#I think about this so much because theres something so heartbreaking about realizing that from either side that this is unsaid | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

soullessjack · 7 months

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something else about the soulless jack arc that rlly … peeved? me is that it gives us both Jack’s and the Winchesters/hunters’ perspectives, but fully plays out as if we the audience are unaware of what happened between jack and mary. it’s still very heartbreaking and gutting nonetheless, but it’s also very inconsistent with how it intertwines the two. following jack, we see him and mary argue and we see him melt down and kill her and we see him feel guilt and grief and fear for it. we know it was an accident and we know that he’s been driven to a point of instability by his own guilt and we know he wants to fix it and we even see jack make an effort to do so.

however, following TFW and Bobby and company, we see them argue about what could’ve happened. Cas suggests that Jack didn’t realize it was wrong (which also implies that everybody automatically assumed jack killed her purposefully, literally giving him no leeway here). Bobby declares that theres nothing left in jack but Lucifer with his human soul gone—that he’s an unstoppable monster who has to be put down just like any other MOTW. Sam and dean argue if Jack is even still Jack and how they should approach it from there. seeing Jack’s own family discuss if and how to stop him does give some tension, but there is zero suspense because —

1) sam and dean knew from Rowena that Jack was trying to resurrect mary; they saw him bring her body back and they saw the anguished look on his face when she didn’t wake up and they heard him say “it didn’t work,” —so that’s already a huge chunk missing, and —

2) we already know the answer to every question they’re posing. instead of suspense at wondering if Jack finally tipped over the edge, we’re dreading the eventual confrontation because we know what they don’t know, and what they do know concerning Rowena and Jack’s failed spell was left out of the entire conversation after it happened.

when jack is on tv and making headlines as a doomsday bringer and dropping bodies for sam and dean to trail, we can’t be in shock that he’s doing something so out of character because we saw Duma manipulate him, saw what she promised him, and we know he’s well-intentioned despite his horrific actions (also, having jack torture/murder ppl for the sake of his family is something he’s already done before, it’s just taken to a new level without his soul to hold him back). everyone is following the narrative that jack has finally gone awol or succumbed to his true nature or whatever, and that is very much played intentionally as the teetering “will he, won’t he” question hanging around jacks entire character. but again, we don’t feel any of the suspense that question typically carries in a story because it’s already answered for us.

you cannot reasonably expect the audience to be in awe and suspense and believe jack is full blown big bad now while repeatedly showing us that jack still has good intentions. Hell, even the scene where they confront jack to trick him into the Ma’lak box is frustrating, because while Jack’s dismissive blame-shifting demeanor about Mary’s death is a reasonable tipping point for sam and dean’s anger and subsequent actions, there’s also the fact that jack very bluntly says things like “I didn’t think I’d see you again / I really missed you guys / I just want everything to be back the way it was,” that purifying the world is “like hunting,” and further more he even agrees to be locked up because, soul or not, he genuinely doesn’t want to hurt anyone anymore; all which very glaringly points to him not being as far gone as we’re supposed to think and worry about.

again, it’s all still very painful and upsetting to watch, but most of the pain comes from the fact that we know the missing details that are creating the conflict and are helpless to do anything with it, rather than the conflict itself.

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heartlvrrss · 7 months

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Doodle (part 1?)

Pairing: Haechan x reader

Word count: 1417

Genre: fluff, attempted and horribly failed comedy

Warnings: swearing, cringe and theres no kiss in this part </3 let me know if i missed any!

••••••••

A light hits my face, making me immediately move my tired arm to my face, hoping to block the horrid light from my eyes for the hope of at least getting a few more seconds of sleep.

Well that’s what I was at least hoping for before a loud voice had to interrupt me, which of course belonged to lee donghyuck, who, was also my longterm friend since middle school when we met through an awkward encounter of when my boyfriend of 2 months broke up with me, 13 year old me was obviously heartbroken and what made it even worse was hyucks loud ass laugh that could be heard from across the globe. We somehow became friends shortly after, which made me become bewitched under his charm and somehow gain a life long crush on him.

Resuming to the current situation in our 3rd year of college, here I am trying to ignore his desperate whines to get me up, there was a reason i decided to not get a roommate but if a knew hyuck would technically be the same thing then maybe i would’ve opted for the roommate option earlier on.

“wake up” haechan screams into my ear for about the millionth time making me inch one bit closer to slapping the shit out of him

“Lee donghyuck will you please just shut the fuck up, its saturday for gods damn sake.” The annoyance evident in my voice

“but you promised to take me to the new cat cafe” the grown ass man whines

“Do I fucking look like your sugar mommy to you?” istg if he says yes ill slap him

“youre not but, I am willing to take the offer just incase” that’s when I slap him for real making him let out an exaggerated yelp

“thats it. Ask one of your other hoes, im not taking you anymore”

Sadly, it seemed to not work as here I am walking with this absolute man-child to a cat cafe, once we arrived there I (obviously) firstly looked at the exterior, it was a cute little pink and off white cafe with a rusty pink chalkboard sitting outside for todays menu, a few white tables and seats with some flowers on each table to decorate it,

“It’s so cute” I squealed

“I told you it would be nice” hyuck replies but I just ignore him.

As we go in there were a few people already sitting there, eating a pastry or drinking something with adorable cats on their laps. We walked to a table by a window and grabbed the menus, taking a look at them before a waiter comes

“Hello, have you already decided on what to order yet?” She asks,

“Just a few more minutes please” I reply before she says something again

“Ok, also you too are a very cute and good-looking couple” she smiles not knowing of my mini heart attack that I’m having right now,

“Oh, we’re not a-” I answer back in shock before being interrupted by hyuck

“Oh god, she’s like a sister to me” he says in a (fake but i’m to dumb to realize) disgusted tone which, to be honest, it hurt quite a bit but I brushed it off, there’s no way I could still have a crush on him after all this time, right?

“My apologies” she smiles back before leaving.

“Well, have you decided on what to eat yet?” I ask trying to brush off the heartbreak and embarrassment rushing through my body at that second

***** (Time skip cuz Im not gonna put that much detail into that one scene)

It’s Monday (sadly) and I’m being dragged from my beloved bed by haechan as usual, earlier then usual to class,he wanted to ‘be early’ though I know it was probably to chose who would be his new girlfriend (It’s taking me a lot to hold back from slapping him and telling him I’m right here) because it’s apparently been way to long since he’s had a girlfriend (literally like 9 months).

“You know you could’ve just went alone without me” I whine

“I might look weird if I go alone won’t it look weird when I go alone and just look at other girls”

“No it would make me look like a creep”

“Do you know how many people think we are dating? Like 5 million, I think you would rather want to be a creep then a cheater to people who don’t know us”

“Now that you say that, you’re sadly correct? Y’know what, leave I’ll do this myself” He replies while trying to push me the other way

“Can you stop pushing me you shithead? Just in case you forgot we have the same class!”

********

“Can you please stop hitting me!” I complain to Haechan who’s been hitting me for almost the whole lesson

“I’m bored”

“And I’m trying to learn, so please for the sake of others and me would you please stop”

“How would it hurt others?” He says in a blunt voice

“How am I gonna support my future family because I’m getting rejected at every job because I didn’t pay attention during class?”

“I’m pretty sure I’ll be able to support us”

What the actual fuck. “Lee Donghyuck.”

“Not the government name. Scary.” He says in a ‘scared’ tone yet I could hear the smirk on his face.

***********

I don’t know why I even chose to accept to go to a party with hyuck but here I am walking with him to the party

“Why did we have to walk?” Haechan whines

“Because you need to get up and walk, exercise is important”

“Don’t act like the last time you even went near a gym was when you wanted to get something to eat from the mcdonalds next to it”

“Oh, look! We’re here!” I say trying to change the topic of this convo

“Don’t try to change the subject!”

***

“Hyuck stop drinking, you’ve had so many shots I’m not even sure how you’re even alive right now” I complain to him

“You’re not my mother” he whined, clearly drunk.

“Do you want to end up like him?” I point over to mark who’s on the couch next to a bucket of puke grasping onto staying awake which the possibility of that happening is less possible than him getting hoes “Cause I don’t feel like taking care of you in that state” I look over to haechan who is trying to look like hes asleep, keyword; trying.

“Stop pretending to be asleep, you know that trick never works on me”

“Damn it” he replies clearly bummed out about the fact it didn’t work as usual

“Now get up, I’m not going to let you stay at this place any drunker than you already are

“I don’t wanna” He has the nerve to reply knowing he’ll oblige anyways the second I say it again

“It isn’t choice get up” This time he thankfully gets up, slightly staggering before I let him hold onto me for support

“I’ll call a cab” I say after we walk out the door and he just nods most likely not listening yet still looking at me like a toddler seeing it’s favorite cartoon on tv

“You’re really pretty actually” He says out of nowhere breaking the silence

“Hyuck it’s not the time for jokes right now, you’re just drunk you’re speaking nonsense” I say, brushing of the butterflies in my stomach

“I’m not lying though” Haechan whines like a child “Couldn’t you tell that I’ve liked you ever since I’ve met you?” he says again in a more serious tone this time

“I thought you were just joking all the time when you flirted with me, besides you’re always ‘girl hunting’” I mutter, still a bit shocked

“I only do that because I think you don’t like me back”

“I thought I was pretty clear about my feelings too”

“Not really” he mutters but I choose to ignore it

“Let’s talk about this at my dorm, the cabs coming” I say still in a tiny bit of shock

“I wanna talk about this us now though”

“Fine”

“So, are we like a couple now?” I question

“I hope we are” he smiles at me

“Let’s talk more when you are sober ok?”

“I’m sobering up though” he pouts at me

“Barely.”

*****

The end? (I might make a part 2 when theyre like a couple idk or the next morning, yall decide)

#Haechan x reader #nct dream x reader #nct dream imagines #nct dream fluff #nct dream scenarios #lee donghyuck x reader #nct dream #127 x reader #nct x reader #nct imagines #nct u #nct 2023 #nct 127

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the-cat-and-the-birdie · 8 months

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So I'm typing up answers for the OC x Hobie questionnaire post that you typed up and I was gonna make a personal post about this plot point that fixed itself in my mind but I feel like you need to personally know how much you've ruined me 😭

So I'm trying to figure out how long Ansi and Hobie have known each other since she's only been a spider for less than 5 years and in the society for like 2. So how did they come to have such a close emotional bond where they have such a strong sense of trust and loyalty towards one another that I can only compare to skk from bungo stray dogs in just 2 years????

At first I was like what if they knew one another just like a year before or something. And then Ansi was like, "Oh we've known each other for longer than that actually."

EXCUSE ME

Wdym y'all have known each other for longer than that?

So apparently back when Ansi was like 8 her father had accidentally figured out how to open up the way for interdimensional travel (he's just kooky like that) and a young boy (Hobie) had accidentally gotten sucked through into their world. He had to stay with them for a good 2 and a half years before her father figured out how to send him back. (Either the glitching doesn't exist or her father figured out how to stop it.)

So when Hobie and Diane came to visit that one time Ansi had a shaking feeling that it was him. But he didn't wanna get his hopes up especially with what was going on in her world at the time. BUT IT WAS HIM. And the reunion they had CHILE THAT REUNION WAS HEARTBREAKING. After joining the society they reconnect and head in hands, WHERE DID THIS COME FROM

I think she's lying to me tho but who knows. (Your father is a genius of his time but the multiverse? Really? But wait, that'd explain why Alchemax was out to get him and....OH MY GOD)

I hope he isn't lying through because that means I just cried over nothing.

(I'm not adding this to her story.....maybe idek. I got so emotionally invested just typing up this ask. *Cough* anyways I just needed to let you know the insan- I mean the ideas that have awakened. I'm only on the 2nd section of the questionnaire and I'm terrified of what's gonna pop up in my brain next 😭)

I'm having a crisis. I hope you're happy with yourself 🥲

Ansi, Diane, Hobie, Bonding, and the Web of the Multiverse

[Screaming about my neurodivergent paracosm and how it syncs up with a mutal - and how the logic of the multiverse backs up/affects their stories] [This post is largely about Disco-Spider Diane and @spidey-bie's Ansi] THIS ASK IS SUCH A AHHHHHHAHAHHH BECAUSE AHHHHH SO MANY THINGS INTO THIS I HAVE TO-

ITS SO HARD TO ANSWER BECAUSE HOBIE IS IMMEDIATELY LIKE 'CAN I SAY SOMETHING' SHUT UP YOU CAN SPEAK AT THE END

The background Ansi gives you and the logic of what Hobie and Diane just did CONNECTS - like it all connects (Sorry this is lone)

And I'm SOOOOO SOOOO intrigued for their background. I plan to write a full post about this and explain fully what clusters are, how maps work, the function of bonding and how they work -

But this is how I 'learned' about all these things

I was interested in how certain universes would look if the multiverse was based on a flowchart like system to make a web - so I made a map of the multiverse based on attributes like style, time, and where they live -

AND FROM MY CALCULATIONS - NO JOKE - Ansi's universe would be the closest universes because he and Hobie share a cluster.

I explain like the logic of it in the post I'm finishing up BUT Ansi and Noir would border Hobie's in this map - and the closer universes are the more stable the transfer between them is.

SO WITH THE MAP HOBIE COULDVE REASONABLY FELL INTO ANSI'S UNIVERSE

AND WAIT THERES MORE - I was finishing up the Multiversal Map and realized Hobie and Diane were having a really good day at the boathouse

And then they introduced me to a whole new concept that we directly see in ATSV - Bonding

Multiversal Bonding -

[A long ass rant where I explain something wild Hobie and Diane just did in my head - and how it directly explains HOW Hobie fell into Ansi's universe too]

Diane and Hobie were doing their thing and then suddenly they shared a moment of this intense like...vibe, mental space idk

And afterwards they're like "oh yeah that happens because we're Bonded. Like Universe Bonded"

And I'm like WHAT WHAT IS THAT??? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT

and this is where it goes wild...

Diane is like 'I...don't know. Something just happened what happened.'

What do you mean you don't know? I'm asking her to describe it and she's like 'umm errr' and Hobie isn't saying anything he's all dreamlike

Now all of this is happening directly after ATSV like an hour or two after they get everyone and head to Hobie's universe. - Gwen and the others are at the boathouse

Then Peter B. starts talking.... HUH??? Excuse me?

Hobie genuinely stopped and was like "wait how r u here, like in roman's head how are you here' like he's actually stunned. I DIDN'T know he could manifest in the boathouse

And Peter B. is the only one who knows what this term means. He had to explain it to me before I understood what they were doing

Peter B looks at Diane and Hobie and goes "........like Miles and Gwen?? How Gwen can feel Miles' spider-sense? Bonded'

Gwen is like 'ME AND MILES ARE BONDED????'

And Diane is like...we what now, i did what to the multiverse what does that mean

Peter has to explain the concept.

Miguel knew about bonding, and that two spider-people of close universes can 'Bond', and for a part-neurological, part-social link between the two of them.

This happened with Miguel and his partner Moche - and Miguel outright rejected it. As he's against Spider-people being together, and he believed Moche was better off with someone else

(he was actually just scared to accidentally kill her like he did gabriella but thats neither here nor there)

He instead chose to withhold the information of Bonding from the Society, and watched for it closely.

Only he, Peter, and Jess knew bonding was possible - and that's why Jess was SO against Hobie and Diane.

And everything just kinda clicked for Diane how brainwashed the society had made her cause for YEARS she was told having feeling for Hobie was wrong and NOT possible

But now that she's left The Society by her own choice, it was the last hurdle for them to finally be fully bonded.

SO NOW THERES THIS WHOLE NEW CONCEPT AND ASPECT TO THEIR 'RELATIONSHIP' AND IT AFFECTS SO MUCH

Like they can sense each others location, react to each others spider sense, if one of their hearts starts racing the other will feel it too. Now Diane can use his guitar as a club in battle. IN HER WORLD Hobie LOOKS NORMAL - in his universe she looks like him - since they can just slide into each others universe easier. Diane is less likely to glitch out, she just needs to wear the watch for a short time each week so her DNA can reach baselevel again

AND WHEN THEY FIGHT TOGETHER THEY GET INTO THIS FLOW STATE And they can just fight in complete tandem with each other now

And it's like !!!! They just did that???? Suddenly. Like looked into each others eyes at an emotional moment

(Diane's first time seeing Hobie after leaving The Society - A rundown

Hobie asked her to come with him before leaving the society, she said no because she wanted to stay for Jess and Gwen - A VERY HARD moment for them. Hobie is really wounded by this.

- Gwen gets sent home - Diane swings on Jess - They put her in a cage and let out after six hours. - Diane went immediately to Hobie's old abandoned dorm room, finding out Hobie still left parts behind for her.

She figured out how to hack herself based on all the times she watched hobie in the workshop - but she cant do it because she's missing one part and she's so frustrated with herself -

Jess comes to apology for Miguel and gives Diane Hobie's watch, an older model - insists Diane take it - Diane over his old watch and finds out Hobie's watch has the finally part she leaves - she hacks her watch and finally leaves the society)

This happened the movement they reunited with each other on the bow of the boathouse

then it was like a switch like not bonded to BONDED and NONE of us knew what that mean until Peter B said anything

But more than anything ITS LIKE AFTER SO LONG THEY HAVE THE WORD TO DESCRIBE WHAT THEY ARE WHEN THEYD BEEN AVOIDING IT FOREVER

They can finally just say "We're bonded."

Because it's not a romantic thing, it's not like that AT ALL. It's like a mental clarity between them like their understanding and connection to each other is a lot more clear and they can feel the other's emotions more clearly (but there's a distinction. Diane knows when she's feeling Hobie's feelings. it's a subtle thing, not a total emotion)

So that from their prior relationship they're now a lot more frictionless, but unchanged if you get what I mean

Like now Hobie annoys Diane more - Diane is down and free to go full groupie mode theyre suddenly REALLY good at planning and fighting together, and having each others back

The kind to do conversations like "Did you-" "Yeah, were you gonna-" "I was but before I was gonna-" "Handle the other thing? Oh okay that makes since." Like not even finishing sentences but understanding conversations totally

I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT HAPPENED

About Bonding: (according to how Peter B explained it to me)

I explain it more in the multiverse post but basically its when two spiderpeople of nearby universes form a bond that at a certain point a switch is flipped -

since their dna's are so similar (being from close universes) it's easier for people of closer worlds - and people someone is BONDED to - to assimilate into the other's world, and feel their sensations.

This connection is almost permanent - though it goes dormant - and it can happen to anyone destined to be a spider-person. They don't have to be bitten yet.

Gwen and Miles are bonded, which is why she can feel his senses across universes.

And it's like a concept I never saw about the movie just became explained based on a totally unrelated situation Diane and Hobie had separately.

BUT ALL OF THIS IS TO SAY - Ansi & Hobie

Using this logic (I came up with at 5am while on a coffee binge) - Ansi's placement is CLOSER to Hobie's than Diane's is.

Hobie and Diane only share one cluster : The Time Desynchronization Cluster.

BUT Diane is from New York - so she's also apart of The New York & Adjacent Cluster with Pavi and Noir, while Hobie isn't.

And because Ansi is from Seattle he isn't in the New York Cluster either - so Diane's universe is farther away from Hobie's than Ansi's is. His universe is closer to Hobie's than Noir as well (as Noir also lives in NY)

And because of this - It's completely possible for Hobie to tumble into the next universe over.

AND ALSO because of this new unrelated term I learned from Peter B. of all people - his Ansi and Hobie bonded as young kids it would slow or totally reduce his multiversal decay.

Since their universes are so close, the multiverse can easily 'heal' itself without collapsing or shifting too much

Since they're so close, it's like the thread hasn't fully snapped. Because Hobie is close in proximity to his universe still, his universe hasn't 'noticed' enough to collapse in on itself

So as long as they found a way for Hobie to find equilibrium every week, or month, or even less - he's good.

Hell, if they bonded early it might even have been a year of him being there before any signs of glitching came on.

Even though Diane and Hobie are bonded, she still can't assimilate totally into Hobie's world 100%, because their universes are still a little farther apart. She can slip into his style or go in his universe unnoticed, but there's still that fraction of multiversal different. That's why for her, multiverse decay takes a week to set on instead of minutes or months.

Also bonding is permanent or near permanent - like it takes decades to wear off, though it may get weaker or dormant over time. But Ansi seeing Hobie come through the portal after all of those years and the bonding just KICKS IN and their spidey-senses go off

Diane sees this and is like ????? 'Hobie r u okay what r u feeling' cause he has this unreadable look on his face because one of the reasons he joined the Society WAS TO FIND ANSI.

He could figure out the watch on his own - but by going on missions and recruits he was just HOPING to find him one more time and finding out his universe number and he FINALLY DID

Immediately recognizing the house and being like 'damn im home.'

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHHHAAAAAAAAAAAA

I think your Hobie was right. Oh and...because I told him I would, here's Hobie.

H: We're always right. -Hobie please.

Would you like to explain how Bonding feels? H:...No words for it really. We're Shining, basically. (OMFG He said this and I was like - no way. That's weirdly out of character. The Shining wasn't out in the 70's. - NOPE The book came out 1977. IT'S A NEW RELEASE TO HIM. I SWEAR I didn't know this I don't even like Stephen King. I've never even read the bookHOW DID HE KNOW THAT)

H: Because I'm always right. -All you do is irk my nerves. That's enough outta you.

Diane. Do you have anything to say?

D: Me currently

Okay. How does Bonding feel? D: (Basically just squealing - after the initial shock she just kept jumping on his back)

Say hi to Ansi. D: OMGG I feel so far out right now!! Literally, like my brain is so OUT there. This is WICKED. COME OVER. are you busy? PLEASE tell you two have kid photos of you together. I NEED to see! - I think she has ADHD too D: It's like he's IN my head - Now you know how I feel.

That's it from them, they're spent and SO AM I

I hope any of this made sense cause I KN OW I sound like

AHHHHHHH HERRE AHHHHH

Bye.

#no proofread AT ALL #SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG TO ANSWER EVERYTHING WAS LIKE...YOU KNW...CLICKING #hobie brown #spiderpunk #spider punk #spidersonas #spidersona #hobie x oc #disco spider #atsv #uhhh #yeah #Diane & ansi #The Lucky Charms

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komorisansgarden · 9 months

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i watched nimona for the first time the other day, and ive decided that yes, i will talk about it because how could I not.

i would touch on the art or the general plot, but honestly i need to talk about nimona herself first because wow did her character really resonate with me.

As someone who is queer, gnc and neurodivergent, i felt so represented by her and the way she’s treated. its no secret that there is a lot of queerphobia & ableism in the world, and theres an obvious parallel between how she’s treated and how real queer/nd people are treated irl, but i think theres so much more too.

I loved how Nimona just existed. She wasn’t afraid to run around outside and be a person. She walked through the streets, she interacted with people, she did people things. All of that made it so much more heartbreaking when you see the difference between how she’s treated before & after people find out she’s different. I felt that so much. Because I’ve been there. There have been times where I’ve had multiple, full, amicable conversations with people, and the second it comes up that I’m queer, they’ve become withdrawn. I’ve had a girl tell me “I’m just going to pretend I didn’t hear that” when I offhandedly mentioned I’m not straight. And it hurts so badly to see that shift in people around you when they find out you aren’t like them.

On top of that, I connected so deeply with the emotional turmoil she faces. Near the end, when she’s about to turn into the ‘shadow monster’ (not sure what else to call it), we can hear overlapping voices of people calling her a monster, or saying she’s unwanted. And a lot of it is Ballister, obviously, because of how close they’ve gotten, and he was the most recent rejection she’s faced. But something that I realized while watching is that (correct me if im wrong) I’m fairly certain most of what we hear coming from ‘him’ isnt actually things he’s said. As someone who’s had their fair share of mental breakdowns, it was so interesting to not only see a visual representation of what it feels like (the visuals were so stunning and hit really close to home), but also (possibly) a peak into what happens inside your head as well. There are lots of things that people have said floating around her mind, but also there are things that people haven’t- things that her mind has simply made up in a moment of complete chaos and turmoil.

Then, when she turns into the ‘beast’, we don’t really see much of her actively attacking. She’s mostly just walking forward towards the Gloreth statue- to the giant reminder of the person she loved most, who then hurt her most. We see her in an almost unresponsive state, only really reacting when she’s been hurt. And then she gets to the statue, and decides to give into the thing people want from her. I probably would have cried when we hear her thinking back to her comment of sometimes wanting to give into it, if it werent for the fact i was watching with my brothers. And speaking of that quote, I also felt that super deeply- not only the actual message, but the fact that it’s clear its not something she actively wants. It’s something that rings in her mind during really harsh moments, a silent urge to simply give in, and its scary. Its terrifying. And now, while shes in a nearly catatonic state, shes going to go through with it.

Im not sure how to wrap this up, because its currently midnight and this is basically my brain running through all the ways that i felt Nimona’s character in my soul, but,,, i suppose the take-away is that the movie is great and it did a great job at resonating with me in regards to mental illness and living in a world where people hate even the idea of your existence.

#also dont even get me started on how she reverts back to a younger-looking state when she saves that one kid #and how shes also in that form when she turns into the shadow creature #and how it feels almost like its a subconscious or natural form for her #which may or may not imply that she hasnt truly aged since she became(?) a shapeshifter #i havent read the source material so idk how much that might align with any canon past she has but #either way; her having a breakdown while in Child Form(TM) broke me #as someone who has struggled with mental illness since i was like 8…#yeah that hit a bit too close to home #im rambling again #tldr: watch nimona its great #nimona netflix #nimona #komorisansrambles

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honeybeekao · 2 years

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Top 10 enstars relationships (doesn't have to be romantic!)

im so glad i can draft ask responses because i cannot do this all in one go, im not that insane

1. madarei - who would've guessed! i know ive sorta defined myself with them, which wasnt intentional but i'm very very fond of characters who help eachother feel more human, and worthy of life. putting self sacrificial little gay people together is my favorite thing! they care too much about others it makes me lose it. i feel like the way madara can't not hate certain people contrasting with how rei can't not love certain people is interesting. i think the way they both retreat from connection because of how they view themselves as evil monsters is heartbreaking. they were both driven overseas at age 17 and grew up in weird situations. i think they deserve a break, both need more sleep and love, and they should also kiss probably

2. oh god here we go with the kaoru relationships chiakao - theyre so gay and stupid and oblivious are you Kidding me. chiaki's head over heels actually and kaoru has no idea. he also will not acknowledge how much he cares about this sunshine boy or why he feels the need to call him a sunshine boy and i feel like every pairing w kaoru is just trying to win kaoru over. get him to realize he also has a heart that beats a little too fast when in the same room as certain people. date plan is my favorite story is it obvious have i said this before idk i love kaoru so many people love kaoru Hey kaoru. there's a fic i really love where kaoru takes care of chiaki's wounds during 2nd year and it's so good. it establishes that chiaki is on his radar, but he wont acknowledge it and chiaki's just like 0_0 the entire time. i feel like kaoru's proud of him for how far he's come and that's probably a mutual feeling since they both changed a lot.

3. the oddballs - they make me sad catch me sobbing over the oddballs bot on twitter, their entire story is so aighdfgddgkxdg Flails hands in the air! kanata feels like the center to me despite rei's existence just because of how important the student council taking control of the fish cult is. taking lonely characters with extreme talent and skill n isolating them more is so evil and kanata specifically just???? adhhhghhghgghughh definitely appreciates and loves the others as dear friends, the beginning to him and shu's relationship is interesting to me of Course shu doesn't like him originally. but they have similarities in that they grew up with no friends, just one was praised and worshipped while the other was bullied. big difference there. also good lord my memory on everything with wataru is failing me right now just know i really like the oddballs. REI AND WATARU IN AQUARIUM MADE ME SO UNBELIEVABLY HAPPY.

4. reikao - are they popular and basic to some people? yeah. do i care? absolutely fucking not i love them, platonic or romantic it doesnt matter i really like them and i have a kaoru polycule rotating in my brain. i think the way rei gave kaoru the chances he needed to establish his identity as an idol is amazing and rei is soooo fond of him. so unbelievably fond of him <3 kaoru being able to get past his fear of commitment because his need to be helpful is stronger means everything to me, him helping rei out with leading undead. jzjfdjgkg loses my mind

5. crazy:b in general - theyre so dysfunctional i cant believe they manage to make it work. but at the same time i'm just incredibly fond of them. the way himeru sees kohaku as similar to kaname makes mecgkdhfhfh OUHGHHFFHHGG and the way kohaku does in a way reciprocate that brotherly affection. specifically loved when he was like "hey guys! listen t'himeru!!" rinne and niki are a disaster theres something so horribly silly about niki being at the center of madness constantly. poor guy. and it's not even that himeru and kohaku are necessarily disasters, it's just that rinne likes him most so he ends up the center of chaos. also he's the one working a normal job DGJDFJFDJ i think they all think too much and should voice their thoughts more, that'd solve many problems. im looking at rinne directly.

6. chiakana - ohhhh themmmmm the beloveds the angels i wanna cradle them in my arms. married couple but the happy married couple. i said this before but chiaki absolutely gets hurt constantly performing tricks, and kanata scolds him for not being careful and i think theyre best friends for life!!! i Love that chiaki teaches kanata so much and i love that like. chiaki meets this weird lonely guy and cares about him . chiaki has a big heart chiaki would risk drowning a million times to save kanata. THE LINE WHERE KANATA BECOMES RYUSEI BLUE MELTED MY HEART oigh ryuseitai OUHFJDHH also them hugging. that's all.

7. reikei - i try not to let them make me sad but if it happens it cant be helped... divorced </3 the way that rei still thought of keito as a childhood friend while keito was just overcome with jealousy Man keito has made a lot of mistakes in his life tjdjfjgjg my eloquence on this is so gone i think everything with deadmanz is a fucking nightmare rei im so sorry. i do think they can reconcile, like u say the enstars characters are really young and have an entire life ahead of them. i think about your reikei drabble when i think about them because it's cute and i love how you write keito

8. izukao - my friend got me into them Really fast, but then dance on ice ruined my life and now i need to see kaoru talk to izumi more. they constantly wanna impress eachother and kaoru is so casual with him it makes me lose it. the fact that izumi says kao's only redeeming quality is his looks? i dont believe you. you Gotta at least commend him for his dedication to u. i think kaoru's in love with him he just doesnt know it also i love their nicknames for eachother ALSO ADDING IN CHIAKI 3A trio my beloveds!!!! theyre disasters Ough. i love kaoru this entire post is just a lovepost to ksoru. he deserves so much love all these bitches love kaoru

9. narumika - Sidenote why is narumika the popular name and not aramika? is it because of the name naruchan and the fact she prefers that? it feels like a tododeku situation w inconsistent ship names but anyway awwwawwawaw theyre ride or die friends for life mika is arashi's poor little meow meow i forgot who said this to me but theyre So right. mika could do anything and arashi would not bat an eye, she'll support him til the end! the way she worries for mika's wellbeing is really sweet, and i think it's so good she's there for him. i'll admit i havent gotten too far as far as seeing/reading canon moments but know i will one day because im fond of them

10. rei and a forehead kiss goodnight

#enstars #once again not proofreading but i think.im good #clockwork 🕷#enstars tag

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pupuseriazag · 1 year

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tw: venting about unlove:

Four months have passed after that "man" broke my heart. Treated my like he was interested, talkrd daily with him, he was there for me in some low moments (during which I would cry because I didnt felt enough for him or anybody), flirted and showed me signs he wanted me

Only for him to suddenly start being less and less caring with me, stopped giving me all those words and spent less time with me.

And I, in a stupid moment of weakness... Confessef my feelings for him

Wanna know something funny? He didnt reply in the moment. I talked to his friend and he listened to me talk how much I appreciated and loved him... How much I was willing to do for him. And he agreed we would've be nice together... That he was rooting for us and he was glad he had found someone so "nice" and "caring" as me.

He talked to him... 3 hours later he gives me the bad news... He is mad and sngry at his best friend for using my heart and not actually wanting to b with me... but still leading me on to believing we had a chance.

I was broken again, man. How. Many. Fucking. Times. Has. It. Been.

Time and time again I end up likr a fool.

And then he texted me. He was sorry for making me go thru that... After I had told him I was on the verge of stress for no one wanting to put the effort or wanting to fight for me.

He said that for weeks he did felt love for me... But realized he did not wanted to actually make the effort.

Thats when it happened. Thats when I got confirmation that no one would fight to be with me. Thats when I got confirmation that Im not enough for anybody... That theres something in me that people are easy to let me go.

Why am I not interestinf enough to keep them around? Why am I not pretty or handsome enough to keep someone? Why am I not... Anything actually special...

I was going everything alright... I've never hurt anybody and yet Im always the one hurt

My heart realized that night... That no one will ever truly love me like I love them...No matter how hard I search. No one will come to my life like I daydreamed when I was a little child. No one will work hard to be with me, no one will. No one will make sure I understand I am so....So very loved by them. No one will rver treat me right... And for some reason I dont deserve it.

But I know I do dederve it. I do deserve all those nicr things... But why does it never come? Why am I always thrown back to the ground amd forgotten?

I dont want to turn into the "I CAN love myself 😤😤" because I dont love myself. Being me has never made anybody feel like they want to fight for me... Not even myself.

And you knoe what I hate? I fucking despise the "Oh calm down! :) God will give you a nice MAN soon! Its all God's plan and God's timing is perfrct 😌"

I DONT WANT TO KEEP FUCKING WAITING. I'VE BEEN WAITING ALL MY STUPID LIFE TO HAVE SOMEONE LOVE ME DEEPLY AND NO ONE TO THIS DAY HAS EVER DONE SO. WHY DOES GOD WANT ME TO GO THRU THIS?! JUST SO I CAN """VALUE""" THE ACTUAL ""CORRECT"" PERSON?! I ALREADY FUCKING DO THAT WITH EVERYONE.

ITS FUCKING UNFAIR FOR ME TO ALWAYS HAVE BEEN EITHER A FUCKING EASY TO LET GO PERSON AND NEVER HAD ANYBODY SHOE ME THE ACTUAL LEVEL OF LOVE I NEED AND DESERVE I FUCKING HATE IT I HATE IT A LOT

I DONT DESERVE ALL OF THESE HEARTBREAKS

I DONT DESERVE ANYTHING THAT HAPPENED TO ME

SO IF GOD HAS ANYTHING IN PLAN FOR ME IS PROBABLY JUST TO FUCKING LAUGH ST MY FACE FOR EVERYTIME I BELIEVE I FOUND THE CORRECT PERSON.

WHY CANT I HAVE LOVE NOW???? WHY CANT I FEEL LOVED NOW??? WHY DO I NEED TO KEEP WAITING AND FALLING AND FALLING IN NEW TRAPS SO CALLED LESSONS?!?!

ITS ALL BULLSHIT TO ME

I just... I dont want more people... I think I deserve love... But it always feels like god and the universe dont think I do...

So guess what? You won. Enjoy seeing how from time to time I cry again to sleep becquse of how unloved I feel. But I wont try it again. I wont open my heart to anybody in that way again.

Enjoy watching how I have to write fanfics and hyperfocus on those becquse I want to feel some type of love nesr me... And at least my mind is good and crrating those peope that do care for me

#moona rambling #Sorry I just...#Ya estoy hasta la vergs. Honestamente

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anothertorturedsoul · 3 months

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The first time i ever felt healing in the past years was yesterday.

It was the first time ever we kinda talked about whats going on. I asked if it was making him feel uncomfortable and he said no but he can imagine how i felt uneasy about it.

This alone healed some broken bits and pieces inside me. I never really thought that he cares about how i feel. At least he never told me. That might be because he doesnt want to make it any harder for me but how would he know that the contrary is the case?

I always say that i made my peace with those feelings, but in fact the first time i actually felt a little peace was yesterday.

Still there are unsolved questions on my mind. Especially one. He had so many girls in all those years, i assume he had sex with most if not all of them. We were never an official item but he could have had me like any given time tbh, there were lots of oppertunities, but he never did.

Why?

At some point me and my now husband became a thing, i get why he wouldnt cross any more lines than he already did at that point. Always touching me in some way, flirting and making me go crazy, he enjoyed that and i did, too. ̶i̶̶ ̶̶m̶̶i̶̶s̶̶s̶̶ ̶̶t̶̶h̶̶i̶̶s̶.

But before that?

Maybe he wanted to protect me from being haunted but jokes on me, we all know how that went.

Maybe he actually always cared more about me then i knew and i am something special to him. But my mind tells me „haha honey you wish“ right now.

While typing „you are my brothers wife“ echoes through my head. Thats what i am to him, at least thats what he told me once.

Big ouch.

This man is my first love. That one-of-a-kind love that drives you into pure insanity, can‘t think straight and haunts you at night. I already had a crush on him when he kissed me for the first time but since that moment i completely fell for him. This kind of love is something that you only experience once. Nothing will ever compare. I do love my husband more than anything. But its different.

I still remember the day i decided to open up my heart to let somebody else in. His mother told me that he loves me and how she hopes i wont give up on him. I cried on my way home so much that my skin was sore, when my now husband showed up and tried to cheer me up. He hugged me and I cried until his shirt was soaking wet. When he looked at me and carefully wiped the tears off my face, i realized that he was always there for me when i most needed it. He always wiped away all those tears.

I needed to let some healthy love into my life and i decided to allow myself to love someone else. When i was a teen i thought you can only love one person truly but now i know thats just not true.

The lovestory of my husband and me was chaotic and painful as well. All that drama with his ex girlfriend, he cheated on me and told me about it years after. If he had told me right away when it happened i would have left. And that would have lend me down into my favorite toxic spiral again. It hurt nonetheless. After years and years of jealousy, pain, rejection and heartbreak you decide to kinda move on with the guy who always was your best friend and seems like the most precious human being. And him of all people goes straight into breaking your heart.

I think thats my type or something.

When i finally opened up about my feelings to my best friend, because she saw this little screw in my purse, i was hit with a lack of understanding. She asked why i would still spend time with him, that i dont sound like a married woman, why i wont break off contact, i would only make it harder for myself.

The thing is, those two men are the best of friends. They are literally like brothers and my husband loves him more than his actual brother.

Even if i wanted to, which i dont, theres no way i could avoid him.

I know most people will never understand how this feels like. But i have found my own way to cope with it. Having my little crumbs keeps me happy and maybe one day i will heal and those scars will fade. But i realized that i cant heal them on my own. I need the one who caused them to help me.

̶i̶̶ ̶̶n̶̶e̶̶e̶̶d̶̶ ̶̶h̶̶i̶̶m̶̶ ̶̶a̶̶n̶̶d̶̶ ̶̶m̶̶a̶̶y̶̶b̶̶e̶̶ ̶̶i̶̶ ̶̶a̶̶l̶̶w̶̶a̶̶y̶̶s̶̶ ̶̶w̶̶i̶̶l̶̶l̶.

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anonym0usl0vers · 9 months

Text

The bug collector

I hardly write in this anymore, but maybe I should make more of a conscious effort to, A lot has happened recently. Well, I guess not recently. It has been over the span of about 10 months now. So much change, transforming, learning, anger, dread, anxiety and lastly, depression.

No one seems to know what to say when it comes to this. Most people that experience heartbreak and abuse have experienced it in romantic relationships. But it seems that I am so used to heartbreak in romantic relationships that I have learned how to cope with those, and navigate through them. A fear of that doesn’t hold a place in my heart.

For a very long time, I wanted to be friends with everyone. I wanted to show up for people even if they didn’t show up for me. I had strict boundaries in place for everyone around me, but somehow never my friends. I never understood why I could never be fully open with some people. I was always angry with myself for not being open or feeling comfortable around certain people. But now I realize there was a reason for that. These people all have single-handedly betrayed me. I still cannot wrap my head around it. Certain situations, like the one with Jess do make sense to me. But in terms of Celeste and Josie, I don’t really get it. I want to understand why Jessy did what she did, but I still can’t totally wrap my head around it. I also am so tired of being hurt from it. I don’t want to be anymore. I don’t want to feel like this anymore at all. But sometimes I feel as if everyone around me is against me, and cannot just see that I am literally trying so hard to just exist in this word and do at least something slightly meaningful to make it worth while. I’m not trying to hurt anyone or do anything to anyone.

I crave connection with friends. Real connection. Rebecca is so far away. All of my other friends are pretty far too honestly. And everyone else.... I’m realizing arent really friends but something of a facade. What do they really know of me? What do I really know of them? Why do we hang out when we both don’t really enjoy it or talk about anything other than whats surface deep? Why have I wasted so much time on shallow friendships? Was it another way to prove value to myself? Was it me trying to feel likeable? Was I just so bored with myself that I needed some sort of company rather than being alone? (Unlikely honestly, because I love being alone probably too much.)

I have so many emotions. I have these sea-sawing emotions of feeling happy one second, to irritated, to depressed and hopeless. I feel like there is something wrong with me and I keep trying to diagnose myself with something. Am i bi-polar? Do I have BPD? I mean I know I have PTSD. But why can’t I just give myself a break and realize there is a LOT on my plate. Then there is the impending doom to save my money and buy a house. But I don’t even know if I want to buy a house because I’m not even sure where I want to live or be.

Theres the situation with my dad where he is literally decaying and basically being neglected by everyone around him. We are all drowning to do our best with our normal lives, and then there is him. And now I see all that is actually going on by living here. He shouldn’t be here. He needs more care in every aspect of it and I keep trying to let my family know what I think needs to be done, and I KNOW I am right in this. I am so confident in it but they don’t care. My brother won’t even come out here and my sister almost seems to like having to take care of my dad. As if it validates her as being some sort of hero, and gives her more of a reason to talk down to me.

I can’t even believe I thought that my sister and I were passed all of the petty arguments. She is the same as she always was, and sometimes I feel as if both of my siblings just like me to be around to step off of me and feel as if theyre on higher ground. I’m so tired of it. They always say how much they care for me and love me but then somehow can never really show it. And yes, in some ways they help me like getting me a job or lending me their car. But where were they when I needed someone to lean on emotionally? Or when i needed help moving the two times I moved within a month? When I needed help redoing my dads basement to make an appropriate place for me to live or when I had issues with the house here? And then I have Laura still telling me how I don’t do enough. But can she not see I am also drowning? We’re all just fucking drowning and how can they help me if their heads are just above water? Most importantly, why am I still trying to help other people when my head is just above water? Why am I pouring my last drops in my cup into other peoples cups? But how do I say no? How do I not be there for someone else?

I want to fill up my cup. I’m trying so hard to find a steady rock, a piece of wood to float on. I’m trying to get out of this but the thing is, do I keep struggling to find something sturdy to hoist myself out of the water? Or should I just let the current take over. Should I stop struggling and let the water fill my lungs.

Do I go out more? Do I stay in more? Do I ride out the pain? I need answers and I really need someone to help me navigate through this.

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bangtangalicious · 3 years

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what would fmf!jk do if oc didn’t listen to jk and actually dated someone and ended up falling in love, how far would jk go to get her back?

so lets say you fall in love with taehyung bc he’s such a sweetheart in this. i hope you like this anon <3

tw: jealousy, possessive behavior, toxic fuckboy mentalities, fuckboy!jungkook, manipulation, implied smut, angst (sorry lmaoooo), heartbreak, selfpity, sabotage, poor taehyung rip, implied slut shaming (this part of the fuck me forever au)

weeks after hearing the news that you and taehyung were actually now dating, jungkook would find himself at the bar every night, drinking away the pain and throwing himself at others. he’d fuck two or three people a night, but his mind was always full of you. he was sick of you. no. he missed you.

he’d see you and taehyung around campus being all cute together. taehyung kissing your forehead, making you laugh, holding you in his arms the way jungkook used to

he’d sweat it off at the gym, pounding into the punching bag like there was no tomorrow. he couldn’t sit around and let you slip away from him. not any longer.

he’d hit you up, hellbent on doing whatever he needed to sabotage your relationship before he loses you for good. he’d text you asking to meet, showing up at your place when taehyungs not around. he’d want to try to drive a wedge between the two of you

he knew youd tell taehyung youd been spending time with him. he wanted you to. because he knew taehyung would advise you not to see him. to cut him out of your life.

and that was the key. jungkook would start putting the idea in your head that taehyung himself was overly possessive, not wanting you to spend time with your own best friend—how ridiculous !

jungkook knew all your deepest insecurities, and would exploit them to the fullest in order to to make you doubt taehyung’s commitment to you.

he'd point out whenever other girls would talk to him. whenever taehyung would say he was too busy to see you. it would become the bane of his existence, making sure to catch taehyung slipping whenever he possibly could. he'd fill your head with wrong notions, reminding you all the reasons you felt you were undeserving of someone loving you.

then he'd recommend breaking up with him.

in the meantime he'd go around telling all your mutual friends that you still sleep with him even though you claim to be dating taehyung

taehyung may not believe it, but everyone else does.

eventually they would start judging taehyung for being complacent or naive. saying that you’re taking advantage of him and getting away with cheating on him because you’re just that hot

despite how hard taehyung tries, it would eventually get to his head. he would blow up at you accidentally one day and you would start to think that maybe jungkook was right about taehyung being possessive. you weren't used to being in a relationship either. so you’d dump him then and there

jungkook would be overjoyed when you tell him, calling him in a mess of tears. he'd come over right away and take full advantage of your heartbreak & vulnerability. hold you tight. be the friend you knew and loved. the one you needed.

sssh baby its okay. im here now aren’t i? everything will be okay. i got you.

you’d realize just how close he is, your lips would draw into him like a magnet. he’d make sure you kissed him first.

you’d want to give him everything, let him take complete control so that you could feel numb.

let me take away the pain baby. i can make it all go away. let me treat you right.

jungkook would then begin to fuck you sweetly. with care. getting into your emotional mind. filling you with love & adoration. making you feel wanted. making you feel beautiful.

he has no idea what he’s missing out on. you’re a fucking goddess y/n. you’re the hottest girl in the entire world. you drive me crazy.

you realize that no matter how hard you tried to deny it you still had feelings for jungkook. you always would.

this would overwhelm jungkook. he loves you too. but he’s afraid. afraid he’ll mess up and you’ll leave him. afraid that you’ll hurt him, get bored of him before he gets bored of you. he likes having to chase you. he likes the freedom of having you only when he’d like. he can’t be tied down, he can’t! its suffocating to think about. he doesn’t want what you and taehyung had.

he'd panic internally, but decide to entertain your feelings for the night if it would keep you this eager to please him and let him rail you repeatedly, all night long. however he wants.

god im fucking in love with you baby. i love you so much

as he would push his cock deep inside you. he’d promise you love. friendship. the knowing comfort that you’d never ever be alone—you always had him. he was yours as long as you were his.

you’re mine. all mine. don’t ever let anyone touch you again except me. im the only one. tell me im the only one. show me how much you need me.

he would fuck you over. and over. and over again. lips glued to one another. never parting as he pumped you full of his cum until you couldn’t even move.

such a good fucking girl. so perfect for me. wanna fuck you just like this for the rest of my life

in the morning taehyung would show up begging for you to give him another chance. jungkook would answer the door in nothing but his boxers, telling taehyung everything he needed to know.

once he would leave jungkook would grab your phone and block taehyungs number. he didn’t want to risk the two of you communicating and fixing your relationship.

he’d lie down, thinking about his actions as he watches you sleep. he couldn’t do it. he just couldn’t do it. he’d blink back tears of frustration, hating himself more for stealing something good from you—his best friend—for his own selfish needs.

he wasn’t good enough for you. you deserved better. he recalled with a pang in his heart all the promises he made made while making love to you for so long last night. he was rotten, and he knew it.

so when you you woke up.

he was gone.

a/n: basically he’d manage to get you back but then he would leave bc. he’s an asshole. IM SORRY HAAHAHA. theres a happy ending in the works ok dw.

#jungkook scenarios #jungkook angst #jungkook imagine #fuckboy!jungkook #jealous!jungkook #jungkook smut #jungkook x reader #bts scenarios #fuck me forever extras

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idgivehimroses · 3 years

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why draco and hermione would have been an AMAZING canon pairing (if written correctly/given the chance)

i am well aware that with the way the books are written, draco and hermione would never have been compatible because he’s incredibly prejudiced and just kinda mean and i wouldn’t want that for her. also romione is cute. HOWEVER, i think it is important to think about how amazing and heartbreaking a draco/hermione pairing could have been if draco had been given a proper redemption and character development. allow me to explain..

- now don’t get me wrong, it would not be simple at first. draco is a rich, sheltered, 11 year old boy raised by essentially racist parents. OF COURSE he’s going to show up to hogwarts hating muggleborns, he’s never been taught anything else.

- but imagine draco gets to hogwarts. and he’s been told his whole life that he’s superior. he has all this pressure from his father to be the best, and he’s trying is absolute hardest but despite his best efforts theres this one girl that always comes out on top. hermione granger.

- and to make matters worse, hermione granger is a muggleborn. a MUDBLOOD. the audacity. but imagine this causing a lightbulb to go off in little draco’s head. because if she’s supposed to be inferior, how is she the smartest witch in his year?

- so maybe he’d tease her a little at first. but then this turns into a bit of a competition. who can get the best grades, who can master spells the quickest etc. and despite all odds, the pair form an unlikely friendship. i also firmly believe that while harry and ron were wonderful friends to hermione, draco would be able to match her academically in a way that they couldn’t.

- and draco still has quite a bit of prejudice at this point. hermione constantly calls him out on it, and he insists that “he doesn’t mean her” when uses the term mudblood and things like that. but slowly he’s realizing that maybe everything that he was taught as a child isn’t as true as he once thought it to be.

- lucius instructing draco to choose someone suitable like pansy as his yule ball date, and he reluctantly agrees. however, once he sees hermione come down the stairs that night he can’t seem to pull his eyes away. that was the moment he knew he was screwed. he even pulls her for a dance that night, the picture of the pair on the dance floor in the prophet the next day serving as a big fuck you to his father lol

- “FORMER DEATHEATER LUCIUS MALFOY’S SON DANCES WITH HARRY POTTER’S MUGGLEBORN BEST FRIEND AT THE YULE BALL: Will the family’s long standing bloodline purity end with young Draco?”

- draco receiving a howler from his dad the morning after the headline posts, and him simply burning it without even allowing it to finish and squeezing hermione’s hand under the table

- draco standing up to his father, demanding to know why everything he was taught as a child were lies. him basically getting told he has to choose between his inheritance and hermione and he doesn’t even need to consider it.

- draco reluctantly being cordial harry and ron for the sake of hermione, and the three of them actually kind of getting along after a while.

- draco being the only slytherin to join dumbledore’s army (for hermione of course), but also because he wants nothing to do with his family’s beliefs anymore. there’s some hesitancy at first, but eventually everyone accepts him with open arms

- draco being shocked that people can be nice and want to be friends with you without something being in it for them.

- draco being invited to the burrow when his family refuses to let him come home for christmas and holidays anymore.

- draco actually having a support system his sixth year and hermione comforting him through his guilt when he watches his parents support a leader who basically wants the most important person in his life dead. lots of catharsis lol but essentially hermione reminding draco that his family and his past don’t define him and that he can create his own path and choose to become something better

- “you’re not them, draco.” “i very well could have been.” “but you’re not. you can’t blame yourself for their mistakes.” “don’t you understand, they’d torture you if given the chance. merlin, hermione, they’d might even kill you.” “maybe so. but they don’t matter to me. you do.”

- ron dating lavender legitimately because lavender just wanted to be loved and honestly without hermione in the picture they could have been cute.

- draco being worried sick when hermione is out hunting horcruxes, offering insider information to them whenever he can based on what he knows from his family.

- draco’s heart breaking when he sees hermione’s mudblood scar from bellatrix. “i’m so sorry i ever called you that. i’m so so sorry.”

- the two of them fighting side by side in the battle of hogwarts, her squeezing his hand and whispering “you’re okay” when his father beckons him over to the other side.

- the two of them basically living happily ever after and having adorable bushy haired blonde babies 🥺

- i mean COME ON it totally would have emphasized the idea that you can educate yourself and grow and have different beliefs than your parents/family. also that love is stronger than any prejudice and will win in the end. also i’m a hoe for star crossed lovers.

- basically i just wish my dude draco could have gotten the redemption and happy ending he deserved. he had so much potential as a character smh mans just needed a support system and someone to guide him he was so young

#harry potter #draco deserved better #draco x hermione #dramione #draco malfoy #hermione granger #ron weasley #draco #lucius malfoy #draco and hermione

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butgilinsky · 3 years

Text

december // mb

warning; heartbreak. that’s it.

summary; after he’s left alone in an empty apartment with the weight of the world on his shoulders, mat comes to realize that december’s his least favorite month of the year. based on the song december by neck deep.

word count; 3.8k+

add yourself to my nhl taglist!

mat doesn’t know how long he’s been walking around the block. all he knows is that it’s hard to see, even harder to walk straight, and he can’t shake the itch he has to call you. he just needs one more time, just one final attempt at hearing your voice, even if it’s just your answering machine.

“hey, this is y/n! i’ll get back to you-” he hangs up then, decides that he doesn’t have the mental capacity to leave another message.

it’s only been two weeks, but mat feels like it’s been years since he’s seen you. his heartbreak is just as fresh as it was when you walked away from him, tears in his eyes and mind going through the motions of trying to put itself back together again. two weeks isn’t long enough to heal from the gaping hole you left in his heart. there’s not enough time in the world for mat to heal properly.

he comes to the realization that he’ll never be the same fairly quickly. he thought you were it for him. he thought that every obstacle would be tackled by the two of you together. he thought you’d be in this shit show called life together, for the long haul. he can’t say it’s not his fault, can’t say he tried as hard as he could. he took you for granted, and he knows that now, but now it’s too late.

he thinks that december is the worst month to be face heartache. he can’t take you home for christmas like he planned, can’t kiss you when the clock strikes midnight on january first. he doesn’t get to see you shudder from the cold despite him telling you to bundle up ten times before leaving the house. the christmas decorations that line the street are a constant reminder of the ones you lined the apartment with, and mat starts to think he’ll never look at christmas decorations the same.

when he gets back home he sees a pair of your shoes by the door. he sees the christmas card from your best friend sitting on the table in the entry way. he sees little traces of you, almost fooling him into thinking you still live there. he has to remind himself then, your stuff is here but you’re not. you told him you’d pick everything up after he went to vancouver, wanting to limit your amount of contact with mat, but that only made it worse for him.

you didn’t want to see him anymore. he wants to see you, and you want nothing to do with him anymore. it’s a hard pill to swallow, losing you so quickly after having you for so long. he knows he should understand, knows he should come to terms with the fact that he wasn’t the best he could’ve been. he wasn’t the man he should’ve been, nowhere near the man you deserved. you asked for simple things and mat told you he’d never be able to give them to you.

he thinks about how hard it’ll be to go home, to open gifts on christmas when he knows that theres a pile of boxes in the back of his closet that’ll never be opened. he knows that he should return them, should take them back to the stores before his grace period expires, but he can’t bring himself to even look at the boxes. he can’t bring himself to return the gifts he bought for you, can’t imagine going over each individual one in the process.

tito offers to do it for him, says that he has a pair of pants he needs to return anyways, but mat knows better. he knows his friend is just doing what he thinks will help, and while it’s heartwarming, it’s also gut wrenching that his friends think he can’t take care of things himself.

the first time he sees you after you walked out is at a restaurant, sitting across the table from a guy he’s never seen before. anders asks if he wants to leave, says that there’s another place they can go to right around the corner. mat shakes his head and slides into his seat, says it’s fine even though it’s not.

he sits with his back to you, figures that’ll make it easier to resist the temptation to look at you. he doesn’t know that you watched him walk in, watched him slide into the seat facing away from you. he doesn’t know that your heart sinks into your stomach when you see him turn his back to you, silently telling you that it’s simply too difficult to look at you now.

you excuse yourself from your table, the man across from you offering you a worried smile before you walk to the bathroom quicker than normal. you grip the edge of the sink, leaning over it in case your stomach fails you. the world around you spins, makes it harder to catch your breath that’s only getting worse with every passing second.

you try to ground yourself, try to tell yourself that you did what was right for you, that this is what you wanted. it’s what you needed. you remind yourself that you want things that mat can’t give you. you want things that mat doesn’t want to give you. you need a life that mat can’t provide.

“what do you want from me, y/n?” it’s the same fight, the one you’ve had too many times to count. you ask for something simple, ask him to do the bare minimum only for him to act as if you asked him to pull the moon out of the sky and shove it in your pocket.

“i want you to tell me that we’ll get there! i don’t need it now, mat, but-”

“but that’s the thing, y/n. you do need it now. you want me to throw away everything i’ve worked for because you want some stupid house with a red door and shrubs around the lawn. you want to get married on a beach or in a forest. you want to have a large wedding, a reception in a big ballroom where everyone is smiling at you like you’re the only person in the room.

“you want kids that pull on your hair and draw on the walls. you want to settle down and have a life made for thirty year olds who sit in cubicles from nine to five and then go home and eat dinner at the kitchen table. but i can’t give that to you. you want a life i can’t give you.”

it hits you at full force, like a tsunami that nobody saw coming just before it wipes out an entire city. you try to ground yourself, try to bring yourself back to the restaurant bathroom that you’re in, rather than your place in the middle of your living room, crying and begging mat to just listen to you.

you don’t think you’re ready to leave the space just yet, but you’re reminded that you’re not here alone, and the guy at your table is probably worried that you’re crawling out of the bathroom window.

you run straight into someone on your way out of the bathroom, chests colliding into one another before you’re both rushing out apologies. you’re almost knocked off of your feet by the force, and grip onto the first thing that you can reach, which happens to be the person’s forearm.

anthony’s hands steady you, making sure you don’t topple over in the heels that are suffocating your feet. he tries to mask his shock with a warm smile, tries to hide the sympathy that’s eating away at him. it doesn’t work, but you can tell he’s trying.

he noticed the red rimmed eyes you’re sporting, and the way your eyeliner is smudged just the slightest bit. he notices the indents in your bottom lip from where you were just chewing on it to conceal the sounds of your sobs. it’s not the first time he’s seen you in a state similar to this one, and he’s not sure if he hopes it’s the last.

you see him look back at his table and make the mistake of following suit, feeling every muscle in your body tense when you find the same set of eyes you’d missed for two months. you can’t tear your eyes away from him, can’t even bother to notice that the guy who brought you here is watching the entire exchange.

mat doesn’t know what to do. he doesn’t know if he should look away and pretend like he never saw you or if he should get up and go talk to you. he doesn’t know where the boundaries are drawn or if he’s invited to overstep them regardless of what they entail. he wants to ask you, wants to stand up from his set and rush to take tito’s spot. he wants to hear your voice and feel your touch, feel his heart intertwine with yours in a bed shared by the two of you.

anders brings mat back, clapping a hand on his back and trying to integrate him back into the table’s conversation. you look at him for a little longer, only brought out of your thoughts when you hear anthony’s voice.

“y/n-”

“i have to go.” you leave him before he can say anything else, walking up to your table and rushing out a slew of apologies as you gather your things.

“i’m sorry, i have to go.” he notices the tears building in your eyes, asks you if you need a ride home or money for a cab, both of which you turn down but thank him for. he’s not sure what just happened but he knows you can’t stay here for much longer without tipping over the edge, so he lets you go.

you walk by his table then, trying to ignore the fact that you’re so close to him. you ignore the call of your name and cover your mouth with the back of your hand as you inevitably catch the attention of half of the restaurant.

“barz, don’t-”

“y/n!” he’s out of his seat and running after you before any of his teammates can bring him back down.

he doesn’t care that the whole restaurant is watching, doesn’t care that he’ll see stories about the exchange in the morning. he just focuses on you running out of the doors the best that you can, focuses on the fact that he’s getting closer to you with every stride. it’s not close enough, but it’s the closest he’s been in a long time and he’ll take anything he can get at this point.

“y/n!”

“don’t do this, mat.” it’s the first time he’s heard your real voice for month; the first time it’s not your answering machine or his saved voicemails from you. it’s not in a video he can’t seem to stop watching, or a figment of his imagination in the middle of the night. it’s you, and you’re here. for a moment, he thinks he’s dreaming.

“baby, please.” you move when he reaches for you, trying to hail a cab as quickly as you can so you can get the hell out of this situation.

“i can’t do this. please, mat, please don’t do this. i’m begging you.” he feels his heart sink at the desperation in your face, somehow coming to terms with the notion that you don’t want to talk to him right now, and you probably don’t want to talk to him ever again. “i can’t do this to me mat, because if i let you tell me what you’re thinking then i’m not going to be able to walk away from you.”

your words hit him at full force, almost knocking him straight off of his feet. he’s not entirely sure what weight your words held, but he does know the he wishes you’d give him the room to explain why that wouldn’t be such a bad thing.

a cab pulls up to the curb and you’re reaching for the handle before he can get another word out, even though he doesn’t have anything else to say. he’s forced you into conversations that you didn’t want to have for months, he can’t bring himself to do that right now despite the questions swimming around in his mind.

he watches you slip into the backseat, locking eyes with him one more time before shutting the door and begging the cab driver to take you home. he knows he messed up, knows he should’ve stayed in the restaurant, knows that he shouldn’t have let you walk out in december.

you’re gone before he can process it. he’s left standing on the edge of the sidewalk, his hands shoved into his pockets and his eyes glued to the spot where you once stood. he feels a hand on his back, hears his friends telling him that you just needed time, that it was still all too new for you to face.

but they don’t know you the way he does. they don’t know that you’re never going to be ready to face this. they don’t know that all you wanted was mat in a big house with a rose colored door, and all he gave you was the opportunity to find him passed out in the bathroom at three in the morning, too drunk to crawl into bed.

he hears tito say the same thing he always does. the four words he hates to hear, but can’t seem to get his friend to stop muttering when the situation arises.

“pain is never permanent.”

he bites his tongue, doesn’t want to yell at tito and tell him that he knows that, but tonight it’s killing him. he doesn’t say that december has become his least favorite month, that he wishes time would slow down so he wouldn’t have to reach the end of the year.

the next time he sees you is a few months later. this time you’re in the park, hand gripping a leash with a dog he’s never seen on the other end of it. he feels his heart threatening to jump out of his chest when he sees you leaning into someone’s side, his arm wrapped around your shoulders. he has a leash in his hand as well, a different dog on the end of it.

he doesn’t know if they’re yours or his, the dogs. he doesn’t know if they’re still puppies or fully grown. he doesn’t know if the guy you’re with is your new boyfriend, or a friend that’s overly affectionate.

he gets his answer, unwillingly, when you turn to the man and smile brightly, watching as you push yourself onto your toes and press your lips to his. mat feels bile tickle the back of his throat, feels the gut wrenching feeling that comes with a heartbreak that’s never subsided.

he wonders how he’s forced to see you like this. the city’s so big, and he had to be at the same park as you and him today. his jog picks up pace, his frustration being fueled into his early morning run.

you see him when he passes you, eyes locking for just a moment before he looks ahead of himself once more. you know he’s mad, know he’s still grieving, but then you’re reminded of the man beside you, his hand squeezing your shoulder just as the dog on your leash gives you a firm tug as a reminder of where you are and who you’re with.

you smile at him and tell him that yeah, you’re fine. you walk with him, only glancing over your shoulder once. mat’s already gone, no sign of him anywhere in sight. you almost wonder if you’d made up the entire thing in your head.

it’s december again, and when mat reaches up to scratch his neck, he’s reminded of the facial hair he’s sporting. he remembers a time when you ran your fingers over his jaw, scratching gently at the stubble forming.

“should i shave it?” you hum, almost not hearing his question. he asks again, peeling his eyes away from the tv and looking down at you.

your head’s on his chest, and your eye are wide with admiration as you look up at him and shake your head. you tell him no, that you like his facial hair and it makes him look about five years older. he smiles, despite the fact that he asks you if that meant you didn’t like the babyface he usually wore.

you smile then, rolling your eyes and squealing when his fingers dig into your ribs. you try to swat him away, but he rolls the two of you over and effectively traps you between him and the mattress. he only stops when you struggle to catch your breath from laughing, both of you wearing wide, cheesy grins while holding eye contact.

you lean up and press your lips to his, humming when he pushed back against your lips with added pressure. his fingers dip down to your hips, gripping them slightly before slipping under the material of your shirt.

mat has to pull himself out of the memory before his mind goes too far. he can’t spend too much time dwelling on the moment, or he’ll back out. he can’t back out, not after getting this far.

he needs to tell you, needs you to know that he wants the best for you. he wants you to have everything you’ve ever wanted in life, even if he isn’t the one that gets to give it all to you.

he wants you to know that he loves you, and will until his last breath. the years he spent with you weren’t like anything else he’s ever experienced, and he has a feeling it was a once in a lifetime opportunity.

your smile spreads a warmth through his chest. he notices that it doesn’t reach your eyes, but neither does his. he walks into the coffee shop, know that there are so many thoughts bound to be left unspoken by the end of this. neither of you know how to start this conversation, but you take the first plunge.

“you look good.” he lets a soft laugh slip, not understanding how that can be the first thing you’re saying to him after all of this time. he takes it in stride though, and bites his tongue so he doesn’t return the sentiment.

there’s not much small talk. it’s practically impossible to sit in front of the other and pretend like the last few years never happened. he can’t act like he doesn’t know how it feels to wake up beside you, or have your lips moving up and down the skin of his neck. you can’t pretend you don’t know how it feels to watch him score a goal, or two, or three, and be the one that gets to go home with him afterwards.

so he takes a deep breath, and you sense the hesitation coursing through him. he notices your patience, remembers how that came in handy over the course of your relationship. he gives you another small smile, and grips the cup in front of him as a way to keep his hands occupied while he starts to speak.

“i just want you to know that i want you to be happy. i know that you are, and that makes me happy. i hope you get your ball room floor, and your perfect house with rose red doors. i know that it’s been a long time, and i couldn’t tell you that when-” he swallows, and attempt to stop the lump from forming in his throat. it doesn’t work, but it adds a sense of comfort in a weird way.

“i want you to know that i’m happy for you. i wish it was me, and i’d be lying if i said there’s a point where i won’t feel like that, but i know that you wanted things i couldn’t give you. i hope he's better than I ever could have been.” he doesn’t say that he doesn’t think that’s possible, and he doesn’t say that he’s ready to give you everything you’ve ever wanted, everything you asked him for a year ago.

he doesn’t say that he’s ready now, that he’s at a place that he didn’t think he’d ever reach. you don’t get the pleasure of knowing that mat’s ready for this, for you. you’re left with the thought that he’ll never be ready, and you’ll never be given the chance to see mat mowing the lawn of a big, two-story house with a red door and a wrap around porch.

you don’t tell him that you want to hear it, that you need to hear it. you don’t tell him that you’d drop everything you have right now if it meant that you can live that life with mat. he doesn’t get the pleasure of knowing that you’re silently begging him to ask you to leave your new life behind and run away with him. he’s left with the thought that you’re satisfied with what you have going for you, and he’ll never be given the chance to see you in a beautiful white dress, walking towards him with a smile so bright, he thinks it’ll blind him.

you sit across from each other, biting your tongues and holding back words that would change everything if just one of you would simply spit it out. if one of you could build the courage to just say what you were both thinking, your lives would change once again. your lives would finally end up being everything you wanted them to be.

but you don’t say anything, because you don’t think there’s a place for you to say it. mat doesn’t say anything, and he thinks he’s doing the right thing by holding back. he thinks he’s come to terms with how his life is meant to play out, and you think he’s still incapable of reaching the point that you need him to be at.

you leave the coffee shop with a weight on your shoulders that wasn’t there when you arrived. your stomach feels uneasy, maybe from the coffee but definitely from the realization that you’d never be able to move on from mathew barzal.

mat stays in his seat after you leave, not being able to hug you goodbye or watch you walk back to your car. he can’t find it in him to move from his spot, trying to give himself the time to come to the realization of what just happened. he knows that he still loves you, knows that he’ll always love you. he feels his chest ache and maybe it’s the weight of the situation, but it’s definitely from the realization that he’d never be able to move on from you.

it’s going to be another long, lonely december.

barzy taglist; @extratragic @vinceduhn @teenagekook @smit41 @sidscrosbyy

himbos; @babytkachuks @bricksatlandyswindow @anxietyandtacos @damndunner @dmonchld @kiedhara @sortagaysortahigh

#mathew barzal #mat barzal #mat x reader #new york islanders #islanders #isles #nhl #nhl fic #nhl imagine #mathew barzal imagine #hockey fic #hockey imagine #mathew barzal x reader #mat barzal x reader #barzy

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warmau · 4 years

Text

★ donation request: childhood friends-to-lovers!au jaehyun

it’s on monday when you realize that you lost it - the necklace jaehyun gave you when you were both kids.

you’re pretty sure his mom bought it and then forced him to wrap it (he did a terrible job) and he’d given it to you with the biggest pink blush on his face for your eleventh birthday

but you’d been so starstruck by the pretty silver star hanging off of it - that you’d slipped it over your head and just,,,,,,,never took it off

after a while, it just became something special to you

years of growing up as jaehyun’s best friend and never once did you or him find it awkward

you had some other accessories you held near and dear too, but it was a silent agreement that you’d just,,,,,,,always have this one on too

even when you were kissing other boys and jaehyun was wingman-ing your invitation to prom from neighborhood heartthrob lee taeyong

you remember tinkering with it when you guys were opening college acceptance letters

and twirling the little star charm between your fingers last week, when you and jaehyun met up to study for your finals

“you still have that thing?”

“it’s my good luck charm!”

he’d grinned, saying sure - the only luck you needed was to get back to studying

you’d scrunched up your nose and told him to be quiet, not registering the dirty looks some people were throwing your way

mostly because you understood: you were close to jung jaehyun, every person on campus was jealous

but now - you were sure you had lost it

you had gone out last night with some friends, but you were sure you had it on when you went to bed

you only took it off for the night, leaving it on top of your desk where everything else important was

but now - it was gone

you can’t search your room, as you’ve got classes to run to, but you vow you’ll turn the place upside down when you get back

but you don’t find it. you search for two whole days every second you get and then its wednesday and you still dont know where it is.

its also the day of the week where you meet up with jaehyun

he’s coming back from swim team practice, and when he walks toward you - something in your mind plays a memory from when you were both still in highschool

jaehyun had already been swimming back then, and he’d found you in your front yard after practice

he’d come toward you - dimples gleaming with his smile, hair still a little wet, an old nike gym bag that had the keychain you’d given him as a gift from your family’s trip abroad hanging off the zipper

you’d been doing chores, or something and he had dropped his stuff and started helping you

still in those sweatpants with your highschools name written on the left leg

you blink back the memory as jaehyun reaches you in the present and tilts his head

“are you ok, you look like you’ve seen a ghost?”

you strain a smile, not sure if you want to tell him about the necklace

but, you don’t even have to

his eyes skim the line of your neck and then meet yours again

“did something happen?”

he doesn’t even have to say what he’s referring to you, but you nod enough

“y-yeah i think i lost the necklace you gave me,,,,,,,,or maybe i just need to look through my dorm again. ive been in every corner but -”

you shrug and try to play it off like its not big deal, but jaehyun isn’t fooled

you’ve had that necklace for a long time

“do you want me to help you search?”

“yes”

you two had planned to just hangout, just talk about school and catch up - maybe plan a visit back to your hometowns

but instead you end up back in your dorm, jaehyun turning over pillows and pulling out drawers as you sweep through your room again

hours pass and neither of you find it, you end up sitting beside him on the floor

“it’s fine, i mean ive had it for like a decade or something now-”

you are saying, but jaehyun puts a large hand over yours

and another one of those memories floods back through you

you’re seniors and you’re telling jaehyun, on the floor of your bedroom, that you can’t make a decision about the future

he’s sitting so close and your shoulders are pressed against each other

you’re ranting, about the stress and fears of growing up, and he’s listening quietly

its almost dinner so you know he has to go - but then he takes your hand in his just as the prick of tears sting in your eyes

he squeezes your palm in his and says you shouldnt worry, youll never be alone in the future because hell always be by your side

you remember nodding, turning and facing him and -

wanting to kiss him

the memory snaps to an end like a cloud of smoke disappearing - and you’re back in the moment

jaehyun is saying, “im sure youll find it, don’t worry. ill help you look anywhere.”

and squeezing your palm again - you look at him

you want to kiss him now too

but you don’t

when you wake up at the end of the week

you’ve come to conclusion that you are not going to find the necklace in your dorm, which means that its lost for good

you dress and get ready for class, picking something else to wear around your neck, but ultimately giving up

you open your door and see a small box laid out in front of you, curious, you pick it up and read the label on the front

‘from jaehyun’

slowly, you pull off the top and see a necklace inside - its a star with a pretty diamond in the middle

theres a note and you pluck it out

‘cant let you go on without your lucky charm. just pretend i gave you this when i was 11 instead’

you smile, and slip the necklace on - it doesnt feel weird like the others hand before

that evening you make time to stop by jaehyun’s

his roommates arent home and he opens the door with messy hair and his glasses on

he smiles when he sees the necklace

“is it ok?”

he asks and you are about to say; “yes - it’s perfect, thank you.”

but something wont let the words come out - another memory interrupts them

you’re standing in front of jaehyuns door - the door of his family’s house - the door you’ve been in front of a million times before

and you’re crying, full on sobbing, because you’ve just been broken up with by your first real boyfriend

he’s got that messy hair and those glasses and he just tugs you into his arms

and whispers something about how that guy is a blind, idiotic, loser to hurt you like this

but you remember now that you werent crying because you were upset about being dumped

you were crying because ,,,,,,,,, you never wanted that guy in the first place

when you were being told you just “weren’t what he was looking for” you had wanted to say

“neither are you. what im looking for has always been in front of me”

because you had realized, time and time and time again, that it was jaehyun

and now you’re here and holding your hand over the necklace and jaehyun is standing again in front of you

like he has so many times before

and you are about to do the thing you always do, keep pretending like being his friend is enough

but you can’t anymore

you lean forward, hands bunching up the front of his shirt and pulling him down into a kiss

you think you’re going to feel his hands gently push you away - and you embrace the real heartbreak you’re going to feel after

but instead

his hands circle around your waist, pressing you into him and letting his smile grow wider against your lips

when you pull back his eyes fixate on your own

“i thought you were just going to say thanks, but this is so much better.”

you scrunch up your nose and tell him that’s corny, but he just leans in to kiss you again

it’s on a friday that you and jaehyun realize something important - that this has been destined since you were both kids.

#nct scenarios #nct imagines #nct au #jaehyun scenarios #jaehyun imagines #jaehyun au #member: jaehyun #nct 127 #sfw #donation commissions #nct 127 au #corny..............but i love it

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logan-is-noggin · 3 years

Text

Wisdom Teeth

Summary: bucky takes care of you after getting your wisdom teeth removed.

word count- 1081

y/n woke up in a reclined chair that was covered in plastic, fluorescent lights flickered and she groaned from it stinging her eyes. a woman in matching blue shirt and pants with a paper mask pulled over her nose walked over to where she lay. " how are you feeling y/n? finally waking up, i see." she narrowed her eyes slightly at the nurse. " wath i not awake? i thought i wath." she said stumbling around the words. the nurse smiled. " you were napping for a bit while got our work done." " what wor-" she tried to talk around the gauze filling her mouth. the nurse stepped to the side of her chair. she reached her hand into y/n's mouth and pulled a red wet clump from one cheek, then the other. y/n looked up at her with disgust. " why am i bleeding!" " you had your wisdom teeth removed. your gums will be bleeding for a while, dont worry." you blinked a few times, your body suddenly feeling very heavy, letting yourself fall back against the chair. after placing new gauze in its place, the nurse stepped away leaving y/n with her thoughts. using her tongue, she counted her teeth. " one, two, three..." she mumbled. several times she had to start over because she couldn't figure out where tooth number fifteen started and tooth fourteen ended. while she was busy counting she didn't notice the nurse back with a wheel chair. the nurse pressed a lever that lifted the back of the chair to an upright position. " c'mon, your friends are here to take you home" she helped y/n stand up and sit down in the wheel chair. "-was counting." she complained, but the nurse just pushed the chair forward. the sudden movement made y/n's head spin and she gripped the arms of the chair. ' slow down!' but when the nurse didn't, she realized she musnt have said anything out loud. when y/n was brought into the waiting room of the hospital, bucky was at the front desk talking to the receptionist. she handed him a zip-lock bag filled with something and a few papers. the nurse had helped you out of the chair as bucky greeted you. " how are you feeling, doll?" you tilted your head in confusion" i thought i was a human." y/n proceeded to pinch a piece of skin to check that they were indeed still made of flesh. bucky shook his head. " they drugged you up good, huh?" he wrapped his covered metal hand around your waist and guided you out of the hospital. " you remember what you came here for?" bucky quizzed " of course. i sold them my teef-" y/n mumbled. you reached for your mouth, the gauze was beginning to bother you, but bucky took your hand in his " ah, ah. dont go messing with your mouth, you might mess up the stitches." " bu' mouf hurts' " you complained with a frown. y/n and bucky reached his car, Sam was waiting, his phone in hand. " we'll take care of the pain once we get home." he promised. you nodded. " can i drive?" you slurred reaching for the driver side door. " um no, id like to live please." Sam said as he laughed. you noticed Sam had his phone in his hand and he followed you with it. bucky opened the back seat and made you duck your head so you wouldn't hit it. " get in back with her so she doesn't try anything.." " why cant i drive?" Sam said back. " you didn't have to come with me, but you wanted to film her right?" Sam acquiesced and the three made their way home.

FRIDAY announced their return as they stepped out of the elevator into the compound. bucky still supported y/n as she walked, Sam followed, phone at the ready in case your drug attled brain came up with any more comedic ramblings. tony and Bruce were looking at a white board when Sam came up to them. it was also tonys idea to get y/n on camera after getting surgery, he had done the same when peter got his wisdom teeth removed the previous year.

" you guys have to watch this!" Sam said excitedly as he handed tony his phone, " just hit play.

the recording showed y/n in the backseat, she was writing something with her finger in mid air while she spoke " but the symbol for iron is Fe, and man is the same as male. so technically, iron-man translate to Fe- male. that makes iron-man a woman." then all that was heard was Sam and buckys laughter.

tony paused the phone and tossed it back " jokes on all three of you, peppers made that joke five times since mark II." bucky had taken y/n down one of the hallways that led to her apartment.it was so everyone that lived at the compound had a private space. he opened the door and helped y/n sit on her bed. she kicked her shoes off and pulled them under her. she tried to pull her blanket around her shoulders but it was stuck under her. when bucky came back with a glass of water he helped wrap the blanket around her. " 'kay, the doctor gave me this list to help you recover. " he opened the zip lock bag and pulled a pile of gauze out along with a smaller bag of capsules. " " first i gotta take the gauze out." he had a piece all folded up at the ready. " open up doll.." so she did

" i miss you." bucky gave y/n a confused look as he reached into her cheeks to pull the bloodied gauze out. " what are you talking about, im right here." she shook her head. " no. we shouldn't 'ave broke up." she said, mouth fill of fresh gauze. bucky winced ever so slightly, knowing it wasn't right to talk about that subject with you inebriated. he handed y/n a pill and helped her take small sips till it went down. " we- we can talk about that stuff later, right now you should get some rest." y/n laid down, wrapping herself tighter in the blanket, and was soon asleep, the medicine quickly taking over. bucky watched her for a minute until her breathing evened out. he bent over, pressing a quick kiss to y/n's head before closing the door behind him as he left.

Part two

it was a few hours later since bucky had left y/n passed out in her room. bucky had spent all evening replaying those words in his head. thanks to the serum, he was able to hear when there were movements coming from y/ns room, and bucky went to go check on here, and more importantly, get some answers

bucky and y/n had dated for a while after she joined shield a while back, and bucky wouldn't admit it to anyone else, but when y/n broke things off after a measly four weeks of dating, it hurt.

bucky knocked on the semi open door of y/ns room and waited until she acknowledged him " hey, come in." she sounded much more sober than the last time they spoke. y/n was currently folding up a piece of gauze and tucking it into her gums where the teeth had been recently removed " whaths up?" she tried to speak around the cotton

" just wanted to check on you, see if you needed help." he said casually, " looks like the drugs wore off. you were acting pretty crazy for a while before." he said with a smirk.

" and i know the guys aren't gonna let me live down whatever i did to embarrass myself this time." she agreed. bucky sighed as he took a step inside the room further, " actually, i was hoping we could talk about something" he asked nervously, but y/n didn't seem to notice this and simply pat the spot on the bed, so bucky sat down

" before you passed out, i was changing your gauze, you said that you missed me. like, when we were dating.." y/ns eyebrows knit closer together " i did?" bucky nodded y/n shrugged " i guess i was just feeling sentimental. " she did remember the good moments they had together

" you also said you wanted to get back together. and i wanted to know, do you?" the question pained the both of them, and there was a silence that filled the space before y/n shifted in the bed " theres part of me that wishes we could, but i broke up with you remember?"

bucky nodded " i still think it was a sad excuse-"

" i know it was. but its the truth, my only experiences with guys lead up to me getting hurt. all forms of love ive witnessed only ends up with heartbreak, i was only trying to save you the trouble of getting attached and getting hurt like i did." she admitted.

"for what its worth, the last thing i ever want is to hurt someone,and how do you know if you never give us a real chance?" he asked

" you're right, and maybe once i dont have too many holes in my head, we could try again?" y/n asked softly. bucky leaned forward and kissed her forehead " id like that."

#bucky x reader #buckybarnes #domestic avengers #y/n #sam wilson

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i-prefer-the-term-antihero · 3 years

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Additionally, your thoughts on Dracula and Adrian from the Netflix adaptation of Castlevania? I find Dracula really tragic, and the ending scene of Season 2 crushed me because I was not expecting Adrian to cry. He’s usually so stoic and calm that I didn’t think he would weep, I expected him to just shrug it off like heroes usually do, but no, when given time to process everything, the first thing he does is break down into tears. Sypha was right in calling him a brooding teen in an adult body.

Ohh man. If you just take a look at my writing blog (or anywhere I post my fanfiction) it’ll become pretty clear pretty quickly how I feel about them XD So far all my Castlevania fics have been about the Tepes Family. Adrian and Drac are my favorite characters in the series!! (Though I do love pretty much all the characters in it.)

YES YES YES!!

They did an incredible job making Drac sympathetic and tragic. I don’t know if you know anything about the games, and granted, they couldn’t put a lot of story stuff in the games, but (at least as far as I’m aware) in most of them it’s like “ya, he was an evil dude who did evil things because he was evil.” So it actually would have been pretty accurate to the source to make him just an unsympathetic, irredeemable villain, but they didn’t and I LOVE them for it. Playing Symphony of the Night (Alucards game) after watching the series l was almost longing for that Drac I know and love from the series, (though it’s fun to see evil Drac too).

As I’ve said, I adore redeemable villains, and they did an amazing job with him, to the point where pretty much everyone in the fandom adores him, which is extremely tough to accomplish—even if you write a redeemable villain well, often large parts of the fandom don’t see it and hate the character. I knew that the point was that they were going to defeat Drac but I have to say, especially since I originally knew nothing of the games, I was hoping they’d save him by the end.

I think the fact that he liked and was kind to Hector and Isaac was evidence that he wasn’t too far gone. I mean, the only two people he genuinely trusted and liked in his court were human…that’s so interesting, I wish it was at least talked about, either in the show or in the fandom. I think he actually liked humans, partially or especially because of Lisa, he just...was so angry, and needed someone to blame. He probably ultimately blamed himself for not being there to save her, and it was just easier to blame the humans he once hated/didn’t understand, even if in reality he didn’t hate them as much as he thought he did...

Doing more thinking and research into the show for my “If These Walls Could Talk” fic I recognize now that symbolically it made sense even within the show that he died when Lisa died (which I can explain more about if you want but id probably end up going off on a long tangent so I’ll save it)...but I still thought practically, in the show, he could have still been redeemed.

Omg I LOVED that. The longer I take to sit with it, the more I realize just how much I loved that they put him crying instead of shaking it off.

It’s very interesting that Drac and Alucard are more openly emotional characters. I might be totally wrong, but as far as I remember, they (...and Lisa when she dies, and probably Isaac in a flashback), are the only main characters we see openly cry. It’s a pretty bold move to make any of your characters emotional like that, but especially your villain, and your bold handsome hero. It’s sooo easy to get emotional characters and emotions wrong…or just offputting to some people...but more on that later.

I think Adrian and Drac are both rather sentimental, in an odd way. Much of Drac’s motivations in the show and even in the games (the times his motivations are explained) had to do with his wives (yes he was married before Lisa in the games...unless Lament of Innocence was retconned...) which is interesting. So many of his decisions are based on emotion. He lets Lisa in just because he likes her, he goes to war with the world because of Lisa, he sits in his study mourning her loss, he let’s Alucard kill him… I also notice very often he digs his nails into his palms until they bleed, presumably because if he didn’t he’d hurt someone else (in the scene where he hurts Alucard, he does this). His sentimentality doesn’t diminish is power as a villain, which is SO difficult to accomplish.

I am emotional myself so I absolutely love to see emotional characters, but for most people, seeing even a normal character be emotional diminishes them in their eyes, or makes them whiny, so making your villain even a little emotional, and having that not take away from the audiences perception of their power as a villain is sooooooo hard to do, and I applaud them for making a so well-beloved, and still villainous and intimidating, but also emotional (at times) villain.

For Alucard. I don’t see any problem with him being emotional, but it makes even more sense if he’s a teen in an adult’s body—which was indeed portrayed quite well.

Yes that was interesting when he cried when drawing his parents!! I wasn’t expecting that when I saw him drawing them. I was enjoying and intrigued by his story so much, then when he started crying I was caught off guard—but in a good way. It really made me feel for him, and understand that he was still grieving his mother, and that knew the gravity of what he was currently doing.

I think it’s kind of important to show that kind of thing in a situation like this. It’s easy to think Alucard hates his dad, and they need to show the emotion of the situation to make it clear “no he doesn’t hate his dad, this actually breaks his heart, he just knows he has to do this.”

I loved when he was telling Trevor and Sypha about how much the world would lose by killing Dracula. It’s really interesting that he hides his emotion with them, and that Trevor and Sypha are so stoic. The son of Dracula isn’t the guy you expect to be the only hero who cries.

In “For Love” when Trevor’s like “Don’t get weepy about it” I was sitting there, sobbing, like “No, please get weepy about it! Let the boy cry for goodness sake!! Give me some emotion!!” But I too was not expecting him to cry like he did, and in grieving the death of his parents...

I knew the crying scene was coming because I’d seen pictures of it on here and pinterest, but I had no context for it. In the end it wasn’t just the weeping itself that made the scene so impactful, it was everything surrounding it. I didn’t know it would happen when he was completely alone (and would be for the foreseeable future), and in grieving his parents, or about the ghosts/flashbacks before it (cementing his grief), or that it was literally the last scene of the season, or that there would be no music for both the scene and the credits thereafter.

And that was what really got me.

Because, firstly, we never got to see any flashbacks to his childhood, and that was what I was begging for the entire series (and hence why its what I write about). To finally get it, and it not to just be something the audience gets to see, but something Alucard himself is seeing... a happy memory he’s seeing when he knows that is completely gone, he cannot hope to have it again, and for him to now be in his father’s place…that’s heartbreaking. Like just having your character cry—let alone those kinds of full-on sobs—is painful enough, showing a son grieving his parents is a particularly heart wrenching kind of sadness, but showing that he is haunted by memories of those parents he lost—not only lost but one of which he killed, and, if SOTN is canon for the show, the other of which he could have saved—of a happy childhood, and he is alone with these memories for the foreseeable future...that is truly heart wrenching.

Also the scene with Trevor and Sypha in the wagon earlier in the episode was super sweet, they could have easily put the Adrian crying scene earlier, and had the Trevor and Sypha scene be the last scene of the season (and Trevor’s game actually does end with them looking into the sunset, so ending with the last scene of “For Love” would be accurate as well), and left it on a positive note, and the audience would have been left with a completeness. But they made a conscious choice put his crying scene last, and it was so powerful, because it made you remember that at the end of the day, he isn’t just our bold handsome hero, he was a son who lost both his parents, and that, to him, this isn’t really a triumph, but a loss. It also kinda confirmed that Drac wasn’t an "evil guy, end of story". That there was reason to grieve him, and to show his son grieving, and to leave it there because of it. It was a personal gravity too

In the end, it was the lack of music in the scene, and even more so during the credits, so theres only his tears, and all you are left with in the end is this amplified emptiness that really did me in. I think I literally sat there, tear tracks on my face, my mouth open when I hit the credits.

Playing Symphony of the Night after watching the show is really interesting in exploring his character. I knew there was very little story, so I wasn’t expecting much from the story, but I actually found that I was beyond excited whenever there actually was some story, and the few lines they did say are stuck with me.

Maria comments early on that Alucard’s not very good at talking. At first I just chalked it up to...weird translations or whatever. But the more I played the game and the more I thought about him in the show...I think she’s right. He’s not very good at talking, yet if and when he does talk he’s quite eloquent, and precise with his words. (This actually makes him a somewhat difficult character to write). I wonder if perhaps this has some connection to his emotionalness. He’s very careful with what he says, and this may spread to what he does—such as being careful when he shows emotion. I’m curious why he’s like this. It could just be his nature, but I wonder if as a kid he was ever hated because he was a vampire—maybe people made fun of him, and he cried, and they made more fun of him because of it—and he learned both to hide his emotions, and that he had to be very deliberate and show people he didn’t mean any ill will with his words. (And he looks older than he is so people might call him immature for acting his mental age). All very speculative, of course. But it’d be fun to write about!

Also, another thing from SOTN that is related to this topic, there was a fight that really struck me (enough I actually wrote a fic about it (inverted recurrence)). SOTN takes plays 300 years after the events of The Netflix Series (aka Dracula’s Curse). Most of the bosses don’t seem to have a lot of meaning story-wise, they’re just there for you to fight. The other day I (Alucard) walked into a boss room...and there were Trevor, Sypha, and Grant (who was omitted from the Netflix series). They were fake versions of them, of course. And there’s no dialogue in the fight so maybe I’m just speculating, but what struck me was that the fact that Dracula could use them against him probably means he still cares about them, even after 300 years. It probably also means that they’re some of the only friends he’s ever had. Granted, he was asleep for a good chunk of those 300 years, still. It goes back to that sentimental-ness I was talking about earlier.

I few years ago I watched the Gravity Falls commentaries, and from them I got a lot of the writing advice I still think about and use today. Alex Hirsch said something on this subject which I really liked which is “Hold your tears.” When a character cries they’ve broken, that’s as far as they can go. So if you make a character cry when the audience themselves doesn’t feel the weight of the scene, or it doesn’t feel like the character has broken yet, it can feel like too...much/cheesy, and distance the audience. especially with cartoons where the way it’s drawn can actually affect your sympathy for the character (it can look weird or accentuated).

They did such an awesome job with this by literally holding his tears until the very end. I don’t know how other, non-emotional people felt about it, but Ive don’t know if I’ve ever seen tears used so well in a show, pack such a punch. To have it not just be a part of the scene but literally the focus, and at the end...it was powerful.

Sorry for the long response, and more importantly, I’m beyond sorry for taking so so SOOO long to respond. I hope you enjoy my response, if you see it <3

P.S. For anyone else who made it all the way to the end, I actually have a Castlevania sideblog now: @symphonyofthewrite !! I’d be beyond happy to recieve asks like this over there, if you’d like to hear more of my thoughts!!

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inthestars011 · 4 years

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What it’s like falling in love with him 💓💓🥺 *check venus*

Based mostly on personal experience

Aries Venus- falling in

love with him was like always remembering the feeling of his loose red tee shirt even if you just felt the cotton warmth as it grazed your arm lightly as you walked past in the hallway. He’d stare right through you and make your body go cold, or sometimes he’d lightly smirk and you’d feel the burning of a million suns as they rolled and rolled

into the pit of your stomach without mercy. Loving him was like constant tension, an endless dark corridor. Loving him was like heartbreak that you begged for. He would say he just didn’t want you, and leave, disappearing through the trees and wistful breeze. But he would come back forceful and angry everytime he heard that your arm may be wrapped around another man, he’d ask you where you are and he couldn’t handle the thought of your fingers intertwined into other hands. Loving him made you angry and loving him set you free. You realized that the two of you were just not meant to be.

Taurus Venus- Loving him was like forgetting what it once felt like to be touch starved. Some days he’d let his fingers dance lightly on your leg, other days, he’d kiss your neck as you moaned and begged. Either way you knew you were home, you knew you were safe. There’s nowhere you’d rather lay, than under the sun and in his arms. Both sensations brought warmth and love. You’d laugh as he seemed to make your parents fall in love with him even more than you, he was so scared to lose you. He would cook for you, feed you hot soup when you were sick. sometimes, you’d disagree on things and he’d be kind of a dick. You will miss the golden summers in his eyes, the loyalty in his fingertips. You will miss the sun as it rested in the peaceful sky, the sweet honey in which you’d dip your feet in gently.

Gemini Venus- Falling in love with him was like laughing about the crude joke he made whilst being entranced with his sly smile as he wrapped his mouth around a beer bottle. You wanted him to savour you in his mouth and drink you like he did that Miller lite. He loved to make memories with you, even if memories is all that they are. A faint recall of true love, a remembrance of his smile. Butterfly’s are beautiful but are almost always gone by Sunday morning, he always brought a rude awakening without realizing. You will remember the fresh grass as it tickled your backs and not the sound of your heart as it cracked, you will remember staring at the stars and wanting to bathe in galaxies above, and while you looked up at those stars all he did was stare at you, and you’ll remember how the staring was slightly intrusive but nonetheless mischievous, innocent and cute. He was in awe. You will remember the nervous smiles, the cold bathroom tiles, the time worthwhile. You won’t remember your heart breaking.

Cancer Venus - Falling for him was like finally being cared for. You were an abandoned child left on a door step and he took you in and cradled you tight, he loved you even as you tried to fight, he loved you even when it didn’t feel quite right, he loved you through your darkness, through your stressful nights. As soon as his soft little heart decided you were family, he’d never ever leave your side and you’ll feel his wrath if you dare try. You were sick and broken and he held you, god, he was the only one who held you. He’d be moody and jealous and influence the entire mood of a room, he sometimes made you feel sad and wanting to find somewhere else to hide, crawl back up inside your mamas womb. He always made you comfortable, wrapped you up in a blanket full of love and he would show you there is warmth in not only the sun but also the moon and the stars. With him you didn’t feel unloved, no, love was always all around you and you didn’t have to search very far.

Leo Venus- A love with him was not a love that felt detached, no, you were the centre of his universe and that you were sure. He’d come home and tell you stories, some that made you laugh, some that made you cry. But they captivated you. God, he always captivated you. He was your gleaming star and you were his night, you were just perfect together, the shoe fit just right. He would get jealous, grabbing you and kissing you in front of everyone, you’d say “what the hell?” he’d chuckle and say “I wanted to claim what’s mine”. maybe that was too possessive and annoying or maybe you began to fall in love with it just as you did with his touch that gleamed and burned. people said when they heard you both giggle, the sound resembled two lovers as they intertwined, people would let out an “aww” as you two danced goofily in the living room after a few too many glasses of wine. He gave your heart exotic life under party lights and he let you win everytime at beer pong just because he wanted to please you. It took him a while to really reveal but one day he glanced at you and said “I really need you”.

Virgo Venus- falling for him was like finally being important. He worshipped you in a way that was quiet and soft. He criticized himself he never felt he was enough. He was always on his knees calling you an goddess as you sipped your fresh mint tea. You laughed and you said “I’m nothing of the sorts” he grabbed your face and told you, “ you absolutely are”. He helped you learned to love yourself and taught you so many things you never knew, theres so many things about the world and you really had no clue. He’d fix his hair and never know where to put his hands and you’d laugh and put them on your body and softly say “if you’re not sure where to put your hands; this is where I think they’ll stay”. He‘d shake with a nervous tremble and giggled with excitement. He picked the lint of your sweater and ran his fingers through your hair, he had an angelic type beauty, skin pure and fair. He would get grumpy when he was tired and sometimes it felt like he didn’t care, but he always gave his heart to you, he was always willing to share.

Libra Venus- He loved with a heart that was open and naive, a heart recklessly worn upon his sweater sleeve. He was so kind and soft he was almost unreal to you, he had hair like golden waves and a smile soft and true, he was delicious like candy, a body that was like a meal to you. And he was always read to be devoured as long as he could devour you too. There was red wine, roses on the bed, and fancy dates just for you two, the romance completely swept you away and never failed to enthral you. He was the prince and you were the princess and you giggled because you never knew that in a couple years would be living out a cheesy Taylor swift song in real life but here you were. Kissing the boy of your dreams, drinking champagne, and making love on the satin sheets. “Here we are baby, it’s just you and me.” He softly whispered in your ear, there’s no other words you’d rather hear.

Scorpio Venus- He loved you because you had a deepness about you, you had a sad soul and it struck him the right way. He never fucked with chit chat, no, he had a soul that yearned for more. He was destructively emotional, a mind that was at constant war. He wanted to change but only when he was with you, he could finally see good parts of himself, that he’d never seen before as you kissed along his scars and broken heart. He hated how much he loved you. some days he’d disappear and you wouldn’t hear from him, other days he couldn’t keep his hands off of you as he caressed along your body and wiped away your tears. He’d punch the wall and you hugged your knees, you’d scream as he crawled on the floor and cried, feeling weak. He taught you that love is something to fear. Love isn’t always clear. True love isn’t always comfortable and you felt that as his presence grew near.

Sagittarius Venus- He had eyes, full of lust honesty and fire. Two broken souls looking to move on, Bonnie and Clyde, forever on the run. Who said romance couldn’t be fun? He’d grab your bum and kiss you quick, soon the flame would burn out of the candle wick. He left you crawling for more, ugly, needy on the bathroom floor. You still recall the 3 am calls when you two felt like riding into the night and seeing where the stars take you, you touched the sky with your fingers tip, and then touched eachother and found meaning in the universe. Love can be true even when it is fleeting, a quick and passionate love can be just as defeating. Before you know it, he’s on a train, and you’re wondering why he ever went away. He’ll explain that his gods told him to go where he feels free and he can rest his head because down there he is authentic and true, and that he loves you so, but that place isn’t with you.

Capricorn Venus- He wants the poster image girl, someone sensitive and sweet to balance out his cold exterior. You were the only one who could make him feel truly warm. Before he knew it, he was in love. Perhaps it happened with a little playful nudge or a giggle in the wind. You were perfect for him, a match made in heaven, he was the wish you had been waiting for, your 11:11. He’d be quiet about it but as soon as he felt comfortable he told you about his dreams of picket white fences, lawn parties and kids learning how to play baseball in the yard. He told you he saw your face, Ivory and soft, blurry and faint in every one of those dreams. He worked till his hands hurt and you’d massage them at home, he had a serious look, stern to the bone. You’d kiss him and add the perfect softness to his life, it wasn’t long till he asked you “will you be my wife?”

Aquarius Venus- He wouldn’t dare say the word love, and he covered his ears as soon as the thought struck your mind and the word touched your tongue. Because you were only his best friend, a best friend that wore his stylish blue sweaters and he said you made them look better. You were just a best friend he couldn’t stop thinking about, a best friend that had a mouth he loved to taste, a best friend that he’s seen in only her lace. And you’d say “that doesn’t seem like a best friend to me” but all he’d do is laugh and disagree. Hed say “who’s to say what’s love and what’s lust, what is and what isn’t meant to be.” It hurt you because sometimes he was cold and almost alien like, but he was electric to the touch, he was neon lights and an addicting drug, so this so called “best friend” wasn’t someone you would give up.

Pisces Venus- once you are in love you saw him turn automatically soft, suddenly his hands melted into icecream and you couldn’t help but be addicted to how it was so sweet. He would tell you reminders of his love everyday, it was way of begging you to stay. He would tell you how sometimes you remind him of the flowers in may, or this really heart wrenching song he heard the other day. You would feel special and loved, like you two were angels or specks of stardust continuously falling. His love for you pours out like a waterfall and all you want to do is lay underneath and choke on it and let it drown you in the most hauntingly beautiful way. He is your saviour, your soft reminder of sunny days. He is what you never knew you needed when you always felt defeated, he was a wonderful sparkling surprise, he was more of a god than simply a guy.

#venus #venus signs #astrology #astro #love astrology #venus pisces #venus aquarius #venus capricorn #sagittarius venus #venus scorpio #venus libra #virgo venus #leo venus #gemini venus #cancer venus #taurus venus #aries venus

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