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#JJ’s Mixtape
Note
Hello my love!! For the mistake prompts:
Miracle Baby by Nothing but Thieves + Dealers choice!
This is such a fun idea😮‍💨 Happy drabbles!
Wasting My Time
This drabble is part of JJ’s Mixtape - a mini series based on my followers’ favourite songs and characters. You can read more of them here!
Song Prompt: Miracle Baby
Pairing: Matt Murdock x reader (romantic, no pronouns used but disclaimer that this one feels more female-implied than others)
Word Count: ~1450
CW: Swearing, mentions of drugs, explicitly implied sex
Note: First, I love the subtle roast calling this a “mistake prompt” thank you Ella 😂 this song is so cool and gave me hazy dive bar feelings, and going-home-with-hot-stranger feelings. Hope you enjoy!
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Matt hated things like this.
His fingers idly tapped against the cool condensation blanketing the beer bottle on the bar in front of him, halfway torn between thinking about his trial in the morning and debating whether to go out tonight. Either way, he was itching to leave.
It was loud. The obnoxious kind of loud, not the kind where you could feel the appreciation for life and joy and merriment. Being dragged along to these stupid law school alumni mixers was the worst way to spend a Sunday evening. Yeah, you hated things like this.
But you’d just spotted the perfect distraction.
At your 10 o’clock. Tall, dark, handsome, sitting alone at the bar. Better yet, he looked like he’d rather be anywhere else but here, so, common ground.
You made your way through the masses, through the thick and clogged atmosphere saturated with terrible work-related jokes and the desperation to impress. Everyone else was in a sea of familiar faces but not you. You didn’t go to Columbia for law school. You only came because your roommate was too shy to come alone and promised she wouldn’t abandon you the exact way she did about five minutes ago.
Besides, you’d only lived in New York for three months and you’d spent so much energy settling into your dream law job that you hadn’t given much attention to making friends. Or to sex. But that was about to change.
Hence, the lone wolf at the bar.
After ordering some kind of sour cherry and lime cocktail with an over-the-top name, you settled on the stool next to the man. He didn’t acknowledge you and a quick glance at his walking stick gave you an indication as to why not.
“Let me guess,” you turned your head towards him and he looked your way. “Criminal law?”
He nodded, smiling with half his mouth. “What gave it away: the cheap suit, or the air of constant dread?”
You laughed, and the sound of it made Matt’s smile crack open. “You didn’t hand me a business card the second I sat down. And the lack of white powder around your nose.”
He laughed back, and you were successfully distracted.
His name was Matt, you soon learned. Past knowing he practised criminal law and that he graduated from Columbia you learned nothing more about his law career. You told him you were new in town, he told you he’d lived here his whole life, you told him you were grateful to meet someone so normal who’s been around forever and still thinks this city is worth staying in. He asked you why you chose New York and you said it just seemed like the right place to be. You couldn’t explain in. You blushed when you admitted it and your heartbeat picked up, so maybe you were doubting that decision.
He asked you about your hometown and turned his body completely towards you. You told him about it, about escaping on scholarship to Princeton, and your knees were soon gently resting against his. Somewhere throughout the course of the conversation, he rolled the sleeves of his white dress shirt up to just below his elbows. He took his time, made a subtle show of it.
You sipped slowly, Matt noticed; you weren’t here to get drunk. The citrus of your drink complimented the lavender in your shampoo, body wash, whatever the fuck it was that was the calmest thing in this place. It was clear you two were getting on well. So much so, no one bothered you.
Finally, he asked: “Where do you practise?”
“Nuh-uh,” you shook your head and pulled a knotted cherry stem from your teeth. “You and I are having a nice conversation here, Matt,” you chuckled. “All I do, all fucking day, is talk about law, think about law, breathe the fucking law-”
He grinned and held up an apologetic hand. “Message received.”
“Let’s talk about anything else.”
“Okay,” he held up that same hand towards you, putting the ball squarely in your court. “Shoot.”
You narrowed your eyes and twirled the stem between your fingertips. After a moment of contemplation, knowing very well where this may lead, you decided that this tall, dark and handsome distraction was worth the risky line.
“Do you think you could beat a grizzly bear in a fight?”
His eyebrows shot up but he didn’t stutter. “Excuse me?”
“No weapons. Pure brawn. One-on-one. Who wins, you or the bear?”
“The bear,” he waved his hand decisively. “No question.”
“Thank god,” you breathed in relief, nursing a smirk behind the stem in your fingers. His puzzled look was his question, so you answered. “Six percent of American men think they could beat a grizzly bear in a fight. Which means, there are about…” you looked around in a estimate head count, “four men in this bar who vastly overestimate their abilities.”
Matt bumped his eyebrows. Another question.
“I’m just making sure you’re not one of the four,” you said after another sip. Your glass was almost empty.
“Oh?” Matt cocked his head and found himself drawn in closer. “And why is that?”
You placed your now-empty glass down, letting it hit with a finality against the wooden bar. “Forgive me if I read you wrong, just seemed like you were searching for a reason to get the hell outta here too.”
Matt let your comment linger, and lifted the bottle to his lips to take another swig. He drained the last little bit and placed it on the counter next to yours. Your heart was beating pretty fast and you tried to calm your cherry-stained breathing, tried to look cool and collected. You wanted him, and you were the perfect distraction.
“You didn’t answer the question.”
Your breath in was shaky. Risky. No one else would’ve heard it.
“I’m just making sure I’m not wasting my time,” you said. “It’s not usually that fun, going home with a man who thinks they’re more capable than they actually are.”
He laughed once through his nose and pulled his beaten leather wallet from his coat pocket, placing thirty on the table to cover his beer, your cocktail and a tip for the bartender. “Trust me, sweetheart,” he stood and held his open palm out to you. You took his hand and left your stool with your coat and bag over your other arm. He leaned down, leaned in, so you could hear his husky promise over the sound of the bar. “You have no idea what I’m capable of.”
Sufficed to say, you had never met a more capable man.
His place was nice, his sheets were clean, he was strong and generous and attentive and that was a big problem. Because this was supposed to just be a distraction. A one-night thing. But it was hard to leave his bed at two thirty in the morning, it felt like tearing yourself away. And that was a problem.
Stay, he’d said. He had fresh towels, a toothbrush, he’d call you a cab in the morning after he’d made you coffee. I can’t, you said. On any other night you would have, but tomorrow was a big day. He understood, didn’t press the matter, and he called you a cab after wishing you a twenty-minute goodbye.
It was only at quarter to nine that same morning, when you were walking up the front steps with a takeaway coffee in hand, that you realised you didn’t have any way to contact him other than through your roommate, who might have his information. You didn’t even know Matt’s last name.
Matt thought about you as Foggy prepped the client in hushed whispers from the defence table. As he straightened files and pens and his personal voice recorder, he wondered when he’d run into you again. You’d been a good distraction. Too good. It was like you were still next to him, like he could still smell the cherry and lime, the lavender and honey and-… wait.
You settled next to your boss and put thoughts of last night out of your head, ready and focused to take on the day. It was a big one. For the first time since moving to New York, you were the lead on a case.
Matt’s mind raced as he listened to every whisper in the courtroom, and as he listened to them hush as the judge kicked off proceedings from the bench.
“Are we ready to begin?” Judge Wallace asked in a deadpan, looking straight to the defence’s table. Foggy stood.
“Defence is ready, Your Honour.”
From fifteen feet away, Matt heard the prosecutor stand. He closed his eyes behind his glasses and held in a sigh when he heard your voice say:
“Thank you, Your Honour. The State is ready to proceed.”
Oh… fuck.
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omegaremix · 2 months
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Omega Radio for March 1, 2020; #220.
Chain Cult “City Of Ruins”
Church Whip “Incadescere”
Pure Disgust “Clown”
Armor “Fraud”
Crisis Man “Sorta Dead”
Crooked Cross “Communion”
Pure Pressure “Open Case”, “Ya’ Better Get It Right!”
Tercer Mundo “Horrible Realidad”
Totalitar “Sista Kriget”
Ajax “Priced”
Bloodkrow Butcher “Big Brother”
Glue “Pig Fucker”
Die “B.T.K.”
Ivy “A Bum And A Playboy”
K9 Sniffies “Huffin’ Shit”
Rixe “Trainspotters”
Kegcharge “Medal Of Honor”
Deathcharge “Discarded Dreams”
Rumores “Heatwave”
Krimewatch “平和の夢“
Black Boot “Spitshine”
Diaspora “In Place”
Degreaser “Shithouse Man”
Kaleidoscope “Son Of Sand” / “Looking Glass”
Laughing Hyenas “Don’t Bouge My High”
Chain Hex “Final Gasp”
False Figure “Relics”
Life Lock “Indiscriminately Kill”
Mystique “Pressure Of Steel Hands”
Acrylics “Mother Was A Baby”
Blood Loss “Relentless”
Rut “My Skin”
Beehive “When Can I See You Again?
Ill Globo “Streamlined Success”
Summer Of Blood “Rotten Fruit”
Gutter Knife “Abuse Of Power”
Isotope “Not So Distant”
Arms Race “Distort Brittania”
JJ Doll “No One”
School Drugs “Side FX”
Drug Lust “Church Bitch”
Haram “Blood”
Perra Vida “Dime No Que”
Ratface “Bleak Futures”
Blood Pressure “Useless”
Denim & Leather “Bleeding Glass (Joe Smythe)”
Activations “Get Back”
Drunkdriver “To Whom It May Concern”
Easy Action “Out Cold”
Pandemix “The Pornography Of Hope”
Peste “Mercy”
Impalers “High Wired”
Bonus broadcast continues from Leap Day and begins WUSB’s week, month, and season for the second of three consecutive shows. Punk, noise punk, thrash, cassettes, demos and 45′s.
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omegaplus · 6 months
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# 4,509
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Omega Radio for October 21, 2023; #361.
Population II: "Beau Bapteme"
Borzoi: "Bonus Army"
Split System: "On The Street"
Honey Radar: "Rainbird / English Costume"
Corker: "Sour Candy"
JJ & The A's: "Head In A Vat"
D. Sablu: "Live" For Tour
King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard: "Gila Monster"
FACS: "Slogan"
Glaas: "Cruel Heart, Cold Summer"
Heavy Lungs: "All Gas No Breaks"
Porcelain: "C.O.A."
Neckbolt: "Sort Of"
Motorbike: "Throttle"
Blessed: "Felt"
Jus B: "No Gaze Inside Out"
Divide & Dissolve: "Indignation"
Death Index: "Patto Con Dio"
Facet: "Automatic"
S.M.I.L.E.: Lobotomy"
Kal Marks: "Fuck That Guy"
KEN Mode: "These Wires"
Ditz: "Riverstone"
Vangas: "Still"
Mr. Phylzzz: "I Took A Selfie At The Protest So Now I'm A Good Person"
Deluxe noise rock, psych-, and garage edition.
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anewsbuddy · 10 months
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Reports indicate that the Trail Blazers have accepted Matisse Thybulle's offer.
Matisse Thybulle, a swingman for the Portland Trail Blazers who is a restricted free agent, reportedly will not be leaving the team. The Portland Trail Blazers will match the three-year offer sheet that Thybulle received from the Dallas Mavericks on Wednesday, according to ESPN’s Adrian Wojnarowski. There was a two-day window for the Trail Blazers to either accept or reject the Mavericks’…
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jennasnotebook · 5 months
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spencer reid + music
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super random spencer + music headcanons
he goes to second-hand stores to buy most of his CDs and records. some of them are gifts from friends, though!
surprisingly, his music taste is pretty broad. he'll listen to anything if he thinks it's good
obviously, so so so many classical records (bach, debussy, vivaldi, tchaikovsky, mozart, etc!)
he listens to classical music mainly when he's reading, writing, cooking, and cleaning
he has huge stacks or records, CDs, mixtapes in his apartment that he's collected over time
and he owns a vintage turntable, of course!!
there's also a lot of gloomy 90s music in his collection
elliott smith, radiohead, jeff buckley, the smiths (of course)
he'll listen to "waltz #2" by elliott smith multiple times in a row when he's sad
really, really loves bob dylan and johnny cash
knows all the lyrics to "knockin on heaven's door." it's his go-to karaoke song!
he has one "wham!" christmas album that he always starts listening to in late november. hotch gave it to him when he was cleaning out his own record collection
a ton of one-of-a-kind vintage jazz records that he's collected over the years. rossi has lended him a bunch of those
he only recently started downloading songs on his ipod (penelope had to help him)
he has a dorky set of sony headphones that he absolutely adores
he takes them with him everywhere so he can listen to his fav albums and audiobooks on the metro :)
listens to so so so many audiobooks
every year he has to listen to all his edgar allen poe audiobooks before october ends!
when he was 14, his roommate in college lended him a nirvana "nevermind" CD, and he never ended up giving it back. it changed his life a little bit
he still listens to it from time to time. his favorite track is "on a plain"
spencer isn't usually one to listen to pop or radio music, but he definitely doesn't hate it
if he's a few drinks in, he'll end up dancing to nelly furtado at the club with jj and emily. it’s a huge guilty pleasure of his, for sure
loves artists like nas, dr. dre, 2pac, and biggie, all because of morgan ofc
spencer and penelope will rock out to hair metal and nu metal together if it plays on the radio!!! it's a fun time for both of them
all in all, i believe he's a man of variety!
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yiiyiiwrites · 2 months
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John B - Older Sister - Headcanon
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Everything is 50/50 with her and John B, they pool their money together for food and rent etc. What ever is left over is split and they do what ever they want.
Works a lot so doesn't know what John B gets up to half the time and doesn't want to know most of the time
"As long as you don't get caught, I don't care."
Making mixtapes for the twinkie.
Doesn't surf but lays on the beach tanning whilst John B's in the ocean. Does longboard though.
JJ flirts with her to annoy John B, but gets flustered whenever she flirts back in retaliation.
Not fond of all the treasure talk, afraid she'll lose her brother just like her dad...so she doesn't encourage it.
Gossips with Kiara and tells her all the talk she overhears at work from Kooks.
The hammock at the chateau is her favourite spot to relax.
John B bribes her with food. "Come on, it's not going be that bad. Just need you to keep the car running." He dangles her favourite snack in front of her face. "Fine, but I want another one of these once we're done."
John B telling her to let loose and go out, some ulterior motive so he and his friends get the chateaus to themselves, but he also wants her to have her own fun.
She's a heavy sleeper and can lay in till the afternoon...John B takes advantage of this so he can do whatever he wants.
JJ takes her to work on his bike as they work similar shifts and sometimes he offers to pick her up when she finishes later than him.
Pats Pope's back instead of hugging him as she knows he can be a little awkward.
Not sure on Sarah to begin with, but warms up to her after kiara works things out with her.
✨ Anymore prompts? - Yiiyii
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ellieslaces · 2 months
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chloe’s spotify masterlist! ☟
all of my character playlists! some of the songs are a little silly, but i really think they capture the vibe. enjoy! <3
ʚ leon kennedy’s mixtape ɞ
ʚ hazel callahan’s mixtape ɞ
ʚ ellie williams’ walkman ɞ
ʚ remus lupin’s record collection ɞ
ʚ rafe cameron’s spotify ɞ
ʚ jj maybank’s spotify ɞ
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𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐈𝐈
𝐅𝐥𝐮𝐟𝐟
𝐏𝐆
𝐀𝐥𝐥𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐭𝐨/𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐢𝐬𝐦/𝐩𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐞 𝐛𝐫𝐮𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲, 𝐬𝐞𝐱. 𝐀𝐥𝐥 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐧𝐭.
𝐀𝐬 𝐬𝐡𝐞'𝐬 𝐭𝐫𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭, 𝐉𝐉 𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐞𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐚 𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐡 𝐢𝐭. 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐰𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐧 𝐚𝐥𝐬𝐨 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐒𝐤𝐲𝐩𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥
𝟓𝐊 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬
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It’s impossible for JJ to stop thinking about Jasira, despite having been unsuccessful when it came to getting in contact with her. She didn’t want to seem eager or obsessive, but she did call her three times over the span of four days. Jasira had missed all those calls. JJ has convinced herself that she wasn’t being ignored. Deluded herself, more like it.She finds it difficult to imagine one could connect with someone the way she's so sure they connected and then discarded it like a used tissue. So, she has difficulty trying to fight her disappointment, and she doesn’t try too hard. Just hard enough to remain professional. So, when she goes to work, she's all polite grins and greetings. She isn't late with dishing out paperwork or making her rounds. She isn't lax with deadlines nor does she allow anyone else to be. She acts like the same old JJ who the team calls Mom as a joke, that isn't really a joke because she knows as well as they do that, like mother and children, they are utterly dysfunctional without her. She doesn't get the same time off they do but when she does, she always notices the poorly hidden signs of disarray; she's always approached enthusiastically and hugged too tight, always told, jokingly, that she can never take time off again in place of "I missed you" or "I hope you had a nice trip".
As normal as she tries to be, she still found herself playing the music at work. Be it the mix or one of the full albums she had recently bought because of the mix. It's a bit obsessional. She doesn't even know that she could tell you at this moment in time what she ever listened to before. Right now, it's all easy melodies over too smooth beats that sounds like love personified and it does nothing to soothe her Jasira-rotted, lovesick brain. No matter what she plays -- albums or mixtape, it brings her right back to New Orleans, back to her arms, back to the sound of her sweet voice with that accent that makes JJ feel suseptible to anything.
She remembers them talking, however brief, about trying to see where this connection would go. Maybe she hadn’t properly read her body language or something, but when they agreed to see where things go, Jasira seemed genuine. It’s possible that Jasira hadn’t meant it at the moment or had forgotten about her. But, JJ hadn’t forgotten, and she had meant what she said. It's the first time she's ever been sure that she felt it and certainly the first time she has ever said so. And, that, she can't let go of.
Once upon a time, she would have discarded the number. Really, just last year, JJ would not have even stayed around long enough for the number to be given. Or, at the very least, she would have the good sense to have taken the lack of an answer as an answer. But she can’t this time, no matter how often she tells herself that she needs to forget this entire thing. That it was a one night stand. She can't forget it. Not when she has memorized the scent and style of her braids. The feel of her curls at the roots of her box braids as JJ caressed her scalp while she lay under her as Jasira rode her with a sense of passion that JJ had once thought fictional. She can't let go of the sound of her laughs and moans. The smell and taste of her cooking, how she swatted her away from doing dishes. Looking back, JJ finds it incredible that she even tried because she hates to wash dishes. She remembers how she smells when she’s drunk and sweaty as well as how she smells fresh out of the shower. She can’t forget how intoxicating both scents are.
It's how she knows she's crazy because sometimes, even if she's alone, she smells her throughout her day. It sends her reeling and looking around, as if she will just pop up. She remembers the warmth, not just of her body but that inner feeling of warmth that arises in JJ when she held her in her arms or simply looked her in the eyes. How she noticed that JJ needed comfort and gave it to her without question or judgment. She can’t forget how open she was, how in touch with her feelings she seemed to be. A direct contrast to JJ, but it made her want this.
She was in a bit of a trance when the telephone in her office begin to ring. She sighed. She would never hope for a case, but at least if they had one, she would have something substantial to think about.
"This is Jennifer Jareau with the Behavioral Analysis Unit. How can we assist you?"
On the other end of the phone, Jasira smiles. "Well, I don't need the whole team, just you."
JJ sits upright in her chair. "Jasira?"
"The one and only, baby."
JJ leans back in her chair, shoulders dropping. A small smile spreads across her face. "I didn't think I would ever hear from you again, Shy."
Jasira sighs. She missed JJ's first call and calling her back was always apart of her plan. Life's been so crazy, though. Bryce won't stop violating his restraining order, and as hard as it was to get it put in her place, it was (un)surprisingly harder to get them to honor it. Because she "hadn't been hurt yet". It was stupid, and between balancing him and her final semester and being majorette captain preparing for her final state dance competition, she was exhausted. Plus, Bryce had broken a few things that belonged to her. Like her phone, for instance and JJ had her number, not the other way around. It's why she's spent the last hour calling different units of the FBI trying to figure out which one she worked for.
"I'm sorry. I broke my phone, and it took a lil while to replace it." Jasira explains...well, half explains. Because who wants to tell someone their phone was broken by their ex after he broke into her house to prevent her from calling the cops or one of her many brothers? It's not the most pleasant story in the world. She supposes, if she would tell anyone that, it would make sense for it to be JJ. But, she's sure she sees enough of that ugly shit at her job, and this a lot to dump on someone you're interested in this early in. Besides, he hasn't come around in a week, which is a typical disappearing period for when she fights him back, and he didn't get what he wanted from her. So, there's not reason to really bring it up now. "So, aside from thinkin' 'bout me and my dazzlin' personality, whatchu been up to?"
JJ laughs because, "Nothing that doesn't involve sitting behind a desk." And, it's true. Thinking of Jasira and paperwork are all that's become of her these days.
"No chasing serial killers? No train dodging? No outrunning bombs? No shooting suspicious people?"
JJ's forehead creases as her eyebrows furrow at her guesses, a chuckle falling from her lips. She's not offended. She can hear the teasing in Jasira's tone, and while she's seen some crazy shit on the job, Jasira's little assuming questions still feel a little off base.
"Okay," she stifles her chuckling, "I think I need to explain my actual job to you because why do you envision me dodging trains?"
Jasira smiles on the other end, "Ya know, I really don't feel like that was the wildest thing I said just then."
"Well, for the record, if I was going to shoot someone, I would need more of a reason than them simply being suspicious. I've never shot anyone, though."
Jasira hums, "You better than the locals then."
JJ wants to be surprised by that but one of NOPD's more well intentioned detectives actively drinks on the job. She can't imagine how the uniformed officers are and how much trouble that causes. Not only that, she's always been aware of how many bullies wear a badge for all the wrong reasons.
"Yeah, well, I don't think it takes much for that."
Jasira has to cut this short. Not that she had ever intended this to be a long conversation. She has her first class to teach. Unofficially, of course. It's for her class grade so she can be a real teacher after she graduates. This is the last thing she has to do before graduation. Well, that isn't dance related. She has her final dance competiton in a few weeks, and then, she is all done with college.
"I hate to end this," Jasira lets out a rueful sigh now, "But, I have a class to teach."
JJ doesn't know what she imagined her career to be. A teacher isn't shocking, though, not now that she's said it. It fits. From what JJ knows of her, anyway. She's spent her every moment thinking about how gentle and kind she is, about how peaceful her energy is.
"I didn't know you were a teacher."
"I will be when I graduate." Jasire clarifies. "Ima senior at Southern right now. Anyway, I really gotta to go. I just wanted to make sure you knew I ain't forget about you, and I still like you."
JJ deflates a little, but it isn't as if she has a ton of time to talk herself. She's got a ton of cases to sift through. So, she wishes Jasira good luck and makes sure Jasira has her cell so she doesn't have to wait for her call. Still, JJ promises to call when she gets home. Jasira promises to answer. When they say goodbye, JJ's feels a Derek-like smile spread across her face. She spends the rest of her day thinking about talking to her again. She checks her call log and sees that while Jasira had gotten a new phone, she maintained the same number. So, she saves it in her phone, finally.
She spends the rest of her shift floating on a cloud. Her team doesn't seem to notice any difference in her mood. She thinks the only person would notice is Gideon, and he's been hold up in his office all day. When the day is over with, Emily comes over and asks if she'd like to get drinks with the rest of the team. Any other time, she would say yes. She's actually got something to look forward to back in her apartment, so she manages to weasel her way out of it.
She goes straight home; she doesn't have much time to do anything else when she gets there before her cellphone is ringing. It's exactly who she wants it to be. She finds herself fussing over her hair as if she can be seen and doesn't wind up answering until the third ring, nearly missing it. Her cheeks are cherry red and she's speaking through a toothy grin when she answers.
"Hello?"
"I hope you ain't miss me too bad."
JJ rolled her eyes and huffed, playfully, "Oh, I was completely beside myself."
Which wasn't untrue, not by a longshot. But, she made it sound like a joke so Jasira laughed at it. The light sound put the flutter of ten hummingbirds in her chest and stomach. Her own smile grew impossibly wider.
"Seriously," JJ says, "I thought you had forgetten all about me."
"You are impossible to forget." Jasira reassures her. She hadn't stopped thinking about her. She dreams of her. Sometimes, in form of memories of the night they spent tangled into each other. In which case, she would wake up with ruined panties and in desperate need of a cold shower. Sometimes, she would dream of what could be. She would dream of them having movie nights. Of her teaching JJ some of her dance routines or some of the languages she speaks. She's dreamed of JJ teaching her to shoot a gun. Sharing her favorite music and movies with her. She imagines JJ coming to see her to spend a weekend and falling asleep in her arms. After Bryce, she had told herself that she wouldn't even try to date again until she was at least twenty-seven, but then, she met JJ and while she's not intrested in rushing anything, she's willing to speed up her timeline a little. "It's just been a rough time."
JJ's mind goes to a million places. Namely her neighborhood, her missing brother and then, to that asshole from the bar that publicly violated his restraining order like it was no big deal; her smile disappears. She worries about what a rough time for Jasira would look like, considering what she knows about her already. She knows fixing one of those existing issues it merely a matter of paperwork for her. But, she also knows, that on a personal level, she would overstepping. She doesn't want to violate her boundaries, and Jasira hasn't asked her for a thing. So, difficult as it may be, she's biting her tongue here.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
Jasira grumbles, "Not forreal. But," her voice perks up, "I also been stressed about dance. I'm kinda uncertain about the routine I'm choreographing. I needa show someone."
It's in this moment that JJ is realizing how little she knows about Jasira herself. Jasira had shared so much with her in their time together, and yes, it gave her someone insight about her. But, she had mostly talked about her lineage, her family history, her siblings and parents. She kept a lot of focus off herself. JJ hadn't realized she was an actual dancer. Hell, before today, she hadn't even realized that she hadn't graduated college yet.
"You're a dancer?" And, Jasira hums her confirmation. JJ smirks, imagining her in a uniform that would no doubt show off all her assets, "How did I miss those photos?"
"Because I didn't show them to you," Jasira quips. "My uniforms are stylish, glittery versions of what I sleep in, and you woulda jumped my bones again."
JJ throws her head back as a laugh escapes her before saying, "Well, I would love to see you dance."
"Do you use Skype?" Jasira asks, that pep in her voice reappearing. JJ sandwiches her cell between her ear and her shoulder before she goes searching for her laptop. "I ain't show my girls my routine yet and I need fresh eyes. So, since you wanna see so bad..." She trails off.
JJ finds her laptop in her bedroom. She flips the screen up and turns it on. Through her phone, she can hear Jasira typing. When she's got her computer on and the sight up, the two of them exchange usernames. There's a giddy feeling growing in the both of them. Sure, they would have wanted to their first time to see each other again to have been in person, but there is no way they wouldn't settle for this, for now. Besides, JJ meant would she said; she would absolutely love to see Shy dance for her. They chatter a bit in the mean time. No talk too heavy, just this and that.
JJ explains the nature of her job; what she does, what's expected of her. Jasira doesn't seem to think she's getting paid what she deserves because she does far more than what the job is supposed to entail. Her job is supposed to be managing bureaucracy, the press, paperwork and just general communication. She did all that, but she also did pretty all the same stuff the rest of the team did with not even a fraction of the same respect. She never gave much thought to her feeling of underappreciation until hearing it voiced by someone else. As right as Jasira was, JJ loved her job.
Spotty internet troubles keep them talking on the phone as they wait for their videos to connect properly. Jasira talks about what it was like to teach her practice lessons. She wants to be certitified to teach all grades. So, this week, she's teaching second graders. She gushes about how great the kids are, how smart, how spirited they all were for her. JJ just wishes she could see her talk about it. Wishes that she could see the smile that she's hearing so clearly. Next week, Jasira teaches junior high students. Than, after, high school. The week they met, Jasira had spent the week aiding in a preschool class, it seemed. JJ thought of having kids, someday, sort of but not really, and Jasira was open about wanting them herself, but that was something JJ couldn't imagine. Spending eight hours with twenty-something kids and then coming home to care for your own. It sounded even more taxing than her own job.
Jasira's bright smile pops on her laptop screen, finally, and it is only then that they actually hang up their cellphones. Jasira smiles at that shine in her soft blue eyes, gives her a joyful hello as if they hadn't been talking on the phone already. She stands, then, repositioning her laptop to give JJ a full unobstructed view of her dance. JJ's jaw clenches when she sees her, yet again in a spaghetti strap grey tank top and short, tight light blue and yellow shorts with her school logo on the sides on them. JJ hates there being a screen between them. As soon as she has that, she thinks, yeah, this is why I didn't see those photos.
"Okay, so, Ima do it first, step by step, and then again with the music," Jasira explains. JJ merely nods and waits. She doesn't know too much about dance in the sense of art or technicality, but she's eager to see her dance. And, she feels a bit honored that feels so comfortable showing her something she's yet to share with anyone. "I want you to understand what I'm showing you, but at the same time, watch it like you at a halftime show or competition or whatever. I needa know that it's engaging. And, I'm showing you the dance for my girls, not my solo piece 'cus it ain't the same, but it goes with it. I gotta make sure this piece is good first."
Jasira gets into her routine. JJ knows jack shit about dancing as an art or technicality, but she knows Jasira has to be good at what she does. She's precise; she explains where the marks are to be hit with each of her movements, and she is on it. She doesn't misstep. She doesn't make mistakes. From her limited technical perspective, JJ thinks she just might be actual perfection. She says might only because she lacks comparison and experience with judging dancers, but Jasira's doing a damn good job at explaining and making sure she understands. JJ has questions, but Jasira takes time to answer everything. She doesn't make her feel a way about asking, either. She's patient, and JJ just knows she's going to be an outstanding teacher. By the time she's finished with the breakdown of her routine, JJ is itching to see it with the music. To see it without interruptions.
Jasira delivers as promised, and God, she moves like flowing water. She's so smooth. It's beyond JJ how she could have ever worried about whether or not a crowd could find this alluring or engaging. She's mesmerized where she sits. Not just the dancing, it's impressive how good of an ear she has with this music choice. JJ had wondered, the entire first run through, what the music would sound like with a routine like hers, but now that she's hearing it and seeing it? She can't think of anything more suited for this. JJ can't imagine how good her solo is, if this is what her girls will be doing while she performs.
"Why are you not studying to be a dancer?" JJ can't help but ask as Jasira she finishes. Jasira blushes but rolls her eyes as she comes back to squat in front of the camera. JJ doesn't even smile. "I'm serious. Why didn't you go to a performing art school?"
Jasira shrugged, "I applied for Julliard on a dare, and I got in, but dancing ain't my calling. Ima teacher. That's my calling. I might teach dance on the side later or coach cheer or something, but no. I was born to teach."
"You are so sure of yourself," JJ says, smiling but only with her eyes.
Jasira is only twenty-two. It wasn't that long ago for JJ, not really. She's only twenty-eight, but it feels like three lifetimes ago. And, what she remembers most about that age, about her senior year of college, is being completely directionless. She didn't get an idea of what she wanted to do until just before graduation. And, even then, even after she had joined the academy, it was just that: an idea. She wasn't sure until she graduated from that it was where she wanted to be.
"When I was your age, I had no clue what my calling was."
Jasira nose crinkles up at the sound of when I was your age. A smile spreads scross her lips as she holds back her laughter, mimicking the statement before saying, "Okay, grandma."
JJ feels a smile of her own forming as her eyes roll. "Oh, shut it. I am only twenty-eight."
"So, act like you know it, then." She shakes her head. "Too damn young to be talkin' like my mawmaw." Her eyes are so teasing; JJ can see the twinkle in them. "How you figure out what you wanted to do?"
"David Rossi," and the answer was that simple. If she hadn't happen to be in that lecture that day, she doesn't know what she would doing now.
"Dunno who that is, Blue."
"What?" JJ gawks. "He's best-selling true crime author. He's one of founders of my unit. He's, like, everybody's hero."
Jasira lets out a soft snort with an almost missable smirk on her lips. "Blue, if I wanted to wrap myself up in true crime, I would just go stand at the end of my block for a hour. Why would I read about it? I prolly talk to three serial killers a day, if I'm being honest. Besides, you know Alvin Ailey?"
JJ shakes her head, "Never heard the name."
"See? We all got our own heroes. So, tell me, how did Agent Rossi change your life?"
So, she tells her a bit about his career first, for context. About his most impressive cases, about how he changed the way they investigate crime. She even reccomends a few of his books, in case Jasira gets curious. And, she's not. But, for as long as they'd been talking (though, not long at all), JJ has been all lazy smiles and tired eyes. She's excited about this. She's not giddy in the way most people would imagine, but Jasira thinks this is as giddy as she probably gets. Jasira thinks it's cute so she's going to make it a point to go and buy some of David Rossi's books. Even if she can't imagine gaining new insight from them.
After providing backgroud, she talks about that day. Not just the lecture itself but how she felt in that point in her life. Anxious and actually quite despressed because she had spent all this money on school only to be months away from graduation with no idea where her life was going. She really sets the stage before going into the lecture itself. She talks about the case David Rossi covered during that lecture, in depth. Jasira finds it a bit gross, but it's not too difficult to listen to. Not pleasant, and she definitely could have been spared. JJ looks like she's reliving the moment and that makes it worth listening to every sick, gory detail. Then, she gets into how the case was solved, eveything that went into it.
She talked about the families of the victims, and that's what is when JJ seemed like she really found herself. There was something about watching her talk about what it's like to usher people through the worst moment of their lives and giving them comfort that they wouldn't otherwise get. It's then that Jasira gets it.
"I don't know," JJ shrugs, "There's a lot of bullshit that comes with the job, and sure, they probably don't appreciate or respect my position, but I can't imagine not doing this. I can't not being there for those people."
"Ima need you to tell me some flaws 'cus you makin' real hard to not romanticize you in my head."
JJ put her finger on her chin, pretending to have a difficult time thinking. The answer was simple, though. She was horrible at relationships. She was good at making women want her, making them feel special and wanted, but she horrible at making them feel secure in having her. She wasn't good at not making them feel alone within their relationship. She doesn't know if she's capable, at this point, if she's capable of giving a woman what she needs in a relationship. She stopped trying about two and a half, maybe three years go. But, she's twenty-eight. Meaningless flings and one night stand are getting old. A part of her feels like this is a waste of time, a waste of Jasira's time, for sure. Her future is bright and JJ has a hard time imagining that she'll have a difficult time finding someone better. A bigger part of her, though, the part of her that wants something meaningful, the part of her that has her exploring new music genres and won't let her turn off that damned mixtape whenever she's idling, tells her that Jasira is more than worth giving it another shot, whether it works or not. But, God, does she want it to work.
"I have never had a girlfriend for more than eight months at a time."
Jasira nods, "Oh, yeah. That'll do it."
JJ grimaces, maybe it was too honest, "Is that a dealbreaker?"
"No, but you definitely just freaked me out a lil bit."
To be honest, she isn't sure she's ready for something serious, either. Not with all her baggage. She wasn't really looking for anything. But, honestly? Aside from her being good in bed, JJ is sweet and compassionate; Jasira's never had sweet. Or compassionate. She also doesn't trigger her. Looking at JJ, nothing about her reminded Shy of him. She'd been struggling for a year to take control of her sexuality. Of feeling safe enough with sex to let her guard down to have sex. It hadn't been going particularly well until she saw JJ. No matter what, be it man or woman, at some point, she would see him in their eyes, their complexion, their hair. She'd feel his lips where theirs should have been, and she would lose her mind. She wouldn't be able to go through with it. Everything about JJ was different than him. Physically, anyway. She hates that it's such a strong factor for her, but it is. JJ being a seeming commitmentphobe oddly creates an even bigger feeling of safety. It means she can keep a single foot out of door. She can move within this without fear, if JJ isn't going to commit then she probably won't care about a lot. Not care enough that it'll make her crazy and possessive anyway.
"I mean, I know we said what we said, but I have spent seven years in," She cuts herself off, wincing at the influx of memories rushing her brain at once, "A complicated relationship. I like you, but I ain't tryna jump into sumn serious, and if you a runner, then it take some of the pressure off."
JJ exhales as the elephant that found home on her chest gets up and leaves. She wouldn't have faulted her if she seemed this a waste of time and decided not to give it shot. It feels damn good that she didn't, though. Even better that they are about in the same place. The last thing JJ wants is to rush anything and for this to end up like the others. Jasira doesn't seem to want this to be super serious, and while JJ isn't completely sure, it stings a little to hear her imply that.
They talk more. Lay out the ground rules for which there aren't many. Not this early, anyway, but JJ doesn't want to put a fraction of the effort that she's willing to try in give Jasira to someone else. Even so, seven years of complication means Jasira's experienced next to nothing, and JJ doesn't want to take anything away from her. She remembers twenty-two, after all. So, they agree to keep things casual. It's the best for both of them. Between her career and their distance, it didn't make much sense to either of them to completely cut themselves off from other people, even if JJ can't imagine herself entertaining anyone else.
They stay on skype as they go about the rest of their day, in their respective homes. There's something calming to them both about going about their lives as if they were spending their day physically together. They watch tv together, each picking a show for them to watch until a new program starts. They watch four episodes of Seinfield and four episodes of One-on-One. They have dinner together; JJ orders take out and takes notes while Jasira prepares dinner as she waits for it. They even go their nightly routine together before bed. As much as they want to stay on, they've both got early mornings and their laptops are so heated they might catch fire. So, they say goodnight, and JJ finds herself promising to call Jasira to wake her up in the morning. Because their schedules just fit like that.
For the first time almost a year and a half, JJ sleeps with a completely peaceful, free mind.
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runningfrom2am · 10 months
Text
the sea around us; pt 2. chapter one
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Snowy saw no choice but to run- wondering if Rafe will ever understand that the pogues mean everything to her. JJ gets it though. JJ will always get it.
(jj maybank x f!oc)
(rafe cameron x f!oc)
warnings/tags: violence, drug/alcohol use, smoking, sexual content (if you squint), slowburn, brother’s best friend, (these tags are obv not exhaustive but regardless it’s pretty PG13)
wc: 2.6k
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*:・゚✧*:・゚
How our boat didn't flip in that storm is an absolute miracle, the same goes for how we lost the police just outside of the Outer Banks. I wake up completely soaked, laying on the bottom of the boat with a life jacket on. My mouth is so dry it's the only thing I can feel. I slowly sit up, rubbing my head as it starts to pound and I get dizzy. I look around, and we're completely surrounded by water. No land in sight. The sun is just rising again.
"Shit..." I mumble. I must have gotten knocked out, because the last thing I remember is trying to see out into the ocean as police lights flashed behind us, and holding on to JJ for dear life. "JJ?" I ask, hardly able to make a sound. I look around, panicking as I don't immediately see my friend.
"JJ?" I try again, louder this time.
"Right here." I hear him respond from behind me, and I turn to see him digging through the hold. "Are you okay?" He asks.
I sigh a breath of relief and try and stand up. "Yeah, I'm good. You?"
JJ nods as he stands back up. "Yeah, I'm alright. I just woke up too- that was a rough one. I don't understand how we didn't sink." He says as I sit on the bench and he hands me a water bottle.
"I hope John B made it." I say, taking it from him as he sits down next to me.
"On The Phantom? Of course he made it." JJ chuckles, patting my back. "If we can make it on this piece of shit." He jokes and I shake my head.
"This old thing? A 2020 worth about fifty k? Sure- yeah." I laugh before drinking about half the bottle of water.
"Do we know where we are?" I ask, wiping my mouth. I have never been so in love with the taste of water.
"Uh, well, not exactly," JJ says, standing up again and looking around. "But, the good news is, this kook boat has a nav system that tells me..." He says, trailing off as he goes over to the driver's seat and squints at the screen. "We're heading southwest by the looks of it, which means... drum roll, please... Florida!" He grins, turning back to me.
"Oh christ." I sigh, rubbing my forehead. "I hate Florida."
"What? What's wrong with Florida?" JJ laughs, but I can tell he's just bugging me.
Suddenly I gasp as I make a scary realization. "JJ, these kook boats have tracking devices in them. We have to ditch it, like, asap if we don't want to get caught."
"Shit..." JJ mumbles, adjusting his hat. "Okay, well, I'll figure this thing out and get us to shore as far as we can get, we'll ditch it in the keys and jack another boat to get to Mexico." He's always been the plans guy, but this one seemed a little obvious.
I smile and nod. "Sounds like the best option to me." I stand up and take off my life jacket to take off JJ's hoodie which is still completely soaked.
"While we're cruising, should we get the speakers on this baby going?" JJ asks, fiddling with the controls once he gets us moving.
"Do you have a phone?" I reply, laying the hoodie out on the seat to dry in the sun.
"No, but, they do have a series of CDs already loaded up apparently- can I interest you in 'Sarah's chilling out mixtape'?" He says, already putting it on.
I laugh and walk carefully over to where he's steering the boat now, looking down at the navigation system. He looks over and then wraps his arm around my shoulder.
"Wanna play categories?" I smile, looking up at my blonde friend, who nods.
"Sure- category is..." He thinks for a moment. "J names?"
I nod a little bit, thinking it over. "JJ." I start.
"You took mine!" He laughs, shaking me with the arm he has on my shoulder, draping it around my neck now. "Okay fine- Juliette." I roll my eyes as he says this.
"John B." I respond with a slight laugh.
"We're getting really creative with this apparently."
"Hey, you picked the category. Not me."
"Okay fine, let's change it. Let's do... vehicles." He suggests instead.
"I know you only picked that because you think you'll win- but I know more about cars than you think, JJ."
"Hey, I never said you didn't! It's more fun that way." He laughs. "Okay, starting with A, I'll go with... Astin Martin."
"You can't even spell Astin Martin it's so kooky." I laugh.
"I'm not saying I'd ever drive one, I just know it exists. Which, admittedly, feels like I'm pushing it as it is." JJ says and I smile, shaking my head.
"That's definitely pushing it."
*:・゚✧*:・゚
We spend the whole day with JJ driving us in a straight shot toward Florida, and me talking on and on about everything under the sun. It's nice to feel a little normal again, when I'm not thinking about everything that led us up to this situation.
We're almost out of gas and it's completely dark when we see a coastline, and confirm on the nav that it is, in fact, Florida. Just outside of Miami, if we had to guess. We almost make it to shore before the engine cuts because of our lack of gas, so we decide to jump ship and swim the rest of the way. It's not really that far. We stop on the beach to look back at the boat we left floating in the water. I do honestly hope that the Cameron's get it back okay, the police will have noticed it by morning, and they'll be contacted to say it was found. Which also means we have to move fast.
"So, I'm thinking we have to hitchhike to make it to the keys," JJ suggests as he helps me walk off the deserted beach and into the city that sits right on the coast.
"JJ, I'm not hitchhiking anywhere." I shake my head as we walk, with no real destination in mind besides finding somewhere to sleep.
"What do you suggest then- an uber? No way. That's basically putting a beacon right on our heads telling the cops to come pick us up."
"It's so dangerous, we didn't make it this far just to die at the hands of a serial killer with a wife and kids in Tampa Bay."
"Come on, Snow, you're not alone. I'll protect you, we'll be fine." JJ insists, peeking around the corner of the building were walking alongside. No doubt checking for cops. I sigh as I stop, waiting for him to give the go-ahead.
"Alright, fine. But my death will be on your hands at that point." I agree as he wraps his arm back around my waist to help me walk. I try to hide my limp as much as possible, because we already look ridiculously sketchy.
We walk into a darker area of dodgy-looking apartments and see an empty, seemingly abandoned corner store that's boarded up. Luckily, since it's Florida, we're not the first to break in. We crawl through a broken window and look around- this is as good a place to crash as any.
We curl up on the floor in the back room with no windows, and try and get as much sleep as possible.
In the morning, I'm the first to wake up. JJ is still snoring beside me, and I sit up and stretch. As soon as I lift my head from on top of his arm, he's rolling over. I get up quietly, and try and find the bathroom. Not fully functional, but it has a dirty mirror which I wipe off with my hand. I stare at my reflection, trying to recognize myself. I'm dirty, my clothes are still blood-stained from when I tried to save Peterkin and was almost killed for it. My hair is matted since it hasn't seen a brush in days, so I decide I should look around the almost empty shelves to see if I can find one.
I look around and find a couple spare granola bars in a drawer behind the desk, and when I move on to the next one I don't find a brush, but I do find a pair of scissors.
I think for a minute before picking them up, and heading straight back to the bathroom. I look in the mirror again, turning the scissors over in my hand. I have to cut it all off. I should, anyways. My hair is so identifiable. But something in my gut is telling me that I can't.
"Your hair holds all your memories."
I hear my mothers voice echoing in my head. I haven't cut it since before we moved, and in a way it's all I have left of my life in Canada. Realistically though, I know it's not true. I haven't talked to my old friends in years. I have no ties there. Except for the memories.
Before I can convince myself otherwise, I reach up with the scissors and cut a chunk off just above my shoulder. I take a deep breath. It's too late now- I have to finish what I started.
I work my way around my head, using that first piece as a reference for the length. By the time I'm done, it's choppy, but my curls will hide that well enough. I go back to staring at myself in the mirror, trying to fix it, make it look okay, but I don't look like me anymore. My cheeks are coated with tears now- what have I done. I've never cried as much in my life as I have in the last month.
"New look?" I hear JJ's voice behind me, and turn as he leans against the door frame. His smile fades when he sees how upset I am. "Come here..." He says softly, holding his arms out and I practically fall into them.
He rubs my back gently, and I can feel it as he looks down at the floor where there are piles and piles of my hair scattered around the sink and the ground along with every version of me I have ever been.
"I'm sorry.." I mumble as I let him go. "We should probably get going."
"No, no, you're fine." JJ insists, smiling at me. "You look great. It suits you." He says, trying to make me feel better.
I return his smile, wiping my eyes. "Thanks, J."
"You're right, though, no doubt they've found the boat by now; we gotta run." He says, turning back and I follow him towards the broken window we climbed in.
"We need to find new clothes." I say as we walk down the block. It's still dark enough out, we only got a couple hours of sleep.
"Yeah, you're looking a little worse for wear." He jokes. "We just need to find one of those bins people dump clothes in to donate, I bet that's got some good shit."
"I'm sure." I laugh. "Or, we could find an actual store, I have some money, you know."
"Oh, yeah, that works too. Somewhere without cameras, though, preferably." JJ agrees.
We walk on for a while longer, in one direction trying to stay aligned with the water without being out in the open. We come across a street of shops just as the sun fully rises in the sky. It's a run down area, with people sleeping on the streets in makeshift tents. It's hard to fathom that right now, that's us. Nowhere to call home, stranded.
"Hey, look." JJ draws my attention from my thoughts, and he's pointing towards a thrift shop that's just opening. "They just opened, so it'll be just us in there. Follow my lead- we're gonna absolutely stumble in there, high out of our minds. Got it? Try not to show your face. If they think we're junkies, they won't recognize us or question the state of your clothes." He says and I nod- unsure if his logic even tracks but it's worth a shot.
We walk across the street and JJ's demeanour changes as he opens the door for me and follows me in.
"Mornin', ma'am." JJ smiles at the woman at the counter, slurring his words slightly as I walk the other way to the racks. I can feel her eyes on me as JJ talks to her.
I quickly grab a few things that I think will fit, and head up to the counter next to JJ as he leans on it.
"You hear about that storm, up in the Carolina's?" JJ asks her as I place my stuff on the counter. Some shorts, a tank top, and some converse.
"I did- it's very scary." The woman agrees, looking at me closely.
"That'll be fifteen dollars." She tells me and I nod, reaching into my pocket and pulling out some cash, handing her a twenty.
She thanks me, and JJ tips his hat at her and heads for the door, but she grabs my hand as she hands me my change.
"Dear, are you alright? Do you need me to call someone for you?" She whispers, a concerned look crossing her face.
I quickly nod. "I'm fine, thank you." I say, pulling my hand away and shoving the change in my pocket. I quickly walk over to the door, looking back briefly at her as I push it open and meet JJ outside.
"What did she say to you?" He asks, joining me as I keep walking.
"She asked if she should call someone for me." I explain. "I need to get changed and we need to get out of here."
"Here, yeah, this way." JJ says, guiding me into an alley beside the next building down. We step behind a dumpster and JJ stands in front of me, holding his hoodie out to cover me as much as possible and closing his eyes.
"Can you- uh..." I stutter, gesturing for him to turn around.
"Oh! Yeah, sorry..." He says awkwardly, turning around. "You act like I haven't seen you naked before." He jokes as I quickly get changed.
"Shut up, JJ." I can't help but laugh slightly.
"The great bathtub incident of twenty-nineteen." He adds and I hit him in the back with my shorts before throwing them in the bin next to me along with the rest of my bloodied and dirty clothes.
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"Okay, I'm good." I say, still slightly laughing.
JJ turns back around with a shit-eating grin still on his face. "Hey, you look good for a fugitive! New haircut, new clothes, you're a whole new woman."
"Thanks." I laugh slightly, trying to push my hair back behind my ears, but it's hardly long enough to stay now.
"Hey, uh, I got you something." JJ smiles, digging into his pocket. "I was just thinkin', you know, this outfit, while cute, of course; is looking a little incomplete." He smiles. "Turn around."
I give him a confused look as I turn, and he lifts his hands up over my head, settling a necklace around my neck. I look down to try and see it as I feel him latching it. A little snowflake. It brings a blush to my cheeks.
"Where did you get this?" I say, smiling wide as I hold it in my hand, turning back to him.
"Nicked it while that lady was asking if I beat you." JJ explains, looking down at the necklace as well. "I just thought you had to have it."
"It's cute- thank you, JJ." I smile, looking up at him now.
We stare at each other for a moment, completely consumed by the quiet that surrounded us in this alley.
"Should we... uhm..." I say, focussing again on the task at hand.
"Yeah, yeah let's get going." JJ agrees, wrapping his arm around my waist again as we step back into the street.
*:・゚✧*:・
first chapter of part two- yay!! i'm feeling really good ab this one :) -R
taglist: @boo22sstuff @madelynie @username5786451 @peachprairie @slut4drudy @sadfury @mutual-mendes @cecesrings (i also tagged some mutuals so message me or reply if you want to be added (or removed lol)!!)
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t4tmoreid · 2 years
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gimme your favorite cm headcanons
i will celebrate you posting again like a kpop comeback
omg hiiii hehe ok honestly it's been a hot minute since i've thought about cm hcs but:
spencer is a cat dad to the most evil little asshole in the world <3 he's got this white and orange cat that he adopted when he was working on his first PhD cause he thought the company would be nice, and he named it something that's frankly stupid and annoying like Proton or Sagan or something, and this cat is like, objectively a little shit. like, he claws up the furniture, hides under the sofa to swat at spencer's feet when he walks by, pushes his glasses of the counter, eats pages out of any books spencer leaves around, etc etc. and spencer loves him dearly but he is just beefing with this little cat CONSTANTLY. like he's always showing up to work with scratches on his hands and arms, dramatically monologuing and whining about how this little shit has it out for him specifically and how he's quite literally the devil himself in cat form. but then the second someone else chimes in and is like "yeah your cat is kind of an asshole man" spencer's just like i'm sorry what did you say to me. watch your mouth dude that's my fucking cat and i love him more than anything. fuck you.
speaking of cats, hotch is like, a cat magnet for a reason none of them can quite grasp. like he's really more of a dog person, never been that much of a cat lover if he's being honest, but any time he's over at spencer's or emily's their cats just will not leave him alone. and because the universe has a sense of humour, hotch is pretty much the only person who spencer's cat will cuddle with. like the first time spencer has the team over to his place, he's barely gotten the words out to warn them to be careful around his little demon spawn before he turns around to see his cat up in hotch's lap, purring obnoxiously looking for pets. traitor.
derek teases spencer mercilessly for his nerdy glasses, but he literally has reading glasses himself, he's just so far into it at this point that he'd rather die than admit it. he gives himself headaches constantly because he refuses to wear them and give spencer the satisfaction.
emily and derek get like, really extremely competitive over video games. you'd think it would be penny cause she's really the gamer among them, but when mario kart or just dance comes out derek and emily become people that they're honestly not proud of. and like the trash talk that comes out is quite frankly bizarre, so penelope prefers to just sit back with her wine and watch them bicker and sabotage one another like bratty siblings.
derek is always making mixtapes for spencer <3 i know i have a post about this somewhere, but like at least once a week derek is carefully curating a new collection of songs to burn onto a cd that he says spencer just has to listen to - because you're so uncultured about music it's honestly unacceptable spence - it's not at all because he has a stupid little crush that he can't quite seem to kick and he has no idea how the hell he's supposed to approach that when it's his stupid, awkward, gangly, endlessly endearing close friend doctor reid, and music is like the one thing he can fall back on as a way to get his feelings out so he doesn't, like, explode.
can i say homophobic jj. LOL like will people get mad at me if i say that. anyway jj is the girl who brags about having gay friends and tags along to the gay bar with penny emily spencer and derek cause she doesn't want to be left out and then gets grossed out when a woman tries to flirt with her SORRY ok i'm sorry. god.
whenever things are especially busy at the unit (or worse than usual at home) hotch tends to stays really late. penelope knows this, and she also knows that when hotch holes away in his office pouring over paperwork for hours and hours after everyone else has long since gone home, he very rarely takes the time to remember to get something to eat. so penelope has taken to bringing in an extra serving of whatever she takes for lunch, whether it's an extra sandwich or a second tupperware container of leftover pasta, and before she heads home she always comes up with some excuse to give it to hotch. she tells him she went out to lunch with derek so she didn't end up needing it, or she was half asleep this morning when she'd packed it and she'd made a second sandwich without thinking, and honestly hotch you might as well take it cause if you don't it's just gonna go in the garbage anyway and it's not good to waste food, hotch, there are people who are starving. and he always concedes, eventually, and accepts her food. she always looks so pleased with herself, like she's pulled the wool over his eyes, and hotch's throat kinda feels tight with the knowledge that someone cares enough to make sure he eats when he stays late, and also penelope is like a really good cook, so there's that, too.
when spencer has his hair grown out longer he lets penelope use him as a model to teach derek how to braid. derek has tried to braid penelope's hair before, with little success, and it's so much easier to show him on somebody else, but no matter how much she'd begged emily had refused to give in, so spencer it was. and honestly spencer thinks it's kinda nice, the feeling of somebody's fingers playing with his hair. especially when they're penelopes fingers, which move gently and lightly and don't pull too hard, and he comes out of it with a pretty french braid that has pieces falling out in the front because if they're being totally honestly his hair isn't quite long enough for this yet. derek is sort of less gentle when it's his turn to try, more prone to accidentally pulling so hard it makes spencer's whole fucking scalp tingle, but it's still nice to be sitting cross legged on the floor between derek's knees with derek's hands in his hair, so spencer only complains a little bit.
penelope keeps one of those "word of the day" tearaway calendars on her desk, and every so often she throws some word like "mellifluous" into conversation out of nowhere and everybody is just like 😐
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Omg the mixtape requests!! I love the idea!!
The song: like a tattoo by Sade with Bucky Barnes! Specially from the min 1:35 to 2:03 I think you’ll love it x fem reader
The Scar of Age
This drabble is part of JJ’s Mixtape - a mini series based on my followers’ favourite songs and characters. You can read more of them here!
Song Prompt: Like a Tattoo
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader (romantic, no pronouns used)
Word Count: ~2350
CW: Talking about death and killing, reader has killed people on a mission, kissing, allusions to rough kissing/six (consensual), overwhelmed response that could be interpreted as a panic attack (but isn’t intended to be one)
Note: Thank you for your beautiful request, anon !! (I wrote this for a female reader and then realised no pronouns/gendered descriptions were used, so have tagged it accordingly) When I heard this song the image I instantly had was riding a motorbike through a snowy mountain road, and what was supposed to be a steamy little safe-house number turned into something a little more heavy. I was so inspired by the lyrics of this song, thank you for sharing 💜
The war is still raging inside of me // I still feel the chill // as I reveal my shame to you // I wear it like a tattoo
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It’s been growing for months. This budding, rising magnetism alive between you and him. Still unspoken, still untouched, now unfettered.
It started not long after he returned from Wakanda. The attraction was instant, the pull soon became hard to resist but, by the gods, you resisted it with all you had. You kept a respectful and professional distance where possible. He’d been through a lot.
But the breathing room has seen it grow beyond control and now, for the first time in forever, you and Bucky are going to be truly alone.
The frostbitten air bites at your leathers as you snake up the icy switchbacks, giving and taking on the throttle, gently guiding the electric motorcycle through the snowy mountain roads towards somewhere out of the way. To the solitude you had been gifted.
He's sitting behind you, and though he’s an anchor of his own his hands are on your waist. It distracts you more than once and you're sure he knows it because he firms his touch when the bike slows from your wayward thoughts. If he dared to broach the subject, you'd blame the ice on the road. Or would you?
The night had been long and rough. Snowcapped mountains begin to glow as you ride to one of Stark's more isolated houses. The beauty of the new day only makes you feel worse after the events of the night; three enemy guards, dead by your hand.
They will never see another sunrise.
Sure, you had an important job to do to keep the public safe, and sure, they were trying to kill you, but damned you'd be if every life ended by your hand didn't eat away at you.
The dirt feeling that gnaws at your gut is your only place of solace because it still hurts. If it ever stopped hurting, you'd walk away for good. Steve promised to help you disappear if that day comes.
Steve. A wry smile threatens to burst under the helmet as you finally see the house in the distance. Steve is the one who rostered this assignment, knowing where it was, knowing the airspace would be tightly monitored the days after your mission, knowing whoever was assigned to it would need to be under the radar until extraction would be less risky. A few nights at least.
He had arranged all of this in front of a room full of highly-perceptive people. No jibing comments were thrown from the other seats, which was so unusual that awkwardness rushed into the void. The panic of perception started to sink in your bones but when you met Bucky’s eye, you stilled. You ceased to wish the ground would swallow you whole the moment his usually stony glare was soft, almost apologetic, as if he was afraid you’d think he’d done this to get you alone. You didn’t smile, hyperaware of the eyes all around, but the look you returned to him seemed to smooth his frayed edges.
Now, there are no prying eyes. Your quickening heartbeat becomes the score of your final stretch towards this unusual hollow of privacy. The house comes more into view. It’s at the end of a straight stretch of road. You tilt your wrist and roll the throttle. As the bike picks up speed, Bucky’s hands slide from your waist down to rest at your hips. It makes your toes curl inside your boots, and you have to hone your focus on the house you’re fast approaching.
The sharp and grey abode look harsh yet at home nestled into the snow-covered bedrock, and the unforgiving structure looks strange bathed in warm pink sunlight. It’s one of those boxy houses made of cool concrete and glass that looks as if it should always be shrouded in cloud cover, but the windows are alive with the rising sun and it pulls a sad smile to your lips.
You ease the bike to a stop when you reach the gate. Both yours and Bucky’s right feet meet the ground to hold the bike as you punch the code into the gate, which opens along with a hidden garage door beneath the house towards which you slip through the fenced doors and quickly guide the bike down a ramp.
The lights gradually flick on as you slow the bike to its final stop next to a few others. You dismount with haste and pull your helmet and gloves off, blowing hot air on your fingers as you rub your hands together. Bucky swings his leg off the bike and removes his own helmet. Strands of his chestnut hair come loose from the knot at the nape of his neck, striking something real and imperfect against his cold-flushed cheekbones. You steal only a quick glance at his rugged tired eyes before he nods his chin towards a staircase that goes up. “Go warm up. I’ll unload.” All you can do is nod, thankful that you can skip off to find a hot shower. The cold is turning painful and the house, though industrial and cavernous, is already pleasantly warm. It isn’t ridiculously large though, and it doesn’t take you long to find a bedroom.
Earlier on in your career, the preparedness of these houses used to haunt you. Somehow, they always had fresh clothes in your size ready and waiting in the wardrobes. Now, you’re desensitised to it all. It’s just another part of the job.
The hot spray is soon welcoming you to your place of rest, easing that chill that had set into your bones, reminding you that you are now safe. Alone. Your pulse drops to your stomach, you breathe through it, and hope you’re not emanating something less savoury than contentment at being here alone with Bucky.
You’re soon dressed and in an industrial-styled kitchen that overlooks a sprawling, picturesque landscape. The floor is warm beneath your socked feet, a feature of the house, and the fridge is stocked for you to begin preparing some food to tame snarling stomachs. Somewhere in your field of sound, the spray of another showed subsides. That pulse picks up again and you focus on cracking some eggs into a white ceramic bowl.
Bucky needs a lot of food, that much is obvious, with the super serum cranking his metabolism, and a lot of protein at that. You’d just finished off breaking the last of the dozen eggs into the bowl when your companion enters the kitchen without a word.
You look up at him, because it would be weird not to, and give a brief, tight smile before opening a drawer in search of a whisk. His brief and welcome hand meets the small of your back as he passes behind you, making his way to start cutting the vegetables you put on the bench. It sends a surge of abashment through your nerves. You curl your toes against the smooth, strangely warm floor.
“I don’t mind cooking.” Your fingers close around a whisk and you close the drawer with your hip.
His head turns in your peripherals so you meet his eye. His stare is soft, framed by the drag of a sleepless night, but not by a hopelessness they once held. He shrugs with one shoulder and almost smiles. “It’s nice to do something normal.” He turns back to the counter and picks up a mushroom, and your eyes roam over him.
The African sun had been kind to him, tinting his skin with pinprick freckles and a tan that had almost faded. His hair holds the summer too. He keeps it pulled back but the shorter pieces frame his face and are laced with tiny threads of gold and the beginnings of grey. You can see the hues even through the post-shower dampness clinging to his waves. The colours are beautiful, you think, because they're signs of life lived after the stolen decades. Of all the scars, age is the only one he deserves. Maybe if you were a different person in a different life, you would've said it out loud. Romanticism doesn't seem to befit you. It feels too soft and too good.
He speaks again as soon as you turn back to the bowl.
“I should’ve got to them first,” he sniffs back the cold. “The guards.”
Your twirl your wrist to beat the eggs and keep your tone level. “I handled it just fine.”
“Yeah, well… I can see-” He lets a breath out and collects his thoughts. “I know y’don’t like it.”
You release your own deep breath through your nose, whisk stilling in your hand. “No one likes it, but it’s part of the job.”
He puts the knife down and turns his head towards you again. “I’m just saying… I can-”
“I don’t want you to do that for me, Bucky.”
Your voice is measured and the whisk doesn’t stop. You smooth a hand against side of the bowl and stare into the milky yellow mixture as it spins and spins and spins. He spent too long taking lives because other people couldn’t do their own dirty work.
“It’s not fair to you.” You sighed once, quickly, almost in a huff, before slowing the whisk again and correcting yourself. “It’s not fair to either of us, but that’s the way the world works.” Indecisive, you put down the utensil and turn your head towards him, shifting your eyes to his chopping board. His body heat skims your left arm. “I don’t want you to protect me from what has to be done. I don’t want you to see me as-”
The words die at your lips and Bucky’s head tilts. “As what?” He prompts in a gentle nudge. His hands are against the counter.
You close your eyes and smile involuntarily, so you force out a dry laugh to cover it up with a shake of your head. Every bit of air in your lungs is screaming out for him to come closer, to rid you of this mounting feeling inside, to break through this barrier of professionalism and fear that you wouldn’t be good for him.
“As one of them,” you can’t meet his eye. “As someone you have to kill for.”
You refused to be the reason he took a life. You weren’t going to do that to him.
You’d be no better than HYDRA.
He responds with something pained, something just above a whisper. “You know how I see you.” It’s not a question, nor an answer. It’s pure honesty simmering just below the horizon.
A strand of his hair is the first thing you feel as he draws closer. It ghosts along your cheekbone and catches the breath in your throat, only for a second though. Your eyes flit upwards, your chin lifts and turns ever so slightly towards him. You soften, to say yes. To say please. And it's all he needs.
His kiss is the opposite of what you expected. It's warm, and gentle.
It's a passion like you've never known.
There's this expectation, with passion, that the intensity should feel like a bolt of lighting or a supernova. Tension builds and builds and it's supposed to break. And sure, it's breaks, but so does the day over the darkness.
If the sun can pour dawn over the horizon, giving a gentle wake to the earth with rosy hues and still remain as powerful, who's to say something as good and inevitable surging through you at the speed of light has to explode. Why couldn't it fill you to the brim and stay full, keeping you bathed in a vivid sunrise.
Everything about him has been severe and guarded, until now. For the first time, while feeling the tenderness of his kiss, you consider that he hadn't built his walls so high because he wanted to keep others out but to keep himself in. You take note that his open palms are still on the counter. His hands were used for so much destruction, perhaps he didn't feel right putting them on you.
Your younger self would have resented his restraint. You would've goaded, chastised, pushed him away until he could meet you with a power you deserved. Why shouldn't he? You can take it; the fingertips sinking into you skin, storm-coloured bruises levied from fun, the gentle ache that pulses through your back from being pinned rough against a wall.
But you’re tired. Exhausted, even. Drained from tensing and flexing and always having to show every ounce of strength. Always a solider, silent and stoic. Always with a job to do. But maybe here, you were just a person.
He pulls away after several moments, still close enough for his breath to graze your lips. You don't look for his eyes because you know he won't meet you there. His tongue peaks out for half a second and he releases a breath before he lifts his head. The gentle warmth of his kiss lingers and emanates.
There's something inside you clawing to get out. A confession, maybe, or a sigh of relief. Or a declaration that you don’t deserve anything as good as what just happened. Whatever it is, it cuts through the air in a haggard little breath.
Sleep deprivation hangs like a thick chain around your neck, your hands are still numb with the lives you ended, you’re filled with an overwhelming warmth that you don’t feel worthy of. It all hits. Every fibre of you aches with the impact.
Bucky turns to steady you before you slouch against the counter.
Maybe he didn’t have to kill for you to make you feel okay. Because more than you could ever know, he gets it. He’s felt it, lived and bled it. All the shame and fleeting doses of heroism that make it all seem justified.
He holds you close. You bury your face in his shoulder with breath heavy and conflicted. His fingers curl against the base of your neck and his arm tightens around your waist, his sure breath is hot above your ear, his heartbeat loud in his chest.
His body say it so his words don’t have to:
I know.
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omegaremix · 4 months
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Omega Radio for January 14, 2017; #130.
Jay Reatard “Oh It’s Such A Shame”
Yucky Duster “Paul Revere”
King Khan & The BBQ Show “Love You So”
Elvis Depressedly “Okay”
Kindling “Black Eye”
Mary Lynn Gloeckle “Space”
Diamond Guts “The Worst Kind Of News”
K9 Sniffles “Donovan’s”
Gland “Cram It”
Courtneys, The “Silver Velvet”
Japandroids “No Known Drink Or Drug”
Connections “Kate”
Pill “Medicine”
Sonic Death “Gotika”
Beth Israel “Springtime”
Thirty Silver “Burn”
Guilloteenagers, The “Books Endorsed By Kirk Cameron”
Cende “Widow”
Deformity “Nausea”
Shock Cinema “Breathe Again”
Warm Bodies “Psychic Connection, The”
Bombshells, The “No More”
Ivy “Head Buisness”
Heartless Magnus “Mass Prolapse”
Vanity “Don’t Be Shy”
Tough Tits “Hairless”
Dope Body “Leather Head”
Big Heet “Conversation Paranoia” (demo)
Frustrations “Confusion Kills”
JJ Doll “She’s Onto You”
Miss Destiny “The One”
Super Unison “Broken”
Dame “Hostage”
Deluxe garage, post-punk, d.i.y., and punk.
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dearestdaffodils · 2 months
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Playlist Masterlist PT.3
These are listed from oldest to newest
Driving with the Sturniolo Triplets
Athena, goddess of wisdom, war, and strategy
Matt Murdock
Dagger Squad
Jake "Hangman" Seresin
Nick "Goose" Bradshaw
Pre-serum Steve Rogers
Wednesday Addams
Tangerine
Ted Lasso's Mixtape
POV: you're dating Remus Lupin
Jacaerys Velaryon
POV: dating Jacaerys Velaryon
Modern Jacaerys Velaryon
How To Train Your Dragon
Gravity Falls
Dipper Pines
Mabel Pines
Hiccup Haddock
JJ Maybank
John B. Routledge
Pope Heyward
Sarah Cameron
The Pogues gave me the aux
Top Gun summer
Mickey "Fanboy" Garcia
You made me do too much labor
Daisy Jones & The Six
Merlin
Arthur Pendragon
Jamie Tartt
Sam Obisanya
Roy Kent
Dani Rojas
AFC Richmond's karaoke songs
Lord of The Rings
Geralt of Rivia
Getting railed by Jake Kiszka
Jake Kiszka
POV: dating Jake Kiszka
Running through a field with Jake
Heartbreak High
Spencer "Spider" White
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maybanksbabe · 11 months
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this is a pretty random idea but oh well
JJ’s gf having a bipolar music taste to say the least
like she listens to Lana Del Rey, Mitski, Faye Webster, Phoebe Ridgers, etc. but also listens to Slipknot, Deftones, Black Sabbath, Ghost, etc. but ALSO listens to The Weeknd, Chase Atlantic, Rihanna, Arctic Monkeys, The Neighborhood, etc.
like a very mixed music taste
idk but I feel like it’s cute because JJ would never know what to expect to hear every time he’s in your car or chilling in your room
and it also causes him to diversify his music taste and you guys get to a point where you’re sharing earbuds and making mixtapes/playlists for each other <33
I feel this as an eclectic music girlie and he'd love to hear new music!!
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chanyoungies · 5 months
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hi 👀 i was the kpop album anon. if ur willing to share i would love to see/hear about ur list! i love when people talk about their albums/interests/etc!
HIIIIIIIIIIIIIII hehe <3 this is going to be a bit long i'm sorry in advance ... but I started buying kpop albums in like. my last year of middle school maybe?? back when i was still living in belgium (and those are still at my parents' house with my later purchases when we moved to spain). so i don't have my full collection here!! i'll still mention the full one just bc i can and bc some of my personal favourites are back there and not with me rn, but!!
my criteria for buying albums changed a lot with time i think!! nowadays i mainly buy albums if i really like the way it looks (the packaging) and/or when i know i will enjoy the photobook (mostly if i really loved the concept pics for a given version!) . or if i Really want some of the inclusions (i'm currently debating buying the upcoming nmixx album because im absolutely in love with the silly little fluffy keychain guy that comes with the ? limited edition i think...) . i used to often buy any album of a group i was REALLY into (and thus my skz collection despite not really being into their music as much anymore, for example), though, or albums that i really liked from a musical standpoint (which is why i am...the owner of a jay park album....................,)
what's also interesting to mention is that before i ever started buying kpop albums i WAS buying jpop albums, actually!! my collection of those isn't as huge (in part bc they're way more expensive, and in part because i pretty much stopped getting those soon after getting into kpop). so. if u'll allow me. i'll add these to this post as well.... they're still v important to me </3
back at my parents', i have!! :
jay park, everything you wanted
4minute, act. 7
monsta x, shine forever
ioi, miss me?
bts, young forever
got7, flight log: departure
got7, flight log: turbulence
monsta x, the clan pt. 1 // lost ver.
monsta x, the clan pt. 2 // guilty ver.
wanna one, 1-1=0 (nothing without you)
seventeen, boys be // both versions
seventeen, love&letter repackage
seventeen, going seventeen // all 3 versions
seventeen, al1 // all [13] ver. (i think?? honestly can't remember)
seventeen, director's cut
jj project, verse 2
day6, moonrise
gfriend, snowflake
astro, summer vibes
astro, autumn story
pristin, hi! pristin // prismatic ver.
lovelyz, a new trilogy
taeyeon, my voice // deluxe edition
bts, wings // can't remember the version i won't even try
ailee, a new empire
day6, the day
day6, daydream
oh my girl, windy day
shinee, 1 and 1
bts, youth
day6, youth pt. 1 (shoot me)
nct dream, we young
nct dream, we go up
nct 127, regular-irregular // can't remember the ver. either
and these japanese albums!! :
chico with honeyworks, sekai wa i ni michiteiru
shuuen no shiori project, re:act
q'ulle, q'ulle and answer (q&a)
q'ulle, unreal / hope
undead (from ensemble stars), vol. 1
last note., mikagura gakuen kamikyoku
honeyworks, suki ni naru sono shunkan wo
honeyworks, boku jya dame desu ka?
akb48, 0 to 1 no aida // complete singles, limited edition
as for my collection here!! :
skz, i am you // you ver.
skz, i am not // not ver.
skz, i am who // i am ver.
skz, clé 1: miroh // miroh ver.
skz, clé 2: yellow wood // clé 2 ver.
skz, mixtape
victon, nostalgia // algos ver.
skz, clé: levanter // clé ver.
skz, go live // possibly limited ver. ?? can't remember
skz, in life // limited ver.
tbz, reveal // wolf ver.
tbz, chase // trick ver.
ace, hjzm
han seungwoo, fame // seung ver.
cravity, season 2. hideout: the new day we step into // ver. 3 (i think?? forest fairy princes ver.)
victon, voice: the future is now // the future & now ver.
cravity, season 3. hideout: be our voice // ver. 1
enhypen, border: carnival // hype ver.
txt, the dream chapter: magic // arcadia ver.
txt, the dream chapter: eternity // starboard & port ver.
txt, the chaos chapter: freeze // world, you & boy ver.
skz, noeasy // limiter ver.
enhypen, dimension: dilemma // scylla & odysseus ver.
itzy, crazy in love // special edition, photobook ver.
wei, identity: action // ocean ver.
kingdom, history of kingdom pt. 1: arthur
kingdom, history of kingdom pt. 2: chiwoo
seventeen, fml // deluxe ver.
enhypen, sadame // type a
&team, first howling: we // type b
enhypen, dark blood // half ver.
zerobaseone, youth in the shade // shade ver.
jini, an iron hand in a velvet glove // iron hand ver.
as well as a few photobooks:
skz, stay in london
skz, stay in playground
cravity, league of the universe (one of my most prized possessions fr)
and a few albums that i stole got from my best friend:
enoi, red in the apple
enoi, w.a.y
tbz, bloom bloom
hotshot, early flowering
e'last, day dream // dream ver.
now i wanna be a little annoying and talk about them sorry . first of all, currently on display are these: (as well as my cravity photobook and one of my victon the future is now albums on other shelves).
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unsure how to talk about every album individually without being super annoying so. being annoying will have to do. but soooo . starting with what i have Here at my place.
my entire skz collection is currently in a box, but i am you was my first album purchase after i moved here, from my trusty kpop store (musica i love u). i really, really love the way its cover looks!!! most skz photobooks are varying from boring to ugly (so do the packagings, since go live)(it all started going downhill with god's menu i'm sorry to be saying this but it's true), but i quite like this one and the levanter one!!! and the mixtape album is also cute in a way!
i also really like the nostalgia album (and so does my mom, btw, which i can't say about most of my photobooks sadly). the way the box is cut also made it perfect to help me display one postcard at a time on my display shelf for a while lol also i really love this album from a musical standpoint! i remember looping it a lot in my compsci labs . . . the other two victon albums i pre-ordered after seeing the concept pictures . . . they were princes for me..... if there's one thing you have to know about me it's that i will always be insane about a prince/royalty/knight concept. also they had like pc-sized little ?? mirrors?? idk but that's rlly cute it's hanging off my bookshelf rn. and i really like my fame album as well because....well i like swoo. and the photocards were really cute!!!!
the ace album i absolutely LOVE from a visual standpoint it's SO pretty (my mom doesn't understand its beauty sadly). it's so pretty it will always be on display idc i love it... it's also very thin and while that's sad (i could take 238472983749823 more of those pictures) it also helps it maintain a very . . . . fancy look i think
the forest fairy concept for the cravity s2 album that i got is close enough to the royalty concept and thus it was SO for me... it rlly reminds me of lovelyz's a new trilogy photobook and that's been my favourite photobook (that i had) for a LONG long long time like.... i really love is SO much. and this vity one really compares to it i love it just as much!!! and thus i had to have it. well, that, and also i have had this album looped for like most of the year it came out in? like i listened to it an abnormal amount. like. a worrying amount. season 3 i pre-ordered and i'm not as satisfied with it visually (i don't rlly like it to be honest) but it has call my name and thus i had to have it also. i've been Obsessed with call my name since the prologue video for this album was released and That is why i pre-ordered it despite not liking any concept pictures it was just THAT important... call my name i love you
border: carnival!!! this one is very important to me on a personal level... both visually and musically. drunk-dazed is still so insane i still don't know what kind of drug they put in it but dear god. and i love mixed up a whole lot too... visually, the box is really pretty despite being simple like. it just fits anywhere really. makes a little statement... there's like. not MUCH to it but it's not ugly like most skz boxes these days, for example. and the photobook is so......important to me i love it so bad i don't get bored of it ever. i just love this concept so much... (surprisingly way more than the prince concept, which u might or might not have noticed... i have Not bought. i didn't like it as much. the One prince concept that i didn't rlly vibe with as much). the scylla ver. of dimension: dilemma is much more my style!! and thus. i really love that one a lot as well <3 odysseus ver. i don't like as much unfortunately but that was a gamble on my part in the first place (i mostly just trusted the blurred gradients on the album preview pictures for this one bc it looked pretty. and well. sunset colours wise it still does. the concept itself just doesn't do it for me). one thing about enhypen is that when they decide to have beautiful photbooks, they WILL have BEAUTIFUL photobooks. the half ver of dark blood i so absolutely beautiful . the other thing you need to know about me is that i go insane about water shots (in water photoshoots and like .... pool scenes in mvs like. txt run away or &team under the skin). this one was just so for me it's insane. also the outer cover for this one is a really beautiful colour it's like... navy... it's so pretty . additional fact is that the group photocards from enhypen albums are some of my fave photocards they're so cute
one thing about hybe is they will release albums that i will want to own. as you could see on my list one day i just went on a full txt spree like i went absolutely insane at the store like idk what possessed me but... i mean i don't regret it. i love these albums to my core. for tdc: magic, it's about the photobook - first of all the photobook is in the format of like. a spiral notebook abt i find that SO cute (and also practical in a way)(although i would hate if that was the default for photobooks, just to be clear). but like . it's just. idk how to describe it... it's Magical?? the darkness the glitter it's so...beautiful.... i love it so much.... the eternity ones are like. little diaries and that's ABSOLUTELY adorable??? i mostly like the version with the.... magical lullaby concept as i like to call it (there's beds there's stars there's . purple and there's . vibes), but since the diary idea is so cute i kinda just caved in and got both... and then comes freeze which i think i preordered? all three versions because all the concept pictures were just so good. and i don't regret this choice at all even today i don't know which version i would choose if i could buy only one. these photobooks are absolutely. beautiful...
my tbz reveal album is one of my fave albums actually!!! i love it a lot musically, but i love it just as much aesthetically... it kinda looks... like a fancy book?? which is just so cool and it's really nice to the touch also (under the initial outer box)... and another one of the VERY rare photobooks that my mom likes. i was honestly surprised at how much she actually liked this one sdkjjksdbk she got out her phone n all... but that's valid it's a really nice photobook. the chase one i like way less, but it's quite different? quite creative i would say!! and i really liked the concept for this version (no regrets once again) !! the chanhee postcard i got from it has always been on display on my shelf he's watching over me (<- insane woman speaking)
my itzy album!!!! bought it a while after it released so i already knew i LOVED the album musically i think i like every single song on it to a degree?? and it turned out to be SO pretty as well... i had an amazing time looking through it after i got home (i stopped by the store minutes before it closed after hanging out with uni friends in the area bc i happened to check my email and see that i could pick my order up kjndkjbdwnjws) not only the photos/concept themselves but just. the entire design of this photobook is so nice it's almost shocking it's coming from jype i was sitting like wtf jype u CAN make pretty albums??? insane. i also love the photocards i got from it!!
wei's identity: action album is another important one... those are my fancy little guys!!! the inclusions were really cute and i really like ... well wei in general, but also bye bye bye is SO good and i like the rest of this album a fair amount, and. most importantly. fancy concept. for me. great. so for me. SO for me.... <3 meanwhile the kingdom albums were a bit more of a caprice because i was getting into kingdom at the time. they're a little... clumsy, i'd say, in the way they're...designed?? but they remain really nice mainly because that's just. a big royalty concept . for me . FOR ME ... once again, not a purchase that i regret!!
it's surprising that fml is the first svt album that i bought since i moved, but what's even more surprising is . the reason i bought it. it's quite embarrassing actually . i was seeing the previews for the deluxe ver. and i noticed that there was . a set of photocards IN the super mv (2nd half) outfits which meant. jeonghan with that hairpin . and once i processed that information my hands acted on their own . um,
<my jini album3 i love jini's album so so so so much... she was my favourite in nmixx back when she was still a member n honestly the only one i rlly knew like. i knew a few of the other members' names but cldn't always recognize their faces n stuff . but my jini ... that's my performer daughter.... she's such a talented performer it's insane. and i was quite worried about her solo debut because... that's easy to screw up ESPECIALLY when expectations are high and. mine couldn't be anything but high because i do think she's insanely talented, and because the title of this album invokes such a strong imagery... and in the biggest plot twist of the year she even exceeded my expectations and released an album that was so for me. i love all the songs SO much i don't think words are enough to express how much i love this album... and when i looked at the concept pictures (a bit after the album was released, actually), i decided i really wanted to buy it... honestly i wanted both versions but i couldn't justify buying both, financially, at the time so.... i'm still waiting for an occasion to buy the pink version <//3 but i am very happy with the version i have as well!!! very proud to have it. and if you haven't checked my jini out yet, you should!!!!!
and finally. i actually didn't think i would buy the zb1 album - i don't really like it musically. i can't remember the exact reason i decided to buy it after all, maybe it was because i DID like the shade ver concept pictures quite a lot? but either way i'm SO glad to have bought it because.... i think it's currently my favourite physical album that i own... it's absolutely gorgeous. in every single way. in its entirety. it's just. beautiful. i encourage you to watch an unboxing video of it or smth because it's . genuinely so beautiful.
my sadame album was actually one that my aunt bought for me because i saw it in a bookstore we went to together and thought rlly hard about whether i wanted it or not.... i was mostly looking forward to the photocard but i got The One Photocard i absolutly did not want . but oh well. meanwhile!! my moonrise album was actually a gift i got from my best friend back in brussels!! which was really cute of her it was SO cute :< we also bought our al1 albums together <3 kissie for aly!! and as for the five albums i got from my bestie... she's been holding them for me for YEARS kkjsdjkndcb but i finally flew over to the states to see her this summer and she somehow managed to cram them into my luggage as i was leaving... and im so vewy grateful for these because i lob them all... i didn't even know that she had a hotshot album to give me but it's an album that i really love (musically) and turns out it's SO pretty also??? it looks quite book-ish, similar to tbz reveal (amd theyre both red also...) which i really love!
another photobook that i REALLY love is the one from my taeyeon's my voice album!! it's beautiful i love flowery concepts... (also really love that album musically a whole lot). was my favourite for a long time visually alongside the lovelyz's one that i mentioned earlier!
musically, got7's turbulence was my favourite album for quite a while, actually... i don't think i can say it and mean it nowadays anymore, but back when it was a relatively new album it was one that i really loved listening to.
other stories include. me constantly forgetting that i own a shinee album. the fact that i managed to own the pristin album (bought it at a convention) but they didn't have the version i wanted (elastin) anymore and i still really want that version... hopefully i can get it one day. not that i dislike this one i'm just glad i have something to remind me they were real..... the fact that i own a jay park album because at one point in my life i was going to kpop dance classes and everyone really liked his music and i started rlly vibing with it for a while to the point of buying. this album. and me hunting for gfriend's snowflake for a long while before i finally managed to buy it (kpop stores in brussels are very. different from the ones in paris. it was not an easy feat)
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airesgay · 2 years
Text
Feelings 101
Chapter 27: the one the morning (and days) after
Relationship: Jennifer jareau/emily prentiss
Summary: the friends au where they all work at NYU, and Emily and JJ find themselves reconnecting after 17 years. There are also mixtapes.
Chapter summary:  The morning after the night before, Emily and JJ bask in a moment of peace. And continue to do so, as long as their little bubble remains.
Chapter word count: 6, 837 
Songs:
Just Like Heaven - Piano Dreams (The Cure cover)
Landslide (Arr. for piano) - Christopher Somas (Fleetwood Mac cover) *I hope this part didn't feel out of place, it was hard to find the best moment for it, but it was important for me to make it fit.
read it on ao3
It was still dark when Emily woke up - which was very disconcerting; because on checking the bedside clock it wasn’t the middle of the night, the clear green digits denoting 6.07am. But was she exhausted.
Or was she? No, Emily’s body felt heavy and languid in a way that she wasn’t sure it had ever felt, in a way that was pleasant.
Her mind felt foggy for a few moments as she tried to blink away the last remnants of sleep, but on anticipating her usual headache she was left with… nothing. Her head was clear, and calm. Everything was still. Peaceful. Content.
It all made sense when Emily turned over to see JJ laying beside her, on her front, sheet falling at the small of her back to display strong shoulders, golden hair a mess over it, her arms folded under the pillow her head rested on. Her breathing was soft and shallow, eyes closed but the smallest of smiles gracing her lips, like she was lost in the most wonderful dream.
Emily had her own smile, heart threatening to break out of her chest as she leaned forward to place the gentlest kiss on her forehead. She decided JJ could live in that dream a little while longer.
* * *
JJ was awoken by the distant sounds of clattering pans and muffled swearing. This was more familiar than the grey sheets she found herself blinking down at. The material became less blurry with each blink, and a gentle touch confirmed that it was indeed silk. A smile pulled at JJ’s lip as she continued to trace along the fabric, memories of last night rushing back to her.
She remembered the feel of the sheets beneath her skin as Emily had pulled her down onto them, laughing into her neck. She remembered any thoughts of the sheets then evaporating as Emily pulled her jumper over her head, and JJ’s hands mapped newly exposed skin, softer than any silk sheets. Her eyes had followed the path of her hand, watching as goose bumps rose along her arms, her collarbone, her chest. And then her gaze returned to deep brown eyes, stricken by the hesitancy in them. She instantly retreated.
“Hey,” she’d said, voice barely above a whisper. “Are you okay? We don’t have to do anything you’re not ready for.”
The rush in which Emily’s response tumbled out was achingly sweet.
“I want to,” she insisted, and seemed to inwardly curse herself when she realised the desperation in them. “I’m ready, it’s just…”
JJ frowned and shifted closer, her still jean-clad thighs brushing against Emily’s. “What is it?”
Emily had looked uncertain still, but a squeeze of JJ’s hand seemed to give her the courage she needed. Or maybe it was more of a reminder, that the person she was with wasn’t just anyone, wasn’t even a perfectly nice woman that she enjoyed the company of and wanted so much to like.
This was JJ. Who was looking at her with the kind of affection she’d long since dared to dream of. She knew in that moment she could tell JJ anything. Everything.
And maybe one day she would.
“I’ve… there are some… scars, from the accident, in Italy.”
And JJ nodded, taking in her words, and her thumb continued to smooth over the front of Emily’s hand.
“Okay.”
Emily’s face crumpled into a smile of such relief and joy, tears started to brim at her eyes. And with another nod of confirmation, JJ unbuttoned Emily’s jeans, drew them down over her legs. Emily’s breath caught as gentle fingers traced over the scars across her stomach, smoothing over them.
And then JJ looked back up at her, and said she was beautiful, and they fell into one another completely.
Cherishing the memory, JJ let the smile tugging at her lips grow, until it felt like her face would break.
Another stream of expletives from beyond the door brought JJ back to the present. She didn’t let her smile drop as she all but flung the covers off, threw on the first thing in reach, and padded through to the hall.
There she found Emily, running one hand under cold water while the other swatted Sergio away from the frying pan - that which currently housed a collection of questionably shaped pancakes.
“If you burn your tongue off I’m not paying for the vet bill!” she hissed at the cat, who just sent her an unfazed look, as if to say yeah right.
He was just dipping his head lower towards one of the better shaped pancakes when he somehow sensed JJ’s presence in the doorway. He cocked his head, letting the paw that had been approaching the pan drop. JJ put a finger to her lips, requesting his silence as she tiptoed forward.
Emily was still muttering away to herself in frustration, washing her hands of pancake mixture. She froze instantly when she felt a strong pair of arms wrap around her waist.
“Morning,” JJ smiled into her neck, almost able to feel the goose bumps that rose in response.
“You’re not meant to be up yet,” Emily sighed, with a hint of irritation, but unable to hide the delight she felt whenever JJ was close.
JJ laughed. “Oh well my apologies. Shall I just go back?”
She lingered, breath ghosting over Emily’s neck and across her shoulder, the black robe she was wearing easily slipping down to expose it. She didn’t last long with her teasing, leaning down to kiss the skin there. Emily’s entire body seemed to flush in response, including her cheeks, which JJ moved up to kiss next.
“No…” Emily let out, presumably because she was unable to say much else.
JJ smirked, feeling triumphant as she finally leaned back - but not before one final squeeze of the older woman’s hips.
“What’s all this then?” she asked, hopping up onto the counter beside her.
She’d thrown on a pair of Emily’s plaid pyjama shorts and her old Colombia hoodie. Emily seemed lost in a trance as she let her eyes run over her.
“What?” JJ queried, perfectly aware of the effect she was having.
Emily blinked and snapped out of her daze.
“I wouldn’t let anyone at work see you wearing that,” she retorted, trying to regain some resemblance of composure.
JJ laughed, looking down at the hoodie. “It’s your hoodie,” she pointed out.
“Yeah, because I went there. Besides, I don’t advertise the fact that I went to our rival school. Learned that in a hurry after our first football game.”
JJ snorted. “Got it.”
A coy smile crept onto her face as she leaned back further, kicking her bare legs out and watching the way Emily’s eyes followed.
“Well don’t worry, I don’t plan on letting anyone else see me in this.”
Her eyes somehow called Emily back, their gazes meeting. Just after they did, JJ’s eyes drifted down to her lips.
“Just you,” she added.
Emily looked breathless, and once again JJ felt victorious. Before she could catch it again, JJ nodded towards the pan still sizzling on the hob.
“So… what you cooking?”
Emily returned, looking dazed. She grimaced as she looked back at the pan.
“Trying to make pancakes.”
JJ smiled. “That’s so sweet.”
JJ hopped down off the counter and made her way towards the hob. She leaned in, experimentally dipping her finger into the bowl of mixture beside it. She took her time sucking off the sweetness from her forefinger, watching Emily go slack jawed yet again.
“All this for me?” JJ asked, voice all too sweet for what the words implied.
Whatever breaking point Emily had, JJ seemed to have found it, Emily letting out a breathy laugh and a “come here,” which JJ happily obeyed. Emily reached out as she stepped towards her, catching her hand and drawing her in. JJ’s eyes fluttered up at her, and Emily took a moment to take her in. She felt her heart swell, as she tucked a strand of blonde hair behind her ear, letting her hand linger after, cupping her cheek.
“What?” JJ asked, smile curving her lip.
Emily didn’t hesitate before answering.
“I just can’t believe you’re real. That this is real.”
She let her hand trail down JJ’s arm, sending shivers along her skin, until she laced their hands together.
JJ smiled down at them, and back up to meet her eyes. “You want me to pinch you? So you’re sure it’s not a dream?”
A hearty laugh escaped Emily’s lips as she clasped her hands behind JJ’s back, tugging her closer. “You’re insatiable.”
JJ’s eyes gleamed, her breath hot on Emily’s face. “Only for you.”
Emily finally leaned in and captured her lips, both of them melting into the kiss like it was the only place they wanted to be. Emily’s hand trailed up to the back of JJ’s head, grasping her hair and pulling her closer still. JJ followed willingly, surging forward with so much force Emily found herself stumbling backwards. They laughed into each other as Emily’s back connected with the cabinets, JJ falling into her. Neither woman was concerned with stopping, and JJ was one step away from pushing Emily back onto the counter and climbing into her lap when a meow broke them apart.
“Sergio, I swear - ”
Emily’s scolding was cut short when she saw Sergio was sitting beside the hob - where the pancake mix was sizzling out of control.
“Fuck.”
JJ felt a flutter at how, even in a panic, Emily was so gentle in the way she drew her back with hands on her hips.
“Well that was a disaster,” Emily grumbled, shifting the burnt mixture around in the pan.
JJ watched her with a fond smile. “Don’t say that.”
Emily laughed, and beckoned JJ over to see. “Look.”
JJ leaned in, frowning down at the mess of singed shapes in the pan.
“You made a love heart,” she decided, beaming up at Emily.
Emily breathed out a laugh, and leaned down to set a kiss atop JJ’s head.
“You’re very sweet, but a terrible liar.”
JJ just smiled, and reached across the counter for the spatula. Emily raised a brow as she proceeded to scrape the malformed pancake off the pan, and deposited it in her mouth. She did well to keep the smile on her face as she chewed through the charred mixture.
“Perfect,” she relayed after, though a grimace surfaced as she swallowed.
Emily laughed, but a part of her couldn’t help but marvel at the idea; that JJ was willing to accept Emily’s beaten and damaged heart no matter what fires it had endured.
As sweet as JJ’s gesture was, they opted to respectfully dispose of the rest of the burnt pancakes, Emily pouring herself a bowl of Lucky Charms, and JJ cutting slices of banana onto some toast. Emily smiled as she watched her, wondering if she should get some more healthy breakfast options in for next time. The thought of a next time made her heart leap.
The sun had not long risen, a pink tinge still gracing the sky as the city began to rouse. Both women would have loved nothing more than to revel in it, this almost impossible feeling of bliss they found in each other, of starting their day well and truly together with no restrictions. If it wasn’t for having to get back to the apartment, where Penelope would soon be waking, JJ was tempted to take another day off work. And Emily would have been powerless to stop her.
Still, they were adults, and had responsibilities to attend to; these were the facts that Emily reminded herself of as she walked back out into the hall after her shower, toweling off her hair. Well, it had ended up being a shared shower, but JJ had left first to dry off her hair.
Emily found her now sitting at the piano bathed in golden light as the sun continued to rise. Her hands tapped lightly at the keys, and Emily realised what she was trying to play.
JJ didn’t even flinch when Emily drew her hair back over her shoulder, placing a gentle kiss at her neck – like she’d already sensed her presence.
She watched as Emily then took a seat next to her.
“You were almost there,” Emily noted, nodding down to the keys.
JJ just smiled, shifting closer to rest her head against Emily’s shoulder.
“This is definitely an upgrade from the last time I woke up here,” JJ murmured, recalling the morning after Emily’s nightmare.
Emily had a small smile. “Yeah.”
She didn’t voice how it’d be an upgrade still, to wake up in JJ’s arms and be able to stay there, without anything calling them away. Something told her JJ was thinking the same thing, but she just leaned further into her.
“Play it for me one more time?” she asked.
And Emily wasn’t going to refuse.
* * *
“I hear someone got lucky last night.”
Tara had a sly smile on her face as she approached their table, setting her tray down.
JJ nearly choked on her tea. “W-what?”
Tara quirked a brow. “Your roommate? I caught her falling asleep at her post this morning. Looked like she’d been dragged in backwards off the side of a subway car.”
JJ gave what she hoped didn’t sound too much like a relieved laugh. “Isn’t that a vivid image.”
Tara took a sip from her coffee before continuing. “Didn’t you see her this morning?”
The cold weather had called them inside for lunch, and JJ found herself longing for fresh air, something about the space inside making her feel cornered. She plastered on a smile, summoning what she hoped was a casual sounding laugh.
“No, I left before she got up. Didn’t want to wake her.”
This was technically not a lie. JJ had made it back from Emily’s just in time to get changed for work before Penelope rolled out of bed. The only way she knew she was home was the sound of snoring emitting from her room. God knows what time she’d gotten home at; but at least it allowed JJ to pretend she’d been home all night, tucked up in her own bed, not wrapped up in someone else’s sheets.
“Well, it’s a miracle she made it out of bed without you having to drag her.”
JJ nodded along, smiling as she picked at her salad.
“She can’t keep up this rouse forever.” Tara shook her head. “I’ll get the sordid details out of her in no time. Anyway, how’s Emily?”
JJ started choking on a tomato.
“Wow, you okay?”
Tara reached over to thwack her on the back, JJ coughing as the tomato eventually fell out her mouth.
“Fine,” JJ croaked out, “Just eating too fast.”
Tara leaned back, but held a cautious gaze on her. “We don’t need you choking on your salad the day after you’re back. So, Emily? Is she feeling better too?”
JJ attempted to straighten herself up in her seat, smoothing down her dress pants. “Yeah, just some little bug. All fine now.”
“Well thank god for that. I’m surprised I didn’t catch it, after faking food poisoning to get out of covering McCarthy’s class. Must have good karma.”
JJ laughed uneasily. “Yeah, you must.”
JJ, as it turned out, did not have good karma.
* * *
Emily followed the sounds of coughing and sneezing, pausing for a second before letting the door creak open.
“JJ?”
She was presented with the image of a tissue-strewn desk, from which a sneeze came a moment later. A handful of tissues then went flying into the air as a blonde head snapped up. JJ’s eyes were red and puffy - to match her nose - and her whole face seemed to leak when she managed a weak smile.
“Hey, did you bring me lunch?”
Her voice was rough and made Emily want to chug a pint of water herself.
“No,” she replied, cautious, as she took a step inside and closed the door.
“Oh,” JJ deflated further, if that were possible. “Well that’s okay, I’ll be down in a second, I just need to - ”
A horrendous sneeze tore through the air, and JJ took a moment to get her bearings. Emily gave a small smile as she approached the desk. She reached out and placed her hand over JJ’s, which was drifting back to her laptop. Emily slowly closed the lid, rubbing her thumb gently over JJ’s hand.
“How about I take you home instead?”
JJ offered her a fond smile, squeezing her hand back. “I appreciate the concern, but I’m fine, and I have three more students to see this afternoon, I can’t just leave them.”
“I’m sure they can hold off until tomorrow. And I’m sure they’ll appreciate not being sneezed on.”
“I won’t - ” Whatever JJ’s argument was going to be, it was cut short by a swift sneeze.
Emily arched a brow.
JJ smiled up at her. “Are you going to make me soup?”
Emily shook her head as she rounded the desk. “No, don’t worry, I’ll pick some up at the store.”
A croaky laugh bubbled up and out of JJ. Emily gently pulled her away even as she tried to collect a series of files.
“Hey, no work for you. Come on, I’m taking you home.”
“Just let me - ”
“JJ,” Emily said, voice stern yet soft as she tipped her chin up to face her. “Let me take care of you, please?”
JJ tilted her head to meet her eyes. “Tomato with chili flakes?”
Emily smiled, pulling JJ towards her.
* * *
“When you said you were going to take care of me, this wasn’t what I was expecting.”
“I’m trying really hard not to yell at a sick person right now, so I would watch it.”
JJ laughed, which soon turned into a coughing fit. And Emily, who had been cleaning spilled tomato soup with chili flakes off the floor, still rushed over to hand her a glass of water.
JJ gave a relieved sigh as she swallowed. “I’m sorry. I’m very grateful to have you here looking after me.”
Emily couldn’t resist granting her a smile. “I’m very glad to be here looking after you.”
She placed a kiss on her cheek before leaning back and readjusting the blanket across her body. She’d had a fever, but still reached for the blanket when Emily had led her to the couch once they’d arrived. Emily had let her, and moved to crack open the window. She could see the goose bumps rise across her arms as the chill seeped in, but JJ’s face relaxed, and she felt the chill lessen.
When she looked back over she saw JJ’s chin tucked down towards her chest, concentrating on something below her. It took a moment for her to figure out what she was doing.
“JJ,” she said.
“What?” The woman jolted and her head snapped back up, feigning innocence.
Emily cocked a brow. “You’re not sending emails are you?”
“….No.”
Emily sighed, with a smile, as she approached the couch. She held out her hand.
“Phone,” she requested.
JJ protested. “I just have one more to send, I need to let Dana know that - ”
“I’m sure whatever it is can wait until tomorrow,” Emily assured, “The office knows you’re out, they can handle anything until then.”
JJ leveled her with the hardest stare she could manage, but it was hindered somewhat by bleary eyes and a runny nose. A second later she retrieved her phone from beneath the blanket and handed it over.
“Thank you,” Emily said, “Now, is there anything else you need?”
JJ grumbled, trying to get herself comfortable on the couch.
“Tea?” Emily tried.
JJ shook her head. She was facing the inside of the couch now. Her words were muffled when she spoke.
“What?”
“I want you to play for me.”
Emily laughed. “Well that’s gonna be hard here, you have a piano hiding somewhere?”
JJ slowly rolled over to face her.
“I’m sure some cat cuddles would make me feel better too.”
She was one step away from batting her eyelashes.
Emily huffed. “I can give you cuddles.”
JJ snorted, but Emily didn’t pull away when she reached for her hand.
“I want to hear you play.”
Emily sighed. She wondered if there’d ever come a day where she could say no to JJ.
* * *
It was true that JJ wanted Emily to play the piano for her. But what she didn’t admit was that, over the course of the past few weeks, Emily’s apartment had started to feel more and more like home – almost more so than her own apartment. Any observer could see that purely in terms of aesthetic.
This seemed ludicrous; JJ’s apartment held far more colour and warmth, practically the epitome of coziness, while Emily’s remained rather stark and monochrome. Still, in the weeks JJ had been spending there, a small shift had started to occur; splashes of colour where JJ had left behind a jumper or a scarf, an array of herbal teas now stocked in the kitchen cabinet, an assortment of pink and blue creams and lotions. Neither woman raised attention to this occurrence, both happy to let things play out at their natural course. It was also true that they were scared to tempt fate, like giving it a name would cut the dream short.
“Favourite city?”
Emily pursed her lips as she pondered this.
“Well that really depends on what you’re in the mood for.”
JJ rolled her eyes. Only Emily Prentiss would have a city for every mood.
“Examples?”
Emily raised her gaze to the ceiling as she reached for the freshly boiled kettle.
“Prague for architecture, Rome for food, Vienna for music, Paris for Art - ”
JJ cut her off before the list could continue. “I always wanted to go to Paris.”
Emily looked over her shoulder as she poured, steam curling into the air. JJ was tucked under her own aquamarine blanket on Emily’s couch, a far off look on her face. Emily had a fond smile as she turned back to their drinks. It hadn’t gone unnoticed that JJ’s mug of choice at her apartment was always the Paris one.
“Yeah?” She sensed there was more to the statement, something lingering behind JJ’s eyes.
She set to finish making their drinks, letting a silence settle, giving JJ the space to talk - or not. When she returned to sit beside her on the couch, placing their mugs on the coffee table, JJ shifted, pulling her blanket closer to her chin, as if for comfort.
Emily sipped at her coffee, ready to listen.
“We always said we’d go together,” JJ recalled. She caught herself, laughing lightly. “Well – I said we’d go together. I don’t think Roz was so keen to go on a European vacation with her little sister.”
Emily’s face softened as she watched JJ reminisce about her older sister.
“I don’t blame her honestly,” JJ continued, “I wouldn’t shut up about it, all the galleries we’d visit, shops we’d go to, although if I remember correctly it was mostly about the food.”
“The frog’s legs are to die for,” Emily mused.
JJ scoffed, nudging her legs underneath the blanket and knocking over Emily’s French poetry book. She went quiet again for a moment, thinking.
“The funny thing is, it was Roz that got me so mad about it in the first place. She was an amazing artist, but she didn’t show off about it. The opposite actually - I just found this huge battered folder with all these stunning drawings in them. I didn’t even realise they were by her at first, until she walked in and started screaming.”
JJ laughed at the memory. “The Eiffel tower one was my favourite. The detail on it was amazing, even though she’d never seen it in person.”
Her smile faded a little then. “I swore I could see her smile sometimes, when I talked about us going together, as much as she tried to hide it. I think she would have loved it.”
No more words were said after that, JJ leaning into Emily and letting her eyes close as she pulled her closer. She was only half aware of the sound of Emily’s voice as she fell asleep, soft French syllables merging together as she drifted off.
* * *
JJ thought she was still dreaming when she stirred to the sound of delicate piano.
A few notes later she recognised it as Landslide. She shifted higher up the couch, staring at the piano across from her and marveling at the woman playing. How was it possible Emily could know that song reminded her of her sister? Or was it just a coincidence? JJ was starting to think nothing about Emily was coincidence.
Emily turned, sensing JJ’s wakefulness. She merely smiled, and padded towards the kitchen.
“That song - ” JJ started, voice catching in her throat.
“ – was on your Walkman,” Emily finished.
No more words needed to be said. It seemed Emily knew her even better than she’d realised.
“More tea?” Emily asked, already reaching for the Paris mug.
JJ nodded, in something of a daze. Emily got to work, letting her eyes linger on the mug denoting the multiple famous Paris monuments.
“I got this mug when I took the first trip on my own to Paris,” she said, feeling the time was appropriate to speak of her own experiences now. She hesitated before her next words. “I’d love to go again some day. I always thought it would be better with someone to share it with.”
There was no reply, and she chided herself as she finished making the tea. Yet, when she returned to the couch and handed JJ the mug, she was met with an unreserved beaming smile.
“I thought you’d never ask.”
* * *
Derek Morgan was not a man who worried. Maybe at times he got slightly concerned about something, or troubled, but never did he worry.
This was a fact seriously called into question by the way he was currently pacing up and down Emily’s office. She remained seated, watching him turn at each end of what wasn’t that large a room, one eyebrow cocked.
“Would you like some tea?” she offered once he’d made his seventh circuit.
Derek scoffed, the anxiety momentarily eased.
Emily raised her hands. “Hey, I prefer coffee too, but I really don’t think that’s what you need right now.”
Honestly, she wasn’t sure he could be more amped up than he already was. She’d never seem him like this before, it was unnerving. Grouchy yes, ruffled, but never full blown panicked. It was the kind of panicked you only see in parents – or as it turned out, caring uncles. Christ, she was glad he’d never found out about Halloween.
“So that’s a no to the tea?”
She was met with no reply, only more pacing. She sighed, finally rising from her chair.
“Derek, please sit down.”
He continued to pace, muttering to himself. Emily thought she caught the words drugs and pregnant.
And she’d been worried he was blowing things out of proportion - too late apparently.
“Derek, sit down. You said you wanted to talk about Kayla and I can’t talk to you when you’re pacing like that. It’s making me jumpy.”
Derek let out a laugh, leaning his head back. “You’re treating me like an over-reactive parent.”
Emily raised a brow. “Isn’t that what you are right now?”
Derek conceded, pulling out the chair opposite Emily.
“For the record,” Emily said, “I’m nicer to my student’s parents. As difficult as it is.”
Derek had another laugh, seeming to relax a bit. “You had run-ins with Oliver Peter’s old man yet?”
Emily groaned. “You do not know how close I got to pushing him out that window.”
They both laughed, the sound easing more of the tension from the room. Emily let it settle before continuing.
“So, Kayla.”
Derek nodded, shifting up in his seat. “Yeah, I’m worried about her.”
“Clearly.”
If he was less worried he might have rolled his eyes. But all that came was a weary sigh. It made Emily feel a pang of guilt. God, he really was a good uncle. It almost made her annoyed.
“She’s just not been herself,” Derek sighed. “At first I thought she was just blowing me off, you know, college girl doesn’t wanna hang out with her uncle, which I understood okay, I wasn’t offended.”
Emily gave him a look.
“Okay, maybe I was a little, but I get it, I really do. She needs her space.”
He sighed again, running a hand over his head. Emily was almost glad there wasn’t any hair there for him to pull on.
“But then I found out she was missing practices. I swung by to see how her and the girls were doing, you know, maybe give them a pep talk– as much as I don’t care for basketball - but her captain told me she’d missed the last three. And I know she’s been missing classes too, which okay, is what college kids do, but not Kayla.”
Emily nodded. She had noticed the empty seat in her lectures the past couple of weeks. She’d tried not to pry, it wasn’t unusual, but now Derek was here, clearly concerned.
“I thought she was sick,” Derek went on, “So I went to her dorm but she wouldn’t even let me in.” He sighed in frustration, voice taking on a rougher tone. “She didn’t sound good though.”
“In what way?” Emily asked, curious and also on the edge of worry.
Derek dropped his head from the ceiling to meet her eyes, a resigned expression taking place. “She sounded upset.”
Emily nodded. “Ah.”
If only she was sick. Food poisoning or the flu - albeit unpleasant - was a great deal easier to handle than an upset teenage girl. It could stem from any number of things, most lacking quick fix solutions. Emily had said she felt herself regressing into her teenage years these past few months; she wouldn’t wish it on anyone – not the bad stuff anyway.
“I just want to know what’s wrong,” Derek pleaded, “And to fix it.”
Emily gave him a sympathetic smile. “That’s the thing, you can’t just punch problems away.”
Derek huffed. “I can if some guy’s hurt her.”
Emily held up her hands. “If that’s the case you’ll hear no complaints from me.”
Derek allowed himself a small smile as he settled back in his chair. He fixed Emily with a contemplative stare. It made her twitch in her seat.
“You haven’t noticed anything then?” he asked.
Emily blinked. “Um, not any more than you’ve just told me, sorry.” She paused, thinking. “She was out of sorts for a spell before the Christmas break, but that passed. Definitely nothing to worry about.”
Derek nodded, processing this information, mind racing as if he could connect the dots between the two scenarios. Beneath all that muscle was a real deep thinker. Emily was sure in another life he would have made a great detective.
“So she hasn’t said anything to you?”
Emily balked. “To me?”
“Yeah,” Derek pressed, like it wasn’t a ludicrous question.
Emily frowned. “You think Kayla would come to me for help?”
Derek’s face showed no sign of mocking. “Yeah, I do. Emily, she thinks you’re like, the coolest person in the world. Or at this university anyway.”
Emily was too stunned to even try to take offence at the additional comment. She leaned back in her chair, and despite her best efforts a smile twitched at her lips.
“She hasn’t said anything to me Derek, I assure you.”
“Okay,” he breathed, both relieved and disappointed, “but you’ll tell me if she does?”
Emily nodded. “I promise.”
* * *
February drifted into March without much notice – similar to how JJ and Penelope drifted past each other in and out their apartment, both too concerned with their own half-assed excuses to question the other.
Well, JJ was pretty sure she knew what Penelope was trying to hide. She just didn’t voice it, lest she draw attention to her own little secret. Penelope was getting lazy with her excuses; just last week she’d shouted through that she was ‘just popping out for milk’ – to not return for three hours. She’d claimed she’d run into an old friend at the store and just couldn’t pass up on a coffee. JJ couldn’t help teasing her, prodding for more information about this friend. Honestly she was impressed with her commitment.
Still, she couldn’t lie; it got harder and harder each time she left, not to proudly declare where she would be spending her evening. ‘Theatre’ nights were the easiest, Penelope making a habit of staying out pretty much all night, so JJ didn’t have to worry about getting away in a hurry. That was also getting harder every time, to leave.
She wondered if one day she just wouldn’t, answer Penelope’s inevitable frazzled phone-call demanding to know where she was with, ‘Oh, I’m just taking a bath with Emily. Actually that reminds me, we’re out of bubble bath. Can you get some? I don’t want to get up, thanks.’
Everyone pretty much knew what was going on with Penelope. Which made it all the more surprising when she turned up with Luke that Saturday at the youth centre. He hadn’t made an appearance since their probable relationship (by this point that’s what JJ was calling it) was guessed to have begun.
“Pen say anything to you about this?” JJ asked Tara as they hung back by the coffee machine, staring wide-eyed as the non-couple waltzed in.
Tara shook her head as she poured some coffee into her mug, the liquid nearly overflowing with her attention locked on the sight in front of her.
“Not a word, I figured she’d come to you first.”
JJ frowned, accepting the jug from Tara when she was finished. Today was a coffee day. She was still recovering from the… lack of sleep from Thursday night. She just hoped she looked more awake than she felt.
“Do you think they ended things?” Tara suggested, watching their movements with an eagle eye.
Luke pulled a seat out for Penelope and she nearly forgot to chasten him, sending a glare his way as an afterthought, cheeks burning. Luke just smiled, unquestionably fond.
“I’m gonna say no,” JJ replied.
Tara snorted. “God, they’re really not hiding it well. What do you think this is? A test?”
“What?”
“A test,” Tara repeated, voice lower, even though the two of them were far too wrapped up in each other to take notice. “To see if they can be together in public without raising suspicion.”
“Hmm,” JJ mused, watching them still.
“D-minus,” Matt called, passing by with a box of donuts.
* * *
“What do you think you’d give us, in a test?”
Emily frowned. “We’re taking a test? What?”
JJ laughed, finding the crease between Emily’s brows incredibly cute. “It’s just something Tara was talking about today, that Pen and Luke - ”
She cut herself off abruptly, throwing her head over her shoulder to check the people in question weren’t present. She relaxed when she spotted them still huddled outside with the others on the fire escape.
It was a cold night for early March. Everyone was bundled up close together for warmth, all grumbling about their discomfort but nobody making a move to leave. It was sweet really; that was the power of Spencer’s beaming smile and childlike glee.
He’d been gushing about this meteor shower for months, most of which had fallen on deaf ears, and at best, humoring smiles. But when it came down to it they all showed up, grumbling and teasing but resigned to their situation. Like any family really.
Penelope and Luke must not have had the greatest faith in themselves tonight, opting to sit at opposite ends of the huddle. Penelope was snuggled into Tara’s side with a pair of pink fluffy earmuffs, a blanket wrapped around them both, while Luke was trying his best not to sneak adoring glances from afar, nodding distractedly to Spencer every now and again. Clooney jumped up from Derek’s lap whenever he deemed it was time for another treat for staying out in the cold for so long – which seemed to be every five seconds.
Spencer himself hadn’t settled down the whole evening, committed to his spot dangerously close to the ledge, binoculars glued to his eyes. The rings left whenever he drew them back caused much hilarity from the group – another incentive to stay out in the cold.
Though they wouldn’t admit it in their freezing state, the group may not have seen any meteors - hardly any stars at that given the light pollution of the city - but the sparkle in Spencer’s eyes as he clung to hope, searching the sky with zeal, was something to wonder at. That kind of passion was something rare, and they all hoped, as cruel as this world could be, that he’d never lose it.
“I wish they’d just cut the crap and come out.”
JJ blinked, turning back to Emily who was dropping mini marshmallows one by one into seven mugs. She bit back a smile when she noticed her own mug overflow with just that bit more than the others.
JJ raised her brows as she took a careful step towards her. “Hypocrite much?”
She received a relenting look in return while Emily wiped off extra cream from the teaspoon.
“Okay, I guess I can understand wanting a bit of space.”
She turned to hand JJ her mug, steam fighting to curl through the heaps of cream and marshmallows. JJ smiled, and was about to take the offered drink when Emily stopped her.
“Wait,” she cut in, leaning down and softly blowing over the top of it. “It’s hot.”
JJ breathed out a laugh at the display. “I don’t think that does anything with the mountain of additions you’ve made to it.”
Emily shrugged before offering the mug. “I’m allowed to play favourites.”
JJ bit her lip, warmth starting to flush her cheeks. “I’m your favourite?”
Emily looked at her as if she’d hit her head. “If you’re still not clear on that after what we did last night then I don’t know what to tell you.”
JJ reached forward to nudge her shoulder, hot chocolate nearly spilling everywhere. Once their giddy smiles calmed, JJ’s hand drifted to the mug, fingers resting over Emily’s. She didn’t want to break away from the moment, not even for the second it would take to check nobody was watching.
“Oh things are definitely clear,” she replied, voice no more than a rough whisper.
She could tell from the look in Emily’s eyes that she was one step away from throwing caution to the wind, sure she would see the same fervor reflected back in her own - when a voice snapped them back.
“I think I see it! Emily, JJ, come on!”
“Don’t bother, it’s a plane.”
“Nah, that’s a bird.”
“I think it’s a balloon.”
“Penelope, I told you to put your glasses back on!”
JJ met Emily’s eyes again, the hunger still lingering.
“Keep me warm out there?”
Emily laughed. “If you think you can keep your hands to yourself.”
JJ’s eyes glinted in a way that said we’ll see, before she helped Emily collect the rest of the mugs.
As cold as it was, it was turning into a beautiful night; Emily thought she could spot four, possibly five stars? Which was more than usual across a New York skyline. Mostly, as always, it was the company that made the night.
She also couldn’t help her mind from drifting back to memories of another night on this fire escape, both not that far and also a lifetime ago. When still reeling from their newfound connection, JJ and her had returned each other’s Walkmans, finally after all those years. Emily had felt a pang of sorrow in the act, like it was an ending she wasn’t ready for. Never would she have dreamed of the beginning it had marked – and the end, she hoped, was far from near.
“B-plus,” Emily murmured, as they settled down between Derek and Tara, low enough that the others couldn’t hear.
A coy smile curved JJ’s lips, and ever so subtly, she reached her hand underneath the blanket they both shared. JJ’s fingertips brushed her skin, and Emily didn’t hesitate to grasp her hand into her own, holding on with everything she had.
If either felt a pair of eyes on them in that moment, they pretended not to notice.
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