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delusional-cryptid · 1 year

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What The Thunder Said: Chapter 5 Deleted scene

So, since chapter 5 was getting really long and this scene has very little plot significance, i cut it out. I still finished it tho, so here y’all go!

Same warnings as CH5: “concussion” symptoms, negative self talk, and fainting.

Keep yourselves safe, chapter is under the cut!

The next day was Cole’s turn to babysit, and they’d decided to just play videogames because it couldn't hurt, right? Well, not quite. As soon as the level had started, Jay got so dizzy he nearly threw up. So, with a tasteless joke about jumping off the Bounty, Jay was banned from videogames for the time being. And also from being above deck alone, but Cole didn't tell him that part.

Afterwards, Jay had sprawled across the entire length of the couch, havint tossed his legs over Cole’s to achieve this. Other than the surprise symptoms, it was surprisingly easy to keep Jay from hurting himself, considering how Jay seemed to lack any of his usual energy. And although it worried Cole to see Jay nearly despondent, instead of his usual bouncy, chatty self, he knew that the Blue Ninja had every reason to act this way. Especially since, from what Cole understood, he had some mystic brain damage or something.

So suffice to say that it wasn't too odd for him to be staring up at the ceiling from where he lay on the couch. Though he seemed perfectly content, Cole still worried endlessly about him, and this worry prompted Cole to check in with his friend for perhaps the millionth time.

“Are you sure youre alright? We can always do something else, if…” the Black Ninja trailed off, unsure how to continue.

“Yes, Cole,” Jay snickered, “I'm fine. Just tired, and you're fun enough just to listen to anyways,”

“Hey!” Cole scoffed in fake offense as a smile tugged at his lips, “what’s that supposed to mean?!”

“It means that you’re throwing shade to video game characters who can’t hear you, which makes you look deranged. It’s funny though, so keep it up.” Jay waved his hand for emphasis.

Cole shook his head with a laugh and turned back to the screen.

Truth be told, the light and noise was giving Jay a headache. He had thrown an arm over his eyes to block the light, but it only served as a burning reminder of Jay's time in the departed realm. So he settled to remove his arm and just squeeze his eyes closed to try and shut out the horrible flashing light.

Eyes still fixed on the screen, Cole’s voice arose to suggest “hey, after this level we should head to the kitchen, it’s almost lunch!”

Jay distractedly hummed an assent and moved his legs off of Cole's lap and onto the floor before using one arm to push himself up into a standing position. As soon as he moved, so did that now familiar dizziness. All of the blood rushed away from his head and black splotches crowded his vision and Jay reached out for the arm of the couch.

His fingertips brushed the worn fabric, and he pitched forward.

Cole briefly glanced up, eye caught by the motion. His muscles seized with terror as Jay fell, and Cole didn’t have to think before his body moved. The controller clattered to the ground, discarded, as the Earth Ninja practically threw himself off the couch to stop Jay from hitting the ground face first.

The man lunged, half tackling Jay before scooping the Blue Ninja into his arms and righting them both. Cole gingerly laid his partially-conscious friend back on the couch. Even though the Black Ninja was terrified, and way out of his depth, he knew he had to handle this. There was no use shouting for help, the other occupants of the bounty were either out running various errands, or much too far away to hear. So it was all on him… no pressure.

“Jay? Jay! Hey, you okay?” Cole asked, nudging Jay’s shoulder. The Blue Ninja only groaned in response, which did nothing for the buzzing anxiety in Cole’s heart. “Buddy I need you to talk to me, okay? Whats goin’ on?” As much as the Black Ninja tried to force down the panic invading his voice, there remained a small twinge of fear within his otherwise calm words.

“Hnng-” Jay whined incohesively, “Itsuhnubefine…”

Cole couldn't help but laugh at that, Jay was trying so hard to comfort him, even if Cole could barely understand a single word that fell from his friend’s lips.

“Blue- come on, I’m not the one who’s barely conscious. Just-” Cole let out a relieved sigh, “yeah, you'll be okay…”

You have to be.

The last bit went unsaid, leaving an empty space hanging in the air. Cole doubted that Jay noticed, hell, he kind of hoped Jay hadn’t. The Lightning Elemental showed no sign that he had understood, instead taking Cole’s silence as an opportunity. It only took another short moment before Jay was trying, not for the first time and certainly not the last, to get up.

Cole, on the other hand, was having absolutely none of that. As soon as Jay moved to prop himself up on one arm, Cole shoved him back down onto the couch. He didn't do it roughly, he hadn't needed to, all it really took was a light push to the shoulder to knock Jay back down.

By then, the Master of Earth could barely think through the heavy fog of worry that clouded his mind.

“Yeah. no.” was all Cole could think to say, it seemed to suffice, though, because Jay stayed down.

He didn't stay quiet though.

“But Cole! Im fine!” Jay whined, batting away his friend’s hand as it appeared by his wrist, seeking a pulse.

“No, you’re not! What's your deal, man? You need- no- Jay!” Cole finished with a frustrated groan.

This time, through pure stupid luck, Jay did manage to push himself up, just enough so that he could lean against the arm of the couch.

“No worries!” Jay grinned, tone laced with misplaced calmness, “see? I’m okay!”

Cole deadpanned, “bullshit. I'm gonna call Zane-”

Waving his hands around, Jay laughed tersely “No! No, no, no, theres no need for that! Like I said, totally fine!”

“Jay.” Cole scolded. His tone was firm, but not unkind. Not even anger could twist his cold fear into anything more than increasingly-potent distress, born purely of care.

Jay broke, then. At the audible anguish in his friend’s voice, he couldn't stand to dismiss this anymore. It was his fault that Cole was so upset, so worried, so sad sounding.

“Okay… its- It really isn't a big deal, it's not like I haven’t passed out before-”

“WHAT?” Cole shouted desperately.

Jay winced at the volume, “I said it's no big deal!”

He tried his best to placate the Earth Ninja, and failed miserably. There was a long silence where Cole refused to meet his eyes, and with every passing second that they sat there in a horribly tense silence, the dreadful sense that Jay had royally fucked up grew more and more.

Cole broke the silence, “How many times?”

Jays mind stuttered, “only… well, three, now.”

“Jay, its only been three days.”

He laughed awkwardly and averted his gaze, “yeah, I- yeah…”

Cole sighed and placed his head in his hands.

Ohh boy, I am soo screwed… Jay thought grimly. Someone, maybe not Cole, but someone, was gonna kill him for this.

When Cole spoke next, Jay could hardly stop himself from curling in on himself and hiding away from the world.

The man had sounded so heartbroken, and completely helpless when he asked; “Why didn't you tell us?”

With one breath, Jay considered lying again.

With the next, he let go and allowed the truth to all but rush out from his lips.

“I… I’ve already been so… useless, lately, and I didn’t want you guys to worry any more than you already have to, cause I know needing to take care of me sucks and I’m trying to get better so you guys don't have to keep babying me, cause, like, I know I’m the weakest of everyone but its not fair for you all to need to pull that extra weight, especially now that i'm even more useless than before and I just hate burdening you all so much and I just figured that if you didn't know about it then it would all turn out okay!”

Upon seeing Cole’s crestfallen expression, Jay tried to fix it. “Uh... or, something like that…”

This one moment of true honesty was never going to unfurl years and years of subtle white lies that have only spun a thin cocoon to protect Jay, his true feelings and fears, and keep them far away from anyone he could hurt. Jay knew that well, but at least he could do this. Even if it seemed like a mistake, even if it seemed like it had only hurt the ones he loved most.

Right as Jay was about to laugh it off, make some joke, completely invalidate everything he just admitted to, he was hit by a wall of warmth and smothered in a crushing embrace. After a moment of stunned hesitation, Jay returned the hug. He buried his face into Cole’s shoulder to try and force back the tears that burned behind his eyes. He didnt know why he was crying. He shouldn’t be. Neither man moved for a long moment, the stillness only broken by Cole’s soft words.

“Youre not useless, or weak, or a burden. You never were. We- I would take care of you for as long as you need, so long as you're here. Alive.”

The genuine worry-laced compassion in his friend’s voice tore Jay's heart and his careful facade finally shattered.

Before he could stop it, tears were falling from Jay's eyes like rain in a thunderstorm and soaking invisibly into the black fabric of Cole’s shirt. The same fabric that Jay twisted in his tight grasp as silent, stuttering sobs shook his newly fragile body.

Jay couldn't do it, couldnt do this. How was he meant to live with all his friends telling him how worried they were, how happy they were that he was alive, and how much they cared for him, only to leave them so soon. And leave them without any idea why, too. Maybe it’d make it easier for them if they knew the stakes. If they knew Jay had chosen this. Something told him that they'd suffer all the same. There was no good option, and it wasn't fair.

Jay curled further into the embrace as a fresh wave of tears fell.

Cole kindly indulged him until Jay was ready to let go. It took a while, even after Jay's tears dried and his breathing steadied, he couldn't make himself move away from the warm heartbeat that calmed his mind.

But once Jay finally did pull away, Cole didn’t fully let him go. He held the Blue Ninja at arms length and even though Jay refused to meet his eyes, he knew Cole was basically studying him.

Cautiously, the other man started, “when everyone gets back, I’m gonna tell Lloyd and Zane-“

“Cole-“

“No one else has to know unless you want them to. But Lloyd and Zane need to know.” The Black Ninja elaborated firmly, “Lloyd’s our leader, and whether you like it or not, it’s on him if you get hurt. Zane’s our acting medic now that you’re out of commission, so he needs to know too. Sound good?”

“No. But fine, tell them.”

“I will. Now, are you okay?”

“Everyone keeps asking that. Yes, Cole, I’m fine.”

“I still don’t believe you, but okay. Wanna put on something stupid and take a nap?”

Jay nodded, so Cole retook his spot on the couch and found some old movie for them to watch.

—

When the other three ninja returned from their weekly grocery run, Zane broke away for a moment to check in with the two who had stayed home. only to find Cole in the living room pinned beneath a sleeping Jay with a hand buried in the his friend’s hair. Zane softly laughed at the glare Cole shot him at the click of his camera.

The look didn't stick, because Cole waved him over and whispered for him to get Lloyd, which Zane did. Once they’d both returned, Cole launched into his hushed explanation of the day's events. He told them that Jay had passed out trying to stand up, and that it wasn’t the first time.

“I’m really worried about him, he kept talking about not wanting to be useless and weak and… I didn’t know what to do.” Cole frowned at his sleeping friend, “I can't believe he didn’t tell us…”

“It’s not too unexpected for Jay to have fainting spells, however, I agree. It’s quite worrying that he didn’t say anything about it.”

Lloyd just nodded along, worry etched into lines on his face as he tried to come up with some way to help Jay.

He drew a blank, “I really don’t know what to do if he won’t let us help him…”

“Oh! That’s another thing, he doesn’t want anyone else to know. He- he said he feels guilty about burdening us, but he didn't really listen when I tried to tell him otherwise…”

“And if he managed to hide this, it’s possible that there are other things that he’s not telling us.” Zane added thoughtfully, he didn’t mean for it to cause any more anxiety in the other two (waking) ninja, but they exchanged a mirrored look of cold fear at the possibility of some devastating unknown.

“I think we just need to keep a close eye on him for now.” Zane amended.

Lloyd and Cole both assented, already fixing their minds on ways to help their loved one. It’d be difficult to take care of him, especially when he fought them every step of the way, but they could all be just as stubborn when they wanted to be.

Maybe everything would turn out fine. Besides, once he was healed, everything could finally go back to normal!

#what the thunder said ninjago #remy rambles #ninjago #remy writes #ninjago fanfiction #jay walker #cole brookstone #yk what this could totally be implied bruiseshipping #huh. take that how you will

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the-void-has-questions · 5 months

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Writers have two moods, wanting to write but not writing, and writing so much that they misspell “water” several times before giving up and going to bed

#this is a joke I am not going to bed #i literally misspelled water wrong four times in a row before making this post #the only reason it’s right NOW is bc I used auto fill…. sobbing #look it’s like 3am but I NEED to finish this outline so no sleep for the wicked #remy rambles #remy writes #kinda

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creativity-no-renewal · 5 months

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Should I rebrand to a Dan and Phil account lol

#remy writes #Dan and Phil games came back and I’m not normal about it #I would like to scream but idk if that’s cringe or not

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the-hoely-bleach · 1 year

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Vapid teen high school movie where introvert new girl is adopted by extrovert cool girls except the introvert new girl is a trans girl and the popular girls teach her how to her makeup and shop and make her boobs look bigger, help her decide what kind haircut to get, teach her how to pass when it comes to body language and posture, I dunno what the actual plot or concept would be, maybe the popular girls have some internalized misogyny or something and pass those ideas onto the trans girl(oh! She’s also autistic because I’m autistic and trans and fuck characters having to only be one thing and plus, autism and gender fuckery tend to mesh and interesting ways), and they goes through an arc about learning that there is no one way to be a woman; so the popular girls start to allow themselves more forms of self expression and subsequently start to like themselves and enjoy life more, and the trans girl understands herself a bit better and knows that all it takes to be a woman is to identify as one. No transphobia plot lines though, this movie is not about transphobia it is about the divine feminine.

Anyways I desperately need a transfemme to write this I’d do it myself but I’m transmasc, I can’t write a story like this I do not have the experience

#writing promt #?#I just watched mean girls and clueless for the first #time #(I know okay)#and couldn’t stop thinking about how cool it’d be to have a mean girls-esc story about an autistic trans person #cause honest cady gives autist vibes #like the ‘high functioning’ autism stereotype I mean #then she gets adopted by a group of hyper feminine girls #who also happen to be quite mean #who basically teach her how to mask #but then she mirrors them a little too well and becomes one of them without even noticing #because she thinks this is just how teenage girls are ‘supposed’ to act #I hope this makes sense I’m very high #bleaching my thoughts #remy writes #trans #transfem

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originalartblog · 9 months

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Tiny skk adventures!

not like they're also cranky and tired and touch-starved

#tiny skk adventures #''why is chuuya at the ada'' you're asking too many questions. why is any of this happening.#this skk flavour (like most i offer) comes with a free choice of romantic platonic something in-between or whatever else you may want #but here the longing is mandatory #bsd #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs #bsd fanart #bsd dazai #bsd dazai osamu #bsd chuuya #bsd nakahara chuuya #skk #soukoku #and friends #nawy's comics #AH DANG I FORGOT TO WRITE #dedicated to remi who's enabling me and bombarding me with ideas for the tinies

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sharp-fanged13 · 19 days

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What a wonderful occassion to remember this happened and is canon af:

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feral-ballad · 6 months

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Remi Kanazi, from Before the Next Bomb Drops: Rising Up from Brooklyn to Palestine; “Layover in Palestine”

[Text: “just want to sit and be present / feel what it is like to be home / without someone pulling / on my shoulder / taking me away”]

#remi kanazi #palestinian literature #occupation #genocide #death #ethnic cleansing #resistance #displacement #excerpts #writings #literature #poetry #fragments #selections #words #quotes #poetry collection #typography

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ashersanity · 4 months

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Something awfully ironic about owners and their pets, leathered collar tucked snugly around your neck, the material pressed against your skin serving as a cold reminder of their ownership over you. The smug smirk that graces their lips, quirked up just a bit, rhythmically tugging at your leash whenever they please to show off the pretty little thing that they’ve got. Control. Power. That’s what they want, wish to have over you, willingly letting them do however they please, familiar sensation of their palm ruffling your hair, praising you for being so good.

So very good, especially behind closed doors. No one gets to see the way they lovingly press kisses to the tip of your cock head, pink tongue darting out to hungrily slobber all over your length, drool dripping over the base. Who would’ve known? How the so-called refined, well-mannered owner is at your feet instead, servicing you on their knees and needily sucking on your balls like a whore does. Faint string of saliva left on your tip as they finally part from your cock to claim their prize. Hot, shaky breaths ghosting over your shoulder, slender fingers, the same ones they used to clip that collar, invitingly spreading their slicked, wet hole apart for you to sink into. Wouldn’t want to keep their cute pet waiting for their well-earned reward, would they?

— “F-Fuck..! Just like that, mmmh— Keep going, pup..”

That same voice that coldly commands you, now turned into broken moans, desperately clawing at the muscles on your back in attempt to steady themselves as you rut into them like some rabid animal in heat, stuffing them full. Well, it wouldn’t exactly be far from the truth either, conditioning you to their every whim and touches left over your body, visible outline of your hardening cock underneath the fabric of your pants.

The smacking of your balls meeting their now stretched, wide open hole, grown puffy and sore from the slam of your hips and oh, how their velvety insides tighten around you, taking your fat cock so well. Reducing them to this blubbering mess, your beautiful owner, falling apart on your cock, just the brush of your tip hitting their sweet spot is enough to have them cumming and calling out your name like a slut. How depraved can one be? What would the others think of them? Hushed, discreet murmurs shared among each other, about the dignified master’s pornographic moans in the dead middle of the night, echoing and heard through the private chambers, caused by none other than you.

But fuck, as you lazily slip out of them at long last, feeling so very empty once more from the absence of your cock filling them up to the brim. Thick, white cum dripping between the length of their thighs, splattered across their pristine skin. Glazed over eyes gazing up to meet your own, hand reaching up to affectionately trace along your cheek.

Yes. That’s right, they think to themselves. Their perfect pet. So fucking perfect. They wouldn’t have it any other way.

remy, avery, briar, zhongli?, kamisato ayato?, geto suguru?, raiden shogun?, neuvillette?, your favorites, i suffer from amnesia as to who else there is on that list.

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transformativeworks · 7 months

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I'm not sure if this is the place to ask. I am in a bit of a trouble as I wrote a 8k word chapter. I am wondering if this is just too long. Cutting it in half wouldn't be satisfactory, but doable. Would it be better to cut it or leave it that long? I might be able to cut some things from the story and come down to 7k. I need advice.

Hey Nonnie -

I am merely a tumblr mod, so this advice is coming from an avid fic reader and not the OTW hivemind (if there is one, I have not yet been invited to that groupchat)

Do what brings you joy. Writing fic is supposed to be fun. It is a labor of love that you send out into the void because your passion cannot be contained.

There is not a specific wordcount that makes a chapter Correct. I (personally) have never in my days noticed how long a chapter was, since I always click on Entire Work.

I probably would have sent a private reply, but instead we shall ask the tumblr community -

~ Mod Remi

#archive of our own #ao3 #fanfiction #fan fiction #writing #fandom #mod remi #are there writing conventions for different fandoms and chapter length?#i confess i have been in fandoms a long time and have never considered fic chapter length as a thing i should pay attention to

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ratlingrun · 15 days

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I don’t care whether you like rooster teeth or not the idea of deleting 21 years of media should be incredibly concerning

#Remy writes #rooster teeth #if I wasn’t so so sleepy I would explain how it especially fucks over artists/editors/animators/etc #bc how are they going to showcase their work to potential employers if the work No Longer Exists #also They Will Do This To Your Fave

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fruitzbat · 9 months

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There is this bizarre mischaracterization problem with Kingsley in the CR fandom that I think shows a certain level of contempt for the character himself — and honestly, I think it’s really revealing about a troubling hallmark of conditional support of nonbinary people in real life, which I find beyond hypocritical given…well, let’s get into it.

For starters, I'm not bothering with leaving a disclaimer about how not all fans do xyz or why I think that anyone should listen to me over anyone else. We’re adults here, we should know that things are nuanced by now. I also think talking about my own qualifications here is silly and masturbatory given that this is fandom and I'm very much doing it for free along with almost everyone else, so I'm not gonna waste the space.

Getting into the exceptions and such is well beyond the scope of this post, and I frankly don't think anything I say in this will convince anyone of anything — I just need to get it out there. If any of does change your mind, great! Icing on the cake.

*eyes glowing* anyway,

Given the admittedly considerable amount of work I do relating to his character, I wade through Kingsley's character tag a lot, and in many different places. On here, on Twitter, on AO3, his tag is full to the gills of bits of people writing stories in which he steals up to a certain member of the Nein and showers them with gifts and forehead kisses and...for lack of a better term, 'Mollyisms', and lays there enraptured while they talk about their relationship with Molly — who, obviously, is him. He's called "circus man" and is unbothered by it; it's testimony to the fact that this person and Kingsley have a history that transcends silly things like death.

Thus, the general depiction of Kingsley within the fandom is one that is not unlike Molly's, if not a 1:1 replica: a fun-loving, carefree libertine whose sun often rises at a certain other member of the Nein's forehead and sets are their toenails. He's curious about his past lives, but sees minimal distinction between them and himself.

And that's utter motherfucking hogwash.

The thing is, Kingsley's not an act II of Molly. He’s arguably a very different person from Molly, and the drift in Molly’s canon and fanon depiction is an essay on its own (not to mention the shift in perception in-universe, also brilliant and fascinating in its own right).

And I sincerely want us to think about that oversight in the same vein as if there were a considerable amount of Critters making content about, say, Beauregard Lionett falling in love with a man when she's explicitly a lesbian. Like, to me, it is that dire. And I will explain why that is momentarily: once I finish talking about who he actually is, and one of the principal culprits that I blame for this schism.

"But fruitzbat," some people might cry. "But fruitzbat, we have so little to go on. He's hardly shown himself on stream and he does, in the end, come from Molly!"

To that I would reply "skill issue," because Kingsley very much has distinguished himself from his siblings. Fandoms have extrapolated way more about a character with far less in the past. I didn't live through Superwholock on this website for anyone to tell me that they can't pull a fully-fledged character out of one episode of something. With all due respect, git gud.

Kingsley is a hustler and a cutthroat. He's driven, micro-managey — like, PAINFULLY Type-A, and interested in staying alive and making a name for himself; but in contradiction with this sense of self-preservation, he’s also ready to impulsively give himself up for a greater good and/or "make new mistakes", which can be read as altruistic at its best and unhealthy and self-deprecating at its worst (a trait which he definitely shares with Molly). In commenting on his new outfit, I’ve shitposted in the past that Kingsley is frum, but it's really not that far off. He doesn't like to leave things to chance, and also strongly believes in taking care of his own — he notably takes excellent care of the Nein Heroez’s crew. He doesn't suffer fools, he's snarky (too many examples to list them all, but have a few of my favorites), and also thoughtful and analytical and a skeptic. And most of all, he’s eager to learn and curious — not just about Molly and Lucien, but in general.

He jokes about being Lucien at one point, but makes it very clear that it's not him when people in his life make that slip-up. He's also been making the point that he’s not either of them as early as the campaign finale. And within the special, too, it’s pretty unambiguous. And then there’s Taliesin himself, also making it very clear that he’s a separate animal and on top of that, that he’s an absolute fucking badass.

And as mentioned, it's true that there's overlap with some of Molly's business — he's theatrical and loves fashion, for instance. But honestly, this character has far more in common with Lucien than he does with Molly. Lucien, who spoke multiple languages and lead a mercenary group into Aeor and back multiple times. Lucien, who even the mere prospect of him being resurrected was enough to reassemble the Tombtakers. If that’s not the makings of a Plank King, I’m not sure what would be.

And here's another thing: "Kingsley came from Molly" in and of itself is a misnomer. Based on both the stream and the addendum from the Lucien novel, Kingsley is mostly the reforged soul of Lucien — Molly's soul fragment was reintegrated into the rest of Lucien's. Kingsley is what was born from that fusion. When interceding on the failed Raise Dead spell, Caduceus said "put it back...whoever it was." There's just as much potential to say that it was Lucien's soul returned to that purple body by Melora as it was Molly's.

In all candor, I think it has a good deal to do with how many vocal Molly fans wanted Widomauk to be canon or somehow endgame.

The inherent tragedy of the dynamic between Caleb and Molly is that there is a constant specter of what could have been. Neither encountered each other when they were at a point to pursue their attraction, and Molly was dead before anything could come to pass. As a passive observer, I think that this what could have been has bled into the fanon interpretation of all kinds of purple tiefling content, mostly because there's so little to analyze otherwise. One only has to glance at the tags for the Lucien novel or the Molly origin comic to see what I mean. And I think that this has also significantly impacted the fanon depiction of Kingsley.

I find that this fandom in particular has a huge problem with sacrificing characterization in the name of fanon archetypes and tropes, but due to the distinct nature of Kingsley’s character this can veer into…I mean, pretty ugly territory.

People love the reincarnated lovers trope, and I see that applied here the most, to which I always want to remind people that Kingsley is probably more like a joined Trill. He has these past lives and memories, but just like Ezri isn’t quite Jadzia isn’t quite Kurzon Dax, Kingsley isn’t Molly isn’t Lucien. Ezri didn’t hop up and get busy with Worf, even when Jadzia had been his wife. Far from it, actually. Similarly, Jadzia had an entire exploratory episode dedicated to encountering Kurzon’s spouse and deciding that she (regretfully for lesbians everywhere) felt differently.

It’s true that it’s not completely baseless; I’m genuinely not saying that. It’s true that one of the first things King did was flirt with Caleb when he woke up. And then when he’d come more into his own, there was all that wild talk they had during the…

Oh wait, that’s right. They didn’t speak one on one even once during the reunion. So the argument could easily be made that in the chunk of the stream that showed us the most about who King was as a person, he didn’t touch Caleb with a thirty-nine and a half foot pole. Meaning that at this point in time, the basis of the ship is predominately Caleb’s relationship to his elder siblings.

I don't have time and ultimately have no interest in unpacking that in terms of it being solid foundations for a romantic relationship — we all can read, baruch hashem — and will also assume that there’s content about that dynamic that explores that weirdness with all the complexity that it deserves. But my central point here is that I’m seeing vanishingly little of it, and far more of it being used in a way that denies Kingsley his own identity. The point isn't hating on a ship. Widoking in and of itself is fine, the point is that people aren't actually shipping Kingsley with Caleb. They're shipping him with someone wearing the skin of his dead older brother.

Which brings me to my next point...

I find this aspect to be incredible given the extraordinary way that this campaign explores trans identity and narrative. Plenty of other folks have written about the extent that campaign 2’s focus on identity as a theme has resulted In one of the most comprehensive studies of several different types of trans stories. Like, VETH?!?

BEAU?!?! Not to mention FJORD’S UNRELENTING T-BOY SWAG?!?!?!

And yet.

And, yes, it is that deep. Let me explain.

Molly and Lucien are canonically genderfluid. Kingsley hasn't come out as anything yet, so the jury is still out... though many people, myself included, headcanon that he's some flavor of not cis.

For me, this is because Kingsley’s narrative is arguably more a traditional trans one than Lucien or Molly's: being born with the expectation that he would be one thing, then coming to his family — who hold that expectation quite dearly — and asserting that he is someone and something else completely different from that. Lucien and Molly are trans characters, no doubt, but their stories are not about being transgender. And there is an intrinsic quality to King's that definitely is.

The notion of "trans narrative" is also something applied to someone like Nott/Veth, even in a world where transness is not stigmatized. So while transphobia is not a thing as we understand it in Exandria, that doesn't change that Kingsley “came out” and transitioned in a more recognizable way to us than Lucien or Molly ever had to — in the same light as Veth arguably struggling with her self-image in a way that many trans viewers find exceedingly familiar.

If we can apply the queer critical lens and think of Fjord being a trans guy deconstructing toxic ideas of masculinity, or of Beau being a trans girl dealing with transphobic parents that wanted a son, got one, and cast her aside, we can also use that same level of discernment when it comes to Kingsley. There's precedent.

I don’t mean to get personal here, but the flat out dismissal of Kingsley's identity as an individual and not as the sum of other parts reminds me so much of my own experience of having come out as non-binary and then telling people that I was going to start HRT. The support dried up almost immediately the minute I made it clear I wanted to switch pronouns again and pursue medical transition, though I still conceived of myself as effectively genderless.

So long as you’re fun and funky and trans in a way that isn’t obtrusive, it’s fine. Well, “fine” isn’t the right word, but people are so fucking terrified of you becoming one of “those” trans people and taking the scary hormones and changing your body and getting the surgeries. It's the cousin of that perennial TERF talking point of "why can't you just be a tomboy/effeminate gay guy". As if being a tomboy/fem guy is somehow easier, too!! But I digress. To a lot of folks, Kingsley can be whatever he wants..........so long as he doesn't reject Molly as a foundational part of him, if not the, and heaven help him if he diverges from the mold Molly left for him.

For this reason (and for other transgender reasons that I don't want to get into), that has made engaging with a lot of this faux-Kingsley content difficult. Because Kingsley came out! Kingsley has told everyone who he is and what he's about, and folks are ignoring that in favor of an interpretation that centers a different person's existence entirely. And with this coming from a group of fans that tends to trend towards being trans, too, that's quite the bitter pill.

Creatively, I firmly believe that people can do whatever they want forever. And everyone has the right to make content where their Barbies scissor. I, for one, also am 100% guilty of it in other contexts. That doesn't bother me.

What does bother me is a collective delusion where a significant chunk of the fandom, in missing their tragically dead non-binary character, effectively stuff a separate one that resembles him back into the closet without noticing the cruelty of doing so. In fact, relishing in it.

And while these people are fictional and aren't real and can't feel pain aside from what we inflict on them narratively, it gives me pause about the way this trend mirrors common transphobic behavior I have experienced as a non-binary person myself. Thus, I cannot possibly watch it happen and not feel compelled to say something about it.

In essence, Kingsley has told us time and time again who he is and what he's about. If we say as fans that we respect the narrative integrity of Campaign 2, I think it's important that we listen and honor that.

#critical role #kingsley tealeaf #cr2 #mighty nein #'remy are you procrastinating' AND IF I WAS #new tea leafing #meta analysis #remy yells #remy writes

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delusional-cryptid · 10 months

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Look. I KNOW it’s out of character, Pixal would NOT say this. But methinks she should be allowed to (:

#I wrote this on accident. I got a text-rant and wrote fucker and was like haha let’s run with it #remy rambles #ninjago #pixal ninjago #fanfic #remy writes #o7 #yes this is from wtts I’m TRYING #it’s funny anyways

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the-void-has-questions · 10 months

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Who the fuck let me write the most absolutely DEVASTATING line in a fic outline and WHY did I forget about it until now 😭 I can’t even post it bc it’s SUCH a spoiler for “what the thunder said” like?? Un. Called. For.

#literally crying over it a lil #like bro tf #????#I might put it on insta but. no. it’s gotta be a SURPRISE #but it’s also SUCH A BANGER LINE LIKE OMG WHAT WAS I ON????#remy rambles #what the thunder said ninjago #remy writes

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enbysiriusblack · 2 months

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"Come on, Remus!"

"I hurt you."

James frowned at the large duvet lump on Remus' bed, "It doesn't matter."

The lump shook slightly, "Of course it matters, look at your face."

James glanced in the mirror across the room, "Dashingly handsome, I know."

"Not what I meant."

James stayed silent a momemt before sitting down gently at the end of the bed, "Have you ever done that before? Scarred someone?"

"Other than myself? No."

"I have."

The top of Remus' head peaked out from under the duvet, curiously staring at James.

"You've seen my dad", James shrugged, "That scar on his cheek? I did that. And there's a few more scattered on his body."

"How?"

James lifted his hand to his hair, pulling on a few strands, "I uh- I was a very unruly kid."

Remus snorted, "Course you were."

James grinned at him, "Yeah. I'd never just settle down, always had to be whizzing about. And my dad had to try keeping up with me- but y'know they're old, and I'd cause mum and dad a lot of pain trying to catch up. And one day, I was about six or seven, my dad was playing quidditch with me. And he was the keeper, so I was trying to get the quaffle pass him. And I got a bit too into the game. I saw an opening so I threw it, and I thought he was about to catch it, but I had put a bit more force behimd the throw and it came barrelling right into his face. He fell off his broom and passed out for about ten minutes, his right cheek was split right open, from the ear to the corner of his mouth. I didn't play quidditch again for years."

Remus stared at him, "But you did start playing again."

"Yeah", he nodded, "Dad was so upset I stopped because of it, but I just couldn't play afterwards. But then Marlene moved next door and Dad suggested I ask her round to play quidditch with me. Obviously I refused but then he said that the scar didn't matter. I may be the cause of it, but to him it's a lasting memory of a fun experience he had with his son, and between getting to play quidditch with me but having a scar or never having played quidditch with me but not getting a scar- he'd always choose spending time with me. And y'know I'd rather have this scar than not be with you on full moons."

"You realise that's a totally different situation, right? Like 80% of people get injured playing quidditch."

James laughed, "Well, yeah. But a scar is a scar, Moony."

"I ruined your face."

"Merlin, you think my face is ruined do you?"

"That's not what I meant!"

James grinned, "I think I'm rogueishly handsome and mysterious now, like you."

"You're much better looking, James."

"Oh, you big flirt! What should I say to people when they ask how I got it? Maybe I visited your pet rabbit and got the same treatment from the little rascal?"

Remus smiled, "Maybe just say a prank went wrong."

#I'm pretty sure I've wrote this exact situation before but-#love the idea of james getting a scar from remis during a full moon and remus freaking out about it #(and also fleamont having scars from james being a very active kid)#remus lupin #james potter #marauders era #marauders #remus & james #my writing

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