hottily into your ear, “My doe.”

Sometimes you woke up, but many times you didn’t. Many times you grabbed his face and kissed him, letting him take control and direct you. You’d shrink beneath him, allowing him to use your body as he pleased. You’d surrender, you’d melt. He’d fuck you into the ground of god-knows-where, nails cutting into the flesh of your ass as he pulled you up to meet each punishing thrust. There were trees and starlight and you felt the humidity on your skin. 

You’d always squirm away, try to escape the pleasure and he would find joy in pulling you back onto his cock. It felt like a game where you both already knew the outcome. “Going to cum, sweetheart?”, would be the last thing you heard before the real life spasms of your release stirred you awake. 

The first man you took home after returning to earth was sweet. Gentle. Too gentle. You’d try to direct him, to let him know you wouldn’t break but he’d shy away from asserting dominance.

Other partners were more in charge, but it didn’t sit right. If you were going to allow someone control over you, you felt like they had to deserve it. You needed to respect them in some capacity. 

You tried choking during sex, while it did heighten the pleasure their hand felt so small it broke your concentration. Bondage was fun, you got a rush from shibari, but all it did was inform your dreams. 

You tried femdom, and while it was impowering it didn’t scratch that itch. You tried being a sub, but like before you found the people over you as unworthy of you. You didn’t think so highly of yourself, it’s just that autonomy was precious and these people were, well, just people. Mortals.  

Your friends enjoyed your hoe era, self titled, but it was short lived. It had been eight months since you returned when you bought your first real sex toy, and took up hiking. It felt nice to be outdoors, and the days you spent in the forests seemed to make for nights of  less intense dreams. 

Your toy was, ashamedly, selected for its three points of contact. A pink little vibrator, big enough to need some work into you but not painful. The first time you used it you clung to your pillow, heart ballooning against your spiked blood pressure, and screamed a chorus of his name. The two points inside you vibrating in tandem with the small suction cup shape extending from the base doming your clit brought back delicious memories. 

Every time, you felt embarrassed after. You could imagine him hearing you all the way in hell and chuckling at how pathetic you were. Satisfied at how empty you felt after.

It wasn’t just about the sex, you were never a very sexually needy person. You were chasing that feeling of surrender, of being both safe and out of control at the same time. The little bit of danger with the pleasure. But not, “local woman found dead in the woods” kind of danger. “Corrupt your soul and ruin your afterlife” kind of danger.

After a year of being earthside, life had finally calmed. Were you still fucked in your dreams? Yes, but a manageable once or so a month. Your toy was nice, but not necessary. A man, or anyone, hadn’t touched you in months. And that was alright. You felt almost normal, except the mornings you woke up hoping to see a pair of red eyes somewhere in the room. 

You chalked it up to escapism. 

Work had promoted you, twice, which helped distract you from boredom. While performing one of your monthly employee meetings, you met with a young man you’d recently hired. He was still in college, but he had a good head on his shoulders and made quick decisions. You were confident he’d be your equal within the year.

(Implied childhood trauma below the line; not graphic but it’s implied to have happened)

⊹˚₊‧───────────────‧₊˚⊹

“Tired?” He asked you while you logged back into your computer. 

You nodded, yawning into the back of your hand, “Spent most of Sunday at Shallow Ridge. Scoping out a good camping spot for when it warms up.”

“No shit, my dad hunts out there. Every Sunday, too.”

“I didn’t take you for the hunting type”, You blinked away the exhaustion and opened his employee file.

“Nah I’m not.” He shook his head, “He used to take me all the time when I was little.”

You nodded, not looking at him and only half listening, “Aww, sounds fun.”

He scoffed. You found the audio file of his graded phone calls, double clicking it. The file seemed corrupted. 

“Not fun?” You absentmindedly asked.

You opened the program to manually find the call file. The silence began to creep over you until you felt your chest heavy under the weight of it.

You finally looked at him. The look in his eyes was distant, the color from his face was gone. 

“Hey”, your tone changed, your subconscious recognizing something before you did.

He snapped back up, looking at you now. His smile didn’t meet his eyes. You didn’t say anything, just pushed your chair from your desk and looked directly at him.

“What?” He averted his gaze.

“You know you can tell me anything, right? You’re not just a resource here. Hell, I see you more than my own flesh and blood.”

He nodded, and when he finally brought his eyes back to yours his composure cracked and tears fell down his cheeks in streams. “It’s fine” he forced a laugh, “It was like a million years ago.”

You took off the rest of the day, and after providing hugs and your own tears and information on company sponsored counseling and resources, you went home.

Well, first you went to the camping store. And then home. Your dreams that week were calm, as if they knew you couldn’t enjoy a romp in a field.

When Saturday night bled into Sunday morning, you drove your car to Shallow Ridge. You placed the keys on the front seat and left your phone under the seat itself.

You waited for four hours, but eventually a truck pulled up and the man you saw in various Facebook photos and tagged family Christmas cards made his way into the dense forest. You circled back on the trail, head dizzy. 

You knew you couldn’t overpower him, but you weren’t trying to win. You just wanted to make him hurt. You’d met men like him before. You’d suffered men like him. Survived men like him. When you two crossed paths on the barely marked trail and you were a beat behind him, you stopped, took out the hunting knife you were told could cut bone, and brought it down into the crook of his neck with both hands.

He whipped around, shock and panic on his face as his hands came back from his shoulder bloody. When he scrambled for his gun you sliced at his chest, then again at his throat but it wasn’t deep enough to stop him. 

As he advanced on you, fumbling with his shotgun, you tumbled backwards. He fell with you, pinning you down beneath the full weight of his body on your stomach. Twisting beneath him you almost got onto your side when you sunk the knife into his inner thigh, remembering the artery there from your mother’s surgery. He got the gun loaded, aimed it at your chest, “Crazy bitch!”

“Fuck you.” 

He fired.

Your breath left steam as it flitted weakly from your body, frost still on the ground. Your mouth was open as blood held your face to the forest floor. As your vision darkened, you watched the man slump over and onto the ground beside you. His eyes were open and unmoving. 

A burst of green erupted from beneath you, and you smiled as you sank down into the light.

“Did you miss me terribly, my little doe?”

(Part three)

༻Masterlist༺

#alastor smut #alastor x reader #alastor x reader smut #hazbin hotel smut #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x reader #Helluva boss #helluva boss x hasbin hotel #Hasbin hotel x helluva boss #Smut #fanfic #fanfiction #hazbin hotel alastor #18+ content #hazbin alastor #alastor hazbin hotel #alastor #alastor x you #the radio demon #radio demon #alastor the radio demon

[suguru-getos]

//fractures// geto suguru x f!reader // chapter 2

🔗-> part one

warnings: hurt-comfort, mentions of wounds, mentions of stitches, guilt, complex emotions from suguru, panic attacks, reader is in a dark headspace, fluff too!! 🙂‍↔️💅🏻

story summary: being a monkey is the norm except when you're captured by geto sama because he needs money from your parents. however, you may just have to suffer a little extra because of the forced thinking about the right and wrongs... you're putting him through. the affection you’re forcing him through…

chapter summary: suguru tends to you after the whole ordeal caused by him, still conflicted & somehow tortured with the way his heart pangs at your condition. 🩷

a/n: please comment down below if you want to be tagged in the taglist <3 thank you ‼️ it's so evident that i'm just writing this for my own silly liddul heart TT_TT

an hour, at maximum. an hour had passed from when geto left your bleeding, tattered body on the bed. the mark of 'MONKEY' with deep, gashing cuts and the way your blood oozed out of your injured, broken skin was haunting his very core. he did it majorly for himself, just to remind himself that you're one. you're nothing but a monkey and monkeys shouldn't have the freedom of life. monkeys are filthy- monkeys breed curses- monkeys are disgusting and vile- monkeys-

his own feet betrayed him quickly when he found himself running for your room. the cream colored satin bedsheet stained with blood. your foot prints stained with blood directing towards the bathroom. his can feel his heart sink at the sheer amount of blood loss. jaw clenching and a soft wave of anxiety which ripens with every passing moment hugging him. did you… die? no, no its just been an hour-

he rushes to the bathroom door, watching you lay limp, holding a piece of gauze in your bloodied hands. you must have passed out by trying to give yourself first aid. he falls to his knees, tears in his eyes seeping through at the sight of usual color in your lip faded to discoloration. you look so peaceful when you sleep. he finally notices the wound inflicted by him on you, it was looking lethal. a striking reminder that you were a monkey and he was, well, a monster.

he doesn't understand what's happening, he was pretty clear that he needs to irradicate the whole human race, he has to. only those with superior selves, who can withstand not creating a curse should be allowed to live. how will he achieve this milestone when his heart weeps at the sight of one pathetic little human half his size losing consciousness.

his bulky and sturdy arms wrap around your body, hugging you closer to him and taking you to his room. your room was a blood bath anyway, he needs to ask the servants to clean it up. gently placing your body atop the plush mattress of his room, he took out his first aid kit, good thing you had been passed out. your wounds are deep and require stitches. he can't bear any more of your screams now without breaking like glass. his mind has already decided to punish him with repeated rings and episodes of your cries and wails when suguru did this to you. he wishes they could stop - he wishes they never stop. he needs to be punished.

bringing your wrist close to him, he decides to stitch those gashes up, watching your face every few seconds. you were knocked out cold, not an expression on your pretty face. he feels like it’s a win, when you'll be awake, at least you wouldn't see the word 'MONKEY' engraved on you… then again, it will scar, and it will scar bad. "you're pathetic" he hums at your sleeping form. "fragile, useless, powerless, pathetic." he adds on, the sentence more a reminder to his own self rather than for you. you're not listening to this anyway. "I could snap your neck like a twig and you wouldn't be able to defend yourself. anyone I call my family could." he sighs, fuck - he's tearing up again. you almost look dead over just an anger tantrum of his. he really needs to be very careful. you're like a little bunny who could die at the slightest bit of carelessness.

a few hours pass with suguru holding your hand, observing the crests and troughs of your sleeping face, how your chest barely heaves but still reminds him that you're alive. he couldn't be more glad that you're alive. he hates that. he hates that it brings him joy that your heart is still beating. he hates that you are bringing him joy and copious amounts of guilt.

"geto sama!" nanako gleams from outside his bedroom door. he wipes his tears at the sound of his adopted daughter's voice. "yes? what is it?" he hums from inside. "the monkey isn't in her room!" she pouts from outside, and suguru gets up to open his door. the teenager watching you lie down on geto's bed with a face of confusion. why were you laying down on 'their' geto sama's room? you- a monkey- the look of disgust in her face is inevitable.

"relax, nanako." he hums, "we need to return her to her parents after 9 days." he responds with his usual close-eyed feline smile. "yeah, but why is she here?" she pouts, "she's too pretty for a monkey though-" a frown envelopes her face. "I agree." suguru looks at you momentarily, a moment of longing and guilt erupting from the depths of his heart before quickly snapping out of it. "I got angry at her, and punished her." he continues, while nanako could see with the way the gauze bandage on your forearm was inflicted with dark reds of blood, that you indeed, were punished. "what did she do?" she asks instinctively and suguru gnaws at his lower lip.

nothing. you did absolutely nothing.

"well, she is a monkey after all." nanako adds, shrugging. "her purpose is as our 'money collecting monkey', isn't it?" she asks him, and he faintly nods. "well, if she really made you angry, geto sama. I suggest you can kill her after getting the money!" she chirps as if it was the most normal thing to say. suguru, on the other hand, feel sickened to his stomach at the thought. "hmm. I need some time alone, nanako" he declares, watching the teen leave his room and locking his door.

he's quick to grace himself in the sanctuary of your presence though, hand back holding yours. "just nine more days of you here, monkey." he reminds both of you. "then your parents will come and get you and this wouldn't exist." he smiles, a sadness spreading across his face.

------------------------------------------------------------

you don't wake up for one and a half days. the exhaustion on your body, the lack of nutrition and the loss of blood demands rest. AND, geto suguru is absolutely tweaking!

he sat next to you, watching you gently, leaning beside you against the headboard. you didn't wake up. he hasn't showered, hasn't gone out of his bed. his family thinks its weird, but they don't push him. suguru is a tantrum king after all, and a pissed off suguru chan is best avoided. the next morning, you're awake before noon. suguru hasn't budged, he has declined all his meetings, all his catch-ups, everything. why? he doesn't know that now, his mind doesn't give him the time to reason for any of it right now. the hollow pit of anxiety that was created was now a bottomless one. he wanted relief from it, he wanted to see you awake! shoko- maybe he needs to talk to shoko-

you shifted a little and his attention is immediately diverted to you, looking at you with the biggest sigh of relief possible. "ah-" a pained whimper escaped you, it hurts everywhere. your ribs hurt, you can barely breathe, tears sting your eyes as you groan, trying to get up. the lack of iron in your body making you dizzy. "good morning, it's afternoon now." suguru hums, just 7 days with you. why is he counting days like a mad man in prison?! before you could process anything, your eyes widened when you heard his voice, heart fluttering out of your very chest and breathless pants echoing in the room. you gripped your chest, it burns, your lungs burn from the lack of air your body can't get due to the whole panic of it all. what will he do? will he hurt you again? fuck- your head hurts, everything hurts- "plea- please" you gasp out, the veins in your forehead strained and popping as you began wailing again. shrieks and cries of pain and panic.

suguru doesn't know what to do about it, he needs to hug you close and tell you it's going to be okay. he wouldn't hurt you. he feels sorry- you don't have to break apart like this- does he even deserve to say that?

instinct… he is just acting on his instinct now.

"breathe with me, ssh~ listen, listen, little one. look at me, breathe with me. deep breath in- come on- follow me-" his voice is soft, but you're inconsolable. you have your very own instinct, the instinct to flee from him. the instinct to run away from him. you struggle against his hold and choke on sobs, leaning away. suguru is quick to pull you back to him, your head against his chest, soft head pats coming after. "ssh ssh ssh~ nothing's happening, no one's going to hurt you." he echoes it repeatedly. "that's it, that's it…" his own rapid heartbeats turning calmer and calmer as your shoulders slump back in exhaustion. you stop resisting after a few minutes, letting him hold you softly.

"just seven more days, and you'll be home." suguru hums to comfort you.

"I hope you die." you mumbled with equal hatred to his comfort. may as well be killed instead of spending seven whole days with him… "I hope everyone you ever knew dies, and they die in front of you." you spit out in your venom laced tone after calming down, trying to lean away from suguru's hug.

"and? who will kill them? you?" he is almost amused, but nothing you say with outweigh his guilt right now. "let’s get you cleaned up and get you to a doctor." he announces. he still has 7 ol' days with you after all.

#geto suguru #geto angst #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jjk angst #geto x reader #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #fractures geto #geto imagines #jjk imagines #jjk drabble #geto drabble #geto x y/n #jjk x y/n #jujutsu kaisen angst #jujutsu kaisen drabble #jujutsu geto #geto #suguru geto #geto suguru x reader #suguru geto x reader #jjk au

[perlelune]

Tag, You’re It | Ethan Landry | iv.

Happy, carefree college days meet their abrupt end when every guy who approaches you mysteriously turns up dead.

Warnings: NON-CON, Stalking, Bimbo!Reader, Clueless Reader, Loss of Virginity, Incel Ethan, Cheerleader Reader, Skin Carving (w/knife), Canon Typical Slashing, Voyeurism, Kidnapping, Forced Masturbation, Filming, Blackmail

This is a dark story. Heed warnings before reading under the cut.

𝖘𝖊𝖗𝖎𝖊𝖘 𝖒𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖙

"Put the phone down. On speaker," Ghostface orders.

The device almost slides right out of your clammy palm when you place it by your sock-covered foot. 

"Now…"

His voice dips, its intimate echo rippling across your skin.

Tension clogs your throat as you await his next command, a mess of shivering limbs on your bed.  

Whatever he asks you to do, you know you’ll hate it, and yourself. 

But there’s no other option when your friends’ lives hang in the balance. 

No choice besides yielding to the killer’s whims, however sick and twisted. 

"I want you to touch yourself, princess."

Puzzled by his request, you blink and parrot his words back to him,"Touch myself?"

He unleashes a dark laugh, a chill dancing on your spine at the sound. 

"Let me explain it in terms even my airheaded little princess can understand," he rasps, blatantly condescending. I want you to shove your fingers in that tight pussy while I watch you do it…and make yourself come." Your eyes widen in shock. "If you don’t come…" Your open thighs tremble as an air of malevolence saturates the air. "Goodbye Mindy and Anika."

The heavy, searing weight of his threat sits in your gut like hot coals. 

Your lip wobbles, a tear escaping the confine of your lids. 

"I’ll do it," you mutter, your quivering hand already inching to your exposed center. 

"Hey, no need to rush," he chuckles. "Take your time, princess. After all…I want to enjoy the show."

He sighs and a zipping sound followed by a muffled rustle reaches you. Relief flows from his inflection as he instructs, "Why don’t you start with rubbing your hand up and down your pussy?"

Sticky wetness coats your fingers as you glide them over your folds. 

Heat flares in your cheeks as Ghostface’s gruff moans rise from the phone. 

Though you can’t know for sure, you suspect from how breathless and hoarse he sounds, he may be touching himself too. 

You grow more embarrassed at the thought. 

"Unbutton your shirt and grab your tit." He lets out a throaty purr as you undo the buttons of your blouse. You palm your breast and rub your thumb over your pebbled peak. A hiss floats from your lips at the sensation, your core clenching. 

"Fuck…you’ve got the most perfect tits I’ve ever seen. You know that, princess?" He pauses, seeming to choke on his own breath before chiming, "Bet they’d look even better covered with my cum."

A shuddering breath escapes your mouth. 

"Put one finger inside. Tell me how it feels."

As you keep fondling your breast, you sink one digit inside your wet heat. You gasp as you graze a sensitive, spongy spot that makes your breath falter. 

"Wet. Tight…" Reflexively, as you rock inside your walls, they squeeze around your fingers. Ragged moans climb up your throat. 

Pleasure builds in your belly as it tenses. 

"Put a second one," he urges, his words punctuated by a gravelly whine and the faint, sloppy friction of skin against skin on the other side of the phone. 

Your face ignites. While you’re not the brightest bulb, it’s not hard figuring out what he’s doing while talking to you. 

A wave of sickness threatens to overwhelm you but you quell it.

You add a second digit to the first. Your lids quake, a sharp pain rippling through your core at the burning stretch.

You hardly ever touch yourself there, much less with more than one finger.

"It hurts," you sob. "Please…"

Your whimpers only appear to arouse him more, a moan following your admission. 

"Oh…Fuck." You hear him swallow and exhale rapidly. "Keep going. Don’t you dare stop. Play with your clit at the same time."

Letting go of your chest, your other hand creeps between your thighs. Cheeks aflame, you start rubbing your swollen, sensitive nub in circles.

Your breath stutters. Your hips wiggle as your stomach tightens. 

"Rub it harder." You chew on your bottom lip as the lustful pants leaving your throat swell in volume. Disapproval vibrates in Ghostface’s distorted, gravelly voice. "Don’t keep it in. I want to hear you loud and clear, princess."

Reluctantly, you free your lip, allowing every moan and whimper to spill out unchecked. 

Your fingers pump in and out at a faster pace and the wet squelching of your cunt mingles with the shameful sounds rising from your mouth. 

You massage your clit, growing slicker as your vision gets hazy. 

"Remember what I said. What happens if you don’t come, pretty girl."

This incentivizes you to try even harder. 

You play with your pussy with more fervor than before, teasing that tender spot inside you that has your vision sway. 

You can tell how close you are to your pinnacle, the coils in your belly tight and warm tingles swirling at the apex of your thighs. 

The patterns your fingers trace over your sensitive parts turn hectic and desperate. 

"Tell me you can’t wait for my fat cock to ruin your tight little pussy," Ghostface rumbles through the staccato of his uneven, raspy moans. 

Tears adorning your lashes, you repeat his words between strained lungfuls. "I c-can’t wait for your f…fat cock to ruin my little p-pussy, Mr. Ghostface."

His elated laugh cascades across your flesh. 

"Come for me, princess."

The air dwindles in your lungs as your eyes roll back. The dam shatters at once, your legs quaking as waves of pleasure scatter through your lower body. Your body jolts and falls limply on the sheets, your back arching as your climax hits you. 

"Ah, shit," he says. 

The killer’s long, throaty sigh lands in your ears, the sound of him relieving himself strangely making your bundle of nerves pulse. 

"Good girl," he lauds, mirth and lust radiating from his deep timbre.

His choppy breaths mingle with yours through the phone.

As you lie on your side on the bed, the haze clears and a vast well of shame blooms inside you. 

After a few minutes of silence, he laughs again. 

Satisfaction drips from his tone.

"I’m proud of you for playing my little game," he says. "And now, we have our first souvenir together, in 4K."

Your brows knit as you shakily pick up the phone.

"What do you m-mean?"

He doesn’t reply, instead humming softly, "Goodnight, princess."

The call ends as he hangs up. 

Quivering lips bound shut by stupor, you quickly grab your bear and hold him against your chest. You bury yourself under the covers as quiet tears roll down your face. 

You don’t get much sleep if any that night, tossing and turning when you’re not drenching the sheets with the salty streams pouring from your eyes. 

Despite him never entering the room, terror paralyzes you. 

He might as well have, his sinister presence coiled around you and the power he held over you tattooed into your very bones. 

You bolt awake in the morning, the wild drumming of your heart blaring in your ears.

The first thing you do is rush to collect  your phone. But frustration roars inside you when you realize it died during your fitful sleep. 

Heart in your throat, you scramble in search of your charger. Once you find it in a forgotten corner of your bed, a relieved exhale ripples through your lips. 

Impatient, you groan as you wait for the lightning bolt icon to shift to one percent. The painful sluggishness of it escalates your blood pressure even more. 

You bounce on your bed as your phone takes what seems like eternity and beyond to turn itself on. 

When it finally does, you don't even have to look through your contacts to find Mindy, your best friend appearing in your most recent calls.

You punch the number and chew your nails anxiously. 

Ghastly thoughts lurk about your mind with each lingering, torturous second. 

What if he lied? 

What if he toyed with you for no reason? 

Of course, your roommate picks this opportune moment to knock on the door.

"Hey! Did you lock me out? Open the fucking door!"

Startled, your head snaps up.

"Not now, Vanessa," you yell, herding your focus back to your phone. "Pick up, pick up, pick up…"

You hear your roommate mutter 'bitch' on the other side of the door and kick it one last time before walking away. 

All your calls go to voicemail after a few rings. You lose hope, already picturing the worse. In your sleep-deprived, frazzled brain, the image of your friends’ lifeless forms lying sprawled on the floor is conjured. 

Your gaze fills with tears as you plummet at the end of your bed. 

While the sun’s basking your room in light, your world has never been this dark. 

It’s the pathetic state you remain in as you amble across the hallways later, no cheer in your step as you drag your feet to class. 

Each of your thoughts is asieged by your friends’ fate. Who knows if they even made it through the night, despite your best efforts to comply with Ghostface’s sick demands.

Your dispirited trek comes to a sudden halt as you catch sight of them, strolling to your first class with their arms linked. 

You all but tackle Mindy into a hug after racing down the hallway. 

"Mindy!" you shriek, overwhelmed with emotion at having her in your arms, safe, whole and - most importantly - alive. 

She laughs, both she and Anika casting you a puzzled stare. 

"Wow, is something wrong? Not that I mind random hugs but…"

You punch her in the rib and rear back with a scowl. 

"You didn't answer your phone, dingus! I was worried sick."

Mindy winces in response to your outburst. 

"Ouch. Sorry, mom," she jests, but when she notes the way your eyes fill with tears again, concern invades her features. Her tone softens as she elaborates, "Anika and I were…busy last night, so our phones were on silent."

They share a secret smile, hands twining. Your cheeks warm as understanding dawns over you. 

You approach them and give them a tight hug.

"I…I’m just happy to see you both, that’s all," you mumble between quivering sobs. You take a minute to soak in the fact that they’re okay, that you can feel their beating hearts against your own. 

Your friends are okay. Ghostface kept his promise. 

Despite how humiliated and violated last night made you feel, at least there is one perk…your friends lived through it. 

Anika rubs soothing circles on your back.

"Well, we’re happy to see you too. Always." She tilts her head and studies you. "Wanna grab lunch later? Talk about what’s really going on with you?"

Gulping a pacifying breath, you fall back. You look at both their faces, scrunched in worry. You’re thankful for them…but you can’t talk about last night to anyone. 

In fact, you’d rather toss the whole ordeal into a well of oblivion. You feel dirty enough as it is. Tainted. 

Still, spending time with them is just what you need. 

"I’d love that," you chime, swallowing your tears long enough for them to disappear from view. 

But as soon as they’ve vacated the hallway, the ephemeral mask of cheerfulness you donned before crumbles. 

You shrink into a mess of tears in a dusky corner of the faculty, hiding behind a set of stairs no one ever uses. 

"I have tissues if you want. I have t-three tissues."

"Ethan?" Your mouth parts as Ethan’s staggering presence crowds your vision. He’s crouched in front of you, that same lopsided, bashful smile he had at the party decorating his lips. Sun beams hit his dark curls, highlighting the russet and chestnut hues of his thick mane. 

You slowly blink, noticing his outstretched hand and the tissues in it. 

You accept them gracefully and dab your eyes with one. 

"Hey." He sits next to you under the stairs and leans against the wall. "Wanna talk about it?"

You sniffle and shake your head in response. 

Ethan nods in acknoledgement. You appreciate that he doesn’t push, settling for sitting with you as you cry in your hand.

"Okay," he says when your weeping alleviates. "Then, maybe we can go to a café and study? Since you’ve missed our first session anyway."

Embarrassment surges inside you. Right. You and Ethan agreed to meet at the library two days ago. 

You were caught amidst your guilt spiral regarding Connor’s death at the time. 

You squeeze his arm and bunch your lips apologetically. 

"I’m so sorry, Ethan. It totally slipped my mind."

He waves a dismissive hand in the air. 

"It’s okay. You were dealing with a lot. I get it."

Deflating, you release his bicep and sigh. 

"Still, that’s not okay. You were so nice to offer."

"Don’t worry about it. Besides, I’ve got time now," he informs.

Hugging your knees, you flash him a hollow smile. 

"Thank you. You're a really good friend." You grimace. "I'm sorry Chad and Mindy gave you such a hard time the other day."

He gives a nonchalant shrug. 

"It's okay. Could be anyone, right?" He pauses, scrutinizing your face. "Even me."

This draws the first genuine laugh of the week from you.

Ethan being Ghostface? The mere idea is ludicrous. 

There is an ocean of differences between the monster who coerced you into doing dirty things last night and the sweet boy who handed you tissues today. 

They could never be the same person. That’s silly. 

"I’d find that very hard to believe," you say between watery chuckles. 

The only reply you get from Ethan is a wide, tight-lipped smile as he slants his head sideways, his gaze lighting up as it runs over you. 

~

#ethan landry x reader #ethan landry #dark!ethan landry #scream vi #ethan landry x you #scream #scream 6 #ethan landry x bimbo!reader

[yuyu1024]

12:05

Pairings: San × y/n

Genre/tags: established relationship, non idol

Warning: 🔞 fluff, smut/angst, cursing, unprotected sex, unprotectec sex, pet names [lmk if i miss anything]

Words: 0.8k

Disclaimer:

- this story is just made up

- english is not my first language, please be nice 😊

Note: repost. Check pinned post for more ♥️

***

His groaning, his heavy breathing and his pelvis slamming onto you as he pushes himself in you more echoes all throughout the your dorm.

Your legs up high supported by him whilst your hands are gripping onto the both sides of the bed, holding on for dear life. "Holy shit!" You cry as it get more intense. "Yes! Yes! More! Ah!"

He is on his knees on the bed, holding both your legs lifting your lower back a bit so he could find the perfect spot in you. "You're so tight." He growls. His sweat is dripping from the side of his beautiful chiseled face. "God, you feel so fucking.... good!" He thrusts more as he feels your core tightens everytime he hits the spot.

"Fuck!" You screech, arching your back feeling him more thicker in you. "Fuck! San! I think... I'm... ah!!!" Tears streams down from the corner of both your eyes. "I'm gonna come." You breathe

"Come for me." He says letting your legs rest over his shoulder as he bents down to reach you for a kiss. "You. Sound. So. Fucking. Sexy." He said in between. "Soak me up baby." He grins and then leaves you hanging from the smooch. "Imma wreck you. I need you to let it go."

And he did. Your head starts to pulsate and your core is now a ticking time bomb about to explode.

"San!" You cry as he slams hard and poking you all through out. "Shit!" You gasp for air, catchong your breathe as you slowly feel yourself let go and release. "Oh my gosh..."

Your back finally relaxes a bit. You have climaxed and its so beautiful.

"Baby," he positions himself on top of you. His broad shoulders covering you up and his elbows pinning down on the bed. "We're not yet done..." he starts to make out with you again. Starting from kissing you from behind your ear, down to your neck and goes straight down to collarbone before going straight to your lips which are always welcoming.

"You're such a good kisser you know that." You says smiling

"That's because its you who I am kissing, baby."

The kiss is wet, tasty and a lot more sucking than smooches. But its very sensual and filled with love.

"I fucking love you." He murmurs, smiling while looking straight into your eyes.

"I love you too." You answer, running your fingers through his black hair.

"Ah..." he then closes his eyes as he slowly moves his pelvis again, finding the rythm. "Your...  clenching... ah... so tight..." his breathing picks up

"Fill me up, my Sannie." You plant a soft kiss on his cheek as you wrap your legs around his sexy waist.

"Oh, baby... you are asking for trouble." He smirks

Bitting your lower lip, you begin to tease him. Your hands are now holding your boobs. Kneading it for his liking and playing around on your n!pples.

"Fuck." He snarls before lowering his head to suck.

"Baby..." you close your eyes enjoying how his tongue tickles you and plays at your sensitive tip.

"Oh shit!" San hisses as he feels himself getting there.

"Go on... San... Fill me up..." you whisper

San's thrusts are faster now. He is on the edge. "Baby! You're pu$sy feels so fucking good."

Three more strokes after, San collapses on you. His face burried beside yours, almost covered with your long hair.

"I think... your dormmate should go on a three day trip more often..." he says

"Why?"

"So we could always fuck like this. Not worrying about them hearing us or..." he pulls himself out of you and lay flat beside you, smiling. "Catching us making out and almost naked in the living room."

You laugh, "we traumatized them quite a bit huh?"

"We did." His dimples and eyes smile shows how amused he is. "We did say sorry..."

"I know.." you push yourself up using your elbow, facing him. "Maybe next time... we should be kinder and find a new place where we could have sex."

"A motel? The motel closest at the university is quite a drive still... and risky we get caught by your brother."

"Hmm... maybe... another safer option is... just in case my friends kicks us out here next time is... at your place?"

His eyebrows shoot up. "At my dorm?"

"Yes."

"I live with guys, baby."

"So...?"

He gets up and looks a bit stunned. "Baby, that's a bit dangerous. I'm worried they will get hard and horny when they hear us fucking. Our walls are not soundproof."

"Let them hear... besides..." you go on your knees and wrap your arms around his nape. "It's just an option... let just wish my lovely friends don't dump me."

You move forward and make out with San again. You then go over him, legs spread sitting on him and your core inches away from his length

"Baby, you're turning me on."

You both look down and see him getting hard again.

Wrapping your arms around his nape and pushing your hips forward, making his tip slighty brush on your core. "Round two.." you whisper, smiling.

#yuyu1024 #ateez smut #ateez angst #ateez fanfic #choi san smut #san x y/n #san x reader #san smut #ateez san #ateez imagines #ateez x fem reader #ateez x female reader #ateez x y/n #ateez x reader #atz scenarios #atz smut #atz x reader #atz fanfic #ateez fanfiction #ateez san smut #smut #fanfic #smut writing #kpop smut #choi san angst #kpop fanfic #ateez x you

[itsmealaiah]

so okay this might seem rlly weird but if u do fanfics then can u make like a tom kaulitz fanfic where tom has been really cold to "the reader" n then the reader wants to break up n then tom gets like rlly mad and upset and they have like rlly angry sx 🤗😭 if this is too weird or smt then its totally fine and sorry i didnt get into detail too much im not good with writing 😭😭 also love you 🤞

oh my goodness yes a million times yes

You're not leaving me (tom kaulitz x fem reader)

2022 Tom x Fem Reader

Tags/ warnings: yelling, shattering of objects, threatening, slight blood/ cuts, unprotected intercourse, all the regular smut features, I'll try to cover every base bc I love this request 😘 🫶 😍

In this story, I'm absolutely not saying Tom Kaulitz is a bad person. This fanfiction is all my imagination and has nothing to do with how he actually acts and is in real life. Thank you, and enjoy.

also MDNI

Your POV:

It's been three weeks since Tom returned from tour, and he hasn't said but a couple words to me. I was growing more and more distant from him by the day, and I knew he was too. He was always working, rehearsing, or on tour. Truth was, I missed him. I missed him so much it hurt.

I tried talking to him so many times, to which he just blew me off, giving me no acknowledgment whatsoever, as if I'm invisible. And seeing him with all those girls at interviews made me feel even worse. I was growing tired of no affection, and was planning to end the relationship.

We've been together for two years, and I hated wasting what we had, but I needed someone who cared for my needs, who gave me love and all of them. I had been avoiding this, trying to find good in him but it became too much to bear at this point.

I gathered my confidence, and walked to his office where he sat, clearly tensed as he worked on music for the album. "Tom?" I asked, trying not to startle or annoy him. I shouldn't even have to do that, my reason for this attempt.

"What?" He shouted, getting up and walking over to where I stood, leaning on the door frame. Fear began to build up, and I felt helpless as his tall body was against me, angered already. "What could you possibly need?" He hissed.

He pushed me out of the office roughly, nearly throwing me into the living room. I stood my ground, firm. "I want to break up" I finally said, getting my worst fear of what could happen out of my system. I'm not going to be pushed around anymore. He neared me, huffing lowly.

"What?" He said, and I immediately regretted my decision, but it needed to be said. "I want to break up" I repeated, still holding my ground. "I heard you the first time" He yelled, and began to smash every memory we had built together, the picture frames, the little trinkets we had collected, shattered onto the ground within mere seconds.

I let him continue his rage, too afraid to move. I let him destroy everything, every solid core memory we had together because I was too fucking scared. "Weak" My head told me over, and over, and over, replaying like some sickness, corrupting my thoughts. He paused, and stopped, looking straight at me.

I didn't recognize this man at first, this man with hate, anger, pure, unfiltered anger in his deep brown eyes. I hadn't recognized him at all for the past three weeks, to be truthful to myself. I missed that man he was before tour, before all of this. I didn't know what happened, or if anything even happened at all.

Maybe he was just sick of me, sick of my constant bullshit. He picked up a vase and threw it straight at me, causing my skin to break and blood to slowly seep out. I felt it but didn't do anything, fear in my feeble, small body too strong to comprehend anything.

He looked at my arm, the red liquid making its way down the skin. He stopped in his mission of destruction and approached me again. I was too scared to form simple words, let alone full sentences.

"Go upstairs, now." He demanded. "I'll give you a few minutes to clean your wound but be ready. I want you stripped, bare." He pushed me in the direction of the stairs. I was paralyzed. "Move bitch! Now!" His hands were placed on my back, making me nearly fall over. I stumbled, but quickly regained my balance.

I walked up the stairs, the blood seeping out so much it made my head go fuzzy as I trudged up the final step. I made it to our bedroom, more likely his bedroom, and opened the door to the bathroom adjoined to the room.

I grabbed bandaids, and some cream for the cut, rubbing it in deep. "What did he say?" I tried my best to remember the words he roared at me before forcing me up here. "Something..bare?" I couldn't quite form proper thoughts, I had lost a good amount of blood.

"Stripped bare" My brain corrected, finally beginning to work again. I sighed and then my eyes widened in understanding. "Great" I muttered, cleaning the rest of the liquid off of my sore arm. I stepped into the dim-lit bedroom and began to undress.

I laid back on the bed, the cold air making its way to my skin. I heard the subtle sound of footsteps outside the room and the door clicking. I was looking up at the ceiling, trying with all of my might to not look at Tom. "You actually listened" His deep voice echoed throughout the room, seeming to bounce around.

He stepped onto the bed, hovering above my still-lying body. I was too afraid to move. His lips began to work on my neck, leaving marks. He was still fully clothed. His hands traveled down my skin, pulling me against him. A moan was beginning to build itself inside my throat, soon begging to be let out.

His lips were still at my neck, but his head rose slowly, lips hovering over mine. His breath was hot and ragged as he attacked my mouth, tongue fighting my own for dominance. His hands groped the sides of my head, and I was squirming underneath him. I moaned into his mouth, and I felt his lips curve into a smile.

"Good girl" He told me, pulling his shirt above his head. He again attacked my lips, tugging at them so hard they might've split and bled.

I whimpered loudly as his lips wrapped around my nipple. My back began to arch off the bed but his hands pushed me down roughly, and I gasped. "Stay still schlampe" He commanded as his tongue lapped around the bud. I nearly screamed, trying to hold my groans in.

He slipped his pants off, revealing his boxers. I whined and reached for him, trying to hold him close. "Be patient" He demanded, finally stripping out of the underwear. He held me down, hot breath fanning against my earlobe.

"Be good for me, and I'll let you come" He said, breath ragged. I gasped, and his head lifted from my ear. "Ready?" He asked, his length teasing my entrance. "Don- don't do that" I huffed, whimpering. "Do what? This?" He plunged into me and began pounding in and out, tears beginning to cloud my eyes.

I screamed in pleasure. His pace was frantic, the brutal thrusting making my back arch up off the bed. His hand began to rub between my folds, and my hips jerked up. "Such a good fucking toy" His voice was husky as he made me moan so loud the neighbors were probably going to complain.

He was looking up at me the entire time, sweat dripping down his forehead. I was panting, choked sobs left my throat, escaping through my parted lips."Please please stop" I cried out, as his pace was ruthless.

"You really think -fuck- I'm going to stop after what you did?" He groans, rocking me back and forth, the headboard slamming into the wall. My moans were getting more quiet, sobs overtaking them. I was too busy having my body drunk in pleasure to fully compute what the hell was actually happening.

He groaned and began to twitch inside me. "You almost there love?" He asked through a whimper. I nodded and began to feel the familiar knot build up. He released in me, juices coating my inner walls. I moaned and scratched his back as I came, thighs shaking after I did. "I'm not done yet" He grinned.

His fingers were pushing the liquids back in, making me sob. I was beginning to get overstimulated, which is what I could only guess he wanted. He rubbed my slick harshly, and I began to cry. The pain was quickly melting into pleasure as I shook. He looked up at my teary eyes, thrusting his fingers into me roughly.

"Tom!" I screeched, my second release coming hard and fast. He didn't stop, knowing I was close again. He never left me edged, always wanted me to reach the peak of pleasure, which was troubling me now.

"Stop!" I screamed again, his eyes widened and he pulled his fingers out. I was sobbing, my whole body shaking. "Oh love" He sighed, hugging me tightly. "Why did you ignore me before" I cried out, squeezing him. "I missed you" I sniffled into his chest. "I'm sorry schatzi, I just thought you didn't want to be with me anymore, which was kind of true"

He rubbed the back of my head calmingly. I soon fell asleep, wrapped up in his embrace. "Goodnight sweet girl" He tucked me in and nestled against me, eyes shutting and sleep taking over his body

a/n: i'm gonna try and two 2 writings a day now. next week i might only do one per day depending on schedules xx alaiah

also THANK YOU FOR THIS REQUEST LOVE YOUU ❤️ 😍 🫶 😘

#tom kaulitz #tom kaulitz imagines #tom kaulitz x reader #tokio hotel x reader #tokio hotel #tokio hotel x you #tom kaulitz smut #tom kaulitz angst #tom kaulitz x y/n #tom kaulitz x you #itsmealaiah

[captainkirkk]

✩ WEEKLY FIC ROUND-UP ✩

All the fics I’ve read and really enjoyed in the past week-ish. Reminder: This list features any and all ratings and themes. Please look at tags and warnings on ao3 before reading.

DC

my dearly departed by redrobin1989

Kon heard the stories about how Tim had fallen apart after he died. He couldn’t imagine what Tim had gone through, what he’d been feeling. Even now, with the shoe now on the other foot, Conner doesn’t know how to cope. Especially when he needs to keep his boyfriend’s collapsing family together.

Exit Strategy by smilebackwards

Batman needs a Robin and Batman has a Robin. Tim is just extraneous now, vestigial. He’s a bandage over a healed wound. He doesn’t know what he’s hanging on to.

Or: Tim didn’t expect his exit strategy from the Batfamily to involve quite so much bonding time with Damian over Wayne Enterprises bureaucracy.

the capillaries in my eyes are bursting by Scarlet_Ribbons

Bruce grunts, standing up. “Jenkins said the same. What about what you weren’t told?”

And without dissembling, Jason says, “I think they fucked that kid up, B.”

[Jack and Janet die. As things get weirder and weirder, it feels like Tim might be at the center of the unfolding conspiracy.]

Stranger Things

and i know that you don’t, but if i ask you if you love me— by fakecharliebrown

Once, only a few weeks before his parents decide he’s too old to be tucked into bed at night, Steve grabs his mother by the wrist and asks, “Does Father love me?”

“Of course he does,” she says immediately, smoothing the blanket where it rests over his chest.

Steve blinks up at her. “Then how come he never says it?”

She purses her lips. “He shouldn’t have to, sweetheart. You should just know.”

(It isn’t until years down the line that Steve realizes she’d somehow turned that into being his fault.)

or; Steve Harrington through the years, on loving and being loved.

Percy Jackson

percy jackson and the scrutiny of his coworkers by pqrker

Jim turned back to the tank and looked at Marcie the seal, who was now staring at the spot his coworker had been standing just moments before with that same strange look of reverence in her eyes.

Percy Jackson truly was the oddest person Jim Elpool had ever worked with.

Or: 5 times percy's coworkers were confounded by his fish magic, plus 1 time they try to figure it out.

Star Wars

Bounty by smilebackwards

"You took a puck for Luke Skywalker?”

Din looks up at the tenseness in Cara’s voice.

“Yes?” The puck for Skywalker had been passed over by half a dozen hunters, surprising considering the price on his head, but Din had assumed that was because his last known location was Coruscant. The Core is a dangerous place to hunt bounties.

“If I didn’t consider you a friend,” Cara says, with a tone that sounds like she’s reconsidering it, “I’d shoot you where you stand for admitting that."

SVSSS

What Is Seen by CaveteDracones

....is not [always] the real truth.

Truth-compelling artifacts in the hands of an enemy to one side, SYSTEM-mandated silence on the other, and Shen Qingqiu caught between the two. Is it too late to go back to the Water Prison?

and judgment is just like a cup that we share by Kieron_ODuibhir

The blob finished rotating into place in a way that wasn’t quite compatible with geometry as Shen Qingqiu understood it, and cleared a throat it didn’t seem to have.

“Greetings,” it said, somehow clearly addressing him in particular more than the room as a whole despite its total lack of features other than blueness and translucency. “I’m here on behalf of the Hyper-Celestial Peace and Order Enforcement Bureau. Crime scene secure, proceeding to interviews. Beginning with Subject One: You are Shen Qingqiu, formerly Shen Yuan, also known as Peerless Cucumber?"

#happy monday everyone #i'm so exhausted i made this list with my eyes half closed #my posts #weekly fic round up #fic recs #svsss recs #sw recs #pjo recs #dc recs #stranger things recs

[iamthecomet]

The biggest issue with the Dew vs Sodo argument is Papa called him Sodo on stage. I'm not saying it's right by any means for the Fandom to call the ghoul Sodo especially when, if I were him, and I saw my IRL nickname being used in fanfics that have some of the content that many of these stories do, I'd be wigged the fuck out. However, what I'm trying to say is, I can see the "well Papa called him that on stage" argument get made by the hard-core Sodo Ghoul name stans.

First of all, thank you for sending this ask! It's a good discussion to have.

Second, I totally get where those people are coming from. And I respect that reasoning. I genuinely refer to him on stage as Sodo when I'm talking to people not in this side of the fandom. But I'm also talking about the man, and not the ghoul when I do it.

And there is nuance to the argument on both sides, of course. And I'm not trying to shit on anyones preferences, genuinely call him whatever you want.

But I'm also not going to pretend it doesn't make me VERY uncomfortable. And usually, I just can choose to avoid it. The tag change has made that much harder.

I think fanfic/art is where I draw the line in my own head. Like I can watch live clips and think of him as both Dew and Sodo (who are, in my mind, two different people). But when it comes to putting him in made-up scenarios he's Dew always.

In fan works, it just blurs the line too much. I genuinely do not want to think about the musician when I'm thinking/reading/writing about the ghoul.

I'm glad you sent this ask. Because you're right. This is exactly the argument. And it's a fair one. And I get it. But I just can't make the leap. Because youre right, the idea of him being aware of the fics is bad no matter what, but its worse when his IRL nickname is attatched them.

Tldr: There HAS to be a place where we draw the line between ghouls and the humans who play them. This one is mine.

#comet comments

[usopps-devotee]

Monster trio + Usopp with a stoner s/o headcanons

Tags: sfw, mentions of drugs and alcohol, boys being boys ig, typos probably

Usopp

• Cares less than most think, even joins you for a blunt every now and then when things are calm

• It's not often you get to smoke with him but his stories get funnier and more outrageous

• Makes sure sanji has snacks prepared for your munchies

• Hotboxed his workshop too many times to count, if the crew can't find you he knows it's filled to the brim with smoke

• Worries that you'll green out sometimes like he did when he first smoked, most cautious of your intake

• Gets Hella touchey, like this man refuses to take his hands off of you

Sanji

• Shook to his core???

• He's fine with you smoking it's just now he's not the only one on the ship

• Always makes sure both of your lighters have fuel

• No papers/blunts? That's fine he let's you freak one of his cigs and use that

• Snack mountain for your munchie

•  luffy isn't allowed near it per sanji's request

• Can and will roll for you if you ask and makes the prettiest ones you've ever seen

• More verbally affectionate then normal but in a quiet way

• whispers of affection and its honestly a nice change

Zoro

• Only one who doesn't join you coward (but also don't peer pressure people tho)

• Neither of you are sober at any given time, If it's not one of you on something it's both of you

• Somehow you both get lost even more than zoro being on his own,

• the crew really needs a tracker for yall at this point

• Sees you with a j in one hand and a bottle in the other as a sign to take a break from training

• Get so high you cant/don't want to fight? Don't worry he's got you covered !

• Go ahead and roll another if you would like

Luffy

• Someone pray for sanji and the combined amount of food the two of you are gonna eat

• This man already eats a lot, now add munchies to the mix??????

• Purely the reason sanji has to triple the food budget

•  give that poor baby some rest PLEASEE he needs it

• Pulls an ace the first time he smokes and falls asleep face first into his food

• Absolutely CANNOT roll, will fuck up the blunt if you try to let him do so

• Decent with rolling leafs and it's the only thing you can trust him with atp

#monkey d. luffy #monster trio #zoro #roronoa zoro #zoro x reader #sanji fluff #sanji x reader #sanji #onepiece sanji #zoro one piece #zoro x you #sanji headcanons #zoro headcanons #luffy x y/n #luffy fluff #god usopp #usopp #ussop #usopp x reader #usopp headcanons #mugiwara no luffy #straw hat pirates #sanji x y/n #sanji x gn reader #zoro x gn reader #luffy headcanons #luffy x gn reader #usopp x y/n #usopp one piece #usopp x you

[demxnicprxncess]

GxG Smut "Can't Sleep"

YALL IM FEELING OVERLY CONFIDENT IN MY SEXUALITY RN AND ITS 1 AM I HAVE SCHOOL TMR BUT I HAD THIS SCENARIO PICTURE WHOEVER TF YOU WANT, I managed to imagine both Sarah Paulson and Lady Gaga during different moments. (Don't ask.)

Taglist: @kitwalkersgfff, @ppawmpkin, @yes-divine-ruler, @quicksilversg1rl, @charsdunkie, @eddiemunsonsbitch69, @dahmevan, @sultrysullen dm me to be added or removed dears. (idk if you guys wanna be tagged for my wlw stories sorry js lmk!)

CW: WLW cs im gay, cursing cs im popeye the sailor, overly detailed because im hyper, scissoring and tribbing, dirty talk, titty worship cs its women, no men, purely porn with no plot, MAKING LOVE, ITS SEX!

Rolling around against the soft sheets that wrapped around my half nude body as I practically whimpered at the things my girlfriend did to me in my dream, only to be woken up by my actual girlfriend. "Baby, are you okay? You're all sweaty and whiney..." I looked at her squinting to read her expression in the dark room, before leaning over to cut the light on. "What?" She laughed softy before pulling me into her chest, I felt the side of my sweaty face being pressed against her pillowy boobs, I felt like I was in heaven. "What were you dreaming about pretty girl?" I looked up at her and smiled bashfully before pushing her down onto the bed and sitting on top of her each of my thighs on the side of her waist. "Just how good it feels when you eat me out." She looked up at me and smiled before bringing her hands to my thighs and then my waist. "Oh yeah?" I leaned down close to her lips barely letting them touch before mumbling a soft "Yeah." into her lips as I kissed her. I slid my hips down so my pussy was in line with hers. I slid my hand down in between us and slipped it into her panties, tracing figure eights along her clit feeling as her body stutters against mine. "You like that?" I pull back from this kiss still moving my fingers before using my free hand to push her hair out of her face. "Alot." I smiled once more now removing my finger and pulling down her panties and mine. "As much as I'd love to recreate my dream I can't. Cause damn, I really fucking need you." I pushed her legs up to fold her knees in reach with her still covered breast whilst I undid my bra and then laid myself at the perfect angle to where her clit was lined perfectly with mine. I gave a gentle testing grind to make sure that whilst stimulating myself I could stimulate her, her somewhat loud moan being everything I need to tell me that I was doing right. But before I could start, I had to remove her bra, I reveled in the sight of her boobs, bare or not. I placed a hand on her boob before grinding with a bit more force now, the pleasure striking from my core all the way down to the tip of my toes. I sped up the little pushes feeling her body quiver in pleasure undermine while her moans grew in volume and intensity. "Shh baby, we wouldn't want the neighbors to hear now, would we? Let 'em hear how good I fuck you in the middle of the night?" She shook her head no, and I leaned down to kiss her, swallowing every moan she sent my way and pushing my hips against hers even harsher before moving my finger to massage her scalp through her tangled hair that flung around her head and clung to her sweaty face. I pulled back feeling myself getting close knowing she finishes before me she must be holding it, I pushed with more force feeling my arousal pool out and mix with her that had also started pouring out of her hole. "You're so needy for me princess." Her moans got louder, I could feel her body shake as she reached her highly anticipated orgasm following in her footsteps, I reached mine, moaning her name out in pure ecstasy. "I have a feeling we're going to sleep well tonight.

#american horror story #sarah paulson #lady gaga #wlw #jessica lange #ahs smut #kpop smut #blackpink #jenna ortega #wednesday #eleven #sapphic #leasbians #options #scissor sisters #wlw ns/fw #boobilicious #1 am ramblings #genshin impact scenarios #cod x reader #lana winters #ally mayfair x reader #the countess #the countess smut

[ameenvie]

Stress relief - Keeley Jones x gn!reader

masterlist | ao3 | ko-fi | fic recs

Word count: 1.2k Pairing: Keeley Jones x gn!reader Warnings: nsfw, smut, minors DNI! thigh riding, office sex, porn with a smidge of a plot?, I guess basically that's it? Just a good ole' smut! Tags: smut Prompt/Summary: Kinktober day 5 - thigh riding A/N: I know it might be a bit short, but I hope you like it nevertheless! ❤❤❤

~~~~~~~

You furrowed your brows as you were looking at your screen at work. You pinched the bridge of your nose and looked at the time – it was almost lunchtime. The back of your chair creaked as you leaned back, letting out a sigh. Your job was nothing extraordinary – basically just boring paperwork for AFC Richmond -, but it came with a separate cozy, albeit very small office.

The door of said office flung open and you flinched before your eyes laid on Keeley and her beaming smile.

“Hey babes” she chimed as she hurried around your desk to be on the same side as you and leaned against it with a lunch bag in her hand. You leaned forward and planted your hand on her cheek, pulling her into a chaste kiss.

“Hi” you replied, looking into her eyes, smiling. Her good mood was infectious, and she could light up a whole town with all her energy, which you loved her for.

She pulled a chair next to your own and plopped down onto it, reaching into her lunch bag, and getting a sandwich out for her, and one for you.

“You shouldn’t have” you smiled as you took it from her, taking a small bite. You usually had your lunch like this, just the two of you in your small office. Although Keeley had a much bigger one, you preferred this one, it was cozier, more intimate. You were chatting about your day, going back and forth with short stories and anecdotes about annoying colleagues, before you noticed something was off.

“Babe?” you asked, which she replied to with a small “hmm” before you continued. “Is there something wrong?” The question lingered unanswered for a minute before she let out a big sigh.

“It’s just that we have this huge fucking project” she started, while fiddling with her fingers in her lap. “And we have to present to our client, and I’m mad nervous about it!”

You pulled her out of her chair and back onto your lap. You tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear before cupping her face, as you planted a soft kiss on her lips. They were soft and sweet, and they tasted like strawberry lipgloss. You knew a little distraction could do wonders against the stress and you were right.

She held onto the back of the chair with one hand, the other rested in your hair, scraping your scalp ever so lightly. She opened her mouth to let out a whimper and your tongue grazed hers. This definitely wasn’t the first time you were doing extracurricular activities in your office, but the excitement still lit your nerves up like a Christmas tree.

She repositioned herself to straddle you completely, and your hands wandered to her ass under her miniskirt, pushing it up a bit. You bit your lip as your gaze caught her lace underwear peeking out under it. You squeezed Keeley’s ass before pulling her into another kiss, this time more passionate than before. Your hand flew to the back of her neck, pulling her closer while the other moved slowly to the wet patch on her underwear, your touch leaving goosebumps in its wake. You didn’t even touch her yet and she was already a whimpering mess, grinding her hips back and forth.

You raised one of your thighs to align with her throbbing core and she moaned at the sensation.

“You like that, babe?” you purred into her ear as she starting to slowly roll her hips back and forth, her still clothed pussy rubbed against you. She threw her head back before answering.

“Yeah, love. Feels amazing.”

While she was slowly tasting the feeling, your hands moved to unbutton her blouse. She looked down at you as she bit her lip and smiled. Your hands were working slowly, undoing the buttons one by one before pushing the silky fabric down her arms as you freed one of her breasts from the bra she was wearing.

“You’re mad gorgeous you know that?” you asked before dipping your head to plant a soft kiss on her breast, slowly massaging the other one. You started at her soft and sweet skin, nipping and kissing on the tender flesh before you gingerly licked her hard nipple. She hissed at the sensation and rolled her hip a bit harder on your thigh. The sight and the feeling ignited sparks in your body, arousal building somewhere deep inside you, the need to have her burning your body until it ate you up. But you didn’t care because your mission was to make her feel good. So good.

Your free hand slowly moved its way to her throbbing core, still covered by the very wet lace fabric.

“Don’t you want these off?” you whispered in her ear, and the only answer you got was an eager nod and a few shallow breaths. You chuckled and helped her off of you before you knelt down in front of her, starting to slowly pull down the lacy fabric. Your eyes never left hers as you lifted her skirt up a little and gave a soft kiss to her cunt, swiping your vet tongue against her clit. You swore her knees almost gave out before you continued to pull down her panties, leaving soft kisses on her thigh as you went. When you finished you pulled her back onto your lap. You drew a few lazy circles with your thumb against her clit before you pushed your thigh back into position.

“I’m sorry babe, but the thought of you getting yourself off on me is too fucking hot” you smiled before you kissed her again. You didn’t have to say it twice, she was rolling her hips against you in a heartbeat.

“Maybe I’ll come back for more later. The teaser was bloody amazing” she said between kisses before you moved your lips back to her tits and sucked a purple mark onto one of them. Then you moved to her nipples once again, licking, sucking, biting on them. Keeley’s hips were moving faster and faster on you, and both the feeling and the sight of her cunt on you made you so aroused you thought you'd blow up.

“You’re so fucking good” you whispered against her skin, your mouth never leaving her chest. Your grip was tightening on her hip, and you supported her as her moves started to get a bit more erratic, stronger, and you knew she was getting close. “That’s it, babe, come and get what you want. I’m yours, that’s it” you murmured against the soft skin of her neck before she grabbed your jaw and pulled you into a sloppy kiss as she rode your thigh with more force and speed, her breathing shallow while he moaned and whined into the kiss before she snapped.

She threw her head back and stalled her movement for a second before continuing in slow motions to ride out her high, while you were planting soft kisses on her warm body and caressed her skin.

“That was fucking amazing” she breathed as she leaned against you, and you drew lazy patterns on her back.

“You are fucking amazing, Keeley Jones” you chuckled before you kissed her once more.

#keeley jones x reader #keeley jones #ted lasso cast x reader #keeley jones ff #keeley jones imagine #keeley jones smut #gn!reader #smut #kinktober2023 #fawktober2023

[beyondthisdarkhouse]

What is the Tumblr kokobot mental health thing and why does it keep messaging me when I go into various mental health/neurodivergent tags? I'm generally looking for community and I don't appreciate this site deciding I am In Danger. You're a therapist and I feel like you've probably talked about mental health apps before so thought I'd ask

Uuuugh, that thing. I think I blocked it a couple months back. BUT, I'm going to be as fair to it as I can.

The part you and I bumped into is their automated chatbot, which monitors traffic on social media sites to detect people having mental health crises and try to convince them to access mental health support. Apparently their bot got good enough at detecting human behaviour patterns online that they actually spun it off into a separate company for a while and then sold their tech to a corporation, before returning to the mental health idea. They returned to it, critically, as a non-profit, which is why I'm willing to give it a second look at all.

tl;dr: I would not immediately warn everyone away from using it! Which is more than I could say for a lot of Silicon Valley mental health startups. I don't love the current implementation, but I think they might have the makings of a decent mutual aid platform for temporary moments of stress.

Long version below

Like, I was not a fan at all of Trill when Tumblr partnered with it, because I felt that they were using well-intentioned volunteers to do potentially harrowing and dangerous work without adequate training or support. (Or not-so-great volunteers, since I was dubious about their vetting process) And a lot of Kokobot's origin story is in some ways really similar to Trill.

Most of these startups and initiatives mean well. They want to make the world better and help provide comfort and support to people who need that. I admire them for their dedication to a good cause. However, I believe that when you are devoting significant resources to building a system where you ask people to choose you for support in their moments of vulnerability, you cannot put your intentions ahead of their needs.

Like: It is really great that people want to help the less-fortunate. I think it shows warmth of heart to want to go somewhere and build homes for the homeless. But if you've never built a house before, and the houses you build are so poorly constructed that they fall down or catch fire or whatever, and they wouldn't have if you'd put the equivalent amount of money into hiring local out-of-work carpenters to do the work properly, I don't think you should keep operating like that as a charity.

I'm also judging Koko a bit as the former teenager who wanted to help people, in terms of how much they provide guidance and support to the helpers they've recruited.

Finally, I feel the need to remind all of us, as useless as such reminders feel, that if you are not paying for a social media platform, you aren't a customer; you are the product. "Kokobot", the organization, the platform, the AI, are not the core producers of its value. Its users are. Without people in distress to whom to provide support, and without supportive people there in times of distress, it would not exist.

Maybe this will never be an issue. Maybe this conflict will never arise. Maybe the nonprofit organization will be devoted enough to the needs of its userbase that they will serve them faithfully and well. I hope so.

I'm just... jaded, by things I've seen before.

What I don't like at all:

It took me a lot of work to go from looking up Kokobot on Tumblr to understanding how the company worked, what using the app was like, and whether their work was being informed by anyone with a lick of knowledge about mental health care. I still don't know a lot of stuff about how they handle anonymity in situations like imminent suicide or homicide, or abuses of the platform.

Kokobot messaging people out of the blue is creepy as hell. My first response was, "Fuck off, I can TELL you're not ethical." Most ethical guidelines I know of for mental health therapists explicitly forbid directly soliciting clients ("Hey there, I can tell you've got a few issues. Here's my card"), especially when people appear psychologically vulnerable or in distress. The only wiggle room there is when you're working in disaster relief and crisis intervention, but that does not make it an "anything goes" situation.

@kokobot posting lots of testimonials from users about how great their service is. Again, something usually strictly forbidden by ethical standards! When someone has just come to you in distress and you've provided them help, and then ask them to give you a Yelp review, you're not usually going to get thoughtful, measured, and informed feedback. It's a weird power dynamic that might be great advertising, but not great informed consent.

While Koko might be a legit company that does its job well, its presence and behaviour opens up the field of what is acceptable behaviour on social media. If one app can track mental health tags and solicit vulnerable people into joining their group, why not another? What will stop Scientology (which has done this in person for decades) from creating a similar app, pitching it to people in need, and coaching its users to go off all their psychiatric medications and use pseudoscience instead? Where are the safeguards?

What's Not Terrible

Kokobot is clunky and weird, but like I said on my post on Trill, the hardest part of moderation on social media is the amount of labour it takes, and the human cost of that labour. It seems to me that by using AI, Koko might have found an efficient way to automate much of that labour.

I tried out the actual app itself, messaging on Telegram; for my "problem", I just said I was concerned that a friend was messaging Koko a lot and I wanted to make sure it was legit. Sending it out required answers to some pretty vital questions—did I feel hopeful or hopeless about the world? What kinds of best- or worst-case scenarios was I imagining? They were worded in a way that felt human and genuine, and the chatbot was responsive and encouraging before my problem ever got human eyes on it.

(For the record: These are questions that can very quickly give information on whether someone is likely to be a danger to themselves or anyone else, which are really important.)

Then, at the bot's suggestion, I also helped a couple other people, where I was given very rough and ready training on active listening, then coached into writing a response. It avoided a lot of on-ramps to community toxicity, inasmuch as the problems and replies were private and anonymous, and there were instant feedback options if anything was worrying or upsetting.

This process showed what I think was a more sophisticated and useful implementation of AI than, uh....... like 99% of the AI I've seen. This is mostly a statement on the state of AI, but still. Koko seems like the bot's responses were really carefully workshopped and designed by actual humans who knew about crisis intervention and risk assessment.

The replies I got to my "problem" were fairly good, empathetic and genuine. (The bot encourages people to be a little dorky, and seeing an auto-generated response I myself was suggested made me roll my eyes; this could reduce the value for some people.)

I can definitely see the benefit of encouraging people who are feeling distressed to help others. Engaging in peer support encourages empathy, and helps people feel like they've got something to offer, and that problems might be solvable.

In the end, Kokobot is an expansion of the kind of work volunteer-run distress and crisis hotlines do. It has the potential to do a lot of good, but the organization itself has to consider so many other factors and processes than its users do. I sincerely hope it and Tumblr are being extremely thoughtful and careful in how they handle this work.

I would be delighted to be proven wrong, and have them turn out to be totally amazing. I really hope they do.

#suicide discussion tw #mental health #kokobot

[lai-mar]

You know, I really appreciate that you’re out here defending this widely hated relationship. Maybe it’s because the anime-only fans are a very vocal majority right now, but I’ve seen people who ‘watched the anime then read the manga’ *still* shit on Laios and Marcille’s friendship. Like you don’t have to ship it but if you deny that they care about each other or deny that they have chemistry, did you even read the comic?? ‘Oh they’re just siblings/siblings-in-law!’ have you ever had a sibling. have you ever had a sibling-in-law. they do not act like siblings they act like *intimate* best friends. ‘Ridiculously comfortable around each other’ best friends. They have a relationship outside of Falin, that is what develops over the entire damn story. 90 chapters. What comic were you reading where you think Marcille can barely stand him.

Thanks for the ask! Very cathartic to see this. About to go on another rant again lol (will be repeating some of my old points but yeah I need to get it out of my system)

"Defending widely hated relationship" + "anime-only fans are a very vocal majority"

Okay, let me play devil's advocate for a second here. Let's say I despise L/M as a ship and it squicks me out greatly and I think it's a boring ship of pairing the male lead and the female lead. What should I do? Obviously go into L/M posts and argue about it instead of blocking the tag and stating my stance my calmly when someone asks me like your average fan who knows how to curate their fandom experience.

Okay, more devil's advocating. I despise L/M as a ship but I have read the manga and engaged with it critically and understood its themes. Which means I like L+M as a friendship in the same way I like the themes of eating and life cycle and the friendship between the party and the worldbuilding. Because all of these are core parts of the story told. So what I do is to block all shippers and ship tag and look for platonic fics and fanart like Your Average Fan Who Curates Their Experience.

Like I'm sorry. I genuinely feel some people are so caught up in the intense fanonisation of DM that they start forgetting about canon. And I KNOW I am not the only one feeling this way because I read the notes on my posts and other people's posts and there's a lot of good thoughts on this. Plenty of people appreciate them. But to some people in the wider fandom, are we reading the same manga? Our male lead and female lead are friends who save each other. They are not together canonically. So canonically, they don't even get into the way of shipping?????? People can have important intimate friendships outside of romance??? And it's a canon well established friendship? I would say it's one of the most well developed dynamics in the series that we see? We get shown and not told? We see images and words and interpret them in our brains?

Devil's advocate level 3. Let's say mainstream fanonisation of DM is real. F/M is a canon ship and they get together and they get married in the end and L+M become sibling in laws. Maybe L/K is a thing. This still does not erase the entire journey L+M and co went on to save Falin. This still does not erase their friendship and chemistry.

"‘Oh they’re just siblings/siblings-in-law!’ have you ever had a sibling. have you ever had a sibling-in-law."

Okay. I do have a sibling. At this point I've long accepted this much be some sort of cultural difference and some weird American / Western thing I am not used to. And the hilarious thing about DM is that we do get canon siblings!!! It's the fucking premise! Falin and Laios!! And they're fun!

I'm sorry but this must be some cultural difference. Like no younger sibling is calling their older sibling by their GIVEN NAME. The sheer disrespect. I'll be scandalised. As a person with a sibling I don't understand the fandomisation of making non related people siblings in fanon? I'm calling my friends my friends, not siblings. My sibling is like a sibling to me. My friends are like friends to me. Idk. I've written the word sibling so many times that it doesn't seem like a word anymore.

Obviously these are just my personal thoughts but I feel like objectively, there has been a fandomwide trend of grabbing a canon friendship between a man and a woman and going "THEY ARE SO SIBLINGS CORE XD" (not siblings in canon) (not related) (don't even look similar) (they're friends). A lot of times this is valid and even fun but sometimes I get the feeling people sometimes push the fanon sibling thing to show they're squicky about them romantically. To which I can only say: a man and a woman can genuinely only be friends. If you need to magically make them related so you / other people won't see their friendship romantically... it feels like a step back. Why are we doing heteronormativity.

I think I'm the type of person who enjoys and mains man + woman friendships in fandoms (which are, unsurprisingly, unpopular as ships and even as friendships until I start spreading propaganda and pumping fics on Ao3), and I think one of the things that get me is. A man who could be attracted to women + a woman who could be attracted to men having great chemistry but staying friends. I want to stress this is different from a man who is not interested in women / romance + a woman who is not interested in men / romance because there is almost zero chance of a reciprocal romantic relationship going on. But for the first case, which I feel like many people dumb down to "straight people shipping", it's even more precious for them to stay friends and not give into the heternormative expectations despite one or both of them possibly (but not necessarily) being heterosexual. Like, here are two people who could date each other but they're like "nah we work better as friends, so we stay friends". To me, this is one fantastic argument for friendship. Not everything has to be romantic. Even better if they considered and thought about the logistics, but decide their relationship is more special non romantically. Having a taste of how their relationship could go and going "thanks, but no thanks". Is this not a great display of sincere and stable friendship compared to people going "lol they can't work as a ship because they simply physically cannot tolerate the thought of each other romantically". I'm rambling here but I feel like this is what I feel across various dynamics and fandoms. At this point, I think somehow non romantic relationships genuinely fascinate me more than ships. Save me QPR save me.

"They have a relationship outside of Falin"

I feel like some manga readers have missed the point so badly when it comes to this. It's hilarious. They have a relationship outside of Falin it's the whole fucking point about coming to terms with grief and death! You know, one of the core themes of this story that you finished!

And of course this doesn't erase the love they have for Falin. Falin is clearly beloved and their main motivation, but hilariously enough (for the L+M deniers), the manga shows Laios and Marcille's "true" innermost desires being granted and it's not about reviving Falin even though they both clearly want her back and it's at the forefront of their minds. Laios turns into a monster. His curse isn't about Falin not coming back (even though that was his immediate thought), it's about him not being able to interact with monsters ever again. Marcille was traumatised by what happened to Falin (nightmare chapter) but when she turns into a dungeon lord, she goes about trying to fix the lifespans, showing her fear of loneliness and all her loved ones (NOT just a single person!!!!!!!!) dying before her. You can argue they didn't revive Falin with magic lord powers because they don't trust the lion / trust their own plan of eating her, but I think the manga focuses enough on their desires for the interpretation of "the lion fulfills their innermost desires that define their existence" to work. Marcille is the one who finds Laios first after he turned back and Laios broke Marcille free from the lion's influence etc etc we know they play a part in each other's arcs. Laios says they wouldn't be on this journey if Falin hadn't been digested. Marcille says in the end she was okay with Falin not being brought back this time. Laios invites Marcille to stay with him. It's in the text.

"Boring straight ship" or whatever

This comes from what a friend said about my main duo of another fandom but it's like "why isn't [ship] more popular" "because it's easy to fall into the boring trope of pairing a man and a woman together".

And this is a thing that does happen! But not to pairings with strong canon foundation and chemistry sorry. Don't look at me, look at canon. A male/female ship with good canon support is a good ship. Why are you surprised. People like shipping characters who spend lots of time together saving each other and all that. Dare I say: sometimes (sometimes) shipping "straight people" is more respectful to their canon friendship than shoehorning them as siblings. Which I believe is true in the case of L+M.

Anyways. Well that was a nice angry rant. Sorry I had to get it out of my system. I've spend too much time writing this so I won't be doing much proofreading lol. If you've reached this point, thanks for reading <3

#ask box #answered #mine #salt #so many thoughts lol #bottom line be respectful dont go into ship tags bitching abt ships #which is why i try to avoid main tags #dungeon meshi spoilers

[bullet-prooflove]

Wonderland - Mike Duarte x Reader

Tagging: @nessamc @xmoonknightlyx @jayblackpanther @crazy4chickennuggets @annetje @mysoulisasunflower @littleone65 @thesandbeneathmytoes @storiesofsvu

It was early and no one came onto the top floor of the parking garage at this hour. The radio in the car was on, music playing in a low undercurrent as you straddled Mike’s hips in the driver’s seat of his SUV. It was a tight squeeze but somehow the two of you made it work. Your hands were in his hair, chests pressed so hard together he swore he could feel the beat of your heart through your shirt. He kissed you with abandonment, passion racing through his veins like a wildfire, eating up his sanity.

“I can’t keep my hands off you.” he confessed against your lips, his fingertips ghosting underneath the crisp white fabric and blazing a trail that followed the lines of your body. “I feel like a fucking teenager.”

Your hand reached down the side of the seat, grasping the leaver so that the back of the seat sprung down. Mike yelped, a startled expression on his features as he ended up flat on his back. He looked at you, skin flushing and breathless before letting out a laugh at the exhilaration. His hands came to rest on your thighs squeezing lightly.

“You look good like this.”  You told him with sultry eyes as you rolled your hips just a little grinding down on the hard length in his jeans. “Laid out underneath me.”

“You like having me in this position?” He asked you, his tone rough, his palms grasping your hips as he thrust up against your core. “Mi vida, I would let you do anything you wanted.”

You let out a moan at the admission, leaning over him. You gripped his wrists lightly, pinning them on either side of his head, your lips brushing over his as you arched against his needly cock. He jerked underneath you at the sensation, a needy grunt tearing from his throat. You silenced him with a sinful kiss, filled with unspoken promises for the night ahead.

The familiar chime of his cell phone cut through the moment and Mike sighed as he lay underneath you, the alarm he’d set blaring. It hadn’t felt like thirty minutes but then again it never did with you. He lost entire chunks of time when he got his hands on you which is why he set the alarm in the first place.

“We need to get moving.” He grumbled, slipping his hand into the pocket of his jacket before silencing it.

“I’ll go first.” You told him, straightening your shirt. His dark eyes were on you, feverish and fierce and you could tell he was considering throwing caution to the wind.

“You have a CompStat meeting.” You reminded him, pushing open the driver’s side door and stepping out of the vehicle.

Mike rolled his eyes at your words, adjusting the seat back to its original position.

“I’m gonna need a minute anyway.” He said glancing down pointedly at the erection jutting against the seam of his jeans.  “Maybe two.”

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