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marmixedwithabitofintellect · 2 years

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Chapter Three: Understanding

Chapter 3 is finally here!! I have enjoyed writing this chapter so much especially because of all the topics it covers! I have loved it so much and it definitely is my favorite in this story so far 🥹✨ Come talk to me after you read and tell me what you think! All the love 🤍 Mar

Disclaimer: In no way do I wish to spread hate or negative opinions about any of the characters here depicted, this is just fiction and with the purpose of entertaining you guys

February 14, 2022 – March 13, 2022: Month Three

October 16, 2014

Boston, Massachusetts. 7:35 AM.

The smell of coffee was welcome on this fall day, for once I had made it on time to Professor Jameson’s class and was able to buy my coffee. The class started filling up with students from all over campus since “Political Analysis of the 21st Century” was a common core subject for a lot of majors and minors, including mine.

After a series of arguments with my parents they agreed to let me get my bachelor’s degree with a major in Communications and a minor in Graphic Design, and so far, I have loved every single moment. Upon the recommendation of juniors and seniors I decided to get done with the common core subjects first, hence the reason I was here sitting at one of the biggest halls at Boston University waiting for my professor.

While I was reviewing my notes someone cleared their throat, I turned to look at him and I had to hold my breath, he was tall and lean, head full of loose curls, brown eyes full of kindness hidden behind a delicate frame and a smile to die for, “Hi, are you Y/N?” I stared for a few before I cleared my throat and nodded

“Yeah, that’s me”, his smile grew bigger if that was possible, “We got partnered up for the midterm project, I tried to catch you last class but had no luck”, I chuckled, “Yeah, I tend to get out as soon as I can, but thank you for reaching out”, he nodded and took the empty seat next to mine, “No problem, hey why don’t you give me your phone so we can work a schedule or something”

I nodded and reached into my bag for a post-it, scribbled down my phone number and handed it to him, he smiled before speaking up in a half whisper since Professor Jameson had arrived, “Thank you, I’m Matthew by the way”, I smiled, “Nice to meet you Matthew”

February 13, 2022

London, England. 12:30 PM.

I was pulled from my thoughts when I felt someone squeeze my arm, I opened and closed my eyes wanting to make sure I was not dreaming, however when I opened them, I came across the smile that a few years ago had me weak on my knees, Matthew chuckled before speaking up, “I’m sorry, I guess old habits die hard”

I chuckled, “How are you? It’s been a few years”, he nodded before asking, “About four or five I reckon?”, I nodded. Harry then cleared his throat and I turned to see him, he had a strained smile on his face and was silently asking who the man standing in front of us was, “Oh! Where are my manners? Matthew this is Harry”, he smiled before offering his hand to shake, “Harry it is a pleasure to meet you”

He nodded and curtly answered, “Yeah you too”, they both pulled back before I cleared my throat, “So, do you live here now?”, he nodded, “Well not really, I’m in the process of moving”, a ding from his phone had him checking the message before sighing, “I’m sorry, I have to go, but I hope to see you soon yeah? Maybe catch up?”, I nodded, “Yes of course”, he nodded before turning to look at Harry, “Nice to meet you Harry”, Harry gave him a tight-lipped smile, “You too”

And as he pulled back, I felt myself get lost on memories before Harry squeezed my hand, “Hey, everything okay?”, I smiled at him and nodded, “Yes baby, just surprised I guess”, I cleared my throat before squeezing his hand back, “Shall we?”, he nodded and reached to kiss my temple while we made our way to the museum.

February 20, 2015

Boston, Massachusetts. 9:30 PM

The party was in full swing when the girls and I got there, Chelsea went to look for her boyfriend while Cassie and I searched for Otto and Davie, the four of us were studying communication and had become a very close group of friends. A few minutes later we could see Otto’s blonde man bun and standing next to him was Davie with his favorite Red Sox cap and beside him was another tall man.

When Otto saw us, he smiled and waved to us, and as we were making our way to where he was standing Davie and the mysterious guy turned, and when he did, I stopped in my tracks, it was Matthew. I could see a flash of recognition and a smile on his face before he smirked, “Well, well, well, if it isn’t my favorite partner”, I laughed before saying hello to them and pulling each of them into a hug and stopping to stand next to him.

“It’s good to see you! How have you been? How is junior life treating you?”, he smiled and nodded, “Good, good, working on my dissertation and final credits, and you? How is freshman life?”, I sighed, “It’s interesting, but I cannot wait for it to be over”, he laughed, “Oh you’ll regret saying that soon”, I smirked, “Speaking from experience?” he nodded.

I did not realize but soon enough we were left alone, and we decided to go sit to the back patio next to the bonfire where we delved into a conversation about anything and everything. And as we were sitting there, I realized I could get used to this, conversation on never-ending topics, a feeling of ease and well, looking at his handsome face. I was pulled back from my thoughts when Cassie made her way to me, an apologetic look all over her face

“I’m sorry to interrupt, but we have to wake up in about four hours so we should sleep”, I stood up and nodded before turning to look at Matthew, before I could speak up he blurted, “Go on a date with me”, my heart started beating faster after he said this, I pretended to ponder for a few before giving him a small smile and nodding, “I would love to”, he smiled

“I’ll text you the details, yes?”, I nodded and reached in to place a kiss on the corner of his lips before making my way to where Cassie was waiting for me, after we linked our arms, I turned to see Matthew standing there and waving, I gave him a wink and turned back to see where I was walking to.

February 13, 2022

Harry. London, England. 5:00 PM.

Our date at the museum had been everything I expected and more; I had forgotten how much I enjoyed visiting museums and especially with her and being able to share our passion for art with Pippa was everything I ever dreamed of. After we finished visiting the exhibitions, we went to the gift store and bought Pippa a few books and puppets so we could play with her.

We stopped at the café so we could grab a drink and let Pippa feed, and while we waited for her to be done, we discussed what we wanted to do while we were still here and what we would need to get done before leaving for Coachella. About forty minutes later Pip finished feeding and after we made sure we had everything, and she was buckled back in her carrier we made our way to the car and headed home.

Tonight, was bath night and it was Y/N’s turn, while she was busy bathing the baby, I handled the laundry we had definitely been neglected these last few days. I had just finished putting away the last of my t-shirts and changed into some sweats when the bathroom door opened and out came my girls, I smiled and went to grab Pippa from her arms and kissing her cheek multiple times, “Hi little bug, oh you smell so nice! Did you thank mumma for your bath?”

Y/N smiled and went to the closet to change into some cozy loungewear, when she came out, we headed downstairs for our evening routine. Rain had started to fall since we got home which had us cooking some Minestrone soup and garlic bread for dinner and while everything was ready, we sat down in the living room, Pippa was laying on my knees and Y/N cuddled to my side and started playing with her tiny hand.

There was a question that had been nagging me since we ran into Matthew a few hours ago, and truly I did not want to ruin our day, but I knew that if I kept quiet it would not be good, so I took a deep breath, kissed her forehead and half whispered to her, “It was him, wasn’t he?”, after a few moments of silence I felt her nod her head.

I swallowed the lump of anxiety I could feel was stuck in my throat before speaking, “Do you… do you want to talk about him?”, she nodded again before whispering, “Let’s eat and put her to sleep and then we’ll talk okay?”, now it was my turn to nod and kiss her head in reassurance while she cooed at the baby who was enthralled with the attention that she was getting from her mumma.

August 20, 2015

Boston, Massachusetts. 2:45 PM

My plane had just landed and the only thing I really wanted to do was run to Matthew’s apartment. He had been in Washington for the whole summer working, we had been able to see each other a few times but truly it had not been enough.

After that first date back in February we had continued to see each other until he asked me to be his girlfriend in April. May brought the end of the semester and a few tears with a promise to see each other during summer and a much-awaited reunion in August. Once I got out of the plane I ran across the airport and picked up my bags in baggage claim, ordered an Uber and made my way to the dorms.

I dropped my bags and decided to take a shower before leaving to see him; however, a knock on my door had me furrowing my brows and quickly running to open it, when I did, I found Matthew standing there, a bouquet of daffodils in his hand and a smile adorning his face.

I smiled before letting him in and pulling him into a hug, “What are you doing here?”, he kissed the top of my head multiple times before muttering, “It’s been too long Birdie, I missed you and couldn’t wait”, I smiled and nuzzled into his arms before kissing his pec and pulling back a little, “I missed you too hot stuff”

February 13, 2022

London, England. 7:30 PM.

After we finished eating dinner and cleaning the kitchen Harry said good night to Pippa and I headed upstairs, I sat down in the loveseat in our room and started feeding her; as I did, I took the time to grasp the fact that she now was two months old, her personality was definitely showing through, and she is starting to look like a complete mix between Harry and me.

After a feeding, a diaper change and a little sway and kisses she was fast asleep, I settled her into the cot, turned on the monitor and headed downstairs to meet Harry, I smiled when the smell of apple and cinnamon filled my nostrils, and my suspicions were confirmed when I entered the kitchen and found him brewing some apple cinnamon tea.

When he saw me come in, he smiled and handed me the big cup we had made a few years back during a pottery class, it was definitely well loved and held a lot of memories. We turned off the lights in the kitchen and settled in the T.V. room, the fire was on, and soft music played throughout the speakers.

And as we sipped our tea, I took my sweet time studying Harry’s look; there was something bothering him, and he was conflicted about it too. I could bet it had to do with Matthew and the run-in we had today, but as I had learned with Cece my therapist, I would need to let him speak and not pressure him to do so.

We sat there in silence for a few before he spoke up, “Were you shocked?”, I turned to look at him, “Hmm?”, he gave me a small smile, “Matthew, were you shocked you ran into him?”, I sighed and nodded, “Very”, he nodded too before taking a sip of his tea.

March 25, 2016

Boston, Massachusetts. 9:00 PM

After unlocking the door, I was met with the pleasant smell of Bolognese pasta and my favorite chocolate cake. Soft music was heard through the whole apartment and Matthew’s humming made me smile. After dropping my bag and keys, I removed my shoes and made my way to the kitchen.

I smiled when I saw him finishing plating our dinner, “Hi darling”, he turned and gave me a smile before dropping the plates on the table, “Hi Birdie! Happy birthday!”, he walked to where I was standing and pulled me into a hug, “Thank you babe”, once we pulled back, we made our way to the kitchen where I was welcomed by the smell of Italian food, a personal favorite at the moment.

I was distracted with dinner before Matthew cleared his throat; when I turned, I smiled at him, he was standing there with a big bouquet of daffodils and a gift bag in hand, we both started walking and met halfway, after he handed me my gifts, he kissed my temple before I pulled him into a hug.

Once we pulled back, he started cooking again and I went in search of a vase to put my flowers, while fixing them I spoke up, “Thank you for the daffodils, they’re so beautiful Momo”, I turned and gave him small smile which he returned and continued to serve dinner. I helped him bring the salad and bread to the table while he carried our pasta plates.

And as the soft music played, we started eating and catching up on everything we had missed about each other since the last time we had seen each other two days ago. Being a junior and trying to finish getting all credits while working on projects was very tiring, but I knew at the end it would be worth it.

After we finished dinner Matthew picked up our dinner plates, I was pulling out the dessert plates while he went into the fridge, when he turned, he had a small chocolate cake in his hands; and after he placed it on the table and lit up the candle, we both sang ‘Happy Birthday’, and just before I blew out the candle, he told me to make a wish.

So, I closed my eyes, placed my hands over my heart and made my wish, I wish for a life of adventures, love, and happiness, I opened my eyes again and blew out the candle while he clapped for me.

February 13, 2022

Harry. London, England. 7:30 PM.

A million thoughts ran through my head; was the surprise good or bad? Either way why was she so quiet? Did she miss him? Did she love him still? No, please no, I wouldn’t be able to handle that. Alice had told me that I shouldn’t keep quiet my fears and doubts, but the question is, am I willing to learn the truth and live with it?

She squeezed my hand before asking, “Hey, what’s in your head? Talk to me, yeah?”, I nodded, sat up straighter and turned to look at her, “I know you have told me about your story with Matthew, but I have always felt like there was a part of it that you kept quiet, and I never tried to peak into it”, she nodded, and I took a deep breath.

“But I want you to trust me, to share it with me; I want to know you, what lead to your breakup and what I can learn from it to make our relationship, if you want us to have one, better”, she smiled, “You got me physically naked already and now you’re getting me emotionally naked huh?”, we both laughed at her comment because technically, it was true.

She reached in for my hand and squeezed it before pulling it up to her lips and kissing it and then lowering to her lap, “I agree with you, and you are right, I didn’t give you the whole story, but I need you to know that it had nothing to do with me not trusting you, but with the fact that I was hurt and grieving still”

I nodded before asking her, “Did you ever stop grieving?”, she smiled a little and nodded, “I did, actually”, I smiled, “When?”, “The day I flew to LA to meet a certain singer who had been busy traveling the world, I think you know him?”, a mischievous smile on my face when I answered her, “I may know who you are referring to”, we both laughed before she cleared her throat.

“I’m not going to lie , Matthew was someone really special in my life; you already know how we met and how we started dating”, I nodded, a melancholic faraway look took over her face, “He was my first in so many ways; first love, first kiss, first time, he was the first one to help me pull out of my comfort zone”, there was a feeling at the pit of my stomach I couldn’t identify but I hoped it would disappear soon while she continued to talk.

“Everyone loved him; for my parents he was the perfect future husband: a young handsome guy with a nine to five job, that was a philanthropist on his free time and played tennis at the club and who never missed Sunday Service and Brunch. For me, a guy who didn’t undermine me for our age difference, even if it wasn’t that much and who always said that if I wanted to work I could, or if I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom, he would support it too”

Okay now I understood why she had kept so much private about her relationship to him, and God I wished I would’ve stayed quiet, but if we wanted to learn and be better, I would have to. As if she could read my mind she quietly said, “This is why I was so reserved on talking about it, because you are probably overthinking the situation”

I laughed while nodding my head before clearing my throat, “I really don’t want to be cross or rude, but I really don’t find other way to ask a question”, she nodded and I continued, “If he was so perfect, what happened?”, I saw her lip quiver and tears start to line up her lash line, my heart started beating too fast before I reached to pull her into a hug.

Once she was safely in my arms I kissed her neck before whispering, “Baby no, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you cry”, she shook her head and sniffled, “No, don’t apologize”, she pulled back a little and I grabbed her hand and started running my finger down her knuckles, “Harry, before I continue I need you to know that you are the first person I have ever told this to, not even my siblings know”

My mind started running with the worst-case scenarios, but I had an inkling on what she would say, she blew her nose before continuing to speak, “Matthew and I, we never labelled our relationship; yes when people asked if we were dating we said yes and I referred to him as my boyfriend and him to me as his girlfriend, but there was never a lot of fuss around what we were, the only thing we knew for sure was that we loved each other”

I nodded and continued to run my finger over her knuckles while she continued talking, “Once I graduated college we moved to New York together, we were renting this little apartment in the West Village and life was good, I started working for Vogue while he was working at one of the top financial companies” I nodded.

“We had started discussing what were our common goals, we both agreed we wanted to get married, have babies and maybe move to the Upper Side of Manhattan and raise them there, but the answer was always ‘in a few years down the line’, until one day I found myself with a missed period for two weeks and anxiety crawling out of my throat waiting for the test to finish loading”

What? I was not expecting that, and I bet my face could tell how shocked I was because she let out a half chuckle before continuing, “I think it is safe to understand the result the test showed given the situation we are currently in, but that result lead us to a conversation on how ‘a few years down the line’ could be kept for moving and babies, but not for marriage”

She let out a laugh at the shock I bet was displayed all over my face, this was all too much too soon but I was glad we were talking about it, I cleared my throat and spoke up, “He proposed?”, she shrugged her shoulders before answering, “I mean he did not get down on one knee and said the words ‘Will you marry me’, but there was love; we decided we loved each other enough to share a forever together and then he gave me a ring”

I nodded in understanding still processing what I was hearing, “ However the words ‘we really don’t have to make a big deal of this’, and ‘maybe we should keep it to ourselves for a while’ were involved, which at the time seemed to be a comfort, when in reality it should have been a sign”, I gave her a half chuckle and cleared my throat, “How… how long were you two engaged for?”

“Three months, first month and a half was as if nothing had changed, then came the letter to Edinburgh”, I furrowed my brows, “Edinburgh?”, she nodded, “He applied to study a master’s at the University of Edinburgh, when he first told me about it, I even started looking onto programs for me, but I never found one that fulfilled me”

“I still remember the day the letter came, we had just returned from visiting my parents and there it was, sitting in between bills; I still remember how happy he was and how proud he felt of himself, and I did too, I knew how much he had worked for it, but as the excitement of acceptance washed off and reality of what this move meant crashed, I knew deep down what would eventually come”

June 26, 2017

New York City, New York. 8;45 PM

Thunder, rain, and lightning had overtaken the city over the last few hours, the only source of lights coming from the candles I had lit up a while ago. Boxes were staring to line the hallway, and it seemed they were mocking me, knowing what was about to happen.

A key turning inside the lock pulled me out of my thoughts and made the dread wake up again, he went into his routine, closing the door, dropping his keys in the bowl, removing his shoes, and walking to the kitchen where he leaves his work bag.

A few seconds later he appeared at the living room entrance giving me a smile, “Hi Birdie, how was your day huh?”, the nickname was enough for me to start tearing up again, he started making his way to sit next to me, I answered quietly, “Hi Momo, it was good”

He furrowed his brows, “Birdie? What’s going on huh?”, a small sob left my mouth before I covered my eyes and let the tears fall, he placed his hand in my back and started rubbing it, “Birdie… come on”

After I cried for what felt like an eternity and clearing my tears, we sat there in silence, Matthew’s hand not stopped running down my back, I took a deep breath and prayed to the heavens that the correct words would leave my mouth, “I have been thinking a lot in the last few days, about us, the pregnancy scare, the engagement, Edinburgh”, he nodded.

“And I have found myself feeling conflicted every time the reality of what this all means”, he cleared his throat, “Conflicted?”, I nodded and sniffled, “Matthew, I’m not ready”, he squeezed my hand, “We still have a few months Birdie, everything will be okay yeah?”

Silence. An uncomfortable silence I have never experienced, I started toying with the ring that had been sitting on my finger, but instead of feeling joy I felt dread, I dropped my hands before turning to the window and started talking again.

“I know I was the one who said we shouldn’t make a big deal and we should also keep it quiet; I really thought it had to do with us enjoying the moment, but there was always something there, at first I thought it was because of all the newness this would entitle, but truthfully as the weeks have gone by, the uneasiness has grown”

I sniffled, “And I’ve come to realize that… that I’m not ready for it all”, he whispered, “What?”, I sniffled again, “I’m so sorry Matthew, but I’m not ready; this is all coming too soon too fast, and… and I don’t feel the same excitement or dreaminess I felt a few months ago when we talked about it”

Matthew nodded, a solemn look in his face, “And us?”, oh God, a sob left my mouth while I reached to squeeze his hand, “Matthew, you are so special, so unique, you have brought me so much joy, happiness; you showed me a world I didn’t know and for that I love you, and I’m so thankful for you”

A sad smile started adorning his face, a squeeze returned to my hand, “But you’re not in love with me anymore huh?”, I couldn’t look him in the eye while I nodded, a sob leaving my mouth while he pulled me into a hug swaying and shushing while I cried whispering how things were okay.

When we pulled back, he started clearing my tears, while I apologized, “I’m so sorry Matthew”, a smile adorned his face, “Why Birdie? You were honest and your feelings are so valid; I will not lie, it hurts, and I will probably be sad for a while, but everything will be okay, yes?”

I shook my head, “How can you forgive me so easily?”, he kissed my cheek, “Because I love you, and you are special to me, and I’m so grateful we got to share so much and before you start thinking I hate you I don’t, Birdie you’re young, you deserve to live your life, not the life I want or your parents want”

“And if that is not next to me, it is perfectly fine, I just hope that one day we can run into each other again I hope you tell me that your life was everything you wanted it to be, okay?”, I nodded and sniffled, “Thank you Matthew”, he smiled, “Thank you Birdie”

February 13, 2022

London, England. 7:45 PM.

“I moved out the next week into the apartment we now live in, we didn’t keep in touch after that, but it took me a few months to be other the heartache”, Harry sat there a serious look on his face, “And then?”, I smiled.

“And then, I fell in love with my life again, continued to work in free-lance projects, until I landed a very picky client, he’s a pretty famous singer”, he smirked and pretended to think, “I think so, care to tell me more about him?”, I laughed before continuing.

“Well, he hired me to help him with his album, and somewhere along the way we fell in love; but sadly, one day we broke up, and heck was I felt with a broken heart. I had started to learn about living without him, until one day a little tiny plus sign changed our lives forever, and now we are trying to raise a baby and getting to know each other again; after all I never fell out of love with him”

The smile on his face made everything worth it, he reached and pulled me in for a kiss, a kiss that was everything I needed at the moment, I hear you, I love you, thank you for trusting me, when we pulled back, he smiled at me before whispering, “Thank you for sharing this with me, I feel honored that you trust me enough”

“I do Harry, and I want for this to work for us to be together; frankly we both know that if we were to co-parent, we would do It awesome, but I love you and I want to have a relationship with you”, he ran his knuckles down my cheek, “I do too baby, more than anything I want you”

February 14, 2022

Harry. London, England. 4:30 PM.

I had just finished burping Pippa while Y/N was getting ready, my mum was finishing setting up in the guest room; she had agreed to come stay with us for a few days because she missed her granddaughter and future daughter-in-law, a comment that had me laughing every time she told me.

When I heard someone come down the stairs I smiled when I saw it was my mum, she smiled as she started walking to where I was standing with Pippa in the kitchen, “Hi mum, everything okay?”, she nodded and reached for Pippa, after I handed her the baby, she started kissing her forehead.

“Pippa you need to ask your daddy when will he ask your mumma to be his girlfriend again huh? Say ‘Daddy Nana wants to call her daughter in law”, I laughed before turning to the door to check if she was near before leaning in to whisper, “Baby tell your Nana it will be soon, like soon next week” I winked before pulling back while my mum danced a little.

I laughed and turned when I heard footsteps come down the stairs, I walked out of the kitchen to meet her, she looked so beautiful, once she reached the main floor, I pulled her in for a kiss and whispered against her lips, “Well it seems I’m the luckiest man this Valentine’s Day” she laughed before giving me an eskimo kiss before whispering, “Hi handsome”

We started making our way to the kitchen where my mum was finishing her tea, she smiled and walked to Y/N and handed her the baby so she could give her a cuddle before we left, my mum took a sip of her tea before speaking up, “So, what are your plans today loves?”

I smiled before answering, “We have an appointment for a painting class with a friend of Gemma’s and then we have dinner plans; is Darren still planning on coming over?”, she nodded and smiled, I was happy to see my mum falling in love again, Y/N made her way to stand next to me while my mum gave us a questioning look.

“Are you two sure you have no issue if he comes?”, we both shook our heads before Y/N spoke up, “Anne you deserve to have your date, it is the least we could do after you agreed to babysit”, my mum smiled, “I missed my girl, so this makes me happy. I’m just glad he can be here with us too”, I smiled, “Mum dinner is on me and don’t even try to fight it okay?”

She rolled her eyes and nodded while making her to where we were standing saying goodbye to Pippa, “Bye baby, be good for Nana yes? We’ll see you in a few hours”, after we kissed her forehead once more, we gave her back to my mum and grabbed our coats and masks before making my way to the van.

The drive to the little art studio took about twenty minutes, we got out of the car and walked to the white door before ringing the bell, and while we waited for, I pulled my girl into my arms and started cuddling her and kissing her forehead, and in return she kissed my pecks, we pulled back a little when we heard the lock turn.

When the door opened, I smiled, the brunette had not changed through the years, she smiled before excitedly saying hello, “Harry! It’s so good to see you!”, I smiled and moved from Y/N so I could pull the brunette girl into a hug, “Sadie! It’s been so long”, once we pulled back, she turned to look at Y/N and smiled, “Hi! You must be Y/N, I have heard so many good things about you from Gemma”

Y/N smiled and pulled Sadie into a hug before telling her, “It’s so nice to meet you Sadie, I have also heard so many good things from Gemma”, she smiled and motioned for us to come in, we removed our coats, but she told us to leave our shoes on to prevent accidents and we started following her when she spoke over her shoulder

“By the way, congratulations on Pippa’s birth, Gemma showed me a picture and I died, she’s gorgeous”, we both smiled and thanked her before she stopped in her kitchen and turned to smile at us, “I might have a little surprise for you two from a little birdie”, from the distance you could see the fairy lights inside the greenroom.

I laughed while shaking my head as we followed her to the backyard where I could see a little greenhouse, “I’ll thank Gemma later”, she grinned and nodded before opening the door to the greenhouse, inside the first thing you could see was a long table full of little remnants of arts and crafts, in the back corner there were big racks where different clay figures were sitting, two cabinets full of material were hidden in the back wall and along the right side you could see painting hung up to dry.

When we got in, we noticed that Sadie had set up two canvases opposite of each other and an array of paint colors I bet there were colors I didn’t even knew existed. On the ither side there was an ice bucket with a bottle of sparkling apple juice chilling and a picnic basket with some paninis, chips, fruit, and chocolate.

I smiled as I watched Y/N take in everything before giving Sadie a smile, “This is so beautiful Sadie!”, Sadie smiled and cleared her throat, “So, there is a speaker on the table so you can play your music, and I will go inside. I left a little book with some pictures so you can get ideas on what to paint or you can leave it to your imagination; if you need me you can click on that doorbell and I’ll come, otherwise I will see you two in a few hours”

We both thanked her and waved as she left the room before settling down and getting ready to paint, while I was looking at the book for inspiration she cleared her throat, which had me looking up to her, she smiled before speaking up, “I have an idea for our paintings”, I nodded and placed the book in the table to give her my whole attention.

“Let’s paint something that represents a happy memory for us”, I smiled, “Just one?”, she laughed, “But it cannot be around Pippa, let’s think, like really think about everything”, I smiled and nodded, and while I opened the bottle of wine, and she unpacked the food I raked through my mind on what I wanted to paint.

And as we sat down, I got the perfect inspiration, I cleared my throat before asking her, “Know what you will paint?”, she nodded and grabbed her brush to start painting, I pressed play in my phone, and we started painting.

It had been about fifteen minutes before Y/N called my name, “Yes baby?”, she let out a shuddering breath, “Can I… can I ask you something?”, I nodded, “Did you and Olivia, uhm, ever discuss the future?”, I dropped my brush before turning to look at her, “What do you mean?”, she shrugged, “Like, did you two ever discuss marriage, having your own children? Like it’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it”

“No, no, it’s okay darling, I understand, and we did promise we were going to be honest with each other”, she nodded, and I sighed, “I made it clear since the beginning that before we ever thought of the future, things regarding Otis and Daisy would have to be settled with Jason, she wasn’t too happy about it but agreed”

“When Jason and her were able to work something out for the time being we started discussing moving in, truth I wasn’t too sure, Otis and Daisy were getting used to this new arrangement, I still remember one day Daisy asked me to call her dad because she missed him and it broke my heart, funnily enough, the day I found you in L.A. we were discussing the fact that she wanted to move in but I didn’t want to”

She nodded and squeezed my hand, which I took as a sign to continue, “Marriage was not on the table, I was busy touring and she still had to settle with Jason, and kids were ever only brought up when she had that scare last year, and we know how that ended”, she cringed at the memory and I kissed her knuckles before speaking up, “So yes, there was some talk, but nothing too serious”

She nodded and I cleared my throat, “Baby everything okay? Where is this coming from’”, she nodded, “Well… no, I guess I have been thinking a lot about my relationship with Matthew and your relationship with her, and… I don’t know”, I squeezed her hand once more before kissing her knuckles, she sighed before talking, “I cannot help but compare myself to the Y/N that broke up with Matthew all those years ago, and how karma did reach me when I broke up with you over falling in love with Olivia”

I nodded solemnly letting her know I was listening, “If I told the Y/N that was sitting in her first NYC flat that things would improve after her break up, then go to shit again and then shift so much, she would laugh; because truly my life has been so unexpected and what I needed but wasn’t sure I did, and I know that it sounds like a complaint but it isn’t, I’m still trying to understand everything, and well truth is that every time things come up in therapy I stir the pot”

I smiled a little, but there was something in her eyes that told me she wanted to say more, “Darling, what’s bothering you still?”, she laughed before speaking up, “You’ve always known me too well… I guess I have a confession to make, and I’m scared of how you will react and the floodgates it will open”, I furrowed my brows, but she beat me before I could speak up, “I saw the ring H”

My heart stilled and I whispered, “What?”, she smiled a little, “I was putting away your laundry from set, from the two weeks you were away due to the Covid case, and all of your underwear were not fitting perfectly, so I reached in to see what was going on and found the box”, I gave her a nervous laugh and she cleared her throat, “I thought you were acting the way you were because you were going to propose, and God how different it turned out to be huh?”

I nodded and she squeezed my hand before taking a sip of her wine and clearing her throat, “Wow okay this feels loaded now and I do want to continue talking about it, so why don’t we finish our paintings and once we do, we’ll show each other and continue yes?”, I nodded and reached in to pull her for a kiss, okay maybe two and then we continued painting.

February 14, 2022

London, England. 6:00 PM.

I knew what i wanted to paint since we arrived at the studio, and I was very excited Harry was so onboard with it. As we were painting, and conversation started flowing I realized we still had a lot to discuss but we needed to decompress a little before we could continue talking. I had just finished putting on the finishing touches to my painting when H cleared his throat and let me know he was done too.

I smiled before speaking up, “What if we showed our painting at the same time?”, he nodded and grabbed his canvas before clearing his throat, “On the count of three yes?” I nodded, “One… two… three!”, we both turned our canvases, and we started laughing. Because right in front of our eyes I found that we had both painted something related to the same memory.

Harry had painted the landscape of the hill where the house we stayed during our visit to Sorrento, while I had painted the hill and the ocean because we both knew we weren’t professional, his eyes lit up when he came to the realization and he let out a laugh, “Really? Same memory?”

I nodded and grinned, “Guess we really loved it huh?”, he nodded before reaching for my hand and squeezed it, “It was a very special trip and time baby, it was magic and bliss”, I reached from across the table and pulled him into a kiss before whispering against his lips, “It really was”, he smiled before pulling me into another kiss.

While the painting dried, we started munching on the contents of the basket and continued to talk, I was finishing my panini before he cleared his throat, “Should we… uhm should we continue the conversation we left off?”, I nodded and swallowed before speaking up, “Just promise me, that this won’t cause a fight between us”, he reached in for my hand and kissed it before speaking up, “Uncomfortable topics will make us have a better communication okay?”

I nodded and cleared my throat, “I have trouble understanding why would you buy an engagement ring if you weren’t sure”, he sighed, “I bought the ring a year into our relationship”, my heart stopped, “What?”, he smiled, “Funnily enough, during the Sorrento trip, while you were busy baking and cooking and learning Italian with Giuseppina, I was visiting jewelry stores”

I nodded and he continued talking, “I wanted to propose right then and there, but I knew it would be too soon, so I decided to wait, and wait, a year later we were both in our projects and on top of our careers that I thought 2021 would be a better year to get married, but… yeah”

I chuckled, “We both know what happened”, he nodded, I sniffled and cleared my throat, “If you were so set on us… on us getting married, why Harry? Why break my heart like that?”, he reached in and pulled me in for a hug, where he let me cry for a few moments before he pulled back started caressing my cheek and speaking up.

“Everything was good, yes we had our fights and we made up, we shared our dreams, goals and aspirations, and for the first time, ever, I felt complete peace, I was truly happy, because I had found my better half and yes I know it sounds cheesy but is the truth, you balance out my perfection and I do my best to uplift your confidence, you help me see the good in everything and I help you remember how beautiful and charming and incredible you are”

I smiled while he continued to speak, “It was finally starting to feel real, it was sinking that sooner rather than later I was going to ask my best friend to marry me, that we would start a new chapter of life together, have some babies, and live until we were old together, and as exciting as that was, the realization was also hitting; how could I, a child of divorced parents keep a healthy relationship and marriage together?”

I squeezed his hand before whispering, “You are not your parents H”, he nodded, “I know that now, but at the time I didn’t, and my insecurities got the best of me”, I squeezed his hand, “Baby how long had you been feeling that way?”, he shrugged, “A few months, I was planning to propose on the anniversary of you moving in with me”

I nodded while he continued, “But then filming started, and I formally met Olivia and Chris and met again with Florence and Gemma, and you were here and everything was great, until one day the compliments started flowing, ‘Great job H, better than last time but we will roll it again’, ‘Harry the dancing? Impressive I’m so glad you agreed to it’, and we then moved to ask for my imput on shots, what emotions should we convey”

He sighed, “Then after we came back from our break from the Covid case she seemed even more excited than before to see me, and there were subtle details like a coffee just how I ordered it in my trailer, some lunch a few days and when the cast and crew got together she always made sure I was there for the important discussions and the thoughts and opinions got back to my higher up management which was a win-win”

I bit my lip and nodded a little before he continued, “I guess at the time I was loving getting that attention, and slowly I was expecting those details, because I started to see that this was not because of my acting but for me; I would be a hypocrite if I said that I didn’t love the attention I was getting, and after breaking up I used it as an excuse”

He squeezed my hands, “A few months later I realized that I had confused being needed by someone to being wanted by someone; because unconsciously I needed her attention and her love to heal up the pain I was feeling from our breakup, but truly I wanted all of you, your heart, your best and worst, your thoughts, and above all your love”

I sniffled before speaking up, “I really thought you had feelings for her”, he nodded, “I cared for her, and I was appreciative of her helping me deal with what I was feeling, but I didn’t love her”, I nodded, “You didn’t come for me”, he gave me a sad smile, “I did”, I furrowed my brows, and he ran a hand down my cheek

“I flew to New York after Jeff and Glenne’s wedding, I was determined to get you back, and I remember standing outside your door about to knock until I let my fears get the worst of me, like how on Earth would I explain to you what I was feeling without hurting you even more? And if you did forgive me, how would I be able to make it work? like I said, I realized I didn’t have the best examples; so, I didn’t knock and left”

I gave him a sympathetic look, “Harry…”, he smiled, “I am better, therapy has done wonders and I know I am not them and I am only responsible for my actions and not theirs; and I do get to choose and learn from them”, I nodded and smiled in agreement, “but there is one thing that will never change: the fact that I am choosing you; I am choosing Pippa and I am choosing the life we will build together” I gave me a timid smile and nodded, “I am choosing you and Pippa and our future life too”

February 25, 2022

Harry. London, England. 8:30 PM.

We had finished eating the past we spent all afternoon making, and while Y/N went and settled Pippa for the night I was cleaning up the kitchen and moved to the living room, I could hear some steps behind me before she spoke up, “She went out like a light” I smiled and patted the space next to me in the couch.

She gave me a smile and started cuddling her and kissing her forehead while she sighed in contentment, we pressed play in the movie and ate our sweet treat my mum had left for us. There has bene something on my mind for the last few days and especially since her and Pippa would fly back to the US pretty soon.

That had caused a fight between us, but I understood that it would be the best for Pippa, and in turn I would definitely push to be back soon with them. Once the movie finished, we sat up and stretched she turned to look at me and tapped my nose before asking me “What is on your head baby?”

I smiled, “I have been thinking about a lot of things, but above all about how much we have both grown and above all, how much I love you”, she smiled and squeezed my hand, “I love you too”, after a few seconds in silence before I blurted out, “Be mine”, she sat up straighter, “Sorry?”, I smiled and squeezed her hand, “Will you be my girlfriend?”, she smiled and gave me an apprehensive look.

“Harry, how can I be sure you won't pull a freak out again? Because I must remind you, now it isn't just me but her too”, I nodded and understood where she was coming from, that is why I had something planned, I reached into my jacket and pulled out a box, handed it to her and asked for her to open it, when she did tears were filling the corners of her eyes before she let out a wet chuckle and whispered, “My necklace”

I cleared my throat, “Turn it around”, she furrowed her brows but followed my instruction, a choked sob left her mouth once she did, because the inscription had changed from To a promise of forever to read, To a promise of forever; cross my heart

She grabbed my cheek and pulled me in for a kiss, we pulled back and pressed our foreheads together before I whispered, “I know it’s not promise ring, but I need you to know, I held onto this until last month when I had to send it to add the new engraving”, she pulled back and sniffled before speaking up “What do you mean?”

I smiled, “Had Lamby add a small pocket in my concert and in normal outfits i always had it in my pocket, I couldn't part with it; like I told you last time, I screwed up, but I’m done thinking about the what ifs, I’m not wasting this second chance and as soon as you let me, I’ll marry you and we will think of when's”

She let out a wet chuckle, “You’re so sure I will say yes that you’re thinking about marriage huh?” I laughed and nodded, before she pulled in for a kiss before whispering against my lips, “Yes”, I pulled back and gave her a small smile, “Yes?”, she nodded before kissing me again, when we pulled back, she kissed my cheeks before saying “Let’s write the story of us”

March 4, 2022

Harry. London, England. 12:30 PM.

The tarmac was buzzing with planes getting ready to leave, Harry, Tommy and Jeff were finishing talking with the stewardess about our flight information; we had agreed that Tommy would fly with us and make sure we got home safe.

The last few days here had been spent visiting family, house hunting and above all enjoying the bliss of being able to tell people we were together again; I will always remember the happiness in Anne’s face when we told her, and Gemma was on her way to celebrating a party.

We had to tell my family and our friends back home through the phone, but the excitement was the same. Yesterday we had spent it packing and crying, Harry would be staying here for the next two or three weeks while I would return home and settle back into our routine. We both weren’t so happy about this but knew it was for the best, and that was enough to keep us both going.

The mood had significantly dampened since we left Harry’s house and made our way to the airport, the private terminal was empty which allowed for us to be a little more at ease. I had just hung up with Anne and Gemma and said goodbye again, Pippa was in her stroller sleeping, when she started stirring up a little, I placed her cover over the stroller, and I swayed it a little hoping to help her settle.

As I was putting my phone away, I saw Harry make his way to us, I gave him a smile and he gave me back a very small one, “Hi mister”, he sat down next to me and kissed my temple, “Hi sweetheart, everything is set”, the knot in my belly tightened, we waited for a few minutes before Jeff came to get us before he stopped in front of us and asked us, “Shall we?”

We both nodded, we stood up and Harry grabbed the stroller’s handle, while Jeff grabbed our bags and I grabbed my backpack, security helped us get to the plane and waited until Harry and Jeff were ready to leave, after storing the bags we wouldn’t need for the flight along with the stroller and car seat, Jeff and Tommy let us know they would confirm some things with the crew.

Jeff hugged me and he caressed Pippa’s head before wishing us a safe flight and walking away with Tommy, when I turned to see Harry my heart broke, he was sitting and cuddling Pippa to his chest while tears clouded his eyes, I kneeled in front of him and squeezed his knees, he closed his eyes and sniffled

“Baby…”, he shook his head before sniffling and speaking up, “I know we agreed to do what’s best for her, but that doesn’t mean I’m not devastated”, I kissed his knee before speaking up, “We always knew this would be hard my love, but we will always make things work okay? you’ll be back with us before you know it”, he nodded and then leaned to kiss her forehead multiple times before whispering to her temple.

“Please don’t grow up too fast Pip, daddy won’t be able to handle it”, Pippa let out a squeak which made us laugh, I hadn’t noticed I was crying until I tasted the salt on my lips, “She won’t, but I promise we will talk every single day yes?”, he nodded and then pulled me into a kiss, “I’ll miss you my love”, I smiled, “I’ll miss you too handsome”

He disembarked the plane but not before sending us a kiss, and once the doors closed and the plane started sliding around the tarmac, I started to breastfeed Pippa while whispering to her, “Everything will be okay baby, it’s just you and me for a while, yes? And then daddy will come home, and we will be very happy together”

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