#HOW did I never think of it before this year they literally go blind towards their deaths I'm gonna SCREAM

[forestdeath1]

Sirius’s attitude towards Peter

This is going to be a bit controversial because in the fandom, it's commonly believed that Sirius loved Peter. People backs this up with two points:

Sirius suggested Peter as the Secret Keeper.

Sirius said he'd die for Peter.

In my view, their relationship was a bit more complicated than just "he loved him." Emotions aren't just about love and hate, there's a lot of grey area in between. But personally, I don't see any evidence that Sirius truly loved or respected Peter.

From what we know in the books, teachers saw Peter like this:

Pettigrew... that fat little boy who was always tagging around after them at Hogwarts?’ said Madam Rosmerta. ‘Hero-worshipped Black and Potter,’ said Professor McGonagall.

For an observant and clever person like McGonagall, the group dynamics aren't a secret. It's exactly what people saw from the outside.

We know for sure that Peter visited the Potters, and Lily worried about him being sad, whereas there's no mention of Remus. In the Order of the Phoenix photo, Peter stands next to James, Lily and Sirius, while Remus is on the other end. So at least during the war, Peter was closer to the Potters than Remus.

Here's what JKR says about their relationship with Peter:

"Pettigrew, who they, in a slightly patronizing way, James and Sirius at least, who they allowed to hang round with them, it turned out that he was a better wizard than they knew. Turned out he was better at hiding secrets than they knew."

And it makes sense. Patronizing. They didn't intend to be friends with Peter at all, it was Remus who felt sorry for him and persuaded James and Sirius to include him.

Remus, always the underdog’s friend, was kind to short and rather slow Peter Pettigrew, a fellow Gryffindor, whom James and Sirius might not have thought worthy of their attention without Remus’s persuasion. Soon, these four became inseparable. (Pottermore)

And what we see in their relationship in reality:

Every time James made a particularly difficult catch, Wormtail gasped and applauded. 

‘Put that away, will you,’ said Sirius finally, as James made a fine catch and Wormtail let out a cheer, ‘before Wormtail wets himself with excitement.’ 

Wormtail turned slightly pink, but James grinned. 

Peter's behaviour:

Lupin and Wormtail remained sitting: Lupin was still staring down at his book, though his eyes were not moving and a faint frown line had appeared between his eyebrows; Wormtail was looking from Sirius and James to Snape with a look of avid anticipation on his face. 

How can someone like Sirius, who literally hates groveling ("I, a spy for Voldemort? When did I ever sneak around people who were stronger and more powerful than myself?"), respect and love someone who constantly grovels? Was Sirius blind not to see that? Everyone saw it. Remus simply pitied and was kind to Peter ("always the underdog’s friend"), and James loved Peter's adoration. James is the kind of person who really loves attention, and at the same time, he has a pretty black-and-white view of the world, and probably considered Peter a good guy, albeit one he could sometimes make fun of ('How thick are you, Wormtail?' said James impatiently. 'You run round with a werewolf once a month –')

But Sirius didn't need attention, he wasn't an attention-seeker. He could see pretty well who and what everyone was.

Many say that what Sirius says in PoA,he says it after many years of reflection in Azkaban and on emotions. I don’t think so:

‘Lily and James only made you Secret Keeper because I suggest- ed it,’ Black hissed, so venomously that Pettigrew took a step backwards. ‘I thought it was the perfect plan ... a bluff ... Voldemort would be sure to come after me, would never dream they’d use a weak, talentless thing like you ... it must have been the finest moment of your miserable life, telling Voldemort you could hand him the Potters.’ 

Sirius came up with a bluff. A plan where Voldemort was supposed to come after him, Sirius, not Peter. It wasn't just that Sirius trusted Peter. The point was that Voldemort would NOT come after Peter. Why was he so sure Voldemort wouldn't come after Peter?

Because first of all, I think Sirius really, as he said, believed that Voldemort would never pay attention to Peter. And secondly, Sirius was sure that Peter admired James too much and loved him too much to betray. The one who was always attached to them, the one who always looked up to James in admiration.

Sirius underestimated Peter's "bravery" and cunning.

‘I, a spy for Voldemort? When did I ever sneak around people who were stronger and more powerful than myself? But you, Peter – I’ll never understand why I didn’t see you were the spy from the start. You always liked big friends who’d look after you, didn’t you? It used to be us ... me and Remus ... and James ...’

He always saw that Peter was attached to them as "big friends," but Sirius, being arrogant, underestimated that besides them, Peter could have other "big friends." He was too convinced that Peter idolized James.

At the same time, it's pretty obvious why Sirius didn't trust Remus. He always respected Remus more, considered him smarter and more capable. He couldn't not trust James, James was everything to him, but Remus, who also often disappeared on missions, he could. This distrust shows not so much that they had bad relations, but rather that Sirius considered Remus a more capable and independent person, not just an appendage to James, like Peter.

So why were they considered inseparable and why did Sirius say he would die for Peter?

‘He – he was taking over everywhere!’ gasped Pettigrew. ‘Wh-what was there to be gained by refusing him?’ 

‘What was there to be gained by fighting the most evil wizard who has ever existed?’ said Black, with a terrible fury in his face. ‘Only innocent lives, Peter!’ 

‘You don’t understand!’ whined Pettigrew. ‘He would have killed me, Sirius!’ 

‘THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE DIED!’ roared Black. ‘DIED RATHER THAN BETRAY YOUR FRIENDS, AS WE WOULD HAVE DONE FOR YOU!’ 

Sirius has a very strong sense of honor. For him, dying for those he considers «ours» is a matter of honor. This is a nuance in his character — he may not particularly like or respect someone, but if they're «ours» he'll defend them (even someone like Mundungus).

He considered Peter their friend, he was with them from the first year, James loved Peter, Remus loved Peter, Peter helped in their mischiefs, and Sirius treated Peter okay, as a friend, but without much respect or some unearthly love that fandom usually portrays. He could see what Peter was like, and surely there were tense situations between them, but Sirius wasn't a bad person, and Peter knew how to play the helpless and miserable guy. It's like a patronizing friendship, where you're friends not because you really respect and love the person, but because they're in your group, and you're used to them. It was a childhood friendship. There was no sacred friendship. Children often start friendships simply because they end up in the same bedroom.

And Sirius isn't afraid of death. His death – it's not the worst thing for him. He tells Peter the same thing. Better to die than betray friends. That's his honor—he doesn't understand betrayal. The concept of honor isn't linked to love. For some reason, many think that a person can only decide to die for those they love. But some might choose death because their honor demands it. And if Sirius considered someone a friend, and he did consider Peter a friend, then dying for him is a normal reaction.

JKR on this: "Sirius would have done it. With all his faults and flaws, he has this profound sense of honor, ultimately, and he would rather have died honorably, as he would see it, than live with the dishonor and shame."

And Sirius would die not just for Peter. He told the twins about their father, who was on a mission: "You don't understand - there are things worth dying for!"

So, I don't see any evidence that Sirius truly loved and respected Peter. Did he consider him a friend? Yes, he did. Not personally his own, but their friend. James's friend first and foremost and an integral part of the Marauders. Would he die for him? Yes, of course. It's a matter of honor. But he always saw him as lesser than themselves, not as worthy, not as strong, not as smart, too cowardly, and sly. And it's precisely because of his arrogant attitude that he thought Voldemort would never pay attention to Peter, making Peter the perfect Secret Keeper. Also, in his opinion, Peter would never betray James precisely because Peter supposedly idolized James too much and loved him too much. But "it turned out that he was a better wizard than they knew. Turned out he was better at hiding secrets than they knew."

#sirius black #the marauders #peter pettigrew #sirius black meta #the marauders meta #hp meta

[moth-mimic]

Mystical Powers?

at work I drank a cold brew coffee, diet coke, and sweet tea all at the same time and I had to release the caffeine somehow I’m so sorry

‣ pairing: Astarion x reader but from Gale’s POV

‣ words: 1697

‣ content: all jokes, Gale is purposefully mischaracterized, Gale is a ‘nice guy’ and owns smut fanfiction (implied), unrequited rivalry, Gale is basically Matthew Patel

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‣ summary: Gale has done everything for you. Yes, he has ate your artifacts, but the reason you even offered them was because you were undoubtedly attracted to him. It was obvious from the way you talked to him last out of the entire group before going to sleep every night. He was just special like that. However, others— specifically a seductive white-haired elf— are not so keen to respect your guy’s destiny to be together. Gale sets out to prove luscious locks are never more important than a pure heart (without any ulterior motives at all).

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Gale rummaged through his collections of books, desperately searching for the one holy piece of information that could grant him a solution to this little problem of his. This problem was not one of scholarly importance, he was well aware, and it was not likely he would find his answer in his ancient texts. But these books were all he knew. What was he going to do, communicate like a normal human that had not been cooped up in his depression tower for years? Blasphemy.

He had taken much of his time alone as of late to contemplate on how he should proceed with the situation. He was not avoiding it, obviously not. He was merely worried for your safety. A fragile one like you was not meant to associate yourself with those like Astarion, an elf skilled in the craft of manipulation and deceitful seduction. Astarion had merely blinded you. Gale was your only hope for freedom. He definitely did not think this just because he wanted to feel needed. And definitely not because he was just sick of seeing the both of you make bedroom eyes across each nightly bonfire.

Lost in his thoughts, his attention suddenly snapped back as he noticed a book of interest. He picked it up gingerly as he read the title.

“Taken by the Vampire King… What a lovely piece of literature, if I do say so myself.” He muttered as he began to delicately pry the cover open. He suddenly stopped himself and slammed the book closed as he remembered the point of this search. “No, this will not assist me. Well…. if seduction is what draws Tav to the pale elf, then I suppose…”

“Now what in the hells are you doing making such a mess in here?”

The sudden voice nearly caused Gale to literally explode, his hands grasping at his chest to calm himself. He spasmed for a minute as his brain rebooted. “Uh, uh, I—“ And then, as if a switch was flipped on inside his brain, he irritably whipped around. “To all gods, Astarion, what are you doing giving me such a fright in the middle of the night? Do you know nothing of peace?”

“Pardon me, but I am an elf. I’m not in need of sleep like you poor little things.” He snorted, conceited as usual, prowling over towards Gale and taking a peek at the book before Gale can even throw it across his tent. “And I see you’re busying yourself with… important matters, hm?”

“It’s for educational— No, what do you want from me, Astarion?”

“Just a friend…” he pouted like a neglected child, collapsing onto Gale’s bedroll in defeat. Gale would feel a twinge of guilt if it was not his mortal enemy saying those words. And also if there wasn’t an obvious layer of sarcasm beneath.

“No, no, out with it.”

“Uh, fine. I was wondering if you had some type of strength potion. I feel like utter shit.” Astarion sighed as he threw his head back, blowing a strand of wandering hair out of his face. Gale studied him as he was distracted— it didn’t seem like he was lying. He looked like utter shit, his hands twitching and under eyes so dark as if he had never seen the sun in his 200+ years of life. (Gale would soon realize this observation was, in fact, accurate)

“Yeah, I see that. And I’m a wizard, not an alchemist, actually. A wizard merely studies their practice of magic through multiple sources of teachings while an alchemist…”

Gale continued on as Astarion sat there in silence. It was not a respectable type of silence, but rather one of ‘if this dude doesn’t shut up I think I might actually kill him.’ His hands began to clench into fists, his nails digging into his flesh as Gale’s nonsensical words pounded through his brain. The tadpole was not the only force controlling him tonight. His eyes flickered with hunger, yet Gale did not notice.

“Gale.”

“Alchemists deserve all the respect, of course, yet they are unaccustomed to my field of— Ah, yes?”

“How does your blood taste?”

The wizard stopped in his tracks. “I- I’m sorry?” He waited for a response for a moment. When he did not get one he continued. “Well, if you must know, my blood actually tastes of bile. You see, it serves as a natural precaution against…” He thought for a moment. “Certain entities.”

Astarion had nothing more to say than a simple, “Hm.” The two looked at eachother for a brief second, awkwardly, one weighing his options and the other debating if it was fitting to run away. Fortunately for Gale, within another second the pale elf was gone from his tent, leaving the wizard with a cloud of confusion. And maybe just a bit of fear. He stood there a moment before his eyes slowly trailed to the book now on the other side of the tent. He remembered the bloodless boar on the side of the road. He pictured Astarion’s scarlet gaze, burning with desire for something unfathomable. Suddenly he knew the answer to his problem.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

Gale had been watching the two of you ever since that unsettling night. He had witnessed some unsavory moments, yes, but everyone has to make their sacrifices. And his sacrifices were undoubtedly worth it— every night he stayed awake long enough to watch the elf make his way into the forest to sustain himself on blood from some unknown source. This night in particular was one that would change everything. This night was the night he would reveal Astarion’s true nature to you.

After witnessing Astarion make his way into the forest for his nightly ritual, Gale hurriedly makes his way into your tent.

“Y/N? Y/N! Wake up now, this is dire!”

“Huh—“ You, wide awake, turn around to Gale’s face a few mere inches from yours. “Gale! Why the hells are you in my tent?” You hiss, backing up to escape his pleading puppy eyes.

“No time for questions, we must go into the forest! There, a truth will be uncovered, and you will be free from the vampire’s wicked hold!”

You’re about to ask Gale to speak like a normal person, yet he quickly grabs your hand and drags you outside before you can protest. “Gale, this isn’t really—“

“I assure you it is!”

Without another word he leads you both onto Astarion’s trail. The only problem is that Gale does not seem to know exactly where the pale elf has wandered off to, as he has never before made the courageous decision to follow him into the unknown abyss of the woods. You watch him anxiously look around and mutter to himself. You sigh knowingly, turning away from him and walking on a path you’ve traced many times before.

“Wait, wait! It is incredibly dangerous and you do not know where your judgements may lead you!”

“I promise you I do.” You pointedly say, leading him deeper into the forest so familiar to both you and Astarion. You stop as you reach an area uncovered by the canopy of leaves.

“Why-“ Gale begins before catching sight of the perpetrator. There he is, standing there in the moonlit clearing, shirtless. Gale would probably take more notice to the current scenario if he did not already have a speech planned.

“You- You creature! I knew there was something foul deep within you from the moment we met! I recognized your intent all along— to simply deceit every innocent being you came upon, to lead them under your malicious influence. But here I stand, shattering your mask and revealing your true being: a vampire! Cower under my fireball—“ Gale stops for a minute, trying to remember what to do next, before quickly summoning a fireball in his hands like he originally intended. “And consider our fight… BEGUN!”

The crickets chirp as he finishes his lengthy speech. Astarion is the first to speak.

“…Is that all?”

“Yes. W-was it not obvious?”

With Gale’s answer, you and Astarion immediately break into a fit of laughter. Gale stands there, confused, quickly glancing between the two of you and wondering what the joke was.

“And what are you gonna prove my ‘true being’ with, oh wise wizard?” Astarion smirks, still collecting himself.

“With—! With…” Gale pauses, looks around in a panic, and realizes a key factor of his plan is missing. There is not a bloodless life to be seen. “What in the realms— Why are you here, then, Astarion? What do you sustain yourself with? Answer me!”

Astarion merely purses his lips, rhythmically tapping his fingers to the side of his face. He gives Gale a pitiful pout. “Oh dear… This is a bit awkward, isn’t it?”

And suddenly Gale realizes. He turns to you immediately, the fireball now accidentally pointed at you. “You knew?!”

You raise your hands in protest, eyeing the fireball in his hands. “I-I mean, yeah. Like, everybody knew. Except you, of course.”

“What?”

“They are right,” Astarion adds, “Nobody told you because you are a little… well… extreme.” A pause. “And desperate.”

“I’m— I’m not—!” Gale’s fireball just burns brighter, and you begin to think it’s enough to send the entire forest into flames. However, you’re more worried about the possibility of him literally exploding and obliterating everything in his proximity. You glance towards Astarion, whose eyebrows are furrowed at the same thought. The resentment in Gale’s eyes grows brighter with the flame. Yet, suddenly, the fire disappears. The wizard looks as if he’s about to collapse into despair at any moment. “I don’t understand! You make no sense!”

He turns towards you and points an accusing finger. Astarion just shrugs as you glance towards him. “Even when I am right in front of you, laying down my life, you do not care! I am a respectable wizard, name known to beings far and wide! What does he offer, huh?”

You silently raise your eyebrow. Gale just scowls.

“Ugh. Typical.” And with that he whips around, his sleep robe lashing behind him. As he storms off he adds, “Don’t even add me to your party tomorrow. Or ever.”

You weren’t planning on it.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

So a few days ago I posted something about making a ‘nice guy’ Gale fanfic but not posting it out of shame and I ended up getting like 30+ likes so I thought it was only fair to actually post. Anyway please don’t hold me accountable for this k thanks love u guys I’ll probably have LOTR content soon

#gale x reader #gale x tav #astarion #astarion x tav #astarion x reader #baldurs gate 3 #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #bg3 x reader #gale of waterdeep #Spotify #bg3 shitpost #gale dekarios

[iouinotes]

You're my dream | Alex Walter

pairing: Alex Walter x female!reader

genre: fluff word count: 3,4k

show: My life with the Walter boys

summary: Alex thinks you prefer Cole over him. You show him that he is the most important person in your life.

a/n: @bbr0wni3 and I had the same idea for a story, so I hope you like the final result :) and sorry for gatekeeping sooo long

Alex had been quiet for the entire walk home. It felt like the school day had passed painfully slow, without his sympathy, his jokes, or his comments in math class. I've tried to find out the reason for his silence, but each time I asked about it, he changed the topic and I was left clueless.

Of course, I thought about what could bother him so much, but none of my suggestions were that convincing. Maybe it was his bad history essay? Or did he have had another fight with Cole? Was it about Paige? She had become his black shadow over the last year and if I'm being honest, I never really liked her. I mean, as Alex's best friend, I have little say in his dating life, even though my opinion is important to him.

Because when Alex falls in love, no one can stop him. It happens quickly and is usually associated with a lot of pain afterwards.

But if I remember things correct, Alex has been acting a bit strange for a while now. I mean, I tried to get to the bottom of his sudden mood-changes, but understanding Alex's mind has never been an easy task.

Good thing for me, I've never liked things too easy. Then again, bad thing for me, that I'm in love with my best friend.

I didn´t notice it at first and I can't pinpoint the exact moment, when my feelings for him meant more than just friendship.

Alex has always been a special person in my life, someone I could open my heart to and who would never hurt me. Apparently, I opened the doors to my heart a little too wide for him, because on one warm spring day, when I couldn't stop looking at his smiling face, my feelings for him became very clear to me. I literally hung on every word he said and I didn't even know at that point, that you could see a light in his eyes, when he talked about something he liked, that shone as beautiful as the rays of the sun.

And then, without even paying attention to what he was saying anymore (I think it was something about a new video game, he was playing), I quickly wrote down a few phrases in my notebook. that came to my mind. Unfortunately, I probably acted a little bit too hectic, because he stopped talking mid-sentence, irritated but curious.

"What are you doing?" I heard him ask, a smile on his lips. He leaned towards me and before I could hide it, he read the words out loud.

"Looking at you is like having the sun right in front of me.

I´m blinded by your beauty."

I thought my heart would give out at that moment, but he just grinned at me with twinkling eyes and asked who these two poetic sentences were addressed to. I said back then that it was about a character from a movie, because he wouldn't have bought anything else. After all, he had known me for so long that he knew about every crush I ever had, so choosing a boy from school would have been out of question.

But he never found out that my inspiration was actually him.

However, when I clear my thoughts and turn to look at him now, a visible frown is attached all over his beautiful features. I decide to put my arm around his arm, the typical pose for a married couple, so he isn´t able to get away from me and I can convince him to hang out. With the aim that I can lighten up his sadness.

Unfortunately now, much to my discomfort, he's looking at me with raised eyebrows, which is why I finally bring up the sensitive topic.

"So, something is clearly bothering you and I will take it as my duty to change your miserable mood. Don´t protest, because we are going to my place and I will take care of you with lots of ice cream. How does that sound?" I see a smile tugging at the corner of his lips, he signs but then quietly nods. And when we arrive at my house, luckily my parents are still at work, I turn the key and let us in. He takes off his jacket, my eyes secretly wander to him and I notice, while my heart is pounding, that he wears my favorite sweater. A white one with a blue hood.

He fixes his hair, that always need to look perfect and I smile lightly, because I love every time that I can get on his nerves, when I ruffle through it. He throws himself on the sofa and while I turn on the heater and go into the kitchen to get the ice cream, he has already made himself comfortable with a blanket. When I see him hugging a pillow, still scowl on his face, I sit myself right next to him. But as he keeps his attention at the black TV, I notice his exhausted figure and decide to speak up.

"Alex, come on. Talk to me, something is obviously going on. I don´t like it, when you are sad. Plus, I really miss your smile." My hand rests on his shoulder, lightly stroking the hair on the back of his neck, because I know he has a weakness for physical touch. When I see him struggling to keep up his act, I approach him and whisper "you can tell me anything, you know that right? I would never judge you."

Again, he signs loudly, but finally looks at me. His eyes are searching for mine and now that his attention is focused completely on me, I suddenly feel uneasy.

"D-did I do something?" My nerves are getting thinner by the second. I hate to upset him. Probably because I love seeing him happy so much.

"No, it´s-" his hand brushes over his face. "It is complicated." I'm still trying to understand, why he can't tell me what's going on.

"You didn´t do something illegal, didn´t you? I mean, I would still be your best friend, but I would have to make up a story, why I'm visiting you in prison-" at that, he quietly laughs and shakes his head.

"It´s legal, even though I feel like it shouldnt be." Now I'm curious and scared at the same time.

"Please, tell me. I´m dying to know." I try to put on my best puppy dog look, even though it probably looks pretty stupid.

A few seconds later, he slowly raises his hand and places it on my cheek, gently stroking my skin, while still holding the eye contact. His gesture leaves me speechless. I mean we cuddled every now and then during a movie or I've fallen asleep on him. I've also kissed him on the cheek once while doing a chore, but otherwise we always kept a decent distance. The fact that he's coming so close to me now is catching me off guard.

"You...you would tell me if you like someone, right?" His question surprises me.

"Yeah, of course. You now, that I can barely keep something from you. You always know what I get you for your birthday, because I can´t resist, when you keep asking me about it." His hand slowly sneaks into mine. My eyes wander to our laps. I feel myself getting more and more confused.

"Alex, what´s going on? I don´t hide anything from? Do you think otherwise?" I feel a pang in my heart as I look into his eyes.

"I heard a rumor" he begins to say and I draw my eyebrows together at his words. He never considers any rumors, because most of the time they are false anyway.

"And?" I want him to continue.

"It was about you and-" hopefully not about the fact that I'm in love with you, just let it stay my secret.

"-Cole." What?

"What?" He signs, looking away from me.

"Someone said, he heard you talking about how in love you were with him or something. That you prefer him over me." He averts his eyes so he's no longer looking at me. I almost laugh at this ridiculous statement.

"Do you really believe that? That I would prefer Cole over you? My funny and kind, but sometimes very very stupid best friend? You really think, I hang out with you in every free second, that I have, because I like your brother? Who is by the way, not even close on my list of people I would visit in prison." I'm glad he didn't do anything illegal and it's just about a stupid rumor. But now, I still have to convince him, that it is in fact just a rumor.

He is quiet for a moment, but when he speaks up, I almost laugh at his question.

"Where am I on your list?" His eyes look into mine and now I'm the one taking his hands.

"Alex" I start to speak in a gentle voice "you will always be my number one, you hear me? I don´t think, I like another person in this world or in this universe as much as I like you. Sometimes, it feels like you are literally the reason, that the earth revolves. Because for me, my world revolves around you. I enjoy every second, I spent with you and I would never, ever trade this for even a minute with Cole. Okay? Never. I promise."

I finally see his shoulders relax and a genuine smile that spreads across his face. When I nudge him on the shoulder, he laughs.

"You, big dummy. I thought, you would tell me, you robbed a bank or something."

"Oh, I would never dare. You would kick my ass." We smile at each other in silence.

But I still want to know, how it comes, that he would believe something so ridiculous.

"So, why did you think, I would prefer Cole over you?" It hurts a little to think, that he believes he´s not that important for me.

"Because" he begins to say, gesturing with his hands "the Cole effect exits and all that. Every girl falls for his charm or whatever. I can´t compete with him." Something I will never understand. How he always makes himself look bad in comparison to his older brother.

"Well, for the matter, you affect me with your smart and kind soul. And I think my heart could bear it a lot better, if you would not look like a dream come true."

He's silent for a moment and I begin to panic, when he suddenly looks at me with a nervous expression.

"Can I- I mean, I think I´m going to say something really concerning. And it will affect our friendship, like a lot. So, just let me say it." Since that means, that he wants to talk about something important, I stay quiet. Nevertheless, still holding his hand for support.

He exhales heavily, but then looks directly at me. "I know you for as long as I can remember, you were by my site since the second I walked on this earth. You know, quite literally, because we were in the same kindergarden group. You were my first friend and I remember so many moments, that will forever exist in my memory. And...in my heart. Because you seem to have a say in what my heart wants and it feels like it wants you, for some time now. I know you are my best friend, but I cant imagine someone else being so connected in my life. In everything I do, everything I am. You support my decisions, even if you don´t like them. When you force me to watch rom-coms with you and the characters talk about finding their soulmate, doing all these cheesy things, I realize I want that too. With you. Since watching the Notebook three weeks ago, I wake up every day and wish that you would lay next to me. So, I could-"

He leans forward and with a shy smile, that makes my heart burst with happiness, he kisses me. It´s a feeling, I never want to miss again.

"-kiss you. It would be the first thing I would do in the morning."

He tucks a strand of hair behind my ears.

"I would-" his hands move to my waist and pull me onto his lap. "-make you sit right here and whisper all the things I adore about you. Like-" he kisses my forehead, I feel his lips across my face. I close my eyes and enjoy being so close to him. He leans further towards me, his lips brush over my neck and leaves a kiss there.

He mutters a few words, that I -much to my dislike- can´t understand. But I´m too caught up in his embrace to ask about it.

But then, he seems to get more confident and when he speaks again, I almost tear up.

"I love you. As my best friend, my heart, my love, my person. If you let me. I'll be yours, if you want to be mine."

I kiss him again, letting the tears flow, because I don´t know what else I could do to show my happiness. When we break apart, I look at him. A lovesick feeling inside my chest.

We're holding each other in our arms, but just a few seconds pass until his curiosity wins and he turns to me.

"That quote, that you wrote a few weeks ago, about someone being like the sun for you. Who was it about? Because you did not, just for once, talked about a fictional character. I would remember." Okay, I didn't expect that.

His beautiful eyes continue to look at me, encouraging me to come out with the truth. I nervously smile, tracing the lines in his hand.

"As you said, you ever looked at someone and just thought: This is my person? Someone, you want to have in your life, no matter, if it´s just a friend, a boyfriend or maybe even a best friend." I look at him, searching in his eyes, that he knows how I feel. Then I continue.

"Someone who makes you smile just by existing. Or someone who has a shitty humor, but he delivers his jokes so perfect, it makes you laugh anyway. Someone, who holds my heart and my mind in his hands, even if he doesnt know it."

"What´s he like?" His eyes are curious, but to my surprise, he seems irritated by the thought, that I could be in love with someone. Someone, who isnt him. You big, big, idiot.

"He's kind, has a fascination for fantasy books and for riding horses, playing baseball or fighting creatures in video games. He doesn't know, why I have a soft spot for sweet, gentle and caring characters, even though he is my inspiration for writing them."

His lips part in surprise.

"He's my everything. Sometimes it makes me sad, because I can´t love someone else, the same way. But then, I look at him and I feel like, why do I even want to love someone else, when he exits." I pause for a moment.

"When you exist."

My words make him speechless, but he continues to hold me close to his heart.

"For a long time, I didnt even know I had feelings for you too, Alex. You were always like a second home for me.

You are someone I trust the most and who I rely on in any kind of situation. You make me laugh and you´re always there for me. At first, I didnt notice my change of feelings. Because you kept being my safe place, but as I grew up, I realized that nothing mattered the way, you matter to me.

Sometimes, when I look at you, it feels like I have met my other soul or that maybe, we share the same. Nothing in this world is as important to me than you or your feelings. Maybe it wasnt clear enough for you to see, but I am in love with you.

Your existence in this world is so special and like nothing else, I could ever dream of. Because you are my dream, the most-dearest one."

#alex walter #my life with the walter boys #cole walter #love confessions #love #x reader #soulmates #fanfic

[cordial-imputresco]

One of the most aggravating things in the chonny jash fandom is the feminization and infantilization of heart. If you're my mutual or if we talk a lot you already know where I stand about this but I just need to talk about this with a wider audience before I go insane. Also thanks for 50 followers I promise I'll draw more when I'm not halfway across the globe.

First off, there's no fucking reason to infantilize heart. Genuinely. I think in the album he's only treated like a child when mind called him a boy and a kid. There's no other "proof" other than when MIND LIES ABOUT HEART, and still people write heart like this insolent little kid who cannot do anything for himself.

And, I don't know if these two things are truly related, but as someone who's physically disabled it grinds a particular gear when people make the canon disabled character (anyone who thinks otherwise literally. Why do u want to take rep away from disabled people SOO BADLY) act like a child. I understand it's probably not that for some people but again, why is it so hard to imagine a disabled person who can stick up for themselves?? Heart might rely on soul or mind for certain things since he's blind but he's also his own person. Blindness effects everyone differently but one thing any physically disabled person is sick of it's infantilization and this is still true for fictional characters as well. It's genuinely never okay no matter the context.

Heart is emotionally mature. I'm sorry he is, Heart isn't a 12 year old and Heart has delt with the brunt of the body's emotions for his entire existence. He thinks logically and genuinely makes good points which are rooted in truth while mind makes outrageous claims, constantly makes heart seem like the lesser one and is genuinely so emotionally immature that it's insane. The moment he's given control over their emotions he kinda loses his shit and cannot handle it (the end line of tha and the two songs between THA and TME prove this) and yet people think heart is worse with emotions. Be so honest and give me proof of this other than when he was CONDEMNED TO APATHY.

And if u want proof for that PLEASE just listen to the bidding. Or TSE. Or literally any song that isn't about heart wanting to end his life. He sticks up for himself and specifically he talks back to mind which some fic authors genuinely just forget about?? And I get it write characters how you want to but god am I tired of seeing heart and mind argue and heart could just be replaced with a doll who says the same 3 things. "That's not true :((" "you do that too :(((" and "*sniffle* ur wrong >:((" WHYYYY ARE YOU SO INSISTENT ON MAKING HEART DEPENDENT ON OTHERS THAT HE CANNOT EVEN TALK BACK TO MIND OR SOUL. Heart harbored anger and hate but it seems like some people ignore that and just place him into this box EXACTLY LIKE MIND DID. Why did the mind gaslighting work on you /ref .

Also, since heart is "the emotional side" people lovee to make him feminine and small and it's so upsetting. First off, this idea that emotions r feminine pisses me off because it's just regurgitating misogyny and I'm sick of pretending like it's not. People fucking. Yaoi-ify (only word I can think of right now sorry) heart and mind by making mind this trad masc tall guy with a strong jaw while heart has a softer jawline and is usually smaller. It's so aggravating to me that fanon heart is this soft boi with no genuine fight to him while canonically we have SEEN HIM TALK BACK AND BE MEAN TO MIND??? I get this fandom has a lot of teenagers in it but holy shit can people not do the same shit we were doing 8 fucking years ago with tomtord.

And just one last thing, stop trying to aggressively masculinize mind just because he's emotionally immature and has a deep voice. He's not this intellectual genius debater who is dishing facts towards heart and the few things he does say that are true he says alongside actual lies about heart. Write what you want and draw what you want but please understand the irl implications of your works and understand what type of ideas are you peddling by doing what you're doing.

TLDR: stop being fucking weird about heart and treat him like a grown ass man. He's not a child.

#rant #this is all /srs #please block me if you gen write heart like this #cw caps #chonny jash #cccc #cj heart

[kizzys]

Something about how Joel needs to know a specific purpose to work towards for him to go on... Not that others don't, of course they do, it's the most human thing, but how its just a lot more specific with Joel...

When Sarah was alive, she was his purpose. To raise her, to give her a life, to keep her safe... and after she passed, he didn't have that purpose anymore, so he tried to do what he did the very next day...

We see this with Tess too, and I think another post already pointed this out, how she is very much the leader between the two of them. Tess guided him, she gave him goals to carry through, she gave him purpose. Even when they meet Ellie, he only takes her along because Tess decided to. Hell, he was ready to abandon Ellie after finding out she was infected but didn't because Tess said not to.

We have seen the kind of tunnel vision of greif and rage he goes through when he loses his purpose, we have seen it with Sarah, we have seen it with Ellie, but we do not see it with Tess. This was one of the most important relationships in his life through 20 years of the apocalypse, and sure he mourns her but he's never blinded by it. Why?

Because just before her death, Tess gives him a new purpose, to keep Ellie safe. And that's exactly what he does. Only that, over the course of the episodes, the purpose that came out of obligation turns into genuine parental love.

That's also one of the reasons Joel's search for Ellie this episode is so interestingly shot. I mean, in the last episode when Joel was torturing those two men, everything was loud and crystal clear, every scream, every breath, every movement of the knife. Because Joel woke up and his kid is missing, all her things are missing, and at this point he has no idea where she is or if she's even alive. And so that scene is neither from Joel's pov nor of those two men. The audience is literally a third observer watching this guy torture the fuck out of two others. The scene from the last episode is the complete opposite. Especially for what is one of the most violent scenes in the show, I mean Joel kills a building full of people in cold blood. But we hear no sound, everything is muted, most of the camera's attention is either on Joel or his boots, not the bloodshed in front of him. This is the one scene we get to see that is completely from Joel's point of view, from the moment he takes the gun in the staircase till he reaches the operating room, we see that blinded tunnel vision that Joel has. He has one purpose - to find Ellie. Anything else doesn't matter, and so he doesn't even register all the things he's doing, all the people he's killing.

And then he sees Ellie, and the audio returns to normal, the camera pans out. When he shoots the surgeon, it is loud, it is clear. It is personal. And he could have killed the nurses, dragged Ellie away from the bed himself and be done with it. But no, he asks the nurses to remove all the wires off of her, and to bandage up her arm, and he puts her in the car before he kills Marlene, not after. Because he completed his purpose of finding Ellie. His new purpose now is to keep her safe from anything that could hurt her, whether its seeing someone die or a single drop of blood on her arm.

Joel's arc, from the first episode till the last, is having his purpose as a father break apart and then having it glued back together, piece by piece, all by the drive he has to protect his little girl

And god help any motherfucker who stands in his way

#i didnt mean for this to be so long but anywho #i just have a lot of thoughts about the zombie show #the last of us #tlou #the last of us hbo #joel miller #ellie williams #tlou spoilers #.

[inf1nyxw0rlds]

reposting my infinite is not weak essay because i got anxious and deleted the last one <3 i've been meaning to do this for months, but i'm not exactly the most functional person and i don't often put myself out there. in the process of rewriting it, i also altered the wording and added a few things, as you might notice if you've seen it before; and if you haven't, then welcome to whatever it is i'm doing here!

this is written with all my love, all my frustration, fueled by years worth of listening to a cycle of minsinformation that left permanent damage in the form of skewed perceptions – based in a false claim and the jokes that came with it – and a hesistance on sega's part to even address him save for a few tossed crumbs over the span of the last half a decade. originally i had an elaborate metaphor here, but there was no need for it and i'll cut right to the chase; there has always been good in infinite's character – but not everyone cares to look for it.

it's been six years since the release of sonic forces. which is insane! it's wild to me! as somebody who's been here since before the game even released, i've seen it all. to commemorate the occassion, when i wrote this originally, i thought that i would talk further about infinite's reception; in particular, the Weak thing. i've discussed it before in brief, and you can read that one here; this time though, i'm going to get more into dissecting the actual problem, and debunking arguments that supposedly prove infinite to be objectively weak and pathetic... when canonically, that isn't the case. i'd actually argue the opposite, but at the very least he isn't lacking strength – his skills are average at worst.

the first reason that i see, the one we're all plenty familiar with and the one i brought up previously, is that infinite is weak because he lost to shadow. once. that's it. do i really have to explain why this is stupid? yeah, he did lose, one time. even against a normal opponent, one defeat in comparison to what we can assume, based on his title, many victories, isn't much of an indicator toward being weak. shadow is also the ultimate lifeform, in case anyone has forgotten that detail, and bear in mind that infinite knows shadow to have just slaughtered his entire team – do you really think he would be at his best in that state?

there's also a fuckton of context clues implying that infinite had issues prior to this encounter, specifically inferiority issues. shadow literally told him, after having wiped his whole team out, to never show his pathetic face again. the face with the, you know. the big scar. the blind eye. (shoutout to the person who pointed this out in the tags in the "first part" of this, by the way! based for that)

this argument is so full of holes that it just drives me kind of bonkers how it can be used to claim infinite is weak and stupid. do i think that the scene is without flaw? of course not. if you want to say that the way they handled his breakdown wasn't the greatest, you can, you have every right to your opinion. but that's just it. we're talking about something else. i get it, the "i am not weak" was a memeable line, but it doesn't actually make him weak. people that reduce his reaction to "just" hating shadow because he got his ass beat, people who call it a "temper tantrum", i ... the context is right there. it was never "just" because shadow beat him up. would people say this about anyone else that shadow happens to beat up? that they're irrefutably weak? no. that's stupid. obviously. so why infinite? because it wasn't a strong enough spectacle. let me illustrate this more with another example;

another reason people say that infinite is weak is because sonic didn't need to go super in order to beat him. and... again, this one, too, falls apart pretty easily. sonic has beaten other characters without going super, and this includes shadow. the difference is the when, the how, the context. it's not that infinite is weak, but it was a weak final boss fight. do you get what i mean?

forces, in general, suffered a lot with this problem. it wasn't a problem that was exclusive to infinite. unfortunately, as the new character, he got the most heat. there was a huge amount of hype for him, so when the spectacle fell short, people were pissed. and i get it. but then that issue became, "infinite bad". that issue became "infinite's weak". it has never been that, though. this is why i personally hate weak jokes – because they're rooted in non-issue and misinfo.

a point i saw made once was that the characterisation of sonic and the rest of the cast are part of what made infinite's character hard to take seriously, and i'd agree! infinite actually fits the setting quite well; he has a mysterious, serious presence. he's harsh, he's edgy, but it's cheesy enough that it works in the typical style of the sonic franchise. the problem is, when the other characters aren't taking things seriously, it throws the whole thing off. we're being told this is a hard-hitting, high stakes plot, but how can we see it that way, when they're all just cracking jokes?

as a side-tangent of sorts, you know what's real funny? infinite's backstory, the one thing people use more than anything else to declare his obvious weakness, quite likely wasn't originally going to exist anyway, and he was instead going to be made by eggman. i say "quite likely" as, as i've stated, i don't like misinformation, and sega will probably never confirm this one-hundred percent, but this is something fans – myself included – have discussed a few times.

first, there's the odd dialogue and enviroment in stage 29. tails states outright, as you go through the fortress, where containment/test tubes line the walls in countless numbers, "so this is where eggman built infinite". the tubes do, in fact, appear to have low-res bodies inside them. this is also something they detailed in an early version of the script. infinite's remark on sonic's "data" also fits in with this idea of him being some form of android. prior to release, there was also a cryptic message that, when decoded, referred to infinite as "the fated son of daedalus"; in other words, icarus, who flew too close to the sun; his father being an inventor! that's really dope foreshadowing.

you can argue that tails and amy's commentary is speculation rather than solid fact and that they're mistaken, it's a possibility i definitely consider here, but given how rushed the dlc and prequel comics feel, the fact that there was a statement that big changes were made late into development... yeah. i'll buy it. i often find myself wondering what people would think of infinite had this been his story, whether they would view him differently. also, speaking of the dlc being rushed, there are actually unused lines for episode shadow implying that you would have fought the jackal squad; they were likely just unable to implement it in time. it's a shame, as it would have added to that spectacle factor i mentioned. but hey, gotta push for that holiday release!

what i find really interesting is that you can look at his character through either lense: the former mercenary turned war criminal, or the creation of our ol' doctor, and he still reads well! his behaviour makes sense in whichever context you choose to apply; what he thought he had to become, versus what he was made to be. it's cool and it makes me a bit insane. a lot of people criticise infinite for his one-dimensionality, but in my opinion, like... it's the point. he's meant to feel hollow. because he's masking; or because he wasn't made for feelings, but rather for destruction.

something that seems ironic is that many people attempt to "fix" him by... putting him into a box and inflating a single trait into his entire character and calling it "better writing". now, here's the disclaimer, okay: i'm all for people having fun and being proud of their work! i don't think that we should police what others can create. this is just about the phenomenon of watering a character down or changing them to fit ships and narratives rather than those characters being what shape the direction the story and their relationships take, things like that; which... i mean, i'm not a cop, you can still do these things even if i don't like them! i'm not saying it isn't allowed, but i think that you're kind of missing the point.

he never needed fixing. his story needed refinement. that's different. it's more about exploring what we've been given, looking below the surface; infinite is not just an evil, ruthless tyrant that deserves death nor a traumatised sadboy to be made good by the power of love and friendship – not to me. his trauma and anger are both part of him, and you cannot – or rather shouldn't – reduce him to one thing or another. it does him a major disservice, i think. there are good things there, things you can dissect, you just have to be willing to look.

in choosing to ignore what made him who he is, disregarding the loss of his squad and blatant insecurity unless it's funny, you're purposely looking at him through a faulty lense. bad writing doesn't mean that the intent isn't there. context is so important, and you can't analyse him or critique him with worth unless these things are acknowledged. it's like if you were eating a cake, avoiding the frosting and complaining it's not sweet enough. the frosting is there, not even being withheld from you. it has always been there. you decided not to eat it. sorry i'm making weird analogies again but hopefully this makes sense.

this has gotten long, wow. the point i want to highlight, overall, is that infinite is not nearly as awful as people make him out to be. it was never about his strength, it was about the limits and shortcomings of the narrative, a problem not exclusive to him yet one that has been pinned on him for so many years. i don't want it to sound like i'm saying he is immune to criticism, or that forces is, even though i've criticised forces during the creation of this post (and don't think that i think forces is terrible, either! it's my favourite game and i have lots of things i like about it as well! i've just been drawing attention to these parts to better explain what i want to convey lol); but i do hate how the wrong thing is being criticised.

this issue has been watered down into "infinite weak" when it's way more broad, way more complex than that, and i cannot stand it. it seems like such a trivial matter, like, oh, fandom is being mean about my favourite guy, but it did actual damage and forever altered people's perception of him. i am pissed about it! i'm mad! i don't care if you don't like infinite (because i can just block you as we will not get along!) but... it's about why people don't like him. they don't have to justify it, they can continue hating him, but it always bothered me that the reason is so often not a real problem. yeah.

okay, i think that's it. thank you for taking the time to read this, and if you made it this far, you're gay

#transmission #infinite tag #infinite the jackal #long post

[january-summers]

Just thinking about some stuff, whole train-of-thought re: Wash's induction into PFL, (and the idea that it would be hilarious if he was actually one of the first Freelancers selected for the project despite being considered by the others to be a rookie) and it sort of spiraled back into the idea that he and Ohio (Vera) worked together pre-PFL.

Cause like, Wash had to have done at least 7* years in the military, he reached at least corporal (I've seen a head-canon he might have even been a sergeant on his way to staff sergeant but got demoted as part of his court-martial and I'm here for that tbh) and as a corporal he would have been a team leader for a small team, or at least he would be cleared to act in that capacity. (UNICOM Corporal: Enlisted Officer 4th rank - Typical Responsibilities: Fireteam leader)

(*IRL court-martials can come with prison time, so Wash might have been in prison for 'a little while' before PFL, then released with just enough time to realise how hard it would be to get back in the fight before PFL “conveniently” came along with a job offer, or they offered to broker a deal to keep him out of prison if he worked for them instead. If he was discharged right before being recruited and he was recruited at the start of the recruitment period he actually would have been in the military for 9 years at least, which I think we all know by this point?)

Anyway, I'm just picturing rookie!Vera has been assigned to David's team (and yes, as always I'm secretly running “his last name starts with 'C' and his 'call sign' was D.C.” head-canons) and she's not fresh from an academy new, but D.C.'s team is the elite in their field type team, so she's still out of her depth a bit.

Naturally, Military Intelligence has proven to be an oxymoron still, and bad intel has them all in over their heads. The team gets split as they're trying to wipe out a target via ground assault. D.C. takes a flash-bang (or alien equivalent) basically to the face and ends up blind (temporarily) so he's out there with a makeshift blindfold wrapped around his head to stop his eyes taking any more radiant damage and letting Vera steer them through the unfriendly terrain.

And Vera would really like to go home but they still have a job to do, especially if they're the only ones left, so she and D.C. stealth their way to their objective, but they run into a problem, a small covie strike team, and Vera doesn't know how they manage to take them out between her and her currently blind commanding officer, but they do, except for one, who makes a run for it back towards the covie base to tattle on them after the radio gets wiped out.

The covie is way too far ahead of them, they'll never catch up, and they're running out of time before it alerts the base, Vera doesn't know what to do, but D.C. tells her she has to use the sniper and take the shot herself.

“Can-can't you do it?”

“Literally blind kid.”

“Right. … shit.”

“Yep.”

“Okay, okay, I can do this, I can totally do this.”

And Vera fumbles the sniper into position and freezes. She can't do this, holy shit, holy shit, holy shit, and the covie bastard is running fucking serpentine!

And then D.C.'s hand is on her back and he's telling her to breathe with him.

“You know where he's running too, look at the ground, he can't stack it now, he'll take the easiest path, that's how he's going to move, aim, lead the target for distance and speed, take the shot. You can do this, look how well you've already done while lugging my blind ass around, you have the potential, the skills, the training. Breathe. Aim. Lead. Take the shot.”

For three long seconds after she shoots, Vera worries she's hyperventilated herself high and imagined landing the shot that turned the covie's head into confetti.

It was an improbably shot and she'd landed it.

"Holy shit did you fucking see that? I mean, uh... sir? boss? -"

"Nope, still blind :) and you know what, you can just call me David; David's fine."

They finish the mission and rejoin the rest of the team, complete success thanks to their maintained stealth.

A few years later, Agent Washington will point to that shot as proof Vera has what it takes to be a Freelancer when he's asked for his opinions on some potential recruits.

It's the reason Wash was the last to know the Triplets were gone. If he'd heard it from on-high, he would have known something sus had gone down, and his penchant for breathtakingly vicious revenge would have endangered Price. Instead, hearing it fifth hand, Wash was left believing Vera had dropped out without telling him because he'd somehow made her think he'd be ashamed of her, and what kind of bastard was he, that she didn't think she could come to him with her worries, that she'd leave without leaving. Did she know he'd put her name forward, did she blame him?

#rvb #red vs blue #agent washington #agent ohio #project freelancer

[thenamessparkplug]

The Bad, The Worse, and The Downright Idiotic

A Wiatt Nicholson Analysis

YOU GUYS HAVE NO IDEA HOW LONG I HAVE WAITED TO VERBALLY KILL THIS DUDE. I HAVE BEEN STRANGLING HIM WITH MY MIND SINCE THE COLLAPSE OF THE BUILDING. AND THIS IS WHY.

DISCLAIMERS!! : One, I have absolutely nothing against any of the writers on this show! You all are doing a fantastic job for how small this series is and I do genuinely adore the work you guys do < 3. Second, I want to make it clear that I do not condone anything Sara has done on her own terms. And she has done bad things on her own terms. She has done horrible things and I do not think that should be brushed under the rug. I do, however, believe her to be redeemable. 

(side note I did get a lil sidetracked when talking about sara, whom I also have strong feelings towards and'll prolly get her own rant in the future)

What has Wiatt done?

Now Wiatt seems to have his heart in the right place, however good intentions hardly amount to much when your actions directly cause death, suffering, and irreversible damage.  

He can’t tell that so much of what’s going on is because Litho knows he’s going to lead people directly into his own plans. This especially became evident in the last episode. Did he not remember the risks of anything relating to Litho?? Why on earth would he think it was safe for Pen, Lisa, or even Hayden whom narrowly survived? 

I know by this point to take everything character’s say with a grain of salt (and I know this isn’t directly Wiatt’s fault either), but I really wanna get into what Hayden said while yelling at Wiatt. He states that since he arrived at dreamworld, someone has gone missing every week. Wiatt has worked here for at least a year. Even considering taking a month off for the collapse fiasco, that is 47 weeks. 47 people. THAT IS INSANE. Even cutting that number in half for hyperbole’s sake that’s still 23 missing people since Wiatt started. Jesus christ man. 

What else has he done? He broke Starlight after recklessly jumping into a hole, got wtdw!rainbott seemingly mindwiped, recorded entirely private and frankly unrelated moments and UPLOADED them, been responsible for the deaths of his coworkers (to name a few anyways), and what does he have to show for it? A police station that thinks he’s insane. He couldn’t possibly have been more tactless trying to convince them to begin an investigation. 

It seems he thinks that because the people he’s against are bad, that automatically makes him good - in the right - but he is so blinded by his sense of a binary wrong and right he fails to see the horrible things he himself has caused. 

Against the Antagonist

I wanna talk about Sara for a second. From what we’ve learned thus far, and I know we haven’t gotten all that many Sara scenes, almost all of what Sara does seems to be attempting to clean up a mess she made many years ago, in comparison to Wiatt who does absolutely nothing but stir the pot.

Sara is stuck here; she is bound to Litho and cannot escape no matter how hard she wants to. She had friends. She’s doing what Litho wants because she has to. We saw what happened when she tried to defy him. Wiatt is only here because of one connection, but could literally leave whenever he wants no harm no foul.

Now the Norman thing I am curious about, because so far, I can’t figure out why 1. she killed him in the first place and certainly 2. why she kept the footage of it. She never seemed to hate Norman, if anything she would be against him for clearly being infatuated with Andrew, and I can’t really blame her for that? I mean nothing is enough to justify murder, but it wouldn’t be in cold blood. I’m also assuming this is before Dreamworld Entertainment due to the fact that Norman seemingly had no involvement. Another odd thing not only was he rebuilt to look exactly like he did when he was alive, but he retained all of his memories as well, and was given a higher power among the staff of Watchful Eye Toys, with memory control himself.

Whatever happened during his death must have been important.

But back to Wiatt. All of Sara actions, albeit terrible, were calculated and she did what she believed was necessary. Wiatt has no concept that his actions have consequences, so all he does is messy things up, making everything far worse than it needed to be.

Why should I care? (Comparison to Eric)

At the very beginning when Eric is first introduced, we are given no reason to care at all about him. I mean, we know he was friends with Lewis but that’s not enough to really grow any attachment to him. We start learning little facts about him, but when it really clicks is during the secret tapes.

Seeing Eric outside of the main plot, his real personality, his hopes, his dreams, his struggles starting from a young age up until how he is today. We’re given the chance to build connections with him and see him as a real person, a character with depth. Knowing his motivations and what built him makes it so easy to grow extremely attached, making any horrific things hit much harder.

Now moving back to Wiatt, we really don’t get to see the real him. We see him once interacting with Lewis, but even that was simply for plot relevance. We really know nothing about him. Even his transition, which would be so easy to capitalize on seeing as the viewership of Dreamworld is highly LGBTQ+, and many people would relate. But we get more about Mike’s transition than Wiatt, and he’s only ever had one real scene as himself.

That’s not even dipping into who Wiatt is as a person. What are his passions? Who are his loved ones outside of just Lewis? What was school like for him? What got him into the mechanic business? Who took care of him after his parents died? I understand this can be hard to smoothly integrate into a story but look how well it worked with Eric’s tapes.

Now this is getting much more into the writing side of the show, but I think something that's kind of lacking is character building filler. As much as having a concise plot is nice, without scenes or even full episodes dedicated to fleshing out our cast, it makes it really difficult to connect.

There’s so so much of his character to explore that we just never get into, and it kinda makes it hard to root for him when there’s nothing backing his character. Just like, a few more tapes of Wiatt would be plenty, something outside of Lewis. I would love to see his relationships with other characters (you cannot build a sense of character off one single relationship), how he views himself, just anything.

Its incredibly difficult to analyze a character when they seemingly have no depth.

In Conclusion

I am not a fan of Wiatt as it currently is (understatement of the year), but good god am I persuadable. I just want Dreamworld to give me a reason to root for him. Something to sympathize with, relate to. Have him improve. Allow him to realize his mistakes, and become a better person for that.

I don’t think he’s a lost cause.

But give me a reason to believe that.

#now yall can have whatever opinions you want #if you still like wiatt whatever it's not my problem do whatever you want lmao #but holy #fucking #shit #he makes my blood BOIL #I hope my thoughts are coherent enough to explain that #anyways have a lovely day< 333 #except for wiatt #fuck you #/hj #rant #ramble #analysis #character analysis #wtdw #welcome to dreamworld #wiatt #wiatt wtdw #wiatt welcome to dreamworld

[i-will-say-what-i-believe]

Okay. Fact time.

OS never cared about Buddie.

All he cared about was him getting importance over everyone else.

Its evident from all his interviews till s6. And now, that fact is just getting justified further.

Guy says he always played Buck as bi. But the fact is, he didn't.

That bi possibility ONLY came out when he was with Eddie & maybe TK. Not with any other man. AND OS was over the moon for mortalia being "THE couch" 🤢🤮 which completely eliminates the viability of his claim that he ALWAYS wanted Buck's sexuality explored.

Guy says the people who don't like Tommy & this plot are people who doesn't know how a story works.

And he does!? Because if he did, he wouldn't just dismiss the loyalty of one of the biggest fandoms after Destiel that kept the show in the forefront of social media all these years. If it was 1 person thinking so, it can be a mistake. There's LITERALLY tens of thousands of fans who have found Buddie on the show. Even when they had no idea about the ship before watching the show & realizing "wait....are they a thing!!??" out of the blue.

No wonder there are a lot of Buddie shippers who are hurt by his attitude, quitting the show. Not because they're h*moph*bic. But because he's been dismissing them & all the subtext that the show has thrown at them all these years without an inch of shame of taking advantage of it for all that time.

If he's so arrogant enough to think he alone can run the show, it won't be long until that ship sinks. Especially when the arrogance is directed to fans, the people who LITERALLY pay his bills, because if we don't watch his work, he'd be jobless.

People have been desperately grasping at straws with all the interviews he's been giving..."he knows something", "of course he can't straight up say he wants buddie... common", "that was a very good way of answering the question" etc etc.

Guess what... it WASN'T the best way to answer SUCH AN IMPORTANT question.

Of course he could say what he wanted. It wasn't like the interviewer asked what was going to happen.

I have always thought his quick answer of "I'm open to it" is SO ODD. Because THAT is not how someone who wants it will talk about it. I have felt it from the beginning. The first Ryliver live. That itself had sealed the deal that ALTHOUGH people desperately WANT Ryan to be the one OPPOSING Buddie (because that's the ONLY way that their h*te towards him will be justified), Ryan was the one who chose the ship name & talked about how Buddie is getting shipped every second. OS kept mum even then. His expressions & body language changed. As if he isn't so into it.

THAT has been going on every damn time Buddie was mentioned in interviews. As if he's not so keen to do it.

Let me say...his body language screams he didn't want to do the Timmy Turner kiss too. He's uncomfortable af. If you remove your "OMG OS is amazing" glasses off & view it as a critic, you'll get it in a second. He just seems to be in it because, again, his character is getting importance.

Among the 911 cast, there's no one MORE concerned about THEIR position, THEIR role, THEIR screen time etc as much as OS does. He'd promote the hell out of the lamest things if it meant he'll get attention . That's what happened in s6. Taking unethical advantage of the fandom's couch theory & promoting the mortalia track like a giddy kid & being over enthusiastic about "in another life"....all were the cry for attention. And the fandom fell for it.

THAT is what's happening now too. Plus he's copying words from other actors to make his "story" more interesting lol.

Anyway....guy has become more arrogant than he already was.

Arrogance NEVER ends well. History has it proved.

PS: People can try grasping at straws to support the guy & put him on a pedestal because he's a tantrum king. But don't @ me on this with your straws. Won't work. I don't like arguing with blind fans because you wouldn't EVER see sense even if it is ALL SHOVED ON YOUR FACE.

Truth is bitter & y'all are just proving it lol🤣

#911 on abc #oliver stark #oliver stark is not a saint #buddie #evan buckley #don't @ me on this #i won't respond

[jamrockshuffle]

tes·​ta·​ment noun a: a tangible proof or tribute b: an expression of conviction

spotify link / image credit

izzy hands playlist; annotations, tracklist, and details under the cut

Updated 10/16/2023: literally so much manchester orchestra towards the end. but it's MY playlist I'll do what I want

A lot of kind of emotional, dark, passionate ed/izzy in this. So just keep that in mind :) This playlist was started last year. I think all of the songs fit still, but if you're looking for the more season 2 oriented content, I will mark the songs added since it aired. Hope you enjoy! It's nearly six hours I think I have a disease.

As per the uzsh the genres run the gambit. don't say I didn't warn you - All This Time / The Beta Machine

When you rose up this morning Did you take it for granted That I'd be there when you woke? That I'd still be there when you woke? [...] If you want me to adore you Better get up off the floor now I've said all I've had to say But maybe there's some better way

- Lost at Sea / Kellermensch

The war is over and I lost I learned the hard way not to trust It's getting easier every day To watch you slip further away

- You Should Have Known I'd Leave / Vast

Love is cold Love is blind Love is a sea And I don't know what you want But I know it's not me

- Blown Minded / Young Galaxy

In my heart I have lived without aught It's been the war of attrition Between a small-minded fool And sublime intuition

- Breathe / Puscifer

honestly lads I don't know what to say it just goes ok sorry

- Holy My Hand / UNKLE

- Touched / Vast

The razors and the dying roses Plead I don't leave you alone The demi-gods and hungry ghosts Oh god, god knows I'm not at home I'll never find someone quite like you, again I'll never find someone quite like you, again

- The Rat / Dead Confederate

This fucking song. I added it over a year ago but holy shit, has season 2 made it that much crazier. Honestly the entire song is just so... i don't even know what to tell ya tbh I would paste the whole song here if I could Shoot from the back And take good aim Make sure I'm dead Bang Bang 'Cause I'm a rat There's no mistake Under the bed Where you sleep Crush the skull And make me tame Sweep it up Hide it away No morals shown In no way explained Stupid human Shit for brains I am going feral over this song and how it slides in so neatly for season 2 so far (as of posting this, episode 3) I'll follow you Into the grave And at the gates I see the passing say "The judge be judged And all the wretched be saved" I throw my curse All across your days <3 ty for coming to my ted talk

- Lovesong / Snake River Conspiracy

might be a little controversial since it's a cover of the original by the cure, but this is more the kind of music I tend to listen to so that's what's in the playlist lol.

- Structure of Love II (Renholdër Remix) / VOWWS

Take a look at me now Have I disappeared? Is this the structure of love? Are you in here? I can't get you out of my mind Your love is so hard to define

- Tusk / Fleetwood Mac

I've said it before, I'll say it again. PERFECT edizzy song. If you think this is a stede/ed song you're wrong get the fuck outta here

- Bleak / Death Machine

Hold my breath Known I am one of the walking dead you say In my chest, there is a bombing It's made of flesh it's made of flesh

- The End Is Begun / 3

Watch what you say Words can be heard from your grave Pluck from a fist full of straws You cannot resist your tragic flaws And you said what you said That I'd be better off dead Than be fed into the furnace Of the monster Shall I cry, shall I die Shall I be shot through the sky As I fly into the furnace Of the monster

- Breadwinner / BEA1991

- Martyr / Roniit, Saint Mesa

Drop all your hunger, kill your dues So give me shelter, give me proof I'll be the martyr and the muse All of your sorrow, I'll consume

- Man Overboard / Puscifer

- Ennoea / Keluar

- Complicated End Times / O'Brother

You can try and measure what I do By the sweat in my brow But you don’t know a thing about me You want to snuff the fire out

- Goliath / Woodkid

A sustained heart pain and a dark fever How did I get fooled by such a savage curse? The more I forgive you, the more it backfires Now you're dancing through the smoke like nothing else matters

- Beat And The Pulse / Austra

- Spellwork / Austra

I work alone saving my soul If yesterday hurts, tomorrow is worse Send me a sign, for my body's aligned I'm ready to waste all my limbs and my face My pores are wide open And bleed for your potion Spellwork and lies

- Feral Love / Chelsea Wolfe

Your eyes black like an animal Black like an animal Crossing the water Lead them to die

- Drift / So Below

Even if you change your mind It doesn't have to mean that it's over Even when the moment's gone I feel the same Even when you bite your tongue It doesn't have to mean that it's over Even if it all goes wrong I feel the same way, hey

- Dancer in the Dark / Scratch Massive

Where did you go? My mind is gone I'm dancing in the dark Just silent and grey It's just silent and grey

- The More I Sleep, The Less I Dream / We Were Promised Jetpacks

I lost all hope I left it with someone, some time, somewhere ago And I picture it now The house on the hill, with nobody wandering around And I cry like hell I'm hugging the floor and pretending there's somebody else The more I sleep The less I dream The closer I feel Oh my word I'm nothing but a curse Oh my word I'm nothing but a-

- Ship in a Bottle / fin

Oh, captain, let's make a deal Where we both say the things that we both really feel I feel scared and I'm starting to sink And I only sink deeper the deeper I think

- Toma / Puscifer

Stole my patience, stole my pride Snatched the rhythm from my stride Kicked my certainty up the middle Knocked the wind out of my romantic side Hopes and wishes set aflame What's your purpose here, whatcha hope to gain? Took my dignity, you took my dignity Burned a lover so earned an enemy

- The Shore / Woodkid

I walked all day along the shore I was made for loving you I drown my pain in alcohol How could you feel the same way too? My feet will not walk anymore So I guess you ought to know the truth I wonder what I am made for If I'm not meant to be with you

- Restless (16BL Remix) / UNKLE, Josh Homme

Well, I'm all restless but I don't care You don't like me much, well, me neither You go read my mind like some kind of God You live, let's have you trippin' on the same one you lost

- Ship To Wreck / Florence + The Machine

And, ah, my love remind me, what was it that I said? I can't help but pull the earth around me to make my bed And, ah, my love remind me, what was it that I did? Did I drink too much? Am I losing touch? Did I build a ship to wreck?

- Lies / CHVRCHES

Always, we can sing, we can make time Old songs, flood and flame, you could be mine But you got to show me both knees, skin and bone Clothe me, throw me, move me 'til I can sell you lies You can't get enough Make a true believer of Anyone, anyone, anyone I can call you up If I feel alone I can feed your dirty mind Like I know, like I know what you want

- The End / The Beta Machine

A million miles away from you this time I'll do what it takes I'm on my way If lines are in the sand I'll go under If I can make it in time I will bring you back with me If all that's left of you is in my head This is more than a bad dream The end of all I know

- Jealous Sea / MEG MYERS

This whole song... like bruh lmfao Everything's right, everything's wrong When you call my name I can't handle the thought of always being gone When I'm wearing this ring And I want to go out, I want to get drunk Being in love and I don't want to fight But nothing makes sense anymore And I don't think I can stop the jealousy When it comes, it comes like waves and I can't breathe And I don't think I can stop the jealousy When it runs, it runs like lightening through my teeth I want you to tell me what to do I want you to tell me what you need When you look at me like you do Don't leave, I just can't get enough I just can't get enough

- Holy Water / Zippermouth

I don't want you to save me from the demons only you seem to see But don't you dare take my pride away and strip me of my sanity I'm calling all of you out I'm calling out of you in To the party of unnatural sin And my imperfections scare you, I can see it in your eyes Water That burns my bastard mind 'Cause I can love as good as one can love someone In a perfect world is one I will love myself before I will love you

- Die For You / VALORANT, Grabbitz

Now there's only one thing I can do Fight until the end like I promised to Wishing there was something left to lose This could be the day I die for you

- Choke / Hybrid

I'm not explaining myself to you

- Give It Up / Black City Lights

The fever's own Filling in my bones and my blood It's enough But I still can't take it off It's sickening Hands around my neck And my chest is burning with my breathing

- Elijah / Blood Red Shoes

- Love You Wrong / Husky Loops

I've thought about it all along I am sure I love you wrong

- Autumn / Bear In Heaven

Silent romance guided by chance, just like everything Altogether would it ever suffocate the pain?

- Hands On The Bible / Local H

Hands on the Bible Scared like a child God holds you liable For what you've done Homicidal Stared down your idols A pretty baby Never born You can't believe it You didn't mean it But they saw you do it And they know your name

- Touch / July Talk

I want to make some space underneath my skin Cut me open, I can let you in Should I let myself be torn in two? And will you give into that side of you?

- Avalanche / Kosheen

He's nothing like me So wrong and wretched Your safe reality Is living in sketches And live out happiness With no explanation And peer out at the world

- A Long Time Away / Shearwater

A break in the clouds like a crack in a cylinder But now there's blood on the beach and a wreck in the water As the shadow arrives on the face of your innocence You feel the shock in your eyes and the shaking in your own hands

- It's No Good / Depeche Mode

Don't say you want me Don't say you need me Don't say you love me It's understood Don't say you're happy Out there without me I know you can't be 'Cause it's no good

- Always Right / Ramona Falls

God is in the things you love So don't you punch me with kid gloves

- No Tomorrow / The Birthday Massacre

Dedication to the ruin of the light within you Darkness all around It's so easy to let go of all the things that make you true Watch it all fall down You bait me, I follow And if this night feels hollow Then drown me in sorrow There will be no tomorrow

- Flood / Saltillo

I wanna watch you wreck all the paintings in my house As you run down my wall (Holes of my life) Wash away these things I never needed These papers and these clothes

- The Remedy / Puscifer

izzy @ stede bonnet tbh. well, in season 1 at least ;)

- Little One / Beck

Drown, drown, sailors run aground In a sea change, nothing is safe And strange waves push us every way In a stolen boat, we'll float away

- Becker / Autolux

That's delirium's way You know it seems so right All the entertainment they spray Atrocities contrite It brings you back again It finds you every time The blackest quote they spit into the tin can of your mind

- Eyelids / Saro

In my eyelids, I’ve tattooed your words To remember what I don’t deserve Could you be why I feel so empty?

- Found You / Django Django

I've heard my name spoken in vain so many times You called, well here I am, what is yours is mine There's nothing you won't sell But I don't want the wealth you made That's not what I returned for

- Darkness At The Heart Of My Love / Ghost

There's a darkness at the heart of my love That runs cold, runs deep

- Dangerous / Son Lux

I watch you fall Hollow and depleted A city razed Oh, to bury you beneath it

- Numb / MARINA

- Fear and Loathing / MARINA

- O My Heart / Mother Mother

And I throw my heart back to the ocean But it don't go far, it come back floating And I watch it wash it up with the dead fish But it ain't quite dead, it just is like this

- Bones / The Qemists, Kellermensch

Fearless: my heart Open my arms Laying on the dark isle Every way is down

- El Monstro / SkraeckOedlan

(There beyond the dawn we see you, but our longing is an agony) Där bortom gryningen vi ser dig, men våran längtan är ett kval (They have robbed you of your future, we belong together you and I) De har berövat dig din framtid, vi hör tillsammans du och jag

- Relocate / Kauf

Do you feel any better now? I'm trying to follow what you told me I'm just a dog, mystical empathy and carefree I can't forget the skin pulled tight, every letter read Is it your justice we never see? Do you feel any better now? Your father is lying where the bones are A little lost colony from the start I can't forget the skin pulled tight, every letter read Is it your justice we never see? We never see what only you can say We are ready for it

-> SONGS ADDED AFTER SEASON 2 STARTS HERE

- Before We Drift Away / Nothing But Thieves

- A Place To Call Home / Big Wreck

So how do you beg for what's your own Pick the pieces, lick the wounds Stoke the fire, fan the flame Squeeze the clouds until it rains Would you champion the cause? 'Til you find out what you've lost Who do you dare to call your own And where's the place that you call home?

- My Name Is Ruin / Gary Numan

My name is Ruin, my name is vengeance My name is no one, and no one is calling My name is Ruin, my name is heartbreak My name is lonely, my sorrow's a darkness

- Run From Me / Timber Timbre

- Symphony No. 7 in A Major, Op. 92: II. Allegretto / Beethoven

- Because the Night / Patti Smith

- Dear Brother / Puscifer

Reminiscing on our indestructible days The party never seemed to end We donkey punched the night away Some risky business, my friend Fortune seemed to favor us 'Round every dark and twisted bend

- The Moth / Manchester Orchestra

This song makes me so insane tbh Forced myself to take a different name Buried with metonymy Decide for me Throw the man you used to be away Bury him with rivalry entirely My entire life you've been obsessing with the light The closer that you get, the further up you've got to climb You wanna hear it hurt, you wanna feel it when he dies If you walk that path alone, you've got to look him in the eye

- Brevony / Ramona Falls

- Graveyard Shift / Battle Tapes

I fell asleep at the helm of a runaway train And laid myself at the feet of what I couldn't slay

- Black Cloud / POSTDATA

There's nothing outside, there’s nobody left There's nowhere to hide, nowhere to run or to forget No one to find you if you ever tried to And nobody tries to Sand in the sky, drowning in the wind Look in my eyes, mama, I've been contaminated Little by little by little, just a little bit Can you forgive me? Can you forgive me?

- Keel Timing / Manchester Orchestra

Yet another song that makes me insane. I put too much Manchester Orchestra in here but I'm living my best life Don’t let 'em in your bed, we're lying Don't let 'em in your bed, he is lying Little more, a little more, he is biting I was folding slowly frozen Changed for you And it wasn't right, but it wasn't wrong It was holy

- Pale Black Eye / Manchester Orchestra

This entire Song is so fucking wild I don't have yours or mine I don't hurt you like I used to Amy, you must be tired cause when you sleep, you sleep alone And understand the throne Cause if he didn't pay what he had paid I'd undeniably become erased So whatever you want Take whatever you need And bite your veins Bleed your pain Into me Goddamn I'm tired of lying I wish I loved you like I used to So hold on, you pale black eye Cause when I sleep, I sleep alone

- Strawberry Letter 23 / Shuggie Otis

- Pygmy Love Song / Francis Bebey

- In The Dark / Cathedrals

I can see you fall apart You turn away and fade out of sight But I hear you call in the night Let it go, let me hold you this time (don’t say a word)

- The Sailor Song / Autoheart

ty @soundless-storm for the suggestion :) I was your sailor, your demon, your lover Your overbearing best friend Hoping for some attention

- Megalomaniac / Aeseaes

Eye to thigh as he sharpens his blade Thick sweat, sick salt, lead bellyaches I don’t know what I’ve been drinking Dripping dread as all the lights start scrеaming Seven-inch steel bolt fed to thе head Now is then and I am now bound to forget The devil wears a cotton dress over his gun Jagged mumbles wispy warbles blushing in the sun

- Rule #9 - Child of the Stars / Fish in a Birdcage

You were a wanderer Back when you were young I remember your eyes were clear Brighter than the sun With hands so soft Delicate and sweet You learned to fall And balance on your own two feet I could only lead you so far I believe in who you are

- Vessel / Dan Mangan + Blacksmith

There are other lyrics in this song that are good too but this just reminds me of 2x01 when Izzy tells Fang to unhand him when he starts to cry Stop Wait Un Hand Me

- Cover Me / Black Math

One hand above the skin My head below the water As I float in the deep As I float in the deep

- Let It Storm / Manchester Orchestra

This is very post 2x04. For the new unicorn :) I don't wanna hold back my faith anymore I don't wanna fall into that man again I just wanna keep both my feet on the floor So let it touch me And let it storm

- Disciple / IAMX

Sorry this song is kind of a lot lol Disciple, I absolve you So forgive yourself enough to obey the naked truth That you need to be owned And you beg to be controlled

- Bed Head / Manchester Orchestra

This song is SO season 2 ed/izzy it makes me so insane it's the entire fucking song tbh I'm posting most of the song lyrics sorry. "Bed Head" is two old friends existing in two separate realities. It's a conversation about the lives they lived, the consequences of life's decisions, and finding purpose in trying to be better. Arguing with the dead I'm not alone but it sure feels like someone left Deaf notes and talking heads Carrying on your debt Blood on the bed head and volumes you left unsaid Let 'em talk and let it habit, now I'm afraid you're alone Oh, my God Let me relinquish and start to distinguish my past, and my time You and I are oil and fire, so Oh, my God Let me extinguish the habit, the sequence, the loss in my mind Now I believe in the ghost Ghost Clawing against your skin Clutching my neck said, "It's all supposed to end like this" You and I are panoramic Now I'm afraid of the ghost [...] Right by the entrance, you broke Finally, reality's taking its hold You're not who you were, but you can't let it go You're not where you're from, but you're always alone So I stick a flag in the ground I think I know who I'm living for now I am what I am, same above as the ground It's not what I want, but I'm figuring it out

I'll keep updating the annotations as I have free time :) the playlist is almost 80 songs long and growing lol. Enjoy!

#ofmd #our flag means death #izzy hands #fanmix #thanks for coming to my ted talk once again #i'm feral #blackhands #edizzy #listen I know they're going thru it rn but don't @ me I'm fine

[starsreminisce]

I never understood why Feyre is labeled as E/riel shipper when after acowar she never mentioned them ever again. she even talked about Lucien's glove to Elain and how she should use them to not get her hands hurt in her bonus chapter. or how in acofas Feyre kept encouraging the two to talk that Mor told her to get out of their business and let them deal with it themselves!! I think she stopped engaging the idea after Rhys told her so but I'm not sure, what I'm sure about is she never thought about Elain with Azriel after acowar.

or how they keep saying she will be mad at Rhys for stopping them while Rhys other than proving Az only wanting Elain for sex, he brought up some good political reason that could put their court in danger AND most importantly their baby! do they really think she wouldn't also be mad at Az for putting them in danger bc he was horny?

It's probably because they tend to cling to the one part that validates their belief without giving much thought to the context that surrounds it.

The same reason why they would say Azriel "wouldn't go so far as to call Gwyn a friend" is because that's verbatim from his chapter. This completely ignores the fact that he didn't correct Clotho about his relationship with Gwyn or express how he felt after the necklace was given away.

Feyre asked why they weren't matched, similar to Azriel's inquiry about why the third sister wasn't assigned to him.

However, you should also consider why she didn't want it to be Lucien. She held anger and weariness towards him for what transpired in the Spring Court.

Despite this, she continued to encourage Elain to get to know Lucien. She even went as far as showing her trust in Lucien again after the war and nudged Elain, who then invited him to live with them again.

She specifically pointed out how, throughout the rest of the year, Lucien was willing to turn a blind eye to those he had every reason to hate and be angry with, all to offer them help.

Azriel only said coldly, “If Lucien kills Graysen, then good riddance.” ... Lucien had encountered him, I realized. Somehow, in living with Jurian and Vassa at that manor, he’d run into Elain’s former betrothed. And managed to leave the human lord breathing.

Feyre observes Lucien literally fighting against his instincts.

She mentioned the lack of communication between Elain and Lucien but didn't mention the time Azriel and Elain spent together.

Feyre didn't ask Elain for her opinion on Azriel, remind her to reject the bond, or reinforce her belief that Elain and Azriel were a better match, even after their lengthy conversation during Solstice, especially in front of Rhys.

Feyre, Nesta, Cassian, and Rhys have all noticed and mentioned something about the Elucien dynamic that we, as readers, need to know.

But little about Elain and Azriel other than it's weird.

Even Nesta's observation over Azriel's brooding at Solstice:

Then his gaze shifted to Elain, and though it was utterly neutral, something charged went through it. Between them. Elain’s breath caught slightly, and she gave him a shallow nod of greeting before brushing past, leading Nesta into the room. Mor lounged on a green velvet couch before the fireplace;

Nesta didn't say anything about this exchange but she did have something to say about this:

Elain, the wretch, had taken the seat between Feyre and Varian, about as far from Lucien as she could get.

I also don't think that Nesta knows how Azriel felt about Elain either.

Azriel lingered near the door, quiet enough that when Feyre and Mor began talking about some of her paintings, Nesta went over to him. “Why don’t you sit?” She leaned against the doorway beside the shadowsinger. “My shadows don’t like the flames so much.” A pretty lie. She’d seen Azriel before the fire plenty. But she looked at who sat close to it and knew the answer.

I find it interesting that Nesta talked about exactly where Mor was sitting (in front of the fireplace), and it was Feyre and Mor who were conversing before she went up to Azriel. There was no mention of what Elain was doing at that time or how close to the fire she was sitting.

This once again highlights how E/riels tend to invalidate just how deeply Azriel felt for Mor and blatantly ignore all the obvious signs of his attraction to her, all in favor of their preferred ship.

Mor and Azriel had four books of in-your-face buildup as well, but it seems like SJM has made it now mean nothing.

Shadows darkened his eyes, full of enough pain that she couldn’t stop herself from touching his shoulder. Letting him see that she understood why he stood in the doorway, why he wouldn’t go near the fire. His secret to tell, never hers.

It's worth noting that Nesta's observation wasn't about her figuring out that Azriel liked Elain. Instead, it was her acknowledgment that Azriel was standing back, likely because he was hurt about something, and when he was ready to speak about it, he would.

If most of their "evidence" is based on events up to ACOSAF, and there is limited evidence from ACOSF, except of his bonus chapter that's canon for Elain but not for Gwyn with the exception of half a sentence, that's a pretty telling sign to me that SJM is moving away from that pairing. Conversely, in almost every instance where Lucien is mentioned, there is some form of connection to Elain, reminding us that SJM has not forgotten about them.

The only person who did take notice of E/riel was Rhys and had something definitive to say.

Considering how the inner circle typically reacts when Rhys says something, his words carry much more significant weight.

After all, even Feyre understood and forgiven Rhys for keeping the pregnancy risk hidden from her.

#elain x lucien #elucien #pro elucien #antie/riel #feyre is an elucien #so is rhys #so is the entire inner circle #cherrypicking canon never works out

[hitsuzenhusbands]

hey! i hope you're having a good day! i just read your (amazing!) asoue fic "ashes to ashes," and i was fascinated by the way you portrayed kit and olaf. i thought i'd send this ask because i'd really love to hear more of your thoughts on their dynamic if you feel like sharing? but if you don't feel like expanding on it, i totally understand! thank you so much for sharing your beautiful work on ao3!

OHH anon you are so kind...i apologize for being so extremely late but i just finished writing a little analysis so i figured now's about the right time to write a semi-legible response. might have been scary and incomprehensible otherwise. but i am finally here to scream and cry and thank you so desperately because im SO happy you enjoyed them AND decided to ask for more info! <3

to begin, i'd be absolutely inconsolable if i didn't point you towards @virginian-wolfsnake's fic the eye of the storm, probably one of my fave k&o fics of all time that delves into the meat of their relationship through the years from the perspective of kit. they're young and still excited by missions and flirty and tender and genuine, and, in time, when the rest of their world collapses, so do they--messy and tense and so wonderfully realistic you have to read it and then read it again. honestly, if you don't want to read the rest of this but still want an answer, just read that. but also read it anyway

and now i have to ask you to forgive me...i have not read the books in a very long time and while i know the netflix series (in comparison) is bad and awful and terrible, i have watched it a million times. so if i'm wrong on anything. that's why.

to begin, the version of olaf i depicted in my fic is at the height of his...how do you say...pathetic misery. not including the spiral he has during the series. to me, the death of his parents are the beginning of his downfall into something-like-insanity, but he's still (and will continue to be) recognizably himself, if that makes sense. he's always been messy and emotional and dramatic (see the line: "...Kit has seen him in worse states and with a much better view..."), but only now does he reveal not a different side of himself per se, but a different angle of one that already existed.

im a fervent believer that olaf's always been a little self destructive and a lot crazy. hes spent the greater half of his life coming to terms with the fact that he is intrinsically not as noble as the rest of vfd--hes impulsive and obnoxious and self-obsessed, barely even literate at times--and it takes a special kind of guy to carve the insignia of the organization full of people he despises into his own front door. still, his parents' death was a catalyst, meaning he wasn't entirely opposed to vfd beforehand. he probably liked the missions and the secrecy and the dramatics, obviously the disguises and everything, but i think before the night at the opera it was really just a source of fun for him. he never truly grasped the reality of it, the nature of his actions and the weight of his involvement. whether that was out of naivety or pure neglect of the facts is up for debate. (there's a little bit of this in the shattering of thalia and melpomene if that interests you at all, beloved anon. see the line: "...[Esme] could never compare to the extent to which [Olaf] removes himself from everyone else entirely. How he spends so much time worrying about himself he almost forgets to worry about himself...Esme could never truly get lost in her own greatness. Could never turn a blind eye to the inner workings of V.F.D.")

kit, on the other hand, definitely did. serving as a volunteer was her purpose, the sole thing she had to cling to. she dedicated her life to it, making conscious decisions to go against her moral code in the hope that it all truly was for a greater good. i think, at times, she could fall into her own little fits of self-destruction, putting vfd above herself entirely (see the line: "This wouldn’t be the first time she’d done something she would never truly volunteer for...he’d still spent year after year watching her run off...to do something she could never speak of." "...she still returned with clenched teeth and knit eyebrows, as though she had no choice in the matter at all.")

to avoid any more convolution, in my mind it goes something like this: both are volunteers--olaf born and raised (along with beatrice), kit torn from her family and thrust into the thick of it so early on its all she knows. they grow up, probably-definitely know each other but dont know each other until, say, late teens-early twenties?

up until then, they've been everything previously described, but intermingling with one another changes this. olaf's easygoing approach rubs off on kit, partly because she finds more joy in his company than in missions, partly because he makes every attempt to keep her from leaving. i like to think she tries to keep his relatively flimsy moral code in check, or at the very least restrain his temper to the best of her abilities.

to me, they're a simultaneously great and terrible couple. at their best, they counteract each other in a positive way as described above and serve as a welcome distraction from the realities of a crumbling vfd, a little island of tenderness and domesticity in the ocean of turmoil that surrounds them.

and at their worst, their personalities combat so violently it's hard to see how they ever could have been together. olaf deals out the worst of it, prone to neglect and self-isolation, a deeply inset refusal to discuss anything with her, an inclination towards firestarting and an increasingly poor reputation with everyone kit knows. then again, kit isn't free of blame (if you can call it that), she's just as opposed to talking anything out as he is, and her isolation takes on the shape of running off to do as many missions as as she can before she's dead on her feet. she's pulled in different directions--a well-instilled hatred towards firestarers, only further influenced by whatever rumours olaf's growing list of enemies supplies her, versus her love for him, her knowledge of who he really is, a concept that is often tested. (see the line: "He’s reminded of a fight they once had, about something or other, that ended in her angry admission that it was easier to be upset with him when he wasn’t nearby.") 

anyway, the idea is they grow further and further apart both ideologically and physically/relationship-wise until the opera night and the crash following that (see: the whole fic!) and from then on i think they fall into something like an evil situationship. they barely see each other, complete opposite sides of the schism. i say situationship because i think when they do see each other (on missions, at events/in public, in private, etc.) it is just a terrible experience no matter what. they're both torn between hating the other for what they know about them/what they did (i like to think olaf finds out about kit supplying the darts) and reminiscing/yearning for what they once had.

for the sake of this i wont give my thoughts on whose baby kit has because that's a whole other thing (not really. its just more of a fun hc i think about on occasion as opposed to something concrete in canon or even my version of canon) but their scene in the end does make me insane. its a culmination of all the time spent wishing what happened didnt happen, almost as though theyre seeing each other for the first time once again, perhaps not blind to the past but looking away for (on olafs part) one final moment of normalcy.

i hope thats what you were looking for to any degree, anon. im a little rusty on my lore but they matter to me soo much. if i have to leave this on anything, its go read eye of the storm. kitlaf fic of all time.

#im so sorry this took approximately one million years #i hope it suffices anon... #also i hope its ok to tag u out of the blue my wonderful mutual #that fic is so good....makes me crazy everytime i think abt it #asoue #a series of unfortunate events #count olaf #kit snicket #kitlaf #answered asks #analysis #fic posting

[yurayuramiharin]

Ruthari #7 for the prompt? 👀

Ship + kiss writing challenge

7: A kiss to shut up

When the two elves were heading back to their sleepy village, the horizon was glowing with pinks and violets of the incoming sunrise. They’d been out all night, watching Moonstriders on a secluded clearing by the waterfall and strolling through the Moonshadow Forest trembling with the magic of the Spring Equinox. 

Ever since they’d left the clearing, Ethari was silent, so silent that Runaan, the least talkative elf in Silvergrove, was starting to panic and making up the worst scenarios. He’d asked the young metalsmith for a hangout a few days ago when Lain had literally pushed him inside the forge and demanded that he finally asked Ethari out and quit his endless pining. Runaan would never dare to call it a date, let alone say it out loud. And certainly, he would never expect that Ethari would agree to hang out with him. 

In his head, Runaan thought that Ethari hated their hangout and would rather keep quiet about it than make Runaan sad. He should’ve planned this hangout better. Shadows, he didn’t even know if Ethari liked Moonstriders in the first place! Runaan should’ve known that not everyone was obsessed with Moonstriders as much as he was because regular elves were not necessarily interested in details of their behavior, when and where they migrated during the year, or how their age could be estimated by the slight differences in the color of their feathers–

“Runaan?” Ethari’s gentle voice struck him out of his thoughts. He rapidly turned his head towards the metalsmith, afraid that on top of everything, he'd upset Ethari by ignoring him. Instead, he saw Ethari smiling at him in a way that made his heart skip a beat every time.

"I was asking if you think they're going to be there next week too?" Ethari asked, continuing to walk leisurely next to Runaan.

"Y-yes, they should be there until mid-May," Runaan mumbled in response.

"I see," Ethari nodded before the silence fell between them again. Runaan couldn't bear it. He stopped and so did the other elf.

"Ethari, I… Please don't have to pretend you're enjoying this," Runaan stuttered. "I know you agreed to come only because you're too kind to refuse,"

"Runaan, I'm not pretending!" Ethari instantly protested but Runaan was too caught up in spilling his thoughts.

"I know that I can be annoying, t-that I don't usually talk, and when I do I mostly talk about Moonstriders or combat. And I know I don't always get the jokes you and Lain tell me," 

"Runaan…" 

"A-and even though I know you're the kindest elf in Silvergrove, I didn't expect you to agree to come to hang out with me like that, a-and you asked me if I know someplace special and this was the only— mmh!" Runaan was not allowed to finish his sentence when Ethari cradled his face in his hands and pressed their lips together. 

Just like that, the whole world around them went still. Runaan froze, too stunned to react when Ethari's soft lips kept moving against his own, and it felt nowhere near the way Runaan had pictured it in countless of his dreams. It felt even better, warmer, and sweeter than Moonberry Surprise and Runaan wished their kiss would never end.

In the end, Ethari pulled away from him but didn't let go of Runaan's face. He was looking at him with those deep brown orbs and Runaan had to remind himself how to breathe again when Ethari chuckled and shook his head with eyes closed. 

"Now that you finally shut up, listen to me," Ethari laughed, slowly stroking Runaan's cheekbones with his thumbs. "I loved our hangout, every second of it. I love when you tell me about Moonstriders, how your eyes light up whenever you do," Ethari spoke and Runaan could swear that if it wasn't for the rising sun blinding him from behind the trees, he would think that he'd eaten poisonous berries and was now hallucinating. 

"You're not annoying in the slightest. Even when you're not talking, you're a wonderful listener and it made me so happy when you invited me to come with you tonight. It was amazing and I was hoping we could do that again."

"E-eee…" Runaan tried to say something but it seemed like Ethari had temporarily taken away his ability to form coherent sentences. Ethari was practically grinning with delight now, his smile brighter than the sun before his eyes. 

"I take it as a 'yes' " Ethari whispered before he pulled Runaan's face closer once again, sealing their arrangement with a kiss. 

#ruthari #neurodivergent runaan #miharin writes

[shankschewtoy]

Hcs or scenario of Law falling for someone that is exactly like luffy pls & thank u 🙏💕

a/n - omg Luffy gives Law so much stress and anxiety lmao it’d be funny if he had an s/o like that too 😭

Warnings ⚠️ - g/n reader, law having crippling stress and anxiety, I put Luffy in here for no reason 💀

“You’re just like him.”

- It’s no wonder you’re best friends with Luffy-

- you two are so similar it’s crazy

- Luffy’s “friend” suffers from crippling anxiety and stress because of his shenanigans

- But with you, he can KIND OF tolerate you

- he doesn’t know why-

- dw you still give him anxiety 👍

- one (out of the many dumbass moments you’ve had) time you accidentally fell into the super tiny gap between your bed and the wall

- (I did this at 1 in the morning last night 💀)

- You didn’t even know how you fit in there, but the problem was that your limbs were all tangled in the weirdest positions ever

- and my god it hurt

- you managed to call Law since he usually saved your ass when stuff like this happened

- you were practically sounding like you were going to cry over the phone

- So Law immediately ran towards your home, banging down the door and running up the stairs as fast as he could

- He was having a mini heart attack- what if something was really wrong?!

- when he found you, he had the most dead-pan “you’re a dumbass” expression on his face

- mf just started to walk away at that point he’s done- 💀

- “WAIT LAW- PLEASE THIS REALLY HURTS-!”

- he struggled to pull you out since you were literally wedged in the crevice 🗿

- He had to lean all the way back, using his body weight before you finally slipped out

- You managed to fall straight on top of him, and law tried to hide his blushing cheeks 😭

- “get off me y/n.”

- You always had some kind of new scrape or bruise from being clumsy, so Law tried to fix every single thing on you

- he also lectures you 24/7 while knowing you don’t listen to shit he says 💀

- Man wants you to be safe, and worries about you a lot lmao

- also this is just a really dumb moment you had with your bestie Luffy

- you both decided it’d be so fun to try and swim in the ocean during the weekend

- (you both have devil fruit abilities)

- yeah. Guess how that went?

- Mhm. You drowned.

- FORTUNATELY- everyone else decided to tag along, and Law almost immediately saw you both drowning

- emo man can’t swim 🗿 so what’s he gonna do

- yea. PANIC (and shove people in to save you)

- Bitch literally shoved Zoro into the water to save you

- He also shoved in the simp love cook

- When Sanji came back with you in his arms, Law immediately performed a checkup on you, making sure you were breathing and everything

- (Zoro just stepped on Luffy, pushing the water out of his balloon stomach 💀)

——— >

——— >

- Yes, there was a rainbow ✨🌈

- Law was shouting at you for about 45 minutes 😭

- you give this man so much fucking stress and he doesn’t even know why he likes you so much

- he just- does

- He could yell at you over and over again and never get tired of you 🥺

- but still his anxiety got 10x worse once he met you 🗿

- pls stop giving him minor heart attacks

- I don’t think his body can take it anymore 💀

- ALSO- for the scenario, I think that both you and Luffy would be the worst drivers of the year so- yep 👌

—————— >

Scenario - “You’re going to be the death of me….” 💀

(This is a modern scenario :)

Law was silently reading a book, laying on the couch, happily enjoying the peace and quiet in his room. The book was interesting to him, it was one of his favorite comic books after all. Everything was great, it was peaceful, calm, and quiet. Until he heard tires screech outside. He almost threw his book in the air from being spooked like that. He opened the blinds of his room, and he saw you standing outside and waving your arms at his window. You were standing next to a quite- beat up car.. He sighed heavily, looks like his quiet moment was over before it even began.. He reluctantly opened the door, walking outside to meet your smiling face. “Y/n-ya, what are you doing with a car..?” He asked with a tired and confused expression. “I thought we could take it for a drive! Luffy said I’m a good driver.” You said pridefully, smiling up at him brightly. He knew he’d regret his decision.. But how could he say know to that sunshine of a smile you had? “Fine.” He replied quietly, getting into the passenger seat. You looked so happy and excited to show Law your “decent” driving skills.

Hopping into the drivers seat, you made Law had his seatbelt on first! That’s the first thing you learned- “safety first” right? Law sighed, buckling your seatbelt for you, “You have to put on a seatbelt..” He grumbled with an irritated tone. “Whoops.” You replied with a giggle, getting your hands on the wheel with determination and excitement in your eyes. It was almost as if you were sparkling with anticipation. Law found it cute, seeing how excited and determined you were to show him your driving skills.. But he was also holding onto his seatbelt for his life, making sure he wouldn’t fall out of the seat if anything were to happen. “Ok! Ready…? Set. GO!” You said, pressing on the gas pedal with most of your weight. The car wouldn’t move, and you looked so disappointed. Law almost started laughing, “Why won’t it go?!” You shouted, looking around, and tapping different buttons on the car. Law saw your keys sitting on the dashboard, and he sighed with a laugh at how panicked you looked. He grabbed them and started the car engine with the keys, “OHHHHHHH-!” You said with amazed eyes. “Thanks Law!” You shouted happily, now pushing your weight on the gas pedal.

But wait… Why was everything outside of the car moving in front of you? Wait a damn minute. “Y/N-YA YOU’RE ON REVERSE-!” Law yelled, looking behind at the nearing wall that you were about to crash into. “WHAT?!” You screamed, immediately shifting the car out of reverse. You slammed your foot on the brakes, and Law’s head whipped forward with the sudden movement. It made him dizzy, and he almost saw his life flash before his eyes. “Ok… Phew that was kind close haha!” You laughed, wiping the sweat off your forehead with relief. “Y/n. We could’ve fucking died.” He said, grabbing you by your shoulders with wide eyes. “Sorry-!” You replied, stepping on the gas pedal, making Law fly back into his seat. Law’s eyes were wide with worry and anxiety, his body was shaking with stress. “WHOOO HOOOOO!” You screamed excitedly, taking your hands off the wheel and waving them in the air. “HANDS ON THE WHEEL-!” He yelled, slamming your hands back on the steering wheel. You swerved around approaching cars, almost barely escaping a car crash everytime you passed someone. Law reached up, trying to find the hand rest on the side of the door. But it wasn’t there, he fumbled around, trying to frantically grab onto something. “Y/n-ya where’s the hand rest?!” He shouted, clearly panicking. “It broke off last time I crashed!” You replied rather light heartedly. “Last time you wh-?!” He started to shout before you sharply turned to the right, making Law fly around in his seat. The seatbelt almost did nothing for him- but at least there was something keeping him alive. You laughed happily, continuing to speed rather quickly down the roads. “Law isn’t this fun?!” You shouted, looking towards him. Law looked absolutely petrified, he looked like a cat who was desperately clinging onto the door handle for his life.

When he looked forward again, he saw the familiar faces of his friends. Luffy and Zoro were walking across the street, talking and obviously not paying attention. “Y/N STOP STOP STOP-!” He yelled, grabbing your arm tightly. You looked forward and screamed, slamming your hand on the horn. Zoro yelped, looking at the approaching car as he jumped out of the way as fast as he could. Luffy was confused, “Huh?? What are you doing Zoro?!” Luffy shouted, staring at him with a dazed expression. “LUFFY MOVE YOUR ASS!” He yelled, running towards him to try and move him out of the way. You instantly slammed your foot on the brakes, the car skidding as it slowed down. You were going so fast that it was hard for the tires to grab the ground. Law closed his eyes, it was embarrassing how petrified he looked. You cling onto him, wrapping your arms around him tightly while screaming and trying to shove more weight onto the brake pedal. You both closed your eyes, hugging each other and just praying that Luffy would either move, or the car would stop in time. Once you both felt the car stop, you slowly opened your eyes, and to your surprise, Luffy was still standing there. “Huh? OH Y/N HI!” He shouted, jumping up and down while waving his arms excitedly. Law was shaking, his fists clenched so tightly his fingers were turning purple. “You… Are going to be the death of me, y/n.” He said slowly, looking at you with a tired and petrified expression. “Hehe- don’t worry! I won’t let you die!” You replied with a smile. “I MEAN YOU’RE THE ONE WHO’S GOING TO KILL ME IDIOT!”

a/n - I love law 😭 and this was the goofiest thing I’ve written today I loved it sm ty for the request anon >:)

<3

#trafalgar d water law #one piece hcs #law x reader #one piece #law one piece #one piece x reader #roronoa zoro #luffy one piece #law x y/n #law x you #law headcanons

[ee0709]

touch is a good sense when you've lost one - by sleepy_dream

~

“Yeah okay okay. You know how touch is a sense?” he asks, nervousness evident in his tone.

“Foggy, just so that you are aware, I have in fact passed elementary school and know what the five senses are.” he teases and that makes the other laugh. Good, he should be less nervous now.

“Just…here” he could hear say the other before his hands were placed on the top of Foggy’s head. Oh.

or in which, matt murdock wants to know what his best friend looks like

It was a rhetorical question really. Matt hadn't expected an answer. Though it was a lackluster answer, it was still something.

Matt and Foggy were together, as they usually are. By themselves, which once again, as they usually are. They had both had a shot, or two, or maybe even four, of whatever concoction Foggy had made for them. Matt looked to where Foggy was, humming thoughtfully before he spoke. “I wonder how you look.” he said, subtly turning towards his law partner, “I mean we’ve known each other for years and yet I have no idea what you look like.”

For some reason, that gets Foggy very excited as if he’s been expecting that question (statement really) to fall out of Matt’s lips. It was just a bit weird how eager he was to answer his simple wonder.

“Well, I’m 5’9’’. Light brown hair that goes a bit past my ears. Blue eyes. And uh I don't know what else to tell you…”

“You literally only told me your basic features, Foggy. There are tons of people who match that description. Like Chris Hemsworth in that one movie he’s in. Albeit a few inches taller than you” Matt argues and Foggy shakes his head, nose scrunching up slightly. “Oh, I’m sorry I don't know how to describe things, let alone myself.”

Matt thinks about it for a moment. And then rethinks after he is done thinking. Did he want to know what he looked like? Of course, the last time he actually saw himself was when he was merely nine years old. He was curious, as one would be if they became blind in the middle of their childhood.

“Well…what do I look like?” he asks, the words practically foreign on his tongue. Never had he ever asked that question before, nor had he ever thought he’d ask it. For this question, Foggy seemed much too eager to answer.

“Okay okay, so you’re like 5’10’’, which is like an inch taller than me, obviously. You have brown hair that looks light brown in the sun. It looks so nice man. And your eyes, holy shit. They’re such a nice hazel color. When the sun hits your eyes just right, it looks like there’s a fire starting to burn. You have a bit of stubble and crap, does it look good with your face shape.” Matt was about to interrupt, but the other just kept on going.

“And you know what your hair looks like since you get it done. But sometimes a few strands fall on your face and it makes for a messy but put-together person kind of look. Don't get me started on your body. Not to sound like that guy but I’m going to be that guy. You are built! You look so good that even I would fall to my knees for you”

“Woah there Foggy, some people might think” he laughs, feeling a rush of heat rush onto his face. Foggy would of course be the type to unintentionally make him flustered. Asshole.

So Matt sat there, on that bar stool as he tried to imagine what his friend looked like. It wasn't easy, given the very brief description he was given. How is it that he could describe Matt in the uttermost detail but when he was asked to describe himself, all Foggy could give him was height, hair details, and eye color? When he was talking about his blind friend, it was like he was struck by a poetic arrow or some shit like that. Don’t know how to describe things his ass.

“Tell me Foggy, why is it that you describe me like I’m an eternal being whilst you barely give me details about yourself?” Matt questions, borderline teasing the other male. He couldn’t see it, but with the way Foggy stammers out a response, there was obviously a blush on his face. Got you asshole.

“Well um, I don’t uh really have an answer for that. You’re just so..yeah” he says and gods does Matt really want him to finish his sentence. He’s about to tell him as much until Foggy decides to speak again. “Why do you want to know what I look like so badly?” fuck, he got him there again.

“Can’t a guy just want to picture their friend in their head…okay don’t answer that. I’ve just known you for years now and I wanted a full picture” he says and holy shit did he realize that that was not the right thing to say. “So what you’re saying…is that you’re trying to picture me in your head? You do that often Matt” he could hear Foggy say, could hear the teasing tone that seemed to edge onto his voice. He will say it again. Asshole.

“I sure am trying Foggy, but you’re making that pretty difficult” he bites back and he could tell that Foggy’s trying to think of what to say if the silence that followed had anything to do with it. He comes up with nothing apparently because Matt feels the other nudge him. “I uh really don’t know how to describe myself all that much. You can have other people try…or maybe, this is just a suggestion…you can try”

“Excuse me?” Matt asks, in utter shock and disbelief. What did he mean by him trying to describe the other? How could he describe Foggy when he couldn’t even see the guy? “I’ll explain it just uh one moment” he could hear him say and he didn’t need to see in order to know that he was paying.

Oh, the asshole. They have spoken multiple times about the fact that Matt would get the next outing. And then the next. And then the one after. Foggy was just all the gentlemen who wanted to pay. All the time.

He follows the long-haired male, sighing softly as the cool air hit his still-flushed face. It was relaxing in a way really. He lets Foggy grab his arm because he had left his cane at home. Totally wasn’t on purpose for this exact thing to happen. They went back to Matt’s place since both men were in the land between being drunk and sober. So it only made sense that they would collapse on the bed right away.

Matt sits up to face Foggy, curious now when the walk to his place gave him time to mull over what the other male was talking about back at the bar. “Foggy…what did you mean? When you said that I could try describing you?” he asks and he could feel the other grabbing his hands. “You know how we always joke about you having over-sensitive senses because you know..”

“Because I’m blind Foggy. I’ve told you multiple times that it’s completely fine to say it” Matt chuckles and the other clears his throat, rubbing the back of his hand with his thumb. “Yeah okay okay. You know how touch is a sense?” he asks, nervousness evident in his tone.

“Foggy, just so that you are aware, I have in fact passed elementary school and know what the five senses are.” he teases and that makes the other laugh. Good, he should be less nervous now.

“Just…here” he could hear say the other before his hands were placed on the top of Foggy’s head. Oh.

Oh!

So this is what he meant. To not see the other with sight, but with touch. With that in mind, Matt lets his hands wander.

He first notices how long the other’s hair is. It isn’t exactly a style he would do himself but it seemed to work for Foggy. His hair was soft and in the back of Matt’s mind, he wondered if he could smell the type of shampoo he used.

Kinda creepy Matt, tone it down.

So he moves on, letting his left-hand trail down to his jaw, feeling a growing stubble. Cute. Matt’s other hand travels along his face, taking in every feature of Foggy that he can. A few bumps he felt here and there. Smile lines. Foggy was smiling now. Not big yet not small. He was enjoying this, sinking into the other’s touch. He had closed his eyes earlier, not wanting to have them poked at as Matt searched his face. Which the blind man appreciated.

Imagine, you’re exploring the features of a guy you like and you end up poking his eyes out. Yeah, no thank you. Matt would rather that not happen.

Matt hesitated as he got further down the other’s face, knowing that a simple touch could say it all. What if he lingered there? Stayed there longer than any other area because he oh so wanted to feel them on his own.

When he glided his fingers against the other’s lips, Matt could feel the inhale of air being breathed in. Well of course he heard it as well but that wasn’t what he was focused on. Foggy’s lips were chapped, which, okay reasonable. But holy crap was it amazing to feel his lips. Though they weren’t quite where he wanted them.

Fuck. Matt was too close. Now that he could pay attention to something that wasn’t the man sitting across from him, he could feel Foggy’s breath fanning against his face. Their noses were grazing, so so close. How’d they get this close? Who moved in closer? None of that mattered as Matt’s attention was brought back to the man who infuriated him in all the right ways.

“Matt…please” a ghost of a whisper escaped him and Matt couldn’t help but oblige. He closes the distance, pressing his lips to the other’s. Oh how long he’s yearned to do this. To feel Foggy’s lips against his own. To feel the warmth of his hands cup his face and neck. To feel the years of emotion and longing in one kiss.

For something he’s wanted for so long, it didn’t last as much as Matt had wanted it to. The both of them pull away for a kiss that couldn’t have been longer than ten seconds. But really, if you asked Matt now, that was more than enough.

Matt pulled both of them down, making them lay down. He keeps his left hand against the other’s jaw, his thumb caressing his cheek. “You look beautiful Foggy"

And that was all Foggy needed to kiss him again.

#matt murdock #foggy nelson #matt x foggy #mattfoggy #daredevil

[ninjakk]

When I first knew mdzs, I saw the takes that stated wwx did not love lwj equally. Personally I felt they wanted wwx was the only one that got chased after and somehow they make one get loved but do not give the love to other. So I really wanted to tell you how I am so happy to know and read your metas that show details into wwx's love. Thank you.

WWX love LWJ so much start from his first life. WWX cherishes and values his LWJ. Their love to each other is mutual and equal.

Hi Anon,

Thank you for your lovely comments 🥰 I'm glad my meta makes you happy ❤️

I agree with you wholeheartedly! I noticed a lot of the fandom insinuating that their love was rather one sided and I found it very strange - which is why I wrote some of the meta on my blog. WWX's crush on LWJ is practically screaming off the pages in some of the scenes, even when he was younger! It's just utterly adorable!

It's quite funny that some people think WWX was the one who was "chased after" - because it's actually most definitely the other way around. WWX was the one chasing after LWJ, calling his name, getting upset when he was rejected and trying to get his attention any way he could. WWX was relentlessly pursuing LWJ, whether he understood his feelings at the time or not. He got LWJ little gifts, invited him to come and stay at Lotus Pier and even asked him on numerous occasions to come to a local restaurant with him while he was at the CR as a teenager.

"...Back then I’ve invited you to dine out together before. How passionately I tried! You were the one who refused to go. Every time I talked to you you’d glare at me, and everything you said started with a ‘no’. I’ve really met so many obstacles..."

Chapter 116

"...I took them to that Hunan cuisine at Caiyi Town… The exact one you never agreed to go no matter how much I tried to persuade you…"

Chapter 120

I particularly love the two extracts above, because they really show us just how much WWX (subconsciously) tried to court LWJ when they were younger! Especially as in hindsight, WWX knows what his true intentions and feelings were when he was inviting LWJ places all those years ago. We later get further confirmation of WWX's understanding of his feelings back then, in the Dream Come True extra chapter as well.

It astounds me that people can't see WWX's feelings for LWJ in his first life. MXTX has literally written a number of scenes centered around WWX and his pining - including the Lotus Seed Pod extra. Even in the main novel, she wrote the archery competition not just as a little scene where WWX pulled on LWJ's forehead ribbon - but to show us how much of a crush WWX still had on LWJ, even after not seeing him for a whole year.

Of course, that's not to diminish any feelings LWJ has for WWX. Poor LWJ was under the impression that WWX was not interested in him in that way (or indeed men) and that WWX just flirted with everyone. Which is quite funny, because if LWJ hadn't been blinded by jealousy, he might have noticed WWX didn't act that way with anyone else. He was certainly the only man he paid any attention towards in such a way and he never chased after any of the girls he charmed either. Even in WWX's second life, LWJ did not actively pursue him because he was under the impression WWX did not return his feelings. He was just happy to have WWX alive once more and be a part of his life, any way he could.

If WWX did not love LWJ as much as LWJ loves him, WWX wouldn't be as blissfully happy as he is at the end of the novel. It's even more apparent in the extras, where we see the loving and intimate post honeymoon life they have established together as a married couple. They are both truly devoted to each other, no one loves more or less than the other - they are equal in every sense of the word. That is the beauty of their relationship.

#mdzs #mo dao zu shi #wangxian #wei wuxian #lan wangji #mdzs novel #anon ask #answered ask #feeling the love anon #thank you ☺️