#LITERALLY !! REFUSE

[unfortunate17]

I have to stop streaming Läppar before it ends up on my Spotify wrapped 💀

#I REFUSE #literally REFUSE #I hyperfixated on a song this time last year and paid the price #like damn Sweden really slept on this huh

[buggachat]

congratulations to hello kitty <3 @catgirlgames

bonus:

#ml #miraculous ladybug #miraculous #hello kitty #ladybug #chat noir #catgirlgames #catgirl poll #my art #the joke is that i refuse to draw hello kitty from literally any other angle #literally had this comic in my head since i saw chat noir and hello kitty in the SEMIFINALS

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[r-aindr0p]

Man the jury is unhinged on those culinary crucible event

I genuinely thought for a few seconds that Ortho would idk casually nuke the food

#twisted wonderland #culinary crucible #ace trappola #idia shroud #cater diamond #lilia vanrouge #ortho shroud #what’s up with the smiley guys giving you a 1 #not ruggie giving a 4 while divus literally refused instantly to even taste the food please… #and idia being well himself is just absolutely fantastic #he’s so damn pathetic why is he holding the spatula with the tips of his fingers (affectionate) #loving his voiceline abt cater bringing him the happy meal toy whenever it’s anime themed #twst shitpost #managed to pull him and still have 100+ rolls waiting for rollo and I will stack more keys

[hannibal-is-my-comfort-show]

#They metaphorically die in eachothers arms (i refuse to believe they're actually dead) 10 years ago #and i dont think anyone has yet recovered #theres literally so much you can talk abt #including the fact that theyre both self destructing idiots (affectionate) #bit alas my vocabulary has vanished #ado yall #hannibal #nbc hannibal #hannibal nbc #netflix #hannibal netflix #renew hannibal #revive hannibal #will graham #hannibal lecter #hannigram #murder husbands

[lazylittledragon]

i refuse to believe that boycotting is hard. my favourite thing in the world is ordering maccies after a late night at work/a concert/getting drunk. yes i do miss it sometimes. but the other night i ordered from a small place near my house instead and it was the most orgasmic burger i've ever had in my life. i very rarely say this but fucking suck it up people are DEAD

#ramble #also only 0.29 delivery instead of 3.99 #and chilli cheese bites #i swear to god the best food you'll ever eat while drunk is from the tiny shithole that's open until 4am #if you're refusing to do literally the smallest thing you can do to help then i have questions #it's FOOD. you'll survive #it's not even NECESSARY food #if it was like a chain grocery place and you don't have access to anything else then i would understand #but it's just NOT #make your own coffee for the love of god #when there is NOTHING you can do to stop this fucking tragedy. and let's be honest there isn't a lot normal people can do #and people say to you 'do this insignificant thing just to show that you even CARE' #and you DON'T do that???? what is actually wrong with you #also i've been worried about this since my last post about sbucks but this is Not an attack on the people who WORK at the boycotted places #because it is an absolute privilege to be able to leave your job and immediately find a new one

[theoldkyokodied]

Aaaaand more very quick stream doodles. This one shot was so fun to watch, it’s so sad that it had to end already. But oh well, let’s not dwell on that and let’s enjoy the good time we had, like disguised tiefling gale being both Karlachs and astarions type, wyll and gale having a spa day, bing bong in general (rip king, you will be missed), and of course the 8 strength fight for magic items <3 thanks to the cast for the chaos, I enjoyed it thoroughly

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #astarion ancunin #gale dekarios #shadowheart #wyll ravengard #karlach #lae'zel #bloodweave #bc I say so #>:3c #I also refuse to draw gale without the beard sorry #I’m so happy we got to see more Tim being chaotic. he’s like the eye of the storm. calm and unassuming while commanding the chaos #around him #the gale wine mom moment was literally so real I nearly cried from laughter when Tim mimed eating the cucumber slices from his face mask #god I wish they could do a whole campaign I would watch that back and fourth #everything I draw that includes them is bloodweave bc I love them dearly. same goes for shartzel (still love that ship name) #I just have not yet drawn actual ship art outside of this of them so I feel less comfortable tagging it as such 🥹

[captain-flint]

x

#our flag means death #ofmd #ofmdedit #ofmd s2 spoilers #blackbonnet #blackbonnetedit #gentlebeard #gentlebeardedit #edward teach #blackbeard #stede bonnet #taika waititi #rhys darby #literally what do i do with this #WHAT DO I DO WITH ANY OF IT #THERE'S TOO MUCH STUFF MY BRAIN REFUSES TO PROCESS IT #im not even capable of reblogging things yet bc my chest feels like i've been gargling and swallowing glass #i keep having to get up and just walk in circles #i've hyperventilated 73 times since yesterday #i knew david was gonna give us everything we ever wanted but that doesn't mean i was ready to see any of it #anyway i just needed this in the highest resolution on my blog #my stuff

[trans-axolotl]

saw a post the other day that said that psych survivors were overexaggerating and fearmongering for saying that people should be aware that having diagnoses on your record can be a danger + impede your life. and the more i think about it the more annoyed i am. because i think people need to know that there are exceptions to health privacy laws that can make having psych diagnoses and psych hospitalization history on your record risky depending on your circumstances. diagnoses follow you through your health interactions-you do not have to consent to have your information shared between providers. judicial proceedings are also an exception to the HIPAA privacy rule, so for things like custody battles, guardianship, getting orders of protection--the court can petition for medical records. there's so many other situations where even if they can't legally access your information without your authorization, people will require you to disclose diagnoses, records, previous hospitalizations and refuse to give you services/hire you/whatever unless you share that information with them. for example in many states anyone (a provider, a cop, friends and family) can disclose that you have certain psych diagnoses like bipolar to the DMV which then might require that you undergo drivers license review as frequently as every 3 months. my university is actively trying to kick me out right now because i had to disclose my medical record, psych diagnoses, and hospitalization history to them as a requirement to stay enrolled.

and i don't want to scare people or make people think that having a diagnosis on their records is automatically going to mean that it is weaponized against us. because i do know plenty of people who have never faced issues with their records. but i do expect that the community supports the people speaking out about the ways that we have been harmed by diagnoses creating barriers to accessing necessary parts of our life. instead of attacking us or saying that we're lying about things we are currently experiencing.

#personal #antipsych #antipsychiatry #mad pride #mad liberation #saneism #it's just like. i think we need to be realistic! and not deny people who are literally talking about things happening to them #and also allow people who have the option. to make informed choices about seeking diagnosis #bc for many of us that isn't up to us. but if you are considering seeking formal diagnosis. there can absolutley be some good and helpful #things that come from that! im not denying that at all! but there's also some negatives #and i think also like. if people refuse to acknowlege the ways this is structurally a problem #how are we going to make it better so that we don't have to deal with thsi stuff

[psychiatricwarfare]

our autism isnt professionally diagnosed and it definitely wasnt self diagnosed either, but a secret third thing :)

#fungal spores #actually autistic #autism #asd #the secret is that multiple medical professionals have told us that we fit the bill for level 1 autism perfectly but refuse to diagnose us #because we dont 'look' autistic... despite that literally being mentioned as a possibility in level 1 autism.........

[egophiliac]

IT'S BUNNY TIME EVERYBODY

(feat. Dilla)

(bugle accompaniment by Yuu)

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #white rabbit festival #ah...the eternal dilemma of 'is it hair dye or whimsical anime hair'. and so we roll the dice again. #so it's canon now that yuu is inexplicably great at bugling. everybody get ready to incorporate that incredible trivia into your characters #anyway HELLO THERE madam spade #i think we have enough evidence now to say that you're not allowed into nrc unless you have an absolutely smoking mom #(riddle's mom has a smoking crater where her heart should be but we digress) #dilla likes two things: BIG VANS and also telling her son's friends all about how he used to literally refuse to not dress like a bunny #and yet now he does not wish to dress like a bunny. :( deuce what HAPPENED #meanwhile epel is too polite to whine at his best friend's mom so he's just hoping vil never finds out he wore a bonnet #silver is like 'i'm the handsomest little marching band boy. i'm taking this outfit back to show everyone.' #and ortho put all his points into POWERFUL THIGHS #he minmaxed leg day and is going to go kick a tree in half #can't wait for part 2 to see if they resolve the exciting cliffhanger of whether or not silver finds an alarm clock

[sneez]

family portrait :D young sam and sybil are behaving themselves and vimes is throwing a hissy fit because they tried to make him wear the helmet

[id: a digital painting of three people sitting for a portrait in a domestic interior. young sam is standing with his hands behind his back and beaming proudly. vimes is standing behind him with his hand on his shoulder, wearing a shiny military uniform and a surly expression. sybil is sitting on the right with an arm around young sam, smiling at the viewer. a plumed helmet is sitting on a table on the left. end id.]

#discworld #sam vimes #sybil ramkin #young sam vimes #artwork #discworld is inspiring me so much at the moment ive got it on the brain #vimes wore the helmet for 3 seconds and then took it off and refused to comb his helmet hair which is why he looks like that #also idk where the idea of sybil wearing wigs came from (i havent read all the books yet so i am not sure if it’s canon or headcanon) but i #am so besotted with that idea so assume sybil is bewigged any time i draw her #thats why she has no grey hairs here. i imagine her having very short wispy hair underneath #i literally love her so much ive been thinking about her for days she means the world 2 me #this is the first time ive drawn either her or young sam and im so happy with how they came out thats exactly how i picture them in my head #ive drawn vimes once before but i can usually get him close to my Brain Picture without too much difficulty #i just think Grumpy Bastard (affectionate) and there he is #also happy end of the year my friends! may 2024 bring you all the things you desire i love you

[bruciemilf]

"Oh har har Gotham is terrible to Joker and that's why he acts the way he does," Gotham worships a hot topic furry with the mental stability of a soggy cracker and thinks a 10 year old vigilante is perfectly normal

#like im.sorry but what the fuck possesses dc writers to depict joker as a biproduct of an intolerant community #that he constantly harms and abuses and generally worsens by just standing there #am i supposed to feel sorry for that bitch? i dont #me personally i think it'd be hilarious if they refused to indulge his pariah complex #collectively they all agree to stop reacting to his antics. oh you're gonna blow up the bank?? haha you prankster #you're gonna kidnap someone and hold them hostage? here let me help you! want me to call batman for you? #hey jokie did you see the game! had a nice weekend? like literally fuck this man lmao #batman #bruce wayne #dc comics #dc #text #text post

[tiredofsatansbullshit]

din, realizing he has a chance to finally get rid of the darksaber: oh thank fuck

paz vizsla, somewhere in the background: what the fuck man

#the mandalorian spoilers #din REFUSED to let paz have it #he was like nah #literally anyone else #din djarin #paz vizsla #the darksaber #the mandalorian #the mandalorian s3 spoilers #sw stuff

[starstrike]

Mithrun's desire as an SA analogue

TW discussion of SA and detailed breakdown of aesthetics evoking SA. The way I discuss this is vivid in a way that may be triggering, though there is no discussion of actual sexual assault. Just survivor's responses to it.

People relate to Mithrun and see his condition as an analogue for a few different things, like brain injury or depression. And I think all of them are there. But I also see Mithrun's story as an SA analogue, and Ryoko Kui intentionally evokes those aesthetics. I think it's a part of Mithrun's character that a lot of people miss, but I very much consider it text. This is partially inspired by @heird99's post on what makes this scene so disturbing; so check out their post, too :)

So to start off with, the demon invades Mithrun's bed, specifically. There's even a canopy around it, which specifically evokes this idea of personal intrusion; the barrier is being pulled apart without consent or warning. The way the hand reaches towards Mithrun's body from outside of the panel division makes it almost look like the goat stroking over his body. It's an especially creepy visual detail; similarly, the goat's right hand parts into the side of the panel as well. It's literally like it's tearing the page apart; but gently. So gently.

Mithrun is in bed. It is his bed that the demon is intruding on. He's in a position of intimacy. The woman behind him is a facsimile of his "beloved" that he left behind; the woman who, in reality, chose Mithrun's brother. He is in bed with his fantasy lover, who is leaning over him. While this scene isn't explicitly sexual, it is intimate. And it is being invaded. The goat lifts Mithrun gently, who is confused, but not yet struggling.

The erotics of consumption and violence in Ryoko Kui's work(remember that the word 'erotic' can have many different meanings, please) are a... notable part of some of her illustrations. I would say she blurs the lines between all forms of desire: personal, sexual, gustatory and carnal, in her illustrations in order to emphasize the pure desire she wants to work with and evoke to serve her themes. Kui deploys sexual imagery in a lot of places in Dungeon Meshi, and this is one of them.

In this case, horrifically. The goat's assault begins with drooling, licking, and nuzzling. The goat could be enjoying and "playing with" its food. But it can also be interpreted as it "preparing" Mithrun with its tongue as it begins to literally breach Mithrun's body. The goat also invades directly through his clothing; that adds another level of disturbing to me. There's nothing Mithrun can do in this moment of violation. Mithrun is fighting, but he is fighting weakly, trying to grip on and push away when he has no ability or option to. All he can do is beg the goat to stop. And it doesn't care. This all evokes sexual assault.

The sixth panel demonstrates a somewhat sexual position, with Mithrun's thighs spread around the goat's hunched over body. In the next, the goat pulls and holds apart Mithrun's thighs as he nuzzles into him. The way the clothing bunches up looks a bit as if it has been pushed up. It has pinned Mithrun down onto the bed, into Mithrun's soft furs and pillows. It takes a place made to be supernaturally warm and comfortable, and violates it. It's utterly and intimately horrifying. To me, this sequence of positions directly evokes a rape scene. I think Kui did this very explicitly. These references to sexual invasion are part of what makes this scene so disturbing; albeit, to many viewers, subconsciously. It makes my skin crawl.

This is also the moment the goat takes Mithrun's eye. Other than this, the goat seems exceptionally strong, but also... gentle. It holds Mithrun's body tightly, but moves it around slowly. It doesn't need to hurt Mithrun physically. But in that moment, it takes Mithrun's eye. Blood seeps from a wound while an orifice that should not be pierced is penetrated. This moment, the ooze of blood in one place specifically, also evokes rape. That single bit of physical gore is a very powerful bit of imagery to me.

Finally; it is Mithrun's desire that is eaten. After his assault, Mithrun can find no pleasure in things that he once did. He is fully disassociated from his emotions. This is a common response to trauma, especially in the case of SA. It's not uncommon for people to never, or take a long time to, enjoy sex in the same way again; or at all. They might feel like their rapist has robbed them of a desire and pleasure they once had. I think this makes Mithrun's lack of desire a partial analogue for the trauma of sexual assault.

Mithrun's desire for revenge was, supposedly, all that remained. Anger at his assaulter, anger at every being that was like it; though, perhaps not anger. Devotion, in a way. To his cause. I don't know. But the immediate desire to seek revenge is another response to SA. But on to Mithrun's true feelings on the matter.

This is... So incredibly tragic. Mithrun feels used up. Like his best parts have been taken away. Like he's being... tossed aside. This certainly parallels the way assault victims can feel after being left by an abuser. Or the way assault victims feel they might be "ruined" forever for other partners. These are common sentiments for survivors to carry, and need to overcome. In the text, it's almost like Mithrun feels the only being who can desire him is a demon who might "finish devouring" him. That that's his only use. It's worth noting that Mithrun trusted the demon. Mithrun's world was built by the demon, and Mithrun, in that way, was cared for by the demon. I think this reinforces Mithrun's place as a victim.

There's also something to be said about Mithrun as a victim of his own possessive romantic and sexual desire. The mirror shows him his beloved just dining with his brother, and it infuriates him. He doesn't know if the vision is real, nor if she has really chosen his brother as a romantic partner. The goat then creates a whole fantasy world where she loves him. As Mithrun's dungeon deteriorates, she is the only person that continues to exist. Mithrun continues to have control over her. And that is the strongest desire the demon is eating, isn't it? There's something interesting there, but I don't know what to say about it.

In conclusion, I think Mithrun's story is an explicit analogue for sexual assault-- though, certainly, among other things! The way the scene plays out and is composed explicitly references sexual violation and invasion of the body. His condition mirrors common trauma responses to sexual violence. And, at the end, he finally realizes he can recover.

Let's end on a happy Mithrun, after taking the first step on his journey to recovery :) You aren't vegetable scraps Mithrun. But even if you were-- every single thing in this world has value. Even vegetable scraps.

#Mithrun #mithrun dungeon meshi #dungeon meshi #ren rambles #dungeon meshi meta #tag later #I refuse to post at prime time look at my dunmeshi meta boy #tw sa #sa tw #this is literally 1200 words slash 6 pages if I added citations and a proper essay format as well as an introduction to Mithrun's character #and general introduction of the text itself #this could literally be an academic paper #lmao #ren meta #rb this plsss i want ppl to read my essay

[fairuzfan]

Apparently Biden's aides are urging him to call for a ceasefire but he's refusing to listen to them the same for congress aides. He thinks its a "loud minority" speaking up against the genocide. If any one of you vote for Biden he will take it as a sign that he did good and do it again if he sees fit. You are not safe.

#literally what the hell #the congressmen are getting an unprecendent number of calls they said but they are refusing to listen #we do not live in a democracy #we are ruled by evil men and women