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#Cat Peeing How To Stop
unsettlingcreature · 1 month
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god i love when i order something on amazon and it says it was delivered three days ago when it certainly was not
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lesbiansanemi · 2 months
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And when I thought things were finally fine and had calmed down my roommate starts sending me shelters because he wants me to get rid of my cat 🙃🙃🙃
#‘she’s peeing on my stuff 😡’#listen I get that that sucks#but also…. we had a system in place that got her stop#I get putting cat spikes on the couches was mildly annoying but guess what#she wasn’t pissing on them anymore#and tell your bf to stop leaving your bedroom door open if you don’t want her to piss on your bed#like ?????#I know he’s stopped doing these things because the bf finds them mildly inconveniencing#sorry I’m not getting rid of my cat that I’ve had for almost four years and who got rehomed TWICE before I got her#because you have to put in a tiiiiiny bit of effort#‘she pissed on my shoes 😡’#she has literally never peed on shoes before I guarantee you it’s because I left for a weekend and she’s anxious#fucking calm down#you could also just not leave your shoes by the door#he already rehomed our rats because he found them annoying which I feel bad about#I didn’t fight him much on that one because they were more his than mine so if he wanted to make that decision whatever#but hell no I’m not taking my cat to a fucking SHELTER fuck you#‘she drives me insane tho’#okay well your fucking boyfriend drives me insane and you’re not seeing me demand you take him to a fucking shelter so lol#GOD this is not what I wanna deal with when I get home#and it’s just pissing me off cuz I get it’s annoying#but we’d gotten her to stop mostly and now it’s started again because of things 🙃🙃 the fucking bf is doing 🙃🙃#so like this is your own fault and you’re expecting me to get rid of my baby because your bf can’t be assed to slightly alter#how he likes to live which is apparently being allergic to just keeping the bedroom door closed#jfc#kaz rambles
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bioswear · 11 months
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Yeah okay so maybe being forced to go into the office two days of the week is actually healthy for me
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none-asked · 1 year
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The cats are named Luna, Harry, and Roman. They are all special and stupid and I love them.
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whateveriwant · 4 months
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The 141 getting you to stay in bed
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It gets a little spicy towards the end so 18+ please
Soap
Waking up to the feeling of a numb arm is extremely unpleasant, but you suppose it comes with the territory when trying to cuddle 200+ pounds of rugged Scotsman
You manage to free your trapped limb and roll to the other side of the bed, but that space behind you remains empty for only about three seconds before Johnny's pressing himself flat to your back 
Now with his arms around your waist, he holds you tight to him, mumbling unintelligibly against the back of your head
He drifts back to sleep quickly enough, his grip on you starting to loosen, only for it to tighten again when he feels you try to wriggle out of his hold
The incoherent grumbles from his throat grow increasingly displeased the more you try to shift away from him, until finally he huffs a grumpy, “Quit it,” into your scalp, hooking his leg over yours 
If you still don't listen, he'll have no choice but to take drastic measures to keep you still. Fed up with your squirming, he simply rolls on top of you, pinning you to the mattress below him
You can try beating on his back, telling him that you can't breathe, but he just shrugs and says, “Use my breath.”
Don't even bother trying to explain how oxygen doesn't work like that, because he doesn't care. “Tough,” he mumbles into the crook of your neck. “‘Cause I'm no' movin’.” And by extension, neither are you
Gaz
Kyle is also a stage 5 clinger, but he's less boa constrictor and more baby koala
So when your alarm goes off at 8am precisely, it's no surprise that the man behind you grumbles in protest
“It's Saturday,” he bemoans. “Why you getting up so bloody early?” When you tell him you like to keep your routine even on the weekends, he just groans and mutters, “Five more minutes.”
You can try to squirm and wrestle out of his hold, but he'll just tighten his arm around your midsection, keeping his front firmly glued to your back
But you need to get up! You have to pee for goodness’ sake! 
“Use the empty bottle on your nightstand,” he mumbles into your hair, peeking an eye open as you crane to look back at him. The look you give him at such a horrid suggestion has him sighing. “Alright, fine,” he relents and releases you. “But be quick. Bed gets cold without you.”
Once you've answered the call of nature, don't be surprised to find Kyle waiting for you directly outside the bathroom. He's wrapped up in your comforter like an oversized burrito, only his face and feet visible as they peek out from under the plush cover
With a sleepy pout, he holds his hand out for you, tugging you back to bed with him. Oh, he’ll make sure you get those five more minutes alright. Even if he has to drag you kicking and screaming
Ghost
First of all, don't even kid yourself into thinking you'll stand a chance of waking up before him or sneaking out of bed without him knowing. This man is the epitome of a light sleeper, whenever he does sleep, that is
So when you do finally wake up, it comes as no surprise to see Simon already up too. But just because you're both awake now doesn't mean you have to immediately be productive; quite the opposite, in fact
With how busy and stressed he is all the time, Simon loves nothing more than to just lie in bed with you and do nothing for hours
If you try to get up, he's stopping you with a gentle hand on your wrist, his voice quiet but firm as he commands, “Stay.”
You'll lay back down for a bit to appease him, but it won't be long before you feel guilty since you have so many things you should be doing instead
But actually, no, you don't have  anything to worry about. He's already taken care of everything before you woke up, he humbly informs you
The cat's been fed, the bin’s been taken out to the curb, he's even gotten your breakfast typed up on his phone – just give him the word and he'll place the order
So now when he opens his arms for you, having you bury your face in his chest, you've got nothing to worry about except savoring this moment with him 
Price
John is also a very light sleeper, so it only takes .02 seconds of you trying to stand from the bed for his bear-like snores to cease and his eyes to flit wide open
He'll grab you by the shirt hem, mumbling, “Where’re y’ goin’?” But it doesn't really matter what your answer is because his response is always the same: “No y’r not.” And pulls you back down. “Y’r stayin’ right here.”
He'll lie on his stomach, face smushed in the pillow, a big, warm hand tucked under your shirt resting against your belly
With nothing better to do, you scroll through your phone, catching up on your socials, the news, etc., but it's not long before you hear him grumble, “Put that away, will ya? ‘S too early to be meltin’ your brain with that thing.”
Well, what does he expect you to do? Lie there and stare at the ceiling for an hour? “Expect you to be good,” he tells you. “Don't make me get the handcuffs out again.”
Now that you have to laugh at. If he thinks it's too early to be on your phone, it's definitely too early for that
He smirks, opening his eye just a sliver, and the hand on your stomach begins to rub soft circles. “Is that so?” he taunts, his touch sneakily edging downwards. And when he slips beneath the band of your shorts, well…
Let's just say you're not leaving that bed anytime soon
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ridingthatd · 3 months
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𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐘𝐎𝐔
sukuna, nanami, choso, gojo, geto, toji, higuruma, itadori, yuta, megumi...
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disgusting was always a word that was used once people find out about your loyal 10 dogs that you own. more like sex slaves? they looked more like dogs drooling at your feets, begging to have a taste of your pussy.
+18, nsfw, heavy smut, this shit is really kinky, pet play, sex slave, cumdump, a lot of begging, pussy drunk, sex drunk, sex toys (vibrators, plugs, pumpers, chasity belt is a locking item of clothing that goes around the groin region, used to prevent sex/masturbation.), simulation, squirting, rough sex, switching from sub to dom, there's a lot more so be warned.
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you never thought you would be in such a situation. you never thought ten man would be under your feets. you never thought once you joined the most exclusive BDSM club in your city, you would meet ten man who are willing to share you with each other. who are willing to go this far just to get a taste of you. ten successful dangerous man acting like a dog in heat.
their fat cock leaking. puffy, sensitive, red clit. drops of warm cum dropping down their cock, sliding down the twitching veins that surrounded their throbbing cock. eyes crossed, flushed face, jaw hanged open as spit coat their red lips. fuming at the mouth like a dog in need of a pussy to fill. a crave for their cock to be teased, touched by you.
this is the type of man they were in private. this is the type of man they were with you. they needed to please you. to make you squirt, piss, coat them with your juice. they want every inch of their body to be covered with your wetness. they would beg for you to oil them up with the wetness of your pussy.
they wanna taste it, drink it, eat it. lap on every drop. smudge their face against your pussy. purring like a cat against your wet cunt. it's like a napkin for them, an obsession that they can't even control. that their own body can't deny. stumbling on their words as they plead to sleep with their face on your bare pussy. pleading to have their cock in. pleading to have their fat cock always enveloped by your tight pussy.
stumbling on their "yes! yes!" as you squirt your warm pee while they pound their fat cock inside of you. eyes rolling back their skull, grinning from to ear as they tremble at the feeling of having your boiling squirt coating their cock. dripping down their cock into the bed sheets, into the floor.
soon after you feel their cock swollen up, twitching against your womb before hot cum starts shooting out of the tip. they wouldn't stop sliding your poor pussy against them till you milk the last drop. till their seeds start gushing out everywhere from the force.
but they won't forget about your wetness, your juice. they wouldn't let it go to waste. bending down the floor just to peak their wet tongue out. maintaining eye contact with you while they lick your squirt, your piss out of the floor. groaning and moaning at the taste of you, showing you how much they enjoy it.
not forgetting the bed sheets that was coated with your juice. they would suck on the fabric. sucking every drop of your wetness that was left, milking it dry. they would give you the same treatment, making you their own personal cumdump.
filling your tight pussy to the max. filling each hole of yours. they want their cum to leak out of your nose, they want their cum to fill your brain. their seeds would start gushing out of your pussy sloppily. dripping from your cunt till it reachs your plumpy ass that was also filled with warm cum.
they mean it when they say they want every inch of your body coated with their seeds. shooting their cum on your arms. face. stomach. thighs. turning you into a painting. your abused pussy would be barely recognized after. gapping open, clenching as it leaks out of their seeds. so swollen up that your clit would be proudly peaking out.
before going to work. always filling you up. it's like it's their own "good morning kiss" for you. you are still asleep but that doesn't stop them from having two cocks inside your pussy. two cocks inside your ass. two cocks inside your mouth. two cocks in one hand. two cocks in the other hand. and two cocks fucking your tits. when they are done they won't forget to put in a little pink plug so you will not feel empty without their seed.
not wearing any panties in the house was a strict rule. when they come back and sees you cooking they wouldn't think twice before quickly taking out the plug and replaces it with their cock to fill you up again. greating them in the entrance on knees. ass up. pussy spread like a good little cumdump you are.
each of them enjoyed different kinks. each of them had their own favourite filthiness.
𝐂𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐎, 𝐈𝐓𝐀𝐃𝐎𝐑𝐈, 𝐘𝐔𝐓𝐀
being tied up with a red silk rope. from their suckable huge tits to their huge fat cock that was twitching against their abdomen. the rope was squeezing their cocks tight. preventing their sensitive cocks from spilling their seeds.
but choso didn't seem to have a problem with that. being the horny dog he is- the robben didn't stop his cock from leaking drops of cum, from shooting them each time you squeezed the robben around his cock harder, tighter.
because he enjoyed it. you knew it from the way his eyes cross even more every time you squeeze the red rope harder, enveloping his cock till it's flushed red. all it takes just a touch from your nail on his red clit for warm liquid to explode.
while the two brothers were quite the opposite. their huge nipples being simulated by the pumpers you placed. suckling hard on their sensitive nipples. but they couldn't cum- the robben stopping them from cumming just from having their tits simulated.
while yuta begs you to stop squeezing the robben tighter on his cock. beg you to stop forcing every last drop of his seeds out of him. the twins, itadori and choso beg you to let them cock. beg you to let them free their seeds out.
but you wouldn't. you would go as far as place a mini string inside their clit. yuta would lose it as he spills his cum even with it on, his seeds pushing against the string and gushing out hard, shooting in the air causing the string to fly out from the force.
while the twins don't spill from their cock- instead milk start gushing out their nipples...
𝐓𝐎𝐉𝐈, 𝐌𝐄𝐆𝐔𝐌𝐈
at first it was only toji. you were only fucking with toji. he was one the man you met at the bdsm club. but his son had to have his taste once he got a glimpse of you. and of course toji had to teach his son how to please a woman.
but once megumi got a taste he never was able to stop. he as drunk of it. it was his new addiction. something that he couldn't get enough of, something that he needed all the time.
here he was between your legs, slurping and lapping your clit. eyes closed as he whine and groan savoring the taste. but it wouldn't be enough. it was never enough for him. and toji of course knew that about his son- he knew that his son craved what he craved and more.
shoving a tube up your pussy was the solution, megumi eyes widen as he can see the inside of your pussy clearly now. he immediately warp his lips around the tube and suck on it like a straw, he whimper once he feels your liquid gushing out and hitting his tongue. more and more starts coming out.
he couldn't help the way he started humping his hips against the sheets of the bed. all while toji shoves his cock deep inside your throat. the tip of his fat cock hitting the back of your throat not giving you any time to breath as he sloppily keeps sliding in.
toji would spit inside your mouth, he would do it every second just to mix it with your spit that coated his cock...
𝐍𝐀𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐈, 𝐇𝐈𝐆𝐔𝐑𝐔𝐌𝐀
they loved to your their huge hands on your pussy. they loved to feel every inch of you with their hands. they loved to shove it up your ass, up your throat up your wet cunt.
using everything on your poor body, stuffing everyhole you have with their tongue and fat cocks. they would make sure to tear through your pussy with not one but both of their fat cocks, squeezing them together and shoving them into your tight pussy.
while one of the four hands, you can't tell whos hand is who. tied up and spread wide open with a blindfold on as one their hands make its way toward your ass. they would at first add two fingers, then four and four would turn into his whole fist going in and out your little ass. the wetness that your pussy is gushing would coat your ass, causing sloppy wet noises to fill the air...
𝐒𝐔𝐊𝐔𝐍𝐀, 𝐆𝐄𝐓𝐎, 𝐆𝐎𝐉𝐎
dog collars on. on their hands and knees. rubbing their faces against your legs. purring as your run your hands against their hair. who knew a huge man like them would be so pathetic, so desperate acting like little puppies.
giving your attention to sukuna who was whining as he humps your leg more aggressively than gojo and geto. giving you a sign that he needs more. that he was a greedy little slut.
you harshly use the tip of your heels to poke the tip of his cock. causing sukuna to growl, pushing against you harder. needing more, and you do exactly what he wanted. you put your full body weight on his fat cock as tears start slipping past his eyes from the feeling.
crying ashamed as he feels the warmess of his cock leaking through his boxers into your heels. you force them to cum in their boxers, purposely grinding your heels against their hard on as they beg you to slip your hand inside- they want to feel your warm hands on their leaking fat cock, sloppily stroking it but instead you tell them you won't touch their cock unless they squirt their warm seeds, filling their underwear with hot cum.
and that's exactly what they do, it only took you a couple of strokes through the fabric while you suck on their tongue to get them cumming hard in their boxer. the lay down trembling, while they watch you stripping their underwear away. taking it in your hand just for your tongue to peak out and nastly lick the cum that's on the boxer. they groan watching you.
but you don't stop there, you take the boxer and place it on your dripping pussy. grinding the cum filled fabric against your pussy, coating it with their seeds. you start humping their underwear, eyes rolling behind your skull at the feeling of the rough fabric against your clit and the warmess of their cum grinding against your pussy...
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colonelarr0w · 1 month
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Hey 💕 Can I request story about Sukuna being all soft and gentle with reader? 😩 Like soft morning with him, waking up together, and make out session or some gentle sex with a lot of praise. I love domestic Sukuna I’m sorry 😔
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Sypnosis - Read above request.
Warning(s) - None!
A/N - Damn maybe I do like writing for Sukuna (I've been his #1 hater since season 1 of JJK dropped).
! PIECE BEGINS UNDERNEATH THE CUT !
Biting back the sleepy groan that climbs up your throat, you open your bleary eyes to peek at the sunlight that filters in through your bedroom's thin curtains. You shift lightly only to be stopped by someone's arms tightening around your waist, further rooting you to your place in bed – Sukuna. 
How ironic that the King of Curses would be a stage-five clinger come the morning sun. But of course, nobody would ever believe you if that admittance fell from your lips. And it wasn’t like he would admit it either. 
You yawn, lifting your fingers to swipe at the crust that clings to the corners of your eyes. As much as you wanted to relish in Sukuna’s hold, the urge to go to the bathroom and relieve yourself was becoming painfully apparent — though you knew that any attempt to leave bed would be completely futile.  
Even with that knowledge, you attempt to sit upward, only to be met with a sharp groan from Sukuna followed by the tightening of his arm over your waist. His nails dig into the exposed skin of your hips, effectively rooting you to your place in bed.  
“Quit movin’ around you brat,” Sukuna murmurs, shifting closer to you and burying his face into the waistband of your pajama pants, exhaling deeply and adjusting himself to be more comfortable. You chuckle to yourself, turning your head to stare down at the sleepy King of Curses — it would be funny if you were to “accidentally” take a photo of him.  
“I have to pee Ryo,” you reply, reaching a hand out and threading your fingers through his hair, nails raking gently over his scalp. Against his better judgement, Sukuna leans into the warmth that your touch radiates, eyes still closed like a content cat. It was humorous, this was the same man who could destroy entire cities with so much as a snap of his fingers.  
“Mmph.” His arms tighten impossibly further around you, his actions earning a breathy giggle from you. You can feel his lips quirk upward against the skin of your hip, but you don’t say anything, not wanting to ruin this incredibly rare moment.   
You decide to humor him, lowering yourself into his arms and tucking your head underneath his chin. Your arms circle his neck, nails scraping over his nape and toying with the hairs that reside there. Sukuna, shockingly, presses himself further into your touch, seeking more of it like a cat starved of affection.  
His forehead ghosts over your own, eyes closed in content the moment that your skin meets his own. He would never admit it to you, but the safety that stood in tandem with your presence was reassuring in a way that not even he could describe.  
"Five more minutes woman," Sukuna murmurs, tightening his grip on you and going so far as to tangle his legs with your own, only further trapping you to the sheets of your bed.  
You giggle, laying a kiss against his lips, not failing to notice the way that his quirk up against your own.  
"Five more minutes." 
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seancekitsch · 1 month
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Hazbin Hotel—Lucifer x Reader where he’s a love struck fool for reader? May or may not be inspired by that little imagine you posted not too long ago \(//∇//)\
uhhh this kinda got away from me. enjoy!!
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You’d have to be a fool not to notice how the King of Hell acts around you, even Angel and Husk told you that. But you’re not blinded to situation, you know exactly what’s going on. You rest your elbow on the bar next to Angel as Charlie gathers the hotel residents and staff, a job not unlike herding cats. Everyone trickles in slowly, waiting for the next odd trust bond activity Charlie has come up with now. Last week was heartfelt letter writing, and the three of you at the bar had not taken it seriously. You handed Husk a comedic inner monologue about how much you needed to pee, Husk handed Angel a surprisingly detailed made up story about a talking whisky bottle, and Angel handed you a list of what roles he’d cast the entire hotel in a porno.
“What do you think they’ll have us do this time?” Husk mumbles to you, topping off your drink.
“Honestly, not a fan of the way Princess is smiling right now,” you answer.
Charlie waves everyone over, and Vaggie smiles uncomfortably, ready for everyone to start.
“Okay Good Afternoon,” Charlie starts, practically bouncing, “Today we’re going to try to form new bonds!”
Immediately, she’s met with groaning and mumbling, but thats never stopped her and it won’t today either.
“So what better way to do that then having a buddy for the next twenty four hours!” She shouts, and Vaggie’s face immediately makes sense.
“I’ve separated everyone from their regular group so they can build these bonds and be open!”
“…got something you could open…” you hear Angel mumble under his breath.
Charlie gives her dad a thumbs up.
“The first pairing is… my dad and Y/n!”
The Morningstar family sucks at being subtle or lying.
“So what did you have planned for the day?” Lucifer asks while sitting beside you, his voice short and clipped, his entire demeanor like he’s on high alert. It’s cute, really.
“Ah don’t worry about it,” you shrug, “What does the areat King of Hell do with his day?”
Lucifer rubs his neck, fidgeting under your question.
“It’s not… Its not actually all that interesting,” he admits, “You’ve probably got something cooler going on.”
There’s something he’s avoiding besides your gaze, but you don’t press the issue.
You look across the lobby to Angel, who pauses his conversation with Vaggie to mouth something that looked like the word “fart” to you, and then wink.
Your art gallery. Right.
“Have you ever been to Pentagram City’s biggest art gallery?” you ask him.
Lucifer is a gentleman. You understand how he stole the first man’s first two wives from him. Sure, he’s stumbling and stuttering and a nervous wreck, but he’s holding doors open for you and asking about your thoughts and feelings about the pieces on display, he’s accidentally on purpose almost held your hand three times now. Next time he does it, you’re just going to grab his damn hand.
You stare at the sculpture in front of you, noting that you should have someone move this to a different room. In fact, there’s a few things you’ve noticed while showing Lucifer the art that you should have moved around. Maybe you’ve been neglecting the gallery a bit more than you thought now that you live at the hotel.
“Hey, Can I ask you about these?” Lucifer’s voice booms from the next room over. Sighing, you type a quick note into your V-Phone and turn.
Oh shit.
Lucifer found THAT room.
You cross the threshold into the room you never go into, the room with your own work. Honestly, it’s not even curated the way the other rooms and floors are. This is where you put anything that you think can leave your studio. He’s in front of one of your biggest paintings, and one of your newest. It’s an abstract piece about your feelings about redemption, about your past sins, about adjusting to the hotel. Which it sounds stupid when you put it like that, but it made sense in the moment and you’re proud of it.
He turns and smiles before looking back at the painting.
“Is the uh, is the artist willing to sell this piece?” he asks, his cheeks and the tips of his ears turning red.
Now it’s your turn to get nervous. You’ve never actually sold any of your own pieces before.
“I uh- I’m not gonna sell it to you,” you tell him, “You can have it.”
It would be weird to take money from Lucifer, even if he is offering. You like him a decent amount and a transaction between the two of you would make it weird. It would feel like you owe him, even though your art would technically satisfy that. If he was one of the Vees or someone you dislike, you would have immediately taken money.
“But the artist-“
“Me,” you clarify, and you finally remember you don’t tag your own art. Lucifer’s jaw drops at your admission.
“I’d really like to support your work, it’s magnificent,” Lucifer insists, and you feel your cheeks burning. He turns to gesture to another piece, and his knuckles brush your own.
Fuck it. You told yourself you’d do it. You grab Lucifer’s hand in your own, a bold move.
“Just think about it as a gift,” you tell him, “A thank you for the lovely day we’ve had.”
You inwardly cringe, knowing that when you recount today at the lobby bar your drinking buddies are going to tear you a new one for that corny line. But it fits for Lucifer; he’s bringing out a side of you that you really haven’t seen in a while.
“Thank you uh, gorgeous,” he tacks on the pet name like even he isn’t sure about it, and with his hand still in yours, attempts to lean against a sculpture, stumbling as he misses it and bringing you along with him. He tugs you by the arm, jerking you closer to him. He’s majorly out of practice.
“I have a studio upstairs if you want to see more?” you offer, not really sure if you thought that through.
“More art? Absolutely!” He recovers quickly, enthusiasm dripping from his voice.
You smile as you pull him towards the hallway, butterflies in your stomach as it dawns on you that he’s going to be the only person besides you to see the studio.
You and Lucifer end up staying there until Charlie calls him the next morning.
You notice paint on his chin after you get back to the hotel.
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spencereidluver · 6 months
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F is for First Date
summary: You and Spencer go on your first date to a little coffee shop before work. You convince him to try your coffee, and he finds he enjoys it.
word count: 2.8k
warnings: none. just fluff and spencer being a gentleman
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You roll over in your bed, throwing the covers off of your body. It was hot. Why was it so hot? You look over to your alarm cock: 8:03 a.m. You were running late. 45 minutes late, actually. Luckily, your apartment is only a few blocks away from the office, however, you typically left at 8:10. That left you 7 minutes to do your normal hour long routine.
You quickly jump up from your bed, letting the blankets fall wherever they pleased. Honestly, what’s the point in making the bed? You’re just going to tear it apart in your sleep tonight, anyways. You jog slightly to your bathroom, grabbing your hairbrush and multitasking as you did your morning pee. You brushed your teeth in record time, definitely not two minutes, but at least the morning breath was gone.
You went back to your room, slipping off your flannel pajama pants and gray “Harvard” shirt. You didn’t go to Harvard. You just liked the oversized shirt. 
You grabbed a nude-toned bra out of your dresser and clasped it behind your back. You slid a white lace top over your head and threw a tan fuzzy cardigan on. You put a pair of dark tights on and pulled a dark brown leather miniskirt over them, tucking the white top in. You slid on thick white socks on, ones that ended at your mid-shin, and put on a pair of black converse. 
Good enough, you thought to yourself, not bothering to put on makeup. You planned to stay in the office today. No meetings, and pray to god no cases. You just wanted a chill day.
You left your apartment at 8:15, not much later than you normally did, you’d just have to take out the coffee stop this morning. 
______
You nearly drop your bag as you’re rushing through the parking lot, trying desperately to enter the building before 8:30. Not only were you up late this morning, but traffic was a bitch. It wouldn’t be a big deal if you were a few minutes late, however you’ve been petulant in your 9 months and don’t plan to start truancy now. 
Of course, Derek, who 9 times out of 10 is fashionablly late, sees you speed walking through the parking lot.
“Hey Sweetheart, what are you doing in so late?” He jokingly cat-calls you through the lot.
“Slept late,” You respond in a yell, not slowing your step at all.
“Aw, baby needs her beauty sleep?” “Something like that.”
You rush into the building, crossing through the glass doors of the BAU office right as the clock struck 8:30, Derek somehow a full two minutes behind you. You walk over to your desk and place your knitted tote bag filled with personal items on the ground beneath you. Sitting in your chair, you plop the stack of paperwork in front of you, and look at the man across from you.
“Morning, Spence,” You say as you open the file.
“Goodmorning, y/n. How was your morning?” He asks curiously. 
“Well, I overslept and didn’t have time for a coffee stop, but luckily I was having a good hair day so it doesn’t matter. How about you?”
“Well I couldn’t even tell. You look great. My morning was alright. I got my coffee.” He mockingly takes a big sip before standing up and excusing himself. 
You didn’t know where he was going, though you had enough paperwork to let it pass through your mind. You quickly began scribbling through the papers and placing files where they needed to go. You forgot how messy you’d left your desk Friday when you returned from a case. You were in a big hurry to leave and go to dinner with the team, you just threw everything from the case on your desk and scrammed. It wasn’t a big deal though, it was just easy, boring paperwork. 
Spencer returned a few minutes later with a coffee cup in hand. He approached your desk. “Hey, y/n,” he says, you move your attention from the paperwork to him towering over you. “I made you a coffee. I um, I put two sugars in it, I hope that’s alright, I’ve seen you drink it like that before and-”
“It’s perfect, Spence, thank you.” You say, taking the cup as he hands it down to you.
He hurries to his chair and hides his face. You curiously turned the cup around. There, you saw the inscription of his homely handwriting. “y/n: do you want to go out for coffee tomorrow morning before work? -Spence.” 
You smiled, and went to look up at him, but he instinctively scurried away. Though, he’d left his half drank cup of coffee on his desk. You walk over to his, and flop down in his chair, it almost swallowing you whole as the leather back had fitted to his broader shoulders. You grab the coffee and a Sharpie marker from his pencil cup. “Spence: of course I do… 7:30? <3”
You get up and return to your  desk, almost on cue, Spencer returns. You were unsure of where he came from, though it didn’t matter. He sat at his desk, and you nodded your head to the cup. He looked confused for a brief second, before bringing it to his eyes to read it. 
He looked up and smiled at you. “ 7:30 sounds great, I’ll meet you there,” he says.
“Okay! I’m parking here and walking, if you wish to join,” you say, taking a sip of the special made coffee. It was no different than how you normally made it, but it tasted special because of who made it.
“I’ll meet you in the parking lot here, then. How’s that?” “That’s perfect, Spence.”
You return to your paperwork, unable to hide the smile on your face. You’d waited so long for this moment, you couldn’t believe it was finally happening. You caught Spencer smiling a few times as well. You wondered how long he’d wanted to ask you out. You’ve found Spencer attractive since the day you started working here. You were so beyond ecstatic something was finally happening between the two of you. 
You finished your coffee quickly. It was the best coffee you have ever tasted. You thought briefly for a second, before going to the kitchen to clean the styrofoam cup out. You made sure it was no longer sticky or had any coffee residue before drying it completely and taking it back to your desk. You open the small pencil drawer of your desk and pull out four sticky notes. Notes Spencer had left you in the past few weeks. You placed the four notes in the cup and placed a new lid on it. Putting the cup in the side drawer, you smiled to yourself. You’ve kept every note Spencer has ever given you. And you don’t plan on stopping any time soon.
_____
‘7:28,’ the clock on the dash of your car read. You looked in your rearview mirror at the road behind you. There was Spencer in his old man car. You’d been early, nervous about your date, though you knew it would go good. You wore a fitted white turtleneck with a knitted tank top sweater vest of different shades of brown on top. You paired this with a khaki skirt and the same pair of black converse. You realized this was a very Spencer-esque outfit, and it was quite possible you and him could have nearly the exact same outfit on today.
Luckily, Spencer picked from the other side of his closet this morning. He approached you wearing dark brown slacks and black converse as well. He had his satchel pulled over his waist, drawing attention to the way he swayed as he walked. He had a dark, though not as dark as his pants, sweater that was open, and underneath was a collared off-white shirt and a diagonally striped tie. His left hand rested on his satchel, and his right was hidden behind his back. He did his little hoppy jog to your car, you having opened the door, grabbing your knitted tote bag, and beginning to make your way around to him.
“Good morning, y/n,” he says as he reaches you. 
“Hi, Spence,” You didn’t know why, but you were suddenly very shy. Maybe because this was a “formal date,” but you’d been on friend dates with Spencer so many times before. 
Spencer was clearly nervous too, though less than you. His hand from behind his back made itself known, in his fist was a single red rose. “I um, I got this for you. I know it’s only one, but I actually saw a flower patch on my way here and I didn’t want to take them all.” He was rambling.
“I love it, it’s perfect.” You grab the rose from his hand, letting your fingers run over the petals. They were smooth. He could see you were trying not to touch the stem too much, as you were trying not to touch the thorns. 
“I picked all the thorns off so you didn’t hurt yourself. I don’t have any water for it or anything…”
You examined the stem. You saw all the spots where thorns once laid. He was so sweet. Not only did he make a stop to pick you a rose, but he also safety coded it. You were going to keep this rose forever. You knew it. You planned on pressing the flowers once you got home from work that night. Maybe you could keep the petals in the “note drawer,” or maybe you could start a new drawer..
“Spencer, hey, I love it okay. Thank you.” You slid the stem of the rose between two knits of your bag, it poking inside and the flower on the outside like a pin. You saw Spencer smile. He was proud of himself. 
The two of you began to walk through the parking lot. Spencer paid careful attention to your feet, matching his gate exactly with yours. As you neared the end of the parking lot, reaching the sidewalk next to a fairly busy street, you felt a hand gently brush your waist. Spencer switched sides, him now being on the side adjacent to the road. First flowers, and now this? This boy was a true gentleman.
You smiled to yourself. Technically, the date hadn’t even begun yet, but you were already certain you wanted a relationship to blossom from this. You looked to the man to your left, the sun in a position to hit against his face in a way that made him look like an angel. You couldn’t help yourself. You reached over and took hold of his hand. He jumped slightly, before gripping a little too tight. He looked down at you and smiled. 
“You’re so pretty, y/n,” Spencer said. He’d been waiting what seemed like years- though only 9 months- to tell you that. You didn’t know where Spencer learned how to flirt, but frankly you didn’t care. You really liked this side of him.
“I think you’re pretty too, Spence.” You said. He smiled and ran his fingers through his hair, pushing it back from his forehead. Wow.
______
The coffee shop made itself known once you reached the top of a hill. The natural brick on the outside makes it look homey. It was about a 10 minute walk from the parking lot of the BAU, but Spencer and you were agents. You made the walk take a total of eight minutes. Speed walking isn’t a training module for the FBI, though it is definitely learned, and quickly. 
Spencer opened the door and allowed for you to enter first. Yet another gentlemanly move today. The smell of coffee filled your noses. It reminded you of Spencer. He always had coffee breath, yet not the nasty kind. He always seemed to smell so wonderful.
“Hello,” the barista at the counter cheerfully said as you and Spencer entered the small building. The two of you approached her. “What can I get for you guys today?”
You order your regular and Spencer orders a black coffee with a LOT of sugar. You retrieve the coffees from the pick up area and sit at a raised table in the corner next to a window.
“Why do you like black coffee?” you ask him. 
“I’m not sure. I always drank it when I was growing up and throughout college… and honestly, I’ve never tried it any other way.” He responded, taking a sip of his coffee.
“Really?” you said surprised. “With how much coffee you drink, I’m surprised you haven’t ventured into new territory even once.”
“Not once.” He took another sip. You noticed him kicking his feet beneath the table.
“Do you want to try a sip of mine?”
He smiled, crinkling his nose up. “Sure, do you want to try mine?”
“I guess I’ll give it a shot, though I will say I’m not the biggest fan of black coffee, so don’t be mad if I don’t like it.”
“I can’t promise anything, I can’t even say I’m going to like your girly drink.” He was teasing.
“I’ll tell you what Spence. You like my coffee and I’ll buy you a croissant. I like your coffee, you buy me a croissant. Deal?”
“It’s a deal, y/l/n.”
You switched cups. He gave it a sniff before popping open the lid to see inside. Tensley, he took a sip. You saw his eyes bulge. Licking his lips as he brought the cup down, he wrinkled his nose once again. He brought the cup back up, taking another sip. 
“You know what, I think you owe me a croissant.”
You smiled at  him, before taking a sip of his old man coffee, you cocked your head to the side. 
“You don’t like it, do you?” He laughed. 
You quickly sat the cup down and jumped up from your seat. You walked up to the counter, and ordered one regular croissant. Returning to the table with the plastic container in hand, you tossed in down in front of him. 
He opened the container, and tore a piece of the pastry off. He took a bite, and attempted to slide the container to you. In the process, it collided with his cup of coffee which was still situated on your side, causing it to spill all over your blouse. 
“Oh my god, y/n, I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay, at least it wasn’t hot anymore.” You reach for the few napkins on the table, trying to dry yourself off despite knowing it wouldn’t do anything.
You were giggling, but Spencer didn’t find this one bit funny. He felt awful. You began to attempt wiping the table with the napkins, but were stopped by Spencer’s hand grabbing your damp-sleeved arm. 
“Hey, don’t worry about the table. I got it.” He gets up to go get napkins from the counter, before stopping in his tracks. He turns around and comes back to you, sitting in the chair using the sleeve of your sweater to stop the liquid from pouring onto your skirt and the ground. “Y/n, do you want to wear my sweater?”
This takes you a bit off guard. For a second, you forget your soaking wet with warm coffee. Your voice catches in your throat as you try to speak, but Spencer is already unbuttoning the two fastened buttons and sliding the sweater off his shoulders.
“You can go to the bathroom and change. I’ve got the mess, okay?” He hands you the sweater and makes room for you to move around him. You rush to the bathroom, trying not to leave a trail of coffee droplets through the lobby.
Turning into a stall, you immediately begin taking your sweater and white shirt off, tossing white one in the small garbage can. There was no way you’d be able to get the coffee stains out, and plus, the shirt was only $4 on sale at WalMart. Only left in your wire bra, you slip the brown sweater on. You button it all the way up, but as it’s a men’s sweater, it’s a little more of a V-neck than you’d like, especially since you were going to work soon. You tucked one side of the sweater into your skirt, letting the other side hang over to create dimension in your outfit and make it less simple. You toss your damp sweater vest over your shoulder and exit the bathroom.
Spencer was waiting for you when you came out. He’d gotten the mess cleaned up and was ready to leave. He grabs your hand, leading you outside the doors to begin your walk back to work. 
next chapter: G is for Girlfriend
a/n: Sorry it took so long on this chapter, I've been pretty busy. Hopefully I can get the next few out quickly as I hope to release part M (the christmas themed) on Christmas day.
taglist: @universallyblizzardlove @ms-ks-world @justlivinginadaydream @dij-ology @lotus-ignis @sammy-4103 @ktssstuff @ada--44 @moongirl27 @monfleurr @shycreationdreamland @cultish-corner @ariianelle @iiheartbowie @spencerreidismybitch @traderjoesmints @ivyflowers13 @hades-disappointment-child @aceofspades190 @taygrls @hookergutss @random-3455 @nmw-am @bookworm124 @hizzielover @jem08 @cherrybowbabby @theofficialfunk
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br4tphobia · 9 months
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ellie was embarrassed, her legs spread wide open infront if her ex-girlfriend, cat. with a pretty pink wand vibrator sitting on her over-stimulated clit, her head throwing back into your shoulder as you coo sweet praises in her ear. twitching and whimpering as she tries to close her legs, only to have your warning tone and your free hand stop her. “aht. keep em open, el. let her know who owns this pussy.” with your hand moving futher to play between her silk folds, inserting 2 fingers before giving her no time to adjust, flicking your wrist. “oh my— fuck waitwaitwaittt” ellie took in her bottom lip which made you turn up the setting on the vibrating. “let her hear you..looks like shes enjoying it, yea? y’so pretty like this..” your paise made ellie do as you told, letting out all her sweetened sounds infront of cat. looking up to her, just to see her pressing her thighs together. meanwhile, the urge to pee took over el’s senses, “y/n..im g’na..shitt wait i—“ cut off by her exotic moan, twitching and bucking into the palm of your hand working your magic. dragging the vibrator up and down on her clit slowly, “there you go..this my pussy ain’ it, el?” — “yes.. shit..” looking up once again only to see that cat left, a smiling creeping up on your face. ellie tried to move, stopping her once again. “that doesn’t mean were done..relax.” pecking her cheek before turning the vibrator back on, immediately having her twitching again, gripping on your thigh right next to hers. having your session interrupted by a few knocks.. how rude. turning the vibrator on max, still fingering her pussy sloppily. “ohh shit—! turn it ahh down..” she’d beg, only to not be heard though. “whats my name, baby?” pressing the toy harder against her clit, having her yelp out. “fuck! y/n …ohmyfuckingodddd” — “again.” your voice is sterner, seeing the shadow still at the door. it was obvious on who it was..guess cat could never get the hint. “y/n..!” seeing the shadow slowly walk away, turning down the level, giving ellie some time to calm down from how stimulated she was :(
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mushroomates · 10 months
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legolas headcanons:
is, by all accounts, the worlds most awkward elf
most of the fellowship doesn’t even realize how weird he is
thranduil did not socialize his boy well. legolas is not aloof he just has no idea what he’s supposed to be doing.
will walk very slowly with exaggerated movements around hobbits because he thinks they won’t see him otherwise.
the hobbits thinks this is elf custom. frodo theorizes this is because elves want to rest their eyes and ears when they’re at home, so other elves like to announce themselves so no one gets spooked.
this is aided by the fact that legolas loudly announces his presence whenever he enters the room, just incase you missed it.
this conclusion is false. legolas will approach other elves by charging at them, full speed. alternatively, shooting an arrow in their vicinity for a vibe check.
he also likes shooting at people to wake them up and/or scare them
legolas likes that it’s a gentle reminder to his companions that he could kill them at any time and they should be honored that he doesn’t.
aragorn has options about this. legolas tells him that he should be grateful that such a skilled elf is on his side and cares for him. aragorn maintains that if legolas really cared, the elf would stop waking him up with ‘good morning’ shots. he also would like to note that legolas’s loud singing is only slightly better than an arrow flying at you first thing in the morning:
legolas tries to make friends by staring at them from afar and when they look at him he looks away. like a cat. he will also blink at u as if to say “look! i like you! i’m closing my eyes!!!” again, like a cat.
will bring you small gifts to curry favor, also like a cat. interesting rocks and pretty feathers, samples of dirt, fallen leaves in different shapes and colors, and whatever flowers are near by and catch his eye. gets very upset if you don’t marvel at them for the appropriate amount of time.
will eat bites off of your plate. this is a form of endearment. he’s showing he trusts you and likes you. he’s also showing his inability to cook and hopes you’ll take pity on him by sharing your food.
sometimes will intentionally walk loudly around the camp if he’s bored, angry, or lonely so he can wake aragorn up and they can be awake together :)
likes to sing, loudly, at inappropriate times
no one in the fellowship has seen him piss. some of the hobbits are under the impression that elves don’t pee. aragorn and gandalf do not correct them.
up at the asscrack of dawn. this is annoying, because he’s chipper, looks amazing, and is a tad judgements that you aren’t as well.
captain obvious as well as worlds most unhelpful elf ever. will point out your mistake, claim to know how to fix it and half the time not offer the solution or his assistance.
cannot do laundry. he doesn’t even get dirty enough to consider it, and with how little people in middle earth wash their clothes anyway, none of his clothes have been cleaned for easily centuries.
is very confused by dogs. doesn’t understand what he’s supposed to do with them. they’re always so happy and want (physical???) attention and,, it’s not a one and done thing either. you’re supposed to keep petting them? after you already pet them.
they’re like wolves, but smaller and maybe stupider. they also stink. boromir has explained to him many times that dogs are man’s best friend and are beautiful creatures. this worries legolas, because that means either dogs are more evolved than they let on,, or men are significantly further behind than elves than he first thought..
can not play the harp. is upset by this fact.
never really bothered to learn how to harp, either.
he believes he should be able to play the harp regardless because the harp is just a big bow with many strings. this is, in fact, false.
will eat anything. mushrooms and questionable berries mean nothing to him.
this upsets aragorn as he believes legolas is setting a bad example for the hobbits, dispite hobbits having the most durable digestive systems. (note: elves can eat almost anything, but hobbits have the stomach of a labrador retriever. they are always hungry, can can eat anything, even what they’re not supposed to)
DID set a bad example for boromir, who mistakingly ate some of the berries legolas offered him and had the shits for weeks.
is like 90% sure who frodo is. it’s definitely one of the hobbits. it’s probably not the one with the pony.
is faceblind. he can’t recognize other people’s faces for the life of him. if you asked him to pick out aragorn in a sea of humans, he’d panic dispite knowing the man for 50+ years.
this also goes for all races, including dwarves. gimli thought he might just be racist and covering his ass, but then watched him stall for like 30 minutes making small talk with some lorien elves and try (and fail) to pick celeborn out of the crowd.
does know what galadriel and thranduil look like. has a hard time pointing out elrond.
will forget your name almost immediately after you tell him. guys like 3k old and has met a lot of people give him a break
to be fair he does know who you are and what you sound/look like. defining features like voice and hair help a lot. it’s just if you were to give him a book of cropped faces and ask him to name, just one,,, he’d panic and throw it at you.
feels robbed of the golden ages,, resents the fact that the world he knows is drastically different that the world he could have been. wishes there were more elves his age and just more elves in general.
that being said he wouldn’t change this for anything as the world he’s in gave him the friends he’s made and the adventure of a life time :)
he doesn’t wash his hands. like ever or at all.
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hecateslore · 3 months
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💌
supervisor!simon stop trying to be a douche challenge IMPOSSIBLE‼️‼️‼️‼️
Monday you walk into the office, headphones blasting your music. Simon’s door wide open, he was sitting in his chair doing god knows what. Probably reading the employee handbook front to back. Unfortunately your desk was right across from his office, so if he had the door open, you were in his sight. 
You were the first one in the office, you dropped your stuff on your desk, almost half an hour till you have to clock. You wander into the break room, it’s empty and you almost do a backflip; grateful you don’t have to socialize this early in the morning (don’t talk to me until i’ve had my coffee 😏😏 ew lmao.). You warm up your muffin from home and refill your water cup. 
you wander back to your desk, the office still empty. You noticed Simon's office was empty, that thought immediately shot as he walked back into his office, “Good morning.” he said, holding a cup in one hand, his notepad in the other. “Morning.” you said quietly, he motioned towards his ears, “headphones.” you point to the clock above his door, “ahh.” he hummed, 15 more minutes until you have to clock in. “I’ll leave you to it then.” but before he shut his door, “we have a meeting at nine, I’m sending out an email later.” he tapped the door frame before he shut the door completely. 
People slowly started coming in, Linda had bought a giant pack of sticky notes, going around asking if people needed some, it made you crack a smile. Everyone politely declined, “Linda I need some!” you say as you wave her over, “thank god, I was going crazy.” she says her chubby cheeks round, her soft smile makes you giddy. She was like everyone's Grandma, so sweet and so kind. “I’ve been running out.” you grin at her as she shows you the pack she bought with different designs, some having cute dogs, little cats, frogs, hearts.  “These ones are my favorites.” she points to the pink sticky notes with the dogs at the bottom. “I’ll take one of each.” you both went back and forth discussing what kind of pens you love, sticky notes, and how much both of you hate when highlighters chew up the paper.  
Simon heard your voice and Linda's from behind his door, getting up from his chair, he saw you and Linda, chatting and giggling like school girls. This was the first time he’s ever heard you so clear; so expressive. Simon Walked towards you two, not noticing him behind Linda. You let out a loud laugh, from some corny joke she made. Simon clears his throat causing you both to scurry back into whatever it was you were doing. He walked back into his office calling on your other coworker, not even 20 minutes later, said coworker is heading towards the front door. 
Your eyes follow them as they hurry to the front door. Simon's door is still open, you look at him and see he’s already looking directly at you. Your heart thumps in your chest, a weird sensation builds in your stomach, you try your hardest to ignore it and carry on with your work. 
-
The meeting passed and it was already after lunchtime, Simon was really pissed off, and he was being very snappy. Apparently someone had been making fake insurance claims under the business name (it’s all fake, everyone chill before the insurance police come!) , so now there’s an investigation happening. You thought back to your coworker earlier, but quickly brushed the thought off.
 You could understand Simon’s annoyance and frustration, he was really mad during the meeting, his accent was getting thicker and it made you smile a bit. His voice was loud and booming, you had to excuse yourself to the bathroom to have a giggle fit, that was quickly interrupted by some lady who went to pee. Your thoughts immediately voided after you remember he threatened to fire you over headphones. I mean sure Simon’s handsome, he’s tall, he smells good all the time. He wears well fitted clothes that show off his muscles. A beautiful side profile, pretty lashes and he has an accent! AND, his voice is deep and smooth. But he’s childish and petty, always has to get the last word, won’t take no for an answer, if you annoy him he’ll flood you with work, sometimes he’s snappy other times he’s super sweet. He doesn’t know when to back off, terrible staring problem, is kind of a neat freak, types way too loud and aggressively. Oh and let’s not forget he definitely has something against you and your headphones. 
-
You were dealing with an annoying customer, who didn’t have a paper that absolutely needed to be notarized, so they just signed it and thought they could bring it back to you. 
Not taking you seriously, you suggested taking it up with your supervisor. You walked to the back of the building, knocking on Simon's office door, your heart raced a little bit. 
You could hear his deep voice, a very stern “Come in.” he looked up from his screen with a heavy sigh, “Quitting?”  the corner of his mouth quirked up, you snorted at his wit. “Not until I get my first write up.” you answer, earning a chuckle from him. “What can I do for you, Miss?” he motioned to the paperwork in your hand, you feel hot from the brief interaction. It seemed as if all tension from earlier shed the minute you stepped into his office. 
“Uh, this guy brought an un-notarized document, and won’t take no for an answer.” he nods. “So you're here?” he chews on the side of his cheek. “Looks like it.” you shrug.  “I guess I could figure something out.” Simon says mid stretch, his button up shirt clad against his biceps as he raised his arms. “Wait right here, I’ll be back.” Simon stood up and took the sheet of paper and walked to the front. He came back 15 minutes later to grab the same blank document, walked back out and came back in. 
“Alright missy, you're set.” he says as he takes his seat across the chair you were sitting in. “you’re being nice these days.” you joke, that obviously didn’t land in your favor.
“You think I’m mean?” Simon's brows furrow. “ I think you could ease up a bit.” you chuckle awkwardly. He lifts a brow, “because I don’t let you slack.” he scoffs, “No because you pick on me for no reason.” You say shifting awkwardly.
 “I told you headphones weren’t allowed.” he says,
“You hovered over my desk then threatened my job.” you press,
“You went against the rules not once, but multiple times. I’m your boss, I’m allowed to monitor.” 
Simon crosses his arms, and before you say anything else Simon excuses you, and you stomp out of his room. Walking to the bathroom you fight back the urge to scream, contemplating quitting this job. Tears build in your eyes out of pure frustration, wiping your eyes aggressively. You gather yourself, and head back to your desk, and you continue your work, putting your headphones in both ears, blasting your music.
You finished your work and sat on your phone until it was time to clock out, ignoring every email sent by Simon and searching for a new job on your computer.
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princessbrunette · 4 months
Note
after reading the “you’re not rafe’s girlfriend but…” prompt i NEED a jj version PRETTY PLEASE🫶🏽
୭ 🍥 ✧˚. ᵎᵎ 🎀
you’re not jj’s girlfriend, but…
he’s smoking you out for free every single time, sitting up right next to him with none other than sativa by jhene aiko playing on his shitty eight dollar speaker, giving you the full princess treatment. he even holds the blunt to your lips, knuckles brushing against them. “see how nice i am to you? lettin’ you get lipgloss allll over the blunt?”
he’s giving you his only helmet so you can ride safely on the back of his bike, glancing at his mirror to see you happily bobbing around like a little bobblehead behind him, clutching his shirt. he even makes sure to fasten it for you, giving the helmet a little knock with his knuckles when he’s done, asking “you ready to ride, sweetcheeks?” as he climbs aboard.
he lets you climb inside his oversized hoodie with him when you’re cold, the both of you laughing as you stretch the fabric, bodies pressed together sharing the warmth. “you know i don’t mind clingy but this is takin’ it to new extremes.” sending you into another giggle fit.
he lets you sleep in his bed, and is more than happy to be woken up by you in the night because your tits are just so sore and you need his magic hands again! “pr-promise i won’t tell the others.” you mewl, trying not to outright moan when his big rough hands slide up your shirt and rub at the fat of your boobs, thumbing over the nipple. “i know babydoll, lay back and relax why don’t you, papa j’s got this.”
he will take any chance to let you hold his hand, but never reach out himself. he’s got issues, and he’s told you multiple times “baby i can’t be your boyfriend, i’m all fucked up in the love department.” which of course doesn’t stop the two of you from acting like a couple anyways. he holds your hand during pogue movie night when the horror movie gets too scary, he holds your hand when helping you climb aboard the HMS Pogue for another ridiculous outing, he even holds your hand in the night when you tell him you need to pee but you’re scared of the dark. you don’t let go even when you’re tinkling in the dimly lit bathroom at the chateau.
he will share a seat with you on john b’s porch, chin tucked against your shoulder as you scroll through tiktoks on your phone. “that one’s so you.” he points out when you scroll onto a video of a ratty little chihuahua. the next video is of a cat pooping in his litter tray. “thats you.” “wow, rude.”
he will eat your pussy so sloppy and stuff you with three fingers just to make you cum multiple times when you open up to him about how your ex thought oral was weird. he’s competitive okay! he just had to show you what you were missing out on!
you’re not jj’s girlfriend, but he’s so in love with you.
୭ 🍥 ✧˚. ᵎᵎ 🎀
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rinkkuma · 4 months
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୨୧ BF SATORU
ft. satoru gojo
tags. gn!reader, a bit of cussing, all fluff ! / author's note. IHATEHIMIHATEHIMIHATEHIMIHATEHIMIHATEHIMIHATEHIMIHATEHIMIHATEHIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (i've actually been going insane because of how much he's taking up my mind) first post of 2024 had to be my one and only of course :3
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uses you as an arm rest even if you're a tiny bit shorter than him. (satoru is 6'3 / 190cm for reference) if you're really short though, he has to lean down more and he's standing like the leaning tower of pisa, so he looks silly.
FACE CARD. he's actually the most majestic, gorgeous, beautiful man alive. up close, far away, from the left, from the right, above, below, he looks so fucking good. don't even get me started on when he has his glasses on.
satoru has a million gazillion of those skincare headbands with ears. he has a few cat ones, a hello kitty one, a kuromi one, and many many more. he even has a whole drawer dedicated to the headbands. (that is very close to overloading) he looks super duper cute with them though, so you never have the heart to tell him to stop buying every headband in existence.
whenever he feeds you something, he puts his hand under your chin to catch any crumbs. a tiny gesture to him, a big one for you. he smiles when your eyes widen and you mumble a “it's good”, and proceeds to poke your cheek.
satoru puts his hand above your head to make sure you don't bump your head whenever you go under a table to pick something up.
he is ever so slightly awkward in the beginning of your relationship, but it's cute! the first time you fell asleep on him, he was terrified to move because he was afraid to accidentally wake you up. 2 hours later satoru really really needed to pee, but decided not to get up because of how much it felt like a crime to wake you up. (you ended waking up anyways because of how much he was fidgeting.)
tucks your hair behind your ears before you can even realize it's bothering you. he looks at you with the most lovesick expression as he does this. he also does this while you're falling asleep, or already fast asleep.
before bed or as you guys wind down for the night, he more than often bursts out laughing at a random thought or a funny memory. scares the shit out of you because one; he's right by your ear, and two; his laugh is loud as fuck. he can't even explain what he was laughing about until a solid three minutes because of how much he was laughing. (and it ends up not being that funny.)
adding onto the above, he's the type to think everything is funny as shit at night. every reel, tiktok, you name it. (even if it's the unfunniest video known to mankind) sometimes if you're already asleep, he has to step out into the bathroom or living room to let out these laughs.
wipes the sweat off his face by pulling his shirt up. he looks at you with a smug fucking smile after.
his contact name for you on his phone is definitely some cheesy pet name (sweet cheeks, baby cakes) with a bunch of heart emojis. his contact photo for you is another story though. constantly changing from a close up picture to a picture of you sleeping.
satoru gets cuteness aggression a lot because of you. clenching his fist and sighing before squeezing you into a tight hug. he'll occasionally bite your shoulder too.
a human radiator. the first time you touched him you thought he had a severe fever, but he calmly told you he was warm all the time. it absolutely sucks during summer because he insists to cuddle with you, and most than often you wake up sweaty. (even with the ac blasting) of course, you try to move out of his grasp when he's asleep, but he only pulls you closer subconsciously when you do. during the winter though, you are so thankful. despite the various blankets you have on, it was hard to get warm and comfortable, but with the warmth of satoru you're nice and warm.
bickers with you if you're on his side of the couch. yes, satoru does unassigned assigned seats at home too. you two playfully argue for a few minutes until he eventually huffs and just sits down on. these arguments are useless though because he ends up pulling you next to him to cuddle.
he's actually really good at taking people when they're sick. making sure you're staying warm under the covers, feeding you proper nutrition and making sure you're drinking enough water. he occasionally leaves the room for you to rest since he doesn't want his naturally warm body making you even warmer, but if he ever sees you up (you're going to the bathroom) he jumps off the couch and pushes you back into bed.
satoru suggests movie nights at home on quiet weekends. turning on an animated movie or romantic movie most of the time. he tucks you into his side with a blanket draped over the two of you. he ends up just staring at you the majority of the movie though.
does that thing where he tells you your shoelace is untied, (which prompts you to look down) and grabs your chin and tilts your head up to look at him. he smirks triumphantly. he does this multiple times a week, and you fall for it every time.
he spoils the fuck out of you on your birthday. gives you the amount of kisses the same age you're turning, listing number of reasons why they love you based on your age, and don't even get me started with how many gifts he gives you. dances while he sings you happy birthday.
once you start dating, you never are tying your own shoe ever again. before going out, he demands you to sit on the couch while he ties your shoes for you. when they get untied, he normally notices it before you. but if you do notice before him and you begin to crouch down, he rushes to crouch down before you and pushes your hand away.
likes comparing hand sizes with you. he has big ass hands, so he likes seeing how small yours are compared to his. totally not an excuse to hold your hand though, not that he would ever admit it.
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harvatat · 2 months
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blanket burrito || jing yuan
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according to jing yuan and the xianzhou luofu, its citizens rarely got sick, the only sickness available to them being mara, which was a fate worse than death for those afflicted with it and for their families, who could be infected. however, even such long-living beings could be afflicted with something minor- the common cold.
and currently, the general of the xianzhou luofu was burrowing into his blanket, sniffling angrily as you tried not to laugh.
"stop laughing," jing yuan whined as you cleared your throat and sniffed, your phone in hand recording the gold-and-pearl-white-adorned general hiding in his quilts. "[name]!" you laugh loudly as you see a crown of messy white hair pop out from underneath the quilt, following by sneezing and some whining.
"aww, poor baby," you coo, and though you know how much he dislikes you cooing at him, he's silently more relieved to feel your touch, and he leans into your palm, nudging it like the stray cats on the luofu he'd occasionally sneak away to feed, and peppering kisses slowly until he tires, which is pretty quickly.
"you should rest," you start as you push him over onto his back and tuck him in gently, kissing his cheek. "c'mon, qin. nice and easy, there. it's just a cold, you'll be fine, i promise."
"i hate it," jing yuan mumbles tiredly as he yawns. "how do you even manage this?"
"rest, far, far away from any yukongs." you smile as he huffs with a grin, turning around to sleep. "sleep well, love."
when jing yuan wakes up, thirsty and sweaty and with a weird need to pee, he doesn't quite understand why he feels so trapped. the world around him is dark and warm, but comfortable, and as his eyes adjust to the scene around him, he realises what you have done to him, and he doesn't know whether to feel betrayed or comforted in the fact that you rolled him into a damn burrito.
"ah! the dozing general is awake!" you laugh as you help him out of the burrito, and all he can do is sigh with relief as you push his sweaty bangs out of his face as he remembered why exactly he woke up.
"i need to pee."
"AND YOU WERE JUST STANDING HERE THE WHOLE TIME??!!?!?"
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idk why i wrote this. ldkghfjdk he is so daddy and baby and dilf at the same time ong i will post the most horrendous downbad smut of this man one day-
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snowy-vee · 28 days
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TUG: Hennessy pourin’ and shit getting fluid
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taglist; @littlegingerperson5 @lil-elliesgf @bready101 @lmaoo-spiderman @elliescoolerwife @girlrotterr @les4elliewilliams @ellseasp @elsgirll @mikellie @radioheadfan699 @boobdrug @backedbeansh @a-little-bit-of-everybody
n/a: 1.3K words, no proof read. Go with the flow because it might be corny, I blame it on Heartbreak High😭😭 Love you all and I hope everybody is on the taglist.
INDEX
Believe it or no, Ellie and you can behave as friends. Good Friends.
“Fuck!”
Friends that go to shop together in need of best friend advice, Friends that casually hang out at the Ice Cream Shop and maybe share the same spoon and try not to make it dirty, Friends that would paint each other nails, etc.
“Keep it down”
¿Green or Red Dress? Skirt. ¿Skirt? Yeah, friends give advice on clothes all the time, they want you to shine and look your best but be comfortable for any situation, like if you go to a Party, you will move a lot, you need something easy to let you do that, something easy to slide…
“Ellie…”
Now, in case of going to a party, you have to pre-game! Take out that strawberry vodka bottle out of the closet and pour the shots ¿What are you waiting for? 1, 2, 3… okay, okay, you might want to slow down, that’s half the bottle, you have to walk to the frat party, of course you have a good friend like Ellie that will put her arm around your waist to help you, yep it tingles. BUTTERFLIES OF FRIENDSHIP.
“You see? The skirt was the best option”
“I-It wa- god, yes yes yessss”
You’re a little bit more sober, enough to walk to the centre and dance. Dina is much better choice for a dancing partner, she will hype you even more than alcohol can, also she knows all the popular songs, she will scream them together with you and will jump of euphoria when they put that one song ¡Oh yeah! She has to grab Jesse to dance to this one, you get it.
“Who’s in the bathroom?! There’s a line waiting!”
“¡Almost done, dude, wait! … ¿Almost done, baby?”
“mmmhm s’close”
Cat’s not here
YET. She will, she has to be around her girlfriend always but she’s not now, so she won’t tell Ellie to chill if you grab her to dance this one song, put her hands on your waist, she might be shy at first as if it was the first time you two danced like this, so close to each other, your ass grinding on her pelvis. Yes, you can’t see her but you know that she’s biting her lower lip by the way her grip lowers to your hips, pressing you two even more together.
“Ellie, I barely feel my legs”
This is the most friendly friend thing to do ¡Oh! Actually, it’s not. Going to the bathroom together IS the most friendly friend thing to do as good/best friends to gossip, to check makeup, to hold the hair of the other if there’s vomit involved, to eat your friend out if she made you so fucking horny that you could literally kiss you in front of everyone despise you both being in a relationship with others.
You adjust the skirt and look at yourself in the mirror, the dim light not letting you see if you looked one hundred percent decent, the knocking in the door intensifies, someone must be urgent to get in. A moment ago, you were on the toilet seat with your legs spread out in mid-air, and Ellie’s face was in between them.
“How do I look?”
“As if you’ve seen heaven”
“Cocky much? Let’s get out before-”
When you were opening the door, it got pushed almost making you fall if it wasn’t for Ellie behind you. It was a dude that entered the bathroom quickly pulling down his pants and peeing in the bathtub, oh that was gross, Ellie had to poke you to stop looking and keep walking as you both started laughing.
“What the fuck was that?” Ellie asked putting her arms around your shoulders to keep you close, there was more people in the house than before and the music was even louder. You shrugged looking around to see where Dina and Jesse where, maybe they were outside close by the pool but your eyes spotted someone else, a girl with short black hair dressed in all black with red and white accessories, seated in one of the couches, looking straight at you.
“Ellie!” Cat got up waving at her girlfriend. Quickly she dropped her arm on you and went to hug and kiss her, of course you were following behind her just to plop down in the corner of the couch, looking somewhere else that wasn’t them. “Where were you? I’ve been looking for you! I asked Dina and she had no idea”
“My fault, Cat, the tequila shots sent me straight to the bathroom, Ellie was helping me”
Ellie sat too with her Cat on her lap now and her hand around her waist moving up and down, but why do you care? Good Friends don’t put that face, change that annoyed face! They are the couple, she’s THE girlfriend.
“You two are always together…” She said in a cold tone, almost sending shivers trough your spine and sure Ellie felt the same because she shifted in a better position and cleared her throat “I see the way you look at us sometimes, as if you hate us being together”
“What?”
“Yeah, at first I thought you were homophobic or something like that, but Dina told me that you weren’t and I believed her, maybe I just saw you in a bad mood, but I started to see that your face was always like that when you saw me and Ellie together, so my question is ¿Do you like Ellie? Is that why you act like that, I’ve seen how you look at her sometimes too and maybe she’s too oblivious to see it but I’m not”
She had obviously been drinking a lot before you two met her here but the way she was talking… She had all this thoughts bottled inside of her waiting for the right moment and you for sure knew that it was mostly the alcohol talking because Cat was someone who would address this type of situation in private and maybe watching how close Ellie and you were triggered her.
“Let’s talk when you are sober, Cat, but just so you know, I don’t like Ellie in that way, only as friends and roommates-”
“Oh, for fuck sakes! You are a whore and everybody knows that, you don’t respect your relationship with Daniel and you think because of that you can meddle in between other’s relationships!” She screamed getting up from Ellie’s lap, catching the attention of the people around, you were just looking at her, unbothered of her words, even if they were true. “If you think that your basic slut tricks are going to break up me and Ellie, you are wrong, she would never cheat on my with a skank like you.”
The people started gathering close to you, Dina and Jesse also came outside the moment someone shouted about ‘Ain’t that Daniel’s girl?!’ knowing that it must be you. “You don’t have nothing to say? You’re not going to defend yourself? So it’s fucking true”
“Cat, stop, you’re drunk and overreacting” Ellie said grabbing Cat by the waist and trying to walk away but she shook her head, taking her hand off of her. You could only chuckled, that triggered her more ¿You were laughing at her? No way “Let’s go, please, everybody is looking at us, you will regret this tomorrow”
“I don’t fucking care, Ellie, I know she’s your friend and you care about her but she don’t see you as that, she wants you! Let me cool her down”
The gasp that left your mouth as the cold beer splashed on your face was the same as everyone there, Dina practically ran to grab your arms because she knew how bad that night could end.
“She’s just drunk, forgive her, no need to fight her, please” she started saying dragging you back to the house and get you cleaned up but you stop her. If Cat wanted an answer, you were going to give it to her, since she wanted to act like that.
“Cat…”
Ellie knew that look in your eyes and she knew you two were fucked. That smirk you had in your lips could only mean that you were ready to spill some venom.
“How does my pussy taste?”
Oh, that's not a very good friend thing to do.
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