#LET ME ENJOY THE OFFICIAL RELEASE FFS | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

anxiouspineapple99 · 1 year

Text

Of Healing and Breaking Again

Chapter 3 Or The One Where We Are Discovered

Summary: On a mission for Cid The Batch encounters an unexpected ally. Together they uncover a sinister plan being concocted by the Empire that could prove catastrophic for the galaxy. Together they try to save their lost brother, stop the Empire, and come to terms with feelings they never thought would be possible.

Pairing: Tech x FemJedi!OC

Word Count: 4.1k (long boiiiii)

Warnings: violence, mentions of vomit, death, some swoony eyes from our Jedi girly —this is an intense one

A/N: this one was a hard one to write but I thoroughly enjoyed it. It may be my favorite chapter/piece of ff I have written thus far! Hope you all enjoy it too! And shout out to my beautiful lovelies of the tag list! You’re amazing! Thank you for reading and for the support!

Catch up on what’s happened so far: Chapter 1, Chapter 2

Avery trudged up to the Marauder first thing in the morning, her stomach in knots. The boys were running the normal pre-flight checks. She inhaled and marched up to them, trying to feign confidence balanced with the overwhelming remorse she was feeling.

“Hey boys, I just want to ahhh…apologize to you for the other day.” Avery rubbed the back of her neck and stared at her feet feeling the rush of shame for how she’d acted. “I’ve been…having a rough time. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.”

Hunter stepped toward her, “Don’t worry about it. Go ahead and get comfortable. We’ll be heading out soon.” She released the breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding. She proceeded to make herself as unobtrusive as possible when Omega bounded up.

“I’m so glad you agreed to come! You can help us with,” she paused, peeking mischievously over her shoulder at Hunter, and dropped her voice to a whisper, “the mission!”

“I heard that, Omega” Hunter interjected, not looking up from the task he was engrossed in.

Omega giggled and grabbed Avery by the hand insisting she wanted to give her “the official tour” of the ship. She proudly showed off the room her brothers had constructed for her, named who slept on which uncomfortable looking rack, pointed out the refresher, introduced Gonky, and presented Lula with a squeeze.

“And this is the cockpit! Tech says he will only teach me to fly when I can recite all of the Marauder’s specs from memory,” Omega grumbled.

Avery giggled at her visible disdain, “Sounds like he’s just looking out for you.”

“More so my ship, but yes. Some of that is concern for Omega’s safety,” Tech quipped over his shoulder.

“We are set, Tech. You ready?” Hunter asked, leaning on the frame of the cockpit door.

“Affirmative. Everything is ready on my end.”

“Great, let’s get this over with. When we reach the mainland we will split up. Tech, you and Avery will get the medical supplies. Wrecker will stock up on munitions. Echo will stay back to ensure we have no trouble with Imps snooping around the ship. Omega and I will look for Cid’s contact and hopefully secure what we came for. Any questions?”

Avery settled into one of the empty seats in the cockpit, attempting to draw as little attention to herself as she could. She woke up with a feeling of dread she couldn’t shake and it was gnawing at her. She tucked her knees up to her chest and shoved her nose to the screen of her datapad.

“You’re much less conversational than the other night,” Tech had turned to face her. His eyes crinkled as a slight smile crossed his lips.

“Yeah, wine does tend to make me chatty. This,” she motioned absently with her hands, “is your space. I tend to be reserved when I’m not in my element, so to speak. And I prefer listening to talking anyway.”

Tech narrowed his eyes, curiously studying every aspect of her before speaking again, “Yes, well that should not be a problem. Do you know where we are going to acquire our supplies?”

Avery nodded, “Yes. I frequent the same seller every visit. He’s reliable, trustworthy, and reasonably priced.”

“Excellent. You will lead the way when we arrive.” Avery nodded in agreement.

She was about to turn her attention back to the pad when Tech launched into an in-depth explanation of the migratory and mating practices of one of the native bird populations. A little unexpected and she wasn’t quite sure yet where the train of thought had originated but it was interesting. She put her datapad back in her satchel and rested her chin on her knees, listening intently.

He’s pretty cute pointing his finger like that while explaining things. She smiled at the thought.

“Ah, apologies, I am probably boring you.” Tech began to turn so his attention was back on the controls when Avery stuck her foot into the arm of his seat stopping him short.

“Wait, Tech. I’m not bored, I’m enjoying listening to you. I enjoy learning about wildlife.”

“Fascinating.” He adjusted his goggles, looked at her foot, and then leaned into Avery as if inspecting her eyebrows scrunched together quizzically. “That has never happened before. However, we are approaching our destination so we will have to continue this conversation at a later time.”

As everyone scattered to perform their respective duties, Avery noted the Empire's presence had exponentially increased since the last time she was here and something deep within was telling her they were there to find her. Avery pulled the hood of her poncho up, concealing her face as best she could hoping no security holocams captured her face yet. She walked so close to Tech she bumped him periodically. He took a mental note of her proximity to him and observed her body language to get an idea of what was going on. He finally broke the silence when he was certain of the cause of her unusual behavior.

“The troopers make you nervous,” Tech uttered, leaning in to Avery.

“A little bit, yes. Could you talk to me? Ask me questions? Anything to distract me until we reach our destination,” her voice quivered.

“Of course. What should I ask?” He countered with unflappable confidence.

“Anything. Literally anything. You could tell me more about the birds from earlier, or ask me personal questions, I really don’t care,” desperation was creeping into her voice.

“Why Nuna?”

“What?”

“Why did you name your loth-cat Nuna? Those are the impossibly stupid swamp turkeys on Naboo. A strange choice in name.”

“Oh,” a chuckle left her lips and her shoulders relaxed some, “Because when I got her I thought she was as stupid as a nuna, however I’m beginning to wonder if I was wrong about that. She had no real awareness of her surroundings and ran into everything; walls, furniture, you name it. She also puffs up like a nuna when she’s mad.” Tech smiled, amused by her reasoning.

“What made you choose medicine as a profession?”

She looked at him, calculating how she would answer without giving too much away not knowing what he had already discovered from his lengthy research on her.

“I like helping people. Fixing people,” she finally answered. “One of my greatest attributes and biggest flaws probably. I saw all of the suffering the war was bringing. To civilians. To the troopers. I wanted to be useful…a source of comfort and kindness in a war that had little of either. Most of my training happened in the field. However, I think I’ve become a pretty good physician as a result.”

He looked down as she glanced up at him, each holding their gaze a little longer than normal. Her eyes were so blue and her lashes were so long. They brushed her cheeks as she blinked. He hadn’t noticed before and now he wasn’t sure he wanted to look away so quickly. This had also never happened before.

“That is very altruistic of you.”

She had let her guard down, but that also meant she’d stopped scanning her surroundings. Unbeknownst to both of them was the small squad of tk-troopers approaching from behind. Impatiently they shoved through the crowd, with one in particular shoulder-checking Avery with the full force of his body weight plus armor.

“What the stang!” She yelled as she was thrown off balance.

The unceremonious shove from the tk-trooper sent her careening into Tech. In a single smooth motion he staved off her fall, his hands grasping her waist and hers clinging to his forearms. He shot a glare at the trooper before turning back to her. A flush had crept across her cheeks as neither had let go of the other quite as quickly as they should.

“Are you unharmed?” Tech furrowed his brow as he squeezed her slightly.

“Yes, thank you Tech. I am fine,” her stomach still turning though she wasn’t sure if it was because of the anxiety of the presence of the troopers or her proximity to Tech.

In that moment, that intimate moment of them holding each other she felt him. Everyone had a force signature, unique to the individual. Even the clones, especially the clones, were distinct individuals in the force. She could get a general idea of someone's signature from being near them. But this, the touch and closeness. She felt so much of him. He was confident in not just his intelligence but his physical capabilities. He needed no one’s approval. He loved his squad, no, his family deeply and would not hesitate to sacrifice himself for their safety. He missed their brother, Crosshair? Yes, that’s the name she was getting. He was warm, compassionate, and had a strong sense of honor. There was a tenderness there that was reserved for only those he chose to allow in and a selfish part of her suddenly yearned to be one that he allowed in.

“You are safe with me,” his voice was gentle and soothing.

“I know,” she said barely above a whisper. She cleared her throat and continued, “We are here.”

They entered the shop and began quickly checking off their lists. She instructed the man at the counter to add anything Tech was purchasing to her bill. He tried to dissuade her but she insisted it was the least she could do for letting her tag along. She paid and they prepped to leave when it hit her. That feeling, the Force was warning her. Danger. They were here. And they wanted her. Tech was uneasy too. She sensed that as well.

He looked at her, “Let’s get back, now.” She nodded firmly. She glanced at a group of troopers talking to some civvies.

“Have you seen this woman?” They asked, projecting a picture of her. Her breath hitched and she looked away pulling her hood further over her head.

Tech had also seen the exchange and immediately opened his comlink, “Hunter we have a problem.” Her stomach dropped, and she hoped that she wasn’t the problem he was referring to.

Hunter’s voice answered back almost immediately, “I know, Tech. We’ve seen them too. Just get back to the ship and we will lay low on the island until some of the Imps clear out.”

“Copy that,” and with that he closed the link. “Remain calm and keep walking. We will be fine,” he soothed again, eyes fixed ahead of them. She was in awe of his unflappable restraint in what was, frankly, a dangerous situation for all of them.

They arrived back at the ship with no other complications, sans not completing CID’s mission much to Omega’s dismay. They quickly loaded the supplies and once on board, Tech wasted no time getting them airborne and back to the island. Avery leaned against the cold durasteel of the Marauder contemplating her next move. She couldn’t stay. They would find her sooner rather than later. She’d have to try to charter a ship off planet.

Her thoughts were interrupted by Omega, “Why is the Empire looking for you?”

She gave a half smile, “Let’s just say ideological differences.”

Omega tilted her head, “Oh. Us too!”

Avery was taken aback, “Wait, what?” Before any further explanation could be given, they were interrupted by a cacophony of swears coming from the cockpit.

Avery joined them but before she could ask what was wrong, she saw it. Smoke billowing from the island. She pushed through to stand next to Tech in the pilot’s seat.

Her eyes wide and her knuckles turning white from the vice she held on the headrest, all she could manage was a weak, “No, no, no.”

“Tech, I need you to land where we have some cover,” Hunter ordered.

“Obviously” Tech said through gritted teeth. Echo leaped into the co-pilot seat ready to jump in at any moment as Tech brought the ship down.

Hunter began formulating his next plan of action, “We need to get to the village and look for survivors. Echo you —“

“No Hunter. I’m going alone. You all stay here,” Avery cut him off, her mouth set in a hard line.

Tech whipped his head around, “That would not be advisable.”

Avery shrugged, “No, probably not. But your safety is my primary concern. This is my fight. I know that you know they’re here for me. There is no reason to put you all in more danger than necessary. Worst case scenario I hold them off long enough for you lot to bail. I don’t want you waiting for me if things go south.”

Omega’s eyes brimmed with tears, “We can’t just leave you!”

Avery knelt to her level, “You can and you will if you need to. My trouble with the Empire should not fall on any of you.”

“We will hold out as long as possible for you,” said Hunter, placing a reassuring hand on Avery’s shoulder.

“Thank you. May the Force be with you. All of you.”

Avery rummaged through her satchel and pulled out her lightsaber. Clipping it to her belt she breathed in and closed her eyes before walking down the boarding ramp.

Quietly she made her way to the village. She reached out with the Force before it came into view. Nothing. It was the same sickening silence as in the Temple and her stomach lurched violently.

She fought back tears and vomit, “Now is not the time to mourn. There will be time for that later.”

Her home had been ransacked. She walked in and softly called for Nuna as she dug into her hiding places to gather her few necessary belongings: her medic bag, her healing crystals, the box with the second lightsaber she was building, her remaining credits, and her few remaining clothes. As she was about to leave, hoping Nuna had made it into the forest, she heard a mew coming from under some rubble.

“Nuna!” She grabbed her and tucked her on her shoulder inside her poncho. She crept through the village center making her way to Cira’s. She was hoping, begging, praying to the Force that her friend was okay. That she could apologize for their last interaction. That the last time she spoke to her dear friend when she was so harsh and bitter wasn’t the last time. She stood in the doorway, eyes welling and looked on silently. She carefully walked inside and covered the body of her fallen friend. Avery’s heart felt like it was in a vice looking into those eyes, still open with the fear she’d felt in her final moments painted like a death mask on her face. She reached out and closed her eyes.

She whispered as she laid her hands on her, one final time, “There is no death. Only the Force. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for speaking to you so unkindly. For keeping so many secrets from you. I’m sorry I couldn’t save you, too. You deserved better.” She paused, sensing a presence. She walked back out to the village center, her senses tingling.

“We’ve located the Jedi, sir,” came a disembodied voice. She spun around just in time to ignite her lightsaber and start deflecting the blaster bolts.

Hunter was seated in the cockpit when his senses alerted him to someone approaching. He stood and walked to the boarding ramp where he saw a familiar face.

“Where is the Jedi, Hunter?”

“Hello to you too, Cross.”

“This isn’t a social call. Where is the Jedi?” Crosshair rolled the toothpick in his mouth irritably.

“Dunno what you mean, Crosshair. There is no Jedi here.”

“Don’t lie to me again Hunter. Don’t think I forgot what happened on Kaller.”

Hunter stared at his brother with a mix of sadness and frustration. Echo, Tech, and Wrecker all crowded behind him all wearing similar expressions. They missed him. They wanted him home.

“You don’ have to do this, Cross.” Wrecker said sadly.

“Don’t I, Wrecker? You so sure about that?” There was venom and pain in Crosshair’s inflection.

Hunter was about to say something when a voice came in over Crosshair’s open comlink, “Sir! We had the Jedi in our sights but she evaded us! She is making her way back toward your position.”

“Copy that, I am ready for her. Looks like you don’t have to tell me where she is after all. She’ll be walking right into my arms.”

Tech’s eyes widened in panic and his mouth twitched as he instinctively moved his hand to hover over his deece.

“What’s that look for, Tech? You fond of the traitor?” Crosshair sneered chewing on his toothpick.

Tech stood silent. He wouldn’t kill his brother. He couldn’t. He loved him and wanted him back with the squad. But he would stun him. He wasn’t sure why he was so compelled to protect Avery. He barely knew her. These new feelings would have to be investigated later. For now, he just wanted her back safe on his ship.

Avery crouched at the tree line beyond the Marauder listening to the exchange happening between the brothers.

“Nuna, go to Omega! Now!” She placed the little loth-cat on the ground and she stealthily crept from the hiding spot onto the ship.

Once Avery saw she was safely on board, she tucked her poncho in the medic bag along with the rest of her belongings and emerged. As she passed the boys she dropped the medic bag at Echo’s feet. She made eye contact, nodding toward the bag to indicate he was to take it in case of an expedient escape and he nodded in silent agreement.

She returned her attention to Crosshair, “Hello there, Crosshair. I believe I am the Jedi you are looking for.”

Crosshair sniggered, “You have the arrogant bravado all the other Jedi had, I see. However, she’s the prettiest one I’ve seen so far. I see why you like her, Tech. I’m almost sorry this is how it has to play out.”

“Crosshair, I can help you if you let me. I know you don’t want to do this. I can sense it,” Avery said gently. She slowly approached Crosshair, hands extended. “I will not kill you, or any clone for that matter.”

“Touching,” he hissed through clenched teeth. His rifle was still slung over his shoulder and she wasn’t sure if that was because maybe, just maybe, she was getting through to him or if there was a trap laying in wait for her. Just in case it was the latter, she drew her saber and assumed the opening Soresu stance.

Tilting his head and chewing his toothpick Crosshair leaned forward slightly, “Going back on your word already? Somehow I’m not surprised.”

“No, I meant every word I said. I am just not fully convinced you don’t have a firing squad waiting beyond those trees. I said I wouldn’t kill you. I never said conscripted tk-troopers would get the same compassion.”

Crosshair leaned against a tree, arms still crossed, “Listen sweet cheeks, this is all very moving. But I was sent to detain you, not kill you. I’m following my orders, though given the choice I’d shoot you on sight.”

Avery narrowed her eyes inquisitively, “No. That’s not entirely true, is it though. Like I said, I can feel you. You’re practically screaming in there, I can hear you through the Force.”

Crosshair clenched his fists and scowled, “You are a traitor and I wouldn’t think twice about ending you.”

Before she could argue the semantics of what government entity she was actually a traitor of, she froze her Force sense of danger screaming at her nearly as loud as Crosshair’s desperate pleas for help from inside his own head.

“Crosshair who is coming,” it was sharp as it left her lips. Panic was building quickly. She was skilled in dueling. She had to be. But she wasn’t sure she could hold her ground if she was going head to head against a Sith Lord.

A smile curled at the corner of Crosshair’s mouth as he shrugged nonchalantly, “That’s above my pay grade.”

She spun on her heel and faced Hunter, “Whoever is looking for me is here already, you need to go. You boys aren’t trained for what’s coming.” Hunter opened his mouth to argue but Avery barked, “That’s an order, sergeant! So help me, I will pull rank and Force push every single one of you into that ship. Do you understand me?”

“Hello little Jedi,” a sardonic voice cooed.

Avery looked back, slightly relieved to see that it was only an Inquisitor. It wasn’t a Sith Lord, but the Inquisitors were still sadistic, ruthless, and not her first choice in opponents. She immediately transitioned from Form III to Form V. Soresu would be fine against Crosshair and some tk’s since she wouldn’t have needed any offense. Just deflect, disarm, and run. Against an Inquisitor though? He didn’t have a blaster, his weapon of choice was a lightsaber, bled and corrupted crystal still screaming inside the hilt.

“Good work CT-nine-nine-zero-four. You’ve served well. I can handle things from here.”

“Crosshair,” she couldn’t help herself. She was staring death and darkness in the eye and she still had to say something about those kriffing numeric designations that made her blood boil.

“What was that little Jedi?”

“His name is Crosshair. He’s not just a number,” she hissed, as she idly swung her lightsaber around to warm up. “And you will refer to him as such when you’re in my presence.”

A dark laugh escaped the Inquisitor, “Your reputation precedes you. Bleeding heart for the clones through and through.”

And before anyone could blink the Inquisitor closed the space between them, but Avery met that speed with her own, blocking the blow of the red saber coming down on her head with her own teal light humming and buzzing as they collided in contact. She called on the Force and for the first time in a long time she felt it strongly pulsing through her veins. Parry, parry, block. She let the Force guide her as she went on the offensive. Side step, block, parry, block. She realized The Batch were all still cemented to the ground staring in shock.

“Hunter! Go! Get out of here!” Her yell jarred them back to reality. She could see the hesitation in their faces before they ran back up the boarding ramp. Wrecker hauled Omega over his shoulder as she screamed for them not to leave.

The Inquisitor took advantage of the momentary distraction and Force shoved Avery into a tree, knocking the wind from her lungs and the lightsaber from her hands. She rolled as he surged forward, only just missing her with the blade. Catching her breath she dodged attack after attack still unarmed. She managed to call her saber back to her with the Force just in time to activate it and block what would have been a devastating blow. They were nose to nose, only their crossed lightsabers keeping them from touching. She could feel his hot rancid breath on her face.

The Inquisitor jeered, “You’re stronger than you look, little Jedi, but not strong enough.” She felt her knees buckling, the strength in her arms wavering. His eyes mocked her and for a moment she thought that she was finished. She closed her eyes, breathed in, and pushed back with everything she had. She managed to knock him off balance, nearly throwing him to the ground.

She squared up again, face steeled, “I am one with the Force. The Force is with me! I am Doctor Avery Leto, Jedi Consular of The Jedi Order. I am not a little Jedi. I am a healer, a peacekeeper, and wielder of the light side of the Force. And I will be a force to be reckoned with.”

The Inquisitor laughed bitterly, “Your emotions betray you! I see your anger and sadness, your shame! Oh that shame is delightful. And now I end you little Jedi, but alas will it be by my blade? Or should I delight in ripping out your trachea?” And in the next moment Avery felt her throat clamp shut.

He’s made his choice it seems. Too cowardly to fight fair in a proper duel. Can’t say that surprises me.

She only hoped she could think of a plan quickly as she already felt her consciousness slipping.

Tag List Lovlies 💕: @msmeredithrose , @808tsuika

25 notes · View notes

floweryavenue · 3 years

Text

Ugh, so, I don't even know if anyone is actually gonna read this, and I'm not really the one who would participate in fandom very actively (I was always a passive observer, liking other's people content), but the stuff with the leaks of the extra 8 pages of snk ending has been really bothering me for the last few days, and I really need to get a few things off my chest.

I really wanted to wait till 9th June to form my full thoughts. However, since basically all pages have leaked anyway and quite a reliable source confirmed there is basically no additional context to them whatsoever, I decided I might as well write this anyway and vent somewhere to clear my head so I can finally move on with my life to focus on other things I like and with other important irl stuff. Moreover, since Tumblr seems like a reasonably safe space to do so (comparing to one hell of a Twitter...) I might as well do it here. So, let's go.

So, basically, my main problem with those pages is simply that... you just don't do that. No. You don't release an ending, make people think it's really the end, then say you're gonna release a few additional pages that won't change anything but simply clarify some things, and then, two months later, release these pages indeed but not only they don't actually clarify anything, but in fact, create even more plot holes. Furthermore, as a cherry on top, they change the ending quite completely. If those pages had been included in the original release, most people, myself included, would've moved on by now. But noooo, make us go through this hell again. Great :))))

And as for the content of those pages, well... I can't help but feel they really did quite a disservice to Mikasa, one of my favourite female characters ever. My biggest problem isn't even that she 'moved on' (whatever that means at this point, coz I feel like fandom has been successfully managing to butcher that term ever since 139 has dropped) and started a family on her own because I'm fully aware that falling in love again after you first love died is an entirely normal thing irl. But ffs, we're not talking about irl here; we're talking about snk and Mikasa. And the thing that MAINLY bothers me, is the way it has been presented.

I'm not going to delve into the husband's possible identities, 1) I'm not interested at all in participating in any ship wars, 2) because we don't even get to see his face and sources say we indeed don't get any direct confirmation in that regard. Not that this matters anyway, because we get presented with Mikasa on the one hand staring her own family, but on the other, still continuing to visit Eren's grave repeatedly throughout her life and in the end, getting buried with a scarf on, her dearest remembrance of Eren, and maybe even getting buried next to him (even tho, the latter is still not 100% confirmed, bcs here sources are contradictory, but judging by the general mood of those pages, I'd not be surprised at all if it turns out to be the case).

That makes me think the whole family-stuff was used only to present the passage of time and the fact that Mikasa never fully got over Eren, bcs we don't see the family in any other context besides the visits to the grave. And that leads me to my other question - was introducing the family really NECESSARY, then? Couldn't Mikasa simply visit the grave with Armin, and maybe even with Armin, Annie and their kids? Idk about you, but that would make 100% more sense to me. Also, don't get me even started, how much in the wrong way it rubs me that Mikasa, the character who, as we know, always deeply cared about others, even strangers (Gabi, etc.), would just drag her husband, her children and grandchildren to the grave of her first love on which she had written 'my most beloved, my dear'? Do I really need to elaborate on how WEIRD that is?

But I guess that's on me for believing a male author would write a satisfactory conclusion to the main female character (not Mikasa touring around Hizuru, not Mikasa playing with kids at the orphanage, no! Forced family plot, instead! Take that!)

As of Eremika, aka my most cherished paring ever since 2014... I guess the only good thing in that mess is that at least it doesn't invalidate them. If anything, it validates them even more, because the stuff I've mentioned earlier prove their love was eternal and Mikasa never truly got over it. So, all in all, I'm gonna still cherish them forever. There are still many unexplored aspects of their bond, so I believe we, as a community, have a big room to explore (pls, I'm begging you, explore with me all the possibilities of their four years in the cottage in the mountains, I swear, that sh!t has so much potential it's unbelievable).

As of Paradis getting destroyed, well, that leaves me bitter, even though after doing some thinking, that really might be the least out of place thing in those pages. At least according to sources, it happens when Mikasa is already dead, so at least Eren's wish of giving his friends long, secure lives came true. However, that would be it.

And as of titan's power still being there and some kid apparently finding the source of it... this just screams 'sequel-baiting', AND I ABSOLUTELY HATE IT. That's it.

To end my definitely too long rambling, I just wanna say, I really would have liked to wait till 9th June to publish my thoughts, but as I've said, those last few days have been driving me crazy and I really wanted just to get all of it off my chest and move on. I want for now to just focus on my irl things, like working on my master's thesis and other stuff giving me joy, like Eurovision next week coming back after 2-years-absence due to pandemic. Eurovision is one of the few things that I love, and I intend on fully enjoying it next week, not sulking on those leaks too much. And if by some completely unexpected miracle I get pleasantly surprised on 9th June (even tho I truly doubt it at this point) - that would be only a win for me, I guess.

Anyway, please remember, all that I have written here is ONLY MY OPINION, and if you disagree with anything, that's valid, you're completely entitled to that. I'm not publishing this to argue with anybody, only to clear my head. That's it.

If anyone has read this too long personal rant of mine - thank you, I'm kissing you on the forehead right now.

Oh, and remember - EREMIKA IS CANON. And always will be (no, that one is not up for discussion).

Also, we have that official High School AU, and Eren right now is quietly snoozing on Mikasa's shoulder during another Twilight marathon she made him to take part in, and Armin and Annie are dissing people together on reddit while bonding over their pretentious taste in music. That's canon, Isayama told me after I had phoned him to ask wtf.

PS To think I was almost sure those extra pages will be about Mikasa's reunion with the rest of the alliance... I guess it's time to put that clown make up on.

53 notes · View notes

theredconversegirl · 4 years

Note

Hello! Can you recommend any angsty sasusaku one shots or fics that end in fluff or smut? :)

Hi nonny :) Thanks for stopping by!

First of all, sorry for the wait. It took me awhile to go through my ffnet and ao3 fave lists and confirm if the fic did have a happy ending at least. Some here will end with fluff, some with smut, and some will be more subtle but still soft and happy.

So, I’m calling this list:

Angst with a Happy Ending 🍅🌸

My go to story when I’m in this mood is Heartbeat by letmeannoyyoutoday, which I have recommended here before. It’s long and detailed, and it will make you cry before it will make you smile ;)

Now, let’s get started:

A Blue Bathed Litany By: Elegies for Shiva  / @elegiesforshiva

Bad dreams are nothing new for any shinobi. But being comforted is, especially in a fashion as sensual as this. Angst. Fluff. Lots of lemons. [Rated M, complete]

🍅🌸🍅🌸🍅🌸

A Highly Contested Topic By: Annie Sparklecakes

SasuSaku. He's not lonely, he says, Because he has her. In which Sakura desperately tries to form a bond, and Sasuke grows more and more attached by the day. He won't admit it, but the truth doesn't lie. [Rated T, complete]

🍅🌸🍅🌸🍅🌸

Ambrosia By: refracted

Dark/AU. In the morning, when all the pretense has dissolved and they have finished the deeds that will become the death of them, he pretends he is asleep when he hears her sob. She breaks too beautifully, he believes. [Rated M, complete]

🍅🌸🍅🌸🍅🌸

Being with you By: La coccinelle bleue

At that moment, he could recall comparing her, and her presence, to the smell of fresh paint. [Rated K+, complete]

🍅🌸🍅🌸🍅🌸

Blood for Blood By: SouthSideStory  / @southsidestory

It's vengeance that drove Sasuke away from Konoha, and vengeance that brings him back. Staying, though, is a different matter entirely, and it's only Sakura that could give him a home. [Rated M, complete]

🍅🌸🍅🌸🍅🌸

breaking the habit By: the blanket

I'm scared as hell to want you, but here I am, wanting you anyway. Sakura, Sasuke, and breaking habits. And maybe, just maybe, learning new ones. [Rated T, complete]

🍅🌸🍅🌸🍅🌸

Cruel Cycle By: EmilyEphebiphobia

She really does hate this sick cycle, but at the same time, she can't help but love it. [Rated M, complete]

🍅🌸🍅🌸🍅🌸

Decennial By: fayevalentines

The ten years and ten separate times that Uchiha Sasuke catches himself staring at Haruno Sakura's back chronicled his descent into a maddening, consuming and achingly prosaic lunacy he fearfully acknowledges as love. [Canon-verse and Postcanon-verse.] [Rated T, complete]

🍅🌸🍅🌸🍅🌸

Distant Ruins By: soulaire / @soulairee

AU. One-shot. She is lucky, she thinks, to have Sasuke as her first client. He's handsome, rich, and everything else she's not, and that is exactly why she's here, in his room, giving all of herself over to this stranger she just barely met. She only hopes Naruto never finds out. It would kill him if he knew she was selling her body to keep them alive... [Rated M, complete]

🍅🌸🍅🌸🍅🌸

don't let go By: theeflowerchild

He made love to her in between the hospital sheets, released her name like a prayer between cracked lips. "I thought I lost you." [Rated M, complete]

🍅🌸🍅🌸🍅🌸

Elevation By: refracted

On day three hundred, he realizes he's probably loved her all along. [Rated T, complete]

🍅🌸🍅🌸🍅🌸

Enlightenment By: ClaraDraconis / @claradraconis For Sasuke, clarity comes after the final battle. Sometimes reflecting on the pain you've caused is the only way to realise what you've been missing all along. [Rated T, complete]

🍅🌸🍅🌸🍅🌸

Even After Everything By: Rise of the Blossom  / @riseoftheblossom-ff

Once more, her eyes searched through the large crowds of people, searching for that certain face she knew would be lurking around somewhere. At that moment in time, to her, he was all that mattered. He would always be the only one who mattered. [Rated K+, complete]

🍅🌸🍅🌸🍅🌸

Everywhere By: flowerslut  / @flowerslut

"Did you—" she hesitated, looking away, "did you miss me?" He did not hesitate, although he did pause and think for a quick moment. "No." [Rated T, complete]

🍅🌸🍅🌸🍅🌸

finding the inbetween By: glossier 

Whether it's love or hate or something in the middle, his pupils dilate when he sees her. [Rated T, complete] ❣

🍅🌸🍅🌸🍅🌸

For the Love of the Amaryllis Flower By: theClosetPoet7  / @theclosetpoet7

With them, it has always been like this, him doing whatever he wants and her patiently waiting for his return. [Rated M, complete]

🍅🌸🍅🌸🍅🌸

Ghost By: twilightdazzle 

Sakura is officially declared missing on a Wednesday morning. Wednesday, what a stupid day to go missing. Of course, Sakura is the only person he knows that is annoying enough to interrupt the middle of the week like this. [Rated M, complete]

🍅🌸🍅🌸🍅🌸

he said By: the blanket

Sasuke, Sakura, and all that lies between. “I have never expected anything from you. That would have been the height of all foolishness, and say what you want about me, but I was never that. With you, Sasuke-kun, I only ever hoped.” [Rated K+, complete] ❣

🍅🌸🍅🌸🍅🌸

Her Patience Was Rewarding By: DeepPoeticGirl / @xxlovendreamsxx

"I don't care if I throw my life away. If that's what it takes to make your life a little happier, and that this is exactly what you need to fulfill your dreams... then I don't care. Anything and everything for you, Sasuke-kun." [Rated M, complete]

🍅🌸🍅🌸🍅🌸

how scattered is the shattered glass By: silence.like.sleeping 

Sasuke knows that glass is easy to break and very hard to put back together. [Rated T, complete]

🍅🌸🍅🌸🍅🌸

I think By: Lady Starburst 

She thinks it's impossible to get over something that never was. He thinks there's nothing left. A few years later, Sasuke and Sakura pick up where they left off. Sort of. [Rated M, complete]

🍅🌸🍅🌸🍅🌸

Intoxicated By: cherryblossomthundercrash / @uchiharvno

Sasuke always catches Sakura. (TW: alcoholism and drug use) [Rated M, complete]

🍅🌸🍅🌸🍅🌸

Kaleidoscopes By: twilightdazzle 

Because Sakura loves Sasuke in kaleidoscope colors, and not all of them were so pretty. AU. [Rated M, complete]

🍅🌸🍅🌸🍅🌸

Magnetism By: twilightdazzle

No," she snarled. "If you're going to leave again, then I want you to be man enough to say goodbye to my face." In which Sakura is stubborn and Sasuke is conflicted. [Rated M, complete] ❣

🍅🌸🍅🌸🍅🌸

more than enough By: proserandom 

But of course. She never did have a place in his heart. [Rated T, complete]

🍅🌸🍅🌸🍅🌸

One Touch By: Clearheart 

They're always close, but they never touch, and it's killing them both. One touch is all Sakura craves to set things right. [Rated M, complete]

🍅🌸🍅🌸🍅🌸

Once More, With Feeling By: JinnySkeans

Art enables us to find ourselves and lose ourselves at the same time. [Rated M, complete]

🍅🌸🍅🌸🍅🌸

parting the clouds By: in cages

he points his finger & she bares her teeth; they are in love, or so they're told. [Rated M, complete]

🍅🌸🍅🌸🍅🌸

raindrops falling up By: rawrchelle

“It can’t be anyone but Sakura.” “Why?” “Because she’s the only one stupid enough to love me despite everything.” [Rated T, complete]

🍅🌸🍅🌸🍅🌸

say anything By: the blanket

Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder. But sometimes radios help, too. [Rated T, complete]

🍅🌸🍅🌸🍅🌸

Sickness of love By: GrimmjowKurosaki19 / @grimmjowkurosakidrake

Sasuke falls sick in love and there's no cure. [Rated T, complete]

🍅🌸🍅🌸🍅🌸

Tangible By: twilightdazzle 

Sometimes, she feels like she's invisible and they can't see her. Like she wasn't real. And they finally realize she's there just when they're about to lose her. [Rated M, complete]

🍅🌸🍅🌸🍅🌸

The Long Way Home By: the general girl

Sakura finds Sasuke again in Wind Country five years after the war, when he is supposed to be dead and she is supposed to be beyond caring. Neither have been very good at meeting expectations. [Rated T, complete]

🍅🌸🍅🌸🍅🌸

this is how you lose her By: wistfulwhispers 

and that's when you know it's over. as soon as you start thinking about the beginning, it's the end. for most people, at least. [Rated K+, complete]

🍅🌸🍅🌸🍅🌸

Three Months Overdue By: silence.like.sleeping 

There is nothing worse than waiting. Unless you fear that you're waiting in vain. [Rated T, complete]

🍅🌸🍅🌸🍅🌸

time spent By: sincerelyLen / @sincerelylen

Uchiha Sasuke is not oblivious to how popular Haruno Sakura has become over the years. Once in their lives, she tried to spend most of her free time solely with him. However, years later, Sasuke begins to feel a frustrating displeasure rise when he realizes how happily she splits her time with others, especially those who are not a part of the immediate Team Kakashi. [Rated K+, complete] ❣

🍅🌸🍅🌸🍅🌸

yours, forevermore  By: DeepPoeticGirl  / @xxlovendreamsxx He never meant to hurt her, but he did. He never meant for things to fall apart so bad, but they did. And now, even five years later, as he holds the Hokage seat and finds himself juggling more responsibilities than he can bear, Sasuke still tries to find a way to make things right. Hokage!Sasuke AU. [Rated M, complete]

——————————————————————————

Well, I hope you find what you are looking for in this list!

And if you enjoyed these stories, make sure to leave some love & feedback. 💕

P.S.: I’m slowly going through other asks and prompts as I have free time after work and when my computer allows it - I’m still having some issues :(

~ Happy Reading & Stay Safe!

xoxo

#SasuSaku #theredconversegirl answers things #nonny #ss fics #Sakura Haruno #Sasuke Uchiha #fic rec list #angst #with happy ending #sasusaku fics #theredconversegirl recommends

536 notes · View notes

quartercirclejab · 4 years

Text

final fantasy music hot takes

so a lot of you people who are new to the FF scene may not realize this but there was a time when FF music was actually sort of hard to come by stateside. soundtrack releases were not common in the USA, and the internet had not yet become the all-powerful resource it is today- painstakingly composed (but technologically primitive) .MIDI files were about the best any of us could do for a long, long time (SHOUTOUTS TO MY VGMUSIC.COM HOMIES)

around the mid-2000′s, that began to change as, thanks to Tokyopop’s (remember them?) licensing agreement, soundtracks began to pop up at American retailers dealing in more obscure tunes. the rising tide of FF’s musical popularity came to a head with the announcement of the Dear Friends concert tour

the Dear Friends tour was kind of the predecessor to the Distant Worlds tour that we enjoy today, SE’s first tentative exploration into the world of live performances of Final Fantasy music. i was fortunate enough to see this concert in 2005, and it was one of the most breathtaking things i’d ever seen at the time. to hear this music played live was one thing- to hear it re-arranged for a full orchestra? that was revolutionary

so fast-forward to 2020. what is the state of Final Fantasy music? simply put, it is now ubiquitous. soundtracks spanning the entirety of Final Fantasy’s history are available for free through Spotify, YouTube, and a hundred-thousand other easily accessible sources, and a sizable remix community has emerged around these songs that is growing every day

but you know what i’ve noticed?

when it comes to remixes and rearrangements that bring something fresh and revolutionary to the table, the fans are the ones pushing the envelope and putting out the truly interesting stuff.

what is Square-Enix themselves doing? well... it’s largely the same thing they’ve been doing for the last 15 years: huge, sweeping orchestral arrangements made for elegant music halls and dramatic conductors. in 2005, this was groundbreaking stuff- in 2020, when EVERY new FF game is released with a full orchestral soundtrack? it’s utterly standard, and, yes i’ll say it, boring

so here’s my hot takes on how Square-Enix can change their live performances for the better in the new decade

1. PUT THE CLASSICS OUT TO PASTURE

by far, the biggest thing holding Square-Enix back is an attachment to their most well-known work. it’s time to let that go and start exploring some deeper cuts. yes, i’m talking about “One-Winged Angel”, “The Oath”, “Dancing Mad”, “The Dreadful Fight”, “Apocalypse Noctis”, “Liberi Fatali”, “Torn from the Heavens”, all those classics that get constant play while lesser known works get overlooked. IT’S 2020, BRAND RECOGNITION IS SECURE. BE BOLD. PLAY THE DEEP CUTS. GIVE ME A NEW ARRANGEMENT OF “LUCA” OR “THE MAKER’S RUIN” OR “MINING TOWN” GODDAMMIT

2. CHILL OUT WITH THE ORCHESTRAS AND THE CHOIRS

as mentioned above, this stuff that was once seen as revolutionary is now old hat, and it’s frankly getting dull at this point. IT IS NO LONGER ACCEPTABLE TO TAKE A SONG THAT WAS ALREADY ORCHESTRAL TO BEGIN WITH, DO A NEW ORCHESTRAL VERSION, THROW UNNECESSARY CHOIR ACCOMPANIMENT IN THERE AND CALL IT DONE, YES I AM LOOKING DIRECTLY AT YOU, “PRIMAL JUDGMENT” FROM DISTANT WORLDS IV. this series has a long and storied history with unusual instruments- use them! bust out the synthesizers! get interesting! CALM DOWN WITH THE LATIN CHANTING, IT IS NOT AS IMPRESSIVE AS IT WAS IN 1997

3. RETIRE THE OLD WARHORSES

and yes, i am talking directly about longtime director Arnie Roth and longtime vocalist Susan Calloway. i love their work and always will, but it has been 15 years, i think it’s long past time to cede the floor to a new generation and see what new interpretations they can come up with

4. INVOLVE THE FANS

this is the real spicy take here, but it’s the absolute truth and SE needs to recognize it: Final Fantasy music and live performances of it are popular today because fans kept it alive in the years before this stuff was commercially available. fan remixes are often some of the most inventive arrangements there are (vs SE’s official rearrangements, many of which are the same ones they’ve been using for 15 years), and they’re being made with all the love in the world for this franchise. isn’t it time to acknowledge that?

not that i expect anything to come of me shouting into the void on my lil blog in the middle of nowhere, please look forward to DISTANT WORLDS VI which will contain 15 versions of “ONE-WINGED ANGEL”

#final fantasy #final fantasy music #dear friends #distant worlds

30 notes · View notes

scripting-life · 4 years

Text

FFVII: returning to my first love

*peeks out of the corner of my lurking spot*

Hello? Anybody out there? It’s only been, oh you know, four-ish years since the last time I’ve posted anything here. I apologize in advance for anybody who’s still following me from my Castle days. If you couldn’t tell from my extended absence, I’ve mostly moved on. Castle and Beckett were fantastic characters that let me to play with some deep-dive analyses, and Castle will always hold a special place in my heart as my comfort show and my first real and extended experience with online fandom. I’ll always be grateful to the community I’ve had the joy of interacting with (or, the community with which I’ve had the joy of interacting, as Castle would correct me my dangling preposition).

I honestly didn’t think I would ever have reason to come back to Tumblr after Castle ended. But the FF7 Remake has returned me to my very first love--when I was young and innocent and before I knew anything about OTPs or ship wars. I’ve been back lurking for several months now and seeing all the fanart/fanfics and fun theories and analyses has reignited my enthusiasm for the FF7 franchise. It’s also fun coming back to this franchise with a more mature understanding of the themes/concepts that completely flew over my head as a young preteen.

(This ended up being super long, so the rest is below the cut to spare everyone the pain of scrolling. Apparently, my rambling tendencies have not changed at all. lol.)

When FF7R was officially announced (five freaking years ago!), I was filled with apprehension. FF7 was my first taste of a “grown-up” game. I was 11 and played my brother’s copy of the OG on PC in 1-2 hours spurts on the weekends when I visited his apartment. It took me months, if not years, to finish the game (I ended up stealing his copy to play on our computer at home...lol), and I was so blown away by it. I remember the exact moment I finished it and how I was literally shaking as I watched the ending FMV.

Later, when I found out my brother had a copy of FF8 (my poor brother was so accommodating to his annoying little sister...haha), I was so excited to play, in large part because I thought it would continue the story of FF7. Young, naive me didn’t understand the numbering conventions of Final Fantasy titles. I was madly theorizing and breaking my brain trying to find connections between the two games’ plots and had literally played through more than half the game before I finally realized the storyline of FF8 had absolutely nothing to do with FF7. I was sorely disappointed, and I think that has somewhat tainted my appreciation of future titles. Not to say I haven’t enjoyed the subsequent FF titles, but I think a little part of me is always comparing them to that first experience of wonder and awe that I had with FF7.

I discovered fanfiction in my teens and starting writing FF7/Cloti fics in college. Aside from interacting with a few fic writers at the time, I was not involved in any online communities, so I kept myself pretty free of any ship war drama and the like. When I did research for my fics, I’d sometimes see shipping sites and theories where I didn’t always understand the logic of how certain conclusions were reached, but frankly, I didn’t much care and didn’t realize that Clerith vs. Cloti was such a touchy subject. I was peripherally aware that some sort great LTD war was waging, of course, but it didn’t really touch me. I stayed in my Cloti shipping/fic-writing lane and was probably a lot happier for it. And, to be honest, based on FFN’s listings for FF7, I felt like I always saw a bunch of Sephiroth/Cloud fics and thought that was just as popular as the more conventional ships.

Graduating college and entering “real life” pretty much ended my FF7 fanfic-writing journey. In the intervening years between college and the release of FF7R, I haven’t gone back to the OG too much. I’ve played almost all the Final Fantasy games since then, and I always enjoy getting my FF7 crew fix when I play the non-canon mobile games or the Kingdom Hearts franchise. But FF7 was a happy part of my teenage years, and I was content to think on it with sweet nostalgia.

Remakes, in recent experience (*cough cough* Disney, why?), have been hit or miss, with a lot of misses. It’s hard to strike a good balance between catering to nostalgia and delivering a fresh product, never mind the change in social mores through the decades. I was so afraid FF7R would screw up my memories, especially since I wasn’t the biggest fan of Advent Children. The graphics were great and the action scenes were fun, but the story felt like a let-down. Cloud, in particular, felt so different (and yes, moody) from where we left him after the OG. I understand now that a lot of his character motivation was better explained in the On The Way to a Smile novels, but back then, I just felt like AC came out of nowhere.

Btw, because I see this question a lot on other blogs when I’m lurking, I’ve ALWAYS thought that it was very clear in AC--even without reading anything else--that the reason for Cloud’s depression was due to guilt and not because he was pining for Aerith. The only reason I didn’t like his characterization in AC was because it felt like it came out of nowhere since AC is set 2 years after OG and by the end of the OG, he seemed to be in a pretty decent place mentally and emotionally. That being said, I can absolutely understand why some traumas resurface years after the originating incident and how times of peace might actually be worse because he is no longer solely focused on saving the world, but I was just surprised and a little bummed that this was the direction the devs chose to take AC at the time. Now that I’m older, I do better appreciate the complexities of Cloud’s mental state and the fact that they depicted a hero with lingering mental health issues is actually pretty awesome. I’m drawn to characters that have flaws--sometimes serious ones--but try their best anyway. Hence, why why Tifa Lockhart and Kate Beckett are some of my all-time favorites.

Anyhow, that didn’t stop me from pre-ordering FF7R, of course. I avoided reading any reviews as I didn’t want my first impressions to be swayed, and boy, was I happy that I went in mostly blind. That sense of awe really almost felt like playing the OG for the first time again, but somehow more. The combat system is incredibly fun and the world-building is nothing short of incredible. The variety and abundance of NPCs gives the game so much flavor and the locations have been rendered so well. As I’m going through areas like the Sector 7 train station and Wall Market and Aerith’s house, I can almost superimpose the layout from the OG in my head, but now it’s in 3D and so rich and full. It’s obvious that a lot of attention was paid to details, and I love all the head-nods and homages to the OG.

And oh, the characters!

This is the Cloud I’ve been wanting to see in glorious HD and the Cloud I remember from the original game: all awkward, dorky trying to be cool, socially inept, mentally unstable, abrasive-at-times, reluctant to act depending on who’s asking, wannabe hard-ass who’s actually a big softie inside Cloud. I remember reading an article a few years back about how the devs basically redid Cloud for the Remake because they wanted him to go back to his dorky roots--which ends up making him closest to his personality in the OG than his appearances in other franchises--and I was SOOOO incredibly happy to hear that. I was so sick of the way Cloud was constantly depicted as this cool, broody McBrood in his cameos when he was a pretty big dork in the OG. (Anybody remember him doing squats in the Highwind when Tifa says it’ll be lonely with just the two of them and Cloud responds that he’ll make enough noise to make up for it? Like I said: cute, but a dork.)

I WAS surprised by how comfortable and sweet and touchy (so very very touchy) the devs made him with Tifa from the beginning. That initial scene of Cloud being such a smooth operator giving Tifa the flower had my jaw-dropping and every single flirty interaction after that (and there are many) had my Cloti heart overflowing in shock and bliss. Throughout most of my years as a Cloti shipper, even though I believed Cloti was supported by canon and pretty clearly together, I was also under the impression--mistakenly or not--that Cloti was the minority ship. So for Square Enix to make it so blatantly obvious that Cloud is really into Tifa at such an early stage has been an unexpected gift.

Also, they’re just really hot together. (Clotiscrew tunnel--be still my heart!)

As for Tifa...oh, what wonderful character development we’ve already gotten for Tifa. Tifa has always been one of my all-time favorite characters ever since reading her character blurb in the OG game manual. Initially, as a child, it was because I saw so much of myself in her. She was outwardly bright and optimistic, but tended to hide all of her stronger feelings inside. She fought with her fists, and for someone who was a tomboy growing up who liked playing contact sports with the boys, I connected with her in a way that I had never been able to connect with other female protagonists who were primarily back-row specialists. (I also aspired to grow to her listed height of 5′4″, which alas, did not happen...lol).

I love how the Remake delves into more of Tifa’s moral conflict between the destruction that she causes as part of Avalanche and needing to do something to stop Shinra, and yes, even seeking revenge. They touched on this in the OG lightly, but the Remake really hammers it home. She’s perhaps the most conflicted character in terms of motivation in Part 1. That scene with the Shinra manager on the train is actually one of my favorite scenes of her because it highlights that tension. The elevator scene, if you opted for it instead of the stairs (or if you did one, saved, and reloaded to do the other one, like me), is also underrated in terms of how much it reveals about Tifa’s inner struggle.

On this point, I also appreciate that the Remake has the characters reflecting on the damage they’ve both indirectly and directly inflicted--the Avalanche team all do this to a certain degree. In particular, Jessie’s constant inability to figure out what she’d done wrong with the bomb to cause such a massive explosion and her remaining feelings of guilt during her death scene (”they were my victims” ouch!) were heart-breaking.

Aerith’s depiction was another pleasant surprise. I’ll be honest; I didn’t much like her in the OG. She was too pushy and willfully oblivious to the point of being mean at times. In the Remake, much of her sometimes too in-your-face playfulness was kept--perhaps still a little too much--but I appreciate the nuance that they gave her. The train graveyard scene tells the player that she didn’t have friends growing up, and I think that partially contributes to her lack of social tact at times. The other factor that gives her personality more nuance is the hint of special knowledge that affects how she interacts with the rest of the group. It gives her additional hidden motivation and adds to her mystery for new players while simultaneously pulling at the heartstrings for old players who get the impression that Aerith is somehow aware--to a certain, unknown extent--of her own fate.

I also appreciate that Aerith is more grounded as a real person than as some sort of revered being. I do blame AC for some of that. When you have the power to cure a fatal disease from the afterlife and send the dead back to life, it gets into some godlike territory. Maybe it’s a fair depiction of her powers as a Cetra, but I just get the feeling that Aerith herself wouldn’t really appreciate being made into this goddess-like figure. Remember that her character blurb in the original game manual implied that she was more interested in earthly things (i.e. the love triangle) than in exploring her own powers. I personally think that Aerith used the “love triangle” in the OG as a form of escapism from the weight of her burdens rather than genuine interest, and I just think she’d want to be thought of as a person rather than as a god. One of my favorite scenes for Aerith is when she and Cloud are traversing the rooftops and she slips on the ladder, letting out a simple, “Shit.” It humanizes her in a way that combats some of the ways she’s sort of been deified in the last 23 years. Also, Aerith wielding a folding chair like it’s WWE never fails to make me laugh. Overall, she just comes off as a more reasonably flawed and--as a result, to me--a more likeable character in the Remake, and I do very much like her now.

Barret is pretty much the exact larger than life character I imagined in my head, only somehow even better, and I really love how expressive and emotional his eyes and facial expressions are. His scenes with Marlene are truly the cutest thing ever. Red XIII is a big, furry ball of sass, and I need so much more of him in the coming parts (Cosmo Canyon still wrecks me to this day). The interactions between the Wedge, Biggs, and Jessie are incredible, and they really feel like people who’ve been friends and basically each other’s family for years. The Turks and Rufus are pretty much as cool as I imagined them in the OG.

There’s still so much more I haven’t even started touching on about the Remake, and I think that’s why I’m finally posting this now. I just can’t contain my love for this game any more, and I really really need a place to express myself. I don’t know if anybody is still reading, but I appreciate having the opportunity to finally gush about this game and franchise that I’ve loved so much for pretty much two-thirds of my life.

#ff7r #final fantasy 7: remake #cloti #cloud x tifa #cloud strife #tifa lockhart #final fantasy vii #final fantasy 7 #ff7 #aerith gainsborough #jessie rasberry #barret wallace #red xiii #for the love of the game #personal experience #not sure i'm ready to wade back into fandom life #but i really needed to gush #oh man i forgot to mention the cats #how could i forget the cats?!?!?

5 notes · View notes

kyouminaine · 4 years

Note

what is the most overrated ship, in your opinion?

ship asks | @aonemanarmy

Before I get started, let me make this clear: I don’t hate this ship. I actually like it. It’s cute and I enjoy the interactions between them. When I played the Remake, I greatly enjoyed how the two interacted and how they played off each other. However... I do think sometimes it gets blown up into more than it is.

I’m talking about our favored blond mercenary and the flower maiden. (I’m not using the official ship name because I’m tired of getting shit on by random people digging through Tumblr’s search feature looking for blood.)

I have quite a bit I can say about why I think it’s overrated but ultimately it boils down to the fandom itself. I’ve bounced around different fandoms over the years, but VII is one I’ve never given up when I first played the game back during its original release. The ship war then was much more linear, and it certainly hasn’t died, especially now that old fans have returned with the Remake’s release. Newer fans who either didn’t play any of the other games or only joined after playing CC and/or watching AC have entered the fray and that war has become a chaotic knot of people seeking representation, pushing forth certain ideals, or even attempting to stitch up old wounds by bringing in new twists or pairings.

I’m fine with people shipping their own thing. What you like and what I like may be the same or it may not be, I don’t mind. Diversity is a good thing. I enjoy it. But here’s the thing: just because you’re allowed to like something doesn’t mean you can shove it down someone else’s throat or completely disregard the value of a different ship just to bolster the validity of yours. I don’t know how many posts I’ve seen across the internet --- here on Tumblr, Twitter, gamer sites, review videos, you name it --- pushing for this ship as being considered the best ship in FF existence. This is an issue I’ve seen crop up a lot since the Remake came out and I imagine it won’t die anytime soon, so I’ve kinda just accepted its existence.

I’m not saying every fan of this ship is a bad person. That would be like shooting myself in the face since I like the ship too. I just wish certain groups or individuals who adore that ship would just... idk, tone it down a little? Let other ships have a chance to breathe? Accept that other relationships have validity as well? I suppose it’s nice to think that fairy tale, Disney-esque destined/fated love is a thing, but I believe in logic and practicality when it comes to ships and a concept like that is bullshit to me. Love comes and goes, partners change, it’s okay to be hurt, it’s okay to move on.

These two characters have a right to fall in love during their journey. They should be allowed to explore that level of partnership. It’s just that certain fanatics can make it hard to properly enjoy that ship when all I’m hearing is a brat trying to beat down all other opinions and trash talk the value of those other relationships. (How am I supposed to openly admit I like the ship when I might be categorized with the same brats? How can I critique it without someone wanting to rip my throat out? I don’t like that sort of headache...)

Again, this ship won’t be one I’ll ever hate. I’ll just get very annoyed at those certain people who need their megaphone thrown in a trash compactor.

#aonemanarmy #{ one missed call } | asks #{ 1 phoenix down } | ooc

2 notes · View notes

divagonzo · 4 years

Text

Metamorphosis

Ao3 // LJ // FF.net

A/N: Posted Originally for Smutty Claus (and I’d held off because someone wanted to run a Ginuarry fest (which didn’t happen.) So enjoy some seriously smutty goodness of my OT3. (Note: FF version is censored to R rated since they are Closed Minded Karens don’t allow MA ratings on works, the bastards.)

Tagging @princesserica84 for reasons. Not Ace Safe. Rated MA / NC-21 / E / 18+.

Summary: After the battle of Hogwarts and after Ginny and Luna finished their formal education, living arrangements weren’t so clear-cut and normative. But what is normal when Luna Lovegood is involved? She has to tell her lovers and best friends that she’s breaking up with both of them to see if whom she has met while out exploring the world is a potential match.

Warnings: Indirect mentions of war-time events under the reign of terror with the Carrows. Direct mentions of homophobia and some self-loathing regarding a character’s sexual orientation.

Give me my demarcation line, damn it!

"Aunt Luna?"

She looked up from her copy of the Quibbler, looking over her multi-coloured glasses perched on the end of her nose. "Yes, dear?" While the years had been quite kind to her, minor infirmities were catching up, including needing stronger lenses in her multi-coloured glasses.

Lily Luna, now 15 going on 25 and still as curious as she was at 5, kept twisting her fingers with nervous agitation. "How did you meet Uncle Rolf? How did you know it was serious between you?"

"I was wondering when you were going to ask me that question," Luna glanced towards the doorway of the Potter cottage, seeing Ginny standing there giving a quizzical look. "And I think 15 is a good age to finally explain what happened, that is if your Mum agrees. What do you think Ginny?"

Lily Luna looked from her Aunt – Her Godmother and Aunt in all but blood but, as Daddy repeatedly told her, Family isn't necessarily blood but a choice. Facial expressions danced between the two women, faster than thought and maybe in line with using Legilimens between the two witches.

A lifetime later, or what seemed to be a lifetime, and Ginny relaxed before blowing a breath out. "Go ahead," Ginny spoke up, "And I'll be back shortly to answer other questions that I know are going to come up. But first, let me freshen up your tea. I know you're going to need it. While you're talking I'll pop over to the butcher for a beef roast for dinner."

Ginny disappeared for a few moments before returning with a pot of tea, a plate of biscuits, and some Ginger Newts for Luna. Luna had told her previously that Ginny made the best Ginger Newt she ever got, either at home or out on her travels. Ginny only made them when Luna was going to visit or stay a short while at the Potter cottage.

"It's a taste of home," she'd say often.

Ginny poured tea for two, and Lily Luna sat back watching in awe as she watched Mum and Aunt Luna quietly converse. One word escaped the conversation that left her boggled – "Everything?" Luna asked before Ginny said yes. "I will," Luna said back before Ginny planted a kiss on Luna's forehead and a very tender one on the lips. She left without saying anything else.

"The bloody hell is this about? Dad knows about this?" Lily Luna screeched.

"That, my dear, is part of the story. You asked and you shall learn. And yes, your father knows. He's always known."

Another demarcation line if you please!

Harry stepped out of the fireplace, exhausted from another gruelling training session in the field. Merlin knows that Robards was a bastard for scheduling it in the bloody middle of winter, in Scotland of all places, but to have it last a week was just too damn much. He threw down his rucksack onto one of the couches, seeing the stack of books on the table nearest to the fireplace. Hermione always kept a small stack there for the nights when the guys were working and Ginny was off at Holyhead. He looked at the table next to the couch, where an enormous stack of Quidditch Weekly magazines was thrown haphazardly. Ron and Ginny enjoyed reading them but Ginny wasn't as tidy for caring for them as Ron is, with the colour spreads laying over the arm of the couch or inside the crevices. On the table was an empty tray, crumb strewn plates of late-night snacks of cake and biscuits, or fresh fruit that Ginny was mandated during the season.

Not that he minded at all, not when her body looked absolutely incredible with her robes on the floor of their bedroom and her on top of him, riding him until he passed out.

And on the other table was a stack of Quibblers, some old and some recent. Luna, Merlin keep her, read everything she could get her fingers on. She'd already read everything in their personal library including some of the things that Hermione would bring home for her from the Muggle Library. She'd even read some of the darker history items in the private library which Harry refused to pick up after Hermione told them one night over dinner of some of the things she'd come across in her job and had to reference the material for a case study.

He absolutely loved his family, his found family. Vernon and Petunia might be called his family but he'd not called on them once, not since they drove away with Dudley that day before he turned 17. He didn't miss them at all. It would be like missing an ingrown toenail that had never been tended to, or needing glasses and never getting them. Some things related to his family were left to turn farrow and wither away.

But he did miss the two incredible witches probably fast asleep in their communal bed upstairs, one floor below the landing where Ron and Hermione had their room.

Officially, for anyone who asked, Luna's room was up on the top floor, up under the eaves, with enough room for her to paint and do magical art, at least when she was home. Her home wasn't the Lovegood residence, and it hadn't been since the war ended. While her father had been finally released from Azkaban, Luna and Xenophilius hadn't repaired their relationship yet, not enough where Luna felt comfortable to reside under her father's roof once more. 'How could I when you were willing to sell out Harry to save me?' she'd said in a row with him.

He doubted Luna ever would live there again.

Harry offered Neville to live at Grimmauld Place with the rest of Harry's chosen family but Neville, Merlin love him, rented a room far above the Leaky Cauldron, up under the roof overlooking Diagon Alley. After the events at Hogwarts that fateful night, Neville said that he couldn't stay with his grandmother ever again and staying with Harry was just too busy for him.

Sometimes the house was too busy even for him. While it wasn't as noisy as the Burrow, Grimmauld Place had its own energy with so many people living elbow to elbow in the middle of London. He still saw Neville at work nightly, doing paperwork like the rest of them, chasing leads and going out on missions trying to track down the remaining Death Eaters who had escaped that night. Other times he was in the Potions lab, working on something secret for Director Robards.

Harry toed off his grotty trainers and yanked off his robes and jacket, hanging them on the coat rack by the door to the hallway.

While Sirius hated the home and everything it represented, and Harry couldn't blame him in the least, Harry, along with Arthur, Molly, Neville, and Kingsley had transformed the crypt of a house into a welcoming residence for anyone who needed a place to stay. At some point in the last three years, almost everyone who had been in Dumbledore's Army had crashed at the Potter residence. Dean and Seamus would owl ahead first when they were going to be in or near London. He hadn't realized what they two of them meant to one another until Luna, in Luna candid honest fashion, mentioned how she and Dean had broken it off because Well, it's not like I'm interested in Dean sexually but Seamus is and speaks quite openly about it. Who was I to interfere? Anyway, we're still friends even if we aren't copulating anymore.

The only ones who hadn't crashed at the Potter home for wayward Wizards and Witches were Lavender, Parvati, and Padma. The three of them shared a flat off of Diagon Alley. He hadn't known for a year that Lavender and Parvati were an item and it was serious. Padma? She was too busy working to bother, so she said. Harry had no reason to doubt her since she was at work in the Law Enforcement office more than Hermione was at her work desk.

Harry went downstairs to the basement kitchen and the long table they all shared meals at – when they were actually home. Kreacher was snoring hoarsely, cutting logs from the cupboard he made as his own flat. It made Harry's soul ache in traumatic memory but Kreacher said it was spacious and cosy, so he said often. On the shrunken door was the bright green and silver R badge that was previously affixed upon Regulus' door upstairs – at least until Harry removed it and gave it to Kreacher who asked for it to be on his door to his residence. Out of respect, Harry and anyone else living at Grimmauld Place would knock first and wait. Kreacher said it was never necessary but Harry insisted.

A huge helping of Cottage Pie was under a warming charm on the table, along with the beer and pumpkin juice he knew was in the cooling cabinet. Those would wait. He needed to see Ginny and probably Luna, too. They were rarely apart when they were both home, with and without him in bed with them.

When he was off at work, or out on an extended mission, invariably he'd come home and find the two witches snuggled in the shared bed, fast asleep. He didn't need to know that Ron and Hermione were asleep as well since 3 am was even too early for Hermione to be up and starting her day – and too late for Luna to still be up.

As he squeezed the Holly and Phoenix feather wand in his hand, he apparated up thirty feet to the landing outside his bedroom landing with a barely audible pop. He stepped into the loo across the landing and took care of washing a week's grime off of him and checking to see if the Healer had done their job properly. His job wasn't always a pushover and sometimes he and Ron would get hurt but tonight he was most fortunate. He was coming home in one piece, missing the women in his life fiercely, and ready to remedy that in so many ways. Ron had the week off, a result of the last mission when he was out with Smith for a fortnight chasing down leads.

He tossed the heavy cotton towel into the bin in the corner and threw on the heavy robe for the short walk across the landing. Too many accidents happened by seeing one or another out of their kit, much to his chagrin, that everyone kept a housecoat or three in the corresponding bathroom.

One tap on the knob of the bedroom door and he slipped inside, using his wand as a torch to see the room.

Luna had taken to heart to decorate every occupied room in the house, painting each in a way that made you feel the love of what a home meant to him. The Kitchen was in a spring Green with magical flowers blowing all around the walls, while the attic space that Luna used for her art, was a nightscape, in obsidian blue with little stars that aligned with how the stars rotated in the nighttime sky. The parlour was a warm reddish-brown, complementing the piecemeal furniture that they'd picked up here and there after tossing the rest of the decrepit moth-eaten furniture that probably been in the home a hundred years if not longer. Hermione showed a talent for scavenging the charity shops to find what they needed for the pittance they were all paid at the Ministry.

His room was an eclectic mix of brown and green and a hue of orange that Luna called "Ginny's hair." Somehow she'd made it work in their room, looking like the sunrise over Stoatshead Hill. He'd spent many a morning on that hill, watching the sunrise when he couldn't sleep, with Luna joining him with some tea, sitting quietly with him.

As he expected, Ginny and Luna were asleep in bed. His mind raced ahead, imagining Ginny wearing a pair of knickers and nothing else and Luna in her thin cotton nightgown that left little to the imagination. He dropped his robe on the floor on his side of the bed, wearing only his skin, and slid the glasses off too, placing them gently on the side table. With his wand, he lifted the bedclothes and slid into the immediate warmth of the bed and proceeded to tuck his wand under his pillow.

One calloused hand reached back for him, finding his stomach first. He wiggled across the bed to spoon up next to Ginny, feeling her unclothed arse pressing his manhood down.

"Happy to see you too, love," Harry whispered into her ear, smelling the cherry vanilla shampoo she preferred to use after practice. "Sorry about the time," his hand snaked across her warm ribs before collecting a handful of one ample breast. His own calloused fingertips worked over the tip of her breast, feeling it harden almost immediately. He swallowed hard; thinking of what he wanted to do yet Luna was there too, sleeping soundly on the other edge of the bed. While Luna never wavered and Ginny would roll her eyes, he felt butterflies about their living arrangement, having two women sharing his bed when he was in bed.

"She came to bed late. She won't wake, probably," Ginny leaned her head back to give Harry access to her neck. He dropped soft kisses on it, praying that Luna didn't wake. Not that he'd mind having both witches this morning but as knackered as he was, he might not last to satisfy both of them, at least the way he felt they deserved.

"I'm awake," Luna's soft voice startled both of them. "I wasn't quite asleep. I was dreaming and heard Harry rustling in the room," Luna rolled over onto her other side, looking at the two of them spooned up with one another. "You have your glasses off and are fondling her breast." Luna smiled that soft one that made him feel like he was 13 and didn't know how to talk to girls not named Hermione. "You start without me. I need to use the ladies'," she rolled back over and slid out of bed, wearing her thin nightgown and nothing else. She had her wand in her own hand, using the tip like a torch too as she padded out of the room to the loo across the landing.

"You heard her," Ginny smirked before rolling onto her back, giving Harry a look he guessed was a cheeky grin. It was hard to tell with his glasses off and only the streetlights through the curtains that gave any light in the darkened room. Ginny reached up and found a handful of scruffy beard and pulled him down onto her very welcoming body. He fell into her embrace, feeling the burning in his soul ready to set fire to his brain and his bollocks.

With her knees spread and her feet planted on the bed, Harry shifted and felt how slick she already was. Sadly he still didn't have the endurance he wanted, barely lasting two minutes on their first go. Fortunately Ginny was always hungry for him.

He felt her calloused fingers grip him, guiding him into her welcoming body. "Fuck," he groaned as he slid home, feeling every ridge embrace him in glorious ways. "Shit, this feels too good," he grunted, moving too fast already. He wasn't going to last at all tonight, not this first time. It had been too long, even with wanking to take some edge off.

"We have all morning. I don't have practice today. It is Monday, after all."

Something about Mondays was important but he couldn't be arsed to think of it at the moment, focusing only on Ginny. He bent his head down to take a breast into his mouth, sucking hard enough to make her grunt in response.

The band tightened, and wound up even more before exploding, forcing stars in his eyes and to blackout a moment.

When his breathing returned to some semblance of normal, and the room wasn't spinning like he was apparating without a license, he heard noises that sounded like lips smacking and high pitched moans. He reached for his glasses and shoved them on his face and saw Ginny and Luna a foot away on the bed, wrapped up in their own embrace. Luna had removed her nightgown, leaving her clad only in her skin and the pale light of bluebell fire in glassware on the tables.

He'd rolled onto his left side to watch the two witches have their early morning bits of fun. Each of them was an example of the beautiful feminine form, different yet both exquisite. While Ginny was endowed with ample curves and so much strength in her body from flying a broom at breakneck speeds for hours on end, Luna had fewer curves and more evocative in how she could just touch him and set sparks off. The paleness of her breasts contracted with the dusting of ginger freckles across Ginny's breasts and chest, making the various scars both of them had from the year from Hell with the Carrows disappear in the soft blue lights. But it wasn't how fierce they both were but the tenderness they shared with him. He would cry if he could articulate how each had their own magical touch with him. Luna was soft and evocative while Ginny was all passion and aggressiveness. Some mornings he wanted to be taken, tossed on the bed while lying back enjoying everything. Others he'd want four hands on him, barely touching to drive him spare. Luna though had it down to a science; her touch had magic he couldn't explain. But Ginny said the same thing, that Luna had a way about her that no one else had. She'd shrug, not understanding how she had such an effect on both of them, and continue with what she was doing.

Maybe it was just Luna and that was the extent of the possible explanation. He wasn't going to complain that two witches found him worth sharing his bed.

Luna reached out from snogging Ginny to pull Harry closer to them. As Harry snuggled in closer, Ginny slid down further into the bedclothes, finding Luna a willing participant. Harry pulled her face close to kiss her while Ginny used her lips and hands on Luna's body, from breasts to bum. And what an arse she had, so soft and almost ethereal.

Harry's slumbering dick woke from the first nap, greedily anticipating what was going to happen. They could shag daily and he'd never grow tired of it. Tired but not tired of loving these wonderful witches. And those witches who were adamant in how much they appreciated him.

Harry shifted from next to them to straddling Ginny's legs. Luna turned her attention back to Ginny, kissing her delicately as she moved her body down and lifted her arse in the air. A Luna sandwich, he privately thought, as Ginny continued to kiss Luna, savouring each one on her lips, cheeks, neck, breasts and more while Harry slid into Luna's welcoming body.

She keened, feeling Harry pressing hard onto her hips while Ginny sucked on her breasts.

He enjoyed the arrangement, where Ginny had firsts and didn't mind he would only last a minute or so because they could settle in and give love, pleasure, and joy to Luna. She told them often that they didn't need to include her in their fornication activities, as she not so casually described it, but they still insisted that their relationship arrangement included her in every way. Their three-way relationship was more than just sex. It was the late-night meals, the occasional snog, sleeping together to keep away the nightmares, and cuddles too, aside from sex. They mutually agreed this wasn't an arrangement of Harry and Ginny and Ginny and Luna. He didn't know what it was called and didn't care except that they would love one another equally, as well as have sex.

He was most glad that there were some private benefits to the Man who Lived. He looked past her hips, seeing Ginny looking up at him, smirking at him. He mouthed witch and she nodded before returning to using her hands and mouth on Luna.

He turned his attentions back to Luna, giving her what she wanted or how she wanted him. Her appetite for sex was much less than Ginny's, where Luna was satisfied once a week if not less, Ginny needed him daily if not twice a day.

Small squeaks of pleasure erupted along with nonsensical words that neither of them understood, except that Luna was displaying her appreciation for them. The two women were so different when it came to lovemaking. Luna preferred it softer but also wanted him to last longer. She said that she enjoyed the moments when she had both of them to please and tease her. Ginny, though, she wanted it rough and hard and occasionally questionable. Those moments, when the nightmares and flashbacks got too intense for her, the questionable actions helped her cope and calm down. He hated she needed that from him yet loved that she trusted him completely to help her through it.

Ginny leaned out from under Luna's breasts and blew him a kiss and made an obvious invitation with her mouth before smirking again and disappearing under Luna's writhing body. Within moments, Luna was moaning like the ghoul in the Weasley attic and for better reasons.

Harry slowed down, almost stopping before Luna collapsed, falling onto her face into the bedclothes on his other side. As he caught his breath, waiting for the grand finale called Ginny, he watched them snogging before a strong hand pushed him onto his back. He turned to take his glasses off and rolled back onto his back. Ginny moved to straddle him. "Better than a broom and much more pleasant," she growled.

"Figured this would be what you wanted," he cheeked. He sought out her breasts, feeling the tips harden under his calloused fingers before giving a pinch and a twist.

"Shut it and fuck me," she growled. She leaned over, covering his face with her hair. "It won't take too long."

"And I thought you were wanting to go for hours."

"Cheeky bastard," she ground down on his hips and he threw his head back into the pillow feeling her already wound up from earlier.

The bed wobbled some, and he didn't need to see that Luna was leaving for the loo.

"Did she leave?" He asked as Ginny was attacking his neck and working her way down to his chest.

"Yes," she said between moments of sucking on his nips, "she always leaves until I'm done. I've asked and all she says is, 'I don't want to intrude.'"

Harry ran his hands up and down her body, feeling every muscle under her toned flesh. Ginger hairs, which he couldn't see even if he had his glasses on and every possible candle in the house lit in the room, stood up under his fingertips. Yet he ran them down the middle of her body, drifting lower and lower.

"That all you got, Harry?"

"Would you rather rub one out while I fondle your breasts?"

Ginny slowed a moment before starting back up in earnest. "I'll take care of me and you can play with the bludgers."

"They aren't," his hands worked back up her body, feeling each muscle in her stomach as she moved above his body. "They're more like soft Quaffles, and better to hold onto." He wet two fingers on each hand and set to work on her breasts, twisting and tweaking them. "Wish I'd left my glasses on. I love watching you."

"I'll put on a show later this morning for you if you want," her voice was growing haggard. He knew she was close. He felt her shudder, bringing him to the point of exploding yet again.

"Harry," her voice broke and he twisted her nipples hard. She quivered before shuddering, her torso spasming. "Fuck," her moan would have woken the house if they hadn't put silencing charms on every surface and floor. He kept going through her eruption, hearing her squeal until stars in his eyes went supernova.

Darkness enveloped him.

Laboured breathing permeated the room. Crass words erupted every now and then. Two distinct hands ran up and down his belly, with two heads nestled in the crux of his arms.

"I'm leaving Saturday morning," Luna said out loud to no one in particular.

Harry roused first from the sweat-drenched bedclothes, opening his eyes and turning to his left. "Saturday? Where are you going?"

"I've, um, I've been invited to go along an expedition in northern Brasil. There is a colony of lethifolds in the rainforest that another researcher wants to study, and to update the Fantastic Beasts book."

"And they want you along?" Ginny asked, finally.

"I was invited, yes. But this," Luna lazily waved her hand around the room, making small sparks of pink sparkles drift from her fingertips, "but the researcher knows that I am interested in magical creatures and have some knowledge about them and might be able to assist them during field observations." Luna blinked. She kept blinking, looking like she was fighting back tears. "It's Newt Scamander's grandson, Rolf, and I didn't want to tell either of you because I was afraid of hurting you."

"Hurting us? Why would you say that?" Harry asked first, reaching out but not touching, letting Luna make the move to hold hands. She did but kept looking across his chest at Ginny.

"Well, I met him on the last trip, the one where I went to Patagonia for a month. He was staying at the same residence I was in Viedma while on break from the desert exploration. We stayed up late talking and we talked so much about Magizoology and he's so interesting and we get along so well and I think I might fancy him."

"Really?" Ginny's voice went soft.

"I think so. I still have trouble making friends. It's hard." Her candour twisted Harry's heart once again. "People hear my name and think I'm a raving lunatic and I'm not. I'm Luna but not that. Rolf seemed interested in things I was talking about, asking questions and making notes about what we were talking about. He showed an interest and that made me feel, well, special. I've not felt that in years, probably before Mum died.

"We were out in the desert, in a little place called Estancia Tapi Aike, investigating a magical village's complaint about missing muggles and it possibly be the work of a Vipertooth so we were off to the mountains north of El Calafete and Lago Argentino trying to see if there was a dragon nesting in the mountains. We had been out for a week and he decided that he needed a good cold mountain bath. I," she smiled softly, "I saw him out of his shirt and pants in the water and I felt something stirring when I saw him. It surprised me greatly since I normally don't have those kinds of feelings except for both of you. Well, he saw me see him in the water and waved to me and I decided why not so I dropped my robes and everything else and joined him for a swim and a bath of my own. And I didn't want to tell either of you because it would be the end of this, what we have with one another. If I decide to fornicate him for mutual benefit, I didn't want either of you think less of me. If I do, then we can't do this anymore, and not be fair to everyone." Luna looked at the bedclothes covering Harry's lower half. "And I think I might do so if he asks."

"We never would," Harry spoke up instantly. Silence lay across the bed like an heirloom quilt.

Luna turned back towards Ginny who had gone quiet. "Ginny?"

"Ginny?" Harry asked as well.

They watched as her ears turned red and the flush crossed her face and down her throat. She sat up at the headboard; emotions racing across her face like the snitch had been spotted.

"Ginny, what is it? Tell me." Luna stole a glance at Harry who appeared befuddled. "Please," her request sounded like a heartfelt prayer.

"I," her words broke off in an instant. Nothing was uttered no matter how screwed up her expression was.

"I shouldn't have said anything," Luna felt pangs of regret. She guessed this was going to happen and she couldn't take Ginny's pain away. "You're not losing me. I'm still your friend. I still love you. We just won't have sex often, or at all, if I decide to have sex with him. It's not that sex interests me like a primal driving force but it might him since I've heard him groaning and grunting late at night or early in the morning." Luna smiled. "Harry at least tries to be quiet when he's masturbating." Harry's face turned into a round aubergine. "You're so polite." Luna sat up at the headboard too, leaving Harry to watch them upside down.

"I'm being selfish," Ginny muttered before ripping her hand across her own face. "I knew this wouldn't be a forever thing. Fuck, I tore everyone and everything apart because I couldn't choose who I loved more. I love both of you so much, in different yet similar ways, but making a choice was like, like picking which brother I like the most. How could I make that choice when both are as important as breathing to me? It's like asking me which hand I need more. You're both so important and - "

"You're not losing me," Luna touched Ginny's face with tenderness. Ginny leaned into the touch, closing her eyes to her touch. "We've talked about this and I told you that if I met someone, I would see what happens. It's nothing to do with you and everything to do with me. My love for you doesn't diminish."

"Yes I am and it hurts," Ginny wept. "We'll not have this again."

"That's probable but it doesn't mean I don't love you," Luna smiled and turned to Harry, "and you too, Harry. While I love you physically which I know you enjoy, my feelings for you are different than what I have for Ginny. I've never been bashful in telling you that."

"I know and I'm glad for it." Harry leaned in for a soft kiss on Luna's cheek.

Ginny rolled over to the side of the bed, her hair a mess and covered in sweat, pulling the covers off of her toned body. "I need a minute," she muttered before leaving the bedroom for the loo across the landing. The door slammed with a muffled sorry coming through the oaken door a second later.

"I didn't mean to hurt Ginny," Luna spoke softly in the early morning light. Noise from the bathroom – spraying water from the shower – drifted into the room. "But I knew it wasn't right if we had this and I started having a sexual relationship with someone else."

"She knows that," Harry got up from the bed and found pants along with sleep trousers and a vest to put on from the wardrobe. "And we agreed to that on the front end, Luna. That's what I appreciate about you – your honesty and that you always speak your mind. It's refreshing to have that. And I'm glad you've met someone and that it might be more. I hope he treats you exactly like you need and want."

"It might not be anything but it might be what I've wanted." The bedclothes settled down onto her lap.

Harry stole one last look before turning to the wardrobe to pull out a heavy housecoat. "And you should see what happens. We shouldn't be the reason that we keep you from finding your own happiness with someone." He pulled a purple floral one from the wardrobe and handed it to Luna.

It dropped to the bedclothes, lost in her own head. "I already am," Luna looked towards the door across the landing. "I hope she won't hate me for this. I can't lose her as a friend. I would grieve a lifetime if that happened."

"She won't," Harry said immediately. "She will cope like she does, by being a fiend on the Quidditch pitch. I feel sorry for Ballycastle the following match. She's going to be on a thunderous rampage on the pitch. I hate that you're going to miss it."

"It's not like I won't stay with you when I'm back home. I will be back in England sometime and can watch a match or two."

"You'll always have a home with us, Luna. I would never tell you otherwise."

"What if she doesn't want to see me again? What if she says no? I know I wouldn't like that at all."

"That's a pile of dragonshite," Ginny came back into the room wearing an oversized towel around her body and another on her head, drying her hair. "There's not a day in my life I won't want to see you. And it might hurt to not have this again, your happiness is more important than any selfishness I crave."

Luna stood up from the bed and saw Harry steal out of the room silently. She focused on Ginny, whom she loved more than she loved herself. "You're not being greedy. I've told you, it's never selfish or greedy to want love and from more than one person. It's a beautiful part that the human heart can love more than one person at the same time, in the same or different ways.

"I love you so much and am so thankful for you and that you are so giving." Luna opened her arms and Ginny fell into them, sharing a long moment standing in the middle of the room. She dropped soft kisses on Ginny's head, each one punctuated with a tear falling down her cheeks. Her tears would be for later over what she was walking away from them but these were for her best friend. "And I never said we wouldn't cuddle and kiss. It's sex that won't happen if that is what happens with Rolf. I won't know unless I ask and he agrees, right?" Luna felt the semblance of a head nod on her chest. "You know how thankful I am for you and Harry, helping me get over what happened that terrible year. I thought I'd never trust people that way again and you changed that for me." Luna felt the hug grow tighter on her ribs. She would never grow tired or weary of a hug from Ginny.

Moments passed, with both weeping silently. Luna loved being the small spoon most of the time but now she was the bigger spoon, holding her lover as she shuddered in her towels in the middle of the bedroom. Thank goodness hugs would always be there. Ginny's hugs were special, like a warm blanket wrapped around you on a cold night.

Ginny's stomach rumbled loudly in the silence, breaking the moment between them. "Damn it," she grumbled. "You'd think this thing wouldn't control my life so much."

Luna smiled before placing a very gentle kiss on her lips. "I'm sure Harry's downstairs cooking breakfast. Why don't you see if he has and I'll go get a shower? I'm dying to tell you about the upcoming trip."

Ginny took her hand and squeezed it hard. "When you come down, I want to hear everything, including about this bloke who has caught your eye. He has to be incredible for you to consider him as a friend and more than just a passing acquaintance."

"He might be, but he'll never be you." She smiled. "I love you, so much. Thank you for understanding."

"I love you too and I want you to be happy. I do."

Luna smiled. "I'll be happy if you don't eat all of the beans and toast."

Luna left the room to Ginny's laughter.

One last demarcation line

Luna leaned over to pour another cup of tea and pluck up the last remaining ginger newt. "And that is how I had to break it off with your Mum and Dad before starting a relationship with my eventual partner."

Lily Luna sat there holding a pillow in her lap, looking like she just finished writing a nasty essay involving Draught of Living Death. She kept shaking her head in what was probably attempting to process everything her Godmother shared with her.

"Aunt Luna, you never said how you started with my parents?"

Luna glanced over Lily Luna's shoulder and watched Harry and Ginny standing in the doorway to the foyer, smiling at her. She turned her attention back to her namesake. "That, my dear, is another story. I don't know if they want me to talk about that since it's related to things that happened during the war and after it. You might not be ready for it. I admit it's very complicated. Some things should never be discussed outside of family anyway."

"When do you think I'll be ready?"

Luna stole another glance and watched Harry and Ginny looking between one another, silently conversing as they'd learned to do in the previous 20 some odd years together. Lily Luna turned to see her parents non-verbally communicating with one another.

Harry spoke up first. "We'll talk about that over dinner."

"You're staying, right Luna?" Ginny asked almost on top of Harry.

"Of course. Harry's cooking feels like home. Are dirigible plums are on the dessert menu tonight?"

Ginny threw her head back in roaring laughter while Harry guffawed. "I'll see if I can pluck some on that ancient broom we keep in the shed."

"We have dirigible plums in our garden?"

"Of course we do. Aunt Luna planted them the week we moved into this home. That was her housewarming gift to us, and our promise to her that she'd always have a home with us, no matter where in the world she might be."

#Dragon's Fic #Hpfic #Ginuarry #Harry J Potter #Ginny Weasley #Luna Lovegood #Lily Luna Potter #mentions of Deamus and Romione #Rated 18 / MA / E / NC-21 #Not Ace Safe #Don't read at work if you're working #Read at home in your PJ's if you're like me and staying home out of recommendations #Yes I have the luxury of working from home #helps when you have your own micro business #Though I'm sure my income will crater next 2 months #Won't mind #Queue Up for the Dragon

3 notes · View notes

1-1snailxd-art · 5 years

Text

Libraries are for Meetings

Master List ------ Chapter 3

Chapter 4 - Leaving the Library

Warnings: Homophobia mentioned

Summary: Roman and Patton’s relationship may be new, but Patton is more important than he realises.

Note: reading on mobile can remove the paragraphing. Use desktop site or visit my Ao3 page if it bothers you as much as it bothers me.

Beginning Note: This chapter was meant to be longer, but I decided to split it because my mind just got stuck on an event. If you want to know what’s been happening, check the end notes (or don’t...I don’t mind) Enjoy 😊

————————————————–

Backing away from the library office, Roman did his best to keep up his strong and supportive facade. He needed to be Patton’s rock in this situation; and he wasn’t about to let his worry leach out and distress the man he loved any further.

********************

Roman and Patton had only been officially together for six months, but they had known of each other years prior. Jason used to speak highly of the energetic man who his partner lived with. There was a time when Roman was sure Jason was making things up. It seemed impossible that someone existed who was so kind, accepting and comfortable with themself; aside from Jason. Not long after Jason had moved in with Roman and Katie, he shared photos of him, Logan and Patton with Roman. If 'love at first sight' were real, Roman got hit hard.

"You're blushing, Roman." teased Jason, laying his hand over the photo. "Do you like what you see?"

"What? No!" Roman quickly averted his eyes and tried to stop the heat rising in his cheeks.

"Roman," tone suddenly serious; Jason rested a hand on Roman's shoulder. "You don't have to hide anything from me, remember?"

A few silent breaths later and Roman nodded, and Jason let his hand drop as Roman turned to stare out the nearby window.

Of all the people in Roman's life, Jason truly was someone who he didn't have to hide from. Jason announced that he was gay during a family Christmas when Roman was 10 years old. Sure, the family reaction wasn't the most welcoming or kind, but over time they accepted Jason for who he was. He paved the way. He took the hits, the hurt, the shame. He cleared the path of homophobia in the family; but that didn't make it any easier on Roman. Despite knowing that his family would accept him, just like they accepted Jason, he wasn't ready to say it out loud.

Roman hung his head down low as he realised how selfish he was being.

“You’re ok, Ro.” Jason rested a firm hand back on Roman’s shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. “There’s no shame in having feelings.”

In that moment, Roman wished he had long bangs to cover his eyes as he chanced a look up at Jason. Though he had just turned 18, Jason’s maturity outshone that of many older adults Roman had met. Behind those rich brown eyes, was the soul of a man that had been beaten and was determined to make sure no one else suffered alone.

Tears began to well in Roman’s eyes and Jason wasted no time, pulling his cousin into a secure embrace and refusing to let go as Roman’s shoulders shook with the emotional release.

It was just a photo. It was just a feeling. It was ok, but it still felt wrong. Regardless of Jason’s assurance, Roman couldn’t help but feel shame. He could remember how people spoke about Jason. He could recall the looks of disgust his uncle gave when backs were turned. The side comments and remarks that Roman picked up on regularly.

Strangely, even now, Roman could hear his late father’s disapproving voice. Though he’d never heard his father directly speak ill of Jason, he had also never stopped it. In Roman’s mind, that fuelled his belief that his parents would disown him, had he admitted his feelings prior to their passing. There would never be a way of truly knowing, and so Roman’s mind supplied many possible reactions.

“I. Ju-t. H-h-hate m-my ss-ss-ff.” Roman was barely audible as he tried to speak through hiccupping breaths. Desperate to get his bottled feelings out and feel some form of relief.

“I love you, Roman.” Jason assured, grip never faltering as Roman sobbed. “Even if you don’t feel like you can love yourself, I will love you. Just for being you. Don’t forget that.”

Tears of anger slipped from Jason’s own eyes. He had hoped that his coming out and openness would have prevented this sort of thing from happening to anyone else in his family. Unfortunately though, he couldn’t change society. He had held many people like this over his short life. His clothes soaked in tears of fear and shame from those on similar journeys of self-discovery. But holding Roman right now, hurt the most. Feeling his fear and shame soak into his navy button up shirt was like being shot at close range. He couldn’t spare Roman from the pain; despite everything he had done.

“I'm sorry I couldn’t protect you.” Whisper barely audible, Jason squeezed his eyes shut and refused to let go until he felt Roman’s breathing return to normal.

It was two weeks later before Roman said the words out loud; admittedly it was a whisper.

I’m gay.

Jason reached under the table to take Roman’s hand as they waited for Katie’s reaction. Fork full of pasta halfway to her mouth, Katie simply raised an eyebrow in confusion at her little brother.

“Care to say that again, Ro. My hearing ain’t what it used to be.”

Roman sighed, squeezing Jason’s hand for support before repeating himself.

“Katie, I am gay.”

“Ok.”

“I’m sor- What?” Now it was Roman’s turn to stare in confusion. “Ok? What do you mean ‘ok’?”

“Ok, an expression used to express agreement and or acceptance. Get a dictionary, Yo-Yo.” Katie shoved the food in her mouth and gave the two a mischievous smile.

At the mention of his childhood nickname, Roman scowled. “Is that all you have to say about this? Seriously!”

“Duh.” Katie put her fork down and licked the splattering of pasta sauce off her fingers. “What were you expecting? Me to yell? Scream? Kick you out? Throw a bible at you? What?” Roman stared blankly, lost for words. “You are still my brother, you idiot. One little word isn’t going to change that. You gotta try a bit harder if you want to get rid of me.”

“Well…” Finding his voice again, Roman felt a small weight slip from his shoulders. “What would I have to say to get rid of you?”

“That you despise Disney or musicals are the worst type of theatre.”

Tears welled in Roman’s eyes, despite the smile that spread across his face. “I would never say those things.”

“Guess you are just stuck with me then. Sucks to be you.” And with that, Katie stood and walked into the kitchen.

Jason ruffled Roman’s hair before reaching out to clear the table, ducking out of the way just as a box of tissues was thrown from the breakfast bar and hit Roman in the chest.

“That could have hit my face!” Jason yelled as he headed toward the culprit in the kitchen.

“Shame it didn’t. It could have made an improvement.”

Roman wiped his eyes as he listened to Katie and Jason in the kitchen. It wasn’t the coming out that had plagued his dreams for months, but it was his. He would never know how it would have gone if his parents were still around, but he could deal with that. Katie and Jason were his family now, and their opinion was all that mattered.

From that moment on, Roman promised himself that he wouldn’t hide anymore. There wasn’t a need to. As long as he had a home to return to, nothing else mattered. It made moving forward easier.

********************

It broke Roman's heart to have a silent Patton in the passenger seat of his car, as they drove to his house. Every glance to the side made him want to pull over and scoop the other into his arms and squeeze away his pain. The couple had walked in silence to Roman's old red Nissan; Patton keeping Roman's hand in a vice grip. Patton's eyes remained glued to the ground as Roman unlocked the car and opened the door for the other to flop inside. Neither muttered a word. Patton too emotionally numb to speak, and Roman to afraid to disturb the silence.

Slowing down for a red light, Roman took a chance and rested is hand on the centre console. Driving an automatic car had its advantages, despite what everyone else had told him. Roman wasn't lazy; he thought he was quite innovative. Automatic vehicles only require one hand to operate, meaning the other could be used for other activities. In this case, hand holding.

Time seemed to stretch on, and Roman's hand remained untouched. The light turned green and Roman was about to return his hand to the wheel when Patton finally took hold. Chancing a glance, Roman saw Patton's glistening eyes looking back; the smallest smile lighting his face. In that moment, Roman knew Patton would be ok.

********************

“No arguments, you are to go have a shower and climb into that onesie I always bring to movie nights.”

Roman pushed Patton towards his bedroom and continued towards the living room, tossing their bags in a pile near the dining table.

“But it’s your-“

“I believe I began my last statement with ‘no arguments’.” Roman called over his shoulder as he switched on the tv and started pulling blankets out the storage ottoman in the centre of the room.

Sighing loudly, Patton wandered into Roman’s room and stood in front of his mirrored wardrobe doors. It made sense why Roman was being so pushy , considering how red and puffy Patton’s eyes were from crying. He was still in his McDonald’s uniform; skin slick with the thin layer of grease from working around the fryers. It wasn’t the best job but tutoring primary school students wasn’t enough to pay his bills.

“Chop, chop, Pat!” Roman’s voice echoed down the hall, “I want to hear that water running.”

“You sound like a parent.” He called back, opening the wardrobe to search for Roman’s Stitch onesie. “I’m older than you, remember.”

There was no reply, so he continued to carefully push Roman’s formal clothes aside to reach the onesie hanging in the centre. Careful not to let it touch his own clothes, Patton opened the door to the bathroom in Roman’s room and was greeted with the face of his partner on the other side of the room.

Roman lent in the opposite doorway that connected to the spare room, one outstretched arm holding a folded towel with a single Hershey’s kiss chocolate on top.

“Age is just a number, my dear.” Roman grinned as he saw Patton’s face light up as he entered the room. “Everyone needs a little pampering every now and then. Let me look after you for a change.”

“Do I really have a choice?” Patton questioned as he put the onesie down and eagerly grabbed the chocolate.

Roman giggled at the speed that Patton unwrapped the chocolate; setting the towel down on the bench and turning to wrap his arms around Patton’s waist.

“Not today, Pat. Now,” The two locked eyes and Roman stifled a laugh looking at Patton’s puffy cheek filled with chocolate. “Shower and relax. I’ll order pizza and set up the lounge room for a movie. If you want to talk, we will talk. If you want to cry, I will hold you until you stop. Heck, if you want to act out Toy Story word for word, I am totally down to do that.” Patton giggled at the idea, feeling happy tears start to build in his eyes. “I’m here for you tonight. Okay?”

Patton nodded, closing his eyes and letting a single tear fall. Supportive arms squeezed him tight before Roman lent back and placed a soft kiss on Patton’s forehead.

“You taste like fries.”

Patton laughed and pulled Roman close again so their lips could touch for a brief kiss. “You taste like strawberries.”

“Ok, ok, no more stalling, sweetness.” Though Roman would have loved to continue, “shower time now.”

Patton grinned as Roman shut the door to his room, before slowly backing out through the door he came in through. He was lucky to have someone like Roman in his life. Though he loved Logan with all his heart, he could never handle Patton’s emotions as well as Roman could. It wasn’t Logan’s fault, he still struggled with recognising and regulating his own feelings. Roman on the other hand, had experienced so many emotions in the past 6 years alone, and was now very familiar with recognising and dealing with his emotions. As the warm water touched his skin, Patton felt his muscles relax briefly before his mind started to race through the afternoons events.

Talk, Patton decided.

He had his time in silence, but now it was time to talk.

—————————————————-

End Note:

Thanks for reading. Sorry this was a disappointing chapter. I just needed to get it out to feel some form of success.

I will get better...I promise. Read below at your own risk if you want to know what has been happening lately. I’m ok now...if that helps 🙂

So, I planned this fic after I fell/fainted during a running race and smashed my head on the ground. I probably had a mild concussion, but whatever.

This led on to my random hand shaking increasing to a daily occurrence and I was also experiencing dizzy spells.

Boy was my Dr confused.

So, I eventually got told I was iron deficient, but she wasn’t sure why because other levels were coming back normal. I had a heart monitor strapped to me for 24hrs to test that.

While all that was happening, I had to write my reports and that just adds to my normal stress levels.

Basically, I was a fatigued, stressed, anxious, shaking zombie for over a week. When the week finally ended, reports done, the end in sight; I got the call that my cousin passed away...her 3year fight with cancer had proved too much for her body to handle and she slipped away.

I was devastated, but still had work and Drs appointments so I stayed where I was and planned my travel to see my parents and then fly to see the rest of the family. It was during that week that I got told that my full diagnosis is “You are anxious, stressed, iron deficient and just generally burnt out. You need a holiday before this gets worse.”

Then the cherry fell on top...someone read my cousins private messages to me. I had come out to her...they gave the messages thumbs down. It was a simple thing, but it was enough to send me spiralling back into a dark place of hate and nightmares..... but I’m on the other side now though. Funeral over. Travelling home. I’m ready to find my normality again. Fingers crossed I find it quickly. If you read this far; thank you, and I hope all is well with you. Writing to vent is very therapeutic and the more I write about what has been happening lately, the better I feel. If you need an ear to talk to ... I’ve got two of them. Happy Timezone 🙂

💜🐌

————————————————

Chapter 5 — Master List

What else have I done:

The Perfect Ring (oneshot - analogical proposal)

You Promised (oneshot - prinxiety angst/injury/near death)

Sides of a Hero (Completed Fic - sides are fusions of impulses and aspects of Thomas. Virgil has a depressing past that he is forced to face thanks to Deceit and Rage. Was canon compliant at the time of completion)

The Shield to your Sword (WIP - A fantasy/magic au - Prinxiety (Royal Roman and orphan Virgil - they’ll admit to their love eventually), Virgil angst, non binary, healer Logan, *spoiler* Patton)

Check out my other blog for random fandom reblogs and stuff @snail-giggles

30 notes · View notes

annerly-san · 5 years

Text

This whole Black Forest Cake situation:

Here’s what I think:

Let’s bring concerns/opinions up to Funtoy, await their changes, official release, etc. and stop trying to rift everyone in this fandom apart. Ultimately, this is a game that is meant for enjoyment and this community should be meant for aspiring change and sharing our mutual interests. In the end, being hostile to one another over a game and a situation that is able to be changed is really pointless.

There are points and opinions that I will bring up and analyze below the cut for those who want to see some points on this situation.

In summary (for those of you out of the loop):

Black Forest Cake is a new food soul that hasn’t been released quite yet. She’s meant to be a villainous food soul that has backstory that is currently causing a lot of controversy.

From a translation of Black Forest Cake’s backstory, it’s been pointed out that it has a lot of n-zi references.

Clearly, this is not a good thing and has sparked a lot of debate and controversy in the ff fandom.

Prelude/Salty Rant caused by a post I saw:

Please stop pointing your fingers at Whiskey-stans, Spaghetti-stans, Peking-stans, etc. whenever you lack the ability to comprehend the greater depths of why people appreciate certain characters.

For those of you who don’t know, I love Whiskey.

People have given a lot of crap to Whiskey-stans such as I (though I’ve not directly been called out for this, there are posts that point at overall people who enjoy villains like Whiskey). This is really, really annoying to me. And I am sure that other people who find themselves enjoying the villain trope of FF characters find themselves in the same spot.

I enjoy villains. For me, a mysterious character that does unfathomable things create a large point of interest and curiosity for me as I enjoy analyzing and imagining what would have motivated them to do so. (psychology and the science of sociopathy and psychopathy are interesting to me)

So for people who unnecessarily point fingers at “people who stan whiskey”, my justification is that I find him to be the most interesting food soul as he has committed the most atrocious thing (in game) thus far.

Likewise, for other people, they appreciate certain characters for certain reasons. And it’s so unfortunate that certain people have a finite number of brain cells that is quantifiable on a single hand that they relish in indiscriminately grouping people of a certain trait together and dismiss them with a label.

Hehe...~ sound familiar to something here?

Pardon me, for I’m rather salty upon seeing a certain post. I went on a tangent.

If you could approach with an open mind as to why people have certain opinions on certain characters, then will you be able to understand the points that other people bring up on this situation with Black Forest Cake.

Background | The Prevalence of N-zism in Game and Anime Culture:

While I do not condone n-zi-ism and taking light of sensitive topics like this...

There are many examples of n-zism in anime culture such as (I don’t know why this is the only example popping up in my head atm) the Saga of Tanya the Evil. Other games and shows definitely have more references and depictions of n-zism.

Ultimately, we can see that the n-zis and their impact is prevalent in game and anime culture. There is a difference between using this group to prove a point, illustrate history, etc. than turning it into a fanatical depiction.

Poor Design on Funtoy’s Part | Opinion on BFC:

However, the way that Funtoy decided to chose how they designed BFC is pure ignorance.

A couple reasons:

You could adapt BFC to a different german archetype/character trait (I hate that things are adapted to archetypes, but you understand the point.)

If you wanted to create a female villain, then it didn’t have to be specifically a German food soul.

Understanding/Theorizing Why BFC was designed like this:

Ignorance on Funtoy’s Part

As the company is based in Asia, where not everyone is informed of what sensitive topics are, much less how to handle them, Funtoy was probably ignorant about this.

Parts of the world operate differently and with varying cultures and demographics, having a more homoegenous demographic can stunt progressive thoughts. As such, with Funtoy, there probably aren’t people working in their corpoartion that is aware of sensitive topics like this.

Instead of going after each other’s throats, let’s go after Funtoy’s, seek to point this out to them

As a corporation having a game that is global, they should learn to be aware of the differences outside of their own little world.

Don’t turn on each other, but seek to reach out, listen with open ears, and voice your opinions. Not to just Funtoy, but to ourselves as a fanbase too.

Food souls are modeled under certain archetypes. Geographic/Cultural/etc. archetypes cannot be completely avoided. They convey a point, but it’s an interesting topic.

Designing based on Archetypes

For instance, when American Corn Bread came out, I was like... wow... that’s... really... interesting...

A cowgirl, loud, friendly, tan, bleached blonde girl. So is that how Funtoy sees America? (I live in america). Ok, I laughed. But that archetype isn’t so offensive to someone living in America. Cornbread is a southern-ish food and Texans typically are associated with those characteristics. It’s not really offensive, but just more rather shallow when it comes to the archetype.

BFC was designed most likely based on the stereotype of germany (where the dish originated) and the villains of Germany (the n-zis).

For the designer at Funtoy, they put two and two and made this design.

In Conclusion:

Funtoy most likely designed BFC the way she is due to ignorance of the design team and the pitfall of mindlessly designing based on archetypes.

Before condoning each other’s blogs to death, can we listen to one another as we try to talk, understand where people are coming from, and go to fix the problem at its cause? Bickering amongst ourselves about a game that we did not design is ridiculous. And pointing out and (directly or indirectly) shaming people before understanding where they’re coming from is disgusting (still salty tbh).

Can we at least bring this concern to Funtoy and hope that in the global release, there is something to be done on the corporate end in order to amend this instead of going after each other’s throats?

Let’s go after each other’s throats when the official release is out, eh? Hehehe~

Edit1: It was pointed out that Funtoy is the designer and Elex is the distributor. Went back and re did stuff in a panic. Thanks for pointing that out @maestrokitty!!

If anything, we can actually appeal to Elex rather than Funtoy and they should be able to reach out to Funtoy that way.

#food fantasy #ff black forest cake

27 notes · View notes

davidmann95 · 5 years

Note

This week’s comics?

SPOILERS, fairly casually

The Immortal Hulk #23: It’s Immortal Hulk. If you’re not getting it you’re doing comics wrong.

The Amazing Spider-Man: Going Big #1: Hadn’t actually planned on picking this up but found myself to my own surprise pulled in by the cover. Main story by Conway and Bagley was predictably quality, the middle by Macchio and Nauck wasn’t, and Larsen’s wrapup was the most fun but that villain was...a choice if she had existed before, even moreso if she hadn’t. Passable for die-hards, but I’m baffled why this exists when we’ll also be getting Full Circle; I guess this is for major past talent while that’s more the current hotness?

Fantastic Four #14: Best issue of this volume yet, especially with Paco Medina in tow, and a jumping on point I’d recommend even to those who’d already understandably written this run off. Might not come off as a total embarrassment next to the ‘ancillary’ FF stuff coming later this year, which actually isn’t a small compliment given the talent stacked on Grand Design, 2099, and Negative Zone.

House of X #4: At long last the X-Men doing X-Men stuff, if not quite how anyone would have expected it. Lot hanging on the implications in the margins of Hickman’s grand plan at this point in terms of parsing what happens here, and even that leaves more questions than answers (clearly clones are involved, but what does that mean for the current and future situation?). Also it rules.

The Wicked + The Divine #45: I look forward to now being able to reread this series to learn whether or not I particularly like it. I’m sure I will, it’s Gillen and McKelvie and I usually enjoyed individual issues well enough even if I could never remember what the hell was going on, but I often need to reread Gillen’s stuff before it properly clicks with me.

DIE #7: This however grabbed me right off the bat and has yet to let go, even though I’m still not positive I know what’s going on.

No One Left To Fight #3: The ‘romance’ subplot I wasn’t sure about has wrapped up about as well as could be hoped for even if it feels kinda like a sour note to me, and otherwise this remains a load of fun and I’d like to see it pick up more attention.

Doomsday Clock #11: Hahahaha they actually did it, Superman’s on panel with a dick in DC’s biggest comic. Beautiful. GOSH there should not be a comic where Superman’s defending an all-but-explicitly Trump-occupied White House from a revolutionary brown man, though. And the heck is up with ‘Nibiru’? Is that a throwaway thing, or a setup for something coming up in the regular books? Anyway, this book remains ridiculous, shockingly entertaining and ‘significant’-feeling, gorgeous, and fundamentally broken, having squandered the legitimate potential of its concept at virtually every turn but still fascinating in spite of itself, maintaining a veneer of high-minded ‘mature readers’ structure and ambition laudably far beyond anything Johns has ever approached in the past overlaying a truly dumb as hell event comic core. My main question at this point is whether the ending will be ideologically rancid, ideologically null, or the former attempting to be the latter, and how interesting it’ll be along the way. And as I noted on Twitter, it remains hilarious that Good Doomsday Clock was conceived of almost certainly in part in response to this, created, announced, and released in full entirely within the lifespan of Actual Doomsday Clock.

DCeased: A Good Day To Die #1: Fun comic, absolutely get it if you’re getting the main mini, but how on Earth did they net Darick Robertson for this? I’m thrilled to see him, but the hell? Has the guy even done anything with Constantine or zombies before?

Lois Lane #3: Rucka can spend all the time he likes picking up Gotham Central/52 threads as far as I’m concerned, and the Lois (and Clark) stuff in here is as on-point as the first two issues.

Legion of Super-Heroes: Millennium #1: A lot of fun, jarring as it is to pivot from quoted Kirby dialogue to Bendisspeak on a dime, but this and #2 clearly should have just been a big one-shot.

The Green Lantern #11: Still a ton of fun. Is the ‘Golden Lantern’ gonna tie in at all with Legion? Also I’m going nuts here not being able to recall who the Lantern with the prism chest and Yondu-fin is. Is she new?

Doom Patrol: Weight of the Worlds #3: Um...wow. Wow. What a hell of a high concept when presented as it is here, and as good an execution as could possibly be hoped.

Superman: Up In The Sky #3: I talked about the first story that may well hold this title back from otherwise deserved perennial status when it came out in the Walmart issues - maybe the most hideous misfire of King’s career - but the second here’s an all-timer.

Justice League #31: Fuck the geezers, the REAL stars of the show are officially onboard after what felt like 83,000 years of waiting! Shame about how Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, and Kamandi are definitely doomed now, I’ve always liked ‘em, but I’ll call it a fair trade-off for the return of Justice Legion Alpha. I’ll admit though, much as I’ve traditionally been fairly ambivalent on them it really was charming to see the JSA again, especially now that it’s clear that their new setup won’t interfere with the position of Superman and the Justice League.

Batman vs. Ra’s Al Ghul #1: From page one this is every bit as ratfuck baying-at-the-moon out of its goddamn mind as I could have hoped of any self-respecting sequel to Batman: Odyssey, and it might be the book I’m gonna be most excited for every month now. God bless Neal Adams for doing whatever the hell it is that man does, and sharing it with us undeserving wretches.

#Week's Comics #Opinion

12 notes · View notes

ellanainthetardis · 7 years

Text

Meet the Trinkets! I hope you enjoy this chapter! Let me know!

[FF] or [AO3]

10. Seventeen Weeks

Four was strangely peaceful for a District with such a high tourism ratio.

Effie had been there for over a week and she loved it. It was big enough to be anonymous and, so far, she hadn’t been spotted by any crazy fan, hater or reporter. Her pregnancy had hit the news and had remained on the front pages for a few days. Then, the hype had abruptly died down after an official statement had been released – she supposed she had Plutarch to thank for that. People thought she was still in Twelve, shuttered in their house in the Village, and that was just as well.

It allowed her to walk along the ocean front walk in peace.

Nobody really paid any attention to her anyway. She supposed when they pictured Effie Trinket, they still imagined her with flamboyant outfits and vibrant colored wigs… The woman in a simple purple dress, with a blue ribbon belt and a bow at the back that discreetly outlined her pregnant stomach under her apricot open coat, probably paled in comparison.

She had made a real effort to look a little more like the woman she used to be before the war that morning though. She had styled her hair in a crown braid. She was hoping it was fancy enough that her mother would forget to be disappointed by its plain natural color.

She was very nervous about seeing her parents again.

She had hoped the long walk along the beach from Annie’s house to the resort would help soothe her nerves but they were far too frayed.

Haymitch’s behavior hadn’t helped her either relax or reach a decision during the last week. She had spent her time worrying about him being sick, then not taking her calls, and she had finally convinced herself that he was about to kick her out of their house and to leave her on the streets – which was ridiculous on numerous levels but she had decided pregnant women were allowed to be ridiculous and irrational about some things. She had been so confused by his refusals to talk to her… They had parted on good terms and suddenly…

Now she was mostly worried though.

She hadn’t believed he was ill, at first, but the children had sworn he was, he said he was and Eileen had more or less confirmed she had crossed path with him once or twice and that he didn’t look good. She had been toying with the idea of taking a train back but, since the night Johanna had called him against her wishes, he was dutiful about getting in touch every day. He claimed he was doing better and their conversations were becoming less awkward and tensed, more… normal.

Granted they avoided talking about the elephant in the room – or, rather, the shrimp in the uterus – but…

The resort was huge and the beach, in that part of the District, was crowded with people from all over Panem. Despite it being late November, the air echoed with laughter, seagulls and the sound of children running around. She hesitantly made her way to the towering building that gleamed under the sun, feeling strangely out of her depths.

This used to be her world: luxury, four stars hotels, staff ready to bent in four to please her… Now… She felt disconnected from all that.

Habits died hard, though. It was natural to plaster a fake polite smile on her face, natural to nod and demand… She might not look like a billionaire anymore but there was still something regal to her bearings. She had been raised a certain way.

The restaurant’s maître d’hôtel recognized her. His eyes widened a little and he suddenly was very eager to please, despite her less than expensive dress and the not eccentric enough hair and make-up. She tipped him generously and he assured her the resort had a discretion clause, that no one would know she was there. It suited her needs perfectly.

She had made sure to arrive ten minutes early but, naturally, her mother was already there, sitting like a queen at the best table in the room – because only the best would do for Elindra Trinket. It was next to a bay window overlooking the ocean and the view was breathtaking. Water as far as the eye could see, melting into the blue sky in a horizon line so thin it was hard to discern.

“Effie!” Elindra exclaimed.

She sounded genuinely pleased to see her, so Effie relaxed a little when her mother stood up to kiss the air next to her cheeks. There had been more plastic surgeries, she noted in a passing thought, a facelift at least and some Botox injections around the eyes and the mouth. Her hair was a bright orange with yellow strikes – most people had adopted a more subdue District fashion but some still resisted and followed the pure Capitol trends – and styled in a puffy bun on top of her head. Not really inconspicuous. Effie definitely felt underdressed.

“Mother.” she smiled. “I hope I am not late…”

Her mother waved that away. “Perfectly on time. On the dot. As usual.” A praise. That was unusual. Elindra latched on her hand, preventing her from sitting down just yet. “Let me look at you.” The woman’s blue eyes roamed on her, from her crown braid hairstyle to her apricot heels, stopping for a long moment on her round stomach. “Well. You do not look good. You are far too pale. Not too worry, nothing a good make-over won’t fix… They have wonderful salons in this resort.”

“I have been a bit tired, I must admit.” Effie offered, her smile straining. She should have known praises would be followed by that sort of comments.

“I would expect so, yes.” Elindra giggled, letting go of her wrist to touch her stomach. Effie tensed and instinctively stepped back. Her mother took her hand away as if she had been burned.

“My apologies.” she breathed out, horrified by how rude her own behavior was. “I…”

“No matter, no matter.” her mother dismissed. “Sit down. Let’s have a nice brunch. They have the best chef this side of the country.”

She did as she was told, sitting down and gracefully unfolding her napkin to place it on her lap before reaching for the menu. Her fingers were shaking with apprehension.

“Is Father not joining us?” she asked, after five minutes spent reading without understanding a single word.

“Business meeting.” Elindra hummed. “He is eager to see you. We will stay a few days, there will be time. If you are agreeable, that is.”

Effie peeked over her menu to find that her mother was staring at her instead of perusing her own. It occurred to her, right then, that she wasn’t the only one who was nervous. There had been screams the last time they had seen each other, accusations on both parts… Effie loved her family, and she knew that despite everything they loved her, but they were difficult. It had always been difficult.

“I have no plans.” she offered. “I am staying with some friends.”

“Really? Who?” Elindra asked, leaning a bit closer, like she always did when possible gossip was involved.

“Annie Odair and Johanna Mason.” she said, a bit ill-at-ease. The victors weren’t recluse by any mean, they were well-loved in the District – even Jo who had been adopted despite her less than stellar temper – but they had left the public sphere at the same time Haymitch and the children had and she was uncomfortable discussing them with people who did not belong to their tiny family.

“Oh, I see.” her mother nodded, cringing a little at the mention of Johanna’s name. Seven’s victor had never been her favorite – too brash and too rude. “I heard Annie had a son…”

“Finn, yes.” Effie provided, a bright smile stretching her lips. “He is a delight.”

She was fond of the boy. Two years old and already a charmer… Every time she looked at him, she couldn’t help but remember his father. It was bittersweet.

The conversation was threatening to stall to a halt and she was thankful for the waiter who seemed to appear out of thin air. Elindra ordered tea for the two of them – and Effie shouldn’t have been impressed her mother remembered what her favorite was, because Elindra was the perfect hostess and probably knew how everyone in the Capitol took their tea, but she still was – and an indecent amount of food.

“No eggs.” Effie hurried in interrupting when her mother ordered two plates of that. “Please, the smell… I cannot bear it.”

“No eggs.” Elindra amended firmly, before proceeding to order almost everything else on the menu. It was stupid because Effie knew very well she would hardly touch a dish but she didn’t try to stop her. That was her mother’s way. “Are eggs the only thing you cannot stomach?” she asked once the waiter was gone.

“Morning sickness weren’t so terrible and I do not suffer from them anymore… But eggs…” She wrinkled her nose. “I am forcing Haymitch to get rid of them. It is tricky because if we do not eat them, he tends to forget to pick them up. Then, they hatch and we do not need any more geese than we already have, let me tell you. I think the children have been eating omelets and scrambled eggs every morning for the past three months, poor dears.”

A flash of horror passed on her mother’s face and she doubted it had to do with the children’s fate regarding eggs. It was probably picturing her surrounded by poultry.

“I was not aware you were living in a farm.” Elindra commented. It was almost painfully careful.

“We do not.” she chuckled. “The geese are Haymitch’s pets.”

“Really?” her mother winced. “How… droll.”

“It is a peculiar choice.” she granted. “But he has his reasons.”

And she wasn’t about to explain that his dead brother had been fond of animals and that his dream had always been to have a small farm instead of going to work in the mines. Haymitch’s decision to take in a gaggle of geese had been a sign of healing on his part, a way of finally putting his family to rest.

And he was fond of his birds. As annoying and noisy as they were.

Food came to their table, stalling the conversation once more. Effie immediately snatched a blueberry muffin, suddenly starving. Her mother shot her a disapproving look but poured their tea without comment.

“Did your…” Elindra stopped, swallowed whatever she had been about to say back down, and forced a sweet fake smile on her lips. “… victor come with you? Are we to meet him?”

“He stayed home.” she answered and it was difficult to keep her polite, cheerful mask on. “He is unwell. Flu, as I understood.”

“I see.” her mother said, her piercing eyes watching her – cataloguing, she was sure, all the tells Effie wasn’t able to control. “Is everything alright between the two of you? A pregnancy can be unsettling for a relationship.”

“We are fine.” she snapped, more harshly than she had intended it. She looked down at her cup of tea and took a deep breath. “Tell me, how is Lyssa? And her sons?”

Her eldest daughter was a subject Elindra could talk about for hours without pause. Effie made an effort but half of it flew high over her head. The food was good though and she supposed Haymitch would have been pleased by the amount she ate – her mother was certainly not but, to her credit, Elindra didn’t comment on her weight once.

Elindra insisted on them going to the resort’s beauty parlor once they were done with brunch and, since they had managed to go without any attempt at murdering each other so far, Effie accepted. There was nothing of the kind in Twelve and she enjoyed being pampered and fussed over. Her mother was all over her like she usually was all over Lyssa and Effie wasn’t used to that. She was still a bit wary but Elindra was doing her best to coax her into lowering her guard.

For instance, she knew her mother was dying to ask about what they had talked about during their last phone call: about the war and, most of all, the baby. And yet she didn’t jump at her throat like Effie had expected her to. Elindra was bidding her time, that much was clear to her, but she appreciated the respite nonetheless.

Accepting her invitation to dinner after a whole day of mindless activities was easy. And she truly was pleased when her father finally showed up at the restaurant. Tadius, too, had had a few facelifts since the last time she had seen him but he mostly looked the same as ever with his dark dyed hair. As soon as he saw her, he flashed her one of his rare smiles. She was also treated to a hug – a short one but it meant the world to her, she melted in her father’s embrace and it was so good she almost started crying for no good reason.

It was a nice dinner.

As well-behaved people, they avoided sensitive subjects and talked about anything but serious topics. She was happy when she came back to Annie’s house and she was happy when she called Haymitch.

“So it went well, then?” he asked, clearly surprised and, she thought, a little bit wary.

“Yes!” she chuckled. “I actually made plans to go shopping with Mother tomorrow.”

“Don’t overdo it.” he warned.

Minding that advice wasn’t difficult. The way Elindra fussed over her, she would have thought she was Lyssa.

Effie actually managed to relax during the next following days, even though she had a scare one morning because of a peculiar fluttering sensation in her stomach that wouldn’t go away. It eventually stopped only to start again later. She worked herself into a panic at the spa she was visiting with Elindra until her mother, after forcing her to tell her what was wrong, declared she was simply starting to feel the baby moving.

She didn’t know who was more excited about that.

“I missed it.” Haymitch grumbled on the phone later that same night.

“You wouldn’t be able to feel it.” she reassured him. “It is too soon.”

“You’re sure it’s the baby moving and nothing serious, yeah?” he insisted. “You should check with a doctor… Maybe…”

“Annie and my mother are both adamant.” she cut him off. There had been talks about visiting Four’s hospital but she had refused again and again. “I feel fine, I promise. I haven’t lost blood and I do not think anything is out of the ordinary. I even gained a few pounds…”

He let out a deep sigh, pacified but not convinced. “Still… I missed it.”

“I will come home soon.” she hummed.

“You better.” he snorted. “The house’s a fucking mess.”

She pursed her lips, having no trouble imagining it. “I suggest you clean it before I come back or you will get better acquainted with the couch. I am not your maid, Haymitch.”

She and her mother had developed some sort of routine. They would meet up at the resort for brunch and then go explore the various shops along the ocean front walk.

Elindra was being very generous with gifts and Effie felt a bit bad when she realized she had filled Annie’s guestroom with tons of shopping bags – and she felt even worse when she realized she would be forced to buy another suitcase to bring everything back.

Still, she enjoyed walking around in her brand new maternity dress – a lovely black piece with red dots that she had accessorized with red heels, a red scarf and a cloak like red coat. New clothes and shopping sprees had always lifted her spirits and she had forgotten how fun it could be to do that with someone who actually knew something about fashion.

There were tons of little shops on the front walk, not just clothes but buildings dedicated to fishing, water sports… Everything one could imagine. On retrospect, she didn’t know why she was so surprised to find herself faced with a baby store. She would have walked right past it if her mother hadn’t stopped to peer through the window at the strollers on display. They were on discount.

“Perhaps we should check it out.” Elindra suggested. “Strollers are awfully expensive even in the city. We might get a good bargain.”

Effie’s enthusiasm at the bright sunny day faltered. “Mother…”

“I know, I know…” Elindra sighed distractedly, still studying the two strollers. “It would make little sense to buy one in Four when we can probably find a better model in the Capitol… Nevertheless…”

“We probably won’t need a stroller, Mother.” she snapped. “I told you we…”

She couldn’t say it.

Now that she could feel him in her belly…

It was only a fluttering, the tiniest of sensation, but she had grown used to it awfully fast. She was looking forward to it every time.

It was her baby moving inside her and the idea that she might have to give it up was breaking her heart.

And yet, at the same time, the idea of being responsible for a child…

She turned her back to the store and walked in the direction of the beach and the low concrete wall that separated the sand from the pavement. She had to hop a little to sit there and she was sure that, if Haymitch or the children had seen her, she would have been in for a lecture about overtaxing herself.

“Euphemia, really!” her mother huffed, coming to a halt next to her and throwing an embarrassed glance around. “We could have found a public bench if you insist on sitting down in the street.”

“Perhaps you should go back to the resort, Mother.” she declared. “I think I will go back to Annie’s.”

Elindra studied her, her lips pursed in displeasure at her tone. “Or you could finally tell me what all this nonsense about adoption is about. You were so upset on the phone…” Her lips pursed even more. “It disturbed me. We have our arguments but I never wished you ill, you know that.”

“I do.” she whispered. Elindra loved her. Not well, perhaps, but she knew her mother loved her. And, truth be told, she had been trying to do better in the last few days.

“Tell me, then.” Elindra ordered. “On the phone, you said your… victor…”

“You can call him Haymitch.” she cut her off with a vicious look.

“My apologies, darling, but given your condition I would rather call him your husband.” her mother sighed. “Not that it would give me great pleasure to do so but, at least, the whole situation would be proper. What is he to you? How should I refer to him in society? This is truly an etiquette conundrum and…”

“My everything.” she interrupted again, staring at the line of stores on the other side of the wide walk. “If you wish to know what he is to me, what he means to me, this is it. He is my everything. He is my best friend, my lover, and, if you insist on a coined term, then, yes, my husband in all but name.” She shook her head. “I know you do not like him but he is a good man, one of the best men I know, truly, and I love him.”

“I know you do.” Elindra sighed. “However…”

“I would not be here without him, Mother.” There was a warning growl in her voice she didn’t try to polish into something refined. “He saved me. Times and times again, he saved me. And he takes care of me. Those last two years… I do not think I would have survived without his support. We take care of each other. We are a team. I know you won’t understand but…” She shook her head again. “He saves me.”

She almost expected a lecture about how Effie wasn’t sixteen anymore and shouldn’t behave like a lovestruck teenager. Instead, Elindra studied her with rapt attention. “Are you referring to what happened during the rebellion?”

Effie closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She had no wish to discuss that part of her life. No wish. And yet…

“He fought to have me found and rescued, yes.” she whispered. “And then, the rebels would have had me tried and executed with the others. He… He bargained for my life but President Coin… She dangled me over his head to keep him under her thumb.” She hesitated to say the rest because her mother was the worst gossip – but she also hoped her mother could make the difference between what to keep to herself and what to disclose. “If Katniss had not killed her, I do not think she would have survived much longer either way. If you understand my meaning.”

Elindra’s eyes hardened but she couldn’t quite say if it was in disgust, anger or approval.

“I understand.” her mother said. “Well. Naturally, he is not what we hoped for you. Nevertheless, he was a key player of the rebellion and that does have its weight nowadays. This is a new Panem, after all. Having been a part of the revolution is fashionable. And he is a Quell victor. It is certainly unfortunate he does not have our social standing but he could still be groomed, perhaps.”

“Good luck with that.” she chuckled. “I have been trying for almost fifteen years now.”

“He has yet to meet me, darling.” Elindra smiled a frightening smile but her eyes soon darted to her stomach. “You said he wants the child.”

“He never wanted children.” she sighed. “But suddenly… Since we have been told I was pregnant he has been…” She rubbed the baby bump almost unconsciously. “I think he wants it very badly. And that frightens me.”

“Why?” Elindra frowned. “Are you afraid he would be a bad father?”

“Of course not.” she huffed and then averted her eyes. “However, I do not think we are the best suited to be parents. There is his alcoholism…”

“Would he hurt the child?” Elindra interrupted her.

“No.” Effie snapped defensively, glaring at her. “You think he is a brute. He is not. He never hurt anyone when he was drunk. It is himself he wants to harm, not others.”

“I see.” her mother answered. “Then, it is simple. Ban alcohol from the house. He can drink elsewhere at his own leisure.”

“Nothing about this is simple.” she scoffed. “If it was only Haymitch… The main problem is me. I cannot… I killed children.”

“Nonsense.” Elindra dismissed.

“Mother, I am sure you think being an escort was very glamorous…” she started only to be interrupted again.

“It was certainly very glamorous.” her mother scolded her. “But you will remember I warned you against accepting that position. I told you you wouldn’t be happy working in the Games industry.”

“Because I was Twelve’s escort and you were ashamed of me.” she accused.

Elindra snorted and looked around, anywhere rather than at her. “Because you were always too softhearted and far too smart, Euphemia. It is easier to drown in the glitter than to look at the scratched veneer underneath.” Effie was speechless. Her parents had always been vocal supporters of Snow. Always. Elindra dismissed her surprise with a wave of her hand. “The world was what it was and we all do what we need to survive. You did not kill anyone, Effie. They would have died anyway.”

“But I was part of it…” she countered slowly.

“Weren’t we all?” Elindra asked in a hard voice. “I cared not for those children and I still do not care, I am only concerned with my own. You will find it horrible, no doubt, but I do not share your rebellious tendencies and your grand ideals. I am more pragmatic than that.”

She stared at her mother, not quite surprised by what she was claiming and yet feeling as if she was seeing her for the first time.

“It was never about ideals.” she denied slowly. “I am pragmatic too. It was all about my family. Katniss and Peeta, I mean. And Haymitch too. The Quarter Quell… If at any point I made a conscious decision to go against President Snow, it was because of the Quell. He threatened my team. He would have had them killed and I couldn’t…”

Elindra pursed her lips, obviously not truly at ease with the subject they were discussing. She kept glancing around as if she was scared someone would overhear them. Or maybe she was worried because Effie was sitting on a wall instead of on a bench. It wasn’t a ladylike behavior and, just like her, Elindra liked her masks too.

“And how does this prove you would be a bad mother exactly?” her mother challenged. “From what you are telling me, you would have sacrificed everything for your victors. The Mockingjay and the boy… You consider them to be yours, you told me so before. You tried to protect them.”

“And I paid the price.” she shrugged, ignoring the reproaching look she got at that casualness. She placed both of her hands on her stomach, almost protectively, her voice breaking a little. “They tore me apart mother. Inside and out. I was a broken doll when I woke up in the hospital. You cannot imagine…” She stopped talking and took a deep breath, blinking away the tears she was certain her mother would scold her for. “I still have panic attacks and flashbacks. Nightmares. There are days I can barely convince myself to get out of bed and others when I do not manage to at all. This is no life for a child. My burden should not be his.”

Elindra watched her for a while, sighed, and covered one of the hands still resting on her stomach with hers. “But you will get better.”

“Will I?” Effie laughed through the tears burning her eyes. “It does not feel like it. We have so much baggage… Both Haymitch and I… This is not just something that will go away, it is something I have to learn how to live with. I am scarred for life, inside and out. Will I always manage to put my child first? Before my own fears and insecurities? I am not certain we should make the gamble.”

“There are other solutions that do not involve you giving him away.” her mother insisted, squeezing her hand. “Your father and I had a long discussion about this and… We would not mind… That is… We could take the baby in.” Effie opened her mouth but Elindra continued before she could cut in. “Naturally we would be delighted if you came too. You would have help in the Capitol if you would rather not be by yourself… And not just with your… With Haymitch. He would be welcomed to stay too if he so wished. As I said, he is famous enough and he knows important people. It wouldn’t be a source of embarrassment, not with a positive spin on it. And we would love to have you home, Effie. Both your father and I. We would love it.”

There was something almost desperate to her voice, a plea that unsettled Effie because her mother was a lot of things but never desperate.

“Mother…” she winced.

“Think about it. Take your time.” Elindra urged her. “Wouldn’t it be better if your child was with family, with his grandparents? This way you would still be his mother. You could take him back at any time. Trust me, darling, it is not so easy to be estranged from one’s child.”

In the end, the only thing Effie could do was agree to think it over and talk to Haymitch about it. She had known how that would go well before she even called him.

She barely listened as he told her about how someone from the Hob had tried to convince Katniss to adopt a puppy – although the puppy had, according to him, already been the size of a small dog. Apparently it was an amusing tale but she couldn’t focus.

She interrupted him halfway through.

He reacted in the way she expected him to.

“You want to do what?” he shouted.

“I did not say I wanted to do it.” she snapped. “I said perhaps we should consider it.”

“Forgot about how miserable they made you already?” he mocked. “Forgot about all the petty comments and the…”

“Haymitch, you weren’t always an example of a well-behaved partner yourself.” she retorted. “Did you forget about those times you called me a bitch if not worse? People change.”

“That’s bullshit.” he scoffed. “Assholes like that…”

“You are talking about my parents. Be careful.” she warned.

“Should have known they wanted something.” he went on. “Well, they can suck it. Nobody’s taking my kid to the Capitol, Princess. You want to go back? Go back. You don’t want us? Fine. Then you leave. But the shrimp stays with me. We’ll be just fine on our own.”

“I never said I was leaving.” she hissed. “Do not put words in my mouth.”

“Can’t you see that’s what they’re aiming at? They’ll lure you back with the kid.” he sneered. “Don’t be fucking stupid. They don’t care about the baby, it’s you they want. They’ll try to marry you off to one of their assholes and…”

“I cannot talk to you when you are like this.” she shouted back, losing her patience. “If you cannot have a civil conversation…”

“How the fuck am I supposed to have a civil conversation about this with you when you’re not here?” he snarled. “You’re the one who left. You’re the one who can’t make up her mind. I’m clear in my head, Effie.”

“Well.” she huffed. “I am sorry to try to put the well-being of my child before my selfishness. Goodnight, Haymitch.”

“Don’t you dare…” he warned.

She hung up.

It was rude but satisfying.

Johanna leaned against the wall, arms folded in front of her chest, lips pursed. “He’s got a point, you know. You can’t trust Capitols.”

“I am a Capitol.” she growled.

“Case in point.” Jo taunted.

It took all she had not to become ruder.

#hayffie #effie trinket #haymitch abernathy #april showers #idk why tumblr wouldn't let me post #you don't even imagine what i had to do #upload in doc #copy paste on mobile #save as draft #come back to computer #NIGHTMARE #get your shit together tumblr

26 notes · View notes

andrewdburton · 4 years

Text

My travel and speaking schedule for 2020

It's that time of year! I've been sorting through speaking invitations and comparing event schedules to my personal plans. I now have a rough idea of where I'll be in 2020 — and when. (As I finalize details, I'll update this post to reflect any changes.)

This year, I'll be traveling much less than last.

In 2019, I was away from home something like 3-1/2 months out of twelve. That was too much. In 2020, I'm deliberately saying “no” to opportunities. Still, I enjoy meeting and connecting with other folks who want to improve their lives — and the lives of others. So, I've agreed to a handful of engagements.

Here are the highlights from my “money event” calendar for the next few months.

“Intro to FIRE” Project (March 31st)

Before I do any travel, I have to do some work.

At the moment, most of my energy and attention is devoted to a five-hour audio-only project that I'm writing for Audible and The Great Courses. They've recruited me to create an introduction to financial independence and early retirement. It'll contain ten half-hour lessons on topics ranging from purpose to profit.

My first deadline for this project was January 31st. I turned in half of the course (which totaled about 20,000 words) and am awaiting feedback. The final five lectures are due by March 31st. My aim is to finish these by March 25th, my birthday. (I'd love to have more review time for editing and other improvements.)

In early May, after a speaking gig in St. Louis, I'll fly to Virginia to record the course. I'm not sure when it'll be released, but I'll be sure to keep you updated.

Plutus Voices: Portland (April 16th)

Get Rich Slowly turns fourteen on April 15th. To celebrate, I'll be hosting a Plutus Voices event here in portland.

The Plutus Foundation is a financial-literacy non-profit for which I am a board member. Plutus Voices is “a series of learning and networking events for the financial media bringing attention to important topics”. The Phoenix event, for instance, discussed meeting the financial needs of underserved communities. In Denver, we discussed financial independence and women.

On April 16th (or perhaps the 15th), Luna Jaffe and I will co-host a Portland event during which we'll explore our changing relationships with money. We may or may not be joined by our pal, Dougls Tsoi.

We're in the initial planning stages for Plutus Voices: Portland. I'll post more info (such as time and location) when I have it.

youtube

Financial Freedom Summit: St. Louis (May 1st to 3rd)

In early May, I'll fly to St. Louis for the first-ever Financial Freedom Summit. This event is “for anyone interested in pursuing financial freedom”, whether you're just starting you're journey toward F.I. or you've already reached early retirement.

Because this is the first FFS, I can't comment on what it'll be like. I have no idea. But it's being organized by some smart folks, so I'm hopeful that it will grow into an annual mecca for money nerds. I've agreed to speak in some limited capacity — possibly an on-stage Q&A about life after early retirement — but mostly I'm looking forward to hang out with readers and colleagues.

Camp Mustache: Seattle (May 22nd to 25th)

Several years ago, a group of Mr. Money Mustache readers got together at a retreat center outside Seattle over the long Memorial Day weekend. They've repeated this gathering every year since. This year, Camp Mustache tickets sold out in twenty seconds.

Camp Mustache is fun for a variety of reasons. It's low-key. It's egalitarian (meaning there are no “speakers” per se; anyone can present). And it's a place for like-minded folks to share their stories of extreme frugality and travel hacking. For me, it's an opportunity to spend time with people that I don't get to see as often as I'd like.

Chautauqua: Ecuador (August 29th to September 5th)

My big event for the year will be yet another money chautauqua.

In 2013, J.L. Collins from The Simple Path to Wealth partnered with Cheryl Reed to host the first-ever F.I. chautauqua, a week-long retreat for like-minded folks to discuss the path to financial freedom — and what comes after.

That year, I spoke for the first time about about the connection between money and meaning. Since then, I've returned to give the same presentation in 2014, 2016, and 2019. I'll do it again in 2020.

youtube

Out of all the money events I'm a part of, the chautauquas (chautauquae?) are my favorite. They're intense. For an entire week, a group of twenty or thirty people spend nearly every waking moment together to talk about money. Each speaker gives a two- or three-hour presentation. Plus, we have hour-long meetings with interested attendees.

Today, there are two different chautauqua events.

The official J.L. Collins chautauqua hops around Europe. In 2018, it was held in Greece. Last year, we met in Portugal. This year, folks will fly to Croatia. From my experience, this event is targeted at folks who are “fatFIRE”, those who tend to have higher net worths and higher spending. It's deliberately designed as a “premium event”. Dates and speakers for this year's European F.I. chautauqua aren't out yet, but should be announced soon.

The Ecuador chautauqua tends to have a different focus. It's more geared toward the “leanFIRE” crowd. Presentations are often about the Big Picture rather than simply about wealth-building. And some years are barely about money at all. (In 2016, I hosted a week with Leo from Zen Habits and David from Raptitude. Not really a money event!)

For this year's Ecuador chautauqua, I'll once again be speaking about money and meaning. (This is my life mission, after all!) Right now, it looks like I may also cover the nuts and bolts of FIRE — the basics — but that's not certain yet. And, as always, Cheryl will present on happiness and well-being.

I'm excited to be joined by some of my favorite colleagues:

Piggy and Kitty from Bitches Get Riches, which is one of my favorite money blogs. (I love it so much that I send them money every month via Patreon.) The Bitches think they'll be speaking about “how to lift as you climb”. What should you do with your financial independence? Share the wealth, contribute to the success of others, and use your newfound power and autonomy to help others achieve the same.

Tanja Hester from Our Next Life. I just had dinner with Tanja and Mark last Saturday. She told me that she hopes to talk about using money for good, toward purposeful ends. But she'll probably cover more about life after FI rather than the journey itself.

Want to join us? You should book a spot for the Ecuador chautauqua today!

Note that Tanja will host another week in Ecuador. That event — from August 22nd to August 29th — is only for women.

Fincon: Los Angeles (September 30th to October 3rd)

No surprise that I'll be at this year's Fincon Expo, the annual convention for money media — not just bloggers, but newspaper columnists, television journalists, and more. This year, to celebrate its tenth year, Fincon will be held in Los Angeles. (Long Beach, to be precise.)

At this point, I have no plans to speak at Fincon, but that will probably change. I'm sure I'll end up on a panel, or moderating a panel, or participating in some other way. The Fincon folks have become my family. I love them. (And, in fact, I'm writing this while on a week-long ski trip with 25 other Finconners!)

youtube

Other Possibilities

It's possible that I'll add other travel and/or speaking to my year, but it's unlikely. If I do anything else, it'll probably be to fly to Lake Geneva, Wisconsin to help remodel the caboose commune.

A few folks in the FI blogging crowd have begun to buy adjacent units from an old caboose hotel. The group currently owns three cabeese, and may soon add a fourth. Two of the cabeese need hard-core renovations, so we're hoping to get together for a work party. But whether I can join the fun is currently up in the air.

I may also be able to make it to one of the Camp FI retreats held across the U.S. I love these gatherings, but it's getting more and more difficult to justify the expense of traveling to them. If I can make it fit with other travel, I'm glad to go. (Camp FI is an outgrowth of Camp Mustache. It's generally held on holiday weekends at retreat centers around the U.S.)

Lastly, there's a small chance that I'll return to Europe this winter to re-visit the Christmas markets. My cousin Duane continues to defy the odds and beat his throat cancer (yay!). He's hinted that he'd like to repeat our trip from December 2018. I would too, and maybe Kim could join us this time. We'll see. I'm guessing that we'll start serious planning for this in October if it still seems appealing.

As always, I'm happy to meet with GRS readers when they find themselves in Portland — especially if they're able to come my direction. Now that I have office space in Lake Oswego, that makes a perfect meeting space. Let me know if you come to town! We can meet up for beer or coffee — or a dog walk.

The post My travel and speaking schedule for 2020 appeared first on Get Rich Slowly.

from Finance https://www.getrichslowly.org/my-travel-and-speaking-schedule/ via http://www.rssmix.com/

0 notes