#Clover deserves better but probably not like this

[heartfullofleeches]

not to be crazy but i think the first time his darling called him “husband” during sex clover came immediately and then spent like 20 min crying about it

[suggestive/very light smut, minors begone]

"Clover - you coming to bed soon?"

"In a moment, dear. Just finishing up."

The magician waits for the settle of the bed as you lay back down before snipping the excess string of the stitching over his heart, picking up a roll of bandages as he places the medical scissors in hand on the counter. He wraps the gauze around his torso twice over with a third binding for good measure. It really was a hassle, more nights than before now considering he had a lover. Nothing Clover had tried was able to seal the wound. Stitches of various patterns, patches and whatever cut of cloth deemed viable- all bled through by that eternal infliction within his heart. The only functional stopper was the dagger that had done him in. The ghastly sight disgusted him before, but now it only reminds him of how times had changed for the better.

Though his heart had been torn to shreds in the physical sense, it and his broken soul had been mended by the simple comfort of another to share his bed with. Clover wipes at the mirror, staring deeply at his reflection. A man once without a love now a beast with so much he'd die for good at its lost. How could such a face catch the eye of someone as magnificent as you?

Somwhere, his ears catch the faint rustle of fabric. Clover's eyes dart to the bathroom door as an article of clothing hits the tile.

"What a spacious bed. If only I had a certain rabbit to take up some of the room."

"Ah - I'll be there shortly, my love." Clover gathers up his supplies and crams them into the medicine cabinet before dropping to pick up the fallen cloth. His face burns red; fur frizzled as he smoothes the soft fabric in his hands realizing it to be your underwear. The rabbit hops to his feet, flicking off the bathroom light as he barrels into the bedroom. You sit up as he makes his way over to the bed, pressed back against the headboard as his lips meet yours - fingers gripping the hip of your night shirt.

You giggle, roused to laughter by his fluff as he kisses at your neck. "If I had known this was going to be your reaction, I would've done that sooner."

Clover freezes like a deer in headlines; ears twitching with a nervous tic. "I.. I'm sorry, did I keep you waiting too long? A-am I going too fast? This is all so new and I suppose all the excitement just makes me a little..."

Clover yelps as you bring your hands up to his face. " I'm just messing with you. There's no rush, Clover so just take it easy."

The rabbit melts as your warm thumb strokes over his cheek. How serene every waking second with you was. His ever present fears and anxieties washes right away spending mere seconds in your arms. Clover sighs, placing a palm over your left - tracing the cold metal wrapped around your finger.

"I'm aware, it's just... being with you is such a wonderful experience, Angel. I'd hate for there to be any reason you didn't feel the same."

"If I didn't, I probably wouldn't be sitting here half naked in your bed. Now, you gonna kiss me again or -"

You didn't need to tell Clover thrice. Clover kisses you, gently lowering his weight atop you as he supports your back with one hand. You help undo his belt as he rolls your shirt up to your chest, marveling at your breathtaking image through lidded eyes. He could never find himself getting used to the sight - falling in love all over again everytime you give him more to behold.

Clover whines into your chest, squeezing the back of your neck as he presses in deep. He fancied himself the type to treat his love as the treasure they were, but finally having you in his grasp he couldn't control himself. He swore another night he'd give you everything you do deserved. A dreamy smile spreads across his face your fingers lock together. You weren't technically wed just yet, but how he heart leapt being able to claim you as his spouse now. In the dead of night, the word slipped from his lips as you held each other dear. It was magical.

Clover rocks into you slow, cherishing the heat your body gives as he imagines the night of your official commune. Holding you - like this, hours after your vows of everlasting devotion. He'd lean in, whispering ever so softly. "What has someone like I done to desire a spouse as wonderful as you?'

Clover flushes. He didn't mean to say that aloud. To his surprise, you lock your arms around his neck sporting a dazed smile of your own - stealing his heart for the billionth time as you speak.

"Dunno. What did I do to get such a loving husband?"

"H-husband?..." His ears fall flat; a whimper caught in his throat as tears cloud his vision. Your husband - him. It was too much to bare. An angel, his dear gift from above - choosing him of all beings. His spouse to have, to love, to...

"F-uck..." Clover pants, gripping the sheets as he bottoms out inside you, spilling deep as he buries himself in your warmth. He fucks lazily into you, energy spent - but determined to ride his high to completion. He shutters, pulling out as he picks his tired body off of you. The euphoria fades, and shame overtakes as his cum leaks out onto the satin sheets.

"Stars, I... I usually don't- I didn't mean to- I was going to pull out I just-"

Clover gasps - tearducts reaching compacity as he throws himself towards the end of the bed covering his eyes. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I'm an awful husband. I don't even deserve to be the one who can call you his spouse."

You shoot up from the mattress as he wails, throwing a comforting arm over his shoulder. "Clover - Clover, it's okay. Don't say that about yourself over something like this."

Clover wipes at his eyes. "But... but, I failed you as a husband...."

"No you didn't. You just got a little excited, that's all. I love you, Clover - and this doesn't change anything."

You press a kiss to his tear soaked fur as Clover brings his hands down to his chest. Moments like this remind him of one of the best things about being married. Loving your soul mate through faults and all. Yours only made you more perfect in his eyes. He wondered if it was the same for you.

Clover rubs his nose against your hand. "S-still... I feel bad. Is there anyway I can make this up to you?"

"There's nothing for you to make up for, but if you really want to..." His eyes widen as you guide his head between your thighs, throwing a leg over his shoulder. "I think here would be a good start."

Clover paws at your thighs, gripping them to pull you closer to his face as tongue licks at your sex and his release. Here was a much better placement for him and he prayed with all his tattered heart you'd be able to take all that he was so willing and eager to give.

#yandere oc #yandere imagines #yandere headcanons #yandere x you #yandere insert #yandere blurb #male yandere #yandere scenarios #yandere x reader #yandere #soft yandere #yandere drabble #♣️ my oc #yandere smut

[medowlarken]

more 104th headcanons, but this time it’s all about relationships baby:

jean’s dad often left town for work, so it was just him and his mom most of the time. their relationship is distant but good

historia is one of those cottage core girlies who can make jewelry out of flowers and shit. she’d make matching clover rings for her and ymir

connie and sasha dated for about 2 weeks before being like nahhh lmaooo

literally everyone had a crush on reiner at some point

despite herself, annie enjoyed spending time with mina and they would do chores together a lot. her death was one of the very few she mourned

jean, marco, and thomas’ moms became close after trost. they get brunch together twice a week

mikasa pretends not to notice jean’s crush hoping he’ll eventually move on. not bc she dislikes him but bc she thinks he’s a good person who deserves better

jean kirstein: woman respecter 

marco inadvertently lead on like half the girls in their class bc they thought he was flirting with them. poor guy was just very polite and homosexual

sasha’s village was much more socially conservative than most other places. so when she sees pda for the first time she’s like >:o is that allowed?? 

eren and armin’s relationship turned romantic soon after joining the corps. mikasa caught them smooching in a supply closet and stood guard outside until they were done 

asexual mikasa!!!!! she just wants to love and be loved in return :/

bertolt liking both annie and reiner and nearly giving himself an aneurism over it

floch will call someone gay as an insult then daydream about other men

meanwhile connie lets slip that he and jean practice kissed bc he wants the ladies to know he has experience

(these are fun so ill probably do more! maybe a nsfw one if the mood takes me)

#attack on titan #aot #aot headcanons #shingeki no kyojin #snk #jean kirstein #marco bott #reiner braun #bertolt hoover #annie leonhardt #eren jeagar #mikasa ackerman #armin arlert #eremin #sasha braus #connie springer #floch forster #historia reiss #ymir #yumihisu

[oscconfessions]

I don't like clover. I kinda want her to get hit by a dump-truck, ran over, and then have the contents of it dumped on her corpse. of course this would never happen thanks to her luck, the truck would probably swerve directly into nickel and embed him into the pavement. poor nickel. he did nothing wrong in season 2 btw. anyway, back to clover. gosh, she sucks. her personality is completely one-directional and fixated on one single trait. being lucky is all she is and all her "development" amounted to. I somewhat wish I got to see the fist thingy blast her sky high, but nope, she gets to fly away on her little pink butterflies (with admittedly cool names) to who knows where. the fist would've probably ended up somehow hitting nickel anyway. also I was partially wrong about him in season 2. yeah he was a bit of a jerk but it was still hilarious. peak character. anyway, he didn't deserve to have to deal with clover's crap. none of the contestants did. the show could have replaced her with anyone else, heck, even "Box II" would be better than her terrible excuse of a character. I don't like clover.

.

#hater compilation #confession #/ii #/ii/clover #clover neg #ii neg

[sugarschnaps]

Leland HCs but it's a Carnival Date <3

So, Leland doesn't get the attention he deserves. Neither do the rest of the victims, but I'm here cracking out content for y'all because they deserve better and they need the wholesome energy just as much as I do So I'm gonna write HCs for everyone (victims I mean) if they went to a carnival!! :DDD Starting with Leland because he <3

─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───

He's not excessively competitive, he doesn't feel a need to be. But, before you get there and you oh so confidently tell him you're going to beat him at everything, he has that smirk on his face that is literally rarer than finding a four leaved clover. And you immediately feel suspicious about it, because Leland is so non-chaotic that it genuinely sparks fear when he has the look of mischief on him. 

Lo and behold, you can't beat him at any of the games. He's a cowboy bestie, born and raised in Texas of all places. He's good at everything. You try every single carnival game there is, and where it's close on some games, Leland literally always beats you. You can't even stay mad at him, he's just brilliant, period. 

The whole cocky energy he gets when he beats you at everything and you get irked because it was only like two points of difference (but he still won) is really annoying but really attractive at the same time. Like, everyone is used to Leland being the sort of soft boy, self confidence issues and the like. Here? Oh no, he's so full of himself, and as much as it's irritating it's good to see him so confident about his skills for once. (This is the ONLY occasion he isn't continuously doubting himself) 

You two end up getting snacks while you're there also, because fortunately, you don't have to blow all your money to win a game. Leland is the type of person who absolutely can't do sauces for himself when it comes to hotdogs, and when you pull off the perfect squiggly lines like every commercial, he is just in awe for several moments. That's the one thing you hold over him as a win, because his hotdog is literally a mess and the equivalent of a theatrical murder (there is ketchup EVERYWHERE, on his hands and everything) he's a total mess and you end up having to get extra tissues and wipe him off because his hands have so much ketchup on them that he cant do anything without getting ketchup on it lmao 

The sauce bottles DO NOT like him at all he's cursed and ketchup specifically has a grudge against him 

Once the ketchup crisis is over, you two walk around munching on your hotdogs and just chat for a while. About the silliest things, mostly poking fun at each other over the small things that had gone on. Somehow he turns things that are incredibly embarrassing for you into genuinely funny jokes. He can always make you smile, that's why you came here specifically with him. 

Then when you're done eating, you two decide to go check out the bull riding, because Leland is a cowboy and you want to see the most stereotypical cowboy things go down, not just because you love him, but because you also want to see him go flying off of a mechanical bull. 

Unfortunately for you, Leland is also good at bull riding. And the whole time he's just smirking like he is SO smug it's really funny-- And another unfortunate event is that you are NOT good at it at all, and you're left a complete mess, hay in your hair and everything just staring up at him. He'd be stood over you, trying his utmost not to laugh while he holds his hand out, biting the inside of his cheek and resisting his urge to make some cheeky comment. 

He'll help you fix your hair, though, and then he'll make some comment about how terrified you looked or something similar. He's a cocky boy when it comes to carnivals and anything that's stereotypically very country. Truly a very cowboy baby man, he is. 

If you two end up going on any of the rides, Leland purposefully chooses to go on the one he thinks would scare you the most. It probably does end up giving you mild anxiety, and it's a perfect excuse for him to give you little cuddles and tell you it's okay. He also fixes your hair (again) and gives you THE cutest smile. He literally could light up an entire room with his smile, it's so sweet-- 

By the time you two leave, you have more prizes than you know what to do with. Of course, they're mostly from Leland, but he purposefully gets you whatever he spots you eyeing up prize-wise. He's annoyingly observant about these things. It's halfway like he's completely different when it comes to carnivals. 

Either way, on the way home, you're both all smiles and laughs together, because Leland is the sweetest, purest little guy you've ever met. He makes sure you get home safe, and gives you a hug and a kiss on the forehead as he says good night to you and everything. He's so baby I love him!!! <3 <3 <3

─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ─── I absolutely hc that anybody's parents would approve of you dating Leland, like he's the good boy everybody wants but few people deserve

#tcm game #texas chainsaw massacre #leland mckinney #leland tcm #headcanon #wholesome #tcm #I am living for this boy #he is so <3 #hes so silly #but hes also hot #like #gun interactive fight me #im making the lore for them at this point

[vilandel]

Morning Mist & Night Traffic

Prologue

A/N And I did it, my Black Clover Modern AU finally started! I'm so excited about it. The prologue sadly still goes well with angstpril... But I promise you, there will still be fluff and a happy ending ♣️ 💘

Ao3 link

♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣

Between all the yells and curse words, Nozel thought he heard things getting broken, probably by being thrown against a wall. Maybe it was one of the Ming vases. Or one of his father’s modern sculptures that looked like nothing.

Nozel just leaned more against the wall, hoping to melt with it. This was worse than any of the arguments his parents had before. This one was more direct, it was louder and the subtility was gone, as well as the ability of holding back.

He couldn’t tell if this was a good thing, though. Yes, his mother needed to let all those years of deception out, she deserved better than what… father did during the whole time of their marriage.

Father… How much Nozel hated that word. Yes, other children had certainly amazing fathers. But none of those were like his. This was the only father Nozel knew and because of that, he couldn’t consider father a word to love.

Other children maybe would mostly hate if their parents would get a divorce, even when there was no other choice. But Nozel hoped it. It would be the best for mother and for his siblings. To be away from that man.

Hopefully mother would understand that after today.

Hopefully… They couldn’t be the happy family anymore she wished for with him. All of their happy memories were from when he was away.

A little whine came to his ears. Nozel immediately looked down, to the bundle in his arms. The yells had woken up his little sister Noelle, who was just one year old and so, unable to understand what was going on. Nozel didn’t know if she was lucky or unlucky that she couldn’t get what was happening.

He also decided to only blame the man that was sadly their father for waking his baby sister up. Never would Nozel blame his mother for that. She didn’t mean it and if Acier would learn, she would feel so terribly guilty.

“Shh, Noelle, it’s alright, I’m here…”

It was just a whisper, but Noelle heard it somehow. There were still tears shining in her big magenta pink eyes, but she calmed down. His baby sister looked at him, certainly scared because of the yells. Nozel cradled her more and started to rock her softly. She was only one, she was still a baby. He had to protect her from the shards that were currently breaking their family apart.

If their father would stay, it will certainly shatter…

Were his other siblings fine? Nozel wasn’t that worried for Solid right now, he was currently at the Vermillions, with aunt Océane, to play with their cousin Kirsch. He would start to realize that something is wrong with their family, he was just four but old enough to start noticing things going wrong… Nozel always tried to make him understand a bit that they couldn’t expect anything from their father, that only mother truly cares about them. But he probably hasn’t done it well, as Solid was still confused and stubborn.

And to be honest, Nozel didn’t want Solid to learn the whole truth with only four. Even with fourteen, it was too early to face that…

But Nebra was here, in the house somewhere. Hopefully in the garden, where she wouldn’t hear any of the yells.

Hopefully.

Nebra was nine, still too young, but old enough to actually realize that something was wrong with their family. And Nebra wasn’t stupid. Nozel did notice that she always had a certain look in her eyes when there was tension between their parents. Nozel prayed the Heavens that she wouldn’t become an adult too early despite this horrid realization. He already felt like a bit too adult sometimes, but someone had to support mother and give her the comfort every day. Her sister, aunt Océane, couldn’t come every day and the workers at the family business weren’t close enough to them and…

Now, Nozel almost felt like he would cry soon. Was there really no one but him to support mother? An adult, a friend? Heck, despite despising adultery thanks to his father, Nozel would exceptionally even accept a secret lover, just because his mother deserved to be truly loved and appreciated. Something his father never did.

Nozel hold Noelle softly closer to him. It was already a difficult situation. Hopefully it wouldn’t end up as a tragedy.

“Oh, there you are.”

Nozel looked up and saw Nebra entering the nursery. She was wearing the pink dress with the blue flowers that mother got her on their only-girls shopping trip last week and she had her favorite spider plushie in her arms. With the pink ribbon in her silver hair, she looked like a happy little girl with no worries at all.

But the frown and the serious look in her magenta eyes destroyed that happy image immediately. It broke Nozels heart.

“Nebra… I thought you were in the garden.”

“I was, but I could hear the yells even there. I didn’t know that mother knew such cursing words.”

How wonderful. Even their garden wasn’t wide enough to not hear the yells anymore. What if the whole city of Clover could hear them? What if people would hear and decide that mother was in the wrong, what if they would rather support him?

Nozel felt so scared right now. But he couldn’t let Noelle and Nebra show anything about it. He was their older brother, he was fourteen already and he sadly knew better than them what was going on. It was his job to protect his siblings. In this case, his sisters, since his brother was thankfully not here.

“Is she not crying with all the noise?” Nebra asked while sitting next to him and pointing at Noelle, who had tears, but didn’t cry. Yet.

“I do my best to calm her.”

“Noelle is always the calmest with you,” Nebra said, with a hint of envy that almost made Nozel smile. Almost. “With me, she either cries or is more interest by her stupid dragon plushie. But at least, I try to bond with her. Solid either calls her ugly because she’s a baby, broken when she cries or he asks that we should return her and find the receipt, to return her. Dang it, our sister is not a toy to return!”

“Forgive him, he is only four and babies are weird in his eyes. You did the same when Solid was a baby, remember?”

“It’s not the same, I’m a girl and he’s a boy,” Nebra said while flicking her hand. She sounded very certain of her statement.

“Did you hear anything about… what mother and father are yelling to each other?” Nozel asked.

“I didn’t try to listen, it makes ears bleeding.”

Nozel couldn’t agree more. He also didn’t try to listen, but mostly because he knew already what they were yelling about. It was always the same lately, only that it was more direct and loud this time.

“I did hear mother say something about divorce, though.”

Oh, really? That was new. But Nozel didn’t try to be happy about it right now. Was his mother suggesting the divorce or was she against it? At this point, Nozel wouldn’t be surprised by either possibility.

“Nozel, what is a divorce?” Nebra asked, which made him flinch. He didn’t know if he should explain it to her, she was only nine years old. But at the same time, she would learn it soon enough. Better from him than from someone else who wasn’t close to the Silvas or who might support their father.

“It means that people who are married can’t live together anymore, due to reasons, and so they got separated.”

Nebra nodded, thinking. Nozel wonders sometimes if he should be worried that she was a bit too mature for her age lately.

“I don’t want mother and father to get separated.”

“Maybe it will be for the best for all of us. And for mother even more.”

“Can we be a family when our parents are separated?”

“It wouldn’t be the first time a family goes through that and some are apparently still feeling like families.”

“But ours? With all the screaming?”

No, not really. Nozel wondered if he should tell Nebra that all of them would be better up without their father, but-

There was a loud noise going suddenly through their villa, as if someone just shut the door. Then, their mother yelled something about waiting.

Oh no… Their father probably left for his penthouse and mother would run after him. This wasn’t good, not good at all. Nozel didn’t know why, but he had suddenly a terrible feeling. He had to do something!

“Nebra, I’m going after mother. Watch over Noelle for me. Maybe go in the kitchen and ask the cook for some cocoa to calm everyone.”

“What? But Nozel-“

“I’ll be right back, just don’t follow me.”

Nozel handled Nebra their little sister, but Noelle immediately started to cry as he let her go. It broke Nozels heart, but he couldn’t take her with him and Nebra was also too young. He patted both their heads shortly, trying to ignore Noelles cries and Nebras sudden fear in her eyes and left the nursery.

He run down the stairs, almost run into a maid and reached the door of their villa. Nozel didn’t even took the time to put some outdoor shoes on, he went out immediately. It was clear as crystal that he had no time to lose. Mother needed him.

He run, hoping to stop his mother to go after HIM. The marriage was broken, it was so clear after today’s fight. But Nozel knew his mother hoped for a real happy family still. He couldn’t blame her for that, but they could be a happy family without HIM.

Nozel was out of breath when he finally reached the road. Why was the villa of his family on a hill again? Who cared about that, he needed to catch his mother!

Acier was there, on the road. The green light just turned red.

Then, there was the car.

Then a panic.

His mother fell.

Then it was blurry. And Nozel screamed, but no one heard him. There was no sound coming out of his mouth…

#Black Clover #Black Clover Fanfiction #My Writing ☘️♣️ #Black Clover Modern AU #Morning Mist & Night Traffic #Nozessa #Yamichar #Astelle #Fuelital #Nozel x Vanessa #Yami x Charlotte #Asta x Noelle #Fuegoleon x Lital #Nozel Silva #Nebra Silva #Noelle Silva #Acier Silva

[whiskeybeforesunset]

Ghost Part 3 | Joel Miller

Pairing: Joel Miller x GN!Reader

Word Count: 1.6k

Synopsis: Reader, Joel, and Ellie make up in the stables and continue their journey to Colorado. Reader has conflicting feelings about Joel rejoining the group, and is left to wonder where they stand with Joel. Slow burn, as always. 

Warnings: Gunshots/gun shooting at a target, no violence towards people or animals, Self doubt.

Author’s Note: I've now created a taglist! If you would like to be added please let me know. Hope you enjoy!

Previous Chapter , Next Chapter

___

You open your eyes to a sun-lit ceiling. Despite presumably not moving throughout the night, it was a restless sleep. As your feet meet the cold wooden floor boards, you’re forced to face your new reality. There’s no doubt in your mind Joel is already gone, probably left before sunrise. Still, you can’t stop yourself from checking his empty room, just in case. With no hint of the man’s presence, you somberly make your way downstairs to Ellie. 

You knock on the door frame altering her to your presence. When she looks up you notice the disappointment that flashes over her face before it hardens. 

“Ready?” You ask Ellie as swings her bag onto her shoulder. 

“Yep.” She answers shortly, before trudging past you and out the room. 

The brisk morning air greets you as you make your way towards Tommy and Maria’s. 

“You good?” You ask, turning to look at the girl. 

“Oh, I’m fine.” Ellie replies with an appropriate level of teenage angst. “How about you?” She says, cocking her head as she turns to you with a tight lipped smile. 

“Also fine.” You say while adjusting a strap on your bag.

“Liar.” Ellie remarks as you see Tommy waiting outside his home.

“Mornin’.” He says, meeting your eyes with an apologetic look. You give him a short nod, and Ellie doesn’t seem to respond at all. Tommy wordlessly begins to lead you.

The ambience of boots crunching on fresh snow quickly fades into the shuffling of hay and animal noises. Tommy walks towards the first pen in the stable before freezing in front of it. You’re uncertain as to why until you too pass the wall obstructing your view.

It’s Joel. The man you were certain you would never see again. Why is he here? Did he change his mind? Is he coming with you? Was what you said last night what convinced him, and if so what does that mean? His eyes linger on yours before shifting down to Ellie. You’re left speechless, but she seems to have plenty of her own to say.

“You came here to say goodbye or something?” Ellie asks while rolling her eyes.

“No,” Joel replies. “I came here to steal one of these horses and go.” You feel your heart sink at his words. Of course he hadn’t changed his mind. Right, yes. Why would he? You shouldn’t have gotten your hopes up. You clench your jaw, but otherwise conceal your emotion. 

“Well, I would’ve gave you one.” Tommy says, also confused by his brother’s presence.

“I know,” Joel says, patting the horse in front of him. “Anyways, that was 30 minutes ago and I guess…” Joel pauses, taking a step away from the horse.

“You deserve a choice,” he says to Ellie. “I still think you’d be better off with-”

“Let’s go.” Ellie cuts him off, shoving her bag into his arms. 

“Okay.” Joel replies bewildered. He now looks at you. You open your mouth to say something but find the words don’t come. 

“Well in that case, you can take Clover as well, she’s the next stall down.” You nod and head over, thankful for the out he has given you. You tune out the conversation between Joel and Tommy as you gather the tack for Clover, who had not yet been dressed for riding.

Joel calls your name, motioning for you to come outside. It’s time to head out. You help Ellie onto her horse as Joel and Tommy say their goodbyes. You smile, noticing her mood has greatly improved, before returning to your own horse. 

“There’s a place for you here… for all of you.” Tommy says. 

“Countin’ on it.” Joel says, glancing towards you and Ellie before doing so. There’s some more discussion between the two brothers, but with that you leave Jackson.

…

It was hard to not feel like a cowboy in the Old West as the three of you made your way to Colorado. Ellie warmed up to Joel quickly, but you still felt stuck. You were thankful for the thin paths preventing you from riding alongside Joel and Ellie as they gave you an excuse to remain silent for the beginning of the journey. You decide to take this time to sort through your thoughts. You certainly had a lot of them after all that’s occurred the last few days. 

You’re happy he’s still traveling with you, well with Ellie. And that’s the problem, isn’t it? It’s great he’s still here, that’s what you wanted. You just wish that his decision to stay had at least in part been based on you. However his motivations seem to have been made clear. 

You can’t be mad about it. Of course Ellie is his priority, she should be, yours too. It isn’t his fault if he doesn’t feel the same… commitment towards you that you do to him. Wherever those feelings may stem from. 

As the three of you trot along, you wonder if the man intended on confronting you about what you had said the night prior. At the very least you want to discern whether or not him staying was his way of saying he doesn’t want to deal with what he’s going through alone, his last comment towards Tommy seemed to imply that. But any conversation involving that would likely lead to a discussion about you proclaiming your… desire for him to stay, and frankly you’d rather avoid that. 

You’re drawn from your thoughts by your two companions bickering. The nice kind though, not like what you heard the night before.

“All I’m saying is, if something were to happen to you and-” Ellie starts.

“Nothing’s gonna to happen to us.” Joel quickly shuts her down.

“But if something were to, then it would be good for me to know how to shoot a gun.” You laugh at Ellie’s proposal, glad to hear her campaign to be allowed to shoot continues. 

“Ellie, we’ve talked about this.” Joel replies in a tired tone.

“Awe, come on Joel.” You say, surprising the two as it’s the first time you’ve spoken since the start of your journey. “Let the kid shoot, don’t you support her passion for her second amendment rights?” You finish with a smile, taking a chance to poke at Joel’s political beliefs. 

“Traitor.” Joel grumbles as you and Ellie laugh. Regardless of his initial dismissal of the idea, Joel eventually agrees to train Ellie to shoot the rifle in the next suitable clearing. 

…

You scrunch up your face as Ellie once again misses the target. You observe the pair from a few feet back. A fallen tree forms a makeshift shelf for the rifle to perch on, it being the only solid structure in the field of dead grass and patches of snow. 

“Wide right, you’re flinchin’.” He says in response to her frustrated sigh.

“The target’s too small.” Ellie retorts. 

“I made it bigger than I should’ve. Eject the cartridge.” Joel instructs from over her shoulder. 

“And I’m not flinching. The rifle just sucks.” She says stubbornly as she follows his instructions. 

“Okay give it.” Joel says, motioning for her to give him the gun. 

“Doesn’t aim right,” He gives her a hum in response. “You’ll see!” She says pulling out her binoculars.

“Don’t watch the target, watch him.” You interject. She pouts a bit, but sets them down. Joel gives you a nod of acknowledgement before continuing. Lowering his eye to the scope, his face steals in focus. 

“Deep breath in slow breath out…” He says, broad shoulders rising and sinking. 

“You squeeze the trigger like you love it.” The breeze blows through his hair, god he’s gorgeous. You feel your heartbeat quicken. He looks like a model out of some hunting magazine. A totally platonic thought, you chide yourself as Ellie gives him a sarcastic hum in response.

“Gentle… steady… nice and slow.” He says in that oh-so-alluring southern drawl. You find yourself adjusting your collar despite the chilly weather. 

“You gonna shoot this thing or get it pregnant?” Ellie says in a playfully tone. You laugh loudly, perhaps a bit too loud as Joel glares at the two of you. 

“It isn’t going to work,” Ellie says as he puts his head back down. “It doesn’t aim right.”

A gunshot nearly cuts her off and she stands there stunted, scrambling for the binoculars.

“You dick.” Ellie remarks with a grin on her face as she looks at what can only be described as a perfect shot. Joel smiles smugly and gives her a shrug. 

You do your best to calm your breathing and reduce the flush on your face as the other two pack up, target practice being decidedly over. You can’t help but wonder what had changed to draw this sort of reaction out of you. It’s not as though you’ve never seen Joel shoot and shoot very well before. You’ve known him for years, why is this happening now? 

As you ask yourself that question, you realize the answer is right in front of you as he laughs, pointing out Ellie’s missed shots. It’s because of her, he’s able to smile, to laugh, to heal. And, if you’re being honest with yourself, seeing him be such a good father figure to her isn’t unattractive. 

You smile as you pick up your bag and head back over to the horses. Regardless of whether or not these feelings you have amount to anything, you’re glad you agreed to join Joel on this job. Even if it may have… complicated things.

___

If you would like to be added to the taglist, lmk!

Taglist:

@sarahhxx03

#joel miller fic #joel miller x reader #joel miller #joel miller x gender neutral reader #joel miller x gn!reader #joel miller x m!reader #joel miller x male reader #joel miller x masc!reader #pedro pascal #pedro pascal x female reader #joel miller x fem reader #joel miller x female reader #joel miller x f!reader #pedro pascal x gn reader #pedro pascal x reader #TLOU fic #joel miller fanfic #joel miller tlou #reader insert #gender neutral post #gender neutral fic #gender neutral reader insert

[faeryarchives]

cause you're having a bad day

alternate title: what will they do after witnessing you breaking down due to your plans failing and things going out of hand through out the bad day you are having?

⚘ the panicking type; very flustered and near to tears theirselves. their first thought would go on how to calm you down because they didn't expect you to burst out in tears. would immediately run to the nearest food stand to buy you food or drinks to calm down while almost tripping over air holding your ice cream + many hand holding, hugs and head pats 🥺 their effort made you feel a little better.

— deuce spade, riddle roseheart, jack howl, kalim al asim, idia shroud, sebek zigvolt

⚘ the listener and observant type; already expected that you were having a bad day seeing your mood beingdown the whole day. lets you cry and rant on their shoulder before giving you words of encouragement causing you to cry again 😭 would absolutely give a hand in doing your task so that you can get enough rest aka beauty sleep and treat/cook you your favorite meal because after all you also deserve to relax and have time for yourself

— trey clover, jade leech, jamil viper, vil schoenheit, rook hunt

⚘ the parent type; worried like very worried especially when they saw tears running down your cheeks uncontrollably, did someone said something mean to you? who, what and where? after learning the reason why, be prepared in being showered by different kinds of gifts, affection and praises from them until finally seeing that genuine smile and hearing your boisterous laughter that they love again

— cater diamond, ruggie bucchi, azul ashengrotto, malleus draconia, lilia vanrouge

⚘ the ones who will do anything just to make you laugh type; they are willing to give up on making you eat their favorite food + willing to be a clown just to see you smile again. would absolutely take you out and have fun in the nearby amusement park or makes you try out different things you haven't tried out before and the excitement makes your bad day goes away

— ace trappola, floyd leech, epel felmier

⚘ the cuddler; the first thing they would do is to open their arms for you to jump in and lay there rambling about how your plans for today didn't go well + would absolutely wrapped you in their hoodie which you really love and probably let you choose the movie you two would watch while eating your favorite ice cream and snacks they bought for you. they might not find the right words to comfort you but they will show it through their actions

— leona kingscholar, silver

I FELL ASLEEP WHILE WRITING THIS JFGHDK HAPPY BIRTHDAY KALIM MY BELOVED 🥺💜 should i make other fics like this its kinda fun to write too 👀

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twisted wonderland imagines #twisted wonderland scenarios #twisted wonderland headcanons #twst imagines #faeryarchives #ace trappola x reader #deuce spade x reader #aerie talks #twst scenarios #trey clover x reader #cater diamond x reader #heartslabyul #leona kingscholar x reader #ruggie bucchi x reader #jack howl x reader #savanaclaw #floyd leech x reader #floyd leech #jade leech #jade leech x reader #azul ashengrotto #azul ashengrotto x reader #octavinelle #kalim al asim x reader #jamil viper x reader #vil schoenheit x reader #epel felmier x reader #idia shroud x reader

[linawritestwst]

Headcanons for Trey, Jamil, and Silver with a reader/SO that is a good listener please? I think these three are used to listening to other people talk, so it'd be interesting to see how they'd interact with someone who wants them to talk instead. Thank you if you do this!

trey, jamil and silver x s/o who is a good listener headcanons (gn!reader)

trey clover.

♡ yeah, this guy is used to helping others, listening to them and simply supporting them as much as he can. and he doesn't mind! he's glad that he can do something good for these students, because he misses taking care of his siblings, haha. so dating someone like you, who is such a good listener and who genuinely wants to know more about trey, how his day went and what he's thinking about.. he has no idea how to react to that, it's a whole new experience for him.

♡ he even finds it surprising. why would you want to listen to him talk about something as boring as what he did during the day? he also doesn't want to annoy you and he doesn't want to sound like he's complaining, don't get him wrong, he loves being a vice dorm leader! and it feels so weird to just.. talk to you about all these things. trey doesn't understand why you find it so interesting, but he has to admit that looking at you and seeing just how much you're enjoying this.. it does make him feel kinda warm, haha.

♡ he slowly starts opening up to you more and whenever he feels a bit tired, he remembers that he can talk to you later and he already starts feeling better. he won't tell you all of it, because he doesn't want to worry you, but he might say something like "oh, you know, my underclassmen are being their usual selves again, haha". but of course, you will ask him for more details, because you want to help him, even someone like trey needs someone who can listen to his troubles- wait, no, he especially needs it. it must be tiring to help and take care of everyone but yourself.

jamil viper.

♡ .. why are you doing this, y/n. he's got it worse than the other two, he doesn't understand you at all, why would you even want him to talk more? he doubts that you'd find him that interesting and also.. well, he's not used to talking about his problems. it's not that he doesn't like talking about them, he would LOVE to do it, but it probably wouldn't be right for him as the scarabia vice dorm leader and someone who's so close to kalim the source of his problems. however, you assure him that it's 100% okay for him to talk about it, it can actually help him feel better too! and you want to know more about him and what he has to deal with because you love him! do you need any other reason for that?

♡ it takes a lot of time for him to get used to it, but eventually, he starts being a bit more honest about his problems. at first it's something simple like ".. i have to help with another party today", but then jamil starts talking more and more and he can feel his negative emotions slowly leaving him, because he finally got the courage to open up. he always apologizes to you for ranting, but you say that you love listening to him talk about that because it helps you understand him better and you want to know how you can support him! you don't know that you're already supporting him the best you can and he's so thankful to you.

♡ however, jamil can't just be the only one talking about what made him angry during the day. he wants to understand you better as much as you want to understand him (and now he also knows more about himself thanks to you and these "therapy sessions", haha) and he wants to give you the same love and support that you gave him. maybe even more, because you definitely deserve it. you never interrupt him when he talks, you always look at him like he's telling you the most interesting story you've ever heard and you always know what to say and even if you don't know, you can just give jamil a tight hug so that he knows that you'll always be there for him. he loves you so much and he starts talking more about it too.

silver.

♡ silver doesn't really talk much, he's just that kind of person, but he really likes listening to you talk about your day, your interests, anything, really. please forgive him for falling asleep when you talk though, he can't control it and he always feels guilty because of it, he wants to hear every word that you say because you're that important to him and he wants to know more about you. you never get mad at him and you patiently repeat what you just said. you never get tired of talking to silver anyway. but.. you'd also love to listen to him talk as well.

♡ silver gets so confused when he sees how interested you are in whatever he's talking about at the moment. like.. are you sure you want to listen to him talk about his knight training? do you really want to know more about his childhood and his father? you nod. "yeah! i love you, silver, and listening to you like this is just a way for me to show my love for you" silver doesn't get it at first, but then he remembers how much he loves to do the exact same thing for you.. yes, he understands it now.

♡ of course, it means that he can easily fall asleep even when he's the one talking. and when that happens, you just smile and cover him with a blanket. again, you're not mad at him at all, you actually find it kinda cute. "thank you for letting me get to know you better, silver. i hope i will hear you talk even more in the future. you're such a kind and interesting person and i'd love to hear your thoughts more often. also i just really like your voice, hehe~" silver didn't hear you say that, but you don't have to worry about him, he's definitely gonna have the best dreams after that.

#twisted wonderland #disney twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland imagines #twst imagines #twst headcanons #twst x reader #trey clover #trey clover x reader #jamil viper #jamil viper x reader #twst silver #silver x reader

[thoughtfullyrainynightmare]

Hi there, Laura! Hope you are doing well and enjoying the holiday season. You don't have answer this ask, but after reading your thoughts on the new chapter, I just wanted to share that you're not alone in feeling frustrated with the BC manga right now. I have certainly been feeling the same way myself. I actually took a break from it for a while earlier this year (still kept up with the spoilers & such but didn't read week to week) partially due to my poor health and mostly because I was feeling frustrated & hoping it would keep my attention better if/when the pacing evened out. Unfortunately, the pacing issues seem to be persisting. Being a bit of a hobbyist writer myself I recognize that it can be very difficult to keep a consistent pace throughout a story especially a very long one so I try to be forgiving of that in works, especially when they are ongoing & published serially (like a manga). I think in this particular case there is just a big contrast between the pacing of previous arcs (i.e. Elf Reincarnation) and this one, and the added pressure of it being the final arc which draws more attention to the pacing here.

I liked what you said in an answer to another ask about how not every series can have "ups" all the time. I absolutely agree and would even go so far as to say that one of the things that was so special about BC and what I loved about it so much was how Tabata filled those downtimes and slower paced moments with really compelling characters & their dynamics with one another. And that's really what I feel I have been missing from the series lately. It sometimes feels like it's moving so quickly that all of these wonderful characters and storylines I came to love as the story unfolded have had to be pushed aside in favor of these epic battle sequences. They're great, of course, but it's not really why I've connected with this story and stuck with it for so long. But I realize that the target audience (at least) is probably connecting with this series for the epic adventure story and battle sequences. My cousin (who recommended BC to me in the first place), for instance, is 100% there for the epic battle sequences and doesn't care all that much about the character development and the little side people (i.e. he's been into BC far longer than I have and I've had to remind him multiple times who Langris even is lol. Needless to say, he'd be shocked to know I've written thousands upon thousands of words just about him and very few words about any battles). I love my cousin & will forever be grateful that he introduced me to such an incredible story that we both adore, but there is no denying that we love it for completely different reasons. And after reading what you shared about your frustrations, I wondered if perhaps you are a little more like me and missing those smaller character interactions and worrying that all these wonderful characters (whether with big roles or small roles in the story) that made BC so special will get their arcs wrapped up in a satisfying way.

When a story starts to move this quickly from one fight sequence to the next in the final battle, it can start to feel like all the characters' intrapersonal conflicts are just getting swept up into the fray, and for a story like BC that always did such an incredible job of giving *every* character their own arc, motivations, and really their own "moment"--it can feel a bit worrying, disappointing, and, yes, frustrating to feel like they aren't getting their moments when they really matter and when it's their last chance to get them. Yes, this is the end of the story of Black Clover but what's so special about the story of Black Clover is that it's not only Asta's story or Yuno's story...it's *everyone's* story. There are B-plots, C-plots, D-plots, all the way to Z-plots. Each and every one of these subplots--these stories and the characters they affect--deserves an ending, and I think there is frustration that sets in in knowing that unless the pacing of the story as it is now drastically changes there will not be room for closure for all (and possibly even most) of these subplots and supporting characters that we've come to know, love, & appreciate.

All of that said, it's still a work in progress. I don't pretend to know what Tabata has planned & I'll reserve judgment until the end. Truthfully, no matter how it ends I will be forever grateful for a wonderful story & amazing characters that I really connected with. I personally don't feel that what has been written is bad, but I will admit constructively that I do feel a little disappointed and am finding it harder to keep my interest with it as time goes on. To me, with these rushed battle sequences, it's almost like it's losing some of that magic (no pun intended) that made it special and different from every other battle epic shounen. I believe that in what it set out to do as a battle epic, it has succeeded and continues to succeed even now as it nears its conclusion, but it went above & beyond that in what it did with its characters and that's where it feels to be falling a little short recently. But again, I'll admit, I think that has more to do with the fact I'm the oddball that was never really there for the battles in the first place, so I'm not sure I can really speak to the "good" or "bad" of the writing, since in a way I feel like it's not being written for *me* because I'm not the target audience, if that makes sense?

I was curious of your thoughts on this (and hope my ramblings weren't too incoherent) so I thought I'd send an ask in case you wanted to weigh in. But please don't feel obligated. Thank you & Cheers, dear!! 💖

Hiya Acacia! I hope that you're well too!!

Tbh, I hadn't thought about BC being a "battle anime" per se, because though there were a lot of battles in the beginning, it was well balanced with the prose, and the battles advanced the plot. (Granted that the battles do advance the plot as well, but they feel relatively meaningless if there's no connection from the reader to the story itself on an emotional level. In my opinion) But we have very similar thoughts about the issue with pacing indeed. To me, it almost feels like Tabs deemed all the necessary characterization to be done, and now he'll just cut to the chase and "hack & slash". Or then, like any writer, he has scenes where he just really wants to get to. And the pacing suffers because of it.

If it was just a few chapters of battles, like... let's say 5 in a row in between some proper character interactions and story arcs where we can learn about the world and the lore, then I wouldn't mind. But because it feels like we've gotten a year of nothing but battle battle battle, it got to me. Luckily there's fanfic and other lil' projects in the meantime to keep one entertained.

I also didn't think about what exactly is the target audience here, because the story started as more character and story centric with some battle here and there, I probably thought the story to be targeted to people who enjoy action and adventure, which would include more than just fights.

But also, maybe this is like the Royal Knights arc (which I forget half the time). That was also very battle centric, but it was building up to something more.

Now, I was lucky enough to be able to fast forward the Royal Knights arc, by going as far as to skip some episodes because it didn't appeal to me and seemed to have minimal contribution to the plot as a whole in my opinion, but now I'm experiencing it in real time so to say.

This doesn't mean that I would dislike BC. I'm not going to say that "because of this BC is bad", because it's not. It's going through a slow season.

I certainly can't blame you for taking a break. I'm on a semi-break myself due to ... well, school. I might have a little more time next semester, but I can't say for sure, because the courses of next semester are supposed to be the toughest ones during the first 4 years. So, I'll be around, but probably not as vocal. And I suppose I'll feel less like I'd need to stay on top of the plot on a weekly basis, because Tabs has moved to the once every 6 months type of an arrangement.

And there has to be more than 2 chapters still to come

Source

These don't even include chapter 369's MagLuck VS. Lucius clone

This short text gives hope of at least 5 chapters still to come, all probably long ones. However, I want to believe that since they're "major fights" in which the MagLuck team up wasn't counted (meaning that chapter 369's battle isn't considered as "major"), these 4 battles will probably take more than 1 battle/chapter.

Also.... when you look at the colour page, you see at least five things:

Licita, William, Ichika, Nacht and Adrammelech

Nacht is probably going to tie in on the Yami VS. Morgen battle, and Ichika will meet up with her brother (dare I speculate a team up as well), with a high potential for some sibling reconciliation, because the ground work for it has been set.

Adra is the big question mark, because what exactly are they up to, is up for a debate. But because they are there, and Tabs hasn't placed people on coloured pages without a reason until now, there's potential for something more.

However, the thing that draws attention most, to me, as someone who wants more lore and plot, are Lichita and William.

The image of Lichita looks like it's from a memory, and considering how Asta's grimoire, with Liebe inside, somehow wound up to the grimoire tower, behind a brick on the outer wall, after Lichita died, gives good reason to wish for a flash back, maybe even a small story that takes place in the past. Not just in memories, because I doubt that Liebe can actually remember events of the grimoire in that manner.

And William's picture looks like it's a memory, to me, as well. For now, we're under the impression that William is... gathering himself after, maybe, losing a limb (we've been wrong about these before with Mereo, so I'm not saying that he actually has lost one), but he might feel like he needs to still atone himself somehow. Maybe he's reminiscing to something in his past, after meeting with Julius. That would be plot relevant in more ways than one, and could explain why Will is there, looking so solemn.

So, to me, after some contemplation, I think that we're going to mimic the elf arc, and the Final Arc is only now starting with chapter 370. Things up until now have just been the "Royal Knights Arc" of the Final Arc.

Idk, that's just what I think atm

#black clover #black clover manga #acacia #space brothers afficianado #lovely mutuals #Oh! and I will answer your ask game asks! #I've just been caught up with holiday season stuff ^^'

[originalwinnercheesecake]

Palisman headcannons 2: Because I still Think about These Little Guys

There are 8 palismans in this picture. Only one of them (Flapjack) found a good home in hunting Palismans. They all deserve good homes. Staring at them now though I can think of 7 good witches who don’t have palismans yet and who I could see bonding to these little guys

the little bell sprout thing: Pre-”Hunting Palisman” I was sure that this was going to be Willow’s palisman, simply because it was a plant. But when the Bat Queen explained how palisman bond to witches, and we saw Clover go to Willow, and  it made a lot of sense. So who would connect with this little plant? Darius! He doesn’t have a palisman, and might not want an animal one since animals like to run around, tear up things, and make a mess. But a plant palisman wouldn’t do that. This little plant probably just wants a nice sunny place to relax and look beautiful; just like Darius

Bell Goose: Originally thought this would be Gus’s (silly and loud) but his little Chameleon is a much better fit for him, an birds are a Clawthorne thing. So who is a Clawthorne (or will be one once they marry their love) who does not have a plaisman? Also, who cares about music and being heard enough to form a tight bond with a bird that carries around a musical instrument. I cannot think of a better bird for Raine Whispers. 

Spider Pig: Spider Pig is an unusual animal, part livestock part creepy crawly, and also they appear to be the most beat up of these poor palisman. So they might need special care for their scars and helping them trust again. Livestock, Creepy crawlies, and animals that have been scarred are all animal types we have seen Eberwolf work with. Plus Eberwolf is small and so is Spider Pig so that works because Eber would have an easier time carrying and running around with the little critter.

Mew Cat: So I was right in my guess that Amity’s palisman would be a cat. Wrong in that instead of her adopting Mew Cat she either adopted or carved Ghost at a later time. Ghost and her get along well though, and given Mew Cat’s injuries they probably need someone with a bit more experience taking care of frightened people, and is a little more used to mystery and unpredictability, becaue those elements will inevitably come with it. That can still be a Blight though. Emira Blight doesn’t have a palisman yet. Emira come get Mew Cat

Spiky Porcupine Dog thing (updated): When I first saw this thing I thought of Mattholomule, but I have been thinking about it more and more and I think he might be better match for Edric Blight. My reasons are 1.) I am kinda giving the Blight children bigger paliceman because they seem to deal with some...pretty high-maintenance magic. This will be particlarly true for Edric who is now taking 3 complicayed track tracks. 2.) The more I look at spikes the more I see the same hyper curiosity I see in Ed. Imagine Spike having roles in illusionary shows, hearding other beasts, and running to get potion ingrediance or Emia and Amity when Ed gets a really foolish idea. In conclusion Spike goes to Ed because they could make a dream team.

little hermit crab thing (updated): At first I was going to give this funny little guy to Edric... But after 1.) Learning a bit more about Hermit crabs, and 2.) thinking more about bonds and metaphors I have decided this little guy would actually be better for Mattholomule. Mattholomule’s whole arc is how his magic wasn’t strong at first, he was treated badly for that at his old school, then he came to Hexside and tried to do the same to others, only to realize becoming his bullies didn’t work and finally deciding to be better. Something like that on the Physical scale probably happened to this little Hermit crab. I could see Matty fining it, lettting it crawl on his arm and saying to it “You were a loser in your old life weren’t you? It’s okay so was I, but I am improving”. Then a bond is struck.... Also Hermy would make a really cute playmate for Emmy and the next one.

I have no idea what the purple thing is: I am going to headcannon that Steve adopts it. Steve gets sad when he recounts how Belos confiscated palisman from recruits for the Emperor’s coven. Some people picked up on this and pointed out how it sounds like he may have once had a palisman buddy before, but he was tricked/forced to give it to Belos who later killed it. Steve has been changing though (he is great now) and would no doubt do a better job of keeping a new one safe this time around.

Look I know we are probably do not have time to see any of these witches get palisman, and will most likely never see any of these orphan palisman again. But these little palisman deserve good homes and if Disney cutting the owl house short means Dana won’t have time to do it, then I am going to here. She has said she likes how creative and fun fans ideas can be, so I am going to take that as permission. All these parings happen until the show proves me other wise

#The owl house #toh #Palisman #TOH darius #raine whisper #Raeda #Ebberwolf #mattholomule #toh matt #toh Steve #Matt and Steve are half brothers #Emira blight #Edric blight #Blight twins #Blight kids #bat queen #palisman adoption day #hunting palismans #Gus porter #Willow park #Clawthorne's #toh Flapjack #toh hunter #eberwolf

[mirigold]

Hey hey hey you know I used to hate Langris Vaude with a burning passion but then I started rewatching black clover multiple times and a lot of the episodes I rewatched had Langris in them and I started loving him sm and like

What're you supposed to when at the start you and your brother are close and you love him, he's someone you're comfortable enough to lay beside when days are rough (referencing to that scene of them as kids dozing off together). But then suddenly your parents are grooming you into hating him and so you start insulting him because you're being manipulated into knowing you're the best and he doesn't fight back at all so wow your parents must be right. Then as you grow older your parents telling you that you're the best doesn't seem like a truth anymore but more like a mantra they're repeating because you have to be the best and so you start feeling pressured and then your brother suddenly leaves your house and probably doesn't communicate with you much which is probably your fault because you grew up bullying him anyways but you're still hurt because he fucking left you alone. And then you enter the knights and go into the golden dawn because it's rising to the top ranks and your parents still have those expectations that are becoming even more suffocation every time you hear it and you just delude yourself into thinking that you really are the best and you strive to be just that because if you aren't the golden child then what the fuck else are you? What else is your worth? You've got nothing else. You hate your brother because he doesn't have to be the golden child to be something— he was loved by the maids and he's loved by that godforsaken squad, which does in fact still mean something despite how shitty that squad is.

I'm not excusing Langris' behaviour— he's a noble and the system/hierarchy of clover taught him that there was no problem with the way he acted. Actually, Langris got lucky that someone managed to knock him onto a better track (I mean, he's still haughty and arrogant but he's starting to get better) while he's still a young 20 yr old. But if you're raised just to be the 'better kid', and you've been branded with the image of the amazing golden child ever since, it has a high possibility of becoming your main trait. It's all people ever see you as, and in Clover, people seeing you and the attention you get mean power. So he'd lose all that if he wasn't the best. For finral, it's okay if he wasn't the best because he was a people person. He's ridiculed yeah but he's able to connect with people in a way Langris never really learned how to growing up.

Anyways I love the Vaude siblings and I wanna see more of them. I'll make a separate post on finral and then another post for their dynamic because they each deserve their own spotlight.

#langris vaude #black clover langris

[sssn-neptune-vasilias]

RWBY RWDE/Discourse Bingo

What's up, I know I've been basically dead for months besides RTX but I'm back to cause general chaos in the FNDM again. My first act? RWDE Bingo.

I had the idea for this last night after looking through Reddit (I know) and seeing that a lot of the FNDM still for some reason think that RWDE is a hivemind intelligence that all think the same exact things and agree with each other on everything. So I made this bingo board for everyone to have fun with! These are some of the RWDE topics and discourse I can remember from my long, long, tenure in the FNDM, and I have more, but this is round 1. If you think of any discourse or RWDE topics outside of this one, shoot me an ask or post it in the tags so I can do some more!

See which ones you agree with and talk about it if you want! Show your friends. Show your followers. Get out there and be the RWDEst bastards you can be! If- somehow- everyone in RWDE all pick the exact some discourse and don't pick the exact same ones, then I'll take back everything I ever said about RWDE not being a hivemind and give my capacity for free thinking up to the collective.

Gonna explain what each topic is under the read more considering a lot of these are old as dirt and some are a little confusing and probably could've been worded better had I not had limited space on the board. Some of them I don't agree with, but I'm still gonna do my best to explain them as unbiasedly as I can because I'm not a poopoo baby.

"Blake's slap was abusive." This one was about her slapping Sun during v4. People really didn't like that, especially considering that one of the scenes from the same episode was Jacques using physical violence against Weiss in an abusive manner. There are other conversation topics of Blake being abusive as well, but let's keep this one about the slap specifically, alright?

"Taiyang's arm joke." Remember that? Yeah a LOT of people thought Taiyang was horrible, no good, very bad father because he'd basically just made fun of Yang's brand new disability and trauma.

"Adam's change in characterization." Some people believe that Adam's characterization changed somewhere during season 3. That he went from being a ruthless freedom fighter to a genocidal maniac and jilted incel mad that his girlfriend left him.

"Qrow's Innkeeper story." People thought that story about the Innkeeper's skirt was super sexist and inappropriate for an uncle to tell his nieces.

"Jaune in a dress was a transphobic joke." This one's kinda self-explanatory. People thought that everyone laughing at Jaune wearing a dress was transphobic.

"Racism subplot is poorly handled." Again, kinda self-explanatory. Anything from Adam using his faction of TWF to join Cinder and Salem to Ghira being a bad leader to the story suddenly becoming about classism instead of racism to Robyn not being a fox Faunus, etc.

"Fair Game was queerbaiting/fridging gays." Some people thought Fair Game was the beginning of a budding romance and were sent back into The 100 CW hell when Clover got a sword through his torso.

"Snowbird is bad because Qrow is old." If you weren't around for season 3 you missed all the Snowbird shippers going feral about two attractive and of age characters finally sharing some screentime. You also missed some people being really weirded out by said Snowbird shippers because Qrow's in his mid to late 40's and Winter's in her late 20's.

"Jaune harassing Weiss s1&2." Did you think that Jaune flirting with Weiss back then was triggering? There was a ton of discourse about it and how Miles was basically using his character insert to harass one of the main characters and twist the framing of his harassment in a positive light.

"Sun is a stalker." Remember when Blake saw that robed dude following her and it was Sun? Who'd been following her for a few months? Yeah people were super squicked out about that and called him a stalker.

"Salem was right..." Basically the Gods were garbage entities anyway and deserved to get shit on. Salem was right to try, even if it got humanity 1.0 nuked.

"Rhodes deserved it." Y'all are probably like "who the hell is Rhodes?" That guy that trained Cinder! Yeah, remember that flashback scene? People think that Rhodes deserved to get skewered because he didn't actually do anything to try to save Cinder. He knew she was a slave working at the hotel and did nothing to save her and instead just told her to wait until she was 17 to join a Huntsman Academy.

"Jaune's screentime." Kinda self-explanatory. People thought Jaune took up too much screentime in the early volumes, to the point he rivaled most of team RWBY and had more lines than some of them combined. His plots also derailed the show because the bullying arc and the prom arc really had nothing to do with Salem or Ozpin or the relics or maidens, and that time could've been better spent doing more worldbuilding.

"Being forced to pick a side..." This one's almost entirely exclusive to the Tumblrsphere, but is this something you've felt pressured to do by any part of the FNDM? Have you been told you were biphobic for shipping Bumbleby/lesbophobic for shipping Black Sun? If not, count yourself lucky because you've avoided a LOT of bullshit.

"Waiting too long for LGBT rep." Do you feel that RT kept us waiting way too long for any meaningful representation? Especially considering what was promised to the FNDM early on in interviews with the CRWBY?

"Ren was an aroace bait&switch." People felt that Ren was aroace during the early volumes- especially after that "Please do nothing to the cook" apron scene- and were very frustrated when Ren did start showing romantic feelings for Nora.

"Amber's death was June's fault." Remember when Ozpin told Jaune to guard the door? And then he got distracted because his girlfriend got put in a box next to a comatose woman in another box? And then that comatose woman got an arrow through the chest because his back was turned? Do you think that was his fault?

"Rosegarden is bad because of Ozpin." Some people feel that Rosegarden is squicky because Ozpin's consciousness is in there and he's like seventy-million years old and Ruby's barely 17.

"Eddy's Freezerburn Tweet..." This one was over on Twitter. Eddy QRT'd a Tweet about "couples that would absolutely get a divorce" with "Freezerburn" and people were very angry about that and thought he was super unprofessional. Here's the link.

"Ironwood's s8 characterization..." Did you think that Ironwood's descent into a mustache twirling villain came out of nowhere? Did you think that it made no real sense to villainize Ironwood in the first place when Salem and Monstra and an army of Grimm were already outside Mantle and Cinder and her team were already inside Atlas? Did you think that that tidbit about his Semblance Mettle potentially clouding his judgement just to never be shown it was really badly handled? This one's kinda broad on purpose.

"RWBY/JNPR's stubbornness..." Some people think that Atlas being destroyed could've been prevented had our main characters just went along with Ironwood's plan.

"Weiss pointing Myrtenaster at Whitley." Did you think that Weiss doing that was totally out of line? That a soldier pointing a weapon at a civilian is totally unjustified? That siblings shouldn't ever threaten one another with violence at all?

"Blake running away was cowardly." Blake got a sword through her stomach, then was told by Adam that he'd destroy everything she ever loved. Then he dismembered Yang. Then, instead of even warning RW_Y about the threat, she just... left? Ran away? Even if you think her fear was justified, do you think it was cowardly to run without so much as a goodbye?

"Qrow is Ruby's father." Maybe you've seen this HC before, maybe you haven't. But people think that Qrow might be Ruby's real father. If you missed the discourse that his HC first brought about during v3 then I truly envy you, but if you remember the essay length dissertations people were writing about how mean and wrong and abusive that HC is, then suffer together with me.

"Bumbleby is abusive." You know all those weird parallels they keep emphasizing between Blake and Raven (how quick they are to abandon their friends, etc.), and Yang and Adam (how quick they are to lash out in anger, etc.)? You know how they're like, consistently highlighted in the show but not really addressed? But the ship is still portrayed as a positive one? Do you think Bumbleby's actually abusive?

#RWBY #RWDE #FNDM #Ruby Rose #Weiss Schnee #Blake Belladonna #Yang Xiao Long

[lyranova]

If you're still take the writer ask game, how about 3. 13 and 23 💘

Hiya Vilandel, I hope you’re doing well! Yep I’m still accepting asks for this ask game so no worries 😁! I hope you enjoy~!

3 that encompasses my style

I…I actually have no idea what my style is to be honest…I just kind of write 😅. But I have been told that I write great dialogue and sentences that have a bit of a punch (dynamic sentences maybe?). These two small little sentences are from “Children of the Future: Shadows of the Past” Chapter 11!

“ Not a chance, I’m going to stay right here and help you,” Neva told him seriously as she pulled her grimoire out and held it at her side. “ I need my husband, our children need their father, and this kingdom needs its King. This place is our home, and I’ll be damned if I let a few devils take it from us.” She added, making Yuno sigh, why was this woman so stubborn at the worst of times?!

As he opened his mouth to argue, suddenly a hundred or so spells suddenly came flying at the Castle wall, making everyone duck, shout, and use their defensive spells to try to block the onslaught. Yuno quickly pulled his wife down behind the wall and used his wind magic to try his best to shield them from as many spells as he could.

“ I’m not arguing, Neva! This isn’t a request, this is an order from your former Captain and King! You will leave and take the kids with you, and if you don’t leave willingly I’ll have Ralph drag you there, do you understand?!” Yuno shouted, his voice angry and serious, he rarely raised his voice at Neva. But when he did, that meant he was no longer arguing, and that she either listened to him and did as he said, or he would make her listen.

“ Sheesh. You could at least give me a chance to attack!” The devil shouted as they tried to catch their breath, and Yuno, without saying a word, walked towards them.

“ H-Hey! Don’t you want to know why we’re here at least?!” They shouted as they tried to sit up, but Yuno walked up to them and pushed them back down with his boot.

“ I already know everything I need to know. You attacked my home, attacked my people, and attacked me and my family. That’s all I need to know.” He told the devil coldly, and he raised his halberd. But just before he could deal the final blow he felt another presence, and quickly turned to use the Spirit of Notos to block an oncoming spell.

13 that helped me understand a character better

Oof this is a hard one, but I’d have to go with this scene from “Children of the Future” chapter 25! It made me understand Yami a bit better and his feelings towards Charlotte. Because while he is oblivious to her feelings, I don’t think thats the only reason why he hasn’t reciporcated her feelings yet!

“ Do you like mom?” She asked suddenly, taking Yami back a bit. He nearly smirked, she was trying to change the subject and get his attention off of her and Alistar. But as he thought about it, maybe if he told her how he felt about Charlotte, maybe it would help clear her confusion on her feelings.

“ I do, I like her a lot.” He admitted softly, this was probably the second time he had admitted it out loud and the first admitting it to someone other than himself.

“ Then why aren’t you two dating yet? Everyone knows mom likes you, and now I know you like her, so why aren’t you two together?”

“ Because,” Yami paused for a moment. “ Because I’m not good enough for her yet.” He watched as his ‘daughter’ frowned in confusion and he sighed before rubbing the back of his head.

“ Your mom, I’m not good enough for her yet. She deserves someone like her, a noble from clover, instead of someone like me.” Yami explained, Hikari walked over to him.

“ But if you two don’t get together then me, Hana, and Einar won’t exist!” Hikari argued, Yami smiled softly at her and gently placed a hand on top of her head.

“ Even someone like me knows that kid, you existing and being here right now gives me hope that one day I will be good enough for the Prickly Princess. But how I am right now, is nowhere near good enough for that amazing woman.” Yami told her gently, he ruffled his ‘daughters’ hair before looking behind her as Alistar made a grunting noise.

23 that was inspired by a work from another medium (music, visual art, dance, etc.)

Oh I have waaayy to many of these; like, i could make an entire masterlist of oneshots that were written based off a song or a dance! But for this, I’m actually going to use a scene from “A Colorful Spring” that was inspired from a scene in a Kdrama called “Touch Your Heart”!

As Klaus talked about their next exams, which were still weeks away, Yuno’s mind couldn’t help but wander. Earlier Neva said she liked the glances, the touches, and that sort of thing. So he silently wondered what else she would like. He blinked a bit as he noticed her watching him before turning towards Klaus again, he tilted his head in thought as a sneaky idea popped into his head.

When Neva turned back to look at him Yuno looked her dead in the eye and winked as slyly as he could. Neva’s eyes widened in surprise, they didn’t usually do things like that around Klaus and Mimosa as they were the most likely to pick up on them. She watched as he did it again, this time with a small smirk, Neva shook her head. Two could play at that game.

Neva waited until Yuno finished writing down some notes and when he looked back up, she began to wink back at him. She watched with slight joy as he tried his best to suppress a smile, so she continued to wink at him until.

“ Neva, are you ok?” Mimosa asked with slight concern, Neva turned to look at her friend as she tried to come up with a good lie.

“ Oh I’m fine. I just have an eyelash in my eye.” Neva said with a sheepish laugh, Klaus immediately jumped up.

“ I have some eyedrops in my bathroom. I'll go get them!” Klaus shouted as he ran off to his bathroom, Neva continued to try and play it off but Mimosa wasn’t having any of it.

Klaus came back with the eyedrops and for the next few minutes he and Mimosa went back and forth on who was going to put them in or if it’d be better to try and get the eyelash out with a piece of tissue first.

As this was all going on Yuno was silently chuckling, he couldn’t believe the situation Neva had gotten herself into. What started out as playful and silly flirting has now exploded into a medical emergency. He started to chuckle even more as Neva glared daggers at him. Finally they decided to just put the eyedrops in, afterwards Neva continued to just glare at him while mouthing the words ‘your fault’ and ‘you started it’.

#asks #vilandel #my lovely mutuals #writing ask game #children of the future #children of the future shadows of the past #a colorful spring #black clover

[dreamwritesimagines]

Since Lottie is Cherie coded, I would like to request a HC where Anthony is lowkey crushing on her but she's just too fucking oblivious because she's nice to everyone and he's Ben's brother! Of course I like him! I like Eloise and Colin as well!

So Anthony is kinda dying inside each time Whistledown describes her as a possible match for Benedict, but he refuses to ask his younger brother about it because No One Must Know He Has Feelings Ever, so he's just as confused as Clover while Benedict silently enjoys watching him squirm when Lottie is always around or Benedict goes to her place, or they immediately go out to promenade together and Holy shit he cannot do this another year.

Also imagine him snapping and telling Benedict to get his shit together when Clover is around and he thinks it hurts her feelings.

"You are a gentleman and a Bridgerton, begin acting like it Benedict."

"What on earth are you talking about?"

"Charlotte" He's the only Bridgerton who calls her that, "you may carry on with your Ice Queen as you wish, but Charlotte is a good girl and deserves better than this humiliating display. If you've any honor you'll let her down gently and allow her to find a different match for herself."

"Oh, any suggestions?"

Just, Anthony being in love with his brother's best friend and she not even realizing it!!

ANON MY BELOVED I AM HUGGING YOU RESPECTFULLY-

This! THIS!

I have so so many ideas about this and I cannot thank you enough, I AM SO INSPIRED! 😍😍 This is such an amazing idea aaaaaa ILY!😍

I'm putting it under a read more because it will be loooong 😁❤️

Okay okay so first of all, I didn't even know I could ship them but I'm shipping them right now 😍

So Lottie would be absolutely clueless about Anthony's feelings for her for sure! 😂 I think only Benedict would see a glance here and there and would immediately ask him and Anthony would shut that down immediately, it's Lottie, they basically all grew up together so what's more normal than him keeping an eye on her and making conversation with her? 😏

Meanwhile, Clover is like all cute smiles and oblivious around him, even when he asks her to dance -which he claims he does it so that Whistledown will stop writing about her and Benedict- but makes sure to do that at every single ball 😏

"Charlotte" He's the only Bridgerton who calls her that, "you may carry on with your Ice Queen as you wish, but Charlotte is a good girl and deserves better than this humiliating display. If you've any honor you'll let her down gently and allow her to find a different match for herself." I CAN ALMOST HEAR THIS OMG 😍

Benedict would so see through him though😂 Like, he probably called him to his study to chide him about his behavior around Clover where Charlotte can see, and Benedict will turn that around only in a way a younger brother could do, because he would lean back and go like,

"What brought this on?"

"Can you honestly not see yourself? The way you are with that girl when Charlotte is around-"

"Charlie is happy for me. She managed to become friends with her, can you imagine that?"

"Yes. I don't think anyone could resist Charlotte."

"Sorry, what was that?"

"Being- being her friend, obviously. She's like uh... you know how she is."

"You could elaborate."

"I will not. If this courtship of yours-"

"There's no courtship between me and Charlie, we've been saying that for years now."

"Please, until your Ice Queen came along you two never spent a day apart."

"As friends! Charlie would never see me that way, nor would I see her such."

"Are you sure?"

"Very much so. That will put your heart at ease I'm sure."

"My heart remains unaffected by this Benedict, but Charlotte deserves better-"

"Mm absolutely. She deserves to be a viscountess I'd say."

"...What are you implying, exactly?"

"Charlie may be blind when it comes to your affections for her, but I am not."

"Benedict."

"What? Apparently you're among the people who cannot resist her, you may as well share it with me after all these years."

#garden of secrets hc

[momentomori24]

Welp, I finished the Clover/Axe ending two days ago and I gotta say.... yeah, I was not surprised. But also SEE I TOLD YOU SHE WAS CRAZY WHY WOULD YOU TRUST HER JUNPEI.

Seriously though, that ending was wild. First we find the body of some old man who's posed as Zero-- which I do not believe for a second. I don't have any idea who he is but Zero is at the bottom of that list. Like, look at this:

This is the most obviously staged Mastermind substitute I've ever seen in my life--and I'm a Danganronpa fan. This isn't Zero, but it is worth noting that there are and were other people on this ship with us that we haven't met yet. From the blood spill, I'm pretty sure he was killed there. And it probably wasn't Clover this time either, because how? Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think she was even able to go through here before us. The killer in the Submarine ending was implied to be able to roam freely even without the keys needed to open the doors, so it was probably them. Or someone with that same privilege. I think. Question is, who are they and why aren't they here? And do they even have a bracelet?

Ok, this is the one I've been itching to address-- the revelation that Seven and Santa killed Snake. I was kinda suspecting Seven of having something to do with this, but since was the one who brought up the idea that two or more people were responsible I brushed it off (also he really grew on me after a while and I didn't want it to be him). I never suspected Santa to be guilty of anything involving this. If I had a list of potential culprits he would be at rock bottom, THAT'S how much I trusted him. He stood up for Clover and Lotus after Junpei tricked them into fighting for who gets left behind even with death looming over their heads. He agreed to stay in the game instead of escaping in favour of not leaving June behind. Despite his attitude, it was clear he hated playing dirty. He did drop some sus bombs with Santa Claus story, but his sense of fairness quashed those immediately. Seven, maybe. Lotus, most probably. Hell, I could even buy Ace (with some strong evidence tho), even tho he's such a stand-up guy. A part of me is still very delulu about him killing Snake because of all of this. It literally never registered with me that he's the only other person that could've done this (if it was 2 people that did this). They both better have a good reason because I am UPSET.

Freaking Clover, man. I don't know what happened to this girl to take the turn she did, but MAN, she really did a 180 by the end, huh? Killing Santa and Seven in supposed revenge--which, fair enough-- was not enough. She just had to take down June and Junpei too. Girl, what did we do to you? Like, if you had just killed Junpei I wouldn't have been so upset (sorry dude i swear i love you), but why JUNE? That's like killing an innocent puppy, what the heck. I know that there's something wrong with both Snake and Clover, but wow. I'm dying to find out more about them because this is... well, it's something, alright. The fact that she literally made Junpei accept her hand to escape together while he was traumatised and dazed only to whack him and leave him to slowly bleed out as she happily takes off with his bracelet was crazy tho. I hope there's a reason for why she's still going for everyone that didn't kill Snake because my man did not deserve that.

Also, damn. If I had a nickle for every time a pink/red haired girl has offered to join hands and live together at the expense of everyone else I'd have 3 nickles. Which isn't a lot, but it really is so weird it happened thrice. I'd have 2 if that same girl had the potential to end up killing me at the end.

Also, with the knowledge that Snake has a prosthetic arm and there being no mention of it as well his bracelet being cracked meaning we have no way of confirming it's number 2 almost makes me believe he's alive. Almost. I'm pretty confident he's really gone but wouldn't that be a cool twist?

Lastly, the deaths.

I could be completely off the mark but I have a theory that the other 2 endings have 2 different killers. To me, the way everyone died seemed... different. In the Submarine death, the bodies of everyone were so much more bloody than in the other Bad End. The blood splatter looks more spread out in comparison. What makes me kinda iffy about this one is that both the weapon used is supposedly a knife. It could be different people regardless, because how in the world does a knife create blood splatters worse than the literal axe in the Sub ending, but I'm not sure. We know Junpei in both endings was stabbed for sure, but we can't say the same about the others with the existance of the axe and gun. Just wanted to throw that idea out there anyway.

#momento rambles #zero escape #no proof read me tired

[jester-jazzys-mind]

Letters Devon will never send

Devon writes Letters to people and keeps them hidden. And uses nicknames for whoever they write to. Enjoy!

Dear Reaper, you have always been a friend of mine. Even when you scoff at me or eyeroll, I know you still care for me. I know you have a big heart, I know you care for people. I know you express your love differently and that’s why you are my friend, because we both express our love differently, we went beyond the norm. You found the love of your life, your love for her is stronger, I can see it in the way you look at her. You don’t say it much but we know you love all of us, never feel bad about that. But Reaper, why do you never sleep? Is it because of what he did to you? Because he never loved you and made you aware of that? Because you lost almost everything? You did, sleep included. It will get better, Reaper, I promise.

Para Eustace, you were so little, technically you still are but not actually young. You are not the same little one I once knew, now you’re different. Positively different, you help so many, you are a fighter, and you give Hell to those deserving of it. You are such a smart kid, you tell us all things we don’t know. You erase the shame people feel and replace it with empowerment. But I know that deep inside you feel so sad, you feel like nothing you do is worth it. But you are wrong, it’s all worth it.

Para Clover, I remember when you were always agreeing with me. You found me to be just like you. We knew each other well. You looked up to me, and then you changed. You weren’t looking up to me anymore, you grew tired of me. You didn’t want me near you. I was only a disappointment to you, I was bothering you. And then you changed again, you liked me again. You were around me again. It was so good to have you back, but you are not the same. You don’t agree with me often anymore, we lost some of the things we had in common. You are completely different, but you are happier. And if you are clearly happy, then I should be too. It’s unfair to you that I keep wishing you went back to “Normal”, it’s selfish of me to wish that. I’m sorry.

Para Canaria, I love you. I really do. No matter how I feel, my love is always there. Friend, strongly platonic, romantic, possibly more. It may change, but I still want to be around you. I want to be with you. So why don’t I tell you? Because I’m afraid, I’m afraid of my past coming back to get me. Afraid that this won’t last, afraid that I’m just confused. But I love being around you. There’s this feeling, this happy feeling in my heart. And then there’s love to you, and at myself. I feel so happy, I never thought I’d be that way again. It’s not love that makes me happy. It’s you, and music, and video games, and Mac n Cheese. If only I wasn’t such a coward and could really tell you my feelings, but they’re so complicated. You probably deserve someone better.

Para Amapolita, let’s be honest, I hurt you. You will never say it but we both know that I hurt you. All you did was love me, all I had to do was love you too. But I couldn’t, not in the same way. And so we were one sided, you loved me, but I didn’t. You were happy, but I wasn’t. I’m sorry that I led you on. I’m sorry I broke your heart. I know you found someone better than me to love you. I know you are happier, and I like that. But I can’t be happy, because I wonder if we would be like that if I had loved you the same way. I remember the good times and get sad. But I am happy we are still friends, I love you being my friend.

Dear Lavanda, we have been through a lot together. We have so much fun. We were always so close. I never thought we’d ever have problems. But now, I feel like you have been avoiding me. I feel like you’d rather do things with Zafiro than me. You want to go out for weeks without me and never keep me posted. I am supposed to just sit back and know nothing. You don’t tell me anything anymore. You’ve changed too much around me. But I know this is just life. But why? Why do you have to be so different? Why am I still the same but you aren’t? But then I remember, that you didn’t change, you’ve grown. And I have to grow too. I just hope you will never forget me, Lavanda…

Para Zafiro, I know I am causing you harm. I am the cause of all your problems. You are losing energy because of me. All you want to do is live your own life, but I’m too selfish, too judgmental to even let you have that. I know you always knew what you wanted. You knew what you were going to do, you knew what you believed in, you knew what decisions you were going to make. And I know all your sacrifices. What you gave up for me. It’s not fair. You shouldn’t have to lose sleep over me. I shouldn’t be your child, I am not your kid. You shouldn’t be my mother, you are not her. I’ll never tell you about what I almost did many times. What I kept thinking about. You would never forgive me if you knew the horrible thoughts I have. But maybe you would be better off without me. Maybe I should just leave. You’ll be happier without me. But I know I can’t live by myself, so I am stuck here instead. But one day, maybe one day, I’ll leave and you will forget me and be happier. I will cause no more harm…

#Jazzy’s writings #Devon