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#I wish I was better at words bc this feels like I put my thought in a blender and poured in on a tumblr post
hazardouslesbian · 10 months
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another interesting piece to the dichotomy between Clark and Lex is they both have their issues with letting people get close to them due to their own respective traumas, but it manifests in different, almost opposite ways, which imo ends up being their downfall
Lex obviously has this air of “I’m a Luthor, I’m secretive, I won’t let anyone close to me” that he’s developed from a combination of lionel’s fucked up parenting, and a life of keeping secrets to protect the people he cares about, but actually looking at his actions the idea that he’s secretive and closed off or whatever starts to feel like a facade. In practice (especially with Clark) Lex is so desperate for connection that he lets his walls down almost every chance he gets. Like if I recall correctly in the show he really doesn’t shy away from talking about his childhood trauma whenever Clark asks. Plus Lex is pretty honest throughout the show, especially to Clark. There’s several moments from the start where other characters THINK Lex is lying, but in the beginning it’s almost always Lex being scapegoated.
And I think the idea that he’s a closed off person that’s hard to reach isn’t just something he tries to present to the world, I think it’s also a lie lex tells himself to convince himself he has any sense of power over who he chooses to let in, because in a community where he IS constantly the scapegoat choosing to let people in and connect to them opens him up too way too much opportunity for disappointment and heart break, so he has to convince himself he’s able to stay disconnected and keep people at arm’s length, but in reality I really don’t think he’s that capable of keeping people out? Like if someone genuinely wants to connect with him I don’t think he has the power to stop himself from letting that happen at LEAST in the early seasons of the show
Clark on the other hand feels like the kind of guy who should be an open book, and in a lot of ways he is! he’s earnest and kind and can make friends with just about anybody, including the widely distrusted Lex Luthor, but he’s got a secret that he’s been told his whole life he has to guard at all costs for the sake of his survival. And his fears of ending up on a lab table tortured and experimented on are reasonable so you can’t really fault him for being dishonest with everyone. But Clark clearly doesn’t want to be this secretive aloof guy, he’s lonely and displaced, the sole survivor of a world he never knew. He’s similarly desperate to be this trustworthy, friendly guy, with deep relationships with the people in his life. So he tries to compromise and instead lets people in just enough for it to feel devastating when they put together that he’s undeniably lying to them.
It nearly ruins every one of Clark’s relationships at some point in the show, but ultimately his other relationships survive it, his relationship with Lex can’t
the real reason they’re “doomed by the narrative” is Lex is so desperate to connect with Clark, and Clark is incapable of ever fully letting that happen, even though he wanted to!! and in the same way Lex tries to be okay with their “incomplete” relationship because he wants to be understanding and doesn’t want to ruin his relationship with Clark but in the end he can’t do it either!!
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akitsuneswife · 2 years
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vent in the tags
tw for mentions of eating disorders / suicide
#not my aunt demanding an apology after she found out i said that i felt like shit bc she constantly hurt me verbally when i was 14#she almost pushed me to have a ed. i actually used to wish and pray i would get one just so i'd be skinny just like she wanted me to be#i developed a lack of self esteem. depression. insomnia for an entire year. all i thought of was suicide.#yeah i made some shitty things that hurt my family once but it doesn't mean i dont care about them#but apparently i dont have the right to feel sad about things that haunt me to this day bc i dont have it as rough#worst thing of all is i will HAVE to apologize or she will cut me off but she will never acknowlodge that she hurt me#bc she did so much for me (which ok she did) but in her mind that absolves of all the shitty things she said to me#i dont even know if i want to be around her even if i apologize. what i did remember is why i dont share anything with my family#the reason i put walls in between them and the things i want to keep private. the way i can't trust them.#bc every fucking time i try to open up im fucking backstabbed and then im the one to blame#im the one to blame when im taken out of the closet without my consent. im the one to blame for being depressed.#im the one to blame when something bad happens to them and i dont show emotion the way they want.#and now im thinking about suicide again. every time it seems things will get better im dragged down.#im not going to do it. but i cant help but wish she could eat her words and carry them with her her whole life.#knowing she could've let all of this pass.
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k4vehrtz · 5 months
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⸻ YOU'RE A CRISIS OF MY FAITH
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. ✦ . starring — dom!top! t. fushiguro / m! reader
warnings — porn with some plot, sacrilege, a copious amount of religious themes, priest! reader, virgin reader ergo loss of virginity, allusion to homophobia / internalised homophobia, unprotected sex, blowjob (r receiving), deepthroating, fingering, riding, creampie, toji lowkey has a corruption kink, use of the nickname 'angel', toji refers to the reader as father once but that is entirely in a religious sense . ✦ . wc — 2.1k . ✦ . notes — we'll all pretend that didn't just happen!! anyway!! i'm so so normal about toji...and !! i don't know what exactly falls under dark content but seeing as this contains sacrilege you've been warned nevertheless. not proof read bc t**blr stressed me out
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“what does —” he stops himself mid-sentence to motion upwards, “the big man upstairs think about homosexuality?”
you swallow hard, your adam’s apple bobbing. you hadn’t expected the question, naturally. especially from the likes of toji fushiguro of all people. but you answer anyway. “well,” you murmur, averting your gaze so that you’d stare out the window as the first signs of winter begin to settle in for its extended stay instead of being forced to meet toji’s pointed gaze. “we all are subject to desires that may or may not reflect god’s light, but these desires aren’t sinful unless you act or encourage others to act on them.”
he nods almost absentmindedly in response before following up with: “…even you, i imagine, as a man of god, could fall victim to such desires?”
and you pause for a beat, your jaw tightening as an image escapes the dark recesses of your mind; the neat box you’ve forced what you deemed unpleasant thoughts into.
the man in your mind didn’t look quite like anyone you knew at first. he was just a man without a name or a face — similarly to the world before god’s divine intervention, he too was without form. but then, by chance, you met toji fushiguro and his teenage son. then the man who’d haunt your thoughts began to change.
he was older, weathered by life experiences and parenting, and taller, maybe 6’2, with messy black hair that fell over his brows. his hair reminded you of the cloudless, starless night sky. then there was that scar on the corner of his right lip. you’d imagined yourself on more than one occasion leaning toward him, pressing your lips against it before he’d open his mouth and let you explore the wet cavern.
though you shake your head as if that would dismiss your thoughts, fingers curling defensively around the window’s ledge. “everyone encounters temptation in their day-to-day, but, like god’s son, we must resist.” you counter eventually. “you’re not one for idle chatter.”
“i’m not,” he agrees, his voice smooth, something akin to the feeling of silk against your skin. it gives you goosebumps and makes the hairs stand up. he puts his hands up in mock surrender, his gaze intent. you can feel him burning holes into the back of your head. “you know, i think i’m long overdue for a confession.”
“as you wish.”
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“our heavenly father has declared the following in the book of james, chapter five, verse sixteen: ‘therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. the prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective’. now, in the name of the father, and of the son, and of the holy spirit, amen.”
silence — and then toji sucks in a breath, his voice thick with an emotion you can’t quite grasp but has you shifting in your seat on the other side of the confessional booth anyway. you’re, on some level, disgusted by your behaviour. it’s unprofessional at best, or perhaps the beginning of your unravelling at worst. you fear it’s the latter.
“bless me, father, for i have sinned,” the words slide off his tongue with ease, “it has been two months since my last confession.” and your eyes flutter closed, or maybe you forced them closed because you feel no better than a pervert by the way you ache at every sound that comes out of his mouth.
either way, you don’t notice the way the door creaks as toji lets himself out of his side of the confessional booth and opens the door to yours until he’s kneeling in front of you, the pads of his fingers digging into your sides. the skin of his fingers is rough, worn out from the different tasks he takes on to keep himself and megumi afloat, you think. he’s become something of a handyman around town.
“to be honest, father,” he says, now directly addressing you. “i came here fer’ your guidance…you see, i’ve been havin’ thoughts lately that i don’t think align with what god wants.” and you find yourself at a loss, your eyes still closed, though your adam’s apple bobs again as you swallow your suppressed thoughts. “my guidance?” you repeat quietly, “confess your…thoughts…then, and seek forgiveness. it’s not a sin unless you act on those thoughts.”
he lets out a pleased hum at that, leaning forward so that his face is practically buried in your clothed crotch. “so,” he counters, “if my understanding is correct, would it be a sin if i told you to spread your legs f’me?”
you don’t trust yourself to speak right now — not when your thoughts are all muddled. so, you simply nod and toji clicks his tongue. “but sin or not, you’re going to anyway because you and i both know how we feel about each other, right? c’mon, use your big boy words and tell me.”
the smart thing—no, the right thing to do here would be to say no. adamantly deny the lingering touches and glances that the two of you had come to share. affection between two men could only go so far. but then again, you’ve gone so much farther in the safety of your bedroom long after the sun has set. how much longer could you shamelessly show your face to the other members of the church and listen to them confess their deepest secrets to you? you’re parading as a righteous man when you’re anything but.
if it turns out to be as bad of a sin as they say, god will strike you down.
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turns out it’s not as bad of a sin as they say — or maybe it is and you’ve yet to receive divine punishment.
“god works in mysterious ways,” you say under your breath but toji hears it anyway. how could he not when you’re in such proximity to each other? you hadn’t meant to say it out loud but it doesn’t matter. and toji (ever the charmer) takes it upon himself to respond, “maybe he brought us together for a reason…or maybe i’m one of lucifer’s lackeys sent to seduce you.”
you make the conscious decision to ignore that which seems to entertain toji even more. he’s ridiculous in ways you can’t fathom. like…the way he’s got your legs spread, back pressed firmly against the wood of the confessional, your thighs trembling as he clicks his tongue, “spread yer’ legs a little wider f’me angel, s’not enough f’me to suck that pretty cock.”
he… he knows what he’s doing. whereas you were clumsy and inexperienced. but, to be fair, you had taken a vow of celibacy when you were twelve.
now, though, you’re experiencing true pleasure for the first time — and with a man, no less. you tilt your head back in what little space the confessional affords you as toji gives your balls tentative touches, maybe light squeezes, as he aligns the head of your leaking cock with his mouth. you’re embarrassed, warmth flooding your cheeks, but you can’t look away. not when this is all you’ve ever wanted.
there’s pre-cum on his lips; your pre-cum. it’s there, as clear as day, and he’s entirely unbothered. all of his attention is on your cock. your cock that’s throbbing as he sucks on it. pre-cum and saliva mixing. it’s all so new to you.
as for him…well isn’t this cute? you’re trying your hardest to stifle those needy moans of yours, he can tell. but no matter how much you bite down on your lower lip or how you press your hands against your mouth those pretty sounds you make always find a way of escaping. part of him, somewhere deep down, feels guilty for corrupting you like this. but perhaps he doesn’t feel guilty enough.
he continues to work on your cock, sucking on it whilst simultaneously fondling with your balls. you’re quivering, rutting your hips forward now and then. occasionally you go too far and it scares you at first — you didn’t mean to push your cock all the way to the back of his throat! ever the unbothered, though, he welcomes it until you’re spurting your load down his throat. and he swallows, utterly content.
then he coos at you, bringing a thumb up to your face, and tracing the outline of your jaw. “don’t worry about me, angel, you’re not going to hurt me. what you’re going to do f’me is let me reposition us so i can see your pretty boy hole, m’kay? my boy can do that f’me, right?”
my boy. the idea of being his. after so long…it only feels right. so, you allow him to readjust your position so that you’re straddling his lap and somewhere in the process you both disregard your clothes.
“you’ve been thinking about my cock? that’s why yer’ hole is winking f’me? all ready to take my cock like a big boy?” he asks and you nod your head eagerly. every word that comes out of his mouth is dirty but your reactions are the icing on the cake. you’re not the quiet, unassuming priest he met by chance all those months back. and to think that he’s the reason why.
well, he doesn’t linger on the thought. you’re impatient, squirming on his thighs in search of friction. but he’d be lying if he said it didn’t get him going and he may be many things but he would not force himself into you without properly preparing you to take him.
so as much as you whine about it, he ultimately takes his time with you. the nearest lubricant happened to be some sort of oil, but he made sure that it was safe to use before coating his fingers in a generous amount. then he oh so carefully drags his finger across your hole. it makes you shudder, but after a few minutes of this, you find yourself unprepared for the stretch of fitting a singular digit in. it hurts and the moment you so much as whimper toji’s pressing his lips against yours. the same lips that were around your cock only moments ago. his lips are gentle, soothing, even.
and he keeps it like that — his lips against yours as he slowly introduces more fingers into your ass. it takes a while but your pained whimpers soon morph into more desperate, filthy little noises as he drags his fingers in and out of your hole before curling them, tips grazing your prostate.
you want it, you decide. his cock, that is. you want his cock in your ass beyond a reasonable doubt. it’s all you need. bouncing on his fingers feels good but you just know that his cock would feel so much better.
“this is a sin, we’re both sinning,” you announce, your words strong but your delivery coming in between laboured gasps as his fingers continue to graze your prostate. “so i expect you to fuck me like you mean it.”
and he doesn’t need to be told twice. with a scoff — one that sounds more amused than annoyed — he pulls his fingers out of you. shaking his head as you whimper at the loss. but it’s soon replaced by something bigger and much thicker. it’s his cock, covered in the same oil, and you almost can’t believe it when he’s aligning it with your entrance, pushing past the tight ring of muscle.
you have to take a few breaks before you fully sink on him with a low groan. he makes you feel so full and he hasn’t even moved yet. and when you take it upon yourself to ride him you revert to the softheaded boy he makes you out to be.
your movements are clumsy — mediocre, you’re sure of it. but toji doesn’t intervene. he simply leans back, big, warm hands on your hips, while you figure out your rhythm. and after a few failed attempts you find one that works for both of you. it feels good, it feels great even. his hard cock filling you to the brim while you all but mindlessly bounce on his cock, your walls clenching around his throbbing length.
you’re going to cum soon, you’re sure of it. and when you do eventually watch through teary eyes as your cock spurts ropes of cum onto his stomach you’re not surprised whatsoever. toji, however, takes a lot longer to cum. you’ve probably cum at least two more times by the time toji takes control, his grip on your hips tightening as he angles you just the right way to hit your prostate with each thrust of his hips upwards. your toes curl, eyes half-lidded, and you just barely acknowledge the warmth of his semen in your ass.
all you can think of, and just barely manage to stutter out is: “you’ve fucked me,” and he stares up at you with a smug smile, chest heaving as he copes with his orgasm that has been a long time coming, “yeah, i’ve fucked yer’ pretty boy hole.”
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kentopedia · 8 months
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hi rylie!! thank you sm for the recs! and since you said your inbox is open …
could i maybe request a fic where nanami proposes to you? like a spur of the moment thing where it’s not really the “right time” but he just springs out the question bc he wants you forever 🥹😮‍💨
thank you a bajillion! <3
my everything
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FEATURING: nanami kento x f!reader — wc: 3.1k
SUMMARY: after nanami remembers how short life can be, he realizes he wants to spend the rest of his with you.
CONTENTS: takes place during jjk 0, slight angst per usual, marriage proposals, sorcerer!reader, nanami's pov, happy ending
note: thank you for this sweet request!! i kind of took it and ran w it, but this was so much fun to write :) i hope you enjoy lovely!! <;33
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Kento couldn’t remember the last time he’d been so afraid.
The gnawing feeling of dread was as heavy as the ring in his pocket, the one that he now regretted hanging onto for so long. Shinjuku streets were drenched in the blood of so many curses, humans, and sorcerers and it sickened him, reminded him that life could be cut short at any moment. There was a reason that he’d quit Jujutsu so many years ago, and he started to wonder if he’d made the right decision in coming back.
Kento sorted through the bodies, scanned the mangled corpses for any sign of your familiar face. He never spotted you, but he wasn’t certain if it was a relief that you were nowhere to be found.
Satoru stood at the edge of the street, his forehead lined with sweat, the pale bandages falling away from his icy eyes. Briefly, he dropped the façade that always lingered, and it was obvious how tired he was. How much everything had beaten him down in the last decade and refused to let up.
In that moment, Kento felt sorry for him. Then, Satoru resumed his usual air of arrogance, straightened his back, and the natural balance fell between them once more.
In just a few strides, Kento was upon him, his hair unruly, shirt wrinkled as the tie remained still crumpled around his hand. His muscles ached and he longed for a shower—though any of those trivial thoughts were outweighed by his incessant need to find you.
“Where is she?” The words hung in the air before Kento realized they’d left his lips at all.
Satoru hesitated, almost unwilling to hand over his confession so easily. “I sent her back to the school.”
Kento clenched his fists, but Satoru was defending himself before any irrational actions could be taken.
“She insisted, Nanami.”
Still, he couldn’t help but wish that Satoru had ignored your pleas, even if Kento was unsurprised that you’d volunteered to stand by the students’ side. You weren’t the type of person to let a few first and second years go up against a special grade on their own, no matter how strong they were.
Satoru was squeezing Kento’s shoulder before he had even noticed the movement. Something in his expression had darkened, and though Kento normally would’ve shoved him off, put some distance between the two of them, he wasn’t sure he could remember a time when Satoru Gojo looked so somber. “I wouldn’t have sent them there if I wasn’t certain they’d be alright. I’m not as cruel as you might think.”
Kento knew that he had never behaved warmly towards his ex-classmate, but his opinion of the man was not as low as Satoru believed. For better or worse, Satoru loved his students, and though he pushed them, Kento knew he would never put them into an undefeatable danger.
He sighed, dropping his chin to his chest as Satoru’s hand fell away from his shoulder. “Just take me to her, Gojo.”
Satoru nodded, his lips curling down into a frown before he was teleporting them both back to the high school. There, the sight was even more dismal than Kento had expected. Many of the buildings had been destroyed and there were clear residuals from many sorcerers and curses. It was chaos, a grim sight to behold, and they weren’t even past the gate.
The anxiety twisted up in his chest, and inwardly, he prayed, hopeful that you were as fine as Satoru believed. That Geto, in every inch of his darkened heart, would hesitate when it came to killing an old friend.
“Hey,” Satoru said, tying up the blindfold once more, tightening it across his snowy hair. “She’s fine. This, I’m certain of.”
Kento’s lips were too dry to even offer a thank you, even though Satoru probably deserved it, for all the sacrifices he made, all the time. Instead, he nodded, and turned away from the tall man, haunted by a memory of him once as young as the students that had been left behind to protect humanity.
The leaves and gravel crunched under Kento’s feet as he ran up to the school, taking in the sheer destruction that had befallen the place he’d once called home. It made him ache with a longing for a simpler time, even though he could never go back, and the boy he’d been was long gone.
It was a brisk night—the kind of night that you normally would’ve spent bundled up inside, a bowl of hot soup between you, a movie running while you rested your head against Kento’s shoulder, dozing off before the credits rolled.
That’s how his night should’ve gone. Instead, he was searching every crushed piece of building, every pile of rubble in case your body had been caught between it.
Kento knew that the life of a sorcerer was a miserable one, that it was easy to lose the people you cared about, but he wasn’t certain he’d be able to go on for much longer if he lost you.
The ring was even heavier in his pocket, weighing him down, making it near impossible to move. If you hadn’t survived, Kento would never forgive himself for waiting so long to propose.
He called your name, ripping off his glasses in any attempt to see you better, wondering where you could’ve disappeared to, hoping that you hadn’t died alone.
The grounds, it seemed, had been hollowed out completely, and for the first time, Kento wondered if Gojo was wrong about his old friend.
Panic clawed up his chest, scratching at his throat, sending him into an illogical spiral before a small, shaky voice from behind him brought him back to reality, a light that parted through the black night, so sweet and heavenly to his ears.
“Kento?”
He turned, blinked as you swayed on your feet, making your way slowly down the steps of the main building. You walked awkwardly on your ankle, though you pushed on, heading towards him despite the pain.
For a moment, he watched, and then he was upon you without even acknowledging his movements, two long strides that brought him back to his salvation.
Kento pulled you into his arms, burying his face in your hair, breathing in the undeniable truth that you were still alive, even as you winced from his stronghold, your arms limp at your sides.
“Fuck,” Kento said, kissing you on the top of the head, your hairline, forehead. His eyes were glossy with tears that had been held back by his remaining shreds of hope. “You scared me there for a second, sweetheart.”
Your hands were on his chest, tracing his bicep before you curled your fingers around his jaw, bringing his gaze to your own. The touch was light, searching for any wounds that hid under his stained button-up. “I’m okay,” you said, softly, even though your face was bruised, your ankle twisted, and you were bleeding from more places than one. “Are you?”
Kento nearly laughed, wondering how you could even think to ask that question when he was untouched compared to you. Though, the amusement died immediately when you looked at him with so much concern that he melted, and he squeezed your hand in reassurance. “I’m okay.”
You nodded, expression serious as you attempted to ingrain the words into your mind, convince yourself that everything would be alright, even though things hadn’t been that way in nearly a decade. You kept your hands on him, as if waiting for some wounds to appear, for him to start bleeding into your palm, even though his injuries went no further than some sore muscles.
“And everyone else?”
Kento pulled you into his chest, running a hand up and down your back, wishing that he could heal you as easily as Shoko could, that a gentle touch could fix everything that had ever soiled your life. “Everyone’s fine,” he said, and as far as he knew, that was true. “A little beat up, but they’re alive.”
You exhaled, nodding into his chest as you rested your weight on him.
Kento would gladly bear it, would carry you all the way home if need be.
Briefly, you were silent, before you squeezed your eyes shut painfully and grimaced. “I got the students to Shoko, but they were all so hurt, so badly,” you swallowed, digging your fingers into his shirt, and Kento suddenly hated that Satoru hadn’t sent him with you, even if he was needed in the city. “Geto—”
You stopped yourself, and said nothing more, heartbroken by a boy you had too many fond memories of to ever see in a malicious light. It was difficult for everyone who’d ever known him back then, even if he hadn’t been that way in a decade.
Kento swallowed and you pushed away your tears, buried whatever conversation had transpired earlier between you and the dark-haired sorcerer.
Though, you’d resolved to be everything that Geto was not. That, at least, had been one positive outcome of his betrayal. “It’s not your fault, love.”
“I should’ve been more prepared to kill him, Kento. I’m not as strong as him, but I should’ve been able to hold him off until Gojo—” You choked back a cry before standing straight, shaking your head. “I tried too hard to reason with him. I left it to a student, and—”
“Hey,” Kento held your cheeks tight in his palms, forcing you to gain a better perspective of the situation. You looked up at him with soft, lost eyes, and Kento was filled with a swell of adoration for you, for the strength that came with the vastness of your heart.
Despite all you’d suffered, you’d managed a smile, been the light in Kento’s life, even when he’d wanted to do nothing but wallow in his own misery. If not for you, he wasn’t sure he ever would’ve come back to being a sorcerer at all. If not for you, Kento would’ve been lost, without an ounce of meaning in his life.
You were so foolish for thinking you hadn’t done enough, when you’d done more for him than he could put into words. Kento’s love for you was enormous, and in that moment, he would’ve let the rest of the world collapse in on itself if it meant you’d be safe and happy.
“Any of us would’ve done the same. Do you really believe that Gojo would’ve so easily killed Geto without speaking to him first? Would I have?”
The look didn’t dissipate from your irises, but you didn’t disagree with him, and that was enough. Kento kissed you, deeply, putting every ounce of affection into that single touch. Everyone had made it out of the night alive, and you’d been there for the students when it mattered the most. That was more than he could say, at least.
“I don’t want to lose anyone else, Kento,” you said, blinking at him once more with those sad eyes, ones that he never wanted to see on your normally bright expression. “I can’t keep pretending it doesn’t tear me apart.”
“You won’t lose me,” he promised, even though he knew that there was no way he could keep it, an oath that was almost destined to be broken. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“You and I both know that you can’t be sure of that,” you said, backing out of his embrace to wrap a protective arm around yourself. The smile that graced your lips was sad, defeated. “Our world is not merciful enough.”
Kento knew that better than anyone, and he’d been reminded of it that evening. Reminded of the loss that befell those who wanted to fight for a better world, and even those who didn’t. Death didn’t give any warning, didn’t choose based off anything more than a random draw. “Then I’ll promise to love you until the day I die. That, at least, is a vow I won’t ever break.”
The ring in his pocket was practically vibrating now, reminding him how little the non-necessities of life mattered to him. All this time, he been waiting for the perfect moment, to plan everything down to the very last detail.
It seemed meaningless now.
You squeezed his hand, your face brightening despite your sorrow, lips tugging up sideways. “I can promise the same.” Kento’s heart swelled, and you kissed his cheek before dragging him a few steps forward so the two of you were walking in time together. “We should go check on the students. I want Shoko to check my ankle too. I’ve suffered worse, but it’s starting to swell pretty badly.”
Kento nodded, though his mind was too busy whirling with fears of a wedding that might never happen, that you might never know he was going to propose if he didn’t do it soon. You could be snatched away from him at any moment, or perhaps, he could leave this world with the ring still in his pocket, and you’d only know once you found it on his corpse.
Kento wouldn’t forgive himself, even in death, if he didn’t do what he’d been wanting to do for months.
With one arm around your shoulder, he reached the other into his pocket, twirling the box. He wasn’t even sure why he carried it with him that night when he could’ve so easily lost it in the middle of battle.
Yet, there it was, lingering, the constant weight in his pocket that rested against his hip. He swallowed, and you looked up at him, your lips falling back once more into a frown.
“Hey,” you said, slowing your pace, concern evident in your expression. “Is something wrong? Did something happen in Shinjuku, Kento? I didn’t mean to just brush off—”
Kento shook his head, shushing you quickly. It didn’t take him long to make up his mind, and he wrapped the tiny box up in his hand. “Nothing’s wrong, sweetheart.” He kissed the top of your head again before holding the box out, presenting it to you calmly, without any spike in his normal tone. “I just was thinking about how I was going to ask you to marry me.”
You stopped completely, your pupils blown wide as you took the box from him with shaky hands, blinking back down at it before meeting his tender brown eyes. “Kento?” you said again, calmly, as if waiting for him to explain.
A beat of silence passed between you. Kento, suddenly, felt nervous around you for the first time in a long while.
“Truthfully, I was going to prepare a long-winded speech and buy you some flowers and take you out for dinner. But,” he cleared his throat, regaining his composure as he flipped the lid of the velvety box, revealing the sparkling ring he’d spend hours searching for. “I love you too much to waste any more time. Somehow, until tonight, I’d forgotten how short life can be. I just want to spend every moment I can as your husband.”
Your eyes became glossy as you stared down at the beautiful gem, lifting the ring out of the box to slide onto your finger. As expected, it fit you perfectly, shimmering in the pale light, the perfect complement to your skin. Kento gently took your hand, kissing the knuckle right below the jewelry.
“I’ll propose again to you properly,” he said, laughing quietly, though if it was because of your silence or the joy lodged within him, he couldn’t be certain. “Without all the blood and the—"
“Kento.” Your lips were on his before he could finish his sentence, harsh and passionate despite your injuries. Fingers curled around his chin, holding him into place, making him forget all the horrors that had occurred that evening. “Don’t be silly. I don’t need a grandiose display to know I want to be with you forever. I love you too much.”
Kento’s chest warmed, that bundle of affection within him bursting, making its way through every ounce of his being. There, you seemed to glow brighter, every day making you more beautiful than before, and he wondered how it could be possible that he could feel so much for one person.
He relaxed, unknowingly tense, and kissed you again on the forehead, his arms around your shoulder once more. “I should’ve done it sooner.”
You smiled and caressed the harsh bones of his cheeks, shaking your head. “It wouldn’t have changed anything.” You laughed, pulling him down by the tie, pressing a kiss between his brows to ease the wrinkle there. “Besides, now you’ve turned this awful night into something special. I don’t have to remember this day with a bitter taste in my mouth.”
Kento returned your smile, but it was still weak, even with all of the adoration he felt for you.
Though, when you beamed at the ring, your eyes soft, all of the previous despair gone, he knew that everything would be alright. Perhaps his timing had been less than ideal, but he would do it over and over again if only to ease away the misery from your face.
“So, then you will marry me?” he said again, wanting to hear the words from your lips, even though there was no doubt in his mind.
You rolled your eyes playfully, noticing his teasing smile and indulged him. “Yes, Kento.” You kissed his cheek, letting out a sharp exhale. “I’ll marry you. I would’ve always said yes, even back when we were silly, lovesick teenagers.” You sighed theatrically, adjusting his tie. “Who knows why. You had such a ridiculous haircut back then.”
Kento’s cheeks grew warm, splitting with the force of his smile, one that only seemed to appear with you at his side. Despite all of the horrible things that had happened in all of your lives, he was grateful that there were good moments too.
“Well, I still managed to win over the prettiest girl in the world, didn’t I?” he said, ghosting the words as he laced his fingers with your own, squeezing tight. “Now I get to call her my fiancée.”
You mumbled something less than kind under your breath, but Kento could feel the warmth on your cheeks, the flush the began from your neck.
He laughed, continuing his path back to the infirmary, where the students were likely waiting for you to return safe and sound. “Come on, I’m taking you to see Shoko. I wouldn’t want my future wife’s injuries to get any worse, would I?”
And though the both of you knew your injuries were minimal, your eyes brightened as the skin around them wrinkled, and Kento knew that whatever happened after this, he would live and die a happy man.
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violetrainbow412-blog · 5 months
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hii, I wish to request a Willy Wonka x reader 😭🙏 where reader doesn’t like chocolate at all because it’s too cloying, so Wonka tries to make the right candy (or chocolate) to give it to the reader at Christmas Eve (he wanted to gave reader a small gift before Christmas day, like a form of confessing his feelings to the reader). And reader also prepares a small gift to Wonka bc they also want to confess their feelings to him
Reader can be gender neutral, or however you want
English isn’t my first language so sorry any grammar mistakes, also sorry if I didn’t explain myself well
have a good day and thanks for reading 😭🫶💐
The Bittersweet Gift of Love [W. W]
Willy Wonka x gn!reader
word count: 1.8k
note: don't worry! English is not my first language either. I have to admit that writing with neutral readers is always a challenge for me because I translate my texts directly, but I think this time it's a decent thing. I hope you like it!!
taglist: @dyieying @reallysparklychaos [Timothée masterlist]
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What could a chocolatier give to a person who didn't like chocolate? That was the question Willy had been asking himself for the past few weeks.
You hadn't specifically said that you didn't like chocolate, rather it was a matter of not liking the excessively sweet or sticky taste that some had. That is, most of the chocolates he made.
“Maybe it's just that you haven't found the right flavor,” he had told you once, while the two of you were talking.
And he was quite convinced of that, even thinking that if he managed to make something special for you maybe he would earn some affection from you. It would be as if he gave you a certain part of himself, so that you could make it yours.
So it was that Wonka, after reflecting a lot, decided to try all kinds of combinations until he found one good enough to satisfy you. Christmas was approaching and he believed that the occasion would be perfect not only to give you the present, but also to take an important step for which he had not yet had the courage: he wanted to confess his feelings for you.
The man didn't know much about love, however, he knew that he liked you a lot and he wanted you to know it. It was just that he was pretty nervous about it and he hoped everything would turn out as perfect as possible, after all, you deserved it.
Christmas Eve came when he was least expecting it and then it was time to dress in shades of green and red to attend the party that the Smith family would throw, as a thank-you to everyone after Dorothy had heard what the entire group did for help Noodle when she needed it most.
Willy put a lot of effort into buying, with some of the few coins he had left, a cute outfit appropriate to the occasion that he combined with his characteristic coat. When he was in front of the library door he felt the little purple box in his hands extremely heavy and he thought it would be a better idea to put it in his pocket, or else you would realize ahead of time the surprise he had for you.
“Mr. Wonka,” Dorothy greeted, as she opened the door “Come in, come in. It's freezing outside”
“Good night, Mrs. Smith,” he murmured cordially, removing his hat and placing it on a rack in the entryway. Apparently he was the last to arrive, since everyone else was already talking happily in the room.
Of course his eyes went directly to you, who was wearing a green sweater that highlighted your beautiful skin tone and you already had a huge smile on your pink lips from the cold.
“It's good to see you, Mr. Wonka,” said Abacus, being the first to speak “Sit over here.”
He smiled internally at the good fortune that the place the man had left him was right next to you and when you gave him a look, he felt himself blush.
“Hi,” he murmured shyly.
"Hello! I'm so glad you could come."
“I would never miss it,” he responded smilingly. His knees collided with yours and suddenly your warmth seemed to invade him as well, perhaps because of the closeness, but also because of the overflowing love he felt for you “How are you?”
With this question you began a pleasant and private conversation, which developed between close whispers and giggles that made him increasingly nervous. The others didn't mind too much that you didn't participate in the general talks, as they knew that certain unresolved matters probably needed time.
You ate the delicious dinner that the family had prepared, you drank punch, you sang some Christmas carols and when the night had advanced enough you returned to your previous place, although now with fewer people around.
“This is so nice, I love Christmas. The atmosphere is always so homely and warm” you said, with your eyes resting on the simple tree that adorned the room.
It was almost midnight and the others were in the kitchen sorting through some of the cookies that Noodle had put there an hour ago, which only left you and the chocolatier in the living room.
“I guess I believe you, your eyes are literally shining now,” he said happily. He felt like sliding his hand into yours and this time, steeling himself, he didn't hold back. You flinched slightly when you felt that.
“What are you doing?”
“I have something for you,” he breathed, feeling strangely excited by what he was about to do “It's a gift.”
“Oh, Willy,” you responded, a bit incredulously, as you bent down to grab something from your bag on the floor. “I have something for you, too.”
He chuckled when he saw the box lined with bright red and a purple bow decorating it, since it was a pleasant coincidence that you had also prepared something for him.
“But don't tell anyone, because he didn't bring gifts for the others,” you added, quietly, and then he helped you up, still holding onto your hand.
"Come with me"
He led you to an empty room and he closed the door behind you, hoping he only needed enough minutes to not raise suspicions among the rest of the guests. You were nervously holding the gift, with both hands now that he had let go of you.
“Okay, listen. I wanted to do something special for you today,” he began to explain, as he pulled the box out of his pocket. “And I also added, uh… a note. You don't have to read it now or anything, but it says something in it that I want you to know."
“You're starting to scare me,” you stammered, obviously nervous. Willy was going to ask what you meant until he saw you take a small envelope out of your pocket, which you placed on the red paper. “Because I have the same thing for you.”
He stumbled a little at the second coincidence of the night and he wondered what your note could be about. He knew that he had written a little poem confessing how he felt about you, but... what if you were just wishing him a Merry Christmas? He was going to look like a complete fool.
“You can read mine in a more… private place if you feel comfortable. Maybe alone,” he suggested, though he knew it was more for his comfort than yours.
“Huh, how about we just open the gifts and leave the notes for later? I wouldn't want you to read mine now either” you murmured, just as shy as him.
Willy agreed and you extended your gift in his direction, hinting that he would be the first to open. He undid the bow, carefully, and then opened the box, revealing a beautiful scarf.
“Wow, I…”
"Do you like it? I made it myself”
“I don't believe you,” he said immediately, looking even more surprised. “It's beautiful, I really love it. Thank you so much"
He wasted no time and placed the garment around his neck. Curiously, it matched the rest of his outfit.
"It looks pretty"
“Mine is also a gift made by me. Feel free to tell me if you don’t like it, I… I’ll understand, okay?” you looked a little confused at that and then he took out the piece of chocolate, carefully placed inside the box “I know you don't like chocolate, but I don't think anyone should live without consuming such a great delicacy. So I made you this, because it doesn't have those things that you don't like. It's... different, but I hope you like it”
With some shyness he offered you the sweet and you put it in your mouth, under his watchful eye during the process. You tasted what he had offered you: it was a little bitter, but not in that way that makes your head hurt or leaves a bad taste on your palate, but with just the right touch. It was firm and didn't melt in your mouth, but decent enough to chew on. And finally, it had a touch of something indecipherable to you, but that gave it a certain exotic flavor that was pleasant to your senses.
He, without knowing everything you were experiencing, kept looking at you because he wanted to analyze your reaction to know what you really thought, and luckily your reaction showed agreement with what your chocolate lips said:
“It is the best chocolate I have ever tasted”
Willy felt that like the greatest compliment in the world and he couldn't help a smile crossing his face, satisfied with himself for having achieved his goal, but above all for seeing the happy expression on your face.
“You will never have to eat chocolates you don't like again, I have a jar full of these just for you. They will even bear your name."
It was inevitable not to take a step towards him to hug him and the boy, although at first he seemed surprised, soon responded to you.
“No one had ever done anything like this for me. I appreciate it a lot"
“Well, it's my Christmas gift. I wanted it to be something special,” he confessed, feeling his heart beating in time with yours “Merry Christmas, Y/N”
“Merry Christmas, Willy,” you said. The note in his hand felt extremely heavy and he was eager to read it, but he knew he would have to wait a while.
Suddenly you heard Noodle calling your names and you got out of there before anyone else noticed your absence, which worked because the girl was walking around the hallway when you were closing the door.
“It's going to be midnight, come here,” she said and you obeyed.
Dorothy revealed that she had a small present for each person and you began to look under the tree, eager to find out what would be in those little boxes. It wasn't something very ostentatious, but you were grateful anyway.
So, when no one was looking, you ran to the bathroom to finally read whatever he had written to you, hoping it wasn't as embarrassing as the confession you had made. You were stunned to learn the content and for a moment you feared you were dreaming, but you weren't.
When you left you knew well what your intentions were and your heart stopped for a moment when you noticed that Willy was nowhere to be seen, until Lottie told you that she had seen him heading to the kitchen. You rushed over and when you opened the door you noticed that he was about to do the same, with a bright expression on his face.
A second later he had already pulled you inside and without saying another word, he kissed you.
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naeviskz · 2 months
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genre. idol!hyunjin x model!f!reader | established relationship
words. 1.5k+ tags/warnings. angst, fluff (towards the end), smut, accusations of cheating, hj is lowkey toxic (but we love it hehe), cunnilingus, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, some mentions of crying, not proofread
this has been in my drafts for years and i finally finished it bc i was tired of seeing it LMAO. btw the position i’m referring to is this (nsfw link), i usually hate vids but this was rlly good imo.
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“i think we should take a break...” you admit, voice growing shakier as you spoke. this was never something you wish to say in a million years, you wanted this relationship to work more than anything. but you were at your wits end with everything, talking to hyunjin was like conversing with the wall, never truly grasping any of your concerns.
you noticed the cracks beginning to seep in the midst of six months of being with him. he would often be dishonest of his whereabouts, saying he was out late due to “work” but was actually out drinking at some bar with chan or something. it made no sense for him to lie about such trivial things but he does it without even thinking. this was supposed to be a lovely vacation in paris together but lately you’ve grown tired of feeling like you’re unappreciated. a break from each other might be the best solution in getting his act together once and for all.
hyunjin felt his whole body turn limp as you uttered those words. not only was he blindsided by your decision, but you never indicated before to him that you were ready to propose such a drastic idea. “but why though? don’t you think this is a bit random? i mean this came out of nowhere ___, i thought everything was good between us, why are you suddenly saying this now?” his thick, bushy brows furrowed in confusion, he wasn’t letting you off this easy and you know it.
“i just think it’s for the better right now hyune, we’re both so busy. we have a lot on our plate, especially you… and this relationship is just— it’s only putting more strain on everythi-”
“are you serious ___? do you hear yourself? i knew what i was getting myself into the day i asked you to be my girlfriend. i’m well aware that i can’t be with you 24/7, and neither can you—however, i don’t expect that anyway. all i ever wanted was to have you by my side, i want to work through the hardships with you but if you’re so willing to give up like this then… i don’t know. i don’t even know what to say to this honestly..” hyunjin couldn’t help but cut you off, once his emotions take over, all sense of logic and reasoning is thrown out the window.
he was never one to question his worth in the eyes of his partner, but you were his longest relationship, he saw you as his first and only true love. it never occurred to him that he could lose you, the possibility of this break lasting long enough to make your love fade away was a scary revelation. there had to be a way he could fix this, he couldn’t bear to be without you.
“are you seeing someone else? maybe that’s why you’ve been so distant towards me lately…” he wanted to scream for saying that out loud but at least he got it off his chest. he knows how petty it sounds but he didn’t care, he wanted you to give him answers.
“no! i’m not seeing other people, i don’t have an interest in anyone but you hyunjin. i want to do this for the sake of us, we’re clearly not where we need to be and this break could help with getting us back on track and spending time apart could be beneficial.” you try your best to articulate your words properly but he remained unconvinced, he wasn’t on board with any bit of this.
how could you even be okay with something like this? spending time away from you drove him absolutely insane, he couldn’t fathom taking a break—not from someone as important as you in his life. he just needed to remind you that the love was still there, though it may be but a dull flame, he could ignite the spark again, with the little bit of hope he had left.
the foundation of your relationship was built from shared interests, since you both are part of professions that rely heavily on looks, you refused to see each other based solely off those superficial aspects. instead you got to know each other’s minds, your core values and beliefs, what mattered to you the most. you cherished every one of those deep conversations you shared together, it was a beautiful experience, an indescribable memory that shaped your bond forever.
so why is it now that you feel this way? was he really that oblivious to everything? he should’ve done more to prevent this but now he fears it’s too late. he’s faced with the conundrum of losing you and there wasn’t much time for him to stall or ask for a chance of redemption, he couldn’t waste another second.
“fuck that,” hyunjin angrily spat, his face contorting into a look of pure disgust. “you’re not going anywhere.” he reaches out to grab your waist before you could walk away, aggressively pulling you into his chest.
no matter how much you attempt to escape his hold, he’s not letting you go in the slightest. he’s much stronger than you, could easily lift you up without breaking a sweat. there was no use in fighting, you had no choice but to give in and let this conversation go. once his lips crashed into yours, everything faded to black. as if a simple kiss was the cure-all of mending this decrepit relationship.
hyunjin’s forehead pressed against yours as he pulled away, “shhh, lye down baby,” he hushes your quiet mewls, instructing you to do as he says. “gonna make you feel so good,” his hands slid under your skirt, gently rubbing over your clothed slit “you’ll forget everything.”
* :.・゚゚・ ✿
“oh my- fuckk, hyunjin!” you cry out, almost on the verge of tears just from how skilled he is, rutting your hips upwards into his mouth as he devours you whole.
the pace of his tongue is relentless, roughly lapping up all your juices like he’s the most starved man alive. you’ve lost count at the amount of times he’s already made you come undone just from his mouth alone. your body’s buzzing with titillation, all you can do is scream and clench your pussy around nothing while he fiercely sucks on your clit.
you couldn’t stop twitching, feeling yet another orgasm approaching. your legs anchored over his shoulders, unable to think or speak coherent sentences as his face was fully buried into your dewy cunt. he relaxes his jaw a bit more, going all the way from the bottom inching further up as he comes back in contact with your puffy clit. at any given moment it feels as if your heart’s about to stop.
“hyunjin-” your heads thrown back into the pillow, digging your nails into his shoulder blades from how overly sensitive you are. “n-need to cum.. can feel it. m’so close.” it surprises you when you’re able to even express such words.
a low grunt can be heard underneath, hyunjin loves hearing you— it’s arguably the best part about going down on you. the hand that wasn’t occupied went straight to gripping a fistful of his ebony hair, continuously moaning his name so loud that you genuinely feel bad for whomever the unlucky people that got to hear this.
just when you thought it couldn’t get anymore intense, he slips 2 of his slender fingers inside, making you gasp from the overwhelming sensation. flashes of white invade your vision, violently shaking as your lips form an “o” in the throes of ecstasy. hyunjin knows your body so well that this is nothing for him, he’s got it all down to a simple science. no one knows your body like he does, and especially no one can make you cum as hard as he can.
“go ahead, make a mess for me baby,” he strongly encourages, picking up his pace as his digits fuck into you faster. “just gonna clean it up with my tongue all over again.”
your eyes roll back to the depths of oblivion, feeling an out of body experience when reaching your climax. a slew of curses leave your shaky breath, limbs trembling and faint tears stain your flushed cheeks. hyunjin slows his movements, rubbing his thumb over your clit gently to make you even more sensitive. you love the way he calls you “good girl” and how proud the look on his face becomes while you ride out your orgasm on his fingers. he doesn’t stop showering you with compliments, only ramping up his affection as he plants fleeting kisses to your thighs, hips, and tummy.
once he’s finally come back up for air you grab his face to pull him into your lips again. moaning in his mouth while getting a taste of yourself was probably the hottest thing hyunjin’s ever witnessed.
“can’t believe you’re all mine.” hyunjin whispers against you, gently massaging your aching thighs. “i love you so much baby.”
“love you too hyune.” you instantly say back, feeling more at ease now that things are somewhat back to normal.
maybe a break isn’t necessary after all, how else would you be able to have such earth shattering orgasms?
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- 完 ♡︎
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lemonlover1110 · 2 months
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Hello! I hope you are doing well 😌 you are my fav writer and I just wanted to to throw out this crazy brainrot request to u bc I am SICK over it
So Florence nightingale syndrome right? Toji is like a professional boxer or whatever something athletic bc he's a fucking beast and he gets hurt, like his leg or something, and you become his at home occupational therapist. So you're like taking care of him and he's getting feelings for you while also being a stubborn ass bc u push him constantly so he can get better. and he's super hesitant to accept his feelings bc he's a Playboy of course.
I'm just picturing this one scene where you're helping him up and he's leaning on you and he says something like "are you sure you can handle me princess?" Idk I'm insane I'm sorry 😭😭😭😭
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Pairing: boxer!Toji Fushiguro x f!caregiver!Reader
Warnings: Fluff, frustrated Toji, Florence nightingale syndrome, Toji has an injured leg and is a little bitch for a bit
*This was so fun to work on and now I'm having thinking a little too hard about boxer toji (I'm ovulating) sofjsof enjoy!
Discord 18+ - Twitter - Ko-Fi
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Toji never really thought he’d be dependent on someone, yet now he can’t even take a shower standing up. After an unlucky boxing match, Toji ended up in a cast and crutches. That’s what he gets for not listening to his son who told him it was around time to retire.
“I’m not a fucking skeleton, I’m good in my field. I can do this for a couple more years.” How he wishes he could swallow his fucking words. He thought that after getting the cast off he’d go back to normal, and he’d have no issue with mobility. He shouldn’t have an issue moving his fucking leg again, he’s been moving it for more than thirty years, why should three months of not moving it change much?
Apparently he can’t do anything, which is why he has someone with him all day every day, helping him so he can get better. Toji’s main issue? He gets frustrated when someone tries to help him. 
“Be careful, it’s hot.” You smile at him as you put his dinner in front of him. He has a scowl on his face as you set it down in front of him. He tried to help make dinner but he couldn’t stand for too long. He’s mad, but not at you. He could never be mad at you. 
Toji wasn’t necessarily fond of you when you started working with him; he hates being dependent on someone else, and he knew that he would have to depend on you for pretty much everything. You try to help him though, and he should be more appreciative of you because of it, but in reality he feels like a fucking baby. He’s grown to like you though… A little too much for his liking. 
You leave him to eat, going to wash the dishes since he can’t do the task yet. Perhaps his own bowl and spoon, but not everything that needs to be cleaned. You watch him from the counter, watching his refusal to pick up the spoon and eat the soup you made him. Earlier he was so prideful, telling you that he would help you every step of the way during dinner, and he couldn’t even finish one third of it. You were proud of him regardless.
“It’s really good, Toji! The potatoes you helped peel really added a touch to it.” You’ve gotten close enough to be on a first name basis. You see each other every day, you stay in the same house, of course you’re close enough to talk to each other so casually. It doesn’t mean you should though. You’ve always managed to keep a very professional relationship with patients, but there’s just something about him that makes it hard for you to be normal around him.
“Don’t talk to me like I’m a fucking kid.” He says, pushing the bowl of soup away. He’s not hungry anymore. Toji stands up, his hands holding on to the table to support himself before grabbing his crutches. 
“Toji, if you’re not eating it, can you try to bring it over to me, please?” You ask. You know the soup has cooled down, if he spills it, he’ll be fine.
“If you want it, pick it up yourself.” Toji is clearly mad. You don’t take it to heart though, because you know it’s with himself and not you. 
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“How about we go to the park tomorrow? It’s supposed to be a nice day out.” You talk to Toji who tries to watch a documentary. He’s not all that interested in what he put on, caring more about what you have to say. He might not show it, and he tries to deny it, but he has the biggest soft spot for you. “We can also get some ice cream, if you’re in the mood!”
“Hey… I’m sorry about earlier. I was just—” It’s hard to get an apology out of him, but sometimes he knows he’s in the wrong and he feels the need to apologize. He doesn’t want you to be mad at him, even though you’re clearly not upset with him. You’re so understanding and patient with him, he feels like he doesn’t deserve that.
“You’re fine, Toji.” You reassure him with a smile, your hand going over his balled up fist. You feel your heart skip a beat as you touch him. You’ve crossed the line past a professional relationship, and you should set some boundaries within yourself– But his other hand goes on top of your own before he brings it up, softly kissing your knuckles. It’s hard to set boundaries when he feels the same way.
“I’m tired.” He tells you, and you stand up to help him get up. Toji usually denies your help, but this time, he has no problem accepting it. You just want the best for him, and there’s some things that he can’t do completely alone. He has to take baby steps. He’s using you for support, and he’s scared that he’s too heavy for you. He asks you, “Are you sure, princess? Can you handle me? I know I’m pretty big.”
“You’re fine. I can handle you.” You reassure him, and you begin to walk to his bedroom. His room was previously on the second floor, but ever since his injury, he’s moved his bedroom to the first floor. You get him to his bedroom, helping him on the bed. You smile at him before saying, “Let me grab your crutches. You left them in the living room, right?”
Before you can walk away, he grabs your sleeve. Toji’s slowly realizing that he can’t fight off the feelings that consume him when you help him, and he’s usually not a fan of them. Toji’s been tied down once before, he certainly doesn’t want that again. But with you, it’s different. He doesn’t mind the idea.
“Will you lay down with me?” He asks, and you suck in your bottom lip between your teeth. You shouldn’t. He caresses your cheek with the back of his hand before he prompts himself up to kiss the corner of your mouth.
“Toji, you know this isn’t something I can do.” You tell him as he looks lovingly into your eyes. “I’m here to help you get better.”
“You can help me get better by laying down next to me.” Toji responds. You grab the hand that so lovingly touches your cheek and kiss it, before bringing your lips down to meet his momentarily. He swears he hears fireworks when your lips meet, even after you pull away.
He’s most definitely in love with you.
“I’ll go get your crutches. Good night, Toji.”
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jashne-bahaaraa · 2 years
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aaaaaaaaa
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asliceofzosan · 6 months
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because i woke up today still thinking of zosan's baby girl, here are some stuff about it that are now my roman empire:
none. i repeat NONE OF THESE STRAW HATS know how to hold a baby. sanji figured it out due to dormant maternal instincts alone. and more than half the time he has to yell at everyone to not hold her up by the calf or the ankles ("i'm looking at you luffy please for the love of the all blue do NOT gum gum whip her around like a toy—")
unlike both her dads, ayari is actually being extremely picky with food in the beginning. she hates certain textures and cries like its the end of the world when her baby food isn't heated to the right temperature. funnily enough, one of the few times she ate something she didn't want is if chopper is next to her eating the same thing and telling her its yummy. dw none of the baby food goes to waste. they're all re-used somehow in the week's menu. or zoro just ends up eating it.
ussop made a lil wrap around cloth for ayari so that sanji could cook while carrying her hands free. or zoro could have her strapped onto his back and nap while he does pushups.
robin could be seen reading books to ayari when both zoro and sanji are out cold and exhausted from being first time parents. one or both of them would wake up to find robin telling little ayari histories of the islands they visit, or the countries they've saved. she tones down some of the darker elements until she's old enough to grasp it. ayari grows up with auntie robin's love of wanting to know the world.
nami started doing her makeup with ayari on her lap. she shows all the different little products to her, letting her touch her brushes and everything. nami even "does ayari's makeup" too aka she just tickles her face with the brushes and pretends to put makeup on her so she feels like she's doing it too. when she's a little older, ayari asks sanji to join them and more often than not, sanji is making lunch with a full face of makeup done by ayari.
ayari's teething toy is a little plastic mouth sword. zoro is infinitely happy about it.
in the beginning, sanji tried to take up most of the parental responsibilities up until the point that he got too sick to even stand. he was stressed and exhausted beyond belief, actually pushing zoro away a lot. but when he collapses one day sporting a fever that was highly too reminiscent of when nami was sick after little garden, it scares him enough to finally seek zoro out for help.
and its not like zoro has not Tried to take the load off. its just that sanji was still fighting all his repressed feelings for zoro and this undue pressure hes put on himself to become a better parent than judge ever was to him. that he could raise this child with love and attention and devotion, completely forgetting that hes not the only parent.
zoro and sanji have a heartfelt talk about how the wish that was granted on that island was a blessing beyond belief. that theres a reason ayari looks like both of them. that she takes after both of them.
they both wished for this child in the deepest depths of their hearts. they wanted not just to be together but to have someone that grows up loved by them. cared for by them. not a restart or a replacement for a lost loved one like they first thought it was. but a child who sees them — zoro and sanji — and will one day wish to have a love like theirs.
oh also "luffy" is ayari's first word because zoro and sanji say it so often to stop their captain from doing dangerous shit while he's holding her. in line with that, her second word is "stop" so the first sentence she ever says is "luffy stop!"
the crew are hysterical over it. sanji stares into the void bc he wished for ayari's first word to be "dada"
he settles with the little joy of her fourth word being "marimo"
because her third word was "curly" (something he nearly strangled zoro for)
402 notes · View notes
luvrhischier · 10 months
Text
losing game // trevor zegras
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part 2
pairing: trevor zegras × reader
word count: 3.1k (might have gone a little overboard)
a/n: based on the song arcade by duncan laurence. lyrics are in bold italics (jumped around a lot and changed some lyrics to fit the story). no use of y/n.
a/n two: this is my offering to hockey tumblr pls let me in (f1 offering coming soon maybe idk).
warnings: mentions of sex but no actual smut (bc i suck at writing it), alcohol, angst with no happy ending
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You watched as he collected his clothes and put them back on. Turning to you when he reached your bedroom door.
“Bye, babe. See you later.” He winked and left.
Silence ringing inside my head.
You sat up, one hand clutching a blanket to cover your bare body, the other running through your now messy hair trying to tame it. It didn't help. After ten minutes of complete silence and staring off into space you finally dropped the blanket and stood up. You walked over and stared at yourself through your full length mirror, examining your body and all of its features in the lightly lit room. You began to wonder why he didn't feel the same. Of course he wasn't obligated to, but still it made you feel like there was something wrong with you.
A broken heart is all that's left. I lost a couple of pieces.
You both had agreed to this. Friends with benefits in private, best friends in public. Nothing more, nothing less. However, now you felt a small piece of your heart get chipped away every time you hooked up.
Jamie had warned you both that this wasn't a good idea and that it would probably end in disaster, after he accidentally walked in on the two of you, but neither you listened. Both swearing that the two of you would never be anything more than friends, who occasionally hooked up. Now you wished you had listened.
The way Trevor now made you feel was unlike anything you had ever felt. Before he grew to understand your body, even better than you did, and what made it fall apart in those moments of tangled limbs, lips moving in sync, heavy breathing, and extreme pleasure, the two of you were just each other’s best friend. Through the good, the bad, and the ugly. You never wanted anything more until a few months in and you hated yourself for it. You couldn’t help it though Trevor's fun and loving nature carried over into those moments of close intimacy. It made your stomach to erupt with butterflies.
You finally silenced your thoughts and rummaged through your dresser for new clothes. You then picked up the clothes you formerly wore, the pieces scattered across your bedroom floor, tossing them into your laundry basket. You sighed deeply and returned to lay in your bed. You quickly stood up again as small tears began to build in your eyes. You didn't want to lay in the bed you just sex on. In fact, you didn't even want to be in your room. His scent was everywhere. His cologne was all over your bed and the smell began to spread around you like wildfire. You knew it wasn't going away anytime soon, it never did.
You collected yourself and headed to your bedroom door when you saw a crumpled up shirt hiding in a corner of your room. You picked it up and instantly realized it was Trevor's. It was the shirt he was wearing underneath his hoodie and he must have forgotten about it. You tried to stop yourself from taking off your old tattered tee and putting his shirt on instead but you failed. You stood there in shameful silence before finally heading to your living room.
You noticed a glass slightly filled with water sat next to the sink, Trevor must have stopped to get himself a drink before he left. You just wanted to take a nap so you left it there as you went to lay on your couch.
You opened Netflix, just playing a random show you knew you weren't really going to watch, you just wanted to end the silence that flowed through your apartment and sleep.
────
You opened your eyes slowly, trying not to be blinded the bright light coming from the t.v. You didn't want to sit up, you just wanted to lay there until you sank into the cushions. You finally checked the time, 8:56 pm, you had slept there for over six hours. You felt your heart stop when your phone began to ring and the screen showed Trevor's name and a picture of the two of you from years ago. You didn't want to pick up but your fingers didn't listen to your heart or your brain.
“Hey babe.” God you hated that nickname so much, it made your heart both shatter and melt.
“Hey Trev,” you groggily mumbled as you stood up heading back to your room. You looked over at your bed and flashbacks from earlier played in your head. Trevor laying on top of you, his lips on your neck, and his hands roaming your body. You shook your head trying to wipe away the memory.
“So, Jamie and I spontaneously decided to throw an end of season party since everyone's here and I wanted to call to see if you'd come,” he sounded happy, excited, and a little hopeful.
“Yeah, that sounds like fun,” you tried to sound as happy as him but you failed and you knew Trevor noticed, he always did. You used to love that he knew you so well, but now it just hurt because he couldn’t, or wouldn’t, notice your true feelings for him.
“What’s wrong?” He asked.
“Nothing I'm totally fine. I just woke up from a nap and I um...” You paused, trying to think of an excuse. “I just need to take a shower and get ready. Bye, see you soon,” you heard him start to say something else but it was too late, you had ended the call. As soon as you hung up Trevor called again. You let out a frustrated groan before hitting decline. You quickly put your phone on do not disturb before he could try to call again and tossed it on your bed, you then went to your closet. You just stood there and looked at your clothes, too lazy to actually look for an outfit. You sighed and decided to take a shower before picking out an outfit.
You stepped in the shower and just stood there for awhile, letting the water run down your body hoping that it would wash away any remaining trace of him.
The hot water felt nice against your cold body but it only reminded you of the warmth you felt when you were with Trevor and you hated it.
Once you were finished you returned to your closet to finally pick an outfit. You didn't feel like getting too dressed up so you opted for something simple, a pair of leggings and a random top. Your breath hitched when you saw what top you had randomly grabbed. It was one of Trevor's team USA jerseys. You didn't even know you had this, he had been looking for it for ages.
Once again you tried to stop yourself from putting it on but you once again failed. You stood there in another shameful silence. You looked at your phone to check the time, 10:05 pm. You sighed before grabbing a random pair of shoes and your keys.
The drive to Trevor and Jamie's house was a quiet one, no music, just the sound of your car tires on the road, passing cars, and your quiet breathing. When you got closer to his house you could see a long line of cars parked along the street and what seemed like never ending groups of people walking through the door. A tiny voice inside your head begged you to turn around immediately and drive back home but it was too late. You had driven all the way here.
You were hit with the smell of booze as soon as you got out of the car. A small part of you wanted to throw up but the rest of you wanted to drink until you blacked out and forgot about him.
The music was loud and people were everywhere making it hard to walk through the crowd full of drunk kids with sweaty bodies. However, the kitchen was less crowded. Vodka was the first thing you saw so that's what you filled your cup with.
You heard a loud and dramatic gasp followed by a familiar laugh and turned to see Jack rushing towards you with open arms.
“I missed you so much!” He beamed and hugged you tightly. You could tell he was a bit drunk by how his words were starting to slur together.
“I missed you more, Jack,” you laughed. “Jack, sweetie you’re suffocating me,” you jokingly muttered out.
“Oops, my bad,” he laughed as he pulled away. He noticed the cup in your hand and grabbed it before taking a quick sip. Before you could jokingly get on to him Luke walked in. You knew he must have been his turn to be on ‘watch drunk Jack duty' by the look on his face.
“There you are! I swear I'm going to a harness and leash so you can’t wander off and I don't have to run around while having a heart attack trying to find you,” he said, slightly out of breath from running around the house and through the sea of people, trying to find Jack. Jack just smiled and shrugged his shoulders causing Luke to roll his eyes. He looked over at you and smiled. “What's up, I missed you!” He exclaimed towards you before pulling you into a quick hug.
“I missed you too,” you smiled back. Before he could reply you both turned to where Jack was once standing only to find that he had wondered off again. Luke rolled his eyes and let out an exasperated sigh.
“I have to go find him again before he does something stupid,” he said begrudgingly. “I'll come back once I find him. I wanna hear about how annoying Zegras has been this season,” he joked while he ran off to find Jack once more.
The mention of his name made your heart feel like it was being ripped out of your chest and squeezed right in front of you. Wanting to distract yourself you looked around and skimmed over the crowd. You didn't want to admit that you were looking for him, but you were. You were about to take a drink of the vodka in your hands when you finally found him. You cursed every single higher being for the sight in front of you. There he was in the corner talking, dancing, and obviously flirting with some blonde girl. Their hands were all over the other’s body and they were close, too close, it made your body go numb. You felt completely defeated.
We were always a losing game.
Now your heart felt like it completely stopped working. You watched as she leaned in to whisper something in his ear with a giggle. The smirk that broke out on his face could've been seen from a mile away. Your cup slipped out of your hand and you felt it splash everywhere. You looked down and let out a shaky sigh. Quickly you grabbed the roll of paper towels and fell to your knees to clean up the mess, but it became harder and harder as your eyes started to blur with tears. You heard mumbling through the ringing in your ears but you didn't look up. You just sat there on the floor furiously cleaning up the spilled alcohol.
You finally looked up when the person shouted your name and placed a hand on your shoulder, snapping you out of your trance. There stood Nico and Quinn. When they saw the tears running down your face both of their eyes filled with worry.
“What's wrong?” Nico questioned as he crouched down next to you.
“I spilled my fucking drink and I have to clean it up.”You continued scrubbing the floor.
“You've cleaned it all up,” he said softly. “You can stop now.” He gently grabbed your hand to stop you.
You looked at the floor and saw that he was right. The alcohol was gone but now it was being replaced with your tears spattering on the floor. You fully sat down on the floor and Nico followed.
“Okay, everyone out of the kitchen now!” Quinn shouted to the few people still standing around you, whispering to each other as they obviously gossiped about your breakdown. You watched as everyone listened and quickly walked away.
Quinn joined the two of you on the ground.
“Why are you crying?” Quinn asked as he scooted over to sit right next to you. You didn't want to say it was because of Trevor. You knew that no matter how much the two of them playfully argued and fought Trevor was like a third younger brother and, though he'd jokingly never admit it, he loved him. He didn't deserve to be burdened with your problems. But deep down he knew and you knew that he knew because of the look on his face.
He wrapped his arm around your shoulder and you let out, in your opinion, a pathetically loud sob as you buried your head into his chest. Quinn didn't even care about the tears and makeup that were most definitely staining his shirt, he just cared about being there for you.
“He's over there with some girl.” you stuttered as you began to hyperventilate. “And I know I shouldn't be acting like this because we're supposed to be just friends but it hurts so fucking bad. God, this is so embarrassing. I'm so fucking stupid. I hate myself!” You lifted your head
“I need you to take some deep breaths. You need to breathe.” Nico softly said. “Breathe.” He took a deep breath of his own so you could follow along.
“Alright, who told me everyone to leave the kitchen?” Jamie interrupted as he entered the kitchen. You looked over and saw that Jack and Luke had walked in too. ‘Fuck!’ You cursed in your head. It was hard enough crying in front of Quinn and Nico, now all of your closest friends were standing there watching you sob on the floor. You watched as they all quickly sobered up.
One by one they all sat on the floor with you. All of them extremely worried. You wanted to somewhat keep your composure so you didn’t freak them out, but you couldn’t hold it in anymore you just let it all out. You knew your makeup was probably a mess and your jersey, his jersey, was covered in tears and running mascara.
“He's over there, with some girl, and they're all over each other and I'm over here crying. God I'm such an idiot!” You hiccuped. You wiped your eyes with the sleeves of his jersey. All of them instantly knew who you were talking about. “You were right Jamie. I should have listened to you. It’s okay you can say ‘I told you so’…" 
“I would never do that,” he said gently.
You watched as Quinn stood up, Jack and Luke quickly followed.
“Be right back.” Quinn mumbled, trying to hide the anger in his voice. You saw the three of them clench their jaws and ball their fists. Before you could protest they were gone. Now it was just you, Jamie, and Nico. They both scooted in closer and engulfed you in a hug.
“I guess giving us up didn't take a lot to him, huh?” You forced a chuckle trying to lighten the mood and joke but neither of them laughed or even looked slightly amused. You sighed. “Deep down I saw the end before it even began, but I still carried on.” You lowered your head.
You heard someone softly say your name and you instantly knew who it was. Trevor. He had that the slight roughness in his voice, the roughness he got after a one too many drinks and you hated that it was still sending shivers down your spine.
“Please look at me.”
You don't know how or where you got the courage, maybe it was because your friends were there to support you and protect you, but not only did you look up, you stood up and marched straight up to him. 
“Babe-”
“Don't call me that! I think you have made it clear that I am not really your ‘babe' so stop torturing me by saying that!” You angrily interrupted. You knew that now everyone was staring at the two of you and the scene you were making.
“What's wrong? Talk to me. Why are you crying?” His eyes were soft and you wanted to let this whole thing go and forgive him but you knew you couldn't, your heart couldn't take this anymore. He took a step towards you as his hand came up and tried to caress you face but you pushed his hand away.
“You! You're what's wrong with me! You’re why I’m crying!” You spat. “I stupidly fell in love with you and loving you is a losing game and I got addicted to it. But now l'm done with your games, I have to be because now I need to go and put myself back together. So game over. I'm getting off of this emotional rollercoaster. I am completely drained because I've spent all of the love I had on you!” Tears streamed down your face like a waterfall and you didn't care you needed to say this before you lost the courage and let him back in. “I know I was nothing more than a quick fuck to you but to me you were everything and more. So this,” you gestured between the two of you. “Whatever this is between us is over and so is our friendship. Because if I stay I'II let you back in and I will shatter into a million pieces and I will never be able to put myself back together again.” You walked past him and quickly headed towards the door.
You didn't want to stop but you remembered what you were wearing. You looked down and saw his now tear stained jersey. You turned around and Trevor was right behind you causing you to run face first into his chest, you quickly pushed him away and saw his eyes filled with hurt, panic, and tears.
“Can we please go up to my room and talk about this?” He pleaded. “I can't lose you...”
You softened for a second before regaining your composure. You didn't answer him, you just pulled his jersey over your head and threw it at him, not caring that you were now shirtless in front of all of these random people.
"Goodbye, Trevor.”
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koiir · 9 months
Note
Hello. I loved reading rin, bachira and chigiri x drunk reader. Can you please make part 2 with KAISER (💃❣️), Sae, Reo and Nagi!!!?
⸻ Home wrecker?! pt.2 ⸻
─ in which he sees his girlfriend drunk and forgetting who he is
𓈒࣪ 𐐪𐑂 ─ Characters; Sae, Reo, Isagi, Kaiser
𓈒࣪ 𐐪𐑂 ─ Genre/ content; fluff + crack, aged up characters, reader is drunk, not proofread
A/n; finally was able to post something!! And I didn’t add nagi bc I couldn’t think of anything for him and I didn’t want it to be rushed or bad so sorry about that ! Part one here
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𓈒࣪ 𐐪𐑂 ─ SAE ITOSHI
Sae is holding his irritated expression as you he practically drags you with him into the car, he knew he shouldn’t have let you drink this much…
“Gosh…will you stop that [name]?” Sae wishes he could push you off him, but he can’t do that especially when you’re being this suborn. Calling him insulting words as you think he’s trying to snag you away from your boyfriend…that is him.
“Y-you’re not my boyfriend…hic!” He doesn’t listen to your pleas, he just keeps waking until he opens the door and makes you sit in the passenger seat.
For once sae lets the music drown out your voice, because he can’t handle the way you ramble on and on insulting him…it’s so annoying.
“My boyfriends hotter!” He looks to the side, wanting to glare at you but he looks back onto the road, because it definitely wouldn’t be good if he crashed because of you.
“Right.” “S-shut up…! You’ll never be like sae..” he doesn’t know why, but the way you say his name makes heat reach up to his cheeks as he bites the inside of his cheek, his face showing a faint blush. His heart is pounding similar to the way it does after a match, he grips the steering wheel tighter in order to not let this side of him show. Even though you won’t notice since you’re so drunk, right?
“You’re blushing!” “Shut up.” Sae can’t help the blush on his face as you ramble on about how flustered he is, knowing you will never be his because your boyfriend is so much better…
𓈒࣪ 𐐪𐑂 ─ REO MIKAGE
“Cmon bae…it’s me!” Reo wants to turn your body over and kiss you all over, he’s always been clingy. So when you don’t accept his affection he is left alone with no one to hold…because you don’t believe who he says he is.
“You’re not my boyfriend…he’s… he’s…” he can’t hear your next words as you lean your head into the pillow that lets you feel at peace, but reo won’t let you be at peace if you leave him hanging like this.
“[name]! Please love it’s me!” “Stop…hic!” Reo wants to hold you, he wants to be latched onto you as if he’s the glue on you. He shakes you about being wary of your state.
“My boyfriend is so loving…” reo feels his heart beat faster as he hears your soft voice enter his ears, he watches you stop putting up a fight and snuggle closer to the blanket that brings you the warmth you need.
Reo can’t help the grin that makes it way on his face, he sighs and lets his hand softly make it’s way on your back to rub it.
“Can you tell me why you love him so much?” “N-no!” He pouts, he thought he could at least have fun with this…
“Please? I’ll leave you alone if you do and your boyfriend will be back with you again.” Reo hopes this will convince you to answer his question, he can’t help how curious he is. What would you say about him? He knows whatever you say will make him fall deeper in love with you.
“F-fine…” he smiles, reo doesn’t know how to describe it. He knows he has felt it for years every since you two have gotten together, yet he never can find the words to describe this happiness he holds for you as he wishes to cling onto you and never met you go.
He lets you ramble on about him, not being able to realize that your boyfriend is right next to you as the intoxication in you makes your mind hazy. Once you have finished reo takes note of the you you sent to fall quiet, and he makes his promise come true. Because your boyfriend is now holding you tight just as reo had promised you.
𓈒࣪ 𐐪𐑂 ─ ISAGI YOICHI
“Baby please!” Isagi feels like the dog on his leash has been set free and he can’t get a hold of it….or in this case, you.
Isagi gets a hold on your hand as he grasped it making sure you won’t be able to let go, because he for sure won’t let you leave him especially when you are this drunk.
“Let go you fake! You’re…you’re a-“ isagi doesn’t want to hear the next words that will come out of your mouth, he places your head onto his shoulder causing you to stop specking and just stay still.
“[name] it’s me baby… please..” isagi hooks his finger under your chin pulling your face to look at him, your eyes were shut before you fluttered them open. Your movement are slow but they way your eyes widen certainly isnt. Before isagi knows it you’re clinging onto him whining out apology’s.
“I’m sorry baby! I thought you were a…hic, a fake!” He can only let out a soft chuckle as he holds you closer as your words are slurred, yet he feels the beating of your heart matching his. Isagi takes your care into consideration as he picks you up knowing you’re exhausted, especially with the alcohol in your system.
“Cmon, let’s go home [name].” Isagi gently places you down in the passenger seat, making sure your ready for the drive because with you in this state he wants you to be as comfortable as you could be. You won’t let go of his hand, tugging on it as you lean your head back with your eyes closed. It’s almost like you don’t want anything else but him with you.
“Yoichi…” his name falls out of your lips like honey even with the slight whine you let out, you don’t want him to let go. But how else is he suppose to take you home?
“I have to drive [name]” “ugh….” He lets go before making sure you to get to your destination safely, and once you two do isagi makes it his mission to pamper you so you can have a peaceful rest. Isagi just knows he will have more work to do once you wake up, but he sure will have fun telling you about this night.
𓈒࣪ 𐐪𐑂 ─ MICHAEL KAISER
“Stop it you dick!” You don’t look at the blonde as he keeps pestering you, for once you drank a little to much and you wanted to play a trick on him…but with Kaisers attitude he wouldn’t let you win.
Poke. “Please my love…you don’t seriously think I’m a dick right?” “Shut up!” You groan into the pillow as you want to laugh, seeing Kaiser beg for your attention. He lets out a sigh as he ponders on what to do, he’s never had to deal with this…especially when you’re this drunk.
Kaiser then pokes you again, wanting to catch your attention but you’re so tired that don’t budge as he continues with his tactics. He clearly doesn’t like you not batting an eye at him, so he try’s to make you notice him.
“Stop it micha…” your words seem to catch his attention instead, his eye widens as he feels himself pause. You called him by his name? Did you finally notice him?
“Love? Oh my gosh…thank goodness you know it’s me!” It seems you have given the blonde hope, because with your words his attitude did a whole 180 and now you know you’re going to regret ever speaking…
Immediately, you find yourself leaning into him as he is filled with joy, almost as If this is some victory to him. Kaiser sways your body with his as he holds you extremely tight, he seriously is acting like he hasn’t seen you in years.
“Ugh…stop it” yet he never listens, because he only continues to smother you with affection.
“Why? Please Liebling let me enjoy this after you were so cold to me…” even with his words you can tell he’s grinning, clearly enjoying your annoyance at him.
“Then at least take care of me.” He lets out a chuckle, knowing you might ask that especially since you clearly don’t have the energy to do anything with your intoxicated state.
“Fine fine…whatever you want love.” Yet of course it isn’t that simple, because whenever given the chance Kaiser will always poke fun at you leaving you wishing you could have just passed out on the couch.
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auteurdelabre · 4 months
Text
SOMETHING TO FIGHT FOR VINGETTE #2 dad!Joelxf!Reader
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Rating: 18+ (explicit, mdni)
Words: 4.7k
Summary: When you send Joel a dirty picture during work one day you don't forsee it changing your entire future for the better.
Tags: established relationship (married), dirty talk, public sex, masturbation (m), office sex, breeding kink if ya squint, wife/husband talk, pregnancy talk, caught, fluff and smut.
a/n: While this is from the STFF universe, it could read as a stand alone with you and Joel in an established relationship!
=========================================
Done as a request from two amazing readers who requested STFF vignettes of:
Also maybe some joel x mc stuff bc girlll 👀🥵
The “fuck me pregnant” smut. 👀
You know who you are ;-p
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Joel doesn't text. 
He hates the too small screen and how his big thumbs hit all the wrong buttons. He dislikes that he has to use his glasses to read the ones you send. He hates that at eight years old Sarah is already more adept to technology than him. 
So when the first few texts come through to your phone you're genuinely confused. 
Joel [11:12am]
Wish you w uhere hhere with me
[11:12am]
Did someone steal this phone?
Joel [11:13am]
what?
[11:13am]
My husband doesn't text. :-p
Joel [11:14 am]
What ttyhe fuck is :-p
[11:14 am]
Tilt your phone. 
A pause. Then. 
Joel [11:19am]
Jesus waas trying to be romantic and your sticking yourr tongue outt at me
You panic.
[11:19am]
No, I liked it! I was just being funny!
[11:19am]
I love that you're texting me!
[11:20am]
I was just kidding!
A longer pause, one in which you can imagine Joel sitting in his work truck, smirking down at his phone, fingers going over the buttons hitting wrong ones along the way. 
Joel [11:19am]
I knoww hoynhey I was ttoo
It's sweet actually, the way he tries so hard. You know texting isn't his thing, technology in general really isn't. But he's trying because he knows you*** like it. When you show him something funny Maria sent you via text or when you're pensive, hunched over your phone on the sofa, typing something over to Alex about work. 
It makes you feel soft for him, your body warm. 
[11:20am]
I miss you too baby.
Joel [11:21am]
Wish I could seedh you right now
His words are simple but they pack a punch. You wish you could see him right now too. In fact you wish every day was just like the weekend. The three of you in this perfect, happy bubble of comfort and laughter and love. It feels so good. 
You've been really busy at work lately, long hours. You wonder if this is what Joel is picking up on. This distance. The thought breaks your heart. 
You've also been talking about having a baby. A big step. Joel is so eager, so excited to create life with you. But you? You're terrified. You had a horrible fucking childhood. You're scared of what that could mean for your parenting. 
You look at your wedding ring set, twisting it and smiling softly.
The thing is, even if you were the worst parent Joel would be there to help. Joel is the most wonderful parent in the world. He patiently helps Sarah with her homework, he's impossibly kind to her even when she's defiant, he lets her put all manner of bow and glitter and product in his hair as she practices the latest hairstyles she's seen. He's a wonderful father. He's a wonderful husband. He's just... So fucking wonderful. 
You take a moment to consider Joel's message, then turn your phone to take a selfie to send to Joel. You're smiling at your desk and on impulse give a peace sign. The door to your office opens and Alex walks through with paperwork just as you snap the photo. 
"Tell me you're not sending that to Joel," Alex says and you lower your hand frowning at her. 
"Why? Last time I checked he liked my face."
Alex rolls her eyes dramatically, heaving the file of rescue records onto your desk.
"I'm gay and even I know a guy doesn't want a cheesy smiling photo from his wife." She gives you a knowing look.
"Huh?"
"He wants something. . . Special." 
When you continue to look confused she raises her eyebrows. "A photo you wouldn't send to anyone else if you catch my drift ..."
Oh.
You laugh breathily, your face going red at the insinuation. You mumble something about getting back to the funders and Alex stops at the doorway. 
"I'm heading for lunch with Tosin," she tells you, suddenly all business. "I don't know if you remembered."
"I did," you nod motioning out the door. "I left the speaking points by the front door."
"Amazing, I'll debrief when I get back."
Alex leaves, closing the door behind her, leaving you to stare down at your phone to see the grainy photo of you smiling flashing a peace sign and you wince. Is Alex right? It does look kinda immature. 
You delete it. 
You glance up to see your door closed and take a moment to consider. You take the phone in your hand again, thrusting it under your blouse and pulling back the cups of your bra. 
"Can't believe I'm doing this," you murmur to yourself, even though there's a part of you that finds this all a bit exciting. You press the button and feel a thrill go through you. 
You pull the camera out of your shirt, peering into the phones display. You frown when it comes out blurry with what you think is your nipple in the corner. 
Fuck.
No it's too... In your face. No mystery. You'll go a different route. You tug open your first few buttons at the collar of your shirt, until the lace of your bra is seen. You bend forward, allowing the camera to capture your winking face and generous show of cleavage. 
You hook your finger into the lace of your bra, suggesting more but showing just the skin. You tilt your head so your neck looks long and delicate. 
You snap a few photos until you find one you that you like; the one where you look playful and sexy and you attach it to the message. 
[11:33am]
Hopefully this tides you over. Xoxo
The photo is sent and you feel your body tingle as you imagine Joel innocently checking his phone for a text only to find that image waiting for him. You put your phone back down on your desk, eyes drifting to your computer. 
Suddenly you freeze. 
Wait what if he answers his phone while he's at the job site with a bunch of others? What if someone else sees? Oh fuck, what if Tommy sees?! You'll never be able to look him in the face again! 
Before you can throw yourself into a full blown fit of pique the alert comes through on your phone that you have another message. 
You flip the phone open to his message of just one word. 
Joel [11:34am]
More.
A thrill goes through you at the thought of Joel in his truck or at the job site turned on because of that photo. It makes your thighs clamp together as you imagine him looking at the photo, his eyes wide, his pouty mouth parted. 
You stand and lock the door to your office. You glance at your watch, thankful that Alex should be gone for a while. 
You don't reply right away because your trembling fingers unbutton the rest of your blouse. You'll send him a little striptease you think. 
You receive another text from him as you reach the bottom button. 
Joel [11:35am]
??
You laugh out loud at his impatience, typing hurriedly back. 
[11:35am]
Be patient. 
Your shirt is unbuttoned to your bellybutton and your bra is pulled down to show a peek of your nipple. Your finger grazes the bra cup, tugging. You snap this picture and send it off. The reply is immediate.
Joel [11:36am]
Youu look so good bby
You can imagine how Joel says it, voice all low and syrupy. Fuck you're turned on.
You fumble with the hem of your skirt tugging it down until the band of your panties is showing. You slip a hand underneath and raise the camera again. 
Your neck is tilted back and you let the camera capture your lower lip full as you bite it. You send it off, pulse pounding. 
Joel [11:38am]
Fuckd oplease morrhee. 
Joel can barely function. All the blood has gone to his cock. When he receives another image seconds later, this one of your hands between your legs, head tilted back and your eyes heavy lidded in pleasure he can't take any more. He fumbles the numbers on his phone, holding the cell to his ear. 
"Hello?"
"You know what you're doin' to me?"
His voice is low and husky and you're loving that twang of his that comes out sometimes. 
"No idea," you smile. "I'm just here working away."
"Makin' me hard, baby," Joel groans. "Had to go to my truck so no one would see."
The smile dies from your face, replaced with a mask of surprise as Joel's words register with you. This is followed quickly by desire. 
"You touching yourself, Miller?" 
Joel gives a shaky laugh. "No."
You swallow, your face burning with shame and lust. "Would you?"
Joel takes a quick glance around his work site. He's pretty far away from everything having parked in the back lot. But there's always a chance of someone walking by.
"Here in my truck? Right now?"
"Yeah," you offer swallowing. "I.. if you want I'd... Yeah."
Joel can hear it, the breathless catch in your voice. That little hitch that happens when you're turned on. You know he hears it because you can practically hear him smile over the phone.
"I gotta go park somewhere more quiet."
"No," you breathe heavily. "Do it there."
"One of the guys might see."
You don't speak but he hears the way your breathing increases in speed. He feels his pants grow uncomfortably tight now, desperate for you to be there in the truck with him right now. Desperate to see that unfocused look you get when you're turned on. 
"Exhibitionist are we?" Joel teases. "You like that I might be caught?"
"I... I guess so," you say surprising yourself. "Yeah."
"How're they gonna look me in the eye if they catch me jerking off in my truck?"
You laugh at this, but only to break the tension. It's a breathless thing. 
"Don't get caught."
You wonder if Joel thinks you're depraved for this. In all honesty you'd never thought something like this could be hot. But right now you're turned on out of your mind. Imagining Joel hard for just a photo of you, hearing his breathing grow unsteady. 
Joel as always though, knows you so well. 
"Making you wet knowing you got me here in my truck all desperate?" Joel asks, and his voice is pitched low. 
You let out a soft whine, your hand tightening around the phone receiver.
"Squirming there at your desk knowing I'm palming myself through my jeans right now?" You hear Joel give a soft shudder. "You like knowing that you do this to me, honey?"
"Jesus ... Yeah." 
He lets out a dark, smooth chuckle. The kind he presses against the hollow of your throat when you're in bed together. 
"And what are you gonna do for me?"
"Anything you want," you say earnestly. "The second I see you. Anything you want."
"S' that a promise?"
"Of course."
"Alright then," Joel says, leaning back a bit on the bench seat of his truck, his eyes scanning to make sure he's still alone. "You tell me what you want."
You pause. It's one thing to say things when you're together in bed, sweaty bodies writhing against one another. It's quite another midday over the phone. 
"Gotta hear you ask for it," Joel teases huskily. "Then I'm happy to give it to you."
You can hear his belt buckle and zipper over the phone and desire pools in your belly. He's really doing this.
"Want you to make yourself come," you say just above a whisper, blushing all the way to your roots, "while you're thinking about me."
"I'm always thinkin' about you," Joel assures you with a groan. And you can hear the unmistakable sound of flesh on flesh as he begins to stroke himself. 
"Yeah?" You say, swallowing. "What do you think about?"
"How you look at me when I'm between your legs."
Joel is blunt. He always has been. It's what you love about him and in this moment it turns you on so much your mouth goes dry. 
"Remember our honeymoon?" He groans, hand moving jerkily over his cock. "That night in Santorini?"
Fuck yeah you do.
You listen through the phone, eyes shut as Joel groans huskily into the receiver. His breathing is heavy, and you can tell he's got his teeth clenched. You hold yourself still, not wanting to miss a single fucking sound. 
"You still there?" Joel's voice is thick and rasping. The tone makes your thighs press together under the desk. 
"Uh huh," you pant. "Please don't stop."
"You really like this," Joel says and you can almost hear the curl in his smile. "I'll have to remember that." 
You can hear the movements of his hand increasing; can picture him in his truck jerking himself off with one hand, the other holding his cell to his ear. Why is that the sexiest thing you can imagine? 
What was he wearing this morning again? Oh fuck, that's right. That green plaid flannel, the one that he rolls up so it shows off his thick forearms. This inserts itself into your fantasy and you physically feel your panties dampen. 
"You got me so fuckin' hard, baby," Joel grunts out, his voice hitching with each swipe of his palm over the head of his member. "Love knowing you're sitting there turned on outta your mind." 
"I am," you whimper. "Fuck, I really am, Joel."
Your legs cross under the table and you squeeze them. Pleasure shoots up your core. You let out a trembling whine at the sensation.
"Love those ... Mmmph....sounds," Joel grunts into the receiver, imagining you there with your mouth parted. "Gettin' close-"
You've started rocking in your seat as you imagine it. 
"Want you here, your mouth-"
And then abruptly you hear Joel's breath catch, hear the rustling of his body on his truck. 
"I gotta go baby."
Before you can deny this interruption the line goes dead. Your legs cross, squeezing, desperate. 
Fuck.
Your phone alerts you to a text coming in. 
Joel
[11:48am]
Sorry bby. Tommy was commhing over. 
Disappointment doesn't touch on how you're feeling right now. 
You go back to your paperwork, deciding that you'll pick up things later when something occurs to you.
You bunch your skirt up to your waist and with a smirk you raise the camera to snap a photo of your legs spread with your damp panties on display. You giggle and send it off with: You owe me. Xo
You smooth down your skirt and re-button your shirt, looking presentable. You stand on shaking legs and unlock your office door, opening it. 
You go back to the funding report you have to fill in, your mind turning back to the sanctuary and the animal adoption reports. 
An hour or so later the main door to the office opens and you go to ask Alex how the meeting went when two familiar brown eyes come into view and your husband streaks towards your office. 
"Joel?"
His eyes are blazing. He comes into your office, closing the door behind him. You stand at his approach, coming to rest your hip against your desk, pulling him into your arms. 
He's wearing that green flannel and he smells like the outdoors, fresh and clean. You bury your nose in his neck inhaling. 
"Didn't get to finish our conversation," Joel murmurs against the top of your head. “Got your text and saw you needed me."
"Needed you?" You tease, cocking your head to the side, looking up at his face. "Whatever for?"
He gives a wry grin before sliding his wide palm between your legs, pressing over pressing over your clothed sex and rubbing gently. 
"This."
He smirks down at you, dark eyes on your lips. You kiss him fiercely, hands digging into the flesh of his neck, urging his mouth tighter against yours. His tongue slips between your lips and you moan against that deft muscle. 
"Couldn't leave you wet and waitin'," Joel murmurs as he plants kisses along your jaw. 
"Joel we can't do this here," you say amused and turned on. "Alex could be back any second."
"You promised me," Joel says, hands on your hips. "Anythin’ I want the second I see you, remember?"
You give him a crooked grin because really, you can't deny him. You don't want to. 
He urges your bottom back onto the desk as your hands reach for his belt. You both move quickly, aware that time is of the essence.
His wide hands tug your panties off without hesitation and within seconds he's inside you, bracing the two of you against the desk. Your arms are around his neck for purchase, his hands on your hips as he thrusts into you. 
"So wet for me," Joel groans in your ear as you bounce against him. The desk creaks with every thrust. 
"Always," you groan honestly. 
"Could barely drive here straight. All I could think about was..." Joel lets out a shuddering groan. "Fucking you right here on your desk. Watching you come for me."
You can barely form words. All you can do is hold tightly around his neck as he fucks into you, groaning and grunting beautiful, filthy things. His thumb finds your clit and begins circling as he slows the movements of his hips. 
Joel never lets himself come before you do. Not unless you expressly insist on it. He's working you slowly, his eyes heavy and fixed on your expressive face. You allow him to unbutton and strip your shirt from you, leaving you in just your skirt and bra, body tilted against his as you groan. 
"Lean back baby," he urges. "Lemme see you." 
You comply without hesitation, shoving your papers to the ground as you rest your spine along the desk. You don't care about funding proposals right now. All you care about is Joel and the beautifully slow way he's touching you. 
Joel watches you laying there for him, cheeks flushed and eyelids heavy. He's never seen anything so fucking sexy. And you’re his.
Waking up to you, going to sleep with your arm around his waist, seeing you with Sarah, talking about your day, watching movies as a family, going to the zoo. Every day since you've moved in has been bliss (aside from the odd argument because well, you're both human). He's so ridiculously in love with you. He wants to give you everything. 
And the fact that you want him as much as he wants you sometimes seems like a dream. One he never wants to wake from. You tell him every day you love him. That you love Sarah. You want to hear about their days, you want to be around them all the time. The way that unlike with Paul, you showed off your engagement ring every chance you could the second it was placed on your finger. 
He thinks about your wedding day, the way you'd looked coming down the aisle to him, how your lips felt when he kissed you for the first time as your husband. The way you call yourself his wife with pride to anyone who will listen.
And now you're here, his wife, laying against the desk as he thrusts into you, begging him for more looking so fucking gorgeous. He'll give you more. He'll give you anything, everything.* He wants to make life with you. Wants your belly swollen and everyone knowing that you're his. Wants to pick out baby names and do lamaze classes and watch you carry something you both created inside you. 
He knows you're not certain, knows that you're hesitant and he'd never force you. Knows that despite being off birth control you're still wanting him to use condoms. And he does without fuss. He will as long as you need him to. 
If you never want to get pregnant he doesn't mind. He got you and Sarah and that's all he needs. Another baby would be a joyful addition, but not necessary for his happiness. 
You're breathing quickly, chest heaving. You don't object when Joel begins tugging down your bra until your breasts are exposed to him. Joel makes a soft strangled noise in the back of his throat as they jolt and ripple under his thrusts.  
"How're you so goddam perfect?"
You grin up at him, your voice breathless. "Was gonna a-ask you the same thing, Miller."
You moan when his full mouth finds an exposed nipple, sucking and licking while he worries the other between his fingers. When he gently nibbles there you let out a sharp cry of pleasure. 
Joel thrusts between your legs slowly, filling you and with his mouth around your nipple he watches with saddled brows as your eyes roll back in your head. 
"So fucking gorgeous."
You're only able to whimper for him, thighs spreading further as he moves himself deeper between your legs. Your ankles cross behind him and he pulls back, his thumb once more against your clit. He can feel that you're close, your hips rutting more aggressively. 
"So good," you whimper up at him as the pleasure reaches that apex of pleasure. "You feel so f-fucking good, Joel."
He's curves over you, one hand on your hip, the other between your legs as his thumb works against you. He's looking at you with a look of such love that it takes your breath away. And he's all yours. This is your man. Your husband. Tears prick the corners of your eyes before pleasure between your thighs overtakes you. Your head tilts back. 
"Gonna come for me, honey?" 
You nod, overcome emotionally and now physically as your orgasm rushes through you. You arch back against the desk and Joel watches as your naked breasts tilt to the ceiling as you tighten around him. 
"There she goes," Joel says approvingly, his thumb not ceasing its movements as you crest for him. He feels you flutter around him and he groans as he throbs within you.  
"So good, baby."
You preen under the praise and you begin to come down, your eyes so heavy lidded Joel muses that you look asleep.
"Joel," you whine, hands reaching for him. "Please."
He gives you an indulgent grin, leaning over to kiss you. He gives a little grunt when you wrap your arms around his neck, kissing him deeply. You pull back when his hips stay stationary. 
"I didn't bring a condom," he confesses. "Thought I had one in the truck. Guess we'll have to finish this up at home tonight."
"But-" you're leaning up on your elbows, watching as Joel smiles lovingly down at you. "But you came here?"
"'Course," Joel says with a small smile, starting to pull back from between your thighs. "Needed to make sure my wife wasn't aching for me all day."
You feel everything in your body attuned to him. Seeing no guile, no resentment there in his deep brown eyes. He really just came to make you feel good with no expectation of his own pleasure. And that's what seals it, though you'd known it all along. You tugg off your bra and shirt completely, your eyes trained on his. 
"Want you to come," you say, your eyes trained on his. "Don't care about a condom."
You stand shakily, pressing him to sit in the chair behind your desk. Joel assumes that you're talking about a blow job, so he's confused when you throw a leg over his lap, perching there. 
"Honey do you know what you're saying," Joel says when you begin to lower yourself over his hips. "We've talked and-"
"I know what I'm saying and doing," you tell him, pulling him back out of his jeans hurriedly. "And I'm asking you to fuck me bare."
Joel's dark eyes blow wide and you can see the pupil rapidly expand. Desire courses through him and you watch as his cock still glossy and semi hard stiffens sharply to full attention. 
"If you want to," you add, hand gently stroking him, feeling him throb under your palm. 
He doesn't let you finish. His hands cup your face in his large palms as he kisses you gently, licking into your mouth as you begin to lower yourself onto his thick length. 
"Are you sure?"
You whimper, body jerking as you take all of him from this angle, stretching and watching as Joel's head tips back, eyes still peering out at you. 
"Very," you promise him as his wide hands skate down your spine. "I love you so much, Joel."
"I love you too, baby," Joel says earnestly. "But if you think you need to do this for me-"
"I don't," you explain, and you let yourself surrender to the building pleasure. "I want this Joel. Wanna carry your baby."
Joel moans, brows saddling and you feel him start to thrust up into you, not holding back. 
"Does that turn you on?" You ask, amused that you've both discovered something new about each other today. 
"Yeah," Joel admits with a shy grin up at you. 
"I'll have to remember that," you tease before you feel him thrust up into you and a stripe of white hot pleasure goes up your core. 
Joel's arms hold you tightly to his chest, pinning you around the waist as your head falls to his shoulder. 
You two thrust against one another in the silence of your office, the only sound the traffic outside, your combined groans and the wet sounds of flesh as Joel drives himself up into you. 
Your body is naked save for the skirt you wear, like some daydream of his come to life. 
He slips his hand beneath your skirt and builds the pleasure there, fingers on the pearl of your clit as you ride him. His head is tilted back so he can watch your face, the way your head lolls back when he hits a really good spot, the way you whine a little when you're getting close. 
"Gonna come," you slur out, already on the precipice of another orgasm. 
"Fuck yeah you are," Joel says through grunts, watching your body jerk against his deepening thrusts.
You let out little whines as you chase your pleasure, your hands on his shoulders for purchase as you slide yourself along him. He feels so fucking good. 
"Doing so good baby," Joel says gently, stroking your hair back from your face as he bucks under you. He looks to where your bodies join, seeing the glossy curve of your inner thighs. "Keep going, keep going."
You do, you slide along his length as Joel's arms wrap around you, rocking into you groaning about how much he needs you, how much he loves you and you melt against him. 
You come with a shiver, body arching against his as he watches you, marveling at how gorgeous you look like that. 
Then your mouth finds his and you take him deeper, feeling his cock nudge your cervix. You hear your husband groaning, his damp mouth warm on your neck. 
"Come on, Joel," You whisper breathlessly against the shell of his ear, fingernails digging into his shoulder blades. "Fuck me pregnant."
"Fuck yeah, honey, I will," Joel begins to babble against your neck, his hips setting a brutal pace as you cling to him. "Gonna fill you up. Gonna give you a baby, everyone's gonna know you're mine and-"
Joel lets out a strangled cry as he releases, you feel him pulsing inside you, holding you tightly to him as he empties himself into you. Your entire body quivers as Joel comes, his body tightening and then slowly loosening, going boneless against you. 
You both breath heavily, foreheads pressed tightly against one another before Joel plants a soft kiss on your neck, your jaw and finally your waiting lips. The two of you gaze at one another before giggling gently. 
"I'm texting more often."
Still panting and giggling in the afterglow neither of you hear when Alex returns to the office. 
"Hey so lunch-"
Joel wraps his arms around you, shielding your bared chest from your co-worker as she opens the door and walks into your office. 
Alex takes in the scene, you shirtless on Joel's lap as he sits behind the desk. Both of you red-faced and looking guiltily at her. 
With her hand still on the doorknob Alex backs out of the room, closing the door, but not before adding a very smug:
"Glad my advice worked."
209 notes · View notes
partycatty · 28 days
Text
kenshi takahashi > we should know better
warnings: smut :3 sneaky link type shit, possible ooc kenshi bc i know he's reserved but i couldn't get this idea out of my head
notes: i need him so BAYD. hot take, kenshi's hotter than johnny but johnny has a more appealing personality LOL
[ masterlist ]
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• kenshi knew better, he knew so much better than to indulge in the sweet little vice you were.
• he was quiet, you were quieter. kung lao and raiden had each other and fengjian, johnny had his fans, and kenshi had a corrupt family ensnared in dangerous practices. for the most part, he was on his own... and for the first time in a long time, there was someone who knew what that was like.
• kenshi expected to think low of the other chosen earthrealmers, not too worried about the competition given his skills and history. but you... you had some bite to you, and kenshi would often find himself aching to the thought of your strength and resilience.
• with a trained ear and shielded eyes courtesy of his forearm, kenshi would slowly pump at his cock in the late hours, drool collecting in his mouth at the thought of you milking him or all he's worth with your soft, plump lips.
• that, or stretching your needy cunt so wide and slapping the tears away from your plush, rosy cheeks. low grunts slipped from his throat as he painted his palm, pathetically wishing to fill you with his cum and thrust it back into your pussy.
• nothing ever undid him like you before, had him so winded by the curves of your body that he'd start to fall behind on training or arrive at odd times from the loss of sleep. upon confrontation, he'd give a gruff rumble about sleeping in or any other pathetic excuse he could muster up with the stoicism he had left.
• just who the hell did you think you were? you had no right to distract kenshi the way you do, but it's not even like you're trying. he wants, no, needs to feel you, maybe then he'll be satiated and clear-headed.
• the day came where you hinted at your shared desires, throwing a flirty comment his way when you were out of earshot from the others. one knowing glance and the sway of your hips was all it took to have kenshi stand in your doorway, tongue heavy in his mouth as he awaits plunging it into your core. he can't find the words to express it, so he instead stands there and hopes you understand the shared intentions.
• you're at each other like animals, clawing away the orange robes and kissing so harshly your lips are properly wet when you pull away for air.
• as much as kenshi wants to take his time, his cock practically aches so hard it hurts in his pants, and grinding it against you isn't getting him where he needs to be.
• he's shy about his carnal desire, too afraid to make eye contact so he puts his palm pressing into your back to force an arch, sometimes even holding your head onto the sheets as he drills into you from behind. the way your ass bounces against his hips leaves him nearly cross-eyed, pleasing him beyond what he could do to himself.
• these become common occurrences, kenshi lumbering in your doorway with a heavy look about him. odd hours of the night became your favorite because you knew it was another night of so many orgasms you'd tunnel vision.
• you're absolutely addictive, making his jaw clench and arms cross tight against his body when he side-eyes you during training. if one of the boys even thinks about drawing your private attention, you're swept off into the gardens where you'll be fucked to tears, pussy molded perfectly to his cock and his cock only.
• it was the only time he'd ever call you his. he wouldn't be physically affectionate, not much anyway. he'd sleep through the night but disappear before morning, whether to avoid suspicion or avoid confrontation you couldn't decipher.
• as good as the dick was, you didn't want a situationship, you wanted more. kenshi was nearly impossible to read at times, scowling your way as if he wasn't tongue-fucking you the night prior. you want to ask him what his deal is, what you two are, but his presence is quite intimidating otherwise.
• liu kang speaks of the tournament, the thing that brought everyone here in the first place. as you exchange glances with the boys, you finally land on kenshi, brows knitted in concern. what was to come of you two ate away at you, and there was an underlying fear that once the tournament was over, you'd return home and he'd go back to japan. the so-called meaningless sex would claw away at you forever as you'd dream about what could've been.
• your mouth feels sewn shut, as much as you want to ask all the questions burning away at you, but kenshi just stares ahead, expression never faltering.
• he couldn't look at you, he couldn't bring himself to face the idea of losing you... but he didn't quite know how to escape the situation he built. would you even accept him for who he really is beyond the sex? was it really meaningless? kenshi wasn't sure if he wanted the answer.
122 notes · View notes
Note
please do a part to the Grayson Hawthorn head canons maybe where he meets eve and that whole mess.
the moment i knew
grayson hawthorne x fem! reader
you're confident in your relationship with grayson hawthorne. that is until a girl who look exactly like emily laughlin shows up at the mansion.
(part of these hcs )
a/n: im SO glad someone requested this bc i had ideas while writing the hcs for this scenario. get ready for some drama and grayson being dumb💯 also finally happy to be back to posting!! been hectic but now i have free time <3 ty to everyone for being so understanding ur all amazing. listened to my sad playlist for the fighting part LOL also i wanted to make this fic format but i was already way too deep into the bullets to fix it.
word count: 7.2k (wayyy longer than intended)
warnings: angst (i love and hate it), swearing, eve, fighting, death threats, final gambit spoilers but also plot changes
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dating grayson hawthorne was truly the most beautiful feeling. you would even consider it better than finding out you were going to inherit billions. that's not true, but dating grayson is a close second still.
he was a fantastic boyfriend who cared so deeply for you, and you greatly got along with his family.
the two of you had occasional fights, but it was never anything that lasted more than an hour of being mad at each other. plus, he always caved in first whether you were right or wrong.
life was truly straight out of a movie for you. you were going to be a billionaire, run a foundation, and have a boyfriend. freshman year you would never be able to believe it, especially the boyfriend part.
it was almost too perfect. you should've expected an event to come crashing down at some point. because, after all, this still was the hawthorne family you're dealing with.
the road to disaster was initiated the moment grayson hawthorne left the house. he'd gotten into the ivy league of his choice, harvard and you were more than thrilled for him. but you were unsure of where it put the two of you at. he would be leaving the mansion, while you were forced to stay.
your's and avery's contract had yet to end, you still had a few month to bypass - so you couldn't leave the residence for more than 3 consecutive days.
grayson assured you the long distance thing would work, and he'd visit you as often as possible, then when you passed the year mark, you'd be able to visit and stay with him for long periods.
the plan he formated has eased your worries about your relationship. however, a small, but growing wall had formed between you, and you feared him leaving would lengthen it. you'd begun to notice a distant feeling from grayson at times, it was as if he was still concealing a part of himself. it was a build-up of all the unresolved emotional stresses he's faces - mainly from the death of both emily and tobias.
there were moments when you had attempted to get him to open up - but he either never got the hint or desperately wanted to remain ignorant. you'd decided to leave it as is, and perhaps that was your first error.
before leaving the family had put together a party as a 'farewell' gift. since the night began, you sensed the distant feeling had returned and grayson wasn't entirely there.
when a young girl had fallen into the pool, and grayson was quick to save her, jumping right into the pool in his suit and tie. you were quick to approach them with towels; even after the girl was returned to her family, grayson stayed still with a distant look in his eyes. you called his name and shook him a few times before he finally snapped back. but before you could question anything, he sought off into the house - leaving you on your own.
you gave him time alone since that was what he obviously wished for. you were relieved to see avery return with grayson, so relieved that you were insensible to the tension between the two.
thought things weren't resolved when grayson left, you were still hopeful for the both of you.
it started off great; frequent texts, late-night calls, occasional visits, and even gifts delivered to you. you felt silly for not having faith in the long-distance thing.
but your doubts returned when those daily calls turned into weekly texts and updates and those every other weekend visits shifted to seeing each other once a month.
grayson's excuse had been he was adjusting and had a hard time getting a grip on balancing everything in his life. had it been anyone else, you'd believed it better, but because it was grayson hawthorne, who you knew could effortlessly take on any task - you were growing suspicious. but you had yet to have a serious with grayson about it.
your silence broke the moment avery sat you down and revealed what had gone down in the wine cellar with grayson the night of his party.
she started with her concern for grayson, then ventured onto what happened after grayson ran off. avery had been in the wine cellar getting a bottle at jameson's request when grayson stumbled in. she immediately noticed he was in distress, and it wasn't long before he started breaking down. avery did her best to help, but he just insisted she leave, then went on a tangent about seeing hallucinations of emily and all the stress caused by being a hawthorne. avery's first thought was to get you, but he begged her not to tell him, which is why she was silent until that moment.
you were too occupied on the information regarding your boyfriend to even get a little mad that avery withheld the information. you had an inkling grayson wasn't well, you hadn't known it had gotten as bad as it did, and it was probably much worse by now.
you made an urgent call to grayson the as soon as you got to your room, and it took a couple tries to get him to answer. he answered a bit agitated, but you didn't care and started hounding him for an explanation on everything avery had told you.
at first, grayson was taken aback by both the interrogation and avery betraying him, then he finally confirmed that avery's words were true.
your heart grew heavy, and he confirmed everything. it was silent on the line for a second before you spoke up again. the first thing you asked was 'why?' why didn't he tell you about his trouble, especially the fact he was having nightmares and hallucinations about emily, his ex- girlfriend. and why, why had he confided in someone else instead of his own girlfriend.
you weren't jealous of avery nor did you fret over something happening between grayson and avery, but it hurt like hell to know she was the first he opened up to, whether it was intentional or not.
grayson repeated apologies over the phone, but by then, you were over it and wished him goodnight before hanging up. and once the line went dead, you curled up in bed and cried til you were tired enough to pass out.
grayson called multiple times the following day, and you declined them all. when calls were a bust, he turned to a flux of texts hourly, all consisting of the same mantra of sorry's and 'call me back'. you still didn't budge. you continued that behavior for a week or so, still upset at him.
however, you couldn't help but feel bad - the last thing you wanted to do was add stress to this place. nonetheless, your emotions were also valid; no one likes their boyfriend keeping things from them, telling said secrets to another woman he used to live with at that.
what you didn't expect on your monday morning was grayson to show up behind your bedroom door when you opened it. knowing he came all that way just because you were ignoring him made your heart flutter, however, you kept you solid composure.
grayson begged you to hear him out, so you hesitantly let him into your room and sat on the bed, waiting for him to say something. then grayson gave permission, he spilled his guts.
he revealed to you all of the difficulties he was going through, and you listened with an open heart. by the end of it he was crying, and you didn't hesitate to comfort him in his arms, a gesture he gladly accepted.
when it was safe for you to speak, you told him he didn't have to face all of it alone, there were many people in his life who cared for him.
"hawthorne or not, i'm your girlfriend. you are free to run to me when things get hard. then we can take it on together, okay?"
"you still want to be with me even after i've cried on your shoulder like this."
"the crying actually makes me like you more." you joke, and he gives a small smile at that.
you felt everything had gotten better after that. you'd manage to knock down another wall grayson had built, and now the two of you were closer than ever. avery's birthday was soon, so any two weeks after that, you'd be able to see grayson much more.
you were going to surprise your boyfriend by telling him you'd been looking at apartments in cambridge and landed on the perfect apartment for yourself. so, as soon as the year was up, you were moving there. yes, it was a huge step for someone you hadn't even been dating for over a year, but there was no place you'd rather be than by grayson's side.
avery's birthday had been, as jameson described, an "introvert's ball." and to be frank, you'd prefer it that way. after the way the last big party ended u, you were happy to have it just be immediate close friends and family.
everyone had a great time, grayson had made time to attend, and the both of you danced almost all night long. by the end, you're feet were blistered and bruised, but courteously swept you off your feet and carried you in his arms and into his bedroom. you were out like a light, but not before hearing grayson say 'love you' when he thought you were sound asleep. you went to bed with a smile etched on your lips.
you would've never left his bed had you known what was in store for you both the next day.
you'd just eaten breakfast with avery when you had both been informed by oren of a visitor name eve. avery looked anxious about it, and you didn't wait for her permission to follow her to the gates.
from the distance, you'd assumed it was rebecca, but as you approached, you realized that wasn't her. the girl in front of you was an exact copy of emily laughlin, more than her own twin.
"what the hell."
you were stunned to see a version of emily in person, and not just from photos you'd seen. avery was shocked, but it wasn't because of her appearance, more so due to her appearance at the manor. you were highly confused and began to think you were still sleeping.
avery had no choice but to confide in you everything that had gone on with toby and grayson's father, and how eve was toby's daughter. it was all much for your morning brain. but you processed enough to know the hawthornes, mainly grayson, seeing eve was the last thing needed. a part of you wanted to halt the meeting for selfish purposes. but the issue with eve being at hawthorne mansion meant a bigger issue; toby was taken.
oren, you, avery, and eve were discussing how to proceed, but there was little time to discuss the matter because the first person to come outside was grayson. the last person you'd wanted to come out of the mansion.
"emily?"
he was, understandably, pale as a ghost. it wasn't every day you saw a replica of your ex-girlfriend. you ran up to him with no plan of action. what could you possibly say? 'oh, this isn't emily this is eve, who just happens to look exactly like emily. and she's toby's daughter. oh, and by the way, your father is actually dead.'
grayson walked closer to eve, the resemblance becoming clear as day. looked to you to verify if what he was seeing was real or another figment of your imagination. you could only nod in response.
grayson didn't look away from eve, even when you tried to pull him back into the house. eve was annoyed by his trance and demanded to be taken inside for a shower after all she's had to deal with for the day.
so it was decided that everyone would gather in avery's room while eve used her bathroom. jameson had already been in avery's room when you four entered. he obviously noticed eve but made no comment until she was into the shower. since eve locked herself in the bathroom, grayson's eyes didn't move from the door. you couldn't lie and say it didn't create a sour feeling inside of you.
you knew it was horrible to make your boyfriend's trauma about you, but you couldnt help it. you were worried eve having the same face as emily was going to bring back unwarranted feelings. you bit back your envy, seeing that jameson was unaffected by eve's face, in contrast to grayson who stared longingly.
"tell me everything, heiress one and two."
avery briefly went over eve's appearance and toby's disappearance. she believes toby being taken has to do with a disk he gave her, one eve didn't know about. she ended it with an open discussion on ideas on how to get toby back.
jameson was the first to recognize how little you all knew about eve, and if you could truly trust her. you were glad someone had similar thoughts and you wouldn't be the first to voice them.
"we have to help her."
you turned to grayson at his words, your lips turned slightly down. jameson and avery also looked at the brother weirdly. was he seriously defending eve because she was an emily dupe?
"gray, we don't know her."
"it doesn't mean we should leave her to her own devices."
eve stepped out of the bathroom with clothes provided by avery,and grayson now had a look in his eye you coulden't identify. you had just about enough and lamely excused yourself to your room.
a part of you stupidly hoped your boyfriend would follow, but he never did.
as you busied yourself in your room reading books of fantasy lands to forget your own reality, avery knocked at your door. you hollered at her to enter, and she did. you continued reading, waiting for her to speak first.
"what do you think of a few welcome festivities?"
you raised a brow, "what did you have in mind?"
"how does chutes and ladders sound?"
chutes and ladder did not sound very fun, and frankly you'd never heard of it until that moment, but avery needed everyone in the game to get eve on board. you were even less enthused finding out grayson had been where eve was.
'you trust your boyfriend. you trust your boyfriend. you trust your boyfriend.' you repeated over and over. maybe you would believe it at some point.
as everyone gathered in the study and took a seat, you took your usual place next to grayson. you clenched your fists in your lap as you witnessed eve do the same.
as xander droned on about the rules of the game, you subtly side-eyed the pair beside you. your attention shifts back to the game when xander instructs the first person to go is the person with the best-kept secret. so that meant each of you had to confess something.
grayson took the liberty of starting off, not before sparring a guilty glance at you, "a girl tried to kiss me at harvard."
your head snapped, "what?"
"seriously, it was nothing."
"i can't believe you wouldn't tell me, i thought we agreed no secrets!"
"i didn't think it matter, it obviously pushed the girl away."
"it was enough of a deal for you to choose it as your secret."
you got up from your seat and opted to sit between avery and maxine. grayson grabbed your arm in an attempt to stop you, but you shook him off and took your new seat. grayson attempted to throw apologies, but you disregarded them.
to lighten the mood, maxine continued revealing she had a tattoo and xander continued telling the room he found his birth father; most of you gasped and asked for more, but xander kept his mouth shut. avery went next, heartfelt, saying she felt tobias made a mistake choosing her. you couldn't deny you didn't feel the same at times.
then eyes shifted onto you, awaiting your confession. you had a plethora to give, but you settled for one that matched the vulnerability of avery's.
"not to speak ill of the dead, but sometimes i think tobias hawthorne is a coward for leaving a game in his will instead of an explanation."
the room was silenced by your voice. you and avery each gave a look toward one another in understanding. you couldn't bare to turn your head in grayson's direction for his reaction. plus, you were still upset at him.
eve took the moment to finish the circle of secrets with her own. she disclosed her relationship with her family and their resentment toward her. you didn't fully trust eve, but you sympathized with her story. part of that sympathy was broken off as you saw grayson lean closer to her without a second thought. you started to think you would explode if the game didn't start any sooner.
as you wished, the game commenced - no surprise to you when eve was decided to go first. then the rest of you followed, and the race began.
you truly had no intention of trying that hard for a game, but it seems your inner competitiveness took the lead when you noticed eve ahead and grayson trailing right behind her.
maybe your anger and irritation spurred you on, but in everyone's, including yourself, surprise - you were right on eve's tail climbing up the ladder behind her.
your next move was a dirty one, maybe even callous, but in all honesty, you hadn't meant to do it. you think.
trying to grab onto the next rung as fast as possible, you managed to also grab the heel of eve's foot - causing her to misstep, lose her balance, and hang off the ladder by an arm and a foot. you utilized the time eve had to stabilize herself to then slide past her. you shot her a sorry look on the way up, and opened the hatch to the rooftop, declaring you the winner.
eve was right behind, grayson and jamseon after, and avery after two minutes. eve shot you a glare but didn't say a word about the incident. grayson was making his way in your direction, but you steered the other way to where jameson and avery stood.
jameson chuckled, "i didn't know you had it in you to play dirty."
"it was an accident, she tripped!" you defended.
jameson gave you a knowing look, but raised his hands in surrender and walked away to where xander and maxine were on the verge of entering. (they got sidetracked by a pillow fight)
you told avery you were off to shower and change; you hadn;t realized how sweaty you got until that moment. she nodded and you made your way to the hatch, but before you went down, she grabbed your arm.
"between you and me, was it an actual accident?"
"it was... if you count grabbing her foot and dragging her down as an accident."
avery shakes her head, "can't say i wouldn't have done the same given the opportunity."
walking down the hall, you heard your name being called. on instinct, you turned; grayson was behind you. you figured avoiding him wouldn't work forever.
"can we talk?" he asks, interwining his hand into yours.
you open your mouth the respond, but he cuts you off - "actually, you don't get a choice. i'm going to talk, and you're going to listen."
his tone left no room for argument, so you conceded. grayson went on to apologize for the 'almost-kiss' incident and for the lack of telling you.
"forgive me, angel. it was idiotic of me to assume it wasn't a important matter to communicate to you. you are the only girl i'll ever want to kiss."
you were a sucker for sincere apologies, and his piercing eyes made for a compelling argument. you sighed, "okay, i'll forgive you. but next time a girl tries to kiss you and you don't tell me, i'm kicking your ass, then hers."
grayson smiles and leans in for a kiss, which you accept. as his lips ignite with yours, you can't help but think of how much of a hypocrite you're being by not telling him your emotions regarding eve. 'it wasn't the right time,' you told yourself. it was only her first day, you were jumping to conclusions too soon. everything would work out.
the morning made for a rude awakening; threatening note sent to the gates hadn't been on your to-do list. avery shook you so hard you jumped out of bed, thinking it was an earthquake and smacked grayson's face in your alarm. (he wasn't pleased at that)
the threat contained a photo of toby, and a crypt message you all decoded. everyone started to think of suspects for the culprit behind the kidnapping. number one being skye hawthorne.
however, the investigation proved to be fruitless because she didn't have toby, and the other suspects led to a dead end. the threats hadn't stopped either.
you found yourself sleeping in grayson's more frequently. grayson didn't feel comfortable leaving you in your room, but you also knew it was because he secretly loved cuddling you at night. he held off going back to harvard, claiming he couldn't leave while there was danger lurking. it made you feel safe, but you also wondered if eve had anything to do with it. part of you didn't want an answer to that.
on this night, the two of you were in the pool past midnight. now that you learned to swim, grayson wouldn't stop challenging you to races. you knew what the outcome would be, but you accepted everytime, telling him you'd beat him eventually. (doubt, but it was nice to dream). for every win, you'd award him a kiss per his demand.
on his fifth victory, you leaned in to kiss him, only to ambush him with water to the face. grayson pretended to be annoyed and claimed revenge. you quickly swam away, but it didn't take long for him to catch up to you. he hands attacked your sides, and you were tortured by the ticklish sensation. you begged for him to stop, but he refused and wanted an apology.
you were stubborn, but finally threw in the towel, and accepted defeat. even after he stopped, grayson kept you in his arms as you calmed down from your fits of laughter. for a moment, it was just the both of you gazing into each other's eyes lovingly. at the same time, you titled you heads and reduced the gap between your lips.
before your mouths made contact, the lights, alerting the presence of another, shone. you both quickly turned toward the direction of the light, and grayson made a swift move to push you behind him. you were half expecting it to be another hawthorne brother, or worst-case scenario - the kidnapper.
but instead, there stood eve. she wore a silk lilac nightgown with a small slit that stopped midthigh. you immediately recognized it as your own by the small tear on the strap. 'when did she get this from my room?' had she stolen it or did grayson give it to her? both answers made your blood boil.
grayson relaxed as he recognized her, but you stayed tense. eve apologized for the intrusion, she was walking around the grounds and hadn't realized there were others awake. despite hating the interruption, you assured her it was alright, and she should be careful roaming around at night.
you thought that was that, and she'd just wander off, but it wasn't.
"do you mind if i swim, too?"
"well we-"
"not at all."
you turned your head to your boyfriend and gave him a questioning look, but he ignored it. his attention was now on eve. you had no choice, but to go along with it.
eve was quick to remove her your nightgown and reveal a one-piece swimsuit under. you were a bit confused, didn't she say she was just roaming the grounds, why did she already have a bathing suit on? but you stayed silent.
she jumped from the edge of the pool and landed a few feet away from where you and grayson. for a moment she struggling to reach the top, likely from not expecting how deep the pool actually was. grayson, ever the hero, swam to her aid, grabbing her hand to reel her back to the surface.
at this point, you couldn't even blame eve for these little accidents. you were getting upset at how grayson never failed to aid her when she was in need.
eve laughed, and thanked him for the gesture. then they started conversing about a topic you didn't care to pay attention to. had you just become a third wheel? 'no, no. he's just being friendly. gray will come back to you any second, then you'll both return to his room.'
except that didn't happen. eve asked grayson to race her, and he gladly accepted. even teased her about how badly she'd lose. not once did he turn back your way. no, but as eve swam to the edge, she gave you glance, obviously noticing how you awkwardly floated in your spot waiting for grayson. but she didn't speak a word, and continued to race in preparation for the friendly competition.
you had more than enough at that point. you swam to the pool's railing and pulled yourself out. you stomped out the swimming area, not even bothering to get a towel, and walked back into the mansion. you'd apologize to the cleaners for the wet mess later.
you were more heartbroken than angry. which was worse in your book. you'd been trying not to act like a jealous girlfriend who couldn't trust her boyfriend, and you took grayson's trauma with the emily situation into account, so you made excuses for all of grayson's actions toward eve. but sometimes, you shouldn't deny what's right in front of you.
now, you were cold and wet. you just wanted to go to bed. taking on threatening notes seemed so much easier now.
with all your deep thinking, you missed the sound of running feet from behind you. when a hand grabbed your wrist so suddenly, you were startled, and on instinct - you hand went flying at whoever stood behind you.
seeing now that it was grayson, you gave a small apology, seeing him clutch his face in pain. but you weren't that sorry at all. you probably would've done the same thing if you knew it was him.
grayson collected himself like nothing, "why did you leave?" he gently asks, wrapping a towel, you just noticed he brought, around your form.
you feign innocence, "oh, you actually noticed i was gone? 'figured you'd be too busy racing your new best friend."
"what are you acting like this?"
"i'm tired. tired of standing by as you treat eve like she's a damsel in distress. eve's no better; she clearly knows the effect she has on you."
"you're misinterpreting the situation. eve is one of us, we have to protect her."
"i'm sorry, did we forget you launched a full federal investigation on avery and i as soon as we got here? even after the will reading, i don't remember getting this warm welcome from you."
grayson lips form a straight line, frustrated, "that was different. eve has no one else-"
"she's not emily, grayson."
"trust me, i know that."
"i dont think you do! you see her as your second chance. news flash grayson, she isn't, emily is dead!" you venomously spit out. you hadn't intended for the harsh words to come out, but you wanted to hurt him as much as he was hurting you at the moment.
grayson's fists clench at his sides, he eyes brim with rage toward you, "jealously isn't a good look on you, y/n." the blow cut deeper than you had wished.
"neither is ignorance." you bite back.
you angrily turn your back and storm off in the direction of your room. luckily, it was only less than twenty feet away. you hoped grayson got the hint to not follow.
"we owe her our loyalty, y/n." grayson calls out one last time in a calm voice - different from the aggravated one from a second prior.
you enter your room and turn to him, deciding your final words before closing your door, "your loyalty was to me first."
part of you expected an apology the following day, but it never came. you were unsure where the two of you stood, and you weren't going to waltz up to grayson door to ask.
you confided your feelings in avery and libby, both defended your stance. avery was also wary about eve, and libby just loved any chance to bash a hawthorne.
you were sure the whole house was aware of the argument, likely the laughlins and thea calligaris as well. news travels easily around here. you didn't even want the know eve's point of view on the whole thing.
you steered clear of grayson, and busied yourself with toby's kidnapping along with everyone else. (which honestly should've been the most important matter.) you ensured avery everything was fine because you felt selfish making it about you when toby was in serious danger.
even without being in the same room with grayson, the tension was painfully evident. you could always sense when his gaze was on you, and it took everything to not return it. when you both were in the same room, you made sure to stay on opposite ends. everyone else had trouble deciding on how to handle the situation, but there were no direct comments, at least not that you heard.
there were nights when you wished grayson would show up at your door and just apologize. you wanted a reenactment of those cheesy romance movies where the guys begs the girl for forgiveness, and then they kiss and makeup. truthfully, you would've taken him back in a heartbeat. but this wasn't a movie, and he never showed up at your door.
you wondered if he even felt half of the heart ache you were going through. by the way eve was still hanging around him, even after the argument, you were starting to doubt it.
the more the investigation ensured, the more you and avery grew suspicious of eve. though whenever you thought you had a smidge of proof, it never followed through. it only succeeded in making you look like the villainous ex girlfriend and eve the innocent protagonist.
you and grayson were in a forced proximity when you had to investigate the wine cellar, along with avery and jameson. it was an awkward situation for all four of you, especially pertaining to the event with avery and grayson. but nonetheless, it proved to be useful because the final clue was hidden in the crystals of the chandelier. 'DON'T TRUST ANYONE'
you shouldn't had been so surprised that it was another vague message.
after critical thinking, you and avery came to the same conclusion - eve. the game started with her, she had to be the one tobias was warning about.
however, jameson and grayson weren't convinced by the conviction. both inferring that it would've stated 'her' instead of 'anyone'. but you persisted, avery backing you up.
jameson sighed, "i think recent events are affecting your judgment, y/n." you were taken aback by the claim, especially it coming from jameson. hadn't he been suspicious of her as well?
"i'm not acting out of jealousy. the old man knew of her, even made a plan in the event she arrived to the mansion, yet failed to mention her to anyone. why is that?"
"y/n." grayson spoke to you for the first time in awhile, "this isn't like you to act so rash. if you gave evie a chance-"
"evie? what, you guys have fucking pet names for each other now? don't you see how she's played you since the beginning!"
"y/n, you're not thinking straight."
you shake your head, "no, i don't think it's ever been clearer than right now. so, i'm going to give you one last chance grayson. to, for once, take my side over eve's. because if you don't, you're going to lose me."
there was silence, a hairpin being dropped could be heard. grayson put his head down and said nothing. and yet, it told you everything. you laughed at yourself for expecting a different outcome.
you scoffed with a humorless grin, turned around and walked away. you heard avery call out for you, but you ignored it. you didn't want to see the pity she'd have in her eyes after that embarrassing debacle.
you made it all the way to your room before crying into your pillow. you finally got the answer of whether or not it was over. the pain of the night at the pool seemed like an easy feat to face compared to your anguish now.
when you calmed down a few hours later, you looked out the window and saw the pool. a flashback of pain seared in you at first, but then you noticed something peculiar you failed to notice before. there was a part of the tiles that weren't aligned with the rest. you likely would miss it if you were close to it, but from far away it was noticeable.
something inside you told you to investigate. maybe it was the need for a distraction, but you followed your gut, not even stopping to change attire.
once getting to the pool, you jump straight in to create enough force to reach the bottom of the pool more efficiently. there, you observed the tile for a second before attempting to move it. nothing happened, and you readied yourself to get a breath of air -but suddenly, a key popped out from a compartment under the tile. you got it and returned to the surface.
without the chlorine in your eyes, you were able to immediately know where to put the key to use; the chapel tobias built for nan hawthorne. you rushed there, not caring for how soggy your hair and clothes were.
luckily, nan wasn't anywhere in sight. you rushed to the statue in the center of the room and eyed it for a moment before finding the intended target, the statue's mouth. you fit the key inside and wiggled it around before hearing that 'click' to let you know it was unlocked. a second later, a small plate popped out and with it it contained a usb. you'd never been prouder of yourself for figuring out one of tobias's stupid puzzles without avery's help.
you pulled out your phone and pressed on avery's contact, and started ringing her. she picked up in an instant, "hello?"
"avery! you won't believe it i-"
your sentence was rudely cut off due to your phone being shot of your hand. by a bullet.
you gasped and snapped your head to the entrance of the chapel. you saw the gun at once and its owner; eve.
"sorry, i think you're going to need a new phone," she says innocently.
you let out a cheerless laugh, "i knew it, you psycho bitch!" obviously not the best choice of words to say to the person pointing a gun at you, but god, did it feel good to be right about eve.
eve rolled her eyes, "i suppose you did, but it wasn't like anyone believed you. i'll admit you and avery almost, just almost, got me. but eventually, i was able to fool her too. now give me the usb and i won't shoot you." she got you there.
you gripped the usb tightly in your palm, "why do you want it?"
"i'm getting what's owed to me, what was taken from my family by that stupid old man. god, was it easy to infiltrate the hawthornes. especially grayson." you flinched at the mention of his name and eve took note of it.
she laughs, "right, he's your boyfriend- i mean ex-boyfriend, oops." there's no sincerity in that apology. "you know, when i heard you two were dating i was prepared to work twice as hard to get his attention.. but it was proven unnecessary because as soon as i stepped on hawthorne mansion - i had him." ouch.
"enough chatting, now walk over here slowly and hand me the drive." eve commanded, emphasizing the gun in her hands.
where was your bodyguard when you needed him?
you followed her commands, and took slow steps to her. she took on hand off the trigger to open her palm toward you. you made a motion to place the usb in her hand, but then quickly charged at the gun.
you both struggled back and forth, moving the gun. suddenly, the weapon flew out of both of your grasps and landed in front of the angel statue.
with the usb situated in your pocket, you ran to retrieve it, but eve was quick and tackled you from behind, causing you both to land on the ground. you were both rolling up and down the aisle, trying to get the upper hand. eve roughly situated herself ontop of your waist, immobilizing you. then her hands slithered to your neck and squeezed hard.
it was getting harder to breathe, but you were a fighter. your armed flayed at her, grabbing whatever was closest. as a last resort, you clawed at her face.
"bitch." you mutter as your nails scratch across her face.
it worked, eve howled in pain and retracted her hands from your neck. you briskly shoved her off your body. having little energy from the lack of oxygen, you still take your chance and crawl toward the gun. but eve had recovered, and dragged you back by your heel. 'talk about karma' you thought.
you're crazily moving your feet to shrug eve's hands off as you continue to painfully crawl. but suddenly the gun is lifted off the ground, both you and eve look up to see grayson now clutching the gun. you're both relieved and worried.
you stand up on your feet, eve does the same. grayson waves the gun toward both of you and both hold your hands in front of your forms.
"gray, thank god you're here. i came here looking for a clue, and found a usb, but then y/n showed up.. s-she took the usb from me then pulled out a gun and tried to kill me." her voice was no longer diabolical, now it was full of vulnerability and fear.
"grayson, she's lying, she almost killed me!"
"y/n's been working with vincent blake, she plans on giving that usb to him."
"oh, you little liar!"
"look at what she did to my face!" eve points at the bloody scratch on her face, starting from her left eyebrow and ending at her lip.
grayson eyes went back and forth in observing both you and eve. the gun was pointed in the middle, still deciding its target.
his eyes landed on yours, as does the gun. "y/n. give me the usb." your stomach drops.
"grayson." you plead.
"y/n. now." he held his hand out. you knew that tone. it meant 'no room for argument'.
if he didn't believe in you even now, then you had no choice. you took steps toward him.
"careful, gray, pretended to give the usb to me and then attacked me." eve warned. you shot her a nasty glare.
grayson doesn't say anything and waits for your move. you drop the usb in his hand.
"thank you." you say nothing.
grayson turns his head to eve, "i've always known who to believe." eve smiles at that, "i just had to stall long enough for john to show up."
in an instant, eve is brought down to the floor. oren is behind her, holding her arms behind her back long enough to put handcuffs on her wrist.
you let out a large breath you didn't know you were holding. grayson believed you in the moment that mattered most.
grayson tosses the gun to the ground and engulfs you in a hug. you accept it, and grip onto him like your life depends on it. his hold triggers your emotions, and tears spring out from your eyes. you can't help it when you start crying into his shoulder. he soothes you, cradling his hand on the back of your head.
"im sorry." grayson muttered into your hair. "you were right. i can't let emily rule my life any longer."
"you're an idiot." you say in the midst of tears.
"i am." he agrees
"and i'm still super mad at you."
"i know."
"you're going to have to work really hard to earn my forgiveness, like beg on your knees and hold a boombox outside of my window type stuff." you croak.
"i will, baby." grayson smiles.
for now, you were happy to feel safe and protected in his arms.
bonus:
"is this really necessary?"
"very," avery confirms, "you broke boyfriend code, now your penance must be fulfilled."
"you guys only made up those codes a day ago," grayson counters.
it was true, after the whole eve fiasco grayson was willing to do whatever to earn your forgiveness. you were ready to forgive him, but you also wanted to give him a hard time. it might've been a little evil of you, but you thought it was well deserved. after a girl talk with avery and libby, you came up with a new set of rules you liked to refer to as 'boyfriend code.' inspired by the code the brother share.
"exactly why we ought to use you as an example for future culprits," xander justifies waving a hand in grayson's direction.
grayson groans, looking up at the ceiling, "i love my girlfriend. i'm doing this for my girlfriend." he murmurs to himself.
"that's the spirit" nash cuts in, he lifts his drink up.
avery looks around, "where is y/n, anyway?" she asks.
"here!" you announce, walking out from behind the stage, "i was just preparing the song." you take a seat next to jameson and grin mischievously at grayson, "you'll love it."
graysons eyes narrow, "i have a feeling i won't."
just then, the beginning of a song plays out from the speakers.
grayson eyes widen, and he looks at you, "no."
your smile widens, "oh, yes."
"c'mon gray, we're all waiting." jameson hollers from his seat.
everyone starts egging grayson on, cheering for him to commence.
he takes a deep breath, "guess i have no choice."
as grayson starts to sing the lyrics of "shake it off" by taylor swift, jameson leans over to you.
"gotta say, this is a brilliant punishment for him."
you nod in agreement, "and it'll be even better after when i reveal, i have ten other taylor swift songs for him to perform." specially, 'ME!' was next.
"yikes. remind me to never break boyfriend code."
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dizzyjelly · 6 months
Text
You Deserve Better, I'm Better(18+)
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Word Count: 3.6k
Summary: Abbys dating Owen, and you hate him. But she doesn't like him all that much, either. You deal with the unreciprocated feelings until one night you come to find out, she really wants you.
Cw: Owen, toxic bf behavior, a little arguing, fem!reader, drinking, cheating, reader cries a little, smut, fingering(a!receiving), pussy eating(a!reciving), boob stimulation(both receiving.)
A/n: I love this one you guys!! Was so happy to write so much Owen slander bc let's bffr who likes Owen. Maybe he's not thst bad but he did cheat on his PREGNANT gf, like come on. Anyways I do NOT condone cheating but it's needed for the plot of this fic so yeah, hope yall enjoy.
You'd never understand what she saw in him. Sometimes you thought she didn't even know what she saw in him. At first, it was just because he was taking away your quality time with you best friend. But your feelings of jealousy slowly grew into something you weren't sure how to handle.
You didn't just want to be Abbys friend, you liked her. Let's be honest, you loved her. But there's no way she felt the same, she was with Owen after all. But why? He wasn't cute, nor did he have that great of a personality.
Maybe it was just because he played varsity football. Which still wasn't that great of a reason. Oh, well. At least she still made time for you.
Nothing was out of the norm until she started to favor you over him. Not that you were complaining, but his new passive aggressive attitude towards her bothered you. And he'd grown to dislike you, which was a big reason why she didn't hang around him as much. It was weird, he was her boyfriend after all.
However, even if it was puzzling to you, you weren't going to complain. In fact you enjoyed this new favoritism. It made you feel.. wanted. You wished she wanted you like you wanted her.
Tonight was the first varsity football game of the season. Abby was attending, obviously, and you joined her because well, she asked you to. Pleasee it'll be so boring if I go by myself, those were her exact words. She also complained about having to hang out with the other players girlfriends, who she has a strong distaste for.
"Feels nice to rest my feet." You sigh softly as everyone sat for the halftime show.
"Yeah.." Abby smiles over at you.
Your arms touched and your thighs were squished against one another due to how packed the bleachers were. It was fairly cold out so you shared a blanket Abby had brought. It rested on each of your shoulders and draped over one of your arms.
Curiously, your eyes drifted to the scoreboard. Your school was winning by three points, to which you cracked a smile. You weren't sure why because you didn't give a fuck about football, but it just felt nice. Abbys eyes however, never left you. She took the chance to admire you like some creep as you looked away. As you started to turn back she fixed her gaze to the field.
"Hey, we're winning." You tap her arm with the back of your hand.
"Oh, nice." She smiles at you.
Since the halftime show was beginning, the football players got to sit at the sidelines. Which really meant they all ran into the stands to say hi to their friends. You sighed and glared at Owen with annoyance as he approached you and Abby. Immediately he leaned down and took her chin in his hand, kissing her like his life depended on it.
And you wished it was you. You wanted to put your lips against hers, you wanted to hold her face in her hands. Fuck you even wanted to feel her tongue swirl against your own. You're pulled out of this trance as you notice Abby pushing him away and letting out a small groan.
"Fuck was that." Owen's voice is rough and he stares at you, like it was your fault.
"Sorry you're just- you're all sweaty. Kinda gross." She's quick to come up with an excuse.
"Whatever" he scoffs and rolls his eyes, God you hated him, "are you at least coming out with us after the game?"
"Can Y/n come?" Abby asks, looking over at you and smiling for the first time since Owen came over.
"Fine." He let's out a small sigh and looks your way once again.
"Then sure, why not?" She shrugs.
And thank God Owen left almost immediately after that. He'd never been a joy to be around, but lately it was like you could not stand him even if you tried. Abby just dismissed it, like always, saying he probably just had a bad day. You hated how she'd defend him.
Even so, you just let out a small sigh and ignored it. As much as you hated to hear it, you were Abby's best friend after all. Of course she'd tell you about her boyfriend. If only things were different. Then again, even if Owen was a good guy, you'd probably still be jealous. She deserved better, and you were better.
In the end, the opposing team won by fourteen points which left Owen and his teammates sulking. They all went to the locker rooms to get cleaned up, Abby got a text from Owen saying they'll meet you guys outside. She put her phone away and noticed you were shivering a bit.
She has folded the blanket and was carrying it, but she walked behind you and wrapped it around your shoulders. Then you blushed as she wrapped her arms around you and embraced you from behind. What was she doing? And it's like she read your mind, because before you could even ask, she said,
"Body heat." It was whispered right into your ear and you felt small puffs of her hot breath fan over your neck.
You gave in, you always gave in to her. Your hands wrapped around her arms and you leaned back into her. She didn't do stuff like this when you were out a lot. But no one was really around, just some of the other girls who'd be going out with you guys. And they wouldn't say anything, hopefully.
Disappointment filled your mind as the sound of boys clamoring could be heard and she stepped away from you. Her hand rested at your lower back right up until Owen was getting close enough to notice, then she kept her hands to herself. You frowned. It wasn't fair, he changed her.
The group of people you went out with, which consisted of Owen, three other football players, and their girlfriends, took a bunch of separate cars since almost all of you drove. Abby looked at you expectantly when Owen held her hand and wanted her to ride with him. You drove to the game together that night. You didn't know what she expected, were you supposed to tell her to go with you instead? It was awkward to say the least.
"I'll be fine, Abs. I know how to drive my car, go ahead with him." You nod.
Owen furrowed his brows with confusion. It's like she needed your permission or something.
"Okay, just- be safe." She settles on that and a pat to your shoulder.
You made your way to your car and Abby got into the passenger seat of Owen's. As you drove you listened to your favorite songs and only thought about her. Abby was not having as good of a time.
"What's up with you and Y/n?" He'd ask not even a minute after he started to drive.
"What does that even mean?" Abby asked in return, crossing her arms, "she's my best friend if you're asking what we are."
"Is she really? Why do you always hang out with her instead of me, hm." He looks over at her and she just stares blankly at him, "Yeah that's what I thought. Quit acting like she owns you, I'm your boyfriend."
Abby was silent. It was extremely painful because he was right. Not that she thought you owned her, or she acted like it, but still. She did favor you a lot and would do anything you asked. God why was she so stupid.
In all reality, Abby liked you way before she got with Owen. She just thought you were out of her league so she never went for it. But lately, she's felt that you might like her back. She hoped. But why did she want to be with you if she was with him. Owen never satisfied her, emotionally or sexually.
There was just something so intriguing about you. And she remembered all the hook ups you'd tell her about. How loud the girls always were. She wished it was her you were touching, her that you were making feel so good she couldn't help but scream.
Owen pulled into the parking lot of some diner and she was pulled out of her delightful fantasy. A sigh fell past her lips as she got out of the car, slamming the door shut and walking over to stand by the road and watch for you. Owen went inside to find his friends.
You pulled in and she smiled, walking over to your car. As you got out she looked into the diner, making sure she was out of Owen's view before she pulled you into a hug. Everytime she hugged you it was so.. intimate. Her arms would envelop you and she'd pull your body against hers.
"Missed me that much?" You'd tease, giggling softly.
"Shut up." She playfully shoved your shoulder as she pulled away.
You just shook your head softly then followed her inside. Everyone else was busy ordering, she sat in the booth and looked at you.
"Sit by me." She smiled.
"Of course, I have to use the bathroom first though I'll be right back." You nodded softly then headed to the bathroom.
When you returned to the corner booth, you were displeased to find it basically full and just a little room left for you on the end. Abby was sat between Owen and some black haired girl who laughed obnoxiously. She looked at you and frowned, mouthing a 'sorry' as you had to squeeze your way into a seat.
You waved your hand as to say 'it's fine' then you all began to eat. Abby felt bad, she just kind of sadly stared at you for the duration of the meal. You really didn't mind all that much. The only thing that really bothered you was seeing her with him. But you were getting used to that feeling now.
Dinner finally ended and everyone started to say their goodbyes. You kept an eye on Owen and Abby as they stood further away, he seemed to be asking her for something but she was giving him a very adamant no. When you saw how they acted sometimes, you wondered how they were even still together.
Eventually he gave her a small kiss then walked away, stomping and throwing the door open with frustration. He must've been really mad. Abby just rolled her eyes and walked over to you.
"You wanna stay over tonight?" She asks, rubbing at the back of her neck nervously.
"I'd love to, let's go." You walked out to your car and began driving to her house.
As she sat in the passenger seat, Abby felt relaxed. You were like a breath of fresh air for her. Nothing like him. She wished she'd just asked you out all that time ago. Maybe you would've said yes. But maybe not.
Once you got to her house, she announced that her parents weren't home. Something that might seem taboo, but really it just meant you'd raid their liquor cabinet. You'd each take a shot of vodka and scrunch your noses in disgust before sharing a beer, then another. Before Abby had the chance to offer a third, you suggested a movie and popcorn instead.
She threw some in the microwave then came to join you on the couch. You moved closer to her when she sat down, then your eyes scanned the room for the remote. It was on the side table next to Abby, so you leaned over her lap and rested your hand on the armrest to grab it. She took the chance to ogle at your ass, and your entire body really.
You stumbled back with a giggle as you fell onto her strong thighs, your chest pressing against them. Her breath hitched at the feeling of you, more specifically how the fat of your tits squished against her. Thank God the microwave beeped so she had an excuse to pull you up by your arms and get up. Surely there'd been a wet patch on her boxers by now. She felt sick.
Abby returned with a large bowl of popcorn and some chocolate as well. You gasped happily and thanked her as she set it down on the coffee table. She didn't bother asking what you wanted to watch, figuring you'll probably fall asleep anyways. She settled on a horror-comedy.
You grabbed the popcorn from the table and put it into her lap, taking a handful every now and then as you also ate some of the chocolate. Eventually you were full and now just rested your head on her shoulder, one of your hand wrapped around her forearm and the other just sat on your own thigh.
Her breath hitched whenever you'd move a bit and your hair would tickle her neck. She'd been this close to you before, so why was she acting like some horny teenage boy all of a sudden? She moved forward to set the nearly empty bowl of popcorn on the table and you sat beside her normally now.
"Can I lay my head in your lap?" You whispered, looking over at her as she sat back with some chocolate.
"Yeah.." She nodded, this was definitely a bad idea but how could she say no to you.
You smiled and moved so your feet tucked up on the couch and your cheek pressed against her thigh. You kept your hand rested on your stomach. Abby let out a quiet groan, then immediately focused on the TV as to not seem suspicious. You didn't notice anyways.
A few minutes later, you looked up at her with a goofy smile to point out that one of her favorite actors was on screen. Then you noticed she had some chocolate smudged at the corner of her lip. Without thinking, you sat up and leaned into her. One of your hands held her shoulder for stability as the other came to her cheek and your thumb swiped at the corner of her lip.
You could feel it wetten slightly as you weren't the most coordinated and the tip accidently slipped between her lips. She froze, until she didn't. Before you could even remind her she had a boyfriend, her lips were on yours and she was pulling you into her lap.
But all you could think was that this didn't mean anything good. You were both tipsy, maybe she didn't even mean it. Maybe she just did it because she knew she could. Your insecurities got the best of you and instead of continuing the sloppy kisses Abby pulled away as she felt your tears falling onto her own face.
"Oh god.. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to- are you okay?" She apologizes, thinking you didn't want to kiss her.
"Yeah.. no. I just- why are you even kissing me? You have a boyfriend Abby." She blushed.
"I don't care about him." She sighed, resting her forehead against yours and holding your face in her hands while simultaneously wiping at your tears.
"Y/n.. I've wanted you forever. Long before I even met that asshole. I just thought I never had a chance but lately, I thought maybe I did." She explains and you felt so many different things.
I mean you believed her, you really did. And you really wanted to kiss her again, you wanted to do more than kiss her. You smiled, kissing her cheek softly.
"Abby. Of course you have a chance, you always had a chance." You whisper.
After you made out on the couch some more, during which she grabbed your ass quite a bit and let her strong hands run across your body. It wasn't long before she was carrying you into her bedroom and laying you down.
Now she kissed down your body, looking up at you as she pushed at your shirt. You took it off and let out small moans when she started to kiss at and grope your tits. How was she so good at this? Your hands found their way to her hair, tugging at her tight braid and causing her to let out a groan and crack a smile.
As Abby kissed down to your waistline, she looked up at you. You bit your lip and motioned for her to come up closer. She did so, her arms caging you in on either side and loose strands of her hair tickling your face. You leaned up to whisper in her ear.
"I wanna show you first.. wanna show you how good I'll make you feel.." You wanted to sound strong, but your voice was whiny and needy.
Abby didn't seem to care though because her breath hitched and she nodded quickly, laying down beside you.
"Please. Show me.." She whispered, looking over at you.
First your lips traveled from her own, down to her jaw and neck. Then her collarbones. And you swore you could've come just from the sight of her topless. You spent quite some time on her tits, which was mostly self indulgent but she still enjoyed it. Finally you kissed down her sternum all the way to her lower belly.
She couldn't believe the sight of you when you looked up at her with your chin resting on her clothed heat. Your fingertips rested at the waistband of her cargo pants and she nodded. You unbuttoned them and pulled the zipper down agonizingly slow, she wad growing impatient as her hips unintentionally bucked up into your grip.
Once you removed her pants, her legs spread for you almost instantly. You groaned at the sight of the wet patch on her boxers, you couldn't help it as you moved forward to kiss it gently a few times.
"P-please.. take them off.." now she was the whiny one.
"I got you Abs.." You nod and remove her boxers, and it was definitely a sight to see.
Her slick had gathered all around her lips and if you focused enough you might be able to see her clit throb. You bit your lip as you ran your finger through her slick folds, then licked it clean.
"God you're so fuckin sexy.." You'd whisper before diving in.
Your lips wrapped around her clit and you flicked your tongue over it at a fast pace. She squirmed a bit at first, so you took hold of her thighs and kept them in place. Her moans were music to your ears, and when she'd moan your name, let's just say you could die happy.
Eventually you began to tease her hole with your middle finger, slipping it in and curling up in a way no one else ever could. She gasped when you added another finger and continued these movements.
"Shit, that feels so good.." She panted.
"Yeah?" You tease, removing your mouth from her but continuing to curl your fingers inside her, "I bet I fuck you better than him, don't I?" A rhetorical question of course.
"Yes!" She moaned loudly, just wanting you to suck at her clit again.
For the time being you but your thumb to it instead and rubbed tight circles.
"Say it." You whispered, looking up at her.
She looked so beautiful. Her eyes squeezed shut with pleasure and her lips glossy and fallen open. The way her eyebrows also creased made you want to eat her out forever.
"You fuck me bett-" She cut herself off with a loud moan as you hit thst sweet spot inside her, "so much better than him.." She finally whined.
Satisfied, you removed your thumb and began to suck at her clit again. Her moans grew louder and you could feel her clench around your fingers, she was close. She wanted to tell you, but she was too overwhelmed with pleasure to form a coherent sentence. That didn't matter though, because you knew.
When she did finally cum, it felt so amazing. Sure she'd finished on her own before, but never like this. She called out your name and her hand tangled in your hair as you didn't stop going.
"I already came.." She whispered to you, you looked up at her and pulled off her cunt for a moment.
"I know, how about one more for me?" You asked, she could see how some of her release glistened your chin and blushed.
"Mhmm.." She hummed and you kept going.
While it was supposed to be one more, it was really two. You wanted to go for another but the way Abby could barely catch her breath had you finally letting her rest. Carefully, you moved up beside her and laid your head on her bare chest. One of your hands stroked her thigh gently as her legs still trembled a bit from the third orgasm.
She put her arm around you and leaned her head against your own. You smiled then let out a small sigh as you sat up.
"Come on, you gotta pee." You spoke softly to her.
She just nodded and you walked to the bathroom with her, washing your hands in the sink as she did her business. After she was done you returned to her room and she changed into new boxers and an oversized t-shirt.
"What about you?" She'd whisper once the two of you settled back into bed, her arms wrapped around your back as you laid your body weight across her.
"Don't worry, you can take care of me next time." You whisper back as you nuzzled your face against her neck and brought one of your hands to rest on her chest.
She ran her fingers through your hair as you started to fall asleep. Then once she was sure you were out, she whispered.
"I love you." She let her own eyes fall shut and drifted off to sleep within minutes.
But you weren't asleep yet, you heard her. And all you could do was smile.
168 notes · View notes
inoreuct · 7 months
Note
zosan angst 👀 post whole cake island where zoro is mad for sanji not relying on him enough to help with his family drama. swears to become a better man for him. sanji thinks zoro is the ideal man (he’ll never tell him this though) and doesn’t have to deal with his family drama bc he can “solve it himself” they fight, their screams are heard by the whole ship who is all negatively effected by it. they come to the point of throwing punches (something sanji would never do outside of this intense monent). zoro grabs sanji by them shirt, gets sanji down on his knees, and is hitting him in the face. sanji stops hitting him back and breaks down crying, zoro sees this and stops being angry instantly.
“why can’t you just let me help you”, zoro wants to understand.
sanji’s sobs echo through the room his nose running with blood and tears, “ i never thought i was worthy of being saved.”
zoro’s eyes widen. sanji gasps out through tears, “im sorry”.
something breaks within zoro, he kneels to sanji’s level, and holds him tightly as he sobs into his neck
“i’m sorry too. you are worth more to me than you could ever think.”
zoro take’s sanji’s face into his rough calloused hands, wiping away the blood and tears, “let me me be there for you”.
i swear this prompt grabbed my brain cells and SPRINTED bcs this was slightly more than 1.6k words,,, thank you anon 🤭🤌🏼
Zoro catches a heel to the jaw, lets it whip his head to the side and rolls as he hits the deck. 
His blood is a metallic bloom in his mouth, rose-red as it splatters across the planks and drips from his chin. He’s half sure he just lost a tooth. He’s very sure he bit his tongue. 
He thinks he rather deserves this pain, even if he’s not exactly sure why.
It had started when they were back on the Sunny, after the whole shitshow on Whole Cake Island; Zoro had paced about the deck, strung tight as a tripwire, still itching with the urge to look over his shoulder and around the corners and unwilling to take his hand off Wado’s hilt.
He’d retreated to the men’s quarters alone, too wound up to seek out Sanji’s usual company as waited his turn for the shower and then scrubbed until his skin turned raw. He’d changed into clean clothes and lay down on his bed, put his hands behind his head, tried to breath in time with the gentle rocking of the ocean and found something still binding his lungs tight.
He was safe. They were safe. And yet, it had still felt like his skin was crawling. 
After tossing and turning for a good twenty minutes he’d given up trying to fall asleep and hauled himself out of bed, trudging to the galley for a glass (or a bottle, more like) of whatever liquor he could get his hands on. The ship had swayed as he’d grabbed a half-filled bottle of scotch, bumping the door shut properly with his hip because he knew Sanji was finicky about it.
He’d hesitated before going back to the shared cabin. His bed hadn’t been the only one empty, and there was cigarette smoke rising from the helm. 
Sanji had barely reacted when he’d settled beside the cook, elbows propped on the railing as he took a swig of his drink. It went down easy; everything Sanji had always did. Some nights Zoro found himself wishing for more of a burn if only to help him feel something. 
He’d eyed Sanji out of the edge of his vision, tongueing behind his canines as he noticed the way the cook’s hair was all over his face, more so than usual. Both his eyes— no, not his eyes, Zoro had realised. Both his eyebrows were covered—
And it had sunk in slowly, like a lead weight to the bottom of the ocean. 
“Why didn’t you tell me?” he’d muttered, half to the mouth of his bottle, and Sanji had sighed.
“What do you mean, marimo?”
“You know what I mean.”
And Sanji had. He’d tilted his head, taking in a bracing breath, lips pinched in something that was supposed to be a smile. “Not your battle to fight.”
“That’s bullshit and you know it,” Zoro had snarled, suddenly angry, and it made him dig his nails into the peeling paper label beneath his fingers. “You— We do this shit together, curly, that’s what we agreed—”
And Sanji had turned away silently, pushing off the railing and walking off to God knew where, and Zoro had grabbed his wrist before he’d realised what he was doing.
“Do you just not trust me?” he’d gritted, desperation sharpening his tongue, a little voice wailing in his head and sounding a bit too much like his younger self for his liking. 
Sanji had barked a laugh, burning his cigarette down to a stub in one long inhale. “Now that’s bullshit.”
“Then? What?” I’d do anything, is what he hadn’t said. Anything for you to let me in. Let me help. 
“It’s not your fight, alright? Just leave it.”
Zoro had wanted to scream, just a little. He’d been distantly aware that his grip was in danger of crushing the bottle but he hadn’t cared at all. Sanji had shoved him away when he hadn’t let the matter go (because how could he?), and he’d shoved back, and then it had escalated until they were fighting across the deck and now—
He snaps out of his head when Sanji screams, a ragged thing torn out of his chest, abandoning all reason to tackle him bodily to the ground. Zoro stumbles and hits the deck hard, pain flaring sharp as his elbow jams into the ground and a fist sinks into his gut. He’s snarling as he rolls them over, as he pins Sanji’s wrists to the ground and lets out a grunt when a kneecap catches him beneath the ribs.
“Why can’t you just stay out of it?!” Sanji yells, right in his face, hair a mess and eyes wilder than Zoro has ever seen up close.
He falters. Just for a moment, but it’s more than enough for Sanji to slip out of his grip and wriggle away, and the pit in his gut grows ever larger. “They hurt you! They were hurting you!” he roars, scrambling to his feet, and it rather feels like someone has a crushing hand wrapped around his heart.
“It doesn’t matter!” the cook cries, swinging a fist towards his face, and Zoro dodges. Sidesteps, slams a foot down behind Sanji’s kneecaps and slugs his knuckles across a pale cheek if only to snap Sanji out of whatever the fuck is going on, he raises his fist again and—
Freezes. Bile crawls up his throat as his heart sinks. Sanji’s eyes are wet, so blue they’re nearly glowing in the darkness, and Zoro is so, so tired. He vaguely registers the rest of the crew behind them and he angles his body to hide Sanji from view; he knows the cook would hate their nakama seeing him like this. The hand he has wrapped in Sanji’s collar loosens, falling away like fluttering paper, and he drops to his knees with a heavy thunk.
Sanji shudders, and Zoro feels sick. His — he doesn’t know what they are, but Sanji is his — cook’s cheekbone is already bruising, blooming purple-pink, and guilt sinks its claws into his stomach. “Why can’t you just let me help you?” he hears himself plead, breathless and choked, and Sanji smiles with blood across his teeth.
“Because I never thought I was worthy of being saved,” he whispers, looking down at his trembling hands. There are tears dripping off his chin now, luminous streaks down his face that suddenly looks haggard in the starlight. “And I never wanted you to see me like this.”
Zoro thinks he breaks. Shatters right apart like the bottle of scotch on the ground not far away from them, amber seeping sticky into the wood. He’d have to apologise to Franky later, he thinks a little wildly, throat tight and fingers numb as he reaches out to pull Sanji to him.
The cook goes slack like a puppet off strings, hiding his face in the crook of Zoro’s neck as he really starts to cry. Zoro sits back on his heels and takes his weight, cards a hand through his hair so that it doesn't stick because he knows that Sanji would make a fuss about it being all over his face later, and it’s these tiny, trivial things that wrench a hollow sound from his lungs. “There’s no such thing as it not being my fight, you hear me?” It comes out more watery that he likes, but the laugh-sob Sanji lets out tells him the message got across. “If it’s your fight, it’s my fight. I’m with you till the end no matter what happens.”
“It’s pathetic,” Sanji hiccups, shoulders hitching as he tries to get himself under control.
“No, it’s not.”
“I’m pa—”
“Don’t you dare finish that sentence,” Zoro hisses, at odds with the way he rubs a soothing palm over Sanji’s back. His knees are starting to hurt. He doesn’t care. “They hurt you. They put you through some fucked-up shit, cook, and then you had to go through it again. And you were strong enough to make it out but you— You could stand to give it a rest, alright?”
It’s times like this when he wishes he could be better with words, because Sanji looks a little like he might start crying all over again when Zoro takes a peek at his face. He presses his thumbs flat to wet skin, salt cooling in the night wind, dragging up along Sanji’s cheek as the cook sniffs. “Let me be there for you,” he rasps.
He feels like he’s been scraped raw from the inside out. Like someone had hollowed him out with a ladle and now his guts were spilling all across the deck. He doesn’t know how to describe the twisting in his chest when he thumbs rust-red iron away from Sanji’s bottom lip, regretfully cups the spill of colour spreading over the right side of his face. “Look at me?” he tries again, and Sanji does, fine lashes clumped with tears and inhale trembling. 
“I’m sorry,” he gasps, and Zoro is an open wound, raw and weeping as Sanji climbs into his lap and curls up into a ball. 
“You are worth so much. To the crew, to our friends—You’re worth more to me than you could ever know. So shut up and stop trying to deal with it alone,” he says in lieu of a reply, achingly quiet. He hopes it’s enough as Sanji digs lithe fingers into his shoulder. 
He welcomes the pain like an old friend. Bears it gladly, for if he could take all of Sanji’s he would. 
But he can’t— So he tries. Tries to be gentle, as much as he knows how, sits properly and folds his legs and rocks them back and forth because it helps Sanji’s breathing even out. Traces the spirals of his eyebrows and brushes his mouth over the bruise on his cheek, presses his silent apologies into skin.
Sanji’s spine bows beneath his hands, and the cook’s fingers are wound tight into the back of his shirt like it’s a lifeline. His pale hair tickles Zoro’s jaw, impossibly mussed and starting to curl with the sea air. Their crew is waiting. Worried, surely, but they can wait a little longer; Zoro will make it up to them.
For now, he thinks he and Sanji have earned this. 
fin.
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