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sourwolf-sterek32 · 2 months

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The Dirt (Your Version)

Summary: Meeting Nikki Sixx and Tommy Lee was a coincidence. Being friends was a choice. But falling in love with them both was beyond your control.

A rewrite of The Dirt with all the highs and lows of Mötley Crüe from your perspective.

Pairings: Nikki Sixx x Reader, Tommy Lee x Reader, Nikki Sixx x Tommy Lee x Reader

Word Count: 3.1k

Trigger Warning- self-harm, language, past drug and alcohol abuse

Previous Chapter

Chapter 20- You're All I Need

Over the next few months, you and Nikki became closer than ever before.

You had opened up to him and exposed your deepest emotions and Nikki shared his own with you in response. The trauma you had both endured as children and the darkness that plagued you both as adults only pulled you closer while you learnt how to navigate the world together away from the darkness and into the light.

Nikki was sober now. No alcohol. No drugs. Nothing. He still struggled with his addiction though. The lure and temptation were always there, but he was strong. Stronger than anyone else you knew.

You both had relapsed a few times, Nikki with alcohol and you with a blade. But you were able to pull each other back up and support each other through those bad days. You spent more time at his mansion than your own house by the beach. He liked having you around and you didn't really want to go back to your empty cottage alone.

Neither of you had put a label on what your relationship actually was, but it didn't need one. He loved you and you loved him. And that was enough.

John Corabi left Mötley Crüe. It was bound to happen, and nobody was surprised. The fans wanted Vince back and the band's latest tour with Corabi was a total failure.

Not long after finding out about Corabi's departure, you received a phone call from Vince and by just simply hearing his voice which shook and sobbed a little less, you knew your brother had come out the other end.

He was out of rehab and sober. He could now look at Skylar's grave and decorate it with flowers for her birthday, and he could finally smile whenever he remembers the funny things she used to do. He was still grieving though. He always would be, but Vince was getting better.

"I'm heading to the store. Do you want anything?" You called out, slipping your boots on.

"Grab some bread, if you can!" Nikki's voice shouted from somewhere in the house followed by his laughter. "Wow, that sounded so fucking domestic."

You snorted softly, "bread it is. I'll be back soon."

Out of all the things Nikki could have asked for, he had to ask for the one thing that the grocery store was running low on. He couldn't have asked for milk or something?

Walking down the bread aisle you spotted one lone loaf sitting on the shelf and you sighed with relief before reaching out just as a tattooed hand grabbed the other side of the packaging at the same time.

You opened your mouth about to fight for a stupid loaf of bread, but your voice died in your throat when you saw who's hand it belonged to.

Tommy Lee.

"Holy shit, Y/N?"

You smiled, "hey Drummer."

Suddenly the world around you faded away and you forgot you were in a grocery store surrounded by random people as you stared at Tommy in person for the first time, in a long time.

"I'm so sorry about Skylar." Tommy quickly said, his hazel eyes saddening as he thought about the little girl that used to follow you around backstage like a shadow.

"Thanks." You replied, glancing down at the ground not knowing what else to say.

Tommy didn't say anything for a moment while he stood there biting his thumb nail. It was a nervous habit he has had ever since high school and it seemed after all these years, he never managed to kick it.

"I've missed you."

You lifted your head at his words and met his gaze as Tommy smiled softly at you.

"I've missed you too." You admitted before he held his arms out silently asking for a hug without trying to force it and you instantly stepped into his embrace before his long arms wrapped around your body tightly.

He rested his chin on top of your head as you closed your eyes, savouring this moment.

It had been too long since you had seen Tommy. You missed him. You missed hugging him.

Slowly, Tommy pulled away but rested his hands on your shoulders holding you in front of him and before you knew what was happening, his lips were meeting yours. You froze for a moment at the unexpected kiss, but was quick to kiss him back, nonetheless.

"Tommy." You whispered against his lips. "This isn't a good idea. You're married."

"I'm sorry." He sighed, pulling away resting his forehead against yours.

"Don't be."

You tilted your head up and placed one last gentle kiss to his lips before taking a step away and smiling sadly at him.

"I'll see you around, Drummer."

You turned and began to walk away.

"Y/N, wait." Tommy called out and suddenly his hand was grabbing your wrist, stopping you.

You let out a pained hiss as his fingers grasped your sleeve. The still healing cut that you had been picking and reopening for the past week suddenly flared in pain.

"Whoa, sorry. Are you okay?" He asked, instantly letting go. "Shit, I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm sorry."

He hadn't grabbed you hard. If it wasn't for the cut, it wouldn't have hurt at all. Tommy might be a little hot headed and easy to start fights when he was drunk at bars, but he was never violent around you. If anything, he was overly gentle, always afraid that he might hurt you by accident, despite you having to constantly reassure him all these years that you weren't some fragile piece of glass.

Although, right now, that was exactly what you felt like.

A fragile piece of glass. Glass that was already cracked and damaged, and on the verge of shattering at the slightest touch.

"You okay?"

You realised that you had taken too long to answer and quickly nodded.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine."

You knew your voice didn't sound convincing, but you gave him a reassuring smile anyway. Tommy stared at you for a moment, those bright hazel eyes full of sudden worry.

"Why are you wearing a jacket? It's like 85 degrees out."

Shit.

"Uh, I've been inside most the day. Didn't realise it was so hot." You lied easily with a shrug of your shoulders.

Tommy didn't say anything for a few seconds, his eyes glancing down to your sleeves before an uneasy expression washed over him. And you knew that he had figured it out because when you were kids, he figured it out too.

Vince had gone off to the beach after school with his friends leaving you alone in the back of Tommy's van.

It had been nearly a week since you and Vince ran away from home. A week since Tommy smuggled you both into his van in the front yard without his parents knowing. And it had been less than 24 hours since you broke your promise and started to cut again.

It was a stupid mistake and you regretted it as soon as you saw the blood. Vince would be so disappointed if he ever found out. He had told you to talk to him if you ever felt like that again, but you didn't.

"Knock, knock!" Tommy's voice called out from outside the van.

You smiled softly, used to his verbal knocking whenever he came out to the van. You sat up and reached over pulling open the side door to find him standing there, his wild brown curls blowing across his face.

"Hey, hitchhiker." He smiled brightly. "I didn't see you much at school."

You only shared a couple classes with him, and you had different friend groups, but the two of you always seemed to cross paths throughout the day between classes and during lunch, but today you had just hidden behind the gym. You weren't in a very sociable mood and didn't want to be around people, especially Tommy because he would be able to tell something was wrong.

"Sorry. Had a lot of work to catch up on." You easily lied.

Tommy stared at you for a moment, his warm hazel eyes glued to yours like he was trying to figure out if you were speaking the truth before he simply nodded and pulled out a small Tupperware container out from behind his back.

"My mum baked heaps of chocolate chip cookies. Figured you and Vinnie might want some."

He held out the container of cookies towards you and your heart fluttered at his kindness.

"Thanks, Drummer." You smiled, holding your hand out to grab them but then Tommy's eyes shifted down to something.

"Hey, what's on your wrist?"

He grabbed your hand and brushed your sleeve up before you even had a chance to register what he was doing and by the time you did, it was too late.

A shocked gasp escaped his lips when he saw the self-inflicted cuts carved into your skin. The container of cookies slipped from his hand and dropped to the floor of the van as he took a step back, his hazel eyes widening in shock.

"Did you... did you do that to yourself?" He asked, unable to process what he was staring at.

You hastily pulled the sleeve back down and folded your arms across your chest so he couldn't see, but it was too late to hide it.

"Don't worry about it." You dismissed, looking away from him.

"Don't worry about it?" Tommy repeated in disbelief. "Y/N, are you... do you want to... did you try to kill yourself?"

Your head snapped back in his direction so fast you nearly gave yourself whiplash, "no!"

"Then why did you do that?"

He didn't sound judgemental or look angry. He just seemed sad and confused, which was worse.

"It's none of your business."

"If I find you dead inside my fucking van, then yeah, it is my business!" Tommy responded, his voice rising a little as he spoke before he ran his fingers through his hair nervously.

"That's not going to happen. I only did it because the pain... it helps." You tried to explain but Tommys brows furrowed in confusion. "I don't expect you to understand, it's okay. But if it makes you feel better, I regret doing it and it won't happen again."

He nodded and remained quiet for quite some time, but to your surprise, he didn't run off. He remained standing by the side of the van watching you carefully.

"Did you treat it?"

His question caught you off guard as you blinked and glanced over at him, his eyes glued to your hidden wrist.

"What?"

"Did you treat the cuts? I don't want them to get infected."

Oh. Oh.

He was worried about it getting infected. That hadn't even occurred to you. It should have, but it didn't.

Your silence was enough of an answer.

"My parents aren't home. There's a first aid kit in the bathroom. Let's go get it cleaned up." He said, holding his hand out towards you. "C'mon."

You stared at his hand for a moment before shaking your head.

"It doesn't matter." You whispered, looking away from him. "I don't care if it gets infected."

"Well, I care."

"You shouldn't." You muttered quietly, glaring at the blanket beside you like it had personally offended you, instead of meeting Tommys eyes. "I mean, look at me. I'm fucked up-"

"You're not fucked up."

You chuckled almost hysterically and shook your head.

"I am. I know I am. I'm fucked up. I'm broken, Tommy and I-I can't be fixed. I know that. I mean who does this? And you know what the real screwed up thing actually is? I-I like it. There I said it, I like it. I like the pain and I know I need to stop, but it's the only thing that helps. The pain... the pain helps, and I don't... I don't-"

"Hey, hey, breathe. Y/N, just breathe." Tommy quickly said noticing that you were working yourself up into a panic and you realised that you were in fact not breathing.

You couldn't breathe.

Shit, you couldn't fucking breathe.

"It's okay, just breathe. Deep breath in, come on. Breathe in, one... two... three. Breathe out, one... two, three. Good. Good. And again." Tommy coached climbing inside the van and sitting beside you.

His hand grasped your shoulder gently as he sucked in deep deliberate breaths for you to copy.

You stared at his necklace, focusing on the silver chain like a lifeline while you mimicked his breathing. Tommy continued to coach you verbally, your eyes glued to the chain trying to focus and after a few minutes your breathing slowly started to even out. You looked away from the necklace, your eyes locking with his beautiful hazel ones.

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry." You sighed. "You didn't- you didn't sign up for this. Just, go. I'm sorry."

You lowered your head fiddling with the loose thread on your jeans, too afraid to look at him as silent tears trickled down your cheeks.

"I'm not going anywhere." Tommy replied. "You're more than just Vince's sister. I care about you, Y/N. Please, come into the house so I can clean the cuts properly. Please."

You tilted your head up and met his concerned eyes before you nodded, "okay."

"Show me." Tommy ordered still standing in the bread aisle of the grocery store as he stared at you with sad knowing eyes.

You blinked in surprise, "w-what?"

"Your arm. Show me your arm." He said again taking a step forward.

"Uh, no." You said, simultaneously taking a step back. "Why?"

Tommy sighed, "you know why. Show me your arm."

You held his gaze as he raised his eyebrows at you impatiently because he knew exactly what you were trying to hide beneath the sleeve.

"Fine." You sighed, lifting the sleeve of your right arm that you knew was bare. "Happy now? I gotta go."

"Your other arm." He quickly said before you could walk off. "Show me your other arm."

You opened your mouth to respond but then an elderly couple walked down the aisle and came to a stop beside you while they stared at the limited selection of food on the shelves. You closed your mouth quickly not wanting other people to overhear this conversation and Tommy seemed to catch on because he remained silent too.

Tommy held your gaze, his eyes filled with so many emotions it was hard to decipher any of them before his eyes flicked over to the elderly couple that had finally chosen their wholemeal wraps and were walking away.

"How many times?" Tommy asked once they were out of earshot because he didn't need to see the evidence to know what you were refusing to show him.

You sighed, "too many."

Tommy lowered his head grabbing hold of the shelf beside him as he sucked in a deep breath before meeting your gaze once again and you were taken back when you saw tears shining in his eyes.

"Look, I-I know I have no right to tell you what to do, but don't do this to yourself. Please."

"Tommy-" You tried to say, but he kept talking.

"I was so scared when we were kids. Even after you and Vince moved out the van, I worried about you. I didn't want to lose you back then and I can't lose you now."

"You're not going to lose me." You insisted.

His eyes shifted down to your arms folded across your chest hiding the cuts, "you sure about that?"

"If you asked me that a few months ago, my answer would have been no." You admitted causing Tommy's eyes to sadden. "I... I wasn't okay. I... maybe I'm still not okay, but I'm getting better. I'm trying to get better, and Nikki is helping me."

A look of relief washed over him at your words.

"Sixx mentioned that he was in contact with you again." Tommy replied smiling softly. "I'm glad that he's helping. I'm sorry that I haven't been there for you-"

"Tommy, don't." You shook your head at him. "I left. And you have a wife. You have your own life to deal with. I'm okay."

He tilted his head with a sad smile, "but you're not okay."

You took in a deep breath and nodded.

"But I will be."

Those big hazel eyes softened as he stared at you before you leant forward and placed a gentle kiss against his cheek.

"I should go." You whispered, stepping back giving him a small smile. "It was nice seeing you again, Tommy."

You turned and began to walk away before he called out your name.

"Y/N."

"Yeah?" You said, turning back around just as he tossed you the loaf of bread.

You caught the bread with one hand and Tommy gave you a friendly smile as you nodded your thanks before walking away.

A few days later you were sitting on Nikki's bed strumming away at his acoustic guitar to the tune of Home Sweet Home when he walked into the bedroom and tossed a magazine down on to the blanket in front of you.

You stopped playing the guitar and looked down at the magazine in confusion until you saw the picture that was covering the front page.

It was you and Tommy kissing at the grocery store with the title: 'Tommy Lee Steps Out On Heather With Y/N Neil'

Your stomach dropped.

Fuck.

You and Nikki hadn't put a label on whatever it was that the two of you had going on. So, you had absolutely no idea how he was going to react. But as you looked away from the magazine to gauge his reaction, you found the bassist smiling softly.

"You still love him, don't you?" He asked, but it was clear he already knew the answer.

You had known Tommy for a long time. The two of you were never close in high school, but when Vince had shown up on his doorstep with you injured in the car and asked for a place to stay, Tommy never hesitated.

He had been there for you from the very start. To sleeping in his van, to looking after you whenever you had migraines, to ditching his honeymoon to be there for you during the miscarriage and everything in between.

"I do. I love him." You admitted, staring back down at the magazine. "I'm sorry."

Nikki walked over taking the guitar from your lap and resting it against the wall before he stood beside the bed and gently pulled your body into his stomach wrapping his arms around your shoulders.

You reached up and wrapped your arms around his midsection leaning against his side as he bent down and placed a kiss to the top of your head.

"It's okay to love two people at the same time." He whispered stroking your hair gently. "It's not like Tommy and I haven't shared you before."

"Wait, but-"

You pulled away as Nikki released you and you looked up to find the bassist smirking happily.

"I want to get the band back together."

Holy shit.

Really?

He sat down on the edge of the bed and reached for your hand lacing your fingers together.

"For so long, I thought it was about... what did you used to call us? The Terror Twins?" Nikki began to say, and you smiled with a small nod. "Tommy and I... we thought it was about us for so long. We forgot that we were a team, and Vince was the quarterback. We forgot what made us Mötley Crüe: the chance collision of four very different, very flawed, and very difficult personalities and the girl that kept us together."

"Nikki-"

"I haven't given up on Mötley Crüe." He stated, squeezing your hand. "Can you help me?"

You grinned, "hell yes."

Next Chapter

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#nikki sixx #tommy lee #motley crue #nikki sixx fanfiction #nikki sixx x reader #tommy lee x reader #tommy lee fanfic #motley crue x reader #motley crue fanfiction #vince neil #mick mars #the dirt #pov #douglas booth #mgk

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adiluv · 8 months

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omg omg going off your obsessed scara can you imagine how he'd react if you got with somebody???? boy would go crazy

❥ 𝐎𝐁𝐒𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐄𝐃 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐍 𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐀 𝐆𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐁𝐑𝐎𝐊𝐄𝐍. ˚⊹꒷

a continuation of this post.

796 words. modern au, obsessive fan behavior, stalking, suggestive, reader is not traveler, not edited.

superfan scaramouche who is initially ecstatic when your group's official accounts announce an upcoming tour within inazuma, hours that he could've—should've spend asleep instead being dedicated to scouring your accounts for venue announcements and pre-sale dates. he goes into a frenzy once the information drops, pulling all-nighters in order to secure tickets at every one of the concerts.

superfan scaramouche who has, as mentioned previously, seen you in person before—attending previous performances both within his home nation and travelling abroad to attend the tours that weren't. but, archons, he just can't control his excitement when it comes to you, having him acting as if it were his first concert.

the chance of seeing his favorite idol while going about his day-to-day, encountering you at all his favorite spots in the city, the possibility of something romantic... his delusional little mind just can't help but jump at it!

superfan scaramouche who personally visits each and every large hotel within inazuma city, convincing ꒰manipulating꒱ them into providing any information they have about exactly where you and your groupmates will be staying. he'll make sure that you, specifically, have the best room in the entire building—anonymously shelling out his own money for sake of upgrading you and you alone.

superfan scaramouche who lurks around your hotel in the same baggy clothing he'd used to disguise himself whilst meeting you, an ominous presence hidden in the crowd that can't help but unsettle you during attempts to go sightseeing before your first show. your nervous expressions are even more intoxicating in the snapshots he takes of you, tucked away in a corner of his room for personal viewing.

superfan scaramouche who has his delusions unceremoniously shattered when his lurking leads him into a bar, eyes wide as saucers and mouth agape as he watches you converse and—and kiss another man that approaches you! despite the stabbing feeling within his chest, he's left totally unable to act as the both of you—intoxicated—stumble out the doors, instead rushing home in tears and on the verge of a mental breakdown. he... doesn't sleep that night.

superfan scaramouche who eventually manages to convince himself that your betrayal is really nothing more than a one-night stand. after all, you certainly couldn't have been in your right mind꒰!꒱ allowing such an... insignificant pest to whisk you away. surely, you must've come to your senses by morning, felt so ashamed by your low standards that you'd come shamefully crawling back to your room.

... only to be proven wrong as he catches you sneaking out during the evening, face hidden beneath an oversized hoodie as you went to go entertain that miscreant yet again. he's in far worse spirits when he returns home, tearing his room apart and destroying half of his merch collection before coming to his senses.

superfan scaramouche who comes to regard this affair of yours as a mistake, even if you aren't exactly aware of it yet. nothing but a mar, if you will, on the perfection that comprises your very being. he's well versed in the dramas of the idol industry, knows well that agencies often exert total control over the lives of their idols. living beneath a ceo's thumb must get exhausting, he decides, a justifiable line of reasoning for this... act of rebellion. it's that worm's fault, really. taking advantage of somebody sweet as you—capitalizing on your naïvety.

superfan scaramouche who, as much as he doesn't want to, believes that there's merit in alerting your supervisors to your rendezvous. actions packaged under the guise of innocent concern, he emails photos of the two of you to your manager—intently eavesdropping on the commotion coming from the hotel that night. you cry until the early hours of morning, his heart aching with each muffled sob.

still, he feels no remorse for his actions, deeming your pain a necessary form of suffering. just like icarus, who flew too close to the sun, you too must learn not to play with fire—to avoid being burnt and falling from the sky.

superfan scaramouche who approaches you during one of your ꒰far more limited꒱ moments of downtime, pointing out the saddened look in your eyes and offering comfort when you vaguely detail your grievances. although there's something familiar about him and the words of praise that slip past his lips, the amount of fans you meet on a daily basis makes it impossible to place the connection—so you instead turn a blind eye and indulge in his comfort. he allows you to weep on his shoulder until your satisfied, the fabric moistened by your tears... revisited later that day.

"shh, shh... i know it hurts now, but really... this was all for the best."

i have a taglist, which you can sign up for here!

#꒰📍꒱﹕my writing ⋆#hey anon?#how does it feel to be the realest person ever ily #genshin impact #genshin impact scaramouche #genshin scaramouche #genshin scara #scaramouche #scaramouche x reader #scara x reader #yandere scaramouche #yandere scaramouche x reader #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #yandere genshin #yandere genshin x reader #genshin impact imagines #yandere genshin impact #yandere genshin imagines

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harrieatthemet · 1 year

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Questions

in which Zane Lowe pays a visit and Harry’s a D list celebrity in his own home.

She’s so excited.

Regardless of what the circumstances may entail, she’s got an incredibly uncanny way of assuming everything is about her. The accumulation of faces, some familiar and some not, the propped up studio lights meticulously scattered throughout the first floor of the house, men with video cameras; it all has to be a backdrop for her.

At least, that’s the impression she's under. Exactly what it all was for remained a mystery to her, but it didn’t matter. A precise reason was merely unimportant. Besides, she was too busy relishing in the adorning of passerby’s; the cooing and compliments of adoration, all the musing at her outfit (the outfit she picked, a ballet ensemble overflowing with enough glitter to blind anyone within a 2 mile radius).

She hates being spoken to like a baby, regardless if she still is one, but she’ll allow it from the man crouching down in front of her “Who did your hair, sweetie?”

It’s a compliment, so she’ll let it slide. Additionally, she’s taken notice to the audience around him; a grouping of people that have now trained their attention to the smallest person in the room. Her. And she’s not going to disappoint them, either.

The man smiles ear to ear, a mic hooked to the collar of his shirt and two phones sandwiched in his palm. He, and the crew behind him, lets a string of aw’s out adoringly as Angel Baby grimaces shyly, running her pudgy hand along the hair hanging off one of the bows from her pigtails.

“Daddy does my hair,” Angel Baby’s voice is soft, and she grins a littler harder when the man mewls at how adorable she is, “he wuvs the bows.”

Putty in her hands; Angel Baby is no stranger to working a room, especially adults, and knows quite well how to play up the chubby toddler bit to win the heart of whoever she may need to. A victim, you call it, and Harry’s a repeat offender. She’s got Zane Lowe on the docket now, too.

“Bubba,” Harry’s exhale glides across the kitchen, like a sigh of relief, “where’ve y’been? Think Mumma might need help outside, should y’take a look ‘n see?”

Absolute buzzkill. Subconsciously she knows everyone’s here for him. Camera’s go up and the posture across the room gets a little stiffer, more proper. Zane straightens out the bend in his knee until he’s standing upright, looking down at angel baby instead of eye level like before.

On the heels of an album release comes the stress of all that entails; interviews, press, tours, deadlines, so on and so forth. The past few weeks Harry’s been a ticking time bomb, much edgier than usual. A perfectionist by default (and by habit), he’s a stickler for doing everything precise and exact. Ultimately, that must be why the house is exceedingly tidier than usual and he’s ready to scurry Angel Baby out of camera shot. She’s got other plans, though.

“No, please.” She smiles because, well, she said please like Harry taught her.

Manners are very important; please and thank you are a must.

“Bub,” now Harry is standing beside Zane, his glide from the other end of the kitchen quick and with intent, “m’loving how polite y’are, but m’not asking. Daddy has work t’do and-”

“I don’t mind if she stays,” Zane interrupts, his body turning towards Harry, “if that's cool with you.”

Angel Baby’s absence in the yard is enough for you to assume that she’s somewhere inside, stirring up trouble and tap dancing on Harry’s last nerve with an innocent smile and a doll in her hand.

Which is exactly what she’s doing: working his last nerve. She’s put together in an adorable package; the outfit, the pigtails and bows, a chubby little face and the sweetest puppy dog eyes. He knows all too well how she plays it up to get her way, but he knows she’s got the menace tendency hidden underneath no matter how thick she lays the cuteness on.

“Alright,” He wants to seem chill, everything’s fine. He’s Harry, he just goes with the flow, “totally cool, yeah.”

It’s music to her ears and now she’s surely got everyone right where she wants them, which is basically eating right out of her hand. They’ve got the cameras trailing right behind the trio, her hand wrapped snuggly in Harry’s as they walk out towards the patio and settle by the pool.

The skipping as she tries to keep up with the two men double her size surely has to have the possy behind her swooning, but she peeks over her shoulder ever few skips just to be sure. And she side eyes you once she notices you just off in the yard, arms folded across your chest with the look. In an attempt to spare her a stern reprimanding from her father (which is never really stern, honestly. He intends for it to be but ‘She's just too fucking cute, can’t yell at an angel like tha’!), you mouth a quick ‘behave’ to her before she shrugs and looks away.

“I know it’s a strange place to start,” Zane shrugs, throwing one leg over the other, “but I noticed your nails.”

Your stood just behind the camera and, yes, the general aura of the physical setting up is quite relaxing; the calmness of the pool, the warm breeze of mid-June, the sun beginning to take it’s break before the moon can step in to take its place. So you should be figuratively patting yourself on the back for such a romantic execution of a backyard landscape, but instead your completely zeroed in on the mischievous toddler perched arrogantly in your husbands lap.

“I think f’me, like-” and right on time, Angel Baby wastes no time in jumping in.

“M’wearin daddy’s nails,” she states proudly, extending both hands as if she somehow needs to provide proof, “’nd they’re glitter pink.”

Zane is good with her; patient and kind as he pretends to do an astonished double take. He even turns it up a notch to feed her ego, like he’s never seen pink polish topped with a coat of glitter.

“M’love,” Harry hums, adjusting one of her lopsided bows, “Y’mind if I jump in?”

Harry’s trying to be patient, you know he is. He absolutely adores angel baby and under any other circumstance, he’d be happy to be just another side character in her show. A puppet on strings, you call it, but he’s never minded until now. You can tell he’s a little edgier than usual; this album is different than others. It’s special. It’s transparent. It’s vulnerable; He’s vulnerable.

She recoils, hands falling back into her lap as Zane and Harry traipse on in conversation. He’s become much more comfortable, his body relaxing into the chair and his words free-flowing. But now you’re edgy, because that silent baby in his lap is revealing just how bored she’s becoming now that the attention has shifted off her. A little more fidgety now, she is; swinging her legs, paddling her hands up and down on Harry’s thigh, even pulling a few faces and mimicking Harry when he talks. He’s so caught up in conversation that he doesn’t catch on to how restless she’s growing. But you do, and you’re eyeing her as she lets out a small huff.

She’s gonna open her mouth.

“No matter what it is, kind of.. you know, the dust or-”

“Actually I'm 3 years old,” she cuts Harry off again, sitting up right with a matter of fact expression etched on her face, “so I’m not a baby. Oh ‘n I have two dolls.”

Zane’s laughter is boisterous, and he nods to make sure she knows that he was definitely not under the impression that she was a baby. And now that she’s managed to weasel her way back into being the center of attention, she’s divulging Zane in a very descriptive recounting of last weeks dance class when she almost threw up.

Harry’s oggling you from the seat, eyes wide as though he is loudly telling you to intervene without causing a scene or rubbing her the wrong way. But he’s also quickly realizing that he’s second best under his own roof, especially as he notices the guy behind the camera adjust the focus and angle a little bit closer on Angel Baby as she drawls on about how hard it is to tie her Gucci sneakers.

“Wait,” she stops mid sentence, putting her hand up to tell everyone to stop before she tugs on the sleeve of Harry’s sweater, “I want a snack.”

He whispers something in her ear, well aware that everyones eyes are firmly planted on him while he mouths something unreadable to the squirming toddler on his knee. Whatever it is he said seemed to do the trick, because he lets his shoulders de-tense a bit as Angel Baby wiggles off his lap before nodding to you to head towards the kitchen.

“Don't worry Mister,” she calls to Zane, “m’just havin’ a snack.”

She scurries off, her head down and arms pacing exasperatedly as she embarks on a light jog out of camera shot and scurries past you to b line it towards the patio doors. What follows is an eruption of laughter from the gaggle of folks in your yard, a soft chuckle and shake of the head from Harry.

“She is such a ham, (Y/N)” one of the film crew compliments, “is she always like this when there’s people around?”

“Absolutely,” your laugh is breathy because despite how irritated Harry’s getting, it’s like someone packed his personality into a tinier body “she’s her father’s daughter.”

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no-psi-nan · 7 months

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Why Tousuke (Akechi x Kusuke)?

Akechi can beat Kusuo, and by extension, Kusuke, at many games, which gives Kusuke a new rival to focus on

Similar intelligence levels but in very different areas, so they can respect, admire, and actually learn from each other

Roughly same age (~2 years difference)

Kusuke can't lie to Akechi and Akechi doesn't lie, so they'd actually be able to communicate lol

Akechi has a strong moral compass so he'll #influence Kusuke towards fewer weapons of mass destruction

But also Akechi is a lunatic so he would think it perfectly cool and awesome that Kusuke made a cat with a hypodermic needle eye (such efficient packaging, you've managed to fit an enormous quantity of equipment into the compact and adorable body of this robotic feline– a sharp gaze indeed!)

Akechi & Kusuke collab on making assistive devices for Kusuo (without any built-in traps 🙄)

Kusuo, Kusuke, and Akechi all now get TWO playmates. What sorts of insane games will they play??

Akechi & Kusuke doing research on psychics together and helping the other characters discover/develop their powers

Akechi could probably get Kusuke to sleep more than 17 minutes a day or w/e lol.

Kusuke finally gets a real friend and cuddle buddy and maybe more...

They're both somewhere in the aromantic + asexual spectrums and Akechi would totally know how to figure out and navigate those feelings.

Akechi wouldn't be freaked out by Kusuke's bizarre fascinations and kinks or by his occasional need to lock himself in the lab and make something insane

Parallel play in the laboratory or Akechi helping Kusuke with experiments & builds <3 Akechi cooking real meals for Kusuke on occasion and often preparing fancy little desserts to share.

Completely insane date nights. Visits to advanced nuclear reactors. Jet pack excursions. Giant mech battles. Billionaire yacht party where someone gets coincidentally murdered and Akechi gets do a "whodunnit" for realsies. Stealing something out of a museum together. Kidnapping politicians who are making very bad decisions. Eating at both Michelin 3-star restaurants and holes-in-the-wall. Cheating casinos. Debating the morality of cannibalism until 4am. Tour of Europe. Fully immersive virtual reality games.

They PVP psychoanalyze each other for fun.

Most intimidating aura combo of all time. Local blond menaces.

They steal each other's clothes all the time and it becomes an increasingly elaborate game to add security measures to their closets. Until they accidentally end up obliterating each other's closets at the same and laugh and have to go shop for new clothes together.

[ Succumb to my propaganda... ]

#akechi touma #kusuke saiki #saiki kuusuke #kuusuke saiki #saiki kusuke #tousuke #saiki k #saiki no psi nan #sknpn #the disastrous life of saiki k.#tdlosk #they are so so so funny to me

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8turning · 10 months

Note

Hii! Could u please do choi san as boyfriend?

of course, thank you for this request!! ♡

⌕ . . . choi san — boyfriend headcannons !

bf ! choi san x gn ! reader ★ fluff. established relationship. ★ bulletpoint ★ warnings: none that i saw. let me know if i missed anything!

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀〈 REBLOGS ARE APPRECIATED ! 〉

💭 THINKING ABOUT : SAN.

despite his exterior, san is a total softie! don't let his sharp features and muscles fool you.

he'd pride himself on being forward with his emotions - a natural flirtatiousness always present in his tone both before and during your relationship.

if he had approached you first after much of your time was suffocated by mutual pining, he'd show that shamelessness just that much more to see if you felt the same even before giving your answer.

but, his entire world would flip if you asked him out first. suddenly, his voice doesn't carry the stability it normally did and he cant meet your eyes. saying "yes" and talking about his feelings became a challenge, but luckily, you were patient with him (only for you to tease him about his bashfulness later on).

ultimately tries his hardest to wave off any shyness he faces because of you (he fails).

your biggest hype man!! never wastes a chance to tell you how amazing and talented and awesome and charismatic and energizing you are. genuinely feels so much ease when he's with you - and you feel such with him as well!

you're both each others safe place - instant relief and stress fading away with one simple hug.

loves loves loves to call you while he's away!! especially before you go to bed or once you wake up in the morning - sometimes when he's on tour, the time differences can line up just right.

when tours end, it almost became a habit to have him spend the next day with you in its entirety, making sure an extra set of his pajamas are at your place for his return.

the type of boyfriend to keep little things with him that can be useful (wants to come off as dependable).

an extra phone charger in his car in case you left yours at your place, another pair of earbuds straight from the package just for you, making sure to have your favorite morning beverage in the dorm at all times or having duplicates of whatever toiletries you have in his own bathroom for when you visit. shows just how much he really pays attention to you through more indirect practices, funnily enough.

but that isn't to say he wont be very direct at times!

he'll often ask you what it is exactly you want or need. want some space to study? got it. need some company while you run some errands? he'll offer to drive you around.

again, very much wants you to know you can depend on him, even if his work is demanding. he'll always be sure you know that he's there for you to rely on.

very much a warm-blanket, finger-tracing, soft-smile boyfriend ♡

#ateez fluff #ateez writing #ateez fanfic #ateez x reader #san fluff #san writing #san fanfic #san x reader #.mine #.san

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shioden · 9 months

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Azul: Thank you for joining us on this package tour, did you enjoy it? Here is your invoice, the total cost of the tent, meals, transportation, and other expenses will be $100,000.

Azul: What? No money? Oh no, maybe you even left your wallet behind because it's a deserted island? Hahaha! Rest assured.

Azul: Just repay me with your body.You're going to work as hard as you can for this island.

#twisted wonderland #twst #twstファンアート #octavinelle #azul ashengrotto #jade leech #floyd leech

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winter-dayz · 6 months

Text

The Ring

Pairing: Han Jisung x Reader (ft. Kim Seungmin) Ghost AU; Possession AU Genre: Fluff Words: 1451 Warnings: suggestive content; strong language

Masterlist | Fictober Masterpost

Taglist: @soobin-chois

“Don’t tell me you’re actually gonna buy something from here. This place is low-key creeping me out, Jisung.” Seungmin eyed the slightly-older boy with judgment. They’d been exploring one of their tour cities and had come across an antique shop. It was littered with dolls and other children’s toys—all of which Seungmin felt like were staring him down. There was also vintage furniture and electronics. The cameras did sort of pique Seungmin’s interest, but he already had a really nice modern camera. Besides, this store was really starting to freak him out.

Why did all the dolls have to be so scary?

“Just let me look through some of the jewelry… These rings are cool, and they’re so high-quality.” Jisung reasoned, never able to say no to a new piece of jewelry.

“Yeah, ‘cause you totally need another ring to add to your collection. You definitely don’t have over a hundred rings that you’ve never even worn because you always wear the same ones.” Regardless, Seungmin left to let Jisung pick out rings, deciding to go further into the store to escape the many glass eyes.

Jisung was trying to narrow down his choices between three rings when he suddenly spotted one that he hadn’t seen before. He put the other three back and walked over to the cashier’s glass desk.

“Um… Excuse me?” He called for the attention of the owner and then pointed towards the ring. “How much for that ring?” The old lady walked over, peered into the glass, and then looked up to Jisung with a wary look. She eyed him for a moment, almost as though considering something.

“It’s about five dollars, but are you sure about that one? It’s quite old…” But Jisung thought it looked nice, and he had a good feeling about that one. It really stuck out to him.

“Yes ma’am, thank you.” He insisted, pulling his wallet out to pay. When she began to package it, he told her he was fine wearing it out.

🎃

Despite Seungmin’s claims—which were not entirely baseless, Jisung did have a shit-ton of rings back home he never wears—Jisung wore his new addition almost daily. So much so that he started growing a weird attachment to it in some of the other’s eyes.

He cleaned it often, even polished it sometimes. Though, he never took it to performances in fear of it getting stolen or lost; instead, when he wasn’t wearing it, it had a special home on his nightstand.

One morning he woke up, reached out to put his ring on, and came up empty handed. He did a double-take when he didn’t feel his new favorite ring anywhere near its usual spot. He looked all around his nightstand, underneath his bed, and tore his blankets off in case he accidentally fell asleep wearing it.

Nothing. He could not find it anywhere. As he re-made his bed, he tried to remember if there was anywhere else he may have left it. He checked the bathroom sink, just to be sure, but he was ninety-nine percent sure he had put it on his nightstand, just like he did every night.

Then he took to checking his roommates' fingers. None of them were wearing it, so he asked if any of them took it without asking first.

And then he began to panic. He wondered if he had carelessly taken it to a performance or shoot and left it behind. When he went back to his room to try and think more, there it sat right where he always put it. The things all around it were still a mess from his hasteful search earlier, but it sat perfect and pretty in its proper position. Strange.

🎃

Jisung elected not to take it on tour with him. After somehow misplacing it, he didn’t want to risk actually losing it in travels. He packed some of his other rings to accompany him to Japan instead and left his favorite ring to wait for him on his nightstand as usual.

What he didn’t expect to return to, was a woman sitting comfortably in the middle of his bed as though she lived there. He wasn’t sure how exactly she got in either since he locks his room every time they leave, but he sure as hell wasn’t going to stick around to ask her.

Instead, he rushed to get Chan, explaining that somehow a sasaeng must have gotten in and was currently sitting in his room. When they returned with a manager that lived in the building, the woman was gone. The only thing that was different was his favorite ring sitting in the center of his bed rather than the nightstand.

🎃

The other members were still convinced it had been a sasaeng, and she must’ve snuck out somehow. When Jisung brought up the fact that nothing was missing and the only thing that had moved was his ring, they claimed she was likely planning on taking it since Stays knew it was his favorite. He was commonly seen wearing it in selfies and livestreams, so it wouldn’t be that far fetched of an explanation.

Jisung was not convinced. He wasn’t unaware of his quick attachment to the ring. And he knows that he never forgets to put it on his nightstand at night. The newest incident was just the cherry on top.

But what kind of ghost possesses a ring? A house, sure. A mirror, believable. A doll, seen thousands of times. But a ring? Jisung needed to know why, and why it… she chose him.

🎃

He didn’t have to wait long. The next night he woke from a rather peaceful sleep to the sounds of shuffling around his room. When he peeked his eyes open, the same woman was rifling through his drawers.

“Um… hello?” He whispered out, scared to disturb the quiet atmosphere of his room and not wanting to wake his other members. “Are– Do you live inside my ring?” He asked, but he got his answer when he noticed his ring was once again missing from its place.

“Well, technically it’s my ring, but you bought it so… yes.” She responded, putting the clothes she was holding back in the drawer and closing it.

“What are you looking for?” He decided to ask first, too nervous to ask the other questions on his mind yet. She shrugged and moved closer to his half-sitting, half-lying figure. “Why are you in the ring?” He tried asking next.

“Like I said… It's my ring.” He thought she was going to stop there but then her features softened, and she spoke up again. “It was my fiancé’s ring… but he passed away before we could marry. We believed in reincarnation, and I wanted to see him in his next life, so here I am.” Jisung felt his heart break at the story, though not yet outweighing the anxiety of having a supernatural being in his room.

“So… why me? You’re the reason I noticed the ring in that shop I assume… and the reason I’m so attached.” The woman smiled slightly, but shook her head.

“I can’t make you do anything. It’s all on your own volition. Jisung, is it?” She waited for confirmation, and when he nodded, she continued. “Jisung, do you recognize me at all?” He studied her features for a moment.

“You were in my room the other day when we all got back from Japan.” He said, not knowing any other answer to give. She snorted a bit, before it settled into a smirk.

“I’ve manifested this form more than just that time. But do you recognize me?” She asked again; and again, Jisung analyzed her, trying to pick up on any familiarities. Eventually, he shook his head, and it seemed like the woman’s face fell slightly. He wanted to ask her about it, but decided he might not be ready for whatever answer she gave.

“So, can you feel and see when you’re inside the ring too, or only in this form?” He decided to ask instead. The woman seemed to consider his question. Her face lit up in amusement, and Jisung assumed she was remembering something.

“The short answer is yes, I can sort of feel things when I’m inside the ring.”

“And the long answer?” Curious, he couldn’t help but ask. Her lips twitched with a humored smirk.

“The long answer… Maybe don’t masturbate with the ring on, Ji.” His face flushed with embarrassment and he moved to hide underneath his covers. “Trust me, you have nothing to be embarrassed about that for.” She teased and he felt like his entire body lit on fire all at once.

#stray kids #skz #han jisung #reader #han jisung x reader #stray kids x reader #skz x reader #fluff #possession au #ghost au #oneshot #fictober

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nkotbblockparty · 1 year

Photo

Throwback to one of my favorite tours - The Total Package Tour! Every guy had a solo at one point, they did songs off of just about every album, and it was just a blast overall! 🎶❤️

#NKOTB #New Kids On The Block #Danny Wood #Jordan Knight #Donnie Wahlberg #Joey McIntyre #Jonathan Knight #Total Package Tour #Total Package Tour 2017 #Tour Season #Concerts #Throwback Thursday #TBT #Favorite Band #Favorite Group #Spread Love #BH Love

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absolutebl · 1 year

Text

In Strongberry We Trust

I had a private ask about Strongberry recently so here’s some thoughts.

Strongberry is probably the most established KBL studio, they started in high production shorts/microfilms (as, indeed, did all of KBL) and still specialize in them. They also do some GL. They tend to have very good chemistry, work with professional actors (not idols), and will go high heat. They are now a division of Matchbox, and have been around and steadily producing content since 2017. The CEO is adorable.

For YEARS Strongberry was the only studio reliably producing BL content out of Korea. And, sometimes the kisses were even good! For real... there was a time, not so long ago, when all we really got was KBL shorts and most of those from Strongberry. Dark days. Except for Strongberry shining one bright light of BL content. They are reliable, HEA, and high quality.

Hence the fandom slogan...

#In Strongberry We Trust

They often pick odd (or underserved) premises but always execute beautifully. Their stuff is either on YouTube, Gaga, or pay to play on Vimeo, and they do move it around so my links might not always still be working. Vimeo earns them the most money. They are a small, struggling, queer-friendly studio, please support them and their content by not pirating or watching illegally.

Here's my ranking of Strongberry's offerings.

1. A First Love Story

2021 YouTube short in 2 microfilms

Tropes: childhood friends to lovers, home setting, soft tone, grumpy/sunshine pairing

Strongberry are true masters of their craft and yet A First Love Story is still one of the best things they have ever produced. It’s the only microfilm every to make one of my year end top ten list. It’s two episodes of about 8 minutes each that manage to perfectly portray the sweetest friends-to-lovers confession ever. It’s joyful, and gentle with its characters, and a little hot. How on earth do they manage to leave us yearning for more yet completely satisfied at the same time? It’s like the perfect amuse-bouche, that one finger food at that one cocktail party that you will never forget. You are a ridiculous human if you haven’t spent 16 minutes with these two boys. Go watch it now. Or go watch it again. It’s time VERY well spent.

2. Long Time No See

2017 Gaga KBL length series (total 1.5 hr, some places packaged as a movie)

Tropes: secret love, enemies to lovers, secret identity, assassins, catfishing, mafia, higher heat, grumpy/sunshine pairing

One of Strongberry’s few longer pieces and I often wonder whether this is strictly BL. It’s about assassins on either side of a terf war who fall in love not knowing they are on opposite sides. Or do they? Good fight sequences, mature characters, high heat, very suspenseful, AND an HEA. If you like KinnPorsche you will LOVE this one.

3. Some More

2018 Gaga microfilm

Tropes: friends to lovers, hyung romance, self acceptance, countryside setting, soft tone, age gap, country boy/city boy

One of my most favorite of Strongberry’s shorts, about a city boy on a bike tour who gets injured and rescued by a taciturn, but (as it turns out) very gay, farmer. Mentions of pride, adorable supportive cousin. SO CUTE with excellent chemistry and featuring tropes I can never get enough of.

3. Private Lessons

2019 Gaga microfilm

Tropes: student/teacher, jock/nerd, hyung romance, obsession, crush, university setting, May/December, age gap

Given it is age gap and teacher/student (AKA P’ABL’s catnip) it should rate higher on my list, but the chemistry is slightly off. Stil I do love this one for the dynamic. Certainly worth watching especially if this is one of your fav yaoi tropes.

4. Step For You

2018 Gaga microfilm

Tropes: friends to lovers, sports, university setting, crush, jock/nerd, soft tone

About a reporter from the student newspaper who has to interview an older dancer and falls in love with him. This may not have been my first Strongberry, but it’s the first one I remember watching.

5. Please Tell Me So

2021 YouTube microfilm (AKA That's My Mr.Right!)

Tropes: crush, obsession, cafe setting, sunshine/sunshine pairing

Cute barista (played by Han Hyun Jun star of Love Class) has a crush on his customer, musters up the courage to ask him out.

6. My Pistachio

2018 Gaga microfilm

Tropes: friends to lovers, crush, hero worship, hyung romance, university setting, play within a play, grumpy/sunshine

7. As if You Whisper

2019 Gaga movie

Tropes: friends to lovers, self acceptance, music industry setting, grumpy/sunshine pairing

8. Confidential Coffee Break

2021 Vimeo microfilm

Tropes: mature romance, long term relationship, self acceptance, university setting, one act

It’s a monologue piece about two closeted older gay professors discussing changing times and the nature of acceptance (self and others) in modern day South Korean academic environment.

9. Hold Me

2021 YouTube microfilm

Tropes: friends to lovers, self acceptance, high school setting

10. Sweet Curse

2021 Gaga short

Tropes: horror, paranormal elements, ghost story, possession, obsession, gay friendship group, everyone wants that one boy, bad/good

This is a low-gore atmospheric horror, with some very high heat. I’m not saying it’s in the top 10 just because of that, but I am saying when Strongberry does high heat it v good and v gay.

OTHERS

My Personal Trainer - 2019 short Gaga. It v silly and v gay. Influencer has crush on his personal trainer.

Secret Roommate - 2020 short Gaga, Cohabit, self acceptance, home setting, family, coming out

Fingers After - 2021 microfilm Vimeo. Cohabit, morning after, home setting, pining, sunshine/tsundere pairing.

Secret Spectacles - 2017 microfilm Gaga. Very silly again, friends to lovers, paranormal elements, university crush.

Table Manner - 2018 microfilm Gaga. Cohabit, self acceptance, home setting, long term relationship

The Summer Pasta Recipe - 2021 short YouTube, reunion, self acceptance, grumpy/sunshine.

There my be a few more I don’t know about, MDL doesn't seem to have a sort function for production company.

NEW!

Choco Milk Shake

2022 YouTube KBL length series (total 1.5 hr)

Tropes: cohabit, F2L, paranormal elements, home setting, soft tones, sunshine/tsundere.

Two pets, a cat and a dog, reincarnate as humans to visit their old owner. Stongberry gave us a full length BL on YouTube! It’s a BL miracle and an endless delight. It was wonderfully cute, unexpectedly hilarious but expectedly silly, a little too poignant, occasionally gut wrenching and with a somewhat expected weird (but happy-ish) ending. The actors playing the two pets must have had the best time. As, indeed, did I watching it. Jealous Milk made me cackle so hard it scared the actual cat on my lap. Choco was perfectly cast, and the chemistry was ultimately decent. In Strongberry I still trust. Thank you thank you, may we have another, sirs?

Two Other KBL shorts worth checking out:

Just Friends?

2009 Gaga short

I consider this one of Korea’s first actual BLs. Boyfriends, one of whom is on military leave, trying to decide on coming out and their future together. Bonus for out gay director and queer activist.

Being Me

2018 short Gaga

A summer of love for two long term besties who have basically always been boyfriends, but when a girl tries to date one of them, they finally realize it. Beautifully filmed and a STELLAR ending kiss.

(source)

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octuscle · 6 months

Note

Uhm chronivac support?

I have a bit of a personal request. You see, I love body hair and facial hair. i L O V E it. But i am at a bit of an impasse. I have not a whole lot of body hair and I can't really grow anything on my face that isn't patchy.

Most preset I see only gives 5 o'clock shadow so I wondered if they're were any presets or package I could use to make sure I grow hairy and have a luxurious beard and a nice stache?

I want to be beastly, bearish. I want to be able to stay warm withou any shirts on. I want to be so hairy that I need to comb my fur.

The first thing you notice in the morning when you brush your teeth is your hair under your armpits. You had trimmed them a few days ago… And now there is a bush again. Shit, you're already late anyway, the first lecture starts in 20 minutes, you'll take care of that later.

During the lecture you are totally unfocused. What do you care about European history… You are interested in your dick. It is permanently hard. Shit, you mumble an apology and disappear to the toilet. You've never jerked off on campus. But once is the first time. As you open your pants, you smell a waft of sweat and musk. Your cock is hairy, your balls are hairy, your pubic hair is bushy. It doesn't take you long to cum. And your cum clumps the hair around your cock. You rub your smeared hand on your fine rib undershirt. Fuck, didn't you have a normal t-shirt on today? No, you always wear wifebeater. You open the second button of your button-down oxford shirt, so that your undershirt is visible. There are a few hairs curling on your chest.

With effort you have struggled through the morning. Now you're hungry. A ravenous appetite. But not for the vegan organic crap from the cafeteria. You get into your Prius and drive to a diner. It smells like barbecue and frying fat. Yes, that's what you're hungry for now. A huge portion of spare ribs and fries. And a large Coke. With sugar. No diet crap. As the waitress serves the portion, you can already see that the meal is going to be a mess. The sauce looks delicious. And there's plenty of it. To be on the safe side, you take off your shirt and hang it over the back of the chair. Most of the other guests seem to be long-distance drivers, they don't care. The waitress doesn't either. After the third portion is served, she even pats you on the head and says she loves a big lad with a good appetite. The patting feels strange. You run your sauce-smeared hand first over your stained undershirt and then over your head. "Wayul, it gist feels lahk whut uh bald head feels lahk," you mumble to yourself as the food rests hang in your beard.

The third serving is also your last. Fuck, now you're finally full. Your belly is bulging out between the waistband of your jeans and your wifebeater. You tuck your hairy belly and let out a mega burp. Yelling, laughing, applause in the diner. You laugh too. In a booming bass. You also have to fart. But you go to the bathroom to do it. You also have to piss before you have to go back on the road. You wash out your sauce-smeared undershirt briefly in the sink and hang it on your belt. It dries in the breeze afterwards.

Back at your seat, there's a college boy. Clean-shaven with a freshly ironed shirt. Wimp! You tell him he's sitting in your chair. He looks up at you.

The arrogant snob says that maybe it used to be your chair and if your seat wasn't on some combine. You bend down to him, pull your jeans vest off the back of his chair and maybe you wouldn't have had to press your armpit on his face. But you're just a dumb, clumsy trucker, not a cool college boy. You bend down to him again after you have put on the vest, burp in his face and mumble an "'Scuse may, mister".

You say goodbye to Maggie with a kiss on the cheek. She is your favorite waitress. It's always nice when a tour brings you here. But now you have to go. Your 36-ton baby has to get to Austin today.

Best bears always @once-a-cub

#male tf #reality change #chronivac #male transformation #age progression #bear tf

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xxfanfiction-emo-trinityxx · 2 years

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A Few Very Compelling Arguments - Frank Iero x Reader

Summary: You are new in the band and Frank can’t seem to stand you. After getting hurt by him on stage you decide to quit the band, something Frank is not at all happy about. Reader: fem!Reader Warnings: mentions of mental illness, hints at suicide(?), blood, jealousy, Frank is an asshole in the first half Word Count: 7 702 (don’t ask me what happened there, I don’t know either) A/N: I’ve wanted to write some enemies to lovers with Frank since I read this story by @ghoulgirlwrites a few weeks back. I hope it’s not too similar. Anyways this story sent me on a total enemies to lovers thing, and now you guys have to live with that. Also I take no criticism for writing Frank this vulnerably. We all know he’s sensible, and I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t be afraid to be vulnerable in the presence of the people he loves and trusts.

You weren‘t sure when things had started to change, but you knew you didn’t like it. You had not been in My Chemical Romance for long, a little less than a year. You were a friend of Ray’s, all the way back from his time in college, even though you were several years younger than him. After he had asked you to join the band on tour as their drummer one thing had led to another, and suddenly you had become the fifth member of the band. Then things had been fine, as fine as things could be when you were stuck in a van a majority of the day with a bunch of guys who had yet to discover the concept of taking showers. It was only at the start of this tour, right after the release of Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge that Frank had started to change. He had always been very sweet to you before then, polite, friendly. Sure he was somewhat energetic on stage, but off stage he had been nothing but a sweetheart, something that definitely had gotten more to you than it should have.

It started off slow, the poking, the pranks, the nicknames. You knew he loved sneaking bites of other people’s food, or just put on whatever shirt he found on top of the clean laundry basket, no matter who it belonged to. You would not have minded this at all, if it had not always been your plate he stole fries from, or your favourite band shirt he picked to wear on stage.

That had been the beginning of it all. He had stopped after you had gotten pissed at him for staining your only white shirt with coffee one morning, and almost you had allowed yourself to believed things would calm down again. Sure you were angry that he had ruined your shirt, which he had had no reason for wearing other than being too lazy to search for his own. And that he had bought you a new package of your favourite cookies after having finished the last one without telling you had almost soothed the waves of your grudge against his impulsiveness.

But then he began throwing shit at your drums. At first just empty water bottles, which were really harmless. You even laughed at that, feeling like he was trying to include you more on stage. The roll of gaffer tape he had thrown was not quite as funny, nor was the full water bottle, Mikey’s shoe, and his mic stand; especially because the last one had ruined one of your drums, leaving you to improvise for the rest of the show.

You had been righteously furious after that.

That had been the evening you had realised something between Frank and you had truly changed. When you had talked to him about stealing your food and clothes, he had nodded and apologized for overstepping. That night, he had shrugged you off, saying he’d pay for it and there was no reason to react as upset as you did. This comment got him not only protest from you, but also from Ray, who had had the misfortune of overhearing that conversation.

Since then things had completely gotten out of control.

Frank snapped at you every opportunity he had, watched you like a hawk as if he was waiting for you to make a mistake he could get you for. He did not necessarily insult you. He just made it abundantly clear that he considered you unfit for the job of MCR’s drummer.

You knew they had not meant for you to overhead that snippet of conversation, but one time you had even heard Frank complain to Gerard about you, how you distracted everyone, how you would make it impossible to enjoy this tour for everyone.

You had quickly plucked in your headphones in order to not overhear more than that, but these few words had been enough to drive you towards the brink of a crisis. Wasn’t it bad enough that you had to share the very limited tour bus space with someone who actively seemed to hate you? He also tried to involve others in this strange feud he had started and was scheming against you!

After that incident you did not try to hide your annoyance at him anymore. If he already had to tell Gerard, Gerard might as well see for himself. Maybe that would speed up the inevitable process of them kicking you out of the band. Nobody had brought it up to your face yet, but you were sure Frank had suggested it to the others already. You didn’t want to leave the band, but with the way Frank was treating you, it was not hard to guess that this was his goal, to get you kicked out of the band.

Whatever you had done to make him hate you this much, it was something nobody was willing to talk to you about. Had you said or done something wrong? Was it your behaviour towards your band members? You were sure you had treated them just like any other friends, and of course you were closest to Ray, since you knew him the longest. But even though you were not aware of anything that could have upset Frank this much, especially since the others seemed to have no problem with you whatsoever, you would still have been willing to make up for it. If you only knew what the problem was!

You had tried talking to Frank, who had always brushed you off with a mean comment about you not caring anyway. And if you tried talking to the others, they always said it was not their place to tell you, and you needed to talk to Frank. At your response that you had tried, but he wouldn't tell you anything, they had just shrugged, and told you they couldn’t help you.

And this was how tour had started. For two months Frank and you had done nothing but glaring at each other. He shot hurtful comments your way, and whenever you were too tired or annoyed to hold back, you returned them. The tension this created was undeniable, but to your surprise the others just laughed it off, even having fun watching Frank and you bicker.

The worst thing of all though was probably how much ever single comment from Frank hurt. Not because of the comment itself, but because of him. You had not known him for very long, but you spent enough time together to have gotten to know him quite well. You saw the way he treated his friends, caring, loving, mischievous of course, yes, but never leaving a sliver of doubt that all his actions towards them were laced with nothing but deep, honest love for them.

A part of you hated yourself for loving watching him play music, no matter whether he was writing it, rehearsing or playing shows. At shows he was as energetic as you had never seen anyone in their life before, writhing around on stage, singing, screaming, and still flawlessly playing his guitar. He threw stuff at you occasionally, but this tour it did not seem quite as bad as the previous one.

During rehearsals he was absolutely focused, only rarely loosing himself in the music as much as he did on stage. But your favourite times to watch him were when he was writing music. Most often it was during long bus rides, when Gerard and Mikey would read comics, and you one of the novels off your ‘to be read’-pile. Ray and Frank would grab their guitars, and sit down, playing the same melodies in variations for hours upon hours until they had found something they both were content with. Then you would take glances over the rim of your book, just watching Frank, as he was sitting on one of the sofas, his fingers skipping over the fret board, his eyes closed. He was so focused then, and still half lost in the melody, in the music he and Ray were creating. Those moments were so soft, so intimate. It felt forbidden to watch him then, and still you could not tear your eyes away. You just hoped he would never find out about it.

He, on the other hand, was unashamed whenever he stared at you. It was during meals, when you sat on opposite ends of the table, as many of your friends between you as possible to stop you from getting into another heated argument. He would watch you closely then, his eyes following your every movement, never caring if you were staring back at him challengingly.

It was worse on stage. Moments in which he should have payed attention to Ray or Gerard, he glanced at you, even when there was no need to. Of course there were the few parts of the show where the two of you needed to work together, coordinate with each other, and those were never a problem, because as much as you hated him, you were still professional enough to not let it show. But the moments where he made sure you were looking at him right before doing something stupid-

It drove you up the walls, the constant feeling of his eyes on you, until you would eventually give in and meet his across the stage.

This night was no different. Or well, maybe it was. It was more of Frank’s snarky, hurtful comments before the show, more than usual. More of relentlessly watching you during it.

You knew Frank was not in the best space of mind recently. Just like the Way brothers he struggled with mental health, and just because you could not stand seeing his pretty face around you, and felt like getting sick the moment you thought about him because of your contrasting feelings for him, you still were observant. Maybe it was about keeping the team together, you wondered, as you felt sweat running down your face, your arms, your back. In order to keep doing the shows everyone needed to be in top shape, and whenever someone wasn’t, the others did their best to take care of them.

It was difficult with Frank though. He would insist to be left alone, and wouldn't come out of his bunk for anything other than a small breakfast in the morning, a toilet break or playing shows. It had been like this for the past three days, and slowly but surely you began worrying about him.

He looked pale underneath his make-up, dark circles under his eyes which he covered up with red eyeshadow. If he hadn’t screamed at you that one time you had tried to ask if there was something you could do for him, you might have tried to get him to open up a little. You hated to see him suffer just as much as you hated him. But then again, maybe you didn’t hate him quite as much as you always made yourself believe.

The thought was unsettling, and at the realisation you almost would have lost the rhythm you were still playing. You definitely had crushed on Frank before things had gotten weird. And you knew you cared about him, even if you did not want to admit it to yourself. So was the idea that you did not hate him at all so far off?

Just in that moment you felt his eyes on you. Not to coordinate the music, but staring at you. For a moment you tried to resist looking back at him, but it was impossible.

He was close to your drums, black crosses over his eyes, the red eyeshadow masking how sunken in his face was. As if he hadn’t eaten and slept for days. You had a feeling he really hadn’t.

For a moment he was holding your gaze, and then, with three big steps, he strode over to Gerard, who was prancing around on stage as always. It happened so fast you were not even sure what you had seen, when Frank let go of his guitar, and grabbed Gerard’s face while he was still in the middle of singing, only to kiss his passionately.

You could tell Gerard was surprised, suddenly having been cut off by a kiss from one of his guitarists, but he reacted smoothly, wrapping his arm around Frank’s neck and kissing back for a short moment, before he pushed Frank off, and continuing to sing as if nothing had happened.

Quickly you averted your gaze, feeling like you had witnessed something you were not supposed to. Of course you knew of the rumours that Frank and Gerard were dating. It was nothing more than that, a rumour, as far as you knew, but maybe you did not know everything.

It was clear Frank had wanted you to see that kiss. Was this maybe the reason he hated you so much? Because you and Gerard had become close friends, and he thought you were trying to steal Gerard away from him? Nothing could have been further from the truth. You liked Gerard, but only as a friend. You were far too confused about your feelings for Frank to even think about liking anyone else.

Still, you felt like that kiss had meant to show you who Gerard belonged with. But what did you care? Frank could have Gerard all for himself, if this was what his weird behaviour was about. It just stung a little too much, the idea that Frank had never seen you as anything but a rival for Gerard’s affection. Secretly you had wanted his glances and stares to mean more than pure hatred.

That’s how the rest of the show went by. You tried focusing on your drumming, but were continuously distracted by thoughts about Frank, about how maybe you had liked him the whole time, more than liked even. About how he seemed to hate you because you were close to Gerard. About how unreasonably disappointed you were that he had probably never had any positive feelings for you at all.

You were glad when the encore finally was over. Your head hurt from all the intrusive thoughts, the picture of Frank kissing Gerard had burnt itself deeper into your mind than you wanted to admit, you were bathed in sweat and your whole body was aching. You had been so tense during the set that you would probably have a whole body muscle ache tomorrow.

You slammed your sticks down on the drums for the last few times that night, letting the applause of the audience wash over you as the last chords of the nights echoed back from the venue’s walls. Gerard was waving at crowd, Mikey already on his way off stage, and Ray threw the left over picks into the audience. You were about to do the same with your drum sticks, when your eyes involuntarily found Frank. He was standing not too far off from your drums, but instead of having turned to the crowd, he had turned to you.

Too late did you notice the motion he had executed with his right hand, too late did you see the blinking thing he had thrown through the air right at you. If you had not been mid motion of throwing your sticks into the audience, you could have evaded whatever he had launched at you, but now you were to slow, the metallic object hitting the side of your forehead hard, and you could not suppress the pained gasp.

Surprised you clasped your hand over the part where you had been hit, immediately searching for what had hit you. It was Frank’s capo. It had clattered to the ground after having it you. Annoyed you picked it up, and threw it back at Frank, not noticing the guilty and apologetic expression he was wearing. The capo hit him mid-chest, and surprised he caught it, as you stared daggers at him from behind your drums. Quickly, as quickly as you could, you climbed out from behind them, and headed off stage.

“Oh, (y/n), you’re bleeding,” Mikey noticed as you tried storming past him to get to the backstage room as quickly as possible.

You were done with tonight. Not only because of all these thoughts that had plagued you, or Frank kissing Gerard. No, this was the first time Frank had actually injured you, and that was the last drop. You couldn’t do this anymore. Frank had made it so very clear he didn’t want you in the band, he could finally have what he wanted. Tomorrow morning you would tell Gerard you quit. Tomorrow, not today, so nobody could say you were being too emotional about it. If they asked you really, really nicely, and promised to keep Frank in check, you would finish this tour with them until they had a new drummer to replace you. But you wanted out. Now.

A warm hand around your wrist dragged you out of your thoughts, and Mikey was looking down on you worriedly.

“What happened there,” he asked, gesturing to your head.

“What,” you asked, bringing your hand up to where Frank had hit you with the capo. When you pulled your hand away, your fingers were coated in blood. “Oh shit.”

Quickly you looked around, trying to find a mirror, but the closest one was probably down the hallway in the bathrooms.

“Is it bad,” you asked.

Mikey leant in closer, taking a good look.

“Nope, don’t think so. Small cut, about this long.” He held his hand out, showing you with his index finger and thumb how long the cut was. Not more than three milimeters.

It seemed there had been a sharp edge on the capo.

“Shit, (y/n), I’m so sorry-”

The voice belonged to no other than Frank, who had followed you off stage. When you spun around to face him, and he saw the thin line of blood running down the side of your face, his eyes grew wide.

“Oh fuck-”

“Sorry doesn’t cut it, asshole,” you hissed at him, feeling your blood boil at the sight of him. Had you really thought you liked him? What the hell had been wrong with you? “This was the last time, the last time you threw anything at me, you understand?”

“I didn’t mean to hit you, I was aiming for the- it’s not gonna happen again, I promise,” Frank rushed out. Something about him now was so very different than you remembered him from the past months. He looked genuinely sorry and concerned. But you couldn’t be bothered, not anymore.

“No it’s not, because I won’t be on stage with you anymore for you to throw shit at me!”

You had not meant to say that, but it felt good, to see the shock on Frank’s face, to feel Mikey’s surprise.

“(y/n), you’re not-”

“Yes, I am Mikey! I am quitting! So you-” you pocked your finger into Frank’s direction, “are finally getting what you’ve wanted all this time. Happy now?”

And with that you stormed off.

You did not bother to go to the backstage room, as you had planned, and you did not wait as you heard both Frank and Mikey calling for you to wait. You headed straight out of the backdoor, past the tour bus that was supposed to drop everyone off at the hotel. You could not wait long enough for everyone to make it there, and you could not face Frank.

By now him and Mikey had probably found Gerard and Ray, and told them what had happened; that you had quit.

Shit. That was exactly what you had wanted to avoid, coming across as impulsive and emotional. Frank was supposed to be the impulsive and emotional one, not you. But fuck, you were emotional! There was still blood running down the side of your face, and the headache you had already felt before increased its intensity with every minute. You needed to get away from here, as fast as possible.

Not caring about security or fans being able to see you, you hasted towards the street, already seeing multiple cabs lined up, waiting to find concert goers who were ready to pay for a ride home. Climbing into the first cab in the line, you named the address of the hotel the band had booked rooms at. In the hotel the staff gave you concerned looks, considering how you looked, and even offered to call a doctor, but you insisted you would be fine with a plaster and the keys to one of the booked rooms.

Just as always during hotel nights, it was a double room. A queen sized bed took up the majority of the room, leaving little space for anything but a narrow wardrobe and two bedside tables. You wondered who they would pair up with you tonight. Probably not Gerard, Frank would insist they share a room. Maybe Mikey then, or Ray. You hoped it was Ray. He still knew you the best, and would understand why you could not stay in the band any longer.

Only once you entered the bathroom, you realised you had basically left everything but your wallet at the tour bus, your whole overnight bag with shampoo, towels and pyjama. Luckily the hotel had a shampoo dispenser, towels and some bathrobes prepared for their guests, so you quickly grabbed one, and locked the bathroom door behind you.

The first thing you did was inspect the cut on your forehead. It really was tiny, but the amount of blood had made it look way worse than it was. Now the bleeding had stopped, and the blood dried. Carefully you washed it off, and in the end there was hardly anything to see but a small scratch.

While you were in the shower, rinsing off the sweat of the show, you heard someone entering the hotel room. Over the rushing of water it was impossible to tell who it was, but you definitely heard the door to the room open and then close.

After that you tried to hurry. It wouldn't have been fair to Ray to make him wait too long for his shower. He probably hadn’t taken one at the venue yet. Drying yourself off, you threw on the bathrobe, hoping Ray had either brought your night bag.

“Hey Ray,” you called, as you unlocked the door, your dirty clothes thrown over your arm, and stepped into the room, “you didn’t happen to bring my-”

You froze as you saw that it was not Ray who was sitting on the bed, waiting for you to finish in the bathroom.

It was Frank. He seemed to have washed off the make-up at the venue, because only faint traces of colour stuck to his face now.

“Sorry,” he mumbled as he got up. “The others said we should pair up.”

For a long moment you stared at him. You wanted to say something along the lines of never sharing a bed with him, but you knew that he would then insist of sleeping on the floor, and another part of you, the one that had come up with the stupid idea of you maybe liking him, would never have allowed that.

“I packed your bag,” Frank added, nodding to the bag he had placed on the window side of the bed. How had he known you preferred the window side? Or was it just a coincidence?

You nodded, not bothering with an answer.

“Can I- is the bathroom free,” Frank asked carefully. You knew he was watching you, but you refused to look at him, just nodded.

As you were going through your night bag, trying to find a shirt and a pair of shorts, you heard as Frank grabbed his own bag, and headed for the bathroom.

“What you said about leaving the band-”

You guessed he had stopped in the door, but you didn’t turn around.

“I don’t want you to leave. Never wanted that. Can you- I don’t know, can you think about it again? I know we all would-”

“Luckily I don’t care about what you – or the others – want. Not anymore anyway,” you hissed at him, and for the first time that night you felt your throat close up as tears burnt in your eyes.

There was shuffling behind you, and almost you would have expected Frank to say more on the matter but then the bathroom door closed.

Wiping away the tears with the back of your hand, you began looking through your bag again. The idea that Frank had been the one to have packed it, that he had gone through your stuff, made you feel uncomfortable, but at the same time tucked at your heart.

There was a pair of shorts, but the only t-shirt you found was not your own. In fact you were pretty certain it was one of Frank’s. Maybe he had packed it by accident. What other explanation could be there for it? In the end it did not matter though. Shirt was shirt, whether it was his or yours, so you threw it on, and tied the bathrobe closed over it, so Frank wouldn't give you shit for wearing one of his shirts.

In the bathroom the water was still running when you went to bed, cuddled underneath one of the thick blankets. You were grateful there were separate blankets. The idea to share one with Frank was sickening. Speaking of sickening, you still had that headache. While you had been in the shower, it had gotten better, but now it came back worse than before.

After a while you decided you were not going to be the hero who suffered through it, and got up again. Somewhere in your bag you still had some painkillers…

Once more going through your bag, you subconsciously registered that in the bathroom the water had stopped running, and instead suspicious silence spread out from behind the door. No ruffling of towels, no clicking of shampoo bottle lids, not padding of naked feet on tiled floor.

Holding your movement, you listened. Only silence.

With a shrug you grabbed one of the painkillers from the small bottle, and downed it together with the contents of a small water bottle you had kept in your bag. Definitely needed to replace that one tomorrow with a full one, you mentally noted.

That was when you heard it.

Again you halted, not sure if you had imagined the sound, but a second later it was clearer than before. That was definitely someone crying, sobbing even. Quietly, trying to muffle the sound, but the nightly environment was too quiet to hide it. And it came from the bathroom.

Before you even had thought about it, you were banging against the door. You had heard about how badly Gerard had been, you’d be damned if My Chem lost one of their guitarists just because you couldn’t be bothered to try to talk to him. The idea of Frank doing something really stupid to himself wasn’t farfetched, considering the state he had been over the past days.

“Frank? Frank! What’s going on in there? Open the door!”

Again you banged at it, before listening for a response, but all you got was another sob.

“Frank! Are you okay? Let me in!”

Nothing but more sobs.

Your heart was racing in your throat, and your knees weak. You were probably the last person Frank would really talk to, but you didn’t dare leave the room to get help from the others. So instead you pressed down the door handle experimentally, and like a miracle it swung open.

“I don’t care if you’re naked, I’m coming in,” you warned before you pushed the door fully open and stepped inside.

The air of the bathroom was wet and smelled of Frank’s shower gel. The man himself was sitting in front of the sink, back leant against the wall, and luckily dressed in some shorts and an oversized t-shirt. He had his knees pulled up to his chest, his face buried between them, hands and arms pulled over his head as if to protect himself from the outside world.

As quickly as you could you ran over to him, and fell to your knees besides him.

“Frank,” you asked worriedly, carefully trying to pry away one of his arms. “Frank, are you hurt?”

Another sob, muffled between his knees, escaped him, before he unwrapped himself, and instead leant his head against your shoulder, burying his face in the fabric of the bathrobe. Instinctively you brought your arms around him, and wrapped him in an awkward hug.

“I don’t want you to leave,” he cried. The air he exhaled was hot, traveling through the layers of fabric until it brushed over your skin. “I know it’s my fault, and it’s all on me, but I don’t know how to fix this. I tried to fix it. But I’ve just made it so much worse. I don’t want you to leave. I don’t want to lose you.”

Confused you blinked, trying to understand what he was talking about.

“Well, you’re not gonna stop me from leaving,” you told him, fully aware that this was probably exactly the wrong thing to say. But lying to him wouldn’t help him either.

You felt a shiver go through him, and he sobbed again, probably smearing snot all over your bathrobe. Well, not really yours, the hotels. So this should be the least of your worries right now.

“I know. I’m not trying to stop you. I know I fucked up. I tried to fix it, tried to make it work so hard, and all I did was fuck it up. I’m so sorry for ruining this for you,” he whimpered between heavy breaths.

“At which point did you try to fix shit, Frank, hm? When you told Gerard I was a distraction, or when you kept calling me weird names even though you knew I didn’t like it? Or when you kept staring at me as if I’d grow a second head any second? When have you ever tried fixing things? Do you think throwing shit at me would make anything any better? Fuck, Frank, you couldn’t even be bothered to pretend you didn’t hate me as much as you do, just to make it less weird for the others! You didn’t try fixing shit!”

Frank nodded, his hands gripping into the bathrobe, still hiding his face. You could feel how warm his body was, from showering, from crying- he was like a furnace. His shower-wet hair stuck to his head.

“And you can’t expect me to take it any longer, you know? All I’ve been getting from you for months were off handed comments that made me feel like shit, and stuff thrown at me on stage! Fuck, you threw a capo at my head, Frank!”

“I didn’t mean to hit you,” he cried.

“Doesn’t change the fact that you did!”

You couldn’t help but wonder what a strange position you found yourselves in. You were shouting at him while he had buried his face in your shoulder, and was crying his eyes out, all while you soothingly rubbed circles into his back.

After a moment of silence, Frank took a shuddering breath.

“I never hated you,” he mumbled, his voice shaky but clear, as if he was putting lots of thought and effort into every word. “I know it seemed that way, but I never did. The opposite really. When you leave that’s the only thing I need you to know: That I’ve always admired you, and that I wish I could’ve done things right, so we could’ve played with this band ‘till the day we die.”

“Some things just aren’t meant to be,” you answered softly, patting his head, making him sob again.

“I just wish I could go back in time and do it right, you know. Do it right from the very first moment on. Just be honest with you, and hope things work out from there.”

“You could still be honest now,” you offered.

Curiosity was eating away at you. Could you finally find out why Frank had treated you the way he had? Why he had never let you get close, why he had not left his bunk in the past days?

“It wouldn’t make a difference anymore,” Frank mumbled, but he seemed calmer now, as if the idea of telling the truth might offer some relief.

“Maybe that’s a good thing,” you suggested, running your hand through his wet locks. They were soft like silk. When he did not speak for a moment, you added: “What’s going on these past days? You barely got out of bed.”

“Wasn’t feeling good,” Frank mumbled. You could feel him slightly lean into your touch as you ran your nails over his scalp, so you continued the simple action.

“I thought so much. What wasn’t feeling good exactly?”

“Think I knew this was coming to an end,” he admitted. “That I’ve gone too far, and you’d want to leave, and that nothing I could do would stop you, and that everything I had tried to keep you to stay up until that point had only driven you away.”

You hummed, signalling him you had heard, waiting if he wanted to say more, but when he didn’t, you asked another question.

“What was that thing about kissing Gerard earlier at the show? You know… if you like him you don’t gotta worry about me, okay? Gee ‘n I are friends, nothing more.”

“I know.”

“Then why that kiss? It felt like… you wanted to demonstrate that Gerard belonged with you…”

“Didn’t,” Frank answered quietly. “Wanted to make you jealous.”

“Why would you want to make me jealous of you?”

“Not me. Gee.”

You blinked. “Gerard? Why would I be jealous of Gerard?”

Frank tensed underneath your hands, but did not answer. If he wanted you to be jealous of Gerard, could it be that- no. No possible way.

You filed that piece of information away with all the other puzzle pieces that did not fit the picture, and continued asking your questions. It seemed, for the first time since you had met Frank that he was willing to open up to you, at least to a certain degree. You had to make use of that opportunity.

“In the beginning – the first few weeks – we were fine, remember? What changed?”

Frank shook his head against your shoulder, making you raise your eyebrows.

“You don’t know?”

“Don’t wanna say,” Frank corrected.

“I thought you wanted to be honest,” you answered, knowing you were poking around in affairs that probably were none of your business, but he had made you suffer for months. You felt like you finally deserved some answers.

“Emotions are complicated,” Frank replied cryptically.

“What emotions?”

For a moment he thought about his answer, then he spoke slowly. “I wanted you to notice me, wanted you to know that I felt comfortable around you, like when I stole your food and your clothes. And when it got obvious you didn’t feel the same… I got frustrated. And jealous. Because you always hang out with Gee ‘nd Ray ‘nd Mikey- and I started doing dumb shit, and – it was easier to drive you away than to admit that I wanted actually the complete opposite of that. Because when I’m honest, I’m vulnerable, and I don’t wanna be hurt.”

“I don’t want to hurt you, Frank,” you whispered, not entirely sure what to make of the things he had just told you. He had wanted you to notice him? He sure had managed that. Why would he have been jealous though?

“What hurts me and what doesn’t isn’t in your power to decide,” Frank mumbled, his words muffled against the bathrobe you wore.

“Frank-” trying to pull him slightly away from you to look at his face, you placed your hands on his shoulders, but he only stiffened under your touch, his hands clawing tighter into your clothes. “Frank, I feel like I still don’t really understand what is going on, what has been going on the whole time. You say you’re jealous, and you don’t really hate me- but it’s pretty obvious you don’t like me either. What is it, you feel? Can you try putting it into words?”

Frank shook his head against your shoulder again.

“Can’t or won’t?”

“’m scared.”

“Of what?”

For a moment he was quiet, before he suddenly sat up with a jolt. His eyes were bloodshot, his lips red-rimmed, and his whole face swollen and flaky from crying. He looked truly pitiful. You wanted to wrap him in your arms again and promise him everything would be alright. It would have been a lie. He had said he didn’t want you to leave the band but your mind was made up. But maybe a white lie, just to make him feel better…

You were still thinking about how much you wanted to help him, when Frank suddenly leant forward, and without warning pressed his lips to yours. They were hot and tasted of his salty tears. Slightly startled you almost lost your balance from the force with which Frank had come at you. Searching for something to hold onto, and desperate not to let go of him, you quickly wrapped your arms around him, holding him close.

At first it was just the surprise of the sudden kiss that made you dizzy, but when Frank opened his mouth, and licked against your lips, you felt like you could faint any moment. Everything around you was spinning; the only solid thing was Frank, as he took over the kiss, and kissed you harder than anyone had ever done before.

You could feel his pulse hammer underneath your hands, could feel his breath fan over your skin, could taste the desperation with which he kissed you. It was both sweet and hungry, the way he pressed closer to you needy and hopeful, as he twisted you so your back was pressed to the cold, tiled wall of the bathroom, with him pinning you against it, as good as your sitting positions allowed him too.

It was only when you seemed to have worked through the first rush of surprise that Frank suddenly pulled away. Confused at the loss of contact you blinked your eyes open, finding his lips were cherry red, and his eyes glowing. It made you want to lurch forward and kiss him again. But before you could, it seemed like dark clouded his face, and the glimmer in his eyes disappeared, the glow he had seemed to emit darkened.

“This is what I’ve wanted the whole time,” he sat back, bringing more distance between you. Agonizing, cold, painful distance. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have kissed you without-”

You cut him off then and there. You didn’t care. Yes, consent was important, but now that you knew he wanted to kiss you, you saw no reason as to why you should stop yourself from doing so.

He gasped when your lips met his again, just as desperate as he had been moments ago, but he kissed back hungrily, and placed his warm hands on your waist as you climbed into his lap. He held you close and steady, as you got lost in his touch. An hour ago you could never have imagined thinking this, but he radiated safety. The way he held you, the way he kissed you, the way his breath brushed over your skin in little gasps, the hammering of your heart at the quiet moans that escaped him. It made you feel like you were on top of the world, everything else around you forgotten, only you and Frank. Who cared about hotel bathrooms and touring and bands and music? Not you, not while you were kissing Frank like you had dreamt of since the first proper conversation you had had with him. The voice, that had tried to remind you of this little fantasy while the rest of you had convinced you that you hated Frank, seemed to dance a little dance of joy in your heart, as you wrapped your hands into Frank’s hair, and pulled him closer and closer.

Only when you were completely out of breath, you eventually pulled away, leaning your forehead to Frank’s shoulder. He used the opportunity to push the collar of the bathrobe away a bit, and placed butterfly kisses on your neck until you were giggling.

“I know I can’t make you stay,” Frank suddenly said, lifting his head. You did too, looking down on him from where you sat in his lap. “I know that if you truly want to leave the band, nothing and nobody can stop you. But when you do… do you think you could stay at least with me? I don’t want to lose you.”

Confused you furrowed your brows at him, tilting your head to ask what he meant.

“Do you think you could give me – us – a second chance. I love you, (y/n), I love your passion and how you never take shit from anyone, how patient you are, how caring, and you’re the most beautiful person I could ever imagine. I love you so fucking much, and I know I probably ruined any chance, but if I haven’t-”

“You haven’t,” you interrupted him.

Frank eyes widened hopefully, and he watched you very closely as he continued. “So if I asked you to be mine- will you be mine?”

“As much as you’ll be mine,” you answered, your heart beating a thousand miles an hour, as Frank laughed in disbelief.

“My heart’s been yours from the first moment on,” he breathed, before pressing his lips to yours again.

But instead of losing yourself in his kiss, you pulled away again.

“Ask me the other thing,” you demanded, making him look at you confused.

“The other-” he stopped, realisation hitting him like a freight train, and he barely managed to get the words out quickly enough. “Please stay in the band, please I beg you. Will you stay in the band?”

You smiled softly, and brushed his hair out of his eyes, before slowly getting up from his lap. Offering him a hand you helped him up. Immediately he placed his hands back at your waist, his eyes searching for an answer to his question in yours.

“Let’s go to bed,” you whispered, “We have a long tour ahead of us, and I don’t wanna miss out on a proper bed.”

“Is that a-”

“Yes. Yes, I’ll stay in the band. If you stop throwing shit at me on stage.”

Gently you pushed Frank down on the bed, and quickly he scrambled to get under the blanket before he opened his arms for you to crawl into. You followed his invitation without hesitation.

“I promise I’ll only throw myself at you from now on,” he whispered, and you could hear the sly grin in his voice, but when you placed your head on his chest, his heart was racing. He was not at all feeling as cool about the situation as he pretended. It made you grin, and you found yourself liking him even more than before.

“Approved, but only under the condition that you take the guitar off before.”

“That can be arranged,” Frank nodded, playing around with the hem of the bathrobe you were still wearing. “Hey, is that one of my shirts?”

Quickly you sat up again, and brushed the bathrobe off, revealing the shirt you had found in your bag, and put on.

“You packed that one for me,” you accused, but when you glanced at Frank, you found he looked at you as if you had hung the stars in the sky.

“You look so good in my clothes,” he whispered, pulling you back down to his chest, and pressed a kiss to the crown of your head.

His arms were tightly wrapped around you, and while he told you more about how he had felt in the months in which you had been fighting, how heartbroken he had been, how helpless, and how much he had loved you the whole time, you listened to his steady heartbeat until you had fallen asleep.

“Of course she was serious, when she said she wanted to leave,” Ray shook his head, pouring milk into his cereal. “Frank’s been harassing her for months. I’m surprised she didn’t quit sooner.”

“I always thought it was all in good fun between them,” Gerard sighed, sipping from his coffee. “I thought they were goofing around, not actually fighting. I mean, he’s so fucking hard in love with her...”

“Well, yesterday evening they were actually fighting,” Mikey mumbled. “Kept me up ‘till two before they finally shut up.”

“Do you think they killed each other?”

“If yes, we’re in real trouble finding not one, but two new band members,” Mikey sighed.

“I’m not offering my friends again,” Ray quickly defended. “She’s probably already mad that I didn’t shut Frank down more often. I don’t wanna loose more friends.”

“Do we even know anyone who plays drums and would join us?”

“You won’t need a new drummer, if you’ll still have me.”

Your voice made the three look up from their breakfast table, their eyes widening as they saw Frank and you standing next to them. It looked weird seeing the two of you standing so close next to each other without fuming from the mouths. Like an alternative reality, or real life Photoshop.

“Does that mean you’ll stay,” Ray asked, hopeful, his eyes quickly flickering to where Frank’s and your pinkies were linked between you.

“Frank and I talked tonight,” you answered and pulled out a chair, sitting down next to Ray. Frank took the chair on your other side, throwing his arm around your shoulder, and leant over, gently nudging his nose against your jaw before he placed a kiss there. “He had a few very compelling arguments for me to stay.”

Taglist:

@alexstyx @jayloverthe3rd @robinruns @lookalivefrosty @butterflycore @omgsuperstarg @fivelegance @deadlovers @casmustdiee @cmtryghoul

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avatar-anna · 1 year

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Can we please get more Julian and Harry content they are too cute

i looove them!! h obviously doesn’t have favorites, but i think he has a unique relationship with each of his kids, so here is a little bit about harry and jules

Julian is the only boy in the Styles clan, but he is definitely the most sensitive. For the first few years, he definitely crawls into Y/n and Harry's bed in the middle of the night, even though Harry already chased all the monsters out from under his bed.

The first time Jules goes to swimming lessons, he's terrified. He cries and kicks and refuses to get in the pool until Harry gets in with him to show him it’s not so bad; he even manages to get a floaty on so he and Julian can match.

Harry and Julian definitely go on father-son dates where they get lunch and get their nails done.

The first time Harry introduces Julian to his band (his live on tour band), Jules is super shy and hides behind his dad's leg or curls into his neck if he's being held. But when Harry sits him on his lap and helps him play the guitar, Jules gets more. comfortable, and Harry is super proud to see his little bubbie enjoying music and being less shy.

One time when Harry is in the dog house, he dresses Jules up in a tux and sends his son to Y/n with a heartfelt apology. When Harry finally makes an appearance, he asks Jules, “How did we do?” and Julian gives him a little thumbs up

Julian loves his Uncle Louis.

The first time Harry holds Julian after he's born, he cries. Considering his track record so far, he was convinced he would only have daughters, and to be honest he was a little nervous about raising a boy, but everything falls into place when he sees Julian’s little face for the first time.

Harry is constantly buying matching tour outfits for Julian.

One time, Julian wants to perform with Harry at his school’s talent show. Obviously they can’t risk exposing the family, but this is like the first time Julian wants to do something like this, so Harry invites close friends and family and they have a little Styles Family talent show where he and Jules can perform a little duet.

I feel like Julian loves dogs. He loves seeing them on the street and on TV, and there's definitely a time where he pretends to be a dog for a while. Like he sticks his tongue out and barks instead of talks. Harry totally leans into it to humor Jules, and one day Y/n comes home and sees the two of them crawling around on the floor and she's just like, wtf. Paw Patrol and Bluey are also popular in the Styles residence.

Before he leaves for tour, Harry always tells Julian, “You take care of Mama and your sisters, alright?” Julian is always really emotional when Harry has to leave, so Harry tries to give him a little pep talk and tells him to be a strong, brave boy for him.

When Jules is really little, Harry was gone a lot, and one time when he came back, Julian cried when Harry tried to hold him. It absolutely wrecked Harry. He can’t stand the idea of his son not recognizing his touch, and he beats himself up about it for a while.

Julian refuses to get his haircut because he wants to look like Harry after seeing some older pictures of Harry with his long hair. Y/n and Harry try to get him in a chair a couple times to get it cut, but eventually they just give up

There are tons of pictures in the house of Harry and Y/n with the kids. The one of Harry and Julian is definitely something like this.

Harry and Julian paint the nursery for Geneva and Natalia together. They both rock the jeans, no shirt, and backwards cap look. Julian wears a mask so he doesn't inhale the fumes, and Harry puts Jules on his shoulders to reach the higher parts. Unbeknownst to Harry, Y/n takes a picture of them and sends it to Zayn, who Harry doesn't really speak to anymore, but she makes it a point to check in every now and again (esp when she finds out he's having a baby). One day a package comes in the mail addressed to Julian, and it's a graffiti art of his name with a little more from “Uncle Z.” Harry’s confused, but when he asks Y/n about it, she acts surprised and says she didn’t know anything about it.

Harry and Julian are just best buds, and H loves his sweet boy so much🥹🥹

Young dad!Harry x Young mom!Reader universe

#harry styles #young dad! harry #young parent!harry styles #harry styles blurb #harry styles x reader #harry styles fanfic #harry styles oneshot #harry styles imagine #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles x you #harry styles fluff #harry styles writing #harry styles one shot #harry styles fic

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puroresu-musings · 3 months

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NJPW THE NEW BEGINNING in Osaka Review (Feb 11th, Osaka EDION Arena)

Toru Yano & YOH vs. Ryusuke Taguchi & Boltin Oleg **

Bishamon vs. Great-O-Khan & Callum Newman ***1/4

Shota Umino, El Desperado, Tomoaki Honma & Tiger Mask vs. EVIL, Ren Narita, SHO & Yujiro Takahashi **1/4

Tetsuya Naito, Yota Tsuji, Shingo Takagi, Hiromu Takahashi & BUSHI vs. SANADA, Yuya Uemura, Taichi, DOUKI & TAKA Michinoku ***

Kazuchika Okada vs. Hiroshi Tanahashi ****1/2

IWGP Tag Team Championship - El Phantasmo & Hikuleo (c) vs. KENTA & Chase Owens **

Bryan Danielson vs. Zack Sabre Jr. *****

10 Man Dog Pound Cage Death Match - United Empire vs. Bullet Club War Dogs *****

Photos.

Wow, what a show this turned out to be. It started pretty ordinary, but ultimately had three exceptional bouts, one of which is the best match of 2024 so far. The show opened with CHAOS teammates Yano and YOH taking on Taguchi and Young Lion Shooter, Oleg. This was perfectly fine, but only went 3:45, so there really wasn't much to mention. YOH scored the win over Taguchi with a roll up. Next, UE Young Boy Callum Newman got a chance to shine in his tag match with O-Khan against Bishamon. This was a good little sprint, with the spirited Newman looking especially good. It wasn't to be his night, however, as he was put away by the veterans at 7:37 with Shoto.

The NJPW Babyfaces took on House of Torture next. This was your typical HoT match, beginning with a brawl, before the babyfaces got their shine, only to succumb to heelish shenanigans. After Dick Togo distracted the ref, Narita hit Tiger Mask with the Metal Plated Push Up Bar Of Doom, before SHO pinned him with a Shock Arrow in 8:43. Post match saw SHO steal Despe's IWGP Jr. Belt and proclaim himself the new champion, so we've got yet another HoT stolen belt deal, and Desperado seems destined to feud with these dorks for his entire reign. This was followed by pretty much the same LIJ vs. J5G match we've seen all tour now. It was a good outing, but I can't say that I'm interested in any of this, aside from Tsuji and Uemura's Hair Match in Sapporo at the end of the match. The two youngsters carried the action in this one, which culminated in SANADA tapping out BUSHI at 11:05 with Skull End to go strong into his Title Match with Naito on the 24th.

Perhaps the final ever Okada vs. Tanahashi match followed, twelve years to the day that the Rainmaker Shock happened in this very same building that made Okada a Superstar. This was excellent, emotional stuff that was by no means the best match these two have ever had, but it was a great send-off for what is perhaps the greatest, most consistent feud ever. I've potentially gone a tad high with the rating, but I don't care, I'm sticking with it, as this one had me invested from the minute the entrances happened. The Osaka faithful were super into this, loudly chanting for Okada at the start, going crazy throughout. Tana, who's definitely in "office shape" at the moment, even turned back the clocks and hit the High Fly Body Attack to the floor, which was awesome. After getting the knees up on a HFF attempt, Okada nailed the Tombstone, but Tana turned the Rainmaker into a small package for a great near fall. After some back and forth which the crowd were totally into, Okada hit a beautiful dropkick, a Landslide, and a Rainmaker to put the President away at 16:50 with one final Rainmaker. The pair embraced in the post match, and a teary bowed to the Lion Mark and Okada bid farewell to Osaka. He only has two matches left in his NJPW career in Sapporo, which should be similarly emotional occasions, and hey, who knows, maybe he could even put someone over on his way out (nudge nudge, wink wink).

The IWGP Tag Title bout that followed was something of a dampener, to say the least. This was the opposite of the last match, the crowd were dead for the most part, and it moved at the speed of smell. It was hovering around one star territory, but things picked up once Hikuleo got the hot tag and ran wild, but it was short lived as the ref got bumped, Taiji Ishimori ran in, hit his old pal ELP with a belt, then Hikuleo, which allowed KENTA to steal the win and the titles. Look, I know New Japan likes and rewards loyalty, and Chase Owens was there for them when they needed people badly, but the notion of him holding a major title in NJPW in 2024 is all kinds of bemusing. And to say the new GoD's Tag Title reign was a bit of a disappointment would be an understatement. These guys deserve better, and I honestly don't have the strength to watch another match between these teams after the two we've already seen so far this year.

Thankfully, things turned around in fantastic fashion with an absolutely perfect display of pro-wrestling between ZSJ and Bryan Danielson. This was a rematch of their 5 star classic in AEW last October, and it managed to surpass that match and is the best bout of 2024 so far. Outstanding grappling and counter sequences throughout this, Dragon used an arm wringer to send Sabre's legs into the ropes, which he then proceeded to work over the whole match with intense kicks and leglocks. Zack fought back, working over Danielson's neck. Lots of Romero Specials, Manjigatame's and Cobra Twists, before it broke down into a stiff strike exchange. Danielson hit a big Back Suplex off the top for a near fall, then tried Cattle Mutilation, which Sabre escaped and hit a Zack Driver for a near fall of his own. Dragon hit the stomps, then locked in the crazy arm submission he submitted Okada with, but Zack fought to the ropes. Another strike battle culminated in Danielson hitting the Busaiku Knee out of a backslide, but Sabre turned a second into a European Clutch, they exchanged great cradles, before ZSJ got the pin with a crucifix at 32:46 of fabulous action. The two shook hands afterwards, and now being 1-1, Danielson challenged Zack to a 2 out of 3 falls tiebreaker backstage, which I'm 100% down for. In the ring, ZSJ signalled he wanted a belt, then called out the winner of Naito/SANADA (despite what Chris Charlton might have claimed he said). I'm all for Zack winning the belt to be fair. I've lots to say about Naito being the champion again, which I'll refrain from, but all I will say is that the guy who holds the top belt in this company sure has felt like an after thought since winning.

Then the Dog Pound Cage main event that was also Will Ospreay's New Japan swan song. Look, theres way too much to even attempt to recap, and I went back and forth about going the full 5 stars on this one, as it did feature some stuff I really wasn't keen on. BUT, at the end of the day, these 10 guys put on an absolute spectacle of bloody drama and craziness, and it's definitely not a match I'll forgot any time soon, and a tremendous post match. They had an impossible task in following the previous match, but they had an equally blow-away outing, that was the complete wrestling polar opposite. This was set up like that classic ROH vs. CZW Cage of Death from 2006, in that the cage encircled ringside as opposed to the ring itself, and was fought under War Games rules, with guys coming out every two minutes.

Ospreay and Finaly started, with Ospreay convincing Finlay to let them fight for 5 minutes. Lots and lots of crazy stuff followed, which included the heels bringing out a ton of plunder, Akira hitting an incredible dive off the cage onto the War Dogs before Connors gave him a big spear through an upright table in the corner, Gabe Kidd potatoing HENARE with table shot, that split him open bad on the top of his head, which the doctors at ringside spent a lot of time trying to patch up. HENARE got a receipt of sorts later when he hit Kidd with a super stiff slap that looked like it knocked Gabe silly. Connors hit a big spear on Ospreay through the ropes, off the apron and through a table at ringside, Jeff Cobb ran wild on everyone with his incredible power moves, TJP emerged from under the ring as the Aswang, running wild and misting all the heels, Maloney broke up a pin attempt by Drilla Killa'ing Ospreay into the pile of bodies, Coughlin took a serious wilful beating with kendo sticks, who then took a big senton through a table off HENARE from the top of the cage. Connors introduced thumbtacks, but ended up bumping into the pins. Gedo came out with a barbed wire wrapped table, but O-Khan put an end to his interference, and it was Finlay who went through the barbed wire table, thanks to an Ospreay powerbomb. Gabe Kidd responded by hitting Ospreay with a piledriver off the apron, through a ladder bridge to the floor. Moloney forked Akira in the head, who juiced heavily, but then overcame his fear of the fork, no-sold it, and stabbed Drilla in the head with the cutlery, drawing his blood of his own, then hanged Connors over the top with a dog collar.

The heels then handcuffed Cobb to the cage, removed the ring canvas and padding, exposing the boards, and what followed was absolutely terrifying, as those boards were flying around and guys were falling through the ring left and right, to the point I thought someone might get seriously hurt. HENARE hit a massive vertical suplex on Kidd to the boards, before he too was handcuffed. Akira then took a horrendous Tombstone on the boards, which left Ospreay alone with the War Dogs. Sacrificing himself to save Akira, he tried a Hidden Blade, but collapsed from exhaustion, resulting in him taking a spear into the boards by Connors, then Finlay wrapped his knee in barbed wire and hit Ospreay with his new Overkill finish to end this insanity and win for his team in 64:05 of crazy, mind-blowing action.

The Overkill finish was quite ironic given the amounts of sheer overkill in this thing, there were times when I thought/was begging it would be over, but they just kept going and doing crazier stuff. Anyone who knows me knows I love a good crazy, unhinged blood and gimmicks match, and this was one of the best there's ever been, overkill or not. In the post match, Ospreay bid farewell to New Japan, and he got the big emotional send off with the confetti and all the UE guys surrounding him. Ospreay asked that the fans not forget him, and backstage he promised he'd be back, but when was still a mystery. Losing Ospreay is a major blow to NJPW (not to mention they're also losing Okada!), but I've no doubt he'll do great things in AEW.

NDT

#njpw #new beginning in osaka #review #will ospreay #united empire #bullet club war dogs #new japan pro wrestling #zack sabre jr #bryan danielson #american dragon #kazuchika okada #hiroshi tanahashi #puroresu #wrestling #reviews #wrestling reviews #aew #wwe

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