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#West Country Magic
assiraphales · 6 months
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fuck it. fantasy old western au where zoro is a bounty hunter chasing down outlaws & pisses off the wrong sheriff at a saloon (axe hand morgan). he’s sent to the stocks, hours from dying from heat exhaustion under the hot desert sun, when young upstart monkey d luffy (in search of a stockpile of hidden gold that infamous outlaw gol d roger hid in the mountains) enters the scene guns literally a blazing
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livinxdead · 7 months
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West Virginia, Mountain Mama.
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dgtor-official · 1 year
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Sketches of beautiful Klao (more commonly known as Kru) girls! It took me forever to find photos that were specifically southeastern Liberian Klao (closer to where my dakwe would be) for accurate reference. I learned about the indigo forehead mark from a Klao journalist’s article so the girls here have it. All the current photos, though, were black and white, so I had to take a guess on some of the colors based on my own real life reference. I really love this and just might make it a series with the Bassa and Vai people, and maybe even the Kpelle. But yeah! I had a lot of fun on this, and I really loved it came out! Just so tumblr doesn’t nuke this post, I did not draw in nipples. It’s stupid but whatever.
Most of their outfits are based off of this photo:
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lailoken · 2 years
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'Infusions of Virtue'
"Both the wild hedge-row, and the working garden, provide the green-doctor with highly virtuous worts whose potencies may not only be employed within the creation of charms, or for burning to issue forth their powers within magical rites and workings. These gifts may also be made great use of to prepare potent infusions to give their virtue, aid and strength unto the needs of body, mind, and the spirit.
Here follow but some of the various worts and their virtues enjoyed within West Country infusions;
Bramble Leaves
The Leaves of the Bramble, or Blackberry, are good for the trearing of cankers or ulcers in the mouth and the throat.
Camomile
The Camomile is good for the soothing aching stomachs, for ulcers and for the pains of teething.
Elderberry
The ripe Elderberry is good against phlegm and for the suffering sinuses.
Elderflower
The Elderflower is good for relief from fevers, and with honey it is good for chills.
Melissa
The Melissa, or Lemon Balm, is good for the treatment of depression, arracks of anxiety, and for the circulation.
Mugwort
The Mugwort is good for colds of the head.
Nettle
The Nettle is good for the digestive system and works against pleurisy and infections of the throat.
Pennyroyal
The Pennyroyal makes an elixir to be drunk for enlivening of the spirit and against fatigue.
Periwinkle
An infusion of the Periwinkle will encourage passions and love within those who partake of it.
Rosemary
Infusions of the Rosemary should be applied to the scalp to ward against hair loss and to encourage strong regrowth. Some say that the potency of this infusion is enhanced greatly by collecting the water to be employed from the hollows in the roots of great Beech Trees.
Sage
Infusions of the potent Sage should be drunk regularly for good health, long life, and to ward off lethargy.
Thyme
The Thyme is good for the treatment of sore throats, headaches and insomnia. Valerian The Valerian creates an infusion that will draw love unto its drinker."
The Black Toad:
West Country Witchcraft and Magic
Part 3: Old Mother Green-Cap
by Gemma Gary
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lochness-tess · 5 months
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My favourite Wiltshire inspired watercolours by Sonia Hill, available to buy/view on her Facebook and Etsy. Wonderful! 🦋
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georgia-stanway · 1 year
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Also exeter?????
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reasonsforhope · 21 days
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"Lawmakers in Thailand’s lower house of Parliament overwhelmingly approved a marriage equality bill on Wednesday that would make the country the first in Southeast Asia to legalize equal rights for marriage partners of any gender.
The bill passed its final reading with the approval of 400 of the 415 members of the House of Representatives in attendance, with 10 voting against it, two abstaining and three not voting.
Thailand has a reputation for acceptance and inclusivity but has struggled for decades to pass a marriage equality law. Thai society largely holds conservative values, and members of the LGBTQ+ community say they face discrimination in everyday life. The government and state agencies are also historically conservative, and advocates for gender equality have had a hard time pushing lawmakers and civil servants to accept change.
[Note: As always, worth noting that all of those things can be said about the US and plenty of Western countries too. The West isn't magically non-homophobic.]
The bill now goes to the Senate, which rarely rejects any legislation that passes the lower house, and then to the king for royal endorsement. This would make Thailand the first country or region in Southeast Asia to pass such a law and the third in Asia, after Taiwan and Nepal.
The bill amends the Civil and Commercial Code to change the words “men and women” and “husband and wife” to “individuals” and “marriage partners.” It would open up access to full legal, financial and medical rights for LGBTQ+ couples...
The new government led by Pheu Thai, which took office last year, has made marriage equality one of its main goals."
-via AP News, March 27, 2024
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zeldasnotes · 1 year
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VENUS IN THE HOUSES
The sign of your Venus & aspects to Venus are not taken into consideration in this post.
How to attract the Venus signs
MASTERLIST
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Venus in the 1st house
These people attract a lot of luck in their lives because of how likeable they are. Everything from friends, partners, jobs just seems to come naturally to these people. Other people are envious of their lives because they seem to just have it all. No matter how jealous they make people they wont be hated because their haters can sense that everyone will be on the venusian persons side. Social and charming. They make sure to not butt heads with the wrong people. They know how important it is to be well liked and what gifts it will bring them. Physically these people have symmetric faces and very good looking bodies. The fat on their bodies is evenly distributed making them look good. The facial features just seem to melt together perfectly creating a look that everyone will find attractive. They usually fit the beauty standard of the country they live in. Whatever they lack physically will be made up for with the right makeup and clothes. They have a friendly look to the face making them very approachable which adds to their popularity and gives them huge ammounts of social connections. The outer corners of their lips are usually upturned making them look like they are always smiling. They usually have dimples either on their cheeks, or lower back to show a proof of symmetry for potential mates that says ”Look i have good genes, procreate with me Im balanced and make symmetric babies!” The dark side of this placement is that there can be an almost obsessive need to be well liked by people. These people can be the first one you call when you need help with something because they will say yes, especially when it comes to people who can help them look good or are well connected. Remember that Venus wasnt that innocent.
Venus in the 2nd house
People with this placement can have a very sweet and seductive voice that can be almost hypnotizing. Some of these people also have the habit of making their voices softer than it already is on purpose because Venus is how we charm and how we get away with stuff. People with Venus in the 2nd house knows how to seduce by using their magic hands and their magic voices, especially when they are being confronted. This is a very sensual house and people with Venus here loves to indulge. They value everything that feels, looks and smells good. They love stuff like jewelry, expensive restaurants, expensive parfumes, spas, 5 star hotels, art and they have excellent taste in all of those things. 2nd house is also the house of finances and Venus will definitely bless these people here. This placement is very common among child actors, politicians and royalty. So basically its common in the charts of people who never even experienced poverty and who comes from a bloodline of rich people. Its a typical ”old money” placement. North West for example got this placement and she was born to two extremely rich parents. Physically this gives a stunning face, especially the eyes, lips and chin will be gorgeous. Look at for example Olivia Hussey, Jessica Biel and Kelly Rowland who all 3 got Venus in the 2nd house and their faces really stand out. This is a fixed house and also the house of moral values so these people have very strong sense of moral values that they wont go against. They are extremely loyal and will leave instantly if betrayed because these people dont play when it comes to their self worth. You will have to treat them just as good as they treat themselves or they will leave.
Venus in the 3rd house
These people are really good at giving compliments and showing their appreciation which is why they are so well liked. There can be a fixation with talking here. Like the people with this placement can feel a need to ALWAYS have some kind of communication going on, they could be on the phone 24/7 or just message people about random stuff to have some kind of interaction going on. Mental stimulation is very important here. They love using fancy words and they are very tactful. They can find it hard to talk back aggressively so they prefer to say something witty back instead of screaming. Britney Spears have this placement and even when she was screaming at paparazzi who stalked her she was being nice. In a lot of the worst paparazzi videos on Britney she says stuff like ”Leave me alone sir” which shows that no matter how angry she is politeness is still important. These people have their own signature way of talking they might for example have a unique little laugh that always comes out after they said something. They are good at writing because they have such an amazing imagination. Very good at presenting themselves, especially in professional settings since they are so good at small talk. They are so good at mingling.They looove to come up with nicknames for people or call their partner stuff like ”honeyboo” and ”cutie”. They are usually well known and very well liked in the neighborhood they grew up in. The girl next door. The popular girl at school. Their siblings are well known and probably good looking. This placement is common in that cocky kid at school who everyone wants to beat up but they cant because everyone know who his big brother is. The negative side of this aspect is that less kind people around them notice how much these people dislike to be rude and talk back which leads to bitter people taking out their anger on them. If this placement is badly aspected it can lead to obsessive gossiping and obsessive communication that can become very annoying for people close to them. These people usually have gorgeous naturally wellshaped arms and beautiful hands.
Venus in the 4th house
These people have a very beautiful relationship to their mothers. The mother is usually beautiful and kind. This aspect is common in people who are the first child who was the family blessing but its also common in the youngest child who becomes the family sweetheart. Anyways these people have a special role in the family. These people can be the first one to do something good for the family. For example they could be the first one to get an education or the first to move from the country. The first one to break a generational curse. Kamala Harris got this placement and she is the first female vice president which will definitely be good for her children and grandchildren. This will bless her family for generations to come. These people usually come from a bloodline of beautiful women. Their bloodline could even be royal. King Charles the 3rd have this placement and he is the longest-serving heir apparent in British history. These people value their home a lot and its important for them to have a beautiful home. They are prepared to spend a little extra on beautiful furniture. Their homes are beautiful and luxurious with a lot of scented candles and cozy blankets. People with this placement have a warm motherly aura surrounding them. Children are very drawn to them. These people might be kind, nurturing and willing to do anything to help a friend in trouble but dont betray them or mess with their family because they are protectors. The negative side of this placement is that there is a risk here to value tradition and culture a little too much. A lot of patriots have this placement. You know the kind of annoying people whos whole personality revolve around them being from a certain country/area, yeah those people are likely to have this placement.
Venus in the 5th house
These people have an aura around them that screams STAR. These are people who have that IT image. People cant help but admire these people just look at Naomi Campbell, Megan Fox, Eva Longoria, Janet Jackson, Alexa Demie, Megan Fox who all have this placement. The list of influential people with this placement is sooo long. These people have a unique sense of fantasy and style and thats what makes them the best artists in the world. Everything from the way they talk to the way they walk screams confidence and pride. These people if they have children will have a lot of them. These are the kind of people who have like 10 children. They usually have a very good relationships to their children. The first child is almost always a Venusian. And if one of your parents have this placement then lucky you because then you are probably gorgeous. Ive noticed that a lot of men with this placement get babytrapped by women they are not interested in (their own fault tho, nobody forced them to sleep around) and have a lot of different babymamas. These people are usually very much into music and art. They want everything around them to be attention grabbing. They have the most expensive car in the neighbourhood, the hottest partner, the most expensive watch. They need to show whos the king of the jungle. They need a good looking partner, this is the house of Leo afterall. They find confidence extremely attractive and they love a partner with beautiful hair/beard. One downside to this placement is that these people come off as way more flirtatious than they really are which can make a lot of people think that the Venus 5th house person is interested in them which leads to a lot of drama and conflict between them and their current partner.
Venus in the 6th house
These people are very ambitious and dedicated. Not because they want luxury or status but because they want to have a comfortable daily life. These people usually live very comfortable lifes too. They are very well liked by bosses and colleagues. People with Venus in the 6th house are very health orienten and into fitness. They really do treat their body as their temple. The way their body look is very important for them and if badly aspected they could go so far as to get plastic surfery. Lollo Ferrari the woman with the lagrets breasts in the world have this placement. Most of them dont go that far tho because these people want to be natural. They work out and eat well. There is a natural and glowy beauty to them. There is a beauty and sophistication with these people that is incredibly attractive and makes people feel like these people are very important but it can also make them come across as arrogant.They look really good without doing much and their bodies are gorgeous and so captivating. These people also look incredible in any kind of uniform. They are very interested in nutrition, gym, yoga and diets. A lot of vegetarians and vegans have this placement and so do a lot of athletes. They need to feel productive which is why they always got some kind of project going on. This is the house of Virgo so these people can be kinda judgmental but not in a mean way. This is because they see instantly what needs to be fixed. They need to understand that most people wont appreciate their advice. These people can be very picky with everything from food to clothes, they need perfection.
Venus in the 7th house
These people are incredibly socially aware and possess social skills that will charm anyone. This is something that just comes naturally for them they dont even have to fake it. They are usually very popular and have a lot of contacts. This is the kind of person who everybody in their hometown knows who they are. This can sometimes become too much for them. They love to connect with people and they take good care of their relationship but sometimes this ”fame” and having to constantly be on their best behaviour can become too much. They know that they are expected to be the kind one, the one who solves and doesnt get angry and this puts pressure on them. This is why its common for these people to actually move from their hometown at some point. These people will get the person they want because they are seen as wifey/husband material. People around them can get shocked over how easy these people attract partnerships, they were just going to the store to buy some milk and comes back with 5 new contacts in their phone. These people prefer to be in a relationship. They feel like they need their other half. They prefer to do stuff with company than doing it alone. These people love everything beautiful especially clothes, art and homedecor. They want to be surrounding by beauty. They also want a goodlooking partner but not to show off but because beauty makes them feel comfortable. If Venus is aspected in this house it can make the person very vain and judgmental tho. The downside to this placement is that they value peace and harmony so much that they might have a hard time standing up for themselves. This can lead to them holding grudges over stuff they never confronted their partner for. Physically these people are almost always attractive and if they arent people wont notice anyways because thats the kind of charm they possess. Just like with Venus in the 1st house they seem to always be smiling.
Venus in the 8th house
This placement can bring great insecurities to the person because they dont see their own beauty and charm, its like the 8th house is hiding it from them and making it visible only to everybody else. They notice how mesmerized people are by them but they just cant see it themselves. A lot of these peoples insecurities comes from envious people who have been making mean comments trying to humle them. Remember that the 8th house shows obsession so people are completely taken by these peoples appearances. Someone close to the family, a relative or even a parent was probably obsessed with the way they look when they were just a child. This placement is common in children who had parents who got them into childmodeling or beauty pageants. Other people noticed your appearance before you did and you never stood a chance against the envy and hate thrown at you. There is a depth to their personality and they have a deep understanding for others. These people were often hurt early in life by someone they loved which made them feel an obsession with control. The 8th house is the house of others people money and these people are incredibly lucky here. They attract A LOT from others. It doesnt have to be cash it can be gifts, rides, meals anything expensive. People want to give them stuff. There is a huge chance or of getting an inheritance from a husband or from someone in their family. They attract rich and successful people. Physically there is something very mysterious about the face here, especially the eyes and the lips will be so seductive that people cant help but stare in awe. They possess a magic sex appeal and they put a spell on everyone they meet. The dark side to this placement is that they attract a lot of secret admirers and attention from the wrong people. Most people with this placement have had a stalker at some point in their life. The stalking seems to most times be sexually motivated. They also attract people who envy them and wants to take from them.
Venus in the 9th house
These people are very interested in art, fashion and movies from other cultures than their own. We can see this placement in for example the chart of Kim Kardashian who have been appropriating other cultures for years. Ofc not everyone with Venus in the 9th house will be like this but it can happen if Venus is afflicted. They love to travel and they love adventure. This love for adventure can sometimes put them in risky situations because these people can be very reckless when it comes to having fun. These people can feel a strong need to move away from their hometown or even from their homecountry. They are not afraid of change at all infact they are the opposite, they want change and excitement. These people love to learn and a lot of them are very well educated. They take great pride in their intelligence. They have strong opinions that they are not afraid to share. Sometimes when they share these opinions they can sound very preachy and arrogant. They are drawn to religion and history. This is a common placement in people who at some point convert to a different religion. These people have an incredible sense of humour since this is the house of Jupiter. They are naturally funny without even trying and can be very clumsy. They are easy to be around because they dont take themselves too seriosuly and they are super down to earth. One downside to this placement is that other people can make way to much of a deal about their cultural background and they might be fetishized. Jessica Alba got this placement and she talks in a lot of interviews about how they wanted her to play a stereotype of latinas and that for years she was only seen as ”the latina” and was fetishized by men in Hollywood. She was also told that she couldnt be the main star in a lot of movies because that role was for someone whos more european looking.
Venus in the 10th house
These people are seen as very professional and respectable. No matter what they actually do behind the scenes there is something about them that makes people think highly of them. Usually very well connected. You just cant help but envy them because they seem to have it all, they make sure to be seen this way too. These people take their reputation very seriously. If you talk badly about them or make them look bad infront of others you will have to pay. These people need to look good even going to the neighborhood store because they want to always be seen at their best. The annoying part of this placement is that other people are so invested in their relationships. These people are picky and want people with a good reputation just like them which leads to them most times dating someone well known in their community or just someone whos very good looking. Because of this they attract a lot of attention. People can be obsessed or even fixated with these peoples relationships. Their relationship drama have a tendency to become very public. Look at for example Johnny Depp, Kanye West and Victoria Beckham they all have this placement and they all date well known good looking people but it comes with a price. The downside to this placement is that their life can become too much about reputation, work and material gain that they forget to enjoy life. This also happens in their relationships, they look for a partner that makes them LOOK good instead of going for someone that makes them FEEL good which they regret when they get older. There is also a tendency here to think that people are watching every step and therefore they are deadly afraid of doing something embarrassing. Physically these people usually have gorgeous hair, skin and gorgeous bone structure. Their bodies are usually blessed by Venus too.
Venus in the 11th house
This aspect is really good for people who are a part of anything organized and that involves a lot of people. Its a good aspect for criminals since this guarantees a high position in the gang and loyal members. For example Pablo Escobar who was the leader of the Medellin Cartel which is considered the first major drug cartel. He easily became reapected and seen as a leader. This is a typical ”Regina George” aspect. These people are incredibly talented when it comes to all subjects that are considered taboo or odd for example Astrologer Liz Greene. These people are incredibly intelligent and good at thinking outside of the box. Friendships is very important for them and they want their relationships to feel a like a friendship too, to be romantically involved with these people they will want you to be their friend first of all. The 11th house also rules social media and these people can quickly become very popular here. These are the kind of people who reach overnight success or go viral because of some video they posted. Its a perfect influencer placement, especially since they are so good at coming up with new ideas and knows how to be steps ahead of the rest of society when it comes to fashion. These people value originality and this can be seen by how they dress. They usually have their own style because expressing themselves is so important for these people. The downside of this placement is that being unique can become almost like an obsession. These people have a very logical mind and they detach emotionally easily when needed. They need space and freedom and they wont be with someone whos too clingy. These people are usually humanitarian and fight hard to change the world for the better. A lot of protestors have this placement. These people are extremely needed in society.
Venus in the 12th house
These people are very well behaved and socially appropriate. They behave like angels and they look like angels too. There is a glowy and magical aura surrounding them almost like a halo. The eyes are usually glossy and the skin got a dewy look. They are super cute. There is a sense of mystery to the way they dress and look that makes them hard to read and figure out. These people have so much feelings and can be oversensitive because they feel the feelings of everyone around them. They are very good at putting themselves in other peoples shoes. There is humbleness about them that is incredibly attractive. This is unfortunately why they attract a lot of bad people tho. They attract people who need their healing touch but doesnt want to give anything back. These people give and give until they have nothing left. They forgive too easily. People want all this glory and goodness for themselves. Everyone can see that they are kind and naive, its written all over their face. These people have the habit of getting involved in secret relationships with unreliable people who could even use them. They have psychic abilities and are drawn to spirituality, tarot and astrology. They also use their psychic powers in their relationships. These people can feel what their partner wants and need. For example they see a hot person that they have never seen before and they intuitively know how to act to attract This person. This can be seen by others as them being deeply manipulative but they just can help themselves, they are chameleons. Their partners can also become disappointed when they find out the Venus 12th house person were not liked they seemed.
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foone · 8 months
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annoying chronomancer who keeps dropping references in casual conversation to shit you don't understand. when asked about it, it turns out it's a movie that won't come out for 400 years and not in this universe anyway. when you can bend time and multiversal space to your will, pirating interdimensional anachronistic cable is trivial, so you end up consuming a lot of media that no one else will have seen or heard or felt or tasted.
You go over to their house for a party and they've got some other chronomancers over and they're all watching a sranga (it's like anime, but from quellistan (which is off the coast of west africa, just not in this timeline)) and it's from 1472 (Yeah that timeline invented animation real early!) and all the subtitles are in binary, but instead of 1 and 0 they're using 4 and 8? also they say some of the highlights on the characters can't be really enjoyed unless you can see ultraviolet. don't worry, by 2076 everyone will have that gene therapy to widen the range of their personal visual spectrum.
chronomancers are such jerks. Anyway the whole point of this is that even though this happened back in 1963, your chronomancer "friend" complains about that "ideas are bulletproof" speech from V for Vendetta. That's why they got one of their magical pistol buds to help them out, and she invented an Armor-Piercing Anti-Ideological Rifle. You ask why they would do this, and they said they were just so tired of everywhere playing the same 5 songs by The Silver Jimmies. You say you've never heard that band, are they from the future? No, they formed in 1958, and became the #1 best selling musical artist in 27 countries. You ask what timeline, and they say this one. At least, until they got their new rifle.
again, chronomancers can be jerks.
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spartanlocke · 2 months
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Hi so if you see this post on twitter, do not listen, do not retweet it.
I understand people think voting third party will magically solve our problems, but it won't. Mainly because the electoral college is quite literally rigged by Democrats and Republicans against third parties to prevent them from winning. And this mindset that "if just enough people vote third party we'll win!" is one of the major reasons Trump won in the first place.
And I need to you listen, ok? I need you to listen closely.
If Trump wins, we'll lose the entire Democratic party, he'll have personal control over the military to go after anyone who opposes him, including other politicians and protesters. Pornography will be criminalized alongside surrogacy, contraceptives and divorce. KOSA will be implemented and anything even slightly "unchristian" will be censored on the internet. Women will be forced to marry their rapists, immigrates will be forced out of the country, queer people will be massacred, and PoC and disabled people, all of us, will lose our rights.
This. Is. Not. The time. To be gambling. With third parties.
Additionally, Cornel West is only available on ballots in two states, meaning most people can't vote for him. On top of that he supports Russia and wants to disband NATO, praised Reagan, and owes half a million in taxes and child support. He's not going to fix our problems, and with so few states even offering the option to vote for him, he's basically already lost.
Do not vote third party. Do not gamble our future. Biden is our best chance at stopping Trump and Christofacism, just vote for him.
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qqueenofhades · 3 months
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what gets me is whenever any of these people says not to vote, and you ask them what the alternative is, they usually throw some tantrum about how it shouldn't be their job to fix this country and they're not expected to know (or start calling you a neoliberal or a bootlicker lmao) and i just. i don't get that? not voting, especially in the current climate, is a big deal. i don't think it's unreasonable to ask anyone who advocates for that what the alternative is. i'm not expecting you, online leftist, to magically know how to fix everything. i am expecting something from you if you're gonna tell me not to vote, especially when we both know that helps the gop. like, how dare we ask them to defend this big choice they're telling us to make?
their position boils down to helping trump and the republicans but any time you remind them of that they get upset. what is the alternative? what plan do they have? it would be one thing if there was another option that they'd come up with, but they haven't and don't seem interested in doing so. mutual aid and organizing is only going to take us so far and it'll be a hell of a lot easier to do it with biden in office than trump
The whole "it doesn't matter who's president/in charge of the government because mutual aid and organizing is the only valid way to do community engagement" is the leftist version of the Brexit nutcases who, and I swear I am not making this up, argued that it was fine if the UK left the EU trading sphere/single market/customs union with nothing to replace it, because "Britain is a nation of farmers and can grow food in our back gardens!!!!" Yes, because you're so devoted to your stupid ideology that you think the large-scale collapse of society, a major world power, a western democracy, and everything else will have no effect, and you can just do your little Facebook mutual aid groups and happily shout on Twitter at anyone who disagrees with you. Never mind the fact that this would obviously and immediately harm vulnerable people the most and that nobody, not even the Online Leftists themselves, actually wants to live in the Violent Revolution Total Anarchy World they masturbate to. Maybe this makes me a neoliberal corporate shill, but I'd rather that the world got better, instead of worse. I would actually prefer that myself, my friends, my family, my whole life, the whole country, and the rest of the world wasn't sacrificed on the Great Revolution Altar, but I shouldn't worry. We have mutual aid. At least as long as a) you have never said anything the Online Leftists even slightly disagree with, since they're sure as hell not the kind of people I would trust to have my back in any large-scale societal collapse, and b) I guess they'll all be growing food in their back gardens too, rather than using any of those dirty "government" or "society" things to supply their basic needs. We're saved! No need to worry. Bring on the anarchy.
Aside from the fact that Online Leftists, as I have said before, think that moral action begins and ends with posting the Right Opinions on social media at the correct timeframe and any other action or engagement with a flawed system or basic reality is heresy, they don't like being challenged -- i.e. "if we don't vote, then what do we do?" -- because a) it questions their authority as supreme arbiters of morality, and b) it means that there should actually be an action in place of cutting out something so consequential as voting, which likewise clashes with their "everything will be fixed by Magical Thinking" viewpoint. They don't want to be asked what to do in place of voting, or in anything at all; they want to think their correct thoughts and judge anyone who doesn't, regardless of how logically incoherent these things are or the inevitable outcome of those decisions, because nothing bad is ever their fault, or even the Republicans' fault, or anyone else at all except for the Democrats and/or "the West." I mean, yeah, if they're going around to preach the Don't Vote Because It's Actually Evil gospel, it's the bare fucking minimum to expect that they have something to offer in return besides Ye Olde Bolshevik cosplay fantasies. Since they don't, they get tetchy when you point that out.
Also, while I know it's the social media fashion that everything has to be the worst thing ever and we have plenty of the "Biden is also a genocidal fascist but I guess vote for him or something" utterly-minimum-standard posts going around, I will point out why that rhetoric is a) wrong and b) unhelpful. (Not that I expect it will make a single difference to anyone who has to get their internet cred by yelling about how Biden is a fascist, but still.) No, Biden is not a fascist by any logical definition of the word, you would have to do a lot of work to convince me that he is personally genocidal beyond what is demanded of any post-1948 American president who exists in an extremely complicated international sphere with long-standing alliances (such as, yes, with Israel) and indeed not quite a bit more progressive than literally every one of his predecessors, and it makes those actual words useless. If you claim that "Biden and Trump are both genocidal fascists," you are utterly effacing those categories as any kind of critical or useful distinction. You can't argue for any difference, you can't point out policy essentials or nuances, you can't make the most basic of empirical observances or come to a judgment on whether any part of that statement is true, because language has been deliberately stripped of meaning and used to score Cool Internet Leftist points. How can we explain what fascism or genocide actually are and what to do about them, if it's just what you call everyone as a matter of course whenever they disagree with you? You can't. That's the point.
Once again: I strongly disagree with the idea of just giving Israel/Netanyahu a blank check to keep committing atrocities, but I also need to repeatedly point out that Biden isn't doing that. His initial unconditional support of Israel after October 7 (which at the time was the correct response) has shifted to a much more measured and conditional approach where he has muted the overtly pro-Israel statements and started talking about a two-state solution and the need to protect the lives of civilians and trying to keep a lid on what could become a REALLY bad situation with all kinds of war-hungry powers eager to jump into the Middle East and blow it completely to hell. As I have said in my other posts, Trump will not do this. Trump will do the exact opposite. Which is why Netanyahu, who doesn't like having his hands tied precisely in the way Biden is doing, is trying so hard to get Trump back in. This also extends to the people who think that the West/the U.S. is the source of all evil in the world, but they're somehow the only people that can make actual choices or have real agency. Everyone else is just an American puppet; everyone is being lied to or manipulated by America/the West; nobody ever chose anything of their own free will; America/the West could roll in and put a stop to everything bad if they "really wanted to," but choose not to because etc. etc., Evil. As such, this completely fact-free belief is basically the central starting point for Online Leftism, which as I have also said, is now beyond useless and verging on just as deranged and actively dangerous as the fascists, especially since they are 100% willing to enable far-right fascism however and whenever they can because something something, That Will Show Us.
Anyway. Yes. Whew.
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yourtongzhihazel · 22 days
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I’m not sure why you think the proletariat of any country could win a rebellion at the current moment. The west has had over a CENTURY to learn how to undermine and resist leftist violent action, and it does it extremely well. Trying to do an open rebellion would have the same effect as shoving the working class into a giant meat grinder. Not everyone is willing to put their lives on the line in the name of communism and we gotta find a way to work with that AND avoid massacres
This is just a rehashing of the "magical revolution" "critique" that liberals constantly trot out. When have I ever said we have to take up arms in open rebellion right now? Every single post I stress the need to organize and agitate and build worker power since the united states doesn't even have that. The conditions are clearly not ready yet. The usa is not even ready for communist parties to do electorialism yet. Get a strong, organized proletariat before you start talking about open arms. The ultimate (see also, final) action of intensifying contradictions and class conflict is open war.
Also get a grip of your pessimism. The american state is formidable, but it not invincible. Insurgents the world over have thrown off their attacks. usamerican proletarians can too.
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hcdragonwrites · 8 months
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A Tiger on the Mountain (a @semisolidmind Fanfic)
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Here it is ! Another one. I made up a creature specifically so I could play out a scenario in my head and lead into another fic after this one. This is not a two parter but it leaves it open for a follow up!
TW: Blood and Violence and allusions to torture at the end. (Not of Peaches SHES fine)
“Get out before you become a new rug for me to wipe my feet upon.” Sun Wukong snarled over the table, his staff in his hands. The Nine Tiger Demon took a step backward at the fury. The expedition to this kingdom of monkeys and flowers had been a fools mission. Zari, The Nine Tiger Demon- Lord of the Eastern Waste and Terror of the Snowy Steppes, dipped his head cordially.
“As you wish, my Lord.” The tiger smiled and stepped out of the council room, his great black cape swirling as he exited in a flourish. He had made a jab at the Monkey Kings pride by calling him Lord. He knew that his patience was wearing thin with him. Especially after he had eluded to the weakness of mortal Ally’s.
“It is necessary to procure some of the goods they produce.” Wukong had waved the complaint aside. As if waving a fly. Zari was a lord of a snowy country where resources were few and blood was spilt as common as the snowfall. His kind had been hunted by poachers for their pelts. For the magic quality in their stripped bodies. Bones, blood, tendons, fur, claws… Everything in a tigers body was hunted for medicine, magic and mayhem. To hear that the most feared creature west of his kingdom, the great demonic Monkey King who had challenged Heaven, had made treaties with humans…
Zari had licked his muzzle sensing weakness.
“Why treat when you can take?” The tiger lord had questioned. His attendants beside him fidgeted, their hands straying to the scimitars belted to their sides. A twitch of his tail tip called them off. A tiger was playing with a monkey to see what sort of prey it had between his claws.
“And cause further disharmony around me ? Mortal men are easily placated. It leaves me free to put my resources into more important things.” Here the monkey leaned forward, eyes glowing with the torchlight. “Like seeking new territories in the east.”
The threat was received but Zari didn’t rise to the bait. He was a patient creature. The scars on his stripped hands and body proved how many battles and hunters he had outwitted.
Of course Zari had only come to sieze up the competition in the West. He never had any intentions of swearing allegiance to the ape. To debase himself to an ape? Never. So it only took Wukong a few more verbal jousts to also know the game was at an end. He had dismissed the tiger with a threat. Zari kept his claws velveted. For now.
As he stepped out of the corridor he let the slightest bit of agitation show in his whiskered face. A twitch of a tail brought one of his attendants forward.
“Gather the lower Claw.” Zari whispered. “They need a good hunt.”
“Of course my King.” The lesser demon bowed and raced off, light as a feather in the wind. At least that would humble the foolish ape—
Zari came around the corner and bumped straight into something soft, and pliable. His claws caught it reflexively before the thing fell completely onto his black armor and ruined his perfect complexion. He hissed, about to snap at this new weaker underling of a foolish king when the scent hit the top of his mouth.
Human.
“I’m so sorry!” It was female. The women pulled from the tiger claws. Her eyes remained cast down. Simple peasant clothes. Hair tied up in a messy updo. Flushed cheeks, good proportions. The tigers eyes had been blown wide.
“Are you alright miss?” Zira smoothed the twitching of his whiskers, kept the lashing of his tail to a minimum. But his instincts roared and his mouth pooled. “I did not mean to bump into so harshly.”
A captured peasant girl? A pet of this monkey kings?
“Oh no it was my fault!” The women said. She finally looked up and the tiger demon got a good look at the curve of her throat. The hot pulse just inches from his fangs.
From further down the corridor someone called “PEACHES!” The girl stiffened a bit then smiled sheepishly.
Zira felt as if he was a wolf in the sheep pen.
“I should have been watching where I was going. Carry on!” She bowed and then quickly scuttled off.
“Well well well…”Zira smiled to himself as another monkey ran past and after the fleeing women. He felt his grin widen, the drool threatening to slip. “Look like I have some entertainment myself…”
For Zari, The Nine Tiger Demon- Lord of the Eastern Waste and Terror of the Snowy Steppes, was whispered and feared by mortals across his snowy slice of the world. Legends told of how he would slip in as silent as a ghost. How he would visit families and paint their walls in red crimson and spattered gore. For Zari was a man eater, a enjoyer of mortal flesh. And his favorite prey that he enjoyed devouring most was women.
This conquest just got a bit more interesting.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
“I Demand compensation.”
The threat would have come off more terrifying from the Monkey King if he had been dressed in his armor. However he was… not. Instead Wukong was at the present moment, begging on Peaches lap beneath a cherry tree. His face was a storm cloud as he lifted Peaches hands up to his head.
“I am afraid you won’t be getting any.” Peaches let her hand fall limply off. The stormy face broke into a beggars crocodile tears.
“PEACHESSSS!”
Macaque would have snickered at his sworn brother begging but he was also not getting any sort of touches from Peaches. He didn’t know why she had decided today of all days to deny both of them.
Why was she withholding scratches from her husbands? Well. For many reasons. For one, one of them startled her awake this morning by swooping her into his arms because he got a little too excited and woke her from her dreams. It also triggered a huge sort of panic because she has had enough of nightmares on being snatched away thank you.
Of course telling the one begging at her knees right now that his over exuberance this morning had been one of the reasons for no pats, would only lead to more exuberance.
A second reason she was including both and not just the one who scooped her ? Well because the day before Macaque thought it would be funny to pop one of his shadows beneath her while she was trying to brush her hair and in the fall the hairbrush - still tucked into her hair- wrenched. It had been painful and she had lost several bits of her own hair in it.
And thirdly? Because these two had, for all intensive purposes of the words, kidnapped her and forced her to live here upon the mountain. Yes she was still bitter about it. No she wouldn’t get over it. At least not today. Too many tricks were tugged and her personal space breached for her to simply let it go. A little bodily autonomy and boundary would be nice. Instead her two lovers would look at her as one would a family cat and go “awwwwwwww!” and scoop her up.
So two very peeved simians sat cross legged staring her down. Wukongs tail was lashing back and forth, his eyes narrowed like a cats. He reached forward and grabbed Peaches hand again. She had learned long ago that giving them the satisfaction of her resistance- how cute! They would say as she practically threw all manner of pellmell closet clutter at them- would only prolong their inevitable smothering of her.
Being impassive was her best weapon.
So she let her hand be limply lifted.
Just as limply it slid off the Monkey Kings head.
“Peaches! Come on!” Wukong groaned. He sounded like a kid begging for sweets. Peaches sniffed. The day was nice at least. She had made her way out of Water Curtain Cave and out onto the mountainside before her attendant could shove and stuff her into royal courtly attire. Not today! Peaches hadn’t wanted to attend court. She hadn’t wanted to be near that council room. Her accidental bump into that demon had been as close as she had gotten. A tiger demon? Now that was something she hadn’t seen yet.
Wukong laid himself over her lap, his face pouting up at her. He looked… adorable. It was almost enough for her to forget about his transgression this morning. It wasn’t enough. She turned her head away.
Only for Macaque to be there. He had somehow snuck up, as was his silent way, and pressed himself to her back. He slipped her into his lap, and Peaches felt a little spark of unease. Macaque was the slower of the two when it came to affection, sneaking it in or trying to tease it from her. Wukong was all action and joyful tugs and play. His was earnest and forward. Macaque was… sly. Teasing. A fox inside the chicken house.
“Sweet peach, come now.” His hands settled around her. His breath tickled the shell of her ear and Peaches fought the blush from rising in her face. Think of rocks and birds. What you will eat tonight. Anything but how his voice and how it feels rumbling against me.
“We just want to have a little comfort.” The dark furred monkey lifted her hand. He entwined his fingers in hers. They were so large. The practically swamped her own. The claws slide along the fingers as he lifted her hand and tugged it into his fur onto his cheek.
“Come on, little plumb.” His smile was as sweet as honey, as soft as downy feathers. If it had been any other day she would have mussed his fur and teased him back. However Macaque made a mistake of touching her hair with a free hand. Reminding Peaches that this little trickster had yanked some of her hair out.
She let her hand remain lax.
“No.”
“Then you leave both of us no choice.”
Macaque leaned back and with a woosh and gasp of air and black- they were back in their room. The pillow pit cushioned their fall, as did Macaque who lay beneath her. Peaches let out an indignant squeak as the demon monkey growled playfully in her ear.
“You have only a few moments before Wukong gets here. Do you want to tell me what’s up?”
“No.” Peaches sniffed. His hand was trailing along her skin, almost walking up her arm.
“Are you mad at him?” Macaque asked.
“Yes”
“Are You mad at me?”
“Yes.”
“Is it … a mad kind of day?”
She didn’t respond.
He tutted and tugged her hands free of where she had shoved them beneath her arms. He placed one against the side of his head, eyes gently closing. He kissed her palm, her wrist, her arm.
“Come on my sweet… just indulge us both..”
“No.”
“Little minx.” The purple eyes flashed along with that sharp toothed smile. Peaches felt her face flush. Macaque leaned in and over her now, his free hand twining in the hair on the back of her neck. The demon was angling her from being the one on top, to sliding her into the pillow pit with the dark haired monkey hovering above. He pulled her up and into him, and Peaches had the startling realization that she was so very very small and he was so very very large all of a sudden.
“What sins do I have to whisper into your ears ? What marks should I leave upon your skin to earn your affection again?” His eyes dipped to her lips. Peaches face felt like it was afire. “Should I sing your praises into your skin with my teeth?”
Oh dear.
And then the moment of tension was broken by a furious orange blur bursting into the room and tackling both of them. Peaches cried out while Macaques face looked deadpan at his sworn brother. The moment of tension, of turning Peaches pink as a lychee fruit, was over.
“MACAQUE! THATS NOT FAIR!” The monkey king was entangled with both of them as he grabbed the other hand and shoved it into his fur. Peaches only held onto them now as they jostled her. “HOW MANY HEADSCRATCHES DID YOU GET?”
“None…” His face was exasperated, his tail twitching at the tip.
“None?” Wukong echoed.
“None!” Macaque slammed his head closer to Wukong. Peaches was perfectly sandwiched between her husbands very bare and very exposed chests as the two brothers bristled at each other. She was loosing her own power of wills because … well. Peaches was only human. She could barely stay mad at one Monkey half dressed. Two half dressed and practically pressed cheek to pec against either side of your face ? It was a marvel her body didn’t burn up on the spot from how much she was blushing.
“Why you shouting at me then?!”
“You spoiled my sport before I could tease some out of her.”
“Oh?” Wukongs eyes shot downward. Peaches looked away, feeling like she got caught watching.
Oh no.
The two demons looked down on her. And Peaches felt like she was in danger. Not a you-will-die-and-be-disemboweled way. More of you-will-be-turned-into-a-second-sun-from-how-much-we-will-tease-you kind of way. They loomed over their mortal wife, ears perked forward and grins becoming sharp and feral.
Another burst through the door however saved Peaches from being turned into a puddle beneath the attentions of her husbands.
“Ugh what is it now?” Macaque sighed.
“My King! We are under attack!”
The two warlords changed from flirting devils to stiff and immovable stones as they stood. Macaques ears swished, forward and back, each set twitching as he confirmed it.
Wukong was across the room, his armor back on his body in a flash. His staff was plucked free from his ear, elongating in a flourish.
“Where?” The Sages voice was a silent rumble.
“Off the south slope- a band of panthers by the look of it.” The sentry’s tail was puffed in fear. Wukong nodded and was off in a flash of fur and fury.
Someone was attacking the mountain? They must be crazy. Insane. Or have a death wish.
Macaque set Peaches firmly in the Pillow pit, eyes somber.
“Love don’t move. Don’t leave this room. Understand ?” His face was pinched in worry bordering on fury. He was trying to maintain his composure for her, to hold back the anger that was threatening to bubble upward. Peaches may think of her boys a lot of way. They were selfish when they wanted her attention. They had taken her away reluctantly from her home. She had been forced to live her for the past decade or so. Her husbands were warlords, murderers and Demons.
They also cared for her a great deal, in a way that no mortal could compare. They clothed her in the finest garb but also gave her the option of comfort. They brought her to the Palace and laid laws down among the fellow demonic ally’s that she was to be respected and treated as an extension of Wukong and Macaques power. They brought her gifts from the outside world when they came back from expeditions, made her foods from the finest ingredients, told her stories of their travels. On nights when the past came back to rear it’s head she could find comfort in one or both of their arms.
And at times like this, she felt thankful that, of all the kidnapping creatures in the world, at least it had been these two.
That didn’t sound like a plus at all.
Macaque was waiting for her response. Peaches shook herself free of the cobwebs, of the past and back into the present. The mountain was under fire. Something was trying to earn the ire of the Monkey King and his People. As a very soft once mortal immortal now, Peaches had no sort of power to defend with or help. She was a liability, at least until she began her own cultivation, on the battlefield. So Peaches nodded.
“Yes.”
It was all Macaque needed. He pressed a kiss to her temple and whispered “Good girl.”
And he was gone, falling into shadow.
“Hellooooo?”
Peaches started awake at the voice. Disoriented she disentangled herself from the soft fur and pillows she had been wedged between. She must have fallen asleep some time in the day. The light coming from the windows was a burnished gold, sunset settling on the
“Someone help! Help me please…”
The voice was disjointed, the sound echoing from beyond the closed doors. It set her skin to crawling. Shouldn’t there be guards ? Shouldn’t there be someone outside the doors?
“HELP. SOMEONE HELP!”
The voice sounded like a baby! The shrill high note cut through the last hesitation Peaches had. She opened the door and rushing out into the corridor.
The echos of her footfalls bounced back to her from the stone walls. The cry came again, a baby monkey hooting in distress. It came from around corridors, downs passageways. Peaches raced forward until she had burst out of the cavern and into the dying light of the sun.
The grass swayed in the breeze. The shadows danced across the field, like stripes on a great tigers back.
She felt a shiver go up her spine. Something was terribly wrong. It felt off - the world felt off. The mountain was usually brimming with life and sound. Birds would be calling even at this late hour when day turns to night. The cicadas would be sonorously screaming their complaints to the night air. However…
Everything was still. Not a insect nor a bird called out. There were no generals or other monkeys present on the mountain. Usually sentries were littered about the fields and slopes. There was no one here at this moment.
That’s wrong. Completely wrong…
A faint gurgle, a dying cry of a baby monkey from somewhere just ahead.
“Where are You?” Peaches called. The child sounded in pain- and the sooner she got them inside the cave, the better. “You have to tell me where you are so I can help you.”
“Typical mortals.” The voice came from behind and peaches whipped around. A tiger demon, a creature of immense size and with terrifying teeth, toward behind her. Zira held the languid look of a cat with a full belly, tail swaying in the grass and claws meticulously being groomed. The blood from those long claws was the fresh scarlet of new blood.
“Your kind always come when lured by another— I was wondering if I should do a human baby or a mortal imitation but, seeing as you’ve been collared and tamed by monkeys, I thought that would be the easiest way to lure you out.” The tiger lord grinned. Peaches saw that he was fully armored. The black leather of his body was painted in dark splotches of red.
He’s … killed people. Who has he killed?? Where’s the baby ??
Peaches stepped cautiously back into the grass, heart racing. The tiger lords eyes grew round.
“Are you trying to run?” His voice was practically a pur as he stood straighter. “Please do. The chase will be good for me and clear this monstrous smell of ape blood.”
“What do you want?” Peaches needed to stall. To find a way to keep the beast talking. He liked to talk to full the silence. “Why are you here?”
“Those are boring questions dear morsel. Boring indeed. You mortals think all the same- but at least you taste better then your little brains think.” Zira stepped forward and into Peaches bubble- forcing her backward and further away from the cave. “Why am I Here ? Well to play. It’s been so long since I’ve had a chance to play with another demons pet.”
Another slow pace forward. Another hasty retreat from Peaches.
“I can understand. I play rough. It’s hard when you all … scream at the slightest break of bone. At the sudden loss of limb…” the tiger lords body seemed to grow, a secondary face appearing from its left cheek. The new muzzle opened and in horror peaches heard people crying, of mortal women begging for their children. The voices of men pleaded for wives and sons and daughters. Anguished cries, cries of pain. Voices from the past.
Dead voices.
“They never last long.” The tiger smirked, that new face along his left side turning upward as well.
“So when I came to see this terrifying demon lord who has challenged heaven I expected him to have a show of strength. What I didn’t expect was a pet like you.” Those eyes flashed.
“Why? Wukong is the strongest Why—“
“Why did I not expect you?” Zira snorted. “Because demons forget themselves when they stop consuming lesser beasts and start befriending them.”
Peaches looked about her. She wouldn’t be able to make a dash back to the caves. This tiger was driving her further and further from safety. She had been a fool to try and help, a damned fool. The next best thing she could do was to try and stay alive long enough. Long enough for her to call out. Wukong or Macaque would hear her. She had no doubt on that. There was also the willow tree just ten feet behind her. If she could get to it and climb she may be able to stall out this demon.
“Now dear. How would you like to die?” The tiger was closer now as Peaches kept stepping back. She was almost back pedaling, trying to stay out of the range of those claws. Of those red teeth. “I could kill you by fang or claw. Or maybe a sword would be better. But then… where’s the fun in it for me if you die so quickly ?”
Peaches spun on her heel and ran.
“HELP!” Her lungs filled with more air, to shout to the Heavens above. The grasses bent beneath her flight. She had almost made it to the tree, almost got enough air to scream again when something slammed into her shoulder. Bright hot pain bloomed and she fell to the dirt. Her hands reached up and came away with sticky blood.
“Calling for help is useless.” Zira licked the fresh blood clean from his claws, enjoying the taste of terror on his tongue. “My men have them busy against the farthest side of the mountain.”
Peaches rolled, to get up to get away she did not know. Her movement was stopped by a booted heel to her shoulder. The new pain elicited a scream to peak from her lips. It rang eerily off the mountain that was so still. So awfully still.
“The pain will only be temporary.” Zira knelt. The tiger reached down with his clawed hands. He cupped her face as she fought him. He smiled and opened his jaws wide to close over her throat.
The suns last dying ray cast a shadow as black as night over the grassy floor. It pooled beneath the mortal women and then, with a slip and tug, Ziras prey was swallowed by the black. The tiger snarled claws raking the soil in a vain attempt to dig her back out.
“So it was you.”
Zira turned.
There, leaning against his staff was the Monkey King. His clawed hands and golden armor were covered in black blood. Zira felt a worm of unease creep into his calm and cocky smile. Those warriors had been the best of his Claw- the best in the Snowy Steppes. There was no way they had failed—
“Ah King Wukong!” The tiger Lord began. If he could stall him out, lead him into a false sense of security, then that would be better. It would buy him time to get closer, to steal into range and pounce. “So nice to see you agai—-“
The tiger lord didn’t even see the moment. On second the orange monkey was standing before him and the next he felt a blooming pain cut along his secondary face. He roared in confusion as the sight from those eyes was lost in a shower of blood. The tiger had no time to reorient himself however. The neck blow was to one of his hands. Sun Wukong clasped one in hand and with a terrible crunch, shattered all the bones within.
Panic came traipsing up the tigers spine. This was not good. The monkey was moving incredibly fast - too fast- for him to counter. He reached for his Scimitar- the blade of Nine Tigers- to end the fight. This blade could cut mountain in half- it could cleave souls from bodies and leave the flesh whole.
“You come to my mountain…”
The staff slammed into the side of his head, casting several of the tigers teeth from his jaws. He was unbalanced but determined. He just had to grab his sword —
“You attack my home…”
Another blow to his middle sent him slamming into the willow tree. The force of it snapped the bark and collapsed the Willow behind him. Zira felt stars float in his vision, tasted his own blood. He had a hand on his sword now though. He drew the blade, cutting it across the insolent ape that towered over him. Wukongs soul would be cleaved, his body left behind for the flies to lay eggs in. He would be dead. The blade sliced —
And snapped in half.
“You tried to devour my wife…” Fear is not something a tiger experienced often. It raced over his stripes, twitched his crushed whiskers, and made his eyes widen. That had been his wife ? That common little dustmote ? Zira had miscalculated. A pet was one thing. But a wife —
“You took… a mortal… as a wife? Pa—“ Zira tried for bravado, tried to spit into the monkey lords face. The tiger was desperately clinging to what remained of his pride. He had chased a rabbit into a ravine and found wolves.
Zira opened his jaws to cast his last disrespect. Only for the claws of Wukong to cut along his jaw and crush it closed before he could finish.
“I will break every bone in your body before I let you die. You will wish you were dead before I’m done with you.”
The shadows swallowed Peaches and arms wrapped around her but she was still flailing. She grabbed at fur and skin and battered her fists and nails against it.
“Ow - PEACHES - PEACHES ITS ME!” Macaque voice cut over the adrenaline that floated high and fast in her blood. She blinked at him. They were back in their room, back inside Water Curtain Cave. Peaches hand was still curled in a fist, still raised up to beat along her captors face. Only. This wasn’t the tiger anymore. It was Macaque.
“It’s just me.”
“I’m not dead am I?” What stupid words to say but it was the first thing her numb mind could think on.
“What? No.” Macaques face was a sea of worry lines as he gently turned her shoulder to him. The blood was sopping beneath the cloth of her shirt. He gave it a sniff and murmured in soothing tones. Mostly to himself. “But I’m concerned for your shoulder. Let’s get that looked at alright ?”
Peaches nodded. Macaque used his claws to rip free the ruined cloth of the shirt and gain better access to the claw marks.
“It’s an ugly scratch but nothing deep.” She felt his hands, paper soft press along the skin. She hissed at the fiery pain as damaged nerves and sore skin protested. “Peaches you will have to be brave for me and let me stich it closed ok?”
She nodded. Her mind was still processing the events just moments ago. Of tiger teeth flashing to bite her throat. Of claws cutting her skin. Macaque returned to her and tugged her into him. She didn’t protest. Didn’t stop as he pulled her hand up to his face. She twined her fingers into the fur, needing the grounding almost, if not more, then he did. Macaque made soothing chirps and soft noises as he worked, pulling needle through flesh and closing it up.
It was only after a time, when Peaches own fear began to fall away, that he asked her.
“Why did you leave the room Peaches ?”
“I heard … it sounded like one of the babies Mac.” One of the little monkey babies all alone and crying for help. The haunting sound echoing off the stone and always just out of reach. “One of the littles in pain and hurt. I didn’t think. I just … acted.”
“Mmm.” Another stich pressed into her skin and she flinched. “You know this means you will have to have a day guard now yes?”
“Are you putting more restrictions on me after I almost got devoured ?” It was a bad attempt at humor but Peaches tried anyway. Whenever something happened to her - if it was an imagined insult from a courtier, a threat to her life because she tried something new and it didn’t agree with her- the boys would set new limits, new conditions. Macaque scowled at her and she bit her tongue from adding to the humor.
“Precautions. If I hadn’t heard you—“ His voice chocked at the end. Peaches looked back. Macaques ears were all low, dropping like flower petals. For all their faults, for their transgressions in taking her choices from her, they loved her. Peaches could see that love in Macs eyes as he imagined the possible outcomes that could have happened. She twirled her fingers around s patch of his fur, soothing him and herself with the confirmation that this was the reality now and not those flashing teeth.
“We can’t loose you Love. I — we — we were so afraid.” When Macaque had heard the strangled help in the heat of battle he had stopped. He had felt his heart give a lurch and Wukong had been of like mind. That battle was practically won. Between the two sworn brothers, nothing much could stand in their fury. But hearing Peaches— Peaches who they left back safe in their room, in the palace, calling for help—
“I was too.”
“When I tell you to stay inside - stay inside. Understand?”Anger laced Macaques words as he pinned her with a look.
“Yes.” It wasn’t good enough though. Not for him. It wouldn’t be for Wukong. The next time the mountain was under attack—if there was a next time— Macaque would lock the doors and the windows. He would shudder the room in shadow if he had to. But. A yes for now was the best he would get from her.
“Good. That’s all the chewing out I’ll give you because when Wukong gets here he’s going to have some very harsh words with you.” Peaches shoulders flinched a little.
“He’s mad at me?” There was genuine hurt and dismay in her voice. Wukong and Peaches had the toughest days when it came to their relationship. Some days she could forget he had taken her without her consent from all she knew- had wiped her village clear off the map. Other days she only saw the blood soaked Warlord in all his fury. On those days arguments ensued and the kings mood was ever sour.
“Never mad at You.” Macaque reassured. Wukong never was genuinely upset at their peach. How could he be when he was enamored with her so? Macaque couldn’t even keep his own anger at her negligence of self after todays events. All she had to do was look at him with that puppy dog look and he was wanting to tease and soothe her into smiles and comfort. “Never. Afraid for your life ? Absolutely. He has half a mind to keep you indoors from now on.”
“He said that ?”
“As we were racing to come get you yes.” Macaque finished the stitches with a pull and tug. The cord came free in his claws. He set about binding cotton gauze around the area to protect the stitches. In the morning he would let them breathe.
“But I think if you let him coddle you for a few days and you agree to a guard, he won’t take your outside privileges away.” Macaque teased and gave advice. Wukong could get a bit … territorial when it came to their Peach. He understood how important it was to give some sort of semblance of freedom to her. Peaches was like a flower- she needed light and air to thrive. If Wukong took that away, he wouldn’t like how she would wilt. Even though Macaque himself had half a mind to keep her inside forever. Especially after today.
Peaches head brushed beneath his chin suddenly and the monkey was jarred from his thoughts. She was nodding off, fighting sleep. Macaque gathered her up easily and set her into the bed they shared. He took care to arrange the pillows, to settle her into her most favorite blankets and soft things. It was a distraction from the rage that now was bubbling upward. For though Macaque had the calmest demeanor- he was just as bloody and furious as his brotherly counterpart.
“Go to sleep.” He commanded. Peaches yawned, catching the trailing end of his tail.
“You won’t leave me … will you?”
“I will be right here till Wukong gets back.”
It was hours later when Macaque heard his brother step into their rooms. Wukong had bathed and cleaned himself elsewhere from the smell of the water and floral oils coming off of him. They both knew how Peaches had an aversion to the scent of blood. The monkey king was across the room and hovering over the pillow pit where she slept.
“How is she?” Wukong asked. All the rage had gone from him. Only worry remained. His tiny little wife… he could still see the Tiger hovering above her, his jaws parted wide over her throat to devour. It made Wukong wish to break his muzzle again.
“Worn out. The cuts are superficial at best. I stitched them up.” The sheen of white medical gauze and cotton took over one lovely shoulder of Peaches back. Wukong felt his teeth beginning to grit in a threatening smile.
“Why would she go outside?! Peaches isn’t a fool.”
“And she wasn’t one.” Macaque soothed. He was standing now that Wukong was here, making his way to the door slowly. “She went outside because she heard the bastard imitate a baby cry.”
“A baby?”
“She thought it was one of the babies.” Wukongs heart gave a shudder. Of course she would throw caution to the wind. His Peaches loved the children of the mountain almost as much as he himself did. “Peaches said she went out to look and that’s when he leapt at her.”
Wukong felt a bit of his anger ebb. He was never angry at Peaches. He could never be. But anger around how she acted ? … yes. That was a possibility. Hearing how she didn’t go out until she thought it was a baby- well. He couldn’t fault her for that.
“The sentries are dead.” Wukong had come across their bodies after restraining the tiger demon. Seeing his peoples cut throats and crumpled bodies had not soothed his anger. He hoped the tiger healed quickly enough so he could repay them for each of his peoples lives. “The tiger killed them. He thought he could kill me by swinging his fancy sword. Too bad it snapped on the first try.”
“Did you leave him alive?” Macaque was at the door now, his fists uncurled.
“He’s somewhere beneath us in a wet cave. I broke all the bones in his body. But … I Left the tail for you.”
“Good.” The door opened and his brother was gone.
Wukong stared at Peaches as she slept for a moment. He had almost lost her today. He half wanted to wake her up and shake her and the other half just wanted to keep her tucked away and safe inside the mountain. Wukong would pull promises and such from her tomorrow. In fact, he may have to teach her some basic self defense. She would never be able to stop a full demonic beast. It would ease his mind however - it would sooth him and settle the fur that kept rising along his back- if she at least had an understanding of what tricks and traits demons used to tempt food out of hiding.
Wukong slid into the nest, settling himself so he didn’t jostle her awake. Tomorrow he could sit her down and tell her the new precautions he would have to merit out. A new guard, lessons in defense, maybe even a copy of him nearby or in the shape of some common item… Wukong could gift her a hairpin each morning and do her hair with a copy of himself. A magical copy that would have ears out for any mischief she may wind up falling into.
It would give her the illusion of freedom without telling her I put a spy on her person. That made Wukong feel better. For the next few days however, she wasn’t leaving his side. He didn’t care if she cried out or pouted or started to throw things. They had almost lost her.
Peaches half woke with a start as Wukong adjusted the blankets about her. Her face came upward, staring and trying to see all about.
“Wukong?”
“It’s just me… you can go back to sleep.”
To his astonishment Peaches shifted, settling herself into his chest. Wukong welcomed her tangle, twining has hands into her hair as she tugged on his fur. Her cheek was pressed to his chest where his heart must be hammering beneath. The Monkey king made soothing chirps and soft calls to her, a reassurance of safety and care. Soon enough her fingers relaxed again as she fell into sleep.
He kissed her temple and nose, twirling his fingers through her hair. It was just as soothing for him as it probably was for her.
Wukong was glad the tiger had been able to survive him. He couldn’t wait to gift his pelt to her when he was finished with him.
If Macaque didn’t kill him after all.
364 notes · View notes
sidedished · 2 months
Text
stardew valley mods
hi! 👋🏻 listing down all the mods for my current sdv save, will do my best to update this list as i play!
✧ stardew valley 1.6 (with sve) ✧ mac mini (m1) ✧ updated 04.10.24
always double check the requirements before downloading mods! feel free to ask me questions, i'll do my best to help! 🫶🏻
📝 prerequisites
✧ smapi ✧ content patcher ✧ json assets ✧ spacecore ✧ alternative textures ✧ expanded preconditions utility ✧ farm type manager (for sve) ✧ mail framework mod (for life cycle)
🎮 gameplay
✧ dying grandpa intro retexture ✧ event expansion ✧ life cycle ✧ romantic love letters ✧ stardew valley expanded + grandpa's farm
👩🏻‍🌾 farmer & characters/npc a lot of my JA clothes don't work since the 1.6 update, so i may temporarily move to using FS until i get JA clothing to work in game. keeping these on the list regardless!
✧ alternate dusty portraits ✧ coii's girl sets ��� cozy scarves (fs) ✧ customizable baby and children ✧ fashion sense ✧ gh's peach body type ✧ rural outfitters (fs) ✧ seasonal improved leo ✧ the coquette collection (fs) ✧ yomi's retro colored dress (fs) ✧ baechu's seasonal outfits + slightly cuter aesthetic seasonal outfits (i'm using a combination of baechu's and poltergeister's portraits and sprites so unfortunately i can't share an accurate link for this) ✧ baechu's seasonal outfits (sve) + slightly cuter aesthetic seasonal outfits for sve (same for this one!) ✧ beom mung's shirts & pants (beom mung has since changed their id, so i can't share an accurate link for this) ✧ delloti's daily pants set ✧ delloti's daily shirt set (ver. 2) ✧ delloti's hats set ✧ delloti's look ✧ the teddy edit
🐥 animals & livestock
✧ elle's cuter dogs ✧ elle's new barn animals ✧ elle's new coop animals ✧ elle's new horses ✧ elle's town animals
🏠 house interior/furniture
✧ aimon's fancy farmhouse ✧ aimon's tidy cozy ginger island farmhouse ✧ cozy farmhouse kitchen ✧ dustbeauty's industrial furniture (at) ✧ elle's kitchen replacement ✧ futan bear (at) ✧ greenhouse set (at) ✧ guxelbit's furniture (at) ✧ mi's and magimatica country furniture ✧ nano's retro style furniture (at) ✧ redesigned shed layout ✧ rustic country walls & floors ✧ seasonal open windows (at) ✧ suitcase record player ✧ tile kitchen & dining set ✧ too many swatches (lite) ✧ warm cozy fireplaces ✧ west elm furniture by atlas (at)
🌱 farming/craftable retextures
✧ chest deco (at) ✧ dshi food retexture ✧ fancy artifacts retexture ✧ fancy artisan goods retexture ✧ fancy crops & foraging retexture ✧ fancy fish & tackles retexture ✧ fancy trash & resources retexture ✧ firefly torch ✧ forest wood craftables (at) ✧ gwen's lamps ✧ nano's garden style craftables (at) ✧ nyangcarecrow ✧ terracotta garden pots ✧ wallet items retexture ✧ warp totems to magic book tomes
🧸 aesthetic/map
✧ daisyniko's earthy recolour ✧ daisyniko's recolor fix for sve ✧ dustbeauty's country town interior ✧ elle's seasonal buildings ✧ elle's town buildings ✧ ellie's seasonal paths & flooring ✧ interiors of pelican town ✧ molamole's seasonal mailbox (at) ✧ more grass ✧ seasonal special order board retexture ✧ simple foliage ✧ wildflower grass field
🎨 ui
✧ cozy accent interface ✧ custom menu background ✧ farmer 2.0 ESWF looks ✧ farmer portraits ✧ generic mod config menu ✧ script font
🌻 quality of life
✧ cjb cheats menu ✧ cjb item spawner ✧ cjb show item sell price ✧ lookup anything ✧ noclip mode ✧ npc map locations ✧ ui info suite
69 notes · View notes
gxthicupid · 13 days
Text
𝗟𝗘𝗚𝗢 𝗠𝗼𝗻𝗸𝗶𝗲 𝗞𝗶𝗱 𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗢𝗥𝗜𝗘𝗦 + 𝗣𝗥𝗘𝗗𝗜𝗖𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡𝗦
𝗡𝗘 𝗭𝗛𝗔 𝗔𝗚𝗘 𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗢𝗥𝗬
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I know this theory has been talked about a lot, but I would like to put my own thoughts and opinions about Ne Zha’s age. Of course, Ne Zha died at the age of 12, yet in the series; considered to be a somewhat spin-off/sequel to the Journey to the West novel, he appears to be physically an adult.
Understandably, some people wanted to defend the idea of Ne Zha physically and mentally grown since Journey to the West by using other country’s beliefs of Ne Zha depicted as an adult, however, other countries still depict Ne Zha as a child, and the crew for LEGO Monkie Kid revealed he was canonically a child during Season 4, Episode 5 “The Court of the Yellow-Robed Demon”. This leaves to the question of how he managed to appear older. 
I have been pondering on the idea for quite some time, and while going through several posts of people’s headcanons, references from other media depicting the other characters from Journey to the West, I have come to a conclusion. 
To support this theory, I will be using Macaque as an example to answer the mystery behind Ne Zha’s sudden ageing in LEGO Monkie Kid. It has become abundantly clear Macaque has a missing eye, and in the Season 3, Episode 8, “Benched”, while trying to retrieve the third Samadhi Ring from Tang, for a split second, the tip of his tail becomes slightly white. 
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While going through fanart, people often depict Macaque, having glamorised his looks in order to hide his features (i.e., his scarred eye). Saying that, I believe Ne Zha has adapted to glamorise his child form into an adult form, possibly from wanting to fit his mental age physically and feel comfortable. Macaque so far, hasn’t shown his true form for a prologue time, I believe Nezha can hold his adult form without any difficulty. 
𝗠𝗞’𝗦 𝗠𝗢𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗥 𝗠𝗢𝗥𝗔𝗟𝗜𝗧𝗬 𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗢𝗥𝗬
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Season 5 of LEGO Monkie Kid is bound to show Nuwa, or MK’s supposed mother, on the show. Most people are wanting Nuwa to be a loving and caring mother, however, I do not believe that will be the case considering the direction the show is taking on MK’s backstory.
In the Season 4 special “Emperor’s Wrath”, the Kings of Hell in the Underworld are shown to be devising a plan for the upcoming events for Season 5, and personally, I believe Nuwa will be some sort of secondary villain associated with the main plot in Season 5. 
I am predicting that Nuwa has some strong connections, or at the very least, is acquainted with the Kings of Hell. Perhaps in the past, the Kings of Hell held a grudge against Sun Wukong after erasing his name from the Book of the Dead.
They weren’t able to change the pages since the paper magically link to the people whose names are written, and possibly, recreating a new set of paper will negatively affect the other people’s mortality; which the Kings of Hell are not willing to risk. 
Leading to the Kings of Hell requesting the aid of the creator of humans, Nuwa, since the residents of the Celestial Realm are not going to approve such a dire plan without the approval of the Jade Emperor.
Maybe the Kings of Hell gained Nuwa’s interest throughout a promise with a type of reward at the end of deal, and making her create a lifeform with equal or stronger power than Sun Wukong.
From the flashback in Season 4 Episode 6, “Show Me The Monster'', there were several stone statues of various animals before the creation of MK (hinting there were several attempts to create the perfect lifeform). 
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The idea of creating MK as a mystic monkey probably links to the Journey to the West novel, in the chapter where Macaque shapeshifted into the Monkey King and deceives the other pilgrims; and before the reveal of the Six-Eared Macaque, it was stated that the imposter was close to Sun Wukong’s power level, which, I’m assuming, Nuwa took note.  
Since Season 4 has hinted that Sun Wukong had some sort of connection with MK before he was created, I am predicting that he possibly knew Nuwa as a friend before she became an acquaintance with the Kings of Hell. Nuwa used that relationship as an advantage to analyse his skills and powers, while discussing using Sun Wukong as a pawn to help MK to be trained by the Monkey King, in order for MK to unlock his powers later in life. 
Reasoning why I believe Sun Wukong isn’t aware of Nuwa is supported in the Season 4 special, “Emperor’s Wrath”, when Azure Lion was defeated, Sun Wukong questioned him who set him free from the Scroll of Memory, and Azure Lion had no recollection.
Supporting this theory, judging the age of MK when he first met Pigsy in Season 4, Episode 6, “Show Me The Monster”, he seemed to be around the age of 5 years old, which when he should some remembered of Nuwa or Sun Wukong to some degree, but it’s possibly she must have erased MK’s memories. This might be an ability that she might use in Season 5.  
Nuwa must have deceived Sun Wukong somehow to convince him to protect MK when he proves himself to have potential to become Sun Wukong’s successor, not only to allow MK’s abilities to develop and become stronger, but she might also use MK to spy on the Monkey King from afar.  
To support this theory, I will use the 5th Anniversary LEGO set of Monkie Kid, as Nuwa is seen to be in disguise while running a jade shop in Megapolis. Perhaps she purposely dropped MK off at Pisgy’s Noodles and lived around the city to observe MK and waited until he was ready to wield the staff. Sun Wukong must have done the same, but without the knowledge of Nuwa’s plan with the Kings of Hell (To learn Sun Wukong’s weaknesses for the sake of devising a plan).  
In the pilot episode of LEGO Monkie Kid, “A Hero is Born”, MK needed to deliver some noodles to a customer, but ended up dealing with the Demon Bull Family. Perhaps Nuwa also purposely made MK make the trip so that he can find Monkey King’s staff and allow MK to meet Sun Wukong and start training because Nuwa might have a deadline to finish her end of the deal, before the Kings of Hell will take action in Season 5.
𝗢𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗥 𝗠𝗬𝗦𝗧𝗜𝗖 𝗠𝗢𝗡𝗞𝗘𝗬𝗦 𝗣𝗥𝗘𝗗𝗜𝗖𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡
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Connecting to the last theory, I believe there will be a likely chance that Season 5 will introduce the other mystic monkeys from the Journey to the West novel. Judging from the direction of the LEGO Monkie Kid series, there will be new characters introduced other than Nuwa, considering that Season 5 will focus more on MK’s past, and him learning how to control his monkey powers.
For those who aren’t aware, in the Journey to the West novel, it is canon that there are a total of four mystic monkeys, which includes Sun Wukong (Spirit Intelligent Stone Monkey) and Macaque (Six-Eared Macaque Monkey). 
The other two are known as the Red Butt Horse Monkey and the Pass through Arm Ape Monkey (using the translated names from the Chinese characters).
Since the series does slightly alternate the Journey to the West lore, perhaps the Red Butt Horse Monkey and Pass through Arm Ape Monkey were created before Sun Wukong and Macaque, and the idea of MK being a new mystic monkey existing in the LEGO Monkie Kid show does bring their attention and they will contribute to the main conflict of Season 5 (Perhaps they know much more about the upcoming conflict with the Kings of Hell and MK’s monkey power awakening).
This prediction might be a bit of a stretch, but since MK’s monkey powers will most likely be one of the main focuses for the plot of Season 5, I believe these two monkeys are willing to become an influence; both negatively and positively.
Reasoning for this prediction is connected to the fact that the Red Butt Horse Monkey is known to have the ability to avoid death and lengthen its life, which I believe might lead the show to make an alliance with Nuwa and the Kings of Hell. 
Meanwhile, the Pass through Arm Ape Monkey might be helping MK through his glitching when it comes to his monkey form, and might have more knowledge about dealing with  MK’s problem than Monkey King.
To support this theory, in Season 4, Episode 7, “Pitiful Creatures”, when Wukong first sees MK’s glitching, he looks like he doesn’t look like he know how to deal this side-effect of unlocking the monkey powers, considering that Sun Wukong and Macaque were already created as monkeys and were able control their powers. 
The Pass through Arm Ape Monkey might have known of MK’s existence through the battle against Azure Lion in the Season 4 special, “Emperor’s Wrath”, as the sky and the whole world was breaking apart, and since the Pass through Arm Ape Monkey can manipulate the moon and stars.
It could be the reason why the Red Butt Horse Monkey told Nuwa and the Kings of Hell about MK’s powers.  
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I don’t have anything else to say about this theory/prediction. However, if the series doesn’t show them, there HAS to be some influence, Easter eggs, etc. connecting to these mystic monkeys.
𝗠𝗜𝗦𝗦𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗗𝗘𝗠𝗢𝗡 𝗕𝗨𝗟𝗟 𝗞𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗕𝗔𝗖𝗞𝗦𝗧𝗢𝗥𝗬 𝗣𝗥𝗘𝗗𝗜𝗖𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡
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Aside from Sun Wukong and Macaque having their pasts explored, the series does have the Demon Bull King appearance in these flashbacks since he was once a member of the Brotherhood, first revealed in Season 4, Episode 2, “New Adventures”, as everyone is discussing who will be the next Jade Emperor after overthrowing the current one.
From this single flashback alone, DBK was shown to be a good guy, fighting alongside his sworn brothers for they thought was right, and it does beg the question: What made him change his morality from good to bad?
In the pilot, Season 1, “A Hero is Born”, he is first introduced as the main antagonist whose goal is to conquer the world, and suddenly Sun Wukong traps him under a mountain despite DBK being his sworn brother. This minor detail is very unusual considering that in Season 3, Episode 10 “The Samadhi Fire”, showcases Sun Wukong, Demon Bull King and Ne Zha helping to separate the Samadhi Fire from Redson as a child.
Judging from this scene, the event must have taken place post to the Journey to the West, as the Monkey King isn’t wearing the circlet, as most of the flashbacks which are taking place in the Journey to the West shows him wearing the circlet given from Tang Sanzang. The pilot does show Sun Wukong wearing the same suit of armour as in Season 3, Episode 10 “The Samadhi Fire”, and it's strange how the Monkey King went from helping the Demon Bull King to fighting him. 
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Either something happened between the events of removing of the Samadhi Fire and the events occurred in the pilot, or off-screen there was some conflict between the two, but set a temporary truce to help Redson with the Samadhi Fire.
The most assumed event that could pinpoint the morality change of the Demon Bull King would be when he and Princess Iron Fan met during the battle against Heaven. However, I highly doubt that. Since this event took place before the birth of Redson, and if Demon Bull King and Sun Wukong didn’t have conflict during this time period, then this accusation would be inaccurate. 
This wasn’t a theory or a prediction, however, I REALLY do feel like talking about this since it’s been bugging me for quite some time. I hope that Season 5 will be able to resolve this plot hole and perhaps it might correlate with the main plot of the next.
While I do hope, I also doubt it since the Demon Bull Family has not had much screen time in recent seasons. But simultaneously, I bet there will be a chance since the new 5th Anniversary LEGO set does display Redson working at the BBQ restaurant in Megapolis, so maybe a slim chance. 
I was going to talk about Peng and Erlang working together in Season 5, considering the current conflict with the Monkie Gang and Peng, and due to the fact that Erlang is a cousin? Brother? Or a family member of the Jade Emperor according to the Journey to the West novel, and wanted to avenge his death.
(Probably ignore this one, this was a last minute theory)
But I didn’t know what else to talk about and it does seem like the two will be working on their own.  
Anyways, I hope you all enjoy the theories that I have come up with. I haven’t gotten the chance to re-watch all of the episodes of LEGO Monkie Kid, so I mostly relied on my memory. Leave some comments about your thoughts and theories of the series or what will happen in Season 5.    
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forbidden-sunlight · 8 months
Text
yandere!dark schneider with shinobu!reader headcanons
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Warnings: obsessive behavior, isekai!au, manga spoilers, dubious consent, aged up!reader (reader is in early twenties), Lucien and Yoko are 17-18 years old, violence, and blood.
There may also be possible triggers in this story.
If you do not feel comfortable venturing any further, please hit the 'back' button on your device or computer and read something much more pleasant than a possible series of unfortunate events.
Hey guys, welcome to these headcanons, featuring the handsome, arrogant wizard Dark Schneider of the Netflix's anime series Bastard!! Heavy Metal, Dark Fantasy and the character!reader who is Shinobi Kocho from the beloved world of Demon Slayer aka Kimetsu no Yaiba! :)
Special thanks to @anniespostssworld for helping me bounce back ideas and scenarios that would work best for these headcanons, so this dedicated to them and to all of the other fellow Bastard!! fans.
If you haven't seen either of these shows, I highly recommend them as to me, they are well worth watching and give me a good laugh after a particularly long day at work. Please bear in mind that Bastard!! might not be suited for everyone and does have some moments that may not be ideal for photosensitive viewers.
If you would like to see a fluffier version of these headcanons, I will leave a link to them here.
If you'd like me to write more for the Bastard!! world just let me know in a comment or message.
So with that being said, sit back, relax, and let's dive into this world of heavy metal rock, magic, and utter mayhem :)
Although you will never get used to being dressed up like this, the dark leathers that were strapped across your body protected you from the chilly morning air. 
Draped in colors ranging from chocolate brown to soft tan, your legs were covered by dark pants and knee-high buckled boots. The upper half of this outfit consisted of a double-layered tunic that was lighter shade than the top layer, an onyx-dyed vest, with an iron breastplate. The sleeves were usually pushed up to your elbows, keeping your hands free to work uninhibitedly, though when working with herbs or chemicals, your fingers would be protected by a pair of dark gloves. Pinned to the back of your head was a butterfly-shaped barrette. Hanging around your neck was a frayed reminder of the life you once had; the tattered remains of your sister’s white butterfly patterned haori, that still carried the scent of wisteria and the longing to be wrapped up in Kanae’s arms just one more time.   
It was hard to believe today marked the five-year anniversary since your arrival in the kingdom of Meta-llicana. Here in this world, you were not the Insect Hashira who had died in battle against Douma but an apothecary who worked under the royal family. You navigated through the intricate spider-web of the aristocracy and politics who stared at you in contempt or envy for being a ‘self made commoner’ with a polite smile and wave of your hand. When there was silence in the castle, you read yellowed scrolls and brittle-paged texts alike over candlelight, trying to expand on your pharmaceutical knowledge in this world with what you currently knew as the primary healer of the Demon Slayer Corps. 
Those nerves of steel were exceptionally helpful when a plague swept over this country from the West and you were arguing with stubborn medical practitioners who believed they were more knowledgeable and experienced than you were to handle the situation simply because of your age and gender.
Ah, it took a lot of self control to refrain yourself from snapping their necks and hiding their bodies~. 
And all of these events occurred within just two years. My, my! 
Between attending to patients and self-studying, you found a blacksmith in town who was willing to take a look at your broken ninichirin blade. Although the pieces were kept together inside a lacquered box that would cost a years’ salary for a farmer, the places you had gone to previously were either booked for the next several months, or did not want to do business with an outsider. He took one look at it and asked you to give him five gold coins, and he’ll fix it in one week. An expensive fee, but you did not see the harm in giving him a chance; after all, he was willingly to give you a chance, so that must mean something in this world, did it not?
Within the promised time frame, not only had he repaired your sword by melting magic stones mined from the nearby mountains and forging it into the existing blade but he had also thrown in a scabbard made from shimmering red dragon scales; light as a feather, but extremely durable and fireproof. That was how you made your fourth acquaintance in this world. 
The first three were High Priest Geo and his two children, Yoko and Lucien, who had found you wandering the outskirts of the kingdom and nursed you back to health. 
If Meta-llicana were to fall into the clutches of the Dark Rebel Army, you could put your life on the line to protect them. Although….was it odd that an eighteen-year-old young man like Lucien Renlen was much shorter than you, or how he still came to the palace before dawn arrived just to help you collect herbs in the forest behind the palace, a sacred area that was only accessible to very few people outside of the royal family? 
Yoko kept teasing you that he finally had a crush on a pretty girl who worked in the palace, but you weren’t amused. You might still be considered much younger than twenty-three because you were still shorter than most of the tall, regal ladies in the palace, Lucien should seek out other girls than the ones he only socializes with. However, you weren’t his caretaker and had no control over his life as Yoko seemingly had as his surrogate sister and a temporary guardian when her father was away from the country.
‘[First Name]!”
Blinking, you looked away from the basket of herbs by your feet and glanced over your shoulder to see Lucien running towards you, red-faced and smiling….holding a fistful of poison ivy instead of the lily of the valley that you asked him to look for since the flowers on your desk were starting to dry up. 
You never would have realized that this simple, innocent boy whom you adored was the reincarnation of humanity’s most evil wizard: Dark Schneider. 
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The dark sorcerer Osborn attacked Meta-llicana with  an army of hobgoblins, werewolves, ogres, and many other monsters. His objective was to remove the kingdom’s sacred magic that sealed away the power of the demon god Anthrasax, no matter the cost. But you nor the knights who were the last line of the castle’s defense would allow such an evil to be reawakened again. 
It had been a good thing that you resumed training in secret as soon as your sword had been fixed. Let others think that the blade strapped to your hip was just for show. After all, there is no better opportunity to reveal your skills than a smoky battlefield~.  
To your mild surprise Bon Jovia, the captain of the knights, did not reprimand nor mock you as you landed gracefully on the blood-soaked ground, incapacitating a frothing werewolf with the Butterfly Dance: Caprice, Illusionary Light. Instead, he thanked you for saving him and his men before pleading for your assistance with keeping the oncoming hordes from getting on the drawbridge. You smiled, saying you were more than happy to oblige…just be aware that you might cause just a little bit of damage to the castle if things get a little tough.
He nodded and barked orders at the men under his command to cover any incoming attacks aimed at you so that you could focus on the bigger, more powerful monsters. Between their formations and Insect Breathing, the creatures did not get on the drawbridge…and yet that son of bitch Osborn managed to get inside the castle through a secret entrance that only the royal family and the priests knew about. 
You felt an ache in the back of your throat. Yoko and Lucien were in the castle, hiding from the madness and now these bastards were coming for them and Princess Sheila. Cursing under your breath, you darted down the flight of underground stairs, brandishing your sword and ignoring the shouting from behind. But as you continued to veer from left to right, following only your instinct and the light of the torches wedged into the stone walls, you heard footsteps behind you. Ara, ara, It seems like you weren’t going into the fight alone, after all.  
One of the knights that was certainly not the captain eventually caught up with you and took the lead, guiding you and the others straight to the statue of the fertility goddess beneath the chapel. But just when the knight carefully and slowly pushed it to the right, there was a sudden scream. He wanted to close it in case there was an enemy close by, but you were not allowing that to happen. Instead, you persuaded him to move the statue just enough to see what was going on. 
And as it turned out, staying hidden was the best choice; because instead of the royal family, or your precious friends being killed by demons, the demons were being slaughtered by a very powerful, and a very naked man with white hair screaming odd words in an extremely loud voice. 
Damned!
Shumega…megadeath
Sodom!
Your eyes widened in shock as torrents of hellfire and lightning erupted from the man’s palms, eliminating the ogres and other demons in a single blow. Although he destroyed them…that bastard had the nerve to eliminate Osborn with a Venom spell, roasting the son of a bitch when you wanted to make him suffer with a vial of an experimental poison hidden in your pocket. 
The knight bursted to the surface when the threat had been eliminated, his comrades following close behind to check on the priests and the royal family. You immediately went to Yoko’s side, pulling her to you and pointing your sword at the mysterious man possessing bushy brows and sharp blue irises who couldn’t keep his hands off of your friend. You smiled at him.
“Ara, ara, you’re quite familiar with Yoko…but I must ask that you refrain yourself from being too familiar with her, unless,” You lowered your blade to his balls. “You’d like for me to permanently remove a part of your anatomy?”
The man stared at you with fear and arousal dancing in those wild blue irises, his hands instinctively covering his precious cargo. Yoko tugged on the frayed edges of your haori. 
“D-Don’t do that, [First Name]! That’s Lucien! Dark Schneider is Lucien!”
You blinked in shock, the smile on your face slowly falling away as you absorbed Yoko’s words. Lucien, the sweet young man….Lucien Renlen was the second identity of the dark wizard, Dark Schneider? There were two identities sharing the same body? What?!
This….this was too much. Crocodile tears threatened to prick the corner of your eyes. How in heaven’s name did this even happen? Why does such a cliche troupe always occur in shounen manga? Wait, why are you thinking like this?! You thought, reluctantly sheathing your blade back into its inky scabbard at your hip. 
Amidst the chaos and confusion, Yoko noticed Dark Schneider leaving the chapel and went after him.
 You wanted to follow her…but there were people here who needed medical attention, whether you liked it or not. Your oath to help those in need kept you from protecting your friend from a potentially dangerous bastard. You just prayed Yoko knew what she was doing. You knew she was strong…but did she have enough magic to protect herself from a capricious man like Dark Schneider? You shook your head, and began tending to one of knights who had been in here protecting the others. 
As it turned out, she didn’t need much protection from Dark Schneider because she had returned less than an hour later to the chapel with Lucien draped in armor and dark clothes twice in size, staring at you in confusion and happiness.  
Yoko’s abbreviated version of events went something like this: To release Dark Scneider, a virgin maiden’s kiss and the recital of a spell called Accept were the requirements. Yoko fulfilled at the behest of the priests, even when three of them had been the ones to leak the blueprints of the castle to Osborn in exchange for their loyalty to the Dark Rebel Army so long as they were spared from the slaughter. But they were the ones that Osborn killed first before he ordered his ogres to attack Princess Sheila and her father, the king of Meta-llicana. 
Dark Schneider got rid of them because he owed a debt to Yoko, tried to leave so he could begin his plans for world domination, but when he gave her a farewell kiss, the dark wizard ended up being sealed up inside Lucien again. 
Well…not what you were expecting, but you were glad that she and Lucien had come back to Meta-llicana unscathed. You had hoped that this would be the first and only time you would cross paths with Dark Schneider. 
Unfortunately, not even a month after Osborn’s assault, another general from the Dark Rebel Army came barrelling through the kingdom with a five-headed hydra. And this time, Yoko did not want to relieve the embarrassment of watching everyone kiss her adopted little brother again. Nor did she want to release Dark Schneider in fear that he would try to kill her father now that he had returned home from his journey in another land. 
Geo had been the one who sealed Dark Schneider inside Lucien as soon as he was reborn, when the war fifteen years ago ended with the wizard’s loss against the deceased crown prince and the older brother of Princess Sheila, Lars Ul Meta-llicana. 
The High Priest scoffed. “It’s a kiss. Stop overreacting.”
“Are you really gonna talk to your own daughter that way?!” Yoko shrieked in the king’s audience chamber as the priests began to panic at the thought that their city, their Meta-llicana, will truly fall into the hands of the Dark Rebel Army unless Dark Schneider was reawakened. You frowned slightly. Geo did raise a valid point in his spiel about the demon god and the Hydra Wizards were, according to some reading you had done on them after the Osborne incident, able to adapt to spells unique to monsters and their summoners. And if you were honest with yourself, which you were….you doubted that you could rally some troops again to help combat this fiend. 
The Hydra is infamous not only for having multiple heads and being able to breathe fire. Its scales were just as durable as a dragon’s, which means that your blade could very well break before it could slice through an artery. 
You smiled through the unease piling up in the back of your throat when you raised your hand. “I’ll do it.” You said. “I’ll perform the ceremony in Yoko’s place. You just need a virgin who knows white magic, yes? I can do some, if only to accelerate healing and create small barriers.” It was true. You had learned a little magic since coming to this world, but you preferred not to use it that often because overexertion can take a toll on the human body. You honestly did not think you could even do such a feat until you unintentionally used it to heal a scrape on Lucien’s knee a year ago. 
Geo blinked, brows furrowing. “Are you sure?”
You nodded. “Mm. It is as you say, a kiss is just a kiss…with the exception of Princess Sheila’s case. If she were to perform the spell instead, then it would be seen as a sign that she takes Lucien as a husband. A kiss in the royal family cannot be given out unless it is in the sacred name of marriage. Or am I wrong, High Priest?”
He shook his head. “You are correct. And we cannot waste time with honor nor matters of purity when the enemy is closing in. Follow my instructions, and we will awaken Dark Schneider.”
You bowed your head. “As you wish.” 
Yoko tried to protest, saying it wasn’t right for you to take on this burden when she is a high priestess-in-training and more qualified to do the Accept spell, but you shook your head.  
“Ara, ara, there’s nothing to worry about. It’s just a kiss. If that is the price to save this kingdom and to protect your honor, then I will do so. Everything will be alright.” You smiled. “Trust me, Yoko.”
You then knelt in front of Lucien, smiling still as you asked him to come sit with you on the carpeted floor. The boy, bless him, followed your instructions without question and blinked, glancing back at Yoko for a brief moment before he refocusing his attention onto you. You reached forward and placed your palm over his own, which rested on his right knee. “Don’t worry, Lucien. Just relax and close your eyes for me, okay?”
He nodded, his face flushing slightly as he followed your request. Geo stood behind you, reciting the words slowly as you leaned forward, cupping Lucien’s cheek with your other hand. 
“Accept this. In the name of Ino Mata, our beloved goddess of beauty, let this seal be broken.” 
With the last syllable spoken, you gently pressed your mouth against the vessel of Dark Schneider’s. 
A torrent of white lightning and black-blue miasma suddenly surrounded Lucien. The seal was broken. The bastard was waking up again to be used as a shield against the enemies of Meta-llicana's ….even when no one has the right to control a living thing, animal or person. 
But when you pulled away, scrambling to put some distance between yourself and the wizard as the transformation began, you were tugged back towards him, your mouth colliding against his again. Fangs and tongue ran along your lips, begging to explore it. You tried to get away, yet your feeble strength did nothing to save you when Dark Schneider bit your bottom lip hard enough to draw droplets of blood and a pained gasp. 
This single moment granted the bastard an opportunity to kiss you senseless, making it last as possible before he pulled away. A string of saliva had been created from this unholy union, the only evidence that the kiss even happened. However, Dark Schneider swallowed its remains in a single gulp, and swiped his rancid tongue over your mouth one more, cleaning up the mess he made as he grinned down at you.
“I knew you couldn’t resist me.” He purred. 
You wanted to punch this son of a bitch. You wanted to cut off his testicles and stuff them in a jar so that he could never reproduce. You wanted him gone, and your Lucien back. Yet why is it…that when this bastard gazes at you, there is an urge to run away and never look back?
That is because from this very moment, you are all that Dark Schneider will want and ever need in the world. When you kissed him, you made him realize as both Lucien Renlen and Dark Schneider that you were the one he really loves, not Yoko. The Great Priest’s daughter might have treated him well over these past fifteen years, but Yoko did not treat his wounds or sneak candy into his pocket with a secretive smile. No matter how much he complained, you were there. You were always there for him.
Now, he will never let you out of his sight. He will cherish and treat you with the respect you had deserved for all you had done for this kingdom, to these ungrateful assholes. And once he has conquered the world, he will make you his queen and the bearer of his children. 
No matter where you go or where you try to hide, he will always find you. 
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