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lebrookestore · 5 months

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sixteen | l.dh [part i]

Pairing: Lee Donghyuck x reader

Themes: strangers to lovers, highschool! au, coming of age, lovers to exes, exes to lovers to ??, producer! donghyuck (very lightly explored), roommates! au but with a twist, second chance romance, slowburn, angst, fluff, romance, PG 15. (moodboards: i | ii)

Warnings: profanity, heavy ANGST, kissing, food, underage alcohol consumption and alcohol consumption in general, drug use, smoking (vaping, cigarettes and weed consumptions), crude humour, teenagers doing dumb shit as teenagers do, cheating, betrayal.

Word count: 21.6k

Summary: Youth is always accompanied with a fragile glimmer of hope, with you and Donghyuck viewing the world through the rosiest of glasses. But as the ephemeral days of teenage foolishness bleed into the harshness of adulthood, the rosy hue begins to diminish, and you learn that for some people, it just isn’t meant to be.

Playlist: here

Notes from brooke: hello hi, it's been literally over a year since i posted a full length fic so view this one as something of a peace offering for my inacitivity. it fully started out as a joke drabble concept i thought of out of the blue one day but as i always do, i got carried away and here we are with another angst monster 😭 i wanted to post it as a oneshot but tumblr is a bitch as usual, so here's part one. there were a lot of complications with this fic, but i'm extremely proud of how it turned out and it took a lot of hard work and time to get done so i'm really fucking nervous to put this out there lmao but i hope you guys like it and if so please leave some feedback!! (format of this fic is heavily inspired by forever, interrupted by taylor jenkins reid)

➳ read part ii here!!

prologue – then.

There was something enchanting about the boy with the headphones at the back of the class.

You didn’t think you had seen him before today, which was noteworthy considering your town's excruciatingly small geography. The students in your class were the same ones you had gone to preschool with, and you hadn’t seen a new face within the four yellowed walls of your classroom for all the sixteen years you had lived.

This begged the question - who was this foreign yet beguiling creature that took up one of the ever-sought-out back benches of the dull classroom you inhabited every day of the week? Moreover, you wondered how he had the audacity to have his listen to music while the class was in session.

“Miss L/n?”

Snapping your head back to the front, you bit the inside of your cheek to top yourself from visibly cringing at the shrill voice of your teacher, who was presently eyeing you with an extremely disapproving expression. Much to your displeasure, all eyes were on you within seconds of that unfortunate moment, making you wish you could sink further into the wooden seat you currently occupied.

“Yes?” The moment the word left your mouth, you regretted it. Faking ignorance had never been your strong point, and it wasn’t about to come through for you now.

“Would you like to tell me what you find so interesting at the back or answer the question I just asked?”

You desperately hoped no one could see the warmth infiltrating your cheeks as you shifted uncomfortably in your seat, shaking your head as solemnly as possible.

“Sorry Ma’am.”

The teacher shook her head in retirement, as if she was used to picking on you, and moved on to picking on another student, leaving you to slouch in your seat and let out a sigh of relief. You had always hated being the centre of attention, especially in embarrassing situations such as this one, and recovering from them gracefully– just like your non-existent nonchalance– wasn’t in your skillset either

You looked to your side at your classmate who delivered the answer with ease, looking frankly quite bored as she did so. It was the topper of the class– Eunsook– the girl that always seemed to be ahead of everyone else in every class possible. Her words blurred together as your eyes once again wandered to a certain stranger in the back.

Except for this time, he was looking right back at you.

This was somehow much worse than being put on the spot by your teacher, because this? This meant you had been caught on a much more personal level.

And then, as if to make things even worse, the side of his mouth quirked upwards in acknowledgement of you, and he brought a hand up to your view, waving it a little in your direction.

Positively horrified, you immediately looked away and made a mental note to never glance in his direction ever again, deciding that pretending to be paying attention in class was a good enough cover-up.

However, this proved to be quite the task, partly due to the fact that economics wasn’t the most exciting subject, and because his face had been imprinted in your mind, from the intensity of his stare to the slightest of smiles that danced on his lips while he looked at you as if you had amused him in some way.

Your teacher's frown deepened upon seeing the interaction and she cleared her throat, giving you a pointed look.

Brilliant.

“Mr Lee, please stand up.”

Oh thank god, it wasn’t you this time. Maybe you had just been imagining her looking at you.

You heard the scraping of the chair legs against the wooden floors and glanced over in its direction, only to realise that it was him she had been called upon.

Well. At least this time you had a good reason to be staring.

It gave you the opportunity to truly take him in all at once, rather than in the pathetic little increments you had to previously resort to throughout the class, sneaking a peek here and there. You studied the boy– dark brown hair that fell into his eyes, which currently wore a look of mild annoyance, striking features etched into his honeyed skin and–

Oh.

He was really cute.

“Would you care to explain why you were distracting Miss L/n?”

Fuck. You had been naive to think that you would have been let off the hook so easily, especially by this particular teacher. If you had caught her attention for the wrong reason even once, you would be the one she put on the spot for the rest of the class, and this time you had the displeasure of being her guinea pig. The worst part about it was that it was absolutely your fault.

Once again, his line of sight travelled to you, before flickering back up at the oh-so-despised teacher and shaking his head.

“It won’t happen again.”

His voice cut through the expectant silence of class and right through you, deep and with a certain patronising lilt to it. It was a stupid thought, but you thought that it suited him perfectly. A pretty voice to compliment a pretty face.

“It better not,” the teacher warned sternly. “Since the opportunity has so conveniently arisen for us, I will now introduce you to the rest. Students, this is Donghyuck, and he’s new to the class.”

A pregnant pause hung in the air for a moment before she motioned for him to sit back down.

Just as she was about to resume her teaching, the bell rang and saved you from any further humiliation. The rustle of books closing and backpacks being unzipped carried through the room, and you joined in, collecting your things and getting to your feet in preparation to leave.

The light patter of footsteps closened in, followed by a voice. “Hey.”

You looked up from arranging your books, fingers digging into the material of your bag when you realised it was him who had approached you in all his glory– this time up close. It also gave you the opportunity to take note of his outfit, a graphic shirt lazily tucked into jeans, and although it was nothing special, somehow the air he held made it seem a lot more special than it was.

Like something about him made the ordinary feel extraordinary.

“Hello,” You managed to get out, putting a hold on that thought as you met his gaze for the third time. Immediately you regretted not having cleared your throat first, despising the hoarse undertone that accompanied the singular word you had uttered. You had hoped that your second impression would surpass the first, that being extremely unfavourable, but it seemed like the world was not on your side when it came to this boy.

This new, mysterious boy you had no right to be so oddly fixated on. A smile painted itself upon his mouth as he did a once over of you, causing you to feel as if the pale blue shirt you had worn that day was much too hot under the collar, and you had to resist the urge to reach up and unbutton the top to cool yourself down. You wished you could tie your hair up among other things, and tucked your hands behind your back, playing with the hair tie you always kept on your right wrist nervously, expelling some of that anxious energy that had invaded your body while keeping him in the dark about it.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Donghyuck.” His name sounded infinitely better when he pronounced it, its two syllables ringing in your ears. Nodding carelessly, you lifted your backpack off from the table and slung one strap over your shoulder.

“I heard.”

That answer earned you an expectant raise of his eyebrow.

Right. It seemed that the manners your mother had drilled into your very psyche had finally come to fruition as you realised he was waiting for you to introduce yourself back.

“I’m Y/n.” Your fingernails dug into the strap of your bag, the sweat accumulating in the palm of your hand brushing off against it. This position was one you had never been in before, nerves all over the place over an attractive stranger, but his unabashedness had unnerved you immensely, leaving you with no choice but to grasp for your words. “It’s…nice to meet you too.”

If the option of the ground opening up beneath your feet and swallowing you whole was available, you would have taken it without any hesitation. You detested the awkward pause you had inserted in the middle of your statement, it made you sound flighty and moronic, as if you couldn’t put together basic conversation phrases.

He didn’t seem to mind though, the slightest twitch of his lips being the only indication that he had noticed your scatterbrained state– an indication you had missed on your end.

“I’ll see you around.”

And just like that, he sauntered off. You watched as his figure retreated through the doorway as you stood there, dumbfounded at the nature of the interaction. More importantly, a singular question lingered in your mind, the question of how he had managed to get away with using his headphones in class.

It would go unanswered.

i] now.

There was something so distinctly you about the woman that sat across Donghyuck.

He focused on the different items displayed on the menu he held in front of him, refraining from glancing at the woman for the third time in thirty seconds. He was supposed to have chosen what he wanted to order a solid five minutes ago, but his composure had been completely thrown off and decision fatigue was quickly setting in.

“I’ll have the steak.”

Her name was Kim Yeonmi, twenty-four in age just like him and very pretty. An elegant dark blue dress donned her figure, her dark, wispy hair tied up into a bun with a few strands of hair let loose at the sides to effectively frame her face. Perhaps it was a little too much to have a first date at a fancy restaurant such as this, with its ostentatious ambience, but he wasn’t too sure of how dating worked at all.

There was just one person he had experience with.

She looked like she was enjoying the extravagance though, bobbing her head to his choice as she gave the menu another once over. “Just give me another minute.”

He smiled politely. “Take as much time as you need.”

She looked nothing like you, but the way she muttered the names of each dish back to herself under her breath had thrown him back in time, reminding him of how you used to do the very same.

“It makes it easier to choose when I say them out loud”, you had explained one day to him. “The one that sounds better is the one you pick.”

A foolproof strategy according to you, one you defended with all your might no matter how many times he teased you about it being ridiculous. He recalled the way you’d glare at him, hands resting low on your hips and an exasperated look on your face, the one he had grown so fond of. It was something he’d tease you about, how he loved the pissed-off look you’d give him even though he was the culprit for its showing pretty much every time.

He missed the dish Yeonmi finally settled on, snapped out of his thoughts and nodded, gesturing the waiter over to place the order. When it came to her order, he let her speak for herself, a good save.

He had to get his act together.

“So,” he began, leaning back a little in his seat in an attempt to relax. “What do you do, Yeonmi?”

The woman took a sip of the wine that they had previously ordered before answering, “I work in finance.”

The information barely latched into his memory, an absent-minded nod from his end to make it look like he was genuinely listening. Like he wasn’t observing the delicate messiness of her hairdo– messiness that was clearly intentional, done for the illusion of being effortless. It reminded him of how your hair always seemed to be half out of your ponytail, but it shouldn’t have, because that had never been intentional.

Donghyuck didn’t like the way your memory haunted him so insistently at such an inconvenient time, and he didn’t understand why it did either.

“I’m a music producer,” he informed her, a simper making a show on his face at the mention of his occupation. It was a thing of pride for him, the amount of work he had put in to say those words in the same sentence as the word ‘successful’ was astronomical, but it had all been worth it in the end. Music had been his life's blood ever since he was a child and the fact that he now was able to work with it every day and it was the reason he could take care of his mother meant the world to him.

New York baby, it made dreams flicker to life. The move he made at merely eighteen had been the best decision he had ever made.

It hadn’t come without its sacrifices though. After all, no risk, no reward.

The food arrived, piping hot and delicious enough to act as an excuse for his distant demeanour. He was present enough to make light conversation, doing his best to store all the little bits of information about Yeonmi in the back of his mind on the off chance of this first date turning into a few more.

And maybe, hopefully, he’d be less of an ass about them. Maybe this could go somewhere.

The two walked out of the restaurant, Donghyuck holding the door open for her while she exited. A light pattering of pink dusted the woman's cheeks at his consistent shows of gentlemanliness, but it went wholly unnoticed by him, who refused to let her catch a cab from the busy streets of the city, and insisted he drop her back to her place of residence.

How could one not fall for Lee Donghyuck when he was just so charming even when he didn’t intend to be?

Pop songs played at a low volume through the radio, the typical ones that played on a Friday evening to make the daily evening commute a little easier for those coming back from their workplaces, but heightened by the fact that the weekend was at large. The ride was a pleasant one, the music allowing the silences in conversation to be comfortable. Yeonmi snuck a shy glance at Donghyuck through the rearview mirror, noticing the way his long eyelashes framed his eyes that were focused on the road before them.

His fingers drummed on the steering wheel rhythmically, humming along the song that played as Yeonmi spoke about how she had been obsessed with that very one a few weeks ago. She seemed to be infinitely better at traversing the treacherous waters of conversation, seemingly not even noticing how withdrawn he seemed to be.

Her chattering also reminded him of you, though a little less interesting. It was a tad comical, how he had the audacity to compare every little thing about her to the one person he had pushed away.

“That’s my apartment complex.”

He parked the car and got out of it, circled the vehicle to get on her side, and opened the door for her, causing a pleased smile to appear on Yeonmi’s face. Then, he walked her up to the lobby of the building, exchanging pleasantries and goodbyes with a muttering of a hopeful ‘see you again’ thrown into the mix for good measure.

And with that, she was gone, and Donghyuck was alone once again. The sky was a dark blue, splattered with a few glimmering stars amidst its midnight canvas, the moon hiding behind the misty clouds. He slipped his hands into the pockets of his trousers and let out a sigh he didn’t know he had been holding in, shutting his eyes and counting slowly to ten.

One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight.

It had been eight years.

Eight years since he had let go of you, opened the palm of his hand and watched as yours slipped right through his fingers. Sometimes, he could still feel the ghost of your skin linger on his fingertips.

Eight years was a hell of a lot of time, and time was said to heal all wounds. Time should have let him focus on his date instead of thinking of you and the little habits you had that had burned themselves into his memory.

Time was a fucking liar.

It was pathetic really. He had managed to not think of you for six of those years, save for the occasional moments when he had had one too many drinks and the alcohol had scrounged up cherished moments of the two of you from the vault of his mind.

But he was completely and utterly sober right now, almost too sober, he thought, for the wine he had consumed earlier hadn’t done much at all. The cold air nipped at the exposed skin of his face and face, grounding him to reality with its sudden harshness, another reminder that too much time had passed for him to be doing this. He had let go of the right to do so.

And yet, he found himself thinking of the only girl he had ever loved that windy Friday eve, her smiling face washed into the indigo skies.

The scent of a corporate office clung to your clothes, carrying itself with you as you inserted your keys into the lock of your door, twisted them, and pushed them open to reveal the solace of your apartment. You entered, slipped off your shoes and trudged into the living room where you flopped down on your couch, letting your muscles fully relax for the first time in eight hours.

“Y/n? Are you home?”

Lifting your head limply, you let your eyelids flutter open to peek over the backrest of the sofa, only to be met with your roommate standing there in the doorway of the kitchen, a smile seemingly stuck onto her made-up face. “Oh, it is you! How was work?”

You gave yourself a second to admire her handiwork from where you were sat (read: sprawled out), wishing you had the ability to do a perfect winged liner as she could.

“Tiring,” you complained with a sigh, feeling as if your bones were going to disintegrate into dust any moment.

She tutted sympathetically, retreating back into the kitchen. You heard the water running for a few seconds, and then she emerged again, walking over to you and handing you a glass of water. “Poor thing.”

Kim Yeonmi had been your roommate for the last two years, ever since a mutual friend of yours put the two of you in contact when you had been searching for accommodation after college that fits your budget. She was a warm person, sweet and helpful whenever she could be, and the two of you had hit it off from the moment you moved in, the arrangement blossoming into a fruitful friendship for the both of you.

“Bless you,” you took a sip of the water, straightening up your position to give her space beside you. She had even remembered to add a few ice cubes, the cool liquid revived your tired senses and cleared your mind.

She sat down, tucking her legs under herself as she reached out her hand, resting it on the top of your head and rubbing it comfortingly. You leaned into her touch, closed your eyes and savoured the quiet moment of solitude– the first one you have had today.

Then you opened your eyes and turned to her.

“So how was it?”

A bashful smile decorates her crimson-painted lips as she averted her gaze from you in an attempt to hide the flush that was quickly making itself known on her face. She cleared her throat, answering in the most casual and non-committal way she could. “Good.”

You snickered at her response to your simple question, “Seems like it was more than just ‘good’.”

“Well….”

Yeonmi sighed, leaning back into the cushions properly as she got comfortable and thats how you knew you had her.

“Come on, give me the details!” You disregarded your fatigue, slapping her arm playfully to convince her to spill. She laughed at your eagerness, a laugh that was laced with girlish merriment, and rubbed the back of her neck, the smile on her face not slipping from its place even once.

“It was amazing,” she confessed, much to your delight. “God, I don’t think I’ve ever had such a great date.”

You had witnessed her stressing over this date of hers since yesterday and had caught glimpses of her nerves this morning before you left for work. To help ease those nerves, you had helped pick out her outfit, made sure to respond to every one of her manic texts to you between work and called her back during your break. You were overjoyed that it had gone well for her.

This was the first date she had gone on in an entire year after her last relationship had come to an end. It was a messy breakup, leaving you with an extremely shaken Yeonmi who, in her grief, had vowed to never love someone again. Thankfully, that phase was one she got over quickly, and you were proud of how she had managed to heal and put herself out there once again.

God knows you had tried and failed.

She began describing her evening, starting with how her extremely charming date had already been waiting at the restaurant they had agreed upon. She had met this man on a dating app- the name of which she refused to tell you unless it turned out to be more than just a dead end, and after a few weeks of talking, they had finally decided to go on a date, something she had been anticipating for a while now. You listened, squealing and giggling along with her at the appropriate times to reciprocate her evident excitement.

“And you know what was so cute?” She continued, talking a little faster now that she had warmed up and was in the thick of describing the date. “He seemed a little distracted like he was just as nervous as I was about the entire thing, and that just put me to ease, you know? A suave guy is nice and all, and don’t get me wrong, he was confident, but that slight nervousness showed me that he liked me as well.”

Her gushing was endearing, and you nodded with a smile. “He sounds perfect.”

“Oh he’s an absolute dreamboat Y/n, seriously, I don’t know where or how I managed to stumble upon him, but I must have done something good in my past life to deserve this.”

You placed your now empty glass on the little table next to the couch, settling in closer to her. “You always do good, you had this good karma coming.”

“Oh I forgot to tell you the best part,” She looked at you with a serious look on her face, but her eyes were practically twinkling. “He likes Taylor Swift. He was singing along to her songs when he dropped me home.”

Your jaw dropped. “Now I know he really is perfect.” You grinned, the expression quickly morphing into a yawn as your exhaustion finally caught up to you again, and in good timing, considering she had finished talking about her date. She looked over at the clock and then back at you.

“You should go to bed, you’ve had a long day.”

You wholeheartedly agreed with this suggestion, stood up on your feet and stretched your arms out above your head. “Yeah, I think I’m gonna call it a night here.” Picking up your bag that had been strewn out across the floor, you walked to the doorway that led to your room, before turning around and facing her once again.

“Hey, one last thing.”

She gazed up at you in the midst of removing her earrings and hummed in acknowledgement, “Hmm?”

“What’s his name?”

“Huh?”

“You never told me his name,” You shook your head in amusement. “I think you were too caught up in all your excitement.” For the past half an hour, she had just been referring to him in only pronouns, something you had just realised.

“Oh,” her lips formed an ‘o’ shape in surprise at herself. “Donghyuck. His name is Lee Donghyuck.”

And just like that, your entire world fell apart.

It's funny how a simple name can knock the air out of your lungs.

That was an understatement. That name– his name– was anything but simple. The three syllables that constituted it stood for so much, things said and left unsaid, buried in the grave of your mind.

The unadulterated shock you felt at the name she uttered caused your already aching legs to feel even more unstable than they did, and your knees nearly gave out underneath you. You steadied yourself by leaning against the doorframe, a shaky breath escaping your lips as an emotion that you hadn’t felt so strongly in a very long time ripped through you.

Despair.

No. No, it couldn’t be–

For a moment, you could almost see his eyes looking at you, one moment with such affection and the next with more sorrow than you could ever begin to describe. I’m sorry.

“Y/n?”

You gripped the doorframe, feeling as if the rug had been swept from right under your feet, and focused your eyes on Yeonmi on the couch, who was now staring at you in concern. “Are you okay?”

How many times had you lied while answering this question when it came to him? You had lost count, so there wouldn’t be any harm in doing it once more. Sucking in a harsh gulp of air that hit the back of your throat, you forced a smile. “Yep. Goodnight.”

You choked out the words, spun on your heel and stumbled to your door, grabbing and twisting the doorknob in haste, your entire body weight leaning on the door as it swung open. Practically tripping over your own feet, you shut it quickly, both hands fastened to the knob as you rested your forehead against the door, using it as support for your body that suddenly seemed several pounds heavier.

It had been eight years since you had heard another person say his name, the sound of it cutting through reality itself, digging into your skin and latching onto it. Perhaps that was the cause of excess weight that seemed to drag you down at the very moment.

Fuck.

You took a minute to wonder what God was sitting above and laughing at your sorry state.

Using the door behind your back as a guide, you slid down to the ground, pulling your knees closer to your chest and interlocking your fingers in front of them, forming your very own cocoon. You pathetically hoped that it would shield you from the torrent of your own emotions.

Rationally speaking, this was most definitely a coincidence. You were sure that there were several people around the world with the first name ‘Donghyuck’ and last name ‘Lee’ – after all, it was a pretty common last name to have. The chances of this guy, Yeonmi’s perfect dreamy date being your Donghyuck were extremely improbable.

Your Donghyuck. You almost laughed bitterly. He hadn’t been your Donghyuck for a long, long time.

You didn’t know if he had ever truly been yours to begin with.

I’m so sorry, Y/n.

You closed your eyes and tried to steady your breathing, only to snap them open immediately when the image of his eyes once again rippled through the forefront of your mind.

This was ridiculous, you knew, the extremity of your reaction was wholly uncalled for. It had been eight years and one would think you would have been better at controlling your emotions, especially when it came to something, someone, that was so heavily stuck in the past.

It turned out that you were also stuck in the past. The way your legs resembled those of a newborn giraffe a few minutes ago was enough proof of that.

A groan escaped you, one that was a mix of frustration and distress. You couldn’t quite place the new ache that had emerged in your chest, a dull throb that felt icy cold, yet strangely familiar. You reasoned with yourself, your thoughts waging a silent war among each other as you laid out all the reasons why it couldn’t and wouldn’t be the man that lingered in your life like a poltergeist you didn’t have the energy to exercise.

You could hear the soft padding of Yeonmi's footsteps outside your door as she made her way to her own room and the soft click of her lock as she retired for the night. Slowly, you let yourself relax and mentally gather all the strength you possessed right then to pick yourself up from the ground and carry yourself to your bed, the usually short walk feeling like a thousand steps away. The soft cotton sheets welcomed your weary body, alleviating the weight that currently sat upon your shoulders and providing you with some temporary relief.

It was late, and it never did anyone any good to think about things beyond their control in the intimidating silence of the night. Letting your eyes close for real this time, you turned onto your side and tried to quiet your mind.

But there was still a small part of you that thought back to then.

ii] then.

He liked cookies-and-cream flavoured ice cream.

You gripped the complimentary wooden spoon that came with the cup of ice cream you bought from the convenience store, staring at the slightly melted ice cream that you held with your other hand. Donghyuck was just about done with his, a triumphant smile creeping up on his face every time he glanced at you.

“I told you.”

“Don’t gloat.”

“But your reactions are so cute,” he teased, taking another spoonful of his ice cream. Your biology class had a pop quiz that day, and Donghyuck had tried to help you with an answer you weren’t too sure about. However, his answer sounded even more incorrect than yours, and he made you promise to buy him ice cream if he ended up being correct. “I told you the right answer but no, you insisted you were right and lost the mark.”

The compliment stung a little, or perhaps that was just the summer heat prickling the back of your neck.

“I’m not affected by that,” you huffed, “I’m wondering why you chose such cheap ice cream of all the ones you could have. We just got it and mine’s already melting.”

He shrugged. “It’s not the ice cream that matters, just the fact that you had to buy it for me to symbolise me being right.”

“But there's a Häagen-Dazs right down the street. Sakura and Chenle would have immediately made me buy them that.” Your protests and comparisons seemed to fall on deaf ears as he continued to enjoy his ice cream soup, leaving you to roll your eyes at his flippancy.

“I don’t want to run you dry, now do I?” That surprised you, and it was apparent to him by the bewildered look in your now-wide eyes. Whenever you offered to pay for your other friends, they always jumped at the chance to exploit you to the best of their abilities, taking full advantage of the opportunity.

There truly wasn’t anyone like Lee Donghyuck.

You weren’t quite sure how the friendship between the two of you had blossomed, for it had been such a natural thing that it completely slipped you by. The occasional hello turned into walking in the hallways to classes together, texting each other and hanging out after school while eating cheap ice cream. It was just so easy with him, activities you would find boring with others were enjoyable in his presence.

It was unfathomable, how everything about him was so captivating. He carried himself with an effortless aura, as if unaware of how magnetic and goddamn beautiful he was because he truly was one of the most stunning people you had ever set your eyes upon in your short life. Oftentimes, you would catch yourself just admiring the gentle slope of his nose and rise of his cheekbones, and how his hair fell so perfectly.

And how could you forget his eyes, ones that you had the privilege of being under the gaze of, more so than others? His eyes were your favourite part of him, they left you mesmerised with their fiery intensity and simultaneous gentleness.

“Your ice cream has completely melted,” he pointed out, nudging your side lightly with his elbow, effectively snapping you out of your self-induced reverie. You looked at your cup, the realisation that you had been aimlessly stirring its contents hitting you.

“Oh.”

“What were you daydreaming about now?” He asked, mirth lacing his voice as he looked on at you affectionately. Over the past few weeks that he had been growing closer to you in, he had started picking up on your little habits.

You bit the inside of your cheek, “Nothing.”

“If you’re going to lie, at least make it believable,” he cocked an eyebrow. “You were staring at me weirdly.”

Warmth flooded your cheeks, you had been caught due to your carelessness, and yet you couldn’t help but feel a little offended at his choice of words. “Weirdly?”

The edge to your voice gave away how you felt at that moment, and alarmed, Donghyuck shook his head, tossing the empty plastic cup in the recycle bin next to him. “No– well yes– but not in a bad way! Good weird.” In truth, he liked taking up your attention, he would sit forever to dissect the flecks of gold that appeared in your eyes when the sun's rays fell into them, and the lingering emotion he couldn’t quite explain.

“Good weird,” you repeated softly, looking away from him and letting that sink in. The apples of his cheeks were a light rosy shade now as he fidgeted, hoping he had successfully mitigated any possible insult he had accidentally bestowed upon you. He truly hadn’t meant to, there wasn’t an ounce of weirdness about the situation in the slightest, except for the muddled feeling that settled in the pit of his stomach when you looked at him like that.

“You’re the weird one,” you deadpanned finally, and he shrugged in resignment, plucking the cup out of your hands, much to your displeasure, “Hey, I’m not done–”

“There’s no point in finishing this, it’s not ice cream anymore.”

It landed next to his cookies-and-cream cup in the bin, his matter-of-fact words flying into the wind. You didn’t bother arguing, letting your hands fall limply to your sides as you looked at him again, noting how the orange glow of the sky crept through the strands of his hair, framing his head like he was a saint of some sort.

“I’ll walk you home,” he stated, taking a few steps before stopping and turning around, waiting for you to join him. He was dependable and someone to trust, you thought briefly, biting back a smile at him. Donghyuck pushed down the fluster that was creeping up on him again.

The sunset over your little town, painting the sky in more brilliant colours as the two of you walked underneath it, knuckles silently brushing against each other as it faded to black.

Donghyuck walked into his house, a Taylor Swift song playing through the headphones that he currently had on. While he had been walking you home, the two of you had engaged in a lively conversation about the different musical artists you each enjoyed, which eventually spiralled into an entire monologue on your end about why you loved the aforementioned singer so much. He found the way you spoke so animatedly, your voice brimming with passion and insistence, extremely adorable, and clearly, you had excellent convincing abilities because there he was, listening to her.

He slipped off his shoes, placed them by the door and sighed. The hallway of his new house felt nothing like a home, but the feeling of unfamiliarity that came with it was all too customary for him.

“Donghyuck?”

His mother's lilting voice reached his ears from where she was, and he followed it. “I’m home.”

“Oh good, good,” she came into view as he made his way into the kitchen, slipping the headphones around his neck and opening a cupboard to get himself a glass. “I was thinking we could watch a movie today. I don’t have any work right now.”

He poured himself some water, thinking over her offer. He knew her intentions were good, she just wanted to spend time with her son and his answer should have been a yes, but he shook his head anyway. “I have a lot of homework to finish.”

“Oh.” She tried her best to disguise the disappointment that laced her voice for his sake, but he could hear it as clear as day. “Alright, I’ll call you when dinner is ready.”

He nodded, finished his water and walked upstairs to his room, taking two steps at a time to reach there as quickly as possible. Pushing the door open, he reached a hand out to the switchboard and then hesitated.

Donghyuck didn’t know which switches corresponded with anything.

For some people, this was an inconvenience at best, but for him, it was a sentiment he was unfortunately very used to. A painful reminder of the unpredictability his life had always possessed. In his last house, he had just about figured out the pattern of which switches were for specific items, but now he was once again left feeling stranded.

And he couldn’t help but blame his mother for it.

It was the same cycle playing out before him again, the move and the new town, the new faces that he knew would probably not mean much to him in a year when he found himself in a new place, thinking about how he wished that just once, he would be allowed to enjoy the trivial luxury of knowing the switches well enough.

One would think he’d be used to all the moving, but then again, he was just a teenager.

He also knew it wasn’t truly his mother’s fault – she was simply doing what she needed to in order to support the both of them and being a single mother was no doubt hard on her – but Donghyuck was only sixteen. It was much easier to criticise and resent her than to try and understand for what seemed like the hundredth time. He had been so understanding for so long, that now even the concept of trying to be sympathetic sounded exhausting.

Every year he’d walk through life without caring much for anyone he came across. Friendships didn’t mean anything to him for they were so fleeting, and the people who promised to stay in contact with him would stop calling and texting within two weeks of him moving. He had realised that letting himself get attached to someone was a waste of time and energy he didn’t have anymore, and had slowly taught himself to isolate himself so that every move didn’t hurt as much.

So why was it that for the first time in what felt like a long time, he felt a pinch in his heart when he thought about moving again?

And why was it your face flickering through his mind that seemed to cause it?

In complete and unadulterated truth, he had never felt such a pull towards someone as he did to you. It had always been so easy for him to keep people at a distance, but with you, he forgot about having to do that. If anything, he wanted to keep you as close as possible. You were something he hadn’t accounted for.

He flicked the first switch on. The fan whirred to life.

Donghyuck would learn the pattern soon enough.

iii] now.

The days passed quickly as they usually did, you pushed any lingering doubts about the man Yeonmi was dating to the far periphery of your mind, burying yourself in your work. You were working towards a promotion you had had your eye on for a while now, and it was more important than anything else.

But it was hard not to notice the little things that had changed about Yeonmi, the way she smiled more and how you’d often catch her hiding a grin when she glanced at her phone. It was difficult to ignore how she’d dress up and go on her dates, especially when she so often asked for your opinion and help, and you were forced to swallow your pride and assist her.

You were being idiotic, you knew, which was why you reminded yourself that this could not have been the boy you once knew.

You sighed, shutting your laptop and placing your hands on the edge of your desk, pushing yourself to your feet and stretching. It was technically your day off, but you were still swarmed with online meetings and a few dozen emails that you had to send out. Letting your hands fall, you pulled at the hair tie around your wrist and gathered your hair into a ponytail, walking away from your home desk and walking to your bed.

It was getting pretty late and Yeonmi still wasn’t home. From what you knew, she had gone to a dinner party her date had invited her to, and she had warned you she would be late and to not stay up, but it was in your genes to worry. You wouldn’t get sleep until you knew she was safe and at home in one piece anyway.

But you supposed shutting your eyes for a few minutes wouldn’t hurt anyone.

Just as you were about to slip into a slumber, you heard the faintest clicking of the door to your apartment, and along with the unmistakable peal of Yeonmi’s laughter, it woke you up. Blinking rapidly, you forced yourself to leave the comfort of your linen sheets and get to your feet, rubbing your eyes in order to wake yourself up a little bit and grabbing the robe you hung behind your door to combat the slight chill that the midnight air possessed before making your way to the living room.

You flicked the switch on as you walked into the room, squinting in discomfort at the sudden shift of lighting, lips parting in surprise.

There at the doorway stood an extremely giggly Yeonmi, the smile on her face looking like it had been tattooed on her lips, an arm placed against the wall to make sure she didn’t fall over, the other stuck in an attempt to take off one of her heels. When she failed and almost stumbled, another giggle left her, apparently unaware of the fact she was about to fall over.

Alarm rang through you as you took a panicked step forward, instinctively reaching out to try and catch her even though you weren’t close enough to do so. “Yeon-”

“I got you”

You froze as an arm slipped around her waist, pulling her back to her previous position and steadying her, and while you were glad your roommate’s fate of faceplanting into the wooden flooring had been thwarted, it was the last thing on your mind.

The first was that voice.

You knew it like the back of your hand, and no matter long it had been, you would never forget it. Even if it had changed a little, a little deeper than it used to sound eight years ago, unfamiliar with the amount of time that had passed and yet so recognizable for you.

Faltering, you slowly shifted your line of sight up to catch a glimpse of the person, only for him to do the exact same thing, presumably as a response to you saying your roommate's name and it was like everything around you had paused just for this moment.

You knew those eyes.

Eyes that were currently filled with swirls of confusion and surprise, only to rapidly thaw into a horrified look of realisation, his arm around another girl that just happened to have been the very one you had to face every morning.

The world truly did have a cruel sense of humour. You stared back at him, unable to tear your vision away from him no matter what you did.

Lee Donghyuck, in the flesh after eight long years.

It was almost unsettling, how he looked the exact same he used to. Of course, there were differences, but they were all superficial in nature. His hair was cut slightly differently, no longer in the neater hairstyle he had kept as a teenager but a little longer at the back. He was wearing clothes you had never seen before, but that was to be expected, and he had his arm around someone that was decidedly not you.

But other than that, it was him. Those stupid, splendid eyes of his, those very features that had been burned into your memory and had stubbornly refused to leave no matter how hard you tried to evict them.

It felt as if someone was standing right on your chest, relentless in their approach and crushing your lungs, every pint of air inside it being zapped out as if it was never needed there in the first place. You briefly entertained the idea of walking back into your room and staying there for the next ten years.

“Y/n!”

The spell cast upon the two of you had successfully been broken by your intoxicated roommate, who, in her state, had absolutely no perception of social cues at the moment, and certainly not of the thick tension that had descended upon your living room. She broke out of his grasp, stumbling towards you without even a semblance of grace and threw her arms around your neck in a death grip of a hug, only succeeding in contributing towards your current breathing problems.

Taken aback by her rather abrupt display of affection, you awkwardly pat her back a couple of times, managing to choke out the words, “Thats me.” Your attempt at adding a jovial lilt to your voice royally failed because the only thing on your mind was something rather embarrassing.

It was how absolutely terrible you probably looked right then.

It was silly no doubt, for you to be pondering your appearance at that specific point in time. If you were morally a better person, perhaps you would have been thinking about how you were relieved that Yeonmi was safe, but the only thing you could think of was the fact that your hair most definitely looked like a nest and that you were dressed in a ratty old sweatshirt that you had owned since your freshman year of college and pyjama pants.

They had peppa pig on them. If not for the fact that they were the most comfortable thing you owned, you would have burned them after this.

“Oh, right,” she giggled when she pulled away and saw your eyes trained on the man she had brought with her, hands on your shoulders to make sure she didn’t fall, “This is Donghyuck!”

You glanced at her and then back at him, trying desperately to swallow the lump in your throat. “Right.”

Right? You mentally cussed yourself out for that lacklustre response and cleared your throat in order to save yourself. “Nice to meet you.”

Maybe he didn’t realise you caught the split second of confusion that passed through his eyes, but you had, catching yourself before you winced out of mild guilt for putting him in such a difficult position. Nevertheless, he played along like he was in on the plan all along, straightening up and responding.

“It’s nice to meet you too.”

Two strangers by choice met again that night, heartstrings that had once been intertwined and subsequently torn apart to die out, reviving with just a simple glance and a few words. He looked at you and you looked at him, forgetting for a moment that the girl standing between the two of you was the biggest obstacle of them all.

And for just a moment there, you were sixteen.

Donghyuck left a few minutes later, once awkward goodbye’s had been exchanged and Yeonmi was safely in your care, sipping on a large glass of water in her bed.

Being around him again, even if it had only been for a few meagre minutes, had completely shattered your self-composure. Your heart was beating too quickly, your adrenaline was on an all-time high and your ability to be discreet had evaded you entirely, resulting in times when you caught yourself looking at him a beat too long.

He seemed to be having the exact opposite reaction, barely even looking at you after the initial shock of it being you standing there wore off. His eyes seemed to be glued to your tipsy roommate, talking to her in a gentle tone as he bid her farewell and promised to message her the next day.

The fact that he seemed so normal infuriated you a little bit. It shouldn’t have, you knew that very well, but you simply couldn’t understand how you were a certified mess while he seemed to be so composed, acting as if you weren’t even there. It was wholly childish to expect him to be stuck on you, but then again, you had suffered that very fate, so why couldn’t have he?

And so there you were, sitting on the edge of Yeonmi’s bed, wide awake as you watched her finish her water, just barely making out the emotion that had resurfaced within you- the green-eyed monster responsible for your churning stomach with every look at your friend.

Why?

Because the way he had taken care of her tonight was all too reminiscent of how he used to do the same for you.

“What do you think of him?”

Her words were only slightly slurred now, and you blinked, registering her question. She stared at you expectantly, eagerly awaiting your judgement over her date.

“He’s nice.”

She frowned. “That’s it? Nice?”

You shut your eyes, desperately wishing you could skip over this question somehow, but when you opened them she was evidently still waiting for you to finish. You breathed in.

Now, what did you think of Lee Donghyuck?

You had thought Donghyuck was the most wonderful person you had ever met when you were a teenager, the one person who everything seemed so natural with. He was someone you thought was home, a best friend and a lover all rolled into one. But he had eyes that tortured you, a past interlaced so intricately with yours that lingered to this very day and connections to someone unbearably close to you in the present.

Yeonmi placed her glass on her bedside table and sighed contentedly. “I really like him, Y/n.”

You hadn’t heard her say something like that about a guy since her last relationship, and she had the same simper on her face that she did back then too. There was no way you could bring yourself to even think about attempting to ruin that.

You breathed out.

“I think he’s great,” you started, fingers curling around her cotton bedsheets and squeezing, doing your utmost best to keep your voice level. “He was really good with you tonight.”

The bitter irony of it all hit you, how the guy that let Yeonmi finally move on was the very same that made it impossible for you to do so. Her smile widened while your stomach grew heavier, dragging you down as you walked to your own room later that night, your dreams tainted with images of a boy you once loved and a stranger who looked the same.

iv] then.

Being sick did not suit you.

To say that you were miserable was an understatement. If one had to accurately describe what the situation felt like to you, they would have to include a bit about you feeling as if you were losing your mind. You did not appreciate the light-headedness that you experienced everything you stood up, or the throbbing head and blocked nose.

You definitely didn’t like being stuck in your bed practically all day.

Slumped against your pillow and underneath your sheets, you sighed for what must have been the twentieth time that minute. At first, you had no problem with being able to skip a day of school, thinking that you would have a relaxing day of rest. This, of course, included catching up and binge-watching all your favourite shows and taking a well-deserved nap to catch up on sleep that your chemistry teacher had stolen from you via the dozens of assignments she gave out every week.

Your glorious plans came to a stark halt when your mother decided that you needed to rest your eyes to get better, which meant that you had been forbidden even thinking about opening your laptop or staring at your phone for too long. This had left you to your own devices, and once you had slept for two hours, the ability to do so seemed to disappear.

Staring at the ceiling grew old pretty quickly.

The soft creaking of the door to your room had you quickly drop your phone and haphazardly push it underneath the blanket, plastering on the most innocent look you could as you stared expectantly, waiting for your mother to come into your view. She did, a glimmer of satisfaction appearing in her eyes at the sight of you without any electronics around you.

“How are you feeling now?”

“Better.” Your answer elicited a smile from her, and she continued, unaware of how you had disobeyed her orders and hidden the evidence.

“Great, because you have a guest.” She opened your door further to reveal your guest and there stood Donghyuck, his school bag slung over his shoulder as he looked into your room, offering you a smile and a small wave.

You stared back at him, relief and mild horror washing through you at the same time somehow, wholly displeased at the fact that he was looking at you while you barely resembled a human being. The Kleenex visible at the end of your bed did nothing to soothe your embarrassment. The relief stemmed from the fact that perhaps the only reason you had not been too pleased about missing a day of school was that you wouldn’t see Donghyuck.

Well, at least that was sorted.

“Sakura told me you were sick,” he explained as your mother left, walking into your room and looking around. Suddenly, you were ever so slightly embarrassed by the pictures you had stuck up on your wall in the fifth grade, knowing that you were smiling a toothy grin in each and every one of them. While you hoped he wouldn’t stare at them too intently, you noticed the small brown paper bag he was holding.

Seeing the raise of your eyebrow, he grabbed the chair next to your desk and dragged it towards your bed, sitting down and keeping the bag on your bedside table. “So I got you something to cheer you up.”

Your curiosity was piqued by that, and you sat up straighter, eyeing the bag even more intently now. Donghyuck bit the inside of his cheek to stop himself from smiling too hard because of how adorable you were, your nose and cheeks tinged due to whatever sickness you had been afflicted with, but your eyes were still lively. Deciding to put you out of your misery, he took out the contents from the bag, carefully watching for your reaction.

And you did disappoint in the slightest, the sides of your mouth curling upwards in joy at the fact that he had gotten you your favourite doughnut and drink. The fact that he remembered it exactly made you grin the same grin you had plastered on your walls, taking the food from him and watching as he brought out his own favourite combination.

“I fucking love you,” you declared, overjoyed at having something with actual flavour to eat that day, before realising the words that had left your lips. Quickly, you took a bite out of the doughnut to cover it up and make it seem like it wasn’t a big deal. And it shouldn’t have been because friends said those three words to each other all the time. It was normal.

Right?

Of course, most friends did not feel their hearts beating rapidly every time the other person was near.

Donghyuck caught what you said, and for a moment it felt as if there was a lump in his throat. It wasn’t a new feeling when it came to you, the hesitancy to say something came and went as did his nerves around you. Swallowing heavily, he forced out, “Oh so you love me when I get you food. Got it.”

The teasing tone of his voice helped you relax, but if you had glanced at his face you would have realised it didn’t match his expression, which was just as tense as you were due to your slight slip-up. He couldn’t help but hope there was a hint of genuine truth in the statement.

“Shut the fuck up.”

And with that, the tension dissipated. He took a bite out of his donut and you took a sip of your drink. The silence wasn’t uncomfortable or awkward by any means, but you felt the need to fill it anyway.

“It’s not just because you bought me food, okay?” You began earnestly. “You’ve also always been there for me. I appreciate that more than you know.” Then you paused, but not for long, adding to your previous statements, “But doughnuts definitely don’t hurt, so you’ve made a sick girl very happy. Thank you.”

When you finished, you found him looking at you with an inexplicable look on his visage. The softness to his gaze had a flush rapidly rise up your neck, the simper playing on his lips laced with a hint of mirth. It was then you realised you had said a lot of nothing to him in the span of five minutes, igniting embarrassment to bubble up inside of you.

God, you would never understand how he managed to do this to you without doing anything at all.

“Sorry,” you mumbled. “I’m rambling. My dad says it’s a bad habit I need to get rid of.”

You mentally chastised yourself. There you were once again, giving him even more information he definitely didn’t ask for. In fact, in the past ten minutes, Donghyuck hadn’t said a word, it had just been you speaking. Burying under your covers to hide yourself was the first thing you wanted to do, but that would have made you look like even more of an idiot.

Why did you care so much about what he thought? The two of you were friends, he was probably closer to you than your other friends you had known since the first grade, and yet you were so deathly scared of somehow weirding him out or saying something wrong.

If only you knew what was going through his mind at that second, the sheer fondness for you that had taken over his every thought. The amount of affection he held for you was something he had never felt for anyone else before and due to that, he often forced himself to not think too much about it.

Most people had their first crushes at younger ages, but not Donghyuck. At first, he thought that he was weird, but then attributed his apparent lack of feelings to not staying long enough in one place to get attached to anyone.

Then he met you, and your existence itself rebuked that entire theory. He had only known you for a little over three months, and although this was the first time he had ever thought about someone like this, he wasn’t confused in the slightest. It was never about being able to stick around for enough time, it was just that none of them were you.

“You could talk for hours and I’d never get bored.”

The silence hanging over both of your heads was broken with that singular statement of his, melting away your nerves and replacing them with a pesky, fluttery feeling in the pit of your stomach. You blinked, processing what he had said and wondered if the butterflies in your stomach were a result of the seemingly noncommittal comment or nausea from your sickness.

You had been a talkative person all your life, often getting into mild trouble at school for not being able to shut up. You had been told to quiet down or that your voice was too loud so many times that you had lost count, and something you had grown increasingly afraid of was accidentally boring someone by being too obnoxious on accident, leading to you apologising every time you realised what you were doing.

But not one person had ever said something so lovely to you. Never had they managed to completely dissolve that insecurity with just a few words.

“Oh,” was all you managed to get out in response. The butterflies seemed to increase in regards to the size of their swarm. He grinned.

“Somehow that made you shut up though.”

Rolling your eyes, you looked away and bit the inside of your cheek to stop yourself from smiling as hard as you wanted to. “Fuck off Donghyuck,” you puffed out your cheeks slightly. “You’re so lame.”

“Oh, so you want me to leave?” He got to his feet as if challenging you, and you snapped your head back, shaking it vigorously. If you had taken notice of the coy nature of his voice, you made no motion to show it.

“No, please don’t leave me. I've been sitting here alone all day. I’m this close to going insane.” You pinched your index finger and thumb together, pursing your lips in an indignant pout to put your point across effectively. This elicited a laugh from the boy, who promptly sat back down at your request, scooting even closer than before.

And you resumed your conversation, talking late into that evening. He filled you in on the happenings of the day at school (which was followed by your complaints about how everything fun happened only on the days you were absent somehow) and you finished your doughnuts, stealing a few bites from his as well. You bickered and laughed at his stupid jokes, going off once again into one of your famous tangents with him patiently sitting through them. Your other friends hadn’t shown up to check on you, but he had, and that was enough for you.

All you did was talk, but somehow he made you feel better by just listening.

Libraries were, in your eyes at least, magical spaces where time itself seemed to take a pause while you sat within them. The atmosphere of your local one that you visited often was unmatched, whether you were there to borrow books or to sit and study for a test.

This particular library was absolutely gorgeous, with older design choices and architecture that gave it a more regal feel, something right out of Dead Poets Society. You could spend entire days there being productive, and every time you visited, you always left with a smile.

The librarian was also extremely sweet and knew you by name, but that was to be expected considering you had been going there since you were ten years old. You walked in, giving her a polite wave and smile as you found your seat, settling in and arranging your study material. You were determined to tackle a particularly arduous unit of economics today in preparation for a class test you had coming up.

Your seat was towards the back of the library, next to one of the large arching windows and the optimal distance away from a fan in a corner. It was cosy enough to keep you focused on whatever you were doing that day while also giving you the best view of the library in its entirety, making it your go-to spot.

It was due to this splendid view that you saw a certain Lee Donghyuck walk in.

He stopped in the middle, those eyes of his scanning the large room until they fell upon you. They lit up- something you could see happen even from the distance away you were and he began making his way towards your spot.

Oh, dear. It seemed like you wouldn’t be getting any work done after all.

Donghyuck slid into the seat right opposite you, and you nodded in acknowledgment, looking back at the screen of your laptop. He looked at you for a moment before opening the book he had gotten with him.

And now for some reason, even though you were in the most optimal spot in the library that always produced productivity from you, your attention was directed away from your work and towards the beguiling boy across from you. You weren’t quite sure how you felt about him not glancing at you at all right then, or why you were so perturbed by it.

Shaking it off, you once again turned your attention to the wonders of Alfred Marshall. Your method of memorisation was taking notes, or rather, scribbling down whatever was on the slides your teacher had put together and hoping for the best.

And it was then you heard the distinct slapping of a shutting book. “I’m bored.”

You bit the inside of your cheek to curb the smile that always seemed to make a show around Donghyuck, and raised an eyebrow in question.

In a whisper, he continued, “This book fucking sucks. I gave it a chance because Seulgi insisted I had to read it, but I really can’t get through a page without wanting to take a nap.” The droll look on his face almost made you laugh. “Do you happen to know where it belongs? I haven’t quite figured out the library yet.”

You nodded, getting to your feet and cocking your head to signal him to do the same. He fell into step with you as you led him to the fiction section in the back, and making sure to keep your voice low, you asked, “Seulgi has been talking to you a lot lately, hasn’t she?”

Every syllable of your sentence had been laced with forced nonchalance, and you didn’t dare look at him even once, turning into where you guessed the book would have belonged. He hummed lightly, following you dutifully.

“I guess so.”

Kang Seulgi was one of the more popular girls in your grade, well known for being in the cheerleading team. You hadn’t interacted with her very much, but from the few times your paths had crossed, she had always been very polite, leaving you with the impression that she was a sweet person. To tell the truth, Donghyuck was also talked about quite a bit, but you weren’t surprised about that in the slightest. He was a sight to behold, even if he didn’t know it himself.

So naturally, Seulgi had introduced herself to him and had begun to talk to him a lot more. You remembered when he told you she had sent him a follow request and then slid into his DM's, and him asking you to help him with how to respond since he had essentially nothing in common with the girl.

Now look, it wasn’t as if you were jealous or anything, truly, there was nothing for you to be jealous over anyway considering there wasn’t anything between you and Donghyuck. He was allowed to talk to whoever he wanted and take their stupid little literary recommendations.

Okay, so maybe you were a little jealous, but you really shouldn’t have been. You knew you were his closest friend, but maybe you were jealous because while you were his friend, Seulgi had approached him with intentions that were very obviously the opposite of an innocent friendship.

“Fun,” you muttered under your breath, successfully failing your own unbothered claims, stopping in front of a shelf and holding your hand out. “Book.”

He handed you the book, immediately noticing the shift in your mood, even if it was only slight. You glanced at the cover and frowned, pushing it in the gap in between all the books and staring intently at the other title, evidently looking for another one you had just thought he would enjoy, before realising it was sitting on one of the higher shelves in mild dismay.

The silence bothered him a little. “It really is an ass book.”

Now, although this made you feel a little better, the feeling of slight stupidity that came along with it cancelled it out. The book you wanted to give him was just out of your reach, but you were much too proud to ask for his help after replying so curtly to him when it wasn’t necessary.

So you went onto your tiptoes, reaching out your hand in an attempt to get said book down, only for your fingers to barely brush against the wood of the shelf. This resulted in you almost stumbling a little, letting out a soft sound of frustration.

Donghyuck watched you in amusement, watching you try once again and still failing.

“Need some help there?”

“Nope,” you said a little too quickly, jumping a little now and just about touching the book’s spine.

He snickered to himself and moved until he was right behind you, easily finding the book and slipping it out of the shelf, making a point to hold it entirely out of your reach and asking languidly. “Are you sure about that?”

Donghyuck knew he had bested you. He was toying with that fact, enjoying having you in the palm of his hands to play with- but not in a malicious way.

You looked up at him, taking note of the way he was looking back at you. You took note of the triumphant look in his eyes, filled with amusement at your current struggle. That very amusement laced his lips as well, shaping them into an infuriating little smirk that had you catching your breath.

And subtlety had never been your strong suit, and it wasn’t about to start being so, much to your misfortune. Your eyes were trained to his lips, and this time, Donghyuck noticed.

He also noticed the minimal space between the two of you, and how if he just leaned forward ever so slightly…

It came to his attention right then and there, in the back of that library against the mahogany shelves, that he wanted to kiss you.

The thought had crossed the periphery of his mind before- the first time it did had taken him by abrupt surprise, seeing that he had never wished to kiss someone before. With you, the urge grew a little every day, and right then it was stronger than the last time. He was sixteen without the experience of his first kiss, and he had never thought too much about it before considering it was never in his list of priorities, but with you around? God.

And he had the feeling that maybe, just maybe, you were thinking of it too.

You were practically trapped in his embrace at that very point, pressed up slightly against the books as you stood there, your breathing going shallow in anticipation. It was questionable, just how easily he had disarmed you without even doing anything, and there you were, decidedly losing your cool for no apparent reason other than the fact that he was so close by. What was it again that he had asked you?

Oh right.

“I’m sure,” your voice came out small-sounding and meek, averting your eyes away from his face and down to your feet, gazing intently at the stitching of your shoes. “You can keep that. I was trying to get it down for you anyway.”

The spell was broken when he took a step away from you, clearing his throat in order to cut through the heavy air that had settled in between the two of you. He brought his hand down and studied the cover of the book, raising an eyebrow in question. “Why?”

“Because it’s infinitely more interesting than whatever the fuck Seulgi made you read.”

He bit the inside of his cheek, this time definitely noticing the hostile tone that came with your uttering of the girls' name. As hard as you had tried to exude indifference to the matter of the book, you had miserably failed, this being proved by your incessant need to one-up her literary recommendation.

But he thought it was endearing, and flipped the book over, skimming the excerpt at the back. You waited patiently for his verdict, alternating between looking at him and to your side, peering out the window.

“Okay,” He murmured, “I trust you enough to give it a shot.”

Pleased with this, you nodded and began making your way back to your table. It shouldn’t have made you as happy as it did, seeing that he had also seemingly trusted Seulgi enough to try the book she had mentioned, but that didn’t really matter to you.

The two of you settled back down in your seats, and he opened the book up. You scoffed slightly at his newly acquired focused state, resuming your previous work now that he was occupied. Perhaps you’d be able to focus now.

Though you knew, with him around, that would never be the case.

v] now.

“Do we really need these many snacks?”

Yeonmi waved her hand in your general direction to invalidate your question, adjusting one of the bowls that contained popcorn on the small table in the middle of your living room to accommodate the one with gummy bears.

“You can never have too many snacks,” she reasoned with you, stepping back and admiring her work. There on the table sat a selection of candy and salty-snacks, a cornucopia of unhealthy that was at the level of enjoyable. “Besides, it’s the first official time Donghyuck is coming over- any minute now, might I add- and I want it to be perfect.”

Oh right. You swallowed to avoid any sort of reaction making itself known, walking over and inspecting all that she had gotten. Gummy bears, popcorn, mini pretzels, chips- it was leaning towards being stronger on the salty side of things. “Are you sure you want me to stay? I can always sleep over at Chaewon’s.”

Much to your dismay, Yeonmi shook her head, shutting down your offer.

“It’s fine, I want you to be around. He’s going to have to get used to you being around anyway, and I would love it if you guys ended up being friends.” Her words pricked your skin, and unaware of this fact she continued on. “I have a feeling that you would really get along.”

If only she knew. You forced a smile.

“Oh, I think we should have another flavour of popcorn. Cheese?” She turned to face you, expectantly waiting on your answer. You hummed, shaking your head.

“Caramel.” Donghyuck had always gravitated towards sweets, so you knew he would enjoy that better. Yeonmi rushed into the kitchen to arrange for said popcorn, and you sat down on the couch, staring at the blank television screen in slight retirement, wondering how life had managed to corner you into such a situation.

Ever since the day he dropped your roommate home in her drunken state, you often thought about that bitter reunion between the two of you, cringing every time at the recollection of your decision to pretend that he was a stranger. You recalled the confusion stirring in those still-starry eyes of his, before it melted into a silent understanding between the two of you.

At sixteen you had sworn he had to be your soulmate. At twenty-four, you were forced strangers.

Yeonmi returned to the room with another bowl just as your doorbell rang, and you straightened up in your seat, mild panic taking over your system. Before she could even ask you to get the door, you escaped the living room, your feet carrying you quickly to the kitchen and further away from the door, where he inevitably stood.

Leaning against the counter, you let out a troubled sigh. You had no idea how you were going to survive the night without losing your mind in some respect, and you also had no idea how you were going to explain your bolting to your friend without some sort of excuse. Opening a drawer, you pulled out a bowl and began looking for something to fill it with, before coming across a packet of Sour Patch Kids.

You stared at the candy, slowly tearing open the packet and tossing some of it into the bowl. When you were younger, Donghyuck had always had a pack in his school bag, whipping it out at random occasions to snack on. It was his favourite candy back then, and although you’re not sure if he was still fond of it, it was still worth a shot bringing it out there.

Clipping it shut, you toss the packet back into the cupboard and steel yourself to face him once again.

Donghyuck stared at the screen of his phone, processing the time displayed on his lockscreen. 8:30 pm. He glanced up at the sky, taking note of the stars that decorated it in splashes, before walking into your building, calling for the elevator with a press of a button.

Truly, he knew that he was a bit of an asshole, and he had self imposed this title for a plethora of reasons. He had been dating Yeonmi for a while now, and although there were no labels to their relationship, he knew it was nearing the time where they talked about plastering on said labels, something he had been now infinitely put off by. From the moment he saw you, it was clear that going any further with the girl would be absolutely fruitless.

So he should have called things off with her, and yet here he was, walking into the elevator and signalling for your floor. When she had asked him to come over for a movie night, everything inside of him had been screaming at him to simply end it then to avoid complicating things any further, but on the outside he found himself agreeing, regretfully.

That was asshole strike number two. The first strike was committed eight years ago.

Running his fingers through his hair, he used his blurry reflection in the walls of the elevator to fix up his appearance. He donned a pair of light-wash jeans and a dark blue sweatshirt today, opting to be comfy in an attempt to soothe his enervated mental state.

Reaching your floor, he walked down the hallway and stood outside the door, sucking in a deep breath. Yeonmi had mentioned that since this was a casual affair, you would most probably be present as well, and that information had admittedly stressed him out even more than he already was.

You being her roommate suddenly made a lot of sense in regards to all those mannerisms that she possessed that reminded him of you. Living with you must have had your habits rub off on her, resulting in all the intense deja vu he had been experiencing these past few weeks. At first, he thought it was simply what it felt to fall for someone, considering he had only ever experienced it with you, but now he knew better.

The reason he had let this go on was because of how much she reminded him of you. It was like he still had you after all these years, even if it wasn’t nearly enough.

He rang the doorbell and waited.

Yeonmi answered, her elated smile at his presence spurring some guilt from his end. After a hug, she welcomed him inside, ushering him into the living room of your shared apartment and explaining the set up of snacks and blankets that she had laid out on the couch. It was clear that she had put a lot of thought into the evening, and he gave her one of those dazzling smiles of his in acknowledgement.

She sat down in the middle of the couch, and he followed suit, taking one of the ends as she switched the television on, starting the movie. Donghyuck glanced around the room as tactfully as possible, noticing you weren’t present.

And that's when you walked in, grasping a dark blue bowl in your hands, answering his silent question of your whereabouts before he could even ask it.

Part of him still saw the sixteen-year-old girl he had known all those years ago, the same hair and pensive expression painting your features that he had decidedly memorised. Once you had caught sight of him, you stopped in place and stared for a beat too long, looking from him to the table before him and then down at the bowl you held.

Yeonmi turned around and the sound of your soft, padded footsteps, and cocked her head to the side in mild confusion. “Did you get something else?”

“Yeah,” your voice cut through his self-induced trance sharply, terse and quick, you switched the lights off, leaving the light from the TV as the only source of it throughout the room, and walked over and sat on the other side of the girl, grabbing a couple of the items contained in the bowl before handing it over. “I thought this would be a good addition.”

He peered over, eyes widening ever so slightly when he recognized the candy to be Sour Patch Kids that you were now slowly munching on. Yeonmi offered him some, and he slowly took it, trying his level best to not look at you in silent question at the choice of it.

It seemed intentional, but that could have just been him overthinking it. By the looks of your eagerness to pretend he was a stranger to you, you probably didn’t even remember his emotional attachment to it when you were teenagers. The thought of that saddened him a little, especially when he thought back to the times you would always get him some every time you’d pass by a general store, or when he discovered you had an entire stash in the little drawer of your bedside table, ready for him every time he’d come over. The memory should have brought a smile to his face as he picked up one of the red candies.

The situation he found himself in was entirely ludicrous, sitting by a woman he had been dating for a short period of time and another who had everything to do with him in the past, but seemingly wanted nothing to do with him at present.

But he really couldn’t blame you for that.

Your behaviour towards him was more than justified, and if you hated him- well, he wouldn’t be surprised, or even blame you a little bit. No one deserved to be treated the way he had treated you, especially by someone who claimed to love you.

One and a half movies in, Yeonmi seemed to have dozed off. It was around eleven p.m., the snacks were almost all the snack bowls had been emptied- save for the pretzels, and he couldn’t bring himself to pay attention to the television screen anymore, wholly uninterested in whatever was happening there. Instead, his gaze drifted towards your rigid figure, a little more visible now that the girl sitting between the two of you had slouched down a little due to her sleeping state.

The light from the television gently cradled your features, illuminating your side profile in a ghostly manner that made it difficult for him to tear his eyes away from you. That was the excuse he used to justify his mildly intense staring at that moment in time because the truth was that no matter the situation, he had never been great at looking away from you.

You must have felt the weight of his imminent stare, because you swiftly turned your head to face him, eyes locking with his almost instantaneously. The air around him stilled, he was afraid to move, as if doing so would break something- or perhaps himself. He couldn’t bear to think about doing that once more, wanting to protect you and himself from that outcome.

But playing it safe would only get him so far.

“Y/n.”

Your name made it out of his mouth just slightly louder than a whisper, but it had you breaking eye contact, a breath escaping you as if you had been holding it in, eyelids fluttering shut. This was the first time he had uttered your name in what seemed like forever, but he had never forgotten how to sound it out, holding it out to the wind like some sort of peace offering. Every syllable of your name was precious to him, ingrained into his memory and locked there, incapable of even the thought of escape.

“Donghyuck.”

You weren’t even facing him anymore, vision cast down to your floorboards as you responded with his name in that melodic cadence of yours, although it was currently laced with brevity. The guarded nature of your utterance did not go unnoticed either, he knew you too well to not catch onto these things, even if it had been a while.

“I…I’m not sure what to say,” he admitted, lifting a hand up and running it through his hair- an anxious habit he had retained from his teen years. Another sigh escaped your lips, and you shifted in your seat out of discomfort at the situation at hand, glancing at your fast-asleep roommate.

“She owes me so much for this shit.” Your words were completely unexpected, but it almost brought a smile to his face to know that your way of speaking hadn’t changed much either. No matter how much time passed, the little constants of life kept him grounded- but with you it only had his head in the clouds. Finally, you spoke directly to him, “You don’t have to say anything.”

Donghyuck paused, caught a little off guard. He couldn’t have disagreed with that more, the amount of things left unsaid between the two of you was the cause of the stinging tension hanging in the air, something he was desperate to attempt to dissipate. It was unnatural, all his memories with you involved everything being exceedingly easy, this was a striking difference to what he was used to.

It was his own fault. You held his stare, and it took him back to the first time he met you, when your ability to do the same was non existent. He recollected the nervous energy that radiated off of you the first time he ever spoke to you, the way your eyes would never stay focused at his for more than a few minutes. He had found it rather adorable.

That day was a bad one for him, and he remembered it in perfect clarity. In classic teenage angst, he was pissed off at the world for the cards he had been dealt, those being another new town and another first day at a new school. More importantly, he was even angrier at the person who had put him in such a situation once again- his mother, of course. He had barely spoken to her before leaving the house that morning, ignoring her meek attempts at trying to hold out an olive branch. She had made him his favourite breakfast to console him, a silent apology of sorts, but he hadn’t commented on it at all.

He had been through the routine so many times that he was tired and so he kept to himself, ears plugged with his headphones at the back of every classroom he found himself in. There wasn’t an ounce of effort to mingle with the other students from his end, his annoyances and temper getting the best of him.

And then he felt you looking at him in one of his classes, looking at you right when you had been called out for doing so. A few minutes later, your eyes wandered right back to him, surprise and embarrassment igniting in them when you realised you had been caught. He approached you afterwards, and the interaction that followed left him with a ghost of a smile on his face despite his sour mood.

He wasn’t sure why he had decided to approach you that day. There had been others who had tried to speak to him, others that he had blown off with tight-lipped, polite responses that hinted at him being wholly uninterested, but there was just something about you that drew him in so effortlessly. It had been easy with you from the very beginning.

Which was exactly why he needed to fix whatever was happening right now, at the present. “I think we need to talk.”

You shut your eyes, but he wasn’t sure if it was out of weariness or frustration.

“No, we really don’t.” There was a tinge of denial embedded in your words, if not outright refusal.

“Yes, we do,” he gave you a mildly pointed look, trying to break through the wall you had built around yourself and open your eyes to the need to get this conversation over with as soon as possible. “You know we do-”

“I don’t.”

You cut him off before he could even finish what he had to say, the finality in your tone stopping him in his tracks. The way you snapped at him told him all he needed to know: that you had no intention or desire to continue this conversation. Even so, he would have maybe pressed a little more if not for the slight tremor that accompanied intonation.

Donghyuck pressed his lips together, knowing that he didn’t have the right to insist. A stifling silence settled between the two of you, unbroken for a few seconds too long as he sat there, stunned by your minute outburst and thus, as a result, speechless. He couldn’t think of an instance when you had ever reacted like that to him, and the realisation grounded him.

He swallowed, the dryness of his throat making the action hurt a little. “I should leave.” He spoke up, slowly getting to his feet to avoid waking up the sleeping girl next to him, “Tell Yeonmi I said thank you for tonight and…and that I had to leave because I have an early morning tomorrow.”

You nodded wordlessly.

The lack of anything from your end was unnatural for him, you had never been one to not talk. It had been one of his favourite things about you.

“And…I’m sorry.”

And with that, he left you there on your couch with the very words that had haunted you for what felt like all your life.

vi] then.

Zhong Chenle was one half of your two best friends, the other being Sakura Miyawaki, and the only male hair to his family's multimillion-dollar company. Although he had been born with a silver spoon in his mouth and everyone had his beck and call, he was surprisingly down-to-earth for someone who grew up with that much privilege. Even with all the wealth that his parents had still put him in public highschool, which you supposed said a lot about how he was raised. You had met him for the first time in the fourth grade when you had been paired up with the ever-smiling boy during P.E.

Everyone in town knew where he lived and it was because it was the only mansion in the town, and saying that it was in town was a little bit of a stretch as well. It was situated towards the outskirts, but travelling was never a problem for him considering he had a driver appointed to take him wherever he pleased whenever he requested him to do so in one of the four cars sitting pretty in his garage.

You had been to his mansion several times over the seven years you had known the boy, and it never failed to leave you awestruck. The garden outside was enough to have your jaw drop, and the inside wasn’t any different with pristine white walls and marbled floors that were tastefully decorated. When you learned that he also had a pool, you seriously considered asking to be adopted.

It was due to this very fact that Chenle took advantage of every time his parents were out of town on some sort of business trip, having you and Sakura, along with his cousin Renjun, stay the night.

This time, however, was different. This time, Chenle was throwing a party.

His parents were gone for five days, and this conveniently happened to line up with the weekend, resulting in the perfect opportunity. He had never thrown a party before, but they had been happening a lot more frequently now that you were in the eleventh grade, and he wanted to dabble in the fun, insisting that all three of you needed more of that in your lives.

So you told your parents you were going to stay over at Chenle’s place for the weekend, throwing some clothes and other items that you would need into a bag and let your hair loose, hoping that it would conceal the makeup you had done for the party. When you heard the horn of Sakura's car blare at eight p.m sharp just as she promised, you bid them a rushed farewell and left your house, mild excitement admittedly drumming through your veins.

You walked over to her car, raising an eyebrow at Chenle’s presence in the backseat. The party had technically started by now, but since you had to get ready and finish all your homework for the week before you were allowed to leave, Sakura had agreed to pick you up and go with you.

This also meant that the host was supposed to be there instead of here, a host that beckoned you to sit next to him. You obliged, tossing your bag in first before sliding into the seat beside him and asking, “What are you doing here?”

“I’ve come to pick you up,” he answered gleefully as Sakura began to drive away, smiling in a mixture of amusement and annoyance back at the two of you. His voice was a little jittery, and once Sakura turned into a new lane, he brought out the flask that he had presumably been hiding underneath the seat until it was safe. “Drink up.”

“This fucker showed up to my house,” your driver friend filled you in, rolling her eyes in exasperation. “Thankfully, he still had the sense to call instead of ringing the doorbell. Can you even imagine the lecture I would have gotten if my parents saw him in this state?”

“You’re tipsy,” you concluded aloud, earning a lazy smile from the boy accompanied by finger guns on his free hand. You took the flask from him and unscrewed the top, cautiously smelling the top to ascertain the contents within, before holding it to your lips and taking a swig.

The pure alcohol hit your throat immediately, stinging it and having your features twist into a frown, but you managed to swallow it all, subsequently coughing.

“Oops,” Chenle muttered, “Forgot to tell you it's neat. There's nothing but whiskey in there.”

“A warning would have been nice, yeah.” Your neck felt warm. “Why are we already drinking?”

“It’s called pregaming Y/n, keep up. Be grateful since ‘Kura has to wait until we reach to partake in the fun. For us lucky folks, it starts now.” He ended this with a cheeky wink, his words were a little slurred, and you could smell the hint of whatever he had been consuming before. You briefly wondered how Sakura was going to get rid of the smell before she went home.

“I believe what you mean to say is thank you,” comes from the front of the car, laced with sass.

This was by no means your first time drinking with the two, since all the sleepovers at his place had consisted of stealing his parents liquor and drinking it in his room, but you didn’t partake in the act very often, and this was your first official party. You took another sip, this time a little more gracefully than the last.

“You’re the host of the party, Chenle, you’re supposed to be there. You didn’t have to come pick me up.” To this, he huffed, waving a hand in your face as if he was shaking out the truth in your statement.

“Yeah but you’re more important, so who cares?”

You grinned, now knowing that he was definitely a little out of it due to the drinking. He had the habit of going all sweet and mushy on the two of you when he had a little too much in his system.

“As much as I appreciate that,” you furrowed your eyebrows, “Isn’t that a bad idea, like, who is in charge back there? Won’t it be a mess?”

“Messes are inevitable when it comes to this, it’ll be fine,” He assured you as Sakura switched the radio on. “But if you must know, I left Donghyuck in charge to make sure no one dies before we get there.”

You decided to not point out the underlying implication of people dying after you arrived, perking up a little at the mention of your- er- close friend. “Oh he’s already there?”

“Yeah, your little boyfriend was downing a mixture of rum and coke last I saw him.” Chenle’s words elicit an immediate reaction from you, a scoff leaving your mouth as you shook your head stubbornly.

“He’s not my boyfriend.”

Sakura snickered from behind the steering wheel at your defensiveness, looking at you through the rear view mirror. “Keep telling yourself that, honey.”

“He’s not,” you insisted, cheeks feeling hot from the teasing your friends were subjecting you to blaming it on the contents of the flask you held. Half of the booze was still left, and so you continued to consume it slowly, adding, “We’re friends.”

Even you had to admit that you didn’t sound convincing at all. “Sure.”

You downed the rest of the whiskey.

“Where’s your outfit?” Sakura asked once they were done tormenting you. She was already wearing hers, a dark blue sleeveless dress that cut off a little above her mid-thigh, accentuating everything she wanted it to perfectly, paired with silver jewellery and heels. Like you, she had gotten a bag of clothes for the night stay as well.

Grateful for the change in topic, you unzipped the front of the hoodie you had on, revealing the top of your dress, the bottom part of which you had tucked into your sweatpants to hide it from your parents. “I’m wearing it underneath.” You tossed your hoodie to the side as you clarified, closing the top of the flask and handing it back to your friend to keep. “I’ll fix up there.”

“I’ll help.” You smiled gratefully at this offer of hers, nodding as you brought out your phone, attempting to neaten up your hair. Your enthusiasm was building by the second as Chenle babbled on about something inconsequential, arguing with the remaining two of you as usual.

About twenty minutes later, the car pulled into the driveway, and you had to do a double take to recognize the place. People you recognized faintly were walking around the gardens, holding red solo cups and talking, their chatter and laughter blending in with the music that came from inside the house- giving you an idea of how chaotic it must have been inside.

Grabbing your bags, the three of you made your way to the front door that was half-open, something that definitely should have been a concern, but none of you comprehended that, your teenage brains ready to let loose and have fun. You barely heard Sakura's declaration to get wasted over the cacophony inside, pushing through the crowd to get to the staircase.

“Holy shit, seniors are here too,” Chenle said triumphantly, pleased at having achieved their presence at his first ever party. “That’s sick, I’m going to go try talking to Taeil hyung.”

With that, he disappeared, leaving you and your best friend to make the journey to the top floor alone. The chances of anyone being up there were minimal, and you were going to use the private bathroom in his room anyway, so it all worked out in your favour.

Walking into said bathroom, you placed your bag on the counter and slipped your sweatpants off your legs, adjusting the bottom of your short, black dress. Sakura whistled in approval at your look after helping touch up your eyeliner, and you inspected your reflection in the large, fancy mirror, pleased with what was staring back at you. The dress had a certain subtle shimmer to it, but only when the light hit it at just the right angle, and your makeup brought out the best in your features, making you feel extremely pretty.

Perfect.

“Okay, I’m ready,” you declared, leaving your bags in the bathroom and proceeding to make your way back downstairs once you put on your heels, rejoining the pandemonium you had been so looking forward to the entire week.

The music was so loud that you were sure you were going to lose your hearing in at least one of your ears, feeling the bass in your stomach and head as well- actually, scratch that, the mild buzzing in your head was definitely due to the alcohol you had consumed before finally hitting your system.

This was going to be fun.

“I’m going to get a drink,” you informed Sakura, but her eyes were following someone else- Nakamoto Yuta, you realised, one of the star footballers on the team. Smirking, you gave her an encouraging pat on the back before navigating to the kitchen, almost getting lost due to the difference in how the house looked. You were used to the bright white walls and perfect interiors, the contrast of the dark lighting and cups strewn everywhere throwing you off a little.

Finally, you emerged into the kitchen, which was a little more deserted then the rest of the mansion. You stopped in your tracks.

Because behind the kitchen island and leaning against one of the counters was none other than Lee Donghyuck.

Glass in hand, he looked even more elusive than he already was in this light. A black shirt hung effortlessly from his shoulders, the first few buttons left open with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. Jeans and a silver chain sitting around his neck, part of you was almost offended at how good he looked at that moment.

He seemed at ease, as if he was unaware of the lawless nature of the party, taking a sip of whatever drink he had poured for himself. He looked in your direction after a few seconds, as if he had felt your stare and raised his glass up in acknowledgement, the simper that appeared on his face telling you he was pleased you had finally arrived. This broke the spell you had been under, and you walked around the island into his full view, grabbing one of the plastic cups.

He didn’t say anything for a moment, letting his eyes drag over your figure from tip to bottom and making you feel a little self conscious. You mentally chastised yourself- mere minutes ago you had been feeling extremely confident, and now that state of mind relied on his judgement, but only his.

Donghyuck had to force himself to look at your face again, one that was very obviously awaiting his judgement, it was just too easy to read your expressions. He was taken aback by how different you looked right then. A good, no, great different even. You were beautiful, he knew this very well by now, but he had never seen you quite this dressed up, and my god did you do justice to your look.

“You look amazing,” he commented languidly, and just like that, you were back on cloud nine.

Feminism had said goodbye the moment you had set eyes on him, clearly.

“So do you.” That was the understatement of the century. You almost wished you could agree to all of Sakura and Chenle’s teasing and say that he was your boyfriend, because you sure as hell didn’t want anyone else hanging off his arm right then. You glanced at the line up of bottles against the wall, a sound of disbelief leaving you. “Fuck, Chenle really went all out, huh?”

There was possibly every type of alcohol you could ever want sitting there, just waiting to be consumed. Donghyuck chuckled, the low sound sending a pleasant shiver down your spine.

“That he did. Here for a drink, I assume?”

You nodded. “Something a little light on the alcohol taste though, Chenle had me have whiskey neat and I need a break from anything too intense.”

He hummed in consideration of this, taking your glass. “Got you. Be ready for the greatest drink of your life.” You rolled your eyes, but waited in anticipation nonetheless as he grabbed one of the bottles, pouring about two shots into it before walking over to the fridge and grabbing a bottle and some ice, pouring the contents into your cup and gently tapping it on the counter to help mix it all.

“It’s peach ice tea and vodka,” he informed you as he handed it over, eagerly waiting for you to take a sip and assess the taste of his creation. “I’ve mixed it perfectly, so it should give you a kick without being too overpowering.” It was just as he said, the peach tea flavour being much more palatable to your taste buds, and you thanked him with a smile.

“What are you drinking?”

“Uhh…..rum I think. Yeah, it’s still rum,” he eyed his drink, before finishing the rest of it like a shot. “It’s the good, expensive shit, I’ve had around five of these- wait, no- six.”

You giggled, sipping tentatively at your drink and admiring Donghyuck, the pleasant buzz in your head growing stronger. A song you liked came on, the melody beckoning you towards the main area of the party with every beat that played.

“I’m going to go dance,” you declared, finishing your drink quickly. “I’ll find Chenle out there and join him.” This was your meek attempt at trying to get him to come along with you, not particularly wanting to leave his side or be separated from him even for just a song.

Fortunately for you, there was no way in hell Donghyuck wanted to let you out of his sight either, especially not when you looked like that.

“I’ll come with you.”

You didn’t object.

After a few more hours of drinking, dancing and partaking in activities that would make your parents consider sending you to boarding school, you found yourself leaning against one of the walls of the house. You were completely unaware of which room you were in, everything happening in front of you feeling as if it was taking place in slow motion, your eyelids feeling heavy.

Doing shots with Sakura was the beginning of the end for you. You had spaced out the shots a little, and since they didn’t hit you immediately you had assumed that you were doing fine, and proceeded to consume a couple of Chenle’s concoctions- the worst possible decision you could have made. God knows what he had put into that cup of yours, but it was strong.

All this culminated in you attempting to keep yourself upright against the wall, fighting your drunken stupor to the best of your abilities. You felt good, and wanted to stay awake for the rest of the party, one that had absolutely no signs of slowing down anytime soon. It was probably around one in the morning at this point, and although you were having the time of your life, the smokey, dim lit setting and being surrounded by your fellow drunks was starting to feel stifling.

“There you are.”

You slowly looked up and registered the face that had waltzed into your view, taking your own sweet time to study the familiar spaced out expression that was plastered on Donghyucks stupidly gorgeous face. His pupils were dilated (as were yours, you were sure) and his hair messy but even that wasn’t enough to disrupt his beauty. You were about to complain about this very fact, but he beat you to it, speaking once more.

“You disappeared after the first round of beer pong, and Jaehyun made me finish the game before I left, but I couldn’t find you after that.”

His manner of speaking wasn't the sharpest either, clearly very tipsy, but in an infinitely better state then you were. You had spent most of your time at the party so far by his side, thoroughly enjoying how he would hold your hand and guide you from place to place so you wouldn’t get lost and the way he placed his hands on the small of your waist, as if having some sort of physical contact with you was important to him. You especially liked how he would dip his head down, mouth right near your earlobe so that you could hear him speak over all the noise.

As he had said, it was while some of your friends had dragged him into playing a game of beer pong was when you had slipped away, not entertained by the game in the slightest. You found Sakura and with every shot of vodka you let into your system, signed away your sobriety.

“Ah,” you mumbled dumbly in response, nodding absent-mindedly, the memory of how he had his hand on the small of your back while you were dancing to the music popping back into your mind.

Music that was currently much too loud for you.

Donghyucks features twisted into a look of confusion, clearly not having heard your sound of acknowledgement. “What?”

You groaned, “It’s too loud in here.”

He seemed to have picked up on that, somehow understanding what you needed without you even asking for it. “Do you want to go outside for a little? Take a break from this?”

“Fuck yes.”

You pushed yourself off the wall, promptly stumbling right into Donghyucks arms. He looped them around you and helped you regain your standing, a small laugh leaving him, the sound having you certain you had never heard something quite so magical. “Maybe we should get you some water first?”

“No,” You breathed out, shaking your head rapidly. “I just want some fresh air.”

This was how you ended up sitting upon the pavement of the street just outside Chenle’s mansion. The cold night air had you scooting a little closer to Donghyuck, before burying your face in your hands, which rested upon your knees, as you counted to ten in your mild, trying your best to regain your bearings once more.

Donghyuck wished he had worn a jacket so that he could give it to you, but settled for throwing an arm around you to offer some warmth. The fresh air had helped sober him up a little, offering him the slightest bit of clarity as he sat there on the asphalt.

“I don’t think I can walk,” you said faintly, evoking a snicker from his end.

“You think? You barely made it out here alive.”

The music was softer outside, much more bearable. You could hear the leaves rustle gently, as if forming their own melody.

“Shut u-up.” Somehow, you managed to stutter on this very basic phrase, only inviting more laughter from his end. You didn’t think you’d be able to blame it on the cold.

“My God, you’re so fucking drunk.”

You looked up at him, somehow momentarily unfazed by the close proximity and with a defiant look in your eyes, ready to argue back even in your inebriated element. “It’s not like you’re a saint right now either.”

He puffed out a laugh at how adorably indignant you were. “At least I’m better than you.”

“God you’re so fucking annoying,” you whined. “I really don’t know why I like you so much.”

You barely registered what you said, the words leaving your lips without much restriction. Inebriation caused you to let your guard down a little too much. He froze beside you, blinking rapidly to try and gauge how serious you were.

“You like me?”

The question somehow pulled you back to reality, but only a little bit. You opened your mouth and subsequently shut it, heavily hesitating. Even like this, you knew the weight that it carried, and the risks that came along with owning up to this accusation that you had brought upon yourself with your own carelessness.

Perhaps it was the cold, or maybe it was the faux confidence given to you by all the intoxicants in your system.

“Yeah.” Your heart hammered in your chest. “I do.”

“And you’re sure this is not just because you’re absolutely shit-faced right now?”

“Excuse me? I am not-”

You never got to finish rebuking that claim of his, because he pressed his lips to yours almost feverishly, as if he had been waiting to do so for a long time. You gasped against his lips, your body responded before your mind even understood what was happening, instantly leaning into him and resting a hand on his knee to steady yourself. His hand moved from your shoulder to your cheek, cupping your face ever so gently as he moved his mouth against yours slowly.

He tasted sharp almost, the remnants of whatever alcohol he had been confusing fresh upon his lips, strawberries- probably from a vape- along with a bitter undertone that you couldn’t quite place just yet, too acutely aware and focused on the fact that Lee Donghyuck was kissing you and how his thumb brushed gently against your cheekbone.

The kiss filled you with warmth and you immediately forgot about how cold you felt previously, every sound around you fading into the background, utterly unimportant to you. You felt yourself flush under his touch, your fingers reaching out and curling into the fabric of his shirt and pulling him closer.

Donghyuck could hardly believe that this was happening either, acting on impulse the moment you confirmed that you did, in fact, like him. He pulled away after a few seconds, watching as your eyes fluttered open a little later, wide is slight disbelief, your pretty peach -flavoured lipgloss a tad smudged, now also on his lips.

“You just kissed me,” you said in awe, and he tucked a strand of hair behind your ear fondly.

“I did.”

“You kissed me,” you repeated once again, like saying it aloud would keep it real and not just a figment of your imagination, “and you taste like smoke.”

You had eventually realised what the bitterness was. He frowned lightly, trying to place why that was. “Johnny hyung taught me how to smoke a joint sometime earlier- oh fuck, did that ruin it?”

The look of genuine worry on his face made you almost laugh, and you stared at him incredulously, almost scoffing at the notion. Your fingers were definitely wrinkling his shirt with how tightly you were holding it at that moment and you shook your head firmly- well, as firmly as you could for someone who could barely stand upon her very own two feet.

“Nothing could ever ruin it.”

When you awoke, you had absolutely no clue where you were.

Tucked neatly into a bed, you blinked rapidly to regain your bearings, staring up at the ceiling in pure mystification. You came to the conclusion that this was one of Chenle’s guest bedrooms, but couldn’t, for the life of you, figure out how you got there.

You attempted to sit up but did so a little too fast, a sharp pang of pain rushing to your head and making it feel as if it split apart. A strangled sound of agony left you as you slowed your movements, opting to lean against the headboard as a compromise to sitting up straight.

And that's when it hit you.

Memories from last night rushed back to you, fractured and in hazy glimpses. You recalled holding up a stranger's hair while they puked in one of the bathrooms, awkwardly standing aside another girl who had never spoken to before as she sobbed, mascara streaming down her face, laughing drunkenly with Sakura and Chenle (that screechy laugh of his had somehow been amplified with how plastered he was) and stumbling through the many hallways of the house. You couldn’t recall anything in its entirety, having to make do with the mismash of chaotic, foggy remembrance.

But you distinctly remembered Donghyuck kissing you outside the mansion. And then once again inside, after he made you drink water, and near the staircase, and-

You placed your hands over your warming cheeks. It was quite amusing, how the only thing you remembered perfectly was making out with him.

Carefully, you got out of the bed, gritting your teeth to bear with the pounding in your head. You were still in your dress from last night, and there was no way in hell you were going downstairs looking like this. Somehow, you found your way to Chenle’s room, which was thankfully empty, and shut yourself in his bathroom, before sighing in resignation at your reflection. Your eyeliner was smudged around your eyes, makeup completely demolished- you were sure that your skin was crying because you slept in it.

Your bag was still there, and you removed the extra clothes you had brought along, freshening up as quickly as you could and changing. It felt good to get out of the tight dress and into a pair of shorts and a loose t-shirt, washing all your makeup off. Deeming yourself finally presentable, you began your journey downstairs.

Downstairs, as you had referred to it as, had been completely trashed. Solo cups and bottles of alcohol were strewn everywhere, along with random shoes lying about. You grimaced at the sight that somehow contributed to your migraine, walking past it all to the kitchen, where Johnny stood near the stove, flashing you a bright smile.

“Y/n! Good, you’re awake. Take a seat, my famous pancakes are almost ready.”

Chenle was slumped over the island, sitting at one of the stools around it. He glanced up at the mention of your name, and somehow, the boy looked worse than you felt. You occupied the seat beside him, cocking your head to the side and silently asking why Johnny Suh of all people was still around, when it seemed like everyone else had dispersed.

“I threw up twelve times last night,” he offered instead, a certain hoarseness in his voice. “Johnny stayed over to make sure I didn’t die, and handled almost everything after. Somehow, he doesn’t get hangovers.” The last bit of information sounded a little like your friend was complaining over how unjust it was that he had to deal with a hangover, while the senior didn’t.

“It comes with experience,” Johnny said wisely, putting the pancakes he had made onto a plate and sliding it over to the two of you. “Leave a couple for your other friend, I think she’s still sleeping.”

You nodded, grabbing a fork and immediately dug into the breakfast he had so kindly cooked for the two of you, trying to pay attention to his speech about how pancakes were the best cure to a hangover and nod where you thought it was polite to do so, but your thoughts drifted away from him and to a certain boy.

Donghyuck had also been pretty drunk by the end of it all, you were sure. Chances were he didn’t even remember kissing you, but that singular thought was enough to have your stomach plummet.

“Y/n? Are you listening?”

“Yes?” You snapped out of it, biting the inside of your cheek hard.

Chenle rolled his eyes, but grinned. “The party was a success, Johnny hyung himself just said so!” Safe to say, Chenle was on cloud nine. You, on the other hand, were a mixture of anxiety and elation, which was a most confusing combination to unpack. The older boy smiled in hilarity, somewhat seeing his younger self in your friend.

“The next will be even better.”

As Chenle began planning the hypothetical future party (with a raging hangover, mind you- he truly was shameless), you stuffed your face with another morsel of pancakes, soaked in maple syrup, hoping that it would soak up the remaining alcohol in your system and help you think clearly about your circumstance.

By the time Sakura emerged from her slumber, it was around noon, and the pancakes had long been devoured.

You arrived home in the evening to an empty house and a note from your parents saying that they had decided to go on a date night. This worked out well in your favour, considering you had no energy to deal with anything after the events of last night. Johnny, being the only one completely in his senses, had driven Sakura’s car back with the two of you, making sure you reached home safely.

Flopping down onto your couch, you shut your eyes for a few seconds, deciding that what you needed to recuperate was a calm night. Perhaps you’d watch a few movies and order pizza.

These glorious plans of yours were quickly thwarted when you heard your doorbell ring.

Suppressing an annoyed groan, you forced yourself to answer the door, your eyes widening at the sight of Donghyuck standing there. Your mind immediately scrambled on seeing him, not a single coherent thought forming, which led to a most intelligent greeting from your end.

“Uh.”

He raised an eyebrow, glancing behind you and into your house. Embarrassment flared up inside of you, and you coughed awkwardly, opening the door wider and shuffling to the side. “Right, wanna come in?”

So now he was in your kitchen, and you had no idea what to talk about. “When did you leave Chenle's?”

“Early morning,” he informed you, eyes following your every move as you poured yourself a glass of water, sipping on it to curb the awkwardness in the air. He paused, studying you carefully and slowly asked. “How was the hangover?”

“Terrible,” you groaned, the insistent throbbing of your head proving this. You finished up your water and walked closer to him. “It’s still there. I’m never drinking again.”

He snickered disbelievingly, a glint in his eyes that represented an emotion you couldn’t quite place yet. “Liar.” He seemed distracted, tapping his foot rhythmically against your floor. You briefly wondered how his hangover had dissipated so quickly, envious of the fact.

“Listen buddy, I’m a quick learner, and I’ve learned that being wasted is not worth the consequences.”

You said this in a joking manner, but there wasn’t even a hint of hilarity on his face, a serious expression facing you instead. Panic seized you for a moment, wondering if he truly didn’t remember the kiss, or if he did and regretted it. Maybe he was here to tell you to forget it ever happened, that it was just a drunken mistake from his end and that it would never happen again.

Maybe, you were just a terrible kisser.

“You were supposed to laugh,” you muttered weakly, your anxiety clawing at your chest. If he was about to reject you and crush your heart, you needed there to be more space between the two of you, and instinctively took a step back, moving to take another right after, but you were stopped.

Donghyuck grabbed your wrist, pulling you forward until you were right in front of him, his determination crystal clear.

“I am not your buddy.”

He said the word with resentment almost, staring at you hard. You swallowed thickly, not quite knowing what to say, terrified at the possibility of this being him cutting off your friendship as well. Him not liking you romantically was bad enough, but him wanting nothing to do with you was even worse. You couldn’t imagine not having Lee Donghyuck as at least a friend.

Pressing his lips together, he asked. “Do-do you remember everything from last night?”

The question hit you like a train, and the stutter in his voice- the hesitation, it suddenly cleared all of the terrible outcomes you were thinking of. He definitely remembered, and it seemed like he was afraid that you didn’t. It dawned upon you right then that it was quite possible that both of you were royal idiots.

You sucked in a sharp breath. “Not everything.” His grip on your wrist was gentle and warm, you could see him swallow, a flicker of dread passing through those brown eyes of his as he rephrased his question.

“Do you remember what happened between us?”

How could you possibly forget? It was the only thing you could remember, the ghost of his kiss still lingering upon your lips that yearned for the feeling once more. Your confession was fresh on your mind, being the only thing you had thought about from the moment you awoke.

“You know I do.”

Your voice was quiet, refusing to look at him properly. His other hand rose to your face a few seconds later, fingers gripping your chin and tenderly angled your face upwards so that you were forced to, your face just inches away from his. You desperately hoped he couldn’t feel the slight tremble of your hand, feeling vulnerable without the courage that alcohol supplied to you.

“You know what? I don’t think I do know.” The coy nature of his voice did not go unnoticed by you. “I think I might need something to refresh my memory.”

You gawked at the boy, completely in disbelief at the sheer audacity he displayed right then, purposely playing with your already extremely frazzled mind in such a manner. You released your hand from his, hitting his arm weakly in annoyance.

“You’re so lame,” you declared, and he frowned.

“Lame? I’m trying to be smooth over here!” He genuinely sounded kind of distressed, and you couldn’t help the smile that erupted upon your face, even if you did your best to look as annoyed as possible.

“If you want me to kiss you, just say so, you idiot.”

He hummed as if deep in thought, only putting you more on edge. Slipping the hand that held your face behind your neck, he nodded softly and followed your instructions. “Fine, I want you to kiss me.”

He pulled you closer by your waist, fingers entangling in your hair as you closed the distance between the two of you. You threw your arms around his neck, kissing him almost feverishly, more than eager to experience it while sober. He smiled against your lips, which was enough to bring forth giggles from your end.

You kissed him until you were breathless and felt flushed, dizzy from just how long you had truly been waiting for this. Pulling away, you looked at him, searching for an answer to a question that had popped to the forefront of your mind.

“We just kissed.”

“For the second time,” he added helpfully.

“Right. And you’re not my buddy?” You raised an eyebrow, almost as if you were purposely provoking him.

“Please don’t friendzone me on day one itself.”

A laugh left you, and he let his other hand fall down to your waist, interlocking his fingers right by the small of your back as if he was securing you in place, making sure you wouldn’t disappear in that moment. Not that you wanted to anyway, being quite content with where you were currently.

“I won’t.” You promised, biting the inside of your cheek as apprehension suddenly came over you. “So then…?”

“Y/n, will you be my girlfriend?” He cut off the pointed silence with his question, one that had you nodding before you even verbally announced your answer. The shy yes that you pronounced earned you that marvelous smile you so loved, and you buried your face in the crook of his neck, hugging him tight, as if trying to memorise every detail about what had just happened.

You were only sixteen, and perhaps still hopelessly unaware of the magnitude of your feelings towards Donghyuck, but somewhere in the uncertain haze that you had to navigate, you always knew that every path would always lead you straight back into his arms. You’d figure it out with your hand safely tucked in the pocket of his jacket, intertwined with his so firmly it felt as if he would never let go.

After all, what was love, if not the sweet promise of forever?

part i fin.

375 notes · View notes

equxvedits · 5 months

Text

Just One Chance

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ Synopsis: Senju makes a promise to wait for [name] before [name] moves. She's back after 10 years but loving Senju seemed to have backfired on her. Now, as she wallows in self-pity she is reunited with her ex, Mikey.

note: this is an alternate ending for my senju fic. you don't need to know the story but if you're interested you can find it here.

・❥・requests

WARNINGS: MDNI, 18+, Smut, Oral Sex (f.receiving), Fingering, Squirting, Masturbation, Slight Somnophillia, Dacryphilia, Slightly OOC Mikey, Cringe Arguments, Manipulative Reader [she is very selfish], Non-Canon Couples, Drinking, Mentions Of A Foursome.

・❥・wc: 7.8k

・❥・masterlist

"Hey, [name]!" Hearing a faint shout from behind her, she turns around whilst taking off her earphones. She is met by Takeomi and a woman who were making their way through the airport crowd.

She also starts to walk towards them, her black suitcase dragging behind her.

As soon as she was an arm's distance from them, Takeomi pulled her into a hug. Despite cringing slightly, [name] couldn't stop her lips from perking up into a soft smile.

"How are ya, [name]?" Takeomi asks her, pulling away. She replies with a faint 'good' before Takeomi is pushed away by the woman who was beside him.

"Hello [name]-chan, it's so nice to meet you." The red-head woman offers a handshake which [name] accepts.

"Hello, Rika-san, and likewise. Again, I'm really sorry for not attending the wedding, I had crucial exams that week." [name] replies, maintaining her professional tone.

"Awhh, that's no problem honey, also relax, you sound so stiff!" Rika chuckles.

"I don't- this is how I talk." [name] says, tilting her head slightly.

"Damn, I'm still not used to you talking so politely, architecture uni really killed your attitude, didn't it?" Takeomi laughs out.

"Or maybe it's cause I'm no longer 17." [name] rolls her eyes.

"I definitely spoke too soon, the attitude is still there! Anyways, give me your luggage so we can leave already, I hate airports." Takeomi shudders and takes the suitcase from her.

"Honestly, you and your dislike for airports." Rika scolds jokingly but nonetheless follows her husband.

The ride home was quite enjoyable in [name]'s opinion. Rika and she kept chatting away, especially the former, but she did get questions about her job thrown at her which she answered happily.

[name] had worked extremely hard to get into this profession so, of course, she'll speak proudly of it.

After some time, they finally reached home. When Takeomi was pulling up the car, she noticed her brother, Wakasa, walking out the front door.

As the car halts, she immediately jumps out and goes to hug her brother, and he does so without any complaints.

"I missed you..." He smiles into the embrace.

"Obviously not enough to come pick me up." [name] rolls her eyes playfully. He grunts at her comment but smiles when he notices that she has started to become comfortable showing more emotions.

"Okay, come on, let's go inside. Freshen up, I'll prepare some food."

It had been a day since she arrived back in Japan, 24 hours yet she still hadn't seen the person she longed for the most.

Right now she sat at the dining table across from Takeomi and his wife, as Wakasa cooked dinner.

She was wearing a pair of comfortable shorts but was wearing a white formal dress shirt since she had just gotten off an online meeting a few minutes ago.

Not being able to contain her thoughts of the pink-haired girl, she confronts Takeomi about it.

"Takeomi-nii, where's Senju?" [name] finally let the question spill. Takeomi freezes. She also didn't miss how Wakasa momentarily paused his cooking.

"What..?" she asks hesitantly, her mind filled with awful thoughts.

"[name], Senju...she uh.." Takeomi lets out some incoherent babble not knowing what to say.

"Nii-san?" she turns to her brother this time who also froze up, not giving a proper explanation.

[name] immediately stands up and runs out ignoring her brother's calls from behind her. The cold air hit bare legs.

She doesn't pay mind to her shorts that keep riding up with every speeding step. She took in heavy breaths but didn't stop till she reached Senju's apartment building.

Finally halting, takes a moment to recover her breath. Entering the building she first checks the nameplates.

If [name] remembered correctly, the Akashis' flat was 703. And she was correct, except that instead of Takeomi's name, the apartment seemed to be owned by Akashi Senju.

PING!

She heard the elevator open from behind her. She turns to see a few people emptying out of the elevator, when it is finally clear of people she enters the elevator.

Pressing the 7th floor she secretly admires the interior of the elevator. She couldn't believe how much this building had changed over 10 years.

The elevator door opens up as it reaches the 7th floor and instantly walks out of it. Walking along the corridors she searched for the door with the number '703'.

Her eyes finally catch the said number and her feet move her towards it. Her vision slightly darkened due to her nervousness but still found the strength to ring the doorbell.

Immediately, she hears a few shuffles as a few footsteps grew closer to the door.

The door swung open as [name]'s face brightened at the thought of finally seeing Senju again.

Except, it wasn't.

Instead of seeing Senju's light pink hair, she was greeted by light brown hair.

"Yes..?" The shorter woman in front of her spoke.

"Oh-um...is Senju here?" [name] asks in a faint whisper, suddenly losing her voice, her head instinctively lowers to face her feet.

"[name]?" The other questions in a shocked tone. [name] snaps her head back up, taking a moment to realize who she is speaking to.

"Yuzuha?" She questions, her heart beginning to pound.

"Ugh, who is it love?" [name] hears a familiar voice, noticing how it had grown slightly mature.

The girl that she loved walked into the frame, her eyes widening at the sight of [name].

Senju sucked in a breath, shock embedded on her face as she stared at [name] with guilt in her eyes.

"Um, [name] please come in..." Yuzuha moves out of the way. [name] mindlessly agrees, taking off her shoes and walking in.

She was so stunned she failed to notice her actions.

"You both should talk, I'll be inside if you need me." Yuzaha gives a sad smile and walks further into the apartment.

Their lips were sealed shut, both were unable to start the conversation, that was until [name] noticed a shiny rock on Senju's ring finger.

"You're married?" [name] asks. Following her gaze, Senju lifts her hand and fidgets with the ring.

"No, just engaged." Senju replies with a quiet voice.

"Since when?"

"Just now actually..." Senju answers.

[name] closes her eyes, her head tilting back slightly as she accepts the reality of the situation. Her roughed-up appearance made sense now.

They were going to have sex.

[name] felt her throat close up, her heart frantically beating in an unpleasant way.

Oh, it hurts...

It hurts so much.

She only now realized how much pain Senju had been put through during their teenage years.

"[name]...I-"

"Don't." [name] interrupts her.

"It doesn't matter." She continues, releasing a heavy breath.

"[name] please-"

"Stop Sen-"

"NO, LET ME SPEAK!" The shorter female says raising her voice. [name] stills.

"I- I'm sorry, [name]." Senju's voice wavers as she apologizes.

"Sorry about what?" [name] snaps, her question coming out more stern than she intended.

"I- I-" Senju starts but is cut off when [name] sighs sadly.

"You're sorry that you moved on from me? You're sorry that you broke your promise that you'd wait for me? You're sorry that you're engaged?" [name] asks her.

Senju says nothing except look at the floor guiltily. [name] lets out another sigh.

"You found someone you love and makes you happy. You have nothing to be sorry about Senju." [name] says.

"Then why are you looking at me like that?" Senju asks, finally meeting eyes with [name]. Her vision blurred with tears noticing the [name]'s countenance.

"Like what?"

"Like you're disappointed in me..." Senju replies in a whisper.

"I am disappointed, but not at you. I am disappointed in myself because I let you down for so long. So if it's anyone that should be sorry, it's me." [name] says but Senju denies shaking her head, tears rolling down her face.

"Please Senju, you just got engaged. Please don't ruin such a happy occasion crying over someone like me..." [name] turns and walks closer to the door.

When she finished wearing shoes, a broken sob reached her ears.

[name] refused to turn around, because she was aware that if she did, she would break completely.

As much as she wanted to comfort her, [name] knew...

Senju was no longer hers to comfort.

"Goodbye, Senju." [name] says and walks out, pulling the door shut behind her.

[name] walked into the convince store hoping to buy some ice cream. As much as she hated sweets, she wanted something extremely cold.

She hoped to get a brain freeze while eating it, that might help to cool her raging thoughts.

Once reaching the ice cream section, she gets distracted by the alcohol refrigerator right next to it. Against her better judgment, her hand reaches for the sake bottle.

Five minutes later she was sitting on the pavement with two beers and a pack of cigarettes.

After realizing she didn't have enough money on her to pay for sake she decided to settle for a can of beer and a cigarette pack. The second beer came with the buy one got one free offer, a total steal honestly.

Although she was never a fan of drinking or smoking, the night called for it. She stands up and decides to savor the commodities in her hands at her favorite spot.

Reaching the rooftop of the abandoned building, she reminisces about the moments spent at the bowling area that was just a floor beneath her.

It was her and Mikey's favorite spot.

Oh my god, Mikey...

She hadn't seen him since that day, and honestly, she was glad. She certainly didn't have the courage to face him.

She sat down near the door, knowing she'll be drunk off her ass in the next few minutes, and wanted to avoid any accidents just because she couldn't cope with a stupid heartbreak.

She took out a single cigarette and placed it between her lips going to light it a bit then realized, she didn't have a lighter...

Letting out a grunt of frustration at her foolishness she places the stick back into the box. She clenched her teeth in anger knowing she just spent 500 yen on cigarettes that couldn't even use.

Despite wanting to chuck the pack away, she didn't. Instead, she held it close.

They were of Benson & Hedges, Shinichiro's favorite brand.

[name] sighs. This is why she left, just a day back in Japan and she's already depressed. She wished she had never come back, she was happy in the Philippines, but again, she couldn't just leave her brother behind.

She opens one of the beer cans and starts sipping from it.

Knowing that her alcohol tolerance was non-existent she only decided to drink just a bit, making sure to stay coherent enough to walk down multiple stairs and go back home.

But of course, God has never been on her side, has he?

Sips turned into gulps and within the next minute, she had already started sipping on the second can.

She didn't know if it was the slight anger towards Senju, or because she was here on the rooftop, but she found her thoughts slipping from Senju to Mikey.

She smiles fondly remembering how much this place meant to her, to them.

They had shared many firsts here. Actually, except for their first kiss, every other first happened here.

The first time they drank, the first time they tried to smoke, first proper confessions, first date, first 'I love you's, the first time they--

[name] cringed at the memory, she couldn't believe how reckless they both were at the time, but what did two 14-year-olds know at that time?

That's what love did, it made them feel like they were the only ones here, and it truly made them feel invincible.

Love is such a dangerous emotion for someone so young, but they both fell into its captivity without realizing it.

They say that an average person falls in love three times.

The first love. The type of love that happens at a young age which is frequently referred to as puppy love.

It feels euphoric at that time and being young and inexperienced doesn't make you understand what you truly feel.

As you get older, you think back to it and try to figure out if it was really love.

Mikey was her first love.

Then comes the second love.

It is said to be the painful one, it's the one that helps you grow.

It's said to come with a lot of pain, lies, betrayal, drama, and so on...

And although she was grateful Senju never put her through all this, she wouldn't deny that Senju was her second love.

Lastly, it's the third love.

It's usually the one.

[name] could only wonder when she'll find her third love.

It's said to come blindly; when your soulmate just walks into your life unexpectedly--

"[name]...?" A soft yet stern speaks from behind her.

[name] felt her heart drop and her breath got stuck in her throat.

Just when she was having an inner monologue about love he just had to walk into her life again, didn't he?!

"M-Mikeyy...~" [name] slurs turning to face him.

"What are you doing?!" Mikey raises his voice in shock seeing how drunk she is.

"Oh just thinking about all the times we fucked here, why else would I be here?" [name] smiles although in her mind she cringes, not believing she some something like that.

'I am never drinking again.' [name] promises herself.

"Come on, I'll take you home..." Mikey walks towards her and takes hold of her wrist.

"No! Come sit and d-drink with m-*hic* me~" She tugs him closer but he doesn't budge.

"[name], lets go." He says sternly once again, but she only shakes her head.

"No- come on just a drink, just like old times~" [name] pushes her half-empty can of beer into his face.

He sighs in defeat and takes it from her.

"If you insist." but instead of drinking, he chucks the can over his shoulder obviously not realizing how much force he used because it ended up falling over the roof and landing on the road with a soft clatter.

[name] gaped at him in shock.

"No! Why did you do that?!" She stands up immediately and goes to push him, only to miss and trip over her own feet.

Luckily, he stopped her fall. [name] looks back at him, only to realize she was seeing two of him, her vision suddenly blurred as she felt herself sobering up at the sight of him.

She finally got a good look at his face, and for a second the same feeling of love filled her stomach.

"Manjiro..." Her vision clears up and her eyes fall on the dragon tattoo on his neck.

Lifting her hand she traces the ink on his neck, slowly striding closer, and instinctively places her lips on his.

But to her disappointment, he doesn't respond and pulls away within the very second.

They both stand in silence trying to understand the situation. She was surprised by her own actions, the shock sobering her up completely.

She takes a few steps back and starts apologizing.

"I'm sorry, that was very out of line...that was definitely not fair to your girlfriend." [name] says, the words spilling out before she can stop them.

"Oh? So it's fair to me?" Mikey replies haughtily. [name] shakes her head.

"It's unfair to you too..." She looks away, unable to muster up to courage to look at him.

"Hmm, don't worry about it. Plus, I don't have a girlfriend." He replies.

"Oh, boyfriend...?" She asks.

"No boyfriend either, [name]." Mikey says.

"Then...why did you pull away?" She asks nervously looking down at her feet.

"Maybe because we're not together? Also, the fact that you're drunk?" He replies with a soft voice.

"R-right...also, I'm not drunk. I just got a bit tipsy and wasn't thinking straight, so sorry for that..."

[name] felt emotionally distraught, and Mikey didn't fail to notice that.

"Come on, I'll take you home." Mikey says but [name] just shakes her head.

"No, I don't want to go there right now..." She wraps her hands around herself to provide some sort of warmth.

"Then where do you wanna go?" Mikey asks; taking off his jacket and wrapping it around her figure.

Such gestures, it all felt so natural.

"You place...?" [name] asks hesitantly. Mikey sighs in disapproval.

"[name]..." Although he couldn't imagine leaving her so he agreed silently.

He took her to the Sano Residence on his CB250T. She was impressed to see how well he managed to maintain the bike even after so many years.

"I see you still live here." [name] smiles softly.

"This place has too many memories, I couldn't leave." Mikey smiles back.

"Is Grandpa in? I figure he's sleeping right now?" [name] asks.

"[name], he passed away years ago..." Mikey replies, his voice wavering. She looked at him in shock as this was the first she ever heard of it.

"What? When?!"

"A year after you left..."

"So, you've been living here all by yourself...?" She questions with a small frown.

"Pretty much." He replies and starts to guide her into the house.

It wasn't fair. He had been through so much, he had lost so many people.

His Mother, Father, Shinichiro, Baji, Draken, Emma, Izana, and His Grandfather.

And [name] left him as well...

"Why the long face?" Mikey brings his index fingers to the side of her lips and slightly pulls them up into a smile.

[name] giggles like every other time he did this gesture when they were young.

"Nothing..."

"Come on, tell me." he insists.

"I just- I'm not saying this is an insensitive way but, I feel like this house holds so many sad memories. I couldn't imagine being strong enough to put up with everything...does that make sense?" [name] rambles on.

"It's true, this place has seen such sad moments but at the end of the day, this house is a part of me. I couldn't imagine leaving this place. Hopefully, I'll find someone to make new memories here with..." Mikey trails off.

"O-oh...do you have someone in mind already?" [name] tries to keep her voice strong but a stutter manages to slip in.

"Honestly, I always thought of it being you..." he says with a sad smile.

"Do you still love me, Manjiro?" She brings up the courage to ask the question.

"Yeah...I do."

"Then why did you pull away?!"

"Because you don't love me back, [name]! You know what?! I am so sick of this! Even when we were broken up 10 years ago, every time you found yourself frustrated with Senju, you came to me. Ever since then you always kept me as your second option, and I hate that!" Mikey snaps at her.

[name] goes to defend herself but gets interrupted.

"Don't think I'm stupid [name]! I know exactly why you were drunk and crying just now, it's because you found out about Senju and Yuzuha didn't you? I was just trying to be a decent person and comfort you but then you went and kissed me, trying to distract yourself like you always do!

You did that before you left too! And I was so blinded by what I felt for you that I agreed with everything you did, not even considering the fact you were just using me as a goddamn stress reliever! Can't you see that what you did hurt me as well!"

Mikey's eyes filled with regret, he hadn't meant to snap at her but he had a limit as well.

"Manjiro I- I'm sorry that I made you feel that way...I didn't realize it I swear! At that time, running away always seemed to be the best option, but I never realized how many people I ended up hurting in the process..." [name] trailed off, her eyes welled up tears that she instantly blinked away.

After all, she had no right to cry.

"It's alright...I'm also at fault for leaving you like that." Mikey reasons.

"But you did that to protect me, to protect everyone. It's not the same. Fuck, I am the worst, aren't I?" [name] covers her face, tears burning her eyes.

"To be honest, yeah." Mikey's lips form a thin line. [name] scoffs at his reply but agrees cause it's the truth.

"But that's the past. Now that you're back, you can start over." [name] uncovers her face and gives Mikey a grateful smile. She appreciated his attempt to reassure her.

"Do you still sleep in your garage room?"

"No, I shifted to aneki's room, although it's still there. Here, the guest room is right here, you can stay here for the night." Mikey leads to the second-last room.

"Thanks..."

"No problem, you can take a shower if you'd like, although I don't think you need one. You smell quite nice." Mikey says before his lips seal shut.

[name] stares at him blankly trying to process what he said.

"Fuck, that was weird. I'm sorry, I just didn't think I'll ever see you again so my mind isn't working properly..." he explains trying to subdue his embarrassment. [name] stifles her giggles.

"It's alright, Manjiro. Good night." She smiles softly.

"Yeah, night. I'm just in the next room so shout if you need help."

[name] just nods and closes the door behind her.

It was around 2 AM when [name] found herself awake on the bed. Her mind was plagued by the thoughts of Senju.

Despite what her selfish heart asked for she knew Senju was just a star that she could never reach. A love that will never be hers.

She is distracted by the sound of glass clinking coming from elsewhere, so she gets out of bed and ventures out of the room.

Letting the sound of running water be her guide she traverses through the house and comes face to face with Mikey who had just finished rinsing a glass.

"Sorry, did that wake you?" Mikey gives her an apologetic look under the moonlight that seeps through the windows.

"Ah no, I was awake." Was all she said.

"Thirsty?"

"No...Manjiro?" [name] calls out to him.

"Hm?"

"Was it real for you...?" [name]'s voice comes out weak but her gaze does not falter.

"I don't understand." Mikey replies, confused by her question.

"Everything that happens between us. Was it real for you as it was for me?" [name] asks with a sad gaze, slowly coaxing him to answer.

"I think I made my feelings clear every single time, [name]." Mikey sighs, but then flinches at the sight in front of him.

[name]'s cheeks slowly got covered in tears as she finally succumbed to the events of today. Unable to stop herself she strides closer to Mikey and hugs him, words of gratitude falling from her lips.

"Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for loving me back then. For loving me now. Thank you."

Mikey holds her close while responding to her words with comforting pats on the back. Minutes go by and they remain the same. The flow of her tears were far from slowing down and so were her words of gratitude.

She very slowly pulls her head away from the side of his neck and moves her face close to his.

"Thank you." As the gratitude is whispered into the night, [name] connects her lips to her first love's.

This time Mikey does not withdraw, and only pushes closer, indulging in her taste.

Slowly, they guide their bodies to Mikey's room. Once the back of [name]'s legs hit the bed, she gently falls back before letting her back rest on the bed.

Her legs were spread apart for Mikey to move with ease as his lips continued their ministrations on her collarbone.

Pulling back to start undressing her, he halts to admire the love of his life.

Her lips were wet, small trails of moisture on her cheeks and neck glistened under the moonlight, the sight itself made him weak.

His hands work to get rid of her shorts so she's bare from the waist down spare for her underwear.

He doesn't remove the white dress shirt she adorned, instead, he unbuttons the first few buttons just enough to reveal the simple black bra that held her weight.

His right hand smoothly slid her bra up enough to expose her chest and the way he did so made it seem as though her breasts were trapped.

[name] lets a weak whimper escape her lips as Mikey's tongue slithered on the valley between her breasts.

His thumbs teased her nipples as his mouth trailed her collarbone. Slowly moving his mouth to one of her breasts he wrapped his lips around her nipple, using his tongue to add to the pleasure.

His tongue kept rolling around her nipple, saliva leaked from his mouth to the sides of her breast leaving prominent trails.

He couldn't get enough, feeling how her nipple slowly but surely turned hard. He continues to do the same to her other breast before placing his hands around her waist to flip her over.

[name] balanced herself on her hands and knees, letting out faux moans as Mikey's thumb rubbed her clit through the fabric.

Slowly pulling her underwear down yet not completely off, his fingers brush through her folds smoothly.

Mikey stares at her cunt with a blank stare. Somehow he wasn't surprised at the the lack of arousal.

His eyes grew pained yet a sad smile took over his lips.

He had yet again fallen prey to [name]'s false words.

Gathering some saliva on his tongue he slides it over her clit and her folds finally plunging into her waiting hole.

[name] lets out a loud hoarse moan, not trying to muffle her sounds like she usually does.

"Ahhh- There!"

[name] occasionally lets out words of affirmation as Mikey's tongue fucks her now-sopping cunt.

His teeth would sometimes nip at her clit painfully as a form of revenge yet [name] only found pleasure in it.

[name] continuously lets out moans unable to stop her approaching orgasm.

She couldn't deny that this was the best tongue to have touched her. The title would change every now and then while she was a student at uni.

Her best experience was during a foursome with fellow female students.

Her cunt clenches around Mikey's tongue at the thought, mind becoming hazy as she feels her clit throb.

She remembers how amazing it was. She was in the same position as she is now but her mouth was on an older's classmate's cunt, licking away at her folds.

She herself was getting her pussy kitten licked by two other classmates. One had her tongue constantly sucking on her clit to the point it was red and puffy.

The other would use her tongue to assault her insides, switching between her fingers as her tongue would kitten-lick her asshole despite [name]'s protests or she would engage in a sloppy kiss with the other girl, their tongues still coated in [name]'s arousal.

That was the last time she had a shaking orgasm, that was until tonight.

[name] had unconsciously started to push against Mikey's tongue, his wet muscle was long enough to somehow brush against her g-spot. His nose rested dangerously close to her other entrance, and she would moan every time it lightly touched her.

She pushes back harder as she slowly feels her orgasm fade, so she thinks of the only thing that could release all the tension.

[name] plants her face against the mattress and moans into it as she thinks of Senju in every position imaginable.

She did the same in all her years at uni as she would fuck anyone who remotely resembled Senju or sometimes Mikey.

She thought of how Senju's tongue would feel on her cunt. She imagined her cunt against hers, hands tied as [name] would ride her face.

Tears prick her eyes as the thoughts overwhelm her.

"SE—AGH AHH! THERE! PLEASE! PLEA- AHH! MIKEY!"

[name] squirts for the first time in 4 months. Her arousal coated her thighs, tainting the bedsheet below her.

Trying to ride out her high, she grinds her soaked cunt across his face in hopes of more stimulation, making sure to rub her clit on his nose and completely drench his face.

Mikey lets her move as she pleases, aiding her by softly licking up all her arousal.

As he finished, he places a small kiss on her clit before standing up to walk away.

Before he could get too far, [name] shifts to sit on her knees and stops him by holding his hand.

"Where are you going...?" [name] asks in a slight panic. Mikey only smiled down at her.

"Get some sleep, [name]." He replies trying to free his hand from her grasp.

"What...do you- why did you stop? What about you-?"

"This is enough [name]." Mikey loses smile.

"No, it's not- I need more! More than her- Mikey, please! Please..." [name] sobs guiding Mikey's hand between her thighs, coaxing two of his fingers to slide inside her.

Once they were settled in she moved her hips to mimic riding his fingers as she once did him, trying to lure him in. Her back was arched, pushing out her chest so they would move along with her hips. Her head tilted back to expose her neck, making it look so kissable.

Mikey was slightly caught off guard by her actions, never having seen her so desperate and submissive. He clenches his teeth in anger but keeps his mouth shut, only replying by driving his fingers deeper.

"Ahh! Just like that!"

[name]'s moans were music to his ears yet it made them bleed, knowing nothing was directed towards him.

"You're so fucking selfish."

Those were Mikey's last words before he rips his hand away from [name], completely distributing her orgasm.

"Manjiro what are you-?!" [name] exclaims but gets interrupted by the shutting of the door.

As a few minutes go by she hears rustling around the house she can see from the window how Mikey leaves the house looking fresh as if she hadn't just drenched his face.

He soon leaves on his bike, driving into the lonely night.

Tears now stained her face.

How could he just leave her? Who should she go to next? How else could she stop the throbbing between her legs that had yet to subside?

[name] falls back on her back, her head on the pillows.

She spreads her legs and immediately plunges two of her fingers into her weeping cunt. As she did so she was brought some relief, but her clit still pulsated against her palm.

She sits up slightly, her right hand still in her cunt and she leans against the head of the bed using her left hand to support herself.

Her left hand then moved to her breasts which were still trapped between her bra and her shirt. Her fingers stimulate her nipple as she continued to finger fuck herself, her mind filled with images of an engaged woman.

She imagined fucking Senju in her favorite position.

When she was at uni and became intimate with anyone who was similarly submissive to Senju she would fuck them in this position, hoping to do the same to her love one day.

Her room had a thin and long mirror on the side of her bed and there was enough distance between them to fit two people.

So as she would get eaten out by her partner for the night, she would make sure the girl would have her bare cunt pressed against the mirror.

She wouldn't stop the girl's actions until she was sure that the part of the mirror and everything below was covered in her arousal.

When it was, she would shift the both of them so that [name] was sitting on her knees and the girl was lying flat on the floor, her legs over [name]'s shoulder would rest on her bed and the girl would have a complete view of her arousal and her dripping cunt as it got fucked by [name].

[name] would then tease the girl with her tongue all night and she forced her to lick up her own arousal on the mirror.

The girls who had experienced this would cry and cry, the filthy actions would embarrass them but they would only grow closer to their release.

Sadly for them, even during these intimate moments, [name]'s mind would only replace them with a certain pink-haired girl.

[name] felt herself growing close to her orgasm when thinking of Senju in the same position.

But suddenly her mind replaces herself with the image and Yuzuha and it breaks [name]. Shaking her head in defiance she continues her actions nonetheless.

Her fingers started to numb and her arm started to hurt, but she didn't stop until she had released all over her fingers.

Letting her breathing slow down she brings up her hand close to her face to look at her arousal.

After she cooled down she let her forearm rest over her eyes, letting her tears flow.

Mikey hadn't felt such disappointed in years. As ashamed as he was to admit it, he was disappointed in [name] more so than he was in himself.

He had noticed how she had called him 'Mikey' as opposed to 'Manjiro' like she usually does.

It's something that she had started doing somewhere in between his Kantou Manji days. It had started when Senju had officially entered the picture.

Without even realizing it, he had played right into her hands. She would lure him with her sweet 'Manjiro's and her lips would only spill 'Mikey's as she would fuck him.

It was already too late when he came to the realization.

Everything was different when she loved him, and only him. It was sweet. And a part of him believes it all went to shit when he left, yet he atoned for his actions.

He was truly happy when [name] found love but when years later he heard of Senju and Yuzuha a part of him felt guilty, even though he hadn't done anything wrong.

Everyone else who was aware of [name] and Senju was also a bit distraught, but they were happy for Senju and Yuzuha nonetheless.

Mikey himself was happy for Senju for finding her happiness and hoped that [name] would be too but, by last night's events it was pretty clear how she had taken the news.

Because if she was happy, she wouldn't have kissed him. It had become second nature for her, if Senju does something wrong, go to Mikey. It had been drilled into her bones.

Mikey walks into his house at around 9 AM. He looked to see if [name] was still here and sure enough, her shoes were right there.

He goes to check his room and finds [name] fast asleep on his bed. Her back was on the mattress, her head leaned up due to it resting on multiple pillows. Her hands were on each side of her head, and her legs were slightly pressed together and folded up.

When he saw her face, he noticed how her lips were parted with small gasps escaping them, her face contorting as if there was some sort of tension building.

"Senju...Senju...~"

Hearing this Mikey's eyes unconsciously drift to [name]'s slightly exposed cunt, there was a prominent trail of her arousal leaking from her hole.

Against his better judgment, he finds himself yet again at the mercy of [name], hands on her knees to spread them apart.

He uses his finger to see how wet she is and is utterly surprised to see her completely soaked as he spreads her folds.

[name] lets out a pitiful whimper at his action.

Without another second being wasted, he sticks out his tongue and licks up from her asshole to her hole, gathering all of her arousal and pushing it back inside her.

[name] moans but doesn't wake, her lips forming the phonetics of Senju's name.

Removing his tongue from inside her, Mikey just licks her all over her cunt, trying to build her orgasm.

[name]'s eyes open but her vision is blurry, she just feels extremely wet all over and can only make out how her thighs felt to be trembling.

When she leans up and looks down to see Mikey eating her out, her head falls back and her cunt pushes forward on his tongue. Noticing her to be awake now Mikey goes back to driving his tongue inside her.

The loud squelching sounds slowly brought her out of her sleepy state, her hips starting to push against him making a few squirts spurt out of her cunt and onto Mikey's tongue.

"Ah~ Ah~ Mikey...what are you-?"

"Shhhhh..."

Feeling him speak against her clit just brings her orgasm closer. This all felt like a fever dream to her.

Mikey pulls away from making her whine but her mouth is agape when Mikey moves to her side and up to suck on her nipple, his fingers stimulating her soaking folds.

His tongue moved around her nipple along with his fingers and these actions were too blinding for her, falling into complete submission for the first time.

Two of his fingers suddenly plunge into her just as he softly bites her nipple, her head is thrown back as she moans out.

"Ahh! Senju!"

[name]'s eyes widened in horror, instantly looking at Mikey's face but his eyes remained closed, but she noticed how thin tears spilled from the corners of his eyes and fell onto her body, getting camouflaged within her sweat.

His mouth was still sucking on her mounds and the movement of his fingers hadn't faltered for a second.

In fact, his thrusting had sped up, hitting her g-spot repeatedly, she was sure her cunt would be puffed up due to the sheer force of his fingers.

"Mikey I—"

"Just finish, [name]."

And she does.

Her release coats his hand up to his wrists as his fingers reach knuckles deep in her cunt to coax out every drop.

This continued for a few minutes till their breathing was no longer erratic.

Mikey shifts once again to place himself between her legs to lick up all of her arousal, [name] remains silent ignoring how her cunt clenches around nothing as Mikey smoothes his tongue all over her folds licking her clean.

Once he is done, he places a kiss on her clit like he always does before getting out of the bed.

"Manjiro-"

"Take a bath. I have some clothes for you, freshen up." Mikey interrupts her before walking away from her for the second time.

"Where did you get my clothes from? Did you visit Waka-nii when you left?" [name] questions as she stands at the door wearing her shoes.

"Yes, I didn't think you had informed them so I knew they would be worried. I told them I found you drunk so you're sleeping at my house."

—————————

09:34 AM

"She's at your house?" Wakasa asks in a worried tone.

"Yes, I found her drunk and felt uncomfortable leaving her alone. I tried to bring her here but she kept fighting so I just brought her back to my house."

"Drunk?...*sigh* I see, thanks for informing me. You said you needed some clothes? Wait I'll get some for you." Wakasa replies massaging his head.

He returns a few minutes later, a paper bag in hand.

"I'm sorry about [name], Mikey. I wasn't too worried knowing she wouldn't do anything reckless, but just before you came here Takeomi called me and said that Senju and Yuzuha had gotten engaged last night."

Wakasa sighs out as Mikey's eyes widen in surprise as he thinks back to a few hours ago.

"This is enough [name]." Mikey loses smile.

"No, it's not- I need more! More than her- Mikey please! Please..." [name] sobs guiding Mikey's hand between her thighs, coaxing two of his fingers to slide inside her.

He thinks back to how desperate and broken her mind seemed to work, and suddenly everything made sense.

He realized she had probably met them right after the proposal. He felt pity for [name] yet it was still not an excuse for her behavior.

"She didn't do anything drastic right?" Wakasa asks Mikey to make sure [name] wasn't too disruptive.

"Don't worry Wakasa-san, she fell asleep as soon as she hit the bed." Mikey replies with an uncertain smile.

"I see...Please ask her to come home soon. Thanks for doing this Mikey." Wakasa pats him on the shoulder walking back into his house.

—————————

"You told him I was drunk?" [name] asked shocked by the revelation. Mikey gives her a nod.

"He's going to murder me... You- ...You didn't say anything else right?"

[name] averts her gaze as she questions him.

"No, I just said you fell asleep as soon as you got to the bed." He explains.

"But..." He continues making [name] look at him in a slight panic.

"I don't take your brother for an idiot."

That was all he said.

[name] nods at him before finally saying everything she had decided to say while taking a shower.

"Manjiro, I'm sorry. I truly am. I was sorry all those years ago, I was sorry last night, and I will continue to remain sorry for what I have done. I have no excuse for—"

"[name] you don't need to do this-" Mikey's words interrupt her but it only makes [name] lash out.

"No! I have to. You deserve an apology, okay?!" His lips seal shut and [name] takes it as a sign to continue.

"I was really sad when I found out that Senju and Yuzuha had gotten engaged. Over the years Senju had started growing distant towards me to the point that we had completely stopped talking.

A part of me knew that she slowly realized that it wasn't worth loving someone like me, she didn't need to stay with someone who tormented her at every turn.

I was so depressed by the silent rejection that I would sleep with anyone who slightly resembled her in looks, personality, submission, or anything that reminded me of her. I would project her onto my partners and I unconsciously did the same to you.

I would try to stop myself by telling myself that Senju and I just got too busy, friends drift apart but when they meet it's left they never left. I would tell myself that it would be the same with us. That Senju would love me again when she saw me, yet it didn't go as planned.

Manjiro, It wasn't a lie when I said I loved you. I love you! I really really love you! But when Senju came into the picture I started loving her even though I never forgot you. I...

Manjiro, I'll be better! I'll go to therapy, anything! Anything to better myself. Just give me a chance... I'll be better so you won't ever regret having loved me. I'll make myself better so you don't have to be ashamed of me. Just give me a chance..."

[name]'s heart felt light as soon as all the words spilled out of her, but immediately a brick was stacked on her heart once again and she dreaded his response.

She told herself that no matter his response, no matter what he said she would accept.

"Okay."

[name] looks at him in disbelief. Did he just agree?

"Okay?"

"Okay. I'll give you a chance. But only when you can accept the true relationship between Senju and Yuzuha. Can you do that?" Mikey asks her.

[name] nods trying to compose herself.

"Yes, I can do that!" [name] assures.

"Are you sure, [name]? Are you ready to accept the fact that Senju no longer loves you? Are you ready to accept the fact that as we speak Senju is probably getting filled and fucked by someone who will never be you?"

By the end of the sentence, Mikey had pulled [name] close to him by her shoulders, making sure that her eyes stared back at his.

He knew his words were brutally honest, the last part might have been unnecessary but he could no longer ignore just how hurt he was by her.

[name]'s heart ached at his words but she kept staring back, not moving her gaze for even a second.

"Yes. For you, I will accept it." Was [name]'s response. Hearing this Mikey lets go of [name] and steps back. A few seconds go by as neither of them says anything, yet they don't break their stare.

"Very well. I will wait for you." Mikey finally lets out a smile, his heart grows heavy when [name] smiles back and bows as a thank you.

He watches as she turns around and leaves the house, closing the door behind her.

He already knew how fate works, and what it will do to him since god was never on his side.

He always wondered if he was being watched by the devil, and he wondered if he would keep looking upon him till he had taken everyone from his life.

[name] too wondered if she had a devil in her.

Being loved by [name] was truly a beautiful thing. But it would become dangerous if it isn't reciprocated. She would never directly hurt anyone, but everyone around her would end up in the crossfire and would get used by her to ease her.

Then she would think of ways revenge, payback in ways that would have her love come crawling back.

Even now, as she makes her way home the devil persuades her to forget about Mikey. He tells [name] to go find Senju and make her forget all about her fiance.

He coaxes [name] to find her and fuck her into oblivion. Make sure that [name] will always be the best tongue to fuck her, the best fingers to stuff her full, the best pussy she'll ever taste, the best sex she'll ever experience. The most loved she'll ever feel.

This was tempting for [name], but for now, she'll ignore the devil and only listen to Mikey. She will make him take the place of an angel or rather...

Make him a devil to kill her own.

194 notes · View notes

nikxlaii · 9 months

Text

➽ 𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐌𝐏𝐒𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐇𝐄𝐑 (𝐈𝐈)

☁ Pairing: Dazai Osamu x gn!reader

☁ Category: Angst

☁ Synopsis: Every time he holds you closer, he can’t help but think of his previous love. You left the agency in order to move on and recover, leaving Dazai in pain.

☁ Note: A continuation of Part 1 of Glimpse of Her. Originally, I didn't plan on making a second part for this since I'm out of ideas, but some of you insisted, so here you go. This story sounds so much better in my head. ;// 08/16/2023

Part 1

Since then, a week has gone by without your presence at the agency. Others started to worry and tried contacting you. They knew what had happened and were utterly disappointed with Dazai. Of course, he received tons of smacking from Kunikida for being such an idiot.

Dazai sat at his desk, staring into the distance. He absentmindedly fiddled with the slack bandage covering his arm, almost ripping it out. Normally, he would replace them with new ones, but does that really matter right now? He couldn’t think of anything other than you circling his mind.

It was unusual, to say the least, for the Agency to be so quiet.

He signed softly and leaned his head on his desk. The pain, guilt, and regret have been weighing heavily on his mind. He despised himself for how he exploited you for his own pleasure; how he only loved you because you reminded him so much of her, yet despite everything he had done to you, you continued to love him dearly, and that made him feel extremely guilty.

What good would it do, he thought, to apologize when he knew it wouldn't repair the pain he had caused?

Honestly, even if he knows he's done something wrong, he's not the type to apologize, but to you? He's unbelievably tender, almost making Kunikida choke and die with the change of Dazai’s personality around you.

He thought about what might possibly happen if you hadn't accepted his feelings in the first place. Will you both be content with your lives as friends or just happy as companions?

He doesn’t know the answer to that.

He sighed and stood up, proceeding towards the exit. This is something he always does to clear his mind. He'll go somewhere where he can be alone and think without being interrupted by people.

He twisted the doorknob, ignoring Kunikida's exasperated yells. He proceeded through the corridors and down the stairs, ignoring everyone in the agency. He just wants to get out and be by himself right now. Most eager to find you. Yes, he's worried.

As he was ready to leave the building, he was stopped by Ranpo's plaintive voice from the President's room.

“EHH? WHAT? You’re leaving?! (Name), don’t leave me!” was all Dazai heard as he walked back almost immediately and stood in front of the president's office. He grasped the doorknob, hesitant to enter. Dazai knew you didn't want to see him, but it's been a week, so this would be an opportunity to talk to you.

He broke out in a cold sweat as the thought of you leaving passed through his head. This felt like a kick to the gut for Dazai. He doesn’t want you to leave. He’s already lost the people he cared for, and now you? His grip tightened, and a familiar feeling rose up in his chest. He knew he was the reason, yet he ashamedly admits he doesn’t want you to leave. Even if you don’t talk to him, seeing your presence safe in the agency is already enough for him.

But what did he expect? This is clearly the consequence of his foolish actions.

He stood there for a moment, debating whether he should go in or just wait for you to come out. He gritted his teeth as his breath became shallow. His heart was hammering against his ribs. Despite being able to control his heart rate, he couldn’t stop it. Dazai wasn’t familiar with the sensation, as it was the first time he had felt this way, and it left him feeling overwhelmed and out of character, almost making him cringe.

He snapped back to reality when he heard a familiar voice behind the door. "Don't worry, Ranpo-san, I'll still come by and bring you sweets," you muttered as you opened the door, unaware of the person behind it. You collided with something, or more specifically, someone's chest. You looked up to see who it was, making you suck in a breath. You took a step back and instantly adjusted your stance. You silently closed the door behind you while staring at the individual in awkward silence.

Why now?

You thought as you pursed your lips. You were helpless and simply stood there, staring at the man who had broken you. Thoughts of ignoring him and leaving as if you didn't know him crossed your mind, but something inside of you keeps you from doing so. Possibly anxious?

Breathing nervously, you were taken aback by his sudden embrace, causing you to halt in place and your eyes to widen. Dazai didn’t know what pushed him to do that, but he didn’t care; he just felt the need to hold you in his arms.

"(Name), you’re safe. I’ve missed you so much, my bella-"

"-please get off of me." You spoke as you firmly pushed him away. You could have sworn you saw the anguished expression he made, but you were too perplexed to even care about that. Right now, you just want to be eaten by the ground and be alone. Just seeing him makes your heart tighten.

"(Name), belladona, can we talk this out? Please talk to me," He said in a pleading tone, taking a step closer to you, but you were too hurt to even want to hear of any of his pathetic reasons. You didn't want to take a chance of getting hurt again, especially when he made it clear that he took advantage of your feelings.

Sweat began to gather on your forehead as you fought back tears that threatened to form in your eyes. You were at a loss for what to do in this uncomfortable situation. You didn't want to cry in his presence. You just want to be away from him and be alone.

When he didn't hear you respond, his heart tightened, a clear indication to him that you didn't want to talk to him. Normally he would pester the person and force them to speak to him, but this time was different. He knew you didn’t want to, so he had no choice but to let you go.

You muttered a low ‘excuse me’ as you walked past Dazai, leaving a pit inside of his stomach. You surpassed the impulse to cry as you exited the building. It's probably the last time you'll ever set foot on it. As much as Dazai wanted to hold your wrist to stop you, he just can’t bring himself to do it. But if he can, he will, even if it means screaming at him, just for you to stay.

His heart sank when you disappeared from his sight. The person he loved was leaving him again, and there was nothing he could do to stop it. Even if he wanted to, he just couldn’t. In that moment, everything seemed to slow down as he watched the person who had made him feel understood disappear from his life forever.

Ranpo knew it was coming as he walked out of the President's office, peering at the man's amber eyes with his emerald ones in disappointment.

"Honestly, did you love them? Or was it simply the way they treated and loved you that made you love them?" Ranpo inquired solemnly, already knowing the answer to his question. Despite Ranpo's childish demeanor, he becomes serious in circumstances like this if you’re involved. You were like a sister to Ranpo, and watching you leave the agency sent thousands of knives through his chest. He couldn't help but blame the brunette for your departure.

Dazai turned his gaze to where you had left. He did love you. He loves you with all his heart. But there were times that he'd see you as her, and he couldn’t help but miss her solace. But of course, that is no excuse for him to make you stay.

He didn’t immediately respond, but after a moment of silence, he replied, “With all my heart.”

“How can you say that? You broke their heart.”

He sighed deeply and said, “I know, and for that, I'm forever sorry. But I want you to know that I never meant to hurt them. I loved them more than anything in the world. I still do.”

‘Never meant? that’s bullshit.’ Ranpo thought to himself. Although Ranpo isn’t the type of person to curse, what Dazai said made him look at him in disbelief.

After a long pause, Dazai continued, “I know how much pain I caused them, and I don’t expect them to forgive me. But I want them to know that they’ll always have a place in my heart.”

If he hadn't messed up in the first place, surely your relationship would not have ended up this way.

But his actions were a choice, not a mistake, right?

Right.

Before turning around, Ranpo took a final look at the brunette and then closed his eyes.

“The hardest part of love isn’t falling in or out of it. It’s learning how to pick yourself up and move on.” and with that, Ranpo left the brunette dumbfounded.

As he stood there dumbfounded, a sudden realization slowly began to dawn on Dazai. He was coming to understand something he had never quite fully realized before. He blinked a few times as he breathed out a breath he was holding before starting to move again.

Maybe… Just maybe one day he'll find a glimpse of us.

Part 1

Bonus part: It's been 6 years since you last visited the agency, and you're now blissfully engaged to someone amazing. You haven't seen or heard from your former colleagues in a long time, so inviting them to your wedding would be a fantastic idea.

And what about Dazai? He hasn't changed since you left. Consider his distress when he receives your wedding invitation. To be honest, he deserves it. That was something he did to himself. But part of him is relieved that you've found happiness.

He was hesitant to attend your wedding, but Ranpo persuaded him to do so. (Lmao He wanted him to feel your anguish 6 years ago.)

#angst #dazai osamu #dazai osamu x reader #dazai osamu x reader angst #dazai #dazai x reader #dazai x reader angst #fanfiction #bungou stray dogs x reader angst #bungou stray dogs x reader #bsd x reader angst #bsd x reader #angst no comfort #dazai x reader angst no comfort #bsd

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xcrust · 6 months

Text

Not very punk?

A little drabble I wrote while procrastinating doing work for school. Its not super detailed and I accidentally made Sal a little more stoic than intended.

Gender neutral reader X Sal Fisher

---

The first time that you met Sal was definitely not the greatest look for you. In fact to this day you sometimes get small bursts of cringe attacks thinking about it. Of course you believed that you can only make a moment embarrassing if you make it. But considering how much you hold him so dear to your heart today. Maybe meeting him and remembering all that embarrassment shows how impactful it was to have met him.

—

"You know for a guy that has blue hair, you're not really that punk"

Every few days you head towards the Addison apartment to visit the resident stoner of the small town of nockfell. You like to claim that you were not someone that frequently gets high. though wouldn't that be a little bit of a fib to the guy that's standing a few feet away.

"Im Sal, my dad and I actually just moved upstairs."

Another person that is going to be a subject to the freakshow of this building. Don't get that thought wrong though, you lived down the road with your parents. Like everywhere else on the planet there are always characters of people you see everyday but something about this complex just has such loud personalities whether it's intended or not. You would've been living amongst the apartment if it weren't for their parents having extremely weird auras of the place. Though it would be hypocritical to trash on it since you're spending half your time there.

“Man, that's a really cool mask! Ignore them. They're actually crazy” Larry got up from his bed to head towards the new guy.

“Larry literally shut your face before I kick you. I can also bet that the mask is a prosthetic.” So actually you are the only one that is high right now. Usually it's you both that get high all the time but as of the past few days Larry has been so freaked out that getting high would just bring one that's super freaked out. So here you were, in a ball.

“They’re actually right about that one” sal speaks out adjusting the straps around his head. For a little guy he does have quite a deep voice.

“See that is really badass!” If anyone saw you or to be more specific if any of your parents saw you then it would be so embarrassing and maybe the usual nerve being around a new person has been washed away.

“They seem cool…you know that's a lot of big talk for someone that can barely keep their head up” the new guy speaks again. Mainly pointed to Larry because the target of that comment was already out like a light.

“Trust they're honestly very chill. I just don't think that they're even on the same planet as us” the host of the room started while heading towards his speakers. “What's your place in music? Let me show this band that i'm loving right now”

“You sure that they won't wake up?” Sal asked while approaching the speakers as well. He had no idea but seeing the small bursts of spunk that you maintained while conscious was very alluring. That's not even mentioning the way that they knew what the prosthetic was.

“I have no idea but their loss, with my mom gone it's my rules in my room”

—

"Oh my gosh sally stop bringing that up" You're covering your face. It's in the middle of the day at school. Actually you and Sal were in the middle of bio class. Having been checked out of the lesson for such a long time now. "i promise i've never been that high before in my life and never will be again"

The thing about the first time you met him you were beyond greened out. Actually when you thought he left to search for whatever it was at the time you ran to the bathroom to throw up. Spoiler alert! He was still in the room.

"Im sorry im just trying to make punkness be stronger" He responds holding his heart. The sass of this kid is going to put you in a coma.

In all honesty you didn't know how you got so close to the over dramatic boy in front of you. Larry and Sal got closer before you both started hanging out one on one. Half of the first few months of meeting him the only times that you both interacted was in Larry’s basement. It's not like you avoided him but it's not like you didnt after embarrassing yourself so badly.

“You two in the back! Stop talking and pay attention”

“Sally, count your days because the minute we are out of this classroom I'm putting you six feet under” You giggled out trying to be quiet. The teacher really only made it all more funny. Beside you sal was holding his mouth scrunched over in the textbook. You reflected looking at him, being in his presence really boosted all good emotions. The connection that you both got from each other has been such a 180 change. Not saying life was terrible before him but a large spark was given to you being together.

“Ok (Y/N) five second head start and you're dead”

You leaned back with the biggest smirk on your face. A minute from the bell and you're already stuffing all your things into your bag. Counting yourself lucky that the door is right beside you in the back of the class.

*RiNG * *RING* *RING*

Before the second ring you're already halfway down the hall. Literally no agility was in your body unless it meant that you can beat any of your closest friends. Take the time you were hanging out with Ash. Putting a bet on whoever got to your house first would mean that the one that got there gets to ride your new motorcycle. The school isn't far and you did win but you could have been mistaken for an asthmatic by the time you got to your house.

Running into Larry by the lockers you hid around him to make the escape.

“Who are you getting away from no-” a flash of blue hair came zooming towards you both. If it weren't for the tall resident of the addison basement you wouldn't have gotten away. Pushing Larry to Sal before making it to the courtyards. You'd have to apologize to him when you win. For now it's all for one out here.

The courtyard was very quiet. It being lunch didn't change the fact that no one was coming here. Though you wouldn't expect that much of a difference with the teachers lounge nearby. Luckily since no one comes here maybe it was time to text him your success. Pulling out your phone to say he didn't catch you within the first few minutes of the bell.

A second later you're being put into a chokehold.

“I win”

Sally stands behind you still interlocked. Damn that was kinda- No. Nope that's so wack. Crazy thoughts are reserved for crazy people. Inseconds though you lose your balance and completely fall on the ground. Him landing on top of you

“Woah sal take me on a date first” you said groaning in a choked out laugh. Eyes still not opened from the impact.

“Wait! Don't open your eyes just yet” he sounded panicked so you followed going back to being relaxed laying down. The sound of buckles and straps being pulled explained the panic. It's been almost a two years since he moved in and to this day it has still been a touchier topic. It's no rush at all to see him though. Sometimes you long for moments to look at his face for long periods of time. Of course at sleepover you would maybe get a small glimpse in the middle of the night but light or lack thereof were basically the cockblock of the century. That being said, if he's not ready then no way in hell would you ask.

“Sorry, I'm good now,” he spoke out. You opened your eyes to see he moved himself a few feet away.

“Sal, you have no reason to apologize! did you do anything wrong? i dont think so” you reaffirm

He sighs but looks at you with the same look that only you've been bestowed. Both teenagers sit in silence for a bit. You had shifted to sit closer to him to look up at the sky.

“You know I care about you a lot… you've made this place so much more fun. Feel free to always feel comfortable around me and i'll bother you the same amount.” Talking to Sally like this comes from pure truth. You love him a lot. It could just be platonic or you're just telling yourself that.

Getting up you grab his hand and start pulling him to the cafeteria. instead of letting go he interlocked your hands a bit tighter than the average person. Though it gave you a bit of happiness. He might not be the best with words sometimes but you appreciated that hand squeeze.

“Come on! We need to make sure Todd isn't boring everyone to death.”

After yet another ghost hunting sesions around the town it was pretty fair to say that the group was entirely pooped. So this brings us to the garage band party? More like a treehouse makeshift acoustic party. The tree was way too far from any extension cord to work so now we work with what we got. It is crazy to think that you've all been fending and mystery solving for nearly four years. In that time it was almost a joke to be called the mystery gang with a bit more emo flavor. During those four years, the relationship between you and Sal seemed to only grow more tense by the second. That's not in a bad way though.

“Hey , Sal and I are going to be getting some munch!” Larry says half way down the tree already.

“YOOO WAIT, get some barbeque chips! You literally have to or else you're making the children starve!” Ash exclaimed, putting away the guitar.

Sal starts getting up from right beside you. The treehouse was not huge so most of us were sharing seats. You both were rocking in the bean bag. Somehow you both made it work even if it was definitely made for toddlers only. The position that was there was incredibly comfortable until Larry was continuously shouting from the ground.

“I'll see you in a bit” sal says before pushing your head slightly. Looking over to him while he walked out practically put you in a trance.

Glancing over to Todd and Ash at the other corner of the room you can see them practically frothing at the mouth. The second Sal got out of sight they both pounced onto you.

“Y/n, you're actually killing us over here” todd reclaimed. “Its been the longest fucking four years of my life watching you both eye fuck eachother.”

Wow, that is the most out of character thing that you've heard him say ever in your life. But like it was such a call out on your name.

“Dude that is so out of pocket” you're grinning while speaking out. “You need to stop hanging around Larry he's ruining your good guy persona”

“Stop it! You're trying to deflect that conversation! You and Sally are actually making us all lose our minds! When are you guys going to get together? ” Ash says. Looking at this intervention with Ash and Todd was almost comical to look at. Both of them really are not fighting the girl and gay best friend stereotype.

“In my defense, I'd like to know if you ever cornered Sal like you are with me!” In front of them you look like you're taking this as a joke but on the inside you've been shitting yourself trying to think of a way out of this. In actuality you've had such a massive crush on him for so long.

“Unlike popular belief we have eyes, so of course we've cornered him.” Todd rebutted.

“Well damn, Uhh im not sure if there is anything that I can say… say what did he say about me?” In response to that, Todd and Ash really deadpanned so hard it almost stabbed you.

“Depending on the information you tell us then we can decide what we can tell you” He continued.

“You guys suck– so maybe I like him an extremely small itty bitty bit but that really doesn't matter if he doesn't like me back” If they both couldn't deadpan anymore somehow they managed to do it in this instance.

Just a moment goes by and you hear shuffling at the bottom of the tree. A hushed voice started exclaiming.

“Sal! You just stepped on my foot you whore”

So this was a set up? You had no idea that Your friends were suicidal. Turning around you see the romance twins looking really nervous. In a flash all hell broke loose.

“Move! LARRY get out OF THE WAY!” Ash yelled while sprinting to the door of the treehouse.

Cut to you with a bag of ice on your ankle. Sitting in your room with Sally holding your ankle to make sure nothing falls off. Long story short while you were trying to hunt the three devils, you fell down a few of the steps in the ladder.

“So I heard you like me and itty bitty bit? Didn't know you were talking like a 5 year old now” Sal says.

“Oh come off it, maybe that toddler bean bag gave me a lobotomy while you were out” The feeling of it all being so tense. “But what if I do like you?” it's been so long that it really scared you that there was a chance that you could lose him.

“Then I would tell you to not stop. Maybe… for the past few years I really like you more than a bit”

“You know for a guy with blue hair, You’re really hot and maybe a little badass and maybe a little bit punk”

#sallyface x reader #ashley campbell #larry johnson #sally face #sal fisher #sally fisher #sally face todd #todd morrison #sal fisher x reader #sally face headcanons #sally face hcs #sal x reader

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cumulo-stratus · 6 months

Text

Protector

Pairing: spencer reid x male!reader

Summary: after an unsub tries to hurt y/n, spencer steps in.

Warnings: cannon typical violence, talk of not being able to breath, Lemme know if theres anything else!

flufftober day 17: protective

A/N: were gonna ignore the fact that im skipping day 16 (im a touch avoid et autistic and the idea of a massage makes me so uncomfortable and i just couldnt write guys im sorry 😭) also ik i kinda ghosted yall on fics for like a couple weeks buuttttt (haha butt) i just got super busy with school, but its started to calm down again, i got all the presentations and tests out of the way so ill have more time to write after school. thx for being understanding <3!

Y/n fit the unsubs victims almost to a T- and y/n knew that. He knew that with no other options at this point, he would have to go undercover to bait her. And Spencer knew this- but it didn't mean he was happy about it. Y/n knew Spencer had abandonment issues- and tried his best to comfort Spencer, reminding him that both, and the rest of the team would be waiting close by incase anything happens.

"Spence- I'll be okay, I'll have Morgan, Rossi, and prentiss in there with me- and I'm sure we can convince Hotch to let you go undercover in the bar so you can be nearby."

"Good- I need to be there incase something happens."

Y/n sighed and looked at Spencer- his eyes full of care for his boyfriend, nad gave him one last reassuring kiss before leaving spencer on his own for. a minute and rejoining the team to go over the plan one more time, just to be safe. And to ease spencers mind.

y/n was sat in front of the bar in the extremely crowded pub, wearing fancy clothes, giving the appearance of wealth. The woman they were trying to catch believed that men didn’t deserve money, and she was punishing them for having it by torturing and killing them. Y/n was hoping they would be able to arrest her before she gets to the torturing part of her routine. He zoned back into the present when he heard someone approach him. She was dressed in a skin tight red dress that hugged her curves, and had a flirty look on her face.

"So- what's a man like you doing at such a 'working class' place like this?"

Her sickeningly sweet tone made y/b want to vomit, but he hid it well, glancing over at Emily who was across the bar, keeping a close eye on the situation.

"Well, sometimes I don't mind getting my shoes a little dirty with the 'average person'"

Y/ns voice was flirty, causing him to internally cringe at his own words, hating that he sounded like a yuppie. But hid it and let the unsub continue trying to seduce him.

"Wel I'd be perfectly happy to help you rub a little mud on those jimmy choos if you like..."

Y/n almost grimaced, but held back. He threw a glance across the bar to spencer, hoping to reassure him that he was okay. And when they met eyes for a second, y/n could tell that spencer still wasn’t happy about him being there. Y/n did the best he could to reassure him with his eyes from the other end of the bar, before returning to the conversation with the unsub. She was now starting to get hands y with, and y/n knew she had decided he was going to be her next victim. Eventually she invited him to walk her to her car.

“after all, i’m a petite woman by myself at night…”

All y/n could think about was the major pick me girl energy radiating off her, but outwardly he just smirked and extended his arm for her to take.

“of course, i could never turn a lady like you down.”

And as the pair made their way to the front door, spencer was the first to lift himself from his seat, following discreetly as if he had received a phone, and needed to leave the bar. Almost immediately after the door swung closed she start feeling y/n up, and spencer could feel a green jealousy boiling in the back of his mind. And. he couldnt help himself from walking slightly closer so he could hear what she was saying to his boyfriend.

“you know- i dont know if its safe for me to drive, maybe you should drive me back to your place, and we could continue this…”

Y/n smirks, which makes spencer even more jealous, but hold holds back for the good of the case. As the pair approach the unsubs car, she pushes him against the car, kissing him- no, actually it was more like she was eating his face. Now it wasn’t only jealousy coursing through him, but also anger. Not anger like the bright red, passionate, kind, more like a dark maroon simmering in the pit of his stomach, ready to boil over kind. But a warning glance from Rossi and Morgan, who had now joined him in the parking lot while Prentiss updated Hotch, told him to back off. And he did, but he wasn’t sure how long he could hold himself back. Now y/n wasnt enjoying it either, but he just closed his eyes and sucked it up, practically counting the seconds till it would be appropriate to stop kissing having his face eaten, and get in the car. But y/n lost count of the where he was when he felt a hand grasp his neck. He knew later that this is how she had been subduing her victims, as they would already be out of breath from making out with her, and she would have the upper hand. But y/n couldn’t possibly process that. The only words that had been going through his mind as his entire life flashed in front of him were ‘Air. Need air.’

And thankfully his wishes were granted when the feeling of hands around his neck vanished, and over the sound of blood rushing in his ears he could hear shouts resembling “FBI Amy Brockett your under the arrest for the murders of James leason, Christian Lanery, and Gregory Poultan!”

But what grabbed his attention more was when a blurry face with the outline of a mop of brown, curly hair filled his vision- it was spencer. And he himself was now on the ground, coughing.

As soon as spencer had seen the woman’s hand wrap around y/n’s neck, he bolted across the semi large parking lot with his gun raised. When he arrived he pulled the unsub off y/n with more strength then he knew he had, and threw her onto the ground, looking her dead in the eyes and saying “You ever touch him again, i wont hesitate to shoot you” in a low, almost growl. But what stopped him from turning and tending to his boyfriend who was now crumpled on the pavement, coughing to regain his breath, was a scoff from the woman who was now being handcuffed and read her rights by Morgan. But spencer didn’t care enough about the unsub to send more than a dirty look her way before turning his attention to his boyfriend at the sound of another violent cough. Spencer knelt down, taking y/n’s face in his hand, while the other one dragged lazily up and down his back, coaching him through the coughing fit. And it was only then that spencer noticed the tears staining y/n’s cheeks.

“Oh angel its ok, im here, you’re ok.”

Y/n released a small hiccup, falling easily into spencers arms. Spencers eyes searched his boyfriends body for any other injuries other then the marks on his neck that were already becoming a maroon-ish purple hue. spencers eyebrows were creased in concern at the marks on his partners necks and when y/n noticed this he tried to reassure him.

“spence- baby im fine, i just needed to catch my breath..”

even though y/n’s breathing he evened out it was still sounding a little weezy as harshly tried to rub away the tears in his eyes. spencer caught y/n’s in his own, preventing the harsh red skin y/n was leaving behind from rubbing his skin so strongly.

“angel, come on lets go have a paramedic check you out..”

spencer helped y/n up, and only then did he notice how many police cars and ambulances had filled the parking lot with screaming sirens and blaring lights. The couples faces were basked in blue and red light as spencer lead y/n to a paramedic to get checked out. And as y/n sat there, the paramedic poking and prodding- spencer stayed planted next to him, hand in his.

The End

#spencer reid #criminal minds #bau #bau team #fluff #spencer reid x reader #gay #flufftober #spencer reid x male reader #spencer reid fluff #comfort #criminal minds fan fic #spencer reid imagine #flufftober 2023 #flufftober day 17 #flufftober prompt

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mrs-santoss · 1 year

Text

Teasing Queen - Neymar Imagine

Summary: Y/N decides to tease Neymar with a few pics from her camera roll during a very inappropriate time. ;)

Warning: mentions of sex. I ordered some lingerie sets the other day and they finally arrived. I was at home when the package arrived I was very excited to open it right away and try on everything I got. First, I tried on the blue lingerie and took a good pic of it, next, I tried on the red set I was very pleased with, even the photo came out very hot. Next up, was the dark blue set which turned out to be my favorite one, I felt very confident in it. Last but not least, I tried on the yellow set and took a photo wearing this one too. I was very satisfied with everything that I ordered. I planned on wearing my favorite on tonight for Ney and surprise him. He's isn't aware of this, that's why I'm not sharing the photos with him yet. As I was selecting the best photos on my phone, suddenly, I get a text message for Neymar.

"Bebê I just got done with training and I'm going to take a shower . I knew I would be late so I brought my outfit for Thiago's dinner with me. Is it okay if we both drive there separately? If I stop by to pick you up we will be suupppeer late. Love you lots, see ya there xx"

Oh, crap. I forgot about that AT ALL. Now, I became very pissed about ruining my plans. I know it's not Neymar's fault at all, however, I decided to not ruin my good mood and hopped in the shower to get ready for tonight. Before I did that, I responded to his text. "Sure thing, meu amor. I will text you once I get there."

After I did my hair and makeup, I decided to wear one of the lingerie sets under my dress. I wore my favorite dark blue ones. After going through my closet and cringing at everything I picked, I decided to wear a black tight dress that really hugged my curves. I get my purse, lock all the doors and get in the car.

I arrived at Thiago's dinner party before Neymar. I texted him, letting him know I'm here and he responded with "I will be there in 5 minutes amor".

I was engaging in conversations with different people at the party and suddenly I feel an arm around my waist from behind. I didn't bother to look at who it was, I just reached my hand to cup his cheek, I knew it was Neymar. Neymar's POV: I arrive at the party and I immediately spot my girlfriend at the kitchen counter talking to Thiago's friends. I go behind her and wrap and arm around her waist. She touches my face and I turn her around to kiss her. She was wearing my favorite dress of hers.

"Hi, there miss! I can see you're here alone. May I join you?" I ask her playfully with a smile.

"Hmm, yeah sure! My boyfriend was supposed to be here, but he isn't coming I guess." she responds, making a playful face.

"Is that soo?!" I raise an eyebrow and kiss her soft lips. She laughs. I love her laugh.

We make our way to the living room, where everyone is sitting there sipping wine and chatting. Y/N and I sit next to each other on the couch. After a couple minutes, Y/N offers help to the people in the kitchen and leaves.

After she does so, I get a text on my phone which I decide to ignore at first. The phone buzzes again. I get it out of my pocket to check it out. Wrong move! I should've done that somewhere in privacy. It was Y/N.

"Too bad you were late today, bebê. You missed the show :(" and sent this photo .

Oh my god. What is the doing to me? She looks extremely hot. I had a feeling I would regret being late today.

"Amoooor, what are u doing? Don't do this to me, pleaseee. You look super sexy" I respond to her text, hoping that was it. I mean, we just got here. I can't get worked up 3 hours BEFORE we get home.

"Ohh! Are you sure you don't want any more" she texts back and send this photo.

"YY/NNNN you'reee killing mee, amorrr. Everyone is looking at me confused. I text her back and I excuse myself to the balcony for a "phone call".

"Is that so?! Do you want to know what I'm wearing underneath this black dress? ;)" she texts back immediately and sends photo.

Oh my god. Fuck me! I get this rush of emotions to just storm in the kitchen and bend her over the kitchen island in front of everyone.

"Do you have any idea what I will do to you tonight?!" I text her back, maybe this will make her wait.

"Hmm, can you give me a hint?" she text back. Oh, she really is determined to make me go crazy.

"As soon as you step inside the house, I will rip that pretty little black dress of yours from your body and throw you on the bed on your knees, and fuck your brains out from behind as you moan my name" I text her back. I hoped to get her worked up, however, I did that to MYSELF just thinking about it.

"Uuuu, that sounds hot. Would you rather have me wear that lingerie or this one?" she texts back and send THIS photo.

That's it. I can't take it anymore. I get back to the living room with a "worried" look on my face. I tell Thiago that Y/N and I will unfortunately have to leave right now because of an emergency. Thiago doesn't ask any follow up questions, trying to be understandable. I didn't even feel about about lying, my mind that somewhere else completely. I go to the kitchen and tell Y/N we have to leave because of an emergency. She plays along and says goodbye to everyone. Thiago walks us to the door and hugs us goodbye. As soon as he shuts the door, I give Y/N a look filled with lust. She looks back and me and smiles. "I'll meet you at home, I guess" she says and makes her way to her car. "FUUCKKK! I forgot about it" I groan and make my way to my car quickly not wanting to waste any time. I completely forgot we came here separately. She arrives before me and parks her car in the driveway. I quickly do the same and catch up to her entering the house. I shut the door really fast and turn around to lift her up in my arms.

"You dirty little thing! You had fun with that, didn't you?" I ask her and I felt myself grow in my jeans. "Now, it's my turn to have my fun!" "No one's complaining about it!" she says back and bites my lip. I will do everything I told her I will, more for sure.

#neymar masterlist #neymar #neymar x reader #neymar imagines #neymar imagine #imagines #football imagine #football imagines #mbappe x reader #mbappe imagine #masterlist #football masterlist #neymar jr fanfiction #fanfiction #neymar jr x reader #neymar jr imagines #neymar jr imagine #neymar jr

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vyl3tpwny · 3 months

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You inspired me to get back into Bangarang era Skrillex without shame in my heart and to embrace the (harmless) cringe in my soul. As well as seek out other lesser known artists who keep up that sound. So, thanks!

real talk i have been making music for almost two decades now. when i first heard skrillex's music i instantly knew it was amazing. but i couldn't really express why. as i've gotten older, spent lots and lots of time making music and learning about music and researching, a lot of things i used to adore don't impress me like when i first heard them. but even all this time later, skrillex's music — past and present — is incredible and untouchable. i think a lot of casual listeners do not realize just how flawless, complex, and perfectly executed his sound design and ideas are across the board. the best thing you can do when listening to skrillex's music is just pick out ONE single sound and ask yourself "how did he create this sound? how do you go about creating this sound from scratch". the casual listener rarely considers a question like this, but when you ask this about nearly anything skrillex makes, even if you can fathom an answer it's still the most mindblowing thing in the world.

but sound design is not everything either. i got sucked into the soundcloud community around 2016 or so. to any of my soundcloud classmates, peers, and alumni, hey how are you doing <3 but the soundcloud scene of 2016-2019 was a VERY specific beast. a lot of the music that emerged during the scene's height was this idea that sound design is always more important than anything else. so you would have tons and tons and tons of songs that came out that had crazy sound design ... but not much else. this goes back to skrillex's music. skrillex's sound design isn't just complex, but it's also executed with amazing songwriting. it isn't just a tech fest, he's making amazing songs, perfectly accessible, with incredible sound design as the foundation rather than the only thing the music has to offer. for a while i think i had been so swept up by the soundcloud scene that i rlly ignored songwriting in favour of sound design, like i had to choose.

that is to say, skrillex's music has been and will always be a pinnacle of what "festival EDM" should be evaluated as in standard. i've already done my share of criticizing skrillex for how he butchered "dubstep", and i'm not going to ever pretend that such criticism does not exist. but regardless, EDM is an extremely saturated genre which has caused lots of people to hate or misunderstand it. i think if people focused more on making strong songs and not tunnelvisioning on one aspect of the music, EDM would be more compelling to more people, beyond just 'sounding good' or 'being a banger'.

scary monsters and nice sprites, the song, is a really good song. it has a pretty standard arrangement and flow, but moment to moment it's always interesting and full. the production is so ridiculously clean and dynamic but does not skimp out on making shit sound beefy and deep as well. but what a lot of people don't realize is that the sound design on that song is so incredible, that in a lot of music spaces, it's considered a holy grail to whoever fully reverse engineers the growls in scary monsters. for over 10 years now, there have been dedicated skype groups, discord servers, youtube streams, and forum threads on people literally dedicating portions of their music making lives to trying to understand JUST the scary monsters growls alone. what makes it so elusive is that it's likely done with the FM8 synth and trying to reverse engineer more than 2-3 operators on an FM synth is literally a death sentence. skrillex himself probably couldn't remake it from scratch, only create something similar doing the moves he would do in FM8. but the scary monsters growls are literally a holy grail and people are STILL working in small community pockets to figure out how it was done, 14 years after the album came out.

#vyop

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ifancyharry · 1 year

Text

Shitty friend groups

Hello loversss (as Niall Horan would say 😋) happy Christmas!! I'm sorry i went MIA, i was feeling a little down but i'm back now :) just wanted to say thank you to everyone that likes and reblogs what i write, you really do make a difference and motivate me, so thank you! as always, let me know what you think, my ask is always open to talk

Word count: 5K

What is it: Harry gets bullied by YN's friend group; angst; fluff; mentions of blood and anxiety

“Hello, Anne. Is… is Harry home? We were supposed to study together but he… he’s not answering his phone” YN sighed heavily once Anne opened the door, relieved to know someone from the Styles family was home; she knew at least Anne wouldn’t ignore her.

YN and Harry had been dating for a couple of months now, but coming from two different types of friend group, they preferred to keep their newly formed relationship to themselves, Anne being the only once to know since YN was always hanging out at Harry’s house.

Harry wasn’t so convinced they should tell her, but Anne was always extremely welcoming and kind towards YN, so she felt as if she owed it to her to at least be honest with their feelings.

When Harry had asked her to keep their relationship private, YN didn’t really understand. She thought he could be somehow ashamed she was his girlfriend, but he promised that wasn’t the case. At first, it was easy to keep it private. YN was what you could call popular in school, whereas Harry was more kept to himself with a selective group of friends, so they rarely crossed paths at school.

They would usually meet in the janitor’s closet to share a kiss or two, but they both’d agreed to keep PDA to a minimum, and despite their shared decision to keep the relationship to themselves, she couldn’t help but wonder why. YN couldn’t possibly know her friends despised Harry and told him every chance they got.

Harry was smart, he did well in school and wasn’t afraid to show it, he was passionate and opinionated, and YN’s friends thought he was awkward for that. Harry never really understood how YN could hang out with them, but he’d started to notice they were never rude when she was around, so he guessed she didn’t know their very true nature.

When Harry got picked to be YN’s tutor, he had dreaded meeting with her in the library, convinced she was as rotten as her friends, but the very first time he saw her, out of breath because she was running late, hair messy and her cheeks rosy from the cold, muttering apologies over apologies for making him wait, he knew she wasn’t anything like he had imagined. She was soft, kind, and intelligent. And pretty damn cute, may he add (although that he knew already).

YN really didn’t know what she did. One minute they were fine, talking on the phone about how much fun their date at the fair had been, and the next Harry stopped answering her texts and all she was left with was wondering what happened.

“Oh! Hi dear” Anne smiled sweetly at her, “Harry still hasn’t come home”.

YN frowned at that, starting to think maybe he’d persuaded his mum to lie for him and asked her to find a way to get rid of her. She cringed at the mere thought. Was whatever she did that bad? And Anne was usually so nice to her! She couldn’t bear to think about that.

“I need to leave for work but… but you can wait for him in his room?” Anne questioned once she saw how upset the girl in front of her looked, “I’m sure he’ll be home any minute.”

“I really don’t want to be a bother” YN bit back an awkward smile, her mouth twisting at the corners. She was relieved Anne wasn’t in on Harry’s plan to avoid her. At least she had his mum on her side. Despite not knowing what she did, she hated when Harry was mad at her. Well, mad… he never really did get mad. He just got upset and avoided her until she had to reach out and confront him. She always thought that was why their relationship was so great, she compensated wherever Harry lacked.

Understanding Harry’s fear of confrontation, she was the one who opened up first about her feelings for him, all twitchy hands and anxious mind, scared he didn’t feel the same and she had completely misread the signs.

She hadn’t, because Harry had been crushing over her since the first moment he started tutoring her, and after he’d told her, YN made him repeat it ever chance she got (“tell me what you thought the first time we met!” “i though you were unhinged” Harry always said, but after kissing the pout on her lips away he’d add “and very cute”), never missing his reddened cheeks every time he told her that.

“You could never be a bother, love! Come inside,” Anne moved a little sideways so she could make room for her to come in, “you know the way”, she said, gesturing to the staircase on the right.

YN nodded and thanked Anne as she made her way inside, toeing her shoes off and placing them neatly at the front door.

“I would offer you tea but I’m in a hurry!” Anne said, and YN watched her grab her coat from the hanger near the front door along with her phone and what YN guessed were her car keys.

“Oh, no need, I understand” YN smiled politely and at that Anne nodded, giving her a warm smile and closing the distance between them to encapsulate YN in a hurried hug.

“Bye, love, I’ll be back tomorrow morning after my shift.” She winked and YN blushed at the thought of being alone with Harry for a whole night, muttering a soft bye under her breath when Anne made her way out of the door.

YN, now alone in the Styles’ household, looked around herself, walking further in. She spotted their cat sleeping on the couch and she said hello to him too, deciding against petting him, she knew damn well that cat hated being woken up and she understood him completely.

She decided to wait for Harry in his room as she originally intended to, so she made her way up the stairs, stopping every once in a while to smile at the family pictures framed on the hallway walls.

Once she reached Harry’s door, she opened it and closed it silently, despite being alone, behind her back, taking a big breath once she was inside, his woodsy scent mixed with the fabric softener of his sheets lingering in the air around her, comforting her.

“I’ll just wait here,” she whispered to herself as she sat down on the edge of his bed, crossing one leg over the other, her hands intertwined in her lap.

She waited anxiously for Harry to come home as the minutes began to pass, and with the minutes the hours, and with the passing of the hours, her eyes started to get heavy and her breathing slowed, the book she had found on Harry’s nightstand (after she got bored of her phone), managed to keep her occupied only so much, boring her to the point of sleepiness (Harry and his pretentious books), and she curled on top of his covers, hugging herself to protect her body from the cold of his room (which wasn’t that cold, the cold she was feeling mostly due to her anxiety), slipping into a dreamless sleep as she waited for Harry to return.

YN awoke suddenly at the sound of a door slamming, and it took her a while to get her surroundings in, confused as to where she was.

After realizing she was in Harry’s room on his bed, she also remembered why she was in his room, and that quiet, confused state she’d woken up in subdued, leaving room to the dread of a conversation whom she couldn’t wait to have (and whom she knew Harry would avoid whatever it took).

She got up from his bed and made her way towards the wooden door, twisting the knob and opening the door hurriedly, eager to see him. Her ears where graced with a loud yelp coming out of Harry’s mouth, who apparently had made his way up the stairs and was in front of the door too, not knowing YN was on the other side.

“Bloody hell!” He shouted, his eyes widened with fear as he brought his hand’s palm against his chest, heart level “you scared me” he breathed out after he’d calmed down, surprised.

“What are you doing here?” He added, looking at her with his deep green eyes.

YN, however, couldn’t get the words out of her mouth as she took in the look of Harry’s face, scratched and bloody.

“What happened?” She whispered, furrowing her eyebrows as she raised her hand to point at his face. His cheekbone had a deep cut on it, the skin under it purple colored and turgid. His nose was cleaned now but YN could make out the faint stain of blood that seemed to have dripped down onto his cupid bow, turning his lips a bright red color. She lowered her gaze to his blue hoodie, and she frowned because she knew it wasn’t the one he was wearing on their date that morning.

“It’s nothing.” Harry brushed it off, making his way inside his room and heading towards the bathroom.

“It’s not nothing, Harry!” She snapped, following him inside the bathroom, “did someone do this to you? Is that why you were avoiding me?”

“No” he chuckled a humorless laugh out of his nose, “I did this to myself.”

“Don’t go all smartass on me, Harry,” she said, lowering her tone, “what happened?”

She watched as he opened the shower’s faucet to warm the water. He then proceeded to remove his hoodie, tugging it off his head and tossing it in the laundry basket.

“I need to shower now, can you get out?” He spat out, turning his head to glance at her, his eyes, lowered in tiny slits, had turned a dark green and his mouth was closed in a firm line.

YN had never seen him like that. It was the first time he asked her to get out while he showered, he loved hearing her talk while he showered, often asking her to repeat what they previously studied to see if she was really paying attention.

She muttered out a soft ‘okay’ and nodded, lowering her eyes on the floor and making her way out of the bathroom. She’d seen him naked plenty of times by now, but she was extremely respectful of his boundaries and if he didn’t want her there while he showered, she wouldn’t force him.

As she waited for him on her bed, she tapped her phone behind her to look at the time; it was a little past seven thirty, and she wondered whether she should text her mum to let her know she would spend the night at Harry’s. But she couldn’t help but wonder if Harry wanted her to stay the night or if he expected her to be gone when he returned from his shower.

She decided to tell her mum to not wait for her, hoping to make up with Harry by the time it was time for bed.

She didn’t know what was wrong with him, and she was worried he’d gotten himself in trouble. Harry was smart, but school was getting hard, and she’d seen that episode of Pretty Little Liars in which Spencer got addicted to amphetamines to keep up with school, and she couldn’t help but wonder if that was the case (maybe she needed to stop watching so much tv)

Maybe Harry needed some extra help to get through finals and things took a bad turn?

She possibly couldn’t know.

She jumped a little when she heard the bathroom door snap open, the sound interrupting her train of thoughts, and she raised her head to look at Harry, the vapor from the hot water carrying around the scent of his body wash, permeating the room.

He walked to his dresser only with a towel wrapped around his hips, and YN didn’t miss the big purple bruise on his left hip as he lowered to fish out a clean t-shirt and sweats out of the dresser.

“Can we talk?” She whispered, breaking the silence that lingered between them. She knew from the start the conversation wouldn’t have been an easy one, but she possibly couldn’t have known he would’ve turned up looking like that! All bruises and cuts!

Harry shrugged as he turned around, “nothing to talk about.”

“Nothing to… nothing to talk about!” She exclaimed, tossing her hands in the air in defeat.

“I just said that”

“Harry, you’re- you’re…” She chose to ignore his remark and sighed, “do you need to go to the hospital? Did you at least disinfect the wounds?”

“I’m fine, Niall helped me” he mumbled, tossing the towel to her, which she caught with two hands before it could land on her face.

“Harry!” She laughed, tossing it back at him. YN averted her gaze as he stood naked in front of her, not knowing if he wanted her to look.

He let the towel fall on the ground as he lowered the shirt he’d previously picked out on his head, then he slid on his grey sweats and let them hung low on his hips, not bothering to tie them.

“Are you hungry?” He said, closing the distance between them with two strides to get in front of her.

She nodded and rose her head to look up at him better, her lashes fluttered as she felt herself squirm under his dark gaze. Her heart clutched in her chest at the sight of his face. Did he really think she’d let it go that easily?

“C’mon, then,” he lowered his hand to take hers in his, giving it a squeeze between his fingers.

“Wait.” She breathed out, grabbing his wrist with her free hand. Harry furrowed his brows, scared that she might want to open the conversation once again, but YN throw him a sweet smile and his gaze softened, “what?”

“Can we kiss a bit? I missed you” she whined, tugging his wrist to signal him she wanted him to sit on the bed with her. Harry complied and plopped down on the bed next to her, circling her waist with his arm and bringing her down on top of him as he lowered himself down on the center of the bed.

YN placed her palms on his chest to balance herself, letting out a squeal when he pinched her bum jokingly.

Harry raised his head from the pillows to meet her lips, but when YN’s mouth got closer to his, he lowered once again, YN’s lips following his. She whined when he avoided her lips once again and took the matter in her own hands, pushing her lips against his mouth in a tender kiss.

She gave him small pecks at first, but after a while she sucked his bottom lip into her mouth and Harry sighed in her mouth; this gave her access to push her tongue inside to brush against his, and she caressed his tongue with hers, intertwining it. His mouth was warm and wet, and he tasted like the mint gum he’s always chewing, but YN swore she could make out the faint ferrous taste of blood on his lips.

YN loves kissing Harry. And YN thinks she must be drunk because she feels like she loves Harry, and not just kissing him. And she knows she’s supposed to talk to him. She knows she shouldn’t let it slide, and believe her, her heart shatters at the thought of someone hurting him. But he said everything was okay, and he said he didn’t want to talk. And YN loves him. And sometimes when you love someone you’re not ready to face the things that are hurting them.

When Harry started to feel himself get dizzy from the lack of air, he pulled away from her lips with a pop, not missing the whine that she let out, and when he opened his eyes, he laughed at the pout on her plushy lips.

“So greedy!” He exclaimed, swiping a thumb delicately to smooth the frown on her lips, and he couldn’t help the smile that twitched his mouth when YN puckered her lips and placed a gentle kiss against his finger.

“Look! There’s Styles”

YN turned her head hastily when she heard her friend Mia mentioning her boyfriend. Mia nodded towards Harry once she gained the attention of the others.

She furrowed her brows as she watched Harry walk towards his table, holding a water bottle between his fingers. She wondered if he had already eaten or if he wasn’t hungry.

YN’s lips twitched as she bit back the smile that was spreading across her lips. She had to cross her legs under the table to keep herself from just standing up and walk towards him, this private relationship thing was starting to get to her, and she didn’t know how much longer she could pretend she wasn’t in love with him.

His face still hadn’t completely healed and she frowned at that, but the bruise on his cheekbone was starting to fade and she thanked god the frozen peas she had pushed against the bruise while they watched tv had worked, otherwise she never would have heard the end of it.

“You got him pretty good” Mia laughed, elbowing in the stomach Logan, who was sitting right next to her.

“We sure did!” He answered, rising his palm so Aiden, another one of her friends, who was sitting across from him and next to YN could high five him.

Everyone laughed at that, everyone but YN, who stared at Logan with furrowed brows. She felt as if she was being left out of a game she didn’t want to play.

“What are you talking about?” She said, interrupting the obnoxious laughter that had erupted at the table.

“You know Styles?” Aiden nodded his head in Harry’s direction and YN followed the nod with her eyes, muttering a ‘yes’ through gritted teeth when she laid her gaze on his table, “He pissed me off the other day in class, so really, he had it coming”.

“He… he pissed you off?” YN said, trying to control her tone to not attract too much attention on their table.

“Harry corrected him” Amelia, who had been silently studying for her upcoming test, clarified, which earned her a glare and a muttered ‘shut up’ from Logan.

Amelia just shrugged and said “it’s not his fault you didn't know who wrote the Odyssey”.

“So you picked a fight with him?” YN exclaimed, still amazed by that exchange. She felt sick to her stomach at the thought of her friends being the reason Harry was hurt. And to think she thought he was doing drugs! How could she be so silly!

“He barely fought back. He’s such a pussy” Logan chuckled, picking up his can of coke and chugging it down in one gulp.

YN’s face screwed up in a grimace at his words. She wanted to shout and toss the food in her plate at them, but even the school’s cafeteria’s food would be wasted on them.

“You were four against one” Mia rattled, shrugging her shoulders and chewing absentmindedly on her fork’s teeth.

“What’s with you two?” Aiden rolled his eyes, motioning towards Mia and Amelia.

YN felt frozen in place and she knew in her heart she wasn’t being fair to Harry. Her friends had said more to defend him than she did, what the hell was her problem? She truly couldn’t believe her own friends would do something like that. They were always nice to her, but, now she knows, that didn’t mean anything. She refused to believe her friends were the type of guys that were nice only to girls or girls they liked and not nice in general, but she was beginning to think that was exactly the case.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” YN whispered, shyly.

She wasn’t one to shy away from confrontation, but if it meant confrontation with Harry, because Harry never screamed at her and always took his time to hear her and understand her feelings, Aiden and Logan, she wasn’t so sure. Suddenly she was afraid of their reaction, and she took a big gulp, regretting her outburst.

“What was that?” Logan snapped his head towards her, and she knew once she took in the angered look on his face that he had heard her completely fine the first time.

YN throw a glance in Harry’s direction to make sure he was still there, and felt relieved once she spotted him talking animatedly with one of his friends, a blond guy she knew was called Niall. Of course, the cafeteria was swarming with students, but somehow she felt safe only with him around.

“I said, what the fuck is wrong with you?” She repeated, with more confidence this time. She felt confident in her motives. She was defending her boyfriend, and despite their relationship being private, she could feel herself shiver at the thought of someone hurting Harry ever again.

“Watch your mouth, YN” Aiden chirped in, warning her.

“No!” She shouted, “If you think hurting people is okay, I’ll have to ask you again. What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“YN, calm down” Mia whispered once she noticed a couple of heads snap in their direction, tugging on her arm to gain her attention, but her eyes were focused on the boy sitting next to her.

She was fuming.

“I’m not calming down,” she said, throwing a quick glance towards her friend. She averted her chair behind her and stood up, all attention shifted on their table with the screeching sound of the chair falling to the ground.

“Fucking assholes!” She exclaimed, “did he hurt your little fragile ego when he corrected you? He hurt you so much you had to hit him?”

YN could feel everyone’s eyes on her but she didn’t care. Everyone in their school deserved to know what kind of people they were. She truly couldn’t believe she even associated with them in the first place!

“You are calming down” Aiden rose to his feet and enclosed her wrist in his hand, squeezing tightly against the soft skin.

YN whined a little and tried to free her wrist from his grip, but he only squeezed harder, and YN could feel his tight hold interrupting the blood’s circulation to her hand.

“Stop, you’re hurting me!” She squealed, tugging at her wrist once again.

Harry, who had been eyeing their exchange attentively, stood up from his seat and stomped angrily towards them, his friend Zayn following close behind him.

“What the fuck is going on!” He shouted once he reached them, and at this point YN knew they were putting on a show for everyone to watch.

“Harry it’s okay, just go” she whispered, scared they would hurt him again like they had before. She knew Harry would’ve never left her in a situation where she could’ve been hurt, but she wanted to protect him too, the best she could.

“Let her go” Harry said through gritted teeth, pushing against Aiden’s chest to make him loosen his grip.

Harry was taller than him and towered over him, but Aiden was such an asshole he wasn’t scared to fight guys bigger than him (Of course, Harry would say, he did that with an advantage of four against one).

“Look at that! YN has a fling with the freak!” Aiden laughed, taking a step back and releasing YN’s wrist from his hold.

YN brought her other hand up to massage the reddened skin of her wrist, to soothe it a little, and both Harry and her got distracted as they inspected her damaged skin.

Taking advantage of their distraction, Aiden pushed YN toward Harry and she stumbled a bit, but he managed to catch her before she could fall face first on the ground.

YN grabbed the fabric of his shirt to balance herself, and Harry squeezed gently at her biceps to calm her. She looked frightened and angry still, but Harry knew she had nothing to do with this. It’s him they had a problem with, and he was determined to end this once and for all.

“Not only you don’t know basic greek mythology, you like hurting girls too, ah?” Harry pushed YN behind him and she walked backwards a little until she stumbled against a body behind her. She turned and saw Zayn standing right behind her, watching carefully Harry’s every move, ready to jump in if Aiden played unfairly.

YN never really talked to Harry’s friends, but she was glad he had good people around him that were willing to get hurt to defend him. Just like she would.

YN turned her head once again to watch Harry, but this time he had grabbed the neck of Aiden’s shirt between his fingers, raising his other hand to punch him right on the nose. Then, Harry freed his shirt from his grip and Aiden stumbled backwards, falling to the ground while he brought a hand to his bloody nose.

“Fuck” he muttered under his breath.

After that, things got bad. YN barely remembers Logan making his way past her and Zayn and kicking Harry in his leg, making him fall on his knees. At that, Zayn ran to help his friend, throwing Logan on the ground and punching him repeatedly on his face.

The crowd around them had deepened and YN could make out the words ‘fight’ as her school mates shouted them, inciting what YN considered a carnage. She hated violence, and she hated that it was her fault the fight had erupted in the first place.

She isn’t lying when she says she was glad to hear the school’s principal run in the cafeteria, shouting the guys’s last names and finally breaking the fight.

Yn hurried down the hallway when she heard the school’s bell ring, smiling and waving at some of the people that said hi to her along the way. She made her way towards Mr. Smith’s class, sighing a breath of relief when she reached it.

She opened the door and peeked her head inside, smiling once she saw a mop of brown curly hair.

She closed the door behind her once she entered, and Harry peeked his head sideways from under the desk, sitting cross legged on the floor, a metal bucket sitting next to him.

“Are you almost done?” YN said, walking towards him.

“Almost” he nodded, continuing scraping under the desk with the scoop the janitor had provided for him. “You wouldn’t believe the amount of gum I’ve scraped. I think I’m never chewing gum ever again!” He added, tossing the dried gum in the bucket. YN scrunched her nose at the sight.

“I still can’t believe he punished you too!” She exclaimed, lowering herself so she could sit on the floor next to him.

“Yeah… well- I did start the fight” Harry shrugged, smiling at her once she was in his line of sight.

“You were just defending me” she shook her head, closing her lips in a pout.

“I know, but still” Harry shrugged once again, leaning his face towards hers to press his lips briefly against hers in an affectionate peck.

“Why didn’t you tell me they were the ones who punched you?” She whispered against his lips, and at her words, Harry pulled back from her mouth and went back to his work quickly.

YN frowned at that, worried she might have interrupted a nice moment between them with her big mouth, but after what felt like hours but were only seconds in reality, Harry said: “I didn’t want you to feel like you had to choose between them and me.”

She felt her chest warm with his words. She was satisfied with his answer and decided to let it go, she knew Harry didn’t like confrontation and she didn’t want to make him uncomfortable. She had gotten her answers that day in the cafeteria, and she had never — not once — looked back. She had Harry, and he was worth more than all her friends put together.

She watched him scrape gums for almost an hour, letting him chatter about this new dystopian book he had started to read and that he thought she’d like (she wouldn’t, but it’s the thought that counts, YN figures).

After he’s done, they stop before his locker to gather some textbooks he needed to study and to gather his things all together.

He’s handing the books to her as he fishes them out of his locker, asking her if she could hold them for him.

YN peeks at the last book on top of the pile she’s holding in her arms, and lets out a chuckle when she reads the title: Odyssey by Homer.

“Harry” she says, and he mumbles a ‘mh’ while he’s busy closing his locker with the combination of numbers.

“Tell me again what you said to Aiden”

“Babyyy” he whined dragging the end of the pet name, rolling his eyes lovingly at her, “you already know what I said!”

“No” she giggled childishly, “i don’t remember…”

“Fine” Harry sighed, turning around and grabbing the books from her hold, he gestured for her to start walking towards the entrance, so they could finally go home and relax after the long day they’d had.

“I said, not only you don’t know basic greek mythology, you like hurting girls too” he repeated his words, but his tone was much more flat now and less serious than it had been in the cafeteria.

She throw an arm around his neck to lower his face close to hers, and Harry widened his eyes and scrunched his nose at the sudden movement, puckering his lips anyway to meet hers in a brief kiss.

“You are so hot!”

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