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#I can't even with myself sometimes 😅

freepassbound · 11 months

Note

39. What type of music do you like?

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?

51. Are you a good liar?

52. How long could you go without talking?

56. What do you like on your toast?

65. Freebie: If you had an absurd amount of money (think Jeff Bezos type of money), what would you spend it on?

39. Oh... classical, '80s & '90s pop/rock/alternative... a little bit of almost anything? Except country, and generally rap.

49. Hmm. 🤔 My first instinct was a possum and a turtle... but is that an armadillo?

51. Only on rare occasions. Generally I'm not particularly good at it. I obfuscate better than I actually lie.

52. Probably not that long - I talk to myself. 😂

56. The classics: peanut butter, jelly, cinnamon-sugar.

65. I'd give it away. I really mean it. Full-on MacKenzie Scott. The only things I'd do for myself are build a house in a perfect spot and make a bank account to live off of forever. Maybe buy a '90s LeSabre and have it restored?

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universalitgirlsblog2 · 4 months

Text

🎀📖STUDYING TIPS FROM STRAIGHT-A STUDENT📖🎀

(1) Passionate about Learning

If we look at Hermione or Rory , they had a burning passion for learning. They were full of curiosity. They didn't just study for good grades , they studied because they were passionate to learn. They read alot of books. Ngl Reading is therapeutic . Hermione always went into detail , she read alot of books about the topics she was studying. There is a reason behind her being a " know it all " .

(2) Rely on Understanding , not rote learning

I was one of those who would study at last moment and rely on rote learning, I would still get good grades . But gradually I realized , studying at last moment is wrong and it makes education unworthy. After the exam , I would forget everything. Sometimes rote learning won't help too. Rely on understanding the concepts. Ofc there will be some topics that are just meant for memorization. When you come back from school , you should revise everything. It will makes things much easier for you.

(3) Be Disciplined and Dedicated

The best form of self love is discipline. Don't procrastinate. Procrastination is the cost of life you could have lived. Be mindful and prioritize your tasks. Start taking responsibility. You owe yourself to be disciplined and dedicated.

(4) Prioritize Education

Education is the most powerful weapon. Being educated and Intelligent is HOT ! HARD WORK WILL NEVER BETRAY YOU. Books are your best friends. When I had my exams or when I was in 10th grade, we had board exams . I studied really hard. It was lockdown but exams were still offline ( lol ). I cut off toxic people or anything which drained me or made me feel bad. I prioritized myself and my education. I used social media for 30 minutes only and I would watch content which made me feel motivated or good about myself. I unfollowed everything which made me feel bad. Did I regret it ? NO ! I GOT 98%. I strongly believe in manifestation too ( that's why this account exists ) so I affirmed for good grades too.

(5)Less Social Media or N🚫 Social media at all.

Alot of my classmates who are also exceptional at studying . Some of them joined Social media very late and some of them still don't use Social media. I joined Social media in Grade 9 but these days I try to use it as less as possible. This can be different for everyone. Maybe you use Social media in a healthy way and get good grades. For me , Social media can be draining sometimes so I use it less whenever I need to focus on myself. I was thinking to deactivate my account or take a break 😅. Most of the posts you see are scheduled btw, including this one .

(6)Find your WHY

Why are you studying ? What is your reason ? Is it because you want to make your parents proud ? Is it because you love learning ? Is it because you want to prove others wrong ? It is very important to have a reason for studying. Maybe connect your goals to studying. Let's say you want to become a dentist , now you can't become a dentist without studying ,right ?

(7) Find a Role Model

If you can't find your WHY yet , it's okay. Try to find a role model. It can be any real life person or a fictional character. It can be ANYONE ! My role models are Hermione and Elle Woods. You can put your role model Keychain on your pouch , stick their posters etc so whenever you look at it , you gain motivation to give your best. Again , it's okay if you can't find a role model . Become your own role model If you can't find any role model 😉

(8) Don't let Past intervene

It's okay if you weren't a good student from start . According to manifestation, you can revise being one too ! You can still change yourself and become a good student . You can prove all those people wrong by becoming a good student. Once a wise man said , don't let your past blackmail your present to ruin a beautiful future.

(9) Believe in Yourself & Be confident

Harry potter once said " Working hard is important but there's something which matters even more ; Believing in yourself " . Even if you aren't a potterhead , you should listen to Harry Potter. Another example can be Elle Woods , she believed in herself when no one did. She showed us the power of self belief. Be confident in yourself.

(10) Be attentive and Regular

You must be attentive in class. Participate in class and don't hesitate . I can understand if you can't participate in class because you feel shy ( I used to be like that ) but the more you push yourself to participate, the less you will hesitate. Gradually , you will feel confident too. Like Thewizardliz said , sometimes you need to get uncomfortable to get comfortable. Be a good listener.Also , be regular in your classes. If you aren't able to be regular, study at home. Some of my friends weren't able to be regular in school because of personal reasons but they studied at home . They didn't waste their time in unproductive stuff. Sometimes I was also not able to be regular at school but I studied at home and took breaks in between.

(11) Study From Youtube

I don't know if it's just me but youtube teachers can make the most complicated topics so simple. They explain everything in detail. Youtube teachers can be more helpful than school teachers tbh 😀. Self Study is important.

(12) Take care of Your Mental health.

It can be very hard to study with bad mental health. I tend to take care of my mental health. Stress can be the biggest distraction sometimes. So take care of your physical and mental health. Journal. Meditate. Take a break from social media if you need to. Use affirmations.Dance. Exercise. Read.Paint . Sleep. Whatever makes you feel better. Poor mental health can also interfere with your attention span so please take care of your mental health. Don't take it for granted 😃.

Short and simple tips

- Value your time. Time is money

- Self study is very beneficial

- Be organized

- Avoid Drama

- I WANT TO LET YOU ALL KNOW HOW IMPORTANT YOUR TODAY IS , YOUR NOW IS .STUDY HARD . WORK HARD.PLAY HARDER. DON'T BE BOUND BY RULES. DON'T HURT ANYBODY AND NEVER EVER LIVE SOMEONE ELSE'S DREAM. REMEMBER HOW MANY TIMES YOU GO WRONG, NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES YOU FAIL , DESPAIR, FEEL LIKE THIS WORLD IS AGAINST YOU . IN THE WORDS OF BOB MARLEY , AT THE END EVERYTHING IS GONNA BE ALRIGHT . - SHAH RUKH KHAN aka SRK👑

🎀📖These are some tips which helped me and I live by these tips. I hope these tips help you too. I apologize if the post wasn't helpful🎀📖

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itsjustaninchident · 10 months

Text

playdate 🐾

Mick Schumacher x Fem!reader

summary: where people are trying to connect two posts from mick and yn showing off their dogs👀🐾

warning/s: none

author's note/s: this is really just cute fun little concept 😅 running out of ideas (inbox is open if you want to request!<3)

yourusername

liked by tuckerbudzyn, good.boy.ollie, and 74,329 others

yourusername playdate with my boy🐾

view 6,540 comments...

user1 he's such a good boy!

user2 what a distinguished gentleman 🥰

tuckerbudzyn maybe we can play sometimes?

theolastname mum says yes!

user3 OMG I'D LOVE TO SEE THEO AND TUCKER IN ONE VIDEO

mickschumacher

liked by lewishamilton, estebanocon, and 456, 789 others

mickschumacher playdate with my girl

view 23,567 comments...

user1 I love you angie!!

user2 this is so suspicious...

user3 why?

user2 well, he doesn't usually post angie anymore 🤔

user3 how is that suspicious

user2 we'll see 😉

roscoelovescoco can i come's next time's?

user4 I LOVE ROSCOE SM😭

estebanocon hmmm 🤐

user5 estie bestie what do you know???? 🤨

user6 am i thinking what y'all are thinking

user7 no stop being delusional

user8 the caption is so similar with my favorite vlogger and her dog...

user9 yourusername???? Right...

user10 you're reaching babe

user11 let's get you to bed grandma

yourusername

liked by tuckerbudzyn, mickschumacher, and 123,456 others

yourusername Theo's zooming through the streets of Switzerland 🥰

view 1,456 comments...

user1 theo is so cute!😭

user2 I wish in another life that im a dog and yn's my mom and im zooming through Switzerland

user3 must not pass the opportunity to zoom!

user4 suspicious 🤔 why is mick here?

user5 probably finding angie a date?😄

user6 imagine if angie and theo meet each other?!

user7 that would be cute🥺

roscoelovescoco you look's good's my friend's !

theolastname all thanks to mum😄

user8 WHAT THIS IS SO CUTE

user9 THEY KNOW EACH OTHER?

user10 not me literally gushing over two celebrity dogs😭

user11 CAN WE SEE THEM BOTH IN THE PADDOCK

user11 am I the only one who thinks that mick is somehow involved in this and why'd he liked the post...

user12 i see... you're onto something

user13 now he can't even like a post without all of you assuming anything

user11 why is yn suddenly in Switzerland? Who lives in Switzerland?

user12 no no you're onto something

user11 also the post mick made with his dog angie with the caption almost sounding like a response to yn's post before this🤔

user14 take your delusions elsewhere babes

yourusername

liked by mickschumacher, lewishamilton, and 32,456 others

yourusername beach trips and new paw friend!

view 10,238 comments...

user1 uhm,,, that dog is familiar

user2 omg cute!!!

user3 is that Angie???

user4 I'm assuming it is her given that Mick liked the post

user3 right...

lewishamilton maybe roscoe can stop by sometime?

theolastname of course uncle lewis!

user4 UNCLE LEWIS?!😭🥺

user5 THIS IS THE CUTEST CROSSOVER EVER

mickschumacher miss you three!

*this comment has been deleted*

user6 AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO SAW THE COMMENT FROM MICK?!

user7 maybe some of you weren't delusional at all

user8 I KNEW IT

user9 WAR IS OVER

user10 not my girl yn!!!😭

user11 WE'VE LOST ANOTHER BADDIE

user12 patiently waiting for the Twitter fans

via twitter...

mickschumacher

liked by yourusername, estebanocon, and 345,430 others

mickschumacher with my lovely girls❤️

view 32,569 comments...

roscoelovescoco please don't's steal's my teacher's !

user1 turns out yn works in a doggie daycare?!

user2 it all makes sense now!

user3 THIS IS SO CUTE

user4 I KNEW IT

user5 do i need to buy a dog now so i can find myself a yn???

mickschumacher 10/10 would recommend but adopt not shop though

yourusername i taught you well 😄

user6 THIS IS SO WHOLESOME

user7 what i learned from this is that dogs are not only stress relievers but also put you out of being single

user8 i think my dog is doing it wrong happy for you though

user9 how do i send this to my dog so he can find me my lover

yourusername

liked by lewishamilton, mickschumacher, and 102, 789 others

yourusername dogs' out of the bag?

view 12,789 comments...

yourusername should I say I have two goldies now? 🤭

user1 omg so this means mick's been her boyfriend since theo was young?!

user2 how old is theo tho?

user1 he's 1!

user2 1 YEAR AND NO ONE SUSPECTED ANYTHING?

user3 they're pretty good in hiding soo

user4 the pun in the caption?😭

user5 I LOVE YN (I've only met her today)

user6 oh to be yn with my golden retriever boyfriend and my two dogs

mickschumacher i always have to share you with theo

theoschumacher but you still love me dad!

user7 THE LAST NAME CHANGE

user8 SO CUTE OMG

user9 I LOVE THIS FAMILY SO MUCH

user10 lewishamilton i have an idea for u and roscoe

#mick fluff #mick schumacher #mick x reader #mick shumacher imagine #f1 #fluff #f1 fluff #f1 fic #f1 socmed au #f1 instagram au #f1 ig au #f1 fanfic

1K notes · View notes

yuyu1024 · 3 months

Text

Roommate

Pairings: Yunho × y/n

Genre/tags: first time

Warning: smut/angst 🔞🔞🔞 unprotected sex, pet names, a lot of cursing, mention of masturbating

~~~ [lmk if i miss anything]

Words: 2.6k

Disclaimer:

- this story is just made up

- english is not my first language, please be nice 😊

Note: another random drabble i just wrote before i slept the other day. But forgot to post 😅 no storyline

***

Typical. Everyone around you is either holdinh hands with their partner or just basically eating each other's face like you don't exist in their friendship group.

You love your friends, you do, with all of your heart, however sometimes you just want to slap them across their faces and tell them to stop being showy of their love, affection and horny asses while you are with them. They know you are single and lonely. They can try to control it right?

It is not like you are single solely by choice. It's not like that. You also wanted to date. You wanted to try. But the problem is, no one is even willing to try it with you. Basically, you think, you are not attractive enough for boys or men to even look back to you and talk.

Just thinking about it makes you want to cry.

You did what you can to change so that society can notice you. You started wearing contact lenses to let them see your eyes that usually hides behind your thick glasses. You even styled your hair. Not a drastic change but your friend says the layering cut fits you. Then you also updated your wardrobe. You still have the comfy ones in there but you added some basic blacks, whites, browns and nudes color for basic mix and match for future dates.

However, no future dates ever happened since then.

You thought, who are you kidding? No one wanted to date you when you are you so how can anyone date you now as well when you are trying to be 'normal' and same as the others.

"Here is your pineapple juice." San, your bestfriend, brings you your nonalcohol drink.

"Thank you..." you say as you take it from his hand. "Where is your girlfriend?"

"Ah, she went outside to meet his big brother..."

"Brother? She has a brother?"

"Are you even not listening to any of our conversation for the past year?" He raise his brow at you

You roll your eyes. "Oh sorry... how can I listen to your conversation when all I could see is your mouth nibbling her neck whilst your hand is on her boobs and squishing it like I'm not here!" You rant

San laughs at you. "Babe! I'm sorry!" He puts his arm around you. "You know I can't get enough of my girlfriend..."

You scoff. "I know! Like it's not obvious. I see it every week we go out and hang out!" You push him away jokingly.

"You act annoyed and disgusted by us... but when you get yourself a man... you'll know how we feel." He says, laughing

"IF... I get myself a man. You know I'm struggling here..." you sigh, shaking your head.

"Hi I'm back!" San's girlfriend emerges from the crowd, pulling a tall guy with her. "Got my big brother here."

"Hey! Yunho! Long time no see!" San gets up and hugs his girl's brother.

"Yeah... it's been quite some time now..." Yunho responses. "But I'm back... but... homeless..."

"Homeless?" San questions as they all sit down.

"He's moving back here... he just resigned from his job and looking for a place to live." San's girl answers. "He is staying at my place for now... but my unit is not big enough for the two of us..."

"Right... hmm... I would suggest my building but currently all units are full." San says. "Oh wait! Y/N!"

All of them looks at you with dear eyes whilst you were drinking your pineapple juice.

"What?" You ask San

"By the way, she is my bestfriend... Y/N.... and Y/N... Yunho... Her brother..." he introduces you

"Hi..." you greet, smiling.

"So," San claps his hands, grinning. "Didn't your roommate just moved out?" He asks you

"Yes..." you are lost why the sudden question. But then your eyes met San's girlfriend's eyes. "Wait... are you suggesting..."

"Don't worry about him!" She stands and sits beside you. "His work is nighshift so... when you are home he's not! So it's like living with no one..."

"Huh? Wait. Why my place?"

It's not that you are being rude but it is a bit awkward since you just met the gorgeous guy a second ago.

"Girl... just accept it." San suddenly whispers to you. "He have a ton of friends... goodlooking ones..."

"Are you suggesting to let him stay with me in return to find me a guy?" You hiss at San and then hit him on the arm.

"Don't worry... it's just for a mean time... while he's saving up and looking for a place to move near his work. Which is oddly same area as your place."

San is really enjoying this sitution. You don't like what he is doing. You're guessing he is either playing cupid for you and Yunho or he's trying to make you look good for Yunho so he could also help you find a man.

Wow. You're bestfriend is so desprate to get you laid and have a life.

"Maybe her building have an extra unit?" Yunho asks

"Well... my place is more like a 3 story apartment building... the owner lives at the house next door and the two units under me are all taken." You explain

"Her place is outside the city yet not to far to get to." San explain

"Hers is more quiet than my place. You definitely could get your sleep in the morning." His sister adds

"Really..." his eyes then shifts to his sister to you. "Don't worry... I could pay rent if you like... I could share with the food too."

That's fine you guess. Right? Since it's going to be just for a mean time? What could go possibly wrong of having a guy in your apartment just to sleep during the day while you are out at work...

***

"San!" You hiss while you slowly close your bedroom's door. "I don't think I can do this." You whisper on your phone

"What do you mean?"

"You and your girlfriend missed out an important detail about Yunho... before you let me take him in my place!"

"What detail? Yunho is a nice guy. He's not going to hurt you or anything... he's very kind too and caring. He is a decent guy Y/N."

You sigh as you go on further your room, making a ton more distant from your door so Yunho won't hear you.

"Yeah, he's great. Sure. I get that. But..."

"But what?"

How can you explain to your bestfriend that whenever you wake up in the morning to get ready for your day, not just one time but like a few times now in the past month, THAT you caught your new roommate masturbating. Like seriously moaning outloud and out and about. He does not even try to close his door or anything!

"Y/N? You're still there?"

You snap out of it. You try to stop imagining it all over again. But fucking hell, how can you remove the image and the sound in your head? It is now engraved in your brain and it echoes in your ears.

"Hello? Are you still alive?" San asks

"Yes... I'm still here..."

"So... what is it?"

"Fuck..." you hiss. "Nothing....nevermind... I'll just.... whatever. Yeah... I just hope he finds a new place soon."

You say outloud. It's not like you don't like him now just because of what you keep witnessing every now and then. It's just awkward for you. Awkward in terms of..... you don't know what to do about it. The dirty thoughts building in your mind is too much for you to even handle.

You don't want to be a pervert or a freak imagining him fucking you. Especially with the length he got? Oh dear. Just imagine him pounding you and making you lose your shit.

"Good morning." Yunho greets you the second you got out of your room. He just finished showering and preparing breakfast. "I made something quick.. scrambled and toast..."

"Thanks..." you try to avoid looking at him. Not because you caught him today.

He was not doing it today actually but because, the reason you called San in panic mode is becauss you dreamt about it. And that's not okay. It made you, wet early in the morning. Even for someone who is a virgin and only knows sex through books and movies.

"You're not up early today." He asks before he bite his toast

"Ah... it's my off today." You say as you pour yourself a cup of coffee.

"On a wednesday? Middle of the week?"

"Yeah..." you then add sugar and milk to your drink. "Forced leave actually... since I don't use them much and my boss thinks I'm a workaholic." You take a sip and exhale satisfaction. "He said... I should use a few days and just... relax... plus the weather lately is not good so... it's okay..."

Both of you look outside the window and watch how strong the storm is.

"Yeah... it was a struggle to get to work last night and even get home earlier..."

"Glad you got home safe." You say, "A friend of mine at work lost control during his drive... he almost hit a tree..."

"That's bad."

"It is..."

You glance at him and saw him looking at you. You try to smile it off and ignore the fact that he is starring and just continued to look outside the window and drink your coffee. But then...

"You know... you look cute with your glasses on." He suddenly says. "Hmm no actually... I think... you look sexier with your glasses on."

What the fuck was that?

"S-sorry...?" You can't process what he just said

"I'll go ahead and sleep..." he smiles. "Enjoy the breakfast I made for you." And as he walks pass you, his hand slightly brushes off your ass like he tried to touch it but didn't actually. "Goodnight, Y/N..." he says before he disappears to his room.

You thought that, THAT one thing. That morning is just a fluke like he was just being nice and flirty. But it has no malice.

Because you thought, why? Why would someone like him? Tall, handsome, sexy and someone nice will take interest to someone like you? Someone no one seems to like.

But then... a few more weeks of being getting to know each other more, sharing flirtatious gazes and catching him still masturbating. Well, like probably any smut books you've read, it all ended up having a spicy moment with your roommate.

"Y-yunho.... Yu..... Yunho...!" You are out of breathe and probably about to pass out. That's how tired and weak you are right now. "I... I aaaah!!! I think I'm going to explode!" You cry, grasping onto the headboard for support.

"I can't stop.... I can't." He grunts as he pushes himself in you more and more. "You're sucking me in real fucking good!" He snarls. He is breathing hard and heavy as you are. "Fuck!"

What happened? How did you end up like this? Legs spread open, naked and being pounded by Yunho.

"Fuck!" You moan as he constantly hit your spot. "Yunho! This is fucking insane!" You are tearing up but its not from the pain but its from the high its giving you. It tickles you from the inside.

You never knew sex would be this damn good.

"Shit!" Yunho hisses before he locks his lips to yours. "What the fuck are you doing? You are getting tighter and tigher... fuck so good! Aaah!!" He wraps his arms around you, caging you more close to his body. "Y/N!" He calls your name, "shit... holy shit."

You are not sure what you are doing. But your body is tense and reacting very well to him fucking you.

"I'm dizzy because of the alcohol..." you exhale. "I don't know... how can.... how I even..." You stop to scream as he pounded you real hard and you felt it in your gut. "Fuck!"

"Come for me..." he then says before he nuzzles his face on your neck. "You even smell so good."

Right. You two celebrated your promotion. You're supposed to celebrate with San and his girl too but since the weather is bad and not safe to really go out, you decide to just do it with Yunho. Bad idea was to drink alcohol with him to help you to warm up a bit since it's snowing bad outside. Coz now... it got you fucked and still getting fucked up.

"Oh god! Yunho!" You moan. You actually think you exploded. You feel more wet down there. But Yunho don't seem to mind. Because he's not stopping yet

You got pretty close already after a decent amout of months living with him. But tonight, is another level of closeness. The alcohol vamps up both your horny asses.

You being curious about how sex feels, craving it even if you haven't done it yet ever and him, being vacant in that 'section' for months and months now since he is single and busy. So... the combination of that got you to your position now.

"How do you feel?" He asks, looking at you eye to eye

Your mouth is open and breathing loudly but you still managed to answer him. "A-amazing..."

Your answer made him smile. "I'm close..." he says, "Do you want me to pull it out?"

"Pull out? Why?" You whine

He faintly laughs and then kisses you on the corner of your lips. "We don't have protection. We got so excited that I forgot to grab a condom."

Then you extend your legs and wrap it around his hips. "Don't. I want to know how it feels.... I want to feel it. Everything... give it to me..."

"Fuck Y/N...." he snarls before biting his lower lip. "You're making me more horny by saying that."

"Please...?"

"Hold on then..." he says before he picks up his pace.

He thrusts more faster and stronger. He is running to reach his climax. And it didn't take long for him to break since you clench so tightly whenever he hits your core perfectly.

"Fucking hell!" He gasp for air and your embrace the moment he lets go of himself. "Y/N... you are one dangerous woman..." he mumbles, "fuck..."

"I should be the one telling you that... you seduced me..." you says as you softly kiss his cheek

"Oh baby it's the other way around..." he pulls out of you and lays flat beside you. "The moment you came out of your room wearing my hoodie by mistake..." Yunho covers his face with his forearm, hiding his smile. "I lost it."

You giggle as you find him adorable. He is embarassed right now but when he asked you if could fuck you hours ago, there was no hint of shyness in him.

"Y/N...?"

"Hmm?"

"Can I be your permanent roommate?"

"What?"

"Because..." He pushes himself up and turn to face you. "I don't think I'd allow myself to not have a taste of you every fucking day now..." he leans forward to your chest area and let his tongue swirl around your hardened nipple.

You squirm, feeling it from your boobs to your core. Your cheeks also becomes as red as the cherries on the cake you have left on the dining table.

"Looks like... you're body wants to go again..." he teases while he is still licking you up

"Fuck... My nipples are so sensitive plus it feels so good... I think... I think... I'm horny again..." you breathe. Your hips are already out of control moving just from him teasing your nipple.

"I can go again if you like..." Yunho then kisses you on the lips. "I told you... I'm... the perfect... roommate for you." He says in between kisses

"Really?" You smile

"Yes..." Yunho scoops you up making sure he gets more access to your other boob.

"Fuck me again...?" you ask, eyes closed

You hear him smile. "I'll never say no to that."

#yuyu1024 #ateez imagines #ateez x reader #ateez x y/n #ateez fanfiction #ateez fanfic #atz x reader #ateez smut #ateez x female reader #kpop fanfic #yunho fanfic #yunho x reader #yunho smut #ateez yunho #ateez scenarios #ateez hard thoughts #ateez hard hours #atz yunho #atz yunho fanfic

190 notes · View notes

denial-permanente · 5 months

Note

Hi Mrs Edge. You answered a question for me some time ago, and it gave me so much to think about. I saw you reposted it recently, and I wanted to give you an update, and ask another question.

We do have an FLR, and I keep my husband locked all the time. I rarely came from intercourse in the past, so this was not a problem for me. After reading about you enjoying the Ranger so much, we decided to try it for ourselves. It turned out that I enjoyed it quite a bit, much more than either of us expected. I discovered that being "in control of the action" allowed me to have regular orgasms that I did not have from PIV with my husband, so "Foxing" became a normal part of our lovemaking.

That led to my keeping my husband locked for longer and longer periods, without any "reward." And as you can probably imagine, when I would allow him a "reward," he would be so sensitive that he would barely last a minute inside me before finishing. Since after coming I just want to lay back and snuggle, I decided that it was too much trouble to look for the key, unlock him, and then have him clean up the mess after he was done. So I finally told him that I really had no more reason to unlock him, and that I didn't imagine myself allowing him inside me anymore.

So as you can imagine, my husband is freaking out over the idea that he is now in a "No pussy" FLR marriage. I don't really feel guilty about denying him, because he did ask for all this, and this is where we ended up. Although sometimes I feel a little guilty that I don't feel guilty, do you know what I mean?

Anyway, I wanted to ask you about this. How did you deal with your own guilt (if you had any) over permanently denying your husband? How did you manage to convince him that this was a good thing? And how was he able to cope with it?

Thanks again, 💋 Mistress Karin

Hi Karin - I remember your post. I was wondering if I would hear from you again, and thank you for giving me an update. You seemed to have a lifestyle that was similar to how my husband and I started out.

Here is the original question.

You have a lot going on here. To begin with, I do know what you mean about feeling guilty about not feeling guilty. 😅 My husband really allowed me to be selfish and for a while I would stop and wonder why I was okay with it and if I "owed" him for spoiling me. All I can say is that time will tell. Eventually I just took it for granted that he was totally okay with pleasuring me and that he really was satisfied when I was satisfied. I used to ask him if he was okay but I guess eventually I just stopped asking and listened to him tell me how he felt. And while we don't have an FLR, we're in a very similar situation. He committed to this... to giving me all the control knowing that we could end up here. And that's where you are with your husband. I think a lot of men have this fantasy in their heads that their wives will become some kind of sexual dominatrix and don't know how to cope when we REALLY take over and tell them what we want. Your husband probably didn't expect to be in a "No pussy" relationship and now has to figure out how to cope with it.

The other thing that you have going on is that your husband is probably a little (or a lot!) freaked out that making love... intercourse... is more enjoyable now that he is "foxing" you with the Vixskin Ranger. My husband has said that a lot of men have this deep rooted primal fear of not "being good enough" in bed... wondering if their wives are thinking about someone else or wishing they were with men who were "bigger" down there. And while they can be good in bed... loving or creative or passionate or whatever you like... they can't make themselves bigger, so they tend to obsess over it. 😅

So right now your husband is freaking out that his own penis wasn't "good enough" to make you come. His worst fear... that he is being "replaced" is coming true. Even though the Vixskin attached to him he probably has in the back of his head that "he" wasn't enough and he is no longer in control of any part of his situation.

Worse (for him) ... now that you've discovered something "better," he gets unlocked less and less which makes him more and more sensitive. He is losing whatever ability he had to give you any pleasure with his own penis. So he's not just freaking out that you have turned this into a "No pussy" FLR... he is also freaking out that even if you allowed it he couldn't "measure up" to his replacement.

I know there are some couples who do "foxing" and who give a name to their Vixskin. That kind of plays on the "being replaced" fear that many men have. If your husband secretly enjoys the idea that may be a way to make his freaking out more exciting.

We aren't into that... I just prefer to think of the Vixskin as my husband's actual penis, and that's how he has learned to think of it as well. I don't know if that's good or bad but it's how I feel the most comfortable. He "copes" with being "locked and replaced" by learning how to enjoy the pleasure that he gives me. He says that he's still freaked out but has found a way to make it erotic in his head.

And of course a lot of men just get freaked out by the whole idea of "no pussy" in their relationship. If your husband is more freaked out by the "No pussy" aspect then you could probably help him by allowing occasional "rewards" like unlocking him and just using your hands. I have mixed feelings on this. On one hand I think it's okay to give your husband some rewards to keep up his spirits. On the other hand (😅) by using just your hands it might emphasize your "No pussy" rule, which could just make him more aware or focused on it. Certainly, by sticking to your "No pussy" rule he will be always re.inded that you are in charge which is probably what you want. I know that when my husband comes in his cage, it feels good for him... but it also reminds him that this is the only way he's allowed now. Again... the idea is both hot and scary for him at the same time.

For me... it really took a few years for me to feel comfortable that my husband was really enjoying this. Even though he committed to it years ago I needed some time to see how dedicated he was and know that even during those times when there was stuff going on with them family or whatever that he wasn't going to freak out and ask to be unlocked. And I have to say that a big part of my own comfort was a result of watching how he handled himself over the years. I know that even though he wanted more... he proved to me that my own pleasure was the most important thing in his mind. Once I could see that I just all sense of guilt or feeling sorry and have been able to just focus on what I enjoy.

Please drop by more often to let me know how you're doing.

#chastity question #mistress Karin

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shepherds-of-haven · 6 months

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Okay I saw this asked on another blog and it was hilarious so I have to ask here : what do you think inner circle’s Beige Flags are? ( weird/quirky or questionable things they do that give you pause but overall have no real effect on the relationship)

Also hope you are feeling better!! 🩵🩵

Ooh, this is a fun one haha! (And I'm feeling a bit better, thank you! I still haven't fully recovered, but getting there slowly but surely! 🥲) Anyway, let me think...

Blade: rather than accompany you into shops (especially small ones), he assumes you want to be left alone to do your shopping in peace (and also typically finds shopping boring) and will instead just stand outside the door, looming like a really intimidating security guard or bouncer. (He is assessing street security, guarding the only door, and positioning himself within shouting distance in case there's some kind of threat.) This often inadvertently drives away business, so sometimes he'll just wait at the end of the street instead, staring out at the crowd like a member of your own personal secret service

Trouble: sometimes he eats too fast, or more accurately talks too fast while eating, leading to frequent inhalation down the wrong pipe and people having to thump him on the back while he coughs. Sometimes he will power through the coughing by sheer force of will and will just... forcefully swallow through it. He refuses to slow down. Life's too short to try to avoid death by choking

Tallys: doesn't make a ton of affirming noises to let you know that she's listening. A lot of people go "uh-huh" or "wow" or "right" or whatever when you're in the midst of telling a long-winded story. She just stares at you patiently in silence until she's sure you're fully done. This is polite in Elven culture, and she is completely listening, but it can unnerve people who feel pressured by silence lol

Shery: she still has to look at her hands to tell left from right. Like sometimes she has to make her left hand form the L to remember 😅 She also finds it difficult to do math in her head and either has to sketch it out in the air or write it down!

Riel: always leaves a bite or two of food left on his plate; rarely completely cleans his plate. Same with drinks! So many teacups that always have a few sips left at the bottom. Why didn't you just drain it, man? It's like he does it on purpose!

Chase: always takes the most meandering, inefficient way to get to a place. like if the walk from A to B is a straight line down one avenue, he always seems to take the most roundabout, random path. Here, I'll draw you a map:

Red: he is very bad at matching the pace of his walking with others; with those long legs, he walks at a naturally and totally subconscious fast pace! He's mindful about it when on a date or actively courting someone, but when he's focused on something else, excited, traveling, or out and about with friends, he has to frequently be asked to shorten the length of his strides so others can keep up lol

Ayla: I've mentioned this one for her before, but she's very bad about sharing her food. She hates when you snatch a fry off her plate without asking, and even if you do ask, she can be fairly begrudging about it if she perceives food is plentiful (like "why can't you get your own, the line is right there?") In work circumstances, like sharing group rations, she's totally fine, but in restaurants or in the refectory, she's annoyed by it, like "I loaded this plate for myself and planned on eating all of it... myself 😒 If you wanted to share something, you should have said so earlier!"

Briony: she's constantly whipping people in the face with her ponytail. She tends to turn her head really fast or spin around in conversation and whoever's standing near her ends up with a mouthful of hair. She hasn't learned to not smack people in the eye with her hair yet despite several remonstrations

Lavinet: frankly shocked, upset, and scandalized whenever there isn't a little something sweet at the end of a meal. it doesn't have to be a full-on dessert--even a single chocolate served on a plate would do, and is often preferred! but when there's nothing?? nary a profiterole or cream puff or a little sweet treat for the lady in sight?? something is off!! her palette isn't satisfied!!

Halek: he always wakes up in the morning so loudly. unfold from the bed -> crack his back, neck, shoulders with the most ungodly series of pops -> loud groan. It sounds like an old accordion getting stretched out

#Shepherds of Haven #beige flags #silly #all characters

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cat-loves-music · 2 months

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Hi Cat! I was wondering if I could request Mattheo Riddle x fem reader who gets migraines? And it would be her skipping class over getting a really bad one which is unusual and so he goes to check on her and he cuddles her, gives her head massages (and she has curly hair or it’s just not described as like easy to comb through so more of a scalp massage ig lol) and whatever else you want to add. Also they call each other like mi amor and cute stuff like that. If you don’t want to write this it’s totally fine! I love your work and hope you have a great day or night <3

Migraines

Omg hi! So sorry this took so long. Finding motivation is a pain in the ass. 😅

I also am not really familiar with migraines, so I hope I do this justice. Anyways I hope you like it!

Warnings: migraines, fluff, House not specified, fem!reader, not proofread!, somewhat shitty writing, and if there are more plz let me know!

The sound of a switch and the sudden blinding light of my dorm room awakes me from my peaceful slumber.

"Come on, Y/n! You need to get up, you'll be late," my dormmate says before leaving.

I groan as I sit up in bed, my head throbbing with pain and the contents of my stomach swish around uncomfortably inside the organ. The lights reflecting off of the vibrant colors of the dorm room make my head spin so I begrudgingly stand up to turn the light back off.

"Not today," I whisper to myself as I chase my relief in the comfort of my own bed.

♡♡♡

Mattheo's POV

"Hey Malfoy, have you seen Y/n today?" I asked him as we sat down in the Great Hall for lunch.

"Nah, mate. I would have thought you would have since you're the one dating her," he answers, shrugging.

I sigh as more of my friends come to the table.

"Have any of you guys seen Y/n by any chance?" I asked them.

"I didn't see her in class," Enzo replied, "she's almost never even late much less not show up."

"Yeah she wasn't in Defense or Charms," Pansy said, worry lacing her voice.

I get up from the table, my heart feeling like it's being squeezed. Something is wrong, I know it.

"I'll see you all later, I'm gonna go find her," I stated.

We bid our goodbyes before I head to her dorm. I arrive there and I knock on the door.

"Go away!" I hear her groan.

Twisting open the door knob, the lights are completely off and the curtains are drawn closed. Darkness envelopes the room, but I can still see Y/n's form buried underneath the covers.

"Mi amor," I whisper, "what's wrong?"

"I have a migraine," she speaks, her words slightly slurred.

I frown, "It must be a bad one because you never miss class, my love."

"Please stop yelling," she whines, "it hurts."

I walk over to beside her bed, take my shoes off and climb in next to her. Snaking my arms around her, I hold her close and she snuggles into my chest.

"Can I get a head massage please?" She requests, looking up at me with her tear stained cheeks.

"Of course, princess," I said, my heart squeezing once more.

I hate that she's in pain, sometimes I wish I could take it away from her so she'll never have to feel it again. I'd bear the burden so she doesn't have to, but unfortunately I can't so the next best thing would be helping her with a massage. My hands find their way to her head as I work my fingers into her temples and scalp. Y/n sighs in contentment as I do so.

"Thank you, love," she says, "that feels so much better."

I provide a kiss to the top of her head, "I'm glad."

For the rest of the day, we stay in bed with our bodies entwined in each other's arms.

Hi! I hope you liked it, but it’s been a hot minute since I've written an imagine so I'm sorry if it sucks. I tried my best to make it decent since I don't personally get migraines, but if you want me to add something, let me know!

@ravenclawprincess33

#mattheo riddle headcanon #mattheo x you #mattheo riddle imagines #mattheo riddle x reader #mattheo riddle #draco malfoy imagine #draco malfoy imagines #mattheoxreader #mattheo x y/n

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pupyuj · 7 months

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Don't throw me into fire pls😅😭

I only have 3 words to say:

MAFIA LEADER YUJIN

Ok that's all imma go ahead and disappear now (to deal with the chaotic aftermath of almost outing myself...😢😭😭💀)

-🐼

RRRRAAAHHH this ask was sent a month ago omg GUYS IM HORRIBLE I KNOW but off the record yuj with that suit n tie got me ACTING UP SO I'M GONNA WORK ON THIS.

[cw: g!p cuz yujin just has a cock to me all the time now, sorry not sorry hehehe 😛💦]

i know anon said mafia leader (and yes i have thoughts for that too but hear me out—) but like,, mafia lackey yuj who's just starting out in the family and she's crushing on you, the boss' super cute and super charming daughter?!! since yujin's young and new, the boss usually only makes her do small jobs and errands so she has lots of time to mess around with you 😆 the two of you starting out as friends at first :(( yujin was something so fascinating and new to you bcs you have never heard of a girl joining a literal crime gang of all things before!! she was so funny, endearing, and kind?! not to mention that she had a killer smile and a pretty fucking well-built physique... combine all of those points together and bam—there's your dream girl 😳😳

hheehehhsdk what if you have this kind of friendship that was filled with sexual-tension and real romantic feelings but being young, the former notion was stronger than the other 🫠 hanging out with the other lackeys and/or members of the family and yujin's always got an arm around your waist, your shoulders... sometimes she even gets brave and puts a hand on your thigh 👀 it drives her insane whenever you lean over to say like, normal ass things to her but the way you looked into her eyes like you wanted something and the way you toyed with her necktie just told her other things!!!

mmmsjhjsdhsjh excusing yourself to the kitchen one day after teasing yujin,, a smug smile on your face as you made your great escape but yujin was right behind you!! face all red for being so whipped for a sweet girl like you,, omgomgomg the moment you two are alone she just grabs you and kisses you??!! this being the first time she's ever done this so you're kind of taken off guard but :((( her lips were so soft and gentle on you despite the kiss being a bit sloppy,, you couldn't help but take the risk!! hehehdskhkdj letting yujin pressed your back against the wall, lifting up your leg, and caressing your thigh underneath your dress... pulling down your panties slowly while she kissed your neck,,,

"the boss is gonna kill me but fuck, i know your pussy's worth it." hitting her arm while laughing softly,, and feeling so warm when yujin smiles at you :(( she loves seeing you laugh, especially if she was the reason!! yujinnie carrying you and putting you on a countertop,, and your hands are all over her hair while she kissed you again, never having enough of the taste of your lips,, ugh she can't help but moan when you decided to leave a few hickeys on her neck,, she was too cute you just had to claim her 😵‍💫😵‍💫

it takes about a few more minutes of making out, marking each other up, and yujin reaching behind your back to unzip your dress that you come to your senses and push her away a bit,,, yujin being so worried that she might have gotten ahead of her self, looking at you with so much concern?? "not here. dad and the other's are working. let's go to my apartment. come on." giving yujin a kiss on the cheek before hopping off the countertop hehe grabbing her hand and pulling her out the doors, so fucking eager to get home and give yourself to this wonderful girl 🥹💘

and when i say that your first time having sex together happens on your couch??? both of you were too impatient to walk all the way to your bedroom so after you locked the front door, yujin just grabs you again 🤭 this time she was bolder and a bit rougher—nearly ripping up your dress in the process of taking it off, almost manhandling you to get you in the position she wants, bossing you around—and if you were being honest, you were into it! 😳 aaaaa fuck undressing yujin yourself and as excruciatingly slow as you possibly could... from unbuttoning her shirt, unbuckling her belt, to oh my god finally setting her cock free 😵‍💫

hhehejhsdhj letting yujin fuck you from behinddd 😵‍💫 her thrusting into your cunt like a rabid dog?! groaning and grunting loudly as she spread your cheeks, slapped it, dug her nails into your skin omfg... you would literally have so much going on in your lower back bcs of yujin's careless hands but ofc being the slut that you were for her, you were so into it 🤨 grabbing her necktie and pulling her down so her chest would be against your back and god this only makes her fuck into you faster 😳 the loud sounds of her hips slamming into your ass, your slick coating her dick, and your angelic moans were just too much that every second she spends fucking you only drives her closer and closer to insanity,,, yujinnie biting onto your shoulder a bit, trying her hardest not to come just yet bcs she would be embarrassed :(((

but like, you want her to??? you don't really care about the consequences of anything right now—you just want yujin. intertwining your hand with hers, looking back slightly to give her a look,, and that was all it took for yujin to completely bury her face in your hair and finally dump her load inside you, filling you up full of her cum that you couldn't help but come alongside her 🤤

"fuck.. you let me come inside you...? you know what's gonna happen—"

"yeah, yujin. you're fucking me again... that's what's gonna happen."

catching yujin off guard that she almost gasps 😭😭 you were usually so fucking sweet that she sometimes forgets that you are the daughter of a mafia boss and therefore, you can run your mouth quite well 🤭 and if yujin was going to have anything, it was guts bcs no possibilities of punishments from her 'employer' and your literal father scared her into fucking you until it was daytime 😳😳

#ive smut #ive x reader #ive x fem reader #ive imagines #ahn yujin smut #ahn yujin x reader #girl group imagines #girl group smut #girl group x reader #ahn yujin x fem reader #ahn yujin imagines #yujin smut #yujin imagines #yujin fluff #g!p ive #g!p yujin #g!p idol

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bara-izu · 3 months

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Do you have any advice on how to get over lack of skill? I want to do the Astarion Lestate trend but I don't think my skills are ready for it. I have references pictures of Astarion pulled up when I'm working, and even have the game launched so I can turn him if I need to (mostly for the attempts I did at his hair) but everytime I tweaked something or started over nothing looked right. I keep getting frustrated 😭

Hi anon- Sorry this took me a while to get to, i hope you and others can still find this useful! While the basic advise to get over 'lack of skill' is PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE! i hope this will help you knowig where to get started with that!

I'm going to put my teacher pants back on, this might be a bit long so buckle up- I'll go over a few areas:

Primitive Shapes

How to Use References

Delete your work (hear me out)

--------------------------------------

Primitive Shapes:

This is your foundation. Everything starts with this, and while you may find it boring to think of your art in terms of cubes and spheres- i kid you not it will help elevate your work.

If/when you are stuggling to draw a complicated pose, or a specific perspective, refering back to the form in these basic shapes can really help to simplify your process and help you problem solve.

A chill/silly watch for a more in depth discussion on what i mean / how this can help - Give Pikat's 'Draw boxes (correctly) to improve your art' a watch. They also mention this in the video but @/Uncomfortable on youtube also has some great fundermental videos.

-------------------------------------

How to use references.

Okay so references are great 10/10 very useful. But, unless you know WHAT to study from a reference, they can sometimes fall flat of their usefullness.

Anatomy studies are something a lot of us will be recommended as artists, but actually knowing what to pay attention to can boost your confidence in your work. Start with a goal, what do you want to get out of this sketch session? Do you want to get better at understanding the 3D form of a specific part of anatomy? Better at poses? Try to narrow down your learning each session to make it less overwhelming.

In this i'll focus on understanding the form so, lets start with a reference. Linking back to Primitives again, start off by braking down your anatomy into forms. Sketching over the top of your references is totally fine. But make sure you are doing so critically, otherwise it may look like a flat/unnatural trace and you're not really learning from it. Via the first sketch you can see where the primitive shapes fall on the body - think of it like a ball-jointed-doll, hips, knees, shoulders ect are ball socketed whereas arms, legs ect can be made up of tubes. (See the first image, when sketching your tubes, sketch your contour lines too- this can help determind how clothing / hair will fall over the body, and can help you understand the 3D Form.)

A BIG IMPORTANT SIDE NOTE - When using photo references, do be very aware that they may be distorted due to the height of the camera, or camera focal length - (you can see in my sketch i had to edit the torso and head because the reference was a little top heavy)

A few artists/books for some extra reading / reference : - Andrew Loomis (OG for body proportions, books are a little outdated but fundermentals are still useful), - Tenten云画画 (his stylised anatomy breakdowns are very interesting to me) - Anatomy Essentials (I've had this book for years, it covers lots of areas, is a bit complex though, i myself should reread it again 😅

Also, if you can't find a reference for a specific pose, don't be afraid to use 3D programs! Anatomy 360, DesignDoll, Clip Studio, Magic Poser - all nifty options~

SO taking when we've learnt from the primitive forms, you can now try applying that to the Lestrat Picture. (which, granted is a complicated pose, as it also has forshortening and an odd top down perspetive of the bottom character- so don't panic if you don't get it the first time!)

-------------------------------------

Final points- Delete your art (hear me out)

What i mean by this is, sometimes reworking the same face over and over again can bog your down. It can make it very difficult to actually see whats wrong. So, get rid of it and start again. (hide the layer/use a different piece of paper, please don't actually bin it (yet))

Next, redraw it. Use what you've learned the first time, and redraw it from scratch. (in this case, that might be just specifically the head, or the hair, or the eyes ect - you don't have to bin the whole thing, but sometimes it can really help give you a new perspective)

Once you've done this, unhide your original, compare, this may help you understand what you were doing wrong the first time. Or if there are areas of one that you like- its an opportunity to combine them as you see fit! :)

On a side note for Astarion's Hair, the lovely @mistercrowbar actually posted a breakdown yesterday! (i use p much the same method so-)

I HOPE this was of some use- do feel free to ask any questions if you've got them! i'll try to answer in a more timely manner next time 😅

#art tutorial #or more like #art tips #long post

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infiniteko · 2 months

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Hi, how are you doing?

One of the things that I think has caused these discussions that we are seeing in the last few days (you know the ones) is people thinking that you don't want to answer clearly what the anons ask (as if you were hiding a secret) because your answers sometimes sound as "vague" and "confusing".

My question is: you can't answer in a more "specific" way because that would imply the use of more words and even the use of dual concepts. Then you would be against the philosophy that you yourselves are trying to teach. That's why you have to stick to explaining in the simplest and most objective way possible, being careful not to use dual concepts?

My question was probably very confusing 😅

I'll try to give an example: you say "drop all the labels, so you can find the only real thing: the 'Self' " and then an anon asks "ok, but how do I drop the labels?" and you respond "there is no how to, you just do it".

In this case, this answer was not clear enough, because the anon was probably expecting some kind of "method" on "how to", so he and other people who read the answer may think that you are refusing to answer. But what I see, in this example at least, is that there is no way to explain "how to drop the labels", the words are not enough to explain, and if you were to use more words, you would end up falling into duality, which is controversial, so you need to stick to responding in the "least dual way possible." Am I correct of viewing this way?

(Sorry if it's hard to understand my question, english not being my native language doesn't help much 🥲 feel free to not respond if you find too confusing)

I definitely understand what you're trying to ask or say and I kind of agree with it. [long text ahead]

Here's the thing, when I first stumbled across Advaita Vedanta, it was from Swami Sarvapriyananda

and I literally cannot answer "how do I go within" questions because it is not something that can be explained, just how your actual Being cannot be explained because words are limited. There is only a certain amount of things you can say but that's not even enough to explain it. If I called myself "Awareness™️", and "Awareness™️" only, on one hand it's a good hint to the direction of what I am but actually, it is not who I really(!) Am. Because what you are cannot be put into words and this whole "don't label this and that as good or bad" is just a hint(!!). A lot of people think that not labeling something is part of a method but it's not. What I always meant and have clarified as so, was that by not labeling something as good or bad you just see it as it is. You see it as something that is just happening nothing else and whatever is just happening is nothing but "You".

Those that say it's too "vague" or that are angry and then start ranting about how vague I am on other accounts, don't fully understand anything. Because when I learned about it from Swami Sarvapriyananda, I didn't ask how to go within or what to do next or how do I get my "desires" and everything. None of us ran from one account to another for weeks just to get the same answers. All it truly takes is yourself and people don't understand that. If I would post something like "this is a how to go within explanation" or whatever, I would be telling lies because there is no "how to" go within or even worse, "how to BE". You just are, you just are yourself, you just notice yourself. There is no explanation to it because it cannot be put into words and it's something a lot of people overlook. They think that I'm gatekeeping the truth or that I don't want to help. But if I would be gatekeeping the truth or if I didn't want to help then why the hell would I even make this account? Why would I even be here? The simple answer to why can't I just explain it is because there is literally no explanation. It is something you have to do by yourself and you have to notice by yourself. You can read as much as you want to. If you don't sit down with yourself and just notice your own being BY YOURSELF,

every single word you have ever read is useless. Because why are you reading if you're not using it

or pondering on it. What is the point in gathering endless amount of information without using it? That's something a lot of people don't notice that they are literally taking one post after another without even deeply taking in what is being said or sitting down and understanding what is being said and then notice it themselves. I cannot explain direct experience to you. Direct experience is just direct experience of yourself and it is something that you are always doing, you just have to notice that you are doing it. If you see someone trying to explain what direct experience or "how to go within" is

they're far from actuality because words are far from the truth. It is not something that can be put into words and it is not something that needs a manual. You cannot put rules or limitations like a how-to tutorial onto a direct experience it is, again, something you have to notice by yourself and if you are incapable of doing that (which is impossible by the way, you just think that you are incapable) then there's nothing I can do because pointers are pointers. Swami Sarvapriyananda, Rupert Spira, Being_is_IT, Realitywarpingg (no concepts), Robert Adams, Fred Davis, etc are just a few accounts + of course scriptures from Tibetan Buddhism and the actual(!) philosophy Advaita Vedanta (NOT Tumblr's version), none of them give you a how-to tutorial, none of them explain in detail how to do something.

They just give you hints because it is literally all that can be given.

You cannot explain direct experience, you cannot put it into words. I mean, think for a minute. If "THAT" experience and can really be put into words, don't you think that someone would have done it a long time ago? We did not come up with ND. A lot of people who are new to non-dualism think that non-dualism is something that originated from tumblr by previous large account and

it's some type of method to get your desires or whatever and that's false. It's an ancient l philosophy, not a tumblr trend. Honestly, it's just funny. The AV-philosophy is a hint to what you are and by knowing yourself there is nothing else that can be done because you are "Ultimate Reality", "Absolute Authority", "Infinite Beingness".

What else is there to get if "THAT" is all there is? :')

#ask

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majaloveschris · 1 month

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Don't you ever get tired? Sometimes this whole thing is too much for me, and I think, why am I even here and care about this whole thing. I can't even imagine how you, who has a blog, must feel.

Oh, I do get tired of this a lot. Who doesn't at this point? 😅 I'm sure we've all been there.

I feel this way a lot lately. Especially in the past few months.

I still don't think it's real or anything like that, but sometimes I think to myself, Why am I here? Why do I spend time debunking something they are desperately trying to sell? The whole situation is just getting annoying and sad at this point. Back in the day, when something happened, we used to talk about it for days, and I feel like all of us were so shocked and disappointed. Now it's just ridiculous, and maybe they get people's attention for like 2 days, but I feel like most of our feelings have changed. I used to feel bad for him and sometimes even for her, but sometimes I feel like I don't even care about them anymore or if they are real or not. Especially when people have their own lives and we all have personal problems. When sh*t happens, my last thought is the nature of their relationship.

Sometimes people overreacting things doesn't help either. I think sometimes people make much bigger deals out of things that aren't that important and rile up others too. And some people think they are the only ones who can be right, which is tiring too.

It's a really interesting feeling I have. We don't know when this ends or how it ends. I've been doing this blog for almost 2 years now, and I'm just a bit tired. Nothing is the same anymore. Tumblr. The fandom. Chris. And it's not about the fact that he is "married" to someone; it's about the person he is "married" to. Looking at Chris 2024 and, for example, looking at Chris 2020 feels so weird, as if I'm seeing a whole different person.

I don't want to leave yet. I'm planning on staying, but I don't know for how long. I used to think I wanted to stay at least until the end of this shitshow, but I'm not so sure anymore.

I'm not trying to make myself a victim of being on Tumblr or act like I'm forced here to stay. Everything is my decision, and I like my blog, and I still have hope. I just told you all of this to let you know that you are not alone with this feeling ❤️

#majaloveschris #chris and alba pr #cevans-love

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limi-strology · 1 year

Text

Astro observations II

Decided to make a part 2, didn't expect the first one to get more than, like, 50 notes 😅

Based on just my personal experience, might not be true for everyone! ᵔᴗᵔ

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

┊ ˚➶ ｡˚ Contrary to the stereotypes, I don't think I've ever met a two faced Gemini. They honestly seem pretty cool people, they have so many friends and they just know how to communicate, you know? Their relationship with their partner looks really wholesome to outsiders too (but could be just me viewing it this way, lol). If anything, I think they just stand out more, which makes it a bit more difficult to approach them. 🤷‍♀️

┊ ˚➶ ｡˚ Gemini sun girls also have something aesthetic about them, like my cousin has a nice academia aesthetic going on in her life and a classmate from uni has this high-end fashion sense, she looks really pretty everytime (For some reason, when I think of Geminis, I'm envisioning luxury parties with champagne and brands like YSL and Louis Vuitton, that's the vibe I get) ✨

┊ ˚➶ ｡˚ People with Sagittarius in their big three (sun, moon, rising) are some of the most outgoing people I know. They have so many connections and, once their schedule allows it, they start planning coffee dates, hangouts with their friends, clubbing etc. A friend of mine can literally NOT stay at home the entire day, he just HAS to go out or meet up with people for at least 2-3 hours. 🏙️

┊ ˚➶ ｡˚ To the fellas with Moon opposition Neptune; How do you guys deal with moments in life that don't live up to your expectations? You know, when your imagination goes wild and has a very idealistic scenario of a certain situation, only for it to happen in a much different way and lowkey dissapoints you? Also, do you have dreams that kind of warn you or prepare you for something that will take place in the future? Because I feel like we kind of build our own world and the universe has to remind us that life isn't always perfect, lol 💭

┊ ˚➶ ｡˚ My dear Aquarians, why the pessimism? Rather than overthinking everything and imagining the worst scenarios possible, how about you try focusing more on positive things? Even if it's just something small each time, it helps you view your daily life in a better light :)

┊ ˚➶ ｡˚ Speaking of Aquas, I've noticed that most of you guys also don't really like being alone for too long. Sure, you want to have your me time (it's fine, we all do) but you also can't stand not having company around. Like, you'll randomly decide to stay in and spend some time alone but then you'll get upset and start calling your friends and family. A friend of mine cannot stand being alone for too long, even if we spend the whole day together, he hates being home on his own, to the point where he sometimes straight up takes the bus back to his hometown. It's wonderful that you enjoy spending so much time with others (I could never, lolll) but try picking up a hobby when you don't have the chance to be around people as much. It'll kind of distract you from loneliness and give you the chance to have some quality time with yourself 🧩

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

Thank you for reading, hope you have a wonderful day 💙

Edit: Bonus Observations

So a lot of you guys commented that Aquarius actually prefers solitude and could easily pass time all by themselves, so I looked into the charts of the social Aquas I know irl and see what it is that makes them so outgoing and talkative;

(I didn't include houses because I haven't gotten to confirm their birth times)

• My friend has Saturn in Gemini, which can make people talkative in any situation (I also have this placement and, although I see myself as an introverted homebody, I am surprisingly pretty chatty and enjoy going out with people that make me happy). Truly, he always gives something to talk about with everyone he knows, sometimes he'll start a conversation with another friend of his while I'm standing there not knowing what to say or do in the meantime, like 🧍‍♀️?

• He also has Mars in Sagittarius and Jupiter in Leo; energetic, lively and outgoing, thrives when surrounded by people. He almost never gets tired of hanging out with people, my low social battery could never 😅

• Other than her sun, my mom also has Aquarius in her Mercury, which makes her friendly and likeable, plus she enjoys conversing with people.

• Another thing about my mom, her placements are a bit contradictory; She has Sun in Aquarius, Moon in Virgo, and Uranus and Pluto in Libra - These indicate shyness, independence and introversion. Truly, she prefers doing things on her own most of the time and doesn't open up to just anyone. She also used to be very shy around my age (probably because of Virgo moon?). However, she also has Jupiter and Neptune in Sagittarius, which make her more adventurous, outgoing, charming and humorous. So that would probably explain this whole 'outgoing yet independent yet still can't be lonely' vibe she gives me.

Hope this explains a bit better why I had this image of Aquas at first, thanks for sharing your thoughts in the comments!

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sourle · 1 year

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Hi! May I have a headcanons or scenario for LMK Sun Wukong, Nezha and Red Son? where their fem s/o (reader) been told that they should find someone better than them. For example for Nezha, The person told reader Ao Bing (I know he's not here from LMK but let's pretend he's here) is better than Nezha because he's , Hearing what they told reader makes the LMK boys insecure or afraid that reader would leave them for someone else who's better than them (the boys).

Reader been like "Dont you dare comparing my s/o! You dont know much about him! he's actually , and I would never leave him for someone else!" Hearing what reader said what would they react?

their s/o is actually so loyal and loving towards they LMK boys, they just wouldnt leave them even they maybe have negative traits about them.

(If fem reader wasnt allowed, then GN reader pls and I apologise if this is long 😅)

Ah pardon if i can't do fem reader, as one myself i can't really well it's unless some part or some things that's only fem reader stuff than I assure you I'll write a fem reader:)

And I'm sorry if it's short, i didn't really got much ideas:(

-------------------

Sun wukong

Dating a legend that somehow some believe and some not is something alright. It's more you that got turn down and rumored about than him, and all of that he doesn't care about your comments and focus on to love you and only you!

It's probably one of his old foe or any demon really who would try to convince you to leave Wukong. But you can't so you fought back with your own words and defend Wukong before ignoring them further and walking away.

If Wukong was there, he's really glad you believed he's change and not the old him anymore.(let's face it. He's a grandpa)

He would praises you and smothered you with kisses when you guys are back home.

He loves you for your loyalties and for standing up for him.

Nezha

Comparing him between Ao bing and himself is offensive to him. He doesn't like it. At all. Considering about their past.

He usually would just ignore their remark and go about their day, but when you defend him. He really thinks he made a good decisions.

You being his lover isn't great at all. Both of you didn't spend time that much and yet you still stay with him. All he wanted was a loyal s/o and it's you:)

He would drag you away before a fight could happened between you and the person. He kept silence about it but appreciate it.

Being a touch starved himself he'll show you with a physical effection. A privilege that no one else could get.

All and all he just doesn't care if someone compared him to another, but he really appreciate those who defended him at times.

Red son

It.. was a surprise and but expected. That person just said it at the wrong time. Right off the bat he would definitely full on insult the person about this.

You being there would have to break them apart or just watch this unfold, depends on you. But it's much more likely to breaking them apart since Red son almost burn the person.

But in another scenario on you defending him would be unexpected. Since Red mostly defend himself and which that much ego he would definitely put the person on its own place by his own.

He wouldn't expect for you to defend him, with how sometimes insecure he is abot himself and that he's always paranoid about you both relationship.

He would fall deeper for you on the spot because of that. He just wants a lover that's caring and know how to help him and one that a family person;)

You defending him definitely a yes to him. As it proves your loyalties and your willing to fight off anyone who's trying to hurt the relationship.

He appreciates what you did but would tell you next time don't do it again. But you did it again.. he got no problem he just stayed in the background smirking and grinning.

#lego monkie kid #lmk #lmk x reader #lmk y/n #y/n #monkie kid au #lmk redson #red son x reader #red son #nezha x reader #nezha #lmk nezha #monkie king #sun wukong x reader #sun wukong #lego monkie kid x reader #lemon writes #x reader

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stayevildarling · 5 days

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I know you've already done something similar, but I'm wondering if you can write a billie, delia, and mina fic with reader who gets attacked and ends up forgetting things like who her gfs are and where she is? Maybe you can add your own ideas to it if ur up to it? Thank you <33

Cordelia Goode x Wilhemina Venable x Billie Dean Howard x Reader- Closure

A/N: Hi there ❣️ I apologise for the delay with this on. I have been a bit sick and busy. This is really long but I couldn't make it any shorter.

tw: mention of blood, mention of doctors and hospitals, mention of amnesia, cursing, smoking, lots of angst

word count: 11k 😅

taglist:

@lunaticwhittaker, @billiebeanhoward, @lanawinters-ily, @kenzbro, @minaslittleone, @httpfiftyshadesofgay, @whitelotus00, @ninaahs, @vintagepaulson, @isle-of-earle, @paulsonsratched, @stepintomyworld, @grilledcheeseandguavajelly, @lucyintheskywithxanax, @fanfics4world, @mymiraclewitch, @hazard-to-myself, @awritersometime, @ohrwurm26, @wastdstime

It had been a normal day at the academy, a busy weekday really, the four of you going on about your days, Cordelia mostly in her office working on academy business, Wilhemina at work and returning a little while ago, you mostly teaching classes and spending your afternoon in the greenhouse, Billie equally at work. At last, you find yourself in the comfort of your girlfriends arms, the four of you snuggled up together by the fireplace, the tv running softly in the background, drawing out the outside noises from the busy streets, some laughter still coming from some of the witches rooms.

As you glance around you, you notice Delia sitting beside you, holding you closely as the two of you are snuggled in a blanket, Wilhemina sitting in her armchair, doing some knitting, her eyes occasionally glancing at you three, the view warming her heart and causing the ever so smallest smile to coat her features. A sudden movement startles you a little, Billie Dean disappearing into the darkness of the night again as she leaves for a smoke, this time unannounced and you can't help but notice how this must have been her third cigarette within twenty minutes, and equally Cordelia watches her leave, Wilhemina's brows furrowing as usually she announced her little smoking breaks.

And as you think about it a little further, you remember how agitated Billie seemed today, unusually quiet at dinner and not sharing any details about her day, like she usually would. And then it kinda dawns on you how fidgety she had been, how she had barely said any words and the revelation causes you to jolt in Cordelia's arms. Her brown eyes meet yours, concern washing over her, before she speaks softly ,,Sweetheart, are you okay?'' she asks, almost a little confused, noticing how tense you suddenly seem. ,,I'm worried about Billie'' you announce, ignoring the voice in your head telling you not to share your concern with them, not wanting to worry them in the process. Cordelia remains silent as she glances at Wilhemina, and as their eyes lock they share a silent understanding. Despite Cordelia being the supreme, you had an odd connection with the three women, somehow always noticing whenever something was wrong.

Cordelia had tried to solve that puzzle many times, whether it was simply your intuition, whether it was simply the love you share for them and how observant you are. However she had questioned how you almost always seem to get it right, always instantly by Wilhemina's side as your senses alerted you of her pains, always by Cordelia's side whenever some danger was looming over the usual safe walls of the academy, sometimes knowing before she did. And you often knew when something was bothering the medium too, when everything was getting a little much for her. And despite never solving the puzzle regarding your senses, she knows that you must be right, also having noticed how agitated, nervous and quiet Billie had been all evening.

And before too long, the medium returns, opting for the other armchair, despite her sitting beside Cordelia moments before, her loud mind causing her to not be focused, to forget already. ,,Billie honey?'' Cordelia tries softly, drawing the medium away from her thoughts. ,,Is everything okay darling?'' she tries, tilting her head a little as three sets of concerned eyes meet the mediums. And she hesitates then, playing with her acrylic nails as a nervous habit, her mouth opening before she physically stops herself, biting the words back. ,,Billie?'' Wilhemina tries now as concern washes over her as well, never having seen Billie like this despite the many battles the medium had thought over the years, including battles with the redhead but always coming out stronger in the end.

,,It's- it's nothing'' Billie tries but her attempt is pathetic as tears already swell in her eyes, Cordelia quick on her feet to kneel beside the medium, taking her shaking hands into her steady ones. ,,Darling, please, what is it?'' the supreme tries, her eyes pleading with her, grounding her and giving her safety to share whatever this was. ,,It's work'' she finally admits, sighing in the process as she lets a tear stream down her cheek. And as you glance at Wilhemina, your features filled with pain, you both know this was serious. Billie never spoke too much about her work, only the nice parts really, including the promo tours, the fun bits of it, never the hauntings, never the ghosts. The same hauntings, ghosts and spirits that often kept her awake at night, causing her to have terrible nightmares, and the three of you often shushing her back to sleep in the end.

,,It's really bad'' she admits, more to herself than either of you and Wilhemina slowly abandons her knitting supplies, you equally abandoning your spot on the comfortable sofa, before walking over to your girlfriend and placing the same blanket that had provided you warmth and safety to her now. ,,Tell us honey'' Cordelia instructs before Billie begins slowly filling you in. Telling you three about her worst gig yet, how despite having seen everything by now she couldn't crack this one, how there was some connection to witches. How she assumes they are satanic witches who are trapped here and haunting a family, how she has been scared to go to work for the past few days, as all her methods failed. You glance at Cordelia when she mentions witches, wondering whether maybe you and the supreme could help out all things considered.

,,It's okay honey, come here'' Cordelia softly offers as soon as Billie finishes, pulling the medium into her arms as your hands softly reach out to hold the mediums, rubbing your thumb in little circles to keep her feeling safe and sound. ,,Billie?'' Wilhemina tries after a while, after the medium had mostly calmed down. ,,Are you gonna make fun of me?'' Billie chuckles through tears, not used to let her guard down like this, especially around all of you at the same time. Wilhemina's features soften then, almost frowning ,,Of course not'' she speaks calmly ,,We are here for you'' she speaks again and it almost causes for you to cry, knowing your Mina had a hard time with these sort of things.

,,Delia?'' you ask, getting her attention as she glances at you ,,I'm sure we can help'' you urge, pleading with her through your eyes. The supreme hesitates, knowing it was probably possible her being the supreme and also having the gift of mediumship that comes with her powers but knowing this was dangerous, after all if Billie was correct and if they truly had some satanic connections. As she glances around the room, she catches a glimpse of Billie who's eyes plead in desperation and so the blonde can't help but agreeing. ,,Can you take me there tomorrow?'' Cordelia asks and is met with a gasp of relief from the medium, who nods her head gratefully. ,,How about we get you to bed for now honey?'' Cordelia tries and Billie simply nods, before the four of you ascend the stairs, getting ready for your individual evening routines and eventually finding each other in bed.

That night you don't manage to get a lot of sleep, worried about your lover who tossed and turned a lot, awoken by a nightmare a couple of times but the three of you were quick by her side, holding her gently through the terrors of the night. And eventually, you give up on the idea of sleep, softly extracting from bed and wrapping a blanket around you before hiding away in the comfort of the greenhouse, glancing through some of Cordelia's books, hoping you could find something that could help out. After countless hours, the sun already rising a while ago, you are lost in several books about satanic rituals, witches and their history, quite taken back as you hadn't really learned about this type of magic before.

Cordelia eventually finds you, watching from the door where she lingers, softly smiling at you sitting crossed leg on the floor, several books around you. ,,Sweetie?'' she startles you, causing you to jolt a little. And then as you watch her approach, looking ethereal as ever in one of her flower dresses, it dawns on you, how long you had been gone, how tired you are from the lack of sleep. ,,What are you up to in here?'' she asks, glancing at the books. ,,Just some reading'' you explain yourself, quickly up on your feet before she presses a soft kiss to your lips, noticing the little bags under your eyes and guessing you- alike her, didn't get too much sleep the night prior.

Taking her hand, you follow her inside the academy again, the witches already having begun their days, going on about their tasks, as you find both Billie and Wilhemina in the kitchen, already dressed for the day while you stand there still in your pyjamas, blanket wrapped around your shoulders. ,,Where are you going?'' you ask a little confused, noticing they are all dressed to go somewhere, Wilhemina's car keys dangling from her hand. ,,We are going with Billie sweetheart'' Cordelia softly announces, her features a little tense as she knows the argument that is about to follow. ,,Wait- give me five minutes'' you announce, getting ready to sprint upstairs but Cordelia stops you. ,,Sweetie'' she tries and by the hint of guilt in her eyes you know she doesn't want you to go.

,,I need you to stay here sweetie'' she tries but you are quick to shake your head. ,,No way'' you announce, pleading with both Billie and Wilhemina, hoping they are easier to convince at times. ,,Darling it's far too dangerous'' Cordelia explains, her features stern. ,,No Delia I don't care, I'm not letting you three go alone'' you protest before Wilhemina steps forward. ,,Little one'' she tries but you are having none of it, matching the redheads usual stubbornness. ,,Why are you going but not me?'' you question and as you glance at Billie's and Cordelia's face it suddenly dawns on you. How they always seemed to coddle you, treat you like a child as if you aren't worthy of this, not worthy of adult things, of dangerous things despite being a witch and knowing how to protect yourself. ,,Please sweetie, I need you to look after the girls and coven'' Cordelia pleads and you have always had a hard time to deny her or them of anything and so slowly you cave in.

,,We will be right back, promise babydoll'' Billie announces, pressing a kiss to your cheeks. ,,Please be safe'' you beg, before Cordelia hugs you from the side, pulling you into her arms and pressing a kiss to your cheeks. ,,Promise little one'' Wilhemina announces with a smile before you watch the three of them leave. You glance around the kitchen, noticing how you must have missed breakfast and so you opt for getting ready for your day, afterwards checking the schedule for today and how neither you nor Cordelia are due for teaching today. And so the only thing you can do is pace around Cordelia's office, hating the fact that you didn't insist on going, how the three of them could be in danger, trusting both the supreme and mediums gift with all of your heart and knowing Wilhemina was tough but after everything you had read last night, thoughts of panic and concern still crash through you, causing you to hyperventilate a little.

Meanwhile, your girlfriends had made it to the house, Wilhemina had promised to stay outside, the only way Cordelia would agree on letting her drive them. And as soon as the supreme steps foot in the house, none of Billie's crew present as they insisted on investigating this without cameras, she can sense the lost and trapped dangerous spirits. ,,Follow me'' Billie tries, leading the supreme up the stairs and to the room where she had set up several of her failed methods. Cordelia's head begins pounding and aching with their screams as they must sense that a witch had entered the house, among her ranks despite a very different form of magic. As the medium enters one of the rooms, Cordelia inspects carefully, her hands hovering nearby the walls, trying to see if there was anything she could do, a spell she could cast or trying to figure out what the spirits may want and need to move on.

What all of them are unaware of though, is that the lost souls had no intention of moving on, of stopping the haunting of the poor family who had recently moved in. All they wanted was revenge, revenge for the way they had tragically been killed, despite that being by neither of the people affected by their hauntings. As Cordelia glances around, she feels a wave of discomfort course through her veins, their screams causing for her head to ache further, Billie equally shaking with their torture. And just like they intended, they managed to get into your girlfriends heads, using their magic to cause the only thing they had meant to do, cause agony and pain upon the innocent.

And as you continue pacing, you suddenly feel like losing your balance, your ears ringing as you hear an agonising scream, and it wasn't just any scream, it was Billie, the medium screaming for help and as your eyes widen, you are quick to force them shut, using your magic abilities to teleport to your girlfriends, panic rippling through your body. Wilhemina's eyes widen as you suddenly appear in front of her, your face filled with fear and panic. ,,Little one?'' she tries ,,Where is she?'' your shaky voice ripples through the air. ,,I heard Billie scream'' you announce, before brushing past her, quickly entering the house. ,,Y/N wait'' Wilhemina tries, confusion washing over her features.

Wilhemina watches as you try to ascend the stairs, taking a few steps before an invisible force takes over, causing you to fly up and down the stairs, as your body floats at first, Wilhemina's heart stopping in her chest. And then it all stops as your scared eyes meet the redheads before you are thrown across the room, the spirits enjoying their little game. A loud bang startles both Cordelia and Billie who are unaware of what had unfolded, their eyes meeting for a second before they run downstairs, finding you in front of Wilhemina on the floor, her expression filled with panic.

,,Y/N'' Billie shouts, seeing your lifeless body on the floor ,,What happened?'' Cordelia asks, glancing at Wilhemina who remains frozen, before she kneels down, taking your head into her hands, her hands quickly staining with blood. ,,She suddenly appeared and said she heard you scream Billie'' Wilhemina explains. Billie's eyes widen in shock ,,I didn't scream...Cordelia it's the spirits, we need to get out of here'' she ushers and the supreme is quick to agree.

The blonde is quick to take you into her arms, before running towards the car, putting you in the back seat before taking a seat and holding you in her arms. Wilhemina rushes to the drivers seat, Billie beside her before she starts the car. The supreme is quick to cast a few spells, trying to stop the bleeding, trying to heal you but she quickly notices that it must be more serious than this, considering her efforts are not working as the blood still poured and the colour fades more and more from your features with each passing moment. ,,We need to get her to a hospital now'' she ushers, Billie hysterically crying in the front, glancing at you and blaming herself for ever bringing her girlfriends there in the first place.

Wilhemina's determination quickly kicks in as she drives faster, focused to get you to the nearest hospital as quickly as possible. ,,Sweetie'' Cordelia tries, brushing her blood stained hands against your cheeks. ,,Y/N'' she ushers but you can't respond as the battle of unconsciousness had won a long time ago. Tears mingle in each of their eyes, Wilhemina glancing in the mirror as panic sets in, seeing you like this. Within minutes, the redhead has you in front of the nearest hospital, having ushered Billie to call ahead and as Cordelia exits the car, still holding your lifeless body in her hands, there are already some doctors and nurses waiting for you, quickly transporting you onto a gurney and rushing you inside.

The wait feels like an eternity, a lifetime of pain and memories, as the three of them pace back and forth in one of the waiting rooms where one of the nurses had escorted them to. Billie sits curled up in one of the chairs, occasionally pacing around as tears blurry her vision. Wilhemina remains standing, despite the sprain on her back, not caring about her back as all she could think about was you, Cordelia pacing back and forth, her thoughts clouded by the possibility of losing you. And as time passes on, you linger on their mind as the doctors work their magic on fixing your injuries. Cordelia keeps thinking over and over when you first joined the academy, how captivated she had been by you, at last a witch who was experienced, who she barely needed to teach anymore. How she often found you in the greenhouse as it had become your sanctuary, how sweet and polite you had been, often asking if you could borrow some of her books, how she had taught you potions a few times as that wasn't your strong suits.

She thinks back of introducing you to the other two, how your eyes sparkled, more with each moment you spent with them. How slowly you captivated all their hearts, despite Billie unsure about another person but quickly falling for her babydoll. The medium can't help feeling guilty, how she should have never told you, thinking back to all the times she had held you in her arms, how lately she hadn't done that enough, how she hadn't spoiled you in so long as her work had left her in a daze. And Wilhemina can't help but blame herself for how she didn't stop you when you walked in, regretting not having held you or kissed you before they had left. Thinking back to all of those nights where neither of you could sleep, either you finding her in the library or her finding you reading in the greenhouse, how the two of you would often read to each other, lulling each other to sleep as she would hold you close, thinking about how you truly opened up her heart.

,,How is she?'' Cordelia's voice rings through the air as she sees one of the doctors appear, startling the other two in the process and causing for the thoughts and memories to stop for a moment. ,,She's stable'' he explains, three gasps of relief echoing through the quiet room. ,,She just needed some stitches, we assume the shock and impact caused her to lose consciousness'' he carries on explaining. ,,We are just waiting for some scans but if it stays like that, she should be observed for a few days and then good to return home'' he announces before excusing himself again to finish his tests. ,,Thank you so much'' Cordelia whispers, tears lingering in their eyes, tears of relief.

,,Thank god'' Wilhemina announces, the other two meeting her brown eyes. ,,I'm so sorry'' Billie suddenly cries, startling the two, before she breaks down. ,,I should have never said anything, taken you there'' she apologises, feeling terrible as the thought of losing you causes her to lose her balance. Cordelia is quick to guide her to a nearby chair, taking her tear stained cheeks into her soft hands ,,Honey.. Honey it's okay, she's fine'' the supreme coos, Wilhemina taking a deep breath, having a hard time seeing any of her girlfriends like this. ,,We will be just fine'' Cordelia reassures, trying to coax the medium out of her state.

It takes another while, before one of the nurses guides them to a room, where you lay, asleep from the effects the drugs had on your body. ,,The scans confirm no damage'' one of the doctors returns, causing them to again gasp in relief. ,,I suggest keeping her for monitoring but she should be just fine'' he announces. Wilhemina steps forward, glancing at both Cordelia and Billie before speaking ,,Can we take her home?'' she asks, more her girlfriends than the doctor really. ,,She hates hospitals and if it's simply a matter of observing her, we can do just that'' she tries, noticing how you aren't attached to any machines anymore, how you are simply asleep, how you simply had stitches and no surgery that required any further actions.

Cordelia glances at Billie before she glances at the doctor and nurse, a little unsure whether that would be the best idea. ,,If that's what you would prefer, we are happy to provide you with some pain medication for her once she wakes, and if you have any concern or questions you can of course call or come back anytime'' he assures and that's all the confirmation your girlfriends need. As Wilhemina settles the details with the nurses, the doctor approaches you, as you finally open your eyes. ,,How are you feeling Miss?'' he questions and you struggle a little at first, with the bright sensation and the lingering pain but you quickly adapt to your surroundings ,,Fine, a little sore'' you admit and he nods in understanding before releasing you.

,,I'm so glad you are awake sweetie'' Cordelia smiles at you softly, having made a plan with Billie and Wilhemina to distract the nurses for a moment while getting your release papers and medications so she could teleport you back into the coven, figuring that may be easier given the circumstances. And with a swift motion she has you back where you belong, inside your shared bedroom, ushering you to bed before sleep washes over you again. While the supreme watches over your sleeping form, she worries whether bringing you home was the best idea, despite the events she knows your injuries don't seem serious and she also knows how hard it was for your other two girlfriends to constantly be around hospitals and doctors, given Wilhemina's trauma from those and the spirits in the hospital, making it hard for the medium and Cordelia equally. While awaiting for the other twos return, she tries calming herself, knowing that the three of them could certainly provide the best care for you.

Both Billie and Mina return within the next while, Cordelia sitting by your side, watching your chest rise and fall softly, not for once leaving your side. And when they both return, their faces soften seeing you asleep safe and sound. ,,How is she?'' Billie asks before walking over to Cordelia, her features still filled with guilt for what had happened. ,,Fine darling, she's just been sleeping'' the supreme reassures, before the three of them just take a moment to breathe after the dramatic turn of events from today. In the end they opt for taking turns, Cordelia the first one to leave for a while in order to look after the coven for a while and check on the girls, giving some of her classes for tomorrow to Zoe, so she could look after you. Next, Wilhemina retreats for a little, opting for a bath and change of clothes after the events from today, Billie the last one to shower and get changed before returning.

It's late afternoon when you awaken next, your eyes slowly opening after hearing some hushed voices, the bright sensation from the white room causing you to squint them shut, the remaining pain in your heard still lingering. After trying again, your throat feels on fire a little as you try glancing around the room. Billie is by your side straight away, smiling at you, almost beaming a little to finally see you awake. ,,How are you feeling?'' she asks, her voice ringing through the air causing your head to pound a little. ,,Wa'' you try to speak but the pain overwhelms you for a second as you force your eyes to close again. ,,May I have some water please?'' you try again, the request coming out quiet and broken.

,,Of course babydoll'' Billie ushers, reaching for the glass of water by your beside that Cordelia had placed there a while ago. The supreme by the other side of the bed, smiling at you, Wilhemina sitting a few steps away from you in an armchair. The sip of water feels like relief as it cools down the burning sensation in your throat. ,,Thank you nurse'' you speak again after handing her back the glass with shaky hands. Billie raises her eyebrow, chuckling to herself as she sets the glass back down. ,,Is there anything else I can get for my favourite patient?'' she chuckles again, Cordelias features soft and a smirk tugging at Wilhemina's lips as they enjoy your little joke.

,,No thank you'' you reply politely before turning to the other woman sitting beside you ,,What's the prognosis then doctor?'' you ask, assuming that the other blonde must be your doctor. ,,Yes Doctor, what's the prognosis?'' Wilhemina mockingly jokes, giving you a little wink, still assuming you are joking. ,,You will be just fine sweetheart'' she states, her hand brushing over your arm and rubbing little circles on it in a comforting matter, causing for your eyebrows to furrow a little. ,,But when can I leave?'' you ask, mistaking your bedroom for a hospital room as everything is still a little blurry and there is a lot of white.

,,What do you mean sweetie?'' Cordelia asks confused, scanning your features before Wilhemina is already up on her feet, noticing how this wasn't a joke, how this had never been a joke, her expression deadly serious as she approaches. ,,Little one, this isn't funny'' she urges, her features stern, causing you to feel even more confused. ,,Do you know where you are?'' Billie asks, her eyes already brimming with tears. You reluctantly look at the blonde woman who you assume to be your doctor before she speaks again ,,Do you know what happened?''. You try to think for a moment, remembering a man talking to you before in a room that looked quite different now that you are thinking about it. ,,Do you know your name?'' the woman asks again, causing one of the other two to scoff at the ridiculousness of her question. And then it kinda dawns on you how you aren't aware of anything really, you didn't know where you are, what happened or who you are, as if your memories had been wiped completely.

,,No'' you whisper, and by your statement you can tell that those people aren't doctors or nurses as their reactions felt way more personal than that. Wilhemina's eyes force close as she takes a shaky breath, her heart beating fast and aching with pain. Billie's face is stained with tears as they keep pouring, her hand still holding onto yours, squeezing it a little tighter as if she wanted to comfort you, despite you feeling the strange urge to comfort her, despite not knowing her. Cordelia's face is filled with panic, realising the extent of the situation. ,,Wilhemina, we need to call the doctor straight away'' she announces, knowing that Billie wasn't going to be able to think straight at the moment. ,,On it'' the woman with red hair announces before she leaves the room, an unfamiliar sound echoing through the room.

,,It's going to be okay sweetheart'' Cordelia whispers, her own tears streaming down her features, shocked and in disbelief this happened but still hoping they can fix this, that maybe they had made a simple mistakes with your scans, that maybe she could even fix it with her magic. The redhead woman quickly returns, telling them how the doctor was on the way and seeing their faces and feeling utter confusion, you can't help but ask. ,,Who- who are you?'' you whisper, glancing between the three of them and your words hit them like a tidal wave, as you watch their reaction. The crying blonde one sobbing, squeezing your hand a little tighter, the other comforting blonde one furrowing her brows as her eyes search yours, the redhead one's heart literally breaking in front of you, despite her features seeming angry.

,,Darling, this is Billie, that's Wilhemina and I'm Cordelia'' she explains, as she glances between them. ,,Your name is Y/N'' she explains, her heart heavy with pain and worry. ,,You had an accident and I assume you are suffering from amnesia but one of the best doctors we know is on the way and we will fix this'' she explains, bringing at least some light into the darkness in your brain as you repeat their and your own name in your mind, wanting to remember that much. However your eyebrows furrow with confusion again when they still didn't answer who they are to you. ,,But who are you?'' you ask again, knowing this was causing them pain but needing to understand. The three women simply look at each other, unsure how to explain this to you especially considering the circumstances and so noticing her girlfriends reactions, Cordelia speaks again, her usually the one taking over in tough situations.

,,We are your partners Y/N, your girlfriends'' she speaks, her eyes almost pleading with you to remember. ,,What all three?'' you blurt out, causing Billie to chuckle a little, despite the pain. ,,Yes sweetie'' Cordelia nods, before a little smirk creeps its way onto your features ,,Well I certainly must have a type huh?'' you question more to yourself than them really, causing Wilhemina to chuckle lowly. ,,Well at least you still have your sense of humour little one'' she chuckles, hoping to bring some light into the situation, Cordelia and Billie smiling warmly, despite their hearts heavy with pain and faces filled with concern.

The next while is certainly uncomfortable, the four of you sitting in silence before Wilhemina guides the doctor into the room, thanking her for coming over so quickly. Unbeknownst to you, the woman was Billie's close friends, one of her celebrity acquaintances, who eventually also became Wilhemina's doctor. She was familiar with the academy and witchcraft and so it seemed more fitting. Cordelia had showed her the scans and reports from the hospital before, doing it in a private matter because she didn't want to overwhelm you. You had slipped into a little daze of sleep, before Billie wakes you gently, as she hadn't left your side for one minute. ,,Darling, this is the doctor we mentioned'' she speaks and you watch as a brunette woman looks at you, a little torch in her hand. ,,Hi Y/N, do you mind if I take a quick look?'' she speaks and you simply nod, still feeling sleepy and exhausted. The torch blinds you a little and causes for your eyes to close ,,Sweetie I need you to keep your eyes open'' Cordelia ushers softly and you comply, letting the doctor finish her tests.

,,Do you feel any discomfort, pain or nausea?'' she asks and you glance between the four of them before nodding reluctantly, suddenly feeling overwhelmed with this as everything hurt and everything feels empty and confusing. ,,My head hurts'' you admit, causing for Cordelia to frown, Wilhemina's features stern as she observes, the worry almost drowning her in its intensity. And for some reason, your eyes search for the redhead who is standing opposite the bed, further away than all the others and for some reason you want to be closer to her as she seemed safe. You watch as all women leave towards the door, the doctor telling them how this wasn't uncommon given the circumstances, how she ushers something to Cordelia and wanting them to keep her in the loop, wanting to examine you closely over the next few weeks, wanting to get to the bottom of this.

By the time the three of them return, you are curled up in a ball, facing away from them, as tears prickle at your tired eyes, the confusion and pain causing you to feel a little overwhelmed, not understanding what was going on. You could feel all of these feelings, these things that you didn't understand. Cordelia's frame blurs into your vision as she kneels beside you, Billie and Wilhemina standing behind her. ,,Are you okay sweetheart?'' she asks, noticing your scared and sad expression. You don't say anything, simply blinking and letting the tears run before her hand wipes them gently, causing you to cringe at her touch, feeling overwhelmed by their presences as of right now. Cordelia senses it, her heart heavy with pain before she retracts her hand, sighing in the process ,,Would you like some space to rest?'' she speaks carefully, choosing her words in a certain way, to not overwhelm you further.

,,Yes please'' you speak quietly, causing for the blonde to nod and force a comforting smile before they leave, leaving you behind to sob into your pillow for a while before sleep washes over your tired body. They opt for Wilhemina's office in the end, as it was located right next to the bedroom, wanting to at least be a little close to you incase you needed them. Cordelia sighs, rubbing her temples in frustration before taking a seat on a nearby sofa, Billie standing nearby her arms crossed in front of her chest, her thoughts racing. Slowly, Wilhemina takes a seat in her armchair near her two girlfriends, her movements slow, matching both the physical and emotional pain the last few hours had left on her. ,,What are we going to do?'' Billie sighs, unsure what to do with herself as she begins pacing a little. ,,I think we need to be patient and give her some time'' Cordelia speaks, the doubt written on her features. ,,Like the doctor said, this can happen'' she repeats her earlier words.

,,Have either of you thought about what to do if she doesn't remember?'' Wilhemina questions, her voice and features stern as two blonde heads snap towards her. ,,She will'' Cordelia almost spits, the thought too painful for her to think it through. ,,But what if she never remembers us?'' Billie speaks, her eyes brimming with tears again. ,,We will make her remember honey, it will be alright'' Cordelia tries, walking over to Billie to wrap her in a comforting hug before glancing at Wilhemina, almost scolding her for freaking Billie out like this, despite knowing her concerns are valid and the supreme would be lying as the thought had also crossed her mind but she had pushed it down for now. ,,What are we going to do now?'' Billie asks, the other two knowing what she means as it was clear you needed some space.

,,We will go and have dinner with the girls, then we can check on her and see what to do'' Cordelia speaks softly and Billie nods, feeling safe at Cordelia's words. It takes a bit of convincing for Wilhemina to join them as she didn't feel like joining the girls, wanting to be close to you, look after you but knowing it may only make things worse as of right now. And dinner isn't exactly pleasant as your absence is noticed, Zoe and the older girls had asked and Cordelia wasn't really sure whether to fill them in, opting for now it was too soon and simply explaining that you had fallen ill and would need some rest for a few days. As Billie and Cordelia take care of the dishes and confiding in Zoe with what had happened as they needed to rely on her for a while at looking after the academy and girls, Wilhemina had opted to take some dinner and tea up to your room, carrying it in on a little tray.

As she enters the room quietly, assuming you are still asleep and struggling with both the tray and her cane a little, she is surprised to find you awake and looking at her. She smiles softly before placing the tray on the little table beside you, before clearing her throat. ,,How is the pain?'' she asks almost quietly, not wanting to cause more aching for you. ,,It's a little better'' you tell her, before she hands you some water and tablets. ,,These are painkillers from the doctor'' she explains as she watches you glance at them reluctantly but without thinking about it, you take them and she notices how you don't struggle in the slightest, her little one usually hating tablets and to take any form of medication. ,,You should eat something'' she ushers, softly handing you the tray with her shaky hands. ,,Thank you'' you whisper and smile softly at her, feeling a little less overwhelmed after some sleep.

She glances at you for a moment, before turning on her heels, thinking you still wanted some space. ,,Wilhemina?'' you ask, remembering her name from when Cordelia had told you before. ,,Yes little one?'' she asks, quickly internally scolding herself for the pet name. ,,Would you-'' you begin but stop yourself, unsure whether you could ask this of the woman. ,,What is it?'' she asks softly, taking some steps towards you again. ,,Would you mind staying with me?'' you almost whisper, before her eyes glisten a little ,,Of course Y/N'' she smiles softly, extracting a chair and sitting beside you. The room fills with silence for a while, as you eat some of the food that she had brought, also appreciating the warm tea as you felt a little cold. ,,Can you maybe tell me something?'' you ask almost reluctantly again and her head tilts a little at your request. ,,Of course, what would you like to know?'' she asks, unsure what exactly you mean.

,,Just anything?'' you ask and she feels bad then, not able to imagine what it must be like to forget, to not know anything. And so gently she fills you in about as much details as she knows about you, your age, where you are from, your favourite colour, your friends, the things you are passionate about. And you can't help but notice with how much softness and adoration she tells you those things, how kind you are, how nothing is ever too much for you as you loved helping out. She briefly mentioned you teaching at the academy and by now you assume that the place you are currently in must be said academy. ,,What academy is this?'' you ask a little confused after a while and for the first time, she halts, not instantly answering your question. ,,I- I think it's better if Cordelia explains that to you little one'' she tries and you simply leave it as that.

,,What time is it?'' you ask after a while, noticing how the room was much darker now, the sun having set a while ago. ,,It's 9pm darling'' she explains after glancing at her watch. ,,And so this is your bedroom?'' you ask after glancing around the unfamiliar room, seeing four dressers, what you assume to be on ensuite bathroom, and a large makeup table in the corner. ,,It's ours'' she explains a little hesitantly. And she can tell that this must be strange and uncomfortable ,,Do you feel like me showing you around a little?'' she asks, hoping that maybe the memories of this place would help you remember a little. ,,Yes please'' you reply, handing her back the tray she had given you, before you stand up, feeling slightly dizzy from the sudden movement but much better as the tablets are already showing their effects.

And so she takes you around the academy, first taking you to your old bedroom, now mostly empty explaining how you had lived there first before moving in with them, showing you both her and Cordelia's office, before taking you downstairs, leading you to the dining and living room, hoping that might spark something, considering the many nights you had spent together there. But by your reaction she can tell that nothing seems to ring a bell. And so at last she leads you to the kitchen where the other two blondes are still sitting and talking. As they notice you up on your feet they smile softly ,,Hey there'' Cordelia greets you warmly, taking in your features. ,,I have been showing her around'' Wilhemina announces to the other two ,,Perhaps you could show her the greenhouse Cordelia and tell her a little more about this academy'' Wilhemina ushers, her eyes speaking silently, Cordelia of course understanding what the redhead was implying. ,,Of course'' she smiles softly, before standing up. ,,Would you like to follow me outside?'' she asks you, and you nod, leaving the other two behind.

Shivering a little you take a look at the gardens, feeling the cold night air prickle at your skin a little. ,,This is the greenhouse'' she explains as the two of you enter. You glance around a little taken back and she recognises that face, sending her into a painful deja vu of when you first joined the academy and how your eyes sparkled that same way. ,,Would you like to take a seat?'' she offers, and you nod before the two of you sit in the quiet greenhouse. You glance at the blonde, for the first time really taking in her features and noticing how utterly beautiful she truly was. ,,About this academy'' she begins and you notice that same look of hesitation on her face that Wilhemina showed before. ,,This is Miss Robichaux's Academy'' she starts ,,For witches'' she carries on, startling you as your eyes widen. ,,This is a coven darling, the girls here are witches'' Cordelia explains gently, knowing this must be a lot to take in. She senses your disbelief and shock, before she places a hand on your shoulder.

,,I know this is a lot to take in'' she emphatically remarks before you look at her ,,Is this a joke?'' you ask, still in disbelief, despite having noticed some of the symbols on the tables as you entered and the countless books on potions and spells. ,,No darling'' she speaks softly again before her eyes lock with yours, trying to think of a way to prove to you that she was being genuine. ,,May I show you?'' she asks before you nod reluctantly. She walks over to one of the tables, extracting some rose petals from an earlier class, before closing her eyes and a beautiful white rose appears in front of your eyes. You gasp, your eyes flickering from the rose in her hand to her brown eyes. And then she watches the panic form across your features, as it all becomes a little overwhelming again, your head suddenly pounding again, ears ringing a little and chest rising and falling fast.

,,Okay darling, how about we get you back upstairs?'' she offers, noticing your trembling hands, before taking one into her hand and softly guiding you back inside. Once inside you find Wilhemina and Billie in the kitchen, their faces etched with concern as they notice your trembling state, already assuming the news would be a lot to take in. ,,How about we get you upstairs to bed?'' Cordelia offers but you pause, glancing between the three of them. ,,I- I don't'' you stumble over your words, feeling that same overwhelming feeling of emptiness again despite them having filled you in on more details. But it all feels too much, the thought of having to stay with them overwhelming despite the connection you feel towards them and knowing by now that they are your partners. ,,Y/N are you okay?' Billie asks, watching you seemingly struggle. ,,Can I stay in my old room?'' you blurt out, glancing at Wilhemina ,,The one you showed me?'' you ask.

Silence falls over the kitchen, Wilhemina and Billie glancing at Cordelia who stands frozen beside you, shocked at your request and utterly sad as you had always loved being close to them, always afraid of sleeping on your own. ,,I- the doctor recommended you to be under observation darling'' Billie tries, hating the idea of you being alone with all of this. ,,If that's what you want then of course, but promise to find us if you need anything?'' Cordelia offers, the other two shocked by her statement. ,,Thank you'' you breathe out almost in relief before looking at them one more time and leaving upstairs, struggling at first but eventually finding the room that Wilhemina had showed you before. ,,Why would you do that?'' Billie asks, her voice trembling before the supreme sighs ,,We need to give her time'' she announces before sighing. And so the three of them retract to their bedroom, without you, Cordelia checking on you once more and leaving some more water, pyjamas and painkiller with you, asking whether you needed anything but you politely declining. And so as the night slowly begins, neither of them manage to find much sleep, the bed feeling lonely and strange without you, feeling the urge to hold you close, the events replaying on their minds over and over again.

The next couple of days carry on like they had, you mostly spent your time on your own, the day after the accident, Cordelia had taken you to an appointment with the doctors, getting some more scans and checks done and she had worried since as you really didn't talk all that much with them, withdrawing almost. And you had felt bad ever since, the three of them really trying and showing you so much kindness. Cordelia had tried to convince you to sit in some of her classes, Wilhemina often checking on you throughout the day and Billie having left some photo albums with you. But you didn't feel ready, the headaches still returning as well as dreams at night, making it a little hard at times. A lot of questions had circled your mind and so the only thing you can do is toss and turn in bed for a while before eventually growing sick of it and sitting by the little fireplace in your room. As you glance around, you find a desk, your curiosity getting ahold of you before you open some draws, finding some books and when you read the title, the same question repeats in your mind, the question that lingered since Cordelia had filled you in on what this academy truly was.

You knew as much that this was your old room, your eyebrows furrow trying to think about whether they had mentioned anyone else staying there since. As you open the books, you find several pages on spell casting and potions and see several handwritten notes. Your eyes search the drawers until you find a pen, before it flies over a page, wanting to check whether this was your handwriting and whether you may also be a witch. The realisation ripples through you, your head hurting in that same way again as the handwriting is identical and then it dawns on you that you must also be a witch. The whole thing makes you feel sick, the lingering emptiness and confusion drowning you. You debate sleeping again but you knew it wouldn't come and so you opt for some water, the headache pounding into your skull. As you walk downstairs, you pass some witches and notice how they all smile at you, assuming they must have been your friends before. You take in the peace and quiet, hoping that you wouldn't find anyone downstairs, not necessarily in the mood after the realisation you had made.

Almost in a hurry, you rush to the kitchen, before you notice the three women that seem so familiar yet so unfamiliar at the same time. And you opt for leaving again before they notice your presence ,,Hi sweetheart'' Cordelia greets you with a warm smile, the other twos features equally filled with pain and longing. ,,Are you hungry honey? we kept you some dinner?'' Billie tries and you close your eyes for a moment to compose yourself. ,,No thank you'' you speak before explaining ,,I just came to get some water'' you explain, before Cordelia is quick to fetch a glass for you, before walking over and handing it to you. ,,Here you go love'' she speaks with so much love that it almost makes you feel bad for how angry and upset you are feeling at the moment. ,,Are you feeling okay? you look a little pale'' Billie Dean states, her features etched with concern.

You sigh then, trying hard to keep your emotions at bay before taking a sip from the water. ,,Sweeth-'' one of them speaks again and it bursts out of you, all the frustration, emptiness and their attempts of making you remember of making this better. ,,Can you stop'' you sigh, rubbing your head in frustration as it continues pounding. ,,Stop it with the constant petnames'' you sigh stomping your foot, their faces etched with worry and guilt. ,,And when were you going to tell me I'm a witch?'' you carry on, Wilhemina swallowing hard before glancing at the other two blondes. ,,How do you know that bab- Y/N?'' Billie asks, a glimmer of hope in her eyes. ,,I found a book in my room'' you announce, your voice matching your frustration. ,,I meant to tell you but I didn't want to overwhelm you'' Cordelia apologetically announces, her eyes filled with sadness. The room fills with silence before they notice a shift in your demeanour, your face considerably more pale, hands shaking as you hold onto the glass of water for support. ,,Are you okay Y/N?'' Cordelia tries again before taking a step towards you. ,,Please just leave me alone'' you almost shout in frustration as tears linger in your eyes ,,Y/N'' Wilhemina scolds, her cane banging on the floor once, causing for the pounding of your head to get even worse.

Without a word, you turn around, trying to ignore the stars forming in your vision and how much pain you are in. But then it all starts spinning a little too fast and you stop yourself, holding onto a nearby wall, Billie and Wilhemina standing frozen in their spot after your outburst before Cordelia rushes towards you, holding you up as your legs feel like giving in a little. ,,I don't - I'm sorry'' you whisper, closing your eyes bracing yourself for the pain. ,,I don't feel well'' you manage to somehow mutter before the blonde reaches for the glass, giving it to Billie who is now standing behind you. ,,May I take you upstairs Y/N?'' Cordelia tries, before you mutter out some sort of reply, unable to speak at this point. With a swift motion, both women are on either of your side, helping you up the stairs, Wilhemina following behind as they take you into your room, softly laying you down on your bed as hot tears stream down your cheeks. The redhead watches in pain, her heart aching seeing you in this much despair, Billie nervously pacing around a little, Cordelia taking in your features. Her hand lingers softly over your forehead, easing the pain that was so obviously written across your features and softly aiding you to sleep.

,,What is wrong with her?'' Billie asks nervously, before Cordelia turns to her. ,,I assume it's the headaches, the doctors mentioned that would happen''. And then the three of them stand there, almost a little awkwardly, feeling the urge to stay with you but knowing you wouldn't like it, given your withdrawal from them. And so they leave one by one, Wilhemina staying for a little while longer, watching protectively over your sleeping form but eventually joining her lovers a few doors away. Beside you, neither of them manage to get much sleep, Billie still crushed by the guilt of the whole thing, Cordelia's thoughts circling around what she could do to fix this, Wilhemina contemplating the outcome of you never remembering. And as the next morning arrives, they are the first downstairs, despite the weekend and opportunity to sleep in but they couldn't, not without their sunshine by their side who made weekend mornings so much brighter.

When you wake not much later, you feel almost relief as the pounding headache had stopped, as this was the first morning where you didn't wake after some very confusing dreams. The night prior lingers on your mind and you can't help but feel guilty, guilty for the way you had been treating them, withdrawing from them as they had showed you nothing but kindness. And as you change your clothes, getting ready for the morning ahead, you decide to do a little better today, wanting to try for them. When you eventually make it downstairs, the three of them are sitting by the kitchen table, Wilhemina reading the newspapers, Cordelia getting ready for something and Billie smoking a cigarette. ,,Good Morning'' your voice rings through the quiet kitchen, startling all three of them in the process as Billie almost drops her cigarette, Wilhemina lowering the newspaper. ,,Good morning Y/N, how are you feeling?'' Cordelia asks carefully, noticing how your features look much brighter and better, almost as if nothing ever happened. ,,Better, thank you'' you announce before taking a step towards them. ,,I'm sorry about last night'' you mumble, barely audible but they still pick it up. ,,I'm sorry about everything'' you apologise, their features softening.

,,You don't need to be sorry, we understand this must be a lot'' Cordelia softly reassures, offering you a seat and you hesitantly take it. ,,Are you hungry?'' Billie asks, smiling at you. You glance between the three of them before nodding ,,What would you like?'' she asks, happy to finally see you eating. ,,I- I'' you pause for a moment, unsure what you actually like. ,,I'm not sure'' you explain ,,What do I like?'' you ask and they glance between each other before Cordelia smiles ,,Let me make you your favourite Y/N'' and within minutes, you find a plate with eggs, some pancakes and orange juice in front of you. ,,Thank you'' you smile warmly at her before beginning to eat, your mouth watering as soon as you take some bites. ,,So what are you three doing today?'' you ask, causing Wilhemina's eyebrow to raise, surprised at your sudden change and as Billie and Cordelia begin speaking, it almost feels as it had before. ,,And I need to go to the markets today'' Cordelia announces before you look up at her ,,May I come with you?'' you ask, completely taking her by surprise.

The blonde looks at Billie and Mina who are equally surprised, Billie's heart swelling a little and the smallest smirk playing on the redheads lips. ,,Of course Y/N, I'd be delighted'' she announces. And so, Cordelia takes you to the markets, the car ride this time filled with conversation as you ask her all sorts of questions about witches and how you became one, asking about the things you used to be able to do and her filling you in with as much detail as possible. And it feels good, being in her embrace, her warm features, how she takes you around the markets, showing you her favourite stalls, taking you to a candle one and showing you her favourite scents, taking you food shopping and getting some ingredients to make your favourite things. And as Cordelia makes one last stop, you waiting in the car, you can't help but enjoy her presence, liking how warm she was, how ethereal beautiful both inside and out and as you return, you can't help but feel a little flutter in your heart. ,,How was it?'' Billie asks, the two of them still in the kitchen as you both return.

,,It was really nice'' you announce as you help the supreme empty the bags, despite her saying you should rest but you felt good and so you didn't want to rest. After unpacking most things, you find a bag with medication, assuming she picked those up on her last stop and instinctively you place them in front of Wilhemina. ,,Mina your medicine'' you speak, without thinking about it further. However, when you see her shocked expression, the other two equally startled, confusion washes over you again. ,,Y/N?'' Cordelia asks ,,How did you know that?'' her eyebrows are furrowed, Wilhemina's features very serious as you hadn't called her Mina since the accident. Billie looks at you with so much anticipation that you feel bad ,,I'm not sure'' you admit, scared to disappoint them again. ,,I'm sorry'' you mumble, feeling some tears brim in your eyes. ,,Hey, it's okay'' Cordelia reassures, her hand reaching for yours instinctively. And this time, you let her take it, holding onto her as she seemed safe for now.

The same pain in your head quickly takes over again, causing for you to take a step back, realising that maybe it was best to get some rest like Cordelia had initially suggested. ,,I'm.. going to rest for a bit if that's okay'' you speak softly, only met with understanding from your girlfriends, their gazes reassuring with a hint of concern. And as you return to your bedroom, you quickly fall asleep after taking a painkiller, unbeknownst that your memories must be connected to the random pains you would get throughout the days. They let you rest for the remainder of the day, Wilhemina bringing you some dinner in the evening and putting it on your bedside table as you are still asleep. The next day you had agreed to sit in on one of Cordelia's classes and so after breakfast with Mina and Billie, you make your way to the greenhouse, a lot of other witches already sitting and waiting for the potion class to begin. You listen intensively to the supreme, talking about the different herbs and ingredients, having somewhat of a hard time concentrating as again her beauty absolutely took you back. She looked stunning today, one of her black dresses, and you couldn't help but smile, despite it being ever so small, again you could feel the butterflies in your stomach, her voice so soft, her eyes burning with desire for her teaching.

As she begins to explain the last step for the potion, you can't help but feel your eyebrows furrowing before you begin speaking ,,Delia- isn't it supposed to be this one?'' you question, pointing towards one of the other vials and this time the whole class turns around. They had known by now what had happened and seeing your girlfriends shocked expression, you could tell you must have just said something incredibly stupid. ,,Class is dismissed for now'' Cordelia's voice rings through the air. They leave, Zoe exchanging knowing glances and you sit there, awaiting your fate and being told off. ,,How did you know that sweetie?'' she asks as she approaches you and then it kinda dawns on you that you had been remembering, despite it being ever so slowly. The blonde notices your hesitation, before taking another step towards you ,,This is good Y/N, you are remembering'' she smiles, her eyes brimming with tears but the happy feeling is quickly replaced by the returning pounding headache. And instead of sharing with her or them what was bothering you, the pain that had been lingering, you again retreat to your own bedroom, wanting some peace and quiet, away from everyone.

The next time you wake up, you had again slept through dinner and most of the day, again finding a tray on your beside, knowing it was from Billie this time as she always put some extra snacks on your tray for you. Curiously, you make your way downstairs, feeling a strange longing to the three women that apparently are your everything. You felt the urge to sit beside them, be in their presence. And you sigh in relief, seeing them sit in front of the tv, Wilhemina in her armchair doing some knitting, Cordelia on the sofa, chatting to Billie who is sitting on another armchair, as the two of them talk about something. You linger by the doorway for a minute, taking in the scene in front of you and strangely feeling like an intruder, as if you didn't belong. But your heart told you otherwise and so you clear your throat gently, startling the three of them and causing their heads to snap towards you. ,,Hi'' you awkwardly say, glancing around the room ,,Sweet- Y/N are you okay?'' Cordelia asks, their faces etched with concern. ,,Yes- um- may I sit with you?'' you ask, the two blondes face beaming with excitement, a small smile tugged on Wilhemina's lips. Instinctively, you opt for the space next to Cordelia besides your redhead girlfriend and again it doesn't go by unnoticed as that was where you usually sat, including in that same way.

This time they don't say anything, having noticed how their pointing out seems to only overwhelm you further. Yet they exchange knowing glances. Billie notices how you seem quite taken back and interested in what's on tv and it doesn't cross her mind until then that her show was playing in the background. She sees your features focusing on the scenes, Billie not in any of the scenes as of right now ,,Is this your show?'' you ask as you glance at her and again the three of them are taken back by how you would know that, unsure whether either of them may have managed it in the past. ,,Yes darling'' Billie announces. A little while later, the image is almost as it had been before, Billie now snuggled up on the sofa besides Cordelia, you also in the blondes arms slightly as she opted for putting an arm around you and you not refusing. Wilhemina sitting beside you three and watching with pride and the image gives her hope. She had struggled with the idea of you not remembering lately but seeing your milestones makes her unbelievably proud. As you continue watching her show, you suddenly feel an unsettling feeling in your stomach, the feeling of doom, that something was coming, something was severely off.

And then as if by some miracle, your mind is flooded with images, voices, scenes that you can't pinpoint. Your eyes widen as you vividly remember floating in the air, the screams of someone calling for help, confusing pictures of Cordelia's hands filled with blood, your blood. Suddenly your whole body shakes in the blondes arms, startling the three of them. ,,Y/N- are you okay?'' the redhead asks, noticing your shocked and yet unreadable expression. Cordelia's hand reaches for yours, trying to offer you reassurance but you freeze for a moment, unable to process everything your brain was currently throwing at you. ,,Sorry I- I'm tired'' you speak quickly before heading upstairs, leaving behind your three concerned girlfriends. ,,Do you think it was the show that triggered her?'' Billie sighs, walking over to her bag to sneak away for the comfort of a cigarette. ,,I'm not sure'' Cordelia speaks, her face filled with hesitation and concern, unsure why you had been reacting the way you did. Eventually, they opt for bed, choosing to give you some space, thinking that was what you would prefer, but despite that, neither of them could find much sleep, the concern and grief about you losing your memories and them losing their little sunshine, lingering on their minds.

If they had checked on you, they would have found you pacing through your old bedroom, occasionally curling into a ball on your bed, before pacing again as it seems that all your memories are returning. It was painful and slow, the first memories returning from the accident and the hospital, those ones particularly triggering. After followed all the good ones, each one from your girlfriends, before some more painful ones followed. And it hurt, your body on fire, as well as your mind, the throbbing in your head almost knocking the breath from your lungs. It felt like you were going through some weird magic ritual, wondering for a second whether Cordelia may have done something but knowing your Delia would never do this without your consent. And then at last, after several hours it finally stops, your ears ringing a little as the pain lingers but having sufficiently decreased. And then your eyes widen again, suddenly remembering it all, your heart weighing heavy with the guilt, not remotely able to understand how horrible these few weeks must have been with you like this. And then it dawns on you how much had been withdrawing, almost in disbelief to be in your old bedroom.

And then with steps as quick as light, you burst through your door, quickly making your way towards your real bedroom, hesitating for a moment but then the longing wins. Opening the door, not caring you find the three of them in bed, Wilhemina and Cordelia instantly jolt up, seeing your slightly panicked expression, Billie slowly turning around, a little confused. ,,Mina'' you whisper as you take in her appearance, as if you had just woken up, as if you are seeing her again for the first time in weeks. ,,Mina'' you cry her name out now, tears streaming down your cheeks. Cordelia's worried brown eyes meet her redhead lover's. And Wilhemina is quick to aid to your side, balancing on her cane before standing in front of you, her hand softly wiping your tears ,,What is it little one?'' she asks, her features soft but filled with concern. ,,I- I remember'' you stutter, and as you look up at her, her own tears greet you. She doesn't say anything, simply pulling you forward and into her arms, your head leaning against her chest, before Cordelia kneels in front of you, causing you to leave Wilhemina's arms for a moment. ,,Sweetie?'' she asks carefully, as if to make sure it really was you. ,,Delia-'' you cry out, your faces equally crumbling in front of each other. ,,My god- I'm so sorry'' you cry out, but Cordelia is quick to take you into her arms, tears of relief, rolling down her cheeks.

,,What is it?'' Billie's voice rings through the air but as she meets Wilhemina's expression, she instantly knows. ,,Oh- babydoll'' Billie whispers, quickly on her feet to equally take you into her arms. And in the end, the four of you are sitting on your bed, finally having you back where you belong. And for hours, you seem to apologise, for withdrawing, for not remembering sooner, for staying in your old bedroom. But they are quick to shush each of those thoughts, making you understand that this wasn't your fault and that they feel like they owe you an apology. ,,I'm so sorry this happened to you babydoll'' Billie apologises and by the way her voice shakes, you can tell she was blaming herself still. ,,This wasn't your fault Billie'' you reassure, before you ask Cordelia how they dealt with those spirits in the end and her filling you in. And then a silence follows, a comfortable one, finally being with your lovers again, finally remembering just why you loved each of them so much. For a while, you spent some time on Billie's lap, her telling you over and over again how brave you had been, snuggling into you, before the blonde softly falls asleep, content with having her babydoll back. Next you find yourself in Delia's arms, the blonde listening contently how you ended up remembering, her face crumbling as you explained the depths of pain you had gone through. ,,You were so brave sweetheart'' she tells you over and over again, eventually kissing you good night, content to have her little sunshine back.

And at last, you find yourself in Wilhemina's arms, your head resting comfortably on her chest as you look up at her features. It was dark, the only light source the moon illuminating the coven slightly, it was quiet, Billie and Delia's snoring softly filling the room. And then Wilhemina breaks it, telling you how glad she was to have you remember, how sorry she was and how proud she was of you. Her words are quiet, delicate and so unlike her usual demeanour. You snuggle into her further, feeling safe with her arms wrapped around you. ,,The truth is little one- I could never do this without you'' she admits and when you meet her brown eyes, you tear up again, her words so raw, filled with honesty as she fights back her walls and usual sternness keeping her from revealing her feelings like that. And so, the two of you hold onto each other through the night, eventually sleep washing over you both. Wilhemina content with having her little one back. And so after a long journey, you finally are back where you belong, right there, right now, with them.

#cordelia goode #sarah paulson #wilhemina venable #ahs #american horror story #billie dean howard #sarah paulson x reader #asks #cordelia goode x reader #cordelia goode imagine #wilhemina venable x reader #billie dean howard x reader

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