#If everything goes like I imagined…my valentines will be go dancing…to celebrate their love… | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

tsukkisbean · 4 years

Text

never cold | third year boyfriend!tsukishima x gn!reader

genre: fluff and angst

warnings: jealousy, poor communication

word count: 4.0k

summary: you’ve always loved valentine’s day and believed it was a holiday worth celebrating and this year you have tsukishima to spend it with. however, much to your disappointment he tells you that he thinks the holiday is a waste of time and doesn’t understand why people even bother. so what happens when your secret admirer takes their chance to tell you how they feel?

a/n: i’m sorry this turned out kind of lame but nonetheless i hope you like it!!! ty for requesting!! also this is a repost bc tumblr is picking a fight :)

original request here

Every year, each class is assigned to run a holiday event for the school. So, when the school president notifies you that your class will be in charge of the Valentine’s Day event this year, you’re over the moon.

You’re determined to pull off an amazing event not only because your pride as class representative is on the line, but simply because you love the concept of Valentine’s Day.

During your break between classes you rack your brain, trying to think of an idea that will blow the entire school away.

“What about a kissing booth?”

You turn to look at your friend, nose scrunching in distaste, “Really? A kissing booth? I think that’s overdone and quite frankly, disgusting, Yachi.”

Embarrassment is written all over her face and you can’t help but feel bad at your small outburst, “Sorry Yachi, that was rude of me. I do appreciate you trying to help me though.”

Her messy blonde hair sways side to side as she shakes her head, “No, you’re right. I’d feel sorry for whoever has to kiss hundreds of random strangers.” A giggle escapes your lips when you see the way she gags at the thought.

“Hey, Y/N are you planning to do something with Tsukishima for Valentine’s?”

The question catches you off guard. You’ve been dating for just about a year now and you know he wasn’t exactly into these sorts of things but surely, he at least had something planned, right? Just as you’re about to respond, the school bell goes off, signalling the start of your third period.

For the rest of the day, your mind is preoccupied with brainstorming. Love telegrams? Serenades? Chocolates? No, although traditional, it was all too boring to you.

It’s only the when the ring of your cellphone brings you back to reality. Your face lights up at the caller ID, your finger quickly swiping across the screen.

“Kei! Where have you been?”

When you hear your boyfriend’s voice for the first time today, your worries seem to fade away. “Yamaguchi, Hinata and Kageyama kept pestering me to practice with them during all our breaks today.” You can just imagine the scowl he has plastered on his face.

“Well it can’t be helped. After all, interhighs will be here before you know it. You’ve got to set a good example for all your juniors.” You hear him sigh on the other end, “Yeah I guess but, that means we won’t be able to see each other as much.”

The corner of your lips lifts upward into a wide smile. Tsukishima has never been the type to be so forward when expressing his affection towards you, so you always cherish these types of moments.

You’re suddenly reminded of what Yachi asked you earlier in the day and you ponder whether or not you should bring it up with him.

“Hey, Kei?”

“Hm?”

“Do you have anything planned for Valentine’s Day?” You can barely make it out, but you definitely hear him scoff.

“Probably not. I don’t really understand why people go crazy over it. It’s so corny and unnecessarily expensive, it’s just a waste of a day.”

You nod your head, even though he can’t see you, “I see. Well I have homework to do, I’ll see you tomorrow. Goodnight, Kei.”

Before he can respond, you end the call, throwing your phone on the bed.

Why were you so upset? You know that your boyfriend was like this; you understand that he isn’t fond of big theatrics when it came to love. You like him and he likes you, that’s all that should matter. Yet, for some reason, you can’t get rid of the tight feeling building in your chest.

When you wake up the next day, your heart still feels heavy. Last night’s conversation still lingers in your mind, maybe because you know there’s some truth to what he said. Or maybe, it’s because you secretly hoped he’d take advantage of the holiday to show you how much he cared for you.

Pushing your thoughts away, you busy yourself with getting ready for another day of school.

When you arrive, you easily spot your boyfriend, his tall frame towering over most of the other students. One of his friends catches your eye, before giving your boyfriend a gentle a nudge, pointing towards you. Tsukishima turns to look at you momentarily before quickly walking off in the direction of his classroom.

Automatically, your lips turn into a frown. He must be upset because you abruptly hung up on him last night. You let out a sigh; maybe you’d buy him a slice of his favourite strawberry shortcake and surprise him after his practice.

During class your mind is anywhere but the lesson, your focus drifting between the Valentine’s event and Tsukishima avoiding you.

“Y/N”

“Y/N!”

Your seatmate gives you a sharp nudge to the side, bringing your attention to the front of the room.

“I believe you have an announcement for the class?”

You scramble out of your seat, smoothing out the wrinkles in your uniform as you make your way to the front of the classroom, “This year our class has been chosen to run the Valentine’s day event.” A mixture of groans and excited whispers fill the classroom, “If you would like to participate in the planning process please let me know. Those who do not partake in the planning are required to participate in the execution of the event.”

During lunch, much to your relief, a number of students approach you to offer their help. As a group, you exchange ideas back and forth and by the end of lunch break you’ve collected a wide variety of ideas. All that was left was to actually decide on one.

Happiness and excitement settles in your chest, and you can barely sit still for the rest of the day. When the final bell goes off, those helping with the event hurriedly crowd around your desk to continue the conversation from earlier.

“Okay well we definitely have to have flowers and chocolate! How can you have Valentine’s Day without those?”

“Singing attracts way too much attention. I would literally die of embarrassment if I got serenaded in front of the whole class.”

“Telegrams are so overdone, but I also think they’re romantic, they definitely fit the vibe.”

“What if we set up an event based on the red string of fate?” Once you hear the idea your heart falls in love.

“Watanabe, that’s a great idea! Students can send in their profiles and whether they’re looking for love or friendship. Then we’ll match them based on preferences. On Valentines Day, we’ll separate students onto two sides of the sports field. They’ll find the card with their names and put on their string before they set off to find their match!”

Excited chatter erupts among the group, everyone adding in their two cents. The next while is spent delegating tasks to everyone, from promotion to design to operations. By the time you wrap up it’s already close to 7pm.

Grabbing your belongings, you quickly throw them into your bag. Tsukishima should be wrapping up practice soon, and unless his teammates ask him to stay the two of you could walk home together.

Quickly, you make your way to the gym to find your boyfriend. From quite a distance away you can clearly hear Hinata and Kageyama shouting at each other as usual. When you arrive at the door, you’re greeted by a chorus of “hellos” from the volleyball club.

Your boyfriend jogs over to you, stopping just shy of the door. Upon further inspection, you can see the beads of sweat forming on his nose and forehead and you can’t help but smile, knowing how hard he must be working to make it to nationals this year.

“Y/N? What are you doing here still?” there’s a hint of standishoffness in his voice but you brush it aside, “My class was assigned to the Valentine’s Day event, so I stayed behind with some classmates to do some planning. I thought that we could walk home together?”

Tsukishima’s lips press into a thin line. Was he still angry with you?

“Sorry, but we’re still practicing.”

A voice chimes in from behind, “What are you talking about? You just said-”

The tall male whips around, you can’t see his expression but by the way Hinata reacts, you can tell he’s glaring at him.

“You know what, forget it. You obviously don’t want to walk home with me and I’m an adult so I can walk myself home.” Turning on your heels, you storm away from the gym, ignoring your boyfriend as he calls your name.

The next couple of weeks fly by as you’re busy preparing for the Valentine’s event. Applications flow in every day, and although you’re glad the event is a hit you can’t help but feel exhausted.

The fact that you and Tsukishima haven’t spoken properly since your outburst doesn’t help either. Your text messages are short and infrequent; a simple “good morning” and “good night”, and sometimes the occasional “have a good day”.

Before you know it, Valentine’s Day arrives. As you step onto the field, your heart is racing uncontrollably. You’ve spent the past month alongside your classmates working out every single kink to ensure everything would be perfect for today.

You raise your arm into the air, the red flag in your hand dancing in the cold winter breeze. Taking in a deep breath, you call out as loud as you can, “Ready... set.... go!”

Laughter fills the air as you watch your school mates stumble between each other trying to find their other half for the day through the sea of red.

“Pull on your string, you might be my match!”

“Quit pushing me!”

“Hey, stop trying to tangle my string!!”

“You guys are totally matched together, you’re literally the same person.”

Your cheeks start to ache from smiling so hard, but you can’t help yourself. Watching as everyone slowly finds the end of the red string creates a warmth in your chest. You haven’t felt this way since... well since the day Tsukishima confessed to you.

It had happened last winter. The two of you were walking home together after his volleyball practice. You’re not sure what came over you at the time but you thought it would be a good idea to throw a snowball at him. The look on his face when the cold white powder hit him square in his chest was absolutely priceless. But the moment didn’t last long when he made a much much much larger snowball.

You screamed at the top of your lungs as he chased after you, determined to get back at you. After a few minutes, your lungs started to give out and so you turned around, hands held up in the air, “I give up, I’m sorry.”

He narrowed his eyes at you, snowball still in his hands ready to throw it at you if need be, “What are you sorry for?”

You tried to stifle your laughter, for someone who acted so cool all the time, seeing that side of him was honestly quite refreshing, “I’m sorry for throwing a snowball at you. You must be cold.”

“No.” In three swift strides, Tsukishima is standing in front of you, “I never feel cold when I’m with you, Y/N.”

A distant voice snaps you out of your daydream. When you come back to your senses, you realize everyone has found their match and is waiting for your closing remarks. Grabbing the microphone you quickly thank everyone for participating, sending them off with well wishes.

Once the majority of the students leave the field, you round up your classmates, thanking them for all the hard work they put into the event.

As you head back inside, a familiar voice calls your name, “Y/N!”

“Watanabe, thank you for the amazing idea. There’s no way I would have been able to think of something as creative as this.”

They quickly shake their head, “No way, I should be the one thanking you. You had so many more ideas to add on that really brought it to life. This event was totally a hit, I heard a lot of people saying they want to do this again next year.”

A comfortable silence settles between the two of you as you head back to your classroom to grab your things.

“Hey, Y/N...?”

“Yes?”

“Are you doing anything tonight?” Your head snaps towards them, the surprise evident on your face.

“Ah sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. I was just wondering since you always seem so excited to talk about Valentine’s Day.”

You reach out, giving their shoulder a gentle pat, “That’s okay, I don’t mind,” you pause momentarily, “I don’t think I’m doing anything.”

Watanabe nods their head, clearly thinking about whether or not they should puruse the current topic. When they choose to let it go, you silently thank them, not wanting to be reminded of the fact that you and your boyfriend were still on bad terms on the supposed most romantic day of the year.

When you arrive at home, you try to distract yourself with your homework. Hours pass by, not a single message, or phone call. Even if Tsukishima didn’t like the holiday didn’t he at least have the heart to tell you “happy Valentine’s Day? Pulling out your phone, you open up your chat with your boyfriend. But before you can start typing, the familiar typing bubble pops up and you quickly exit out. You watch your screen expectantly, jumping when your phone chimes.

[10:43pm] ♥kei♥: good night.

Immediately, your shoulders deflate. That was it? Another simple goodnight? Throwing your phone in the corner, you climb into bed and shut your eyes. Maybe in your dreams you’d meet Tsukishima in a world where he truly cared.

Your body feels sluggish in the morning as you make your way to your cubby. Instead of sweet dreams, you tossed and turned all night unable to get Tsukishima off your mind. Pulling your indoor shoes out of their slot, you drop them to the floor with a thunk. You slip off your outdoor shoes, and just as you’re about to put them away, a red envelope catches your eye.

You look around to see if anybody is watching you, but everyone around you is absorbed in their own conversations. Quickly, you stuff your shoes away, before tearing the red packaging open.

Dearest Y/N,

Where do I begin? When I first laid eyes on you, I knew you were an angel sent from the heavens. Seeing you smile at me sends my heart into a frenzy, and quite frankly, I’m not sure if I’ve even recovered from the last time you looked at me with those eyes. Those beautiful eyes that I could get lost in forever.

If only you were mine, I’d make you happy.

Love,

Your Secret Admirer

You were at a loss for words. From the way they addressed you, it was obvious it wasn’t your boyfriend. Yet, you couldn’t think of a single person that could have written you this letter.

The warning bell goes off and you shove the letter into your bag, rushing off to homeroom.

As the week continues on, so did the letters. No matter how hard you looked, you couldn’t figure out who was leaving them for you.

At your wits end, you decide to confide in Yachi. If you couldn’t catch sight of your secret admirer, maybe she could, “I’m telling you Yachi, it’s definitely not Kei. I have no idea who it could be and I have no idea how they keep slipping me these notes without me noticing!”

As you ramble on about your secret admirer, you fail to notice how silent Yachi has become. When you finally realize, you notice how stiff she’s become; the colour has drained from her face and she’s not looking at you, but past you.

Slowly you turn around, only to be met with a cold pair of eyes. The grip around your wrist is tight as you’re dragged down the hallway.

“Kei, you’re hurting me. Let go!” Your complaints are dismissed as the two of you continue on, stopping only when you reach the gym used by the boys’ volleyball club. Your body is shoved into the supply room, Tsukishima slamming the door shut behind the two of you.

Click

“Why have you been ignoring me?”

Your mouth hangs open, completely lost for words, “Kei you can’t be serious.”

The way his gaze pierces through you tells you he’s dead serious.

“Is it because of the letters you’ve been receiving? Who are they from? Do you like them?” His questions come rushing at you so fast, you can barely catch everything he’s saying.

But the longer he goes on, the angrier you feel yourself become. You can hear the blood rushing in your ears, your body trembles with anger, you even think you might be seeing red.

“Do you want to break up with me?”

It’s like something inside you snaps and you can’t bear to listen to his rambling any longer, “Tsukishima Kei,” your voice rings loud and clear in the small room. For a moment even you’re stunned at yourself.

You open your mouth to speak again, but the only thing that comes out of your mouth is a weak sob. You lean over, resting your hands on your knees as the tears build in your eyes. It only takes a moment for them to start streaming down your face.

“Kei you’re so stupid, you’re so fucking stupid.” When you feel his fingers graze your skin, you immediately step away, your back hitting the layer of gym mats.

He takes a step towards you, “Y/N...please tell me what I did wrong. Please.” His voice is soft, barely a whisper.

When you look up at him, he looks just as ruined as you do. The area around his eyes is bright red, tears brimming his eyes.

"I wish you loved me more.” The words are bitter in your mouth, but there’s truth in them.

But when you see the look on his face, you’re instantly filled with regret, “Kei I didn’t-” but he cuts off you off before you can continue, “Is this because I said I wasn’t planning anything for Valentine’s Day?”

You say nothing, but your silence tells him everything he needs to know. Running his fingers through his hair, he lets out a frustrated sigh, “Maybe if you weren’t hanging out with Watanabe or any of those other people.”

“We were working on the Valentine’s Day event, and you know that.” you spit back at him, anger brewing in your chest once again.

He steps towards you again, arms trapping you between his body and the mats behind you, “I bet one of them is the one sending you the letters.”

When you don’t respond, he starts to make his way out of the supply room stopping momentarily to look back at you, “Y/N, I don’t need a shitty holiday to express how much I love being with you, when I do it everyday. Or at least that’s what I thought.”

With that, he leaves you, his footsteps heavy against the hardwood floors of the gym.

Over the weekend, you try to distract yourself from thinking about Tsukishima. But no matter what you do, everything always seems to lead right back to him.

Like the hoodie you’re wearing that he (reluctantly) gave you when you snuck out past midnight that one time. Or when your parents bring home the strawberry cake that the two of you would sometimes share at the bakery near your house.

While you drown in your feelings you ignore the knock on the door. But it comes again, and again, and again. Forcing yourself up from your bed, you make your way downstairs.

Swinging the front door open, you’re greeted by nothing but the emptiness of your front yard. Just as you’re about to shut the door, a flash of red catches your eye.

On the ground is a card and attached is a piece of long red string. The string passes your front gate but that’s as far as you can see. Cautiously you pick up the card, your name written clearly on the front. You don’t recognize the writing and so you debate with yourself for a few moments.

You shout to your parents that you’ll be back, not bothering to tell them why you were running off so late at night.

As you follow the red string you pass a number of familiar places. Your favourite bakery, the record store that has all the albums of your favourite artists, and the book store you like to hide in on rainy days.

At last, the string leads you to the park. Your eyes follows the string to where it disappears behind a nearby tree. Slowly you approach, your feet crunching against the snow.

Just before you can identify the person at the end of the string, a ball of white is hurled towards your chest.

You look down, the icy crystals already melting into the fabric of your hoodie. The sound of footsteps catch your attention, the culprit walking out with his signature smirk plastered across his face.

“What the hell was that for?”

Suddenly, you’re pulled into a hug. It’s warm and familiar, the feeling has you melting into his arms.

His hands grab fistfuls of your hoodie, pushing you closer to his body, holding you as if you were going to melt away just like the snow. Part of you is still angry at him for lashing out at you, but the other part of you knows that you were also in the wrong. So you stay, you stay in his arms because when you’re together like this, your heart knows that it’s home.

The two of you continue to stand there, breathing in sync, hearts beating as if they were one.

“Y/N I’m sorry.” His voice breaks the silence between the two of you.

One of his arms wraps itself securely around your waist, the other rising to cup your cheek, “I shouldn’t have gotten angry at you like that, it’s not your fault you were getting those letters.”

You shake your head furiously, wanting to tell him he’d done nothing wrong but when you look into his golden eyes. It’s a look you’ve never once seen before. It’s almost as if they’re pleading for you to listen, just for now. So desperate yet so full of love.

“I should have realized how important Valentine’s Day is to you. When you hung up on me, I should have realized. When I saw you the next day I shouldn’t have run from you. Being away from you hurt me, and I know it hurt you just as much. It wasn’t fair of me.”

There are a million thoughts running through your mind, but there’s one that you can see clearly.

“Kei, I love you.”

Maybe it was the winter chill, or maybe you’ve finally managed to fluster him, but nonetheless his ears burn a bright red.

“I didn’t mean what I said the other day - about wishing you loved me more. I know you do. I know you don’t say it often, but everything you do for me shows me you do.”

You ramble on, listing every action of love, big or small, that you can recall. Your speech is cut short when your boyfriend captures your lips in a chaste kiss.

His lips are cold against yours, yet when he pulls away, your mouth feels like they’ve been set aflame, “Y/N, I love you. If you want, I’ll make you feel as if Valentine’s Day is everyday.”

Your heart flip flops at those three words but all you can say is, “Kei you’re cold.”

Gently, he knocks his forehead against yours, “I’m never cold. Not when I’m with you.”

#tsukshima kei #tsukishima x reader #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu imagine #haikyuu fluff #clara click clacks

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needleanddead · 3 years

Note

I would agree to be Lucas' house-spouse if I got the FULL NINE YARDS. I want to be courted (flowers, simple dates, and very little touching. A hand hold, a hug and a couple of quick smooches AT MOST until officially married) The courtship process would just make me feel a little more respected.

I want to have a REAL wedding (doesn't have to be huge, just a few friends and family and I'm able to walk down the isle in a pretty gown)

I want a honeymoon even if it's just a stay in the next town over, I want him to dance with me on late nights when nothings going on (in the comfort of the house or under the stars)

I want him to agree to cook with me on occasion, I want use to go all out for major holidays, and I'd want to parent at least one child together, and from that point we can grow happily old(er) together.

If I don't get that the deal is OFF 👏 THE 👏 TABLE 👏 now could I get those demands or am I gonna get killed?

( this whole ask is basically "But I'd like the pie heated, and I don't want the ice cream on top, I want it on the side. And I'd like strawberry instead of vanilla if you have it. If not, then no ice cream, just whipped cream, but only if it's real. If it's out of a can, then nothing." and I'm so sorry)

Oooh, see, he wouldn't find any of these demands necessarily unreasonable . . . but that doesn't mean you're getting them </3.

- The courting? He'll do that; he'll probably struggle with not a lot of physical touch because he really wants to hold you! But he's pretty traditional at heart and he can respect that. He's already very likely to bring gifts! He doesn't want to risk taking you out anywhere until he's really sure that you're not going to run, though, so dates might be more of the 'at home' variety!

- The wedding . . . that one's difficult. He's not exactly living off the grid - he has a couple of little vices and creature comforts that means he goes into town every so often, and has some manner of identification . . . But he doesn't really like things being known about him in an official capacity. And, alas, you are probably a missing person! Lots of things need to be sorted out here, including him trusting you to insist that perhaps something horrible happened and Lucas has saved you, actually-- but, again, the traditional mindset means that he gets why you want it. And . . . he'd be lying if he said he hadn't fantasised about having a sweet, small, understated wedding with his beloved.

- Honeymoon would definitely not be too far away from the woods, but you'll be surprised just how fond people in the next town over are of him - and how happy they are he's found somebody! He's on edge all of the time because this kind of public living is really not his forte, but he's willing to try anything for you! He'll dance with you (he likes country music and has a record player; perhaps convince him to buy something a little more romantic).

- He likes cooking! He's been doing it for himself for years. If I've given the impression that his house spouse is a glorified maid, that's not it at all; it's just that he wants someone nice to come home to who keeps the house in order when he can't! He's more than willing to pull his weight. And if you're willing to eat his preferred meat . . . well, he finds something very intimate in cooking together and eating together to begin with. He's not just going to leave you to do everything!

- Christmas, he can handle. Lots of sweet romantic affection to be given around Christmas! The same for Easter; living in the middle of nature really means you get to watch a lot of things happen. New Year's and Halloween are a little more difficult for him; he doesn't like being paranoid or loud noises (military-related PTSD). He'll happily celebrate New Year's with kisses and countdowns, but . . . skip any kind of fireworks, okay? And Halloween makes him nervous. He'll buy candy and you can watch a scary movie (he has a very old television and VHS tapes), and he'll hope that's enough for you! It goes without saying that he loves Valentine's Day, especially with you by his side <3.

- And the child thing . . . He's perfectly happy to not have kids, but if his beloved did want them, that would also be more than fine. The idea of having a kid running around the place makes it feel more homely! By this point, hopefully you're no longer a missing person and there won't be any kind of that drama. There'd have to be a lot of discussion on it, but it's certainly not off the table!

(FWIW: I personally don't really like thinking about kids/family in a Murder OC universe, so this kind of vague answer is usually as far as I'm comfortable going. All of my OCs basically exist in a vacuum of wish fulfilment, as a 'if this is what you want, they're fine with it, and they're fine if not, imagine what you will: but it's not something I'm gonna get further into'! No shade or anything to this ask (I appreciate you ;_; <3) but I feel like it's a good time to express these personal boundaries now it's come up fnkjgbfgkjnbnf).

So! As to whether you get killed . . . I guess that's dependent on how flexible you are to how he feels comfortable fulfilling your demands! He really does just want to make his beloved happy, so he tries really hard as long as he trusts that they love him the way that he loves them!

#🦇 pip squeaks #lucas tag #cannibalism mention

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thoughts-of-a-bibleophile · 3 years

Text

family

not me jumping onto the shusumi week train when there’s only a few days left

i apparently used all my braincells to make this fic and saved none for the title

i...was very much possessed by a writing ghost when doing this. i was just reading some fics and suddenly had the idea for this and then an hour later, i had this fic. i was actually going for seasons when i first wrote this, but it very much turned more into a family piece, so here we are.

i’ve been a persona fan since about 2018, but this is my first work and, honestly, i’m really surprised it’s not shuake/akeshu since they’re usually my main ship. but the beauty of multi-shipping is that i can also love shusumi! i just think they’re really neat.

also, gonna be honest, i... think? this counts as shusumi? even though the focus is a lot more on family than anything else. i wanted to do a more internal piece about sumire and her thoughts after the events of royal, which i think i more or less got across here. there is definitely some shusumi in the end, though!

anyway, without further ado, i hope you enjoy!

if you’re in this tag, you probably don’t need this, but just in case: ***persona 5 royal third semester spoliers ahead!***

word count: 1.6k summary: sumire visits kasumi a year after the accident and reflects on everything that’s changed in the last year.

no beta, we die like men (i’m sorry in advance if there are mistakes, though!)

“I can’t believe it’s been a year.”

It was spring. The trees were green and blooming with flowers, the air perfumed with their sweet scent. Below them, rows upon rows of stones lined the grass, gray and somber, though some holding a pop of color from leftover flowers. A lone girl stood at one, clutching her own bouquet in hand, sakura petals clinging to her red hair.

She should be with her friends right now, celebrating their graduations and having their going away parties. But she couldn’t. Not after everything that had happened. Not without telling Kasumi first.

Of course you’d be the stick in the mud who had to ruin their days, a far too familiar voice seethed in her mind. She did her best to ignore it.

She bit her lip, wondering where to begin. How to begin. So much had happened that it seemed almost like a dream.

“I don’t even know where to start, but I guess the beginning is better than nothing, right?” Sumire sighed. “Honestly, you were always better at this than I was, but I’m going to do my best.”

And so she began. From living life as Kasumi for so many months to cope, to her short time as a Phantom Thief and battling monsters they had only heard of in storybooks, to her days of being lost as Sumire and denying the truth, to finally accepting herself with the help of her friends and-

“Akira...” she trailed off and felt herself smiling just at his name. “You would have loved Akira. He’s the one who was there through it all. He met me as, well, you, but he still likes me as Sumire and-“ She felt her cheeks warm, thinking of his ridiculous, yet romantic antics since she had blurted out that confession. And the fact that he had reciprocated-

Sumire shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts and her blush. That was a story for another time, another visit.

“Anyway, he’s actually the leader of the Phantom Thieves, but he also goes to Shujin. Things didn’t start out that well for him there, but he faced it all head on and did some incredible things. And he met so many people and has so many great friends.”

She paused. “Well, I guess they’re kind of my friends, too, now.” She shrugged to herself. “I wish you could meet them, Kasumi. You would fit right in, as usual. They’re all so kind and caring and funny and- I never thought I would meet people like them. Like I know you always had amazing friends, but for so long, I didn’t think I would ever meet people like that.”

I didn’t think I deserved friends like that, the thought rose in the back of her mind.

The stone in front of her said nothing. Not that she expected it to, but it felt nice talking to it anyway. She played with the edges of her bangs, lost in thought for a moment.

“But...that’s in the past.” She gripped the flowers in her hand tighter, her voice rising as her resolve hardened. “I made a lot of mistakes before, Kasumi, but I’m not going to make them again. I’m going to live my own life and make our dreams come true as Sumire Yoshizawa!”

Again, the stone said nothing. Her words hung in the air for a moment, only to be blown away by the breeze. She fiddled with the violets in her hand.

“I thought you’d like these. I know they’re your favorite.” She tried to smile, only for it to fall moments later. She tried to swallow the lump quickly forming in her throat.

“I know I didn’t tell you this when you were here, but I miss you. I miss you so much it hurts.” Her throat felt tight, her chest hollow, like something had carved a hole into it, never to be filled again. Tears pricked at the corners of her eyes as her head dropped, the old familiar feelings of guilt and despair slipping through the walls she had carefully built back up the last few months.

“I feel like I’m messing this up; I was never good with speeches like this.” She sniffled, pulling off her glasses to swipe at her eyes. “I just wish you could be here somehow.”

She closed her eyes, wishing just for a moment, for a sign that her sister was listening. The spring breeze picked up again, rustling the leaves of the trees around her. She opened her eyes to see the petals spinning in a circle, almost like they were dancing in a swirl of pink. It reminded her of the pink ribbons she and her sister had first practiced with, of dancing with her friends and of gymnastics and everything that she loved.

Perhaps it had been simply a coincidence or perhaps she was making something out of nothing, but it was enough. It was a reminder to live. To live their dream, to live her life.

Sumire smiled and sighed when the petals fell back to the ground as the breeze lessened.

“I’ll be back soon, Kasumi. I’m going to a graduation party for two of my friends! Makoto and Haru, I’ll tell you more about them next time.” She placed the flowers carefully into their designated spot. “And I’ll make sure to bring new flowers next time, too! And... maybe I’ll bring Akira next time. So you can meet him.”

With nothing in her hands, she fiddled with the hem of her coat, feeling like there was something left to say still, despite knowing that she likely didn’t have much time left.

“I don’t know what’s coming next, but I know you’ll be there with me, Kasumi.” Pink flowers fell on the gray stone and for a moment she could imagine them caught in brown hair instead. “I’m sorry it took me so long to realize that, but I’m glad I know now. I really am going to do my best to make our dreams come true, Kasumi. And I’m going to keep on going and live my own life! I promise.”

With a firm nod to herself, Sumire cast one last look at her sister’s headstone before returning to the walking path. Sakura blossoms covered the top, with purple violets at the bottom. Small sprouts of white flowers had begun to bloom at its base, leaving little gray showing through. Colorful and full of life, just like Kasumi.

Sumire turned back to the pathway and made her way back down to the entrance, full of hope for the future to come.

At the entrance, a boy with black hair and glasses stood, lost in thought, his hair covered in sakura petals as well.

Whether it was from leftover abilities from the Metaverse or he was just that perceptive - she was betting on the latter - he turned toward her as she descended the last few steps down to meet him.

Akira said nothing, just opened his arms to pull her close and rest his chin on the top of her head. She sank into the embrace, feeling the heaviness in her heart lighten just a bit. His hugs were great, but they weren’t magic, even if he liked to say they were. They had a long road ahead, especially her, but she knew they could get through it together.

“Thank you for waiting,” she said, more into his coat than to him. “I’m sorry it took so long.”

“It’s fine. I knew it was important.”

Sumire tightened her arms around him, nestling further into his chest, wishing they could just stay like that forever. But she knew that wasn’t possible, so instead, she looked up.

She had seen a lot of his smiles in the time she’d known him, but she’d only seen this one once before. It was on Valentine’s Day, when his usual smirks and grins had softened into the one he wore now, a quiet little thing that held such care and love that it made her heart clench.

“I’m proud of you, you know that?”

She blinked at him. “Why?”

“I know how hard it was to handle everything, let alone talk to your sister about it. But you did it. That takes a lot of guts, Sumire.”

She felt her face redden and that soft smile edged slightly into his familiar grin.

“I-It wasn’t that big of a deal,” she stammered out. “I mean, I wouldn’t have had the guts to even come here if you weren’t with me, senpai, and even then I didn’t do anything that special!”

Akira laughed, probably at how easy it was to still make her blush around him. He was so annoying sometimes and he knew it.

But then he was serious again and searched her eyes for a moment.

“Are you going to be okay? We can always just stay at LeBlanc and watch movies if you don’t feel up to the party later.”

Sumire shook her head, feeling more okay than she had in a long time. “I want to go and be with our friends. I’ll be okay.”

He smiled and kissed her, a simple, short thing that had done a dozen times at this point, but it never failed to make her head spin and her heart sing.

“If you’re sure,” he said as they separated, only to link their hands as they walked to the station. She squeezed it and felt herself smile, more of the heaviness in her heart lifting at the thought of seeing her friends soon.

“Time to celebrate!” she cheered into the early April sky, the sun seeming to shine brighter in agreement. Hand in hand, they ran toward the station, to meet their friends and celebrate the start of something new.

so that was sure something. i hope you enjoyed it?

sorry, it’s not on ao3 - i just...have not set my account up, so all of my fics are very much just vibing on tumblr. one day i’ll finish setting up my ao3.... one day...

anyway, let me know if you like this! i honestly have no idea if i’m going to be doing any of the other days, but we’ll see.

#shusumiweek #shusumiweek2021 #akira kurusu #sumire yoshizawa #persona 5 royal spoilers #shusumi #my writing #i cannot believe i churned out a fic like this after months of writers block #will this inspiration stick around? doubtful

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fangirlbase · 3 years

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The Howl of the Moon - Remus Lupin

Summary:

After a terrible accident in the battle at the Ministry in 1995, Hermione Granger wins a one-way ticket to the past. Unable to go back to his time, his only chance for survival is to adapt to the late 70s and get on with his life, interfering as little as possible so that the future does not fall apart.

However, everything goes downhill when Remus John Lupine starts to notice too much the new girl who clearly wanted to go unnoticed by Hogwarts.

Warnings: mature

4.The one of the birthday

Anyway, March had arrived!

It was less than three months to the end of school, but it also meant that nearly a month had passed since the Valentine's Day disaster. I mean, disaster in parts and just for a few people, as James and Lily couldn't be happier in their passionate bubble, not to mention the redhead wouldn't give up on the idea that Remus and Granger were a potential couple, they couldn't be still, but if it were up to her the four would soon have a double date! It had taken at least four days for Hermione to speak fearlessly to Remus again, and at least a week for Remus to stop treating Lilly with vengeful indifference, which unfortunately for them had only reinforced the absurd idea of a possible crush even further. in Lily's head.

So the ninth of March had arrived and with it the eighteen years of Remus! Unfortunately, it fell on the first day of the full moon, but luckily they would have a total eclipse that night, which meant…

- PARTY AT THE SHRIEKING SHACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A night just among the marauders, completely free of a curious and violent werewolf breaking free and running across the school grounds. Despite loathing the lunar cycle, Remus Lupine loved eclipses. When an eclipse was in the sky, Moony fell asleep inside him practically disappearing, making the wizard feel completely human - if only for a few hours.

No naughty whispers, no chocolate stuff, and no sharp senses!

Just him, a somewhat shy, scarred teenager who allowed himself to live a little.

Although the party was only later, none of them had shown up for dinner in the great hall that night - which in itself had been reason enough to make Minerva's hair stand on end. Everyone knows that professors love to gossip about students' lives and this was no different at Hogwarts, so of course Professor McGonagall had noticed the closeness between Jean and Remus during tutoring. So with the excuse of asking Miss Granger to try to stop any potential madness the marauders were planning, he called the student into his office as soon as she had finished her dinner:

- Oh, is today his birthday?

- Naturally, that's why I imagine he and his roommates are up to it like a Bunch of Silly Baboons.

Hermione, for her part, couldn't hide her laughter, she still remembered the dance lessons she had taken in fourth year for the Winter Ball where Minerva had made that same criticism of the Gryffindor students. So the girl wondered if the marauders had been the first to hear such endearing adjectives. The older witch seeing the student's laugh also smiled.

- I see that you have become very close to Mr. Lupin, a fine boy, I must say.

- Teacher, I'm not for that much… We are a good pair… Working! I mean, we work well together, in monitoring! - She replied embarrassed, wanting to run away from the subject as she was running from Lilian.

- Honey, don't waste the opportunities that Cupid presents to you. - And suddenly the teacher's eyes became very melancholy and hurt. - I once met a young witch as promising as you. Extremely intelligent and dedicated to studies. She met a guy who shared her same sense of humor, he was the only one who could debate as fiercely and passionately as she… Before the girl knew he was on his knees proposing marriage and she accepted. The teacher's melancholy smile was more than enough for Hermione to know that it wasn't just any student's story she was telling.

- Teacher despite whatever my heart dares to feel. And I don't say he feels anything about the matter of Mr Lupcough cough.” He coughed uncomfortable with everything the teacher was inferring. - Well what I mean is that under the circumstances in which I find myself… The way I came here. I couldn't… I simply wouldn't dare. I mean, it's too risky!

- And what I mean, Jean is that I don't want that story to repeat itself. Like you, she had a thousand and one very plausible and rational reasons to break off the engagement what she did. However, when she realized that as far as the heart, love, or even mere affection and camaraderie were concerned, it was not rationality that should have been heard, it was too late!

Hermione didn't know how to respond, despite all her embarrassment with Lily on Valentine's Day she had never looked at Remus in that way! Yes they were good friends, got along well together and could talk about anything for hours and hours. Of course she found his shy way cute in an adorable way like a needy pet, and she sure enjoyed Lupine's chocolate addiction, but she never looked at him as anything other than a housemate. By Merlin, she often had to remember that he wasn't her teacher but a teenager like her! But love, affection?

Seeing that the student was clearly confused, Minerva turned away from the subject and went back to inquiring about the possible pranks the Gryffindor quartet might be planning. But if even Jean didn't know what they were up to, McGonagall could only hope that Bunch of Silly Baboons Baboons didn't do any damage to her school! Dismissing the student right away, stating that she needed to correct some parchments for the next transfiguration class for sophomores.

Hermione, still shaken by the previous conversation, left, but soon stopped at the door, turning hesitantly towards the teacher.

- Teacher… If I may ask. What happened to your student and the guy she turned down?

- Naturally they went their separate ways. I understand she has taken on an important position in the ministry of magic. And he... found a new someone to love...

- I… I'm sorry teacher.

- Me too, Jean, but it's late now. Go back to the dorm if I won't be forced to give you detention. - The teacher joked, but Hermione couldn't help but hear the melancholy tone in the witch's words.

* * *

Contrary to what Minerva thought, the only damage the quartet would do would be to their own bodies. Come on, it was Lupine's birthday and more than that it was his night of sobriety about the wolf that shared his body! It was obvious that they would get drunk until tomorrow!

The four met on the second floor of the screaming house near eight-thirty at night, with them having prepared a nice little party for their werewolf friend: lots of fire whiskey, a chocolate cake, butterbeer, thousands of sweets from Fingers of Honey not to mention a mini feast smuggled straight from the kitchen of Hogwarts, after all the house elves adored James and Sirius. And of course a small bottle of water - since Peter liked to hydrate between a glass and another - the only sensible one in the group that night. All three were moved by the birthday boy's happiness, noticing how the daily weight had disappeared from Remus' back, being ridiculously lighter.

- And what are we waiting for? - With that sentence James started the night's celebrations.

Drinks over there, cakes over here when they saw it, it was past ten at night and everyone was irrevocably drunk. It had been at least six glasses of whiskey for Sirius, with Remus finishing up his fifth - which was already more than a little more than ideas after three bottles of butterbeer.

- Does Audrey know the reason for her disappearance, Peter? - James asked as he chewed on a chicken leg.

- Just I was celebrating the birthday of one of you.

Audrey Flint was the Slytherin who had sent Peter the little Valentine's card, and who had surprisingly been dating her ever since.

- Remus, even Peter has a girlfriend. When are you going to get one? You know I don't care about gender as long as he or she knows that marauders are their priority! - Sirius asked, nudging the werewolf beside him.

"Lily said it won't be long before he and Granger assume something." - James delivered his girlfriend.

- That's not it! Jean and I are just... friends? - Remus asked embarrassed, but at the mention of Jean rather than the clear questioning of his partner preferences. The truth is, Lupine didn't know if he was in the position of Granger's friends or colleagues at that point in the championship. The relationship was weird since Valentine's Day, at times it seemed that nothing had changed while at others Moony was a real busybody!

- If even that you know what they are. It's definitely lost!

- If they're not friends they can definitely be something else. - Peter nudged, liking the way Remus was starting to turn red and bewildered.

"The way you treated Lily after Valentine's Day just shows how much you're into her, Remus." - James insisted.

- No, no, NO! - Remus managed to deny it. - You got it all wrong! Jean and I would never work, you know I can't….

- I bet you're denying it like that because you don't know how to kiss. - Peter threw more wood into the fire.

- Of course I know how to kiss! - Remus was insulted.

That was partly true, as she'd had her first kiss two years earlier, also in an eclipse, when she'd allowed herself to experience a kiss that night. It had been at a Gryffindor party and had been no more than a smacking of lips, and since then he'd never come close to anyone else's mouth.

- A little kiss does not count as knowing how to kiss! - Sirius accused his friend, turning to him.

- And how do you expect me to learn then?! You know I don't…

Sirius didn't let his colleague finish, with a roguish grin he pulled Remus' neck towards him.

- Like this. - Whispered in his friend's ear, having fun when he saw the same shiver, approaching his body more and more.

In a second their lips were joined, with Black initiating an agitated kiss. He knew his friend had no experience, he had the vague memory in his drunken memory of Lupin describing how shameful and awkward that peck had been two years ago - so it had started slowly, but not having much patience and being clearly upset, he deepened the kiss without blinking. Then he opened his mouth hungrily, forcing his tongue against Remus' mouth, who surprisingly had given way and not only that, but was also trying to match his roommate's reckless rhythm.

After all, if it was in the rain, it was to get wet!

Mimicking Sirius' movements, Remus also held the brunet's neck possessively, intensifying the movements of his lips - adrenaline rushing through him. Their tongues tangled and wrestled and caressed, all to the sound of Peter's laughter and the shocked spit of James who had just put another glass of whiskey in his mouth when his friends began kissing furiously. It wasn't his fault he got scared and spit it all out at Peter!

But just as slowly as it started, the kiss ended.

- See if you learn and do it right with Granger. Sirius fixed his hair. - And if she doesn't want to, I'll always be here for you, monny! - He stated provocatively as he turned another glass.

- At least she won't have a beard itching. - Remus implied joining in the joke. - Can you tell me how you're still alone?

- There is no woman for me at Hogwarts. - Sirius declared, just like Xuxa Meneghel, where there were no men for her in Brazil.

* * *

All marauders were completely rotten, miserable, destroyed and finished.

All but Peter, who wisely interspersed the whiskey with generous doses of water, being the one who drank the least at the party - having a preference for chocolate cake. Sirius was down on the infirmary (he had the greatest resistance to alcohol, but even he overreacted); James was clinging to the toilet in Gryffindor, Peter was cheerful and bouncy with his Audrey, while Remus exploded with a headache. His eyes were sunken, his head seemed to be being poked by five drills as runaway ambulances pulled up to his ear - all with Moony barking furiously at being repelled last night by the "unnatural and evil" eclipse (words of the Wolf).

At least her swollen system from Moony's presence had minimized the seasickness effects, but the migraine remained like a sledgehammer on an anvil.

A bad mood had irrevocably seized Lupin. From the first dawn of the day Remus was IM-PRA-TI-Cable, being almost the human and rabid version of Moony, threatening to stupefy the next one who made noise in front of him. At least in the morning, since after lunch the sobriety potions began to take effect, turning him once again into a Pomeranian lulu and no longer a rabid pinscher.

At least that afternoon he could rest peacefully, as no one even went to the prefects! His plan was a quiet, undisturbed nap!

"You know, you might as well practice those licks with Jean, instead of pretending to be lazy" - Moony spoke like someone who didn't want anything when they were alone, going to the prefect.

- Licks…? - Remus was confused.

But Moony was prepared for that, immediately projecting memories of the night before - causing Remus to trip over his own feet at the sight and feel of Sirius' mouth and beard against his face.

THEY HAD DONE WHAT?!

“Nothing against what you prefer, but I think Jean more…. intriguing"

- Remus? Is everything OK? - Hermione asked after noticing the pale state that the ex-teacher arrived in the transfiguration room.

And it was when Remus' eyes focused on the girl that his face went up in flames, still moved by Moony's suggestion. THAT MEDDING WOLF!

"Just slightly drunk…" He replied, crawling to his seat, sitting down comfortably while putting his backpack as a pillow.

- Drunk?! I don't think Minerva was counting on it! - She laughed.

- Are you her new spy, Jean? Before it was Lily who was our probation officer. Befriended me just to watch over James and Sirius? - Remus joked, settling into his wallet.

- I don't know if that was her real intention, but it felt like it to me last night when she called me in her office to talk about... How did she say? Ah yes, "silly baboons babbling in a pack"!.

- There is! Professor Minerva has always been the most creative at Hogwarts! - The witcher laughed, soon regretting it when his head began to throb again and he moaned in discontent.

- What made you drunk so far?

- I had a birthday.

- Congratulations? Hermione asked, undecided by the deplorable state of the boy beside her.

He nodded gratefully, then tucked his head back into his backpack.

- Thanks, but would you mind holding the butts without me today? I put up with all day waiting for that nap.

Hermione just nodded, patting her light brown hair in congratulation, not seeing Moony squirm happily in the mind of Remus, a real needy puppy.

However, just that day, a living being appeared at the monitor in search of clearing up his doubts about the last transfiguration class of the seventh year, regretting it the moment he saw who was the monitor of his class.

Severus Snape would not stoop to the point of asking one of the marauders what things, no matter how trivial! Even though the rascal in question was almost drooling over his backpack by now.

- Can I help you? Hermione asked, noticing Snape's intention to turn around and leave.

- Do you know the content of the seventh year or just this wolf project? - Asked mockingly as he indicated with his chin the Gryffindor passed out.

- You'd be surprised what I know. - Retorted defiantly. She had almost changed her mind when Severus implied knowing that Remus was a wolf, but quickly remembered that he had almost died because of Remus, or rather because of Sirius who played a more than unfortunate prank on the Slytherin. His challenge did not find deaf ears.

Threat, warning, knowledge and... flirting? The girl's challenge reached every possible sense, although Severus very much doubted the latter.

Well, Snape had a mirror in the bedroom, and even if he didn't, he was reminded of his questionable appearance all the time. Jean might have publicly rejected Sirius Black, but he would never look at someone like him, so there was no chance of it being a lame excuse to kiss in the nearest broom closet - although the idea was not repulsive to him, and well he even thought it was Very pretty.

Hermione thought he must be very desperate to actually accept her help, after all she was a year younger, muggleborn (not that he knew of) and Gryffindor. She actually thought he would refuse her help because she was a Gryffindor, but here he was snorting discontent as he sat at a desk and indicated the chair across from him an unquestionable invitation.

At the end of it all Snape had been impressed by how smart the girl was. He suspected even more than that drooling Siberian husky snoring a few wallets away. But Severus' joy was short-lived, as in the middle of the explanation another individual immensely more undesirable than the slime project sprang up in the classroom.

- HEY, SNOTTY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING NEAR HER?! - Sirius forgot his hangover to make trouble in defense of the girl one of his best friends was clearly interested in, waking Remus in the process.

- I don't see your name on it, Black! Snape shot back, making Hermione arch an eyebrow. Since when has she become a reason for egos?

Indifferent on the outside, but laughing on the inside, Hermione allowed herself to agree that that tirade had been good, very good. Maybe even enough to forget one or two reprimands Snape had given him in the future.

Was Sirius this annoying always? If she ever made it back, she wouldn't stop complaining to Harry about her friend's godfather's impossible behavior at school.

- What makes you think you can come here, snotty?! Get closer to us….

- As far as I know, here is a classroom at Hogwarts, in pre-service time for the transfiguration subject.

- If you have any doubts, ask someone of your level. - Sneered.

Hermione was terribly offended. He had called her stupid, for being a year younger! But she soon realized that it would make more sense that Sirius was referring to the fact that it wasn't a death eater project. Or something like this?

- I would, but the creature in question is sleeping during working hours. Should I report this slip to Professor McGonagall?

Sirius even managed to pull out his wand and cast a spell, but Hermione was quicker and threw a stream of water at him.

- Unpleasant. I hate the smell of wet dogs. - Snape teased once more.

- ENOUGH! - He interfered by talking to both of them. - What are you doing here, Black?

- Is it forbidden to visit my friends now?!

- That's when he threatens another student!

- You mean you agree that you are my friend! - He wasted no time, giving a wink being promptly responded with another jet of water.

- If you do not mind? - She said turning to Severus who kept his victorious smile in front of the soaked Gryffindor. - Would you like us to finish our monitoring elsewhere? Hermione asked Snape, who readily agreed, following the short-haired girl to the library. Where she had a private class in the subject, at least as far as Jean knew, after all she was a year younger, as much as she knew a lot about seventh grade content, that wasn't all. Surprisingly the Slytherin completed the gaps without any mockery or contempt for her making the time together really enjoyable.

Confused, Remus watched the girl depart with the stateroom Slytherin, confused and somewhat irritated with Sirius for making her leave.

- I think it's better you do it right with her! - Sirius warned him. - Or sooner or later she may fall for that venomous snake's tricks! Or better yet, in my charms! - He joked.

- Padfoot, she is more likely to date Snape than to date you, I would say until she marries him and has five children and eighteen cats. - Remus chuckled, relieved the kiss between them hadn't been a big deal.

Just brother's things, you know!

- Since you are missing the magnificent chance to be with me, I say with propriety, from someone who has a lot of experience, that you have more chances than him.

- Chances of what? She's just a friend, coworker at best. Besides, she's afraid of canines.

- Well… that's bad for both of us, Moony. - Sirius spoke to the werewolf, who just sighed in Remus' mind.

“I wish I were a fish…”

#remione #remus lupin #sirius x remus #sirius x remus x hermione #sirius black #Hermione Granger #travel time #time turner #back in time #wolfstar

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fmdtaeyongarchive · 3 years

Text

rewriting ash’s intro post since i link it on his plots page so that the info’s up to date since my last rewrite is over two years old. i added quite a bit about his personality/characterization, so feel free to read it but also feel equally free to ignore it.

tw: mention of depression/anxiety

ashton taeyong kwon, born in san francisco, california on december 24, 1995, and was raised there until age 13

his stage name is taeyong, but friends call him ash. he’s learned to respond to taeyong tho and doesn’t mind fans and acquaintances calling him that; he just doesn’t really like being called ashton unless you’re his actual mom and he will generally make his distaste known if you do that. fans don’t really know he goes by ash in his private life so they call him taeyong and he’d like to keep it that way. (he’s not a fan of fans pretending to have a closer relationship with him than fan-artist... lmao)

was a musical baby from birth so he started taking piano, dance, and guitar lessons pretty early and fell in love with all three

auditioned for bc entertainment’s global audition in los angeles for fun more than anything else as a dancer. he didn’t know a ton about korean music (or korean language) but figured it couldn’t hurt since he knew he wanted to pursue a music career

won a contract offer and decided to go for it with his parents’ approval, so he moved to seoul by himself at 13

he knew very little korean, so he was kind of isolated as a trainee and was really lonely. his parents probably shouldn’t have let him move his life overseas alone at such a young age and on such short notice knowing his personality, but they kinda wanted to live the childfree life again since they had him so young and without plans to have a kid

(his parents are good parents for the most part, though! he loves them to death and they’re very loving and supportive, they’re just the types that didn’t plan to have a kid until it happened on accident)

by the time he debuted, he knew korean well enough to get by but he did have some attitude scandals when they first debuted because he was trying to overcompensate for not being 100% fluent

bc decided his image should be more ~broody and artsy~ to avoid more attitude scandals. since then, it’s evolved into james dean-esque bad boy heartthrob, but for the longest time his image was pretty much being quiet which led to him not being super popular until he eventually started to shape his own solo career (so he now has a lot of akgaes)

things were going pretty well for him for a while ! knight was doing great and yeah maybe he was a little overworked but he was performing ! which is what he wanted ! right ? right ?????

all hell broke loose on valentine’s day in 2016 when one rather minor dating rumor released by a media outlet led to a much bigger scandal which originated in fan communities through “leaked” pictures of him out with other female celebrities in common date locations or, in one case, entering a hotel together on more than one occasion

antis quickly ran with the narrative of him being a player/womanizer/serial dater/cheater, etc. and further “evidence” appeared on fan communities like unsubstantiated “eyewitness” stories and convenience store receipts and it took a big toll on his reputation despite the company coming out with a statement denying everything and claiming he was only friends with the women

it became a big mess and he tried to put on a strong face but in reality it tore him up because now everyone was talking shit about him online and trying to make his private life their business and he ended up in a Really Dark Place

was pretty much dungeoned outside of knight activities for about eight months before he was made one of the members of the white knight sub unit to get him back in the public’s graces which worked on a minor level. he got his first solo activities (osts) around this time as well to test out public response.

in 2017, got caught with another female idol at a convenience store at night which sparked dating rumors, but those were more easily dismissed. late that year, he got in a scandal for causing a commotion when he was wasted outside of a club in tokyo and called a female friend to pick him up from the club... not his best move.

2018 was the year of being criticized for being lazy on stage and allegedly having an attitude problem with fans during fan signs. was a bad look, but the instances causing the scandal were mainly a result of his poor mental health (depression and extreme anxiety) he was dealing with as a result of making his solo debut amidst quite a lot of online hate.

so yeah he made his solo debut in late 2017 and has had a steady career as a solo artist (he’s dropped four full albums and several promoted or non-promoted singles) and a model for endorsements and cfs (his biggest and longest-term deal has been with calvin klein, and that’s become a part of his Brand now i would say — the sexy, modern, all-american image of calvin klein fits his public image to a t) since then. he and bc have worked very hard to redeem his public image and he hasn’t had a scandal in like three years, during which time he’s had six number one singles, so he’s not public enemy number one anymore and his past scandals tend to be more of a footnote to people who aren’t actively his antis lmao

he also had a viral fancam in october 2020 that went viral for him being sexy and Very Into singing you know i’m no good by amy winehouse (because he hates himself </3)... sexy king who has internalized issues with being sexualized that he kinda has to deal with since that’s a big part of his image and also continuously gets rewarded in his career for his Public Self-Hatred Self-Flagellation... anyway

has also done a lot of work as a songwriter/producer since his solo debut for himself and others and that’s his main passion right now. this man does not leave his home studio a lot

doesn’t have much say in knight’s music but he’s fine with that since he’s pretty much over knight. would throw a party if knight disbanded today and considers other knight members co-workers over friends for the most part.

has major depressive disorder and an anxiety disorder (the former is diagnosed, the latter isn’t officially but ash knows something is up there, he just hasn’t seen anyone with the capacity to officially diagnose him) and insomnia and those took a really bad toll on him for a while and still do but he’s actively seeing a therapist again as of mid-2020 and is trying to handle those situations better

ummmmm, his main personal interest is music, he has an impulsive/rebellious streak for days, and he’s a hopeless romantic who believes his own personal search for love is hopeless

his main motivation is just ?? to find happiness that he doesn’t think he’s really felt in his adult life but he also doesn’t think he deserve it so :/ is also very driven by his desire to have a long-term impact on the world and to Mean Something

his biggest fears are heights, not meaning anything to anyone, and The Inevitability Of Oblivion

he hates being Known . he’s extremely private. doesn’t let anyone know about his relationships and tends to be weirdly private about his friendships as well. doesn’t think anything he does is anyone else’s business unless he personally makes it their business lmao

a hufflepuff who could have also been considered for gryffindor tbh but would choose hufflepuff

infj-t (”the advocate”) - “they tend to approach life with deep thoughtfulness and imagination. their inner vision, personal values, and a quiet, principled version of humanism guide them in all things.”

i used to call him neutral good but i honestly think he’s become chaotic good

melancholic

type 4w5 (”the bohemian” / “the free spirit”) - “four wing fives fear having no impact on the world. they may be reserved, but they seek recognition and admiration. they desire their own personal identity, and may retreat within themselves to discover who they really are. free spirits tend to defend themselves either by withdrawing from others or adapting characteristics of loved ones.”

that’s all really but i can talk about him for hours if anyone ever wants to know more about him

#&& there's nobody home | ooc #&& queued

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mon-dayragingslut4monstaxday6 · 4 years

Text

Behind the Scenes: Birthday Girl

What was going on outside of the narration between part 1 and part 2 of Birthday Girl?

*CONTAINS SPOILERS IF YOU DIDN’T READ EITHER PART*

Word count: ~1k

A/N: If this goes well, I plan on doing this not for only this fic, but for other projects as well. It broke my heart that my anticipated part two of this fic didn’t show up on the tags at all. The algorithm wasn’t in my favor today I guess. Feel free to message or send an ask for feedback or questions.

Changkyun leaves the bedroom with a cheshire cat grin. Sarah offered something to cover up the passionate marks she left on his skin, he insisted on keeping them visible. Not necessarily like a trophy, but as a symbol of something monumental in his life. He was on top of the world. If his brothers weren’t in the living room, he would dance to burn off the happy feeling in his heart. What would make it better is if he said the three words that could change everything. He used his words to elaborate, for it’s better to express love than to simply say it. What would she have done if he said he loves her? Does she know he loves her? Will he ever tell her he loves her? He wants to give her the world, but all he could give is his love and a friends with benefits status. He doesn’t want to be friends with benefits, he wants to be with her all the way, but due to the unpredictability of what Starship would say to him dating, he had to give something.

Changkyun sits on the couch, the same spot where he came on Sarah’s hand just moments before. He bites back a smile, watching the TV, but isn’t paying any attention to the screen. His mind is elsewhere, playing the events between him and Sarah like a movie in his memories.

“Is Sarah alright?”, Wonho nudges Changkyun’s arm.

“She isn’t feeling too well”, Changkyun keeps his promise. The boys express concern for Sarah’s wellbeing. They turn down the volume of the TV, which was blaring, shielding the sounds from the bedroom, leaving no hint of horseplay.

“What happened to her?”, Shownu adjusts his posture.He realizes he didn’t discuss a plan on the cause of her illness.

“She’s had a tough day at work today. She got really anxious and had to go home early because of an upset stomach. I got her to take a shower, I’ll check on her in a minute”, Changkyun recalls a text conversation between them earlier that day.

“I’ll go check on her!”, Jooheon springs to action. Rushing to the kitchen to fetch a glass of ice water, Jooheon was determined to be there for Sarah. Due to insecurities, Jooheon felt like he was neglecting Sarah lately, although without proof. He came to terms that he has feelings for her, but what’s holding him back is, he knows he’s not the only one. Maybe this kind gesture could “spark” something between them? It’s not like Jooheon wants the recognition, he simply wants Sarah to be happy.

Jooheon goes to Sarah’s door, hoping to catch her at a good time.

“I’ll go check on her in a minute”, Changkyun waves at Jooheon.

“I just want to give her some water”, Jooheon swats the air.

“I’m getting dressed, just a second!”, Sarah alerts, frantically getting dressed that very second.

“It’s Honey”, Jooheon announces. His heart races, waiting patiently to enter her bedroom. He feels foolish for referring to himself as his nickname. The thought of her naked just on the other side of the door ignites a fire in his chest, a fire he hasn’t felt in a while.

His attraction to her, similar as the others, started as soon as they met. He couldn’t help but think she’s beautiful. The last time he got a fire in his chest like this was Valentine’s day. They had their comeback for the All About Luv album and she facetimed them to congratulate them. Since he wasn’t there for the promotions in the United States, Sarah went to visit Honey to celebrate just between them. She wasn’t dressed any different from usual, but she looked more beautiful than he could imagine. The fire in his chest made him feel breathless and needy. A feeling of wanting to kiss her overwhelmed him, just to feel his lips on her skin excited him.

“Come in”, Sarah groans. Jooheon takes a deep breath, trying to compose himself before entering a lion's den. What he doesn’t know is his fantasy of kissing her is going to come true and more. He’s going to lose control of himself and unleash hell in her bed.

After the sexual escapade in the bedroom, there was a wave of relief on Jooheon. He didn’t expect Sarah to want him almost as much as he wanted her. Weight was lifted off his shoulders, not only from relieving stress by sex, but also relieving the fear that Sarah isn’t attracted to him. What does this mean for their relationship? He also has no confirmation on being allowed to date, but if he could date, she’s his girl.

Jooheon leaves the bedroom, adjusting his dick in his sweatpants.

“Is she going to be ok?”, Hyungwon looks over to Jooheon.

“Oh, she definitely was not feeling well, but the shower helped. She had a glass of water and is now laying in bed. I think she just needs to sleep it off”, Jooheon lies, internally nervous, but externally casual. Kihyun squints his eyes at Jooheon. Realizing how messed up his hair is, Jooheon finger combs it back to the previous style.

“We should probably go soon so she can sleep. I’ll go say goodnight”, Changkyun eagerly rushes back into the bedroom.

"Wasn't feeling well?”, Wonho fights a frown. A little green monster unexpectedly brews in Wonho. But why?

“Yeah, but she should be better now”, Jooheon nods.

“Good”, Wonho carries on to watch TV, arms crossed. Jooheon sits back at the couch, still composing himself after the sex.

“Next time you check on her, check the volume of the TV in the other room”, Hyungwon whispers to Jooheon.

“Why?”, Jooheon furrows his brows.

“We could hear you two”, Kihyun nonchalantly blurts out, sipping his drink. Jooheon sits there in silence, realizing that there is one wall separating her bed to the living room, choking on the news that his brothers heard him have sex with Sarah. What none of the boys know is that Changkyun is getting away with having sex with Sarah twice in one night, once due to the TV volume, the other from learning by Jooheon’s mistake.

#monsta x smut #monsta x scenarios #monsta x imagines #monsta x fluff #monsta x #monsta x changkyun #monsta x jooheon #monsta x wonho #monsta x hyungwon #monsta x kihyun #monsta x minhyuk #monsta x shownu #kpop smut #kpop fluff #birthday girl series

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best1shot · 4 years

Text

Favs of Bucky Barnes

Bucky’s day off

Tantalus’ fruit

Bad girl - smut

Trust - she panics the day she finds him in te bathroom with scissors in his hands and fresly cut hair in a soft pile on the floor, innocently sandwiched between his bare feet

Panic - two little texts send yout heart into a frenzy, and when the super soldier responsible for them doesn’t reply, you just hope he’s still alive for him to hear exactly what you think of him

You made a list? - bucky finds a list you made

Apricity - bucky comes to you for comfort after a hard mission, but he doesn’t feel like he deserves you

“Why is she wearing my hoodie?” - bucky tries to figure out the reason behind his missing hoodie one day, relishing in the idea tha might be a win-win for both of you... but wha might that lead to?

Not a monster - bucky ends up teaching a class of seconds graders about WWII

Once a snap - thanos snapped and your world feel apart. now, five years later everything has been fixed but you

Bucky being soft - super soldier raised his voice around you and boy... he feels bad about it

Morning run - bucky likes reader and decides to join her and sam on a run

Pitching a tent - you and the team go on a camping trip together and you get stuck sharing a tente with bucky

Tease filled mornin - a few short and small innocent kisses ultimately turn into a game of “who can tease who better”

Let me show you - bucky gives reader a “redo” on her first time, and takes her virginity / smut

Jealous - you and bucky are in a sex-only relationship, the only problem is you’re in love with him. your friends constantly remind you that you should be together, but after a while you give up

Baby - bucky and Y/N drift apart, and bucky can’t figure out why

Always the friend part 1 - you and bucky are good friends. you consider him one of yout bests! unfortunately for you, you have developed a crush on him. you are too scared to teel him, because you don’t want to ruin yout friendship

- Always the friend part 2

Just friends.. part 1 - you and bucky became fast friends when you first started with the avengers. what happens when bucky gets a girlfriend who is not okay with you relationship?

- Just friends.. part 2

Good girl - bucky and reader turn eachother on with pet names - smut

The mood - “come on. I just wanna feel you” “i’m noot in the mood for sex” “let me just put the tip in then” - smut

If you love me, why did you hurt me? FIC - you dated bucky for five wonderful years! you thought he was the one! then, without reason, he ends your relationship, and gets a new girlfriend two days later! while you are both avengers, you still have to see him, and his girlfriend

Bad Match FIC

I ran - a new addition to the avengers, everyonde seems to like you... everyone except bucky barnes

You’re mine - smut

Yours - a new girl joins the team, and gets a little too close to bucky for your linking - smut

Push-ups

Benefits - you and bucky had been friends with benefits for a while, and of course someone catches feelings

Morning glory - spending the night at bucky’s for the first time has you very excited and a morning suprise really moves the relationship along

Make me hum - “your tongue is disgustingly long” “it is. never had a woman complain” “you’re insufferable” - smut

He’s your dancing queen - bucky is a man-child about indulging your want to watch mamma mia for the hundredth time, and when you came early a few days later you are met with something unexpected

F&MU - smut

No clue - Y/N and bucky hate each other. nobody knows why. whenever someone asks, the pair just say “I have my reasons”. some think that something happend between them when bucky was in hiding. some think that bucky did something to Y/N when he was the winter soldier. some think that there’s no actual reason, they simly hate each other

Slow dancing in a burning room - Y/N knew that bucky had to leave someday but that didn’t mean that she was ready when the day came

Roses FIC - bucky tells Y/N he’s the winter soldier. the next day, hes’ taken by the government and that’s the last Y/N sees of him... until they cross paths again. but what if bucky doesn’t remember her?

Doctor me up

Bubbles

You are so annoying, baby

Close to you - bucky loves Y/N, he didn’t mean to snap at her

Kiss me slowly

Falling like the starts

Hard Place

May I ask - you and bucky broke up a few months ago. conveniently enough, he gests called ou to an undercover mission and you were spared from seeing him everywhere you went... until he gets back and suddenly all the feelings are back

Dates - bucky organises a date for you

Self care

Valentine’s day - “why should we express our love and act romantic on this day when you can be all year round?”

New hair

Disney and chill

Soft Bucky

Player - being pennys best friend and falling for bucky - smut

Riding - where you ride his thigh - smut

Miscommunication - bucky has an accident and you come to his aid

Undercover - you and bucky have to act as a couple during a mission

Sleep Deprivation - bucky’s nightmares are getting the best of him, you help distract him

Safety - bucky steps in when an argument with your boyfriend takes a turn

Coincidences - an overheart conversation exposes some true feelings

Educating bucky - bucky is trying to cath up on everything he has missed

Temperature control - temperatures in the compund rise, you nedd to find some way to cool down

Trouble - a mysterious man catches your eye at a tony stark party

Priorities - bucky worries about the effect his job is having on his family

Unexplained events - the day goes from bad to worse. then you receive some news that could make or break everything

The bet - thor brings some asgardian liquor to one of tony’s party and bucky makes a bet that he may regret

Scheduling errors - you and bucky are stuggling to find time for each other

Starting over - set after the end of endgame, bucky wans to start over, he just isn’t sure how

The morning after - after a night of birthday celebrations you wake in your own bed. but you’re not alone

Trapped - the team encourage you to play 7 minutes in heaven. 7 minutes turns into 7 hours

Rules of engagement - bucky proposes to you. you’ll accept on one condition

Testing the brakes - after an argument you just have to get away leaving bucky feeling lost

Dinner plans - your romantic dinner plans don’t quite go to plan

Something borrowed - you may have borrowed bucky’s favourite t-shirt without telling him, you need to return it before he finds out

Defining scars - after a month long mission you spend the night wrapped in your hasbands arms

First - first time saying “I love you”

Reunited - after being put in cryo until shuri could fix him, bucky is woken up and feeling more like himself. shuri needs to talk to bucky and takes the reader with her

Dog tags and storage units - two things in this world belong to bucky. his tags, and you - smut

45 - “what do you mean not yet? you can’t expect me not to cum when you’re fucking me so good!” - smut

1 - “let me show you why you should stay in bed”

Just hitched - at steve’s wedding, you findyou have an asigned seat next to the one and only bucky barnes, aka, the best man - smut

Changes - reader and bucky go out to dinner and get drunk, back home she decides to take charge in bed

It’s what you need - bucky knows that reader just needs to get it fucked out of her system - smut

Selfies PICS

Stroking all day long - bucky has a thing for reader, who is an avid swimmer. upon seeing her practice in tony’s pool, he gets turned on

Ready to comply, to you - the winter soldier gets triggered to come out and play, but instead of taking orders from whoever set it off, bucky stays obedient to the reader

First time - bucky and the reader had been dating for a while and he finds out she's a virgin

Shower - sexy time in the shower with bucky after he worked out and he's all sweaty and he ran to the bathroom so he could press himself to your wet naked body instead of showering alone

BJ - a bj when bucky’s tryna get paperwork done

Risk - risky blowjob

Almost killed - reader almost gets herself killed on a mission, and Bucky tries to stop her but she’s independent and stands up for herself

But - “I love you, but stop talking”

Bite me - “I’m fully capable of kicking your ass”

Hurt - “ what the hell were you thinking? you could have been hurt.”

You - “you’re jealous.” “it’s always been you.”

Drunk - “how much did you have to drink?”

Stay - “(name), open the door!” “stay. please.”

Cold - “it’s freezing. come here.” + “I’ve loved you for years”

Make right - reader sees something she shouldn’t, and hurt feelings ensue.

58/82 - “come sit on my face, let me show you how much I missed you” “yeah, that’s it, baby, just like that”

82 - pulling hair kink

46,48,81 - “wanna see what I’m wearing underneath all this?” “I can’t wait to pu bruises all over that pretty skin” “is that a thong?”

5,47,93 - “you look good all soaking wet” “you deserve a reward for being so good today, what would you like it to be?” “it’s okay, honey, you can pull my hair as hard as you want while I’m between your legs”

6,12 - “are you sure that’s what you want? I could really hurt you” “you don’t have to be gentle with me, I don’t break easily”

How do you think a jealous Bucky would behave?

Protective boyfriend Bucky

Bucky dealing with a guy trying to steal his girl would include?

Jealous bucky headcanons

Protetctive bucky

It’s cold, take my jacket

Tomorrow - “you’re not leaving, are you?”

Cuddly - reader is feeling down and bucky makes sure her hair gets washed, bringing an array of stories and suds

Keeper - you were never supposed to be more than the winter soldier’s plaything, but some bonds can’t be broken

Always knew - you always knew in your heart steve didn’t belong to you. you just never imagined someone else did

Back

A bid on bucky - you spend thousands of dollars at a bachelor auction for bucky when you could’ve had him for free this entire time

Deserve - bucky overhears that he doesn’t deserve the girl he loves and he agrees

Pressed together

You make me feel - you make me feel so young. you make me feel so spring has sprung. and every time I see you grin, I’m such a happy individual

Control - smut

Promise - as soon as your fingers wrap around him, bucky takes in a sharp breath and his muscles go taut again. always ready to spring into action. fight or flight

22 - “I can see you undressing me with your eyes”

8 - “I love the way you taste”

9 - “you can get rough with me; I won’t break”

3 - “I can show you just how flexible I am”

15 - “you’re the only person I wanted to be with tonight”

80,89 - “why did I marry you?” “it took a lot of convinving”

No touching - bucky barnes vs. an idiot

Lazy morning - lazy morning with bucky. she has a wet dream, and he wants to make it come true

83,84 - “you can’t eat solids, only liquids until thursday” “come on, baby, up to bed”

Crushes and spam accounts SOCIAL MEDIA - y/n and bucky are teammates and she finds herself falling for the blue-eyed soldier. unable to find an escape, she rants about her feelings about him on an anonymous spam account. harmless, right?

I wished on the moon for you - after losing bucky, you were devastated. so when howard stark asks for volunteers for an experiment, you’re the first in lin

Help - two years after you and bucky broke up, the team needs your help

Nightmare - you’re not sleeping, and bucky notices

Sly as a fox SOCIAL MEDIA - after the blip, the avengers continue on with business as usual. but they soon find out that while they were away, someone took it upon themselves to do the job they left behind

Mais charmante SOCIAL MEDIA - james needs something. more specifically, he needs someone. someone he can take care of that’ll fill his daily quota of affection. who better than a college student whose heart is too big for her own good?

I’ll be home for christimas - bucky made a promise to his girl, and steve helps him keep it

I don’t need a roof - bucky thinks he’s running out of time, and needs to make sure his girl knows she’s taken care

68 - “let’s carve our initials into the tree”

125 - “(name)?” - “yeah?” - “I’m gonna kiss you now.” - “okay”

69 - “every time you touch me, I feel a little less broken”

The only one SOCIAL MEDIA - you’re the head engineer of stark industries (and peter parker’s older sister) and close friends with the avengers. you’ve always had a crush on one james barnes, however what happens when someone from your past comes in right as bucky starts to reciprocate your feelings?

Charcoal Drawings SOCIAL MEDIA - you are an art student and are forced to take a life drawing class which will include nude modeling. one little problem, the model is super fucking hot

Feelings you can’t deny SOCIAL MEDIA - you love working with your brother and best friends. but what will happen when bucky visits the avengers and you can’t seem to stop embarrassing yourself?

Secrect confessions SOCIAL MEDIA - after an unexpected break up with bucky, you change a few things. your hair, your number, even your schedule for the upcoming semester. but after weeks of dodging the topic, your roommates (MJ, peter and the twins) and your close friend natasha decide it’s time to help you move on

Sure, jan SOCIAL MEDIA - while writing your college history paper on WWII, you decide to tweet your favorite avengers, steve rogers and bucky barnes, for help. they were also the most qualified. it’s not like they would actually reply, right?

Okay, but can I get more ice cream first? - bucky takes care of you when you get your wisdom teeth removed

Here comes trouble - you were supposed to be dating peter parker. then can someone explain why the hell bucky is treating you better than your own boyfriend

I hate everybody SOCIAL MEDIA - after spending the summer getting over your high school sweetheart, it’s time for new beginnings. what else is college for?

Mission report: laundry day - you and bucky have been secretly dating for over a year, what will it finally take for the others to find out?

Not happening FIC - an online dating site clearly makes a mistake when it matches you with the one person you cannot stand

Polyonymous SOCIAL MEDIA - you met james on twitter three months ago, and you’ve talked everyday since. you really like him, and you don’t think you’ve met anyone like him. that is, until the fateful night that brings the avengers to you. you meet bucky barnes, and then you’re stuck choosing between two guys so alike you find yourself asking why they couldn’t be the same person

Something more FIC - after a bad breakup you ask your best friend to take your virginity. it’s just friends with benefits. what could possibly go wrong?

All the blind dates SOCIAL MEDIA - after finding out that your boyfriend was cheating on you, you agree to go a few blind dates to help you move on

Little lion man - sent on an assignment back to 1943, you encounter a drastically different version of the man you know

Soldat - when a hydra agent finds a way to hack into FRIDAY’s system to trigger bucky into the winter soldier, he nearly kills you. in the aftermath, he can’t begin to find a way to forgive himself. not without your help

Not so sweet dreams are made of this - sometimes, bucky’s nightmares get a bit too real. sometimes, they even become a reality

Drunk on you - bucky has always been nervous around you. when he’s tasked with caring for you after a night of heavy drinking and suddenly you’re kissing him, bucky doesn’t know what to do. you couldn’t possibly want him sober, right?

Fireworks - bucky barnes doesn’t do crowds. he certainly doesn’t do fireworks. but he’d follow you just about anywhere

Lavender - not every nightmare is the same and bucky doesn’t always wake up as the man you know

Feel again - instantly captivated by the woman the nurses have dubbed the ‘frequent flyer’ of the emergency department, Bucky can’t help but fall for y/n. he relishes every moment he can spend with her and with her apparent clumsiness, it’s quite often. that is, until he learns the real reason behind her injuries

A new start - woken from a nightmare plagued with memories from his time in hydra, bucky finds himself standing at a mirror at 3am holding a pair of scissors, determined to cut away the strongest connection he has left to that time. his hair

Cold, cold water - while on a stakeout in the heart of russia, bucky learns that touch can bring something more than pain and he will willingly give himself over to the ice if it means keeping you alive

The other side of the door - bucky would do anything to keep you safe. even if it meant sacrificing himself. even if it took him to the bottom of the ocean

A twice broken man - knowing what will happen if hydra ever captures him again, bucky asks the impossible of you. the road to recovery is not an easy one

I still need you - bucky tries to end his life. the reader has to give him a reason to live

Remembering him - the reader can play with minds and memories. she gets hired by tony stark to restore a certain super soldier’s memories

Camera view - while triggered into winter soldier mode, bucky nearly kills the reader

All yours - you have to flirt while on an undercover mission. bucky is jealous and not having any of it - smut

Unconventional night out - the reader meets bucky while they are both hiding inside a restaurant, one from a creepy guy at the bar, the other from a terrible blind date

Let me help you - reader is one of the only people that is kind to bucky (besides steve obviously) and he doesn’t understand why but the reader is too scared to say that theyre in love with him

Eight times - eight times Bucky Barnes said ‘I love you’ without saying ‘I love you’, and the one time he actually said it

Only thing that matters - t’s the morning after, and bucky makes it clear you mean more to him than he lets on

Milo - when a little black kitten won’t leave bucky alone, he has no choice but to take it home with him

Conscious - when bucky gets seriously injured on a mission, it’s your job to keep him awake until backup arrives

Trigger - while held captive during a mission gone wrong, bucky realizes that the enemy is going to trigger his winter soldier mode. in a panic and desperate to prevent that, he begs the reader to do the unthinkable

You"ll go away - the reader finally has bucky. but will her anxious mind ruin her newfound relationship?

Impaled - you’ve been pining after bucky for months. a compromising situation during a mission brings you a lot closer to him than you expected

Confessions after dark - you’d been in love with bucky barnes from the minute you set eyes on him. the only problem? bucky barnes had hated you from the minute he set eyes on you. when the two of you find yourselves forced together on an assignment, some unexpected revelations are made in the darkness of a shared motel room

Wanderlust adventures SOCIAL MEDIA - y/n is a popular travel blogger, and a freelance travel writer for a magazine. she travels the world with her two best friends, valkyrie who is a freelance graphic designer that the reader “drags” out of bed to see the world, and carol who’s a new up and coming model. this is the first time in a year all three girls are traveling together due to carol’s new busy career. a month long european excursion, that might end up being their last trip together due to their lives taking them elsewhere. bucky barnes used to be a model but now travels the world with his best friends. he has a hard time commiting to one thing, which is why he loves to travel so much. he travels the world with his two best friends, steve who runs a gym in brooklyn and sam, who works for a popular food magazine where he gets to travel and eat all the food he wants. bucky has once again convinced his childhood best friends to join him on a month long trip to escape the trapped feeling of being back in New York. steve and sam are worried about bucky and his constant need to runaway from his issues, they’re hoping this trip will be an eye opener for their friend

Oh no, that's bad SOCIAL MEDIA - you’re a college student, you’re mad angry, bucky ruins your paper, that’s not good is it?

SPY SOCIAL MEDIA - cap and sam recruit a new super soldier whilst on a mission in paris. when she moves into the avengers tower, she immediately hits it off with everyone, except bucky. will they ever make it past their differences enough to realise just how perfect they are together?

Promisse SOCIAL MEDIA - you and bucky met when you guys were kids. everyone that didn't know you thought that you were both dating, everyone that knew you thought you both should be dating each other. "we're just friends" were what you both will say when others ask if you're dating. but are you both really just friends?

Lost in a crowd SOCIAL MEDIA - Lilith Greene is in her junior year of her creative writing degree program. she's best friends with peter parker and his girlfriend MJ, and mostly spends her time telling the pair to get to class when she's not writing poetry

Sleep and other things

Took you long enough - ontrary to popular belief, sam qilson did care for bucky barnes. does he mess with him any chance he gets? yes, but he makes it so easy (and it’s always out of love). so when he notices the super assassin turn into super mush around a certain teammate, he knows he has to do something about it

Epiphany - "you keep saying that you're friends, but you look at him a moment too long for that to be true"

Are you leaving my love behind? - at lot can happen in five years, but even more can happen in a few months

I hate you, really hate you - you’re married and truths about your marriage are about to come to light

Years later - bucky doesn’t have the best of luck. or at least he didn’t until the day he finally met his soulmate

Why can't I say I'm in love? - as a young girl you went into town with your parents to see the villagers. that’s where you met one little boy who would change your life and your heart. but as the princess of the kingdom, there are things that are expected of you. falling in love with the baker’s son is not one of them

The first of many - sometimes people surprise you

Helpless - we were at a revel with some rebels on a hot night

GSW - after getting injured in Brooklyn, steve forces bucky to visit the local VA hospital

Late night devils - bucky gets revenge on his ex with you, the girl he never got over no matter how much he thought he did - smut

If the world was ending - bucky knows he’s still in love with you a year after the two of you mutually agreed to break up. when one phone call spirals into one plan being made and then another, and then suddenly he’s staying at your place, he wonders if there may be a chance to try again

Scorched - “you utterly destroyed me, you know that? I loved you more than I needed to breathe and you just walked away. I lost everything and you walked away”

Dog tags - you are a kept prisoner by hydra, your role is to fix soldat’s metal arm whenever it gets damaged in a mission. you grow fond of each other and you decide to save him

The only one FIC - you were in love with this guy and in college, you could’ve made it work but you had to go home and now 6 years later it might be too late to be with the only man you ever truly loved

Happiness FIC - you are best friends with bucky and then something happens that will change your relationship with him forever

Faking it FIC - you are sent on a mission by fury, only problem is your mission partner, and fake boyfriend, is the one person on the team you cannot stand

Always take care of you - some post-mission friskiness with bucky boy - smut

Undercover - you and bucky go on an undercover mission, where you need to pretend to be married. you are close to solving the case when bucky decides he’s done pretending

Rusted - the team encounters helmut zemo, who activates the winter soldier

Valentine's shots - bucky indulges in some bodyshots

The five times bucky saved you FIC - you have a special bond with bucky. he’s more than your best friend, your partner in missions, the person you care most about. he often saved you from uncomfortable situations, always ready to protect you, but sometimes, you are the one who did the saving

Fight for you FIC - at the annual local boxing championship, Y/N is the leading medical specialist on call. it’s a whole new environment, and despite the drastic change, she loves it. bucky barnes is the reigning boxing champion of brooklyn. virtually undefeated, this tattoo artist by day, boxer by night is someone that is now fighting his way into Y/N’s head. and she’s helpless in front of his winning streak

Flowers bloom FIC - whenever someone is injured, flowers bloom on their soulmate at the area of the wound. she is born with flowers around her entire left shoulder

Guiding light FIC - it was supposed to be a simple mission. get the intel and go home. until everything goes wrong and you’re taken captive by hydra. while you struggle to stay alive and hold your sanity, bucky begins to lose himself to a darkness and gives into the soldier because he doesn’t know how to breathe without you. not until he brings you home. If he even can

Home - fresh out of a divorce, Y/N moves to sun valley for a fresh start, a house left to her by her aunt and a new job as a nanny. James ‘bucky’ barnes owns a law firm and has been left with three kids after his wife died giving birth to their youngest. bucky is nervous about leaving the kids with a nanny but he cant keep finding babysitters and the kids need someone more permanent around

Sup, professor SOCIAL MEDIA - bucky barnes is the “most handsomest man” that you have ever laid your eyes on and oh, would you look at that. he's your professor

Oh no, it's you SOCIAL MEDIA - you have your life figured out, doing good in med school, moved on from your past, and even got a new job with that apartment that your family left you. oh would you look at that, your new neighbor is bucky barnes, a model and a rising actor. oh yeah, he also happens to be the guy that you claim to have moved on from. fuck

- Hey, it's me again - you got the wrong number but it’s okay you have nice memes and oh sure I can help you out and oh no..nonononononono….im not falling for you…..right?

What the hell, bucky? SOCIAL MEDIA - you and bucky grew up together as he lived right across the street. he’s the world’s biggest asshole, but also your most trusted confidant. no, you don’t have a crush on him. because bucky is steve’s friend and steve likes you

Dog tags - tony holds a ball, and your boyfriend get’s a little distracted when he sees you

Assert dominance

Love by mistake SOCIAL MEDIA

All in my head SOCIAL MEDIA - y/n l/n makes some friends who all live on the same floor in the dorms. they are all freshman health and human development majors at NYU

Savior - you and bucky are trapped in a HYDRA base and about to be killed. or maybe not…

Bad boys do it well - rumor is that bucky wants to ask you out but word on the street was that you didn’t date bad boys

Intimacy - you tend to your boyfriend's wounds after he returns from a mission and you share an intimate moment

No subtleties

Salt

Cuddle with me - steve did not expected to find his best friend there

Ocean eyes - this is the story of James bucky barnes learning what love and being loved is like

Best friends - you're best friends with bucky but you struggle with being around him due the fact that you heya feelings for him and boy does he love to flirt. you talk to Steve all the time about your liking towards bucky and how you think he may like you back but then you start to notice how close he's gotten with Natasha and that thread of hope flies out the window

- Best friends part 2

I'm breaking up with you - bucky tries breaking up with you but you're not having it

Shy - you like bucky but every time you try and talk to him, he avoids you

- Shy part 2

Art - bucky is insecure about his metal arm

Only you can do that

Insults - reader and bucky can't get along one day while they are arguing bucky realizes he actually likes her and starts to act weird and she confronts him about his acts

I love you

Worries - bucky overhears that you worry that he will leave you natasha

Underneath the mistletoe - there's a Christmas party and sam uses redwing to hold a mistletoe over people making them kiss and he keeps trying to get bucky and y/n but bucky keeps running away cause he's nervous and scared cause he has a huge crush on her

My girl - bucky saw your ex kiss you and bucky goes wild and attacks him

Seduce me - bucky has to be with you yo protect you in an operation where you have to flirt and seduce someone and he goes all jealous

Suck a flirt - bucky gets drunk and flirts with reader

Fool

Realization - Y/N is in love with bucky but he is dating and in love with someone else. however the girl broke his heart and he finally realizes a year after his heartbreak that he loves Y/N

Distance - you’re insecure that bucky still likes natasha and will leave you for her and you start to distance yourself from him and it hurts him when you two barely talk anymore

Pick me - reader need help with a world history unit abou the WWII, so the two super soldiers fight over who’s going to help her

Camping - the whole team went on a camping trip and they all knew that bucky and the reader have feelings for each other, so they decided to them in one tent

Joint custody - reader and bucky broke up, having to share time with their kid which ultimately brings them back together

8,66 - “are you eating again?” “you look good enough to eat”

3 - “this is me. I am the eye of the storm and my heart is a little broken but if you want me, I’m yours”

Bottles, babies and bucky SOCIAL MEDIA - Y/N and bucky are a couple of newlyweds eager to bask in their honeymoon period after their dream wedding. However, they soon find that this won’t be easy with 3 rambunctious small children running around the Brooklyn small apartment the family lives in. what happens when Y/N finds out she’s expecting? how will she tell bucky who made it very clear that their third child was also to be their last?

Weekend at bucky’s SOCIAL MEDIA - workaholic bucky barnes is a successful CEO of a prosthetics company that works endlessly to meet the needs of the people in desperate need of his products. his best friends steve rogers-wilson and sam wilson-rogers signed up the CEO for a nightly adult writing class after he let slip his desire to write his own story but currently lacked the skills to do so. Y/N is the teacher of this particular class whilst she trains to become a kindergarten teacher, she lives with her roommates natasha romanoff and wanda maximoff however it feels more like she has 4 roommates the amount of time her friends better halves spend at their small brooklyn apartment. they keep her sweet with clints amazingly good brownies and vision is just a wonder of personality in Y/N’s opinion. what will happen between the two when they meet and get to know each other at these classes? what happens when Bucky invites Y/N to spend the weekend at his cabin upstate? will take them a weekend to fall in love? or a weekend to fall out of it?

Coffe and cratons SOCIAL MEDIA - kindergarten teacher bucky barnes suddenly finds himself becoming a frequent customer of a cozy little coffee shop, newly opened around the corner of his school. self-proclaimed queen of coffee and the shop’s owner Y/N quickly finds herself giving barnes the title of “favourite customer”. will caffeine simply be their only addiction or will they find a new release within each other?

TEXT

Words left unsaid SOCIAL MEDIA - you’re a graduate student at a university pursuing a doctorate degree in biology while also working in a prestigious lab under alexander pierce. however, the university requires you to take an english course to ensure you are fully competent in teaching a course and able to write your dissertation. lucky for you, you’re allowed to take an undergraduate english class, which would be much easier than an upper division one. with a full graduate course load, teaching a 4-hour anatomy lab and working in lab the rest of the days, this english class is the least of your worries. but once you meet your professor, that all changes; you were never interested in anyone or had time for anyone. but for him, you’re willing to try

Trepidation - everything in your world was right until bucky’s ex girlfriend came along

- Trepidation part 2

- Trepidation part 3

“You have a what?” - your 5 year old daughter comes home from school and says she has a boyfriend this doesn’t sit well with bucky

I love you too

I need your help FIC - bucky gets an invitation to a family friends wedding and it turns out that his ex girlfriend will be attending as well. panicked at the thought of seeing her, he asks you, his best friend to attend the wedding with him as his girlfriend in attempts to show his ex that he’s moved on

Don’t say anything FIC - you finally decide to tell bucky that you’ve been in love with him since the day you met but what happens when you walk in on him with a girl? and not just any girl; natasha

Heartbroken - bucky cheats on the reader, she’s heartbroken and he realizes what he’s done, so he decide to do everything to get his girl back

Before it's too late FIC - bucky starts dating a girl from his history of art class. the only problem: you’re in love with him

Protective barnes - reader’s ex-boyfriend comes back to pick up some things and meets bucky, her new boyfriend

He understood - you try and convince bucky to attend tony's funeral

First date - what happens when Y/N forgets about her date with bucky and is babysitting her niece?

Sprained ankle - movie night at the tower goes south when someone sprains an ankle

It's 3 AM - Y/N has a nightmare about bucky and needs to make sure he is okay

Neighbors - Y/N is bucky’s neighbor and they find each other super adorable

A bit of warning would be nice - bucky is gets nervous when Y/N and sam come back late from a hike together

Glasses - Y/N’s contact lenses met an unfortunate fate which leads to her wearing her glasses

Unexpected - Y/N’s ex shows up unexpectedly. she feels scared that he is going to show up at her apartment so she asks bucky to stay the night

- Unexpected part 2

Gone - bucky is met with some trouble on a mission and loses contact with Y/N, who is helping him back at the tower

Hands off - you’re Steve’s cousin and he has some rules when it comes to you that bucky isn’t a fan of. mainly, that he can’t have you

Sometime around midnight - bucky lost you once…but he can’t again

Break you - bucky has himself a winter soldier episode, nearly killing his girlfriend as a result

A fear that changes - it was not the winter soldier that scared you, even on his worst day. no, what had scared you more than anything else was bucky barnes

What did I do wrong - bucky doesn't understand what he could have possibly done to lose the love of his life

Help a buddy out - you and bucky are roommates and you ask for him to teach you to be better at sex so you can please another guy

Clouds - bucky overhears something unsettling at a party

He's not the one

That's my girl

The bet

Second chance - Y/N gives bucky a home, a family, a love, a second chance

I'll never forget

Safe house - when a mission goes south, you make it a personal mission to make your boyfriend bucky barnes see the light at the end of the tunnel by taking him to your safe house

You don't have to be alone

Three ways you can dance - one can dance in three ways; fists, feet and lips

Toothpaste kisses - in which Y/N makes herself at home, and bucky is only too happy about it

Homesick of home - in which the reader finds herself at her childhood home, away from the person she truly considers her actual home

Fond of the classics - when the sexual tension between you and bucky is stifling, natasha becomes her scheming, conniving self - smut

The best life - in which you tell your favourite people (what could be) the best news in the world

"Someone like me doesn't get happy endings"

Paris

Deathcycle

Something new - short blurb about you sitting on bucky’s face because I’m a sucker for face sitting and for bucky

Angry

Drunken girls night - just a cute bucky blurb of bucky taking care of you when you come home drunk

Going down - “I have found a new home, and it’s between your thighs.” bucky said cheekily, “I’d rather say here for a while”

End of the day - you: I want to watch horror movies with your hand either down my pants or stroking my hair. I can’t decide. bucky, your hot detective boyfriend: I have two hands, I can do both ;)

Troublemaker - you thank bucky in your own wonderful way. he kinda loves it

Laundry day - well, it’s laundry day and it turns out to be eventful

Possible-future-girlfriend - bucky claims you can’t flirt for shit, you prove him wrong

Home - after a rough mission, bucky just wants to go home. he learns what that word truly means when he gets there

Only love can hurt like this

Speak up - Y/N’s gotta stop mouthing off… or does she?

The power of a promise - you and bucky are taking a trip to visit your parents and he promises to behave

Love like ours - "I want to kiss every inch of your body before I fuck you"

Another bad day - "I wanna take my time with you tonight" "yes I know I cry a lot, so what?"

Your bucky

Bucky to the rescue - "I'd rather die than let you get hurt"

Beautiful morning - "have I told you that you look the most beautiful when you wake up?"

Kisses - "quick, kiss me!"

Family time

A bet

My gorgeous queen - "excuse you! have you ever looked at your reflection? you're so gorgeous I wanna stab out my eye!"

Are you afraid? - reader finds out she's pregnant and is absolutely petrified to tell bucky because he's still in recovery and it was unplanned

Playing to win - game night takes an exciting turn and bucky’s answer to a particular question really gets you thinking

The ball pit - "I don't want to lose you"

That's a promise - "I'm gonna fuck you so much you'll be pissing my cum for days to come"

Hand tricks - "blindfolds heighten your senses, maybe that's why you're whimpering louder than usual"

Caught with your pants down - walking in the common room and finding bucky playing with himself on the couch in his sleep

Hunger - bucky is trying out some new recipes for the restaurant, he asks you to have a taste and you ask for a cooking lesson

Beautiful - bucky is dating reader who struggles with her wight feeling like she's too skinny, oe not curvy enough to be with them

Sweet frostings - baking peanut butter cupcakes for bucky while he's away on a mission

Lucky charm - bucky rescues you in more ways than one

I'm not scared - bucky and reader snuggling up for the first time. reader's hesitant to lay their head on his left shoulder. seeing him deflate they admit they're just scared it might hurt him when they lay their head where metal meets flesh

Unrequited

- Unrequited part 2

Good morning, soldier! - reader walking into bucky’s room to surprise him for his birthday, and reader is flustered when she sees he is buck naked on top of the sheets and subconsciously playing with himself in his sleep

Love in bloom - it’s your birthday and bucky makes the day special in every way, even taking you to a place you’ve always wanted to visit in spring

Like the good ole days - reader and bucky in quarantine

Match mode - being rebecca’s caretaker and with her when her brother bucky shows up to reconnect one day. she also may or may not play matchmaker between the two of you

I need you

Chibis everywhere - showing bucky all the cute and funny chili fan arts of him

Confessions of love - you confess your feelings for bucky to natasha during a girl’s night. completely unaware of a certain pair of ears listening

Helping a roomie out - bucky is your new roommate, a hot delicious snack on legs

Smell of roses - “fuck you smell so good.” “did I smell bad yesterday?”

Past and present - reader ends up during the 30s and meets "young" bucky. she always had a crush on him but he never indicated he'd interested in her. 30s!buckys immediately wants to take her on a date and everything

Flaws - reader and bucky arguing over each other's personality flaws during a rough round of sex - smut

It's not a micro - he hasn’t been in a relationship for a long time. all his dates seem to hit it and quit it. you have this thing… you tease him that they don’t stick around because he’s got a micro-cock. one day he shows you exactly how wrong you are

Sassy doll - “there’s a reason I don’t celebrate my birthday.” “is it because you’re so old you don’t even remember when it was?”

Just gettin' started - "kiss my ass" "sucky my dick"

No more games - "when we get home, I'm cuffing you to the bed and going down on you all night" "fine by me, you look hot with you head between my legs"

Heart of gold - bucky finds you hanging out with loki and he immediately thinks it’s because you like him. problem is, bucky likes you…now what!?!

Say it again - on a regular night at the compound you’re all drinking wine and having fun when things get a little heated between you and bucky…

Finders keepers - oreos, bucky’s henley and scary movies…

The secret drawer - bucky accidentally finds your large dildo/vibrator in your secret drawer in the bedroom

Secrets - “Did you fart? It smells like ass in here.” “Not my fault you finally smell your own scent.”

Drench me - "spit on my pussy. make me really wet"

Race to the finish - an innocent game of mario kart turns into much more when you get a feel of bucky’s beard

Don't even think about it - bucky threatens to shave off his beard so you come up with a plan to thwart his efforts…

Not my name - reader is tired of shitty sex and clint’s constant teasing. bucky decides to take matters into his own hands

Feeling is mutual - "can you feel what you do to me?"

Morning goodness - bucky and reader are in a new relationship and reader sleeps over for the first time, unexpectedly feeling the morning wood rubbing up against their ass

Sex on the... what? - "I really wanna have a sex on the beach" "it's winter though" "no you dummy, I meant the drink"

Whatever you say, pal - "I once had a woman pass out from an orgasm" "really? can't imagine what from. my banana is longer than your wiener"

The slip-up - bucky accidentally calling a new recruit "doll" and kinda hates how close she gets to him, making the reader jealous

I told you so - bucky is sick and mentions being horny

Come back, come back to me - "look at my horny and sex staved little doll. you're dripping onto my sheets"

He finds out your secret

Nat calls you a prude and your secret is revealed

Find you - after he broke off with you, you got a phone call that left you worried, you had no chance but to find hi and make sure he was okay

Because he can

Motorcycle - bucky punishing you by putting you on the back of his motorcycle with no panties while he rides fast and the feeling of the vibrations of the bike between your legs has you soaked

Daddy kink - reader has a daddy kink and Bucky finds out an teases her about it and makes her cum so many times, she’ll think she passes out

Age gap - where reader is significantly younger than bucky

Never leaving you - reader is alone in the tower and someone breaks in shooting her

I want to cuddle - reader with needy bucky

Protection - tony Starks little sister is in a failing relationship. they are at the tower arguing and Tony came in the room just as the guy was hitting her, but before he could do something about it, bucky storms over and knocks the guy through the wall

Halloween party

Leather jacket

The video - reader sees videos of bucky being tortured by hidra

Warmth - reader gets cold really easily and bucky keeps her warm

Dylan o'brien - bucky being jealous and extremely annoyed over you fangirl-ing over dylan o'brien new movie

Clingy - the boys tease bucky over him being a clingy and protective boyfriend

Secret admirer - bucky gets jealous and protective when he finds out that a man has been showering you, his wife, with gifts and presents and letters and confronts that man

I would never hurt you - bucky and reader don't get along, and he keeps making snarky comments and eventually the reader gets into a huge argument with him, he raises his metal hand and the reader gets scared

Shopping - you're Natasha's best friend and wanted to go shopping with her but she gets called to a mission. bucky sees you being pissed and offers to help

Bucky's plan - you and bucky are together, and bucky gets it in his head that'd be a great idea to dance with another woman ate a party to make you jealous

You deserve better - pietro is an ass to the reader and she is like best friends with buck

Safe - where steve goes to bucks apartment but instead of just bucky, he found too bucky's heavily pregnant girlfriend

Clint's daughter - reader is clint's daughter and last time bucky saw her was when she was younger and now she's grown up and he starts feeling things

- Clint's daughter part 2

- Clint's daughter part 3

Russian bucky - bucky pretending not to know english n only speaking russian and he overhears you talking about him

Suprise - you're bucky girlfriend and one day you surprise him after work in his room to see him just in some sweats after he had a shower

Short hair - steve one day takes bucky to get a haircut like the old days and he comes back to the tower handsome asf

Self defense trainer - bucky gives self defense lessons in his free time and you're there to take lessons

More than fucky buddies - you and bucky were having some kind of secret affair while living in the tower but also developed strong feelings for each other

You're good enough for me - bucky being insecure and jealous of pietro

Not so shy - you and bucky are a couple and all the other avengers ship you a lot

Not good enough - reader thinks she isn't good enough for bucky and thinks she doesn't have a chance, but unbeknownst to her, bucky loves everything about her

Shy - you're dating bucky but you're also a bit shy and you feel bad about it, but bucky thinks it's totally cute and loves it

Movie night - reader and bucky hate each other, and one night at the tower it's movie night and reader takes bucky's seat and when bucky comes back he tells her to get up but she doesn't

You and bucky don't get along

- You and bucky don't get along part 2

- You and bucky don't get along part 3

Save me

Mission impossible

The acquisition FIC - you are part of a business merger. can you make it through with your heart still intact, or will the winter solder tear you apart?

Cookies make everything better - your son has a nightmare and bucky makes cookies to make him feel better

Dream walker - you are able to enter bucky’s dream to help him

Distraction - bucky helps you in your time of need

Insatiable - "we've been at it like rabbits, how are you still horny?"

Saddle up! - bucky takes you for more than one good ride

When things get rough - bucky being soft and gorgeous while pretending to be your loving husband and being so good at it that you're both not sure if you're only pretending anymore until he gets jealous

I'll be okay - day in bed with bucky

His type - bucky reaction to hearing such lies coming from readers mouth when she's talking to her friend on the phone and is convinced she stands zero chance with him

Blind date

Medic

A touch of blue - you love wearing bucky’s henleys and his new blue one is too good to pass up

- A touch of blue part 2

Cocktail - you love to visit bucky at work

- Cocktail part 2

Bartender - bucky and you having sex on the bar after it closes

First for everything - losing your virginity to college bucky

Undercover lover - you and bucky are acting as a married couple on an undercover cop assignment. everything is under control until some asshole decides to get handsy

"You still have all of me, however broken I am"

Like this - body massage with bucky

Always - stripper reader with biker bucky

In the alley - you and bucky disagree on how you handled your mission

Big boy barnes - having sex with bucky for the first time and underestimate his size

Eavesdropping - "how long have you been standing there?"

Scream for me - smut with no plot

Mishaps - bartender bucky

Fun at the BBQ - reader gets cheeky during the summer BBQ

Only yours - "your ass is gonna be seven different shades of red after that little stunt

Faster, soldier - "faster" "I need you to hold onto something then"

The mall

I wish we were alone now - "I can't wait until we're alone. there are so many things I want to do to you right now"

Homecoming - 40s bucky

Six steamy sentences

Bucky has a hard time - sam mixed bucky's pills up and he's accidentally taken some viagra. now he's rock hard in the middle of Siberia with you in a tent

Better than a dream - bucky has a wet dram and trudges to reader's room in the early morning for sex

The edge of glory - you and bucky try something new in the bedroom

Food for thought - "stick your fingers in the pie and have a taste! it's delicious!" "I'd rather stick them in you"

Soft beard, warm beard - "tour beard is so soft"

Seal the deal - you and make make a deal over a game of twister

My face, your boxers

Pretty girl - bucky barnes is your mentor as tony stark puts you through the ultimate training before you’re officially named an avenger. however, working with bucky proves to be difficult as his cold nature to your only makes you want him more

Squat here often? - the thought alone preens another wet moan straight from the base of your throat. bucky picks up on it, nuzzling the shape of his lips into the source with a hum. his voice is a soft cradle on the bare skin. “you’re something carved straight from a teenage wet dream. so tight and little .. always bent over. sometimes, I just want to haul you to the locker room mid set and bend you over one of those benches”

Surprise

Ditto - you and bucky are on a mission and forced to share the king sized bed. with wouldn't usually have been a problem if you and bucky didn't hate each other's guts

Thirsty

Knife skills

All of me

Tall, dark and handsome

Silence - bucky is distant and you don't know what to do

Like your eyes - you have a crush on bucky Barnes and watch helplessly as he gets dressed for his date

Wrong side of the bed - bucky is in a bad mood and accidentally snaps at reader who is very shy and timid and she spends the day in her room

Pineapple pizza - being forced into getting a personal trainer by your friend, you soon find yourself swooning for the man himself

- Pineapple pizza part 2

Mentor - bucky barnes is your mentor that you have developed a crush on, one night feelings are revealed and you say the wrong thing, immediately regretting everything

Cozy - cozy cuddles and banter with bucky

Hot chocolate - bucky's cafe is your little sweet escape

Pda - a view of bucky and his struggle with pda

The five times you lay your eyes on bucky

Cold - you’re in the shop with bucky as he works on fixing up his bike, getting colder by the minute, until you decide to ask bucky to warm you up

Tradition - who knew bucky was one for a holiday tradition?

Daydream - you and bucky intimately reconnect with one another

Man's best friend - you take in your neighbours dog for a night only to learn that a dog is man’s best wingman

I quit - while working as a nanny for bucky barnes, you slowly develop feelings for him, only growing more and more in love with him

Groceries - you encounter bucky barnes and his five year old son during a trip to the supermarket, little did you know that little leo was the world’s greatest wingman

Nsfw alphabet

Favorite girl - bucky barnes is the leader of the most dangerous mob in new york city, but when he finds you, his favourite dancer, at his local strip club he can’t help but fall for you. but he wants you to be more than his favourite dancer, he wants you to be his favourite and only girl

Impatient - with bucky’s busy lifestyle you don’t get him to yourself often, so when you think he’s finally free you intend to have him all to yourself

Best friends daughter - bucky barnes walks with confidence and elegance radiating off of him, tantalizing everyone he meets. you met your dad’s best friend with no intentions of falling for him, but it seems the universe had different plans

The busted shower head - a busted shower head results in mind-blowing shower sex with your neighbour, who also happens to be your dad’s best friend

More than perfect

Cafe au latte - bucky stars working at the coffe shop you own and feelings happen

Scorned - losing your father and natasha was enough. now, the man who you have sacrificed every fiber of your soul to is leaving you too

Asleep - soft bedtime interaction

This is not a drill - reader and daughter play a prank on bucky

7/87 - "do you want some soup?" "oh my god, I love you"

17/18 - "you're so warm" "you're freezing, jesus"

33/34 - "sometimes I just want to cuddle, okay? is that so bad?" "now I know half my wardrobe went"

64/69/88 - “I can’t believe you eat pineapple on pizza…what sort of monster are you?" “I don’t think I could love you anymore than I already do.” “put me down! I can walk!”

Morning pancakes - a cheerful morning turns into one of anger and snakes

Not you - bucky has loved the reader for three years. she has loved him for two. both are dumbasses, and sam is fed up

Gone for too long - reader leaves for a mission that should take around a week, but as the days roll by, bucky gets more and more worried

Don't let me fall - bucky and the reader have been blissfully been together for three months, the two absolutely and utterly in love. but when a mission goes wrong and leaves the reader in a coma, barely clinging to life, bucky fears that he might break and this time forever

Reciprocated - after being bothered by brock rumlow’s incessant pestering of asking the reader out, she agrees but obviously regrets it. she has a ginormous crush on the star quarterback bucky barnes, who unbeknownst to her is absolutely head over heels for the girl and when she needs help getting rid of brock, he turns into her knight in shining armour

A promise kept - the reader is a SHIELD agent that used to be a double agent for hydra where she found and fell in love with bucky. but zemo has found him as well and time is ticking for the reader to save the man she loves

You don't have to be alone - reader has recently broken her leg and the only two people in the tower are pretty much her and bucky. usually, that wouldn’t be a problem but her major crush on the guy could cause some awkward moments and when feelings are revealed things can drastically change

Not pretending - reader’s reunion is just around the corner, which means meeting her ex. they used to be high school sweethearts, but after she found out he was cheating she broke up with him. but now, still being single, the reader feels like she needs to bring someone and when bucky offers his assistance, feelings might be revealed

Deserving - bucky and the reader have been together for half a year now, and he’s never felt happier. but when peter parker gets a crush on the reader, bucky slowly starts to think that maybe he isn’t the right one for her

#favs

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danwhobrowses · 4 years

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Valentines 2020: A Celebration of My Ships

So it’s valentine’s day again, and...yeah it’s not too great when you’re single is it? Considering that I’ve already gone through a tub of ice cream...

But, it doesn’t mean I’m a cynic, quite the opposite. Most of my fandoms involves a ship in some shape or form, hell I shipped before I even knew what shipping was, so I’m gonna talk about some of them...the ones that still make me happy and didn’t crash and burn in heartbreaking and frankly insulting fashion (looking at you Homestuck ¬_¬), gotta mention that these are not all the ships I ship, they’re just some of the ones I’m quite consistently high on

New Entries So with new fandoms come new ships...as is the usual formula anyway, though my pattern of watching things is usually with some delay, I only watched Rurouni Kenshin and started My Hero Academia in 2019, I still hold off on Attack on Titan and My Hero Season 4 because if I get in, I get IN. So these fandoms may not be new, but they are new to me Steven Universe is very new to me, I’ve been aware of how good it is and their concepts like Fusion. I like it, particularly Lapis Lazuli I really relate to her, but ship wise the two I really like are the obvious ones; Steven x Connie and Ruby x Sapphire (Garnet)

Garnet is badass and chill at the same time, but when she unfuses we see the stuff that makes me smile, the pda between Ruby and Sapphire is adorable, the little pecks and whatnot softens me up like no man’s business. Steven and Connie also have the mushy dynamic with both of them deeply into each other but still being strong individuals. The love for each other is equally platonic as it is romantic as they gel together, both being strong willed in different ways. The laughter probably gets me the most with both of them, the genuine laughter is so sweet and so realistic it’s hard not to love. My Hero Academia seems to be our next wave of shonen anime and for good reason, it does high notes so well and the cast of characters are vibrant and exciting. I haven’t hit Season 4 yet since I’m waiting till it’s all done to binge so I may be a little behind on some stuff (sadly it’s hard to avoid spoilers, I know about Infinity and Unbreakable). While I do like Deku x Uraraka, Tetsutetsu x Kendo and Eraserjoke but the two that I find most enjoyable are Todomomo and Kamijirou

(artist nonoko135 btw, bit tough to find a single image with both ships) Fairly popular ships in their own right, Todomomo doesn’t get many hints but they are sweet, naive rich kids with their own confidence issues, it also feels like they look out for each other especially after the final exam they did together. With Kamijirou though it’s probably one I favour if I had to choose between the two, simply because it’s a dynamic I really like; she busts on him so hard to mask her enjoyment of his company and he takes it because he feels at ease around her, the best part is when Kaminari goes 0 volts, he makes her laugh and that’s kinda big for Jirou given how self-conscious and stoic she can be. Rurouni Kenshin was always on my list, I have often heard about the Swordsman with a blade that cuts no-one. The anime is a bit up and down, after Shishio it’s just filler, but as documented in my Redemption Arc post it is at its core a great story of redemption for the main character, and the driving force for Kenshin’s redemption is his love for Kaoru

While Sano and Megumi have a unique dynamic hinted to be romantic at times, nothing can really beat Kenshin and Kaoru, she literally became Kenshin’s conscience, a representation of his hope to be a good man away from the shadow of Battousai the Manslayer. It may be your traditional romance of the two wanting to be by each other’s side in danger but it works so well given the kind of danger Kenshin is often in. Kaoru still strives to protect herself and aid Kenshin in a way that doesn’t make her continuously wonder about being a burden and Kenshin does everything in his power to keep Kaoru from pain, physical and emotional, even if it meant leaving to keep her safe. The main part of what makes this lovely is the fact that not only did Kaoru’s influence make Kenshin value his own life once more but after continual torment in his past she still saw him as the person he wanted to be, and welcomed in a new home, a new family he was able to live a life he never imagined he could deserve. The Regulars Our Regulars are the ships I still consistently ship, they’re not very old but they’re still pretty great and they still stand the test of time. Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. has quite a few ships over its 6 (coming up 7) season lifespan, being the longest surviving MCU tv series and one of the most consistently great shows MCU offered - especially Season 4, some of the best TV was on Season 4. But while Philinda is close, Mack and Yoyo or even Piper and Davis (don’t, I don’t care if you believe she’s a lesbian with the hots for May these are my ships) there is one one ship in Shield you can all rally behind, Fitzsimmons

Even when canon it is a consistent emotional rollercoaster. One of those ships where the writers know you love it and decide to put you through as much pain and emotional torment as humanely possible. But you endure it, because these two smart kids are worth it. They have sweet moments, badass moments, emotional moments and even though they get brought apart time and time again, they still find each other, the universe cannot stop them - and it better end happily for them come next season. Overwatch was a phenomenon when it came out a few years ago, Blizzard may have caused it to have some heavily bad rep but I still look forward to its sequel coming out. Given its large roster and most of the characters’ sexuality and relationship status up in the air, it leaves a lot of room for shipping. I do still love Anahardt, Mercy76 kinda falling due to 76 being gay but I like Gency too, my rarepairs include McPharah and Symmzo but my favourite is actually Meihem.

Now I know, Mei’s only voice lines towards Junkrat are cold, they have differing views in terms of omnics and...due process of the law. But there’s a lot they do have in common; both are quite intelligent engineers having made their weapons by hand, both endured trauma and both love their puns. But even the stuff that make them different can compliment one another. You don’t have to like it, but I do, I enjoy the dynamic of Jamison being so head over heels that he embarrasses himself to try and get Mei’s attention, while Mei softens to the fact that his very nature is warped by his lawless upbringing and that deep down he is an exciting and in his own way sweet guy. Back to anime, because what else do I do with my day, getting into One Piece was always going to be a long effort, keeping tabs on the Manga does make it easier and I’ve been able to catch up quickly. Ships are shaky territory with One Piece because Oda does make a point of not having romance happen a lot, not to existing living characters at least. But I still have the ones I like; Shanks x Makino, Sabo x Koala, Franky x Robin, Sanji x Pudding, Rebecca x Koby, the list goes on, but my favourite has to be Zoro x Tashigi

May not be up there with the ‘big ships’ of One Piece but I do enjoy them the most. Individually the two are characters I have deep interest in; Zoro is well Roronoa Fucking Zoro, santoryu swordsman extraordinaire, master of nothing happening and will cut you 8 ways to Sunday, but Tashigi is a character I like because she also tries, unlike Zoro she isn’t blessed with 2 years training with Mihawk and she’s at constant arms with this self doubt that as a Woman she won’t be as strong (and probably whoever of influence to her made her believe such a thing), people may get on her back for never winning a fight but she fights strong people without a second thought. But back to the pairing, they have an interesting dynamic; two very similar people on different sides of the law, I don’t think Tashigi continues to chase him simply because he refused to cut her in their fight and I don’t think it’s just her former resemblance to Kuina that gets Zoro so riled up about her, I mean Zoro is usually so chill to side characters to the point where he’s ready to throw down but with Tashigi, it’s different, they bicker but he also came to her aid. I still continue to hope that Tashigi shows in Wano for more Zoro interaction, and to prove herself to fans and to Zoro that she is strong and capable. One of my favourite anime of all time is Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood, a combination of laughter, tears and deep philosophical character journeys in a 20th century world with the alchemy fantasy element drawn from actual legit alchemical sources. It just hits all the right notes for me, and ships hit right too; I love most of the ships from EdWin, AlMay and LingFan, but like Fitzsimmons there is one ship that stands above even the main characters, Royai.

Mustang and Hawkeye right from the bat have that connection that needs no dancing around, they care for each other but they work together. Like the rest of the ships they banter, argue but always have each other’s backs, to the point that they go into an insane rage at even the threat of the other being hurt. I don’t think anyone can not ship these two, that’s how strong their chemistry is, even if they can’t officially label it as a relationship because of their jobs it’s that line in the sand that everyone knows it, because it’s impossible to ignore. The Old Guard So we get to the oldest ships in my catalogue, the fact that they could stand the test of time is for a long time what shaped me as a shipper. I still ship these to this day so I ship them pretty hardcore Comics is probably the hardest place to ship something, because different writers will try different pairings at the drop of a hat. Even consistent pairings like Spiderman and Mary Jane, Batman and Catwoman, Beat Boy and Raven, Superman and Lois and more can end up being split in favour of Cindy Moon (I do love Silk), Wonder Woman and others. But I can’t ignore the fact that I’ve always loved Dick Grayson and Barbara Gordon

I may’ve liked Teen Titans, but I was never on Team Starfire, it’s fine if you are but to me I have always been in with Dick and Babs. Not only do they have excellent banter but they gel well on and off of crime fighting, no matter how many times DC break them apart (like seriously, how many times do you have to try Bruce and Barbara until you realise that it creeps people out?) they always find each other again someway down the line, they are one of DC’s best couples and while they may never get a definitive ending because of the nature of comics, I still love that there’s a relationship of two strong individuals who can stand as equals and continue to keep their charm and wit after years of being together. When I was young, decades ago as it pains me to type, Digimon was the prime competitor against Pokémon’s tidal wave. Its anime had an awesome opening, more characters with some deeper themes and a quicker pacing. While many could quickly connect to Tai or Matt for their leaderlike attitude or Joe and Izzy for their intelligence or Mimi and Sora for their determination, I gravitated towards TK, a child who had room to grow and the greatest of potential, so when the Dark Masters came in we saw one of my oldest ships take form, Takari

TK and Kari’s pairing was popular that it managed to carry on into Adventure 02 and we got plenty of lovely moments in TRI (though they shorthanded both by having Ophanimon quickly fused and Seraphimon - one of the strongest Digimon - digivolve as backup in a Sora episode). 02′s epilogue is of course a sore spot we can hope Kizuna retcons because these two have been through thick and thin and their bond is clear. Even as they reach their late teens and TK has become master of hats and joined Matt’s band, they still hang out, banter and tease but they still are comfortable to hold each other’s hand and be vulnerable with one another too. Digimon may’ve been a contender, but Pokémon was still the clear winner, even to this day it is one of the most popular franchises in the world. The anime may be an up and down slope (current series seems a tad boring, 10 episodes before Ash caught a Pokémon, plus I don’t like that Ash won in Alola and now thinks he doesn’t have to try) but you can never take away the nostalgia, or the ships. I’ve shipped many in Pokémon in various media; Mallow x Lillie and Jessie x James in the anime, Ruby x Sapphire in the Manga, Looker x Anabel in the games (with Emma being their adoptive daughter dammit Looker you could’ve taken her with) among others and from Pokémon comes the oldest ship I’ve ever shipped, Pokéshipping

Before I even knew what Shipping was I shipped this, Misty may also be mostly the reason for my attraction to redheads but that’s neither here nor there. People may not like it, may prefer some of the softer spoken female (or male) companions Ash has had or feel they’ve grown out of it, but not me. I loved Misty’s feistiness and determination but also the fact that she could reign Ash in (sometimes) to make him think things through, as much as Misty was a companion to Ash she was a rival, a teacher and a supporter of his goal, but she also had her own goals which she fought for as well. They may bicker but they have also had tender moments as well and even with Misty’s return in the excellent Sun and Moon episodes they had their chemistry is palpable. To me, Ash and Misty were kindred spirits and the feeling has never changed since. So with another year of Valentine’s Day going the way it usually does, I’d like a moment to thank these ships, and all my other ships I didn’t have the space to mention, for being something that brings out happiness and a soft joy deep within my being, and for all the fanartists and fanfic writers that bring that love to life Happy Valentine’s Day

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dinaxoxo · 4 years

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I love you early in the morning and it’s difficult to love you. I love the January sky and knowing it will change although unlike us. I love watching people read. I love photo booths. I love midnight. I love writing letters and this is my letter. To the world that never wrote to me. I love snow and briefly. I love the first minutes in a warm room after stepping out of the cold. I love my twenties and want them back every day. I love time. I love people. I love people and my time away from them the most. I love the part of my desk that’s darkened by my elbows. I love feeling nothing but relief during the chorus of a song. I love space. I love every planet. I love the big unknowns but need to know who called or wrote, who’s coming—if they want the same things I do, if they want much less. I love not loving Valentine’s Day. I love how February is the shortest month. I love that Barack Obama was president. I love the quick, charged time between two people smoking a cigarette outside a bar. I love everyone on Friday night. I love New York City. I love New York City a lot. I love that day in childhood when I thought I was someone else. I love wondering how animals perceive our daily failures. I love the lines in Cat on a Hot Tin Roof when Brick’s father says “Life is important. There’s nothing else to hold onto.” I love Brick. I love that we can fail at love and continue to live. I love writing this and not knowing what I’ll love next. I love looking at paintings and being reminded I am alive. I love Turner’s paintings and the sublime. I love the coming of spring even in the most withholding March. I love skipping anything casual—“hi, how are you, it’s been forever”—and getting straight to the center of pain. Or happiness. I love opening a window in a room. I love the feeling of possibility by the end of the first cup of coffee. I love hearing anyone listen to Nina Simone. I love Nina Simone. I love how we can choose our own families. I love when no one knows where I am but feel terrified to be forgotten. I love Saturdays. I love that despite our mistakes this will end. I love how people get on planes to New York and California. I love the hour after rain and the beginning of the cruelest month. I love imagining Weldon Kees on a secret island. I love the beach on a cloudy day. I love never being disappointed by chocolate. I love that morning when I was twenty and had just met someone very important (though I didn’t know it) and I walked down an almost empty State Street because it was still early and not at all late—and of course I could change everything (though I also didn’t know it)—I could find anyone, go anywhere, I wasn’t sorry for who I was. I love the impulse to change. I love seeing what we do with what we can’t change. I love the moon’s independent indifference. I love walking the same streets as Warhol. I love what losing something does but I don’t love losing it. I love how the past shifts when there’s more. I love kissing. I love hailing a cab and going home alone. I love being surprised by May although it happens every year. I love closing down anything—a bar, restaurant, party—and that time between late night and dawn when one lamp goes on wherever you are and you know. You know what you know even if it’s hard to know it. I love being a poet. I love all poets. I love Jim Morrison for saying, “I’d like to do a song or a piece of music that’s just a pure expression of joy, like a celebration of existence, like the coming of spring or the sun rising, just pure unbounded joy. I don’t think we’ve really done that yet.” I love everything I haven’t done. I love looking at someone without need or panic. I love the quiet of the trees in a new city. I love how the sky is connected to a part of us that understands something big and knows nothing about it too. I love the minutes before you’re about to see someone you love. I love any film that delays resolution. I love being in a cemetery because judgment can’t live there. I love being on a highway in June or anytime at all. I love magic. I love the zodiac. I love all of my past lives. I love that hour of the party when everyone’s settled into their discomfort and someone tells you something really important—in passing—because it’s too painful any other way. I love the last moments before sleep. I love the promise of summer. I love going to the theater and seeing who we are. I love glamour—shamelessly—and all glamour. Which is not needed to live but shows people love life. What else is it there for? Why not ask for more? I love red shoes. I love black leather. I love the grotesque ways in which people eat ice cream—on sidewalks, alone—however they need it, whenever they feel free enough. I love being in the middle of a novel. I love how mostly everyone in Jane Austen is looking for love. I love July and its slowness. I love the idea of liberation and think about it all the time. I love imagining a world without money. I love imagining a life with enough money to write when I want. I love standing in front of the ocean. I love that sooner or later we forget even “the important things.” I love how people write in the sand, on buildings, on paper. Their own bodies. Fogged mirrors. Texts they’ll draft but never send. I love silence. I love owning a velvet cape and not knowing how to cook. I love that instant when an arc of light passes through a room and I’m reminded that everything really is moving. I love August and its sadness. I love Sunday for that too. I love jumping in a pool and how somewhere on the way up your body relaxes and accepts the shock of the water. I love Paris for being Paris. I love Godard’s films. I love anyplace that makes room for loneliness. I love how the Universe is 95% dark matter and energy and somewhere in the rest of it there is us. I love bookstores and the autonomy when I’m in one. I love that despite my distrust in politics I am able to vote. I love wherever my friends are. I love voting though know art and not power is what changes human character. I love what seems to me the discerning indifference of cats. I love the often uncomplicated joy of dogs. I love Robert Lax for living alone. I love the extra glass of wine happening somewhere, right now. I love schools and teachers. I love September and how we see it as a way to begin. I love knowledge. Even the fatal kind. Even the one without “use value.” I love getting dressed more than getting undressed. I love mystery. I love lighting candles. I love religious spaces though I’m sometimes lost there. I love the sun for worshipping no one. I love the sun for showing up every day. I love the felt order after a morning of errands. I love walking toward nowhere in particular and the short-lived chance of finding something new. I love people who smile only when moved to. I love that a day on Venus lasts longer than a year. I love Whitman for writing, “the fever of doubtful news, the fitful events; / These come to me days and nights and go from me again, / But they are not the Me myself.” I love October when the veil between worlds is thinnest. I love how at any moment I could forgive someone from the past. I love the wind and how we never see it. I love the performed sincerity in pornography and wonder if its embarrassing transparency is worth adopting in other parts of life. I love how magnified emotions are at airports. I love dreams. Conscious and unconscious. Lived and not yet. I love anyone who risks their life for their ideal one. I love Marsha P. Johnson and Sylvia Rivera. I love how people make art even in times of impossible pain. I love all animals. I love ghosts. I love that we continue to invent meaning. I love the blue hours between three and five when Plath wrote Ariel. I love that despite having one body there are many ways to live. I love November because I was born there. I love people who teach children that most holidays are a product of capitalism and have little to do with love—which would never celebrate massacre—which would never care about money or greed. I love people who’ve quit their jobs to be artists. I love you for reading this as opposed to anything else. I love the nostalgia of the future. I love that the tallest mountain in our solar system is safe and on Mars. I love dancing. I love being in love with the wrong people. I love that on November 23, 1920, Virginia Woolf wrote, “We have bitten off a large piece of life—but why not? Did I not make out a philosophy some time ago which comes to this—that one must always be on the move?” I love how athletes believe in the body and know it will fail them. I love dessert for breakfast. I love all of the dead. I love gardens. I love holding my breath under water. I love whoever it is untying our shoes. I love that December is summer in Australia. I love statues in a downpour. I love how no matter where on the island, at any hour, there’s at least one lit square at the top or bottom of a building in Manhattan. I love diners. I love that the stars can’t be touched. I love getting in a car and turning the keys just to hear music. I love ritual. I love chance too. I love people who have quietly survived being misunderstood yet remain kids. And yes, I love that Marilyn Monroe requested Judy Garland’s “Over the Rainbow” to be played at her funeral. And her casket was lined in champagne satin. And Lee Strasberg ended his eulogy by saying, “I cannot say goodbye. Marilyn never liked goodbyes, but in the peculiar way she had of turning things around so that they faced reality, I will say au revoir.” I love the different ways we have of saying the same thing. I love anyone who cannot say goodbye

Alex Dimitrov “Love”

#alex dimitrov #love #personal #poetry

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sunflowerpostsposts · 5 years

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happy valentines!

Surprise! I’m your valentine @lovinmullen! Happy Valentines Day and I hope you enjoy these little headcanons!💖

thank you so much to @swingsetboys for organizing this and generally being amazing!

-After Andi got grounded for the high school party her phone was taken away for a bit. Amber freaked out at first thinking that Andi was mad till Cyrus (lord bless his peace making soul) filled her in on the situation. A letter arrived two days later in Andi’s mailbox, guess who it was from? Amber. It was an explanation to her parents and a was signed with “Sorry if I got you in trouble! Heres my address and keep exploring the world Bambi! There are many more things like that pool in Italy” (Andi has that note in a scrapbook)Thus begins a pen pal relationship, full of not so unrequited crushes, scribbled hearts, holding of hands and eventually after stealing a flannel from each other...a kiss.

•Cyrus saw it coming from a mile away. No one just decides to go to the Spoon on every single day Amber is working and sit there with hearts popping from her eyes.

Andi will call Buffy or Cyrus and gush about a moment that happened. Little does she know that theres group call happening between the Kippen siblings, Marty and TJ are about to knock Amber out “Oh my god Amber if we hear about Andi’s eyes one more time!”. It becomes a cycle of calling. They even drew a diagram of how it would go.

Andi calls Buffy calls Cyrus in groupcall, then afterwards Cyrus calls TJ who calls Marty who calls Amber to confirm that feelings are present who calls Andi to talk about her annoying brothers. Then everything repeats.

This can repeat for hours but hey it works.

-Ambi becomes official and everyone e x p l o d e s. It was expected but WOAH IT FINALLY HAPPENED? The pining is finally over thank schnitzel

-To celebrate one month Andi made a bracelet for Amber, she was hesitant at first and said “Are you okay with a girlfriendy thing?”. Amber acts chill about it but internally is screaming.

-(They worked out Amber somehow getting Jonahs bracelet a while ago). Andi gets her phone back soon and they are the couple who uses 22 emojis per text but its adorable!

-In the end when they do the lanterns again Amber doesn’t put anything in hers. When Walker asks why she glances at Andi and shrugs “I already have everything I could wish for”

Bonus: Their first kiss was in a canoe! It flipped over causing them both to get soaking wet. On shore Amber lifted up their towel to block anyone watching right as Andi leaned forward to kiss her her again.

-Marty learned that Buffy moved away and that was the first time he messaged her since their fight, he apologized and said he hoped that she would have a good life in Arizona.

-She kept him waiting for a few days because she’s still trying to figure out her feelings, friendship or crush?

- “Marty, thanks for apologizing. Can we talk when I visit?” He immediately says yes!

-Once she comes back they talk. Its has a few embarrassing moments, some sad as well but in the end they both leave, hearts pounding and thoughts occupied with how even if they were friends how it could be different someday.

Bonus: Marty comes out to Buffy as trans and Buffy comes out to him as bi. They go to parades together and will wear their respective flags with pride! Marty is the one to paint the flags on their cheeks.

Bonus bonus: Its been almost 5 months since they talked about the crush situation and the FaceTime calls keep getting longer

Bonus Basketball: Buffy and him play during the off season of basketball, soon Marty joins the guys basketball team. They still play against each other every Saturday morning.

Heres some Hogwarts shenanigans!

Gryffindor: TJ, Buffy and Leo the Locker Boy

Slytherin: Amber, Reed and Natalie

Hufflepuff: Cyrus, Marty and Iris

Ravenclaw: Jonah and Andi!

The GHC became friends in 1st year, interhouse friendships for the win!

Marty joins the group 3rd year after the Yule Ball, he and Buffy dance so the group adopts him

Buffy and TJ’s rivalry starts in 2nd year after a fight with who got the Quidditch field, then he insulted her and her skills. Not even a rap apology was going to be enough for him to be admitted into the group. He is Quidditch-Player-Who-Must-Not-Be-Name

TJ lashed out at her because he wanted to be Quidditch Captain but she was the one who got the position

They make up after Cyrus has a Charms class with TJ, the reason? Both agree that Cyrus is a very soft kid and we will protect him at all costs.

(Buffy suspects more but doesn’t push at the reason why TJ does that little smile when Cyrus figures out a spell)

He writes an apology, near the end of the letter it says “You were right. You are the best Quidditch captain Hogwarts has seen” After this their rivalry is more of a friendship.

Andi finds the Room of Requirement and decides its going to be a LGBT+ club (she gets permission), the next time she walks in a pan flag appears above her head.

Cyrus helps her set up a network of kids who might want to attend

Amber, Iris and TJ are more of the popular group so when Amber and Iris walk into the Room on a meeting day you can imagine the surprise.

“Are you sure that this is the meeting Iris? They won’t stop staring”

Andi is shooketh because holy heck my crush is coming to the meeting be chill Andi, b r e a t h

She greets them and after some snacks from the house elves everyone feels comfortable talking to each other and introducing themselves

Amber and Iris say they’ll be regulars.

Andi had to lie down after that meeting.

Cyrus has Potions with TJ during 4th year. Mrs. Deborah, the teacher, sat them by each other to make a potion and it exploded first try. TJ got frustrated because he mixed up some numbers but Cyrus just laughs “Its okay! We can try again”

Thus begins Smitten Kippen

Don’t get him started on when they made Amortenia, they were supposed to share with the class and Cyrus declined.

TJ in that moment: Oh my god what did he smell

Cyrus to Buffy and Andi later: I don’t see what the big deal about Amortenia is? It just smelled the same as when TJ sits by me like he does in Poti-wait Buffy and Andi: Are you okay??

TJ and Cyrus are the disaster gays of Hogwarts.

They’ve tried to ask each other out almost 30 times now. But it always gets interrupted by something, a troll, a werewolf turning etc.

Cyrus has almost given up until 5th year where at a Quidditch game he gets TJ’s scarf.

It was like the meme where someone says their cold and the other person piles warm clothing on them.

He only needed the scarf because the blush was real in that moment, nothing could cool him down. He hugged TJ said a very rushed thank you then ran to the stands.

After that game he gave TJ a sign that said “I’m not Kippen when I say I like you”

It becomes almost a game to see who can out flirt who

Special blueberry macadamia muffin was delivered to the Gryffindor common room. Book about lizards sent to Hufflepuff with a note in the cover. Plenty of notes sent to each other during classes.

The one who makes a move is Cyrus, TJ writes him a small poem and he marches up to TJ after dinner to say “TJ Kippen will you go out with me?”

Nothing interrupted him and TJ said yes so fast it was like something possessed him

They have a cute Hogsmeade date <3

Buffy and Marty are the most competive friends anyone has seen. Mention Quidditch? They jump for the chance to see who gets the Snitch. Spells? Get under cover this is going to be a BATTLE

Due to these competitions they get sent to the hospital wing many, many times.

They ate too many Weasley sweets and didn’t realize they both ate a vomiting one.

Madam Pomfrey banned Weasley treats after that, said that students were too irresponsible (a healthy black market trade arose)

Once they got out and realized they both had actual physical harm happen because of a competition Marty proposed something

Marty: Look Buffy I love our competitions...but could we stick to banter for now? Buffy: You know what would be convenient? Lets go on dates, easier way to banter with each other Marty: *screams*

He agrees after falling down a staircase they were walking down.

(back to the hospital wing Marty)

By the next day it was back to regular banter! With the occasional hand holding and kiss if one of them said something a little too silly

This is the one year Jonah and Walker are beaten in the Best Couple Competition.

Speaking of Best Couple Competitions...the year Cyrus and TJ become public is the year they almost beat Wonah (the nickname for the pairing)

Cyrus kisses him on the cheek, his hand and on tiptoes he’ll kiss his nose but never the lips.

TJ is totally okay with this but wonders about it sometimes.

Skip ahead to the final Quidditch match, they’ve been dating a few months.

TJ (about to get on this broom): Hey how about a kiss for good luck? Its the last game it might work Cyrus (rolling his eyes): Okay you dork

Cyrus pulled him down by his collar and gave him a brief kiss

TJS FACE WAS BRIGHT RED and Slytherin was crushed by Gryffindor in a record amount of points.

Amber and Andi are a background couple most of the time, content with sitting in the library by a window. You can find them if you know where to look, the tree by the lake or near the kitchens where they sneak into for a snack. Amber is always wearing a headband from Andi and Andi will be wearing a charmed ring from Amber.

Bonus: After they both graduate, TJ is hired on a Defense of the Dark Arts teacher and Cyrus is the Arithmancy teacher. TJ goes on to be the headmaster! He makes new policies that allow students to be more comfortable with their sexuality and genders/

Bonus Bonus\: TJ and Cyrus go to Andi’s GSA weekly meeting and thats how they come out to each other. They walked in and both went “Shit”. That was the quietest they have ever been together. They walk out together and separate after throwing each other a quick smile.

#happy valentines!#andi mack valentine exchange #<3

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sunmisgirl · 5 years

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Demon!EXO Reaction to Human Not Signing Contract

Exo demon reaction to their assigned human not wanting to sign a contract (to give their soul in exchange for sth)??? -🌹 anon P.s. I live for your reactions you're such an amazing writer!

Side note: You’re so kind; thank you for taking the time to read my reactions. I hope you enjoy this one. I also wrote a spin-off to this here.

Xiumin:

Xiumin finds you busking at a street corner singing the words to “Wonderwall”. He’s seen you perform at various street corners around the city trying to pick up extra tips and hopefully get scouted by a talent company. He approaches you and places a tip in your guitar case. You acknowledge his donation with a nod and smile as you continue singing through your performance. He patiently waits for you to finish before complimenting you on your voice and dedication. “You sing with so much soul and passion coursing through your body. It would be a crime to let that talent go to waste. I have friends in high places. I could recommend you to a music executive. All I want in return is a little bit of that soul.” Your eyebrows furrow in confusion at his request, but shyly decline his offer and gather up your guitar case and leave for the day. Something about him felt very odd and you decide to stop playing in public for a while.

Suho:

Suho is your regular customer at the diner. He’s pretty decent compared to the other patrons. He always leaves a hefty tip and makes good conversation with you. You’ve managed to form a friendship and share with him your woes about paying for college and balancing two jobs to do so. One night he appears at a booth and orders his usual meal. When you serve it to him, he stops you and asks, “Haven’t you ever thought about leaving this job? I see the way some of the sleazy customers treat you.” You sigh and run a hand down your apron. “Remember I need this extra income to pay for the semester? I can’t quit now especially around the holidays when more people dine in.”

He lightly chuckled to himself and said, “What if I supply you with the extra income? Imagine paying off college and buying anything else you desire. Moving out of this town…hell maybe even buying this diner if you so desire. I just need something in exchange…more specifically your soul.” You blink at him a few times and swear you notice his eye color shift to red and back to brown in an instant. You become uncomfortable and excuse yourself from the booth. Suho took the hint when you never returned from the kitchen and left his usual tip on the table. You never saw him again after that.

Lay:

Why? Why must you always be the victim of Cupid’s arrow? Your love life isn’t successful, and you’re close to giving up on finding any happiness until you run across an ad for a dating company guaranteeing love. At this point you have nothing to lose and decide to stop by the business on the way home from work. You walk up to a tidy shop named Master of Love. You almost cringe at the cheesy name but enter the shop anyways. You meet the owner of the shop and he sits down explaining how the company works, filling out applications, and showing your potential matches.

Before you sign the contract, he goes over some rules with you. Lay says, “Just as a reminder, if you are to find a perfect match, we must maintain communication. I can’t lose a valuable client like you.” As he says this, you witness his eyes shift to a different color. “You may have a perfect match here in the physical world, but in the afterlife you’re all mine.” You abruptly stumble out of your seat and flee for the door and away from the shop. You don’t will yourself to look back in fear he is standing by the doorway of the shop watching you go.

Baekhyun:

All these dating apps have brought nothing but misery and wasted time. Your friends push you to attempt speed dating, so you attend an event at a local café. Baekhyun was already seated at a table far away and you couldn’t keep your eyes off him. Even the other speed daters notice and make no attempt to engage with you. Once you finally sit in front of him, his charming smile and smoldering eyes make your heart skip a beat. Your speechless state causes him to laugh and he reaches out to caress your cheek. “Seems like we’ve already made a match. Isn’t it exhausting to go through countless dates and never find the right one?” You sigh and nod your head. He suggests, “I think this relationship could last forever…that is if you want it to. I need your heart, body, and soul in this agreement.” You don’t miss the way he emphasizes the word soul and push his hand away from your face. He never does get your response though because the timer rings. You rush out the door mentally cursing your friends for dragging you into yet another weird guy’s arms.

Chen:

Kim Jongdae stands as one of the most popular stylists in the industry. Every model and rising celebrity hopes to be selected as his muse and face of his seasonal line. It’s quite surprising when he asks you to be a visual for his spring line. You haven’t made much waves in the modeling industry, but you’re not about to decline this opportunity. His aura is slightly intimidating when you first meet, but you suppose that’s because he is such a popular figure in the industry.

After your fitting, you bump into him at the elevators. You thank him for selecting you as his visual and he shrugs it off stating he sees much potential in your future compared to the others. He suggests an easier rise to stardom by forming a partnership with him. “Just think about it. A rising model and a popular stylist duo taking this industry by storm. Can’t you see it too?” He begins gripping your wrist tightly and you glance at him with an alarmed look. “With the partnership, we’d be inseparable. Your mind, heart, and soul are mine and vice versa.” His eyes turn red the second he mentions your soul and you yank your wrist from his grip and race out the elevator not caring that you’re calling attention to yourself.

Chanyeol:

Every successful band experiences a few pitfalls and missed opportunities. Your band has gained enough attention to go from bar performances to small concert venues. However, it’s been a difficult time to get the attention of any record label companies. One night, your band finishes a set and clears the stage. You’ve still got that adrenaline high when a tall man approaches you. He reaches out to shake your hand. “I’m Park Chanyeol. Your group has got some serious talent. Your voice is incredibly unique as well. My record label is seeking talent just like you. I can already imagine thousands of adoring fans screaming out your lyrics and, in a few years, even a Grammy nomination is possible.” You scoff at his wishful thinking and utter, “That sounds way too good to be true. What do I have to do, sell my soul?” A chilling smile appears on his face and you kindly decline his offer and pray you never cross paths with that odd man again.

D.O.:

Moving out of your hometown seems to be one of the dumbest choices you’ve ever made. Your apartment isn’t the best and you constantly beat the radiator to emit heat during the winter months. Your boss criticizes your work ethic and coworkers always gossip about you. You wish you could pick up everything and move back home, but of course money makes the world go around. Having to balance paying off your student loans, countless GrubHub orders, and rent is taking a toll on you.

Kyungsoo moved in a few months ago, but you never crossed paths until today when you checked the mailbox. You yell in frustration after seeing more bills and dramatically toss them to the floor. Kyungsoo is checking his mail at the same time and notices your meltdown. He suggests a close friend that lends people money without questions asked. You stare at him in disbelief and say, “There must be some catch to this.” Suddenly he dons a serious expression and replies, “A special agreement has to take place. You have to give up your soul but think about all the financial issues that will melt away with this solution.” You conclude your neighbor is insane and walk back to your apartment. All night his words toss around in your head until you look for him the next morning. When you knock on his door, you find an empty apartment.

Kai:

Kai watches you from afar as you struggle to nail your choreography in the dance studio. You’ve stumbled repeatedly and the aches in your muscles beg you to give up for the night. You grumpily pack your belongings and head home. This part of town isn’t the safest, but your place isn’t too far from the studio. However, tonight you feel an eerie presence lurking nearby and meet eyes with a man—or so you assume is a man. He walks towards you and your guard goes up immediately. He keeps a distance from you and says, “Don’t you get tired of constantly failing? Your peers are exceling and performing on stages in New York City while you’re stuck here in this small town. What if I offered you an opportunity to showcase your talents? Surpass everyone and make yourself worldwide known. All I need in exchange is your soul.” You mutter a “no thanks” and sprint to your place before he can reach you. You think to yourself, I’m so tired of these drunken creeps in this town.

Sehun:

Last Valentine’s Day proved that love is crap and the holiday is a product of capitalism wrapped in pretty colors and adorned with flowers and chocolates to trick lovesick couples. Your partner decided it would be appropriate to break up with you the day before Valentine’s Day so they could dodge your dinner plans and run off on some “journey of self-discovery”. Whatever. You’re not buying it. This year you’re sipping a bitter cup of coffee seated by the window of your favorite coffee shop. You’ve witnessed tons of people passing: some carrying giant stuffed bears to bring to their partners, some looking guilty and carrying bouquets of roses, and others blissfully walking hand in hand. You sigh wondering if you’ll ever find your special person.

Sehun sits nearby noticing your gloomy expression. “Valentine’s Day is a double-edged sword. It forces singles to feel bad about not having a special person and guilts couples to buy gifts for their partners.” Your eyes widen as you turn to look at him. “Yes! Exactly!”, you exclaim in delight because finally someone doesn’t think you’re just bitter about the breakup. You two speak more and eventually start talking about your ex. He can tell you’re still hurting from the breakup and offers a solution. “Maybe I can help? I can get your ex to fall in love with you again. All I ask for is your soul in return.” You glare at him and dump the rest of your coffee on his head and leave the shop. You switched coffee shops after that just to avoid the weirdo.

#this is prob one of my best works lol #exo #exo scenarios #exo imagines #exo reactions #exo requests #exo au #kpop #demon!au

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reylofanfictionanthology · 5 years

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THE REYLO FANFICTION ANTHOLOGY ST. VALENTINE’S DAY LOVE FEST

This year, to celebrate St. Valentine’s Day, we wanted to show the Reylo Writing Community a little bit of love by hosting a Reylo Fanfiction St. Valentine’s Day Love Fest.

We will accept recommendations for this project until the end of February. You can find details about how to submit a recommendation to the project here.

LOVE FEST LIST #6/?

REYLO COMMUNITY RECOMMENDATIONS

Trying Something New by Vivien

Summary: “I can do this, I can do this, I can do this,” Rey thought to herself as she tugged her bag over her shoulder. She wanted to do this. She’d pored over holonet sites in preparation. The mere idea of Ben’s request made her wet. And terrified. Just a little terrified.

Recommendation by @leofgyth: “It's a very sweet story about Rey just beginning to learn how to dom Ben. I love dom!Rey and sub!Ben and this story is a really nice, fluffy version of that dynamic.”

One by Arwen_Evenstar

Summary: The path of the Force is never clear or decided. One moment right, the next moment wrong. And both of them must ride it through, until the end.

Recommendation by @tmwillson3: “This fic is the first in a series of 9 interconnected post-TLJ one-shots. This fic introduces the reader to the author's signature style that slowly weaves everything in that you could ever want in a fic. It's a slow-burn with a fantastic payoff as Kylo/Ben and Rey both go through realistic struggles, with Leia brought in masterfully along with some beautiful descriptions of and usage of the Force, showing how the dark and the light both reside in the couple.”

The Temporary Husband (A overboard/reylo fan fic) by Hellyjellybean

Summary: Single mom Rey is down on her luck, and just when she thinks things can't get any worse, Ben Solo proves her theory wrong, and provides her with one last humiliating blow. Licking her wounds, Rey picks herself back up but Ben finds himself in a bad way. Injured and without any knowledge of who he is, Rey may be the only person able to provide Ben with the information he so sorely needs, but perhaps there is a way Rey could use Ben's situation to teach him a lesson and get back at him once and for all.

Recommendation by @obsessivescientist: “Her writing is funny and intelligent and both characters, Rey and Ben are snarky and cute.”

Let's Dance Slowly Forever by MissCoppelia

Summary: Ben Solo doesn't usually find himself at karaoke bars. He left the opera world behind for a music licensing gig, and he hasn't done much of anything since his parents died. But one night he gets dragged to one by Phasma and Hux, and something inside him starts to change.

Recommendation by @aionimica: “I love the uniqueness of this fic - I love the characters and how well they fit with each other, not to mention imagining Ben Solo and Rey singing is just perfect and I need more if it in my life and i want more people to enjoy it too.”

RFFA WRITERS SELF RECOMMENDATIONS

Hiraeth by Melusine11

Summary: Hiraeth - a homesickness for a home to which you cannot return, a home which maybe never was; the nostalgia, the yearning, the grief for lost places of your past. Rey had never put any stock in anything beyond what she could see and touch, and then she had stowed away on a stolen ship […] it was there, on that ship, that she learned that anything was possible. She had seen a ship consumed by a kraken, could still hear the panicked screams of its crew as they echoed across the waves…she had traded trinkets with mermaids…she had seen the green flash on several occasions and been close enough to touch St. Elmo’s Fire while in the crows’ nest a time or two. She had never heard of someone coming back from the dead.

“It's my child and I love it is my knee-jerk reaction answer, but...it's got pirates, it's got a freakin kraken that guards an underwater city of the dead, it's got Kylo who really messed up (but lbr, when hasn't he) and he's trying to do the right thing, and Rey who isn't here for his bullshit, plus she's got a sword and she's not afraid to use it. Sword-fights, and brothels and high seas hi-jinks and angst and naked cuddling to survive and mermaids and mystical objects and Han gambles with Captain Morgan. It's historical fantasy and I've been having the best time writing it, so come check it out!”

The Repatriationists by leoba

Summary: Rey has become involved with an underground group that returns cultural objects to their peoples of origin. She pulls in Ben Solo, her on again / off again lover, to help with their latest job.

“The story is about repatriation - returning cultural objects to the people who made them - which is a hot topic in my field right now. So this story was a way for me to write about it in a really positive way. It's almost-but-not-exactly a heist story. It also has hot scenes between Rey and Ben (including a sex scene in the tree on Ahch-To, which should *really* be more of a thing) and a characterization of Finn that I adore and want everyone else to see too.”

Starpoint Woods Power Station by tmwillson3

Summary: After being talked into applying for a job by Han Solo, Rey finds herself working at a nuclear power plant. There, she meets the man of her dreams - because who isn't attracted to arrogant sticklers for rules who are good with their tools and carry around a jar of bright green lube? This is the nuclear power plant AU you never expected. A silly, slightly informative, and humorous look at working in the nuclear industry, as well as all the pop culture references possible.

“I love this story because it is a unique modern AU for Reylo since it takes place where I work, at a nuclear power plant. I based this story on my experiences working at a plant, and I spent a lot of time to make sure all characters were placed properly and given some odd quirk as befitting a feel-good romcom. I think that everyone who's looking for some fluff and lots of silliness will find that here, especially if you like pop culture references. It's also a brief introduction to nuclear power and what goes on at a plant, but without getting super technical so that the reader can learn something new while laughing.”

To Hold by aionimica

Summary: “I had a bad dream.” For god’s sake, she sounded like a child, waking up in the middle of the night, unable to soothe herself back to sleep. But Ben was there, Ben was there and he didn’t care -- hadn’t ever cared. And so he asked the question Rey both wanted and desperately hoped he wouldn’t. “Do you want to talk about it?” ----------- Rey can’t sleep. Ben never sleeps. So some nights, they just talk.

“This was one of the closest fics I’ve written to my own heart and my own mind. I love how it shows an uncommon side of intimacy and a hope for a future between these two characters. It’s close and personal and oh so dear to me.”

#reylo #reylo fanfiction anthology #valentine's day love fest #rffa writers #mod post #photo edit #love fest list

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let-it-raines · 6 years

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Second in Command: Ch. 7

Summary: Life as the "spare to the heir" isn't all that it's cracked up to be when you're the supposed screw-up of the family, but people don't know what really happens behind closed doors.

Rating: M

A/N: If anyone isn’t a big Halloween movie watcher, you can find the clip of a line Emma says here. I also highly recommend the movie. It’s a personal favorite.

And as always, this chapter and the rest of the story can be found on ao3

| here |

The world has known about Emma for three months now, summer slowly drifting into autumn. The longer the month of September goes on, the more the heat begins to subside and the leaves begin to prematurely fall to the ground, a myriad of colors scattering the sidewalks.

Autumn has always been his favorite season. The humidity seems to fade away, and the streets tend to smell less like hoards of sweaty, hurried people and more like the occasional clear air that will waft through England when the stars align to create a day where the air is neither filled with smoke nor rain. September is a fine month, his birthday always falling toward the tail end of it, but he tends to favor October.

It’s a month most people pass by without much thought, directly between the thrill of summer vacation and the merriness of the winter holiday season, but to some, often those with small children or adults who have a sense of imagination and adventure (and often those wanting the opportunity to imbibe in a few libations), it’s the month that marks its end with ghouls and goblins and witches oh my.

He’s never been one to celebrate Halloween as an adult. He’d been to one or two parties while at university, sure, always throwing together a last minute costume that more often than not resulted in him throwing on a tux that he already owned and going as James Bond. If he got really creative, he’d shave his beard, throw on a pair of spectacles and go as Clark Kent.

So he likes Halloween, enjoys the sweets and the horror films and the way the store fronts fill their windows with intricately carved pumpkins, yellow candles flickering inside as the sun sets into darkness.

He likes it, but Emma loves it. She loves everything about it. As soon as the calendar flips from September to October, she pulls a chest out from under her bed that’s full of DVDs (We can just watching them online, darling, he’ll say. It’s not the same, she’ll say) to watch at least one a day until the clock strikes midnight on Halloween and the pumpkins turn into Christmas trees (or turkeys for those living in America). In her closet there’s a box of every Halloween costume she’s ever worn that somehow managed to make the trip from America to London.

He once found a princess costume that was made for a girl no older than five, and when he teased her about how she’s obviously had a thing for him for her entire life, she told him that it was really Liam she had a thing for, her lips curling up into a smirk as mirth danced in her eyes. He was left speechless holding a sparkly blue dress as he watched her proudly bask in the glory of her joke. Later she told him, whispered in the darkness of her room after she had physically reaffirmed that he was the only man for her, that she could have dressed as a princess every day of her life and still never have been prepared for him and every way he’s surpassed any dream she ever had of a prince sweeping her off her feet just by being Killian.

He could have never prepared for her.

Emma carves pumpkins and buys candy ahead of time only to eat it all and have to purchase more before the holiday passes (and then buying the discount candy on November first so that she has enough to last her until the Valentine’s Day sales). She researches ghost stories online and then retells them with the enthusiasm of someone who likes being scared shitless at the possibility that the dead haunt her movements.

So his girlfriend loves Halloween, and he knew that going into their relationship, part of the basic getting to know you process that happened over late nights and glasses of rum she eventually didn’t charge him for. However, he didn’t get to experience Halloween with her until they’d been dating for over two years. The first year he’d had to miss it because he rearranged his schedule so that he’d be around for her twenty-first birthday the week before. She’d told him she loved him for the first time that night, and he would trade all of his Halloweens for the rest of his life just to keep that day the same. The next year he’d been on his two-month North American tour that had resulted in them not speaking for a few weeks, so he hadn’t even gotten to listen to her enthusiasm about the holiday (She was a bar wench he later found out. An appropriate costume that ended up looking very inappropriate on her).

When he realizes that he can finally celebrate with her on his third try, the smile that crosses his face may rival Emma’s when she’s watching Hocus Pocus.

“So you’re sure about this?” she questions as she pushes her box of movies back underneath her bed, settling on the creepy and the kooky Addams Family.

They both had the day off, and Emma had begged, not that she needed to, for the two of them to spend the day watching movies and eating candy out the bowl she’d already depleted at least once – he would know, he had to stop and buy her a mixed bag of candy on his way here. If she pulled a pumpkin primed for carving out of her closet, no part of him would be surprised.

“I am positive,” he tells her as she crawls into bed next him, moving his arm so that it wraps around her shoulder, his fingers instinctively going to find the skin just below her shirt. “I have purposely arranged my entire autumn schedule so that I will be free to spend Halloween night with you.”

“You know what this means, though, right?”

“That I’m going to have to schedule an extra dental appointment because you’re going to force feed me candy until my teeth rot?”

“I mean, obviously,” she teases, kissing the underside of his jaw from her vantage point below him. “But it means you have to wear a costume. Like, a real costume that you buy ahead of time because we have a costume party every year downstairs. And, like, not to be like the clichés of all the movies about royalty going out into disguise on Halloween, but if you could wear something that partially covers your face or alters your identity, that would be great because then I can kiss you downstairs and no one will even question it.”

“Are there really movies like that?”

“You have no idea.” She kisses his jaw again, the sensation running all the way through him. He is so crazy in love with her that sometimes he doesn’t know what to do with himself. “One day I’m going to teach you about all of the clichés that you fall under.”

He can’t help but laugh, pulling her closer to his side as the theme of The Addams Family finally begins to play on the television. They spend the rest of their day watching movies that have him ranging from laughing to sweating to being incredibly turned on. He eats more kit kat bars than he’s proud to admit, his stomach rounding where it’s usually more defined, and by the time he’s leaving to make his way home, he feels more like one of those pumpkins he thinks Emma has hidden in her closet than anything else.

Emma’s just kissed him goodbye, a little more enthusiasm than usual, when he realizes something he missed out on earlier.

“Wait,” he pulls back from her lips to look her in the eyes, “if I’m dressing up, that means you’re dressing up. What the devil are you wearing?”

“Be patient,” she begins, lifting up on her toes to give him another kiss, slow and sensual and something he very much wants to continue, before pushing him out the door, “because that is a surprise that you’re just going have to show up to see. It’s kooky.”

Damn. That’s something he can’t wait to see.

Finding a costume that won’t make him feel ridiculous ends up being more difficult than he thinks. He considers several that require him to wear a mask that completely covers his face, but those seem to be farcical more than anything else. He thinks of going as a pirate, but that just didn’t seem to call to him, the leather and eyeliner unappealing. When he comes across an entire section that’s full of prince costumes, one even entitled Prince Killian, he almost buys it just for the look on Emma’s face. Eventually after all of the sailors and clowns and police officers are eliminated, and he settles on being Tom Cruise in Top Gun. It’s a happy medium between what he’s comfortable with and what really getting into the spirit (pun intended) of Halloween means. Plus, he can mostly be himself with dark shades used to cover his eyes. It’s surprising how many people don’t recognize him simply because he has on a pair on sunglasses.

It’s Halloween, and Emma’s been suspiciously silent, only texting him short little nothings when he texts her first. It’s not totally abnormal, but for this to be one of her favorite days of the year, she doesn’t seem to be too excited. It unnerves him, and even though he was supposed to wait until the pub’s patrons are pleasantly buzzed, he ends up sauntering through the door at a quarter after ten to find Mary Margaret and David, dressed as a cat and a dog in the way that only two people in their late forties can, but with no sign of Emma anywhere.

The place is unusually busy, the younger patrons outweighing the older crowd that usually frequents the place, making the space feel smaller than usual. It doesn’t help that the Nolans have stretched fake cobweb across the pillars and between booths, causing people to duck around them if they don’t want to end up with whatever artificial material is used to make the decorations. On all of the tables are carved pumpkins he knows the three of them worked on two days ago. He spies the one he did a week ago, crooked smile from where the knife slipped in his hand. It’s on the table of the booth in the back – their booth, he likes to think, the one where they met – and he can’t help but think that Emma Nolan can be sentimental sometimes, too.

Right now, though, he’d really like to find Emma Nolan and whatever costume she’s hidden from him.

It’s then that he sees her, short black dress with a white peter pan collar, the sexiest thigh high boots he’s ever seen, and a black wig parted down the middle into two braids, her lips painted in a black lipstick the he imagines she won’t let him kiss her with. She’s Wednesday Addams. She gave him a clue by the movie they watched last time he was here, and no part of him even thought about it. He spent a hell of a lot of time thinking about it. Of course, knowing her, she very well could have come up with her costume idea while they were watching the movie.

He makes his way over to where she’s refilling a few glasses of ale, grabbing her wrist and pulling her to him so that he can kiss her cheek and squeeze her hip just because he can.

“Where’s your costume, darling?” he teases when he pulls back from her skin, knowing exactly what her answer is going to be, the Halloween-loving woman.

He can tell she has to hold back a smile before she deadpans, “this is my costume. I’m a homicidal maniac. They look just like everyone else.”

She delivers the line exactly as she should, identical to Wednesday Addams, not even throwing him a wink like she so often will when she tells a joke, the lines on her face as straight and narrow as possible.

It’s only when she seems to take his costume in, her eyes perusing the jumpsuit and the dark aviator sunglasses in a way that makes him feel like there’s no air circulation in the pub. He tries to reign in his nerves, leaning down to whisper in her ear. “Do you like it?”

Emma pulls back so that he can see her, the corner of her lips lifting up on one side. “Eh, I prefer how Maverick looks on the beach, but this’ll do.” And then she’s walking away, flipping the pigtails of her wig behind her, finally giving him the wink he expected earlier. The little minx.

It ends up being such a busy night that he doesn’t get to see much of Emma. She’s always refilling drinks or wiping down tables when people leave. He doesn’t mind, though. Just watching her, he can see that she’s having a blast with all of the people who dressed up tonight. When a group of girls all dressed as the Addams Family women walk in, Emma practically squeals, a very un-Wednesday like thing to do.

She convinces them to take a picture with her, telling them that it’s going to go up on the wall where her family keeps pictures of big events that happen here.

Seeing her this happy keeps a smile on his face throughout the night, even when he’s had one too may rums and realizes he has to take off the jumpsuit to relieve himself. It’s annoying and inconvenient, and when he comes out of the restroom cursing under his breath about bloody fucking Halloween (though no blood was involved in this Halloween), it’s to Emma leaning against the wall with her arms crossed waiting on him, right eyebrow perched high on her forehead.

“You know, Nolan, that’s a little creepy you waiting out here for me.”

“I wanted to get another picture of us to put up on the wall.”

“Won’t that be suspicious?”

“Nah, I’m just going to say it was a really hot guy who came by on Halloween, and I needed an excuse to get close to him. Who knows? Maybe later I’ll even get his number.”

She’s…happy. She’s happy and flirtatious, two things he’s seen her be so many times before, but it’s like it’s contagious tonight, a disease which he’d very much like to catch.

So they take the picture for her to hang up on the wall. He’s smiling in it, wide toothy grin as he wraps his arms around her shoulder. She’s not smiling. Instead, her body is stiff and her hands are placed at her sides, unhappy look on her face that has him in stitches when he looks at it later. It’s a picture he’d like to keep just for the look on Emma’s face.

His favorite picture of the night, though, happens later when everything is closed down, and he’s starting to get tired, the only thing keeping him awake is the way that Emma’s mouth is moving against his, lazy and sloppy but all together delicious. He thinks that they’re on their way to other activities, his jumpsuit suddenly even more restricting, but then Emma starts hysterically laughing, tears rolling down her eyes as her hair, wig removed, falls in her face.

It’s not often that a woman laughs at how he kisses, so he can’t help but feel a tad bit insulted.

“Emma, love, what the bloody hell are you laughing at?”

She just leans over to her bedside table to grab her phone, snapping a picture of him without him knowing what’s happening.

“What are you doing? Why are you taking a picture of me?”

“Just hold on a minute, and I’ll tell you.”

It’s then that she twists in his lap so that she can take a picture of the two of them together, her head leaning on his shoulder. He thinks that maybe she just felt the overwhelming need to document the night, but then she’s thrusting her phone in his face and he sees why she’s laughing.

It’s a wonderful picture of the two of them. They look happy and vibrant despite the late hour. It would be just like every other photograph except for the fact that the black lipstick she had on with her costume is now smeared all over his lips and his chin, even a bit of his nose. He looks bloody ridiculous, and when he looks over to Emma she’s covering her mouth to hide her laugh.

“That’s really not your color, babe.”

It’s a night that he remembers fondly, the picture saved on his phone and the lipstick tube tucked away in a box of things that he’s collected from Emma over the years.

It’s not yet October, though, and Killian knows that a Halloween like that will most likely be a thing of the past for the two of them. They’ll have different kinds of holiday celebrations now, and while that does make him feel a tinge of longing for the ways of the past, he’s excited for the future.

Killian turns twenty-nine this week, and he’s having a quiet – by his family’s standards – celebration with just his family – his entire family, extending beyond just the immediate – as well as Emma and her parents. It is a bit of a combination event, both a celebration of his birth and an introduction of his girlfriend to the extended family she hasn’t met and vice versa, an introduction of her small family to the largeness of his.

“Are you nervous?” Killian questions, moving to zip Emma’s dress, one hand caressing her hip as the other guides the zipper up its path.

“Honestly,” she sighs out as she moves her hair off of her back and over one shoulder, exposing her neck to him, which he gives a soft kiss to when he finishes zipping her into the dress. It’s this little black thing she got from Abigail that’s long enough to be acceptable in the new dress code she’s trying to adhere to when she goes places with him that are a step up from the supermarket, but it still shows off all of her glorious curves. She looks beautiful, radiant even, and it doesn’t matter that he’s the slightest bit biased. “I don’t think I can really be nervous around your family anymore. It’s more this feeling I can’t describe, kind of like I’m walking on eggshells but only sometimes, I guess. It’s fine tonight, though, babe. It’s your night. I think I’ve officially grown a tough skin. I’m immune to all of the new bites from the Windsor clan.”

She’s ghosting over things, he can tell. He caught some of the flashing “it’s fine” signs in her little spiel, but he goes against his better judgment and ignores it for tonight. He ignores his own signs, too.

“They’re not piranhas, love.”

“No,” she says, turning around and placing her hands on his shoulders, straightening his shirt collar, “they’re not. I’ve already faced those.”

“And you did it swimmingly.” He leans down to quickly meet her lips with his.

“Was that a pun?”

“Always. I’m just naturally witty like that.”

“I think you’re fishing for compliments.”

He laughs, leaning down again to peck her cheek so as to not mess up her lipstick anymore. “You, my love, are the only fish in the sea for me.”

“Okay, I’m done with the bad puns. We’ve got a party to go to, old man.”

“What a kind, loving birthday wish from my girlfriend.”

“That’s what I’m here for, babe.”

And at that she walks away, hips swaying enticingly in that little black dress. When she gets to the doorway, she turns her head and fucking winks at him, and he’s got to make it through the entire night with her looking like that.

He catches up to her, jogging just a little down the hallway as they walk to his car on their way to Windsor Palace. It’s where his parents have been staying recently, as it’s much more low key than the busyness of London, even if it’s a bit of a drive from Kensington.

When they get there, it’s still about an hour before most of his family is supposed to arrive, but he wanted to spend some time with just his parents and Emma’s parents before all of the others arrive. The Nolans met his family two weeks ago, and they’ve all gotten on surprisingly well despite the rocky start this whole thing had. It probably helps that he and Emma decided to keep some of the nastier details of her introduction to his family to themselves.

Mary Margaret and Allison have become fast friends and have discovered that they share many of the same interests, having even gone to a few of the same schools growing up, though Killian’s mother is several years older than Mary Margaret. David and Brennan get on fine. They don’t have a lot in common, but they don’t have to. As long as they have Killian and Emma in common, they’ll always have things to talk about.

Emma’s never been to Windsor before, so he decides to giver her a small tour before joining his family in one of the dining halls. She did tell him the first time he brought her home that she’s fascinated by being able to see buildings she studied in primary school in real life. She’s brilliant, his love, with a mind most people can only hope to have half of, and though he knows that she’s happy with her decision not to attend university in exchange for helping her parents, he finds himself wondering what it would be like for her to take history classes. Would her face light up as she delved into research for papers? Would she hate having to stick her nose in a book to learn about history instead of getting to explore it for herself?

They’ve broached the subject, her going back to school before, but she always says that she’s happy. She likes her job, and she likes spending time with her parents and her regular patrons. So he doesn’t push it. He doesn’t need her to have a degree. He has one in Philosophy that he’s never once used before. He just wants to make sure that if she has the opportunity to do something she wants to do, she can.

“Babe,” she calls out from her spot a few feet ahead of him, and he already knows what she’s looking at before he catches up to her. “How old are you here?”

She’s staring at a portrait that’s far too large, something he protested with his mum for what felt like hours on end, and he can tell she wants to reach out and touch it, run her fingers along the lines of his face.

“I was fourteen, and before you say anything else, yes, I had to pose for it. It was bloody awful.”

“Can we get one of these at our house?”

She’s teasing him, playful smile on her lips, but all he can focus on is that she just said “our house.” They’ve been living together for a few weeks now. He’s sure she’s said something similar before, but it hasn’t hit him until then.

“Hey,” she says when he doesn’t speak for a moment too long, turning to caress his cheek, her face level to his with the heels she has on, “I was just teasing. I think this is amazing. I love getting to see more of you when you were young.”

Killian moves to wrap his arms around her waist, pulling her into his side so that he can rest the side of his forehead against the top of her head. “Aye, I know. We can have anything you want, Emma.”

She tilts her head back as much as she can, his grip on her waist more snug than usual. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, my love. I was just thinking about how if we get one of these for home, we also have to hang up that photograph of you from the time you dyed your hair brown and it ended up as some kind of purple.”

She scrunches her nose, mouth twisting in disgust. “Mom never should have documented some things. But fine. No giant portrait of teenage Killian. Though, I thought it might look really good over the bed.”

He can’t help put laugh, kissing the crown of her head before releasing her from his side and grabbing her hand so that they can finish their tour and show up to the dinner.

When they walk in the door to the dining hall, they don’t even have a chance to breathe before they’re ambushed.

“Mummy,” Alex squeals, squirming away from where he was sitting with Abigail and Liam on a couch so that he can make his way over to them, pointing at Emma as he waddles over to them, “it’s Emmy.”

Emma just hurries her steps up, swooping Alex up into her arms and covering his face in kisses, leaving red marks from her lipstick all over him that he always finds hilarious when he looks into a mirror later (Killian likes to think he wears Emma’s lipstick marks better than Alexander, but who is he to compare himself to a toddler?). She’s his new best friend, and Killian’s not saying that he’s upset that a soon-to-be-two-year-old is ignoring him for his girlfriend, but he’s worked hard for that favorite relative position just to be usurped by Emma in a matter of months.

Forget all of the murders and strategic arranged marriages of the past for people trying to overtake the thrown. Emma usurping Killian as Alex’s favorite person outside of his parents is the real royal scandal.

“Emmy,” Alex giggles, squirming in her arms as she’s moved on from kissing him to tickling his stomach. “Mummy has baby in belly.”

“Really?” Emma gasps, over-exaggerated voice that she’ll use sometimes when talking to him. “Mommy has a baby in her belly! That’s so exciting, Alex! Are you excited to have a new brother or sister?”

“Yay, baby,” Alex shrieks, raising his hands in the air and clapping, something his parents have obviously taught him to do with the mention of the new baby.

“Yay baby, indeed,” Abigail says, walking over to Killian, Emma, and her son, slight but obvious stomach reaching them before she does.

“Alex, darling,” Abigail coos, reaching to take him from Emma and transfer him to Killian, “what did daddy teach you to say to Uncle Killian today?”

Alex just stares at Abigail, like he has no idea what she’s talking about, his little face all scrunched up in confusion as he thinks.

“Does Happy Birthday ring a bell, Alexander?” Liam asks, making his way over to them from his spot on the sofa, clapping Killian on the back and resting his hand there. Killian’s flinch is barely noticeable.

The two of them are not best mates or anything now, as that would be hoping for miracles in a land where those are scarce, but there’s definitely less hostility between the two brothers – at least, on the surface. Killian knows that on top of the talks (talks, yelling matches, hushed conversations with Emma and Abigail in the other room) the two of them have had over the past few weeks, their father also sat down with Liam and talked about some of the changes they’re making and how they’re attempting to be more of a family in private, rather than just being kind in public. Killian hopes that with some work, it’ll be something that actually works out. He hopes that he can have the heart to let it work out because his feelings on the situation are about as messy and as convoluted as one’s thoughts can become.

Emma still tenses when Liam’s near, however, and obviously he does as well. She doesn’t make it obvious, but he can see how she squares her shoulders the slightest bit, the way her smile fades at the corners. He can’t blame her. He does the same. But the sacrifices she’s making for him are evident in the way her smile fades from brilliant to polite.

Alex gets it now, eyes lighting up as he stares at Killian. “Happy Birfday!” he shouts, just a little too loud, but it’s cute and he truly appreciates the fact that Liam took the time to teach Alex how to wish him happy birthday.

Everyone in the room bursts into laughs, clapping for Alex and he just grins, showing off his little toddler teeth in pride.

“Happy birthday, brother,” Liam wishes, clapping Killian on the back again, and this feels like the most normal interaction they’ve had in years. “You’re getting on up there in the years.”

“Says the man who’s closer to forty than thirty now.”

“Daddy old,” Alex adds in, and Emma lets out a series of loud giggles, having to cover her mouth with her hands to contain her laughter. Killian raises his eyebrow at her, silently asking now where did the little lad learn that? She just shrugs her shoulders, mouthing it wasn’t me at him.

After all of the happy birthdays are exchanged and Killian’s aunts and uncles and cousins (and second cousins and third cousins he’s not really sure he’s related to) show up at the allotted time, they have dinner, table full of conversation and laughter. He’s not quite sure when the last time he felt this comfortable at a family event was. Maybe he’s never felt this comfortable – and comfortable may be the wrong word, but he’s not dreading every move his family makes, knowing that they’re on their best behavior. But he just looks over at Emma next to him, hands wildly moving around as she tells a story to his aunt Carolyn about what it was like to grow up in America, and he can’t help the grin that blooms on his face. It won’t always be like this, but at least he has tonight to push down all of the dark thoughts that threaten to emerge.

It’s then that his father stands from his seat at the head of the table, wine glass in hand.

“Good evening, everyone,” Brennan greets, his lips forming a small smile. “Allison and I would just like to thank everyone for making the trip up here. I know it’s a little too rural for some of you.” The room laughs at that, and Emma turns to him to mouth how in the hell anyone could consider this rural. “But nevertheless, I’d like to make a birthday toast to my youngest, Allison’s baby as she still calls him despite Killian’s protests. Killian, my boy, you’re twenty-nine now. At your age I was this unrefined, unmarried man whose mother had to remind him to get his clothes washed before he went on to an event as a representation for Britain. You, on the other hand, are this intelligent, well-composed, brave young man who understands more about life and love than I think I ever have. To see you come into your own, find a love of your own, especially in the last few months, brings me a joy that I didn’t know was possible. So may you continue to be as happy and as vibrant as you are tonight for the rest of your days! Happy birthday, Killian!”

The room echoes with happy birthday, Killian, smiles gracing the faces of people who usually look so stern when all gathered together. His parents are beaming at him, Brennan kissing Allison’s cheek as she wipes away a tear that’s fallen to her cheek.

“Happy birthday, Killian,” Mary Margaret echoes, reaching over Emma to pat his arm. “Now not to be nosy, but has Emma given you her gift yet?”

“Mom,” Emma hisses, lightly smacking Mary Margaret’s arm, her lips slightly parted in surprise.

“What? I wanted to know if he liked it!”

“I wasn’t going to give it to him until later.”

Emma looks so frustrated with her mother, like Mary Margaret actually gave away whatever this secret present is. She didn’t, and while he’s bloody curious, he can wait until later since Emma obviously wants to give it to him alone.

“Oh,” Mary Margaret squeaks, placing her hands on her lap as David tries to hide his laughter next to them. “Well you’ll have to call me and tell me in the morning.”

Emma leans her head to her left so that she can rest it on her mother’s shoulder, the two women interlacing their fingers. “I will, Mom. I promise.”

The rest of their time there goes well, everyone in that blissful state of being just buzzed enough to let their inhibitions down. He and Emma somehow get roped into having dinner with his parents next week, and Emma’s grip on his hand tightens the slightest bit. The four of them have been trying to spend more time together, them getting to know Emma for the first time and Killian for the second time around – possibly the first if he truly considers it. Despite that, or possibly because of it, Emma’s still tense around them, for more reasons than one. But she handles it as best as she can, and he couldn’t be more proud. She handles it with more grace than he ever has.

Later that night he’s lying in bed, reading his book like the old man he now is, and Emma saunters out of the bathroom, clad in nothing but the lacy black bra and underwear she had on under her dress. He doesn’t pay her much attention, trying to finish the chapter he’s on, but then she’s crawling over the covers and onto his lap, knees on either side of his thighs.

“Babe?” she prods, nestling further into his lap, and honestly it’s killing him not to buck his hips up into hers, the early friction already enough to send a buzz down his spine. But this is the path he’s chosen to go on tonight for some insane reason. The old age must be making him delusional.

“Mhmm,” he answers back, flipping his page.

She starts kissing the side of his neck, working at the skin between his neck and his collarbone, worrying a faint bruise there that won’t show in the suit he has to wear at his events tomorrow. Crafty lass she is.

He’s got no idea what’s going on in his book anymore. It’s like he’s never read before in his life, pleasure coursing through his veins distracting him. She’s working her way back up his throat, slowly running her tongue across his jaw before she starts nibbling on his ear. He’s just about to give in, to pull her lips to his and her body so close they’re basically one, when she pulls back, propping her hands up on his shoulders and adjusting herself so that her hips are no longer aligned with his.

He could groan at the lack of contact. He does groan at the lack of contact.

“What are you doing, love?”

“Well I was trying to seduce you for your birthday.”

“Is this my present?” he questions, fingering the cup of her bra, lifting it so that the top of her nipple is exposed as his other hand runs down her side, cupping her waist. “As much as I appreciate this, and I do plan on appreciating it later, I can’t help but think that this is quite the odd present to have told your mum about. And for her to be excited about it on top of that. I didn’t know you shared about our sex life with your mother.”

Her face twists, lips pursing into a scowl. “The only person who gets details on our sex life is you, despite Ruby’s protests now that she knows about you. And this is definitely part of your present, but I do have something else if you want it.”

“Of course I do, darling.”

“Okay,” Emma tells him, extracting herself from his lap and making her way to the closet. The cut of her panties makes her ass look particularly firm, and he’s really beginning to regret not immediately devouring her when she came out of the bathroom.

She’s wrapped herself in her dressing gown by the time she comes out of the closet (he has to hold back a groan at that because damn) holding two wrapped presents that have bows that he’s come to know as Mary Margaret’s specialty.

“So Mom doesn’t know about the first gift,” she motions between the two of them before settling beside him on the bed, her feet tucked under her as she faces him, “but she did help me pick out this other stuff. I know we go over this every time we have a holiday or anniversary or whatever, so you know the drill. It’s not super expensive or nice or –”

“Hey,” Killian reaches forward to press his thumb against her chin, running it back and forth as he smiles down at her, “and you know that I don’t care about any of that stuff. We do the same routine every year. I think we should probably stop doing it.”

She leans down to kiss his thumb, nuzzling the finger further into the dent of her chin as her eyes flutter shut.

He loves her so much it’s ridiculous.

Emma hands him the larger package. It’s light to the touch, and he puts it next to his ear, shaking it slightly to see if it makes a sound. His father used to do that to presents when Killian was younger, and it’s one of his traits that he got from his father without ever realizing it. Emma hates it, and once she realized he did it, she’s always made sure to never wrap anything fragile.

“You can open that one first because it’s the more casual one.”

When he opens the box it’s to several new dress shirts, all different shades of blue and white, some with stripes or small dots. He just smiles at her, folding each shirt back into the box before she shoves the smaller box into his hands. Inside are several different sets of cufflinks, ranging from normal black and gold circles to ones in the shape of pizza and martini glasses.

“These are fantastic,” he laughs, admiring a pair that are in the shape of umbrellas. She looks nervous, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth, and he can’t help but wonder why she’s so nervous over cufflinks. “Though I do have to ask what went into the decision making for buying these because I feel like you had a purpose behind them.”

She bounces a little from her position on the bed, the mattress squeaking with the movement. “So,” she begins, taking the pair of umbrella cufflinks out of his hand and running them between her fingers, “I pulled a you and decided to be kind of sentimental.” He leans toward her with the intention of pinching her side, but she moves away from him at the last minute. “The umbrellas are because it was raining on the night we met. The beer mugs and the martini glasses are because we’ve spent most of our relationship in a pub, obviously. The pizza is because that’s what we had to eat on our first date. Um, it was kind of hard to find other things because I don’t think cufflinks are really made to showcase relationship progress, so I just got the other ones, like the anchor and the initial ones, just because I thought you’d like them.”

“I love them, Emma. I love you.” He leans forward to quickly press his lips against hers. “Thank you. I’m going to wear the umbrella ones tomorrow.”

“I love you, too. And you are, really?”

“Most definitely. Though, if I’d had an umbrella that night we might not have met.”

Her face changes then, the nervous smile fading into a frown. “I can’t even imagine, Killian. I mean, can you? What would our lives be like? It’s just insane to think about. It honestly freaks me out a bit.”

“I know, love, but we don’t have to think about it. It happened, and now we’re here.”

Emma moves to take the boxes out of his hand, placing them on her bedside table (she has a bedside table) before curling up into his side, her head on his shoulder and her hands wrapped around his middle.

She’s quiet for a moment, nuzzling her nose into his bicep.

“How did you deal with today? With all the family? I thought everyone was good today, but I always just feel so edgy around your dad and Liam. I could tell that you do, too, even if today was a better day.”

A sigh passes through his lips before he reaches to pinch his nose, his other hand rubbing soothing circles on Emma’s back. He doesn’t want to talk about this right now.

“I’m confused, to be honest,” Killian admits. “It’s like I don’t know how to feel. Father is fine, I guess. He’s really turned things around in the effort he makes to be kind to me and to you, which is what I find to be the most important. He works with me on things, listening to my side instead of just going with his. I appreciate it, truly. But I just don’t know how to feel about Liam. He’s…he’s trying. But sometimes it’s like he doesn’t understand the gravity of everything we’ve been through. It doesn’t matter how many talks we have, how much I say. I think he knows he’s wrong and understands that, but I think he has a difficult time owning up to it, if that makes sense? It’s like he wants to say sorry and just move on without acknowledging things. And sometimes I just become frustrated to such a degree that I need a physical way to express that. I think it’s why I’m running even more now.”

Emma turns to nuzzle her head into his chest, kissing the skin there, soft little butterfly kisses that he can barely feel. “Killian, I’m so sorry. I wish I could help in some way. Make things better besides us just talking.”

“You already do, love.”

“That’s sweet, babe, but a lot of this is because of me. At least the recent stuff. You can’t ignore that.”

“Hey,” he reaches to squeeze her side before continuing to rub her back, something that’s probably more for him than for her, “you’ve done not a thing wrong, my love. It’s not because of you. He reacted to you because of the way he is. It’s from a lifetime of living on a high horse and never being knocked down until recently.”

“What would make the whole thing better for you? Do you think it’s better to just drop this whole trying to be better toward each other thing and live as you were before? Do you think it’s worth it? I mean, really think it’s worth it to try to be on friendly terms instead of just faking it when you have to? Is that something you actually want, or is it something you’re doing just because you feel like it’s what you should do?”

He doesn’t want to talk about this. He’s so tired of talking about this.

“I don’t know. I do think it’s better, that what we’re doing is better, and sometimes he and I will be having a conversation and it’s like all of the shit fades away and we’re just normal, you know? But then my brain reminds me that we’re not. It’s almost like, before I didn’t care how bad our relationship was. I had just resigned myself to it being messed up. But now, now it’s like I’m so desperately searching for something that’s just out of my grasp, and it hurts that every time I reach for it, it moves just a little bit further away.”

She hugs him a bit tighter, a sure sign that she doesn’t have any words to comfort him, left with just the physical touch that he relies on almost as much.

“Do you still think it’s possible to forgive him? Do you even want to? Not for him but for yourself?”

“Is it possible to not forgive and still try to move on with him as someone who has to be a part of my life?”

“Killian, I’m not sure. That has to be something you decide for yourself.”

He means his next words, but he doesn’t intend for them to come out as gruffly as they did, harsh and disparaging, and he knows this isn’t how tonight should have gone at all.

“I’m damn tired of thinking and talking about this. It’s like it’s been my entire life lately. As much as I appreciate you trying to help, I’d really rather not talk anymore tonight, Emma. I’d just like to go to bed.”

She’s silent at his side.

At least she’s still at his side.

#second in command #captain swan #captain swan fic #cs fanfic #cs ff

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