#Which I'm assuming isn't good for planes.

[iero]

In other, good news (For once for me!) my mom and her boyfriend finally agreed to let me carpool with them when we all leave Pittsburgh on Tuesday morning. The bad news is I have to figure out a way that I'm getting to Pittsburgh now last minute because I'll be there longer then them.

#personal #Like I'm coming in on Saturday and they're only coming in on Monday afternoon for a hockey game and then leaving the next morning. #And if I didn't have a tattoo appointment on Monday AND already paid the hotel in full for all my days? #I would have considered just doing the one day myself. #So now I'm sitting here weighing my options. I can either fly in or take the train in... Both have their positives and negatives. #I fucking LOVE taking the train but I don't like the fact that it only puts me in Pitt at like 8 PM at night. #But if I fly in it puts me in Pitt at like 11 in the morning and I would have to find a way to kill 5-6 hours until my hotel check-in. #<- Not to mention I'm like super scared of flying still and it's supposed to be windy here on Saturday. #Which I'm assuming isn't good for planes. #I was just considering making a driving playlist this morning because I thought I was driving the 8 hours total there and back. #Not ANYMORE! Even though I did agree to get behind the wheel for a little bit on the trek back #<- Doubt I will have to though because my mom's boyfriend is like the 'big man' and will NOT let me drive his car.

[rohirric-hunter]

IDK sometimes I really see a disconnect between people hidden in the things we think are obvious.

I keep seeing people reblog a post about how the Boeing whistleblower died under very mysterious circumstances and they keep sharing the version that has somebody at the end of the reblog chain going, "Oh, it's fine, it's only this plane that isn't safe, all the other Boeing planes are really good!" and I'm like that's not the point

The point is: if you believe -- and I'm not saying I do but if you do -- if you believe that Boeing killed someone to keep more information from coming out, or as petty revenge for leaking what he had, then you have seen the extreme to which they will go to protect themselves. And when I say extreme I mean Extreme. This is the most extreme reaction. Like I feel like that person didn't understand what happened. There was a man. He was alive. He was living and breathing and thinking and alive. When he was alone in a room with the door closed and no one was thinking about him he still existed. He was aware of himself and he knew he existed. And now. He doesn't. He's gone. Now when no one's thinking about him he just Isn't. There was something there and now there isn't and Boeing did that. They removed something unique and real and alive from the world.

Assuming, of course, you genuinely believe Boeing killed him.

It's not a matter of whether or not the airplanes are safe. Who the fuck cares if the airplanes are safe. The point is that any individual or group with such a callous disregard for human life ought not to exist. If you truly believe that some higher up at Boeing made the decision to have someone killed to protect their stock prices and yet still choose to give that company any of your money, then what does that say about your regard for human life? Don't you value it? Don't you think that man shouldn't have been killed?

There's also the fact that now that they've shown that they're willing to go to that extreme once, everything they do from here on out is suspect. They are willing to end a human life over this, so what if their old planes were safe when they were inspected? What about maintenance? Do you think they did their due diligence there? What about any future planes they make? Obviously they won't be allowed their own oversight again, but if they'll stoop to murder why on earth would you assume they won't and haven't stooped to bribery, blackmail, and all sorts of underhanded deception to improve their profit margins?

But again, that's secondary. That's not the point. The point is that if you believe that Boeing ended a life on purpose then it doesn't matter how fucking good they used to be or how fucking safe their old planes are. Don't use them. Don't have anything to do with them. For fuck's sake.

[sapphic-agent]

Why is Simon able to see Maddie?

I've been thinking about it for a while, and I think I might have an answer.

*SPOILERS AHEAD*

Let's start with what I don't think it is. I'm 99% sure that it's not because Simon's dying. There's speculation that he has a tumor or undiagnosed cancer causing him to slowly die and that's why he's able to see Maddie. But I have two issues with that:

Why is he only able to see Maddie? If him approaching death is what enables him to see and talk with a ghost, why is that only extended to one ghost? At the very least, wouldn't he have some kind of connection with the other ghosts? Maybe if not outright seeing them, then sensing their presence or something? But he's never given any indication they're there, we've seen that. If he was dying, he'd have a connection to the entire metaphysical plane, not just Maddie.

Why does he only start seeing her at that exact moment in season 1? If he was dying, wouldn't it have been sooner? Maddie was "dead" for three days before Simon saw her. And it was only at this specific time that he was able to do so.

What this tells me is that this isn't possible because of anything from Simon's end. Or, not completely from his end.

To answer this question, we need to look at the only other instance of a living person and ghost interacting. What enabled Maddie to see Janet and Mr. Martin arguing? What allowed Janet to steal Maddie's body in the first place?

I think it's a combination of things. Mr. Martin says to Janet, "What did you feel? You have to tell me." This implies that she did something that was completely unexpected by him. We don't know what it was exactly, but we can assume that it has to do with blurring the lines between life and death even if it was just a little. But I don't think it was just this that allowed Maddie to see her and Mr. Martin.

When Maddie describes her altercation with her mother to Simon, she says very deliberately, "She killed my spirit." Maddie wasn't just feeling upset in that boiler, she was broken. A lifetime of being battered down by her mother's alcoholism and negligence and this was the final straw. She wasn't physically dead at that point, but emotionally she might as well have been.

I think that these two things happening at the same time created a sort of passageway between Maddie and the metaphysical plane. The hollowness Maddie was feeling coincided with whatever Janet had done to blur those lines, and that's how Janet was able to push her soul out.

Now, if I'm right about all of that, what does that have to do with Simon?

Well, remember what Simon said to Ms. Fields, "I don't know how I'm going to survive this place without her." It's important to remember that Simon had a feeling she was dead, or at the very least seriously hurt/in trouble. He accepted the possibility of her being gone as fact, which is why he never questions her being a ghost. It isn't such a stretch to assume that he was feeling the same hollowness that Maddie was concerning her mother.

(This also answers why he was the only one. Sandra and Nicole still believed Maddie was alive, they weren't broken in the way that Simon was. And when Sandra did receive the news that there was a good chance Maddie was dead, she was at home, not the school. So her and Maddie wouldn't have been able to connect the way her and Simon did. Also, Maddie's relationship with her mother is very complicated. They don't have anything close to the bond that her and Simon do)

But like I said above, the connection has to be on both sides. Not only did Maddie watch him have this breakdown and was probably feeling similarly to him in that moment, she also had a tether to the living world; her body. So, the combination of their emotional bond, Simon's emptiness when faced with a world without her, and Maddie still technically being alive allowed them to connect past the limitations of death

#school spirits #school spirits theory #maddie nears #simon elroy #janet hamilton

[maskednerd]

FNAF Movie parallel Theory/Incoherent Ramblings! (Spoilers ahead.)

Originally, I was gonna give my thoughts on the film but I'm bad at opinions so theory time it is! This is just for fun and to share my thoughts.

I've only seen the film once so I might have misremembered a few things here or there. But there's no harm looking for connections and parallel to the games/books!

Since Mike isn't an Afton... his dad could be a subtle parallel to Henry Emily. Which would make Garett and/or Abby a parallel to Charlie.

Of course, the Schmidt family still has elements of the Aftons. But with all the changes to the lore, the Emily roles could have been added on rather than being non-existent like it seems.

Now, you may be wondering if I'm just desperately digging for any sign of Henry Emily in this film cus he's my favorite character (aside from Michael Afton). And to that I say-

...

Shhhhhhh... Pretend it's not that obvious.

Anywho, let's get to some of these parallels! Shall we?

Aunt Jane… Aunt Jen? Her name being a possible parallel to Henry's sister in the books.

Kinda a weak point here but I'll include it anyways. The Schmidt family is showed to be Christian, evident by Mike remembering them gathered around the table saying grave before eating. "For one of you, the darkest pit of hell has opened to swallow you whole, so don't keep the Devil waiting, old friend."

Mike mentioned that his father couldn't handle the lost of Garret, vaguely implying he took his own life. In both the books and the games, Henry committed suicide due to the lost of his child. Silver Eyes had the Suicide Bot and Pizza Sim had the fire. "I am remaining as well. I am nearby."

Garret's death happened before the Missing Children Incident. In the photo that Vanessa shows with her as a child next to her father as Spring Bonnie, she has the same toy plane Garret had when he taken. Which Mike notices. But, with that photo being at the Pizzeria, it's assumed it's still open during that time. Yet Vanessa mentions the Pizzeria was closed shorty after the 5 children went missing. That photo probably wouldn't exist in that form if the place was dealing with an police investigation and a threat of closure.

During Mike's dream sequences, Garret seems unnervingly calm. Almost as though he went willingly. Yet it wouldn't make sense, out in the middle of a forest, for William to be dressed in the SpringBonnie suit in an attempt to lure him. But, if William was a family friend and trusted by his father, it would be easier to get Garret into his car.

If Garret Schmidt was a random child he abducted and murdered on a mere whim, why would "Steve Raglan" recognize that last name? Unless he saw missing posters, the news of the disappearance, or was keeping track of the viticm's families, why remember that random child you killed back in the 80s? One that wasn't even a part of the Missing Children's Incident at Freddy's?

At the end credits, there's the "COME FIND ME" audio easter egg resembling "SAVE THEM." A minigame heavily linked to the puppet, despite the puppet making no appearance nor having a single mention in the movie.

As for Abby... that springlock suit she was almost suited in looked an awfully lot like Ella, one of Charlie's toys from the books. For a reference to Elizabeth, it could have been a clown or something looking like Circus Baby. But why that possible reference to Ella?

Haven't read Silver Eyes in a a good while, but isn't there a sequence where Foxy is chasing Charlie through an arcade? Where she hides behind one of the arcade cabinets, just like Abby does?

Are these just random references and easter eggs pieced together in an incoherent rambling? Indeed they are, thanks for noticing! But that won't stop me from pointing them out for no one else to read.

#boy howdy a surprise non Owl House post! #which there unfortunately will be more of cus I got other obsessions and I'm not too anxious to show them anymore #i need to think of something to tag these ramblings as #fnaf #fnaf movie #fnaf movie spoilers

[soft-for-them]

Hidden away - Týr x plus size reader

Summary: Whilst searching for a suitable breakfast you happen to come across the old god of war and justice hidden away.

Comments and reblogs are much appreciated and help more people read my works.

A/N: This gif does not match with the story but there isn't many God of War Ragnarök gifs out there (understandable because the game just came out) and for some reason I don't like using still images. ALSO I haven't finished the game (someone has already spoiled it for me which is annoying) so don't spoil even more for me or anyone else thank you. I'm already thinking of a part two if people want it.

“Sindri!” you grumble as you finally come out your cocoon that is you little bedroom.

You’ve hastily put on a blue overdress, the same one you were wearing all day yesterday, with a fresh long sleeved underdress on of course. The big golden broaches that hold up the straps of the dress, one made by each of your brothers (you were adopted well after they were born but they still insist you are apart of their family) with the Huldra symbol moulded into each of the shiny metal rounds are the only clean part of your outfit, your dress covered in powdered paint and glue now dried clear.

Need to say you really need to give your dress a good scrub.

Bare feet hit the shallow steps that were really made only for your brother’s short stature lead down to the open planed ground floor, your bones clicking as you smooth down your clothes over your curves, not bothering to do your hair quite yet.

“Sindri!” you call again this time a bit louder as you head to the kitchen area.

The last you saw of your bother he had quickly popped into your bedroom, which is also your workroom where you paint your murals. He had excuse himself for he was going to go help young Atreus and his father. He said something about Tyr and Brok but really half of it went in one ear and out the other for you were painting and not paying attention to your non blue brother.

You lazily look around for some food to eat whilst also seeing who’s around, Sindri did say he’d be back with Brok, Atreus and Kronos but the tree house is awfully quiet without the bickering of your dwarven brothers along with the clinking of metal tools.

For a moment you stop and look around, you debate calling out again but you don’t.

Instead you find an apple to eat, a bruised one but an apple all the same. You don’t want to be cooking, it’s too early and you’re not the best at it (seem it runs in the family), so you take a big bite out the red and yellow fruit frowning at the chalky texture.

“Where are the porridge oats?” you wonder out loud as you rummage around for the food.

Porridge may not be the first or second thing you’d want to eat in the morning for its awfully bland on its own (and you still want to do as little as possible because you’re tired and in need to finish your painting) but you search for it anyway.

Mediocre apple half eaten you wonder over to the doors leading to what you assume is a pantry, well you thought it was.

You see this isn’t your home, well it is now that the end of times is coming but you didn’t live here before fimblewinter.

Before you lived out in a remote cabin in the middle of the woods living off the land and painting your artwork in peace. Now you cramped in your brother’s spare room for he insisted you move in with him when a group of raiders attacked you home.

“Brok?” you call out. Brok always shouts at you back, he’s your older brother and he loves you but he finds you and your shouting annoying. Sindri would say that you’re just as bad as each other with all the shouting and swearing, two peas in a pod but Brok insists you aren't.

You hear no shouting of your blue brother so you push open the door of what you think is a pantry the thing only open just a bit enough to squish you plush body through. It takes another budge from your shoulder to push the door inwards more, the something that once blocked the door moving away.

Either you’ve become very strong or whatever was blocking the door walked itself backwards.

“What the?” you whisper to yourself as you peak down around the door not see a random box or a weapon that Brok has left around, no, you see a big foot.

Eyes gone wide you slowly look up to see a man, a giant man, a man you have never seen in your entire life before waking up from his make sift bed in the small storage room.

Long dark hair drapes over his face that’s very sleepy looking, his glowing eyes barley open with little bits of sleepy in the corners as he peers up to you.

You want to act on instinct, grab the nearest blunt heavy object and throw it at him followed by running away but his eyes pool with confusion like a animal who has encountered a lost human in the middle of the woods only to run away themselves.

You assume you’ve just woke him up by barging in, his foot obviously being the object you though you moved to open the door just a bit.

You hope you haven’t hurt him in anyway.

“Who are you?” you ask in a stern but quiet voice, not wanting to scare away the giant man who now sits up from his slump.

“I could ask the same thing.” his voice makes you shiver, a warmth travels up your neck.

“I live here thank you very much.”

Already your eyes look the man up and down, his height sitting up taller than your brothers at full height, he must be a giant or part giant you think. The only part giant you’ve met is Atreus and well, Thor as well but you do not like to talk about that.

“Are you a giant?” you ask as you step a bit closer, your body now over the door frame, you now fully into the small room.

“Giant, do you mean Jötnar?” his voice, though laced with a sleepy croak one has when you’ve just awoken, sounds almost playful but also wise.

“I’m sorry, Jötnar, I’ve been around Brok and Sindri too long to remember the proper names for everything-“ you’re babbling but you do so to justify you slip up of calling him a giant, “I’m a human but technically I’m a Midgardian, I do not mean any offence.”

“I don’t take any-“ he talks with his hands, he moves them in a certain motion urging you to give him your name.

“(Y/n). Sister of Brok and Sindri.”

Holding out your hand and despite him sitting down he easily returns the greeting. His large hand wraps around your forearm, his digits squishing your soft skin lightly, his touch light as a feather like he doesn’t want to hurt anyone. You wrap your own hand around his forearm, your own fingers aching as they stretch around the wide width of his arm.

He goes to part from your greeting but you grip on his arm pulling on it like you intend to pull him up off the floor. You know you can’t, you’re not that strong, but it’s a kind gesture to say 'here, I can help you up' to the tall man.

When you were little and smaller than your brothers you’d try pulling them up despite not being able too, they’d get up just fine but they were always thankful for the so called ‘help’. Maybe it’s a childish thing to do, especially to a stranger, but the part Jötnar man looks so tired, so in himself like he doesn’t know who he is.

He pulls himself up just fine, your hand still lingering on his arm. He does not mind, he actually likes the feeling.

“Sister?” he asks.

“Adopted.” You say back with a smile.

“Ah. I see.” He looks down at you with his glowing eyes, not a bad emotion crossing his eyes as he looks at you, “I’m Tyr by the way.”

You mind runs wild.

Atreus and Kronos succeeded in freeing him!

“Well Tyr, would you like some breakfast-“ you raise you other hand that still hold the half eaten apple, “- I was looking for something more substantial to eat than this apple.”

“I would be grateful for one, I-I haven’t had a good breakfast in quite a while.”

#god of war #god of war ragnorak #god of war x reader #tyr god of war #tyr god of war x reader #tyr x reader #x plus size reader #plus size reader #x chubby reader #chubby reader

[zuureleena]

i drew the mercs, miss pauling, admin, and my tf2 oc on the plane to uni 😭

i did all of these a week ago and completely forgot to post them HAJAHAH miss p, the admin, and a rlly simplified ver of my tf2 oc miss lynn!! (zoey lynn hehe + js rambles abt her) under the cut

IM ACTUALLY REWORKING HER DESIGN RNNNN bcs i made her on the sims 4 LMAO and realised how much better and concise she looked, but i really wanna try and make her look like someone you'd js see irl? sooOOo tryna make her also recognisable from silhouette alone and blahablahblah tho she isn't the kind of character that would rlly make too much of a difference in the tf2 universe

i js wanted to make a loveable character LMAO who'd have more of an impact on the relationships and kinda the story?

i liked the idea of miss p having an extroverted bestfriend who's also her wingwoman bcs miss pauling is obvs an awkward lesbian mess who needs help in the love department, and vice versa bcs zoey is into scout and miss pauling is js so glad to have him move on n realise that they r better as friends!! and that he needs to be with someone who isn't annoyed by him 24/7 (IM SORRY, LWNAKS MY SELF-INSERTEDNESS GOT IN THE WAY HAHAHAHA I CANT HELP IT) also, i haven't rlly thought of any orientation for zoey... i'm thinking of her js being a het woman or js whatever u wanna interpret her as!! cuz her sexuality isn't a core thing abt her

she's an absolute harbinger of chaos who'd do anyt for money and some company (this girl has been hella lonely n stressed out of her mind and i'll explain why in an oc post🤭🤭) and even tho she never outright admits it, she does enjoy the freedom of violence she gets to have as a mann co assistant 😭 (which will ALSO make sense when i explain her background to u guys later on)

and bcs of her long experience w shady bosses and asshole customers she's had to deal within all the jobs she's had, she catches onto the administrator's whole thing with the australium fairly early into the job, but she's in tooooo deep now and is like "damn. do i get myself out of this fucked up job (that i am fucked up enough to actually enjoy) or do i stay bcs i literally have everything i've ever wanted....shit." like,, she did say she'd do anyt for money but at the cost of what 😭 [also MAN i wish we got that final comic so i can js make zoey's suspicions make sense??!?@ but in a way it js works bcs it's js this massive mystery that we don't even know of ourselves???? so likeee, im js assuming its smth rlly dangerous or smth bcs helen literally goes to the most insane lengths to get australium and finish off her final... thingy.. that uh DEBT is it... i forgot what she called it BUT WHATEVER BUSINESS SHE HAD TO ATTEND TO B4 SHE DIED QOABJASH]

OH AND YEAH, zoey hates how bossy the admin is and is an ass abt it at times, and the admin wants zoey gone so badly bcs shes an annoying little shit (which she is and honestly, her and scout can be annoying shits tgt <3) but miss p always convinces her to keep zoey BAGAHAHA and they do get things done much faster w zoey there sooOoOOo 🌝🤭

i mean she does try to kill both miss p & l anyway but still, she can't deny that they r both good at what they do

BWOSBQJS BYE I DONT THINK ANYONE IS GONNA READ THIS AHAGAH BUT THANK YOU IF U DID 😭 I HAVE SM ABT ZOEY AND I RLLY WANT HER TO BE LOVEABLE AUGHWGS

#tf2 #team fortress 2 #team fortress 2 fanart #tf2 fanart #tf2 memes #tf2 mercs #tf2 scout #tf2 soldier #tf2 pyro #tf2 demoman #tf2 heavy #tf2 engineer #tf2 medic #tf2 sniper #tf2 spy #tf2 miss pauling #tf2 administrator #tf2 oc

[officialgleamstar]

would anyone wanna hear my thoughts on how well suited grant would be for every single ranger subclass? yes? okay awesome because i already spent 20 minutes writing it all out on discord then realized i could post that on tumblr for attention

general notes: i am, lightly, in the camp that grant shouldn't be a ranger. i think fighter or rogue would have been just fine for a shooting build and would have made more sense, i really would have liked to see him as an artificer because that would be so cool, and i think just doing the critrole gunslinger handbook would have been the smartest move, even if it isnt quite made for snipers afaik. grant would have been a terrible gunslinger stats wise, assuming from what we've seen (he's mentioned as being the strongest kiddad in this episode which isn't optimized for gunslinger), but it still would have made more sense to me. also lark should have been a ranger. regardless! grant is the ranger, and rangers are one of my favorite classes in base d&d, so i am going to infodump now

Beast Master - Severely unlikely considering Grant isn't shown to have any animal companion. Also Linc would be furiously jealous. 0/10

Drakewarden - Also severely unlikely for the same reasons as above, but I think it would be really cool. Give Grant a dragon pleeease. Linc would still be furiously jealous though. 2/10

Fey Wanderer - Unlikely since it's more Wis/magic-focused than a traditional fighting ranger build. Grant is not a wisdom/charisma guy, he is a 'shoot people' guy. 0/10

Gloom Stalker - Not one of my top three, but one that I REALLY LIKE for Grant. The emphasis on ambushing and the idea of disappearing into the background fits snipers well, and I think the... edginess LOL just suits him. It would definitely set off his "I'm evil and terrible forever and nothing can change this" intrusive thoughts if he had magical blend-into-the-darkness powers. This is what I like to headcanon Lark as having generally, but I think if Grant is the ranger of the group, then it works for him really well. 7/10

Horizon Walker - This one is, if Lark was also a ranger, what I think Lark would be canonically. Once again, this means it also works for Grant. It's more likely to me than Gloom Stalker since Horizon Walker has a lot of focus on swapping planes, and that seems to be something that the kiddads put a LOT of focus on. It also deals heavy damage, which is fitting for Grant. I can see Anthony flavoring Distant Strike as a sniper shot purely based on the name then realizing his mistake later and pretending he was right anyways. (Additional note: This is what Taylor is, which I forgot until I googled it after writing this whole long post! Good job Freddie, I did not have faith in you to make that good of a decision (joke)) 8/10

Hunter - What is most likely because it is the most generic ranger. Anthony will never think about this as much as I do. It's also good for taking lots of damage, which doesn't make sense for a sniper but I think fits Grant's general vibe of being the toughest of the kiddads. 10/10

Monster Slayer - Just Hunter but without the flexibility. So once again, makes sense, and since it's suited for archery builds, that makes it even more fitting since it can even replace the Sharpshooter feat in some ways. 10/10

Swarmkeeper - Extremely unlikely but it would be so funny and also MADE FOR ME because this is my favorite ranger subclass. Come ooon Anthony, give my silly little guy a swarm of bees or something. 0/10

#dndads #dndads s2 #dndads spoilers #grant wilson #grant li wilson #mine #I REALLY. LIKE RANGERS. #i did this for sparrow too btw but thats not as thought out LMAO

[anonymityisfunwriter]

I'm so in love with your stories, especially the Grumpy Sunshine Series got me🤩 so I got a request for it, hope like it.

Could you write a sick Sunshine fic, with Bucky being his grumpy self :D after a mission went not as good as planed, leaving Sunshine being thrown into a nearly frozen lake, they are now back at home. Bucky is pissed making Sunshine responsible for the difficulties they had at the mission, when in fact he's only pissed that got thrown into thr cold lake being hurt. Sunshine is slowly feeling ill, getting worse with the hours. Deathly pale with a raging fever she stumbles out of her bedroom searching for help in her semi conscious state...

She ends up having a severe pneumonia and Bucky and the guys worriedly taking care of her. Bucky regretting is cruel behavior towards to and not noticing you feeling this sick.

I really hope you like it, you wonderful writer

If I had a nickel for every time that Sunshine gets hypothermia in this series, I'd have two nickels, which isn't a lot, but it is strange that it happened twice. 😂

Listen, I love this. I love this so much. I'm very sorry that this took so long, but I wanted to get it right. I hope you love it and thank you so, so much for the request! 💛

(seriously guys, never stop sending me requests, they're so much fun)

Pairing: Grumpy!Bucky Barnes x Sunshine!Reader Part of The Grumpy x Sunshine Series

Bleeding Time

Hours.

Minutes.

Seconds.

Bucky knew how important every one of them was.

Time was a commodity, the most valuable of resources. A luxury not offered to many.

It was so fleeting.

He knew that. He knew it well.

Bleeding time was the most fatal of injuries. Hemorrhaging seconds was lethal. Allowing minutes to slip through your fingers like the sands of time was deadly.

So there he stands, raking through his mind, trying to figure out how long he'd left you to bleed?

As he stands in a hospital room, listening to the doctor talk and overwhelm him with questions, he can't help but wonder how he squandered so much of that precious time.

"Mr. Barnes?"

"Yes," Bucky immediately responds, his eyes snapping back to the doctor. "Yes, I was with her the whole day. I can tell you what happened."

"The more we know, the better we can determine what course of action to take."

"Of course," Bucky agrees, a hollow look on his face as he stands at the foot of your hospital bed. "I remember every minute of it."

He remembers every hour, every minute, every second of it.

And he remembers wasting every single one of them.

--

The first minute was probably the most terrifying minute of his life. He'd faced life and death before, but this wasn't his life hanging in the balance.

It was yours.

"I regret everything!" you shout, holding onto the landing bar of the helicopter for dear life. "I regret it all!"

"Tell me you are not on that helicopter!" Bucky demands, hearing the commotion from your unmuted comms.

"Joke's on you, I'm not on the helicopter!" you triumphantly exclaim, dangling from the landing bar hundreds of feet in the air.

Before Bucky can breathe a sigh of relief that you weren't aboard an enemy helicopter, you finish your sentence, "I'm hanging from the helicopter."

"What?" Bucky bellows. "That was not part of the plan! What were you thinking?"

"I was thinking, hey, the files that we needed are on the helicopter. I'm watching it take off," you audibly walk him through your impulsive thought process. "Hey, I should go after it. And now, I'm winging everything else."

From there, all Bucky can hear is a chaotic cacophony of sounds. He assumes it's a general struggle as you try to pull yourself aboard a helicopter full of HYDRA agents who probably wouldn't be the most welcoming to you.

"Sam? Do you have visual?" Bucky curtly asks.

"Every time I try I keep getting coming under heavy fire. Can't get up there long enough to see what's happening," Sam explains, doing his best to weave through the thick forest surrounding the HYDRA base. Every time he soared high, bullets were immediately trying to shoot him down.

"I need someone to take out those guns," Bucky orders whatever available SHIELD agent is closest. "We need to see what's happening!"

"On it, Sergeant," an agent whose name keeps evading Bucky's mind responds.

"She's on the helicopter, Buck!" Sam calls, only able to pop up from the tree line for a short moment before he has to duck back down for cover.

Bucky hears your muffled voice come through the comms again, "If I'm going down, I'm taking you with me!"

"I'm trying to get down to the shoreline as quickly as I can," Bucky states, sprinting as quickly as he can from the base.

It was five miles, but even as a super soldier, that meant it would take at least another five minutes before anyone could even try to help you.

"Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry!" you prattle to the HYDRA agent. "Did not mean to do -"

"Doll?" Bucky shouts when your voice cuts out.

Sam, without much regard for his own safety, pops up from the tree line again, "Oh my God..."

"What?" Bucky frantically demands.

"They're both hanging now. She's holding on and he's got her leg," Sam quickly rattles off. Before whispering in horror, "He's gonna take her down with him."

"Let go," you yell, your words punctuated by desperate thrashing of your legs as you once again dangle from the helicopter. "I don't have the upper body strength for this!"

"Just hang on!" Sam shouts, dodging the bullets that rain down on him. "I'm on my way!"

"I'm trying!" you cry.

Sam immediately sees that you're fighting a losing battle. Your grip is slipping from the landing bar, your fingertips straining to hold both yourself and a tenacious HYDRA agent up.

Bucky didn't really know what it was from: Sam getting clipped in the arm from another flurry of bullets or the fact that Sam had a front row seat to his best friend fall hundreds of feet into a icy lake, but Bucky had never heard such a bloodcurdling scream come from Sam until the moment your grip failed you and you fell.

Minute 1

"What just happened?!" Bucky desperately screams. "Sam, what just happened?!"

"She fell, they both fell into the lake," Sam panics, still soaring through the sky to get to you as quickly as he can.

"Do you see her? Sam, tell me you see her!" Bucky demands.

"No! No! I can't see anything. The water isn't clear enough, there's ice everywhere!" Sam scans over the lake, looking through the general area of where you fell as quickly as you can.

The dark blue, murky waters are unforgiving.

Thin sheets of ice float along the restless waves.

There's no sign of you anywhere.

"Sam!" Bucky screams.

Minute 2

That second minute started much like the first one. His heart raced as ice flowed through his veins. He pushed himself to run even faster, faster than he'd ever ran in his life and it still wasn't enough.

"Sam!"

"I'm trying! I can't see anything!"

Bucky feels like he can't breathe, his heart aches, yet races faster than he's ever felt it.

He couldn't imagine this being the end for you. He wouldn't accept that. He'd search every inch of that lake until you were found if he had to.

This couldn't be it.

He can almost see the shoreline through the forest. He's almost there.

But it's been over a minute. You've gone more than an entire minute without oxygen. That's the average a person could last underwater, he knows.

He pushes himself even harder, his muscles on fire as he forces himself to run faster and faster.

Just as you hit that two minute mark, Sam shouts, "She broke through. I see her!"

Minute 4

There was so much commotion happening over the next two minutes that it all just felt like static in Bucky's ear.

"I've got her," Sam exhaustedly pants, "She's alright. I got her."

Bucky clutches his chest, practically doubling over in relief. He stands on the shoreline, watching as Sam fishes you from an icy lake.

"She's okay," Sam repeats, wincing as you violently cough and sputter out lake water. "I got her."

It didn't take much more than the visual of Sam pulling you out of a frozen lake for Bucky to call this mission an epic failure.

The flash drive containing the names of HYDRA operatives was gone with the man who'd fallen into the lake with you.

The computers were all destroyed.

The base was in ruins with any and all records completely destroyed.

The love of his life had almost died for nothing, a life nearly thrown away in complete vain.

It was a disaster.

It was his disaster.

As mission leader, this was Bucky's mess.

The warm relief that overtook him, steeled itself, burning to a degree far beyond comfort, boiling over into white hot rage.

Minute 14

It took an almost ten minute trek in the icy Siberian forest to get back to the Quinjet.

In that time, Bucky's rage took over.

With each passing minute, he ruminated, allowing his anger to stew just above a raging boil. You always were so careless with your life. So willing to push past your limits, so willing to put yourself in danger.

But this, this was too much. This time you'd gone too far.

How long before your antics became more than even you could handle?

And what was he supposed to do when that day came? How could he ever come to accept a world without you because of you? What would he ever do if he had to live in a world where there was no you? You weren't tempting fate in Bucky's mind, you were taunting it, begging fate to take you away from him.

Bucky doesn't stop to remind himself that you're okay or that he was working himself into a blind rage over hypotheticals and worse case scenarios.

He barked orders at anyone that had the displeasure of getting in his way.

You kept quiet, still soaking wet in your mission gear. You and Sam walked side by side, uncharacteristically quiet as you fled the enemy territory without a single victory.

A part of you felt awful, you knew you were part of the reason things became so chaotic with the way you strayed so far from the plan.

"I cannot fucking believe this!" Bucky fumes in the Quinjet, pacing back and forth as your team, batter, bruised, and some pretty seriously injured, slink up the ramp. "What the hell happened out there?"

Everyone remains quiet, tensed and ready for the ugly lecture you were all going to get for today's disaster.

It was always difficult when a mission went awry, but with Bucky acting as mission leader today, you knew he was going to be even more upset.

You knew this assignment meant a lot to him. This one was high risk, but also high reward.

The names of old HYDRA operatives that were allegedly living amongst the general population.

It meant a lot to him, still, you really didn't expect him to take it out on everyone aboard.

Especially not when everyone was still tending to their wounds, not while everyone was still rattled, battered and bruised.

Apparently, that didn't matter.

Apparently, it didn't change that Bucky was on a warpath.

Minute 16

"Here, let me wrap this for you. It looks pretty bad," you offer to Sam, sitting down on the seat next to him to fix the nasty bullet graze down his arm.

"Maybe you should change first," Sam suggests, shying away from the frosty feeling of your fingertips on his skin, "It was a long walk back, you've got to be freezing."

You were, but as you look around the jet to your other team mates, you decide that you're the least injured of everyone.

At least, the least visibly injured.

After all, what were some wet clothes when your best friend was clipped by a bullet, when your team mates were nursing broken bones, knife wounds, and other awful injuries.

"I didn't bring a change of clothes, I wasn't exactly planning on going for a swim today," you dryly remark, opening the first aid kit.

"You really should go change out of those wet clothes," Sam insists.

"I'm fine, Sam. You're the one dripping blood everywhere," you remind him, a hint of a chuckle threaded in your words, ignoring the involuntary shivers now wracking up and down your arms.

"Don't even get me started on you two," Bucky suddenly lectures you and Sam, startling both of you. You mostly ignore Bucky as you wry to clean Sam's wound. You tried not to take his anger personally, he had every right to be upset. You just never thought he would be so casually cruel about it, "You were both irresponsible, reckless, impulsive. I don't have enough adjectives to describe the shit you two pulled today- "

"Will you ease up?" you shoot back, fed up with the name calling. "We did our best!"

"Your best?" Bucky dismissively scoffs. He angrily fumes, "That was your best? Getting dumped into a freezing lake and needing Sam to rescue you is your best?"

There was often this misconception about you and Bucky. It wasn't entirely unfounded and not entirely untrue.

The misconception was that you didn't fight.

It was somewhat true.

In your personal lives, you two rarely fought. You were both very well suited to each other. You both balanced each other out.

But working with your significant other was hard.

And working with your significant other when you were both working high risk missions and assignments that constantly put your lives on the line, paired with completely different personalities was even harder.

There was an agreement between the two of you that your work and personal lives had to remain separate.

Your work and personal lives were neatly compartmentalized and mostly left at the door.

But, that also meant, that on an occasion or two, you and Bucky would get into a fight or two at work.

Sometimes, you felt like Bucky was too harsh, too abrasive, too unwilling to compromise or make amendments to his stringent plans.

Sometimes, Bucky thought that you were too impulsive, too willing to march to the beat of your own drum.

Unlike some of your team mates, you weren't scared of Bucky. You weren't afraid to stand up to him when you felt like his temper was getting the best of him. Sometimes, it worked and it would snap Bucky out of his mood.

Today, it made things much worse. 

"Oh, no," Sam worriedly sighs.

You abruptly stand up, bitterly chuckling in disbelief, "Are you implying that what happened was my fault?"

"Maybe we should all just -" Sam tries to interject, holding the gauze to his arm.

"Stay out of it!" you both shout at Sam.

With wide eyes, Sam slumps down in his seat, "Alrighty, then."

"I wasn't implying it," Bucky snarks back.

You scoff, "Please tell me you're joking!"

"If the shoe fits," Bucky retorts. "Funny, how you're the only one that didn't stick to the plan."

"Don't say it, don't say it,' Sam whispers to himself.

"Maybe if you hadn't rushed into today, we would have known what was waiting for us!" you accuse. 

"And you said it," Sam quietly groans, pinching the bridge of his nose as he further shrinks down in his seat.

"I'm done with this conversation," Bucky seethes. "You can take it up with Tony and Fury."

"Fine!"

"Fine," Bucky grimaces, storming away from you.

Minute 18

"You're shaking," Sam worriedly comments as you finish bandaging up the gash on his arm.

"With rage."

Sam rolls his eyes as you glare at the back of Bucky's head, "I'm serious. That lake was practically frozen. It's been almost twenty minutes, you're gonna get sick."

"I'm fine, Sam."

"If you're not going to go change, can you at least go sit with Bucky? He's like a human furnace."

You cross your arms over your chest, "I'm not sitting with him after he blamed me for today."

"You're being stubborn," Sam points out. "Please don't make me call him back here."

"Just let me finish this bandage and I'll go find something to change into."

It takes less than a minute for you to finish tying the bandage around Sam's bullet wound.

Minute 20

"You don't look so good," Sam warns when you amble back over to the seat beside him, "I thought you went to go find clothes!"

"I did. I only found this - this thermal blanket," you explain through chattering teeth.

"Those only work if you're still producing body heat!" Sam frantically states. He snatches your hand taking note of the blueish hue forming on the very tips of your fingers and the purplish hue of your lips. "Bucky!"

"Wha-" Bucky's word falters as he watches you huddled up under the thermal blanket. "Jesus, why haven't you changed yet?"

Your breath catches in your throat as you try to speak. The words he's saying go over your head.

You blink up at him, confused.

You keen at the feeling of Bucky's searing hand on your pulse point. You shake your head, trying to focus on why he looks so distressed. You don't like the look on his face. Your eyebrows pull together, upset that you can't pinpoint why he's so upset. 

"Why didn't you say anything?"

Suddenly, it feels like you're back in that lake. With water encasing your ears, you can hardly hear Bucky's frantic pleas to you. As you sink further and further, the light slowly fades away.

His warm hands grip your chin, once again, you sink into his touch, smiling up at him. Your eyelids flutter shut at the comforting feeling surrounding you. He gently shakes your head, tapping at your cheek, "Hey, hey, your heart rate is slowing down, whatever you do, I need you to keep your eyes open, okay?"

Each time you reach out for the surface, it slips just out of your grasp. Bucky's voice pleads with you, but you just keep sinking. Further and further until it's nothing more than a distant echo.

The darkness wraps around you life a warm blanket, it feels so good, so right.

It doesn't matter how much you fight it, it was always a losing battle.

There's no escape as it all goes dark.

Hour 94

The whole time, he refuses to leave your side. His comfort, his well being, it all takes a backseat.

Not because he feels himself drowning in guilt, though that was very much the case, but because fear had not loosened its grip on his heart.

He uses this time sitting beside your motionless body as an opportunity to torment himself. He thinks about all the mistakes he made, all the things he said.

All he can think is that if this was really it, if you didn't make it, his last real words to you would be him shouting at you, blaming you for what happened.

You must've been scared out of your mind. Falling out of a helicopter like that, you must've been terrified. Getting trapped underneath the ice for two minutes. On the trek back to the jet.

And he didn't once ask you if you were okay.

He didn't make sure that you'd changed out of your soaked clothing. He didn't check to make sure you were properly warming up. What kind of partner was that, he asks himself. What kind of boyfriend would let his concern turn into rage and frustration aimed at the person he almost lost?

And now, now, he really was losing you.

You lie there, he holds your hand. It's been that way for almost four days. It felt like his entire world, his entire heart had been torn to shreds.

Your temperature was finally back to normal. When they first brought you in, it was too low. Then, once they'd brought it up, a respiratory infection sent your temperature soaring.

Now, it was back to normal. Bucky could hold your hand and feel your normal warmth. The nurses mostly left him alone, usually tip toeing around him as they checked your vitals over and over again. 

The nurses keep looking at him with a growing pity in their eyes. It's been four days, you've yet to wake up.

Bucky knows what they're thinking. He knows that they see him as the delusional boyfriend convinced that you'll make a miraculous recovery.

He reconciles that there was some truth to that. He did think there was going to be a miraculous recovery.

Those nurses didn't know you. He did. He knew you were a fighter. He internally curses himself for that cliche. He can't bring himself to care. If cliches were all he had, then he would take it.

So he tends to you, all in anticipation for the moment that you wake. Because you will, you will wake up. You'll wake up and he'll beg for forgiveness. He'll beg forever if that's what you want, he just needs you to wake up. 

So he does it all, everything he can and more.

Reads you that book that you've been trying to finish for weeks now.

Fresh flowers by your bedside.

Plays your favorite songs over and over again.

He even made Sam go get your lucky shirt from the Compound. He's never believed that an inanimate object could be lucky, but you did, so he will for you too.

His head rests in your lap, slowly dozing off with your book in his hand, still unfinished.

After days without sleep, he drifts off quickly to a dreamland where you are awake, where you're still holding him, laughing with him. It's a nice reprieve after four days of hell. 

Hour 95

You eyelids flutter, still heavy from exhaustion. Your eyes still closed, you take a breath though your aching lungs beg you not to. You creak open a bleary eye at the incessant beeping from beside you.

The fluorescent lights above you startle you, forcing both eyes open. You immediately look down to Bucky, fast asleep with his light snores filling the room. You smile down at him, resting your head back down on your pillow to avoid waking him. 

Sore muscles and exhaustion still bog you down, but you can't resist gently carding your fingers through Bucky's unruly hair. You quietly chuckle as he keens at the affection, sleepily groaning with a tired smile, "Hmm..."

His eyes whirl open at the sound of your laugh. His head snaps up off your lap and he just stares at you for a moment, not entirely convinced that he isn't still dreaming.

You sleepily sigh, head still back against your pillow, "Are you still mad?"

"Oh my God," he whispers. He surprises you by immediately standing up, sending the backwards. He bends down, carefully avoiding your IV, he kisses your temple, murmuring against your skin, "You're awake. Thank God, you're awake. I'm sorry, so, so, sorry."

You raise your hand, running it over Bucky's stubbly jaw, "Hi."

A laugh of relief bubbles out of his mouth, relishing in the feeling of your warm hand caressing his face, "Hi."

"How long was I out?" you wonder, surprised at Bucky's reaction. 

"Four days."

"Four days?" you squawk.

"You hit the water pretty hard according to the doctor," Bucky begins to explain. "There was some bruising on your ribs and lungs. By the time we got you here, you were severely hypothermic and for the last few days they've been treating you for a respiratory infection."

You humorously snort, "Well, now no one can ever say that I never took one for the team."

"That's not funny," Bucky deadpans, a frown pulling at the corner of his mouth. "You could've died out there. I - You - You almost died out there."

You take his hand, pressing the palm of his hand to your lips, "It's alright. I'm okay."

"No, it's not alright." He fervently shakes his head, anger once again seeps into his words. This time, he's careful to direct that anger at the person that deserves it: himself. He was to blame for this whole mess. "You got hurt, which is bad enough. Even worse, it was all for nothing. You got hurt for nothing."

"It wasn't for nothing," you interject.

Bucky's eyebrows furrow, "What?"

"Do you have the sweater I was wearing?"

"It's right here," Bucky grabs the sweater, all your mission gear in a bag set beside him. "Are you cold? I can get you another blanket, or I can call the nurse - I should call the nurse actually."

You grab his hand, halting him. "I'm fine. Promise."

He hands you your jacket with a puzzled expression, "Then, why-"

You stick your hand in your pocket, fumbling around for a moment, "Here it is."

"What?"

You take your hand out of your pocket, revealing the flash drive to Bucky, "It wasn't for nothing, James."

You truly never ceased to surprise him, Bucky softly gasps, "How did you get that?"

"The HYDRA agent, he dropped it when we hit the water," you sheepishly shrug. "I saw it sinking so I swam down to get it."

Bucky can hardly fathom it.

From what the doctor said, the way you hit the water was enough to do incredible amounts of physical damage. From the amount of time you were down there, they deduced that you'd gotten stuck under a sheet of ice or the hit had rendered you momentarily unconscious. 

Then, there was the icy lake, he knew every second of swimming in that water must've felt like daggers against your skin.

Risking getting caught underneath thick ice, you swam down to save the mission. He can't believe that you actually swam down, “You swam down?”

“I knew how much it meant to you. I saw it and I went for it.”

You extend the thumb drive out to him, “I didn't say anything because I didn’t want to get your hopes up if it didn’t work anymore, but it wasn't for nothing. It was for you.”

He pushes your extended hand away. Instead, pulling you into his crushing embrace, “You mean more to me. So much more.”

Grumpy Sunshine Series AnonymityIsFun Masterlist

Reblogs and comments are always appreciated 💛

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[toomuchracket]

im not kidding i reread the boat angst saga at least 2 times a week. it’s so good.

if you’re not planning that to be a fic maybe you could write birthday party angst? like they’re both on separate tours (satvb and her book tour.) and they haven’t seen each other in awhile which transpires in to a fight about how either one doesn’t make enough time for each other (maybe leading to a “break” that only really last a few days and the entire time matty is beating himself up over it. or if you want to make it ESPECIALLY messy, he could have had a misunderstanding and thought maybe she was cheating on him?) could also work for flatmate. like he’s all consumed with his tour until he comes back to find girlie throwing herself in to a case (aka not making time for him.) which leads to them fighting, and her thinking he’s undermining her work. (maybe pre-kids)

i love the birthday party idea especially, but i might take inspo from the other one too!! thinking maybe matty gets a bit miffed that you can't always talk to him during the day (for you), because you have MULTIPLE events/appearances scheduled per day (podcasts, interviews, etc. on top of talks and presentations and book signings) - for some reason, he doesn't seem to get that, prob because his version of tour is so different from yours. idk, maybe he feels like he's putting all the effort in and it's not reciprocated, which really isn't true given that you're literally flying out to see him in a week after your own (lengthy) tour ends, and you get quite upset about it and say something like "well, now you know how it feels for once", and it starts a whole argument about how he asked you to come on tour with him last time and you said you couldn't because you had final drafts and editorial meetings and things that are really a lot easier to do when you're at home. maybe he says something quite cold and condescending about how that all seemed like a fucking shit excuse for not going, because he's a writer too AND he has to record and he can do it all while he's touring, and you get extremely upset because a) he's making it seem like his work is more important than yours, and b) he's disregarding the fact that he can only do everything at once because he doesn't have to do it all himself like you do. and matty lets his frustration get the better of him and says something like "well, it's not like anyone could work with you anyway, too fucking stubborn to compromise", and you just go SILENT and then say "ok. i'll just refund the plane tickets for coming out next week, then, since i can't compromise. bye. i'll maybe see you when you get back to london. but i'm not holding my breath" - he's like "whatever", and assumes you're bluffing, but you're dead serious. not that he bothers calling, because he's just as stubborn as you and neither of you want to be the person to cave first and call the other, but he does go to the airport the day you're meant to fly out to pick you up, and fucking PANICS when your flight gets in and you don't appear; only then does he phone you to question where you are and if you're ok, and you coolly say "i did tell you i wasn't coming. my lack of ability to compromise didn't tip you off?", and matty honest to god starts crying about how he was an arsehole and fucked up and how he didn't really mean any of it and he really does love you. he's giving it "i'll fly home now i'll fucking do it. i need to sort this", and you're like "no, finish the tour. i don't need you resenting me for anything else about it" - your voice cracks on that last sentence, and he feels like he's going to throw up with guilt. but you do love him, and you really miss him, so you forgive him eventually after you talk when he gets home. things take a while to get back to the way they were, and even then they're never quite the same again; not in a bad way, just in the two of you being kinder to each other about processes and touring and respecting each other's work. kinda wwat vibes, actually <3

#mads answers asks #matty asks #angst asks #into the birthday partyverse

[themaskstayson]

Just want to share info on Faith in Elden Ring and Baldur's Gate 3 cause there's a few parallels.

Race: Numen is technically the race I picked in character creation, descendants of denizens of another world; long-lived but seldom born.

Faith would not inform the group of being a Numen since they have no understanding of the Land Between but i think it's safe to say Faith would just say they're human since there are so many non-human beings in Elden Ring. But they will talk about being a tarnished and Grace more often than not since Lae'zel, Shadowheart, and Gale have not so great experiences with their goddesses; Faith could relate on some level on how the gods punish to the extreme and how they suffer and either push through to gain the favor of the gods or overcome the need to gain the gods favor.

Which I'll bring up Faith's eyes. Faith isn't blind. They aren't like the potentional Finger Maidens you meet like Irina, and by extension Hyatta, who have weak eye sight. I took the idea of losing Grace a bit too seriously and how the Tarnished loses the gold in their eyes because of it. I also really dig the blank eye design...

Gender: Agender

Faith see themself more as a weapon than a human and doesn't care for gender roles at all. In Elden Ring gear isn't really pushed to fem or masc presenting like how it is in BG3. Faith's body type is feminine in BG3 cause of limitations.

Age: Young

Since the Rune of Death is sealed, the Faith and others cannot die, and I'm assuming cannot age. Faith stopped aging in their early to mid 20s because that's usually when soldiers are recruited. Depending on the events, of Marika ascending to godhood and when the tarnished tries to become Elden Lord, Faith would probably be closer to Halsin's age or even older.

Sexuality: *Shrug*

Faith is probably somewhere on the ace spectrum? Sex doesn't interest them, but they will do it if "prompted." They don't need to be romantically involved to do it but they also wouldn't just so it to anyone either. So, sadly, drow twins are a no go.

Romantically, they would be polyamorous. Especially around the BG3 cast. Being alone in their journey in the Land Between to suddenly having a group to support them, they might skew the idea of romantic relationships and platonic ones. Which doesnt help when all the cast wants to fuck you if youre friendly to them. Which would have to be another post of how they view the companions' advances for sex and romance.

Class: Confessor/Paladin

The Confessors are tarnished that turned from the Golden Order and then confessed for their sins and then made into spies to hunt down other tarnished that strayed. They have high faith starting stats and use a sword and shield.

I'm not gonna learn how to mod and port over this armor or weapons to BG3 but Faith would be wearing this throughout their Faerûn adventure.

They look so good so Faith would use those lol

It only made sense to be a Paladin, despite being a spy and can easily pick rogue also. Especially with the dark urge option about your class: The oath you awoke with is some faded instinct. Felt extra fitting as to Faith serves the Golden Order to persevere Queen Marika but along the way breaks their oath once they learn more through their travels. Would restoring the Golden Order be right? Would following the Three Fingers and burn everything into a frenzy to hope that something better be born anew be better? Is restoring death a better path?

Apparently playing as a paladin Durge you can talk to the Oathbreaker and he will state that he indeed knows you and you have broken your oath before.

And with Faith's lack of faith in the Golden Order would be breaking their oath with the idea of turning from it.

Lastly why they're in Faerûn:

Faith mentions to Astarion that they were fighting the Elden Beast and died during the fight and instead of going back to the last Grace Site they touched, they ended up being removed completely from their plane of existence.

I don't have it set in stone but I am playing with the idea that the Greater Will, or another Outer God, intervened since it is possible that it is an Outer God and probably has the power to do so. Faith isn't sure what is the best outcome for the Land Between and seeing that the tarnished the Greater Will chose might cause greater harm than good, it removed Faith completely.

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #baldurs gate 3 #my tav #my ocs #elden ring tarnished #elden ring #my tarnished #bg3 tav #oc: faith

[archivist-the-knight]

hi. xiv analysis. i'm putting some stuff under the cut because that's all things relating to spoilers for the later half of the video jic.

firstly, xiv is a tiefling, but the exact tiefling subrace isn't specified in the video. i'd assume they're a Mephistopheles tiefling, given their appearance in game and the fact that meph tieflings are proficient in arcane magic. they're also known for being in more colder climates. i'll bring this up later.

they're a wild magic sorcerer, which is, in my opinion, super important to know to understand about their character. there's a multitude of ways I can describe it, but I think dnd 5e does a good job as it corresponds with Xiv's story. (link)

[Your innate magic comes from the wild forces of chaos that underlie the order of creation. You might have endured exposure to some form of raw magic, perhaps through a planar portal leading to Limbo, the Elemental Planes, or the mysterious Far Realm. Perhaps you were blessed by a powerful fey creature or marked by a demon. Or your magic could be a fluke of your birth, with no apparent cause or reason. However it came to be, this chaotic magic churns within you, waiting for any outlet.]

now. the spoilery content ^_^. also because this post is going to be like so long every kid with autism. [also very big warning for in-depth discussion of child abuse, particularly from a father, and the affects that has on said child. if you don't wanna read that part you don't have to]

xiv's father, even with the 13 other arcane batteries, is a very powerful man. he's a meph tiefling, giving him proficiency with arcane magic, and is probably a sorcerer like xiv. so, given that... the most logical explanation of xiv gaining the wild aspect of their magic is through enduring exposure to raw magic. Sure, it could potentially be "marked by a demon" given the fact they're a tiefling, but... Xiv's father isn't the best person.

bringing back the meph tieflings living in cold climates thing!! xiv mentioned they lived in a tower of sorts, far enough away where their father could keep them secluded. judging by the usage of negative space and scene layouts in their background animatic, we can retain the information that besides their father, they basically knew very little about the outside world growing up.

^^ tldr abt that. the animatic noticably gets more detailed as xiv both gets older and starts to doubt their father, and has its most detail when they have the wild magic explosion, and when they're escaping only to be put on the mindflayer ship ^_^.

anyway. with all of this to say, xiv's father is not a good man at all. he's done this 13 other times before getting to xiv, and didn't even give them an actual name. just the roman designation of it. he gave xiv a false, hopeful promise about how if they "honed their power, they could leave the tower", but fully intended to keep them there. it is slightly implied that their father got more abusive, more impatient and violent towards Xiv the more they messed up the more their magic lashed out even though it was wild by nature.

this is not good fatherly behavior!! telling them something that would never come true, especially basing it on their skill, they must have the worst damned imposter syndrome known to man!! second guessing themselves, thinking they're never good enough or having to check with the man who made that rule to see if anything they do is good... that isn't healthy!! that isn't a good thing to teach to your child!!

now back to xiv. that one "sex book" throwaway thing is brief but it says. so much about how xiv's father raised them?? i do not care if im looking too much into it but it literally implies that xiv just. doesn't know a lot about things beyond what their father's told them or what were in the books he probably gave them as a kid. combine that with the fact that they immeadily "push out" the mournful thoughts about rai's death to deal with "more important matters"... oh my god... they call me mx head of the xiv emotional support group... the ceo if you will...

and now... another important stepping stone to understanding xiv... rai's death.

first off xiv shapeshifting in the middle of the fight and going "no, not now, goddamnit-" its said in such a tone thats just so... not only is it because it's during such an important moment while they're fighting someone they consider a friend. it's almost as if they've been conditioned to believe that aspect of them isn't good. even though its what helps distract Rai so Tal can attack him. it's like they view it as something that needs to stop instead of something they can't control. which is. probably what their father saw it as! something that xiv needed to stop doing instead of honing to their abilities!

secondly... xiv is a sorcerer. you might be asking "eden!! weren't we just over this?" yeah but. rai... is also a sorcerer. he has the power to harness the storm. the first thing xiv says to rai during the fight is "you see, this is exactly why sorcerers shouldn't learn how to read! you always acted like you're so much better than me; we never should have trusted you!"

and that line in general. it's so. it's the last thing xiv says before rai dies. how did rai act like he was better than xiv? did they tell him this beforehand? is it something they kept locked up, never expressing until this moment? was it on purpose, or was it accidental? was it xiv, seeing rai do things they never learned how to do, and feeling jealous, angry, that he had a chance and they didn't? that rai got the joy of not knowing his parents, while xiv knew their father all too well?

and the sorcerer part... it's not only a dig at rai but themselves. they should've never learned how to read. they shouldn'tve been forced to spend ages in that library, learning spells and incantations instead of just trying to be a little kid. its so subtle yet it speaks so much about how xiv views themselves.

okay. that is basically it for canon stuff. this next part is headcanons/theories that i think are important for the discussion but aren't canon but. i still wanna yap <3

I think the tower/castle xiv grew up in is like, in a snowy mountain close to baldur's gate. it's quite the hike to get there and back but you can kind of see it through certain higher areas of the city. the tower is either positioned behind or to the side of the mountain. the side would be so evil because xiv seeing only a glimpse of the city...

i have this theory that xiv's father was a general or colonel for a war that tal was involved in, with tal's mother being a general as well. thus, i think xiv's only contact with people is either the other generals of this war, or their potential children that were brought over during the occasional meeting or dinner party. very vauge but regardless. smirks.

finally i think xiv was allowed out only on very slim occasions, usually when they begged their father hands and knees or when they did good on training. they were allowed to go with their father into the town of baldur's gate, but if they strayed from him they would be punished. severely. xiv usually went to bed that night hungry, in pain, but happy^_^

ok thats it for real. love peace and joy have a wonderful day <333

#eden mrraps. #nerdy tag #writing tag #slimecicle bg3 #slimecicle xiv #slimecicle bg3 xiv #xiv slimecicle #child abuse cw #fatherly abuse cw #abuse cw #long post #character analysis

[princess-of-the-corner]

Ok well now I'm curious, in CC what does Enji think of Midoriya? I guess also throw in Rei, Fuyumi, and Natsuo thoughts and assumptions about Midoriya.

So first of all Enji /also/ assumes that Izuku is All Might's kid. Because yeah similar Quirk and all but /also/ the fact that his first interaction with Izuku was saying 'Hey I'm not All Might just like Shoto isn't you' which made him make the father/son correlation.

Between Enji and Shoto, the rest of the family also now thinks that Izuku is All Might's kid. And they're baffled to find out he's not.

I also have this specific scene of like. During the World Heroes' Mission movie when they're figuring out the seating arrangement for the plane. In the CC one we end up with Izuku and Enji sitting next to each other (meanwhile Shoto and Katsuki are together in the next row) and it's just.

Izuku: "Don't worry, Shoto! I can get some petty revenge in your honor by using the power of my hyperfixation to annoy the fuck out of him by asking him questions non-stop for the next eight hours!"

*eight hours later*

Shoto: "So. How'd it go?"

Izuku: "I..... I think I befriended him????"

Overall, Enji thinks that Izuku is a good kid and will make a good Hero and is a good person for Shoto to be around.

The rest of the family feels similar on that. I think Natsuo might be the most side-eyeing on that because like. Izuku is very curious about Quirks and given the family's history of combining strong Quirks.... but he quickly gets over that because Izuku is just so fucking nice???

[originemesis]

hc musings - character dive ; //

Judging from season 1, I think it's safe to assume Adam does not like be without his helmet/mask. Sure, he's dressed up for his meetings/in court/for the final battle, which is just about everywhere he pops up in the season. However, he's also briefly shown just hanging out with Lute in heaven and he's still in uniform while she isn't. This is likely their down time, and yet he's still lugging around his massive robes, fully decked out for battle like it could happen anytime when clearly they're in heaven and it can't. So why is this?

Well, when the mask actually comes off (it's forced off and smashed apart just to get to that point), Adam is just 'some dude' under the menacing, manic act he's been putting on the whole time. An act as in when he crawls out of the hole without his safeguard face, he literally just has a melt down in front of everyone where his previous 'cunty charm' and 'idgaf' attitude are gone in place of some caught on the spot, seething human looking dirt bag who's only 'gotcha' is to call the group that's put an end to his reign of terror 'losers'. Just losers (baby ~). If he's not insecure with what he is under that mask (and how could he not be when not one, but two people who were literally created to be his perfect match dumped his ass? Oof.), then he absolutely has an inferiority complex of sorts and its in his 'break-down' moment on screen where it's on full display without the glowing grin and the horns.

To scratch further at that thought- imagine how Adam, the first human/man was essentially created in God's image. He was created to be perfect by heaven's definition, and though he didn't stay that way, he got a taste for what that felt like. Literally anything he does after that point when Eve and him have to leave Eden is (unironically) 'mid' or worse.

HC wise (out of my own musings so don't mind the canon divergence here since s2 is likely uhh...twitterjokes2027-) I'm leaning into the idea that the first two human souls are weighty in the sense that they can't both be in the same after life or it'll upset whatever balance there is between heaven and hell. So at the time of their deaths, it was decided that heaven wanted Adam and so hell would have Eve by default (also she was the one they blamed most- typical fandoms @ female characters amiriteeee). This means Adam who knows he's not perfect anymore, hasn't felt so in a long time- goes to a plane of existence that exudes perfection. They have 'the brightest, the polite-est of the lot and everyone is hot'. And then there he is- just some dude who is none of those things (hates math, innately rude, and well...'just some guy' isn't exactly heaven-scale hot guyyys).

This cumulation of always realizing nothing he does is good enough (because he knows this) and yet being treated like it is because he just happened to be first leads Adam to a state that even Lucifer comments on in their battle in the form of 'oh haha, you really let yourself go-'. Which I take to mean in the sense Adam is up in heaven, holding zoom-style holographic meetings while he probably barely even leaves his room (and never without his gear on), neglecting the 'womanly' deemed things like cooking and taking care of himself, gaining struggle weight for it all, and worst of all...he's in heaven and he's essentially in a depressed state (that let's be real he'd say doesn't exist like the dwightyouignorantslut he is) and that is plastered all over his real face in the form of baggy under eyes and that gross chin stubble he got going on too. And since heaven is full of happy, not depressed- never have a hard day, and HOT people, he essentially stays covered 24/7 in public because people would definitely question why he's there and heaven really doesn't need more people questioning decisions that'll create more Lucifers.

While wearing the mask he's like a kid that won't take his Halloween costume off because it makes him feel cool, and he does get a lot more animated and forgetful of his true insides. He's almost like a school mascot in a way, using his 'angelsona' to amplify his attention-grabbing antics. Take it away and he's very likely much more identical to Lucifer in terms of the whole 'take THAT, depression!' bit. Except for Adam that just translates to him being far less animated, grumpy, electric-guitar to acoustic pipeline, passively aggressive and likely tired, being the source of all humanity and all (man needs to be sucking down that G-fuel hourly).

Additionally: Angeldust and Adam would have the same theme of 'putting on an act' (or in Adam's case- putting on a show) and not letting the real person behind the façade show through. (Though in Angel's case it's for his own protection. In Adam's case it's because man can't cope with his insecurity.) And how Husk sees through Angel's bullshit, Lute does the same with Adam.

Adam's helmet glitched out the same way that Vox's did, so it could very well be a hint that Vox and Adam may have something to do with antagonism in the next season. If Adam came back w/o his mask and this all was applicable ofc, he would definitely team up with or make a deal with Vox in order to get him to fix the helmet (assuming he can based on the idea he might know how it works when put back together since his own tv face has been shown to glitch out like Adam's did) since it would be a necessary competent to bring back the actual 'Adam' he's become after living in discomfort with the one he became after experiencing real perfection.

#//why everything is mid- the end #//kugel making me eat my own hand wanting to write about this #//i mean this is what i thinkk is going on w/him but #//real life said 'cope' and he was like aight #long post #hc ; // guaranteed guitar solo

[identityquest]

I'm always playing catchup I stg... day 5, relationships. I let my followers vote on whether I'd reveal spoilery oc lore during this week and they voted yeas 👍 these two characters are Ash and End, primordial god siblings whos childhood squabble ruins everything for everyone. Deeper lore under the cut

Every narrative I have is connected through a singular setting: the Ether, the overarching plane of existence that everything exists within. The Ether is the body of the first sapient entity, the Beginning, whose dying breath would breathe new life into their dead body. From their flesh arose new souls, the first of which was Ash. Ash—the Middle—was their inheritor and overseer of all creation. More primordial concept-deities came after them, like Time and Space and so on, until their final sibling was born. End—the concept of senescence—would one day devour the Ether and then become a new Beginning, and so the cycle would continue.

Ash hated End for what they perceived as preferential treatment from their absent parent; End would one day grow to overpower the other deities and outlive them. The two siblings quarreled and bickered with each other for eons until one day, their argument reaching a head, Ash struck out and killed End. They hadn't intended to, because no one knew that gods could die. The End shattered into trillions of non-sapient soul fragments, out of the perception of the gods. However, in their death throes they lashed out and split Ash in two. These two new halves, Ink and Paint—gods of darkness and light—would go on to rule over creation like they'd intended. Later, they would drift into a deep sleep billions of years long.

Anyone old enough to remember End assumes they are dead, with only enough non-sapient shards of them left to enforce the concept of senescence over creation. This isn't quite true though—one large shard survived, and is hellbent on revenge. This shard is the Head, the logic centers of the ancient deity. Underpowered and almost basically mortal without the rest of its soul, the Head goes unnoticed by its divine siblings. It seeks out the other shards of the End in order to devour them and regain its lost power.

The Head has lived multiple mortal lives while searching for these shards. The primary shard it's looking for is the Heart—a hypothetical mass of pure, concentrated emotional memory. This one shard would be enough for End to reform and devour all of creation. My character Meyrin is the Head, and right now he's convinced Romsir, and unrelated mortal, is the Heart. Meyrin has followed Romsir across multiple lives, attempting to either ingratiate himself to them or to outright take control over them. Most of these attempts have resulted in both of their premature deaths.

Their most recent life is different though—the collapse of a universe has threatened the integrity of all of creation, and sleeping gods are beginning to wake up. Both of them are on a time limit: Meyrin needs to devour the Heart before his siblings catch him, and Romsir needs to save their universe before everything falls apart. Neither is having a good time of it.

#digital art #ocs #oc:end #oc:ash #body horror/ #gore/ #teeth/ #teeth horror/ #eye horror/ #scopophobia/ #ask to tag #sorry yall this one really got away from me #but i put a lot of time into it and i actually. really like it. so i had to post it #i really dont mind adding tags im just concerned that i missed any someone would need #bweirdoctober

[caeli0306]

Chapter 2 of Tales from the Airport Bathroom is now posted!

Chapter 2/3 now up on AO3: READ HERE

Summary:

In which Lt. Xaden Riorson, a begrudging member of the Navarrian Air Force's special ops squad, meets one Violet Sorrengail, a secret operative for the Navarrian Intelligence Agency.

or

Xaden is a simp, and Liam and Garrick think it's hilarious. There is nothing slow about this burn.

===

Those gorgeous eyes flick down the length of me and she bites her bottom lip, and yeah- I can think of at least 10 different ways I want this woman. I'm not going to question where this incessant desire is coming from; there's no point when all that matters is that I can barely think in her presence.

Violet is silent for a moment, before pulling in a shuddering breath. "That backpack is standard issue for Air Force special ops," she says. "Not a stretch to assume."

Those alarm bells from earlier are back on in full-force. I can't think of anyone who isn't military that would know the specifics of the kinds of backpacks that get issued to different units. It's not like its classified material, but its not the kind of thing a civilian would just know.

Which means I have to be extremely careful. I'm on board a plane to Cordyn, with someone who knows I'm affiliated with Navarre's military, on my way to commit treason.

What a fucking day I'm having.

"That's a good guess," I manage. "Now are you done shaming me for my reclining preferences, Violence?"

Something in her gaze darkens, and I have to stop myself from reaching out and touching her face. This is so dangerous.

"My name is Violet," she hisses, but I don't miss how her eyes flit down to my mouth for one agonizing moment, before meeting my eyes again.

"I think my version suits you better."

#fourth wing #ao3 #fourth wing fanfic #iron flame #xadenviolet #fanfiction #rebecca yarros #the empyrean #violet and xaden #violet sorrengail #xaden riorson

[heinzpilsner]

I'm a zutarian megabrain now

Hey guys, do you remember how I said I found the answers to most of my questions in tSR?

Well, just now I finally put my finger on another fascinating problem with zutara in this episode! Yay!

Yes, I've been told I'm a terrifying person, thank you

Spoiler: Aang and Zuko are not so different after all. Surprise?

(It's not such bad news for zutara as a ship though! Just a thing to consider.)

The thing is, there are two separate planes in Zuko and Katara's relationship this episode highlights:

1) The similarity of their values, personalities, mutual gravitation (doesn't matter here romantic or platonic), mr. and mrs. smith synchronicity, etc.;

2) Zuko's bad (yes, bad) feeling of boundaries in his communication with Katara.

(I'm gonna prove it soon enough, don't worry).

And what I state here is that zutara works so well on the basis of point 1 it manages to work even in spite of the highly problematic point 2.

And that's where the potential problems in their relationship lie. Good news though is that Zuko, as well as Aang, can always grow as a person!

Not in a bryke canon though

(Aang can't really do much about his fundamental values and previous experiences though, so here lies Zuko's advantage. Hurray?)

Anyway, to finally prove my words, let's first look at Zuko's wording when he offers their revenge trip to Katara:

"I know who killed your mother and I'm going to help you find him".

What's wrong with this sentence from a purely communicative point of view?

It wasn't just "I know who killed your mother (end of the sentence, waiting for Katara's answer)". And while it may seem as a very minor, harmless thing, in reallity the difference is crucial.

Because it implies two things:

1) Zuko just assumes that finding Yon Rha (for whatever reason) is something what Katara wants. Without asking her first. Although all he knows about the situation right now is that a) Katara's mother was murdered by a Fire Nation soldier and b) Katara is still sad and angry because of it.

2) This trip is something what Zuko himself is definitely interested in though: either because he's desperate to make peace with Katara or because he cares about her (or because of his traumatic projections) - it doesn't really matter. What's important here is that so far he has no way of knowing if Katara wants the same, which applies to both assumptions:

- she wants to face her mother's murderer;

- she wants to make piece with Zuko.

Hence, he doesn't really see the difference between his own desires and Katara's desires, doesn't feel where his boundaries end and Katara's start. In a way, he sees her as a part of himself.

And while it may sound romantic to some weird people, in reality it could be a big problem.

Also, ironically enough, it's the exact same thing people keep roasting poor Aang for!

Meanwhile, on a fundamental level, Zuko's desperate attempt of reconciliation after Katara basically said she isn't really interested ("Well dude, we can make up if you resurrect my mum from the dead!" is not exactly an encouraging message at least in atla universe) is an analogue of Aang's intrusive kiss in the Ember Island Players.

Except... Zuko guessed Katara's true wishes correctly.

Aang didn't.

And it's not the only instance in tSR - Zuko keeps speaking on Katara's behalf in her presence first to Aang ("she needs this, it's about closure"), and then to an assumed murderer of Katara's mother during the episode. And it wouldn't be an okay thing to do even if he were her husband, let alone whatever is the status of their relationship now!

The only reason Katara is okay with this is because her boundaries are ridiculously open for him at this point - she let him in so closely that she also sees him as a part of herself now.

It's not a thing to celebrate though, fellow zutarians: the moment their illusory unity would be broken by the first serious difference would feel like another betrayal for her (Or at least that's what my life experience tells me).

So, basically, Zuko just got lucky in his interactions with Katara in tSR.

He was lucky he understands Katara's pain and values so well.

He was lucky they have a similar moral code.

He was lucky Katara didn't really hate him at this point. He was lucky they work together so well.

He was lucky Katara wasn't competent enough psychologically to realise the problem with his behaviour.

(And he was extremely lucky her mother's murderer had something useful to say. This encounter could have ended much worse for Katara if Yon Rha's story or behavior were different.)

The conclusion: Zuko may be a good partner for Katara personally in the specific interactions, but he wouldn't be an equally good partner in general at this point (at least if we judge him by his communication in tSR only).

I have no way of proving this statement though, because a) I need to rewatch different episodes for this yet and b) the only person Zuko romantically interacts with in canon is Mai, and... Well, let's just say it's a kind of disaster I don't wanna touch with a stick right now, lol.

So... Take it all with a grain of salt, as usual.

Not gonna pretend though - I'm still ridiculously proud of my big stupid zutarian brain, lol.

Like, it's a really interesting discovery if I may say so myself.

Annnnd I'm still ignoring my notifications in case you forgot.

#atla #zutara #zuko #katara #aang