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acourtofinkandpapyrus · 6 months

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A Flower With Petals of Flame*: Part eleven (Eris x Reader)

Warnings: Jealousy, angst, SMUT, lots of dirty talk, all the fun stuff.

Part ten Part twelve

Tag list: open

After finding another one of the dead souls come back to life, you and your old friend go to sneak out. Eris gets the wrong signals and well, He doesn’t like seeing another guy touching you.

Sam Cortland, one of my closest friends and the best assassin of all time.

In my opinion at least.

“How the hell are you here?” I dropped the magic I had been using to disguise me, yanking the mask off my face.

He shrugs. “I could ask you the same thing.” He said, pulling his hood down to reveal his face, unmarred and annoyed.

We all had kept scars of how we died in the afterlife, I had realized soon after I met Tamlin the scar around my neck was gone.

So were Sam’s.

“I actually died in this world. You, on the other hand, did not!” I whisper shout the last bit, remembering Azriel could be here any moment.

“We don’t have time for this. Come with me. You have that weird star thing, right?” I ask, shoving the mask back onto my face.

He nodded. “I found out-”

I cut him off. “No time. Big scary friend who doesn’t know I’m here coming who wants that thing you have right now.”

Pushing open the door, I look back to see Sam cursing under his breath as he makes his way over to me.

“Oh, and iron doesn’t work like it does in your world, so I suggest keeping that better hidden.” I comment as I step out with him in tow.

I stop quickly to grab a pair of boots from the guards.

I mean, we’re already stealing a priceless magical object, they won't mind a missing pair of boots, will they?

“Do you know how annoying you are? You’re worse than Celaena” He grumbled as he struggled to keep up.

I slow down and snort. “Didn’t you fall in love with her?”

“Fuck you.”

I snort again, using my magic to make myself look again like Erica. “Do you mind if I make you look like a faerie?” I ask, and he gives me a confused look.

“The humans and fae of this world don’t really mix. Like, at all. So if they see short, human you running around…”

He sighs. “Fine.”

Only moments later, he still looks like himself, but taller, sharper, pointed ears, the whole shabang.

There were no physical changes, and that made it all the more impressive that he was managing to walk more quietly than me, his footsteps almost silent.

That’s why we were able to hear the soft footsteps coming from another hall.

We both paused, and I did the first thing I could think of.

Pushing sam to the wall, I whispered, “Kiss me.”

We had been in situations like this before, and no matter how I teased him, we were both just friends.

But to anyone watching us at that moment as Sam flipped us around, kissing me deeply, no, they wouldn’t know any better.

The footsteps come to an awkward halt, and I open my eyes, giving Azriel a grin.

I had hoped he would continue onward, but he didn’t. He just stood there and watched as Sam pulled away, half turning and shooting a glare at Az.

“Move on asshole.” Sam snarled, pulling me closer to him.

And that’s When Eris rounds the corner, stopping right behind Azriel as he gaped at us. He quickly schooled his face into a chilly expression.

“You should keep a closer eye on your family, Eris.” Azriel says darkly, amusement lining his soft voice.�� After that he continues onward.

The irony in that statement is hilarious.

“And who is this Erica?” He says, his tone sharp.

Was he jealous?

His eyes met Sam’s, and Eris stiffened even more.

Oh shit. He was jealous.

I push Sam away, careful not to send him flying with my fae strength. “This is Sam, one of the other dead souls.”

Something Rhysand had said to me just came back to me. “Two of the three would try and kill us.”

The words ring through me, but I shake them off.

They must have been wrong.

Sam and I would never hurt them.

Eris had gotten closer to us and I hadn’t noticed. “So, who are you… Sam?”

I dropped both our illusions, and Eris seemed shocked as he saw Sam was a human.

A human that was not going to be pushed around.

“Oh. So you’re Eris.” He said with a slanted grin, and I was suddenly worried. “For how much Y/N talked about you, I thought you’d be… More impressive.” Sam said, brushing his shoulder against Eris as he passed him.

“I’m staying in the forest nearby Y/N. You know how to find me.” He said, winking at me where Eris couldn’t see before rounding the corner.

Eris just stood there, torn between shock and fury.

I snorted, and his gaze shifted to me, just as intense, but it was different, not angry.

“Something funny pet?” He asked, grabbing my hips and pulling me to him.

I clenched my thighs in an attempt to relieve the sudden ache I had between my legs.

We stand there for a moment, and I wonder if I should pull away.

He didn’t need another mess to deal with, he didn’t need to be dragged into the shitstorm that was my life, or my death.

Before I can do anything though, his mouth meets mine, his tongue exploring mine as our teeth clash.

He pushes me against the wall as he uses one hand to drag my dress up to expose my thigh, the other moving to my head to tilt my head back so he could kiss my neck, his teeth scraping ever so slightly against my sensitive skin.

I whimpered as his hand traced patterns on my thigh. “Eris-” I said, sounding more needy than I meant. “Anyone could see us.”

He growled into my skin, and I yelped as we were suddenly in a room, him carrying me as I wrap my legs around his waist. Feeling his hardness through his pants and squirming, he breathed into my ear, making me shiver, “Desperate, aren’t you pet?”

I rolled my eyes, preparing to say something snarky, but he moved one of his hands to tilt my chin down to look at him, the other arm still holding me up.

“Tell me. Tell me you want me.” He whispers, looking up at me with something more than just lust.

“I…” My throat closes up as I look at my closest friend.

I can’t speak, so instead I thread my fingers through his hair and lean down, biting his bottom lip softly and squeezing my legs tighter around him, almost moaning at his aroused scent and the way his member pressed in between my legs.

He lays me on the bed softly, grinning at my sounds of disappointment as he pulls away.

Only to kneel before the edge of the bed, grabbing my legs and yanking me to him.

I moan as his tongue darts out, flicking my clit in a sinfully skilled way.

Letting out little moans, my hips rolled as I tried to make him do more. “Eris!” I shouted, my hips bucking as he slipped two fingers into my sopping cunt.

I moaned as I let myself go, bringing my hands up to toy with breasts, pinches my nipples as he nipped at my clit, forcing me to let out harsh pants of pleasure.

“Eris, I’m gonna cum.” I pant, moaning as he released my clit with a resounding pop.

He looked up at me with lust filled eyes, licking my arousal from his lips. “Do you want to cum on my cock pet?”

I moaned, nodding, and his fingers dug into my thighs, causing me to whimper. “Words pet.”

“Yes Eris, I wanna cum on your long, thick, cock.” I said in the most seductive way possible, and a shiver of pleasure went up my spine as he groaned.

He crawled onto the bed, his eyes predatory as he caged me in with his arms, leaning down to kiss me deeply.

I moaned into his mouth as he pushed in gently, slowly.

Too slow.

I pulled away from his lips, growling, about to speak when he suddenly pushed the rest of the way in, making me moan loudly as his mouth closed around one of my breasts, one of his hands taking care of the other.

As I got closer, I moaned, “Eris- gonna cum-”

His other hand slid between us, finding my clit and pressing down in time with his thrusts.

Seconds later I fell over the edge with a scream of pleasure, my arms wrapping tightly around Eris as he moved us so we were both upright.

My head had fallen back in bliss, almost cumming again as his hot cum spurted into me, leaving both of us panting.

“It’s been a long time since we did that.” Eris commented, nuzzling into my neck a bit.

Normally, I would feel more relaxed after this, but that old ache started in my heart again.

I had thought maybe after a couple hundred years away, the pull wouldn’t be so strong but…

He had made it clear long ago that he didn’t want me. And even if he did now, it was too dangerous for him. For me.

This was just a friends with benefits situation.

I try not to let it bother me, letting him drag me down to cuddle in the bed for a little bit.

And I let him, because what harm is it in imagining, just for a tiny while, that we could be more?

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maximillien · 1 year

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Dates with our three men.

Because I've seen @elychee 's tags a lot and honestly I'm thirsty too.

Here are my headcannons:

Cale Henituse:

- I'd really see him as an introverted date kinda guy

- like maybe cuddling and reading together (reading TOGETHER, like sharing a book, ugh imagine having a signal for him so he can turn the page, like tapping his arm, whilst you're both snuggled up in some big comfy throw)

- otherwise it would be at a festival or a comfy restaurant.

- he'd definitely have some type of magic on him to alter his appearance (and on you too if you've done stuff like him in public and are known for it)

- in either dates there'll be eating so snacks or food are a must

- he's rich asf so if you're at the festival or restaurant, he's paying (except if you have dirty money (*somehow steals a golden plate from alberu to pay for bae's meal*)

- a listener. Loves listening to you talk. He might look disinterested to others, but you can tell he is indeed listening.

- if you're out for a date and he sees you staring at something will offer to get it for u

- if you're at home you'll both fall asleep on each other, book long forgotten, as the kids surround you and whisper between themselves before snuggling in with you both.

Choi Han

- omg I love him

- come here boy

- anywho I definitely DEFINITELY hc a festival date.

- especially if it's similar to a Korean night market, for nostalgia, he's going.

- If there are plushies to win and you want one, you'd best bet you're getting them

- very good at physical games (cmon he's a swordsman)

- will win anything you want at the stands. People are staring and trying to hide their stands, whilst his clueless ass is walking around asking where you want to go next.

- has eyes only for you, my god. He's either getting nostalgic staring at the stands or he's staring at you (he's doing the latter like 90% of the time)

- hold his hand and he'll blush but he won't pull away, he'll just become tomato Han

- again, like a Cale a listener, except he'll perk up whenever you go quiet since you think he isn't listening, and ask for you to continue, or he'll squeeze your hand (and give you this excited puppy look. He has eyes only for you)

- very soft

- eating skewers together whilst walking around and enjoying the festival

- if there's fireworks after you bet your ass he's gonna try and find a nice place to see them from

- (very cheesy) kiss him whilst the fireworks go off

- you'll upgrade from tomato Han to tomato soup Han (since he'll have melted on the floor)

-overall an outdoor soft festival date

Alberu Crossman

- here he is

- ugh sexyman. Get over here. Get in my bed.

- honestly he's very busy so dates are few and far between

- but it'd probably be a calm picnic somewhere quiet, where people don't usually go

- you'd say that the both of you should cook together

- he's so up for it. He's waited his whole life to flaunt his cooking skil-

- an attempt at cooking was made. Some hc him to be good at cooking, but honestly I don't think he would totally get it.

- he's not as bad as Choi Han at cooking, but he's not on Cale's level.

- so yeah, you're mainly making the sandwhiches, but he is participating, wether it be trying to get stuff for you or making filling (per your instructions)

- (ugh imagine making cookies and he wipes some flour or batter on your nose and smiles so brightly whilst chuckling- no. I need to stop. I need to stop)

- putting all your stuff in a basket and setting off (please, him in a loose poet's shirt, you know THAT 'pathetic artist' shirt)

- I think you guys would talk about everything and anything (you're both bashing Cale bc of his chaos and the resulting workload.)

- it's a really relaxing and peaceful date

- if you'll allow him, he'll put his head on your lap (xtra bonus: you play with his hair and he guns appreciatively, completely relaxing into your lap) and he'll gently appreciate the wind and you.

- I think it'd be pretty quiet, but if you're talkative go for it, he'll actively participate in Convo or he'll silently listen to you.

- if you stop taking he'll open one eye and nudge your thigh with his hand to continue

- husband material.

- very domestic and soft

- let's hope Cale doesn't overthrow another kingdom whilst y'all are out

a/n: Ely, this is for u I saw your tags and honestly your mutual thirst for Alberu is completely relatable

#trash of the count's family #tcf x reader #cale henituse x reader #choi han x reader #alberu crossman x reader #cale henituse #choi han #alberu crossman

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goldenguillotines · 11 months

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A few things going forward- and I try not to make stuff like this but I feel like it's necessary not only to kinda. Put boundaries down but also for my comfort as well. This isn't sparked by one person but rather multiple occurances and just. Wanna be transparent, because I do have feelings. Gg isn't always super happy go getter energy silly everyone sees me as. I know some people don't really care and that's fine I just want to be clear (pls read tags as well)

I'm going to be selective with who I ship my characters/plot my characters with. I don't mind characters being friends and such but I have been feeling like I've been given mixed signals from people I've reached out to or during talking about them? It makes it hard to tell if I'm just on some one Sided eager excited and the other person isn't digging it. Or that plots get dropped and suddenly im seeing what we were planning or brainstorming thrown away because I wasn't told they were doing something with someone else. I need to explicitly say, I don't mind when plots cross, but if were planning a quad. Most of my characters are monogamous or specifically only open to polycules or occasionally fully polyam. I try to keep it single ship because of bad expierences in the past and my own comfort with how I interact with my characters. Hard to be super chipper excited about it when it brings up bad personal memories myself. I kinda put a piece of myself in every character so trust me when I say it makes me feel disjointed.

Just please be direct with me and tell me if you don't wanna! I hold these quads hostage basically with the idea of a ship that gets dragged on when I wanna do stuff! Again- I know I get excited and wanna do stuff!! Brand new blorbo syndrome!! You can just say no! I won't be mad! I promise. I won't be upset! Or just give me clarity that a quad is shifted. When I'm given no clarity at all- It makes me feel really bad. Again this is not about anyone in particular and imbkot trying to vague anyone but understand this has happened from different people

My commissions are gonna be semi-closed going forward. I don't have the time for it and frankly I'm not sure where I am art wise.

I am putting this blog on a semi Hiatus. Kinda smacking it with that sticker because I haven't really been producing art that i enjoy. Everyone can say "I love gg art" and all that but it's like looking at a mess I made on my canvas and just wondering where I went wrong. It's very very upsetting for me when art is my outlet, I do it to be happy! I like making! I really do. But I feel like stranger with it. My skills have stagnated and it hurts me a lot. The only thing I've felt like that hasn't been bad has been my chibis and I know people don't want to see those all the time. I'm kinda trying to work through it but it hurts. I'm a human, I have feelings. I try not to put my emotions too online or my problems because I think a lot of people here use Tumblr to escape like I do. I try to be positive! I wanna keep things happy and light but I can't always be like that

I wanna also mention I have been trying to keep up with everyone's happenings and stuff but I am awake about 12~14 hours a day working or having my responsibilities. I am tired. So if you haven't seen me in your notifications a lot or when you do, I seem deflated. I don't have a lot of energy to spare and I try to catch stuff here and there. But I won't be able to see everything. it's not that I'm avoiding anyone's content or something like that. I just. Have a physical job.

#long #negative (?)#Im not vauging anyone this isnt from anything like recent i jsut think memefurvur made some good points #that i felt like making something for my own. Because it made me realize i should say something rsther than like #pussyfoot it or ignore how i feel.#I kinda feel like a stranger recently and it feels bad. //shrugs// idk anyways im gonna go have my emotions for a while #I wont delete this one but know itd not anything i want to speak and repeat

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trackdntraild · 2 months

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yo!! i'm kieran (im 20 wsg), im gay and boyflux (he/they) and cringe culture is dead, so i'm gonna be cringe on main!!!!! this post is way too FUCKING long so feel free to read this introduction and leave it at that idrc i wrote this for me anyways (/hj), anyways feel free to look at my pronouns page if you want some other misc info abt me

yes i format my page like a 15 year old so what i like never mentally recovered past middle school anyways, and no i will not stop changing my pinned post you can't make me!!!!!!! (this will be the last time i swear, i just got really autistic at 8 am)

i post books under the pen name alvin viana so uh thats nice

im really fucking annoying just a heads up, i also swear a lot. i can store so much autism and adhd in my brain it's a miracle that i even function!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and i use tone indicators too much

by the way fuck the algorithm tumblr can suck my dick

if you want to you can send me asks about any of the fandoms im into or ships i like just be wary about sending spoiler content (like endings or other paths) unless i've explicitly posted about it before

i'm not gonna bother listing all my ships bc a lot of them are pretty obvious just bc of these post dividers (saiou is a comfort ship of mine, could you tell?) but feel free to send me other ships (i will judge you harshly for them /j)

so moving on, some of my fandoms include: sonic, danganronpa, stardew valley, cotl, fnaf, vocaloid/sekai, warrior cats, pokemon, genshin impact/honkai: star rail (sorta hi3 too?), ninjago, cookie run, promare, my little pony, aphmau, yttd, undertale, space leaper, food fantasy, afterl!fe, mystic messenger

anyways below the cut is some extra misc info you can look at if you want to, mostly just links and other random shit nobody gives a fuck abt (except for me bc im just like that)

yes im a kinnie no i don't care about doubles no i won't tell you my full kin list i'll just randomly drop the fact i kin characters sometimes

if you want a few of the characters i personally idenify with the main ones are kieran from pokemon s/v and freminet from genshin impact (call me kiki and im stabbing you by the way /hj)

some of my other major kins include albedo, wanderer, herrscher of sentience, arlan, kagamine len, ivypool, starlight glimmer, kokichi ouma, and lio fotia

i kin more characters those are just the main ones, i'm the worst combination of all your least favourite character tropes!!!!

feel free to ask me about my kins if you want, or ask what kin shift im in idrc, i dont kin shift that much anymore but sometimes i do

i do edits and moodboards sometimes??? i guess?? sometimes i'll make icons or whatever, sometimes i do fancy dividers, hell did you guys know im an artist i do that sometimes too, occasionally i do sprite edits if i feel like it but i'm not that good at replicating artstyles so shrugs, mainly just do ur classic 2018 tumblr edits here

so uh if you want some icons or whatever the fuck else i listed

✨ Feel Free To Send Requests ✨

i don't have much of a blacklist other than don't be weird about ships (so no pr*sh*p stuff) and don't ask for nsfw/gorey stuff

but i do edits pretty rarely so don't expect a lot from me lmaooo

for some reason i also made tags for some of my bs ramblings so stuff usually tagged with .txt is miscellaneous bullshit i post (ocasionally some of my posts are funny, i think)

some, but not all of them, may include: legendary post archive.txt, the brainrot.txt, random.txt, art.txt, psa.txt, save.txt, asks.txt, fave.txt signal boost.txt, promo.txt, random.txt, textingronpa.txt

most of my personal ramblings go under random.txt but occasionally i add other stuff, so if the tumblr search function allows you to peruse the tags go ahead idrc if you do

a lot of my posts are LONG POSTS, so if you don't wanna see long posts please blacklist the 'long post tw' tag bc that's what i normally tag them as!!! yes, i mean it, ill post them a lot

hey i have a shit ton of ✨ social media ✨ and ✨ miscellaneous bullshit websites ✨ if you wanna check em out, idk why you'd wanna do that tho all my cringeposting is already here

BLUESKY || TOYHOU.SE || MY OFFICIAL WEBSITE REDBUBBLE || FANDOM WIKIA || TWITCH || AO3 SQW || WATTPAD || DEVIANTART || ARTFIGHT COMICFURY || MAIN YOUTUBE || GAMEJOLT PATREON || POKEFARM || FANDOM YOUTUBE

i've got some accs i'm only leaving up to ward off impersonators so i'm not linking them here but if you want to know what they are idrc if you just ask me through the askbox or whatever

#pinned post #YES I MADE ANOTHER ONE SHUT UP #random.txt #I STARTED TO HATE THE OLD ONE REALLY BADLY

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wild-karrde · 2 years

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Welcome to the first ever FANDOM FRIDAY!

(I know it's Monday, but I want to start getting the recs coming in. Will start posting on Friday.)

The goal: provide a place where people can shoutout their favorite creators from the week, whether it's a piece of fan art that made you smile or a fanfic that moved you. Drop a link to your favorite creations this week into my ask box along with what you loved about it, and I will give them a shout! It doesn't have to be Star Wars either! If it's on another website (AO3, Twitter, etc.), please be sure to state that as well.

I plan to do this every week, so don't feel like you've got to get out everything in one week. Just keep track of them throughout the week or send me an ask whenever you find something, and I'll drop them all on Fridays (or throughout the weekend if I get a lot).

Rules:

In your ask, please include the creator's handle, a link to their work/post, and what you loved about it! Also

NSFW is alright! Just make sure you note it in the ask so I can flag appropriately! Since I'm including 18+ material, minors may not participate.

No incest, underage, cl*necest, master/padawan (or similar power dynamics), non-con/rape. There are a few others that I also won't share due to my discomfort with them (i.e., Rexsoka), so if you're not sure, ask.

Try to avoid commentary in your ask that might make others feel bad ("the only person who knows how to write XXX correctly..."). It's important to be able to appreciate creators without making others feel bad, so let's try to keep the commentary complimentary without being off-putting for other creators.

*Rules may change as I figure things out, so always double-check them

In addition to sending me asks, I highly encourage you to go either leave a comment on and/or reblog someone's work (tag me or use the #Fandom Friday tag if you do!). Let's get the interaction back up on this website and show the creators that work so hard on their stuff some love!

Tagging a few people in case they want to help signal boost (no pressure whatsoever): @teletraan-meets-jarvis @misogirl828 @book-of-baba-fett @moonstrider9904 @thebitchformerlyknownaskenobi @seriowan @zoeykallus @rain-on-kamino

#fandom friday #fanart #fanfic #star wars #the clone wars #tcw #the bad batch #tbb #the book of boba fett #the mandalorian #kenobi #marvel #mcu #umbrella academy #tlovm #the legend of vox machina #could tag fandoms for days #so hopefully this reaches the right audience

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lostlovepunk · 1 year

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Ich habe 8.148 Mal im Jahr 2022 etwas gepostet

Das sind 401 more posts als 2021!

402 Einträge erstellt (5%)

7.746 Einträge gerebloggt (95%)

Blogs, die ich am häufigsten gerebloggt habe:

@mordcore

@klavierpanda

@liquidlikecats

@tesco-brand-aromantics

@twice-as-many-stars

Ich habe 1.851 meiner Einträge im Jahr 2022 getaggt

#undescribed – 540 Einträge

#alex' quatsch – 238 Einträge

#ask games – 30 Einträge

#goncharov – 21 Einträge

#thanks for the ask :) – 17 Einträge

#:3 – 17 Einträge

#unreality – 16 Einträge

#/lh – 15 Einträge

#thanks for the ask! – 14 Einträge

#me – 13 Einträge

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Meine Top-Einträge im Jahr 2022:

day one of cat sitting. i have already taken more than ten photos of the beast.

92 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 18. Juli 2022

i dont quite get the post about ace/aro being separated. like.. biromantic and bisexual are two different orientations but they arent separated often when talking about bi people, why should ace/aro be separated specifically? (asking for genuine answers im just a little confused. i do think they are separate but i dont get the anger against them being grouped since they are similar and related)

basically, a lot of the time, alloaros and non-sam aros are just ignored in aspec conversations, and a lot of people in the queer community who are neither of those (alloallos, alloaces and aroaces) just assume that someone who signals being aro has to be ace, and even aroaces who prioritize their aro identity are ignored in what is prioritized by others.

what is additionally annoying is a problem with sex negativity in the ace community. this is not to say all aces are sex negative or shame people for having sex, but on one hand, i have seen not that few aces who have an attitude of "sex is yucky and i am better than people who experience sexual attraction" and also "aces are automatically wholesome people because we don't want to do anything sexual" (which also has a whole other problems regarding sex favourability).

so being automatically grouped with aces is very annoying for most non-ace aros. we have a lot of similar fights and i think a united aspec community is important, but it's also important not to forget that the there are non-ace aros, and i have nearly never seen us mentioned in general pride stuff seperately from aces

110 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 29. Juli 2022

i am virtually hugging all the aros who are touch starved right now (and like being hugged of course). you are so lovely, the world is lucky to have you 💚

414 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 25. April 2022

guys guys guys you won't believe it! i actually managed to recover the music for katya's and goncharov's final dance! unfortunately the recording is pretty low quality but i'll see if i can maybe get a better one soon!

442 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 22. November 2022

Meine #1 des Jahres 2022

pet peeve of mine: people writing aros/aces as one category when listing multiple categories, for example "queer includes (among other identities) gay, lesbian, bi, trans, inter and aro/ace people". these are two separate identities. it's nice that aspec people are included but i had soo many people come up to me at pride with ace stuff while i was only indicating to be aro, and i really wish people would start to see aromanticism as its own orientation

1.257 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 29. Juli 2022

Hol dir deinen Tumblr-Jahresrückblick 2022 →

#tumblr2022 #Jahresrückblick #Mein Tumblr-Jahresrückblick 2022 #Dein Tumblr-Jahresrückblick #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #can't fucking get this thing to work in english so german will have to do #anyways i live for the :3 tag being in the top 5

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the-firebird69 · 6 months

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Terrible's Hotel & Casino - Wikipedia

I went in on this and it's Meghan Markle and Brad and bja Trump does too and Trump has a lot of Western stuff it's not a bad idea the casino is still up it's empty and it's to crap it it's decrepit it's probably no good but he says that you take certain elements and you preserve them and you use the new facility or you restore them and it's something that people will do and if we get an agreement we're going to go ahead and probably start doing it now we're starting to see the purpose here and it's not really saying it you go to Vegas and you preserve these casinos and stuff and they were ours these are ours our places it said like this aah places and that's how we say it and we go out there and I guess they run around saying we built the city on rock and roll they're telling us not to take the signs and not to preserve it and not to cover it with carbs or to do anything to it and they said conceal and just putting it on the roof so we must get an agreement of some kind we jump the gun and he says we probably jump the gun because we're trying to preserve stuff but you want to leave it in place because it won't be fought over if you just leave it there and we do understand that it won't be fought over there as much and it won't be pride out of someone's cold dead hands either used as a threat etc and he's trying to preserve our history we got that from the moulin rouge he said that one's going to be kind of tough and we see the sign and everybody looked at it and it's okay but this is a big idea this is a big casino and almost all of us had interest in it and it was big back then it's small now and Reno says they want it it says but it's part of Vegas so they say it should stay in Vegas and we say we're not going to relocate it it's decrepit and they say okay the components should and probably but that's probably not how it's going to go The Aladdin was a nice place the new one is just a run of the mill boring place and there's nothing there just regular gaming.

I'm in on this one

Meghan Markle says. And it's still me and we have others who want to sign on so I'm making a list and I know you didn't think about it but I did and it says that's a go on that one and Thor and Freya want to and it's a great idea they made them feel fear about this place and about the West and they want to see how it works and don't know why they're doing it and they want to see it happen to them so right out of his mouth he does paintball or the new laser tag and it's outdoors and it can see and it signals that paintball is more fun and the wild west movie is pretty far away it's not what happens so they like it and we're going to go ahead and try and get that going it's a terrific idea is to try and get the signs and he wants these signs as the ones that go up there because it'll be like the wild West it's a good sign and the terrible's are like a hangover but it happened and your whole body has sepsis is septic shock and it happens in the desert it's kind of an odd thing to do a lot of people are looking at this is a threat but on the sun right now that's my husband so we're going to look at trying to salvage the sign and move it and to purchase the place and the land and we're going to see if we can get away with it but he wants to buy the sign so have something so I think we might get a consortium together to buy the sign together to relocate it up there and that would be the kickoff and mac daddy wants in in pen Arnold and they're talking about beer and arguing they only had a couple brands nails like the soda name and the other was probably not Old Milwaukee no not Colt 45 it was Miller and yeah way back when he likes the first one it's not exactly that name but it's close and there's a small brewery that's still opened and he wants to stock that with that but that whole place is closed and it's really well off the beaten path so we are going to look at the building cuz he says it might be a good headquarters to meet at and get together a consortium even the max on building the New Vegas even though they'll be opposed and they said well that's great what can we bring and said how about a bar cuz they come fully stocked and set up and everything and they're laughing saying that's terrific and they be drinking at your bar you don't want it but they see it they don't want it but they see it so we're going to go ahead and try and do this and these guys like it they know who the owners are and they're into the consortium and Brad is going to go find the destroyed building and some other people might catch up with him and it's a great idea and we're going ahead with it now and we're going to try and put a sign up there so people get it

Hera

We approve all these ideas and we're going to have a meeting about it in a moment

Olympus

If you want to go now it's probably the way to do it he says and we agree with it too

I've been saying this the whole time it won't work with us just building it and it's kind of dangerous and risky obnoxious everybody wants to do it but we don't think we can this way is better and they're going to talk about stuff and today and they're going to go to Vegas and get an earful this is perfect and what he did with the stratus with me and Brad and our spouse all of them it's just unimaginably fun for us this is great and he loves that place he says no it's the Aladdin and I got that but bja is the one going nuts over the stratus and he likes the idea of the restaurant so he's asking about the cables and the piston and the track crawlers and he's seen them the elevators you just have several along the perimeter of the inside and you could hide them on the inside of the building too on the outside and being a few three or four and then three or four in the inner ring and you would have because it's heavy cables and it's totally redundant and you also have to track on the outside and inside and the track system works by itself but it also double as a break so he's actually seeing this pretty smart you don't want any accidents they can also be a manual break where it goes so fast and it starts to stop on the rails and he likes that too but we're going to use some spaceship tech in the spaceship and he likes that it says I can do it and get him out there and fly off with them sort of and it's kind of really this dream they all have and once against the top you can probably spin it it would kind of be tough with the cables and but that's something to think about itself and you can spin it on the inside of itself and that's how you can do it we will do that that's a good idea so just imagine kingsley's face up there in the place starts spinning if you're looking at you he'd be looking out if you look back at you he'd be looking out and start whimpering then you'd like it and he'd run around the place looking at each spot then he'd say I can sit here and I can see it all without running around and then he go running around. This is the most fun I've ever had he knows the dog should be right behind him trying to figure out why he's doing this craziness he's worried about why they're doing it so he says that then he says no I'm just playing and they think of our son it's a great idea we're going to get going on it now

Thor Freya

This is huge with us this idea it was our casino more or less we owned it for a long time and we renovated and we kept it going and it'll be a money maker his crazy ideas are awesome they have a couple of those really cool you can see each other and one on top of the hotel it's not okay because some people won't want to go up in it it's like the needle and it is insanity what he's talking about doing is so much fun I can't resist it and to build it strong with big trusses is also nice we're going to have to engineer it and have an engineered in the two big fellows that needed and we got to find Bill but boy this is going to be fun I'm going down there to preserve history and the sign person is having a hell of a time and they need help and we want to put a sign up north and check the status of the buildings first at the it's not tremors it's another word for it though and the terrors or something yeah. Now it's going to be a good time because we're going to move a sign up there and it's going to be us in a consortium it's the best way to do it it's going to be a huge casino complex massive and bigger than anything and entertainment too people can go there for just the entertainment and resorts it's going to be like nothing we've ever seen we're going to get going on it now

Bja

I can't believe they took the Aladdin down it's a magical place and the magical way of being just to be there and I do understand what he's saying I can Pakistan they have the pool it's going to be like that I like up at the newspaper guy's house and really it's going to be magical these kind of people combined with this place is going to be really really awesome and us and that's one reason why I was so cool is because it was ornate and it had stuff in there like that but this will be more like the Bellagio and the whole place would be like it and it'll be magical I can't wait this is going to be fun and we'll have shows too like Aladdin and there's a play and it's just really a lot of fun

Brad

Yeah nobody would guess who's that kind of a fan of that genre but here he is

Becka

We're getting this ready and we're going to start doing it shortly

Olympus

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sycorpse · 3 years

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So, I’ve been around in the fandom for several months and I used to have several popular posts on my main that I deleted when Jack made a comment about shipping Corpsekkuno. I felt weird about it, but I miss having a place to put my Corpsekkuno thoughts so I decided to made a whole new blog. I’m starting with reuploading my most popular idea, so some of you guys might remember this! I am still super proud of this and other than refreshing a little bit of it, this is still the original thing I posted back Nov 2020.

As my bio says, THIS IS ALL FICTIONAL. CORPSE AND SYKKUNO ARE JUST FRIENDS IN REAL LIFE AND IF YOU THINK OTHERWISE THIS IS NOT A SPACE FOR YOU. I have no tolerance for people thinking, “Oh, these two celebs are secretly dating.” It is an invasion of their privacy and disrespectful to their wonderful friendship. I definitely believe you can ship without shipping them IRL, that’s how Kpop was for me and thousands of others.

Anyhow, this first post was made back when Logic, Rae, and others were teasing Corpse about E-Girls but the chorus was also giving me AU ideas, the whole “Choke me like you hate me when you love me/Lowkey wanna date me when you fuck me” and him saying he’s not the right one to wait on screams friends with benefits that wants more and I just have an idea.

Corpse and Sykkuno FWB with unspoken feelings AU. Non Youtubers AU, maybe make it be a flower shop/tattoo artist AU where their shops are on the same block, just on different ends. Jack is a mutual friend and introduces them when Corpse moves into his shop and there’s feelings there from the get go. Sykkuno is attracted to Corpse’s voice and warm chuckles that goes against his all black except for silver rings look. Corpse adores how Sykkuno stumbles over his words and blushes and giggles, and finds Sykkuno endlessly endearing.

Somehow, Corpse becomes friends with Sykkuno’s group(Toast, Rae, Leslie, Tina, etc.) and Corpse is open about his shitty life. Anxiety, medical issues, a runaway father, extended family who makes it clear he’s the black sheep of the family, girls who dated him just for sex, but dropped him when they realized his baggage. And Sykkuno hates them all, for how they treated Corpse, who deserves nothing but love and gentleness. His warmth is barely hidden behind his dark clothes. He wants to be loved, wants to love, Sykkuno can see it like a beacon in the darkness. And he knows Corpse wants it with him.

And Sykkuno never thought he’d be in a friends with benefits relationship, but he also knows that Corpse doesn’t think he deserves love. Deserves the traditional relationship Sykkuno has sworn by. He knows Corpse needs time to be shown that he’ll stay when everyone else has left him. It’ll take time, and somehow(Read: I still need to come up with it), they fall into bed together and become friends with benefits.

At first, it’s in the dark or in the dim lamp light. Corpse doesn’t take off his face mask except for when he’s between Sykkuno’s legs, where Sykkuno can’t see his face. The sex is rougher that Sykkuno is used to, more vanilla than what Corpse is used to, but they meet in the middle. Their biggest shared kink is dirty talk, Sykkuno loves hearing filth in Corpse’s deep voice. Corpse loves hearing well-mannered Sykkuno who never even swears turn vulgar and knowing it’s because of how well Corpse is fucking him is even better.

But then one night, in the pitch dark, Corpse asks if he can kiss Sykkuno. Sykkuno is confused, because Corpse doesn’t kiss, it’s too intimate for him with his facial insecurities. Corpse repeats himself, and Sykkuno agrees, and is shocked when lips press against his. And after a month of sex without kissing, the kiss is intoxicating. They start kissing all the time. In windowless rooms in their shops on lunch. Corpse has every light turned off in his apartment before Sykkuno arrives so they can kiss right away, they can’t get enough of each other’s lips.

One evening, they’re just chilling in the living room, on their phones, when Corpse says he wants to show Sykkuno his face, and Sykkuno agrees. He can sense the nerves radiating off of Corpse and is proud that they got to that point. He knows how huge this is, and he’s patient as Corpse works up the nerve. And when Corpse takes off his mask, he’s shocked at the way Sykkuno looks at him. With reverence, likes his face is the most beautiful thing Sykkuno has ever seen, like he’s the most precious thing to Sykkuno. With Corpse’s permission, Sykkuno touches his face, touches like a feather like he’s made out of a porcelain that will crumble if he touches too hard(And he is porcelain. And Sykkuno knows it and knows how to not push too much, but lets Corpse decide the pace of their relationship). It’s one of the most powerful moments in Corpse’s life and some part of him knows that Sykkuno is the real thing. The one who won’t leave. And Sykkuno is so in love, so honored that Corpse trusts him.

After that night, things change. They spend nights eating takeout and talking, going out for walks, flirting at the cafe in between their shops. They go see movies, have inside jokes. Sykkuno doesn’t judge him when Corpse’s anxiety spikes and he wears a mask even when it’s just the two of them. His arms are a safe place that eases anxiety and insecurities. Corpse listens to Sykkuno talk about flowers and how he fell out with his parents a bit when he decided to go full time at the flower shop instead of using his math degree. They’re less friends with benefits and more dating without a label.

Nine months into their arrangement, Corpse’s illnesses/pain is flaring up. He lets Sykkuno see him in pain-vulnerable. And then he has to go to some family function and the next time Sykkuno sees him, it’s clear his anxiety is extremely high. Sykkuno knows all his tells. That week is very tense, and one night, Corpse picks a fight. Yells over something trivial. It’s unlike him, but thankfully Sykkuno knows what this is. Corpse is daring Sykkuno to leave, to be like everyone else who left. It’s a test. So he stays calm. Refuses to get off the couch when Corpse tells him to leave. Corpse goes to wash dishes, and comes back shy, embarrassed by his actions, Sykkuno just opens his arms and Corpse runs into them, cries. He’s fearful and in pain-physically and emotionally. He feels powerless. But he has Sykkuno. He can’t doubt him anymore. Sykkuno will stay, and will love him through every rough patch.

Sykkuno is by his side at doctor’s appointments, gives his opinions on the options Corpse is presented with, and in the end, they decide on a slightly risky surgery. A few nights before the surgery, Sykkuno confesses to his unspoken feelings. They both know them, but they’ve never said it. He doesn’t want Corpse to go into surgery without making things official between them. So, he confesses to being in love with Corpse-that he’s loved him for months now- and asks him out. It is the easiest decision of Corpse’s life. Yes. Yes, he wants to make things official. Yes, he loves Sykkuno too. And he trusts Sykkuno.

And they live not happily ever after, but with each other through sickness and in health. Through anxiety flare ups and arguments with family. Through periods where it feels like they spend more time in doctor’s offices and hospitals than in their home. Through sunlit mornings in bed and warm chuckles and breathless giggles and their first dance as husbands. Their relationship wasn’t the traditional one Sykkuno swore by, but it’s the one that lasts through the decades until they die.

#Corpse Husband #Sykkuno #Corpsekkuno #I was so proud of this back then #I still am #I just want a place to bounce ideas too #And maybe no one will care #And maybe some people will #And maybe I will get some hate #I won't tag them on a lot of stuff but I want to like signal boost #Because this was my most popular post ever #And if people want to find this again I want them too #to #Ugh #Am I a hyprocrite?#Maybe #But who cares #Do what makes you happy

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cowcowwow · 2 years

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Hello!! I'm Cow, or Cow Cow! :D My blog (for now gfh) will mostly be RWBY, Miraculous Ladybug, and Pokemon stuff with some Owl House and Amphibia and maybe some Arcane!

:D I love talkin' to people; never be afraid to start a conversation with me! I swear I don't bite <33 /gen

There may be times where I'm not posting/responding due to school, drops in mental/physical health, or not being quite caught up on shows yet :0 (usually it's because my wrist is flaring up dgdvv)

More information about me/how I tag under the cut 💖

How I tag:

Cow Talks: that'll be for when I'm just talkin' :>

Gray: my Twin's name!! <33 They used to not have a tumblr but they would look at my blog so I would tag them in things that I want them to see/remind me of them!! Now I continue doing it to be sillay :3

Cow Draws: for my art!

Cow Writes: this won't happen very often probably, but this is for my writing :D

Boost!!: for when I signal boost things. This is usually for promoting awesome artists/blogs!!

Reblog Game: for the fun reblogging things like "Reblog and say what color this blog is"

Reblog Bait: I'll do my best to not reblog incredibly reblog bait things (I know how stressful those can be), but this will be for smaller/lighter things like "reblog to give this person a hug"

Additional things:

-I tend to be very nervous/anxious, so please be gentle with me fgdf

-Almost all my art is reblogged to @cowcowdobedrawin !! Anything that isn't is probably on @ask-team-donum (my pokemon story askblog/comic :3)

-you never have to respond to me if I talk to you in any way 💖 I know many things can come up/it may just be stressful to craft a response/many other reasons, so please know that I'm totally fine with you never responding to me

-I either use the blue heart emoji when something means a lot to me, or it fits the vibe of the post :D It never means I'm sad though

-I will tag spoilers up to a week after the episode/movie airs. So be careful! <3 /gen

Okey, that's it for introduction for now! I hope you enjoy your stay on my blog 💙 Have an amazing day/night!!!

#Cow Talks #Main takeaway from under the cut #is that you never have to stress about responding to me #I'm totally fine with no response /gen #Hope y'all have a great day/night/afternoon 💖#!!#:D #Introduction to my blog #Cow Draws #Cow Writes #Gray #<- putting some of my tags there so it's easier to find them :DD #brother tag #frogman

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sanctus-pyri · 2 years

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⋆｡༄⋆˚⊹

⁀➷ more abt me!! melro/marsh, they/he + neos, 15 yo, white + portuguese pt-eu/eng + learning french (among other things)

.*+☆° main fandoms : grishaverse books (special interest), the magnus archives/the magnus protocol, interview with the vampire (i am very anti anne rice though), yellowjackets, doctor who music : bauhaus, the crane wives, paramore, lush, now now/now now every children, holy fawn, dead man's bones, wolf alice, florence + the machine, hozier, the sisters of mercy, rosegarden funeral party, ferry, mitski, julie, gregory and the hawk, molchat doma, the cramps, cocteau twins, joy division, bat nouveau, scary bitches, candy claws, lemon demon, cranes, x-ray spex, depeche mode, lebanon hanover, radiohead, chappell roan, olivia rodrigo, cloudeater, cosmo sheldrake, the last dinner party, babymetal kins (soft def) : frances janvier, laios touden, fereshteh "angel" rahimi, jesper fahey, wylan van eck, luz noceda, marcy wu, gwen poole, sydney novak

⤹ sideblogs: @saintsaturniidae (aesthetic), @sanctuspyri (art)

⁀➷ open cut for more info

FASCISTS, TERFS, PROSHIPPERS, ETC. FUCK OFF!!!

⤹ i am super multifandom and i'm too lazy to make a sideblog for all of my interests so you're just gonna have to deal with me talking about a new thing every once in a while on here

⤹ if i know you irl i am BLOCKING YOU!!! LEAVE!!! also not an irl but margaret fuck off you know who you are (i know this won't stop you i just think it's funny)

⤹ if i ever do something you think might be problematic just send me an ask or dm and i'll do whatever i can to fix that!

⤹ i'm not really the best at reading tone, so i would appreciate if you sometimes used tone indicators when talking to me :) i also have rsd and general anxiety, so i might think you hate me sometimes lol

⤹ since i'm in the grishaverse fandom i wanted to note that i really don't like the SaB show, and i will occasionally talk/reblog things about it. if you're super attached to it this is probably not the blog for you.

⤹ i occasionally make kms jokes.

⤹ i block ppl a lot sorry (i'm a firm believer in protecting my peace! you're probably safe if we're mutuals dw)

⤹ i go through and delete old reblogs a lot, just so i don't clutter my blog. sorry if you were looking for something and can't find it, it's probably because of that. (i especially delete like awareness posts and stuff like that. i mostly just reblog them to signal boost and not have on my blog like all the other stuff)

TAGGING SYSTEM:

⤹ "#melro talks" for my text posts, "#marsh art" or "#my art" for... my art, obviously... but i also have my art archive sideblog for easier viewing :)

⤹ if i'm reblogging something that needs a content warning i tag it with "#cw [thing]" (for example: "#cw f slur", "#cw trypophobia", "#cw racism", etc.)

⤹ i tag almost all my posts with basic tags like "text", "images", etc. and a fandom tag if it applies. i'm an eye avatar and have chronic archiving disease /j

⤹ i forget to tag spoilers, blood, artistic nudity, and other such things a LOT sorry

⤹ i don't tag bugs and just any animals at all

DO NOT FOLLOW:

(i know these lists don't work but i just like leaving this stuff known)

⤹ hard nsfw accounts. i don't have anything against you guys, i'm just a minor and would rather not have straight up porn blogs following me lol. if you draw or rb occasional (soft) nsfw that's fine as long as you tag it.

⤹ you're one of those people who force their beliefs onto other people. for example atheists who constantly post/reblog things shitting on religious people, or christians who constantly comment "jesus saves" on stuff (nothing against christians as a whole!! you guys are cool, it's just an example i see a lot)

⤹ if you're over 20-ish you can follow me, i would just rather you not interact very closely with me

⤹ you knowingly support problematic people

⤹ i'd also rather not have people who support mspec lesbians following me

⤹ cryptobros and ai "artists" leave please 🙏🙏

#pinned

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aaronstveit · 2 years

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hey! im new to tumblr and see a lot of people that have "tracking tags" in their bios. could you maybe explain what this is? because it seems like something super useful if i can figure out how to do it! thanks lovely <3

hi anon, welcome to tumblr!! i can definitely help you out 💖 essentially, a tracked tag is a unique hashtag that people can add to their original posts so that you will see them. in my bio, it says #userjamie. that means that when people are posting gifs, edits, writing, or anything they'd like me to signal boost for them, they can use that tag and it will show up when i search #userjamie. typically, people will check their tracked day once a day or every few days. it's an easy way to support other people's original content! you can 'follow' your tag as well, but you won't get notifications when new posts are added to the tag, so you still have to search the tag to see new posts within it.

to search a tag, you type it into the search bar and click where it says "Go to #[tag]"

this will bring up every original post tagged with that specific tag. you can choose between seeing Recent and Top (or most popular) posts. on the side of the page, it will give you the option to "follow" that tag. it will also show you other tags that are often used along with the tag you're searching for.

now, on the side of your dash, it will show you your "followed" tags. if there have been new posts in that tag that you haven't seen yet, it will appear with a number beside the tag.

tracked tags are commonly formatted as #username, #tusername, or #usernames (with 'name' being replaced with your name, of course). some people will simply track their url or #userurl. you want to make sure that you use a tag nobody else uses, so things don't get confusing. for that reason, you should always search a tag before you choose it. if nothing comes up when you search it, then you're good to go! then you just add it to your bio and/or make an announcement so people know they can tag you in their stuff <3

i hope this helps & isn't too confusing! if you have any other questions, just let me know!!! i hope you have a lovely day/evening💛

#thank you !!!#answered #love letters only💛#anonymous

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neil-neil-orange-peel · 3 years

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Hey! I was just wondering, what's your favourite Young Ones/Comic Strip/anything Rik and Ade have done fanfics? Got any recommendations? Doesn't matter the genre, anything goes! Thanks! :)

Hi, anon!

Ooh fanfics, one of my favourite bits of fandom! I'll rattle off some recommendations for you... Although, there are actually a few fics I've been meaning to read for a while and haven't got round to yet... 😅 But here we go!

*Most of these are probably going to be for The Young Ones, purely because there are more TYO fics than there are fics for Rik and Ade's other stuff.*

Alright, first allow me to signal boost my mutuals:

•I know I mention them a lot but anything by EvilEd or frankenbolt is good stuff™.

We call Ed the Queen of Angst because she's a soulless demon who feasts on tears she wrote a fuckton of usually very angsty TYO fic. The big two I often mention are Closets (and the second Closets, which is unfinished), as well as Drop Dead Frederick (which is a TYO/DDF crossover). Closets actually features a lot of Rik and Ade's other characters, such as Bottom's Richie and Eddie, the boys of Bad News and Alan B'Stard. Like I said, these are angst trains so trigger warning for a whole host of dark themes (check the tags). Both also feature the Rivyan pairing, as does most TYO fic with a relationship involved, so heads up for that if it's not your thing. I won't say too much about either of them plotwise... Only that they're both set after TYO (as in, after the events of Summer Holiday).

As well as these, Ed wrote another angsty fic called Another Brick in the Wall, which fans of Pink Floyd will enjoy. Believe it or not, you will find TYO fluff on her ao3 too - like A Very Pratty Christmas - but the main theme is angst. 😂

As for Frank. Well, what can I say? I once stayed up until 5am just to finish one of her fics (Rick is very jealous of me). I'm constantly gushing about Three Times Dead, which is a DDF/Beetlejuice crossover fic, because it's amazing. There are little cameos from... Certain people... And if you're only there for the DDF side, you don't need to worry about not knowing any Beetlejuice lore as it all makes sense. In fact, you'll probably learn something. The Fred in TTD is actually a mashup of Fred and another of Rik's characters, although I won't spoil it and say who. It's a NSFW ooer fic and Lizzie's perspective (importantly, the woman's perspective) during these scenes is just very well written. There's also a little naughty sidefic for TTD, Living with an Invisible Boyfriend.

Frank has quite a few crossover fics featuring Rik and Ade's various characters, including A Very Pratt-Basterd Christmas, Following and One Thing Leads to Another. That last one was my fault. 😂 It's quite dark and NSFW but Rick's character development is satisfying to see unfold. Other niche stuff? Run Away (From Happily Ever Afters) is about Rik Mayall Presents Dancing Queen and Playing Nurse and Intern is about Shock Treatment. Want more smut? Retribution is a rewrite of a scene towards the end of s2e1 of The New Statesman, Talk Dirty to Me is a "there was only one bed" fic for Vim and Colin and Remember my Name is an alternative ending to Drop Dead Fred.

Oh! And she's got an unfinished TYO fic called Me tienes que decir. I think it was one of the first TYO fics I ever read. It's set after Summer Holiday too and is about Rick doing a bit of growing up. Rivyan is eventually planned, though whether or not we get more I think it's worth reading... Along with everything else on her page. 😂

•On the Drop Dead Fred side of things, zombierose3 has written lots of excellent fic. Surprise Ever After introduced the idea - one way or another - of Dizzie Lizzie. It's super cute! I'd also recommend Love Sick Fred. The truth is that I still need to read Dark Lullaby (which is written by zombierose3 and unleashthewords), although I've heard good things and it looks great. And long! Which is perfect.

•We are all very lucky because ColourShot has written lots of sweet stuff for different Rik and Ade shows. There's some for TYO, Bottom, FR&C and Bad News. Notable fics include Not another party, please! because Mike fic is always appreciated and it's a good exploration of him having anxiety. As well as that, there's the very rude and angsty fic Any other day, where Bottom's Eddie is without Richie. This made me cry a little because apparently I do that for horrible, smelly men. 😂 Would you still like me? is about the so very obviously closeted Vim from Bad News trying to come out to his band mates and Forgive Me? is about Rivyan being idiots and almost ruining Valentine's Day. Both deserve buckets of comments and kudos.

I've also got to mention the couple of longer TYO fics he has brewing. Sunshine Superman is incredibly dark (trigger warning for suicide) but I think it's going to let him explore the characters' personalities in an interesting way... Hope that sounds vague enough 😂 I wouldn't want to spoil it. And - last but not least - Oh, Cliff! is a fic with a great premise: Rick finds out that they're all going to die. What will he do? What can he do? Trigger warning for a pretty strong opening chapter, injuries wise.

•HeyMcRaely has some shorts that capture the off-kilter feel of TYO very well. They quite often feature P (the fandom name for the fifth housemate) as well. Check out Our House for a few of them.

•GlitteringKitten has a TYO series that currently has two fics in it (Bonds and Aftermath). I'm in the process of very slowly rereading them because it's been a while but I can promise you that they're both fantastic. A third part is potentially on the way, but I'd recommend this for any Rivyan shippers regardless.

•Starryeyedrichie has some underappreciated fic. Lentils and liminal spaces explores Vyvyan's less than stellar childhood whilst An idiot in love is about Eddie reading a note from Richie that leads to something, for example.

•Recently, SchmillionPizza has been writing a TNS series with a female OC (Amelia Chesterfield). It's dark and smutty and, c'mon, you know you're at least curious. 👀

More generally?

Check out palegingerade's TYO fics. Because there are a lot and they're awesome. Although I haven't yet read it, MercuryStarlight's Love & Mobsters TYO series is sort of legend in scumbag circles. 😂 As I've mentioned another time, there's also the TYO cancer fic, What Doesn't Kill You (the author is no longer happy with it, which is why I haven't linked it). That's obviously extremely angsty so beware. The third oldest TYO fic on ao3 (apparently written on 18th December 2006) is called The Mostly-Secret Diary of Rick and is a prequel to the show and very good. It captures his voice well. There's a completed DDF sequel fic from last year called I'll Run Away With You that I've read part of and am enjoying.

Ah. And I've been meaning to read The Young Ones Versus The Zombie Apocalypse for ages and will one day get round to it! It warns readers of character death but I know people who have read it and liked it so I think it's worth the emotional torture. OH! And The Young Monsters (also available on Tumblr) by @ace-beef is fab! You've gotta love monster AUs. We seem to have all silently agreed that Rick would be a vampire and Vyvyan a werewolf. 😂

Sorry that was a little chaotic! There are other fics I could mention but, to be honest, we'd be here all day. 😂 I hope this helped a little and happy reading!

Thanks for the ask!

#asks #anon #fanfic #the young ones #tyo #rivyan #drop dead fred #bbc bottom #bad news #the comic strip presents #the new statesman #look at me fawning over everyone like a hopeless case 😂#i am so sorry 😂#i'm also sorry for giving such a long answer

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verobatto · 4 years

Text

Destiel Chronicles

Vol. LV

It was a love story from the very beginning.

The Monster At Your Door

(10x04/10x09/10x10/10x11)

Hello my dear fandom! This is another meta from my Destiel Chronicles.

I want to say thank you to my friend @agusvedder , she made the gifs for this analysis, thank you girl!

And thanks to @destielle for editing this!

This season doesn't have a lot of Destiel in it and was mostly Dean-centric.

So you will see me talking about how our hunter perceives himself as a monster.

Brothers and Sisters

In episode 10x04 ‘Paper Moon’ we saw Kate and her sister, two female werewolves, as mirrors of Sam and Dean.

Kate, the one who was trying to save her sister (Sam), and the little one Tasha, becoming a real monster (Dean).

After getting to know about Tasha and Kate's story, and Kate trying desperately to get her sister back, the Winchesters decide to help her. But there was a little piece of dialogue between Sam and Dean that caught my attention…

SAM: Right, but how can you possibly blame Kate for fighting for her sister? We do it all the time.

DEAN: Well, yeah, and that's worked wonders for us.

The ultimate effort to save Dean Winchester at the end of the season will cause a huge cosmic consequence we all know: Amara. So, this quote here that could be read as very Winchester like is kind of a premonition of what is about to come next season.

And then, this scene… it points us at how Dean is really feeling inside.

KATE: But she can be saved!

DEAN: [blunt, but in despair] No. Tasha's in too deep. You don't ever come back from that, not ever.

How disturbingly painful it must be for Sam knowing his brother is losing faith in winning his battle against the mark.

There’s another interesting dialogue, now between the two sisters, where we can dissect the foreshadowing of Sam trying to get through to Dean in the last episode of this season.

KATE [pleading] T., I can help you get better.

TASHA [sneering evilly] Oh, I am better. And smarter and stronger… and awesome. I'm a freakin' superhero.

KATE Who kills innocent people? No, that's not you. You were a good kid.

So, Sam will try to save the innocent and good side of his brother, with all his power.

Because even if Dean perceives himself as a monster that can't be saved, Sam will always try to convince him otherwise. Just like Castiel…

You are a role model

Episode 10x09 ‘The Things We Left Behind’ is a beautiful episode that talks about GUILT. Not just Dean's guilt (we all know about that one, right?) But also Castiel's GUILT and his REGRETS.

Castiel visits Claire Novak, because he knows he hurt her a lot by possessing her father. So he tries to help her. But, because his PEOPLE TALKING SKILLS are ‘rusty’, he’s not able to communicate it the right way. So he helps her to escape instead.

In the middle of this episode we have this cute scene:

Dean watching TV, reflecting that innocent side I was talking about first, and Sam staring at him with sadness in his eyes, being worried about the mark. This situation points out their priorities.

Back to Castiel and Claire. There’s a very meaningful scene in which Cas talks about his experience as a human and what he has learned in that time…

CLAIRE: You’ve changed. The Castiel I met? He was crappy. Like super stuck-up and a dick and you just wanted to punch him in his stupid angel face.

CASTIEL: I don’t think I was THAT bad.

CLAIRE: You totally were. And now you’re just … I don’t know. Nicer. And kind of a doof. No offense.

CASTIEL: Yes, well, um… Before, I was very self-assured. I was convinced I was on this righteous path. Now I realize that there is no righteous path. It’s just people trying to do their best in a world where it’s far too easy to do your worst.

This is amazing because Castiel is shouting out the important insights he has gained from being a human. This is character development at it’s best. Cas is not the same Castiel that possessed Claire's dad. She says he is nicer. Castiel has changed, for good. But the guilt of taking her family away from this girl is eating him up inside.

And it’s the same thing that eats Dean up inside as well.

Dean sees an opportunity to stay alone with Castiel on kind of a date with him. Both of them sitting in front of their burgers. We know Cas doesn't have to eat. So the scene is very cute and comfy.

The question whether or not ketchup is a vegetable and Dean answering Hell yes is demonstrating that Claire and the hunter are very alike.

This date is also a chance to put back the dot on the I again. Because… remember Cas and his ‘female in the car’? Well… our hunter needed to reinforce his ownership over the angel.

But mostly… the guilt needs to be put on the table:

DEAN: (...) All right, so spill. What’s with the family reunion?

CASTIEL: I don’t know. I’ve just been … thinking about people.

[Dean glances around, then switches their plates, taking Cas’ burger and setting his empty plate in front of Cas.]

Okay, pause here, sorry but this is extremely cute… and Dean looking around like an innocent kid, it’s such a beautiful scene that I adore.

CASTIEL: No problem. I’ve helped some, but I’ve … I’ve hurt some.

DEAN: So you’re having a midlife crisis.

CASTIEL: Well, I’m extremely old. I think I’m entitled.

It’s so amazing each time Castiel reminds us he is an ancient creature that decided to spend his days with us…

DEAN: Cas, listen to me. There’s some stuff you just got to let go. Okay? The people you let down, the ones you can’t save … You got to forget about them. For your own good.

CASTIEL: Is that what you do?

Okay, here Dean is sensing Cas is feeling guilty, a territory he knows very well, so he tries to help him and give him advice, an advice Dean doesn't follow himself. And Castiel knows that too well. Because he can read Dean Winchester like a book. And we all know he won't let go Charlie's death.

And then… this jewel…

Dean is not used to receiving compliments. But Castiel is always calling him nice things. Because Cas sees the good in him, he knows DEAN IS SPECIAL. So Dean, Cas’ TFW teacher, is a role model for him. Of course he is.

Look at Dean's flustered face, he has to avoid Castiel's tender gaze because he is feeling awkward. It looks like a don't say things like that to me on our date, bro- face.

One of my fave scenes ever.

Let's go with another one…

As I said, Castiel reads Dean like a book. So he knows when Dean is lying. He just knows Dean is not feeling well. And again, Dean is… enraptured by this. By how well Cas knows him. Look at his face… if I was telepath, which I'm not (yet) I would say, Dean ponders whether kissing him or not in that moment. It’s like… stop flirting with me or I will kiss you, bro. He even checks out Cas and stares at his lips. Gah!

Then, coming back to reality… Dean needs to know if Cas will kill him bc he is terrified of becoming a monster again:

DEAN: If I do go dark side, you got to take me out.

CASTIEL: What do you mean?

DEAN: Knife me. Smite me. Throw me into the freakin’ sun, whatever. And don’t let Sam get in the way, because he’ll try. I can’t go down that road again, man. I can’t be that thing again.

Dean is asking something impossible for Cas to do. As we will find out in one of the last episodes from this season. Castiel would never hurt Dean, even if he goes dark side.

Two Faces

After Dean is losing control, turning into the monster he was so afraid of becoming, killing Randy and those gangsters… nothing will be the same anymore. This bloody scene is a premonition of the end of this season, when Dean will eliminate the whole Stein family.

Episode 10x10 starts with this image:

Cracks in the mirror which are reflecting how Dean is feeling inside: broken.

This is an episode where light and shadow play a big role in the visual narrative, we can see Dean's face divide in one half lit and the other half drowned in shadows. Those halfs represent his two faces, his inner fight between ‘our’ Dean and the monster brought by the mark.

This episode was directed by Misha, so when we see Cas telling Dean he’ll be sending emojis… that wasn't OOC, that was just Misha 🤣🤣🤣🤣.

Now, the important part of this episode is Claire trying to convince Dean to come by saying: ‘Castiel seemed to trust you, a lot’.

That was the signal for Dean. You drop Cas’ name, count Dean in!

But now let's jump to episode 10x11 because the game of the two faces is represented here again in the form of two Charlies, a good and an evil one. They are a metaphor for the way Dean feels inside, in fact the whole episode is a mirror of it.

The parallel between Dark!Charlie and Dean is blatant, because Dark!Charlie is seeking for revenge, just like Dean will after Charlie's death.

Charlie had to release her darkness to win a war, the same thing will happen to Dean. In order to win the war against a whole family (Stein) he will have to release the monster inside of him. At the end of the episode Dean and Dark!Charlie are having a fight, a fight between good friends as a foreshadowing of the Destiel fight in episode 10x22.

To conclude:

The monster inside Dean is on the threshold of being released. The episodes we were talking about showed us a lot of examples, mirrors of and parallels to that.

The symbolisms of two faces and broken mirrors were very interesting.

The synergy of light and darkness is also a foreshadowing for the next season with the appearance of God (light) and Amara (darkness).

The Destiel burger date was too cute, and Dean not knowing how to react to Castiel's compliments was even cuter. To Cas Dean will always be special and a role model, that's why he will be incapable of harming Dean in any way.

Hope you like this chronicle, see you in the next one!

Tagging @metafest @magnificent-winged-beast @emblue-sparks @weirddorkylittlediana @michyribeiro @whyjm @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @dea-stiel @poorreputation @bre95611 @thewolfathedoor @charlottemanchmal @neii3n @deathswaywardson @followyourenergy @dean-is-bi-till-i-die @hekatelilith-blog @avidbkwrm @anarchiana @dickpuncher365 @vampyrosa @foxyroxe-art @authorsararayne @anonymoustitans @mybonsai1976 @love-neve-dies @wildligia @dustythewind @wayward-winchester67 @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @deeutdutdutdoh @destiel-is--endgame @destiel-shipper-11 @larrem88 @charmedbycastiel @ran-savant @little-crazy-misha-minion @samoosetheshipper

@shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @mishtho @dancingtuesdaymorning @nerditoutwithbooks @mikennacac73 @justmeand-myinsight @idontwantpeopletoknowmyname @tenshilover20 @teddybeardoctor @pepevons @helevetica @isthisdestiel @dizzypinwheel @jawnlockwinchester @horsez2 @qanelyytha @imjustkipping

If you want to be added or removed from this list just let me know.

If you want to read the previous metas From season 10, these are the links...

LI, LII, LIII and LIV

Buenos Aires March 31 2020 10:03 PM

#destiel #destiel chronicles #destiel meta #Supernatural meta #season 10 meta #vol LV

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xxisxxisxxis · 4 years

Text

Gateway Drug | Part Fifty-Six

A/N: Hey, guys! I know it seems like we're never gonna get to the good stuff because I'm not moving as quickly through the story as usual (10 chapters usually = 1 year) but that's because there's A LOT that's happening in 1987 and I don't want to rush through it because it's all important to the build up. But thank you for being patient, I promise it will get to the drama very soon!

Also, I would just like to know what are some of your Gateway Drug unpopular opinions??? Just send me an ask (anonymous or not, doesn't matter to me) and let me know if you've got one💜

Words: 4k

Warning(s): explicit language, domestic abuse, mentions of drug abuse

Tag List: @unknownoblivion @sinningsixx @edwardtriggerhandzz @lemmyjelly @haileynicoleseavey17 @cierrasixx19 @oskea93 @mgkobsessed @vamprlestat @sharon6713 @itsametaphorbriansblog @miriampraez @allie-mcginn @xpoisonousrosesx @rebeccaphillips14 @nicholeh7 @fandomshit6000 @lilmou5ie @tamedhearts @divaanya @kingbouji3 @evrsncnewyork @6ixx6ixx @ratedrkohardychick91 @floregrohlssard @oldschoolimagineblog @thanks2pete @abaldboi @swoopygorl @justjodeye @liith-ium @caos18blog @ytwahsog @shamlessobsession @scarecrowmax @toadspleen @random-internet-user-4471 @solohqrry @loveofmyloif @sparxx27 @kaitieskidmore1 @cruecifymesixx @ijustwanttokiss70srogertaylor @emmaelizabeth2014 @meetthesixxter @sixxsixxsexx @sublimeprincesswasteland @arianareirg @girlnight-terror @mcnibberachi

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LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT TO BE TAGGED

After weeks of going back and forth over the Duff ordeal, Nikki and I had finally put it behind us.

Or so I thought.

I smile at my pastor as I take his extended hand for a second, the two of us exchanging "goodbye"s after service.

"Have a good week, Vivian." He tells me.

I open my mouth to reply but the loud sound of a Harley Davidson is causing he and I, and everyone waiting behind me to speak to him, and everyone already in the parking lot, to turn attention to the culprit.

Nikki stops at the curb on the street, arrogantly grinning at me and I nervously glance at my pastor.

"I-I'm gonna go. I'll see you next Sunday, good sermon." I assure him.

"See you then, Vivian." He replies, his eyes still on Nikki before I'm quickly making my way off the church's porch, my heels clicking against the pavement as I step to the street.

"Nikki, what are you doing here?" I ask him, and he looks at me over his shades.

"You gonna get on the bike or not?" He ignores me, chewing his gum, and I exhale.

"I'm wearing a dress." I state.

"I know, you look pretty." He looks me up and down.

"No, I mean I'm wearing a dress. I can't just straddle a bike at 55 miles per hour, Nikki. It'll be blowing over my head."

"Then take it off." He shrugs.

"Nikki."

"Babe, it's Los Angeles. Nobody cares if they see Vivian Sixx's panties." He brushes it off and I just stare at him, not wanting to tell him why that's still an issue.

His face shifts, his grin turns into a full-fledged smile, a boyish laugh flutters past his lips and he looks so, so amused.

"You're not wearing any?" He asks me, and I turn beet red, hitting at his arm with my hand.

"I couldn't. There was a panty line." I explain to him as discreetly as I can.

"You didn't wear panties to church?"

"Shh!" I cover his mouth with my hand for a second, glancing around.

It seems people are just staring because Nikki Sixx is in their parking lot.

I don't know if some of them even realize that he's attended a service here before.

"Well, lemme see." He enthusiastically let's out as he reaches for the hem of my dress that falls right about my knees and I swat his hand away, giving him a death glare. "You're dirty." He teases and I hug my Bible to me.

"Shut up."

He's suddenly dropping his switchblade from his pocket on purpose and it hits the ground.

"Oops. Wanna bend over and pick it up?" He asks me and I hit him again, causing him to laugh once again.

He reaches down and grabs it before patting the seat behind him.

"Viv, seriously, commando aside, get on. We have a hot date for brainstorming the video ideas for 'Girls, Girls, Girls'."

I look around again before just having to mentally say "screw it" and strategically get on without flashing anyone, making sure my dress lays between me and the seat.

Nikki and I give one last glance to the folks coming out of the church, looking at us, including the pastor.

Nikki offers a mischievous smile and a wave before crossing himself and I lightly hit his thigh while saying, "babe, quit, it's not a catholic church."

"Oh. Oops." He shrugs before taking off.

One thing about Harley Davidson, if you're sensitive to sensation, you will damn near be drowning yourself by the time the ride is over.

I scowl at Nikki as I take another paper towel and wipe myself clean as he leans against the door of the bathroom, chuckling at me.

"It's not funny. My dress is wet." I scold him.

"Well, it's not my fault your pot holds that much honey." He defends himself, trying to hold back more laughter.

I stare him down."Okay, I'm sorry. I'm being insensitive to your hyperactive pussy-juice glands." He let's out in a serious tone but he smirks when I look at him, again.

"Nikki."

"Shoulda worn panties, huh? Well, wouldn't have mattered that'd just be one more thing for you to gripe about leaking in."

"Keep talking and you won't get to dip your honey wand in the pot for very, very, long time." I threaten and he stops abruptly.

"Fine." He smartly says, rolling his eyes.

Once I get cleaned up, we're stepping into the studio just in time for Vince to sarcastically say:

"'Pussy. Everywhere. All kinds of pussy'."

As if he's mocking somebody.

"Stupid fucker." He adds, he, Tommy, Doc and Mick all turning to face us.

"I need to go back to church." I tell Nikki and he smiles, shaking his head a little.

"Hey, Viv." Vince greets me, looking me up and down, exaggerating the kiss of his teeth. "You look good today."

"Means a lot coming from someone who thinks groupies are the most beautiful women in the world." I say through a fake smile.

"Any woman with a good body and right equipment is the most beautiful woman in the world to me." He agrees, grinning.

"Swine."

"Dirty stripper."

"Strippers!" Tommy suddenly pipes and I look at him.

"Tommy, please, don't encourage him."

"No, for the video. Film it in a strip club." He suggests.

"Would that get played on television?" I ask.

"Fuck MTV. I'm down." Vince agrees with Tommy.

"Mick?" Tommy nudges at the guitar player, who shrugs.

"That's the whole point of the song, isn't it?" He says.

The three of them look to Nikki for final approval and Nikki looks at me, an evil genius smile pulling at the corners of his mouth.

"Under one condition."

The one condition being...

"Are you out of your mind?!" I say to Nikki when we get back home as he continues to try to convince me.

We had to go by and get my car from church and I thought we had settled it before we even left the studio but just as we met at our front door, he asked me about it, again.

"Viv, it's like a four minute song and you won't be but in a few clips of the video."

"I'm not playing the part of a stripper, Nikki! I'm not..." I try to think of the words to describe everything an exotic dancer has that I don't. "...I don't have it." Is the best I can use to explain it.

"What the hell does that even mean?"

"I don't know but I'm not comfortable prancing around in heels and lingerie, dancing for strangers in a club and millions of more on television." I state. "I'm not doing it."

"Well you heard Sharise when Vince called and asked her. She said 'yes'."

"I'm not her, Nikki. Sharise can pull it off because she's sexy and sensual and confident enough for it."

He looks at me like I've lost my last marble.

"Vivian, are you fucking kidding me? You don't think you're sexy?!"

"No, I'm not, now drop it." I tell him, stepping to our bedroom.

Firstly, glory to God and all the saints said "amen", secondly...you can find me dancing half naked several times in Mötley Crüe's infamous "Girls, Girls, Girls" music video.

"Baby, you're perfect. What the hell are you talking about?" He follows after me and I sigh.

"Of course you think that because we're together." I state, about to get a shower and change clothes.

"Viv, seriously." He grabs at my wrist to stop me from walking away, his hand gently running across my cheek. "I am married to the most beautiful, smart, funny, loving, sexy woman on the entire planet."

"Thank you for the ass kissing, but if it's in an effort to get me to be in the video, it's still a 'no'."

"I was just reminding you of those things." He tells me, smiling. "Can you at least think about doing the video?"

"Nope." I reply, pecking his lips before stepping to the shower.

There is no way in hell I'm going to be in that video.

I don't know how the hell we went from that day to this:

My blood boils.

I can tell Nikki's smirking, despite his back being turned to me in his seat as "Wild Side" starts to fade out, sounds of the street playing in the song signaling it's ending.

I've managed to keep from saying a word, hoping the song got better at some point...except it only got worse.

Vince, Tommy, Mick and Doc all wait for me to say something.

Anything.

Nikki finally turns to face me, smirk tugging at his lips, eyes fucked on heroin, and I see nothing but the devil looking at me.

"Well?" He asks me, leaned back, hand covering his lips to attempt to mask his pride in pissing me off.

"Typically when you ask someone to repeat a prayer that's important to their faith, you don't write a song that completely picks apart and disrespects--"

"--Oh, here we go." He grumbles, rolling his eyes.

"I'm sorry, did you expect to write bullshit like 'our Father who ain't in Heaven' and think I would be ok--"

"--I expected you to fucking support me--" He starts but I stop him.

"--Somebody's up there or else you wouldn't be alive!" I state, talking over him.

His laugh mocks me, only causing more tension to fill up the room, and I have to keep myself from going at him.

"I'm alive because I fucking want to be." He hisses.

"That's real bold of you to say, Nikki."

"Oh, is it? Because it pisses God, or whatever else imaginary friend you cry to, off?"

"Nikki." Doc states, knowing he's just trying to piss me off at this point.

"Fuck off, Doc." He barks. "I took a meaningless chant and turned it into something useful. I'm sorry if you're too closed minded to accept that, Vivian."

I don't say a word, grabbing my purse and stepping to the door as fast as I can, not wanting to argue over something he thinks is stupid to begin with. "It really sucks you don't like, especially since you're a credited co-writer on it." He states suddenly and this stops me in my tracks.

"I'm what?" I ask through my teeth.

"A credited co-writer. Meaning when the album is put out, your name will be listed as one of the writers of the song." He explains.

I spin around to face him and he's looking at me innocently.

I'm not angry with the song. I'm angry he knew it would upset me, and instead of giving me a warning or being honest with me about it, he's instead saying everything he can to further hurt me, and he's proud of himself for it.

"I thought you'd be happy with that...you know, early anniversary present?" He's wearing a smug smile.

"Nikki. How you're going about it is disrespectful to me." I try to tell him, calmly.

"So is lying to me about who you're hanging out with."

That does it.

I get one good punch in before everyone's in an uproar, trying to separate us.

Nikki's got a fistful of my hair, and I'm hitting Doc as hard as I can, trying to get him away from Nikki so I can better access the feral bastard.

Doc gets knocked out of the way, and Nikki's other hand grabs at my throat while I kick at him roughly, causing him to let me go and stumble back a few steps before I'm swinging on him again.

Doc blocks my hit and Tommy and Vince keep Nikki away from me.

"Let the little bitch go, I wanna fucking show her something!" Nikki threats angrily

"You've showed me enough of your bullshit the last four years that divorce is something I'm looking forward to!" I shout back.

"Psycho cunt!"

"Mommy Issued Junkie!" I bite back, causing him to try to get to me again, and causing me to fight against Doc once more.

"Stop it!" Doc yells over us.

"Fuck you!" Nikki and I exclaim at the same time.

His cheek is bright red from where I hit him, and my scalp is burning from how hard he tugged at my hair.

"Guys, c'mon." Tommy tells us as they try to get us to calm down.

"This is starting to get ridiculous." Vince adds.

"Fuck off, Vince!" Nikki snaps.

"Shut the fuck up, Nikki." Vince puts in just as I say, "don't fucking talk to him like that!" in defense of Vince.

"Oh, have you been lying to me about how much time you spend with him, too?!"

"How much time are you really spending with Vanity, Nikki?! I can easily turn this back around on you!" I point out.

Nikki, Vince, and Tommy all get awfully quiet, Nikki's nostrils flaring.

I know he's spending more time with her, except he's never lied to me about it, he just doesn't necessarily tell me when they hang out. And it's because he wants me to believe he's off crack, and if they hang out, they're doing drugs together.

"Get the fuck out." He demands.

"Gladly. Don't bother coming home tonight. Just stay out, shoot up with Robbin and smoke crack with Vanity. I'm fucking done." I sneer before grabbing my things and slamming the door behind me as I leave.

But I wasn't done.

I scrub at another glass, hearing the front door being unlocked, and Nikki's steps coming inside before the door shuts and I hear him give out a heavy sigh.

I don't acknowledge him when he steps into the kitchen to grab a paper bag from the fridge, turning on his heel before heading back to the door.

He gets outside and I hear the sound of his bike firing back up.

"Damn it, Viv." I breathe out to myself, feeling guilty for what all I said to him, and a small part of me hopes he feels guilty, too.

I finish the dishes and immediately call Robbin, praying he hasn't gone out to meet Nikki, yet.

I'm ready to hang up by the third ring, until I hear:

"Hello?"

"Robbin, hey, it's Viv." I tell him.

"Hey, babe, what're you up to?"

"Are you and Nikki hanging out tonight?" I ask him and he hesitates.

"We are..."

"Where at?"

"Jeez, I don't know, Viv. Probably start at the Cathouse, end up at a strip joint or something."

"He's pissed at me, Robbin."

"Yeah, he called me from the studio when you left."

"I told him not to come home tonight."

"...And he's not." He replies.

"No, he's not, but I want him to."

"Then tell him."

"He's not gonna listen to me." I argue.

"Then don't piss him off."

"Well, tell him not to piss me off."

"Then, you tell him."

"I've tried, he doesn't listen to me."

The line is silent for a second and I blink.

"Hello?"

"This is why I'm not married. Jesus Christ."

"Robbin, you're engaged, remember?" I remind him.

"No, no, this is why I'm not married to you. Laurie's not cra--" He stops himself abruptly and I raise my brows.

"What was that?"

"Uh, oh, wow I-I think I'm breaking up on you, Viv."

I can tell he's rustling his hand over the phone, giving the effect of static.

"Robbi--"

"--I'll talk to him, love you, bye, Viv."

He hangs up and I exhale.

Karen comes into the kitchen, wearing a cocktail dress and heels, her hair and makeup done.

"I'm going on a date." She tells me. "If I'm not back by 2:00am, call the cops. I've been murdered." She sternly says.

"Got it." I nod.

"We're going out on the strip." She adds. "Which is all bars, clubs and strippers, so pray for me."

"If you see Vince, don't let him talk to you. You'll be in the back of his limo before you even realize what hit you."

"Trust me, I know, I have mace specifically for 'Vince Repellent'." She assures me, touching up her lipstick. "Alright, I'll see you later."

"Okay, have fun." I offer to her.

Once she's gone, I'm arguing with myself internally as I glance at the clock, trying to decide if I should try to reconcile with Nikki or not.

He'll be junked out and still mean, it won't do any good.

The shitty part is that I've noticed he's started to take maintenance doses through out the day, especially before we go out somewhere.

It's been easy to decipher if he's sober or not by just suggesting we go somewhere as simple as the grocery store.

When he's sober, he can't spend more than two minutes in a room full of people--five minutes, max, if I make him stay longer than what he wants to.

But when he's got smack going through him, he acts like his normal, social self.

I asked Izzy about it a couple weeks ago and he said Nikki's probably reached the point where if he doesn't have even the smallest amount of heroin in his system ever so often, withdraw symptoms and the pain of the impact the drugs have on his body, will start up.

And as for the social aspect, he said he more than likely doesn't know how to function without heroin as his anxiety buffer anymore.

That's ever more sad because Nikki use to be perfectly fine socializing without anything in his system. But now he can't even go to the Rainbow to eat with the guys, or go on a date with me, without shooting up to calm himself down and if he over does it on his dose, he's either too out of it to be social anyway, or he's a fucking prick.

Which only means one thing in my mind: Nikki's the farthest into it he can get. The next step, if he doesn't stop it, is funeral planning.

I step to our bedroom, deciding I'll just leave him alone tonight.

He and Tommy leave in a couple days, with the guys mastering and mixing their album, to New York to finish off the process there.

Maybe he'll have an epiphany while he's gone for a handful of days and come back and apologize for being a dick to me the past few days...more like "past few years."

Oh, yeah. I better have many jewels on my crown when I get to heaven for not leaving the crazy bastard by now.

How can I leave him? He needs good, solid people around him that won't sugar coat shit to save his ego and his feelings.

He needs me, and lots of God, but I've never been one to force my beliefs onto him, and I'm not going to start now.

Lately he's let off that he despises God more now than he did when we dated.

Again, I personally think there are actual demons fucking with his head, using his addiction to sneak in and start lashing out through him.

Our house even feels like it's riddled with something evil.

Dark energy, demons, bad vibes, whatever you choose to call it, it hits you like a wave when you step foot in the house.

Something sick and demented has built its nest and with Nikki's incline in his use, whatever it is has made its point clear: it's not leaving until Nikki's dead.

On my way to the bathroom, I notice his journal on his nightstand. He usually keeps them hidden from me, but I know he's written in one since before we dated because I've seen him write in one, but I've rarely just seen one laying around.

He usually keeps them put up.

A lightbulb goes off in my mind as I stare at the book that contains a multitude of sins and secrets in his handwriting.

"No. That's wrong. It's an invasion of his trust and privacy." I little voice in my mind tells me.

"He doesn't talk to you about private things as much as you think he does. Don't you wanna know what he really does when you aren't around...or how he really feels about you?" An arguing voice counters.

"He hasn't given you any reason to not trust him."

"Ha! That you know of. Read the diary and you'll probably have a multitude of reasons not to trust him."

"He loves you. He cares about you. He wants you. If he didn't, he wouldn't take your shit, and if you didn't feel the same for him, you wouldn't take his. Why do you need to dig through his confidential, personal, thoughts and feelings?"

"You two are married. If your husband has confidential anything he's keeping from you, that's a red flag."

"Give him the basic respect, Vivian. Don't read it."

"Fuck respect. He called you a 'psycho cunt' earlier. You need to get to the bottom of why he calls you awful things when he's on junk. Oh, yeah, because he thinks those awful things about you when he's sober, he just doesn't give a voice to them until he can't control himself."

"He loves you. He doesn't think those things about you. He just says them to get a reaction out of you."

"I bet he's about to spring a divorce on you."

I squeeze my eyes closed.

"Shut up!" I yell, silencing the voices, taking a heavy breath.

Deciding not to read it, I just pick the diary up and open his night table drawer, placing it soundly inside before closing it shut.

What I would have ended up reading, had I decided to let my curiosity kill me:

March 23, 1987

Van Nuys

4:47am

Fuck. Early last night Vanity called the house looking for me. I forgot Viv was at home and when I let the machine take the call, Vanity was fucked up and was spewing out everything she wanted to do to me the next time she saw me. I've never moved that fast in my fucking life to answer a phone. Viv would've had a stroke if she heard Vanity describe the kind of blowjob I'd be getting from her, but thank god Viv was by the pool.

She's starting to wonder when exactly I'm leaving my wife. I just keep telling her after the tour is over. I don't even know when I told her I was leaving Viv but she claims I promised her I was going to so now I'm even further in the shithole.

I keep waiting for Vanity to drop the bomb about mine and her's antics to Vivian. Anytime we're all hanging out, I'm bracing for impact, along with Vince and Tommy, and Vanity knows it. She uses it to her fucking advantage.

I'll say I can't spend time with her because I want to stay home or want to have a night with Viv, and Vanity will say something like, "I wonder if you'd have a home to stay in if she knew the truth" or "oh, I forgot about Viv. Should I tell her you forget about her sometimes, too?"

I want to break things off because I know it'll destroy Viv if she finds out, and I really have no business having a full-blown affair, or even seeing anyone else, but I'm nervous that Vanity will spitefully let Viv know what's been going on.

I'm fucking tired. Tired of living, tired of wanting to die, tired of junk, tired of sobriety, tired of my mistress (if you would even call her that...in my mind she's just a chick that gets the job done when I'm out of my mind and my wife isn't around).

I swear I'm two different people.

Sikki fucks Vanity, abuses Vivian and acts like a rottweiler with rabies towards other people when he's not in the mood.

I don't know who or what the fuck I am anymore. And I don't care, either.

P.S. - I've realized the reason so many of the greats OD when they're in their prime is because all the fucking girls driving them absolutely fucking crazy. It's hard to stay sober when you're fucking two of the hardest ballbusters in L.A. and their crazy infects you and starts to fester.

P.P.S. - Would it be bad if I admit I wouldn't mind "accidentally" shooting Duff in the leg? Call it junkie's intuition: I have a feeling, and I don't want it anywhere near my wife

#nikki sixx #mötley crüe #nikki sixx x oc #nikki sixx fanfiction #gateway drug

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